A quick stop at supply and record sections gave me everything I needed.
The sun was barely clear of the horizon when the silver barb of my ship
lifted in the gray field, then blasted into space.
The trip took only a few days, more than enough time to memorize
everything I needed to know about Cittanuvo. And the more I knew the
less I could understand their need for a battleship. It didn't fit.
Cittanuvo was a secondary settlement out of the Cellini system, and I
had run into these settlements before. They were all united in a loose
alliance and bickered a lot among themselves, but never came to blows.
If anything, they shared a universal abhorrence of war.
Yet they were secretly building a battleship.
Since I was only chasing my tail with this line of thought, I put it
out of my mind and worked on some tri-di chess problems. This filled
the time until Cittanuvo blinked into the bow screen.
One of my most effective mottoes has always been, "Secrecy can be an
obviousity." What the magicians call misdirection. Let people very
obviously see what you want them to see, then they'll never notice what
is hidden. This was why I landed at midday, on the largest field on
the planet, after a very showy approach. I was already dressed for my
role, and out of the ship before the landing braces stopped vibrating.
Buckling the fur cape around my shoulders with the platinum clasp, I
stamped down the ramp. The sturdy little M-3 robot rumbled after me
with my bags. Heading directly towards the main gate, I ignored the
scurry of activity around the customs building. Only when a uniformed
under-official of some kind ran over to me, did I give the field any
attention.
Before he could talk I did, foot in the door and stay on top.
"Beautiful planet you have here. Delightful climate! Ideal spot for a
country home. Friendly people, always willing to help strangers and
all that I imagine. That's what I like. Makes me feel grateful. Very
pleased to meet you. I am the Grand Duke Sant' Angelo." I shook his
hand enthusiastically at this point and let a one hundred credit note
slip into his palm.
"Now," I added, "I wonder if you would ask the customs agents to look
at my bags here. Don't want to waste time, do we? The ship is open,
they can check that whenever they please."
My manner, clothes, jewelry, the easy way I passed money around and the
luxurious sheen of my bags, could mean only one thing. There was little
that was worth smuggling into or out of Cittanuvo. Certainly nothing a
rich man would be interested in. The official murmured something with a
smile, spoke a few words into his phone, and the job was done.
A small wave of customs men hung stickers on my luggage, peeked into
one or two for conformity's sake, and waved me through. I shook hands
all around—a rustling handclasp of course—then was on my way. A cab
was summoned, a hotel suggested. I nodded agreement and settled back
while the robot loaded the bags about me.
The ship was completely clean. Everything I might need for the job
was in my luggage. Some of it quite lethal and explosive, and very
embarrassing if it were discovered in my bags. In the safety of my
hotel suite I made a change of clothes and personality. After the robot
had checked the rooms for bugs.
And very nice gadgets too, these Corps robots. It looked and acted like
a moron M-3 all the time. It was anything but. The brain was as good as
any other robot brain I have known, plus the fact that the chunky body
was crammed with devices and machines of varying use. It chugged slowly
around the room, moving my bags and laying out my kit. And all the time
following a careful route that covered every inch of the suite. When it
had finished it stopped and called the all-clear.
"All rooms checked. Results negative except for one optic bug in that
wall."
"Should you be pointing like that?" I asked the robot. "Might make
people suspicious, you know."
"Impossible," the robot said with mechanical surety. "I brushed against
it and it is now unserviceable."
With this assurance I pulled off my flashy clothes and slipped into
the midnight black dress uniform of an admiral in the League Grand
Fleet. It came complete with decorations, gold bullion, and all the
necessary documents. I thought it a little showy myself, but it was
just the thing to make the right impression on Cittanuvo. Like many
other planets, this one was uniform-conscious. Delivery boys, street
cleaners, clerks—all had to have characteristic uniforms. Much
prestige attached to them, and my black dress outfit should rate as
high as any uniform in the galaxy.
A long cloak would conceal the uniform while I left the hotel, but the
gold-encrusted helmet and a brief case of papers were a problem. I had
never explored all the possibilities of the pseudo M-3 robot, perhaps
it could be of help.
"You there, short and chunky," I called. "Do you have any concealed
compartments or drawers built into your steel hide? If so, let's see."
For a second I thought the robot had exploded. The thing had more
drawers in it than a battery of cash registers. Big, small, flat, thin,
they shot out on all sides. One held a gun and two more were stuffed
with grenades; the rest were empty. I put the hat in one, the brief
case in another and snapped my fingers. The drawers slid shut and its
metal hide was as smooth as ever.
I pulled on a fancy sports cap, buckled the cape up tight, and was
ready to go. The luggage was all booby-trapped and could defend itself.
Guns, gas, poison needles, the usual sort of thing. In the last resort
it would blow itself up. The M-3 went down by a freight elevator. I
used a back stairs and we met in the street.
Since it was still daylight I didn't take a heli, but rented a
groundcar instead. We had a leisurely drive out into the country and
reached President Ferraro's house after dark.
As befitted the top official of a rich planet, the place was a mansion.
But the security precautions were ludicrous to say the least. I
took myself and a three hundred fifty kilo robot through the guards
and alarms without causing the slightest stir. President Ferraro, a
bachelor, was eating his dinner. This gave me enough undisturbed time
to search his study.
There was absolutely nothing. Nothing to do with wars or battleships
that is. If I had been interested in blackmail I had enough evidence
in my hand to support me for life. I was looking for something bigger
than political corruption, however.
When Ferraro rolled into his study after dinner the room was dark.
I heard him murmur something about the servants and fumble for the
switch. Before he found it, the robot closed the door and turned on
the lights. I sat behind his desk, all his personal papers before
me—weighted down with a pistol—and as fierce a scowl as I could raise
smeared across my face. Before he got over the shock I snapped an order
at him.
"Come over here and sit down, quick!"
The robot hustled him across the room at the same time, so he had no
choice except to obey. When he saw the papers on the desk his eyes
bulged and he just gurgled a little. Before he could recover I threw a
thick folder in front of him.
"I am Admiral Thar, League Grand Fleet. These are my credentials. You
had better check them." Since they were as good as any real admiral's I
didn't worry in the slightest. Ferraro went through them as carefully
as he could in his rattled state, even checking the seals under UV. It
gave him time to regain a bit of control and he used it to bluster.
"What do you mean by entering my private quarters and burglaring—"
"You're in very bad trouble," I said in as gloomy a voice as I could
muster.
Ferraro's tanned face went a dirty gray at my words. I pressed the
advantage.
"I am arresting you for conspiracy, extortion, theft, and whatever
other charges develop after a careful review of these documents. Seize
him." This last order was directed at the robot who was well briefed
in its role. It rumbled forward and locked its hand around Ferraro's
wrist, handcuff style. He barely noticed.
"I can explain," he said desperately. "Everything can be explained.
There is no need to make such charges. I don't know what papers you
have there, so I wouldn't attempt to say they are all forgeries. I have
many enemies you know. If the League knew the difficulties faced on a
backward planet like this...."
"That will be entirely enough," I snapped, cutting him off with a wave
of my hand. "All those questions will be answered by a court at the
proper time. There is only one question I want an answer to now. Why
are you building that battleship?"
The man was a great actor. His eyes opened wide, his jaw dropped,
he sank back into the chair as if he had been tapped lightly with a
hammer. When he managed to speak the words were completely unnecessary;
he had already registered every evidence of injured innocence.
"What battleship?" he gasped.
"The Warlord class battleship that is being built at the Cenerentola
Spaceyards. Disguised behind these blueprints." I threw them across the
desk to him, and pointed to the one corner. "Those are your initials
there, authorizing construction."
Ferraro still had the baffled act going as he fumbled with the papers,
examined the initials and such. I gave him plenty of time. He finally
put them down, shaking his head.
"I know nothing about any battleship. These are the plans for a new
cargo liner. Those are my initials, I recall putting them there."
I phrased my question carefully, as I had him right where I wanted him
now. "You deny any knowledge of the Warlord battleship that is being
built from these modified plans."
"These are the plans for an ordinary passenger-freighter, that is all I
know."
His words had the simple innocence of a young child's. Was he ever
caught. I sat back with a relaxed sigh and lit a cigar.
"Wouldn't you be interested in knowing something about that robot who
is holding you," I said. He looked down, as if aware for the first time
that the robot had been holding him by the wrist during the interview.
"That is no ordinary robot. It has a number of interesting devices
built into its fingertips. Thermocouples, galvanometers, things like
that. While you talked it registered your skin temperature, blood
pressure, amount of perspiration and such. In other words it is an
efficient and fast working lie detector. We will now hear all about
your lies."
Ferraro pulled away from the robot's hand as if it had been a poisonous
snake. I blew a relaxed smoke ring. "Report," I said to the robot. "Has
this man told any lies?"
"Many," the robot said. "Exactly seventy-four per cent of all
statements he made were false."
"Very good," I nodded, throwing the last lock on my trap. "That means
he knows all about this battleship."
"The subject has no knowledge of the battleship," the robot said
coldly. "All of his statements concerning the construction of this ship
were true."
Now it was my turn for the gaping and eye-popping act while Ferraro
pulled himself together. He had no idea I wasn't interested in his
other hanky-panky, but could tell I had had a low blow. It took an
effort, but I managed to get my mind back into gear and consider the
evidence.
If President Ferraro didn't know about the battleship, he must have
been taken in by the cover-up job. But if he wasn't responsible—who
was? Some militaristic clique that meant to overthrow him and take
power? I didn't know enough about the planet, so I enlisted Ferraro on
my side.
This was easy—even without the threat of exposure of the documents
I had found in his files. Using their disclosure as a prod I could
have made him jump through hoops. It wasn't necessary. As soon as I
showed him the different blueprints and explained the possibilities he
understood. If anything, he was more eager than I was to find out who
was using his administration as a cat's-paw. By silent agreement the
documents were forgotten.
We agreed that the next logical step would be the Cenerentola
Spaceyards. He had some idea of sniffing around quietly first, trying
to get a line to his political opponents. I gave him to understand
that the League, and the League Navy in particular, wanted to stop the
construction of the battleship. After that he could play his politics.
With this point understood he called his car and squadron of guards and
we made a parade to the shipyards. It was a four-hour drive and we made
plans on the way down.
The spaceyard manager was named Rocca, and he was happily asleep when
we arrived. But not for long. The parade of uniforms and guns in the
middle of the night had him frightened into a state where he could
hardly walk. I imagine he was as full of petty larceny as Ferraro. No
innocent man could have looked so terror-stricken. Taking advantage of
the situation, I latched my motorized lie detector onto him and began
snapping the questions.
Even before I had all the answers I began to get the drift of things.
They were a little frightening, too. The manager of the spaceyard that
was building the ship had no idea of its true nature.
Anyone with less self-esteem than myself—or who had led a more honest
early life—might have doubted his own reasoning at that moment. I
didn't. The ship on the ways still resembled a warship to six
places. And knowing human nature the way I do, that was too much of a
coincidence to expect. Occam's razor always points the way. If there
are two choices to take, take the simpler. In this case I chose the
natural acquisitive instinct of man as opposed to blind chance and
accident. Nevertheless I put the theory to the test.
Looking over the original blueprints again, the big superstructure hit
my eye. In order to turn the ship into a warship that would have to be
one of the first things to go.
"Rocca!" I barked, in what I hoped was authentic old space-dog manner.
"Look at these plans, at this space-going front porch here. Is it still
being built onto the ship?"
He shook his head at once and said, "No, the plans were changed. We had
to fit in some kind of new meteor-repelling gear for operating in the
planetary debris belt."
I flipped through my case and drew out a plan. "Does your new gear look
anything like this?" I asked, throwing it across the table to him.
He rubbed his jaw while he looked at it. "Well," he said hesitatingly,
"I don't want to say for certain. After all, these details aren't in
my department, I'm just responsible for final assembly, not unit work.
But this surely looks like the thing they installed. Big thing. Lots of
power leads—"
It was a battleship all right, no doubt of that now. I was mentally
reaching around to pat myself on the back when the meaning of his words
sank in.
"Installed!" I shouted. "Did you say installed?"
Rocca collapsed away from my roar and gnawed his nails. "Yes—" he
said, "not too long ago. I remember there was some trouble...."
"And what else?" I interrupted him. Cold moisture was beginning to
collect along my spine now. "The drives, controls—are they in, too?"
"Why, yes," he said. "How did you know? The normal scheduling was
changed around, causing a great deal of unnecessary trouble."
The cold sweat was now a running river of fear. I was beginning to
have the feeling that I had been missing the boat all along the line.
The original estimated date of completion was nearly a year away. But
there was no real reason why that couldn't be changed, too.
"Cars! Guns!" I bellowed. "To the spaceyard. If that ship is anywhere
near completion, we are in big, big trouble!"
All the bored guards had a great time with the sirens, lights,
accelerators on the floor and that sort of thing. We blasted a
screaming hole through the night right to the spaceyard and through the
gate.
It didn't make any difference, we were still too late. A uniformed
watchman frantically waved to us and the whole convoy jerked to a stop.
The ship was gone.
Rocca couldn't believe it, neither could the president. They wandered
up and down the empty ways where it had been built. I just crunched
down in the back of the car, chewing my cigar to pieces and cursing
myself for being a fool.
I had missed the obvious fact, being carried away by the thought of a
planetary government building a warship. The government was involved
for sure—but only as a pawn. No little planet-bound political mind
could have dreamed up as big a scheme as this. I smelled a rat—a
stainless steel one. Someone who operated the way I had done before my
conversion.
Now that the rodent was well out of the bag I knew just where to look,
and had a pretty good idea of what I would find. Rocca, the spaceyard
manager, had staggered back and was pulling at his hair, cursing and
crying at the same time. President Ferraro had his gun out and was
staring at it grimly. It was hard to tell if he was thinking of murder
or suicide. I didn't care which. All he had to worry about was the next
election, when the voters and the political competition would carve him
up for losing the ship. My troubles were a little bigger.
I had to find the battleship before it blasted its way across the
galaxy.
"Rocca!" I shouted. "Get into the car. I want to see your
records—all of your records—and I want to see them right now."
He climbed wearily in and had directed the driver before he fully
realized what was happening. Blinking at the sickly light of dawn
brought him slowly back to reality.
"But admiral ... the hour! Everyone will be asleep...."
I just growled, but it was enough. Rocca caught the idea from my
expression and grabbed the car phone. The office doors were open when
we got there.
Normally I curse the paper tangles of bureaucracy, but this was
one time when I blessed them all. These people had it down to a
fine science. Not a rivet fell, but that its fall was noted—in
quintuplicate. And later followed up with a memo, rivet, wastage,
query. The facts I needed were all neatly tucked away in their
paper catacombs. All I had to do was sniff them out. I didn't try
to look for first causes, this would have taken too long. Instead I
concentrated my attention on the recent modifications, like the gun
turret, that would quickly give me a trail to the guilty parties.
Once the clerks understood what I had in mind they hurled themselves
into their work, urged on by the fires of patriotism and the burning
voices of their superiors. All I had to do was suggest a line of search
and the relevant documents would begin appearing at once.
Bit by bit a pattern started to emerge. A delicate web-work of forgery,
bribery, chicanery and falsehood. It could only have been conceived by
a mind as brilliantly crooked as my own. I chewed my lip with jealousy.
Like all great ideas, this one was basically simple.
A party or parties unknown had neatly warped the ship construction
program to their own ends. Undoubtedly they had started the program
for the giant transport, that would have to be checked later. And once
the program was underway, it had been guided with a skill that bordered
on genius. Orders were originated in many places, passed on, changed
and shuffled. I painfully traced each one to its source. Many times the
source was a forgery. Some changes seemed to be unexplainable, until I
noticed the officers in question had a temporary secretary while their
normal assistants were ill. All the girls had had food poisoning, a
regular epidemic it seemed. Each of them in turn had been replaced by
the same girl. She stayed just long enough in each position to see that
the battleship plan moved forward one more notch.
This girl was obviously the assistant to the Mastermind who originated
the scheme. He sat in the center of the plot, like a spider on its web,
pulling the strings that set things into motion. My first thought that
a gang was involved proved wrong. All my secondary suspects turned out
to be simple forgeries, not individuals. In the few cases where forgery
wasn't adequate, my mysterious X had apparently hired himself to do the
job. X himself had the permanent job of Assistant Engineering Designer.
One by one the untangled threads ran to this office. He also had a
secretary whose "illnesses" coincided with her employment in other
offices.
When I straightened up from my desk the ache in my back stabbed
like a hot wire. I swallowed a painkiller and looked around at my
drooping, sack-eyed assistants who had shared the sleepless seventy-two
hour task. They sat or slumped against the furniture, waiting for
my conclusions. Even President Ferraro was there, his hair looking
scraggly where he had pulled out handfuls.
"You've found them, the criminal ring?" he asked, his fingers groping
over his scalp for a fresh hold.
"I have found them, yes," I said hoarsely. "But not a criminal ring. An
inspired master criminal—who apparently has more executive ability in
one ear lobe than all your bribe-bloated bureaucrats—and his female
assistant. They pulled the entire job by themselves. His name, or
undoubtedly pseudoname, is Pepe Nero. The girl is called Angelina...."
"Arrest them at once! Guards ... guards—" Ferraro's voice died away as
he ran out of the room. I talked to his vanishing back.
"That is just what we intend to do, but it's a little difficult at the
moment since they are the ones who not only built the battleship, but
undoubtedly stole it as well. It was fully automated so no crew is
necessary."
"What do you plan to do?" one of the clerks asked.
"I shall do nothing," I told him, with the snapped precision of an old
space veteran. "The League fleet is already closing in on the renegades
and you will be informed of the capture. Thank you for your assistance."