THE PROFESSOR’S WARNING
“Say, Cap, don’t you think things are rather slow, not
to say dreary around here?” asked Bob Chapin a few
days after the ball game, as he strolled into the elder
Smith lad’s room, and appropriated the easiest chair.
“It’s the spring fever or the summer sleeping sickness
coming on, I’m sure.”
“What’s up now, Bob?” asked Bill, as he tossed aside
his chemistry, glad of an excuse to stop studying.
“What Bob needs is to train for the eleven or get into
a baseball uniform,” added Pete. “He’s getting fat and
lazy, and he hasn’t any interest in life.”
“Get out!” cried the visitor, who did not go in for
athletics, and who preferred to be considered a “Sport,”
with a capital “S,” wearing good clothes and spending all
his spare time in a town billiard parlor. “You get out,
Pete. Didn’t I try for the glee club?”
“Yes, but you were too lazy to practice,” remarked Cap
frankly.
“How brutal of you!” cried Chapin, with a mock theatrical
air. “Didn’t I even forgive my enemies and beg
them to take me into the banjo club?”
“Which, for the good of the service, they refused to
do,” went on the elder Smith.
“Oh, have you no mercy?” asked the visitor in a high
falsetto voice, striking an attitude.
“We’re all out of it—expect a fresh lot in next week,”
answered Bill. Then after a pause he added: “Now
there’s a thing you could do, Bob.”
“What’s that?”
“Go in for theatricals. Why don’t you join the Paint
and Powder club?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Afraid of spoiling my complexion
with burnt cork and grease preparations, I guess,” was
the indolent reply. “But I don’t want to discuss myself.
I was asking if you fellows didn’t find it dull here? Why,
there hasn’t been a thing pulled off since we brought the
calf into the ancient history class two weeks ago. It
is frightfully dull at Westfield. Don’t you think so,
really?”
“Hadn’t noticed it,” replied Cap. “What with baseball
practice, and digging and boning and lectures and writing
home occasionally for money we manage to exist; eh
fellows?”
“Sure!” chorused his brothers.
“Well, I say it’s dull,” went on Chapin. “Now you
fellows used to cut up some, when you first came, but you’d
think you had all reformed the way you’ve been keeping
quiet lately.”
“There’s nothing to do,” complained Bill, in whom the
spirit of mischief burned more strongly than in his
brothers. “Show us a good lively time and we’ll be in on
it.”
“I can’t show it to you,” replied Chapin. “You’ve got
to make it for yourselves.”
“Well, I’ll do my share,” went on Bill eagerly. “Why,
is there something up?”
“Now, Bill, you haven’t any time to undertake any
pranks you know,” admonished Cap, but his voice was not
at all commanding, and there was a gleam of interest in
his eyes.
“Yes, cut out the funny business,” added Bill. “But
what is it, anyhow, Bob? No harm in telling; is there?”
“Sure not. I was just wishing a racket would break
loose, and I happened to think of something a while ago.
It would take some nerve to do it though, and maybe you
fellows—”
He paused significantly—temptingly.
“Say, who says we haven’t got the nerve?” demanded
Bill quickly.
“Now, Bill go easy,” advised his older brother, but he,
too, looked interested.
“Oh, well, certainly you have the nerve,” admitted
Chapin. “But it’s risky.”
“Are you willing to go in on it?” asked Pete quickly.
“Of course,” was the instant rejoinder.
“Then name your game!” came from Bill, “and you’ll
find us right behind you up to the muzzle of the cannon.
Out with it!”
“Oh, I wish you’d stayed away,” spoke Cap. “I’m
back in my trigonometry, and if I flunk—Well, I suppose
we may as well hear what you’ve got up your sleeve,” and
he laid aside his book, with a laugh and a half-protesting
shake of his head.
Bob’s first act was to go over to the door of Cap’s room,
in which the gathering took place, and see that the portal
was tightly closed. Then he listened at the keyhole.
“Is it perfectly safe?” he asked in a whisper. “Can
anyone hear us?”
“Say, what are we up against?” asked Cap with a
laugh. “Is this a gunpowder plot, or merely a scheme
to burn the old school.”
“Listen, and I will a tale unfold,” went on Chapin.
“Gather ’round, my children, gather ’round the camp-fire
and Anthony shall tell us one of his famous stories. So
they gathered ’round—”
“Oh, get along with it—we’ve got to do some boning to-night,
Bob,” complained Pete. “We’ve heard that camp-fire
joke before.”
“Do you know the bronze statue of ‘Pop’ Weston in
front of the school?” asked the visitor in a stage whisper.
“Do we know it? The statue of the founder of Westfield?
Well I should bust a bat but we do,” answered
Bill.
“What do you think of the color of it?” asked Chapin.
“What do you mean?” Cap wanted to know.
“I mean wouldn’t it look prettier red or blue or pink,
than the shade it is now?”
He paused to look at the three brothers. They did not
answer for a moment. Then Bill exclaimed:
“Say, is that what you mean—to paint the statue?”
Chapin nodded slowly.
“It’s—sacrilege,” whispered Cap.
“Only an iconoclast would dare think of such a thing,”
declared Bill. “But—” there was an eager light in his
eyes.
“It was done once, years ago,” proceeded the tempter,
“and the whole Freshman class was suspended for a week,
as the faculty couldn’t find out who did it. It has been
many, many, weary years since such an honor fell upon us
Freshmen,” and he sighed deeply, as though in pain.
“By Jove!” exclaimed Cap softly. The daring plot
appealed to him, conservative as he was.
“How did they get the paint off?” asked Pete.
“It had to wear off,” replied Chapin. “But I don’t
want to do anything like that. We can use water colors,
and they won’t spoil the bronze, and really it would
be a little too rotten to make such a mess of it. Just tint
it a light Alice blue, or a dainty Helen pink—it will wash
off, but it will look pretty for a while, and the freshmen
class will have made a name for itself that it can be
proud of. Are you with me? It can easily be done, and
the chances are we won’t be caught. How about it?”
“I’ll do it!” exclaimed Bill quickly.
“I don’t know,” began Cap.
“Oh, come on,” urged Pete. “It’s been a long time
since we’ve had any fun.”
“If we’re caught, it means good-bye to balls and bats,”
went on the eldest brother.
“But we won’t be caught,” declared Chapin eagerly.
“Besides, what if we are—that’s half the fun.”
“All right, go ahead,” agreed Cap. “Might as well be
killed for a sheep as a lamb, I guess. I’m in on it.”
“Now about the paint,” went on the tempter, as he
again listened at the door. “We’ll have to be careful
where we get it, as McNibb is a regular detective for following
a clue. It ought to be bought out of town.”
“That’s so,” agreed Pete.
“Hold on, I have it!” cried Bill, after a moment’s
thought. “Professor Clatter.”
“Professor Clatter?” inquired Chapin. “You mean
that medicine man with his queer wagon?”
“Exactly,” went on the pitcher. “I saw him in town
the other day, and he said he was coming back to play a
return engagement near here. He’s got some new kind of
stomach dope or something like that. Besides, he has
some patent face powder that he says he got at a bargain,
and he’s going to try and work it off on the ladies in the
crowd. It’s a beautiful pink, and it’s harmless. I was
looking at a box of it, and it got on my hands. Say, for
a few minutes I had the nicest baby complexion you’d
want to see. But it all washed off as easily as soap.”
“Well, what’s the answer?” asked Chapin, as Bill
paused.
“Why we’ll get some of that powder from the professor,
mix it up, and use it on the statute. It will come off
easily and I defy Proctor McNibb to trace where it came
from. The professor is a friend of ours, and he’ll keep
mum.”
“The very thing!” cried the visitor. “When can you
get it?”
“To-morrow, or next day,” answered Bill, who had now
entered heart and soul into the piece of mischief. “I’ll
get enough to give Pop Weston a liberal coating.”
“Night after to-morrow,” mused Chapin, looking at a
calendar over Cap’s table. “That will do. There’s no
moon. What about brushes?”
“I guess a whitewash one will do. Maybe the professor
has one—or a big sponge, such as he uses for cleaning
his wagon.”
“Fine!” cried Chapin. “Oh, I can just see the faculty
when they file past the bronze statue, done to a beautiful
baby pink! Great! No more will the lordly Seniors
boast of having once run a dump cart into the class room.
The Sophs with their little trick of putting tar on the
bell tower will take a back seat, and the Juniors, whose
stronghold, so far, has been the horrible task of burning
red fire under Prexy’s windows, will be green with envy.
Oh, what a lucky day this has been!”
“It isn’t over yet,” remarked Cap significantly.
“Well, I’ll see Clatter and get the stuff,” promised Bill.
“Then we’ll meet and do the decorating. How many are
in on it?” asked the pitcher, pausing in his planning.
“We don’t want too many,” spoke Chapin cautiously.
“Us four perhaps, Bondy and Whistle-Breeches if you like,
as they’re on this corridor.”
“Not Bondy,” said Pete quickly. “We’ll let Whistle-Breeches
in, but Guilder isn’t in our set. He wouldn’t
come if we asked him, and we’re not going to. Besides,
he might squeal.”
“Well, five are enough,” said Chapin. “Now I’ll depend
on you to get the paint, Bill.”
“And I’ll get it.”
“Fare thee well, then,” and with another cautious listening
at the door, Chapin took himself out.
“Well?” asked Cap, of his brothers a little later, when
they had sat in silence pondering over the plan.
“It’s all to the red-pepper,” declared Bill. “We need
something to wake us up.”
“I guess this will prevent dreams for some time,” observed
the eldest Smith.
“It’ll be a scream of a nightmare when the faculty
sees it,” came from Pete, “but there’s no harm in it as
long as the paint washes off.”
With many nods and winks Chapin recalled to the three
brothers, and to Whistle-Breeches, next morning the plot
they had made. Whistle-Breeches had been let into it
early in the day, and had eagerly agreed to do his share.
They would need ropes with which to mount to the top of
the big statue, and Anderson had agreed to procure them.
“I can climb, too,” he said, “and I’ll decorate the top
part.”
“Good for you, Whistle-Breeches!” exclaimed Pete.
It was that same afternoon that Bill saw Bob Chapin
in close conversation with Mersfeld and Jonas North.
It was the first time he had noticed that Chapin was
chummy with the Varsity regular pitcher, and with the
lad who, because of his bullying tactics was generally
shunned, except by his own crowd.
“I hope Bob doesn’t talk too much about the statue
business,” reflected Bill. “Too many cooks make the hash
taste burned. It might leak out.”
Then, as he was summoned to practice he gave the
matter no more thought until that evening, when he set
off alone to see Professor Clatter, and get the pink paint.
Pete and Cap wanted to accompany him, but Bill declared
that there was safety in small numbers, and that he
preferred to go alone.
He found his old friend getting ready for an evening
performance, filling his gasoline torches, looking over his
stock of supplies, and tuning the banjo with which, and his
not unmelodious voice, he drew a throng about the gaily
painted wagon.
“Ha, my young friend, back again!” cried the professor.
“Greetings to you. And where are the brothers?”
“Studying, I expect, or making a pretense to.”
“Good again! Ah, the lamp of learning burns brightly
when one is young. What ho! Mercurio! Some more
gasoline for this torch! We must have light!” Then the
professor having ordered about an imaginary slave, proceeded
to fill the torch himself.
“Speaking of lamps of learning,” broke in Bill, thinking
this was a good time to announce his errand, “we’re
going to do a little illumination over at Westfield on our
own account. How much of that pink paint have you,
Professor?”
“Pink paint—you mean my Matchless Complexion
Tinting Residuum?”
“I guess that’s it. We need some.”
“For a masked ball?”
“For a bronze statue,” replied Bill, and he proceeded
to relate the details of the plot. The professor listened
carefully. Bill told everything, and at length the traveling
vendor asked:
“Did you and your brothers think of this scheme, Bill?”
“No, as a matter of fact Bob Chapin proposed it.”
“Ah, I suppose he is one of the leading spirits when
it comes to these plots of—er—innocent mischief?”
“No, I never knew him to get up anything of the kind
before. And that’s the funny part of it. He never takes
a hand in ’em. But now he comes to us with the idea,
and he’s going to help carry it out. I never knew he had
gumption enough to break out this way. It’s a good one,
though.”
“And doesn’t it strike you as odd that he suddenly
breaks out now?” asked the professor in rather a curious
voice.
“Odd? Dow do you mean?”
“I mean do you think he had any object in it?”
“Object in it?”
“Yes, to get you boys interested and—”
“Why, he’s interested himself. He’s going to help decorate
Pop Weston.”
“I know, but you say he never did anything of the kind
before,” objected Mr. Clatter, looking sharply at Bill.
“No.”
“And isn’t it rather late in the college year for him to
begin?”
“It is—say, look here, Professor Clatter! Do you
know anything about this?” demanded Bill.
“No, only what my common sense tells me. But I
gather that there is some feeling against you because of
baseball matters.”
“A little—yes, Mersfeld is sore, but—”
“Wait a minute. Now, if some of your enemies could
get you into a game like this, and then desert you, and
let the whole blame fall on you, or, even, we’ll say, tip
off the college authorities, to use a slang term—wouldn’t
they make trouble for you.”
“Yes, they would, but—”
“Is this Bob Chapin a particular friend of yours?”
“Not particularly.”
“Is he in with this Mersfeld?”
“No, not any more than—By Jove!” Bill checked himself
suddenly. The remembrance of Chapin talking
earnestly to Mersfeld and North came back to him.
“Ah!” exclaimed the professor knowingly, as he rubbed
his hands. “I fancy we are getting at something. Now
if our friend Tithonus Somnus were here we would get
him to read the stars for us, but, in his absence I’ll venture
to give you a bit of advice, Bill.”
“What is it, Mr. Clatter.”
“You may consider this in the light of a warning,”
went on the medicine vendor earnestly. “Don’t have anything
to do with the trick of painting the statue, Bill;
or if you do—”
He paused significantly.
“Well, if we do?” repeated Bill.
“If you do, then play the double cross, and catch your
enemies in the net they have spread for you,” was the reply
in a low voice.
Bill started, and, as he did so there came a cautious
knock at the door of the wagon.
“Who’s there?” asked the professor quickly.
“It’s me—Tithonus,” was the answer in a hoarse whisper.
“Let me in—quick! The police are after me!”