Anita used to have an instinct to make herself very
small and very blank when she first visited Grace's
house. She was such a weird phenomenon to Mrs. Kline.
Rack her mind as Mrs. Kline would, and she often
would, staring at Anita out of her round blue eyes, a
little bloodshot, shaking her head almost imperceptibly
from time to time, she could not remember anyone
in her experience who had not come to New York to,
at least at first, stay with relatives. This younger
generation that one read about in the papers! But even
Mrs. Kline, whose imagination on some points was
lascivious enough to bring the blush to Grace's cheek,
offered no hints about Anita.
"You're plain-spoken, Anita," Mrs. Kline would say
to her after she had decided to approve of her and to
permit her to cultivate a friendship with Grace which
was already thriving. "Just like me. That's what I like
in a person. You wouldn't hide anything, least of all
from your mother, would you?"
Grace would retaliate to Anita with some remark
meant for her mother. And thus Anita would sit at
table, feeling like a ghost, while both spoke through her
person, that obviously was only a little less intangible
to Grace than to Mrs. Kline. And yet Anita came to
the house more and more often, partly because of her
own isolation, partly because of Grace's soft reaching
toward her. All these months Grace had been to her
simple, sad, clinging, and obliging. When, through some
mood of her own, Anita sent an occasional rebuff, Grace
accepted in silence, seemed to understand, forgot it.
Each discovered certain ideas in the other that no longer
needed to be solitary. When Anita wished to dislike
Mr. Milford articulately, Grace listened; with her Grace
mulled over ways out. Grace offered suggestions for
a mitigation of loneliness which made Anita grateful
though they were suggestions which would suit Grace's
temperament and which were highly inapplicable for
Anita. In turn, Anita, modest though she was and not
altogether naïve, considered that the reason for Grace's
friendliness could only be that Grace liked her. She
was not of the least importance, she thought, and there
was nothing of the least importance she had to offer
anyone. And though, when Mrs. Kline, who was not
subtle, showed a patronizing concurrence in this
opinion, Anita might feel humiliated, she was not exactly
hurt. She liked to watch Mrs. Kline and she liked to
watch Grace. Long ago she had formed the habit of
focusing her observations and her interest outside of
herself on things which she humbly granted were more
exciting.
Even when in a burst of final, desperate irritation
she threw up her job with the Dress Daily, she did not
deceive herself that the event, disastrous enough in her
life, would cause much of a ripple when narrated in
the Kline household. Blake's baby had been born and
nothing could vie with that in Grace's mind. Anita
would not bother to inform her. She lay about her room
for a few days moping, thinking, till Grace sent a wire
after her. Grace had a cold. Would Anita come up to
see her and explain what had happened?
Mrs. Kline opened the door for her and at once began
in her jarring voice a discourse on a dress that Anita
had spoken of ordering.
"I'm not busy now, Anita; I could even buy the
goods for you at a discount, and I'd make it up for you
very cheap. Don't be afraid, I'd keep everything down
for you like for my own child. You better speak up
if you want it because soon I won't have the time."
Anita said shortly that it was out of the question as
she had lost her job. She did not expect Mrs. Kline
to be affected. But Mrs. Kline was—in a different sense.
"Grace never told me a word," she cried in consternation.
"She never tells me a word." She tramped along
with Anita up the hall to the small sewing room where
Grace lay on a couch. "You never told me that Anita
here lost her job," she shouted accusingly.
Grace looked out of wide, patient eyes and did not
answer. The telephone, which the Klines kept in the
sewing room, had been moved to the floor within reach
of her hand.
"Don't you worry, Anita," cried Mrs. Kline, putting
an arm about her. "There's plenty jobs around. If you
want me to make that dress you know I could make it
up for you and you don't have to pay me right away,
you don't have to pay me till you like. And if God
forbid anything should happen, you know you can
always come up here with Grace and me." She patted
Anita's shoulder, regarding Grace with an air of
challenge. Then, with an effort, she added, "Now I guess
you girls want to be left to yourself. I guess you have
things to talk about," she said heavily, "you don't think
I'm smart enough to hear. In my day, girls weren't too
smart for their mothers, but nowadays they are and we
mothers got to make the best of it." She lingered. Both
girls kept still.
After she had straightened whatever in the room
could be straightened and otherwise delayed her
departure, Mrs. Kline had at last no choice but to keep
her promise. She banged the door to, anyhow, as a
slight expression of her feelings. A shudder passed
through Grace; she placed a quick finger on her lip,
signing silence to Anita. And, to be sure, there was a
certain interval of time between the closing of the door
and the retreating clamp clash of Mrs. Kline's feet.
"Anyhow, it's kind of her," murmured Anita.
"Yes," said Grace. "She means it, too, and she'd
remember any kindness she did you to the bitter end."
As she lay staring at the ceiling, the telephone rang.
She answered it in a low, cautious voice. She named no
names, every word was noncommittal, a series of "ohs,"
one "better," some "yeses" and at length a phrase which
Anita had heard from Grace before and which always
made her smile with its unjustified consequence:
"Well—what are—your plans?" Anita reflected that, while
highly diplomatic, while perhaps necessary for secrecy,
such conversations must provide a further diet of
exasperation for Mrs. Kline.
She could not help noticing, too, how Grace had
marshaled her illness, as it were; had arranged it,
dramatized it. When Anita was sick she did not think how
she looked or what were the conditions of comfort or
discomfort about her, and as for how the outside world
might be affected, that naturally never entered her
mind. She was ill and paid as little heed to her illness
as possible and wished to hide and get it over with. But
Grace had dressed her hair as best became a sick
person, very simply, brushed back from her nicely
balanced smooth forehead and clasped with a barrette.
Her dressing-gown had that fine symmetry, settled
about her as evenly, as gracefully, as her clothes always
did. There was a small atomizer on the table and a new
book. The telephone rang. Grace's friends had
apparently been informed or took the trouble to inform
themselves. There was even a vase of red roses. Grace
saw her looking at them.
"My baritone sent them," Grace said with her deep
snigger. "It seems his heart is like a red, red rose. But
tell me what happened."
When Anita began her story under Grace's
attentive eyes she found that even less had happened than
she supposed. She was so annoyed by Mr. Milford; she
had fallen into the habit of revising his silly stories into
some sort of sense, had been taxed with it, had foolishly
argued—as if it mattered a whit to her—and before
she knew it, she had heard herself saying, "I think I'd
better leave."
Grace made only one comment. "If you had to leave,
why didn't you get yourself fired and leave with two
weeks' salary?"
Anita had never thought of this.
"You're not very good at business, are you?" said
Grace, sighing. She considered. "Have you any money?"
Anita laughed.
"Then what will you do?"
Anita shrugged.
"But what will you do?" insisted Grace. "You must
do something. Do you know anyone who might help
you? Didn't you meet lots of people at the Dress Daily?"
"No one I'd ask for favors," said Anita stiffly.
Grace sighed again. "You're so proud. Pride's all right
if you can afford it. But it's a question of choice.
Wouldn't you rather give up a little pride—and get a
job? What can you do otherwise?"
"I can go home," said Anita. "I can rest and think
it over."
Grace opened her eyes. "To Trenton? Aren't you afraid?"
They understood each other, but Anita replied with
a frown, "Why? My home isn't a prison."
"Well, mine is," said Grace. And suddenly she added,
"Anita, I wish you wouldn't go. I'll miss you, truly I
will."
She continued softly, with many pauses, as if she
were feeling her way, testing with care for a response.
"You know—I thought if I could ever really leave Ma—I
could if I only made a little more money—we could—take
a place together—maybe."
Anita did not quite know. Anyhow, it did not bear
thinking of at present. She said in haste, "Well, that's a
long way off. I haven't any money, you know, and I'm
not likely to have."
But she appeared to satisfy Grace, who put an arm
under her head and said with assurance, "We could
manage that."
"Something's up in my own job," Grace added, moving
and sighing on her couch. "I don't know just what,
but I can feel something. To tell the truth, I haven't
been paying much attention to it lately. I guess they
see it—but—I can't help it. I—there've been other
things." She fell silent.
Suddenly she began the motions of her laugh and
searched Anita's face. "Do you know how I got this
cold?" she said. She concluded, "Looking for rooms
with Blake—for his wife."
She attempted to justify herself to the expression of
withdrawal on Anita's face. "I suppose that—shocks
you. But it was very natural. Their place isn't big
enough with the baby and she can't go house hunting.
Blake had to—so—I took the afternoon off and
accompanied him, in the rain and all."
There was a pause. She added with a curved,
one-sided smile, "I hope she's grateful."
The telephone rang again and Grace was upon it
almost before the ring. She used the same formula, a
little lower perhaps. "Oh.... Oh." A deep, "That's
good!" Then, "What are—your plans for to-morrow?"
Grace hung up. She smiled a firm, a victorious smile,
pressing her lips together.
"They've named the baby James," she announced to
the ceiling, smiling up at it. "After her father."
She turned upon Anita a face bereft of the smile and
said grimly through her set teeth, "He isn't a junior
anyway. That's my little victory." Her cheeks had
grown haggard and after a while she felt for a
handkerchief under the pillow and dabbed at her eyes.
Every day young people came to Harry Strauss's
office, armed with letters, fortified with introductions,
to ask for work. Grace saw them all without appearing
to see; nor had it escaped her that there seemed to
be more of them, that they entered more expectantly
and departed more hopefully. One would have thought
that she had nothing to fear. She had got her raise, she
had hinted for another. But she was well aware of and
knew that Harry Strauss and Al were aware of a
relaxation of the tight net of effort that she had at first
spread over her job. She argued with herself that this was
but natural; not even race horses were expected to keep
up the pace with which they started. In any case she
could not help herself. All she seemed to want now was
to sweep away her work somehow so as to be free to
meet Blake in the afternoons.
Something was in the air, something which had spread
abroad and attracted these increasing numbers of job
hunters, like the mysterious word that goes forth to
crows or jackals that there is a carcass for the picking.
One morning Grace saw Miss MacAlister with this
obscure word in her eyes, watching her. Al was very
quiet this morning. He sat at their table in the outer
office and mulled over photographs, destined for the
women's pages, of an opera singer who had been using
some reduction method. This was strange. The opera
singer belonged to Grace.
As she too bent over the table, Al said to her very
low, "Did you have any words with Harry?"
"No. Why?"
Al murmured, "When I call you from Harry's office,
come in and don't shut the door. Look out, she tells him
everything."
They made perfunctory motions of work. Finally Al
bustled into Mr. Strauss's empty office, and as he had
planned, when he called her, Grace followed as casually
as possible. They stood by the window, pretending to
look out of it, while Al kept an eye on Miss
MacAlister and on the door.
"You know I'm your friend here," began Al with
emphasis. Grace said nothing. He hurried on. "Harry
was asking for you yesterday afternoon. Where were
you?"
"I can't do my work and be here every minute,"
said Grace sharply.
"I know that. I told him so. But Harry's a funny
guy. He got mad and he said, 'That girl never shows
up in the afternoon, she's never around when I want
her.' I guess he was playing bridge the night before
and lost a couple of dollars, so—Then he started
talking about how he'd let you handle Madame Tallifer
all by yourself to show what you could do—and you
hadn't done so well with her, she's putting up a holler."
It was true. Grace hadn't done so well with the opera
singer, Madame Tallifer. There were a thousand good
reasons. There was little interest and no novelty to
Madame Tallifer. She would complain in any event. But
then, neither Grace nor anyone else was expected to
heed reason in this business, this "racket," as Al called
it. She was silent.
"So then he asked me what I thought," went on
Al, "and I told him, I said, 'You know how it is,
Harry. Grace hasn't got the experience you and me
have. She's still learning. You got to go a little easy
with her.'"
"You told him that!" exclaimed Grace. "You know
very well and he knows too that I've done a lot better
for the money he pays me——"
"I know all that, I know all that," said Al. "Sh!
Listen, I had to tell him that, give him his way, you
know, smooth things over. I'm your friend, see?"
Grace gave him an acute look and turned slightly away.
"Listen, think I want you to go? Wha'd'y'think I got
to gain by it? It's no fun for me to break in a new
girl," cried Al. "Listen, if you think I ever did or said
anything against you, just ask Harry, that's all I
want. Just ask him."
"Oh, let's drop it. Is that all you have to tell me?"
"Well, I was just going to finish. Just give me a
chance. So a while after that Harry calls me in again
and he's got a girl there. I didn't even catch her name,
never heard of her, don't know her," he declared hastily,
seeing Grace's eyes. "And he said to her, 'Would you
work for thirty-five dollars a week?' And she said,
'Yes!' So then he said, 'Al, Miss—Whatshername—'ll be
working with you next week.'"
Grace stared out of the window. After glancing at
her once or twice Al began to fumble with papers on
Mr. Strauss's desk. "Why don't you speak to Harry?"
he suggested nervously. "Maybe you can fix things up."
But Grace shook her head and said, "No. I have to
see Tallifer this morning." She picked up her coat, in
passing, and went out.
Instinctively, she would not take impetuous steps
across a bridge until she came to it. And she had to get
out to think. This time she did not look at streets or
shop windows or at the bright sky where even the clouds
were a glittering, not a fluffy, white. The situation
arranged itself like a chess game in her mind. Al wished
to get rid of her. This girl was a friend perhaps. Or Al
was afraid that she, Grace, might rise to some importance
in the office. Well, she had never trusted Al. Just the
same, he was sorry for her, too, sorry that it had seemed
necessary for her throat to be cut. He had for her the
futile, patronizing pity of sentimental people. She need
not make an enemy of him. And Mr. Strauss—he would
save fifteen dollars a week. It had been a mistake to
suggest another raise—no chance there at all. But, if
she knew Harry Strauss, he would not fire her (unless
she begged for it) till Saturday, so that he might get the
last ounce of blissfully ignorant effort out of her. Nice
of Al to tell her—a small sop to his conscience
perhaps—though perhaps he had planned that she would be
disgusted enough and proud enough to leave pronto, of
her own will, and save them the annoyance of a dismissal.
Anyhow, she had three days till Saturday. Of these
she would make doubly sure by keeping out of Mr. Strauss's
way. She had also an idea that she could manage
to get a week's extra salary out of him by appealing
to his particular vanity, which she had noted: his wistful
desire of the born liar to be considered fair, square, to
be believed. So she had nine working days of grace. She
might not even have to tell Ma, if she began to angle at
once.
She considered her problem skillfully, conscientiously,
from every side, as a scientist might probe a new disease.
She planned her procedure in her mind with swift
instinct, a bold, logical poise, as a great general might plan
a campaign. All other thoughts were excluded; ironic
comparisons, the weakening, defeating insinuations of
humor could not find a loophole. This was her trouble,
her problem. For the time it encompassed her like the
entire universe; for the time it was alone, itself, her
universe; but it was a universe from which she did not
shut everyone else out. No—it was rather a universe
which it did not occur to her everyone else would not be
pleased to share.
She had no intention of seeing Madame Tallifer. She
went into a telephone booth.
Like any good general, Grace had never lost sight of
her reserves. No matter how such she might be of the
present, this did not prevent her from keeping herself
alert for new opportunities, for ascertaining where, in an
emergency, these might be more plentiful, for acquainting
herself as much as possible with the people who had
them to bestow. There were certain persons, too, as she
realized—not perhaps entirely consciously—who, though
not important themselves, might be used as keys to
unlock the sources of opportunities beyond them.
Mr. Milford was such a person. He could do nothing for her
himself but he knew many people whose attention he
could focus by means of a letter or a request. Grace
was too shrewd to apply to Mr. Milford again; there
were others, however, whom she had marked. Some
might clamber up the rocky, direct road to strange
offices and appear, scared and out of breath, to ask for
work. Grace preferred the less simple, the roundabout,
the easier way. She wanted a path prepared ahead of
her, an entrance staged; a few laudatory wreaths strewn
before, provided one's person seemed to become them, as
hers did, always helped.
There was Tommy Manship, the assistant dramatic
editor, who admired her, who had a job that forced press
agents to pay court to him, and who could give her
letters and suggestions. She arranged to see him first.
Then there was her old boss, McTavish, at the Brooklyn
Press. These were people with whom she could be frank.
There were some women, too, women with money,
women with valuable "contacts," of whom she had made
friends from time to time. She had not been pleasant
to them definitely because of their uses. At this time she
was in general pleasant and, when necessary, obliging,
partly because she liked to be so. She had never needed
to shrink from people. From childhood she had been
accustomed to the power of soothing and softening
which her looks alone had, her great eyes, the glowing
clarity of her skin. She enjoyed seeing the initial
receptive expression on the faces of strangers; she preferred
them to retain their admiration if possible. Besides, she
understood without ever being told, without ever even
thinking about it, how much of comfort and success,
so desired by her, rested in the hands of other people.
When she left the telephone booth her routine for
that day lay clearly ahead of her.
The next morning Grace came to the office early so
as to avoid both Al and Mr. Strauss. She sorted a folder
of Madame Tallifer's pictures in front of the stenographer
and departed with it, remarking cheerfully that
she had "planted" some woman's page features. Thus
she hoped to record with Miss MacAlister her happy
ignorance and her absorption in Mr. Strauss's affairs. She
then walked over to the studio of a writing friend of
hers, made herself at home, and carefully examined her
toilette. She had an appointment with a Mr. Williams
at the M.A.N. Film Company.
"Drop in to tea this afternoon," said her writing
friend, Diana Porter Reece. "The man who runs the
Enterprise Feature Syndicate is coming. He might help
you."
Diana Reece was supported chiefly by a husband but
did not let this interfere with her career. She did not
care whether the men in her train were useful or futile,
but inevitably, among the dregs, some would emerge
who were worth knowing. Grace promised to come,
though she had to see Blake at tea time too. She meant
to overlook neither.
The way to Mr. Williams brought memories of her
first day of job hunting—how she had worried over the
sealskin coat, worn too early in the season, how her
mind had been in conflict between Blake and work. This
last year, in which she had fought no longer, in which
she had succumbed to his invasion of her mind, seemed
to have had an exactly opposite effect from what she
might have supposed. Her mind was like a surrendered
city which the conquerors believe they have at the moment
of its defeat, only, upon settlement, to find themselves
absorbed by an alien, negative host. The single
thought of Blake was no longer in her mind, intruding
on it, harassing her to eject it. It had become part of
every thought there, and so it was no longer bitterly,
distinctly there, apparent at all. She could not be
distracted by the idea of Blake any more than she could
be distracted by the idea of herself.
She looked very well; she owned a fall coat now. She
was all in brown, a clear, pale brown of hat, dress, and
chiffon stockings, a velvety brown of coat and shoes.
And so with the feeling of light, easy, bounding power
that seems to bring success in its wake, as its due, she
went in to see Mr. Williams.
When she walked out she had her job. So simply! She
almost wished to snap her fingers and walked along
aimlessly, smiling, letting the light blue air of Indian
summer, hazy as spring but without the springlike quiver,
with a faint death-weariness in it, caress her face.
Mr. Williams was not like Harry Strauss. He was a tall
young man with a browned face and eyes as soft as
Grace's own. He was susceptible and did not attempt
to hide it. "Must have been a newspaperman," thought
Grace. And so easy! He had merely told her what she
would do and what he could pay, and that was sixty-five
dollars a week. If Harry Strauss only knew! Really
she had to gloat and declare holiday.
As she had expected, at the moment of handing her
her check Saturday Mr. Strauss said: "Sit down a
moment, Grace. I have sad news for you." That was one
point in Harry Strauss's favor, Grace thought. Whatever
he might do underneath, on the surface he wasted no
oily sentiment, no hypocritical blather.
He now continued: "I suppose you see things are dull
now. We've got to cut down. I asked Al about you
and he said the work you were doing could be done
just as well by an inexperienced girl——"
"Did Al say that?" cried Grace in spite of herself.
"It's very unfair of him!"
Mr. Strauss sent her a keen, comprehending look.
"Well, I asked him and that's what he said. I can't
keep track of you, you know."
"It was very unfair of him," repeated Grace, flushing.
"In spite of the way you divided the papers, we've
worked together on everything, as Al seemed to prefer.
He can't claim any more credit for what we've done
than I can."
Mr. Strauss nodded a number of times. "I know, I
know all that. But that's what Al told me. If you
don't agree, don't go out till Al comes and we'll have
it out. Al is inclined to misrepresent things." He waited.
But a sudden idea shot through Grace's mind. Could
they be working in unison? Was it a plan to get her to
cut her own salary perhaps? Would people plot and
counterplot with such narrow, shrewd subtlety for a
few dollars? She felt highly superior to Harry Strauss
and to Al. She brushed the matter aside with a curl of
her lip.
"N-no," she said remotely. "I never could argue. If
Al thinks that and you believe him——"
"I didn't say that, my dear," put in Harry Strauss.
"I know nothing about your work. I have to ask Al
and that is what he told me."
"Well, if Al feels that way about me——" She turned
her eyes to the window.
"Well, what do you want to do?" said Mr. Strauss
after a silence. "Do you want to leave?"
Grace lowered her eyes and took a deep breath. "Is
that—the sad news you have for me?" she said in a very
small voice.
"From what Al told me, I thought that would be best."
"If you're firing me," began Grace, "I have to go, of
course." She spoke with dignity, but low, bowing to the
greater force. She raised her eyes frankly to Mr. Strauss's
face. "I can't afford to leave," she said. "As you know,
it's not so easy—to get a job. And—I have my mother
to support. It's very hard on me—without any notice." Her
eyes, without a hint of a tear in them, took on the
deeper pathos of tears just behind.
Mr. Strauss fussed with his papers. "Well, I'll tell
you," he said at length. "I want to be fair to you. I'll
give you a week to look around—and keep on with your
work here. At the end of the week you come in and
collect your pay as usual, but that doesn't mean you're
to neglect your work here, you understand. Is that
fair?"
So she had won. She had what amounted to a week's
much-needed vacation with pay. It would be all right
with Mr. Williams since she had thoughtfully arranged
with him for this interval. It was hard to hide her
elation. She got up and paused by the desk.
"I hope we—part good friends," she murmured with
that curious advance of her eyes and retreat of the rest
of her face. "I've liked—working here, and I'm sorry
that you haven't found my work—entirely—satisfactory."
"That's all right, my dear," said Mr. Strauss. "You
may have been lying down on the job here of late—I
only know what Al tells me—but all the same I think
you're a bright girl. After you're through here, drop in
now and then. I might hear of something."
She thanked him. In the corridor, she met Al on
his way back to the office.
"Well?" he inquired.
"Well?" she said haughtily.
"What happened? How'd you get along with Harry?"
Grace looked him over from top to toe before she
replied. "He gave me a week in which to look around."
"I'm glad he did that anyhow," cried Al. "I'll see
you around here then, but I want to wish you good luck
right now, Grace." He put out his hand. "If I hear of
anything—you know, I'm your friend."
Grace had a sudden moment of unguarded rage. She
could and would permit herself to ignore the hand. She
sneered. "Yes. I know what a friend you are to me."
"Jesus Christ! What's the big idea?" cried Al. Grace
went on. "Women—! Women—!" called Al to Heaven,
clutching his head and shaking it from side to side.
He retreated into the office.
Still, some days later, Grace heard that Al was
speaking of her as a "sweet girl," and when they next met
they greeted each other as if nothing had happened.
Neither cared or dared to make an open enemy of the
other. Each had learned the Christian lesson of forgiving
and forgetting, though not from motives of high
magnanimity. To fight those who harm one and cherish
those who aid one, to be proud, to be dangerous, and
to be loyal is too primitive and difficult a process for this
civilized world. It taxes the mind and emotions far less
and is altogether better business to forgive and forget.
When Anita returned to New York winter was
in full possession—a wet winter, a sickly winter, chilling
the blood into sluggish mounds, turning a gray snow
into slush and mud among the morass of cobblestones
by the station. She had come to New York an energetic
novice, had left it as a cool, experienced resident. She
returned a stranger. New York did not recognize her,
and in the midst of its docks and cobblestones, its
trucks and wagons splashing mud to either side, foggy,
gray with the drizzle, on the way to its markets, she
was lost, very small, uncertain. A porter, noticing her
in her brown coat by the cheap valise, indicated the
Travelers' Aid Society. This made her laugh, though it
hurt too. She felt like a person who had been cut dead
by an old friend. And though she had resolved not
to trouble Grace till she was settled, she went eagerly
to a telephone booth and asked to see her at once.
On the way to the M.A.N. office she stopped by her
old rooming house. A sign announced its sale; the
wreckers had set their seals on its door and walls. With
small-town faith, Anita had counted on this dreary
house, the greetings of her landlady, on her old room
or one just like it. Now there remained between her and
complete disassociation only Grace.
She had to wait for Grace amid the heavy consequence
of carpets, plush and oak. She was announced and
ushered into the presence by a devious way through a
great main office and short passages that made no attempt
to keep the elegant promise of the reception room.
Grace's desk in the Publicity Department was one of a
number lost under pictures, papers, and telephones.
Grace was typing and waved her hand. "Sit down a
minute, Anita. I have to finish this."
She seemed to have taken on an impressive amount of
assurance and a soft sheen, partly of grooming, partly
of well-being, by which Anita, as she watched her, was
more and more abashed. Her own shoes were sensible in
rubbers, her gloves were not too fresh, and her hat bore
traces of the drizzle. Grace, in a dark blue suit perfectly
attuned to her like all her clothes, with the pale light
of amber beads falling over the delicacy of her blouse,
with her skin that appeared to have a richer glow over
cheeks that had lost their hollows—this Grace was so
aloof from her that no words and no attempted kindness
could possibly reach across the space between them. Of
course, Grace had to be polite for the sake of old times,
old confidences—how old those times seemed suddenly!—but
how could she have expected concern, the warmth
of intimacy? She had better go, she thought. She was
on the point of rising and going forthwith when Grace
at last turned to her.
"Do you know what I'm doing?" she said. "I'm
justifying my college education. I figured out a way to
connect George Bernard Shaw's Superman with Babe
Jean, the baseball player, who's under contract to us for
one picture. They call him the Sultan of Swat. So I
suggested—why not cable G.B.S. and ask if we might
not advertise Babe Jean as the—Superman of Swat. Shaw
is always good for loads of newspaper space. And luck
was with us! To-day we got a cable from Shaw: 'Never
heard of her. Whose Baby is Jean?' And Mr. Williams
thinks we'll make every front page in the country."
At this moment Mr. Williams hurried out of the
inner office and leaned over Grace with a marked
gallantry. "Are you through, Grace? Would you let me
have the stuff, then? I want to hold it over for the
morning papers. I'll plant it myself. That was certainly
one swell hunch of yours!"
He ran his eyes swiftly over the page and a half, came
to a point that pleased him and nodded vigorously.
"Yop. You made your sale fine!"
"I'll see that you get full credit for it," he assured
her, and hastened away.
When the door of his private office had shut Grace
said to Anita with a small, sly smile, "He likes me." She
stretched in her chair, a gesture of voluptuous weariness
after enjoyed and appreciated effort. "I'm having a
grand time," she confided. "I've even stopped—worrying
so much. Roy Williams is awfully nice to me. I'm
supposed to do mostly woman's-page stuff for the press
books, fashions, and feature stories, but he lets me try
my hand at anything that comes up. It's lots of fun
and so much easier than the Strauss job."
She had not yet asked about Anita. Now she looked
her over, seeming abstracted, and remarked, "You look
well. Have you decided what you'll do?" She rose as
she said this, took her coat from the back of a chair,
picked up a pale amber-colored hat and various possessions
from the desk. "Come out with me. We can talk
better outside." Anita followed unwillingly.
She went with Grace to buy a pair of stockings. On
the way she was regaled with such bits of gossip as
Grace felt she would surely wish to know. Letty was
engrossed with Paul. Harold had gone into the lace
business with a friend. He was also growing more
docile.
"He's even got to the point where he'll make lunch
dates with girls," announced Grace triumphantly. "And
he no longer turns up his nose at me—so much."
"How's Blake?"
"Very well," said Grace in a cool voice. "You know,
it's interesting," she added reflectively, as if repeating
an explanation that had often been in her mind, "to
watch the—er—balance—waver between us. At
first—Blake was the chief person and I was a nobody. I
cared for him more than he cared for me. But gradually
I've been watching the balance sort of—even up. And
now on this job I've been doing so well and making so
many new friends, I can see—the balance swing slowly
over to my side."
Anita listened without much interest and wondered
how she could leave, and where to go when she left.
They turned a corner.
Grace urged her: "Come up to Diana Reece's place.
It's right here. She's away but she gave me the key.
I want to see what you think of it. You know—I was
thinking—Dee's place is only thirty-five a month. I'm
starting a feature for the Enterprise Syndicate on Wives
of Famous Men, and if I could only make enough out of
it to pay the rent—I'd be ready to leave Ma. Dee's
awfully sweet to me; she said if I took over the place
she'd let me have her furniture. So you see—I'm almost
set."
Yes, Anita saw, and the contrast between their
conditions depressed her more than ever. Not for the first
time, this talent of Grace's for ranging and consolidating
trifles to form a stable background, a stable shelter, a
stable footing seemed to her enviable. With Grace, one
thing always led to another and more profitable thing.
Diana Reece's studio was a tiny front room in an old
house off Fifth Avenue. This house, soon to suffer the
fate of all old houses, stood far back from the street
in a courtyard decorated with plaster statues that
belonged to the shop next door. The statues of lions and
angels were ghostlike in the gray mist; the house, black
stairs after black stairs of which they climbed, smelled
of mold and ancient woodwork, and Diana Reece's room
was icy.
Grace turned on an electric heater and sat by it,
drawing fresh, sheer stockings over her white feet. The
room took on an air of graciousness from her movements,
of comfort, of animation. The stockings, with
their fragile smoothness of new silk, just reward for
Grace's labors, struck Anita with the full force of her
own idleness. She felt the darns on her own heels and
toes. And she was even a little older than Grace. And
here she sat, idle, with a cheap valise checked at a
station, little money, and no home. She got up.
"I really have to go now. I ought to find a room
to-day anyhow."
Grace contemplated her out of startled eyes that
grew deeper, larger, softer. "Haven't you a room?" she
exclaimed. "Why didn't you tell me? Do you mean to
hunt for a room in this weather?"
"Well, I have to," said Anita miserably. "Unless I
want to go to the Y.W. And I don't care for that."
After a long pause Grace started to plan in her
deliberate accents. "You're so funny, Anita. I suppose
you'll turn on me for suggesting this, but—you know
you could stay here for a while. I wanted to tell you,
but I thought... Anyhow, Dee never uses the place
except to work. If you got out before ten and came
back around five, I know she wouldn't mind your staying
here. I sleep here myself now and then. It's—convenient.
All I have to do is walk down Fifth Avenue
to the office. This couch is very comfortable, and see,
you have a heater, and it wouldn't cost you a cent."
"It's awfully decent of you," murmured Anita. "I
don't know..."
"Oh, don't be proud! Just this once, don't be
proud—please. It doesn't mean a thing to Dee. Keep your
suitcase under the couch, and she won't even know you've
been here!"
With relief, Anita yielded.
"Er—I saw Mr. Milford the other day," added Grace
carefully. "He asked about you. You wouldn't want
your old job back, would you?"
"No!"
"Well. I only asked. And you know—I'll look around
for you, if you like."
"Not if it's a bother to you," said Anita. "It's ever
so kind of you. I thank you and all that."
She was grateful, some of the burden slipped from her
mind, and as a small, immediate token of gratitude, she
now gave deep attention to Grace's talk.
"I have a lunch date with Tommy Manship," Grace
was saying. "Did I tell you about him? He's on the
dramatic staff of the Times. He's a cute lad and we are
progressing by leaps and bounds, you might say."
"How's your baritone?"
"Oh! My baritone! I can't get rid of him. The latest
development is—that he wants to marry me. I almost
think I would, too, if he weren't so—Italian and so
jealous. That's not so good. But I'd like to marry
someone, then get divorced right away. Blake, as you can
imagine, doesn't think much of the idea. But really, if
you've once been married it's such—an advantage. An
old wedding ring is a sort of—ad that you're no longer
a virgin, and no one cares to check up on you further.
If I had my life to live over again, as the saying goes,
I'd marry at the earliest possible moment, at sixteen,
when it's easy because you can fall for practically
anybody, and be divorced, naturally, pretty soon, and then
I'd have that behind me. I could always say I'd been
married and I could do just as I pleased. That's the
advice I'm going to hand on to my daughter, if I ever
have one, which seems—unlikely."
Anita smiled. "What's the matter with this Tommy
Manship person?"
"Oh. He's too smart. He guesses about Blake, I think.
Not that I take any great pains to hide the fact. By the
way, I have another man—too. He sells plate glass and
reads poetry. Honest. I like him. But—he's married,
separated from his wife. They're all married and
separated," said Grace with a sigh. "The older you get,
the more married and separated they are."
Anita began to laugh.
"Wait," said Grace darkly. "You'll see. Unless you
can get interested in children. I can't. Walk over to the
Algonquin with me."
In the lobby of the Algonquin, with its air of hush
and velvet duskiness, the pale lights being lost among
the somber shadows of deep armchairs, like candlelights
in a cathedral, Grace resumed her former preoccupation.
Drawing herself up in her sealskin coat that shone in the
dimness, she seemed to set herself apart within an
intangible circle of cool importance as she nodded here
and there from a height and called remote hellos to
girls whose coats likewise shone, to men who walked
briskly here and there, nowhere, deigning to greet others
of their kind. As her luncheon partner rose she turned
to Anita in an attitude of dismissal.
"I'll think about a job for you. I'll let you—know,"
she said, her eyes fixed elsewhere.
And these words, trite and chilly congé to the job
hunter, spattered from Grace's lips like so many hard,
cold drops of rain, one by one, on Anita's new mood
of hope, made her shrink and huddle into herself as she
walked back along the foggy streets to her room.
Thus began some weeks of existence, almost without
substance or foundation, like the existence of a haunting
wraith. In the morning it was necessary to leave the
studio bearing no traces of her presence. It was not
safe to return before evening. Then Anita, like a ghost,
would look wistfully at the marks impressed on it by
less immaterial lives, teacups on the desk, the curtains
drawn, the wicker chairs grouped cosily about the heater,
a box of candy, a few flowers. She felt that she had
sunk far beyond the reach of this other region, where
people bought flowers and chatted over teacups, and
when, now and then, a ray of kindliness struck from
this world into her nether sphere, she was disproportionately
touched. Sometimes Grace left word for her to see
such and such a person who might "know of
something." Once she found a note from Diana Reece urging
her to eat breakfast at the Reece table as often as she
cared.
It was generous of Diana Reece, but it never could
have occurred to Anita to accept. She had discovered a
cafeteria where, for exactly twenty-two cents, she ate
baked beans, cornbread, and coffee every day at eleven
o'clock. This served both as breakfast and lunch. Dinner
at the same cafeteria cost no more than fifty cents if
she chose sparingly. She got to know very well the
park, the museums, the reading rooms and stone benches
of the Public Library, and all the streets within walking
distance.
Although she followed Grace's suggestions, nothing
ever came of them and Anita, in spite of her predicament,
was secretly glad. Grace counseled her to do as
she, Grace, would have done—to take, if one had to, any
job, no matter how unsatisfactory temperamentally, and
unflinchingly mold either herself or the job into some
sort of suitability, meanwhile keeping an eye on other
mouseholes, or, as Grace put it, "waiting for something—to
turn up." To Grace everyone was playing cat; you
had to in order to get along and of course one wished
to get along. There was no choice. Anita, however,
knew that for her there were distinct limits to the
amount of endurance she would invest in any undertaking;
inevitably there would confront her the question
as to whether the undertaking was worth so much
irritation and so much effort to her; if the answer were
negative, off she would go, not even stopping to choose
a sensible exit.
In the end, Grace did not succeed in understanding;
she succeeded only in being patient with what she
considered a stubborn whim. Anita sometimes wished that
she had not accepted Grace's aid in the first place, and
often she wished with all her heart that Grace had not
permitted her a glimpse of Grace's world. In spite of her
suspicions, it seemed to be the only world in which she
could and should strive for a foothold, a successful
world. Moreover, it was enticingly open to her; it was
Grace's helpful determination to keep it open for her,
not to permit Anita to sink into the obscurity of, say,
a factory hand or a waitress, as Anita might otherwise
have chosen to do. Anita felt grateful; she felt the
conscientious person's obligation to do her best to live up
to what was expected of her, and yet somehow she was
not so grateful after all. Emulation of Grace, a sort of
competitiveness, the restlessness with which her first
meeting with Grace had left her, the feeling which she
had had in Diana Reece's studio when she thought that
here she was even a little older than Grace and yet in so
much more uncertain a position—such comparisons
made a rope about her neck, strangling her initiative.
It was Grace who finally remembered that Harold
Moses had once sympathized with Anita's interest in
factories.
"He might know of a job you'd like," she said. "He
used to do all the hiring for his firm. He knows a lot of
employment people. And he's a cousin of Ella Alvyn, the
one who's so mixed up in charities and child labor and
that sort of thing. Be sure and get a letter to her."
So Anita went to see him. She found that, as Grace
had indicated, his training as a husband had awakened
Harold to his first close observation of women as people.
A year ago he had thought her a little peculiar. Now,
though he knew too much about factories not to laugh
at her tentative remark that she would like to work in
one, yet there was sympathy in his laughter for,
underneath the suggestion, impossible enough as he saw it,
there lay a feeling which they had in common, a
feeling indefinable to him which had often come to him
unreasonably in the midst of swarming, clacking, zooming
power machines, the whirling black belts overhead, the
Italian and Jewish operators singing—wailing rather—long
and monotonous chants as the soft lengths of silk
grazed their fingers. A feeling which he only realized
through its resultant satisfaction. A sense perhaps of
brushing through layers of cobwebs that clung to eyes,
ears, and mind and at last seeing under his feet the worn
yet still unwearied earth of toil—the least common
denominator of toil—and he himself in it, sunk in that
earth and drawing power from it, like everyone else.
Ugly it was and smelly in a workroom, yet, as often
happens with real ugliness, there was a weird harmony
in its distortion—the features of beauty, placed, as it
were, upside down—which equaled the charm of beauty
for the fascinated and reconstructing imagination.
Now, one day in the week, he would borrow his
partner's car and drive out to the cottages of the lace
makers in New Jersey, ostensibly to collect their product
but really to rid himself of the boredom of that work
which, difficult though it was, yet seemed
unreal—approaching buyers, showing samples, taking orders,
outwitting competitors—and to stand again in the midst
of a toil felt, smelt, heard and seen. Anita could
understand this. Half-amused, he asked her if she would like
to ride out with him that day.
It was the first afternoon since her return to New
York on which she had felt alive. With work, the
common, veritable substance of it all around her, she
forgot that she was hunting for work herself. She
forgot that she existed only by sufferance and through
other people's occasional benevolence.
In New York the snow had melted into sodden
remnants and was being shoveled away. Here, on the
Jersey side, it covered gray streets with a robust splendor,
reflecting the ice-blue sky; safe even in the sunlight
which was accompanied by a beating wind. Anita waited
in the car during the first calls, outside of low, long
outbuildings like garages, that vibrated with the hum
of the Schiffli machines. As they rode farther into town
Harold pointed out cottage after cottage with its wooden
structure beside it, sealed tightly without, warm and
active within.
She was permitted to enter one at last and met the
lace maker, a stooped German, all one color like the
warped walls of his shed. With a sort of tender pride he
exhibited the sweep of his Schiffli, he showed her the
pattern, like a scroll of dots and dashes for a player piano,
attached to a part of the machine, which thereafter
repeated it time after time, mingled it in magical fashion
with the threads of the net base. She did not care to
ask many questions, just to see the wheels go round, the
fine threads stretched on the framework of the machine
that went the length of the building, the threads being
picked up with a precise, an unceasing subtlety, and
intertwined. The lace maker's young son walked back and
forth on the ledge, watching the web. At a table in a
corner his daughter threaded bobbins, while his wife sat
in the sunshine under a closed window, skillfully
patching places where the machine had not functioned. They
all worked quietly, evenly, while the Schiffli droned in
the background seeming to weld them also together.
Each time the wife caught Anita's eye she smiled and
Anita smiled; step by step the lace maker explained the
processes of his machine, how it did not really make lace
at all but embroidery on a net base, which base was later
removed by a chemical bath. As they reached the end
his boy looked up with a bashful grin.
Harold had his last order wrapped up in heavy brown
paper and gave them a fresh design and a new order.
When they got outside Anita asked what a family like
that could earn.
"After they pay for the thread and the instalment
on the machine they do well to clear say fifty or sixty
a week in good times," said Harold.
He started his car. The little cottage, disappearing
down the length of the street, looked tiny between two
banks of snow. Against the brilliance of the snow its
lines were etched clearly, if lightly, and its sides were
smoothed with a patina of its own, all of one color, like
the lace maker's face, the humble color of use.
They hardly spoke on the way home. Anita was immersed
in re-tasting the afternoon, bit by bit, and wished
to be left alone. She set out to walk from Harold's office
under the now dark sky, through the peopled streets
with their round lamps that gleamed at intervals, and
reached the studio ruddy, bounding with cheer and vigor.
She found Grace and Blake there. "Hello," said Grace.
"Look," she said, rising and slowly revolving. "How do
you like my new outfit? Letty and I changed clothes
for to-night."
Against a rough tweed suit of the blue that madonnas
wear in ancient paintings, her skin shone warmly, and
the same lucid blue glowed in beads about her throat.
Excitement had tinged her cheeks the faintest, pearliest
pink and the pupils of her eyes hid like great, dusky
shadows beneath a thin glaze of brilliance. Never, Anita
thought, had she seen her so lovely.
"Hul-lo," she said wonderingly.
Blake, sitting over the heater, pale, with a wry twist
to his lips, remarked, "I have had the merits of that
shade of blue analyzed for me in detail within the past
half hour. We have considered the question from every
angle, together with sidelights upon the virtues of black,
brown, orange, amber——"
Grace began her special laugh.
"As a matter of fact, we've been talking mostly about
Blake's play. Do you know Blake has met a man who
writes music—and they're all set to do a musical comedy
together? Blake is going to do the book and lyrics.
Really it sounds awfully good."
He would not be diverted. "——and the detestable
properties of cerise," he continued. "Cerise is a loathsome
color. It is a vulgar color. It is a color that fat women
choose by instinct. Tell us exactly what should be done
with cerise, Grace."
Grace paid him a due tribute of amusement before
she turned to Anita.
"Well," she said, "did you get that letter?"
"What letter?"
"To Ella Alvyn. Or did he call her up for you? What
did you do this afternoon?"
With a sinking heart, Anita stood looking down at
the futile débris of her afternoon, feeling helpless. What
had she done? She had not advanced her purpose; one
thing had not led to something better. She had seen a
machine and defined the color of a cottage.
"I—there wasn't a chance to ask him," she said slowly.
"He never mentioned her so——"
"For goodness' sake!" exclaimed Grace. She shook her
head and sighed. "Why would he mention her, unless
you asked? Then—then nothing happened?" Seeing
Anita's face, she went over and took her arm. "Never
mind," she said, "I'll call him first thing in the morning.
I could speak to Ella Alvyn myself, even. She's the
president of our alumni association and she knows me. But
Harold would be better. He's a first cousin, you know....
I'll—I'll speak to him. Let's have dinner together,
shall we? There's a nice place across the street—not
expensive," she added to Anita's frown.
Blake put in suddenly, "I'll go with you."
"Aren't you due home?"
He did not answer.
"I don't want to—interfere—with your arrangements,"
said Grace with a dignity more measured than
usual. "Besides—I have an engagement after dinner, you
know."
In silence they walked across the street. Blake went
to a wall telephone. He spoke too low for their ears,
but when he returned his pale face had grown more
pallid, his lips were dry and tight. He took up the menu
as a shield, swallowing behind it, so that the eyes of the
two girls should not pick him out, should not strip
him more raw than he already felt.
"I suppose she was very much upset," remarked Grace.
She spoke to Anita. "I don't blame her," she said with
feeling. "I can imagine how—it must be—to wait for
someone with dinner on the table, and all at once—to
have him call up and announce—he won't be home."
She chatted on, seeming ever lovelier, gayer, less
concerned, subordinating them, rising far above them on the
wings of her beauty and serenity. When it came time to
pay the check Grace ostentatiously placed a dollar on the
table; Anita did the same. It was understood that Blake
never had any money. He flushed, drew out his dollar,
and, without looking, thrust the bills at the waitress.
Grace glanced toward him expectantly, repeating that
she had a date. He rose and left them.
Anita had to accompany Grace to Grand Central to
meet, as Grace confided with a complacent smile, the
plate-glass salesman who read poetry. People turned to
survey Grace, poised by the train gate, drawn by the
power of her glowing face, of her dominant mood, of
her feet moving so buoyantly that they seemed fluent
over the stone, and Anita watched her, feeling heavy
by her side, very poor, very dull. When the train arrived
she said a hasty good-bye. This time she would not wait
for dismissal.
Row after row of sedate brownstone houses met
Blake in his part of Brooklyn and stolidly followed his
homecoming. There was no shaking them off. When he
left one behind, a similar house rose beside it. In
summer a few hotels before whose doors lines of taxis
churned, along whose tops roof gardens sparkled in the
sky, sent a thin trill of vivacity through the surrounding
section; in winter even the hotels were quiet. He chose
his own home by number instead of by recognition and,
noting his baby carriage behind the stairs, he knew that
he had made no mistake. All the circumstances of his
daily return: the evidence of the child; the bell ticking
eagerly to his ring; the door opening to his footsteps;
the shaft of light in its angle, ready to embrace—all
these details, a source of cheer and comfort perhaps to
his neighbor returning like himself, he never failed to
find oppressive. He just brushed his wife's cheek, so
softly extended, and went by.
Edith spoke of the weather, carefully circling his
defection from dinner. They never quarreled. She was
determined that he should have no fault to find with
her, not realizing that, with a person one should love and
doesn't, the very lack of faults is in itself the most
alienating fault.
She hung up the coat he had thrown over a chair.
There was nothing more to do in the kitchen so she sat
down near him. She was tall, graceful, had always carried
herself with dignity, and a strain, a weariness about her,
the first hint of the erosion of her daily life, could not
destroy the perfect balance of her features, the peculiar
charming shade of her red hair, firmly coiled. All her
gestures remained calm. When she wheeled the baby
carriage, thinking—thinking of Blake and of their child
and of herself—people would take her for a nice-looking
young matron, a little pale perhaps, a little tired
from household duties.
"I guess I'll lie down," said Blake. "Will you leave
some coffee for me?"
He preferred to work from midnight to dawn, then
to sleep till afternoon, a schedule to which his wife
had adapted herself with distinct doubts of its irregularity.
Especially now, since the birth of the baby, she
found the custom trying. But she would not say much.
Only...
"Is Jerry coming again?"
"No. He can't work without a piano."
She looked relieved. Jerry was to write the music for
the play, and when he and Blake collaborated, clicking
a typewriter and humming portions of songs, the baby
stirred, Edith was afraid the neighbors might complain.
Someone had already spoken to the janitor about the
noise of the typewriter in the small hours. She mentioned
this to Blake without comment.
He glanced up quickly. "I could work in Jerry's
room," he said, "I'll have to anyhow, once in a while.
He can't do much here because there is no piano."
"Where would Jerry sleep then?"
"Oh, well..." He did not feel that he cared to
explain the various ways in which Jerry whiled away
his nights.
"It won't be very pleasant for me, to be alone," said
Edith softly.
"Well, we don't have to work together yet. I thought,
if you had rather..."
"No. Only—the baby—but I think he's grown used
to it."
Blake said no more.
It was this indifference, an impenetrable neutrality
of action, word, expression, that defeated her time after
tune as the smooth back of a duck defeats drops of
water. With a man who ignored the past and would not
glance at the future, she found fewer and fewer loopholes
to evoke past tendernesses, to envisage future plans.
She watched him from under her lids. He sat on the
couch, turning the sheets of a newspaper and, though
he uttered no word, it was apparent that he waited for
her to relinquish him so that he could go to sleep. He
sat there, sober, thin-faced, with his mouth in a tight
line. Of late he held his mouth in a glummer, closer
line than ever and spoke as if it were a trouble to open it.
She observed—but it was so impossible to feel, to
know what he thought. The effort to concentrate and
seize his mind behind the pale, high temples only drained
her own mind of every idea, of every hope, and left her
dry, her body taut, and within her, her nerves, the
muscles of her heart fluttering in a disordered measure,
frightening, unrestrainable. She made a grimace,
attempting to control them, concluding, as she always did,
that she had been weakened by the birth of the child.
She was not able to rise just yet.
To justify her presence she asked with a certain
timidity, though it was such a natural question from
a wife to a husband, "Are you worried over anything?"
A fresh line cut itself between his brows. He shook
his head.
But this gesture was not colorless as usual; there was
a distinctness to it, a harshness, that seemed to her to
offer a clue. "Would it be about money?"
"Do you need any money?" he said briefly.
"I shall soon."
Now he pondered above the paper, studying the wall
and keeping very quiet. This silence cut her to the heart.
In the past she had perhaps laid too much emphasis
on his pursuit of an alien will-o'-the-wisp, on the
snapping of those moorings which she could see no sensible
reason to loosen. She was sorry for that, even if she
still saw no reason and still longed for the moorings.
In spite of herself, she often tried to impress upon him
subtly the harassment of their present life in contrast
to their old life, hoping the difference would become as
clear to him as it was to her, certain that once it was
clear it would also be abhorrent. At the same time she
could not bear to see him thus struggling with his eyes
on the opposite wall. And at the same time it was true
that she would soon need money, and it was Blake she
had to look to for its provision.
"I'll have to ask Fred," he muttered, more to himself
than to her. "He ought to have some ready for me now."
"I can't see why he doesn't pay you regularly," ventured
Edith.
"Oh, it's the way they do things. The acts don't
always pay regularly. It's show business." He emphasized
the last words by a sneer and Edith glanced at him with
a sudden, swift hope.
"Blake," she said, "I have a letter from your mother.
Wouldn't you like to go back home for a short visit
and look around? Perhaps you would like it so much
better now." In her eagerness, she was leaning over and
looking wistfully into his eyes.
He withdrew them. "No!" he said.
"It wouldn't be giving up. It would be just a visit."
"No."
But they were talking now, they were discussing their
common life, and even negation was more cheerful than
a return to silence.
"You know I'm not so well, Blake," she went on
gently. "It's my heart."
He could not help a pale smile behind the paper.
He looked to see whether she, too, had noticed. But no,
she was entirely unaware, entirely serious, as she
continued, "Having the child has strained my heart, the
doctor says."
Now he looked her straight in the eye. "Whose fault
was that?" his eyes challenged her, and, flushing, she
would not lower hers and answered them with pride.
"Well?" he said.
"The rest would do me good."
He rustled a sheet of his paper while she waited. She
had some moments to imagine the elation with which
she would return home, the relief at having removed
him, at least for a while, from this environment which
had so changed him, so that his next words struck her
with twice the force of surprise.
"Well, why don't you go, then?" he said quietly. "I
guess I can raise the fare, if that worries you."
She was speechless. She stared at him, searching his
immobility with a last intense and useless effort, like a
searchlight attempting to probe a stone wall. Every line
of his face was obvious to her; she saw the tight-shut
lips, the pale brows drawn together, the cheeks too thin
for their squareness, and a light lock of hair falling over
the temples, and that was all. For a second his neutrality
had vanished; a rift had appeared in the wall, offering a
glimpse of what lay behind it, and had closed in that
second, too swiftly for her to see. Why had she not been
alert? Now, search as she would, scan every detail of his
expression, no trace remained of where the rift lay, much
less of why it lay there, if it did. She rose at last. At
the door she paused, trying to get less than an idea,
merely a hint of some idea.
"Would it relieve you," she asked, "if I went home
for a time?"
"What do you think?"
She went into the kitchen and set about making fresh
coffee with many small busy movements, so as not to
think at present. When she looked into the room again
the light had been put out and she could not see his
face where he lay on the couch. But she thought that he
slept.
Not till the plant has forged through the ground
can we see that the seed was fertile and events ripe for
its blossoming. Thus, too, our lives are made up of
accidents, chance seeds of the residue Nature provides
against barrenness, blown by the wind of every-day,
taking no root in our existence; and of coincidences
which are accidents that find the soil receptive and
come to fruition. Without specific design on Blake's
part, the conjunction of a certain mood of his and
certain words of Edith's had caused to happen that
which he and Grace had so much desired. Edith had
withdrawn voluntarily. She went home on what she
thought was a long visit. Blake had merely now to keep
her there, which was simpler.
The sunshine of the noons to which Blake opened his
eyes that summer stroked his lids with a special zest. He
had divested himself of the apartment in Brooklyn and
gone to live with Jerry. From the first moment of
waking he felt the hum of the street outside, a midtown
Manhattan street that repeated like a second, fainter
chorus the shining song of Fifth Avenue, mingled with
the troubled, grimier notes of Sixth, where men stood
with eyes glued to employment lists, where the El roared
and small shops jostled each other and clamored. Blake's
bed was soft and wide. It was part of the bedroom suite
brought from St. Louis via Brooklyn, and in the midst
of the dark blue hush of a semi-sacred parlor set which
Edith had once chosen with such care, Jerry sprawled,
his clothes neatly folded and himself sunk in a red,
torpid slumber.
Their place and the house itself had the quietude of
sleep, in spite of the sunshine, the sound of wheels
sizzling up the black, hot street, the hoots of cars and a
light zigzag of some work far off that rose, that ebbed,
that never ceased. Negro maids were treading the carpeted
stairs, clicking keys in doors closed upon a similar
silence, and outside the black porter applied luster to
the banisters with a languid hand.
When the telephone buzzed Blake dragged it into bed
with him by its cord and spoke sleepily to Grace.
"Hello," he said, and "Yes," he said with a yawn, "I'm
just getting up." A more distinct effort of gallantry
greeted the next call. Nearly every day this female
voice, which had phoned to ask about one of his
vaudeville playlets, continued to pursue him with
semi-mysterious and flattering banter.
"Who'z'at?" called Jerry drowsily from the living
room. He made his entrance, rumpled, opening and shutting
gelid lids to the motes of sunshine, as if in a sort of
exercise, and in his brief glimpses expressing disapproval
of the tossed state of the room. In contrast with his
genial disposition and life of easy concurrence, Jerry
was a stickler for the tidiness of material objects. He
picked up things; he straightened things; ashes on the
carpet turned his face wry as much as a false note or a
piano out of tune. "Who'z'at?" he said, and sitting down
on the bed, "I got to cut this out."
"No one for you. You want to train your lady friends
not to call you at 3 A.M. There was some girl ringing
this phone every half hour from three to five."
"Same girl? Mm. Musta been Madalynne. You got
yours trained, haven't you?" said Jerry sadly.
In leisurely fashion, Blake's day unwound ahead of
him. He walked up his street which pleased him with its
width, the houses having long ago been built back so
that they, too, seemed to have leisure. On Sixth Avenue
he passed the groups of men who stood before the
employment bulletins, their hands hanging loose, their
mouths dully open, peering at each letter and still
irresolute whether to enter or leave, as if they knew that,
no matter which action they chose, it would come to
the same thing in the end. The air, brilliant with heat,
picked out each spot of wear, each harsh line, awkward
bones, and coarse hands, weaving in and out and about
the groups in a nimble grotesquerie of light and more
light and in final, swift rays not ignoring the stocky
ankles of women, the cheap glazed fibers of a stocking,
a smudge of a face, dingy, blemished, under the inquiring
eye of the sun. Blake moved around them. Turning
the corner, he went by the Friars' Club. Here was
another knot of men loath to leave the sunshine that
stroked their sleek shoulders and polished boots and
tinged full cheeks and fleshy cheeks. Blake sent a cool
glance through this group. He knew some of the men
by sight.
When he reached the restaurant on Broadway he
opened his mail and lost some of his tranquillity. He had
a letter from his wife, three pages of small, even words,
upon which a few bulbs, burning high in the chandelier
even at noon, cast a weird, too-naked light. It was as
if this room could not exist without some promise of
the glittering night. Its chandeliers were gilded and its
walls were adorned wherever possible with the same
grimy gilt. The raucous blonde hair of his waitress
remonstrated harshly with long, dusty rays of sunlight
creeping in—and so did her gold teeth.
He wished to tear the letter up but there was no place
to throw the pieces, so with a frown he restored it to his
pocket. He had formed the habit of sending his wife
money with merely a line of enclosure, but her small,
even words continued to groove a path to reach him,
each word wearing as a drop of water, each containing
a minute part of the energy of its sender, and each to be
evaded by the intangible negation of its recipient.
Afterward Blake went to the theater where his show
was to be rehearsed. At the press agent's suggestion they
had sent out a call for chorus girls with long hair. Blake
found a few reporters; Jerry, with his coat off,
haranguing the orchestra which he was to conduct; and the bare
lines of the stage, its bare steps, even its bare floor,
hidden by the soft bodies, the pale arms, long legs, the
bright clothes of girls. Most of them had taken off their
hats, and a few had even loosened their hair, spreading
triumphant, delicate fans of gold and auburn, of dusk
and chestnut about them.
The press agent was counting the long-haired ones.
He returned in disgust.
"This is Mother's Day in the Old Ladies' Home," he
said. "Not a long-haired dame under forty, I swear."
"There's a little blonde over there," suggested a reporter.
"Yeh—go look at her close and you'll find she has a
grandchild. If you can pick anything out of this
lot——"
The producer lowered himself into a front-row seat,
resting a short arm on either side and his jowls on his
chest. The director, on the other hand, was a tiny,
gnarled person who wiped the back of his neck with a
bandanna and cursed legs and girls. The theater was
choked with heat. The girls said, "Whew!" and waved
bits of handkerchiefs and rubbed and powdered their
noses without respite.
"Now, you girls stand up and come to the center of
the stage. No. Not all at once. Say, you Bill, you get
them into line. A dozen at a time, Bill. Goddamn this
heat. Goddamn everything above two inches."
Some of the girls thought fit to smile. Others held
grave faces and looked loftily up to the dome of the
theater. Others drew themselves up in the line, took
a dancing pose, gyrated slowly round like models. And
each dozen, clad in varying plumage—in summer silk
that clung to hips and breasts, in organdy with great,
crisp hats, in practice bloomers that exposed pink flesh,
dimples, the slim bones of ankles in businesslike nakedness,
leaving the girls as pathetically unhidden as long,
plucked fowls—each dozen moved with sealed faces,
with indifferent faces, with open giggles before the
lidded eyes of the producer and the sneering inspection
of the director, before Blake to whom they all looked
flawed for his show, who was disappointed in all of
them, before Jerry who was touched by each pretty
face, before the reporters who were pleased to be in the
presence of so many chorus girls.
"Here, you with the Dutch cut—no, not you—that
girl there." A girl seemed startled, said, "Me?" and
stepped to one side. "You with the blue bloomers. Yeh.
That one. And that one. Step back you with the hair
and let me see the others. Yes, I mean you. Goddamn
it, dear, will you step back?"
The producer whispered to the director.
"That little girl with the curls, didn't I see you around
the Savoy in London?"
The others cast sharp looks from her to the men.
"Why, I've been to England," said the girl haughtily.
Someone snickered.
"Just stop that noise, now, just stop that noise,"
shouted the director. "Whaddye think this is, a tea
party? You girls, what are you waiting for? If your
names haven't been taken, go on home. Go on. Get
them out, Bill."
A girl called, "You haven't even looked at us."
"Oh, I haven't looked at you, haven't I? All right,
step forward, I'll look at you now."
She stepped forward hardily, pirouetted, kicked out
and would have continued.
"That's all right," snapped the director. "You don't
have to go into your dance for us. We know you're a
Pavlowa. But I'll say that for you, dear," he added,
"you're worth looking at. Take her name, Bill. Any
others we haven't looked at? Come on. Step forward
or go home."
Those who had not been chosen lingered about the
stage. The youth named Bill, his collar open at the
throat, a pad in his hand, dispersed group after group
into receding fragments, only to have them congeal
again, murmuring, with eyes on the men who had not
yet gone, opposing to his hoarse shouts the massed
immobility of their hope. Drive them as he would, they
moved forward, they moved back, unheeding, passive,
according to some pattern of their own instinct.
"Only two in the bunch with long hair," said the
press agent to the reporters. "That's a hot one for you."
"These babies look all right, but can they sing and
dance? That's what I'd like to know," said the director.
"Bill, tell 'em to come here same time to-morrow. Hey,
you, all of you whose names we got, same time to-morrow.
And no use any of you others coming—hear me?—no use!"
He added pessimistically, "Better send out a call for
another batch."
When Blake turned the corner of his street again
the retreating sun had strewn the sky with minute pink
clouds, crisping one within the other like rose petals
across one side of heaven. Lucent the air lay over the
brownstone houses and bright summer awnings of tea
rooms and over the bodies of limousines before the
smooth shop windows. And in his house, where the
windows were open, the light swam over Grace's pure
skin as in another ether, in tiny bounding motes of
light and shade. There was a mote on her nose and one
that fled along her cheek and he kissed these, searching
them out to the reward of her deep amusement. They
made a circuit of the room in an embrace exaggerated
so as not to come within the terms of sentimentality,
an improbable embrace, a travesty on embraces, which
yet could not conceal the force and persistence of their
arms about each other, their utter absorption in each
other, as, like great actors immersed in their parts, they
set up a dais for themselves and swept below, aside, the
audience of Jerry and his exuberant Madalynne.
Madalynne was a girl with a superfluity of everything—of
flesh, of hair, of clothes, of complexion, of voice,
and of the love which she lavished on Jerry. Even her
name was over-spelt. With Grace she had felt it
necessary to adopt a superfluity of dignity, matching, she
thought, Grace's own, but in the presence of this
embrace she felt that the barriers had been let down. She
cast herself on Jerry's bosom, exuding baby talk at
every pore.
Grace and Blake laughed into each other's eyes with
a mute laughter, with a derisive understanding. "The
perfect hot momma," murmured Grace, and aloud,
taking pity on Jerry, she said to him, "Does Blake's
mysterious lady still call every day?"
"Does he tell you that?" said Jerry. He freed himself
by a number of shakes and pats, good-natured and
indifferent, much as one does with an over-fond dog.
"I'll never understand you two."
"And you stand for it?" demanded Madalynne. "My
God! How can you bear it?" she cried. "Why, if such
a thing happened with Jerry I'd never rest till I settled
it. And Blake, how can you act that way to your girl
friend? Shame on you! Jerry wouldn't do that to
Momma, would'ums? Yum-yum."
Grace quickly put her hand up to her mouth. "I
want him to ask her to the opening," she said.
"So you can meet her and judge what you're up
against?"
Blake could not hide a certain gratification and Grace
said to him, "I can meet her without you. Dee knows
a woman who knows her."
"I knew I shouldn't have told you her name."
"Always keep your girls separate," declared Jerry
solemnly. "Take it from me——"
"What! What girls are you keeping separate, Jerry
Barker?"
"Not a one, hon. Honest-to-God, dear. I'm just
advising Blake. You're the only girl for me."
"That's what you say. But I'd like to know about
this. How come you know so much about keeping girls
separate? I tell you I won't stand for any of that. I
don't like the idea of girls being free to chase in and
out of this place—I don't mean you, Grace. You tell
Momma, Jerry, you 'fess up, you naughty boy, what've
you been up to?"
"I swear to you, hon, I've had enough of—I mean—I've
got you and that's enough for me."
"Jerry lov'ums his momma?"
"Absolutely, hon."
Outside, Grace remarked, "Does she really think
Jerry'll marry her? She told me he promised her a
diamond ring if the show went over."
"She can think what she likes," said Blake. "So he
promised her a diamond ring?" He smiled sardonically.
"The more fool he. He's got his hands full."
Grace sent him a strange, fleeting look. How men did
resent a woman who concluded that the most heart-easing
satisfaction she was likely to obtain from a man
was money or its equivalent! Was it because she was a
proof, which even they could not overlook, of the
insufficiency of their own irresistible charms?
However, she kept quiet.
On the night Blake's play opened, as she entered
the theater, the first person Anita saw was Grace. She
stood at the head of the center aisle, within a little
group of which she was acting as heart and core. To
her throat, held aloof, as if beyond the reach of glances
from the inflowing and anonymous crowd and almost
beyond the reach of friendly nods, she was folded in a
shawl of ivory silk. And her very soul had sheathed itself
in silken hauteur, as she stood with eyes that wandered
deeply over the lighted theater and the faces agog for
pleasure, over silken shoulders and bare shoulders and
shoulders black and gray jostling down the aisles and
across the aisles toward pleasure. Now and then she
murmured some preoccupied reply, not deigning to
lower her eyes, to one of the group surrounding her.
Now and then she emerged from this group, swooped
from her height with a sudden nod to an entering person,
a greeting of unexpected cordiality, a fastening of
her eyes upon him.
As Anita was about to approach she issued entirely
from her circle and, with no move of seizure, with her
arms close under the ivory shawl, she seemed to assume
possession of a man just passing by, to spiritually clutch
his coat-tails and bring him to a halt.
"I'm so glad—you could come, Maurice," she said
with her significant pauses.
To the girl who had loosed his arm and moved ahead
of him she gave no attention at the moment. However,
without waiting for notice, this girl carelessly turned
her face. It was fair as a spring morning. She drawled
to Grace, "H'are yuh? Gettin' along?"
And she added with a derisive sweep of her hands up
from her nose, "I see yuh're comin' up in the
world—yup-in-the-world," and swayed down the aisle.
Imperceptibly, the group drew near Grace again and
imperceptibly drew nearer, as if there was that in her
shadow which separated them from the anonymous
inflow. They kept close under her wing—Letty and
Harold, the Lindens, who were friends of theirs, and
some persons Anita did not know—staring about over
the theater, mantled by her importance, individualizing
themselves again as the friends of the author.
Anita attracted a vague "hello" from Grace. In spite
of motions from Letty, she went on to her seat. She had
not wished to come, but Grace seemed to find her lack
of excitement annoying and she did not like to offend
Grace. The latter had been so kind about getting her
her job. She was alone. She had never been to an
opening night and watched with solitary interest a
hocus-pocus of ceremonial new to her.
In the first rows, among which she sat, everyone
seemed to perform the ritual of knowing one another.
As soon as a person reached a seat, he or she would
search the surrounding faces for signs of recognition and
attempt to form alliance with some portion of the
scattered inner circle who were making this opening their
festive and intimate occasion. All the other
undifferentiated faces, tiers and tiers, on the balcony, up and
down the rows, pressed heavily forward; a shower of
undifferentiated chatter and laughter splashed the
theater like a shower of bright raindrops. One mustn't
let oneself be swamped by these other faces. And every
nod, every acknowledging glance, every knowing remark
was a slight thread to grasp with which to outline the
boundary between those within and the other
undistinguished mass without. It was as if the more nods, the
more smiles they collected, the more exchanges of
specialized gossip, the more assurance they gained that
this boundary was defined. It was as if each nod, each
smile, each familiar greeting slowly brought their
individualities into shape from formlessness, like chemicals
etching on seemingly blank paper inch by inch the outlines
of a secret script. It was as if, in the widening scope
of these nods, these smiles, these familiar greetings, they
could see their individualities expand and gauge their
bulk, as one may gauge the bulk of a stone by the
widening ripples in the water.
In the anticipant hush after the first lights had been
dimmed Grace advanced down the aisle. Blake would not
sit with her. Sleek in evening clothes, he spoke quietly
and did his best to suppress excitement or suspense. But
his voice gave him away. He was quite hoarse. Grace
was saying, "Considering that it's a musical show and
there are two other openings, what can you expect? The
critics would naturally choose Toreador. Maurice Lensky
came anyway—that's something. And I saw Edmond
Edmonds, too. Really—if you get two of the second-string
critics, that's doing very well, with two—more
imposing—shows opening the same night."
Blake frowned and moved away. Her eyes looked after
him in some surprise, while a smile rose to her lips, and
seeing Anita near her she whispered, "He hates me to
say any show is more important. I never dreamed he
would take this—so seriously." She passed, smiling to
herself, and was followed by Diana Porter Reece with
her husband and a man who, Anita noticed gratefully,
also wore his every-day clothes.
"You go sit by Anita," said Diana Reece.
Somebody shushed her. The last lights went out and
left this man, whose red hair was plastered every which
way on his neck and forehead, fumbling at his seat. He
grinned at Anita. The curtain rose.
Soon after the play had started a whisper fluttered
along the row from Grace through Diana Reece and
reached Anita. She saw a man proceeding down the
aisle, followed by a blonde woman who dragged tennis
rackets. The man took his seat first, then drew himself
away so that he hung over the aisle, in order to let the
woman pass. He continued to sit in this fashion. It was
a colyumnist with his wife. From time to time Grace
craned her neck to see whether he smiled or applauded.
The play was a neat little play, neither as lavish as
most musical comedies nor quite as vapid. Blake had
permitted himself the boast that there was not one scene
in which the hero dreamed of chorus girls portraying
anything, whether the Spirits of Bituminous Coal or the
Fashions of Yesteryear. His boast was justified. The
curtain fell on the mild glow of a neat little melody,
"Your Kisses Are Blisses." The audience hummed it and
the orchestra plugged away at it. All the people who
knew each other rose and hurried to the lobby. "Come
along," said Diana Reece kindly. So Anita came along,
too.
The confusion of the lobby under yellow lights
gradually resolved itself into groups of people, smiling,
nodding, exchanging specialized gossip, asking each other
how they liked the show and answering with an aplomb
that would mark them for the initiate. "Well, what
do you think of it?" "Not so hot, huh?" "Think it'll
go?" "Why not?" "Got one good song." "And one set.
It won't take 'em long to work off the nut, anyhow."
"Good chorus. Not a bad idea, a specialty chorus."
"Well, how do you like it?" said Grace, coming up
with warm cheeks of excitement and enormous eyes.
"I don't know where Blake has disappeared. Everybody
wants to see him."
"It's swell so far," declared Diana Reece. The bronze
flesh of her shoulders shone above a blazing wrap.
Her husband added in his heavy, slow voice, "That's
a good tune."
"'Your Kisses Are Blisses.' Yes. I think—that should
be a hit."
The third man kept a solemn silence. Anita thought
that he looked like the Irishmen in the comic strips,
square with a wide, almost lipless mouth, a stubby nose
and, yes, freckles. He had, moreover, their very
expression, subtly naughty and unblinkingly solemn. Grace
was looking at him, too, with a coy lift of her brows
that Anita understood meant she was aware of him.
"How did you like it, Dennis?" she asked.
"O.K.," said Dennis through his nose.
Diana's laughter rippled broadly. "That's all you'll
ever get out of him. Look, Grace," she said. "There's
your mysterious telephone lady. There's Renie Harrington,
large as life and just as permanent, if you can
figure out what I mean."
They all saw Blake approaching with a little golden-haired
woman, all in white, lavishing animated hands,
animated eyes, and an animated, pointed face entirely on
him, while his own countenance showed, in spite of itself,
a pale tinge of pleasure.
"Try dynamite," advised Diana. "That may dislodge
her, but, mind you, I make no promises."
Grace moved toward them at once, wrapped in her
ivory shawl, cool. "I've been out—gathering opinions,"
she said to Blake. "Everyone is crazy about that song."
The other woman paused and, in several glances, they
considered each other. She made a slight retreat. "I've
just been telling Mr. Andrews how charming my
husband and I think it is. And we really do know quite a
bit about the theater, in spite of being amateurs. Even
Mr. Andrews has heard of our little theater." Eyes,
hands, lips, and the pointed chin all assisted in a
crescendo of admiration, now discreetly including Grace.
Blake had no choice but to introduce them, so that
they could measure each other in full politeness,
reconnoitering with their eyes, with soft words, along each
other's soft, self-contained faces for the exact situation.
"You must all really come and see our little theater,"
said Mrs. Harrington. "At the Peck Settlement."
And, "Are you—coming to Blake's party after the
show?" said Grace.
"If Mr. Andrews asks us," said Mrs. Harrington
coquettishly. So Blake, glancing at Grace with a rueful
amusement, asked her. The bell tinkled.
Again the curtain rose. This time the colyumnist's
seat was empty, causing Grace's face to fall and whispers
to circulate between her and Diana Reece. Only Anita
and the red-haired chap remained unaffected by this
discovery. Soberly, they watched the stage upon which
creatures dazzling in light made no secret of a business-like
exhibition of wares. Neither said a word. Each
applauded conscientiously at the proper moments. At one
such moment, as they caught each other's eye, Dennis
became almost articulate. Pressing one half of his mouth
over the other in a slow grin, like a small boy closing
his lips over stolen jam, he winked. It was an expression
that could not be answered by a smile; it engendered a
similar grin. Anita began to laugh, feeling with surprise
that she was happy for no reason.
The second closing chorus seemed brighter and the
finale poured forth in an urgent volume of vari-colored
melody, light, and noise, rising as high as it could or
dared on the highest of high notes. The orchestra played,
"Your Kisses Are Blisses." The audience rose humming,
"Your Kisses Are Blisses." And out in the lobby they
were selling it: "Get the music of the show—'Your
Kisses Are Blisses.'"
The crowd moved slowly, unsnarled itself from the
tangles at the exits, out into the summer air which no
blatancy of electric lights could harden or speed. Anita
had meant to slip away, but she was caught tight in a
group formed by Grace, who cast her eyes everywhere,
and by other people who were going to the party.
Grace's eyes were somewhat shadowed. Turning to
Anita, who stood nearest, she seized her arm and made
a more eager effort to get out. "I'd better go home,"
murmured Anita, and Grace looked at her in amazement.
"You won't come to the party? You're silly!
You must come with me. I don't know what's happened
to Blake." She was no longer remote. The outline
of her face, always quick to reflect inner commotion,
had hardened. It had a sudden tragic emphasis as her
eyes widened, grew deep and obscure with whatever
momentarily troubled thoughts engaged her. What these
could be Anita did not understand, but she was caught
up and swept along.
They found Blake already at his apartment, playing
host to the Harringtons and to some individuals who
were devoted exclusively to the cocktails. Blake strewed
cheer like beams of sunshine about him. He poured
drinks for people, hastening here and there almost on
the balls of his feet, and patting Anita's arm, to her
great surprise. Grace seemed almost as surprised, seemed
at a loss. With her all-encompassing gaze, with a serene
demeanour in which lurked a hint of challenge, lovely
in chiffon whose rose-hued pallor was differentiated only
by a shade from the glowing pallor of her skin, she
moved about under the watching eyes of Renie
Harrington, defining her place as hostess. Renie
Harrington's dashing eyes rested on her from time to time,
sensing, retreating, adjusting. Grace went to sit by her.
They engaged in animated conversation. Anita, passing
by, heard Grace suggest, "Let's—have a lunch date
sometime, shall we?"
Shortly, the entrance of the rest of the party was
heralded by Diana Reece. She had thrown off her
flaming shawl. She burst upon them from the doorway in
sequins that shimmered and dazzled and glittered sinuously
with each step, in bracelets that clinked, in a bar
pin whose diamond sparkle went clear across the room
and stabbed the eyes of a youth between cocktails and
reality. He had had a deal to drink, and, blinking in
this brilliance composed of scintillas that flashed before
his eyes unseizably in his condition, bewildered by the
rays of diamonds, the shine of golden bracelets, the
fleshly luxuriance of rich dark skin and a red mouth,
he had one of the sudden inspirations of the inebriate.
He stalked across the room to Dee and took her hand
and faced the company.
"Produced by Morris Gest," he said with due solemnity.
And retired amid the ensuing plaudits and seemed
to vanish and was heard of no more that night.
For a time, Anita and Dennis managed to sit very
cheerfully together by a window open into warm and
misty air. They attracted no attention. They said
almost nothing, unless a series of grins and answering
grins could be considered talk. She did not even know
his name. There was between them the curious
unrestraint of strangers meeting with no background but
that of the particular time and the particular space, and
sure to part there. But when Anita saw Grace stare
at them with an amused and dawning comprehension in
the depths of her eyes, saw Grace advance toward
them, like a mutual friend breaking in upon the
unbounded sympathy of strangers, enclosing it at once
within the restrictions of the social order, she felt a
qualm of uneasiness and wished to retreat. Dennis,
however, had now managed to drink enough to simulate
articulateness. He grasped her hand in alarm, pulling
her back. "Ah, no! Don't go!"
Grace took a seat and surveyed them with a slight,
surprised smile, with an approving intimacy.
"What do you find to say to each other?" she demanded.
Taken unawares, they raised their eyes and looked at
each other with another grin. Grace stared at Dennis,
then back to Anita more fully, revolving almost
distinctly, on the surface of her eyes, a new appraisal of
Anita's possibilities.
"Why aren't you dancing?" she suggested. They
hadn't thought of it.
"Dennis is a very good dancer," said Grace. She
probed Anita's face, seeming to hint for some response
to what she was arranging, which was not clear to
Anita. "You ought to see him on a real dance
floor." She added with many pauses and the advance and
inflation of her eyes, "Why don't we—have a dancing
date sometime? Dennis and you and Blake and I and
Dee and one of her young men?"
"O.K.," said Dennis agreeably.
"Next week—maybe?"
"O.K.," said Dennis. "Any time you say."
"Well—I'll make the arrangements—and call you,"
she added, and glanced at Anita for gratitude. But
Anita was flushing. It seemed to her that the shameless
mechanism of Grace's plans must be as apparent to Dennis
as it was to her. Grace had acted in all friendliness
and she would look forward to the date—and yet some
of the easiness had vanished. Her face, when she looked
at Dennis thereafter, must wear a certain constraint.
It was a good party. Two policemen, called by some
unaccountable neighboring spinsters in the small hours,
saw at once that no one was less than conventionally
clothed and no one more than conventionally drunk.
They agreed in righteous indignation at the insomnia
of spinsters. They said, "Why this is a nice
party!" They were welcomed into it. A girl borrowed one
officer's cap and club and did a dance, while they
watched indulgently from the doorway. They were
offered a drink and did not refuse. Blake, at the peak
of goodwill toward all the world, pressed passes to his
show upon them. Everyone was grateful for the seal
of true abandon which they had set on the party.
Everyone would be glad to tell of having been to a
party which had brought police intervention. On leaving,
everyone said with satisfaction, "A swell party!"
Grace was going home with Harold and Letty. She
made a definite ceremony of departure for the benefit
of Renie Harrington who, bolstered by her husband,
sat on and glanced and sensed, an acute reminder of the
exigencies of social usage. Renie Harrington's artful eyes
silkily subverted the position of hostess which Grace
had taken such care to indicate.
"We'll—see each other again—soon, won't we?" said
Grace.
"Oh, are you going?" said Renie Harrington. And
her eyes rubbed in the fact that, after all, Grace had to
go. Ah, those leave-takings so often, at the end,
forcing her outside!
She drew Anita apart to say good-bye.
"Is Dennis taking you home?" she inquired.
He was.
"Anita," said Grace wistfully, "he's awfully nice. We
could all have such a lot of fun together if we had a
place."
Her eyes were still, so still, with a velvet pathos. She
looked weary and lines of strain had lengthened her
cheeks above the ivory shawl. She pressed Anita's hand
with a sudden clutching warmth, and had to go.
Grace's lunch date with Renie Harrington had to
be postponed, for Renie explained that she seldom came
to town during the summer. As soon as Grace heard
of her return, therefore, she called up.
She was surprised to find herself haled to tea. Perhaps
Renie had discovered that, socially, it was not so
possible to remain unaware of Grace in connection with
Blake. This was what Grace minded—not so much that
Blake had been loath to reveal her existence to Renie
Harrington, but that Renie could invite him to her
country home for dinner—alone—and for week-ends—alone.
Of course, Grace knew that she also could move
in circles apart from Blake, but she didn't want to; it
gave her a sense of stability to have the pair of them
recognized as a social unit.
Renie Harrington lived on the less fashionable west
side of the park. In a living room lined with books
and charming trinkets, and arranged to express wealth
with unusual lack of ostentation, Grace learned that
her hostess spoke French and Spanish, that she knew
about "incunabula," whatever they were, that she
collected first editions, went to auction sales, had an
acquaintance by no means naïve and worshipful, yet a bit
wistful, with practitioners of the arts, and that she and
her husband were wrapped up in the theater at the
settlement house. Dick trained the members in acrobatic
dancing and Renie helped him to choose and stage
the shows. Yet she was not a "yearner," Grace thought.
She was no fool and very amusing. Her hair cast a
golden shadow over the sharpness of her chin and the
suggestion of lines about her cherubic lips, it sent a gleam
like that of a sunbeam skimming over her words,
delicately shining, delicately hiding. She had many fine
gestures to suit.
"Would you mind if we went to look at my child?"
she said after a time. "I'm playing nurse maid this
afternoon. Just think, I have three children. I'd like a
fourth. But, you see, there's been a strange rivalry on
that score between myself and my sister and my cousin;
we were all married about the same time and whenever
either of us has a child, the others feel they must have
one also. After the third childbirth my cousin was left
so weak that Aunt called upon Nannie and myself
and said, 'Don't you think it's about time you girls
stopped bearing children? You'll be the death of each
other yet.' So we have ceased! Enfin!"
Grace raised her eyebrows and remarked that it was,
indeed, a strange rivalry.
They were now in the nursery. "What do you think
of Anne-Marie?" said Renie.
"She's a very—cunning child." Grace approached the
crib on tiptoe. "I should say she looked rather like your
husband."
"Doesn't she? Isn't it strange? You'll see how
strange it is when I tell you the story."
Once more in the living room, she settled herself on
a green couch, and though she did not steal looks to
right and left, she gave that impression.
"I shouldn't tell you," she said. "If you'll promise
to be as silent as the grave—well, and so this is what
happened. We were in the hospital, my sister and I, at
about the same time, but my little child died—and
Nannie had twins! The irony of it! You can imagine how
devastated I was—and there was poor Nannie with two
little girls already and two more to bring up. So I had a
brilliant inspiration and—in short, Nannie consented
to give me one of the twins to raise as my own—and
that twin is Anne-Marie!"
For an instant Grace was genuinely startled.
"Why, but everyone thinks you have three children
of your own. I remember Dee Reece mentioned it—and
Blake——"
"Oh," cried Renie with a little squeal, "but we
haven't breathed it to a soul! No one knows except
the immediate family. Remember, you mustn't
tell—mustn't tell even Blake—though I suppose you tell
each other everything?"
It was as if she had stroked Grace with a light velvet
paw that yet left a faint, apprehensive suggestion of a
sting either just administered or just to come. What
she was after Grace did not yet quite understand. She
was fairly sure of what Blake was up to—some little
thing, some word or expression or lack of expression,
the intuition which was not intuition at all but the most
meticulous observation, never failed to give her a clue.
But what might Renie Harrington be capable of?
"Not—necessarily," she said aloud.
"Well, of course," said Renie, retreating (she was
good at retreats, Grace had noticed), "there might
not be anything to tell! Blake is such a charming young
man—and so able—and he has the most perfect taste,
hasn't he? I had to come into town to do some shopping
one day and whom should I stumble upon on Fifth
Avenue but Blake! So he helped me choose scarves and
sweaters and socks and shoes—and a really interesting
cigarette case. See—isn't it fascinating?"
"Yes, it's pretty," said Grace, and in spite of her
disquiet her lips curved demurely as she held the silk case
in her hands. It happened that she herself had pointed
out the case to Blake in a shop window; she felt certain
that he had sent it to Renie. "The little cat!" she
thought suddenly. "She's playing with me—those goofy
stories! That's what she wanted me up here for."
But why should Renie bother to hide the fact that
Blake had sent her a cigarette case? There was a story
Grace had picked up about Renie in the course of her
inquiries, a story which she now remembered. Renie had
married the fiancé of her best friend while the other
girl's back was turned.
"Speaking of Blake," Grace said, "you know we go
about a lot to first nights—I have enough theatrical
connections to get good first-night tickets without much
trouble. I wondered—if you'd like to come with us
some time?"
"Oh, I'd like to. I'd have to ask Dick, of course. He's
being very busy just now. We're old-fashioned. We
don't believe in having dates apart from each other."
"You like to keep your eyes on each other," thought
Grace, and she recollected that, so far, she had never
suspected Blake of having any but afternoon dates with
Renie.
"Of course, I meant to include him," she said aloud.
"And you must come up to dinner here some night
with Blake and we'll take you to our theater."
"That would be—lots of fun."
Grace glanced at Renie and it seemed to her that
Renie had taken a swift look at her. Could it be that
Dick was jealous and Renie had been reduced to using
her, Grace, as a shield for her coquetries with Blake?
Nothing could suit Grace better. She didn't mind the
coquetries so long as she knew their limitations. She
felt somewhat relieved.
She went into Renie's room to fix her hair. Renie
followed, talking amiably.
"How nice that you've never cut your hair," she
remarked. "I can't imagine you with short hair, any more
than I can imagine myself. And you do it up so
perfectly!"
"Well, it isn't so good right now," said Grace. "I
usually have a bit cut off now and then. I hate any hint
of a—door-knob—at the back, don't you?"
"Yes, it could be trimmed," said Renie, with her head
to one side. Suddenly she clapped her hands. "Oh, do
let me trim it for you! I adore cutting hair. I always
cut Nannie's hair and my children's hair. I'm an expert.
See, here are the scissors ready to hand. Do let
me—just this once."
Grace laughed and submitted, but with a slight
anxiety. She was rigidly careful of her hair. It had to
be marceled just so and arranged just so. Still—it seemed
silly to object. "Please be sure not to cut too much
off—just a very little bit." She watched Renie in the
glass.
There was one snip, then another. "That's enough,"
said Grace. "No, it isn't even," declared Renie. Before
Grace could stop her there was a third long snip and
Renie had cut off a full quarter of the hair. Grace jerked
her head away. She went quite white and was on the
point of grabbing the shears. Renie stood by, giggling
like a naughty child. "Oh, I couldn't stop myself! It
struck me what fun it would be to bob it. Do let me
bob it, now I've started. Do you know, that's how I
bobbed Nannie's hair—she asked me to trim the ends,
and before she knew it I had it all cut off. Such a joke
on her!"
"It must have been," said Grace, quivering. After a
second during which she clenched her hands tight, she
gathered the remainder of her hair into a knot. It was
difficult, since Grace's hair had not been very long in
the first place. Some of the hairpins would not hold; a
few ends straggled.
"Oh, you don't really mind," coaxed Renie. Grace
could see her face in the glass. It looked impishly
cheerful. "Why, it'll grow in no time. Nannie and I are
always playing jokes like that on each other. Just this
summer, in the country, I asked her to put a freckle
lotion on my face and she spread on some stuff that's
supposed to make hair grow! Fortunately, it didn't
work—but we laughed over it for ages."
"What a happy family that must be!" thought
Grace. The hair stayed up, anyhow. It might have been
worse. She tucked on her hat and managed a smile.
"Well, it was certainly nearly a joke on me," she said, in
a tone that tried to be tolerant but kept a residue of
crispness. She was, in fact, almost scared, and so
nervous that she could not bear Renie another moment.
The latter showered her with expressions of penitence.
"I never thought you'd mind so much. I can't
resist a practical joke—it's an inane trait, I know. Do
let me—— Oh, a Spanish comb would be stunning on
you—with your eyes. I have a gorgeous one presented
to me by an admirer, and, as often happens with the
presents of admirers, I have no use for it. If you can
wear it..."
Grace departed with the Spanish comb, with a promise
to come to dinner soon and a disturbed sense of being
obliged to defend herself against unfamiliar weapons.
Women weren't supposed to be cats these days, to fight
with rapiers and jeweled daggers and artfully curved
knives, not to mention delicate claws—obsolete weapons
all and so much more flexible and treacherous than the
blunt pistol. Think of trying to ruin your opponent's
hair or her complexion—for she felt almost certain it
was with deliberate malice Renie had used the scissors.
It wasn't done, it wasn't modern!
Dusk had already fallen. It was foggy, windy,
drizzling, and Grace started for home. When she reached
the Sixth Avenue El, however, she changed her mind
and continued to Broadway. Letty had just moved to a
larger apartment a few blocks away, for she was
expecting a child. There would be a story to tell
Letty—and Blake, too.
She was cheered by the lights on Broadway. It was
not indeed like the forest fire of clustered electrics that
burned farther down, shedding, on clear nights, a haze
like smoke over the sky for blocks around. The lights
here were small, farther apart; they fell like a shower
of golden raindrops through the mist.
Now that danger was past, she even began to see
the humor of Renie's ways of warfare. She did not
blame Renie for a flirtation which seemed to be mostly
an idle test of skill—for Renie, she judged, had no idea
of chancing the throw of so solid a bonnet as Dick
Harrington over any windmills. It was often fun to test
one's skill. She did it herself, and if she, why not Renie?
Time was when she would have trembled with jealousy
at Blake's slightest concurrence. But why should she
tremble now? After all, she could concur, too, if she
liked. As one possessing some of the qualities at least
which made for victory, why should she ever be afraid?
She wouldn't be. She wasn't. Let it be always open
season, good hunting for all! Let the defeated, those
who were not strong enough, those who were too
squeamish, plead for quarter, balk at the game, struggle
to change.
It was merely that she disliked women who did not
rule their own closed seasons—a type like Renie, for
instance, for whom much of the interest in an affair
lay in the ability to harass some other woman by it. It
was a type that never trusted others of its sex; no
wonder, when it wasn't to be trusted itself! She, Grace,
would not knowingly engage in a flirtation which meant
nothing to herself but which caused anguish to another
girl. All that other had to do was to ask her to
stop.
Of course, if there were some strong compulsion, such
as there had been with Blake—that was beyond blame
as it was beyond reason. People might say she had taken
a man away from his wife, but it had been through
neither careless experiment nor selfish plan. She had
been compelled to do so—if indeed she had taken that
which had been just as strongly impelled to go. And
she had risked herself, had taken every chance; to be
an "other woman" she had made sacrifices. She
remembered sitting in Schrafft's one day with Ruth, among
matrons who wore diamond engagement rings and
diamond-encrusted wedding rings as they ate whipped-cream
lunches between shopping and the matinée. She
and Ruth had to choose more by the prices on the right
side of the menu than by the dishes on the left. And
Ruth said, as they were skipping dessert ("just two
cups of coffee, please")—Ruth said, with a sweep of
her hand over the fur-coated, diamond-encrusted
mélange, "Pity the poor wives, Grace! Not a diamond
between us and we're these terrible other women!" Then
she and Ruth had to rush back to their jobs. Jobs
bore watching; it was easy to lose jobs. And they had
no one but themselves to rely on. Not laws. Not lovers.
Certainly not Blake! It was his wife whom Blake felt
obligated to shield, his wife whom he permitted to rely
on him. She, Grace, was his equal in love, and equals
bear their own responsibilities without so much as a
complaint, let alone a desire to share their burdens.
She did not mind exactly—but so many of the
responsibilities had sprung from or were accentuated by
Blake. Ma was on the rampage again—Grace had
believed that bringing Blake to dinner now and then
would cause Ma to subside. But she complained that
Grace stayed away too many nights. "Yes! And if Jerry
didn't have his blonde momma, I'd stay away oftener,"
thought Grace defiantly. The solution was an apartment
of her own—another responsibility. She had almost
induced Anita to share it. Anita ought to have a place
in which to receive Dennis. He was worth annexing.
There was a good deal lacking in him but, as Grace had
told Anita, "You can't have everything. Personally, I
would dispense with a lot in a man for the sake of a
little charm." Yet Anita was so obstinate, so childish
in some respects; she could plan and at the same time
she was just as likely to disrupt all plans by a moment
of inopportune revolt. Grace had offered to collect
furniture from among her friends; she had offered to bear
the larger share of expenses. She would have to, since
Anita earned so much less.
Money, money, all this meant money! So much money
for Ma instead of board, so much money for surroundings,
so much for attractive clothes. Fatal to have a lover
ashamed of one's background or one's appearance. And
that led back to the job. If she lost her job—a slip
would do it—so much of the structure so carefully
raised would topple. Money. Job. Blake. Anita. Ma. As
she walked, the words lost sense, threshing back and
forth in her mind.
At Seventy-second Street she had to pause for the
traffic to skid by. The wind from the west slapped her
skirt and the damp girdled her as with a moist,
penetrating arm. The windows of the farther buildings were
glittering scratches, straight up and down and across
mist, hieroglyphs drawn finely and exactly and
meaninglessly in space. It was like being on board
ship—the wind beating about one's head, the air swished with
boos and restless with squeals from the boats. How small
this little island squeezed up out of the water—east,
west, below, beyond, on all sides, rising and tossing and
throbbing and falling—no repose anywhere—one vast,
moaning, mixed-up flux.
At length the traffic stopped and she went on,
perilously clutching the bit of driftwood which was the
pavement with little tentacles of high heels.
Not long afterward a situation in the M.A.N. office
began to monopolize Grace's conversations with
her most intimate friends. "You know—how—I
worry," was the prefix they had learned to recognize
when she was determined to make them share her
troubles. And Grace was worried.
A man named Graves had arrived from the coast by
order of Mr. Meiselson, who was president of the
M.A.N. Mr. Graves had distinguished himself, as
everyone knew, by being the only sober press agent at
a luncheon for a women's committee in the coast studio.
This was his reward. He came East bearing the title of
supervisor of both the New York and the Hollywood
publicity offices. Roy Williams had always understood
that this was his position; now Graves became suddenly
his superior. Everyone saw how it would go. The
M.A.N. was never satisfied merely to fire; it liked to
prepare its victims for firing. First Roy Williams had
been denuded of his title; by spring his private office
had been taken away from him and turned over to
Graves. While he was still deciding whether, for the
sake of prestige, it would not be best to resign, his
duties were being snatched from him one by one; soon
his very typewriter itself would vanish, and finally his
salary.
Small whirlpools of disquiet, expansions of the central
whirlpool, swirled about each of the desks in the outer
room. Each wondered who would be sucked in and who
would be left. Grace had been favored so much by
Roy Williams that she feared she would be counted
among his retainers, and it is well known what
happens to the friends of the old régime when the new
assumes power. She tried hard to maintain her neutrality,
being docile and sympathetic with Roy Williams;
pliant, serious, and intelligent with Mr. Graves.
Her attitude seemed to work. Graves did not like
Mr. Colton, who handled the daily newspapers and
fan magazines. When it came time to herald the arrival
of a newly risen star he ignored Colton, to whom the
job properly belonged, detached Roger Darray from the
press books and Grace from her women's features, and
assigned them both to Nola Winter.
Nola Winter was a fledgling star, still warm from
the incubator. The Broadway opening of her latest
picture and her rumored engagement to a famous movie
actor had given the M.A.N. sufficient warrant to send
her on her first trip East. She was traveling in style,
chaperoned, groomed, and stateroomed, to be housed at
the Ritz, to be wined and dined and properly introduced
to the fan writers, i.e., the public. Mr. Graves
himself had caught an earlier train to meet the Twentieth
Century and ride down with her. It was the first
important effort that had been required of him in New
York—a trial of himself as well as of Grace and Roger
Darray.
With his last-minute instructions still buzzing in their
ears, Grace and Roger walked over to Grand Central.
The pavements were caked with summer heat. Underneath
a topcoat of somnolence, the air burned with
a peculiar, needlelike brilliance. Ordinarily they would
have been placid; little could go wrong in a routine
arrangement like this. The New York public,
represented by the city editors, was as anxious to hear
from a pretty new movie actress who might be
engaged to Adam Jennifer as Nola Winter was to be
heard from. They could be almost certain of making the
afternoon papers—with pictures—and all one needed
to attract a joyful greeting crowd in a station was a
group of cameras. However, even the countenance of
Roger, a blank and solemn individual, reflected the
tremors of excitement with which Mr. Graves had
infected them.
"I hope he doesn't—expect us to meet her waving
aloft the keys of the city, the way they do in
California," said Grace nervously.
Roger attempted a polite answer which trailed off
into murmurs. He kept a slight space between them,
while at crossings he gave a start, touched her elbow
with his hand, then hastily released it. Grace could
barely repress a smirk, thinking of how afraid of her
and embarrassed with her Roger Darray always was.
She had once tried to attach him, just before his
marriage—not very urgently, to be sure, but so as to keep
her hand in—and he had never forgotten how nearly,
according to Grace, he had "fallen" for her. He always
gave her the impression of restraining himself from
"falling" even now, a fact which added to her
complacent amusement.
They found one cub reporter lounging at the gate
with his press card nonchalantly stuck in the band of
his hat. More appeared within the interval—all they
hoped for: a couple of newspapermen in the twisted
soft hats that seem best to conform to the reportorial
head; a girl whom Grace knew, wearing spectacles and
carrying a book into which, detaching herself from
the proceedings, she at once plunged; photographers, a
raft of them, bristling with the legs of cameras, some
with their caps reversed so that the visors slouched on
the napes of their necks. Grace saw with satisfaction
that, apart from the groups of welcoming friends who
stared at them curiously, growing numbers of people
paused in their business and, as if under a spell, without
reason or real desire of their own, moved closer and
closer to the cameras, stopping now and then, turning
away, then moving closer and standing, after the
manner of their kind, with mouths slightly agape in an
attitude of unalterably patient, of mesmerized attention.
As the train came in the stragglers pressed forward
upon the flanks of the newspaper party; the latter
crushed against, then passed, the gate, while a few
station employees thrust out their arms to bar the crowd.
In spite of themselves, other people's welcoming friends
and the inquisitive bystanders merged, formed a solid,
sweating phalanx around the gate. An impressive
greeting to Nola Winter!
The platform was all at once black with scurrying
figures, porters, trucks of baggage.
Gradually a few spaces of gray stone floor were left
visible between feet. The spaces cleared. They widened.
They expanded.
"Y'know what stateroom this baby is in?" demanded
one of the photographers.
Grace asked Roger. Mr. Graves had neglected to give
them the numbers of the car and the stateroom.
"Oh, she'll be along soon. Sure. Sure. Pretty soon,"
said Roger.
The length of the platform stretched forth longer
and longer, duller and duller, barer and barer. It was
dark, even damp, but with a density, a monotony
of heat which was unendurable. Far at the other end
antlike creatures were still hastening through the gate.
The reporters waited in boredom. The newspaper
girl, with some aid from the photographers, climbed
upon a baggage truck, fanned herself, and swung her
legs. "Are you sure she's on this train?" she said
suspiciously.
Grace and Roger consulted.
"Perhaps she's missed it or something," said Grace.
"She'd have wired Graves," said Roger. "No. She
must be on it. Probably just fixing up—just fixing up."
One of the sections backed off, backed forward.
Grace suggested: "Don't you think—it would be
wise—to go through the cars?"
Roger's face was grave. "He must know we're waiting,"
he said. "He did say Grand Central, didn't he?
Might have been a mistake there."
They stood looking at each other, Grace with
enlarged, troubled eyes, Roger stiff and pale. The
platform was wholly empty now. An occasional employee
passed, was questioned, shook his head and went away.
They had been waiting nearly an hour. Each of the
reporters had gone off to telephone and had disappeared.
The photographers gave it up, too, and left one by one,
gathering up their cameras and mumbling indifferent
curses.
"We'd better go back to the office," said Grace finally.
They returned slowly down the endless length of the
platform, still gluing their eyes to the train. A sound
of movement caused them to turn their heads. Down the
steps of a car close to where they had waited so long,
a short man in a neat gray suit was ushering two ladies.
It was Mr. Graves.
They halted transfixed. "What in the hell!" said
Roger very quietly. They exchanged a quick glance
and, bracing themselves, hurried back along the
platform. Nola Winter and her mother stood withdrawn,
with delicately sniffing nostrils, affecting a self-absorption
which did not quite come off, observing in side-long
looks, while Mr. Graves received his press agents.
"Where were you?" he addressed Roger.
"Right here," said Roger rigidly.
"You were right here!" repeated Mr. Graves in a
strangled voice. He was silent for a few moments,
during which he glared at Roger. "Miss Winter and her
mother and I," he said, "have been waiting for you
fully an hour."
"Where?" said Roger reasonably.
"Where? Where?" burst forth Mr. Graves. "Why, in
Miss Winter's stateroom, of course!"
A flash lighted Roger's pale blue eyes; he opened his
mouth. Next instant his face was inscrutable.
"We were waiting on the platform with reporters
and photographers," he said quietly.
"Why the —— didn't you bring them to the stateroom,
then? Where d'y' think Miss Winter would
receive them?"
"On the platform," said Roger calmly. "Photographers
can't set up their cameras in staterooms. And,"
he added, as an afterthought, "you didn't tell us the
number of the car."
"Why'n't you look for it, then? Why'n't you find it?"
Roger made no reply.
A colored maid hovered over the car steps, stacking
hand luggage.
"You can go back to the office," said Mr. Graves to
Roger. "I'll see you later."
Roger swung on his heel and sauntered off.
Grace was white to the lips.
"Do you—need me, Mr. Graves?" she managed to stammer.
He then took notice of her for the first time. He
reflected, allowing himself a space for recovery. Nodding
at her, he said in a voice still sharp, "Yes. You might as
well meet Miss Winter and her mother. You'll be
handling her alone now."
Miss Winter was a fragile, languid young girl under
a large hat. She bent her head slightly to Grace. Her
mother was by turns more condescending and more
plaintive. She shook Grace's hand and complained, "We
didn't expect to be received like this." Apparently
Mr. Graves had not quite mollified them.
Grace moved her deep eyes from Mr. Graves to Mrs. Winter.
"Don't you think," she began tentatively, "it
will be—better—really to have Miss Winter interviewed
at her—hotel? It will be—less wearing for her—perhaps.
I could—arrange it very shortly."
"Oh, not to-day," put in Miss Winter. "I'm fah too
ti-erd."
"The poor child is tired. There's a porter now, honey.
No, Nola must stay in bed to-day," said her mother.
"We'll have to let it go to-day," said Mr. Graves
authoritatively.
Grace accompanied them to the taxi, conferring with
Mr. Graves. Nola Winter had a luncheon with the fan
writers next day. "We'll ask the reporters, too," said
Mr. Graves. Grace agreed. At the same time she
insinuated that they would perhaps get double publicity
by keeping the reporters and the fan writers separate.
Privately, she thought Mr. Graves didn't know his
business. The reporters would write without being fed,
while fan writers required to be fed. In a case like
this, where there was the question of an engagement,
they might easily get two sets of stories. Since she
would be held responsible for the amount of publicity
they received or didn't receive, she had to take the
trouble to guide Mr. Graves's footsteps. It was decided
that Miss Winter's official arrival, for the benefit of the
press, would take place to-morrow and the luncheon for
the fan writers would be postponed a day. She arranged
with mother and daughter to call on them early next
morning, bade them pleasant good-byes.
With a great sigh of relief, she headed for the office.
Roger Darray's goose was cooked. But not hers—not
yet. She was safe.
Roger was sitting by Mr. Colton's desk, smoking
cigarettes and recounting their mishap. He had no further
need of caution. He knew he would be fired. The
whole office knew it. He called to Grace, "How'd you
come out?"
Grace approached slowly. "He told me to—handle
her alone. I'm—sorry, Roger." She fixed her huge,
distressed eyes upon him. She was sorry, very. The loss of
a job—especially through no fault of one's own—was
a misery completely comprehensible to her. It was a
danger which they all shared; her turn might come
next.
"I'm—sorry," she said again unhappily. But what
could she do?
"It's all right—all right. I guess I'm out," said Roger,
without malice.
Colton, who suspected that he also would soon be
out, made a helpless grimace and shrugged. "The —— ——!"
he remarked. "So he thought Nola Winter ought to
receive reporters and photographers in her stateroom!
That's what you gotta take off these bastards who come
up from office boys. A hell of a lot they know about
this game!"
"What are—your plans, Roger?" asked Grace low.
"Oh, I'll get along. Yes. Yes. I'll get something."
For several minutes they discussed Roger's prospects,
jobs they had heard of, openings there might be.
Then Grace returned to her desk and picked up her
telephone—it is one of the characteristics of press agents
that they are never without a series of phone calls to
make. She could not afford to waste any more time on
condolences. The Three Cheers Club met at one o'clock
and several of her personal plans revolved around it.
Like others who belonged to it, Grace was wont to
excuse herself for attending the weekly luncheons of
the Three Cheers Club on the ground that it was good
business. One made contacts there. One exchanged the
gossip of the day. The club ate in a private dining room
at a Park Avenue hotel. This noon, as Grace walked
into the small antechamber where the members were
gathering, her face was strained with resolution. The
girl she searched for stood in a corner, a large bouncing
girl, visible and audible. Grace marched up to her.
"How are you, Madge?" she said, widening her eyes
and spacing her words with an acute gentleness. "I
hear—you had—quite a discussion—about me at your house
one night."
The buxom girl stepped back. "Why, no!" she said.
"Why, Grace, I hope you don't think I'd say anything
unkind about you or let anyone in my house say a
word against you."
Grace looked at her with a sweet, unbelieving smile.
"Why, no, Grace," she repeated in alarm under that
smile. "I don't know what you heard but I give you my
word all that happened was—we were discussing a lot
of things and someone remarked wasn't it a coincidence
that Grace Kline's friend had the same name as the
man who used to be married to a college classmate,
Edith Woolever, in St. Louis. Honestly that's every
word that was said."
Wearing the same sweet smile and continuing to fix
Madge with her eyes, Grace replied, "Then perhaps it
might—interest you to know—that he not only used to
be married to Edith Woolever, but still is." She swept
past.
An "oh" dropped from Madge's lips and she babbled
after Grace scared phrases at random: "... think the
world and all of you ... wouldn't want you to think
otherwise."
Grace betook herself to the shelter of one of her
friends who had witnessed the encounter. Her skin was
white but under it the blood burned in her cheeks. She
removed a glove and tried to soothe them with chilly
hands.
"I think I've stopped her," she said. She continued
conversationally, halting now and then for composure.
"I've discovered a swell method, Jeannette, of dealing
with people who talk about you. You just walk up to
them very sweet and ruthless and naïve and ask them
did they really say that? It frightens them to death."
Her friend, a little woman like a little bird, teetering
on very tiny feet and very high heels, patted her arm
with a sympathy that was none the less for being highly
spiced with curiosity. She herself was a tactful, orderly
little soul, a good manager, but she was very broadminded,
as she often told people, and regarded Grace
with an admiring and interested wonder. "I wouldn't
have told you if I'd known it would upset you so," she
said in real concern.
"Oh, it doesn't upset me any more," said Grace.
"I'm getting hardened."
After a moment she remembered what else had
brought her to the club.
"You know Mrs. Whitten, don't you?" she said, now
quite alert. "Introduce me, will you? I'd like to sit next
to her—if it can be arranged."
"Of course, dear. Why? Have you anything in mind
for her? I didn't know you were writing."
"Oh, it's—just an idea," said Grace vaguely. Her
eyes wandered afresh over the room, choosing friends,
recording herself again on the minds of those she knew,
and permitting them to record themselves on her mind;
seeing who was present and who was not.
The girls (not women, but distinctly girls) disposed
themselves at three long tables arranged in the
form of an ell. Originally the Three Cheers Club had
unfurled its banner with a provision that members be
self-supporting and a dedication of encouragement to
"women of all professions." But it had become
increasingly difficult to judge the exact extent of their
self-support and, though there might have been members
of other professions, they went unnoticed. Nearly all
these women (so distinctly girls) acted, wrote, drew,
sang, clutched the skirts of the various arts in varying
capacities and with varying success and took much
credit to themselves for so doing.
Grace usually sat by Diana Reece in her own coterie
that formed one of the groups within the group.
To-day she found herself in a somewhat different
atmosphere between Mrs. Whitten and Jeannette Croak,
looking attentively across the table at a woman who bore
well the dignity of black crêpe de chine and pearl
earrings. She was Rachel Dorf, the one who got two
thousand dollars a short story. And how well she knew
it, thought Grace, with a certain detachment in
consequence of her own slight acquaintance in this circle.
The two thousand dollars was apparent in every costly
fold of silk, in the full, massaged texture of her
authoritative face, in the commanding movements of her thick,
white hands. She and Mrs. Whitten were discussing
short-story prices. Grace listened with a perfect
demeanor, a blend between that of a novice hearkening
to elders and that of a personage incognito, secure in
his own secret status. The glow shed by her skin and
eyes, like the soft, swooning light shed by the moon, the
delicate synthesis of her clothes drew involuntary
glances from Mrs. Dorf and Mrs. Whitten. Each had
noticed her in the past and remembered her and would
remember her, wondering why. When she spoke each
looked at her, following the motions of her long, tender
lips and her widening eyes, following each word dropped
after her curious pauses, as if these might furnish the
clue to that glowing mystery which her eyes and her
skin had the power to suggest. Mrs. Dorf was the first
to turn her glances away, chafing under the spell. When
Grace spoke she would attempt instinctively to interrupt,
only to hear the low, penetrating contralto superimpose
itself on her voice without effort, continue, and
finish the sentence which Grace had begun.
Mrs. Whitten, who was a small, dowdy person dressed
in brown, with generous brown eyes, frankly allowed
herself to be engrossed by Grace. It gave her pleasure to
watch Grace. She answered her warmly, assuring her
that it would be a good idea to do a story about the
movie star, Carolyn Hale.
"I thought," said Grace, "since she had made—such
a hit in comedy, it might be interesting to get her to
talk on the feminine sense of humor."
"N-no," said Mrs. Whitten thoughtfully. "That's a
little too—too—intellectual, I believe, for our readers.
Something more personal is what they would like—for
instance, Love: 'What I Think of Love.' Or perhaps,
'Why I Have Never Married,' if you can get her to
sign it."
Grace looked at Mrs. Whitten with a smile. "Isn't
that—a little obvious?" she hinted. "After all——"
"Yes. After all, everyone knows why she hasn't married.
She finds it more profitable the other way," finished
Mrs. Whitten, sharing Grace's amusement. "But
an article on Love, if you can get her to sign it, would
go, I think. Of course, I haven't the final say."
"Oh, I can get her to sign it," said Grace, and
sniggered within herself. She had her own opinion of what
Carolyn Hale thought of Love. Becoming serious, she
said intently, "Then—if I get it written—shall I bring
it in to you?"
"Yes, indeed. It's a good idea."
The luncheon was rapidly climbing to its predestined
heights. The president rapped for order; the bubbles of
chatter evaporated and the real business of the session
began. She started to announce the announcements.
Grace was sure that this president, a matronly girl, who
conducted an Advice to the Lovelorn column, could
hardly wait to breathe her touching sentiments, with a
little comical twist at the end, anent the arrivals of
new babies to club members. Perhaps she even practised
before a glass so as to obtain the exact cloying simper
with which these sentiments emerged from her lips. At
this point, Anita, who had once been present at a
luncheon, had caused a hushed commotion of disapproval
by shifting, in her agony, tapping her plate,
shuffling her feet, overturning her water glass, and
muttering comments to Grace. Anita was far too impatient.
As for Grace, she sat in ladylike calm, as others did
about the tables, only permitting herself a small smile
when she caught Dee's eye.
"And, girls, I have a great surprise for you. Mary
Covill. Can you guess? Yes, girls, she's been
married for two months, and the lucky man's name you
will all like to know is Howard Higgins, in the
advertising business. So now Mary can add the Lucy Stone
League to her list of clubs."
Laughter and applause and a general turning of heads
toward where Mary Covill sat, somewhat flushed but
triumphant.
Grace noticed that Mrs. Dorf and Mrs. Whitten and
Jeannette were all applauding quite seriously. Dee sent
her an ironic wink across tables. But Dee was patting
her hands too. She made one or two perfunctory claps.
The president had not yet done. She took another
sheet of paper from her table. She grew sober.
"Now girls," she said, "before I introduce the guests
of honor, who to-day are Mr. and Mrs. Reuben Barnes,
the big-game hunters, of whom you have all heard
[applause], I am sure you will all be interested to know
what your co-members have been accomplishing."
She cleared her throat. She said, "I don't want to
boast, girls, but I thought you'd all be pleased to know
that your president has at last entered—oh, very timidly,
you may be sure—the Halls of the Bards. Your president
has had a poem accepted by Home Life!" (Applause).
She called prettily through the applause, "Yes, and if
you don't like it, you have only the editor of Home
Life to blame. He assures me it's fine!"
After the excitement had bubbled down there followed
a list of stories sold, sketches placed, designs
ordered, jobs changed. The president sat down,
releasing a swarm of chatter.
Immediately she bounced up again. She raised one
hand for silence. "There has just come to my hand," she
said impressively, "a belated announcement which I am
sure you will want to have repeated at once. Girls,
Bessie Firestone has—just—sold—her first short
story—to True Stories!"
The guests of honor had been brought by their press
agent. Grace was among the first to escape. Meeting
Dee in the anteroom, she agreed that the club was
growing "more terrible by the minute," and listened to
a collection of fresh gossip, while her eyes followed the
people she wished to speak with presently. They
arranged to sit together at the next luncheon.
Afterward she taxied across town to the Algonquin
and, making her way through the patronizing groups
in the lobby, she reconnoitered over the ropes of the
small dining room. It was easy to pick out Carolyn Hale
from among all the sleekly hatted women. For the sake
of her public, which was accustomed to see her curls
unbound in the dramatic sequences, Carolyn Hale had
not yet dared to cut her hair. It was really golden and
really heavy. Great braided loops of it weighted her
head so much that she was always removing her hat.
So lovely a girl on the screen, so frail and wistful, she
looked extraordinarily matter-of-fact in real life. The
Publicity Department stressed the point that she made
her own clothes. After seeing them, Grace thought
this likely but saw no reason for pride. She had been in
attendance on Carolyn for several weeks, arranging
appointments for her with the fan writers, taking Carolyn
to teas and luncheons, and ingratiating herself with
Carolyn in many ways. They now called each other by
their first names.
Carolyn Hale was lunching with her "girl friend,"
another movie actress, a study in ebony, sepia, and
scarlet beside Carolyn's fairness. Pushing a chair out for
Grace, she continued to regale them with an account of
an afternoon spent with L. L. Farissey. It seemed that
he had swept her from auctions of antiques to auctions
of pictures to auctions of manuscripts, she "standing
on my feet and perishing from my corns—you can
imagine. And that damned old furniture, you ought to see
it. What anybody wants to buy the stuff for! I just
touched a table and I give you my word it jumped
apart! And those pictures! They're enough to give
anyone the willies! And here I had to get blue in the face
admiring all that junk. When I got home I swear my
mouth was sore from making ohs.
"And I was out all night," she wailed, "and I had to
shop all morning—and now I have to go see L. L. again.
I bet he drags me to more junk shops this afternoon. Oh,
my Gawd! Girls, come on along with me. I can't see
that big bozo alone again; last night was enough."
Stepping from the cloistered dimness of the Algonquin,
they straightway entered the luxuriant dimness of
Carolyn Hale's limousine, while she wailed comically
and did imitations of L. L. She had a strange voice to
come from a creature so heavenly on the screen—thin,
flat, nasal. It made one want to laugh in her face at
its incongruity.
The moment did not seem propitious to speak of
Love, but Grace managed to ask if Carolyn would sign
an article for a woman's magazine.
"Sure, I'll sign anything you say," declared Carolyn.
"That would be swell. Only just don't mention names.
I gotta think of my Goddamn public."
Her friend, Lily, inquired with interest what the
article would be about.
"It's to be called, 'What I Think of Love,'" said
Grace hesitantly. But neither appeared to notice any
untoward significance.
Carolyn nodded. "That'll be fine," she said. "The
fans will eat that up."
And, "I wish my press agent would put something like
that over for me," remarked Lily. "I sometimes wonder
if he's any good. I notice you're getting so much for
Carolyn."
"Oh, yes, Grace is swell," said Carolyn generously.
Lily was a free lance who earned a great deal and
no doubt paid well for publicity services. But Grace
thought it best to keep silent and let Lily make her
own comparisons.
In a great pink and gilt room in a great pink and
gilt hotel they found the great man, L. L. Farissey. He
was an automobile magnate who had got into so many
front-page scrapes that it was impossible not to have
heard of him. He was assisting Carolyn Hale to
maintain her position at that special moment in her career.
Fat and tousled, he sat in a suit of fiercely striped
pajamas in a mild pink armchair, looking ill-tempered
and eating a meal of sauerkraut, frankfurters, olives,
cheese, and tomatoes. The three girls stood astounded at
this meal. Raising small bloodshot eyes, the great man
glanced at them and grunted. He knew Lily and
disregarded her. Being introduced to Grace, he grunted
and disregarded her also. He muttered to Carolyn Hale
in a surly voice, "Havin' my breakfast. Want some?"
"Oh, L. L. I've just had an enormous lunch," pleaded
Carolyn.
He grunted. His silence became stony.
Lily and Grace took chairs by the door and remained
quiet, quiet as little mice, not daring to look at each
other and trying not to look at Carolyn Hale. She had
perched herself on the arm of the great man's chair.
Whenever she caught their glances she opened her
mouth and gawped without sound and rolled her eyes
over the great man's shoulder. For her pains with him,
she received a series of grunts.
Finally, leaning her face close to his, she said meekly,
"L. L., could Carolyn have one of these lovely little
teeny-weeny olives? Just one little teeny-weeny olive?"
"Have 'em all!" mumbled the great man magnificently.
He took a plate and piled it high with olives,
sauerkraut, tomatoes. "Bet' have some cheese—" "Well
then, I will have a little, teeny-weeny piece. It looks so
good." He added a hunk of cheese. Over his shoulder
Carolyn put her hand to her heart and made a huge
gawp with her mouth and rolled her eyes in extreme
despair. She began to pick at the food, now and then
glancing at the two girls and going through the motions
of inaudible signs. The great man's frown seemed to be
moderating. Carolyn, peering around at him, signaled
such an enormous silent gawp of relief behind him that
the two girls thought she would fall backward off the
chair.
She leaned her face closer to his. "L. L.," she coaxed,
"couldn't we go to see that lovely picture again this
afternoon? You know, the beautiful, beautiful one that
Carolyn liked so much, the one with the woman on
horseback and all the lovely dogs?"
"Hm. Worst one of the whole collection!" grumbled
the great man. But his face had relaxed into some
semblance of pleasure.
"Might take a look in the Bitterman Galleries," he
murmured, as if to himself.
Behind his bent head Carolyn raised her hands and
twirled her fingers in the air and let her chin fall and
her mouth droop to resemble the aspect of a half-wit.
The two girls simultaneously took out their handkerchiefs,
patted their noses, and hid their giggles.
Carolyn winked and nodded at them and pointed to
the door. They understood. They rose and said
farewells which the great man did not acknowledge.
Out in the lobby Grace at once found her way to a
telephone booth. She had been on the trail of Susanna
Beddes all morning. It was most important that Susanna
Beddes should be notified of the lunch for Nola Winter
and should promise to attend. She was a personage. She
wrote a widely syndicated motion-picture column. Press
agents might mimic Susanna Beddes' coy habit of speaking
of herself in the third person ("Susanna is feeling
thus and so"—"Susanna is doing this and that"—"Susanna
is very busy just now") but in her presence
they trembled. At least, Susanna did everything in her
power to cause them to tremble. Grace finally traced
Susanna to her home.
"Oh, Susanna has such a headache to-day," she
moaned over the telephone. "Don't speak to Susanna
about business! She's desperate."
A lengthy conversation followed, soothing, apologetic,
consoling on Grace's part, bored and reluctant on
Susanna's. Susanna really could not think. Susanna really
did not know what engagements she had. Susanna did
not care about these group interviews. She preferred
tête-à-têtes.
"Oh, I'm certain—Miss Winter would be delighted
to have you take lunch with her," Grace assured her. "I
was—just about to ask you. But we—would like you
to be present at the formal reception too."
Susanna said that she would see.
"Shall I—call you at the office then—to-morrow?"
Susanna said that she might do so.
Grace had spent almost half an hour in the stifling
booth. She staggered into the pink and gilt lobby, rested
for a few minutes, inhaled a few pink and gilt breaths.
She supposed it might be good policy to send Susanna
Beddes flowers—from the M.A.N.—or some such
touching recognition of her headache.
When Grace at last stepped out of the hotel she
paused, startled, she could not say why, to see the sky
so blue. A faint breeze stirred the blazing, dust-moted
air. The interiors of the serene shops along Madison
Avenue looked limpid as water to a parched throat. A
great breath melted in her lungs and gave a special
luster to her face. A trolley clattered by with open
sides. The tops of all the taxis were down; their black
upholsteries glistened between smears of dust. The
heavy sidewalks bloomed here and there unexpectedly
with the dresses of girls, yellow silks and green silks,
and rose and lavender, slimly conforming to their
bodies. Of course. It was summer, a season that she
loved, and the middle of the afternoon.
Anita's office, a free employment bureau, closed
early, so that she was always the first to return to the
apartment which she and Grace now shared. It stood
on the same street as Dee's old studio, and at this time
of the afternoon, in the lull between the exodus from
shops and offices and the re-migration to restaurants
and theaters, it greeted Anita with a soothing fragrance
of quiet. She threw herself down on the couch. The odds
and ends of gray, home-painted furniture were spotted
with lingering sunshine; one pale beam lay across the
bookcase; an orange vase shone. She was sure of
perhaps half an hour of utter peace.
Thereafter the telephone began to squeal. The early
calls were always for Grace. Then there would be a short
interval. Finally, always to Anita with the force of
surprise, the tone of Dennis Meloney's "Hul-lo,"
long-drawn and resonant, warm and vague, drifted through
the telephone.
Anita said, as always, "Is—this—you, Dennis?"
He answered reassuringly, as always, the words
resounding through his nose, "None other!"
"Sober?"
"Very!" said Dennis, with too much conviction. He
added, "I'll be right over."
As she knew from experience, this might well mean
several hours later. It was one of the phrases which
Dennis used to assert his complete spiritual willingness
behind which the uncontrollable body lagged under no
matter what goads, to his bewilderment, even to his
dismay. He had informed Anita, in one of his solemn
moments of drunken articulateness, "You'll learn this
about me—I'm a terrible liar." Anita had only been
able to smile and sigh and shake her head in resignation
that had in it a note of noblesse oblige, of staying
one's hand as with an inferior in one's power. She was
often on the point of not bearing with Dennis any
longer. If she had been alone she could have swiftly
made up her mind, but with Grace in the background
she felt almost as if she were playing before an
audience, as if she were constrained to go on with the
performance before it though hampered by its presence.
Grace, she knew, did not treat her as a poor relation
because she "had Dennis." She could almost see the
idea behind Grace's mounting intimacy. A girl who
could attach even one not wholly undesirable man for
that length of time and with that comparative regularity
could not be beyond the pale, might even be "one
of us." The old formula of contrast, a beautiful girl
selecting a colorless girl as companion and foil, is
outmoded. Two charming girls, it has been learned, are
better than one to attract men.
The telephone rang more and more insistently. Blake
called up and left a message. The entry of Grace
dispersed the last vestige of solitude.
She searched the room with a wide and tenacious gaze.
"What have you been doing?" she said, and, not waiting
for a reply, she launched into an account of her
afternoon.
"I don't believe—I'll have any more trouble with
Madge Murphy," she concluded. "I can't understand—girls
like that! Madge Murphy gets around a lot; she
knows a lot of people. I don't see how she does it. She's
so homely! She has little, wrinkled, blackish eyes, raisin
eyes. She's one of those girls who—stick—out in front
and in back and who always, by instinct, sort of, gravitate
to stripes, those heavy, long stripes, in purple and
red, you know. I suppose they think it makes them
look thin! Nothing could make her look thin—not even
a steam roller!"
This trick of Grace's of describing people by means
of the simplifications of the caricaturist always seemed
strange to Anita. How could Grace, who disapproved
of Anita's penchant for taking sides, who, though she
enjoyed gossip, was always careful to repeat it with
impartial omniscience—how could Grace, who was so
tolerant, pass such cruel judgments with her eyes and
ears? Anita had learned to be on guard against Grace's
descriptions, for when she saw the people herself, they
were apt to be so different.
"There are so many girls like that," continued Grace,
"that you—meet around. There's nothing to them that
you can put your finger on. And they take themselves
so—seriously. But they seem to get along. I suppose it's
just push," she added thoughtfully. "They simply—push
themselves in everywhere."
She went on: "Anyhow, I've discovered a grand
method of dealing with people who talk about you.
Hereafter I mean to confront them as I did Madge and
ask them straight out, but very—sweetly, you know,
did they really say that? It's like confronting a
murderer with the body of his victim. It works."
"It wouldn't work with me. I'd just answer yes," said
Anita coolly. "Besides," she added, "there's danger in
that method. It might actually keep people from talking
about you."
But Grace didn't mind. That was just Anita's way.
"We can't all be little tartars like you," she said amiably.
The deliberate rhythm of her movements as she went
about the business of making her toilette and choosing
her clothes for the evening could not be ruffled. Each
motion was so precise, followed upon every other so
perfectly, had such a smooth place in Grace's daily
ritual, that Anita could not resist following with her
eyes and even with her mind, as one follows involuntarily
the rhythm of the hymns and genuflections in a
church, the rhythm of the Perpetual Adoration before
an altar. Grace was ready to do up her hair when
Dennis appeared. She was still engaged with it when
Blake followed him.
Making her entrance through the bedroom door, she
stood poised for a moment, in a pale, ocher-colored,
georgette dress, the glamorous product at last of all
her small, attuned labors. She glanced at Dennis, who
was neither entirely drunk nor entirely sober, with a
smile of intimate and amused understanding, then
turned her eyes to Anita, as if to reassure her that
smiles for Dennis must also be smiles for her.
"How—are you?" she said gravely, with a slight, coy
lift of her brow.
"O.K.," said Dennis. Viewing her luminous harmony
with a pleasure that imprinted itself on his face, he
found nothing more to say. He retired into the silence
which was his only way of being dignified and polite.
Grace passed in front of him and took her place
on Blake's lap.
"You ought to be able—to help me out," she said,
drawing the great pools of her eyes from Dennis to
Anita, then to their final resting place on Blake's
countenance. "I have to write a woman's magazine article
about Carolyn Hale called, 'What I Think of Love.'"
Blake snickered. "Be sure to spell love with a capital
letter. The capitalization of love is very appropriate
for Carolyn Hale."
"Are you—punning, Blake, by any chance?"
She secured her attention entirely to him, gazing in
his face and beginning for him the motions of her
special laugh.
"Punning, Blake, is the lowest form of humor," said
Anita.
But neither Grace nor Blake appeared to hear or to
be affected. They continued the duet of their particular
amusement, while Dennis sat, silent, with a polite grin
glued to his mouth and Anita did not smile at all and
tapped a foot.
It was Grace who interrupted herself, not having lost
track of her plans.
"It's rather—important," she explained. "I'd like
to get in with Carolyn. If I can put this over it'll be
quite a good stunt for her. It might—give me a start
with the magazines. And, on the strength of it, I
might—be able to sell Carolyn the idea of making Blake's
play into a movie."
She looked questioningly at Blake. Grace was always
tactful about injecting herself into Blake's affairs, but
Anita couldn't help wondering how much of her interest
was a sincere wish to help Blake and how much
was a desire to show him that she was no mere hanger-on
of his new-found importance, that she and her
connections were valuable to him.
He replied by a pleased lift of his brows.
Grace addressed Dennis: "You ought to have some
ideas for me, Dennis. You're a press agent yourself."
"I got out a story like that for a fan magazine,"
offered Dennis after a deep silence. "It's the same old
hokum. But it might give you an idea. I could look
it up for you."
"That's what they want, the same old hokum," said
Blake.
And, "That sounds perfect," declared Grace. "I don't
suppose—you care if I—use—some of it."
"O.K.," said Dennis, shrugging.
Grace paused. "You wouldn't like—to come back
here after dinner and help me—plan it?" She let each
word drop slowly from the edges of her mouth, sweetened
with a tentative smile, and glanced at Anita.
"No," said Anita crisply, "we wouldn't like. Are we
going to dinner or aren't we? I'm starved."
Dennis was about to pick up his hat when Grace
asked, "Would you—mind—if I ate with you? Blake
has to go to dinner with some man."
"Oh, all right, come along. We're meeting some
friends of Dennis's later."
"I have to leave you right after dinner," stated
Grace.
It was always like that, Anita thought. Not that she
objected to Grace's accompanying them when nothing
better turned up—Grace often invited her along, made
many kind attempts to include the social life of Anita,
with Dennis, in the convolutions of her own. But
Anita waited to be asked, while Grace, though it was
she who had established the rule that neither should
interfere with the other's engagements—Grace took it
for granted that she was welcome, unless told otherwise.
Anita repeated to herself that she had no right
to resent trifles, considering all Grace had done for
her.
She looked from her own work-day silk to Grace's
clothes of leisure. "I suppose I ought to get dressed."
"No," she said suddenly, "I shan't bother." She walked
into the bedroom to smooth her hair. She couldn't and
wouldn't compete. Dennis ought to know by now that
she was no beauty alongside of Grace. Besides, what was
there to compete for anyhow?
Grace, following on her heels, offered, "You can wear
my blue dress."
"Thanks. No."
Grace would not give advice, but she did think Anita
was careless. "You ought to get—yourself—some more
things," she said, with meaning. "Clothes—are an
investment, Anita."
"An investment in what?"
"Well, you needn't be so scornful. Things like that—help."
At two o'clock next morning Anita was riding
home alone from Two Hundred and Twentieth Street.
Dark houses, like regimented soldiers, stood up straight,
then fell before the onslaught of the train. Around
her all the drowsy couples were sagging toward each
other; heads nodded lower and lower; heads jerked up
to a moment of consciousness at each stoppage of the
train. She should be angry to be taking this weary
subway ride alone at night, yet watching them—watching
the even houses, the drowsy couples, the nodding heads—she
was flooded with the vast relief of her solitary
aliveness; she only felt relief rising like a flag of triumph
within her.
She held herself stiller in her seat, so that no
movement of hers should flaunt to these people her secret
victory. In that subway train she felt her eyes and her
eyes only to be alert with a strange alertness, darting
from her moveless self, drawing these people into her
consciousness, while she herself was alone and apart,
content to be so, unreachable by them, unreachable by
all, unreachable (and heaven be praised therefore)
unreachable even by Dennis. Oh, this was the essence of
all victories, the smart of all defeats—there within the
grasp of all, to be discovered by all, and ignored by all
the drowsy eyes, the nodding heads, the somber houses.
She tightened her lips; she would have bit them, feeling
as if at any moment a smile would give the concrete
signal of the elation soaring in her veins.
All was dark in the city. Broadway lay wan and
disordered. The Palace was dark, and the burlesque house
was dark. Loungers in the stuffy side streets west of
Sixth, about the pallid hotels and down-at-heels houses,
made little lights with sudden cigarettes.
Running up the stairs, she was surprised to hear the
taps of the typewriter.
"My Gawd!" said Grace, confronting her. "I was
about to send the police for you!"
She pointed to the typewritten sheets. "Blake had to
work, so I thought I might as well begin that story."
She looked at Anita sharply, "What's got you so
excited? Where have you been anyhow?"
Anita sank into a chair. It had been one of those
evenings which seem to traverse many separate periods
of time; in moments of awakening, during the transitions,
one finds them, much to one's surprise, to be
still continuing. This sort of evening is better relished
in retrospect, when the memory with its own inarticulate
art is found to have selected and retained only the
most diverting incidents. Anita was overcome with
accumulated laughter.
They had been at one time in a Chinese restaurant,
and there was a sign, guardian of the place's respectability,
and it said, "Ladies are requested to dance solely
with their own escorts." They had sat at another time
in a clandestine German beer garden through whose
musty lattices oozed a gentle backyard breeze, and Dennis
spoke of the beer picnics of his childhood, how cool
had been the first breath of the green branches for
which the children waited in the sweating cars, and
Mac—this was Dennis's friend—spoke of God and the
Devil, and Anita announced, a little drunken with
Mac's scared admiration, her lack of concern with either,
and Frances—this was Mac's girl—said that she didn't
know—there must be something when one considered
Nature and she said that she loved flowers.
"So then we went back to Two Hundred and
Twentieth Street, where there was a tableful of liquor,"
said Anita. "And there was a girl and a man on the
couch. But Frances took me aside and told me it was
all right because the girl was a virgin and the man was
a respectable married man and he had eight children.
So, at length, the virgin and the married man departed
and Dennis took a cold bath and went to sleep and
snored and Mac took off his shoes and the radio played,
'My Wild Irish Rose, the sweetest flower that grows,'
and Mac and Frances had a long argument about a
friend of hers who was trying to get her father into an
old folks' home, and Mac said, 'So that's the kind of a
girl you are! You and your girl friend, you'd take an
old man away from his kiddies and stow him in some
damned old folks' home. If I was a daddy,' he said, 'I'd
want to stay right with my kiddies!'
"So then I decided to go home. But Mac wouldn't
hear of it because he explained Dennis was out and
he was out and I couldn't ride home alone in the
subway—'with all those damned mashers around, moving
up close to the girls in the trains late at night.' He knew,
he said, he'd seen 'em! He said I was to stay, and
Frances said I could stay. She said it wasn't every girl
she asked to stay; she said once she had had two girls
there who, when asked to stay, objected and said, 'Oh,
but we're not like Frances!' So she turned them out.
But I could stay because she said she could see I wasn't
'that kind of a girl.' By that time I was a little mixed
on the subject myself.
"Anyhow, I decided to go. So Dennis woke up and
looked at me a long time and shook his head and said,
'You're too idealistic.' So I wanted to know why. So
then he said, 'A-aah, yah punkie!' in his nice street-urchin
way. 'You're too damn analytical!' Then he told
me I had no abandon and I was the dumbest jane he'd
ever run across—in fact, I was his dumbest woman.
Upon which home truths I sallied forth."
"In Two Hundred and Twentieth Street!" exclaimed
Grace. "It's improbable. Look—couldn't we all go up
there some night—Blake too—and get a look at them?"
"Well, I'm not exactly running excursions up there,"
Anita pointed out.
Grace sniggered. "They sound too good to miss. Blake
would love them. We must arrange it."
She paused. During a period of silence an expression
adjusted itself on her face which warned Anita. She
was prepared for the slow fixing of Grace's eyes that
slowly turned to her face, for the halting phrases. She
might have known Grace had stayed up for a purpose.
"I've had—an exciting time myself," said Grace.
Anita folded her hands. She listened.
"Blake nearly had a fight over me," Grace continued,
and stopped to see the effect. If she was disappointed
it did not show in the subtle enjoyment about
her mouth, nor did it halt the penetrating spaced flow
of her confidences. Blake had had to see someone at a
theater owned by Trout, a producer whose current
musical comedy he had "doctored." "And never
thinking," went on Grace, "I was about to—look in back
stage. I've been there so many times with Blake. The
doorkeeper knows me and was going to—pass me. Then
Fred walked up. You know—he's connected with Trout
now. I have always told Blake that Fred made a point
of being particularly nasty to me but he laid it to my
imagination. Well—to-night—he saw for himself. Fred
said, 'Don't pass this girl; we can't have everybody's
sweeties hanging around.'"
She paused and swallowed nervously. Anita noticed
how her face had become strained, her cheeks lengthened,
under the narrative. These concrete signs of emotion
never failed to exact sympathy from her, no
matter how she might try to evade, to look everywhere,
to prevent the focusing of her attention.
"I simply stood," went on Grace. Anita could imagine
how she had stood, the tragic hugeness of her eyes.
"You know—it's dark there—at the stage door.
Neither of us saw Blake. He hissed! He actually did.
He drew his face close up to Fred and he said, 'As
long as I have any connection with this show, Grace
can go in and out here as she damn well pleases, any
time. D'ye hear that?' He was so white. I could see he
was ready—to smash his fist into Fred's face. But Fred
drew back. As he naturally would. 'Oh, I didn't know
Grace was with you,' he said. Very honeyed. Scared, too.
I dare say he and Blake will not do so much—business
together in future."
Anita frowned, wondering what comment she could
adequately make. But Grace spared her the necessity.
"I really didn't mind so much," she concluded,
"after it was over. It sort of opened things up—gave
us a chance to talk. Things have been sliding along
so..." She looked to Anita expectantly.
"The divorce?"
"Well—that appears to be still in the distant future,"
said Grace with reserve.
She paused. But as Anita asked no further questions
she at length amended: "It's been—intimated, and I
understand it was hinted in reply very coolly that—there
might not be so much difficulty about that as he
thought. But this was quite a while ago. Blake says
she's stopped writing."
Anita spoke suddenly what had been on her mind
for a long time: "Don't you think, if Blake told her
about you, she'd give the divorce and make an end of
it? After all, she seems to be quite decent."
To her surprise, Grace replied with feeling, "Yes. And
it's hard on her, too. But Blake seems to be—determined
to keep me out of it. He says because of his family—in
case—in the future... And then—he thinks it
would hurt her and there might be a mess. I told him to
tell her. If it's for my sake—I don't care about a mess.
And if I were she, no matter what it was, I'd rather
know. Wouldn't you, instead of fighting with shadows?
But—he—has his own ideas."
She rose. "Anyhow," she said, shrugging, "nothing
can be arranged for the present. She's sick; something
wrong with her heart."
Grace began to loosen her hair. Looking at Anita,
who sat still where she had been left, she made a slow
addition, as if, now that she had taken advantage of a
moment so conducive to confidences, she might as well
take the fullest advantage and divest herself of the rest
of the truth. "I have no—assurance that he'll marry
me, you know," she said softly. "He's never actually
said so."
She continued with long, calm strokes to brush her
hair that vibrated in little electric spasms of light down
its fine spread to her shoulders, so that her face, white,
hardened, with the chin raised, seemed to be the face
of a stone lady surrounded by the strange, quivering life
of the hair. She made a tiny movement of her head and
shoulders. "That doesn't bother me," she said hardily.
"I'm just as likely to—change my mind, too." She
almost smiled at her reflection in the glass, or rather
pressed her lips together to form an expression that was
firm, a little secretive, and a little malicious. "I'm just
as much of a person as Blake—just as free to do as I
please."
She brushed for a few moments, absorbed in thought.
Then, with a sigh, she relaxed into a full shrug. "After
all, one can't blame him," she said, indulgent, condoning.
"He doesn't want to get involved again—in all
that—domesticity." She scanned Anita's face. "I suppose it's
that way with Dennis, too," she remarked.
But Anita swiftly stood up. "Don't include me!" she
cried. With her hands, she made motions of shoving
away, palms toward Grace, head turned sideways.
That winter Diana Reece left her husband. She
had adopted Letty as bosom friend and often came to
Letty's house, smothered in mink, her dark, hot eyes
flashing in little torrents of energy above excited cheeks.
When she opened her coat she disclosed a new lissomeness
sheathed in black satin. "I've lost ten pounds," she
announced in her rich voice. Walter liked her thin.
Walter was the man she would marry when she had
been divorced and he had been divorced. Walter also
liked her in subdued dress, and black was Diana Reece's
sole notion of a quiet color.
She always seemed to be impressed by the sacrifices
she was capable of making for love and was always
boasting of them. "The other day he was a little late in
calling me. I had a hair dresser's appointment. But I
give you my word I couldn't move a step from the
telephone. I was like chained to it until I heard his
voice!" With elated conviction her eyes darted from
one to another of the group.
Paul rose from the bridge table with the habituated
gallantry of the lady's man, to remove her coat.
She thrust forward one satined arm whose wrist was
locked in gleaming platinum. "This is what Walter gave
me for my birthday." Simultaneously, she curved an
index finger loaded with a huge green stone that stuck
out of its silver setting. "And this, too."
"A diamond wrist watch," said Grace, admiring,
though privately she felt above diamond wrist watches.
"How nice of him!"
Blake sneered a little. This sneer was lost in the
growing roundness and ruddiness of his face, and there was
a faint sense of after-dinner relaxation about his posture,
with knees far apart, as if for the stomach to rest
between. "A diamond wrist watch is Grace's idea of
heaven, isn't it, Grace? She's never got over envying
Madalynne's wrist watch, have you, Grace? Jerry won't
get over it either for a long time. He's still paying
the bill for it while Madalynne sues for breach of
promise."
Grace's soft eyes wandered, drawing in sympathy.
She said, in a special voice, at once submissive and
explanatory, which she often used after some remark of
his, "Blake thinks—men who give presents to girls are
silly. He thinks because he's never had to, there aren't
men who must. Otherwise, girls would not even look
at them. Or men like Walter who—like to give things
from sheer generosity."
"Oh, there's no one like Walter for generosity," said
Diana warmly. She turned with a new conviction to
the company. "He never comes to see me without
bringing me something. I don't know what to do with all
the candy and flowers. And bath salts! I have tons of
bath salts. All men haven't your ideas, Blake, thank the
Lord! You get away with murder." Shooting him a
look of disapproval from her hot eyes, she sailed into
the bedroom.
There was silence. Blake had paled. His mouth had
a wry twist, and when Grace spoke to him he would
not answer. She spoke again and touched his arm.
"After all," she reminded him in an undertone, "it
wasn't I who said that." He grimaced impatiently.
As soon as Dee reappeared he took his departure,
saying that he must look in at the theater. His second
play had just opened, and, in view of the fact that he
was to begin a well-earned playwright's vacation the
next day, golfing in Florida, he shook hands around the
bridge table and kissed Letty good-bye. Pointedly he
ignored Diana Reece, and would almost have passed
Grace by in his sullen mood if she had permitted it. She
followed him out. Through the half-open door were to
be heard ensuing murmurs and the final kiss of
reconciliation.
"Well!" said Diana Reece with a sigh of mock relief
when Grace reëntered. "I didn't really mean to annoy
him. But I should say, Grace, that you have him badly
trained."
"Yes, she has," agreed Letty from the bridge table.
"I'm devoted to Blake. But you should have heard the
things he said about our playing bridge. The next thing,
he said, would be for us to get a radio and move to the
suburbs and become the perfect Babbitts. But it's all
right for Blake to go down South and play golf! People
who play golf aren't Babbitts, oh, no! That goes for
you, too, Grace. You're always making fun of people
who are interested in games. Why don't you laugh at
Blake's golf?"
"I do, dearie, I do," said Grace decidedly. "It's not
I who play golf, or bridge either. When you see me
fighting over cards as you and Paul were fighting a minute
ago, then you can crow."
Her eyes and her low, tenacious voice unconsciously
concerned themselves with sucking the attention of the
others toward herself.
She said pensively and gazed about the circle: "It's
funny about Blake, isn't it? He used to—sneer at people
who—played golf and fussed with cars. He—wanted to
be free of all that—and now, he—rushes away to play
golf and even thinks—of buying a car."
And each word sank into the minds of her listeners,
impregnating them, despite themselves, even against
their wills, irresistibly with her concerns. Their thoughts
began to revolve about her chief interest, that now
became their chief interest.
"It's because he has money," declared Diana Reece.
Almost, her wide, red mouth smacked over the words,
especially over the last that so admirably suited her
taste.
Grace's shoulders began to curve, her chin to dig into
the nook thus made, and her mouth to curl with her
particular amusement. "So Anita says. She says that—so
long as he hasn't bought a cane, however, there are
still—hopes."
"I don't see what's wrong with a cane," muttered
Paul, who always carried one.
"No! You wouldn't!" said Letty, briskly scornful.
Paul remained subdued, in silence. But Harold, studying
his cards, mildly attempted to change the subject.
It was at Harold's invitation that Paul had come to
play bridge. The clandestine meetings which had given
Letty so much pleasure in the past had dwindled to this,
that Letty now called him "poor Paul," and it was
Harold who felt sorry for him. Seeing Paul look at Letty
during the evening, Harold felt as if he were watching
some lost but still-remembered part of himself, following
vicariously the course of a personal experience, as
one may perhaps do in a book, with a vivid recognition
of each symptom but no pain. He could only show his
sympathy by kindnesses that he hoped would go
unnoticed—they did not; there was banter in the crowd
about "what good friends Paul and Harold are getting
to be"—such as asking for Paul's presence at the bridge
table, because Paul was, fortunately, a very good player,
and now and then turning aside the shaft of one of
Letty's observations.
Formerly, Harold had gone out to play bridge. Letty
had jeered at the game. Since the birth of the baby,
however, bridge night once a week on the maid's evening
out had become an institution. Letty said she was tired
of spending the evening alone with Harold and if they
had people in there was nothing else to do. Only it was
difficult to find partners among their close friends. The
Lindens played, but they lived in the suburbs. Grace
and Blake contented themselves with sitting on the
couch and mocking.
To-night Paul had, at Letty's behest, spent an hour
telephoning to his club and among his acquaintances to
find a fourth. And they had finally been obliged to
commandeer a new admirer of Letty's. By profession he
was a teacher of shorthand in a high school, but a
youthful tramp journey to Africa had seemed to give
him a lien on the words "romance" and "adventure,"
which he used incessantly. He also wrote sonnets. His
given name was Leroy and, being fully sensible of his
outward characteristics, the girls called him "li'l Leroy." It
was perfect. It satisfied even Grace's keen quality of
derisive description. She got any amount of amusement
from the phrases he used—"I love to roam; I love to
wander"—with a dreamy swaying of the head and
swooning of the eyes—and from his habit of using the
word "child" when he addressed women, delicately,
tenderly, dropping it like a crystal from the heights of
Olympus to a well-loved mortal. At the same time she
took him quite seriously as an admirer of Letty's and a
man with a literary background who wrote sonnets.
It was to li'l Leroy, since the others knew it anyway,
that Grace announced she had begun a novel.
She caused the bridge game much strangled irritation
by distracting his attention to discuss some incidents of
the plot. Harold rose finally, crying that the game might
as well be broken up.
"So it might," she agreed with a snigger.
And she and li'l Leroy turned their backs on a
wrangle over eighteen cents, which Paul and Letty
claimed to have won, to engage in an analysis of the
story. It had been begun on the advice of Grace's literary
agent, who always instructed tyros to write novels first
and short stories afterward, as the latter were then apt
to sell for bigger and better prices.
"It's a novel about a girl who—wants to—belong to
herself—to be free," Grace informed li'l Leroy.
"Not autobiographical!" she emphasized, raising her
voice and turning her eyes upon the card table. "The
girl is to come from a small town. And she's not—to
write. I think I'll make her an illustrator."
She paused. Her eyes wandered from face to face,
insistent on comment.
Diana, as a professional, felt called upon to ask in a
richly derogatory voice, "How would you get the
small-town stuff? You never lived in a small town."
"Oh—that will be just—for the opening chapters.
Anita is giving me some stuff—and Blake, too. He was
brought up in a small town, you know."
"Are you putting Blake in?"
"No, indeed!" said Grace vigorously. She proclaimed:
"Blake is not—to have—any place at all in this book.
I'm making the man—a publicity agent for a movie
company. He's to be dark—and to wear glasses. I know
everyone'll look for a resemblance—but I defy anyone
to find it."
Dee, who was not much in Grace's confidence, having
considered her in the past a fool to "waste her
time on a married man," now lowered her voice in the
expression of a new alliance. She was learning for
herself. "How's the status quo?" she asked, with warm
sympathy.
"Oh." Grace drew away and shrugged. "As usual." But
she could not resist the lure of Dee's attention and
explained, after a pause, "She has heart disease."
Dee rolled her eyes to heaven. "They always develop
something! Walter's wife was undecided whether to
develop t.b. or cancer, as a matter of pride, you
understand—not that she wasn't at bottom quite ready for a
divorce herself."
"No. It's heart disease all right," said Grace coldly.
She might show a sardonic good sense about the loves of
others, but she resisted any effort to undermine the
solemnity of her own.
"Then perhaps you won't have to bother. She might die."
"Wives never die," declared Letty. "I know. Aren't
I a wife? Even if they have cancer they don't die. Look
at Ruth's boy friend's wife. She's had cancer for years
and she won't die."
"As someone says somewhere, 'They only die—in
happy marriages,'" quoted Grace. Her eyes fixed themselves
on space, taking on their mournful depths. "It's
just as well this way, I suppose," she said at length.
"I don't see that marriage is any more—happy. Less, in
fact."
"What's that you said about Ruth?" queried Dee.
"Is his wife still alive? Why, she's had cancer for at
least five years—that I remember. I've already lost my
faith in God. Don't let me lose my faith in cancer," she
implored them, rolling the morsels of words on her
tongue and lavishly rolling her heated eyes. "In spite
of what you say," she added with fervent decision, "I'm
taking no chances. Marriage is very convenient, you
have to admit. Walter has it all arranged to go to
Mexico. Millard and I are all set for Reno. And we're
to meet and marry in California."
"It ought to be a slogan for the tour companies: 'Get
divorced and see the world,'" commented Letty.
Dee appreciated the wit of this as well as anyone. She
began a racy account of how Millard and she were
rehearsing the way he was to strike her (before witnesses)
en route to Reno. "He's so afraid to hurt me." To a
question, she grew sober in the midst of her radiance,
as one might at a party at the mention of a dead
comrade.
"Twelve years," she replied gravely. "Mal's very much
upset. I'm sorry for him. But what can you do?"
And, having remembered to pay this tribute to the
dead, she went on with the opulent wit of her recital.
The men said nothing. They were a little shocked by
the conversation. Besides, it did not concern them. It
dealt with women's matters.
Grace nearly always went "out" in the evenings. All
the girls whom she admitted to equality and who
admitted her to equality went "out." It was the basis
on which attractiveness and status were judged; it was
a rigid convention, a game which one had to play in
her sphere under peril of social neglect, just as in some
circles it is necessary to play bridge for the same reason.
Thus, Anita, when she came home later than usual,
would find her curled up on the couch, horn-rimmed
spectacles outlining her enormous eyes, the lamp shining
on her book in those November twilights (so like
heads just sprinkled with iron gray) as she read intently
and chewed hard candy reflectively to the luxurious
sound of running bath water. Grace enjoyed books,
current ones by preference, since these had the additional
use of keeping her up with current literary talk. If
she were going "out" with Blake or the second-best
young man of the moment, a dinner or afternoon dress
would most often be spread out in the bedroom, as
denoting the intimacy rather than the display of the
engagement. These second-best young men formed a
slow procession that advanced in single file, as it were,
each member halting, involving Grace's spare attention
for a while, then making way for a successor.
If, however, Grace were just having a "date," the
dress would usually be an evening dress, with, beside
it, the brocaded, furred cloak that Mrs. Kline, in token
of reconciliation, had fashioned out of Grace's old
sealskin. The escorts on such nights were merely pawns in
the game of going "out"; were chosen for their utility,
the money they had, the places they could take one to,
rather than for their charm. And on such nights Grace
would stay out exceptionally late, making the most of
her chance to be escorted to the new fashionable
restaurants and dance places and night clubs. She was
not a "drinking woman." Her set did not frequent
speakeasies, except from curiosity.
At first it was a source of wonder to Anita how Grace
could find sufficient entertainment for so many nights,
but she learned that it was very simple really. Grace
had no desire to abandon herself to pleasure. She used
pleasure for her own purposes. Grace did not seek for
conviviality, or for amusement. She only sought to be
present. She liked, as a matter of business, to see all the
motion pictures that were talked of. Although she
relished the theater, she had to see plays also so as to be
able to pass her measured opinions on them. The theater
and the movies were vital matters to the people she
knew. A large part of their talk was of plays and
players, and Grace had a memory for and a store of
information about these as perfect and detailed as a boy's
memory for the showings of athletic teams.
Between routine work, avocations, and social life, it
might be considered difficult to fit in the writing of a
novel. But there is always Sunday, when one does not
have to go to the office, and when even social life
disintegrates. Grace wrote her novel on Sundays. She
planned it according to a simple mathematical formula:
twenty chapters—twenty Sundays—five months. She
applied herself to it with the astute, persistent, and
organized vigor which she carried to all her undertakings.
She had not used the depths of intelligence suggested
by her beautiful eyes, her clear, grave, deliberate diction,
she had not used her assured bearing, her wide circle of
acquaintance as well as her concrete accomplishments
(some articles on motion pictures printed in large
magazines)—she had not used all these to no purpose. They
had all helped to "plant the idea," as she said, that she
was "a young writer of promise." She was also
prominent. She was seen often at luncheon in the places
where one should be seen at luncheon, in the Algonquin
and later in Sardi's. She was seen at first nights, where
she greeted and was greeted. She believed the compliments
which important people paid her and, divesting
them of any qualifications, repeated what had been said
to her in a simplified and exaggerated form.
She had some acquaintance among publishers and
these she arranged for her agent to sound. One she
impressed sufficiently with her beauty, her tactful
certainty, and her knowledges to extract a contract and an
advance from him. It was a good idea, he agreed, to
write a novel about a girl who wanted to be "free." The
novel about girls who want to be "free" is as
hardy a perennial as the novel about newspapermen's
adventures among womankind.
Then Grace proclaimed that she was writing a book
in every quarter where she had or could get entrée. She
knew reviewers, she knew colyumnists, she knew a few
critics. She exhibited her loot among her friends.
So-and-so would run her picture, and another person had
promised to print a preliminary announcement; she had
met a critic from Cleveland who would say nice things
about it; she knew some bookshop owners who had
bound themselves to feature it in their windows. She
only hoped the "breaks" would be "right," and that
she could establish the beginning of one of those settled
and accepted reputations which, from her publicity
work, she knew to be so valuable.
On Sundays Grace would put a meaningful question
to Anita: "What are—your plans for to-day?" It implied
that Anita, according to the original pact, was to keep
out of the way as much as possible. If she could not go
out, she would sit and read in the bedroom.
Whenever Grace had a free evening, it was also
arranged that Anita should make a date and disappear
between the hours of seven and twelve. Her dates were
nearly always with Dennis. She and Dennis would go to
dinner, then to the theater, or, if the cold chanced to be
fine and clear, they would first walk up and down
Fifth Avenue.
In the Fifties this street at night has the hush and
luxury of deep carpets; the shops amble by and the
lovers amble, and the faint lights among the glassed-in
treasures seem to amble too. They stopped to gaze in
great show windows, shining and magnetically smooth as
the smooth backs of cats. They examined the titles of
rows and rows of books. They stood long before pictures.
Fifth Avenue would be growing stiller. All nevertheless
would be throbbing softly, thrumming steadily with
the steady flow of the motor cars, echoing the powerful
note that lower down and one street west pulsed so
insistently, struck so heavily, pounded hard and loud on
the ear, while roundabout new buildings bloomed like
great white roses in the sky and the lights of towers and
windows chanted their golden melody in all shades, from
amber to topaz, from pearl to copper color, and the
excitement of all was overwhelming. Oh, they understood
very well why people lived in cities, pooling their small
forces palpably so that a turbulent, ceaseless, diversified
river of force should tear them along, so that its mighty
roar should deafen them to the faintness of their
individual rhythms, so that from the resonance of its
composite power they might extract some slight vibration of
strength in their weakness.
Late at night they would return, clambering up the
musty stairs that had only one pale bulb to light them,
halting at the silent door. Before Anita could use her
key, it opened on an interior permeated with warmth
and electricity, framing Grace in the doorway, a Grace
glad to see them, tired of being alone. Or they would
find her tapping out the last words on the typewriter.
A bag of hard candies was spilled on the shabby gray
paint of the table among a clutter of sheets. The terse
light summed up her hair and her cheeks and her
plain tan jersey dress, her "office uniform,"
leather-belted and collarless. But no laconism of light could
squelch the soft glow of her hair, eyes, skin, and the
beads at her throat. She would shuffle the last sheet in
with the others and turn, stretching, satisfied. "Look.
I did eight pages to-night."
And, if she were not expecting Blake, who objected
to the smell of smoke about her, she would ask for a
cigarette and relax and give them her news. She always
had some news. "Blake asked Letty to choose my
Christmas present with him. It's his own idea. Guess
what? A diamond wrist watch!" She sniggered lengthily.
"I really didn't expect—what we said the other night
to have that effect."
Or:
"I had to buy Christmas things for Blake's child
to-day. And what a job that was, too! Still, it's not so
bad as Ruth Frick. She has to help choose—hats—for
Carl's wife."
Sometimes she would put her finger to her lip, and
after a silence they would become aware of a pounding
next door. It was the lady-next-door, of whose
profession they could not help acquiring some knowledge,
quarreling with her Jack. "He's been hammering on the
door and threatening to kill her all evening," murmured
Grace.
Between giggles and in hushed accents, they speculated
on the possibility of a murder. Grace always
followed murder trials in the papers with an absorbed
curiosity, with an open and defiant understanding of the
ways in which the skeins of a life might be so tangled
as to importune that sort of cutting. She had once told
Anita how, in the early days of her love for Blake,
wrought up to a final frenzy of harassment by her
mother's insistence, she had grabbed a kitchen knife
against her.
Then Dennis would insist that one of them read aloud
from a poetry anthology. He had a racial streak of
artistry, formless and unformulated, as all his ideas and
opinions were, and though he preferred Francis Thompson
and Clarence Mangan, he could listen tirelessly to
almost any sort of poetry. If neither Grace nor Anita
would read, he would read himself, in a stumbling
sing-song, mispronouncing or eliding half the words. But if
he came to a line or verse that struck him—Anita
noticed how often it was apt to be an admirable line—he
would raise his voice as his only way of giving unusual
expression.
This was on nights when Dennis remained actually
sober throughout. On other nights he appeared to escort
Anita to dinner a little "mellow," after his description,
became more mellow in some restaurant where he was
known and served accordingly, and could not be prevented
from finishing the evening in a speakeasy. Anita,
in order to avoid a scene in public, would be obliged
to let him see her home.
Dennis would then take up his station on the couch
and announce that he meant to spend the night. Wilting
a little under stony stares and firm commands, he would
plead with much native pathos that he felt "so
womanless" when he woke up of mornings, sick, in his hotel
room. At first Grace was on his side; she advised caution
but she was ready to put her tolerance on record. Soon,
however, she also became obdurate, because she had
learned something of the female company which Dennis
kept intermittently. Grace would have pitied Anita if
Dennis had been swerved from her by more imposing
attachments and she would have been far more interested
in Dennis, but nothing lowers a man so much in the
eyes of most women as the fact that he is attracted by
her inferiors. No humiliation is more resented by a
woman in love, at once removing her triumph over other
women in at least having set up for her lover a criterion
to which all those others must conform hereafter, and
at the same time forcing her to brush elbows in his
memories with women she would not choose to associate
with in actuality.
Grace felt a bit patronizing toward Anita. Whatever
Blake's faults were, he did have good taste in women.
Still, she thought Anita had better hold on to Dennis.
Since men are not like foxes and the scent of the last
victim merely makes the trap more alluring, he might
at least be used to catch more eligible admirers. Only,
Anita, not notable for patience, saw so much of him
that Grace was curious about the exact state of her
emotions. She would have been surprised to learn that
Anita had plenty of patience of a sort, that she could
bear any set of circumstances provided she had marked
off in her mind, like a date in a calendar, when it
should end.
The novel was finished in April. After Grace had
found a striking tide by searching through volumes of
familiar quotations, it was delivered.
Then, Grace made up her mind to go abroad. The
time was propitious. For expenses, she had her advance
on the novel. She knew someone who would get her
concessions from a steamship company. Things were
very dull in the office; a periodic wave of economy had
swept over it from the coast and Mr. Graves would be
thankful if she took a leave of absence without pay
during the summer months—in fact she was afraid he might
require this of her and so it would be best to anticipate
of her own accord.
The only flaw was that she did not want to leave
Blake. "These long separations!" she said sagely. "It has
always been my opinion that one should—stick
around." However, leaving thus on the crest of accomplishment,
at the height of her glory, she felt that this would be
the time when Blake would miss her most and most long
for her return. This would be the time when he would
apprehend how many potent affairs of her own might
call her from his side.
She departed on a Saturday morning, amid all the
rites of farewell. Grace herself religiously observed
occasions for ceremony among her friends. She generally
kept them for the reason that people generally do, not
because she wished to exactly, but in order to safeguard
her own ceremonies from the forlornness of neglect.
Blake stood somewhat aloof from the group on deck
of which Grace formed the focal point. It was one of the
smaller boats, and there were only a few conspicuous-looking
passengers, "interesting people." Now and then
some girl or a man by himself would glance at Grace,
choosing her and approving of her as a fellow traveler.
No one would have dreamed that her traveling costume
had been gathered with so much thought and taste;
still, just because its harmony was so simple, it caught
the attention of more expensively dressed women, who
wondered what trick of modishness lay in the crisp pleats
of her navy-blue printed silk, its suede belt, and the
stockings which were, after all, just stockings but which
seemed so exquisite on her legs, so in accord with the
soft and graceful lines of what were, after all, merely
suede shoes.
Mrs. Kline, who dressed well herself but with no such
imaginative attuning to the event as Grace, could be
seen gloating over Grace's "outfit," Grace's companions,
and Grace's "friend," her title for Blake. Mrs. Kline
knew him now. She even took a veiled semi-proprietary
interest in him, as token of her approval, always asking
after his health and his activities, especially now that
his plays had been successful and he, a real playwright,
provided her with free tickets to them. What inkling
she had of the situation was not known, probably not
even by Mrs. Kline herself, as she would not care to
define suspicions which would force her to destroy her
new amity with Grace and with so much of a personage
as the playwright friend. Grace thought that her mother
knew because she no longer questioned. To give
Mrs. Kline a chance to further hide her head, Grace had
suggested that marriage was so unsatisfactory, in view of the
comments that Mrs. Kline herself made, that she preferred
her independence. Mrs. Kline seemed to agree. As
Grace said, "She agrees—if driven to it. She prides
herself on being very modern. She has to pretend to agree,
anyhow, seeing how—extraordinarily unsuccessful her
own marriage was. And it was one of those real love
matches too! She tells all her friends it's only—natural—I
should hesitate."
At the sound of the first warning, Mrs. Kline proudly
ceded Grace's final farewell to Blake. They clung
together in wordless last promises, in last assurances drawn
from each other's lips and arms. Mrs. Kline, keeping her
eyes carefully off the pair, looked from one to the
other of Grace's friends with a touching triumph. They
might be safely married, but which of them would be
relinquished—and only for a few weeks, too—so
unwillingly?
Blake was tight-lipped. It was the first time that he
had been left behind, not Grace. Without waiting for
the others, he plunged from the leave-taking directly
into the crowd that shoved down the gangplank.
Grace delayed Letty for a moment. "Look after him,
will you? Make dates with him, Let." She had asked them
all to "take care of him," partly so as to feel that he was
safe within the bosom of her circle, partly because she
was really worried lest he be left alone. It was Grace
who had welded both of them into the group by her
greater sociability that thus became another asset since,
if Blake were to lose her, he would miss her twice as
much, for herself and for the circle of companionship
in her wake.
When the boat had gone Anita had the good luck to
elude Mrs. Kline, whose eyes were swollen and whose
tongue was feverish with the necessity for pouring out in
sympathetic ears a résumé of the tributes paid to Grace.
She set out for home, climbed the four flights of stairs,
opened the door upon unexpected order—due to the
efforts of Mrs. Kline, who had superintended the
packing—and sank in relief upon the chafed gray velours
of the couch cover.
They had no time to bother with the dressing and
undressing of the apartment. Summer and winter—except
for the time when Grace had had an orgy of
repainting and the other time when she had added a gray
carpet and a daybed in a burst of extravagance—the
furnishings remained the same. The place was a bit
close now. Some roses sent Grace too early and stuck
into a milk bottle in the kitchenette sink were
dropping a withered perfume. Anita disliked odorous
flowers. She got up and flung them into a bright yellow
waste basket and, as the basket overflowed with rubbish
discarded by Grace, she set it outside the door. After
a moment she rose again and picked up some bits of
tissue paper and ends of twine that clung to the gray
wicker armchairs. She looked into the bedroom whose
dowdy odds and ends Grace had never thought it
worthwhile either to banish or adorn. It was quite clear.
Nothing of Grace remained. The furniture, the bowls
and books and pictures, all of Grace's choosing and
owning, were yet neutral enough to transfer themselves
readily to the personality of the present occupant. Even
the photograph of Blake in a silver frame seemed to have
been placed on the bookcase only as an impersonal
adornment.
The telephone rang. It always rang, ft seemed to
Anita, when she had a moment to herself in the house.
She did not feel like rising again. In any case there was
no real need to answer it; the call was sure to be for
Grace and Grace had gone. She let it ring unanswered.
To Anita, who disliked the telephone, there was a great
feeling of release in this.
She did not have to answer the telephone if she did
not like. She did not have to go out, according to the
unwritten code that had grown up between her and
Grace; she did not have to go out even with Dennis,
retaining him as an escort from a sense more of duty than
of pleasure, because of a cowardly conformity to the
social routine that was now expected of her. Grace's
social scheme left no room for voluntary solitude for
herself or anyone about her. Now that Anita was freed
from it, she could see what a strain had been the
constant necessity for going out, for making dates as a
definite scheme of life, a scheme imposed on her,
without a word, by Grace's example and assumption, by
her own human fear of the incomprehension, the pity,
the contempt, meted out to the dissenter.
Dates! Anita, having for nearly two years scrutinized
a succession of dates—Grace's elaborate ones, as well
as her own more modest ones—was sure that for
herself the amount of effort involved in dates would be
too high a price to pay for any entertainment or
any tributes to her vanity she might get out of
them, or for any use she might subtly make, as
Grace did, of the "dated" men. So much trouble! So
much purposeful dressing; so much calculated listening
and admiring; so much amiability; so much pliancy; so
many bores to put up with; so many inane opinions to
agree with; so many fumbling approaches to avoid or
make fun of or be irritated by. And for what? For a
meal, a couple of dances, a couple of drinks which like
as not one didn't want, for two hours at the theater,
for a telephone call next day or next week, and for the
ability to exhibit the fact that one could entice. All in
the wistful hope that once in a blue moon—oh! once in
a very blue moon, perhaps—one would happen on a
personality that was in harmony with one's own, whose
companionship would be not a distraction from but an
enhancement of pleasure; on that rare bird, a man with
charm; on that even rarer bird, a modest man; on a
conversation that required the activity of one's own
mind; on love making that called for more than toleration.
The energy Grace expended on dates! The energy she
expended on Blake! Anita understood that such effort
might be expedient and no more onerous or even less
onerous than effort spent on any other of the affairs of
life for many women to whom marriage remained not
only the most accustomed but the most profitable
profession. But it was a profession which Grace's mind
struggled to reject; she did not intend to be "only a
wife," she proclaimed. Yet the obsession which possessed
her, that she must not lose Blake, the instinct which
urged her to adopt every means to secure herself to
Blake, which bade her follow him regardless—would
that obsession and that instinct leave her much of
herself to withhold from the common plate? Perhaps such
an obsession, such effort, was inevitable. It might be
inevitable to set one's passion on a pedestal, then break
one's neck trying to get to it. Anita only knew that,
for herself, in the midst of any love, no matter how
enthralling, she would always retain a sneaking suspicion
of its comparative insignificance to her. This suspicion
was to her like the most trifling chink in the wall of a
prison, unmarked by all but the prisoner, but to become
for him the means of his escape. A fatal sense of
proportion, the ruin of many and many a love affair, would
always hinder her.
At present she did not care if she never made another
date, never went "out" again in her life. As for
Dennis, someone would marry him pretty soon, Grace
said, "unless you hurry, the first little sap who makes
up her mind will get her hooks into him." Which,
Grace intimated, was a pity on general principles, as
little saps with their simple certainties and serviceable
rules-of-thumb were apt to get away with so much,
get the best end of everything. For once, Anita thought,
Grace was right. And she would miss Dennis, too; she
admitted that she was not unmoved by him, but was
he, on the whole, worth for her the bother of maneuvering
a marriage or the greater effort of glamorous
love as she had observed it? It was beautiful, she
insisted to herself—it must be beautiful. Grace
and Blake were as devoted to each other as two people
could well be. Only—only—neither could she hide
from herself the under side of the pattern, which she
had been forced to examine, the under side where there
was no gloss and knots were tied.
Grace would say, of course, that she was a fool to
"miss the experience." Grace quite granted that there
were experiences other than sexual. She was skeptical
of the theory of sexual experience as a sort of patent
cure-all, particularly for the ills of women, with an
inherent, magical power of enrichment possessed by no
other eventuality, causing talented women to rise from
the pillow geniuses, vixens to be transformed into
saints, naïve souls into women of the world, and mean
spirits into generous. At the same time, her imagination
of the universe did not venture much beyond the realm
of sex and she took it for granted that an experience
was a certain concomitant of an action and necessarily
nourishing.
To Anita there was nothing at all so inevitable about
the value of an experience; it was merely the sum
total of the delicate adjustments between a character and
a situation, and that sum total might be for good or
evil, for value or worthlessness, depending on the
individual. She was influenced sufficiently by Grace's point
of view to half-agree that perhaps she was a fool "to
miss the experience." But the idea rebounded as
harmlessly as a rubber ball from the granite common sense
at the bottom of her nature. She simply could not see
how a night with Dennis Meloney could make her a
better woman. And the experience of marriage with
Dennis Meloney would certainly make her a more
bitter one.
Before she went off to lunch she took a last reassuring
look about the place. Nothing was there to question,
to collide or interfere. She was free to leave, and
when she was ready she would be free to return. It was
left alone like all space, and when she reëntered she
would be alone in it, as in all space. The thought
clutched at all the unrestrained and unrestrainable
particles of her being and tugged her upward like a
balloon. At the same time she paused in fear, with a
premonitory chill, feeling the first weight of solitude
press down upon her heart.