Since you desire so earnestly that I should communicate to you the
method by which I arrived at that habitual sense of GOD'S
Presence, which our LORD, of His mercy, has been pleased to
vouch-safe to me, I must tell you that it is with great difficulty
that I am prevailed on by your importunities; and now I do it only
upon the terms that you show my letter to nobody. If I knew that you
should let it be seen, all the desire that I have for your advancement
would not be able to determine me to it. The account I can give you
is:
Having found in many books different methods of going to GOD, and
divers practices of the spiritual life, I thought this would serve
rather to puzzle me than facilitate what I sought after, which was
nothing but how to become wholly GOD'S. This made me resolve to give
the all for the all; so after having given myself wholly to GOD, that
He might take away my sin, I renounced, for the love of Him,
everything that was not He; and I began to live as if there was none
but He and I in the world. Sometimes I considered myself before Him
as a poor criminal at the feet of his judge; at other times I beheld
Him in my heart as my FATHER, as my GOD: I worshipped Him the oftenest
that I could, keeping my mind in His holy Presence, and recalling it
as often as I found it wandered from Him. I found no small pain in
this exercise, and yet I continued it, notwithstanding all the
difficulties that occurred, without troubling or disquieting myself
when my mind had wandered involuntarily. I made this my business as
much all the day long as at the appointed times of prayer; for at all
times, every hour, every minute, even in the height of my business, I
drove away from my mind everything that was capable of interrupting my
thought of GOD.
Such has been my common practice ever since I entered in religion;
and, though I have done it very imperfectly, yet I have found great
advantages by it. These, I well know, are to be imputed to the mere
mercy and goodness of GOD, because we can do nothing without Him; and
I still less than any. But when we are faithful to keep ourselves in
His holy Presence, and set Him always before us, this not only hinders
our offending Him, and doing anything that may displease Him, at least
wilfully, but it also begets in us a holy freedom, and, if I may so
speak, a familiarity with GOD, wherewith we ask, and that
successfully, the graces we stand in need of. In fine, by often
repeating these acts, they become habitual, and the presence of GOD
rendered as it were natural to us Give Him thanks, if you please,
with me, for His great goodness towards me, which I can never
sufficiently admire, for the many favors He has done to so miserable a
sinner as I am. May all things praise Him. Amen.
I am, in our LORD, yours, &c.
To the Reverend—
Not finding my manner of life in books, although I have no difficulty
about it, yet, for greater security, I shall be glad to know your
thoughts concerning it.
In a conversation some days since with a person of piety, he told me
the spiritual life was a life of grace, which begins with servile
fear, which is increased by hope of eternal life, and which is
consummated by pure love. That each of these states had its different
stages, by which one arrives at last at that blessed consummation.
I have not followed all these methods. On the contrary, from I know
not what instincts, I found they discouraged me. This was the reason
why, at my entrance into religion, I took a resolution to give myself
up to GOD, as the best return I could make for His love; and, for the
love of Him, to renounce all besides.
For the first year I commonly employed myself during the time set
apart for devotion with the thought of death, judgment, heaven, hell,
and my sins, Thus continued some years, applying my mind carefully the
rest of the day, and even in the midst of my business, to the
presence of GOD, whom I considered always as with me, often as in
me.
At length I came insensibly to do the same thing during my set time of
prayer, which caused in me great delight and consolation. This
practice produced in me so high an esteem for GOD, that faith alone
was capable to satisfy me in that point.[3]
Such was my beginning; and yet I must tell you that for the first ten
years I suffered much: the apprehension that I was not devoted to GOD
as I wished to be, my past sins always present to my mind, and the
great unmerited favors which GOD did me, were the matter and source of
my sufferings. During this time I fell often, and rose again
presently. It seemed to me that all creatures, reason, and GOD Himself
were against me; and faith alone for me. I was troubled sometimes
with thoughts that to believe I had received such favors was an effect
of my presumption, which pretended to be at once where others arrive
with difficulty; at other times that it was a wilful delusion, and
that there was no salvation for me.
When I thought of nothing but to end my days in these troubles (which
did not at all diminish the trust I had in GOD, and which served only
to increase my faith), I found myself changed all at once; and my
soul, which, till that time, was in trouble, felt a profound inward
peace, as if she were in her centre and place of rest.
Ever since that time I walk before GOD simply, in faith, with humility
and with love; and I apply myself diligently to do nothing and think
nothing which may displease Him. I hope that when I have done what I
can, He will do with me what He pleases.
As for what passes in me at present, I cannot express it. I have no
pain or difficulty about my state, because I have no will but that of
GOD, which I endeavor to accomplish in all things, and to which I am
so resigned that I would not take up a straw from the ground against
His order, or from any other motive than purely that of love to Him.
I have quitted all forms of devotion and set prayers but those to
which my state obliges me. And I make it my business only to persevere
in His holy presence, wherein I keep myself by a simple attention, and
a general fond regard to GOD, which I may call an actual presence of
GOD; or, to speak better, an habitual, silent and secret conversation
of the soul with GOD, which often causes me joys and raptures
inwardly, and sometimes also outwardly, so great, that I am forced to
use means to moderate them and prevent their appearance to others.
In short, I am assured beyond all doubt that my soul has been with GOD
above these thirty years. I pass over many things that I may not be
tedious to you, yet I think it proper to inform you after what manner
I consider myself before GOD, whom I behold as my King.
I consider myself as the most wretched of men, full of sores and
corruption, and who has committed all sorts of crimes against his
King; touched with a sensible regret, I confess to him all my
wickedness, I ask His forgiveness, I abandon myself in His hands that
He may do what he pleases with me. The King, full of mercy and
goodness, very far from chastising me, embraces me with love, makes me
eat at His table, serves me with His own hands, gives me the key of
His treasures; He converses and delights Himself with me incessantly,
in a thousand and a thousand ways, and treats me in all respects as
His favorite. It is thus I consider myself from time to time in His
holy presence.
My most useful method is this simple attention, and such a general
passionate regard to GOD; to whom I find myself often attached with
greater sweetness and delight than that of an infant at the mother's
breast; so that, if I dare use the expression, I should choose to call
this state the bosom, of GOD, for the inexpressible sweetness which I
taste and experience there.
If sometimes my thoughts wander from it by necessity or infirmity, I
am presently recalled by inward motions so charming and delicious that
I am ashamed to mention them. I desire your reverence to reflect
rather upon my great wretchedness, of which you are fully informed,
than upon the great favors which GOD does me, all unworthy and
ungrateful as I am.
As for my set hours of prayer, they are only a continuation of the
same exercise. Sometimes I consider myself there as a stone before a
carver, whereof he is to make a statue; presenting myself thus before
GOD, I desire Him to form His perfect image in my soul, and make me
entirely like Himself.
At other times, when I apply myself to prayer, I feel all my spirit
and all my soul lift itself up without any care or effort of mine, and
it continues as it were suspended and firmly fixed in GOD, as in its
centre and place of rest.
I know that some charge this state with inactivity, delusion and
self-love. I confess that it is a holy inactivity, and would be a
happy self-love, if the soul in that state were capable of it;
because, in effect, while she is in this repose, she cannot be
disturbed by such acts as she was formerly accustomed to, and which
were then her support, but which would now rather hinder than assist
her.
Yet I cannot bear that this should be called delusion; because the
soul which thus enjoys GOD desires herein nothing but Him. If this be
delusion in me, it belongs to GOD to remedy it. Let Him do what He
pleases with me; I desire only Him, and to be wholly devoted to Him.
You will, however, oblige me in sending me your opinion, to which I
always pay a great deference, for I have a singular esteem for your
reverence, and am in our LORD,
Yours, &c.
We have a GOD who is infinitely gracious and knows all our wants. I
always thought that He would reduce you to extremity. He will come in
His own time, and when you least expect it. Hope in Him more than
ever; thank Him with me for the favors he does you, particularly for
the fortitude and patience which He gives you in your afflictions. It
is a plain mark of the care He takes of you. Comfort yourself, then,
with Him, and give thanks for all.
I admire also the fortitude and bravery of Mr. ——. God has given him
a good disposition and a good will; but there is in him still a little
of the world, and a great deal of youth. I hope the affliction which
GOD has sent him will prove a wholesome remedy to him, and make him
enter into himself. It is an accident which should engage him to put
all his trust in Him who accompanies him everywhere. Let him think
of Him as often as he can, especially in the greatest dangers. A
little lifting up of the heart suffices. A little remembrance of GOD,
one act of inward worship, though upon a march, and a sword in hand,
are prayers, which, however short, are nevertheless very acceptable to
GOD; and far from lessening a soldier's courage in occasions of
danger, they best serve to fortify it.
Let him then think of GOD the most he can. Let him accustom himself,
by degrees, to this small but holy exercise. No one will notice it,
and nothing is easier than to repeat often in the day these little
internal adorations. Recommend to him, if you please, that he think of
GOD the most he can, in the manner here directed. It is very fit and
most necessary for a soldier, who is daily exposed to the dangers of
life. I hope that GOD will assist him and all the family, to whom I
present my service, being theirs and Yours, &c.
I have taken this opportunity to communicate to you the sentiments of
one of our society, concerning the admirable effects and continual
assistances which he receives from the presence of GOD. Let you and
me both profit by them.
You must know his continual care has been, for about forty years past
that he has spent in religion, to be always with GOD, and to do
nothing, say nothing, and think nothing which may displease Him; and
this without any other view than purely for the love of Him, and
because he deserves infinitely more.
He is now so accustomed to that Divine Presence, that he receives
from it continual succors upon all occasions. For about thirty years,
his soul has been filled with joys so continual, and sometimes so
great, that he is forced to use means to moderate them, and to hinder
their appearing outwardly.
If sometimes he is a little too much absent from that Divine
Presence, GOD presently makes Himself to be felt in his soul to
recall him, which often happens when he is most engaged in his outward
business. He answers with exact fidelity to these inward drawings,
either by an elevation of his heart towards GOD, or by a meek and fond
regard to Him, or by such words as love forms upon these occasions, as
for instance, My God, here I am all devoted to Thee: LORD, make me
according to Thy heart. And then it seems to him (as in effect he
feels it) that this GOD of love, satisfied with such few words,
reposes again, and rests in the fund and centre of his soul. The
experience of these things gives him such an assurance that GOD is
always in the fund or bottom of his soul, that it renders him
incapable of doubting it upon any account whatever.
Judge by this what content and satisfaction he enjoys while he
continually finds in himself so great a treasure. He is no longer in
an anxious search after it, but has it open before him, and may take
what he pleases of it.
He complains much of our blindness, and cries often that we are to be
pitied who content ourselves with so little. GOD, saith he, has
infinite treasure to bestow, and we take up with a little sensible
devotion, which passes in a moment. Blind as we are, we hinder GOD,
and stop the current of His graces. But when He finds a soul
penetrated with a lively faith, He pours into it His graces and favors
plentifully: there they flow like a torrent, which, after being
forcibly stopped against its ordinary course, when it has found a
passage, spreads itself with impetuosity and abundance.
Yes, we often stop this torrent by the little value we set upon it.
But let us stop it no more; let us enter into ourselves and break down
the bank which hinders it. Let us make way for grace; let us redeem
the lost time, for perhaps we have but little left. Death follows us
close; let us be well prepared for it: for we die but once; and a
miscarriage there is irretrievable.
I say again, let us enter into ourselves. The time presses, there is
no room for delay: our souls are at stake. I believe you have taken
such effectual measures that you will not be surprised. I commend you
for it; it is the one thing necessary. We must, nevertheless, always
work at it, because not to advance in the spiritual life is to go
back. But those who have the gale of the HOLY SPIRIT go forward even
in sleep. If the vessel of our soul is still tossed with winds and
storms, let us awake the LORD, who reposes in it, and He will quickly
calm the sea.
I have taken the liberty to impart to you these good sentiments, that
you may compare them with your own. It will serve again to kindle and
inflame them, if by misfortune (which GOD forbid, for it would be
indeed a great misfortune) they should be, though never so little,
cooled. Let us then both recall our first fervors. Let us profit by
the example and the sentiments of this brother, who is little known of
the world, but known of GOD, and extremely caressed by Him. I will
pray for you; do you pray instantly for me, who am, in our LORD.
Yours, &c.
I received this day two books and a letter from Sister ——, who is
preparing to make her profession, and upon that account desires the
prayers of your holy society, and yours in particular. I perceive that
she reckons much upon them; pray do not disappoint her. Beg of GOD
that she may make her sacrifice in the view of His love alone, and
with a firm resolution to be wholly devoted to Him. I will send you
one of these books which treat of the presence of GOD; a subject
which, in my opinion, contains the whole spiritual life; and it seems
to me that whoever duly practices it will soon become spiritual.
I know that for the right practice of it, the heart must be empty of
all other things; because GOD will possess the heart alone; and as
He cannot possess it alone without emptying it of all besides, so
neither can He act there, and do in it what He pleases, unless it be
left vacant to Him.
There is not in the world a kind of life more sweet and delightful
than that of a continual conversation with GOD. Those only can
comprehend it who practice and experience it; yet I do not advise you
to do it from that motive. It is not pleasure which we ought to seek
in this exercise; but let us do it from a principle of love, and
because GOD would have us.
Were I a preacher, I should, above all other things, preach the
practice of the presence of GOD; and, were I a director, I should
advise all the world to do it, so necessary do I think it, and so easy
too.
Ah! knew we but the want we have of the grace and assistance of GOD,
we should never lose sight of Him, no, not for a moment. Believe me;
make immediately a holy and firm resolution never more wilfully to
forget Him, and to spend the rest of your days in His sacred presence,
deprived for the love of Him, if He thinks fit, of all consolations.
Set heartily about this work, and if you do it as you ought, be
assured that you will soon find the effects of it. I will assist you
with my prayers, poor as they are. I recommend myself earnestly to
yours and those of your holy society being theirs, and more
particularly
Yours, &c.
To the Same.
I have received from Mrs. ——, the things which you gave her for me.
I wonder that you have not given me your thoughts of the little book I
sent to you, and which you must have received. Pray set heartily about
the practice of it in your old age: it is better late than never.
I cannot imagine how religious persons can live satisfied without the
practice of the presence of GOD. For my part. I keep myself retired
with Him in the fund or centre of my soul as much as I can; and while
I am so with Him I fear nothing, but the least turning from Him is
insupportable.
This exercise does not much fatigue the body; it is, however, proper
to deprive it sometimes, nay often; of many little pleasures which are
innocent and lawful, for GOD will not permit that a soul which desires
to be devoted entirely to Him should take other pleasures than with
Him: that is more than reasonable.
I do not say that therefore we must put any violent constraint upon
ourselves. No, we must serve GOD in a holy freedom; we must do our
business faithfully; without trouble or disquiet, recalling our mind
to GOD mildly, and with tranquility, as often as we find it wandering
from Him.
It is, however, necessary to put our whole trust in GOD, laying aside
all other cares, and even some particular forms of devotion, though
very good in themselves, yet such as one often engages in
unreasonably, because these devotions are only means to attain to the
end. So when by this exercise of the presence of GOD we are with
Him who is our end, it is then useless to return to the means; but we
may continue with Him our commerce of love, persevering in His holy
presence, one while by an act of praise, of adoration or of desire;
one while by an act of resignation or thanksgiving; and in all the
ways which our spirit can invent.
Be not discouraged by the repugnance which you may find in it from
nature; you must do yourself violence. At the first one often thinks
it lost time, but you must go on, and resolve to persevere in it to
death, notwithstanding all the difficulties that may occur. I
recommend myself to the prayers of your holy society, and yours in
particular. I am, in our LORD,
Yours, &c.
I pity you much. It will be of great importance if you can leave the
care of your affairs to ——, and spend the remainder of your life
only in worshiping GOD. He requires no great matters of us; a little
remembrance of Him from time to time; a little adoration; sometimes to
pray for His grace, sometimes to offer Him your sufferings, and
sometimes to return Him thanks for the favors He has given you, and
still gives you, in the midst of your troubles, and to console
yourself with Him the oftenest you can. Lift up your heart to Him,
sometimes even at your meals, and when you are in company: the least
little remembrance will always be acceptable to Him. You need not cry
very loud; He is nearer to us than we are aware of.
It is not necessary for being with GOD to be always at church: we may
make an oratory of our heart wherein to retire from time to time to
converse with Him in meekness, humility and love. Every one is capable
of such familiar conversation with GOD, some more, some less: He knows
what we can do. Let us begin, then. Perhaps He expects but one
generous resolution on our part. Have courage. We have but little time
to live; you are near sixty-four, and I am almost eighty. Let us live
and die with GOD. Sufferings will be sweet and pleasant to us while we
are with Him; and the greatest pleasures will be, without Him, a cruel
punishment to us. May He be blessed for all. Amen.
Accustom yourself, then, by degrees thus to worship Him, to beg His
grace, to offer Him your heart from time to time in the midst of your
business, even every moment, if you can. Do not always scrupulously
confine yourself to certain rules, or particular forms of devotion,
but act with a general confidence in GOD, with love and humility. You
may assure —— of my poor prayers, and that I am their servant, and
particularly
Yours in our LORD, &c.
(Concerning wandering thoughts in Prayer.)
You tell me nothing new; you are not the only one that is troubled
with wandering thoughts. Our mind is extremely roving; but, as the
will is mistress of all our faculties, she must recall them, and carry
them to GOD as their last end.
When the mind, for want of being sufficiently reduced by recollection
at our first engaging in devotion, has contracted certain bad habits
of wandering and dissipation, they are difficult to overcome, and
commonly draw us, even against our wills, to the things of the earth.
I believe one remedy for this is to confess our faults, and to humble
ourselves before GOD. I do not advise you to use multiplicity of words
in prayer: many words and long discourses being often the occasions of
wandering. Hold yourself in prayer before GOD, like a dumb or
paralytic beggar at a rich man's gate. Let it be your business to
keep your mind in the presence of the LORD. If it sometimes wander and
withdraw itself from Him, do not much disquiet yourself for that:
trouble and disquiet serve rather to distract the mind than to
re-collect it: the will must bring it back in tranquility. If you
persevere in this manner, GOD will have pity on you.
One way to re-collect the mind easily in the time of prayer, and
preserve it more in tranquility, is not to let it wander too far at
other times: you should keep it strictly in the presence of GOD; and
being accustomed to think of Him often, you will find it easy to keep
your mind calm in the time of prayer, or at least to recall it from
its wanderings.
I have told you already at large, in my former letters, of the
advantages we may draw from this practice of the presence of GOD: let
us set about it seriously, and pray for one another.
Yours, &c.
The enclosed is an answer to that which I received from ——; pray
deliver it to her. She seems to me full of good will, but she would go
faster than grace. One does not become holy all at once. I recommend
her to you: we ought to help one another by our advice, and yet more
by our good examples. You will oblige me to let me hear of her from
time to time, and whether she be very fervent and very obedient.
Let us thus think often that our only business in this life is to
please GOD, and that all besides is but folly and vanity. You and I
have lived about forty years in religion (i.e., a monastic life).
Have we employed them in loving and serving GOD, who by His mercy has
called us to this state and for that very end? I am filled with shame
and confusion when I reflect on one hand upon the great favors which
GOD has done, and incessantly continues to do me; and on the other,
upon the ill use I have made of them, and my small advancement in the
way of perfection.
Since by His mercy He gives us still a little time, let us begin in
earnest: let us repair the lost time: let us return with a full
assurance to that FATHER of mercies, who is always ready to receive us
affectionately. Let us renounce, let us generously renounce, for the
love of Him, all that is not Himself; He deserves infinitely more. Let
us think of Him perpetually. Let us put all our trust in Him. I doubt
not but we shall soon find the effects of it in receiving the
abundance of His grace, with which we can do all things, and without
which we can do nothing but sin.
We cannot escape the dangers which abound in life without the actual
and continual help of GOD: let us then pray to Him for it
continually. How can we pray to Him without being with Him? How can
we be with Him but in thinking of Him often? And how can we often
think of Him, but by a holy habit which we should form of it? You will
tell me that I am always saying the same thing. It is true, for this
is the best and easiest method I know; and as I use no other, I advise
all the world to do it. We must know before we can love. In order
to know GOD, we must often think of Him; and when we come to
love Him, we shall then also think of Him often, for our heart will
be with our treasure. This is an argument which well deserves your
consideration.
I am, Yours, &c.
I have had a good deal of difficulty to bring myself to write to Mr.
——, and I do it now purely because you and Madam —— desire me.
Pray write the directions and send it to him. I am very well pleased
with the trust which you have in GOD: I wish that He may increase it
in you more and more. We cannot have too much in so good and faithful
a Friend, who will never fail us in this world nor in the next.
If Mr. —— makes his advantage of the loss he has had, and puts all
his confidence in GOD, He will soon give him another friend, more
powerful and more inclined to serve him. He disposes of hearts as He
pleases. Perhaps Mr. —— was too much attached to him he has lost. We
ought to love our friends, but without encroaching upon the love due
to GOD, which must be the principal.
Pray remember what I have recommended to you, which is, to think often
on GOD, by day, by night, in your business, and even in your
diversions. He is always near you and with you: leave Him not alone.
You would think it rude to leave a friend alone who came to visit you:
why then must GOD be neglected? Do not then forget Him, but think on
Him often, adore Him continually, live and die with Him; this is the
glorious employment of a Christian. In a word, this is our profession;
if we do not know it, we must learn it. I will endeavor to help you
with my prayers, and am, in our LORD, Yours, &c.
I do not pray that you may be delivered from your pains, but I pray
GOD earnestly that He would give you strength and patience to bear
them as long as He pleases. Comfort yourself with Him who holds you
fastened to the cross. He will loose you when He thinks fit. Happy
those who suffer with Him: accustom yourself to suffer in that manner,
and seek from Him the strength to endure as much, and as long, as He
shall judge to be necessary for you. The men of the world do not
comprehend these truths, nor is it to be wondered at, since they
suffer like what they are, and not like Christians. They consider
sickness as a pain to nature, and not as a favor from GOD; and seeing
it only in that light, they find nothing in it but grief and distress.
But those who consider sickness as coming from the hand of GOD, as the
effect of His mercy, and the means which He employs for their
salvation—such, commonly find in it great sweetness and sensible
consolation.
I wish you could convince yourself that GOD is often (in some sense)
nearer to us, and more effectually present with us, in sickness than
in health. Rely upon no other Physician; for, according to my
apprehension, He reserves your cure to Himself. Put, then, all your
trust in Him, and you will soon find the effects of it in your
recovery, which we often retard by putting greater confidence in
physic than in GOD.
Whatever remedies you make use of, they will succeed only so far as He
permits. When pains come from GOD, He only can cure them. He often
sends diseases of the body to cure those of the soul. Comfort yourself
with the sovereign Physician both of the soul and body.
Be satisfied with the condition in which GOD places you: however happy
you may think me, I envy you. Pains and sufferings would be a paradise
to me while I should suffer with my GOD; and the greatest pleasures
would be hell to me if I could relish them without Him. All my
consolation would be to suffer something for His sake.
I must, in a little time, go to GOD. What comforts me in this life is,
that I now see Him by faith; and I see Him in such a manner as might
make me say sometimes, I believe no more, but I see. I feel what
faith teaches us, and in that assurance and that practice of faith, I
will live and die with Him.
Continue then always with GOD: it is the only support and comfort for
your affliction. I shall beseech Him to be with you. I present my
service.
Yours, &c.
If we were well accustomed to the exercise of the presence of GOD,
all bodily diseases would be much alleviated thereby. GOD often
permits that we should suffer a little to purify our souls and oblige
us to continue with Him.
Take courage: offer Him your pains incessantly: pray to Him for
strength to endure them. Above all, get a habit of entertaining
yourself often with GOD, and forget Him the least you can. Adore Him
in your infirmities, offer yourself to Him from time to time, and in
the height of your sufferings, beseech Him humbly and affectionately
(as a child his father) to make you conformable to His holy-will. I
shall endeavor to assist you with my poor prayers.
GOD has many ways of drawing us to Himself. He sometimes hides Himself
from us, but faith alone, which will not fail us in time of need,
ought to be our support, and the foundation of our confidence, which
must be all in GOD.
I know not how GOD will dispose of me. I am always happy. All the
world suffer; and I, who deserve the severest discipline, feel joys so
continual and so great that I can scarce contain them.
I would willingly ask of GOD a part of your sufferings, but that I
know my weakness, which is so great, that if He left me one moment to
myself I should be the most wretched man alive. And yet I know not how
He can leave me alone, because faith gives me as strong a conviction
as sense can do, that He never forsakes us until we have first
forsaken Him. Let us fear to leave Him. Let us be always with Him. Let
us live and die in His presence. Do you pray for me, as I for you.
I am, Yours, &c.
To the Same.
I am in pain to see you suffer so long. What gives me some ease and
sweetens the feelings I have for your griefs is, that they are proofs
of GOD'S love towards you. See them in that view and you will bear
them more easily. As your case is, it is my opinion that you should
leave off human remedies, and resign yourself entirely to the
providence of GOD: perhaps He stays only for that resignation and a
perfect trust in Him to cure you. Since, notwithstanding all your
cares, physic has hitherto proved unsuccessful, and your malady still
increases, it will not be tempting GOD to abandon yourself in His
hands, and expect all from Him.
I told you in my last that He sometimes permits bodily diseases to
cure the distempers of the soul. Have courage then: make a virtue of
necessity. Ask of GOD, not deliverance from your pains, but strength
to bear resolutely, for the love of Him, all that He should please,
and as long as He shall please.
Such prayers, indeed, are a little hard to nature, but most acceptable
to GOD, and sweet to those that love Him. Love sweetens pains; and
when one loves GOD, one suffers for His sake with joy and courage. Do
you so, I beseech you: comfort yourself with Him, who is the only
Physician of all our maladies. He is the FATHER of the afflicted,
always ready to help us. He loves us infinitely more than we imagine.
Love Him, then, and seek no consolation elsewhere. I hope you will
soon receive it. Adieu. I will help you with my prayers, poor as they
are, and shall always be, in our LORD Yours, &c.
To the Same.
I render thanks to our LORD for having relieved you a little,
according to your desire. I have been often near expiring, but I never
was so much satisfied as then. Accordingly, I did not pray for any
relief, but I prayed for strength to suffer with courage, humility and
love. Ah, how sweet it is to suffer with GOD! However great the
sufferings may be, receive them with love. It is paradise to suffer
and be with Him; so that if in this life we would enjoy the peace of
paradise we must accustom ourselves to a familiar, humble,
affectionate conversation with Him. We must hinder our spirits
wandering from Him upon any occasion. We must make our heart a
spiritual temple, wherein to adore Him incessantly. We must watch
continually over ourselves, that we may not do, nor say, nor think
anything that may displease Him. When our minds are thus employed
about GOD, suffering will become full of unction and consolation.
I know that to arrive at this state the beginning is very difficult,
for we must act purely in faith. But though it is difficult, we know
also that we can do all things with the grace of GOD, which He never
refuses to them who ask it earnestly. Knock, persevere in knocking,
and I answer for it that He will open to you in His due time, and
grant you all at once what He has deferred during many years. Adieu!
Pray to Him for me, as I pray to Him for you. I hope to see Him
quickly.
I am, Yours, &c.
To the Same.
GOD knoweth best what is needful for us, and all that He does is for
our good. If we knew how much He loves us, we should always be ready
to receive equally and with indifference from His Hand the sweet and
the bitter: all would please that came from Him. The sorest
afflictions never appear intolerable, except when we see them in the
wrong light. When we see them as dispensed by the hand of GOD, when we
know that it is our loving FATHER who abases and distresses us, our
sufferings will lose their bitterness, and become even matter of
consolation.
Let all our employment be to know GOD: the more one knows Him, the
more one desires to know Him. And as knowledge is commonly the
measure of love, the deeper and more extensive our knowledge shall
be, the greater will be our love: and if our love of GOD were great,
we should love Him equally in pains and pleasures.
Let us not content ourselves with loving GOD for the mere sensible
favors, how elevated soever, which he has done, or may do us. Such
favors, though never so great, cannot bring us so near to Him as faith
does in one simple act. Let us seek Him often by faith. He is within
us: seek Him not elsewhere. If we do love Him alone, are we not rude,
and do we not deserve blame, if we busy ourselves about trifles which
do not please and perhaps offend Him. It is to be feared these
trifles will one day cost us dear.
Let us begin to be devoted to Him in good earnest. Let us cast
everything besides out of our hearts. He would possess them alone. Beg
this favor of Him. If we do what we can on our parts, we shall soon
see that change wrought in us which we aspire after. I cannot thank
Him sufficiently for the relaxation He has vouchsafed you. I hope from
His mercy the favor to see Him within a few days.[4] Let us pray for
one another.
I am, in our LORD, Yours, &c.
NOTES:
[1: Gal. i, 10; Eph. vi, 5, 6.]
[2: The particulars which follow are collected from other accounts of
Brother Lawrence.]
[3: I suppose he means that all distinct notions he could form of
GOD, were unsatisfactory, because he perceived them to be unworthy of
GOD; and therefore his mind was not to be satisfied but by the views
of faith, which apprehend GOD as infinite and incomprehensible, as
He is in Himself, and not as He can be conceived by human ideas.]
[4: He took to his bed two days after, and died within the week.]