"But to get the real thing!" cried Vernall, the war-correspondent. "It
seems impossible! It is because war is neither magnificent nor squalid;
it is simply life, and an expression of life can always evade us. We
can never tell life, one to another, although sometimes we think we
can."
When I climbed aboard the despatch-boat at Key West, the mate told me
irritably that as soon as we crossed the bar, we would find ourselves
monkey-climbing over heavy seas. It wasn't my fault, but he seemed to
insinuate that it was all a result of my incapacity. There were four
correspondents in the party. The leader of us came aboard with a huge
bunch of bananas, which he hung like a chandelier in the centre of the
tiny cabin. We made acquaintance over, around, and under this bunch of
bananas, which really occupied the cabin as a soldier occupies a sentry
box. But the bunch did not become really aggressive until we were well
at sea. Then it began to spar. With the first roll of the ship, it
launched its honest pounds at McCurdy and knocked him wildly through
the door to the deck-rail, where he hung cursing hysterically. Without
a moment's pause, it made for me. I flung myself head-first into my
bunk and watched the demon sweep Brownlow into a corner and wedge his
knee behind a sea-chest. Kary gave a shrill cry and fled. The bunch of
bananas swung to and fro, silent, determined, ferocious, looking for
more men. It had cleared a space for itself. My comrades looked in at
the door, calling upon me to grab the thing and hold it. I pointed out
to them the security and comfort of my position. They were angry.
Finally the mate came and lashed the thing so that it could not prowl
about the cabin and assault innocent war-correspondents. You see? War!
A bunch of bananas rampant because the ship rolled.
In that early period of the war we were forced to continue our dreams.
And we were all dreamers, envisioning the seas with death grapples,
ship and ship. Even the navy grew cynical. Officers on the bridge
lifted their megaphones and told you in resigned voices that they were
out of ice, onions, and eggs. At other times, they would shoot quite
casually at us with six-pounders. This industry usually progressed in
the night, but it sometimes happened in the day. There was never any
resentment on our side, although at moments there was some nervousness.
They were impressively quick with their lanyards; our means of replying
to signals were correspondingly slow. They gave you opportunity to say,
"Heaven guard me!" Then they shot. But we recognised the propriety of
it. Everything was correct save the war, which lagged and lagged and
lagged. It did not play; it was not a gory giant; it was a bunch of
bananas swung in the middle of the cabin.
Once we had the honour of being rammed at midnight by the U.S.S.
Machias. In fact the exceeding industry of the naval commanders
of the Cuban blockading fleet caused a certain liveliness to at times
penetrate our mediocre existence. We were all greatly entertained over
an immediate prospect of being either killed by rapid fire guns, cut in
half by the ram or merely drowned, but even our great longing for
diversion could not cause us to ever again go near the Machias
on a dark night. We had sailed from Key West on a mission that had
nothing to do with the coast of Cuba, and steaming due east and some
thirty-five miles from the Cuban land, we did not think we were liable
to an affair with any of the fierce American cruisers. Suddenly a
familiar signal of red and white lights flashed like a brooch of jewels
on the pall that covered the sea. It was far away and tiny, but we knew
all about it. It was the electric question of an American war-ship and
it demanded a swift answer in kind. The man behind the gun! What about
the man in front of the gun? The war-ship signals vanished and the sea
presented nothing but a smoky black stretch lit with the hissing white
tops of the flying waves. A thin line of flame swept from a gun.
Thereafter followed one of those silences which had become so
peculiarly instructive to the blockade-runner. Somewhere in the
darkness we knew that a slate-coloured cruiser, red below the
water-line and with a gold scroll on her bows, was flying over the
waves toward us, while upon the dark decks the men stood at general
quarters in silence about the long thin guns, and it was the law of
life and death that we should make true answer in about the twelfth
part of a second. Now I shall with regret disclose a certain dreadful
secret of the despatch-boat service. Our signals, far from being
electric, were two lanterns which we kept in a tub and covered with a
tarpaulin. The tub was placed just forward of the pilot-house, and when
we were accosted at night it was everybody's duty to scramble wildly
for the tub and grab out the lanterns and wave them. It amounted to a
slowness of speech. I remember a story of an army sentry who upon
hearing a noise in his front one dark night called his usual sharp
query. "Halt—who's there? Halt or I'll fire!" And getting no immediate
response he fired even as he had said, killing a man with a hair-lip
who unfortunately could not arrange his vocal machinery to reply in
season. We were something like a boat with a hair-lip. And sometimes it
was very trying to the nerves…. The pause was long. Then a voice
spoke from the sea through a megaphone. It was faint but clear. "What
ship is that?" No one hesitated over his answer in cases of this kind.
Everybody was desirous of imparting fullest information. There was
another pause. Then out of the darkness flew an American cruiser,
silent as death, handled as ferociously as if the devil commanded her.
Again the little voice hailed from the bridge. "What ship is that?"
Evidently the reply to the first hail had been misunderstood or not
heard. This time the voice rang with menace, menace of immediate and
certain destruction, and the last word was intoned savagely and
strangely across the windy darkness as if the officer would explain
that the cruiser was after either fools or the common enemy. The yells
in return did not stop her. She was hurling herself forward to ram us
amidships, and the people on the little Three Friends looked at
a tall swooping bow, and it was keener than any knife that has ever
been made. As the cruiser lunged every man imagined the gallant and
famous but frail Three Friends cut into two parts as neatly as
if she had been cheese. But there was a sheer and a hard sheer to
starboard, and down upon our quarter swung a monstrous thing larger
than any ship in the world—the U.S.S. Machias. She had a
freeboard of about three hundred feet and the top of her funnel was out
of sight in the clouds like an Alp. I shouldn't wonder that at the top
of that funnel there was a region of perpetual snow. And at a range
which swiftly narrowed to nothing every gun in her port-battery swung
deliberately into aim. It was closer, more deliciously intimate than a
duel across a handkerchief. We all had an opportunity of looking miles
down the muzzles of this festive artillery before came the collision.
Then the Machias reeled her steel shoulder against the wooden
side of the Three Friends and up went a roar as if a vast
shingle roof had fallen. The poor little tug dipped as if she meant to
pass under the war-ship, staggered and finally righted, trembling from
head to foot. The cries of the splintered timbers ceased. The men on
the tug gazed at each other with white faces shining faintly in the
darkness. The Machias backed away even as the Three
Friends drew slowly ahead, and again we were alone with the piping
of the wind and the slash of the gale-driven water. Later, from some
hidden part of the sea, the bullish eye of a searchlight looked at us
and the widening white rays bathed us in the glare. There was another
hail. "Hello there, Three Friends!" "Ay, ay, sir!" "Are you
injured?" Our first mate had taken a lantern and was studying the side
of the tug, and we held our breath for his answer. I was sure that he
was going to say that we were sinking. Surely there could be no other
ending to this terrific bloodthirsty assault. But the first mate said,
"No, sir." Instantly the glare of the search-light was gone; the
Machias was gone; the incident was closed.
I was dining once on board the flag-ship, the New York, armoured
cruiser. It was the junior officers' mess, and when the coffee came, a
young ensign went to the piano and began to bang out a popular tune. It
was a cheerful scene, and it resembled only a cheerful scene. Suddenly
we heard the whistle of the bos'n's mate, and directly above us, it
seemed, a voice, hoarse as that of a sea-lion, bellowed a command: "Man
the port battery." In a moment the table was vacant; the popular tune
ceased in a jangle. On the quarter-deck assembled a group of
officers—spectators. The quiet evening sea, lit with faint red lights,
went peacefully to the feet of a verdant shore. One could hear the
far-away measured tumbling of surf upon a reef. Only this sound pulsed
in the air. The great grey cruiser was as still as the earth, the sea,
and the sky. Then they let off a four-inch gun directly under my feet.
I thought it turned me a back-somersault. That was the effect upon my
mind. But it appears I did not move. The shell went carousing off to
the Cuban shore, and from the vegetation there spirted a cloud of dust.
Some of the officers on the quarter-deck laughed. Through their glasses
they had seen a Spanish column of cavalry much agitated by the
appearance of this shell among them. As far as I was concerned, there
was nothing but the spirt of dust from the side of a long-suffering
island. When I returned to my coffee I found that most of the young
officers had also returned. Japanese boys were bringing liquors. The
piano's clattering of the popular air was often interrupted by the boom
of a four-inch gun. A bunch of bananas!
One day, our despatch-boat found the shores of Guantanamo Bay flowing
past on either side. It was at nightfall and on the eastward point a
small village was burning, and it happened that a fiery light was
thrown upon some palm-trees so that it made them into enormous crimson
feathers. The water was the colour of blue steel; the Cuban woods were
sombre; high shivered the gory feathers. The last boatloads of the
marine battalion were pulling for the beach. The marine officers gave
me generous hospitality to the camp on the hill. That night there was
an alarm and amid a stern calling of orders and a rushing of men, I
wandered in search of some other man who had no occupation. It turned
out to be the young assistant surgeon, Gibbs. We foregathered in the
centre of a square of six companies of marines. There was no firing. We
thought it rather comic. The next night there was an alarm; there was
some firing; we lay on our bellies; it was no longer comic. On the
third night the alarm came early; I went in search of Gibbs, but I soon
gave over an active search for the more congenial occupation of lying
flat and feeling the hot hiss of the bullets trying to cut my hair. For
the moment I was no longer a cynic. I was a child who, in a fit of
ignorance, had jumped into the vat of war. I heard somebody dying near
me. He was dying hard. Hard. It took him a long time to die. He
breathed as all noble machinery breathes when it is making its gallant
strife against breaking, breaking. But he was going to break. He was
going to break. It seemed to me, this breathing, the noise of a heroic
pump which strives to subdue a mud which comes upon it in tons. The
darkness was impenetrable. The man was lying in some depression within
seven feet of me. Every wave, vibration, of his anguish beat upon my
senses. He was long past groaning. There was only the bitter strife for
air which pulsed out into the night in a clear penetrating whistle with
intervals of terrible silence in which I held my own breath in the
common unconscious aspiration to help. I thought this man would never
die. I wanted him to die. Ultimately he died. At the moment the
adjutant came bustling along erect amid the spitting bullets. I knew
him by his voice. "Where's the doctor? There's some wounded men over
there. Where's the doctor?" A man answered briskly: "Just died this
minute, sir." It was as if he had said: "Just gone around the corner
this minute, sir." Despite the horror of this night's business, the
man's mind was somehow influenced by the coincidence of the adjutant's
calling aloud for the doctor within a few seconds of the doctor's
death. It—what shall I say? It interested him, this coincidence.
The day broke by inches, with an obvious and maddening reluctance. From
some unfathomable source I procured an opinion that my friend was not
dead at all—the wild and quivering darkness had caused me to
misinterpret a few shouted words. At length the land brightened in a
violent atmosphere, the perfect dawning of a tropic day, and in this
light I saw a clump of men near me. At first I thought they were all
dead. Then I thought they were all asleep. The truth was that a group
of wan-faced, exhausted men had gone to sleep about Gibbs' body so
closely and in such abandoned attitudes that one's eye could not pick
the living from the dead until one saw that a certain head had beneath
it a great dark pool.
In the afternoon a lot of men went bathing, and in the midst of this
festivity firing was resumed. It was funny to see the men come
scampering out of the water, grab at their rifles and go into action
attired in nought but their cartridge-belts. The attack of the
Spaniards had interrupted in some degree the services over the graves
of Gibbs and some others. I remember Paine came ashore with a bottle of
whisky which I took from him violently. My faithful shooting boots
began to hurt me, and I went to the beach and poulticed my feet in wet
clay, sitting on the little rickety pier near where the corrugated iron
cable-station showed how the shells slivered through it. Some marines,
desirous of mementoes, were poking with sticks in the smoking ruins of
the hamlet. Down in the shallow water crabs were meandering among the
weeds, and little fishes moved slowly in schools.
The next day we went shooting. It was exactly like quail shooting. I'll
tell you. These guerillas who so cursed our lives had a well some five
miles away, and it was the only water supply within about twelve miles
of the marine camp. It was decided that it would be correct to go forth
and destroy the well. Captain Elliott, of C company, was to take his
men with Captain Spicer's company, D, out to the well, beat the enemy
away and destroy everything. He was to start at the next daybreak. He
asked me if I cared to go, and, of course, I accepted with glee; but
all that night I was afraid. Bitterly afraid. The moon was very bright,
shedding a magnificent radiance upon the trenches. I watched the men of
C and D companies lying so tranquilly—some snoring, confound
them—whereas I was certain that I could never sleep with the weight of
a coming battle upon my mind, a battle in which the poor life of a
war-correspondent might easily be taken by a careless enemy. But if I
was frightened I was also very cold. It was a chill night and I wanted
a heavy top-coat almost as much as I wanted a certificate of immunity
from rifle bullets. These two feelings were of equal importance to my
mind. They were twins. Elliott came and flung a tent-fly over
Lieutenant Bannon and me as we lay on the ground back of the men. Then
I was no longer cold, but I was still afraid, for tent-flies cannot
mend a fear. In the morning I wished for some mild attack of disease,
something that would incapacitate me for the business of going out
gratuitously to be bombarded. But I was in an awkwardly healthy state,
and so I must needs smile and look pleased with my prospects. We were
to be guided by fifty Cubans, and I gave up all dreams of a
postponement when I saw them shambling off in single file through the
cactus. We followed presently. "Where you people goin' to?" "Don't
know, Jim." "Well, good luck to you, boys." This was the world's lazy
inquiry and conventional God-speed. Then the mysterious wilderness
swallowed us.
The men were silent because they were ordered to be silent, but
whatever faces I could observe were marked with a look of serious
meditation. As they trudged slowly in single file they were reflecting
upon—what? I don't know. But at length we came to ground more open.
The sea appeared on our right, and we saw the gunboat Dolphin
steaming along in a line parallel to ours. I was as glad to see her as
if she had called out my name. The trail wound about the bases of some
high bare spurs. If the Spaniards had occupied them I don't see how we
could have gone further. But upon them were only the dove-voiced
guerilla scouts calling back into the hills the news of our approach.
The effect of sound is of course relative. I am sure I have never heard
such a horrible sound as the beautiful cooing of the wood-dove when I
was certain that it came from the yellow throat of a guerilla. Elliott
sent Lieutenant Lucas with his platoon to ascend the hills and cover
our advance by the trail. We halted and watched them climb, a long
black streak of men in the vivid sunshine of the hillside. We did not
know how tall were these hills until we saw Lucas and his men on top,
and they were no larger than specks. We marched on until, at last, we
heard—it seemed in the sky—the sputter of firing. This devil's dance
was begun. The proper strategic movement to cover the crisis seemed to
me to be to run away home and swear I had never started on this
expedition. But Elliott yelled: "Now, men; straight up this hill." The
men charged up against the cactus, and, because I cared for the opinion
of others, I found myself tagging along close at Elliott's heels. I
don't know how I got up that hill, but I think it was because I was
afraid to be left behind. The immediate rear did not look safe. The
crowd of strong young marines afforded the only spectacle of
provisional security. So I tagged along at Elliott's heels. The hill
was as steep as a Swiss roof. From it sprang out great pillars of
cactus, and the human instinct was to assist one's self in the ascent
by grasping cactus with one's hands. I remember the watch I had to keep
upon this human instinct even when the sound of the bullets was
attracting my nervous attention. However, the attractive thing to my
sense at the time was the fact that every man of the marines was also
climbing away like mad. It was one thing for Elliott, Spicer, Neville,
Shaw and Bannon; it was another thing for me; but—what in the devil
was it to the men? Not the same thing surely. It was perfectly easy for
any marine to get overcome by the burning heat and, lying down,
bequeath the work and the danger to his comrades. The fine thing about
"the men" is that you can't explain them. I mean when you take them
collectively. They do a thing, and afterward you find that they have
done it because they have done it. However, when Elliott arrived at the
top of the ridge, myself and many other men were with him. But there
was no battle scene. Off on another ridge we could see Lucas' men and
the Cubans peppering away into a valley. The bullets about our ears
were really intended to lodge in them. We went over there.
I walked along the firing line and looked at the men. I kept somewhat
on what I shall call the lee side of the ridge. Why? Because I
was afraid of being shot. No other reason. Most of the men as they lay
flat, shooting, looked contented, almost happy. They were pleased,
these men, at the situation. I don't know. I cannot imagine. But they
were pleased, at any rate. I wasn't pleased. I was picturing defeat. I
was saying to myself:—"Now if the enemy should suddenly do so-and-so,
or so-and-so, why—what would become of me?" During these first few
moments I did not see the Spanish position because—I was afraid to
look at it. Bullets were hissing and spitting over the crest of the
ridge in such showers as to make observation to be a task for a brave
man. No, now, look here, why the deuce should I have stuck my head up,
eh? Why? Well, at any rate, I didn't until it seemed to be a far less
thing than most of the men were doing as if they liked it. Then I saw
nothing. At least it was only the bottom of a small valley. In this
valley there was a thicket—a big thicket—and this thicket seemed to
be crowded with a mysterious class of persons who were evidently trying
to kill us. Our enemies? Yes—perhaps—I suppose so. Leave that to the
people in the streets at home. They know and cry against the public
enemy, but when men go into actual battle not one in a thousand
concerns himself with an animus against the men who face him. The great
desire is to beat them—beat them whoever they are as a matter, first,
of personal safety, second, of personal glory. It is always safest to
make the other chap quickly run away. And as he runs away, one feels,
as one tries to hit him in the back and knock him sprawling, that he
must be a very good and sensible fellow. But these people apparently
did not mean to run away. They clung to their thicket and, amid the
roar of the firing, one could sometimes hear their wild yells of insult
and defiance. They were actually the most obstinate, headstrong, mulish
people that you could ever imagine. The Dolphin was throwing
shells into their immediate vicinity and the fire from the marines and
Cubans was very rapid and heavy, but still those incomprehensible
mortals remained in their thicket. The scene on the top of the ridge
was very wild, but there was only one truly romantic figure. This was a
Cuban officer who held in one hand a great glittering machete and in
the other a cocked revolver. He posed like a statue of victory.
Afterwards he confessed to me that he alone had been responsible for
the winning of the fight. But outside of this splendid person it was
simply a picture of men at work, men terribly hard at work, red-faced,
sweating, gasping toilers. A Cuban negro soldier was shot though the
heart and one man took the body on his back and another took it by its
feet and trundled away toward the rear looking precisely like a
wheelbarrow. A man in C company was shot through the ankle and he sat
behind the line nursing his wound. Apparently he was pleased with it.
It seemed to suit him. I don't know why. But beside him sat a comrade
with a face drawn, solemn and responsible like that of a New England
spinster at the bedside of a sick child.
The fight banged away with a roar like a forest fire. Suddenly a marine
wriggled out of the firing line and came frantically to me. "Say, young
feller, I'll give you five dollars for a drink of whisky." He tried to
force into my hand a gold piece. "Go to the devil," said I, deeply
scandalised. "Besides, I haven't got any whisky," "No, but look here,"
he beseeched me. "If I don't get a drink I'll die. And I'll give you
five dollars for it. Honest, I will." I finally tried to escape from
him by walking away, but he followed at my heels, importuning me with
all the exasperating persistence of a professional beggar and trying to
force this ghastly gold piece into my hand. I could not shake him off,
and amid that clatter of furious fighting I found myself intensely
embarrassed, and glancing fearfully this way and that way to make sure
that people did not see me, the villain and his gold. In vain I assured
him that if I had any whisky I should place it at his disposal. He
could not be turned away. I thought of the European expedient in such a
crisis—to jump in a cab. But unfortunately—— In the meantime I had
given up my occupation of tagging at Captain Elliott's heels, because
his business required that he should go into places of great danger.
But from time to time I was under his attention. Once he turned to me
and said: "Mr. Vernall, will you go and satisfy yourself who those
people are?" Some men had appeared on a hill about six hundred yards
from our left flank. "Yes, sir," cried I with, I assure you, the finest
alacrity and cheerfulness, and my tone proved to me that I had
inherited histrionic abilities. This tone was of course a black lie,
but I went off briskly and was as jaunty as a real soldier while all
the time my heart was in my boots and I was cursing the day that saw me
landed on the shores of the tragic isle. If the men on the distant hill
had been guerillas, my future might have been seriously jeopardised,
but I had not gone far toward them when I was able to recognise the
uniforms of the marine corps. Whereupon I scampered back to the firing
line and with the same alacrity and cheerfulness reported my
information. I mention to you that I was afraid, because there were
about me that day many men who did not seem to be afraid at all, men
with quiet, composed faces who went about this business as if they
proceeded from a sense of habit. They were not old soldiers; they were
mainly recruits, but many of them betrayed all the emotion and merely
the emotion that one sees in the face of a man earnestly at work.
I don't know how long the action lasted. I remember deciding in my own
mind that the Spaniards stood forty minutes. This was a mere arbitrary
decision based on nothing. But at any rate we finally arrived at the
satisfactory moment when the enemy began to run away. I shall never
forget how my courage increased. And then began the great bird
shooting. From the far side of the thicket arose an easy slope covered
with plum-coloured bush. The Spaniards broke in coveys of from six to
fifteen men—or birds—and swarmed up this slope. The marines on our
ridge then had some fine, open field shooting. No charge could be made
because the shells from the Dolphin were helping the Spaniards
to evacuate the thicket, so the marines had to be content with this
extraordinary paraphrase of a kind of sport. It was strangely like the
original. The shells from the Dolphin were the dogs; dogs who
went in and stirred out the game. The marines were suddenly gentlemen
in leggings, alive with the sharp instinct which marks the hunter. The
Spaniards were the birds. Yes, they were the birds, but I doubt if they
would sympathise with my metaphors.
We destroyed their camp, and when the tiled roof of a burning house
fell with a crash it was so like the crash of a strong volley of
musketry that we all turned with a start, fearing that we would have to
fight again on that same day. And this struck me at least as being an
impossible thing. They gave us water from the Dolphin and we
filled our canteens. None of the men were particularly jubilant. They
did not altogether appreciate their victory. They were occupied in
being glad that the fight was over. I discovered to my amazement that
we were on the summit of a hill so high that our released eyes seemed
to sweep over half the world. The vast stretch of sea shimmering like
fragile blue silk in the breeze, lost itself ultimately in an
indefinite pink haze, while in the other direction, ridge after ridge,
ridge after ridge, rolled brown and arid into the north. The battle had
been fought high in the air—where the rain clouds might have been.
That is why everybody's face was the colour of beetroot and men lay on
the ground and only swore feebly when the cactus spurs sank into them.
Finally we started for camp. Leaving our wounded, our cactus
pincushions, and our heat-prostrated men on board the Dolphin. I
did not see that the men were elate or even grinning with satisfaction.
They seemed only anxious to get to food and rest. And yet it was plain
that Elliott and his men had performed a service that would prove
invaluable to the security and comfort of the entire battalion. They
had driven the guerillas to take a road along which they would have to
proceed for fifteen miles before they could get as much water as would
wet the point of a pin. And by the destruction of a well at the scene
of the fight, Elliott made an arid zone almost twenty miles wide
between the enemy and the base camp. In Cuba this is the best of
protections. However, a cup of coffee! Time enough to think of a
brilliant success after one had had a cup of coffee. The long line
plodded wearily through the dusky jungle which was never again to be
alive with ambushes.
It was dark when we stumbled into camp, and I was sad with an
ungovernable sadness, because I was too tired to remember where I had
left my kit. But some of my colleagues were waiting on the beach, and
they put me on a despatch-boat to take my news to a Jamaica
cable-station. The appearance of this despatch-boat struck me with
wonder. It was reminiscent of something with which I had been familiar
in early years. I looked with dull surprise at three men of the
engine-room force, who sat aft on some bags of coal smoking their pipes
and talking as if there had never been any battles fought anywhere. The
sudden clang of the gong made me start and listen eagerly, as if I
would be asking: "What was that?" The chunking of the screw affected me
also, but I seemed to relate it to a former and pleasing experience.
One of the correspondents on board immediately began to tell me of the
chief engineer, who, he said, was a comic old character. I was taken to
see this marvel, which presented itself as a gray-bearded man with an
oil can, who had the cynical, malicious, egotistic eye of proclaimed
and admired ignorance. I looked dazedly at the venerable impostor. What
had he to do with battles—the humming click of the locks, the odour of
burnt cotton, the bullets, the firing? My friend told the scoundrel
that I was just returned from the afternoon's action. He said: "That
so?" And looked at me with a smile, faintly, faintly derisive. You see?
I had just come out of my life's most fiery time, and that old devil
looked at me with that smile. What colossal conceit. The
four-times-damned doddering old head-mechanic of a derelict junk shop.
The whole trouble lay in the fact that I had not shouted out with
mingled awe and joy as he stood there in his wisdom and experience,
with all his ancient saws and home-made epigrams ready to fire.
My friend took me to the cabin. What a squalid hole! My heart sank. The
reward after the labour should have been a great airy chamber, a
gigantic four-poster, iced melons, grilled birds, wine, and the
delighted attendance of my friends. When I had finished my cablegram, I
retired to a little shelf of a berth, which reeked of oil, while the
blankets had soaked recently with sea-water. The vessel heeled to
leaward in spasmodic attempts to hurl me out, and I resisted with the
last of my strength. The infamous pettiness of it all! I thought the
night would never end. "But never mind," I said to myself at last,
"to-morrow in Fort Antonio I shall have a great bath and fine raiment,
and I shall dine grandly and there will be lager beer on ice. And there
will be attendants to run when I touch a bell, and I shall catch every
interested romantist in the town, and spin him the story of the fight
at Cusco." We reached Fort Antonio and I fled from the cable office to
the hotel. I procured the bath and, as I donned whatever fine raiment I
had foraged, I called the boy and pompously told him of a dinner—a
real dinner, with furbelows and complications, and yet with a basis of
sincerity. He looked at me calf-like for a moment, and then he went
away. After a long interval, the manager himself appeared and asked me
some questions which led me to see that he thought I had attempted to
undermine and disintegrate the intellect of the boy, by the elocution
of Arabic incantations. Well, never mind. In the end, the manager of
the hotel elicited from me that great cry, that cry which during the
war, rang piteously from thousands of throats, that last grand cry of
anguish and despair: "Well, then, in the name of God, can I have a
cold bottle of beer?"
Well, you see to what war brings men? War is death, and a plague of the
lack of small things, and toil. Nor did I catch my sentimentalists and
pour forth my tale to them, and thrill, appal, and fascinate them.
However, they did feel an interest in me, for I heard a lady at the
hotel ask: "Who is that chap in the very dirty jack-boots?" So
you see, that whereas you can be very much frightened upon going into
action, you can also be greatly annoyed after you have come out.
Later, I fell into the hands of one of my closest friends, and he
mercilessly outlined a scheme for landing to the west of Santiago and
getting through the Spanish lines to some place from which we could
view the Spanish squadron lying in the harbour. There was rumour that
the Viscaya had escaped, he said, and it would be very nice to
make sure of the truth. So we steamed to a point opposite a Cuban camp
which my friend knew, and flung two crop-tailed Jamaica polo ponies
into the sea. We followed in a small boat and were met on the beach by
a small Cuban detachment who immediately caught our ponies and saddled
them for us. I suppose we felt rather god-like. We were almost the
first Americans they had seen and they looked at us with eyes of
grateful affection. I don't suppose many men have the experience of
being looked at with eyes of grateful affection. They guide us to a
Cuban camp where, in a little palm-bark hut, a black-faced
lieutenant-colonel was lolling in a hammock. I couldn't understand what
was said, but at any rate he must have ordered his half-naked orderly
to make coffee, for it was done. It was a dark syrup in smoky tin-cups,
but it was better than the cold bottle of beer which I did not drink in
Jamaica.
The Cuban camp was an expeditious affair of saplings and palm-bark tied
with creepers. It could be burned to the ground in fifteen minutes and
in ten reduplicated. The soldiers were in appearance an absolutely
good-natured set of half-starved ragamuffins. Their breeches hung in
threads about their black legs and their shirts were as nothing. They
looked like a collection of real tropic savages at whom some
philanthropist had flung a bundle of rags and some of the rags had
stuck here and there. But their condition was now a habit. I doubt if
they knew they were half-naked. Anyhow they didn't care. No more they
should; the weather was warm. This lieutenant-colonel gave us an escort
of five or six men and we went up into the mountains, lying flat on our
Jamaica ponies while they went like rats up and down extraordinary
trails. In the evening we reached the camp of a major who commanded the
outposts. It was high, high in the hills. The stars were as big as
cocoanuts. We lay in borrowed hammocks and watched the firelight gleam
blood-red on the trees. I remember an utterly naked negro squatting,
crimson, by the fire and cleaning an iron-pot. Some voices were singing
an Afric wail of forsaken love and death. And at dawn we were to try to
steal through the Spanish lines. I was very, very sorry.
In the cold dawn the situation was the same, but somehow courage seemed
to be in the breaking day. I went off with the others quite cheerfully.
We came to where the pickets stood behind bulwarks of stone in
frameworks of saplings. They were peering across a narrow cloud-steeped
gulch at a dull fire marking a Spanish post. There was some palaver and
then, with fifteen men, we descended the side of this mountain, going
down into the chill blue-and-grey clouds. We had left our horses with
the Cuban pickets. We proceeded stealthily, for we were already within
range of the Spanish pickets. At the bottom of the cañon it was still
night. A brook, a regular salmon-stream, brawled over the rocks. There
were grassy banks and most delightful trees. The whole valley was a
sylvan fragrance. But—the guide waved his arm and scowled warningly,
and in a moment we were off, threading thickets, climbing hills,
crawling through fields on our hands and knees, sometimes sweeping like
seventeen phantoms across a Spanish road. I was in a dream, but I kept
my eye on the guide and halted to listen when he halted to listen and
ambled onward when he ambled onward. Sometimes he turned and pantomimed
as ably and fiercely as a man being stung by a thousand hornets. Then
we knew that the situation was extremely delicate. We were now of
course well inside the Spanish lines and we ascended a great hill which
overlooked the harbour of Santiago. There, tranquilly at anchor, lay
the Oquendo, the Maria Theresa, the Christobal
Colon, the Viscaya, the Pluton, the Furor. The
bay was white in the sun and the great blacked-hull armoured cruisers
were impressive in a dignity massive yet graceful. We did not know that
they were all doomed ships, soon to go out to a swift death. My friend
drew maps and things while I devoted myself to complete rest, blinking
lazily at the Spanish squadron. We did not know that we were the last
Americans to view them alive and unhurt and at peace. Then we retraced
our way, at the same noiseless canter. I did not understand my
condition until I considered that we were well through the Spanish
lines and practically out of danger. Then I discovered that I was a
dead man. The nervous force having evaporated I was a mere corpse. My
limbs were of dough and my spinal cord burned within me as if it were
red-hot wire. But just at this time we were discovered by a Spanish
patrol, and I ascertained that I was not dead at all. We ultimately
reached the foot of the mother-mountain on whose shoulders were the
Cuban pickets, and here I was so sure of safety that I could not resist
the temptation to die again. I think I passed into eleven distinct
stupors during the ascent of that mountain while the escort stood
leaning on their Remingtons. We had done twenty-five miles at a sort of
a man-gallop, never once using a beaten track, but always going
promiscuously through the jungle and over the rocks. And many of the
miles stood straight on end so that it was as hard to come down as it
was to go up. But during my stupors, the escort stood, mind you,
and chatted in low voices. For all the signs they showed, we might have
been starting. And they had had nothing to eat but mangoes for over
eight days. Previous to the eight days they had been living on mangoes
and the carcase of a small lean pony. They were, in fact, of the stuff
of Fenimore Cooper's Indians, only they made no preposterous orations.
At the major's camp, my friend and I agreed that if our worthy escort
would send down a representative with us to the coast, we would send
back to them whatever we could spare from the stores of our
despatch-boat. With one voice the escort answered that they themselves
would go the additional four leagues, as in these starving times they
did not care to trust a representative, thank you. "They can't do it;
they'll peg out; there must be a limit," I said. "No," answered my
friend. "They're all right; they'd run three times around the whole
island for a mouthful of beer." So we saddled up and put off with our
fifteen Cuban infantrymen wagging along tirelessly behind us.
Sometimes, at the foot of a precipitous hill, a man asked permission to
cling to my horse's tail, and then the Jamaica pony would snake him to
the summit so swiftly that only his toes seemed to touch the rocks. And
for this assistance the man was grateful. When we crowned the last
great ridge we saw our squadron to the eastward spread in its patient
semicircular about the mouth of the harbour. But as we wound towards
the beach we saw a more dramatic thing—our own despatch-boat leaving
the rendezvous and putting off to sea. Evidently we were late. Behind
me were fifteen stomachs, empty. It was a frightful situation. My
friend and I charged for the beach and those fifteen fools began to
run.
It was no use. The despatch-boat went gaily away trailing black smoke
behind her. We turned in distress wondering what we could say to that
abused escort. If they massacred us, I felt that it would be merely a
virtuous reply to fate and they should in no ways be blamed. There are
some things which a man's feelings will not allow him to endure after a
diet of mangoes and pony. However, we perceived to our amazement that
they were not indignant at all. They simply smiled and made a gesture
which expressed an habitual pessimism. It was a philosophy which denied
the existence of everything but mangoes and pony. It was the Americans
who refused to be comforted. I made a deep vow with myself that I would
come as soon as possible and play a regular Santa Claus to that
splendid escort. But—we put to sea in a dug-out with two black boys.
The escort waved us a hearty good-bye from the shore and I never saw
them again. I hope they are all on the police-force in the new
Santiago.
In time we were rescued from the dug-out by our despatch-boat, and we
relieved our feelings by over-rewarding the two black boys. In fact
they reaped a harvest because of our emotion over our failure to fill
the gallant stomachs of the escort. They were two rascals. We steamed
to the flagship and were given permission to board her. Admiral Sampson
is to me the most interesting personality of the war. I would not know
how to sketch him for you even if I could pretend to sufficient
material. Anyhow, imagine, first of all, a marble block of impassivity
out of which is carved the figure of an old man. Endow this with life,
and you've just begun. Then you must discard all your pictures of
bluff, red-faced old gentlemen who roar against the gale, and
understand that the quiet old man is a sailor and an admiral. This will
be difficult; if I told you he was anything else it would be easy. He
resembles other types; it is his distinction not to resemble the
preconceived type of his standing. When first I met him I was impressed
that he was immensely bored by the war and with the command of the
North Atlantic Squadron. I perceived a manner where I thought I
perceived a mood, a point of view. Later, he seemed so indifferent to
small things which bore upon large things that I bowed to his apathy as
a thing unprecedented, marvellous. Still I mistook a manner for a mood.
Still I could not understand that this was the way of the man. I am not
to blame, for my communication was slight and depended upon
sufferance—upon, in fact, the traditional courtesy of the navy. But
finally I saw that it was all manner, that hidden in his indifferent,
even apathetic, manner, there was the alert, sure, fine mind of the
best sea-captain that America has produced since—since Farragut? I
don't know. I think—since Hull.
Men follow heartily when they are well led. They balk at trifles when a
blockhead cries go on. For my part, an impressive thing of the war is
the absolute devotion to Admiral Sampson's person—no, to his judgment
and wisdom—which was paid by his ship-commanders—Evans of the
Iowa, Taylor of the Oregon, Higginson of the
Massachusetts, Phillips of the Texas, and all the other
captains—barring one. Once, afterward, they called upon him to avenge
himself upon a rival—they were there and they would have to say—but
he said no-o-o, he guessed it—wouldn't do—any—g-o-oo-o-d—to
the—service.
Men feared him, but he never made threats; men tumbled heels over head
to obey him, but he never gave a sharp order; men loved him, but he
said no word, kindly or unkindly; men cheered for him and he said: "Who
are they yelling for?" Men behaved badly to him and he said nothing.
Men thought of glory and he considered the management of ships. All
without a sound. A noiseless campaign—on his part. No bunting, no
arches, no fireworks; nothing but the perfect management of a big
fleet. That is a record for you. No trumpets, no cheers of the
populace. Just plain, pure, unsauced accomplishment. But ultimately he
will reap his reward in—in what? In text-books on sea-campaigns. No
more. The people choose their own and they choose the kind they like.
Who has a better right? Anyhow he is a great man. And when you are once
started you can continue to be a great man without the help of bouquets
and banquets. He don't need them—bless your heart.
The flag-ship's battle-hatches were down, and between decks it was
insufferable despite the electric fans. I made my way somewhat
forwards, past the smart orderly, past the companion, on to the den of
the junior mess. Even there they were playing cards in somebody's
cabin. "Hello, old man. Been ashore? How'd it look? It's your deal,
Chick." There was nothing but steamy wet heat and the decent
suppression of the consequent ill-tempers. The junior officers'
quarters were no more comfortable than the admiral's cabin. I had
expected it to be so because of my remembrance of their gay spirits.
But they were not gay. They were sweltering. Hello, old man, had I been
ashore? I fled to the deck, where other officers not on duty were
smoking quiet cigars. The hospitality of the officers of the flag-ship
is another charming memory of the war.
I rolled into my berth on the despatch-boat that night feeling a
perfect wonder of the day. Was the figure that leaned over the
card-game on the flag-ship, the figure with a whisky and soda in its
hand and a cigar in its teeth—was it identical with the figure
scrambling, afraid of its life, through Cuban jungle? Was it the figure
of the situation of the fifteen pathetic hungry men? It was the same
and it went to sleep, hard sleep. I don't know where we voyaged. I
think it was Jamaica. But, at any rate, upon the morning of our return
to the Cuban coast, we found the sea alive with transports—United
States transports from Tampa, containing the Fifth Army Corps under
Major-General Shafter. The rigging and the decks of these ships were
black with men and everybody wanted to land first. I landed,
ultimately, and immediately began to look for an acquaintance. The
boats were banged by the waves against a little flimsy dock. I fell
ashore somehow, but I did not at once find an acquaintance. I talked to
a private in the 2d Massachusetts Volunteers who told me that he was
going to write war correspondence for a Boston newspaper. This
statement did not surprise me.
There was a straggly village, but I followed the troops who at this
time seemed to be moving out by companies. I found three other
correspondents and it was luncheon time. Somebody had two bottles of
Bass, but it was so warm that it squirted out in foam. There was no
firing; no noise of any kind. An old shed was full of soldiers loafing
pleasantly in the shade. It was a hot, dusty, sleepy afternoon; bees
hummed. We saw Major-General Lawton standing with his staff under a
tree. He was smiling as if he would say: "Well, this will be better
than chasing Apaches." His division had the advance, and so he had the
right to be happy. A tall man with a grey moustache, light but very
strong, an ideal cavalryman. He appealed to one all the more because of
the vague rumours that his superiors—some of them—were going to take
mighty good care that he shouldn't get much to do. It was rather
sickening to hear such talk, but later we knew that most of it must
have been mere lies.
Down by the landing-place a band of correspondents were making a sort
of permanent camp. They worked like Trojans, carrying wall-tents, cots,
and boxes of provisions. They asked me to join them, but I looked
shrewdly at the sweat on their faces and backed away. The next day the
army left this permanent camp eight miles to the rear. The day became
tedious. I was glad when evening came. I sat by a camp-fire and
listened to a soldier of the 8th Infantry who told me that he was the
first enlisted man to land. I lay pretending to appreciate him, but in
fact I considered him a great shameless liar. Less than a month ago, I
learned that every word he said was gospel truth. I was much surprised.
We went for breakfast to the camp of the 20th Infantry, where Captain
Greene and his subaltern, Exton, gave us tomatoes stewed with hard
bread and coffee. Later, I discovered Greene and Exton down at the
beach good-naturedly dodging the waves which seemed to be trying to
prevent them from washing the breakfast dishes. I felt tremendously
ashamed because my cup and my plate were there, you know, and—— Fate
provides some men greased opportunities for making dizzy jackasses of
themselves and I fell a victim to my flurry on this occasion. I was a
blockhead. I walked away blushing. What? The battles? Yes, I saw
something of all of them. I made up my mind that the next time I met
Greene and Exton I'd say: "Look here; why didn't you tell me you had to
wash your own dishes that morning so that I could have helped? I felt
beastly when I saw you scrubbing there. And me walking around idly."
But I never saw Captain Greene again. I think he is in the Philippines
now fighting the Tagals. The next time I saw Exton—what? Yes, La
Guasimas. That was the "rough rider fight." However, the next time I
saw Exton I—what do you think? I forgot to speak about it. But if ever
I meet Greene or Exton again—even if it should be twenty years—I am
going to say, first thing: "Why——" What? Yes. Roosevelt's regiment
and the First and Tenth Regular Cavalry. I'll say, first thing: "Say,
why didn't you tell me you had to wash your own dishes, that morning,
so that I could have helped?" My stupidity will be on my conscience
until I die, if, before that, I do not meet either Greene or Exton. Oh,
yes, you are howling for blood, but I tell you it is more emphatic that
I lost my tooth-brush. Did I tell you that? Well, I lost it, you see,
and I thought of it for ten hours at a stretch. Oh, yes—he? He was
shot through the heart. But, look here, I contend that the French cable
company buncoed us throughout the war. What? Him? My tooth-brush I
never found, but he died of his wound in time. Most of the regular
soldiers carried their tooth-brushes stuck in the bands of their hats.
It made a quaint military decoration. I have had a line of a thousand
men pass me in the jungle and not a hat lacking the simple emblem.
The first of July? All right. My Jamaica polo-pony was not present. He
was still in the hills to the westward of Santiago, but the Cubans had
promised to fetch him to me. But my kit was easy to carry. It had
nothing superfluous in it but a pair of spurs which made me indignant
every time I looked at them. Oh, but I must tell you about a man I met
directly after the La Guasimas fight. Edward Marshall, a correspondent
whom I had known with a degree of intimacy for seven years, was
terribly hit in that fight and asked me if I would not go to
Siboney—the base—and convey the news to his colleagues of the New
York Journal and round up some assistance. I went to Siboney, and
there was not a Journal man to be seen, although usually you
judged from appearances that the Journal staff was about as
large as the army. Presently I met two correspondents, strangers to me,
but I questioned them, saying that Marshall was badly shot and wished
for such succour as Journal men could bring from their
despatch-boat. And one of these correspondents replied. He is the man I
wanted to describe. I love him as a brother. He said: "Marshall?
Marshall? Why, Marshall isn't in Cuba at all. He left for New York just
before the expedition sailed from Tampa." I said: "Beg pardon, but I
remarked that Marshall was shot in the fight this morning, and have you
seen any Journal people?" After a pause, he said: "I am sure
Marshall is not down here at all. He's in New York." I said: "Pardon
me, but I remarked that Marshall was shot in the fight this morning,
and have you seen any Journal people?" He said: "No; now look
here, you must have gotten two chaps mixed somehow. Marshall isn't in
Cuba at all. How could he be shot?" I said: "Pardon me, but I remarked
that Marshall was shot in the fight this morning, and have you seen any
Journal people?" He said: "But it can't really be Marshall, you
know, for the simple reason that he's not down here." I clasped my
hands to my temples, gave one piercing cry to heaven and fled from his
presence. I couldn't go on with him. He excelled me at all points. I
have faced death by bullets, fire, water, and disease, but to die
thus—to wilfully batter myself against the ironclad opinion of this
mummy—no, no, not that. In the meantime, it was admitted that a
correspondent was shot, be his name Marshall, Bismarck, or Louis XIV.
Now, supposing the name of this wounded correspondent had been Bishop
Potter? Or Jane Austen? Or Bernhardt? Or Henri Georges Stephane Adolphe
Opper de Blowitz? What effect—never mind.
We will proceed to July 1st. On that morning I marched with my
kit—having everything essential save a tooth-brush—the entire army
put me to shame, since there must have been at least fifteen thousand
tooth-brushes in the invading force—I marched with my kit on the road
to Santiago. It was a fine morning and everybody—the doomed and the
immunes—how could we tell one from the other—everybody was in the
highest spirits. We were enveloped in forest, but we could hear, from
ahead, everybody peppering away at everybody. It was like the roll of
many drums. This was Lawton over at El Caney. I reflected with
complacency that Lawton's division did not concern me in a professional
way. That was the affair of another man. My business was with Kent's
division and Wheeler's division. We came to El Poso—a hill at nice
artillery range from the Spanish defences. Here Grimes's battery was
shooting a duel with one of the enemy's batteries. Scovel had
established a little camp in the rear of the guns and a servant had
made coffee. I invited Whigham to have coffee, and the servant added
some hard biscuit and tinned tongue. I noted that Whigham was staring
fixedly over my shoulder, and that he waved away the tinned tongue with
some bitterness. It was a horse, a dead horse. Then a mule, which had
been shot through the nose, wandered up and looked at Whigham. We ran
away.
On top of the hill one had a fine view of the Spanish lines. We stared
across almost a mile of jungle to ash-coloured trenches on the military
crest of the ridge. A goodly distance back of this position were white
buildings, all flying great red-cross flags. The jungle beneath us
rattled with firing and the Spanish trenches crackled out regular
volleys, but all this time there was nothing to indicate a tangible
enemy. In truth, there was a man in a Panama hat strolling to and fro
behind one of the Spanish trenches, gesticulating at times with a
walking stick. A man in a Panama hat, walking with a stick! That was
the strangest sight of my life—that symbol, that quaint figure of
Mars. The battle, the thunderous row, was his possession. He was the
master. He mystified us all with his infernal Panama hat and his
wretched walking-stick. From near his feet came volleys and from near
his side came roaring shells, but he stood there alone, visible, the
one tangible thing. He was a Colossus, and he was half as high as a
pin, this being. Always somebody would be saying: "Who can that
fellow be?"
Later, the American guns shelled the trenches and a blockhouse near
them, and Mars had vanished. It could not have been death. One cannot
kill Mars. But there was one other figure, which arose to symbolic
dignity. The balloon of our signal corps had swung over the tops of the
jungle's trees toward the Spanish trenches. Whereat the balloon and the
man in the Panama hat and with a walking stick—whereat these two waged
tremendous battle.
Suddenly the conflict became a human thing. A little group of blue
figures appeared on the green of the terrible hillside. It was some of
our infantry. The attaché of a great empire was at my shoulder, and he
turned to me and spoke with incredulity and scorn. "Why, they're trying
to take the position," he cried, and I admitted meekly that I thought
they were. "But they can't do it, you know," he protested vehemently.
"It's impossible." And—good fellow that he was—he began to grieve and
wail over a useless sacrifice of gallant men. "It's plucky, you know!
By Gawd, it's plucky! But they can't do it!" He was profoundly
moved; his voice was quite broken. "It will simply be a hell of a
slaughter with no good coming out of it."
The trail was already crowded with stretcher-bearers and with wounded
men who could walk. One had to stem a tide of mute agony. But I don't
know that it was mute agony. I only know that it was mute. It was
something in which the silence or, more likely, the reticence was an
appalling and inexplicable fact. One's senses seemed to demand that
these men should cry out. But you could really find wounded men who
exhibited all the signs of a pleased and contented mood. When thinking
of it now it seems strange beyond words. But at the time—I don't
know—it did not attract one's wonder. A man with a hole in his arm or
his shoulder, or even in the leg below the knee, was often whimsical,
comic. "Well, this ain't exactly what I enlisted for, boys. If I'd been
told about this in Tampa, I'd have resigned from th' army. Oh, yes, you
can get the same thing if you keep on going. But I think the Spaniards
may run out of ammunition in the course of a week or ten days." Then
suddenly one would be confronted by the awful majesty of a man shot in
the face. Particularly I remember one. He had a great dragoon
moustache, and the blood streamed down his face to meet this moustache
even as a torrent goes to meet the jammed log, and then swarmed out to
the tips and fell in big slow drops. He looked steadily into my eyes; I
was ashamed to return his glance. You understand? It is very
curious—all that.
The two lines of battle were royally whacking away at each other, and
there was no rest or peace in all that region. The modern bullet is a
far-flying bird. It rakes the air with its hot spitting song at
distances which, as a usual thing, place the whole landscape in the
danger-zone. There was no direction from which they did not come. A
chart of their courses over one's head would have resembled a spider's
web. My friend Jimmie, the photographer, mounted to the firing line
with me and we gallivanted as much as we dared. The "sense of the
meeting" was curious. Most of the men seemed to have no idea of a grand
historic performance, but they were grimly satisfied with themselves.
"Well, begawd, we done it." Then they wanted to know about other parts
of the line. "How are things looking, old man? Everything all right?"
"Yes, everything is all right if you can hold this ridge." "Aw, hell,"
said the men, "we'll hold the ridge. Don't you worry about that, son."
It was Jimmie's first action, and, as we cautiously were making our way
to the right of our lines, the crash of the Spanish fire became
uproarious, and the air simply whistled. I heard a quavering voice near
my shoulder, and, turning, I beheld Jimmie—Jimmie—with a face
bloodless, white as paper. He looked at me with eyes opened extremely
wide. "Say," he said, "this is pretty hot, ain't it?" I was delighted. I
knew exactly what he meant. He wanted to have the situation defined. If
I had told him that this was the occasion of some mere idle desultory
firing and recommended that he wait until the real battle began, I
think he would have gone in a bee-line for the rear. But I told him the
truth. "Yes, Jimmie," I replied earnestly. "You can take it from me
that this is patent, double-extra-what-for." And immediately he nodded.
"All right." If this was a big action, then he was willing to pay in
his fright as a rational price for the privilege of being present. But
if this was only a penny affray, he considered the price exorbitant,
and he would go away. He accepted my assurance with simple faith, and
deported himself with kindly dignity as one moving amid great things.
His face was still as pale as paper, but that counted for nothing. The
main point was his perfect willingness to be frightened for reasons. I
wonder where is Jimmie? I lent him the Jamaica polo-pony one day and it
ran away with him and flung him off in the middle of a ford. He
appeared to me afterward and made bitter speech concerning this horse
which I had assured him was a gentle and pious animal. Then I never saw
Jimmie again.
Then came the night of the first of July. A group of correspondents
limped back to El Poso. It had been a day so long that the morning
seemed as remote as a morning in the previous year. But I have
forgotten to tell you about Reuben McNab. Many years ago, I went to
school at a place called Claverack, in New York State, where there was
a semi-military institution. Contemporaneous with me, as a student, was
Reuben McNab, a long, lank boy, freckled, sandy-haired—an
extraordinary boy in no way, and yet, I wager, a boy clearly marked in
every recollection. Perhaps there is a good deal in that name. Reuben
McNab. You can't fling that name carelessly over your shoulder and lose
it. It follows you like the haunting memory of a sin. At any rate,
Reuben McNab was identified intimately in my thought with the sunny
irresponsible days at Claverack, when all the earth was a green field
and all the sky was a rainless blue. Then I looked down into a
miserable huddle at Bloody Bend, a huddle of hurt men, dying men, dead
men. And there I saw Reuben McNab, a corporal in the 71st New York
Volunteers, and with a hole through his lung. Also, several holes
through his clothing. "Well, they got me," he said in greeting. Usually
they said that. There were no long speeches. "Well, they got me." That
was sufficient. The duty of the upright, unhurt, man is then difficult.
I doubt if many of us learned how to speak to our own wounded. In the
first place, one had to play that the wound was nothing; oh, a mere
nothing; a casual interference with movement, perhaps, but nothing
more; oh, really nothing more. In the second place, one had to show a
comrade's appreciation of this sad plight. As a result I think most of
us bungled and stammered in the presence of our wounded friends. That's
curious, eh? "Well, they got me," said Reuben McNab. I had looked upon
five hundred wounded men with stolidity, or with a conscious
indifference which filled me with amazement. But the apparition of
Reuben McNab, the schoolmate, lying there in the mud, with a hole
through his lung, awed me into stutterings, set me trembling with a
sense of terrible intimacy with this war which theretofore I could have
believed was a dream—almost. Twenty shot men rolled their eyes and
looked at me. Only one man paid no heed. He was dying; he had no time.
The bullets hummed low over them all. Death, having already struck,
still insisted upon raising a venomous crest. "If you're goin' by the
hospital, step in and see me," said Reuben McNab. That was all.
At the correspondents' camp, at El Poso, there was hot coffee. It was
very good. I have a vague sense of being very selfish over my blanket
and rubber coat. I have a vague sense of spasmodic firing during my
sleep; it rained, and then I awoke to hear that steady drumming of an
infantry fire—something which was never to cease, it seemed. They were
at it again. The trail from El Poso to the positions along San Juan
ridge had become an exciting thoroughfare. Shots from large-bore rifles
dropped in from almost every side. At this time the safest place was
the extreme front. I remember in particular the one outcry I heard. A
private in the 71st, without his rifle, had gone to a stream for some
water, and was returning, being but a little in rear of me. Suddenly I
heard this cry—"Oh, my God, come quick"—and I was conscious then to
having heard the hateful zip of a close shot. He lay on the ground,
wriggling. He was hit in the hip. Two men came quickly. Presently
everybody seemed to be getting knocked down. They went over like men of
wet felt, quietly, calmly, with no more complaint than so many
automatons. It was only that lad—"Oh, my God, come quick." Otherwise,
men seemed to consider that their hurts were not worthy of particular
attention. A number of people got killed very courteously, tacitly
absolving the rest of us from any care in the matter. A man fell; he
turned blue; his face took on an expression of deep sorrow; and then
his immediate friends worried about him, if he had friends. This was
July 1. I crave the permission to leap back again to that date.
On the morning of July 2, I sat on San Juan hill and watched Lawton's
division come up. I was absolutely sheltered, but still where I could
look into the faces of men who were trotting up under fire. There
wasn't a high heroic face among them. They were all men intent on
business. That was all. It may seem to you that I am trying to make
everything a squalor. That would be wrong. I feel that things were
often sublime. But they were differently sublime. They were not
of our shallow and preposterous fictions. They stood out in a simple,
majestic commonplace. It was the behaviour of men on the street. It was
the behaviour of men. In one way, each man was just pegging along at
the heels of the man before him, who was pegging along at the heels of
still another man, who was pegging along at the heels of still another
man who—— It was that in the flat and obvious way. In another way it
was pageantry, the pageantry of the accomplishment of naked duty. One
cannot speak of it—the spectacle of the common man serenely doing his
work, his appointed work. It is the one thing in the universe which
makes one fling expression to the winds and be satisfied to simply
feel. Thus they moved at San Juan—the soldiers of the United States
Regular Army. One pays them the tribute of the toast of silence.
Lying near one of the enemy's trenches was a red-headed Spanish corpse.
I wonder how many hundreds were cognisant of this red-headed Spanish
corpse? It arose to the dignity of a landmark. There were many corpses
but only one with a red head. This red-head. He was always there. Each
time I approached that part of the field I prayed that I might find
that he had been buried. But he was always there—red-headed. His
strong simple countenance was a malignant sneer at the system which was
forever killing the credulous peasants in a sort of black night of
politics, where the peasants merely followed whatever somebody had told
them was lofty and good. But, nevertheless, the red-headed Spaniard was
dead. He was irrevocably dead. And to what purpose? The honour of
Spain? Surely the honour of Spain could have existed without the
violent death of this poor red-headed peasant? Ah well, he was buried
when the heavy firing ceased and men had time for such small things as
funerals. The trench was turned over on top of him. It was a fine,
honourable, soldierly fate—to be buried in a trench, the trench of the
fight and the death. Sleep well, red-headed peasant. You came to
another hemisphere to fight because—because you were told to, I
suppose. Well, there you are, buried in your trench on San Juan hill.
That is the end of it, your life has been taken—that is a flat, frank
fact. And foreigners buried you expeditiously while speaking a strange
tongue. Sleep well, red-headed mystery.
On the day before the destruction of Cervera's fleet, I steamed past
our own squadron, doggedly lying in its usual semicircle, every nose
pointing at the mouth of the harbour. I went to Jamaica, and on the
placid evening of the next day I was again steaming past our own
squadron, doggedly lying in its usual semicircle, every nose pointing
at the mouth of the harbour. A megaphone-hail from the bridge of one of
the yacht-gunboats came casually over the water. "Hello! hear the
news?" "No; what was it?" "The Spanish fleet came out this morning."
"Oh, of course, it did." "Honest, I mean." "Yes, I know; well, where
are they now?" "Sunk." Was there ever such a preposterous statement? I
was humiliated that my friend, the lieutenant on the yacht-gunboat,
should have measured me as one likely to swallow this bad joke.
But it was all true; every word. I glanced back at our squadron, lying
in its usual semicircle, every nose pointing at the mouth of the
harbour. It would have been absurd to think that anything had happened.
The squadron hadn't changed a button. There it sat without even a smile
on the face of the tiger. And it had eaten four armoured cruisers and
two torpedo-boat-destroyers while my back was turned for a moment.
Courteously, but clearly, we announced across the waters that until
despatch-boats came to be manned from the ranks of the celebrated
horse-marines, the lieutenant's statement would probably remain
unappreciated. He made a gesture, abandoning us to our scepticism. It
infuriates an honourable and serious man to be taken for a liar or a
joker at a time when he is supremely honourable and serious. However,
when we went ashore, we found Siboney ringing with the news. It was
true, then; that mishandled collection of sick ships had come out and
taken the deadly thrashing which was rightfully the due of—I don't
know—somebody in Spain—or perhaps nobody anywhere. One likes to
wallop incapacity, but one has mingled emotions over the incapacity
which is not so much personal as it is the development of centuries.
This kind of incapacity cannot be centralised. You cannot hit the head
which contains it all. This is the idea, I imagine, which moved the
officers and men of our fleet. Almost immediately they began to speak
of the Spanish Admiral as "poor old boy" with a lucid suggestion in
their tones that his fate appealed to them as being undue hard, undue
cruel. And yet the Spanish guns hit nothing. If a man shoots, he should
hit something occasionally, and men say that from the time the Spanish
ships broke clear of the harbour entrance until they were one by one
overpowered, they were each a band of flame. Well, one can only mumble
out that when a man shoots he should be required to hit something
occasionally.
In truth, the greatest fact of the whole campaign on land and sea seems
to be the fact that the Spaniards could only hit by chance, by a fluke.
If he had been an able marksman, no man of our two unsupported
divisions would have set foot on San Juan hill on July 1. They should
have been blown to smithereens. The Spaniards had no immediate lack of
ammunition, for they fired enough to kill the population of four big
cities. I admit neither Velasquez nor Cervantes into this discussion,
although they have appeared by authority as reasons for something which
I do not clearly understand. Well, anyhow they couldn't hit anything.
Velasquez? Yes. Cervantes? Yes. But the Spanish troops seemed only to
try to make a very rapid fire. Thus we lost many men. We lost them
because of the simple fury of the fire; never because the fire was
well-directed, intelligent. But the Americans were called upon to be
whipped because of Cervantes and Velasquez. It was impossible.
Out on the slopes of San Juan the dog-tents shone white. Some kind of
negotiations were going forward, and men sat on their trousers and
waited. It was all rather a blur of talks with officers, and a craving
for good food and good water. Once Leighton and I decided to ride over
to El Caney, into which town the civilian refugees from Santiago were
pouring. The road from the beleaguered city to the out-lying village
was a spectacle to make one moan. There were delicate gentle families
on foot, the silly French boots of the girls twisting and turning in a
sort of absolute paper futility; there were sons and grandsons carrying
the venerable patriarch in his own armchair; there were exhausted
mothers with babes who wailed; there were young dandies with their
toilettes in decay; there were puzzled, guideless women who didn't know
what had happened. The first sentence one heard was the murmurous "What
a damn shame." We saw a godless young trooper of the Second Cavalry
sharply halt a waggon. "Hold on a minute. You must carry this woman.
She's fainted twice already." The virtuous driver of the U.S. Army
waggon mildly answered: "But I'm full-up now." "You can make room for
her," said the private of the Second Cavalry. A young, young man with a
straight mouth. It was merely a plain bit of nothing—at—all but,
thank God, thank God, he seemed to have not the slightest sense of
excellence. He said: "If you've got any man in there who can walk at
all, you put him out and let this woman get in." "But," answered the
teamster, "I'm filled up with a lot of cripples and grandmothers."
Thereupon they discussed the point fairly, and ultimately the woman was
lifted into the waggon.
The vivid thing was the fact that these people did not visibly suffer.
Somehow they were numb. There was not a tear. There was rarely a
countenance which was not wondrously casual. There was no sign of
fatalistic theory. It was simply that what was happening to-day had
happened yesterday, as near as one could judge. I could fancy that
these people had been thrown out of their homes every day. It was
utterly, utterly casual. And they accepted the ministrations of our men
in the same fashion. Everything was a matter of course. I had a filled
canteen. I was frightfully conscious of this fact because a filled
canteen was a pearl of price; it was a great thing. It was an enormous
accident which led one to offer praises that he was luckier than ten
thousand better men.
As Leighton and I rode along, we came to a tree under which a refugee
family had halted. They were a man, his wife, two handsome daughters
and a pimply son. It was plain that they were superior people, because
the girls had dressed for the exodus and wore corsets which captivated
their forms with a steel-ribbed vehemence only proper for wear on a
sun-blistered road to a distant town. They asked us for water. Water
was the gold of the moment. Leighton was almost maudlin in his
generosity. I remember being angry with him. He lavished upon them his
whole canteen and he received in return not even a glance of—what?
Acknowledgment? No, they didn't even admit anything. Leighton wasn't a
human being; he was some sort of a mountain spring. They accepted him
on a basis of pure natural phenomena. His canteen was purely an
occurrence. In the meantime the pimple-faced approached me. He asked
for water and held out a pint cup. My response was immediate. I tilted
my canteen and poured into his cup almost a pint of my treasure. He
glanced into the cup and apparently he beheld there some innocent
sediment for which he alone or his people were responsible. In the
American camps the men were accustomed to a sediment. Well, he glanced
at my poor cupful and then negligently poured it out on the ground and
held up his cup for more. I gave him more; I gave him his cup full
again, but there was something within me which made me swear him out
completely. But he didn't understand a word. Afterward I watched if
they were capable of being moved to help on their less able fellows on
this miserable journey. Not they! Nor yet anybody else. Nobody cared
for anybody save my young friend of the Second Cavalry, who rode
seriously to and fro doing his best for people, who took him as a
result of a strange upheaval.
The fight at El Caney had been furious. General Vera del Rey with
somewhat less than 1000 men—the Spanish accounts say 520—had there
made such a stand that only about 80 battered soldiers ever emerged
from it. The attack cost Lawton about 400 men. The magazine rifle! But
the town was now a vast parrot-cage of chattering refugees. If, on the
road, they were silent, stolid and serene, in the town they found their
tongues and set up such a cackle as one may seldom hear. Notably the
women; it is they who invariably confuse the definition of situations,
and one could wonder in amaze if this crowd of irresponsible, gabbling
hens had already forgotten that this town was the deathbed, so to
speak, of scores of gallant men whose blood was not yet dry; whose
hands, of the hue of pale amber, stuck from the soil of the hasty
burial. On the way to El Caney I had conjured a picture of the women of
Santiago, proud in their pain, their despair, dealing glances of
defiance, contempt, hatred at the invader; fiery ferocious ladies, so
true to their vanquished and to their dead that they spurned the very
existence of the low-bred churls who lacked both Velasquez and
Cervantes. And instead, there was this mere noise, which reminded one
alternately of a tea-party in Ireland, a village fête in the south of
France, and the vacuous morning screech of a swarm of sea-gulls. "Good.
There is Donna Maria. This will lower her high head. This will teach
her better manners to her neighbours. She wasn't too grand to send her
rascal of a servant to borrow a trifle of coffee of me in the morning,
and then when I met her on the calle—por Dios, she was too blind to
see me. But we are all equal here. No? Little Juan has a sore toe. Yes,
Donna Maria; many thanks, many thanks. Juan, do me the favour to be
quiet while Donna Maria is asking about your toe. Oh, Donna Maria, we
were always poor, always. But you. My heart bleeds when I see how hard
this is for you. The old cat! She gives me a head-shake."
Pushing through the throng in the plaza we came in sight of the door of
the church, and here was a strange scene. The church had been turned
into a hospital for Spanish wounded who had fallen into American hands.
The interior of the church was too cave-like in its gloom for the eyes
of the operating surgeons, so they had had the altar table carried to
the doorway, where there was a bright light. Framed then in the black
archway was the altar table with the figure of a man upon it. He was
naked save for a breech-clout and so close, so clear was the
ecclesiastic suggestion, that one's mind leaped to a phantasy that this
thin, pale figure had just been torn down from a cross. The flash of
the impression was like light, and for this instant it illumined all
the dark recesses of one's remotest idea of sacrilege, ghastly and
wanton. I bring this to you merely as an effect, an effect of mental
light and shade, if you like; something done in thought similar to that
which the French impressionists do in colour; something meaningless and
at the same time overwhelming, crushing, monstrous. "Poor devil; I
wonder if he'll pull through," said Leighton. An American surgeon and
his assistants were intent over the prone figure. They wore white
aprons. Something small and silvery flashed in the surgeon's hand. An
assistant held the merciful sponge close to the man's nostrils, but he
was writhing and moaning in some horrible dream of this artificial
sleep. As the surgeon's instrument played, I fancied that the man
dreamed that he was being gored by a bull. In his pleading, delirious
babble occurred constantly the name of the Virgin, the Holy Mother.
"Good morning," said the surgeon. He changed his knife to his left hand
and gave me a wet palm. The tips of his fingers were wrinkled,
shrunken, like those of a boy who has been in swimming too long. Now,
in front of the door, there were three American sentries, and it was
their business to—to do what? To keep this Spanish crowd from swarming
over the operating table! It was perforce a public clinic. They would
not be denied. The weaker women and the children jostled according to
their might in the rear, while the stronger people, gaping in the front
rank, cried out impatiently when the pushing disturbed their long
stares. One burned with a sudden gift of public oratory. One wanted to
say: "Oh, go away, go away, go away. Leave the man decently alone with
his pain, you gogglers. This is not the national sport."
But within the church there was an audience of another kind. This was
of the other wounded men awaiting their turn. They lay on their brown
blankets in rows along the stone floor. Their eyes, too, were fastened
upon the operating-table, but—that was different. Meek-eyed little
yellow men lying on the floor awaiting their turns.
One afternoon I was seated with a correspondent friend, on the porch of
one of the houses at Siboney. A vast man on horseback came riding along
at a foot pace. When he perceived my friend, he pulled up sharply.
"Whoa! Where's that mule I lent you?" My friend arose and saluted.
"I've got him all right, General, thank you," said my friend. The vast
man shook his finger. "Don't you lose him now." "No, sir, I won't;
thank you, sir." The vast man rode away. "Who the devil is that?" said
I. My friend laughed. "That's General Shafter," said he.
I gave five dollars for the Bos'n—small, black, spry imp of Jamaica
sin. When I first saw him he was the property of a fireman on the
Criton. The fireman had found him—a little wharf rat—in Port
Antonio. It was not the purchase of a slave; it was that the fireman
believed that he had spent about five dollars on a lot of comic
supplies for the Bos'n, including a little suit of sailor clothes. The
Bos'n was an adroit and fantastic black gamin. His eyes were like white
lights, and his teeth were a row of little piano keys; otherwise he was
black. He had both been a jockey and a cabin-boy, and he had the
manners of a gentleman. After he entered my service I don't think there
was ever an occasion upon which he was useful, save when he told me
quaint stories of Guatemala, in which country he seemed to have lived
some portion of his infantile existence. Usually he ran funny errands
like little foot-races, each about fifteen yards in length. At Siboney
he slept under my hammock like a poodle, and I always expected that,
through the breaking of a rope, I would some night descend and
obliterate him. His incompetence was spectacular. When I wanted him to
do a thing, the agony of supervision was worse than the agony of
personal performance. It would have been easier to have gotten my own
spurs or boots or blanket than to have the bother of this little
incapable's service. But the good aspect was the humorous view. He was
like a boy, a mouse, a scoundrel, and a devoted servitor. He was
immensely popular. His name of Bos'n became a Siboney stock-word.
Everybody knew it. It was a name like President McKinley, Admiral
Sampson, General Shafter. The Bos'n became a figure. One day he
approached me with four one-dollar notes in United States currency. He
besought me to preserve them for him, and I pompously tucked them away
in my riding breeches, with an air which meant that his funds were now
as safe as if they were in a national bank. Still, I asked with some
surprise, where he had reaped all this money. He frankly admitted at
once that it had been given to him by the enthusiastic soldiery as a
tribute to his charm of person and manner. This was not astonishing for
Siboney, where money was meaningless. Money was not worth
carrying—"packing." However, a soldier came to our house one morning,
and asked, "Got any more tobacco to sell?" As befitted men in virtuous
poverty, we replied with indignation. "What tobacco?" "Why, that
tobacco what the little nigger is sellin' round."
I said, "Bos'n!" He said, "Yes, mawstah." Wounded men on bloody
stretchers were being carried into the hospital next door. "Bos'n,
you've been stealing my tobacco." His defence was as glorious as the
defence of that forlorn hope in romantic history, which drew itself up
and mutely died. He lied as desperately, as savagely, as hopelessly as
ever man fought.
One day a delegation from the 33d Michigan came to me and said: "Are
you the proprietor of the Bos'n?" I said: "Yes." And they said: "Well,
would you please be so kind as to be so good as to give him to us?" A
big battle was expected for the next day. "Why," I answered, "if you
want him you can have him. But he's a thief, and I won't let him go
save on his personal announcement." The big battle occurred the next
day, and the Bos'n did not disappear in it; but he disappeared in my
interest in the battle, even as a waif might disappear in a fog. My
interest in the battle made the Bos'n dissolve before my eyes. Poor
little rascal! I gave him up with pain. He was such an innocent
villain. He knew no more of thievery than the whole of it. Anyhow one
was fond of him. He was a natural scoundrel. He was not an educated
scoundrel. One cannot bear the educated scoundrel. He was ingenuous,
simple, honest, abashed ruffianism.
I hope the 33d Michigan did not arrive home naked. I hope the Bos'n did
not succeed in getting everything. If the Bos'n builds a palace in
Detroit, I shall know where he got the money. He got it from the 33d
Michigan. Poor little man. He was only eleven years old. He vanished. I
had thought to preserve him as a relic, even as one preserves forgotten
bayonets and fragments of shell. And now as to the pocket of my
riding-breeches. It contained four dollars in United States currency.
Bos'n! Hey, Bos'n, where are you? The morning was the morning of
battle.
I was on San Juan Hill when Lieutenant Hobson and the men of the
Merrimac were exchanged and brought into the American lines.
Many of us knew that the exchange was about to be made, and gathered to
see the famous party. Some of our Staff officers rode out with three
Spanish officers —prisoners—these latter being blindfolded before
they were taken through the American position. The army was
majestically minding its business in the long line of trenches when its
eye caught sight of this little procession. "What's that? What they
goin' to do?" "They're goin' to exchange Hobson." Wherefore every man
who was foot-free staked out a claim where he could get a good view of
the liberated heroes, and two bands prepared to collaborate on "The
Star Spangled Banner." There was a very long wait through the sunshiny
afternoon. In our impatience, we imagined them—the Americans and
Spaniards—dickering away out there under the big tree like so many
peddlers. Once the massed bands, misled by a rumour, stiffened
themselves into that dramatic and breathless moment when each man is
ready to blow. But the rumour was exploded in the nick of time. We made
ill jokes, saying one to another that the negotiations had found
diplomacy to be a failure, and were playing freeze-out poker for the
whole batch of prisoners.
But suddenly the moment came. Along the cut roadway, toward the crowded
soldiers, rode three men, and it could be seen that the central one
wore the undress uniform of an officer of the United States navy. Most
of the soldiers were sprawled out on the grass, bored and wearied in
the sunshine. However, they aroused at the old circus-parade,
torch-light procession cry, "Here they come." Then the men of the
regular army did a thing. They arose en masse and came to
"Attention." Then the men of the regular army did another thing. They
slowly lifted every weather-beaten hat and drooped it until it touched
the knee. Then there was a magnificent silence, broken only by the
measured hoof-beats of the little company's horses as they rode through
the gap. It was solemn, funereal, this splendid silent welcome of a
brave man by men who stood on a hill which they had earned out of blood
and death—simply, honestly, with no sense of excellence, earned out of
blood and death.
Then suddenly the whole scene went to rubbish. Before he reached the
bottom of the hill, Hobson was bowing to right and left like another
Boulanger, and, above the thunder of the massed bands, one could hear
the venerable outbreak, "Mr. Hobson, I'd like to shake the hand of the
man who——" But the real welcome was that welcome of silence. However,
one could thrill again when the tail of the procession appeared—an
army waggon containing the blue-jackets of the Merrimac
adventure. I remember grinning heads stuck out from under the canvas
cover of the waggon. And the army spoke to the navy. "Well, Jackie, how
does it feel?" And the navy up and answered: "Great! Much obliged to
you fellers for comin' here." "Say, Jackie, what did they arrest ye for
anyhow? Stealin' a dawg?" The navy still grinned. Here was no rubbish.
Here was the mere exchange of language between men.
Some of us fell in behind this small but royal procession and followed
it to General Shafter's headquarters, some miles on the road to
Siboney. I have a vague impression that I watched the meeting between
Shafter and Hobson, but the impression ends there. However, I remember
hearing a talk between them as to Hobson's men, and then the
blue-jackets were called up to hear the congratulatory remarks of the
general in command of the Fifth Army Corps. It was a scene in the fine
shade of thickly-leaved trees. The general sat in his chair, his belly
sticking ridiculously out before him as if he had adopted some form of
artificial inflation. He looked like a joss. If the seamen had suddenly
begun to burn a few sticks, most of the spectators would have exhibited
no surprise. But the words he spoke were proper, clear, quiet,
soldierly, the words of one man to others. The Jackies were comic. At
the bidding of their officer they aligned themselves before the
general, grinned with embarrassment one to the other, made funny
attempts to correct the alignment, and—looked sheepish. They looked
sheepish. They looked like bad little boys flagrantly caught. They had
no sense of excellence. Here was no rubbish.
Very soon after this the end of the campaign came for me. I caught a
fever. I am not sure to this day what kind of a fever it was. It was
defined variously. I know, at any rate, that I first developed a
languorous indifference to everything in the world. Then I developed a
tendency to ride a horse even as a man lies on a cot. Then I—I am not
sure—I think I grovelled and groaned about Siboney for several days.
My colleagues, Scovel and George Rhea, found me and gave me of their
best, but I didn't know whether London Bridge was falling down or
whether there was a war with Spain. It was all the same. What of it?
Nothing of it. Everything had happened, perhaps. But I cared not a jot.
Life, death, dishonour—all were nothing to me. All I cared for was
pickles. Pickles at any price! Pickles!!
If I had been the father of a hundred suffering daughters, I should
have waved them all aside and remarked that they could be damned for
all I cared. It was not a mood. One can defeat a mood. It was a
physical situation. Sometimes one cannot defeat a physical situation. I
heard the talk of Siboney and sometimes I answered, but I was as
indifferent as the star-fish flung to die on the sands. The only fact
in the universe was that my veins burned and boiled. Rhea finally
staggered me down to the army-surgeon who had charge of the
proceedings, and the army-surgeon looked me over with a keen healthy
eye. Then he gave a permit that I should be sent home. The manipulation
from the shore to the transport was something which was Rhea's affair.
I am not sure whether we went in a boat or a balloon. I think it was a
boat. Rhea pushed me on board and I swayed meekly and unsteadily toward
the captain of the ship, a corpulent, well-conditioned, impickled
person pacing noisily on the spar-deck. "Ahem, yes; well; all right.
Have you got your own food? I hope, for Christ's sake, you don't expect
us to feed you, do you?" Whereupon I went to the rail and weakly yelled
at Rhea, but he was already afar. The captain was, meantime, remarking
in bellows that, for Christ's sake, I couldn't expect him to feed me. I
didn't expect to be fed. I didn't care to be fed. I wished for nothing
on earth but some form of painless pause, oblivion. The insults of this
old pie-stuffed scoundrel did not affect me then; they affect me now. I
would like to tell him that, although I like collies, fox-terriers, and
even screw-curled poodles, I do not like him. He was free to call me
superfluous and throw me overboard, but he was not free to coarsely
speak to a somewhat sick man. I—in fact I hate him—it is all wrong—I
lose whatever ethics I possessed—but—I hate him, and I demand that
you should imagine a milch cow endowed with a knowledge of navigation
and in command of a ship—and perfectly capable of commanding a
ship—oh, well, never mind.
I was crawling along the deck when somebody pounced violently upon me
and thundered: "Who in hell are you, sir?" I said I was a
correspondent. He asked me did I know that I had yellow fever. I said
No. He yelled, "Well, by Gawd, you isolate yourself, sir." I said;
"Where?" At this question he almost frothed at the mouth. I thought he
was going to strike me. "Where?" he roared. "How in hell do I know,
sir? I know as much about this ship as you do, sir. But you isolate
yourself, sir." My clouded brain tried to comprehend these orders. This
man was a doctor in the regular army, and it was necessary to obey him,
so I bestirred myself to learn what he meant by these gorilla outcries.
"All right, doctor; I'll isolate myself, but I wish you'd tell me where
to go." And then he passed into such volcanic humour that I clung to
the rail and gasped. "Isolate yourself, sir. Isolate yourself. That's
all I've got to say, sir. I don't give a God damn where you go, but
when you get there, stay there, sir." So I wandered away and ended up
on the deck aft, with my head against the flagstaff and my limp body
stretched on a little rug. I was not at all sorry for myself. I didn't
care a tent-peg. And yet, as I look back upon it now, the situation was
fairly exciting—a voyage of four or five days before me—no food—no
friends—above all else, no friends—isolated on deck, and rather ill.
When I returned to the United States, I was able to move my feminine
friends to tears by an account of this voyage, but, after all, it
wasn't so bad. They kept me on my small reservation aft, but plenty of
kindness loomed soon enough. At mess-time, they slid me a tin plate of
something, usually stewed tomatoes and bread. Men are always good men.
And, at any rate, most of the people were in worse condition than
I—poor bandaged chaps looking sadly down at the waves. In a way, I
knew the kind. First lieutenants at forty years of age, captains at
fifty, majors at 102, lieutenant-colonels at 620, full colonels at
1000, and brigadiers at 9,768,295 plus. A man had to live two billion
years to gain eminent rank in the regular army at that time. And, of
course, they all had trembling wives at remote western posts waiting to
hear the worst, the best, or the middle.
In rough weather, the officers made a sort of a common pool of all the
sound legs and arms, and by dint of hanging hard to each other they
managed to move from their deck chairs to their cabins and from their
cabins again to their deck chairs. Thus they lived until the ship
reached Hampton Roads. We slowed down opposite the curiously mingled
hotels and batteries at Old Point Comfort, and at our mast-head we flew
the yellow-flag, the grim ensign of the plague. Then we witnessed
something which informed us that with all this ship-load of wounds and
fevers and starvations we had forgotten the fourth element of war. We
were flying the yellow flag, but a launch came and circled swiftly
about us. There was a little woman in the launch, and she kept looking
and looking and looking. Our ship was so high that she could see only
those who rung at the rail, but she kept looking and looking and
looking. It was plain enough—it was all plain enough—but my heart
sank with the fear that she was not going to find him. But presently
there was a commotion among some black dough-boys of the 24th Infantry,
and two of them ran aft to Colonel Liscum, its gallant commander. Their
faces were wreathed in darkey grins of delight. "Kunnel, ain't dat Mis'
Liscum, Kunnel?" "What?" said the old man. He got up quickly and
appeared at the rail, his arm in a sling. He cried, "Alice!" The little
woman saw him, and instantly she covered up her face with her hands as
if blinded with a flash of white fire. She made no outcry; it was all
in this simply swift gesture, but we—we knew them. It told us. It told
us the other part. And in a vision we all saw our own harbour-lights.
That is to say those of us who had harbour-lights.
I was almost well, and had defeated the yellow-fever charge which had
been brought against me, and so I was allowed ashore among the first.
And now happened a strange thing. A hard campaign, full of wants and
lacks and absences, brings a man speedily back to an appreciation of
things long disregarded or forgotten. In camp, somewhere in the woods
between Siboney and Santiago, I happened to think of ice-cream-soda. I
had done very well without it for many years; in fact I think I loathe
it; but I got to dreaming of ice-cream-soda, and I came near dying of
longing for it. I couldn't get it out of my mind, try as I would to
concentrate my thoughts upon the land crabs and mud with which I was
surrounded. It certainly had been an institution of my childhood, but
to have a ravenous longing for it in the year 1898 was about as
illogical as to have a ravenous longing for kerosene. All I could do
was to swear to myself that if I reached the United States again, I
would immediately go to the nearest soda-water fountain and make it
look like Spanish Fours. In a loud, firm voice, I would say, "Orange,
please." And here is the strange thing: as soon as I was ashore I went
to the nearest soda-water fountain, and in a loud, firm voice I said,
"Orange, please." I remember one man who went mad that way over tinned
peaches, and who wandered over the face of the earth saying
plaintively, "Have you any peaches?"
Most of the wounded and sick had to be tabulated and marshalled in
sections and thoroughly officialised, so that I was in time to take a
position on the verandah of Chamberlain's Hotel and see my late
shipmates taken to the hospital. The verandah was crowded with women in
light, charming summer dresses, and with spruce officers from the
Fortress. It was like a bank of flowers. It filled me with awe. All
this luxury and refinement and gentle care and fragrance and colour
seemed absolutely new. Then across the narrow street on the verandah of
the hotel there was a similar bank of flowers. Two companies of
volunteers dug a lane through the great crowd in the street and kept
the way, and then through this lane there passed a curious procession.
I had never known that they looked like that. Such a gang of dirty,
ragged, emaciated, half-starved, bandaged cripples I had never seen.
Naturally there were many men who couldn't walk, and some of these were
loaded upon a big flat car which was in tow of a trolley-car. Then
there were many stretchers, slow-moving. When that crowd began to pass
the hotel the banks of flowers made a noise which could make one
tremble. Perhaps it was a moan, perhaps it was a sob—but no, it was
something beyond either a moan or a sob. Anyhow, the sound of women
weeping was in it.—The sound of women weeping.
And how did these men of famous deeds appear when received thus by the
people? Did they smirk and look as if they were bursting with the
desire to tell everything which had happened? No they hung their heads
like so many jail-birds. Most of them seemed to be suffering from
something which was like stage-fright during the ordeal of this chance
but supremely eloquent reception. No sense of excellence—that was it.
Evidently they were willing to leave the clacking to all those natural
born major-generals who after the war talked enough to make a great
fall in the price of that commodity all over the world.
The episode was closed. And you can depend upon it that I have told you
nothing at all, nothing at all, nothing at all.