It was an old, large, one-storied house, with a mezzanine. It stood in a
village, eleven versts from a railway station, and about fifty versts from the
district town. The garden which surrounded the house seemed lost in drowsiness,
while beyond it stretched vistas and vistas of inexpressibly dull, infinitely
depressing fields.
Once this house had been painted lavender, but now it was faded. Its roof, once
red, had turned dark brown. But the pillars of the terrace were still quite
strong, the little arbours in the garden were intact, and there was an
Aphrodite in the shrubbery.
It seemed as if the old house were full of memories. It stood, as it were,
dreaming, recalling, lapsing finally into a mood of sorrow at the overwhelming
flood of doleful memories.
Everything in this house was as before, as in those days when the whole family
lived there together in the summer, when Borya was yet alive.
Now, in the old manor, lived only women: Borya’s grandmother, Elena
Kirillovna Vodolenskaya; Borya’s mother, Sofia Alexandrovna Ozoreva; and
Borya’s sister, Natalya Vasilyevna. The old grandmother, and the mother,
and the young girl appeared tranquil, and at times even cheerful. It was the
second year of their awaiting in the old house the youngest of the family,
Boris. Boris who was no longer among the living.
They hardly spoke of him to one another; yet their thoughts, their memories,
and their musings of him filled their days. At times dark threads of grief
stole in among the even woof of these thoughts and reveries; and tears fell
bitterly and ceaselessly.
When the midday sun rested overhead, when the sad moon beckoned, when the rosy
dawn blew its cool breezes, when the evening sun blazed its red
laughter—these were the four points between which their spirits
fluctuated from evening joy to high midday sorrow. Swayed involuntarily, all
three of them felt the sympathy and antipathy of the hours, each mood in turn.
The happiness of dawn, the bright, midday sadness, the joy of dusk, the pale
pining of night. The four emotions lifted them infinitely higher than the rope
upon which Borya had swung, upon which Borya had died.
At pale-rose dawn, when the merrily green, harmoniously white birches bend
their wet branches before the windows, just beyond the little patch of sand by
the round flower-bed; at pale-rose dawn—when a fresh breeze comes blowing
from the bathing pond—then wakes Natasha, the first of the three.
What a joy it is to wake at dawn! To throw aside the cool cover of muslin, to
rest upon the elbow, upon one’s side, and to look out of the window with
large, dark, sad eyes.
Out of the window the sky is visible, seeming quite low over the white distant
birches. A pale vermilion sunrise brightly suffuses its soft fire through the
thin mist which stretches over the earth. There is in its quiet, gently joyous
flame a great tension of young fears and of half-conscious desires; what
tension, what happiness, and what sadness! It smiles through the dew of sweet
morning tears, over white lilies-of-the-valley, over the blue violets of the
broad fields.
Wherefore tears! To what end the grief of night!
There, close to the window, hangs a sprig of sweet-flag, banishing all evil. It
was put there by the grandmother, and the old nurse insists on its staying
there. It trembles in the air, the sprig of sweet-flag, and smiles its dry
green smile.
Natasha’s face lapses into a quiet, rosy serenity.
The earth awakes in its fresh morning vigour. The voices of newly-roused life
reach Natasha. Here the restless twitter of birds comes from among the swaying
damp branches. There in the distance can be heard the prolonged trill of a
horn. Elsewhere, quite near, on the path by the window, there are sounds of
something walking with a heavy, stamping tread. The cheerful neighing of a foal
is heard, and from another quarter the protracted lowing of sullen cows.
Natasha rises, smiles at something, and goes quickly to the window. Her window
looks down upon the earth from a height. It is in three sections, in the
mezzanine. Natasha does not draw the curtains across it at night, so as not to
hide from her drowsing eyes the comforting glimmer of the stars and the
witching face of the moon.
What happiness it is to open the window, to fling it wide open with a vigorous
thrust of the hand! From the direction of the river the gentlest of morning
breezes comes blowing into Natasha’s face, still somewhat rapt in sleep.
Beyond the garden and the hedges she can see the broad fields beloved from
childhood. Spread over them are sloping hillocks, rows of ploughed soil, green
groves, and clusters of shrubbery.
The river winds its way among the green, full of capricious turnings. White
tufts of mist, dispersing gradually, hang over it like fragments of a torn
veil. The stream, visible in places, is more often hidden by some projection of
its low bank, but in the far distance its path is marked by dense masses of
willow-herb, which stand out dark green against the bright grass.
Natasha washed herself quickly; it was pleasant to feel the cold water upon her
shoulders and upon her neck. Then, childlike, she prayed diligently before the
ikon in the dark corner, her knees not upon the rug but upon the bare floor, in
the hope that it might please God.
She repeated her daily prayer:
“Perform a miracle, O Lord!”
And she bent her face to the floor.
She rose. Then quickly she put on her gay, light dress with broad
shoulder-straps, cut square on the breast, and a leather belt, drawn in at the
back with a large buckle. Quickly she plaited her dark braids, and deftly wound
them round her head. With a flourish she stuck into them horn combs and
hairpins, the first that came to her hand. She threw over her shoulders a grey,
knitted kerchief, pleasantly soft in texture, and made haste to go out onto the
terrace of the old house.
The narrow inner staircase creaked gently under Natasha’s light step. It
was pleasant to feel the contact of the cold hard floor of planks under her
warm feet.
When Natasha descended and passed down the corridor and through the
dining-room, she walked on tip-toe so as to awaken neither her mother nor her
grandmother. Upon her face was a sweet expression of cheerful preoccupation,
and between her brows a slight contraction. This contraction had remained as it
was formed in those other days.
The curtains in the dining-room were still drawn. The room seemed dark and
oppressive. She wanted to run through quickly, past the large drawn-out table.
She had no wish to stop at the sideboard to snatch something to eat.
Quicker, quicker! Toward freedom, toward the open, toward the smiles of the
careless dawn which does not think of wearisome yesterdays.
It was bright and refreshing on the terrace. Natasha’s light-coloured
dress suddenly kindled with the pale-rose smiles of the early sun. A soft
breeze blew from the garden. It caressed and kissed Natasha’s feet.
Natasha seated herself in a wicker chair, and leant her slender rosy elbows
upon the broad parapet of the terrace. She directed her gaze toward the gate
between the hedges beyond which the grey silent road was visible, gently serene
in the pale rose light.
Natasha looked long, intently, with a steady pensive gaze in her dark eyes. A
small vein quivered at the left corner of her mouth. The left brow trembled
almost imperceptibly. The vertical contraction between her eyes defined itself
rather sharply. Equal to the fixity of the tremulous, ruby-like flame of the
rising sun, was the fixed vision of her very intent, motionless eyes.
If an observer were to give a long and searching look at Natasha as she sat
there in the sunrise, it would seem to him that she was not observing what was
before her, but that her intent gaze was fixed on something very far away, at
something that was not in sight.
It was as though she wished to see some one who was not there, some one she was
waiting for, some one who will come—who will come to-day. Only let the
miracle happen. Yes, the miracle!
Natasha’s grey daily routine was before her. It was always the same,
always in the same place. And as yesterday, as to-morrow, as always, the same
people. Eternal unchanging people.
A muzhik walked along with a monotonous swing, the iron heels of his
boots striking the hard clay of the road with a resounding clang. A peasant
woman walked unsteadily by, softly rustling her way through the dewy grass,
showing her sunburnt legs. Regarding the old house with a kind of awe, a number
of sweet, sunburnt, dirty, white-haired urchins ran by.
Past the house, always past it. No one thought of stopping at the gate. And no
one saw the young girl behind that pillar of the terrace.
Sweet-briar bloomed near the gate. It let fall its first pale-rose petals on
the yellow sandy path, petals of heavenly innocence even in their actual fall.
The roses in the garden exhaled their sweet, passionate perfume. At the terrace
itself, reflecting the light of the sky, they flaunted their bright rosy
smiles, their aromatic shameless dreams and desires, innocent as all was
innocent in the primordial paradise, innocent as only the perfumes of roses are
innocent upon this earth. White tobacco plants and red poppies bloomed in one
part of the garden. And just beyond a marble Aphrodite gleamed white, like some
eternal emblem of beauty, in the green, refreshing, aromatic, joyous life of
this passing day.
Natasha said quietly to herself: “He must have changed a great deal.
Perhaps I shan’t know him when he comes.”
And quietly she answered herself: “But I would know him at once by his
voice and his eyes.”
And listening intently she seemed to hear his deep, sonorous voice. Then she
seemed to see his dark eyes, and their flaming, dauntless, youthfully-bold
glance. And again she listened intently and gave a searching look into the
great distance. She bent down lightly, and inclined her sensitive ear toward
something while her glance, pensive and motionless, seemed no less fixed. It
was as though she had stopped suddenly in an attitude, tense and not a little
wild.
The rosy smile of the now blazing sunrise timidly played on Natasha’s
pale face.
A voice in the distance gave a cry, and there was an answering echo.
Natasha shivered. She started, sighed, and then rose. Down the low, broad steps
she descended into the garden, and found herself on the sandy path. The fine
grey sand grated under her small and narrow feet, which left behind their
delicate traces.
Natasha approached the white marble statue.
For a long time she gazed upon the tranquil beauty of the goddess’s face,
so remote from her own tedious, dried-up life, and then upon the ever-youthful
form, nude and unashamed, radiating freedom. Roses bloomed at the foot of the
plain pedestal. They added the enchantment of their brief aromatic existence to
the enchantment of eternal beauty.
Very quietly Natasha addressed the Aphrodite.
“If he should come to-day, I will put into the buttonhole of his jacket
the most scarlet, the most lovely of these roses. He is swarthy, and his eyes
are dark—yes, I shall take the most scarlet of your roses!”
The goddess smiled. Gathering up with her beautiful hands the serene draperies
which fell about her knees, silently but unmistakably she answered,
“Yes.”
And Natasha said again: “I will plait a wreath of scarlet roses, and I
will let down my hair, my long, dark hair; and I will put on the wreath, and I
will dance and laugh and sing, to comfort him, to make him joyous.”
And again the goddess said to her, “Yes.”
Natasha spoke again: “You will remember him. You will recognize him. You
gods remember everything. Only we people forget. In order to destroy and to
create—ourselves and you.”
And in the silence of the white marble was clear the eternal “Yes,”
the comforting answer, “Yes.”
Natasha sighed and took her eyes from the statue. The sunrise blazed into a
flame; the joyous garden smiled with the radiations of dawn’s
ever-youthful, triumphant laughter.
Then Natasha went quietly toward the gate. There again she looked a long time
down the road. She had her hand on the gate in an attitude of expectation,
ready, as it were, to swing it wide open before him who was coming, before him
whom she awaited.
Stirring the grey dust of the road the refreshing early wind blew softly into
Natasha’s face, and whispered in her ears persistent, evil and ominous
things, as though it envied her expectation, her tense calm.
O wind, you who blow everywhere, you know all, you come and you go at will, and
you pursue your way into the endless beyond.
O wind, you who blow everywhere, perchance you have flown into the regions
where he is? Perchance you have brought tidings of him?
If you would but bring hither a single sigh from him, or bear one hence to him;
if but the light, pale shadow of a word.
When the early wind blows a flush comes to Natasha’s face, and a flame to
her eyes; her red lips quiver, a few tears appear, her slender form sways
slightly—all this when the wind blows, the cool, the desolate, the
unmindful, the infinitely wise wind. It blows, and in its blowing there is the
sense of fleeting, irrevocable time.
It blows, and it stings, and it brings sadness, and pitilessly it goes on.
It goes on, and the frail dust falls back in the road, grey-rose yet dim in the
dawn. It has wiped out all its traces, it has forgotten all who have walked
upon it, and it lies faintly rose in the dawn.
There is a gnawing at the heart from the sweet sadness of expectation. Some one
seems to stand near Natasha, whispering in her ear: “He will come. He is
on the way. Go and meet him.”
Natasha opens the gate and goes quickly down the road in the direction of the
distant railway station. Having walked as far as the hillock by the river, one
and a half versts away, Natasha pauses and looks into the distance.
A clear view of the road is to be had from this hillock. Somewhere below, among
the meadows, a curlew gives a sharp cry. The pleasant smell of the damp grass
fills the air.
The sun is rising. Suddenly everything becomes white, bright, and clear.
Joyousness fills the great open expanse. On the top of the hillock the morning
wind blows more strongly and more sweetly. It seems to have forgotten its
desolation and its grief.
The grass is quite wet with dew. How gently it clings to her ankles. It is
resplendent in its multi-coloured, gem-like, tear-like glitter.
The red sun rises slowly but triumphantly above the blue mist of the horizon.
In its bright red flame there is a hidden foreboding of quiet melancholy.
Natasha lowers her glance upon the wet grass. Sweet little flowers! She
recognizes the flower of faithfulness, the blue periwinkle.
Here also, quite near, reminiscent of death, is the black madwort. But what of
that? Is it not everywhere? Soothe us, soothe us, little blue flowers!
“I will not pluck a single one of you; not one of you will I plait into
my wreath.”
She stands, waiting, watching.
Were he to show himself in the road she would recognize him even in the
distance. But no—there is no one. The road is deserted, and the misty
distances are dumb.
Natasha remains standing a little while, then turns back. Her feet sink in the
wet grass. The tall stalks half wind themselves round her ankles and rustle
against the hem of her light-coloured dress. Natasha’s graceful arms,
half hidden by the grey knitted kerchief, hang subdued at her sides. Her eyes
have already lost their fixed expression, and have begun to jump from object to
object.
How often have they walked this road, all together, her little sisters, and
Borya! They were noisy with merriment. What did they not talk about! Their
quarrels! What proud songs they sang! Now she was alone, and there was no sign
of Borya.
Why were they waiting for him? In what manner would he come? She did not know.
Perhaps she would not recognize him.
There awakens in Natasha’s heart a presentiment of bitter thoughts. With
a heavy rustle an evil serpent begins to stir in the darkness of her wearied
memory.
Slowly and sorrowfully Natasha turns her steps homeward. Her eyes are drowsy
and seem to look aimlessly, with fallen and fatigued glances. The grass now
seems disagreeably damp, the wind malicious; her feet feel the wet, and the hem
of her thin dress has grown heavy with moisture. The new light of a new day,
resplendent, glimmering with the play of the laughing dew, resounding with the
hum of birds and the voices of human folk, becomes again for Natasha tiresomely
blatant.
What does a new day matter? Why invoke the unattainable?
The murmur of pitiless memory, at first faint, grows more audible. The heavy
burden of insurmountable sorrow falls on the heart like an aspen-grey weight.
The heart feels proudly the pressure of the inexpressibly painful foreboding of
tears.
As she nears the house Natasha increases her pace. Faster and yet faster, in
response to the growing beat of her sorrowful heart, she is running over the
dry clay of the road, over the wet grass of the bypath, trodden by pedestrians,
over the moist, crunching, sandy footpaths of the garden, which still treasure
the gentle traces left by her at dawn. Natasha runs across the warm planks, as
yet unswept of dust and litter. And she no longer tries to step lightly and
inaudibly. She stumbles across the astonished, open-mouthed Glasha. She runs
impetuously and noisily up the stairway to her room, and throws herself on the
bed. She pulls the coverlet over her head, and falls asleep.
Borya’s grandmother, Elena Kirillovna, sleeps below. She is old, and she
cannot sleep in the morning; but never in all her life has she risen early; so
even now she is awake only a little later than Natasha. Elena Kirillovna,
straight, thin, motionless, the back of her head resting on the pillow, lies
for a long time waiting for the maid to bring her a cup of coffee—she has
long ago accustomed herself to have her coffee in bed.
Elena Kirillovna has a dry, yellow face, marked with many wrinkles; but her
eyes are still sparkling, and her hair is black, especially by day, when she
uses a cosmetic.
The maid Glasha is habitually late. She sleeps well in the morning, for in the
evening she loves to stroll over to the bridge in the village. The harmonica
makes merry there, and on holidays all sorts of jolly folk and maidens dance
and sing.
Elena Kirillovna rings a number of times. In the end the unanswering stillness
behind the door begins to irritate her. Sadly she turns on her side, grumbling.
She stretches her dry, yellow hand forward and with a kind of concentrated
intentness presses her bent, bony finger a long time on the white bell-button
lying on the little round table at her head.
At last Glasha hears the prolonged, jarring ring above her head. She jumps
quickly from her bed, and anxiously gropes about for something or other in her
narrow quarters under the stairway of the mezzanine; then she throws a skirt
over her head, and hurries to her old mistress. While running she arranges
somehow her heavy, tangled braids.
Glasha’s face is angry and sleepy. She reels in her drowsiness. On the
way to her mistress’s bedroom the morning air refreshes her a little. She
faces her mistress looking more or less normal.
Glasha has on a pink skirt and a white blouse. In the semi-darkness of the
curtained windows her sunburnt arms and strong legs seem almost white. Young,
strong, rustic and impetuous, she suddenly appears before her old
mistress’s bed, her vigorous tread causing the heavy metal bed with its
nickelled posts and surmounting knobs to rattle slightly, and the tumbler on
the small round table to tinkle against the flagon.
Elena Kirillovna greets Glasha with her customary observation:
“Glasha, when am I to have my coffee? I ring and ring, and no one comes.
You, girl, seem to sleep like the dead.”
Glasha’s face assumes a look of astonishment and fear. Restraining a
yawn, she bends down to put a disarranged rug in order, and puts a pair of
soft, worn slippers closer to the bed. Then assuming an excessively tender,
deferential tone which old gentlewomen like in their servants, she remarks:
“Forgive me, barinya,[2] it shan’t take a minute. But how early you are
awake to-day, barinya! Did you have a bad night?”
Elena Kirillovna replies:
“What sort of sleep can one except at my age! Get me my coffee a little
more quickly, and I will try to get up.”
She now speaks more calmly, despite the capricious note in her voice.
Glasha replies heartily:
“This very minute, barinya. You shall have it at once.”
And she turns about to go out.
Elena Kirillovna stops her with an angry exclamation:
“Glasha, where are you going? You seem to forget, no matter how often I
tell you! Draw the curtains aside.”
Glasha, with some agility, thrusts back the curtains of the two windows and
flies out of the room. She is rather low of stature and slender, and one can
tell from her face that she is intelligent, but the sound of her rapid
footsteps is measured and heavy, giving the impression that the runner is
large, powerful, heavy, and capable of doing everything but what requires
lightness. The mistress grumbles, looking after her:
“Lord, how she stamps with her feet! She spares neither the floor nor her
own heels!”
At last the sound of Glasha’s feet dies away in the echoing silence of
the long corridor. The old lady lies, waiting, thinking. She is once more
straight and motionless under her bed-cover, and very yellow and very still.
Her whole life seems to be concentrated in the living sparkle of her keen eyes.
The sun, still low, throws a subdued rosy light on the wall facing her. The
bedroom is lit-up and quiet. Swift atoms of dust are dancing about in the air.
There is a glitter on the glass of the photographic portraits which hang on the
wall, as well as on the narrow gilt rims of their black frames.
Elena Kirillovna looks at the portraits. Her keen, youthfully sparkling eyes
carefully scrutinize the beloved faces. Many of these are no longer upon the
earth.
Borya’s portrait is a large one, in a broad dark frame. It is a young
face, the face of a seventeen-year-old lad, quite smooth and with dark eyes.
The upper lip shows a small but vigorous growth of hair. The lips are tightly
compressed and the entire face gives the impression of an indomitable will.
Elena Kirillovna looks long at the portrait, and recalls Borya. Of all her
grandsons she loved him best. And now she is recalling him. She sees him as he
had once looked. Where is he now? Before long Borya will return. She will be
overjoyed, her eyes will have their fill of him. But how soon?
It comforts the old woman to think, “It can’t be very long.”
Some one has just run past her window, giving a shrill cry.
Elena Kirillovna, turning in her bed, looks out of the window.
The white acacia trees before the window, gaily rustling their leaves, smile
innocently, naïvely and cheerily. Behind them, looming densely, are the tops of
the birches and of the limes. Some of the branches lean toward the window.
Their harsh rustle evokes a memory in Elena Kirillovna.
If Borya were but to cry out like that! He had loved this garden. He had loved
the white bloom of the acacia trees, and he had loved to gather the little
field flowers. He used to bring her some. He liked cornflowers specially.
At last Glasha has come with the coffee. She has placed a silver tray on the
little round table near the bed. Above the broad blue-and-gold porcelain cup
rises a thin bluish cloud of steam.
Elena Kirillovna draws her scant body higher upon the pillows, and sits upright
in her bed; she seems straight, dry, and thin in her white night-jacket. With
trembling hands she very fastidiously rearranges the ribbons of her white
ruffled nightcap.
Glasha, with great solicitude and skill, has placed a number of pillows at her
back, and these piled up high make a soft wall of comfort.
The little silver spoon held by the old dry fingers rings with fragile laughter
as it stirs the sugar in the cup. Afterwards out of a small milk-jug comes a
generous helping of boiled milk. And Glasha, having shifted somewhat to the
side in order to catch a stealthy look of herself in the mirror, goes out.
Elena Kirillovna sips her coffee slowly. She breaks a sugared biscuit, throws
half of it in the cup, and leaves it there for a time. Then, when it is
completely softened, she carefully takes it out with the little spoon.
Elena Kirillovna’s teeth are still quite strong. She is very proud of
this; nevertheless she has preferred of late to eat softer things. She munches
away at the wet biscuit. Her face expresses gratification. Her small, keen eyes
sparkle merrily.
When the coffee is finished Elena Kirillovna lies down again. She dozes for
half an hour on her back, under the bed-cover. Then she rings again and waits.
Glasha comes in. She has had time to comb her hair and to put on a pink blouse,
and this makes her seem even thinner. As she is in no haste her footfalls sound
even heavier than before.
Glasha approaches her mistress’s bed and silently throws the bed-cover
aside. She helps Elena Kirillovna to sit on the bed, holding her up under the
arm. Then, getting down on her knees, she helps her mistress to put on her long
black stockings and her soft grey slippers.
Elena Kirillovna holds on to Glasha’s shoulder with her trembling,
nervous hands. She envies Glasha’s youth, strength, and naïve simplicity.
Grumbling under her breath at her unfortunate lot, Elena Kirillovna imagines in
her dejection that she would be willing to sacrifice all her comfort to become
like Glasha, a common servant-maid with coarse hands and feet red from rough
usage and the wet—if she could but possess the youth, the cheerfulness,
the sang-froid, and the happiness attainable upon this earth only by the
stupid.
The old woman grumbles often at her fate, but is quite unwilling to give up a
single one of her gentlewoman’s habits.
Glasha says, “All ready, barinya.”
“Now my capote, Glasha,” Elena Kirillovna says as she gets up.
But Glasha herself knows what is wanted. She deftly puts on Elena
Kirillovna’s shoulders a white flannel robe.
“Now you may go, Glashenka. I will ring if I want you again.”
Glasha goes. She hurries to the veranda staircase.
Here she washes herself a second time in a clay turn-over basin, which is
attached by a rope to one of the posts of the veranda; she quickly plunges her
face and hands in the water that had been left there overnight. She splashes
the water a long way off on the green grass, on the lilac-grey planks of the
staircase and on her feet, which are red from the early morning freshness and
from the tender contact with the dewy grass in the vegetable garden. She laughs
happily at herself—because she is a young, healthy girl, because the
early morning freshness caresses the length of her strong, swift body with
brisk cool strokes; and finally, because not far away, in the village, there is
a lively and handsome young fellow, not unlike herself, who pays attention to
her and whom she is rather fond of. It is true that her mother scolds her on
his account, because the young man is poor. But what’s that to Glasha?
Not for nothing is there an adage:
“Without bread ’tis very sad,
Still sadder ’tis without a lad.”
Glasha laughs loudly and merrily.
Stepanida cries at her from the kitchen window: “Glash, Glash, why do you
neigh like a horse?”
Glasha laughs, makes no reply, and goes off.
Stepanida puts her simple, red face out of the window and asks: “I wonder
what’s the matter with her.”
She receives no answer, for there is no one to reply. Out of doors all is
deserted. Only somewhere from behind the barn the languid voices of working-men
can be heard.
In the meantime Elena Kirillovna kneels down with a sigh before the ikon in her
bedroom. She prays a long time. Conscientiously she repeats all the prayers she
knows. Her dry, raspberry-coloured lips stir slightly. Her face has a severe,
concentrated expression. All her wrinkles seem also austere, weary, callous.
There are many words in her prayers—holy, lofty, touching words. But
because of their frequent repetition their meaning has become, as it were,
hardened, stereotyped and ordinary; the tears which appear in her eyes are
habitual tears wrung out by her antique emotion, and have no relation to the
secret trepidation of impossible hopes which have stolen into the old
woman’s heart of late.
Diligently her lips murmur prayers each day for the forgiveness of sins,
voluntary and involuntary, committed in deed, in word, or in thought; prayers
for the purification of our souls of all defilement; and again words concerning
our impieties, our evil actions, our disregard of commandments, our general
unworthiness, our worldly frailty, and the temptations of Satan; and again
concerning the accursed soul and the accursed body and the sensual life; and
her words embrace only universal evil and all-pervading depravity. Surely these
prayers were composed for Titans, created to reconstruct the universe, but who,
out of shamefaced indolence, are attending to this business with their arms
hanging at their sides.
And not a word does she utter of her own, her personal affliction, of what is
in her soul.
The old, dried-up lips mumble of mercy, of generosity, of brotherly love, of
the holy life—of all those lofty regions pouring out their bounty upon
all creation. And not a word of the miracle, awaited eagerly and with
trepidation.
But here are words for those who are in prison and in exile; it is a prayer for
their liberation, for their redemption.
Here is something at last about Borya.
Freedom and redemption....
But the prayer runs on and on, and it is again for strangers, for distant
people, for the universal; only for an instant, and then lightly, does she
pause to put in something for herself, for her desire, for what is in her
heart.
Then for the dead—for those others, the long since departed, the almost
forgotten, the resurrected only in word in the hour of these strangers, prayed
for in this easy, gliding way all the world over where piety reigns.
The prayers are ended. Elena Kirillovna lingers for a moment. She has an air of
having forgotten to say something indispensable.
What else? Or has she said all?
“All”—some one seems to say simply, softly and inexorably.
Elena Kirillovna rises from her knees. She goes to the window. Her soul is calm
and self-contained. The prayer has not left her in a mood of piety, but has
relieved her weary soul for a brief time of its material, matter-of-fact
existence.
Elena Kirillovna looks out of the window. She is returning, as it were, once
more from some dark, abstract world to the bright, profusely-coloured, resonant
impressions of a rough, cheery, not altogether disagreeable life.
Small white clouds tinged with red float slowly in the heights and merge
imperceptibly in the vivid blue. Ablaze like a piece of coal at red heat their
soul seems to fuse with their cold white bodies, to consume them as well as
itself with fire, and to sink exhausted in the cold blue heights. The sun, as
yet invisible behind the left wing of the house, has already begun to pour upon
the garden its warm and glowing waves of laughter, joy and light, animating the
flowers and birds.
“Well, it’s time to dress,” Elena Kirillovna says to herself.
She rings.
Soon Glasha appears and helps Elena Kirillovna to dress.
At last she is ready. She casts a final look in the mirror to see that
everything is in order.
Elena Kirillovna’s hair is very neatly combed, and lightly brushed down
with a cosmetic. This makes it shine and appear as though it were glued
together. At her every movement in the light there is visible, from right to
left, a slender silver thread, due to the reflection of light at the parting of
the smoothed coiffure. Her face shows slight traces of powder.
Elena Kirillovna’s dress is always of a light colour, when not actually
white, and of the simplest cut. The small soft ruffle of the broad collar hides
her neck and chin. She has already substituted for her dressing slippers a pair
of light summer shoes.
Elena Kirillovna enters the dining-room. She looks on as the table is being
laid for breakfast. She always notes the slightest disorder. She grumbles
quietly as she picks up something from one place on the table and puts it in
another.
Then she goes into the large, unused front room, with its closed door on to the
staircase of the front façade. She walks along the corridor to the vestibule
and to the back staircase. She stops on the high landing, wrinkles up her face
from the sun, and looks down to see what is going on in the yard. Small, quite
erect, like a young school-girl with a yellow, wrinkled face which expresses at
the moment a severe domestic concern, she stands, looks on, and is silent; she
is, it seems, unnecessary here. No one pays her the slightest attention.
“Good morning, Stepanida,” she calls out. Stepanida, a buxom,
red-cheeked maid in a bright red dress, under which is visible a strip of her
white chemise and her stout sunburnt legs, is attending to the samovar at the
bottom of the stairs, and is vigorously blowing to set the fire going. Upon her
head is a neatly-arranged green kerchief, which hides her folded braids of hair
like a head-dress.
The bulging sides of the samovar glow radiantly in the sun. Its bent chimney
sends out a curl of blue smoke, which smells sharply, pungently, and not
altogether disagreeably, of juniper and tar.
In answer to the old mistress’s greeting Stepanida raises her broad,
cheerfully-preoccupied face, with its small, dark brown eyes, and says in
prolonged caressing tones, sing-song fashion:
“Good morning to you, matushka barinya.[3] It’s a fine morning, to
be sure. How warm it is, by the grace of God! And you’re up early,
matushka barinya!”
Her words are indeed honeyed, and above in the sweet air an early, shaggy bee
hovers, with a thick buzzing, tremulously golden in the clear, fluid haze of
the early, gentle sun. Silent again, Stepanida is once more busy with the
samovar; the disenchanted bee flies away, its buzzing growing less and less
audible behind the fence.
The pungent smell of tar causes Elena Kirillovna to frown. She says:
“What makes the thing smell so strongly? You had better leave it for a
while, or you will get giddy.”
Stepanida, without moving, answers languidly and indifferently:
“It’s nothing, barinya. We are used to it. It’s but a
slight smell, and it is the juniper.”
Through the blue, curling smoke of juniper her sweet voice seems dull and
bitter. There is a tickling at Elena Kirillovna’s throat. There is a
slight giddiness in her head. Elena Kirillovna makes haste to go. She descends
the staircase, and proceeds upon her customary morning stroll.
Glasha soon overtakes her. With an exaggerated loudness she runs stamping down
the stairs, showing a wing-like glimmer of her strong legs from under the pink
skirt, set a-flutter by her vigorous movement. She calls out in a clear,
solicitously joyous voice:
“Barinya, you have come out! The sun will scorch you. I’ve
fetched your hat.”
The yellow straw hat, with its lavender ribbon, glimmers in Glasha’s
hands like some strange, low-fluttering bird.
Elena Kirillovna, as she puts the hat on, says: “Why do you run about in
such disorder! You ought to tidy yourself—you know whom we are
expecting.”
Glasha is silent, and her face assumes a compassionate expression. For a long
time she looks after her strolling mistress, then she smiles and walks back.
Stepanida asks her in a loud whisper: “Well, is she still expecting her
grandson?”
“Rather!” Glasha replies compassionately. “And it’s
simply pitiful to look at them. They never stop thinking about him.”
In the meanwhile Elena Kirillovna makes her way across the vegetable garden,
past the labourers and the servants in the stockyard, and then across the
field. Near the garden fence she enters the road.
There, not far from the garden, in the shade of an old, spreading lime, stands
a bench—a board upon two supports, which still shows traces of having
been once painted green. From this place a view is to be had of the road, of
the garden, and of the house.
Elena Kirillovna seats herself upon the bench. She looks out on the road. She
sits quietly, seeming so small, so slender, and so erect. She waits a long
time. She falls into a doze.
Through the thin haze of slumber she can see a beloved, smooth face smiling,
and she can hear a quiet, dear voice calling:
“Grandma!”
She gives a start and opens her eyes. There is no one there. But she waits. She
believes and waits.
There is a lightness in the air. The road is radiant and tranquil. A gentle,
refreshing breeze softly passes and repasses her. The sun is warming her old
bones, it is caressing her lean back through her dress. Everything round her
rejoices in the green, the golden, and the blue. The foliage of the birches, of
the willows, and of the limes in full bloom is rustling quietly. From the
fields comes the honeyed smell of clover.
Oh, how light and lovely the air is upon the earth!
How beautiful thou art, my earth, my golden, my emerald, my sapphire earth!
Who, born to thy heritage would care to die, would care to close his eyes upon
thy serene beauties and upon thy magnificent spaces? Who, resting in thee, damp
Mother Earth, would not wish to rise, would not wish to return to thy
enchantments and to thy delights? And what stern fate shall drive one who is
aflame with life-thirst to seek the shelter of death?
Upon the road where once he walked he shall walk again. Upon the earth, which
still preserves his footprints, he shall walk again. Borya, the
grandmother’s beloved Borya, shall return.
A golden bee flies by. It seems to say, the golden bee, that Borya will return
to the quiet of the old house and will taste the fragrant honey—the sweet
gift of the wise bees, buzzing under the sun upon the beloved earth. The old
grandmother, in her joy, will place before the ikon of the Virgin a candle of
the purest bees’-wax—a gift of the wise bees, buzzing away among
the gold of the sun’s rays—a gift to man and a gift to God.
Women and girls of the village pass by with their sunburnt, wind-swept faces.
They greet the barinya and look at her with compassion. Elena Kirillovna
smiles at them, and addresses them in her usual gentle manner:
“Good morning, my dears!”
They pass by. Their loud voices die away in the distance, and Elena Kirillovna
soon forgets them. They will pass by once more that day, when the time comes.
They will pass by. They will return. Upon the road, where their dusty
footprints remain, they will pass by once more.
Elena Kirillovna suddenly awoke from her drowse and looked at the things before
her with a perplexed gaze. Everything seemed to be clear, bright, free from
care—and relentless.
Inevitably the triumphant sun rose higher in the heavens’ dome. Grown
powerful, wise and resplendent, it seemed indifferent now to oppressive earthly
melancholy and to sweet earthly delights. And its laughter was high, joyless,
and sorrowless.
Everything as before was green, blue and gold, many-toned and vividly tinted;
truly all the objects of nature showed the real colour of their souls in honour
of this feast of light. But the fine dust upon the silent road had already lost
its rose tinge, and stirred before the wind like a grey, depressing veil. And
when the wind calmed down, the dust slowly fell back upon the road, like a
grey, blind serpent which, trailing its fat, fantastic belly, falls back
exhausted, gasping its last breath.
All monotony had become wearisome. This inevitable recurrence of lucid moments
began to torment Elena Kirillovna with the grey foreboding of sadness, of
bitter tears, of unanswered prayers, and of a profound hopelessness.
Glasha appeared at the garden gate. She glanced cheerfully along both sides of
the road. Walking more slowly she approached Elena Kirillovna deferentially.
Glasha looked quite ordinary now, stiff-mannered and stupid. There was nothing
to envy in her. Her dress too was quite common-place. Her braids were arranged
upon her head quite like a young lady’s, and held fast by three combs of
transparent bone. Her blouse was light-coloured—pink stripes and lavender
flowers on a ground of white—its short sleeves reached the elbows. She
wore a neat blue skirt and a white apron.
Elena Kirillovna asked:
“Well, what is it, Glashenka? Is Sonyushka up yet?”
Glasha replied in a respectful voice:
“Sofia Alexandrovna is getting up. She wants me to ask you if we shall
lay the table on the terrace?”
“Yes, yes, let it be on the terrace. And how is Natashenka?” asked
Elena Kirillovna, looking anxiously at Glasha.
“The young lady is asleep,” answered Glasha. “To-day again,
quite early, she went out for a walk straight from bed, without so much as a
bite of something. Her skirt’s wet with dew. She might have caught a
cold. And now she sleeps. If you’d but talk to her.”
Elena Kirillovna said irresolutely:
“Very well. I had better be going. All right, Glasha.”
Glasha goes. Elena Kirillovna rises slowly from the bench, as though she
regretted moving from the spot where she saw Borya in a half-dream. Slowly she
walks toward the house.
Having reached the gate she pauses, and again looks for some moments down the
road, in the direction of the station.
A cart rumbles by noisily over the travelled road. The muzhik barely
holds the reins and rocks from side to side sleepily. The harnessed horse
swings its tail and its head. A white-haired urchin, in broad blue breeches,
lets his brown feet hang over the edge of the cart and stares with his bright
hazel eyes at a gaunt, evil-looking dog which runs after, barking hoarsely.
Elena Kirillovna gives a sigh—there is as yet no Borya—and enters
the garden.
Glasha’s light-coloured blouse glimmers on the terrace. There is a rattle
of dishes. The grumbling chatter of Borya’s old nurse is also audible.
The last to awake, with the sun quite high and scorching, is Borya’s
mother, Sofia Alexandrovna. Through the thin bright curtains, drawn for the
night across the windows, the light fills her bedroom.
Sofia Alexandrovna awakes with a start, as though some one had touched her
suddenly or had called to her. With her right hand she impetuously throws aside
her light white bed-cover. Quickly she sits up in bed, holding her hands over
her bent knees. For a moment she looks before her at a bare place in the simple
pattern of the bright green hangings.
Sofia Alexandrovna’s eyes are dark, wide open, with black, fiery pupils
which seem lost in the abysmal, depths of their own sorrowful gaze. Her face is
long, its skin smooth and colourless, though quite fresh and almost free of
wrinkles. The lips are a vivid red.
Sofia Alexandrovna’s expression is like that of one faced suddenly with a
tragic apparition. She rocks herself back and forward.
Then, abruptly, she jumps out of bed with a single spring. She runs to the
washing-basin of marble mounted on a red stand. She washes herself quickly, as
though in haste to go somewhere. Now she is at the window. The curtains are
flung violently aside. She peers anxiously to see what the outlook
is—whether there are any clouds in the sky that might bring rain and make
the road muddy, the road upon which Borya would return home.
The heavens are tremulously joyous. The birches are rustling quietly. The
sparrows are twittering. Everything is green, bright, quivering; everything
palpitates under the tension of hopes and anticipations. Voices are audible;
cries of good cheer and sounds of laughter. One of the laughers runs by, as
though making haste to live.
A torrent of tears floods Sofia Alexandrovna’s eyes. Her breast heaves
visibly under the white linen chemise.
Sofia Alexandrovna goes to the image. She thrusts aside with her foot the small
velvet rug which Glasha had purposely laid there the day before. She throws
herself down on her knees before the image. You hear her knees strike the floor
softly. Sofia Alexandrovna quietly crosses herself, bends her face to the
floor, and mutters passionately:
“O Lord, Thou knowest, Thou knowest all, Thou canst do all. Do this, O
Lord, return him to us, to his mother, return him to-day.”
Her prayer is warm and passionate, quite unlike a prayer. Its words are
disconnected, and they fall confusedly, like small, broken tears. Her naked
feet come in contact with the cold, painted floor. And the entire, warm,
prostrate body of the weeping woman is throbbing and trembling on the boards.
Her head repeatedly strikes the boards, loosening her dark braids of hair.
She does not pray long. The torrents of tears have cleansed her soul, as it
were; and she becomes at once cheerful and tranquil.
She rises quite, as suddenly, and rings. She seats herself on the edge of the
bed, and dries her tears with a soft handkerchief. Then she laughs silently.
She swings one of her feet impatiently, striking the rug in front of the bed
with the toes. Her eyes wander about the room, but seem to observe nothing.
Glasha had only just begun to dress, and she had only tied the strings of her
apron round her slender waist. The sharp impatient ring causes her to start.
She runs to the barinya, seizing quickly at the same time a pair of
blackened boots and some clothes from the laundry.
Sofia Alexandrovna cries in an urgent voice:
“Now be quick, Glasha. Help me on with my things.”
She looks on impatiently as Glasha puts down her burden.
The daily ceremony is gone through quickly. Sofia Alexandrovna dresses herself.
Glasha only draws on her boots, and hooks up her dress behind.
Soon Sofia Alexandrovna is quite ready. She gives a brief, vacant look in the
mirror.
Her pale face still seems to be young and handsome. She is slender, like her
mother, and small in stature. She has on a closely fitting white dress with
short, wide sleeves. Her coiffure is arranged in a Greek knot, held fast with a
red ribbon. Her slender, shapely feet are clad in coloured silk stockings and
white shoes with silver buckles.
Sofia Alexandrovna goes quickly into the dining-room. She pours herself a glass
of fresh milk out of a jug on the table. She drinks it standing, and munches a
piece of black bread with it.
She orders the things for dinner at the same time. She chooses dishes loved by
Borya. She stops to recollect whether Borya likes this, or does not like that.
Stepanida listens to her sadly, and replies in a tearful voice:
“Yes, I know! Why shouldn’t I know? It’s not the first
time.”
Glasha asks something. The old, tottering nurse rattles on rather volubly.
Sofia Alexandrovna answers them mechanically and rapidly. She seems all the
while to be listening intently, either for the sound of a distant little bell,
or for the rumble of wheels on the road. She makes her way out in haste. And
she no longer listens to what is being said to her. She goes out.
She enters Borya’s study. Everything there is as in the old days, and in
order. When Borya comes back he will find everything in its place.
Sofia Alexandrovna, with great concern, takes a rapid look round the room. She
wishes to see whether everything is in its place, whether the dust has been
swept, whether the rug has been laid before the bed, and whether the inkstand
has been filled with ink. She herself changes the water in the vase which holds
the cornflowers. If anything is out of place she gives way to tears, then rings
for Glasha, and heaps reproaches upon her.
Glasha’s face assumes a frightened, compassionate look. In a most humble
manner she begs forgiveness.
Sofia Alexandrovna remonstrates with her:
“How can you be so careless, Glasha? You know that we are expecting him
every minute. Suppose he should suddenly come in and find this disorder.”
Glasha replies humbly:
“Forgive me, barinya. Don’t think any more about it.
I’ll quickly put everything to rights.”
As she goes out she wipes away two or three tears with her white apron.
With the same undue haste Sofia Alexandrovna goes into the garden. She sees
nothing, neither the white Aphrodite nor her roses, on her way to the little
arbour from which, overlooking a corner of the garden, the road is visible.
Vividly green in the sun, a four-sloped roof covers the arbour, while hangings
of coarse cloth, with a red border, serve as a protection against inquisitive
eyes.
Sofia Alexandrovna looks down the road with dark, hungry eyes. She waits
impatiently, listening to the rapid, uneven beat of her heart; she waits: Borya
will surely come in sight.
The wind blows into her face, and partly conceals it with the hangings; her
face is pale, and her eyes are dry. The sun warmly kisses her slender arms,
which lie motionless on the broad, lavender-grey parapet of the arbour.
Everything is bright, green and gay in the fields, but her eyes are fixed on
the grey serpent of dust trailing among the freedom of the fields.
If they await him like this surely Borya will come.
But there is no sign of him. In vain her hungry glances penetrate the open
waste. There is no Borya. More fixed and piercing grows her glance of infinite
longing upon the road—but there is no Borya.
Everything is as before, as yesterday, as always. Tranquil, serene and
pitiless.
The hour of the early luncheon came. All three sat at the table on the terrace.
There was a fourth place laid, and a fourth chair, for who could tell whether
Borya might not arrive at luncheon time!
The sun was already high. The day was turning sultry. The fragrance of the red
roses at the foot of the goddess’s pedestal became ever more passionate.
And the smile of the marble-white Aphrodite was even more clear and serene, as
she let fall her draperies with a marvellous grace born of eternal movement. In
the bright sunshine the sand on the footpaths seemed yellow-white. The trees
cast austere dark shadows. They seemed to exhale an odour of the soil, of sap,
and of warmth.
The women sat so that each one of them, looking beyond the drawn hangings of
the terrace and over the bushes, could see the short narrow path ending at the
garden gate, where a part of the road was also visible; they could not fail to
observe every passer-by and every vehicle.
But during this hour of the day hardly anyone ever walked or drove by the old
house.
Glasha waited on them. She had on a newly-laundered cap with starched ribbons
and plaited frills fitting tightly over her hair. The snow-white cap shone
pleasantly above Glasha’s fresh, sunburnt face.
In the garden, on a form just under the terrace, sat Borya’s old nurse,
dressed in a dark lavender blouse, black skirt, with a dark blue kerchief over
her head. She was warming her old bones in the sun, and listening to the
conversation on the terrace; now she grumbled, now she dozed.
Broad-boned and stout, she had a round, amiable face, and even through the
compact network of wrinkles there were palpable suggestions of former beauty.
Her eyes were clear. The grey hair was flatly combed down. Her figure and her
face wore a settled expression of languid good nature.
As always, they eat and drink, and they keep up a cheerful and friendly
chatter. Sometimes two of them speak together. A stranger in the garden might
conclude that a large company is gathered on the terrace.
Frequently Borya’s name is mentioned.
“To be sure, Borya likes....”
“Perhaps Borya will bring....”
“It is strange Borya is not yet here....”
“Perhaps Borya will come in the evening....”
“We must ask Borya whether he has read....”
“It is possible this is not new to Borya....”
While below, under the terrace, the old nurse, each time she hears
Borya’s name, crosses herself and mumbles:
“O Lord, rest the soul of thy servant, Boris.”
At first her voice is low, but it gradually grows louder and louder. Finally
the three women at the table can hear her words. They tremble slightly and
exchange anxious glances, into which steals an expression of perplexed fear. So
they begin to speak even louder, and to laugh even more merrily. They permit no
intervals of silence, and the hum of their talk and laughter prevents for the
time their hearing the nurse’s mumbling in the garden.
But their voices inevitably fall after a mention of the beloved name, and now
again they hear the tranquil, terrible words:
“O Lord, rest the soul....”
They sit at luncheon long, but they talk more industriously than they eat. They
glance nervously toward the gate. It seems a terrible thing to have to leave
the table and to go somewhere while Borya is not yet with them.
Toward the end of luncheon the post arrives. Grisha, a fourteen-year-old
youngster, goes for it daily to the station on horseback. Raising clouds of
dust he jumps off briskly at the gate. Leaving his horse he enters the garden
carrying a black leather bag, and smiles broadly at something or other.
Ascending the long steps of the terrace he announces loudly and joyously:
“I’ve fetched the post!”
He is cheery, sunburnt, perspiring. He smells of the sun, of the soil, of dust
and tar. His hands and feet are as large as a man’s. His lips are soft
and pouting, like those of a sweet-tempered foal. At the opening of his shirt,
cut on the slant, buttons are missing, exposing a strip of his sunburnt chest
and a piece of grey string.
Sofia Alexandrovna rises abruptly from her place. She takes the bag from
Grisha, and throws it quickly on the table. A pile of stamped wrappers comes
pouring upon the white cloth. The three women bend over the table and rummage
for letters. But letters come only rarely.
Knitting her brows Natasha looks at the smiling youngster and asks:
“No letters, Grisha?”
Grisha, shuffling his feet, brick-red from the sun, smiles and answers, as
always, in the same words:
“The letters are being written, barishnya.”
Sofia Alexandrovna says impatiently:
“You may go, Grisha.”
Grisha goes. The women open their newspapers.
Sofia Alexandrovna takes up the Rech and scans it rapidly, occasionally
mentioning something that has attracted her notice.
Natasha is looking over Slovo. She reads silently, slowly, and
attentively.
Elena Kirillovna has the Russkiya Vedomosti. She tears the wrapper open
slowly and spreads the entire sheet on the table. She reads on, quickly running
her eyes over the lines.
Groaning, the old nurse slowly ascends the steps. Sofia Alexandrovna pauses
from her reading a moment and looks with fear at the old woman. Natasha gives a
nervous start and turns away. Elena Kirillovna reads on calmly, without looking
at the nurse.
The nurse sighs, sits down on the bench at the entrance, and asks in a monotone
the one and the same question that she asks each day:
“And how many folk are there in this morning’s paper that’s
been ordered to die? And how many are there that’s been hanged?”
Sofia Alexandrovna drops the paper, and suddenly rising, very pale, looks upon
the old woman. She is quivering from head to foot. Elena Kirillovna, folding
the paper, pushes it aside and looks straight before her with arrested eyes.
Natasha rises; she turns her face, which has suddenly grown pale, toward the
old woman, and utters in a kind of wooden voice that does not seem like her
own:
“In Ekaterinoslav—seven; in Moscow—one.”
Or other towns, and other figures—such as fresh newspaper lists bring
each day.
The nurse rises and crosses herself piously. She mutters:
“O Lord, rest the souls of Thy servants! And give them eternal
life!”
Then Sofia Alexandrovna cries out in despair:
“Oh Borya, Borya, my Borya!”
Her face is as pale as though there were not a single drop of blood left under
her dull, elastic skin.
Wringing her hands with a convulsive movement, she looks with terror at Elena
Kirillovna and at her daughter. Elena Kirillovna turns aside, and, looking at
the old nurse, shakes her head reproachfully, while in her eyes, like drops of
early evening dew, appear a few scant tears.
Natasha, looking determinedly at her mother, says with pale, quivering lips:
“Mamma, calm yourself.”
Suddenly her voice becomes cold and wooden again as though some evil stranger
compelled her each day to utter her words slowly and deliberately.
“You yourself know, mamma, that Borya was hanged a full year ago!”
She looks at her mother with the motionless, pathetic gaze of her very dark
eyes, and repeats:
“You yourself know this, mamma!”
Sofia Alexandrovna’s eyes are widely dilated; dull, there is terror in
them, and the deep pupils burn with an impercipient lustre in their dark
depths. She repeats almost soundlessly, looking straight into Natasha’s
eyes:
“Hanged!”
She resumes her place, looks out of her sad eyes at the white Aphrodite and the
red roses at the goddess’s feet, and is silent. Her face is white and
rigid, her lips are red and tightly set; there is a suggestion of latent
madness in the still lustre of her eyes.
Before the image of eternal beauty, before the fragrance of the short-lived,
exultant roses, she is hardening as it were into an image of the eternal grief
of a disconsolate mother.
Elena Kirillovna quietly descends the narrow side staircase into the garden.
She sits down on a bench somewhat away from the house, looks upon the green
bedecked pond and weeps.
Natasha goes into her room in the mezzanine. She opens a book and tries to
read. But she finds it impossible. She puts the book aside and looks out of the
window, and her eyes are dimmed.
Higher and higher above the old house rises the pitiless, bright Dragon. His
joyous laughter rings in the merry heights, encloses, as in a flaming circle,
the depressing silence of the house. The well-directed rays shoot out like
sharp-plumed arrows, and the air is tremulous with eternal, inexhaustible
anger. No one is being awaited. No one will come. Borya has died. The
relentless wheel of time knows no turning back.
So the day is passing—clearly and brightly. The dazzling white light says
there is nothing to hope for.
Natasha sits in her room before an open window. A book is lying on the
window-sill. She has no desire to read.
Every line in the book reminds her of him, of unfinished conversations, of
heated discussions, of what had been, of what is no more.
The memories become brighter and brighter, and reach at last a clearness and
fullness of vision, overwhelming her soul.
The fiery Dragon, obscured by a leaden grey cloud, becomes a little dim.
Dimness also creeps into the memory of him. It seems as though the heavens are
being traversed by the cold, clear, tranquil moon. Her face is pale, but not
from sadness. Her rays have cast a spell upon the sleeping earth and upon the
unattainably high heavens.
The moon has bewitched the fields and also the valleys, which are full of mist.
There is a dull glimmer in the drops of cool, tranquil dew upon the slumbering
grass.
There is in this fantastic glimmer the resurrection of that which has
died—of that past tenderness and love which inspired deeds requiring
superhuman strength. There come again to the lips proud, long-unsung hymns, and
vows of action and loyalty.
And what of that evil, vigilant, and instigating eye; and what of the traitor
whose words mingled with the passionate words of the young people! Not even the
waters of all the cold oceans can quench the fire of daring love, and all the
cunning poisons of the earth cannot poison it.
Bewitched with the lunar mystery, the wood stands expectant, nebulous, silent.
Incomprehensible and inaccessible to men is its slow, sure experience, and the
secret of its forged desires.
Into its lunar silence men have brought the revolt, the speech and laughter of
youth; but, overcome by the lunar mystery, they are suddenly grown silent and
meditative.
The open glade in the woods, enchanted by the green, cold light of the moon,
seems very white. Along the edge of the glade lie the shadows of the trees;
they seem unreal and nebulous and mysteriously still.
The moon, very slowly, almost stealthily, is rising higher in the pale blue
dome. Round, cold, half lost in the milk-white mist as behind a thin veil, she
disperses by her dispassionate gaze the nebulous, silent tops of the slumbering
trees, and looks down upon the glade with the motionless, inquisitive glance of
her white eyes.
The thin particles of dew scattered over the cold grasses vanish—the
white nocturnal haze drinks them greedily. The air is oppressively sweet. On
the edge of the glade a number of slender, erect, white-limbed birches emerge
out of the mist; they are still asleep, and as innocent as their girl
companions who rest beneath them in their green-white dresses.
Reposing under the slender birches in the glade is a party of girls, young men
and grown-up people. One sits on the stump of a felled tree, another on the
trunk of an old birch struck down in a storm, a third lies upon an overcoat
spread on the grass, a fourth rests his back against a young birch. There is a
single, slight glow of a cigarette, but this, too, goes out.
In the luminous, haunting mist everything seems white, translucent, fabulously
impressive. And it seems as though the birches in the glade and the moon in the
sky are waiting for something.
Here is Natasha. Here is also Natasha’s friend, a college girl from
Moscow, white-skinned, sharp-featured, looking like a healthy little wild
beast. Then there are Borya and his friend, both in linen jackets, both lean,
with pale faces and dark, flaming eyes.
And there is yet another—a tall, stout figure in a dark blouse. He has an
air of self-confidence and seems to be the most knowing, the most experienced,
the most able of those present.
He is surrounded by the grown-up people and the girls, and he is being
questioned. Cheery, good-natured, impatient voices appeal to him.
“Do sing for us the International.”
Borya, a lad with pale, frowning forehead, and blue-black circles under his
eyes, looks into the other’s face and implores more heartily than the
rest.
The tall, broad-chested Mikhail Lvovich looks askance and stubbornly refuses to
sing.
“I can’t,” he says gruffly. “My throat is not in
condition.”
Borya and Natasha insist.
Mikhail Lvovich then makes a gesture with his hand and accedes not less
gruffly.
“Very well, I’ll sing.”
Every one is overjoyed.
Mikhail Lvovich poses himself on his knees. Above the mist-white glade, above
the white-faced lads, above the white mist itself, there rises toward the
witching moon, floating tranquilly in the skies, the words of that proud,
passionate hymn:
“Arise, ye branded with a curse!”
Mikhail Lvovich sings. His eyes are fixed on the ground, upon the cold grass,
white in the glamorous light of the full, clear moon. It is hard to tell
whether he does not wish to or cannot look straight into the eyes of these
girls and boys—into these trusting, clean eyes.
And they have gathered round him, how closely they have nestled round him,
these pure-spirited young girls; and the young lads, their knees in the grass,
follow every movement of his lips, and join in quietly. The bold melody grows,
gains in volume. Like an exultant prophecy ring the eloquent words:
In the International
As brothers all men shall meet.
Mikhail has finished the song. For a time no one speaks. Then the agitated
voices all ring out together, stirring the heavy silence of the woods.
Clear, girlish eyes are looking earnestly upon Mikhail Lvovich’s morose
set face. A clear, girlish voice implores insistently and gently:
“Sing again, please. Be a dear. Sing it once more. I will make a note of
the words. I want to know them by heart.”
Natasha approaches nearer and says quietly:
“We will all of us learn the words and sing them each day, like a prayer.
We shall do it with a full heart.”
Mikhail Lvovich at last lifts his eyes. They are small, sparkling, shrewd. This
time they have fixed themselves severely and inquisitively on Natasha’s
face, which suddenly has become confused at this snake-like glance.
Mikhail Lvovich addresses her gruffly.
“It doesn’t require much bravery to sing on the quiet, in the
woods. Any one can do that.”
Natasha’s face becomes pale. Dark flames of unchildish determination
kindle in her eyes. Excitedly she cries:
“We will learn the words, and we will sing them where they are wanted. My
God, are we to depend upon words, and upon words alone? We are ready for
deeds.”
Borya repeats after her: “We are ready. We shall do all that is
necessary. Yes, even die if need be.”
Mikhail Lvovich says with a calm assurance:
“Yes, I know.”
In his eyes, fixed intently upon the ground, a dim, small flame is visible.
There is a short silence. Then a thin voice is heard. It is the girl, slender
as a young birch, with the sharp, cheerful little face, who is speaking.
“My God! What strength! What eloquence!”
Mikhail Lvovich slowly turns his face toward her. He smiles severely and says
nothing.
The girl has her hands clasped across her knees. It is an extremely pretty
pose. Her face has suddenly assumed a very grave air, breathing passionate
entreaty and fiery determination. She exclaims fervently:
“Let’s all sing the chorus! Mikhail Lvovich will teach us. You will
teach us, Mikhail Lvovich, won’t you?”
“Very well,” Mikhail Lvovich replies with his usual severe dignity.
He casts his dull, heavy gaze round the crowded circle of delighted young
faces. He alone sits with his back to the open glade and to the witching moon.
His face, now in the shade, has become even more significant. And his whole
bearing is one of imposing solemnity.
The faces of the younger people are white in the moonlight. Their garments are
luminously bright. Their voices are brilliantly clear. In their simple trust
there is the sense of an avowal.
“Well, let us begin!” exclaims the slender girl, somewhat agitated.
Mikhail Lvovich raises his hand with a solemn gesture and begins:
“Arise, ye branded with a curse!”
The children sing with a will, mingling their high, clear voices with Mikhail
Lvovich’s deep, low voice. Their young voices are blazing with the
passionate flame of freedom and revolt. Higher and still higher, above the
white mists, above the black forest, toward the silver clouds and the quiet
glimmering stars, toward the aspectful moon, rise the sounds of the invocation.
And the white-trunked birches, the milk-white moon, motionless in the sky, the
white, silvery grass, pressed down by children’s knees—all is
still, all is silent, all is harkening with a sensitive ear. Everything around
listens with poignant and solemn intentness to the song of these luminous
children who, bathed in the translucent silver of the cool, lunar glimmer,
their knees on the grass, their eyes burning in their uplifted faces, are
repeating faithfully the words sung by the tall, self-contained young man whose
dark face with fixed glance gazes morosely on the ground. They repeat after
him:
In the International
As brothers all men shall meet.
The strange foreign word, un-Russian in its ring, suggests to them the lofty,
holy designation of a promised land, a new land under new skies, a land in
which they have faith.
After the hymn there is silence, a holy silence, solemn and palpable, reaching
from the earth to the heavens. They might have been in the temple of a new, as
yet unknown religion, in a mystic moment of sacrificial rites.
Mikhail Lvovich is the first to break the silence. He speaks slowly, looking at
no one and directing his heavy gaze above the children’s pale faces,
beyond the flaming ring of their glances:
“My friends, you know the sort of time this is. Each one of us can be of
use. If any one of us is sent I hope that none will tremble for his precious
life, and that none will be deterred by the thought of a mother’s
sorrow.”
The children exclaim:
“None! None! If they would but send us!”
“What is the sorrow of a single mother compared to the suffering of an
entire nation!” thinks Natasha proudly.
There rises up for an instant a mental image of the ashen-pale face of her
mother, her intensely dark, eloquent eyes. A sharp pain, lasting a moment,
pierces her heart. What of that? It is, after all, but a single instant of
weakness. A proud will shall conquer this slight suffering of a single relative
by conferring great love upon the many, the strangers, the grievous sufferers.
What is the woe of one mother! Let Niobe weep eternally for her children,
killed by the burning, poisoned arrows of the high Dragon; let Rachel remain
unconsoled for ever—what is the woe of a poor mother? Serene is
Apollo’s face, radiant is Apollo’s dream.
Yet how painful, how painful! A dimness comes over the transcendent idea, as
though the dark countenance of the ominous figure who sang the proud hymn has
dimmed the moon and has cast an austere shadow upon the heart itself.
And now there is no moon, and no night, and no white glade in the mist in the
forest. The bright day stares again at Natasha, she is at the window, the book
lies before her, the old house is depressingly silent. The cloud has
disappeared, the heavens are clear again, the evil Dragon is once more aiming
his flaming arrows, he reiterates his conquest anew.
This cruel melancholy must be faced. Sting, accursed Dragon, burn, torment.
Rejoice, conqueror! But even he must soon go to his setting, and, dying, pour
out his blood upon half the heavens.
Natasha, a yellow straw hat upon her head, is now walking in the field. The
ground is hot, the sky is blue, the air is sultry and the wind asleep; the corn
is yellow, the grass is green. Bathed again in the bright heat, Natasha prods
her sweetly fatiguing memories, which cast into oblivion this dismal day.
She goes on—and there stretches before her, even as on a day long ago,
the hot golden field, with its tall stalks inclining their heads in the heat.
It is the revival of a former stifling, sultry midday.
That was in the days when Natasha still loved the good, human sun, the source
of life and joy, the eternal, the untiring herald of labours and deeds, of
deeds beyond the powers of man.
Oh, the treacherous speech of the Serpent Tempter! He turns our heads and he
entices, and he makes our poor earth seem like some fabulous kingdom.
Again there is a slight wavering stir in the sea of the heat-exhausted ears of
rye, studded over with little blue flowers which lower timidly their
sweetly-dazed heads from sultriness.
Natasha and her brother Boris are walking together, on an inviting narrow path
among the golden waves of rye.
How high the rye is! One can barely see the green roof of the old house on the
right for the tall stalks, and the semi-circular window in the mezzanine: and
on the left the little grey, rough huts of the village.
Natasha and Boris follow one another. All around them the dry ears of rye waver
and rustle, and among them are the blue-eyed little cornflowers. The two
fragilely slender human silhouettes answered to the same wavering motion.
Natasha goes ahead. She turns to see why Boris has lagged behind. The boy,
brown and slender, with large burning eyes, attired in his linen jacket, is
gathering the little blue flowers. He has already gathered almost as many as
his hands can hold.
Natasha, laughing, says to her brother: “Enough, my dear, enough. I
shan’t be able to carry them all.”
“You’ll do it easily enough, never fear!” Boris answers
cheerfully.
Natasha stretches out her sunburnt hand to take the flowers. The sheaf of blue
cornflowers, spreading across her breast, almost hides her, she is so slender.
Again Boris addresses her cheerfully: “Well, is it heavy?”
Natasha laughs. Her face lights up with the joy of gratitude, and with a
cheerful, childlike determination. “I will carry these, but no
more!” she says.
“I want to gather as many as possible for you.” Boris’s voice
is serious; “because you know we may not see each other for some
time.” There is a quaver in his voice as he says this.
“Perhaps, never,” Natasha, growing pensive, replies.
Both faces become sad and careworn.
Boris, frowning, glances sideways, and asks: “Natasha, are you going with
him?”
Natasha knows that Boris is inquiring about Mikhail Lvovich, who is now sending
her on a dangerous business, and who has also promised to send Boris on some
foolhardy errand. The brave are so often foolhardy.
“No, I am going alone,” Natasha replies, “he will only lead
me later to the spot.”
Boris looks at Natasha with gloomy, envious eyes, and asks rather cautiously:
“Are you frightened, Natasha?”
Natasha smiles. And what pride there is in her smile! She speaks, and her voice
is tranquil: “No, Boris, I feel happy.”
Boris observes that her face is really happy, and that her dark, flaming eyes
are cheerful enough. Looking at her thus, her tranquillity communicates itself
to him, and inspires him with a calm confidence in himself and in the business
in hand.
The children go farther. Boris again gathers the cornflowers. Natasha is musing
about something. She has broken off an ear of rye, and is absently nibbling at
the grain.
It is a long, hot, sultry day. The inexorable Dragon looks down indifferently
upon the children. Unwearying, he aims his bright, vivid shafts at the
sunburnt, fiery-eyed lad and at the slender, erect, black-eyed girl. His
blazing shafts are evil, and they are well aimed; and his strong clear light is
pitiless—but she walks on, and in her eyes there is hope, and in her eyes
there is resolution, and in her dark eyes there is a flame which sets the soul
afire to achieve deeds beyond the powers of man.
Natasha suddenly pauses at the end of the path by the dusty road. Her eyes look
at Boris full of tender admiration. It is evident that she desires to stamp
upon her memory all the beloved features of the familiar tanned face—the
curve of the dense brows, the rigid set of the red lips, the firm outlines of
the chin, the stern profile.
Natasha sighs lightly and addresses Boris gently and cheerfully:
“Enough, dearest. They may not let me into the train with a heap like
this. They will say: ‘This should be put in the luggage
van.’”
Both laugh carelessly. And still Boris is loath to leave the cornflowers. He
says:
“Only a few more. I want you to have a gigantic bouquet.”
“You would have everything gigantic!” Natasha returns
good-humouredly.
But her face is serious. She knows how deep this quality is in him, and how
significant. Boris looks at her, and in answer repeats his favourite, his most
intimate thought:
“Yes, it is true. I love all bigness, all immoderation. In everything! In
everything! If we only acted like this always! And gave ourselves wholly to a
thing! Oh, how different life would be!”
Natasha, lost in thought, repeats: “Yes, big things, things beyond the
powers of man. To make life lavish. Only no stinginess, no trembling for
one’s skin. Far better to die—to gather all life into one little
knot, and to throw it away!”
“Yes, yes,” says Boris, and his eyes, dark as night, glow with the
fury of a yet distant storm. “We must have no care for lives, but be
lavish with them, lavish to the end—only then may we reach our
goal!”
They cross the road and again walk calmly along a narrow path. Her dress is
white among the golden waves. Natasha stretches out her slender hand, the ears
of rye rustle dryly and solid seeds of ripe rye fall into it. They are struck
from above by the vivid shafts of the pitiless Dragon.
The children are walking on, conscious of their vow. They go trustingly, and
they do not know that he who sends them is a traitor, and that their sacrifice
is vain.
What is this dry rustling all around? It is the rye. But where are the little
cornflowers, where is Boris? The little blue-eyed flowers are in the rye, and
Boris has been hanged.
“And I?” Natasha asks herself in a strange, oppressive perplexity.
She looks round her like one just awakened.
“Why am I here?”
She answers herself: “I escaped. A lucky chance saved me.”
Natasha is oppressed by the thought. How had she survived it? “Far better
if I had perished!”
It all happened very simply. Natasha, being Number Three, was placed at the
railway station itself, her duty being contingent on the failure of Number One
and Number Two. But the first was successful, though he himself perished in the
explosion.
The second, upon hearing the explosion not far away, lost his presence of mind.
He ran to save himself. He caught a cab, and got off near the river. Here he
hired a row-boat. When near the middle of the river, he threw the bomb into the
water. The man who rowed had guessed that something was wrong. Besides, he had
been seen from the Government steamer and from the banks. Number Two was taken,
tried and hanged.
Natasha did not betray herself in any way. She walked calmly, without haste,
bearing her dangerous burden, observed by no one. She mixed freely with the
passing crowd. She delivered the bomb at the appointed place.
A few days later she left for home. She had not been followed. Natasha was
awaiting a second commission, and quite suddenly she abandoned the business,
because her trust in it had died.
It happened even before Borya was hanged. But her decision came finally in
those nightmare days when, quickly and unexpectedly, his life came to an end.
Those were terrible days.
But, no, it is better not to think of them, it is better not to remember them.
To remember them is to suffer. Far better to remember other things, things
cloudless and long past.
Oh magic mirror of memory, so much is reflected in thee! Beloved images pass by
with a kind of glimmer.
There were the flowers, which they themselves looked after. There was one
flower-bed which they cared for with especial tenderness. There was the fresh,
intoxicating evening aroma of gilliflower. There was the cluster of jasmine,
dewy at dawn, so sweetly and so gently fragrant, that one wished to weep in its
presence, as the grass weeps its tears of dew at golden dawn.
Then there was the open space in the garden, and the giant-stride in the
centre. What gigantic steps they took! How fast and how high she flew round
with Boris!
How glorious were the feast-days to the childish hearts. There was Christmas
Eve, with its tree, and candles upon the green branches, with all the
many-coloured glitter of golden nuts, red, green and blue trimmings, snow-white
foils of cotton-wool, offerings which gladdened with their unexpectedness. Then
in the daytime there is real snow, glittering like salt, and crunching under
one’s feet; the frost pinches the cheeks, the sun is shining, their
mittens are of the softest down, their hats are white and soft, the sleds are
flying down hillocks—oh, what joy!
And now Easter is here. What a solemn night! Then the joyous chanting of
matins. The candle flames are everywhere, there seems to be no end to them.
There is a smell of Easter cakes. There are Easter eggs painted in all colours.
Every one is kissing each other. Every one is happy.
“Christoss Voskress!”
“Voistinu Voskress!”
But the dear dead do not stir.
No. The beloved memories do not break the continuity of the circle, the
resurrection of the others—the fearsome, tragic memories. Inevitably the
vision leads on to the last terrible moments.
They lived in the capital that winter. Boris was studying his final term in the
gymnasia. For Christmas he went to another city: to relatives, he said.
Natasha was suspicious. But he did not tell her the truth.
“Really, nothing,” he answered to all her questions. “No one
is sending me. I am going of my own accord. To see Aunt Liuba.”
And Natasha did not insist.
For several days she did not get any letters from him. But she did not worry.
Boris disliked writing letters. They thought he was enjoying himself.
It was an evening in early January. Her mother and grandmother had gone out
visiting. Natasha, pleading a headache, remained at home.
“I’ll lie down on the sofa. It will pass away.”
The truth was she thought the home of her affected, worldly relatives a dull
place, and she had no desire to go there.
The maid had leave to go out. Natasha remained in the house alone. She lay down
in her room on the sofa with an interesting new book.
After the cheer and ease of the holidays, Natasha felt in good spirits. She was
comfortable, tranquil and cheerful. The hangings on the windows were
impenetrably opaque. The lamp, burning brightly and evenly, concealed its
garish white blaze from her eyes under its trimmed, beaded shade. The whole
small room was lost in a luminous twilight.
At last, however, page after page of running lines of print tired Natasha. She
dropped into a doze, and was shortly sound asleep. The open book fell softly on
the rug.
Suddenly a bell rings. Natasha gives a start.
Ours? No. The bell rang so timidly, so hesitatingly. It was as though she heard
it ring in a dream, and not in reality; again, it might have been the ring of
some mischievous urchin.
Perhaps she had only imagined it. It is so comfortable to doze. She feels too
lazy to get up. Let them ring.
But here is a second ring, more insistent and louder.
Natasha jumps up and runs into the vestibule, rearranging her hair on the way.
Remembering that she is alone in the house she does not open the door, but
asks: “Who’s there?”
From behind the door she can hear the low, somewhat hoarse voice of the
telegraph boy: “A telegram.”
Her heart begins to beat with fright. It is always terrible to receive
telegrams. For only good news travels slowly. Bad news makes haste.
Natasha puts one end of the door-chain to a little hook in the door. Then she
opens the door partly and looks out. There stands the messenger in his uniform,
with a metal plate in his cap. He hands her the telegram.
“Sign here, miss.”
The grey-white, dry paper trembles in Natasha’s hands. Natasha feels a
sudden tug at her heart. She speaks incoherently:
“What is it? Oh my God! Sign, did you say?”
She runs to the table. Her hands tremble. She has managed somehow to scrawl her
family name “Ozoreva,” the pen hesitating and scratching upon the
grey paper.
“Here is the signature.”
Across the little door-chain she thrusts the signed paper and a tip into the
hand of the messenger. Then she bangs the door to after him. Now she is in
front of the lamp. What can it be?
Tearing the seal open she reads. Terrible words. Such simple, yet such
incomprehensible words. Because they are about Boris.
“Boris has shot ——. Arrested with comrades. Military trial
to-morrow. Death sentence threatened.”
Natasha re-reads the telegram. A sudden terror, strangely akin to shame, for a
moment strikes at her heart. She can hear the heavy beat of blood in her
temples. She is, as it were, being strangled from all sides; she can hardly
breathe; the walls seem to have come together, oppressing her on all sides; and
the rapid, pale, pencilled strokes seem also to have run together into one
jumble on the grey paper.
Certain thoughts, one after the other, slowly make way into Natasha’s
dimmed consciousness—oppressive, evil, pitiless thoughts.
Stupefied, she wonders how she shall tell her mother. She observes that her
hands tremble. She recalls the telephone number of the Lareyevs, where her
mother undoubtedly is.
Then terror seizes her anew; she shivers violently from head to foot as with
ague. Her mind is a whirl of confusion.
“No, it is a mistake! It cannot be. It is a cruel, senseless mistake! It
is some one’s stupid, cruel joke.”
Boris, our beloved boy, with his fine honest eyes—think of him hanging!
There will be a rattle in his throat, as strangling, he will swing in the
noose. With sharp, clutching pain, the gentle, childish neck will tighten; the
sunburnt face will grow purple; the swollen tongue will creep out all in froth,
and the widely dilated eyes will reflect the terror of cruel death.
No, no, it cannot be! It is a mistake! But who can be malicious enough to make
such a mistake?
And then where is Boris?
Her cold reasoning says that it is so, that no mistake has been made. The words
are clear, the address is correct—yes, yes! It was really to be expected.
Here it is, this lavishness of life which he dreamt of, which they both dreamt
of. “I love all immoderation. To be lavish—only then we may reach
our goal!”
Her legs tremble. She feels herself terribly weak. She sits down on the sofa.
Oh God, what’s to be done? How is she to tell her mother this terrible
thing?
Or should she conceal it? And do everything that could be done by herself? But
no, she could do ridiculously little herself!
It is necessary to tell. It must be done quickly. She must not lose an instant.
Perhaps it is still possible to save Boris, by going, by petitioning.
Why is she sitting still then? It is necessary to act at once.
Natasha seizes the telephone. What a long time the operator takes to answer.
At last she is connected. She can hear sounds of music and the hum of voices.
A cheerful, familiar voice asks:
“Who’s there?”
“It is Natasha Ozoreva.”
“Good evening, Natasha,” says Marusya Lareyeva loudly. “What
a pity you did not come. We are having a fine time.”
“Good evening, dear Marusya. Is mamma with you?”
“Yes, she is here. Shall I call her?”
“No, no, for God’s sake. Let some one break it to her....”
“Has anything happened?”
“Marusya, a terrible misfortune. Our Boris has been arrested.”
“My God! For what?”
“I don’t know. He’ll have a military trial. I feel desperate.
It’s so terrible. For God’s sake, don’t frighten mother too
much. Tell her to come home at once, please.”
“Oh, my God, how awful!”
“Oh, Marusya, dearest, for God’s sake, be quick.”
“I’ll tell my mother at once. Wait at the telephone,
Natasha.”
Natasha holds the receiver to her ear and waits. She hears the noise of
footsteps. Some one has begun to sing.
Then again the same voice, extremely agitated:
“Natasha, do you hear? Your mother wants to speak to you herself.”
Natasha trembles with fright. Good God, what shall she tell her mother! She
inquires:
“What? Is she coming herself to the telephone?” she asks.
“Yes, yes. Your mother is here now.”
The voice of Sofia Alexandrovna, terribly agitated, is heard:
“Natasha, is that you? For God’s sake, what has happened?”
Natasha replies:
“Yes, mamma, it is I. A telegram has come. Mamma, don’t be
frightened, it must be a mistake.”
This time the voice is more controlled.
“Read me the telegram at once.”
“Just a moment. I’ll get it,” says Natasha.
The telegram is read.
“What, a military trial?”
“Yes, military.”
“To-morrow?”
“Yes, yes, to-morrow.”
“Death sentence threatened?”
“Mamma, please be yourself, for God’s sake. Perhaps something can
be done.”
“We must go there. Get the things ready, Natasha. Mother and I are
returning at once, and we will take the first train out.”
The conversation is at an end.
Natasha is alone. She runs about the deserted house, letting things fall in the
poignant silence. She is busy with travelling bags and with pillows.
She stops to look at the time-table. There is a train at half-past twelve. Yes,
there is still time to catch it.
Then the bell rings, frightening her even more than the earlier ring. The
mother and the grandmother have arrived, pale and distraught.
A sleepless, wearisome journey in the train. The wheels roll on with a
measured, jarring sound. Stops are made. How slow it all is! How agonizing! If
only it would be quicker, quicker!
Or were it better to wish that time should be arrested? That its huge, shaggy
wings outspread and flapping above the world should suddenly become motionless?
That its owlish glance should be stilled for ever in the instant just before
the terrible word is said?
They reach their destination in the morning. At the station, a dirty, dejected
place, they are met by a cousin of Natasha’s, an attorney by profession.
From his pale, worried face, they guess that everything is over.
He talks quickly and incoherently. He comforts them with hopes in which he
himself does not believe. The trial had been held early that morning. Boris and
both his comrades—all of the same green youth—had been sentenced to
die by hanging. The court would entertain no appeal. The only hope lay in the
district general. He was really not a bad man at heart. Perhaps, by imploring,
he might be induced to lighten the sentence to that of hard labour for an
indefinite period.
Poor mothers! What is it they implore?
Sofia Alexandrovna and Natasha arrived at the general’s. They waited long
in the quiet, cold-looking reception-room; the glossy parquet floor shone,
portraits in heavy gilt frames hung on the walls, and the careful steps of
uniformed officials, coming through a large white door, resounded from time to
time.
At last they were received. The general listened most amiably, but declined
emphatically to do anything. He rose, clinked his spurs, and stretched himself
to his full height; He stood there tall, erect, his breast decorated with
orders, his head grey, his face ruddy, with black eyebrows and broad nose.
In vain the humiliating entreaties.
Pale, the proud mother knelt before the general and, weeping bitterly, she
kissed his hands and at last threw herself at his feet—all in vain. She
received the cold answer:
“I am sorry, madam, it is impossible. I understand your affliction, I
sympathize fully; with your sorrow, but what can I do? Whose fault is it? Upon
me lies a great responsibility toward my Emperor and my country. I have my
duty—I can’t help you. It is against yourself that you ought to
bring your reproaches—you’ve brought him up.”
Of what avail the tears of a poor mother? Strike thy head upon the parquet
floor, bend thy face to the black glitter of his boots; or else depart, proud
and silent. It is all the same, he can do nothing. Thy tears and thy entreaties
do not touch him, thy curses do not offend him. He is a kind man, he is the
loving father of a family, but his upright martial soul does not tremble before
the word death. More than once he had risked his life boldly in
battle—what is the life of a conspirator to him?
“But he is a mere boy!”
“No, madam, this is not a childish prank. I am sorry.”
He walks away. She hears the measured clinking of his spurs. The parquet floor
reflects dimly his tall, erect figure.
“General, have pity!”
The cold, white door has swung to after him. She hears the quiet, pleasant
voice of a young official. He raises her from the floor and helps her to find
her way out.
They granted a last meeting. A few minutes passed in questions, answers,
embraces, and tears.
Boris said very little.
“Don’t cry, mamma. I am not afraid. There is nothing else they can
do. They don’t feed you at all badly here. Remember me to all. And you,
Natasha, take care of mother. One sacrifice is enough from our family. Well,
good-bye.”
He seemed somehow callous and distant. He seemed to be thinking of something
else, of something he could tell no one. And his words had an external ring, as
though merely to make conversation.
That night, before daybreak, Boris was hanged. The scaffold was set up in the
gaol courtyard. The spot where he was buried was kept secret.
The mother implored the next day: “Show me his grave at least!”
What was there to show! He was laid in a coffin, he was put into a hole in the
earth and the soil that covered him was smoothed down to its original
level—we all know how such culprits are buried.
“Tell me at least how he died.”
“Well, he was a brave one. He was calm, a bit serious. And he refused a
priest, and would not kiss the cross.”
They returned home. A fog of melancholy hung over them, and within them there
lit up a spark of mad hope—no, Borya is not dead, Borya will return.
The thought that Boris had been hanged could not enter into their habitual,
everyday thoughts. Only in the hour when the sun was at its zenith, and in the
hour of the midnight moon, it would penetrate their awakened consciousness like
a sharp poniard. Again it would pierce the soul with a sharp, tormenting pain,
and again it would vanish in the dim mist of dawn with a kind of dull agony.
And again, the same unreasonable conviction would awake in their hearts.
No, Borya will return. The bell will suddenly ring, and the door will be opened
to him.
“Oh, Borya! Where have you been wandering?”
How we shall kiss him! And how much there will be to tell!
“What does it matter where you have been wandering. You have been
wandering, and, you have been found, like the prodigal son.”
How happy all will be!
The old nurse will not be consoled. She wails:
“Boryushka, Boryushka, my incomparable one! I say to him:
‘Boryushka, I’m going to the poor-house!’ And he says to me:
‘No,’ says he, ‘nyanechka,[4] I’ll not let you go to
the poor-house. I,’ he says, ‘will let you stop with me,
nyanechka; only wait till I grow up,’ says he, ‘and you can
live with me.’ Oh, Boryushka, what’s this you’ve done!”
In the morning the old nurse enters the vestibule. Whose grey overcoat is it
that she sees hanging on the rack? It is Borya’s, his gymnasia
uniform. Has he then not gone to the gymnasia to-day?
She wanders into the dining-room, making a muffled noise with her soft
slippers.
“Natashenka, is Boryushka home to-day? His overcoat’s there on the
rack. Or is he sick?”
“Nyanechka!” exclaims Natasha.
And, frightened, she looks at her mother.
The old nurse has suddenly remembered. She is crying. The grey head shivers in
its black wrap. The old woman wails:
“I go there and I look, what’s that I see? Borya’s overcoat.
I say to myself, Borya’s gone to the gymnasia, why’s his
overcoat here? It’s no holiday. Oh, my Boryushka is gone!”
She wails louder and louder. Then the old woman falls to the floor and begins
to beat the boards with her head.
“Borechka, my own Borechka! If the Lord had only taken me, an old woman,
instead of him. What’s the use of life to me? I drag along, of no cheer
to myself or to any one else.”
Natasha, helpless, tries to quiet her.
“Nyanechka, dearest, rest a little.”
“May Thou rest me, O Lord! My heart told me something was wrong.
I’ve been dreaming all sorts of bad dreams. These black dreams have come
true! Oh, Borechka, my own!”
The old woman continues to beat her head and to wail. Natasha implores her
mother:
“For God’s sake, mamma, have Borya’s overcoat taken from the
rack.”
Sofia Alexandrovna looks at her with her dark, smouldering eyes and says
morosely:
“Why? It had better hang there. He might suddenly need it.”
Oh, hateful memories! As long as the evil Dragon reigns in the heavens it is
impossible to escape them.
Natasha roams restlessly, she can find no place for herself. She is off to the
woods; she recalls Boris there, and that he has been hanged. She is off to the
river; she recalls Boris there, and that he is no more. She is back at home,
and the walls of the old house recall Boris to her, and that he will not
return.
Like a pale shadow the mother wanders along the walks of the garden, choosing
to pause there where the shade is densest. The old grandmother sits upon a
bench and finishes the reading of the newspapers. It is the same every day.
And now the evening is approaching. The sun is low and red. It looks straight
into people’s eyes as though, while expiring, it were begging for mercy.
A breeze blows from the river, and it brings the laughter of white water
nymphs.
A number of noisy urchins are running in the road; their shirt-tails flap
merrily in the wind, while their sleeves are filled with wind like balloons.
The sound of a harmonica comes from the distance, and its song runs on very
merrily. The corncrake screeches in the field, and its call resembles a
general’s loud snore.
The old house once more casts and arranges its long dark shadows disturbed by
the intrusive day. Its windows blaze forth with the red fire of the evening
sun.
The gilliflower exhales its seductive aroma in some of the distant paths. The
roses seem even redder in the sunset, and more sweet. The eternal
Aphrodite—the naked marble of her proud body taking on a rose
tint—smiles again, and lets fall her draperies as fascinatingly as ever.
And everything is directed as before toward cherished, unreasonable hopes.
Enfeebled by the day’s heat, and by the sadness of the bright day, the
harassed soul has exhausted its measure of suffering, and it falls from the
iron embrace of sorrow to the beloved dark earth of the past, once more
besprinkled with dreamily refreshing dew.
And again, as at dawn, the three women in the old house await Boris, or a short
time happy in their madness.
They await him, and they chat of him, until, from behind the trees of the dark
wood, the cold moon shows her ever sad face. The dead moon is under a white
shroud of mist.
Then again they remember that Borya has been hanged, and they meet at the
green-covered pond to weep for him.
Natasha is the first to leave the house. She has on a white dress and a black
cloak. Her black hair is covered with a thin black kerchief. Her very deep dark
eyes shine with flame-like brightness. She stands, her pale face uplifted
toward the moon. She awaits the other two.
Elena Kirillovna and Sofia Alexandrovna arrive together.
Elena Kirillovna leaves the house slightly earlier, but Sofia Alexandrovna runs
after her and overtakes her almost at the pond. They wear black cloaks, black
kerchiefs on their heads, and black shoes.
Natasha begins:
“On the night before the execution he did not sleep. The moon, just as
clear as to-night’s, looked into the narrow window of his cell. On the
floor the moon sadly outlined a green rhomb, intersected lengthwise and
crosswise by narrow dark strokes. Boris walked up and down his cell, and looked
now at the moon, now at the green rhomb, and thought—I wish I knew his
thoughts that night.”
Her remark has a quite tranquil sound. It might have been about a stranger.
Sofia Alexandrovna now and again wrings her hands, and as she begins to speak
her voice is agitated and heavy with grief:
“What can one think at such moments! The moon, long dead, looks in. There
are five steps from the door to the window, four steps across. The mind springs
feverishly from object to object. That the execution is to take place on the
morrow is the one thing you try not to think of. Stubbornly you repel the
thought. But it remains, it refuses to depart, it throttles the soul with an
oppressive, horrible nightmare. The anguish is intense and enfeebling. But I do
not wish my gaolers and all these officials who are come to me to see my
anguish. I will be calm. And yet what anguish—if only, lifting up my pale
face, I could cry aloud to the pale moon!”
Elena Kirillovna whispers faintly:
“Terrible, Sonyushka.”
There are tears in her voice—simple, old-womanish, grandmotherly tears.
Sofia Alexandrovna, ignoring the interruption, continues:
“Why should I really go to my death boldly and resolutely? Is it not all
the same? I shall die in the courtyard, in the dark of night. Whether I die
boldly, or weep like a coward, or beg for mercy, or resist the
executioner—is it not all the same? No one will know how I died. I shall
face death alone. Why should I really suffer this wild anguish? I will raise up
my voice to wail and to weep, and I will shake the whole gaol with my
despairing cries, and I will awake the town, the so-called free town, which is
only a larger gaol—so that I shall not suffer alone, but that others
shall share in my last agony, in my last dread. But no, I won’t do that.
It is my fate to die alone.”
Natasha rises, trembles, presses her mother’s cold hand in hers, and
says:
“Mamma, mamma, it is terrible, if alone. No, don’t say that he felt
alone. We shall be with him.”
Elena Kirillovna whispers:
“Yes, Sonyushka, it would be terrible alone. In such moments!”
“We are with him,” insists Natasha vehemently. “We are with
him now.”
A smile is on Sofia Alexandrovna’s lips, a smile such as a dying person
smiles to greet his last consolation. Sofia Alexandrovna speaks:
“My last consolation is the thought that I am not alone. He is with me.
These walls are unrealities, this gaol built by men is a lie. What is real and
true is my suffering and I am one with them in my grief. A poor consolation!
And yet I, just think, this extraordinary I, Boris, I am dying.”
“I am dying,” repeats Natasha.
Her voice is clouded, and it is fraught with despair. And all three remain
silent for a brief while, overcome by the spell of these tragic words.
Sofia Alexandrovna speaks again. Her voice sounds tranquil, deliberate,
measured:
“There is no consolation for the dying. His grief is boundless. The cold
moon continues to torment him. A moan struggles to break from his throat, a
moan like the wild baying of a caged beast.”
Natasha speaks sadly:
“But he is not alone, not alone. We are with him in his grief.”
Her eyes, darker than a dark night, look up toward the lifeless moon, and the
green enchantress, reflected in them, torments her with a dull pain.
Sofia Alexandrovna smiles—and her smile is dead—and with the voice
of inconsolable sorrow she speaks again slowly and calmly:
“We are with him only in his despair, in his pitiful inconsolability, in
his dark solitude. But he was alone, alone, when he was strangled by the hand
of a hired hangman; strangled in that dark enclosure which it is not for us to
demolish. And the dead moon tormented him, as it torments us. She tempted him
with the mad desire to moan wildly, like a wild beast before dying. And now we,
in this hour, under this moon—are we not also tormented by the same mad
desire to run, to run far from people, and to moan and to wail, and to flee
from a grief too great to be borne!”
She rises abruptly and walks away, wringing her beautiful white hands. She
walks fast, almost runs, driven as it were by some strange, furious will not
her own. Natasha follows her with the measured yet rapid, deliberate,
mechanical gait of an automaton. And behind them trips along Elena Kirillovna,
who lets fall a few scant tears on her black cloak.
The moon follows them callously in their hurried journey across the garden,
across the field, into that wood, into that still glade, where once the
children sang their proud hymn, and where they let their mad desires be known
to one who was to betray them for a price—young blood for gold.
The grass in the fields is wet with dew. The river is white with mist. The high
moon is clear and cold. Everywhere it is quiet, as though all the earthly
rustlings and noises had lost themselves in the moon’s dead light.
And here is the glade. “Natasha, do you remember? How warmly they all
sang Arise, ye branded with a curse! Natasha, will you sing it again?
Do. Is it a torture?”
“I’ll sing,” replies Natasha quietly.
She sings in a low voice, almost to herself. The mother listens, and the
grandmother listens—but what have the birches and the grass and the clear
moon to do with human songs!
In the International
As brothers all men shall meet!
Her song is at an end. The wood is silent. The moon waits. The mist is pensive.
The birches seem to listen. The sky is clear.
Ah, for whom is all this life? Who calls? Who responds? Or is it all the play
of the dead?
Loudly wailing, the mother calls: “Borya, Borya!”
Overflowing with tears Elena Kirillovna replies: “Borya won’t come.
There is no Borya.”
Natasha stretches out her arms toward the lifeless moon, and cries out:
“Borya has been hanged!”
All three now stand side by side, looking at the moon, and weeping. Louder
grows their sobbing, fiercer the note of despair. Their moans merge finally
into a prolonged, wild wailing, which can be heard for some distance.
The dog at the forester’s hut is restless. Trembling with all his lean
body, his short hair bristling, he has pricked up his ears. Rising, he
stretches his slender limbs. His sharp muzzle, showing its teeth, is uplifted
to the tormenting moon. His eyes burn with a yearning flame. The dog bays in
answer to the distant wail of the women in the wood.
People are asleep.