I
Washington, Monday forenoon, Dec. 29, 1862. Dear, dear Mother—Friday
the 19th inst. I succeeded in reaching the camp of the 51st New York, and
found George[1] alive and well. In order to make sure that you would get
the good news, I sent back by messenger to Washington a telegraphic
dispatch (I dare say you did not get it for some time) as well as a
letter—and the same to Hannah[2] at Burlington. I have staid in camp with
George ever since, till yesterday, when I came back to Washington, about
the 24th. George got Jeff’s[3] letter of the 20th. Mother, how much you
must have suffered, all that week, till George’s letter came—and all the
rest must too. As to me, I know I put in about three days of the greatest
suffering I ever experienced in my life. I wrote to Jeff how I had my
pocket picked in a jam and hurry, changing cars, at Philadelphia—so that
I landed here without a dime. The next two days I spent hunting through
the hospitals, walking day and night, unable to ride, trying to get
information—trying to get access to big people, etc.—I could not get
the least clue to anything. Odell would not see me at all. But Thursday
afternoon, I lit on a way to get down on the Government boat that runs to
Aquia creek, and so by railroad to the neighborhood of Falmouth, opposite
Fredericksburg—so by degrees I worked my way to Ferrero’s[4] brigade,
which I found Friday afternoon without much trouble after I got in camp.
When I found dear brother George, and found that he was alive and well, O
you may imagine how trifling all my little cares and difficulties
seemed—they vanished into nothing. And now that I have lived for eight or
nine days amid such scenes as the camps furnish, and had a practical part
in it all, and realize the way that hundreds of thousands of good men are
now living, and have had to live for a year or more, not only without any
of the comforts, but with death and sickness and hard marching and hard
fighting (and no success at that) for their continual experience—really
nothing we call trouble seems worth talking about. One of the first things
that met my eyes in camp was a heap of feet, arms, legs, etc., under a
tree in front of a hospital, the Lacy house.
George is very well in health, has a good appetite—I think he is at times
more wearied out and homesick than he shows, but stands it upon the whole
very well. Every one of the soldiers, to a man, wants to get home.
I suppose Jeff got quite a long letter I wrote, from camp, about a week
ago. I told you that George had been promoted to captain—his commission
arrived while I was there. When you write, address, Capt. George W.
Whitman, Co. K., 51st New York Volunteers, Ferrero’s brigade, near
Falmouth, Va. Jeff must write oftener, and put in a few lines from mother,
even if it is only two lines—then in the next letter a few lines from
Mat, and so on. You have no idea how letters from home cheer one up in
camp, and dissipate homesickness.
While I was there George still lived in Capt. Francis’s tent—there were
five of us altogether, to eat, sleep, write, etc., in a space twelve feet
square, but we got along very well—the weather all along was very
fine—and would have got along to perfection, but Capt. Francis is not a
man I could like much—I had very little to say to him. George is about
building a place, half hut and half tent, for himself, (he is probably
about it this very day,) and then he will be better off, I think. Every
captain has a tent, in which he lives, transacts company business, etc.,
has a cook, (or a man of all work,) and in the same tent mess and sleep
his lieutenants, and perhaps the first sergeant. They have a kind of
fire-place—and the cook’s fire is outside on the open ground. George had
very good times while Francis was away—the cook, a young disabled
soldier, Tom, is an excellent fellow and a first-rate cook, and the second
lieutenant, Pooley, is a tip-top young Pennsylvanian. Tom thinks all the
world of George; when he heard he was wounded, on the day of the battle,
he left everything, got across the river, and went hunting for George
through the field, through thick and thin. I wrote to Jeff that George was
wounded by a shell, a gash in the cheek—you could stick a splint through
into the mouth, but it has healed up without difficulty already.
Everything is uncertain about the army, whether it moves or stays where it
is. There are no furloughs granted at present. I will stay here for the
present, at any rate long enough to see if I can get any employment at
anything, and shall write what luck I have. Of course I am unsettled at
present. Dear mother; my love.
Walt.
If Jeff or any writes, address me, care of Major Hapgood, paymaster, U. S.
A. Army, Washington, D. C. I send my love to dear sister Mat,[5] and
little Sis[6]—and to
Andrew[7] and all my brothers. O Mat, how lucky it
was you did not come—together, we could never have got down to see
George.
II
Washington, Friday morning, Jan. 2, 1863. Dear Sister[8]—You have heard
of my fortunes and misfortunes of course, (through my letters to mother
and Jeff,) since I left home that Tuesday afternoon. But I thought I would
write a few lines to you, as it is a comfort to write home, even if I have
nothing particular to say. Well, dear sister, I hope you are well and
hearty, and that little Sis[9] keeps as well as she always had, when I
left home so far. Dear little plague, how I would like to have her with
me, for one day; I can fancy I see her, and hear her talk. Jeff must have
got a note from me about a letter I have written to the Eagle—you may
be sure you will get letters enough from me, for I have little else to do
at present. Since I laid my eyes on dear brother George, and saw him alive
and well—and since I have spent a week in camp, down there opposite
Fredericksburg, and seen what well men, and sick men, and mangled men
endure—it seems to me I can be satisfied and happy henceforward if I can
get one meal a day, and know that mother and all are in good health, and
especially be with you again, and have some little steady paying
occupation in N. Y. or Brooklyn.
I am writing this in the office of Major Hapgood, way up in the top of a
big high house, corner of 15th and F street; there is a splendid view,
away down south of the Potomac river, and across to the Georgetown side,
and the grounds and houses of Washington spread out beneath my high point
of view. The weather is perfect—I have had that in my favor ever since
leaving home—yesterday and to-day it is bright, and plenty warm enough.
The poor soldiers are continually coming in from the hospitals, etc., to
get their pay—some of them waiting for it to go home. They climb up here,
quite exhausted, and then find it is no good, for there is no money to pay
them; there are two or three paymasters’ desks in this room, and the
scenes of disappointment are quite affecting. Here they wait in
Washington, perhaps week after week, wretched and heart-sick—this is the
greatest place of delays and puttings off, and no finding the clue to
anything. This building is the paymaster-general’s quarters, and the
crowds on the walk and corner of poor, sick, pale, tattered soldiers are
awful—many of them day after day disappointed and tired out. Well, Mat, I
will suspend my letter for the present, and go through the city—I have a
couple of poor fellows in the hospital to visit also.
Walt.
Saturday evening, Jan. 3 [1863.] I write this in the place where I have
my lodging-room, 394 L street, 4th door above 14th street. A friend of
mine, William D. O’Connor,[10] has two apartments on the 3rd floor, very
ordinarily furnished, for which he pays the extraordinary price of $25 a
month. I have a werry little bedroom on the 2nd floor. Mr. and Mrs.
O’Connor and their little girl have all gone out “down town” for an hour
or two, to make some Saturday evening purchases, and I am left in
possession of the premises—so I sit by the fire, and scribble more of my
letter. I have not heard anything from dear brother George since I left
the camp last Sunday morning, 28th Dec. I wrote to him on Tuesday last. I
wish to get to him the two blue woolen shirts Jeff sent, as they would
come very acceptable to him—and will try to do it yet. I think of sending
them by mail, if the postage is not more than $1.
Yesterday I went out to the Campbell hospital to see a couple of Brooklyn
boys, of the 51st. They knew I was in Washington, and sent me a note, to
come and see them. O my dear sister, how your heart would ache to go
through the rows of wounded young men, as I did—and stopt to speak a
comforting word to them. There were about 100 in one long room, just a
long shed neatly whitewashed inside. One young man was very much
prostrated, and groaning with pain. I stopt and tried to comfort him. He
was very sick. I found he had not had any medical attention since he was
brought there; among so many he had been overlooked; so I sent for the
doctor, and he made an examination of him. The doctor behaved very
well—seemed to be anxious to do right—said that the young man would
recover; he had been brought pretty low with diarrhœa, and now had
bronchitis, but not so serious as to be dangerous. I talked to him some
time—he seemed to have entirely given up, and lost heart—he had not a
cent of money—not a friend or acquaintance. I wrote a letter from him to
his sister—his name is John A. Holmes, Campello, Plymouth county, Mass. I
gave him a little change I had—he said he would like to buy a drink of
milk when the woman came through with milk. Trifling as this was, he was
overcome and began to cry. Then there were many, many others. I mention
the one, as a specimen. My Brooklyn boys were John Lowery, shot at
Fredericksburg, and lost his left forearm, and Amos H. Vliet—Jeff knows
the latter—he has his feet frozen, and is doing well. The 100 are in a
ward, (6), and there are, I should think, eight or ten or twelve such
wards in the Campbell hospital—indeed a real village. Then there are 38
more hospitals here in Washington, some of them much larger.
Sunday forenoon, Jan. 4, 1863. Mat, I hope and trust dear mother and all
are well, and everything goes on good home. The envelope I send, Jeff or
any of you can keep for direction, or use it when wanted to write to me.
As near as I can tell, the army at Falmouth remains the same. Dear sister,
good-bye.
Walt.
I send my love to Andrew and Jesse and Eddy and all. What distressing news
this is of the loss of the Monitor.[11]
III
Washington, Friday noon, February 6, 1863. Dearest Mother—Jeff must
have got a letter from me yesterday, containing George’s last letter. The
news of your sickness and the strange silence of Han made me feel somewhat
gloomy. I wrote to George yesterday, conveying the news—and to-day I have
sent him another letter, with much more comforting news, for I was so glad
to hear from Han (her letter enclosed in Jeff’s received this morning)
that I wrote him right away, and sent Han’s letter.
Mother, I am quite in hopes George will get a furlough—may-be my
expectations are unfounded, but I almost count on it. I am so glad this
morning to hear you are no worse, but changed for the better—and dear
sister Mat too, and Sissy, I am so glad to think they are recovering.
Jeff’s enclosure of $10 through Mr. Lane, from the young engineers for the
soldiers in hospitals, the most needy cases, came safe of course—I shall
acknowledge it to Mr. Lane to-morrow. Mother, I have written so much about
hospitals that I will not write any in this letter.
We have had bad weather enough here lately to most make up for the
delightful weather we had for five weeks after I came from home.
Mother, I do hope you will be careful, and not get any relapse—and hope
you will go on improving. Do you then think of getting new apartments,
after the 1st of May? I suppose Jeff has settled about the lot—it seems
to me first rate as an investment—the kind of house to build is quite a
consideration (if any house). I should build a regular Irish shanty
myself—two rooms, and an end shed. I think that’s luxury enough, since I
have been down in the army.
Well, mother, I believe I will not fill out the sheet this time, as I want
to go down without delay to the P. O. and send George’s letter and this
one. Good-bye, dear mother.
Walt.
IV
Washington, Monday morning, Feb. 9, 1863. Dearest Mother—I write to
enclose you a letter I have just received from George. His corps (Ninth
Army) and perhaps one other are to move either to Fort Monroe, or
somewhere down there—some say Suffolk. I am in hopes that when they get
there, George will still have a sight for a furlough. I have written him I
should think four letters since the 27th Jan. (and have sent him Han’s
letter to you in one). I hope he has got most of them before this. I am
afraid the $3 change I sent him is gone. He will write to you as soon as
he gets settled wherever they go to. I don’t know as it makes any
difference in respect to danger, or fighting, from this move. One reason
they have to move from the Rappahannock, up there, is that wood is all
gone for miles, forage is scarce to get, and I don’t know as there is any
need of their staying there, for any purpose. In some haste, dearest
mother, as I am off to visit for an hour or so, one of my hospitals. Your
affectionate son,
Walt.
V
Office Major Hapgood, cor. 15th & F sts, Washington, Feb. 13, 1863. Dear
Brother[12]—Nothing new; still I thought I would write you a line this
morning. The $4, namely $2 from Theo A. Drake and $2 from John D. Martin,
enclosed in your letter of the 10th, came safe. They too will please
accept the grateful thanks of several poor fellows, in hospital here.
The letter of introduction to Mr. Webster, chief clerk, State department,
will be very acceptable. If convenient, I should like Mr. Lane to send it
on immediately. I do not so much look for an appointment from Mr. Seward
as his backing me from the State of New York. I have seen Preston King
this morning for the second time (it is very amusing to hunt for an
office—so the thing seems to me just now, even if one don’t get it). I
have seen Charles Sumner three times—he says ev’ry thing here moves as
part of a great machine, and that I must consign myself to the fate of the
rest—still [in] an interview I had with him yesterday he talked and acted
as though he had life in him, and would exert himself to any reasonable
extent for me to get something. Meantime I make about enough to pay my
expenses by hacking on the press here, and copying in the paymasters’
offices, a couple of hours a day. One thing is favorable here, namely, pay
for whatever one does is at a high rate. I have not yet presented my
letters to either Seward or Chase—I thought I would get my forces all in
a body, and make one concentrated dash, if possible with the personal
introduction and presence of some big bug. I like fat old Preston King
very much—he is fat as a hogshead, with great hanging chops. The first
thing he said to me the other day in the parlor chambers of the Senate,
when I sent in for him and he came out, was, “Why, how can I do this
thing, or any thing for you—how do I know but you are a Secessionist? You
look for all the world like an old Southern planter—a regular Carolina
or Virginia planter.” I treated him with just as much hauteur as he did
me with bluntness—this was the first time—it afterward proved that
Charles Sumner had not prepared the way for me, as I supposed, or rather
not so strongly as I supposed, and Mr. King had even forgotten it—so I
was an entire stranger. But the same day C. S. talked further with Mr.
King in the Senate, and the second interview I had with the latter (this
forenoon) he has given me a sort of general letter, endorsing me from New
York—one envelope is addressed to Secretary Chase, and another to Gen.
Meigs, head Quartermaster’s dept. Meantime, I am getting better and better
acquainted with office-hunting wisdom and Washington peculiarities
generally. I spent several hours in the Capitol the other day. The
incredible gorgeousness of some of the rooms, (interior decorations,
etc.)—rooms used perhaps but for merely three or four committee meetings
in the course of the whole year—is beyond one’s flightiest dreams. Costly
frescoes of the style of Taylor’s saloon in Broadway, only really the best
and choicest of their sort, done by imported French and Italian artists,
are the prevailing sorts. (Imagine the work you see on the fine china
vases in Tiffany’s, the paintings of Cupids and goddesses, etc., spread
recklessly over the arched ceiling and broad panels of a big room—the
whole floor underneath paved with tesselated pavement, which is a sort of
cross between marble and china, with little figures, drab, blue, cream
color, etc.) These things, with heavy elaborately wrought balustrades,
columns, and steps—all of the most beautiful marbles I ever saw, some
white as milk, other of all colors, green, spotted, lined, or of our old
chocolate color—all these marbles used as freely as if they were common
blue flags—with rich door-frames and window-casings of bronze and
gold—heavy chandeliers and mantles, and clocks in every room—and indeed
by far the richest and gayest, and most un-American and inappropriate
ornamenting and finest interior workmanship I ever conceived possible,
spread in profusion through scores, hundreds, (and almost thousands) of
rooms—such are what I find, or rather would find to interest me, if I
devoted time to it. But a few of the rooms are enough for me—the style is
without grandeur, and without simplicity. These days, the state our
country is in, and especially filled as I am from top to toe of late with
scenes and thoughts of the hospitals, (America seems to me now, though
only in her youth, but brought already here, feeble, bandaged, and bloody
in hospital)—these days I say, Jeff, all the poppy-show goddesses, and
all the pretty blue and gold in which the interior Capitol is got up, seem
to me out of place beyond anything I could tell—and I get away from it as
quick as I can when that kind of thought comes over me. I suppose it is to
be described throughout—those interiors—as all of them got up in the
French style—well, enough for a New York.
VI
Washington, March 31, 1863. Dearest Mother—I have not heard from
George, except a note he wrote me a couple of days after he got back from
his furlough. I think it likely the regiment has gone with its corps to
the West, the Kentucky or Tennessee region—Burnside at last accounts was
in Cincinnati. Well, it will be a change for George, if he is out there. I
sent a long letter to Han last Saturday—enclosed George’s note to me.
Mother, when you or Jeff writes again, tell me if my papers and MSS. are
all right; I should be very sorry indeed if they got scattered, or used up
or anything—especially the copy of “Leaves of Grass” covered in blue
paper,[13] and the little MS. book “Drum-Taps,” and the MS. tied up in the
square, spotted (stone-paper) loose covers—I want them all carefully
kept.
Mother, it is quite a snow-storm here this morning—the ground is an inch
and a half deep with snow—and it is snowing and drizzling—but I feel
very independent in my stout army-boots; I go anywhere. I have felt
quite well of my deafness and cold in my head for four days or so, but it
is back again bad as ever this morning.
Dear mother, I wrote the above in my room—I have now come down to Major
Hapgood’s office. I do not find anything from home, and no particular news
in the paper this morning—no news about the Ninth Army Corps, or where
they are. I find a good letter from one of my New York boys, (Fifth
avenue) a young fellow named Hugo Fritsch, son of the Austrian
Consul-General—he writes me a long, first-rate letter this morning. He
too speaks about the Opera—like Jeff he goes there a good deal—says that
Medori, the soprano, as Norma made the greatest success ever seen—says
that the whole company there now, the singers, are very fine. All this I
write for Jeff and Mat—I hope they will go once in a while when it is
convenient.
It is a most disagreeable day here, mother, walking poshy and a rain and
drizzle.
There is nothing new with me, no particular sight for an office that I can
count on. But I can make enough with the papers, for the present
necessities. I hear that the paymaster, Major Yard, that pays the 51st,
has gone on West, I suppose to Cincinnati, or wherever the brigade has
gone—of course to pay up—he pays up to 1st of March—all the Army is
going to be paid up to 1st March everywhere.
Mother, I hope you are well and hearty as usual. I am so glad you are none
of you going to move. I would like to have the pleasure of Miss
Mannahatta Whitman’s company, the first fine forenoon, if it were
possible; I think we might have first-rate times, for one day at any rate.
I hope she will not forget her Uncle Walt. I received a note from
Probasco, requesting me not to put his name in my next letter. I
appreciate his motive, and wish to please him always—but in this matter I
shall do what I think appropriate. Mother, I see some very interesting
persons here—a young master’s mate, who was on the Hatteras, when
surprised and broadsided by the Alabama, Capt Semmes—he gave me a very
good acc’t of it all—then Capt. Mullen, U. S. Army, (engineer) who has
been six years out in the Rocky mts. making a Gov’t road 650 miles from
Ft. Benton to Walla Walla—very, very interesting to know such men
intimately, and talk freely with them. Dearest mother, I shall have great
yarns to spin, when I come home. I am not a bit homesick, yet I should
like to see you and Mat very, very much—one thinks of the women when he
is away.
Walt.
Shall send the shirts in a day or two.
VII
Washington, Wednesday forenoon, April 15, 1863. Dearest Mother—Jeff’s
letter of the 11th, acknowledging the books, also the one about five days
previous, containing the $10 from Van Anden, came safe. Jeff’s letters
are always first rate and welcome—the good long one with so much about
home, and containing Han’s and George’s, was especially so. It is a great
pleasure, though sometimes a melancholy one, to hear from Han, under her
own hand. I have writ to George—I wrote last Friday. I directed the
letter to “Lexington or elsewhere, Kentucky”—as I saw in a letter in a
Cincinnati paper that Gen. Ferrero was appointed provost marshal at
Lexington. The 51st is down there somewhere, and I guess it is about as
well off there as anywhere. There is much said about their closing up the
regimental companies—that is, where there are ten companies of 40 men
each, closing them up to five companies, of 80 men each. It is said the
Government purposes something of this kind. It will throw a good many
captains and lieutenants out. I suppose you know that Le Gendre is now
colonel of the 51st—it’s a pity if we haven’t Americans enough to put
over our old war regiments. (I think less and less of foreigners, in this
war. What I see, especially in the hospitals, convinces me that there is
no other stock, for emergencies, but native American—no other name by
which we can be saved.)
Mother, I feel quite bad about Andrew—I am so in hopes to hear that he
has recovered—I think about him every day. He must not get fretting and
disheartened—that is really the worst feature of any sickness. Diseases
of the throat and bronchia are the result always of bad state of the
stomach, blood, etc. (they never come from the throat itself). The throat
and the bronchia are lined, like the stomach and other interior organs,
with a fine lining like silk or crape, and when all this gets ulcerated or
inflamed or what-not (it is Dr. Sammis’s mucous membrane, you know) it
is bad, and most distressing. Medicine is really of no great account,
except just to pacify a person. This lining I speak of is full of little
blood vessels, and the way to make a real cure is by gentle and steady
means to recuperate the whole system; this will tell upon the blood, upon
the blood vessels, and so finally and effectually upon all this coating I
speak of that lines the throat, etc. But as it is a long time before this
vital lining membrane (very important) is injured, so it is a long time
before it can be made all healthy and right again; but Andrew is young and
strong enough and [has a] good constitution for basis—and of course by
regular diet, care, (and nary whiskey under any circumstances) I am sure
he would not only get over that trouble, but be as well and strong as he
ever was in his life. Mother, you tell him I sent him my love, and
Nancy[14] the same, and the dear little boys the same—the next time you
or Mat goes down there you take this and show him.
Mat, I am quite glad to hear that you are not hurried and fretted with
work from New York this spring—I am sure I should think Sis and
housekeeping, etc., would be enough to attend to. I was real amused with
Sis’s remarks, and all that was in the letter about her. You must none of
you notice her smartness, nor criticisms, before her, nor encourage her to
spread herself nor be critical, as it is not good to encourage a child to
be too sharp—and I hope Sissy is going to be a splendid specimen of good
animal health. For the few years to come I should think more of that than
anything—that is the foundation of all (righteousness included); as to
her mental vivacity and growth, they are plenty enough of themselves, and
will get along quite fast enough of themselves, plenty fast enough—don’t
stimulate them at all. Dear little creature, how I should like to see her
this minute. Jeff must not make his lessons to her in music anyways strong
or frequent on any account—two lessons a week, of ten minutes each, is
enough—but then I dare say Jeff will think of all these things, just the
same as I am saying. Jeff writes he wonders if I am as well and hearty,
and I suppose he means as much of a beauty as ever, whether I look the
same. Well, not only as much but more so—I believe I weigh about 200, and
as to my face, (so scarlet,) and my beard and neck, they are terrible to
behold. I fancy the reason I am able to do some good in the hospitals
among the poor languishing and wounded boys, is, that I am so large and
well—indeed like a great wild buffalo, with much hair. Many of the
soldiers are from the West, and far North, and they take to a man that has
not the bleached shiny and shaved cut of the cities and the East. I
spent three to four hours yesterday in Armory hospital. One of my
particular boys there was dying—pneumonia—he wanted me to stop with him
awhile; he could not articulate—but the look of his eyes, and the holding
on of his hand was deeply affecting. His case is a relapse—eight days ago
he had recovered, was up, was perhaps a little careless—at any rate took
cold, was taken down again and has sank rapidly. He has no friends or
relatives here. Yesterday he labored and panted so for breath, it was
terrible. He is a young man from New England, from the country. I expected
to see his cot vacated this afternoon or evening, as I shall go down then.
Mother, if you or Mat was here a couple of days, you would cry your eyes
out. I find I have to restrain myself and keep my composure—I succeed
pretty well. Good-bye, dearest mother.
Walt.
Jeff, Capt. Muller remains here yet for some time. He is bringing out his
report. I shall try to send you a copy. Give my best respects to Dr.
Ruggles.
Mother, my last letter home was a week ago to-day—we are having a dark
rainy day here—it is now half-past 3. I have been in my room all day so
far—shall have dinner in half an hour, and then down to Armory.
VIII
Washington, April 28, 1863. Dearest Mother—A letter from Jeff came this
morning. Mother, I was sorry to hear you had a return of your
rheumatism—I do hope you will favor yourself more, it depends so much on
that—and rheumatism is so obstinate, when it gets hold of one. Mother,
you received a letter from me sent last Wednesday, 22nd, of course, with a
small quantity of shinplasters. Next time you or Jeff writes, I wish you
would tell me whether the letters come pretty regularly, the next morning
after I write them—this now ought to reach you Wednesday forenoon, April
29th. Mother, did a Mr. Howell call on you? He was here last week to see
about his boy, died a long while ago in hospital in Yorktown. He works in
the Navy Yard—knows Andrew. You will see about him (the boy) in a letter
I sent yesterday to the Eagle—it ought to appear to-day or to-morrow.
Jeff, I wish you would take 10¢ I send in this letter and get me ten
copies of the Eagle with it in—put in five more of my pictures (the big
ones in last edition “Leaves”), and a couple of the photographs carte
visites (the smaller ones), and send me to the same direction as before;
it came very well. I will send an Eagle to Han and George. The stamps
and 10¢ are for Jeff for the papers and postage.
I have written to Han, and sent her George’s last two letters from
Kentucky; one I got last week from Mount Sterling. I write to George and
send him papers. Sam Beatty is here in Washington again. I saw him, and he
said he would write to George. Mother, I have not got any new clothes yet,
but shall very soon I hope. People are more rough and free and easy drest
than your way. Then it is dusty or muddy most of the time here. Mother
dear, I hope you have comfortable times—at least as comfortable as the
law allows. I am so glad you are not going to have the trouble of moving
this 1st of May. How are the Browns? Tell Will I should like to see him
first rate—if he was here attached to the suite of some big officer, or
something of that kind, he would have a good time and do well. I see lots
of young fellows not half as capable and trustworthy as he, coming and
going in Washington, in such positions. The big generals and head men all
through the armies, and provosts etc., like to have a squad of such smart,
nimble young men around them. Give my respects to Mr. and Mrs. Brown.
Tell Jeff I am going to write to Mr. Lane either to-day or to-morrow. Jeff
asks me if I go to hospitals as much as ever. If my letters home don’t
show it, you don’t get ’em. I feel sorry sometimes after I have sent them,
I have said so much about hospitals, and so mournful. O mother, the young
man in Armory-square, Dennis Barrett, in the 169th N. Y., I mentioned
before, is probably going to get up after all; he is like one saved from
the grave. Saturday last I saw him and talked with him and gave him
something to eat, and he was much better—it is the most unexpected
recovery I have yet seen. Mother, I see Jeff says in the letter you don’t
hear from me very often—I will write oftener, especially to Jeff. Dear
brother, I hope you are getting along good, and in good spirits; you must
not mind the failure of the sewer bills, etc. It don’t seem to me it makes
so much difference about worldly successes (beyond just enough to eat and
drink and shelter, in the moderatest limits) any more, since the last four
months of my life especially, and that merely to live, and have one fair
meal a day, is enough—but then you have a family, and that makes a
difference.
Matty, I send you my best love, dear sister—how I wish I could be with
you one or two good days. Mat, do you remember the good time we had that
awful stormy night we went to the Opera, New York, and had the front seat,
and heard the handsome-mouthed Guerrabella? and had the good oyster supper
at Fulton market—(“pewter them ales.”) O Mat, I hope and trust we shall
have such times again.
Tell Andrew he must remember what I wrote about the throat, etc. I am sure
he will get all right before long, and recover his voice. Give him my
love—and tell Mannahatta her Uncle Walt is living now among the sick
soldiers. Jeff, look out for the Eagles, and send the portraits.
Dearest mother, I must bid you and all for the present good-bye.
Walt.
IX
Washington, Tuesday, May 5, 1863. Dearest Mother—Your letter came safe,
and was very welcome, and always will be. Mother, I am sorry about your
rheumatism—if it still continues I think it would be well for me to write
a line to Mrs. Piercy, and get Jeff to stop with it, so that you could
take the baths again, as I am sure they are very beneficial. Dear mother,
you write me, or Jeff must in the next letter, how you are getting along,
whether it is any better or worse—I want to know. Mother, about George’s
fund in the bank; I hope by all means you can scratch along so as to leave
$250 there—I am so anxious that our family should have a little ranch,
even if it is the meanest kind, off somewhere that you can call your own,
and that would do for Ed etc.—it might be a real dependence, and
comfort—and may-be for George as much as any one. I mean to come home one
of these days, and get the acre or half acre somewhere out in some
by-place on Long Island, and build it—you see if I don’t. About Hannah,
dear mother, I hardly know what advice to give you—from what I know at
present I can’t tell what course to pursue. I want Han to come home, from
the bottom of my heart. Then there are other thoughts and considerations
that come up. Dear mother, I cannot advise, but shall acquiesce in
anything that is settled upon, and try to help.
The condition of things here in the hospitals is getting pretty bad—the
wounded from the battles around Fredericksburg are coming up in large
numbers. It is very sad to see them. I have written to Mr. Lane, asking
him to get his friends to forward me what they think proper—but somehow I
feel delicate about sending such requests, after all.
I have almost made up my mind to do what I can personally, and not seek
assistance from others.
Dear mother, I have not received any letter from George. I write to him
and send papers to Winchester. Mother, while I have been writing this a
very large number of Southern prisoners, I should think 1,000 at least,
has past up Pennsylvania avenue, under a strong guard. I went out in the
street, close to them. Poor fellows, many of them mere lads—it brought
the tears; they seemed our flesh and blood too, some wounded, all
miserable in clothing, all in dirt and tatters—many of them fine young
men. Mother, I cannot tell you how I feel to see those prisoners marched.
X
Washington, Wednesday forenoon, May 13, 1863. Dearest Mother—I am late
with my letter this week—my poor, poor boys occupy my time very much—I
go every day, and sometimes nights. I believe I mentioned a young man in
Ward F, Armory-square, with a bad wound in the leg, very agonizing—had to
have it propt up, and an attendant all the while dripping water on night
and day. I was in hopes at one time he would get through with it, but a
few days ago he took a sudden bad turn and died about 3 o’clock the same
afternoon—it was horrible. He was of good family—handsome, intelligent
man, about 26, married; his name was John Elliot, of Cumberland Valley,
Bedford co., Penn.—belonged to 2nd Pennsylvania Cavalry. I felt very bad
about it. I have wrote to his father—have not received any answer yet; no
friend nor any of his folks was here, and have not been here nor
sent—probably don’t know of it at all. The surgeons put off amputating
the leg, he was so exhausted, but at last it was imperatively necessary to
amputate. Mother, I am shocked to tell you that he never came alive off
the amputating table—he died under the operation—it was what I had
dreaded and anticipated. Poor young man, he suffered much, very, very
much, for many days, and bore it so patiently—so that it was a release to
him. Mother, such things are awful—not a soul here he knew or cared
about, except me—yet the surgeons and nurses were good to him. I think
all was done for him that could be—there was no help but take off the
leg; he was under chloroform—they tried their best to bring him
to—three long hours were spent, a strong smelling bottle held under his
nostrils, with other means, three hours. Mother, how contemptible all the
usual little worldly prides and vanities, and striving after appearances,
seems in the midst of such scenes as these—such tragedies of soul and
body. To see such things and not be able to help them is awful—I feel
almost ashamed of being so well and whole.
Dear mother, I have not heard from George himself; but I got a letter from
Fred McReady, a young Brooklyn man in 51st—he is intimate with George,
said he was well and hearty. I got the letter about five days ago. I wrote
to George four days since, directed to Winchester, Kentucky. I got a
letter from a friend in Nashville, Tenn., yesterday—he told me the 9th
Army Corps was ordered to move to Murfreesboro, Tenn. I don’t know whether
this is so or not. I send papers to George almost every day. So far I
think it was fortunate the 51st was moved West, and I hope it will
continue so. Mother, it is all a lottery, this war; no one knows what will
come up next.
Mother, I received Jeff’s letter of May 9th—it was welcome, as all Jeff’s
letters are, and all others from home. Jeff says you do not hear from me
at home but seldom. Mother, I write once a week to you regular; but I will
write soon to Jeff a good long letter—I have wanted to for some time, but
have been much occupied. Dear brother, I wish you to say to Probasco and
all the other young men on the Works, I send them my love and best
thanks—never anything came more acceptable than the little fund they
forwarded me the last week through Mr. Lane. Our wounded from Hooker’s
battles are worse wounded and more of them than any battle of the war, and
indeed any, I may say, of modern times—besides, the weather has been very
hot here, very bad for new wounds. Yet as Jeff writes so downhearted I
must tell him the Rebellion has lost worse and more than we have. The more
I find out about it, the more I think they, the Confederates, have
received an irreparable harm and loss in Virginia—I should not be
surprised to see them (either voluntarily or by force) leaving Virginia
before many weeks; I don’t see how on earth they can stay there. I think
Hooker is already reaching after them again—I myself do not give up
Hooker yet. Dear mother, I should like to hear from Han, poor Han. I send
my best love to sister Mat and all. Good-bye, dearest mother.
Walt.
XI
Washington, Tuesday forenoon, May 19, 1863. Dearest Mother—... I sent
George a letter yesterday—have not got any letter myself from Georgy, but
have sent him quite a good many and papers. Mother, what a tramp the 51st
has had—they only need now to go to California, and they will finish the
job complete. O mother, how welcome the shirts were—I was putting off and
putting off, to get some new ones. I could not find any one to do them as
I want them, and it would have cost such a price—and so my old ones had
got to be. When they came back from the wash I had to laugh; they were a
lot of rags, held together with starch. I have a very nice old black aunty
for a washwoman, but she bears down pretty hard, I guess, when she irons
them, and they showed something like the poor old city of Fredericksburg
does, since Burnside bombarded it. Well, mother, when the bundle came, I
was so glad—and the coats too, worn as they are, they come in very
handy—and the cake, dear mother, I am almost like the boy that put it
under his pillow and woke up in the night and eat some. I carried a good
chunk to a young man wounded I think a good deal of, and it did him so
much good—it is dry, but all the better, as he eat it with tea and it
relished. I eat a piece with him, and drinked some tea out of his cup, as
I sat by the side of his cot. Mother, I have neglected, I think, what I
ought to have told you two or three weeks ago, that is that I have
discarded my old clothes—somewhat because they were too thick, and more
still because they were worse gone in than any I have ever yet wore, I
think, in my life, especially the trowsers. Wearing my big boots had
caused the inside of the legs just above the knee to wear two beautiful
round holes right through cloth and partly through the lining, producing
a novel effect, which was not necessary, as I produce a sufficient
sensation without—then they were desperately faded. I have a nice plain
suit of a dark wine color; looks very well, and feels good—single
breasted sack coat with breast pockets, etc., and vest and pants same as
what I always wear (pants pretty full), so upon the whole all looks
unusually good for me. My hat is very good yet, boots ditto; have a new
necktie, nice shirts—you can imagine I cut quite a swell. I have not
trimmed my beard since I left home, but it is not grown much longer, only
perhaps a little bushier. I keep about as stout as ever, and the past five
or six days I have felt wonderful well, indeed never did I feel better.
About ten or twelve days ago, we had a short spell of very warm weather
here, but for about six days now it has been delightful, just warm enough.
I generally go to the hospitals from 12 to 4—and then again from 6 to 9;
some days I only go in the middle of the day or evening, not both—and
then when I feel somewhat opprest, I skip over a day, or make perhaps a
light call only, as I have several cautions from the doctors, who tell me
that one must beware of continuing too steady and long in the air and
influences of the hospitals. I find the caution a wise one.
Mother, you or Jeff must write me what Andrew does about going to North
Carolina. I should think it might have a beneficial effect upon his
throat. I wrote Jeff quite a long letter Sunday. Jeff must write to me
whenever he can, I like dearly to have them—and whenever you feel like it
you too, dear mother. Tell Sis her uncle Walt will come back one of these
days from the sick soldiers and take her out on Fort Greene again. Mother,
I received a letter yesterday from John Elliot’s father, in Bedford co.,
Pennsylvania (the young man I told you about, who died under the
operation). It was very sad; it was the first he knew about it. I don’t
know whether I told you of Dennis Barrett, pneumonia three weeks since,
had got well enough to be sent home. Dearest Mother, I hope you will take
things as easy as possible and try to keep a good heart. Matty, my dear
sister, I have to inform you that I was treated to a splendid dish of
ice-cream Sunday night; I wished you was with me to have another. I send
you my love, dear sister. Mother, I hope by all means it will be possible
to keep the money whole to get some ranch next spring, if not before; I
mean to come home and build it. Good-bye for the present, dear mother.
Walt.
XII
Washington, Tuesday forenoon, May 26, 1863. Dearest Mother—I got a long
letter from George, dated near Lancaster, Kentucky, May 15th; he seems to
be well and in good spirits—says he gets some letters from me and papers
too. At the time he wrote the 51st was doing provost duty at Lancaster,
but would not probably remain so very long—seem to be moving towards
southeast Kentucky—had a good camp, and good times generally. Le Gendre
is colonel—Gen. Ferrero has left the service—Col. Potter (now
brig.-gen.) is in Cincinnati—Capt. Sims, etc., are all well. George
describes Kentucky as a very fine country—says the people are about half
and half, Secesh and Union. This is the longest letter I have yet received
from George. Did he write you one about the same time? Mother, I have not
rec’d any word from home in over a week—the last letter I had from Mr.
Lane was about twelve days ago, sending me $10 for the soldiers (five from
Mr. Kirkwood and five from Mr. Conklin Brush). Mother dear, I should like
to hear from Martha; I wish Jeff would write me about it. Has Andrew gone?
and how is your wrist and arm, mother? We had some very hot weather
here—I don’t know what I should have done without the thin grey coat you
sent—you don’t know how good it does, and looks too; I wore it three
days, and carried a fan and an umbrella (quite a Japanee)—most everybody
here carries an umbrella, on account of the sun. Yesterday and to-day
however have been quite cool, east wind. Mother, the shirts were a real
godsend, they do first rate; I like the fancy marseilles collar and
wrist-bands. Mother, how are you getting along—I suppose just the same as
ever. I suppose Jess and Ed are just the same as ever. When you write,
you tell me all about everything, and the Browns, and the neighborhood
generally. Mother, is George’s trunk home and of no use there? I wish I
had it here, as I must have a trunk—but do not wish you to send until I
send you word. I suppose my letter never appeared in the Eagle; well, I
shall send them no more, as I think likely they hate to put in anything
which may celebrate me a little, even though it is just the thing they
want for their paper and readers. They altered the other letter on that
account, very meanly. I shall probably have letters in the N. Y. Times
and perhaps other papers in about a week. Mother, I have been pretty
active in hospitals for the past two weeks, somewhere every day or night.
I have written you so much about cases, etc., I will not write you any
more on that subject this time. O the sad, sad things I see—the noble
young men with legs and arms taken off—the deaths—the sick weakness,
sicker than death, that some endure, after amputations (there is a great
difference, some make little of it, others lie after it for days, just
flickering alive, and O so deathly weak and sick). I go this afternoon to
Campbell hospital, out a couple of miles.
Mother, I should like to have Jeff send me 20 of the large-sized portraits
and as many of the standing figure; do them up flat. I think every day
about Martha. Mother, have you heard any further about Han? Good-bye for
the present, dearest mother.
Walt.
XIII
Washington, Tuesday morning, June 9, 1863. Dearest Mother—Jeff’s letter
came yesterday and was very welcome, as I wanted to hear about you all. I
wrote to George yesterday and sent Jeff’s letter enclosed. It looks from
some accounts as though the 9th Army Corps might be going down into East
Tennessee (Cumberland Gap, or perhaps bound for Knoxville). It is an
important region, and has many Southern Unionists. The staunchest Union
man I have ever met is a young Southerner in the 2nd Tennessee (Union
reg’t)—he was ten months in Southern prisons; came up from Richmond
paroled about ten weeks ago, and has been in hospital here sick until
lately. He suffered everything but death—he is [the] one they hung up by
the heels, head downwards—and indeed worse than death, but stuck to his
convictions like a hero—John Barker, a real manly fellow; I saw much of
him and heard much of that country that can be relied on. He is now gone
home to his reg’t.
Mother, I am feeling very well these days—my head that was stopt up so
and hard of hearing seems to be all right; I only hope you have had
similar good fortune with your rheumatism, and that it will continue so. I
wish I could come in for a couple of days and see you; if I should succeed
in getting a transportation ticket that would take me to New York and back
I should be tempted to come home for two or three days, as I want some
MSS. and books, and the trunk, etc.—but I will see. Mother, your letter
week before last was very good—whenever you feel like it you write me,
dear mother, and tell me everything about the neighborhood and all the
items of our family.
And sister Mat, how is she getting along—I believe I will have to write a
letter especially to her and Sis one of these times.
It is awful dry weather here, no rain of any consequence for five or six
weeks. We have strawberries good and plenty, 15 cents a quart, with the
hulls on—I go down to market sometimes of a morning and buy two or three
quarts, for the folks I take my meals with. Mother, do you know I have not
paid, as you may say, a cent of board since I have been in Washington,
that is for meals—four or five times I have made a rush to leave the
folks and find a moderate-priced boarding-house, but every time they have
made such a time about it that I have kept on. It is Mr. and Mrs. O’Connor
(he is the author of “Harrington”); he has a $1600 office in the Treasury,
and she is a first-rate woman, a Massachusetts girl. They keep house in a
moderate way; they have one little girl (lost a fine boy about a year
ago); they have two rooms in the same house where I hire my rooms, and I
take breakfast (half-past 8) and dinner (half-past 4) with them, as they
will have it so. That’s the way it has gone on now over five months, and
as I say, they won’t listen to my leaving—but I shall do so, I think. I
can never forget the kindness and real friendship, and it appears as
though they would continue just the same, if it were for all our lives.
But I have insisted on going to market (it is pleasant in the cool of the
morning) and getting the things at my own expense, two or three times a
week lately. I pay for the room I occupy now $7 a month—the landlord is a
mixture of booby, miser, and hog; his name is G——; the landlady is a
good woman, Washington raised—they are quite rich; he is Irish of the
worst kind—has had a good office for ten years until Lincoln came in.
They have bought another house, smaller, to live in, and are going to move
(were to have moved 1st of June). They had an auction of the house we live
in yesterday, but nobody came to buy, so it was ridiculous—we had a red
flag out, and a nigger walked up and down ringing a big bell, which is the
fashion here for auctions.
Well, mother, the war still goes on, and everything as much in a fog as
ever—and the battles as bloody, and the wounded and sick getting worse
and plentier all the time. I see a letter in the Tribune from Lexington,
Ky., June 5th, headed “The 9th Army Corps departing for Vicksburg”—but I
cannot exactly make it out on reading the letter carefully—I don’t see
anything in the letter about the 9th Corps moving from Vicksburg; at any
rate I think the 2nd division is more likely to be needed in Kentucky (or
as I said, in Eastern Tennessee), as the Secesh are expected to make
trouble there. But one can hardly tell—the only thing is to resign
oneself to events as they occur; it is a sad and dreary time, for so many
thousands of parents and relatives, not knowing what will occur next.
Mother, I told you, I think last week, that I had wrote to Han, and
enclosed George’s last letter to me—I wrote a week ago last Sunday—I
wonder if she got the letter. About the pictures, I should like Jeff to
send them, as soon as convenient—might send 20 of the big head, 10 or 12
of the standing figure, and 3 of the carte visite.
I am writing this in Major Hapgood’s office—it is bright and pleasant,
only the dust here in Washington is a great nuisance. Mother, your shirts
do first rate—I am wearing them; the one I have on to-day suits me better
than any I have ever yet had. I have not worn the thin coat the last week
or so, as it has not been very hot lately. Mother, I think something of
commencing a series of lectures and reading, etc., through different
cities of the North, to supply myself with funds for my hospital and
soldiers’ visits, as I do not like to be beholden to the medium of others.
I need a pretty large supply of money, etc., to do the good I would like
to, and the work grows upon me, and fascinates me—it is the most
affecting thing you ever see, the lots of poor sick and wounded young men
that depend so much, in one word or another, upon my petting or soothing
or feeding, sitting by them and feeding them their dinner or supper—some
are quite helpless, some wounded in both arms—or giving some trifle (for
a novelty or a change, it isn’t for the value of it), or stopping a little
while with them. Nobody will do but me—so, mother, I feel as though I
would like to inaugurate a plan by which I could raise means on my own
hook, and perhaps quite plenty too. Best love to you, dearest mother, and
to sister Mat, and Jeff.
Walt.
XIV
Washington, Monday morning, June 22, 1863. Dear Mother—Jeff’s letter
came informing me of the birth of the little girl,[15] and that Matty was
feeling pretty well, so far. I hope it will continue. Dear sister, I
should much like to come home and see you and the little one; I am sure
from Jeff’s description it is a noble babe—and as to its being a girl, it
is all the better. (I am not sure but the Whitman breed gives better women
than men.)
Well, mother, we are generally anticipating a lively time here, or in the
neighborhood, as it is probable Lee is feeling about to strike a blow on
Washington, or perhaps right into it—and as Lee is no fool, it is perhaps
possible he may give us a good shake. He is not very far off—yesterday
was a fight to the southwest of here all day; we heard the cannons nearly
all day. The wounded are arriving in small squads every day, mostly
cavalry, a great many Ohio men; they send off to-day from the Washington
hospitals a great many to New York, Philadelphia, etc., all who are able,
to make room, which looks ominous—indeed, it is pretty certain that there
is to be some severe fighting, may-be a great battle again, the pending
week. I am getting so callous that it hardly arouses me at all. I fancy I
should take it very quietly if I found myself in the midst of a desperate
conflict here in Washington.
Mother, I have nothing particular to write about—I see and hear nothing
but new and old cases of my poor suffering boys in hospitals, and I dare
say you have had enough of such things. I have not missed a day at
hospital, I think, for more than three weeks—I get more and more wound
round. Poor young men—there are some cases that would literally sink and
give up if I did not pass a portion of the time with them. I have quite
made up my mind about the lecturing, etc., project—I have no doubt it
will succeed well enough the way I shall put it in operation. You know,
mother, it is to raise funds to enable me to continue my hospital
ministrations, on a more free-handed scale. As to the Sanitary commissions
and the like, I am sick of them all, and would not accept any of their
berths. You ought to see the way the men, as they lay helpless in bed,
turn away their faces from the sight of those agents, chaplains, etc.
(hirelings, as Elias Hicks would call them—they seem to me always a set
of foxes and wolves). They get well paid, and are always incompetent and
disagreeable; as I told you before, the only good fellows I have met are
the Christian commissioners—they go everywhere and receive no pay.
Dear, dear mother, I want much to see you, and dear Matty too; I send you
both my best love, and Jeff too. The pictures came—I have not heard from
George nor Han. I write a day earlier than usual.
Walt.
We here think Vicksburg is ours. The probability is that it has
capitulated—and there has been no general assault—can’t tell yet whether
the 51st went there. We are having very fine weather here to-day—rained
last night.
XV
Washington, June 30th, 1863. Dearest Mother—Your letter, with Han’s, I
have sent to George, though whether it will find him or not I cannot tell,
as I think the 51st must be away down at Vicksburg. I have not had a word
from George yet. Mother, I have had quite an attack of sore throat and
distress in my head for some days past, up to last night, but to-day I
feel nearly all right again. I have been about the city same as usual
nearly—to the hospitals, etc., I mean. I am told that I hover too much
over the beds of the hospitals, with fever and putrid wounds, etc. One
soldier brought here about fifteen days ago, very low with typhoid fever,
Livingston Brooks, Co. B., 17th Penn. Cavalry, I have particularly stuck
to, as I found him to be in what appeared to be a dying condition, from
negligence and a horrible journey of about forty miles, bad roads and fast
driving; and then after he got here, as he is a simple country boy, very
shy and silent, and made no complaint, they neglected him. I found him
something like I found John Holmes last winter. I called the doctor’s
attention to him, shook up the nurses, had him bathed in spirits, gave him
lumps of ice, and ice to his head; he had a fearful bursting pain in his
head, and his body was like fire. He was very quiet, a very sensible boy,
old fashioned; he did not want to die, and I had to lie to him without
stint, for he thought I knew everything, and I always put in of course
that what I told him was exactly the truth, and that if he got really
dangerous I would tell him and not conceal it. The rule is to remove bad
fever patients out from the main wards to a tent by themselves, and the
doctor told me he would have to be removed. I broke it gently to him, but
the poor boy got it immediately in his head that he was marked with death,
and was to be removed on that account. It had a great effect upon him, and
although I told the truth this time it did not have as good a result as my
former fibs. I persuaded the doctor to let him remain. For three days he
lay just about an even chance, go or stay, with a little leaning toward
the first. But, mother, to make a long story short, he is now out of any
immediate danger. He has been perfectly rational throughout—begins to
taste a little food (for a week he ate nothing; I had to compel him to
take a quarter of an orange now and then), and I will say, whether anyone
calls it pride or not, that if he does get up and around again it’s me
that saved his life. Mother, as I have said in former letters, you can
have no idea how these sick and dying youngsters cling to a fellow, and
how fascinating it is, with all its hospital surroundings of sadness and
scenes of repulsion and death. In this same hospital, Armory-square, where
this cavalry boy is, I have about fifteen or twenty particular cases I see
much to—some of them as much as him. There are two from East Brooklyn;
George Monk, Co. A, 78th N. Y., and Stephen Redgate (his mother is a widow
in East Brooklyn—I have written to her). Both are pretty badly
wounded—both are youngsters under 19. O mother, it seems to me as I go
through these rows of cots as if it was too bad to accept these
children, to subject them to such premature experiences. I devote myself
much to Armory-square hospital because it contains by far the worst cases,
most repulsive wounds, has the most suffering and most need of
consolation. I go every day without fail, and often at night—sometimes
stay very late. No one interferes with me, guards, nurses, doctors, nor
anyone. I am let to take my own course.
Well, mother, I suppose you folks think we are in a somewhat dubious
position here in Washington, with Lee in strong force almost between us
and you Northerners. Well, it does look ticklish; if the Rebs cut the
connection then there will be fun. The Reb cavalry come quite near us,
dash in and steal wagon trains, etc.; it would be funny if they should
come some night to the President’s country house (Soldiers’ home), where
he goes out to sleep every night; it is in the same direction as their
saucy raid last Sunday. Mr. Lincoln passes here (14th st.) every evening
on his way out. I noticed him last evening about half-past 6—he was in
his barouche, two horses, guarded by about thirty cavalry. The barouche
comes first under a slow trot, driven by one man in the box, no servant or
footman beside; the cavalry all follow closely after with a lieutenant at
their head. I had a good view of the President last evening. He looks more
careworn even than usual, his face with deep cut lines, seams, and his
complexion gray through very dark skin—a curious looking man, very sad.
I said to a lady who was looking with me, “Who can see that man without
losing all wish to be sharp upon him personally?” The lady assented,
although she is almost vindictive on the course of the administration
(thinks it wants nerve, etc.—the usual complaint). The equipage is rather
shabby, horses indeed almost what my friends the Broadway drivers would
call old plugs. The President dresses in plain black clothes, cylinder
hat—he was alone yesterday. As he came up, he first drove over to the
house of the Sec. of War, on K st., about 300 feet from here; sat in his
carriage while Stanton came out and had a 15 minutes interview with him (I
can see from my window), and then wheeled around the corner and up
Fourteenth st., the cavalry after him. I really think it would be safer
for him just now to stop at the White House, but I expect he is too proud
to abandon the former custom. Then about an hour after we had a large
cavalry regiment pass, with blankets, arms, etc., on the war march over
the same track. The regt. was very full, over a thousand—indeed thirteen
or fourteen hundred. It was an old regt., veterans, old fighters, young
as they were. They were preceded by a fine mounted band of sixteen (about
ten bugles, the rest cymbals and drums). I tell you, mother, it made
everything ring—made my heart leap. They played with a will. Then the
accompaniment: the sabers rattled on a thousand men’s sides—they had
pistols, their heels were spurred—handsome American young men (I make no
acc’t of any other); rude uniforms, well worn, but good cattle,
prancing—all good riders, full of the devil; nobody shaved, very
sunburnt. The regimental officers (splendidly mounted, but just as roughly
dressed as the men) came immediately after the band, then company after
company, with each its officers at its head—the tramps of so many horses
(there is a good hard turnpike)—then a long train of men with led horses,
mounted negroes, and a long, long string of baggage wagons, each with four
horses, and then a strong rear guard. I tell you it had the look of real
war—noble looking fellows; a man feels so proud on a good horse, and
armed. They are off toward the region of Lee’s (supposed) rendezvous,
toward Susquehannah, for the great anticipated battle. Alas! how many of
these healthy, handsome, rollicking young men will lie cold in death
before the apples ripen in the orchard. Mother, it is curious and stirring
here in some respects. Smaller or larger bodies of troops are moving
continually—many just-well men are turned out of the hospitals. I am
where I see a good deal of them. There are getting to be many black
troops. There is one very good regt. here black as tar; they go around,
have the regular uniform—they submit to no nonsense. Others are
constantly forming. It is getting to be a common sight. [The rest of the
letter is lost.—Ed.]
XVI
Washington, July 10, 1863. Dear Mother—I suppose you rec’d a letter
from me last Wednesday, as I sent you one Tuesday (7th). Dear mother, I
was glad enough to hear from George, by that letter from Snyder’s Bluffs,
June 28th. I had felt a little fear on acc’t of some of those storming
parties Grant sent against Vicksburg the middle of June and up to the
20th—but this letter dispels all anxiety. I have written to George many
times, but it seems he has not got them. Mother, I shall write
immediately to him again. I think he will get the letter I sent last
Sunday, as I directed it to Vicksburg—I told him all the news from home.
Mother, I shall write to Han and enclose George’s letter. I am real glad
to hear from Mat and the little one, all so favorable. We are having
pleasant weather here still. I go to Campbell hospital this afternoon—I
still keep going, mother. The wounded are doing rather badly; I am sorry
to say there are frequent deaths—the weather, I suppose, which has been
peculiarly bad for wounds, so wet and warm (though not disagreeable
outdoors). Mother, you must write as often as you can, and Jeff too—you
must not get worried about the ups and downs of the war; I don’t know any
course but to resign oneself to events—if one can only bring one’s mind
to it. Good-bye once more, for the present, dearest mother, Mat, and the
dear little ones.
Walt.
Mother, do you ever hear from Mary?[16]
XVII
Washington, Wednesday forenoon, July 15, 1863. Dear Mother—So the mob
has risen at last in New York—I have been expecting it, but as the day
for the draft had arrived and everything was so quiet, I supposed all
might go on smoothly; but it seems the passions of the people were only
sleeping, and have burst forth with terrible fury, and they have destroyed
life and property, the enrolment buildings, etc., as we hear. The accounts
we get are a good deal in a muddle, but it seems bad enough. The feeling
here is savage and hot as fire against New York (the mob—“Copperhead mob”
the papers here call it), and I hear nothing in all directions but threats
of ordering up the gunboats, cannonading the city, shooting down the mob,
hanging them in a body, etc., etc. Meantime I remain silent, partly
amused, partly scornful, or occasionally put a dry remark, which only adds
fuel to the flame. I do not feel it in my heart to abuse the poor people,
or call for a rope or bullets for them, but, that is all the talk here,
even in the hospitals. The acc’ts from N. Y. this morning are that the
Gov’t has ordered the draft to be suspended there—I hope it is true, for
I find that the deeper they go in with the draft, the more trouble it is
likely to make. I have changed my opinion and feelings on the subject—we
are in the midst of strange and terrible times—one is pulled a dozen
different ways in his mind, and hardly knows what to think or do. Mother,
I have not much fear that the troubles in New York will affect any of our
family, still I feel somewhat uneasy about Jeff, if any one, as he is more
around. I have had it much on my mind what could be done, if it should so
happen that Jeff should be drafted—of course he could not go without its
being the downfall almost of our whole family, as you may say, Mat and
his young ones, and sad blow to you too, mother, and to all. I didn’t see
any other way than to try to raise the $300, mostly by borrowing if
possible of Mr. Lane. Mother, I have no doubt I shall make a few hundred
dollars by the lectures I shall certainly commence soon (for my hospital
missionary purposes and my own, for that purpose), and I could lend that
am’t to Jeff to pay it back. May-be the draft will not come off after all;
I should say it was very doubtful if they can carry it out in N. Y. and
Brooklyn—and besides, it is only one chance out of several, to be drawn
if it does. I don’t wonder dear brother Jeff feels the effect it would
have on domestic affairs; I think it is right to feel so, full as strongly
as a man can. I do hope all will go well and without such an additional
trouble falling upon us, but as it can be met with money, I hope Jeff and
Mat and all of you, dear mother, will not worry any more about it. I wrote
to Jeff a few lines last Sunday, I suppose he got. Mother, I don’t know
whether you have had a kind of gloomy week the past week, but somehow I
feel as if you all had; but I hope it has passed over. How is dear sister
Mat, and how is Miss Mannahatta, and little Black Head? I sometimes feel
as if I must come home and see you all—I want to very much.
My hospital life still continues the same—I was in Armory all day
yesterday—and day and night before. They have the men wounded in the
railroad accident at Laurel station (bet. here and Baltimore), about 30
soldiers, some of them horribly injured at 3 o’clock A. M. last Saturday
by collision—poor, poor, poor men. I go again this afternoon and night—I
see so much of butcher sights, so much sickness and suffering, I must get
away a while, I believe, for self-preservation. I have felt quite well
though the past week—we have had rain continually. Mother, I have not
heard from George since, have you? I shall write Han to-day and send
George’s letter—if you or Jeff has not written this week, I hope Jeff
will write on receiving this. Good-bye for present, dearest mother, and
Jeff, and Mat.
Walt.
Mother, the army is to be paid off two months more, right away. Of course
George will get two months more pay. Dear Mother, I hope you will keep
untouched and put in bank every cent you can. I want us to have a ranch
somewhere by or before next spring.
XVIII
Washington, Aug. 11, 1863. Dear Mother—I sent Jeff a letter on
Sunday—I suppose he got it at the office. I feel so anxious to hear from
George; one cannot help feeling uneasy, although these days sometimes it
cannot help being long intervals without one’s hearing from friends in
the army. O I do hope we shall hear soon, and that it is all right with
him. It seems as if the 9th Corps had returned to Vicksburg, and some
acc’ts say that part of the Corps had started to come up the river
again—toward Kentucky, I suppose. I have sent George two letters within a
week past, hoping they might have the luck to get to him, but hardly
expect it either.
Mother, I feel very sorry to hear Andrew is so troubled in his throat yet.
I know it must make you feel very unhappy. Jeff wrote me a good deal about
it, and seems to feel very bad about Andrew’s being unwell; but I hope it
will go over, and that a little time will make him recover—I think about
it every day.
Mother, it has been the hottest weather here that I ever experienced, and
still continues so. Yesterday and last night was the hottest. Still, I
slept sound, have good ventilation through my room, little as it is (I
still hire the same room in L street). I was quite wet with sweat this
morning when I woke up, a thing I never remember to have happened to me
before, for I was not disturbed in my sleep and did not wake up once all
night. Mother, I believe I did not tell you that on the 1st of June (or a
while before) the O’Connors, the friends I took my meals with so long,
moved to other apartments for more room and pleasanter—not far off
though, I am there every day almost, a little—so for nearly two months
and a half I have been in the habit of getting my own breakfast in my room
and my dinner at a restaurant. I have a little spirit lamp, and always
have a capital cup of tea, and some bread, and perhaps some preserved
fruit; for dinner I get a good plate of meat and plenty of potatoes, good
and plenty for 25 or 30 cents. I hardly ever take any thing more than
these two meals, both of them are pretty hearty—eat dinner about 3—my
appetite is plenty good enough, and I am about as fleshy as I was in
Brooklyn. Mother, I feel better the last ten days, and at present, than I
did the preceding six or eight weeks. There was nothing particular the
matter with me, but I suppose a different climate and being so continually
in the hospitals—but as I say, I feel better, more strength, and better
in my head, etc. About the wound in my hand and the inflammation, etc., it
has thoroughly healed, and I have not worn anything on my hand, nor had
any dressing for the last five days. Mother, I hope you get along with the
heat, for I see it is as bad or worse in New York and Brooklyn—I am
afraid you suffer from it; it must be distressing to you. Dear mother, do
let things go, and just sit still and fan yourself. I think about you
these hot days. I fancy I see you down there in the basement. I suppose
you have your coffee for breakfast; I have not had three cups of coffee in
six months—tea altogether (I must come home and have some coffee for
breakfast with you).
Mother, I wrote to you about Erastus Haskell, Co. K, 141st, N. Y.—his
father, poor old man, come on here to see him and found him dead three
days. He had the body embalmed and took home. They are poor folks but very
respectable. I was at the hospital yesterday as usual—I never miss a day.
I go by my feelings—if I should feel that it would be better for me to
lay by for a while, I should do so, but not while I feel so well as I do
the past week, for all the hot weather; and while the chance lasts I would
improve it, for by and by the night cometh when no man can work (ain’t I
getting pious!). I got a letter from Probasco yesterday; he sent $4 for my
sick and wounded—I wish Jeff to tell him that it came right, and give him
the men’s thanks and my love.
Mother, have you heard anything from Han? And about Mary’s Fanny—I hope
you will write me soon and tell me everything, tell me exactly as things
are, but I know you will—I want to hear family affairs before anything
else. I am so glad to hear Mat is good and hearty—you must write me about
Hat and little Black Head too. Mother, how is Eddy getting along? and
Jess, is he about the same? I suppose Will Brown is home all right; tell
him I spoke about him, and the Browns too. Dearest Mother, I send you my
love, and to Jeff too—must write when you can.
Walt.
XIX
Washington, Aug. 18, 1863. Dear Mother—I was mighty glad to get
George’s letter, I can tell you—you have not heard since, I suppose. They
must be now back again in Kentucky, or that way, as I see [by] a letter
from Cairo (up the Mississippi river) that boats had stopt there with the
9th Corps on from Vicksburg, going up towards Cincinnati—I think the
letter was dated Aug. 10. I have no doubt they are back again up that way
somewhere. I wrote to George four or five days ago—I directed it Ohio,
Mississippi, or elsewhere. Mother, I was very glad indeed to get your
letter—I am so sorry Andrew does not get any better; it is very
distressing about losing the voice; he must not be so much alarmed, as
that continues some times years and the health otherwise good. ..........
Mother, I wrote to Han about five days ago; told her we had heard from
George, and all the news—I must write to Mary too, without fail—I should
like to hear from them all, and from Fanny. There has been a young man
here in hospital, from Farmingdale; he was wounded; his name is
Hendrickson; he has gone home on a furlough; he knows the Van Nostrands
very well—I told him to go and see Aunt Fanny. I was glad you gave Emma
Price my direction here; I should [like] to hear from Mrs. Price and her
girls first rate, I think a great deal about them—and mother, I wish you
to tell any of them so; they always used me first rate, and always stuck
up for me—if I knew their street and number I should write.
It has been awful hot here now for twenty-one days; ain’t that a spell of
weather? The first two weeks I got along better than I would have thought,
but the last week I have felt it more, have felt it in my head a little—I
no more stir without my umbrella, in the day time, than I would without my
boots. I am afraid of the sun affecting my head and move pretty cautious.
Mother, I think every day, I wonder if the hot weather is affecting mother
much; I suppose it must a good deal, but I hope it cannot last much
longer. Mother, I had a letter in the N. Y. Times of last Sunday—did
you see it? I wonder if George can’t get a furlough and come home for a
while; that furlough he had was only a flea-bite. If he could it would be
no more than right, for no man in the country has done his duty more
faithful, and without complaining of anything or asking for anything, than
George. I suppose they will fill up the 51st with conscripts, as that
seems the order of the day—a good many are arriving here, from the North,
and passing through to join Meade’s army. We are expecting to hear of more
rows in New York about the draft; it commences there right away I
see—this time it will be no such doings as a month or five weeks ago; the
Gov’t here is forwarding a large force of regulars to New York to be ready
for anything that may happen—there will be no blank cartridges this time.
Well, I thought when I first heard of the riot in N. Y. I had some
feeling for them, but soon as I found what it really was, I felt it was
the devil’s own work all through. I guess the strong arm will be exhibited
this time up to the shoulder. Mother, I want to see you and all very much.
As I wish to be here at the opening of Congress, and during the winter, I
have an idea I will try to come home for a month, but I don’t know when—I
want to see the young ones and Mat and Jeff and everybody. Well, mother, I
should like to know all the domestic affairs at home; don’t you have the
usual things eating, etc.? Why, mother, I should think you would eat
nearly all your meals with Mat—I know you must when they have anything
good (and I know Mat will have good things if she has got a cent left).
Mother, don’t you miss Walt loafing around, and carting himself off to
New York toward the latter part of every afternoon? How do you and the
Browns get along?—that hell hole over the way, what a nuisance it must be
nights, and I generally have a very good sleep. Mother, I suppose you
sleep in the back room yet—I suppose the new houses next door are
occupied. How I should like to take a walk on old Fort Greene—tell
Mannahatta her Uncle Walt will be home yet, from the sick soldiers, and
have a good walk all around, if she behaves to her grandmother and don’t
cut up. Mother, I am scribbling this hastily in Major Hapgood’s office; it
is not so hot to-day, quite endurable. I send you my love, dear mother,
and to all, and wish Jeff and you to write as often as you can.
Walt.
XX
Washington, Aug. 25, 1863. Dear Mother—The letter from George, and your
lines, and a few from Jeff came yesterday, and I was glad indeed to be
certain that George had got back to Kentucky safe and well—while so many
fall that we know, or, what is about as bad, get sick or hurt in the
fight, and lay in hospital, it seems almost a miracle that George should
have gone through so much, South and North and East and West, and been in
so many hard-fought battles, and thousands of miles of weary and
exhausting marches, and yet have stood it so, and be yet alive and in good
health and spirits. O mother, what would we [have] done if it had been
otherwise—if he had met the fate of so many we know—if he had been
killed or badly hurt in some of those battles? I get thinking about it
sometimes, and it works upon me so I have to stop and turn my mind on
something else. Mother, I feel bad enough about Andrew, and I know it must
be so with you too—one don’t know what to do; if we had money he would be
welcome to it, if it would do any good. If George’s money comes from
Kentucky this last time, and you think some of it would do Andrew any real
good, I advise you to take some and give him—I think it would be proper
and George would approve of it. I believe there is not much but trouble
in this world, and if one hasn’t any for himself he has it made up by
having it brought close to him through others, and that is sometimes worse
than to have it touch one’s self. Mother, you must not let Andrew’s case
and the poor condition of his household comforts, etc., work upon you, for
I fear you will—but, mother, it’s no use to worry about such things. I
have seen so much horrors that befall men (so bad and such suffering and
mutilations, etc., that the poor men can defy their fate to do anything
more or any harder misfortune or worse a-going) that I sometimes think I
have grown callous—but no, I don’t think it is that, but nothing of
ordinary misfortune seems as it used to, and death itself has lost all its
terrors—I have seen so many cases in which it was so welcome and such a
relief.
Mother, you must just resign yourself to things that occur—but I hardly
think it is necessary to give you any charge about it, for I think you
have done so for many years, and stood it all with good courage.
We have a second attack of hot weather—Sunday was the most burning day I
ever yet saw. It is very dry and dusty here, but to-day we are having a
middling good breeze—I feel pretty well, and whenever the weather for a
day or so is passably cool I feel really first rate, so I anticipate the
cooler season with pleasure. Mother, I believe I wrote to you I had a
letter in N. Y. Times, Sunday, 16th—I shall try to write others and
more frequently. The three Eagles came safe; I was glad to get them—I
sent them and another paper to George. Mother, none of you ever mention
whether you get my letters, but I suppose they come safe—it is not
impossible I may miss some week, but I have not missed a single one for
months past. I wish I could send you something worth while, and I wish I
could send something for Andrew—mother, write me exactly how it is with
him.... Mother, I have some idea Han is getting some better; it is only my
idea somehow—I hope it is so from the bottom of my heart. Did you hear
from Mary’s Fanny since? And how are Mat’s girls? So, Mannahatta, you tear
Uncle George’s letters, do you? You mustn’t do so, little girl, nor Uncle
Walt’s either; but when you get to be a big girl you must have them all
nice, and read them, for Grandmother will perhaps leave them to you in her
will, if you behave like a lady. Matty, my dear sister, how are you
getting along? I really want to see you bad, and the baby too—well,
may-be we shall all come together and have some good times yet. Jeff, I
hope by next week this time we shall be in possession of Charleston—some
papers say Burnside is moving for Knoxville, but it is doubtful—I think
the 9th Corps might take a rest awhile, anyhow. Good-bye, mother.
Walt.
XXI
Washington, Sept. 1, 1863. Dear Mother—I have been thinking to-day and
all yesterday about the draft in Brooklyn, and whether Jeff would be
drafted; you must some of you write me just as soon as you get this—I
want to know; I feel anxious enough I can tell you—and besides, it seems
a good while since I have received any letters from home. Of course it is
impossible for Jeff to go, in case it should turn out he was drafted—the
way our family is all situated now, it would be madness. If the Common
Council raise the money to exempt men with families dependent on them, I
think Jeff ought to have no scruples in taking advantage of it, as I think
he is in duty bound—but we will see what course to take, when we know the
result, etc.; write about it right away.
The Eagles came; this is the second time; I am glad to get them—Jeff,
wait till you get four or five, and then send them with a two-cent stamp.
I have not had any letter from George. Mother, have you heard anything?
did the money come? Dear mother, how are you nowadays? I do hope you feel
well and in good spirits—I think about you every day of my life out here.
Sometimes I see women in the hospitals, mothers come to see their sons,
and occasionally one that makes me think of my dear mother—one did very
much, a lady about 60, from Pennsylvania, come to see her son, a captain,
very badly wounded and his wound gangrened, and they after a while
removed him to a tent by himself. Another son of hers, a young man, came
with her to see his brother. She was a pretty full-sized lady, with
spectacles; she dressed in black—looked real Velsory.[17] I got very well
acquainted with her; she had a real Long Island old-fashioned way—but I
had to avoid the poor captain, as it was that time that my hand was cut in
the artery, and I was liable to gangrene myself—but she and the two sons
have gone home now, but I doubt whether the wounded one is alive, as he
was very low. Mother, I want to hear about Andrew too, whether he went to
Rockland lake. You have no idea how many soldiers there are who have lost
their voices, and have to speak in whispers—there are a great many, I
meet some almost every day; as far as that alone is concerned, Andrew must
not be discouraged, as the general health may be good as common
irrespective of that. I do hope Andrew will get along better than he
thinks for—it is bad enough for a poor man to be out of health even
partially, but he must try to look on the bright side. Mother, have you
heard anything from Han since, or from Mary’s folks? I got a letter from
Mrs. Price last week; if you see Emma tell her I was pleased to get it,
and shall answer it very soon. Mother, I have sent another letter to the
N. Y. Times—it may appear, if not to-day, within a few days. I am
feeling excellent well these days, it is so moderate and pleasant weather
now; I was getting real exhausted with the heat. I thought of you too, how
it must have exhausted you those hot days. I still occupy the same 3rd
story room, 394 L st., and get my breakfast in my room in the morning
myself, and dinner at a restaurant about 3 o’clock—I get along very well
and very economical (which is a forced put, but just as well). But I must
get another room or a boarding-house soon, as the folks are all going to
move this month. My good and real friends the O’Connors live in the same
block; I am in there every day. Dear mother, tell Mat and Miss Mannahatta
I send them my love—I want to see them both. O how I want to see Jeff and
you, mother; I sometimes feel as if I should just get in the cars and come
home—and the baby too, you must always write about her. Dear mother,
good-bye for present.
Walt.
XXII
Washington, Sept. 8, 1863, Tuesday morning. Dearest Mother—I wrote to
Jeff Sunday last that his letter sent Sept. 3rd, containing your letter
and $5 from Mr. Lane, had miscarried—this morning when I came down to
Major Hapgood’s office I found it on my table, so it is all
right—singular where it has been all this while, as I see the postmark on
it is Brooklyn, Sept. 3, as Jeff said. Mother, what to do about Andrew I
hardly know—as it is I feel about as much pity for you as I do for my
poor brother Andrew, for I know you will worry yourself about him all the
time. I was in hopes it was only the trouble about the voice, etc., but I
see I was mistaken, and it is probably worse. I know you and Jeff and Mat
will do all you can—and will have patience with all (it is not only the
sick who are poorly off, but their friends; but it is best to have the
greatest forbearance, and do and give, etc., whatever one can—but you
know that, and practice it too, dear mother). Mother, if I had the means,
O how cheerfully I would give them, whether they availed anything for
Andrew or not—yet I have long made up my mind that money does not amount
to so much, at least not so very much, in serious cases of sickness; it is
judgment both in the person himself, and in those he has to do with—and
good heart in everything. (Mother, you remember Theodore Gould, how he
stuck it out, though sickness and death has had hold of him, as you may
say, for fifteen years.) But anyhow, I hope we will all do what we can for
Andrew. Mother, I think I must try to come home for a month—I have not
given up my project of lecturing I spoke about before, but shall put it in
practice yet; I feel clear it will succeed enough. (I wish I had some of
the money already; it would be satisfaction to me to contribute something
to Andrew’s necessities, for he must have bread.) I will write to you, of
course, before I come. Mother, I hope you will live better—Jeff tells me
you and Jess and Ed live on poor stuff, you are so economical. Mother, you
mustn’t do so as long as you have a cent—I hope you will, at least four
or five times a week, have a steak of beef or mutton, or something
substantial for dinner. I have one good meal of that kind every day, or at
least five or six days out of the seven—but for breakfast I have nothing
but a cup of tea and some bread or crackers (first-rate tea though, with
milk and good white sugar). Well, I find it is hearty enough—more than
half the time I never eat anything after dinner, and when I do it is only
a cracker and cup of tea. Mother, I hope you will not stint yourselves—as
to using George’s money for your and Jess’s and Ed’s needful living
expenses, I know George would be mad and hurt in his feelings if he
thought you was afraid to. Mother, you have a comfortable time as much as
you can, and get a steak occasionally, won’t you? I suppose Mat got her
letter last Saturday; I sent it Friday. O I was so pleased that Jeff was
not drawn, and I know how Mat must have felt too; I have no idea the
Government will try to draft again, whatever happens—they have carried
their point, but have not made much out of it. O how the conscripts and
substitutes are deserting down in front and on their way there—you don’t
hear anything about it, but it is incredible—they don’t allow it to get
in the papers. Mother, I was so glad to get your letter; you must write
again—can’t you write to-morrow, so I can get it Friday or
Saturday?—you know though you wrote more than a week ago I did not get it
till this morning. I wish Jeff to write too, as often as he can. Mother, I
was gratified to hear you went up among the soldiers—they are rude in
appearance, but they know what is decent, and it pleases them much to have
folks, even old women, take an interest and come among them. Mother, you
must go again, and take Mat. Well, dear mother, I must close. I am first
rate in health, so much better than a month and two months ago—my hand
has entirely healed. I go to hospital every day or night—I believe no men
ever loved each other as I and some of these poor wounded sick and dying
men love each other. Good-bye, dearest mother, for present.
Walt.
Tuesday afternoon. Mother, it seems to be certain that Meade has gained
the day, and that the battles there in Pennsylvania have been about as
terrible as any in the war—I think the killed and wounded there on both
sides were as many as eighteen or twenty thousand—in one place, four or
five acres, there were a thousand dead at daybreak on Saturday morning.
Mother, one’s heart grows sick of war, after all, when you see what it
really is; every once in a while I feel so horrified and disgusted—it
seems to me like a great slaughter-house and the men mutually butchering
each other—then I feel how impossible it appears, again, to retire from
this contest, until we have carried our points (it is cruel to be so
tossed from pillar to post in one’s judgment). Washington is a pleasant
place in some respects—it has the finest trees, and plenty of them
everywhere, on the streets and grounds. The Capitol grounds, though small,
have the finest cultivated trees I ever see—there is a great variety, and
not one but is in perfect condition. After I finish this letter I am going
out there for an hour’s recreation. The great sights of Washington are the
public buildings, the wide streets, the public grounds, the trees, the
Smithsonian institute and grounds. I go to the latter occasionally—the
institute is an old fogy concern, but the grounds are fine. Sometimes I go
up to Georgetown, about two and a half miles up the Potomac, an old
town—just opposite it in the river is an island, where the niggers have
their first Washington reg’t encamped. They make a good show, are often
seen in the streets of Washington in squads. Since they have begun to
carry arms, the Secesh here and in Georgetown (about three fifths) are not
insulting to them as formerly.
One of the things here always on the go is long trains of army
wagons—sometimes they will stream along all day; it almost seems as if
there was nothing else but army wagons and ambulances. They have great
camps here in every direction, of army wagons, teamsters, ambulance camps,
etc.; some of them are permanent, and have small hospitals. I go to them
(as no one else goes; ladies would not venture). I sometimes have the
luck to give some of the drivers a great deal of comfort and help. Indeed,
mother, there are camps here of everything—I went once or twice to the
contraband camp, to the hospital, etc., but I could not bring myself to go
again—when I meet black men or boys among my own hospitals, I use them
kindly, give them something, etc.—I believe I told you that I do the same
to the wounded Rebels, too—but as there is a limit to one’s sinews and
endurance and sympathies, etc., I have got in the way, after going
lightly, as it were, all through the wards of a hospital, and trying to
give a word of cheer, if nothing else, to every one, then confining my
special attentions to the few where the investment seems to tell best, and
who want it most. Mother, I have real pride in telling you that I have the
consciousness of saving quite a number of lives by saving them from giving
up—and being a good deal with them; the men say it is so, and the doctors
say it is so—and I will candidly confess I can see it is true, though I
say it of myself. I know you will like to hear it, mother, so I tell you.
I am finishing this in Major Hapgood’s office, about 1 o’clock—it is
pretty warm, but has not cleared off yet. The trees look so well from
where I am, and the Potomac—it is a noble river; I see it several miles,
and the Arlington heights. Mother, I see some of the 47th Brooklyn every
day or two; the reg’t is on the heights back of Arlington house, a fine
camp ground. O Matty, I have just thought of you—dear sister, how are
you getting along? Jeff, I will write you truly. Good-bye for the
present, dearest mother, and all.
Walt.
XXIII
Washington, Sept. 15, 1863. Dear Mother—Your letters were very
acceptable—one came just as I was putting my last in the post office—I
guess they all come right. I have written to Han and George and sent
George papers. Mother, have you heard anything whether the 51st went on
with Burnside, or did they remain as a reserve in Kentucky? Burnside has
managed splendidly so far, his taking Knoxville and all together—it is a
first-class success. I have known Tennessee Union men here in hospital,
and I understand it, therefore—the region where Knoxville is is mainly
Union, but the Southerners could not exist without it, as it is in their
midst, so they determined to pound and kill and crush out the
Unionists—all the savage and monstrous things printed in the papers about
their treatment are true, at least that kind of thing is, as bad as the
Irish in the mob treated the poor niggers in New York. We North don’t
understand some things about Southerners; it is very strange, the
contrast—if I should pick out the most genuine Union men and real
patriots I have ever met in all my experience, I should pick out two or
three Tennessee and Virginia Unionists I have met in the hospitals,
wounded or sick. One young man I guess I have mentioned to you in my
letters, John Barker, 2nd Tennessee Vol. (Union), was a long while a
prisoner in Secesh prisons in Georgia, and in Richmond—three times the
devils hung him up by the heels to make him promise to give up his
Unionism; once he was cut down for dead. He is a young married man with
one child. His little property destroyed, his wife and child turned
out—he hunted and tormented—and any moment he could have had anything if
he would join the Confederacy—but he was firm as a rock; he would not
even take an oath to not fight for either side. They held him about eight
months—then he was very sick, scurvy, and they exchanged him and he came
up from Richmond here to hospital; here I got acquainted with him. He is a
large, slow, good-natured man, somehow made me often think of father;
shrewd, very little to say—wouldn’t talk to anybody but me. His whole
thought was to get back and fight; he was not fit to go, but he has gone
back to Tennessee. He spent two days with his wife and young one there,
and then to his regiment—he writes to me frequently and I to him; he is
not fit to soldier, for the Rebels have destroyed his health and strength
(though he is only 23 or 4), but nothing will keep him from his regiment,
and fighting—he is uneducated, but as sensible a young man as I ever met,
and understands the whole question. Well, mother, Jack Barker is the most
genuine Union man I have ever yet met. I asked him once very gravely why
he didn’t take the Southern oath and get his liberty—if he didn’t think
he was foolish to be so stiff, etc. I never saw such a look as he gave me,
he thought I was in earnest—the old devil himself couldn’t have had put a
worse look in his eyes. Mother, I have no doubt there are quite a good
many just such men. He is down there with his regiment (one of his
brothers was killed)—when he fails in strength he gets the colonel to
detach him to do teamster’s duty for a few days, on a march till he
recruits his strength—but he always carries his gun with him—in a battle
he is always in the ranks—then he is so sensible, such decent manly ways,
nothing shallow or mean (he must have been a giant in health, but now he
is weaker, has a cough too). Mother, can you wonder at my getting so
attached to such men, with such love, especially when they show it to
me—some of them on their dying beds, and in the very hour of death, or
just the same when they recover, or partially recover? I never knew what
American young men were till I have been in the hospitals. Well, mother, I
have got writing on—there is nothing new with me, just the same old
thing, as I suppose it is with you there. Mother, how is Andrew? I wish to
hear all about him—I do hope he is better, and that it will not prove
anything so bad. I will write to him soon myself, but in the meantime you
must tell him to not put so much faith in medicine—drugs, I mean—as in
the true curative things; namely, diet and careful habits, breathing good
air, etc. You know I wrote in a former letter what is the cause and
foundation of the diseases of the throat and what must be the remedy that
goes to the bottom of the thing—sudden attacks are to be treated with
applications and medicines, but diseases of a seated character are not to
be cured by them, only perhaps a little relieved (and often aggravated,
made firmer).
Dearest mother, I hope you yourself are well, and getting along good.
About the letter in the Times, I see ever since I sent they have been
very crowded with news that must be printed—I think they will give it
yet. I hear there is a new paper in Brooklyn, or to be one—I wish Jeff
would send me some of the first numbers without fail, and a stray Eagle
in same parcel to make up the 4 ounces. I am glad to hear Mat was going to
write me a good long letter—every letter from home is so good, when one
is away (I often see the men crying in the hospital when they get a
letter). Jeff too, I want him to write whenever he can, and not forget the
new paper. We are having pleasant weather here; it is such a relief from
that awful heat (I can’t think of another such siege without feeling sick
at the thought).
Mother, I believe I told you I had written to Mrs. Price—do you see Emma?
Are the soldiers still on Fort Greene? Well, mother, I have writ quite a
letter—it is between 2 and 3 o’clock—I am in Major Hapgood’s all
alone—from my window I see all the Potomac, and all around
Washington—Major and all gone down to the army to pay troops, and I keep
house. I am invited to dinner to-day at 4 o’clock at a Mr. Boyle’s—I am
going (hope we shall have something good). Dear mother, I send you my
love, and some to Jeff and Mat and all, not forgetting Mannahatta (who I
hope is a help and comfort to her grandmother). Well, I must scratch off
in a hurry, for it is nearly an hour [later] than I thought. Good-bye for
the present, dear mother.
Walt.
XXIV
Washington, Sept. 29, 1863. Dear Mother—Well, here I sit this forenoon
in a corner by the window in Major Hapgood’s office, all the Potomac, and
Maryland, and Virginia hills in sight, writing my Tuesday letter to you,
dearest mother. Major has gone home to Boston on sick leave, and only the
clerk and me occupy the office, and he not much of the time. At the
present moment there are two wounded officers come in to get their
pay—one has crutches; the other is drest in the light-blue uniform of the
invalid corps. Way up here on the 5th floor it is pretty hard scratching
for cripples and very weak men to journey up here—often they come up here
very weary and faint, and then find out they can’t get their money, some
red-tape hitch, and the poor soldiers look so disappointed—it always
makes me feel bad.
Mother, we are having perfect weather here nowadays, both night and day.
The nights are wonderful; for the last three nights as I have walked home
from the hospital pretty late, it has seemed to me like a dream, the moon
and sky ahead of anything I ever see before. Mother, do you hear anything
from George? I wrote to him yesterday and sent him your last letter, and
Jeff’s enclosed—I shall send him some papers to-day—I send him papers
quite often. (Why hasn’t Jeff sent me the Union with my letter in? I
want much to see it, and whether they have misprinted it.)
Mother, I don’t think the 51st has been in any of the fighting we know of
down there yet—what is to come of course nobody can tell. As to Burnside,
I suppose you know he is among his friends, and I think this quite
important, for such the main body of East Tennesseans are, and are far
truer Americans anyhow than the Copperheads of the North. The Tennesseans
will fight for us too. Mother, you have no idea how the soldiers, sick,
etc. (I mean the American ones, to a man) all feel about the Copperheads;
they never speak of them without a curse, and I hear them say, with an air
that shows they mean it, they would shoot them sooner than they would a
Rebel. Mother, the troops from Meade’s army are passing through here night
and day, going West and so down to reinforce Rosecrans I suppose—the
papers are not permitted to mention it, but it is so. Two Army Corps, I
should think, have mostly passed—they go through night and day—I hear
the whistle of the locomotive screaming away any time at night when I wake
up, and the rumbling of the trains.
Mother dear, you must write to me soon, and so must Jeff. I thought Mat
was going to send me a great long letter—I am always looking for it; I
hope it will be full of everything about family matters and doings, and
how everybody really is. I go to Major’s box three or four times a day. I
want to hear also about Andrew, and indeed about every one of you and
everything—nothing is too trifling, nothing uninteresting.
O mother, who do you think I got a letter from, two or three days ago?
Aunt Fanny, Ansel’s mother—she sent it by a young man, a wounded soldier
who has been home to Farmingdale on furlough, and lately returned. She
writes a first-rate letter, Quaker all over—I shall answer it. She says
Mary and Ansel and all are well. I have received another letter from Mrs.
Price—she has not good health. I am sorry for her from my heart; she is a
good, noble woman, no better kind. Mother, I am in the hospitals as
usual—I stand it better the last three weeks than ever before—I go among
the worst fevers and wounds with impunity. I go among the smallpox, etc.,
just the same—I feel to go without apprehension, and so I go. Nobody else
goes; and as the darkey said there at Charleston when the boat run on a
flat and the Reb sharpshooters were peppering them, “somebody must jump in
de water and shove de boat off.”
Walt.
XXV
Washington, Oct. 6, 1863. Dearest Mother—Your letter and George’s came
safe—dear brother George, one don’t more than get a letter from him
before you want to hear again, especially as things are looking pretty
stormy that way—but mother, I rather lean to the opinion that the 51st is
still in Kentucky, at or near where George last wrote; but of course that
is only my guess. I send George papers and occasionally letters. Mother, I
sent him enclosed your letter before the last, though you said in it not
to tell him how much money he had home, as you wanted to surprise him; but
I sent it. Mother, I think Rosecrans and Burnside will be too much for the
Rebels down there yet. I myself make a great acc’t of Burnside being in
the midst of friends, and such friends too—they will fight and fight up
to the handle, and kill somebody (it seems as if it was coming to that
pass where we will either have to destroy or be destroyed). Mother, I wish
you would write soon after you get this, or Jeff or Mat must, and tell me
about Andrew, if there is anything different with him—I think about him
every day and night. I believe I must come home, even if it is only for a
week—I want to see you all very much. Mother, I know you must have a
great deal to harass and trouble you; I don’t mean about Andrew
personally, for I know you would feel to give your life to save his, and
do anything to nourish him, but about the children and Nancy—but, mother,
you must not let anything chafe you, and you must not be squeamish about
saying firmly at times not to have little Georgy too much to trouble you
(poor little fellow, I have no doubt he will be a pleasanter child when he
grows older); and while you are pleasant with Nancy you must be
sufficiently plain with her—only, mother, I know you will, and Jeff and
Mat will too, be invariably good to Andrew, and not mind his being
irritable at times; it is his disease, and then his temper is naturally
fretful, but it is such a misfortune to have such sickness—and always do
anything for him that you can in reason. Mat, my dear sister, I know you
will, for I know your nature is to come out a first-class girl in times of
trouble and sickness, and do anything. Mother, you don’t know how pleased
I was to read what you wrote about little Sis. I want to see her so bad I
don’t know what to do; I know she must be just the best young one on Long
Island—but I hope it will not be understood as meaning any slight or
disrespect to Miss Hat, nor to put her nose out of joint, because Uncle
Walt, I hope, has heart and gizzard big enough for both his little nieces
and as many more as the Lord may send.
Mother, I am writing this in Major Hapgood’s office, as usual. I am all
alone to-day—Major is still absent, unwell, and the clerk is away
somewhere. O how pleasant it is here—the weather I mean—and other things
too, for that matter. I still occupy my little room, 394 L st.; get my own
breakfast there; had good tea this morning, and some nice biscuit
(yesterday morning and day before had peaches cut up). My friends the
O’Connors that I wrote about recommenced cooking the 1st of this month
(they have been, as usual in summer, taking their meals at a family hotel
near by). Saturday they sent for me to breakfast, and Sunday I eat dinner
with them—very good dinner, roast beef, lima beans, good potatoes, etc.
They are truly friends to me. I still get my dinner at a restaurant
usually. I have a very good plain dinner, which is the only meal of any
account I make during the day; but it is just as well, for I would be in
danger of getting fat on the least encouragement, and I have no ambition
that way. Mother, it is lucky I like Washington in many respects, and that
things are upon the whole pleasant personally, for every day of my life I
see enough to make one’s heart ache with sympathy and anguish here in the
hospitals, and I do not know as I could stand it if it was not
counterbalanced outside. It is curious, when I am present at the most
appalling things—deaths, operations, sickening wounds (perhaps full of
maggots)—I do not fail, although my sympathies are very much excited, but
keep singularly cool; but often hours afterward, perhaps when I am home
or out walking alone, I feel sick and actually tremble when I recall the
thing and have it in my mind again before me. Mother, did you see my
letter in the N. Y. Times of Sunday, Oct. 4? That was the long-delayed
letter. Mother, I am very sorry Jeff did not send me the Union with my
letter in—I wish very much he could do so yet; and always when I have a
letter in a paper I would like to have one sent. If you take the Union,
send me some once in a while. Mother, was it Will Brown sent me those?
Tell him if so I was much obliged; and if he or Mr. and Mrs. Brown take
any interest in hearing my scribblings, mother, you let them read the
letters, of course. O, I must not close without telling you the highly
important intelligence that I have cut my hair and beard—since the event
Rosecrans, Charleston, etc., etc., have among my acquaintances been hardly
mentioned, being insignificant themes in comparison. Jeff, my dearest
brother, I have been going to write you a good gossipy letter for two or
three weeks past; will try to yet, so it will reach you for Sunday
reading—so good-bye, Jeff, and good-bye for present, mother dear, and
all, and tell Andrew he must not be discouraged yet.
Walt.
XXVI
Washington, Oct. 11, 1863. Dear Friend[18]—Your letters were both
received, and were indeed welcome. Don’t mind my not answering them
promptly, for you know what a wretch I am about such things. But you must
write just as often as you conveniently can. Tell me all about your folks,
especially the girls, and about Mr. A. Of course you won’t forget
Arthur,[19] and always when you write to him send my love. Tell me about
Mrs. U. and the dear little rogues. Tell Mrs. B. she ought to be here,
hospital matron, only it is a harder pull than folks anticipate. You wrote
about Emma;[20] she thinks she might and ought to come as nurse for the
soldiers. Dear girl, I know it would be a blessed thing for the men to
have her loving spirit and hand, and whoever of the poor fellows had them
would indeed think it so. But, my darling, it is a dreadful thing—you
don’t know these wounds, sickness, etc., the sad condition in which many
of the men are brought here, and remain for days; sometimes the wounds
full of crawling corruption, etc. Down in the field-hospitals in front
they have no proper care (can’t have), and after a battle go for many days
unattended to.
Abby, I think often about you and the pleasant days, the visits I used to
pay you, and how good it was always to be made so welcome. O, I wish I
could come in this afternoon and have a good tea with you, and have three
or four hours of mutual comfort, and rest and talk, and be all of us
together again. Is Helen home and well? and what is she doing now? And
you, my dear friend, how sorry I am to hear that your health is not
rugged—but, dear Abby, you must not dwell on anticipations of the worst
(but I know that is not your nature, or did not use to be). I hope this
will find you quite well and in good spirits. I feel so well myself—I
will have to come and see you, I think—I am so fat, out considerable in
the open air, and all red and tanned worse than ever. You see, therefore,
that my life amid these sad and death-stricken hospitals has not told upon
me, for I am this fall so running over with health, and I feel as if I
ought to go on, on that account, working among all the sick and deficient;
and O how gladly I would bestow upon you a liberal share of my health,
dear Abby, if such a thing were possible.
I am continually moving around among the hospitals. One I go to oftenest
the last three months is “Armory-square,” as it is large, generally full
of the worst wounds and sickness, and is among the least visited. To this
or some other I never miss a day or evening. I am enabled to give the men
something, and perhaps some trifle to their supper all around. Then there
are always special cases calling for something special. Above all the poor
boys welcome magnetic friendship, personality (some are so fervent, so
hungering for this)—poor fellows, how young they are, lying there with
their pale faces, and that mute look in their eyes. O, how one gets to
love them—often, particular cases, so suffering, so good, so manly and
affectionate! Abby, you would all smile to see me among them—many of them
like children. Ceremony is mostly discarded—they suffer and get exhausted
and so weary—not a few are on their dying beds—lots of them have grown
to expect, as I leave at night, that we should kiss each other, sometimes
quite a number; I have to go round, poor boys. There is little petting in
a soldier’s life in the field, but, Abby, I know what is in their hearts,
always waiting, though they may be unconscious of it themselves.
I have a place where I buy very nice homemade biscuits, sweet crackers,
etc. Among others, one of my ways is to get a good lot of these, and, for
supper, go through a couple of wards and give a portion to each man—next
day two wards more, and so on. Then each marked case needs something to
itself. I spend my evenings altogether at the hospitals—my days often. I
give little gifts of money in small sums, which I am enabled to do—all
sorts of things indeed, food, clothing, letter-stamps (I write lots of
letters), now and then a good pair of crutches, etc., etc. Then I read to
the boys. The whole ward that can walk gathers around me and listens.
All this I tell you, my dear, because I know it will interest you. I like
Washington very well. (Did you see my last letter in the New York Times
of October 4th, Sunday?) I have three or four hours’ work every day
copying, and in writing letters for the press, etc.; make enough to pay my
way—live in an inexpensive manner anyhow. I like the mission I am on
here, and as it deeply holds me I shall continue.
October 15. Well, Abby, I guess I send you letter enough. I ought to
have finished and sent off the letter last Sunday, when it was written. I
have been pretty busy. We are having new arrivals of wounded and sick now
all the time—some very bad cases. Abby, should you come across any one
who feels to help contribute to the men through me, write me. (I may then
send word some purchases I should find acceptable for the men). But this
only if it happens to come in that you know or meet any one, perfectly
convenient. Abby, I have found some good friends here, a few, but true as
steel—W. D. O’Connor and wife above all. He is a clerk in the
Treasury—she is a Yankee girl. Then C. W. Eldridge[21] in Paymaster’s
Department. He is a Boston boy, too—their friendship has been unswerving.
In the hospitals, among these American young men, I could not describe to
you what mutual attachments, and how passing deep and tender these boys.
Some have died, but the love for them lives as long as I draw breath.
These soldiers know how to love too, when once they have the right person
and the right love offered them. It is wonderful. You see I am running off
into the clouds, but this is my element. Abby, I am writing this note this
afternoon in Major H’s office—he is away sick—I am here a good deal of
the time alone. It is a dark rainy afternoon—we don’t know what is going
on down in front, whether Meade is getting the worst of it or not—(but
the result of the big elections cheers us). I believe fully in
Lincoln—few know the rocks and quicksands he has to steer through. I
enclose you a note Mrs. O’C. handed me to send you—written, I suppose,
upon impulse. She is a noble Massachusetts woman, is not very rugged in
health—I am there very much—her husband and I are great friends too.
Well, I will close—the rain is pouring, the sky leaden, it is between 2
and 3. I am going to get some dinner, and then to the hospital. Good-bye,
dear friends, and I send my love to all.
Walt Whitman.
XXVII
Washington, Oct. 13, 1863. Dearest Mother—Nothing particular new with
me. I am well and hearty—think a good deal about home. Mother, I so much
want to see you, even if only for a couple of weeks, for I feel I must
return here and continue my hospital operations. They are so much needed,
although one can do only such a little in comparison, amid these
thousands. Then I desire much to see Andrew. I wonder if I could cheer him
up any. Does he get any good from that treatment with the baths, etc.?
Mother, I suppose you have your hands full with Nancy’s poor little
children, and one worry and another (when one gets old little things
bother a great deal). Mother, I go down every day looking for a letter
from you or Jeff—I had two from Jeff latter part of the week. I want to
see Jeff much. I wonder why he didn’t send me the Union with my letter
in; I am disappointed at not getting it. I sent Han a N. Y. Times with
my last letter, and one to George too. Have you heard anything from George
or Han? There is a new lot of wounded now again. They have been arriving
sick and wounded for three days—first long strings of ambulances with the
sick, but yesterday many with bad and bloody wounds, poor fellows. I
thought I was cooler and more used to it, but the sight of some of them
brought tears into my eyes. Mother, I had the good luck yesterday to do
quite a great deal of good. I had provided a lot of nourishing things for
the men, but for another quarter—but I had them where I could use them
immediately for these new wounded as they came in faint and hungry, and
fagged out with a long rough journey, all dirty and torn, and many pale
as ashes and all bloody. I distributed all my stores, gave partly to the
nurses I knew that were just taking charge of them—and as many as I could
I fed myself. Then besides I found a lot of oyster soup handy, and I
procured it all at once. Mother, it is the most pitiful sight, I think,
when first the men are brought in. I have to bustle round, to keep from
crying—they are such rugged young men—all these just arrived are cavalry
men. Our troops got the worst of it, but fought like devils. Our men
engaged were Kilpatrick’s Cavalry. They were in the rear as part of
Meade’s retreat, and the Reb cavalry cut in between and cut them off and
attacked them and shelled them terribly. But Kilpatrick brought them out
mostly—this was last Sunday.
Mother, I will try to come home before long, if only for six or eight
days. I wish to see you, and Andrew—I wish to see the young ones; and
Mat, you must write. I am about moving. I have been hunting for a room
to-day—I shall [write] next [time] how I succeed. Good-bye for present,
dear mother.
Walt.
XXVIII
Washington, Oct. 20, 1863. Dearest Mother—I got your last letter Sunday
morning, though it was dated Thursday night. Mother, I suppose you got a
letter from me Saturday last, as I sent one the day before, as I was
concerned about Andrew. If I thought it would be any benefit to Andrew I
should certainly leave everything else and come back to Brooklyn. Mother,
do you recollect what I wrote last summer about throat diseases, when
Andrew was first pretty bad? Well, that’s the whole groundwork of the
business; any true physician would confirm it. There is no great charm
about such things; as to any costly and mysterious baths, there are no
better baths than warm water, or vapor (and perhaps sulphur vapor). There
is nothing costly or difficult about them; one can have a very good
sweating bath, at a pinch, by having a pan of warm water under a chair
with a couple of blankets around him to enclose the vapor, and heating a
couple of bricks or stones or anything to put in one after another, and
sitting on the chair—it is a very wholesome sweat, too, and not to be
sneezed at if one wishes to do what is salutary, and thinks of the sense
of a thing, and not what others do. Andrew mustn’t be discouraged; those
diseases are painful and tedious, but he can recover, and will yet. Dear
mother, I sent your last letter to George, with a short one I wrote
myself. I sent it yesterday. I sent a letter last Wednesday (14th) to him
also, hoping that if one don’t reach him another will. Hasn’t Jeff seen
Capt. Sims or Lieut. McReady yet, and don’t they hear whether the 51st is
near Nicholasville, Kentucky, yet? I send George papers now and then.
Mother, one of your letters contains part of my letter to the Union (I
wish I could have got the whole of it). It seems to me mostly as I
intended it, barring a few slight misprints. Was my last name signed at
the bottom of it? Tell me when you write next. Dear mother, I am real
sorry, and mad too, that the water works people have cut Jeff’s wages down
to $50; this is a pretty time to cut a man’s wages down, the mean old
punkin heads. Mother, I can’t understand it at all; tell me more of the
particulars. Jeff, I often wish you was on here; you would be better
appreciated—there are big salaries paid here sometimes to civil
engineers. Jeff, I know a fellow, E. C. Stedman; has been here till
lately; is now in Wall street. He is poor, but he is in with the big
bankers, Hallett & Co., who are in with Fremont in his line of Pacific
railroad. I can get his (Stedman’s) address, and should you wish it any
time I will give you a letter to him. I shouldn’t wonder if the big men,
with Fremont at head, were going to push their route works, road, etc.,
etc., in earnest, and if a fellow could get a good managing place in it,
why it might be worth while. I think after Jeff has been with the Brooklyn
w[ater] w[orks] from the beginning, and so faithful and so really
valuable, to put down to $50—the mean, low-lived old shoats! I have felt
as indignant about it, the meanness of the thing, and mighty inconvenient,
too—$40 a month makes a big difference. Mother, I hope Jeff won’t get and
keep himself in a perpetual fever, with all these things and others and
botherations, both family and business ones. If he does, he will just wear
himself down before his time comes. I do hope, Jeff, you will take things
equally all round, and not brood or think too deeply. So I go on giving
you all good advice. O mother, I must tell you how I get along in my new
quarters. I have moved to a new room, 456 Sixth street, not far from
Pennsylvania avenue (the big street here), and not far from the Capitol.
It is in the 3d story, an addition back; seems to be going to prove a very
good winter room, as it is right under the roof and looks south; has low
windows, is plenty big enough; I have gas. I think the lady will prove a
good woman. She is old and feeble. (There is a little girl of 4 or 5; I
hear her sometimes calling Grandma, Grandma, just exactly like Hat; it
made me think of you and Hat right away.) One thing is I am quite by
myself; there is no passage up there except to my room, and right off
against my side of the house is a great old yard with grass and some trees
back, and the sun shines in all day, etc., and it smells sweet, and good
air—good big bed; I sleep first rate. There is a young wench of 12 or 13,
Lucy (the niggers here are the best and most amusing creatures you ever
see)—she comes and goes, gets water, etc. She is pretty much the only one
I see. Then I believe the front door is not locked at all at night. (In
the other place the old thief, the landlord, had two front doors, with
four locks and bolts on one and three on the other—and a big bulldog in
the back yard. We were well fortified, I tell you. Sometimes I had an
awful time at night getting in.) I pay $10 a month; this includes gas, but
not fuel. Jeff, you can come on and see me easy now. Mother, to give you
an idea of prices here, while I was looking for rooms, about like our two
in Wheeler’s houses (2nd story), nothing extra about them, either in
location or anything, and the rent was $60 a month. Yet, quite curious,
vacant houses here are not so very dear; very much the same as in
Brooklyn. Dear mother, Jeff wrote in his letter latter part of last week,
you was real unwell with a very bad cold (and that you didn’t have enough
good meals). Mother, I hope this will find you well and in good spirits. I
think about you every day and night. Jeff thinks you show your age more,
and failing like. O my dear mother, you must not think of failing yet. I
hope we shall have some comfortable years yet. Mother, don’t allow things,
troubles, to take hold of you; write a few lines whenever you can; tell me
exactly how things are. Mother, I am first rate and well—only a little of
that deafness again. Good-bye for present.
Walt.
XXIX
Washington, Oct. 27, 1863. Dearest Mother,—Yours and George’s letter
came, and a letter from Jeff too—all good. I had received a letter a day
or so before from George too. I am very glad he is at Camp Nelson,
Kentucky, and I hope and pray the reg’t will be kept there—for God knows
they have tramped enough for the last two years, and fought battles and
been through enough. I have sent George papers to Camp Nelson, and will
write to-morrow. I send him the Unions and the late New York papers.
Mother, you or Jeff write and tell me how Andrew is; I hope he will prove
to be better. Such complaints are sometimes very alarming for awhile, and
then take such a turn for the better. Common means and steadily pursuing
them, about diet especially, are so much more reliable than any course of
medicine whatever. Mother, I have written to Han; I sent her George’s
letter to me, and wrote her a short letter myself. I sent it four or five
days ago. Mother, I am real pleased to hear Jeff’s explanation how it is
that his wages is cut down, and that it was not as I fancied from the
meanness of the old coons in the board. I felt so indignant about it, as I
took it into my head, (though I don’t know why) that it was done out of
meanness, and was a sort of insult. I was quite glad Jeff wrote a few
lines about it—and glad they appreciate Jeff, too. Mother, if any of my
soldier boys should ever call upon you (as they are often anxious to have
my address in Brooklyn) you just use them as you know how to without
ceremony, and if you happen to have pot luck and feel to ask them to take
a bite, don’t be afraid to do so. There is one very good boy, Thos. Neat,
2nd N. Y. Cavalry, wounded in leg. He is now home on furlough—his folks
live, I think, in Jamaica. He is a noble boy. He may call upon you. (I
gave him here $1 toward buying his crutches, etc.) I like him very much.
Then possibly a Mr. Haskell, or some of his folks from Western New York,
may call—he had a son died here, a very fine boy. I was with him a good
deal, and the old man and his wife have written me, and asked me my
address in Brooklyn. He said he had children in N. Y. city and was
occasionally down there. Mother, when I come home I will show you some of
the letters I get from mothers, sisters, fathers, etc.—they will make you
cry. There is nothing new with my hospital doings—I was there yesterday
afternoon and evening, and shall be there again to-day. Mother, I should
like to hear how you are yourself—has your cold left you, and do you feel
better? Do you feel quite well again? I suppose you have your good stove
all fired up these days—we have had some real cool weather here. I must
rake up a little cheap second-hand stove for my room, for it was in the
bargain that I should get that myself. Mother, I like my place quite well,
better on nearly every account than my old room, but I see it will only do
for a winter room. They keep it clean, and the house smells clean, and the
room too. My old room, they just let everything lay where it was, and you
can fancy what a litter of dirt there was—still it was a splendid room
for air, for summer, as good as there is in Washington. I got a letter
from Mrs. Price this morning—does Emmy ever come to see you?
Matty, my dear sister, and Miss Mannahatta, and the little one (whose name
I don’t know, and perhaps hasn’t got any name yet), I hope you are all
well and having good times. I often, often think about you all. Mat, do
you go any to the Opera now? They say the new singers are so good—when I
come home we’ll try to go. Mother, I am very well—have some cold in my
head and my ears stopt up yet, making me sometimes quite hard of hearing.
I am writing this in Major Hapgood’s office. Last Sunday I took dinner at
my friends the O’Connors—had two roast chickens, stewed tomatoes,
potatoes, etc. I took dinner there previous Sunday also.
Well, dear mother, how the time passes away—to think it will soon be a
year I have been away! It has passed away very swiftly, somehow, to me. O
what things I have witnessed during that time—I shall never forget them.
And the war is not settled yet, and one does not see anything at all
certain about the settlement yet; but I have finally got for good, I
think, into the feeling that our triumph is assured, whether it be sooner
or whether it be later, or whatever roundabout way we are led there, and I
find I don’t change that conviction from any reverses we meet, or any
delays or Government blunders. There are blunders enough, heaven knows,
but I am thankful things have gone on as well for us as they
have—thankful the ship rides safe and sound at all. Then I have finally
made up my mind that Mr. Lincoln has done as good as a human man could do.
I still think him a pretty big President. I realize here in Washington
that it has been a big thing to have just kept the United States from
being thrown down and having its throat cut; and now I have no doubt it
will throw down Secession and cut its throat—and I have not had any doubt
since Gettysburg. Well, dear, dear mother, I will draw to a close. Andrew
and Jeff and all, I send you my love. Good-bye, dear mother and dear Matty
and all hands.
Walt.
XXX
Washington, Dec. 15, 1863. Dearest Mother—The last word I got from home
was your letter written the night before Andrew was buried—Friday night,
nearly a fortnight ago. I have not heard anything since from you or Jeff.
Mother, Major Hapgood has moved from his office, cor. 15th street, and I
am not with him any more. He has moved his office to his private room. I
am writing this in my room, 456 Sixth street, but my letters still come to
Major’s care; they are to be addrest same as ever, as I can easily go and
get them out of his box (only nothing need be sent me any time to the old
office, as I am not there, nor Major either). Anything like a telegraphic
dispatch or express box or the like should be addrest 456 Sixth street,
3rd story, back room. Dear mother, I hope you are well and in good
spirits. I wish you would try to write to me everything about home and the
particulars of Andrew’s funeral, and how you all are getting along. I have
not received the Eagle with the little piece in. I was in hopes Jeff
would have sent it. I wish he would yet, or some of you would; I want to
see it. I think it must have been put in by a young man named Howard; he
is now editor of the Eagle, and is very friendly to me.
Mother, I am quite well. I have been out this morning early, went down
through the market; it is quite a curiosity—I bought some butter, tea,
etc. I have had my breakfast here in my room, good tea, bread and butter,
etc.
Mother, I think about you all more than ever—and poor Andrew, I often
think about him. Mother, write to me how Nancy and the little boys are
getting along. I got thinking last night about little California.[22] O
how I wished I had her here for an hour to take care of—dear little girl.
I don’t think I ever saw a young one I took to so much—but I mustn’t
slight Hattie; I like her too. Mother, I am still going among the
hospitals; there is plenty of need, just the same as ever. I go every day
or evening. I have not heard from George—I have no doubt the 51st is
still at Crab Orchard.
Mother, I hope you will try to write. I send you my love, and to Jeff and
Mat and all—so good-bye, dear mother.
Walt.