“It seem like ter me dat I hear somebody say,
not longer dan day ’fo’ yistiddy, dat dey’d
be mighty glad ef dey could fin’ some un
fer ter bet wid um,” said Uncle Remus, staring
hard at the little boy, and then suddenly shutting
his eyes tight, so that he might keep from laughing
at the expression he saw on the child’s face.
Receiving no immediate response to his remark,
the old man opened his eyes again, and found
the little boy regarding him with a puzzled air.
“My mother says it is wrong to bet,” said the
child after awhile. He was quite serious, and it
was just this aspect of seriousness that made him
a little different from another little boy that had
been raised at Uncle Remus’s knee. “Mother
says that no Christian would want to bet.”
The old man closed his eyes again, as though
trying to remember something. He frowned and
smacked his mouth before he spoke, “It look like
dat I never is ter git de tas’e er dat chicken-pie
what yo’ gran’ma sont me out’n my mouf. I
dunner when I been had any chicken-pie what
stayed wid me like dat chicken-pie. But ’bout
dat bettin’,” he remarked, straightening himself
in his chair, “I speck I mus’ ’a’ been a-dreamin’.
I know mighty well it couldn’t ’a’ been you; so
we’ll des up an’ say it wuz little Dreamus, an’ let
it go at dat. All I know is dat dey wuz a little chap
loungin’ roun’ here tryin’ fer ter l’arn how ter
play mumbly-peg wid one er de case-knives what
he tuck fum de white folks’ dinner-table, an’
whiles he wuz in de middle er his l’arnin’, de ol’
speckled hen run fum under de house here, an’
sot up a mighty cacklin’, kaze she fear’d some un
wuz gwineter interrupt de eggs what she been
nussin’ an’ warmin’ up. She cackle, an’ she
cackle, an’ den she cackle some mo’ fer ter keep
fum fergittin’ how; an’ ’long ’bout dat time, dish
yer little boy what I been tellin’ you ’bout—I
speck we’ll be bleeze ter call him Dreamus—he
up wid a rock an’ flung it right at ’er, an’ ef she’d
’a’ been in de way er de rock, he’d ’a’ come
mighty nigh hittin’ her. Dis make de ol’ hen bofe
skeer’d an’ fear’d an’ likewise mad, an’ she
hitched a squall on ter her cackle, an’ flop her
wings. Seein’ dat de hen wuz mad, dis little chap,
which he name Dreamus, he got mad, too, an’ he
’lowed, ‘I bet you I make you hush!’ an’ dar dey
had it, de ol’ hen runnin’ an’ squallin’, an’ de
little chap zoonin’ rocks at her. I speck de hen
would ’a’ bet ef she’d ’a’ know’d how—an’ she
sho’ would ’a’ won de bet, kaze de las’ news I
hear fum ’er she wuz runnin’ an’ squallin’.”
The little boy squirmed uneasily in his chair.
He remembered the incident very well, so well
that he hardly knew what to say. But after a while,
thinking that it was both necessary and polite to
say something, he declared that when he made
that remark to the hen he knew she wouldn’t
understand him, and that what he said about betting
was just a saying.
“Dat mought be, honey,” said Uncle Remus,
“but don’t you fool yo’se’f ’bout dat hen not
knowin’ how ter talk, kaze dey has been times
an’ places when de creeturs kin do lots mo’ talkin’
dan folks. When you git ter be ol’ ez what I is,
you’ll know dat talkin’ ain’t got nothin’ in de
roun’ worl’ ter do wid fedders, an’ needer wid fur.
I hear you say you want ter bet wid de ol’ hen,
an’ ef you still wantin’ you got a mighty good
chance dis day ef de sun is mighty nigh down. I’ll
bet you a thrip ag’in a ginger-cake dat when you
had yo’ dinner you ain’t fin’ no chicken gizzard
in yo’ part er de pie.”
“No,” replied the child, “I didn’t, and when I
asked grandmother about it, she said she was
going to raise some chickens next year with
double gizzards.”
“Did she say dat? Did Miss Sally say dat?”
inquired Uncle Remus, laughing delightedly.
“Well, suh, dat sho’ do bang my time! How
come she ter know dat some er de creeturs got
double gizzards? She sho’ is de outdoin’est white
’oman what’s yever been bornded inter de worl’.
She done sont me de chicken gizzard des so I kin
tell you ’bout de double gizzards an’ de what-nots.
Double gizzards! De ve’y name flings me
’way back yander ter ol’ folks an’ ol’ times.
Laws-a-massy! I wonder what Miss Sally gwine
do nex’; anybody what guess it oughter be president
by good rights.” Uncle Remus paused, and
lowered his voice to a confidential tone—“She
ain’t tell you ’bout de time when de Yallergater
wuz honin’ fer ol’ Brer Rabbit’s double gizzards,
is she, honey?”
“No, she didn’t tell me that, but she laughed,
and when I asked her what she was laughing at,
she said I’d find out by the time I was seven feet
tall.”
“You hear dat, don’t you?” Uncle Remus
spoke as though there were a third person in the
room. “What I been tellin’ you all dis time?” and
then he laughed as though this third person were
laughing with him. “You may try, an’ you may
fly, but you never is ter see de beat er Miss Sally.”
“Was grandmother talking about a tale, Uncle
Remus? It must have been a very funny one, for
she laughed until she had to take off her spectacles
and wipe them dry,” said the little boy.
“Dat’s her! dat’s Miss Sally up an’ down, an’
dey can’t nobody git ahead er her. She know’d
mighty well dat time you say sump’n ’bout
double gizzards my min’ would fly right back ter
de time when de Yalligater wuz dribblin’ at de
mouf, an’ ol’ Brer Rabbit wuz shaking in his
shoes.”
“If it’s a long story, I’m afraid you haven’t
time to tell it now,” suggested the little boy.
The child was so polite that the old negro stood
somewhat in awe of him, and he was afraid, too,
that it was ominous of some misfortune—there
was something uncanny about it from Uncle
Remus’s point of view. “Bless you, honey!
I got des ez much time ez what dey is—it all
b’longs ter me an’ you. Maybe you wanter go
some’rs else; maybe you’ll wait twel some yuther
day fer de platted whip dat I hear you talkin’
’bout.”
“No; I’ll wait and get the story and the whip
together—if you are not too tired.”
The old negro looked at the little boy from the
corner of his eye to see if he was really in earnest.
Satisfying himself on that score, he promptly
began to plait the whip while he unraveled the
story. He seemed to be more serious than usual,
but one of the peculiarities of Uncle Remus, as
many a child had discovered, was that he was
not to be judged by any outward aspect. This is
the way he began:
“Ever since I been pirootin’ roun’ in deze low-groun’s,
it’s been de talk er dem what know’d dat
Brer Rabbit wuz a mighty man at a frolic. I
don’t speck he’d show up much in deze days, but
in de times when de creeturs wuz bossin’ dey own
jobs, Brer Rabbit wuz up fer perty nigh ev’ything
dat wuz gwine on ef dey want too much work in
it. Dey couldn’t be a dance er a quiltin’ nowhar’s
aroun’ but what he’d be dar; he wuz fust ter
come an’ last ter go.
“He holla’d fer de man what run de ferry”
“Well, dey wuz one time when he went too fur
an’ stayed too late, bekaze a big rain come endurin’
de time when dey wuz playin’ an’ dancin’,
an’ when Brer Rabbit put out fer home, he foun’
dat a big freshet done come an’ gone. De dreens
had got ter be creeks, de creeks had got ter be
rivers, an’ de rivers—well, I ain’t gwine ter tell
you what de rivers wuz kaze you’d think dat I
done tol’ de trufe good-bye.
By makin’ big jumps an’
gwine out er his way, Brer
Rabbit manage fer ter git
ez close ter home ez de creek,
but when he git dar, de creek
wuz so wide dat it
make him feel like
he been los’ so long
dat his fambly done
fergot him. Many
an’ many a time had
he cross’ dat creek on a log, but de log done gone,
an’ de water wuz spread out all over creation. De
water wuz wide, but dat wa’n’t mo’ dan half—it
look like it wuz de wettest water dat Brer Rabbit
ever lay eyes on.
“Dar wuz ol’ Brer B’ar settin’ at de foot
er de tree”
“Dey wuz a ferry dar fer times like dis, but it
look like it wuz a bigger fresh dan what dey had
counted on. Brer Rabbit, he sot on de bank an’
wipe de damp out’n his face an’ eyes, an’ den he
holla’d fer de man what run de ferry. He holla’d
an’ holla’d, an’ bimeby, he hear some un answer
him, an’ he looked a little closer, an’ dar wuz de
man, which his name wuz Jerry, way up in de top
lim’s uv a tree; an’
he looked still closer,
an’ he seed
dat Jerry had
company,
kaze dar wuz ol’ Brer
B’ar settin’ at de foot er de tree,
waitin’ fer Jerry fer ter come
down so he kin tell ’im
howdy.” Uncle Remus
paused to see
what effect
this statement
would have on the
little boy. The
youngster said
nothing, but
his shrewd smile showed the old man that
he fully appreciated the reason why Jerry
was in no hurry to shake hands with Brother
Bear.
“Well, suh, Brer Rabbit took notice dat dey
wuz sump’n mo’ dan dampness ’twix’ um, an he
start in ter holla again, an’ he holla’d so loud, an’
he holla’d so long, dat he woke up ol’ Brer Yalligater.
Now, it ain’t make ol’ Brer Yalligater feel
good fer ter be wokened up at dat hour, kaze he’d
des had a nice supper er pine-knots an’ sweet
’taters, an’ he wuz layin’ out at full lenk on his
mud bed. He ’low ter hisse’f, he did, ‘Who in de
nation is dis tryin’ fer ter holla de bottom out er
de creek?’ He lissen, an’ den he turn over an’
lissen ag’in. He shot one eye, an’ den he shot de
yuther one, but dey ain’t no sleepin’ in dat neighberhood.
Jerry in de tree, he holla back, ‘Can’t
come—got comp’ny!’
“Brer Yalligater, he hear dis, an’ he say ter
hisse’f dat ef nobody can’t come, he kin, an’ he
riz ter de top wid no mo’ fuss dan a fedder-bed
makes when you let it ’lone. He riz, he did, an’ his
two eyes look des perzackly like two bullets
floatin’ on de water. He riz an’ wunk his eye, an’
ax Brer Rabbit howdy, an’ mo’ speshually how is
his daughter. Brer Rabbit, he say dat dey ain’t no
tellin’ how his daughter is, kaze when he lef’
home her head wuz a-swellin’. He say dat some
er de neighbors’ chillun come by an’ flung rocks
at her an’ one un um hit her on top er de head
right whar de cow-lick is, an’ he hatter run atter
de doctor.
“He riz an’ wunk his eye, an’ ax Brer Rabbit howdy”
“Brer Yalligater ’low, ‘You don’t tell me, Brer
Rabbit, dat it’s come ter dis! Yo’ chillun gittin’
chunked by yo’ neighbors’ chillun! Well, well,
well! I wish you’d tell me wharbouts it’s all
a-gwine ter een’ at. Why, it’ll git so atter while
dat dey ain’t no peace anywhar’s ’ceppin at my
house in de bed er de creek.’
“Brer Rabbit say, ‘Ain’t it de trufe? An’ not
only does Brer Fox chillun chunk my chillun on
dey cow-licks, but no sooner is I gone atter de
doctor dan here come de creek a-risin’. I may be
wrong, but I ain’t skeer’d ter say dat it beats anything
I yever is lay eyes on. Over yander in de
fur woods is what my daughter is layin’ wid de
headache, an’ here’s her pa, an’ ’twix’ us is de
b’ilin’ creek. Ef I wuz ter try ter wade, ten ter one
de water would be over my head, an’ ef not dat
bad, all de pills what de doctor gi’ me would melt
in my pocket. An’ dey might pizen me, kaze de
doctor ain’t say dey wuz ter be tuck outside.’
“‘Ef you think you kin stay in one place long enough, I’ll try ter put
you ’cross de creek’”
“Ol’ Brer Yalligater float on de water like he
ain’t weigh no mo’ dan one er deze yer postitch
stomps, an’ he try ter drop a tear. He groan, he
did, an’ float backerds an’ forrerds like a tired canoe.
He say, ‘Brer Rabbit, ef dey yever wuz a
rover you is one. Up you come an’ off you go, an’
dey ain’t no mo’ keepin’ up wid you dan ef you
had wings. Ef you think you kin stay in one place
long enough, I’ll try ter put you ’cross de creek.
Brer Rabbit kinder rub his chin whiles he wiggle
his nose. He ’low, sezee, ‘Brer ’Gater, how deep
is dat water what you floatin’ in?’ Brer Yalligater
say, sezee, ‘Brer Rabbit, ef me an’ my ol’
’oman wuz ter jine heads, an’ I wuz ter stan’ on
de tip-een’ my tail, dey’ll still be room enough fer
all er my chillun ’fo’ we totch bottom.’
“Brer Rabbit, he fell back like he gwineter
faint. He ’low, ‘Brer ’Gater, you don’t tell me!
You sholy don’t mean dem last words! Why, you
make me feel like I’m furder fum home and dem
what’s done lost fer good! How de name er goodness
you gwineter put me ’cross dis slippery
water?’ Brer Yalligater, he blow a bubble or two
out’n his nose, an’ den he say, sezee, ‘Ef you kin
stay still in one place long ’nough, I’m gwineter
take you ’cross on my back. You nee’nter say
thanky, yit I want you ter know dat I ain’t eve’ybody’s
water-hoss.’ Brer Rabbit he ’low, sezee,
‘I kin well b’lieve dat, Brer ’Gater, but somehow,
I kinder got a notion dat yo’ tail mighty
limber. I hear ol’ folks say dat you kin knock a
chip fum de back er yo’ head wid de tip-een’ er
yo’ tail an’ never haf try.’ Brer Yalligater smack
his mouf, an’ say, sezee, ‘Limber my tail may
be, Brer Rabbit, an’ fur-reachin’, but don’t
blame me. It wuz dat a-way when it wuz ’gun ter
me. It’s all j’inted up ’cordin’ ter natur.’
“Brer Rabbit, he study an’ study, an’ de mo’
he study, de wuss he like it. But he bleeze ter go
home—dey wa’n’t no two ways ’bout dat—an’
he ’low, sezee, ‘I speck what you say is
some’rs in de neighborhoods er de trufe, Brer
’Gater, an’ mo’ dan dat, I b’lieve I’ll go ’long wid
you. Ef you’ll ride up a leetle closer, I’ll make
up my mind so I won’t keep you waitin’.’ Brer
Yalligater, he float by de side er de bank same
ez a cork out’n a pickle bottle. He ain’t do like he
in a hurry, kaze he drapt a word er two about de
wedder, an’ he say dat de water wuz mighty col’
down dar in de slushes. But Brer Rabbit tuck
notice dat when he smole one er his smiles, he
show’d up a double row er tushes, dat look like
dey’d do mighty good work in a saw-mill. Brer
Rabbit, he ’gun ter shake like he havin’ a chill;
he ’low, ‘I feel dat damp, Brer ’Gater, dat I
mought des ez well be in water up ter my chin!’
Brer Yalligater ain’t say nothin’, but he can’t hide
his tushes. Brer Rabbit look up, he look down,
an’ he look all aroun’. He ain’t skacely know
what ter do. He ’low, ‘Brer ’Gater, yo’ back
mighty roughnin’; how I gwine ter ride on it?’
Brer Yalligater say, sezee, ‘De roughnin’ will
he’p you ter hol’ on, kaze you’ll hatter ride
straddle. You kin des fit yo’ foots on de bumps
an’ kinder brace yo’se’f when you think you see
a log floatin’ at us. You kin des set up dar same
ez ef you wuz settin’ at home in yo’ rockin’-cheer.
“‘Brer ’Gater, ef I ain’t mighty much mistooken, you ain’t headin’
fer de lan’in’’”
“Brer Rabbit shuck his head, but he got on,
he did, an’ he ain’t no sooner git on dan he wish
mighty hard he wuz off. Brer Yalligater say,
sezee. ‘You kin pant ef you wanter, Brer Rabbit,
but I’ll do de paddlin’,’ an’ den he slip thoo de
water des like he greased. Brer Rabbit sho’ wuz
skeer’d but he keep his eye open, an’ bimeby he
tuck notice dat Brer Yalligater wa’n’t makin’ fer
de place whar de lan’in’s at, an’ he up an’ sesso.
He ’low, ‘Brer ’Gater, ef I ain’t mighty much
mistooken, you ain’t headin’ fer de lan’in’.’ Brer
Yalligater say, sezee, ‘You sho’ is got mighty
good eyes, Brer Rabbit. I been waitin’ fer you a
long time, an’ I’m de wust kinder waiter. I most
know you ain’t ferget dat day in de stubble, when
you say you gwineter show me ol’ man Trouble.
Well, you ain’t only show ’im ter me, but you
made me shake han’s wid ’im. You sot de dry
grass afire, an’ burn me scandalious. Dat de
reason my back so rough, an’ dat de reason my
hide so tough. Well, I been a-waitin’ sence dat
time, an’ now here you is. You burn me twel I
hatter squench de burnin’ in de big quagmire.’
“Brer Yalligater laugh, but he had de laugh all
on his side, kaze dat wuz one er de times when
Brer Rabbit ain’t feel like gigglin’. He sot dar
a-shakin’ an’ a-shiverin’. Bimeby he ’low, sezee,
‘What you gwine do, Brer ’Gater?’ Brer Yalligater,
say, sezee, ‘It look like ter me dat sence
you sot de dry grass afire, I been havin’ symptoms.
Dat what de doctor say. He look at my
tongue, an’ feel er my pulsh, an’ shake his head.
He say dat bein’s he’s my frien’, he don’t mind
tellin’ me dat my symptoms is gittin’ mo’ wusser
dan what dey been, an’ ef I don’t take sump’n
I’ll be failin’ inter one deze yer inclines what
make folks flabby an’ weak.’
“Brer Rabbit, he shuck an’ he shiver’d. He
’low, sezee, ‘What else de doctor say, Brer
’Gater?’ Brer Yalligater keep on a-slippin’ along;
he say, sezee, ‘De doctor ain’t only look at my
tongue—he medjer’d my breff, an’ he hit me
on my bosom—tip-tap-tap!—an’ he say dey
ain’t but one thing dat’ll kyo me. I ax ’im what
dat is, an’ he say it’s Rabbit gizzard.’ Brer Yalligater
slip an’ slide along, an’ wait fer ter see
what Brer Rabbit gwineter say ter dat. He ain’t
had ter wait long, kaze Brer Rabbit done his
thinkin’ like one er deze yer machines what got
lightnin’ in it. He ’low, sezee, ‘It’s a mighty good
thing you struck up wid me dis day, Brer ’Gater,
kaze I got des perzackly de kinder physic what
you lookin’ fer. All de neighbors say I’m mighty
quare an’ I speck I is, but quare er not quare,
I’m long been lookin’ fer de gizzard-eater.’
“Brer Yalligater ain’t say nothin’; he des slide
thoo de water, an’ lissen ter what Brer Rabbit
sayin’. Brer Rabbit ’low, sezee, ‘De las’ time I
wuz tooken sick, de doctor come in a hurry, an’
he sot up wid me all night—not a wink er sleep
did dat man git. He say he kin tell by de way I
wuz gwine on, rollin’ an’ tossin’, an’ moanin’ an’
groanin’, dat dey wa’n’t no physic gwineter do
me no good. I ain’t never see no doctor scratch
his head like dat doctor did; he done like he wuz
stumped, he sho’ did. He say he ain’t never see
nobody wid my kind er trouble, an’ he went off
an’ call in one er his brer doctors, an’ de two
knock dey heads tergedder, an’ say my trouble
all come fum havin’ a double gizzard. When my
ol’ ’oman hear dat, she des flung her apron over
her head, an’ fell back in a dead faint, an’ a little
mo’ an’ I’d ’a’ had ter pay a doctor bill on her
accounts. When she squalled, some er my chillun
got skeer’d an’ tuck ter de woods, an’ dey ain’t all
got back when I lef’ home las’ night.’
“Brer Yalligater, he des went a-slippin’ long
thoo de water; he lissen, but he ain’t sayin’
nothin’. Brer Rabbit, he ’low, sezee, ‘It’s de
fatal trufe, all dis dat I’m a-tellin’ you. De
doctor, he flew’d roun’ twel he fotch my ol’
’oman to, an’ den he say dey ain’t no needs ter be
skittish on accounts er my havin’ a double gizzard,
kaze all I had ter do wuz ter be kinder keerful
wid my chawin’s an’ gnyawin’s, an’ my
comin’s an’ gwines. He say dat I’d hatter suffer
wid it twel I fin’ de gizzard-eater. I ax ’im whar
bouts is he, an’ he say dat I’d know him when I
seed him, an’ ef I fail ter know ’im, he’ll make
hisse’f beknown ter me. Dis kinder errytate me,
kaze when a man’s a doctor, an’ is got de idee er
kyoin’ anybody, dey ain’t no needs ter deal in no
riddles. But he say dat tain’t no use fer ter tell all
you know, speshually fo’ dinner.’
“Brer Yalligater went a-slidin’ long thoo de
water; he lissen an’ smack his mouf, but he ain’t
sayin’ nothin’. Brer Rabbit, he talk on; he ’low,
sezee, ‘An dey wuz one thing he tol’ me mo’
plainer dan all de rest. He say dat when anybody
wuz ’flicted wid de double gizzard, dey dassent
cross water wid it, kaze ef dey’s anything dat a
double gizzard won’t stan’ it’s de smell er
water.’
“Brer Yalligater went slippin’ long thoo de
water, but he feel like de time done come when
he bleeze ter say sump’n. He say, sezee, ‘How
come youer crossin’ water now, ef de doctor tell
you dat?’ Dis make Brer Rabbit laugh; he ’low,
‘Maybe I oughtn’t ter tell you, but fo’ I kin
cross water dat double gizzard got ter come out.
De doctor done tol’ me dat ef she ever smell
water, dey’ll be sech a swellin’ up dat my skin
won’t hol’ me; an’ no longer dan’ las’ night, ’fo’ I
come ter dis creek—’twuz a creek den, whatsomever
you may call it now—I tuck out my
double gizzard an’ hid it in a hick’ry holler. An’
ef youer de gizzard-eater, now is yo’ chance, kaze
ef you put it off, you may rue de day. Ef youer in
de notion I’ll take you right dar an’ show you de
stump whar I hid it at—er ef you wanter be
lonesome ’bout it, I’ll let you go by yo’se’f an’
I’ll stay right here.’
“Brer Yalligater, he slip an’ slide thoo de
water. He say, sezee, ‘Whar’d you say you’d
stay?’ Brer Rabbit ’low, sezee, ‘I’ll stay right
here, Brer ’Gater, er anywhar’s else you may
choosen; I don’t keer much whar I stays er what
I does, so long ez I get rid er dat double gizzard
what’s been a-tarrifyin’ me. You better go by
yo’se’f, kaze bad ez dat double gizzard is done
me, I got a kinder tendersome feelin’ fer it, an’
I’m fear’d ef I wuz ter go ’long wid you, an’ see
you grab it, dey’d be some boo-hooin’ done. Ef
you go by yo’se’f, des rap on de stump an’ say—Ef
youer ready, I’m ready an’ a little mo’ so, un’
you won’t have no trouble wid her. She’s hid
right in dem woods yander, an’ de holler hick’ry
stump ain’t so mighty fur fum whar de bank er
de creek oughter be.’
“Brer Rabbit make a big jump an’ lan’ on solid ground”
“Brer ’Gater ain’t got much mo’ sense dan
what it ’ud take fer ter clim’ a fence atter somebody
done pulled it down, an’ so he kinder
slew’d hisse’f aroun’, an’ steered fer de woods—de
same woods whar dey’s so many trees, an’
whar ol’ Sis Owl starts all de whirl-win’s by fannin’
her wings. Brer Yalligater swum an’ steered,
twel he come close ter lan’, an’ when he done dat
Brer Rabbit make a big jump an’ lan’ on solid
ground. He mought er got his feet wet, but ef he
did ’twuz ez much. He ’low, sezee—
“‘You po’ ol’ ’Gater, ef you know’d A fum Izzard,
You’d know mighty well dat I’d keep my Gizzard.’
An’ wid dat, he wuz done gone—done clean
gone!”