The Lincoln Story Book

About this eBook

Compiler

Williams, Henry Llewellyn, 1842-

Title

The Lincoln Story Book A Judicious Collection of the Best Stories and Anecdotes of the Great President, Many Appearing Here for the First Time in Book Form

Credits

Produced by Sandra Bannatyne, Tiffany Vergon, Charles Aldarondo, Charles Franks and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team

Language

English

LoC Class

E456: History: America: Civil War period (1861-1865)

Subject

Lincoln, Abraham, 1809-1865 -- Anecdotes

Category

Text

eBook-No.

7347

Project Gutenberg

https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/7347

Release Date

January 1, 2005

Copyright

Public domain in the USA.

Contents

1. 1.Untitled
2. 2.THE LINCOLN STORY BOOK — A Judicious Collection of the Best Stories — and Anecdotes of the Great President, — Many Appearing Here for the — First Time in Book Form — COMPILED BY — HENRY L. WILLIAMS — PREFACE. — LINCOLN CALENDAR. — THE LINCOLN STORY BOOK — CHILDISH RIME. — THE LITTLE HATCHET DID IT. — THE LITTLE HATCHET AGAIN TURNS UP. — LINCOLN'S WEDDING-SONG. — "RISK THE HOGS AND I WILL RISK MYSELF!" — THE REST WAS VILE. — "NO HEAPING COALS OF FIRE ON THAT HEAD." — STUMPING THE STUMP-SPEAKER. — MAKING THE WOOL, NOT FEATHERS, FLY. — LOG-ROLLING TO SAVE LIVES. — LINCOLN'S FIRST DOLLAR. — CONVICTION THROUGH A THRASHING. — BOATING ON GROUND "A LEETLE DAMP." — THE INITIATOR INSTALLED. — THE HORRORS FOR THE THIRD TIME! — THE WHISTLE THAT STOPPED THE BOAT. — IT IS THE DEED, NOT THE DOER. — TURN OUT OR BE TURNED OUT. — THE BEST THING TO TAKE. — DRINKING AND SWALLOWING ARE TWO THINGS. — WORSTED IN A HORSE-TRADE. — HOW MANY SHORT BREATHS? — LINCOLN'S HEIGHT. — MEASURES AND MEN. — THE PRIZE FOR HOMELINESS. — HOW LONG LEGS SHOULD BE. — LONG METER. — "HARDSHIPS STRENGTHEN MUSCLES." — HE USED TO BE "GOOD ON THE CHOP." — A MAN WHO CAN SCRATCH HIS SHINS WITHOUT STOOPING. — STRUCK BY THE DEAD HAND. — THIS CLINCHES IT. — LINCOLN'S FIRST LOVE-STORY. — A PUT-UP JOB--OR CHANCE? — LINCOLN'S MARRIAGE. — THE BURLESQUE DUEL. — "WANTING TO DANCE THE WORST WAY." — "THE STATUTE FIXES ALL THAT!" — HE DID NOT KNOW HIS OWN HOUSE. — THE ONLY ONE WHO DARED "PULL WOOL OVER LINCOLN'S EYES." — THE LONG AND SHORT OF IT. — "ALL A MAN WANTS--TWENTY THOUSAND DOLLARS!" — "I'LL HIT THE THING HARD!" — THE "LEX TALIONIS" CHRISTIANIZED. — THE SLAVE-DEALER. — THE NEGRO HOME, OR AGITATION! — LINCOLN'S VOW. — "DEN I TAKES TO DE WOODS!" — THE UNPARDONABLE CRIME. — BEYOND THE BOON. — VAIN AS THE POPE'S BULL AGAINST THE COMET. — A VOLUNTEER CAPTAINCY WORTH TWO DOLLARS. — GETTING THE COMPANY COLUMN THROUGH "ENDWISE." — REGULAR AND IRREGULAR. — KNOWING WHEN TO GIVE IN. — A FRUITFUL SPEECH. — A CAPTAIN CHALLENGED BY HIS MEN. — GENERAL McCLELLAN'S OPINION OF LINCOLN AS A LAWYER. — KENTUCKIANS ARE CLANNY. — NOT TO BE THOUGHT OF! — "SKIN WRIGHT AND CLOSE!" — HOOKING HENS IS LOW! — "THE STATE AGAINST MR. WHISKY!" — AS CLEAR AS MOONSHINE. — "NICE CLOTHES MAY MAKE A HANDSOME MAN--EVEN OF YOU!" — THE ABUTMENT WAS DUBERSOME. — "GOOD ENOUGH FOR THE PRESIDENT." — LINCOLN'S FIRST POLITICAL SPEECH. — A LIGHTNING-ROD TO PROTECT A GUILTY CONSCIENCE! — FIRING ON A FLEA FOR A SQUIRREL. — THE CREAM OF THE JOKE. — PARALLEL COURSES. — JUMPING JIM CROW! — FACTS ARE STUBBORN THINGS. — THE PARTY GAD. — HARD TO BEAT! — "I RECKON I TOOK MORE THAN MY SHARE." — LINCOLN WAS LOADED FOR BEAR. — "A BOUNTEOUS PRESIDENT--IF ANYTHING IS LEFT!" — THE ART OF BEING PAID TO EAT. — A VICE NOT TO SAY "NO!" — THE BEST CAR! — SELF-MADE. — HIS HIGH MIGHTINESS. — LINCOLN'S OPINION AT THIRTY. — THE BLANK BIOGRAPHY. — "THE HOMELIEST MAN UNDER GOVERNMENT." — BETTER LOOKING THAN EXPECTED. — LINCOLN AND SUPERSTITION. — LINCOLN'S DREAM. — LINCOLN'S VISION. — "IT IS A POOR SERMON THAT DOES NOT HIT SOMEWHERE." — THE RELIGION OF FEELING. — THE TWO PRAYERS. — "WE SHALL SEE OUR FRIENDS IN HEAVEN!" — MORE PRAYING AND LESS SWEARING! — GLOVES OR NO GLOVES. — THE USE OF BOOKS. — LINCOLN'S BOOK CRITICISM. — THE HAND-TO-HAND ENCOUNTER. — BETTER SOMETIMES RIGHT THAN ALL TIMES WRONG. — MAKING THE DAGGER STAB THE HOLDER. — THE TAIL OF THE KITE. — NO DAY WITHOUT A LINE. — TRUTH AND THE PEOPLE. — "CALL ME 'LINCOLN.'" — THE ELOQUENT HAND. — WOMAN. — TO THINK AND TO DO WELL. — "SET THE TRAP AGAIN!" — "NO ROYALTY IN OUR CARRIAGE." — THE TRAP TO CATCH A DOUGLAS. — PRACTISE BEFORE AND BEHIND "THE BAR." — CONNUBIAL AMITY. — THE MODEL WHISKY-BARREL. — FIGHTING OUT OF ONE COAT INTO THE OTHER. — THE PROMISING FACE! — "A HOUSE DIVIDED CANNOT STAND." — THE CONCERT ON "DRED SCOTT." — PLAYING CUTTLEFISH. — A VOICE FROM THE DEAD. — "IF I MUST GO DOWN, LET IT BE LINKED TO TRUTH." — COME ONE, COME ALL! — ASSISTING THE INEVITABLE. — SELF-SACRIFICE. — A FIGHT PROVES NOTHING. — "WIN THE FIGHT, OR DIE A-TRYING." — PILLS TO PURGE MELANCHOLY. — "DOWN TO THE RAISINS!" — GIANT AND GIANT-KILLER. — LINCOLN'S "SENTIMENTS" ON A MOOTED POINT. — CHESTNUTS UNDER A SYCAMORE. — STILL OF LITTLE NOTE. — THE TREE-TOAD AND "TIMOTHEUS." — "IF IT WILL DO THE PRESIDENT GOOD--" — GROUNDS FOR A FINANCIAL ESTIMATE. — "I WANTED TO SEE THEM SPREAD!" — THE LINCOLN NON SEQUITUR. — WHY SO MANY COMMON PEOPLE. — ENVY OF A HUMORIST. — THE STOPPER ON JOURNALISTIC "GAS." — SALT BEFORE PEPPER. — "MATCHING" STORIES. — THE ONLY DISCREDIT. — NO RE-LIE-ANCE OF THEM! — NO VICES--FEW VIRTUES. — THE APPLES OF HIS EYE. — THE WHETSTONE STORY. — "THE MONARCH OF ALL HE SURVEYED." — MEN HAVE FAULTS LIKE HORSES. — LINCOLN'S PUNS ON PROPER NAMES. — NOT SO EASY TO GET INTO PRISON. — "THEM THREE FELLERS AGIN!" — LINCOLN THE GREAT AND LINCOLN THE LITTLE. — "GO, THOU, AND DO LIKEWISE." — "IS THE WORLD GOING TO FOLLOW THAT COMET OFF?" — A GOOD LISTENER. — CARRIED THE POST-MATTER IN HIS HAT. — PRESIDENT LINCOLN DUBBED THEM THE "WIDE-AWAKES." — TRUST TO THE OLD BLUE SOCK. — IF ALL FAILED, HE COULD GO BACK TO THE OLD TRADE! — AS A LIGHT PORTER. — WHISKERED, TO PLEASE THE LADIES AND GET VOTES. — AFTER VOTES. — THE HIGHWAYMAN'S NON SEQUITUR. — "HOW TO GET MEN TO VOTE!" — BEGINNING AT THE HEAD WITH CLOTHING. — "LUCE A JUG--THE HANDLE ALL ONE SIDE." — "SUCH A SUCKER AS ME, PRESIDENT!" — ONE HAPPY DAY. — OLD ABE WILL LOOK BETTER WHEN HIS HAIR IS COMBED. — A CURIOUS COMBINATION. — ABRAHAM LINCOLN — THE SNAKE SIMILE. — WHAT'S IN A NAME? — PAYING FOR WHISKY HE DID NOT DRINK. — "THE HIGHEST MERIT TO THE SOLDIER." — "HOW SLEEP THE BRAVE?" — THE STOKERS AS BRAVE AS ANY. — TRY AND GO AS FAR AS YOU CAN! — ARGUMENT OF "THE STUB-TAILED COW." — PEGGED OR SEWED? — SOLDIERING APART FROM POLITICS. — A TIME THAT TRIED THE SOUL. — "CABINET" TALK. — ON THE BLISTER-BENCH. — "ABE, A THUNDERING OLD GLORY!" — PERFECT RETALIATION. — LET DOWN THE BARS A LEETLE. — "THE ADMINISTRATION CAN STAND IT IF THE TIMES CAN." — BOTTLING THAT WASP. — THAT KING LOST HIS HEAD. — SWEARING LIKE A CHURCHWARDEN. — "MY SPEECHES HAVE ORIGINALITY AS THEIR MERIT." — RIGHTING WRONG HURTS, BUT DOES GOOD. — STANTON'S SERVICE WAS WORTH HIS SAUCE. — A SECRET OF THE INTERIOR. — ALL STAFF AND NO ARMY. — NO MAN IS INDISPENSABLE. — SLEEPING ON POST CANCELS A COMMISSION. — MY QUESTION! — "IF GOOD, HE'S GOT IT! IF T'AINT GOOD, HE AIN'T GOT IT!" — LINCOLN GUESSED THE FIRST TIME. — A PHANTOM CHASE. — THE WORD FLIES, BUT THE WRIT REMAINS. — THE WAR-LORD. — FILE IT AWAY! — "WHAT WE HAVE, WE WILL GIVE YOU." — MORE "SHINPLASTERS" TO HEAL THE SORE. — "THERE IS MUCH IN AN 'IF' AND A 'BUT.'" — DON'T WASTE THE PLUG, BUT USE IT! — THE RUNNING FEVER. — "ONE AND A HALF TIMES BIGGER THAN OTHER MEN!" — SO SLOW, A HEARSE RAN OVER HIM! — BLOOD-SHEDDING REMITS SINS. — HIS "LEG CASES." — HOW THE DELINQUENT SOLDIER PAID HIS DEBT. — "THE SWEARING HAD TO BE DONE THEN, OR NOT AT ALL!" — DISPLACE THE THISTLES BY FLOWERS. — "YOU HAVE ONE, AND I HAVE ONE--THAT IS RIGHT!" — "SHOOTING A MAN DOES HIM NO GOOD!" — BENEVOLENCE IS BEAUTIFUL. — "IT WAS THE BABY THAT DID IT." — "IT RESTS ME TO SAVE A LIFE!" — "A FAMILY MAN WANTS TO SEE HIS FAMILY." — A RULE WITHOUT EXCEPTION. — EVEN REBELS MIGHT BE SAVED. — WHIPPING AROUND THE STUMP. — "LIFE TOO PRECIOUS TO BE LOST." — MERCY HAS PRECEDENCE OVER THE RIGID. — TAKEN FROM REBELLION AND GIVEN TO LOYALTY. — SUSPENSION IS NOT EXECUTION. — "THE DISCONTENTED ... ABOUT FOUR HUNDRED--" — "NOT MUCH OF A HEAD, BUT HIS ONLY ONE!" — "GI'E US A GOOD CONCEIT!" — THEY WENT AWAY SICKER STILL. — OF TWENTY APPLICANTS, NINETEEN ARE MADE ENEMIES. — RID OF AN OFFICE-SEEKER. — NOT GOOD OFFICES, BUT A GOOD STORY. — ENCOURAGE LONGING FOR WORK. — "BUT AARON GOT HIS COMMISSION!" — SOMETHING LINCOLNIAN ALL COULD TAKE. — "NOT MANY SUCH BOYS OUTSIDE OF SUNDAY-SCHOOLS!" — THE GOOD BOY GETS ON. — HOW McCULLOCH WAS CONSTRAINED TO SERVE. — ALL MOUTH AND NO HANDS' CLASS. — HOT AND COLD THE SAME BREATH. — WANTED THE JAIL EARNINGS. — A TITLE NO HINDRANCE. — A TALKER WITH NOTHING TO SAY. — STICK TO YOUR BUSINESS. — MARRYING A MAN WITHOUT HIS CONSENT. — "A LUXURY TO SEE ONE WHO WANTS NOTHING." — "ACCUSE NOT A SERVANT----" — A WOLF IN A TRAP MUST SACRIFICE HIS "TAIL" TO BE FREE. — SOMEWHAT OF A NEWSMAN. — "A LITTLE MORE LIGHT AND A LITTLE LESS NOISE." — "MY PART OF THE SHIP IS ANCHORED." — ANGELS SWEARING MAKE NO DIFFERENCE. — WASHINGTON'S DIFFICULT TASK. — STEEL AND STEAL. — "THAT'S WHAT'S THE MATTER." — "THE SHIP OF STATE" SIMILE. — A PILL FOR THE PUBLIC PRINTER. — "LET THE GRASS GROW WHERE IT MAY!" — THE PEACE-AT-ANY-PRICE PARTY. — THINGS WERE TOPSY-TURVY ALOFT, TOO. — HITCHING TO THE MOON. — A RED FLAG TO HIM. — "FLY AWAY, JACK!" — HIS PEN WANTED TO KEEP THEIR HOGS SAFE. — "HURRAH FOR YOU!" — "PUT YOUR FEET RIGHT AND STAND FIRM!" — GET THEIR GRAVES READY! — MR. LINCOLN'S OPINION OF GENERAL McCLELLAN. — A "STATIONARY" ENGINE. — SHOVELING FLEAS. — THE GEORGIA COLONEL'S COSTUME. — COARSE FEED FIRST! — "AIN'T I GLAD TO GIT OUT O' DE WILDERNESS!" — WITH TWO GUNS, HOLD OFF AN ARMY. — BREAKING UP THE LITTLE GAME. — "THE BOTTOM WILL FALL OUT." — "MASTER OF THEM BOTH." — "THE SKEERED VIRGINIAN." — "HE WHO FIGHTS AND RUNS AWAY--" — NO SUNDAY FIGHTING. — LET A GOOD MAN ALONE! — THE "BLONDIN" SIMILE. — THE PIONEER'S LAND-TITLE. — "CHEERS NOT MILITARY--BUT I LIKE THEM!" — NUMBERING THE HAIRS OF HIS--TAIL! — AN UNCONVENTIONAL ORDER. — "IT OCCURS TO ME THAT I AM COMMANDER!" — COMPLIMENTS IS ALL THEY DO PAY! — BAIL THE POTOMAC WITH A SPOON. — "WE SHALL BEAT THEM, MY SON!" — "LITTLE FOR SO BIG A BUSINESS." — NOT "SHOULDER-STRAPS," BUT HARDTACK. — "MARYLAND A GOOD STATE TO MOVE FROM!" — DON'T SWAP HORSES CROSSING A STREAM. — "NO PLACING THORNS IN THE SIDE OF MY WORST ENEMY!" — THE LINCOLN PLAN OF CAMPAIGN. — THE COMMANDER SHOULD OBEY ORDERS. — THE IDLERS EQUALED THE EFFECTIVES. — REST! — "I CAN BEAR CENSURE, BUT NOT INSULT!" — A BATTLE OF ROSES. — "HELP ME LET GO!" — SPLITTING THE DIFFERENCE. — IN THE INCA'S POSITION. — "BLIND" FORTUNE. — LITTLE DAVID AND THE STONE FOR GOLIATH. — LINCOLN'S CHEESE-BOX ON A RAFT. — NO "DUTCH COURAGE." — "IF I HAD AS MUCH MONEY AND WAS AS BADLY SKEERED----" — "IT PLEASES HER, AND IT DON'T HURT ME." — "LET HIM SQUEAL IF HE WORKS." — BRIGADIERS CHEAP--CHARGERS COSTLY. — TO CURE SINGING IN THE HEAD. — BOWING TO THE BOY OF BATTLES. — WHEN WASHINGTON WAS ALL ONE TAVERN. — "BREAK THE CRITTER WHERE SLIM!" — HOW GET HIM OUT? — "A PLEASURE TO PRESIDE, AT LAST!" — ON THE LORD'S SIDE. — "TO CANAAN!" — "GOING TO CANAAN!" — THE FOX APPOINTED PAYMASTER. — RISKING THE DICTATORSHIP. — A STAGE IN THE CEASELESS MARCH ONWARD TO VICTORY. — WORKING FOR A LIVING MAKES ONE PRACTICAL. — "HOLD ON AND CHAW!" — THE GREAT NATIONAL JOB. — FOR FLAYING A MAN ALIVE. — "ONE ON 'EM NOT DEAD YET!" — THE SOUTH LIKE AN ASH-CAKE. — "I COUNT FOR SOMETHING!" — PASSES NO GOOD FOR RICHMOND. — THE MAYOR IS THE BETTER HORSE. — THE REAL THING SUPERIOR TO THE SHAM BATTLE. — THE TOOL TURNED ON THE HANDLE. — "SOONER THE FOWL BY HATCHING THE EGG THAN SMASHING IT." — TOO BUSY TO GO INTO ANOTHER BUSINESS. — THE SCALE OF REBELS. — ONE WAR AT A TIME. — "AGIN' THE GOVERNMENT." — PLOWING AROUND A LOG. — NOT THE RIGHT "CLAY" TO CEMENT A UNION. — "THE MAN DOWN SOUTH." — THE DISMEMBERED "YALLER" DOG. — THE METEOROLOGICAL OMEN. — DID SHE TAKE THE WINK TO HERSELF? — GOING DOWN WITH COLORS FLYING. — THERE MUST BE THE BELL-MULE. — "ROOT, HOG, OR DIE!" — THE GRANT BRAND OF WHISKY. — "A GENERAL, AT LAST!" — A FIZZLE ANYHOW! — "FORGET OVER A GRAVE!" — IF HE FELT THAT WAY--START! — FIGURES WILL PROVE ANYTHING. — "I DON'T WANT TO--BUT THAT'S IT IF I MUST DIE!" — BEST LET AN ELEPHANT GO! — HISTORY REPEATS. — "NOT THE PRESIDENT, BUT THE OLD FRIEND." — "CLOSE YOUR EYES!" — DON'T JUDGE BY APPEARANCES. — "NOTHING CAN TOUCH HIM FURTHER." — "WENT AND RETURNED!" — THE CLEAR FORESIGHT. — DO IT "UNBEKNOWNST." — ONE CANNOT DIE TWICE. — NO MORE INVIDIOUS NAME-CALLING. — "THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA THE TREASURY OF THE WORLD." — "HANG ON--NOT HANG!" — LINCOLN'S LAST WISH. — ASSASSINATION. — A PRESIDENT, NOT AN EMPEROR. — THE PLOT TO WAYLAY THE PRESIDENT (1860). — "I DON'T BELIEVE THERE IS ANY DANGER!" — WORRY TILL YOU GET RID OF THINGS. — THE FEARLESSNESS OF THE GOD-FEARING. — THE POISONING PLOT. — NOTHING LIKE GETTING USED TO THINGS! — MOST AFRAID OF A FRIENDLY SHOT. — THE ONE WORD HE HAD LEARNED. — NOT TO DISAPPOINT THE PEOPLE. — NOTHING LIKE PRAYER--BUT PRAISE.

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