Being a professional woman, my requirements in the way of a housemaid
were rather special. While at times I can superintend my small
household, and direct my domestic affairs, there are long periods
during which I must have absolute quiet, untroubled by door bell,
telephone, or the remnants of roast beef.
There are two of us, in a modern six room apartment, in a city where
the servant problem has forced a large and ever-increasing percentage
of the population into small flats. We have late breakfasts, late
dinners, a great deal of company, and an amount of washing, both house
and personal, which is best described as “unholy.”
Five or six people often drop in informally, and unexpectedly, for
the evening, which means, of course, a midnight “spread,” and an
enormous pile of dishes to be washed in the morning. There are,
however, some advantages connected with the situation. We have a
laundress besides the maid; we have a twelve-o’clock breakfast on
Sunday instead of a dinner, getting the cold lunch ourselves in the
evening, thus giving the girl a long afternoon and evening; and we are
away from home a great deal, often staying weeks at a time.
The eternal “good wages to right party” of the advertisements was our
inducement also, but, apparently, there were no “right parties!”
The previous incumbent, having departed in a fit of temper at half an
hour’s notice, and left me, so to speak, “in the air,” with dinner
guests on the horizon a day ahead, I betook myself to an intelligence
office, where, strangely enough, there seems to be no intelligence,
and grasped the first chance of relief.
Nothing more unpromising could possibly be imagined. The new maid was
sad, ugly of countenance, far from strong physically, and in every way
hopeless and depressing. She listened, unemotionally, to my glowing
description of the situation. Finally she said, “Ay tank Ay try it.”
She came, looked us over, worked a part of a week, and announced that
she couldn’t stay. “Ay can’t feel like home here,” she said. “Ay am
not satisfied.”
She had been in her last place for three years, and left because “my’s
lady, she go to Europe.” I persuaded her to try it for a while longer,
and gave her an extra afternoon or two off, realising that she must be
homesick.
After keeping us on tenter-hooks for two weeks, she sent for her
trunk. I discovered that she was a fine laundress, carefully washing
and ironing the things which were too fine to go into the regular
wash; a most excellent cook, her kitchen and pantry were at all times
immaculate; she had no followers, and few friends; meals were ready
on the stroke of the hour, and she had the gift of management.
Offset to this was a furious temper, an atmosphere of gloom and
depression which permeated the house and made us feel funereal,
impertinence of a quality difficult to endure, and the callous,
unfeeling, almost inhuman characteristics which often belong in a high
degree to the Swedes.
For weeks I debated with myself whether or not I could stand it to
have her in the house. I have spent an hour on my own back porch, when
I should have been at work, because I was afraid to pass through the
room which she happened to be cleaning. Times without number, a crisp
muffin, or a pot of perfect coffee, has made me postpone speaking the
fateful words which would have separated us. She sighed and groaned
and wept at her work, worried about it, and was a fiend incarnate if
either of us was five minutes late for dinner. We often hurried
through the evening meal so as to leave her free for her evening out,
even though I had long since told her not to wash the dishes after
dinner, but to pile them neatly in the sink and leave them until
morning.
Before long, however, the strictly human side of the problem began to
interest me. I had cherished lifelong theories in regard to the
brotherhood of man and the uplifting power of personal influence. I
had at times been tempted to try settlement work, and here I had a
settlement subject in my own kitchen.
There was not a suggestion of fault with the girl’s work. She kept her
part of the contract, and did it well; but across the wall between us,
she glared at—and hated—me.
But, deliberately, I set to work in defence of my theory. I ignored
the impertinence, and seemingly did not hear the crash of dishes and
the banging of doors. When it came to an issue, I said calmly, though
my soul quaked within me: “You are not here to tell me what you will
do and what you won’t. You are here to carry out my orders, and when
you cannot, it is time for you to go.”
If she asked me a question about her work which I could not answer
offhand, I secretly consulted a standard cook-book, and later gave her
the desired information airily. I taught her to cook many of the
things which I could cook well, and imbued her with a sort of sneaking
respect for my knowledge. Throughout, I treated her with the perfect
courtesy which one lady accords to another, ignoring the impertinence.
I took pains to say “please” and “thank you.” Many a time I bit my
lips tightly against my own rising rage, and afterward in calmness
recognised a superior opportunity for self-discipline.
For three or four months, while the beautiful theory wavered in the
balance, we fought—not outwardly, but beneath the surface. Daily, I
meditated a summary discharge, dissuaded only by an immaculate house
and perfectly cooked breakfasts and dinners. I still cherished a
lingering belief in personal influence, in spite of the wall which
reared itself between us.
A small grey kitten, with wobbly legs and an infantile mew, made the
first breach in the wall. She took care of it, loved it, petted it,
and began to smile semi-occasionally. She, too, said “please” and
“thank you.” My husband suggested that we order ten kittens, but I let
the good work go on with one, for the time being. Gradually, I learned
that the immovable exterior was the natural protection against an
abnormal sensitiveness both to praise and blame. Besides the cat, she
had two other “weak spots”—an unswerving devotion to a widowed sister
with two children, whom she partially supported, and a love for
flowers almost pathetic.
As I could, without seeming to make a point of it, I sent things to
the sister and the children—partially worn curtains, bits of ribbons,
little toys, and the like. I made her room as pretty and dainty as my
own, though the furnishings were not so expensive, and gave her a
potted plant in a brass jar. When flowers were sent to me, I gave her
a few for the vase in her room. She began to say “we” instead of
“you.” She spoke of “our” spoons, or “our” table linen. She asked,
what shall “we” do about this or that? what shall “we” have for
dinner? instead of “what do you want?” She began to laugh when she
played with the kitten, and even to sing at her work.
When she did well, I praised her, as I had all along, but instead of
saying, “Iss dat so?” when I remarked that the muffins were delicious
or the dessert a great success, her face began to light up, and a
smile take the place of the impersonal comment. The furious temper
began to wane, or, at least, to be under better control. Guests
occasionally inquired, “What have you done to that maid of yours?”
Five times we have left her, for one or two months at a time, on full
salary, with unlimited credit at the grocery, and with from fifty to
one hundred dollars in cash. During the intervals we heard nothing
from her. We have returned each time to an immaculate house, a
smiling maid, a perfectly cooked and nicely served meal, and an
account correct to a penny, with vouchers to show for it, of the sum
with which she had been intrusted.
I noticed each time a vast pride in the fact that she had been so
trusted, and from this developed a gratifying loyalty to the
establishment. I had told her once to ask her sister and children to
spend the day with her while we were gone. It seems that the children
were noisy, and the lady in the apartment below us came up to object.
An altercation ensued, ending with a threat from the lady downstairs
to “tell Mrs. M. when she came home.” Annie told me herself, with
flashing eyes and shaking hands. I said, calmly: “The children must
have been noisy, or she would not have complained. You are used to
them, and besides it would sound worse downstairs than up here. But it
doesn’t amount to anything, for I had told you you could have the
children here, and if I hadn’t been able to trust you I wouldn’t have
left you.” Thus the troubled waters were calmed.
The crucial test of her qualities came when I entered upon a long
period of exhaustive effort. The first day, we both had a hard time,
as her highly specialised Baptist conscience would not permit her to
say I was “not at home,” when I was merely writing a book. After she
thoroughly understood that I was not to be disturbed unless the house
took fire, further quiet being insured by disconnecting the doorbell
and muffling the telephone, things went swimmingly.
“Annie,” I said, “I want you to run this house until I get through
with my book. Here is a hundred dollars to start with. Don’t let
anybody disturb me.” She took it with a smile, and a cheerful “all
right.”
From that moment to the end, I had even less care than I should have
had in a well-equipped hotel. Not a sound penetrated my solitude. If I
went out for a drink of water, she did not speak to me. We had
delicious dinners and dainty breakfasts which might have waited for
us, but we never waited a moment for them. She paid herself regularly
every Monday morning, kept all receipts, sent out my husband’s
laundry, kept a strict list of it, mended our clothes, managed our
household as economically as I myself could have done it, and, best of
all, insured me from any sort of interruption with a sort of fierce
loyalty which is beyond any money value.
Once I overheard a colloquy at my front door, which was briefly and
decisively terminated thus: “Ay already tell you dat you not see
her! She says to me, ‘Annie, you keep dose peoples off from me,’ and
Ay keep dem off!” I never have known what dear friend was thus
turned away from my inhospitable door.
Fully appreciating my blessings, the night I finished my work I went
into the kitchen with a crisp, new, five-dollar bill. “Annie,” I said,
“here is a little extra money for you. You’ve been so nice about the
house while I’ve been busy.”
She opened her eyes wide, and stared. “You don’t have to do dat,” she
said.
“I know I don’t,” I laughed, “but I like to do it.”
“You don’t have to do dat,” she repeated. “Ay like to do de
housekeeping.”
“I know,” I said again, “and I like to do this. You’ve done lots of
things for me you didn’t have to do. Why shouldn’t I do something for
you?”
At that she took it, offering me a rough wet hand, which I took
gravely. “Tank you,” she said, and the tears rolled down her cheeks.
“You’ve earned it,” I assured her, “and you deserve it, and I’m very
glad I can give it to you.”
From that hour she has been welded to me in a bond which I fondly hope
is indestructible. She laughs and sings at her work, pets her beloved
kitten, and diffuses through my six rooms the atmosphere of good
cheer. She “looks after me,” anticipates my wishes, and dedicates to
me a continual loyal service which has no equivalent in dollars and
cents. She asked me, hesitatingly, if she might not get some one to
fill her place for three months while she went back to Sweden. I
didn’t like the idea, but I recognised her well-defined right.
“Ay not go,” she said, “if you not want me to. Ay tell my sister dat I
want to stay wid Mrs. M. until she send me away.”
I knew she would have to go some time before she settled down to
perpetual residence in an alien land, so I bade her God-speed. She
secured the substitute and instructed her, arranged the matter of
wages, and vouched for her honesty, but not for her work.
Before she left the city, I found that the substitute was hopelessly
incompetent and stupid. When Annie came to say “good-bye” to me, I
told her about the new girl. She broke down and wept. “Ay sorry Ay try
to go,” she sobbed. “Ay tell my sister dere iss nobody what can take
care of Mrs. M. lak Ay do!”
I was quite willing to agree with her, but I managed to dry her tears.
Discovering that she expected to spend two nights in a day coach, and
remembering one dreadful night when I could get no berth, I gave her
the money for a sleeping-car ticket both ways, as a farewell gift. The
tears broke forth afresh. “You been so good to me and to my sister,”
she sobbed. “Ay can’t never forget dat!”
“Cheer up,” I answered, wiping the mist from my own eyes. “Go on, and
have the best time you ever had in your life, and don’t worry about
me—I’ll get along somehow. And if you need money while you are away,
write to me, and I’ll send you whatever you need. We’ll fix it up
afterward.”
Once again she looked at me, with the strangest look I have ever seen
on the human face.
“Tank you,” she said slowly. “Dere iss not many ladies would say dat.”
“Perhaps not,” I replied, “but, remember, Annie, I can trust you.”
“Yes,” she cried, her face illumined as by some great inward light,
“you can trust me!”
I do not think she loves us yet, but I believe in time she will.
The day the new girl came, I happened to overhear a much valued
reference to myself: “Honestly,” she said, “Ay been here more dan one
year, and Ay never hear a wrong word between her and him, nor between
her and me. It’s shust wonderful. Ay isn’t been see anyting like it
since Ay been in diss country.”
“Is it so wonderful?” I asked myself, as I stole away, my own heart
aglow with the consciousness of a moral victory, “and is the lack of
self-control and human kindness at the bottom of the American servant
problem? Are we women such children that we cannot deal wisely with
our intellectual inferiors?” And more than all I had given her, as I
realised then for the first time, was the power of self-discipline
and self-control which she, all unknowingly, had developed in me.
I have not ceased the “treatment,” even though the patient is nearly
well. It costs me nothing to praise her when she deserves it, to take
an occasional friend into her immaculate kitchen, and to show the
shining white pantry shelves (without papers), while she blushes and
smiles with pleasure. It costs me nothing to see that she overhears me
while I tell a friend over the telephone how capable she has been
during the stress of my work, or how clean the house is when we come
home after a long absence. It costs me nothing to send her out for a
walk, or a visit to a nearby friend, on the afternoons when her work
is finished and I am to be at home—nothing to call her attention to a
beautiful sunset or a perfect day, or to tell her some amusing story
that her simple mind can appreciate. It costs me nothing to tell her
how well she looks in her cap and apron (only I call the cap a
“hair-bow”), nor that one of the guests said she made the best cake
she had ever eaten in her life.
It costs me little to give her a pretty hatpin, or some other girlish
trifle at Easter, to bring her some souvenir of our travels, to give
her a fresh ribbon for her belt from my bolt, or some little toy “for
de children.”
It means only a thought to say when she goes out, “Good-bye! Have a
good time!” or to say when I go out, “Good-bye! Be good!” It means
little to me to tell her how much my husband or our guests have
enjoyed the dinner, or to have him go into the kitchen sometimes,
while she is surrounded by a mountain of dishes, with a cheery word
and a fifty-cent piece.
It isn’t much out of my way to do a bit of shopping for her when I am
shopping for myself, and no trouble at all to plan for her new gowns,
or to tell her that her new hat is very pretty and becoming.
When her temper gets the better of her these days, I can laugh her out
of it. “To think,” I said once, “of a fine, capable girl like you
flying into a rage because some one has borrowed your clothesline
without asking for it!”
The clouds vanished with a smile. “Dat iss funny of me,” she said.
When her work goes wrong, as of course it sometimes does, though
rarely, and she is worrying for fear I shall be displeased, I say:
“Never mind, Annie; things don’t always go right for any of us. Don’t
worry about it, but be careful next time.”
It has cost me time and effort and money, and an infinite amount of
patience and tact, not to mention steady warfare with myself, but in
return, what have I? A housemaid, as nearly perfect, perhaps, as they
can ever be on this faulty earth, permanently in my service, as I hope
and believe.
If any one offers her higher wages, I shall meet the “bid,” for she is
worth as much to me as she can be to any one else. Besides giving me
superior service, she has done me a vast amount of good in furnishing
me the needed material for the development of my character.
On her own ground, she respects my superior knowledge. Once or twice I
have heard her say of some friend, “Her’s lady, she know nodding at
all about de housekeeping—no, nodding at all!”
The airy contempt of the tone is quite impossible to describe.
A neighbour whom she assisted in a time of domestic stress, during my
absence, told me amusedly of her reception in her own kitchen. “You
don’t have to come all de time to de kitchen to tell me,” remarked
Annie.
“Doesn’t Mrs. M. do that?” queried my neighbour, lightly.
“Ay should say not,” returned the capable one, indignantly. “She nefer
come in de kitchen, and she know, too!”
While that was not literally true, because I do go into my kitchen if
I want to, and cook there if I like, I make a point of not intruding.
She knows what she is to do, and I leave her to do it, in peace and
comfort.
Briefly summarised, the solution from my point of view is this. Know
her work yourself, down to the last detail; pay the wages which other
people would be glad to pay for the same service; keep your temper,
and, in the face of everything, be kind! Remember that housework is
hard work—that it never stays done—that a meal which it takes half a
day to prepare is disposed of in half an hour. Remember, too, that it
requires much intelligence and good judgment to be a good cook, and
that the daily tasks lack inspiration. The hardest part of housework
must be done at a time when many other people are free for rest and
enjoyment, and it carries with it a social bar sinister when it is
done for money. The woman who does it for her board and clothes, in
her own kitchen, does not necessarily lose caste, but doing it for a
higher wage, in another’s kitchen, makes one almost an outcast.
Strange and unreasonable, but true.
It was at my own suggestion that she began to leave the dishes piled
up in the sink until morning. When the room is otherwise immaculate, a
tray of neatly piled plates, even if unwashed, does not disturb my
æsthetic sense.
Ordinarily, she is free for the evening at half-past seven or a
quarter of eight—always by eight. Her evenings are hers, not
mine,—unless I pay her extra, as I always do. A dollar or so counts
for nothing in the expense of an entertainment, and she both earns and
deserves the extra wage.
If I am to entertain twenty or thirty people—the house will hold no
more, and I cannot ask more than ten to dinner—I consult with her,
decide upon the menu, tell her that she can have all the help she
needs, and go my ways in peace. I can order the flowers, decorate the
table, put on my best gown, and receive my guests, unwearied, with an
easy mind.
When I am not expecting guests, I can leave the house immediately
after breakfast, without a word about dinner, and return to the right
sort of a meal at seven o’clock, bringing a guest or two with me, if I
telephone first.
I can work for six weeks or two months in a seclusion as perfect as I
could have in the Sahara Desert, and my household, meanwhile, will
move as if on greased skids. I can go away for two months and hear
nothing from her, and yet know that everything is all right at home. I
think no more about it, so far as responsibility is concerned, when I
am travelling, than as if I had no home at all. When we leave the
apartment alone in the evening, we turn on the most of the lights,
being assured by the police that burglars will never molest a
brilliantly illuminated house.
The morose countenance of my ugly maid has subtly changed. It
radiates, in its own way, beauty and good cheer. Her harsh voice is
gentle, her manner is kind, her tastes are becoming refined, her ways
are those of a lady.
My friends and neighbours continually allude to the transformation as
“a miracle.” The janitor remarked, in a burst of confidence, that he
“never saw anybody change so.” He “reckoned,” too, that “it must be
the folks she lives with!” Annie herself, conscious of a change,
recently said complacently: “Ay guess Ay wass one awful crank when Ay
first come here.”
And so it happens that the highest satisfaction is connected with the
beautiful theory, triumphantly proven now, against heavy odds.
Whatever else I may have done, I have taught one woman the workman’s
pride in her work, shown her where true happiness lies, and set her
feet firmly on the path of right and joyous living.