Sunday, 29th
May.
How am I to overtake events?
On Wednesday, as soon as my mail was finished, I had a wild whirl
to look forward to. Immediately after dinner, Belle, Lloyd
and I, set out on horseback, they to the club, I to
Haggard’s, thence to the hotel where I had supper ready for
them. All next day we hung round Apia with our whole
house-crowd in Sunday array, hoping for the mail steamer with a
menagerie on board. No such luck; the ship delayed; and at
last, about three, I had to send them home again, a failure of a
day’s pleasuring that does not bear to be discussed.
Lloyd was so sickened that he returned the same night to Vailima,
Belle and I held on, sat most of the evening on the hotel
verandah stricken silly with fatigue and disappointment, and
genuine sorrow for our poor boys and girls, and got to bed with
rather dismal appreciations of the morrow.
These were more than justified, and yet I never had a jollier
day than Friday 27th. By 7.30 Belle and I had breakfast; we
had scarce done before my mother was at the door on horseback,
and a boy at her heels to take her not very dashing charger home
again. By 8.10 we were all on the landing pier, and it was
9.20 before we had got away in a boat with two inches of green
wood on the keel of her, no rudder, no mast, no sail, no boat
flag, two defective rowlocks, two wretched apologies for oars,
and two boys—one a Tongan half-caste, one a white lad, son
of the Tonga schoolmaster, and a sailor lad—to pull
us. All this was our first taste of the tender mercies of
Taylor (the sesquipidalian half-caste introduced two letters
back, I believe). We had scarce got round Mulinuu when
Salé Taylor’s heart misgave him; he thought we had
missed the tide; called a halt, and set off ashore to find
canoes. Two were found; in one my mother and I were
embarked with the two biscuit tins (my present to the feast), and
the bag with our dry clothes, on which my mother was
perched—and her cap was on the top of it—feminine
hearts please sympathise; all under the guidance of
Salé. In the other Belle and our guest; Tauilo, a
chief-woman, the mother of my cook, were to have followed.
And the boys were to have been left with the boat. But
Tauilo refused. And the four, Belle, Tauilo, Frank the
sailor-boy, and Jimmie the Tongan half-caste, set off in the boat
across that rapidly shoaling bay of the lagoon.
How long the next scene lasted, I could never tell.
Salé was always trying to steal away with our canoe and
leave the other four, probably for six hours, in an empty, leaky
boat, without so much as an orange or a cocoanut on board, and
under the direct rays of the sun. I had at last to stop him
by taking the spare paddle off the out-rigger and sticking it in
the ground—depth, perhaps two feet—width of the bay,
say three miles. At last I bid him land me and my mother
and go back for the other ladies. ‘The coast is so
rugged,’ said Salé.—‘What?’ I
said, ‘all these villages and no landing
place?’—‘Such is the nature of Samoans,’
said he. Well, I’ll find a landing-place, I thought;
and presently I said, ‘Now we are going to land
there.’—‘We can but try,’ said the bland
Salé, with resignation. Never saw a better
landing-place in my life. Here the boat joined us. My
mother and Salé continued in the canoe alone, and Belle
and I and Tauilo set off on foot for Malie. Tauilo was
about the size of both of us put together and a piece over; she
used us like a mouse with children. I had started barefoot;
Belle had soon to pull off her gala shoes and stockings; the mud
was as deep as to our knees, and so slippery that (moving, as we
did, in Indian file, between dense scratching tufts of sensitive)
Belle and I had to take hands to support each other, and Tauilo
was steadying Belle from the rear. You can conceive we were
got up to kill, Belle in an embroidered white dress and white
hat, I in a suit of Bedford cords hot from the Sydney tailors;
and conceive us, below, ink-black to the knees with adhesive
clay, and above, streaming with heat. I suppose it was
better than three miles, but at last we made the end of
Malie. I asked if we could find no water to wash our feet;
and our nursemaid guided us to a pool. We sat down on the
pool side, and our nursemaid washed our feet and legs for
us—ladies first, I suppose out of a sudden respect to the
insane European fancies: such a luxury as you can scarce
imagine. I felt a new man after it. But before we got
to the King’s house we were sadly muddied once more.
It was 1 P.M. when we arrived, the
canoe having beaten us by about five minutes, so we made fair
time over our bog-holes.
But the war dances were over, and we came in time to see only
the tail end (some two hours) of the food presentation. In
Mataafa’s house three chairs were set for us covered with
fine mats. Of course, a native house without the blinds
down is like a verandah. All the green in front was
surrounded with sheds, some of flapping canvas, some of green
palm boughs, where (in three sides of a huge oblong) the natives
sat by villages in a fine glow of many-hued array. There
were folks in tapa, and folks in patchwork; there was every
colour of the rainbow in a spot or a cluster; there were men with
their heads gilded with powdered sandal-wood, others with heads
all purple, stuck full of the petals of a flower. In the
midst there was a growing field of outspread food, gradually
covering acres; the gifts were brought in, now by chanting
deputations, now by carriers in a file; they were brandished
aloft and declaimed over, with polite sacramental exaggerations,
by the official receiver. He, a stalwart, well-oiled
quadragenarian, shone with sweat from his exertions, brandishing
cooked pigs. At intervals, from one of the squatted
villages, an orator would arise. The field was almost
beyond the reach of any human speaking voice; the proceedings
besides continued in the midst; yet it was possible to catch
snatches of this elaborate and cut-and-dry oratory—it was
possible for me, for instance, to catch the description of my
gift and myself as the alii Tusitala, O le alii O malo
tetele—the chief White Information, the chief of the
great Governments. Gay designation? In the house, in
our three curule chairs, we sat and looked on. On our left
a little group of the family. In front of us, at our feet,
an ancient Talking-man, crowned with green leaves, his profile
almost exactly Dante’s; Popo his name. He had
worshipped idols in his youth; he had been full grown before the
first missionary came hither from Tahiti; this makes him over
eighty. Near by him sat his son and colleague. In the
group on our left, his little grandchild sat with her legs
crossed and her hands turned, the model already (at some three
years old) of Samoan etiquette. Still further off to our
right, Mataafa sat on the ground through all the business; and
still I saw his lips moving, and the beads of his rosary slip
stealthily through his hand. We had kava, and the
King’s drinking was hailed by the Popos (father and son)
with a singular ululation, perfectly new to my ears; it means, to
the expert, ‘Long live Tuiatua’; to the inexpert, is
a mere voice of barbarous wolves. We had dinner, retired a
bit behind the central pillar of the house; and, when the King
was done eating, the ululation was repeated. I had my eyes
on Mataafa’s face, and I saw pride and gratified ambition
spring to life there and be instantly sucked in again. It
was the first time, since the difference with Laupepa, that Popo
and his son had openly joined him, and given him the due cry as
Tuiatua—one of the eight royal names of the islands, as I
hope you will know before this reaches you.
Not long after we had dined, the food-bringing was over.
The gifts (carefully noted and tallied as they came in) were now
announced by a humorous orator, who convulsed the audience,
introducing singing notes, now on the name of the article, now on
the number; six thousand odd heads of taro, three hundred and
nineteen cooked pigs; and one thing that particularly caught me
(by good luck), a single turtle ‘for the
King’—le tasi mo le tupu. Then came one
of the strangest sights I have yet witnessed. The two most
important persons there (bar Mataafa) were Popo and his
son. They rose, holding their long shod rods of talking
men, passed forth from the house, broke into a strange dance, the
father capering with outstretched arms and rod, the son crouching
and gambolling beside him in a manner indescribable, and
presently began to extend the circle of this dance among the
acres of cooked food. Whatever they leaped over,
whatever they called for, became theirs. To
see mediæval Dante thus demean himself struck a kind of a
chill of incongruity into our Philistine souls; but even in a
great part of the Samoan concourse, these antique and (I
understand) quite local manners awoke laughter. One of my
biscuit tins and a live calf were among the spoils he claimed,
but the large majority of the cooked food (having once proved his
dignity) he re-presented to the King.
Then came the turn of le alii Tusitala. He would
not dance, but he was given—five live hens, four gourds of
oil, four fine tapas, a hundred heads of taro, two cooked pigs, a
cooked shark, two or three cocoanut branches strung with kava,
and the turtle, who soon after breathed his last, I believe, from
sunstroke. It was a royal present for ‘the chief of
the great powers.’ I should say the gifts were, on
the proper signal, dragged out of the field of food by a troop of
young men, all with their lava-lavas kilted almost into a
loin-cloth. The art is to swoop on the food-field, pick up
with unerring swiftness the right things and quantities, swoop
forth again on the open, and separate, leaving the gifts in a new
pile: so you may see a covey of birds in a corn-field. This
reminds me of a very inhumane but beautiful passage I had
forgotten in its place. The gift-giving was still in full
swing, when there came a troop of some ninety men all in tafa
lava-lavas of a purplish colour; they paused, and of a sudden
there went up from them high into the air a flight of live
chickens, which, as they came down again, were sent again into
the air, for perhaps a minute, from the midst of a singular
turmoil of flying arms and shouting voices; I assure you, it was
very beautiful to see, but how many chickens were killed?
No sooner was my food set out than I was to be going. I
had a little serious talk with Mataafa on the floor, and we went
down to the boat, where we got our food aboard, such a
cargo—like the Swiss Family Robinson, we said.
However, a squall began, Tauilo refused to let us go, and we came
back to the house for half-an-hour or so, when my ladies
distinguished themselves by walking through a Fono (council), my
mother actually taking up a position between Mataafa and
Popo! It was about five when we started—turtle, pigs,
taro, etc., my mother, Belle, myself, Tauilo, a portly friend of
hers with the voice of an angel, and a pronunciation so delicate
and true that you could follow Samoan as she sang, and the two
tired boys Frank and Jimmie, with the two bad oars and the two
slippery rowlocks to impel the whole. Salé Taylor
took the canoe and a strong Samoan to paddle him. Presently
after he went inshore, and passed us a little after, with his
arms folded, and two strong Samoans impelling him
Apia-ward. This was too much for Belle, who hailed, taunted
him, and made him return to the boat with one of the Samoans,
setting Jimmie instead in the canoe. Then began our
torment, Salé and the Samoan took the oars, sat on the
same thwart (where they could get no swing on the boat had they
tried), and deliberately ladled at the lagoon. We lay
enchanted. Night fell; there was a light visible on shore;
it did not move. The two women sang, Belle joining them in
the hymns she has learned at family worship. Then a squall
came up; we sat a while in roaring midnight under rivers of rain,
and, when it blew by, there was the light again, immovable.
A second squall followed, one of the worst I was ever out in; we
could scarce catch our breath in the cold, dashing deluge.
When it went, we were so cold that the water in the bottom of the
boat (which I was then baling) seemed like a warm footbath in
comparison, and Belle and I, who were still barefoot, were quite
restored by laving in it.
All this time I had kept my temper, and refrained as far as
might be from any interference, for I saw (in our friend’s
mulish humour) he always contrived to twist it to our
disadvantage. But now came the acute point. Young
Frank now took an oar. He was a little fellow, near as
frail as myself, and very short; if he weighed nine stone, it was
the outside; but his blood was up. He took stroke, moved
the big Samoan forward to bow, and set to work to pull him round
in fine style. Instantly a kind of race
competition—almost race hatred—sprang up. We
jeered the Samoan. Salé declared it was the trim of
the boat: ‘if this lady was aft’ (Tauilo’s
portly friend) ‘he would row round Frank.’ We
insisted on her coming aft, and Frank still rowed round the
Samoan. When the Samoan caught a crab (the thing was
continual with these wretched oars and rowlocks), we shouted and
jeered; when Frank caught one, Salé and the Samoan jeered
and yelled. But anyway the boat moved, and presently we got
up with Mulinuu, where I finally lost my temper, when I found
that Salé proposed to go ashore and make a visit—in
fact, we all three did. It is not worth while going into,
but I must give you one snatch of the subsequent conversation as
we pulled round Apia bay. ‘This Samoan,’ said
Salé, ‘received seven German bullets in the field of
Fangalii.’ ‘I am delighted to hear it,’
said Belle. ‘His brother was killed there,’
pursued Salé; and Belle, prompt as an echo, ‘Then
there are no more of the family? how delightful!’
Salé was sufficiently surprised to change the subject; he
began to praise Frank’s rowing with insufferable
condescension: ‘But it is after all not to be wondered
at,’ said he, ‘because he has been for some time a
sailor. My good man, is it three or five years that you
have been to sea?’ And Frank, in a defiant shout:
‘Two!’ Whereupon, so high did the ill-feeling
run, that we three clapped and applauded and shouted, so that the
President (whose house we were then passing) doubtless started at
the sounds. It was nine when we got to the hotel; at first
no food was to be found, but we skirmished up some bread and
cheese and beer and brandy; and (having changed our wet clothes
for the rather less wet in our bags) supped on the verandah.
Saturday 28th. I was wakened about 6.30,
long past my usual hour, by a benevolent passer-by. My
turtle lay on the verandah at my door, and the man woke me to
tell me it was dead, as it had been when we put it on board the
day before. All morning I ran the gauntlet of men and women
coming up to me: ‘Mr. Stevenson, your turtle is
dead.’ I gave half of it to the hotel keeper, so that
his cook should cut it up; and we got a damaged shell, and two
splendid meals, beefsteak one day and soup the next. The
horses came for us about 9.30. It was waterspouting; we
were drenched before we got out of the town; the road was a fine
going Highland trout stream; it thundered deep and frequent, and
my mother’s horse would not better on a walk. At last
she took pity on us, and very nobly proposed that Belle and I
should ride ahead. We were mighty glad to do so, for we
were cold. Presently, I said I should ride back for my
mother, but it thundered again, Belle is afraid of thunder, and I
decided to see her through the forest before I returned for my
other hen—I may say, my other wet hen. About the
middle of the wood, where it is roughest and steepest, we met
three pack-horses with barrels of lime-juice. I piloted
Belle past these—it is not very easy in such a
road—and then passed them again myself, to pilot my
mother. This effected, it began to thunder again, so I rode
on hard after Belle. When I caught up with her, she was
singing Samoan hymns to support her terrors! We were all
back, changed, and at table by lunch time, 11 A.M. Nor have any of us been the
worse for it sinsyne. That is pretty good for a woman of my
mother’s age and an invalid of my standing; above all, as
Tauilo was laid up with a bad cold, probably increased by
rage.
Friday, 3rd
June.
On Wednesday the club could not be held, and I must ride down
town and to and fro all afternoon delivering messages, then dined
and rode up by the young moon. I had plenty news when I got
back; there is great talk in town of my deportation: it is
thought they have written home to Downing Street requesting my
removal, which leaves me not much alarmed; what I do rather
expect is that H. J. Moors and I may be haled up before the C. J.
to stand a trial for lèse-Majesty. Well,
we’ll try and live it through.
The rest of my history since Monday has been unadulterated
David Balfour. In season and out of season, night
and day, David and his innocent harem—let me be just, he
never has more than the two—are on my mind. Think of
David Balfour with a pair of fair ladies—very nice ones
too—hanging round him. I really believe David is as a
good character as anybody has a right to ask for in a
novel. I have finished drafting Chapter XX. to-day, and feel it all ready to
froth when the spigot is turned.
O I forgot—and do forget. What did I mean? A
waft of cloud has fallen on my mind, and I will write no
more.
Wednesday, I believe,
8th June.
Lots of David, and lots of David, and the devil any other
news. Yesterday we were startled by great guns firing a
salute, and to-day Whitmee (missionary) rode up to lunch, and we
learned it was the Curaçoa come in, the ship
(according to rumour) in which I was to be deported. I went
down to meet my fate, and the captain is to dine with me
Saturday, so I guess I am not going this voyage. Even with
the particularity with which I write to you, how much of my life
goes unexpressed; my troubles with a madman by the name of
—, a genuine living lunatic, I believe, and jolly
dangerous; my troubles about poor —, all these have dropped
out; yet for moments they were very instant, and one of them is
always present with me.
I have finished copying Chapter XXI. of David—‘solus cum
sola; we travel together.’ Chapter XXII., ‘Solus cum sola; we
keep house together,’ is already drafted. To the end
of XXI. makes more than 150 pages
of my manuscript—damn this hair—and I only designed
the book to run to about 200; but when you introduce the female
sect, a book does run away with you. I am very curious to
see what you will think of my two girls. My own opinion is
quite clear; I am in love with both. I foresee a few
pleasant years of spiritual flirtations. The creator (if I
may name myself, for the sake of argument, by such a name) is
essentially unfaithful. For the duration of the two
chapters in which I dealt with Miss Grant, I totally forgot my
heroine, and even—but this is a flat secret—tried to
win away David. I think I must try some day to marry Miss
Grant. I’m blest if I don’t think I’ve
got that hair out! which seems triumph enough; so I conclude.
Tuesday.
Your infinitesimal correspondence has reached me, and I have
the honour to refer to it with scorn. It contains only one
statement of conceivable interest, that your health is better;
the rest is null, and so far as disquisitory unsound. I am
all right, but David Balfour is ailing; this came from my visit
to the man-of-war, where I had a cup of tea, and the most of that
night walked the verandah with extraordinary convictions of guilt
and ruin, many of which (but not all) proved to have fled with
the day, taking David along with them; he R.I.P. in Chapter XXII.
On Saturday I went down to the town, and fetched up Captain
Gibson to dinner; Sunday I was all day at Samoa, and had a pile
of visitors. Yesterday got my mail, including your
despicable sheet; was fooled with a visit from the high chief
Asi, went down at 4 P.M. to my
Samoan lesson from Whitmee—I think I shall learn from him,
he does not fool me with cockshot rules that are demolished next
day, but professes ignorance like a man; the truth is, the
grammar has still to be expiscated—dined with Haggard, and
got home about nine.
Wednesday.
The excellent Clarke up here almost all day yesterday, a man I
esteem and like to the soles of his boots; I prefer him to anyone
in Samoa, and to most people in the world; a real good
missionary, with the inestimable advantage of having grown up a
layman. Pity they all can’t get that! It
recalls my old proposal, which delighted Lady Taylor so much,
that every divinity student should be thirty years old at least
before he was admitted. Boys switched out of college into a
pulpit, what chance have they? That any should do well
amazes me, and the most are just what was to be expected.
Saturday.
I must tell you of our feast. It was long promised to
the boys, and came off yesterday in one of their new
houses. My good Simelé arrived from Savaii that
morning asking for political advice; then we had Tauilo;
Elena’s father, a talking man of Tauilo’s family;
Talolo’s cousin; and a boy of Simelé’s family,
who attended on his dignity; then Metu, the meat-man—you
have never heard of him, but he is a great person in our
household—brought a lady and a boy—and there was
another infant—eight guests in all. And we sat down
thirty strong. You should have seen our procession, going
(about two o’clock), all in our best clothes, to the hall
of feasting! All in our Sunday’s best. The new
house had been hurriedly finished; the rafters decorated with
flowers; the floor spread, native style, with green leaves; we
had given a big porker, twenty-five pounds of fresh beef, a tin
of biscuit, cocoanuts, etc. Our places were all arranged
with much care; the native ladies of the house facing our party;
the sides filled up by the men; the guests, please observe: the
two chief people, male and female, were placed with our family,
the rest between S. and the native ladies. After the feast
was over, we had kava, and the calling of the kava was a very
elaborate affair, and I thought had like to have made
Simelé very angry; he is really a considerable chief, but
he and Tauilo were not called till after all our family, and
the guests, I suppose the principle being that he was still
regarded as one of the household. I forgot to say that our
black boy did not turn up when the feast was ready. Off
went the two cooks, found him, decorated him with huge red
hibiscus flowers—he was in a very dirty under
shirt—brought him back between them like a reluctant maid,
and, thrust him into a place between Faauma and Elena, where he
was petted and ministered to. When his turn came in the
kava drinking—and you may be sure, in their contemptuous,
affectionate kindness for him, as for a good dog, it came rather
earlier than it ought—he was cried under a new name.
Aleki is what they make of his own name Arrick; but
instead of [the cup of / ‘le ipu o] Aleki!’ it was
called ‘le ipu o Vailima’ and it was explained
that he had ‘taken his chief-name’! a jest at which
the plantation still laughs. Kava done, I made a little
speech, Henry translating. If I had been well, I should
have alluded to all, but I was scarce able to sit up; so only
alluded to my guest of all this month, the Tongan, Tomas, and to
Simelé, partly for the jest of making him translate
compliments to himself. The talking man replied with many
handsome compliments to me, in the usual flood of Samoan fluent
neatness; and we left them to an afternoon of singing and
dancing. Must stop now, as my right hand is very bad
again. I am trying to write with my left.
Sunday.
About half-past eight last night, I had gone to my own room,
Fanny and Lloyd were in Fanny’s, every one else in bed,
only two boys on the premises—the two little brown boys
Mitaiele (Michael), age I suppose 11 or 12, and the new steward,
a Wallis islander, speaking no English and about fifty words of
Samoan, recently promoted from the bush work, and a most good,
anxious, timid lad of 15 or 16—looks like 17 or 18, of
course—they grow fast here. In comes Mitaiele to
Lloyd, and told some rigmarole about Paatalise (the
steward’s name) wanting to go and see his family in the
bush.—‘But he has no family in the bush,’ said
Lloyd. ‘No,’ said Mitaiele. They went to
the boy’s bed (they sleep in the walled-in compartment of
the verandah, once my dressing-room) and called at once for
me. He lay like one asleep, talking in drowsy tones but
without excitement, and at times ‘cheeping’ like a
frightened mouse; he was quite cool to the touch, and his pulse
not fast; his breathing seemed wholly ventral; the bust still,
the belly moving strongly. Presently he got from his bed,
and ran for the door, with his head down not three feet from the
floor and his body all on a stretch forward, like a striking
snake: I say ‘ran,’ but this strange movement was not
swift. Lloyd and I mastered him and got him back in
bed. Soon there was another and more desperate attempt to
escape, in which Lloyd had his ring broken. Then we bound
him to the bed humanely with sheets, ropes, boards and
pillows. He lay there and sometimes talked, sometimes
whispered, sometimes wept like an angry child; his principal word
was
‘Faamolemole’—‘Please’—and he
kept telling us at intervals that his family were calling
him. During this interval, by the special grace of God, my
boys came home; we had already called in Arrick, the black boy;
now we had that Hercules, Lafaele, and a man Savea, who comes
from Paatalise’s own island and can alone communicate with
him freely. Lloyd went to bed, I took the first watch, and
sat in my room reading, while Lafaele and Arrick watched the
madman. Suddenly Arrick called me; I ran into the verandah;
there was Paatalise free of all his bonds and Lafaele holding
him. To tell what followed is impossible. We were
five people at him—Lafaele and Savea, very strong men,
Lloyd, I and Arrick, and the struggle lasted until 1 A.M. before we had him bound. One
detail for a specimen: Lloyd and I had charge of one leg, we were
both sitting on it, and lo! we were both tossed into the
air—I, I daresay, a couple of feet. At last we had
him spread-eagled to the iron bedstead, by his wrists and ankles,
with matted rope; a most inhumane business, but what could we do?
it was all we could do to manage it even so. The strength
of the paroxysms had been steadily increasing, and we trembled
for the next. And now I come to pure Rider Haggard.
Lafaele announced that the boy was very bad, and he would get
‘some medicine’ which was a family secret of his
own. Some leaves were brought mysteriously in; chewed,
placed on the boy’s eyes, dropped in his ears (see Hamlet)
and stuck up his nostrils; as he did this, the weird doctor
partly smothered the patient with his hand; and by about 2 A.M. he was in a deep sleep, and from
that time he showed no symptom of dementia whatever. The
medicine (says Lafaele) is principally used for the wholesale
slaughter of families; he himself feared last night that his dose
was fatal; only one other person, on this island, knows the
secret; and she, Lafaele darkly whispers, has abused it.
This remarkable tree we must try to identify.
The man-of-war doctor came up to-day, gave us a
strait-waistcoat, taught us to bandage, examined the boy and saw
he was apparently well—he insisted on doing his work all
morning, poor lad, and when he first came down kissed all the
family at breakfast! The Doctor was greatly excited, as may
be supposed, about Lafaele’s medicine.
Tuesday.
All yesterday writing my mail by the hand of Belle, to save my
wrist. This is a great invention, to which I shall stick,
if it can be managed. We had some alarm about Paatalise,
but he slept well all night for a benediction. This lunatic
asylum exercise has no attractions for any of us.
I don’t know if I remembered to say how much pleased I
was with Across the Plains in every way, inside and out,
and you and me. The critics seem to taste it, too, as well
as could be hoped, and I believe it will continue to bring me in
a few shillings a year for a while. But such books pay only
indirectly.
To understand the full horror of the mad scene, and how well
my boys behaved, remember that they believed P.’s
ravings, they knew that his dead family, thirty
strong, crowded the front verandah and called on him to come to
the other world. They knew that his dead brother had
met him that afternoon in the bush and struck him on both
temples. And remember! we are fighting the dead, and they
had to go out again in the black night, which is the dead
man’s empire. Yet last evening, when I thought P. was
going to repeat the performance, I sent down for Lafaele, who had
leave of absence, and he and his wife came up about eight
o’clock with a lighted brand. These are the things
for which I have to forgive my old cattle-man his manifold
shortcomings; they are heroic—so are the shortcomings, to
be sure.
It came over me the other day suddenly that this diary of mine
to you would make good pickings after I am dead, and a man could
make some kind of a book out of it without much trouble.
So, for God’s sake, don’t lose them, and they will
prove a piece of provision for my ‘poor old family,’
as Simelé calls it.
About my coming to Europe, I get more and more doubtful, and
rather incline to Ceylon again as place of meeting. I am so
absurdly well here in the tropics, that it seems like
affectation. Yet remember I have never once stood
Sydney. Anyway, I shall have the money for it all ahead,
before I think of such a thing.
We had a bowl of Punch on your birthday, which my incredible
mother somehow knew and remembered.
I sometimes sit and yearn for anything in the nature of an
income that would come in—mine has all got to be gone and
fished for with the immortal mind of man. What I want is
the income that really comes in of itself while all you have to
do is just to blossom and exist and sit on chairs. Think
how beautiful it would be not to have to mind the critics, and
not even the darkest of the crowd—Sidney Colvin. I
should probably amuse myself with works that would make your hair
curl, if you had any left.
R. L S.