On no day of the year—spring, summer, autumn, or
winter, did any inhabitant of Garth House rise before
Rebekah. Grimly complete, starch and stiff and taciturn, she
would be about the dim house, feeling nothing of the cold
blackness of a winter morning, finding apparently no pleasure
in the beauty of a summer dawn. Her business was with the
House—human beings (yes, Trenchards as well as the rest)
she despised—for Houses she could feel reverence ... they
were stronger than she.
Upon the Sunday morning that followed the “Feast” at
Rafiel, very early indeed, she was moving about the passages.
Looking out on to the lawn and bushes, wet with mist, she
knew that it would be a bad day.... Weather mattered to
her nothing: people (although the Trenchards might think
otherwise) mattered to her nothing. Her business was with
the House....
That Sunday began badly for Aunt Aggie—and, therefore,
for everyone else. Before she woke—in the dusty labyrinth
of her half-waking dreams—she knew that her tooth was
aching. In her dreams this tooth was of an enormous size,
holding, although it was in form and figure a veritable tooth,
a huge hammer that it brought down, with a regular beat,
upon Aunt Aggie’s jaw. She screamed, struggled, fought,
awoke—to find that the tooth had receded to its proper place
and size, was still faintly beating, but not aching—only
threatening. This threat was, in its way, more terrible than
a savage ache. When would the ache begin? Ah, here it
was!... no, only the throb.... Would hot or cold food
irritate it? Would the wind?... She got out of bed and
drew her blind. Her clock told her that the hour was seven.
Why had Annie not called her? Annie had overslept herself—what
was it to Annie if Aunt Aggie were late for Early
Service? But it must be something to Annie. Annie must
be warned. Annie ... Aunt Aggie was conscious that she
had a headache, that the weather was abominable, and that
crossing through the wood to the church would certainly start
the tooth. But she was resolved. Very grimly, her mouth
tightly closed, her heart beating because she was expecting
that, at every moment, that tooth.... Aunt Aggie had her
bath, dressed, informed Annie, who came, very greatly agitated,
at half-past seven, that this would not be the last she
heard of it, walked off to church. During the singing of the
collection hymn her tooth leapt upon her.... It came to her
like some malign and secret enemy, who would influence her
not so deeply through actual pain as through his insistence on
what, please God, he would do afterwards. She hurried
home to breakfast through the wet, grey morning, saying to
herself: “It shall not ache! I forbid it to ache! You hear
me! You shall not!” and always that sinister whisper replied
in her ear: “Wait. Just see what I’ll do to you in a moment.”
In her bedroom some iodine, which she applied to her gum,
reduced the inside of her mouth to sawdust; through the
dried discomfort of it all her enemy still beat at her heart
ironically.
She was determined that the tooth should not alter her day.
She knew how easily ordinary human beings succumbed—such
weakness should not be hers. Nevertheless her love of
honesty compelled her to admit that, this morning, the house
looked horrible. It had, as she had often told Harriet, been
always overcrowded with ‘things’—with mats and jars and
pots and photographs, old books, magazines, ink-bottles, china
ornaments, stones and shells, religious emblems, old calendars,
and again photographs, photographs, photographs.... It
was not that the house was definitely untidy, but that once a
thing was there, there it remained. The place looked like
home, because it was filled with properties that any newcomer
would instantly discard. Everything was dim and
faded—carpets, curtains, books, pictures; Katherine, Millie,
Henry could remember how the water-colour of “Rafiel
Beach,” the photograph of Trezent Head, the dining-room
marble clock, surmounted by the Goddess Diana minus her
right leg, the book-case in the drawing-room, with rows and
rows of the novels of Anthony Trollope (each in three volumes),
the cuckoo clock in the dark corner on the first landing,
the glass case with sea shells in the hall near the hat-rack,
the long row of faded Trenchard and Faunder photographs
in the drawing-room, the little corner cupboard with
the Sunday games in it—Bible Lotto, puzzle map of Palestine,
Bible Questions and Bible Answers—all these things had
been “first there” since the beginning of time, even as the oak
on the lawn, the rough grass meadows that ran to the very
posts of the house, the little wood and the tennis lawn with the
brown hole in the middle of it had always been ‘there.’ Aunt
Aggie herself had grown profoundly accustomed to it all—in
her heart she would not have had a shell nor a photograph
removed from its place. Nevertheless, upon this grey Sunday
morning she was oppressed, almost triumphantly, about her
sense of the dinginess and confusion of the house. It was
as though she said to herself: “There! it’s not my tooth at
all that makes me feel out of sorts with things. It’s simply
Harriet’s inability to put things straight.” She found then
that everyone was very quiet at breakfast—‘sulky’ one could
be justified in calling it. Moreover, there were ‘sausages
again!’ Harriet knew perfectly well that Aggie hated sausages—nevertheless
she persisted, with the devotion of a blind
slave to an august ritual, in having, always, sausages for
Sunday breakfast. Aggie was, in spite of her tooth, hungry
this morning, but when, with an unconscious self-consciousness,
during a silence, she said: “No sausage for me, thanks.
You know, Betty, that I never care for them.” No one said:
“Have an egg, Aggie: it can be boiled in a moment.”
Only Harriet, with her attention obviously elsewhere, remarked
carelessly: “We can have the ham in, Aggie, if you
like”—to which Aggie could only reply: “You know I dislike
cold ham, Harriet.”
But, indeed, Sunday breakfast was never a very jolly meal—how
could it be? The hour was throbbing with a consciousness
of the impending difficulties and problems of the day.
There was Church, there was Sunday School, there were
callers in the afternoon: there were meals, the very heavy
midday meal with roast beef and Yorkshire pudding, tea with
a great deal of stiff conversation, something in the manner of
Ollendorff, supper, when the chill on the food typified the
exhausted spirits of the tired company. During too many
years had Henry, Millie, Katherine, and still more Aggie,
Betty and Mrs. Trenchard worn Sunday clothes, eaten Sunday
meals, suffered Sunday restraint, known Sunday exhaustion
for it to be possible for any of them to regard Sunday
in a normal, easy fashion. Very right and proper that they
should so regard it. I would only observe that if there is to
be a thorough explosion of Trenchard, of Faunder tempers—if
there is to be, in any kind of way, a “family scene” Sunday
will be, almost certainly, the background selected for it. Aunt
Aggie, looking around her, on this morning, at her assembled
friends and relations, ‘thought them all very sulky indeed.
Wrapped up entirely in their own selfish thoughts’.... The
day began badly.
Half an hour before church Rachel Seddon and Uncle Tim
were alone together in the drawing-room. She was standing,
prepared and waiting, staring through the windows at the
wild meadow that seemed now soaked with moisture, bent
before the dripping wind. She was thinking very deeply.
She did not at first hear Uncle Tim, and when, turning
suddenly, she saw him, she thought how exactly he suited the
day. By his appearance he instantly justified the atrocious
weather: he was wearing a rough grey suit and a low flannel
collar: his heard and hair glistened, as though the damp had
soaked through them, he carried a muddy trowel in his hand.
He came hurriedly into the room, as though he were searching
for something. Then when he saw Rachel he stopped, put
the trowel down on one of the drawing-room chairs, smiled
at her, and came across to her. She had never known him
very well, but she had always liked him—his genial aloofness,
the sense that he always gave of absolute independence,
cheerful but never dogmatic, pleased her. Now she was troubled,
and felt that he could help her.
“What’s the matter with Katie?” she said, abruptly, looking
at him with sharp but deeply honest eyes.
He felt in his tumbled pockets for his pipe and tobacco,
then slowly said:
“I was just off for worms—I wanted Henry, but I suppose
he’s going to church.... Katie?... Why?”
“I don’t know why. I want to know. It’s been these last
few days—ever since—ever since—Saturday, Friday, Thursday—the
day at Rafiel. She’s unhappy.”
“The lovers have had a quarrel.”
“If it were only that!... no, that’s not Katie, and you
know it isn’t. Philip’s done something—told her something—”
“Ah, you think that because you dislike him.”
“I don’t know that I do—now. I certainly did at first, but
now—here ... I don’t know. He’s so much younger than
I’d expected, and he is really trying his best to suit himself
to the family and the place. I’m sorry for him. I rather like
him after all. But what is the matter with everyone? Why
is the house so uncomfortable? Why can’t it all be just
smooth and easy? Of course we all hated Katie being engaged
at first—I suppose we thought that she might have
done better. But now everyone ought to be used to it:
instead of being used to it, it’s positively ‘nervy’ the atmosphere.”
“It’s simply,” said Uncle Tim, pressing down his tobacco
into his pipe, “the attack by a Young Man with Imagination
upon a family without any. The Young Man’s weak of
course—people with imagination always are—he’s weak and
impatient, and insists upon everything being perfect. All
the family wants is to be let alone—but it will never be let
alone again. The break-up is beginning.”
“The break-up?” said Rachel.
“It’s like this. If Harriet catches me smoking here in the
morning there’ll be a row.” He picked up the trowel and
waved it. “Nearly the whole of our class in England has,
ever since the beginning of last century, been happily asleep.
It isn’t good for people to have a woman on the throne for
sixty years—bless her all the same, and her making a success
of it. So we’ve slept and slept and slept. The Old Lady
died. There was the Boer War: there were motorcars, flying
machines, telephones. Suddenly England was an island no
longer. She’s got to pay attention to other people, other
ideas, other customs. She’s got to look out of her window
instead of just snoozing on the sofa, surrounded by her mid-Victorian
furniture. Everything’s cracking: new classes are
coming up, old classes are going down. Birth is nothing:
autocracies are anachronisms.... A volcano’s coming.
Everything will be blown sky-high. Then the folk who are
left will build a new city—as bad, as stupid, as selfish as the
old one, perhaps—but different ... as different as Garth
from China and China from Paradise.”
“And Katherine and Philip?” said Rachel.
“Oh, young Mark’s just one of the advance-guard. He’s
smashing up the Trenchards with his hammer—the same way
that all the families like us up and down England are being
smashed up. If it isn’t a young man from abroad, it’s a letter
or a book or a telephone number or a photograph or a suicide
or a Lyceum melodrama. It doesn’t matter what it is. The
good old backbone of England has got spine disease. When
your good grandmother died your lot went; now our lot is
going.... When I say going I mean changing.”
“There was a funny little man,” said Rachel, “whom Uncle
John used to know. I forget his name, but he talked in the
same way when grandmother died, and prophesied all kinds
of things. The world hasn’t seemed very different since then,
but grandmother was an impossible survival, and her lot went,
all of them, long before she did. All the same, if you’ll forgive
me, I don’t think that England and possible volcanoes
are the point for the moment. It’s Katie I’m thinking about.
If she’s unhappy now what will she be after she’s married to
him?—If Katie were to make an unhappy marriage, I think
it would be the greatest sorrow of my life. I know ... I’ve
known ... how easily things can go wrong.”
“Ah, things won’t go wrong.” Uncle Tim smiled confidently.
“Young Mark’s a good fellow. He’ll make Katherine
happy all right. But she’ll have to change, and changing
hurts. She’s been asleep like the others.... Oh, yes! she
has! There’s no one loves her better than I, but she’s had, in
the past, as much imagination as that trowel there. Perhaps
now Philip will give her some. She’ll lose him if she doesn’t
wake up. He’s restive now under the heavy hands of my dear
relations—He’ll be gone one fine morning if they don’t take
care. Katie must look out....” He waved his trowel in
the direction of the garden. “All this is like a narcotic. It’s
so safe and easy and ordered. Philip knows he oughtn’t to
be comfortable here. Katie, Millie and Henry are beginning
to know it. Even Harriet, Aggie, Betty, George will get a
tiny glimmering of it one day. But they’re too old to change.
That’s their tragedy. All the same, you see, before this time
next year George will be proposing to take Harriet for a trip
abroad—Italy probably—a thing he’s never done since the
day of his marriage.”
And at that very moment George entered, very smart and
big and red, with yellow gloves and a flower in his button-hole.
“What’s that?” he cried, with his usual roar of laughter.
“Who says I’ll do what?”
“Take Harriet abroad before this time next year,” said
Tim.
“I?... Not much!... We know better than that.
England’s good enough for us. There isn’t a spot in the
world to touch this place in the summer—so why should we
stir? You’ll be saying we ought to go to Russia next, ...
smoking your beastly pipe in here too. Why don’t you dress
decently and go to church?”
A Church Invasion followed. The Invasion rustled and
listened to the bell that called across the garden. ‘Com-ing?...
Com-ing?... Com-ing?’... Then ‘Come! Come!
Come!’ and said: “Where’s Katie?... It isn’t Litany to-day,
so there’ll be time before lunch. Where’s Henry?...
We’d better start, the bell’s stopping. Just hold my prayer-book
a minute, Millie dear, whilst I do this....”
Finally the Invasion called: “Katie! Katie! Katherine!...
We’re going!” and a voice, very far away answered:
“Yes.... I’ll catch you up! Go on!”
The Invasion left, followed by Uncle Tim, smiling to himself,
the trowel in his hand. The house was very still then,
relapsing with a little sigh of content into its Sunday quiet:
a bird was chattering gently to itself in the wet garden.
Katherine hurried into the drawing-room, her cheeks
flushed, buttoning her gloves, her prayer-book under her arm.
Her black dress, a little open at the front, had a stiff black
lace collar at the back, Elizabethan fashion; now, for the first
time in her life, she was wearing something that she had
herself thought about and planned. It was for Philip....
She looked about the empty drawing-room, then hurried
away through the little wood. How unlike her to be late!
She was always the first of the party. But to-day she had
been dreaming in her bedroom, sitting, with her hands in her
lap, looking out of the window, wondering, longing to know ...
No, she was not jealous. Her curiosity had no tinge
of jealousy in it. Why should she be jealous? Was not the
thing over, closed? Had not the woman herself dismissed
him? That strange figure in that strange country! The
wild town, as he had described it, like a village with towers
and towers, gold and green and blue, and the carts with
painted roofs and the strange writing on the shop-walls ...
and the woman standing there, in the middle of it. This
woman, who had known Philip better than Katherine knew
him, whom Philip had madly loved, who had borne Philip a
son. She was still living there, loving, now, perhaps someone
else, looking back perhaps with some scorn and some pity
and some affection to the days when Philip had kissed her, to
the hour when their son had died, to that first meeting in the
strange country house, where everyone might come and go as
they pleased. No, there was no jealousy; but Katherine
wanted to have her there, standing in front of her, so that she
might study her clothes, her hair, her eyes. Here was a
woman whom Philip had madly loved—and he had ceased to
love her. Well, he might also cease to love Katherine. But
that other woman had dismissed him. Fancy dismissing him!
When one had shared with him such experiences how could
one ever let him go?... Ah, what, what was she like?
Was her voice soft or harsh? How did she look when Philip
made love to her? When Philip made love to her.... Yes,
there was pain in that.
Katherine hurried under the low porch of the church.
She could hear the voice: ‘Wherefore I pray and beseech
you, as many as are here present, to accompany me with a
pure heart....’
As the congregation knelt she slipped into a seat at the
back of the church. She had always loved the shabby, ugly
little place. It had, for one thing, nothing to boast about—had
no fine carvings like the Rafiel Church, no splendid
tombs like the two Dunstan St. Firths at Poloynt, no wonderful
glass like the Porthcullin memorial window at Borhaze;
frankly ugly, white-washed, with thin narrow grey
glass in the side-walls and a hideous purple Transfiguration
above the altar, with plain, ugly seats, a terrible modern lectern,
a shabby nondescript pulpit, a font like an expensive
white sweet, and the most shining and vulgar brass tablet
commemorating the Garth heroes of the Boer War.
No other church could ever mean so much to Katherine
as this, her shabby friend. She was glad that it was no
show place for inquisitive tourists to come tramping over
with haughty eyes and scornful boasts. It was her own ...
she loved it because strangers would always say: “How
hideous!” because she could remember it on wonderful summer
evenings when through the open doors the congregation
could hear the tinkling sheep-bells and smell the pinks from
the Rectory garden, on wild nights when the sea gales howled
round its warm, happy security, on Christmases, on Easters,
on Harvest Festivals: she loved it on the evenings when, with
its lights covering its plainness, the Garth villagers would
shout their souls away over “Onward, Christian soldiers” or
“For all the Saints” or would sink into sentimental tenderness
over “Abide with me” and “Saviour, again to Thy dear
name”; she loved it because here she had been sad and happy,
frightened and secure, proud and humble, victorious and defeated ...
as this morning she sank on her knees, burying
her face in her hands, she felt at first as though her
Friend had found her, had encircled her with His arm, had
drawn her into safety....
And yet, after a little while, her unrest returned. As
Mr. Smart and the congregation hurried through the psalms
for the day, trying, as it were, to beat one another in the
friendly race, Katherine felt again that insistent pressure
and pursuit. Her mind left the church: she was back again
with Philip at Rafiel ... and now she was searching that
mysterious town for that elusive, laughing figure. Katherine
had in her mind a clear picture; she saw a woman, tall and
thin, a dark face with black, ironical eyes, hair jet black, a
figure alert, independent, sometimes scornful, never tragic
or despairing. “If she knew me she would despise me” ...
this thought came flashing like a sudden stream of light across
the church. “If she knew me she’d despise me ... despise
me for everything, even perhaps for loving Philip”—and yet
she felt no hostility; of a certainty no jealousy, only a little
pain at her heart and a strange conviction that the world
was altered now simply because there was a new figure in it.
And there were so many things that she wanted to know.
Why had Anna dismissed Philip? Was it simply because
she was tired of him? Was it perhaps for his own sake,
because she thought that he was wasting his life and character
there. No, Anna probably did not think about his character....
Did she still care for him and, now that he was gone,
long for him? Well, Katherine had him now, and no one
should take him.... Would she, perhaps, write to Philip
and try to compel him to return? Did she think of the son
who had died? Had she much heart or was she proud and
indifferent?
“... grant that this day we fall into no sin, neither run
into any kind of danger: but that all our doings may be
ordered by Thy governance to do that which is right....”
Mr. Smart’s voice brought back the church, the choir with
two girls in large flowered hats, the little boys, Mr. Hart, the
butcher, and Mr. Swithan, the grocer, the broad backs in the
family pew. Aunt Aggie, Aunt Betty, Henry, Mrs. Trenchard,
Millie, Philip, George Trenchard, Rachel Seddon (the
family pew was a hideous box with a door to it, and you
could see only the top half of the Trenchards.... They,
however, could see everything: Mrs. Trenchard could see
the choir, and the choir knew it). Because Katherine was
never late, therefore was she denied the opportunity of studying
the Collective Trenchard Back. To-day she had it in
front of her, and it seemed, suddenly, to be something with
which she herself had no concern at all. For an amazing,
blinding, and most desolating moment she viewed the Trenchards
as a stranger might view them. Her loneliness was
appalling. She belonged to no one. She had no place nor
country: her mother and Philip had left her ... only a
strange woman, watching her to see what she would do,
laughed at her. As she stood up and Mr. Smart gave out the
hymn, she saw that there was a hole in her glove. She felt
shabby and hot, and covered the hole with her other hand, because
during that moment she was positively, actively conscious
of the other woman’s curious, hostile gaze; then, as
the hymn began, security came back to her—her heart beat
quietly again.
“Why were you late, dear?” said Aunt Aggie, walking back
through the wood.
“I dawdled.”
“Dawdled! How unlike you, dear! I remember years
ago when I dawdled one Sunday mother saying ... Oh,
dear, there it begins again!”
“Is your tooth bad?”
“Never mind, dear, say nothing about it. The last thing
I should wish for would be a fuss. I thought poor Mr. Smart
at his very worst this morning. Since his last child was
born he’s never preached a good sermon. Really, it’s difficult
to be patient with him.”
“Have you done anything for it, Aunt Aggie?”
“Iodine. It comes and goes. If it were only steady....”
Katherine knew that it was of the utmost importance to be
sympathetic, but all that she could think of in her head
was, “How silly to worry about a tooth! How silly to worry
about a tooth!...” She knew at once that Aunt Aggie
saw that she was unsympathetic, and that she resented it
deeply.
“Mind you say nothing, dear,” she said, as they crossed
the lawn. “You know that I hate a fuss.” And Katherine,
who had stopped on the grass and was staring at the horizon,
did not even answer. Then Aunt Betty came up and said:
“What a delightful sermon! Mr. Smart gets better and
better.”
Aunt Aggie did not trust herself to speak.
Meanwhile Philip also had been unhappy. He did frankly
hate an English Sunday, and to-day the damp-grey heaviness
overwhelmed him, so that he was almost melodramatic in his
resentment.
Four days now had passed since the “Feast”, and he
thought that they had been the worst four days of his life.
He, positively, had not slept: he had been driven by a wild,
uncertain spirit, inspiring him now to this action and now
to that, making him cry out in the middle of the night.
“What is she thinking about it? Is it changing her love for
me?... Perhaps she doesn’t love me any more, and is
afraid to tell me. She didn’t seem angry then when I told
her, but she may not have realised—now—” He wanted her
to tell him everything, and he wanted her also never to allude
to the affair again. He had confessed to her, and there was
no more to be said—and yet she must say what now, after
four days, she felt about it. Meanwhile she said nothing and
he said nothing. There was constraint between them for
the only time since their first meeting. He had thought that
his confession would have smashed the cobwebs—it had only
made them the more blinding.
Meanwhile it was all so desperately serious to him that
he simply could not endure the watching and waiting family.
His insistent desire that ‘things should be perfect’ had from
the beginning been balked by the family’s presence, now his
sense that they all wanted to take Katherine away from him
awoke in him a real hysterical nightmare of baffled impotence.
He would willingly have strangled Aunt Aggie,
Henry and Mrs. Trenchard, and then set fire to the house
and garden. Then, into the middle of it all, came this
impossible Sunday.
He set his teeth over the roast beef, Aunt Aggie’s complaints
and George Trenchard’s hearty commonplace;
directly luncheon was over he seized Katherine.
“Look here! we must go for a walk—now—at once!”
“My dear Phil! I can’t—there’s my Sunday School at
three. I haven’t looked at anything.”
“Sunday School! Oh, my God!... Sunday School!
Look here, Katie, if you don’t walk with me first I shall go
straight down to the village pond and drown myself.”
“No, you mustn’t do that.” She seemed quite grave
about it. “All right—wait for me. I’ll be down in two minutes.”
They set off along the road to Pelynt Cross, the thin sea
mist driving in their faces.
He broke out: “I must go away from here. To-morrow,
at once—I simply can’t stand it any longer.”
“Can’t stand what?”
“Seeing you swallowed up by the family, who all hate
me and want to get rid of me. You yourself are changing—you
aren’t frank with me any longer. You don’t say what
you think. What use am I here anyway? What good is it
my hanging round doing nothing? I’m sick of it. I’m losing
you—I’m miserable. A Sunday like this is enough to
make one commit murder.”
She put her hand inside his arm and drew him closer to
her.
“I know what it is,” she said. “You’ve been wondering
why I haven’t spoken to you about what you told me the
other day. You’ve been thinking that I ought to, haven’t
you?”
“No, it’s only that I’ve wondered whether perhaps you’ve
changed your mind since then. Then you didn’t seem to be
angry, but, thinking about it afterwards—”
“Why, Phil,” she said, “how could there be anything different?
It’s all gone, finished. You don’t suppose that I
ever imagined that you’d never loved another woman before
you met me. I’m interested, that’s all. You’ve told me so
little about her. I’d like to know all sorts of things—even
quite little unimportant things—”
“It would be much better,” he said slowly, “if we just
left it and didn’t talk about it.”
“But I thought you wanted me to talk about it?” she
cried. “How funny you are!”
“No, I didn’t want you to talk about it. It’s only that I
didn’t like there being constraint—I don’t see why you should
care. It’s like talking about someone who’s dead.”
“But she isn’t dead. Do you suppose, Phil—would she,
do you think, like you to go back?”
“No, I’m sure she wouldn’t—at least I don’t think so.”
“Was she the kind of woman who forgets easily, who can
put people out of her life just as she wants to?”
“Anna ...” His voice lingered over the name. “No, I
don’t think she ever forgot. She was simply independent.”
“Would she think of your boy and want him back?”
“She might.” He suddenly stopped. “She might. That
evening he was so ill she—”
Katherine looked across the fields to Pelynt Cross, dim and
grey beneath the rain.
“She had a heart, then,” she said slowly.
He suddenly wheeled about with his face to Garth. He
spoke sharply and roughly in a voice that she had never heard
him use before.
“Don’t, Katie—leave her alone. What do you go on about
her for?”
“But if it’s all dead?”
“Oh, drop it, I say! That’s enough.”
She knew that she was a fool, but something—or was it
somebody?—drove her on.
“But you said just now that you wanted me to be frank.”
His voice was a cry.
“You’ll drive me mad, Katie. You don’t seem to have any
conception—”
“Very well. I won’t say anything.”
They were quite silent after that: the silence swelled, like
a rising cloud, between them: it became impossible to break
it ... they were at Garth gates, and they had not spoken.
She would have said something, but he turned abruptly off
into the garden. She walked, with her head up, into the
house.
She went up to her room, arranged her Sunday School
books, felt suddenly a grinding, hammering fatigue, as though
she had been walking all day; her knees were trembling and
her throat was dry. She sat by her window, looking down
on to the garden, where the sea mist drove in walls of thin
rain against the horizon. Behind the mist the trees seemed
to peer at her as though they were wondering who she was.
“I don’t care,” she thought, “he shouldn’t have spoken to me
like that.” But how had it happened? At one moment they
had been so close together that no force, no power, would
separate them—a word and they had been so far apart that
they could not see one another’s eyes.
“I don’t care. He shouldn’t—”
She got up, rubbed her cheeks with her hand because they
were burning, and, with a glance at Philip’s photograph
(someone she had known years ago and would never know
again), went out. The house was silent, and she met no one.
As she crossed the lawn she thought: “How absurd! We’ve
quarrelled—a real quarrel”—then—“It wasn’t my fault. He
shouldn’t—” She held her head very high indeed as she
walked down the road to the Bridge, but she saw no one, felt
no rain upon her cheek, was not conscious that she was moving.
At the door of the Schools she saw Mrs. Smart, and
heard someone say quite sensibly and happily:
“We’re early. There won’t be many this afternoon, I
expect.”
“Mrs. Douglas has told me that she won’t be able to come—I
wonder, Katie, whether you’d mind taking—”
“Why, of course.”
Mrs. Smart was little and round and brown like a pippin.
She was always breathless from having more to wrestle with
than she could grasp. She was nervous, too, and short-sighted,
and the one governing motive of her life was to
bear her husband a son. She had now four daughters; she
knew that her husband felt it very deeply. She had once unburdened
herself to Katherine, but, after that, had been shyer
with her than before. Katherine, against her will, had been
often irritated by Mrs. Smart—she had wondered at her
restlessness and incapacity to keep up with the business in
hand, but to-day, out of the sinister gloom of that horrible
afternoon, the little woman seemed to Katie suddenly sympathetic,
eloquent, moving. Katie could hear her voice,
rather husky, rather uncertain, on that afternoon of her confession:
“... and we did really hope that Lucy would be a
boy, we really did. He would have been called Edward.
Harold has such plans for a son—we have often thought
together what we would do ... and now, I’m afraid....”
Inside the schoolroom door Katie paused, looked at the
room with the bare benches arranged in squares, the shining
maps of the world and Europe, the case with beetles and
butterflies, the hideous harmonium.
She suddenly caught Mrs. Smart’s hand and pressed it
through the damp little glove. She knew that Mrs. Smart
would be surprised—she had never been demonstrative to her
before.... She moved to her part of the room, three only
of her class were present, and to these were added two small
boys from another division.
“Now, children,” said Mr. Smart’s cheerful voice (he
always spoke to boys as though he were luring animals into
a cage), “let us start with hymn No. 436, shall we?” After
the hymn, a prayer, and then, for an hour that subdued, restrained
hum which belongs to the Sunday School only; being
religious as well as disciplined, persuasive as well as obedient.
Katherine now was very proud—as she said: “Well, Robin,
and what did Moses do then?” she was thinking—“But he
must come to me—that’s fair. It was not my fault. He
blamed me first for not speaking, and afterwards when I
did speak.... Besides, if it’s all over and finished, why
should he mind?” She looked very young as she sat there,
her mouth hard and set and her eyes full of trouble. Her
sensation was as though she had been suddenly marooned; the
desolation, the terror, the awful loneliness came, as the evening
fell, creeping up towards her. “Suppose he never makes
it up—Suppose he goes away and leaves me.” She caught
her hands tightly together on her lap and her breath suddenly
left her.
“Yes, Johnny. His name was Aaron. That’s right.”
The ordeal was over; she was hurrying back through the
dusk to the lighted house. She went up again to her room,
and sat down again by the window. She listened. The
house was very still, but she thought that, perhaps, he would
guess that she was here, in her bedroom, and would come up.
She wished that her heart would stop beating so that she
might hear the better.
She listened to every sound, to distant voices, to the whimper
of rain upon the window, to the sharp crack of some shutting
door. Her whole mind now was concentrated upon his
coming: her eyes left the window and turned to the door.
She waited....
Quite suddenly, as though someone else had commanded
her, she began to cry. She did not move her hands to her
face, but little dry sobs shook her body. She hated herself
for her weakness, and then that very contempt broke her down
completely, so that with her hands pressed against her face,
desolately and almost, it might seem, ironically, she wept.
Through her crying she heard the door open, and, looking
up, saw her mother there. Mrs. Trenchard closed the door
very carefully. “Why, Katherine!” she said in a whisper,
as though this were a matter simply between the two of
them. “I came to see,” said Mrs. Trenchard, “whether you
weren’t coming in to tea. The Drakes are here.”
It was no use to pretend that she had not been crying.
She rubbed her eyes with her handkerchief, turning her back
for a moment on her mother and gazing down on to the
dark lawn that had all melted now into the rain. Then,
when she had gained her control, she faced the room again.
“It’s nothing, mother. I’ve had a headache. It’s better.
I’ll lie down a little and then come in. Is Agnes Drake
here?”
“Yes. She wants to see you.”
“Well. I’ll come.”
But Mrs. Trenchard did not go away. Her large soft
eyes never left her daughter’s face.
“What’s really the matter, dear?”
“Really—a headache. This weather and then Sunday
School. I felt bad in church this morning.”
“You’ve been unlike yourself, dear, for some days.”
“No, mother—I’ve been just the same.”
“You’ve been unhappy.”
Katherine raised her head proudly and gave back her
mother’s gaze.
“There’s been nothing—nothing at all—”
But Mrs. Trenchard’s eyes never faltered. She suddenly,
with an action that was full of maternal love, but love restrained
by fear of its rejection, love that had tenderness
in its request to be accepted, raised her hands as though
she would take her daughter, and hold her safe and never
let her depart into danger again.
“Katie—” her voice was soft, and she let her hands fall
again. “Give it up, dear. Break the engagement. Let him
go.”
Katherine did not answer, but she raised her head higher
than it had been before, and then, suddenly, as though the
irony of her whole relationship with her mother, with Philip,
with the very world itself, had driven in upon her, she
smiled.
Mrs. Trenchard went on: “You aren’t happy, Katie,
darling. We all notice it. It was so sudden, the engagement.
You couldn’t tell at the time. But now—I’ve never said
anything, have I? You’ve seen that I’ve been perfectly fair,
but you know that I’ve never liked him—I said give it its
chance. But now that he’s been down here, you can judge
how different we all are—it’s plain that it won’t do. Of
course you couldn’t tell at the time. But now—”
“Ah,” Katherine said quietly, “that’s why you asked him
here. I wondered.”
At the sudden hostility in Katherine’s voice Mrs. Trenchard
started. Then, quite timidly, as though she were asking
some great favour, she said:
“You mustn’t be angry with me for that. I only care about
your happiness. I’m older—If I think that you are not going
to be happy I’m worried and distressed of course. What
can he be to me compared with you? And lately you yourself
have been different—different to all of us ... Yes ...
You know that if I thought that he would make you
happy....” Her voice was quickly sharp sounding on a
trembling, quivering note. “Katie—give him up. Give him
up. There’ll be somebody much better. There are all of us.
Give him up, darling. Tell him that you don’t love him as
you thought you did.”
“No, I don’t,” said Katherine, her voice low. “I love
him more than ever I thought I could love anything or anyone.
I love him more every day of my life. Why you—all
of you—” She broke away from her fierceness. She was
gentle, putting her hand against her mother’s cheek, then
bending forward and kissing her.
“You don’t understand, mother. I don’t understand myself,
I think. But it will be all right. I know that it
will.... You must be patient with me. It’s hard for him
as well as for you. But nothing—nothing—can change me.
If I loved him before, I have twice as much reason to love
him now.”
Mrs. Trenchard looked once more at Katherine, as though
she were seeing her for the last time, then, with a little
sigh, she went out, very carefully closing the door behind
her.
Meanwhile, another member of the Trenchard family,
namely Henry, had found this especial Sunday very difficult.
He always hated Sunday because, having very little to do
on ordinary days of the week, he had nothing at all to do
on Sunday. Never, moreover, in all his life before had
the passing of time been so intolerably slow as it had during
these last weeks. The matter with him, quite simply, was
that his imagination, which had been first stirred on that
afternoon of Philip’s appearance, was now as lively and hungry
as a starved beast in a jungle. Henry simply didn’t
know what to do with himself. Miserably uncertain as to
his right conduct in the matter of Philip and Katherine,
speculating now continually about adventures and experiences
in that wider world of which he had had a tiny glimpse,
needing desperately some definite business of preparation for
business that would fill his hours, and having nothing of the
sort, he was left to read old novels, moon about the fields
and roads, quarrel with Millie, gaze forebodingly at Katherine,
scowl at Philip, have some moments of clumsy sentiment
towards his mother, bite his nails and neglect his appearance.
He began to write a novel, a romantic novel with
three men asleep in a dark inn and a woman stealing up the
ricketty stairs with a knife in her hand. That was all that
he saw of the novel. He knew nothing at all about its time
nor place, its continuation nor conclusion. But he heard the
men breathing in their sleep, saw the moonshine on the
stairs, smelt the close, nasty, beery smell of the tap-room
below, saw the high cheek-bones and large nose of the woman
and the gleaming shine of the knife in her hand.
He walked for many miles, to Rafiel, to St. Lowe, to
Dumin Head, inland beyond Rasselas, to Pendennis Woods,
to Polchester, to the further side of Pelynt—and always, as
he walked with his head in the air, his Imagination ran
before him like a leaping, towering flame. The visions before
his soul were great visions, but he could do nothing with
them. He thought that he would go forth and deliver the
world, would love all men, prostitutes, lepers, debauchers
(like Philip); he flung his arms about, tumbled over his
untidy boot laces, saw life as a gorgeous-tinted plain, with
fame and glory awaiting him—then returned to Garth, quarrelled
with Millie, sulked and bit his nails.
This was a hard time for Henry.
He had determined that he would not present himself in
the drawing-room at tea-time, but when half-past four arrived,
the afternoon had already stretched to such ghastly
lengths that something had to be done. He came slipping,
stumbling downstairs, and found Philip, with a waterproof
turned up over his ears and every sign of the challenger of
wild weather, standing in the hall. Henry would have passed
him in silence, but Philip stopped him.
“Look here,” he said, in a low mysterious voice, “will you
do something for me?”
“What?” said Henry, suspiciously.
“I’m going out for a long walk. Shan’t be back until supper.
Give this letter to Katherine, and tell her I want her
to read it before I get back.”
“Why don’t you give it to her yourself? She’s up in her
room.”
“Because I want you to.”
Henry took the letter, and Philip was gone, sending into
the house a little gust of cold wind and rain as he plunged
through the door. Henry looked after him, shook his head as
though the destinies of the world were on his shoulders, put
the letter into his pocket and went into the drawing-room.
The Drake family was calling. There were Mrs. Drake, old
and sharp and weather-beaten, like a sign post on the top
of a hill; her son, Francis Drake, who, unlike his famous
namesake, seemed unable to make up his mind about
anything, was thin and weedy, with staring eyes, and continually
trying to swallow his fist; and little Lettice Drake, aged
seven, fifteen years younger than any other in the family;
her parents had never entirely got over their surprise at her
appearance: she was sharp and bony, like her mother. Mrs.
Trenchard, Aunt Aggie and Millie were entertaining; Great-Aunt
Sarah was seated in state, in black silk and white cap,
and her stern eye was fixed upon Mr. Drake, whose appearance
she did not like. This made Mr. Drake very nervous.
Afternoon-tea on Sunday comes at the very moment when
the day seems most unbearable—Later, at about six o’clock,
Sunday fatigue will happily begin to descend and envelop its
victims, but at half-past four one is only able to remember
that it is a mistake to have so large a meal in the middle of
the day, that Sunday clothes are chill and uncomfortable, and
that all the people in whom one has the least interest in life
will shortly make their appearance.
There is also the prospect of evening service, followed by
cold supper: the earlier hours of the day stretch now behind
one at so vast and unwieldy a length that it seems impossible
that one will ever reach the end of the day alive. Aunt
Aggie felt all this—she also hated the Drakes. She saw that
Henry, moody in a corner by himself, regarded her with a
cynical eye: her tooth, which had been quiet since luncheon,
was throbbing again. She endeavoured to be pleasant to
little Lettice, although she hated children, and she knew
that children knew it.
“Wonderfully she’s grown!” she said, bending down towards
the child, who watched her with cold curiosity. “And
what’s your favourite game now, Lettice? Too old for dolls,
I expect.”
There was no reply.
“Tell Miss Trenchard about your games, dear,” said Mrs.
Drake.
There was no reply.
“You must come and play here one day, dear,” said Aunt
Aggie. “Such a big room as we’ve got upstairs—and lots
of toys. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”
There was no reply.
“She’s shy, I expect,” said Mrs. Drake. “So many children
are.”
Aunt Aggie drew nearer to Lettice.
“You mustn’t be shy with me, dear. I’m so proud of children.
You shall have such a piece of cake in a minute!”
But with a little movement of her bony fingers Lettice
Drake, in a voice of chill detachment, said:
“You’ve got a thpot on your faith,” referring to a little
black mole on Aunt Aggie’s right cheek. The voice was so
chill, the indifference so complete that the failure of Aunt
Aggie’s tactics was obvious to the dullest onlooker. Unfortunately
Henry laughed; he had not intended to laugh: he
did not feel at all in a humorous mood—but he laughed from
nervousness, discomfort and disgust. He knew that Aunt
Aggie would not forgive this ... he hated quarrels with
Aunt Aggie. She did not look at him, but her back told him
what she was thinking. He wished, bitterly, that he had
more self-control; he knew that, of all possible insults, Aunt
Aggie would regard most bitterly a mock at her appearance
in a public place. The Drakes might be considered a public
place.
Mrs. Trenchard said: “Where’s Katie? You’d like to see
her, Agnes, I’m sure. Perhaps she doesn’t know you’re here.
I’ll see. I know you’d like to see her.” Mrs. Trenchard went
away. Then Aunt Sarah, who had been hitherto absolutely
silent, began, her eye never leaving Mrs. Drake’s face.
“You’re the daughter of Aggie Mummings, whom I used
to know. You must be. Poor Aggie ... I remember your
mother quite well—a feeble thing always, never knowing
her mind and always wanted people’s advice. I used to say
to her: ‘Aggie, if you let men see how feeble you are you’ll
never get married’—but she did after all—which shows you
never can tell—I think, Millie, I’ll have some more hot in
this ... yes, I remember your mother very well, poor
thing.”
“I’ve heard her speak of you, Miss Trenchard,” said Mrs.
Drake.
Mr. Drake suddenly attacked Millie.
“Well now—about Paris—you know—very different from
this hole, ain’t it?”
“Very different,” said Millie. “But I don’t consider this
‘a hole’.”
“Don’t you now? Well—that’s very interesting. Don’t
you?... I do.”
Millie had nothing to say.
“It’s slow, you know—horrid slow—just weather, I call it.
Whether it’s raining or not, you know—. Yes ... I wonder
you don’t find it slow after Paris.”
“I was at school there, you see,” said Millie. “It’s different
when you’re at school.”
“I suppose it is. Yes, I s’pose so.” He began to cram
his fist into his mouth, was surprised at its boniness, regarded
it gravely, said: “Well, yes ... I s’pose so ... Yes ...
Well ...” and was silent.
Then Mrs. Trenchard at last returned: Katherine was
with her. Henry at once saw that Katherine had been crying.
The effect of this discovery upon Henry was elemental
in its force. He had, during all his life, regarded Katherine
as almost omnipotent in her strength and wisdom. He
had, moreover, always thought to himself: “One day she
will have her reward,” and his vision of Katherine’s future
happiness and glory had been one of his favourite dreams.
Now that cad had been making her cry.... He was, at
that moment, on the very edge of making a scene ... he
would fling Philip’s letter down there, in front of them,
Drakes and all. He would cry: “There! that’s from the
beast who’s been making her cry—and I tell you he’s a cad.
He had a woman for years in Russia and had a son too—that’s
the kind of fellow he is.” But Katherine was smiling
and laughing. The Drakes certainly would not see that she
had been crying: even Millie did not, apparently, notice it;
Millie, having done her duty by the Drakes, was going upstairs
to write letters. She said good-bye and left the room ...
two minutes later Henry slipped out after her.
He caught her at the top of the stairs.
“I say,” he said. “Come into my room for a minute. I’ve
got something to tell you.”
“Oh, bother,” answered Millie. “I want to write letters.”
“Never mind. You must. It’s important.”
“Aren’t the Drakes awful?” she said, standing inside his
door and observing the disorder of his room with a scornful
lip.
“Yes, they are,” said Henry. “Wasn’t Aunt Aggie angry
when I laughed?”
“A silly sort of thing to do anyway. What a room! You
might put those clothes away, and why can’t you have another
shelf for the books? That table—”
“Oh, rot! Dry up!” Henry moved about uneasily, kicking
a book along the floor. “I’ve got something I want to—I
can’t keep it to myself any longer.”
“What is it? About Philip and Katie?”
“No, not about Katie. At least—not unless he’s told her.
It’s about Philip.”
“What is it?” Millie said again.
“He’s the most awful cad—an absolute outsider. I’ve
known it for weeks, only I haven’t decided what to do.”
“I don’t believe it,” Millie said, slowly. “You don’t know
enough about men to tell whether a man’s an outsider or
not.... What’s he done?”
“In Russia—in Moscow—he had a mistress for years—and
they had a son. He’s never said anything about it, but
it’s true. They say he had an awful reputation in Moscow.”
“Who’s ‘they’?” said Millie, slowly. The colour mounted
into her cheeks.
“A man I know—a friend of Seymour’s. Oh! I know it’s
true. There isn’t any sort of doubt about it.”
“I daresay it is. Men are like that,” Millie said, with
profundity.
“Decent men aren’t. Not the sort of man who will marry
Katie.”
Millie said nothing, and there was a long silence in the
room. Then, with a deep sigh, Millie said:
“If it is true what does it matter if it’s all over?”
“Perhaps it isn’t. Besides, if he’s that kind of man he’ll
do it again. And anyway, if Katie were to know—”
“Ah! if Katie were to know—”
They stood there, young (very young) defenders of Katherine.
They would both of them, always, afterwards remember
that moment, that hour, that Sunday. There came for
both of them, suddenly, an active, urgent demand on their
participation in a sudden adventure, a real, serious adventure,
and they simply did not know what to do with it. With
neither of them was their apprehension, disgust, dismay so
great as their curiosity. The first thing, after the pause, that
Millie said was:
“I wonder what she’s like, that other woman I mean.”
Henry had been wondering for weeks. He now produced
his conclusions.
“It’s my idea,” he said, “that she was simply bored with
him, couldn’t endure him any longer. I expect they had
awful rows—Russians do, you know, and Philip’s got a temper
I should think. Then he came home, and—sort of to save
his pride because the other woman had kicked him out—made
love to the first woman he saw. Katherine was the
first, you know.”
Millie felt a momentary surprise at her brother’s unexpected
cleverness. Then she shook her head: “No, I’m sure
it’s not that. He loves Katherine, I know, anyone can see
it.”
“Well, then,” said Henry, with sudden volcanic happiness,
“he’s making her awfully miserable. She was crying this
afternoon, and I’ve got a letter in my pocket now that he
told me to give to her for her to read while he was out....
They’ve had a quarrel.”
“Perhaps he’s told her.”
“If he’s making her unhappy—”
“I wonder what she thinks about it—”
Henry’s thought, with all the simplicity that was in his
real nature, was only of Katherine. Millie, although she
loved her sister, was absorbed by the vision of life—dramatic,
tragic, gay, sinister, rapturous—that was slowly being unfolded
before her. What she would have liked would have
been for both Philip and Katherine to have told her, minutely
and precisely, how the affair appeared to them. How she
could listen to them if they made her their confidante! Meanwhile
she must content herself with Henry.
“What are you going to do?” she asked.
“Do!... There are things I can do,” he hinted darkly.
“Meanwhile, you just keep your eyes open and see whether
he’s bad to Katherine. If he is we must stop it. That’s all
that matters.”
“I wonder what she was like—that other woman,” Millie
said, not looking at Henry, but at her own reflection in his
looking-glass, then, without another word to him, she turned
and left the room.
After she had gone he wondered whether he’d been wise to
tell her. She had offered no advice, she had not even, he
thought, been immensely interested, she had certainly been, in
no way, shocked.
“Girls are queer” was his final reflection. When the bell
began to ring, with its strange little questioning invitation,
he suddenly thought that he would go to church. He sometimes
found evening service, with its candles and old familiar
tunes and star-lit sky, romantic and moving: to-night he felt
that his restlessness and indecision must be influenced. He
came downstairs, and found Katherine standing and staring
through the little window to the left of the hall door. She
started when she heard his voice, as though she had been lost
in her own company.
“I’ve got a letter for you,” he said, roughly. “From
Philip. He’s gone out for a long walk until supper, and
he said you were to read it before he came back.”
He gave it her. She said nothing. He turned abruptly
away, and faced his mother.
She had on her black Sunday hat and was buttoning her
gloves.
“I’m going to church.”
“Well,” said Mrs. Trenchard, “I think we shall be the only
ones. Unless Katherine’s coming.”
“No, I’m not coming,” said Katherine.
He walked away with his mother, feeling self-conscious
with her, as he always did, but to-night, whether from some
especial sense of gloom, of dripping, wet trees, of wind and
rain, or from some real perception of agitation in his mother,
he felt a strong impulse of protection towards her. He
would have liked to have put his arm through hers, to have
defied the world to harm her, to run and fetch and carry for
her, to help her in any possible way. He had felt this before,
but he had never known how to begin, and he knew that any
demonstration of any kind would embarrass them both terribly.
Mrs. Trenchard said things like:
“Those two shirts of yours, Henry—those last two blue
ones—have shrunk terribly. I’ll never go to that place in
Oxford Street again. They’ve shrunk so dreadfully,” or “If
you think you’d rather have those thicker socks next time you
must tell me.... Do you like them better?”
Henry was always vexed by such questions. He thought
that he should have been managing his own clothes at his
age, and he also could not be bothered to give his mind
seriously to socks.
“I don’t know, mother.”
“But you must care for one or the other.”
“No, I don’t.”
“I think the thick ones are better. They don’t feel quite
so comfortable perhaps.... Ah! there’s the bell stopping.
We shall be late.”
In church, influenced by the flickering candles, the familiar
chants, the sense of a cosy and intimate trust in a Power who
would see one safely through the night, just as one’s burning
night-light had guarded one when one had been very small,
Henry became sentimental and happy. He looked out of the
corner of his eye at his mother, at the so familiar wave of
her hair, the colour and shape of her cheek, the solid comfort
of her figure, and suddenly thought how old she was looking.
This came as a revelation to him: he fancied that even in the
last week there had been a little change. He moved closer to
her: then he saw that her eye was fixed upon a small choir-boy
who had been eating sweets. The eye was stern and so
full of command and assurance that Henry’s sentiment suddenly
shrivelled into nothing. His mother wanted nobody’s
help—he sighed and thought about other things. Soon he
was singing “Abide with me” in his ugly, untuneful voice,
pleased that the choir lingered over it in an abominable fashion,
trying now and then to sing ‘second’, and miserably failing.
But, although he did not know it, Mrs. Trenchard had
realised her son’s mood....
So, at last, tired, a little hysterical, feeling as though heavy
steam rollers had, during the day, passed over their bodies,
they were all assembled for supper. Sunday supper should
be surely a meal very hot and very quickly over: instead it
is, in all really proper English families, very cold and quite
interminable. There were, to-night, seated round the enormous
table Mrs. Trenchard, Aunt Betty, Aunt Aggie, Katherine,
Millie and Henry. George Trenchard and Rachel
Seddon were spending the evening with Timothy Faunder:
Philip had not yet returned from his walk. A tremendous
piece of cold roast beef was in front of Mrs. Trenchard;
in front of Henry were two cold chickens. There was a
salad in a huge glass dish, it looked very cold indeed.
There was a smaller glass dish with beetroot. There
was a large apple-tart, a white blancmange, with little “dobs”
of raspberry jam round the side of the dish. There was a
plate of stiff and unfriendly celery—item a gorgonzola
cheese, item a family of little woolly biscuits, clustered
together for warmth, item a large “bought” cake that had not
been cut yet and was grimly determined that it never should
be, item what was known as “Toasted Water” (a grim family
mixture of no colour and a faded, melancholy taste) in a vast
jug, item, silver, white table-cloth, napkin-rings quite without
end. Everything seemed to shiver as they sat down.
Aunt Aggie, as she saw the blancmange shaking its sides
at her, thought that she would have been wiser to have gone
straight upstairs instead of coming in to supper. She knew
that her tooth would begin again as soon as she saw this
food. She had had a wretched day. Katherine, before luncheon,
had been utterly unsympathetic, Henry at tea-time had
laughed at her.... At any rate, in a minute, there would
be soup. On Sunday evening, in order to give the servants
freedom, they waited upon themselves, but soup was the
one concession to comfort. Aunt Aggie thought she would
have her soup and then go up quietly to bed. One eye was
upon the door, looking for Rocket. Her tooth seemed to
promise her: “If you give me soup I won’t ache.”
“Beef, Aggie—or chicken,” said Mrs. Trenchard. “No
soup to-night, I’m afraid. They’ve all got leave to-night,
even Rocket and Rebekah. There’s a meeting at the Chapel
that seemed important ... yes ... beef or chicken,
Aggie?”
Aunt Aggie, pulling all her self-control together, said:
“Beef, please.” Her tooth, savage at so direct an insult,
leapt upon her.
Aunt Betty, in her pleasant voice, began a story. “I must
say I call it strange. In the ‘Church Times’ for this week
there’s a letter about ‘Church-Kneelers’ by ‘A Vicar’—complaining,
you know ... Well—”
“Beef or chicken, Millie?” said Mrs. Trenchard.
“Chicken, please,” said Millie. “Shall I cut the bread?”
“White, please,” said Henry.
“Well—” went on Aunt Betty. “As I was saying, on
‘Church-Kneelers’ signed by ‘A Vicar’. Well, it’s a very curious
thing, but you remember, Harriet, that nice Mr. Redpath—”
“One moment, Betty, please,” said Mrs. Trenchard.
“Not so much as that, Harry. Simply the leg. Thank
you, dear. Simply the leg. That nice Mr. Redpath—with
the nice wife and so many dear little children—he was curate
to Mr. Williams of St. Clemens for years. Harriet, you’ll
remember—one year all the children had scarlet fever together,
and two of the poor little things died, although I
couldn’t help thinking that really it was rather a mercy—”
“Mustard, please,” said Henry.
“More beef, Aggie?” said Mrs. Trenchard.
“No, thank you,” said Aggie, snapping her teeth upon a
piece of bread. She was thinking: “How selfish they all
are! They can’t see how I’m suffering!”
“Well, that Mr. Redpath—You must remember him, Harriet,
because he had a red moustache and a rather fine white
forehead—when he left Mr. Williams got a living somewhere
in Yorkshire, near York, I think, or was it Scarborough?
Scarborough, because I remember when I wrote to
congratulate him he answered me in such a nice letter, and
said that it would be just the place for the children. You
remember, Katherine, I showed it you.”
“Yes,” said Katherine.
Henry, hearing her voice, looked across at her and then
dropped his eyes upon his plate.
She seemed herself again. Had her letter made her
happy? With a sudden start he realised that Millie also was
watching her....
“Well, it must have been about 1900 that Mr. Redpath
went to Scarborough. I remember it was the year before that
dreadful wet school treat here, when we didn’t know where
to put all the children. I know the year after he went
there poor Mrs. Redpath died and left him with all those
little children—”
Just at that moment Philip came in. He came with
the spray of the sea still wet upon his cheeks, his hair shining
with it. His colour flaming, his eyes on fire. He had been,
in the wind and darkness, down the Rafiel Road to the point
above Tredden Cove where the sea broke inland. Here, deafened
by the wind, blinded by the night, the sea-mist, now
lashing his face, now stroking it softly with gentle fingers,
he had stood on the edge of the world and heard the waters
that are beyond the world exult in their freedom and scorn
for men. He, too, standing there, had had scorn for himself.
He had seen Katherine’s eyes as she turned from him
in the garden, he had seen his own wretched impatience and
temper and selfishness. “By heaven,” he thought, as he
strode back, “I’ll never be so contemptible again. I’ll make
them all trust me and like me. As for Katherine ...” and
so he burst in upon them, without even brushing his hair
first. Also, the only vacant chair was next to Aunt Aggie....
Aunt Betty, who thought that Philip’s entry had been a
little violent and abrupt, felt that she had better cover it with
the continuation of her story.
“And so the next year Mr. Redpath married again—quite
a young woman. I never saw her, but Nelly Hickling knew
her quite well. She always said that she reminded her of
Clara Foster. You know, Harriet, the younger one with
the dark hair and pretty eyes.”
But Philip had looked across at Katherine, her eyes had
met his, and very faintly, as it were secretly, she smiled:
the whirl of that encounter had hidden Aunt Betty’s voice
from him. He did not know that he was interrupting her.
“It was a good walk, and it’s raining like anything. The
sea was coming in over the Cove like thunder.”
No one answered him, and he realised suddenly that all
the food was cold. No matter: he was used to Sunday supper
by this time, and he was of a ferocious hunger. “Lots
of beef, please,” he said, with a laugh.
Aunt Aggie shuddered. Her tooth was in her eye and
her toes at the same moment; Annie had forgotten to call
her, there had been no eggs for breakfast, Katherine at
luncheon had been unsympathetic, at tea, before strangers
(or nearly strangers), Henry had laughed at her, at supper
there had been no soup, Betty, who in the morning had
been idiotic enough to think Mr. Smart’s sermon a good
one, in the evening had been idiotic enough to commence one
of her interminable stories, the day had as usual been dreary
and heavy and slow, and now that terrible young man, whom
she had always hated, must come in, late and dripping,
without even washing his hands, makes no apologies, demands
food as though he were a butcher, smiles upon everyone
with perfect complacency, is not apparently in the least
aware of other people’s feelings—this horrible young man,
who had already made everyone about him miserable and
cross and restless: no, deeply though Aunt Aggie had always
disliked Philip, she had never really hated him until this
evening.
Although he was sitting next to her, he could not possibly
have been more unconscious of her....
“You are interrupting my sister,” she said.
He started and flushed. “Oh! I beg your pardon,” he
stammered.
“No, please, it’s nothing,” said Aunt Betty.
“You were saying something about Mr. Williams, Betty
dear,” said Mrs. Trenchard.
“No, please, it’s nothing,” said Aunt Betty.
There was silence after that. Philip waited, and then,
feeling that something must be done, said: “Well, Henry,
I wish you’d been out with me. You’d have loved it. Why
didn’t you come?”
“I’m sure he was better at church,” said Aunt Aggie. Her
tooth said to her: “Go for him! Go for him! Go for him!”
Philip realised then her hostility. His face hardened.
What a tiresome old woman she was, always cross and restless
and wanting attention! He kept silent. That annoyed
her: he seemed so big and overbearing when he sat so close
to her.
“And I don’t know,” she went on, “whether you are really
the best companion for Henry.”
Everyone looked up then at the bitterness in Aunt Aggie’s
voice; no one heard Mrs. Trenchard say:
“Do have some tart, Henry.”
“What do you mean?” said Philip sharply. His proximity
to her made in some way the anger between them absurd:
they were so close that they could not look at one another.
“Oh, nothing ... nothing....” She closed her lips.
“Please ...” Philip insisted. “Why am I a bad companion
for Henry?”
“Because you make him drink ... disgusting!” she
brought out furiously: when she had spoken her eyes went to
Katherine’s face—then, as she saw Katherine’s eyes fixed on
Philip’s, her face hardened. “Yes. You know it’s true,”
she repeated.
Henry broke in. “What do you say, Aunt Aggie? What
do you mean? Drink—I—what?”
“You know that it’s true, Henry. That night that you
dined with Philip in London—You came back—disgraceful.
Philip had to carry you. You fell on the top of the stairs.
He had to lift you up and carry you into your room. I
watched it all. Well—I didn’t mean to say anything. I’m
sorry, Harriet, if I—perhaps not quite the right time—but
I—I—”
Her voice sank to muttering; her hands shook like leaves
on the table-cloth and her tooth was saying: “Go for him!
Go for him! Go for him!”
And for Philip it was as though, after all these weeks
of waiting, not only the family but the whole place had at
last broken into its definite challenge.
Beyond the room he could feel the garden, the lawn, the
oak, the sea-road, the moor, even Rafiel itself, with its little
square window-pane harbour, crowding up to the window,
listening, crying to him: “You’ve got to be broken! You’ve
got to go or be broken!...” The definite moment had come
at last.
His eyes never left Katherine’s face as he answered:
“It’s perfectly true. I don’t know how it happened, but
we had been having supper quite soberly together, and then
Henry was suddenly drunk. I swear he’d had simply nothing
to drink. He was quite suddenly drunk, all in a moment.
I was never more surprised in my life. I suppose
I should have prevented it, but I swear to you it would
have surprised anyone—really, you would have been surprised,
Mrs. Trenchard.”
Henry, whose face was first flaming, then white, said,
sulkily: “It wasn’t Philip’s fault.... I wasn’t used to it.
Anyway, I don’t see why there need be such a fuss about it.
What Aunt Aggie wants to drag it in now for just when
everyone’s tired after Sunday. It isn’t as though I were
always drunk—just once—everyone’s drunk sometime.”
“I’ve never said anything,” Aunt Aggie began.
“No, that’s just it,” Philip broke in, suddenly flashing
round upon her. “That’s just it. You’ve never said anything
until now. Why haven’t you? Why, all this time,
have you kept it, hugging it to yourself?... That’s what
you’ve all been doing. You never tell me anything. You
never treat me really frankly, but if you’ve got something
you think will do damage you keep it carefully until the best
moment for letting it go off. You’re all as secret with me
as though I were a criminal. You ask me down here, and
then keep me out of everything. I know you dislike me
and think I oughtn’t to marry Katherine—but why can’t you
say so instead of keeping so quiet! You think I shouldn’t
have Katherine—but you can’t stop it, and you know you
can’t.... I’m sorry.” He was conscious of the silence
and many pairs of eyes and of much quivering cold food
and the ticking of a large grandfather’s clock saying: ‘You
are rude. You are rude—You shouldn’t—do it—You
shouldn’t—do it.’
But he was also conscious of a quivering life that ran, like
quicksilver, through the world outside, through all the
streams, woods, paths, into the very heart of the sea. His
eyes were on Mrs. Trenchard’s face.
“I apologise if I’ve been rude, but to-day—a day like this—awful—”
He broke off abruptly, and moved as though he
would get up. It was then that the Dreadful Thing occurred.
He pushed his chair, and it knocked against Aunt Aggie’s,
jolting her. She, conscious that she was responsible for an
abominable scene, conscious that she had lost all that fine
dignity and self-command in which, through her lifetime, she
had seen herself arrayed, conscious of her tooth, of a horrible
Sunday, of many Sundays in front of her equally horrible
(conscious, above all, of some doubt as to whether she were
a fine figure, whether the world would be very different without
her, conscious of the menace of her own cherished personal
allusion), driven forward, moreover, by the individual
experiences that Mrs. Trenchard, Millie, Henry, Katherine
had had that day (because all their experiences were now in
the room, crowding and pressing against their victims), seeing
simply Philip, an abominable intrusion into what had
formerly been a peaceful and honourable life, Philip, now and
always her enemy ... at the impact of his chair against
hers, her tooth said “Go!”
She raised her thin hand and slapped him. Her two rings
cut his cheek.
When the House was finally quiet and dark again, Rebekah
alone was left. Stiff, solemn, slow, she searched the rooms,
tried the doors, fastened the windows, marched with her
candle up the back stairs into the heart of the house.
It had been a dull, uneventful Sunday. Nothing had
occurred.