October 1831-October 1839
Trelawny’s book was only one among many things which claimed Mrs.
Shelley’s attention during these three years.
In 1830 Godwin published his Thoughts on Man. The relative positions of
father and daughter had come to be reversed, and Mary now negotiated with
the publishers for the sale of his work, as he had formerly done for her.
Godwin himself set a high value, even for him, on this book, and
anticipated for it a future and an influence which were not to be
realised.
Godwin to Mary.
15th April 1830.
Dear Mary—If you do me the favour to see Murray, I know not how far
you can utter the following things; or if you do, how far they will
have any weight with his highness; yet I cannot but wish you should
have them in your mind.
The book I offer is a collection of ten new and interesting truths,
illustrated in no unpopular style. They are the fruit of thirty years’
meditation (it being so long since I wrote the Enquirer), in the
full maturity of my understanding.
The book, therefore, will be very far from being merely one book more
added to the number of books already existing in English literature.
It must, as I conceive, when published make a deep impression, and
cause the thinking part of the public to perceive—There are here laid
before us ten interesting truths never before delivered.
Whether it is published during my life or after my death it is a light
that cannot be extinguished—“the precious life-blood of a discerning
spirit, embalmed and treasured up on purpose to a life beyond life.”
In the following amusing letter Clare gives Mary a few commissions. She
was to interest her literary acquaintance in Paris in the publication and
success of a French poem by a friend of Clare’s at Moscow, the greatest
wish of whose heart was to appear in print. She was also to find a means
of preventing the French translatress of Moore’s Life of Byron from
introducing Clare’s name into her elucidatory footnotes. This was indeed
all-important to Clare, as any revival of scandal about her might have
robbed her of the means of subsistence, but it was also an extremely
difficult and delicate task for Mary. But no one ever hesitated to make
her of use. Her friends estimated her power by her goodwill, and her
goodwill by their own need of her services; and they were generally right,
for the will never failed, and the way was generally found.
Clare to Mrs. Shelley.
Nice, 11th December 1830.
My dear Mary—Your last letter, although so
melancholy, gave me much
pleasure, merely, therefore, because it came from you.
I intended to have written to all and each of you, but until now have
not been able to put my resolution into execution. It must seem to you
that I am strangely neglectful of my friends, or perhaps you think
since I am so near Trelawny that I have been taking a lesson from him
in the art of cultivating one’s friendships; but neither of these is
the case, my silence is quite on another principle than this.
I am not desperately in love, nor just risen from my bed at four in
the afternoon in order to write my millionth love letter, nor am I
indifferent to those whom time and the malice of fortune have yet
spared to me, but simply I have been too busy.
Since I have been at Nice I have had to change lodgings four times;
besides this, we were a long time without a maid, and received and
paid innumerable visits. My whole day was spent in shifting my
character. In the morning I arose a waiting-maid, and, having attended
to the toilette of Natalie, sank into a house-maid, a laundry-maid,
and, after noon, I fear me, a cook, having to look to the cleaning of
the rooms, the getting up of linen, and the preparation of various
pottages fit for the patient near me. At mid-day I turned into a
governess, gave my lessons, and at four or five became a fine lady for
the rest of the day, and paid visits or received them, for at Nice it
is the custom, so soon as a stranger arrives, that everybody comme il
faut in the place comes to call upon you; nor can you shut your doors
against them even if you were dying, for as Nice is the resort of the
sick, and as everybody either is sick or has been sick, nursing has
become the common business.
So we went on day after day. We had dejeuners dansants, soirées
dansantes (dîners dansants are considered as de trop by order of
the physicians), bals parés, théatres, opéras, grands dîners,
petits soupers, concerts, visites de matin, promenades à âne,
parties de campagne, réunions littéraires, grands cercles,
promenades en bateau, coteries choisies, thunder-storms from
the sea, and political storms from France; in short, if we had only
had an earthquake, or the shock of one, we should have run through the
whole series of modifications of which human existence is susceptible.
Voilà Paris, Voilà Paris, as the song says.
You may perhaps expect that the novelty of society should have
suggested to me remarks and observations as multifarious as the forms
under which I observed it. Sorry I am to say that either from its
poverty, or from my own poverty of intellect, I have not gathered from
it anything beyond the following couple of conclusions, that people of
the world, disguise themselves as they may, possess but two qualities,
a great want of understanding, and a vast pretension to sentiment.
From this duplexity arises the duplicity with which they are so often
charged, and no wonder, for with hearts so heavy, and heads so light,
how is it possible to keep anything like a straightforward course? In
alleviation of this, I must confess that wherever I went I carried
about with me my own identity (that unhappy identity which has cost me
so dear, and of which, with all my pains, I have never been able to
lose a particle), and contemplated the people I judge through the
medium of its rusty atoms.
I must speak to you of an affair that interests me deeply. M. Gambs
has informed me that he has sent to Paris a poem of his in manuscript
called Möise. He gave it to the Prince Nicolas Scherbatoff at
Moscow, just upon his setting out for Paris; this is many months ago.
Whether the Prince gave any promise to endeavour to get it published I
do not know; but if he did, he is such a very indolent and selfish man
that his efforts would never get the thing done. M. Gambs has written
to me to ask if you have any literary friends in Paris who would be
kind enough to interest themselves about it. The address of the Prince
is as follows: Son Excellence Le Prince Nicolas Scherbatoff, Rue St.
Lazare, No. 17, à Paris. Can you not get some one to call upon him to
ask about the manuscript, and to propose it to some bookseller?
This some one may enter into a direct correspondence with M. Gambs by
addressing him Chez M. Lenhold, Marchand de Musique, à Moscow. I
should be highly delighted if you could settle things in this way, as
I know my friend has nothing more at heart than to appear in print,
and that I should be glad to be the means of communicating some
pleasure to an existence which I know is almost utterly without it,
and of showing my gratitude for the kindness and goodness he has
showered upon me; nor, as far as my poor judgment goes, is the work
unworthy of inspiring interest, and of being saved from oblivion. It
pleased me much when it was read to me; but then it is true I was in a
desert, and there a drop of water will often seem to us more precious
than the finest jewel.
Another subject connected with Paris also presses itself on my mind.
In Moore’s Life of Lord Byron only the most distant allusion was
made to Lady Caroline Lamb; yet, in the French translation, its
performer, Madame Sophie Bellay (or some such name) had the indelicacy
to unveil the mystery in a note, and to expose it in distinct and
staring characters to the public. This piece of impudence was harmless
to Lady Caroline, since her independence of others was assured beyond
a doubt; but to any one whose bread depends upon the public a printed
exposure of their conduct will infallibly bring on destitution, and
reduce them to the necessity of weighing upon their relations for
support.
I know the subject is a disagreeable one, and that you do not like
disagreeable subjects. I know nothing of business or whether there
exists any means of averting this blow; perhaps a representation to
the translator of the evils that would follow would be sufficient; but
as I have no means of trying this, I am reduced to suggest the subject
to your attention, with the firm hope that you will find some method
of warding off the threatened mischief.
What you tell me of the state of family resources has naturally
depressed my spirits. Will the future never cease unrolling new shapes
of misery? Stair above stair of wretchedness is all we know; the
present, bad as it is, is always better than what comes after. Of all
the crowd of eager inquirers at the Delphic shrine was there ever
found one who thanked, or had any reason to thank, the Pythia for what
she disclosed to him? For me, I have long abandoned hope and the
future, and am now diligently pursuing and retracing the past, going
the back way as it were to eternity in order to avoid the
disappointments and perplexities of an unknown course. But I must beg
pardon for my cowardice and disagreeableness, and leave it, or else I
shall be recollected with as much reluctance as the Pythia.
I wish I could give you any idea of the beauty of Nice. So long as I
can walk about beside the sounding sea, beneath its ambient heaven,
and gaze upon the far hills enshrined in purple light, I catch such
pleasure from their loveliness that I am happy without happiness; but
when I come home, then it seems to me as if all the phantasmagoria of
hell danced before my eyes.
Mrs. K. has arrived and in no very amiable humour. The only
conversation I hear is, first, the numberless perfections of herself,
husband, and child; this, as it is true, would be well enough, but
still upon repetition it tires; second, the infinite superiority of
Russia over all other countries, since it is an established truth that
liberty and civilisation are the most dreadful of all evils. I, to
avoid ill-temper, assent to all they say; then in company, when
opposed in their doctrines, they drag me forward, and the tacit
consent I have given, as an argument in favour of their way of
thinking, and I am at once set down by everybody either as a fawning
creature or an utter fool. However, I am glad she has come, as the
responsibility of Natalie’s health was too much. For heaven’s sake
excuse me to dear Jane that I have not written. My first moment shall
be given to do so.
I think of England and my friends all day long. Entreat everybody to
write to me. Do pray do so yourself. My love to my Mother and Papa,
and William and everybody. How happy was I that Percy was well.—In
haste, ever yours,
C. Clairmont.
Mrs. Shelley’s mind was much occupied during 1831 by the serious question
of sending her son to a public school. She wished to give him the best
possible education, and she wished, too, to give it him in such a form as
would place him at no disadvantage among other young men when he took his
place in English society.
Shelley (she mentions in one of her letters) had expressed himself in
favour of a public school, but Shelley’s family had also to be consulted,
and she seems to have had reason to hope they would help in the matter.
They quite concurred in her views for Percy, only putting a veto on Eton,
where legends of his father’s school-days might still be lingering about.
Nothing was better than that she should send him to a public school—if
she could. These last words were implied, not expressed. But a public
school education in England is not to be given on a very limited income.
Funds had to be found; and Mrs. Shelley made, through the lawyer, a direct
request to Sir Timothy for assistance.
She received the following answer—
Mr. Whitton to Mrs. Shelley.
Stone Hall, 6th November 1831.
Dear Madam—I have been, from the time I received your last favour to
the present, in correspondence with Sir Timothy Shelley as to your
wishes of an advance upon the £300 per annum he now makes to you, and
I recommended him to consult his friend and solicitor, Mr. Steadman,
of Horsham, thereon, and which he did.
You have not perhaps well put together and estimated on the great
amount of the charges upon the estate by the late Mr. Shelley, and on
the legacies given by his will; but looking at all these, and the very
limited interest of the estate now vested in you, Sir Timothy has
paused in his consideration thereof, and in the result has brought his
mind, that, having regard to the other provisions he is bound to make
for his other children, he ought not to increase the allowance to you,
and upon that ground he declines so doing; and therefore feels the
necessity of your making such arrangements as you may find necessary
to make the £300 per annum answer the purposes for yourself and for
your son, and he has this morning stated to me his fixed determination
to abide thereby; and I lose not a moment, after I receive this
communication from him, to make it known to you, and I trust and hope
you will find it practicable to give him a good education out of the
£300 a year.—I remain, Madam, your very obedient servant,
Wm. Whitton.
The seeming brutality of the concluding sentence must in fairness be
ascribed to the writer and not to those he represented.
To Mrs. Shelley, knowing the impossibility of carrying out the public
school plan on her own income, the wishes and hopes must have sounded a
mockery. It had to be done, however, if it was the best thing for the boy.
The money must be earned, and she worked on.
One day she received from her father a new kind of petition, which,
showing the effect on him of advancing years, must have struck a pang to
her heart. She was accustomed to his requests for money, but now he wrote
to her for an idea.
Godwin to Mrs. Shelley.
13th April 1832.
My dear Mary—You desire me to write to you, if I have anything
particular to say.
I write, then, to say that I am still in the same dismaying
predicament in which I have been for weeks past—at a loss for
materials to make up my third volume. This is by no means what I
expected.
I knew, and I know, that incidents of hair-breadth escapes and
adventures are innumerable, and that without having fixed on any one
of them, I took for granted they would come when I called for them.
Such is the mischievous effect, the anxious expectation, that is
produced by past success.
I believe that when I came to push with all my force against the
barriers that seemed to shut me in they would give way, and place all
the treasures of invention before me.
Meanwhile, it unfortunately happens that I cannot lay my present
disappointment to the charge of advancing age.
I find all my faculties and all my strength in full bloom about me. My
disappointment has put that to a sharp trial. I thought that the
severe stretch of my faculties would cause them to yield, and subside
into feebleness and torpor. No such thing. Day after day, week after
week, I apply to this one question, without remission and with
discernment. But I cannot please myself. If I make the round of all my
thoughts, and come home empty-handed, it would seem that in the flower
and vigour of my youth I should have done the same.
Meanwhile, my situation is deplorable. I am not free to choose the
thing I would do. I have written two volumes and a quarter, and have
received five-sixths of the price of my work.
I am afraid you will think I am useless, by teasing you with
“conceptions only proper to myself.” But it is not altogether so. A
bystander may see a point of game which a player overlooks. Though I
cannot furnish myself with satisfactory incidents I have disciplined
my mind into a tone that would enable me to improve them, if offered
to me.
My mind is like a train of gunpowder, and a single spark, now happily
communicated, might set the whole in motion and activity.
Do not tease yourself about my calamity; but give it one serious
thought. Who knows what such a thought may produce?—Your affectionate
Father,
William Godwin.
In the spring of 1832 the cholera appeared in London. Clare, at a
distance, was torn to pieces between real apprehension for the safety of
her friends, and distracting fears lest the disease should select among
them for its victim some one on whose life depended the realisation of
Shelley’s will. For Percy especially she was solicitous. Mary must take
him away at once, to the seaside—anywhere: if money was an obstacle she,
Clare, was ready to help to defray the cost out of her salary.
Mrs. Shelley did leave London, although, it may safely be asserted, at no
one’s expense but her own. She stayed for a month at Southend, and
afterwards for a longer time at Sandgate.
Besides contributing tales and occasionally verses to the Keepsake, she
was employed now and during the next two or three years in preparing and
writing the Italian and Spanish Lives of Literary Men for Lardner’s
Cabinet Cyclopædia. These included, among the Italians—Petrarch,
Boccaccio, Bojardo, Macchiavelli, Metastasio, Goldoni, Alfieri, Ugo
Foscolo, etc.; among the Spanish and Portuguese—Cervantes, Lope de Vega,
Calderon, Camoens, and a host of others, besides notices of the
Troubadours, the “Romances Moriscos,” and the early poets of Portugal.
Clare, too, tried her hand at a story, to which she begged Mary to be a
kind of godmother.
I have written a tale, which I think will do for the Keepsake. I
shall send it home for your perusal. Will you correct it? Do write and
let me know where I may send it, so as to be sure to find you. Will
you be angry with me if I beg you to write the last scene of it? I am
now so unwell I can’t.
My only time for writing is after 10 at night; the rest of the tale
was composed at that hour, after having been scolding and talking and
giving lessons from 7 in the morning.
It was very near its end when I got so ill, I gave it up. If you
cannot do anything with it you can at least make curl-papers of it,
and that is always something. Do not mention it to anybody; should it
be printed one can speak of it, and if you judge it not worthy, then
it is no use mortifying my vanity.
The truth, is I should never think of writing, knowing well my
incapacity for it, but I want to gain money. What would one not do for
that, since it is the only key of freedom? One is even impudent enough
to ask a great authoress to finish one’s tale for one. I think, in
your hands, it might get into the Keepsake, for it is about a Pole,
and that is the topic of the day.
If it should get any money, half will naturally belong to you. Should
you have the kindness to arrange it, Julia would perhaps also be so
kind as to copy it out for me, that the alterations in your hand may
not be seen. I wish it to be signed “Mont Obscur.”...
Mary did what was asked of her. Trelawny, now in England again, had
influence in some literary quarters, and, at her request, willingly
consented to exert it on Clare’s behalf.
Meanwhile he requested her to receive his eldest daughter on a visit of
considerable length.
Trelawny to Mrs. Shelley.
17th July 1832.
My dear Mary—I am awaiting an occasion of sending —— to Italy, my
friend, Lady D., undertaking the charge of her.
It may be a month before she leaves England. At the end of this month
Mrs. B. leaves London, and you will do me a great service if you will
permit my daughter to reside with you till I can make the necessary
arrangements for going abroad; she has been reared in a rough school,
like her father. I wish her to live and do as you do, and that you
will not put yourself to the slightest inconvenience on her account.
As we are poor, the rich are our inheritance, and we are justified on
all and every occasion to rob and use them.
But we must be honest and just amongst ourselves, therefore —— must
to the last fraction pay her own expenses, and neither put you to
expense nor inconvenience. For the rest, I should like —— to learn
to lean upon herself alone—to see the practical part of life: to
learn housekeeping on trifling means, and to benefit by her
intercourse with a woman like you; but I am ill at compliments.
If you will permit —— to come to you, I will send or bring her to
you about the 25th of this month. I should like you and —— to know
each other before she leaves England, and thus I have selected you to
take charge of her in preference to any other person; but say if it
chimes in with your wishes.
Adieu, dear Mary.—Your attached friend,
Edward Trelawny.
By the bye, tell me where the Sandgate coach starts from, its time of
leaving London, and its time of arrival at Sandgate, and where you
are, and if they will give you another bedroom in the house you are
lodging in; and if you have any intention of leaving Sandgate soon.
Trelawny to Mrs. Shelley.
27th July 1832.
My dear Mary—You told me in your letter that it would be more
convenient for you to receive —— on the last of the month, so I made
my arrangements accordingly. I now find it will suit me better to come
to you on Wednesday, so that you may expect —— on the evening of
that day by the coach you mention. I shall of course put up at the
inn.
As to your style of lodging or living, —— is not such a fool as to
let that have any weight with her; if you were in a cobbler’s stall
she would be satisfied; and as to the dulness of the place, why, that
must mainly depend on ourselves. Brompton is not so very gay, and the
reason of my removing —— to Italy is that Mrs. B. was about sending
her to reside with strangers at Lincoln; besides —— is acting
entirely by her own free choice, and she gladly preferred Sandgate to
Lincoln. At all events, come we shall; and if you, by barricading or
otherwise, oppose our entrance, why I shall do to you, not as I would
have others do unto me, but as I do unto others,—make an onslaught on
your dwelling, carry your tenement by assault, and give the place up
to plunder.
So on Wednesday evening (at 5, by your account) you must be prepared
to quietly yield up possession or take the consequences. So as you
shall deport yourself, you will find me your friend or foe,
Trelawny.
Mary’s guest stayed with her over a month. During this time she was
saddened by the sudden death of her friendly acquaintance, Lord Dillon.
She was anxious, too, about her father, whose equable spirits had failed
him this year. No assistance seemed to avail much to ease his
circumstances; he was not far from his eightieth year, and still his hopes
were anchored in a yet-to-be-written novel.
“I feel myself able and willing to do everything, and to do it well,”
so he wrote, “and nobody disposed to give me the requisite
encouragement. If I can agree with these tyrants” (his publishers)
“for £300, £400, or £500 for a novel, and to be subsisted by them
while I write it, I probably shall not starve for a twelvemonth to
come ... but this dancing attendance wears my spirits and destroys my
tranquillity. ‘Hands have I, but I handle not; I have feet, but I walk
not; neither is there any breath in my nostrils.’
“Meanwhile my life wears away, and ‘there is no work, nor device, nor
knowledge, nor wisdom in the grave whither I go.’ But, indeed, I am
wrong in talking of that, for I write now, not for marble to be placed
over my remains, but for bread to put into my mouth.”
Mary tried in the summer to tempt him down to Sandgate for a change. But
the weather was very cold, and he declined.
28th August 1832.
Dear Mary—
See, Winter comes, to rule the varied year,
Sullen and sad, with all his rising train—
Vapours, and clouds, and storms.
I am shivering over a little fire at the bottom of my grate, and have
small inclination to tempt the sea-breezes and the waves; we must
therefore defer our meeting till it comes within the walls of London.
········
Au revoir! To what am I reserved? I know not.
The wide (no not) the unbounded prospect lies before me,
But shadows, clouds, and darkness rest upon it.
A new shadow was now to fall upon the poor old man, in the death from
cholera of his only son, Mary’s half-brother, William. This son in his
early youth had given some trouble and caused some anxiety, but his
character, as he grew up, had become steadier and more settled. He was
happily married, and seemed likely to be a source of real comfort and
satisfaction to his parents in their old age. By profession he was a
reporter, but he had his hereditary share of literary ability and of
talent “turned for the relation of fictitious adventures,” and left in MS.
a novel called Transfusion, published by his father after his death,
with the motto—
Some noble spirits, judging by themselves,
May yet conjecture what I might have been.
Although inevitably somewhat hardened against misfortune of the heart by
his self-centred habits of mind and anxiety about money, Godwin was much
saddened by this loss, and to Mrs. Godwin it was a very great and bitter
grief indeed.
Clare saw at once in this the beginning of fresh troubles; the realisation
of all the gloomy forebodings in which she had indulged. She wrote to Jane
Hogg—
That nasty year, 1832, could not go over without imitating in some
respects 1822, and bringing death and misfortune to us. From the time
it came in till it went out I trembled, expecting at every moment to
hear the most gloomy tidings.
William’s death came, and fulfilled my anticipations; misfortune as it
was, it was not such a heavy one to me as the loss of others might
have been. I, however, was fond of him, because I did not view his
faults in that desponding light which his other relations did. I have
seen more of the world, and, comparing him with other young men, his
frugality, his industry, his attachment to his wife, and his talents,
raised him, in my opinion, considerably above the common par.
But in our family, if you cannot write an epic poem or novel that by
its originality knocks all other novels on the head, you are a
despicable creature, not worth acknowledging. What would they have
done or said had their children been fond of dress, fond of cards,
drunken, profligate, as most people’s children are?
To Mary she wrote in a somewhat different tone, assuming that she, Clare,
was the victim on whom all misfortune really fell, and wondering at Mary’s
incredible temerity in allowing her boy, that all-important heir-apparent,
to face the perils of a public school.
And then, losing sight for a moment of her own feverish anxiety, she
gives a vivid sketch of Mrs. Mason’s family.
Miss Clairmont to Mrs. Shelley.
Pisa, 26th October 1832.
My dear Mary—Though your last letter was on so melancholy a subject,
yet I am so destitute of all happiness that to receive it was one to
me.
I have not yet got over the shock of William’s death; from the moment
I heard of it until now I have been in a complete state of
annihilation. How long it will last I am sure I cannot tell; I hope
not much longer, or perhaps I shall go mad.
A horrible and most inevitable future is the image that torments me,
just as it did ten years ago, in this very city. But I won’t torment
you, who have a thousand enjoyments that veil it from you, and need
not feel the blow till it comes. Our fates were always different; mine
is to feel the shadow of coming misfortunes, and to sicken beneath it.
There seems to have been great imprudence on William’s part: my Mother
says he went to Bartholomew Fair the day before he was taken ill; then
he did not have medical assistance so soon as ill, which they say is
of the highest importance in the cholera, so altogether I suppose his
life was thrown away—a most lucky circumstance for himself, but God
knows what it will be for the Godwins.
His death changed my plans. I had settled to go to Vienna, but as the
cholera is still there, I no longer considered myself free to offer
another of my Mother’s children to be its victim. Mrs. Mason
represented the imprudence of it, considering my weak health, the
depressed state of my spirits for the last twelve years, the fatigue
of the long journey, and the chilliness of the season of the year,
which are all things that predispose excessively to the disease, and I
yielded out of regard to my Mother. I thought she would prefer
anything to my dying, or else at Vienna, Charles tells me, I could
earn more than I am likely to earn here. For the same reason Paris
was abandoned. I beg you will tell her this, and hope she will think I
have done well.
In the meantime I stay with Mrs. Mason, and have got an engagement as
day governess with an English family, which will supply me with money
for my own expenses, but nothing more. In the spring they wish to take
me entirely, but the pay is not brilliant. When I know more about them
I will tell you. Nothing can equal Mrs. Mason’s kindness to me. Hers
is the only house, except my Mother’s, in which all my life I have
always felt at home. With her, I am as her child; from the merest
trifle to the greatest object, she treats me as if her happiness
depended on mine. Then she understands me so completely. I have no
need to disguise my sentiments; to barricade myself up in silence, as
I do almost with everybody, for fear they should see what passes in my
mind, and hate me for it, because it does not resemble what passes in
theirs. This ought to be a great happiness to me, and would, did not
her unhappiness and her precarious state of health darken it with the
torture of fear. It is too bitter, after a long life passed in
unbroken misery, to find a good only that you may lose it.
Laurette’s marriage is to take place at the end of November. Mrs.
Mason having tried every means to hinder it, and seeing that she
cannot, is now impatient it should be over. Their present state is too
painful. She cannot disguise her dislike of Galloni; he having nearly
killed her with his scenes, and Laurette cannot sympathise with her;
being on the point of marrying him, and feeling grateful for his
excessive attachment, she wishes to think as well of him as she can.
It is the first time the mother and daughter have ever divided in
opinion, and galls both in a way that seems unreasonable to those who
live in the world, and are accustomed to meet rebuffs in their dearest
feelings at every moment. But our friends live in solitude, and have
nursed themselves into a height of romance about everything. They both
think their destinies annihilated, because the union of their minds
has suffered this interruption. However, no violence mingles with
this sentiment and excites displeasure; on the contrary, I wish it
did, for it would be easier to heal than the tragic immutable sorrow
with which they take it.
While these two dissolve in quiet grief, Nerina, the Italian, agitates
herself on the question; she forgets all her own love affairs, and all
the sabre slashes and dagger stabs of her own poor heart, to fall into
fainting fits and convulsions every time she sees Laurette and her
mother fix their eyes mournfully upon each other; then she talks and
writes upon the subject incessantly, even till 3 o’clock in the
morning. She has a band of young friends of both sexes, and with them,
either by word of mouth or by letter, she sfogares herself of her
hatred of Galloni, of the unparalleled cruelty of Laurette’s fate, and
of the terrific grave that is yawning for her mother; her mind is
discursive, and she introduces into her lamentations observations upon
the faulty manner in which she and her sister have been educated,
strictures upon the nature of love, objurgations against the whole
race of man, and eloquent appeals to the female sex to prefer
patriotism to matrimony.
All the life that is left in the house is now concentrated in Nerina,
and I am sure she cannot complain of a dearth of sensations, for she
takes good care to feel with everything around her, for if the chair
does but knock the table, she shudders and quakes for both, and runs
into her own study to write it down in her journal. Into this small
study she always hurries me, and pours out her soul, and I am well
pleased to listen, for she is full of genius; when the tide has flowed
so long, it has spent itself, we generally pause, and then begin to
laugh at the ridiculous figures human beings cut in struggling all
their might and main against a destiny which forces millions and
millions of enormous planets on their way, and against which all
struggling is useless.
8th November.
My letter has been lying by all this time, I not having time to write.
I am afraid this winter I shall scarcely be able to keep up a
correspondence at all. I must be out at 9 in the morning, and am not
home before 10 at night. I inhabit at Mrs. Mason’s a room without a
fire, so that when I get home there is no sitting in it without
perishing with cold. I cannot sit with the Masons, because they have a
set of young men every night to see them, and I do not wish to make
their acquaintance. I walk straight into my own room on my return.
Writing either letters or articles will be a matter of great
difficulty. The season is very cold here. My health always diminishes
in proportion to the cold.
I am very glad to hear that Percy likes Harrow, but I shudder from
head to foot when I think of your boldness in sending him there. I
think in certain things you are the most daring woman I ever knew.
There are few mothers who, having suffered the misfortunes you have,
and having such advantages depending upon the life of an only son,
would venture to expose that life to the dangers of a public school.
As for me, it is not for nothing that my fate has been taken out of my
own hands and put into those of people who have wantonly torn it into
miserable shreds and remnants; having once endured to have my whole
happiness sacrificed to the gratification of some of their foolish
whims, why I can endure it again, and so my mind is made up and my
resolution taken. I confess, I could wish there were another world in
which people were to answer for what they do in this! I wish this,
because without it I am afraid it will become a law that those who
inflict must always go on inflicting, and those who have once suffered
must always go on suffering.
I hope nothing will happen to Percy; but the year, the school itself
that you have chosen, and the ashes[13] that lie near it, and the
hauntings of my own mind, all seem to announce the approach of that
consummation which I dread.
I am very glad you are delighted with Trelawny. My affections are
entirely without jealousy; the more those I love love others, and are
loved by them, the better pleased am I. I am in a vile humour for
writing a letter; you would not wonder at it if you knew how I am
plagued. I can say from experience that the wonderful variety there is
of miseries in this world is truly astonishing; if some Linnæus would
class them as he did flowers, the number of their kinds would far
surpass the boasted infinitude of the vegetable creation. Not a day
nor hour passes but introduces me to some new pain, and each one
contains within itself swarms of smaller ones—animalculæ pains which
float up and down in it, and compose its existence and their own. What
Mademoiselle de L’Espinasse was for love, I am for pain,—all my
letters are on the same subject, and yet I hope I do not repeat
myself, for truly, with such diversity of experience, I ought not.
Our friends here send their best love to you, and are interested in
your perilous destiny. I have just received a letter from my Mother,
and in obedience to her representations draw my breath as peacefully
as I can till the month of January. Will you explain to me one phrase
of her letter? Talking of the chances of their getting money, she
says: “Then Miss Northcote is not expected to live over the winter,”
and not a word beside. Who in the world is Miss Northcote? and what
influence can her death have in bettering their prospects?
Notwithstanding my writing such a beastly letter as this to you, pray
do write. I work myself into the most dreadful state of irritation
when I am long without letters from some of you. Tell Jane I entreat
her to write, and tell my Mother that the bill of lading of the parcel
for me is come, but Mrs. Mason sent it off to Leghorn without my
seeing it, and was too ill herself to look at the date, so I know not
when it was shipped, but as Mr. Routh has the bill, I suppose I shall
hear when it has arrived and performed quarantine.
Thank Trelawny for me for his kindness about the article. Pisa is very
dull yet. I am told there are seven or eight English families arrived,
but I have not seen them.
Farewell, my dear Mary. Be well and happy, and excuse my
dulness.—Yours ever affectionately,
C. Clairmont.
One term’s experience was enough to convince Mrs. Shelley that she could
only afford to continue her son’s school education by leaving London
herself and settling with him at Harrow for some years.
In January 1833 she wrote an account of her affairs to her old friend,
Mrs. Gisborne—
Never was poor body so worried as I have been ever since I last wrote,
I think; worries which plague and press on one, and keep one fretting.
Money, of course, is the Alpha and Omega of my tale. Harrow proves so
fearfully expensive that I have been sadly put to it to pay Percy’s
bill for one quarter (£60, soltanto), and, to achieve it, am
hampered for the whole year. My only resource is to live at Harrow,
for in every other respect I like the school, and would not take him
from it. He will become a home boarder, and school expenses will be
very light. I shall take a house, being promised many facilities for
furnishing it by a kind friend.
To go and live at pretty Harrow, with my boy, who improves each day
and is everything I could wish, is no bad prospect, but I have much to
go through, and am so poor that I can hardly turn myself. It is hard
on my poor dear Father, and I sometimes think it hard on myself to
leave a knot of acquaintances I like; but that is a fiction, for half
the times I am asked out I cannot go because of the expense, and I am
suffering now for the times when I do go, and so incur debt.
No, Maria mine, God never intended me to do other than struggle
through life, supported by such blessings as make existence more than
tolerable, and yet surrounded by such difficulties as make fortitude a
necessary virtue, and destroy all idea of great and good luck. I might
have been much worse off, and I repeat this to myself ten thousand
times a day to console myself for not being better.
My Father’s novel is printed, and, I suppose, will come out soon. Poor
dear fellow! It is hard work for him.
I am in all the tremor of fearing what I shall get for my novel, which
is nearly finished. His and my comfort depend on it. I do not know
whether you will like it. I cannot guess whether it will succeed.
There is no writhing interest; nothing wonderful nor tragic—will it
be dull? Chi lo sa? We shall see. I shall, of course, be very glad
if it succeeds.
Percy went back to Harrow to-day. He likes his school much. Have I any
other news for you? Trelawny is gone to America; he is about to cross
to Charlestown directly there is a prospect of war—war in America. I
am truly sorry. Brothers should not fight for the different and
various portions of their inheritance. What is the use of republican
principles and liberty if peace is not the offspring? War is the
companion and friend of monarchy; if it be the same of freedom, the
gain is not much to mankind between a sovereign and president.
········
Not long after taking up her residence at Harrow, which she did in April
1833, Mrs. Shelley was attacked by influenza, then prevailing in a
virulent form. She did not wholly recover from its effects till after the
Midsummer holidays, which she spent at Putney for change of air. She found
the solitude of her new abode very trying. Her boy had, of course, his
school pursuits and interests to occupy him, and, though her literary work
served while it lasted to ward off depression, the constant mental strain
was attended with an inevitable degree of reaction for which a little
genial and sympathetic human intercourse would have been the best—indeed,
the only—cure.
As for her father, now she had gone he missed her sadly.
Godwin to Mrs. Shelley.
July 1833.
Dear Mary—I shall certainly not come to you on Monday. It would do
neither of us good. I am a good deal of a spoiled child. And were I
not so, and could rouse myself, like Diogenes, to be independent of
all outward comforts, you would treat me as if I could not, so that it
would come to the same thing.
What a while it is since I saw you! The last time was the 10th of
May,—towards two months,—we who used to see each other two or three
times a week! But for the scale of miles at the bottom of the map, you
might as well be at Timbuctoo or in the deserts of Arabia.
Oh, this vile Harrow! Your illness, for its commencement or duration,
is owing to that place. At one time I was seriously alarmed for you.
And now that I hope you are better, with what tenaciousness does it
cling to you! If I ever see you again I wonder whether I shall know
you. I am much tormented by my place, by my book, and hardly suppose I
shall ever be tranquil again.
I am disposed to adopt the song of Simeon, and to say, “Lord, now
lettest thou thy servant depart in peace!” At seventy years of age,
what is there worth living for? I have enjoyed existence, been active,
strenuous, proud, but my eyes are dim, and my energies forsake
me.—Your affectionate Father,
William Godwin.
The next letter is addressed to Trelawny, now in America,
Mrs. Shelley to Trelawny.
Harrow, 7th May 1834.
Dear Trelawny—I confess I have been sadly remiss in not writing to
you. I have written once, however, as you have written once (but
once) to me. I wrote in answer to your letter. I am sorry you did not
get it, as it contained a great deal of gossip. It was misdirected by
a mistake of Jane’s.... It was sent at the end of last September to
New York. I told you in it of the infidelity of several of your
womankind,—how Mrs. R. S. was flirting with Bulwer, to the infinite
jealousy of Mrs. Bulwer, and making themselves the talk of the
town.... Such and much tittle-tattle was in that letter, all old news
now.... The S.’s (Captain Robert and wife, I mean) went to Paris and
were ruined, and are returned under a cloud to rusticate in the
country in England.
Bulwer is making the amiable to his own wife, who is worth in beauty
all the Mrs. R. S.’s in the world....
Jane has been a good deal indisposed, and has grown very thin. Jeff
had an appointment which took him away for several months, and she
pined and grew ill on his absence; she is now reviving under the
beneficent influence of his presence.
I called on your mother a week or two ago; she always asks after you
with empressement, and is very civil indeed to me. She was looking
well, but —— tells me, in her note enclosing your letter, that she
is ill of the same illness as she had two years ago, but not so bad. I
think she lives too well.
—— is expecting to be confined in a very few weeks, or even days.
She is very happy with B.... He is a thoroughly good-natured and
estimable man; it is a pity he is not younger and handsomer; however,
she is a good girl, and contented with her lot; we are very good
friends.... I should like much to see your friend, Lady Dorothea, but,
though in Europe, I am very far from her. I live on my hill,
descending to town now and then. I should go oftener if I were richer.
Percy continues quite well, and enjoys my living at Harrow, which is
more than I do, I am sorry to say, but there is no help.
My Father is in good health. Mrs. Godwin has been very ill lately, but
is now better.
I thought Fanny Kemble was to marry and settle in America: what a
singular likeness you have discovered! I never saw her, except on the
stage.
So much for news. They say it is a long lane that has no turning. I
have travelled the same road for nearly twelve years; adversity,
poverty, and loneliness being my companions. I suppose it will change
at last, but I have nothing to tell of myself except that Percy is
well, which is the beginning and end of my existence.
I am glad you are beginning to respect women’s feelings.... You have
heard of Sir H.’s death. Mrs. B. (who is great friends with S., now
Sir William, an M.P.) says that it is believed that he has left all he
could to the Catholic members of his family. Why not come over and
marry Letitia, who in consequence will be rich? and, I daresay, still
beautiful in your eyes, though thirty-four.
We have had a mild, fine winter, and the weather now is as warm,
sunny, and cheering as an Italian May. We have thousands of birds and
flowers innumerable, and the trees of spring in the fields.
Jane’s children are well. The time will come, I suppose, when we may
meet again more (richly) provided by fortune, but youth will have
flown, and that in a woman is something....
I have always felt certain that I should never again change my name,
and that is a comfort, it is a pretty and a dear one. Adieu, write to
me often, and I will behave better, and as soon as I have accumulated
a little news, write again.—Ever yours,
M. W. S.
Mrs. Shelley to Mrs. Gisborne.
17th July 1834.
I am satisfied with my plan as regards him (Percy). I like the school,
and the affection thus cultivated for me will, I trust, be the
blessing of my life.
Still there are many drawbacks; this is a dull, inhospitable place. I
came counting on the kindness of a friend who lived here, but she
died of the influenza, and I live in a silence and loneliness not
possible anywhere except in England, where people are so islanded
individually in habits; I often languish for sympathy, and pine for
social festivity.
Percy is much, but I think of you and Henry, and shrink from binding
up my life in a child who may hereafter divide his fate from mine. But
I have no resource; everything earthly fails me but him; except on his
account I live but to suffer. Those I loved are false or dead; those I
love, absent and suffering; and I, absent and poor, can be of no use
to them. Of course, in this picture, I subtract the enjoyment of good
health and usually good spirits,—these are blessings; but when driven
to think, I feel so desolate, so unprotected, so oppressed and
injured, that my heart is ready to break with despair. I came here, as
I said, in April 1833, and 9th June was attacked by the influenza, so
as to be confined to my bed; nor did I recover the effects for several
months.
In September, during Percy’s holidays, I went to Putney, and recovered
youth and health; Julia Robinson was with me, and we spent days in
Richmond Park and on Putney Heath, often walking twelve or fourteen
miles, which I did without any sense of fatigue. I sorely regretted
returning here. I am too poor to furnish. I have lodgings in the
town,—disagreeable ones,—yet often, in spite of care and sorrow, I
feel wholly compensated by my boy.... God help me if anything was to
happen to him—I should not survive it a week. Besides his society I
have also a good deal of occupation.
I have finished a novel, which, if you meet with, read, as I think
there are parts which will please you. I am engaged writing the lives
of some of the Italian literati for Dr. Lardner’s Cyclopædia. I
have written those of Petrarch, Boccaccio, etc., and am now engaged on
Macchiavelli; this takes up my time, and is a source of interest and
pleasure.
My Father, I suppose you know, has a tiny, shabby place under
Government. The retrenchments of Parliament endanger and render us
anxious. He is quite well, but old age takes from his enjoyments. Mrs.
Godwin, after influenza, has been suffering from the tic-doloreux in
her arm most dreadfully; they are trying all sorts of poisons on her
with little effect. Their discomfort and low spirits will force me to
spend Percy’s holidays in town, to be near them. Jane and Jeff are
well; he was sent last autumn and winter by Lord Brougham as one of
the Corporation Commissioners; he was away for months, and Jane took
the opportunity to fall desperately in love with him—she pined and
grew ill, and wasted away for him. The children are quite well. Dina
spent a week here lately; she is a sweet girl. Edward improves daily
under the excellent care taken of his education. I leave Jane to
inform you of their progress in Greek. Dina plays wonderfully well,
and has shown great taste for drawing, but this last is not
cultivated.
I did not go to the Abbey, nor the Opera, nor hear Grisi; I am shut
out from all things—like you—by poverty and loneliness. Percy’s
pleasures are not mine; I have no other companion.
What effect Paganini would have had on you, I cannot tell; he threw me
into hysterics. I delight in him more than I can express. His wild,
ethereal figure, rapt look, and the sounds he draws from his violin
are all superhuman—of human expression. It is interesting to see the
astonishment and admiration of Spagnoletti and Nervi as they watch his
evolutions.
Bulwer is a man of extraordinary and delightful talent. He went to
Italy and Sicily last winter, and, I hear, disliked the inhabitants.
Yet, notwithstanding, I am sure he will spread inexpressible and
graceful interest over the Last Days of Pompeii, the subject of his
new novel. Trelawny is in America, and not likely to return. Hunt
lives at Chelsea, and thrives, I hear, by his London pursuit. I have
not seen him for more than a year, for reasons I will not here
detail—they concern his family, not him.
Clare is in a situation in Pisa, near Mrs. Mason. Laurette and Nerina
are married; the elder badly, to one who won her at the dagger’s
point—a sad unintelligible story; Nerina, to the best and most
delightful Pistoiese, by name Bartolomeo Cini—both to Italians.
Laurette lives at Genoa, Nerina at Livorno; the latter is only newly a
bride, and happier than words can express. My Italian maid, Maria,
says to Clare, Non vedrò ora mai la mia Padrona ed il mio Bimbo? her
Bimbo—as tall as I am and large in proportion—has good health
withal....
Pray write one word of information concerning your health before I
attribute your silence to forgetfulness; but you must not trifle now
with the anxiety you have awakened. I will write again soon. With
kindest regards to your poor, good husband, the fondest hopes that
your health is improved, and anxious expectation of a letter, believe
me, ever affectionately yours,
M. W. Shelley.
Mrs. Shelley To Mrs. Gisborne.
Harrow, 30th October 1834.
My dearest Maria—Thank you many times for your kind dear letter. God
grant that your constitution may yet bear up a long time, and that you
may continue impressed with the idea of your happiness. To be loved is
indeed necessary. Sympathy and companionship are the only sweets to
make the nauseous draught of life go down; and I, who feel this, live
in a solitude such as, since the days of hermits in the desert, no one
was ever before condemned to! I see no one, speak to no one—except
perhaps for a chance half-hour in the course of a fortnight. I never
walk beyond my garden, because I cannot walk alone. You will say I
ought to force myself; so I thought once, and tried, but it would not
do. The sense of desolation was too oppressive. I only find relief
from the sadness of my position by living a dreamy existence from
which realities are excluded; but going out disturbed this; I wept; my
heart beat with a sense of injury and wrong; I was better shut up.
Poverty prevents me from visiting town; I am too far for visitors to
reach me; I must bear to the end. Twelve years have I spent, the
currents of life benumbed by poverty; life and hope are over for me,
but I think of Percy!
Yet for the present something more is needed—something not so
unnatural as my present life. Not that I often feel ennui—I am
too much employed—but it hurts me, it destroys the spring of my mind,
and makes me at once over-sensitive with my fellow-creatures, and yet
their victim and their dupe. It takes all strength from my character,
and makes me—who by nature am too much so—timid. I used to have one
resource, a belief in my good fortune; this is exchanged after
twelve years—one adversity, blotted and sprinkled with many
adversities; a dark ground, with sad figures painted on it—to a
belief in my ill fortune.
Percy is spared to me, because I am to live. He is a blessing; my
heart acknowledges that perhaps he is as great an one as any human
being possesses; and indeed, my dear friend, while I suffer, I do not
repine while he remains. He is not all you say; he has no ambition,
and his talents are not so transcendent as you appear to imagine; but
he is a fine, spirited, clever boy, and I think promises good things;
if hereafter I have reason to be proud of him, these melancholy days
and weeks at Harrow will brighten in my imagination—and they are not
melancholy. I am seldom so, but they are not right, and it will be a
good thing if they terminate happily soon.
At the same time, I cannot in the least regret having come here: it
was the only way I had of educating Percy at a public school, of which
institution, at least here at Harrow, the more I see the more I like;
besides that, it was Shelley’s wish that his son should be brought up
at one. It is, indeed, peculiarly suited to Percy; and whatever he may
be, he will be twice as much as if he had been brought up in the
narrow confinement of a private school.
The boys here have liberty to the verge of licence; yet of the latter,
save the breaking of a few windows now and then, there is none. His
life is not quite what it would be if he did not live with me, but
the greater scope given to the cultivation of the affections is surely
an advantage.
········
You heard of the dreadful fire at the Houses of Parliament. We saw it
here from the commencement, raging like a volcano; it was dreadful to
see, but, fortunately, I was not aware of the site. Papa lives close
to the Speaker’s, so you may imagine my alarm when the news reached
me, fortunately without foundation, as the fire did not gain that part
of the Speaker’s house near them, so they were not even
inconvenienced. The poor dear Speaker has lost dreadfully; what was
not burnt is broken, soaked, and drenched—all their pretty things;
and imagine the furniture and princely chambers—the house was a
palace. For the sake of convenience to the Commons, they are to take
up their abode in the ruins. With kindest wishes for you and S. G.,
ever dearest friend, your affectionate
Mary W. Shelley.
The Same to the Same.
February 1835.
... I must tell you that I have had the offer of £600 for an edition
of Shelley’s works, with Life and Notes. I am afraid it cannot be
arranged, yet at least, and the Life is out of the question; but in
talking over it the question of letters comes up. You know how I
shrink from all private detail for the public; but Shelley’s letters
are beautifully written, and everything private might be omitted.
Would you allow the publisher to treat with you for their being added
to my edition? If I could arrange all as I wish, they might be an
acquisition to the books, and being transacted through me, you could
not see any inconvenience in receiving the price they would be worth
to the bookseller. This is all in aria as yet, but I should like to
know what you think about it. I write all this, yet am very anxious to
hear from you; never mind postage, but do write.
Percy is reading the Antigone; he has begun mathematics. Mrs.
Cleveland[14] and Jane dined with me the other day. Mrs. Cleveland
thought Percy wonderfully improved.
The volume of Lardner’s Cyclopædia, with my Lives, was published
on the first of this month; it is called Lives of Eminent Literary
Men, vol. i. The lives of Dante and Ariosto are by Mr. Montgomery,
the rest are mine.
Do write, my dearest Maria, and believe me ever and ever,
affectionately yours,
M. W. Shelley.
Lodore, Mrs. Shelley’s fifth novel, came out in 1835. It differs from
the others in being a novel of society, and has been stigmatised, rather
unjustly, as weak and colourless, although at the time of its publication
it had a great success. It is written in a style which is now out of date,
and undoubtedly fails to fulfil the promise of power held out by
Frankenstein and to some extent by Valperga, but it bears on every
page the impress of the refinement and sensibility of the author, and has,
moreover, a special interest of its own, due to the fact that some of the
incidents are taken from actual occurrences in her early life, and some of
the characters sketched from people she had known.
Thus, in the description of Clorinda, it is impossible not to recognise
Emilia Viviani. The whole episode of Edward Villier’s arrest and
imprisonment for debt, and his young wife’s anxieties, is an echo of her
own experience at the time when Shelley was hiding from the bailiffs and
meeting her by stealth in St. Paul’s or Holborn. Lodore himself has some
affinity to Byron, and possibly the account of his separation from his
wife and of their daughter’s girlhood is a fanciful train of thought
suggested by Byron’s domestic history. Most of Mary’s novels present the
contrast of the Shelleyan and Byronic types. In this instance the latter
was recognised by Clare, and drew from her one of those bitter tirades
against Byron, which, natural enough in her at the outset, became in the
course of years quite morbidly venomous. Not content with laying Allegra’s
death to his charge, she, in her later letters, accuses him of
treacherously plotting and conspiring, out of hatred to herself, to do
away with the child, an allegation unjust and false. In the present
instance, however, she only entered an excited protest against his
continual reappearance as the hero of a novel.
Mrs. Hare admired Lodore amazingly; so do I, or should I, if it were
not for that modification of the beastly character of Lord Byron of
which you have composed Lodore. I stick to Frankenstein, merely
because that vile spirit does not haunt its pages as it does in all
your other novels, now as Castruccio, now as Raymond,[15] now as
Lodore. Good God! to think a person of your genius, whose moral tact
ought to be proportionately exalted, should think it a task befitting
its powers to gild and embellish and pass off as beautiful what was
the merest compound of vanity, folly, and every miserable weakness
that ever met together in one human being! As I do not want to be
severe on the poor man, because he is dead and cannot defend himself,
I have only taken the lighter defects of his character, or else I
might say that never was a nature more profoundly corrupted than his
became, or was more radically vulgar than his was from the very
outset. Never was there an individual less adapted, except perhaps
Alcibiades, for being held up as anything but an object of
commiseration, or as an example of how contemptible is even
intellectual greatness when not joined with moral greatness. I shall
be anxious to see if the hero of your new novel will be another
beautified Byron. Thank heaven! you have not taken to drawing your
women upon the same model. Cornelia I like the least of them; she is
the most like him, because she is so heartlessly proud and selfish,
but all the others are angels of light.
Euthanasia[16] is Shelley in female attire, and what a glorious being
she is! No author, much less the ones—French, English, or German—of
our day, can bring a woman that matches her. Shakespeare has not a
specimen so perfect of what a woman ought to be; his, for amiability,
deep feeling, wit, are as high as possible, but they want her
commanding wisdom, her profound benevolence.
I am glad to hear you are writing again; I am always in a fright lest
you should take it into your head to do what the warriors do after
they have acquired great fame,—retire and rest upon your laurels.
That would be very comfortable for you, but very vexing to me, who am
always wanting to see women distinguishing themselves in literature,
and who believe there has not been or ever will be one so calculated
as yourself to raise our sex upon that point. If you would but know
your own value and exert your powers you could give the men a most
immense drubbing! You could write upon metaphysics, politics,
jurisprudence, astronomy, mathematics—all those highest subjects
which they taunt us with being incapable of treating, and surpass
them; and what a consolation it would be, when they begin some of
their prosy, lying, but plausible attacks upon female inferiority, to
stop their mouths in a moment with your name, and then to add, “and if
women, whilst suffering the heaviest slavery, could out-do you, what
would they not achieve were they free?”
With this manifesto on the subject of women’s genius in general and of
Mary’s in particular—perhaps just redeemed by its tinge of irony from the
last degree of absurdity—it is curious to contrast Mrs. Shelley’s own
conclusions, drawn from weary personal experience, and expressed, towards
the end of the following letter, in a mood which permitted her no
illusions and few hopes.
Mrs. Shelley to Mrs. Gisborne.
Harrow, 11th June 1835.
My dearest Friend—It is so inexpressibly warm that were not a frank
lying before me ready for you, I do not think I should have courage to
write. Do not be surprised, therefore, at stupidity and want of
connection. I cannot collect my ideas, and this is a goodwill offering
rather than a letter.
Still I am anxious to thank S. G. for the pleasure I have received
from his tale of Italy—a tale all Italy, breathing of the land I
love. The descriptions are beautiful, and he has shed a charm round
the concentrated and undemonstrative person of his gentle heroine. I
suppose she is the reality of the story; did you know her?
It is difficult, however, to judge how to procure for it the
publication it deserves. I have no personal acquaintance with the
editors of any of the annuals—I had with that of the Keepsake, but
that is now in Mrs. Norton’s hands, and she has not asked me to write,
so I know nothing about it; but there arises a stronger objection from
the length of the story. As the merit lies in the beauty of the
details, I do not see how it could be cut down to one quarter of its
present length, which is as long as any tale printed in an annual.
When I write for them, I am worried to death to make my things shorter
and shorter, till I fancy people think ideas can be conveyed by
intuition, and that it is a superstition to consider words necessary
for their expression.
I was so very delighted to get your last letter, to be sure the
“Wisest of Men” said no news was good news, but I am not apt to think
so, and was uneasy. I hope this weather does not oppress you. What an
odd climate! A week ago I had a fire, and now it is warmer than Italy;
warmer at least in a box pervious to the sun than in the stone palaces
where one can breathe freely. My Father is well. He had a cough in the
winter, but after we had persuaded him to see a doctor it was easily
got rid of. He writes to me himself, “I am now well, now nervous, now
old, now young.” One sign of age is, that his horror is so great of
change of place that I cannot persuade him ever to visit me here. One
would think that the sight of the fields would refresh him, but he
likes his own nest better than all, though he greatly feels the
annoyance of so seldom seeing me.
Indeed, my kind Maria, you made me smile when you asked me to be civil
to the brother of your kind doctor. I thought I had explained my
situation to you. You must consider me as one buried alive. I hardly
ever go to town; less often I see any one here. My kind and dear young
friends, the Misses Robinson, are at Brussels. I am cut off from my
kind. What I suffer! What I have suffered! I, to whom sympathy,
companionship, the interchange of thought is more necessary than the
air I breathe, I will not say. Tears are in my eyes when I think of
days, weeks, months, even years spent alone—eternally alone. It does
me great harm, but no more of so odious a subject. Let me speak rather
of my Percy; to see him bright and good is an unspeakable blessing;
but no child can be a companion. He is very fond of me, and would be
wretched if he saw me unhappy; but he is with his boys all day long,
and I am alone, so I can weep unseen. He gets on very well, and is a
fine boy, very stout; this hot weather, though he exposes himself to
the sun, instead of making him languid, heightens the colour in his
cheeks and brightens his eyes. He is always gay and in good humour,
which is a great blessing.
You talk about my poetry and about the encouragement I am to find from
Jane and my Father. When they read all the fine things you said they
thought it right to attack me about it, but I answered them simply,
“She exaggerates; you read the best thing I ever wrote in the
Keepsake and thought nothing of it.” I do not know whether you
remember the verses I mean. I will copy it in another part; it was
written for music. Poor dear Lord Dillon spoke of it as you do of the
rest; but “one swallow does not make a summer.” I can never write
verses except under the influence of strong sentiment, and seldom even
then. As to a tragedy, Shelley used to urge me, which produced his
own. When I returned first to England and saw Kean, I was in a fit of
enthusiasm, and wished much to write for the stage, but my Father very
earnestly dissuaded me. I think that he was in the wrong. I think
myself that I could have written a good tragedy, but not now. My good
friend, every feeling I have is blighted, I have no ambition, no care
for fame. Loneliness has made a wreck of me. I was always a dependent
thing, wanting fosterage and support. I am left to myself, crushed by
fortune, and I am nothing.
You speak of woman’s intellect. We can scarcely do more than judge by
ourselves. I know that, however clever I may be, there is in me a
vacillation, a weakness, a want of eagle-winged resolution that
appertains to my intellect as well as to my moral character, and
renders me what I am, one of broken purposes, failing thoughts, and a
heart all wounds. My mother had more energy of character, still she
had not sufficient fire of imagination. In short, my belief is,
whether there be sex in souls or not, that the sex of our material
mechanism makes us quite different creatures, better, though weaker,
but wanting in the higher grades of intellect.
I am almost sorry to send you this letter, it is so querulous and sad;
yet, if I write with any effusion, the truth will creep out, and my
life since you left has been so stained by sorrow and disappointments.
I have been so barbarously handled both by fortune and my
fellow-creatures, that I am no longer the same as when you knew me. I
have no hope. In a few years, when I get over my present feelings and
live wholly in Percy, I shall be happier. I have devoted myself to him
as no mother ever did, and idolise him; and the reward will come when
I can forget a thousand memories and griefs that are as yet alive and
burning, and I have nothing to do but brood.
Percy is gone two miles off to bathe; he can swim, and I am obliged to
leave the rest to fate. It is no use coddling, yet it costs me many
pangs; but he is singularly trustworthy and careful. Do write, and
believe me ever your truly attached friend,
M. W. S.
A DIRGE
I
This morn thy gallant bark, love,
Sailed on a stormy sea;
’Tis noon, and tempests dark, love,
Have wrecked it on the lee.
Ah woe! ah woe! ah woe!
By spirits of the deep
He’s cradled on the billow
To his unwaking sleep.
II
Thou liest upon the shore, love,
Beside the knelling surge,
But sea-nymphs ever more, love,
Shall sadly chant thy dirge.
Oh come! oh come! oh come!
Ye spirits of the deep;
While near his seaweed pillow
My lonely watch I keep.
III
From far across the sea, love,
I hear a wild lament,
By Echo’s voice for thee, love,
From ocean’s caverns sent.
Oh list! oh list! oh list!
Ye spirits of the deep,
Loud sounds their wail of sorrow,
While I for ever weep.
P.S.—Do you not guess why neither these nor those I sent you could
please those you mention? Papa loves not the memory of Shelley,
because he feels that he injured him; and Jane—do you not understand
enough of her to be convinced of the thoughts that make it distasteful
to her that I should feel, and above all be thought by others to feel,
and to have a right to feel? Oh! the human heart! It is a strange
puzzle.
The weary, baffled tone of this letter was partly due to a low state of
health, which resulted in a severe attack of illness. During her boy’s
Midsummer holidays she went to Dover in search of strength, and, while
there, received a letter from Trelawny, who had returned from America, as
vivacious and irrepressible as ever.
Trelawny to Mrs. Shelley.
Bedford Hotel, Brighton,
12th September 1835.
Mary, dear—Six days I rest, and do all that I have to do on the
seventh, because it is forbidden. If they would make it felony to
obey the Commandments (without benefit of clergy), don’t you think the
pleasures of breaking the law would make me keep them?
········
I cannot surmise one of the “thousand reasons” which you say are to
prevent my seeing you. On the contrary, your being “chained to your
rock” enables me to play the vulture at discretion. It is well for
you, therefore, that I am “the most prudent of men.” What a host of
virtues I am gifted with! When I am dead, lady mine, build a temple
over me and make pilgrimages. Talking of tombs, let it be agreed
between you and me that whichever first has five hundred pounds at
his disposal shall dedicate it to the placing a fitting monument over
the ashes of Shelley.
We will go to Rome together. The time, too, cannot be far distant,
considering all things. Remember me to Percy. I shall direct this to
Jane’s, not that I think you are there. Adieu, Mary!—Your
E. Trelawny.
During the latter part of Mary’s residence in London she had seen a great
deal of Mrs. Norton, who was much attracted by her and very fond of her
society, finding in her a most sympathetic friend and confidant at the
time of those domestic troubles, culminating in the separation from her
children, which afterwards obtained a melancholy publicity. Mrs. Shelley
never became wholly intimate with her brilliant contemporary. Reserve, and
a certain pride of poverty, forbade it, but she greatly admired her, and
they constantly corresponded.
1835.
... “I do not wonder,” Mary wrote to Trelawny, “at your not being able
to deny yourself the pleasure of Mrs. Norton’s society. I never saw a
woman I thought so fascinating. Had I been a man I should certainly
have fallen in love with her; as a woman, ten years ago, I should have
been spellbound, and, had she taken the trouble, she might have wound
me round her finger. Ten years ago I was so ready to give myself away,
and being afraid of men, I was apt to get tousy-mousy for women;
experience and suffering have altered all that. I am more wrapt up in
myself, my own feelings, disasters, and prospects for Percy. I am now
proof, as Hamlet says, both against man and woman.
“There is something in the pretty way in which Mrs. Norton’s
witticisms glide, as it were, from her lips, that is very charming;
and then her colour, which is so variable, the eloquent blood which
ebbs and flows, mounting, as she speaks, to her neck and temples, and
then receding as fast; it reminds me of the frequent quotation of
‘eloquent blood,’ and gives a peculiar attraction to her
conversation—not to speak of fine eyes and open brow.
“Now do not in your usual silly way show her what I say. She is,
despite all her talents and sweetness, a London lady. She would quiz
me—not, perhaps, to you—well do I know the London ton—but to
every one else—in her prettiest manner.”
The day after this she was writing again to Mrs. Gisborne.
13th October 1835.
Of myself, my dearest Maria, I can give but a bad account. Solitude,
many cares, and many deep sorrows brought on this summer an illness,
from which I am only now recovering. I can never forget, nor cease to
be grateful to Jane for her excessive kindness to me, when I needed it
most, confined, as I was, to my sofa, unable to move. I went to Dover
during Percy’s holidays, and change of air and bathing made me so much
better that I thought myself well, but on my return here I had a
relapse, from which now this last week I am, I trust, fast
recovering. Bark and port wine seem the chief means of my getting
well. But in the midst of all this I had to write to meet my expenses.
I have published a second volume of Italian Lives in Lardner’s
Encyclopædia. All in that volume, except Galileo and Tasso, are
mine. The last is chief, I allow, and I grieve that it had been
engaged to Mr. M. before I began to write. I am now about to write a
volume of Spanish and Portuguese Lives. This is an arduous task, from
my own ignorance, and the difficulty of getting books and information.
The booksellers want me to write another novel, Lodore having
succeeded so well, but I have not as yet strength for such an
undertaking.
Then there is no Spanish circulating library. I cannot, while here,
read in the Museum if I would, and I would not if I could. I do not
like finding myself a stray bird alone among men, even if I knew
them.[17] One hears how happy people will be to lend me their books,
but when it comes to the point it is very difficult to get at them.
However, as I am rather persevering, I hope to conquer these obstacles
after all. Percy grows; he is taller than I am, and very stout. If he
does not turn out an honour to his parents, it will be through no
deficiency in virtue or in talents, but from a dislike of mingling
with his fellow-creatures, except the two or three friends he cannot
do without. He may be the happier for it; he has a good understanding,
and great integrity of character. Adieu, my dear friend.-Ever
affectionately yours,
Mary W. Shelley.
In April 1836 poor old Godwin died, and with him passed away a large part
of Mary’s life. Of those in whose existence her own was summed up only her
son now remained, and even he was not more dependent on her than her
father had been. Godwin had been to his daughter one of those lifelong
cares which, when they disappear, leave a blank that nothing seems to
fill, too often because the survivor has borne the burden so long as to
exhaust the power and energy indispensable to recovery. But she had also
been attached to him all her life with an “excessive and romantic
attachment,” only overcome in one instance by a stronger devotion still—a
defection she never could and never did repent of, but for which her whole
subsequent life had been passed in attempting to make up. If she confided
any of her feelings to her diary, no fragment has survived.
She busied herself in trying to obtain from Government some assistance—an
annuity if possible—for Mrs. Godwin. It was very seldom in her life that
Mary asked anybody for anything, and the present exception was made in
favour of one whom she did not love, and who had never been a good friend
to her. But had Mrs. Godwin been her own mother instead of a disagreeable,
jealous, old stepmother, she could not have made greater exertions in her
behalf. Mrs. Norton was ready and willing to help by bringing influence to
bear in powerful quarters, and gave Mary some shrewd advice as to the
wording of her letter to Lord Melbourne. She wrote—
... Press not
on the politics of Mr. Godwin (for God knows how much gratitude for that ever survives), but on his celebrity,
the widow’s age and ill health, and (if your proud little spirit will bear it)
on your own toils; for, after all, the truth is that you, being
generous, will, rather than see the old creature starve, work your
brains and your pen; and you have your son and delicate health to
hinder you from having means to help her.
As to petitioning, no one dislikes begging more than I do, especially
when one begs for what seems mere justice; but I have long observed
that though people will resist claims (however just), they like to
do favours. Therefore, when I beg, I am a crawling lizard, a
humble toad, a brown snake in cold weather, or any other simile most
feebly rampante—the reverse of rampant, which would be the
natural attitude for petitioning,—but which must never be assumed
except in the poodle style, standing with one’s paws bent to catch the
bits of bread on one’s nose.
Forgive my jesting; upon my honour I feel sincerely anxious for your
anxiety, and sad enough on my own affairs, but Irish blood will
dance. My meaning is, that if one asks at all, one should rather
think of the person written to than one’s own feelings. He is an
indolent man—talk of your literary labours; a kind man—speak of her
age and infirmities; a patron of all genius—talk of your father’s
and your own; a prudent man—speak of the likelihood of the pension
being a short grant (as you have done); lastly, he is a great
man—take it all as a personal favour. As to not apologising for the
intrusion, we ought always to kneel down and beg pardon for daring to
remind people we are not so well off as they are.
What was asked was that Godwin’s small salary, or a part of it, should be
continued to Mrs. Godwin for her life. As the nominal office Godwin had
held was abolished at his death, this could not be; but Lord Melbourne
pledged himself to do what he could to obtain assistance for the widow in
some form or other, so it is probable that Mary effected her purpose.
Trelawny to Mrs. Shelley.
Hastings, 25th September 1836.
Mary, dear—Your letter was exceedingly welcome; it was honoured
accordingly. You divine truly; I am leading a vegetable sort of a
life. They say the place is pretty, the air is good, the sea is fine.
I would willingly exchange a pretty place for a pretty girl. The air
is keen and shrewish, and as to the sea, I am satisfied with a bath of
less dimensions. Notwithstanding the want of sun, and the abundance of
cold winds, I lave my sides daily in the brine, and thus I am
gradually cooling down to the temperature—of the things round about
me—so that the thinnest skinned feminine may handle me without fear
of consequences. Possibly you may think that I am like the torpid
snake that the forester warmed by his hearth. No, I am not. I am
steeling myself with Plato and Platonics; so now farewell to love and
womankind. “Othello’s occupation’s gone.”
········
From an allusion in one of Mrs. Norton’s letters to Mary, it appears
likely that what follows refers to Fanny Kemble (Mrs. Butler).
You say, “Had I seen those eyes you saw the other day.” Yes, the darts
shot from those eyes are still rankling in my body; yet it is a
pleasing pain. The wound of the scorpion is healed by applying the
scorpion to the wound. Is she not a glorious being? Have you ever seen
such a presence? Is she not dazzling? There is enchantment in all her
ways. Talk of the divine power of music, why, she is all melody, and
poetry, and beauty, and harmony. How envious and malignant must the
English be not to do her homage universal. They never had, or will
have again, such a woman as that. I would rather be her slave than
king of such an island of Calibans. You have a soul, and sense, and a
deep feeling for your sex, and revere such “cunning patterns of
excelling nature,” therefore—besides, I owe it you—I will transcribe
what she says of you: “I was nervous, it was my first visit to any
one, and there is a gentle frankness in her manner, and a vague
remembrance of the thought and feeling in her books which prevents my
being as with a ‘visiting acquaintance.’”
········
Zella is doing wondrous well, and chance has placed her with a
womankind that even I (setting beauty aside) am satisfied with. By the
bye, I wish most earnestly you could get me some good morality in
the shape of Italian and French. It is indispensable to the keeping
alive her remembrance of those languages, and not a book is to be had
here, nor do I know exactly how to get them by any other means, so
pray think of it.
········
I am inundated with letters from America, and am answering them by
Mrs. Jameson; she sailing immediately is a very heavy loss to me. She
is the friendliest-hearted woman in the world. I would rather lose
anything than her....
I don’t think I shall stay here much longer; it is a bad holding
ground; my cable is chafing. I shall drift somewhere or other. It is
well for Mamma Percy has so much of her temperate blood. When us three
meet, we shall be able to ice the wine by placing it between us; that
will be nice, as the girls say.
A glance from Mrs. Nesbitt has shaken my firm nerves a little. There
is a mystery—a deep well of feeling in those star-like eyes of hers.
It is strange that actresses are the only true and natural people;
they only act in the proper season and place, whilst all the rest seem
eternally playing a part, and like dilettanti acting, damn’d absurdly.
J. Trelawny.
From Brighton, at New Year, Mrs. Shelley sent Trelawny a cheery greeting.
From Mrs. Shelley to Trelawny.
Brighton, 3d January 1837.
My dear Trelawny—This day will please you; it is a thaw; what snow we
had! Hundreds of people have been employed to remove it during the
last week; at first they cut down deep several feet as if it had been
clay, and piled it up in glittering pyramids and masses; then they
began to cart it on to the beach; it was a new sort of Augean stable,
a never-ending labour. Yesterday, when I was out, it was only got rid
of in a very few and very circumscribed spots. Nature is more of a
Hercules; she puts out a little finger in the shape of gentle thaw,
and it recedes and disappears.
········
Percy arrived yesterday, having rather whetted than satisfied his
appetite by going seven times to the play. He plays like Apollo on the
flageolet, and like Apollo is self-taught. Jane thinks him a miracle!
it is very odd. He got a frock-coat at Mettes, and, if you had not
disappointed us with your handkerchief, he would have been complete;
he is a good deal grown, though not tall enough to satisfy me;
however, there is time yet. He is quite a child still, full of
theatres and balloons and music, yet I think there is a gentleness
about him which shows the advent of the reign of petticoats—how I
dread it!
········
Poor Jane writes dismally. She is so weak that she has frequent
fainting fits; she went to a physician, who ordered her to wean the
child, and now she takes three glasses of wine a day, and every other
strengthening medicament, but she is very feeble, and has a cough and
tendency to inflammation on the chest. I implored her to come down
here to change the air, and Jeff gave leave, and would have given the
money; but fear lest his dinner should be overdone while she was
away, and lest the children should get a finger scratched, makes her
resolve not to come; what bad bogie is this? If she got stronger how
much better they would be in consequence! I think her in a critical
state, but she will not allow of a remedy.
········
Poor dear little Zella. I hope she is well and happy.... Thank you for
your offer about money. I have plenty at present, and hope to do well
hereafter. You are very thoughtful, which is a great virtue. I have
not heard from your mother or Charlotte since you left; a day or two
afterwards I saw Betsy Freeman; she was to go to her place the next
day. I paid her for her work; she looked so radiantly happy that you
would have thought she was going to be married rather than to a place
of hardship. I never saw any one look so happy. I told her to let me
know how she got on, and to apply to me if she wanted assistance.... I
am glad you are amused at your brother’s. I really imagined that Fanny
Butler had been the attraction, till, sending to the Gloucester, I
found you were gone by the Southampton coach, and then I suspected
another magnet—till I find that you are in all peace, or rather war,
at Sherfield House—much better so.
I am better a great deal; quite well, I believe I ought to call
myself, only I feel a little odd at times. I have seen nothing of the
S.’s. I have met with scarce an acquaintance here, which is odd; but
then I do not look for them. I am too lazy. I hope this letter will
catch you before you leave your present perch.—Believe me always,
yours truly,
M. W. Shelley.
Will this be a happy New Year? Tell me; the last I can’t say much for,
but I always fear worse to come. Nobody’s mare is dead,—if this frost
does not kill,—my own (such as it will be) is far enough off still.
The next letter is dated only three weeks later. What happened in that
short time to account for its complete change of tone does not appear,
except that from one allusion it may be inferred that Mrs. Shelley was
overtaken by unexpected money difficulties at a moment when she had
fancied herself tolerably at ease on that score. Nothing more likely, for
in the matter of helping others she never learnt prudence or the art of
self-defence.[18] Probably, however, there was a deeper cause for her
sombre mood. She was being pressed on all sides to write the biography of
her father. The task would have been well suited to her powers; she looked
on it, moreover, in the light of a duty which she wished and intended to
perform. Fragments and sketches of hers for this book have been published,
and are among the best specimens of her writing. But
circumstances—scruples—similar to those which had hindered her from
writing Shelley’s life stood between her and the present fulfilment of the
task. There were few people to whom she could bring herself to explain her
reasons, and those few need not have required, still less insisted on any
such explanation. But Trelawny, hot and vehement, could and would not see
why Mary did not rush into the field at once, to immortalise the man whose
system of philosophy, more than any other writer’s, had moulded Shelley’s.
He never spared words, and he probably taxed her with cowardice or
indolence, time-serving and “worldliness.”
Shaken by her father’s loss, and saddened by that of her friends, Mr. and
Mrs. Gisborne, who had died within a short time of each other shortly
before this, exhausted by work, her feelings warped by solitude, struggle,
and disappointment, this challenge to explain her conduct evoked the most
mournful of all her letters, as explicit as any one could wish; true in
its bitterness, and most bitter in its truth.
Mrs. Shelley To Trelawny.
Brighton, Thursday, 27th January 1837.
Dear Trelawny—I am very glad to hear that you are amused and happy;
fate seems to have turned her sunny side to you, and I hope you will
long enjoy yourself. I know of but one pleasure in the world—sympathy
with another, or others, rather; leaving out of the question the
affections, the society of agreeable, gifted, congenial-minded beings
is the only pleasure worth having in the world. My fate has debarred
me from this enjoyment, but you seem in the midst of it.
With regard to my Father’s life I certainly could not answer it to my
conscience to give it up. I shall therefore do it, but I must wait.
This year I have to fight my poor Percy’s battle, to try and get him
sent to College without further dilapidation of his ruined prospects,
and he has now to enter life at College. That this should be
undertaken at a moment when a cry was raised against his mother, and
that not on the question of politics but religion, would mar all.
I must see him fairly launched before I commit myself to the fury of
the waves.
A sense of duty towards my Father, whose passion was posthumous fame,
makes me ready, as far as I am concerned, to meet the misery that must
be mine if I become an object of scurrility and attack; for the rest,
for my own private satisfaction, all I ask is obscurity. What can I
care for the parties that divide the world, or the opinions that
possess it? What has my life been? What is it? Since I lost Shelley I
have been alone, and worse. I had my Father’s fate for many a year
pressing me to the earth; I had Percy’s education and welfare to guard
over, and in all this I had no one friendly hand stretched out to
support me. Shut out from even the possibility of making such an
impression as my personal merits might occasion, without a human being
to aid or encourage, or even to advise me, I toiled on my weary
solitary way. The only persons who deigned to share those melancholy
hours, and to afford me the balm of affection, were those dear
girls[19] whom you chose so long to abuse. Do you think that I have
not felt, that I do not feel all this? If I have been able to stand up
against the breakers which have dashed against my stranded, wrecked
bark, it has been by a sort of passive, dogged resistance, which has
broken my heart, while it a little supported my spirit. My happiness,
my health, my fortunes, all are wrecked. Percy alone remains to me,
and to do him good is the sole aim of my life. One thing I will add;
if I have ever found kindness, it has not been from liberals; to
disengage myself from them was the first act of my freedom. The
consequence was that I gained peace and civil usage, which they denied
me; more I do not ask; of fate I only ask a grave. I know not what my
future life is, and shudder, but it must be borne, and for Percy’s
sake I must battle on.
If you wish for a copy of my novel[20] you shall have one, but I did
not order it to be sent to you, because, being a rover, all luggage
burthens. I have told them to send it to your mother, at which you
will scoff, but it was the only way I had to show my sense of her
kindness. You may pick and choose those from whom you deign to receive
kindness; you are a man at a feast, champagne and comfits your diet,
and you naturally scoff at me and my dry crust in a corner. Often have
you scoffed and sneered at all the aliment of kindness or society that
fate has afforded me. I have been silent, for the hungry cannot be
dainty, but it is useless to tell a pampered man this. Remember in all
this, except in one or two instances, my complaint is not against
persons, but fate. Fate has been my enemy throughout. I have no
wish to increase her animosity or her power by exposing [myself] more
than I possibly can to her venomous attacks.
You have sent me no address, so I direct this to your Mother; give her
and Charlotte my love, and tell them I think I shall be in town at the
beginning of next month; my time in this house is up on the 3d, and I
ought to be in town with Percy to take him to Sir Tim’s solicitors,
and so begin my attack. I should advise you, by the bye, not to read
my novel; you will not like it. I cannot teach; I can only
paint—such as my paintings are,—and you will not approve of much of
what I deem natural feeling, because it is not founded on the new
light.
I had a long letter from Mrs. N[orton]. I admire her excessively, and
I think I could love her infinitely, but I shall not be asked nor
tried, and shall take very good care not to press myself. I know what
her relations think.
If you are still so rich, and can lend me £20 till my quarter, I shall
be glad. I do not know that I absolutely [need] it here now, but may
run short at last, so, if not inconvenient, will you send it next
week?
I shall soon be in town, I suppose; where, I do not yet know. I
dread my return, for I shall have a thousand worries.
Despite unfavourable weather, quiet and ease have much restored my
health, but mental annoyance will soon make me as ill as ever. Only
writing this letter makes me feel half dead. Still, to be thus at
peace is an expensive luxury, and I must forego it for other duties,
which I have been allowed to forget for a time, but my holiday is past.
Happy is Fanny Butler if she can shed tears and not be destroyed by
them; this luxury is denied me. I am obliged to guard against low
spirits as my worst disease, and I do guard, and usually I am not in
low spirits. Why then do you awaken me to thought and suffering by
forcing me to explain the motives of my conduct? Could you not trust
that I thought anxiously, decided carefully, and from disinterested
motives, not to save myself, but my child, from evil. Pray let the
stream flow quietly by, as glittering on the surface as it may, and do
not awaken the deep waters which are full of briny bitterness. I never
wish any one to dive into the secret depths; be content, if I can
render the surface safe sailing, that I do not annoy you with clouds
and tempests, but turn the silvery side outward, as I ought, for God
knows I would not render any living creature so miserable as I could
easily be; and I would also guard myself from the sense of woe which I
tie hard about, and sink low, low, out of sight and fathom line.
Adieu. Excuse all this; it is your own fault; speak of yourself. Never
speak of me, and you will never again be annoyed with so much
stupidity.—Yours truly,
M. S.
The painful mood of this letter was not destined to find present relief.
From her father’s death in 1836 till the year 1840 was to be perhaps the
hardest, dreariest, and most laborious time she had ever known. No chance
had she now to distract her mind or avoid the most painful themes. Her
very occupation was to tie her down to these. She was preparing her
edition of Shelley’s works, with notes. The prohibition as to bringing his
name before the public seems to have been withdrawn or at any rate
slackened; it had probably become evident, even to those least disposed to
see, that the undesirable publicity, if not given by the right person,
would inevitably be given by the wrong one. Much may also have been due to
the fact that Mr. Whitton, Sir Timothy’s solicitor, was dead, and had been
replaced by another gentleman who, unlike his predecessor, used his
influence to promote milder counsels and a better mutual understanding
than had prevailed hitherto.
This task was accepted by Mary as the most sacred of duties, but it is
probable that if circumstances had permitted her to fulfil it in the years
which immediately followed Shelley’s death she would have suffered from it
less than now. It might not have been so well done, she might have written
at too great length, or have indulged in too much expression of personal
feeling; and in the case of omissions from his writings, the decision
might have been even harder to make. Still it would have cost her less.
Her heart, occupied by one subject, would have found a kind of relief in
the necessity for dwelling on it. But seventeen years had elapsed, and she
was forty-two, and very tired. Seventeen years of struggle, labour, and
loneliness; even the mournful satisfaction of retrospect poisoned and
distorted by Jane Williams’ duplicity. She could no longer dwell on the
thought of that affection which had consoled her in her supreme
misfortune.
Mary had had many and bitter troubles and losses, but nothing entered
into her soul so deeply as the defection of this friend. Alienation is
worse than bereavement. Other sorrows had left her desolate; this one left
her different.
Hence the fact that an undertaking which would once have been a painful
pleasure was too often a veritable martyrdom. Who does not remember Hans
Andersen’s little princess, in his story of the White Swans, who freed
her eleven brothers from the evil enchantment which held them transformed,
by spinning shirts of stinging-nettles? Such nettle-shirts had Mary now to
weave and spin, to exorcise the evil spirits which had power of
misrepresenting and defaming Shelley’s memory, and to save Percy for ever
from their sinister spells.
Her health was weak, her heart was sore, her life was lonely, and, in
spite of her undaunted efforts, she was still so badly off that she was,
as the last letter shows, reduced to accepting Trelawny’s offer of a loan
of money. Nor was it only her work that she had on her mind; she was also
very anxious about her son’s future. He had, at this time, an idea of
entering the Diplomatic Service, and his mother overcame her diffidence so
far as to try and procure an opening for him—no easy thing to find. Among
the people she consulted and asked was Lytton Bulwer; his answer was not
encouraging.
Sir E. L. Bulwer to Mrs. Shelley.
Hertford Street, 17th March 1839.
My dear Mrs. Shelley—Many thanks for your kind congratulations. I am
delighted to find you like Richelieu.
With regard to your son, with his high prospects, the diplomacy may do
very well; but of all professions it is the most difficult to rise in.
The first steps are long and tedious. An Attaché at a small Court is
an exile without pay, and very little opening to talent. However, for
young men of fortune and expectations it fills up some years agreeably
enough, what with flirting, dressing, dancing, and perhaps, if one has
good luck, a harmless duel or two!
To be serious, it is better than being idle, and one certainly learns
languages, knowledge of the world, and good manners. Perhaps I may
send my son, some seventeen years hence, if my brother is then a
minister, into that career. But it will depend on his prospects. Are
you sure that you can get an attachéship? It requires a good deal of
interest, and there are plenty of candidates among young men of rank,
and, I fear, claims more pressing and urging than the memory of
genius. I could not procure that place for a most intimate friend of
mine a little time ago. I will take my chance some evening, but I fear
not Thursday; in fact, I am so occupied just at present that till
after Easter I have scarcely a moment to myself, and at Easter I must
go to Lincoln.—Yours ever,
E. L. Bulwer.
Mrs. Norton interested herself in the matter. She could not effect much,
but she was sympathetic and kind.
“You have your troubles,” she wrote, “struggling for one who, I trust,
will hereafter repay you for every weary hour and years of
self-denial, and I shall be glad to hear from you now and then how all
goes on with you and him, so do not forget me when you have a spare
half hour, and if ever I have any good news to send, do not doubt my
then writing by the first post, for I think my happiest moments now
are when, in the strange mixture of helplessness and power which has
made the warp and woof of my destiny, I can accidentally serve some
one who has had more of the world’s buffets than its good fortune.”
Some scraps of journal belonging to 1839 afford a little insight into Mrs.
Shelley’s difficulties while editing her husband’s MSS.
Journal, February 12 (1839).—I almost think that my present
occupation will end in a fit of illness. I am editing Shelley’s Poems,
and writing notes for them. I desire to do Shelley honour in the notes
to the best of my knowledge and ability; for the rest, they are or are
not well written; it little matters to me which. Would that I had more
literary vanity, or vanity of any kind; I were happier. As it is, I am
torn to pieces by memory. Would that all were mute in the grave!
I much disliked the leaving out any of Queen Mab. I dislike it
still more than I can express, and I even wish I had resisted to the
last; but when I was told that certain portions would injure the
copyright of all the volumes to the publisher, I yielded. I had
consulted Hunt, Hogg, and Peacock; they all said I had a right to do
as I liked, and offered no one objection. Trelawny sent back the
volume to Moxon in a rage at seeing parts left out....
Hogg has written me an insulting letter because I left out the
dedication to Harriet....
Little does Jefferson, how little does any one, know me! When Clarke’s
edition of Queen Mab came to us at the Baths of Pisa, Shelley
expressed great pleasure that these verses were omitted. This
recollection caused me to do the same. It was to do him honour. What
could it be to me? There are other verses I should well like to
obliterate for ever, but they will be printed; and any to her could in
no way tend to my discomfort, or gratify one ungenerous feeling. They
shall be restored, though I do not feel easy as to the good I do
Shelley. I may have been mistaken. Jefferson might mistake me and be
angry; that were nothing. He has done far more, and done his best to
give another poke to the poisonous dagger which has long rankled in my
heart. I cannot forgive any man that insults any woman. She cannot
call him out,—she disdains words of retort; she must endure, but it
is never to be forgiven; not, “indeed, cherished as matter of
enmity”—that I never feel,—but of caution to shield oneself from the
like again.
In so arduous a task, others might ask for encouragement and kindness
from their friends,—I know mine better. I am unstable, sometimes
melancholy, and have been called on some occasions imperious; but I
never did an ungenerous act in my life. I sympathise warmly with
others, and have wasted my heart in their love and service.
All this together is making me feel very ill, and my holiday at
Woodlay only did me good while it lasted.
March. ... Illness did ensue. What an illness! driving me to the
verge of insanity. Often I felt the cord would snap, and I should no
longer be able to rule my thoughts; with fearful struggles, miserable
relapses, after long repose I became somewhat better.
October 5, 1839.—Twice in my life I have believed myself to be
dying, and my soul being alive, though the bodily functions were faint
and perishing, I had opportunity to look Death in the face, and I did
not fear it—far from it. My feelings, especially in the first and
most perilous instance, was, I go to no new creation. I enter under no
new laws. The God that made this beautiful world (and I was then at
Lerici, surrounded by the most beautiful manifestation of the visible
creation) made that into which I go; as there is beauty and love here,
such is there, and I feel as if my spirit would when it left my frame
be received and sustained by a beneficent and gentle Power.
I had no fear, rather, though I had no active wish but a passive
satisfaction in death. Whether the nature of my illness—debility from
loss of blood, without pain—caused this tranquillity of soul, I
cannot tell; but so it was, and it had this blessed effect, that I
have never since anticipated death with terror, and even if a violent
death (which is the most repugnant to human nature) menaced me, I
think I could, after the first shock, turn to the memory of that hour,
and renew its emotion of perfect resignation.
The darkest moment is that which precedes the dawn. These unhappy years
were like the series of “clearing showers” which often concludes a stormy
day. The clouds were lifting, and though Mary Shelley could never be other
than what sorrow and endurance had made her, the remaining years of her
life were to bring alleviations to her lot,—slanting rays of afternoon
sunshine, powerless, indeed, to warm into life the tender buds of morning,
but which illumined the landscape and lightened her path, and shed over
her a mild radiance which she reflected back on others, affording to them
the brightness she herself could know no more, and diffusing around her
that sensation of peace which she was to know now, perhaps, for the first
time.