Jerry Hopkins was the first of the three chums
to regain his composure and take the situation in
hand. Quietly he motioned to Ned to fall back,
and, at the same time, nodded to Bob not to approach,
as the stout youth seemed about to do.
The two soldiers had had enough experience with
Jerry’s method in an emergency to be willing to
let him manage matters now.
“What do you mean? What do you mean?”
spluttered the little man, who, from the back, had
so closely resembled Professor Snodgrass. “How
dare you insult me?”
“There seems to be some mistake,” said Jerry,
trying to keep his voice under control, for, truth
to tell, he was as indignant as his chums were at
the unwarranted assumption on the part of the
stranger.
“Mistake? I should say there had been!” was
the exclamation from the little man. “You made
a mistake in thinking I had anything to do
with that—that charlatan! That pretender! That
scientific faker, who calls himself ‘Professor’
Snodgrass. A mistake indeed!”
“Wait a minute! Wait a minute!” broke in
Ned, unable longer to hear his friend thus abused.
“The mistake will be on the other foot in a minute
if you keep on that way!” he said indignantly.
The little man seemed about to rise from the
table to attack Ned, but Jerry gently thrust back
his impetuous chum.
“Let me handle him,” he whispered to Ned.
“Is he crazy?” asked Bob.
“It begins to look that way,” answered Jerry,
as the little man resumed his seat at his table,
though he did not continue his meal.
“We wish to apologize for having mistaken
you for a friend of ours,” said Jerry suavely.
“Seeing you from the back we took you to be
Professor Snodgrass, and——”
“Is he a friend of yours?” asked the little man
fiercely.
“He certainly is!” exclaimed Bob truculently.
“Well, all I have to say is that I am sorry for
you,” said the little man. “You had no right to
assume that I was he, and your effrontery in publicly
addressing me as such needs to be apologized
for.”
“Which we are doing,” said Jerry stiffly. “And
I might add,” he went on, “that if you continue in
your present strain there will be something else to
apologize for, and not on our part, either!” He
seemed quite a different Jerry now.
“We have made proper reparation for having
mistaken you for our friend, Professor Snodgrass,”
he continued, “and that, to a gentleman,
should be sufficient. I think that is all, sir!”
Jerry turned stiffly and marched back to his own
table, followed by Ned and Bob, who had left
their seats to join him. For a few seconds the
little bald-headed man did not seem to know what
to do. He said something about its being “all
right now,” but mingled with this were grunts and
mutterings about “insolent puppies,” which words,
however, Jerry and his chums thought best to ignore.
“Say, what was eating him, anyhow?” asked
Bob, when they had resumed their seats for their
dessert which the pretty Marie was then bringing
to them.
“I guess you mean what had he been eating,”
said Ned. “Red pepper and chili con carne I imagine,
with a dish of tabasco sauce and frijoles
on the side.”
“Reminds me of our Mexico trip,” interposed
Bob. “What was the name of that Spanish fellow
who was always making so much trouble?”
“You mean Vasco Bilette,” suggested Jerry.
“That’s it! This fellow, who really looks a
lot like our dear, old professor, certainly is
touchy.”
“He certainly is,” agreed Jerry. “Say, Bob,”
he went on, “you claim you can parlez-vous better
than the rest of us. Suppose you ask Marie if
she knows this duck.”
“Sure!” assented the stout lad. “Say, chere
Marie,” he went on as the pretty little waitress
came up to their table, “comprehendez-vous him?”
and he pointed to the man who was the cause of
the Motor Boys’ discomfiture. For it had been
disquieting, to say the least, to have the eyes of
all in the restaurant turned on them during the
fracas, as Ned termed it.
“Comprehendez-vous him?” asked Bob of
Marie. “You know. La petite hommes de la
table d’hote,” and to make sure that his “French”
would be understood he pointed to the little man.
“Say, what’s that you’re getting off?” demanded
Jerry.
“I’m asking her if she’s wise to the guy who’s
eating in this restaurant,” translated Bob. “Comprehendez—that
means ‘do you know.’ La petite—that
means ‘little’ and hommes means ‘man.’”
“He’s right there,” declared Ned earnestly,
while Marie looked amusedly at “les trois mousquetaires.”
“How do you know?” snapped Jerry.
“Why, isn’t it painted all over the cars we’ve
been riding in, ‘chevaux 8—hommes 40’? That is
eight horses or forty men. Sure hommes mean
men, or man.”
“Watch Bob swell up,” commented Jerry.
“Well, you told me to spout French, and I’m
doing it,” said the lad with the perpetual appetite.
“Now give her a chance to answer. I’ll ask
her again. Chere Marie! Comprehendez-vous
la petite hommes de la table d’hote?”
The pretty waitress placed on the table the
dishes she had brought up to serve, turned for a
look over her shoulder at the man Bob referred
to, and then looked back, with a smile, at the
stout lad and his chums.
“Oui,” she answered, guessing shrewdly at
Bob’s meaning and shrugging her shoulders expressively.
“Oh, ho! So she does know him!” exclaimed
Ned, for in spite of the fact that they let Bob
assert his knowledge of French, they could not
help acquiring some of the words, and that “oui”
meant “yes” had been one of their first acquisitions.
“Who is he?” asked Jerry.
“She can’t understand that,” declared Bob.
“Wait, I’ll translate it to her.” Then, laboriously
he said: “Le nom des hommes? Comprehendez-vous?”
“What’s that?” Ned wanted to know.
“I’m asking her if she knows his name,” replied
Bob.
They looked anxiously at Marie. Again she
turned and glanced at the little man who had
waxed so indignant at being taken for Professor
Snodgrass.
“Cochon!” exclaimed Marie, and she seemed to
snap out the word as a second lieutenant issues his
commands to the awkward squad.
“What did she say?” chorused Ned and Jerry.
Bob was nonplussed. He scratched his head
and then repeated the word to Marie.
“Cochon?” he asked.
“Cochon! Cochon!” was the swift answer.
“Oui! Cochon des cochons!”
“Um!” murmured Bob.
There was a moment’s silence, during which
Marie moved off to serve another table.
“Well, what is he, a German spy?” asked Ned.
“If he is, he has his nerve with him—showing up
here after the armistice.”
“Yes, tell us what she said,” begged Jerry.
“Well,” returned Bob slowly, “you know the
French language is very queer. It isn’t like any
other language.”
“Oh, we know that all right!” exclaimed Ned.
“You needn’t tell us that. Even though you may
know a lot more about it than we do, it hasn’t
taken us six months to appreciate the fact that it’s
a mighty elusive way of conversing. But what I
want to know, and what Jerry wants to know, is:
What did Marie say that pepper-hash guy was?”
“Well,” confessed Bob, “that’s just it. If the
French language didn’t have so many words in it
that sound a lot alike, but mean a lot of different
things, I could be sure. She called him a cochon.”
“A cochon of a cochon,” added Jerry.
“Yes, that’s what she did,” said Bob.
“Well, but what is a cochon?” asked Ned.
“It’s either a pig or a coachman,” said Bob,
desperately. “That’s the trouble. I’m not sure
which. I forget whether cocher is pig or whether
it’s coachman, and I don’t know whether cochon
is coachman or pig. I know it’s one or the other,
but just now I sort of forget.”
“A heap of good your French does us!” laughed
Jerry. “If she said he was a coachman it might
mean he was a respectable, though humble, member
of society. If, on the other hand, she called
him a pig, it might mean he had something to do
with starting this war. Now which is it?”
Bob scratched his head again. Plainly, he was
“stumped.”
“I’ll ask her again when she comes back,” he
said. “I wish I had my French book here. I
sort of think that cochon means pig, and, in that
case——”
“Well, he certainly acted like a pig, so we’ll let
it go at that,” declared Jerry. “The idea of getting
on his ear just because we happened to mistake
him for Professor Snodgrass!”
“And he did look a lot like him from the back,”
declared Ned.
“Sure,” assented Bob. “I wonder where the
dear old chap is, anyhow? I wish he were going
back with us.”
“Not much chance of that,” said Jerry. “He
said he’d like to, and he really started back, but
he received word to take up some other line of
scientific investigation before he left to go back
to Boxwood Hall, and you can wager your last
cartridge that he’ll do it. But this man seems to
have some sort of grudge against him, taking us
up the way he did.”
“That’s right,” agreed Ned. “Say, Bob, you’ll
have to tackle your friend Marie again. See if
you can’t find out more about this duck.”
“I will,” promised Bob. “I’ll speak to her as
soon as she comes back. It might be, you know,
that this fellow is some relation to the Germans
the professor captured.”
“Not much chance of that,” declared Jerry.
“This cocher or cochon doesn’t seem a bit like a
Hun.”
“You never can tell,” remarked Ned. “We’d
better find out all we can about him while we have
the chance. If Professor Snodgrass is going to
remain here it would be a good thing for him to
know about this guy.”
“Here comes Marie now,” said Jerry. “Go at
her again, Bob, and see if she can’t speak English.”
“I will,” agreed the stout youth.
When Marie again approached their table, in
response to a beckoning signal, Bob began:
“Marie, de la cochon la petite cocher est
le——”
“Oh, for cats’ sake!” cried Ned, “you’ll be
worse tangled than before. Can’t you get some
American words? Here, let me——”
But at that moment there came an interruption
in the person of a member of the American military
police who, thrusting his head into the restaurant,
called:
“Anybody here that’s booked to go on the Sherman
had better hike back to the dock. She’s going
to sail soon.”
“Has the machinery been repaired?” asked
Jerry.
“Yes! She’s getting ready to sail. You fellows
going on her?”
“Yes,” answered Ned.
“Oh, you lucky dogs!” sighed the other. “Well,
get a move on. We got orders to round up everybody
that had shore leave,” and with a friendly
wave of his hand he departed.
“Come on!” cried Jerry, gathering up a few
possessions, an example followed by the others.
“I’ll pay the bill,” said Ned, taking a handful
of change out of his pocket.
“Where’s Marie?” asked Bob. “I want
to——”
“Oh, never mind finding out what cochon
means!” exclaimed Jerry. “We don’t want to be
left!”
“I want to say good-bye!” declared Bob, indignantly.
“And I was going to ask her if she could
put us up some sandwiches.”
“Cupboard love!” laughed Ned. “Come on!
Move lively!”
“The pepper-hash individual is moving, too,”
commented Jerry, as they left the restaurant, having
noted that the man who had so resented being
taken for Professor Snodgrass was also settling
his bill.
“Well, if he doesn’t run into us again I’ll be
thankful,” remarked Jerry. “He sure did make
me feel like twenty-nine cents when he turned on
me the way he did.”
Quickly the three chums made their way back
to the dock to which the Sherman had returned.
They saw others on the same errand. The repair
work had been completed sooner than was expected,
and now the siren of the vessel was blowing to
call back those who had been allowed shore leave.
Fortunately each one, when being granted permission
to “stretch his legs,” had been told to hold
himself in readiness, and none had gone far away.
The Motor Boys were soon on board again,
and after a slight delay the transport was again
moving slowly from the dock.
“Off again!” exclaimed Ned.
“Yes; and let’s hope with better luck!” added
Bob.
Jerry looked about the crowded deck. As he
did so he gave a start, and grasped the arm of
Ned.
“Look!” he exclaimed.
“What is it?” asked Ned. “See a ghost?”
“No, but if that isn’t our peppery friend of the
restaurant—le cochon—I’ll do K. P. for a week!”