THE PRICE
That darkness was to Olga but the beginning of a long, long night of
suffering—such suffering as her short life had never before
compassed—such suffering as she had never imagined the world could
hold.
It went in a slow and dreadful circle, this suffering, like the turning
of a monstrous wheel. Sometimes it was so acute that she screamed with
the red-hot agony of it. At other times it would draw away from her for
a space, so that she was vaguely conscious that the world held other
things, possibly even other forms of torture. Such intervals were
generally succeeded by intense cold, racking, penetrating cold that
nothing could ever alleviate, cold that was as Death itself, freezing
her limbs to stiffness, congealing the blood in her veins, till even her
heart grew slower and slower, and at last stood still.
Then, when it seemed the end of all things had come, some unknown power
would jerk it on again like a run-down watch in which the key had
suddenly been inserted, and she would feel the key grinding round and
round and round in a winding-up process that was even more dreadful than
the running-down. Then would come agonies of heat and thirst, a sense of
being strung to breaking-point, and her heart would race and race till,
appalled, she clasped it with her fevered hands and held it back,
feeling herself on the verge of destruction.
And through all this dreadful nightmare she never slept. She was hedged
about by a fiery ring of sleeplessness that scorched her eyeballs
whichever way she turned, giving her no rest. Sometimes indeed dreams
came to her, but they were waking dreams of such vivid horror as almost
to dwarf her reality of pain. She moved continually through a furnace
that only abated when the exhausted faculties began to run down and the
deathly chill took her into fresh torments.
Once, lying very near to death, she opened her sleepless eyes upon Max's
face. He was stooping over her, holding her nerveless hand very tightly
in his own while he pressed a needle-point into her arm. That, she knew,
was the preliminary to the winding-up process. It had happened to her
before—many times she fancied.
She made a feeble—a piteously feeble—effort to resist him. On the
instant his eyes were upon her face. She saw the green glint of them and
quivered at the sight. His face was as carved granite in the weird light
that danced so fantastically to her reeling brain.
"Yes," he said grimly. "You are coming back."
Then she knew that his will, indomitable, inflexible, was holding her
fast, heedless of all the longing of her heart to escape. Then she knew
that he, and only he, was the unknown power that kept her back from
peace, forcing her onward in that dread circle, compelling her to live
in torment. And in that moment she feared him as the victim fears the
torturer, not asking for mercy, partly because she lacked the strength
and partly because she knew—how hopelessly!—that she would ask in
vain.
He did not speak to her again. He was fully occupied, it seemed, with
what he had to do. Only, when he had finished, he put his hand over her
eyes, compelling them to close, and so remained for what seemed to her a
long, long time. For a while she vibrated like a sensitive instrument
under his touch, and then very strangely there stole upon her for the
first time a sense of comfort. When he took his hand away, she was
asleep….
Max turned at last from the bed, nodded briefly to the nurse, and went
as silently as a shadow from the room.
Another shadow waited for him on the threshold, and in the light of the
passage outside the room they stood face to face.
"She will live," said Max curtly.
"And—" said Nick. He was blinking very rapidly as one dazzled.
"Yes; her reason is coming back. She knew me just now."
"Knew you!"
Max nodded without speaking.
Nick turned his yellow face for a moment towards the open window on the
stairs. His lips twitched a little. He said no word.
Max leaned against the wall, and passed his handkerchief over his
forehead. Sharp as a ferret, Nick turned.
"Come downstairs, old chap! You've been working like a nigger for the
past fortnight. You'll knock up if you are not careful."
Max went with him in silence.
At the foot of the stairs he spoke again. "I shall hand her over to Dr.
Jim now. She will do better with him than with me as she gets more
sensible."
And so a new presence came into Olga's room, and the figure of her dread
appeared no more before her waking eyes. Not at first did she realize
the change, for it was only fitfully that her brain could register any
definite impression. But one day when strong hands lifted her, something
of familiarity in the touch caught her wavering intelligence. She
looked up and saw a rugged face she knew.
"Dad!" she said incredulously.
"Of course!" said Dr. Jim bluntly. "Only just found that out?"
She made a feeble attempt to cling to him, smiling a welcome through
tears. "Oh, Dad, where have you been?"
"I?" said Dr. Jim. "Why, here to be sure, for the past week. Now we
won't have any talking. You shut your eyes like a sensible young woman
and go to sleep!"
He had always exacted obedience from her. She obeyed him now. "But you
won't go away again?" she pleaded.
"Certainly not," he said, and took her hand into his own.
The last thing she knew was the steady pressure of his fingers on her
pulse.
From that time her strength began very slowly to return. The suffering
grew less and less intense, till at last it visited her only when she
tried to think. And this she was sternly forbidden to do by Dr. Jim,
whose word was law.
She was like a little child in those days, conscious only of the passing
moment, although even then at the back of her mind she was aware of a
monstrous shadow that was never wholly absent day or night. Her father
and the nurse were the only people she saw during those early days, and
she came to watch for the former's coming with a child's eager
impatience.
"I dreamed about Nick last night," she told him one morning. "I wish he
would come home, don't you?"
"What do you want Nick for?" he said, possessing himself of her wrist as
usual.
"I don't know," she said, knitting her brows. "But it's such a long
while since he went away."
He laid his hand on her forehead, and smoothed the lines away. "If
you're a good girl," he said, "you shall go and stay with Nick at
Redlands when you are well enough."
She looked up at him with puzzled eyes. "I thought Nick was in India,
Daddy."
"He was," said Dr. Jim. "But he has come back."
"Then he is at Redlands?" she asked eagerly.
He met her look with his black brows drawn in a formidable frown. "Go
slow!" he said. "Yes, he is staying at Redlands."
"Oh, may he come and see me?" she begged.
Dr. Jim considered the point. "If you will promise to keep very quiet,"
he said finally, "I will let you see him for five minutes only."
"Now?" she asked eagerly.
"Yes, now," said Dr. Jim.
He rose with the words and went out of the room, leaving her struggling
to fulfil his condition.
She thought he would return to satisfy himself on this point, but he did
not. When the door opened again it was to admit Nick alone.
She held out her arms to him, and in a second he was beside her, holding
her fast.
"My poor little chicken!" he said, and though there seemed to be a laugh
in his voice she fancied he was in some fashion more moved than she.
"They've cut off all my hair, Nick," she said. "That's the worst of
scarlet fever, isn't it?"
"Hair will grow again, sweetheart," he said. "At least, yours will. Mine
won't. I'm going as bald as a coot."
They laughed together over this calamity which was becoming undeniably
obvious.
"You never did have much thatch, did you, Nick?" she said. "And I
suppose India has spoilt what little you had."
"It's nice of you not to set it down to advancing years," said Nick.
"Muriel does."
"Muriel? Have you seen her lately?"
"This morning," said Nick.
"Oh?" There was surprised interrogation in Olga's voice. "Where is she,
then?"
"At Redlands," said Nick; then, seeing her puzzled look: "We're married,
you know, sweetheart."
"Oh?" she said again. "I didn't know."
"It's some time ago now," said Nick. "We've got a little kiddie called
Reggie. He's at Redlands too."
"I remember now," Olga smiled understanding. "How is Reggie?" she asked.
"Oh, going strong," said Nick. "He'll soon be as big as I am."
She stretched up a shaky hand to stroke his parchment face. "You're the
biggest man I know, Nick," she said softly. "Dad says I may come and
stay with you at Redlands. Will you have me?"
"Rather!" said Nick. "There's your own room waiting for you."
"Dear Nick!" she murmured. "You are good to me."
She lay still for a few seconds, holding his hand. Her eyes were
wandering round the room. They reached him at last, alert and watchful
by her side.
"Nick!" she said.
"What is it, kiddie?"
"There's something I can't remember," she said. "And it hurts me when I
try. Nick, what is it?"
He answered her at once with great gentleness. "It's nothing you need
worry your head about, dear. I know and so does Jim. You leave it to us
till you are a bit stronger."
But she continued to look at him with trouble in her eyes. "I feel as if
someone is calling me," she said.
"But that is not so," said Nick quickly and firmly. "Believe me, there
is nothing for it but patience. Wait till you are stronger."
She submitted to the mandate, conscious of her own inability to do
otherwise; but there was a touch of reproach in her voice as she said,
"I thought you would help me, Nick."
"I will," he promised, "when the time comes."
That comforted her somewhat, for she trusted him implicitly; and when
Dr. Jim came in he found her quite tranquil.
Thereafter Nick was permitted to see her for a little every day, and she
welcomed his visits with enthusiasm.
She would have welcomed Muriel also, but Dr. Jim had decreed that one
visitor in the day was enough. She would see Muriel as soon as she was
well enough to go to Redlands.
"I really think I am well enough to go now," she confided to Nick one
morning. "Do try and persuade Dad."
Nick undertook to do so, with the result that late that night Dr. Jim
came in, wrapped her in blankets, head and all as though she had been an
infant, and carried her away.
It was a masterly move and achieved with such precision on his part that
she had scarcely time to be surprised or excited before she was lying,
still in his arms, in a motor and travelling rapidly through the
darkness. He uncovered her face then and gave her his blunt permission
to come up and breathe.
She clung to him delightedly. "Oh, Dad, isn't it fun? But you're going
to stay at Redlands too?"
"For the present," said Dr. Jim.
"Who is taking your patients?" she asked him unexpectedly.
"A fellow from London, a youngster," said Dr. Jim. "Now no more
talking, my girl! I'll have you in bed in five minutes and you must be
fast asleep in ten."
She laid her cropped head down upon his shoulder, and asked no more.
But she could not wholly repress her astonishment when she abruptly
found herself at Redlands. The adventure had all the suddenness of a
fairy-tale. "We must have been scorching!" she exclaimed. "Why, we seem
to have flown here!"
"It's necessary sometimes," said Dr. Jim.
His words did not wholly explain matters, but they effectually closed
her lips; and she asked no more as he bore her up to the room she always
occupied when staying in Nick's house. And thereafter she slept more
peacefully and naturally than she had slept for a very long time.
In the morning she found another wonder awaiting her; for it was not the
nurse who came to her bedside, but Muriel, grave and gentle and
motherly, and somehow the sight of her seemed to unveil much that till
then had been a mystery to Olga.
She greeted her very lovingly. "You can't imagine what it feels like to
see you again," she whispered, with her arms round Muriel's neck. "But I
do hope you and Dad haven't hurried back from Switzerland because of
me."
Muriel smiled at her with great tenderness. "My darling, don't you know
how precious you are?"
"Then you did!" said Olga. "I feel a horrid pig. How is Reggie?"
"He is splendid," said Reggie's mother, in the deep voice that always
indicated depth of feeling also. "Much too gay and giddy to come and see
you yet. Even Jim is satisfied with him. I couldn't ask for more than
that, could I?"
She brought her a cup of milk and sat by the bed while she drank it.
There was never any perturbing element in Muriel's presence. She
carried ever with her the gracious quietness of a mind at rest.
Olga drank her milk with a most unwonted feeling of serenity. "Reggie
certainly mustn't come near me yet," she said. "It would be awful if he
caught it."
"There is nothing to catch, dear," said Muriel, as she took back the
cup.
"Not scarlet fever?" said Olga in surprise.
"You haven't had scarlet fever," Muriel told her gently. "It was brain
fever, following upon sunstroke. That is why we have to keep you so
quiet."
"Oh!" said Olga. "Nick never told me that!"
"I don't suppose Dr. Jim would let him. But I told him I should."
Muriel's hand, cool and reassuring, held hers. "There is no object in
keeping it from you," she said. "You are getting well again, and you
always had plenty of sense, dear. I know you will be sensible now."
"I'll certainly try," said Olga.
She lay quiet then for some time, apparently engrossed in thought though
not distressed thereby. She turned her head at last and asked a sudden
question.
"Will Nick go to India without me, Muriel?"
"No, dear. He is going to wait till you can go too," Muriel answered.
"Oh, Muriel!" She carried the quiet hand impulsively to her lips.
Muriel smiled. "Are you so anxious to go?"
"I should just think I am! But I know I'm horridly selfish. How can you
bear to let him go?"
"My dear," Muriel said, "I don't think I could bear to keep him when I
know he wants to go. You will have to take care of him for me."
"Oh, I will!" said Olga earnestly.
Very little more passed between them on the subject then, but it filled
Olga's mind throughout the day, even to the exclusion of that sinister
shadow that still lurked at the back of her consciousness.
Nick did not visit her until the evening, and then she at once began to
talk of the topic that so occupied her thoughts.
"Do you know, I had actually forgotten about going to Sharapura, Nick?"
she said. "I'm so glad I've remembered. It's something to be quick and
get well for."
"Hear, hear!" said Nick, with a whoop of delight.
She laughed at his enthusiasm, and he suddenly recollected himself and
entreated her to keep calm.
"If Jim knew I had made you laugh, he'd kick me to a jelly, and give you
a blue pill."
Whereat she laughed a little more. "That would be more like Max than
Daddy Jim." And there suddenly she stopped short, the colour flooding
her pale face. "Why," she said, frowning confusedly, "I had forgotten
Max too. How is Max?"
"He's all right," said Nick lightly. "Shall I give him your love?"
"Oh, no!" she said quickly. "Don't give him anything of mine!
He—wouldn't understand."
"All right, my chicken," said Nick, with cheery unconcern. "He's got a
little brother in the East by the way. I wonder if we shall run across
him."
She did not echo the wonder. Her forehead was drawn in the old, painful
lines, and she scarcely responded to the rest of his airy conversation.
When Dr. Jim visited her later in the evening he grunted disapproval.
"What's the matter now?" he asked her, with keen eyes on her troubled
face.
"I don't know," she murmured wistfully.
"Yes, you do. Come, tell me!" He sat down on the edge of the bed with
the evident determination to get at the root of the matter.
She held back for a little, but finally, finding him obdurate, sat up
and drew herself within the circle of his arm.
"There, my dear! What is it?" said Dr. Jim.
She hid her face on his shoulder. "Dad, it—it's something to do with
Max," she whispered.
"Max? Who is Max?" demanded Dr. Jim inquisitorially, the while he
cuddled her close.
"Oh, you know, dear,—Dr. Wyndham," she murmured.
"Oh! So you call him Max, do you?" said Jim drily. "That's an
innovation, so far as I am concerned."
"I couldn't help it," she faltered, hiding her face a little lower. "He
made me."
"Did he indeed?" said Dr. Jim. "Well? What's the trouble?"
"I—I can't remember," she whispered forlornly.
"Are you in love with him?" asked Dr. Jim abruptly.
She lifted her face with a great start. "No!" she gasped breathlessly.
He looked at her with a semi-humorous frown. "Well, that's something
definite to go upon anyhow. Can't stand him at any price, eh?"
She smiled a little doubtfully. "I couldn't at one time. But now—now—"
"Yes? Now?" said Dr. Jim.
"I'm just—afraid of him," she said, a piteous quiver in her voice.
"What for?" Dr. Jim sounded stern, but his hold was very comforting.
"That's just it," said Olga. "I don't remember. I can't remember. But I
know he is angry—for some reason. I think—I think I must have
done—something he didn't like. Anyhow—I know he is angry."
Dr. Jim grunted again. "Does that matter?" he asked after a moment.
She clung to him very fast. "It will matter—when I see him again."
"And if you don't see him again?" said Dr. Jim.
"Oh, Dad!" she said, with a deep breath.
"Well?" he persisted. "Would that simplify matters? Would that set your
mind at rest?"
"Oh, yes, it would!" she said, with immense relief.
He gave her an abrupt kiss, and laid her down. "Very well then. That's
settled," he said. "You shan't see him again. Now go to sleep!"
But though she knew he would keep his promise, she was not wholly
satisfied, nor did sleep come to her very readily. Her mind was vaguely
disturbed. The thought of Max had set her brain in a turmoil which she
literally dared not attempt to pursue to its source. She was beginning
to be desperately afraid of the mystery she could not penetrate.
She was not so well in the morning, and Dr. Jim rigidly refused to allow
either Nick or Muriel at her bedside.
He himself was there during the greater part of the day, watching her,
waiting upon her, with a vigilance that never slackened. She suffered a
good deal of pain, but his unremitting care did much to alleviate it,
and in the evening she was better again, albeit considerably weakened.
After that, her progress was slow, and finding the effort of thought
beyond her, she was forced wearily to give up the attempt to think. Even
when at length her strength returned sufficiently for her to be carried
downstairs and laid on a couch in the garden, the mystery still remained
a mystery, and for some reason unintelligible even to herself she had
grown content to leave it so. She avoided all thought of it with a
morbid dread that was in part physical; for any attempt at concentration
in those days always entailed a headache that rendered her practically
blind and speechless for hours.
Meantime, they sought to keep her occupied with thoughts of her coming
adventure in the East with Nick. There were many preparations to be
made, and Muriel tackled them with a steady energy that could not fail
to excite Olga's interest. She even roused herself to assist, though Dr.
Jim would not permit her to do much, and would often rise and take the
work out of her hands when her eyes began to droop.
She had her hours of great depression also, when life was nothing but a
burden and she would weep without knowing why. On these occasions Nick
was invaluable. He had a wonderful knack of banishing those tears, and
in his cheery presence the burden was never insupportable.
It was on Nick's wiry strength that she leaned when she tottered forth
for her first walk in the garden. She would probably have wept over her
weakness if he had not made her laugh at it instead. It was a morning of
soft misty sunshine in the early autumn, and a robin trilled his gay
greeting to them as they slowly crept along.
"Jolly little beggar!" said Nick. "Robins always appeal tome. They know
how to be cheerful in adversity. Care to go down to the glen,
sweetheart? I'll haul you back again."
Yes, Olga would go to the glen. It was a favourite haunt with both of
them. The sun glinted on the narrow pathway as they went. The twinkle of
the stream was like fairy laughter, with every now and then a secret
gurgle as of a laugh suppressed.
They halted on the mossy bank, Nick's arm affording active support. Olga
looked down thoughtfully into the running water.
"The last time I was here," she said slowly, "was on the day I went to
the Priory to—ask—Violet—to come and stay with me. That must be ages
ago."
"Oh, ages!" said Nick.
She turned to him with a puzzled air. "I wonder Violet hasn't been to
see me, Nick. Where is she?"
His flickering eyes were searching the stream. "She's gone away," he
said.
"Oh! Where has she gone?"
"Haven't a notion," he said indifferently.
"I wonder I haven't heard," mused Olga. "I suppose she hasn't written?"
"Not to my knowledge," said Nick. His attention was obviously still
fixed upon the babbling water.
"Oh, well, she hardly ever does write," commented Olga. "And you don't
know where she is gone?"
"I do not," said Nick.
At this point his preoccupation seemed to strike her. "What are you
looking at?" she asked.
He nodded towards a clump of ferns that fringed the bank. "I thought I
saw my friend the scarlet butterfly. There is a beauty lives hereabouts.
Yes; by Jove, there he is! See him, Olga?"
Even as he spoke the scarlet butterfly emerged from its hiding place and
fluttered down the stream.
Olga uttered a sharp cry that brought Nick's eyes to her face. "What's
the matter, kiddie? What is it?"
For a moment she was too overcome to tell him. Then: "Oh, Nick," she
said, "I saw that butterfly the last time I was here. It was fluttering
along just like that. And then—all of a sudden—a dreadful green
dragon-fly flashed out on it, and—and—I didn't see it any more."
"Cheer up!" said Nick. "Evidently it escaped."
"Oh, I wonder!" she said, in a voice of puzzled distress. "I do wonder!"
His shrewd glance returned to the moth quivering like a flower petal in
the breeze. "Well, there it is!" he said cheerily. "Let's give it the
benefit of the doubt."
Her face did not wholly clear. "I wish I knew," she said. "Do you
really think it can be the same, Nick?"
"I've never seen more than one," said Nick, "so it would appear to be a
more artful dodger than you took it for. I don't see friend dragon-fly
anywhere about."
She shuddered suddenly and convulsively. "No, and I hope he isn't here.
Do you know what he made me think of? Max; so strong, so merciless, and
so horribly clever."
"I'm clever too," said Nick modestly.
"Oh, but in a different way," protested Olga.
Again his quick eyes flashed over her. "I think you are rather hard on
Max myself," he said unexpectedly.
"I?" said Olga.
"Yes, you, my dear. You've no right to regard him in that unwholesome
light. He doesn't deserve it. He is quite a decent sort; a little too
managing perhaps, but that's just his way. You might go further and fare
much worse."
He paused, but Olga said no word. She only palpitated against his arm.
He continued after a moment with the quick decision characteristic of
him. "I'm not going to pursue the subject, but just this once—in
justice to the man—I must have my say. You asked me once if I liked
him, and I was not in a position to tell you. I will tell you now. I
like him thoroughly. He's a man after my own heart, straight and clean
and staunch. If you ever want someone to trust—trust him! He'd stand by
you to perdition."
"Oh, do you think that of him, Nick?" she said, as one incredulous.
"Yes, dear, I do," said Nick. "Well, that's all I have to say. Suppose
we begin to crawl back!"
But Olga waited a moment, watching with fascinated eyes the speck of
scarlet that still trembled in the sunshine. It fluttered from sight at
last, and with a sigh she turned.
"I wonder if it got away!" she murmured again, as if to herself. "I do
wonder!"
But to Max, in spite of Nick's spirited eulogy, she made no further
reference.
Nick dined at his brother's house at Weir that evening, alone with Max
Wyndham. The boys had gone back to school, and the house was almost
painfully quiet. Even Nick seemed to feel a certain depression in the
atmosphere, for his cheerful chatter was decidedly fitful, and when he
and Max were seated opposite to one another smoking it ceased
altogether.
Out of a long silence came Max's voice. "When did you say you were
starting for the East?"
"Three weeks next Friday," said Nick.
Max grunted, and the silence was renewed.
It was Nick's voice, cracked and careless, that next broke the spell. He
seemed to speak on the edge of a laugh. "It's just six years ago since
the woman I wanted went to India. Curious, isn't it?"
"What's curious?" said Max.
Nick explained, still with a suspicion of humour in his words: "Well,
the funny part of it was that she hoped and believed she was going to
get away from me. However, I viewed the matter otherwise, and—I
followed her."
"Did you though?" said Max. "And how did the lady take it? Was she
pleased?"
"My dear chap, she didn't know." The laugh was more apparent now. Nick
removed his cigar to indulge it. "I was most careful not to get in her
way, you understand. I was simply there—if wanted."
"And events proved you justified, I suppose?" Max sounded interested
after a cynical and quite impersonal fashion.
"They did," said Nick. His own elastic grin appeared for an instant and
was gone. "Events can generally be trimmed to suit your purpose," he
said, "if you are sufficiently in earnest."
"That has not been my experience," observed Max briefly.
"Perhaps you haven't tried," said Nick.
Silence descended once more, and Nick was rude enough to fall asleep.
An hour later he awoke with extreme alertness in response to a remark
from Max as to the lateness of the hour.
"Yes, by Jove," he said. "I must be getting back. By the way, Wyndham,
did I mention to you that Sharapura is the name of the place we are
going to? It's quite an interesting corner of the Empire, and declared
by medical experts to be a top-hole neighbourhood for studying malaria."
"Is that a recommendation?" asked Max grimly.
Nick's smile was geniality itself. "It is," he answered; "a very strong
recommendation." He thrust out a friendly hand. "Good-night, my son, and
good luck to you!"
Max's grip was hard and sustained. He looked into the grinning, humorous
face, and almost in spite of himself his own mouth took a humorous
twist.
"So that's what you came to say, is it?" he said. "Well, good-night, you
old rotter, and—thanks!"
Nick mounted his horse and rode back in the moonlight, singing a
tuneless but very sentimental love lyric to the stars.