If The Philistine disturbs placid self-complacency
anywhere, as one or two of its critics intimate, it is
sorry, for there is no such happiness attainable anywhere
this side of Nirvana as its serene contemplation
of the charms of self which Narcissus and some
more modern fakirs exemplify; and the magazine of
to-day is its gospel. But so good a Philistine as
Horace Greeley is my authority for believing that the
still pool in which self-love sees the reflection it feeds
upon is a breeder of death, not life, and effervescence is
the sworn foe of the morbid. Not the things we do
that we ought not to do, but the things left undone
that we ought to do are the primary count leading
up to the confession that “there is no health in us.”
The other follows. Stagnation and the miasma of
self-consciousness co-exist and are not to be separated.
Wherefore, fellow-egoists, let us get a gait
on.
I like the broad flourish with which some imaginative
writers connect widely separated events in a
stroke of the pen and omit all that lies between as
mere incident. It seems to me a proof of the theory
put forward by my good friend Elbert Hubbard that
genius is a feminine element of character—in man or
woman. For example, I find this statement in the
latest of the Little Journeys: “Moses was sent
adrift, but the tide carried him into power.” I didn’t
know just what that meant till I recalled the discovery
of the bulrush cradle. A less intuitive writer
wouldn’t have bridged eighty years in that summary
way. He might have hinted at Moses’s police court
record—told how he killed an Egyptian for calling
him a son of a Populist or something and skun out
for half a lifetime and yet became a Prince of Egypt
and spent forty years or so at court before he took
the road with the forefathers of Brickmaker Tourgee.
But to connect the condensed milk baby in the market
basket on the Nile with the law-giver of Israel in
one movement, as the music people say, is a pretty
long span and suggests the liberty David Copperfield
takes with his own biography in the best book but
one written by the subject of the latest Little Journey.
“I was born:” he says—and all else is irrelevant.
I take it that Mr. Hubbard agrees with John
Boyle O’Reilly that “the world was made when a
man was born.” The feminine element of genius
which Mr. Hubbard tells us makes poets is manifest
in that formula. If the author of the Journeys will
permit, I would suggest that the same mother instinct
that crops out there is manifested in the grasp of a
life in the compass of a sentence which puzzled me at
the first. To be born and to die is the record of
existence, to which all else is tributary; and the
pangs of birth and death thrill all the poet-strains.
Only the tragedy that sweeps along the strings lives
to echo in human hearts. It is the deathless minor
chord that distinguishes the melody of true poetry
from the dancing cadences of rhyme in all literature.
The undertone is the soul of all song, in verse or in
the unmeasured periods of epic prose.
Mention of Moses recalls the perhaps unique fact
that a priest of the most austere of churches rolled
off a tongue, musical with brogue, in his newspaper
sanctum—for he is a priest of the pen too—this romantic
version of the basket story which I have
never seen anywhere but in his paper—then in the
process of make-up:
On Egypt’s banks, convaynient to the Nile,
Great Pharaoh’s daughter went to bathe in shtyle,
And shtooping down, as everyone supposes
To scratch her shin, she shpied the infant Moses:
Then turning to her maids, in accents wild
Cried: “Tare an’ ’ouns, girls, which o’ yes owns the chyild?”
I observe that the editor of the Arena is about to
make a contract with the Michigan Wheel Company
of Lansing, Michigan, for large quantities of its product
to give as prizes to new contributors only, the
old ones being already well supplied.
The following advertisement is clipped from one of
the October magazines:
MANUSCRIPT RECORD.
A handsome method for keeping track of manuscripts.
Contains space for recording one hundred
manuscripts, showing title, where sent, number of
words, when returned or accepted, when paid for
and amount, when published, postage account, etc.
Each page a complete history of one manuscript,
from the time it is first sent out, until published and
paid for. Price, $1.25. Sent postpaid to any address
on receipt of price.
The Bohemian Publishing Co.,
Pike Building, Cincinnati, O.
I have sent for this book, as it is my intention to
write one hundred manuscripts, and I desire to keep
track of them until published and paid for. I have
therefore ordered the book bound in cast iron.
In a recent number of Modern Art protest is filed
against the editor of the Chip-Munk continuing to
ask that startling question “Do You Keep a Dog?”
In God’s name, what right have the Chicago Decadents
to thus pry into our private affairs? Is it not
bad enough when the Chip-Munk advises us to drink
Guzzle’s beer and use Culby’s soap without being
interrogated as to what we “keep?”
Among the revivals which occur now and then in
everything is a discussion of an old “science” of
reading characters by the hair. I don’t know much
about it, but from what I have heard I believe a pair
of old she-bears set back the theory for a few centuries
when they chewed up the small boys that
poked fun at Elijah. The old man would be rated
as having no character, according to these “readers,”
for he had no hair, but Providence and the early
Ursulines vindicated him.
A new woman who has been reading God’s Fool
laid it down at the last chapter with a long sigh.
“What do you think of it,” I asked. “It is dramatic,”
she said, “terribly dramatic at the end,”
and then added, after a pause, “I wonder what the
reading of the next generation will be like. We
have reached a force and directness of narration that
seems to me to be pretty near the limit of possibility.
What will we have next?” “What do you think?”
I asked. “I think,” she said, “we will have a reaction.
We will take in more and give out less.
We are near one of the great periods of what has
been called revelation in the past. Our literature is
shallow but perfect, relatively, in expression. Our
art is the same throughout. Our politics are personal.
Our religion is liberal, and loose in the joints. Our
social life is insincere and imitative. Our lives have
nothing in them to stir the deeps. There will be a
reaction. The finesse of expression will be set aside
for the tremendous earnestness that accompanies great
events and prints their lessons on receptive minds.
A break-up in Europe it may be, or some other social
convulsion, that will change the tide. We are pretty
near at the top of the flood now.” That’s the new
woman’s view. I wonder how near she’s right?
Three hundred and twenty-seven thousand of my
friends have individually sent to me a recent number
of my Philadelphia contemporary, Footlights, in which
it refers to The Philistine variously as a crow, a
dicky bird and “a birdie of the jackass breed.” I
am glad to be catalogued in this ornithological manner,
and my friends may accept the listing as they
please. As for myself, I’d rather be a good honest
wild ass of the desert with long fuzzy ears than a poor
imitation bird-of-paradise—stuffed by one hundred
and seventeen geniuses.
A matter of architecture has been involved in the
social problem which the Arena has ever with it—like
a stutter or a beer breath. According to an alleged
novel recently published by the Arena Company
and called Edith, a Story of Chinatown, a feature
of the tabooed district of Los Angeles, California,
is a bay window projection on the houses devoted to
vice, wherein beauty spreads lures for the eyes of
passers-by. The heroine of this lovely romance is
one of these persons, sinned against in the prologue
and sinning in the present, but discovered by a miraculous
New York reporter on a vacation and returned
to her broken-hearted parents and a good life.
A benediction, with a remote hint of the Lohengrin
march, ends the story. The Arena gives two pages
to a review of the book, which is very kind of the
publisher, and tells us therein that a description of
Alameda street and of Dupont street, San Francisco,
which is worse, is its purpose. The Arena can be
depended on for a full stock of “terrible examples.”
The Literary Digest is falling into line admirably.
Recently it printed a translation from some French
source from which I clip the following:
A Parisian literary man has been complaining that
authors are not represented at international expositions
in the same sense as are painters and sculptors.
The complaint has provoked sarcastic comment from
M. Maurice Goncourt, who, in Charivari (Paris),
suggests that, since an exhibition of their works
would not be sufficiently striking, the authors themselves
should be put on show in cages!
“All the writers who are at present the incontestable
masters of romance and journalism will transport,
during the period of the Exposition, their working
rooms to a section specially provided for them.
“The public will see them there as they really are
at home, surrounded with their furniture, their books,
all their accessories, and in working costume.
“From such an hour to such an hour—as at home—they
will work on their articles, poems, or novels.
“That would draw a crowd; that would be truly
interesting!
“They could be looked at through a sheet of glass
or a lattice—silently, so as not to interfere with their
inspiration.
“The administration could even put up signs like
this:
PLEASE THROW NOTHING TO THE POETS,
or—more particularly for the pretty visitors:
DON’T EXCITE THE PSYCHOLOGISTS.
All this sounds much as though it had been written
by the keeper of The Literary Shop, but I don’t believe
it was. Supposing, however, such an exhibit
were held at Atlanta with the Fair now in progress.
Imagine Mr. Gilder and James Knapp Reeve, Mr.
Le Gallienne and Laura Jean Libbey, Count Tolstoi
and Mrs. Mary Jane Holmes, each in his or her own
coop like a Leghorn chicken! Imagine Colonel S.
S. McClure (Limited) with his Menagerie of Trained
Thoroughbreds, each one of them exhibiting by his
emaciation the horrible results of syndicate writing!
Imagine Cy Warman pawing madly at the bars of his
cage trying to tell Sweet Marie about the secret in
his heart! Then imagine Little Tin God of Philadelphia,
cuddled up in his basket, writing his masterpiece,
How to Feed a Sick Kitten! To them then
would enter Major John Boyd Thacher, the pride and
joy of the Albany Democracy, and judge equally both
the just and the unjust. It’s a great idea.
One of my correspondents tells me that “the editor
of the Lark uses execrable perfume on his note
paper.” This item is for the future reference of Mr.
Burgess when he writes about his literary passions.
Several solemn newspapers have taken seriously to
the extent of half a column or so the proposal of a
San Francisco publishing house to “bring out good
literature in a cheap form,” which sounds much like
the advance agent talk of most publishing houses. It
isn’t a joke, to be sure, but a good deal depends on
what is meant by “good literature.” Thundering
in the prologue is not a novelty, but there may be a
storm coming for all that.
I note that the brilliant Bok has gone to writing
proverbs. Here is one culled at random from “A
Handful of Laconics,” printed under his honored signature
in his September output:
It is singular and yet a fact that what we are most
loath to believe possessed by others is what we are
incapable of ourselves.
It is my wish to call the particular attention of my
readers to this nugget. From a literary and philosophic
standpoint literature contains nothing like it.
Examine Rochefoucauld, Montaigne, Plutarch, Pliny
the Elder, Pliny the Younger or Solomon, and you
will not find its fellow. Read it again, and read it
slowly: “It-is-singular-yet-a-fact-that-what-we-are-most-loath-to-believe-possessed-by-others-is-what-we-are-incapable-of-ourselves.”
This is undoubtedly the
finest thing in the language and a reward of one
million dollars will be paid to any Philistine who
will furnish the solution. There is no bar against
reading it backwards. It reads a little better backwards
than forwards, but I do not think that is it.
I desire to record a discovery. I found a magazine
the other day with the advertising pages uncut.
I doubt if Bliss Carman has had a more enthusiastic
admirer than I. When his Vagabondia appeared I
sent a copy to Her, which was the greatest compliment
I could pay the book. In the magazines, notably
in Town Topics, he has printed verses that were
well worth preserving as some of the best of the
decade. In the great mass, however, which he has
published, there have been lines which nobody on
earth could understand. They were worse than
Stephen Crane’s, for he at least has a vague idea
somewhere, though he rarely does us the favor to
express it in a seemly manner. Now I want to protest,
not only against Mr. Carman, but against Life,
which gave us The Whale and the Sprat which Mr.
Carman wrote recently. Here are two of the stanzas:
My dear Mr. Sprat,
I really am grat-
Ified at your offer.
So down they both sat.
Said the Sprat to the Whale,
I admire your tail;
I should think it would be
Of great use in a gale.
How Mr. Metcalfe ever allowed such drivel to get
into his columns I cannot understand. Possibly
while he was in Japan the compositor set the stuff in
the waste basket instead of that on the copy hook.
Vogue asserts that “thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s
wife” is the ninth commandment. On information
and belief, no doubt.
Because Mr. Rockefeller sneers at Mr. Pullman
for giving but a paltry hundred thousand for a church
at Albion, Orleans County, New York, Mr. Pullman
retorts that Rockefeller is only a malmsey-nosed
varlet anyway, whose grease his axles are not worthy
to unloose. I am not quite ready to take George M.
into the Philistinic fold, but he is surely coming my
way.
I rejoice to find a thoughtful article by Richard
Burton on the “Renascence of Old English Expression”
in the current Forum—and not so much for what
is in the article in detail as for its recognition of the
main fact that there is something besides Bunthornism
in the harking back to the simple dignity of early
English. Our author, it will be noted, has little use
for the overflowing maimed vowels of Normanesque
“Renaissance.” Plain Latin renascence is good
enough in a plea for the Saxon. But it is odd if so
simple a thing as a rising from death into new life
has no Saxon equivalent. Why not “re birth!”
Since the Mule-Spinners at Cohoes and Fall River
went out on a strike I understand that subscriptions
to The Writer have fallen off one-third.
Neith Boyce is a poet who never beats the brush
piles of thought without starting good game. She
writes good honest verse and she also writes “Book
Notes and News” and other things for the New
Cycle. The New Cycle, by the way, is not published
by the Pope Manufacturing Company as one might
suppose, but it is a monthly magazine “devoted to
Education, Social Economics, Literature and Art.” I
once edited a magazine devoted to Education, but the
subject proved too large for the brainful syndicate
that employed me; I have also written a book on
Art; and once, having nothing to do, I lectured for a
space on Social Economics, but God help me! I
never in a small monthly magazine attempted to tell
all about Education, Social Economics, Literature
and Art.
But the New Cycle is interesting, and if its various
departments were as well cared for as its Book Notes
and News it would be a greater success than it is.
Neith Boyce has an unfailing insight and her touch is
as light and as sure as my own; and moreover
there is a tang to her wit that all bookish Philistines
might well cultivate. In classic lore I have
always looked up to Miss Boyce as the Court of last
Appeal, but is it not possible that Minerva sometimes
nods? Read this:
“An attraction of the eminently respectable Harper’s
Weekly will be a series of papers called ‘A
Houseboat on the Styx’ by Mr. Bangs of Yonkers.
Nothing is sacred to this funny man. Not content
with taking his fling at the defunct majesty of Napoleon
he now proposes to take Pluto by the beard
and make copy of the pale shadows that throng the
Stygian shores.”
It may be so, but I did not know that Pluto had
whiskers. And how does Miss Boyce dispose of the
legend concerning the smooth face and giddy ways
of old Mr. Pluto when he took to wife the young and
blooming Persephone? Charon wears a Vandyke as
we well know; while Mephisto is usually represented
as clean-shaved or at best a moustache and goatee;
but hereafter I’ll never think of Pluto without calling
up in mind Mr. Peffer of Kansas. Go to, Fair
Lady! think you because barber shops are closed in
York State on Sundays that they are shut in Hades
all the week? Next!
A lecturer on Egypt, telling the natives of Buffalo,
N. Y., about the marvels in stone built on that strip
of mud, illustrated the proportions of the Nile Valley
by saying “It it eleven hundred miles long in Egypt
proper and seven miles wide for most of its length.
If the city of Buffalo were laid crosswise in the
valley, it would bisect the kingdom.” And a Rochester
man who had strayed into the fold was mean
enough to add: “And if Buffalo was there, that’s
the way it would lie—cross-ways.” That’s the way
they talk in Rochester.
I quote this paragraph from Alice and respectfully
refer it to the editor of Mlle New York with the hope
that he can see the point as plainly as he sees most
things:
All this time the Guard was looking at her, first
through a telescope, then through a microscope, and
then through an opera glass. At last he said,
“You’re travelling the wrong way,” and shut up the
window and went away.
On his way to Montreal Mr. Hall Caine stopped
off one day at East Aurora. The Pink Tea given in
his honor at the office of The Philistine was largely
attended by the farmers from both up the creek and
down the creek. In fact, as my old friend Billy McGlory
used to say, “Ye cudden’t see de street fer
dust.”
The Boston Commonwealth (what satire there is in
that name!) is a nice paper, but its editor has not
smiled for forty years; and all of his little writers
carry so much culture that they are round-shouldered,
flat-chested, bow-legged and near-sighted.
They belong to the large class that invariably miss
the point of things and use dignity for a mask to hide
their lack of a sense of fun. The Commonwealth accuses
us of being envious of the Chip-Munk; of
being violently prejudiced against Mr. Cudahy’s
book, and of speaking irreverently of Boston. Go to
thou old granny Commonwealth, why sit you like your
grandsire carved in alabaster and creep into the
jaundice by being peevish?
The Book-Peddler is doing great service in promotion
of what passes for literature in the paper and
ink stores. I cannot but think what a similar publication
devoted to literature, not trade, could do to
save the valuable time of the reading public. Since
Solomon’s time a good many things have changed,
but in one there is no improvement. “Of the making
of many books there is no end,” and that is a
heap sadder than the lamentation of Maud Muller
and His Honor.
Concerning Mr. Grant Allen’s book and the manner
in which its title has been made the basis of several
others more or less reminiscent, my most valued
correspondent writes me that the novelists are missing
much by not calling a story The Woman Who Is
Simply Dying To. In my well known philanthropic
way I throw out this suggestion hoping that somebody
may make many dollars by the adoption of the
title for a decadent tale.
The Vanastorbilts are really under great obligations
to Mrs. Rorer’s Household News for the simple daily
menus for poor folks which are a feature. There’s
nothing so cheap as good living—in a magazine.
When bread sticks and banana chutney and peaches
and rice and cantaloupe can be mowed away
by a poor man before the seven o’clock whistle blows
no hard worker ought to lack muscle for his daily
toil. We have printed assurance of Mrs. Bellow
that “These menus have been arranged on a scientific
plan, are thoroughly hygienic, and contain all
that is necessary for proper living.” It is luck after
all that man does not live by bread alone, but by
every word that proceedeth out of the hygienic mouth
aforesaid.
Messrs. Lo & Behold, publishers of works on moral
pathology, Boston, are making great efforts to club
the Arena. I understand they propose offering season
tickets to museums of morbid anatomy as prizes.
I note a somewhat guarded statement by Dr. Swan
M. Burnett denying that he and his wife have separated
or are undergoing that mutually humiliating
process. All there is of it, he says, is that her work
keeps her abroad and his keeps him in Washington.
The doctor’s friends say, however, that the doctor
and the writist live apart and have done so for years
and that he is tired of being referred to as Mrs. Frances
Hodgson Burnett’s husband. I think more likely
he objects to being identified at the banks and elsewhere
as the father of Little Lord Fauntleroy.
The Pell Mell Gazette of last Saturday contains a
cablegram from Mr. Hall Caine, dated at East Aurora,
N. Y., wherein the author of The Manxman
reports that the prospect for next year’s crop of ginger
is very promising.
I suppose it’s all right for the publisher of Munsey’s
to tell how he made that magazine jump from 20,000
to half a million copies a month by shutting out middlemen
and reaching the hungering and thirsting
public direct. That’s his cue. If the publisher
didn’t blow his horn who would? I opine, however,
that the fish would sell without it, and that the editor
of Munsey’s could tell them something a good deal
more interesting in the same space. What does the
great public, with its multitude of aims and desires,
care how such an effect was accomplished? All that
could safely remain within the veil. It would be
more to the point if the editor or publisher of Mr.
Bok’s collection of wax works would tell by what
miracle he got a circulation. It is easy in the other
case, regardless of the smart publisher. The time
passed long ago when a horse being led to water
could be forced to drink. The public must have
wanted Munsey’s when it was shut out by the middleman
or they wouldn’t have compelled the dealers
to send for it, and that implies that there’s something
in it besides self-consciousness and the publisher’s
tactical brilliancy. But how on earth came the embodied
ego and its sisters and cousins and aunts to
get a hearing anywhere? Is Ruth Ashmore, alias
Bab, at the bottom of it?
A certain gentleman of my acquaintance, having
heard until he is sick of it that it takes nine Taylors
to make a man, continues to boldly assert that it
takes two Chatfields to make a Taylor.
When the Philistine was started six months ago
I had no idea that it would now have half a million
subscribers.
I am reminded by a Boston newspaper of the continued
existence of a belief that criticism of books
and other things more or less remotely connected
with literature is largely a matter of prejudice and
that the imprints on title pages determine the authors’
fate. Yet the same article goes on to quote the
Chip-Munk firm as proof that merit will win sometimes
in spite of such drawbacks. It seems to me
the instance proves too much.
And here, just at the last, I want to set down what
I have just read in a delightful book written by Katherine
Cheever Meredith—Johanna Staats—because it
seems to fit one’s mood at this time of year. This
is it:
“Oh, I play with Miss Gray Blanket and I play
with Fanny.”
“Fanny? The little girl?”
“Yes. After it’s dark, you know, I play with
her. Then I talk to her. She never answers. But
I play she’s so tired she can’t. Of course I can’t
play that when it’s light. For then I could see that
she wasn’t there. But in the dark she might be.”
“Exactly,” responded Poole abstractedly. He
was thinking that many men and women indulge in
the same game. Sometimes with their faith in each
other; but more often, though, with their creeds.