On [1a] the fine evening of a warm and mellow
summer I betook me up one of the mountains of Wales, [1b] spy-glass in hand, to enable my feeble
sight to see the distant near, and to make the little to loom
large. Through the clear, tenuous air and the calm,
shimmering heat, I beheld far, far away over the Irish Sea many a
fair scene. At last, when mine eyes had taken their fill of
all the beauty around me, and the sun well nigh had reached his
western ramparts, I lay down on the sward, musing how fair and
lovely compared with mine own land were the distant lands of
whose delightful plains I had just obtained a glimpse; how fine
it would be to have full view thereof, and how happy withal are
they, besides me and my sort, who have seen the world’s
course. So, from the long journeying of mine eye, and
afterwards of my mind, came weariness, and beneath the cloak of
weariness came my good Master Sleep [1c] stealthily to bind
me, and with his leaden keys safe and sound he locked the windows
of mine eyes and all mine other senses. But it was in vain
he tried to lock up the soul which can exist and travel without
the body; for upon the wings of fancy my spirit soared free from
out the straitened corpse, and the first thing I perceived close
by was a dancing-knoll and such a fantastic rout [4a] in blue petticoats and red caps,
briskly footing a sprightly dance. I stood awhile
hesitating whether I should approach them or not, for in my
confusion I feared they were a pack of hungry gipsies and that
the least they would do, would be to kill me for their supper,
and devour me saltless. But gazing steadfastly upon them I
perceived that they were of better and fairer complexion than
that lying, tawny crew; so I plucked up courage and drew near
them, slowly, like a hen treading on hot coals, in order to find
out what they might be; and at last I addressed them over my
shoulder, thus, “Pray you, good friends, I understand that
ye come from afar, would ye take into your midst a bard who
wishes to travel?” Whereupon the din instantly
ceased, every eye was turned upon me, and in shrill tones
“a bard” quoth one, “to travel,” said
another, “into our midst,” a third exclaimed.
By then I had recognised those who were looking at me most
fiercely, and they commenced whispering one to another some
secret charms, still keeping their gaze upon me; the hubbub then
broke out again and everyone laying hands upon me, lifted me
shoulder-high, like a knight of the shire, and off like the wind
we go, over houses and lands, cities and realms, seas and
mountains, unable to notice aught so swiftly were they
flying. And to make matters worse, I began to have doubts
of my companions from the way they frowned and scowled when I
refused to lampoon my king [4b] at their
bidding.
“Well, now,” said I to myself, “farewell to
life; these accursed, arrant sorcerers will bear me to some
nobleman’s larder or cellar and leave me there to pay
penalty by my neck for their robbery, or peradventure they will
leave me stark-naked and benumbed on Chester Marsh or some other
bleak and remote place.” But on considering that
those whose faces I knew had long been buried, and that some were
thrusting me forward, and others upholding me above every ravine,
it dawned upon me that they were not witches but what are called
the Fairies. Without delay I found myself close to a huge
castle, the finest I had ever seen, with a deep moat surrounding
it, and here they began discussing my doom. “Let us
take him as a gift to the castle,” suggested one.
“Nay, let us throw the obstinate gallows-bird into the
moat, he is not worth showing to our great prince,” said
another. “Will he say his prayers before
sleeping,” asked a third. At the mention of prayer, I
breathed a groaning sigh heavenwards asking pardon and aid; and
no sooner had I thought the prayer than I saw a light, Oh! so
beautiful, breaking forth in the distance. As this light
approached, my companions grew dark and vanished, and in a trice
the Shining One made for us straight over the castle: whereupon
they let go their hold of me and departing, turned upon me a
hellish scowl, and had not the Angel supported me I should have
been ground fine enough to make a pie long before reaching the
earth.
“What is thy errand here?” asked the Angel.
“In sooth, my lord,” cried I, “I wot not what
place here is, nor what mine errand, nor what I myself am, nor
what has made off with mine other part; I had a head and limbs
and body, but whether I left ’em at home or whether the
Fairies, if fair their deed, have cast me into some deep pit (for
I mind my passing over many a rugged gorge) an’ I be
hanged, Sir, I know not.” “Fairly,
indeed,” said he, “they would have dealt with thee,
had I not come in time to save thee from the toasting-forks of
the brood of hell. Since thou hast such a great desire to
see the course of this little world, I am commanded to give thee
the opportunity to realize thy wish, so that thou mayest see the
folly of thy discontent with thine own lot and country.
Come now!” he bade, and at the word, with the dawn just
breaking, he snatched me up far away above the castle; and upon a
white cloudledge we rested in the empyrean to see the sun rising,
and to look at my heavenly companion, who was far brighter than
the sun, save that his radiance only shone upwards, being hidden
from all beneath by a veil. When the sun waxed strong, I
beheld in the refulgence of the two our great, encircled earth as
a tiny ball in the distance below. “Look
again,” said the Angel, and he gave me a better spy-glass
than the one I had on the mountain-side. When I looked
through this I saw things in a different light and clearer than
ever before.
I could see one city of enormous magnitude, with thousands of
cities and kingdoms within it, the wide ocean like a whirlpool
around it, and other seas, like rivers, dividing it into
parts. After gazing a longwhile, I observed that it was
made up of three tremendously long streets, with a large and
splendid gateway at the lower end of each street; on each
gateway, a magnificent tower, and on each tower, in sight of all
the street, a woman of exceeding beauty; and the three towers at
the back of the ramparts reached to the foot of that great
castle. Of the same length as these immense streets, but
running in a contrary direction, I saw another street which was
but narrow and mean compared with them, though it was clean and
upon higher ground than they, and leading upwards to the east,
whilst the other three led downwards northerly to the great
towers. I could no longer withhold from asking my
friend’s permission to speak. “What
then,” said the Angel, “if thou wilt speak, listen
carefully, so that there be no need of telling thee a thing
twice.” “I will, my lord, and prithee,”
asked I, “what castle is that, away yonder to the
north?” “That castle aloft in the sky,”
said he, “belongs to Belial, prince of the power of the
air, and ruler of all that vast city below; it is called Castle
Delusive: for an arch-deluder is Belial, and it is through
delusion that he is able to keep under his sway all that thou
see’st with the exception of that little bye-street
yonder. He is a powerful prince, with thousands of princes
under him. What was Cæsar or Alexander the Great
compared with him? What are the Turk and old Lewis of
France [7] but his servants? Great, aye,
exceedingly great is the might, craftiness and diligence of
Prince Belial and of the countless hosts he hath in the lower
region.” “Why do those women stand
there?” I asked, “and who are they?”
“Slowly,” cried the Angel, “one question at a
time; they stand there in order to be loved and
worshipped.” “No wonder, in sooth,” said
I, “so lovely are they that were I the possessor of hands
and feet as once I was, I too would go and love or worship
them.” “Hush! hush!” cried he, “if
that is what thou wouldst do with thy members ’tis well
thou’rt wanting them: know, foolish spirit, that these
three princesses are no other than three destroying
enchantresses, daughters of Prince Belial; and that all the
beauty and gentleness which dazzles the streets, is nought else
but a gloss over ugliness and cruelty; the three within are like
their sire, full of deadly venom.” “Woe’s
me, is’t possible,” cried I sorrowfully, “that
their love wounds?” “’Tis true, the more
the pity,” said he, “thou art delighted with the way
the three beam on their adorers: well, there is in that ray of
light many a wondrous charm, it blindens them so that they cannot
see the hook; it stupifies them so that they pay no heed to their
danger, and consumes them with an insatiate lust for more, even
though it be a deadly poison, breeding diseases which no
physician, yea, not death itself can ever heal, nor aught at all
unless a heavenly medicine called Repentance be had to purge the
evil in good time ere it become too deeply rooted, through gazing
upon them too long.” “Wherefore will not Belial
have this adoration to himself?” asked I. “It
is the same thing,” said he, “for so long as a man
adheres to these or to one of them, that man is sure to bear the
mark of Belial and wear his livery.”
“By what names are these three enchantresses
called?” “The furthest away is called Pride,
the eldest daughter of Belial; the second is Pleasure, and the
nearest to us is Lucre; these three are the trinity the world
adores.” “I would fain know the name of this
vast, madding city,” said I, “hath it a better name
than great Bedlam?” “Yea, ’tis called the
City of Destruction.” “Alas!” I cried,
“are all that dwell therein ruined and lost?”
“All,” said he, “save a few that flee from it
into yon upper city which is King Emmanuel’s.”
“Woe is me and mine! how shall they escape while ever
staring at what makes them more and more blind, and preys upon
them in their blindness?” “It would be utterly
impossible for any man to escape hence were it not that Emmanuel
sends his ministers from on high, night and morn, to persuade
them to leave the rebels and turn to Him, their true Sovereign,
and sends to some a gift of precious ointment called Faith to
anoint their eyes, and whoso obtains that genuine ointment (for
there is an imitation of this as of everything else in the City
of Destruction) and anoints himself therewith, at once becomes
aware of his own wounds and madness, and will not tarry here a
moment longer, even though Belial gave him his three daughters,
yea, or his fourth who is greatest of all, for
staying.”
“What are the names of these immense streets?” I
enquired. “They are called, each according to the
name of the princess who rules therein; furthest is the Street of
Pride, the middle, the Street of Pleasure, and next, the Street
of Lucre.” “Who, prithee, dwell in these
streets? What tongue is spoken there? Wherefrom and
of what nations are their inhabitants?” “Many
people,” answered he, “of every language, religion,
and nation under the sun dwell there; many a one lives in each of
the three streets at different seasons, and everyone as near the
gateway as he can; and very often do they change about, being
unable to stay long in the one because they so greatly love the
princess of the other street. And the old renard, slyly
looking on, lets everyone love whichever he prefers, or the three
if he will—all the more certain is he of him.”
“Come nearer to them,” said the Angel, snatching
me downwards in the veil through the noxious vapours rising from
the city. We alighted in the Street of Pride, on the top of
a great, roofless mansion with its eyes picked out by the dogs
and crows, and its owners gone to England or France, there to
seek what might be gotten with far less trouble at home; thus in
place of the good old country-family of days gone by, so full of
charity and benevolence, none keep possession now but the stupid
owl, the greedy crows, or the proud-pied magpies or the like, to
proclaim the deeds of the present owners. There were
thousands of such deserted palaces, which but for pride might
still be the resort of noblemen, a refuge for the weak, a school
of peace and all goodness, and a blessing to the thousands of
cottages surrounding them. From the top of these ruins we
had plenty of room and quietness to see the whole street on both
sides. The houses were very fine, and of wonderful height
and grandeur, and good reason why, for emperors and kings lived
there, princes in hundreds, noblemen and gentlemen in thousands,
and a great many women of all grades. I could see many a
horned coquette, like a full-rigged ship, strutting as if set in
a frame with a fair store of pedlery about her, and pearls in her
ears to the value of a good-sized farm: some were singing so as
to be praised for their voices, some dancing, to show their
figures; others coloring, to improve their complexion, others
having been a good three hours before a mirror trimming
themselves, learning to smile, pinning and unpinning, making
grimaces and striking attitudes. Many a coy wench was there
who knew not how to open her lips to speak, much less to eat, or
from very ceremony, how to look under foot; and many a ragged
shrew who would contend that she was equal to the best lady in
the street, and many an ambling fop who might winnow beans by the
wind of his train.
Whilst I was looking from afar at these and a hundred similar
things, lo! there came by us a gaudy, strapping quean of arrogant
mien, and after whom a hundred eyes were turned; some made
obeisance, as if in worship of her, a few put something in her
hand. I could not make out what she was, and so I
enquired. “Oh,” said my friend, “she is
one whose entire dowry is on show, and yet thou see’st how
many fools there are who seek her, and the meanest is received
notwithstanding all the demand there is for her; whom she will,
she cannot have, and whom she can, she will not; she will only
speak to her betters because her mother told her that a young
woman can make no greater mistake than to be humble in
courtship.” Thereupon a burly Falstaff, who had been
alderman and in many offices, came out from beneath us, spreading
out his wings as if to fly, when he could scarcely limp along
like a pack-horse, on account of his huge paunch, and the gout,
and many other gentlemanly complaints; but for all that you could
not get a single glance from him except as a great favour,
remembering the while to address him by all his title and
offices. From him I turned my eyes to the other side of the
street, and saw a bluff young nobleman with a numerous following,
smiling graciously and bowing low to everyone he met.
“It is strange,” said I, “that these two should
belong to the same street.” “It is the same
princess—Pride, who governs them both,” answered he,
“this one’s errand is but to speak fair; he is now
making a bid for fame with the intent thereby to attain the
highest office in the State; he is most ready to weep with the
people, and tell them how greatly they are wronged through the
oppression of wicked ministers; yet it is his own exaltation, and
not the common weal that is the main object of his
pursuit.”
After looking for a longwhile I saw close by the Porch of
Pride a fair city on seven hills, and over its magnificent court
the triple crown, the swords and cross-keys. “Well,
here is Rome,” quoth I, “here lives the Pope, is it
not?” “Yes, most often,” said the Angel,
“but he hath a court in each of the other
streets.” Over against Rome I could see a city with a
very fine court, whereon was raised on high a crescent on a
golden banner, by which I knew the Turk was there. After
these came the court of Lewis XIV. of France, as I perceived by
his arms—the three fleur-de-lys on a silver banner reared
high. Whilst admiring the loftiness and magnificence of
these palaces, I observed that there was much traversing from one
court to another, and asked the reason. “Oh, there is
many a dark reason,” said the Angel, “existing
between these three potent and crafty monarchs, but though they
deem themselves fitting peers to the three princesses up yonder,
their power and guile is nought compared with theirs. Yea
more, great Belial deems the whole city, notwithstanding the
number of its kings, unsuitable for his daughters. Although
he offers them in marriage to everybody, he has never actually
given them to anyone. Keen rivalry has existed between
these three for their hands; the Turk, who calls himself the god
of earth, would have the eldest, Pride, to wife.
“Nay,” said the king of France, “she is mine,
for I keep all my subjects in her street, and bring her many from
England and many other realms.” Spain would have the
Princess of Lucre, spite of Holland and all the Jews, and
England, the Princess of Pleasure in spite of the Pagans.
But the Pope claimed the three, and for better reasons than all
the others; and Belial admits him next to them in each
street.” “Is that the cause of this
commerce?” said I. “No,” said he,
“Belial has made peace between them upon that matter long
ago. But now he has bid the three put their heads together
to consider how they can the soonest destroy yon bye-street; that
is the City of Emmanuel, and especially one great mansion
therein, out of mere jealousy, perceiving it to be a finer
edifice than any in all the City of Destruction. And Belial
promises half his kingdom during his life, and the whole on his
decease, to him who succeeds in doing so. But
notwithstanding the magnitude of his power, the depth of his
wiles, and the number of emperors, kings and crafty rulers that
are beneath his sceptre in that huge City of Destruction,
notwithstanding the courage of his countless hosts beyond the
gates in the lower region, that task will prove too difficult for
them; however great, powerful and untiring his majesty may be, in
yon small street is a greater than he.”
I was not able to give very close attention to his angelic
reasons, being occupied in watching the frequent falls people
were having on the slippery street. Some I could see with
ladders scaling the tower, and having reached the highest rung,
falling headlong to the bottom. “Where do those fools
try to get to?” I asked. “To a place that is
high enough—they are endeavouring to break into the
treasury of the princess.” “I warrant it be
full,” quoth I. “Yes,” answered he,
“of everything that belongs to this street, to be
distributed among its denizens: all kinds of weapons for invading
and extending territories; all kinds of coats-of-arms, banners,
escutcheons, books of genealogy, sayings of the ancients, and
poems, all sorts of gorgeous raiments, boastful tales and
flattering mirrors; every pigment and lotion to beautify the
face; every high office and title—in short, everything is
there which makes a man think better of himself and worse of
others than he ought. The chief officers of this treasury
are masters of the ceremonies, roysters, heralds, bards, orators,
flatterers, dancers, tailors, gamblers, seamstresses and the
like.”
From this street we went to the next where the Princess of
Lucre rules supreme; this street was crowded and enormously
wealthy; yet not half so magnificent and clean as the Street of
Pride, nor its people so foolishly haughty, for here they were
for the most part skulking and sly. Thousands of Spaniards,
Dutchmen, Venetians, and Jews were here, and also a great many
aged people. “Prithee, sir,” said I,
“what manner of men might these be?”
“They are pinchfists one and all. In the lower end
thou shalt see the Pope once more together with conquerors of
kingdoms and their soldiery, oppressors, foresters, obstructors
of public paths, justices and their bribers, and all their
progeny from the barrister to the constable; on the other side,
physicians, apothecaries, leeches, misers, merchants,
extortioners, money lenders, withholders of tithes, wages, rents
or doles left to schools, almhouses and the like; drovers,
dealers who regulate the market for their own benefit; shopmen
(or rather, sharpers) who profit on the need or ignorance of
their customers; stewards of all grades; clippers [14] and innkeepers who despoil the
idlers’ family of their goods and the country of its
barley, which would otherwise be made into bread for the
poor. All these are arrant robbers, the others in the upper
end of the street are mostly small fry, such as highwaymen,
tailors, weavers, millers, grocers and so on.”
In the midst of this I could hear a terrible commotion towards
the far end of the street, and a great crowd of people thronging
the gate, and such pushing and quarelling as made me think that
there was a general riot afoot, until I asked my friend what was
the matter. “There is very valuable treasure in that
tower,” said the Angel, “and the reason for this
tumult is that they are about to choose a treasurer for the
Princess, instead of the Pope, who has been driven from
office.” So we went to see the election.
The candidates for the post were the stewards, the
money-lenders, the lawyers, and the merchants, and it was the
wealthiest of these that was to have it (for the more thou hast,
the more wilt thou have and seek for—an insatiate complaint
pertaining to this street). The stewards were rejected at
the outset, lest they might impoverish the whole street and, just
as they had erected their mansions upon their masters’
ruins, in the end dispossess the princess herself. The
contest then lay between the other three. The merchants had
more silk, the lawyers more mortgages on land, and the
money-lenders more bills and bonds and fuller purses.
“Ho, they won’t agree this night,” said the
Angel, “come away; the lawyers are richer than the
merchants, the money-lenders than the lawyers, the stewards than
the money-lenders, and Belial richer than all; for they and all
that belongs to them are his.” “Why does the
princess keep these robbers about her?” “What
more befitting, seeing that she herself is
arch-robber?” I was amazed to hear him call the
princess by such name, and the proudest gentry in the land arrant
robbers. “Why, pray my lord,” said I, “do
you consider these great noblemen worse thieves than
highwaymen?” “Thou art a simpleton—think
on that knave who roves the wide world over, sword in hand, and
with his ravagers at his back, slaying and burning, and depriving
the true possessors of their states, and afterwards expecting to
be worshipped as conqueror; is he not worse than the petty thief
who takes a purse on the highway? What is a tailor who
filches a piece of cloth compared to a squire who steals from the
mountain-side half a parish? Ought the latter not be called
a worse robber than the former, who only takes a shred from him,
while he deprives the poor of pasture for his beast, and
consequently of the means of livelihood for himself, and those
depending upon him? What is the stealing a handful of flour
in the mill compared with the storing up of a hundred bushels to
rot, in order to obtain later on for one bushel the price of
four? What is a threadbare soldier who robs thee of thy
clothes at the swords’ point when compared with the lawyer
who despoils thee of thy whole estate with the stroke of a quill,
and against whom thou canst claim no recompense or remedy?
What is a pickpocket who steals a five-pound in comparison to a
dice-sharper who robs thee of a hundred pounds in the third part
of a night? And what the swindler that deceives thee in a
worthless old hack compared with the apothecary who swindles thee
of thy money and life too, for some effete, medicinal
stuff? And moreover, what are all these robbers compared
with that great arch-robber who deprives them all of everything,
yea, of their hearts and souls after the fair is over?”
From this foul and disorderly street we proceeded to the
street of the Princess of Pleasure wherein I saw many English,
French, Italians and Paynims. The Princess is very fair to
behold, with mixed wine in one hand, and a fiddle and a harp in
the other; and in her treasury, innumerable pleasures and toys to
gain the custom of everybody, and retain them in her
father’s service. Yea, many were wont to escape to
this pleasant street to drown their grief for losses and debts
they had incurred in the others. It was exceedingly
crowded, especially with young people; whilst the Princess is
careful to please everyone, and to have an arrow ready for every
mark. If thou art thirsty, here thou will find thy favorite
beverage; if thou lovest song and dance, here thou shalt have thy
fill. If the beauty of the Princess has kindled thy lust,
thou need’st but beckon one of her sire’s officers
(who, although invisible, always surround her) and they will
immediately attend thy behest. There are here fair
mansions, fine gardens, full orchards, shady groves fit for every
secret intrigue, or to trap birds or a white rabbit or twain;
clear streams, most pleasant to fish in; rich, boundless plains,
whereon to hunt the hare and fox. Along the street we could
see them playing interludes, juggling and conjuring, singing lewd
songs to the sound of the harp and ballads, and all manner of
jesting. Men and women of handsome appearance danced and
sang, and many came hither from the Street of Pride in order to
be praised and worshipped. Within the houses we perceived
some on silken beds wallowing in debauchery; some at the
gaming-table, cursing and swearing, others tossing dice and
shuffling cards. Some from the Street of Lucre, having a
room here, ran hither to count their money, but stayed not long
lest aught of the countless geegaws that are here should entice
them to part with their money without interest. Others I
saw at tables feasting with somewhat of every created thing
before them; and when everyone, mess after mess, had guzzled as
much of the dainties as would afford a moderate man a feast for a
whole week, grace followed in the form of blasphemous howling;
then the king’s health was called for, and that of every
boon companion, and so on to quench the taste of the viands, and
drown their cares. Then came tobacco, and then each one
began to talk scandal of his neighbour—whether true or
false it mattered not as long as it was humorous or fresh, or,
best of all, degrading. At last, what with a round of
blasphemy, and the whole crowd with clay pistols belching smoke
and fire and slander of their neighbours, and the floor already
befouled with dregs and spittle, I feared lest viler deeds should
happen, and craved to depart.
Thence we went where we heard a loud noise, beating and
clamouring, crying and laughing, shouting and singing.
“Well, here’s Bedlam and no mistake,” quoth
I. By the time we got in, the turmoil had ceased; one man
lay like a log on the ground, another was vomiting, another
nodding his head over a hearth full of battered flagons, and
broken pipes and mugs. On enquiring, what should it be but
a carousal of seven thirsty neighbours—a tinker, a dyer, a
blacksmith, a miner, a chimney-sweep, a bard, and a parson who
had come to preach sobriety, and to show in his own person how
repulsive drunkenness is; and the beginning of the recent
altercation was a discussion and dispute they had as to which of
the seven callings loved best the pot and pipe; the bard had
beaten all but the parson and, due regard being observed for the
cloth, he was adjudged victor and worthy to be leader of his good
comrades, and so the bard wound up the discussion thus:
“Where can ye find such thirsty seven,
Search every clime and land?
And quaffing off the ruddy ale,
Bard and parson lead the band.”
Thoroughly tired of these drunken swine, we drew nearer the
gate in order to spy out the blemishes in the magnificent court
of Love, the purblind king, wherein it is easy to enter, but
difficult to get out again, and where are chambers
innumerable. In the hall opposite the door stood giddy
Cupid, with two arrows in his bow, darting a languishing venom
called lust. Along the floor I saw many fair and comely
women walking with measured steps, and following them, wretched
youths gazing upon their beauty, and each one begging a glance
from his mistress, fearing a frown even more than death; now and
then one, bowing to the ground, would place a letter in his
goddess’ hand, and another a sonnet, the while in fear
expectant, like schoolboys showing their task to the
master. They in return would favour their adorers with a
simpering smile or two, just to keep their desires on edge, but
granting nought more lest their lust be sated and they depart
healed of the disease. Going on into the parlour I saw them
having lessons in dancing and singing, with voice and hand, in
order to make their lovers sevenfold madder than before; on again
into the dining hall where they were taught coy smartness in
eating; into the cellar, where potent love philtres were being
mixed of nail parings and the like; in the upper rooms we could
see one in a secret chamber twisting himself into all shapes,
practising gentlemanly behaviour when in his mistress’
presence; another before a mirror learning how to smile correctly
without showing his teeth too prominently to his ladylove;
another preparing his tale to tell her, repeating the same thing
an hundred times. Wearied with this insipid babbling we
came to another cell: here a nobleman had sent for a poet from
the Street of Pride to indite him a sonnet of praise to his
angel, and an eulogy of himself; the bard was discoursing of his
art: “I can,” said he, “liken her to everything
red and everything white under the sun, and her tresses to an
hundred things more yellow than gold, and as for your poem, I can
trace your lineage through many knights and princes, and through
the water of the deluge right up to Adam.”
“Well, here’s a poet,” quoth I, “who is a
better genealogist than I.” “Come, come,”
said the Angel, “their intention is to deceive the woman,
but, once in her presence, you may be sure they will have to meet
trick with trick.”
Upon leaving these we had a glimpse of cells where fouler
deeds were being done than modesty permits to mention, and which
caused my companion to snatch me away in anger from this fatuous
court into the princess’ treasury (for we went where we
list notwithstanding doors and locks). There we saw myriads
of fair women, all kinds of beverages, fruits and dainties,
stringed instruments and books of songs,—harps, pipes, odes
and carols, all sorts of games,—backgammon, dice [20] and cards; pictures of various lands,
towns and persons, inventions and amusing tricks; all kinds of
waters, perfumes, pigments and spots to make the ugly fair, and
the old look young, and the leman’s malodorous bones smell
sweet for the nonce. In short, the shadow of pleasure and
the guise of happiness in every conceivable form was to be found
there; and sooth to say, I almost think I too had been enticed by
the place had not my friend instantly hurried me away far from
the three alluring towers to the top end of the streets, and set
me down near an immense palatial castle, the front view of which
seemed fair, but the further side was mean and terribly ugly,
though it was scarcely to be seen at all. It had a myriad
portals—all splendid without but rotten within.
“An’t please you, my lord,” asked I,
“what is this wondrous place?” “This is
the court of Belials’ second daughter whose name is
Hypocrisy; here she keeps her school, and there is no man or
woman throughout the whole city who has not been a pupil of hers,
and most of them have imbibed their learning remarkably well; so
that her lessons are discernible as a second nature intertwined
with all their thoughts, words, and deeds from very childhood
almost.” I had been looking awhile on the falsity of
every part of the edifice when a funeral came by with many
weeping and sighing, and many men and horses in mourning
trappings; and shortly the poor widow, veiled so as not to see
this cruel world any more, came along with piping voice and weary
sighs, and fainting fits at intervals. In truth, I could
not help but weep a little out of pity for her. “Nay,
nay,” said the Angel, “keep thy tears for a more
worthy occasion; these voices are only what Hypocrisy has taught,
and these mourning weeds were fashioned in her great
school. Not one of these weep sincerely; the widow, even
before the body had left the house, let in another husband to her
heart; were she rid of the expenses connected with the corpse she
would not care a straw if his soul were at the bottom of hell;
nor do his own kindred care any more than she: for when it went
hardest with him, instead of giving him good counsel and
earnestly praying for mercy upon him, they were talking of his
property, his will or his pedigree; or what a handsome robust man
he was, and such talk; and now this wailing [21] on the part of some is for mere
ceremony and custom, on the part of others for company’s
sake or for pay.”
Scarcely had these gone by than another throng came in sight:
a most gallant lord with his lady at his side, slowly advancing
in state, to whom many men of position doffed, and many were on
tiptoe with eagerness to show him obeisance and reverence.
“Here is a noble lord,” said I, “who is worthy
such respect from all these!” “Wert thou to
take everything to consideration thou wouldst speak
differently. This lord comes from the Street of Pleasure,
she is of the Street of Pride, and yon old man who is conversing
with him comes from the Street of Lucre, and has a mortgage on
almost every acre of my lord’s, and is come to-day to
complete the loan.” We drew nigh to hear the
conversation. “In sooth, sir,” Old Money-bags
was saying, “I would not for all that I possess that you
should lack anything which lies in my power to enable you to
appear your own true self this day, especially seeing that you
have met so beautiful and lovely a lady as madam here” (the
wily dog knowing full well what she was). “By the
— by the —,” said the lord, “next to
gazing at her beauty, my greatest pleasure was to hearken to your
fair reasons; I had liefer pay you interest than get money
elsewhere free.” “Indeed, my lord,” said
one of his chief friends called Flatterer, “nuncle pays you
not a whit less respect than is due to you, but an it please you,
he has bestowed upon her ladyship scarce the half her mead of
praise. I defy any man,” quoth he, “to show a
lovelier woman in all the Street of Pride, or a nobler than you
in all the Street of Pleasure, or a kinder than you, good mine
uncle, in all the Street of Lucre.” “Ah, that
is your good opinion,” said my lord, “but I cannot
believe that any couple were ever more united in the bonds of
love than we twain.” As they went on the crowd
increased, and everyone had a pleasant smile and low bow for the
other, and hastened to salute each other with their noses to the
ground, like a pair of gamecocks on the point of striking.
“Know then,” said the Angel, “that thou hast
seen naught of civility nor heard one word which Hypocrisy has
not taught. There is no one here, after all this
gentleness, who has a hap’orth of love one to another, yea,
many of them are sworn foes. This lord is the butt [23] of everybody, and all have their dig at
him. The lady looks only to his greatness and high degree,
so that she may thereby ascend a step above many of her
neighbours. Old Money-bags has his eye on my lord’s
lands for his own son, and all the others on the money he
received as dowry; for they are all his dependants, his
merchants, tailors, cobblers and other craftsmen, who have decked
him out and maintained him in this splendor, and have never had a
brass farthing for it, nor are likely to get aught save smooth
words and sometimes threats perhaps. How many layers, how
many folds had Hypocrisy laid over the face of Truth! He,
promising greatness to his love, while his lands were on the
point of being sold; she, promising him dower and beauty, while
her beauty is but artificial, and cancer is consuming both her
dowry and her body.” “Well, this teaches
us,” said I, “never to judge by
appearances.” “Yes verily,” said he,
“but come on and I will show thee more.”
At the word he transported me up to where the churches of the
City of Destruction were; for everyone therein, even the
unbelieving, has a semblance of religion. And it was to the
temple of the unbelievers that we first came, and there I saw
some worshipping a human form, others the sun, the moon and a
countless other like gods down to onions and garlic; and a great
goddess called Deceit was universally worshipped. However,
there were some traces of the influence of Christianity to be
found in most of these religions. Thence we came to a
congregation of mutes, [24] where there was
nothing but sighing and quaking and beating the breast.
“Here,” said the Angel, “is the appearance of
great repentance and humility, but which in reality is
perversity, stubbornness, pride and utter darkness; although they
talk much about the light within, they have not even the
spectacles of nature which the heathen thou erstwhile saw,
possess.”
From these dumb dogs we chanced to turn into an immense,
roofless church, with thousands of shoes lying at the porch,
whereby I learnt it was a Turkish mosque. These had but
very dark and misty spectacles called the Koran; yet through
these they gazed intently from the summit of their church for
their prophet, who falsely promised to return and visit them long
ago, but has left his promise unfulfilled.
From thence we entered the Jewish synagogue—these too
were unable to flee from the City of Destruction, although they
had grey-tinted spectacles, for when they look a film comes over
their eyes from want of anointing them with that precious
ointment—faith.
Next we came to the Papists. “Here is the church
that beguiles the nations,” exclaimed the Angel, “it
was Hypocrisy that built this church at her own cost. For
the Papists encourage, yea, command men to break an oath with a
heretic even though sworn on the sacraments.” From
the chancel we went through the keyholes, up to the top of a
certain cell which was full of candles, though it was broad
daylight, and where we could see a tonsured priest walking about
as if expecting someone to come to him; and ere long there comes
a buxom matron, with a fair maid in her wake, bending their knees
before him to confess their sins. “My spiritual
father,” said the good wife, “I have a burthen too
heavy to bear unless I obtain your mercy to lighten it: I married
a member of the Church of England!”
“What!” cried the shorn-pate, “married a
heretic! wedded to an enemy? forgiveness can never be
obtained!” At these words she fainted, while he kept
calling down imprecations upon her head. “Woe’s
me, and what is worse,” cried she when come to herself,
“I killed him!” “Oh ho! thou hast killed
him? Well, that’s something towards gaining the
reconciliation of the Church; I tell thee now, hadst thou not
slain him, thou wouldst never have obtained absolution nor
purgatory, but a straight gate and a leaden weight to the
devil. But where’s your offering, you jade?” he
demanded with a snarl. “Here,” said she,
handing him a considerable bag of money.
“Well,” said he, “now I’ll make your
reconciliation: your penance is to remain always a widow lest you
should make another bad bargain.” When she was gone,
the maiden also came forward to make her confession.
“Your pardon, father confessor,” cried she, “I
conceived a child and slew it.” “A fair deed,
i’faith,” said the confessor, “and who might
the father be?” “Indeed ’twas one of your
monks.” “Hush, hush,” he cried,
“speak no ill of churchmen. [25] What
satisfaction have you for the Church?” “Here it
is,” said she and handed him a gold trinket.
“You must repent, and your penance will be to watch at my
bedside to-night,” he said with a leer. Hereupon four
other shavelings entered, dragging before the confessor a poor
wretch, who came about as willingly as he would to the
gallows. “Here’s for you a rogue,” cried
one of the four, “who must do penance for disclosing the
secrets of the Catholic Church.” “What!”
exclaimed the confessor, looking towards a dark cell near at
hand: “but come, villain, confess what thou hast
said?” “Indeed,” began the poor fellow,
“a neighbour asked me whether I had seen the souls that
were groaning underneath the altar on All-souls’ day; and I
said I had heard the voice, but had seen nothing.”
“So, sirrah, come now, tell everything.”
“I said moreover,” he continued, “that I had
heard that you were playing tricks on us unlettered hinds, that,
instead of souls, there was nothing but crabs making a row under
the carpet.” “Oh, thou hell-hound! cursed
knave!” cried the confessor, “but, proceed,
mastiff.” “And that it was a wire that turned
the image of St. Peter, and that it was along a wire the Holy
Ghost descended from the roodloft upon the priest.”
“Thou heir of hell!” cried the shriver, “Ho
there, torturers, take him and cast him into that smoky chimney
for tale-bearing.” “Well, this is the church
Hypocrisy insists upon calling the Catholic Church, and she avers
that these only are saved,” said the Angel; “they
once had the proper spectacles, but they cut the glass into a
thousand forms; they once had true faith, but they mixed that
salve with substances of their own, so that they see no better
than the unbelieving.”
Leaving the cell we came to a barn [26] where someone was
delivering a mock sermon extempore, sometimes repeating the same
thing thrice in succession. “These,” said the
Angel, “have the right sort of spectacles to see ‘the
things which belong unto their peace,’ but there is wanting
in their ointment one of the most necessary ingredients, namely,
perfect love. People come hither for various reasons; some
out of respect to their elders, some from ignorance, and many for
worldly gain. One would think, looking at their faces, that
they are on the point of choking, but they will swallow frogs
sooner than starve; for so does Princess Hypocrisy teach those
meeting in barns.
“Pray tell,” said I, “where may the Church
of England be?” “Oh, it is yonder in the upper
city, forming a large part of the Catholic Church, but there are
in this city a few probationary churches belonging to the Church
of England, where the Welsh and English stay for a time on
probation, so that they may become fit to have their names
enrolled as members of the Catholic Church, and ever blessed be
he who shall have his name so enrolled. Yet, more’s
the pity, there are but few who befit themselves for its
citizenship. For too many, instead of looking thitherwards,
allow themselves to be blinded by the three princesses down
below; Hypocrisy too, keeps many with one eye on the upper city
and the other on the lower; yea, Hypocrisy is clever enough to
beguile many who have withstood the other enchantresses.
Enter here, and thou shalt see more,” he said, and snatched
me up into the roodloft in one of the Welsh churches, when the
people were at service; there we saw some busily whispering, some
laughing, some staring at pretty women, others prying their
neighbour’s dress from top to toe; others, in eagerness for
the position due to their rank, keep shoving forward and showing
their teeth at one another, others dozing, others assiduous at
their devotions, and many of these too, dissimulating.
“Thou hast not yet seen, nay, not even among infidels
shamelessness so barefaced and public as this,” said the
Angel, “but so it is, I am sorry to say, there is no worse
corruption than the corruption of the best.” [28a] Then they went to communion, and
everybody appeared fairly reverent before the altar; yet through
my friend’s glass I could see one taking unto himself with
the bread the form of a mastiff, another, that of a mole,
another, that of an eagle, a pig or a winged serpent, and a few,
ah, how few, received a ray of bright light with the bread and
wine. “There,” he pointed out, “is a
Roundhead, who is going to be sheriff, and because the law calls
upon a man to receive the sacrament in the Church before taking
office he has come here rather than lose it, and although there
are some here who rejoice on seeing him, we have felt no joy at
his conversion, because he has only become converted for the
occasion. Thus thou perceivest that Hypocrisy, with
exceeding boldness, approaches the altar in the presence of the
God that cannot be deceived. But though she wields great
power in the City of Destruction, she is of no avail in the City
of Emmanuel beyond those ramparts.”
Upon that we turned our faces from the great City of
Destruction and ascended towards the other city, which was
considerably less; and on our way we met several at the upper end
of the streets who had made a move as of turning away from the
temptations of the gates of Destruction, and making for the gate
of life. But they either failed to find it or grew weary on
the way; very few went through—one man of rueful
countenance, ran in earnest while crowds on all sides derided
him, some mocking, [28b] some threatening
him, and his kindred clinging to him, begging him not to condemn
himself to lose the whole world at one stroke. “I
lose but a small portion of it, and were I to lose all, what
loss, I pray you, would it be? For what is there in the
world to be desired, unless it be deceit, oppression and squalor,
wickedness, folly and madness? Contentment and rest is
man’s supreme happiness—this is not to be found in
your city. For who of you is content? [29] ‘Higher, higher,’ is
the aim of all in the Street of Pride, ‘More, more’
cry all that dwell in the Street of Lucre, ‘Sweet, sweet,
yet more’ is the voice of everybody in the Street of
Pleasure. And as for rest, where is it, and who hath
obtained it? If a man is of high degree, adulation and envy
almost kill him; if poor, everybody is ready to trample and
despise him. If one would prosper, he must set his mind
upon being an intriguer; if one would gain respect, let him be a
boaster or braggart; if one would be godly, and attend church and
approach the altar, he is dubbed a hypocrite, if he abstain from
doing so, he becomes at once an antichrist or a heretic; if he is
light-hearted, he is called a scoffer, if silent, a morose cur;
if he practises honesty, he is but a good-for-nothing fool; if
well dressed, he is proud, if not, he is a pig; if gentle of
speech, he is double-faced and a rogue, whom none can fathom; if
rough, he is an arrogant and froward devil. This is the
world you make so much of, and pray you take my share of it and
welcome,” and at the word he shook himself free of them
all, and away he sped boldly to the narrow gate, and spite of
all, pushing onwards he entered, and we too at his heels.
Upon the battlements on either side of the gate were many men
dressed in black, encouraging the man and applauding him.
“Who are those in black up yonder?” I asked.
“They are the watchmen of King Emmanuel,” answered
he, “who in their sovereign’s name invite men hither
and help them through the gate.”
By this we were at the gate: it was very low and narrow, and
mean, compared with the lower gates; around the door the Ten
Commandments were graven—the first table on the right hand
and above it, “Thou shalt love God with all thy
heart,” and above the other table on the left, “Thou
shalt love thy neighbour as thyself,” and above the whole
“Love not the world neither the things that are in the
world.” I had not been looking on long before the
watchmen began calling in a loud voice upon the condemned men:
“Flee, flee for your lives!” But it was few
that gave any heed at all to them, though some enquired,
“What are we to flee from?” “From the
prince of this world, who ruleth in the children of disobedience;
from the corruption that is in the world through the lust of the
flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life; from the
wrath that is coming upon you.” “What is your
beloved city?” cried a watchman, “but a huge charred
roof over the mouth of hell, and were ye here ye should see the
conflagration beyond your walls ready to burst in and consume you
even unto the bottomless pit.” Some mocked, others,
menacing, bade them have done with their wicked nonsense; yet one
here and there would ask, “Whither shall we
flee?” “Hither,” answered the watchmen,
“flee hither to your rightful king, who through us still
offers you reconciliation, if ye return to your allegiance, and
leave that rebel Belial and his bewitching daughters.
However fair they appear, it is all sham; Belial is but a very
poor prince at home; he has nought but you as faggots for the
fire and for food, both roast and boiled, and never will ye
suffice him; never will his hunger be appeased or your pain
cease. Who would ever in a moment of madness enter the
service of such a malignant slaughterer, and suffer eternal
torments, when he might live well under a king who is merciful
and kind to his subjects, and who hath never done them aught but
good on all sides, and kept them from Belial, so that in the end
he might give to each one a kingdom in the realm of light.
Oh, ye fools, will ye have that terrible foe, whose lips are
parched with thirst for your blood, and reject the compassionate
prince who hath given his own blood to save you?” Yet
these reasons which would melt the rock seemed to have no good
effect upon them, and chiefly because few had the time to listen
to them, the others were too intently gazing at the gates; and of
those listening, very few reflected thereon, and of these again,
many soon forgot them; some would not believe they served Belial,
others would not have it that this untrodden little hole was the
gate of Life, and that the other bright portals, and this castle,
were a delusion to prevent them seeing their doom before coming
face to face with it.
Just then, behold a troop of people from the Street of Pride,
knocking boldly enough at the gate; but they were all so
stiff-necked that they could never enter a place so low without
soiling their periwigs and horns, so they sulkily retraced their
steps. In their wake there came up a group from the Street
of Lucre: “And is this the Gate of Life?” asked one;
“Yea,” said the watchman overhead. “What
must be done to enter?” he enquired. “Read what
is inscribed above the doorway and ye shall know.”
The miser read the Ten Commandments through: “Who will say
that I have broken one of these?” he exclaimed. But
when he looked up, and saw the words, “Love not the world,
nor the things that are in the world,” he was amazed, and
could not swallow that hard saying. There was one,
green-eyed and envious, who turned back when he read: “Thou
shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.” There was a
gossip and a slanderer who became dazed on reading: “Thou
shalt not bear false witness.” When he read,
“Thou shalt not kill,” “This is not the place
for me” quoth the physician. In short, everybody saw
something which troubled him, and so they all returned together
to consider the matter. I saw no one yet come back who had
conned his lesson; they had so many bags and scripts tightly
bound to them, that they could never have got through such a
narrow needle’s eye, even if they had tried to. After
that a drove from the Street of Pleasure walked up to the
gate. “Where, pray, does this road lead to?”
asked one of the watchmen. “This,” answered he,
“is the way that leads to eternal joy and
happiness.” Whereupon all strove to enter, but
failed, for some were too stout to pass through such a strait
opening; others too weak to struggle, being enfeebled through
debauchery. “Oh, ye must not attempt to take your
baubles with you,” said the watchman, observing them;
“ye must leave behind your pots and dishes, your minions,
and all other things, and then hasten on.” “How
shall we live?” asked the fiddler, who would have been
through long since but that he feared to smash his fiddle.
“Ye must trust the king’s promise to send after you
as many of these things as will do you good,” said the
watchman. This made them all prick their ears, “Oh,
oh!” said one, “a bird in hand is worth two in the
bush,” and at that they with one accord turned back.
“Let us enter then,” said the Angel, and drew me
in; and there in the porch I first of all perceived a large
baptismal font, and hard by, a well of salt water.
“What is this doing in the middle of the road?” I
asked. “Because everybody must wash therein before
obtaining citizenship in the Court of Emmanuel; it is called the
well of repentance.” Overhead I could see inscribed
“This is the gate of the Lord.” The gateway,
and street also, widened and became less steep as we went on, and
after proceeding a short distance I heard a voice behind me
slowly saying, “That is the way, walk ye in
it.” The street trended upwards, but was very clean
and straight, and though the houses there were not so lofty as
those in the City of Destruction, they were fairer to behold; if
there was less wealth, there was also less dissension and care;
if the choice dishes were fewer, pain was more rare; if there was
less turmoil, there was less grief and more undoubtedly of true
joy. I wondered at the silence and sweet tranquility there,
when thinking of what was going on below. Instead of the
cursing and swearing, the scoffing, debauchery and drunkenness,
instead of the pride and vanity, the torpitude of one quarter and
the violence of another, yea, for all the bustle and the pomp,
the hurly-burly and the brawl which there unceasingly bewildered
men, and for the innumerable and unvarying sins, there was
nothing to be seen here but sobriety, kindness and cheerfulness,
peace and thankfulness, compassion, innocence and contentment
stamped upon the face of every man, except where one or two
silently wept, grieving that they had tarried so long in the
enemy’s city. There was no hatred or anger, except
towards sin, and this was certain to be overcome; no fear, but of
displeasing their king, who was more ready to be reconciled than
to be angry with his subjects; no sound, but that of psalms of
praise to their Saviour. By this we had come in sight of an
exceedingly fine building, oh, so magnificent! No one in
the City of Destruction, neither the Turk nor the Mogul nor any
one else, has anything equal to it. “This is the
Catholic Church,” said the Angel. “Is it here
Emmanuel holds his court?” asked I. “Yes, this
is the only royal court he has on earth.” “Are
there many crowned heads beneath his sway?” “A
few—thy queen, some of the princes of Scandinavia and
Germany, and a few other petty princes.” “What
is that compared with those over whom great Belial
rules—emperors and kings without number?”
“For all that,” said the Angel, “not one of
them can move a finger without Emmanuel’s
permission—no, not even Belial himself. For Emmanuel
is his rightful liege too, only that he rebelled, and was in
consequence bound in chains to all eternity; although he is still
allowed for a short period to visit the City of Destruction where
he entices all he can into like rebellion, and to bear a share of
his punishment; and though he well knows that by so doing he
increases his own penalty, [34] yet malice and envy
urge him on whenever he has a pretext, and so much does he love
evil that he seeks to destroy this city and this edifice,
although he knows of yore that its Saviour is
invincible.”
“Prithee, my lord,” said I, “may we approach
so as to obtain a better view of this magnificent royal
court” (for my heart waxed warm towards the place since
first I had beheld it). “Oh yes, easily,”
answered the Angel, “for therein is my place, my duty and
my work.” The nearer I came thereto the more I
wondered at the height, strength, splendour, grandeur, and beauty
of its every part, how skilful the work was, and how apt the
materials. Its base was an enormous rock wondrously
fashioned, and of strength impregnable; upon it were living
stones, laid and joined in such perfect order that no stone could
possibly appear finer elsewhere than in its own place. One
part of the church projected in the form of a wonderfully
handsome cross, and the Angel saw me looking at it, and said,
“Dost thou recognise that part?” I knew not
what to answer. “That is the Church of
England,” he said. I was somewhat startled, and
looking up beheld Queen Anne on the church-top enthroned, with a
sword in each hand—the one in the left called
“Justice,” to defend her subjects against the
inhabitants of the City of Destruction, the one in the right, to
preserve them from Belial and his spiritual evils, and this was
called “the sword of the Spirit,” or the Word of
God. Beneath the left sword lay the statute book of
England, and beneath the other, a big Bible. The sword of
the Spirit was fiery, and of immense length, and would kill
further away than the other would touch. I could see the
other princes with like arms defending their part of the church,
but I deemed mine own queen fairest of all, and her arms the
brightest. At her right hand I observed throngs clad in
black—archbishops, bishops, and learned men upholding with
her the sword of the Spirit, while soldiers and officials, with a
few lawyers, supported the other sword. I was allowed to
rest awhile, by one of the magnificent doors where people came in
to obtain membership in the Universal Church, and whereat a tall
angel was doorkeeper. The interior of the church was lit up
so brilliantly that Hypocrisy dared not show her face therein,
and though sometimes she appeared at the threshold she never
entered. Just as I saw, in the space of a quarter of an
hour, a Papist, who thought that the Catholic Church belonged to
the Pope, came and claimed its freedom. “What have
you to prove your right?” demanded the porter.
“I have plenty of the traditions of the fathers, and of
councils of the church,” he answered, “but what need
I more certain than the word of the Pope, who sits in the
infallible chair?” Then the doorkeeper opened a huge
Bible—a load in itself; “This,” said he,
“is our only statute book—prove your right from this
or go.” And he straightway departed.
Then came a flock of Quakers, who wished to enter with their
hats on, but were turned away for being so ill-mannered.
After them some of the barn-folk, who had been there only a short
while, began to speak: “We have the same statute book as ye
have,” they averred, “and therefore show us our
privileged place.” “Stay,” said the
bright porter, steadfastly gazing on their foreheads, “I
will show you something: see yon mark of the rent ye made in the
church when leaving it without cause or reason? And would
ye now have a place therein? Get ye back to the narrow
gate, and wash thoroughly in the well of repentance, to see if ye
will reach some of the royal blood ye erstwhile drank [36] and bring some of the water of that
well to moisten the clay, so as to make up yonder rent and then
ye are welcome.”
Before we had gone a rood westward I heard a noise coming from
above, from among the princes, and everybody, great and small,
was taking up arms and donning his armour as if for war, and ere
I had time to cast about me for a refuge, the whole sky became
black, and the city darker than when an eclipse befalls; the
thunder roared, the lightning flashed to and fro, and ceaseless
showers of deadly shafts were directed from the lower gates
against the Catholic Church, and had there not been in each
man’s hand a shield to receive the fiery darts, and had the
foundation rock not been so strong that nothing could ever harm
it, we all would have become one burning mass. But alack,
this was but a prologue or foretaste of what was to follow; for
suddenly the darkness became sevenfold more intense, and Belial
himself advanced in the densest cloud, and around him his chief
officers both earthly and infernal, ready to receive and
accomplish his behest at their several posts. He had
entrusted the Pope and his other son of France [37] with the destruction of the Church of
England and its queen; the Turks and Muscovites were to strike at
the other sections of the Church, and slay the people, and
especially the queen and the other princes, and above all to burn
the Bible. The first thing the queen and the other saints
did was to bend the knee and tell of their wrongs to the King of
Kings in these words: “The stretching out of his wings
shall fill the breadth of thy land, oh Emmanuel.” And
immediately a voice replied: “Resist the devil and he will
flee from you.” And then commenced the greatest and
most terrible conflict that ever took place on earth. When
the sword of the Spirit began to be whirled round, Belial and his
infernal hosts began to retreat; then the Pope began to waver,
while the King of France still held out, though he too was almost
giving up heart, seeing the queen and her subjects so united,
while he himself was losing ships and men on the one hand, and on
the other many of his subjects were in open revolt; and the
onslaught of the Turk also was becoming less fierce. Just
then, woe’s me, I saw my beloved companion shooting away
from me into the welkin to join a myriad other bright
princes. Thereupon the Pope and the other earthly
commanders began to slink off and become prostrate through fear,
and the infernal princes to fall by the thousands. The
noise of each one falling seemed to me as if a great mountain
fell into the depths of the sea, and between this noise and the
agitation on losing my friend, I awoke from sleep, and returned
to this oppressive sod, most unwillingly, so pleasant and
enjoyable it was to be a free spirit, and above all to be in such
company, notwithstanding the great danger I was in. Now I
had no one to comfort me save the Muse, and she was rather
moody—scarcely could I get her to bray out these lines that
follow:—
Behold this wondrous
edifice,
Both heaven and earth
comprising,
The universe and all that is
At God’s command
arising—
This world, with ramparts wide from pole to pole,
Down from its starry, brilliant dome,
E’en to the depths where angry billows roll,
And beasts that through the forest roam—
All things that sea and sky
afford,
Thy faithful subjects eke to be;
A lesser heaven, a home for thee
Oh! man, creation’s
lord.
But once that thou desired to
know
The ways of sin, seductive,
The hellish tempter, to our woe,
Became a power destructive;
He cursed our earth and ruin brought on all,
Yea, very nature felt the bane—
Its blighted walls now totter to their fall,
And soon disorder rules again.
This earthly palace then at
last,
Unroofed, dismantled and decayed,
A hideous, barren waste is laid
By desolation’s blast.
Behold oh, man! this glorious
place
In the empyrean hovering
While all is but a treach’rous face
Foul swamps and quagmires
covering.
Thy sin, that whelmed this earth in days of yore,
Shall draw upon it quenchless fire
With flaming torrents wildly rushing o’er—
A prey to conflagration dire;
If thou wouldst ’scape this
dreadful fate,
I pray thee counsel take from me,
To Mercy’s city straightway flee
For life within its gate.
Behold that city’s
peerless might
Withstanding all
oppression—
Then flee thereto in thy sad plight,
Be free from sin’s
possession.
Behold thy refuge in this dreary land
Where all may find true, peaceful rest,
A rock, impregnable on every hand,
Where perfect love reigns ever blest;
We sinful men, the way must
search,
And there in faith for pardon pray,
And live a blissful, tranquil day
Within the Holy Church.
One long, cold, and dark winter’s night, when
one-eye’d Phœbus well nigh had reached his utmost
limit in the south and, from afar, lowered upon Great Britain and
all the Northern land, and when it was much warmer in the kitchen
of Glyn Cywarch [43a] than at the top of Cader Idris, and
better in a cosy room with a warm bedfellow than in a shroud in
the lychgate, I was meditating upon a talk I had had by the
fireside with a neighbour concerning the brevity of human life,
and how certain it was that death would come to all, and yet how
uncertain its coming. Thus engaged, I had just lain down,
and was half-asleep, when I felt a heavy weight stealthily
creeping over me, from head to heel, so that I could not move a
finger—my tongue only was unbound. I perceived,
methought, a man upon my chest, and above him, a woman.
After eyeing him carefully I recognised by his strong odours,
dewy locks and blear eyes, that the man was no other than my good
Master Sleep. “I pray you, sir,” cried I,
squeaking, “what have I done to you that you bring that
witch here to torment me?” “Hush,” said
he, “it is only my sister Nightmare; we twain are going to
pay our brother Death [43b] a visit, and want
a third to accompany us, and lest thou shouldst resist we came
upon thee, just as he does, unawares. Consequently come
thou must, willy-nilly.” “Alas,” I cried,
“must I die?” “Nay,” said
Nightmare, “we will spare thee this time.”
“But an’t please you,” said I, “your
brother Death has never spared anyone yet who came beneath his
stroke—he who wrestled with the Lord of Life himself,
though it was little he gained by that contest.”
Nightmare, at that word, rose up angrily and departed.
“Come along,” cried Sleep, “thou wilt never
repent of thy journey.” “Well,” said I,
“may there never be night in Sleepton, and may Nightmare
never have rest save on an awl’s point if ye bring me not
back where ye found me.”
Then away we went over hills and through forests, across seas
and valleys, over castles and towers, rivers and rocks, and where
should we alight but at one of the gates of the daughters of
Belial, at the rear of the City of Destruction, where I noticed
that the three gateways of Destruction contracted into one at the
back, and opened upon the same place—a murky, vaporous,
pestilent place, full of noisome mists, and terrible lowering
clouds. “Prithee, good sir,” asked I,
“what place be this?” “The chambers of
Death,” replied Sleep. And no sooner had I asked than
I could hear some wailing, groaning, and sighing; some
deliriously muttering to themselves or feebly moaning, others in
great travail, and with all the signs of man’s departure
from life; and, now and then, would one give a long-drawn gasp,
and lapse into silence. At that moment, I heard a key being
turned in a lock, and at the noise I looked around for the door,
and gazing steadfastly, perceived thousands upon thousands of
doors, seemingly afar off but really close at hand.
“Please, Master Sleep, where do these doors open
upon?” asked I. “Upon the land of
Oblivion,” was the answer, “an extensive domain [44] under the sceptre of my brother Death,
and this great rampart is the boundary of vast
Eternity.” By this I could see that there was a
little death-imp at every door, each one bearing arms, and a name
different from that of his fellows; though it was evident that
they, one and all, were the ministers of the same king.
Nevertheless they were continually quarrelling about the sick;
one would snatch the patient to take him as a gift through his
own door, while another strove to take him through his.
On our approach, I observed that over each door the name of
the Death who kept it was written, and also that at each door
were an hundred various things left all of a heap, showing
plainly that those who went through were in haste. Over one
door I saw “Hunger,” and yet on the floor close by
were full purses, and bags, and brass-nailed trunks.
“This is the Porch of Misers,” said Sleep.
“Whom do those rags belong to?” “To the
misers, mostly,” he replied, “but there are some
which belong to idlers, gossipmongers and others, who, poor in
everything except in spirit, preferred to die of hunger rather
than ask for help.” Next door was Death-by-Cold, and
when I came opposite him I could hear much shuddering and
shivering, and at his door, were many books, pots and flagons, a
few sticks and bludgeons, compasses, cords and ship’s
tackle. “Scholars have gone this way,” said
I. “Yea, lonely and helpless, far from the succour of
those who loved them, their very garments stolen from them.
Those,” he continued, pointing to the pots, “are
relics of the boon companions, whose feet were benumbed under the
benches, while their heads were seething in drink and noise;
those things over there belonged to those who journeyed amid
snow-clad mountains, and to North Sea traders.” The
next was a lanky skeleton called Fear-Death—so transparent
you could see he had no heart; at his door, too, there were bags
and chests, bars and strongholds. Through this one went
userers and traitors, oppressors and murderers, though many of
these last called at the next door, at which was a Death named
Gallows, with a rope ready round his neck. Next to him was
Love-Death, and at his feet thousands of musical instruments and
song-books, love-letters, spots and pigments to beautify the
face, and hundreds of tinselled toys for the same purpose,
together with a few swords: “With these rivals have fought
duels for their mistresses, and some have killed
themselves,” said Sleep. I could see that this Death
was sandblind. At the next door was a Death whose colour
was worst of all, and whose liver was entirely gone—his
name was Envy. “This is the Death,” said Sleep,
“which brings hither those who have lost money, slanderers,
and a rideress or two, who are jealous of the law which demands
that a wife should submit herself unto her husband.”
“Pray, sir, what is a rideress?” “A
rideress is a woman who will over-ride her husband, her
neighbourhood, and the whole country if she can, and by dint of
long riding, at last, rides a devil from that door down to the
bottomless pit.” Next was the door of Ambition-Death
for those who hold their heads high, and break their necks, for
want of looking on the ground they tread on; at this door lay
crowns, sceptres, standards, petitions for offices, and all
manner of arms of heraldry and war.
But before I had time to notice any more of these innumerable
doors, I heard a voice bidding me by name to be dissolved, and at
the word I felt myself beginning to melt like a snowball in the
heat of the sun; then my master gave me a sleeping draught, so
that I slumbered; and when I awoke, he had taken me by some road
or other far away on the other side of the castle. I
perceived myself in a pitch-dark vale of infinite radius,
methought, and shortly, I saw by a few bluish lights, like the
flickering flame of a candle, countless, ah! countless shades of
men, some afoot and some on horseback, rushing back and fro like
the wind, in awful silence and solemnity; the land was barren,
bleak and blasted, without either grass or hay, trees or animals,
save deadly beasts and poisonous vermin of every
kind—serpents, snakes, lice, frogs, worms, locusts, gids
and all such that exist on man’s corruption. Through
a myriad shades and reptiles, graves, churchyards and tombs, we
made our way to view the land unmolested, until I happened to see
some turning round and looking at me; in an instant,
notwithstanding the prevailing silence, a whisper passed from one
to another that there was a man from earth there. “A
man from earth!” cried one, “a man from earth,”
exclaimed another, while they crowded round me, like
caterpillars, from every quarter. “Which way came
you, sirrah?” asked a morkin of a death-imp.
“Indeed, sir,” said I, “I know not any more
than you do.” “What is your name?” he
asked. “Call me here in your own country what ye
will, but at home I am called the Sleeping Bard.”
At that word I could see an ancient mannikin, bent double,
head to feet, like a bramble, straightening himself, and looking
at me more malignantly than the red devil, and without a word he
hurled a big skull at my head, but, thanks to a sheltering
tombstone, missed me. “Truce, sir, I pray you,”
cried I, “to a stranger who was never here before, and will
never come again, could I but once find the way
home.” “I’ll make you remember
you’ve been here,” quoth he, and, again setting upon
me with a thighbone, he beat me most unmercifully, while I dodged
about as best as I could. “Ho ho!” I cried,
“this country is very unmannerly towards strangers; is
there no justice of the peace here?” “Peace,
indeed,” said he, “thou, surely, hast no right to sue
for peace, who disturbest the dead in their graves.”
“Pray, sir, might I know your name, for I wot not that I
have ever molested anyone from this country?”
“Sirrah!” cried he, “know then that I, and not
you, am the Sleeping Bard, and have been left in peace these nine
centuries by all but you,” and again he set upon me.
“Withhold, brother,” said Merlin [48a] who stood near, “be not too
hasty; thank him rather for that he hath kept your name in
respected memory on earth.” “In great respect,
forsooth,” quoth he, “by such a blockhead as
this. Are you, sirrah, versed in the four and twenty
metres? Can you trace the line of Gog and Magog and of
Brutus son of Silvius [48b] down to a century
before the destruction of Troy? Can you prophesy when, and
how the wars between the lion and the eagle, and between the stag
and the red deer will end? Can you?” “Ho
there! let me ask him a question,” said another who stood
by a huge seething cauldron, [48c] “draw near,
and tell me the meaning of this:—
“Upon the face of earth I’ll be
Until the judgment day,
And whether I be fish or flesh
No man can ever say.” [48d]
“I would know your name, sir,” said I, “so
that I might the more befittingly give answer.”
“I am Taliesin, Chief of the Western Bards, [48e] and those are lines from my
mystery-song.” “I know not what your meaning
may be, if it be not the yellow plague which destroyed Maelgwn
Gwynedd, [49a] slew you upon the sea, and divided you
between the ravens and fishes.” “Tush, you
fool,” cried he, “I was foretelling of my two
callings—as lawyer and poet—and which sayest thou now
bears greatest resemblance, whether a lawyer to a raven, or a
poet to a whale? How many will a single lawyer lay bare of
flesh to swell his own paunch, and oh! so callously doth he shed
blood and leave the man half dead! The poet, too, what fish
can gulp as much as he? And though he hath always a sea
round him, not all the ocean can quench his thirst. And
when a man is both a poet and a lawyer, who can tell whether he
is fish or flesh, and especially if he be a courtier as well, as
I was, and had to change his taste with every mouth. But
tell me, are there many of these folk now on earth?”
“Yes, plenty,” answered I, “if a man can patch
together any sort of metre, straightway he becomes a chaired
bard. And of the others, there is such a plague of
barristers, petty lawyers, and clerks that the locusts of Egypt
preyed less heavily on the country than they. In your time,
sir, there were only roadside bargains and a hands-breadth of
writing on the purchase of a hundred pound farm, and a cairn or
an Arthur’s quoit [49b] raised as a
memorial of the purchase and boundaries. People have not
the courage to do so nowadays, but more cunning, knavery, and
written parchment, wide as a cromlech, is necessary to bind the
bargain, and for all that it would be strange if no flaw existed
or were contrived therein.” “Well, well,”
said Taliesin, “I would not be worth a straw there, I may
as well be here; truth will never be found where there are many
bards, nor justice where many lawyers, until health be found
where there be many doctors.”
Upon this a grey-haired, writhled shrimp, who had heard of the
presence of an earthly man, came and fell at my feet, weeping
profusely. “Alack, poor fellow,” cried I,
“what art thou?” “One who suffers too
much wrong on earth day by day,” he replied, “and
your soul must obtain me justice.” “What is thy
name?” I enquired. “I am called Someone,”
was the answer, “and there is no love-message, slander,
lie, or tale to breed quarrels, but that I am blamed for most of
them. ‘In sooth,’ said one, ‘she is an
excellent wench, and has spoken highly of you to Someone,
although someone great was seeking her.’ ‘I
heard Someone,’ said another, ‘reckoning a debt of
nine hundred pounds on such and such an estate.’
‘I saw Someone yesterday,’ said the beggar,
‘with a mottled neckerchief, like a sailor, who had come
with a grain vessel to the next port;’ and so every rag and
tag mauls me to suit his own evil purpose. Some call me
‘Friend.’ ‘A friend told me,’ saith
one, ‘that so and so does not intend leaving a single
farthing to his wife, and that there is no love lost between
them.’ Others further disgrace me and call me a crow:
‘a crow tell me there is some trickery going on,’
they say. Yea, some call me by a more honoured
name—Old Man, and yet not a half of the omens, prophecies,
and cures attributed to me are really mine. I never
counselled walking the old way if the new were better, and I
never intended forbidding men to church by saying:
‘Frequent not the place where thou art most welcome,’
and a hundred such. But Someone is the name generally given
me, and most often heard of when anything uncommonly bad happens;
for if you ask one where that scandalous lie was told and who
told it. ‘Indeed,’ he will say, ‘I know
not, but Someone in the company said it,’ and if you
enquire of all the company concerning the story, all have heard
it of Someone, but no one knows of whom. Is it not a
shameful wrong?” he cried, “I beg of you to inform
everybody who names me that I uttered nought of such
things. I never invented or repeated a lie to disgrace
anyone, nor a single tale to cause kinsmen to fly at each
other’s throats; I do not come near them; I know nothing of
their scandal, or business, or accursed secrets—they must
not charge me with their evils, but their own corrupt
brains.”
Hereupon a little Death, one of the King’s secretaries,
asked me my name, and bade Master Sleep carry me at once into the
King’s presence. I had to go, though most unwilling,
by reason of the power that took me up like a whirlwind,
’twixt high and low, thousands of miles back on our left,
till we came, a second time, in sight of the boundary wall, and
in an enclosed corner we could see a vast palace, roofless and in
ruins, extending to the wall wherein were the countless doors,
all of which led to this terrible court. Its walls were
built of human skulls with hideous, grinning teeth; the clay was
black with mingled tears and sweat, the lime ruddy with
gore. On the summit of each tower stood a Deathling, with a
quivering heart on the point of his shaft. Around the court
were a few trees—a poisonous yew or twain, or a deadly
cypress, and in these owls, ravens, vampires and the like, make
their nests, and cry unceasingly for flesh, although the whole
place is but one vast, putrid shamble. The pillars of the
hall were made of thighbones, and those of the parlour of
shinbones, while the floors were formed of layer upon layer of
all manner of charnel.
I had not to wait a longwhile ere I came in view of a
tremendous altar, where we could see the King of Terrors
devouring human flesh and blood, while a thousand impish deaths,
from every hole, were continually feeding him with warm, fresh
meat. “Here is a rogue,” said the Death that
led me thither, “whom I found in the midst of the land of
Oblivion, having approached so light-footed that your majesty
never tasted a bite of him,” “How can that
be?” demanded the king, opening his jaws, wide as a chasm,
to swallow me. Whereupon I turned trembling to Sleep.
“It was I who brought him hither,” said he.
“Well then, for my brother Sleep’s sake,” said
the awful and lanky monarch, “you can retrace your steps
for the nonce; but beware of me the next time.”
Having been for some time cramming his gluttonous maw with
carrion, he caused his subjects to be called together, and moved
from the altar to a very lofty and dreadful throne, to adjudge
newly-arrived prisoners. In an instant, lo! the dead in
countless multitudes paid homage to the king, and took their
places in wonderful array. King Death was in his regal robe
of brilliant scarlet, whereon depicted were wives and children
weeping and husbands sighing; on his head a dark-red,
three-cornered cap, a gift his cousin Lucifer had sent him, on
the corners of which were written Grief, Sorrow, and Woe.
Above his head were a myriad pictures of battles on land and sea,
of towns aflame, of the earth yawning, and of the waters of the
deluge; the ground beneath his feet was nought else than the
crowns and sceptres of all the kings he had ever conquered.
At his right hand sat Fate with a morose and scowling visage,
reading an enormous tome that lay before him; at his left, was an
old man called Time, warping innumerable threads of gold, silver,
copper, and many of iron—some threads were growing better
towards the end, a myriad worse; along the threads were marked
hours, days and years, and Fate, at his book, cut the thread of
life and opened the doors in the boundary wall between the two
worlds.
I had not been looking about me long, when I heard four
fiddlers, just dead, summoned to the bar. “How is
it,” asked the King of Terrors, “that ye, who are so
found of joy, did not stay on yonder side of the chasm? For
on this side joy never existed.” “We have done
no man ever any hurt,” said one of the minstrels,
“but on the contrary have made them merry, and quietly took
whatever was given us for our pains.” “Have ye
caused no one,” said Death, “to lose time from his
work, or to absent himself from church, eh?”
“No,” replied another, “unless we were some
Sundays after service in an inn till the morrow, or in summer
time on the village green, and indeed we had a better and more
beloved congregation than the parson.” “Away,
with them to the land of Oblivion,” cried the terrible
king, “bind the four, back to back, and pitch them to their
partners, to dance barefoot on glowing hearths, and scrape their
fiddles for ever without praise or pay.”
The next to come to the bar was a king from near Rome.
“Raise thy hand, caitiff,” bade one of the
officers. “I hope,” said he, “ye have
somewhat better manners and favor for a king.”
“Sirrah, you too,” said Death, “ought to have
kept on the other side of the gulf where everybody is king; but
know that, on this side, there are none besides myself and
another, who dwelleth down below, and you shall see that that
king and myself will set no value upon the degree of your
greatness, but rather upon the degree of your wickedness, and so
make your punishment proportionate to your crimes; therefore give
answer to the questions.” “Sir, allow me to
tell you that you have no authority to arrest and examine
me,” said he, “I hold a pardon under the Pope’s
own hand for all my sins. Because I served him faithfully,
he gave me a dispensation to go straight to Paradise, without a
moment’s stay in Purgatory.” At that the king,
and all the lean jaws, gave a dismal grin in imitation of
laughter, and the other, angered at their laughing, ordered them
to show him the way. “Silence, lost fool!”
cried Death, “Purgatory lies behind thee, on the other side
of the wall, for it was in life thou hadst ought to have purified
thyself, and Paradise is on the right, beyond that chasm.
Now there is no way of escape for thee, neither across this abyss
to Paradise, nor through the boundary wall back to earth; for
wert thou to give thy kingdom—though thou hast not a
ha’penny to give—the warder of those doors would not
let thee look once, even through the keyhole. This is
called the irremeable wall, for once it is passed there is no
hope of return. But since you are so high in the
Pope’s favor, [54] you shall go and get
his bed ready with his predecessor, and there you may kiss his
toe for ever, and he, the toe of Lucifer.” At the
word, four death-imps raised him up, now trembling like an aspen
leaf, and snatched him away out of sight, with the speed of
lightning.
Next after him, came a man and woman; he had been a boon
companion, and she a kind and lavish maid, but there they were
called by their plain, unvarnished names, a drunkard and a
harlot. “I hope,” said the drunkard, “I
may obtain some favor in your eyes, for I despatched hither on a
flood of good ale many a fatted prey, and when I failed to slay
others, I willingly came myself to feed you.”
“By the court’s leave,” said the minion,
“not half so many as I have despatched to you as a burnt
offering ready for table.” “Ha, ha,”
exclaimed Death, “it was to feed your own accursed lusts,
and not me, that all this was done. Let them be bound
together and hurled into the land of darkness.” And
so they too were hurried away headlong.
Next to them came seven recorders, who, on being bidden to
raise their hands [55] to the bar, pretended not to hear the
command, for their palms were so thickly greased. One of
them, bolder than the rest, began to argue, “We ought to
have had fair citation, in order to prepare our reply, instead of
being attacked unawares.” “Oh, we are not bound
to give you any particular notice,” said Death,
“because ye have, everywhere, and everywhile throughout
your lives, warning of my advent. How many sermons on the
mortality of man have ye heard? How many books, how many
graves, knells and fevers, how many messages and signs, have ye
seen? What is your Sleep but my brother? Your heads
but my image? Your daily food but dead creatures?
Seek not to lay the blame of your ill hap on my
shoulders—ye would not hear of the summons, although ye had
it an hundred times.” “Pray what have you
against us?” asked one ruddy recorder. “What
indeed?” exclaimed Death, “the drinking the sweat and
blood of the poor, and the doubling your fees.”
“Here is an honest man,” he said, pointing to a
wrangler behind them, “who knows I never did aught but what
was fair, and it is not fair in you to detain us here, seeing you
have no specific charge to prove against us.”
“Ha, ha!” cried Death, “ye shall bring proof
against yourselves; place them on the verge of the precipice
before the throne of Justice; there they will obtain justice,
though they practised it not.”
There were yet seven other prisoners, who kept up such
commotion and clamour—some blandishing, gnashing the teeth
and uttering threats, others giving advice and so on.
Scarcely had they been summoned to the bar than the whole court
darkened sevenfold more hideously than before, a murmuring and
great confusion arose around the throne, and Death became more
livid than ever. Upon enquiry it seemed that one of
Lucifer’s envoys had arrived, bearing a letter to Death,
concerning these seven prisoners; and shortly, Fate called for
silence to read the letter which, as far as I can recollect, was
as follows:—
“Lucifer, King
of the Kings of Earth, Prince of Perdition and Archruler
of the Deep, To our natural son, mightiest and most
terrible King Death, greeting, wishing you
supremacy and booty without end:
“Whereas some of our swift messengers, who are always
out espying, have informed us that there lately came into your
royal court seven prisoners of the seven most worthless and
dangerous species in the world, and that you are about to hurl
them over the precipice into my realm: our advice is, that you
endeavour, by every possible way, to let them return to the
earth; there they will be more serviceable—to you, in the
matter of food, to me, for supplying better company. We had
too much trouble with their partners in days gone by, and our
kingdom is, even now, unsettled. Wherefore, turn them back
or retain them yourself; for, by the infernal crown, if thou cast
them hither, I will undermine the foundations of thy kingdom,
until it fall and become one with mine own great realm.
“From our Court, on the miry Swamp in the
glowing Evildom, in the year of our reign,
5425.”
King Death, his visage green and livid, stood for a time
undecided. But while he was meditating, Fate turned upon
him such a grim frown that he trembled. “Sire,”
said Fate, “consider well what you are about to do. I
dare not allow anyone to repass the bounds of Eternity—the
insurmountable ramparts, nor deign you harbour any here,
wherefore, send them on to their doom, spite of the great Evil
One. He has been able to array in a moment many a haul of a
thousand or ten thousand souls, and allot each one his place, and
what difficulty will he have with these seven now, however
dangerous they may be? Whatever happen, even if they
overturn the infernal government, send them thither instantly,
lest I be commanded to crush thee to untimely nothingness.
As for his menaces, they are false, and although thy doom, and
that of yon ancient (looking at Time), are not many pages hence,
yet, thou need have no fear of sinking down to Lucifer, for
however glad everybody there would be to have thee, they never
will; for the eternal rocks of steel and adamant, which roof
Hell, are somewhat too firm to be shattered.”
Whereupon Death, in great agitation, called for someone to indite
thus his reply:—
“Death, King
of Terrors, Conqueror of Conquerors, To our most
revered kinsman and neighbour, Lucifer, Monarch of
the Endless Night, and Emperor of the Sheer Vortex,
Salutation:
“After giving earnest thought to this your royal wish,
it seemeth to us more advantageous, not only to our state, but
also to your vast realm, that these prisoners be sent to the
furthest point possible from the portals of the impervious wall,
left their putrid odour should so terrify the entire City of
Destruction that no one would ever enter Eternity from that side
of the gulf, and I, in consequence, would be unable to cool my
sting, and you should have no commerce betwixt earth and
hell. But I leave you to judge them, and to cast them into
the cells you deem most secure and befitting.
“From our Lower Court in the Great Tollgate of
Destruction: from the year of the restoration of my Kingdom,
1670.”
After hearing all this, I was itching to know what manner of
folk these seven might be, seeing that the devils themselves
feared them so much. But ere long, the Clerk to the Crown
calls them by name, as follows: “Mister Busybody, alias
Finger-in-every-pie.” This fellow was so fussily and
busily directing the others, that he had no leisure to answer to
his name until Death threatened to sunder him with his
dart. Then, “Mr. Slanderer, alias
Foe-of-Good-Fame,” was called, but no response came.
“He is rather bashful to hear his titles,” said the
third, “he can’t abide the nicknames.”
“Have you no titles, I wonder?” asked the Slanderer,
“call Mr. Honey-tongued Swaggerer, alias Smoothgulp, alias
Venomsmile.” “Here,” cried a woman, who
was standing near, pointing to the Swaggerer. “Ha,
Madam Huntress!” cried he, “your humble servant; I am
glad to see you well, I never saw a more beautiful woman in
breeches, but woe’s me to think how pitiable is the
country, having lost in you such an unrivalled ruler; and yet,
your pleasant company will make hell itself somewhat
better.” “Oh, thou scion of evil,” cried
she, “no one need a worse hell than to be with
thee—thou art enough.” Then the crier called,
“Huntress, alias Mistress o’ the
Breeches.” “Here,” answered someone else,
she herself not saying a word because they did not
“madam” her. Next was called the Schemer, alias
Jack-of-all-Trades. But he, too, failed to answer, for he
was assiduously plotting to escape the Land of Despair.
“Here, here,” cried someone behind him, “here
he is spying for a place to break out of your great court, and
unless you be on your guard, he has a considerable plot against
you.” “Then,” said the Schemer,
“Let him also be called, to wit, The
Accuser-of-his-Brethren, alias Faultfinder, alias
Complaint-monger.” “Here, here he is,”
cried the Litigious Wrangler—for each one knew the
other’s name, but none would acknowledge his own.
“You are also called,” said the Accuser, “Mr.
Litigious Wrangler, alias Cumber-of-Courts.”
“Witness, witness, all of you, what names the knave has
given me,” cried the Wrangler. “Ha, ha,
’tis not according to the font, but according to the fault,
that everybody is named in this land,” said Death,
“and with your permission, Mr. Wrangler, these names must
stick to you for evermore.” “Indeed,”
quoth the Wrangler, “by the devil, I’ll make it hot
for you; although you may put me to death, you have no right to
nickname me. I shall enter a plaint for this and for false
imprisonment, against you and your kinsman Lucifer, in the Court
of Justice.”
By this I could see the armies of Death in array and armed,
looking to the king for the word of command. Then the king,
standing erect on his throne, spoke as follows: “My
terrible and invincible hosts, spare neither care nor haste to
despatch these prisoners out of my territories, lest they corrupt
my country; throw them in bonds headlong over the hopeless
precipice. But as to the eighth, this cumbrous fellow who
menaces me, let him free on the brink beneath the Court of
Justice, so that he may make good his charge against me, if he
can.” No sooner had he sat down than the whole deadly
armies surrounded and bound the prisoners, and led them towards
their appointed dwelling. And when I, having gone out,
half-turned to look at them. “Come hither,”
cried Sleep, and flew with me to the top of the loftiest tower on
the court; from whence I saw the prisoners going forth to their
everlasting doom. Before long a sudden whirlwind arose, and
drove away the pitch-dark mist usually hovering over the Land of
Oblivion, and in the wan light, I could see myriads of livid
candles, and by their gleam, I obtained a far-off view of the
mouth of the bottomless abyss. But if that was a horrible
sight, overhead was one still more horrible—Justice, on her
throne, guarding the portal of hell, and holding a special
tribunal above the entrance thereto, to pronounce the doom of the
damned as they arrive. I beheld the seven hurled headlong
over the terrible verge, and the Wrangler, too, rushing to throw
himself over, lest he should once look on the Court of Justice,
for, alas, the sight thereof was intolerable to guilty
eyes. I was only gazing from a distance, yet I beheld more
dreadful horrors than I can now relate, nor then could endure;
for my spirit so strove and panted through exceeding fear, and
struggled so violently, that all the bonds of Sleep were burst;
my soul returned to its wonted functions, and I rejoiced greatly
to perceive myself still among the living, and resolved to lead a
better life, for I would rather suffer affliction an hundred
years in the paths of holiness than, perforce, take another
glance at the horrors of that night.
1 Must I leave home and fatherland,
And every charm and pleasure?
Leave honored name and high degree
Enjoyed in life’s brief measure?
2 Leave beauty, strength, and wisdom,
too,
All won in hard employment,—
All I have learnt, and all I’ve loved,
And all this world’s enjoyment.
3 Can I evade the stroke of Death
That rends all ties asunder?
Do not his awful shambles gape
For me to be his plunder?
4 Ye gilded men would fain enjoy
The wealth your souls engrossing,
But ye must bow to him and go
The journey of his choosing.
5 Ye favored fair, whose lightest word
Has caused ten thousand errors,
Think not your garish, tinselled charms
Can blind the King of Terrors.
6 Ye who rejoice in heedless youth
And follow fleeting pleasures,
Know that ye cannot conquer Death
By valor, arts, or treasures.
7 Ye who exult in madding song
The giddy dances treading,
Think not that all the mirth of France
Can thwart the fate you’re dreading.
8 Ye who have roamed the wide world
o’er,
Where have ye found the tower,
With walls and portals strong enough
To check Death’s awful power?
9 Statesmen and learned sages, all
Of godlike understanding,
What will your craft and skill avail?
’Tis Death who is commanding.
10 The greatest foes of man are now
The world, the flesh, the devil;
And yet, ere long, we’ll surely find
In Death a greater evil.
11 How little now it seems to
die—
To gain the suit or lose it?
But when the doom is of thyself
How great thy care to chose it?
12 We care, at present, not a jot
Which way our gains may turn us;
Eternal life, howe’er so great,
We think can not concern us.
13 But when thou’rt hedged on every
side
And Death himself is nearest,
For one brief, ling’ring space we’ll give
Whate’er to us is dearest.
14 Think not that thou canst make thy
terms
For thine eternal dwelling,
On either side of that dread gulf,
With death thy steps compelling.
15 Repentence, faith, and
righteousness,
Alone are thy Salvation,
And in the agony of Death
Shall be thy consolation.
16 And when the world is passing by,
Its joys and pleasures ending,
Infinite thou wilt deem their worth
When to the bourne descending!
One April morning, bright and mild, when earth was with
verdure laden, and Britain, like a paradise, had donned its
brilliant livery, foretelling summer’s sunshine, I
sauntered along the banks of the Severn, while around me,
chaunting their sweet carols, the forest’s little songsters
in rivalry poured forth songs of praise to their Maker; and I,
who was far more bounden than they to give praise, at one while
lifted up my voice with the gentle winged choristers, and at
another read “The Practice of Piety.” [67] For all that, my previous visions
would not from my mind, but time after time broke in upon every
other thought. They continued to trouble me until after
careful reasoning I concluded that every vision is a heaven-sent
warning against sin, and that therefore it was my duty to write
them down as a warning to others also. And whilst occupied
with this work, and sadly endeavouring to recall some of those
awful memories, there fell upon me at my task such drowsiness
that soon opened the way for Master Sleep to glide in
perforce. No sooner had sleep taken possession of my senses
than there drew nigh unto me a glorious apparition upon the form
of a young man, tall and exceeding fair; his raiments were whiter
sevenfold than snow, the brightness of his face darkened the sun,
his wavy, golden locks rested on his brow in two shining coronal
wreaths. “Come with me, thou mortal being,” he
exclaimed, when he had drawn near. “Who art thou,
Lord?” said I. “I am the Angel of the realms of
the North,” answered he, “guardian of Britain and its
queen. I am one of the princes who stand below the throne
of the Lamb, receiving his commands to protect the Gospel against
all its enemies in Hell, in Rome and in France, in
Constantinople, in Africa and in India, and wherever else they
may be, devising plans for its destruction. I am the Angel
who saved thee beneath the Castle of Belial, and who showed thee
the vanity and madness of all the earth, the City of Destruction
and the splendor of Emmanuel’s City; and again have I come
at his bidding to show thee greater things, because thou art
seeking to make good use of what thou hast seen
erstwhile.” “How can it be, Lord,” asked
I, “that your glorious highness, guardian of kings and
kingdoms, does condescend to associate with carrion such as
I?” “Ah,” said he, “in our sight a
beggar’s virtue is more than a king’s majesty.
What if I am greater than all the kings of earth, and supreme to
many of the countless lords of heaven? Yet, since our
eternal Sovereign vouchsafed to take upon Himself such
unutterable humiliation—put on one of your bodies, lived in
your midst, and died to save you, how dare I deem it otherwise
than too sublime for my office to serve thee and the meanest of
men, who are so high in my Master’s favor? Hence,
spirit, cast off thine earthy mould!” he cried, gazing
upwards: and at the word, I beheld him fall free of all bodily
form, and snatch me up to the vault of heaven, through the region
of thunder and lightning, and all the glowing armouries of the
empyrean; higher, immeasureably higher than I had previously been
with him, and where the earth appeared scarcely wider than a
stack-yard. Having allowed me to rest awhile, he hurried me
upwards a myriad miles, until the sun appeared far beneath us;
through the milky way, past Pleiades, and many other stars of
appalling magnitude, catching a distant glimpse of other
worlds. And after journeying for a long time, we come at
last to the confines of the great eternity, in sight of the two
courts of the vauntful King of Death—one to the right, the
other to the left, but very far apart from one another as there
lay an immense void between them. I asked whether I might
go and see the court on my right hand, for I observed that this
was not at all like the other I had previously seen.
“Thou shalt perchance,” said he, “see,
somewhile, more of the difference there is between them.
But now we must proceed in another direction.” At
that we turned away from the little world, and across the
intervening space we let ourselves descend into the Eternal Realm
between the two courts, into the formless void, a boundless
tract, most deep and dark, chaotic and uninhabited, at one time
cold, at another hot, [69] now silent, now
resounding with the roaring of cataracts falling and quenching
the fires, and anon of the fire bursting out and burning up the
water. Thus, there was neither order nor completeness, nor
life nor form: nought but this dazing dissonance, this mysterious
stupor which would have made me for ever blind, had not my friend
laid bare once more his vesture of heavenly sheen. By the
light he gave I saw before me to the left the Land of Oblivion,
and the borders of the Wilds of Destruction; and to my right,
methought, the base of the ramparts of Glory. “This
is the great abysm between Abraham and Dives,” said he,
“which is called Chaos: this is the land of the matter
which God did first create, and here is the seed of every living
thing; of these the Almighty Word created your world and all it
doth contain—water, fire, air, earth, beasts, fishes,
insects, birds and the human body; but your souls are of a higher
and nobler origin and stock.”
Through the huge, frightful chaos we at length broke forth to
the left; and ere we had journey’d far therein where every
object grew uglier and uglier, I felt my heart in my throat, and
my hair erect like a hedgehog’s bristles, even before
perceiving anything; but what I did perceive was a sight no
tongue can describe nor the mind of a mortal dwell upon. I
fainted. Oh, that limitless abyss, so dire and terrible,
opening out upon another world! How those awful flames
crackled incessantly as they darted upwards above the banks of
the accursed ravine, and the shafts of impetuous lightning rent
the thick, black smoke which the yawning chasm belched
forth! When my beloved companion awoke me, he gave me
ambrosial water to drink, of most excellent flavor and
color. After drinking this heavenly water I felt some
wonderful power within me,—wit, courage, faith, and many
other divine virtues. Thereupon I drew nigh with him
unfearingly to the edge of the precipice, shrouded in the veil,
whilst the flames parted asunder around us, and dared not touch
denizens of the supernal regions. Then from the edge of
that dread gulf, we let ourselves descend, like two stars falling
from the canopy of heaven, down, down for myriad millions of
miles, over many sulphurous rocks, and many a hideous cataract
and fiery precipice, where all things bent downwards ever, with
impending aspect; yet they all avoided us, except when once I
poked my nose out of the veil, there struck me such a stifling
and choking stench as would have ended me had he not saved me out
of hand with the reviving water. When I had recovered, I
could see that we were come to a halt, for in all that
stupenduous chasm no sooner stay were possible, so sheer and
slippery was it. There my Guide allowed me once more to
rest; and during that respite it chanced that the thunder and the
fierce whirlwinds were a little hushed, and above the roar of the
foaming cataracts, [71] I could hear from afar, louder than
all, the noise of such awful shrieks, wails, cries, and loud
groans, of swearing, cursing and blaspheming, that I would rather
have set a bargain upon my ears than listen. And before we
had moved an inch, we heard from above such hip-drip-drop
that had we not straightway stepped aside, there would have
fallen upon us hundreds of unhappy men whom a host of fiends were
hurling headlong, and too hurriedly to a woful fate.
“Ho, slowly sir!” quoth one sprite, “lest you
displace your curly lock;” and to another “Madam,
will you have your soft cushion? I fear me you will be much
disordered before you reach your resting-place.”
The strangers were most reluctant to advance, insisting that
they were on the wrong road; still, onward they went, up to the
bank of a wide, dark torrent, whilst we followed in their wake
and crossed over with them, my companion, meanwhile, holding the
water to my nostrils to protect me from the stench rising out of
the river. When I beheld some of the inhabitants (for till
now I had not seen a single devil, though I had heard their
voices) I asked: “What, pray, my Guide, is the name of this
death-like stream?” “The river of the Evil
One,” answered he, “wherein all his subjects are
immersed to render them accustomed to the country; its cursed
waters changed their countenance, washing away every relic of
goodness, every shadow of hope and happiness.” And on
seeing the horde pass through, I could perceive no difference in
loathsomeness between the devils and the damned. Some
wished to crouch at the bottom of the river, there to remain in
suffocation to all eternity, rather than find further on a worse
dwelling; but as the proverb says: “He whom the devil urges
must run,” so these damned beings, thrust on by the demons,
were swiftly borne along the stream of destruction to their
eternal ruin; where I too saw at the first glimpse more tortures
and torments than man’s heart can imagine, far less a
tongue repeat; to see one of which was enough to cause
one’s hair to stand on an end, his blood to freeze, his
flesh to melt, his bones to give way, yea and his spirit to swoon
within him. Why speak I of such deeds as the impaling or
sawing of men alive, the tearing of the flesh in pieces with iron
pincers or the broiling of it, chop by chop, with candles, or the
jambing of skulls as flat as a slate, in a press, and all the
most frightful degradation the earth ever witnessed? All
such are but pleasures compared with one of these. Here, a
million shrieks, harsh groans and deep sighs; there, fierce
lamentations and loud cries in answer: the howling of dogs were
sweet, delightful music compared with these voices. Before
we had gone far from the shores of that accursed river into wild
Perdition, we could see by the light of their own fire, here and
there, men and women without number, whom a countless host of
devils unceasingly and with all their might kept always
torturing; and as the devils were shrieking from the intensity of
their own suffering, they made the damned give response to the
utmost. I observed the part nearest me more minutely:
there, the devils with pitchforks hurled them head foremost upon
poisonous hatchels formed of terrible, barbed darts, thereon to
struggle by their brains; then shortly, they threw them together,
layer on layer, upon the summit of one of the burning crags,
there to blaze like a bonfire. Thence they were snatched
away up the ravines amidst the eternal ice and snow; [73] then plunged again into an enormous
flood of seething brimstone to be parched, stifled, and choked by
the direful stench; thence to a quagmire of vermin, to embrace
hellish reptiles far more noxious than serpents or vipers.
After that the devils took knotted rods of fiery steel from the
furnace, wherewith they beat them so that their howls resounded
throughout all Hell, so inexpressibly excruciating was the pain,
and then they seized hot irons to sear the bloody wounds.
No swoon or trance is there to beguile with a moment’s
respite, but an unchanging strength to suffer and to feel; though
one would have thought that after one awful wail there never
could be the strength to raise another as weirdly-loud; yet never
will their key be lowered, with the devils ever answering:
“This is your welcome for aye.” And worse, were
it possible, than the pain, was the scorn and bitterness of the
devils’ mockery and derision, but worst of all, their own
conscience was now thoroughly awakened, and devoured them more
relentlessly than a thousand infernal lions.
Still down we go, down afar—the further we go the worse
the plight; at the first view I saw a horrid prison wherein a
great many men were uttering blasphemous groans beneath the
scourges of the devils: “Who are all these?” asked I;
“This,” answered the Angel, “this is the abode
of Woe-that-I-had-not.” “Woe that I had not
been cleansed of all manner of sin in good time,” quoth
one. “Woe is me that I had not believed and repented
before my coming here,” quoth another. Next to the
cell of Too-late-a-repentance, and of Pleading-after-judgment,
was the prison of the Procrastinators, who were always promising
to mend their ways, but who never fulfilled the promise.
“When this trouble is past,” saith one, “I will
turn over a new leaf.” “When this hinderance
goes by, I’ll be another man yet,” said
another. But when that comes about, they are no nearer;
some other obstacle ever and anon occurs to preventing their
starting towards the gate of holiness; and if sometimes a start
is made, it takes but little to turn them back again. Next
to these was the prison of Presumption, full of those who,
whenever they were urged of old to be rid of their Wantonness, or
drunkenness, or avarice, would say: “God is merciful, and
better than His word; He will never damn his own creature upon a
cause so trivial.” But here they yelped blasphemy,
asking: “Where is that mercy boasted to be
infinite?” “Silence, ye whelps!” said a
huge, crabbed devil who heard them, “Silence! would he have
mercy who did nought to obtain it? Would ye that Truth
should make its word a lie, merely to gain the company of dross
so vile as ye? Was too much mercy shewn you, a Saviour, a
Comforter given you, and the angels, books, sermons and good
examples? Will ye not cease plaguing us now, prating of
mercy where it never was.”
While making our exit from this glaring pit, I heard one
moaning and crying dolefully: “I knew no better; no pains
were ever taken to teach me to read my duties, nor could I spare
the time to read and pray whereof I had need in order to earn
bread for myself and my poor family.”
“Indeed,” quoth a crookback devil who stood close at
hand, “hadst thou no leisure to tell merry tales, no idle
roasting before thy fire through the long winter evenings when I
was up the chimney, so that no time might have been given to
learning to read or pray? What of thy Sabbaths? Who
was it that was wont to accompany me to the alehouse rather than
the parson to the church? How many a Sunday afternoon was
spent in vain, noisy talk of worldly things, or in sleeping,
instead of in learning to meditate and pray? Didst thou act
according to thy knowledge? Silence, sirrah, with thy lying
chatter!” “Thou raving bloodhound!”
exclaimed the condemned, “’tis not long since thou
wert whispering other words in mine ear; hadst thou said this
another day, it is not likely I would have come
hither.” “Ah!” said the devil, “it
matters not that we tell you the hateful truth here; for there is
no fear of your returning hence now to carry tales.”
Lower down I could see a deep, valley whence arose the bluish
glare of what seemed to be a countless number of enormous,
burning mounds; and after drawing nigh, I knew by their howling
that they were men piled mountains high with terrible flames
crackling through them. “That hollow,” said the
Angel, “is the abode of those who after committing some
heinous deeds, exclaim: ‘Well, I am not the first—I
have plenty of companions,’ and thus thou see’st they
have plenty, to verify their words and add to their
affliction.” Opposite this was a large cellar where I
saw men tortured just as withes are twisted or wet sheets
wrung. “Who, prithee, are these?” asked
I. “They are the Mockers,” said he, “and
the devils from pure derision essay to find whether they can be
twisted as pliantly as their tales.” A little below,
but scarcely visible, was another gloomy dungeon-cell, wherein
was what had once been men, but now with the faces of
wolf-hounds, up to their lips in a morass, madly howling
blasphemy and lies as often as they got their tongues clear of
the mire. Just then a legion of devils passed by, and some
attempted to bite the heels of ten or twelve of the devils that
had brought them there: “Woe and ruin take you, ye
hell-hounds!” exclaimed one of the bitten devils, at the
same time stamping upon the quagmire until they sank in the
reeking depths. “Who more deserving of hell than ye,
who gossipped and imagined all manner of tales, who retailed lies
from house to house so that ye might laugh, after setting the
entire neighbourhood at war? What more would one of us have
done?” “This,” said the Angel, “is
the abode of the slanderers, defamers and backbiters, and of all
envious cowards who always do hurt in word or deed behind
one’s back.”
From thence we went past an enormous lair, the vilest I had
yet seen, and the fullest of vermin, of soot, and of
stench. “This,” said he, “is the place of
those who hoped for heaven because they were harmless, in other
words, because they were neither good nor bad.” Next
to this foul pit I saw a great multitude sitting down, whose
groans were more fierce than anything I had heard hitherto in
hell. “Save us all!” cried I, “what makes
these complain more than all others, seeing there be no pain, nor
demon near them?” “Ah,” answered the
Angel, “if the pain without is less, that which is within
is more,—here are stubborn heretics, the godless and
unchristian, many of the worldy-wise, of apostates, of the
persecutors of the church, and millions such as they, who have
utterly been given over to the more bitterly painful punishment
of the conscience, which now without let or ceasing has its full
sway over them. “I will not this time,” quoth
conscience, “be drowned in beer, or blinded by rewards, or
deafened by song and good company, or hushed or stupified by a
thoughtless torpor; now I will be heard, and never shall the
truth, the stinging truth, cease dinning in your
ears.” The will creates a desire for the lost
paradise, the memory reproaches them with the ease wherewith it
might have been gained, and the reason shews the greatness of the
loss, and the certainty that nought awaits them but this
unspeakable gnawing for ever and ever; so by these three means,
conscience rends them more terribly than would all the devils in
hell.
Coming out of that wondrous defile, I heard much talking, and
for every word such wild horse-laughter as if some five hundred
devils would shed their horns with laughing. But after I
had drawn near to behold the very rare sight of a smile in hell,
what was it but two gentlemen, lately arrived, appealing for the
respect due to their rank, and the merriment was intended only to
give affront to them. A pot-bellied squire stood there with
an enormous roll of parchment, his genealogical chart, declaring
from how many of the Fifteen Tribes of Gwynedd he had sprung, how
many justices of the peace, and how many sheriffs there had been
of his house. “Ha ha,” cried one of the devils,
“we know the merit of most of your forebears, were you like
your father, or great-great-grandsire, we would not have deigned
to touch you. But thou, thou art but the heir of utter
darkness, vile whelp, thou art hardly worth a night’s
lodging; and yet thou shalt have some nook to await the
dawn.” And at the word the impetuous monster pierces
him with his pitchfork, and after whirling him thirty times
through the fiery welkin, hurled him into a hole out of
sight. “That is right enough for a half-blood
squire,” said the other, “but I hope ye will be
better mannered towards a knight who has served the king in
person; twelve earls and fifty knights can I recount from mine
own ancient line.” “If thine ancestors, and thy
long pedigree are all thy plea, thou canst go the same
gate,” quoth a devil, “for we remember scarce one old
estate of large extent which some oppressor, some murderer or
robber has not founded, leaving it to others as arrant as they,
to idle blockheads or to drunken swine. To maintain lavish
pomp, they had to grind their vassals and tenants, and if there
be a beautiful pony or a fine cow which my lady covets, she will
have them, and well it happens if the daughters, yea, even the
wives, escape the lust of their lord. And the small
free-holders around them must either vainly follow or give bail
for them, resulting in their own ruin, the loss of their
possessions, and the sale of their patrimony, or expect to be
hated and despised, and forced to every idle pursuit. Oh
how nobly they swear to gain the confidence of their minions or
of their tradesmen, and when decked out in their finery, how
contemptuously they look upon many an officer of importance in
church and state, as if such were mere worms compared with
them. Woe’s me, is not all blood of one color?
Was it not the same way that ye all entered the
world?” “For all that, craving your
pardon,” said the knight, “there are some births
purer than others.” “For the great doom all
your carcases are the same,” said the imp, “everyone
of you is defiled by the sin that took its origin in
Adam.” “But, sir,” continued he,
“if your blood is aught better than another, the less scum
will there be when shortly it will be bubbling through your body,
and if there be more, we must examine you, part by part, through
fire and through water.” Thereupon, a devil in the
shape of a fiery chariot receives him, and the other mockingly
lifts him thereinto, and away he goes with the speed of
lightning. Ere long the angel bade me look, and I saw the
poor knight most horribly sodden in an enormous boiling furnace
with Cain, Nimrod, Esau, Tarquin, Nero, Caligula, and others who
first established lineage, and emblazoned family arms.
After wending our way onward a little, my guide bade me peer
through a riven wall, and within I saw a group of coquetts busily
primming up, doing and undoing the deeds of folly they were
formerly wont to do on earth; some puckering their lips, some
plucking their eyebrows with irons, some anointing themselves,
some patching their faces with black spots to make the yellow
look whiter, and some endeavouring to crack the mirror; and after
all the pains to color and adorn, upon seeing their faces far
uglier than the devils’, they would tear away with tooth
and nail all the false coloring, the spots, the skin and the
flesh all at once, and would shriek most dismally.
“Accursed be my father,” said one, “it was he
who forced me when a girl to wed an old shrivelling, and it was
his kindling my desires with no power to satiate them, that
doomed me to this place.” “A thousand curses on
my parents,” cried another, “for sending me to a
monastery to be taught to live a life of chastity; they might as
well have sent me to a Roundhead to learn how to be generous, or
to a Quaker to be taught good manners, as to a Papist to be
taught honesty.” “Fell ruin seize my
mother,” shrieked a third, “whose covetous pride
refused me a husband at my need, and so drove me to obtain by
stealth what I might have honestly obtained.”
“Hell, a double hell to the raging bull of a nobleman who
first tempted me,” cried another, “had he not by fair
and foul broken through all bounds, I would not have become a
common chattel, nor would I have come to this infernal
place;” and then would they lacerate themselves again.
I made all haste to leave their loathsome kennel, but I had
not proceeded far before I observed, to my astonishment, another
prison full of women, still more abominable; some had become
frogs; some, dragons; some, serpents, and there they swam about,
hissing and foaming, and butting one another, in a fœtid,
stagnant pool that was much larger than Bala Lake.
“Pray, what can these be?” asked I.
“There are here,” said he, “four chief classes
of women, not to mention their minions—Firstly:
Panders, who maintained harlots to sell their virginity an
hundred times, and the worst of these around them.
Secondly: Mistresses of gossip, surrounded by thousands of
tale-bearing hags. Thirdly: Huntresses followed by a
pack of cowardly, skulking hounds, for no man ever dared approach
them, unless in fear of them. Fourthly: The scolds,
become a hundredfold more horrid than snakes, always grinding and
gnashing their venomous stings.” “I would have
deemed Lucifer too gracious a monarch to place a noble lady of my
rank with these vulgar furies,” complained one, who much
resembled the others, but was far more hideous than a winged
serpent. “Oh, that he would send hither seven hundred
of the basest demons of hell in exchange for thee, thou poisonous
hellworm,” cried another ugly viper. “Many
thanks to you,” quoth a gigantic devil, overhearing them,
“we regard our place and worth as something better; though
ye would cause everyone as much pain as we, yet we do not choose
to be deprived of our office in your favor.”
“And Lucifer hath another reason,” whispered the
Angel, “for keeping strict guard over these, and that is,
lest on breaking loose, they might send all hell into utter
confusion.”
Thence we still descended until I saw an immense cavern
wherein was such fearful clamor that I had never heard the like
before—swearing, cursing, blaspheming, snarling, groaning
and yelling. “Whom have we here?” I
asked. “This,” answered he, “is the Den
of Thieves; here are myriads of foresters, lawyers and stewards,
with old Judas in their midst.” And it grieved them
sorely to behold a pack of tailors and weavers above them in a
more comfortable chamber. Hardly had I turned round when a
demon, in the shape of a steed, bore in a physician, and an
apothecary, and hurled them into the midst of the pedlars and
horse cheats, because they had sold worthless drugs. And
they too began murmuring against being allotted to such low
society. “Stay, stay,” cried one of the devils,
“ye deserve a better place,” and he pitched them down
amongst conquerors and murderers. There were vast numbers
in here for playing false dice and cheating at cards, but before
I had time to observe them closely, I could hear by the door a
huge crowd in wild tumult and shouts—hai, hw,
ptrw-how-ho-o-o-p—as of cattle being driven
along. I turned round to see the cause of it, but could
perceive only the hornèd demons. I enquired of my
Guide if there were cuckolds with the devils.
“No,” said he, “they are in another cell; these
are drovers who wished to escape to the prison of the
Sabbath-breakers, and are sent here against their
will.” Thereupon I look and saw that they had on
their heads the horns of sheep and kine; and those that were
driving them on, cast them down beneath the feet of blood-stained
robbers. “Lie there,” said one, “however
much ye feared footpads on the London road erstwhile, ye
yourselves were the very worst class of highwaymen, who made your
living on the road and on robbery, yea and by the perishing of
many a poor family whom ye left in hunger, vainly hoping for the
sustenance of their possessions, while ye were in Ireland or in
the King’s Bench laughing at them, or on the road with your
wine and lemans.” On leaving the furnace-like cave, I
caught a glimpse of a haunt, which for loathsome, stinking
abomination, went beyond anything (with one sole exception) that
I had set my eyes upon in hell,—where an accursed herd of
drunken swine lay weltering in the foulest slime.
The next den was the abode of Gluttony, where Dives and his
companions, wallowing on their bellies, devoured dirt and fire
alternately, with never a drop to drink. A little below
this, was a very extensive roasting-kitchen, where some were
being roasted and boiled, others broiling and flaming in a fiery
chimney. “This is the place of the merciless and the
unfeeling,” said the Angel. Turning a little to the
left, where there was a cell lighter than any I had so far seen,
I asked what place it was: “The abode of the Infernal
Dragons,” said he, “which growl and rage, rush about
and rend one another every instant.” I drew near and
oh! what an indescribable sight they were! It was the
glowing fire of their eyes that gave all that light.
“These are the descendants of Adam,” said my Guide,
“scolds and raving, wrathful men; but yonder are some of
the ancient seed of the great Dragon, Lucifer;” but verily
I could not perceive any difference in loveliness between
them. In the next dungeon dwell the misers in awful
torment, being linked by their hearts to chests of burning coin,
the rust of which was consuming them without end, just as they
had never thought of an end to the piling of them, and now they
were tearing themselves to pieces with more than madness through
grief and remorse. Below this was a charnel vault where
some of the apothecaries had been ground down and stuffed into
earthenware pots with Album graecum, dung, and many a
stale ointment.
Ever downward we were journeying through the wilderness of
ruin, in the midst of untold and eternal tortures, from cell to
cell, from dungeon to dungeon, the last alway surpassing in
monstrous ghastliness, until finally we came within view of an
enormous entrance hall, most unsightly of all that I had
previously seen. It was very spacious and terribly steep,
running in the direction of a gloomy red corner, full of the most
inconceivable abominations and horrors: it was the royal
court. At the upper end of the king’s accursed hall,
amidst thousands of other dread sights, by the light my companion
shed, I could see in the darkness two feet of prodigious size,
and so enormous as to overcast the whole infernal
firmament. I inquired of my Guide what such immensities
might be. “Thou shalt have a fuller view of this
monster when returning,” said he, “but, come now, let
us to see the court.” As we were going down that
awful entrance hall, we heard behind us the noise as of very many
people advancing; on stepping aside to let them pass I noticed
four divers host, and upon enquiry I learnt that it was the four
princesses of the City of Destruction leading their subjects as
an offering to their sire. I distinguished the troop of the
Princess of Pride, not only because they insisted upon the
foremost position, but also because they stumbled now and then
from want of keeping their eyes upon the ground. She led
captive kings without number, princes, courtiers, noblemen and
braggarts, many Quakers, and women innumerable and of all
grades. Next to these came the Princess of Lucre with her
sly and crafty followers—a great many of the brood of Simon
Skinflint, money lenders, lawyers, userers, stewards, foresters,
harlots, and some of the clergy. Then came the gracious
Princess of Pleasure and her daughter Folly, leading her
subjects—players of dice, cards and back-gammon, conjurers,
bards, minstrels, storytellers, drunkards, bawds, balladmongers
and pedlars with their trinkets in countless number, to be at
length instruments of punishment to the damned fools.
When these three had taken their captives into the court to
receive judgment, Hypocrisy, last of all, brings in a more
numerous troop than any of the others, of every nation and age,
from town and country, patrician and plebeian, men and
women. In the rear of this double-faced legion we came
within sight of the court; passing through the midst of many
dragons and hornèd demons, and hell’s giants, the
dusky porters of the devil-hunted fire; I, the while, carefully
hiding within the veil, we entered that direful edifice:
wonderful, and of amazing roughness was every part of it; the
walls were cruel rocks of burning adamant; the floor was one
unendurable extent of sharp-cutting flint, the roof of fiery
steel, meeting in an arch of greenish and blood-red flames,
similar, except in its size and heat, to a tremendous circular
oven. Opposite the door, upon a flame-encompassed throne
sat the Evil One with the lost archangels around him, seated on
benches of terrible fire, according to the rank they formerly
bore in the region of light—the lovely whelps—it
would only be a waste of words to attempt to describe how
atrociously ugly they were, and the longer I gazed upon them,
sevenfold more frightful did they become. In the centre
above Lucifer’s head was a huge hand grasping an awful
bolt. The princesses, after paying their courtesy,
immediately returned to their duties on earth. No sooner
had they departed than at the King’s bidding, a gigantic
devil with cavernous jaws set up a roar, louder than the
discharge of a hundred cannon, and as loud, were it possible, as
the last trump, to proclaim the infernal Parliament, and behold,
without delay, the court and hall are filled by the rabble of
hell in every shape, each upon the form and image of that
particular sin he was wont to urge upon men. After
enjoining silence, Lucifer, looking steadfastly upon the
chieftains nearest him, began and spake these gracious
words:—
“Ye peers of this profoundest gulf, princes of the
hopeless gloom, if we have lost the place we erst possessed,
when, clothed with brightness, we dwelt in those celestial, happy
realms; yet, however great our fall, ’twas glorious, nought
less than all did we hazard, nor is all lost—for, behold
regions wide and deep extending to the utmost bounds of desolate
Perdition still ’neath our sway. ’Tis true we
reign while racked with raging torment, yet, for spirits of our
majesty, ’tis better to reign in hell than serve in heaven.
[85a] And what is more, we have well
nigh won another world, a greater than a fifth of earth has been
for long beneath my standard. And although our Omnipotent
Enemy sent his own Son to die for them, I, by my pleasing guile,
gain ten for every one He gains through his crucified Son.
Though we cannot aspire to do hurt to Him on high who hurls His
all-conquering thunder, yet revenge by whatsoever means is sweet.
[85b] Let us then bring ruin on the
rest of men who adore our Destroyer. Well do I recollect
the time when ye caused them, their armies and their cities, to
be consumed in horrible combustion, yea and caused nigh all the
dwellers on the earth to fall through the whelming waters into
this fire. But now, although your strength and innate
cruelty are no whit less, ye have been somewhat listless; were it
not for this, we would have long ago destroyed the godly few, and
brought the earth one with this our vast domain. But know
this, ye grim ministers of my wrath, if ye henceforth be not up
and doing, valiantly and with all haste, seeing the brevity of
our alloted time, I swear by Hell and by Perdition, and by the
vast, eternal gloom, that upon you, yourselves, my ire first
shall fall, with pain the like of which the oldest amongst you
hath never proved.” Whereupon he frowned until the
court became sevenfold darker than before.
Next him, Moloch one of the infernal potentates, stood up, and
after making due obeisance to his king, spake
thus:—“Oh Emperor of the Sky, great ruler of the
darkness, none ever doubted my desire to practice utmost bale and
cruelty, for that has always been my pleasure; no sound was more
delightful to mine years than the shrieks of children perishing
in the flames outside Jerusalem, where in former days they were
sacrificed to me. And also after our crucified foe had
returned to his celestial home, I, during the reigns of ten
emperors, continued as long as it availed me, slaying and burning
his followers in my attempt to sweep the Christians off the face
of the earth. And afterwards in Paris, in England, and in
several other places, did I cause many a massacre of them; but
what have we gained? The tree whose branches are lopped off
grows but the quicker; we snarl without the power of
biting.”
“Pshaw!” exclaimed Lucifer, “shame! cowardly
hosts that ye are! Never more will I place my trust in
you. This work I myself will perform, this enterprise none
shall partake with me. [87] In mine own
imperial majesty will I descend upon the earth, and alone will I
devour all therein contained; henceforth no man shall there be
found to worship the Most High.” Thereon he gave one
terrific flying leap to start—a blaze of living fire, but
the hand overhead whirls the terrible dart so that he trembles
notwithstanding his rage, and ere he had gone far, an invisible
hand drags the brute back by the chain for all his struggles; his
rage becomes sevenfold more vehement, his eyes more fierce than
dragons, thick black clouds of smoke issue from his nostrils,
livid flames from his mouth and bowels, while he gnaws his chain
in his grief, and mutters fearful blasphemy and awful oaths.
At last, finding how futile was his attempt to sunder his
bonds and how unavailing to contend against the Almighty, he
returned to his throne and resumed his speech, in words somewhat
more calm, but twice as malignant: “Though none but the
Omnipotent Thunderer could overcome my power and my guile, to Him
I am unwillingly constrained to submit; but I can pour forth the
vials of my wrath here below, nearer at hand, and let loose my
ire upon those who are already under my banner, and within the
length of my chain. Arise, ye too, ministers of
destruction, lords of the unquenchable fires, and as my anger and
my venom overflow, and my malice rush forth, do ye assiduously
scatter all broadcast among the damned, and chiefly among the
Christians; urge on the engines of torture to their uttermost;
devise and invent; increase the heat of the fire and the
ebullition, until the hissing flood of the cauldrons overwhelms
them; and when their unutterable woes are extremest, then sneer
at them and mockingly reproach them, and when ye have exhausted
all your store of scorn and gall, hie to me and ye shall be
replenished.”
A great stillness had brooded over hell for some time, while
the pains grew far more unbearable by being given no vent.
But now the silence which Lucifer had enjoined was broken, when
the fierce butchers, like bears maddened by hunger, fell upon
their captives; then there arose such doleful cries, such dismal
howling, from every quarter, louder than the roar of rushing
torrents, than the rumble of an earthquake, till hell itself
became ten times more horrible. I would have died, had not
my friend saved me. “Quaff deep this time,”
said he, “to give thee strength to behold things yet more
dire.” Hardly were the words from his lips, when lo!
heavenly Justice, who sits above the abyss, guardian of the gates
of Hell, advanced scourging three men with rods of fiery
scorpions. “Ha ha,” cried Lucifer, “here
are three reverend gentlemen whom Justice thought worthy himself
to conduct to my kingdom.” “Woe’s
me,” said one of the three, “who ever wanted him to
take the trouble?” “That matters not,”
answered he, with a look that made the fiends wax pale, and
tremble so that they knocked one against the other, “it was
the will of the Infinite Creator that I myself should lead to
their home such accursed murderers.”
“Sirrah,”—addressing one of the
demons,—“open me the fold of the assassins, where
Cain, Nero, Bradshaw, Bonner, Ignatius and innumerable others
like them dwell.” “Alack, alack! we have never
slain any man,” cried one. “No thanks to you
that you did not, for time only was wanting,” said
Justice. When the den was opened, there came out such a
hideous blast of blood-red flames, and such a shriek as if a
thousand dragons were uttering their death-wail. As Justice
was passing by on his return, in an instant he caused such a
tempest of fiery whirlwinds to fall upon the Evil One and his
princes that Lucifer was swept away, and with him Beelzebub,
Satan, Moloch, Abadon, Asmodai, Dagon, Apolyon, Belphegor,
Mephistopheles, and all their compeers, and they were hurled
headlong into a whirlpool which opened and closed in the centre
of the court and which, both in aspect and in the execrable
stench that arose from it, was a hundredfold more foul and horrid
than anything I had ever seen. Before I could ask aught,
quoth the Angel: “This is the gulf that reaches to another
great world.” “What, pray, is that world
called?” I enquired. “’Tis called the
bottomless pit or the Nethermost Hell, the home of the devils,
whither they now have gone. And those vast, dreary wilds,
parts of which thou hast traversed, are called the Region of
Despair, ordained for the condemned until the Judgment Day; then
it will become one with the utmost, bottomless Hell; then will
one of us come and seal up the devils and the damned together,
never more to open upon them, never to all eternity. In the
meantime they have leave to come to this colder country to
torment lost souls. Yea, often are they suffered to wander
through the air, and about the earth, to tempt men into the
pernicious ways that lead to this horrible prison whence no man
returns.”
While listening to this account, and wondering that the
entrance of Perdition should differ so from that of the Upper
Hell, I heard the tremendous clash of arms, and the roar of
artillery, from one quarter, and what seemed like loud-rumbling
thunder answering from another quarter, while the deadly rocks
resounded. “This is the turmoil of war!” I
cried, “if there be war in hell.” “There
is,” said he, “there cannot be but continuous warfare
here.” When we were on the point of going out to know
of the affair, I beheld the jaws of the Pit open and belch forth
thousands of hideous, greenish candles—for such had Lucifer
and his chiefs become after surviving the tempest. But when
he heard the din of war he turned more livid than Death, and
began to call out, and levy armies of his proven veterans to
suppress the tumult. While thus occupied he came across a
little imp, who had escaped between the feet of the
warriors. “What is the matter?” demanded the
King. “Such a matter as will endanger your crown, an
you look not to it.” Close upon this one’s
heels another devilish courier in a harsh voice cries: “You
that plan the disquietude of others, look now to your own peace;
yonder are the Turks, the Papists and the murderous Roundheads in
three armies, filling the whole plain of Darkness, committing
every outrage and turning everything topsy-turvey.”
“How came they out?” demanded the Evil One, frowning
more terribly than Demigorgon. “The Papists,”
said the messenger, “somehow or other broke out of their
purgatory, and then, to pay off old scores, went to unhinge the
portals of Mahomet’s paradise, and let loose the Turks from
their prison, and afterwards in the confusion, through some ill
chance, Cromwell’s crew escaped from their
cells.” Then Lucifer turned and peered beneath his
throne, where every damned king lay, and commanded that Cromwell
himself should be kept secure in his kennel, and that all the
sultans should be guarded. Accordingly, Lucifer and his
host hurried across the sombre wilds of darkness, each
one’s own person furnishing light and heat; guided by the
tumultuous clangor he marched fearlessly upon them. Silence
was proclaimed in the King’s name, and Lucifer demanded the
cause of such uproar in his realm. “May it please
your infernal majesty,” said Mahomet, “a quarrel
arose between myself and Pope Leo as to which had done you the
better service—my Koran or the Romish religion; and when
this was going on a pack of Roundheads, who had broken out of
their prison during the disorder, joined in and clamoured that
their Solemn League and Covenant deserved more respect at your
hands than either; so, from striving to striking from words to
blows. But now, since your majesty hath returned from hell,
I lay the matter for your decision.” “Stay,
we’ve not done with you yet,” cried Pope Julius, and
madly they engage once more, tooth and nail, until the strokes
clashed like earthquakes; the three armies of the damned tore
each other piecemeal, and like snakes became whole again, and
spread far and wide over the jagged, burning crags, until Lucifer
bade his veterans, the giants of Hell, separate them, which
indeed was no easy task.
When the conflict ceased, Pope Clement spake—“Thou
Emperor of Horrors, no throne has ever performed more faithful
and universal service to the infernal crown than have the bishops
of Rome, throughout a large portion of the world, for eleven
centuries, and I hope you will allow none to vie with them for
your favor.” “Well,” said a Scotch-man of
Cromwell’s gang, “however great has been the service
of the Koran for these eight hundred years, and of popish
superstitions for a longer period, yet the Covenant has done far
more since its appearance, and everyone begins to doubt the
others and be weary of them, but we are still increasing, the
wide world over, and have much power in the island of your foes,
that is, in Britain and in London, the happiest city under the
sun.” “Ha ha,” exclaimed Lucifer,
“if I hear rightly ye too are about to suffer disgrace
there. But whatever ye may have done in other kingdoms, I
will have none of your rioting in mine. Wherefore make your
peace forthwith under the penalty of more woes, bodily and
spiritual.” And at the word I could see many of the
fiends and all the damned, with their tails between their hoofs,
steal away to their holes in fear of a change for the worse.
Then after ordering all to be locked up in their lairs, and
punishing and dismissing the officers whose carelessness had
allowed them to break loose, Lucifer and his counsellors returned
to the court, and sat once more upon the fiery thrones, according
to their rank; and when silence had been obtained, and the court
cleared, a burly, lob-shouldered devil threw down at the bar a
fresh load of prisoners. “Is this the way to
Paradise?” asked one (for they had no idea where they
were). “Or if this be Purgatory,” said another,
“I have a dispensation under the Pope’s own signet to
pass straight on to Paradise, without a moment’s delay
anywhere; wherefore show us the way, or by the Pope’s toe,
we will have him punish you.” “Ha ha,”
laughed a thousand demons, and Lucifer himself opened his tusked
jaws some half a yard in scornful laughter. At which the
new comers were sore amazed. “Look ye,” said
one, “if we have missed our way in the dark, we will pay
for guidance.” “Ha ha,” cried Lucifer,
“ye shall not hence till ye have paid the uttermost
farthing.” But on searching them it was found that
they had one and all left their trouser behind. “Ye
went past Paradise on the left above those mountains
there,” said the Evil One, “and although it is easy
to descend hither, to return is next to impossible, so dark and
intricate is the country, so many steep ascents of flaming iron
are there on the way, and huge imminent rocks, overhanging
glaciers of insurmountable ice, and here and there, a headlong
cataract, all too difficult to clamber over, if ye have not nails
as long as a devil’s. Ho there! convey these
blockheads to our paradise to their companions.” Just
then I heard voices drawing nigh, swearing and cursing
fearfully. “Fiends’ blood! a myriad devils
seize me if ever I go!” and immediately the noisy crew were
cast down before the court. “There,” exclaimed
the steed that bore them, “there is fuel with the best in
hell.” “What are they?” asked
Lucifer. “Past masters in the gentle art of swearing
and cursing,” said he, “who knew the language of hell
as well as we do.” “A lie to your face,
i’ the devil’s name!” cried one.
“Sirrah! wilt take my name in vain?” said the Evil
One. “Ho, seize them and hook them by their tongues,
to that burning precipice, and be at hand to serve them; if on
one devil they call, or on a thousand, they shall have their
fill.”
When these had departed, a gigantic fiend calls loudly for
clearing the bar, and throws down thereat a man who was a load in
himself. “What hast thou there?” demanded
Lucifer. “An innkeeper,” answered he.
“What?” cried the King, “only one innkeeper,
when they used to come by the thousands. Hast thou, sirrah,
not been out for ten years, and dost bring hither but one, and
such an one as would serve us in the world better than thee, foul
lazy hound!” “You are too just to condemn me
before hearing me,” pleaded he, “he was the only one
laid to my charge, and now I am rid of him. But I
despatched you from his house many an idler who drank his
family’s maintenance, and now and then a dicer, and card
player, a fine swearer, an innocent glutton, a negligent tapster
and a maid, harsh in the kitchen, but never a kinder abed or in
the cellar.” “Although this fellow deserves to
be with the flatterers beneath,” said the Evil One,
“natheless take him to his comrades in the cell of the
liquid-poisoners, among the apothecaries and drugsters who have
concocted drinks to murder their customers; boil him well for
that he did not brew better beer.” “By your
leave,” began the innkeeper tremblingly, “I deserve
no such treatment, the trade must be carried on.”
“Couldst thou not have lived,” quoth the Evil One,
“without allowing rioting and gambling, wantonness and
drunkenness, oaths and quarrels, slanders and lies? and wouldst
thou, old hell-hound, now live better than we? Prithee,
tell what evil have we here which thou hadst not at thine home,
save the punishment alone? Indeed, to speak the plain truth
here, the infernal heat and cold are nothing new to thee.
Hast thou not seen sparks of our fire upon the tongues of the
cursers and the scolds, whilst dragging their husbands
home? Was there not a deal of the undying flame on the
drunkard’s lips or in the eyes of the angry? And
couldst thou not perceive a trace of hellish cold in the
rake’s generosity, and especially in thine own kindness
towards him as long as he had anything in his possession; in the
mocker’s jest; in the praise of the envious and of the
defamer, in the promises of the lecherous, or in the limbs of thy
boon companions, benumbed beneath thy tables? Is hell
strange to thee whose very home is a hell? Aroint thee,
flamhound, to thy penance!”
After that ten devils, panting heavily, drop their burdens
upon the fiery floor. “What have ye?” asked
Lucifer. “We have what a day or two ago were called
kings,” answered one of the fiendish steeds. (I
sought carefully to see whether Lewis of France were among
them.) “Throw them here,” bade the King; and at
that they were thrown amongst the other crowned heads that lay
beneath Lucifer’s feet; and following the monarchs came
their courtiers and their flatterers to receive sentence.
Before I had time to ask any question, I heard the blast of
brazen trumpets and shouts. “Make way, make
way,” and at once there came in view a herd of assize-men
and devils bearing the train of six justices, and millions of
their race—barristers, [95a] attorneys, clerks,
recorders, bailiffs, catchpolls, and the litigous busybody.
I wondered that none of them was examined; but in truth, they
knew the matter had gone too far against them, so none of the
learned counsels opened their lips, but the busybody threatened
that he would bring an action for false imprisonment against
Lucifer. “Thou shalt have good cause of complaint
now,” said the Evil One, “and never see a court at
all.” Then he donned his red cap, and with
unbearable, haughty mien, said: “Go, take the justices to
the hall of Pontius Pilate, to Master Bradshaw, who condemned
King Charles; pack the barristers with the assassins of Sir
Edmundbury Godfrey, [95b] and their other
false co-partners who simulate mutual contention, merely in order
to slay whomsoever might interpose. Go, greet that prudent
lawyer, who, when dying offered a thousand pounds for a good
conscience, and ask whether he is now willing to give more.
Roast the lawyers by the fire of their own parchments and papers
till their learned bowels burst forth; let the litigous
busybodies hang above them with their nostrils deepest down the
roasting chimneys, in order to inhale the noxious vapors arising
thence, to see if they will ever get their fill of law.
Throw the recorders amongst the retailers who prevent or
forestall the sale of corn, who mix it and sell the mixture at
double the price of the pure corn: similarly, they demand for
wrong double the fees formerly given for right. As to the
catchpolls, let them free to hunt about and lie in the ravines
and bushes of the earth, to capture those that are debtors to the
infernal crown; for what devil of you could do the work better
than they?”
Shortly there appear twenty demons, like Scotch-men, with
packs across their shoulders, which they cast down before the
throne of despair, and which turned out to be gipsies.
“Ho there!” cried Lucifer, “how was it that ye
who knew the fortune of others so well, did not know that your
own fortune was leading you hither?” No answer was
given, for they were amazed at seeing here beings uglier than
themselves. “Throw the tan-faced loons to the
witches,” bade the King, “there are no cats or
rush-lights here for them, but divide a frog between them every
ten thousand years, if they will be quiet and not deafen us with
their barbarous chatter.”
After them came, methought, thirty labourers. Everybody
wondered to see so many of that honest calling, so seldom did any
of them appear; but they did not all come from the same parts nor
for like faults—some for raising prices, many for
withholding their tithes, and defrauding the parson of his dues,
others for leaving their work to follow after the gentry, and who
in trying to stride along with their masters, strained
themselves, some for doing work on the Sabbath, some for thinking
of their sheep and kine in church, instead of giving attention to
the reading of Holy Writ, and others for wrongful bargains.
When Lucifer began to question them, lo! they were all as pure as
gold, and not one of them found anything amiss in himself so as
to deserve such a dwelling place. One can scarcely believe
what neat excuses each one had to hide his sin, although they
were already in hell for it, offering them merely out of evil
disposition to thwart Lucifer and to accuse the righteous Judge,
who had condemned them, of injustice. But it was still more
astonishing to see how cleverly the Evil One exposed their foul
sins, and how he answered with a home-thrust their false
excuses. When these were about to receive their infernal
doom, forty scholars were borne forward by porpoise-shaped
fiends, uglier, if possible, than Lucifer himself. And when
they heard the labourers pleading, they too waxed bold to give
excuses, but what ready answers the old Serpent had for them with
all their knavery and learning! As it happened that I heard
similar pleas in another court of justice I will hereafter
recount them together, and now proceed with what I saw in the
meantime.
Lucifer had barely pronounced their sentence—that they
should be driven to the great glacier in the land of eternal ice,
a doom that set their teeth a-gnashing, even before they saw
their prison, when suddenly, hell again most marvellously
resounded with the crash of terrible bolts, with loud-rolling
thunder, and with every noise of war. Lucifer loured and
grew pale; in a moment, there flew in a wry-footed imp, panting
and trembling. “What is the matter?” cried
Lucifer. “A matter fraught with the greatest peril
for you since hell is hell,” said the dwarf, “all the
ends of the kingdom of darkness have risen up against you and
against each other, especially those between whom there was
longstanding enmity, who are already locked together fang to
fang, so that it is impossible to pull them apart. Soldiers
have attacked the doctors for taking away their trade of
slaughter; a myriad userers have fallen upon the lawyers, for
claiming a share in the business of robbery; the busybodies and
the swindlers are tearing the gentlemen, limb-meal, for
unnecessary swearing and cursing, whereby they gained their
living. Harlots and their minions, and a million other old
friends and former comrades have fallen out with one another
irreconcilably. But worst of all is the fray raging between
the misers and their own offspring, for wasting the goods and
money which, the old pinchfists aver, ‘cost us much pain on
earth, and here endless anguish.’ Their sons, on the
other hand, cursing and rending them outrageously, call for
eternal ruin upon their heads for leaving overmuch wealth to
madden them with pride and riotous living, when a little, under
the blessing of heaven, would have rendered them happy in both
worlds.” “Enough, enough,” cried Lucifer,
“there is more need of arms than words. Return,
sirrah, and play the spy in every watch to find the where and why
of this great negligence, for there’s some treachery in the
air we wot not of as yet.” The imp departed at his
bidding, and in the meantime Lucifer and his compeers arose in
terror and exceeding fear, and ordered the levying of the bravest
armies of the black angels; and having disposed them, he himself
started foremost to quell the rebellion, his chieftains and their
hosts going other ways. The royal army, like shafts of
lightning across the hideous gloom, advanced (and we in their
rear); ere long the uproar falls upon their ears; a fiendish
bellower cries, “Silence, in the King’s name!”
to no purpose, it would be an easier task to hale apart old
beavers than one of these. But when Lucifer’s
veterans dashed into their midst, the growls, and blows, and
battering lessened. “Silence in Lucifer’s
name!” roared the devil a second time. “What is
this,” demanded the King, “and who are
these?” “Nothing, sire, but that in the general
confusion, the drovers came across the cuckolds, and set
a-butting to prove whose horns were the harder; it might have
turned out seriously, had not your horned giants joined in the
affray.” “Well,” said Lucifer,
“since ye are all so ready with your arms, come with me to
trounce the other rebels.” But when the rumour
reached these that Lucifer was approaching with three horned
armies, everyone made for his lair.
So he marched on across the desolate plains unresisted, and
seeking in vain the cause of the revolt. After a while,
however, one of the King’s spies returns, quite out of
breath: “Most noble, Lucifer! Moloch, your prince,
hath subdued part of the North, and hath cut thousands to pieces
upon the glaciers, but there are three or four dangerous evils
still threatening you.” “Whom meanest
thou?” asked Lucifer. “The Slanderer, the
Busybody, and the Lawmonger, have broken out of their prisons and
got free.” “No wonder then,” said the
Evil One, “if further troubles arise.” Then
there comes another spy from the South, informing that matters
would soon reach a dire pass in that quarter if the three who had
already thrown the West into utter confusion be not taken,
namely, the Huntress, the Rogue and the Swaggerer.
“Since the day I tempted Adam from his garden,” said
Satan, who stood next but one to Lucifer, “I have never
seen so many evils of his race at liberty together. The
Huntress, the Swaggerer, the Rogue, on the one hand, and on the
other, the Slanderer, the Lawmonger and the Busybody—a
mixture would make devils reach.” “Little
wonder, verily,” said Lucifer, “that they were so
much hated by all on earth, seeing that they are capable of
causing such trouble to us here.” Not long after, the
Huntress comes to meet the King upon the way. “Ho!
grandam o’ the breeches,” cries a shrill-voiced
demon, “good night to you.” “Thy grandam
on which side, prithee?” said she, displeased because he
did not “madam” her. “You are a fine
king, Lucifer, to keep such impudent rascals about you; a
thousand pities that such a vast realm should be under so
impotent a ruler; would that I might be made its
regent.” Then comes the Swaggerer, nodding in the
dark—“Your humble servant, sir,” saith he to
one, over his shoulder; “Are you quite well?” to
another; “Can I be of any service to you?” addressing
a third, with a leering smirk, and to the Huntress: “Your
beauty quite fascinates me, madam.” “Oh
oh,” cried she, “away with the hell-hound;” and
all join in the shout: “Away with this new tormentor, hell
on hell that he is!” “Let both be bound
together hand and foot,” commanded Lucifer. Soon
after the Lawmonger comes on the scene between two devils.
“Ho, ho, thou angel of peace,” exclaimed Lucifer,
“hast thou come? Keep him safe, guards, at your
peril!” Before we had gone far, the Rogue and the
Slanderer appeared, chained between forty devils, and whispering
to one another. “Most noble Lucifer,” began the
Rogue, “I am very sorry there is so much disturbance in
your kingdom; but if I may be heard, I will teach you a better
method. Under the pretence of holding a Parliament, you can
cite all the damned into the burning Evildom, and then bid the
devils hurl them headlong to bottomless perdition, and lock them
up in its vortex, to trouble you no more.” “But
the Common Meddler is still missing,” said Lucifer,
frowning most darkly at the Rogue. When we reached once
more the entrance of the infernal court, who should come straight
to meet the King but the Busybody. “Ah, your majesty,
I have a word with you.” “And I have one or two
with you, peradventure,” said the Evil One. “I
have been over the half of Hell,” said he, “to see
how your affairs went. You have many officers in the East
who are remiss, and take their ease instead of attending to the
torturing of their prisoners and to their safe keeping; it was
this that gave rise to the great rebellion. And moreover
many of your fiends, and of the lost whom you sent to the world
to tempt men, have not returned, although their time is up, and
others have come, but hide rather than give an account of their
doings.”
Then commanded Lucifer his herald to summon a second
Parliament, and in the twinkling of an eye all the potentates and
their officers were again in attendance at their infernal
Eisteddfod. The first thing done was to change the
officers, and to order a place to be made round the mouth of the
pit for the Swaggerer and the Huntress, linked face to face, and
for the other rebels, bound topsy-turvy together; and a law was
published that whosoever of the demons or of the damned
thenceforth transgressed his duty should be thrown into their
midst till doomsday. At these words all the fiends and even
Lucifer himself trembled and were sore perturbed. Then next
came the trial of the devils and the lost who had been sent to
earth to find “associates and co-partners of their
loss;” the devils gave a clear account, but the statement
of the damned was so hazy and uncertain, that they were driven to
the ever-burning school, and there scourged with fiery, knotted
serpents to teach them their task the better.
“Here’s a wench that’s pretty enough when
dressed up,” said an imp, “she was sent up into the
world to gain you new subjects; and whom should she first tempt
but a weary ploughman, homeward wending his way, late from his
toils, who, instead of succumbing to her wiles, went on his knees
praying to be saved from the devil and his angels.”
“Ho there!” cried Lucifer, “throw her to that
worthless losel who long ago loved Einion ab Gwalchmai of
Mona.” [102] “Stay, stay,”
pleaded the fair one, “this is but my first offence; there
is yet scarcely a year since the day when all was over with me,
when I was condemned to your cursed state, Oh king of
woes!” “No, there is not yet three
weeks,” said the demon that had brought her there.
“How therefore,” said she, “would you have me
be as skilled as those lost beings who have been here three or
four centuries hunting their prey? If you desire better
service at my hands, let me go free into the world once more to
roam about uncensured; and if I bring you not twenty adulterers
for every year I am out, mete me what punishment you
list.” Nevertheless the verdict went against her, and
she was doomed to live a hundred long years under chastisement,
that she might be more careful a second time. Presently,
another devil entered, pushing to the front a man.
“Here is a fine messenger,” he said, “who
wandering the other night in his old neighbourhood above, saw a
thief stealing a stallion, but could not help him even to catch
the foal without showing himself; and the thief, when he saw him,
abandoned that career for ever.” “Begging the
court’s pardon,” said the man, “if the
thief’s child was endowed with power from above to see me,
could I help that? Moreover, this is only a single case;
’t is not a hundred years since that day which put an end
to all my hopes for ever, and how many of my own family and of my
neighbours have I enticed here after me in that time?
Perdition hold me, if I am not as dutiful to my trade as the best
of you, but the wisest is sometimes at fault.” Then
said Lucifer: “Throw him into the school of the fairies,
who are still under castigation for their mischievous tricks in
days gone by, when they were wont to strangle and threaten their
neighbours, and so awaken them from their torpor; for their fear
probably had more influence upon them than forty
sermons.”
Then came four constables, an accuser, and fifteen of the
damned, dragging forward two devils. “Lest you lay
the blame of every wrongful service upon the children of
Adam,” said the accuser, “here are two of your old
angels who misspent their time above as much as the two who were
last before the court. Here is a rogue quite as worthless
as that one at Shrewsbury the other day, when the Interlude of
Doctor Faustus was being played, amidst all manner of most
wanton and lascivious revelries, and where many things were going
on conducive to the welfare of your realm; when they were
busiest, the devil himself appeared to play his part, and so
drove all away from pleasure to prayers. Even so this one,
in his wanderings over the world: he heard some people talk of
walking round the church [104] to see their
sweethearts, and what should the fool do but show himself to the
simpletons in his own natural form, and though their fright was
great they recovered their senses, and made a vow to leave that
vanity for ever; whereas had he only assumed the form of some
vile jades, they would have held themselves bound to accept
those; and so the foul fiend might have been master of the
household with both parties, since he himself had mated
them. And here is another, who went, last Twelfth Night, to
visit two Welsh lasses who were turning their shifts, and instead
of enticing them to wantonness in the form of a fair youth, to
one he took a bier, to make her thoughts more serious; to the
other, he went with the tumult of war in a hellish whirlwind, to
make her madder than before; and this was quite needless.
Nor was this all; for after he had entered the maiden, and had
thrown her about, and sorely tormented her, some of our learned
enemies were sent for to pray for her and to cast him out, and
instead of tempting her to despair and endeavouring to win over
the preachers, he began to preach to them, and to disclose the
mysteries of your kingdom, thus aiding their salvation instead of
hindering it.” At the word “salvation” I
saw some leaping up, a living fire of rage. “Every
tale is fair till the other side be told,” quoth the devil,
“I hope Lucifer will not allow one of the earth-born race
of Adam to contend with me, who am an angel of far superior kind
and stock.” “His punishment is certain,”
said Lucifer, “but do thou, sirrah, give clear and ready
answer to these charges; or by hopeless Hell I
will—.” “I have led hither,” said
he, “many a soul since Satan was in the Garden of Eden, and
I ought to understand my business, better than this upstart
accuser.” “Blood of infernal firebrands,”
cried Lucifer, “did I not bid thee answer clearly and
readily?” “By your leave,” said the
demon, “I have preached a hundred times, and have denounced
many of the various ways that lead to your confines, and yet at
the same breath, have quietly brought them hither safe and sound
by some other delusive path, just as I did while preaching
recently in the German States, in one of the Faro Isles, and in
several other places. In this manner, through my preaching
have many Papist beliefs, and old traditions come first into the
world, and all in the guise of goodness. For who ever would
swallow a baitless hook? Who ever gained credence for a
tale which had not some truth mingled with the false, or some
little good overshadowing the bad? So, if whilst preaching
I can instil one counsel of mine own among a hundred that are
good and true, by means of that one, through heedlessness or
superstition, will more weal betide your kingdom than woe through
all the others ever.” “Well,” said
Lucifer, “since thou canst do so much good in the pulpit, I
bid thee dwell seven years in the mouth of a barndoor preacher
who always utter what first comes to his mind; there thou wilt
have an opportunity of putting in a word now and then to thine
own purpose.”
There were many more devils and damned darting to and fro like
lightning about the awful throne, to count and to receive
offices. But suddenly without any warning there came a
command for all the messengers and prisoners to depart from the
court, each one to his den, leaving the King and his chief
counsellors alone together. “Is it not better for us
also to depart, lest they find us?” I asked my
friend. “Thou needest have no fear,” answered
the angel, “no unclean spirit can ever pierce this
veil.” Wherefore we remained there invisible, to see
the issue.
Then Lucifer began graciously to address his peers
thus:—“Ye mightiest spirits of evil, ye archfiends of
hellish guile, the utmost of your malicious wiles am I now
constrained to demand. All here know that Britain and its
adjacent isles is the realm most dangerous to my state, and
fullest of mine enemies; and what is a hundredfold worse, there
reigns now a queen most dangerous of all, who has never once
inclined hither, nor along the old way of Rome on the one hand
nor yet along the way of Geneva on the other: to think what great
good the Pope has for a long time done us there and Oliver even
to this day! What therefore shall we do? I fear me we
shall entirely lose our ancient possession of that mart unless we
instantly set-to to pave a new way for them to travel over, for
they know too well all the old roads that lead hitherwards.
Since this invincible hand shortens my chain, and prevents me
from going myself to the earth, your advice I pray. Whom
shall I appoint my viceroy to oppose yon hateful queen, Our
Enemy’s vicegerent?”
“Oh! thou great Emperor of Darkness,” said
Cerberus, [106] the demon of tobacco,
“’tis I that supply the third of that country’s
maintenance, I shall go, and I will despatch you a hundred
thousand of your foemen’s souls through a pipe
stem.” “In sooth,” said Lucifer,
“thou hast done me some good service, what with causing the
slaughter of the owners in India and poisoning those that indulge
in it, through the saliva, sending many to wander with it idly
from house to house, others to steal in order to obtain it, and
millions to grow that fond of it that they cannot spend a single
day without it, and be in their right mind. For all this,
go and do thy best, but thou art nought to our present
purpose.”
Whereupon Cerberus sat down; then rose Mammon, the devil of
money, and with surly skulking mien began: “’T was I
who pointed out the first mine whence money was to be obtained,
and ever since I am praised and worshipped more than God, and men
lay their pain and peril, all their mind, their affection and
their trust upon me, yea, there is no man content, but all crave
more of my favor; the more they obtain, the further still are
they from rest, until at last, while seeking ease, they come to
this region of everlasting woes. How many a crafty old
miser have I enticed hither over paths that were harder to
traverse than those that lead to the realm of bliss?
Whenever a fair was held, a market, assize or election, or any
other concourse, who had more subjects than I or greater power
and authority? Cursing, swearing, fighting, litigation,
falsehood and deceit, beating, clawing, murdering and robbing one
another, Sabbath-breaking, perjury, cruelty, and what black mark
besides, which stamps men as of Lucifer’s fold, that I have
not had a hand in placing? For which reason have I been
called ‘the root of all evil.’ Wherefore, an it
please your majesty, I will go.”
He ceased. Then Apolyon uprose and spoke: “I know
of nought more certain to lead them hither than what brought you
here, [107] and that is Pride; once it plants its
straight stake in them and puffs them up, there is no need to
fear that they will condescend to bear the cross or go through
the narrow gate. I will go with your daughter Pride, and
before they can realise where they are, I will drive the Welsh
hither headlong while admiring the pomp of the English, and the
English while imitating the vivacity of the French.”
After him arose Asmodai, the devil of lust: “’T is
not unknown to you, mightiest King of the deep, nor to you,
princes of the land of despair, how many of the gulfs of hell
have I filled through voluptuousness and lewdness. What of
the time I kindled such a flame of lust over all the world that
the deluge had needs be sent to clear the earth of men, and to
sweep them all into our unquenchable fire? What of Sodoma
and Gomorrah, fine and fair cities, which I so consumed with
licentiousness that a hell-shower blazed in their infernal lusts
and beat them down here alive, to burn for ages on ages.
And what of the great hosts of the Assyrians, who were all slain
in one night on my account? I disappointed Sarah of seven
husbands’ [108] and Solomon and many a thousand other
kings did I bring to shame through women. Wherefore let me
and this sweet sin go, and I will kindle the hellish spark so
generally that it will at length become one with this
inextinguishable flame, for scarce one will ever return from
following me to walk in the paths of life.” At that
he sat down.
Then Belphegor, chief of sloth and idleness, stood up and
spake thus: “I am the great prince of listlessness and
sloth, who have great influence upon millions of all sorts and
conditions of men; I am that stagnant pond where the spawn of
every evil is bred, where the dregs of every corruption and
baleful slime grows rank. What good wouldst thou be,
Asmodai, or ye, chief damned evils, were I not? I, who keep
the windows open and unguarded that ye may enter into the man
when ye will, through his eyes, his ears and his mouth. I
will go and roll them all over the precipice unto you in their
sleep.”
Then Satan, the devil of delusion, who was on Lucifer’s
left hand, arose, and turning his grim visage to the king, began:
“It is unnecessary for me to recount my deeds to thee, Oh
lost Archangel, or to you, swarthy princes of Destruction: for
’twas I who dealt the first blow to man, and mighty was
that blow, to be the cause of death from the beginning of the
world to its end. Is it likely that I, who erst ravaged all
the earth, could not now give advice that would serve one little
isle? Could not I, who deceived Eve in Paradise, overcome
Anne in Britain? If inborn craft and continuous experience
for five thousand years profit aught, my advice is that you adorn
your daughter Hypocrisy to deceive Britain and its queen: you
have no other as serviceable as she; her sway extends more widely
than that of all the rest of your daughters, and her subjects are
more numerous. Was it not through her that I beguiled the
first woman? And ever since she has remained on earth and
waxed very great therein, so that by now the world is hardly
anything but one mass of hypocrisy. And were it not for the
craftiness of Hypocrisy how could anyone of us do business in any
part of the world? For what man would ever have aught to do
with sin, did he once behold it in its true color and under its
own proper name? He would sooner clasp a devil in his own
infernal shape and garb. If it were not that Hypocrisy can
disguise the name and nature of every evil under the semblance of
some good, and give a bad name to every goodness, no man at all
would put forth his hand to do evil or would lust after it.
Walk through the entire city of Destruction and ye will perceive
her greatness in every quarter. Go to the street of Pride
and ask for an arrogant man or for a penny-worth of affectation
mixed through pride: ‘Woe is me,’ exclaims Hypocrisy,
‘there is no such thing here,’ no, nor for a devil,
anything else in the whole street save proud demeanour. Or
walk into the street of Lucre and enquire for the miser’s
house: pshaw, there is no one of the kind therein; or for the
dwelling of the murderer among the doctors, or for the abode of
highwaymen amongst the drovers; thou wouldst sooner be thrown to
prison for asking than that one should confess to his own
name. Yea, Hypocrisy crawls in between a man and his own
heart, and so skilfully does she hide every wrong under the name
and guise of some virtue that she has caused well nigh all to
lose cognisance of their own selves. Greed she calls
thrift; in her tongue riotous living is innocent joy; pride is
courtesy; the froward, a clever, courageous man; the drunkard, a
boon companion; and adultery is a mere freak of youth. On
the other hand, if she and her scholars’ [110] are to be believed, the godly is a
hypocrite or a fool; the gentle, a coward; the abstemious, a
churl, and so for every other quality. Send her thither in
all her adornment, and I warrant you she will deceive everyone;
she will blinden the counsellors, the soldiers, and all the
officers of church and state, and will draw them hither in
hurrying multitudes with the varicolored mask upon their
eyes.” Whereupon he too sat down.
Then Beelzebub, the devil of thoughtlessness stood up, and in
a harsh voice said: “I am the great prince of heedlessness
whose duty it is to prevent a man taking reflective heed of his
state; I am chief of the incessant hell-flies who utterly amaze
men, ever dinning in their ears concerning their possessions or
their pleasures, and never willingly allowing them a
moment’s leisure to think of their ways or of their
end. No one of you must dare enter the lists against me in
feats serviceable to the realm of darkness. For what is
tobacco, but one of my meanest weapons to stupefy the
brain? What is Mammon’s kingdom but a part of my
great dominion? Yea, were I to loosen the bonds I have upon
the subjects of Mammon and Pride, and even of Asmodai, Belphegor
and Hypocrisy, no man would for an instant abide their
domination. Wherefore I will do the work and let no one of
you ever utter a word.”
Then great Lucifer himself arose from his burning seat, and
having turned his hideous face to both sides, thus began:
“Ye chief spirits of the Eternal Night, princes of hopeless
guile, although the vasty gloom and the wilds of Destruction are
more bounden to none for their inhabitants than to mine own
supreme majesty—for it was I who erewhile wishing to usurp
the Almighty’s throne, drew myriads of you, my swarthy
angels, at my tail into these deadly horrors, and afterwards drew
unto you myriads of men to share this region—yet there is
no gainsay that ye all have done your share in maintaining and
extending this great infernal empire.” Then he began
to answer them one by one: “Considering thy recent origin,
Cerberus, I will not deny but that thou hast gained for us much
prey in the island of our foes through tobacco. For they
that carry, mix, and weigh it, practise all manner of fraud; and
by its indulgence some are led on to habitual drinking, some to
curse and swear, and some to seek it through blandishment, and to
lie in denying their use of it—not to speak of the injury
it inflicts upon many, and its immoderate use upon all, body as
well as soul. And better than that, myriads of the poor,
whom else we never should touch, sink hither through laying the
burden of their affection upon tobacco, and allowing it to be
their master, to steal the bread from their children’s
mouth. Then, brother Mammon, your power is so universal and
so well-known on earth that it is a proverb, ‘Everything
may be had for money.’ And without doubt,” said
he, turning to Apolyon, “my beloved daughter Pride is most
serviceable to us, for what can there be more pernicious to a
man’s estate, to his body and soul, than that proud,
obdurate opinion which will make him squander a hundred pounds
rather than yield a crown to secure peace. She keeps them
all so stiff-necked and so intent on things on high that it is
amusing to see them, while gazing upwards, and ‘extolling
their heads to the stars’ fall straightway into the depths
of hell. You too, Asmodai, we all remember your great
services in the past; there is none more resolute than you to
keep safe his prisoners under lock and key, nor any so
unimpeachable. Nowadays a wanton freak provokes only a
little laughter, but you came near perishing there from famine
during the recent years of dearth. And you, my son
Belphegor, verminous prince of sloth, no one has afforded us more
pleasure than you; your influence is exceeding great among
noblemen and also among the common people, even to the
beggar. And were it not for the skill of my daughter
Hypocrisy in coloring and adorning, who ever would swallow a
single one of our hooks? But after all, if it were not for
the unwearying courage of my brother Beelzebub in keeping men in
heedless dazedness, ye all would not be worth a straw. Let
us once more recapitulate. What good wouldst thou be,
Cerberus, with thy foreign whiff, if Mammon did not succour
thee? What merchant would ever run such risks to obtain thy
paltry leaves from India, except for Mammon’s sake?
And only for him what king would receive them, especially into
Britain, and who but for his sake would carry them to every part
of the kingdom? Yet how worthless thou too wouldst be,
Mammon, if Pride did not lavish thee upon fair mansions, fine
clothes, needless lawsuits, gardens and horses, extravagant
relatives, numerous dishes, floods of beer and ale, beyond the
power and station of their owner; for if money were spent within
the limit of necessity and of becoming moderation, what would
Mammon avail us? Thus thou art nought without Pride; and
little would Pride profit without Wantonness, for bastards are
the most numerous and the most fierce of all the subjects of my
daughter Pride. And thou, Asmodai, what wouldst thou profit
us were it not for Sloth and Idleness? Where wouldst thou
obtain a night’s lodging? Thou wouldst not dare
expect it from a laborer or diligent student. And who, for
the dishonor and the shame, would ever give thee, Belphegor the
Slothful, a moment’s welcome, if Hypocrisy did not disguise
thy foulness under the name of an internal disease, or as a good
intent or a seeming despisal of wealth or the like. She
too—my dear daughter Hypocrisy—what good is or ever
would she be, notwithstanding her skill as a seamstress, and her
boldness, without thy aid, my eldest brother, Beelzebub, great
chief of Distraction: if he gave people peace and leisure to
reflect seriously upon the nature of things and their
differences, how long would it take them to find holes in the
folds of Hypocrisy’s golden garments, and to see the hooks
through the bait? What man in his senses would gather
together toys and fleeting pleasures, surfeiting, vain and
disgraceful, and choose them in preference to a calm conscience
and the bliss of a glorious eternity? Who would refuse to
suffer the pangs of martyrdom for his faith for an hour or a day,
or affliction for forty or sixty years, if he considered that his
neighbours suffer here in an hour more than he could suffer on
earth for ever. Tobacco is nothing without Money, or Money
without Pride, and Pride is but a weakling without Wantonness,
nor is Wantonness aught without Sloth, nor Sloth without
Hypocrisy, nor Hypocrisy without Thoughtlessness.
Wherefore, now,” said Lucifer, lifting his infernal hoofs
on their claw-ends, “to give my own opinion: however
excellent all these may be, I have a friend better suited than
all to our foe of Britain.” Then could I see all the
archfiends open wide their horrid mouths upon Lucifer in eager
expectation as to what this could possibly be, while I too was as
anxious as they. “A friend,” continued Lucifer,
“whose true worth I have too long neglected, just as thou,
Satan, tempting Job of yore, didst foolishly turn upon him with
severity. This, my kinswoman, I now appoint regent in all
matters appertaining to my kingdom on earth, next to
myself. Her name is Prosperity: she has damned more than
all of you together, and little would ye avail without her
presence. For who in war or peril, in famine or in plague,
would lay any value by tobacco, or by money or by the
sprightliness of pride, or who would deign welcome licentiousness
or sloth? And men in such straits are too wide-awake to be
distraught by Hypocrisy, or even by Thoughtlessness; none of the
infernal vermin of Distraction dare show himself in one such
storm. Whereas Prosperity, with its ease and comfort, is
the nurse of all of you; beneath her peaceful shadow and upon her
tranquil bosom ye all are nourished, and every other hellish worm
that has its place in the conscience and will be for ever here
gnawing its possessor. As long as one is at ease, there is
no talk but of merriment, of feasts, bargains, genealogies,
tales, news and the like; the name of God is never mentioned
except in profane oaths and curses, whereas the poor and the
afflicted have His name upon their lips and in their hearts
always. Go ye, the seven of you, and follow her and be
mindful to keep all a-slumbering and in peace, in good fortune,
in ease and in perfect carelessness; then shall ye see the honest
poor become an untractable, arrogant knave, once he has quaffed
of the alluring cup of Prosperity; ye shall behold the diligent
laborer become a careless babbler and everything else that
pleases you. For all seek and love happy Prosperity; she
neither hearkens to advice nor fears censure; the good she knows
not, the bad she nurtures. But this is the greatest mishap:
the man that escapes her sweet charms must be given up in
despair, we must bid farewell to his company for ever.
Prosperity then is my earthly vicegerent; follow her to Britain,
and obey her as ye would our own royal majesty.”
At that instant the huge bolt was whirled, and Lucifer and his
chief counsellors were swept away into the vortex of Uttermost
Perdition; woe’s me, how terrible it was to behold the jaws
of Hell yawning wide to receive them! “Come
now,” said the Angel, “we will return, but what thou
hast seen is as nothing compared with all that is within the
bounds of Hell; and if thou didst see everything therein that
again would be as nought when compared with the unutterable woe
of the Bottomless Pit; for it is impossible to have any
conception of the life in the Uttermost Hell.” Then
suddenly the heavenly Eagle caught me up into the vault of the
accursed gloom by a way I knew not, where, from the court, across
the entire firmament of dark-burning Perdition, and all the land
of oblivion up to the ramparts of the City of Destruction, I
obtained full view of the hideous monster of a giantess whose
feet I had previously observed. “Words fail me to
describe her ways and means; but of herself I can tell thee, that
she was a three-faced ogress: one villainous face turned towards
Heaven, yelping and snarling and belching forth cursèd
abomination against the heavenly King; another face (and this was
fair to look upon) towards earth, to allure men beneath her
baneful shadow; and the other direful face towards the infernal
abyss, to torture all therein for ages without end. She is
greater than the earth in its entirety, and still continuously
increases; she is a hundredfold more hideous than all Hell which
she herself created and which she peoples. If Hell were rid
of her, the vasty deep would be a Paradise; if she were driven
from the earth, the little world would become a heaven; and if
she ascended into Heaven, she would make an uttermost hell of
that blissful realm. There is nought in all the worlds
which God has not created, save her alone. She is the
mother of the four deadly enchantresses; she is the mother of
Death and of all evil and misery, and her terrible grasp is upon
every living being. Her name is Sin. Blessed, ever
blessed be he who escapes from her clutches,” said the
Angel. Thereupon he departed, and I could hear the distant
echo of his voice saying; “Write down what thou hast seen;
and whosoever readeth it thoughtfully will never
repent.”
With heavy heart I sought
th’ infernal coast
And saw the vale of everlasting woes,
The awful home of fiends and of the lost
Where torments rage and never grant repose—
A lake of fire whence horrid flames arose
And whither tended every wayward path
Its prey to lead ’midst cruel dragon-foes;
Yet, though I wandered through withouten scath,
A world I’d spurn, to view again that scene of wrath.
With heavy heart oft I recall
to mind
How many a loving friend unwarnèd fell
To bottomless perdition, there to find
A dread abode where he for aye must dwell;
Who erst were men are now like hounds of Hell
And with unceasing energy entice
To dire combustion all with wily spell,
And to themselves have ta’en the devils’
guise,
Their power and skill all ill to do in every wise.
With heavy heart I roamed the
dismal land
That is ordained the sinner’s end to be;
What mighty waves surge wild on every hand!
What gloomy shadows haunt its canopy!
What horrors fall on high and mean degree!
How hideous is the mien of its fell lords,
What shrieks rise from that boundless glowing
sea,
How fierce the curses of the damnèd
hordes,
No mortal ken can e’er conceive or paint in words.
With heavy heart we mourn
true friends or kin
And grieve the loss of home, of liberty,
Of that good name which all aspire to win
Or health and ease and sweet tranquility;
When dim, dark clouds enshroud our memory
And pass ’tween us and heaven’s gracious
smiles,
’Tis sadder far to wake to misery
And feel that Pleasure now no more beguiles,
That sin has left nought but the wounds of its base wiles.
With heavy heart the
valiantest of men
Lays low his head beneath th’ impending
doom;
In terror he descends death’s awsome glen;
While there appear flashing through the gloom
The lurid shades of deeds which in the bloom
Of youth he dared; at last the conscience cries
With ruthless voice: “There’s life
beyond the tomb;”
His dying thoughts all vanities despise
As on the threshold of Eternity he lies.
The heavy heart that suffers
all such grief
May, while the breath of life doth still remain,
Hope for a joyous peace and blest relief;
But if grim Death his fated victim gain,
Woe’s him that entereth the realm of
pain—
For e’er on him its frowning portals close,
Nor gleam of hope shall he perceive again,
For in that vast eternal night he knows
A woe awaits that far surpasseth earthly woes.
The heavy heart beneath its
weight is crushed,
And at its very name—Damnation writ,
All men their vain and froward clamors hushed;
But when within the fiery gaping pit
Whose flaming ramparts none will ever quit,
Above the thunder’s roar th’ accursed
host
Raise such loud cries, it passeth human wit
To dream of aught so dire, for at the most,
All woes of earth as pleasures seem unto the lost.
From every vain complaining,
cease, my friend,
Since thou art yet not numbered with the dead
But turn thy thoughts unto thy destined end,
Behold thy Fates spin out the vital thread,
And oftèn as thy mind to Hell be led,
To contemplate the doleful gloom aglow,
There will forthwith possess thee such a dread,
Which Christ’s unbounded mercy doth bestow,
Lest thou be doomed to that eternal realm of woe.