Knightly ideals and honor—Thirty adolescents from
Shakespeare—Goethe—C.D. Warner—Aldrich—The fugitive nature of
adolescent experience—Extravagance of autobiographies—Stories that
attach to great names—Some typical crazes—Illustrations from George
Eliot, Edison, Chatterton, Hawthorne, Whittier, Spencer, Huxley,
Lyell, Byron, Heine, Napoleon, Darwin, Martineau, Agassiz, Madame
Roland, Louisa Alcott, F.H. Burnett, Helen Keller, Marie Bashkirtseff,
Mary MacLane, Ada Negri, De Quincey, Stuart Mill, Jefferies, and
scores of others.
The knightly ideals and those of secular life generally during the
middle ages and later were in striking contrast to the ascetic ideals
of the early Christian Church; in some respects they were like those
of the Greeks. Honor was the leading ideal, and muscular development
and that of the body were held in high respect; so that the spirit of
the age fostered conceptions not unlike those of the Japanese Bushido.
Where elements of Christianity were combined with this we have the
spirit of the pure chivalry of King Arthur and the Knights of the
Round Table, which affords perhaps the very best ideals for youth to
be found in history, as we shall see more fully later.
In a very interesting paper, entitled "Shakespeare and Adolescence,"
Dr. M.F. Libby[1] very roughly reckons "seventy-four interesting
adolescents among the comedies, forty-six among the tragedies, and
nineteen among the histories." He selects "thirty characters who,
either on account of direct references to their age, or because of
their love-stories, or because they show the emotional and
intellectual plasticity of youth, may be regarded as typical
adolescents." His list is as follows: Romeo, Juliet, Hamlet, Ophelia,
Imogen, Perdita, Arviragus, Guiderius, Palamon, Arcite, Emilia,
Ferdinand, Miranda, Isabella, Mariana, Orlando, Rosalind, Biron,
Portia, Jessica, Phebe, Katharine, Helena, Viola, Troilus, Cressida,
Cassio, Marina, Prince Hal, and Richard of Gloucester. The proof of
the youth of these characters, as set forth, is of various kinds, and
Libby holds that besides these, the sonnets and poems perhaps show a
yet greater, more profound and concentrated knowledge of adolescence.
He thinks "Venus and Adonis" a successful attempt to treat sex in a
candid, naive way, if it be read as it was meant, as a catharsis of
passion, in which is latent a whole philosophy of art. To some extent
he also finds the story of the Passionate Pilgrim "replete with the
deepest knowledge of the passions of early adolescence" The series
culminates in Sonnet 116, which makes love the sole beacon of
humanity. It might be said that it is connected by a straight line
with the best teachings of Plato, and that here humanity picked up the
clue, lost, save with some Italian poets, in the great interval.
In looking over current autobiographies of well-known modern men who
deal with their boyhood, one finds curious extremes. On the one hand
are those of which Doctor's is a type, where details are dwelt upon at
great length with careful and suggestive philosophic reflections. The
development of his own tastes, capacities, and his entire adult
consciousness was assumed to be due to the incidents of childhood and
youth, and especially the latter stage was to him full of the most
serious problems essential to his self-knowledge; and in the story of
his life he has exploited all available resources of this genetic
period of storm and stress more fully perhaps than any other writer.
At the other extreme, we have writers like Charles Dudley Warner,[2] a
self-made man, whose early life was passed on the farm, and who holds
his own boyhood there in greater contempt than perhaps any other
reputable writer of such reminiscences. All the incidents are treated
not only with seriousness, but with a forced drollery and catchy
superficiality which reflect unfavorably at almost every point upon
the members of his household, who are caricatured; all the precious
associations of early life on a New England farm are not only made
absurd, but from beginning to end his book has not a scintilla of
instruction or suggestion for those that are interested in child life.
Aldrich[3] is better, and we have interesting glimpses of the pet
horse and monkeys, of his fighting the boy bully, running way, and
falling in love with an older girl whose engagement later blighted his
life. Howells,[4] White,[5] Mitter,[6] Grahame,[7] Heidi,[8] and Mrs.
Barnett,[9] might perhaps represent increasing grades of merit in this
field in this respect.
Yoder,[10] in his interesting study of the boyhood of great men, has
called attention to the deplorable carelessness of their biographers
concerning the facts and influences of their youth. He advocates the
great pedagogic influence of biography, and would restore the high
appreciation of it felt by the Bolandists, which Comte's positivist
calendar, that renamed all the days of the year from three hundred and
sixty-five such accounts in 1849, also sought to revive. Yoder
selected fifty great modern biographies, autobiographies preferred,
for his study. He found a number of lives whose equipment and momentum
have been strikingly due to some devoted aunt, and that give many
glimpses of the first polarization of genius in the direction in which
fame is later achieved. He holds that, while the great men excelled in
memory, imagination is perhaps still more a youthful condition of
eminence; magnifies the stimulus of poverty, the fact that elder sons
become prominent nearly twice as often as younger ones; and raises the
question whether too exuberant physical development does not dull
genius and talent.
One striking and cardinal fact never to be forgotten considering its
each and every phenomenon and stage is that the experiences of
adolescence are extremely transitory and very easily forgotten, so
that they are often totally lost to the adult consciousness.
Lancaster[11] observes that we are constantly told by adults past
thirty that they never had this and that experience, and that those
who have had them are abnormal; that they are far more rare than
students of childhood assert, etc. He says, "Not a single young person
with whom I have had free and open conversation has been free from
serious thoughts of suicide," but these are forgotten later. A typical
case of many I could gather is that of a lady, not yet in middle life,
precise and carefully trained, who, on hearing a lecture on the
typical phases of adolescence, declared that she must have been
abnormal, for she knew nothing of any of these experiences. Her
mother, however, produced her diary, and there she read for the first
time since it was written, beginning in the January of her thirteenth
year, a long series of resolutions which revealed a course of conduct
that brought the color to her face, that she should have found it
necessary to pledge not to swear, lie, etc., and which showed
conclusively that she had passed through about all the phases
described. These phenomena are sometimes very intense and may come
late in life, but it is impossible to remember feelings and emotions
with definiteness, and these now make up a large part of life. Hence
we are prone to look with some incredulity upon the immediate records
of the tragic emotions and experiences typical and normal at this
time, because development has scored away their traces from the
conscious soul.
There is a wall around the town of Boyville, says White,[12] in
substance, which is impenetrable when its gates have once shut upon
youth. An adult may peer over the wall and try to ape the games
inside, but finds it all a mockery and himself banished among the
purblind grown-ups. The town of Boyville was old when Nineveh was a
hamlet; it is ruled by ancient laws; has its own rulers and idols; and
only the dim, unreal noises of the adult world about it have changed.
In exploring such sources we soon see how few writers have given true
pictures of the chief traits of this developmental period, which can
rarely be ascertained with accuracy. The adult finds it hard to recall
the emotional and instinctive life of the teens which is banished
without a trace, save as scattered hints may be gathered from diaries,
chance experiences, or the recollections of others. But the best
observers see but very little of what goes on in the youthful soul,
the development of which is very largely subterranean. Only when the
feelings erupt in some surprising way is the process manifest. The
best of these sources are autobiographies, and of these only few are
full of the details of this stage. Just as in the mythic prehistoric
stage of many nations there is a body of legendary matter, which often
reappears in somewhat different form, so there is a floating
plankton-like mass of tradition and storiology that seems to attach to
eminence wherever it emerges and is repeated over and over again,
concerning the youth of men who later achieve distinction, which
biographers often incorporate and attach to the time, place, and
person of their heroes.
As Burnham[13] well intimates, many of the literary characterizations
of adolescence are so marked by extravagance, and sometimes even by
the struggle for literary effects, that they are not always the best
documents, although often based on personal experience.
Confessionalism is generally overdrawn, distorted, and especially the
pains of this age are represented as too keen. Of George Eliot's types
of adolescent character, this may best be seen in Maggie Tulliver,
with her enthusiastic self-renunciation, with "her volcanic upheavings
of imprisoned passions," with her "wide, hopeless yearning for that
something, whatever it was, that was greatest and best on this earth,"
and in Gwendolen, who, from the moment she caught Deronda's eye, was
"totally swayed in feeling and action by the presence of a person of
the other sex whom she had never seen before." There was "the resolute
action from instinct and the setting at defiance of calculation and
reason, the want of any definite desire to marry, while all her
conduct tended to promote proposals." Exaggeration, although not the
perversions of this age often found in adult characterizations, is
marked trait of the writings of adolescents, whose conduct meanwhile
may appear rational, so that this suggests that consciousness may at
this stage serve as a harmless vent for tendencies that would
otherwise cause great trouble if turned to practical affairs. If
Harmodius and Aristogeiton, the adolescent tyrant slayers of Greece,
had been theorists, they might have been harmless on the principle
that its analysis tends to dissipate emotion.
Lancaster[14] gathered and glanced over a thousand biographies, from
which he selected 200 for careful study, choosing them to show
different typical directions of activity. Of these, 120 showed a
distinct craze for reading in adolescence; 109 became great lovers of
nature; 58 wrote poetry, 58 showed a great and sudden development of
energy; 55 showed great eagerness for school; 53 devoted themselves
for a season to art and music; 53 became very religious; 51 left home
in the teens; 51 showed dominant instincts of leadership; 49 had great
longings of many kinds; 46 developed scientific tastes; 41 grew very
anxious about the future; 34 developed increased keenness of sensation
or at least power of observation; in 32 cases health was better; 31
were passionately altruistic; 23 became idealists; 23 showed powers of
invention; 17 were devoted to older friends; 15 would reform society;
7 hated school. These, like many other statistics, have only
indicative value, as they are based on numbers that are not large
enough and upon returns not always complete.
A few typical instances from Lancaster must here suffice. Savonarola
was solitary, pondering, meditating, felt profoundly the evils of the
world and need of reform, and at twenty-two spent a whole night
planning his career. Shelley during these years was unsocial, much
alone, fantastic, wandered much by moonlight communing with stars and
moon, was attached to an older man. Beecher was intoxicated with
nature, which he declared afterward to have been the inspiration of
his life. George Eliot at thirteen had a passion for music and became
a clever pianist. At sixteen she was religious, founded societies for
the poor and for animals, and had fitting spells of misanthropy.
Edison undertook to read the Detroit Free Library through, read
fifteen solid feet as the books stand on the shelves, was stopped, and
says he has read comparatively little since. Tolstoi found the aspect
of things suddenly changed. Nature put on a new appearance. He felt he
might commit the most dreadful crimes with no purpose save curiosity
and the need of action. The future looked gloomy. He became furiously
angry without cause; thought he was lost, hated by everybody, was
perhaps not the son of his father, etc. At seventeen he was solitary,
musing about immortality, human destiny, feeling death at hand, giving
up his studies, fancying himself a great man with new truths for
humanity. By and by he took up the old virtuous course of life with
fresh power, new resolutions, with the feeling that he had lost much
time. He had a deep religious experience at seventeen and wept for joy
over his new life. He had a period before twenty when he told
desperate lies, for which he could not account, then a passion for
music, and later for French novels. Rousseau at this age was
discontented, immensely in love, wept often without cause, etc. Keats
had a great change at fourteen, wrestling with frequent obscure and
profound stirrings of soul, with a sudden hunger for knowledge which
consumed his days with fire, and "with passionate longing to drain the
cup of experience at a draft." He was "at the morning hour when the
whole world turns to gold." "The boy had suddenly become a poet."
Chatterton was too proud to eat a gift dinner, though nearly starved,
and committed suicide at seventeen for lack of appreciation. John
Hunter was dull and hated study, but at twenty his mind awoke as did
that of Patrick Henry, who before was a lonely wanderer, sitting idly
for hours under the trees. Alexander Murray awoke to life at fifteen
and acquired several languages in less than two years. Gifford was
distraught for lack of reading, went to sea at thirteen, became a
shoemaker, studying algebra late at night, was savagely unsociable,
sunk into torpor from which he was roused to do splenetic and
vexatious tricks, which alienated his friends. Rittenhouse at fourteen
was a plowboy, covering the fences with figures, musing on infinite
time and space. Benjamin Thompson was roused to a frenzy for sciences
at fifteen; at seventeen walked nine miles daily to attend lectures at
Cambridge; and at nineteen married a widow of thirty-three. Franklin
had a passion for the sea; at thirteen read poetry all night; wrote
verses and sold them on the streets of Boston; doubted everything at
fifteen; left home for good at seventeen; started the first public
library in Philadelphia before he was twenty-one. Robert Fulton was
poor, dreamy, mercurial, devoted to nature, art, and literature. He
became a painter of talent, then a poet, and left home at seventeen.
Bryant was sickly till fourteen and became permanently well
thereafter; was precociously devoted to nature, religion, prayed for
poetic genius and wrote Thanatopsis before he was eighteen. Jefferson
doted on animals and nature at fourteen, and at seventeen studied
fifteen hours a day. Garfield, though living in Ohio, longed for the
sea, and ever after this period the sight of a ship gave him a strange
thrill. Hawthorne was devoted to the sea and wanted to sail on and on
forever and never touch shore again. He would roam through the Maine
woods alone; was haunted by the fear that he would die before
twenty-five. Peter Cooper left home at seventeen; was passionately
altruistic; and at eighteen vowed he would build a place like his New
York Institute. Whittier at fourteen found a copy of Burns, which
excited him and changed the current of his life. Holmes had a passion
for flowers, broke into poetry at fifteen, and had very romantic
attachments to certain trees. J. T. Trowbridge learned German, French,
and Latin alone before twenty-one; composed poetry at the plow and
wrote it out in the evening. Henry followed a rabbit under the Public
Library at Albany, found a hole in the floor that admitted him to the
shelves, and, unknown to any one, read all the fiction the library
contained, then turned to physics, astronomy, and chemistry, and
developed a passion for the sciences. He was stage-struck, and became
a good amateur actor. H. H. Boyesen was thrilled by nature and by the
thought that he was a Norseman. He had several hundred pigeons,
rabbits, and other pets; loved to be in the woods at night; on leaving
home for school was found with his arms around the neck of a calf to
which he was saying good-by. Maxwell, at sixteen, had almost a horror
of destroying a leaf, flower, or fly. Jahn found growing in his heart,
at this age, an inextinguishable feeling for right and wrong—which
later he thought the cause of all his inner weal and outer woe. When
Nansen was in his teens he spent weeks at a time alone in the forest,
full of longings, courage, altruism, wanted to get away from every one
and live like Crusoe. T. B. Reed, at twelve and thirteen, had a
passion for reading; ran away at seventeen; painted, acted, and wrote
poetry. Cartwright, at sixteen, heard voices from the sky saying,
"Look above, thy sins are forgiven thee." Herbert Spencer became an
engineer at seventeen, after one idle year. He never went to school,
but was a private pupil of his uncle. Sir James Mackintosh grew fond
of history at eleven; fancied he was the Emperor of Constantinople;
loved solitude at thirteen; wrote poetry at fourteen; and fell in love
at seventeen. Thomas Buxton loved dogs, horses, and literature, and
combined these while riding on an old horse. At sixteen be fell in
love with an older literary woman, which aroused every latent power to
do or die, and thereafter he took all the school prizes. Scott began
to like poetry at thirteen. Pascal wrote treatises on conic sections
at sixteen and invented his arithmetical machine at nineteen. Nelson
went to sea at twelve; commanded a boat in peril at fifteen, which at
the same age he left to fight a polar bear. Banks, the botanist, was
idle and listless till fourteen, could not travel the road marked out
for him; when coming home from bathing, he was struck by the beauty of
the flowers and at once began his career. Montcalm and Wolfe both
distinguished themselves as leaders in battle at sixteen. Lafayette
came to America at nineteen, thrilled by our bold strike for liberty.
Gustavus Adolphus declared his own majority at seventeen and was soon
famous. Ida Lewis rescued four men in a boat at sixteen. Joan of Arc
began at thirteen to have the visions which were the later guide of
her life.
Mr. Swift has collected interesting biographical material[15] to show
that school work is analytic, while life is synthetic, and how the
narrowness of the school enclosure prompts many youth in the wayward
age to jump fences and seek new and more alluring pastures. According
to school standards, many were dull and indolent, but their nature was
too large or their ideals too high to be satisfied with it. Wagner at
the Nikolaischule at Leipzig was relegated to the third form, having
already attained to the second at Dresden, which so embittered him
that he lost all taste for philology and, in his own words, "became
lazy and slovenly." Priestley never improved by any systematic course
of study. W.H. Gibson was very slow and was rebuked for wasting his
time in sketching. James Russell Lowell was reprimanded, at first
privately and then publicly, in his sophomore year "for general
negligence in themes, forensics, and recitations," and finally
suspended in 1838 "on account of continued neglect of his college
duties." In early life Goldsmith's teacher thought him the dullest boy
she had ever taught. His tutor called him ignorant and stupid. Irving
says that a lad "whose passions are not strong enough in youth to
mislead him from that path of science which his tutors, and not his
inclinations, have chalked out, by four or five years' perseverance,
will probably obtain every advantage and honor his college can bestow.
I would compare the man whose youth has been thus passed in the
tranquility of dispassionate prudence, to liquors that never ferment,
and, consequently, continue always muddy." Huxley detested writing
till past twenty. His schooling was very brief, and he declared that
those set over him "cared about as much for his intellectual and moral
welfare as if they were baby farmers." Humphry Davy was faithful but
showed no talent in school, having "the reputation of being an idle
boy, with a gift for making verses, but with no aptitude for studies
of a graver sort." Later in life he considered it fortunate that he
was left so much to himself. Byron was so poor a scholar that he only
stood at the head of the class when, as was the custom, it was
inverted, and the bantering master repeatedly said to him, "Now,
George, man, let me see how soon you'll be at the foot." Schiller's
negligence and lack of alertness called for repeated reproof, and his
final school thesis was unsatisfactory. Hegel was a poor scholar, and
at the university it was stated "that he was of middling industry and
knowledge but especially deficient in philosophy." John Hunter nearly
became a cabinetmaker. Lyell had excessive aversion to work. George
Combe wondered why he was so inferior to other boys in arithmetic.
Heine agreed with the monks that Greek was the invention of the devil.
"God knows what misery I suffered with it." He hated French meters,
and his teacher vowed he had no soul for poetry. He idled away his
time at Bonn, and was "horribly bored" by the "odious, stiff,
cut-and-dried tone" of the leathery professors. Humboldt was feeble as
a child and "had less facility in his studies than most children."
"Until I reached the age of sixteen," he says, "I showed little
inclination for scientific pursuits." He was essentially self-taught,
and acquired most of his knowledge rather late in life. At nineteen he
had never heard of botany. Sheridan was called inferior to many of his
schoolfellows. He was remarkable for nothing but idleness and winning
manners, and was "not only slovenly in construing, but unusually
defective in his Greek grammar." Swift was refused his degree because
of "dulness and insufficiency," but given it later as a special favor.
Wordsworth was disappointing. General Grant was never above
mediocrity, and was dropped as corporal in the junior class and served
the last year as a private. W. H. Seward was called "too stupid to
learn." Napoleon graduated forty-second in his class. "Who," asks
Swift, "were the forty-one above him?" Darwin was singularly incapable
of mastering any language. "When he left school," he says, "I was
considered by all my masters and by my father as a very ordinary boy,
rather below the common standard in intellect. To my deep
mortification, my father once said to me, 'You care for nothing but
shooting, dogs, and rat-catching, and you will be a disgrace to
yourself and to all your family.'" Harriet Martineau was thought very
dull. Though a horn musician, she could do absolutely nothing in the
presence of her irritable master. She wrote a cramped, untidy scrawl
until past twenty. A visit to some very brilliant cousins at the age
of sixteen had much to do in arousing her backward nature. At this age
J. Pierpont Morgan wrote poetry and was devoted to mathematics. Booker
T. Washington, at about thirteen or fourteen (he does not know the
date of his birth), felt the new meaning of life and started off on
foot to Hampton, five hundred miles away, not knowing even the
direction, sleeping under a sidewalk his first night in Richmond.
Vittorino da Feltre,[16] according to Dr. Burnham, had a low, tardy
development, lingering on a sluggish dead level from ten to fourteen,
which to his later unfoldment was as the barren, improving years
sometimes called the middle ages, compared with the remainder which
followed when a new world-consciousness intensified his personality.
Lancaster's summaries show that of 100 actors, the average age of
their first great success was exactly 18 years. Those he chose had
taken to the stage of their own accord, for actors are more born than
made. Nearly half of them were Irish, the unemotional American stock
having furnished far less. Few make their first success on the stage
after 22, but from 16 to 20 is the time to expect talent in this line,
although there is a second rise in his curve before and still more
after 25, representing those whose success is more due to intellect.
Taking the average age of 100 novelists when their first story met
with public approval, the curve reaches its highest point between 30
and 35. Averaging 53 poets, the age at which most first poems were
published falls between 15 and 20. The average age at which first
publication showed talent he places at 18, which is in striking
contrast with the average age of inventors at time of the first
patent, which is 33 years.
A still more striking contrast is that between 100 musicians and 100
professional men. Music is by far the most precocious and instinctive
of all talents. The average age when marked talent was first shown is
a little less than 10 years, 95 per cent showed rare talent before 16,
while the professional men graduated at an average age of 24 years and
11 months, and 10 years must be added to mark the point of recognized
success. Of 53 artists, 90 per cent showed talent before 20, the
average age being 17.2 years. Of 100 pioneers who made their mark in
the Far West, leaving home to seek fortunes near the frontier, the
greatest number departed before they were 18. Of 118 scientists,
Lancaster estimates that their life interest first began to glow on
the average a little before they were 19. In general, those whose
success is based on emotional traits antedate by some years those
whose renown is more purely in intellectual spheres, and taking all
together, the curves of the first class culminate between 18 and 20.
While men devoted to physical science, and their biographers, give us
perhaps the least breezy accounts of this seething age, it may be,
because they mature late, nearly all show its ferments and its
circumnutations, as a few almost random illustrations clearly show:
Tycho Brahe, born in 1596 of illustrious Danish stock, was adopted by
an uncle, and entered the University of Copenhagen at thirteen, where
multiplication, division, philosophy, and metaphysics were taught.
When he was fourteen, an eclipse of the sun occurred, which aroused so
much interest that he decided to devote himself to the study of the
heavenly bodies. He was able to construct a series of interesting
instruments on a progressive scale of size, and finally to erect the
great Observatory of Uraniberg on the Island of Hven. Strange to say,
his scientific conclusions had for him profound astrological
significance. An important new star he declared was "at first like
Venus and Jupiter and its effects will therefore first be pleasant;
but as it then became like Mars, there will next come a period of
wars, seditions, captivity, and death of princes, and destruction of
cities, together with dryness and fiery meteors in the air,
pestilence, and venomous snakes. Lastly, the star became like Saturn,
and thus will finally come a time of want, death, imprisonment, and
all kinds of sad things!" He says that "a special use of astronomy is
that it enables us to draw conclusions from the movements in the
celestial regions as to human fate." He labored on his island twenty
years. He was always versifying, and inscribed a poem over the
entrance of his underground observatory expressing the astonishment of
Urania at finding in the interior of the earth a cavern devoted to the
study of the heavens.
Galileo[17] was born in 1564 of a Florentine noble, who was poor. As a
youth he became an excellent lutist, then thought of devoting himself
to painting, but when he was seventeen studied medicine, and at the
University of Pisa fell in love with mathematics.
Isaac Newton,[18] born in 1642, very frail and sickly, solitary, had a
very low piece in the class lists of his school; wrote poetry, and at
sixteen tried farming. In one of his university examinations in Euclid
be did so poorly as to incur special censure. His first incentive to
diligent study came from being severely kicked by a high class boy. He
then resolved to pass him in studies, and soon rose to the head of the
school. He made many ingenious toys and windmills; a carriage, the
wheels of which were driven by the hands of the occupants, and a clock
which moved by water; curtains, kites, lanterns, etc.; and before he
was fourteen fell in love with Miss Storey, several yeas older than
himself. He entered Trinity College at Cambridge at eighteen.
William Herschel, born in 1738, at the outbreak of the Seven Years'
War, when he was eighteen, was a performer in the regimental band, and
after a battle passed a night in a ditch and escaped in disguise, to
England, where he eked out a precarious livelihood by teaching music.
He supported himself until middle age as an organist. In much of his
later work he was greatly aided by his sister Caroline. When he
discovered a sixth planet he became famous, and devoted himself
exclusively to astronomy, training his only son to follow in his
footsteps, and dying in 1822.
Agassiz[19] at twelve had developed a mania for collecting. He
memorized Latin names, of which he accumulated "great volumes of
MSS.", and "modestly expressed the hope that in time he might be able
to give the name of every known animal." At fourteen he revolted at
mercantile life, for which he was designed, and issued a manifesto
planning to spend four years at a Cermem university, then in Paris,
when he could begin to write. Rooks were scarce, and a little later he
copied, with the aid of his brother, several large volumes, and had
fifty live birds in his room at one time.
At twelve Huxley[20] became an omnivorous reader, and two or three
years later devoured Hamilton's Logic and became deeply interested in
metaphysics. At fourteen he saw and participated in his first
post-mortem examination, was left in a strange state of apathy by it,
and dates his life-long dyspepsia to this experience. His training was
irregular; he taught himself German with a book in one hand while he
made hay with the other; speculated about the basis of matter, soul,
and their relations, on radicalism and conservatism; and reproached
himself that he did not work and get on enough. At seventeen he
attempted a comprehensive classification of human knowledge, and
having finished his survey, resolved to master the topics one after
another, striking them out from his table with ink as soon us they
were done. "May the list soon get black, although at present I shall
hardly be able, I am afraid, to spot the paper." Beneath the top
skimmings of these years he afterward conceived seething depths
working beneath the froth, but could give hardly any account of it. He
undertook the practise of pharmacy, etc.
Women with literary gifts perhaps surpass men in their power to
reproduce and describe the great but so often evanescent ebullitions
of this age; perhaps because their later lives, on account of their
more generic nature, depart less from this totalizing period, or
because, although it is psychologically shorter than in men, the
necessities of earning a livelihood less frequently arrest its full
development, and again because they are more emotional, and feeling
constitutes the chief psychic ingredient of this stage of life, or
they dwell more on subjective states.
Manon Philipon (Madame Roland) was born in 1754. Her father was an
engraver in comfortable circumstances. Her earliest enthusiasm was for
the Bible and Lives of the Saints, and she had almost a mania for
reading books of any kind. In the corner of her father's workshop she
would read Plutarch for hours, dream of the past glories of antiquity,
and exclaim, weeping, "Why was I not born a Greek?" She desired to
emulate the brave men of old.
Books and flowers aroused her to dreams of enthusiasm, romantic
sentiment, and lofty aspiration. Finding that the French society
afforded no opportunity for heroic living, in her visionary fervor she
fell back upon a life of religious mysticism, and Xavier, Loyola, St.
Elizabeth, and St. Theresa became her new idols. She longed to follow
even to the stake those devout men and women who had borne obloquy,
poverty, hunger, thirst, wretchedness, and the agony of a martyr's
death for the sake of Jesus. Her capacities for self-sacrifice became
perhaps her leading trait, always longing after a grand life like
George Eliot's Dorothea Brooke. She was allowed at the age of eleven
to enter a convent, where, shunning her companions, she courted
solitude apart, under the trees, reading and thinking. Artificial as
the atmosphere was here, it no doubt inspired her life with permanent
tenderness of feeling and loftiness of purpose, and gave a mystic
quality to her imagination. Later she experienced to the full
revulsion of thought and experience which comes when doubt reacts upon
youthful credulity. It was the age of the encyclopedia, and now she
came to doubt her creed and even God and the soul, but clung to the
Gospels as the best possible code of morals, and later realized that
while her intellect had wandered her heart had remained constant. At
seventeen she was, if not the moat beautiful, perhaps the noblest
woman in all France, and here the curtain moat drop upon her girlhood.
All her traits were, of course, set off by the great life she lived
and the yet greater death she died.
Gifted people seem to conserve their youth and to be all the more
children, and perhaps especially all the more intensely adolescents,
because of their gifts, and it is certainly one of the marks of genius
that the plasticity and spontaneity of adolescence persists into
maturity. Sometimes even its passions, reveries, and hoydenish freaks
continue. In her "Histoire de Ma Vie," it is plain that George Sand
inherited at this age an unusual dower of gifts. She composed many and
interminable stories, carried on day after day, so that her confidants
tried to tease her by asking if the prince had got out of the forest
yet, etc. She personated an echo and conversed with it. Her day-dreams
and plays were so intense that she often came back from the world of
imagination to reality with a shock. She spun a weird zoological
romance out of a rustic legend of la grande bête.
When her aunt sent her to a convent, she passed a year of rebellion
and revolt, and was the leader of les diables, or those who refused
to be devout, and engaged in all wild pranks. At fifteen she became
profoundly interested in the lives of the saints, although ridiculing
miracles. She entered one evening the convent church for service,
without permission, which was an act of disobedience. The mystery and
holy charm of it penetrated her; she forgot everything outward and was
left alone, and some mysterious change stole over her. She "breathed
an atmosphere of ineffable sweetness" more with the mind than the
senses; had a sudden indescribable perturbation; her eyes swam; she
was enveloped in a white glimmer, and heard a voice murmur the words
written under a convent picture of St. Augustine, Tolle, lege, and
turned around thinking Mother Alicia spoke, but she was alone. She
knew it was an hallucination, but saw that faith had laid hold of her,
as she wished, by the heart, and she sobbed and prayed to the unknown
God till a nun heard her groaning. At first her ardor impelled her not
only to brave the jeers of her madcap club of harum-scarums and
tomboys, but she planned to become a nun, until this feverish longing
for a recluse life passed, but left her changed.[21]
When she passed from the simple and Catholic faith of her grisette
mother to the atmosphere of her cynical grandmother at Nohant, who was
a disciple of Voltaire, she found herself in great straits between the
profound sentiments inspired by the first communion and the concurrent
contempt for this faith, instilled by her grandmother for all those
mummeries through which, however, for conventional reasons she was
obliged to pass. Her heart was deeply stirred, and yet her head
holding all religion to be fiction or metaphor, it occurred to her to
invent a story which might be a religion or a religion which might be
a story into any degree of belief in which she could lapse at will.
The name and the form of her new deity was revealed to her in a dream.
He was Corambé, pure as Jesus, beautiful as Gabriel, as graceful as
the nymphs and Orpheus, less austere than the Christian God, and as
much woman as man, because she could best understand this sex from her
love for her mother. He appeared in many aspects of physical and moral
beauty; was eloquent, master of all arts, and above all of the magic
of musical improvisation; loved as a friend and sister, and at the
same time revered as a god; not awful and remote from impeccability,
but with the fault of excess of indulgence. She estimated that she
composed about a thousand sacred books or songs developing phases of
his mundane existence. In each of these he became incarnate man on
touching the earth, always in a new group of people who were good, yet
suffering martyrdoms from the wicked known only by the effects of
their malice. In this "gentle hallucination" she could lose herself in
the midst of friends, and turn to her hero deity for comfort. There
must be not only sacred books, but a temple and ritual, and in a
garden thicket, which no eye could penetrate, in a moss-carpeted
chamber she built an altar against a tree-trunk, ornamented with a
wreath hung over it. Instead of sacrificing, which seemed barbaric,
she proceeded to restore life and liberty to butterflies, lizards,
green frogs, and birds, which she put in a box, laid on the altar, and
"after having invoked the good genius of liberty and protection,"
opened it. In these mimic rites and delicious reveries she found the
germs of a religion that fitted her heart. From the instant, however,
that a boy playmate discovered and entered this sanctuary, "Corambé
ceased to dwell in it. The dryads and the cherubim deserted it," and
it seemed unreal. The temple was destroyed with great care, and the
garlands and shells were buried under the tree.[22]
Louisa Alcott's romantic period opened at fifteen, when she began to
write poetry, keep a heart journal, and wander by moonlight, and
wished to be the Bettine of Emerson, in whose library she foraged;
wrote him letters which were never sent; sat in a tall tree at
midnight; left wild flowers on the doorstep of her master; sang
Mignon's song under his window; and was refined by her choice of an
idol. Her diary was all about herself.
If she looked in the glass at her long hair and well-shaped head, she
tried to keep down her vanity; her quick tongue, moodiness, poverty,
impossible longings, made every day a battle until she hardly wished
to live, only something must be done, and waiting is so hard. She
imagined her mind a room in confusion which must be put in order; the
useless thought swept out; foolish fancies dusted away; newly
furnished with good resolutions. But she was not a good housekeeper;
cobwebs got in, and it was hard to rule. She was smitten with a mania
for the stage, and spent most of her leisure in writing and acting
plays of melodramatic style ad high-strung sentiment, improbable
incidents, with no touch of common life or sense of humor, full of
concealments and surprises, bright dialogues, and lofty sentiments.
She had much dramatic power and loved to transform herself into Hamlet
and declaim in mock heroic style. From sixteen to twenty-three was her
apprenticeship to life. She taught, wrote for the papers, did
housework for pay as a servant, and found sewing a pleasant resource
because it was tranquillizing, left her free, and set her thoughts
going.
Mrs. Burnett,[23] like most women who record their childhood and
adolescent memories, is far more subjective and interesting than most
men. In early adolescence she was never alone when with flowers, but
loved to "speak to them, to bend down and say caressing things, to
stoop and kiss them, to praise them for their pretty ways of looking
up at her as into the eyes of a friend and beloved. There were certain
little blue violets which always seemed to lift their small faces
childishly, as if they were saying, 'Kiss me; don't go by like that.'"
She would sit on the porch, elbows on knees and chin on hands, staring
upward, sometimes lying on the grass. Heaven was so high and yet she
was a part of it and was something even among the stars. It was a
weird, updrawn, overwhelming feeling as she stared so fixedly and
intently that the earth seemed gone, left far behind. Every hour and
moment was a wonderful and beautiful thing. She felt on speaking terms
with the rabbits. Something was happening in the leaves which waved
and rustled as she passed. Just to walk, sit, lie around out of doors,
to loiter, gaze, watch with a heart fresh as a young dryad, following
birds, playing hide-and-seek with the brook-these were her halcyon
hours.
With the instability of genius, Beth[24] did everything suddenly. When
twelve or thirteen, she had grown too big to be carried, pulled or
pushed; she suddenly stood still one day, when her mother, commanded
her to dress. She had been ruled before by physical force, but her
will and that of her mother were now in collision, and the latter
realised she could make her do nothing unless by persuasion or moral
influence. Being constantly reproved, scolded, and even beaten by her
mother, Beth one day impulsively jumped into the sea, and was rescued
with difficulty. She had spells of being miserable with no cause. She
was well and happy, but would burst into tears suddenly, which seemed
often to surprise her. Being very sensitive herself, she was morbidly
careful of the feelings of others and incessantly committed grave sins
of insincerity without compunction in her effort to spare them. To
those who confided in her abilities, praised her, and thought she
could do things, her nature expanded, but her mother checked her
mental growth over and over, instead of helping her by saying, "Don't
try, you can't do it," etc.
Just before the dawn of adolescence she had passed through a long
period of abject superstition, largely through the influence of a
servant. All the old woman's signs were very dominant in her life. She
even invented methods of divination, as, "if the boards do not creak
when I walk across the room I shall get through my lessons without
trouble." She always preferred to see two rooks together to one and
became expert in the black arts. She used to hear strange noises at
night for a time, which seemed signs and portents of disaster at sea,
fell into the ways of her neighbors, and had more faith in
incantations than in doctors' doses. She not only heard voices and
very ingeniously described them, but claimed to know what was going to
happen and compared her forebodings with the maid. She "got religion"
very intensely under the influence of her aunt, grew thin, lost her
appetite and sleep, had heartache to think of her friends burning in
hell, and tried to save them.
Beth never thought at all of her personal appearance until she
overheard a gentleman call her rather nice-looking, when her face
flushed and she had a new feeling of surprise and pleasure, and took
very clever ways of cross-examining her friends to find if she was
handsome. All of a sudden the care of her person became of great
importance, and every hint she had heard of was acted on. She aired
her bed, brushed her hair glossy, pinched her waist and feet, washed
in buttermilk, used a parasol, tortured her natural appetite in every
way, put on gloves to do dirty work, etc.
The house always irked her. Once stealing out of the school by night,
she was free, stretched herself, drew a long breath, bounded and waved
her arms in an ecstasy of liberty, danced around the magnolia, buried
her face in the big flowers one after another and bathed it in the dew
of the petals, visited every forbidden place, was particularly
attracted to the water, enjoyed scratching and making her feet bleed
and eating a lot of green fruit. This liberty was most precious and
all through a hot summer she kept herself healthy by exercise in the
moonlight. This revived her appetite, and she ended these night
excursions by a forage in the kitchen. Beth had times when she
hungered for solitude and for nature. Sometimes she would shut herself
in her room, but more often would rove the fields and woods in
ecstasy. Coming home from school, where she had long been, she had to
greet the trees and fields almost before she did her parents. She had
a great habit of stealing out often by the most dangerous routes over
roofs, etc., at night in the moonlight, running and jumping, waving
her arms, throwing herself on the ground, rolling over, walling on
all-fours, turning somersaults, hugging trees, playing hide-and-seek
with the shadow fairy-folk, now playing and feeling fear and running
away. She invoked trees, stars, etc.
Beth's first love affair was with a bright, fair-haired, fat-faced
boy, who sat near her pew Sundays. They looked at each other once
during service, and she felt a glad glow in her chest spread over her,
dwelt on his image, smiled, and even the next day felt a new desire to
please. She watched for him to pass from school. When he appeared,
"had a most delightful thrill shoot through her." The first impulse to
fly was conquered; she never thought a boy beautiful before. They
often met after dark, wrote; finally she grew tired of him because she
could not make him feel deeply, sent him off, called him an idiot, and
then soliloquized on the "most dreadful grief of her life." The latter
stages of their acquaintance she occasionally used to beat him, but
his attraction steadily waned. Once later, as she was suffering from a
dull, irresolute feeling due to want of a companion and an object, she
met a boy of seventeen, whose face, like her own, brightened as they
approached. It was the first appearance of nature's mandate to mate.
This friendly glance suffused her whole being with the "glory and
vision of love." Religion and young men were her need. They had stolen
interviews by night and many an innocent embrace and kiss, and almost
died once by being caught. They planned in detail what they would do
after they were married, but all was taken for granted without formal
vows. Only when criticized did they ever dream of caution and
concealment, and then they made elaborate parades of ignoring each
other in public and fired their imaginations with thoughts of
disguises, masks, etc. This passion was nipped in the bud by the boy's
removal from his school.
In preparing for her first communion, an anonymous writer[25] became
sober and studious, proposing to model her life on that of each fresh
saint and to spend a week in retreat examining her conscience with
vengeance. She wanted to revive the custom of public confession and
wrote letters of penitence and submission, which she tore up later,
finding her mind not "all of a piece." She lay prostrate on her
prie-dieu weeping from ecstasy, lying on the rim of heaven held by
angels, wanting to die, now bathed in bliss or aching intolerably with
spiritual joy, but she was only twelve and her old nature often
reasserted itself. Religion at that time became an intense emotion
nourished on incense, music, tapers, and a feeling of being tangible.
It was rapturous and sensuous. While under its spell, she seemed to
float and touch the wings of angels. Here solemn Gregorian chants are
sung, so that when one comes back to earth there is a sense of hunger,
deception, and self-loathing. Now she came to understand how so many
sentimental and virtuous souls sought oblivion in the narcotic of
religious excitement. Here, at the age of twelve, youth began and
childhood ended with her book.
Pathetic is the account of Helen Keller's effort to understand the
meaning of the word "love" in its season.[26]
Is it the sweetness of flowers? she asked. No, said her teacher. Is it
the warm sun? Not exactly. It can not be touched, "'but you feel the
sweetness that it pours into everything. Without love, you would not
be happy or want to play.' The beautiful truth burst upon my mind. I
felt that there were invisible lines stretched between my spirit and
the spirit of others." This period seems to have came gradually and
naturally to this wonderful child, whose life has been perhaps the
purest ever lived and one of the sweetest. None has ever loved every
aspect of nature accessible to her more passionately, or felt more
keenly the charm of nature or of beautiful sentiments. The unhappy
Frost King episode has been almost the only cloud upon her life, which
unfortunately came at about the dawn of this period, that is perhaps
better marked by the great expansion of mind which she experienced at
the World's Fair in Chicago in 1893, when she was thirteen. About this
time, too, her great ambition of going to college and enjoying all the
advantages that other girls did, which, considering her handicap, was
one of the greatest human resolutions, was strengthened and deepened.
The fresh, spontaneous, and exquisite reactions of this pellucid mind,
which felt that each individual could comprehend all the experiences
and emotions of the race and that chafed at every pedagogical and
technical obstacle between her soul and nature, and the great
monuments of literature, show that she has conserved to a remarkable
degree, which the world will wish may be permanent, the best impulses
of this golden age.
Marie Bashkirtseff,[27] who may be taken as one of the best types of
exaggerated adolescent confessionalists, was rich and of noble birth,
and began in 1873, at the age of twelve, to write a journal that
should be absolutely true and frank, with no pretense, affectation, or
concealment. The journal continues until her death, October, 1884, at
the age of twenty-three. It may be described as in some sense a
feminine counterpart of Rousseau's confessions, but is in some
respects a more precious psychological document than any other for the
elucidation of the adolescent ferment in an unusually vigorous and
gifted soul. Twice I have read it from cover to cover and with growing
interest.
At twelve she is passionately in love with a duke, whom she sometimes
saw pass, but who had no knowledge of her existence, and builds many
air castles about his throwing himself at her feet and of their life
together. She prays passionately to see him again, would dazzle him on
the stage, would lead a perfect life, develop her voice, and would be
an ideal wife. She agonizes before the glass on whether or not she is
pretty, and resolves to ask some young man, but prefers to think well
of herself even if it is an illusion; constantly modulates over into
passionate prayer to God to grant all her wishes; is oppressed with
despair; gay and melancholy by turn; believes in God because she
prayed Him for a set of croquet and to help her to learn English, both
of which He granted. At church some prayers and services seem directly
aimed at her; Paris now seems a frightful desert, and she has no
motive to avoid carelessness in her appearance. She has freaky and
very changeable ideas of arranging the things in her room. When she
hears of the duke's marriage she almost throws herself over a bridge,
prays God for pardon of her sins, and thinks all is ended; finds it
horrible to dissemble her feelings in public; goes through the torture
of altering her prayer about the duke. She is disgusted with common
people, harrowed by jealousy, envy, deceit and every hideous feeling,
yet feels herself frozen in the depth, and moving only on the surface.
When her voice improves she welcomes it with tears and feels an
all-powerful queen. The man she loves should never speak to another.
Her journal she resolves to make the most instructive book that ever
was or ever will be written. She esteems herself so great a treasure
that no one is worthy of her; pities those who think they can please
her; thinks herself a real divinity; prays to the moon to show her in
dreams her future husband, and quarrels with her photographs.
In some moods she feels herself beautiful, knows she shall succeed,
everything smiles upon her and she is absolutely happy and yet in the
next paragraph the fever of life at high pressure palls upon her and
things seem asleep and unreal. Her attempts to express her feelings
drive her to desperation because words are inadequate. She loves to
weep, gives up to despair to think of death, and finds everything
transcendently exquisite. She comes to despise men and wonder whether
the good are always stupid and the intelligent always false and
saturated with baseness, but on the whole believes that some time or
other she is destined to meet one true good and great man. Now she is
inflated with pride of her ancestry, her gifts, and would subordinate
everybody and everything; she would never speak a commonplace word,
and then again feels that her life has been a failure and she is
destined to be always waiting. She falls on her knees sobbing, praying
to God with outstretched hands as if He were in her room; almost vows
to make a pilgrimage to Jerusalem one-tenth of the way on foot; to
devote her money to good works; lacks the pleasures proper to her age;
wonders if she can ever love again. On throwing a bouquet from a
window into a crowd in the Corso a young man choked so beautifully a
workman who caught it that by that one act of strangling and snatching
the bouquet she fell in love. The young man calls and they see each
other often. Now she is clad from head to foot in an armor of cold
politeness, now vanity and now passion seem uppermost in their
meetings. She wonders if a certain amount of sin, like air, is
necessary to a man to sustain life. Finally they vow mutual love and
Pietro leaves, and she begins to fear that she has cherished illusions
or been insulted; is torments at things unsaid or of her spelling in
French. She coughs and for three days has a new idea that she is going
to die; prays and prostrates herself sixty times, one for each bead in
her rosary, touching the floor with her forehead every time; wonders
if God takes intentions into account; resolves to read the New
Testament, but can not find one and reads Dumas instead. In
novel-reading she imagines herself the heroine of every scene; sees
her lover and they plan their mode of life together and at last kiss
each other, but later she feels humiliated, chilled, doubts if it is
real love; studies the color of her lips to see if they have changed;
fears that she has compromised herself; has eye symptoms that make her
fear blindness. Once on reading the Testament she smiled and clasped
her hands, gazed upward, was no longer herself but in ecstasy; she
makes many programs for life; is haunted by the phrase "We live but
once"; wants to live a dozen lives in one, but feels that she does not
live one-fourth of a life; has several spells of solitary
illumination. At other times she wishes to be the center of a salon
and imagines herself to be so. She soars on poets' wings, but often
has hell in her heart; slowly love is vowed henceforth to be a word
without meaning to her. Although she suffers from ennui, she
realizes that women live only from sixteen to forty and cannot bear
the thought of losing a moment of her life; criticizes her mother;
scorns marriage and child-bearing, which any washerwoman can attain,
but pants for glory; now hates, now longs to see new faces; thinks of
disguising herself as a poor girl and going out to seek her fortunes;
thinks her mad vanity is her devil; that her ambitions are justified
by no results; hates moderation in anything, would have intense and
constant excitement or absolute repose; at fifteen abandons her idea
of the duke but wants an idol, and finally decides to live for fame;
studies her shoulders, hips, bust, to gauge her success in life; tries
target-shooting, hits every time and feels it to be fateful; at times
despises her mother because she is so easily influenced by her; meets
another man whose affection for her she thinks might be as reverent as
religion and who never profaned the purity of his life by a thought,
but finally drops him because the possible disappointment would be
unbearable; finds that the more unhappy any one is for love of us the
happier we are; wonders why she has weeping spells; wonders what love
that people talk so much about really is, and whether she is ever to
know. One night, at the age of seventeen, she has a fit of despair
which vents itself in moans until arising, she seizes the dining-room
clock, rushes out and throws it into the sea, when she becomes happy.
"Poor clock!"
At another time she fears she has used the word love lightly and
resolves to no longer invoke God's help, yet in the next line prays
Him to let her die as everything is against her, her thoughts are
incoherent, she hates herself and everything is contemptible; but she
wishes to die peacefully while some one is singing a beautiful air of
Verdi. Again she thinks of shaving her head to save the trouble of
arranging her hair; is crazed to think that every moment brings her
nearer death; to waste a moment of life is infamous, yet she can trust
no one; all the freshness of life is gone; few things affect her now;
she wonders how in the past she could have acted so foolishly and
reasoned so wisely; is proud that no advice in the world could ever
keep her from doing anything she wished. She thinks the journal of her
former years exaggerated and resolves to be moderate; wants to make
others feel as she feels; finds that the only cure for disenchantment
with life is devotion to work; fears her face is wearing an anxious
look instead of the confident expression which was its chief charm.
"Impossible" is a hideous, maddening word; to think of dying like a
dog as most people do and leaving nothing behind is a granite wall
against which she every instant dashes her head. If she loved a man,
every expression of admiration for anything, or anybody else in her
presence would be a profanation. Now she thinks the man she loves must
never know what it is to be in want of money and must purchase
everything he wishes; must weep to see a woman want for anything, and
find the door of no palace or club barred to him. Art becomes a great
shining light in her life of few pleasures and many griefs, yet she
dares hope for nothing.
At eighteen all her caprices are exhausted; she vows and prays in the
name of the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost for her wishes. She would like
to be a millionaire, get back her voice, obtain the prix de Rome
under the guise of a man and marry Napoleon IV. On winning a medal for
her pictures she does nothing but laugh, cry, and dream of greatness,
but the next day is scolded and grows discouraged. She has an immense
sense of growth and transformation, so that not a trace of her old
nature remains; feels that she has far too much of some things, and
far too little of others in her nature; sees defects in her mother's
character, whose pertinacity is like a disease; realizes that one of
her chief passions is to inspire rather than to feel love; that her
temper is profoundly affected by her dress; deplores that her family
expect her to achieve greatness rather than give her the stimulus of
expecting nothing; declares that she thanks a million thoughts for
every word that she writes; is disgusted with and sometimes absolutely
hates herself. At one time she coquets with Kant, and wonders if he is
right that all things exist only in the imagination; has a passion for
such "abracadabrante follies" that seem so learned and logical, but is
grieved to feel them to be false; longs to penetrate the intellectual
world, to see, learn, and know everything; admires Balzac because he
describes so frankly all that he has felt; loves Fleury, who has shown
her a wider horizon; still has spells of admiring her dazzling
complexion and deploring that she can not go out alone; feels that she
is losing her grip on art and also on God, who no longer hears her
prayers, and resolves to kill herself if she is not famous at thirty.
At nineteen, and even before, she has spells of feeling inefficient
cries, calls on God, feels exhausted; is almost stunned when she hears
that the young French prince about whom she has spun romances was
killed by the Kaffirs; feels herself growing serious and sensible;
despises death; realizes that God is not what she thought, but is
perhaps Nature and Life or is perhaps Chance; she thinks out possible
pictures she might paint; develops a Platonic friendship for her
professor; might marry an old man with twenty-seven millions, but
spurns the thought; finds herself growing deaf gradually, and at
nineteen finds three grey hairs; has awful remorse for days, when she
cannot work and so loses herself in novels and cigarettes; makes many
good resolutions and then commits some folly as if in a dream; has
spells of reviewing the past. When the doctor finds a serious lung
trouble and commands iodine, cod-liver oil, hot milk, and flannel, she
at first scorns death and refuses all, and is delighted at the terror
of her friends, but gradually does all that is necessary; feels
herself too precocious and doomed; deplores especially that
consumption will cost her her good looks; has fits of intense anger
alternating with tears; concludes that death is annihilation; realizes
the horrible thought that she has a skeleton within her that some time
or other will come out; reads the New Testament again and returns to
belief in miracle, and prayer to Jesus and the Virgin; distributes one
thousand francs to the poor; records the dreamy delusions that flow
through her brain at night and the strange sensations by day. Her eye
symptoms cause her to fear blindness again; she grows superstitious,
believing in signs and fortune-tellers; is strongly impelled to
embrace and make up with her mother; at times defies God and death;
sees a Spanish bull-fight and gets from it a general impression of
human cowardice, but has a strange intoxication with blood and would
like to thrust a lance into the neck of every one she meets; coquets a
great deal with the thought of marriage; takes up her art and paints a
few very successful pictures; tries to grapple with the terrible
question, "What is my unbiased opinion concerning myself?" pants
chiefly for fame. When the other lung is found diseased the diary
becomes sometimes more serious, sometimes more fevered; she is almost
racked to find some end in life; shall she marry, or paint? and at
last finds much consolation in the visits of Bastien-Lepage, who comes
to see her often while he is dying of some gastric trouble. She keeps
up occasional and often daily entries in her journal until eleven days
before her death, occurring in October, 1884, at the age of
twenty-three, and precipitated by a cold incurred while making an
open-air sketch.
The confessional outpourings of Mary MacLane[28] constitute a unique
and valuable adolescent document, despite the fact that it seems
throughout affected and written for effect; however, it well
illustrates a real type, although perhaps hardly possible save in this
country, and was inspired very likely by the preceding.
She announces at the outset that she is odd, a genius, an extreme
egotist; has no conscience; despises her father, "Jim MacLane of
selfish memory"; loves scrubbing the floor because it gives her
strength and grace of body, although her daily life is an "empty
damned weariness." She is a female Napoleon passionately desiring
fame; is both a philosopher and a coward; her heart is wooden;
although but nineteen, she feels forty; desires happiness even more
than fame, for an hour of which she would give up at once fame, money,
power, virtue, honor, truth, and genius to the devil, whose coming she
awaits. She discusses her portrait, which constitutes the
frontispiece; is glad of her good strong body, and still awaits in a
wild, frenzied impatience the coming of the devil to take her
sacrifice, and to whom she would dedicate her life. She loves but one
in all the world, an older "anemone" lady, once her teacher. She ran
not distinguish between right and wrong; love is the only thing real
which will some day bring joy, but it is agony to wait. "Oh, dame!
damn! damn! damn! every living thing in the world!—the universe be
damned!" herself included. She is "marvelously deep," but thanks the
good devil who has made her without conscience and virtue so that she
may take her happiness when it comes. Her soul seeks but blindly, for
nothing answers. How her happiness will seethe, quiver, writhe, shine,
dance, rush, surge, rage, blare, and wreak with love and light when it
comes!
The devil she thinks fascinating and strong, with a will of steel,
conventional clothes, whom she periodically falls in love with and
would marry, and would love to be tortured by him. She holds imaginary
conversations with him. If happiness does not come soon she will
commit suicide, and she finds rapture in the thought of death. In
Butte, Montana, where she lives, she wanders among the box rustlers,
the beer jerkers, biscuit shooters, and plunges out into the sand and
barrenness, but finds everything dumb. The six toothbrushes in the
bathroom make her wild and profane. She flirts with death at the top
of a dark, deep pit, and thinks out the stages of decomposition if she
yielded herself to Death, who would dearly love to have her. She
confesses herself a thief on several occasions, but comforts herself
because the stolen money was given to the poor. Sometimes her "very
good legs" carry her out into the country, where she has imaginary
love confabs with the devil, but the world is so empty, dreary, and
cold, and it is all so hard to bear when one is a woman and nineteen.
She has a litany from which she prays in recurrent phrases "Kind
devil, deliver me"—as, e.g., from musk, boys with curls, feminine
men, wobbly hips, red note-paper, codfish-balls, lisle-thread
stockings, the books of A.C. Gunter and Albert Ross, wax flowers, soft
old bachelors and widowers, nice young men, tin spoons, false teeth,
thin shoes, etc. She does not seem real to herself everything is a
blank. Though she doubts everything else, she will keep the one atom
of faith in love and the truth that is love and life in her heart.
When something shrieks within her, she feels that all her anguish is
for nothing and that she is a fool. She is exasperated that people
call her peculiar, but confesses that she loves admiration; she can
fascinate and charm company if she tries; imagines an admiration for
Messalina. She most desires to cultivate badness when there is lead in
the sky. "I would live about seven years of judicious badness, and
then death if you will." "I long to cultivate the of badness in me."
She describes the fascination of making and eating fudge; devotes a
chapter to describing how to eat an olive; discusses her figure. "In
the front of my shirt-waist there are nine cambric handkerchiefs
cunningly distributed." She discusses her foot, her beautiful hair,
her hips; describes each of the seventeen little engraved portraits of
Napoleon that she keeps, with each of which she falls in love; vows
she would give up even her marvelous genius far one dear, bright day
free from loneliness. When her skirts need sewing, she simply pins
them; this lasts longer, and had she mended them with needle and
thread she would have been sensible, which she hates. As she walks
over the sand one day she vows that she would like a man to come so be
that he was strong and a perfect villain and she would pray him to
lead her to what the world calls her ruin. Nothing is of consequence
to her except to be rid of unrest and pain. She would be positively
and not merely negatively wicked. To poison her soul would rouse her
mental power. "Oh, to know just once what it is to be loved!" "I know
that I am a genius more than any genius that has lived," yet she often
thinks herself a small vile creature for whom no one cares. The world
is ineffably dull, heaven has always fooled her, and she is starving
for love.
Ada Negri illustrates the other extreme of genuineness and is
desperately in earnest.[29] She began to teach school in a squalid,
dismal Italian village, and at eighteen to write the poetry that has
made her famous. She lived in a dim room back of a stable, up two
flights, where the windows were not glass but paper, and where she
seems to have been, like her mother, a mill head before she was a
teacher. She had never seen a theater, but had read of Duse with
enthusiasm; had never seen the sea, mountain, or even a hill, lake, or
large city, but she had read of them. After she began to write,
friends gave her two dream days in the city. Then she returned, put on
her wooden shoes, and began to teach her eighty children to spell. The
poetry she writes is from the heart of her own experience.
She craved "the kiss of genius and of light;" but the awful figure of
misfortune with its dagger stood by her bed at night. She writes:
"I have no name—my home a hovel damp;
I grew up from the mire;
Wretched and outcast folk my family,
And yet within me burns a flame of fire."
There is always a praying angel and an evil dwarf on either side. The
black abyss attracts her yet she is softened by a child's caress. She
laughs at the blackest calamities that threaten her, but weeps over
thin, wan children without bread. Her whole life goes into song. The
boy criminal on the street fascinates her and she would kiss him. She
writes of jealousy as a ghost of vengeance. If death comes, she fears
"that the haggard doctor will dissect my naked corpse," and pictures
herself dying on the operating-table like a stray dog and her
well-made body "disgraced by the lustful kiss of the too eager blade"
as, "with sinister smile untiring, they tear my bowels out and still
gloat over my sold corpse, go on to bare my bones, and veins at will,
wrench out my heart," probe vainly for the secrets of hunger and the
mystery of pain, until from her "dead breast gurgles a gasp of
malediction." Much of her verse is imprecation. "A crimson rain of
crying blood dripping from riddled chests" of those slain for liberty
falls, on her heart; the sultry factories where "monsters, of steel,
huge engines, snort all day," and where the pungent air poisons the
blood of the pale weaver girls; the fate of the mason who felt from a
high roof and struck the stone flagging, whose funeral she attends,
all inspire her to sing occasionally the songs of enfranchised labor.
Misery as a drear, toothless ghost visits her, as when gloomy pinions
had overspread her dying mother's bed, to wrench with sharp nails all
the hope from her breast with which she had defied it. A wretched old
man on the street inspires her to sing of what she imagines is his
happy though humble prime. There is the song of the pickaxe brandished
in revolution when mobs cry "Peace, labor bread," and in mines of
industry beneath the earth. She loves the "defeated" in whose house no
fire glows, who live in caves and dens, and writes of the mutilation
of a woman in the factory machinery. At eighteen years "a loom, two
handsome eyes that know no tears, a cotton dress, a love, belong to
me." She is inspired by a master of the forge beating a red-hot bar,
with his bare neck swelled. He is her demon, her God, and her pride in
him is ecstasy. She describes jealousy of two rival women, so intense
that they fight and bite, and the pure joy of a guileless,
intoxicating, life-begetting first kiss. She longs for infinite
stretches of hot, golden sand, over which she would gallop wildly on
her steed; anticipates an old age of cap and spectacles; revels in the
hurricane, and would rise in and fly and whirl with it adrift far out
in the immensity of space. She tells us, "Of genius and light I'm a
blithe, millionaire," and elsewhere she longs for the everlasting ice
of lofty mountains, the immortal silence of the Alps; sings of her
"sad twenty years," "how all, all goes when love is gone and spent."
She imagines herself springing into the water which closes over her,
while her naked soul, ghostly pale, whirls past through the lonely
dale. She imprecates the licentious world of crafty burghers,
coquettes, gamblers, well-fed millionaires, cursed geese and serpents
that make the cowardly vile world, and whom she would smite in the
face with her indignant verse. "Thou crawlest and I soar." She chants
the champions of the spade, hammer, pick, though they are ground and
bowed with toil, disfigured within, with furrowed brows. She pants for
war with outrage and with wrong; questions the abyss for its secret;
hears moans and flying shudders; and sees phantoms springing from
putrid tombs. The full moon is an old malicious spy, peeping
stealthily with evil eye. She is a bird caught in a cursed cage, and
prays some one to unlock the door and give her space and light, and
let her soar away in ecstasy and glory. Nothing less than infinite
space will satisfy her. Even the tempest, the demon, or a malevolent
spirit might bear her away on unbridled wings. In one poem she
apostrophizes Marie Bashkirtseff as warring with vast genius against
unknown powers, but who now is in her coffin among worms, her skull
grinning and showing its teeth. She would be possessed by her and
thrilled as by an electric current. A dwarf beggar wrings her heart
with pity, but she will not be overwhelmed. Though a daring peasant,
she will be free and sing out her pæan to the sun, though amid the
infernal glow of furnaces, forges, and the ringing noise of hammers
and wheels.
Literary men who record their experiences during this stage seem to
differ from women in several important respects. First, they write with
less abandon. I can recall no male MacLanes. A Bashkirtseff would be
less impossible, and a Negri with social reform in her heart is still
less so. But men are more prone to characterize their public
metamorphoses later in life, when they are a little paled, and perhaps
feel less need of confessionalism for that reason. It would, however, be
too hazardous to elaborate this distinction too far. Secondly and more
clearly, men tend to vent their ephebic calentures more in the field of
action. They would break the old moorings of home and strike out new
careers, or vent their souls in efforts and dreams of reconstructing the
political, industrial, or social world. Their impracticabilities are
more often in the field of practical life and remoter from their own
immediate surroundings. This is especially true in our practical
country, which so far lacks subjective characterizations of this age of
eminent literary merit, peculiarly intense as it is here. Thirdly, they
erupt in a greater variety of ways, and the many kinds of genius and
talent that now often take possession of their lives like fate are more
varied and individual. This affords many extreme contrasts, as, e.g.,
between Trollope's pity for, and Goethe's apotheosis of his youth;
Mill's loss of feeling, and Jefferies's unanalytic, passionate outbursts
of sentiment; the esthetic ritualism of Symonds, and the progressive
religious emancipation of Fielding Hall; the moral and religious
supersensitiveness of Oliphant, who was a reincarnation of medieval
monkhood, and the riotous storminess of Müller and Ebers; the
abnormalities and precocity of De Quincey, and the steady, healthful
growth of Patterson; the simultaneity of a fleshly and spiritual love in
Keller and Goethe, and the duality of Pater, with his great and
tyrannical intensification of sensation for nature and the sequent
mysticity and symbolism. In some it is fulminating but episodic, in
others gradual and lifelong like the advent of eternal spring. Fourth,
in their subjective states women outgrow less in their consciousness,
and men depart farther from their youth, in more manifold ways. Lastly,
in its religious aspects, the male struggles more with dogma, and his
enfranchisement from it is more intellectually belabored. Yet, despite
all these differences, the analogies between the sexes are probably yet
more numerous, more all-pervasive. All these biographic facts reveal
nothing not found in questionnaire returns from more ordinary youth,
so that for our purposes they are only the latter, writ large because
superior minds only utter what all more inwardly feel. The arrangement
by nationality which follows gives no yet adequate basis for inference
unless it be the above American peculiarity.
In his autobiography from 1785-1803, De Quincey[30] remembered feeling
that life was finished and blighted for him at the age of six, up to
which time the influence of his sister three years older had brooded
over him.
His first remembrance, however, is of a dream of terrific grandeur
before he was two, which seemed to indicate that his dream tendencies
were constitutional and not due to morphine, but the chill was upon
the first glimpse that this was a world of evil. He had been brought
up in great seclusion from all knowledge of poverty and oppression in
a silent garden with three sisters, but the rumor that a female
servant had treated one of them rudely just before her death plunged
him into early pessimism. He felt that little Jane would come back
certainly in the spring with the roses, and he was glad that his utter
misery with the blank anarchy confusion which her death brought could
not be completely remembered. He stole into the chamber where her
corpse lay, and as he stood, a solemn wind, the saddest he ever heard,
that might have swept the fields of mortality for a thousand
centuries, blew, and that same hollow Memnonian wind he often had
heard since, and it brought back the open summer window and the
corpse. A vault above opened into the sky, and he slept and dreamed
there, standing by her, he knew not how long; a worm that could not
die was at his heart, for this was the holy love between children that
could not perish. The funeral was full of darkness and despair for
him, and after it he sought solitude, gazed into the heavens to see
his sister till he was tired, and realized that he was alone. Thus,
before the end of his sixth year, with a mind already adolescent,
although with a retarded body, the minor tone of life became dominant
and his awakening to it was hard.
As a penniless schoolboy wandering the streets of London at night, he
was on familiar and friendly terms of innocent relationship with a
number of outcast women. In his misery they were to him simply sisters
in calamity, but he found in them humanity, disinterested generosity,
courage, and fidelity. One night, after he had walked the streets for
weeks with one of these friendless girls who had not completed her
sixteenth year, as they sat on the steps of a house, he grew very ill,
and had she not rushed to buy from her slender purse cordials and
tenderly ministered to and revived him, he would have died. Many years
later he used to wander past this house, and he recalled with real
tenderness this youthful friendship; he longed again to meet the
"noble-minded Ann ——" with whom he had so often conversed familiarly
"more Socratico," whose betrayer he had vainly sought to punish, and
yearned to hear from her in order to convey to her some authentic
message of gratitude, peace, and forgiveness.
His much older brother came home in his thirty-ninth year to die. He
had been unmanageable in youth and his genius for mischief was an
inspiration, yet he was hostile to everything pusillanimous, haughty,
aspiring, ready to fasten a quarrel on his shadow for running before,
at first inclined to reduce his boy brother to a fag, but finally
before his death became a great influence in his life. Prominent were
the fights between De Quincey and another older brother on the one
hand, and the factory crowd of boys on the other, a fight incessantly
renewed at the close of factory hours, with victory now on one and now
on the other side; fought with stones and sticks, where thrice he was
taken prisoner, where once one of the factory women kissed him, to the
great delight of his heart. He finally invented a kingdom like Hartley
Coleridge, called Gom Broon. He thought first that it had no location,
but finally because his brother's imaginary realm was north and he
wanted wide water between them, his was in the far south. It was only
two hundred and seventy miles in circuit, and he was stunned to be
told by his brother one day that his own domain swept south for eighty
degrees, so that the distance he had relied on vanished. Here,
however, he continued to rule for well or ill, raising taxes, keeping
an imaginary standing army, fishing herring and selling the product of
his fishery for manure, and experiencing how "uneasy lies the head
that wears a crown." He worried over his obligations to Gom Broon, and
the shadow froze into reality, and although his brother's kingdom
Tigrosylvania was larger, his was distinguished for eminent men and a
history not to be ashamed of. A friend had read Lord Monboddo's view
that men had sprung from apes, and suggested that the inhabitants of
Gom Broon had tails, so that the brother told him that his subjects
had not emerged from apedom and he must invent arts to eliminate the
tails. They must be made to sit down for six hours a day as a
beginning. Abdicate he would not, though all his subjects had three
tails apiece. They had suffered together. Vain was his brother's
suggestion that they have a Roman toga to conceal their ignominious
appendages. He was greatly interested in two scrofulous idiots, who
finally died, and feared that his subjects were akin to them.
John Stuart Mill's Autobiography presents one of the most remarkable
modifications of the later phases of adolescent experience. No boy
ever had more diligent and earnest training than his father gave him
or responded better. He can not remember when he began to learn Greek,
but was told that it was at the age of three. The list of classical
authors alone that he read in the original, to say nothing of history,
political, scientific, logical, and other works before he was twelve,
is perhaps unprecedented in all history. He associated with his father
and all his many friends on their own level, but modestly ascribes
everything to his environment, insists that in natural gifts he is
other below than above par, and declares that everything he did could
be done by every boy of average capacity and healthy physical
constitution. His father made the Greek virtue of temperance or
moderation cardinal, and thought human life "a poor thing at best
after the freshness of youth and unsatisfied curiosity had gone by."
He scorned "the intense" and had only contempt for strong emotion.
In his teens Mill was an able debater and writer for the quarterlies,
and devoted to the propagation of the theories of Bentham, Ricardo,
and associationism. From the age of fifteen he had an object in life,
viz., to reform the world. This gave him happiness, deep, permanent,
and assured for the future, and the idea of struggling to promote
utilitarianism seemed an inspiring program for life. But in the autumn
of 1826, when he was twenty years of age, he felt into "a dull state
of nerves," where he could no longer enjoy and what had produced
pleasure seemed insipid; "the state, I should think, in which converts
to Methodism usually are when smitten by their first 'conviction of
sin.' In this frame of mind it occurred to me to put the question
directly to myself; 'Suppose that all your objects in life were
realized; that all the changes in institutions and opinions which you
are looking forward to could be completely effected at this very
instant; would this be a great joy and happiness to you?' And an
irrepressible self-consciousness distinctly answered, 'No.' At this my
heart sank within me: the whole foundation on which my life was
constructed fell down. All my happiness was to have been found in the
continual pursuit of this end. The end had ceased to charm, and how
could there ever again be any interest in the means? I seemed to have
nothing left to live for. At first I hoped that the cloud would pass
away of itself, but it did not. A night's sleep, the sovereign remedy
for the smaller vexations of life, had no effect on it. I awoke to a
renewed consciousness of the woful fact. I carried it with me into all
companies, into all occupations. Hardly anything had power to cause me
even a few minutes' oblivion of it. For some months the cloud seemed
to grow thicker and thicker. The lines in Coleridge's 'Dejection'—I
was not then acquainted with them—exactly described my case:
"'A grief without a pang, void, dark, and drear,
A drowsy, stifled, unimpassioned grief,
Which finds no natural outlet or relief
In word, or sigh, or tear.'
"In vain I sought relief from my favorite books, those memorials of
past nobleness and greatness from which I had always hitherto drawn
strength and animation. I read them now without feeling, or with the
accustomed feeling minus all its charm; and I became persuaded that my
love of mankind, and of excellence for its own sake, had worn itself
out. I sought no comfort by speaking to others of what I felt. If I
had loved any one sufficiently to make confiding my griefs a
necessity, I should not have been in the condition I was. I felt, too,
that mine was not an interesting or in anyway respectable distress.
There was nothing in it to attract sympathy. Advice, if I had known
where to seek it, would have been most precious. The words of Macbeth
to the physician often occurred to my thoughts. But there was no one
on whom I could build the faintest hope of such assistance. My father,
to whom it would have been natural to me to have recourse in any
practical difficulties, was the last person to whom, in such a case as
this, I looked for help. Everything convinced me that he had no
knowledge of any such mental state as I was suffering from, and that
even if he could be made to understand it, he was not the physician
who could heal it. My education, which was wholly his work, had been
conducted without any regard to the possibility of its ending in this
result, and I saw no use in giving him the pain of thinking that his
plans had failed, when the failure was probably irremediable, and, at
all event, beyond the power of his remedies. Of other friends, I had
at that time none to whom I had any hope of making my condition
intelligible. It was, however, abundantly intelligible to myself, and
the more I dwelt upon it the more hopeless it appeared."
He now saw what had hitherto seemed incredible, that the habit of
analysis tends to wear away the feelings. He felt "stranded at the
commencement of my voyage, with a well-equipped ship and a rudder, but
no sail; without any real desire for the ends which I had been so
carefully fitted out to work for: no delight in virtue, or the general
good, but also just as little in anything else. The fountains of
vanity and ambition seemed to have dried up within me as completely as
those of benevolence." His vanity had been gratified at too early an
age, and, like all premature pleasures, they had caused indifference,
until he despaired of creating any fresh association of pleasure with
any objects of human dire. Meanwhile, dejected and melancholy as he
was through the winter, he went on mechanically with his tasks;
thought he found in Coleridge the first description of what he was
feeling; feared the idiosyncrasies of his education had made him a
being unique and apart. "I asked myself if I could or if I was bound
to go on living, when life must be passed in this manner. I generally
answered to myself that I did not think I could possibly bear it
beyond a year." But within about half that time, in reading a pathetic
page of how a mere boy felt that he could save his family and take the
place of all they had lost, a vivid conception of the scene came over
him and he was moved to tears. From that moment, his burden grew
lighter. He saw that his heart was not dead and that he still had some
stuff left of which character and happiness are made; and although
there were several later lapses, some of which lasted many months, he
was never again as miserable as he had been.
These experience left him changed in two respects. He had a new theory
of life, having much in common with the anti-consciousness theory of
Carlyle. He still held happiness the end of life, but thought it must
be aimed at indirectly and taken incidentally. The other change was
that for the first time he gave its proper place to internal culture
of the individual, especially the training of the feelings which
became now cardinal. He relished and felt the power of poetry and art;
was profoundly moved by music; fell in love with Wordsworth and with
nature, and his later depressions were best relieved by the power of
rural beauty, which wrought its charm not because of itself but by the
states and feelings it aroused. His ode on the intimations of
immortality showed that he also had felt that the first freshness of
youthful joy was not lasting, and had sought and found compensation.
He had thus come to a very different standpoint from that of his
father, who had up to this time formed his mind and life, and
developed on this basis his unique individuality.
Jefferies, when eighteen, began his "Story of My Heart,"[31] which he
said was an absolutely true confession of the stages of emotion in a
soul from which all traces of tradition and learning were erased, and
which stood face to face with nature and the unknown.
His heart long seemed dusty and parched for want of feeling, and he
frequented a hill, where the pores of his soul opened to a new air.
"Lying down on the grass, I spoke in my soul to the earth, the sun,
the air and the distant sea…. I desired to have its strength, its
mystery and glory. I addressed the sun, desiring the sole equivalent
of his light and brilliance, his endurance, and unwearied race. I
turned to the blue heaven over, gazing into its depth, inhaling its
exquisite color and sweetness. The rich blue of the unobtainable
flower of the sky drew my soul toward it, and there it rested, for
pure color is the rest of the heart. By all these I prayed. I felt an
emotion of the soul beyond all definition; prayer is a puny thing to
it." He prayed by the thyme; by the earth; the flowers which he
touched; the dust which he let fall through his fingers; was filled
with "a rapture, an ecstasy, an inflatus. With this inflatus I
prayed…. I hid my face in the grass; I was wholly prostrated; I lost
myself in the wrestle…. I see now that what I labored for was soul
life, more soul learning." After gazing upward he would turn his face
into the grass, shutting out everything with hands each side, till he
felt down into the earth and was absorbed in it, whispering deep down
to its center. Every natural impression, trees, insects, air, clouds,
he used for prayer, "that my soul might be more than the cosmos of
life." His "Lyra" prayer was to live a more exalted and intense soul
life; enjoy more bodily pleasure and live long and find power to
execute his designs. He often tried, but failed for years to write at
least a meager account of these experiences. He felt himself immortal
just as he felt beauty. He was in eternity already; the supernatural
is only the natural misnamed. As he lay face down on the grass,
seizing it with both hands, he longed for death, to be burned on a
pyre of pine wood on a high hill, to have his ashes scattered wide and
broadcast, to be thrown into the space he longed for while living, but
he feared that such a luxury of resolution into the elements would be
too costly. Thus his naked mind, close against naked mother Nature,
wrested from her the conviction of soul, immortality, deity, under
conditions as primitive as those of the cave man, and his most
repeated prayer was "Give me the deepest soul life."
In other moods he felt the world outré-human, and his mind could by no
twist be fitted to the cosmos. Ugly, designless creatures caused him
to cease to look for deity in nature, where all happens by chance. He
at length concluded there is something higher than soul and above
deity, and better than God, for which he searched and labored. He
found favorite thinking places, to which he made pilgrimages, where he
"felt out into the depths of the ether." His frame could not bear the
labor his heart demanded. Work of body was his meat and drink. "Never
have I had enough of it. I wearied long before I was satisfied, and
weariness did not bring a cessation of desire, the thirst was still
there. I rode; I used the ax; I split tree-trunks with wedges; my arms
tired, but my spirit remained fresh and chafed against the physical
weariness." Had he been indefinitely stronger, he would have longed
for more strength. He was often out of doors all day and often half
the night; wanted more sunshine; wished the day was sixty hours long;
took pleasure in braving the cold so that it should be not life's
destroyer but its renewer. Yet he abhorred asceticism. He wrestled
with the problem of the origin of his soul and destiny, but could find
no solution; revolted at the assertion that all is designed for the
best; "a man of intellect and humanity could cause everything to
happen in an infinitely superior manner." He discovered that no one
ever died of old age, but only of disease; that we do not even know
what old age would be like; found that his soul is infinite, but lies
in abeyance; that we are murdered by our ancestors and must roll back
the tide of death; that a hundredth part of man's labor would suffice
for his support; that idleness is no evil; that in the future
nine-tenths of the time will be leisure, and to that end he will work
with all his heart. "I was not more than eighteen when an inner and
esoteric meaning began to come to me from all the visible universe,
and indefinable aspirations filled me."
Interesting as is this document, it is impossible to avoid the
suspicion that the seventeen years which intervened between the
beginning of these experiences and their final record, coupled with
the perhaps unconscious tendency toward literary effect, detract more
or less from their value as documents of adolescent nature.
Mr. H. Fielding Hall, author of "The Soul of a People," has since
written a book[32] in which, beginning with many definitions of
Christianity, weighing the opinion of those who think all our advance
is made because of, against those who think it in spite of
Christianity, he proceeds to give the story of a boy, probably
himself, who till twelve was almost entirely reared by women and with
children younger than himself.
He was sickly, and believed not in the Old but in the New Testament;
in the Sermon on the Mount, which he supposed all accepted and lived
by; that war and wealth were bad and learning apt to be a snare; that
the ideal life was that of a poor curate, working hard and unhappy. At
twelve, he went to a boarding-school, passed from a woman's world into
a man's, out of the New Testament into the Old, out of dreams into
reality. War was a glorious opportunity, and all followed the British
victories, which were announced publicly. Big boys were going to
Sandhurst or Woolwich; there were parties; and the school code never
turned the other cheek. Wars were God's storms, stirring stagnant
natures to new life; wealth was worshiped; certain lies were an honor;
knowledge was an extremely desirable thing—all this was at first new
and delightful, but extremely wicked. Sunday was the only other Old
Testament rule, but was then forgotten. Slowly a repugnance of
religion in all its forms arose. He felt his teachers hypocrites; he
raised no alarm, "for he was hardly conscious that his anchor had
dragged or that he had lost hold" of it forever. At eighteen, he read
Darwin and found that if he were right, Genesis was wrong; man had
risen, not fallen; if a part was wrong, the whole was. If God made the
world, the devil seemed to rule it; prayer can not influence him; the
seven days of creation were periods, Heaven knows how long. Why did
all profess and no one believe religion? Why is God so stern and yet
so partial, and how about the Trinity? Then explanations were given.
Heaven grew repulsive, as a place for the poor, the maimed, the
stupid, the childish, and those unfit for earth generally.
Faiths came from the East. "The North has originated only Thor, Odin,
Balder, Valkyres." The gloom and cold drive man into himself; do not
open him. In the East one can live in quiet solitude, with no effort,
close to nature. The representatives of all faiths wear ostentatiously
their badges, pray in public, and no one sneers at all religions.
Oriental faiths have no organization; there is no head of Hinduism,
Buddhism, or hardly of Mohammedanism. There are no missions, but
religion grows rankly from a rich soil, so the boy wrote three
demands: a reasonable theory of the universe, a workable and working
code of conduct, and a promise of something desirable hereafter. So he
read books and tried to make a system.
On a hill, in a thunder-storm in the East, he realized how Thor was
born. Man fears thunder; it seems the voice of a greater man. Deny
eyes, legs, and body of the Deity, and nothing is left. God as an
abstract spirit is unthinkable, but Buddhism offers us no God, only
law. Necessity, blind force, law, or a free personal will—that is the
alternative. Freedom limits omnipotence; the two can never mix. "The
German Emperor's God, clanking round the heavenly mansions wearing a
German Pickelhaube and swearing German oaths," is not satisfactory.
Man's God is what he admires most in himself; he can be propitiated,
hence atonement; you can not break a law, but you can study it.
Inquiry, not submission, is the attitude. Perhaps both destiny and
freedom are true, but truth is for the sake of light.
Thor had no moral code; the Greeks were unmoral. Jehovah at first
asked only fear, reverence, and worship. This gives no guide to life.
Most codes are directed against a foe and against pain. Truth, mercy,
courtesy—these were slowly added to reverence; then sanitary rules,
hence castes. Two codes, those of Christ and Buddha, tower above all
others. They are the same in praising not wealth, greatness, or power,
but purity, renunciation of the world, as if one fitted one's self for
one by being unfitted for the other world.
Is heaven a bribe? Its ideals are those of children, of girl angels,
white wings, floating dresses, no sheep, but lambs. "Surely there is
nothing in all the world so babyish." One can hardly imagine a man
with a deep voice, with the storm of life beating his soul, amid those
baby faces. If happiness in any act or attitude is perfect, it will
last forever. Where is due the weariness or satiety? But if happiness
be perfect, this is impossible; so life would be monotony akin to
annihilation. But life is change, and change is misery. There is
effort here; but there will be none in the great peace that passes
understanding; no defeat, therefore no victory; no friends, because no
enemies; no joyous meetings, because no farewells. It is the shadows
and the dark mysteries that sound the depths of our hearts. No man
that ever lived, if told that he could be young again or go to any
heaven, would choose the latter. Men die for many things, but all fear
the beyond. Thus no religion gives us an intelligible First Cause, a
code or a heaven that we want. The most religious man is the peasant
listening to the angelus, putting out a little ghi for his God; the
woman crying in the pagoda. Thus we can only turn to the hearts of men
for the truth of religion.
Biographies and autobiographies furnish many photographic glimpses of
the struggles and experiences of early adolescent years.
Anthony Trollope's autobiography[33] is pitiful. He was poor and
disliked by most of his masters and treated with ignominy by his
fellow pupils. He describes himself as always in disgrace. At fifteen
he walked three miles each way twice a day to and from school. As a
sizar he seemed a wretched farmer's boy, reeking from the dunghill,
sitting next the sons of big peers. All were against him, and he was
allowed to join no games, and learned, he tells us, absolutely nothing
but a little Greek and Latin. Once only, goaded to desperation, he
rallied and whipped a bully. The boy was never able to overcome the
isolation of his school position, and while he coveted popularity with
an eagerness which was almost mean, and longed exceedingly to excel in
cricket or with the racquet, was allowed to know nothing of them. He
remembers at nineteen never to have had a lesson in writing,
arithmetic, French, or German. He knew his masters by their ferules
and they him. He believes that he has "been flogged oftener than any
human being alive. It was just possible to obtain five scourgings in
one day at Winchester, and I have often boasted that I have obtained
them all." Prizes were distributed prodigally, but he never got one.
For twelve years of tuition, he says, "I do not remember that I ever
knew a lesson."
At this age he describes himself as "an idle, desolate, hanger on …
without an idea of a career or a profession or a trade," but he was
tolerably happy because he could fancy himself in love with pretty
girls and had been removed from the real misery of school, but had not
a single aspiration regarding his future. Three of his household were
dying of consumption, and his mother was day nurse, night nurse, and
divided her time between pill-boxes and the ink-bottle, for when she
was seventy-six she had written one hundred and forty volumes, the
first of which was not written till she was fifty.
Gradually the boy became alive to the blighted ambition of his
father's life and the strain his mother was enduring, nursing the
dying household and writing novels to provide a decent roof for them
to die under. Anthony got a position at the post-office without an
examination. He knew no French nor science; was a bad speller and
worse writer and could not have sustained an examination on any
subject. Still he could not bear idleness, and was always going about
with some castle in the air finely built in his mind, carrying on for
weeks and years the same continuous story; binding himself down to
certain laws, proprieties, and unities; always his own hero, excluding
everything violently improbable. To this practise, which he calls
dangerous and which began six or seven years before he went to the
post-office, he ascribes his power to maintain an interest in a
fictitious story and to live in a entirely outside imaginative life.
During these seven years he acquired a character of irregularity and
grew reckless.
Mark Pattison[34] shows us how his real life began in the middle
teens, when his energy was "directed to one end, to improve myself";
"to form my own mind; to sound things thoroughly; to be free from the
bondage of unreason and the traditional prejudices which, when I first
began to think, constituted the whole of my mental fabric." He entered
upon life with a "hide-bound and contracted intellect," and depicts
"something of the steps by which I emerged from that frozen
condition." He believes that to "remember the dreams and confusions of
childhood and never to lose the recollection of the curiosity and
simplicity of that age, is one of the great gifts of the poetic
character," although this, he tells us, was extraordinarily true of
George Sand, but not of himself. From the age of twelve on, a
Fellowship at Oriel was the ideal of his life, and although he became
a commoner there at seventeen, his chief marvel is that he was so
immature and unimpressionable.
William Hale White[35] learned little at school, save Latin and good
penmanship, but his very life was divided into halves—Sundays and
week days—and he reflects at some length upon the immense dangers of
the early teens; the physiological and yet subtler psychic penalties
of error; callousness to fine pleasures; hardening of the conscience;
and deplores the misery which a little instruction might have saved
him. At fourteen he underwent conversion, understood in his sect to be
a transforming miracle, releasing higher and imprisoning lower powers.
He compares it to the saving of a mind from vice by falling in love
with a woman who is adored, or the reclamation of a young woman from
idleness and vanity by motherhood. But as a boy he was convinced of
many things which were mere phrases, and attended prayer-meetings for
the clanship of being marked off from the world and of walking home
with certain girls. He learned to say in prayer that there was nothing
good in him, that he was rotten and filthy and his soul a mass of
putrefying sores; but no one took him at his word and expelled him
from society, but thought the better of him. Soon he began to study
theology, but found no help in suppressing tempestuous lust, in
understanding the Bible, or getting his doubts answered, and all the
lectures seemed irrelevant chattering. An infidel was a monster whom
he had rarely ever seen. At nineteen he began to preach, but his heart
was untouched till he read Wordsworth's lyrical ballads, and this
recreated a living God for him, melted his heart to tears, and made
him long for companionship; its effect was instantly seen in his
preaching, and soon made him slightly suspected as heretical.[36]
John Addington Symonds, in his autobiography, describes his
"insect-like" devotion to creed in the green infancy of ritualism. In
his early teens at boarding-school he and his mates, with half
sincerity, followed a classmate to compline, donned surplices, tossed
censers, arranged altars in their studies, bought bits of painted
glass for their windows and illuminated crucifixes with gold dust and
vermilion. When he was confirmed, this was somewhat of an epoch.
Preparation was like a plowshare, although it turned up nothing
valuable, and stimulated esthetic and emotional ardor. In a dim way he
felt God near, but he did not learn to fling the arms of the soul in
faith around the cross of Christ. Later the revelation he found in
Plato removed him farther from boyhood. He fell in love with gray
Gothic churches, painted glass, organ lofts, etc.
Walter Pater has described phases of ferment, perhaps largely his own,
in the character of Florian Deleal; his rapture of the red hawthorn
blossoms, "absolutely the reddest of all things"; his times of
"seemingly exclusive predominance of interest in beautiful physical
things, a kind of tyranny of the senses"; and his later absorbing
efforts to estimate the proportion of the sensuous and ideal,
assigning most importance to sensible vehicles and occasions;
associating all thoughts with touch and sight as a link between
himself and things, till he became more and more "unable to care for
or think of soul but as in an actual body"; comforted in the
contemplation of death by the thought of flesh turning to violets and
almost oppressed by the pressure of the sensible world, his longings
for beauty intensifying his fear of death. He loved to gaze on dead
faces in the Paris Morgue although the haunt of them made the sunshine
sickly for days, and his long fancy that they had not really gone nor
were quite motionless, but led a secret, half fugitive life, freer by
night, and perhaps dodging about in their old haunts with no great
good-will toward the living, made him by turns pity and hate the
ghosts who came back in the wind, beating at the doors. His religious
nature gradually yielded to a mystical belief in Bible personages in
some indefinite place as the reflexes and patterns of our nobler self,
whose companionship made the world more satisfying. There was "a
constant substitution of the typical for the actual," and angels might
be met anywhere. "A deep mysticity brooded over real things and
partings," marriages and many acts and accidents of life. "The very
colors of things became themselves weighty with meanings," or "full of
penitence and peace." "For a time he walked through the world in a
sustained, not unpleasurable awe generated by the habitual
recognition, beside every circumstance and event of life, of its
celestial correspondent."
In D. C. Boulger's Life of General Charles Gordon[37] he records how,
like Nelson Clive, his hero was prone to boys' escapades and outbreaks
that often made him the terror of his superiors. He was no bookworm,
but famous as the possessor of high spirits, very often involved in
affairs that necessitated discipline, and seemed greatly out of
harmony with the popular idea of the ascetic of Mount Carmel. As a
schoolboy he made wonderful squirts "that would wet you through in a
minute." One Sunday twenty-seven panes of glass in a large storehouse
were broken with screws shot through them by his cross-bow "for
ventilation." Ringing bells and pushing young boys in, butting an
unpopular officer severely in the stomach with his head and taking the
punishment, hitting a bully with a clothes-brush and being put back
six months in the Royal Military Academy at Woolwich; these are the
early outcrops of one side of his dual character. Although more
soldier than saint, he had a very cheery, genial side. He was always
ready to take even the severest punishment for all his scrapes due to
excessive high spirits. When one of his superiors declared that he
would never make an officer, he felt his honor touched, and his
vigorous and expressive reply was to tear the epaulets from his
shoulders and throw them at his superior's feet. He had already
developed some of the rather moody love of seclusion that was marked
later, but religion did not strike him deeply enough to bring him into
the church until he was twenty-one, when he took his first sacrament.
On one occasion he declined promotion within his reach because he
would have had to pass a friend to get it. He acted generally on his
impulses, which were perhaps better than his judgments, took great
pleasure in corresponding on religious topics with his elder sister,
and early formed the habit of excessive smoking which gravely affected
his health later. His was the rare combination of inner repose and
confidence, interrupted by spells of gaiety.
Williamson, in his "Life of Holman Hunt,"[38] tells us that at
thirteen he was removed from school as inapt in study. He began to
spend his time in drawing in his copybooks. He was made clerk to an
auctioneer, who fortunately encouraged his passion, and at sixteen was
with a calico printer. Here he amused himself by drawing flies on the
window, which his employer tried to brush off. There was the greatest
home opposition to his studying art. After being rejected twice, he
was admitted at seventeen to the Academy school as a probationer, and
the next year, in 1845, as a student. Here he met Millais and Rossetti
and was able to relieve the strain on his mind, which the worry of his
father concerning his course caused him, and very soon his career
began.
At thirteen Fitzjames Stephen[39] roused himself to thrash a big boy
who had long bullied him, and became a fighter. In his sixteenth year,
he grew nearly five inches, but was so shy and timid at Eton that he
says, "I was like a sensible grown-up woman among a crowd of rough
boys"; but in the reaction to the long abuse his mind was steeled
against oppression, tyranny, and every kind of unfairness. He read
Paine's "Age of Reason," and went "through the Bible as a man might go
through a wood, cutting down trees. The priests can stick them in
again, but they will not make them grow."
Dickens has given us some interesting adolescents. Miss Dingwall in
"Sketches by Boz," "very sentimental and romantic"; the tempery young
Nickleby, who, at nineteen, thrashed Squeers; Barnaby Rudge, idiotic
and very muscular; Joe Willet, persistently treated as a boy till he
ran away to join the army and married Dolly Varden, perhaps the most
exuberant, good-humored, and beautiful girl in all the Dickens
gallery; Martin Chuzzlewit, who also ran away, as did David
Copperfield, perhaps the most true to adolescence because largely
reminiscent of the author's own life; Steerforth, a stranger from
home, and his victim, Little Emily; and to some extent Sam Weller,
Dick Swiveller, the Marchioness, young Podsnap, the Artful Dodger, and
Charley Bates; while Oliver Twist, Little Nell, and Little Dorrit, Joe
and Turveydrop in Bleak House, and Paul Dombey, young as they were,
show the beginning of the pubescent change. Most of his characters,
however, are so overdrawn and caricatured as to be hardly true to
life.[40]
In the "Romance of John Inglesant,"[41] by J. H. Shorthouse, we have
a remarkable picture of an unusually gifted youth, who played an
important rôle in the days of Cromwell and King Charles, and who was
long poised in soul between the Church of Rome and the English party.
He was very susceptible to the fascination of superstition, romance,
and day-dreaming, and at eleven absorbed his master's Rosicrucian
theories of spiritual existence where spirits held converse with each
other and with mankind. A mystic Platonism, which taught that Pindar's
story of the Argo was only a recipe for the philosopher's stone,
fascinated him at fourteen. The philosophy of obedience and of the
subjection of reason to authority was early taught him, and he sought
to live from within, hearing only the divine law, as the worshipers of
Cybele heard only the flutes. His twin brother Eustace was an active
worldling, and soon he followed him to court as page to the Queen, but
delighted more and more in wandering apart and building air castles.
For a time he was entirely swayed, and his life directed, by a Jesuit
Father, who taught him the crucifix and the rosary. At sixteen the
doctrine of divine illumination fascinated him. He struggled to find
the path of true devotion; abandoned himself to extremely ritualistic
forms of worship; dabbled a little in alchemy and astrology to help
develop the divine nature within him and to attain the beatific
vision. Soon he was introduced to the "Protestant nunnery," as it was
called, where the venerable Mr. Ferran, a friend of George Herbert's,
was greatly taken by Inglesant's accomplishments and grace of manner.
Various forms of extremely High Church yet Protestant worship were
celebrated here each day with great devotion, until he became
disgusted with Puritanism and craved to participate in the office of
mass. At this point, however, he met Mr. Hobbes, whose rude but
forcible condemnation of papacy restrained him from casting his lot
with it. At seventeen, he saw one night a real apparition of the just
executed Strafford. The last act of his youth, which we can note here,
was soon after he was twenty, when he fell in love with the charming
and saintly Mary Collet. The rough Puritan Thorne had made her
proposals at which she revolted, but she and Inglesant confessed love
to each other; she saw, however, that they had a way of life marked
out for themselves by an inner impulse and light. This calling they
must follow and abandon love, and now John plunged into the war on the
side of the King.
W. J. Stillman[42] has written with unusual interest and candor the
story of his own early life.
As a boy he was frenzied at the first sight of the sea; caught the
whip and lashed the horses in an unconscious delirium, and always
remembered this as one of the most vivid experiences of his life. He
had a period of nature worship. His first trout was a delirium, and he
danced about wildly and furiously. He relates his very vivid
impressions of the religious orthodoxy in which he was reared,
especially revival sermons; his occasional falsehoods to escape severe
punishment; his baptism at ten or eleven in a river in midwinter; the
somberness of his intellectual life, which was long very apathetic;
his phenomenal stupidity for years; his sudden insurrections in which
he thrashed bullies at school; his fear that he should be sent home in
disgrace for bad scholarship; and how at last, after seven years of
dulness, at the age of fourteen, "the mental fog broke away suddenly,
and before the term ended I could construe the Latin in less time than
it took to recite it, and the demonstrations of Euclid were as plain
and clear as a fairy story. My memory came back so distinctly that I
could recite long poems after a single reading, and no member of the
class passed a more brilliant examination at the end of the term than
I; and, at the end of the second term, I could recite the whole of
Legendre's geometry, plane and spherical, from beginning to end
without a question, and the class examination was recorded as the most
remarkable which the academy had witnessed for many years. I have
never been able to conceive an explanation of this curious phenomenon,
which I record only as of possible interest to some one interested in
psychology."
A. Bronson Alcott[43] was the son of a Connecticut farmer. He began a
diary at twelve; aspired vainly to enter Yale, and after much
restlessness at the age of nineteen left home with two trunks for
Virginia to peddle on foot, hoping to teach school. Here he had a
varying and often very hard experience for years.
Hornes Bushnell's[44] parents represented the Episcopal and liberal
Congregational Church. His early life was spent on a farm and in
attending a country academy. He became profoundly interested in
religion in the early teens and developed extreme interest in nature.
At seventeen, while tending a carding machine, he wrote a paper on
Calvinism. At nineteen he united with the church, and entered Yale
when he was twenty-one, in 1823. Later he tried to teach school, but
left it, declaring he would rather lay stone wall; worked on a
journal, but withdrew, finding it a terrible life; studied law for a
year, became a tutor at Yale, experienced a reconversion and entered
the ministry.
A well-known American, who wishes his name withheld, writes me of his
youth as follows:
"First came the love of emotion and lurid romance reading. My mind was
full of adventure, dreams of underground passages, and imprisoned
beauties whom I rescued. I wrote a story in red ink, which I never
read, but a girl friend did, and called it magnificent. The girl
fever, too, made me idealize first one five years older than I, later
another three years older, and still later one of my own age. I would
have eaten dirt for each of them for a year or two; was extremely
gallant and the hero of many romances for two, but all the time so
bashful that I scarcely dared speak to one of them, and no schoolmate
ever suspected it all. Music also became a craze at fourteen. Before,
I had hated lessons, now I was thrilled and would be a musician,
despite my parents' protests. I practised the piano furiously; wrote
music and copied stacks of it; made a list of several hundred pieces
and tunes, including everything musical I knew; would imagine a
crowded hall, where I played and swayed with fine airs. The vast
assembly applauded and would not let me go, but all the time it was a
simple piece and I was a very ordinary player. At fifty years, this is
still a relic. I now in hours of fatigue pound the piano and dreamily
imagine dazed and enchanted audiences. Then came oratory, and I glowed
and thrilled in declaiming Webster's "Reply to Hayne," "Thanatopsis,"
Byron's "Darkness," Patrick Henry, and best of all "The Maniac," which
I spouted in a fervid way wearing a flaming red necktie. I remember a
fervid scene with myself on a high solitary hill with a bald summit
two miles from home, where I once went because I had been blamed. I
tried to sum myself up, inventory my good and bad points. It was
Sunday, and I was keyed up to a frenzy of resolve, prayer,
idealization of life; all grew all in a jumble. My resolve to go to
college was clinched then and there, and that hill will always remain
my Pisgah and Moriah, Horeb and Sinai all in one. I paced back and
forth in the wind and shouted, 'I will make people know and revere me;
I will do something'; and called everything to witness my vow that I
never again would visit this spot till all was fulfilled." "Alas!" he
says, "I have never been there since. Once, to a summer party who
went, I made excuse for not keeping this rendezvous. It was too
sacramental. Certainly it was a very deep and never-to-be-forgotten
experience there all alone, when something of great moment to me
certainly took place in my soul."
In the biography of Frederick Douglas[45] we are told that when he was
about thirteen he began to feel deeply the moral yoke of slavery and
to seek means of escaping it. He became interested in religion, was
converted, and dreamed of and prayed for liberty. With great ingenuity
he extracted knowledge of the alphabet and reading from white boys of
his acquaintance. At sixteen, under a brutal master he revolted and
was beaten until he was faint from loss of blood, and at seventeen he
fought and whipped the brutal overseer Covey, who would have invoked
the law, which made death the punishment for such an offense, but for
shame of having been worsted by a negro boy and from the reflection
that there was no profit from a dead slave. Only at twenty did he
escape into the new world of freedom.
Jacob Riis[46] "fell head over heels in love with sweet Elizabeth"
when he was fifteen and she thirteen. His "courtship proceeded at a
tumultuous pace, which first made the town laugh, then put it out of
patience and made some staid matrons express the desire to box my ears
soundly." She played among the lumber where he worked, and he watched
her so intently that he scarred his shinbone with an adze he should
have been minding. He cut off his forefinger with an ax when she was
dancing on a beam near by, and once fell off a roof when craning his
neck to see her go round a corner. At another time he ordered her
father off the dance-floor, because he tried to take his daughter home
a few minutes before the appointed hour of midnight. Young as he was,
he was large and tried to run away to join the army, but finally went
to Copenhagen to serve his apprenticeship with a builder, and here had
an interview with Hans Christian Andersen.
Ellery Sedgwick tells as that at thirteen the mind of Thomas Paine ran
on stories of the sea which his teacher had told him, and that he
attempted to enlist on the privateer Terrible. He was restless at
home for years, and shipped on a trading vessel at nineteen.
Indeed, modern literature in our tongue abounds in this element, from
"Childe Harold" to the second and third long chapters in Mrs. Ward's
"David Grieve," ending with his engagement to Lucy Purcell;
Thackeray's Arthur Pendennis and his characteristic love of the far
older and scheming Fanny Fotheringay; David in James Lane Allen's
"Reign of Law," who read Darwin, was expelled from the Bible College
and the church, and finally was engaged to Gabriella; and scores more
might be enumerated. There is even Sonny,[47] who, rude as he was and
poorly as he did in all his studies, at the same age when he began to
keep company, "tallered" his hair, tied a bow of ribbon to the buggy
whip, and grew interested in manners, passing things, putting on his
coat and taking off his hat at table, began to study his menagerie of
pet snakes, toads, lizards, wrote John Burroughs, helped him and got
help in return, took to observing, and finally wrote a book about the
forest and its occupants, all of which is very bien trouvé if not
historic truth.
Two singular reflections always rearise in reading Goethe's
autobiographical writings: first, that both the age and the place,
with its ceremonies, festivals, great pomp and stirring events in
close quarters in the little province where he lived, were especially
adapted to educate children and absorb them in externals; and, second,
that this wonderful boy had an extreme propensity for moralizing and
drawing lessons of practical service from all about him. This is no
less manifest in Wilhelm Meister's Apprenticeship and Travels, which
supplements the autobiography. Both together present a very unique
type of adolescence, the elaborate story of which defies epitome. From
the puppet craze well on into his precocious university life it was
his passion to explore the widest ranges of experience and then to
reflect, moralize, or poetize upon them. Perhaps no one ever studied
the nascent stages of his own life and elaborated their every incident
with such careful observation and analysis. His peculiar diathesis
enabled him to conserve their freshness on to full maturity, when he
gave them literary form. Most lack power to fully utilize their own
experience even for practical self-knowledge and guidance, but with
Goethe nothing was wasted from which self-culture could be extracted.
Goethe's first impression of female loveliness was of a girl named
Gretchen, who served wine one evening, and whose face and form
followed him for a long time. Their meetings always gave him a thrill
of pleasure, and though his love was like many first loves, very
spiritual and awakened by goodness and beauty, it gave a new
brightness to the whole world, and to be near her seemed to him an
indispensable condition of his being. Her fiancé was generally with
her, and Goethe experienced a shock in finding that she had become a
milliner's assistant for although, like all natural boys of
aristocratic families, he loved common people, this interest was not
favored by his parents. The night following the coronation day several
were compelled to spend in chairs, and he and his Gretchen, with
others, slept, she with her head upon his shoulder, until all the
others had awakened in the morning. At last they parted at her door,
and for the first and last time they kissed but never met again,
although he often wept in thinking of her. He was terribly affronted
to fully realize that, although only two years older than himself, she
should have regarded him as a child. He tried to strip her of all
loving qualities and think her odious, but her image hovered over him.
The sanity of instinct innate in youth prompted him to lay aside as
childish the foolish habit of weeping and railing, and his
mortification that she regarded him somewhat as a nurse might,
gradually helped to work his cure.
He was very fond of his own name, and, like young and uneducated
people, wrote or carved it anywhere; later placed near it that of a
new love, Annette, and afterward on finding the tree he shed tears,
melted toward her, and made an idyl. He was also seized with a passion
of teasing her and dominating over her devotedness with wanton and
tyrannical caprice, venting upon her the ill humor of his
disappointments, and grew absurdly jealous and lost her after she had
borne with him with incredible patience and after terrible scenes with
her by which he gained nothing. Frenzied by his loss, he began to
abuse his physical nature and was only saved from illness by the
healing power of his poetic talent; the "Lover's Caprice" was written
with the impetus of a boiling passion. In the midst of many serious
events, a reckless humor, which was due to the excess of life,
developed which made him feel himself superior to the moment, and even
to court danger. He played tricks, although rarely with premeditation.
Later he mused much upon the transient nature of love and the
mutability of character; the extent to which the senses could be
indulged within the bounds of morality; he sought to rid himself of
all that troubled him by writing song or epigram about it, which made
him seem frivolous and prompted one friend to seek to subdue him by
means of church forms, which he had severed on coming to Leipzig. By
degrees he felt an epoch approaching when all respect for authority
was to vanish, and he became suspicious and even despairing with
regard to the best individuals he had known before and grew chummy
with a young tutor whose jokes and fooleries were incessant. His
disposition fluctuated between gaiety and melancholy, and Rousseau
attracted him. Meanwhile his health declined until a long illness,
which began with a hemorrhage, caused him to oscillate for days
between life and death; and convalescence, generally so delightful,
was marred by a serious tumor. His father's disposition was stern, and
he could become passionate and bitter, and his mother's domesticity
made her turn to religion, so that on coming home he formed the
acquaintance of a religious circle. Again Goethe was told by a hostile
child that he was not the true son of his father. This inoculated him
with a disease that long lurked in his system and prompted various
indirect investigations to get at the truth, during which he compared
all distinguished guests with his own physiognomy to detect his own
likeness.
Up to the Leipzig period he had great joy in wandering unknown,
unconscious of self; but he soon began to torment himself with an
almost hypertrophied fancy that he was attracting much attention, that
others' eyes were turned on his person to fix it in their memories,
that he was scanned and found fault with; and hence he developed a
love of the country, of the woods and solitary places, where he could
be hedged in and separated from all the world. Here he began to throw
off his former habit of looking at things from the art standpoint and
to take pleasure in natural objects for their own sake. His mother had
almost grownup to consciousness in her two oldest children, and his
first disappointment in love turned his thought all the more
affectionately toward her and his sister, a year younger. He was long
consumed with amazement over the newly awakening sense impulse that
took intellectual forms and the mental needs that clothed themselves
in sense images. He fell to building air castles of opposition lecture
courses and gave himself up to many dreams of ideal university
conditions. He first attended lectures diligently, but suffered much
harm from being too advanced; learned a great deal that he could not
regulate, and was thereby made uncomfortable; grew interested in the
fit of his clothes, of which hitherto he had been careless. He was in
despair at the uncertainty of his own taste and judgment, and almost
feared he must make a complete change of mind, renouncing what he had
hitherto learned, and so one day in great contempt for his past burned
up his poetry, sketches, etc.
He had learned to value and love the Bible, and owed his moral culture
to it. Its events and symbols were deeply stamped upon him, so without
being a pietist he was greatly moved at the scoffing spirit toward it
which he met at the university. From youth he had stood on good terms
with God, and at times he had felt that he had some things to forgive
God for not having given better assistance to his infinite good-will.
Under all this influence he turned to cabalism and became interested
in crystals and the microcosm and macrocosm, and fell into the habit
of despair over what he had been and believed just before. He
conceived a kind of hermetical or neoplatonic godhead creating in more
and more eccentric circles, until the last, which rose in
contradiction, was Lucifer to whom creation was committed. He first of
all imagined in detail an angelic host, and finally a whole theology
was wrought out in petto. He used a gilt ornamented music-stand as a
kind of altar with fumigating pastils for incense, where each morning
God was approached by offerings until one day a conflagration put a
sudden end to these celebrations.
Hans Anderson,[48] the son of a poor shoemaker, taught in a charity
school at the dawn of puberty; vividly animated Bible stories from
pictures painted on the wall; was dreamy and absent-minded; told
continued stories to his mates; at confirmation vowed he would be
famous and finally, at fourteen, left home for Copenhagen, where he
was violently stage-struck and worked his way from friendship with the
bill-poster to the stage as page, shepherd, etc.; called on a famous
dancer, who scorned him, and then, feeling that he had no one but God
to depend on, prayed earnestly and often. For nearly a year, until his
voice broke, he was a fine singer. He wet with his tears the eyes of a
portrait of a heartless man that he might feel for him. He played with
a puppet theater and took a childish delight in decking the characters
with gay remnants that he begged from shops; wrote several plays which
no one would accept; stole into an empty theater one New Year's day to
pray aloud on the middle of the stage; shouted with joy; hugged and
kissed a beech-tree till people thought him insane; abhorred the
thought of apprenticeship to Latin as he did to that of a trade, which
was a constant danger; and was one of the most dreamy and sentimental,
and by spells religious and prayerful, of youth.
George Ebers[49] remembered as a boy of eleven the revolution of '48
in Berlin, soon after which he was placed in Froebel's school at
Keilhau. This great teacher with his noble associates, Middendorf,
Barop, and Langekhal, lived with the boys; told the stirring stories
of their own lives as soldiers in the war of liberation; led their
pupils on long excursions in vacation, often lasting for months, and
gave much liberty to the boys, who were allowed to haze not only their
new mates, but new teachers. This transfer from the city to the
country roused a veritable passion in the boy, who remained here till
he was fifteen. Trees and cliffs were climbed, collections made, the
Saale by moonlight and the lofty Steiger at sunset were explored.
There were swimming and skating and games, and the maxim of the
school, "Friede, Freude, Freiheit,"[Peace, joy, freedom] was lived up
to. The boys hung on their teachers for stories. The teachers took
their boys into their confidence for all their own literary aims,
loves, and ideals. One had seen the corpse of Körner and another knew
Prohaska. "The Roman postulate that knowledge should be imparted to
boys according to a thoroughly tested method approved by the mature
human intellect and which seems most useful to it for later life" was
the old system of sacrificing the interests of the child for those of
the man. Here childhood was to live itself out completely and
naturally into an ever renewed paradise. The temperaments,
dispositions, and characters of each of the sixty boys were carefully
studied and recorded. Some of these are still little masterpieces of
psychological penetration, and this was made the basis of development.
The extreme Teutonism cultivated by wrestling, shooting, and fencing,
giving each a spot of land to sow, reap, and shovel, and all in an
atmosphere of adult life, made an environment that fitted the
transition period as well as any that the history of education
affords. Every tramp and battle were described in a book by each boy.
When at fifteen Ebers was transferred to the Kottbus Gymnasium, he
felt like a colt led from green pastures to the stable, and the period
of effervescence made him almost possessed by a demon, so many sorts
of follies did he commit. He wrote "a poem of the world," fell in love
with an actress older than himself, became known as foolhardy for his
wild escapades, and only slowly sobered down.
In Gottfried Kelley's "Der grüne Heinrich,"[50] the author, whom R.M.
Meyer calls "the most eminent literary German of the nineteenth
century," reviews the memories of his early life. This autobiography
is a plain and very realistic story of a normal child, and not
adulterated with fiction like Goethe's or with psychoses like Rousseau
or Bashkirtseff. He seems a boy like all other boys, and his childhood
and youth were in no wise extraordinary. The first part of this work,
which describes his youth up to the age of eighteen, is the most
important, and everything is given with remarkable fidelity and
minuteness. It is a tale of little things. All the friendships and
loves and impulses are there, and he is fundamentally selfish and
utilitarian; God and nature were one, and only when his beloved Army
died did he wish to believe in immortality. He, too, as a child, found
two kinds of love in his heart—the idea and the sensual, very
independent—the one for a young and innocent girl and the other for a
superb young woman years older than he, pure, although the
personification of sense. He gives a rich harvest of minute and
sagacious observations about his strange simultaneous loves; the
peculiar tastes of food; his day-dream period; and his rather
prolonged habit of lying, the latter because he had no other vent for
invention. He describes with great regret his leaving school at so
early an age; his volcanic passion of anger; his self-distrust; his
periods of abandon; his passion to make a success of art though he did
not of life; his spells of self-despair and cynicism; his periods of
desolation in his single life; his habit of story-telling; his
wrestling with the problem of theology and God; the conflict between
his philosophy and his love of the girls, etc.
From a private school in Leipzig, where he had shown all a boy's tact
in finding what his masters thought the value of each subject they
taught; where he had joined in the vandalism of using a battering-ram
to break a way to the hated science apparatus and to destroy it;
feeling that the classical writers were overpraised; and where at the
age of sixteen he had appeared several times in public as a reciter of
his own poems, Max Müller returned to Leipzig and entered upon the
freedom of university life there at the age of seventeen. For years
his chief enjoyment was music.[51] He played the piano well, heard
everything he could in concert or opera, was an oratorio tenor, and
grew more and more absorbed in music, so that he planned to devote
himself altogether to it and also to enter a musical school at Dessau,
but nothing came of it. At the university he saw little of society,
was once incarcerated for wearing a club ribbon, and confesses that
with his boon companions he was guilty of practises which would now
bring culprits into collision with authorities. He fought three duels,
participated in many pranks and freakish escapades, but nevertheless
attended fifty-three different courses of lectures in three years.
When Hegelism was the state philosophy, he tried hard to understand
it, but dismissed it with the sentiments expressed by a French officer
to his tailor, who refused to take the trousers he had ordered to be
made very tight because they did not fit so closely that he could not
get into them. Darwin attracted him, yet the wildness of his followers
repelled. He says, "I confess I felt quite bewildered for a time and
began to despair altogether of my reasoning powers." He wonders how
young minds in German universities survive the storms and fogs through
which they pass. With bated breath he heard his elders talk of
philosophy and tried to lay hold of a word here and there, but it all
floated before his mind like mist. Later he had an Hegelian period,
but found in Herbart a corrective, and at last decided upon Sanskrit
and other ancient languages, because he felt that he must know
something that no other knew, and also that the Germans had then heard
only the after-chime and not the real striking of the bells of Indian
philosophy. From twenty his struggles and his queries grew more
definite, and at last, at the age of twenty-two, he was fully launched
upon his career in Paris, and later went to Oxford.
At thirteen Wagner[52] translated about half the "Odyssey"
voluntarily; at fourteen began the tragedy which was to combine the
grandeur of two of Shakespeare's dramas; at sixteen he tried "his
new-fledged musical wings by soaring at once to the highest peaks of
orchestral achievement without wasting any time on the humble
foot-hills." He sought to make a new departure, and, compared to the
grandeur of his own composition, "Beethoven's Ninth Symphony appeared
like a simple Pleyel Sonata." To facilitate the reading of his
astounding score, he wrote it in three kinds of ink—red for strings,
green for the wood-wind, and black for the brass instruments. He
writes that this overture was the climax of his absurdities, and
although the audience before which an accommodating orchestra played
it were disgusted and the musicians were convulsed with laughter, it
made a deep impression upon the author's mind. Even after
matriculating at the university he abandoned himself so long to the
dissipations common to student life before the reaction came that his
relatives feared that he was a good-for-nothing.
In his "Hannele," Hauptmann, the dramatist, describes in a kind of
dream poem what he supposed to pass through the mind of a dying girl
of thirteen or fourteen, who does not wish to live and is so absorbed
by the "Brownies of her brain" that she hardly knows whether she is
alive on earth or dead in heaven, and who sees the Lord Jesus in the
form of the schoolmaster whom she adores. In her closing vision there
is a symbolic representation of her own resurrection. To the
passionate discussions in Germany, England, and France, as to whether
this character is true to adolescence, we can only answer with an
emphatic affirmative; that her heaven abounds in local color and in
fairy tale items, that it is very material, and that she is troubled
by fears of sin against the Holy Ghost, is answer enough in an
ill-used, starving child with a fevered brain, whose dead mother
taught her these things.
Saint-Pierre's "Paul and Virginia" is an attempt to describe budding
adolescence in a boy and girl born on a remote island and reared in a
state of natural simplicity The descriptions are sentimental after the
fashion of the age in France, and the pathos, which to us smacks of
affectation and artificiality, nevertheless has a vein of truth in it.
The story really begins when the two children were twelve; and the
description of the dawn of love and melancholy in Virginia's heart,
for some time concealed from Paul, of her disquiet and piety, of the
final frank avowal of eternal love by each, set of by the pathetic
separation, and of the undying love, and finally the tragic death and
burial of each—all this owes its charm, for its many generations of
readers, to its merits as an essentially true picture of the human
heart at this critical age. This work and Rousseau[53] have
contributed to give French literature its peculiar cast in its
description of this age.
"The first explosions of combustible constitution" in Rousseau's,
precocious nature were troublesome, and he felt premature sensations
of erotic voluptuousness, but without any sin. He longed "to fall at
the feet of an imperious mistress, obey her mandates or implore
pardon." He only wanted a lady, to become a knight errant. At ten he
was passionately devoted to a Mlle. Vulson, whom he publicly and
tyrannically claimed as his own and would allow no other to approach.
He had very different sensuous feelings toward Mlle. Goton, with whom
his relations were very passionate, though pure. Absolutely under the
power of both these mistresses, the effects they produced upon him
were in no wise related to each other. The former was a brother's
affection with the jealousy of a lover added, but the latter a
furious, tigerish, Turkish rage. When told of the former's marriage,
in his indignation and heroic fury he swore never more to see a
perfidious girl. A slightly neurotic vein of prolonged ephebeitis
pervades much of his life.
Pierre Loti's "Story of a Child"[54] was written when the author was
forty-two, and contains hardly a fact, but it is one of the best of
inner autobiographies, and is nowhere richer than in the last
chapters, which bring the author down to the age of fourteen and a
half. He vividly describes the new joy at waking, which he began to
feel at twelve or thirteen; the clear vision into the bottomless pit
of death; the new, marvelous susceptibility to nature as comradeship
with boys of his own age was lacking; the sudden desires from pure
bravado and perversity to do something unseemly, e. g., making a fly
omelet and carrying it in a procession with song; the melting of
pewter plates and pouring them into water and salting a wild tract of
land with them; organizing a band of miners, whom he led as if with
keen scent to the right spot and rediscovered his nuggets, everything
being done mysteriously and as a tribal secret. Loti had a new feeling
for the haunting music of Chopin, which he had been taught to play but
had not been interested in; his mind was inflamed, by a home visit of
an elder brother, with the idea of going to the South Sea Islands, and
this became a long obsession which finally led him to enlist in the
navy, dropping, with a beating heart, the momentous letter into the
post-office after long misgivings and delays. He had a superficial and
a hidden self, the latter somewhat whimsical and perhaps ridiculous,
shared only with a few intimate friends for whom he would have let
himself be cut into bits. He believes his transition period lasted
longer than with the majority of men, and during it he was carried
from one extreme to another; had rather eccentric and absurd manners,
and touched moat of the perilous rocks on the voyage of life. He had
an early love for an older girl whose name he wrote in cipher on his
books, although he felt it a little artificial, but believed it might
have developed into a great and true hereditary friendship, continuing
that which their ancestors had felt for many generations. The birth of
love in his heart was in a dream after having read the forbidden poet,
Alfred de Musset. He was fourteen, and in his dream it was a soft,
odorous twilight. He walked amid flowers seeking a nameless some one
whom he ardently desired, and felt that something strange and
wonderful, intoxicating as it advanced, was going to happen. The
twilight grew deeper, and behind a rose-bush he saw a young girl with
a languorous and mysterious smile, although her forehead and eyes were
hidden. As it darkened rather suddenly, her eyes came out, and they
were very personal and seemed to belong to some one already much
beloved, who had been found with "transports of infinite joy and
tenderness." He woke with a start and sought to retain the phantom,
which faded. He could not conceive that was a mere illusion, and as he
realized that she had vanished he felt overwhelmed with hopelessness.
It was the first stirring "of true love with all its great melancholy
and deep mystery, with its overwhelming but sad enchantment—love
which like a perfume endows with a fragrance all it touches."
It is, I believe, high time that ephebic literature should be
recognized as a class by itself, and have a place of its own in the
history of letters and in criticism. Much of it should be individually
prescribed for the reading of the young, for whom it has a singular
zest and is a true stimulus and corrective. This stage of life now has
what might almost be called a school of its own. Here the young appeal
to and listen to each other as they do not to adults, and in a way the
latter have failed to appreciate. Again, no biography, and especially
no autobiography, should henceforth be complete if it does not
describe this period of transformation so all-determining for future
life to which it alone can often give the key. Rightly to draw the
lessons of this age not only saves us from waste ineffable of this
rich but crude area of experience, but makes maturity saner and more
complete. Lastly, many if not most young people should be encouraged
to enough of the confessional private journalism to teach them
self-knowledge, for the art of self-expression usually begins now if
ever, when it has a wealth of subjective material and needs forms of
expression peculiar to itself.
For additional references on the subject of this chapter, see:
Alcafarado, Marianna, Love Letters of a Portuguese Nun. Translated by
R. H., New York, 1887. Richardson, Abby Sage, Abelard and Héloise, and
Letters of Héloise, Houghton, Mifflin and Co., Boston. Smith, Theodote
L., Types of Adolescent Affection. Pedagogical Seminary, June, 1904,
vol. II, pp. 178-203.
[Footnote 1: Pedagogical Seminary, June 1901, vol. 8, pp. 163-205]
[Footnote 2: Being a Boy.]
[Footnote 3: Story of a Bad Boy.]
[Footnote 4: A Boy's Town.]
[Footnote 5: Court of Boyville.]
[Footnote 6: The Spoilt Child, by Peary Chandmitter. Translated by G.
D. Oswell. Thacker, Spink and Co., Calcutta, 1893.]
[Footnote 7: The Golden Age]
[Footnote 8: Frau Spyri.]
[Footnote 9: The One I Knew the Best of All.]
[Footnote 10: The Study of the Boyhood of Great Men. Pedagogical
Seminary, October, 1894, vol. 3, pp. 134-156.]
[Footnote 11: The Vanishing Character of Adolescent Experiences.
Northwestern Monthly, June, 1898, vol. 8, p. 644.]
[Footnote 12: The Count of Boyville, by William Allen White. New York,
1899, p. 358.]
[Footnote 13: The Study of Adolescence. Pedagogical Seminary, June,
1891, vol. 1, pp. 174-195.]
[Footnote 14: Lancaster: The Psychology and Pedagogy of Adolescence.
Pedagogical Seminary, July, 1897, vol. 5, p. 106.]
[Footnote 15: Standards of Efficiency in School and in Life.
Pedagogical Seminary, March, 1903, vol. 10, pp. 3-22.]
[Footnote 16: See also Vittorio da Feltre and other Humanist
Educators, by W. H. Woodward. Cambridge University Press, 1897.]
[Footnote 17: See The Private Life of Galileo; from his Correspondence
and that of his Eldest Daughter. Anon, Macmillan, London, 1870.]
[Footnote 18: See Sir David Brewster's Life of Newton. Harper, New
York, 1874.]
[Footnote 19: Louis Agassiz, His Life and Work, by C. F. Holder. G. P.
Putnam's Sons, New York, 1893.]
[Footnote 20: Life and Letters of Thomas H. Huxley, by his son Leonard
Huxley. D. Appleton and Co., New York, 1901.]
[Footnote 21: See also Sully: A Girl's Religion. Longman's Magazine,
May, 1890, pp. 89-99.]
[Footnote 22: Sheldon (Institutional Activities of American Children;
American Journal of Psychology, July, 1898, vol. 9, p. 434) describes
a faintly analogous case of a girl of eleven, who organised the
worship of Pallas Athena on two flat rocks, in a deep ravine by a
stream where a young sycamore grew from an old stump, as did Pallas
from the head of her father Zeus. There was a court consisting of
king, queen and subjects, and priests who officiated at sacrifices.
The king and queen wore goldenrod upon their heads and waded in
streams attended by their subjects; gathered flowers for Athena;
caught crayfish which were duly smashed upon her altar. "Sometimes
there was a special celebration, when, in addition to the slaughtered
crayfish and beautiful flower decorations, and pickles stolen from the
dinner-table, there would be an elaborate ceremony," which because of
its uncanny acts was intensely disliked by the people at hand.]
[Footnote 23: The One I Know The Best of All. A Memory of the Mind of
a Child. By Frances Hodgson Burnett. Scribner's Sons, New York, 1893]
[Footnote 24: The Beth Book, by Sarah Grand. D. Appleton and Co., New
York, 1897.]
[Footnote 25: Autobiography of a Child. Hannah Lynch, W. Blackwood and
Sons, London, 1899, p. 255.]
[Footnote 26: The Story of My Life. By Helen Keller. Doubleday, Page
and Co., New York, 1903, p. 39.]
[Footnote 27: Journal of a Young Artist. Cassell and Co., New York,
1889, p. 434.]
[Footnote 28: The Story of Mary MacLane. By herself. Herbert S. Stone
and Co., Chicago, 1902, p. 322.]
[Footnote 29: Fate. Translated from the Italian by A.M. Von Blomberg.
Copeland and Day, Boston, 1898.]
[Footnote 30: Confessions of an Opium Eater. Part I. Introductory
Narrative. (Cambridge Classics) 1896.]
[Footnote 31: Longmans, Green and Co. London, 1891, 2nd ed.]
[Footnote 32: The Hearts of Men. Macmillan, London, 1891, p. 324.]
[Footnote 33: An Autobiography. Edited by H.M. Trollope. 2 vols.
London, 1883.]
[Footnote 34: See his Memoirs. London, 1885.]
[Footnote 35: See Autobiography of Mark Rutherford (pseudonym for W.H.
White), edited by Reuben Shapcott. 2 vols. London, 1881.]
[Footnote 36: The rest of the two volumes is devoted to his further
life as a dissenting minister, who later became something of a
literary man; relating how he was slowly driven to leave his little
church, how he outgrew and broke with the girl to whom he was engaged,
whom he marvelously met and married when both were well on in years,
and how strangely he was influenced by the free-thinker Mardon and his
remarkable daughter. All in all it is a rare study of emancipation.]
[Footnote 37: London, 1896, vol. 1.]
[Footnote 38: Macmillan, 1902.]
[Footnote 39: Life of Sir J.F. Stephen. By his brother, Leslie
Stephen, London, 1895.]
[Footnote 40: See the very impressive account of Dicken's
characterization of childhood and youth, and of his great but hitherto
inadequately recognized interest and influence as an educator. Dickens
as an Educator. James L. Hughes. D. Appleton and Co., New York, 1901,
p. 319.]
[Footnote 41: John Inglesant: A Romance. 6th ed. Macmillan, 1886.]
[Footnote 42: The Autobiography of a Journalist. 2 vols. Houghton,
Mifflin and Co., Boston, 1901.]
[Footnote 43: A. Bronson Alcott, His Life and Philosophy. By F. B.
Sanborn and W. T. Harris. Roberts Bros., Boston, 1893.]
[Footnote 44: Horace Bushnell, Preacher and Theologian. By Theodore F.
Munger. Houghton, Mifflin and Co., Boston, 1899.]
[Footnote 45: By C.W. Chesnutt. (Beacon Biographies.) Small, Maynard
and Co., Boston, 1899.]
[Footnote 46: The Making of an American. Macmillan, 1901.]
[Footnote 47: Sonny. By Ruth McEnery Stuart. The Century Co., New
York, 1896.]
[Footnote 48: The Story of My Life. Works, vol. 8 new edition.
Houghton, Mifflin and Co., Boston, 1894.]
[Footnote 49: The Story of My Life. Translated by M. J. Safford. D.
Appleton and Co., New York 1893.]
[Footnote 50: Gesammelte Werke. Vierter Band. Wilhelm Hertz, Berlin,
1897.]
[Footnote 51: My Autobiography, p. 106. Chas. Scribner's Sons, New
York, 1901.]
[Footnote 52: Wagner and His Works. By Henry T. Finck. Chas.
Scribner's Sons, New York, 1893.]
[Footnote 53: Les Confessions. Oeuvres Complètes, vols. 8 and 9.
Hachette et Cie., Paris, 1903.]
[Footnote 54: Translated from the French by C.F. Smith. C.C. Birchard
and Co., Boston, 1901.]
* * * * *