The cover image was created by the transcriber and is placed in the public domain.
THE THREE FATES
BY
F. MARION CRAWFORD
AUTHOR OF “MR. ISAACS,” “DR. CLAUDIUS,” “SARACINESCA,” ETC.
London
MACMILLAN AND CO.
AND NEW YORK
1893
All rights reserved
Copyright, 1891,
By MACMILLAN AND CO.
Set up and electrotyped January, 1892.
Reprinted April, May, October, 1892.
Typography by J. S. Cushing & Co., Boston, U.S.A.
Presswork by Berwick & Smith, Boston, U.S.A.
To
FREDERICK MACMILLAN
AN EXPRESSION OF GRATITUDE
FROM AN AUTHOR TO HIS PUBLISHER
AND OF HIGH ESTEEM ENTERTAINED
BY ONE MAN FOR ANOTHER
Rome, February 21, 1892
THE THREE FATES.
CHAPTER I.
1
Jonah Wood was bitterly disappointed in his son.
During five and twenty years he had looked in vain for
the development of those qualities in George, which
alone, in his opinion, could insure success. But though
George could talk intelligently about the great movements
of business in New York, it was clear by this time
that he did not possess what his father called business
instincts. The old man could have forgiven him his
defective appreciation in the matter of dollars and cents,
however, if he had shown the slightest inclination to
adopt one of the regular professions; in other words, if
George had ceased to waste his time in the attempt to
earn money with his pen, and had submitted to becoming
a scribe in a lawyer’s office, old Wood would have
been satisfied. The boy’s progress might have been
slow, but it would have been sure.
It was strange to see how this elderly man, who had
been ruined by the exercise of his own business faculties,
still pinned his faith upon his own views and theories
of finance, and regarded it as a real misfortune to
be the father of a son who thought differently from himself.
It would have satisfied the height of his ambition
2to see George installed as a clerk on a nominal salary in
one of the great banking houses. Possibly, at an earlier
period, and before George had finally refused to enter a
career of business, there may have been in the bottom
of the old man’s heart a hope that his son might some
day become a financial power, and wreak vengeance for
his own and his father’s losses upon Thomas Craik or
his heirs after him; but if this wish existed Jonah Wood
had honestly tried to put it out of the way. He was of
a religious disposition, and his moral rectitude was above
all doubt. He did not forgive his enemies, but he sincerely
meant to do so, and did his best not to entertain
any hope of revenge.
The story of his wrongs was a simple one. He had
formerly been a very successful man. Of a good New
England family, he had come to New York when very
young, possessed of a small capital, full of integrity, industry,
and determination. At the age of forty he was
at the head of a banking firm which had for a time
enjoyed a reputation of some importance. Then he had
married a young lady of good birth and possessing a
little fortune, to whom he had been attached for years
and who had waited for him with touching fidelity.
Twelve months later, she had died in giving birth to
George. Possibly the terrible shock weakened Jonah
Wood’s nerves and disturbed the balance of his faculties.
At all events it was at this time that he began to enter
into speculation. At first he was very successful, and
his success threw him into closer intimacy with Thomas
Craik, a cousin of his dead wife’s. For a time everything
prospered with the bank, while Wood acquired the habit
of following Craik’s advice. On an ill-fated day, however,
the latter persuaded him to invest largely in a
certain railway not yet begun, but which was completed
in a marvellously short space of time. In the course of
a year or two it was evident that the road, which Craik
insisted on running upon the most ruinous principles,
must soon become bankrupt. It had of course been built
3to compete with an old established line; the usual war
of rates set in, the old road suffered severely, and the
young one was ruined. This was precisely what Craik
had anticipated. So soon as the bankruptcy was declared
and the liquidation terminated, he bought up every bond
and share upon which he could lay his hands. Wood
was ruined, together with a number of other heavy
investors. The road, however, having ceased to pay
interest on its debts continued to run at rates disastrous
to its more honest competitor, and before long the
latter was obliged in self-defence to buy up its rival.
When that extremity was reached Thomas Craik was in
possession of enough bonds and stock to give him a controlling
interest, and he sold the ruined railway at his
own price, realising a large fortune by the transaction.
Wood was not only financially broken; his reputation,
too, had suffered in the catastrophe. At first, people
looked askance at him, believing that he had got a share
of the profits, and that he was only pretending poverty
until the scandal should blow over, though he had in
reality sacrificed almost everything he possessed in the
honourable liquidation of the bank’s affairs, and found
himself, at the age of fifty-seven, in possession only of
the small fortune that had been his wife’s, and of the
small house which had escaped the general ruin, and in
which he now lived. Thomas Craik had robbed him, as
he had robbed many others, and Jonah Wood knew it,
though there was no possibility of ever recovering a
penny of his losses. His nerve was gone, and by the
time people had discovered that he was the most honest
of men, he was more than half forgotten by those he had
known best. He had neither the energy nor the courage
to begin life again, and although he had cleared his reputation
of all blame, he knew that he had made the great
mistake, and that no one would ever again trust to his
judgment. It seemed easiest to live in the little house,
to get what could be got out of life for himself and his
son on an income of scarcely two thousand dollars, and
to shut himself out from his former acquaintance.
4And yet, though his own career had ended in such
lamentable failure, he would gladly have seen George
begin where he had begun. George would have succeeded
in doing all those things which he himself had
left undone, and he might have lived to see established
on a firm basis the great fortune which for a few brief
years had been his in a floating state. But George could
not be brought to understand this point of view. His
youthful recollections were connected with monetary disaster,
and his first boyish antipathies had been conceived
against everything that bore the name of business.
What he felt for the career of the money-maker was
more than antipathy; it amounted to a positive horror
which he could not overcome. From time to time his
father returned to the old story of his wrongs and misfortunes,
going over the tale as he sat with George
through the long winter evenings, and entering into
every detail of the transaction which had ruined him.
In justice to the young man it must be admitted that he
was patient on those occasions, and listened with outward
calm to the long technical explanations, the interminable
concatenation of figures and the jarring cadence
of phrases that all ended with the word dollars. But the
talk was as painful to him as a violin played out of tune
is to a musician, and it reacted upon his nerves and produced
physical pain of an acute kind. He could set his
features in an expression of respectful attention, but he
could not help twisting his long smooth fingers together
under the edge of the table, where his father could not
see them. The very name of money disgusted him, and
when the great failure had been talked of in the evening
it haunted his dreams throughout the night and
destroyed his rest, so that he awoke with a sense of nervousness
and distress from which he could not escape
until late in the following day.
Jonah Wood saw more of this peculiarity than his son
suspected, though he failed to understand it. With
him, nervousness took a different form, manifesting
5itself in an abnormal anxiety concerning George’s welfare,
combined with an unfortunate disposition to find
fault. Of late, indeed, he had not been able to accuse
the young man of idleness, since he was evidently working
to the utmost of his strength, though his occupations
brought him but little return. It seemed a pity to
Jonah Wood that so much good time and so much young
energy should be wasted over pen, ink, paper, and books
which left no record of a daily substantial gain. He,
too, slept little, though his iron-grey face betrayed nothing
of what passed in his mind.
He loved his son in his own untrusting way. It was
his affection, combined with his inability to believe
much good of what he loved, that undermined and embittered
the few pleasures still left to him. He had never
seen any hope except in money, and since George hated
the very mention of lucre there could be no hope for him
either. A good man, a scrupulously honest man according
to his lights, he could only see goodness from one
point of view and virtue represented in one dress.
Goodness was obedience to parental authority, and virtue
the imitation of parental ideas. George believed
that obedience should play no part in determining what
he should do with his talent, and that imitation, though
it be the sincerest flattery, may lay the foundation for
the most hopeless of all failures, the failure to do that
for which a man is best adapted. George had not deliberately
chosen a literary career because he felt himself
fitted for it. He was in reality far too modest to look
forward from the first to the ultimate satisfaction of his
ambitions. His lonely life had driven him to writing
as a means of expressing himself without incurring his
father’s criticism and contradiction. Not understanding
in the least the nature of imagination, he believed himself
lacking in this respect, but he had at once found an
immense satisfaction in writing down his opinions concerning
certain new books that had fallen into his hands.
Then, being emboldened by that belief in his own judgment
6which young men acquire very easily when they
are not brought into daily contact with their intellectual
equals, he had ventured to offer the latest of his attempts
to one editor and then to another and another. At last
he had found one who chanced to be in a human humour
and who glanced at one of the papers.
“It is not worthless,” said the autocrat, “but it is
quite useless. Everybody has done with the book
months ago. Do you want to earn a little money by
reviewing?”
George expressed his readiness to do so with alacrity.
The editor scribbled half a dozen words on a slip of
paper from a block and handed it to George, telling him
where to take it. As a first result the young man carried
away a couple of volumes of new-born trash upon
which to try his hand. A quarter of what he wrote was
published in the literary column of the newspaper.
He had yet to learn the cynical practice of counting
words, upon which so much depends in dealing with the
daily press, but the idea of actually earning something,
no matter how little, overcame his first feeling of disgust
at the nature of the work. In time he acquired the
necessary tricks and did very well. By sheer determination
he devoted all his best hours of the day to the
drudgery of second class criticism, and only allowed
himself to write what was agreeable to his own brain
when the day’s work was done.
The idea of producing a book did not suggest itself to
him. In his own opinion he had none of the necessary
gifts for original writing, while he fancied that he
possessed those of the critic in a rather unusual degree.
His highest ambition was to turn out a volume of essays
on other people’s doings and writings, and he was constantly
labouring in his leisure moments at long papers
treating of celebrated works, in what he believed to be a
spirit of profound analysis. As yet no one had bestowed
the slightest attention upon his efforts; no serious article
of his had found its way into the press, though a goodly
7number of his carefully copied manuscripts had issued
from the offices of various periodicals in the form of
waste paper. Strange to say, he was not discouraged by
these failures. The satisfaction, so far as he had known
any, had consisted in the writing down of his views;
and though he wished it were possible to turn his ink-stained
pages into money, his natural detestation of all
business transactions whatsoever made him extremely
philosophical in repeated failure. Even in regard to
his daily drudgery, which was regularly paid, the least
pleasant moment was the one when he had to begin his
round from one newspaper cashier to another to receive
the little cheques which made him independent of his
father so far as his only luxuries of new books and
tobacco were concerned. Pride, indeed, was now at the
bottom of his resolution to continue in the uninteresting
course that had been opened before him. Having once
succeeded in buying for himself what he wanted or needed
beyond his daily bread he would have been ashamed to
ever go again for pocket-money to his father.
The nature of this occupation, which he would not
relinquish, was beginning to produce its natural effect
upon his character. He felt that he was better than his
work, and the inevitable result ensued. He felt that he
was hampered and tied, and that every hour spent in
such labour was a page stolen from the book of his reputation;
that he was giving for a pitiful wage the precious
time in which something important might have been
accomplished, and that his life would turn out a failure
if it continued to run on much longer in the same groove.
And yet he assumed that it would be absolutely impossible
for him to abandon his drudgery in order to devote
himself solely to the series of essays on which he had
pinned his hopes of success. His serious work, as he
called it, made little progress when interrupted at every
step by the necessity for writing twaddle about trash.
It may be objected that George Wood should not have
written twaddle, but should have employed his best
8energies in the improvement of second class literature
by systematically telling the truth about it. Unfortunately
the answer to such a stricture is not far to seek.
If he had written what he thought, the newspapers
would have ceased to employ him; not that it is altogether
impossible to write honestly about the great rivers
of minor books which flow east and west and north and
south from the publishers’ gardens, but because the
critic who has the age, experience, and talent to bestow
faint praise without inflicting damnation commands a
high price and cannot be wasted on little authors and
their little publications. The beginner often knows that
he is writing twaddle and regrets it, and he very likely
knows how to write in strains of enthusiastic eulogium
or of viciously cruel abuse; but though he have all these
things, he has not yet acquired the unaffected charity
which covers a multitude of sins, and which is the result
of an ancient and wise good feeling entertained between
editors, publishers and critics. He cannot really feel
mildly well disposed towards a book he despises, and his
only chance of expressing gentle sentiments not his own,
lies in the plentiful use of unmitigated twaddle. If he
remains a critic, he is either lifted out of the sphere of
the daily saleable trash to that of serious first class literature,
or else he imbibes through the pores of his soul
such proportional parts of the editor’s and the publisher’s
wishes as shall combine in his own character and produce
the qualities which they both desire to find there and to
see expressed in his paragraphs.
It could not be said that George Wood was discontented
with what he found to do, so much as with being
constantly hindered from doing something better. And
that better thing which he would have done, and believed
that he could have done, was in reality far from having
reached the stage of being clearly defined. He had
never felt any strong liking for fiction, and his mind had
been nourished upon unusually solid intellectual food,
while the outward circumstances of his life had necessarily
9left much to his imagination, which to most young
men of five and twenty is already matter of experience.
As a boy he had been too much with older people, and
had therefore thought too much to be boyish. Possibly,
too, he had seen more than was good for him, for his
father had left him but a short time at school in the days
of their prosperity, and, being unable to leave New
York for any length of time, had more than once sent
him abroad with an elderly tutor from whom the lad had
acquired all sorts of ideas that were too big for him.
He had been wrongly supposed to be of a delicate constitution,
too, and had been indulged in all manner of
intellectual whims and fancies, whereby he had gained
a smattering of many sciences and literatures at an age
when he ought to have been following a regular course
of instruction. Then, before he was thought old enough
to enter a university, the crash had come.
Jonah Wood was far too conscientious a man not to
sacrifice whatever he could for the completion of his
son’s education. For several years he deprived himself
of every luxury, in order that George might have the
assistance he so greatly needed while making his studies
at Columbia College in his native city. Then only did
the father realise how he had erred in allowing the boy
to receive the desultory and aimless teaching that had
seemed so generous in the days of wealth. He knew
more or less well a variety of subjects of which his companions
were wholly ignorant, but he was utterly unversed
in much of their knowledge. And this was not
all, for George had acquired from his former tutor a
misguided contempt for the accepted manner of dealing
with certain branches of learning, without possessing
that grasp of the matters in hand which alone justifies a
man in thinking differently from the great mass of his
fellows. It is not well to ridicule the American method
of doing things until one is master of some other.
It was from the time when George entered college that
he began to be a constant source of disappointment to
10his father. The elderly man had received a good, old-fashioned,
thoroughly prejudiced education, and though
he remembered little Latin and less Greek, he had not
forgotten the way in which he had been made to learn
both. George’s way of talking about his studies disturbed
his father’s sense of intellectual propriety, which
was great, without exciting his curiosity, which was
infinitesimally small. With him also prevailed the
paternal view which holds that young men must necessarily
distinguish themselves above their companions if
they really possess any exceptional talent, and his peace
of mind was further endangered by his sense of responsibility
for George’s beginnings. If he had believed
that George was stupid, he would have resigned himself
to that dispensation of Providence. But he thought
otherwise. The boy was not an ordinary boy, and if he
failed to prove it by taking prizes in competition, he
must be lazy or his preparation must have been defective.
No other alternative was to be found, and the
fault therefore lay either with himself or with his
father.
George never obtained a prize, and barely passed his
examinations at all. Jonah Wood made a point of seeing
all his examiners as well as the instructors who had
known him during his college life. Three-quarters of
the number asserted that the young fellow was undeniably
clever, and added, expressing themselves with professorial
politeness, that his previous studies seemed to
have taken a direction other than that of the college
“curriculum,” as they called it. The professor of Greek
presumed that George might have distinguished himself
in Latin, the professor of Latin surmised that Greek
might have been his strong point; both believed that he
had talent for mathematics, while the mathematician
remarked that he seemed to have a very good understanding,
but that it would be turned to better account in the
pursuit of classical studies. Jonah Wood returned to
his home very much disturbed in mind, and from that
11day his anxiety steadily increased. As it became more
clear that his son would never accept a business career,
but would probably waste his opportunities in literary
dabbling, the good man’s alarm became extreme. He
did not see that George’s one true talent lay in his ready
power of assimilating unfamiliar knowledge by a process
of intuition that escapes methodical learners, any more
than he understood that the boy’s one solid acquirement
was the power of using his own language. He was not
to be too much blamed, perhaps, for the young man
himself was only dimly conscious of his yet undeveloped
power. What made him write was neither the pride of
syntax nor the certainty of being right in his observations;
he was driven to paper to escape from the torment
of the desire to express something, he knew not what,
which he could express in no other way. He found no
congenial conversation at home and little abroad, and
yet he felt that he had something to say and must say it.
It should not be supposed that either Jonah Wood’s
misfortunes or his poverty, which was after all comparative,
though hard to bear, prevented George from mixing
in the world with which he was connected by his
mother’s birth, and to some extent by his father’s former
position. The old gentleman, indeed, was too proud to
renew his acquaintance with people who had thought
him dishonourable until he had proved himself spotless;
but the very demonstration of his uprightness had been
so convincing and clear that it constituted a patent of
honour for his son. Many persons who had blamed
themselves for their hasty judgment would have been
glad to make amends by their cordial reception of the
man they had so cruelly mistaken. George, however,
was quite as proud as his father, and much more sensitive.
He remembered well enough the hard-hearted,
boyish stare he had seen in the eyes of some of his companions
when he was but just seventeen years old, and
later, at college, when his father’s self-sacrifice was fully
known, and his old associates had held out their hands
12to his in the hope of making everything right again,
George had met them with stony eyes and scornful
civility. It was not easy to forgive, and with all his
excellent qualities and noble honesty of purpose, Jonah
Wood was not altogether displeased to know that his son
held his head high and drew back from the renewal of
fair weather friendships. Almost against his will he
encouraged him in his conduct, while doing his best to
appear at least indifferent.
George needed but little encouragement to remain in
social obscurity, though he was conscious of a rather
contemptible hope that he might one day play a part in
society, surrounded by all the advantages of wealth and
general respect which belong especially to those few who
possess both, by inheritance rather than as a result of
their own labours. He was not quite free from that
subtle aristocratic taint which has touched so many
members of American society. Like the wind, no man
can tell whence it comes nor whither it goes; but unlike
the ill wind in the proverb it blows no good to any one.
It is not the breath of that republican inequality which
is caused by two men extracting a different degree of
advantage from the same circumstances; it is not the
inevitable inequality produced by the inevitable struggle
for existence, wealth and power; but it is the fictitious
inequality caused by the pretence that the accident of a
man’s birth should of itself constitute for him a claim
to have special opportunities made for him, adapted to
his use and protected by law for his particular benefit.
It is a fallacy which is in the air, and which threatens
to produce evil consequences wherever it becomes localised.
Perhaps, at some future time yet far distant, a man
will arise who shall fathom and explain the great problems
presented by human vanity. No more interesting
study could be found wherewith to occupy the greatest
mind, and assuredly none in the pursuit of which a man
would be so constantly confronted by new and varied
13matter for research. One main fact at least we know.
Vanity is the boundless, circumambient and all-penetrating
ether in which all man’s thoughts and actions have
being and receive manifestation. All moral and intellectual
life is either full of it and in sympathy with it,
breathing it as our bodies breathe the air, or is out of
balance with it in the matter of quantity and is continually
struggling to restore its own lost equilibrium. It
is as impossible to conceive of anything being done in
the world without also conceiving the element of vanity
as the medium for the action, as it is to imagine motion
without space, or time without motion. To say that any
man who succeeds in the race for superiority of any sort
is without vanity, is downright nonsense; to assert that
any man can reach success without it, would be to state
more than any one has yet been able to prove. Let us
accept the fact that we are all vain, whether we be saints
or sinners, men of action or men of thought, men who
leave our sign manual upon the page of our little day
or men who trudge through the furrows of a nameless
life ploughing and sowing that others may reap and eat
and be merry. After all, does not our conception of
heaven suggest to us a life from which all vanity is
absent, and does not our idea of hell show us an existence
in which vanity reigns supreme and hopeless, without
prospect of satisfaction? Let us at least strive that
our vanity may neither do injury to our fellow-men, nor
recoil and become ridiculous in ourselves.
Enough has been said to define and explain the character
and life of the young man whose history this book
is to relate. He himself was far from being conscious
of all his virtues, faults, and capabilities. He neither
knew his own energy nor was aware of the hidden
enthusiasm which was only just beginning to make itself
felt as a vague, uneasy longing for something that
should surpass ordinary things. He did not know that
he possessed singular talents as well as unusual defects.
He had not even begun to look upon life as a problem
14offered him for solution, and upon his own heart as an
object for his own study. He scarcely felt that he had
a heart at all, nor knew where to look for it in others.
His life was not happy, and yet he had not tasted the
bitter sources of real unhappiness. He was oppressed
by his surroundings, but he could not have told what he
would have done with the most untrammelled liberty.
He despised money, he worked for a pittance, and yet
he secretly longed for all that money could buy. He
was profoundly attached to his father, and yet he found
the good man’s company intolerable. He shrank from
a society in which he might have been a welcome guest,
and yet he dreamed of playing a great part in it some
day. He believed himself cynical when he was in
reality quixotic, his idols of gold were hidden behind
images of clay, and he really cared little for those things
which he had schooled himself to admire the most. He
fancied himself a critic when he was foredestined by his
nature and his circumstances to become an object of criticism
to others. He forced his mind to do what it found
least congenial, not acting in obedience to any principle
or idea of duty, but because he was sure that he knew
his own abilities, and that no other path lay open to
success. He was in the darkest part of the transition
which precedes development, for he was in that period
during which a man makes himself imagine that he has
laid hold on the thread of the future, while something
he will not heed warns him that the chaos is wilder
than ever before. In the dark hour before manhood’s
morning he was journeying resolutely away from the
coming dawn.
CHAPTER II.
15
“It is very sad,” observed Mrs. Sherrington Trimm,
thoughtfully. “Their mother died in London last
autumn, and now they are quite alone—nobody with
them but an aunt, or something like that—poor girls!
I am so glad they are rich, at least. You ought to
know them.”
“Ought I?” asked the visitor who was drinking his
tea on the other side of the fireplace. “You know I do
not go into society.”
“The girls go nowhere, either. They are still in
mourning. You ought to know them. Who knows,
you might marry one or the other.”
“I will never marry a fortune.”
“Do not be silly, George!”
The relationship between the two speakers was not
very close. George Winton Wood’s mother had been a
second cousin of Mrs. Sherrington Trimm’s, and the two
ladies had not been on very friendly terms with each
other. Moreover, Mrs. Trimm had nothing to do with
old Jonah Wood, the father of the young man with
whom she was now speaking, and Jonah Wood refused
to have anything to do with her. Nevertheless she
called his son by his first name, and the latter usually
addressed her as “Cousin Totty.” An examination of
Mrs. Sherrington Trimm’s baptismal certificate would
have revealed the fact that she had been christened
Charlotte, but parental fondness had made itself felt
with its usual severity in such cases, and before she was
a year old she had been labelled with the comic diminutive
which had stuck to her ever since, through five and
twenty years of maidenhood, and twenty years more of
married life. On her visiting cards, and in her formal
invitations she appeared as Mrs. Sherrington Trimm;
but the numerous members of New York society who
16were related to her by blood or marriage, called her
“Totty” to her face, while those who claimed no connection
called her “Totty” behind her back; and though
she may live beyond three score years and ten, and
though her strength come to sorrow and weakness, she
will be “Totty” still, to the verge of the grave, and
beyond, even after she is comfortably laid away in the
family vault at Greenwood.
After all, the name was not inappropriate, so far at
least, as Mrs. Trimm’s personal appearance was concerned;
for she was very smooth, and round, and judiciously
plump, short, fair, and neatly made, with pretty
little hands and feet; active and not ungraceful, sleek
but not sleepy; having small, sharp blue eyes, a very
obliging and permanent smile, a diminutive pointed
nose, salmon-coloured lips, and perfect teeth. Her good
points did not, indeed, conceal her age altogether, but
they obviated all necessity for an apology to the world
for the crime of growing old; and those features which
were less satisfactory to herself were far from being
offensive to others.
She bore in her whole being and presence the stamp
of a comfortable life. There is nothing more disturbing
to society than the forced companionship of a person
who either is, or looks, uncomfortable, in body, mind,
or fortune, and many people owe their popularity almost
solely to a happy faculty of seeming always at their
ease. It is certain that neither birth, wealth, nor talent
will of themselves make man or woman popular, not
even when all three are united in the possession of one
individual. But on the other hand they are not drawbacks
to social success, provided they are merely means
to the attainment of that unobtrusively careless good
humour which the world loves. Mrs. Sherrington
Trimm knew this. If not talented, she possessed at all
events a pedigree and a fortune; and as for talent, she
looked upon culture as an hereditary disease peculiar to
Bostonians, and though not contagious, yet full of danger,
17inasmuch as its presence in a well-organised society
must necessarily be productive of discomfort. All the
charm of general conversation must be gone, she
thought, when a person appeared who was both able and
anxious to set everybody right. She even went so far as
to say that if everybody were poor, it would be very
disagreeable to be rich. She never wished to do what
others could not do; she only aimed at being among the
first to do what everybody would do by and by, as a
matter of course.
Mrs. Trimm’s cousin George did not understand this
point of view as yet, though he was beginning to suspect
that “Totty and her friends”—as he generally designated
society—must act upon some such principle. He
was only five and twenty years of age, and could hardly
be expected to be in the secrets of a life he had hitherto
seen as an outsider; but he differed from Totty and
her friends in being exceedingly clever, exceedingly
unhappy, and exceedingly full of aspirations, ambitions,
fancies, ideas, and thoughts; in being poor instead of
rich, and, lastly, in being the son of a man who had failed
in the pursuit of wealth, and who could not prove even
the most distant relationship to any one of the gentlemen
who had signed the Declaration of Independence,
fought in the Revolution, or helped to frame the Constitution
of the United States. George, indeed, possessed
these ancestral advantages through his mother, and in a
more serviceable form through his relationship to Totty;
but she, on her part, felt that the burden of his cleverness
might be too heavy for her to bear, should she
attempt to launch him upon her world. Her sight was
keen enough, and she saw at a glance the fatal difference
between George and other people. He had a habit
of asking serious questions, and of saying serious things,
which would be intolerable at a dinner-party. He was
already too strong to be put down, he was not yet important
enough to be shown off. Totty’s husband, who
was an eminent lawyer, occasionally asked George to
18dine with him at his club, and usually said when he came
home that he could not understand the boy; but, being
of an inquiring disposition, Mr. Trimm was impelled to
repeat the hospitality at intervals that gradually became
more regular. At first he had feared that the dark,
earnest face of the young man, and his grave demeanour,
concealed the soul of a promising prig, a social article
which Sherrington Trimm despised and loathed. He
soon discovered, however, that these apprehensions
were groundless. From time to time his companion
gave utterance to some startling opinion or freezing bit
of cynicism which he had evidently been revolving in his
thoughts for a long time, and which forced Mr. Trimm’s
gymnastic intelligence into thinking more seriously than
usual. Doubtless George’s remarks were often paradoxical
and youthfully wild, but his hearer liked them none
the less for that. Keen and successful in his own profession
he scented afar the capacity for success in other
callings. Accustomed by the habits and pursuits of his
own exciting life to judge men and things quickly, he
recognised in George another mode of the force to which
he himself owed his reputation. To lay down the law
and determine the precise manner in which that force
should be used, was another matter, and one in which
Sherrington Trimm did not propose to meddle. More
than once, indeed, he asked George what he meant to do in
the world, and George answered, with a rather inappropriate
look of determination that he believed himself good
for nothing, and that when there was no more bread and
butter at home he should doubtless find his own level by
going up long ladders with a hod of bricks on his shoulder.
Mr. Trimm’s jovial face usually expressed his disbelief
in such theories by a bland smile as he poured out
another glass of wine for his young guest. He felt sure
that George would do something, and George, who got
little sympathy in his life, understood his encouraging
certainty, and was grateful.
Mrs. Trimm, however, shared her cousin’s asserted
19convictions about himself so far as to believe that unless
something was done for him, he might actually be driven
to manual labour for support. She assuredly had no
faith in general cleverness as a means of subsistence for
young men without fortune, and yet she felt that she
ought to do something for George Wood. There was a
good reason for this beneficent instinct. Her only
brother was chiefly responsible for the ruin that had
overtaken Jonah Wood, when George was still a boy,
and she herself had been one of the winners in the game,
or at least had been a sharer with her brother in the
winnings. It is true that the facts of the case had
never been generally known, and that George’s father
had been made to suffer unjustly in his reputation after
being plundered of his wealth; but Mrs. Trimm was not
without a conscience, any more than the majority of her
friends. If she loved money and wanted more of it,
this was because she wished to be like other people, and
not because she was vulgarly avaricious. She was willing
to keep what she had, though a part of it should
have been George’s and was ill-gotten. She wished
her brother, Thomas Craik, to keep all he possessed until
he should die, and then she wished him to leave it to
her, Charlotte Sherrington Trimm. But she also desired
that George should have compensation for what his
father had lost, and the easiest and least expensive way
of providing him with the money he had not, was to
help him to a rich marriage. It was not, indeed, fitting
that he should marry her only daughter, Mamie, though
the girl was nineteen years old and showed a disquieting
tendency to like George. Such a marriage would result
only in a transfer of wealth without addition or multiplication,
which was not the form of magnanimity most
agreeable to cousin Totty’s principles. There were other
rich girls in the market; one of them might be interested
in the tall young man with the dark face and the quiet
manner, and might bestow herself upon him, and endow
him with all her worldly goods. Totty had now been
20lucky enough to find two such young ladies together,
orphans both, and both of age, having full control of the
large and equally divided patrimony they had lately
inherited. Better still, they were reported to be highly
gifted and fond of clever people, and she herself knew
that they were both pretty. She had resolved that
George should know them without delay, and had sent
for him as a preliminary step towards bringing about the
acquaintance. George met her at once with the plain
statement that he would never marry money, as the
phrase goes, but she treated his declaration of independence
with appropriate levity.
“Do not be silly, George!” she exclaimed with a little
laugh.
“I am not,” George answered, in a tone of conviction.
“Oh, I know you are clever enough,” retorted his
cousin. “But that is quite a different thing. Besides,
I was not thinking seriously of your marrying.”
“I guessed as much, from the fact of your mentioning
it,” observed the young man quietly.
Mrs. Trimm stared at him for a moment, and then
laughed again.
“Am I never thinking seriously of what I am saying?”
“Tell me about these girls,” said George, avoiding an
answer. “If they are rich and unmarried, they must
be old and hideous——”
“They are neither.”
“Mere children then——”
“Yes—they are younger than you.”
“Poor little things! I see—you want me to play
with them, and teach them games and things of that
sort. What is the salary? I am open to an engagement
in any respectable calling. Or perhaps you would prefer
Mrs. Macwhirter, my old nurse. It is true that she is
blind of one eye and limps a little, but she would make
a reduction in consideration of her infirmities, if money
is an object.”
“Try and be serious; I want you to know them.”
21“Do I look like a man who wastes time in laughing?”
inquired George, whose imperturbable gravity was one of
his chief characteristics.
“No—you have other resources at your command for
getting at the same result.”
“Thanks. You are always flattering. When am I to
begin amusing your little friends?”
“To-day, if you like. We can go to them at once.”
George Wood glanced down almost unconsciously at
the clothes he wore, with the habit of a man who is very
poor and is not always sure of being presentable at a
moment’s notice. His preoccupation did not escape
cousin Totty, whose keen instinct penetrated his thoughts
and found there an additional incentive to the execution
of her beneficent intentions. It was a shame, she
thought, that any relation of hers should need to think
of such miserable details as the possession of a decent
coat and whole shoes. At the present moment, indeed,
George was arrayed with all appropriate correctness, but
Totty remembered to have caught sight of him sometimes
when he was evidently not expecting to meet any acquaintance,
and she had noticed on those occasions that his dress
was very shabby indeed. It was many years since she
had seen his father, and she wondered whether he, too,
went about in old clothes, sure of not meeting anybody
he knew. The thought was not altogether pleasant, and
she put it from her. It was a part of her method of life
not to think disagreeable thoughts, and though her plan
to bring about a rich marriage for her cousin was but a
scheme for quieting her conscience, she determined to
believe that she was putting herself to great inconvenience
out of spontaneous generosity, for which George
would owe her a debt of lifelong gratitude.
George, having satisfied himself that his appearance
would pass muster, and realising that Totty must have noticed
his self-inspection, immediately asked her opinion.
“Will I do?” he asked with an odd shade of shyness,
and glancing again at the sleeve of his coat, as though to
22explain what he meant, well knowing that all explanation
was unnecessary.
Totty, who had thoroughly inspected him before proposing
that they should go out together, now pretended
to look him over with a critical eye.
“Of course—perfectly,” she said, after three or four
seconds. “Wait for me a moment, and I will get ready,”
she added, as she rose and left the room.
When George was alone, he leaned back in his comfortable
chair and looked at the familiar objects about
him with a weary expression which he had not worn
while his cousin had been present. He could not tell
exactly why he came to see cousin Totty, and he generally
went home after his visits to her with a vague
sense of disappointment. In the first place, he always
felt that there was a sort of disloyalty in coming at all.
He knew the details of his father’s past life, and was
aware that old Tom Craik had been the cause of his ruin,
and he guessed that Totty had profited by the same
catastrophe, since he had always heard that her brother
managed her property. He even fancied that Totty was
not so harmless as she looked, and that she was very
fond of money, though he was astonished at his own
boldness in suspecting the facts to be so much at variance
with the outward appearance. He was very young,
and he feared to trust his own judgment, though he had
an intimate conviction that his instincts were right.
On the whole he was forced to admit to himself that
there were many reasons against his periodical visits to
the Trimms, and he was quite ready to allow that it was
not Totty’s personality or conversation that attracted
him to the house. Yet, as he rested in the cushioned
chair he had selected and felt the thick carpet under his
feet, and breathed that indefinable atmosphere which
impregnates every corner of a really luxurious house,
he knew that it would be very hard to give up the habit
of enjoying all these things at regular intervals. He
imagined that his thoughts liquefied and became more
23mobile under the genial influence, forgetting the grooves
and moulds so unpleasantly familiar to them. Hosts
of ideas and fancies presented themselves to him, which
he recognised as belonging to a self that only came to
life from time to time; a self full of delicate sensations
and endowed with brilliant powers of expression; a self
of which he did not know whether to be ashamed or
proud; a self as overflowing with ready appreciation, as
his other common, daily self was inclined to depreciate
all that the world admired, and to find fault with everything
that was presented to its view. Though conscious
of all this, however, George did not care to analyse his
own motives too closely. It was disagreeable to his pride
to find that he attached so much importance to what he
described collectively as furniture and tea. He was
disappointed with himself, and he did all in his power
not to increase his disappointment. Then an extreme
depression came upon him, and showed itself in his face.
He felt impelled to escape from the house, to renounce
the visit Totty had proposed, to go home, get into his
oldest clothes and work desperately at something, no
matter what. But for his cousin’s opportune return, he
might have yielded to the impulse. She re-entered the
room briskly, dressed for walking and smiling as usual.
George’s expression changed as he heard the latch move
in the door, and Mrs. Sherrington Trimm must have
been even keener than she was, to guess what had been
passing in his mind. She was not, however, in the
observant mood, but in the subjective, for she felt that
she was now about to appear as her cousin’s benefactress,
and, having got rid of her qualms of conscience, she
experienced a certain elation at her own skill in the
management of her soul.
George took his hat and rose with alacrity. There
was nothing essentially distasteful to him in the prospect
of being presented to a pair of pretty sisters, who had
doubtless been warned of his coming, and his foolish
longing for his old clothes and his work disappeared as
suddenly as it had come.
24It was still winter, and the low afternoon sun fell
across the avenue from the westward streets in broad
golden patches. It was still winter, but the promise of
spring was already in the air, and a faint mist hung
about the vanishing point of the seemingly endless rows
of buildings. The trees were yet far from budding, but
the leafless branches no longer looked dead, and the
small twigs were growing smooth and glossy with the
returning circulation of the sap. There were many
people on foot in the avenue, and Totty constantly nodded
and smiled to her passing acquaintances, who generally
looked with some interest at George as they acknowledged
or forestalled his companion’s salutation. He knew a
few of them by sight, but not one passed with whom he
had ever spoken, and he felt somewhat foolishly ashamed
of not knowing every one. When he was alone the
thought did not occur to him, but his cousin’s incessant
smiles and nods made him realise vividly the difference
between her social position and his own. He wondered
whether the gulf would ever be bridged over, and whether
at any future time those very correct people who now
looked at him with inquiring eyes would be as anxious
to know him and be recognised by him as they now
seemed desirous of knowing Totty and being saluted by
her.
“Do you mean to say that you really remember the
names of all these friends of yours?” he asked, presently.
“Why not? I have known most of them since I was
a baby, and they have known me. You could learn their
names fast enough if you would take the trouble.”
“Why should I? They do not want me. I should
never be a part of their lives.”
“Why not? You could if you liked, and I am always
telling you so. Society never wants anybody who does
not want it. It is founded on the principle of giving
and receiving in return. If you show that you like
people, they will show that they like you.”
25“That would depend upon my motives.”
Mrs. Sherrington Trimm laughed, lowered her parasol,
and turned her head so that she could see George’s face.
“Motives!” she exclaimed. “Nobody cares about
your motives, provided you have good manners. It is
only in business that people talk about motives.”
“Then any adventurer who chose might take his place
in society,” objected George.
“Of course he might—and does. It occurs constantly,
and nothing unpleasant happens to him, unless he makes
love in the wrong direction or borrows money without
returning it. Unfortunately those are just the two
things most generally done by adventurers, and then
they come to grief. A man is taken at his own valuation
in society, until he commits a social crime and is found
out.”
“You think there would be nothing to prevent my
going into society, if I chose to try it?”
“Nothing in the world, if you will follow one or two
simple rules.”
“And what may they be?” inquired George, becoming
interested.
“Let me see—in the first place—dear me! how hard
it is to explain such things! I should say that one ought
never to ask a question about anybody, unless one knows
the answer, and knows that the person to whom one is
speaking will be glad to talk about the matter. One
may avoid a deal of awkwardness by not asking a man
about his wife, for instance, if she has just applied for
a divorce. But if his sister is positively engaged to
marry an English duke, you should always ask about
her. That kind of conversation makes things pleasant.”
“I like that view,” said George. “Give me some
more advice.”
“Never say anything disagreeable about any one you
know.”
“That is charitable, at all events.”
“Of course it is; and, now I think of it, charity is
26really the foundation of good society,” continued Mrs.
Trimm very sweetly.
“You mean a charitable silence, I suppose.”
“Not always silence. Saying kind words about people
you hate is charitable, too.”
“I should call it lying,” George observed.
Totty was shocked at such bluntness.
“That is far too strong language,” she answered, beginning
to look as she did in church.
“Gratuitous mendacity,” suggested her companion.
“Is the word ‘lie’ in the swearing dictionary?”
“Perhaps not—but after all, George,” continued
Mrs. Trimm with sudden fervour, “there are often very
nice things to be said quite truly about people we do not
like, and it is certainly charitable and magnanimous to
say them in spite of our personal feelings. One may
just as well leave out the disagreeable things.”
“Satan is a fallen angel. You hate him of course.
If he chanced to be in society you would leave out the
detail of the fall and say that Satan is an angel. Is that
it?”
“Approximately,” laughed Totty, who was less shocked
at the mention of the devil than at hearing tact called
lying. “I think you would succeed in society. By-the-bye,
there is another thing. You must never talk about
culture and books and such things, unless some celebrity
begins it. That is most important, you know. Of
course you would not like to feel that you were talking
of things which other people could not understand, would
you?”
“What should I talk about, then?”
“Oh—people, of course, and—and horses and things—yachting
and fashions and what people generally do.”
“But I know so few people,” objected George, “and
as for horses, I have not ridden since I was a boy, and I
never was on board of a yacht, and I do not care a straw
for the fashions.”
“Well, really, then I hardly know. Perhaps you had
27better not talk much until you have learned about
things.”
“Perhaps not. Perhaps I had better not try society
after all.”
“Oh, that is ridiculous!” exclaimed Mrs. Trimm, who
did not want to discourage her pupil. “Now, George,
be a good boy, and do not get such absurd notions into
your head. You are going to begin this very day.”
“Am I?” inquired the young man in a tone that
promised very little.
“Of course you are. And it will be easy, too, for the
Fearing girls are clever——”
“Does that mean that I may talk about something
besides horses, fashions, and yachting?”
“How dreadfully literal you are, George! I did not
mean precisely those things, only I could think of nothing
else just at that moment. I know, yes—you are
going to ask if I ever think of anything else. Well, I do
sometimes—there, now do be good and behave like a
sensible being. Here we are.”
They had reached a large, old-fashioned house in
Washington Square, which George had often noticed
without knowing who lived in it, and which had always
attracted him. He liked the quiet neighbourhood, so
near the busiest part of the city and yet so completely
separated from it, and he often went there alone to sit
upon one of the benches under the trees and think of all
that might have been even then happening to him if
things had not been precisely what they were. He stood
upon the door-step and rang the bell, wondering at the
unexpected turn his day had taken, and wondering what
manner of young women these orphan sisters might be,
with whom cousin Totty was so anxious to make him
acquainted. His curiosity on this head was soon satisfied.
In a few seconds he found himself in a sombrely-furnished
drawing-room, bowing before two young girls,
while Mrs. Trimm introduced him.
“Mr. Winton Wood—my cousin George, you know.
28You got my note? Yes—so sweet of you to be at home.
This is Miss Constance Fearing, and this is Miss Grace,
George. Thanks, no—we have just been having tea.
Yes—we walked. The weather is perfectly lovely, and
now tell me all about yourself, Conny dear!”
Thereupon Mrs. Sherrington Trimm took Miss Constance
Fearing beside her, held her hand affectionately,
and engaged in an animated conversation of smiles and
questions, leaving George to amuse the younger sister as
best he could.
At first sight there appeared to be a strong resemblance
between the two girls, which was much increased
by their both being dressed in black and in precisely the
same manner. They were very nearly of the same age,
Constance being barely twenty-two years old and her
sister just twenty, though Mrs. Trimm had said that both
had reached their majority. Both were tall, graceful
girls, well-proportioned in every way, easy in their bearing,
their heads well set upon their shoulders, altogether
well grown and well bred. But there was in reality a
marked difference between them. Constance was fairer
and more delicate than her younger sister, evidently less
self-reliant and probably less strong. Her eyes were
blue and quiet, and her hair had golden tinges not to be
found in Grace’s dark-brown locks. Her complexion
was more transparent, her even eyebrows less strongly
marked, her sensitive lips less firm. Of the two she was
evidently the more gentle and feminine. Grace’s voice
was deep and smooth, whereas Constance spoke in a
higher though a softer key. It was easy to see that
Constance would be the one more quickly moved by
womanly sympathies and passions, and that Grace, on
the contrary, would be at once more obstinate and more
sure of herself.
George was pleasantly impressed by both from the
first, and especially by the odd contrast between them
and their surroundings. The house was old-fashioned
within as well as without. It was clear that the girls’
29father and mother had been conservatives of the most
severe type. The furniture was dark, massive, and
imposing; the velvet carpet displayed in deeper shades
of claret, upon a claret-coloured ground, that old familiar
pattern formed by four curved scrolls which enclose as in
a lozenge an imposing nosegay of almost black roses.
Full-length portraits of the family adorned the walls,
and the fireplace was innocent of high art tiles, being
composed of three slabs of carved white marble, two
upright and one horizontal, in the midst of which a
black grate supported a coal fire. Moreover, as in all
old houses in New York, the front drawing-room communicated
with a second at the back of the first by great
polished mahogany folding-doors, which, being closed,
produce the impression that one-half of the room is a
huge press. There were stiff sofas set against the wall,
stiff corner bookcases filled with histories expensively
bound in dark tree calf, a stiff mahogany table under an
even stiffer chandelier of gilded metal; there were two
or three heavy easy-chairs, square, dark and polished
like everything else, and covered with red velvet of the
same colour as the carpet, each having before it a footstool
of the old style, curved and made of the same
materials as the chairs themselves. A few modern
books in their fresh, perishable bindings showed the
beginning of a new influence, together with half a dozen
magazines and papers, and a work-basket containing a
quantity of coloured embroidering silks.
George looked about him as he took his place beside
Grace Fearing, and noticed the greater part of the details
just described.
“Are you fond of horses, yachting, fashions, and
things people generally do, Miss Fearing?” he inquired.
“Not in the least,” answered Grace, fixing her dark
eyes upon him with a look of cold surprise.
CHAPTER III.
30
The stare of astonishment with which Grace Fearing
met George’s singular method of beginning a conversation
rather disconcerted him, although he had half expected
it. He had asked the question while still under
the impression of Totty’s absurd advice, unable any longer
to refrain from communicating his feelings to some one.
“You seem surprised,” he said. “I will explain. I
do not care a straw for any of those things myself, but
as we walked here my cousin was giving me a lecture
about conversation in society.”
“And she advised you to talk to us about horses?”
inquired Miss Grace, beginning to smile.
“No. Not to you. She gave me to understand that
you were both very clever, but she gave me a list of
things about which a man should talk in general society,
and I flatter myself that I have remembered the catalogue
pretty accurately.”
“Indeed you have!” This time Grace laughed.
“Yes. And now that we have eliminated horses,
yachts, and fashions, by mutual consent, shall we talk
about less important things?”
“Certainly. Where shall we begin?”
“With whatever you prefer. What do you like best
in the world?”
“My sister,” answered Grace promptly.
“That answers the question, ‘Whom do you like
best—?’”
“Very well, Mr. Wood, and whom do you like best?”
“Myself, of course. Everybody does, except people
who have sisters like yours.”
“Are you an egotist, then?”
“Not by intention, but by original sin, and by the
fault of fate which has omitted to give me a sister.”
“Have you no near relations?” Grace asked.
31“I have my father.”
“And you are not more fond of him than of yourself?”
“Is one not bound to believe one’s father, when he
speaks on mature reflection, and is a very good man
besides?”
“Yes—I suppose so.”
“Very well. My father says that I love myself better
than any one else. That is good evidence, for, as you
say, he must be right. How do you know that you love
your sister more than yourself?”
“I think I would sacrifice more for her than I would
for myself.”
“Then you must be subject to a natural indolence
which only affection for another can overcome.”
“I am not lazy,” objected Grace.
“Pardon me. What is a sacrifice, in the common
meaning of the word? Giving up something one likes.
To make a sacrifice for oneself means to give up something
one likes for the sake of one’s own advantage—for
instance, to give up sleeping too much, in order to
work more. Not to do so, is to be lazy. Laziness is a
vice. Therefore it is a vice not to sacrifice as much as
possible to one’s own advantage. Virtue is the opposite
of vice. Therefore selfishness is a virtue.”
“What dreadful sophistry!”
“You cannot escape the conclusion that one ought to
love oneself at least quite as much as any one else, since
to be unwilling to take as much trouble for one’s own
advantage as one takes for that of other people is manifestly
an acute form of indolence, and is therefore vicious
and a cardinal sin.”
“Selfishness is certainly a deadly virtue,” retorted
Grace.
“Can that be called deadly which provides a man with
a living?” asked George.
“That is all sophistry—sophistical chaff, and nothing
else.”
“The original sophists made a very good living,”
32objected George. “Is it not better to get a living as a
sophist than to starve?”
“Do you make a living by it, Mr. Wood?”
“No. I am not a lawyer, and times have changed
since Gorgias.”
“I may as well tell you,” said Grace, “that Mrs.
Trimm has calumniated me. I am not clever, and I
do not know who Gorgias was.”
“I beg your pardon for mentioning him. I only
wanted to show off my culture. He is of no importance——”
“Yes he is. Since you have spoken of him, tell me
who he was.”
“A sophist, and one of the first of them. He published
a book to prove that Helen of Troy was an angel
of virtue, he fattened on the proceeds of his talking and
writing, till he was a hundred years old, and then he
died. The thing will not do now. Several people have
lately defended Lucretia Borgia, without fattening to
any great extent. That is the reason I would like to be
a lawyer. Lawyers defend living clients and are well
paid for it. Look at Sherry Trimm, my cousin’s husband.
Do you know him?”
“Yes.”
“He is fat and well-liking. And Johnny Bond—do
you know him too?”
“Of course,” answered Grace, with an almost imperceptible
frown. “He is to be Mr. Trimm’s partner soon.”
“Well, when he is forty, he will be as sleek and round
as Sherry Trimm himself.”
“Will he?” asked the young girl with some coldness.
“Probably, since he will be rich and happy. Moral
and physical rotundity is the natural attribute of all rich
and happy persons. It would be a pity if Johnny grew
very fat, he is such a handsome fellow.”
“I suppose it could not be helped,” said Grace, indifferently.
“What do you mean by moral rotundity, Mr.
Wood?”
33“Inward and spiritual grace to be always right.”
At this point Totty, who had said all she had to say
to Constance, and was now only anxious to say it all
over again to Grace, made a movement and nodded to
her cousin.
“Come, George,” she said, “take my place, and I will
take yours.”
George rose with considerable reluctance and crossed
the room. There was something in Grace Fearing’s
manner which gave him courage in conversation, and he
had felt at his ease with her. Now, however, the ice must
be broken afresh with the other sister. Unlike Mrs.
Trimm, he did not want to repeat himself, and he was
somewhat embarrassed as to how he should begin in a
new strain. To his surprise, however, his new companion
relieved him of any responsibility in this direction.
While listening as much as was necessary to Totty’s
rambling talk, she had been watching the young man’s
face from a distance. Her sympathetic nature made her
more observant than her sister, and she spent much time
in speculating upon other people’s thoughts. George
interested her from the first. There was something
about him, of which he himself was wholly unconscious,
which distinguished him from ordinary men, and which
it was hard to define. Few people would have called
him handsome, though no one could have said that he
was ugly. His head was strongly modelled, with prominent
brows, and great hollows in the temples. The
nose was straight, but rather too long, as is generally
the case with melancholy people; and the thin, dark
moustache did not conceal the scornful expression of the
mouth. The chin would have been the better for a little
more weight and prominence, and the whole face might
have been more attractive had it been less dark and thin.
As for the rest, the man was tall and well built, though
somewhat too lean and angular, and he carried himself
well, whether in motion or repose. He was evidently
melancholic, nervous, and impressionable, as might be
34seen from his brown and sinewy hands, of which the
smooth and pointed fingers contrasted oddly with the
strength of the lower part. But the most minute
description of George Wood’s physical characteristics
would convey no such impression as he produced upon
those who first saw him. He was discontented with
himself as well as with his surroundings, and his temper
was clouded by perpetual disappointment. Sometimes
dull and apathetic, there were moments when a vicious
energy gleamed in his dark eyes, and when he looked
like what fighting men call an ugly customer. Mirth
was never natural to him, and when he laughed aloud
there was scarcely the semblance of a smile upon his
features. Yet he had a keen sense of humour, and a
facility for exhibiting the ridiculous side of things to
others.
“What do you do, Mr. Wood?” asked Constance
Fearing, when he was seated beside her.
“Nothing—and not even that gracefully.”
Constance did not laugh as she looked at him, for
there was something at once earnest and bitter in the
way he spoke.
“Why do you do nothing?” she asked. “Everybody
works nowadays. You do not look like a professed idler.
I suppose you mean that you are studying for a profession.”
“Not exactly. I believe my studies are said to be
finished. I sometimes write a little.”
“Is that all? Do you never publish anything?”
“Oh yes; countless things.”
“Really? I am afraid I cannot remember seeing——”
“My name in print? No. There is but one copy of
my published works, and that is in my possession. The
pages present an irregular appearance and smell of paste.
You do not understand? My valuable performances are
occasionally printed in one of the daily papers. I cut
them out, when I am not too lazy, and keep them in a
scrap-book.”
35“Then you are a journalist?”
“Not from the journalist’s point of view. He calls
me a paid contributor; and when I am worse paid than
usual, I call him by worse names.”
“I do not understand—if you can be what you call a
paid contributor, why not be a journalist? What is the
difference?”
“The one is a professional, the other is an amateur.
I am the other.”
“Why not be a professional, then?”
“Because I do not like the profession.”
“What would you like to be? Surely you must have
some ambition.”
“None whatever, I assure you.” There was an odd
look in George’s eyes, not altogether in accordance with
his answer. “I should prefer to live a student’s life,
since I must live a life of some kind. I should like to
be always my own master—if you would give me my
choice, there are plenty of things I should like. But I
cannot have them.”
“Most of us are in that condition,” said Constance,
rather thoughtfully.
“Are we? Is there anything in the world that you
want and cannot have?”
“Yes. Many things.”
“No, I mean concrete things,” George insisted. “Of
course I know that you have the correct number of moral
and intellectual aspirations. You would like to be a
heroine, a saint, and the managing partner of a great
charity; you would like to be a scholar, historian, a
novelist, and you would certainly like to be a great
poetess. You would probably like to lead the fashion
in some particular way, for I must allow you a little
vanity with so much virtue, but on Sundays, in church,
you would like to forget that there are such things as
fashions. Of course you would. But all that is not
what I mean. When I speak of wants, I mean wants
connected with real life. Have you not everything you
36desire, or could you not have everything? If you do not
like New York, can you not go and live in Siberia? If
you do not like your house, can you not turn it inside
out and upside down and trim it with green parakeet’s
wings, if you please? If you have wants, they are
moral and intellectual.”
“But all the things you speak of merely depend upon
money,” said Constance a little shyly. “They are
merely material wants—or rather, according to your
description, caprices.”
“I do not call my desire to lead the unmolested life of
a student either a caprice or a material want, but the
accomplishment of my wish depends largely upon money
and very little upon anything else.”
Constance looked furtively at her companion, who sat
beside her with folded hands, apparently contemplating
his shoes. He had spoken very quietly, but his tone
was that of the most profound contempt, whether for
himself, or for the wealth he was weak enough to desire,
it was impossible to say. Constance felt that she was in
the presence of a nature she did not understand, though
she was to some extent interested and attracted by it.
It is very hard for people who possess everything that
money can give, and have always possessed it, to comprehend
the effect of poverty upon a sensitive person.
Constance, indeed, had no exact idea of George Wood’s
financial position. He might be really poor, for all she
knew, or he might be only relatively impecunious. She
inclined to the latter theory, partly because he had not
the indescribable look which is supposed to belong to a
poor man, and partly on account of his readiness to
speak of what he wanted. A person of less keen intuitions
would probably have been repelled by what might
have been taken for vulgar discontent and covetousness.
But Constance Fearing’s inceptions were more delicate.
She felt instinctively that George was not what he represented
himself to be, that he was neither weak, selfish,
nor idle, and that those who believed him to be so would
37before long find themselves mistaken. She made no
answer to his last words, however, and there was silence
for a few moments.
Then George began to speak of her return to New
York, and fell into a very commonplace kind of conversation,
which he sustained with an effort, and with a
certain sensation of awkwardness. Presently Totty, who
had finished the second edition of her small talk, rose
from her seat and began the long operation of leave-taking,
which was performed with all the usual repetitions,
effusive phrases, and affectionalities, if such a
word may be coined, which are considered appropriate
and indispensable. As a canary bird pecks at a cherry,
chirps, skips away, hops back, pecks, chirps, and skips
again and again many times, so do certain women say
good-bye to the dear friends they visit. Meanwhile
George stood at hand, holding his hat and ready to go.
“I hope we shall see you again,” said Constance as
she gave him her hand.
“May I come?” he asked.
“Of course. We are generally at home about this
time.”
At last Totty tore herself away, and the ponderous
front door closed behind her and her cousin as they came
out into the purple light that flooded Washington Square.
“Well, George, I hope you were properly impressed,”
said Mrs. Sherrington Trimm, when they had walked a
few steps and were near the corner of the avenue.
“Profoundly.”
“In what way? Come, be confidential.”
“In what way? Why, I think that the father and
mother of those girls must have been very rich, very
dull, and very respectable. I never saw anything like
the solidity of the furniture.”
Totty was never quite sure whether George was in
earnest or was laughing at her.
“Did you spend your time in looking at the chairs?”
she asked rather petulantly.
38“Partly. I could not help seeing them. I believe I
talked a little.”
“I hope you were sensible. What did you talk about?
I do not think the Fearing girls would thoroughly appreciate
the style of wit with which you generally favour
me.”
“You need not be cross, cousin Totty. I believe I was
decently agreeable.”
“Oh!” ejaculated Mrs. Trimm.
“You think I flatter myself, do you? I daresay. The
opinion of the young ladies would be more valuable than
my own. At all events my conscience does not reproach
me with having been more dull than usual, and as for the
furniture, you will admit that it was very impressive.”
“Well,” sighed Totty, “I suppose that is your way of
looking at things.” She did not know exactly what she
wanted him to say, but she was sure that he had not said
it, and that his manner was most unsatisfactory. They
walked on in silence.
“I am tired,” she said, at last, as they reached the
corner of the Brevoort House. “I will go home in a cab.
Good-bye.”
George opened the door of one of the numerous
broughams stationed before the hotel, and helped his
cousin to get in. She nodded rather indifferently to him,
as she was driven away, and left him somewhat at a loss
to account for her sudden ill temper. Under any ordinary
circumstances she would assuredly have bid him
enter the carriage with her and drive as far as her house,
in order to save him a part of the long distance to his own
home. The young man stood still for a moment and then
turned into Clinton Place, walking rapidly in the direction
of the elevated road.
He had spoken quite truly when he had said that the
visit he had just made had produced a profound impression
on him, and it was in accordance with his character
to keep that impression to himself. It was not that he
felt himself attracted by either one of the sisters more
39than by the other. He had not fallen in love at first sight,
nor lost his heart to a vision of beatitude that had only
just received a name. But as he walked he saw constantly
before him the two graceful young girls in their
simple black dresses, full of the freshness and beauty of
early youth and contrasting so strongly with their old-fashioned
surroundings. That was all, but the picture
stirred in him that restless, disquieting longing for something
undefined, for a logical continuation of the two lives
he had thus glanced upon, which belongs to persons of
unusual imagination, and which, sooner or later, drives
them to the writing of books as to the only possible satisfaction
of an intimate and essential want.
There are people who, when they hear any unusual
story of real life, exclaim, “What a novel that would
make!” They are not the people who write good fiction.
Most of them have never tried it, for, if they had, they
would know that novels are not made by expanding into
a volume or volumes the account of circumstances which
have actually occurred. True stories very rarely have a
conclusion at all, and the necessity for a conclusion is the
first thing felt by the born novelist. He dwells upon the
memory of people he has seen, only for the sake of imagining
a sequel and end to their lives. Before he has
discovered that he must write books to satisfy himself,
he does not understand the meaning of the moods to
which he is subject. He is in a room full of people, perhaps,
and listening to a conversation. Suddenly a word
or a passing face arrests his attention. He loses the
thread of the talk, and his thoughts fly off at a tangent
with intense activity. As before the sight of a drowning
man, the panorama of a life is unfolded to him in an instant,
full of minute details, all distinct and clear. His
lips move, repeating fragments of imaginary conversations.
His eyes fix themselves, while he sees in his brain
sights other than those around him. His heart beats fast,
then slowly, in a strange variety of emotions. Then
comes the awakening voice of the persecutor. “A penny
40for your thoughts, Mr. Tompkins,” or, “My dear Tompkins,
if you do not care to listen to me,” etc. The young
man is covered with confusion and apologises for his
absence of mind, while still inwardly attempting to fix
in his memory the fleeting visions of which he has just
enjoyed such a delicious glimpse.
Fortunately for George Wood, there was no one to disturb
his meditations as he strode along the quiet street,
ascended the iron steps and mechanically paid his fare
before passing through the wicket gate. Nor did the
vivid recollection of Constance and Grace Fearing abandon
him as the snake-like train came puffing up and
stopped before his eyes; still less, when he had taken his
seat, and was being carried away up-town in the direction
of his home.
He lived with his father in the small house which the
latter still owned, and in which, by dint of rigid economy
the two succeeded in leading a decently comfortable existence,
so far as their material lives were concerned. A
more complete contrast to the residence in Washington
Square, where George had just been spending half an hour,
could hardly be imagined. The dwelling of the Woods
was one of those conventional little buildings which
abound in the great American cities, having a front of
about sixteen feet, being three stories high, and having
two rooms on each floor, one looking upon the street and
one upon a small yard at the back. Within, everything
was of the simplest description. There was no attempt
at anything in the nature of luxury or embellishment.
The well-swept carpets were threadbare, the carefully-dusted
furniture was of the plainest kind, the smooth,
tinted walls were innocent of decoration and unadorned
with pictures. There were few books to be seen, except
in George’s own room, which presented a contrast to the
rest of the house, inasmuch as there reigned in it that
sort of disorder which seemed the most real order in the
opinion of its occupant. A huge deal table took up fully
a quarter of the available space, and deal shelves full of
41books both old and new lined the walls, indeed almost
everything was of deal, from the uncarpeted floor to the
chairs. A pile of new volumes in bright bindings stood
on a corner of the table, which was littered with printed
papers, sheets of manuscript, galley proofs, and cuttings
from newspapers. A well-worn penholder lay across a
half-written page, and the red cork of a bottle of stylo-graphic
ink projected out of the confusion.
George entered this sanctum, and before doing anything
else proceeded to divest himself of the clothes he wore, putting
on rusty garments that seemed to belong to different
epochs. Then he went to the window with something like
a sigh of relief. The view was not inspiring, but the
familiarity of it doubtless evoked in his mind trains of
thought that were pleasant. There was the narrow brickyard
with its Chinese puzzle of crossing and recrossing
clothes’ lines. Then a brick wall beyond which he could
see at a considerable distance the second and third rows
of windows of a large house. Above, a row of French
roofs and then the winter sky, red with the last rays of
the sun. George did not remain long in contemplation
of this prospect; a glance was apparently enough to restore
the disturbed balance of his mind. As he turned
away and busied himself with lighting a green glass kerosene
lamp, the vision of Constance and Grace Fearing
dissolved, and gave place to more practical considerations.
He sat down and laid hold of the uppermost volume from
the pile of new books, instinctively feeling for his paper-cutter
with the other hand, among the disorderly litter
beside him.
After cutting a score of pages, he began to look for the
editor’s letter. The volumes had been sent him for
review, and were accompanied by the usual note, stating
with appalling cynicism the number of words he was
expected to write as criticism of each production.
“About a hundred words a-piece,” wrote the literary
editor, “and please return the books with the notices on
Monday at twelve o’clock, at the latest.”
42It was Thursday to-day, and there were six volumes
to be read, digested, and written about. George made a
short calculation. He must do two each day, on Friday,
Saturday, and Sunday, in order to leave himself Monday
morning as a margin in case of accidents. Six
books, six hundred words, or rather more than half a
column of the paper for which he wrote. That meant
five dollars, for the work was well paid, as being supposed
to require some judgment and taste on the part of
the writer. There was of course nothing of much importance
in the heap of gaily-bound printed matter, nothing
to justify a serious article, and nothing which George
would care to read twice. Nevertheless the exigencies
of the book trade must be satisfied, and notices must
appear, and editors must find persons willing and able
to write such notices at prices varying from fifty cents
to a dollar a-piece. Nor was there any difficulty about
this. George knew that the pay was very good as times
went, and that there were dozens of starving old maids
and hungry boys who would do the work for less, and
would perhaps do it as well as he could. Nor was he
inclined to quarrel with the conditions which allowed
him so short a time for the accomplishment of such a
task. He had worked at second class reviewing for some
time, and was long past the period of surprises. On the
contrary, he looked upon the batch of publications with
considerable satisfaction. The regularity with which
such parcels had arrived during the last few months was
a proof that he was doing well, and it seemed probable
that in the course of the coming year he might be
entrusted with more important work. Once or twice
already, he had been instructed to write a column, and
those were white days in his recollections. He felt that
with a permanent engagement to produce a column a
week he should be doing very well, but he knew how
hard that was to obtain. No one who has not earned his
bread by this kind of labour can have any idea of the
crowd that hangs upon the outskirts of professional
journalism, a crowd not seeking to enter the ranks of
43the regular newspaper men, but hoping to pick up the
crumbs that fall from the table which appears to them
so abundantly loaded. To be a professional journalist
in America a man must in nine cases out of ten begin as
a reporter. He must possess other qualifications besides
those of the literary man. He must have a good knowledge
of shorthand writing and a knack for the popular
style. He must have an iron constitution and untiring
nerves. He must be able to sit in a crowded room under
the glaring gaslight and write out his impressions at an
hour when ordinary people are in bed and asleep. He
must possess that brazen assurance which sensitive men
of taste rarely have, for he will be called upon to interview
all sorts and conditions of men when they least
expect it and generally when they least like it. He
must have a keen instinct for business in order to outwit
and outrun his competitors in the pursuit of news. Ever
on the alert, he must not dwell upon the recollections of
yesterday lest they twine themselves into the reports
of to-day. Altogether, the commencing journalist must
be a remarkable being, and most remarkable for a set
of qualities which are not only useless to the writer of
books, but which, if the latter possessed them, would
notably hinder his success. There is no such thing as
amateur journalism possible within the precincts of a
great newspaper’s offices, whereas the outer doors are
besieged by amateurs of every known and unknown
description.
In the critical and literary departments, the dilettante
is the cruel enemy of those who are driven to write for
bread, but who lack either the taste, the qualifications,
or the opportunities which might give them a seat
within, among the reporters’ desks! Cruellest of all in
the eyes of the poor scribbler is the well-to-do man of
leisure and culture who is personally acquainted with
the chief editor, and writes occasional criticisms, often
the most important, for nothing. Then there is the
young woman who has been to college, who lacks nothing,
but is ever ready to write for money, which she
44devotes to charitable purposes, thereby depriving some
unfortunate youth of the dollar a day which means food
to him, for whose support the public is not already taxed.
But she knows nothing about him, and it amuses her to
be connected with the press, and to have the importance
of exchanging a word with the editor if she meets him
in the society she frequents. The young man goes on
the accustomed day for the new books. “I have nothing
for you this week, Mr. Tompkins,” says the manager of
the literary department as politely as possible. The
books are gone to the Vassar girl or to the rich idler,
and poor Tompkins must not hope to earn his daily dollar
again till seven or eight days have passed. His only
consolation is that the dawdling dilettante can never get
all the work, because he or she cannot write fast enough
to supply the demand. Without the spur of necessity
it is impossible to read and review two volumes a day
for any length of time. It is hard to combine justice to
an author with the necessity for rushing through his book
at a hundred pages an hour. It is indeed important to
cut every leaf, lest the aforesaid literary manager should
accuse poor little Mr. Tompkins of carelessness and
superficiality in his judgment; but it is quite impossible
that Tompkins should read every word of the children’s
story-book, of the volume of second class sermons, of the
collection of fifth rate poetry, and of the harrowing tale
of city life, entitled The Bucket of Blood, or The Washerwoman’s
Revenge, all of which have come at once and are
simultaneously submitted to his authoritative criticism.
George Wood cut through thirty pages of the volume
he held in his hand, then went to the end and cut backwards,
then returned to the place he had reached the
first time, and cut through the middle of the book. It
was his invariable system, and he found that it succeeded
very well.
“It is not well done,” he said to himself, quoting
Johnson, “but one is surprised to see it done at all.
What can you expect for fifty cents?”
CHAPTER IV.
45
Many days passed before George thought of renewing
his visit to Washington Square, and during that time he
was not even tempted to go and see Mrs. Trimm. If the
truth were to be told it might appear that the vision of
the two young girls, which had kept George in company
as he returned to his home, did not present itself again
for a long time with any especial vividness. Possibly
the surroundings and occupations in the midst of which
he lived were not of a nature to stir his memories easily;
possibly, too, and more probably, the first impression
had lacked strength to fascinate his imagination for more
than half an hour. The habit of reading a book, writing
twenty lines of print about it and throwing it aside,
never to be taken up again, may have its consequences
in daily life. Though quite unconscious of taking such
a superficial view of so serious a matter, George’s mind
treated the Misses Fearing very much as it would have
treated a book that had been sent in for notice, dealt
with and seen no more. Now and then, when he was
not at work, and was even less interested than usual in
his father’s snatches of conversation, he was conscious
of remembering his introduction to the two young ladies,
and strange to say there was something humorous in the
recollection. Totty’s business-like mode of procedure
amused him, and what seemed to him her absurd assumption
of a wild improbability. The ludicrous idea of the
whole affair entertained his fancy for a few seconds
before it slipped away again. He could not tell exactly
where the source of his mirth was situated in the chain
of ideas, but he almost smiled at the thought of the
enormous, stiff easy-chairs, and of the bookcase in the
corner, loaded to the highest shelf with histories bound
in tree calf and gold. He remembered, too, the look of
disappointment in Totty’s eyes when he had alluded to
46the respectability of the furniture, as they walked up
Fifth Avenue.
Those thoughts did not altogether vanish without suggesting
to George’s inner sight the outlines of the girls’
faces, and at the same time he had a faint memory of
the sounds of their voices. It would not displease him
to see and hear both again, but, on the other hand, a
visit in the afternoon was an undertaking of some importance,
a fact which cannot be realised by people who
have spent their lives in society, and who go to see each
other as a natural pastime, just as the solitary man takes
up a book, or as the sailor who has nothing to do knots
and splices odds and ends of rope. It is not only that
the material preparations are irksome, and that it is
a distinctly troublesome affair for the young literary
drudge to make himself outwardly presentable; there is
also the tiresome necessity of smoothing out the weary
brain so that it may be capable of appreciating a set of
unfamiliar impressions in which it anticipates no relaxation.
Add to all this the leaven of shyness which so
often belongs to young and sensitive natures, and the
slight exertion necessary in such a case swells and rises
till it seems to be an insurmountable barrier.
A day came, however, when George had nothing to do.
It would be more accurate to say that on a particular
afternoon, having finished one piece of work to his satisfaction,
he did not feel inclined to begin another; for,
among the many consequences of entering upon a literary
life is the losing for ever of the feeling that at any
moment there is nothing to be done. Let a writer work
until his brain reels and his fingers can no longer hold
the pen, he will nevertheless find it impossible to rest
without imagining that he is being idle. He cannot
escape from the devil that drives him, because he is
himself the driver and the driven, the fiend and his
victim, the torturer and the tortured. Let physicians
rail at the horrible consequences of drink, of excessive
smoking, of opium, of chloral, and of morphine—the
47most terrible of all stimulants is ink, the hardest of
taskmasters, the most fascinating of enchanters, the
breeder of the sweetest dreams and of the most appalling
nightmares, the most insinuating of poisons, the surest
of destroyers. One may truly venture to say that of an
equal number of opium-eaters and professional writers,
the opium-eaters have the best of it in the matter of long
life, health, and peace of mind. We all hear of the
miserable end of the poor wretch who has subsisted for
years upon stimulants or narcotics, and whose death,
often at an advanced age, is held up as a warning to
youth; but who ever knows or speaks of the countless
deaths due solely to the overuse of pen, ink, and paper?
Who catalogues the names of those many whose brains
give way before their bodies are worn out? Who counts
the suicides brought about by failure, the cases of men
starving because they would rather write bad English
than do good work of any other sort? In proportion to
the whole literary profession of the modern world the
deaths alone, without counting other accidents, are more
numerous than those caused by alcohol among drinkers,
by nicotine among smokers, and by morphine and like
drugs among those who use them. For one man who
succeeds in literature, a thousand fail, and a hundred,
who have looked upon the ink when it was black and
cannot be warned from it, and whose nostrils have
smelled the printer’s sacrifice, are ruined for all usefulness
and go drifting and struggling down the stream of
failure till death or madness puts an end to their
sufferings. And yet no one ventures to call writing a
destroying vice, nor to condemn poor scribblers as “ink-drunkards”.
George walked the whole distance from his house to
Washington Square. He had not been in that part of
the city since he had come with his cousin to make his
first visit, but as he drew near to his destination he
began to regret that he had allowed more than a fortnight
to pass without making any attempt to see his new
48acquaintances. On reaching the house he found that
Constance Fearing was at home. He was sorry not to
see the younger sister, with whom he had found conversation
more easy and sympathetic. On the other hand,
the atmosphere of the house seemed less stiff and formal
than on the first occasion; the disposition of the heavy
furniture had been changed, there were flowers in the
old-fashioned vases, and there were more books and small
objects scattered upon the tables.
“I was afraid you were never coming again!” exclaimed
the young girl, holding out her hand.
There was something simple and frank about her
manner which put George at his ease.
“You are very kind,” he answered, “I was afraid that
even to-day might be too soon. But Sherry Trimm says
that when he is in doubt he plays trumps—and so I
came.”
“Not at all too soon,” suggested Constance.
“The calculation is very simple. A visit once a fortnight
would make twenty-six visits a year with a fraction
more in leap year, would it not? Does not that appal you?”
“I have not a mathematical mind, and I do not look
so far ahead. Besides, if we are away for six months in
the summer, you would not make so many.”
“I forgot that everybody does not stay in town the
whole year. I suppose you will go abroad again?”
“Not this year,” answered Miss Fearing rather sadly.
George glanced at her face and then looked quickly
away. He understood her tone, and it seemed natural
enough that the fresh recollection of her mother’s death
should for some time prevent both the sisters from
returning to Europe. He could not help wondering how
much real sorrow lay behind the young girl’s sadness,
though he was somewhat astonished to find himself
engaged in such an odd psychological calculation. He
did not readily believe evil of any one, and yet he found
it hard to believe much absolute good. Possibly he may
have inherited something of this un-trustfulness from his
49father, and there was a side in his own character which
abhorred it. For a few moments there was silence
between the two. George sitting in his upright chair
and bending forward, gazing stupidly at his own hands
clasped upon his knee, while Constance Fearing leaned
far back in her deep easy-chair watching his dark profile
against the bright light of the window.
“Do you like people, Miss Fearing?” George asked
rather suddenly.
“How do you mean?”
“I mean, is your first impulse, about people you meet
for the first time, to trust them, or not?”
“That is not an easy question to answer. I do not
think I have thought much about it. What is your own
impulse?”
“You are distrustful,” said George in a tone of conviction.
“Why?”
“Because you answer a question by a question.”
“Is that a sign? How careful one should be! No—I
will try to answer fairly. I think I am unprejudiced,
but I like to look at people’s faces before I make up my
mind about them.”
“And when you have decided, do you change easily?
Have you not a decided first impression to which you
come back in spite of your judgment, and in spite of
yourself?”
“I do not know. I fancy not. I think I would rather
not have anything of the kind. Why do you ask?”
“Out of curiosity. I am not ashamed of being curious.
Have you ever tried to think what the world would be
like if nobody asked questions?”
“It would be a very quiet place.”
“We should all be asleep. Curiosity is only the waking
state of the mind. We are all asking questions, all
the time, either of ourselves, of our friends, or of our
books. Nine-tenths of them are never answered, but
that does not prevent us from asking more.”
50“Or from repeating the same ones—to ourselves,”
said Constance.
“Yes; the most interesting ones,”
“What is most interesting?”
“Always that which we hope the most and the least
expect to have,” George answered. “We are talking
psychology or something very like it,” he added with a
dry laugh.
“Is there any reason why we should not?” asked his
companion. “Why do you laugh, Mr. Wood? Your
laugh does not sound very heartfelt either.” She fixed
her clear blue eyes on him for a moment.
“One rarely does well what one has not practised
before an audience,” he answered. “As you suggest,
there is no reason why we should not talk psychology—if
we know enough about it—that is to say, if you do,
for I am sure I do not. There is no subject on which it
is so easy to make smart remarks.”
“Excepting our neighbour,” observed Constance.
“I have no neighbours. Who is my neighbour?”
asked George rather viciously.
“I think there is a biblical answer to that question.”
“But I do not live in biblical times; and I suppose
my scratches are too insignificant to attract the attention
of any passing Samaritan.”
“Perhaps you have none at all.”
“Perhaps not. I suppose our neighbours are ‘them
that we love that love us,’ so the old toast says. Are
they not?”
“And those whom we ought to love, I fancy,” suggested
Constance.
“But we ought to love our enemies. What a neighbourly
world it is, and how full of love it should be!”
“Fortunately, love is a vague word.”
“Have you never tried to define it?” asked the young
man.
“I am not clever enough for that. Perhaps you could.”
George looked quickly at the young girl. He was not
51prepared to believe that she made the suggestion out of
coquetry, but he was not old enough to understand that
such a remark might have escaped from her lips without
the slightest intention.
“I rather think that definition ends when love begins,”
he said, after a moment’s pause. “All love is experimental,
and definition is generally the result of many
experiments.”
“Experimental?”
“Yes. Do you not know many cases in which people
have tried the experiment and have failed? It is no
less an experiment if it happens to succeed. Affection
is a matter of fact, but love is a matter of speculation.”
“I should not think that experimental love would be
worth much,” said Constance, with a shade of embarrassment.
A very faint colour rose in her cheeks as she
spoke.
“One should have tried it before one should judge. Or
else, one should begin at the other extremity and work
backwards from hate to love, through the circle of one’s
acquaintances.”
“Why are you always alluding to hating people?”
asked the young girl, turning her eyes upon him with a
look of gentle, surprised protest. “Is it for the sake of
seeming cynical, or for the sake of making paradoxes?
It is not really possible that you should hate every one,
you know.”
“With a few brilliant exceptions, you are quite right,”
George answered. “But I was hoping to discover that
you hated some one, for the sake of observing your
symptoms. You look so very good.”
It would have been hard to say that the expression of
his face had changed, but as he made the last remark
the lines that naturally gave his mouth a scornful look
were unusually apparent. The colour appeared again in
Constance’s cheeks, a little brighter than before, and
her eyes glistened as she looked away from her visitor.
“I think you might find that appearances are deceptive,
if you go on,” she said.
52“Should I?” asked George quietly, his features relaxing
in a singularly attractive smile which was rarely
seen upon his face. He was conscious of a thrill of
intense satisfaction at the manifestation of the young
girl’s sensitiveness, a satisfaction which he could not
then explain, but which was in reality highly artistic.
The sensation could only be compared to that produced
in an appreciative ear by a new and perfectly harmonious
modulation sounded upon a very beautiful instrument.
“I wonder,” he resumed presently, “what form the
opposite of goodness would take in you. Are you ever
very angry? Perhaps it is rude to ask such questions.
Is it?”
“I do not know. No one was ever rude to me,” Constance
answered calmly. “But I have been angry—since
you ask—I often am, about little things.”
“And are you very fierce and terrible on those occasions?”
“Very terrible indeed,” laughed the young girl. “I
should frighten you if you were to see me.”
“I can well believe that. I am of a timid disposition.”
“Are you? You do not look like it. I shall ask Mrs.
Trimm if it is true. By-the-bye, have you seen her to-day?”
“Not since we were here together.”
“I thought you saw her very often. I had a note from
her yesterday. I suppose you know?”
“I know nothing. What is it?”
“Old Mr. Craik is very ill—dying, they say. She
wrote to tell me so, explaining why she had not been
here.”
George’s eyes suddenly gleamed with a disagreeable
light. The news was as unexpected as it was agreeable.
Not, indeed, that George could ever hope to profit in any
way by the old man’s death; for he was naturally so
generous that, if such a prospect had existed, he would
have been the last to rejoice in its realisation. He hated
Thomas Craik with an honest and disinterested hatred,
53and the idea the world was to be rid of him at last was
inexpressibly delightful.
“He is dying, is he?” he asked in a constrained voice.
“You seem glad to hear it,” said Constance, looking at
him with some curiosity.
“I? Yes—well, I am not exactly sorry!” His laugh
was harsh and unreal. “You could hardly expect me to
shed tears—that is, if you know anything of my father’s
misfortunes.”
“Yes, I have heard something. But I am sorry that I
was the person to give you the news.”
“Why? I am grateful to you.”
“I know you are, and that is precisely what I do not
like. I do not expect you to be grieved, but I do not like
to see one man so elated over the news of another man’s
danger.”
“Why not say, his death!” exclaimed George.
Constance was silent for a moment, and then looked
at him as she spoke.
“I hardly know you, Mr. Wood. This is only the
second time I have seen you, and I have no right to make
remarks about your character. But I cannot help thinking—that——”
She hesitated, not as though from any embarrassment,
but as if she could not find the words she wanted. George
made no attempt to help her, though he knew perfectly
well what she wanted to say. He waited coldly to see
whether she could complete her sentence.
“You ought not to think such things,” she said suddenly,
“and if you do, you ought not to show it.”
“In other words, you wish me to reform either my
character or my manners, or both? Do you know that old
Tom Craik ruined my father? Do you know that after
he had done that, he let my father’s reputation suffer,
though my father was as honest as the daylight, and he
himself was the thief? That sounds very dramatic and
theatrical, does it not? It is all very true nevertheless.
And yet, you expect me to be such a clever actor as not
54to show my satisfaction at your news. All I can say,
Miss Fearing, is that you expect a great deal of human
nature, and that I am very sorry to be the particular individual
who is fated to disappoint your expectations.”
“Of course you feel strongly about it—I did not
know all you have just told me, or I would not have
spoken. I wish every one could forgive—it is so right
to forgive.”
“Yes—undoubtedly,” assented George. “Begin by
forgiving me, please, and then tell me what is the matter
with the worthy Mr. Craik.”
“Mrs. Trimm seems to think it is nervous prostration—what
everybody has nowadays.”
“Is she very much cut up?” George asked with an air
of concern.
“She writes that she does not leave him.”
“Nor will—until——” George stopped short.
“What were you going to say?”
“I was going to make a remark about the human will
in general and about the wills of dying men in particular.
It was very ill-natured, and in direct contradiction to your
orders.”
“I suppose she will have all his fortune in any case,”
observed Constance, repressing a smile, as though she felt
that it would not suit the tone she had taken before.
“Since you make so worldly an inquiry, I presume we
may take it for granted that the mantle of Mr. Craik’s
filthy lucre will descend upon the unwilling shoulders
of Mrs. Sherrington Trimm. To be plain, Totty will get
the dollars. Well—I wish her joy. She is not acquainted
with poverty, as it is, nor was destitution ever
her familiar friend.”
“Why do you affect that biblical sort of language?”
“It seems to me more forcible than swearing. Besides,
you would not let me swear, I am sure, even if I wanted
to.”
“Certainly not——”
“Very well, then you must forgive the imperfections
55of my style in consideration of my not doing very much
worse. I think I will go and ask how Mr. Craik is doing
to-day. Would not that show a proper spirit of charity
and forgiveness?”
“I hope you will do nothing of the sort!” exclaimed
Constance hastily.
“Would it not be a proof that I had profited by your
instruction?”
“I think it would be very hypocritical, and not at all
nice.”
“Do you? It seems to me that it would only look
civil——”
“From what you told me, civility can hardly be expected
from you in this case.”
“I am not obliged to tell the servant at the door the
motive of my curiosity when I inquire after the health
of a dying relation. That would be asking too much.”
“You can inquire just as well at Mrs. Trimm’s——”
“Mr. Craik’s house is on my way home from here—Totty’s
is not on the direct line.”
“I hope you—how absurd of me, though! It is no
business of mine.”
George could not say anything in reply to this statement,
but an expression of amusement came over his
face, which did not escape his companion. Constance
laughed a little nervously.
“You are obliged to admit that it is none of my business,
you see,” she said.
“I am in the position of a man who cannot assent
without being rude, nor differ without impugning the
known truth.”
“That was very well done, Mr. Wood,” said Constance.
“I have nothing more to say.”
“To me? Then I herewith most humbly take my
leave.” George rose from his seat.
“I did not mean that!” exclaimed the young girl with
a smile. “Do not go——”
“It is growing late, and Mr. Craik may be gathered to
56his fathers before I can ring at his door and ask how he
is.”
“Oh, please do not talk any more about that poor
man!”
“If I stay here I shall. May I come again some day,
Miss Fearing? You bear me no malice for being afflicted
with so much original sin?”
“Its originality almost makes it pardonable. Come
whenever you please. We shall always be glad to see
you, and I hope that my sister will be here the next
time.”
George vaguely hoped that she would not as he bowed
and left the room. He had enjoyed the visit far more
than Constance had, for whereas his conversation had
somewhat disquieted her sensitive feeling of fitness, hers
had afforded him a series of novel and delightful sensations.
He was conscious of a new interest, of a new
train of thought, and especially of an odd and inexplicable
sense of physical comfort that seemed to proceed
from the region of the heart, as though his body had
been cheered, his blood warmed, and his circulation
stimulated by the assimilation of many good things. As
he walked up the Avenue, he did not ask himself
whether he had produced a good or a bad impression
upon Miss Fearing, nor whether he had talked well or
ill, still less whether the young girl had liked him,
though it is probable that if he had put any of these
questions to his inner consciousness that complacent
witness would, in his present mood, have answered all
his inquiries in the way most satisfactory to his vanity.
For some reason or other he was not curious to know
what his inner consciousness thought of the matter. For
the moment, sensation was enough, and he was surprised
to discover that sensation could be so agreeable. He
knew that he was holding his head higher than usual,
that his glance was more confident than it was wont to
be, and his step more elastic, but he did not connect any
of these phenomena in a direct way with his visit in
57Washington Square. Perhaps there was a vague notion
afloat in his brain to the effect that if he once allowed
the connection he should be forced into calling himself
a fool, and that it was consequently far wiser to enjoy
the state in which he found himself than to inquire too
closely into its immediate or remote causes.
It is also probable that if George Wood’s condition of
general satisfaction on that evening had been more
clearly dependent upon his recollection of the young
lady he had just left, he would have felt an impulse to
please her by doing as she wished; in other words, he
would have gone home or would have passed by Totty’s
house to make inquiries, instead of executing his purpose
of ringing at Mr. Craik’s door. But there was something
contradictory in his nature, which drove him to do the
very things which most men would have left undone;
and moreover there was a grain of grim humour in the
idea of asking in person after Tom Craik’s health, which
made the plan irresistibly attractive. He imagined his
own expression when he should tell his father what he
had done, and he knew the old gentleman well enough to
guess that the satire of the proceeding would inwardly
please him in spite of himself, though he would certainly
look grave and shake his head when he heard the story.
Constance Fearing’s meditations, when she was left
alone, were of a very different character. She stood for
a long time at the window looking out into the purple
haze that hung about the square, and then she turned
and went and sat before the fire, and gazed at the glowing
coals. George Wood could not but have felt flattered
had he known that was the subject of her thoughts during
the greater part of an hour after his departure, and
he would have been very much surprised at his own
ignorance of human nature had he guessed that her mind
was disturbed by the remembrance of her own conduct.
He would assuredly have called her morbid and have
doubted the sincerity of her most sacred convictions, and
if he could have looked into her mind, that part of his
58history which was destined to be connected with hers
would in all likelihood have remained unenacted. He
could certainly not have understood her mood at that
time, and the attempt to do so would have filled him
with most unreasonable prejudices against her.
To the young girl it seemed indeed a very serious
matter to have criticised George’s conduct and to have
thrust her advice upon him. It was the first time she
had ever done such a thing and she wondered at her own
boldness. She repeated to herself that it was none of
her business to consider what George Wood did, and
still less to sit in judgment upon his thoughts, and yet
she was glad that she had spoken as she had. She knew
very little about men, and she was willing to believe
they might all think alike. At all events this particular
man had very good cause for resentment against Thomas
Craik. Nevertheless there was something in his evident
delight at the prospect of the old man’s death that was
revolting to her finest feelings. Absolutely ignorant of
the world’s real evil, she saw her own path beset with
imaginary sins of the most varied description, to avoid
committing which needed the constant wakefulness of a
delicate sensibility; and as she knew of no greater or
more real evils, she fancied that the lives of others must
be like her own—a labyrinth of transparent cobwebs, to
brush against one of which, even inadvertently, was but
a little removed from crime itself. Her education had
been so strongly influenced by religion and her natural
sensitiveness was so great, that the main object of life
presented itself to her as the necessity for discovering
an absolute right or wrong in the most minute action,
and the least relaxation of this constant watch appeared
to her to be indicative of moral sloth. The fact that,
with such a disposition she was not an intolerable nuisance
to all who knew her, was due to her innate tact and
good taste, and in some measure to her youth, which
lent its freshness and innocence to all she did and
thought and said. At the present time her conscience
59seemed to be more than usually active and dissatisfied.
She assuredly did not believe that it was her mission to
reform George Wood, or to decorate his somewhat peculiar
character with religious arabesques of faith, hope,
and charity; but it is equally certain that she felt an
unaccountable interest in his conduct, and a degree of
curiosity in his actions which, considering how slightly
she knew him, was little short of amazing. Had she
been an older woman, less religious and more aware of
her own instincts, she would have asked herself whether
she was not already beginning to care for George Wood
himself rather than for the blameless rectitude of her
own moral feelings. But with her the refinements of a
girlish religiousness had so far got the upper hand of
everything else that she attributed her uneasiness to the
doubt about her own conduct rather than to a secret attraction
which was even then beginning to exercise its influence
over her.
It was to be foreseen that Constance Fearing would
not fall in love easily, even under the most favourable
circumstances. The most innocent love in the world
often finds a barrier in the species of religious sentimentality
by which she was at that time dominated, for
morbid scruples have power to kill spontaneity and all
that is spontaneous, among which things love is first, or
should be. Constance was not like her sister Grace, who
had loved John Bond ever since they had been children,
and who meant to marry him as soon as possible. Her
colder temperament would lose time in calculating for
the future instead of allowing her to be happy in the
present. Deep in her heart, too, there lay a seed of
unhappiness, in the habit of doubting which had grown
out of her mistrust of her own motives. She was very
rich. Should a poor suitor present himself, could she
help fearing lest he loved her money, when she could
hardly find faith in herself for the integrity of her own
most trivial intentions? She never thought of Grace
without admiring her absolute trust in the man she
loved.
CHAPTER V.
60
Thomas Craik lay ill in his great house, listening for
the failing beatings of his heart as the last glow of the
February afternoon faded out of the curtains and withdrew
its rich colour from the carved panels on the walls.
He lay upon his pillows, an emaciated old man with a
waxen face and head, sunken eyes that seemed to have
no sight in them. Short locks of yellowish grey hair
strayed about his forehead and temples, like dry grasses
scattered over a skull. There was no beard upon his
face, and the hard old lips were tightly drawn in a set
expression, a little apart, so that the black shadow of
the open mouth was visible between them. The long,
nervous hands lay upon the counterpane together, the
fingers of the one upon the wrist of the other feeling the
sinking pulse, searching with their numbed extremities
for a little flutter of motion in the dry veins. Thomas
Craik lay motionless in his bed, not one outward sign
betraying the tremendous conflict that was taking place
in his still active brain. He was himself to the last,
such as he had always been in the great moments of his
life, apparently cool and collected, in reality filled with
the struggle of strong, opposing passions.
He was not alone. Two great physicians were standing
in silence, side by side, before the magnificent
chimney-piece, beneath which a soft fire of dry wood
was burning steadily with a low and unvarying musical
roar. An attendant sat upright upon a carved chair at
the foot of the bed, not taking his eyes from the sick
man’s face.
The room was large and magnificent in its furniture
and appointments. The high wainscot had been carved
in rare woods after the designs of a great French artist.
The walls above were covered with matchless Cordova
leather from an Italian palace. The ceiling was composed
61of rich panels that surrounded a broad canvas from the
hand of a famous Spanish master, dead long ago. The
chimney-piece was enriched with old brass work from
Cairo, and with exquisite tiles from Turkish mosques.
Priceless eastern carpets of which not one was younger
than the century, covered the inlaid wooden floor. Diana
of Poitiers had slept beneath the canopy of the princely
bedstead; it was said that Louis the Fourteenth had
eaten off the table that was placed beside it, and Benvenuto
Cellini had carved the silver bell which stood
within reach of the patient’s hand. There was incongruity
in the assemblage of different objects, but the
great value of each and all saved the effect from vulgarity,
and lent to the whole something of the odd
harmony peculiar to certain collections.
It was the opinion of the two doctors that Tom Craik
was dying. They had done what they could for him and
were waiting for the end. As to his malady it was
sufficiently clear to both of them that his vitality was
exhausted and that even if he survived this crisis he
could not have long to live. They agreed that the action
of the heart had been much impaired by a life of constant
excitement and that the nerves had lost their
elasticity. They had taken pains to explain to his
sister, Mrs. Sherrington Trimm, that there was very little
to be done and that the patient should be advised to
make his last dispositions, since a little fatigue more or
less could make no material difference in his state,
whereas he would probably die more easily if his mind
were free from anxiety. Totty had spent the day in the
house and intended to return in the evening. She bore
up very well under the trial, and the physicians felt
obliged to restrain her constant activity in tending her
brother while she was in the room, as it seemed to make
him nervous and irritable. She had their fullest sympathy,
of course, as persons who are supposed to be sole
legatees of the dying very generally have, but so far as
their professional capacity was concerned, the two felt
62that it went better with the patient when his faithful
sister was out of the house.
From time to time inquiries were made on the part
of acquaintances, generally through their servants, but
they were not many. Though the other persons in the
room scarcely heard the distant ringing of the muffled bell,
and the careful opening and shutting of the street door,
the feeble old man never failed to catch the sound of both
and either with his eyes or half-uttered words asked who
had called. On receiving the answer he generally moved
his head a little wearily and his lids drooped again.
“Is there anybody you expect? Anybody you wish to
see?” one of the physicians once asked, bending low and
speaking softly. He suspected that something was disquieting
the dying man’s mind.
But there was no answer, and the lids drooped again.
It was now dusk and it would soon be night. Many
hours might pass before the end came, and the doctors
consulted in low tones as to which of them should remain.
Just then the faint and distant rattle of the bell was
heard. Immediately Tom Craik stirred, and seemed to
be listening attentively. The two men ceased speaking
and they could hear the front door softly open in the
street below, and close again a few seconds later. One
of the physicians glanced at the patient, saw the usual
look of inquiry in his face and quickly left the room.
When he returned he held a card in his hand, which he
took to the bedside after looking at it by the fireside.
Bending down, he spoke in a low tone.
“Mr. George Winton Wood has called,” he said.
Tom Craik’s sunken eyes opened suddenly and fixed
themselves on the speaker’s face.
“Any message?” he asked very feebly.
“He said he had only just heard of your illness, and
was very sorry—would call again.”
A strange look of satisfaction came into the old man’s
colourless face, and a low sigh escaped his lips as he
closed his eyes again.
63“Would you like to see him?” inquired the doctor.
The patient shook his head without raising his lids,
and the room was still once more. Presently the other
physician departed and the one who was left installed
himself in a comfortable chair from which he could see
the bed and the door. During half an hour no sound was
heard save the muffled roar of the wood fire. At last the
sick man stirred again.
“Doctor—come here,” he said in a harsh whisper.
“What is it, Mr. Craik?”
“Send for Trimm at once.”
“Mrs. Trimm, did you say?”
“No—Sherry Trimm himself—make my will—see?
Quick.”
The physician stared at his patient for a moment in
very considerable surprise, for he thought he had reason
to suppose that Thomas Craik’s will had been made
already, and now he half suspected that the old man’s
mind was wandering. He hesitated.
“You think I’m not able, do you?” asked Craik, his
rough whisper rising to a growl. “Well, I am. I’m
not dead yet, so get him quickly.”
The doctor left the room without further delay, to give
the necessary orders. When he returned, Mr. Craik was
lying with his eyes wide open, staring at the fire.
“Give me something, can’t you?” he said with more
energy than he had shown that day.
The doctor began to think that it was not yet all up
with his patient, as he mixed something in a glass and
gave it to him. Craik drank eagerly and moved his
stiffened lips afterwards as though he had enjoyed the
taste of the drink.
“I may not jockey the undertaker,” he grumbled, “but
I shall last till morning, anyhow.”
Nearly half an hour elapsed before Sherrington Trimm
reached the house, but during all that time Thomas Craik
did not close his eyes again. His face looked less waxen,
too, and his sight seemed to have recovered some of the
64light that had been fading out of it by degrees all day.
The doctor watched him with interest, wondering, as doctors
must often wonder, what was passing in his brain,
what last, unspent remnant of life’s passions had caused
so sudden a revival of his energy, and whether this manifestation
of strength were the last flare of the dying lamp,
or whether Tom Craik, to use his own words, would jockey
the undertaker, as he had jockeyed many another adversary
in his stirring existence.
The door opened, and Sherrington Trimm entered the
room. He was a short, active man, slightly inclined to
be stout, bald and very full about the chin and neck,
with sharp, movable blue eyes, and a closely-cut, grizzled
moustache. His hands were plump, white and pointed,
his feet were diminutive and his dress was irreproachable.
He had a habit of turning his head quickly to the right
and left when he spoke, as though challenging contradiction.
He came briskly to the bedside and took one of
Craik’s wasted hands in his, with a look of honest sympathy.
“How are you, Tom?” he inquired, suppressing his
cheerful voice to a sort of subdued chirp.
“According to him,” growled Craik, glancing at the
doctor, “I believe I died this afternoon. However, I
want to make my will, so get out your tools, Sherry, and
set to. Please leave us alone,” he added, looking up at
the physician.
The latter went out, taking the attendant with him.
“Your will!” exclaimed Sherry Trimm, when the
door had closed behind the two. “I thought——”
“Bad habit, thinking things. Don’t. Put that drink
where I can reach it—so. There’s paper on the table.
Sit down.”
Trimm saw that he had better not argue the matter,
and he did as he was bidden. He was indeed very much
surprised at the sudden turn of affairs, for he was perfectly
well aware that Tom Craik had made a will some
years previously in which he left his whole fortune to
65his only sister, Trimm’s wife. The lawyer wondered
what his brother-in-law intended to do now, and as the
only means of ascertaining the truth seemed to be to
obey his orders, he lost no time in preparing to receive
the dictation.
“This the last will and testament of me, Thomas
Craik,” said the sick man, sharply. “Got that? Go
on. I do hereby revoke and annul all former wills made
by me. That’s correct isn’t it? No, I’m not wandering—not
a bit. Very important that clause—very. Go
ahead about the just debts and funeral expenses. I
needn’t dictate that.”
Trimm wrote rapidly on, nervously anxious to get to
the point.
“Got that? Well. I bequeath all my worldly possessions,
real and personal estate of all kinds—go on with
the stock phrases—include house and furniture, trinkets
and everything.”
Trimm’s hand moved quickly along the ruled lines of
the foolscap.
“To whom?” he asked almost breathlessly, as he
reached the end of the formal phrase.
“To George Winton Wood,” said Craik with an odd
snap of the lips. “His name’s on that card, Sherry,
beside you, if you don’t know how to spell it. Go on.
Son of Jonah Wood of New York, and of Fanny Winton
deceased, also of New York. No mistake about the
identity, eh? Got it down? To have and to hold—and
all the rest of it. Let’s get to the signature—look
sharp! Get in the witness clause right—that’s the most
important—don’t forget to say, in our presence and in
the presence of each other—there’s where the hitch
comes in about proving wills. All right. Ring for the
doctor and we’ll have the witnesses right away. Make
the date clear.”
Sherrington Trimm had not recovered from his surprise,
as he pressed the silver button of the bell. The
physician entered immediately.
66“Can you be the other witness yourself, Sherry?
Rather not? Doctor, just send for Stubbs, will you
please? He’ll do, won’t he?”
Trimm nodded, while he and the physician set a small
invalid’s table upon the sick man’s knees, and spread
upon it the will, of which the ink was not yet dry.
Trimm dipped the pen in the ink and handed it to Mr.
Craik.
“Let me drink first,” said the latter. He swallowed
the small draught eagerly, and then looked about him.
“Will you sign?” asked Trimm nervously.
“Is Stubbs here? Wait for him. Here, Stubbs—you
see—this is my will. I’m going to sign it, and you’re
a witness.”
“Yes, sir,” said the butler, gravely. He moved forward
cautiously so that he could see the document and
recognise it if he should ever be called upon to do so.
The sick man steadied himself while the doctor thrust
his arm behind the pillows to give him more support.
Then he set the pen to the paper and traced his name in
large, clear characters. He did not take his eyes from
the paper until the doctor and the servant had signed as
witnesses. Then his head fell back on the pillows.
“Take that thing away, Sherry, and keep it,” he said,
feebly, for the strength had gone out of him all at once.
“You may want it to-morrow—or you may not.”
Mechanically he laid his fingers on his own pulse, and
then lay quite still. Sherrington Trimm looked at the
doctor with an expression of inquiry, but the latter only
shrugged his shoulders and turned away. After such a
manifestation of energy as he had just seen, he felt that
it was impossible to foresee what would happen. Tom
Craik’s nerves might weather the strain after all, and
he might recover. Mr. Trimm folded the document
neatly, wrapped it in a second sheet of paper and put it
into his pocket. Then he prepared to take his leave.
He touched the sick man’s hand gently.
“Good-night, Tom,” he said, bending over his brother-in-law.
67“I will call in the morning and ask how you
are.”
Craik opened his eyes.
“Tell nobody what I have done, till I’m dead,” he
answered in a whisper. “Good-night.”
Mr. Trimm felt no inclination to divulge the contents
of the will. He was a very shrewd and keen man, who
could certainly not be accused of having ever neglected
his own interest, but he was also scrupulously honest,
not only with that professional honesty which is both
politic and lucrative, but in all his thoughts and reasonings
with himself. At the present moment, his position
was not an agreeable one. It is true that neither he nor
his wife were in need of Craik’s money, for they had
plenty of their own; but it is equally certain that during
several years past they had confidently expected to
inherit the old man’s fortune, if he died before them.
Trimm had himself drawn up the will by which his wife
was made the heir to almost everything Craik possessed.
There had been a handsome legacy provided for this same
George Winton Wood, but all the rest was to have been
Totty’s. And now Trimm had seen the whole aspect of
the future changed by a stroke of the pen, apparently
during the last minutes of the old man’s life. He knew
that the testator was in full possession of his senses, and
that the document was as valid as any will could be.
Conscientious as he was, if he had believed that Craik
was no longer sane, he would have been quite ready to
take advantage of the circumstance, and would have lost
no time in consulting the physician with a view to
obtaining evidence in the case that would arise. But it
was evident that Craik’s mind was in no way affected by
his illness. The thing was done, and if Craik died it was
irrevocable. Sherry and Totty Trimm would never live
in the magnificent house of which they had so often talked.
“Not even the house!” he whispered to himself as he
went down stairs. “Not even the house!”
For a legacy he would not have cared. A few thousands
68were no object to him, and he was unlike his wife
in that he did not care for money itself. The whole
fortune, or half of it, added to what the couple already
had, would have made in their lives the difference
between luxury and splendour; the possession of the
house alone, with what it contained, would have given
them the keenest pleasure, but in Trimm’s opinion a
paltry legacy of ten thousand dollars, or so, would not
have been worth the trouble of taking. Of course it was
possible that Tom Craik might recover, and make a third
will. Trimm knew by experience that a man who will
once change his mind completely, may change it a dozen
times if he have time. But Craik was very ill and there
seemed little likelihood of his ever getting upon his
legs again.
Trimm had known much of his brother-in-law’s affairs
during the last twenty years, and he was far less surprised
at the way in which he had now finally wound
them up, before taking his departure from life, than
most people would have been. He knew better than any
one that Craik was not so utterly bad-hearted as he was
generally believed to be, and he knew that as the man
grew older he felt twinges of remorse when he thought
of Jonah Wood. That he cordially detested the latter
was not altogether astonishing, since he had so greatly
injured him, but the natural contrariety of his nature
forced him into an illogical situation. He hated Wood
and yet he desired to make him some sort of restitution,
not indeed out of principle or respect for any law, human
or divine, but as a means of pacifying his half-nervous,
half-superstitious conscience. He could not have done
anything openly in the matter, for that would have been
equivalent to acknowledging the unwritten debt, so that
the only way out of his difficulty lay in the disposal of
his fortune after his death. But although he suffered
something very like remorse, he hated Jonah Wood too
thoroughly to insert his name in his will. There was
nothing to be done but to leave money to George. It
69had seemed to him that a legacy of a hundred thousand
dollars would be enough to procure his own peace of
mind, and having once made that arrangement he had
dismissed the subject.
But as he lay in this illness, which he believed was to
be his last, further change had taken place in his view
of the matter. He was naturally suspicious, as well as
shrewd, and the extreme anxiety displayed by his sister
had attracted his attention. They had always lived on
excellent terms, and Totty was distinctly a woman of
demonstrative temperament. It was assuredly not surprising
that she should show much feeling for her brother
and spend much time in taking care of him. It was quite
right that she should be at his bedside in moments of
danger, and that she should besiege the doctors with
questions about Tom’s chances of recovery. But in
Tom’s opinion there was a false note in her good behaviour
and a false ring in her voice. There was something
strained, something not quite natural, something he
could hardly define, but which roused all the powers of
opposition for which he had been famous throughout his
life. It was a peculiarity of his malady that his mental
faculties were wholly unimpaired, and were, if anything,
sharpened by his bodily sufferings and by his anxiety
about his own state. The consequence was that as soon
as the doubt about Totty’s sincerity had entered his
mind, he had concentrated his attention upon it, had
studied it and had applied himself to accounting for her
minutest actions and most careless words upon the theory
that she was playing a part. In less than twenty-four
hours the suspicion had become a conviction, and Craik
felt sure that Totty was overdoing her show of sisterly
affection in order to hide her delight at the prospect of
her brother’s death. It is not too unjust to say that
there was a proportion of truth in Mr. Craik’s suppositions,
and that Mrs. Sherrington Trimm’s perturbation
of spirits did not result so much from the dread of a
great sorrow as from the prospect of a very great satisfaction
70when that sorrow should have spent itself. She
was not in the least ashamed of her heartlessness, either.
Was she not doing everything in her power to soothe her
brother’s last days, sacrificing to his comfort the last
taste of gaiety she could enjoy until the mourning for
him should be over, submitting to a derangement of her
comfortable existence which was nothing short of distracting?
It was not her fault if Tom had not one of
those lovable natures whose departure from this life
leaves a great void in the place where they have dwelt.
But from being convinced that Totty cared only for
the money to the act of depriving her of it was a long
distance for the old man’s mind to pass over. He was
just enough to admit that in a similar position he would
have felt very much as she did, though he would certainly
have acted his part more skilfully and with less theatrical
exaggeration. After all, money was a very good thing,
and a very desirable thing, as Thomas Craik knew, better
than most people. After all, too, Totty was his sister,
his nearest relation, the only one of his connections with
whom he had not quarrelled at one time or another.
The world would think it very natural that she should
have everything, and there was no reason why she should
not, unless her anxiety to get it could be called one. He
considered the case in all its bearings. If, for instance,
that young fellow, George Wood, whom he had not seen
since he had been a boy, were to be put in Totty’s place,
what would he feel, and what would he do? He would
undoubtedly wish that Tom Craik might die speedily,
and his eyes would assuredly gleam when he thought of
moving into the gorgeous house, a month after the
funeral. That was only human nature, simple, unadorned,
everyday human nature. But the boy supposed
that he had no chance of getting anything, and did not
even think it worth while to ring at the door and ask the
news of his dying relation. Of course not; why should
he? And yet, thought the sour old man, if George Wood
could guess how near he was to being made a millionaire,
71how nimbly his feet would move in the appropriate
direction, with what alacrity he would ring the bell,
with what an accent of subdued sympathy he would
question the servant! Truly, if by any chance he
should take it into his head to make inquiries, there
would be an instance of disinterested good feeling,
indeed. He would never do that. Why then should
the money be given to him rather than to Totty?
But the idea had taken possession of the old man’s active
brain, and would not be chased away. As he thought
about it, too, it seemed as though he might die more
easily if such full restitution were made. No one could
tell anything about the future state of existence. Thomas
Craik was no atheist, though he had never found time or
inclination to look into the question of religion, and certain
peculiarities in his past conduct had made any such
meditations particularly distasteful to him. When once
the end had come the money could be of no use to him,
and if George Wood had it, Thomas Craik might stand a
better chance in the next world. Totty had received her
share of the gain, too, and had no claim to any more of
it. He had managed her business with his own and had
enriched her while enriching himself, with what had belonged
to Jonah Wood, and to a great number of other
people. At all events, if he left everything to George no
one could accuse him hereafter—whatever that might
mean—with not having done all he could to repair the
wrong. He said to himself philosophically that one of
two things must happen; either he was to die, and in
that case he would do well to die with as clear a conscience
as he could buy, or he was to recover, and would
then have plenty of time to reflect upon his course without
having deprived himself of what he liked.
At last, between the two paths that were open to him,
he became confused, and with characteristic coolness he
determined to leave the matter to chance. If George Wood
showed enough interest in him to come to the door and
make inquiries, he would change his will. If the young
72fellow did not show himself, Totty should have the fortune.
“That’s what I call giving Providence a perfectly fair
chance,” he said to himself. A few hours after he had
reached this conclusion George actually came to the house.
Then Tom Craik hesitated no longer. The whole thing
was done and conclusively settled without loss of time,
as Craik had always loved to do business.
It is probable that if George had guessed the importance
of the simple act of asking after his relation’s
condition, he would have gone home without passing the
door, and would have spent so much time in reflecting
upon his course, that it would have been too late to do
anything in the matter. The problem would not have
been an easy one to solve, involving, as it did, a question
of honesty in motive on the one hand, and a consideration
of true justice on the other. If any one had asked him
for his advice in a similar case he would have answered
with a dry laugh that a man should never neglect his opportunities,
that no one would be injured by the transaction,
and that the money belonged by right to the family
of the man from whom it had been unjustly taken. But
though George could affect a cynically practical business
tone in talking of other people’s affairs he was not capable
of acting upon such principles in his own case. To
extract profit of any sort from what was nothing short of
hypocrisy would have been impossible to him.
He had been unable to resist the temptation of asking
the news, because he sincerely hoped that the old man
was about to draw his last breath, and because there
seemed to him to be something attractively ironical in the
action. He even expected that Mr. Craik would understand
that the inquiry was made from motives of hatred
rather than of sympathy, and imagined with pleasure that
the thought might inflict a sting and embitter his last
moments. There was nothing contrary to George’s feelings
in that, though he would have flushed with shame
at the idea that he was to be misunderstood and that
73what was intended for an insult was to be rewarded with
a splendid fortune.
Very possibly, too, there was a feeling of opposition
concerned in his act, for which he himself could not
have accounted. He was not fond of advice, and Constance
Fearing had seemed very anxious that he should
not do what he had done. Being still very young, it
seemed absurd to him that a young girl whom he scarcely
knew and had only seen twice should interfere with his
free will.
This contrariety was wholly unreasoning, and if he
had tried to understand it, he would have failed in the
attempt. He would certainly not have attributed it to
the beginning of a serious affection, for he was not old
enough to know how often love’s early growth is hidden
by what we take wrongly for an antagonism of feeling.
However all these things may be explained, George
Wood felt that he was in a humour quite new to him,
when he rang at Tom Craik’s door. He was elated without
knowing why, and yet he was full of viciously
combative instincts. His heart beat with a pleasant
alacrity, and his mind was unusually clear. He would
have said that he was happy, and yet his happiness was
by no means of the kind which makes men at peace with
their surroundings or gentle toward those with whom
they have to do. There was something overbearing in
it, that agreed with his natural temper and that found
satisfaction in what was meant for an act of unkindness.
He found his father reading before the fire. The old
gentleman read, as he did everything else, with the air
of a man who is performing a serious duty. He sat in
a high-backed chair with wooden arms, his glasses carefully
adjusted upon his nose, his head held high, his lips
set in a look of determination, his long hands holding
the heavy volume in the air before his sight and expressive
in their solid grasp of a fixed and unalterable purpose.
George paused on the threshold, wondering for
the thousandth time that so much resolution of character
74as was visible in the least of his father’s actions, should
have produced so little practical result in the struggles
of a long life.
“Won’t you shut that door, George?” said Jonah Wood,
not looking away from his book nor moving a muscle.
George did as he was requested and came slowly forward.
He stood still for a moment before the fireplace,
spreading his hands to the blaze.
“Tom Craik is dying,” he said at last, looking at his
father’s face.
There was an almost imperceptible quiver in the strong
hands that held the book. A very slight colour rose in
the massive grey face. But that was all. The eyes remained
fixed on the page, and the angle at which the
volume was supported did not change.
“Well,” said the mechanical voice, “we must all die
some day.”
CHAPTER VI.
The world was very much surprised when it was
informed that Thomas Craik was not dead after all.
During several weeks he lay in the utmost danger, and
it was little short of a miracle that he was kept alive—one
of those miracles which are sometimes performed
upon the rich by physicians in luck. While he was ill
George, who was disappointed to find that there was so
much life in his enemy, made frequent inquiries at the
house, a fact of which Mr. Craik took note, setting it
down to the young man’s credit. Nor did it escape the
keen old man that his sister Totty’s expression grew less
hopeful, as he himself grew better, and that her fits of
spasmodic and effusive rejoicing over his recovery were
succeeded by periods of abstraction during which she
seemed to be gazing regretfully upon some slowly receding
vision of happiness.
75Mrs. Sherrington Trimm was indeed not to be envied.
In the first place all immediate prospect of inheriting
her brother’s fortune was removed by his unexpected
convalescence; and, secondly, she had a suspicion that
in the midst of his illness he had made some change in
the disposition of his wealth. It would be hard to say
how this belief had formed itself in her mind, for her
husband was a man of honour and had scrupulously obeyed
Craik’s injunction to be silent in regard to the will. He
found this the more easy, because what he liked least in
his wife’s character was her love of money. Having
only one child, he deemed his own and Totty’s fortunes
more than sufficient, and he feared lest if she were
suddenly enriched beyond her neighbours, she might
launch into the career of a leader of society and take up
a position very far from agreeable to his own more
modest tastes. Sherry Trimm was an eminently sensible
as well as an eminently honourable man. He possessed
a very keen sense of the ridiculous, and he knew how
easily a woman like Totty could be made the subject of
ridicule, if she had her own way, and if she suddenly
were placed in circumstances where the question of
expenditure need never be taken into consideration.
She had rarely lost an opportunity of telling him what
she should do if she were enormously rich, and it was
not hard to see that she confidently expected to possess
such riches as would enable her to carry out what Sherry
called her threats.
On the other hand Mr. Trimm’s sense of honour was
satisfied by his brother-in-law’s new will. There is a
great deal more of that sort of manly, honourable feeling
among Americans than is dreamed of in European philosophy.
Europe calls us a nation of business men, but
it generally forgets that we are not a nation of shopkeepers,
and that if we esteem a merchant as highly as
a soldier or a lawyer it is because we know by experience
that the hands which handle money can be kept as
clean as those that draw the sword or hold the pen. In
76strong races the man ennobles the occupation, the occupation
does not degrade the man. If Thomas Craik was
dishonest, Jonah Wood and Sherrington Trimm were
both as upright gentlemen as any in the whole world.
It was not in Jonah Wood’s power to recover what had
been taken from him by operations that were only just
within the pale of the law, because laws have not yet
been made for such cases; nor was it Sherrington
Trimm’s vocation to play upon Tom Craik’s conscience
in the interests of semi-poetic justice. But Trimm was
honourable enough and disinterested enough to rejoice
at the prospect of seeing stolen money restored to its
possessor instead of being emptied into his wife’s purse,
and he was manly enough to have felt the same satisfaction
in the act, if his own circumstances had been far
less flourishing.
But Totty thought very differently of all these things.
She had in her much of her brother’s nature, and the
love of money, which being interpreted into American
means essentially the love of what money can give,
dominated her character, and poisoned the pleasant
qualities with which she was undoubtedly endowed.
She had, as a natural concomitant, the keenest instinct
about money and the quarter from which it was to be
expected. Something was wrong in her financial atmosphere,
and she felt the diminution of pressure as quickly
and as certainly as a good barometer indicates the
approaching south wind when the weather is still clear
and bright. It was of no use to question her husband,
and she knew her brother well enough to be aware that
he would conceal his purpose to the last. But there was
an element of anxiety and doubt in her life which she
had not known before. Tom Craik saw that much in
her face and suspected that it was the result of his
recovery. He did not regret what he had done and he
made up his mind to abide by it.
Meanwhile George Wood varied the dreariness of his
hardworking life by seeing as much as possible of the
77Fearings. He went to the house in Washington Square
as often as he dared, and before long his visits had
assumed a regularity which was noticeable, to say the
least of it. If he had still felt any doubt as to what was
passing in his own heart at the end of the first month,
he felt none whatever as the spring advanced. He was
in love with Constance, and he knew it. The young
girl was aware of the fact also, as was her sister, who
looked on with evident disapproval.
“Why do you not send the man away?” Grace asked,
one evening when they were alone.
“Why should I?” inquired Constance, changing colour
a little though her voice was quiet.
“Because you are flirting with him, and no good can
come of it,” Grace answered bluntly.
“Flirting? I?” The elder girl raised her eyebrows
in innocent surprise. The idea was evidently new to
her, and by no means agreeable.
“Yes, flirting. What else can you call it, I would
like to know? He comes to see you—oh yes, you cannot
deny it. It is certainly not for me. He knows I
am engaged, and besides, I think he knows that I do
not like him. Very well—he comes to see you, then.
You receive him, you smile, you talk, you take an interest
in everything he does—I heard you giving him
advice the other day. Is not that flirting? He is in
love with you, or pretends to be, which is the same
thing, and you encourage him.”
“Pretends to be? Why should he pretend?” Constance
asked the questions rather dreamily, as though she
had put them to herself before and more than half knew
the answer. Grace laughed a little.
“Because you are eminently worth while,” she replied.
“Do you suppose that if you were as poor as he is, he
would come so often?”
“That is not very good-natured,” observed Constance,
taking up her book again. There was very little surprise
in her tone, however, and Grace was glad to note
78the fact. Her sister was less simple than she had supposed.
“Good nature!” she exclaimed. “What has good
nature to do with it? Do you think Mr. Wood comes
here out of good nature? He wants to marry you, my
dear. He cannot, and therefore you ought to send him
away.”
“If I loved him, I would marry him.”
“But you do not. And, besides, the thing is absurd!
A man with no position of any sort—none of any sort,
I assure you—without fortune, and what is much worse,
without any profession.”
“Literature is a profession.”
“Oh, literature—yes. Of course it is. But those
miserable little criticisms he writes are not literature.
Why does he not write a book, or even join a newspaper
and be a journalist?”
“Perhaps he will. I am always telling him that he
should. And as for position, he is a gentleman, whether
he chooses to go into society or not. His father was a
New Englander, I believe—but I have heard poor papa
say very nice things about him—and his mother was a
Winton and a cousin of Mrs. Trimm’s. There is nothing
better than that, I suppose.”
“Yes—that odious Totty!” exclaimed Grace in a
tone of unmeasured contempt. “She brought him here
in the hope that one of us would take a fancy to him and
help her poor relation out of his difficulties. Besides,
she is the silliest, shallowest little woman I ever knew!”
“I daresay. I am not fond of her. But you are
unjust to Mr. Wood. He is very talented, and he works
very hard——”
“At what? At those wretched little paragraphs? I
could write a dozen of them in an hour!”
“I could not. One has to read the books first, you
know.”
“Well—say two hours, then. I am sure I could
write a dozen in two hours. Such stuff, my dear! You
79are dazzled by his conversation. He does talk fairly
well, when he pleases. I admit that.”
“I am glad you leave him something,” said Constance.
“As for my marrying him, that is a very different
matter. I have not the slightest idea of doing that.
To be quite honest, the idea has crossed my mind that
he might wish it——”
“And yet you let him come?”
“Yes. I cannot tell him not to come here, and I like
him too much to be unkind to him—to be cold and rude
for the sake of sending him away. If he ever speaks of
it, it will be time to tell him what I think. If he does
not, it does him no harm—nor me either, as far as I
can see.”
“I do not know. It seems to me that to encourage a
man and then drop him when he can hold his tongue no
longer is the reverse of human kindness.”
“And it seems to me, my dear, that you are beginning
to argue from another side of the question. I did not
understand that it was out of consideration for Mr.
Wood——”
“No, it was not,” Grace admitted with a laugh. “I
am cruel enough to wish that you would be unkind to
him without waiting for him to offer himself. You are
a very inscrutable person, Conny! I wish I could find
out what you really think.”
Constance made no answer, but smiled gently at her
sister as she took up her book for the second time. She
began to read as though she did not care to continue the
conversation, and Grace made no effort to renew it. She
understood enough of Constance’s character to be sure
that she could never understand it thoroughly, and she
relinquished the attempt to ascertain the real state of
things. If Constance had vouchsafed any reply, she
would have said that she was in considerable perplexity
concerning her own thoughts. For the present, however,
her doubts gave her very little trouble. She
possessed one of those calm characters which never force
80their owners to be in a hurry about a decision, and she
was now, as always, quite willing to wait and see what
course her inclinations would take.
Calmness of this sort is often the result of an inborn
distrust of motives in oneself and in others, combined
with an almost total absence of impatience. The idea
that it is in general better to wait than to act, gets the
upper hand of the whole nature and keeps it, perhaps
throughout life, perhaps only until some strong and
disturbing passion breaks down the fabric of indolent
prejudice which surrounds such minds. Constance had
thought of most of the points which her sister had
brought up against George Wood, and was not at all
surprised to hear Grace speak as she had spoken. On
the contrary she felt a sort of mental pride in having
herself discerned all the objections which stood in the
way of her loving George. None of them had appeared
to be insurmountable, because none of them were in
reality quite just. She was willing to admit that her
fortune might be what most attracted him, but she had
no proof of the fact, and having doubted him, she was
quite as much inclined to doubt her own judgment of
him. His social position was not satisfactory, as Grace
had said, but she had come to the conclusion that this
was due to his distaste for society, especially since she
had heard many persons of her acquaintance express
their regret that the two Woods could not forget old
scores. His literary performances were assuredly not of
the first order, and she felt an odd sort of shame for
him, when she thought of the poor little paragraphs he
turned out in the papers, and compared the work with
his conversation. But George had often explained to
her that he was obliged to write his notices in a certain
way, and that he occupied his spare time in producing
matter of a very different description. In fact there
were answers to every one of Grace’s objections and
Constance had already framed for herself the replies
she was prepared to give her sister.
81Her principal difficulty lay in another direction. Was
the very decided liking she felt for George Wood the
beginning of love, or was it not? That it was not love
at the present time she was convinced, for her instinct
told her truly that if she had loved him, she could not have
discussed him so calmly. What she defined as her liking
was, however, already so pronounced that she could
see no objection to allowing it to turn into something
warmer and stronger if it would, provided she were able
to convince herself of George’s sincerity. Her fortune
was certainly in the way. What man in such circumstances,
she asked herself, could be indifferent to the
prospect of such a luxurious independence as was hers
to confer upon him she married? She wished that some
concatenation of events might deprive her of her wealth
for a time long enough to admit of her trying the great
experiment, on condition that it might be restored to her
so soon as the question was decided in one way or the
other. Nevertheless she believed that if she really
loved him, she could forget to doubt the simplicity of
his affection.
George, on his part, was not less sensitive upon the
same point. His hatred of all sordid considerations was
such that he feared lest his intentions might be misinterpreted
wherever there was a question of money. On
the other hand, he was becoming aware that his intercourse
with Constance Fearing could not continue much
longer upon its present footing. There existed no pretext
of relationship to justify the intimacy that had
sprung out of his visits, and even in a society in which
the greatest latitude is often allowed to young and marriageable
women, his assiduity could not fail to attract
attention. The fact that the two young girls had a
companion in the person of an elderly lady distantly
connected with them did not materially help matters.
She was a faded, timid, retiring woman who was rarely
seen, and who, indeed, took pains to keep herself out of
the way when there were any visitors, fearing always to
82intrude where she might not be wanted. George had
seen her once or twice but was convinced that she did
not know him by sight. He knew, however, that his
frequent visits had been the subject of remark among
the young girls’ numerous acquaintance, for his cousin
Totty had told him so with evident satisfaction, and he
guessed from Grace’s behaviour, that she at least would
be glad to see no more of him. What Grace had told
her sister, however, was strictly true. Constance encouraged
him. George was neither tactless nor fatuous,
and if Constance had shown that his presence was distasteful
to her, he would have kept away, and cured himself
of his half-developed attachment as best he could.
About this time an incident occurred which was destined
to produce a very decided effect upon his life.
One afternoon in May he was walking slowly down Fifth
Avenue on his way to Washington Square when he suddenly
found himself face to face with old Tom Craik,
who was at that moment coming out of one of the clubs.
The old man was not as erect as he had been before his
illness, but he was much less broken down than George
had supposed. His keen eyes still peered curiously into
the face of every passer, and he still set down his stick
with a sharp, determined rap at every step. Before
George could avoid the meeting, as he would instinctively
have done had there been time, he was conscious of
being under his relation’s inquiring glance. He was not
sure that the latter recognised him, but he knew that a
recognition was possible. Under the circumstances he
could not do less than greet his father’s enemy, who was
doubtless aware of his many inquiries during the period
of danger. George lifted his hat civilly and would have
passed on, but the old gentleman stopped him, to his
great surprise, and held out a thin hand, tightly encased
in a straw-coloured glove—he permitted himself certain
exaggerations of dress which somehow were not
altogether incongruous in his case.
“You are George Wood?” he asked. George was
83struck by the disagreeable nature of his voice and at the
same time by the speaker’s evident intention to make it
sound pleasantly.
“Yes, Mr. Craik,” the young man answered, still somewhat
confused by the suddenness of the meeting.
“I am glad I have met you. It was kind of you to
ask after me when I was down. I thank you. It showed
a good heart.”
Tom Craik was sincere, and George looked in vain for
the trace of a sneer on the parchment that covered the
worn features, and listened without detecting the least
modulation of irony in the tones of the cracked voice.
He felt a sharp sting of remorse in his heart. What he
had meant for something very like an insult had been
misunderstood, had been kindly received, and now he was
to be thanked for it.
“I hate you, and I asked because I wanted to be told
that you were dead”—he could not say that, though
the words were in his mind, and he could almost hear
himself speaking them. A flush of shame rose to his face.
“It seemed natural to inquire,” he said, after a moment’s
hesitation. It had seemed very natural to him,
as he remembered.
“Did it? Well, I am glad it did, then. It would not
have seemed so to every young man in your position.
Good day—good day to you. Come and see me if you
care to.”
Again the thin gloved hand grasped his, and George
was left alone on the pavement, listening to the sharp
rap of the stick on the stones as the old man walked
rapidly away. He stood still for a moment, and then
went on down the Avenue. The dry regular rapping of
that stick was peculiarly disagreeable and he seemed to
hear it long after he was out of earshot.
He was very much annoyed. More than that, he was
sincerely distressed. Could he have guessed what had
been the practical result of his inquiries during the illness,
he would assuredly have even then turned and
84overtaken Tom Craik, and would have explained with
savage frankness that he was no friend, but a bitter
enemy who would have rejoiced to hear that death had
followed and overtaken its victim. But since he could
not dream of what had happened, it appeared to him that
any explanation would be an act of perfectly gratuitous
brutality. It was not likely that he should meet the old
man often, and there would certainly be no necessity for
any further exchange of civilities. He suffered all the
more in his pride because he must henceforth accept the
credit of having seemed kindly disposed.
Then he remembered how, at his second meeting with
Constance Fearing, she had earnestly advised him not to
do what had led to the present situation. It would have
been different had he known her as he knew her now, had
he loved her as he undoubtedly loved her to-day. But
as things had been then, he hardly blamed himself for
having been roused to opposition by his strong dislike of
advice.
“I have received the reward of my iniquities,” he said,
as he sat down in his accustomed seat and looked at her
delicate face.
“What has happened to you?” she asked, raising her
eyes with evident interest.
“Something very disagreeable. Do you like to hear
confessions? And when you do, are you inclined to give
absolution to your penitents?”
“What is it! What do you want to tell me?” Her
face expressed some uneasiness.
“Do you remember, when I first came here—the
second time, I should say—when Tom Craik was in
such a bad way, and I hoped he would die? You know, I
told you I would go and leave a card with inquiries, and
you advised me not to. I went—in fact, I called several
times.”
“You never told me. Why should you? It was
foolish of me, too. It was none of my business.”
“I wish I had taken your advice. The old man got
85well again, but I have not seen him till to-day. Just
now, as I walked here, he was coming out of his club,
and I ran against him before I knew where I was. Do
you know? He had taken my inquiries seriously.
Thought I asked out of pure milk and water of human
kindness, so to say—thanked me so nicely and asked
me to go and see him! I felt like such a beast.”
Constance laughed and for some reason or other the
high, musical ring of her laughter did not give George
as much satisfaction as usual.
“What did you do?” she asked, a moment later.
“I hardly know. I could not tell him to his face that
he had not appreciated my peculiar style of humour,
that I loathed him as I loathe the plague, and that I
had called to know whether the undertaker was in the
house. I believe I said something civil—contemptibly
civil, considering the circumstances—and he left me
in front of the club feeling as if I had eaten something
I did not like. I wish you had been there to get me out
of the scrape with some more good advice!”
“I? Why should I——”
“Because, after all, you got me into it, Miss Fearing,”
George answered rather sadly. “So, perhaps, you would
have known what to do this time.”
“I got you into the scrape?” Constance looked as
much distressed as though it were really all her fault.
“Oh, no—I am not in earnest, exactly. Only, I
have such an abominably contrary nature that I went to
Tom Craik’s door just because you advised me not to—that
is all. I had only seen you twice then—and——”
he stopped and looked fixedly at the young girl’s face.
“I knew I was wrong, even then,” Constance answered,
with a faint blush. The colour was not the result of
any present thought, nor of any suspicion of what
George was about to say; it was due to her recollection
of her conduct on that long remembered afternoon nearly
four months earlier.
“No. I ought to have known that you were right. If
you were to give me advice now——”
86“I would rather not,” interrupted the young girl.
“I would follow it, if you did,” said George, earnestly.
“There is a great difference between that time and this.”
“Is there?”
“Yes. Do you not feel it?”
“I know you better than I did.”
“And I know you better—very much better.”
“I am glad that makes you more ready to follow
sensible advice——”
“Your advice, Miss Fearing. I did not mean——”
“Mine, then, if you like it better. But I shall never
offer you any more. I have offered you too much
already, and I am sorry for it.”
“I would rather you gave me advice—than nothing,”
said George in a lower voice.
“What else should I give you?” Her voice had a
ring of surprise in it. She seemed startled.
“What you will never give, I am afraid—what I
have little enough the right to ask.”
Constance laid down the work she held, and looked
out of the window. There was a strange expression in
her face, as though she were wavering between fear and
satisfaction.
“Mr. Wood,” she said suddenly, “you are making love
to me.”
“I know I am. I mean to,” he answered, with an odd
roughness, as the light flashed into his eyes. Then, all
at once, his voice softened wonderfully. “I do it badly—forgive
me—I never did it before. I should not be
doing it now, if I could help myself—but I cannot.
This once—this once only—Constance, I love you with
all my heart.”
He was timid, and women, whether old or young, do
not like timidity. It was not that he lacked either
force or courage by nature, nor any of those qualities
whereby women are won. But the life he had led had
kept him younger than he believed himself to be, and
his solitary existence had given his ideal of Constance
87the opportunity of developing more quickly than the
reality. He loved her, it is true, but as yet in a peaceful,
unruffled way, which partook more of boundless
admiration than of passion. An older man would have
recognised the difference in himself. The girl’s finer
perceptions were aware of it without comprehending it
in the least. Nevertheless it was an immense satisfaction
to George to speak out the words which in his heart
had so long been written as a motto about the shrine of
his imagination.
Constance said nothing in answer, but rose, after a
moment’s pause, and went and stood before the fireplace,
now filled with ferns and plants, for the weather was
already warm. She turned her back upon George and
seemed to be looking at the things that stood on the
chimney-piece. George rose, too, and came and stood
beside her, trying to see her face.
“Are you angry?” he asked softly. “Have I offended
you?”
“No, I am not angry,” she answered. “But—but—was
there any use in saying it?”
“You do not love me at all? You do not care whether
I come or go?”
She pitied him, for his disappointment was genuine,
and she knew that he suffered something, though it
might not be very much.
“I do not know what love is,” she said thoughtfully.
“Yes—I care. I like to see you—I am interested in
what you do—I should be sorry never to see you again—but
I do not feel—what is it one should feel, when
one loves?”
“Is there any one—any man—whom you like better
than you like me?”
“No,” she answered with some hesitation, “I do not
think there is.”
“And there is a chance that you may like me better
still—that you may some day even love me?”
“Perhaps. I cannot tell. I have not known you very
long.”
88“It seems long to me—but you give me all I ask,
more than I had a right to hope for. I thank you,
with all my heart.”
“There is little to thank me for. Do you think I
mean more than I say?” She turned her head and
looked calmly into his eyes. “Do you think I am
promising anything?”
“I would like to think so. But what could you promise
me? You would not marry me, even if you loved me
as I love you.”
“You are wrong. If I loved you, I would marry you—if
I were sure that your love was real, too. But it is
not. I am sure it is not. You make yourself think you
love me——”
The young man’s dark face seemed to grow darker
still as she watched it. There was passion in it now,
but of a kind other than loving. His over sensitive
nature had already taken offence.
“Please do not go on, Miss Fearing,” he said, in a low
voice that trembled angrily. “You have said enough
already.”
Constance drew back in extreme surprise, and looked
as though she had misunderstood him.
“Why—what have I said?” she asked.
“You know what you meant. You are cruel and
unjust.”
There was a short pause, during which Constance
seemed to be trying to grasp the situation, while George
stood at the other end of the chimney-piece, staring at
the pattern in the carpet. The girl’s first impulse was
to leave the room, for his anger frightened and repelled
her. But she was too sensible for that, and she thought
she knew him too well to let such a scene pass without
an explanation. She gathered all her courage and faced
him again.
“Mr. Wood,” she said with a firmness he had never
seen in her, “I give you my word that I meant nothing
in the least unkind. It is you who are doing me an
89injustice. I have a right to know what you understood
from my words.”
“What could you have meant?” he asked coldly.
“You are, I believe, very rich. Every one knows that
I am very poor. You say that I make myself think I
love you——”
“Good heavens!” cried Constance. “You do not
mean to say that you thought that! But I never said
it, I never meant it—I would not think it——”
There was a little exaggeration in the last words. She
had thought of it, and that recently, though not when
she had spoken. It was enough, however. George
believed her, and the cloud disappeared from his face.
It was she who took his hand first, and the grasp was
almost affectionate in its warmth.
“You will never think that of me?” he asked earnestly.
“Never—forgive me if any word of mine could have
seemed to mean that I did.”
“Thank you,” he answered. “It is only my own
folly, of course, and I am the one to be forgiven.
Things may be different some day.”
“Yes,” assented Constance with a little hesitation,
“some day.”
A moment later George left the house, feeling as a
soldier does who has been under fire for the first time.
CHAPTER VII.
Not long after the events last chronicled, the Fearings
left New York for the summer, and George was left to
his own meditations, to the society of his father and to
the stifling heat of the great city. He had seen Constance
again more than once before she and her sister
had left town, and he had parted from her on the best
90of terms. To tell the truth, since his sudden exhibition
of violent temper, she had liked him even better than
before. His genuine anger had to some extent dissipated
the cloud of doubt which always seemed to her to
hang about his motives. The doubt itself was not gone,
for as it had a permanent cause in her own fortune it was
of the sort not easily driven away.
As for George himself, he considered himself engaged,
of course in a highly conditional way, to marry Miss
Constance Fearing. She had repeated, at his urgent
solicitation, what she had said when he had first declared
himself, to wit, that if she ever loved him she would
marry him, and that there was no one whom she at
present preferred to him. More than this, he could not
obtain from her, and in his calm moments, which were
still numerous, he admitted that she was perfectly fair
and just in her answer. He, on his part, had declared
with great emphasis that, however she might love him,
he would not marry her until he was independent of all
financial difficulties, and had made himself a name. On
the whole, nothing could have seemed more improbable
than that the marriage could ever take place. The
distance between writing second-rate reviews at ten
dollars a column, and being one of the few successful
writers of the day is really almost as great as it looks to
the merest outsider. Moreover, a friendship of several
months’ standing is generally speaking a bad foundation
on which to build hopes of love. The very intimacy of
intercourse forbids those surprises in which love chiefly
delights. Friendly hands have taken the bandage from
his eyes, and he has learned to see his way about with
remarkable acuteness of perception.
Perhaps the most immediate and perceptible effect of
the last few interviews with Constance was to be found
in the work he turned out, and in the dissatisfaction it
caused in quarters where it had formerly been considered
excellent. It was beginning to be too good to serve its
end, for the writer was beginning to feel that he could
91no longer efface his individuality and repress his own
opinions as he had formerly done. He exceeded in his
articles the prescribed length, he made vicious Latin quotations,
and concocted savagely epigrammatic sentences,
he inserted sharp remarks about prominent writers,
where they were manifestly beside the purpose, besides
being palpably unjust, there was a sting in almost every
paragraph which did not contain a paradox, and, altogether,
he made the literary editors who employed him
very nervous.
“It won’t do, Mr. Wood,” one of them said. “The
publishers don’t like it. Several have written to me.
The paper can’t stand this kind of thing. I suppose the
fact is that you are getting too good for this work. Take
my advice. Either go back to your old style, or write
articles over your own name for the magazines. They
like quotations and snap and fine writing—authors and
publishers don’t, not a bit.”
“I have tried articles again and again,” George answered.
“I cannot get them printed anywhere.”
“Well—you just go ahead and try again. You’ll get
on if you stick to it. If you think you can write some
of your old kind of notices, here’s a lot of books ready.
But seriously, Mr. Wood, if you write any more like the
last dozen or so, I can’t take them. I’m sorry, but I
really can’t.”
“I’ll have one more shot,” said George, desperately, as
he took up the books. He could not afford to lose the
wretched pay he got for the work.
He soon saw that other managers of literary departments
thought very much as this first specimen did.
“A little more moderation, Mr. Wood,” said a second,
who was an elderly æsthetic personage. “I hate violence
in all its forms. It is so fatiguing.”
“Very well,” said George submissively.
He went to another, the only one whom he knew rather
intimately, a pale, hardworking, energetic young fellow,
who had got all manner of distinctions at English and
92German universities, who had a real critical talent, and
who had risen quickly to his present position by his
innate superiority over all competitors in his own line.
George liked him and admired him. His pay was not
brilliant, for he was not on one of the largest papers, but
he managed to support his mother and two young sisters
on his earnings.
“Look here, Wood,” he said one morning, “this is not
the way criticism is done. You are not a critic by
nature. Some people are. I believe I am, and I always
meant to be one. You do this sort of thing just as you
would do any writing that did not interest you, and you
do it fairly well, because you have had a good education,
and you know a lot of things that ordinary people do not
know. But it is not your strong point, and I do not
believe it ever will be. Try something else. Write
an article.”
“That is what everybody tells me to do,” George answered.
He was disappointed, for he believed that what
he did was really good, and he had expected that the man
with whom he was now speaking would have been the
one of all others to appreciate his work. “That is what
they all tell me,” he continued, “but they do not tell me
how to get my articles accepted. Have you a recipe for
that, Johnson?”
The pale young man did not answer at once. He was
extremely conscientious, which was one reason why he
was a good critic.
“I cannot promise much,” he said at last. “But I
will tell you what I will do for you. If you will write
an article, or a short story—say five to eight thousand
words—I will read it and give you my honest opinion.
If I like it, I’ll push it, and it may get into print. If I
don’t, I’ll tell you so, and I’ll do nothing. You will
have to try again. But I am convinced that you are
naturally an author and not a critic.”
“Thank you,” said George gratefully. He knew what
the promise meant, from such a man as Johnson, who
93would have to sacrifice his time to the reading of the
manuscript, and whose opinion was worth having.
“Can you give me any work this week?” he asked,
before he took his leave.
Johnson looked at him quietly, as though making up
his mind what to say.
“I would rather not. You do not do it as well as you
did, and I am responsible. If there is anything else I
could do for you——” He stopped.
“If you will be so kind as to read my article——”
“Yes, of course. I said I would. I mean——”
Johnson looked away, and his pale face blushed to the
roots of his hair. “I mean—if you should need twenty
dollars while the article is being written, I can——”
George felt a very peculiar emotion, and his voice was
a little thick, as he took the other’s hand.
“Thank you, Johnson, but I don’t need it. You are
awfully kind, though. Nobody ever did as much for me
before.”
When he left the room, the nervous flush had not yet
disappeared from the literary editor’s forehead, nor had
the odd sensation quite subsided from George’s own
throat. If Tom Craik had offered him the loan of twenty
dollars, he would have turned his back on him with a
bitter answer. It was a very different matter when poor,
overworked Johnson put his hand in his pocket and
proffered all he could spare. For a minute George forgot
all his disappointments and troubles in the gratitude
he felt to the pale young man. Nor did he ever lose
remembrance of the kindly generosity that had prompted
the offer.
But as he walked slowly homewards the bitterness of
his heart began to show itself in another direction. He
thought of the repeated admonitions and parcels of advice
which had been thrust upon him during the last few
days, he thought of his poverty, of his failures, and he
compared all these facts with his aspirations. He, a
poor devil who seemed to be losing the power to earn
94a miserable ten dollars with his pen, he, whose carefully
prepared articles had been rejected again and again, often
without a word of explanation, he, the unsuccessful scribbler
of second-rate notices, had aspired, and did still
aspire, not only to marry Constance Fearing, but to earn
for himself such a position as should make him independent
of her fortune, so far as money was concerned,
and which, in the direction of personal reputation, should
place him in the first rank in his own country. Wonderful
things happened, sometimes, in the world of letters;
but, so far as he knew, they needed a considerable
time for their accomplishment. He was well advanced
in his twenty-sixth year already, and it was madness to
hope to achieve fame in less than ten years at the least.
In ten years, Constance would be two and thirty. He
had not thought of that before, and the idea filled him
with dismay. It seemed a great age, an absurd age for
marriage. And, after all, there was not the slightest
probability of her waiting for him. In the first place,
she did not love him, or, at least, she said that she did
not, and if her affection was not strong enough to declare
itself, it could hardly be taken into consideration as an
element in the great problem. The whole thing was
ridiculous, and he would give up the idea—if he could.
But he could not. He recognised that the thought of
Constance was the bright spot in his life, and that without
her image he should lose half his energy. In the
beginning, there had been a sort of complacent acquiescence
in the growth of his love, which made it seem as
though he had voluntarily set up an idol of his own
choosing, which he could change at will. But the idol
had begun to feed on his heart, and was already exerting
its mysterious, dominating influence over his actions and
beliefs. He began to concoct a philosophy of self-deception,
in the hope of obtaining a good result. It seemed
certain that he could never marry Constance—certain,
at all events, while this mood lasted—but he could still
dream of her and look forward to his union with her.
95The great day would come, of course, when she would
marry some one else, and when he should doubtless be
buried in the ruin of his dreams, but until then he would
sustain the illusion.
And what an illusion it was! The magnitude of it
appalled him. Penniless, almost; dependent for his
bread upon his ruined father; baffled at every turn;
taught by experience that he had none of the power he
seemed to feel—that was the list of his advantages, to
be set in the balance against those possessed by Constance
Fearing. George laughed bitterly to himself as he pursued
his way through the crowded streets. It struck
him that he must be a singularly unlucky man, and he
wondered how men felt upon whom fortune smiled perpetually,
who had never known what it meant to work
hard to earn a dollar, to whom money seemed as common
and necessary an element as air. He remembered indeed
the time when, as a boy, he had known luxury, and existed
in unbroken comfort, and the memory added a bitterness
to his present case. Nevertheless he was not downhearted.
Black as the world looked, he could look
blacker, he fancied, and make the cheeks of fortune
smart with the empty purse she had tossed in his face.
His walk quickened, and his fingers itched for the pen.
He was one of those men who harden and grow savage
under defeat, reserving such luxuries as despondency for
the hours of success.
Without the slightest hesitation, he set to work. He
scarcely knew how it was that he determined to write an
article upon critics and criticism; but when he sat down
to his table the idea was already present, and phrases of
direful import were seething in the fire of his brain.
All at once he realised how he hated the work he had
been doing, how he loathed himself for doing it, how he
detested those who had doled out to him his daily portion.
What a royal satisfaction it was to “sling ink,”
as the reporters called it! To heap his full-stocked
thesaurus of abuse upon somebody and something, and
96most especially upon himself, in his capacity as one of
the critics! To devote the whole profession to the perdition
of an everlasting contempt, to hold it up as a
target for the public wrath, to spit upon it, to stamp
upon it, to tear it to rags, and to scatter the tatters
abroad upon the tempest of his reprobation! The phrases
ran like wildfire along the paper, as he warmed to his
work, and dragged old-fashioned anathemas from the
closets of his memory to swell the hailstorm of epithets
that had fallen first. Anathema Maranatha! Damn
criticism! Damn the critics! Damn everything!
It was a very remarkable piece of work when it was
finished, more remarkable in some ways than anything
he ever produced afterwards, and if he had taken it to
Johnson in its original form, the pale young man’s future
career might have been endangered by a fit of sudden
and immoderate mirth. Fortunately, George already
knew the adage—is it not Hood’s?—which says “it is
the print that tells the tale.” He was well aware that
writing ink is to printers’ ink as a pencil drawing to a
painted canvas, and that what looks mild and almost
gentle when it appears in an irregular handwriting upon
a sheet of foolscap can seem startlingly forcible when
impressed upon perfectly new and very expensive paper,
in perfectly new and very expensive type. He read the
article over.
“Perhaps it is a little strong,” he said to himself,
with a grim smile, as he reviewed what he had written.
“I feel a little like Wellington revisiting Waterloo!”
Indeed, from the style of the discourse, one might
have supposed that George had published a dozen volumes
simultaneously, and that every critic in the civilised
world had sprung up and rent him with one accord.
“English Bards and Scotch Reviewers” was but milk and
water, with very little milk, compared with his onslaught.
The dead lay in heaps, as it were, in the track of his
destroying charge, and he had hanged, drawn and quartered
himself several times for his own satisfaction,
97gibbeting the quarters on every page. In his fury and
unquenchable thirst for vengeance, he had quoted whole
passages from notices he had written, only to tear them
to pieces and make bonfires of their remains.
“I think I had better wait a day or two,” he remarked,
as he folded up the manuscript and put it into a drawer
of his table.
It is characteristic of the profession and its necessities,
that, after having crushed and dismembered all critics,
past, present and to come, in the most complete and
satisfactory manner, George Wood laid his hand upon
the new volumes which he had last brought home and
proceeded during several days with the task of reviewing
them. Moreover, he did the work much better than
usual, taking an odd delight in affecting the attitude of
a gentle taster, and in using the very language he most
despised, just for the sake of persuading himself that he
was right in despising it. The two editors who had
given him work to do that week were surprised to find
that he had returned with such success to his former
style of writing. They were still further surprised when
an article entitled “Cheap Criticism” appeared, about
six weeks later, in a well known magazine, signed with
his name in full. They did not like it all.
George had recast the paper more than once, and at
last, when he had regretfully “rinsed all the starch out
of it,” as he said to himself, he had taken it to Johnson.
“I did not know that any modern human being could
use such violent language without swearing,” said the
pale young man, catching a phrase here and there as he
ran his eye over the manuscript.
“Do you call that violent?” asked George, delighted
to find that he had left his work more forcible than he
had supposed. “I wish you could have seen the first
copy! This looked like prayer and meditation compared
with it.”
“If you pray in that style,” remarked Johnson, “your
prayers will be at least heard, if they are not answered.
98They will attract attention in some quarter, though perhaps
not in the right one.”
George’s face fell.
“Do you think it is too red-hot?” he asked. “I have
been spreading butter on the public nose so long,” he
added, almost apologetically.
“Oleomargarine,” suggested Johnson. “It is rather
warm. That phrase—‘revelling in the contempt of
appearing contemptible’—I say, Wood, that is not
English, you know, and it’s a scorcher, too.”
“Not English!” exclaimed George, whose blood was
up at once. “Why not?”
“Because it is Volapück, or Malay—or something
else, I don’t know what it is, though I admit its force.”
“I do not see how I can put it, then. It is just what
we all feel.”
“Look here. You do not mean that your victim
despises himself for appearing to be despicable, do you?
He does, I dare say, but you wanted to hit him, not to
show that he is still capable of human feeling. I think
you meant to say that he rejoiced in his own indifference
to contempt.”
“I believe I did,” said George, relinquishing the contest
as soon as he saw he was wrong. “But ‘revel’ is
not bad. Let that stand, at least.”
“You cannot revel in indifference, can you?” asked
Johnson pitilessly.
“No. That is true. But it was English, all the same,
though it did not mean what I intended.”
“I think not. You would not say an author appears
green, would you? You would say he appears to be
green. Then why say that a critic appears contemptible?”
“You are always right, Johnson,” George answered
with a good-natured laugh. “I should have seen the
mistake in the proof.”
“But that is the most expensive way of seeing mistakes.
I will read this carefully, and I will send you
word to-morrow what I think of it.”
99“What makes you so quick at these things?” asked
George, as he rose to go.
“Habit. I read manuscript novels for a publishing
house here. I do it in the evening, when I can find
time. Yes—it is hard work, but it is interesting. I
am both prophet and historian. The book is the reality
which I see alternately from the point of view of the
future and the past.”
The result was that Johnson, who possessed much
more real power than George had imagined, wrote a
note, with which the manuscript was sent, and to
George’s amazement the paper was at once accepted and
put into type, and the proofs were sent to him. Moreover
the number of the magazine in which his composition
appeared was no sooner published than he received a
cheque, of which the amount at once demonstrated the
practical advantages of original writing as compared
with those of second-rate criticism.
With regard to the attention attracted by his article,
however, George was bitterly disappointed. He was on
the alert for the daily papers in which an account of
the contents of the periodicals is generally given, and
he expected at least a paragraph from each.
In the first one he took up, after an elaborate notice
of articles by known persons, he found the following
line:—
“Mr. George Winton Wood airs his views upon criticism
in the present number.”
That was all. There was not a remark, nor a hint at
the contents of his paper, nothing to break the icy irony
of the statement. He pondered long over the words, and
then crammed the open sheet into the waste-paper basket.
This was the first. There might be better in store for
him. On the evening of the same day he found another.
“An unknown writer has an article upon criticism,”
said the oracle, without further comment.
This was, if possible, worse. George felt inclined to
write to the editor and request that his name might be
100mentioned. It was a peculiarly hard case, as he had
reviewed books for this very paper during the last two
years, and was well known in the office. The third
remark was in one of those ghastly-spritely medleys
written under the heading of “Chit-Chat.”
“By the way,” inquired the reviewer, “who is Mr.
George Winton Wood? And why is he so angry with
the critics? And does anybody mind? And who is he,
any way?”
Half a dozen similar observations had the effect of
cooling George’s hopes of fame very considerably. They
probably did him good by eradicating a great deal of
nonsense from his dreams. He had before imagined
that in labouring at his book notices he had seen and
known the dreariest apartment in the literary workhouse,
forgetting that all he wrote appeared anonymously and
that he himself was shielded behind the ægis of a prosperous
newspaper’s name. He had not known that a
beginner is generally received, to use a French simile,
like a dog in a game of ninepins, with kicks and execrations,
unless he is treated with the cold indifference
which is harder to bear than any attack could be. And
yet, cruel as the method seems, it is the best one in most
cases, and saves the sufferer from far greater torments
in the future. What would happen if every beginner in
literature were received at the threshold with cakes and
ale, and were welcomed by a chorus of approving and
encouraging critics? The nine hundred out of every
thousand who try the profession and fail, would fail
almost as certainly a little later in their lives, and with
infinitely greater damage to their sensibilities. Moreover
the cakes and ale would have been unworthily
wasted, and the chorus of critics would have been necessarily
largely leavened with skilful liars, which, it is to
be hoped and believed, is not the case in the present
condition of criticism, in spite of George Wood and his
opinions. Is it better that boys should be allowed to
remain in school two or three years without being examined,
101and that the ignorant ones should then be put to
shame before their comrades? Or is it better that the
half-witted should be excluded from the first, and separately
taught? The question answers itself. We who,
rightly or wrongly, have fought our way into public
notice, have all, at one time or another, been made to
run the gauntlet of abuse, or to swim the dead sea of
indifference. The public knows little of our lives. It
remembers the first book of which everybody talked and
which, it foolishly supposed, represented our first
experiment in print. It knows nothing of the many
years of thankless labour in the columns of the daily
press, it has never heard of our first paper in a magazine,
nor of our pride at seeing our signature in a periodical
of some repute, nor of the sovereign contempt
with which the article and the name were received. The
comfortable public has never dreamed of the wretched
prices most of us received when we entered the ranks,
and, to be honest, there is no reason why it should. It
would be quite as sensible to found a society for the
purpose of condoling with school-boys during their examinations,
as to excite the public sympathy on behalf of
what one may call undergraduate authors. The weeding
at the beginning keeps the garden clean and gay—and
amputations must be performed in good time, if the
gangrene is to be arrested effectually.
George Wood, as has been said before, was not of the
kind to be despondent, though he was easily roused to
anger. The porcupine is an animal known to literature,
as well as a beast of the field, and the quills of the
literary porcupine can be very easily made to stand on
end. George was one of the species and, on the whole,
a very favourable specimen. Fortunately for those who
had accorded so little appreciation to his early efforts,
he was at that time imprisoned in the enclosure appropriated
to unknown persons. He bristled unseen and
wasted his wrath on the desert air. He had looked
forward to the publication of his first article, as to an
102emancipation from slavery, whereas he soon discovered
that he had only been advanced to a higher rank in
servitude. That is what most men find out when they
have looked forward to emancipation of any kind, and
wake up to find that instead of being chained to one side
of the wall, they are chained to the other.
George supposed that it would now be an easier matter
to get some of his former work into print. He had four
or five things in very tolerable shape, resting in a
drawer where he had put them when last rejected. He
got them out again, and again began to send them to
periodicals, without consulting his friend Johnson. To
his surprise, they were all returned without comment.
“Go and ask for a job,” said Johnson, the omniscient,
when he heard of the failure. “Suggestion on the part
of the editor is the better part of valour in the writer.”
“What do you mean?” asked George. He had supposed
that there was nothing he did not know in this
connection.
“They won’t take articles on general subjects without
a deal of interest and urging,” answered the other.
“Get introduced to them in person. I will do it with
most of them. Then go to them and say, ‘I am a very
remarkable young man, though you do not seem to know
it. I will write anything about anything in the earth
or under the earth. Sanskrit, botany and the differential
calculus are my especially strong points, but the North
Pole has great attractions for me, I am strong in theology
and political economy, and, if anything, I would
rather spend a year in writing up the Fiji Islands than
not. If you have nothing in this line, there is music
and high art, in which I am sound, I have a taste for
architecture and I understand practical lobster-fishing.
Have you anything for me to do?’ That is the way
to talk to these men,” Johnson added with a smile.
“Try it.”
George laughed.
“But that is not literature,” he objected.
103“Not literature? Everything that can be written
about is literature, just as everything that can be eaten
is man—in another form. You can learn as much English
in writing up lobster-fishing, as in trying to compose
a five-act tragedy, and you will be paid for it into the
bargain. Besides, if you are ever going to write anything
worth reading, you must see more and think less.
Don’t read books for a while; read things and people.
Thinking too much, without seeing, is like eating too
much—it makes your writing bilious.”
“This is the critic’s recipe for acquiring fame in letters!”
exclaimed George.
“Fame in letters is a sort of stuffed bugbear. You
can frighten children with it, but it belongs to the days
of witches and hobgoblins. The object of literature nowadays
is to amuse without doing harm. If you do that
well you will be famous and rich.”
“You are utterly cynical to-day, Johnson. Are you
in earnest in what you advise me to do?”
“Perfectly. Try everything. Offer your services to
write anything. Among all the magazines and weeklies
there is sure to be one that is in difficulties because it
cannot get some particular article written. Don’t be too
quick to say you understand the subject, if you don’t.
Say you will try it. A man may get up almost any subject
in six weeks, and it is a good thing for the mind,
once in a long time. Try everything, I say. Make a
stir. Let these people see you—make them see you, if
they don’t want to. It is not time lost. You can use
them all in your books some day. There is an age when it
is better to wear out shoe-leather than pens—when the
sweat of the brow is worth a dozen bottles of ink. Don’t
sit over your desk yelping your discontent, while your
real brain is rusting. Confound it all! It is the will
that does it, the stir, the energy, the beating at other
people’s doors, grinding up their stairs, making them
feel that they must not lose the chance of using a man
who can do so much, making them ashamed to send you
104away. Do you think I got to be where I am without a
rough and tumble fight at the first? Take everything
that comes into your way, do it as well as you know how,
with all your might, and keep up a constant howl for
more. They will respect you in spite of themselves.”
The pale young man’s steel-blue eyes flashed, the
purple veins stood out on his white clenched hands and
there was a smile of triumph in his face and a ring of
victory in his voice. He had fought them all and had
got what he wanted, by talent, by industry, but above all
by his restless and untiring energy, and he was proud
of it.
To George Wood, in his poverty, it seemed very little,
after all, to be the literary editor of a daily paper. That
was not the position he must win, if he would marry
Constance Fearing.
CHAPTER VIII.
The summer passed quickly away without bringing
any new element into George’s life. He did not reject
Johnson’s advice, but he did not follow it to the letter.
His instinct was against the method suggested by his
friend, and he felt that he had not the assurance to follow
it out. He was too sensitive and proud to employ
his courage in besieging persons who did not want him.
Nevertheless he found work to do, and his position was
improved, though his writings still failed to attract any
attention. He had imagined that there was but a step
from the composition of magazine articles to the making
of a book, but he soon discovered the fallacy of the idea,
and almost regretted the old days of “book-tasting.”
Meanwhile, his thoughts dwelt much on Constance,
and he adorned the temple of his idol with everything
upon which, figuratively speaking, he could lay his
hands. Strange to say, her absence during the summer
105was a relief to him. It made the weakness of his position
and the futility of his hopes seem less apparent, and
it gave him time to make at least a step in the direction
of success. He wrote to her, as often as he dared, and
twice in the course of the summer she answered with
short letters that had in his eyes a suspicious savour of
kindness rather than of anything even distantly approaching
to affection. Nevertheless those were great
days in his calendar on which these missives came. The
notes were read over every morning and evening until
Constance returned, and were put in a place of safety
during the day and night.
George looked forward with the greatest anxiety to
Miss Fearing’s return. He had long felt that her sister’s
antagonism was one of the numerous and apparently insurmountable
obstacles that barred his path, and he
dreaded lest Grace’s influence should, in the course of
the long summer, so work upon Constance’s mind as to
break the slender thread that bound her to him. As
regards Grace’s intention he was by no means wrong.
She lost no opportunity of explaining to Constance that
her friendship for George Wood was little short of ridiculous,
that the man knew he had no future and was in
pursuit of nothing but money, that his writings showed
that he belonged to the poorest class of amateurs, that
men who were to succeed were always heard of from boyhood,
at school, at college and in their first efforts and
that Constance was allowing her good nature to get the
better of her common-sense in encouraging such a fellow.
In short there was very little that Grace left unsaid. But
though George had foreseen all this, as Grace, on her
part, had determined beforehand upon her course of
action during the summer, neither Grace nor George had
understood the effect that such talk would produce upon
her whom it was meant to influence. There was in Constance’s
apparently gentle nature an element of quiet
resistance which, in reality, it was not hard to rouse.
Like many very good and very conscientious people, she
106detested advice and abominated interference, even on the
part of those she loved best. Her attachment for her
sister was sincere in its way, though not very strong,
and it did not extend to a blind respect for Grace’s opinions.
Grace could be wrong, like other people, and Grace
was hasty and hot-tempered, prejudiced and not free
from a certain sort of false pride. These were assuredly
not the defects of Constance’s character, at least in her
own opinion.
Her opposition was aroused and she began to show it.
Indeed, her two letters to George were both written immediately
after conversations had taken place in which
Grace had spoken of him with more than usual bitterness.
She felt as though she owed him some reparation
for the ill-treatment he got at her sister’s hands, and this
accounted in part for the flavour of kindness which
George detected in her words. The situation was further
strained by the arrival of one of the periodicals which
contained an article by him. The sisters both read it,
and Constance was pleased with it. In an indirect way,
too, she felt flattered, for it looked as though George
were beginning to follow her advice.
“It is trash,” said Grace authoritatively, as she threw
the magazine aside.
Constance allowed a full minute to elapse before she
answered, during which she seemed to be intently watching
the sail of a boat that was slowly working its way up
the river. The two girls had paused between one visit
and another to rest themselves in a place they owned
upon the Hudson. The weather was intensely hot, and
it was towards evening.
“It is not trash,” said Constance quietly. “You are
quite mistaken. You are completely blinded by your
prejudice.”
Grace was very much surprised, for it was unlike Constance
to turn upon her in such a way.
“I think it is trash for two reasons,” she said, with a
short laugh. “First, because my judgment tells me it
107is, and secondly because I know that George Wood could
not possibly write anything else.”
“You can hardly deny that you are prejudiced after
that speech. Do you know what you will do, if you go
on in this way? You will make me fall in love with
Mr. Wood and marry him, out of sheer contrariety.”
“Oh no!” laughed Grace. “You would not marry
him. At the last minute you would throw him over,
and then he would bring an action against you for breach
of promise with a view to the damages.”
Constance suddenly grew very pale. She turned from
the window where she was standing, crossed the small
room and stood still before her sister.
“Do you mean that?” she asked very coldly.
Grace was frightened, for the first time in her life,
but she did her best to hide it.
“What difference does it make to you, whether I mean
it or not?” she inquired with a rather scornful smile.
“This difference—that if you think such things, you
and I may as well part company before we quarrel any
further.”
“Ah—you love him, then? I did not know.” Grace
laughed nervously.
“I do not love him, but if I did I should not be
ashamed to say so to you or to the whole world. But I
like him very, very much, and I will not hear him talked
of as you talk of him. Do you understand?”
“Perfectly. Nothing could be clearer,” said Grace
with a contemptuous curl of the lip.
“Then I hope you will remember,” Constance answered.
Grace did remember. Indeed, for some time she
could think of nothing else. It seemed clear enough to
her that something more than friendship was needed to
account for the emotion she had seen in her sister’s face.
It was the first time in her recollection, too, that Constance
had ever been really angry, and Grace was not
inclined to rouse her anger a second time. She changed
108her tactics and ignored George Wood altogether, never
mentioning him nor reading anything that he sent to
Constance. But this mode of treating the question
proved unsatisfactory, for it was clear that Wood wrote
often, and there was nothing to prove that Constance
did not answer all his letters. Fortunately the two
sisters were rarely alone together during the rest of the
summer, and their opportunities of disagreeing were not
numerous. They were not in reality as fond of each other
as the world thought, or as they appeared to be. Their
natures were too different, and at the same time the
difference was not of that kind in which each character
seems to fill a want in the other. On the contrary the
points in which they were unlike were precisely those
which most irritated the other’s sensibilities. They had
never before quarrelled nor been so near to a quarrel as
they were in the course of the conversation just recorded,
but they were in reality very far from being harmonious.
The devoted affection of their mother had kept them
together while she had lived, and, to some extent, had
survived her, the memory of her still exercising a
strong influence over both. Constance, too, was naturally
very pacific, and rarely resented anything Grace
said, in jest or in earnest. Grace was often annoyed by
what she called her sister’s sweetness, and it was that
very quality which prevented the other from retaliating.
She had now shown that she could turn, and fiercely, if
once aroused, and Grace respected her the more for having
shown that she had a temper.
Enough has been said to show that George’s fear that
Constance would think less well of him through Grace’s
influence, was without foundation. She even went so
far as to send for him as soon as she returned to New
York in the autumn. It was a strange meeting, for
there was constraint on both sides, and at the same time
each felt the necessity of showing the other that no
change had taken place for the worse in their mutual
relations.
109Constance was surprised to find how very favourably
George Wood compared with the men she had seen during
the summer—men all more or less alike in her eyes,
but nevertheless representing in her imagination the
general type of what the gentleman is supposed to be,
the type of the man of her own class, the mate of her
own species. Grace had talked so much, in the early
part of the season, of George’s inferior social position,
of his awkward manner, and, generally, of his defects,
that Constance had almost feared to find that she had
been deceived at first and that there was a little truth
in her sister’s words. One glance, one phrase of his,
sufficed to set her mind at rest. He might have peculiarities,
but they were not apparent in his way of dressing,
of entering a room or of pronouncing the English
language. He was emphatically what he ought to be,
and she felt a keen pleasure in taking up her intercourse
with him at the point where it had been interrupted
more than four months earlier.
And now the exigencies of this history require that
we should pass rapidly over the period that followed.
It was an uneventful time for all concerned. George
Wood worked with all his might and produced some
very creditable papers on a variety of subjects, gradually
attracting a certain amount of notice to himself, and
advancing, as he supposed, as fast as was possible in his
career. Success, of the kind he craved, still seemed
very far away in the dim future, though there were not
wanting those who believed that he might not wait long
for it. Foremost among those was Constance Fearing.
To her there was a vast difference between the anonymous
scribbler of small notices whom she had known a
year ago, and the promising young writer who appeared
to her to have a reputation already, because most of her
friends now knew who he was, had read one or more of
his articles and were glad to meet him when occasion
offered. She felt indeed that he had not yet found out
his best talent, but her instinct told her that the time
110could not be very distant when it would break out of its
own impulse and surprise the world by its brilliancy.
That he actually possessed great and rare gifts she no
longer doubted.
Next to Constance, the Sherrington Trimms were the
loudest in their praise of George’s doings. Totty could
talk of nothing else when she came to the house in
Washington Square, and her husband never failed to
read everything George wrote, and to pat him on the
back after each fresh effort. Even George’s father began
to relent and to believe that there might be something
in literature after all. But he showed very little
enthusiasm until, one day, an old acquaintance with
whom he had not spoken for years, crossed the street
and shook hands with him, congratulated him upon his
boy’s “doing so well.” Then Jonah Wood felt that the
load of anxiety he had borne for so many years was suddenly
lifted from his shoulders. People thought his boy
was “doing well”! He had not hoped to be told that
spontaneously by any one for years to come. The
dreary look began to fade out of his grey face, giving
way to something that looked very like happiness.
George himself was the least appreciative of his own
success. Even Johnson, who was sparing of praise in
general, wrote occasional notes in his paper expressive
of his satisfaction at his friend’s work and generally
containing some bit of delicate criticism or learned
reference that lent them weight and caused them to be
reprinted into other newspapers.
So the winter came and went again and the month of
May came round once more. George was with Constance
one afternoon almost exactly a year from the day
on which he had first told her of his love. Their relations
had been very peaceful and pleasant of late, though
George was not so often alone with her as in former
times. The period of mourning for the girls’ mother
was past and many people came to the house. George
himself had gradually made numerous acquaintances and
111led a more social life than formerly, finding interest, as
Johnson had predicted, in watching people instead of
poring over books. He was asked to dinner by many
persons who had known his father and were anxious to
make amends for having judged him unjustly, and when
they had once received him into their houses, they liked
him and did what they could to show it. Moreover he
was modest and reticent in regard to himself and talked
well of current topics. Insensibly he had begun to
acquire social popularity and to forget much of his
boyish cynicism. He fancied that he went into society
merely because it sometimes gave him an opportunity of
meeting Constance, but he was too natural and young
not to like it for itself.
“Shall we not go out?” he asked, when he found her
alone in the drawing-room.
Constance looked up and smiled, as though she understood
his thought. He was afraid that Grace would
enter the room and spoil his visit, as had happened more
than once, and Constance feared the same thing. Neither
had ever said as much to the other, but there was a tacit
understanding between them, and their intimacy had
developed so far that Constance made no secret of wishing
to be alone with him when he came to the house.
She smiled in spite of herself and George smiled in
return.
“Yes. We can take a turn in the Square,” she said.
“It will be—cooler, you know.” A soft laugh seemed
to explain the hesitation, and George felt very happy.
A few minutes later they were walking side by side
under the great trees. Instinctively they kept away
from the Fearings’ house—Grace might chance to be at
the window.
“It was almost a year ago,” said George, suddenly.
“What?”
“That I told you I loved you. You think differently
of me now, do you not?”
“A little differently, perhaps,” Constance answered.
112Then, feeling that she was blushing, she turned her face
away and spoke rapidly. “Yes and no. I think more
of you—that is to say, I think better of you. You
have done so much in this year. I begin to see that you
are more energetic than I fancied you were.”
“Does it seem to you as though what I have done has
brought us any nearer together, you and me?”
“Nearer? Perhaps. I do not quite see how you
mean.” The blush had disappeared, and she looked
puzzled.
“I mean because I have begun—only begun—to make
something like a position for myself. If I succeed I
hope we shall seem nearer yet—nearer and nearer, till
there shall be no parting at all.”
“I think you mistake a letter in the word—you talk
as though you meant dearer, more than nearer—do you
not?” Constance laughed, and blushed again.
“If I said that you were making love to me—to-day,
as you said a year ago—would you answer that you
meant it—as I did?”
“What impertinence!” exclaimed Constance still
laughing lightly.
“No—but would you?”
“I cannot tell what I should do, if you said anything
so outrageous!”
“I love you. Is that outrageous and impertinent?”
“N—o. You say it very nicely—almost too nicely.
I am afraid you have said it before.”
“Often, though I cannot expect you to remember the
exact number of repetitions. How would you say it—if
you were obliged to say it? I have a good ear for a
tune. I could learn your music.”
“Could you?” Constance hesitated while they paused
in their walk and George looked into her eyes.
She saw something there that had not been present
when he had first spoken, a year ago. He had seemed
cold then, even to her inexperience. Now there was
both passion and tenderness in his look, and there was
sadness in his face.
113“You do love me now,” she said softly. “I can see
it.”
“And you, dear—will you not say the little words?”
Again she hesitated. Then she put out her hand and
touched his very gently. “I hate you, sir,” she said.
But she pronounced the syllables with infinite softness
and delicacy, and the music of her voice could not have
been more sweet if she had said “I love you, dear.”
Then she laughed again.
“I could hear you say that very often, without being
hurt,” said George tenderly.
“I only wanted to show you how I should say those
other words—if I would,” she answered.
“Is that all? Well—if there is a just proportion
between your hatred and your love and your way of
expressing them, your love must be——” he stopped.
“Must be what?”
“As great as mine. I cannot find anything stronger
than that to say—nor could you, if you knew.”
“So you love me, then. I wonder how long it will
last? When did it begin?”
“The second time I saw you.”
“Love at second sight! How romantic—so much
more original than at first sight, and so much more
natural. No—you must not take my hand—there are
people over there—and besides, there is no reason why
you should. I told you I hated you. There—walk
like a sensible being and talk about your work!”
“You are a strange creature, Constance.”
“Am I? Why do you call me Constance? I do not
call you George—indeed I do not like the name at all.”
“Nor I, if you do not—you can call me Constantine
if you like. That name would be more like yours.”
“I do not like my own. It makes me think of the
odiously good little girls in story books. Besides, what
is it? Why am I called Constance? Is it for the town
in Switzerland? I was never there. Is it for the virtue
I least possess?”
114“As your sister is called Grace,” suggested George.
“Hush! Grace is a very graceful girl. Take it in
that way, and leave her alone. Am I the English for
Constantia? Come, give me an explanation! Talk!
Say something! You are leaving the burden of the conversation
to me, and then you are not even listening!”
“I was thinking of you—I always am. What shall
I talk about? You are the only subject on which I
could be at all eloquent.”
“You might talk about yourself, for a change,” suggested
Constance.
“But you say you hate me, so that you would not find
an account of me agreeable, would you?”
“I think my hatred could be made very accommodating,
if you would talk pleasantly—even about yourself.”
“I would rather make love to you than talk.”
“I have no doubt you would, but that is just what I do
not want you to do. Besides, you have done it before—without
any result.”
“That is no reason for not trying again, is it?”
“Why try it at all?”
“Love is its own reason,” said George, “and it is the
reason for most other things as well. I love you and I
am not in search of reasons. I love you very, very much,
with all my heart—so much that I do not know how to
say it. My life is full of you. You are everywhere.
You are always with me. In everything I have done
since I have known you I have thought of you. I have
asked myself whether this would please you, whether
that would bring a smile to your dear face, whether these
words or those would speak to your heart and be sweet
to you. You are everything the world holds for me, the
sun that shines, the air I breathe. Without the thought
of you I could neither think nor work. If a man can
grow great by the thought of woman’s love, you can
make me one of the greatest—if men die of broken hearts
you can kill me—you are everything to me—life, breath
and happiness.”
115Constance was silent. He spoke passionately, and
there was an accent of truth in his low, vibrating voice,
that went to her heart. For one moment she almost felt
that she loved him in return, as she had often dreamed
of loving. That he was even now more to her than any
living being, she knew already.
“You like me,” he said presently. “You like me, you
are fond of me, you have often told me that I am your
best friend, the one of whom you think most. You let
me come when I will, you let me say all that is in my
heart to say, you let me tell you that I love you——”
“It is very sweet to hear,” said Constance softly.
“And it is sweet to say as well—dearest. Ah, Constance,
say it once, say that it is more than friendship,
more than liking, more than fondness that you feel.
What can it cost you to say it?”
“Would it make you very happy?”
“It would make this world heaven.”
Constance stopped in her walk, drew back a little from
his side, and looked at him.
“I will say it,” she said quietly. “I love you—yes, I
do. No—do not start—it is not much to hear, you must
not be too hopeful. I will tell you the truth—so, as we
stand—no nearer. It is not friendship nor fondness, nor
mere liking. It is love, but it is not what it should be.
Do you know why I tell you? Because I care too much
for your respect to let you think I am a miserable flirt,
to let you think that I am encouraging you and drawing
you on, without having the least heart in the matter.
You must think me very conscientious. Perhaps I am.
Yes, I have encouraged you, I have drawn you on,
because I like to hear you say what you so often say of
late, that you love me. It is very sweet to hear, as I
told you just now. And, do you know? I wish I could
say the same things to you, and feel them. But I do not
love you enough, I am not sure of my love, it is greater
to-day and less to-morrow, and I will not give you little
where you give me so much. You know my secret now.
116You may hope, if you will. I am not deceiving you. I
may love you more and more, and the day when I feel
that it is all strong and true and whole and sound and
unchangeable I will marry you. But I will not promise.
I will not run the risk so long as I feel that my love may
turn again into friendship next week—or next year. Do
you see? Have you understood me? Is it all clear now?”
“I understand your words, dear, but not your heart.
I thank you——”
“No. Do not thank me. Come, let us walk on, slowly.
Do you know that it has been the same with you, though
you will not admit it? You did not love me a year ago,
as you do now, did you?”
“No. That was impossible. I love you more and more
every day, every week, every month.”
“A year ago it would have been quite possible for you
to have forgotten me and loved some other woman. You
did not look at me as you do now. Your voice had not
the same ring in it.”
“I daresay not—I have changed. I can feel it.”
“Yes, and it is because I have watched you changing
in one way, that I am afraid I may change in the other.”
George was very much surprised and at the same time
was made very happy by what she had told him. He
had indeed suspected the truth, and it was not enough to
have heard her say the words “I love you” in the calm
and reasoning tone she had used. But on the other
hand, there was something brilliantly honest about her
confession, that filled him with hope and delight. If a
woman so true once loved with all her heart, she would
love longer and better and more truly than other women
can. So at least thought George Wood, as he walked by
her side beneath the trees in Washington Square, and
glanced from time to time at her lovely blushing face.
“I thank you, dear, with all my heart,” he said after
a long pause.
“There is little enough to thank me for. It seems to
me that I could not have done less. Would it have been
117honest and right to let things go on as they were going
without an explanation?”
“Perhaps not. But most women would have done
nothing. I understand you better now, I think—if a
man can ever understand a woman at all.”
“I do not understand myself,” Constance answered
thoughtfully. “Promise me one thing,” she added,
looking up quickly into his face.
“Anything in the world,” he said.
“Anything? Then promise me that what I have said
to-day shall make no difference in the way we meet, and
that you will behave just as you did before.”
“Indeed I will. What difference could it make? I do
not see.”
“Well, it might. Remember that we are not engaged
to be married——”
“Oh, that? Of course not. I am engaged to you, but
you are not engaged to me. Is that it?”
“Better not think of any engagement at all. It can
do no good. Love me if you will, but do not consider
yourself bound.”
“If you will tell me how I can love you without feeling
bound to you, perhaps I will try and obey your commands.
It must be a very complicated thing.” George
laughed happily.
“Well, do as you will,” said Constance. “Only be
honest with me, as I have been with you. If a time
comes when you feel that you love me less, tell me so
frankly, and let there be an end. Will you?”
“Yes. I am not afraid. The day will never come.”
“Never is thought to be an old-fashioned word, I believe—like
always. Will you do something else to please
me—something to pay me for my honesty?”
“Anything—everything.”
“Write a book, then. It is time you did it.”
George did not answer at once. There was nothing
which he really wished more to accomplish than what
Constance asked of him, and yet, in spite of years of literary
118work and endless preparation, there was nothing
for which he really felt himself less fitted. He was
conscious that fragments of novels were constantly floating
through his brain and that scenes formed themselves
and conversations arranged themselves spontaneously in
his mind when he least expected it; but everything was
vague and unsettled, he had neither plot nor plan,
neither the persons of the drama nor the scene of their
action, neither beginning nor continuation, nor end. To
promise to write a book now, this very year, seemed
like madness. And yet he was beginning to fear lest
he should put off the task until it should be too late.
He was in his twenty-seventh year, and in his own
estimation was approaching perilously near to thirty.
“Why do you ask me to do it now?” he inquired.
“Because it is time, and because if you go on much
longer with these short things you will never do anything
else.”
“I only do it as a preparation, as a step. Honestly, I
do not feel that I know enough to write a good book, and
I should be sorry to write a bad one.”
“Never mind. Make a beginning. It can do no harm
to try. You have written a great deal lately and you
can leave the magazines alone for a while. Shall I tell
you what I would like?”
“Yes—what?”
“I would like you to write your book and bring the
chapters as you write them, and read them to me one by
one.”
“Would you really like that?”
“Indeed I would.”
“Then I will do it. I mean that I will try, for I am
sure I cannot succeed. But—you did not think of that—where
can we read without being interrupted? I do
not propose to give your sister the benefit——”
“In Central Park—on fine days. There are quiet
places there.”
“Will you go there with me alone?” George asked in
some surprise.
119“Yes. Why not? Have I not told you that I love
you—a little?”
“I bless you for it, dear,” said George.
And so they parted.
CHAPTER IX.
George felt like a man who has committed himself to
take part in some public competition although not properly
prepared for the contest, and during the night that
succeeded his last meeting with Constance he slept
little. He had promised to write a book. That was
bad enough, considering that he felt so little fitted for
the task. But, at least, if he had undertaken to finish
the work, revise it and polish it and eliminate all the
errors he could discover before bringing it to Miss Fearing
in its final shape, he could have comforted himself
with the thought that the first follies he committed would
be known only to himself. He had promised, however,
to read the chapters to Constance as he wrote them, one
by one, and the thought filled him with dismay. The
charming prospect of numberless meetings with her was
marred by the fear of being ridiculous in her eyes. It
was for her alone that the book was to be written. It
would be a failure and he would not even attempt to
publish it, but the certainty that the public would not
witness his discomfiture brought no consolation with it.
Better a thousand times to be laughed at by the critics
than to see a pained look of disappointment in Constance’s
eyes. Nevertheless he considered his promise
sacred, and, after all, it was Constance who had driven
him to make it. He had protested his incapacity as
well as he could. She would see that he had been right
and would acknowledge the wisdom of waiting a little
longer before making the great attempt.
At first, he felt as though he were in a nightmare, in
120a dim labyrinth from which he had pledged himself to
find an escape in a given time. His nerves, for the first
time in his life, played him false. He grew suddenly
hot, and then as suddenly cold again. Attempting to
fix his imagination, monstrous faces presented themselves
before his eyes in the dark, and he heard fragments
of conversation in which there were long sentences
that meant nothing. He lit a candle and sat up in bed,
clasping his forehead with his long, smooth fingers, and
beginning to feel that he knew what despair really
meant.
This then was the result of years of preparation, of
patient practice with the pen, of thoughtful reading and
careful study. He had always felt that he lacked the
imagination necessary for producing a novel, and now
he felt sure of it. Johnson had told him that he was no
critic, and he had believed Johnson, because Johnson
was himself the best critic he knew. What then was
he? A writer of short papers and articles. Yes, he
could do that. How easily now, at this very moment,
could he think of half a dozen subjects for such work,
and how neatly he could put them into shape, develop
them in a certain number of pages and polish them to
the proper degree of brilliancy!
The morning dawned and found him still searching
and beating his brain for a subject. As the light
increased he felt more and more nervous. It was not
in his nature to put off the beginning upon which he
had determined, and he knew that on that day he must
write the first words of his first book, or forfeit his self-respect
for ever. There was an eminently comic side to
the situation, but he could not see it. His dread of
being ridiculous in the eyes of the woman he loved was
great enough to keep him from contemplating the
absurdity of his case. His sensations became intolerable;
he felt like a doomed man awaiting his execution,
whose only chance of a reprieve lay in inventing a plot
for a novel. He could bear it no longer, and he got out
121of bed and opened his window. The fresh air of the
May morning rushed in and suddenly filled the room
with sweetness and his excited brain with a new sense
of possibilities. He sat down at his table without
thinking of dressing himself, and took up his pen. A
sheet of paper lay ready before him, and the habit of
writing was strong in itself—too strong to be resisted.
In a few minutes that white sheet would be covered with
words that would mean something, and those words
would be the beginning of his book, of the novel he was
about to write but of the contents of which he had not
the remotest conception. This was not the way he had
anticipated the commencement of the work that was to
lay the first stone of his reputation. He had fancied
himself sitting down to that first page, calm and collected,
armed with a plot already thoroughly elaborated,
charmed beforehand with the characters of his own
invention, carried away from the first by the spirit of
the action, cheered at every page by the certainty of
success, because failure was to have been excluded by
the multiplicity of his precautions. And here he was,
without an idea in his brain or the least subject for an
excuse, beginning a romance which was to be judged
step by step by the person of all others most dear to
him.
George dipped his pen into the ink a second time and
then glanced at the calendar. It was the fifth of May.
“Well,” he said aloud, “there is luck in odd numbers.
Here goes my first novel!”
And thereupon, to his own great surprise, he began
writing rapidly. He did not know what was coming, he
hardly knew whether his hero had black hair or brown,
and as for the heroine, he had not thought of her at all.
But the hero was himself and was passing a night of great
anxiety and distress in a small room, in a small house, in
the city of New York. The reason of his anxiety and distress
was a profound secret as yet, because George had
not invented it, but there was no difficulty in depicting
122his state of mind. The writer had just spent that very
night himself, and was describing it while the sun was
yet scarcely risen. He chuckled viciously as he drove
his pen along the lines and wrote out the ready phrases
that rushed into his brain. It was inexpressibly comic
to be giving all the details of his hero’s suffering without
having the smallest idea of what caused it; but, as
he went on, he found that his silence upon this important
point was lending an uncanny air of mystery to his
first chapter, and his own interest was unexpectedly
aroused.
It seemed strange, too, to find himself at liberty to
devote as much space as he pleased to the elaboration of
details that attracted his attention, and to feel that he
was not limited in space as he had hitherto been in all
he wrote. Of course, when he stopped to think of what
he was to do next, he was as much convinced as ever
that nothing could come of his attempt beyond this first
chapter. The whole affair was like a sort of trial gallop
over the paper, and doubtless when he read over what he
had written he would be convinced of its worthlessness.
He remembered his first fiery article upon the critics,
and the wholesale cutting and pruning it had required
before he could even submit it to Johnson. Then, however,
he had written under the influence of anger; now,
he was conscious of a new pleasure in every sentence,
his ideas came smoothly to the surface and his own
language had a freshness which he did not recognise.
In old times he had studied the manner of great writers
in the attempt to improve his own, and his style had
been subject to violent attacks of Carlyle and to lucid
intervals of Macaulay, he had worshipped at Ruskin’s
exquisite shrine and had offered incense in Landor’s
classic temple, he had eaten of Thackeray’s salt and had
drunk long draughts from Dickens’s loving-cup. Perhaps
each had produced its effect, but now he was no longer
conscious of receiving influence from any of them. For
the first time in his life he was himself, for better, for
123worse, to fail or to succeed. His soul and his consciousness
expanded together in a new and intoxicating life,
as he struck those first reckless strokes in the delicious
waters of the unknown.
He forgot everything, dress, breakfast, his father, the
time of day and the time of year, and when he rose from
his seat he had written the first chapter of his novel.
For some occult reason he had stopped suddenly and
dropped his pen. He knew instinctively that he had
reached his first halting-place, and he paused for breath,
left the table and went to the window. To his astonishment
the sun was already casting shadows in the little
brick yard, and he knew that it must be past noon. He
looked at himself and saw that he was not dressed, then
he looked at his watch and found that it was one o’clock.
He rubbed his eyes, for it had all been like a dream,
like a vision of fairyland, like a night spent at the play.
On the table lay many pages of closely-written matter,
numbered and neatly put together by sheer force of
habit. He hardly knew what they contained, and he
was quite unable to recall the words that opened the
first paragraph. But he knew the last sentence by heart,
for it was still ringing in his brain, and strange to say,
he knew what was to come next, though he seemed not
to have known it so long as he held his pen. While he
dressed himself the whole book, confused in its details
but clear in its general outline, presented itself to his
contemplation, and he knew that he should write it as
he saw it. It would assuredly not be a good novel, it
would never be published, and he was wasting his time,
but it would be a book, and he should keep his promise
to Constance. He went downstairs and found his father
at luncheon, with a newspaper beside him.
“Well, George,” said the old gentleman, “I thought
you were never going to get up.”
“I am not quite sure that I have been to bed,” answered
the young man. “But I know that I have been writing
since it was daylight and have had no breakfast.”
124“That is a bad way of beginning the day,” said Jonah
Wood, shaking his head. “You will derange your
digestion by these habits. It is idle to try such experiments
on the human frame.”
“It was quite an unwilling experiment. I forgot all
about eating. I had some work that had to be done and
so I put it through.”
“More articles?” inquired his father with kindly
interest.
“I believe I am writing a book,” said George. “It
is a new sensation and very exhilarating, but I cannot
tell you anything about it till I have got on with it
further.”
“A book, eh? Well, I wish you success, George. I
hope you are well prepared and that you will do nothing
hasty or ill considered.”
“No, indeed!” exclaimed George with a laugh.
Hasty and ill considered! Could any two epithets
better describe the way in which he had gone to work?
What rubbish it would be when it was finished, he
thought, as he attacked the cold meat and pickles. He
realised that he was desperately hungry, and unaccountably
gay considering that he anticipated a total failure,
and it was surprising that while he believed that he had
been producing trash he should be in such a hurry to
finish his meal in order to produce more. Nothing,
however, seemed to be of the slightest importance, except
to write as fast as he could in order to have plenty of
manuscript to read to Constance at the first opportunity.
That night before going to bed he sat down in a comfortable
chair, lit a pipe and read over what he had
written. It must be very poor stuff, of course, he considered,
because he had turned it out so quickly; but he
experienced one of the great pleasures of his life in
reading it over. The phrases sent thrills of satisfaction
through him and his hand trembled as he took up one
sheet after another. It was strange that he should be
able to take such delight in what must manifestly be so
125bad. But, bad or not, the thing was alive, and the
characters were his companions, whispering in his ear
the words that they were to speak, and bringing with
them their individual atmospheres, while a sort of
secondary and almost unconscious imagination performed
the scene-shifting in a smooth and masterly fashion.
Three days later, he sat beside Constance Fearing upon
a wooden bench in a retired nook in Central Park. The
weather was gloriously beautiful, and the whole world
smelt of violets and sunshine. Everything was fresh
and peaceful, and the stillness was broken only by the
voices of laughing children who played together a hundred
yards away from where the pair were sitting.
“And now, begin,” said Constance eagerly, as George
produced his folded manuscript.
“It is horrible stuff,” he said. “I had really much
rather not read it.”
“Shall I go away?”
“No.”
“Then read!”
A great wave of timidity came over the young man in
that moment. He could not account for it, for he had
often read to Constance the manuscript of his short
articles. But this seemed very different. He let the
folded sheets rest on his knee, and gazed into the distance,
seeing nothing and wishing that he might sink
through the earth into his own room. To judge from
the sensation in his throat, he would not be able to read
at all. Then all at once, he grew cold. He had undertaken
to do this thing and he must carry it through, come
what might. Constance would not laugh at him, and she
would be just. He wished that she were Johnson, for it
would be easier.
“I am waiting,” she said with a gentle smile. George
laughed.
“I never was so frightened in my life,” he said. “I
know what stage fright is, now.”
Constance looked at him, and she liked his timidity
126more than she had often liked his boldness. She felt
that she loved him a little more than before. Her voice
was very soft when she spoke.
“Are you afraid of me, dear?” she asked.
The blood came to George’s face. It was the first
time she had ever used an endearing expression in
speaking to him.
“Not since you have said that,” he answered, opening
the sheets.
He read the first chapter, and she did not interrupt
him. Occasionally he glanced at her face. It was very
grave and thoughtful, and he could not guess what was
passing in her mind.
“That is the end of the first chapter,” he said at last.
“Do you like it?”
“Go on!” she exclaimed quickly without heeding his
question.
George did as he was bidden and read on to the end of
what he had brought. Whatever Constance might think
of the work, she was evidently anxious to hear it, and
this fact at least gave him a little courage. When he
had finished, he folded up the sheets quickly and returned
them to his pocket, without looking at his companion’s
face. He did not dare ask her again for her opinion and
he waited for her to speak. But she said nothing and
leaned back in her seat, apparently contemplating the
trees.
“Would you like to walk a little?” George asked in
an unsteady voice. He now took it for granted that she
was not pleased.
“Do you want to know what I think of your three
chapters?”
“Yes, please,” he answered nervously.
“They are very, very good. They are as much better
than anything you have ever done before, as champagne
is better than soda-water.”
“Not really!” George exclaimed in genuine and overwhelming
surprise. “You are not in earnest?”
127“Indeed I am,” Constance answered, with some impatience.
“Do you think I would say such a thing if I were
not sure of it? Do you not feel it yourself? Did you
not know it when you were writing?”
“No—I thought, because it was written so fast it
could not be worth much. Indeed, I think so still—I
am afraid that you are——”
“Mistaken?”
“Perhaps—carried away because you like me, or
because you think I ought to write well.”
“Nonsense. Promise me that you will not show this
book to any one until it is quite finished. I want you to
take my word for it, to believe in my judgment, because
I know I am right. Will you?”
“Of course I will. To whom should I show it? I
think I should be ashamed.”
“You need not be ashamed if you go on in that way.
When will you have written more?”
“Give me three days—that will give you three chapters
at least and take you well into the story. You are
not going out of town yet.”
“I shall not go until it is finished,” said Constance
with great determination. She had made up her mind
that George would write better if he wrote very fast,
and she meant to urge him to do his utmost.
“But that may take a long time,” he objected.
“No it will not,” she answered. “You would not
keep me in New York when it is too hot, would you?”
“I will do my best,” said George.
He kept his word and three weeks later he sat in his
room, in the small hours of the morning, writing the last
page of his first novel. He was in a state of indescribable
excitement, though he seemed to be no longer thinking
at all. The pen seemed to do the work of itself and
he followed the words that appeared so quickly with a
feverish interest. He had not the least idea how it
would all look when it was done, but something told him
that it was being done in the right way. His hand flew
128from side to side of the paper, and then stopped suddenly,
why, he could not tell. It was not possible that
there should be nothing more to say, no more to add, not
one word to make the completion more complete. He
collected his thoughts and read the page over carefully to
the end. No—there was nothing wanting, and one word
more would spoil the conclusion.
“I do not understand why, I am sure,” he said to himself.
“But that is the end, and there is no doubt about
it. So here it goes! George—Winton—Wood—May
29th.”
He pushed the sheet away from him. Rather theatrical,
he thought, to sign his name to it, as though it
were a real book, and as though the manuscript were
worth keeping. He had done it all to please Constance,
and Constance was pleased. In twenty-four days he
had concocted a novel—and he had never in his life
enjoyed twenty-four days so much. That was because
he had seen Constance so often and because this wretched
scroll had amused her. Would she like the last three
chapters? Of course she would. He would take her the
whole manuscript and make her a present of it. That
was all it could be good for. To publish such stuff would
be folly, even if any publisher could be found to abet
such madness. On the whole, he would prefer to throw
the whole into the fire. Nobody could tell. He might
be famous some day in the far future, and then when he
was dead and gone and could not interfere any longer,
some abominable literary executor would get hold of this
thing and print it, and show the world what an egregious
ass the celebrated George Winton Wood had been when he
was a very young man. But Constance could have it if she
liked, on condition that it was never shown to anybody.
Thereupon George tumbled into bed and slept soundly
until ten o’clock on the following morning, when he
gathered up his manuscript, tied it up into a neat bundle
and went to meet Constance at their accustomed trysting-place
in the Park.
129There were some very striking passages towards the
conclusion of the book, and George read them as well as
he could. Indeed as many of the best speeches were put
into the mouth of the hero and were supposed to be addressed
to the lady of his affections, George found it
very natural to speak them to Constance and to give
them a very tender emphasis. It was clear, too, that
Constance understood the real intention of the love-making
and, to all appearance, appreciated it, for the colour
came and went softly in her face, and there was sometimes
a little moisture in her eyes and sometimes a light
that is not caused by mere interest in an everyday novel.
George wrote better than he talked, as many men do who
are born writers. There was music in his phrases, but
it was the music of pure nature and not the rhythm of a
studied prose. That was what most struck the attention
of the young girl who sat beside him, drinking in the
words which she knew were meant for her, and which
she felt were more beautiful than anything she had heard
before.
To tell the truth, though she had spoken her admiration
very frankly and forcibly, she was beginning to
doubt her own ability to judge of the work. If George’s
talent were really as great as it now seemed to her, how
had it remained concealed so long? There had been
nothing to compare with this in his numerous short writings.
Was this because they had not been addressed to
herself, or was it for this very reason that his novel was
so much more fascinating? Or was it really because he
had at last found out his strength and was beginning to
use it like a giant? She could not tell. She confessed to
herself that she had assumed much in setting up her
judgment as a standard for him in the matter. The more
he had read, the more she had been amazed at his knowledge
of things and men, at his easy versatility and at the
power he displayed in the more dramatic parts of the
book. Of one thing she felt sure. The book would be
read and would be liked by the class of people with whom
130she associated. What the critics might think or say
about it was another matter.
She had been prepared for something well done at the
last, but she had not anticipated the ending—that ending
which had so much surprised the writer himself in
his inexperience of his own powers. His voice trembled
as he read the last page, and he was not even conscious
of being ashamed of showing so much feeling about the
creatures of his imagination. He was aware, as in a
dream that Constance’s small hand was tightly clasped
in his while he was reading, and then, as his voice
ceased, he felt her head resting against his shoulder.
She was looking down and he could only see that there
was colour in her face, but as he gazed at the tiny fair
curls that were just visible to him, he saw a crystal tear
fall upon his rough sleeve and glisten in the May sunlight.
“You have dropped one of your diamonds,” he said,
softly. “Is it for me—or for the man in the book?”
She looked up into his face with a happy smile.
“You should know best,” she answered.
Her face was very near to his, and though his came
nearer, she did not draw hers away. George forgot the
nurses and the children in the distance. If all his
assembled acquaintances had been drawn up in ranks
before him, he would have forgotten their presence too.
His lips touched her cheek, not timidly, nor roughly
either, though he felt for one moment that his blood was
on fire. Then she drew back quickly and took her hand
from his.
“It is very wrong of me,” she said. “Perhaps I shall
never love you enough for that.”
“How can you say so? Was it for the man in the
book, then, after all?”
“I do not know—forget it. It may come some
day——”
“Is it nearer than it was? Is it any nearer?” George
asked, very tenderly.
131“I do not know. I am very foolish. Your book
moved me I suppose—it is so grand, that last part,
where he tells her the truth, and she sees how noble he
has been all through.”
“I am glad you have liked it so much. It was written
to amuse you, and it has done that, at all events. So
here it is. Do you care to keep it?”
Constance looked at him in surprise, not understanding
what he meant.
“Of course I want it,” she answered. “After it is
printed give it back to me.”
“Printed!” exclaimed George, contemptuously. “Do
you think anybody would publish it? Do you really
think I would offer it to anybody?”
“You are not serious,” said the young girl, staring at
him.
“Indeed I am in earnest. Do you believe a novel can
be dashed off in that way, in three or four weeks and be
good for anything? Why, it needs six months at least
to write a book!”
“What do you call this?” Constance asked, growing
suddenly cold and taking the manuscript from his hands.
“Not a book, certainly. It is a scrawl of some sort,
a little better than a dime novel, a little poorer than
the last thrilling tale in a cheap weekly. Whatever it
is, it is not a publishable story.”
Constance could not believe her ears. She did not
know whether to be angry at his persistent contempt of
her opinion, or to be frightened at the possibility of his
being right.
“We cannot both be right,” she said at last, with sudden
energy. “One of us two must be an idiot—an
absolute idiot—and—well, I would rather not think
that I am the one, you know.”
George laughed and tried to take the manuscript back,
but she held it behind her and faced him.
“What are you going to do with it?” he asked, when
he saw that she was determined to keep it.
132“I will not tell you. Did you not say you had written
it for me?”
“Yes, but for you alone.”
“Not at all. It is my property, and I will make any
use of it I like.”
“Please do not show it to any one,” he said very earnestly.
“I promise nothing. It is mine to dispose of as I see
fit.”
“Let me look over it at least—I am sure it is full of
bad English, and there are lots of words left out, and
the punctuation is erratic. Give me that chance.”
“No. I will not. You can do it on the proof. You
are always telling me of what you do on the proofs of
things.”
“Constance! For Heaven’s sake give it back to me
and think no more about it.”
“Do you love me?”
“You know I do——”
“And do you want me to love you?—I may, you
know.”
“I want nothing else—but, Constance, I beg of
you——”
“Then apply your gigantic intellect to the contemplation
of what concerns you. To be short, mind your own
business, and go home.”
“Please——”
“If you are not gone before I count five, I shall hate
you. I am beginning—one—two——”
“Well, there is one satisfaction,” said George, abandoning
the contest, “if you send it to a publisher to read,
you will never see it again, nor hear of it.”
“I will stand over him while he reads it,” said Constance,
laughing. “If you are good you can take me to
the carriage—if not, go away.”
George walked by her side and helped her into the
brougham that waited for her a short distance from the
place where they had sat. He was utterly overcome by
133the novelty of the situation and did not even attempt to
speak.
“It is a great book,” said Constance, speaking through
the open window after he had shut the door. “Tell him
to go home.”
“I do not care a straw what it is, so long as it has
pleased you. Home, John!”
“Yes sir.”
And away the carriage rolled. Constance had not
determined what she should do with her prize, but she
was not long in making up her mind. George had often
spoken of his friend Johnson, and had shown her articles
written by him. It struck her that he would be the
very person to whom she might apply for help. George
would never suspect her of having gone to him and, from
all accounts, he was an extremely reticent and judicious
personage. She told the coachman to drive her to the
office of the newspaper to which Johnson belonged and
to beguile the time she began to read the manuscript
over again from the beginning. When the carriage
stopped she did not know that she had been driving for
more than an hour since she had left George standing in
the road in the Park.
CHAPTER X.
Constance did not find Johnson without asking her
way many times, and losing it nearly as often, in the
huge new building which was the residence and habitation
of the newspaper. Nor did her appearance fail to
excite surprise and admiration in the numerous reporters,
messengers and other members of the establishment who
had glimpses of her as she passed rapidly on, from corridor
to corridor. It happened that Johnson was in the
room allotted to his department, which was not always the
case at that hour, for he did much of his work at his home.
134“Come in!” he said sharply, without looking up from
his writing. “Well—what is it? Oh!” as he saw Miss
Fearing standing before him. “I beg your pardon,
madam!”
“Are you Mr. Johnson? Am I disturbing you?” Constance
asked. She was beginning to be surprised at her
own audacity, and almost wished she had not come.
“Yes madam. My name is Johnson, and my time is
at your service,” said the pale young man, moving forward
his best chair and offering it to her.
“Thank you. I will not trouble you long. I have
here a novel in manuscript——”
Johnson interrupted her promptly.
“Excuse me, madam, but to avoid all misunderstanding,
I should tell you frankly from the first that we
never publish fiction——”
“No, of course not,” Constance broke in. “Let me
tell my story.”
Johnson bowed his head and assumed an attitude of
attention.
“A friend of yours,” the young girl continued, “has
written this book. His name is Mr. George Winton
Wood——”
“I know him very well.” Johnson wondered why
George had not come himself, and wondered especially
how he happened to dispose of so young and beautiful
an ambassadress.
“Yes—he has often told me about you,” said Constance.
“Very well. He has written this novel, and I
have read it. He thinks it is not worth publishing, and
I think it is. I want to ask a great favour of you. Will
you read it yourself?”
The pale young man hesitated. He was intensely
conscientious, and he feared there was something queer
about the business.
“Pardon me,” he said, “does Mr. Wood know that
you have brought it to me?”
“No indeed! I would not have him know it for the
world!”
135“Then I would rather not——”
“But you must!” Constance exclaimed energetically.
“It is splendid, and he wants to burn it. It will make
his reputation in a day—I assure you it will! And
besides, I would not promise him not to show it. Please,
please, Mr. Johnson——”
“Well, if you are quite sure there is no promise——”
“Oh, quite, quite sure. And will you give me your
opinion very soon? If you begin to read it you will not
be able to lay it down.”
Johnson smiled as he thought of the hundreds of
manuscripts he had read for publishers. He had never
found much difficulty in laying aside any of them.
“It is true,” Constance insisted. “It is a great book.
There has been nothing like it for ever so many years.”
“Very well, madam. Give me the screed and I will
read it. When shall I send—or would you rather——”
He stopped, not knowing whether she wished to give
her name. Constance hesitated, too, and blushed faintly.
“I am Miss Fearing,” she said. “I live in Washington
Square. Will you write down the address? Come
and see me—or are you too busy?”
“I will bring you the manuscript the day after to-morrow,
Miss Fearing.”
“Oh please, yes. Not later, because I cannot go out of
town until I know—I mean, I want to go to Newport
as soon as possible. Come after five. Will you? I
mean if it is not giving you really too much trouble——”
“Not in the least, Miss Fearing,” said the pale young
man with alacrity. He was thinking that for the sake
of conversing a quarter of an hour with such an exceedingly
amiable young lady, he would put himself to vastly
more trouble than was involved in stopping at Washington
Square on his way up town in the afternoon.
“Thank you. You are so kind. Good-bye, Mr.
Johnson.” She held out her hand, but Johnson seized
his hat and prepared to accompany her.
“Let me take you to the Elevated, Miss Fearing,” he
said.
136“Thank you very much, but I have a carriage downstairs,”
said Constance. “If you would show me the
way—it is so very complicated.”
“Certainly, Miss Fearing.”
Constance wondered why he repeated her name so
often, whether it was a habit he had, or whether he was
nervous, or whether he thought it good manners. She
was not so much impressed with him at first sight as she
had expected to be. He had not said anything at all
clever, though it was true that there had not been many
opportunities for wit in the conversation that had taken
place. He belonged to a type with which she was not
familiar, and she could not help asking herself whether
George had other friends like him, who, if she knew
them, would call her by her name half a dozen times in
three minutes, and if he had many of them whether, in
the event of her marrying him, she would be expected
to know them all and to like them for his sake. Not
that there was anything common or vulgar about this
Johnson whom George praised so much. He spoke
quietly, without any especial accent, and quite without
affectation. He was dressed with perfect simplicity and
good taste, there was nothing awkward in his manner—indeed
Constance vaguely wished that he might have
shown some little awkwardness or shyness. He was
evidently a man of the highest education, and George
said he was a man of the highest intelligence, but as
Constance gave him her hand and he closed the door of
the brougham, the impression came over her with startling
vividness, that Mr. Johnson was emphatically not a
man she would ask to dinner. She felt sure that if she
met him in society she should feel a vague surprise at
his being there, though she might find it impossible to
say why he should not. On the other hand, though she
was aware that she put herself in his power to some
extent, since it was impossible that he should not guess
that her interest in George Wood was the result of something
at least a little stronger than ordinary friendship,
137yet she very much preferred to trust this stranger rather
than to confide in any of the men she knew in society,
not excepting John Bond himself.
At five o’clock on the day agreed upon, Constance was
informed that “a gentleman, a Mr. Johnson,” had called,
saying that he came by appointment.
“You are so kind,” said Constance, as he sat down
opposite to her. He held the manuscript in his hand.
“And what do you think of it? Am I not right?”
“I am very much surprised,” said the pale young man.
“It is a remarkable book, Miss Fearing, and it ought to
be published at once.”
Constance had felt sure of the answer, but she blushed
with pleasure, a fact which did not escape Johnson’s
quiet scrutiny.
“You really think Mr. Wood has talent?” she asked,
for the sake of hearing another word of praise.
“There is more talent in one of his pages than in the
whole aggregate works of half a dozen ordinarily successful
writers,” Johnson answered with emphasis.
“I am so glad you think so—so glad. And what is
the first thing to be done in order to get this published?
You see, I must ask your help, now that you have given
your opinion.”
“Will you leave the matter in my hands, Miss Fearing?”
Constance hesitated. There was assuredly no one who
would be more likely to do the proper thing in the matter,
and yet she reflected that she knew nothing or next
to nothing of the man before her, except from George’s
praise of his intelligence.
“Suppose that a publisher accepts the book,” she said
warily, “what will he give Mr. Wood for it?”
“Ten per cent on the advertised retail price,” Johnson
answered promptly.
“Of every copy sold, I suppose,” said Constance, who
had a remarkably good head for business. “That is not
much, is it? And besides, how is one to know that the
138publisher is honest? One hears such dreadful stories
about those people.”
Johnson laughed a little.
“Faith is the evidence of things unseen, supported by
reasonable and punctual payments,” he said. “Publishers
are not all Cretans, Miss Fearing. There be certain
just men among them who have reputations to lose.”
“And none of them would do better than that by the
book? But of course you know. Have you ever published
anything yourself? Forgive my ignorance——”
“I once published a volume of critical essays,” Johnson
answered.
“What was the title? I must read it—please tell me.”
“It is not worth the trouble, I assure you. The title
was that—Critical Essays by William Johnson.”
“Thank you, I will remember. And will you really
do your very best for Mr. Wood’s book? Do you think
it could be published in a fortnight?”
“A fortnight!” exclaimed Johnson, aghast at Constance’s
ignorance. “Three months would be the shortest
time possible.”
“Three months! Dear me, what a length of time!”
Johnson rapidly explained as well as he could the
principal reasons why it takes longer to publish a book
than to write one. He exchanged a few more words
with Constance, promising to make every effort to push
on the appearance of the novel, but advising her to
expect no news whatever for several months. Then he
took his leave.
Half an hour later Constance was at her bookseller’s.
“I want a book called Critical Essays, by William
Johnson,” she said. “Have you got it, Mr. Popples?”
She waited some time before it was brought to her.
Then she pretended to look through it carefully, examining
the headings of the papers that were collected
in it.
“Is it worth reading?” she asked carelessly.
“Excellent, Miss Fearing,” answered the grey-haired
139professional bookseller. He had known Constance since
she had been a mere child with a passion for Mr. Walter
Crane’s picture-books. “Excellent,” he repeated, emphatically.
“A little dry perhaps, but truly excellent.”
“Has it been a success, do you know?”
“Yes, I know, Miss Fearing,” answered Mr. Popples,
with a meaning smile. “I know very well. I happen
to know that it did not pay for the printing.”
“Did the author not even get ten per cent on the
advertised retail price?” Constance inquired.
Mr. Popples stared at her for a moment, evidently
wondering where she had picked up the phrase. He
immediately suspected her of having perpetrated a literary
misdeed in one volume.
“No, Miss Fearing. I happen to know that Mr. Johnson
did not get ten per cent on the advertised retail
price of his book; in point of fact, he got nothing at all
for it, excepting a number of very flattering notices.
But excuse me, Miss Fearing, if you were thinking of
venturing upon publishing anything——” His voice
dropped to a confidential pitch.
“I?” exclaimed Constance.
“Well, Miss Fearing, it could be done very discreetly,
you know. Just a little volume of sweet verse? Is that
it, Miss Fearing? Now, you know, that kind of thing
would have a run in society, and if you would like to put
it into my hands, I know a publisher——”
“But, Mr. Popples,” interrupted Constance, recovering
from her amusement so far as to be able to interrupt
the current of the bookseller’s engaging offers, “I never
wrote anything in my life. I asked out of sheer curiosity.”
Mr. Popples smiled blandly, without the least appearance
of disappointment.
“Well, well, Miss Fearing, you are quite right,” he
said. “In point of fact those little literary ventures of
young ladies very rarely do come to much, do they? To
misquote the Laureate, Miss Fearing, we might say that
140‘Men must write and women must read’! Eh, Miss
Fearing?”
The old fellow chuckled at his bad joke, as he wrapped
up the volume of Critical Essays by William Johnson,
and handed it across the table. There were only tables
in Mr. Popples’s establishment; he despised counters.
“Anything else to serve you, Miss Fearing? A novel
or two, for the May weather? No? Let me take it to
your carriage.”
“Thanks. I am walking, but I will carry it. Good
evening.”
“Good evening, Miss Fearing. Your parasol is here.
Walking this evening! In the May weather! Good
evening, Miss Fearing.”
And Mr. Popples bowed his favourite customer out of
his establishment, with a very kindly look in his tired
old spectacled eyes.
Constance had got what she had come for. If William
Johnson, author of Critical Essays, a journalist and a
man presumably acquainted with all the ins and outs of
publishing, had made nothing by his successful book,
George would be doing very well in obtaining ten per
cent on the advertised retail price of every copy of his
novel which was sold. Constance had been mistaken
when she had doubted Johnson, but she did not regret
her doubt in the least. After all, she had undertaken the
responsibility of George’s book, and she could not conscientiously
believe everything she was told by strangers
concerning its chances. Mr. Popples, however, was above
suspicion, and had, moreover, no reason for telling that
the Critical Essays had brought their author no remuneration.
Johnson’s face, too, inspired confidence, as
well as George’s own trust in him. Constance felt that
she had done all she could, and she accordingly made her
preparations for going out of town.
She was glad to get away, in order to study herself.
The habit of introspection had grown upon her, for she
had encouraged herself in it, ever since she had begun to
141feel that George was something more to her than a friend.
Her over-conscientious nature feared to make some mistake
which might embitter his life as well as her own.
She was in constant dread of letting herself be carried
away by the impulse of a moment to say something that
might bind her to marry him, before she could feel that
she loved him wholly as she wished to love him. On
looking back, she bitterly regretted having allowed him
to kiss her cheek on that morning in the Park. She had
been under the influence of a strong emotion, produced
by the conclusion of his book, and she seemed in her own
eyes to have acted in a way quite unworthy of herself.
Had she been able to carry her analysis further, she
would have discovered that behind her distrust of herself
she felt a lingering distrust of George. A year
earlier she had thought it possible that he was strongly
attracted by her fortune. Now, however, she would have
scouted the idea, if it had presented itself in that shape.
But it was present, nevertheless, in a more subtle form.
“He loves me sincerely,” she said to herself. “He
would marry me now, if I were a pauper. But would he
have loved me from the first if I had been poor?”
It was not often that she put the question, even in
this way, but as it belonged to that class of vicious inquiries
which it is impossible to answer, it tormented her
perpetually by suggesting a whole series of doubts, useless
in themselves and mischievous in their consequences.
She was convinced of two things. First, that she was
unaccountably influenced by George’s presence to say
and do things which she was determined at other times
that she would never say or do; and, secondly, that
whether she loved him truly or not she could not imagine
herself as loving any one else nearly so much. Under
these circumstances, it was clearly better that she should
not see him for a considerable time. She would thus
withdraw herself from the sphere of his direct influence,
and she would have leisure to study and weigh her own
feelings, with a view to reaching a final decision. Nevertheless
142she looked forward to the moment of parting from
him with something that was very like pain. Contrary
to her expectations, the interview passed off with little
show of emotion on either side.
They talked for some time about the book, Constance
assuming an air of mystery as regards its future and
George speaking of it with the utmost indifference. At
the last minute, when he had risen to go and was standing
beside her, she laid her hand upon his arm.
“You do not think I am heartless, do you?” she asked,
looking at a particular button on his coat.
“No,” George answered. “I think you are very sincere.
I sometimes wish you would forget to be so sincere
with yourself. I wish you would let yourself run away
with yourself now and then.”
“That would be very wrong. It would be very unfair
and unjust to you. Suppose—only suppose, you know—that
I made up my mind to marry you, and then discovered
when it was too late that I did not love you.
Would not that be dreadful? Is it not better to wait a
little longer?”
“You shall never say that I have pressed you into a
decision against your will,” said George, betraying in
one speech his youth, his ignorance of woman in general
and his almost quixotic readiness to obey Constance in
anything and everything.
“You are very generous,” she answered, still looking
at the button. “But I will not feel that I am spoiling
your life—no, let me speak—to keep you in this position
much longer would be doing that, indeed it would.
In six months from now you will be famous. I know it,
though you laugh at me. Then you will be able to marry
whom you please. I cannot marry you now, for I do not
love you enough. You are free, you must not feel that
I want to bind you, do you understand. You will travel
this summer, for you have told me that you are going to
make several visits in country-houses. If you see any
one you like better than me, do not feel that you are
143tied by any promises. It would not break my heart, if
you married some one else.”
In spite of her calmness there was a slight tremor in
her voice which did not escape George’s ear.
“I shall never love any one else,” he said simply.
“You may. I may. But waiting must have a
limit——”
“Say this, Constance,” said George. “Say that if, by
next May, you do not love me less than you do now, you
will be my wife.”
“No. I must love you more. If I love you better than
now, it will show that my love is always to increase, and
I will marry you.”
“In May?”
“In May, next year. But this is no engagement. I
make no promise, and I will take none from you. You
are free, and so am I, until the first of May——”
“I shall never be free again, dear,” said George, happily,
for he anticipated great things of the strange agreement
she proposed. He put his arm about her and drew
her to him very tenderly. Another second and his lips
would have touched her cheek, just where they had
touched it once before. But Constance drew back
quickly and slipped from his arm.
“No, no,” she laughed, “that is not a part of the
agreement. It is far too binding.”
George’s face was grave and sad. Her action had
given him a sharp thrust of painful disappointment, and
he did his best not to hide it. Constance looked at him
a moment.
“Am I not right?” she asked.
“You are always right—even when you give me
pain,” he answered with a shade of bitterness.
“Have I given you pain now?”
“Yes.”
“Did you think, from the way I behaved, that I would
let you kiss me for good-bye?”
“Yes.”
144“You shall not say that I hurt you, and you shall not
go away believing that I deceived you,” said Constance,
coming back to him.
She put her two hands round his neck and drew down
his willing face. Then she kissed him softly on both
cheeks.
“Forgive me,” she said. “I did not mean to hurt you.
Good-bye—dear.”
George left the house feeling very happy, but persuaded
that neither he nor any other man could ever
understand the heart of woman, which, after all, seemed
to be the only thing in the world worth understanding.
He had ample time for reflection in the course of the
summer, but without the reality before him the study of
the problem grew more and more perplexing.
The weather grew very warm in the end of June, and
George left New York. He had written much in the
course of the year and had earned enough money to give
himself a rest during the hot months. He tried to persuade
his father to accompany him and to spend the time
by the seaside while George himself made his promised
visits. But Jonah Wood declared that he preferred New
York in the summer and that nothing would induce him
to waste money on such folly as travelling. To tell the
truth, the old gentleman had grown accustomed to rigid
economy in his little house in town, but he could not look
forward with any pleasure to the discomforts of second-rate
hotels in second-rate places. So George went away
alone.
He had already begun another book. He did not look
upon his first effort in the light of a book at all, but he had
tasted blood, and the thirst was upon him, and he must
needs quench it. This time, however, he set himself
steadily to work to do the very best he could, labouring
to repress his own vivacity and trying to keep out of the
fever that was threatening to carry him away outside of
himself. He limited his work strictly to a small amount
every day, polishing every sentence and thinking out
145every phrase before it was set down. Working in this
way he had written about half a volume by the end of
August, when he found himself in a pleasant country-house
by the sea in the midst of a large party of people.
He had all but forgotten his first book, and had certainly
but a very dim recollection of what it contained. He
looked back upon its feverish production as upon a sort
of delirious dream during which he had raved in a language
now strange to his memory.
One afternoon, in the midst of a game of lawn-tennis,
a telegram was brought to him.
“Rob Roy and Co. publish book immediately England
and America. Have undertaken that you accept royalty
ten per cent retail advertised price. Wire reply. C. F.”
George possessed a very considerable power of concealing
his emotions, but this news was almost too much
for his equanimity. He thrust the despatch into his
pocket and went on playing, but he lost the game in a
shameful fashion and was roundly abused by his cousin
Mamie Trimm, who chanced to be his partner. Mamie
and her mother were stopping in the same house, by what
Mrs. Sherrington Trimm considered a rather unfortunate
accident, since Mamie was far too fond of George already.
In reality, the excellent hostess had an idea that George
loved the girl, and as the match seemed most appropriate
in her eyes, she had brought them together on purpose.
As soon as possible he slipped away, put on his flannel
jacket and went to the telegraph office, reading the despatch
he had received over and over again as he hurried
along the path, and trying to compose his answer at the
same time. Constance’s message seemed amazingly neat,
business-like and concise, and he wondered whether some
one else had not been concerned in the affair. The phrase
about the royalty did not sound like a woman’s expression,
though she might have copied it from the publisher’s
letter.
George had formerly imagined that if his first performance
were really in danger of being published, he
146should do everything in his power to prevent such a
catastrophe. He felt no such impulse now, however.
Messrs. Rob Roy and Company were very serious people,
great publishers, whose name alone gave a book a chance
of success. They bore an exceptional reputation in the
world of books, and George knew very well that they
would not publish trash. But he was not elated by the
news, however much surprised he might be. It was
strange, indeed, that a firm of such good judgment should
have accepted his novel, but it could not but be a failure,
all the same. He would get the proofs as soon as possible,
and he would do what he could to make the work
decently presentable by inserting plentiful improvements.
His answer to Constance’s telegram was short.
“Deplore catastrophe. Pity public. Thank publisher.
Agree terms. Where are proofs? G. W.”
By the time the proofs were ready, George was once
more in New York, though Constance had not yet
returned. He was hard at work upon his second book
and looked with some disgust at the package of printed
matter that lay folded as it had come, upon his table.
Nevertheless he opened the bundle and looked at them.
“Confound them!” he exclaimed. “They have sent
me a paged proof instead of galleys!”
It was evident that he could not insert many changes,
where the matter was already arranged in book form,
and he anticipated endless annoyance in pasting in
extensive “riders” of writing-paper in order to get room
for the vast changes he considered necessary.
An hour later he was lying back in his easy-chair
reading his own novel with breathless interest. He had
not yet made a correction of any kind in the text. It
was not until the following day that he was able to go
over it all more calmly, but even then, he found that
little could be done to improve it. When he had finished,
he sent the proofs back and wrote a letter to Constance.
“I have read the book over,” he wrote, among other
things, “and it is not so bad as I supposed. I know
147that it cannot be good, but I am convinced that worse
novels have found their way into print, if not into
notice. I take back at least one-tenth of all I said about
it formerly, and I will not abuse it in the future, leaving
that office to those who will doubtless command
much forcible language in support of their just opinion.
Am I to thank you, too? I hardly know. There are
other things for which I would rather be in a position to
owe you thanks. However, the die is cast, you have
made a skipping-rope of the Rubicon and have whisked
it under my feet without my consent. Let the poor book
take its chance. Its birth was happy, may its death at
least be peaceful.”
To this Constance replied three weeks later.
“I am glad to see that a disposition to repentance has
set in. You are wise in not abusing my book any more.
You ought to be doing penance in sackcloth and ashes
before that bench in Central Park on which I sat when I
told you it was good. The children would all laugh at
you, and throw stones at you, and I should be delighted.
I am not coming to town until it is published and is a
success. Grace thinks I have gone into speculations,
because I get so many letters and telegrams about it. I
shall not tell you what the people who read the manuscript
said about it. You can find that out for yourself.”
George awoke one morning to find himself, if not
famous, at least the topic of the day in more countries
than one. A week had not elapsed before the papers
were full of notices of his book and speculations as to
his personality. No one seemed to consider that George
Winton Wood, the novelist, could be the same man as
G. W. Wood, the signer of modest articles in the magazines.
The first review called him an unknown person
of surprising talent, the second did not hesitate to
describe him as a man of genius, and the third—branded
him as a plagiarist who had stolen his plot from
a forgotten novel of the beginning of the century and
had somehow—this was not clear in the article—made
148capital out of the writings of Macrobius, he was a villain,
a poacher, a pickpocket novelist, a literary body-snatcher,
in fact in the eyes of all but the over-lax law,
little short of a thief. George knew that sort of style,
and he read the abuse over again and again with unmitigated
delight. He had done as much himself in the
good old days when the editors would let him. He did
not show this particular notice to his father, however,
and only handed him those that were favourable—and
they were many. Jonah Wood sat reading them all day
long, over and over again.
“I am very glad, George,” he said, repeatedly. “I
am very proud of you. It is splendid. But do you
think all this will bring you much pecuniary remuneration?”
“Ten per cent on the advertised retail price of each
copy,” was George’s answer.
He entered the railway station one day and was amazed
to see the walls of the place covered with huge placards,
three feet square, bearing the name of his book and his
own, alternately, in huge black letters on a white ground.
The young man at the bookstall was doing a thriving
business. George went up to him.
“That book seems to sell,” he said quietly.
“Like hot cakes,” answered the vendor, offering him
his own production. “One dollar twenty-five cents.”
“Thank you,” said George. “I would not give so
much for a novel.”
“Well, there are others will, I guess,” answered the
young man. “Step aside if you please and give these
ladies a chance.”
George smiled and turned away.
CHAPTER XI.
149
Sherrington Trimm had kept Mr. Craik’s secret as
well as he could, but although he had not told his wife
anything positive concerning the will that had been so
hastily drawn up, he had found it impossible not to convey
to Totty such information about the matter as was
manifestly negative. She had seen very soon that he
considered the inheritance of her brother’s money as an
illusion, upon which he placed no faith whatever, and
she had understood that in advising her not to think too
much about it, he meant to do more than administer one
of his customary rebukes to her covetousness. At last,
she determined to know the truth and pressed him with
the direct question.
“So far as I know, my dear,” he answered, gravely,
“you will never get that money, so you may just as well
put the subject out of your mind, and be satisfied with
what you have.”
Neither diplomacy nor cajolery nor reproaches could
force anything more definite than this from Sherrington
Trimm’s discreet lips, though Totty used all her weapons,
and used them very cleverly, in her untiring efforts
to find out the truth. Was Tom going to leave his gold
to a gigantic charity? Sherry’s round, pink face grew
suddenly stony. Was it a hospital or an asylum for
idiots?—he really might tell her! His expression never
changed. Totty was in despair, and her curiosity tormented
her in a way that would have done credit to the
gad-fly which tortured Io of old. Neither by word, nor
look, nor deed could Sherry be made to betray his
brother-in-law’s secret. He was utterly impenetrable,
as soon as the subject was brought up, and Totty even
fancied that he knew beforehand when she was about to
set some carefully-devised trap for him, so ready was he
to oppose her wiles.
150On the other hand since old Mr. Craik had recovered,
his sister had shown herself more than usually anxious
to please him. In this she argued as her husband had
done, saying that a man who had changed his will once
might very possibly change it again. She therefore
spared no pains in consulting Tom’s pleasure whenever
occasion offered, and she employed her best tact in making
his life agreeable to him. He, on his part, was even
more diverted than she intended that he should be, and
he watched all her moves with inward amusement.
There had never been any real sympathy between them.
He had been the first child, and several others had died
in infancy during a long series of years, Totty, the
youngest of all, alone surviving, separated from her
brother in age by nearly twenty years. From her childhood,
she had always been trying to get something from
him, and whenever the matters in hand did not chance
to clash with his own interests, he had granted her
request. Indeed, on the whole, and considering the
man’s grasping character, he had treated her with great
generosity. Totty’s gratitude, however, though always
sincere, was systematically prophetic in regard to favours
to come, and Tom had often wondered whether anything
in the world would satisfy her.
Of late she seemed to have developed an intense interest
in the means of prolonging life, and she did not fail
to give him the benefit of all the newest theories on the
subject. Tom, however, did not feel that he was going
to die, and was more and more irritated by her officious
suggestions. One day she took upon herself to be more
than usually pressing. He had been suffering from a
slight cold, and she had passed an anxious week.
“There is nothing for you, Tom,” she said, “but a
milk cure and massage. They say there is nothing like
it. It is perfectly wonderful——”
Her brother raised his bent head and looked keenly at
her, while a sour smile passed over his face.
“Look here, Totty,” he answered, “don’t you think I
should keep better in camphor?”
151“How can you be so unkind!” exclaimed Totty, blushing
scarlet. She rarely blushed at all, and her brother’s
amusement increased, until it reached its climax and
broke out in a hard, rattling laugh.
After this, Mrs. Trimm grew more cautious. She
talked less of remedies and cures and practised with
great care a mournfully sympathetic expression. In the
course of a week or two this plan also began to wear
upon Craik’s nerves, for she made a point of seeing him
almost every day.
“I say, Totty,” he said suddenly. “If anybody is
dead, tell me. If you think anybody is going to die,
send for the doctor. But if they are all alive and well,
don’t go round looking like an undertaker’s wife when
the season has been too healthy.”
“How can you expect me to look gay?” Totty asked
with a sad smile. “Do you think it makes me happy to
see you going on in this way?”
“Which way?” inquired Mr. Craik with a pleased
grin.
“Why, you won’t have massage, and you won’t take
the milk cure, and you won’t go to Aix, and you won’t
let me do anything for you, and—and I’m so unhappy!
Oh Tom, how unkind you are!”
Thereupon Mrs. Trimm burst into tears with much
feeling. Tom Craik looked at her for some seconds and
then, being in his own house, rang the bell, sent for the
housekeeper and a bottle of salts, and left Totty to
recover as best she might. He knew very well that
those same tears were genuine and that they had their
source in anger and disappointment rather than in any
sympathy for himself, and he congratulated himself upon
having changed his will in time.
The old man watched George Wood’s increasing success
with an interest that would have surprised the
latter, if he had known anything of it. It seemed as if,
by assuring him the reversion of the fortune, Tom Craik
had given him a push in the right direction. Since that
152time, indeed, George’s luck had begun to turn, and now,
though still unconscious of the wealth that awaited him,
he was already far on the road to celebrity and independence.
The lonely old man of business found a new
and keen excitement in following the doings of the young
fellow for whom he had secretly prepared such an overwhelming
surprise. He was curious to see whether
George would lose his head, whether he would turn into
the fatuous idol of afternoon tea-parties, or whether he
would fall into vulgar dissipation, whether he would
quarrel with his father as soon as he was independent,
or whether he would spend his earnings in making the
old gentleman more comfortable.
Tom Craik cared very little what George did, provided
he did something. What he most regretted was that he
could not possibly be present to enjoy the surprise he
had planned. It amused him to think out the details of
his future. If, for instance, George took to drinking
and gambling, losing and wasting at night what he had
laboured hard to earn during the day, what a moment
that would be in his life when he should be told that
Tom Craik was dead, and that he was master of a great
fortune. The old man chuckled over the idea, and
fancied he could see George’s face when, having lost
more than he could possibly pay, his young eyes heavy
with wine, his hand trembling with excitement, he would
be making his last desperate stand at poker in the quiet
upper room of a gambling club. He would lose his
nerve, show his cards, lose and sink back in his chair
with a stare of horror. At that moment the door would
open and Sherry Trimm would come in and whisper a
few words in his ear. Tom Craik liked to imagine the
young fellow’s bound of surprise, the stifled cry of
amazement that would escape from his lips, the doubts,
the fears that would beset him until the money was
his, and then the sudden cure that would follow. Yes,
thought Tom, there was no such cure for a spendthrift
as a fortune, a real fortune. To make a man love money,
153give it to him all at once in vast quantities—provided
he is not a fool. And George was no fool. He had
already proved that.
There was something satanic in Mr. Craik’s speculations.
He knew the world well. It amused him to
fancy George, admired and courted as a literary lion,
but feared by all judicious mammas, as only young, poor
and famous literary lions are feared. How the sentimental
young ladies would crowd about him and offer
him tea, cake and plots for his novels! And how the
ring of mothers would draw their daughters away from
him and freeze him with airs politely cold! How two
or three would be gathered together in one corner of the
room to say to each other that two or three others in the
opposite corner were foolishly exposing their daughters
to the charms of an adventurer, for his books bring him
in nothing, my dear, not a cent—Mr. Popples told me
so! And how the compliment would be returned upon
the two or three, by the other two or three, with usurious
compound interest. Enter to them, thought Craik,
another of their tribe—what do you think, my dears?
Tom Craik left all that money to George Wood, house,
furniture, pictures, horses and carriages—everything!
Just think! I really must go and speak to the dear
fellow! And how they would all be impelled, at the
same moment, by the same charitable thought! How
they would all glide forward, during the next quarter of
an hour, impatient to thaw with intimacy what they had
lately wished to freeze with politeness, and how, a little
later, each would say to her lovely daughter as they
went home—you know Georgey Wood—for it would be
Georgey at once—is such a good fellow, so famous and
yet so modest, so unassuming when you think how
enormously rich he is. Is he rich, mamma? Why,
yes, Kitty—or Totty, or Dottie, or Hattie, or Nelly—he
has all Tom Craik’s money, and that gem of a house
to live in, and the pictures and everything, and your
cousin—or your aunt—Totty is furious about it—but
154he is such a nice fellow. There would not be much
difficulty about getting a wife for the “nice fellow”
then, thought Thomas Craik.
And one or other of these things might have actually
happened, precisely as Thomas Craik foresaw if that
excellent and worthy man, Sherrington Trimm had not
unexpectedly fallen ill during the spring that followed
George Wood’s first success. His illness was severe and
was undoubtedly caused by too much hard work, and was
superinduced by a moderate but unchanging taste for
canvas-backs, truffles boiled in madeira and an especial
brand of brut champagne. Sherry recovered, indeed,
but was ordered to Carlsbad in Bohemia without delay.
Totty found that it was quite impossible for her to
accompany him, considering the precarious state of her
brother’s health. To leave Tom at such a time would
be absolutely heartless. Sherrington Trimm expressed
a belief that Tom would last through the summer and
perhaps through several summers, as he never did a
stroke of work and was as wiry as hairpins. He might
have added that his brother-in-law did not subsist upon
cryptograms and brut wines, but Sherry resolutely avoided
suggesting to himself that the daily consumption of
those delicacies was in any way connected with his late
illness. His wife, however, shook her head, and quoting
glibly three or four medical authorities, assured him
that Tom’s state was very far from satisfactory. Mamie
might go with her father, if she pleased, but Totty
would not leave the sinking ship.
“Till the rats leave it,” added Mr. Trimm viciously.
His wife gave him a mournfully severe glance and left
him to make his preparations.
So he went abroad, and was busy for some time with
the improvement of his liver and the reduction of his
superfluous fat, and John Bond managed the business in
his stead. John Bond was a very fine fellow and did
well whatever he undertook, so that Mr. Trimm felt no
anxiety about their joint affairs. John himself was delighted
155to have an opportunity of showing what he could
do and he looked forward to marrying Grace Fearing in
the summer, considering that his position was now sufficiently
assured. He was far too sensible a man to have
any scruples about taking a rich wife while he himself
was poor, but he was too independent to live upon Grace’s
fortune, and as she was so young he had put off the wedding
until he felt that he was making enough money to
have all that he wanted for himself without her aid.
When they were married she could do what she pleased
without consulting him, and he would do as he liked
without asking her advice or assistance. He considered
that marriage could not be happy where either of the
couple was dependent upon the other for necessities or
luxuries, and that domestic peace depended largely on
the exclusion of all monetary transactions between man
and wife. John Bond was a typical man of his class,
tall, fair, good-looking, healthy, active, energetic and
keen. He had never had a day’s illness nor an hour’s
serious annoyance. He had begun life in the right way,
at the right end and in a cheerful spirit. There was no
morbid sentimentality about him, no unnecessary development
of the imagination, no nervousness, no shyness,
no underrating of other people and no overrating of himself.
He knew he could never be great or famous, and
that he could only be John Bond as long as he lived.
John Bond he would be, then, and nothing else, but John
Bond should come to mean a great deal before he had
done with the name. It should mean the keenest, most
hardworking, most honest, most reliable, most clean-handed
lawyer in the city of New York. There was a
breezy atmosphere of truth, soap and enterprise about
John Bond.
Before going abroad Sherrington Trimm asked Tom
Craik whether he should tell his junior partner of the
existence of a will in favour of George Wood. Mr. Craik
hesitated before he answered.
“Well, Sherry,” he said at last, “considering the uncertainty
156of human life, as Totty says, and considering
that you are more used to Extra Dry than to Carlsbad
waters, you had better tell him. There is no knowing
what tricks that stuff may play with you. Let it be in
confidence.”
“Of course,” said Mr. Trimm. “I would rather trust
John Bond than trust myself.”
The same day he imparted the secret to his partner.
The latter nodded gravely and then fell into a fit of
abstraction which was very rare with him. He knew a
great deal of the relations existing between Constance
and George Wood, and in his frank, lawyer-like distrust
of people’s motives, he had shared Grace’s convictions
about the man, though he had always treated him with
indifference and always avoided speaking of him.
There are some people whose curiosity finds relief in
asking questions, even though they obtain no answers to
their inquiries. Totty was one of these, and she missed
her husband more than she had thought possible. There
had been a sort of satisfaction in tormenting him about
the will, accompanied by a constant hope that he might
one day forget his discretion in a fit of anger and let out
the secret she so much desired to learn. Now, however,
there was no one to cross-examine except Tom himself,
and she would as soon have thought of asking him a
direct question in the matter as of trying to make holes
in a mill-stone with a darning-needle. Her curiosity
had therefore no outlet and as her interest was so directly
concerned at the same time, it is no wonder that she fell
into a deplorably unsettled state of mind. For a long
time not a ray of light illuminated the situation, and
Totty actually began to grow thin under the pressure of
her constant anxiety. At last she hit upon a plan for
discovering the truth, so simple that she wondered how
she had failed to think of it before.
Nothing indeed could be more easy of execution than
what she contemplated. Her husband kept in a desk in
his room a set of duplicate keys to the deed boxes in his
157office. Among these there must be also the one that
opened her brother’s box. These iron cases were kept
in a strong room that opened into a small corridor between
Sherrington Trimm’s private study and the outer
rooms where the clerks worked. Totty had her own
box there, separate from her husband’s and she remembered
that there was one not far from hers on which was
painted her brother’s name. She would have no difficulty
in entering the strong room alone, on pretence of
depositing a deed. Was she not the wife of the senior
partner, and had she not often done the same thing
before? If her brother had made a new will, it must be
in that box, where he kept such papers as possessed only
a legal value. One glance would show her all she wanted
to know, and her mind would be at rest from the wearing
anxiety that now made her life almost unbearable.
She opened the desk and had no difficulty in finding
the key to her brother’s box. It was necessary to take
something in the nature of a deed, to hold in her hand as
an excuse for entering the strong room, for she did not
want to take anything out of it, lest John Bond, who
would see her, should chance to notice the fact and should
mention it to her husband when he came back. On the
other hand, it would not do to deposit an empty envelope,
sealed and marked as though it contained something
valuable. Mrs. Trimm never did things by halves nor
was she ever so unwise as to leave traces of her tactics
behind her. A palpable fraud like an empty envelope
might at some future time be used against her. To take
any document away from the office, even if she returned
the next day, would be to expose herself to a cross-examination
from Sherrington when he came home, for he
knew the state of her affairs and would know also that
she never needed to consult the papers she kept at the
office. There was nothing for it but to have a real document
of some sort. Totty sat down and thought the
matter over for a quarter of an hour. Then she ordered
her carriage and drove down town to the office of a broker
who sometimes did business for her and her husband.
158“I have made a bet,” she said, with a little laugh, “and
I want you to help me to win it.”
The broker expressed his readiness to put the whole
New York Stock Exchange at her disposal in five minutes,
if that were of any use to her.
“Yes,” said Totty. “I have bet that I will buy a
share in something—say for a hundred dollars—that I
will keep it a year and that at the end of that time it
will be worth more than I gave for it.”
“One way of winning the bet would be to buy several
shares in different things and declare the winner afterwards.
One of the lot will go up.”
“That would not be fair,” said Totty with a laugh. “I
must say what it is I have bought. Can you give me
something of the kind—now? I want to take it away
with me, to show it.”
The broker went out and returned a few minutes later
with what she wanted, a certificate of stock to the
amount of one hundred dollars, in a well-known undertaking.
“If anything has a chance, this has,” said the broker,
putting it into an envelope and handing it to her. “Oh
no, Mrs. Trimm—never mind paying for it!” he added
with a careless laugh. “Give it back to me when you
have done with it.”
But Totty preferred to pay her money, and did so
before she departed. Ten minutes later she was at her
husband’s office. Her heart beat a little faster as she
asked John Bond to open the strong room for her. She
hoped that something would happen to occupy him while
she was within.
“Let me help you,” he said, entering the place with
her. The strong room was lighted from above by a small
skylight over a heavy grating, the boxes being arranged
on shelves around the walls. John Bond went straight
to the one that belonged to Totty and moved it forward a
little so that she could open it. She held her envelope
ostentatiously in one hand and felt for her key in her
159pocket with the other. She knew which was hers and
which was her brother’s, because Tom’s had a label fastened
to it, with his name, whereas her own had none.
“Thanks,” she said, as she turned the key in the lock
and raised the lid. “Please do not stay here, Mr. Bond,
I want to look over a lot of things so as to put this I have
brought into the right place.”
“Well—if I cannot be of any use,” said John. “I
have rather a busy day. Please call me to shut the room
when you have finished.”
Totty breathed more freely when she was alone. She
could hear John cross the corridor and enter the private
office. A moment later everything was quiet. With a
quick, stealthy movement, she slipped the other key into
the box labelled “T. Craik,” turned it and lifted the
cover. Her heart was beating violently.
Fortunately for her the will was the last paper that
had been put with the others and lay on the top of them
all. The heavy blue envelope was sealed and marked
“Will,” with the date. Totty turned pale as she held it
in her hands. She had not the slightest intention of
destroying it, whatever it might contain, but even to
break the seal and read it looked very like a criminal act.
On the other hand, when she realised that she held in her
hand the answer to all her questions, and that by a turn
of the fingers she could satisfy all her boundless curiosity,
she knew that it was of no use to attempt resistance in
the face of such a temptation. She realised, indeed, that
she would not be able to restore the seal, and that she
must not hope to hide the fact that somebody had tampered
with the will, but the thought could not deter her
from carrying out her intention. As she turned, her
sleeve caught on the corner of the box which she had
inadvertently left open and the lid fell with a sharp snap.
Instantly John Bond’s footstep was heard in the corridor.
Totty had barely time to withdraw the key from her
brother’s box and to bury the will under her own papers
when John entered the room.
160“Oh!” he exclaimed in evident surprise, “I thought
I heard you shut your box, and that you had finished.”
“No,” said Totty in an unsteady voice, bending her
pale face over her documents. “The lid fell, but I
opened it again. I will call you when I come out.”
John returned to his work without any suspicion of
what had happened. Then Totty extracted a hairpin
from the coils of her brown hair and tried to lift the seal
of the will from the paper to which it was so firmly attached.
But she only succeeded in damaging it. There
was nothing to be done but to tear the envelope. Still
using her hairpin she slit open one end of the cover and
drew out the document.
When she knew the contents, her face expressed unbounded
surprise. It had never entered her head that
Tom could leave his money to George Wood of all people
in the world.
“What a fool I have been!” she exclaimed under her
breath.
Then she began to reflect upon the consequences of
what she had done, and her curiosity being satisfied, her
fears began to assume serious proportions. Was it a
criminal act that she had committed? She gazed rather
helplessly at the torn envelope. It would be impossible
to restore it. It would be equally impossible to put the
will back into the box, loose and unsealed, without her
husband’s noticing the fact the next time he had occasion
to look into Tom Craik’s papers. He would remember
very well that he had sealed it and marked it on the
outside. The envelope, at least, must disappear at once.
She crumpled it into as small a compass as possible and
put it into her jacket. It would be very simple to burn
it as soon as she was at home. But how to dispose of
the will itself was a much harder matter. She dared not
destroy that also, for that might turn out to be a deliberate
theft, or fraud, or whatever the law called such
deeds. On the other hand, her brother might ask for it
at any time and if it were not in the box it could not be
161forthcoming, and her husband would get into trouble. It
would be easy for Tom to suspect that Sherrington Trimm
had destroyed the will, in order that his wife, as next of
kin and only heir-at-law should get the fortune. She
thought that, as it was, Tom had shown an extraordinary
belief in human nature, though when she thought of her
husband’s known honesty she understood that nobody
could mistrust him. He himself would doubtless be the
first to discover the loss. What would he do? He would
go to Tom and make him execute a duplicate of the
will that was lost. Meanwhile, and in case Tom died
before Sherrington came back, Totty could put the original
in some safe place, where she could cause it to be
found if necessary—behind one of those boxes, for instance,
or in some corner of the strong room. Nothing
that was locked up between those four walls could ever
be lost. If Tom died, she would of course be told that
a will had been made and was missing. John Bond would
come to her in great distress, and she would come down
to the office and help in the search. The scheme did not
look very diplomatic, but she was sure that there was
nothing else to be done. It was the only way in which
she could avoid committing a crime while avoiding also
the necessity of confessing to her husband that she had
committed an act of supreme folly.
She folded the paper together and looked about the
small room for a place in which to hide it. As she was
looking she thought she heard John Bond’s step again.
She had no time to lose for she would not be able to get
rid of him if he entered the strong room a third time.
To leave it on one of the shelves would be foolish, for it
might be found at any time. She could see no chink or
crack into which to drop it, and John was certainly coming.
Totty in her desperation thrust the paper into the
bosom of her dress, shut up her own box noisily and
went out.
She thought that John Bond looked at her very curiously
when she went away, though the impression might
162well be the result of her own guilty fears. As a matter
of fact he was surprised by her extreme pallor and was
on the point of asking if she were ill. But he reflected
that the strong room was a chilly place and that she
might be only feeling cold, and he held his tongue.
The paper seemed to burn her, and she longed to be
in her own house where she could at least lock it up
until she could come to some wise decision in regard to
it. She leaned back in her carriage in an agony of nervous
fear. What if John Bond should chance to be the
one who made the discovery? He probably knew of the
existence of the will, and he very probably had seen it
and knew where it was. It was strange that she had
not thought of that. If, for instance, it happened that
he needed to look at some of her brother’s papers that
very day, would he not notice the loss and suspect her?
After all, he knew as well as any one what she had to
gain by destroying the will, if he knew what it contained.
How much better it would have been to put it
back in its place even without the envelope! How
much better anything would be than to feel that she
might be found out by John Bond!
She was already far up town, but in her distress she
did not recognise her whereabouts, and leaning forward
slightly looked through the window. As fate would
have it, the only person near the carriage in the street
was George Wood, who had recognised it and was trying
to get a glimpse of herself. When he saw her, he bowed
and smiled, just as he always did. Totty nodded hastily
and fell back into her seat. A feeling of sickening
despair came over her, and she closed her eyes.
CHAPTER XII.
163
George Wood’s reputation spread rapidly. He had
arrested the attention of the public, and the public was
both ready and willing to be amused by him. He had
finished the second of his books soon after the appearance
of the first, and he had found no difficulty in selling
the manuscript outright upon his own terms. It was
published about the time when the events took place
which have been described in the last chapter, and it
obtained a wide success. It was, indeed, wholly different
from its predecessor in character and presented a strong
contrast to it. The first had been full of action, passionate,
strange, unlike the books of the day. The
second was the result of much thought and lacked almost
altogether the qualities that had given such phenomenal
popularity to the first. It was a calm book, almost
destitute of plot and of dramatic incidents. It had been
polished and adorned to the best of the young writer’s
ability, he had put into it the most refined of his thoughts,
he had filled it with the sayings of characters more than
half ideal. He had believed in it while he was writing
it, but he was disappointed with it when it was finished.
He had intended to bind together a nosegay of sweet-scented
flowers about a central rose, and when he had
finished, his nosegay seemed to him artificial, the blossoms
looked to him as though they were without stems,
tied to dry sticks, and the scent of them had no freshness
for his nostrils. Nevertheless he knew that he had
given to his work all that he possessed of beauty and
refinement in the storehouse of his mind, and he looked
upon the venture as final in deciding his future career.
It is worse to meet with failure on the publication of a
second book, when the first has taken the world by surprise,
than it is to fail altogether at the very beginning.
Many a polished scholar has produced one good volume;
164many a refined and spiritual intelligence has painted one
lovely scene and dropped the brushes for ever, or taken
them up only to blotch and blur incongruous colours
upon a spiritless outline, searching with blind eyes for
the light that shone but once and can never shine again.
Many have shot one arrow in the air and have hit the
central mark, whose fingers scarce knew how to hold the
bow. The first trial is one of half-reasoned, half-inspired
talent; the second shows the artist’s hand; the third
and all that follow are works done in the competition
between master and master, to which neither apprentice
nor idle lover of the art can be admitted. He whose
first great effort has been successful, and whose second
disappoints no one but himself, may safely feel that he
has found out his element and known his own strength.
He will perhaps turn out only a dull master at his craft
as years go on, or he may be but a second-rate artist, but
his apprenticeship has been completed and he will henceforth
be judged by the same standard as other artists and
masters.
George Wood had followed his own instinct in lavishing
so much care and thought and pains upon the book that
was now to appear, and his instinct had not deceived him,
though when he saw the result he feared that he had
made the great false step that is irretrievable. Though
many were ready to accept his work on any terms he
was pleased to name, yet he held back his manuscript for
many weeks, hesitating to give it to the world. The
memory of his first enthusiasms blended in his mind with
the beauties of tales yet untold and darkened in his eyes
the polish of the present work. Constance admired it
exceedingly, saying that, although nothing could ever be
to her like the first, this was so different in every way,
and yet so good, that no unpleasant comparisons could
be made between the two. Then George took it to Johnson
who kept it a long time and would give no opinion
about it until he had read every word it contained.
“This settles it,” he said at last.
165“For better or for worse?” George asked, looking at
the pale young man’s earnest face.
“For better,” Johnson answered without hesitation.
“You are a novelist. It is not so broad as a church-door,
nor so deep as a well—but it will serve. You
will never regret having published it.”
So the book went to the press and in due time appeared,
was tasted, criticised and declared to be good by a majority
of judges, was taken up by the public, was discussed,
liked and obtained a large sale. George was congratulated
by all his friends in terms of the greatest enthusiasm
and he received so many invitations to dinner as
made him feel that either his digestion or his career, or
both, must perish in the attempt to cope with them.
The dinner-party of to-day, considered as the reward of
merit and the expression of good feeling, is no novelty
in the history of the world’s society. Little Benjamin
was expected to eat twelve times as much as any of his
big brothers because Joseph liked him, and the successful
man of to-day is often treated with the same kindly,
though destructive liberality. No one would think it
enough to ask him to tea and overwhelm him with the
praises of a select circle of fashionable people. He must
be made to eat in order that he may understand from the
fulness of his own stomach the fulness of his admirer’s
heart. To heap good things upon the plate of genius
has been in all times considered the most practical way
of expressing the public admiration—and in times not
long past there was indeed a practical reason for such
expression of goodwill, in that genius was liable to be
very hungry even after it had been universally acknowledged.
The world has more than once bowed down from
a respectful distance, to the possessor of a glorious intelligence,
who in his heart would have preferred a solid
portion of bread and cheese to the perishable garlands of
flowers scattered at his feet, or to the less corruptible
monuments of bronze and stone upon which his countrymen
were ready to lavish their gold after he was dead of
starvation.
166A change has come over the world of late, and it may
be that writers themselves have been the cause of it. It
is certain that since those who live by the pen have made
it their business to amuse rather than to admonish and
instruct their substance has been singularly increased
and their path has been made enviably smooth. Their
shadows not only wax and follow the outlines of a pleasant
rotundity, but they are cast upon marble pavements,
inlaid floors and Eastern carpets, instead of upon the
dingy walls and greasy mud of Grub Street. The star
of the public amuser is in the ascendant, and his “Part
of Fortune” is high in the mid-heaven.
It has been said that nothing succeeds like success,
and George very soon began to find out the truth of the
saying. He was ignorant of the strange possibilities of
wealth that were in store for him, and the present was
sufficient for all his desires, and far exceeded his former
hopes. The days were gone by when he had looked
upon his marriage with Constance Fearing as a delicious
vision that could never be realised, and to contemplate
which, even without hope, seemed to be a dangerous
piece of presumption. He had now a future before him,
brilliant, perhaps, but assuredly honourable and successful.
At his age and with his health and strength the
possibility of his being broken down by overwork or
illness did not present itself to him, and, if it had, he
could very well have afforded to disregard it in making
his calculations. The world’s face showed him one
glorious catalogue of hopes and he felt that he was the
man to realise them all.
And now, too, the first of May was approaching again
and he looked forward to receiving a final answer from
Constance. Her manner had changed little towards him
during the winter, but he thought that little had been
for the better. He never doubted, now, that she was
most sincerely attached to him nor that it depended on
anything but her own fancy, to give a name to that
attachment and call it love. Surely the trial had lasted
167long enough, surely she must know her own mind now,
after so many months of waiting. It was two years
since he had first told her that he loved her, a year had
passed away since she had admitted that she loved him
a little, and now the second year, the one she had asked
for as a period of probation had spent itself likewise,
bringing with it for George the first great success of his
life and doubling, trebling his chances of happiness.
His growing reputation was a bond between them, of
which they had forged every link together. Her praise
had stimulated his strength, her delicate and refined
taste had often guided the choice of his thoughts, his
power of language had found words for what was in the
hearts of both. George could no more fancy himself as
working without consulting Constance than he could
imagine what life would be without sight or hearing.
Her charm was upon him and penetrated all he did, her
beauty was the light by which he saw other women, her
voice the music that made harmony of all other sounds.
He loved her now, as women have rarely been loved, for
love had taken root in his noble and generous nature, as
a rare seed in a virgin soil, beautiful from the first and
gaining beauty as it grew in strength and fulness of
proportion. His heart had never been disturbed before,
by anything resembling true passion, there were no
reminiscences to choke the new growth, no dry and
withered stems about which the new love must twine
itself until its spreading leaves and clasping tendrils
made a rich foliage to cover the dead tree. He, she,
the world, love, reputation, were all young together, all
young and fresh, and full of the power to grow. To
think that the prospect of such happiness should be
blighted, the hope of such perfect bliss disappointed
was beyond the power of George’s imagination.
The time was drawing near when he was to have his
answer. He had often done violence to himself of late
in abstaining from all question of her love. Earlier in
the year he had once or twice returned to his old way of
168talking with her, but she had seemed displeased and had
put him off, answering that the first of May was time
enough and that she would tell him then. He had no
means of knowing what was passing in her mind, for she
was almost always the same Constance he had known so
long, gentle, sympathising, ready with encouragement,
enthusiastic concerning what he did well, suggestive
when he was in doubt, thoughtful when his taste did not
agree with hers. Looking back upon those long months
of intimacy George knew that she had never bound herself,
never uttered a promise of any sort, never directly
given him to understand that she would consent to be
his wife. And yet her whole life seemed to him to
have been one promise since he had known her and it
was treason, in his judgment, to suspect her of insincerity.
In the last days of April, he saw less of her than
usual, though he could scarcely tell why. More than
once, when he had hoped to find her alone, there had
been visitors with her, or her sister had been present,
and he had not been able to exchange a word with her
without being overheard. Indeed, when Grace was
established in the room he generally made his visits as
short as possible. There was something in the atmosphere
of the house, too, that filled him with evil
forebodings. Constance often seemed abstracted and
preoccupied; there appeared to be a better understanding
between the sisters in regard to himself than formerly,
and Grace’s manner had changed. In the old days of
their acquaintance she had taken little pains to conceal
her dislike after she had once made up her mind that
George loved her sister, her greeting had been almost
haughty, her words had been few and generally ironical,
her satisfaction at his departure needlessly apparent.
During the last month she had relaxed the severity of
her behaviour, instead of treating him more harshly as
he had expected and secretly hoped. With the unerring
instinct of a man who loves deeply, concerning every
169one except the object of his love, George had read the
signs of the times in the face of his old enemy, and
distrusted her increasing benignity. She, at least, had
come to the conclusion that Constance would not marry
him, and seeing that the necessity for destruction was
decreasing, she allowed the sun of her smiles to penetrate
the dark storm-clouds of her sullen anger. George
would have preferred any convulsion of the elements to
this threatened calm.
Constance Fearing was in great distress of mind. She
had not forgotten the date, nor had she any intention of
letting it pass without fulfilling her engagement and
giving George the definite answer he had so patiently
expected. The difficulty was, to know what that answer
should be. Her indecision could not be ascribed to her
indolence in studying the question. It had been constantly
before her, demanding immediate solution and
tormenting her with its difficulties throughout many
long months. Her conscientious love of truth had forced
her to examine it much more closely than she would
have chosen to do had she yielded to her inclinations.
Her own happiness was no doubt vitally concerned, but
the consideration of absolute loyalty and honesty must
be first and before all things. The tremendous importance
of the conclusion now daily more imminent appalled
her and frightened her out of her simplicity into the
mazes of a vicious logic; and she found the labyrinth of
her difficulties further complicated in that its ways were
intersected by the by-paths of her religious meditations.
When her reason began to grow clear, she suddenly
found it opposed to some one of a set of infallible rules
by which she had undertaken to guide her whole existence.
To-day she prayed to heaven, and grace was
given her to marry George. To-morrow she would examine
her heart and ascertain that she could never love
him as he deserved. Could she marry him when he was
to give so much and she had so little to offer? That
would be manifestly wrong; but in that case why had
170her prayer seemed to be answered so distinctly by an
impulse from the heart? She was evidently not in a
state of grace, since she was inspired to do what was
wrong. Selfishness must be at the bottom of it, and
selfishness, as it was the sin about which she knew most,
was the one within her comprehension which she the
most sincerely abhorred. But if her impulse to marry
George was selfish, was it not the direct utterance of
her heart, and might this not be the only case in life in
which she might frankly follow her own wishes? George
loved her most truly. If she felt that she wished to
marry him, was it not because she loved him? There
was the point, again, confronting her just where she had
begun the round of self-torture. Did she love him?
What was the test of true love? Would she die for
him? Dying for people was theatrical and out of fashion,
as she had often been told. It was much more noble
to live for those one loved than to die for them. Could
she live for George? What did the words mean? Had
she not lived for him, said her heart, during the last
year, if not longer? What nonsense, exclaimed her
reason—as if giving a little encouragement and a great
deal of advice could be called living for a man! It meant
more than that, it meant so much to her that she felt sure
she could never accomplish it. Therefore she did not
love him, and it must all come to an end at once.
She reproached herself bitterly for her weakness that
had lasted so long. She was a mere flirt, a heartless girl
who had ruined a man’s life and happiness recklessly,
because she did not know her own mind. She would be
brave now, at last, before it was quite too late. She
would confess her fault and tell him how despicable she
thought herself, how she repented of her evil ways,
how she would be his best and firmest friend, his sister,
anything that she could be to him, except his wife. He
would be hurt, pained, heartbroken for a while, but he
would see how much better it had been to speak the truth.
But in the midst of her passionate self-accusation, the
171thought of her own state after she should have put him
away for ever, presented itself with painful distinctness.
Whether she loved him or not, he was a part of her life
and she felt that she could not do without him. For one
moment she allowed herself to think of his face if she
told him that she consented to their union at last, she
could see the happy smile she loved so well and hear the
vibrating tones of the voice that moved her more than
other voices. Then, to her inexpressible shame, there
arose before her visions of another kind, and notably the
face of Johnson, the hardworking critic. All at once
George seemed to be surrounded by a host of people
whom she did not know and whom she did not want to
know, men whom, as she remembered to have thought
before, she would not have wished to see at her table,
yet friends of his, faithful friends—Johnson was one at
least—to whom he owed much and whom he would not
allow to slip out of his existence because he had married
Constance Fearing. She blushed scarlet, though she
was alone, and passionate tears of anger at herself burst
from her eyes. To think of that miserable consideration,
she must be the most contemptible of women. Truly, the
baseness of the human heart was unfathomable and shore-less
as the ocean of space itself! Truly, she did not love
him, if she could think such thoughts, and she must tell
him so, cost what it might.
The last night came, preceding the day on which she had
promised to give him her decisive answer. She had
written him a word to say that he was expected, and she
sat down in her own room to fight the struggle over again
for the last time. The morrow was to decide, she thought,
and yet it was impossible to come to any conclusion. Why
had she not set the period at two years instead of one?
Surely, in twelve months more she would have known
her own mind, or at least have seen what course to pursue.
Step by step she advanced once more into the sea
of her difficulties, striving to keep her intelligence free
from prejudice, and yet hoping that her heart would
172speak clearly. But it was of no use, the labyrinth was
more confused than ever, the light less, and her strength
more unsteady. If she thought, it seemed as though her
thoughts would drive her mad, if she prayed, her prayers
were confused and senseless.
“I cannot marry him, I cannot, I cannot!” she cried
at last, utterly worn out with fatigue and anxiety.
She threw herself upon her pillows and tried to rest,
while her own words still rang in her ears. She slept a
little and she uttered the same cry in her sleep. By force
of conscious and unconscious repetition of the phrase, it
became mechanised and imposed itself upon her will.
When the morning broke, she knew that she had resolved
not to marry George Wood, and that her resolution
was irrevocable.
To tell him so was a very different matter. She grew
cold as she thought of the scene that was before her, and
became conscious that her nerves were not equal to such
a strain. She fancied that the decision she had reached
had been the result of her strength in her struggle with
herself. In reality she had succumbed to her own weakness
and had abandoned the contest, feeling that it was
easier to do anything negative rather than to commit herself
to a bondage from which she might some day wish
to escape when it should be too late. With a little more
firmness of character she would have been able to shake
off her doubts and to see that she really loved George
very sincerely, and that to hesitate was to sacrifice everything
to a morbid fear of offending her now over-delicate
conscience. Even now, if she could have known herself,
she would have realised that she had by no means given
up all love for the man who loved her, nor all expectation
of ultimately becoming his wife. She would have
behaved very differently if she had been sure that she
was burning her ships and cutting off all possibility of a
return, or if she had known the character of the man
with whom she had to deal. She had passed through a
sort of nervous crisis, and her resolution was in the main,
173a concession to her desire to gain time. In making it she
had thrown down her arms and given up the fight. The
reaction that followed made it seem impossible for her
to face such a scene as must ensue.
At first it struck her that the best way of getting out
of the difficulty would be to write to George and tell him
her decision in as few words as possible, begging him to
come and see her a week later, when she would do her
best to explain to him the many and good reasons which
had contributed to the present result. This idea, however,
she soon abandoned. It would seem most unkind
to deal such a blow so suddenly and then expect him to
wait so long before enlightening him further upon the
subject. Face him herself, she could not. She might be
weak, she thought, and she was willing to admit it; it
was only to add another unworthiness to the long list
with which she was ready to accuse herself. She could
not, and she would not tell George herself. The only
person who could undertake to bear her message was
Grace.
She felt very kindly disposed to Grace, that morning.
There was a satisfaction in feeling that she could think
of any one without the necessity of considering the question
of her marriage. Besides, Grace had opposed her
increasing liking for George from the beginning, and had
warned her that she would never marry him. Grace had
been quite right, and as Constance was feeling particularly
humble just then, she thought it would be agreeable
to her pride, if she confessed the superiority of Grace’s
judgment. She could accuse herself before her sister of
all her misdeeds without the fear of witnessing George’s
violent grief. Moreover it would be better for George,
too, since, he would be obliged to contain himself when
speaking to her sister as he would certainly not control
his feelings in an interview with herself. To be short,
Constance was willing in that moment to be called a
coward, rather than face the man she had wronged. Her
courage had failed her altogether and she was being carried
174rapidly down stream from one concession to another,
while still trying to give an air of rectitude and self-sacrifice
to all her actions. She was preparing an abyss
of well-merited self-contempt for herself in the future,
though her present satisfaction in her release from responsibility
had dulled her real sense of right and
had left only the artificialities of her morbid conscience
still sensitive to the flattery of imaginary self-sacrifice.
An hour later she was alone with her sister. She had
greeted her in an unusually affectionate way on entering
the room, and the younger girl immediately felt that
something had taken place. She herself was smiling,
and cordial in her manner.
“Grace, dearest,” Constance began, after some little
hesitation, “I want to tell you. You have talked so
much about Mr. Wood—you know, you have always
been afraid that I would marry him, have you not?”
“Not lately,” answered Grace with a pleasant smile.
“Well—do you know? I have thought very seriously
of it, and I had decided to give him a definite answer to-day.
Do you understand? I have treated him abominably,
Grace—oh, I am so sorry! I wish it could all be
undone—you were so right!”
“It is not too late,” observed Grace. Then, seeing
that there were tears in her sister’s eyes, she drew nearer
to her and put her arm round her waist in a comforting
way. “Do not be so unhappy, Conny,” she said in a tone
of deep sympathy. “Men do not break their hearts nowadays——”
“Oh, but he will, Grace! I am sure he will—and the
worst of it is that I must—you know——”
“Not at all, dear. If you like I will break it to
him——”
“Oh, Grace, what a darling you are!” cried Constance,
throwing both her arms round her sister’s neck and kissing
her. “I did not dare to ask you, and I could not, I
could not have done it myself! But you will do it very
175kindly, will you not? You know he has been so good
and patient.”
There was an odd smile on Grace’s strong face when
she answered, but Constance was not in a mood to notice
anything disagreeable just then.
“I will break it to him very gently,” said the young
girl quietly. “Of course you must tell me what I am to
say, more or less—an idea, you know. I cannot say
bluntly that you have sent word that you have decided
not to marry him, can I?”
“Oh no!” exclaimed Constance, suddenly growing very
grave. “You must tell him that I feel towards him just
as I always did——”
“Is that true?”
“Of course. I always told him that I did not love him
enough to marry him. You may as well know it all. A
year ago, he proposed again—well, yes, it was not the
first time. I told him that if on the first of May—this
first of May—I loved him better than I did then, I would
marry him. Well, I have thought about it, again and
again, all the time, and I am sure I do not love him as I
ought, if I were to marry him.”
“I should think not,” laughed Grace, “if it is so hard
to find it out!”
“Oh, you must not laugh at me,” said Constance earnestly.
“It is very, very serious. Have I done right,
Grace? I wish I knew! I have treated him so cruelly,
so hatefully, and yet I did not mean to. I am so fond of
him, I admire him so much, I like his ways—and all—I
do still, you know. It is quite true. I suppose I ought
to be ashamed of it—only, I am sure I never did love
him, really.”
“I have no idea of laughing at the affair,” answered
Grace. “It is serious enough, I am sure, especially for
him.”
“Yes—I want to make a confession to you. I want to
tell you that you were quite right, that I have encouraged
him and led him on and been dreadfully unkind. I am
176sure you think I am a mere flirt, and perfectly heartless!
Is it not true? Well, I am, and it is of no use to deny it.
I will never, never, do such a thing again—never! But
after all, I do like him very much. I never could understand
why you hated him so, from the first.”
“I did not hate him. I do not hate him now,” said
Grace emphatically. “I did hate the idea of his marrying
you, and I do still. I thought it was just as well that
he should see that from the way one member of the family
behaved towards him.”
“He did see it!” exclaimed Constance in a tone of
regret. “It is another of the things I inflicted on him.”
“You? I should rather think it was I——”
“No, it was all my fault, all, everything, from beginning
to end—and you are a darling, Gracey dear, and it
is so sweet of you. You will be very good to him? Yes—and
if he should want to see me very much, after you
have told him everything, I might come down for a
minute. I should so much like to be sure that he has
taken it kindly.”
“If you wish it, you might see him—but I hardly
think—well, do as you think best, dear.”
“Thank you, darling—you know you really are a
darling, though I do not always tell you so. And now,
I think I will go and lie down. I never slept last night.”
“Silly child!” laughed Grace, kissing her on both
cheeks. “As though it mattered so much, after all.”
“Oh, but it does matter,” Constance said regretfully
as she left the room.
When Grace Fearing was alone she went to the window
and looked out thoughtfully into the fresh, morning
air.
“I am very glad,” she said aloud to herself. “I am
very, very glad. But I would not have done it. No,
not for worlds! I would rather cut off my right hand
than treat a man like that!”
In that moment she pitied George Wood with all her
heart.
CHAPTER XIII.
177
When George entered the drawing-room he was surprised
to find Grace there instead of Constance, and it
was with difficulty that he repressed a nervous movement
of annoyance. On that day of all others he had no desire
to meet Grace Fearing, and though he imagined that her
presence was accidental and that he had come before the
appointed time he felt something more of resentment
against the young girl than usual. He made the best of
the situation, however, and put on a brave face, considering
that, after all, when the happiness of a lifetime is
to be decided, a delay of five minutes should not be
thought too serious an affair.
Grace rose to receive him and, coming forward, held
his hand in hers a second or two longer than would have
been enough under ordinary circumstances. Her face
was very grave and her deep brown eyes looked with
an expression of profound sympathy into those of her
visitor. George felt his heart sink under the anticipation
of bad news.
“Is anything the matter, Miss Fearing?” he inquired
anxiously. “Is your sister ill?”
“No. She is not ill. Sit down, Mr. Wood. I have
something to say to you.”
George felt an acute presentiment of evil, and sat
down in such a position with regard to the light that he
could see Grace’s face better than she could see his.
“What is it?” he asked in a tone of constraint.
The young girl paused a moment, moved in her seat,
which she had selected in the corner of a sofa, rested one
elbow on the mahogany scroll that rose at the end of the
old-fashioned piece of furniture, supported her beautifully
moulded chin upon the half-closed fingers of her
white hand and gazed upon George with a look of inquiring
sympathy. There was nothing of nervousness nor
178timidity in Grace Fearing’s nature. She knew what she
was going to do and she meant to do it thoroughly,
calmly, pitilessly if necessary.
“My sister has asked me to talk with you,” she began,
in her smooth, deep voice. “She is very unhappy and
she is not able to bear any more than she has borne
already.”
George’s face darkened, for he knew what was coming
now, as though it were already said. He opened his
lips to speak, but checked himself, reflecting that he did
not know the extent of Grace’s information.
“I am very, very sorry,” she continued, earnestly.
“I need not explain matters. I know all that has happened.
Constance was to have given you a final answer
to-day. She could not bear to do so herself.”
Grace paused an instant, and if George had been less
agitated than he was, he would have seen that her full
lips curled a little as she spoke the last words.
“She has thought it all over,” she concluded. “She
does not love you, and she can never be your wife.”
There was a long pause. Grace changed her position,
leaning far back among the cushions and clasping her
hands upon her knees. At the same time she ceased to
look at the young man’s face, and let her sight wander
to the various objects on the other side of the room.
In the first moment, George’s heart stood still. Then
it began to beat furiously, though it seemed as though
its pulsations had lost the power of propelling the blood
from its central seat. He kept his position, motionless
and outwardly calm, but his dark face grew slowly
white, leaving only black circles about his gleaming eyes,
and his scornful mouth gradually set itself like stone.
He was silent, for no words suggested themselves to his
lips, now, though they had seemed too ready a moment
earlier.
Grace felt that she must say something more. She
was perfectly conscious of his state, and if she had been
capable of fear she would have been frightened by the
magnitude of his silent anger.
179“I have known that this would come,” she said, softly.
“I know Constance better than you can. A very long
time ago, I told her that at the last minute she would
refuse you. She is very unhappy. She begged me to
say all this as gently as possible. She made me promise
to tell you that she felt towards you just as she had
always felt, that she hoped to see you very often, that
she felt towards you as a sister——”
“This is too much!” exclaimed George in low and
angry tones. Then forgetting himself altogether, he
rose from his seat quickly and went towards the door.
Grace was on her feet as quickly as he.
“Stop!” she cried in a voice not loud, but of which
the tone somehow imposed upon the angry man.
He turned suddenly and faced her as though he were
at bay, but she met his look calmly and her eyes did
not fall before his.
“You shall not go away like this,” she said.
“Pardon me,” he answered. “I think it is the best
thing I can do.” There was something almost like a
laugh in the bitterness of his tone.
“I think not,” replied Grace with much dignity.
“Can you have anything more to say to me, Miss
Fearing? You, of all people? Are you not satisfied?”
“I do not understand you, and from the tone in which
you speak, I would rather not. You are very angry,
and you have reason to be—heaven knows! But you
are wrong in being angry with me.”
“Am I?” George asked, recovering some control of
his voice and manner. “I am at least wrong in showing
it,” he added, a moment later. “Do you wish me to
stay here?”
“A few minutes longer, if you will be so kind,” Grace
answered, sitting down again, though George remained
standing before her. “You are wrong to be angry with
me, Mr. Wood. I have only repeated to you my sister’s
words. I have done my best to tell you the truth as
gently as possible.”
180“I do not doubt it. Your mission is not an easy one.
Why did your sister not tell me the truth herself? Is
she afraid of me?”
“Do you think it would have been any easier to bear,
if she had told you?”
“Yes.”
“Why?” Grace asked.
“Because it is better to hear such things directly than
at second hand. Because it is easier to bear such words
when they are spoken by those we love, than by those
who hate us. Because when hearts are to be broken it
is braver to do it oneself than to employ a third person.”
“You do not know what you are saying. I never hated
you.”
“Miss Fearing,” said George, who was rapidly becoming
exasperated beyond endurance, “will you allow me
to take my leave?”
“I never hated you,” Grace repeated without heeding
his question. “I never liked you, and I never was
afraid to show it. But I respect you—no, do not interrupt—I
respect you, more than I did, because I have
found out that you have more heart than I had believed.
I admire you as everybody admires you, for what you do
so well. And I am sorry for you, more sorry than I
can tell. If you would have my friendship, I would
offer it to you—indeed you have it already, from to-day.”
“I am deeply indebted to you,” George answered very
coldly.
“You need not even make a show of thanking me. I
have done you no service, and I should regret it very
much if Constance married you. Do not look surprised.
My only virtue is honesty, and when I have such
things to say you think that is no virtue at all. I
thought very badly of you once. Forgive me, if you
can. I have changed my mind. I have neither said
nor done anything for a long time to influence my sister,
not for nearly a year. Do you believe me?”
George was beginning to be very much surprised at
181Grace’s tone. He was too much under the influence of
a great emotion to reason with himself, but the truthfulness
of her manner spoke to his heart. If she had
condoled with him, or tried to comfort him, he would
have been disgusted, but her straightforward confession
of her own feelings produced a different effect.
“I believe you,” he said, wondering how he could sincerely
answer such a statement with such words.
“Thank you, you are generous.” Grace rose again,
and put out her hand. “Do you care to see her, before
you go?” she asked, looking into his eyes. “I will
send her to you, if you wish it.”
“Yes,” George answered, after a moment’s hesitation.
“I will see her—please.”
He was left alone for a few minutes. Though the sun
was streaming in through the window, he felt cold as he
had never felt cold in his life. His anger had, he
believed, subsided, but the sensation it had left behind
was new and strange to him. He turned as he stood
and his glance fell upon Constance’s favourite chair, the
seat in which she had sat so often and so long while he
had talked with her. Then he felt a sudden pain, so
sharp that it might have seemed the last in life, and he
steadied himself by leaning on the table. It was as
though he had seen the fair young girl lying dead in
that place she loved. But she was not dead. It was
worse. Then his great wrath surged up again, sending
the blood tingling through his sinewy frame to the tips
of his strong fingers, and bringing a different mood with
it, and a sterner humour. He was a very masculine
man, incapable of being long crushed by any blow. He
was sorry, now, that he had asked to see her. Had he
felt thus five minutes earlier, he would have declined
Grace’s offer and would have left the house, meaning
never to re-enter it. But it was too late and he could
no longer avoid the meeting.
At that moment the door opened, and Constance stood
before him. Her face was pale and there were traces
182of tears upon her cheeks. But he was not moved to pity
by any such outward signs of past emotion. She came
and stood before him, and laid one delicate hand upon
his sleeve, looking up timidly to his eyes. He did not
move, and his expression did not change.
“Can you forgive me?” she asked in a trembling
voice.
“No,” he answered, bitterly. “Why should I forgive
you?”
“I know I have not deserved your forgiveness,” she
said, piteously. “I have been very, very wrong—I
have done the worst thing I ever did in my life—I
have been heartless, unkind, cruel, wicked—but—but
I never meant to be——”
“It is small consolation to me to know that you did
not mean it.”
“Oh, do not be so hard!” she cried, the tears rising
in her voice. “I did not mean it so. I never promised
you anything—indeed I never did!”
“It must be a source of sincere satisfaction, to feel
that your conscience is clear.”
“But it is not—I want to tell you all—Grace has not
told you—I like you as much as ever, there is no difference—I
am still fond of you, still very fond of you!”
“Thanks.”
“Oh, George, are you a stone? Will nothing move
you? Cannot you see how I am suffering?”
“Yes. I see.” He neither moved, nor bent his head.
His lips opened and shut mechanically as though they
were made of steel. She looked up again into his face
and his expression terrified her.
She turned away, slowly at first, as though in despair.
Then with a sudden movement she threw herself upon
the sofa and buried her face in the cushions, while a
violent fit of sobbing shook her light frame from head to
foot. George stood still, watching her with stony eyes.
For a full minute nothing was audible but the sound of
her weeping.
183“You are so cold,” she sobbed. “Oh, George, you
will break my heart!”
“You seem to be chiefly overcome by pity for yourself,”
he answered cruelly. “If you have anything else
to say, I will wait. If not——”
She roused herself and sat up, the tears streaming down
her cheeks, her hands clasped passionately together.
“Oh, do not go! Do not go—it kills me to let you
go.”
“Do you think it would? In that case I will stay a
little longer.” He turned away and went to the window.
For some minutes there was silence in the room.
“George——” Constance began timidly. George
turned sharply round.
“I am here. Can I do anything for you, Miss Fearing?”
“Cannot you say you forgive me? Can you not say
one kind word?”
“Indeed, I should find it very hard.”
Constance had recovered herself to some extent, and
sat staring vacantly across the room, while the tears
slowly dried upon her cheeks. Her courage and her
pride were alike gone, and she looked the very picture
of repentance and despair. But George’s heart had been
singularly hardened during the half-hour or more which
he had spent in her house that day. Presently she
began speaking in a slow, almost monotonous tone, as
though she were talking with herself.
“I have been very bad,” she said, “and I know it, but
I have always told the truth. I never loved you enough,
I never cared for you as you deserved. Did I not tell
you so? Oh yes, very often—too often. I should not
have told you even that I cared a little. You are the
best friend I ever had—why have I lost you by loving
you a little? It seems very hard. It is not that you
must forgive, it is that I should have told you so that
I should—you kissed me once—it was not your fault.
I let you do it. There seemed so little harm—and
184yet it was so wrong. And once, because there was pain
in your face, I kissed you, as I would have kissed my
sister. I was so fond of you—I am still, although you
are so cruel and cold. I did think—I really hoped that
I should love you some day. You do not believe me?
What does it matter! You will, for I always told you
what was true—but that is it—I hoped, and I let you
see that I hoped. It was very wrong. Will you try—only
try to forgive me?”
“Do you not think it would be better if you would let
me leave you, Miss Fearing?” George asked, coming
suddenly forward. “It can do very little good to talk
this matter over.”
“Miss Fearing!” exclaimed the young girl with a
sigh. “It is so long since you called me that! Do you
want to go? How should I keep you? Only this, will
you think kindly of me, sometimes? Will you sometimes
think that I helped you—only a little—to be what you
are? Will you say ‘Good-bye, Constance,’ a little
kindly?”
George was moved in spite of himself, and his voice
was softer when he answered her.
“Of what use is it, to speak of these things? You
know all that you have been to me in these years, better
than I can tell you. It turns out that I have been nothing
to you—well, then——”
“Nothing to me! Oh George, you have been everything—my
best friend——” She stopped short.
His heart hardened again. It seemed to him that
every word she spoke was in direct contradiction to her
action.
“Will you tell me one thing?” he asked, after a
pause during which she seemed to be on the point of
bursting into tears again.
“Anything you ask me,” she answered.
“Have you come to this decision yourself, or has your
sister influenced you?” His eyes sought hers and tried
to read her inmost thoughts.
185“It is my own resolution,” she answered without
wavering. “Grace has not spoken of my marrying you
for more than a year.”
“I am glad that it is altogether from your own
heart——”
“Can you think that I would have taken the advice of
some one else?” Constance asked, reproachfully.
“I do not know. It matters very little, after all.
Pardon me if I have been rude or hasty. My manners
may have been a little ruffled by this—this occurrence.
Good-bye.”
She took his hand and tried to press it, looking again
for his eyes. But he drew his fingers away quickly and
was gone before she could detain him. For one moment
she sat staring at the closed door. Then she once more
hid her face in the deep soft cushions and sobbed aloud,
more passionately than the first time.
“Oh, I know I ought to have married him, I know I
really love him!” she moaned.
And so the first act of Constance Fearing’s life comedy
was played out and the curtain fell between her and the
happiness to grasp which she lacked either the will or
the passion, or both. She had acted her part with a sincerity
so scrupulous that it was like a parody of truth.
She had thought of marrying George Wood with delight,
she had broken with him in the midst of what might be
called a crisis of doubt, and she had parted from him
with sincere and bitter tears, feeling that she had sacrificed
all she held dear in the world to the ferocious
Moloch of her conscience.
To follow the action of her intelligence any farther
through the mazes of the labyrinth into which she had
led it would be a labour so stupendous that no sensible
person could for a moment contemplate the possibility
of performing the task, and for the present Constance
Fearing must be left to her tears, her meditations, and
her complicated state of mind with such pity as can be
spared for her weaknesses and such kind thoughts as may
186be bestowed by the charitable upon her gentle character.
It will be easier to understand the strong passion and the
bitter disappointment which agitated George Wood’s
powerful nature during the hours which followed the
scenes just described.
His day was indeed not over yet, though he felt as
though the sun had gone down upon his life before
it was yet noon. He was neither morbid nor self-conscious,
nor did he follow after the chimera introspection.
He was simply and savagely angry with
Constance, with himself, with the whole known and
unknown world. For the time, he forgot who he was,
what he was, and all that he had done or that he might
be expected to do in the future. He knew that Constance
had spoken the truth in saying that she had
promised nothing. The greater madman he, to have expected
anything whatever! He knew that her whole life
and conversation had been one long promise during nearly
two years—the more despicably heartless and altogether
contemptible she was, then, for since she had spoken
what was true she had acted what was a lie from beginning
to end. Forgive her? He had given her his only
answer. Why should he forgive her? Were there any
extenuating circumstances in her favour? Not one—and
if there had been, he knew that he would have torn
that one to tatters till it was unrecognisable to his sense
of justice. Her tears, her pathetic voice, her timidity,
even her pale face—they had all been parts of the play,
harmonic chords in the grand close of lies that had
ended her symphony of deception. She had even prepared
his ears by sending Grace to him with her warm,
sympathetic eyes, her rich, deep voice and her tale of
spontaneous friendship. It was strange that he should
have believed the other girl, even for one moment, but
he admitted that he had put some faith in her words.
How poor a thing was the strongest man when desperately
hurt, ready to believe in the first mockery of sympathy
that was offered him, ready to catch at the mere
187shadow of a straw blown by the wind! Doubtless the
two sisters had concocted their comedy overnight and
had planned their speeches to produce the proper effect
upon his victimised feelings. He had singularly disappointed
them both, in that case. They would have to
think longer and think more wisely the next time they
meant to deceive a man of his character. He remembered
with delight every cold, hard word he had spoken,
every cruelly brutal answer he had given. He rejoiced
in every syllable saving only that “I believe you” he
had bestowed on Grace’s asseverations of friendship and
esteem. And he had been weak enough to ask Constance
whether Grace had spoken the truth, as if they had not
arranged between them beforehand every sentence of each
part! That had been weakness indeed! How they would
laugh over his question when they compared notes! By
this time they were closeted together, telling each other
all he had said and done. On the whole, there could not
be much to please them, and he had found strings for
most of his short phrases after the first surprise was over.
He was glad that he disbelieved them both, and so thoroughly.
If there had been one grain of belief in Constance
left to him, how much he still might suffer. His
illusion had fallen, but it had fallen altogether with one
shock, in one general and overwhelming crash. There
was not one stone of his temple whole that it might be
set upon another, there was not one limb, one fragment
of his beautiful idol that might recall its loveliness. All
was gone, wholly, irrevocably, and he was glad that it
was all gone together. The ruin was so complete that
he could doubtless separate the memory of the past from
the fact of the present, and dwell upon it, live upon it,
as he would. If he met Constance now, he could behave
towards her as he would to any other woman. She was
not Constance any more. Her name roused no emotion
in his heart, the thought of her face as he had last seen
it was not connected with anything like love. Her false
face, that had been so true and honest once! He could
scorn the one and yet love the other.
188If George had been less absorbed in his angry thoughts,
or had known that there was anything unusual in his expression,
he would not have walked up Fifth Avenue on
his way from Washington Square. The times were
changed since he had been able to traverse the thoroughfare
of fashion in the comparative certainty of not meeting
an acquaintance. Before he had gone far, he was
conscious of having failed to return more than one
friendly nod, and he was disgusted with himself for
allowing his emotions to have got the better of his
habitually quick perception. At the busy corner of
Fourteenth Street he stopped upon the edge of the pavement,
debating for a moment whether he should leave the
Avenue and go home by the elevated road, or strike across
Union Square and take a long walk in the less crowded
parts of the city. Just then, a familiar and pleasant
voice spoke at his elbow.
“Why, George!” exclaimed Totty Trimm. “How
you look! What is the matter with you?”
“How do you do, cousin Totty? I do not understand.
Is there anything the matter with my face?”
“I wish you could see yourself in the glass!” cried
the little lady evidently more and more surprised at his
unusual expression. “I wish you could. You are as
white as a sheet, with great rings round your eyes.
Where in the world have you been?”
“I? Oh, I have only been making a visit at the Fearings.
I suppose I am tired.”
“The Fearings?” repeated Totty, with a sweet smile.
“How odd! I was just going there—walking, you see,
because it is such a lovely afternoon. You won’t come
back with me? They won’t mind seeing you twice in
the same day, I daresay.”
“Thanks,” answered George, speaking hurriedly, and
growing, if possible, paler than before. “I think it
would be rather too much. Besides, I have a lot of
work to do.”
“Well—go in and see Mamie on your way up. She
189is alone—got a horrid cold, poor child! She will be so
glad and she will give you a cup of tea. You might put
a little of that old whiskey of Sherry’s into it. I am
sure you are not well, George. You are looking wretchedly.
Good-bye, dear boy.”
Totty squeezed his hand warmly, gave him an earnest
and affectionate look, and tripped away down the
Avenue. George wondered whether she had guessed
that there was anything wrong.
“I suppose I ought to have lied,” he said to himself,
as he crossed the thoroughfare. “They will—but I
cannot do it so well. I ought to have told her that I had
been to the club.”
Totty Trimm had not only guessed that something was
very wrong indeed. She had instinctively hit upon the
truth. She, like many other people, had seen long ago
that George was in love with Constance Fearing, and she
had for a long time been glad of it. During the last
three or four days, however, she had changed her mind
in a way very unusual with her, and she had been hoping
with all her heart that something would happen to
break off a match that seemed to be very imminent. The
matter had been so constantly in her thoughts that she
referred to it everything she heard about the Fearings
and about George. She had not really had the slightest
intention of going to the house in Washington Square
when she had met her cousin, but the determination had
formed itself so quickly that she had spoken the truth in
declaring it. She made up her mind to see Constance
the moment she had seen George’s face and had learned
that he had been with her. She pursued her way with
a light heart, and her nimble little feet carried her more
lightly and smoothly than ever. She rang the bell and
asked if the young ladies were at home.
“Yes ma’am,” answered the servant, “but Miss Constance
is not very well, and is gone to her room with a
headache, and Miss Grace said she would see no one,
ma’am.”
190“I just met Mr. Wood,” objected Totty, “and he said
he had been here this afternoon.”
“Yes ma’am, and so he was, and it’s since Mr. Wood
left that the orders was given. Shall I take your card,
Mrs. Trimm, ma’am?”
“No. It is of no use. You can tell the young ladies
I called.”
She descended the steps and went quickly back towards
Fifth Avenue. There was great joy and triumph in her
breast and her smile shed its radiance on the trees on
the deserted pavement and on the stiff iron railings as
she went along.
“That idiotic little fool!” said Mrs. Sherrington Trimm
in her heart. “She loves him, and she has refused one
of the best matches in New York because she fancies he
wants her money!”
She reflected that if Mamie had the same chance, she
should certainly not refuse George Winton Wood, and
she determined that if diplomacy could produce the necessary
situation, she would not be long in bringing matters
to the proper point. There is no time when a man
is so susceptible, so ready to yield to the charms of one
woman as when he has just been jilted by another—so,
at least, thought Totty, and her worldly experience was
by no means small. And if the marriage could be brought
about, why then——Totty’s radiant face expressed the
rest of her thoughts better than any words could have
done.
While she was making these reflections the chief figure
in her panorama was striding up the Avenue at a rapid
pace. Strange to say his cousin’s suggestion, that he
should go and see Mamie had proved rather attractive
than otherwise. He did not care to walk the streets,
since Totty had been so much surprised by his appearance.
He might meet other acquaintances, and be
obliged to speak with them. If he went home he would
have to face his father, who would not fail to notice his
looks, and who might guess the cause of his distress, for
191the old gentleman was well aware that his son was in
love with Constance and hoped with all his heart that
the marriage might not be far distant. Mamie would be
alone, Mamie knew nothing of his doings, she was a good
girl, and he liked her. To spend an hour with her
would cost him nothing, as she would talk the greater
part of the time, and he would gain a breathing space in
which to recover from the shock he had received. She
was indeed the only person whom he could have gone to
see at that moment without positive suffering, except
Johnson, and he was several miles from the office of
Johnson’s newspaper.
As he approached the Trimms’ house his pace slackened,
as though he were finally debating within himself
upon the wisdom of making the visit. Then as he came
within sight of the door he quickened his steps again
and did not pause until he had rung the bell. A moment
later he entered the drawing-room where Mamie Trimm
was sitting in a deep easy-chair, among flowers near a
sunlit window. She held a book in her hand.
“Oh George!” she cried, blushing with pleasure. “I
am so glad—I am all alone.”
“And what are you reading, all alone among the
roses?” asked George kindly.
“What do you think?”
Then she held up the novel for him to see. It was
the book he had just published.
CHAPTER XIV.
Mamie Trimm was one of those young girls of whom
it is most difficult to give a true impression by describing
them in the ordinary way. To say that her height was
so many feet and so many inches—fewer inches than
the average—that her hair was very fair, her eyes grey,
192her nose small, her mouth large, her complexion clear,
her figure well proportioned, to say all this is to say
nothing at all. A passport, in the days of passports,
would have said as much, and the description would have
just sufficed to point out Mamie Trimm if she had found
herself in a company of tall women with black hair,
large features and imposing presence. It would have
been easier for a man to find her amongst a bevy of girls
of her age, if he had been told that she possessed a
charm of her own, which nobody could define. It would
help him in his search, to be informed that she looked
very delicate, but was not so in reality, that her figure
was not only well proportioned, but was very exceptionally
perfect and graceful, and that, but for her well-set
grey eyes and her transparent complexion, her face
could never have been called pretty. All these points
may have combined to produce the aforesaid individuality
that was especially hers. Little is known, I believe,
of that fair young girl of whom Charles Lamb
wrote to Landor—“Rose Aylmer has a charm that I
cannot explain.” Mamie Trimm was George Wood’s
Rose Aylmer.
He had known her all her life and there was between
them that sort of intimacy which cannot exist at all
unless it has begun in childhood. The patronising
superiority of the schoolboy has found a foil in the
clinging admiration of the little girl who is only half
his age. The budding vanity of the young student has
delighted in “explaining things” to the slim maiden of
fourteen who believes all his words and worships all his
ideas, the struggling, striving, hardworking beginner
has found comfort in the unfailing friendship and devotion
of the accomplished young woman whom he still
thinks of as a child, and treats as a sister, not realising
that the difference between fourteen and seven is one
thing, while that between five or six and twenty, and
eighteen or nineteen is quite another.
When a friendship of that kind has begun in childish
193years it is not easily broken, even though the subsequent
intercourse be occasionally interrupted. Of late, indeed,
Constance Fearing had taken, and more than taken
Mamie’s place in George’s life. He had seen his cousin
constantly of course, but she had felt that he was not to
her what he had been, that something she could not
understand had come between them, and that she had
been deprived of something that had given her pleasure.
On the other hand, it was precisely at this time that she
had made her first appearance in society and her life had
been all at once made very full of new interests and
new amusements. She had been received into the bosom
of social institutions with enthusiasm, she had held her
own with tact, she had danced at every ball, had received
offers of marriage about once in three months, had
refused them all systematically and was, on the whole,
in the very prime of an American girl’s social career.
If her head had been turned by much admiration, she
had concealed the fact very well, and the expression of
her attractive face had not changed for the worse after
two years of uninterrupted gaiety. She was still as
innocently fond of George as she had been when a little
girl and if the exigencies of continual amusement had
deprived her of some of his companionship, she looked
upon the circumstance with all the fatalism of the very
young and the very happy, as a matter to be regretted
when she had time for regrets, but inevitable and predestined.
Her regrets, indeed, had not troubled her
much until very lately, when George’s growing reputation
had begun to draw him into the current of society.
She had seen then for the first time that there was
another person, somewhat older than herself, in whose
company he delighted as he had never delighted in her
own, and her dormant jealousy had been almost awakened
by the sight. It seemed to her that she had always
had a prior right and claim upon her cousin’s attention
and conversation, and she did not like to find her right
contested, especially by one so well able to maintain her
194conquests against all comers as was Constance Fearing.
In her innocence, she had more than once complained to
her mother that George neglected her, but hitherto her
observations on the subject had received no sympathy
from Mrs. Sherrington Trimm. Totty had no idea of
allowing her only child to marry a penniless man of
genius, and though, as has been set forth in the early
part of this history she felt it incumbent upon her to do
something for George, and encouraged his visits, she
took care that he should meet Mamie as rarely as possible
in her own house. As for Sherrington Trimm himself,
he cared for none of these things. If Mamie loved
George, she was welcome to marry him, if she did not
there would be no hearts broken. George might come
and go in his house and be welcome.
Mamie Trimm’s undefinable charm doubtless covered
a multitude of defects. She was of course very well
educated, in the sense in which that elastic term is generally
applied to all young girls of her class. It would
be more true to say that she, like most of her associates,
had been expensively educated. Nothing had been
omitted which, according to popular social belief can
contribute to the production of a refined and accomplished
feminine mind. She had been taught at great
pains a number of subjects of which she remembered
little, but of which the transient knowledge had contributed
something to the formation of her taste. She
had been instructed in the French language with a care
perhaps not always bestowed upon the subject in France,
and the result was that she could read novels written in
that tongue and, under great pressure of necessity, could
converse tolerably in it, though the composition of the
shortest note plunged her into a despair that would have
been comic had it been less real. She possessed a shadowy
acquaintance with German and knew a score of
Italian words. In the department of music, seven years
of study had given her some facility in playing simple
dance music, and she was able to accompany a song
195tolerably, provided the movement were not too fast.
On the other hand she danced to perfection, rode well
and played a very fair game of lawn-tennis, and she got
even more credit for these accomplishments than she
deserved because her naturally transparent complexion
and rather thin face had always made the world believe
that her health was not strong.
In character she was neither very sincere, nor by any
means unscrupulous. Her conscience was in a very
natural state, considering her surroundings, and she
represented very fairly the combination of her mother’s
worldly disposition with her father’s cheerful, generous
and loyal nature. She was far too much in love with
life to be morbid, and far too sensible to invent imaginary
trials. She had never thought of examining herself,
any more than she would have thought of pulling
off a butterfly’s wings to see how they were fastened to
its body. Her simplicity of ideas was dashed with a
sprinkling of sentimentality which was natural enough at
her age, but of which she felt so much ashamed that she
hid it jealously from her father and mother and only
showed a little of it to her most intimate friend when
she had danced a little too long or suspected herself of
having nearly accepted an offer of marriage. It was
indeed with her, rather a quality than a weakness, for it
sometimes made her feel that life did not consist entirely
in waltzing a dozen miles every night and in talking over
the race the next morning. The only visible signs of
this harmless sentimentality were to be found in a secret
drawer of her desk and took the shape of two or three
dried flowers, a scrap of ribband and a dance programme
in which the same initials were scrawled several times.
She did not open the drawer at dead of night and kiss
the flowers, nor hold the faded ribband to her hair, nor
bedew the crumpled little bit of illuminated cardboard
with her warm tears. On the contrary she rarely
unlocked the receptacle unless it were to add some new
memento to the collection, and on such occasions the
196principal reason why she did not summarily eject the
representatives of older memories was that she felt a
sort of good-natured pity for them, as though they had
been living things and might be hurt by being thrown
away. Her dainty room contained, indeed more than
one object given her by George Wood, from a collection
of picture-books that bore the marks of age and rough
usage, to her first tennis racquet, now battered and half
unstrung, and from that to a pretty toilet-clock set in
chiselled silver which her cousin had given her on her
last birthday, as a sort of peace-offering for his neglect.
It never would have entered her head, however, to hide
anything she had received from him in the secret drawer.
There was no sentimentality about her feelings for him,
and if there was a sentiment it was of the better and
stronger sort. She felt that she had a right to like
George, and that his gifts had a right to be seen. Once
or twice, of late, when she had been watching him
through the greater part of an evening while he talked
earnestly with Constance Fearing, Mamie had felt an
itching in her fingers to take everything he had given
her and to throw all into the street together; but she
had always been glad on the next day that she had not
yielded to the destructive impulse, and she had once
dreamed that, having carried out her dire intention
George had picked up the various articles in the street
and had brought them back to her, neatly packed in a
basket, with a sardonic smile on his grave face. Since
then, she had thought more of Constance than of George’s
old picture-books, the worn-out racquet, or the clock.
Mamie bore no malice against him, however, though
she was beginning to dislike the name of Fearing in a
way that surprised herself. If George talked to her at
a party, she was always herself, graceful, winning and
happy; if he came to see her, the same words of welcome
rose to her lips and the same soft colour flashed through
the alabaster of her cheek, a colour which, as her mother
thought, should not have come so easily for one who was
197already so dear. The careful Totty heard love’s light
tread afar off and caught the gleam of his weapons
before it was yet day, her maternal anxiety had been
stirred, and the devotion of the social tigress to her
marriageable young had been roused almost to the point
of self-sacrifice. Indeed, she had more than once interrupted
some pleasant conversation of her own, in order
to draw Mamie away from George, and more than once
she had stayed at home when Mamie was tired with the
dancing of the previous night lest in her absence George’s
evil genius should lead him to the house. Fortunately
for her, no one had given her more constant and valuable
assistance than George himself, which was the
reason why Totty had not ceased to like him. Had he,
on his part seemed as glad to be with Mamie, as Mamie
to be with him, the claws of the tigress would have
fastened upon him with sudden and terrible ferocity and
would have accompanied him to the front door. There
would now in all likelihood be a change in the tigress’s
view of the matter, and what had until lately seemed
one of George’s best recommendations, would soon be
regarded in the light of a serious defect. The position
of the invader had been very much changed since the
day on which Totty Trimm had been left alone in the
strong room for a quarter of an hour, and had brought
away with her the last will and testament of Thomas
Craik.
If George had ever in his life felt anything approaching
to love for Mamie, he could not have failed to notice
that Totty had done all in her power to keep the two apart
during the past three years, in other words since Mamie
had been of a marriageable age. But it had always
been a matter of supreme indifference to him whether
he were left alone with her or not, and to-day it had not
struck him that Totty had never before proposed that
he should go and spend an hour with her daughter when
there was nobody about. Totty herself, if her heart had
not been bursting with an anticipated triumph, would
198have been more cautious, and would have thought twice
before making her suggestion with so much frankness.
In the moment of her meeting with him and guessing the
truth so many possibilities had suggested themselves to
her that she had not found time to reflect, and she had
for an instant entertained the idea of returning immediately
from Washington Square to her own home, in
order to find George there and perform the part of the
skilful and interested consoler. A very little consideration
showed her that this would be an unwise course to
pursue, and she had adopted a plan infinitely more diplomatic,
of which the results will be seen and appreciated
before long. In the meantime George Wood was seated
beside Mamie and her flowers, listening to her talk, answering
her remarks rather vaguely, and wondering why
he was alive, and since he was alive, why he was in that
particular place.
“You look tired, George,” said the young girl, studying
his face. “You look almost ill.”
“Do I? I am all right. I have been doing a lot of
work lately. And you, Mamie—what is the matter?
Your mother told me just now that you had a bad cold.
I hope it is nothing serious.”
“Oh, it is nothing. I wanted to read your book, and
I did not want to make visits, and I had just enough of
a cold to make a good excuse. A cold is so useful sometimes—it
is just the same thing that your writing is to
you. Everybody believes it is inevitable, and then one
can do as one pleases. But you really do look dreadfully.
Have some tea—with a stick in it as papa calls it.”
Mamie laughed a little at her own use of the slang
term, though her eyes showed that she was really made
anxious by George’s appearance.
“Thank you,” he answered. “I do not want anything,
but I am very tired, and when your mother told me you
were all alone at home I thought it would do me good to
come and stay with you a little while, if you would talk
to me.”
199“I am so glad you came. I have not seen much of you,
lately.” There was a ring of regret in her voice.
“You have been so gay. How can I get at you when
you are racing through society all the year round from
morning till night?”
“Oh, it is not that, George, and you know it is not!
We have often been in the same gay places together, and
you hardly ever come near me, though I would much
rather talk with you than with all the other men.”
“No you would not—and if you would, you are such
a raving success, as they call it, this year, that you are
always surrounded—unless you are sitting in corners
with the pinks of desirability whose very shoe-strings
are a cut above the ‘likes o’ me.’ When are you going
to marry, Mamie?”
“When somebody asks me, sir—she said,” laughed
the young girl.
“Who is somebody?”
“I do not know,” answered Mamie with an infinitesimal
sigh. “People have asked me, you know,” she
added with another laugh, “any number of them.”
“But not the particular somebody who haunts your
dreams?” asked George.
“He has not even begun to haunt me yet. You do,
though. I dreamed of you the other night.”
“You? How odd! What did you dream about me?”
“Such a funny dream!” said Mamie, leaning forward
and smelling the roses beside her. It struck George as
strange that the colour from the dark red petals should
be thrown up into her face by the rays of the sun, though
he knew something of the laws of incidence and reflection.
“I dreamed,” continued Mamie, still holding the roses,
“that I was very angry with you. Then I took all the
things you ever gave me, the picture-books, and the
broken doll, and the old racquet and the clock—by
the by, it goes beautifully—and I threw them all out of
my window into the street. And, of course, you were
200passing just at that moment, and you brought them all
into the house in a basket, nicely done up in pink paper,
and handed them back to me with that horrid smile you
have when you are going to say something perfectly
hateful.”
“And then, what happened?” inquired George, who
was amused in spite of himself.
“Oh, nothing. I suppose I woke just then. I laughed
over it the next morning.”
“But what made you so angry with me?”
“Nothing—that is—the usual thing. The way you
always behave to me at parties.”
George looked at her in silence for a second, before he
spoke again.
“Do you mean to say that you really care,” he asked,
“whether I talk to you at parties, or not?”
“Of course I care!” exclaimed the young girl. “What
a question!”
“I am sure I cannot see why. I am not a very amusing
person. But since you would like me to talk to you,
I will, as much as you please.”
“It is too late now,” answered Mamie, laying down
the roses she had held so long. “Everything is over, or
will be in a day or two, and you will not get a chance
unless you come and stay with us this summer. Why
do you never come and stay with us? I have often wondered.”
“I was never asked,” said George indifferently. “I
could not well come without an invitation. And besides,
I have generally been very busy in the summer.”
“Did they never ask you?” inquired Mamie in evident
surprise. “Mamma must have forgotten it.”
“I daresay,” George replied, rather dreamily. His
thoughts were wandering from the conversation.
“She shall, this time,” said Mamie with considerable
emphasis. Then there was silence for some moments.
George did not know what she was thinking and cared
very little to inquire. He was conscious that the surroundings
201in which he found himself were soothing to
his humour, that Mamie’s harmless talk was pleasant to
his ear, and that if he had gone anywhere else on that
afternoon, he might have committed some act of folly
which would have had serious consequences. He was
neither able nor anxious to understand his own state,
since, whatever it might be, he desired to escape from
it, and he was grateful for all external circumstances
which helped his forgetfulness. He was no doubt conscious
that it would be out of the question to recover
from such a shock as he had received without passing
through much suffering on his way to ultimate consolation.
But he had been stunned and overcome by what
had happened. The first passion of almost uncontrollable
anger that swept over his nature had left him dull
and almost apathetic for the time, bruised and willing
to accept thankfully any peace that he could find.
Presently, Mamie turned the conversation to his books
and talked enthusiastically of his success. She had read
what he had written with greater care and understanding
than he had expected of her, and she quoted whole passages
from his novels, puzzling him sometimes with her
questions, but pleasing him in spite of himself by her
sincere and admiring appreciation. At last he rose to
leave her.
“I wish you would stay,” she said regretfully. But
he shook his head. “Why not stay the rest of the afternoon?”
she suggested. “We are not going out this
evening and you could dine with us, just as you are.”
This was altogether more than George wanted. He
did not care to meet Totty again on that day.
“Then come again soon,” said Mamie. “I have enjoyed
it so much—and we are not going out of town for
another fortnight.”
“But you may not have another cold, Mamie,” George
observed.
“Oh, I will always have a cold, if you will come and
sit with me,” answered the young girl.
202When George was once more in the street, he stared
about him as though not knowing where he was. Then,
when the full force of his disappointment struck him for
the second time, he found it hard to believe that he had
been spending an hour in careless conversation with his
cousin. He looked at his watch mechanically, and saw
that it was late in the afternoon. It was as though a
dream had separated him from his last interview with
Constance Fearing. Of that, at least, he had forgotten
nothing; not a word of what she had said, or of what he
had answered, had escaped his memory, every syllable
was burned into the page of his day. Then came the
great question, which had not suggested itself at first.
Why had all this happened? What hidden reason was
there in obedience to which Constance had so suddenly
cast him off? Had she weakly yielded to Grace’s influence?
He had little faith in Grace’s assurance that
she had been silent, nor in Constance’s confirmation of
the statement. And Constance was weak. He had often
suspected it, and had even wondered whether she would
withstand the pressure brought to bear upon her and
against himself. Yet her weakness alone did not explain
what she had done. It had needed strength of
some sort to face him, to tell him to his face what she
had first told him through her sister’s words. But her
weakness had shown itself even then. She had wept and
hidden her face and cried out that he was breaking her
heart, when she was breaking his. George ground his
heel upon the pavement.
Her heart, indeed! She had none. She was but a
compound of nerves, prettiness and vanity, and he had
believed her the noblest, bravest and best of women. He
had lavished upon her with his lips and in his books
such language as would have honoured a goddess, and
she had turned out to be only a weak shallow-hearted
girl, ready to break an honest man’s heart, because she
did not know her own mind. He cursed his ignorance
of human nature and of woman’s love, as he strode along
203the street toward his own home. Yet, rave as he would,
he could not hate her, he could not get rid of the sharp
pain that told him he had lost what he held most dear
and was widowed of what he had loved best.
When he was at home and in his own room he became
apathetic again. He had never known himself subject
to such sudden changes of humour and at first he vaguely
imagined that he was going to be ill, and that his nerves
would break down. His father had not yet come home
from the walk which was a part of his regular mode of
life. George sat in his deep old easy-chair by the corner
of his table and wondered whether all men who were
disappointed in love felt it as he did. He tried to smoke
and then gave it up in disgust. He rose from his seat
and attempted to arrange the papers that lay in heaps
about the place where he wrote, but his fingers trembled
oddly and he felt alternately hot and cold. He
opened a book and tried to read, but the effort to concentrate
his attention was maddening. He felt as though
he must be stifled in the little room that had always
seemed a haven of rest before, and yet he did not know
where to go. He threw open the window and stood
looking at the rows of windows just visible above the
brick wall at the back of the road. The shadows were
deepening below and the sky above was already stained
with the glow of evening. The prospect was not beautiful,
but the cool air that fanned his face was pleasant to
his senses, and he remained standing a long time, so long
indeed that the stars began to shine overhead before he
drew back and returned to his seat. Far down in his
sensitive character there was a passionate love of all
that is beautiful in the outer world. He hid it from
every one, for some reason which he could not explain,
but he occasionally let it show itself in his writings and
the passages in which he had written of nature as it
affected him, had not failed to be noticed for their peculiar
grace and tenderness of execution. Since he had
begun to write books all nature had become associated
204with Constance. He had often wondered what the connecting
link could be, but had found no answer to the
question. A star in the evening sky, a ray of moonlight
upon rippling water, the glow of the sunset over drifted
snow, the winnowed light of summer’s afternoon beneath
old trees, the scent of roses wet with dew, the sweet
smell of country lanes when a shower had passed by—all
these things acted like a charm upon him to raise the
vision of Constance before his eyes. To-night he could
not bear to look at the bright planet that was shining in
that strip of exquisitely soft sky above the hard brick
buildings.
That evening he sat with his father, a rather rare
occurrence since he had gone so much into the world.
The old gentleman had looked often at him during their
meal but had said nothing about the careworn look of
exhaustion that he saw in his son’s face. It was nearly
ten o’clock when Jonah Wood laid down his book by his
side and raised his eyes. George had been trying to
read also, and during the last half-hour he had almost
succeeded.
“What is the matter with you, George?” asked his
father.
George let his book fall upon his knee and stared at
the lamp for a few seconds. He did not want sympathy
from his father nor from any one else, but as he supposed
that he would be unable to conceal his nervousness and
ill temper for a long time to come, and as his father was
the person who would suffer the consequences of both,
he thought it better to speak out.
“I do not think there is anything the matter with my
bodily condition,” he answered at last. “I am afraid I
am bad company, and shall be for a few days. This
afternoon, Miss Fearing refused to marry me. I loved
her. That is what is the matter, father.”
Jonah Wood uncrossed his legs and crossed them again
in the opposite way rather suddenly, which was his
especial manner when he was very much surprised.
205Mechanically, he took up his book again, and held it
before his eyes. Then his answer came at last in a
rather indistinct voice.
“I am sorry to hear that, George. I had thought she
was a nice girl. But you are well out of it. I never did
think much of women, anyhow, except your dear mother.”
So far as words went, that was all the consolation
George got from his father; but he knew better than to
suppose that the old gentleman would waste language in
condolence, whatever he might feel. That he felt something,
and that strongly, was quite evident from the fact
that although he conscientiously held his book before
his eyes during the half-hour that followed, he never
once turned over the page.
George rested little that night, and when at last he was
sound asleep in the broad daylight, he was awakened by
a knock at the door and a voice calling him. On looking
out a note was handed to him, addressed in Totty Trimm’s
brisk, slanting, ladylike writing. He was told that an
answer was expected and that the messenger was waiting.
“Dear George,” Totty wrote, “I cannot tell you how
amazed and distressed I am. I do hope there is not a
word of truth in it, and that you will write me so at
once. It is all over New York that Conny Fearing has
jilted you in the most abominable way! Of course we
all knew that you had been engaged ever so long. If
it is true, she is a cruel, heartless, horrid girl, and she
never deserved you. Do write, and do come and see me
this afternoon. I shall not go out at all for fear of
missing you. I am so, so sorry! In haste.—Your
affectionate
Totty.”
George swore a great oath, then and there. He had
not mentioned the subject to any one but his father, so
that either Constance or Grace must have told what had
happened.
That the story really was “all over New York,” as
Totty expressed it, he found out very soon.
CHAPTER XV.
206
Totty had lost no time in spreading the report that
everything was broken off between George Wood and
Constance Fearing, and she had done it so skilfully that
no one would have thought of tracing the story to her,
even if it had proved to be false. She had cared very
little what George himself thought about it, though she
had not failed to see that he would lay the blame of the
gossip on the Fearings. The two girls, indeed, could
have no object in circulating a piece of news which did
not reflect much credit upon themselves. What Totty
wanted was in the first place that George should know
that she was acquainted with his position, in order that
she might play the part of the comforter and earn his
gratitude. She could not of course question him directly,
and she was therefore obliged to appear as having heard
the tale from others; to manage this with success, it was
necessary that the circumstances of the case should be
made common property. Secondly, and here Totty’s
diplomatic instinct showed itself at its strongest, she
was determined to prevent all possibility of a renewal
of relations between Constance and George. In due
time, probably in twenty-four hours at the latest, both
Constance and Grace would know that all society was in
possession of their secret. Having of course not mentioned
it themselves to any one, they would feel sure
that George had betrayed them in his anger, and would
be proportionately incensed against him. If both parties
should be so angry as to come to an explanation, which
was improbable, neither would believe the other, the
quarrel would grow and the breach would be widened.
Totty herself would of course take George’s part, as
would the majority of his acquaintance, and he would
be grateful for such friendly support at so trying a time.
Matters turned out very nearly as Mrs. Sherrington
207Trimm had anticipated. There was, indeed, a slight
variation in the programme, but she was not aware of it
at the time, and if she had noticed it she would not have
attached to it the importance it deserved. It chanced
that Constance and Grace Fearing and George Wood had
been asked with certain other guests to dine with a certain
young couple lately returned from their wedding
tour in Europe. The invitations had been sent and
accepted on the last day of April, that is to say on the
day preceding the one on which Constance gave George
her definite refusal, and the dinner was to take place
three or four days later. Now the young couple, who
had bought a small place on the Hudson river, and were
anxious to move into it as soon as possible, took advantage
of those three or four days to go up to their country-house
and to arrange it for themselves according to their
ideas of comfort. They returned to town on the morning
of their party and were of course ignorant of the
gossip which had gone the rounds in their absence.
Late on the afternoon of the day the husband came home
from his club in great distress to tell his wife that Constance
Fearing had thrown over George Wood and that
the two were not on speaking terms. It was too late to
make any excuse to their guests, so as to divide the party
and give two separate dinners on different days. The
worst of it was, that their table was small, the guests
had been carefully arranged, and George Wood must
inevitably sit beside either Constance or Grace. The
young couple were in despair and spent all the time that
was left in trying vainly to redistribute the places.
There was nothing to be done but to put George next to
Grace and to effect a total ignorance of the difficulty.
At the last moment, however, the young hostess thought
she could improve matters by speaking a word to George
when he arrived. Constance and her sister, however,
came before him.
“I am so sorry!” said the lady of the house quickly
in the ear of the elder girl, as she drew her a little aside.
208“Mr. Wood is coming—we have been out of town, and
knew nothing about it—I do hope——”
“I am very glad he is to be here,” answered Constance.
She was very pale and very calm.
“Oh dear!” exclaimed the hostess, growing very red.
“I hope I have said nothing——”
“Not at all,” said Constance reassuring her. “There
is a foolish bit of gossip in the air, I believe. The facts
are very simple. Mr. Wood is a very old and good friend
of mine. He asked me to marry him, and I could not.
I like him very much and I hope we shall be as good
friends as before. If there is any blame in the matter
I wish to bear it. There he is.”
The hostess felt better after this, but her curiosity
was excited, and as George entered the room she went
forward to meet him.
“I am so sorry,” she said. “The Fearings are here
and you will have to sit next to the younger one. You
see we have only just heard—I am so sorry.”
George Wood inclined his head a little. He was very
quiet and grave.
“I may as well tell you at once,” he said, “that there
is not a word of truth in the story they are telling. I
shall be very much obliged if you will deny it when you
hear it mentioned. There never was any engagement
between Miss Fearing and me.”
“Well, I am very glad to hear it. Pray, forgive me,”
said the lady of the house.
George met Constance with his most impenetrably civil
manner and they exchanged a few words which neither
of them understood while they were speaking them, nor
remembered afterwards. They both spoke in a low
voice and the impression produced upon the many curious
eyes that watched them was that they were on very
good terms, though slightly embarrassed by the consciousness
that they were being so much talked of.
At the dinner-table George found himself next to
Grace. For some time he talked with his neighbour on
209his other side, then turned and inquired when Grace and
her sister were going out of town, and what they intended
to do during the summer. She, on her part, while
answering his questions, looked at him with an air of
cold and scornful surprise. Presently there was a brief
burst of general conversation. Under cover of the
numerous voices Grace asked a direct question.
“What do you mean by telling such a story as every
one is repeating about my sister?” she asked.
George’s eyes gleamed angrily for a moment and his
answer came sharply and quickly.
“You would do better to ask that of yourself—or of
Miss Fearing. I have said nothing.”
“I do not intend to discuss the matter,” Grace answered
icily. “If the story were true it would hurt us and we
should not tell it. But it is a lie, and a malicious lie.”
She turned her head away.
“Miss Fearing,” George said, bending towards her a little,
“I do not intend to be accused of such doings by any
one. Do you understand? If you will take the trouble
to ask the man on your left, he will tell you that I have
denied the story everywhere during the last four days.”
Grace looked at him again, and there was a change in
her face. She was about to say something in reply,
when the general talk, which had allowed them to speak
together unheard, was interrupted by an unexpected
pause.
“Do you prefer Bar Harbour to Newport, Miss Fearing?”
George inquired in a tone which led every one to
suppose that they had been discussing the comparative
merits of watering-places.
The young girl smiled as she made an indifferent
answer. She liked the man’s coolness and tact in such
small things. He was ready, imperturbable and determined,
possessing three of the qualities which women
like best in man. A little later another chance of
exchanging a few words presented itself. This time
Grace spoke less abruptly and coldly.
210“If you have said nothing, who has told the tale?”
she asked.
“I do not know,” George answered, keeping his clear
eyes fixed on hers. “If I knew, I would tell you. It
is a malicious lie, as you say, and it must have been set
afloat by a malicious person—by some one who hates
us all.”
“Some one who hates my sister and me. It cannot
injure you in any way.”
“That is true,” said George. “It had not struck me
at first, because I was so angry at hearing the story.
Does your sister imagine that I have had anything to do
with it?”
“Yes,” Grace answered, and her lip curled a little.
George misunderstood her expression and drew back
rather proudly. The fact was that Grace was thinking
how Constance accused herself every day of having been
heartless and cruel, declaring in her self-abasement that
even if George had chosen to tell the story he would have
had something very like a right to do so. Grace had no
patience with what she regarded as her sister’s weakness.
To the delight of the young couple who gave the dinner
it passed off very pleasantly. There had been no
apparent coldness anywhere, and they were persuaded
that none existed.
“Will you be kind enough to tell your sister what I
have told you?” said George to his neighbour as they
rose from the table.
“If you like,” she answered indifferently. “Unless
you prefer to tell her yourself.” The emphasis she put
on the last part of the sentence showed plainly enough
what her opinion was.
“I will,” he said.
A little later in the evening he sat down by Constance
in a comparatively quiet corner of the small drawing-room.
“Will you allow me to say a few words to you?” he
asked.
211She looked at him in pathetic surprise, and if he had
been a little more vain than he was, he would have seen
that she was grateful to him for coming to her.
“I am always glad when you talk to me,” she said,
and her voice trembled perceptibly.
“You are very good,” he answered in a tone that meant
nothing. “I would not trouble you if it did not seem
necessary. I have been talking about the matter to your
sister at dinner. I wish you to know that I have had
nothing to do with the invention of the story that is
going the rounds of the town. I have denied it to every
one, and I shall continue to deny it.”
Constance glanced timidly at him, and then sighed as
though she were relieved of a burden.
“I am very glad you have told me,” she said.
“Do you believe me?” he asked.
“I have always believed everything you have told me,
and I always shall. But if you had told some one what
everybody is repeating, I should not have blamed you.
It would have been almost true.”
“I do not say things which are only almost true,”
said George very coldly.
Constance’s face, which had regained some of its natural
colour while she had been speaking with him, grew
very white again, her lip trembled and there were tears
in her eyes.
“Are you always going to treat me like this?” she
asked, pronouncing the words with difficulty, as though
a sob were very near.
If George had said one kind word at that moment, his
history and hers might have been very different from
that day onwards. But the wound he had received was
yet too fresh, and moreover he was angry with her for
showing a tendency to cry, and he hardened his heart.
“I trust,” he answered in a chilly tone, “that we shall
always meet on the best of terms.”
A long silence followed, during which it was evident
that Constance was struggling to maintain some appearance
212of outward calm. When she felt that she could
command her strength, she rose and left him without
another word. It was the only thing left for her to do.
She could not allow herself to break down in a room full
of people, before every one, and she could not stay where
she was without bursting into tears. She had humbled
herself to the utmost, she had been ready to offer every
atonement in her power, and he had met her with a
face of stone and a voice that cut her like steel.
That was the last time he saw her before the summer
season. She and her sister left town suddenly the next
day and George was left to his own devices and to the
tender consolation that was showered upon him by Totty
Trimm. But he was not easily consoled. As the days
followed each other his face grew darker and his humour
more gloomy. He could neither work nor read with any
satisfaction and he found even less pleasure in the society
of men and women than in his own. He would not have
married Constance now, if she had offered herself to him,
and implored him to take her. If it had been possible,
he would gladly have gone abroad for a few months, in
the hope of forgetting what had happened to him amidst
the varied discomforts, amusements and interests of
travelling. But he could not throw up certain engagements
he had contracted, though at first it seemed impossible
to fulfil them. He promised himself that as soon
as he had accomplished his task he would start upon a
journey without giving himself the trouble of defining
its ultimate direction. For the present he remained
sullenly in New York, sitting for hours at his table, a
pen held idly between his fingers, his uneasy glance
wandering from the paper before him to the wall opposite,
from the wall to the window, from the window to
his paper again. He was neither despondent nor hopeless.
The more impossible he found it to begin his work,
the more unyieldingly he forced himself to sit in his
chair, the more doggedly he stuck to his determination.
Writing had always seemed easy to him before, and he
213admitted no reason for its being hard now. With iron
resolution he kept his place, revolving in his mind every
situation and story of which he had ever heard and of
which he believed he could make use. But though he
turned, and twisted, and tormented every idea that presented
itself, he could find neither plot nor scene nor
characters in the aching void of his brain. Hour after
hour, day after day, he did his best, growing thinner
and more tired every day, feeling each afternoon more
exhausted by the fruitless contest he was sustaining
against the apathy of his intelligence. But when the
stated time for work was past, and he pushed back the
sheet of paper, sometimes as white as when he had taken
it in the morning, sometimes covered with incoherent
notes that were utterly worthless, when he felt that he
had done his duty and could not be held responsible for
the miserable result, when his head ached, his brow was
furrowed, and his sight had become uncertain, then at
last he gave himself up to the contemplation of his own
wretchedness and to the pain of his utter desolation.
Totty did her best to attract him to her house as often
as possible. He was vaguely surprised that she should
stay so long in town, but he troubled himself very little
about her motives, and as he never made any remark to
her on the subject, she volunteered no explanation. She
would have found it hard to invent one if she had been
pressed to do so. It was hotter than usual at that season,
and Mamie was greatly in need of a change. Totty
could not plead a desire to make economies as a plausible
excuse with any chance of being believed, and even
Tom Craik, whose health usually supplied her with
reasons for doing anything she wanted to do, had betaken
himself to Newport. She seemed to have lost her interest
in his movements and doings of late and had begun
to express a pious belief that only heaven itself could
interfere successfully when a man took such rash liberties
with his health. Mr. Craik, indeed, lived by the
book of arithmetic as Tybalt fought, his food was
214weighed, his hours of sleep and half-hours of repose
were counted and regulated by untiring attendants, the
thickness of his clothing at each season was prescribed
by a great authority and his goings out and comings in
were registered for the latter’s inspection, carriage-makers
invented vehicles for his use, upholsterers devised
systems of springs and cushions for his rest and when he
travelled he performed his journeys in his own car. It
was hard to see where Totty could have been of use to
him, since he did not care for her conversation and
could buy better advice than she could give.
If George had even suspected that Totty was responsible
for the report spread concerning him and Constance,
he would have renounced his cousin’s acquaintance and
would never have entered her house again, not even for
the sake of his old friendship with Sherry Trimm. But
Totty’s skill and tact had not been at fault. In her own
opinion she had made one failure in her life and one
mistake. She had failed to induce her brother to change
his will a second time, and she had committed a very
grave error in opening the will itself in the strong room
instead of bringing it home with her and lifting the seal
with a hot knife, so as to be able to restore it with all
its original appearance of security. The question of the
will still disturbed her, but she was not a cowardly
woman, and, in particular, she was not afraid of her
husband. If worst came to worst, she would throw herself
upon his mercy, confess her curiosity, give him back
the document, clear her conscience and let him scold as
he pleased. He would never tell any one, and Totty
was not afraid of making great personal sacrifices when
she could escape from a situation in no other way. At
the present time the main thing of importance was to
please George, and to induce him to make her house his
own as much as possible. If Sherrington, knowing
George’s financial situation, came back and found him
engaged to marry Mamie, it would not be human in him
to bear malice against his wife for the part she had
215played. Remorse she had none. She only regretted
that she should have so far forgotten her caution as to
do clumsily what she had done. She would neither fail
nor make mistakes again.
She knew what she meant to do, and she knew how to
do it. A man in George’s situation is not easily affected
by words no matter how skilfully put together nor how
kindly uttered. He either does not hear them at all, or
pays no attention to them, or puts no faith in them. It
is more easy to soothe his humour by giving him agreeable
surroundings than by talking to him. He has no
appetite, but he may be tempted by new and exquisite
dishes. He wants stimulants, and an especial brand of
very dry champagne flatters his palate, exhilarates his
nervous system and produces no evil consequences. He
smokes more than is good for him, and in that case it is
better that he should smoke the most delicate cigars
imported directly from Havana, than that he should
saturate his brain with nicotine from a vulgar pipe—Totty
thought all pipes vulgar. The love-lorn wretch is
uneasy, but he is less restless when he is left to himself
for half an hour after dinner, in an absolutely perfect
easy-chair, with an absolutely perfect light, and with all
the newest and greatest reviews of the world at his
elbow. He loathes the thought of conversational effort,
but he can listen with a lazy satisfaction to the social
chatter of a clever mother and her beautiful daughter,
or his sensitive ears may even bear the reading aloud of
the last really good novel. It is distressing to learn the
next day that he does not remember the name of the
hero nor the colour of the heroine’s hair, and that he
does not care to hear any more of the book. But it is no
matter. Feminine invention is not at an end. It is
late in May and there is a full moon. Would he enjoy
a drive in the Park? He may smoke in the open carriage,
if he pleases, for both the ladies like it. Or it
will be Sunday to-morrow, and he never works on Sunday.
Would it be very wrong to run out for the day on
216board of Mr. Craik’s yacht, instead of going to church?
Totty has the use of the yacht whenever she likes, and
she can take her prayer-book on board and read the service
with Mamie while George lies on deck and meditates.
It is a steam-yacht, and it is no matter whether the
weather is calm or not. If he likes they can go up the
river with her instead. Or would he not care to have a
horse waiting for him at seven in the morning at the corner
of the Park? There are all those horses eating their
heads off. It would be too early for Mamie to ride with
him, unless he positively insists upon it, but it could
not interfere with his day’s work. He has forgotten to
write a letter? Poor fellow, when he has been working
all day long. It is a very important letter, and must be
posted to-night. There is the luxurious writing-table
with its perfect appliances, its shaded candles, the beautiful
“Charta Perfecta,” the smoothly-flowing ink that is
changed every morning, the very pens he always uses,
the spotless blotting-paper, wax and seals, if he needs
them, and postage-stamps ready and separated from each
other in the silver box—there is even a tiny sponge set
in a little stand on which to moisten them, lest the
coarse taste of the Government gum should offend the
flavour of the Turkish coffee he has been drinking. He
has an idea? He would like to make notes? There is
the library beyond that door. It is lighted. He has
only to shut himself in as long as he pleases. There is
a box of those cigars on the table. He has forgotten his
handkerchief? A touch of the bell, an order, and here
are two of dear Sherrington’s, silk or linen, whichever
he prefers. The evening is hot? The windows are open
and there is a mint-julep with a straw in it by his side.
Or is it a little chilly? Everything is closed, the lamps
are all lighted, and the subtle perfume of Imperial tea
floats on the softened air. All is noiseless, perfect,
soothing, beyond description, and yet so natural that he
cannot feel as though it gave the least thought or trouble,
nor as if it were all skilfully prepared for his especial
217benefit. He wonders why Sherry Trimm ever goes to
the club, when he could spend his evenings in such a
home, he closes his eyes, thinks of his unwritten book
and asks himself whether the wheel of fortune will ever
in its revolutions give him a right of his own to such
supreme refinement of comfort.
It would have been strange, indeed, if George’s humour
had not been somewhat softened by so much luxury. He
had liked what he could taste of it in his old days, when
Totty had hardly ever asked him to dinner and had never
expected to see him in the evening, in the days when he
was a poor, unhappy nobody, and only a shabby relation
of Mrs. Sherrington Trimm’s. There had not been much
done for his comfort then, when he came to the house,
but the softness of the carpets, the elasticity of the easy-chairs
and the harmony of all details had seemed delightful
to him, and Totty had always been kind and
good-natured. But he had seen many things in the last
two years, and was by no means so ready to be pleased
as he had been when his only evening coat had been in
a chronic state of repair. He had eaten terrapin and
canvas-back off old Saxon china, and he had looked upon
the champagne when it was of the most expensive
quality. He had dined in grandeur with men whose
millions were legion, and he had supped with epicures
who knew what they got for their money. He had seen
all sorts of society in his native city, all sorts of vulgar
display, all sorts of unostentatious but enormously expensive
luxury, all sorts of gilded splendour, and all
sorts of faultless refinements in taste. But now, after
he had dined and spent the evening with Totty half a
dozen times in the course of a fortnight, he was ready to
admit that he had never been in an establishment so perfect
at all points, so quietly managed, so absolutely
comfortable and so unpretentiously sybaritic in all its
details. Totty and her husband were undoubtedly rich,
but they were no richer than hundreds of people he
knew. It was not money alone that produced the results
218he saw, and the certainty that the household was managed
upon a sort of artistic principle of enjoyment gave
him intense satisfaction. There was the same difference
between Totty’s way of living and that of most of her
friends, that there is between a piece of work done by
hand and the stereotyped copy of it made by machinery,
the same difference there is between an illuminated
manuscript and its lithographed fac-simile. The one is
full of the individuality of the great artist, the other
presents the perfection of execution without inspiration.
The one charms, the other only pleases.
George appreciated most thoroughly at the end of the
first week everything he ate, drank, felt and saw at his
cousin’s house, and what he heard was by no means as
wearisome to his intelligence as he had supposed that it
must be. Totty was far too clever a woman to flatter
him openly, for she was keen enough to perceive that he
was one of those men who feel a sort of repulsion for the
work they have done and who put little faith in the judgment
of others concerning it. She soon found out that
he did not care to see his books lying upon the drawing-room
table and that he suspected her of leaving them
there with the deliberate intention of flattering him.
They disappeared into the shelves of the library and were
seen no more. But when George was reading the papers
or a review—a form of rudeness in which she constantly
encouraged him, she occasionally took the opportunity of
introducing into her quiet conversation with Mamie some
expression or some thought which he had used or developed
in his writings. She avoided quotation, which she
had always considered vulgar, and exercised her ingenuity
in letting his favourite ideas fall from her lips in a perfectly
natural manner. Though he was not supposed to
be listening, he often heard her remarks, and was unconsciously
pleased. The subtlety of the flatterer could go
no further. Nor was that part of the talk which concerned
himself neither directly nor indirectly by any
means tiresome. Totty possessed very good powers of
219conversation, and could talk very much better than most
women when she pleased. If she pretended to abhor the
name of culture and generally affected an air of indifference
to everything that did not affect her neighbours or
herself, she did so with a wise premeditation and an
excellent judgment of her hearers’ capacities. But her
own husband was fond of more intelligent subjects, and
was a man of varied experience and wide reading, who
liked to talk of what he read and saw. Totty’s memory
was excellent, and as she gave herself almost as much
trouble to please Sherrington as she was now taking to
please George, she had acquired the art of amusing her
husband without any apparent exertion. What she said
was never very profound, unless she had got it by heart,
but the matter of it was generally clear and very fairly
well expressed.
As for Mamie, she was perfectly happy, for she was
unconsciously very much in love with George, and to see
him so often and in such intimacy was inexpressibly delightful.
It was a pleasure even to see him sitting silent
in his chair, it was happiness to hear him speak and it
was positive joy to wait upon him. She had been more
disturbed than she had been aware by his evident devotion
to Constance Fearing during the winter. The
gossip about the broken engagement had given her the
keenest pain, due to the fact, as she supposed, that Constance
was totally unworthy of the man she had jilted.
But George’s own assurance that no engagement had ever
existed had driven the clouds from her sky, although his
own subsequent conduct might well have aroused her
suspicions. Totty, however, took good care to explain
to her that the talk had been entirely without foundation
and that George’s silence and gloomy ways were the result
of overwork. She hoped, she said, to induce him to
spend the summer with them and to give himself a long
rest.
CHAPTER XVI.
220
“Dear George,” said Totty, one evening near the end
of May, “I hate the idea of going away and leaving you
here in the heat!”
“So do I,” answered George, thoughtfully, as he
turned in his chair and looked at his cousin’s face.
“I am sure you will fall ill. There will be nobody to
take care of you, no place where you can drop in to dinner
when you feel inclined, and where you can do just
as you like. And yet—you see how Mamie is looking!
I cannot conscientiously keep her here any longer.”
“Good heavens, Totty, you must not think of it! You
do not mean to say you have been waiting here only on
my account?”
Totty Trimm hesitated, withdrew one tiny foot, of
which the point had projected beyond the skirt of her
tea-gown, and then put out the other and looked at it
curiously. They were both so small and pointed that
George could not have told which was the right and
which the left. She hesitated because she had not anticipated
the question. George was not like other men.
He would not be flattered by merely being informed
that the whole Sherrington Trimm establishment had
been kept up a month beyond the usual time, on a war
footing, as it were, for his sole and express benefit. Most
men would be pleased at being considered of enough importance
to be told such a thing, though they might not
believe the statement altogether. It was necessary that
George should know that Totty was speaking the truth,
if she answered his question directly. She hesitated and
looked at the point of her little slipper.
“What does it matter?” she asked, suddenly, looking
up and smiling at him affectionately.
It was very well done. The strongest asseverations
could not have expressed more clearly her readiness to
221sacrifice everything she could to his comfort. George
was touched.
“You have been very good to me, Totty. I cannot
thank you enough.” He took her hand and pressed it
warmly.
“What is the use of having friends unless they will
stand by you?” she asked, returning the pressure, while
her face grew grave and sad.
Since she had written her first note after his disappointment,
she had never referred to his troubles. He
had answered her on that occasion as he answered every
one, by saying that there had never been any engagement,
and he had marvelled at her exceeding tact in avoiding
the subject ever since. Her reference to it now, however,
seemed natural, and did not hurt him.
“You have been more than a friend to me,” he answered.
“I feel as though you were my sister—only, if
you were, I suppose I should be less grateful.”
“No, you would not,” said Totty with a smile of genuine
pleasure produced of course by the success of her
operations. “Do you want to do something to please
me? Something to show your gratitude?”
“Whatever I can——”
“Come and spend the summer with us—no, I do not
mean you to make a visit of a month or six weeks. Pack
up all your belongings, come down with us and be one of
the family, till we are ready to come back to town. Make
your headquarters with us, write your book, go away and
make visits for a week when you like, but consider that
our house is your home. Will you?”
“But, Totty, you would be sick of the sight of me——”
Visions of an enchanted existence by the river rose before
George’s eyes. He was to some extent intellectually
demoralised, and every agreeable prospect in the future
resolved itself into the thought of mental rest superinduced
by boundless luxury and material comfort.
“What an idea!” exclaimed Totty indignantly. “Besides,
if you knew how interested I am in making the
222proposal, you would see that you would be conferring a
favour instead of accepting one.”
She laughed softly when she had finished the sentence,
thinking how very true her words were.
“I cannot understand how,” George answered. “Please
explain. I really cannot see how I shall be conferring
a favour by eating your wonderful dinners and drinking
that champagne of Sherry’s.”
Totty laughed again.
“I wish you would finish it! It would be ever so much
better for his liver, if you would.”
She wondered what George would think if he knew
that a fresh supply of that particular brand of brut was
already on its way from France, ordered in the hope that
he might accept the invitation she was now pressing
upon him.
“And as for the cook,” she continued, “he will do
nothing unless there is a man in the party. That is it,
George. I have told you now. Dear Sherry is not coming
back until the autumn, and Mamie and I feel dreadfully
unprotected down there all by ourselves. Please,
please come and take care of us. I knew you would
come—oh, I am so glad! It is such a relief to feel
that you will be with us!”
As indeed it was, since if George was under Totty’s
personal supervision there would be no chance of his returning
to his former allegiance to Constance. George
himself saw that her reasons were not serious, and considering
the previous conversation and its earnest tone,
he thought that he saw through Totty’s playfulness and
kindly wish to do a very friendly action.
“I will tell you what I will do,” he said. “I will
come for a month——”
“No—I will not have you for a month, nor for two
months—the whole summer or nothing.”
So George at last consented, and left town two or three
days later with Mrs. Sherrington Trimm and her daughter.
He had felt that in some way he was acting weakly,
223and that he had yielded too easily to his cousin’s invitation,
but if he had been in any doubt about her sincere
desire to keep him during the whole season, his anxiety
was removed when as soon as he was established in his
new quarters Totty immediately began to talk of plans
for the months before them, in all of which George
played a principal part, and Mamie took it for granted
that there was to be no separation until they should all
go back to New York together. During the first few
days George allowed himself to be utterly idle and let
the hours pass with an indifference to all thought which
he had never known before.
He had been transported into a sort of fairyland, of
which he had enjoyed occasional glimpses at other times,
but which he had never had an opportunity of knowing
intimately. It was unlike anything in his experience.
Even the journey had not reminded him of other journeys,
for it had been performed in that luxurious privacy
which is dear to the refined American. Mr. Craik’s yacht
was permanently at his sister’s disposal, and on the morning
appointed for the departure she and Mamie and
George had driven down to the pier at their leisure and
had gone on board. It had been but a step from the perfectly
appointed house in the city to the equally perfect
dwelling on the water, and only one step more from the
snowy deck of the yacht to the flower garden before the
country mansion on the banks of the great river. Everything
had been ready for them, on board and on shore,
and George could not realise when the journey was over
that he had been carried over a distance which he formerly
only traversed in the heat and dust of a noisy
train, or on the crowded deck of a river steamboat. He
had passed the hot hours sitting under the cool shade of
a double awning, in the most comfortable of chairs
beside Mamie Trimm and opposite to her mother. There
had been no noise, no tramping of sailors, no blowing of
whistles, no shouting of orders. From time to time,
indeed, he caught a glimpse of the captain’s feet as he
224paced the bridge, but that was all. At mid-day a servant
had appeared and Totty had glanced at him, glanced at
the table beside her and nodded. Immediately luncheon
had been served and George had recognised the touch
of the master in the two or three delicacies he had tasted,
and had found in his glass wine of the famous brand
which was said to have caused Sherry Trimm’s sufferings.
He had divided with Mamie a priceless peach,
which had no natural right to be ripe on the last day of
May, and Totty had selected for him a little bunch of
muscat grapes such as he might not have eaten in the
south before September. George tasted the ambrosia
and swallowed the nectar, and enjoyed the beautiful
scenery, the two pretty faces and the pleasant voices in
his ear, thinking, perhaps, of the old times when after
a desperate morning’s work at reviewing trash, he had
sat down to a luncheon of cold meat, pickles and tea.
The thought of the contrast made the present more delightful.
The spell was not broken, and Totty’s country-house
prolonged without interruption the series of exquisite
sensations which had been intermittent during the last
month in New York. If Totty had intended to play the
part of the tempter instead of being the chief comforter,
she could not have done it with a more diabolical skill.
She believed that a man could always be more easily
attacked by the senses than by his intelligence, and she
put every principle of her belief into her acts. She
partly knew, and partly guessed, the manner of George’s
former life, the absence of luxury, the monotony of an
existence in which common necessities were always provided
for in the same way, without stint but without
variety. Her art consisted in creating contrasts of unlike
perfections, so that the senses, unable to decide
between the amount of pleasure experienced yesterday,
enjoyed to-day and anticipated to-morrow, should be kept
in a constant state of suspended judgment. She had
practised this system with her husband and it had often
225succeeded in persuading him to let her have her own way,
and she practised it continually for her own personal
satisfaction, as being the only means of extracting all
possible enjoyment from her existence.
George fell under the charm without even making an
effort to resist it. Why, he asked himself dreamily,
should he resist anything that was good in itself and
harmless in its consequences? His life had all at once
fallen in pleasant places. Should he disappoint Totty
and give Mamie pain by a sudden determination to
break up all their plans and return to the heat of the
city? He could work here as well as anywhere else,
better if there was any truth in the theory that the mind
should be more active when the body is subject to no
pain or inconvenience. A deal of asceticism had been
forced upon him since he had been seventeen years old,
and he believed that a surfeit of luxuries would do him
no harm now. He would get tired of it all, no doubt,
and would be very glad to go back to his more simple
existence.
Totty, however, was far too accomplished an Epicurean
to allow her patient a surfeit of anything. She watched
him more narrowly than he supposed and was ready
with a change, not when she saw signs of fatigue in his
manner, his face or his appetite, but before that, as soon
as she had seen that he was pleased. She was playing a
great game and her attention never relaxed. There was
a fortune at stake of which he himself did not dream,
and of which even she did not know the extent. She
had everything in her favour. The coast was clear, for
Sherrington was in Europe. The final scene was prepared,
since Mamie was already in love with George.
She herself was a past master of scene-shifting and her
theatre was well provided with properties of every
description. All that was necessary was that the hero
should take a fancy to the heroine. But the very fact
that it all looked so easy aroused Totty’s anxiety. She
said to herself that what appeared to be most simple was
226often, in reality, most difficult, and she warned herself
to be careful and diffident of success.
Fortunately Mamie was all she could desire her to be.
She did not believe in beauty as a means of attracting a
disappointed man. Beauty could only draw his mind
into making comparisons, and comparisons must revive
recollection and reawaken regret. She had more faith
in Mamie’s subtle charm of manner, voice and motion
than she would have had in all the faultless perfections
of classic features, queenly stature and royal carriage.
That charm of hers, gave her an individuality of her
own, such as Constance Fearing had never possessed, unlike
anything that George had ever noticed in other girls
or women. Doubtless he might have too much of that,
too, as well as of other things, but Totty was even more
cautious of the effects she produced with Mamie than of
those she brought about by her minute attention to the
management of her house. And here her greatest skill
appeared, for she had to play a game of three-sided
duplicity. She had to please George, without wearying
him, to regulate the intercourse between the two so as to
suit her own ends, and to invent reasons for making
Mamie behave as she desired that she should without
communicating to the girl a word of her intentions. If
George appeared to have been enjoying especially a quiet
conversation with Mamie, he must be prevented from
talking to her again alone for at least twenty-four hours,
and even then he must be allowed to please himself in
the matter. This was not easy, for Mamie was by this
time blindly in love with him, and if she were not
watched would be foolish enough to bore him by her
frequent presence at his side. To keep her away from
him long enough to make him want her company needed
much diplomacy. If George went out for a turn in the
garden, and if Mamie joined him without an invitation,
Totty could not pursue the pair in order to protect George
from being bored. Hitherto also, Mamie had made no
confidences to her mother and did not seem inclined to
227make any. Manifestly, if an accident could happen by
which Mamie could be brought to betray herself to her
careful parent, great advantages would ensue. The
careful parent would then appear as the firm and skilful
ally of the love-lorn daughter, the two would act in concert
and great results might be effected. Totty was not
only really fond of George, in her own way, but it would
not have suited her that a hair of his head should be
injured. Nevertheless, she nourished all sorts of malicious
hopes against him at this stage. She wished that
he might be thrown from his horse and brought home
unhurt but insensible, or that he might upset his boat
on the river under Mamie’s eyes—in short that something
might happen to him which should give Mamie a
shock and throw her into her mother’s arms.
Providence, however, did not come to Totty’s assistance
and she was thrown upon her own resources, aided
in some small degree by an extraneous circumstance.
The marriage of John Bond and Grace Fearing had been
talked of for a long time, and Totty one morning learned
that it was to take place immediately. She could not
guess why they had chosen to be married in the very
middle of the summer, when all their friends were out
of town, and she had no inclination to go to the wedding,
which was to be conducted without any great gathering
or display of festivity. John Bond, as being Sherrington
Trimm’s partner and an old friend of Totty’s, urged
her of course to come down to town for the occasion and
to bring Mamie, but the heat was intense, and as there
would be nothing to see and no one present with whom
she would care to talk, and nothing good to eat, and, on
the whole, nothing whatever to do except to grin and
look pleased, Totty made up her mind that she would
have nothing to do with the affair, beyond sending Grace
an expensive present. There were no regular invitations
sent out, and George received no notice of what was
happening. Totty, however, did not lose the opportunity
of talking to Mamie about it all, with a view to
228sounding her views upon matrimony in general and
upon her own future in particular.
“Johnnie Bond is such a fine fellow!” said Totty to
her daughter, when they had been talking for some time.
Mamie admitted that he was a very fine fellow, indeed.
“Tell me, Mamie,” said her mother, assuming a tone
at once cheerful and confidential, “is not Johnnie Bond
very nearly your ideal of what a husband ought to be?”
“Not in the least!” answered the young girl promptly.
Totty looked very much surprised.
“No? Why, Mamie, I thought you always liked him
so much!”
“So I do, in a way. But he is not at all in my style,
mamma.”
“What is your style, as you call it?” Totty seemed
intensely interested as she paused for an answer. Mamie
blushed, and looked down at a piece of work she was
holding.
“Well—to begin with,” she said, speaking quickly,
“Mr. Bond is three-quarters lawyer and one-quarter
idiot. At least I believe so. And all the rest of him
is boating and tennis and—everything one does, you
know—sport and all that. I never heard him make an
intelligent remark in his life, though papa says he is as
clever as they make them, for a lawyer of course. You
know what I mean, mamma. He is one of those dreadfully
earnest young men, who do everything with a purpose,
as if it meant money, and they meant to get it.
Oh, I could not bear to marry one of them! They are
all exactly alike—so many steam engines turned out by
the same maker!”
“Dear me, Mamie!” laughed Mrs. Trimm. “What
very decided opinions you have!”
“I suppose Grace Fearing has decided opinions, too,
in the opposite direction, or she would not have married
him. I never can understand her, either, with those
great dark eyes and that determined expression—she
looks like a girl out of a novel, and I believe there is no
229more romance about her than there is in a hat-stand!
There cannot be, if she likes Master Johnnie Bond—and
there is no reason why she should marry him unless she
does like him, is there?”
“None that I can see, but that is a very good one—good
enough for any one, I should think. You would
not care for Johnnie Bond, but you may care for some
one else. You have not told me what your ideal would
be like.”
“Where is the use? You ought to know, mamma,
without being told.”
“Of course I ought, child—only I am so stupid.
Would he be dark or fair?”
“Dark,” answered the young girl, bending over her
work.
“And clever, I suppose? Of course. And slender,
and romantic to look at?”
“Oh, don’t, mamma! Talk about something else.”
“Why? I am not sure that we might not agree about
the ideal.”
“No!” exclaimed Mamie with a little half scornful
laugh. “We should never agree about him, because I
would like him poor.”
“You can afford to marry a poor man, if you please,”
said Totty, thoughtfully. “But would you not be afraid
that he loved your money better than yourself?”
“No indeed! I should love him, and then—I should
believe in him, of course.”
“Then I do not see why you should not marry your
ideal after all, my dear. Come, darling—we both know
whom we are talking about. Why not say it to each
other? I would help you then. I am almost as fond of
him as you are.”
Mamie blushed quickly and then turned pale. She
looked suspiciously at her mother.
“You are not in earnest, mamma,” she said, after a
short pause.
“Indeed I am, child,” answered Mrs. Trimm, meeting
230her gaze fearlessly. “Do you think that I have not
known it for a long time? And do you think I would
have brought him here if I had not been perfectly willing
that you should marry him?”
The young girl suddenly sprang up and threw her
arms round her mother’s neck.
“Oh mamma, mamma! This is too good! Too good!
Too good!”
“Dear child!” exclaimed Totty, kissing her affectionately.
“Is not your happiness always the first thing in
my mind? Would I not sacrifice everything for that?”
“Yes—you are so sweet and dear. I know you
would,” said Mamie, sitting down beside her and resting
her head upon her mother’s plump little shoulder. “But
you see—I thought that nobody knew, because we have
always been together so much. And then I thought you
would think what you just said, about the money, you
know. But it is not true—I mean it would not be true.
He would never care for that.”
“No,” answered Totty, almost forgetting herself. “I
should think not! I mean—with his character—he is
so honourable and fair—like your papa in that. But
Mamie, darling, do you think he——?”
Totty stopped, conveying the rest of her question by
means of an inquiringly sympathetic smile. Mamie
shook her head a little sadly, and looked down.
“I am afraid he never will,” she said, in a low voice.
“And yet he should, for I—oh mother! I love him so—you
will never know!”
She buried her face and her blushes in her hands upon
her mother’s shoulder. Totty patted her head affectionately
and kissed her curls several times in a very
motherly way. Her own face was suffused with smiles
for she felt that she had done a very good day’s work,
and was surprised to think that it had been accomplished
so easily. The fact was that Mamie was only too ready
to speak of what filled her whole life, and had more
than once been on the point of telling her mother all she
231felt. She had supposed, however, that she knew the
ways of her mother’s wisdom, and that George’s poverty
would always be an insuperable obstacle. She did not
now in the least understand why Totty made so light of
the question of money, and even in her great happiness
at finding such ready sympathy she thought it very
strange that she should have so completely mistaken her
mother’s character.
From that day, however, there was a tacit understanding
between the two. Mamie was in that singular and
not altogether dignified position in which a woman finds
herself when she loves a man and has determined to win
him, though she is not loved in return. There are
doubtless many young women in the world who, whether
for love or for interest, have wooed and won their present
husbands, though the latter have never found it out,
and would not believe it if it were told to them. Mamie
differed from most of these, however, in that she was as
modest as she was loving, and in her real distrust of her
own advantages, which defect, or quality, was perhaps
at the root of her peculiar charm. She knew that she
was not beautiful, and she believed that beauty was a
woman’s strongest weapon. She had yet to learn that
the way to men’s hearts is not always through their
eyes.
After her confession to her mother she began to discover
the value of that ingenious lady’s experience and
tact. At first, indeed, she felt a modest hesitation in
coolly doing what she was told, as a means of winning
George’s heart, but she soon found out that her mother
was always right and that she herself was generally
wrong.
“There is only one way of doing things,” said Totty,
one day, “and that is the right way. There is only one
thing that a man really hates, and that is, being bored.
And men are very easily bored, my dear. A man likes
to have everything done for him in the most perfect way,
but it spoils his enjoyment to feel that it is done especially
232for him and for nobody else. If you are afraid he
will catch cold, do not run after him with his hat, as
though he were an invalid. That is only an example,
Mamie. Men have an immense body of tradition to
sustain, and they do it by keeping up appearances as
well as they can. All men are supposed to be brave,
strong, honourable, enduring and generous. They are
supposed never to feel hot when we do, nor to catch
cold when we should. It is a part of their stage character
never to be afraid of anything, and many of them
are far more timid than we are. I do not mean to say
that dear George has not all the qualities a man ought
to have. Certainly not. He is quite the finest fellow I
ever knew. But he does not want you to notice the fact.
He wants you to take it for granted, just as much as
little Tippy Skiffington does, who is afraid of a mouse
and would not touch a dog that had no muzzle on for all
he is worth, which is saying a great deal. Dear George
would not like it to be supposed that he cares for terrapin
and dry champagne any more than for pork and beans—and
yet the dear fellow is keenly alive to the difference.
He does not want it to be thought he could ever
be bored by you or me, but he knows that we know that
he might be, and he expects us to use tact and to leave
him alone sometimes, even for a whole day. He will be
much more glad to see us the next time we meet him
and will show it by giving himself much more trouble
to be agreeable. It is not true that if you run away
men will follow you. They are far too lazy for that.
You must come to them, but not too often. What they
most want is amusement, and between their amusements,
to be allowed to do exactly what their high and mighty
intellects suggest to them, without comment. Never ask
a man where he has been, what he has seen, nor what he
has heard. If he has anything to tell, he will tell you,
and if he has not you only humiliate him by discovering
the emptiness of his thoughts. Always ask his opinion.
If he has none himself, he knows somebody who has, no
233matter what the subject may be. The difference between
men and women is very simple, my dear. Women look
greater fools than they are, and men are greater fools
than they look—except in the things they know how to
do and do well.”
“George is not a fool about anything!” said Mamie
indignantly. She had been listening with considerable
interest to her mother’s homily.
“George, my dear,” answered Totty, “is very foolish
not to be in love with you at the present moment. Or,
if he is, he is very foolish to hide it.”
“I wish you would not talk like that, mamma! I am
not half good enough for him.”
Nevertheless Mamie consulted her mother and was
guided by her. George would ride—should she accept
his proposal and go with him or not? A word, a glance
decided the matter for her, and George was none the
wiser. He could not help thinking, however, that Mamie
was becoming an extremely tactful young person, as well
as a most agreeable companion. One day he could not
resist his inclination to tell her so.
“How clever you are, Mamie!” he exclaimed after a
pause in the conversation.
“I? Clever?” The girl’s face expressed her innocent
astonishment at the compliment.
“Yes. You are a most charming person to live with.
How in the world did you know that I wanted to be
alone yesterday, and that I wanted you to come with me
to-day?” George laughed. “Do I not always ask you
to come with me in precisely the same tone? Do I not
always look as though I wanted you to come? How do
you always know?”
Mamie was conscious that she blushed even more than
she usually did when she was momentarily embarrassed.
Indeed, the blush had two distinct causes on the present
occasion. She had at first been delighted by the compliment
he had paid her, and then, immediately afterwards,
when he explained what he meant, she had felt her
234shame burning in her face. On the previous day, as
on the present afternoon, she had blindly followed her
mother’s advice, given by an almost imperceptible motion
of the head and eyes that had indicated a negation
on the first occasion and assent on the second. She
was silent now, and could find no words with which to
answer his question.
“How do you do it?” he asked again, wondering at
her embarrassment, and slackening the pace at which he
rowed, for they were in a boat together towards sunset.
Mamie’s eyes suddenly filled with hot tears and she
hid her face with her small hands.
“Why, Mamie dear, what is it?” George asked, resting
on his oars and leaning forward.
“O George,” she sobbed, “if you only knew!”
CHAPTER XVII.
George did not forget Mamie’s strange behaviour in
the boat, and he devoted much time to the study of the
problem it presented. To judge from the girl’s conduct
alone, she must be in love with him, and yet he did not
like the idea and took the greatest pains to keep it out of
his mind. He was not in the humour in which it is a
pleasant surprise to a man to discover unexpected affection
for himself in a quarter where he has not expected
to find it. Moreover, if he had once made sure that
Mamie loved him, he would probably have thought it
his duty to go away as quickly as possible. Such a
decision would have deprived him of much that he
enjoyed and it was desirable in the interests of his selfishness
that it should be put off as long as possible.
At that time George began to feel the desire for work
creeping upon him once more. During a few weeks only
had it been in his power to put away the habit of writing,
235and to close his eyes to all responsibility. Those
had been days when the whole world had seemed to be
upside down, as in a dream, while he himself moved in
the midst of a disordered creation, uncertainty, like a
soulless creature, without the capacity for independent
action nor the intelligence to form any distinct intention
from one moment to another. He took what he found
in his way without understanding, though not without
an odd appreciation of what was good, very much as
Eastern princes receive European hospitality. He was
grateful at least that his life should be made so smooth
for the time, for he was dimly conscious that anything
outwardly rough or coarse would have exasperated him to
madness. He believed that he thought a great deal about
the past, but when he attempted to give his meditations
a shape, they would accept none. In reality he was not
thinking, though the mirror of his memory was filled
with fleeting reflections of his former life, some clear
and startlingly vivid, others distorted and broken, but
all more or less beautified by the shadowy presence of a
being he had loved better than himself, and from whom
he was separated for ever.
With such a man, however, idleness was as impossible
as the desire for expression was irresistible. Since he
had written his first book, and had discovered what it was
that he was born to do, he had taken up a burden which
he could not lay down and had sworn allegiance to a
master from whom he could not escape. Not even the
bitter and overwhelming disappointment that had come
upon him could kill the desire to write. He was almost
ashamed of it at first, for he felt that though everything
he loved best in the world were dead before him, he
should be driven within a few weeks to take up his pen
again and open his inner eyes and ears to the play of his
mind’s stage.
The power to do certain things is rarely separated
from the necessity for doing them, and the fact that they
are well done by no means proves that the doer has forgotten
236the blow that recently overwhelmed his heart in
darkness and his daily life in an almost uncontrollable
grief. There are two lives for most men, whatever their
careers may be, and the absence of either of these lives
makes a man produce an impression of incompleteness
upon those who know him. When any one lives only
by the existence of the heart, without active occupation,
without manifesting inclination, taste or talent for outward
things, we say that he has no interest in life, and
is much to be pitied. But we say that a man is heartless
and selfish who appears to devote every thought to
his occupation and every moment to increasing the
chances of his success. In the lives of great men we
search with an especial pleasure for all that can show us
the working of their hearts, and we remember with
delight whatever we find that indicates a separate and
inner chain of events, of which the links have been loves
and friendships kept secret from the world. The more
nearly the two lives have coincided, the more happy we
judge the man to have been, the more out of tune and
discordant with each other, the more we feel that his
existence must have seemed a failure in his own eyes;
and when we are told only of his doings before the world,
without one touch of softer feeling, we lay aside the
book of his biography and say that it is badly written
and that we are surprised to find that a man so uninteresting
in himself should have exercised so much influence
over his times.
George Wood had neither forgotten Constance, nor
had he recovered from the wound he had received, and
yet within a day or two of his resuming his work, he
found that his love of it was not diminished nor his
strength to do it abated. It was not happiness to write,
but it was satisfaction. His hesitation was gone now,
and his hand had recovered its cunning. He no longer
sat for hours before a blank sheet of paper, staring at
the wall and racking his brain in the hope that a character
of some sort would suddenly start into shape and
237life from the chaotic darkness he was facing. Until the
first difficulties that attend the beginning of a book were
overcome, he had still a lingering and unacknowledged
suspicion that he could do nothing good without the daily
criticism and unfailing applause he had been accustomed
to receive from Constance during his former efforts.
When he was fairly launched, he felt proud of being
able to do without her. For the first time he was depending
solely upon his own judgment, as he had always
relied upon his own ideas, and his judgment decided
that what he did was good.
From that time the arrangement of his day took again
the definite shape in which he had always known it, and
the mere distribution of his hours between work and rest
gave him back confidence in himself. He began to see
his surroundings from a more intelligent point of view,
and to take a keener interest in things and people.
Though he had by no means recovered from the first
great shock of his life, and though in his heart he was
as bitter as ever against her who had inflicted it, yet his
mind was already convalescent and was being rapidly
restored to its former vigour. There was power in his
imagination, strength in his language and harmony in
his style. What he thought took shape, and the shape
found expression.
He soon found that under these circumstances life was
bearable, and often enjoyable. Very gradually, as his
concentrated attention became absorbed in his own creations,
the face of Constance Fearing appeared less often
in his dreams, and the heartbroken tones of her voice
rang less continually in his ears. He was not forgetting,
but the physical impressions of sight and sound
upon his senses were wearing off. Occasionally indeed
they would return with startling force and vividness,
awakening in him for one moment the reality of all he
had suffered. At such times he could see again, as
though face to face, her expression at the instant when
she had seemed to relinquish the attempt to soften him,
238and he could hear again the plaintive accents of her
words and the painful cadence of her sobbing voice.
But such visitations grew daily more rare and at last
almost ceased altogether.
For what he had done himself he felt no remorse.
His mind was not made like hers, and he would never be
able to understand that she had done violence to her own
heart in casting him off. He would learn perhaps some
day to describe what she had done, to analyse her motives
from his own point of view, but he would never be able
to think of her as she thought of herself. In his eyes
she would always be a little contemptible, even when
time’s charitable mists should have descended upon the
past and softened all its outlines. He was cut off from
her by one of the most impassable barriers which can be
raised in the human heart, by his resentment against
himself for having been deceived.
He did not ask himself whether he could ever love
again. There was a strength in his present position,
which almost pleased him. He had done with love and
was free to speak of it as he chose, without regard for
any one’s feelings, without respect for the passion itself,
if it suited his humour. There had been nothing boyish
in the pure and passionate affection under which he had
lived during two of the most important years in his
life. He had felt all that a man can feel in the deep
devotion to one spotless object. There would never
again be anything so high and noble and untainted in
all the years that were to come for him, and he knew it.
The determination he had felt to be necessary in the first
moment of his anger had carried itself out almost without
any direction from his will. The Constance he had
loved so dearly, was not the Constance who had refused
to marry him, and who had dealt him such a cruel blow.
The two were separated and he could still love the one,
while hating and despising the other. But although he
might meet the girl whose face and form and look and
voice were those of her he had lost, this second Constance
239could never take the other’s place. A word from
her could not put fire into his heart, nor raise in his
brain the vision of a magnificent inspiration. A touch
from her hand could send no thrill of pleasure through
his frame, there would be no joy in looking upon her
fair face when next he saw it. She might say to him all
that he had once said to her, she might appeal passionately
to the love that was now dead, she might offer him
her heart, her body and her soul. He wanted none of
the three now. The break had been final and definite,
love’s path had broken off upon the edge of the precipice,
and though she might stand on the old familiar way
and beckon to him to come over and meet her, there was
that between them which no man could cross.
Like all great passions the one through which George
Wood had passed had produced upon him a definite effect,
which could be appreciated, if not accurately measured.
He was older in every way now than he had been two
years and a half earlier, but older chiefly in his understanding
of human nature. He knew, now, what men
and women felt in certain circumstances, his instinct told
him truly what it had formerly only vaguely suggested.
The inevitable logic of life had taken him up as a problem,
had dealt with him as with a subject fitted to its
hand, and had forced upon him a solution of himself.
Where he had entertained doubts, he now felt certainty,
where he had hesitated in expressing the judgment of
his tastes he now found his verdicts already considered
and only awaiting delivery. Many months later, when
the book he was now writing was published it was a new
surprise to his readers. His first attempts had been
noticeable for their beauty, his last book was remarkable
for its truth.
Meanwhile his intimacy with Mamie grew unheeded
by himself. During the many hours of each day in
which he had no fixed occupation, he was almost constantly
with her, and their conversation was at last only
interrupted each evening to begin again the next afternoon,
240when he had done his work and came out of his
room in search of relaxation. He had never found any
explanation for her embarrassment on that day when he
had been rowing her about on the river, and after a time he
had ceased to seek for one. His brain was too busy with
other things, and what he wanted when he was with
her was rest rather than exercise for his curiosity in trying
to solve the small enigmas of her girlish thoughts.
She was a very pleasant companion, and that was all he
cared to know. She brought about him an atmosphere of
genuine and affectionate admiration that gave him confidence
in himself and smoothed the furrows of his imagination
when he had been giving that faculty more to do
than was good for it.
Mamie, too, was happier than she had been a month
earlier. She had no longer to suffer the humiliation of
taking her mother’s advice about what she should do,
and she could enjoy George’s company without feeling
that she had been told to enjoy it in her own interest.
As she learned to love him more and more, she was quick
also to understand his ways. Signs that had formerly
escaped her altogether were now as clear to her comprehension
as words themselves. She knew, now, almost
before he knew it himself, whether he wanted her to join
him, or not, whether he preferred to talk or to be silent,
whether he would like this question or that which she
thought of asking him, or whether he would resent it
and make her feel that she had made a mistake. One
day, she ventured to mention Constance’s name.
George had never visited the Fearings in their country-place,
and was not aware until he came to stay with his
cousin that they lived on the opposite shore of the river.
Their house was not visible from the Trimms’ side, as
it was surrounded by trees, and the stream was at that
point nearly two miles in width. Totty, however, who
always had a view to avoiding any possibility of anything
disagreeable, had very soon communicated the
information to George in an unconcerned way, while
241pointing out and naming to him the various country-seats
that could be seen from her part of the shore. George
did not forget what he had been told, and if he ever
crossed the river and rowed along the other bank, he
was careful to keep away from the Fearings’ land, in
order to guard against any unpleasant meetings.
Now it chanced that on a certain afternoon he was
pulling leisurely up stream towards a place where the
current was slack, and where he occasionally moored the
wherry to an old landing in order to rest himself and
talk more at his ease. Mamie of course was seated in
the stern, leaning back comfortably amongst her cushions
and holding the tiller-ropes daintily between the
thumb and finger of each hand. She could steer very
well when it was necessary, and she could even row well
enough to make some headway against the stream, but
George had been accustomed to being alone in a boat,
and gave her very little to do when he was rowing.
Mamie watched him idly, as his hands shot out
towards her, crossed as he drew them steadily back and
turned at the wrist to feather the oar as they touched
his chest. Then her gaze wandered down stream towards
the other shore, and she tried to make out the roof of
the Fearings’ house above the trees.
“George,” she said suddenly, “will you be angry?”
“I am never angry,” answered her cousin. “What
are you going to do now? If you mean to jump out of
the boat I will have a line ready.”
“No. I am not going to jump out of the boat. But
I am so afraid you will be angry, after all. It is something
I want to ask you. I am sure you will not like it!”
“One way of not making me angry would be not to
ask the question,” observed George, with a quiet smile.
“But I want to ask you so much!” exclaimed the
young girl, with an imploring look that made George’s
smile turn into a laugh. He had laughed more than once
lately, in a very natural manner.
“Out with it, Mamie!” he cried, pulling his sculls
242briskly through the water. “I shall not be very angry,
I daresay, and I have fallen out of the habit of eating
little girls. What is it?”
“Why do you never go and see the Fearings, George?
You used to be there so much.”
George’s expression changed, though he continued to
row with the same even stroke. His face grew very grave
and he unconsciously glanced across the river toward the
place at which Mamie had looked.
“I knew you would be angry!” she said in a repentant
tone.
“No,” George answered, “I am not angry. I am
thinking.”
He was, indeed, wondering how much of the truth the
girl knew, and he was distrustful enough to fancy that
she might have some object in putting the question. But
Mamie was not diplomatic like her mother. She was
simple and natural in her thoughts, and unaffected in her
manner. He glanced at her again and saw that she was
troubled by her indiscretion.
“Did your mother never tell you anything about it
all?” he asked after a long pause.
“No. I only heard what everybody heard—last May,
when the thing was talked about. I wondered—that is
all—I wondered whether you had cared very much—for
her.”
Again there was a long silence, broken only by the
even dipping of the oars and the soft swirl as they left
the water.
“I did care,” George answered at last. “I loved her
very dearly.”
He did not know why he made the confession. He
had never said so much to any one except his own father.
If he had guessed what Mamie felt for him, he would
assuredly not have answered her question.
“Are you very unhappy, still?” asked the young girl
in a dreamy voice.
“No. I do not think I am unhappy. I am different
243from what I was—that is all. I was at first,” he continued,
without looking at his companion, of whose
presence, indeed, he seemed scarcely conscious. “I was
unhappy—yes, of course I was. I had loved her long.
I had thought she would marry me. I found that she
was indifferent. I shall never go and see her again. She
does not exist for me any more—she is another person,
whom I do not wish to know. I have loved and been
disappointed, like many a better man, I suppose.”
“Loved and been disappointed!” repeated the young
girl in a very low voice, that hardly reached his ear.
She was looking down, carelessly tying and untying the
ends of the tiller-ropes.
“Yes. That is it,” he said as though musing on something
very long past. “You know now why I do not go
there.”
Then he quickened his stroke a little, and there was a
sombre light in his dark eyes that Mamie could not see,
for she was still looking down. She was glad that she
had asked the question, seeing how he had answered it.
There was something in his tone which told her that he
was not mistaken about himself, and that the past was
shut off from the present in his heart by a barrier it
would be hard to break down.
“Do you think you can ever love again?” she asked,
after a while, looking suddenly into his face.
“No,” he answered, avoiding her eyes. “I shall never
love any woman again—in the same way,” he added
after a moment’s pause.
When he looked at her, she was very pale. He remembered
all at once how she had changed colour and
burst into tears some weeks earlier, sitting in that same
place before him. Something was passing in her mind
which he could not understand. He was very slow to
imagine that she loved him. He was so dull of comprehension
that he all at once began to fancy she might be
more fond of Constance Fearing than he had guessed,
that she might be her friend, as Totty was, and that the
244two had brought him to their country-house in the hope
of soothing his anger, reviving his hopes, and bringing
him once more into close relations with the young girl
who had cast him off. The idea was ingenious in its
folly, but his ready wrath rose at it.
“Are you very fond of her, Mamie?” he asked, bending
his heavy brows and speaking in a hard metallic
voice.
The blood rushed into the girl’s face as she answered,
and her grey eyes flashed.
“I? I hate her! I would kill her if I could!”
George was completely confused. His explanation of
Mamie’s behaviour had flashed upon him so suddenly
that he had believed it the true one without an attempt
to reason upon the matter. Now, it was destroyed in an
instant by the girl’s angry reply. When one young
woman says that she hates another, it is tolerably easy
to judge from her tone whether she is in earnest or not.
Though he was still sorely puzzled, the cloud disappeared
from George’s face as quickly as it had come.
“This is a revelation!” he exclaimed. “I thought you
and your mother were devoted to them both.”
“It would be like me, would it not?” Mamie emphasised
her words with an angry little laugh.
“It is not like you to hate people so savagely,” George
observed, looking at her closely.
“I should always hate anybody who hurt you—and
I can hate, with all my heart!”
“Are you so fond of me as that?”
George thought that the girl was becoming every
moment harder to understand. It had seemed a very natural
question, since they had known each other and loved
each other like brother and sister for so long. But he
saw that there was something the matter. There was a
frightened look in Mamie’s grey eyes which he had
never seen before, as though she had come all at once
upon a great and unexpected danger. Then all the outline
of her face softened wonderfully with a strange and
245gentle expression under the young man’s gaze. She had
never been pretty, save for her eyes and her alabaster
skin. For one moment, now, she was beautiful.
“Yes,” she said in an uncertain voice, “I am very fond
of you—more fond of you than you will ever know.”
Her secret was out, though she did not realise it.
Then for the first time in George’s life, though he was
nearly thirty years of age, he looked on the face of a
woman who loved him with all her heart, and he knew
what love meant in another, as he had known it in himself.
The sun was going down behind the western hills and
the dark water was very smooth and placid as he dipped
his sculls noiselessly into the surface. He rowed evenly
on for some minutes without speaking. Mamie was looking
into the stream and drawing her white, ungloved
hand along the glassy mirror.
“Thank you, Mamie,” he said at last, very gently and
kindly.
Again there was silence as they shot along through the
purple shadows.
“And you, are you fond of me?” asked the young girl,
looking furtively towards him, then blushing and gazing
once more into the depths of the stream. George started
slightly. He had not thought that the question would
come.
“Indeed I am,” he answered. He thought he heard a
sigh on the rising evening breeze. “I grow more fond
of you every day,” he added quietly, though he felt that
he was very far from calm.
So far as he had spoken, his words had been truthful.
He was becoming more attached to Mamie every day,
and she was beginning to take the place that Constance
had occupied in his doings if not in his thoughts. But
there was not a spark of love in his growing affection
for her, and the discovery he had just made disturbed
him exceedingly. He had never blamed himself for
anything he had done in his intercourse with Constance
246Fearing, but he accused himself now of having misled
the innocent girl who loved him and of having then, by
a careless question, drawn from her a confession of what
she felt. It flashed upon him suddenly that he had taken
Constance’s place, and Mamie had taken his; that he had
been thoughtless and cruel in all he had said and done
during the last two months, and that she might well reproach
him with having been heartless. A thousand
incidents flooded his memory and crowded together upon
his brain, and each brought with it a sting to his sense
of honour. He had inadvertently done a great harm,
and it had been done since his coming to the country.
Before that, Mamie had felt for him exactly what he still
felt for her, a simple, open-hearted affection. Remembering
the brief struggle that had taken place in his mind
before he had accepted Totty’s invitation, he accused
himself of having known beforehand what would happen,
and of having weakly yielded because he had liked the
prospect of leading so luxurious an existence. What
surprised him, however, and threw all his reflections out
of balance was that Totty herself should not have foreseen
the disaster, Totty the diplomatic, Totty the
worldly, Totty the covetous, who would as soon have
given her daughter to one of her servants as to penniless
George Wood! It was past comprehension. Yet, in
spite of his distress, he could hardly repress a smile as
he imagined what Totty’s rage would be, should he marry
Mamie and carry her off before the eyes of her horrified
parent. Sherrington Trimm, himself, would be as well
satisfied with him as with any other honest man, if he
were sure of Mamie’s inclinations.
Now, however, something must be done at once. He
was not a weak creature, like Constance Fearing, to hesitate
for months and years, practising a deception upon
himself which he had not the courage to carry to the end.
He even regretted the last words he had spoken, and
which had been prompted by a foolish wish not to hurt
the girl’s feelings. It would have been better if he had
247left them unsaid. The situation must be defined, the
harm arrested, if it could not be undone, and should it
seem necessary, as it probably would, he himself must
leave the place on the following morning. He opened
his mouth to speak, but the blood rushed to his face and
he could not articulate the words. He was overcome
with shame and remorse and he would have chosen to do
anything, to undergo any humiliation rather than this.
But in a moment his strong nature gathered itself and
grew strong, as it always did in the face of great difficulties.
He hated hesitation and he would not hesitate,
cost what it might. He was not cowardly, and he would
not be afraid.
“Mamie,” he said, suddenly, and he wondered how his
voice could be so gentle, “Mamie, I do not love you.”
He had expected everything, except what happened.
Mamie looked into his eyes, and once again in the evening
light the expression of her love transfigured her half
pretty face and lent it a completeness of beauty such as
he had never seen.
“Have you not told me that, dear?” she asked, half
sadly, half lovingly. “It is not new. I have known it
long.”
George stared at her for a moment.
“I feared I had not said it clearly,” he answered in
low tones.
“Everything you have done and said has told me that,
for two months past. Do not say it again.”
“I must go away from this place. I will go to-morrow.”
She looked up with startled eyes.
“Go away? Leave me? Ah, George, you will not be
so unkind!”
The situation was certainly as strange as it was new,
and George was very much confused by what was happening.
His resolution to make everything clear was, however,
as unbending as before.
“Mamie,” he said, “we must understand each other.
248Things must not go on as they have gone so long. If I
were to stay here, do you know what I should be doing?
I should be acting towards you as Constance Fearing
acted with me, only it would be much worse, because I
am a man, and I have no right to do such things, as
women have.”
“It is different,” said the young girl, once more looking
down into the water.
“No, it is not different,” George insisted. “I have no
right to act as though I should ever love you, to make
you think by anything I do or say, that such a thing is
possible. I am a brute, I know. Forgive me, Mamie,
dear. It is so much better that everything should be
clearly understood now. We have known each other so
long, and so well——”
“Nothing that you can say will make it seem right to
me that you should go away——”
“It is right, nevertheless, and if I do not do it, as I
should, I shall never forgive myself——”
“I will forgive you.”
“I shall hate myself——”
“I will love you.”
“I shall feel that I am the most miserable wretch
alive.”
“I shall be happy.”
CHAPTER XVIII.
George had rowed to a point where a deep indentation
in the shore of the river offered a broad expanse of
water in which there was but little current. He rested
on his oars, bending his head and leaning slightly forward.
It seemed very hard that he should suddenly be
called upon to decide so important a question as had just
arisen, at the very moment when he was writing the most
difficult and interesting part of his book. To go away
249was not only to deprive himself of many things which
he liked, and among those Mamie’s own society had
taken the foremost place of late; it meant also to break
the current of his ideas and to arrest his own progress at
the most critical juncture. He remembered with loathing
the days he had spent in his little room in New
York, cudgelling his inert brain and racking his imagination
for a plot, a subject, for one single character, for
anything of which he might make a beginning. And he
looked back to a nearer time, and saw how easily his mind
had worked amidst its new and pleasant surroundings.
It is no wonder that he hesitated. Only the artist can
understand his own interest in his art; only the writer,
and the writer of real talent, can tell what acute suffering
it is to be interrupted in the midst of a piece of
good work, while its success is still uncertain in the
balance of his mind and while he still depends largely
upon outward circumstances for the peace and quiet
which are necessary to serious mental labour.
George was not heroic, though there was a touch of
quixotism in his nature. The temptation to stay where
he was, had a force he had not expected. Moreover,
whether he would or not, the expression he had twice
seen in Mamie’s face on that afternoon, haunted him and
fascinated him. He experienced the operation of a charm
unknown before. He looked up and gazed at the young
girl as she sat far back in the stern of the boat. She
was not pretty, or at most, not more than half pretty.
Her mouth was decidedly far too large, and her nose
lacked outline. She had a fairly good forehead; he admitted
that much, but her chin was too pointed and had
little modelling in it, while her cheeks would have been
decidedly uninteresting but for the extreme beauty of
her complexion. She was looking down, and he could
not see the grey eyes which were her best feature, but it
could not be denied that the long dark drooping lashes
and the strongly marked brown eyebrows contrasted
very well with the transparent skin. Her hair was not
250bad, though it was impossible to say whether those little
tangled ringlets were natural or were produced daily by
the skilful appliance of artificial torsion. If her mouth
was an exaggerated feature, at least the long, even lips
were fresh and youthful, and, when parted, they disclosed
a very perfect set of teeth. All this was true, and as
George looked, he summed up the various points and
decided that when Mamie wore her best expression, she
might pass for a pretty girl.
But she possessed more than that. The catalogue did
not explain her wonderful charm. It was not, indeed,
complete, and as he glanced from her downcast face to
the outlines of her shapely figure, he felt the sensation a
man experiences in turning quickly from the examination
of a common object, to the contemplation of one
that is very beautiful. Psyche herself could have boasted
no greater perfection of form and grace than belonged to
this girl whose features were almost all insignificant.
The triumph of proportion began at her throat, under
the small ears that were set so close to the head, and the
faultless lines continued throughout all the curves of
beauty to the point of her exquisite foot, to the longest
finger of her classic hand. Not a line was too short, not
a line too long, there was no straightness in any one,
and not one of them all followed too strong a curve.
George thought of Constance and made comparisons
with a coolness that surprised himself. Constance was
tall, straight, well grown, active; slight, indeed, but
graceful enough, and gifted with much natural ease in
motion. But that was all, so far as figure was concerned.
George had seen a hundred girls with just the same advantages
as Constance, and all far prettier than his
cousin. Neither Constance nor any of them could compare
with Mamie except in face. His eye rested on her
now, when she was in repose, with untiring satisfaction,
as his sight delighted in each new surprise of motion
when she moved, whether on horseback, or walking, or
at tennis. She represented to him the absolute ideal of
251refined animal life, combined with something spiritual
that escaped definition, but which made itself felt in all
she did and said.
When he thought of depriving himself for a long time
of her society, he discovered that he admired her far
more than he had suspected. It was admiration, but it
was nothing more. He felt no pain at the suggestion of
leaving her, but it seemed as though he were about to
be robbed of some object familiar to him, to keep which
was a source of unfailing, though indolent, satisfaction.
He could not imagine himself angry, if some man of his
acquaintance had married Mamie the next day, provided
that he might talk to her as he pleased and watch her
when he liked. There was not warmth enough in what
he felt for her to kindle one spark of jealousy against
any one whom she might choose for a husband.
But there was something added to the odd sort of
attraction which the girl exercised over him, something
which had only begun to influence him during the last
quarter of an hour or less. She loved him, and he had
just found it out. There is nothing more enviable than
to love and be loved in return, and nothing more painful
than to be loved to distraction by a person one dislikes.
It may be said, perhaps, that nothing can be so disturbing
to the judgment as to be loved by an individual to
whom one feels oneself strongly attracted in a wholly different
way. George Wood did not know exactly what
was happening to him, and he did not feel himself able
to judge his own case with any sort of impartiality; but
his instinct told him to go away as soon as possible and
to break off all intercourse with his cousin during some
time to come. She had argued the question with him in
her own way and had found answers to all he said, but
he was not satisfied. It was his duty to leave Mamie,
no matter at what cost, and he meant to go at once.
“My dear Mamie,” he said at last, still unconsciously
admiring the grace of her attitude, “I am very sorry for
myself, but there is only one way. I cannot stay here
any longer.”
252She raised her eyes and looked steadily at him.
“On my account?” she asked.
“Yes, and you know I am right.”
“Because I have been foolish and—and—unmaidenly,
I suppose.”
“Dear child—how you talk!” George exclaimed. “I
never said anything of the kind!” He was seriously
embarrassed to find an answer to her statement.
“Of course you did not say it. But you probably
thought it, which is the same thing. After all, it is
true, you know. But then, have I not a right to be foolish,
if I please? I have known you so long.”
“Yes indeed!” George answered with alacrity, for he
was glad to be able to agree with her in something. “It
is a long time, as you say—ever since we were children
together.”
“Then you think there was nothing so very bad about
what I said?”
“It was thoughtless—I do not know what it was.
There was certainly nothing bad in it, and besides, you
did not mean it, you know, did you?”
“Then why do you want to go away?” inquired Mamie,
with feminine logic, and candour.
“Why because——” George stopped as people often
do, at that word, well knowing what he had been about
to say, but now suddenly unwilling to say it. In fact,
to say anything under the circumstances would have been
a flagrant breach of tact. Since Mamie almost admitted
that she had meant nothing, she had only been making
fun of him and he could not well think of going away
without seeming ridiculous in his own eyes.
“’Because,’ without anything after it, is only a woman’s
reason,” said the young girl with a laugh.
“Women’s reasons are sometimes the best. At all
events, I have often heard you say so.”
“I am often laughing at you, when I seem most in
earnest, George. Have you never noticed that I have a
fine talent for irony? Do you think that if I were very
253much in love with you, I would tell you so? How conceited
you must be!”
“No indeed!” George asseverated. “I would not
imagine that you could do such a thing. When I told
you I would go away, I was only entering into the spirit
of the thing and carrying on your idea.”
“It was very well done. I cannot help laughing at
the serious face you made.”
“Nor I, at yours,” said the young man beginning to
pull the boat slowly about.
Matters had taken a very unexpected turn and he began
to feel his determination to depart oozing out of his fingers
in a way he had not expected. His position, indeed,
was absurd. He could not argue with Mamie the question
of whether she had been in earnest or not. Therefore
he was obliged to accept her statement, that she had
been jesting. And if he did so, how could he humiliate
her by showing that he still believed she loved him? In
other words, by packing up his traps and taking a summary
leave. He would only be making a laughing-stock
of himself in her eyes. Nor was he altogether free from
an unforeseen sensation of disappointment, very slight,
very vague, and very embarrassing to his self-esteem.
Look at it as he would, his vanity had been flattered by
her confession, and it had also, in some way, appealed
to his heart. To be loved by some one, as she had
seemed to love, when that expression had passed over
her face! The idea was pleasant, attractive, one on
which he would dwell hereafter and which would stimulate
his comprehension when he was describing scenes of
love in his books.
“So of course you will stay and behave like a human
being,” said Mamie, after a short pause, as though she
had summed up the evidence, deliberated upon it and
were giving the verdict.
“I suppose I shall,” George answered in a regretful
tone, though he could not repress a smile.
“You seem to be sorry,” observed the young girl with
254a quick, laughing glance of her grey eyes. “If there are
any other reasons for your sudden departure, it is quite
another matter. The one you gave has turned out badly.
You have not proved the necessity for ensuring my
salvation by taking the next train.”
“I would have gone by the boat,” said George.
“Why?”
“Because the river would have reminded me to the
last of this evening.”
“Do you want to be reminded of it as much as that?”
asked Mamie.
“Since it turns out to have been such a very pleasant
evening, after all,” George answered, glad to escape on
any terms from the position in which his last thoughtless
remark had placed him.
Mamie had shown considerable tact in the way by
which she had recovered herself, and George was unconsciously
grateful to her for having saved him from the
necessity of an abrupt leave-taking, although he could
not get rid of the idea that she had been more than half
in earnest in the beginning.
“It was very well done,” he said after they had landed
that evening and were walking up to the house through
the flower garden.
“Yes,” Mamie answered. “I am a very good actress.
They always say so in the private theatricals.”
The evening colour had gone from the sky and the
moon was already in the sky, not yet at the full. Mamie
stood still in the path and plucked a rose.
“I can act beautifully,” she said with a low laugh.
“Would you like me to give you a little exhibition?
Look at me—so—now the moonlight is on my face and
you can see me.”
She, looked up into his eyes, and once more her features
seemed to be transfigured. She laid one hand upon
his arm and with the other hand raised the rose to her
lips, kissed it, her eyes still fixed on his, then smiled and
spoke three words in a low voice that seemed to send a
thrill through the quiet air.
255“I love you.”
Then she made as though she would have fastened the
flower in his white flannel jacket, and he, believing she
would do it, and still looking at her, bent a little forward
and held the buttonhole ready. All at once, she sprang
back with a quick, graceful movement and laughed
again.
“Was it not well done?” she cried, tossing the rose
far away into one of the beds.
“Admirably,” George answered. “I never saw anything
equal to it. How you must have studied!”
“For years,” said the young girl, speaking in her usual
tone and beginning to walk by his side towards the
house.
It was certainly very strange, George thought, that
she should be able to assume such an expression and such
a tone of voice at a moment’s notice, if there were no
real love in her heart. But it was impossible to quarrel
with the way she had done it. There had been something
so supremely graceful in her attitude, something
so winning in her smile, something in her accent which
so touched the heart, that the incident remained fixed in
his memory as a wonderful picture, never to be forgotten.
It affected his artistic sense so strongly that before he
went to bed he took his pen and wrote it down, taking a
keen pleasure in putting into shape the details of the
scene, and especially in describing what escaped description,
the mysterious fascination of the girl herself. He
read it over in bed, was satisfied with it, thrust it under
his pillow, and went to sleep to dream it over again just
as it had happened, with one important exception. In
his dream, the figure, the voice, the words, were all
Mamie’s, but the face was that of Constance Fearing,
though it wore a look which he had never seen there. In
the morning he laughed over the whole affair, being only
too ready to believe that Mamie had really been laughing
at him and that she had only been acting the little
scene with the rose in the garden.
256A few days later an event occurred which again made
him doubtful in the matter. Since that evening he had
felt that he had grown more intimate with his cousin
than before. There had been no renewal of the dangerous
play on her part, though both had referred to it more
than once. Oddly enough it constituted a sort of harmless
secret, which had to be kept from Mamie’s mother
and over which they could be merry only when they were
alone. Yet, as far as George was concerned, though the
bond had grown closer in those days, its nature had not
changed, nor was he any nearer to being persuaded that
his cousin was actually in love with him.
At that time, John Bond and his wife, having made a
very short trip to Canada, returned to New York and
came thence to establish themselves in the old Fearing
house for the rest of the summer. John could not leave
the business for more than ten days in the absence of his
partner, and he did as so many other men do, who spend
the hot months on the river, going to town in the morning
and coming back in the evening. On Sundays only
John Bond did not make his daily trip to New York.
Since his marriage, he and Grace had not been over to
see the Trimms, though Mrs. Trimm had once been over
to them on a week-day in obedience to the custom which
prescribes that every one must call on a bride. There
had been much suave coldness between Totty and the
Fearings since the report of the broken engagement had
been circulated, but appearances were nevertheless maintained,
and Mr. and Mrs. Bond felt that it was their duty
to return the visit as soon as possible. Constance accompanied
them and the three sailed across the river
late on one Sunday afternoon. The river is a great barrier
against news, and as Totty had kept her house empty
of guests, for some reason best known to herself, and had
written to none of her many intimate friends that George
Wood was spending the summer with her, the three visitors
had no expectation of finding him among the party.
During the time which had followed her departure from
257town, Constance Fearing had fallen into a listless habit of
mind, from which she had found it hard to rouse herself
even so far as to help in the preparations for her sister’s
marriage. When the ceremony was over, she had withdrawn
again to her country-house in the sole company of
the elderly female relation who has been mentioned already
once or twice in the course of this history.
She was extremely unhappy in her own way, and there
were moments when the pain she had suffered renewed
itself suddenly, when she wept bitter tears over the
sacrifice she had been so determined to make. After one
of these crises she was usually more listless and indifferent
than ever, to all outward appearance, though in
reality her mind was continually preying upon itself,
going over the past again and again, living through the
last moments of happiness she had known, and facing
in imagination the struggle she had imposed upon herself.
She did not grow suddenly thin, nor fall ill, nor
go mad, as women do who have passed through some
desperate trial of the heart. She possessed, indeed, the
sort of constitution which sometimes breaks down under
a violent strain from without, but she had not been exposed
to anything which could bring about so fatal a
result. It was rather the regret for a lost interest in her
life than the keen agony of separation from one she had
loved, which affected her spirits and reacted very slowly
upon her health. At certain moments the sense of loneliness
made itself felt more strongly than at others, and
she gave way to tears and lamentation, in the privacy of
her own room, without knowing exactly what she wanted.
She still believed that she had done right in sending
George away, but she missed what he had taken with
him, the daily incense offered at her shrine, the small
daily emotions she had felt when with him, and which
her sensitive temper had liked for their very smallness.
There was no doubt that she had loved him a little, as
she had said, for she had always been ready to acknowledge
everything she felt. But it was questionable
258whether her love had increased or decreased since she
had parted from him, and her fits of spasmodic grief were
probably not to be attributed to genuine love-sickness.
On that particular Sunday afternoon chosen by the
Bonds for their visit to Mrs. Sherrington Trimm, Constance
was as thoroughly indifferent as usual to everything
that went on. She was willing to join her sister
and brother-in-law in their expedition rather than stay
at home and do nothing, but her mind was disturbed by
no presentiment of any meeting with George Wood.
It was towards evening, and the air was already cool
by comparison with the heat of the day. Mrs. Trimm,
her daughter and George were all three seated in a
verandah from which they overlooked the river and could
see their own neat landing-pier beyond the flower-garden.
The weather had been hot and none of the three
were much inclined for conversation. Suddenly Totty
uttered an exclamation of surprise.
“Those people are coming here! Who are they,
George? Can you see?”
George fixed his eyes on the landing and saw that the
sail-boat had brought to. At the same moment the sails
were quickly furled and a man threw a rope over one of
the wooden pillars. A few seconds elapsed and three
figures were seen upon the garden-walk.
“I wish you could see who they are, George,” said
Totty rather impatiently. “It is so awkward—not
knowing.”
“I think it is Miss Fearing,” George answered slowly,
“with her sister and John Bond.”
He was the only one of the three who did not change
colour a little as the party drew near. Mamie’s marble
forehead grew a shade whiter, and Totty’s pretty pink
face a little more pink. She was annoyed at being taken
unawares, and was sorry that George was present. As
for Mamie, her grey eyes sparkled rather coldly, and her
large, even lips were tightly closed over her beautiful
teeth. But George was imperturbable, and it would
259have been impossible to guess from his face what he felt.
He observed the three curiously as they approached the
verandah. He thought that Constance looked pale and
thin, and he recognised in Grace and her husband that
peculiar appearance of expensive and untarnished newness
which characterises newly-married Americans.
“I am so glad you have come over!” Totty exclaimed
with laudably hospitable insincerity. “It is an age since
we have seen any of you!”
Mamie gave Constance her hand and said something
civil, though she fixed her grey eyes on the other’s blue
ones with singular and rather disagreeable intensity.
“George has been talking to her about me, I suppose,”
thought Miss Fearing as she turned and shook hands
with George himself.
Grace looked at him quietly and pressed his hand with
unmistakable cordiality. Her husband shook hands
energetically with every one, inquired earnestly how
each one was doing, and then looked at the river. He
felt rather uncomfortable, because he knew that every
one else did, but he made no attempt to help the difficulty
by opening the conversation. He was not a talkative
man. Totty, however, lost no time in asking a
score of questions, to all of which she knew the answers.
George found himself seated between Constance and
Grace.
“Have you been here long, Mr. Wood?” Constance
asked, turning her head to George and paying no attention
to Totty’s volley of inquiries.
“Since the first of June,” George answered quietly,
and then relapsed into silence, not knowing what to say.
He was not really so calm as he appeared to be, and
the suddenness of the visit had slightly confused his
thoughts.
“I supposed that you were in New York,” said Constance,
who seemed determined to talk to him, and to
no one else. “Will you not come over and see us?”
she asked.
260“I shall be very happy,” George replied, without
undue coldness, but without enthusiasm. “Shall you
stay through the summer?”
“Certainly—my sister and John—Mr. Bond—are
there, too. You see, it is so dreadfully hot in town,
and he cannot leave the office, though there is nothing
in the world to do, I am sure. By the way, what are
you doing, if one may ask? I hope you are writing
something. You know we are all looking forward to
your next book.”
George could not help glancing sharply at her face,
which changed colour immediately. But he looked
away again as he answered the question.
“The old story,” he said. “A love story. What else
should I write about? There is only one thing that has
a permanent interest for the public, and that is love.”
He ended the speech with a dry laugh, not good to hear.
“Is it?” asked Constance with remarkable self-possession.
“I should think there must be many other
subjects more interesting and far easier to write upon.”
“Easier, no doubt. I will not question your judgment
upon that point, at least. More interesting to
certain writers, too, perhaps. Love is so much a matter
of taste. But more to the liking of the public—no.
There I must differ from you. The great majority of
mankind love, are fully aware of it, and enjoy reading
about the loves of others.”
Constance was pale and evidently nervous. She had
clearly determined to talk to George, and he appeared
to resent the advance rather than otherwise. Yet she
would not relinquish the attempt. Even in his worst
humour she would rather talk with him than with any
one else. She tried to meet him on his own ground.
“How about friendship?” she asked. “Is not that a
subject for a book, as well as love?”
“Possibly, with immense labour, one might make a
book of some sort about friendship. It would be a very
dull book to read, and a man would need to be very
261morbid to write it; as for the public it would have to
undergo a surgical operation to be made to accept it.
No. I think that friendship would make a very poor
subject for a novelist.”
“You do not think very highly of friendship itself, it
seems,” said Constance with an attempt to laugh.
“I do not know of any reason why I should. I know
very little in its favour.”
“Opinions differ so much!” exclaimed the young girl,
gaining courage gradually. “I suppose you and I have
not at all the same ideas about it.”
“Evidently not.”
“How would you define friendship?”
“I never define things. It is my business to describe
people, facts and events. Bond is a lawyer and a man
of concise definitions. Ask him.”
“I prefer to talk to you,” said Constance, who had by
this time overcome her sensitive timidity and began to
think that she could revive something of the old confidence
in conversation. Unfortunately for her intentions,
Mamie had either overheard the last words, or did not
like the way things were going. She rose and pushed
her light straw chair before her with her foot until it
was opposite the two.
“What do you do with yourself all day long?” she
asked as she sat down. “I am sure you are giving my
cousin the most delightful accounts of your existence!”
“As a matter of fact, we were talking of friendship,”
said George, watching the outlines of Mamie’s exquisite
figure and mentally comparing them with Constance’s
less striking advantages.
“How charming!” Mamie exclaimed sweetly. “And
you have always been such good friends.”
With a wicked intuition of the mischief she was making,
Mamie paused and looked from the one to the other.
Constance very nearly lost her temper, but George’s dark
face betrayed no emotion.
“The best of friends,” he said calmly. “What do you
262think of this question, Mamie? Miss Fearing says she
thinks that a good book might be written about friendship.
I answered that I thought it would be far from
popular with the public. What do you say?”
Constance looked curiously at Mamie, as though she
were interested in her reply. It seemed as though she
must agree with one or the other. But Mamie was not
easily caught.
“Oh, I am sure you could, George!” she exclaimed.
“You are so clever—you could do anything. For
instance, why do you not describe your friendship?
You two, you know you would be so nice in a book.
And besides, everybody would read it and it could not
be a failure.” Mamie smiled again, as she looked at
her two hearers.
“I should think Mr. Wood might do something in a
novel with you as well as with me,” said Constance.
George was not sure whether Mamie turned a shade
whiter or not. She was naturally pale, but it seemed to
him that her grey eyes grew suddenly dark and angry.
“You might put us both into the same book, George,”
she suggested.
“Both as friends?” asked Constance, raising her delicate
eyebrows a little, while her nostrils expanded. She
was thoroughly angry by this time.
“Why, of course!” Mamie exclaimed with an air of
perfect innocence. “What could you suppose I meant?
I do not suppose he would be rude enough to fall in love
with either of us in a book. Would you, George?”
“In books,” said George quietly, “all sorts of strange
things happen.”
Thereupon he turned and addressed Grace, who was
on the other side of him, and kept up an animated conversation
with her throughout the remainder of the visit.
It seemed to him to be the only way of breaking up an
extremely unpleasant situation. Constance was grateful
to him for what he did, for she felt that if he had
chosen to forget his courtesy even for an instant he
263would have found it easy to say many things which
would have wounded her cruelly and which would not
have failed to please his cousin. George, on his part,
had acquired a clearer view of the real state of things.
“How I hate her!” Mamie said to herself, when Constance
was gone.
“What a hateful, spiteful little thing she is!” thought
Constance as she stepped into the boat.
CHAPTER XIX.
George was not altogether pleased by what had happened
during the visit. He had expected that Constance
would be satisfied with exchanging a few words of no
import, and that she would make no attempt to lead
him into conversation. Instead of this, however, she
had seemed to be doing her best to make him talk, and
had really been the one to begin the trouble which had
ensued. If she had not allowed herself to refer in the
most direct manner to the past, she would not have
exposed herself to Mamie’s subsequent attack. As for
Mamie, though she had successfully affected a look of
perfect innocence, and had spoken in the gentlest and
most friendly tone of voice, there was no denying the
fact that her speeches had made a visible impression
upon Constance Fearing. The latter had done her best
to control her anger, but she had not succeeded in hiding
it altogether. It was impossible not to make a comparison
between the two girls, and, on the whole, the
comparison was in Mamie’s favour, so far as self-possession
and coolness were concerned.
“You were rather hard on Miss Fearing yesterday,”
George said on the following morning, when they were
alone during the quarter of an hour he allowed to elapse
between breakfast and going to work.
264“Hard on her? What do you mean?” asked Mamie
with well-feigned surprise.
“Why—I mean when you suggested that I should put
you both into a book together. Oh, I know what you
are going to say. You meant nothing by it, you had not
thought of what you were going to say, you would
not have said anything disagreeable for the world.
Nevertheless you said it, and in the calmest way, and
it did just what you expected of it—it hurt her.”
“Well—do you mind?” Mamie inquired, with amazing
frankness.
“Yes. You made her think that I had been talking
to you about her.”
“And what harm is there in that? You did talk
about her a little a few days ago—on a certain evening.
And, moreover, Master George, though you are a great
man and a very good sort of man, and a dear, altogether,
besides possessing the supreme advantage of being my
cousin, you cannot prevent me from hating your beloved
Constance Fearing nor from hurting her as much as I
possibly can whenever we meet—especially if she sits
down beside you and makes soft eyes at you, and tries
to get you back!”
“Do not talk like that, Mamie. I do not like it.”
Mamie laughed, and showed her beautiful teeth.
There was a vicious sparkle in her eyes.
“You want to be taken back, I suppose,” she said.
“Tell me the truth—do you love her still?”
George suddenly caught her by the two wrists and
held her before him. He was annoyed and yet he could
not help being amused.
“Mamie, you shall not say such things! You are as
spiteful as a little wild-cat!”
“Am I? I am glad of it—and I am not in the least
afraid of you, or your big hands or your black looks.”
George laughed and dropped her hands with a little
shake, half angry, half playful.
“I really believe you are not!” he exclaimed.
265“Of course not! Was she? Or were you afraid of
her? Which was it? Oh, how I would have liked to
see you together when you were angry with each other!
She can be very angry, you know. She was yesterday.
She would have liked to tear me to pieces with those
long nails of hers. I hate people who have long nails!”
“You seem to hate a great many people this morning.
I wish you would leave her alone.”
“Oh, now you are going to be angry, too! But then,
it would not matter.”
“Why would it not matter?”
“Because I am only Mamie,” answered the girl, looking
up affectionately into his face. “You never care
what I say, do you?”
“I do not know about that,” George said. “What do
you mean by saying that you are only Mamie?”
“Mamie is nobody, you know. Mamie is only a
cousin, a little girl who wants nothing of George but
toys and picture-books, a silly child, a foolish, half-witted
little thing that cannot understand a great man—much
less tease him. Can she?”
“Mamie is a witch,” George answered with a laugh.
There was indeed something strangely bewitching about
the girl. She could say things to him which he would
not have suffered his own sister to say if he had had
one.
“I wish I were! I wish I could make wax dolls, like
people I hate, as the witches used to do, and stick pins
into their hearts and melt them before the fire, little by
little.”
“What has got into your head this morning, you
murderous, revengeful little thing?”
“There are many things in my head,” she answered,
suddenly changing her manner, and speaking in an oddly
demure tone, with downcast eyes and folded hands.
“There are more things in my head than are dreamt of
in yours—at least, I hope so.”
“Tell me some of them.”
266“I dare do all that becomes—a proper little girl,”
said Mamie, laughing, “but not that.”
“Dear me! I had no idea that you were such a desperate
character.”
“Tell me, George—if you did what I suggested
yesterday and put us both into a book, Conny Fearing
and me, which would you like best?”
“I would try and make you like each other, though I
do not know exactly how I should go about it.”
“That is not an answer. It is of no use to be clever
with me, as I have often told you. Would you like me
better than Conny Fearing? Yes—or no! Come, I am
waiting! How slow you are.”
“Which do you want me to say? I could do either—in
a book, so that it can make no difference.”
“Oh—if it would make no difference, I do not care
to know. You need not answer me.”
“All the better for me,” said George with a laugh.
“Good-bye—I am going to work. Think of some easier
question.”
George went away, wondering how it was all going to
end. Mamie was certainly behaving in a very strange
way. Her conduct during the visit on the previous
afternoon had been that of a woman at once angry and
jealous, and he himself had felt very uncomfortable.
The extreme gentleness of her manner and expression
while speaking with Constance had not concealed her
real feelings from him, and he had felt something like
shame at being obliged to sit quietly in his place while
she wounded the woman he once loved so dearly, and of
whom he still thought so often. He had done everything
in his power to smooth matters, but he had not been able
to do much, and his own humour had been already ruffled
by the conversation that had gone before. He was
under the impression that Constance had gone away feeling
that he had been gratuitously disagreeable, and he
was sorry for it.
Before very long, he had an opportunity of ascertaining
267what Constance felt and thought about his doings.
On the afternoon of the Sunday following the one on
which she had been to the Trimms’, George had crossed
to the opposite side of the river, alone, had landed near
a thick clump of trees and was comfortably established
in a shady spot on the shore with a book and a cigar.
The day was hot and it was about the middle of the
afternoon. Mamie and her mother had driven to the
neighbouring church, for Totty was punctual in attending
to her devotions, whereas George, who had gone with
them in the morning, considered that he had done enough.
He was not sure to whom the land on which he found
himself belonged, and he had some misgiving that it
might be a part of the Fearing property. But he had
been too lazy to pull higher up the stream when he had
once crossed it, and had not cared to drop down the
current as that would have increased the distance he
would have had to row when he went home. He fancied
that on such a warm day and at such a comparatively
early hour, none of the Fearings were likely to be abroad,
even if he were really in their grounds.
Under ordinary circumstances he would have been safe
enough. It chanced, however, that Constance had been
unusually restless all day, and it had occurred to her
that if she could walk for an hour or more in her own
company she would feel better. The place where George
was sitting was actually in her grounds, and she, knowing
it to be a pretty spot, where there was generally a
breeze, had naturally turned towards it. He had not
been where he was more than a quarter of an hour when
she came upon him. He heard a light step upon the
grass, and looking up, saw a figure all in white within
five paces of him. He recognised Constance, and sprang
to his feet, dropping his book and his cigar at the same
moment. Constance started perceptibly, but did not
draw back. George was the first to speak.
“I am afraid I am trespassing here,” he said quickly.
“If so, pray forgive me.”
268“You are welcome,” Constance answered, recovering
herself. “It is one of the prettiest places on the river,”
she added a moment later, resting her hands upon the
long handle of her parasol and looking out at the sunny
water.
There was nothing to be done but to face an interview.
She could hardly turn her back on him and walk away
without exchanging a few phrases, and he, on his part,
could not jump into his boat and row for his life as though
he were afraid of her. Of the two she was the one best
pleased by the accidental meeting. To George’s surprise
she seated herself upon the grass, against the root of one
of the great old trees.
“Will you not sit down again?” she asked. “I disturbed
you. I am so sorry.”
“Not at all,” said George, resuming his former attitude.
“Why do you say ‘not at all’ in that way? Of course
I disturbed you, and I am disturbing you now, out of
false politeness, because I am on my own ground and
feel that you are a guest.”
She was a little confused in trying to be too natural,
and George felt the false note, and was vaguely sorry
for her. She was much less at her ease than he, and she
showed it.
“I came here out of laziness,” he said. “It was a bore
to pull that heavy boat any farther up, and I did not
care to lose way by going farther down. I did not feel
sure whether this spot was yours or not.”
Constance said nothing for a moment, but she tapped
the toe of her shoe rather impatiently with her parasol.
“You would not have landed here if you had thought
that there was a possibility of meeting me, would you?”
The question was rather an embarrassing one and was
put with great directness. It seemed to George that the
air was full of such questions just now. He considered
that his answer might entail serious consequences and
he hesitated several seconds before speaking.
“It seems to me,” he answered at last, “that although
269I have but little reason to seek a meeting with you, I
have none whatever for avoiding one.”
“I hope not, indeed,” said Constance, in a low voice.
“I hope you will never try to avoid me.”
“I have never done so.”
“I think you have,” said the young girl, not looking
at him. “I think you have been unkind in never taking
the trouble to come and see us during all these months.
Why have you never crossed the river?”
“Did you expect that after what has passed between
us I should continue to make regular visits?” George
spoke earnestly, without raising or lowering his tone,
and waited for an answer. It came with some hesitation.
“I thought that—after a time, perhaps, you would
come now and then. I hoped so. I cannot see why you
should not, I am sure. Are we enemies, you and I?
Are we never to be friends again?”
“Friendship is a relation I do not understand,” George
answered. “I think I said as much the other day when
you mentioned the subject.”
“Yes. Somebody interrupted the conversation. I
think,” said Constance, blushing a little, “that it was
your cousin. I wanted to say several things to you then,
but it was impossible before all those people. Since we
have met by accident, will you listen to me? If you
would rather not, please say so and I will go away. But
please do not say anything unkind. I cannot bear it and
I am very unhappy.”
There was something simple and pathetic in her appeal
to his forbearance, which moved him a little.
“I will do whatever you wish,” he said, in a tone that
reminded her of other days. He folded his hands upon
one knee and prepared to listen, looking out at the broad
river.
“Thank you. I have longed for a chance of saying it
to you, ever since we last met in New York. It has
always seemed very easy to say until now. Yes. It is
270about friendship. Last Sunday I was trying to speak
of it, and you were very unkind. You laughed at me.”
“I am sincerely sorry, if I did. I did not know that
you were in earnest.”
“I was, and I am, very much in earnest. It is the
only thing that can make my life worth living.”
“Friendship?” asked George quietly. He meant to
keep his word and say nothing that could hurt her.
“Your friendship,” she answered. “Because I once
made a great mistake, is there to be no forgiveness? Is
it impossible that we should ever be good friends, see
each other often and talk together as we did in the old
days? Are you always to meet me with a stony face and
hard, cruel words? Was my sin so great as that?”
“You have not committed any sin. You should not
use such words.”
“Oh, do not find fault with the way I say it—it is so
hard to say it at all! Try and understand me.”
“I do understand you, I think, but what you propose
does not look possible to me. There has been that between
us which makes it very hard to try such experiments.
Do you not think so?”
“It may seem hard, but it is not impossible, if you
will only try to think more kindly of me. Do you know
what my mistake was—where I was most wrong? It
was in not telling you—what I did—a year sooner. Let
us be honest. Break through this veil there is between
us, if it is only for to-day. What is formality to you or
me? You loved me once—I could not love you. Is that
a reason why you should treat me like a stranger when
we meet, or why I should pick and choose my words with
you, as though I feared you instead of—of being very
fond of you? Think it all over, even if it pains you a
little. You would have done anything for my sake once.
If I had told you a year earlier—as I ought to have told
you—that I could never love you enough to marry you,
would you then have been so angry and have gone away
from me as you did?”
271“No. I would not,” said George. “But there was that
difference——”
“Wait. Let me finish what I was going to say. It
was not what I did, it was that I did it far too late. You
would not have given up coming to see me, if it had all
happened a year earlier. My fault lay in putting it off
too long. It was very wrong. I have been very sorry
for it. There is nothing I would not do for you—I am
just what I always was in my feelings towards you—and
more. Can I humiliate myself more than I have done
before you? I do not think there are many women who
would have done what I have done, what I am doing now.
Can I be more humble still? Shall I confess it all
again?”
“You have done all that a woman could or should,”
George said, and there was no bitterness in his voice. It
seemed to him that the old Constance he had loved was
slowly entering into the person of the young girl before
him, whom he had of late treated as a stranger and who
had been so really and truly one in his sight.
“And yet, will you not forgive?” she asked in a low
and supplicating tone.
He gazed at the river and did not speak. He was not
conscious that she was watching his face intently. She
saw no bitterness nor hardness there, however, but only
an expression of perplexity. The word forgiveness did
not convey to him half what it meant to her. She attached
a meaning to it, which escaped him. She was
morbid and had taken an unreal view of all that had
happened between them. His mind was strong, natural
and healthy, and he could not easily understand why she
should lend such importance to what he now considered
a mere phrase, no matter how he had regarded it in the
heat and anger of his memorable interview with her.
“Miss Fearing—” he began. He hardly knew why he
called her by name, unless it was that he was about to
make a categorical statement. So soon as the syllables
had escaped his lips, however, he repented of having
272pronounced them. He saw a shade of pain pass over her
face, and at the same time it seemed a childish way of
indicating the distance by which they were now separated.
It reminded him of George the Third’s “Mr.
Washington.”
“Constance,” he said after another moment’s hesitation,
“we do not speak in the same language. You ask
me for my forgiveness. What am I to forgive? If there
is anything to be forgiven, I forgive most freely. I was
very angry, and therefore very foolish on that day when
I said I would not forgive you. I am not angry now.
What I feel is very different. I bear you no malice, I
wish you no evil.”
Constance was silent and looked away. She did not
understand him, though she felt that he was not speaking
unkindly. What he offered her was not what she
wanted.
“Since we have come to these explanations,” George
continued after a pause, “I will try and tell you what it
is that I feel. I called you Miss Fearing just now. Do
you know why? Because it seems more natural. You
are not the same person you once were, and when I call
you Constance, I fancy I am calling some one else by the
name of your old self, of the Constance I loved, and who
loved me—a little.”
“It is not I who have changed,” said the young girl,
looking down. “I am Constance still, and you are my
best and dearest friend, though you be ever so unkind.”
“A change there is, and a great one. I daresay it is
in me. I was never your friend, as you understand the
word, and you were mistaken in thinking that I was. I
loved you. That is not friendship.”
“And now, since I am another person—not the one
you loved—can you not be my friend as well as—as you
are of others? Why does it seem so impossible?”
“It is too painful to be thought of,” said George in a
low voice. “You are too like the other, and yet too different.”
273Constance sighed and twisted a blade of grass round
her slender white finger. She wished she knew how to
do away with the difference he felt so keenly.
“Do you never miss me?” she asked after a long silence.
“I miss the woman I loved,” George answered. “Is
it any satisfaction to you to know it?”
“Yes, for I am she.”
There was another pause, during which George glanced
at her face from time to time. It had changed, he
thought. It was thinner and whiter than of old and
there were shadows beneath the eyes and modellings—not
yet lines—of sadness about the sensitive mouth.
He wondered whether she had suffered, and why. She
had never loved him. Could it be true that she missed
his companionship, his conversation, his friendship, as
she called it? If not, why should her face be altered?
And yet it was strange, too. He could not understand
how separation could be painful where there was no love.
Nevertheless he was sorry that she should have suffered,
now that his anger was gone.
“I am glad you loved me,” she said at last.
“And I am very sorry.”
“You should not say that. If you had not loved me—more
than I knew—you would not have written,
you would not be what you are. Can you not think of
it in that way, sometimes?”
“What shall it profit a man if he gain the whole world
and lose his own soul?” said George bitterly.
“You have not lost your soul,” answered Constance,
whose religious sensibilities were a little shocked, at
once by the strength of the words as by the fact of their
being quoted from the Bible. “You have no right to say
that. You will some day find a woman who will love
you as you deserve——”
“And whom I shall not love.”
“Whom you will love as well as you once loved me.
You will be happy, then. I hope it may happen soon.”
274“Do you?” asked George, turning upon her quickly.
“For your sake I hope so, with all my heart.”
“And for yours?”
“I hope I should like her very much,” said Constance
with a forced laugh, and looking away from him.
“I am afraid you will not,” George answered, almost
unconsciously. The words fell from his lips as a reply
to her strained laughter which told too plainly her real
thoughts.
“You should not ask such questions,” she said, a
moment later. “Do you find it hard to talk to me?”
she asked, suddenly turning the conversation.
“I think it would be hard for you and me to talk about
these things for long.”
“We need not—if we meet. It is better that we
should have said what we had to say, and we need never
say it again. And we shall meet more often, now, shall
we not?”
“Does it give you pleasure to see me?” There was a
touch of hardness in the tone.
Constance looked down and the colour came into her
thin face. Her voice trembled a little when she spoke.
“Are you going to be unkind to me again? Or do you
really wish to know?”
“I am in earnest. Does it give you pleasure to see
me?”
“After all I have said—oh, George, this has been the
happiest hour I have spent since the first of May.”
“Are you heartless or are you not?” asked George
almost fiercely. “Do you love me that you should care
to see me? Or does it amuse you to give me pain?
What are you, yourself, the real woman that I can never
understand?”
Constance was frightened by the sudden outbreak of
passion, and turned pale.
“What are you saying? What do you mean?” she
asked in an uncertain voice.
“What I say? What I mean? Do you think it is
275pleasure to me to talk as we have been talking? Do you
suppose that my love for you was a mere name, an idea,
a thing without reality, to be discussed and dissected
and examined and turned inside out? Do you fancy that
in three months I have forgotten, or ceased to care, or
learned to talk of you as though you were a person in a
book? What do you think I am made of?”
Constance hid her face in her hands and a long
silence followed. She was not crying, but she looked as
though she were trying to collect her thoughts, and at
the same time to shut out some disagreeable sight. At
last she looked up and saw that his lean, dark face was
full of sadness. She knew him well and knew how much
he must feel before his features betrayed what was passing
in his mind.
“Forgive me, George,” she said in a beseeching tone.
“I did not know that you loved—that you cared for me
still.”
“It is nothing,” he answered bitterly. “It will pass.”
Poor Constance felt that she had lost in a moment
what she had gained with so much difficulty, the renewal
of something like unconstrained intercourse. She rose
slowly from the place where she had been sitting, two or
three paces away from him. He did not rise, for he was
still too much under the influence of the emotion to heed
what she did. She came and stood before him and looked
down into his face.
“George,” she said slowly and earnestly, “I am a very
unhappy woman—more unhappy than you can guess.
You are dearer to me than anything on earth, and yet I
am always hurting you and wounding you. This life is
killing me. Tell me what you would have me do and
say, and I will do it and say it—anything—do you
understand—anything rather than be parted from you
as I have been during these last months.”
She meant every word she said, and in that moment,
if George had asked her to be his wife she would have
consented gladly. But he did not understand that she
276meant as much as that. He seemed to hesitate a moment
and then rose quickly to his feet and stood beside her.
“You must not talk like that,” he said. “I owe you
much, Constance, very much, though you have made me
very unhappy. I do not understand you. I do not know
why you should care to see me. But I will come to you
as often as you please if only you will not talk to me
about what is past. Let us try and speak of ordinary
things, of everyday matters. I am ashamed to seem to
be making conditions, and I do not know what it all
means, because, as I have said, I cannot understand you,
and I never shall. Will you have me on those terms?”
He held out his hand as he spoke the last words, and
there was a kindly smile on his face.
“Come when you will and as you will—only come!”
said Constance, her face lighting up with gladness. She,
at least, was satisfied, and saw a prospect of happiness
in the future. “Come here sometimes, in the afternoon,
it will be like——”
She was going to say that it would be like the old
time when they used to meet in the Park.
“It will be like a sort of picnic, you know,” were the
words that fell from her lips. But the blush on her face
told plainly enough that she had meant to say something
else.
“Yes,” said George with a grim smile, “it will be like
a sort of picnic. Good-bye.”
“Good-bye—when will you come?” Constance could
not help letting her hand linger in his as long as he
would hold it.
“Next Sunday,” George answered quickly. He reflected
that it would not be easy to escape Mamie on any
other day.
A moment later he was in his boat, pulling away into
the midstream. Constance stood on the shore watching
him and wishing with all her heart that she were sitting
in the stern of the neat craft, wishing more than all that
he might desire her presence there. But he did not.
277He knew very well that he could have stayed another
hour or two in her company if he had chosen to do so,
but he had been glad to escape, and he knew it. The
meeting had been painful to him in many ways, and it
had made him dissatisfied and disappointed with himself.
It had shown him what he had not known, that
he loved the old Constance as dearly as ever, though he
could not always recognise her in the strange girl who
did not love him but who assured him that her separation
from him was killing her. He had hoped and
almost believed that he should never again feel an emotion
in her presence, and yet he had felt many during
that afternoon. Nor did he anticipate with any pleasure
a renewal of the situation on the following Sunday,
though he was quite sure that he had no means of avoiding
it. If he had thought that Constance was merely
making a heartless attempt to renew the old relations,
he would have given her a sharp and decisive refusal.
But she was undoubtedly in earnest and she was evidently
suffering. She had gone to the length of reminding him
that he owed the beginning of his literary career to her
influence. It was true, and he would not be ungrateful.
Courtesy and honour alike forbade ingratitude, and he
only hoped that he might become accustomed to the pain
of such meetings.
CHAPTER XX.
When George met Mamie on that evening, he hoped
that she would ask no questions as to the way in which
he had employed his afternoon, for he knew that if she
discovered that he had been with Constance Fearing she
would in all probability make some disagreeable observations
about the latter, of a kind which he did not wish
to hear. Without having defined the situation in his
own mind, he felt that Mamie was jealous of Constance
278and would show it on every occasion. As a general rule
she followed her mother’s advice and asked him no
questions when he had been out alone. But this evening
her curiosity was aroused by an almost imperceptible
change in his manner. His face was a shade darker,
his voice a shade more grave than usual. After dinner,
Totty stayed in the drawing-room to write letters
and left the two together upon the verandah. It was
very dark and they sat near each other in low straw
chairs.
“What have you been doing with yourself?” Mamie
asked, almost as soon as they were alone.
“Something that will surprise you,” George answered.
“I have been with Miss Fearing.”
He had no intention of concealing the fact, for he saw
that such a course would be foolish in the extreme. He
meant to go and see Constance again, as he had promised
her, and he saw that it would be folly to give a clandestine
appearance to their meetings.
“Oh!” exclaimed Mamie, “that accounts for it all!”
He could not see her face distinctly, but her tone told
him that she was smiling to herself.
“Accounts for what?” he asked.
“For a great many things. For your black looks and
your gloomy view of the dinner, and your general unsociability.”
“I do not feel in the least gloomy or unsociable,”
George said drily. “You have too much imagination.”
“Why did you go to see her?”
“I did not. I landed on their place without knowing
it, and when I had been there a quarter of an hour, Miss
Fearing suddenly appeared upon the scene. Is there
anything else you would like to know?”
“Now you are angry!” Mamie exclaimed. “Of
course. I knew you would be. That shows that your
conversation with Conny was either very pleasant or
very disagreeable. I am not naturally curious, but I
would like to know what you talked about!”
279“Would you?” George laughed a little roughly. “We
did not talk of you—why should you want to know?”
“Oh, that mine enemy would write a book!” Mamie
exclaimed, “and put into it an accurate report of your
conversations, and send it to me to be criticised.”
“Why are you so vicious? Let Miss Fearing alone,
if you do not like her. She has done you no harm, and
there is no reason why you should call her your enemy,
and quote the Bible against her.”
“I hate to hear you call her Miss Fearing. I know
you call her Constance when you are alone with her.”
“Mamie, you are a privileged person, but you sometimes
go too far. It is of no consequence what I call
her. Let us drop the subject and talk of something else,
unless you will speak of her reasonably and quietly.”
“Do you expect me to go with you when you make
your next visit?”
“I shall be very glad if you will, provided that you
will behave yourself like a sensible creature.”
“As I did the other day, when she was here? Is that
the way?” Mamie laughed.
“No. You behaved abominably——”
“And she has been complaining to you, and that is the
reason why you are lecturing me, and making the night
hideous with your highly moral and excellent advice.
Give it up, George. It is of no use. I am bad by nature.”
George was silent for a few minutes. It was clear
that if he meant to see Constance from time to time in
future matters must be established upon a permanent
basis of some sort.
“Mamie,” he said at last, “let us be serious. Are you
really as fond of me as you seem to be? Will you do
something, not to please me, but to help me?”
“Provided it is easy and I like to do it!” Mamie
laughed. “Of course I will, George,” she added a
moment later in a serious tone.
“Very well. It is this. Forget, or pretend to forget,
that there is such a person as Miss Fearing in the world.
280Or else go and see her and be as good and charming as
you know how to be.”
“You give me my choice? I may do either?”
“It will help me if you will do either. I cannot hear
her spoken of unkindly, and I cannot see her treated as
you treated her the other day, without the shadow of a
cause.”
“I think there is cause enough, considering how she
treated you. Oh, yes, I know what you will say—that
there never was any engagement, and all the rest of it.
It is very honourable of you, and I admire you men
much for putting it in that way. But we all knew, and
it is of no use to deny it, you know.”
“You do not believe me? I give you my word of
honour that there was no engagement. Do you understand?
I made a fool of myself, and when I came to
put the question I was disappointed. She was as free
to refuse me as you are now, if I asked you to marry
me. Is that clear?”
“Perfectly,” said Mamie in a rather unnatural tone.
“Since you give me your word, it is a different thing.
I have been mistaken. I am very sorry.”
“And will you do what I ask?”
“If you give me my choice, I will go and see her
to-morrow. I will do it to please you—though I do not
understand how it can help you.”
“It will, nevertheless, and I shall be grateful to you.”
The result of this conversation was that Mamie actually
crossed the river on the following day and spent an
hour with Constance Fearing to the great surprise of the
latter, especially when she saw that her visitor was
determined to be agreeable, as though to efface the impression
she had made a few days earlier. Mamie was
very careful to say nothing in the least pointed, nor anything
which could be construed as an allusion to George.
Totty saw and wondered, but said nothing. She supposed
that Mamie had made the visit because George
had asked her to, and she was well satisfied that George
281should take the position of asking Mamie to do anything
for him. That sort of thing, she said to herself, helps
on a flirtation wonderfully.
As for George he did not look forward to his next
meeting with Constance with any kind of pleasure.
It was distinctly disagreeable, and he wished that something
might happen to prevent it. He did not know
whether Constance would tell Grace of his coming, but
it struck him that he would not like to be surprised by
Grace when he was sitting under the trees with her
sister. Grace would assuredly not understand why he
was there, and he would be placed in a very false position.
So far, he was right. Constance had not mentioned
her meeting with George to any one, and had no intention
of doing so. She, like George, said to herself that
Grace would not understand, and it seemed wisest not to
give her understanding a chance. Of late George had
been rarely mentioned, and there was a tendency to
coldness between the sisters if his name was spoken,
even accidentally. Constance had at first been grateful
for the other’s readiness to help her on the memorable
first of May, but as time went on, she began to feel that
Grace was in some way responsible for her unhappiness
and she resented any allusion to the past. Fortunately,
Grace was very much occupied with her own existence
at that time and was little inclined to find fault with
other people’s views of life. She had married the man
she loved, and who loved her, for whom she had waited
long, and of whom she was immensely proud. He was
exactly suited to her taste and represented her ideal of
man in every way. She would rather talk of him than
of George Wood, and she preferred his company to her
sister’s when he was at home. They were a couple
whose happiness would have become proverbial if it had
been allowed to continue; one of those couples who are
not interesting but to watch whom is a satisfaction, and
whom it is always pleasant to meet. There was just the
282right difference of age between them, there was just the
right difference in height, the proper contrast in complexion,
both had much the same tastes, both were very
much in earnest, very sensible, and very faithful. It
was to be foreseen that in the course of years they would
grow more and more alike, and perhaps more and more
prejudiced in favour of their own way of looking at
things, that they would have sensible, good-looking
children, who would do all those things which they ought
to do and rejoice their parents’ hearts, in short that they
would lead a peaceful and harmonious life and be in
every way an honour to their principles and a model to
all young couples yet unmarried. They were people to
whom nothing unusual would ever happen, people who,
if they had had the opportunity to invent gunpowder,
would have held a matrimonial consultation upon the
matter and would have decided that explosives should
be avoided with care, and had better not be invented at
all. Since their marriage they had both been less in
sympathy with Constance than before, and the latter was
beginning to suspect that it would not be wise for them
to live together when they returned to town. She was
in some doubt, however, about making any definite
arrangements. The elderly female relation who had
been a companion and a chaperon to the two young girls,
was on her hands, and had begun to show signs of turning
into an invalid. It was impossible to turn her adrift,
though she was manifestly in the way at present, and
yet if Constance decided to live by herself, the good
lady was not the sort of person she needed. She gave a
good deal of thought to the matter, and turned it over in
every way, little suspecting that an event was about to
occur which would render all such arrangements futile.
On the Sunday afternoon agreed upon, George got into
the boat alone and pulled away into the stream without
offering any explanation of his departure to Mrs. Trimm
or to Mamie. He took it for granted that they intended
to go to church as usual and that he would not be missed.
283Moreover, he owed no account of his doings to any one,
as he said to himself, and would assuredly give none.
He started at an early hour, but was surprised to see
that Constance was at the place of meeting before him.
As he glanced over his shoulder to see that he was rowing
for the right point, he caught sight of her white
serge dress beneath the trees.
“I have been watching you ever since you started,” she
said, holding out her hand to him. “Why do you always
row instead of sailing? There is a good breeze, too.”
“There are two reasons,” he answered. “In the first
place, the Trimms have no sail-boat, and secondly, if
they had, I should not know how to manage it.”
“My brother-in-law and Grace are out. Do you see
their boat off there? Just under the bluff. They said
they would probably go to your cousin’s a little later.
And now sit down. Do you know? I was afraid you
would not come, until I saw your boat.”
“What made you think that? Did I not promise that
I would come?”
“Yes—I know. But I was afraid something would
happen to prevent you—and then, when one looks forward
to something for a whole week, it so often does not
happen.”
“That is true. But then, presentiments are always
wrong. What have you been doing with yourself all the
week?” George asked, feeling that since he had come so
far, it was incumbent upon him to try and make conversation.
“Not much. I had one surprise—your cousin Mamie
came over on Tuesday and made a long visit. I had
not expected her, I confess, but she was in very good
spirits and talked charmingly.”
“She is a very nice girl,” said George indifferently.
“Of course—I know. But when we were all over
there the other day I thought—” she stopped suddenly
and looked at George. “Is it forbidden ground?” she
asked, with a slight change of colour.
284“What? Mamie? No. Why should we not talk
about her?”
“Well—I fancied she did not like me. She said one
or two things that I thought were meant to hurt me.
They did, too. I suppose I am very sensitive. After
all, she looked perfectly innocent, and probably meant
nothing by it.”
“She often says foolish things which she does not
mean,” said George reflectively. “But she is a very
good girl, all the same. You say she was agreeable the
other day—what did you talk about?”
“She raved about you,” said Constance. “She is a
great admirer of yours. Did you know it?”
“I know she likes me,” George answered coolly. “Her
mother is a very old friend of mine and has been very
kind to me. She saw that I was worn out with work,
and insisted upon my spending the summer with them,
as Sherry Trimm is abroad and they had no man in the
house. So Mamie came over here to sing my praises,
did she?”
“Yes, and she sang them very well. She is so enthusiastic—it
is a pleasure to listen to her.”
“I should think you would find that sort of thing rather
fatiguing,” said George with a smile.
“Strange to say I did not. I could bear a great deal
of it without being in the least tired. But, as I told you,
I was surprised by her visit. Do you know what I
thought? I thought that you had made her come and be
nice, because you had seen that I had been annoyed when
we were over there. It would have been so like you.”
“Would it? If I had done what you suppose, I would
not tell you and I am very glad she came. I wish you
knew each other better, and liked each other.”
“We can, if you would be glad,” said Constance. “I
could go over there and ask her here, and see a great
deal of her, and I could make her like me. I will if you
wish it.”
“Why should I put you to so much trouble, for a
matter of so little importance?”
285“It would be a pleasure to do anything for you,” answered
the young girl simply. “I wish I might.”
George looked at her gravely and saw that she was very
much in earnest. The readiness with which she offered
to put herself to any amount of inconvenience at the
slightest hint from him, proved she was looking out for
some occasion of proving her friendship.
“You are very kind, Constance,” he said gently. “I
thank you very much.”
A silence followed, broken only by the singing of the
wind in the old trees. The sky was overcast and there
were light squalls on the water. Presently George began
to talk again and an hour passed quickly away, far more
quickly and pleasantly than he had believed possible.
They had many thoughts and ideas in common, and the
first constraint being removed it was impossible that
they should be long together without talking freely.
“Why not kill him?” said Constance in a critical tone.
“It would solve many difficulties, and after all you do
not want him any more.”
They were talking of the book he was now writing.
Insensibly they had approached the subject, and being
once near it, George had not resisted the temptation to
tell her the story.
“It would be so easy,” she continued. “Take him out
in a boat and upset him, you know. They say drowning
is a pleasant death. A boat like my brother-in-law’s—there
it is. Do you see?”
Grace and her husband had been across to see Totty
and were returning. The breeze was uncertain, and
from time to time the boat lay over in a way that looked
dangerous.
“Murder and sudden death!” said George with a light
laugh. “Do you not think it would be more artistic to
let him live? When I was a starving critic, that was one
of my favourite attacks. At this point the author, for
reasons doubtless known to himself, unexpectedly drowns
his hero, and what might have proved a very fair story
286is brought to an abrupt close. You know the style. I
used to do it very well. Do you not think they will say
that?”
“What does it matter? Besides, it is only a suggestion,
and this particular man is not the hero. I never
liked him from the beginning, and I should be glad if
he were brought to an awful end!”
“How heartless! But he is not so bad as you think.
I never could tell a story well in this way, and you have
not read the book. By Jove! I believe they have
brought over Mamie and her mother. There are a lot
of people in the boat.”
He was watching the little craft rather anxiously. It
struck him that he would rather not be found sitting
under the trees with Constance, by that particular party
of people.
“You do not think they will come here, do you?” he
asked, turning to his companion. It seemed almost as
natural as formerly that they should agree in not wishing
to be interrupted by Grace, nor by any one else.
“Oh no!” Constance answered. “They will not come
here. The buoy is anchored opposite the landing, much
farther down, and John could not moor her to the shore.
It is odd, though, that he should be running so free. He
is losing way by coming towards us.”
“I am sure they have seen us and mean to land here,”
said George in a tone that betrayed his annoyance.
Both watched the little boat in silence for some minutes.
“You are right,” Constance said at last. “They are
coming here. It is of no use to run away,” she added,
quite naturally. “They must have seen my white frock
long ago. Yes, here they are.”
By this time the boat was less than twenty yards from
the shore and within speaking distance. She was a small,
light craft, half-decked, and rigged as a cutter. John
Bond was steering and the three ladies were seated in
the middle. John let her head come to the wind and
sang out—
287“Wood! I say!”
“Hullo!” George answered, springing to his feet and
advancing to the edge of the land.
“Can you take the ladies ashore in your boat?”
“All right!” George sprang into the light wherry,
taking the painter with him, and pulled alongside of the
party. In a moment the three ladies were over the side
and crowded together in the stern.
“You will meet us at the house, dear, won’t you?”
said Grace to her husband just as George was turning his
boat to row back.
“Yes, as soon as I can take her to her moorings,”
answered John, who was holding the helm up with one
hand and loosening the sheet with the other.
As George rowed towards the land he faced the river
and saw what happened. The three ladies were all
looking in the opposite direction. The little cutter’s
head went round, slowly at first, and then more quickly
as the wind filled the sail. At that moment a sharp
squall swept over the water. George could see that John
was trying to let the sheet go, but the rope was jammed
and the sail remained close hauled, as it had been when
he made the boat lie to. She had little ballast in her,
and the weight of the ladies being out of her, left her far
too light. George was not a practical sailor, and he
turned pale as he saw the cutter lie over upon her side,
though he supposed it might not be as dangerous as it
looked. A moment later he stopped rowing. The little
vessel had capsized and was floating bottom upwards.
John Bond was nowhere to be seen.
“Can your husband swim?” he asked quickly of Grace.
She started violently as she saw the look on his face,
turned, caught sight of the sail-boat’s keel and then
screamed.
“Save him! Save him!” she cried in agony.
“Take the sculls, Mamie!” cried George as he sprang
over the side into the river. He had not even thrown
off his shoes or his flannel jacket.
288George had calculated that he could reach the place
where the accident had occurred much sooner by swimming
than in the boat, which was long and narrow and
needed some time to turn, and which moreover was moving
in the opposite direction. He was a first-rate swimmer
and diver and trusted to his strength to overcome
the disadvantage he was under in being dressed. In a
few seconds he had reached the cutter. John Bond was
nowhere to be seen. Without hesitation he drew a long
breath and dived under the boat. The unfortunate man
had become entangled in the ropes and was under the
vessel, struggling desperately to free himself. George
laid hold of him just as he was making his last convulsive
effort. But it was too late. The wet sail and the
slack of the sheet had somehow fastened themselves
about him. He grasped the arm with which George tried
to help him, and his grip was like a steel vice, for John
Bond was a very strong man and he was in his death
agony. George now struggled for his own life, trying
to free himself from the death clasp that held him, making
desperate efforts to get his head under the side of the
boat in order to breathe the air. But he could not loosen
the dead man’s iron hold. The effort to hold his breath
could go no further, he opened his mouth, and made as
though he were breathing, taking the cool fresh water
into his lungs, while still exerting his utmost strength
to get free. Then a delicious dreamy sleep seemed to
come over him and he lost consciousness.
Mamie Trimm showed admirable self-possession. She
brought her mother and Grace ashore in spite of their
cries and entreaties, for she knew that they could do
nothing, and she herself did not believe at first that anything
serious had happened, and told them so as calmly
as she could. She knew that George was an admirable
swimmer and she had no fear for him, though as she
reached the land she saw him dive under the capsized
boat. He would reappear in thirty seconds at the most,
and would probably bring John Bond up with him. She
289had great difficulty in making Grace go ashore, however,
and without her mother’s assistance she would have
found it altogether impossible. The four women stood
near together straining their sight, when nothing was to
be seen. The struggles of the two men moved the light
hull of the cutter during several seconds and then all was
quiet.
With parted lips and blanched cheeks Constance Fearing
stared at the water, leaning against the tree that was
nearest to the edge. Grace would have fallen to the
ground if Mrs. Trimm had not held her arms about
her. Mamie stood motionless and white, expecting every
moment to see George’s dark head rise to the surface,
believing that he could not be drowned.
At that moment a third boat, rowed by four strong
pairs of arms shot past the wooded point at a tremendous
speed, the water flying to right and left of the sharp
prow, and churning in the wake, while the hard breathing
of the desperate rowers could be heard.
“Jump on her keel, fellows!” roared a lusty voice.
“There are four of us and we can right her. They’re
both under the stern!”
In an instant, as it seemed, the little cutter was lying
on her side, and the four women could see the bodies of
John Bond and George Wood clasped together and entangled
in the sail, but partly drawn out of water by the
lifting of the boat’s side. Quicker than thought Mamie
was in the wherry again and out on the water. The
cutter had drifted in shore with the current during the
two or three minutes in which all had happened. The
girl saw that the rescuers needed help and was with them
in an instant. What she did she never remembered
afterwards, but for many days the strain upon her
strength left her bruised and aching from head to foot.
In less than a minute the bodies of the two men were in
her boat and two of the newcomers were pulling her
ashore. The others caught their own craft again and
swam to land, pushing it before them.
290With a cry that seemed to break her heart Grace fell
upon her husband’s corpse. He was dead, and she knew
it, though two of the men did everything in their power
to restore him. They were all gentlemen who lived by
the river, and knew what to do in such cases.
On the other side the two young girls knelt beside the
body of George Wood, both their faces as white as his,
both silent, both helping to their utmost in the attempt to
bring him to life. The men were prompt and determined
in their action. One of them was a physician. For many
minutes they moved George’s arms up and down with a
regular, cadenced motion, so as to expand and contract
the lungs and produce an artificial breathing.
“I am afraid it is all up,” said one in a low voice to
his companion.
“Not yet,” answered the other, who was the doctor.
“I believe he is alive.”
He was right. A minute later George’s eyelids trembled.
“He is alive,” said Constance in a strange, happy
voice.
Mamie said nothing, but her great grey eyes opened
wide with joy. Then all at once, with a smothered cry
she threw herself upon him and kissed his dark face passionately,
heedless of the two strangers as she was of the
girl who was kneeling opposite to her.
Constance seized her by the arm and pushed her away
from George with a strength no one would have suspected
her of possessing.
“What is he to you, that you should do that?” she
asked in a tone trembling with passion.
Mamie’s eyes flashed angrily as she shook herself free
and raised her head.
“I love him,” she said proudly. “What are you to
him that you should come between us?”
George opened his eyes slowly.
“Constance!” He could hardly articulate the name,
and a violent fit of coughing succeeded the effort.
291The two girls looked into each other’s eyes. Both had
heard the syllables, and both knew what they meant. In
Constance’s face there was pride, triumph, supreme happiness.
In Mamie’s closely-set lips and flashing eyes
there was implacable hatred. She rose to her feet and
drew back, slowly, while Constance remained kneeling
on the ground. One moment more she remained where
she was, gazing at her retreating rival. Then, with one
more glance at George’s reviving eyes, she sprang up
and went to her sister’s side.
Grace’s grief was uncontrollable and terrible to see.
During the night that followed it was impossible to
make her leave her husband’s body. She was far too
strong to break down or to go mad, and she suffered
everything that a human being can suffer without a moment’s
respite.
Constance never left her, though she could do nothing
to soothe her fearful sorrow. Words were of no use,
for Grace could not hear them. There was nothing to be
done, but to wait and pray that she might become exhausted
by the protracted agony.
It was late in the evening when the four gentlemen
who had saved George’s life brought him home with
Mamie and her mother. There had been much to be
thought of before he could think of returning. They
had carried him to Constance’s house at first, for he had
been unable to walk, and they had given him some of
the dead man’s clothes in place of his own dripping garments,
had chafed him and warmed him and poured
stimulants down his throat. The doctor in the party
had strongly urged him to spend the night where he
was. But nothing could induce him to do that. As soon
as he was strong enough to walk he insisted on recrossing
the river.
Even Totty was terribly shocked and depressed by
what had happened. She was not without heart and the
tears came into her eyes when she thought of Grace’s
cruel bereavement.
292“Oh, George,” she said before they retired for the
night, “you don’t think anything more could have been
done, do you? It was quite impossible to save him, was
it not?”
A faint smile passed over the tired face of the man
who had to all intents and purposes sacrificed his own
life in the attempt to save John Bond, who had been as
dead as he so far as his own sensations were concerned.
“I did what I could,” he answered simply.
Mamie looked keenly into his eyes, as she bade him
good-night. Her mother was already at the door.
“You love Constance Fearing still,” she said in a tone
that could not reach Totty’s ears.
“I hope not,” George answered with sudden coldness.
“When you opened your eyes, you said ‘Constance’
quite distinctly. We both heard it.”
“Did I? That was very foolish. The next time I
am drowned in the presence of ladies I will try and be
more careful.”
CHAPTER XXI.
The sudden death of John Bond caused an interruption
in the lives of most of the people concerned in this history.
George Wood had received one of those violent
mental impressions from which men do not recover for
many weeks. It was long before he could rid his dreams
of the ever-repeated scene. When he closed his eyes
the white sail of the little cutter rose before them, the
sharp and sudden squall struck the canvas, and almost
at the same instant he felt himself once more in the cool
depths, struggling with a man already almost dead,
striving with agonised determination to hold his breath,
then abandoning the effort and losing consciousness,
only to awake with a violent start and a short, smothered
cry.
293Even Totty, who was not naturally nervous, was
haunted by terrible visions in the night and was a little
pale and subdued during a fortnight after the accident.
Mamie wore a strange expression, which neither George
nor her mother could understand. Her lips were often
tightly set together as though in some desperate effort,
in which her eyelids drooped and her fingers grasped
convulsively whatever they held. She was living over
again that awful moment when she had clutched what
she had believed to be the dead body of the man she
loved, and almost unaided, she knew not how, had
dragged it into the boat. There was another instant,
too, which recalled itself vividly to her memory, the one
in which the reviving man had pronounced Constance’s
name, and Constance had shown her triumph in her eyes.
As often happens in such cases, both George and
Mamie had been less exhausted on the evening of the
fatal day than they had been for several days afterwards.
It was long before Mamie made any reference again to
the first word he had spoken with returning consciousness.
She often, indeed, stood gazing across the river,
towards the scene of the tragedy and beyond the tall trees
in the direction of the house that was hidden behind
them, and George knew what was in her thoughts better
than he could tell what was in his own. He had learned
soon enough that he owed a large share of gratitude for
the preservation of his life to Mamie herself. The
young doctor who had done so much, had been to see him
more than once and had repeated to him that if he had
been left, even with his head above water, but without
the immediate assistance necessary in such cases, during
two or three minutes more, he would in all likelihood
never have breathed again. The presence of a boat on
the spot, and above all Mamie’s exhibition of an almost
supernatural strength in getting George into the wherry,
had really saved his life. Without her, the four men
who had acted so promptly would have been helpless.
Their own craft was adrift and empty, and they had been
294unable to right the cutter so as to make use of her, light
as she was. The doctor did not fail to say the same
thing to Mamie, complimenting her on her presence of
mind and extraordinary energy in a way that brought
the colour to her pale cheeks. George felt that a new
tie bound him to his cousin.
It was indeed impossible that where there was already
so much genuine affection on the one side and so much
devoted love on the other, such an accident should not
increase both in a like proportion. Whether it were
really true that Mamie had been the immediate means of
saving George or not, the testimony was universally in
favour of that opinion, and the girl herself was persuaded
that without her help he would have perished.
She had saved him at the moment of death, and she
loved him ten times more passionately than before. As
for him, he doubted his own power to reason in the
matter. He had been fond of her before; he was devotedly
attached to her now. His whole nature was full of
gratitude and trust where she was concerned, and his
relations with Constance Fearing began to take the appearance
of an infidelity to Mamie. If he asked himself
whether he felt or could ever feel for his cousin what he
had felt so strongly for Constance, the answer was plain
enough. It was impossible. But if he put the matter
differently he found a different response in his heart.
If, thought he, the two young girls were drowning
before his eyes, as John Bond and he had been drowning
before theirs, and if it were only possible to save one,
which should it be? In that imaginary moment that
was so real from his recent experience, when he was
swimming forward with all his might to reach the spot
in time, would he have struck out to the right and saved
Mamie, or would he have turned to the left and drawn
Constance ashore? There was no hesitation. Mamie
should have lived and Constance might have died, though
he would have risked his own life a hundred times to
help her after the first was safe, and though the thought
295of her death sent a sharp pain through his heart. Was he
then in love with both? That was an impossibility, he
thought, an absurdity that could never be a reality, the
creation perhaps of some morbid story-maker, evolved
without experience from the elaboration of imaginary
circumstances.
Since he had entered upon this frame of mind he had
grown very cautious and reticent. He was playing with
fire on both sides. That Mamie loved him with all her
heart he now no longer doubted, and as for Constance,
now that he had not seen her for some time and had
found leisure to reflect upon her conduct, it seemed clear
that the latter could not be explained upon any ordinary
theory of friendship, and if so, she also loved him in her
own strange way. He wished it had been easier to
decide between the two, if he must decide at all. If
there was to be no decision, he should lose no time in
leaving the neighbourhood. To stay where he was would
be to play a contemptibly irresponsible part. He was
disturbing Constance’s peace of mind, and he was not
sure that at any moment he might not do or say something
that would make Mamie believe that he loved her.
He owed too much to these two beings, about whom
his strongest affections were centred, he could not and
would not give either the one or the other a moment’s
pain.
Totty was also not without her apprehensions in the
matter. When she had somewhat recovered from the
impression of the accident, she began to think it very
odd that George should have been sitting alone with Constance
under the trees on that Sunday afternoon. She
remembered that he had disappeared mysteriously soon
after luncheon, without saying anything of his intentions.
She argued that he had certainly not met Constance
by accident, and that if the meeting had been
agreed upon the two must have met before. She knew
that George had once loved the girl, and all she positively
knew of the cause of the coldness between them
296was what she had learned from himself. She had
undoubtedly refused him and he had been very angry,
but that did not prevent his offering himself again, and
did not by any means exclude the possibility of his being
accepted. Totty was worldly-wise, and she understood
young women of Constance’s type better than most of
them understand themselves. They imagine that in
refusing men they are temporarily, and by an act of
their own volition, putting them back from the state of
love to the state of devoted friendship, in order to discover
whether they themselves are in earnest. Many
men bear the treatment kindly and reappear at the
expected time with their second declaration, are accepted,
happily married and forgotten promptly by designing
mothers. Occasionally a man appears who is like George
Wood, who raves, storms, grows thin and refuses to
speak to the heartless little flirt who has wrecked his
existence, until, on a summer’s day he is unexpectedly
forced into her society again, when he finds that he loves
her still, tells her so and receives a kind answer,
prompted by the fear of losing him altogether.
The prospect was not a pleasant one. If at the present
juncture Constance were to succeed in winning George
back, Totty was capable of being roused to great and
revengeful wrath. Hitherto she had not even thought
of such a catastrophe as probable, but the discovery that
the two had been spending a quiet afternoon together
under the trees strangely altered the face of the situation.
If, however, George still felt anything for the girl, Totty
had not failed to see that she also had gained something
by the accident. It was a great point that Mamie should
have saved George’s life, and the longer Mrs. Trimm
thought of it, the more sure she became that he had
owed his salvation to the young girl alone, and that the
four gentlemen who had appeared so opportunely had
only been accessories to her action. George must be
hard-hearted indeed if he were not grateful, and the
natural way of showing his gratitude should be to fall in
297love without delay. But George was an inscrutable
being, as was sufficiently shown by his secretly meeting
Constance. Totty wondered whether she ought not to
give him a hint, to convey tactfully to him the information
that Mamie was deeply in love, to let him know
that he was welcome to marry her. She hesitated to do
this, however, fearing lest George should take to flight.
She knew better than any one that he had been more
attracted by the comfort, the quiet and the luxury of her
home than by Mamie, when he had consented to spend
the summer under the roof, and though Mamie herself
had now grown to be an attraction in his eyes, she did
not believe that the girl had inspired in him anything
like the sincere passion he had felt for Constance.
Meanwhile those who had been most nearly affected by
the calamity were passing through one of those periods
of life upon which men and women afterwards look back
with amazement, wondering how they could have borne
so much without breaking under the strain. Grace was
beside herself with grief. After the first few days of
passionate weeping she regained some command over her
actions, but the deep-seated, unrelenting pain, which no
longer found vent in tears was harder to bear, inasmuch
as it was more conscious of itself and of its own fearful
proportions. For many days, the miserable woman
never left her room, sitting from morning till evening
in the same attitude, dry-eyed and motionless, gazing
at the place where her dead husband had lain; and in
that same place she lay all night, sleepless, waiting for
the dawn, looking for the first grey light at the window,
listening for his breathing, in the mad hope that it had
all been but a dream which would vanish before the
morning sun. Her heart would not break, her strong,
well-balanced intelligence would not give way, though
she longed for death or madness to end her sufferings.
At first Constance was always with her, but before
long she understood that the strong woman preferred to
be alone. All that could be done was to insist upon her
298taking food at regular intervals and to pray that her
state might soon change. Once or twice Constance urged
her to leave the place and to allow herself to be taken to
the city, to the seaside, abroad, anywhere away from
everything that reminded her of the past. But Grace
stared at her with coldly wondering eyes.
“It is all I have left—the memory,” she said, and
relapsed into silence.
Constance consulted physicians without her sister’s
knowledge, but they said that there was nothing to be
done, that such cases were rare but not unknown, that
Mrs. Bond’s great strength of constitution would survive
the strain since it had resisted the first shock. And so
it proved in the end. For on a certain morning in September,
when Constance was seated alone in a corner of
the old-fashioned garden, she had been startled by the
sudden appearance of a tall figure in black, and of a face
which she hardly recognised as being her sister’s. She
had been accustomed to seeing her in the dimness of a
darkened room, wrapped in loose garments, her smooth
brown hair hanging down in straight plaits. She was
dressed now with all the scrupulous care of appearance
that was natural to her, with perfect simplicity as
became her deep mourning, but also with perfect taste.
But the correctness of her costume only served to show
the changes that had taken place during the past weeks.
She was thin almost to emaciation, her smooth young
cheeks were hollow and absolutely colourless, her brown
eyes were sunken and their depth was accentuated by the
dark rings that surrounded them. But she was erect as
she walked, and she held her head as proudly as ever.
Her strength was not gone, for she moved easily and without
effort. Any one would have said, however, that, instead
of being nearly two years younger than Constance,
as she actually was, she must be several years older.
When Constance saw her, she rose quickly with the
first expression of joy that had escaped her lips for many
a day.
299“Thank God!” she exclaimed. “At last!”
“At last,” Grace answered quietly. “One thing only,
Constance,” she continued after a pause. “I will be
myself again. But do not talk of going away, and never
speak of what has happened.”
“I never will, dear,” answered the older girl.
There had been many inquiries made at the house
by messengers from Mrs. Trimm, but neither she, nor
Mamie nor George had ventured to approach the place
upon which such awful sorrow had descended. They
had been surprised at not learning that the two sisters
had left their country-seat, and had made all sorts of
conjectures concerning their delay in going away, but
they gradually became accustomed to the idea that Grace
might prefer to stay where she was.
“It would kill me!” Totty exclaimed with much
emphasis.
“I could not do it,” said Mamie, looking at George
and feeling suddenly how hateful the sight of the river
would have been to her if she had not seen his eyes open
on that terrible day when he lay like dead before her.
“I would not, whether I could or not,” George said.
And he on his part wondered what he would have felt,
had Constance or Mamie, or both, perished instead of
John Bond. A slight shiver ran through him, and told
him that he would have felt something he had never
experienced before.
One morning when they were all at breakfast a note
was brought to George in a handwriting he did not
recognise, but which was oddly familiar from its resemblance
to Constance’s.
“Do see what it is!” exclaimed Totty before he had
time to ask permission to read it.
His face expressed nothing as he glanced over the few
lines the note contained, folded it again and put it into
his pocket.
“Mrs. Bond wants me to go and see her,” he said, in
explanation. “I wonder why!”
300“It is very natural,” Totty answered. “She wants to
thank you for what you did.”
“Very unnecessary, considering the unfortunate result,”
observed George thoughtfully.
“Will you go to-day?” Mamie asked in the hope that
he would suggest taking her with him.
“Of course,” he answered shortly. As soon as breakfast
was over he went to his work, without spending
what he called his quarter of an hour’s grace in the
garden with his cousin.
George Wood was a nervous and sensitive man in spite
of his strong organisation, and he felt a strong repugnance
to revisiting the scene of the fatal accident. He
had indeed been on the river several times since Bond
had been drowned, and had taken Mamie with him, telling
her that one ought to get over the first impression at
once, lest one should lose the power of getting over them
at all. But to row into the very water in which John
had died and he himself had nearly lost his life, was as
yet more than he cared to do when there was no definite
object to be gained. Though the little wooded point of
land was nearer to the house than the landing, he went
to the latter without hesitation.
He was shocked at Grace’s appearance when he met
her in the great old drawing-room. Her face was very
grave, almost solemn in its immobility, and her eyes
looked unnaturally large.
“I fear I have given you a great deal of trouble, Mr.
Wood,” she said as she laid her thin cold fingers in his
hand. He remembered that her grasp had formerly
been warm and full of life.
“Nothing that you could ask of me would give me
trouble,” George answered earnestly. He had an idea
that she wanted him to do her some service, in some way
connected with the accident, but he could not imagine
what it might be.
“Thank you,” she said. He noticed that she continued
to stand, and that she was apparently dressed for
301going out. “That is one reason why I asked you to
come. I have not been myself and have seen no one
until now. Let me thank you—as only I can—for
your noble and gallant attempt to save my husband.”
Her voice did not tremble nor did the glance of her
deep eyes waver as she spoke of the dead man, but George
felt that he had never seen nor dreamed of such grief as
hers.
“I could not do less,” he said hoarsely, for he found it
hard to speak at all.
“No man ever did more. No man could do more,”
Grace said gravely. “And now, will you do me a great
service? A great kindness?”
“Anything,” George answered readily.
“It will be hard for you. It will be harder for me.
Will you come with me to the place and tell me as well
as you can, how it all happened?”
George looked at her in astonishment. Her eyes were
fixed on his face and her expression had not changed.
“It is the only kindness any one can do for me,” she
said simply; and then without waiting for any further
answer she turned towards the door.
George walked by her side in silence. They left the
house and took the direction of the wooded point, never
exchanging a word as they went. From time to time
George glanced at his companion’s face, wondering
inwardly what manner of woman she might be who was
able to suffer as she evidently had suffered, and yet
could of her own accord face such an explanation of
events as she had asked him to give her. In less than
ten minutes they had reached the spot. Grace stood a
few seconds without speaking, her thin face fixed in its
unchangeable look of pain, her arms hanging down, her
hands clasped loosely together.
“Now tell me. Tell me everything. Do not be
afraid—I am very strong.”
George collected his thoughts. He wished to make
the story as short as possible, while omitting nothing
that was of vital importance.
302“I was rowing,” he said, “and I saw what happened.
The boat was lying to and drifting very slowly. Your
husband put the helm up and she began to turn. At
that moment the squall came. He tried to let out the
sail—that would have taken off the pressure—but it
seemed as though he could not. The last I saw of him
was just as the boat heeled over. He seemed to be trying
to get the sheet—the rope, you know—loose, so
that it would run. Then the boat went over and I
thought he had merely fallen overboard upon the other
side. I asked you if he could swim. When you cried
out, I jumped over and swam as hard as I could. Not
seeing him I dived under. He seemed to be entangled
in the ropes and the sail and was struggling furiously.
I tried to drag him back, but he could not get out and
caught me by the arm so that I could not move either.
I did my best, but my breath would not hold out, and I
could not get my head from under. He was not moving
then, though he held me still. That is the last I
remember, his grip upon my arm. Then I took in the
water and it was all over.”
He ceased speaking and looked at Grace. She was, if
possible, paler than before, but she had not changed her
position and she was gazing at the water. Many seconds
elapsed, until George began to fear that she had fallen
into a sort of trance. He waited a little longer and then
spoke to her.
“Mrs. Bond!” She made no reply. “Are you ill?”
he asked. She turned her head slowly towards him.
“No. I am not ill. Let us go back,” she said.
They returned to the house as silently as they had
come. Her step did not falter and her face did not
change. When they reached the door, she stood still
and put out her hand, evidently wishing him to leave
her.
“You were very brave,” she said. “And you have
been very kind to-day. I hope you will come and see
me sometimes.”
303George bowed his head silently and took leave of her.
He had not the heart to ask for Constance, and, indeed,
he preferred to be alone for a time. He had experienced
a new and strange emotion, and his eyes had been
opened concerning the ways of human suffering. If he
had not seen and heard, he would never have believed
that a woman capable of such calmness was in reality
heartbroken. But it was impossible to look at Grace’s
face and to hear the tones of her voice without understanding
instantly that the whole fabric of her life was
wrecked. As she had told her sister, she had nothing
left but the memory, and she had been determined that
it should be complete, that no detail should be wanting
to the very end. It was a satisfaction to remember that
his last words—insignificant enough—had been addressed
to her. She had wanted to know what his last
movement had been, his last struggle for life. She
knew it all now, and she was satisfied, for there was
nothing more to be known.
As he rowed himself slowly across the river, George
could not help remembering the Grace Fearing he
remembered in old times and comparing her with the
woman he had just left. The words she had spoken in
praise of his courage were still in his ear with their
ring of heartfelt gratitude and with the look that had
accompanied them. There was something grand about
her which he admired. She had never been afraid to
show that she disliked him when she had feared that he
might marry her sister. When Constance had at last
determined upon her answer, it had been Grace who had
conveyed it, with a frankness which he had once distrusted,
but which he remembered and knew now to
have been real. She had never done anything of which
she was ashamed and she had been able now to thank
him from her heart, looking fearlessly into his eyes.
She would have behaved otherwise if she had ever
deceived him. She would have said too much or too
little, or she might have felt bound to confess at such a
304moment that she had formerly done him a wrong. A
strange woman she was, he thought, but a strong one
and very honest. She had never hesitated in her life,
and had never regretted anything she had done—it was
written in her face even now. He did not understand
why she wished to see him often, for he could have supposed
that his mere presence must call up the most painful
memories. But he determined that if she remained
some time longer he would once or twice cross the river
and spend an hour with her. The remembrance of
to-day’s interview would make all subsequent meetings
seem pleasant by comparison.
The circumstances of the afternoon had wearied him,
and he was glad to find himself again in the midst of
more pleasant and familiar associations. In answer to
Totty’s inquiries as to how Grace looked and behaved
during his visit, he said very little. She looked very
ill, she behaved with great self-possession, and she had
wished to know some details about the accident. More
than that George would not say, and his imperturbable
face did not betray that there was anything more to be
said. In the evening he found himself alone with Mamie
on the verandah, Totty having gone within as usual, on
pretence of writing letters. The weather was still pleasant,
though it had grown much cooler, and Mamie had
thrown a soft white shawl over her shoulders, of which
George could see the outlines in the gloom.
“Tell me, what did she really do?” Mamie asked,
after a long silence.
George hesitated a moment. He was willing to tell
her many things which he would not have told her
mother, for he felt that she could understand them and
sympathise with them when Totty would only pretend
to do so.
“Why do you want to know?” he asked, by way of
giving himself more time to think.
“Is it not natural? I would like to know how a
woman acts when the man she loves is dead.”
305“Poor thing!” said George. “There is not much to
tell, but I would not have it known—do you understand?
She made me walk with her to the place where
it happened and go over the whole story. She never
said a word, though she looked like death. She suffers
terribly—so terribly that there is something grand
in it.”
“Poor Grace! I can understand. She wanted to
know all there was to be known. It is very natural.”
“Is it? It seemed strange to me. Even I did not
like to go near the place, and it was very hard to tell
her all about it—how poor Bond gripped my arm, and
then the grip after he was dead.”
He shuddered and was silent for a moment.
“I said it all as quickly and clearly as I could,” he
added presently. “She thanked me for telling her, and
for what I had done to save her husband. She said she
hoped I would come again sometimes, and then I left.”
“You did not see Constance, I suppose?”
“No. She did not appear. I fancy her sister told
her not to interrupt us and so she kept out of the way.
It was horribly sad—the whole thing. I could not
help thinking that if it had not been for you, the poor
creature would never have known how it happened. I
should not have been alive to tell the tale.”
“Are you glad that you were not drowned?” Mamie
asked in a rather constrained voice.
“For myself? I hardly know. I cannot tell whether
I set much value on life or not. Sometimes it seems to
be worth living, and sometimes I hardly care.”
“How can you say that, George!” exclaimed the
young girl indignantly. “You, so young and so successful.”
“Whether life is worth living or not—who knows?
It has been said to depend on climate and the affections.”
“The climate is not bad here—and as for the affections——”
Mamie broke off in a nervous laugh.
“No,” George said as though answering an unspoken
306reproach. “I do not mean that. I know that you are
all very fond of me and very good to me. But look at
poor John Bond. He always seemed to you to be an
uninteresting fellow, and I used to wonder why he found
life worth living. I know now. He was loved—loved
as I fancy very few men have ever been. If you could
have seen that poor woman’s face to-day, you would
understand what I mean.”
“I can understand without having seen it,” said Mamie
in a smothered voice.
“No,” said George, pursuing his train of thought,
tactless and manlike. “You cannot understand—nobody
can, who has not seen her. There is something
grand, magnificent, queenly in a sorrow like that, and it
shows what she felt for the man and what he knew she
felt. No wonder that he looked happy! Now I, if I
had been drowned the other day—if you had not saved
me—of course people would have been very sorry, but
there would have been no grief like that.”
He was silent. Then a sharp short sob broke the stillness,
and as he turned his head he saw that Mamie had
risen and was passing swiftly through the door into the
drawing-room. He rose to his feet and then stood still,
knowing that it was of no use to follow her.
“What a brute I am!” he thought as he sat down
again.
Several minutes passed. He could hear the sound of
subdued voices within, and then a door was opened and
closed. A moment later Totty came out and looked
about. She was dazzled by the light and could not see
him. He rose and went forward.
“Here I am,” he said.
She laid her hand upon his arm and looked at his face
as she spoke, very gently.
“George, dear—things cannot go on like this,” she
said.
“You are quite right, Totty,” he answered. “I will
go away to-morrow.”
307“Sit down,” said Totty. “Have you got one of those
cigars? Light it. I want to have a long talk with you.”
Totty Trimm had determined to bring matters to a
crisis.
CHAPTER XXII.
George felt that his heart was beating faster as he
prepared to hear what Totty had to say. He knew that
the moment had come for making a decision of some
sort, and he was annoyed that it should be thrust upon
him, especially by Totty Trimm. He could not be sure
of what she was about to say, but he supposed that it
was her intention to deliver him a lecture upon his conduct
towards Mamie, and to request him to make it clear
to the girl, either by words or by an immediate departure,
that he could never love her and much less marry her,
considering his relatively impecunious position. It
struck him that many women would have spoken in a
more severe tone of voice than his cousin used, but this
he attributed to her native good humour as much as to
her tact. He drew his chair nearer to hers, nearer than
it had been to Mamie’s, and prepared to listen.
“George, dear boy,” said Totty, “this is a very delicate
matter. I really hardly know how to begin, unless
you will help me.” A little laugh, half shy, half affectionate,
rippled pleasantly in the dusky air. Totty
meant to show from the first that she was not angry.
“About Mamie?” George suggested.
“Yes,” Totty answered with a quick change to the
intonation of sadness. “About Mamie. I am very
much troubled about her. Poor child! She is so unhappy—you
do not know.”
“I am sincerely sorry,” said George gravely. “I am
very fond of her.”
“Yes, I know you are. If things had not been precisely
308as they are——” She paused as though asking
his help.
“You would have been glad of it. I understand.”
George thought that she was referring to his want of
fortune, as she meant that he should think. She wanted
to depress him a little, in order to surprise him the more
afterwards.
“No, George dear. You do not understand. I mean
that if you loved her, instead of being merely fond of
her, it would be easier to speak of it.”
“To tell me to go away?” he asked, in some perplexity.
“No indeed! Do you think I am such a bad friend as
that? You must not be so unkind. Do you think I
would have begged you so hard to come and stay all
summer with us, that I would have left you so often
together——”
“You cannot mean that you wish me to marry her!”
George exclaimed in great astonishment.
“It would make me very happy,” said Totty gently.
“I am amazed!” exclaimed George. “I do not know
what to say—it seems so strange!”
“Does it? It seems so natural to me. Mamie is
always first in my mind—whatever can contribute to
her happiness in any way—and especially in such a
way as this——”
“And she?” George asked.
“She loves you, George—with all her heart.” Totty
touched his hand softly. “And she could not love a
man whom we should be more glad to see her marry,”
she added, putting into her voice all the friendly tenderness
she could command.
George let his head sink on his breast. Totty held
his hand a moment longer, gave it an infinitesimal
squeeze and then withdrew her own, sinking back into
her chair with a little sigh as though she had unburdened
her heart. For some seconds neither spoke again.
“Cousin Totty,” George said at last, “I believe you
309are the best friend I have in the world. I can never
thank you for all your disinterested kindness.”
Totty smiled sweetly in the dark, partly at the words
he used and partly at the hopes she founded upon them.
“It would be strange if I were not,” she said. “I
have many reasons for not being your enemy, at all
events. I have thought a great deal about you during
the last year. Will you let me speak quite frankly?”
“You have every right to say what you think,”
George answered gratefully. “You have taken me in
when I was in need of all the friendship and kindness
you have given me. You have made me a home, you
have given me back the power to work, which seemed
gone, you have——”
“No, no, George, do not talk of such wretched things.
There are hundreds of people who would be only too
proud and delighted to have George Winton Wood spend
a summer with them—yes, or marry their daughters.
You do not seem to realise that—a man of your character,
of your rising reputation—not to say celebrity—a
man of your qualities is a match for any girl. But
that is not what I meant to say. It is something much
harder to express, something about which I have never
talked to you, and never thought I should. Will you forgive
me, if I speak now? It is about Constance Fearing.”
George looked up quickly.
“Provided you say nothing unkind or unjust about
her,” he answered without hesitation.
“I?” ejaculated Totty in surprise. “Am I not so fond
of her, that I wanted you to marry her? I cannot say
more, I am sure. Constance is a noble-hearted girl, a
little too sensitive perhaps, but good beyond expression.
Yes, she is good. That is just the word. Scrupulous to
a degree! She has the most finely balanced conscience
I have ever known. Dr. Drinkwater—you know, our
dear rector in New York—says that there is no one who
does more for the poor, or who takes a greater interest
in the church, and that she consults him upon everything,
310upon every point of duty in her life—it is splendid,
you know. I never knew such a girl—and then, so
clever! A Lady Bountiful and a Countess Matilda in
one! Only—no, I am not going to say anything against
her, because there is simply nothing to be said—only I
really do not believe that she is the wife for you, dear
boy. I do not pretend to say why. There is some reason,
some subtle, undefinable reason why you would not
suit each other. I do not mean to say that she is
vacillating or irresolute. On the contrary, her sensitive
conscience is one of the great beauties of her character.
But I have always noticed that people who are long in
deciding anything irritate you. Is it not true? Of course
I cannot understand you, George, but I sometimes feel
what you think, almost as soon as you. That is not
exactly what I mean, but you understand. That is one
reason. There are others, no doubt. Do you know what
I think? I believe that Constance Fearing ought to
marry one of those splendid young clergymen one hears
about, who devote their lives to doing good, and to the
poor—and that kind of thing.”
“I daresay,” said George, as Totty paused. The idea
was new to him, but somehow it seemed very just. “At
all events,” he added, “she ought to marry a better man
than I am.”
“Not better—as good in a different way,” suggested
Totty. “An especially good man, rather than an especially
clever one.”
“I am not especially clever,” George answered. “I
have worked harder than most men and have succeeded
sooner. That is all.”
“Of course it is your duty to be modest about yourself.
We all have our opinions. Some people call that greatness—never
mind. The principle is the same. Tell me—you
admire her, and all that, but you do not honestly
believe that you and she are suited to each other, do
you?”
Totty managed her voice so well that she made the
311question seem natural, and not at all offensive. George
considered his reply for a moment before he spoke.
“I think you are right,” he said. “We are not suited
to each other.”
Totty breathed more freely, for the moment had been
a critical one.
“I was sure of it, though I used to wish it had been
otherwise. I used to hope that you would marry her,
until I knew you both better—until I saw there was
somebody else who was—well—in short, who loves you
better. You do not mind my saying it.”
“I am sorry if it is true——”
“Why should you be sorry? Could anything be more
natural? I should think that a man would be very glad
and very happy to find that he is dearly loved by a thoroughly
nice girl——”
“Yes, if——”
“No! I know what you are going to say. If he loves
her. My dear George, it is of no use to deny it. You
do love Mamie. Any one can see it, though she would
die rather than have me think that she believed it. I do
not say it is a romantic passion and all that. It is not.
You have outgrown that kind of thing, and you are far
too sensible, besides. But I do say that you are devotedly
attached to her, that you seek her society, that you show
how much you like to be alone with her—a thousand
things, that we can all see.”
“All” referred to Totty herself, of course, but George
was too much disturbed to notice the fact. He could
find nothing to say and Totty continued.
“Not that I blame you in the least. I ought to blame
myself for bringing you together. I should if I were not
so sure that it is the best thing for your happiness as
well as for Mamie’s. You two are made for each other,
positively made for each other. Mamie is not beautiful,
of course—if she were I would not give you a catalogue
of her advantages. She is not rich——”
“You forget that I have only my profession,” said
George, rather sharply.
312“But what a profession—besides if it came to that, we
should always wish our daughter to live as she has been
accustomed to live. That is not the question. She is not
beautiful and she is not rich, but you cannot deny it,
George, she has a charm of her own, a grace, a something
that a man will never be tired of because he can
never find out just what it is, nor just where it lies.
That is quite true, is it not?”
“Dear cousin Totty, I deny nothing——”
“No, of course not! You cannot deny that, at least—and
then, do you know? You have the very same thing
yourself, the something undefinable that a woman likes.
Has no one ever told you that?”
“No indeed!” exclaimed George, laughing a little in
spite of himself.
“I am quite serious,” said Totty. “Mamie and you
are made for each other. There can be no doubt about
it, any more than there can be about your loving each
other, each in your own way.”
“If it were in the same way——”
“It is not so different. I was thinking of it only the
other day. Suppose that several people were in danger
at once—in that dreadful river, for instance—you would
save her first.”
George glanced sharply at his cousin. The same idea
had crossed his own mind.
“How do you know that?” he asked.
“Is it not true?”
“Yes—I suppose it is. But I cannot imagine how
you guessed——”
“Do you think I am blind?” asked Totty, almost indignantly.
“Do you think Mamie does not know it as
well as I do? After all these months of devotion! You
must think me very dull—the only wonder is that you
should not yet have told her so.”
George wondered why she took it for granted that he
had not.
“What I should have to tell her would be very hard to
say, as it ought to be said,” he answered thoughtfully.
313Totty’s manner changed again and she turned her head
towards him, lowering her voice and speaking in a tone
of sincere sympathy.
“Oh, I know how hard it must be!” she said. “Most
of all for you. To say, ‘I love you,’ and then to add, ‘I
do not love you in the same way as I once loved another.’
But then, must one add that? Is it not self-evident?
Ah no! There is no love like the first, indeed
there is not!”
Totty sighed deeply, as though the recollection of some
long buried fondness were still dear, and sweet and painful.
“And yet, one does love,” she continued a little more
cheerfully. “One loves again, often more truly, if one
knew it, and more sincerely than the first time. It is
better so—the affection of later years is happier and
brighter and more lasting than that other. And it is love,
in the best sense of the word, believe me it is.”
If there had been the least false note of insincerity in
her voice, George would have detected it. But what
Totty attempted to do, she did well, with a consummate
appreciation of details and their value which would have
deceived a keener man than he. Moreover, he himself
was in great doubt. He was really so strongly attracted
by Mamie as to know that a feather’s weight would turn
the scale. But for the recollection of Constance he would
have loved her long ago with a love in which there might
have been more of real passion and less of illusion.
Mamie was in many ways a more real personage in his
appreciation than Constance. Totty had defined the difference
between the two very cleverly by what she had
said. The more he thought of it, the more ideal Constance
seemed to become.
But there was another element at work in his judgment.
He was obliged to confess that Totty was right
in another of her facts. During the long months of the
summer he had undoubtedly acted in a way to make ordinary
people believe that he loved Mamie. He had
314more than once shown that he resented Totty’s presence,
and Totty had taken the hint and had gone away, with a
readiness he only understood now. He had been very
much spoiled by her, but had never supposed that she
desired the marriage. It had been enough for him to
show that he wished to talk to Mamie without interruption
and he had been immediately humoured as he was
humoured in everything in that charming establishment.
Totty, however, and, of course, poor Mamie herself, had
put an especial construction upon all his slightest words
and gestures. To use the language of the world, he had
compromised the girl, and had made her believe that he
was to some extent in love with her, which was infinitely
worse. It was very kind of Totty to be so tactful and
diplomatic. Honest Sherry Trimm would have asked
him his intentions in two words and would have required
an answer in one, a mode of procedure which would have
been far less agreeable.
“You owe her something, George,” Totty said after a
long pause. “She saved your life. You must not break
her heart—it would be a poor return.”
“God forbid! Totty, do you think seriously that I
have acted in a way to make Mamie believe I love
her?”
“I am sure you have—she knew it long ago. You
need hardly tell her, she is so sure of it.”
“I am very glad,” George answered. “What will
cousin Sherry say to this?”
“Oh, George! How can you ask? You know how
fond he is of you—he will be as glad as I if——”
“There shall be no ‘ifs,’” George interrupted. “I
will ask Mamie to-morrow.”
He had made up his mind, for he detested uncertainties
of all sorts. He felt that however he might compare
Mamie with Constance, he was on the verge of some sort
of passion for the former, whereas the latter represented
something never to be realised, something which, even
if offered him now, he could not accept without misgivings
315and doubts. Since he had made Mamie believe that
he loved her, no matter how unintentionally the result
had been produced, and since he felt that he could love
her in return, and be faithful to her, and, lastly, since
her father and mother believed that the happiness of her
life depended upon him, it seemed most honourable to
disappoint no one, and if it turned out that he was
making a sacrifice he would keep it to himself throughout
his natural life.
Totty held her breath for a moment after he had made
his statement, fearing lest she should utter some involuntary
exclamation of delight, too great even for the
occasion. Then she rose and came to his side, laid her
hands upon his shoulders and touched his dark forehead
with her salmon-coloured lips. George remembered that
a humming-bird had once brushed his face with its wings,
and the one sensation reminded him of the other.
“God bless you, my dear son!” said Totty in accents
that would have carried the conviction of sincerity to an
angel’s heart.
George pressed her hand warmly, but with an odd
feeling that the action was not spontaneous. He felt as
though he were doing something that was expected of
him, and was doing it as well as he could, without enthusiasm.
He looked up in the gloom and felt that
something warm fell upon his face.
“Why, cousin Totty, you are crying!” he exclaimed.
“Happy tears,” answered Mrs. Sherrington Trimm in
a voice trembling with emotion. Then she turned and
swiftly entered the drawing-room, leaving him alone in
the verandah in the darkness.
“So the die is cast, and I am to marry Mamie,” he
thought, as soon as she was gone.
In the first moments it was hard to realise that he had
bound himself by an engagement from which he could
not draw back, and that so soon after he had broken with
Constance Fearing. Five months had not gone by since
the first of May, since he had believed that his life was
316ruined and his heart broken. What had there been in
his love for Constance which had made it unreal from
first to last, real only in the moment of disappointment?
He found no answer to the question, and he thought of
Mamie, his future wife. Yes, Totty was right. So far
as it was possible to judge they were suited to each
other in all respects except in his own lack of fortune.
“Suited” was the very word. He would never feel what
he had felt for the other, the tenderness, the devotion,
the dependence on her words for his daily happiness—he
might own it now, the sweet fear of hurting her or offending
her, which he had only half understood. Constance
had dominated him during their intercourse, and until he
had seen her real weakness. With Mamie it would be
different. She clung to him, not he to her. She looked
up to him as a superior, he could never worship her as
an idol. He was to occupy the shrine henceforth and he
was to play the god and smile upon her when she offered
incense. There could not be two images in two shrines,
smiling and burning perfumes at each other. George
smiled at the idea. But there was to be something else,
something he had only lately begun to know. He was to
be devotedly loved by some one, tenderly thought of,
tenderly treated by one who now, at least, held the first
place in his heart. That was very different from what
he had hitherto received, the perpetual denial of love,
the repeated assurances of friendship. He thought of
that wonderful expression which he had seen two or
three times on Mamie’s face, and he was happy. There
was nothing he would not do, nothing he would not
sacrifice for the sake of receiving such love as that.
He slept peacefully through the night, undisturbed by
visions of future trouble or dreams of coming disappointment.
Nor had his mood changed when he awoke in the
morning and gazed through the open windows at the
trees beyond the river, where Constance’s house was
hidden. Would Constance be sorry to hear the news?
Probably not. She would meet him with renewed offers
317of eternal friendship, and would in all probability come
to the wedding. She had never felt anything for him.
His lip curled scornfully as he turned away.
Early in the morning Totty entered her daughter’s
room. There was nothing extraordinary in the visit, and
Mamie, who was doing her hair, did not look round,
though she greeted her mother with a word of welcome.
Totty kissed her with unwonted tenderness, even considering
that she was usually demonstrative in her
affections.
“Dear child,” she said, “I just came in to see how you
had slept. You need not go away,” she added, addressing
the maid. “You are a little pale, Mamie. But then
you always are and it is becoming to you. What shall
you wear to-day? It is very warm again—you might
put on white, almost.”
“Why, she is in mourning of course,” said Mrs. Trimm
with some solemnity.
“Is she? For her brother-in-law? Well, she always
did, which is the same thing, exactly. She had on a
white frock on the day of the accident. I can see her
now!”
“Oh then, by all means wear something else,” said
Totty with alacrity. “You might try that striped flannel
costume—or the skirt with a blouse, you know.
That is new.”
“No,” said Mamie with great decision. “I do not
believe it is warm at all and I mean to wear my blue
serge.”
“Well,” answered Mrs. Trimm, “perhaps it is the
most becoming thing you have.”
“Positively, mamma, I have not a thing to wear!”
exclaimed Mamie, by sheer force of habit.
“I am sure I have not,” answered her mother with a
laugh.
“Oh you, mamma! You have lots of things.”
318Totty did not go away until she had assured herself
that Mamie was at her best. She knew that it would
have been folly to give the girl any warning of what was
about to take place, and she was aware that Mamie’s
taste in dress was even better than her own, but she had
been unable to resist the desire to see her and to go over
in her own heart the circumstances of her triumph. She
knew also that Mamie would never forgive her if she
should discover that her mother had known of George’s
intention before George had communicated it to herself,
but it seemed very hard to be obliged to wait even a few
hours before showing her intense satisfaction at the
result of her diplomacy.
During breakfast she was unusually cheerful and talkative,
whereas George was exceptionally silent and spoke
with an evident effort. Mamie herself had to some
extent recovered her spirits, though she was very much
ashamed of having made such an exhibition of her
feelings on the previous evening. She offered a lame
explanation, saying that she had felt suddenly cold and
had run up to her room to get something warmer to put
on; seeing it was so late, she had not thought it worth
while to come down again. Then she changed the subject
as quickly as she could and was admirably seconded
by her mother in her efforts to make conversation.
George’s face betrayed nothing. It was impossible to
say whether he believed her story or not.
“I suppose you are going to work all the morning,”
observed Mrs. Trimm as they rose from the table.
“I am not sure,” George answered, looking steadily at
her for a second. “At all events I will have a turn in
the garden before I set to. Will you come, Mamie?”
he asked, turning to his cousin.
For some minutes they walked away from the house in
silence. George was embarrassed and had not made up
his mind what he should say. He did not look at his
cousin’s face, but as he glanced down before him he was
conscious of her graceful movement at his side. Perfect
319motion had always had an especial charm for him, and at
the present moment he was glad to be charmed. Presently
they found themselves in a shady place beneath
certain old trees, out of sight of the garden. George
stopped suddenly, and Mamie stopping also, looked at
him in some little surprise.
“Mamie,” he said, in the best voice he could find, “do
you love me?”
“Better than anything in the world,” answered the
young girl. Her lips grew slowly white and there was
a startled look in her fearless grey eyes.
“You saved my life. Will you take it—and keep
it?”
He looked to her for an answer. A supreme joy came
into her face, then shivered like a broken mirror under
a blow, and gave way to an agonised fear.
“Oh, do not laugh at me!” she cried, in broken and
beseeching tones.
“Laugh at you, dear? God forbid! I am asking you
to be my wife.”
“Oh no! It is not true—you do not love me—it
never can be true!” But as she spoke, the day of happiness
dawned again in her eyes—as a summer sun rising
through a sweet shower of raindrops—and broke
and flooded all her face with gladness.
“I love you, and it is quite true,” he answered.
The girl had for months concealed the great passion of
her life as well as she could; she had borne, with all
the patience she could command, the daily bitter disappointment
of finding him always the same towards her;
she had suffered much and had hidden her sufferings
bravely, but the sudden happiness was more than she
could control. As he held her in his arms, he felt her
weight suddenly as though she had fallen, and he saw
her eyelids droop and her long straight lips part slowly
over her gleaming teeth. She was not beautiful, and he
knew it as he looked at her white unconscious face.
But she loved him as he had never been loved before, and
320in that moment he loved her also. Supporting her with
one arm, he held up her head with his other hand and
kissed her again and again, with a passion he had never
felt. Very slowly the colour returned to her lips, and
then her eyes opened. There was no surprise in them,
for she was hardly conscious that she had fainted.
“Have I been long so?” she asked faintly as the look
of life and joy came back.
“Only a moment, darling,” he answered.
“And it is to be so for ever—oh, it is too much, too
good, too great. How can I believe so much in one
day?”
It was long before they turned back again towards the
house. The sun rose higher and higher, and the winnowed
light fell upon them through the leaves reddened
by the autumn colours that were already spreading over
the woods, from tree to tree, from branch to branch, from
leaf to leaf, like one long sunset lasting many days.
But they sat side by side not heeding the climbing sun
nor the march of the noiseless hours. Their soft voices
mingled lovingly with each other and with the murmur
of the scarcely stirring breeze. Very reluctantly they
rose at last to return, their arms twined about each other
until they saw the gables of the house rising above them
out of the rich mass of red, and orange, and yellow, and
brown, and green that crowned the maples, the oaks and
the sycamores. One last long kiss under the shade,
and they were out upon the hard brown earth of the
drive, in sight of the windows, walking civilly side by
side with the distance of half a pace between them.
Totty, the discreet, had watched for them until she had
caught a glimpse of their figures through the shrubbery
and had then retired within to await the joyful news.
Mamie disappeared as soon as they entered the house,
glad to be alone if she could not be with the man she
loved. But George went straight to her mother in the
little morning-room where she generally sat. She looked
up from her writing, as though she had been long
321absorbed in it, then suddenly smiled and held out her
hand. George pressed it with more sincerity than he
had been able to find for the same demonstration of
friendliness on the previous evening.
“I am very glad I took your advice,” he said. “I am
a very happy man. Mamie has accepted me.”
“Has she taken the whole morning to make up her
mind about so simple a matter?” asked Totty archly.
“Well, not all the morning,” George answered. “We
had one or two ideas to exchange afterwards. Totty—no,
I cannot call my mother-in-law Totty, it is too
absurd! Cousin Charlotte—will that do? Very well,
cousin Charlotte, you must telegraph for Sherry’s—I beg
his pardon, for Mr. Trimm’s consent. Where is he?”
“Here—see for yourself,” said Totty holding up to
his eyes a sheet of paper on which was written a short
cable.
“Trimm. Carlsbad, Bohemia. Mamie engaged George
Wood. Wire consent. Totty.”
“You see how sure I was of her. I wrote this while
you were out there—it is true, you gave me time.”
“Sure of her, and of your husband,” said George, surprised
by the form of the message.
“Oh, I have no doubts about him,” answered Mrs.
Trimm with a light laugh. “He thinks you are perfection,
you know.”
The reply came late that night, short, sharp and business-like.
“Fix wedding-day. Returning. Sherry.”
It was read by Totty with a sort of delirious scream
of triumph, the first genuine expression she had permitted
herself since her efforts had been crowned with
success.
“It is too good to be believed,” said Mamie aloud, as
she laid her head on the pillow.
“I would never have believed it,” said George thoughtfully,
as he turned from his open window where he had
been standing an hour.
CHAPTER XXIII.
322
“We had better say nothing about it for the present,”
said Totty to George on the following day. “It will
only cause complications, and it will be much easier
when we are all in town.”
The two were seated together in the little morning-room,
discussing the future and telling over what had
happened. George was in a frame of mind which he
did not recognise, and he seemed laughable in his own
eyes, though he was far from being unhappy. His surprise
at the turn events had taken had not yet worn off
and he could not help being amused at himself for having
known his own mind so little. At the same time he
was grateful to Totty for the part she had played and
was ready to yield to all her wishes in the matter. With
regard to announcing the engagement, she told him that
it was quite unnecessary to do so yet, and that, among
other reasons, it would be better in the eyes of the world
to publish the social banns after Sherrington had returned
from abroad. Moreover, if the engagement were made
known at once, it would be in accordance with custom
that George should leave the house and find a lodging in
the nearest town.
“I cannot tell why, I am sure,” said Mrs. Trimm,
“but it is always done, and I should be so sorry if you
had to leave us just now.”
“It would not be pleasant,” George answered, thoughtfully.
He had wished to inform Constance as soon as
possible.
So the matter was decided, somewhat to his dissatisfaction
in one respect, but quite in accordance with his
inclinations in all others. And it was thereupon further
agreed that as soon as the weather permitted, they would
all return to town, and make active preparations for the
wedding. Totty could see no reason whatever why the
323day should not be fixed early in November. She declared
emphatically that she hated long engagements,
and that in this case especially there could be no object
in putting off the marriage. She assured Mamie that
by using a little energy everything could be made ready
in plenty of time, and she promised that there should be
no hitch in the proceedings.
The week that followed the events last narrated
slipped pleasantly and quickly away. As George had
said at once, he was a very happy man; that is to say,
he believed himself to be so, because the position in
which he found himself was new, agreeable and highly
flattering to his vanity. He could not but believe that he
was taken into the family of his cousin solely on his own
merits. Being in total ignorance of the fortune between
which and himself the only barrier was the enfeebled
health of an invalid old man, he very naturally attributed
Totty’s anxiety to see him marry her daughter to
the causes she enumerated. He was still modest enough
to feel that he was being very much overrated, and to
fear lest he might some day prove a disappointment to
his future wife and her family; for the part of the
desirable young man was new to him, and he did not
know how he should acquit himself in the performance
of it. But the delicious belief that he was loved for
himself, as he was, gave energy to his good resolutions
and maintained at a genial warmth the feelings he entertained
for her who loved him.
He must not be judged too harshly. In offering to
marry Mamie, he had felt that he was doing his duty as
an honourable man, and he assured himself as well as he
could that he was able to promise the most sincere affection
and unchanging fidelity in return for her passionate
love. It was in one respect a sacrifice, for it meant that
he must act in contradiction to the convictions of his
whole life. He had always believed in love, and he had
frequently preached that true and mutual passion was
the only foundation for lasting happiness in marriage.
324At the moment of acceding to Mrs. Trimm’s very
clearly expressed proposal, George had felt that Mamie
would be to him hereafter what she had always been
hitherto, neither more nor less. He did not wish to
marry her, and if he agreed to do so, it was because he
was assured that her happiness depended upon it, and
that he had made himself responsible for her happiness
by his conduct towards her. Being once persuaded of
this, and assured that he alone had done the mischief,
he was chivalrous enough to have married the girl,
though she had been ugly, ill-educated and poor, instead
of being rich, refined and full of charm, and to all outward
appearances he would have married her with as
good a grace and would have behaved towards her afterwards
with as much consideration as though he had
loved her. But the fact that Mamie possessed so many
real and undeniable graces and advantages had made the
sacrifice seem singularly easy, and the twenty-four hours
that succeeded the moment of forming the resolution,
had sufficed to destroy the idea of sacrifice altogether.
Hitherto, George had fought against the belief that he
was loved, and had done his best to laugh at it. Now,
he was at liberty to accept that belief and to make it one
of the chief pleasures of his thoughts. It flattered his
heart, as Totty’s professed appreciation of his fine qualities
flattered his intelligence. In noble natures flattery
produces a strong desire to acquit the debt which seems
to be created by the acceptance of undue praise. Men
of such temper do not like to receive and give nothing in
return, nor can they bear to be thought braver, more
generous or more gifted than they are. Possessing that
high form of self-esteem which is honourable pride, they
feel all the necessity of being in their own eyes worthy
of the estimation they enjoy in the opinion of other men.
The hatred of all false positions is strong in them and
they are not quick to believe that they are justly valued
by the world.
George found it easy to imagine that he loved the
325young girl, when he had once admitted the fact that she
loved him. It was indeed the pleasantest deception he
had ever submitted to, or encouraged himself in accepting.
He hid from himself the fact that his heart had
never been satisfied, considering that it was better to
take the realities of a brilliant future than to waste time
and sentiment in dreaming of illusions. There was
nothing to be gained by weighing the undeveloped capabilities
of his affections against the manifestations of
them which had hitherto been thrust upon his notice.
He was doing what he believed to be best for every one
as well as for himself, and no good could come of a
hypercriticism of his sensibilities. Mamie was supremely
happy, and it was pleasant to feel that he was at once
the cause and the central figure in her happiness. The
course of true love should run pleasantly for her at least,
and its course would not be hard for him to follow.
A fortnight passed before he thought of fulfilling his
promise and visiting Grace. The attraction was not
great, but he felt a certain curiosity to know how she
was recovering from the shock she had sustained. Once
more he crossed the river and walked up the long avenue
to the old house. As he was passing through the garden
he unexpectedly came upon Constance, who was wandering
idly through the deserted walks.
“It is so long since we have met!” she exclaimed,
with an intonation of gladness, as she put out her hand.
“Yes,” George answered. “I came once to see your
sister, but you were not with her. How is she?”
“She is well—as well as any one could expect. I
have tried to persuade her to go away, but she will not,
though I am sure it is bad for her to stay here.”
“But you cannot stay for ever. It is already autumn—it
will soon be winter.”
“I cannot tell,” Constance answered indifferently
enough. “I confess that I care very little whether we
pass the winter here or in town, provided Grace is contented.”
326“You ought to consider yourself to some extent. You
look tired, and you must weary of all this sadness and
dismal solitude. It stands to reason that you should
need a change.”
“No change would make any difference to me,” said
Constance, walking slowly along the path and swinging
her parasol slowly from side to side.
“Do you mean that you are ill?” George asked.
“No indeed! I am never really ill. But it is a waste
of breath to talk of such things. Come into the house.
Grace will be so glad to see you; she has been anticipating
your visit for a long time.”
“Presently,” said George. “The afternoons are still
long and it is pleasant here in the garden.”
“Do you want to talk to me?” asked the young girl,
with the slightest intonation of irony.
“I wish to tell you something—something that will
surprise you.”
“I am not easily surprised. Is it about yourself?”
“Yes—it is not announced yet, but I want you to
know it. You will tell no one, of course. I am going to
be married.”
“Indeed!” exclaimed Constance, with a slight start.
“Yes. I am sure you will be glad to hear it. I am
engaged to be married to my cousin, Mamie Trimm.”
Constance was looking so ill, already, that it could not
be said that she turned pale at the announcement. She
walked quietly on, gazing before her steadily at some distant
object.
“It is rather sudden, I suppose,” said George in a tone
that sounded unpleasantly apologetic in his own ears.
“Rather,” Constance answered with an effort. “I
confess that I am astonished. You have my best congratulations.”
She paused, and reflected that her words were very
cold. She felt an odd chill in herself as well as in her
language, and tried to shake it off.
“If you are happy, I am very glad,” she said. “It
was not what I expected, but I am very glad.”
327“Thanks. But, Constance, what did you expect—something
very different? Why?”
“Nothing—nothing—it is very natural, of course.
When are you to be married?” All the coldness had
returned to her voice as she put the question.
“I believe it is to be in November. It will certainly
be before Christmas. Mr. Trimm is expected to-morrow
or the next day. He cabled his consent.”
“Yes? Well, I am glad it has all gone so smoothly. I
feel cold—is it not chilly here? Let us go in and find
Grace.”
She began to walk more quickly and in a few moments
they reached the house, not having exchanged any further
words. As they entered the door she stopped and
turned to her companion.
“Grace is in the drawing-room,” she said. “She wants
to see you alone—so, good-bye. I hope with all my
heart that you will be happy—my dear friend. Good-bye.”
She turned and left him standing in the great hall.
He watched her retreating figure as she entered the
staircase which led away to the right. He had expected
something different in her reception of the news, and did
not know whether to feel disappointed or not. She had
received the announcement with very great calmness, so
far as he could judge. That at least was a satisfaction.
He did not wish to have his equanimity disturbed at
present by any great exhibition of feeling on the part of
any one but himself. As he opened the door before him
he wondered whether Constance were really glad or sorry
to learn that he was to be married.
Grace rose and came towards him. He could not help
thinking that she looked like a beautiful figure of fate
as she stood in the middle of the room and held out her
hand to take his. She seemed taller and more imposing
since her husband’s death and there was something interesting
in her face which had not been there in old
times, a look of greater strength, combined with a profound
328sadness, which would have attracted the attention
of any student of humanity.
“I am very glad to see you—it is so good of you to
come,” she said.
“I could not do less, since I had promised—even
apart from the pleasure it gives me to see you. I met
your sister in the garden. She told me she hoped that
you would be induced to go away for a time.”
Grace shook her head.
“Why should I go away?” she asked. “I am less
unhappy here than I should be anywhere else. There is
nothing to take me to any other place. Why not stay
here?”
“It would be better for you both. Your sister is not
looking well. Indeed I was shocked by the change in
her.”
“Really? Poor child! It is not gay for her. I am
very poor company. You thought she was changed,
then?”
“Very much,” George answered, thoughtfully.
“And it is a long time since you have seen her. Poor
Constance! It will end in my going away for her sake
rather than my own. I wonder what would be best for
her, after all.”
“A journey—a change of some sort,” George suggested.
He found it very hard to talk with the heartbroken
young widow, though he could not help admiring
her, and wondering how long it would be before she took
another husband.
“No,” Grace answered. “That is not all. She is unsettled,
uncertain in all she does. If she goes on in this
way she will turn into one of those morbid, introspective
women who do nothing but imagine that they have committed
great sins and are never satisfied with their own
repentance.”
“She is too sensible for that——”
“No, she is not sensible, where her conscience is concerned.
I wish some one would come and take her out
329of herself—some one strong, enthusiastic, who would
shake her mind and heart free of all this nonsense.”
“In other words,” said George with a smile, “you
wish that your sister would marry.”
“Yes, if she would marry the right man—a man like
you.”
“Like me!” George exclaimed in great surprise.
“Yes—since I have said it. I did not mean to tell
you so. I wish she would marry you after all. You will
say that I am capricious and you will laugh at the way
in which I have changed my mind. I admit it. I made
a mistake. I misjudged you. If it were all to be lived
over again, instead of paying no attention to what happened,
as I did during the last year, I would make her
marry you. It would have been much better. I made a
great mistake in letting her alone.”
“I had never expected to hear you say that,” said
George, looking into her brown eyes and trying to read
her thoughts.
“I am not given to talking about myself, as you may
have noticed, but I once told you that my only virtue was
honesty. What I think, I say, if there is any need of
saying anything. I told you that I never hated you,
and it is quite true. I disliked you and I did not want
you for a brother-in-law. In the old days, more than a
year ago, Constance and I used to quarrel about you.
She admired everything you did, and I saw no reason to
do so. That was before you published your first book,
when you used to write so many articles in the magazines.
She thought them all perfection, and I thought
some of them were trash and I said so. I daresay you
think it is not very complimentary of me to tell you
what I think and thought. Perhaps it is not. There is
no reason why I should make compliments after what I
have said. You have written much that I have liked
since, and you have made a name for yourself. My
judgment may be worthless, but those who can judge
have told me that some things you have done will live.
330But that is not the reason why I have changed my mind
about you. If you were still writing those absurd little
notices in the papers, I should think just as well of you,
yourself, as I do now. You are not what I thought you
were—a clever, rather weak, vain creature without the
strength of being enthusiastic, nor the courage to be
cynical. That is exactly what I thought. You will forgive
me if I tell you so frankly, will you not? I found
out that you are strong, brave and honourable. I do not
expect that you will ever think again of marrying my
sister, but if you do I shall be glad, and if you do not,
I shall always be sorry that I did not use all my influence
in making Constance accept you. That is a long
speech, but every word of it is true, and I am glad I
have told you just what I think.”
George was silent for some seconds. There were assuredly
many people in the world from whom he would
have resented such an exposition of opinion in regard to
himself. But Grace was not one of these. He respected
her judgment in a way he could not explain, and he felt
that all she had said confirmed his own ideas about her
character.
“I am glad you have told me,” he answered at length.
“I have changed my mind about you, too. I used to feel
that you were the opposing barrier between your sister
and me, and that but for you we should have been happily
married long ago. I hated you accordingly, with a
fine unreasoning hatred. You were very frank with me
when you came to give me her decision. I believed you
at the moment, but when I was out of the house I began
to think that you had arranged the whole thing between
you, and that you were the moving power. It was
natural enough, but my common sense told me that I
was wrong within a month of the time. I have liked
your frankness, in my heart, all along. It has been the
best thing in the whole business.”
“You and I understand each other,” said Grace, leaning
back in her seat and watching his dark face from
331beneath her heavy, drooping lids. “It is strange. I
never thought we should, and until lately I never thought
it would be pleasant if we did.”
George was struck by the familiarity of her tone. She
had always been the person of all others who had treated
him with the most distant civility, and whose phrases in
speaking with him had been the coldest and the most
carefully chosen. He had formerly wondered how her
voice would sound if she were suddenly to say something
friendly.
“You are very good,” he answered presently. “With
regard to the rest—to what you have said about your
sister. I have done my best to put the past out of my
mind, and I have succeeded. When I met her in the
garden just now, I told her what has happened in my
life. I am to be married very soon. I did not mean to
tell any one but Miss Fearing until it was announced
publicly, but I cannot help telling you, after what you
have said. I am going to marry my cousin in two
months.”
Grace did not change her position nor open her eyes
any wider. She had expected to hear the news before long.
“Yes,” she said, “I thought that would happen. I
am very glad to hear it. Mamie is thorough and will
suit you much better than Constance ever could. I wish
that Constance were half as natural and enthusiastic and
sensible. She has so much, but she has not that.”
“No enthusiasm?” asked George, remembering how
he had lived upon her appreciation of his work.
“No. She has changed very much since you used to
see her every day. You had a good influence over her,
you stirred her mind, though you did not succeed in stirring
her heart enough. She cares for nothing now, she
never talks, never reads, never does anything but write
long letters to Dr. Drinkwater about her poor people—or
her soul, I do not quite know which. No, you need not
look grave, I am not abusing her. Poor child, I wish I
could do anything to make her forget that same soul of
332hers, and those eternal hospitals and charities! Your
energy did her good. It roused her and made her think.
She has a heart somewhere, I suppose, and she has plenty
of head, but she smothers them both with her soul.”
“She will get over that,” said George. “She will outgrow
it. It is only a phase.”
“She will never get over it, until she is married,”
Grace answered in a tone of conviction.
“It is very strange. You talk now as if you were her
mother instead of being her younger sister.”
“Her younger sister!” Grace exclaimed with a sigh.
“I am a hundred years older than Constance. Older in
everything, in knowing the meanings of the two great
words—happiness and suffering.”
“Indeed, you may say that,” George answered in a low
voice.
“I sometimes think that they are the only two words
that have any meaning left for me, or that should mean
anything to the rest of the world.”
The settled look of pain deepened upon her face as she
spoke, not distorting nor changing the pure outlines, but
lending them something solemn and noble that was almost
grand. George looked at her with a sort of awe, and the
great question of the meaning of all life and death rose
before him, as he remembered her husband’s death grip
upon his arm, and the moment when he himself had
breathed in the cool water and given up the struggle.
He had opened his eyes again to this world to see all
that was to result of pain and suffering from the death
of the other, whose sight had gone out for ever. They
had been together in the depths. The one had been
drowned and had taken with him the happiness of the
woman he had loved. The other, he himself, had been
saved and another woman’s life had been filled with sunshine.
Why the one, rather than the other? He, who
had always faced life as he had found it, and fought with
whatever opposed him, asked himself whether there were
any meaning in it all. Why should those two great
333things, happiness and suffering, be so unevenly distributed?
Was poor John Bond a loss to humanity in
the aggregate? Not a serious one. Did he, George Wood,
care whether John Bond were alive or dead, beyond the
decent regret he felt, or ought to feel? No, assuredly
not. Would Constance have cared, if he had not chanced
to be her sister’s husband, did Totty care, did Mamie
care? No. They were all shocked, which is to say that
their nerves, including his own, had been painfully
agitated. And yet this man, John Bond, for whom nobody
cared, but whom every one respected, had left
behind him in one heart a grief that was almost awe-inspiring,
a sorrow that sought no expression, and
despised words, that painted its own image on the
woman’s face and spread its own solemn atmosphere
about her. A keen, cool, sharp-witted young lawyer, by
the simple act of departing this world, had converted a
pretty and very sensible young woman into a tragic muse,
had lent her grandeur of mien, had rendered her imposing,
had given her a dignity that momentarily placed her
higher than other women in the scale of womanhood.
Which was the real self? The self that was gone, or the
one that remained? Had a great sorrow given the
woman a fictitious importance, or had it revealed something
noble in her which no one had known before?
Whichever were true, Grace was no longer the Grace
Fearing of old, and George felt a strange admiration for
her growing up within him.
“You are right, I think,” he said after a long pause.
“Happiness and suffering are the only words that have
or ought to have any meaning. The rest—it is all a
matter of opinion, of taste, of fashion, of anything you
please excepting the heart.”
“Constance will tell you that right and wrong are the
two important words,” said Grace. “And she will tell
you that real happiness consists in being able to distinguish
between the two, and that the only suffering lies
in confounding the wrong with the right.”
334“Does religion mean that we are to feel nothing?”
George asked.
“That is what the religion of people who have never
felt anything seems to mean. Pay no attention to your
sorrows and distrust all your joys, because they are of no
importance compared with the welfare of your soul. It
matters not who lives or who dies, who is married, or
who is betrayed, provided you take care of your soul, of
your miserable, worthless, selfish little soul and bring
it safe to heaven!”
“That must be an odd sort of religion,” said George.
“It is the religion of those who cannot feel. It is
good enough for them. I do not know why I am talking
in this way, except that it is a relief to be able to talk
to some one who understands. When are you to be
married?”
“I hope it may be in November.”
“By-the-bye, what will Mr. Craik think of the marriage?
He ought to do something for Mamie, I suppose.”
“Mr. Craik is my own familiar enemy,” said George.
“I never take into consideration what he is likely to do
or to leave undone. He will do what seems right in his
own eyes, and that will very probably seem wrong in the
eyes of others.”
“Mrs. Trimm doubtless knows best what can be done
with him. What did Constance say, when you told her
of your engagement?”
“Very little. What she will say to you, I have no
doubt. That she hopes I shall be happy and is very glad
to hear of the marriage.”
“I wonder whether she cares,” said Grace thoughtfully.
George thought it would be more discreet to say
nothing than to give his own opinion in the matter.
“No one can tell,” Grace continued. “Least of all,
herself. I have once or twice thought that she regretted
you and wished you would propose again. And then, at
other times, I have felt sure that she was only bored—bored
335to death with me, with her surroundings, with
Dr. Drinkwater, the poor and her soul. Poor child, I
hope she will marry soon!”
“I hope so,” said George as he rose to leave. “Will
you be kind enough not to say anything about the
engagement until it is announced? That will be in a
fortnight or so.”
“Certainly. Come and see me when it is out, unless
you will come sooner. It is so good of you. Good-bye.”
He left the house and walked down the garden in the
direction of the trees, thinking very much more of Grace
and of her conversation than of Constance. Apart from
her appearance, which had a novel interest for him, and
which excited his sympathy, he hardly knew whether he
had been attracted or repelled by her uncommon frankness
of speech. There was something in it which he
did not recognise as having belonged to her before in the
same degree, something more like masculine bluntness
than feminine honesty. It seemed as though she had
caught and kept something of her dead husband’s manner.
He wondered whether she spoke as she did in
order to remind herself of him by using words that had
been familiar in his mouth. He was engaged in these
reflections when he was surprised to meet Constance
face to face as he turned a corner in the path.
“I thought you were indoors,” he said, glancing at her
face as though expecting to see some signs of recent
distress there.
But if Constance had shed tears she had successfully
effaced all traces of them, and her features were calm
and composed. The truth of the matter was that she
feared lest she had betrayed too much feeling in the
interview in the garden, and now, to do away with any
mistaken impression in George’s mind, she had resolved
to show herself to him again.
“Are you in your boat?” she asked. “I thought that
as it was rather chilly, and if you did not mind, I would
ask you to row me out for ten minutes in the sun. Do
you mind very much?”
336“I shall be delighted,” said George, wondering what
new development of circumstances had announced itself
in her sudden desire for boating.
A few minutes later she was seated in the stern and
he was rowing her leisurely up stream. To his surprise,
she talked easily, touching upon all sorts of subjects and
asking him questions about his book in her old, familiar
way, but never referring in any way to the past, nor to
his engagement, until at her own request he had brought
her back to the landing. She insisted upon his letting
her walk to the house alone.
“Good-bye,” she said, “and so many thanks. I am
quite warm now—and I am very, very glad about the
engagement and grateful to you for telling me. I hope
you will ask me to the wedding!”
“Of course,” George answered imperturbably and then,
as he pulled out into the stream he watched her slight
figure as she followed the winding path that led up from
the landing to the level of the grounds above. When
she had reached the top, she waved her hand to him and
smiled.
“I would not have him think that I cared—not for
the whole world!” she was saying to herself as she made
the friendly signal and turned away.
CHAPTER XXIV.
Sherrington Trimm arrived on the following afternoon,
rosier and fresher than ever, and considerably
reduced in weight. After the first general and affectionate
greeting he proceeded to interview each member of
the family in private, as though he were getting up
evidence for a case. It was characteristic of him that
he spoke to Mamie first. The most important point in
his estimation was to ascertain whether the girl were
337really in love, or whether she had only contracted a
passing attachment for George Wood. Knowing all that
he did, and all that he supposed was unknown to his
wife, he could not but regard the match with complacency,
so far as worldly advantages were concerned.
But if he had been once assured that his daughter’s
happiness was really at stake, he would have given her
as readily to George, the comparatively impecunious
author, as to Mr. Winton Wood, the future millionaire.
“Now, Mamie,” he said, linking his arm in hers and
leading her into the garden, “now, Mamie, tell us all
about it.”
Mamie blushed faintly and gave her father a shy
glance, and then looked down.
“There is not much to tell,” she answered. “I love
him, and I am very happy. Is not that enough?”
“You are quite sure of yourself, eh?” Mr. Trimm
looked sharply at her face. “And how long has this
been going on?”
“All my life—though—well, how can I explain,
papa? You ought to understand. One finds out such
things all at once, and then one knows that they have
always been there.”
“I suppose so,” said Sherry. “You did not know that
‘it,’ as you call it, was there when I went away.”
“Oh yes, I did.”
“Well, did you know it a year ago?”
“No, perhaps not. Oh, papa, this is like twenty
questions.” Mamie laughed happily.
“Is it? Never played the game—cannot say. And
you have no doubts about him, have you?”
“How can anybody doubt him!” Mamie exclaimed
indignantly.
“It is my business to doubt,” said Sherry Trimm with
a twinkle in his eye. “’I am the doubter and the doubt’—never
knew what it meant till to-day.”
“Then go away, papa!” laughed the young girl.
“And let George have a chance. I suppose that is
338what you mean. On the whole, perhaps I could do
nothing better. But I will just see whether he has any
doubts, and finish my cigar with him.”
Thereupon Sherrington Trimm turned sharply on his
heel and went in search of George. He found him standing
on the verandah pensively examining a trail of ants
that were busily establishing communication between
the garden walk and a tiny fragment of sponge cake
which had fallen upon the step during afternoon tea.
“George,” said Sherry in business-like tones, through
which, however, the man’s kindly good nature was
clearly appreciable, “do you mind telling me in a few
words why you want to marry my daughter?”
George turned his head, and there was a pleasant smile
upon his face. Then he pointed to the trail of ants.
“Mr. Sherrington Trimm,” he said, “do you mind
explaining to me very briefly why those ants are so particularly
anxious to get at that piece of cake?”
“Like it, I suppose,” Sherry answered laconically.
“That is exactly my case. I have gone to the length
of falling very much in love with Mamie, and I wish to
marry her. I understand that her views coincide with
mine and that you make no objections. I think that the
explanation is complete.”
“Very well stated. Now, look here. The only thing
I care for on earth is that child’s happiness. She is not
like all girls. You may have found that out, by this
time. If you behave yourself as I think you will, she
will be the best wife to you that man ever had. If you
do not—well, there is no knowing what she will do, but
whatever it is, it will surprise you. I do not know
whether hearts break nowadays as easily as they used
to, and I am not prepared to state positively that Mamie’s
heart would break under the circumstances. But if you
do not treat her properly, she will make it pretty deuced
hot for you, and by the Eternal, so will I, my boy. I
like to put the thing in its proper light.”
“You do,” laughed George, “with uncommon clearness.
I am prepared to run all risks of that sort.”
339“Hope so,” returned Sherry Trimm, smoking thoughtfully.
“Now then, George,” he resumed in a more confidential
tone, after a short pause, “there is a little
matter of business between you and me. We are old
friends, and I might be your father in point of age, and
now about to become your father-in-law in point of fact.
How about the bread and butter? I have no intention
of giving Mamie a fortune. No, no, I know you are
aware of that, but there are material considerations, you
know. Now, just give me an idea of how you propose
to live.”
“If I do not lose my health, we can live very comfortably,”
George answered. “I think I can undertake to
say that we should need no help. It would not be like
this—like your way of living, of course. But we can
have all we need and a certain amount of small luxury.”
“Hum!” ejaculated Sherry Trimm in a doubting
tone. “Not much luxury, I am afraid.”
“A certain amount,” George answered quietly. “I
have earned over ten thousand dollars during the last
year and I have kept most of it.”
“Really!” exclaimed the other. “I did not know
that literature was such a good thing. But you may not
always earn as much, next year, or the year after.”
“That is unlikely, unless I break down. I do not
know why that should happen to me.”
“You do not look like it,” said Sherry, eyeing George’s
spare and vigorous frame, and his clear, brown skin.
“I do not feel like it,” said George.
“Well, look here. I will tell you what I will do. I
have my own reasons for not giving you a house just
now. But I will give Mamie just half as much as you
make, right along. I suppose that is fair. I need not
tell you that she will have everything some day.”
“You may give Mamie anything you like,” George
answered indifferently. “I shall never ask questions. If
I fall ill and cannot work for a long time together, you
will have to support her, and my father will support
me.”
340“I daresay we could spare you a crust, my boy,” said
Sherrington Trimm, laying his small hand upon George’s
broad, bony shoulder and pushing him along. “I do not
want to keep you any longer, if you have anything
to do.”
George sauntered away in the direction of the garden,
and Sherry Trimm went indoors to find his wife. Totty
met him in the drawing-room, having just returned from
a secret interview with her cook, in the interests of
Sherry’s first dinner at home.
“Totty, look here,” he said, selecting a comfortable
chair and sitting down. He leaned back, crossed his
legs, raised his hands and set them together, thumb to
thumb and finger to finger, but said nothing more.
“I am looking,” said Totty with a sweet smile. She
seated herself beside him. “I have already looked. You
are wonderfully better—I am so glad.”
“Yes. Those waters have screwed me up a peg. But
that is not what I mean. When I say, look here, I mean
to suggest that you should concentrate your gigantic intellect
upon the consideration of the matter in hand.
You have made this match, and you are responsible for
it. Will you tell me why you have made it?”
“How do you mean that I have made it?” asked Totty
evasively.
“Innocence, thy name is Charlotte!” exclaimed
Sherry, looking at the ceiling. “You brought George
here, you knew that Mamie liked him and that he would
like her, not on the first day, nor on the second, but
inevitably on the third or fourth. You knew that on
the fifth day they would love each other, that they would
tell each other so on the sixth, and that the seventh day,
being one of rest, would be devoted to obtaining our
consent. You knew also that George was, and is, a
penniless author—I admit that he earns a good deal—and
yet you have done all in your power to make Mamie
marry him. The fact that I like him has nothing to do
with it.”
341“Nothing to do with it! Oh, Sherry, how can you
say such things!”
“Nothing whatever. I would have liked lots of other
young fellows just as well. What especial reason had
you for selecting this particular young fellow? That is
what I want to get at.”
“Oh, is that all? Mamie loved him, my dear. I
knew it long ago, and as I knew that you would not disapprove,
I brought him here. It is not a question of
money. We have more than we can ever need. It is
not as if we had two or three sons to start in the world,
Sherry.”
She lent an intonation of sadness to the last words,
which, as she was aware, always produced the same
effect upon her husband. He had bitterly regretted
having no son to bear his honourable name.
“That is just it,” he answered sadly. “Mamie is
everything, and everything is for her. That is the
reason why we should be careful. She is not like a
great many girls. She has a heart and she will break
it, if she is not happy.”
“That is the very reason. You do not seem to realise
that she is madly in love.”
“No doubt, but was she madly in love, as you call it,
when you brought them here?”
“Long before that——”
“Then why did you never tell me—we might have
had him to the house all the time——”
“Because I supposed, as every one else did, that he
meant to marry Constance Fearing. I did not want to
spoil his life, and I thought that Mamie would get over
it. But the thing came to nothing. In fact, I begin to
believe that there never was anything in it, and that the
story was all idle gossip from beginning to end. He is
on as good terms as ever with her and goes over there
from time to time to console poor Grace.”
“Oh!” ejaculated Sherry in a thoughtful tone.
“You need not say ‘oh,’ like that. There is nothing
342to be afraid of. It is perfectly natural that the poor
woman should like to see him, when he nearly died in
trying to save her husband. They say she is in a dreadful
state, half mad, and ill, and so changed!”
“Poor John!” exclaimed Sherry sadly. “I shall
never see his like again.” He sighed, for he had been
very fond of the man, besides looking upon him as a
most promising partner in his law business.
“It was dreadful!” Mrs. Trimm shuddered as she
thought of the accident. “I cannot bear to talk about
it,” she added.
A short pause followed, during which Totty wore a
very sad expression, and Sherry examined attentively a
ring he wore upon his finger, in which a dark sapphire
was set between two very white diamonds.
“There is one thing,” he said suddenly. “The sooner
we pull up stakes the better. I do not propose to spend the
best part of my life in the cars. The weather is cool
and we will go back to town. So pack up your traps,
Totty, and let us be off. Have you written to Tom?”
“No,” said Totty. “I would not announce the engagement
till we were settled in town.”
Sherrington Trimm departed on the following morning,
alleging with truth that the business could not be allowed
to go to pieces. Totty and the two young people were
to return two or three days later, and active preparations
were at once made for moving. Totty, indeed, could
not bear the idea of allowing her husband to remain
alone in New York. It was possible that at any moment
he might discover that the will was missing from her
brother’s box. She might indeed have been spared
much anxiety in this matter had she known that although
Sherry had sealed and marked the document himself,
it was not he who had placed it in the receptacle where
it had been found by his wife. Sherry had handed it
across the table to John Bond, telling him to put it in
Craik’s deed-box, and had seen John leave the room
with it, but had never seen it since. It was not, indeed,
343until much later that he had communicated to his partner
the contents of the paper. If it could not now be
found, Sherry would suppose that John had accidentally
put it into the wrong box and a general search would be
made. Then it would be thought that John had mislaid
it. In any case poor John was dead and could not
defend himself. Sherry would go directly to Tom Craik
and get him to sign a duplicate, but he would never,
under any conceivable combination of circumstances,
connect his wife with the disappearance of the will, nor
mention the fact in her presence. Totty, however, was
ignorant of these facts, and lived in the constant fear of
being obliged to explain matters to her husband. Though
she had thought much of the matter she had not hit
upon any expedient for restoring the document to its
place. She kept it in a small Indian cabinet which her
brother had once given her, in which there was a hidden
drawer of which no one knew the secret but herself.
This cabinet she had brought with her and had kept all
through the summer in a prominent place in the drawing-room,
justly deeming that things are generally most
safely hidden when placed in the most exposed position,
where no one would ever think of looking for them. On
returning to New York the cabinet was again packed in
one of Totty’s own boxes, but the will was temporarily
concealed about her person, to be restored to its hiding-place
as soon as she reached the town house.
Before leaving the neighbourhood George felt that it
was his duty to apprise Constance and her sister of his
departure, but he avoided the necessity of making a visit
by writing a letter to Grace. It seemed to him more
fitting that he should address his note to her rather than
to her sister, considering all that had happened. He
urged that both should return to New York before the
winter began, and he inserted a civil message for Constance
before he concluded.
Mamie took an affectionate leave of the place in which
she had been so happy. During the last hours of the
344day preceding their return to town, George never left
her side, while she wandered through the walks of the
garden and beneath the beautiful trees, back to the
house, in and out of the rooms, then lingered again upon
the verandah and gazed at the distant river. He watched
the movements of her faultless figure as she sat down
for the last time in the places where they had so often
sat together, then rose quickly, and, linking her arm in
his, led him away to some other well-remembered spot.
“I have been so happy here!” she said for the hundredth
time.
“You shall be as happy in other places, if I can make
you so,” George answered.
“Shall we? Shall I?” she asked, looking up into his
face. “Who can tell! One is never so sure of the future
as one is of the past—and the present. Shall we take
it all with us to our little house in New York? How
funny it will seem to be living all alone with you in a
little house! I shall not give you champagne every day,
George. You need not expect it! It will be a very
little house, and I shall do all the work.”
“If you will allow me to black the boots, I shall be
most happy,” said George. “I know how.”
“Why not? But seriously, we can do a great deal
more than you fancy—provided, as you say, that we do
not go in for champagne every day, and keep horses and
all that.”
“I think we shall have more champagne and horses
than other things,” Mamie answered with a laugh.
“Mamma is going to keep a carriage for me, as well as
my dear old riding horse, and papa told me not to let
you buy any wine, because there was some of that particular
kind you like on the way out. Between you
and me, I do not think they really expect us to be in
the least economical, though mamma is always talking
about it.”
345She was very happy and it was impossible for her to
cloud the future by the idea of being deprived of any of
the luxury to which she had always been accustomed.
She knew in her heart that she was both willing and
able to undergo any privation for George’s sake, but it
would have been unlike her to talk of what she would
or could do when there was no immediate prospect of
doing it. Her chief thought was to make her husband’s
house comfortable, and if she knew something of the art
from having watched her mother, she knew also that
comfort, as she understood it, required a very free use
of money. George knew it, too, since he had been
brought up in luxury and had been deprived of it at the
age when such things are most keenly felt. The terrible,
noiseless, hourly expenditure that he had seen in
Totty’s house made the exiguity of his own resources
particularly apparent to his judgment.
“Good-bye, dear old place!” cried the young girl, as
they stood on the verandah at dusk, before going in to
dress for dinner. She threw kisses with her fingers at
the garden and at the trees.
George stood by her side in silence, gazing out at the
dim outline of the distant hills beyond the river.
“Are you not sorry to leave it all?” Mamie asked.
“Very sorry,” he answered, as though not knowing
what he said. Then he stooped, and kissed her small
white face, and they both went in.
That night George sat up late in his room, looking
over the manuscript that had grown under his hand during
the summer months. It was all but finished and he
intended to write the last chapter in New York, but it
interested him to look through it before leaving the surroundings
in which it had been written. What most
struck him in the work was the care with which it was
done. It was not a very imaginative book, but it was
remarkable for its truth and clearness of style. He
wondered at the coldness of certain scenes, which in his
first conception of the story had promised to be the most
346dramatic. He wondered still more at the success with
which he had handled points which in themselves
seemed to be far from attractive to the novelist. His
conversations were better than they had formerly been,
but the love scenes were unsatisfactory, and he determined
that he would re-write some of them. The whole
book looked too truthful and too little enthusiastic to
him, now, though he fancied that he had passed through
moments of enthusiasm while he was writing it. On the
whole, it was a disappointment to himself, and he believed
that others would be disappointed likewise. He
asked himself what Johnson would think of it, and made
up his mind to abide by his opinion. Vaguely too, as
one sometimes longs to see again a book once read, he
wished that he might have Constance’s criticism and
advice, though he was conscious at the same time that it
was not the sort of story she would have liked.
Two days later, he found himself once more in his
little room in his father’s house. The old gentleman
received the news of the engagement in silence. He
had guessed that matters would terminate as they had,
and the prospect had given him little satisfaction. He
thought that the alliance would probably cut him off
from his son’s society, and he was inwardly hurt that
George should seem indifferent to the fact. But he said
nothing. From the worldly point of view the marriage
was a brilliant one, and it meant that George must ultimately
be a rich man. His future at least was provided
for.
George found Johnson hard at work, as usual, and if
possible paler and more in earnest than before. He had
taken a week’s holiday during the hottest part of the
summer, but with that exception had never relaxed in
his astounding industry since they had last met.
“How particularly sleek you look,” he said, scrutinising
George’s face as the latter sat down.
“I feel sleek,” George answered with a slight laugh.
“I believe that is what is the matter with the book I
347have been writing since I saw you. I am not satisfied
with it, and I want your opinion. I sat up all last night
to write the last chapter in my old den. I think it is
better than the rest.”
“That is a pity. It will look like a new silk hat on
a beggar—or like a wig on a soup-tureen, as the Frenchmen
say. But I daresay you are quite wrong about the
rest of it. You generally are. For a man who can
write a good story in good English when he tries, you
have as little confidence as I ever saw in any one. The
public does not write books and does not know how they
are written. It will never find out that you wrote the
beginning in clover and the end in nettles.”
“Oh—the public!” exclaimed George. “One never
knows what it will do.”
“One may guess, sometimes. The public consists of
a vast collection of individuals collected in a crowd
around the feet of four great beasts. There is the ignorant
beast and the learned beast, the virtuous beast and
the vicious beast. They are all four beasts in their way,
because they all represent an immense accumulation of
prejudice, in four different directions and having four
different followings, all pulling different ways. You
cannot possibly please them all and it is quite useless
to try.”
“I suppose you mean that the four beasts are the four
kinds of critics. Is that it?”
“No,” Johnson answered. “That is not it at all. If
we critics had more real influence with the public, the
public would be all the better for it. As it is, the real
critic is dying out, because the public will not pay
enough to keep him alive. It is sad, but I suppose it
is natural. This is the age of free thought, and the
phrase, if you interpret it as most people do, means that
all men are to consider themselves critics, whether they
know anything or not. Have you brought your manuscript
with you?”
“No. I wanted to ask first whether you would read it.”
348“You need not be so humble, now that you are a
celebrity,” said Johnson with a laugh. “You do not
look the part, either. What has happened to you?”
“I am going to be married,” George answered. “I
am to marry my cousin, Miss Trimm.”
“Not Sherrington Trimm’s daughter!”
“The same, if it please you.”
“I congratulate you on leaving the literary career,”
said Johnson with a sardonic smile. “I suppose you
will never do another stroke of work. Well—it is a
pity.”
“I have to work for my living as I have done for
years,” George answered. “Do you imagine that I
would live upon other people’s money?”
“Do you really mean to go on working?”
“Of course I do, as long as I can hold a pen. I
should if I were rich in my own right, for love of the
thing.”
“Love of the thing is not enough. Are you ambitious?”
“I do not know. I never thought about it. To me,
the question is whether a thing is well done or not, for
its own sake. The success of it means money, which I
need, but apart from that I do not think I care very
much about it. I may be mistaken. I value your opinion,
for instance, and if I knew other men like you, I
should value theirs.”
“You will never succeed to any extent without ambition,”
Johnson answered with great energy. “It is
everything in literature. You must feel that you will
go mad if you are not first, if you are not acknowledged
to be better than any one else during your lifetime. You
must make people understand that you are a dangerous
rival, and you must have the daily satisfaction of knowing
that they feel it. Literature is like the storming of
a redoubt, you must climb upon the bodies of the slain
and be the first to plant your flag on the top. You must
lie awake all night, and torment yourself all day to find
349some means of doing a thing better than other people.
To be first, always, all your life, without fear of competition,
to be Cæsar or to be nothing! I wish I could
make you feel what I feel!”
“I think I would rather not,” said George. “It must
be very disturbing to the judgment to be always comparing
oneself with others instead of trying to do the best
one can in an independent way.”
“You will never succeed without ambition,” Johnson
repeated confidently.
“Then I am afraid I shall never succeed at all, for I
have not a spark of that sort of ambition. I do not care
a straw for being thought better than any one else, nor
for being a celebrity. I want to satisfy myself, my own
idea of what is a good book, and I am afraid I never
shall. I suppose that is a sort of ambition too.”
“It is not the right sort.”
George knew his friend very well and was familiar
with most of his ideas. He respected his character, and
he valued his opinion more than that of any man in his
acquaintance, but he could never accept his theories as
infallible. He felt that if he ever succeeded in writing
a book that pleased him he would recognise its merits
sooner than any one, and but for the necessity of earning
a livelihood he would have systematically destroyed
all his writings until he had attained a satisfactory
result. That a certain amount of reputation might be
gained by publishing what he regarded as incomplete or
inartistic work was to him a matter of indifference,
except for the material advantages which resulted from
the transaction. Such, at least, was his belief about
himself. That he was able to appreciate flattery when
it was of a good and subtle quality, only showed him
that he was human, but did not improve his own estimation
of his productions.
A week later, Johnson returned the manuscript with a
note in which he gave his opinion of it.
“It will sell,” he wrote. “You are quite mistaken
350about yourself, as usual. You told me the other day
that you had no ambition. Your book proves that you
have. You have taken the subject treated by Wiggins
in his last great novel. It made a sensation, but in my
opinion you have handled it better than he did, though
he is called a great novelist. It was a very ambitious
thing to do, and it is wonderful that, while taking a
precisely similar situation, there should not be a word
in your work that recalls his. After this, do not tell
me that you have no ambition, for it is sheer nonsense.
As for the last chapter, I should not have known that it
was not written under the same circumstances as all the
rest.”
George laughed aloud to himself. He knew the name
of Wiggins well enough, but he had never read one of
the celebrated author’s books, and if he had he would
assuredly not have taken his plot.
“But Johnson could not know that,” he said to himself,
“and I have written just such stuff about other
people.”
The book went to the publisher and he thought no
more of it. During the time that followed, his days
were very fully occupied. Between making the necessary
preparations for his approaching marriage, and the
pleasant duty of spending a certain number of hours with
Mamie every day, he had very little time to call his own,
although nothing of any importance happened to vary
the course of his life. At the beginning of November
Constance Fearing and her sister returned to town, and
at about the same time he was informed by Sherrington
Trimm that it would be necessary for him to visit Mr.
Thomas Craik, as he was about to become that gentleman’s
nephew by marriage.
“Of course, I know all about the old story, George,”
said Sherry. “But if I were you I would at least try
and be civil. The fact is, I have reason to know that he
is haunted by a sort of half-stagey, half-honest remorse
for what he did, and he is very much pleased with the
marriage, besides being a great admirer of your books.”
351“All right,” said George, “I will be civil enough.”
Sherry Trimm had conveyed exactly the impression
which he had desired to convey. He had made George
believe by his manner that he was himself anxious to
keep his relations with Mr. Craik on a pleasant footing,
doubtless on account of the money, and he had effectually
deterred George from quarrelling with his unknown
benefactor, while he had kept the question of the will
as closely secret as ever.
CHAPTER XXV.
George had never been inside Mr. Craik’s house, and
the first impression made upon him by the sight of the
old gentleman’s collected spoil was a singular one. The
sight of beautiful objects had always given him pleasure,
but, on the other hand, his mind resented and abhorred
alike disorder and senseless profusion. He had no touch
in his composition of that modern taste which delights
in producing a certain tone of colour in a room, by filling
it with all sorts of heterogeneous and useless articles,
of all periods and collected out of all countries.
It was not sufficient in his eyes that an object should be
of great value, or of great beauty, or that it should
possess both at once; it was necessary also that it should
be so placed as to acquire a right to its position and to
its surroundings. A Turkish tile, a Spanish-Moorish
dish, an Italian embroidery and an old picture might
harmonise very well with each other in colour and in
general effect, but George Wood’s uncultivated taste
failed to see why they should all be placed together,
side by side upon the same wall, any more than why
a periwig should be set upon a soup-tureen, as Johnson
had remarked. He felt from the moment he entered the
house as if he were in a bazaar of bric-à-brac, where
352everything was put up for sale, and in which each object
must have somewhere a label tied or pasted to it, upon
which letters and figures mysteriously shadowed forth
its variable price to the purchaser while accurately defining
its value to the vendor.
It must not be supposed, however, that because George
Wood did not like the look of the room in which he found
himself, it would not have been admired and appreciated
by many persons of unquestioned good taste. The value
there accumulated was very great, there was much that
was exceedingly rare and of exquisite design and workmanship,
and the vulgarity of the effect, if there were
any, was of the more subtle and tolerable kind.
George stood in the midst of the chamber, hat in hand,
waiting for the owner of the collection to appear. A
door made of panels of thin alabaster set in rich old gilt
carvings, was opposite to him, and he was wondering
whether the light actually penetrated the delicate marble
as it seemed to do, when the chiselled handle turned and
the door itself moved noiselessly on its hinges. Thomas
Craik entered the room.
The old gentleman’s head seemed to have fallen forward
upon his shoulders, so that he was obliged to look
sideways and upwards in order to see anything above the
level of his eyes. Otherwise he did not present so decrepit
an appearance as George had expected. His step
was sufficiently brisk, and though his voice was little
better than a growl, it was not by any means weak. He
was clothed in light-coloured tweed garments of the
newest cut, and he wore a red tie, and shoes of varnished
leather. The corner of a pink silk handkerchief was
just visible above the outer pocket of his coat, and he
emanated a perfume which seemed to be combined out
of Cologne water and Russian leather.
“Official visit, eh?” he said with an attempt at a
pleasant smile. “Glad to see you. Sorry you have
waited so long before coming. Take a seat.”
“Thanks,” answered George, sitting down. “I am glad
to see that you are quite yourself again, Mr. Craik.”
353“Quite myself, eh? Never was anybody else long
enough to know what it felt like. But I have not forgotten
that you came to ask—no, no, I remember that.
Going to marry Mamie, eh? Glad to hear it. Well,
well.”
Thomas Craik rubbed his emaciated hands slowly together
and looked sideways at his visitor.
“Yes,” said George, “I am going to marry Miss
Trimm——”
“Call her Mamie, call her Mamie—own niece of mine,
you know. No use standing on ceremony.”
“I think it is as well to call her Miss Trimm until we
are married,” George observed, rather coldly.
“Oh, you think so, do you? Well, well. Not to her
face, I hope?”
George thought that Mr. Craik was one of the most
particularly odious old gentlemen he had ever met. He
changed the subject as quickly as he could.
“What a wonderful collection of beautiful things you
have, Mr. Craik,” he said, glancing at a set of Urbino
dishes that were fastened against the wall nearest to
him.
“Something, something,” replied Mr. Craik, modestly.
“Fond of pretty things? Understand majolica?”
“I am very fond of pretty things, but I know nothing
about majolica. I believe the subject needs immense
study. They say you are a great authority on all these
things.”
“Oh, they say so, do they? Well, well. Books are
more in your line, eh? Some in the other room if you
like to see them. Come?”
“Yes indeed!” George answered with alacrity. He
thought that if he must sustain the conversation for five
minutes longer, it would be a relief to be among things
he understood. Tom Craik rose and led the way through
the alabaster door by which he had entered. George
found himself in a spacious apartment, consisting of two
rooms which had been thrown into one by building an
354arch in the place of the former wall of division. There
were no windows, but each division was lighted by a
large skylight of stained glass, supported on old Bohemian
iron-work. To the height of six feet from the floor,
the walls were lined with bookcases, the books being
protected by glass. Above these the walls were completely
covered with tapestries, stuffs, weapons, old
plates and similar objects.
“Favourite room of mine,” remarked Mr. Craik,
backing up to the great wood fire, and looking about
him with side glances, first to the right and then to the
left. “Look about you, look about you. A lot of books
in those shelves, eh? Well, well. About three thousand.
Not many but good and good, as books should be,
inside and out. Eh? Like that?”
“Yes,” said George, moving slowly round the room,
stooping and then standing erect, as he glanced rapidly
at the titles of the long rows of volumes. The born man
of letters warmed at the sight of the familiar names and
felt less inimically inclined towards the master of the
house.
“I envy you such books to read and such a place in
which to read them,” he said at last.
“I believe you do,” answered Mr. Craik, looking
pleased. “You look as if you did. Well, well. May
be all yours some day.”
“How so?” George inquired, growing suddenly cold
and looking sharply at the old man.
“May leave everything to Totty. Totty may leave
everything to Mamie. Fact is, any station may be the
last. May have to hand in my checks at any time.
Funny world, isn’t it? Eh?”
“A very humorous and comic world, as you say,”
George answered, looking at the old man with a rather
scornful twist of his naturally scornful mouth.
“Humorous and comic? I say, funny. It’s shorter.
What would you do if you owned this house?”
“I would sell it,” George answered with a dry laugh,
355“sell it, except the books, and live on the interest of the
proceeds.”
“And you would do a very sensible thing, Mr. George
Winton Wood,” returned Tom Craik approvingly. All
at once he dropped his detached manner of speaking and
grew eloquent. “You would be doing a very sensible
thing. A man of your age can have no manner of use
for all this rubbish. If you ever mean to be a collector,
reserve that expensive taste for the time when you have
plenty of money, but can neither eat, drink, sleep, make
love nor be merry in any way—no, nor write novels
either. The pleasure does not consist in possessing
things, it lies in finding them, bargaining for them,
fighting for them and ultimately getting them. It is the
same with money, but there is more variety in collecting,
to my mind, at least. It is the same with everything,
money, love, politics, collecting, it is only the
fighting for what you want that is agreeably exciting.
It has kept me alive, with my wretched constitution,
when the doctors have been thinking of sending for the
person in black who carries a tape measure. I never had
any ambition. I never cared for anything but the fighting.
I never cared to be first, second or third. I do not
believe that your ambitious man ever succeeds in life.
He thinks so much about himself that he forgets what
he is fighting for. You can easily make a fool of an
ambitious man by offering him a bait, and you may take
the thing you want while he is chasing the phantom of
glory on the other side of the house. I hope you are not
ambitious. You have begun as if you were not, and you
have knocked all the stuffing out of the rag dolls the
critics put up to frighten young authors. I have read a
good deal in my day, and I have seen a good deal, and I
have taken a great many things I have wanted. I know
men, and I know something about books. You ought to
succeed, for you go about your work as though you liked
it for the sake of overcoming difficulties, for the sake of
fighting your subject and getting the better of it. Stick
356to that principle. It prolongs life. Pick out the hardest
thing there is to be done, and go at it, hammer and tongs,
by hook or by crook, by fair means or foul. If you cannot
do it, after all, nobody need be the wiser; if you
succeed every one will cry out in admiration of your industry
and genius, when you have really only been
amusing yourself all the time—because nothing can be
more amusing than fighting. You are quite right. Ambition
is nonsense and the satisfaction of possession is
bosh. The only pleasure is in doing and getting. If, in
the inscrutable ways of destiny, you ever own this
house, sell it, and when you are old, and crooked, and
cannot write any more, and people think you are a drivelling
idiot and are sitting in rows outside your door,
waiting for dead men’s shoes—why then, you can prolong
your life by collecting something, as I have done.
The desire to get the better of a Jew dealer in a bargain
for a Maestro Georgio, or the determination to find the
edition which has been heard of but never seen, will
make your blood circulate and your heart beat, and your
brain work. I have half a mind to sell the whole thing
myself for the sake of doing it all over again, and keeping
somebody waiting ten years longer for the money.
I might last ten years more if I could hit upon something
new to collect.”
The old man ceased speaking and looked up sideways
at George, with a keen smile, very unlike the expression
he assumed when he meant to be agreeable. Then he
relapsed into his usual way of talking, jerking out short
sentences and generally omitting the subject or the verb,
when he did not omit both. It is possible that he had
delivered his oration for the sake of showing George
that he could speak English as well as any one when he
chose to do so.
“Like my little speech? Eh?” he inquired.
“I shall not forget it,” George answered. “Your ideas
cannot be accused of being stale or old fashioned, whatever
else may be said of them.”
357“Put them into a book, will you? Well, well. Daresay
printer’s ink has been wasted on worse—sometimes.”
George did not care to prolong his visit beyond the
bounds of strict civility, though he had been somewhat
diverted by his relation’s talk. He asked a few questions
about the books and discovered that Tom Craik
was by no means the unreading edition-hunter he had
supposed him to be. If he had not read all the three
thousand choice volumes he possessed, he had at least
a very clear idea of the contents of most of them.
“Buying an author and not reading him,” he said, “is
like buying a pig in a poke and then not even looking at
the pig afterwards. Eh?”
“Very like,” George answered with a short laugh.
Then he took his leave. The old man went with him
as far as the door that led out of the room in which they
had first met.
“Come again,” he said. “Rather afraid of draughts,
so I leave you here. Good day to you.”
George took the thin hand that was thrust out at him
and shook it with somewhat less repulsion that he had
felt a quarter of an hour earlier. The sight of the books
had softened his heart a little, as it often softens the
enmities of literary men when they least expect it. He
turned away and left the house, wondering whether, after
all, old Tom Craik had not been judged more harshly
than he deserved. The man of letters is slow to anger
against those who show any genuine fondness for his
profession.
He walked down the avenue, thinking over what he
had seen and heard. It chanced that after walking some
time he stepped aside to allow certain ladies to pass him
and on looking round saw that he was in the door of Mr.
Popples’s establishment. A thought struck him and he
went in.
“Mr. Popples——”
“Good morning, Mr. Winton Wood——” Mr. Popples
358thought that the two names sounded better together.
“Good morning, Mr. Popples. I want to ask you a
confidential question.” George laughed a little.
“Anything, Mr. Winton Wood. Something in regard
to the sales, no doubt. Well, in point of fact, sir, it is
just as well to ask now and then how a book is going,
just for the sake of checking the statement as we say,
though I will say that Rob Roy and Company——”
“No, no,” George interrupted with a second laugh.
“They treat me very well. You know Mr. Craik, do
you not?”
“Mr. Craik!” exclaimed the bookseller, with a beaming
smile. “Why, dear me! Mr. Craik is your first
cousin once removed, Mr. Winton Wood! Of course I
know him.” He prided himself on knowing the exact
degree of relationship existing between his different customers,
which was equivalent to knowing by heart the
genealogy of all New York society.
“You are a subtle flatterer,” George answered. “You
pretend to know him only because he is my cousin.”
“A great collector,” returned the other, drawing down
the corners of his mouth and turning up his eyes as
though he were contemplating an object of solemn beauty.
“A great collector! He knows what a book is, old or
new. He knows, he knows—oh yes, he knows very
well.”
“What I want to know is this,” said George. “Does
Mr. Craik buy my books or not? Do you happen to remember?”
“Well, Mr. Winton Wood,” answered Mr. Popples,
“the fact is, I do happen to remember, by the merest
chance. The fact is, to be honest, quite honest, Mr.
Craik does not buy your books. But he reads them.”
“Borrows them, I suppose,” observed George.
“Well, not that, exactly, either. The fact is,” said
the bookseller, lowering his voice to a confidential whisper,
“Mrs. Sherrington Trimm buys them and sends
359them to him. He buys mostly valuable books,” he
added, as though apologising for Mr. Craik’s stinginess.
“Thank you, Mr. Popples,” said George, laughing
for the third time, and turning away.
“Oh, not at all, Mr. Winton Wood. Anything, anything.
Walking this mor——”
But George was already out of the shop and the bookseller
did not take the trouble to pronounce the last syllable,
as he readjusted his large spectacles and took up
three or four volumes that lay on the edge of the table.
“It cannot be said,” George thought, as he walked on,
“that I am very much indebted to Mr. Thomas Craik—not
even for ten per cent on one dollar and twenty-five.”
George would have been very much surprised to learn
that the man who would not spend a dollar and a quarter
in purchasing one of his novels had left him everything
he possessed, and that the document which was to prove
his right was reposing in that Indian cabinet of Mrs.
Trimm’s, which he had so often admired. It seemed as
though Totty had planned everything to earn his gratitude,
and he was especially pleased that she should have
made her miserly brother read his books. It showed at
once her own admiration for them and her desire that
every one belonging to her should share in it.
Having nothing especial to do until a later hour,
George thought of going to see Constance and Grace.
They had only been in town two days, but he was curious
to know whether Mrs. Bond had begun to look like herself
again, or was becoming more and more absorbed in
her sorrow as time went on. He had not been to the
house in Washington Square since the first of May, and
so many events had occurred in his life since that date
that he felt as though he were separated from it by an
interval of years instead of months. The time had
passed very quickly. It would soon be three years since
he had first gone up those steps with his cousin one afternoon
in the late winter. As he approached the familiar
door, he thought of all that had happened in the time,
360and he was amazed to find how he had changed. Six
months earlier he had descended those steps with the
certainty that the better and sweeter part of his life was
behind him, and that his happiness had been destroyed
by a woman’s caprice. It had been a rough lesson but
he had survived the ordeal and was now a far happier
man than he had been then. In the flush of success, he
was engaged to marry a young girl who loved him with
all her heart, and whom he loved as well as he could.
The world was before him now, as it had not been then,
when he had felt himself dependent for his inspiration
upon Constance’s attachment, and for the help he needed
upon his daily converse with her. If his heart was not
satisfied as he had once dreamed that it might be, his
hopes were raised by the experience of self-reliance. It
had once seemed bitter to work alone; he had now ceased
to desire any companionship in his labours. Mamie was
to be his wife, not his adviser. She was to look up to
him, and he must make himself worthy of her trust as well
as of her admiration. He would work for her, labour to
make her happy, to the extreme extent of his strength,
and he would be proud of the part he would play. She
would be the mother of children, graceful and charming
as herself, or angular, tough and hardworking as he was,
and he and she would love them. But there the relation
was to cease, and he was glad of it. He owed much to
Constance, and was ready to acknowledge the whole debt,
but neither Constance herself, nor any other woman
could take the same place in his life again. Least of
all, she herself, he thought, as he rang the bell of her
house and waited for admittance. In the old days his
heart used to beat faster than its wont before he was
fairly within the precincts of the Square. Now he was
as unconscious of any emotion as though he were standing
before his own door.
Grace received him alone in the old familiar drawing-room.
She happened to be sitting in the place Constance
used to choose when George came to see her, and
361he took his accustomed seat, almost unconscious of the
associations it had once had for him.
“Constance is gone out,” Grace began. “I am sure
she will be sorry. It is kind of you to come so soon.”
“You are no better,” George answered, looking at her,
and not heeding her remark. “I had hoped that you
might be, but your expression is the same. Why do you
not go abroad, and make some great change in your life?”
“I am very well,” Grace replied with a faint smile
which only increased the sadness of her look. “I do
not care to go away. Why should I? It could make no
difference.”
“But it would. It would make all the difference in
the world. Your sorrow is in everything, in all you
see, in all you hear, in every familiar impression of
your life—even in me and the sight of me.”
“You are mistaken. It is here.” She pressed her
hand to her breast with a gesture almost fierce, and
fixed her deep brown eyes on George’s face for an
instant. Then she let her arm fall beside her and looked
away. “The worst of it is that I am so strong,” she
added presently. “I shall never break down. I shall
live to be an old woman.”
“Yes,” George answered, thoughtfully, “I believe
that you will. I can understand that. I fancy that
you and I are somewhat alike. There are people who
are unhappy, and who fade away and go out like a lamp
without oil. They are said to die of broken hearts
though they have not felt half as much happiness or
sorrow as some tougher man and woman who live through
a lifetime of despair and disappointment.”
“Are you very happy?” Grace asked rather suddenly.
“Yes, I am very happy. I suppose I have reason to
be. Everything has gone well with me of late. I have
had plenty of success with what I have done, I am
engaged to be married——”
“That is what I mean,” said Grace, interrupting him.
“Are you happy in that? I suppose I have no right to
362ask such a question, but I cannot help asking it. You
ought to be, for you two are very well matched. Do
you know? It is a very fortunate thing that Constance
refused you. You did not really love her any more than
she loved you.”
“What makes you say that?”
“If you were really in love, your love died a rather
easy death. That is all.”
“That is true,” George answered, smiling in spite of
himself.
“Do you remember the first of May as well as you
did three months ago? Perhaps. I do not say that you
have forgotten it altogether. When I told you her decision,
you did not act like a man who has received a
terrible blow. You were furiously, outrageously angry.
You wished that I had been a man, that you might have
struck me.”
“I believed that I had cause to be angry. Besides, I
have extraordinary natural gifts in that direction.”
“Of course you had cause. But if you had loved her—as
some people love—you would have forgotten to be
angry for once in your life and you would have behaved
very differently.”
“I daresay you are right. As I came here to-day I
was thinking over it all. You know I have not been
here since that day. In old times I could feel my heart
beating faster as I came near the house, and when I rang
the bell my hand used to tremble. To-day I walked
here as coolly as though I had been going home, and
when I was at the door I was much more concerned to
know whether you were better than to know whether
your sister was in the house or not. Such is the unstability
of the human heart.”
“Yes—when there is no real love in it,” Grace
answered. “And the strongest proof that there was
none in yours is that you are willing to own it. What
made you think that you were so fond of her? How
came you to make such a mistake?”
363“I cannot tell. I would not talk to any one else as I
am talking to you. But we understand each other, she
is your sister and you never believed in our marriage.
It began very gradually. Any man would fall in love
with her, if he had the chance. She was interested in
me. She was kind to me, when I got little kindness
from any one——”
“And none at all from me, poor man!” interrupted
Grace.
“Especially none from you. It was she who always
urged me to write a book, though I did not believe I
could; it was to her that I read my first novel from
beginning to end. It was she who seized upon it and
got it published in spite of my protests—it was she who
launched me and made my first success what it was. I
owe her very much more than I could ever hope to
repay, if I possessed any means of showing my gratitude.
I loved her for her kindness and she liked me for my
devotion—perhaps for my submission, for I was very
submissive in those days. I had not learned to run
alone, and if she would have had me I would have
walked in her leading-strings to the end of my life.”
“How touching!” exclaimed Grace, and the first genuine
laughter of which she had been capable for three
months followed the words.
“No, do not laugh,” said George gravely. “I owe
her everything and I know it. Most of all, I owe her
the most loyal friendship and sincere gratitude that a
man can feel for any woman he does not love. It is all
over now. I never felt any emotion at meeting her
since we parted after that abominable dinner-party, and
I shall never feel any again. I am sure of that.”
“I am sorry I laughed. I could not help it. But I
am very glad that things have ended in this way, though,
as I told you when I last saw you, I wish she would
marry. She has grown to be the most listless, unhappy
creature in the world.”
“What can be the matter?” George asked. “Is it
364not the life you are leading together? You are so
lonely.”
“I came back on her account,” Grace answered wearily.
“For my own sake I would never have left that
dear place again. I have told her that I will do anything
she pleases, go anywhere, live in any other way.
It can make no difference to me. But she will not hear
of leaving New York. I cannot mention it to her. She
grows thinner every day.”
“It is very strange. I am very sorry to hear it.”
They talked together for some time longer and then
George went away, inwardly wondering at his own conduct
in having spoken of Constance so freely to her
sister. It was not unnatural, however. Grace treated
him as an old friend, and circumstances had suddenly
brought the two into relations of close intimacy. As she
had been chosen by Constance to convey the latter’s
refusal, it might well be supposed that she was in her
sister’s confidence, and George had said nothing which
he was not willing that Grace should repeat. He had
not been gone more than half an hour when Constance
entered the room, looking pale and tired.
“I have been everywhere to find a wedding present
for the future Mrs. Wood,” she said, as she let herself
sink down upon the sofa. “I can find nothing, positively
nothing that will do.”
“He has just been here,” said Grace indifferently.
Constance changed colour and glanced quickly at her
sister. She looked as though she had checked herself
in the act of saying something which she might have
regretted.
“What did you talk about?” she asked quietly, after
a moment’s pause. “I wish I had been here. I have
not seen him since he came to announce his engagement.”
“Yes. He was sorry to miss you, too. He was not
particularly agreeable—considering how well he can
talk when he tries. I am very fond of him now. I am
365sorry I misjudged him formerly, and I told him so
before he came to town.”
“You have discovered that you misjudged him, then,”
said Constance, as calmly as she could.
“Yes,” Grace answered with perfect unconcern. “I
am always glad to see him. By-the-bye, we talked
about you.”
“About me?”
“Yes. What is the matter? Is there any reason why
we should not talk about you?”
“Oh, none whatever—except that he loved me once.”
“He said nothing but what was perfectly fair and
friendly. I asked him if he was happy in the prospect
of being married so soon, and then very naturally we
spoke of you. He said that he owed you the most loyal
friendship and sincere gratitude, that you had launched
him in his career by sending his first novel to the publisher
without his consent, that without you, he would
not have been what he is—he said it seemed natural,
on looking back, that he should have loved you, or
thought that he loved you——”
“Thought that he loved me?” Constance repeated in
a low voice.
“Yes. Considering how quickly he has recovered,
his love can hardly have been much more sincere than
yours. What is the matter, Conny dear? Are you ill?”
Constance had hidden her face in the cushions and
was sobbing bitterly, in the very place she had occupied
when she had finally refused George Wood, and almost
in the same attitude.
“Oh Grace!” she moaned. “You will break my heart!”
“Do you love him, now?” Grace asked in a voice that
was suddenly hard. She had not had the least suspicion
of the real state of the case. Constance nodded
in answer, still sobbing and covering her face. Grace
turned away in disgust.
“What contemptible creatures we women can be!”
she said in an undertone, as she crossed the room.
CHAPTER XXVI.
366
George was in the habit of going to see Mamie every
afternoon, and the hours he spent with her were by far
the most pleasant in his day. Mrs. Trimm had thoroughly
understood her daughter’s nature when she had
told George that the girl possessed that sort of charm
which never wearies men because they can never find
out exactly where it lies. It was not easy to imagine
that any one should be bored in Mamie’s society. George
returned day after day, expecting always that he must
ultimately find the continual conversation a burden, but
reassured each time by what he felt after he had been
twenty minutes in the house. As he was not profoundly
moved himself it seemed unnatural that these long meetings
should not at last become an irksome and uninteresting
duty, the conscientious performance of which
would react to the disadvantage of his subsequent happiness.
The spontaneity which had given so much
freshness to their intercourse while they were living
under the same roof, was gone now that George found
himself compelled to live by rules of consideration for
others, and he was aware of the fact each time he entered
Mamie’s presence. Nevertheless her manner and voice
exercised such a fascination over him as made him forget
after a quarter of an hour that he and she were no
longer in the country, and that he was no longer free to
see her or not see her, as he pleased, independently of all
formality and custom. Nothing could have demonstrated
Mamie’s superiority over most young women of
her age more clearly than this fact. The situation of
affianced couples after their engagement is announced is
very generally hard to sustain with dignity on either
side, but is more especially a difficult one for the man.
It is undoubtedly rendered more easy by the enjoyment
of the liberty granted among Anglo-Saxons in such
367cases. But that freedom is after all only a part of our
whole system of ideas, and as we all expect it from the
first, we do not realise that our position is any more
fortunate than that of the young French gentleman, who
is frequently not allowed to exchange a single word with
his bride until he has been formally affianced to her,
and who may not talk to her without the presence of a
third person until she is actually his wife. Under our
existing customs a young girl must be charming indeed
if her future husband can talk with her three hours
every day during six weeks or two months and go away
each time feeling that his visit has been too short.
Neither animated conversation nor frequent correspondence
have any right to be considered as tests of love.
Love is not to be measured by the fluent use of words,
nor by an easy acquaintance with agreeable topics, nor
yet by lavish expenditure in postage-stamps. George
knew all this, and was moreover aware in his heart that
there was nothing desperately passionate in his affection;
he was the more surprised, therefore, to find that
the more he saw of Mamie Trimm, the more he wished
to see of her.
“Do you think,” he said to her, on that same afternoon
in November, “that all engaged couples enjoy their
engagement as much as we do?”
“I am sure they do not,” Mamie answered. “Nobody
is half as nice as we are!”
They were seated in a small boudoir that adjoined the
drawing-room. The wide door was open and they could
hear the pleasant crackling of the first wood fire that
was burning in the larger room, though they could not
see it. The air without was gloomy and grey, for the
late Indian summer was over, and before long the first
frosts would come and the first flakes of snow would be
driven along the dry and windy streets. It was early
in the afternoon, however, and though the light was cold
and colourless and hard, there was plenty of it. Mamie
was established in a short but very deep sofa, something
368resembling a divan, one small foot just touching the
carpet, the other hidden from view, her head thrown
back and resting against the tapestry upon the wall, one
arm resting upon the end of the lounge, the little classic
hand hanging over the edge, so near to George that he
had but to put out his own in order to touch it. He was
seated with his back to the door of the drawing-room,
clasping his hands over one knee and leaning forward as
he gazed at the window opposite. He smiled at Mamie’s
answer.
“No, I am sure other people do not enjoy sitting
together and talking during half the day, as we do,” he
said. “I have often thought so. It is you who make
our life what it is. It will always be you, with your
dear ways——”
He stopped, seeking an expression which he could not
find immediately.
“Have I dear ways?” Mamie asked with a little
laugh. “I never knew it before—but since you say
so——”
“It is only those who love us that know the best of
us. We never know it ourselves.”
“Do you love me, George?” The question was put
to him for the thousandth time. To her it seemed
always new and the answer was always full of interest,
as though it had never been given before.
“Very dearly.” George laid his hand upon her slender
fingers and pressed them softly. He had abandoned
the attempt to give her an original reply at each repetition
of the inquiry.
“Is that all?” she asked, pretending to be disappointed,
but smiling with her grey eyes.
“Can a man say more and mean it?” George inquired
gravely. Then he laughed. “The other day,” he continued,
“I was in a train on the Elevated Road. There
was a young couple opposite to me—the woman was a
little round fat creature with a perpetual smile, pretty
teeth, and dressed in grey. They were talking in low
369tones, but I heard what they said. Baby language was
evidently their strong point. He turned his head towards
her with the most languishing lover-like look I ever saw.
‘Plumpety itty partidge, who does ‘oo love?’ he asked.
‘Zoo!’ answered the little woman with a smile that went
all round her head like the equator on a globe.”
Mamie laughed as he finished the story.
“That represented their idea of conversation, what you
call ‘dear ways.’ My dear ways are not much like that
and yours are quite different. When I ask you if you
love me, you almost always give the same answer. But
then, I know you mean it dear, do you not?”
“There it is again!” George laughed. “Of course I
do—only, as you say, my imagination is limited. I
cannot find new ways of saying it. But then, you do
not vary the question either, so that it is no wonder if
my answers are a little monotonous, is it?”
“Are my questions monotonous? Do I bore you with
them, George?”
“No, dear. I should be very hard to please if you bored
me. It is your charm that makes our life what it is.”
“I wish I believed that. What is charm? What do
you mean by it? It is not an intellectual gift, it is not
a quality, a talent, nor accomplishment. I believe you
tell me that I have it because you do not know what else
to say. It is so easy to say to a woman ‘You are full of
charm,’ when she is ugly and stupid and cannot play on
the piano, and you feel obliged to be civil. I am sure
that there is no such thing as charm. It is only an imaginary
compliment. Why not tell me the truth?”
“You are neither ugly nor stupid, and I am sincerely
glad that you leave the piano alone,” said George. “I
could find any number of compliments to make, if that
were my way. But it is not, of course. You have lots
of good points, Mamie. Look at yourself in the glass if
you do not believe it. Look at your figure, look at your
eyes, at your complexion, at your hands—listen to your
own voice——”
370“Do not talk nonsense, George. Besides, that is only
a catalogue. If you want to please me you must compare
all those things to beautiful objects. You must say
that my eyes are like—gooseberries, for instance, my
figure like—what shall I say?”
“Like Psyche’s,” suggested George.
“Or like an hour-glass, and my hands like stuffed
gloves, and my skin like a corn starch pudding, and my
voice like the voice of the charmer. That is the way to
be complimentary. Poetry must make use of similes and
call a spade an ace—as papa says. When you have
done all that, and turned your catalogue into blank
verse, tell me if there is anything left which you can
call charm.”
“Charm,” George answered, “is what every man who
loves a woman thinks she has—and if she has it all men
love her. You have it.”
“Dear me!” exclaimed the young girl. “Can you
get no nearer to a definition than that?”
“Can you define anything which you only feel and
cannot see—heat for instance, or cold?”
“Heat makes one hot, and cold makes one shiver,”
answered Mamie promptly.
“And charm makes a woman loved. That is as good
an answer as yours.”
“I suppose I must be satisfied, especially as you say
that it can only be felt and not seen. Besides, if it
makes you love me, why should I care what it is called?
Do you know what it really is? It is love itself. It is
because I love you so much, so intensely, that I make
you love me. There is no such thing as charm. Charm
is either a woman’s love, or her readiness to love—one
or the other.”
Mamie laughed softly and moved the hand that was
hanging over the end of the sofa, as though seeking the
touch of George’s fingers. He obeyed the little signal
quite unconsciously.
“Who can that be?” Mamie asked, after a moment’s
371pause. She thought that she had heard a door open and
that some one had entered the drawing-room. George
listened a few seconds.
“Nobody,” he said. “It was only the fire.”
While the two had been talking, some one had really
entered the large adjoining room as Mamie had suspected.
Thomas Craik was not in the habit of making
visits in the afternoon, but on this particular day he had
found the process of being driven about in a closed
brougham more wearisome than usual, and it had struck
him that he might find Totty at home and amuse himself
with teasing her in some way or other. Totty was expected
every moment, the servant had said, and the discreet
attendant had added that Mr. George and Miss
Mamie were in the boudoir together. Mr. Craik said that
he would wait in the drawing-room, to which he was accordingly
admitted. He knew the arrangement of the
apartment and took care not to disturb the peace of the
young couple by making any noise. It would be extremely
entertaining, he thought, to place himself so as
to hear something of what they said to each other; he
therefore stepped softly upon the thick carpet and took
up what he believed to be a favourable position. His
hearing was still as sharp as ever, and he did not go too
near the door of the inner room lest Totty, entering suddenly,
should suppose that he had been listening.
“So you think that I only love you because you love
me,” said George. “You are not very complimentary
to yourself.”
“I did not say that, though that was the beginning.
You would never have begun to love me—George, I am
sure there is some one in the next room!”
“It is impossible. Your mother would have come
directly to us, and the servants would not have let any
caller go in while she was out. Shall I look?”
“No—you are quite right,” Mamie answered. “It
is only the crackling of the fire.” She was holding his
hand and did not care to let it drop in order that he
might satisfy her curiosity. “What was I saying?”
372“Something very foolish—about my not loving you.”
Thomas Craik listened for a while to their conversation,
eagerly at first and then with an expression of
weariness on his parchment face. He had been afraid
to sit down, for fear of making a noise, and he found
himself standing before a table, on which, among many
other objects was placed the small Indian cabinet he had
once given to his sister. Many years had passed since
he had sent it to her, but his keen memory for details
had not forgotten the secret drawer it contained, nor the
way to open it. He looked at it for some time curiously,
wondering whether Totty kept anything of value in it.
Then it struck him that if she really kept anything concealed
there, it would be an excellent practical joke to
take out the object, whatever it might be, and carry it
off. The idea was in accordance with that part of his
character which loved secret and underhand dealings.
The scene which would ensue when he ultimately brought
the thing back would answer the other half of his nature
which delighted in inflicting brutal and gratuitous surprises
upon people he did not like. He laid his thin
hands gently on the cabinet and proceeded to open it as
noiselessly as he could.
Mamie’s sharp ears were not deceived this time, however.
She bent forward and whispered to George.
“There is somebody there. Go on tiptoe and look
from behind the curtain. Do not let them see you, or
we shall have to go in, and that would be such a bore.”
George obeyed in silence, stood a moment peering into
the next room, concealed by the hangings and then
returned to Mamie’s side. “It is your Uncle Tom,” he
whispered with a smile. “He is in some mischief, I am
sure, for he is opening that Indian cabinet as though he
did not want to be heard.”
“I will tell mamma, when she comes in—what fun
it will be!” Mamie answered. “He must have heard
us before, so that we must go on talking—about the
weather.” Then raising her voice she began to speak
of their future plans.
373Meanwhile Mr. Craik had slipped back the part of the
cover which concealed the secret drawer, and had opened
the latter. There was nothing in it but the document
which Totty kept there. He quickly took it out and
closed the cabinet again. Something in the appearance
of the paper attracted his attention, and instead of putting
it into his pocket to read at home and at his leisure,
as he had intended to do, he unfolded it and glanced at
the contents.
He had always been a man able to control his anger,
unless there was something to be gained by manifesting
it, but his rage was now far too genuine to be concealed.
The veins swelled and became visible beneath the tightly
drawn skin of his forehead, his mouth worked spasmodically
and his hands trembled with fury as he held the
sheet before his eyes, satisfying himself that it was the
genuine document and not a forgery containing provisions
different from those he had made in his own will.
As soon as he felt no further doubt about the matter, he
gave vent to his wrath, in a storm of curses, stamping
up and down the room, and swinging his long arms as
he moved, still holding the paper in one hand.
Mamie turned pale and grasped George by the arm.
He would have risen to go into the next room, but she
held him back with all her strength.
“No—stay here!” she said in a low voice. “You
can do no good. He knew we were here—something
must have happened! Oh, George, what is it?”
“If you will let me go and see——”
But at that moment, it became evident to both that
Tom Craik was no longer alone. Totty had entered the
drawing-room. As the servant had said, she had been
expected every moment. Her brother turned upon her
furiously, brandishing the will and cursing louder than
before. In his extreme anger he was able to lift up his
head and look her in the eyes.
“You damned infernal witch!” he shouted. “You
abominable woman! You thief! You swindler! You——”
374“Help! help!” screamed Totty. “He is mad—he
means to kill me!”
“I am not mad, you wretch!” yelled Tom Craik, pursuing
her and catching her with one hand while he
shook the will in her face with the other. “Look at
that—look at it! My will, here in your keeping, without
so much as a piece of paper or a seal to hold it—you
thief! You have broken into your husband’s office, you
burglar! You have broken open my deed-box—look
at it! Do you recognise it? Stand still and answer me,
or I will hold you till the police can be got. Do you
see? The last will and testament of me Thomas Craik,
and not a cent for Charlotte Trimm. Not one cent, and
not one shall you get either. He shall have it all,
George Winton Wood, shall have it all. Ah—I see
the reason why you have kept it now—If I had found
it gone, you know I would have made it over again!
Cheaper, and wiser, and more like you to get him for your
daughter—of course it was, you lying, shameless beast!”
“What is the meaning of this?” George asked in
ringing tones. He had broken away from Mamie with
difficulty and she had followed him into the room, and
now stood clinging to her mother. George pushed Tom
Craik back a little and placed himself between him and
Totty, who was livid with terror and seemed unable to
speak a word. The sudden appearance of George’s tall,
angular figure, and the look of resolution in his dark
face brought Tom Craik to his senses.
“You want to know the meaning of it,” he said.
“Quite right. You shall. When I was dying—nearly
three years ago, I made a will in your favour. I left
you everything I have in the world. Why? Because I
pleased. This woman thought she was to have my
money. Oh, you might have had it, if you had been
less infernally greedy,” he cried, turning to Totty.
“This will was deposited in my deed-box at Sherry
Trimm’s office. Saw it there, on the top of the papers
with my own eyes the last time I went; and Sherry was
375in Europe then. So you took it, and no one else. Poor
Bond did not, though as he is dead, you will say he did.
It will not help you. So you laid your trap—oh yes!
I know those tricks of yours. You broke off George
Wood’s marriage with the girl he loved, and you laid
your trap—very nicely done—very. You gave him
Sherry’s wines, and Sherry’s cigars to make him come.
I know all about it. I was watching you. And you
made him come and spend the summer up the river—so
nice, and luxurious, and quiet for a poor young author.
And you told nobody he was there—not you! I can see
it all now, the moonlight walks, and the rides and the
boating, and Totty indoors with a headache, or writing
letters. It was easy to get Sherry’s consent when it was
all arranged, was it not? Devilish easy. Sherry is an
honest man—I know men—but he knew on which side
his daughter’s bread was buttered, for he had drawn up
the will himself. He did not mind if George Winton
Wood, the poor author, fell in love with his daughter,
any more than his magnanimous wife was disturbed by
the prospect. Not a bit. The starving author was to
have millions—millions, woman! as soon as the old
brother was nailed up and trundled off to Greenwood!
And he shall have them, too. It only remains to be
seen whether he will have your daughter.”
Craik paused for breath, though his invalid form was
as invigorated by his extreme anger as to make it appear
that he might go on indefinitely in the same strain. As
for George he was at first too much amazed by the story
to believe his ears. He thought Craik was mad, and
yet the presence of the will which the old man repeatedly
thrust before his eyes and in which he could not help
seeing his own name written in the lawyer’s large clear
hand, told him that there was a broad foundation of
truth in the tale.
“Defend yourself, Totty,” he said as quietly as he
could. “Tell him that this story is absurd. I think
Mr. Craik is not well——”
376“Not well, young man?” Craik asked, looking up at
him with a bitter laugh. “I am as well as you. Here
is my will. There is the cabinet. And there is Charlotte
Sherrington Trimm. Send for her husband. Ask
him if it is not a good case for a jury. You may be in
love with the girl, and she may be in love with you, for
all I know. But you have been made to fall in love
with each other by that scheming old woman, there.
The only way she could get the money into the family
was through you. She is lawyer enough to know that
there may be a duplicate somewhere, and that I should
make one fast enough if there were not. Besides, to burn
a will means the State’s Prison, and she wants to avoid
that place, if she can.”
The possibility and the probability that the whole
story might be true, flashed suddenly upon George’s
mind, and he turned very pale. The recollection of
Totty’s amazing desire to please him was still fresh in
his mind, and he remembered how very unexpected it
had all seemed, the standing invitation to the house, the
extreme anxiety to draw him to the country, the reckless
way in which Totty had left him alone with her daughter,
Totty’s manner on that night when she had persuaded
him to offer himself to Mamie—the result, and the
cable message she had shown him, ready prepared, and
taking for granted her husband’s consent. By this
time Totty had sunk into a chair and was sobbing helplessly,
covering her face with her hands and handkerchief.
George walked up to her, while old Tom Craik
kept at his elbow, as though fearing that he might
prove too easily forgiving.
“How long have you known the contents of that will?”
George asked steadily, and still trying to speak kindly.
“Since—the end—of April,” Totty sobbed. She
felt it impossible to lie, for her brother’s eyes were fixed
on her face and she was frightened.
“You did, did you? Well, well, that ought to settle
it,” said Craik, breaking into a savage laugh. “I fancy
377it must have been about that time that she began to like
you so much,” he added looking at George.
“About the first of May,” George answered coldly.
“I remember that on that day I met you in the street
and you begged me to go and see Mamie, who was alone.”
“I like men who remember dates,” chuckled the old
man at his elbow.
“I have been very much deceived,” said George. “I
believed it was for myself. It was for money. I have
nothing more to say.”
“You have not asked me whether I knew anything,”
said Mamie, coming before him. Her alabaster skin
was deadly white and her grey eyes were on fire.
“Your mother knows you too well to have told you,”
George answered very kindly. “I have promised to
marry you. I do not suspect you, but I would not
break my word to you, even if I thought that you had
known.”
“It is for me to break my word,” answered the young
girl proudly. “No power on earth shall make me marry
you, now.”
Her lips were tightly pressed to her teeth as she
spoke and she held her head high, though her eyes rested
lovingly on his face.
“Why will you not marry me, Mamie?” George
asked. He knew now that he had never loved her.
“I have had shame already,” she answered. “Shame
in being thrust upon you, shame in having thrust myself
upon you—though not for your money. You never
knew. You asked me once how I knew your moods,
and when you wanted me and when you would choose to
be alone. Ask her, ask my mother. She is wiser than
I. She could tell from your face, long before I could,
what you wished—and we had signals and signs and
passwords, she and I, so that she could help me with
her advice, and teach me how to make myself wanted
by the man I loved. Am I not contemptible? And
when I told you that I loved you—and then made you
378believe that I was only acting, because there was no
response—shame? I have lived with it, fed on it,
dreamed of it, and to-day is the crown of all—my
crown of shame. Marry you? I would rather die!”
“Whatever others may have done, you have always
been brave and true, Mamie,” said George. “It may
be better that we should not marry, but there has been
no shame for you in this matter.”
“I am not so sure,” said Tom Craik with a chuckle
and an ugly smile. “She is cleverer than she looks——”
George turned upon the old man with the utmost
violence.
“Sir!” he cried savagely. “If you say that again I
will break your miserable old bones, if I hang for it!”
“Like that fellow,” muttered Craik with a more
pleasant expression than he had yet worn. “Like him
more and more.”
“I do not want to be liked by you, and you know
why,” George answered, for he had caught the words.
“Oh, you don’t, don’t you? Well, well. Never
mind.”
“No I do not. And what is more, I will tell you
something, Mr. Craik. When you were ill and I called
to inquire, I came because I hoped to learn that you
were dead. That may explain what I feel for you. I
have not had a favourable opportunity of explaining the
matter before, or I would have done so.”
“Good again!” replied the old gentleman. “Like
frankness in young people. Eh, Totty? Eh, Mamie?
Very frank young man, this, eh?”
“Furthermore, Mr. Craik,” continued George, not
heeding him, “I will tell you that I will not lift a finger
to have your money. I do not want it.”
“Exactly. Never enjoyed such sport in my life as
trying to force money on a poor man who won’t take it.
Good that, what? Eh, Totty? Don’t you think this is
fun? Poor old Totty—all broken up! Bear these little
things better myself.”
379Totty was in a fit of hysterics and neither heard nor
heeded, as she lay in the deep chair, sobbing, moaning
and laughing all at once. George eyed her contemptuously.
“Either let us go,” he said to Craik, “and, if you
have exhausted your wit, that would be the best thing;
or else let Mrs. Trimm be taken away. I shall not
leave you here to torment these ladies.”
“Seat in my carriage? Come along!” answered Mr.
Craik with alacrity.
George led Mamie back into the little room beyond.
As they went, he could hear the old man beginning to
rail at his sister again, but he paid no attention. He
felt that he could not leave Mamie without another word.
The young girl followed him in silence. They stood
together near the window, as far out of hearing as possible.
George hesitated.
“What is it, George?” asked Mamie. “Do you want
to say good-bye to me?” She spoke with evident effort.
“I want to say this, dear. If you and I can help it,
not a word of what has happened to-day must ever be
known. I have been deceived, most shamefully, but
not by you. You have been honest and true from first
to last. The best way to keep this secret, is for us two
to marry as though nothing had happened. Nobody
would believe it then. I am afraid that Mr. Craik will
tell some one, because he is so angry.”
“I have told you my decision,” Mamie answered
firmly, though her lips were white. “I have nothing
more to say.”
“Think well of what you are doing. One should not
come to such decisions when one is angry. Here I am,
Mamie. Take me if you will, and forget that all those
things have been said and done.”
For one moment, Mamie hesitated.
“Do you love me?” she asked, trying to read his
heart in his eyes.
But the poor passion that had taken the place of love
380was gone. The knowledge that he had been played with
and gambled for, though not by the girl herself, had
given him a rude shock.
“Yes,” he answered, bravely trying to feel that he
was speaking the truth. But there was no life in the
word.
“No, dear,” said Mamie simply. “You never loved
me. I see it now.”
He would have made some sort of protest. But she
drew back from him, and from his outstretched hand.
“Will you let me be alone?” she asked.
He bowed his head and left the room.
CHAPTER XXVII.
When George had seen old Tom Craik enter his carriage
and drive away from the house, he breathed more
freely. He could not think very connectedly of what
had happened, but it seemed to him that the old man
had played a part quite as contemptible as that which
Totty herself had sustained so long. He would assuredly
not have believed that the terrific anger of which he had
witnessed the explosion was chiefly due to the discovery
of what was intended to be a good action. Craik had
never liked to be found out, and it was especially galling
to him to be exposed in the act of endeavouring to
make amends for the past. But for this consideration,
he would have been quite capable of returning the will
to its place in the cabinet, and of leaving the house
quietly. He would have merely sent for a lawyer and
repeated the document with a new date, to deposit it in
some place to which his sister could not possibly gain
access. But his anger had been aroused in the first
moment by the certainty that Totty had understood his
motives and must secretly despise him for making such
381a restitution of ill-gotten gain. George could not have
comprehended this, and he feared that the old man
should do some irreparable harm if he were left any
longer with the object of his wrath. The look in Craik’s
eyes had not been reassuring, and it was by no means
sure that the whole affair had not finally unsettled his
intellect.
There was little ground for any such fear, however,
as George would have realised if he could have followed
Mr. Craik to his home, and seen how soon he repented
of having endangered his health by giving way to his
wrath. An hour later he was in bed and his favourite
doctor was at his side, watching every pulsation of his
heart and prepared to do battle at the first attack of any
malady which should present itself.
George himself was far less moved by what had
occurred than he would have believed possible. His
first and chief sensation was a sickening disgust with
Totty and with all that recent portion of his life in
which she had played so great a part. He had been
deceived and played with on all sides and his vanity
revolted at the thought of what might have been if
Craik’s discovery had not broken through the veil of
Totty’s duplicity. It made him sick to feel that while
he had fancied himself courted and honoured and chosen
as a son-in-law for his own sake and for the sake of what
he had done in the face of such odds, he had really been
looked upon as an object of speculation, as a thing worth
buying at a cheap price for the sake of its future value.
Beyond this, he felt nothing but a sense of relief at
having been released from his engagement. He had
done his best to act honestly, but he had often feared
that he was deceiving himself and others in the effort to
do what seemed honourable. He did not deny, even
now, that what he had felt for Mamie might in good
time have developed into a real love, but he saw clearly
at last that while his senses had been charmed and his
intelligence soothed, his heart had never been touched.
382Doubts about Mamie herself would present themselves,
though he drove them resolutely away. It was natural
that he should find it hard to realise in her that which
he had never felt during their long intercourse, and
while his instinct told him that the young girl had been
innocent of all her mother’s plotting and scheming, he
said to himself that she would easily recover from her
disappointment. If he was troubled by any regret it
was rather that he should not have left her mother’s
house as soon as he had seen that she was interested,
than that he should have failed to love her as he had
tried to do. On the other hand he admitted that his
conduct had been excusable, considering the pressure
which Totty had brought to bear upon him.
The most unpleasant point in the future was the
explanation which must inevitably take place between
himself and Sherrington Trimm. It would be hard to
imagine a meeting more disagreeable to both parties as
this one was sure to be. There could be no question
about Trimm’s innocence in the whole affair, for his
character was too well known to the world to admit the
least suspicion. But it would be a painful matter to
meet him and talk over what had happened. If possible,
the interview must be avoided, and George determined
to attempt this solution by writing a letter setting
forth his position with the utmost clearness. He turned
up the steps of a club to which he belonged and sat
down to the task.
What he said may be summed up in a few words. He
took it for granted that Trimm would be acquainted with
what had occurred, by the time the letter reached him.
It only remained for him to repeat what he had said to
Mamie herself, to wit, that if she would marry him, he
was ready to fulfil his engagement. He concluded by
saying that he would wait a month for the definite
answer, after which time he intended to go abroad. He
sealed the note and took it with him, intending to send
it to Trimm’s house in the evening. As luck would
383have it, however, he met Trimm himself in the hall of
the club. He had stopped on his way up town to refresh
himself with a certain mild drink of his own devising.
“Hilloa, George!” he cried in his cheery voice.
“What is the matter?” he asked anxiously as he saw
the expression on the other’s face.
“Have you been at home yet?” George asked.
“No.”
“Something very disagreeable has happened. I have
just written you a note. Will you take it with you and
read it after you have heard what they have to say?”
“Confound it all!” exclaimed Sherry Trimm. “I am
not fond of mystery. Come into a quiet room and tell
me all about it.”
“I would rather that you found it out for yourself,”
said George, drawing back.
Sherry Trimm looked keenly at him, and then took
him by the arm.
“Look here, George,” he said, “no nonsense! I do not
know what the trouble is, but I see it is serious. Let
us have it out, right here.”
“Very well,” George answered. “Your wife has
made trouble,” he said, as soon as they were closeted in
one of the small rooms. “You drew up Mr. Craik’s
will, and you kept his secret. When you had gone
abroad, your wife got the will out of the deed-box in
your office and took it home with her. She kept it in
that Indian cabinet and Mr. Craik found it there this
afternoon, and made a fearful scene. Unfortunately
your wife could not find any answer to what he said,
and thereupon Mamie declared that she would not marry
me.”
Sherrington Trimm’s pink face had grown slowly livid
while George was speaking.
“What did Tom say?” he asked quietly.
“He hinted that his sister had not been wholly disinterested
in her kindness to me,” said George. “Unfortunately
Mamie and I were present. I did the best I
could, but the mischief was done.”
384Sherrington said nothing more, but began to walk up
and down the small room nervously, pulling at his short
grizzled moustache from time to time. Like every one
else who had been concerned in the affair, he grasped
the whole situation in a moment.
“This is a miserable business,” he said at last in a
tone that expressed profound humiliation and utter
disgust.
George did not answer, for he was quite of the same
opinion. He stood leaning against a card-table, drumming
with his fingers on the green cloth behind him.
Sherry Trimm paused in his walk, and struck his
clenched fist upon the palm of his other hand. Then he
shook his head and began to pace the floor again.
“An abominable business,” he muttered. “I cannot
see that there is anything to be done, but to beg your
pardon for it all,” he said, suddenly turning to George.
“You need not do that,” George answered readily.
“It is not your fault, Cousin Sherry. All I want to
say, is what I had already written to you. If Mamie
will change her mind and marry me, I am ready.”
Trimm looked at him sharply.
“You are a good fellow, George,” he said. “But I
don’t think I could stand that. You never loved her as
you ought to love to be happy. I saw that long ago and
I guessed that there had been something wrong. You
have been tricked into the whole thing—and—just go
away and leave me here, will you? I cannot stand this.”
George took the outstretched hand and shook it warmly.
Then he left the room and closed the door behind him.
In that moment he pitied Sherrington Trimm far more
than he pitied Mamie herself. He could understand
the man’s humiliation better than the girl’s broken
heart. He went out of the club and turned homewards.
He had yet to communicate the intelligence to his
father, and he was oddly curious to see what the old
gentleman would say. An hour later he had told the
whole story with every detail he could remember, from
385the day when Totty had told him to go and see Mamie
to his recent interview with Sherry Trimm.
“I am sorry for you, George,” said Jonah Wood. “I
am very sorry for you.”
“I think, on the whole, that is more than I can say
for myself,” George answered. “I am far more sorry
for Mamie and her father. It is a relief to me. I would
not have believed it, this morning.”
“Do you mean that you were not in love?”
“Yes. I am just as fond of her as ever. There is
nothing I would not do for her. But I do not want to
marry her and I never did, till that old cat made me
think it was my duty.”
“I should think you would have known what your
duty was, without waiting to be told. I would have
told her mother that I did not love the girl, and I would
have gone the next morning.”
“You are so sensible, father!” George exclaimed. “I
looked at it differently. It seemed to me that if I had
gone so far as to make Mamie believe that I loved her,
I ought to be able to love her in earnest.”
“When you are older, you will know better,” observed
the old gentleman severely. “You have too much imagination.
As for Mr. Craik, he will not leave you his
money now. I doubt if he meant to.”
George went and shut himself up in the little room
which had witnessed so many of his struggles and
disappointments. He sat down in his shabby old easy-chair
and lit a short pipe and fell into a profound
reverie. The unexpected had played a great part in his
life, and as he reviewed the story of the past three
years, he was surprised to find how very different his
own existence had been from that of the average man.
With the exception of his accident on the river and the
scene he had witnessed to-day, nothing really startling
had happened to him in that time, and yet his position
at the present moment was as different from his position
three years earlier as it possibly could be. In that time
386he had risen from total obscurity into the publicity of
reputation, if not of celebrity. He was not fond of
disturbing the mass of papers that encumbered his table,
and there, deep down under the rest were still to be
found rough drafts of his last poor little reviews. Hanging
from one corner there was visible the corrected
“revise” of one of his earliest accepted articles. At
the other end, beneath a piece of old iron which he used
as a paper-weight, lay the manuscript of his first novel,
well thumbed and soiled, and marked at intervals in
pencil with the names of the compositors who had set up
the pages in type. There, upon the table, lay the
accumulated refuse of three years of hard work, of the
three years which had raised him into the public notice.
Much of that work had been done under the influence of
one woman, of one fair young girl who had bent over his
shoulder as he read her page after page, and whose keen,
fresh sight had often detected flaws and errors where he
himself saw no imperfection. She had encouraged him,
had pushed him, and urged him on, in spite of himself,
until he had succeeded, beyond his wildest expectations.
Then he had lost her, because he had thought that she
was bound to marry him. He did not think so now, for
he felt that in that case, too, he had been mistaken, as
in the more recent one he had deceived himself. He had
never been in love. He had never felt what he described
in his own books. His blood had never raced through
his veins for love, as it had often done for anger and
sometimes for mere passing passion. Love had never
taken him and mastered him and carried him away in its
arms beyond all consideration for consequences. It was
not because he was strong. He knew that whatever
people might think of him, he had often been weak, and
had longed to be made strong by a love he could not
feel. He had been ready to yield himself to a belief in
affections which had proved unreal and which had disappointed
himself by their instability and by the ease
with which he had recovered from them. Even in the
387solitude of his own room he was ashamed to own to his
inner consciousness how little he had been moved by
all that had happened to him in those three years.
He thought of Johnson, the pale-faced hardworking
man, whose heart was full of unsatisfied ambition and
who had distanced his competitors by sheer energy and
enthusiasm. He envied the man his belief in himself
and his certainty of slow but sure success. Slow, indeed,
it must be. Johnson had toiled for many years at his
writing to attain the position he occupied, to be considered
a good judge and a ready writer by the few who
knew him, to gain a small but solid reputation in a small
circle. He had worked much harder than George himself,
and yet to-day, George Wood was known and read
where William Johnson had never been heard of. Of
the two Johnson was by far the better satisfied with his
success, though of the two he possessed by very much
the more ambition, in the ordinary acceptation of the
word.
Then George thought of Thomas Craik, and of his
sneer at ambitious men. He had said that there was no
pleasure in possession, but only in getting, getting, getting,
as long as a man had breath; that the wish to excel
other men in anything was a drawback and a disadvantage,
and that nothing in the world was worth having
for its own sake, from money to fame, through all the
catalogue of what is attainable by humanity. And yet,
Thomas Craik was an instance of a very successful man,
who had some right to speak on the subject. Whether
he had got his money by fair means or foul had nothing
to do with the argument. He had it, and he could speak
from experience about the pleasures of possession.
There must be some truth in what he said. George
himself had attained before the age of thirty what many
men labour in vain to reach throughout a lifetime. The
case was similar. Whether he had deserved the reputation
he had so suddenly acquired or not, mattered little.
Many critics said that he had no claim to it. Many
388others said that he deserved more than he got. Whichever
side was right, he had it, as Tom Craik had his
money. Did it give him any satisfaction? None whatever,
beyond the material advantages it brought him,
and which only pleased him because they made him
independent of his father’s help. When he thought of
what he had done, he found no savour of pride in the
reflection, nothing which really flattered his vanity,
nothing to send a thrill of happiness through him. He
was cold, indifferent to all he had done. It would not
have entered his mind to take up one of his own books
and glance over the pages. On the contrary, he felt a
strong repulsion for what he had written, the moment it
was finished. He admitted that he was foolish in this,
as in many other things, and that he would in all likelihood
improve his work by going over it and polishing
it, even by entirely rewriting a great part of it. He
was not deterred from doing so by indolence, for his
rarely energetic temperament loved hard work and
sought it. It was rather a profound dissatisfaction with
all he did which prevented him from expending any
further time upon each performance when he had once
reached the last page. Nothing satisfied him, neither
what he did himself, nor what he saw done by others.
Thinking the matter over in his solitude the inevitable
conclusion seemed to be that he was one of those discontented
beings who can never be pleased with anything,
nor lose themselves in an enthusiasm without picking
to pieces the object that has made him enthusiastic. But
this was not true either. There were plenty of great
works in the world for which he had no criticism, and
which never failed to excite his boundless admiration.
He smiled to himself as he thought that what would
really please him would be to be forced into the same
attitude of respect before one of his own books, into
which he naturally fell before the great masterpieces of
literature. He would have been hard to satisfy, he
thought, if that would not have satisfied him. Was
389that, then, the vision which he was really pursuing? It
was folly to suppose that he would be so mad, and yet,
at that time, he felt that he desired nothing else and
nothing less than that, and since that was absolutely
unattainable, he was condemned to perpetual discontent,
to be borne with the best patience he could find. Beyond
this, he could find no explanation of his feelings about
his own work.
The only other source of happiness of which he could
conceive was love, and this brought him back to his
kindly and grateful memories of Constance Fearing, and
to the more disturbing recollection of his cousin. The
latter, also, had played a part and had occupied a share
in his life. He had watched her more closely than he
had ever watched any one, and had studied her with an
unconsciously unswerving attention which proved how
little he had loved her and how much she had interested
him. He was, indeed, never well aware that he was
subjecting any one to a microscopic intellectual scrutiny,
for he possessed in a high degree the faculty of unintentional
memory. While it cost him a severe effort to
commit to memory a dozen verses of any poet, old or
modern, he could nevertheless recall with faultless accuracy
both sights and conversations which he had seen and
heard, even after an interval of many years, provided
that his interest had been somewhat excited at the time.
The half-active, half-indolent, wholly luxurious life at
his cousin’s house had in the end produced a strong
impression upon him. It had been like an interval of
lotus-eating upon an almost uninhabited island, varied
only by such work as he chose to do at his own leisure
and in his own way. During more than four months
the struggles of the world had been hidden from him,
and had temporarily ceased to play any part in his
thoughts. The dreamy existence spent between flowers
and woods and water, where every want had been anticipated
almost before it was felt, served now as a background
for the picture of the young girl who had been
390so constantly with him, herself as natural as her surroundings,
the incarnation of life and of life’s charm, the
negation of intellectual activity and of the sufferings of
thought, a lovely creature who could only think, reason,
enjoy and suffer with her heart, and whose mind could
acquire but little, and was incapable of giving out. She
had been the central figure and had contributed much to
the general effect, so much, indeed, that under pressure
of circumstances he had been willing to believe that he
could love her enough to marry her. The scene had
changed, the hallucination had vanished and the delusion
was destroyed, but the memory of it all remained,
and now disturbed his recollection of more recent events.
There was a sensuous attraction in the pictures that
presented themselves, from which he could not escape,
but which he for some reason despised and tried to put
away from him, by thinking again of Constance, of the
cold purity of her face, of her over-studied conscientiousness
and of her complete subjection to her sincere
but mistaken self-criticism.
He wondered whether he should ever marry, and what
manner of woman his wife would turn out to be. Of
one thing he was sure. He would not now marry any
woman unless he loved her with all his heart, and he
would not ask her to marry him unless he were already
sure of her love. The third must be the decisive case,
from which he should never desire to withdraw and in
which there should be no disappointment. He thought
of Grace Fearing, and of her marriage and short-lived
happiness with its terribly sudden ending and the
immensity of sorrow that had followed its extinction.
It almost seemed to him as though it would be worth
while to suffer as she suffered if one could have what she
had found; for the love must have been great and deep
and sincere indeed, which could leave such scars where
it had rested. To love a woman so well able to love
would be happiness. She never doubted herself nor
what she felt; all her thoughts were clear, simple and
391strong; she did not analyse herself to know the measure
of her own sincerity, nor was she a woman to be carried
away by a thoughtless passion. She loved and she hated
frankly, sincerely, without a side thought of doubt on
the one hand nor of malice on the other. She was
morally strong without putting on any affectation of
strength, she was clear-sighted without making any
pretence to exceptional intelligence, she was passionate
without folly, and wise without annoyance, she was good,
not sanctimonious, she was dignified without vanity. In
short, as George thought of her, he saw that the woman
who had openly disliked him and opposed him in former
days, was of all the three the one for whom he felt the
most sincere admiration. He remembered now that at
his first meeting with the two sisters he had liked Grace
better than Constance, and would then have chosen her
as the object of his attentions had she been free and
had he foreseen that friendship was to follow upon
intimacy and love on friendship. Unfortunately for
George Wood, and for all who find themselves in a like
situation, that concatenation of events is the one most
rarely foreseen by anybody, and George was fain to
content himself with speculating upon the nature of the
happiness he would have enjoyed had he been loved by
a woman who seemed now to be dead to the whole world
of the affections. It was sufficient to compare her with
her sister to understand that she was, of the two, the
nobler character; it was enough to think of Mamie to
see that in that direction no comparison was even possible.
“It would be strange if it should be my fate to love
her, after all,” George thought. “She would never love
me.”
He roused himself from his reverie and sat down to
his table, by sheer force of habit. Paper and ink were
before him, and his pen lay ready to his hand, where he
had last thrown it down. Almost unconsciously he
began to write, putting down notes of a situation that
392had suddenly presented itself to his mind. The pen
moved along, sometimes running rapidly, sometimes
stopping with an impatient hesitation during which it
continued to move uneasily in the air. Characters
shaped themselves out of the chaos and names sounded
in the willing ear of the writer. The situation which
he had first thought of was all at once transformed into
a detail in a second and larger action, another possibility
started up out of darkness, in brilliant clearness, and
absorbed the matters already thought of into itself,
broadening and strengthening every moment. Whole
chapters now stood out as if already written, and in their
places. A detail here, another there, to be changed or
adapted, one glance at the whole, one or two names
spoken aloud to see how they sounded in the stillness,
a pause of a moment, a fresh sheet of paper, and George
Wood was launched upon the first chapter of a new
novel, forgetful of Grace, of Constance Fearing and even
of poor Mamie herself and of all that had happened only
two or three hours earlier.
He was writing, working with passionate and all-absorbing
interest at the expression of his fancies.
What he did was good, well thought, clearly expressed,
harmoniously composed. When it was given to the
public it was spoken of as the work of a man of heart,
full of human sympathy and understanding. At the
time when he was inventing the plot and writing down
the beginning of his story, a number of people intimately
connected with his life were all in one way or another
suffering acutely and he himself was the direct or indirect
cause of all their sufferings. He was neither a cruel
man, nor thoughtless nor unkind, but he was for the
time utterly unconscious of the outer world, and if not
happy at least profoundly interested in what he was
doing.
During that hour, Sherrington Trimm, pale and nervous,
was walking up and down his endless beat in the
little room at the club where George had left him, trying
393to master his anger and disgust before going home
to meet his wife and the inevitable explanation which
must ensue. The servant came in and lit the gaslight
and stirred the fire but Trimm never saw him nor varied
the monotony of his walk.
At his own house, things were no better. Totty, completely
broken down, by the failure of all her plans and
the disclosure of her discreditable secret, had recovered
enough from her hysterics to be put to bed by her faithful
maid, who was surprised to find that, as all signs fail
in fair weather, none of the usual remedies could extract
a word of satisfaction or an expression of relief from
her mistress. Down stairs, in the little boudoir where
she had last seen the man she loved, Mamie was lying
stretched upon the divan, dry eyed, with strained lips
and blanched cheeks, knowing nothing save that her
passion had dashed itself to pieces against a rock in the
midst of its fairest voyage.
In another house, far distant, Grace Bond was leaning
against a broad chimney-piece, a half-sorrowful, half-contemptuous
smile upon her strong sad face, as she
thought of all her sister’s changes and vacillations and
of the aimlessness of the fair young life. Above, in her
own room, Constance Fearing was kneeling and praying
with all her might, though she hardly knew for what,
while the bright tears flowed down her thin cheeks in an
unceasing stream.
“And yet, when he came to life, he called me first!”
she cried, stretching out her hands and looking upward
as though protesting against the injustice of Heaven.
And in yet another place, in a magnificent chamber,
where the softened light played upon rich carvings and
soft carpets, an old man lay dying of his last fit of anger.
All for the sake of George Wood who, conscious that
many if not all were in deep trouble, anxiety or suffering,
was driving his pen unceasingly from one side of a
piece of paper to the other, with an expression of keen
interest on his dark face, and a look of eager delight in
394his eyes such as a man may show who is hunting an
animal of value and who is on the point of overtaking
his prey.
But for the accident of thought which had thrown a
new idea into the circulation of his brain, he would still
have been sitting in his shabby easy-chair, thoughtfully
pulling at his short pipe and thinking of all those persons
whom he had seen that day, kindly of some, unkindly
of others, but not deaf to all memories and shut off from
all sympathy by something which had suddenly arisen
between himself and the waking, suffering world.
CHAPTER XXVIII.
The sun shines alike upon the just and the unjust, and
it would seem to follow that all men should be judged
by the same measure in the more important actions and
emotions of their lives. To apply the principle of a
double standard to mankind is to run the risk of producing
some very curious results in morality. And yet,
there are undoubtedly cases in which a man has a claim
to special consideration and, as it were, to a trial by a
special jury. There have been many great statesmen
whose private practice in regard to financial transactions
has been more than shady, and there have been others
whose private lives have been spotless, but whose political
doings have been unscrupulous in the extreme. There
are professions and careers in which it is sufficient to
act precisely as all others engaged in the same occupation
would act, and in which the most important element
of success is a happy faculty of keeping the brain power
at the same unvarying pressure, neither high nor low,
but always ready to be used, and in such a state that it
may always be relied upon to perform the same amount
of work in a given time. There are other occupations
395in which there are necessarily moments of enormous
activity at uncertain intervals, followed by periods of
total relaxation and rest. One might divide all careers
roughly into two classes, and call the one the continuous
class and the other the intermittent. The profession of
the novelist falls within the latter division. Very few
men or women who have written well have succeeded in
reducing the exercise of their art to a necessary daily
function of the body. Very few intellectual machines
can be made to bear the strain of producing works of
imagination in regular quantities throughout many years
at an unvarying rate, day after day. Neither the brain
nor the body will bear it, and if the attempt be made
either the one or the other, or both, will ultimately
suffer. Without being necessarily spasmodic, the storyteller’s
activity is almost unavoidably intermittent.
There are men who can take up the pen and drive it
during seven, eight and even nine hours a day for six
weeks or two months and who, having finished their
story, either fall into a condition of indolent apathy
until the next book has to be written, or return at once
to some favourite occupation which produces no apparent
result, and of which the public has never heard. There
are many varieties of the genus author. There is the
sailor author, who only comes ashore to write his book
and puts to sea again as soon as it is in the publisher’s
hands. There is the hunting author, who as in the
case of Anthony Trollope, keeps his body in such condition
that he can do a little good work every day of the
year, a great and notable exception to the rule. There
is the student author, whose laborious work of exegesis
will never be heard of, but who interrupts it from time
to time in order to produce a piece of brilliant fiction,
returning to his Sanscrit each time with renewed interest
and industry. There is the musical author, whose
preference would have led him to be a professional
musician, but who had not quite enough talent for it, or
not quite enough technical facility or whose musical
396education began a little too late. There is the adventurous
author, who shoots in Africa or has a habit of
spending the winter in eastern Siberia. There is the
artistic author, who may be found in out-of-the-way
towns in Italy, patiently copying old pictures, as though
his life depended upon his accuracy, or sketching ragged
boys and girls in very ragged water-colour. There is
the social author—and he is not always the least successful
in his profession—who is a favourite everywhere,
who can dance and sing and act, and who regards
the occasional production of a novel as an episode in his
life. There is the author who prepares himself many
months beforehand for what he intends to do by frequenting
the society, whether high or low, which he wishes to
depict, who writes his book in one month of the year
and spends the other eleven in observing the manners
and customs of men and women. There is the author
who lives in solitary places and evolves his characters
out of his inner consciousness and who occasionally
descends, manuscript in hand, from his inaccessible fastnesses
and ravages all the coasts of Covent Garden,
Henrietta Street and the Strand, until he has got his
price and disappears as suddenly as he came, taking his
gold with him, no man knows whither. There is the
author whom no man can boast of having ever seen, who
never answers a letter, nor gives an autograph, nor lets
any one but his publisher know where he lives, but
whose three volumes appear punctually twice a year and
whose name is familiar in many mouths. Unless he is
to be found described in an encyclopædia you will never
know whether he is old or young, black or grey, good-looking
or ugly, straight or hunchbacked. He is to you
a vague, imaginary personage, surrounded by a pillar of
cloud. In reality he is perhaps a fat little man of fifty,
who wears gold-rimmed spectacles and has discovered
that he can only write if he lives in one particular
Hungarian village with a name that baffles pronunciation,
and whose chief interest in life lies in the study
397of socialism or the cholera microbe. Then again, there
is the fighting author, grim, grey and tough as a Toledo
blade, who has ridden through many a hard-fought field
in many lands and has smelled more gunpowder in his
time than most great generals, out of sheer love for the
stuff. There is also the pacific author, who frequents
peace congresses and makes speeches in favour of a
general disarming of all nations. There are countless
species and varieties of the genus. There is even the
poet author, who writes thousands of execrable verses in
secret and produces exquisite romances in prose only
because he can do nothing else.
If we admit that novels, on the whole, are a good to
society at large, as most people, excepting authors themselves,
are generally ready to admit, we grant at the
same time that they must be produced by individuals
possessing the necessary talents and characteristics of
intelligence. And if it is shown that a majority of
these individuals do their work in a somewhat erratic
fashion, and behave somewhat erratically while they are
doing it, such defects must be condoned, at least, if not
counted to them for positive righteousness. With many
of them the appearance of a new idea within the field of
their mental vision is equivalent to a command to write,
which they are neither able nor anxious to resist; and,
if they are men of talent, it is very hard for them to
turn their attention to anything else until the idea is
expressed on paper. Let them not be thought heartless
or selfish if they sometimes seem to care nothing for
what happens around them while they are subject to the
imperious domination of the new idea. They are neither
the one nor the other. They are simply unconscious,
like a man in a cataleptic trance. The plainest language
conveys no meaning to their abstracted comprehension,
the most startling sights produce no impression upon
their sense; they are in another world, living and talking
with unseen creations of their own fancy and for the
time being they are not to be considered as ordinary
398human beings, nor judged by the standard to which other
men are subject.
It would not therefore be just to say that during the
days which followed the breaking off of his engagement
with Mamie Trimm, George Wood was cruel or unfeeling
because he was wholly unconscious of her existence
throughout the greater part of each twenty-four hours.
By a coincidence which he would certainly not have
invoked, a train of thought had begun its course in his
brain within an hour or two of the catastrophe, and he
was powerless to stop himself in the pursuit of it until
he had reached the end. During nine whole days he
never left the house, and scarcely went out of his room
except to eat his meals, which he did in a summary fashion
without wasting time in superfluous conversation.
On the morning of the tenth day he knew that he was at
the last chapter and he sat down at his table in that
state of mind to which a very young author is brought
by a week and a half of unceasing fatigue and excitement.
The room swam with him, and he could see
nothing distinctly except his paper, the point of his pen,
and the moving panorama in his brain, of which it was
essential to catch every detail before it had passed into
the outer darkness from which ideas cannot be brought
back. His hand was icy cold, moist and unsteady and
his face was pale, the eyelids dark and swollen, and
the veins on the temples distended. He moved his feet
nervously as he wrote, shrugged his left shoulder with
impatience at the slightest hesitation about the use of a
word, and his usually imperturbable features translated
into expression every thought, as rapidly as he could
put it into words with his pen. The house might have
burned over his head, and he would have gone on writing
until the paper under his hand was on fire. No
ordinary noise would have reached his ears, conscious
only of the scratching of the steel point upon the smooth
sheet. He could have worked as well in the din of a
public room in a hotel, or in the crowded hall of a great
399railway station, as in the silence and solitude of his own
chamber. He had reached the point of abstraction at
which nothing is of the slightest consequence to the
writer provided that the ink will flow and the paper will
not blot. Like a skilled swordsman, he was conscious
only of his enemy’s eye and of the state of the weapons.
The weapons were pen, ink and paper, and the enemy
was the idea to be pursued, overtaken, pierced and
pinned down before it could assume another shape, or
escape again into chaos. The sun rose above the little
paved brick court below his window, and began to shine
into the window itself. Then a storm came up and the
sky turned suddenly black, while the wind whistled
through the yard with that peculiarly unnatural sound
which it makes in great cities, so different from its sighing
and moaning and roaring amongst trees and rocks.
The first snowflakes were whirled against the panes of
glass and slid down to the frame in half-transparent
patches. The wind sank again, and the snow fluttered
silently down like the unwinding of an endless lace
curtain from above. Then, the flakes were suddenly
illuminated by a burst of sunshine and melted as they
fell and turned to bright drops of water in the air, and
then vanished again, and the small piece of sky above
the great house on the other side of the yard was once
more clear and blue, as a sapphire that has been dipped
in pure water. It was afternoon, and George was
unconscious of the many changes of the day, unconscious
that he had not eaten nor drunk since morning, and that
he had even forgotten to smoke. One after another the
pages were numbered, filled and tossed aside, as he went
on, never raising his head nor looking away from his
work lest he should lose something of the play upon
which all his faculties were inwardly concentrated, and
of which it was his business to transcribe every word,
and to note every passing attitude and gesture of the
actors who were performing for his benefit.
Some one knocked at the door, gently at first and then
400more loudly. Then, receiving no answer, the person’s
footsteps could be heard retreating towards the landing.
The firing of a cannon in the room would hardly have
made George turn his head at that moment, much less
the rapping of a servant’s knuckles upon a wooden panel.
Several minutes elapsed, and then heavier footsteps were
heard again, and the latch was turned and the door
moved noiselessly on its hinges. Jonah Wood’s iron-grey
head appeared in the opening. George had heard
nothing and during several seconds the old gentleman
watched him curiously. He had the greatest consideration
for his son’s privacy when at work, though he could
not readily understand the terribly disturbing effect of
an interruption upon a brain so much more sensitively
organised than his own. Now, however, the case was
serious, and George must be interrupted, cost what it
might. He was evidently unconscious that any one was
in the room, and his back was turned as he sat. Jonah
Wood resolved to be cautious.
“George!” he whispered, rather hoarsely. But George
did not hear.
There was nothing to be done but to cross the room
and rouse him. The old man stepped as softly as he
could upon the uncarpeted wooden floor, and placed
himself between the light and the writer. George
looked up and started violently, so that his pen flew
into the air and fell upon the boards. At the same
time he uttered a short, sharp cry, neither an oath nor
exclamation, but a sound such as a man might make who
is unexpectedly and painfully wounded in battle. Then
he saw his father and laughed nervously.
“You frightened me. I did not see you come in,” he
said quickly.
“I am sorry,” said his father, not understanding at all
how a man usually calm and courageous could be so
easily startled. “It is rather important, or I would not
interrupt you. Mr. Sherrington Trimm is down stairs.”
“What does he want?” George asked vaguely and
401looking as though he had forgotten who Sherrington
Trimm was.
“He wants you, my boy. You must go down at once.
It is very important. Tom Craik was buried yesterday.”
“Buried!” exclaimed George. “I did not know he
was dead.”
“I understand that he died several days ago, in consequence
of that fit of anger he had. You remember?
What is the matter with you, George?”
“Cannot you see what is the matter?” George cried
a little impatiently. “I am just finishing my book.
What if the old fellow is dead? He has had plenty of
leisure to change his will—in all this time. What does
Sherry want?”
“He did not change his will, and Mr. Trimm wants
to read it to you. George, you do not seem to realise
that you are a very rich man, a very, very rich man,”
repeated Jonah Wood with weighty emphasis.
“It will do quite as well if he reads the confounded
thing to you,” said George, picking up his pen from the
floor beside him, examining the point and then dipping
it into the ink.
He was never quite sure how much of his indifference
was assumed and how much of it was real, resulting
from his extreme impatience to finish his work. But to
Jonah Wood, it had all the appearance of being genuine.
“I am surprised, George,” said the old gentleman,
looking very grave. “Are you in your right mind?
Are you feeling quite well? I am afraid this good news
has upset you.”
George rose from the table with a look of disgust,
bent down and looked over the last lines he had written,
and then stood up.
“If nothing else will satisfy anybody, I suppose I
must go down,” he said regretfully. “Why did not the
old brute leave the money to you instead of to me? You
do not imagine I am going to keep it, do you? Most of
it is yours anyhow.”
402“I understand,” answered Jonah Wood, pushing him
gently towards the door, “that the estate is large enough
to cover what I lost four or five times over, if not more.
It is very important——”
“Do you mean to say it is as much as that?” George
asked in some surprise.
“That seems to be the impression,” answered his
father with an odd laugh, which George had not heard
for many years. Jonah Wood was ashamed of showing
too much satisfaction. It was his principle never to
make any exhibition of his feelings, but his voice could
not be altogether controlled, and there was an unusual
light in his eyes. George, who by this time had collected
his senses, and was able to think of something
besides his story, saw the change in his father’s face and
understood it.
“It will be jolly to be rich again, won’t it, father?” he
said, familiarly and with more affection than he generally
showed by manner or voice.
“Very pleasant, very pleasant indeed,” answered
Jonah Wood with the same odd laugh. “Mr. Trimm
tells me he has left you the house as it stands with
everything in it, and the horses—everything. I must
say, George, the old man has made amends for all he did.
It looks very like an act of conscience.”
“Amends? Yes, with compound interest for a dozen
years or more, if all this is true. Well, here goes the
millionaire,” he exclaimed as they left the room together.
It would be hard to imagine a position more completely
disagreeable than that in which Sherrington
Trimm was placed on that particular afternoon. It was
bad enough to have to meet George at all after what had
happened, but it was most unpleasant to appear as the
executor of the very will which had caused so much
trouble, to feel that he was bringing to the heir the very
document which his wife had stolen out of his own office,
and handing over to him the fortune which his wife had
403tried so hard to bring into his own daughter’s hands.
But Sherrington Trimm’s reputation for honesty and his
courageous self-possession had carried him through many
difficult moments in life, and he would never have
thought of deputing any one else to fulfil the repugnant
task in his stead.
Jonah Wood left his son at the door of the sitting-room
and discreetly disappeared. George went in and
found the lawyer standing before the fire with a roll of
papers in his hands. He was a little pale and careworn,
but his appearance was as neat and dapper and brisk as
ever.
“George,” he said frankly as he took his hand, “poor
Tom has left you everything, as he said he would. Now,
I can quite imagine that the sight of me is not exactly
pleasant to you. But business is business and this has
got to be put through, so just consider that I am the
lawyer and forget that I am Sherry Trimm.”
“I shall never forget that you are Sherry Trimm,”
George answered. “You and I can avoid unpleasant
subjects and be as good friends as ever.”
“You are a good fellow, George. The best proof of
it is that not a word has been breathed about this affair.
We have simply announced that the engagement is
broken off.”
“Then Mamie has refused to change her mind,” observed
George, wondering how he could ever have been
engaged to marry her, and how he could have forgotten
that at his last meeting with Sherry Trimm he had still
left the matter open, refusing to withdraw his promise.
But between that day and this he had lived through many
emotions and changing scenes in the playhouse of his
brain, and his own immediate past seemed immensely
distant from his present.
“Mamie would not change her mind, if I would let
her,” Trimm answered briefly. “Let us get to business.
Here is the will. I opened it yesterday after the funeral
in the presence of the family and the witnesses as usual
in such cases.”
404“Excuse me,” George said. “I am very glad that I
was not present, but would it not have been proper to let
me know?”
“It would have been, of course. But as there was no
obligation in the matter, I did not. I supposed that you
would hear of the death almost as soon as it was known.
You and your father were known to be on bad terms with
Tom and if you had been sent for it would have looked
as though we had all known what was in the will. People
would have supposed in that case that you must have
known it also, and you would have been blamed for not
treating the old gentleman with more consideration than
you did. I have often heard you say sharp things about
him at the club. This is a surprise to you. There is no
reason for letting anybody suppose that it is not. A lot of
small good reasons made one big good one between them.”
“I see,” said George. “Thank you. You were very
wise.”
He took the document from Trimm’s hands and read
it hastily. The touch of it was disagreeable to him as
he remembered where he had last seen it.
“I had supposed that he would make another after
what I said to him,” George remarked. “You are quite
sure he did not?”
“Positive. He never allowed it to be out of his sight
after he found it. It was under his pillow when he died.
The last words that anybody could understand were to
the effect that you should have the money, whether you
wanted it or not. It was a fixed idea with him. I suppose
you know why. He felt that some of it belonged
to your father by right. The transaction by which he
got it was legal—but peculiar. There are peculiarities
in my wife’s family.”
Sherry Trimm looked away and pulled his grizzled
moustache nervously.
“There will be a good many formalities,” he continued.
“Tom owned property in several different
States. I have brought you the schedule. You can have
405possession in New York immediately, of course. It will
take some little time to manage the rest, proving the will
half a dozen times over. If you care to move into the
house to-morrow, there is no objection, because there is
nobody to object.”
“I have a proposition to make,” said George. “My
father is a far better man of business than I. Could you
not tell me in round numbers about what I have to expect,
and then go over these papers with him?”
“In round numbers,” repeated Trimm thoughtfully.
“The fact is, he managed a great deal of his property
himself. I suppose I could tell you within a million or
two.”
“A million or two!” exclaimed George. Sherry
Trimm smiled at the intonation.
“You are an enormously rich man,” he said quietly.
“The estate is worth anywhere from twelve to fifteen
millions of dollars.”
“All mine?”
“Look at the will. He never spent a third of his
income, so far as I could find out.”
George said nothing more, but began to walk up and
down the room nervously. He detested everything connected
with money, and had only a relative idea of its
value, but he was staggered by the magnitude of the fortune
thus suddenly thrown into his hands. He understood
now the expression he had seen on his father’s
face.
“I had no conception of the amount,” he said at last.
“I thought it might be a million.”
“A million!” laughed Trimm scornfully. “A man
does not live, as he lived, on forty or fifty thousand a
year. It needs more than that. A million is nothing
nowadays. Every man who wears a good coat has a
million. There is not a man living in Fifth Avenue
who has less than a million.”
“I wonder how it looks on paper,” said George. “I
will try and go through the schedule with you myself.”
406An hour later George was once more in his room. For
a few moments he stood looking through the window at
the old familiar brick wall and at the windows of the
house beyond, but his reflections were very vague and
shapeless. He could not realise his position nor his
importance, as he drummed a tattoo on the glass with
his nails. He was trying to think of the changes that
were inevitable in the immediate future, of his life in
another house, of the faces of his old acquaintances and
of the expression some of them would wear. He wondered
what Johnson would say. The name, passing
through his mind, recalled his career, his work and the
unfinished chapter that lay on the table behind him. In
an instant his brain returned to the point at which he
had been interrupted. Tom Craik, Sherry Trimm, the
will and the millions vanished into darkness, and before
he was fairly aware of it he was writing again.
The days were short and he was obliged to light the
old kerosene lamp with the green shade which had served
him through so many hours of labour and study. The
action was purely mechanical and did not break his
train of thought, nor did it suggest that in a few months
he would think it strange that he should ever have been
obliged to do such a thing for himself. He wrote steadily
on to the end, and signed his name and dated the manuscript
before he rose from his seat. Then he stretched
himself, yawned and looked at his watch, returned to
the table and laid the sheets neatly together in their
order with the rest and put the whole into a drawer.
“That job is done,” he said aloud, in a tone of profound
satisfaction. “And now, I can think of something
else.”
Thereupon, without as much as thinking of resting
himself after the terrible strain he had sustained during
ten days, he proceeded to dress himself with a scrupulous
care for the evening, and went down stairs to dinner.
He found his father in his accustomed place
before the fire, reading as usual, and holding his heavy
407book rigidly before his eyes in a way that would have
made an ordinary man’s hand ache.
“I have finished my book!” cried George as he entered
the room.
“Ah, I am delighted to hear it. Do you mean to say
that you have been writing all the afternoon since Mr.
Trimm went away?”
“Until half an hour ago.”
“Well, you have exceptionally strong nerves,” said
the old gentleman, mechanically raising his book again.
Then as though he were willing to make a concession to
circumstances for once in his life, he closed it with a
solemn clapping sound and laid it down.
“George, my boy,” he said impressively, “you are
enormously wealthy. Do you realise the fact?”
“I am also enormously hungry,” said George with a
laugh. “Is there any cause or reason in the nature of
the cook or of anything else why you and I should not be
fed?”
“To tell the truth, I had a little surprise for you,”
answered his father. “I thought we ought to do something
to commemorate the event, so I went out and got a
brace of canvas-backs from Delmonico’s and a bottle of
good wine. Kate is roasting the ducks and the champagne
is on the ice. It was a little late when I got back—sorry
to keep you waiting, my boy.”
“Sorry!” cried George. “The idea of being sorry
for anything when there are canvas-backs and champagne
in the house. You dear old man! I will pay you
for this, though. You shall live on the fat of the land
for the rest of your days!”
“Enough is as good as a feast,” observed Jonah Wood
with great gravity.
“What roaring feasts we will have—or what stupendously
plentiful enoughs, if you like it better! Father,
you are better already. I heard you laugh to-day as you
used to laugh when I was a boy.”
“A little prosperity will do us both good,” said the old
gentleman, who was rapidly warming into geniality.
408“I say,” suggested George. “I have finished my book,
and you have nothing to do. Let us pack up our traps
and go to Paris and paint the town a vivid scarlet.”
“What?” asked Jonah Wood, to whom slang had
always been a mystery.
“Paint the town red,” repeated George. “In short,
have a spree, a lark, a jollification, you and I.”
“I would like to see Paris again, well enough, if that
is what you mean. By the way, George, your heart does
not seem to trouble you much, just at present.”
“Why should it? I sometimes wish it would, in the
right direction.”
“You have your choice now, George, you have your
choice, now, of the whole female population of the
globe——”
“Of all the girls beside the water, From Janeiro to
Gibraltar, as the old song says,” laughed George.
“Precisely so. You can have any of them for the asking.
Money is a great power, my boy, a great power.
You must be careful how you use it.”
“I shall not use it. I shall give it all to you to spend
because it will amuse you, and I will go on writing
books because that is the only thing I can do approximately
well. Do you know? I believe I shall be ridiculous
in the character of the rich man.”
CHAPTER XXIX.
Three years later George Wood was sitting alone on a
winter’s afternoon in the library where Thomas Craik
had once given him his views on life in general and on
ambition in particular. It was already almost dark, for
the days were very short, and two lamps shed a soft light
from above upon the broad polished table.
The man’s face had changed during the years that had
409passed since he had found himself free from his engagement
to marry his cousin. The angular head had grown
more massive, the shadows about the eyes and temples
had deepened, the complexion was paler and less youthful,
the expression more determined than ever, and yet
more kind and less scornful. In those years he had
seen much and had accomplished much, and he had
learned to know at last what it meant to feel with the
heart, instead of with the sensibilities, human or artistic.
His money had not spoiled him. On the contrary, the
absence of all preoccupations in the matter of his material
welfare, had left the man himself free to think, to
act and to feel according to his natural instincts.
At the present moment he was absorbed in thought.
The familiar sheet of paper lay before him, and he held
his pen in his hand, but the point had long been dry, and
had long ceased to move over the smooth surface. There
was a number at the top of the page, and a dozen lines
had been written, continuing a conversation that had
gone before. But the imaginary person had broken off
in the middle of his saying, and in the theatre of the
writer’s fancy the stage of his own life had suddenly
appeared, and his own self was among the players, acting
the acts and speaking the speeches of long ago, while
the owner of the old self watched and listened to the
piece with fascinated interest, commenting critically
upon what passed before his eyes, and upon the words
that rang through the waking dream. The habit of
expression was so strong that his own thoughts took
shape as though he were writing them down.
“They have played the parts of the three fates in my
life,” he said to himself. “Constance was my Clotho,
Mamie was my Lachesis—Grace is my Atropos. I was
not so heartless in those first days, as I have sometimes
fancied that I was. I loved my Clotho, after a young
fashion. She took me out of darkness and chaos and
made me an active, real being. When I see how
wretchedly unhappy I used to be, and when I think how
410she first showed me that I was able to do something in
the world, it does not seem strange that I should have
worshipped her as a sort of goddess. If things had gone
otherwise, if she had taken me instead of refusing me
on that first of May, if I had married her, we might
have been very happy together, for a time, perhaps for
always. But we were unlike in the wrong way; our
points of difference did not complement each other.
She has married Dr. Drinkwater, the Reverend Doctor
Drinkwater, a good man twenty years older than herself,
and she seems perfectly contented. The test of fitness
lies in reversing the order of events. If to-day her good
husband were to die, could I take his place in her love
or estimation? Certainly not. If Grace had married
the clergyman, could Constance have been to me what
Grace is, could I have loved her as I love this woman
who will never love me? Assuredly not; the thing is
impossible. I loved Constance with one half of myself,
and as far as I went I was in earnest. Perhaps it was
the higher, more intellectual part of me, for I did not
love her because she was a woman, but because she was
unlike all other women—in other words, a sort of angel.
Angels may have loved women in the days of the giants,
but no man can love an angel as a woman ought to be
loved. As for me, my ears are wearied by too much
angelic music, the harmonies are too thin and delicate,
the notes lack character, the melodies all end in one
close. I used to think that there was no such thing as
friendship. I have changed my mind. Constance is a
very good friend to me, and I to her, though neither of
us can understand the other’s life any longer, as we
understood each other when she took up the distaff of
my life and first set the spindle whirling.
“Was I heartless with poor Mamie? I suppose I was,
because I made her believe for a while that I loved her.
Let us be honest. I felt something, I made myself
believe that I felt something which was like love. It
was of the baser kind. It was the temptation of the
411eye, the fascination of a magnetic vitality, the flattery
of my vanity in seeing myself so loved. I lived for
months in an enchanted palace in an enchanted garden,
where she was the enchantress. Everything contributed
to awaken in me the joy of mere life, the belief that
reality was better than romance, and that, in love, it
was better to receive than to give. I was like a man in
a badly conceived novel, with whom everything rests on
a false basis, in which the scenery is false, the passion
is false, and the belief in the future is most false of all.
And how commonplace it all seems, as I look back upon
it. I do not remember to have once felt a pain like a
knife just under the heart, in all that time, though my
blood ran fast enough sometimes. And it all went on
so smoothly as Lachesis let the thread spin through her
pretty fingers. Who would have believed that a man
could be at once so fooled and so loved? I was sorry
that I could not love her, even after we knew all that
her mother had done. I remember that I began a book
on that very day. Heartless of me, was it not? If she
had been Grace I should never have written again. But
she was only Lachesis; the thread turned under her
hand, and spun on in spite of her, and in spite of itself—to
its end.
“Grace is the end. There can be no loving after this.
My father tells me that I am working too hard and that
I am growing prematurely old. It is not the work that
does it. It is something that wears out the life from
the core. And yet I would not be without it. There is
that thrust again, that says I am not deceiving myself.
Grace holds the thread and will neither cut it, nor let
it run on through her fingers. Heaven knows, I am not
a sentimental man! But for the physical pain I feel
when I think of losing her, I should laugh at myself
and let her slip down to the middle distance of other
memories, not quite out of sight, nor yet quite out of
mind, but wholly out of my heart. I have tried it many
a time, but the trouble grows instead of wearing out. I
412have tried wandering about the earth in most known
and unknown directions. It never did me any good. I
wonder whether she knows! After all it will be four
years next summer since poor John Bond was drowned,
and everybody says she has forgotten him. But she is
not a woman who forgets, any more than she is one to
waste her life in a perpetual mourning. To speak may
be to cut the thread. That would be the end, indeed!
I should see her after that, of course, but it would never
be the same again. She would know my secret then and
all would be over, the hours together, the talks, the
touch of hands that means so much to me and so little to
her. And yet, to know—to know at last the end of it
all—and the great ‘perhaps’ the great ‘if’—if she
should! But there is no ‘perhaps,’ and there can be no
‘if.’ She is my fate, and it is my fate that there should
be no end to this, but the end of life itself. Better so.
Better to have loved ever so unhappily, than to have
been married to any of the Constances or the Mamies of
this world! Heigho—I suppose people think that there
is nothing I cannot have for my money! Nothing?
There is all that could make life worth living, and
which millions cannot buy!”
The curtain fell before the little stage, and the eyes
of the lonely man closed with an expression of intense
pain, as he let his forehead rest in the palm of his hand.
Typography by J. S. Cushing & Co., Boston, U.S.A.
Presswork by Berwick & Smith, Boston, U.S.A.
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