The Pirate Frog and Other Tales

THE PIRATE FROG AND OTHER TALES

The Project Gutenberg eBook, The Pirate Frog and Other Tales, by W. A. (William Albert) Frisbie, Illustrated by Fred R. Bartholomew

Verse By
W · A · FRISBIE

Pictures By
BART

Authors of The Bandit Mouse

Lettering and Color Plates
BY FRED · R · BARTHOLOMEW

Chicago and New York
RAND, McNALLY & COMPANY
Publishers

A Fore Word:

This book is no arithmetic

To vex the mind of youth;

Its pages may, perhaps, appear

To be devoid of truth.

But by these tales the young who learn

To recognize a lie,

To that extent will know the truth,

And profit much thereby.

Copyright, 1901, by Rand, McNally & Co., Chicago.

This Book is dedicated to
MAE HARRIS ANSON
EDITOR OF THE
MINNEAPOLIS JOURNAL JUNIOR
whose object is
to amuse and educate children

THE PIRATE FROG.

Some boys whose names I do not know,

Went out to sail their boat one day:

Fast to her stern they tied a line

So she could not sail far away

But little did those boys suspect

That, just beyond a floating log,

With all his trusty followers,

There lay in wait the Pirate Frog.

On came the ship; out sprang the frogs—

A desperate, determined crew.

They climbed aboard with reckless speed

And each one found his work to do.

One cut the line, one raised the flag,

The captain seized the helm to steer;

And thus, on peaceful Plunkett’s Pond,

Began the Pirate Frog’s career.

Upon the shore of Plunkett’s Pond

Three turtles basked beneath the sun;

’Twas afternoon, the spot was warm,

And they were dozing every one.

Their eyes were closed, they did not see

Around the point a sail appear,

Nor did they know, until too late,

The dreaded Pirate Frog was near.

The pirate crew made haste to land:

They ran to where the turtles lay,

Turned all three quickly on their backs,

Then, hoisting sail, sped fast away.

For hours the turtles strained and scratched

To turn themselves, but all in vain,

Till Mrs. Muskrat came that way

And set them right side up again.

As out of Turtle Bay he sailed,

The Pirate Frog the waters scanned,

And soon he steered his stolen ship

To catch some ducklings far from land.

Around the downy neck of one

A lasso made of cord he cast,

And, though the victim struggled hard,

The cord was strong; the knot held fast.

The other ducklings hurried home,

When this unequal fight began:

All breathlessly they told the news

To Uncle Peter Pelican.

He hurried out across the pond,

And first he cut the duckling’s cord;

Which gave the frightened pirates time

To dive to safety overboard.

Far up the shores of Plunkett’s Pond,

Within a deep and marshy bay,

Amid the rustling rushes green,

The muskrats’ cozy village lay.

Now, when the older rats were gone,

The little ratlings had no fear;

’Twould have been different had they known

The dreaded Pirate Frog was near.

But soon the pirates’ flag was seen—

The town was taken by surprise.

One baby rat was caught and bound

And dragged on ship despite his cries.

But soon his bonds were gnawed apart

And he for safety scaled the mast,

His weight aloft o’erset the ship

And he laughed best for he laughed last.

’Twas in July; the sun was hot,

The pond was smooth, the air was still.

The Pirate’s vessel lay becalmed

Without a breeze the sail to fill;

But soon a plan had been devised

To move the ship without a sail:

A diving frog took down a line

And tied it ’round a bull-head’s tail.

The big fish felt a gentle tug,

Then saw the line and jumped with fright.

He tried in vain to shake it off,

And swam away with all his might.

This way and that, at race-horse speed,

He crossed the pond from side to side,

But where he went the ship went, too,

And all the frogs enjoyed the ride.

For weeks the wicked Pirate Frog

Had filled the water folk with fright;

They hid themselves throughout the day,

While few dared venture out at night.

Had he not grown too rash and bold

They might be living that way still;

But his career closed when he tried

To stop the busy water mill.

He planned to drive his stolen ship

Against the wheel and tie it fast.

Nor did he think, on starting out,

That this exploit would be his last.

Too late he saw his grave mistake,

He tried in vain to reach the shore—

The pirates’ ship was ground to bits,

And Plunkett’s Pond knew them no more.

Old Daddy Longlegs sat him down

And wept in deepest woe.

“Alas!” he cried, “The summer’s gone

“And soon will come the snow.

“My children beg for warmer clothes,

“But yet I must refuse

“For each one has so many feet

“I can’t buy overshoes.”

THE HUNGRY PUPIL

To the Jungle kindergarten,

Mrs. Tiger brought her child:

He was small and roly-poly,

He was also meek and mild.

Telling him to mind the teacher,

Not to pull his playmates hair

And learn his lessons quickly.

Then his mother left him there.

When she called for him at noon time,

He was sitting all alone

With a smile of satisfaction,

Gnawing at an ostrich bone.

All the ground was strewn with feathers

Well picked bones and bits of fur;

But the pupils all were missing.

Don’t you wonder where they were?

Her little son came wriggling up

To grave old mother Eel;

“Oh mother dear”, he said with tears

“Such awful pains I feel.

“The doctor says he greatly fears

“For small-pox I am slated;

“But yet I have no arms or legs,

“And can’t be vaccinated.”

The Snapping Turtle’s daughter

In dress displayed good taste;

But, when she tried a belt on,

She found she had no waist.

The jolly Rough Riders of wash day

Sat jauntily out on the line

Not a man was afraid

For ’twas but dress parade

And their showing was certainly fine.

But when from their homes in the tree-tops

The enemy sailed through the air

And with coarse, muddy feet

Soiled each garment and sheet

The Riders could do naught but stare.

A crocodile made up his mind

That he’d be clean and neat;

On land he walked upon his toes,

So’s not to soil his feet;

But, when he came to brush his teeth,

He found to his dismay,

They were so numerous that he

Was busy all the day.

Jane Jenkens liked to look her best—

Though not too proud a girl—

She “did” her hair with strips of tin

To make it kink and curl.

She twisted it too tight by far

And found, to her surprise,

That, though she tried her very best,

She couldn’t close her eyes.

A FIRE IN FROGTOWN

One sultry night in Frogtown

The muskrats’ house caught fire;

The muskrats, with their babies,

Rushed out in scant attire.

Then all the Frogtown firemen,

In startled haste arose,

And ran to put the fire out

With dandelion hose.

THE PORCUPINE’S DILEMMA

A porcupine once played at golf

And wore a sweater red.

“I notice all the swells dress so.

“And so will I”, he said.

But when he found his stylish clothes

Were far too warm for golf,

His sharp quills held that sweater fast

He couldn’t get it off.

A monkey, sitting on a tree

Above a shady pool,

Looked down and saw a crocodile

Within the water cool.

The crocodile looked up and said,

“Come down my friend and swim.”

Intending, when the monkey came,

To make a meal of him.

The monkey knew this was his plan

But leaped as if to dive.

The crocodile spread wide his jaws

To catch his meal alive;

But he was disappointed much

To see his sharp game fail

For, as he leaped, the monkey caught

And hung there by his tail.

One beast there is which should be shunned

By little girls and boys;

That is the cross Whine-os-ce-ros,

Which makes an awful noise.

For if they see this animal

And do not run away,

They imitate its shrill, harsh voice

And whine the livelong day.

Seein’ Large

A frog who wore new spectacles

Observed a common fly;

“What monster can this be?” he said,

“That comes before my eye?”

But when the fly was quickly caught,

And on the frog’s inside,

He felt so empty that he knew

His glasses magnified.

A turtle had a big bass-drum

On which he used to play;

His comrades didn’t like the noise,

And so they ran away.

He played till he was all tired out,

Then all his friends returned

And smashed that drum to kindling wood,

Which they piled up and burned.

When Robert Pip put out to sea,

His ship was strong and new;

He was the captain proud and bold,

He also was the crew.

And he could reef and splice and clew

And yaw and luff and steer.

For food he carried chocolate drops;

His drink was ginger beer.

The course as steered by Captain Pip

Was sou’ sou’ west by east;

And he had sailed upon his way

For forty days at least,

When up there came a tidal wave

And, with a rush and roar,

Picked up his ship and landed it

Fast on a foreign shore.

When Robert Pip’s ill fated ship

Was landed high and dry

Upon a flat and unknown shore,

The shades of night were nigh:

So down he lay to take his rest

Upon the vessel’s deck,

Observing that his food and drink

Were safe, despite the wreck.

The sun was up when he awoke

And, on a hillock near,

He saw a group of monkey folk

Who showed no signs of fear.

They seemed polite, well bred and kind—

He wished to make them friends

And, by the means of chocolate drops,

He soon had gained his ends.

The monkeys met by Captain Pip

Were all one family,

Who, near the place where he was wrecked,

Dwelt in a banyan tree.

They took him to their lofty home

And urged that he should stay;

And he consented, for he knew

He could not sail away.

Within a week he learned their ways

And spoke their language, too;

He climbed with ease the tallest trees

Where dates and cocoas grew.

The father monkey and his wife

Rejoiced in children three—

Strong Reginald and Rufus, sons,

A daughter named Marie.

With Rufus and with Reginald,

Bob Pip went out one day

To find a place for golfing grounds

And teach his friends to play.

For clubs they used the bamboo sprouts,

In near-by jungles found;

For balls they plucked young cocoanuts,

Green, hard and small and round.

The monkey boys soon learned the game

And, with the greatest ease,

Could drive the ball from hole to hole,

O’er brooks and rocks and trees.

They swung their clubs with hand or foot,

Or tail—’twas all the same.

And soon they beat the Captain

At this ancient, royal game.

Within the chest of Captain Pip

A bag of marbles lay;

He fished them out one afternoon

And taught his friends to play.

They played the game of “little-ring”

Upon the hard beach near

Until there came a sad mishap

As you shall straightway hear.

For, as Marie was standing by,

There rolled close to her feet

A china “shooter” that indeed

Looked good enough to eat.

She snatched it up to swallow it;

It caught—she choked—turned pale.

To save her life they hung her up

By her prehensile tail.

Upon a sunny stretch of sand

That lay beside the sea,

The father monkey went to stroll

And with him went Marie.

She, running on ahead of him,

Cried out: “For goodness sake:

“Oh, father dear, come quickly here

“And kill this horrid snake.”

He quickly grasped a driftwood club

And reached his daughter’s side;

But when he saw that serpent strange,

He, too, was terrified.

He shook with fright, but soon he found

That what had made him quail,

Was Rufus buried in the sand—

All hid except his tail.

Now Captain Pip so longed for home,

He sought his stranded boat.

New rigging here, some patches there

He thought would make her float.

His mind was speedily made up;

His new idea was tried,

And soon his ship, all staunch again,

Rode proudly on the tide.

His monkey friends wept bitterly

At losing Captain Pip,

Till finally Marie ran home

To pack her little grip;

And when she said, “I’m going, too.”

They all made haste to pack:

Then boarded ship and sailed away,

Nor to that isle came back.

There was an old school teacher bear

Whom a fever had robbed of his hair;

And the thought of his loss

Made him peevish and cross

To the cubs who were under his care.

So they bought him a bottle or two

Of a medicine famous and new;

Then his hair grew so fast,

That the old bear at last

Had to braid it all up in a queue.

Small Wee-Wip was an Indian

Who, in a wigwam warm,

Dwelt snugly all the winter through

Quite safe from frost and storm.

But he had heard of Santa Claus

And so, when Christmas came,

He hung his deerskin moccasins

Upon the wigwam frame.

And sure enough, the good, old saint

That night came jingling by;

And, as he passed, the moccasins

Caught his observing eye.

But wigwams have no chimneys tall

Through which old Kriss can drop,

So Wee-Wip’s Christmas gifts were left

Upon the wigwam top.

Young Billy Hedgehog wished a nap;

He found an easy chair

And, snugly curling up in it,

He soon forgot all care.

Grave old Judge Bruin wished to read,

For books were to his taste;

In that same chair he sat him down

But rose again in haste.

A little girl Mermaid sat down by the sea,

And mournful, dejected and tearful was she;

She wanted a shirtwaist all ironed stiff and nice,

But the ocean would take out the starch in a trice.

And she wanted blue shoes, for she thought them “so sweet,”

So she sobbed out afresh for she saw she’d no feet.

And she wept, and she wailed, and she sobbed, and she sighed,

Till her tears added salt to the salty sea’s tide.

The little girl Mermaid dove down in the sea,

The crabs and the lobster folk hailed her with glee;

The squids, shrimps and starfish stood up in a row,

To welcome her back to her home down below.

Behind her sea-horses she went for a ride

Where brilliant hued ocean plants swayed in the tide.

’Twas pleasant indeed, and she thought with regret

That once she had wished to live out of the wet.

The little girl Mermaid once bade her friends all

To come to a beautiful fancy dress ball.

The Fiddler Crabs fiddled for waltzes and reels

Which were gracefully danced by Squids, Lobsters and Eels.

The Flounders were awkward; they floundered about

Till Swordfish policemen escorted them out.

But with this exception, the ball had no flaw

And the Sawfish declared ’twas the best he e’er saw.

The Proud Wishbone

The wishbone was a haughty thing

And high he held his head;

The Wing twins were but “common trash,”

And Drumsticks too, he said.

“It’s just as plain as anything

“That this is so,” quoth he,

“For there are two of each of them

“But only one of Me.”

And when two children at the feast

Each for the wishbone cried

The Wishbone said “I told you so”

And oh, he swelled with pride.

They took him each one by a foot

As children often do,

Then each one gave a sudden tug

And broke him right in two.

There was a dancing camel with a desert caravan;

His driver was a busy and an un-esthetic man,

Who made the camel work all day and gave him ne’er a chance

To lay his heavy load aside and do a fancy dance.

But when they reached a city and heard street musicians play,

The camel danced a step or two while jogging on his way,

And quickly people thronged about to wonder and to stare,

While the driver passed the hat and made his fortune then and there.

Young George Augustus William Bubb

Was far too dignified

To play at games like other boys—

They grated on his pride.

He did not know how kites are made,

Nor how to play at ball,

Nor how to skate, nor how to swim,

Nor anything at all.

Said Mrs. Robin breathlessly

“The frosts are nearly due,

This moving south is troublesome,

The baggage heavy, too.”

Said Mr. Rob, “Oh, that’s all right,

We’ll bill the baggage through.”

THE HAUGHTY COW

Said an acrobatic monkey

To the staid and stately cow:

“Come let us turn some handsprings;

“I will quickly show you how.”

But old bossy shook her head,

“No indeed!” she sharply said,

“I have passed the age of nonsense

“And I’ll not begin it now.”

THE PEANUT BIRD

Deep in the forest, dark and still,

There lives the peanut bird;

It rarely walks, it seldom flies,

Its song is never heard.

No fear of hunters armed with salt

Will make this bird turn pale;

It can’t be caught with salt you see,

Because it has no tail.

THE DISAPPOINTED BAT

A bat played a hand organ out in the street,

And carried a sign “I AM BLIND”;

But though all his music was joyous and sweet,

His hearers, he thought, were unkind;

For no-one who passed dropped a coin in his hat,

But each said “Why of course; he’s as blind as a bat.”

When Billy Wilson swimming went,

It took him half a day

To reach the lake because, you see,

It was so far away.

And so, to stop this loss of time,

When next he went to swim

He tied a string around the lake,

And pulled it home with him.

DICKIE PEG-LEG

A sparrow with a wooden leg

Hopped o’er a roof of tin;

And, as he hopped, a girl below

Was overcome with sudden woe

To hear that noise begin.

“Oh dear,” she cried, “here comes the rain,

“And this is picnic day.”

Nor did she know what she had heard

Was just a wooden legged bird

Until he flew away.

Young Johnny Bingle long had wished

To own a “truly” gun,

And so, when Christmas came again,

His father gave him one.

It had a barrel straight and true

A fancy walnut stock

And for his first game Johnny shot

The cuckoo in the clock.

THE SHANGHAI TWINS.

As Mother Bantam roamed the field,

Of worms and bugs in quest,

She found two large and lonesome eggs

In a deserted nest.

“This makes my duty clear” said she,

“I’ll stay and hatch them out.”

And for three weeks that little hen

Was no more seen about.

At length from out those two large eggs

The young chicks broke their way;

And thus the famous Shanghai Twins

First saw the light of day

And Mother Bantam stood aghast

That newborn pair to see

For, standing in his stocking feet,

Each was as tall as she.

When Mother Bantam came to feed

The hungry Shanghai Twins,

She found she had an awful task

To fill them to their chins;

And, if they were not filled that full,

They clamored to be fed;

Until in running down their food

She worked till nearly dead.

With hoppers and with lady bugs,

With moths and worms and flies,

With grains of corn and crumbs of bread

She stopped their hungry cries.

Till finally she ran so much

To get them food to eat,

That she herself, worn out and starved,

Was overcome by heat.

Said Mother Bantam to her twins:

“Since you two have been hatched,

“You have not found a single meal,

“You have not run nor scratched;

“I’ve fed you as a mother should,

“But you are stronger now

“And henceforth you must scratch for worms.”

Cried they: “Please show us how.”

She led them to the garden plot,

“Dig in your claws” said she,

“Just catch the dirt and push it back.

“It’s easy; don’t you see?”

“Ah yes,” they cried and went to work

With all their main and might,

And, ere they knew what they had done,

They buried her from sight.

The Shanghai Twins came on apace;

So rapidly they grew,

That larger, stronger fowls than they

Became extremely few.

And Mother Bantam gazed with pride

Her foster sons upon:

The one of them was christened James,

The other one was John.

Beneath the battered hen-house door,

A hungry fox one night

Poked in his nose, and all the fowls

Were paralyzed with fright.

But James and John knew what to do,

They fought with might and main

Until the fox took to his heels

With yelps of fear and pain.

Now when the valiant Shanghai Twins

Had put a fox to flight,

They stood on guard to watch the house

The balance of the night

And, while they watched, the other fowls

Reposed in perfect peace:

So, after that, the Twins were named

As poultry yard police.

Each wore, to show his lofty rank,

A helmet, club and star,

And soon as faithful guardians

Their fame spread near and far.

The very mention of their names,

Made thieving fowls turn pale

For well they knew that John and James

Could march them off to jail.

Three young and interesting pigs

Once lived within a sty;

And one was greedy, one was strong,

And one was scarce a half yard long

And scant ten inches high.

The greedy one, when large and fat,

Was led away one day;

The strong one rooted at his pen

Until he made a hole, and then

Crept out and ran away.

The smallest pig, with careful thought,

Made up his mind to stay.

He did not eat enough to grow,

He did not run away, and so

He lives in peace today.

“ONCE ON A TIME.”

If you had lived “once on a time,”

Just as the story books all say,

Oh wouldn’t it have been a sight

To see the knights with dragons fight

And bear their heads away.

And it was “once upon a time,”

That little boys came to be kings;

That fairies flitted here and there

To little girls with presents rare—

Rich gowns and diamond rings.

But now, dear me, how things are changed:

And yet, perhaps, ’tis just as well:

For, if ’twere not so long ago,

That all these wondrous things were so,

There’d be no tales to tell.

To Mr. Fox’s barber shop,

The large important Mr. Bear

Once took his chubby, little son

To have the barber trim his hair.

The cloth was tucked about his neck

When, in the mirror large and tall,

He chanced to see another bear

And cuffed the glass to pieces small.

Perhaps there is a funny land

Where rabbits dress in long tailed coats,

And kittens all wear wooden shoes

And schools are taught by learned goats.

Where crocodiles play violins

And owls are decked in gowns and caps;

But if there is a land like this,

You can not find it on the maps.

A very foolish little clam

Each night sat up till very late;

His parents said repeatedly

That he should not thus dissipate.

But he would never heed their words:

He was too headstrong to obey

And thus he had so little sleep

That he was sleepy all the day.

One summer morning on the beach,

He opened wide his shell to yawn.

A big red bird came walking by—

A snap, a gulp—the clam was gone!

So, children, though you are too large

For any hungry bird to hold,

You see ’tis much the wiser plan

To go to bed when you are told.

THE AIRSHIPS

The airship fleet of Meadowville

Floats gaily o’er the town;

For older people fully grown,

The craft is thistle down.

The smaller of the meadow folk

On fluffy silk-weed ride:

And there’s a ship for every one

With ships to spare, beside.