During the following autumn and winter, Daniel lived a quiet,
lonely life. In the spring, Sylvia von Auffenberg wrote him a
letter, asking him to come over to Siegmundshof and spend a few
weeks with her and Eberhard. He declined, though he promised
to come later.
Old Herold visited him occasionally. He told all about the
friction in the conservatory since Döderlein had been in charge,
and contended that the world was on the point of turning into a
pig-stye.
Herr Seelenfromm also came in from time to time, while
among other visitors were the architect who had a defect in his
speech and Martha Rübsam. Toward the close of the winter Herr
Carovius also called. Socially he had become more nearly possible
than he had been in former years. He still held, however, some
very remarkable views about music.
Whatever any of the visitors said went in one of Daniel’s ears
and out of the other. It would often happen that there would
be a number of people in his presence, and he would seem to be
listening to them; and yet if you watched his face, you could see
that he was completely absent-minded. If some one turned to
him with a question, he would not infrequently smile like a child,
and make no effort whatsoever to respond. No one had ever noticed
him smile this way before.
He returned the money Philippina had loaned him at the time
the piano was pawned. Philippina said: “Oi, oi, Daniel, you seem
to be swimming in money!” She brought him the receipt, and
then took the money to her room, where she did a lot of figuring
to see whether the interest had been accurately calculated.
Little Agnes was sitting on the floor, sucking a stick of candy.
She was always happy when Philippina was around; she was afraid
of her father.
Friends had told him that his apartment was too large now;
he was advised to give it up and take a smaller one. He became
enraged; he said he would never do this voluntarily, for the house
meant a great deal more to him than merely so many rented
rooms; and he insisted that everything be left just as it was.
One day at the beginning of spring he said to Philippina: “I
am going away for a long time. Watch the child, and don’t let
the old man upstairs suffer for anything. I will send you the
money to keep up the house on the first day of each month, and
you will be held responsible for everything that takes place.
Moreover; I want to pay you a set wage: I will give you five talers
a month. There is no reason why you should work for me for
nothing.”
The shaking and shuddering that Daniel had often had occasion
to notice in Philippina returned. She shrugged her shoulders,
looked as mean as only she could, and said: “Save your coppers;
you’ll need ’em; you mustn’t try to act so rich all of a sudden;
it ain’t good for your health. If you have any money to spend,
go out and git Agnes a pair of shoes and a decent dress.” Daniel
made no reply.
Her greediness in money matters had certainly not diminished
since the day she began to pilfer from her parents. She loved
money; she adored the shining metal; she liked to see it and feel
it; she liked to take bank notes in her hands and caress them. It
gave her intense pleasure to think that people looked upon her as
being poor when she was actually carrying more than a thousand
marks around in an old stocking stuffed down in her corset between
her breasts. She loved to hear people complain of hard
times. When a beggar reached out his hand to her on the street,
she felt that he was doing it as an act of homage to her; she would
cause her bosom to heave so that she might feel the presence of
the stocking more keenly. She was pleased to think that one so
young had made herself so secure against future eventualities of
any kind.
She felt, despite all this, like scratching Daniel’s eyes out when
he spoke of paying her regular monthly wages. This she regarded
as base ingratitude. If it were at all possible for grief to
find ineradicable lodgment in her envious, unenlightened, malicious
soul, Daniel’s offer of so much per month made it so.
She ran into the kitchen, and hurled knives and forks in the
sink. She went to old Jordan’s room, knocked on his door, and
made him open it; then she told him with all the anger at her
resourceful command that Daniel was going away. “There is
hardly a cent in the house, and he’s going on a jamboree!” she
exclaimed. “There is some damned wench back of this. Go tell
him, Herr Inspector, go tell him what a dirty thing it is he’s
doing—going away and leaving his child and his old father in the
lurch. Do it, Herr Inspector, and you’ll get potato dumplings,
ginger-bread, and sauce for dinner next Sunday.”
Jordan looked at Philippina timidly. His mouth watered for the
food she had promised him; for she was holding him down to a
near-starvation diet. He was often so hungry that he would sneak
into the delicatessen shop, and buy himself ten pfennigs’ worth of
real food.
“I will make inquiry as to the reason for his going,” murmured
Jordan, “but I hardly believe that I will be able to move him one
way or the other.”
“Well, you go out and take a little walk; git a bit of fresh
air,” commanded Philippina; “I’ve got to straighten up your room.
Your windows need washing; you can’t see through ’em for dirt.”
Late that evening Daniel came up to say good-bye to Jordan.
“Where are you going?” asked the old man.
“I want to see a little of the German Empire,” replied Daniel.
“I have some business to attend to up in the North, in the cities
and also out in the country.”
“Good luck to you,” said Jordan, much oppressed, “good luck
to you, my dear son. How long are you going to be gone?”
“Oh, I don’t know yet; possibly for years.”
“For years?” asked Jordan. He looked at the floor; he tried to
keep his eyes on the floor under his feet: “Then I suppose we
might as well say good-bye forever.”
Daniel shook his head. “It makes no difference when I return,
I will find you here,” he said with a note of strange assurance in
his voice. “When fate has treated a man too harshly, there seems
to come a time when it no longer bothers him; it evades him, in
fact. It seems to me that this is the case with you: you are quite
fateless.”
Jordan made no reply. He opened his eyes as if in fear, and
sighed.
The next morning Daniel left home. He wore a brown hunting
jacket buttoned close up to his neck with hartshorn buttons. Over
this hung a top-coat and a cape. His broad-brimmed hat overshadowed
his face, which looked young, although so serious and distracted
that voices, glances, and sounds of any kind seemed to
rebound from it like swift-running water from a smooth stone wall.
Philippina carried his luggage to the station. Her dress was
literally smothered in garish, gaudy ribbons. The women in the
market-place laughed on seeing her until they got a colic.
When Daniel took leave from her and boarded the train, she
did not open her mouth; she wrinkled her forehead, rubbed the
ends of her fingers against each other, stood perfectly quiet, and
looked at the ground. Long after the train had left the station,
she was still to be seen standing there in that unique position. A
station official went up to her, and, with poorly concealed ridicule
at the rare phenomenon, asked her what she was waiting for.
She turned her back on him, and started off. She came back by
way of St. James’s Place, and talked for a quarter of an hour with
her friend Frau Hadebusch. It was Sunday. Benjamin Dorn was
just coming home from church. Seeing Philippina, he made a
profound bow.
Frau Hadebusch slapped Philippina on the hip, and smiled at
her knowingly.
Herr Francke was no longer living at Frau Hadebusch’s: he was
in jail. He had promised to marry the cook of a certain distinguished
family; but instead of hastening the coming of the happy
day, he had gambled away the savings of his bride-to-be.
Daniel had a letter of introduction to the Prior of the Monastery
at Löhriedt. He was looking for a manuscript that was supposed
to have been written by a contemporary of Orlando di
Lasso, if not by Di Lasso himself.
He remained for over two months, working at his collection.
He found his association with the monks quite agreeable, and they
liked him. One of them, who held him in especially high regard
because of his ability as an organist, gave him to understand that it
was a matter of unaffected regret to him that he could not greet
him, Protestant that he was, with the confidence that a man of his
singular distinction deserved.
“So! I wish I were a Jew,” said Daniel to him, “then you would
have a really unqualified opportunity to see what God can do
without your assistance.”
The monk in question was called Father Leonhard; he was a
short, wiry fellow with black eyes and a dark complexion. He
seemed to have had a great deal of experience with the world, and
to have no little cause for contrition and repentance: there was
nothing conventional about his religious practices; they were, on
the contrary, of almost redundant fervour and renunciation. Daniel
was impressed by the man’s faith, though his soul shuddered
when in his presence: he regarded him as an enemy, a Philistine,
and preferred not to look at him at all.
He lived close by the monastery in the house of a railroad
official. Father Leonhard came in to visit him once. Daniel was
sitting by the window busily engaged in making some corrections.
The Father looked about the room: his eyes fell on a round,
wooden box lying on a chair; it looked like a cake box.
“The people at home have sent you something to nibble at,”
remarked the Father, as Daniel got up.
Daniel riveted his eyes on the monk, took the box, hesitated for
a while, and then opened it. In it, carefully packed in sawdust,
was the mask of Zingarella. It was a part of Daniel’s meagre luggage;
wherever he went it followed him.
Father Leonhard sprang back terrified. “What does that mean?”
he asked.
“It means sin and purification,” said Daniel, holding the mask up
in the light of the setting sun. “It means grief and redemption,
despair and mercy, love and death, chaos and form.”
From that day on, Father Leonhard never said another word to
Daniel Nothafft. And whenever the strange musician chanced to
play the organ, the monk arose as quickly as possible, left the
church, and sought out some place where the tones could not
reach him.
That summer Daniel came to Aix-la-Chapelle and the region of
Liége, Louvain, and Malines. From there he wandered on foot to
Ghent and Bruges.
In places where he had to make investigations, he was obliged
to depend upon the letters he received from his publisher to make
himself understood. Condemned to silence, he lived very much
alone; he was a stranger in a strange land.
He had no interest in sights. It was rare that he looked at old
paintings. The beautiful never caused him to stop unless it actually
blocked his way. He went about as if in between two walls.
He followed his nose, turned around only with the greatest reluctance,
and never felt tired until he was ready to lie down to
sleep.
And even when he was tired the feeling that he was being
robbed of something gnawed at his soul; he was restless even when
he slept. Haste coloured his eye, fashioned his step, and moulded
his deeds. He ate his meals in haste, wrote his letters in haste,
and talked in haste.
It pained him to feel that men were looking at him. Although
he invariably sought out the most deserted corner of whatever inn
he chanced to stop at, and thereby avoided becoming, so far as he
might, the target of the curious, he was nevertheless gaped at,
watched, and studied wherever he went. For everything about
him was conspicuous: the energy of his gestures, the agility of his
mimicry, the way he showed his teeth, and the nervous, hacking
step with which he moved through groups of gossiping people.
He had anticipated with rare pleasure the sight of the sea. He
was prepared to behold the monstrous, titanic, seething, and surging
element, the tempest of the Apocalypse. He was disappointed by
the peaceful rise and fall of the tide, the harmless rolling back
and forth of the waves. He concluded that it were better for one
not to become acquainted with things that had inspired one’s fancy
with reverential awe.
He could quarrel with nature just as he could quarrel with men.
The phases of nature which he regarded as her imperfections excited
his anger. He was fond, however, of a certain spot in the
forest; or he liked a tree in the plain, or sunset along the canal.
He liked best of all the narrow streets of the cities, when the
gentle murmurings of song wafted forth from the open windows,
or when the light from the lamp shone forth from the windows
after they had been closed. He loved to pass by courts and cellars,
gates and fences; when the face of an old man, or that of a young
girl, came suddenly to view, when workmen went home from the
factories, or soldiers from the barracks, or seamen from the harbours,
he saw a story in each of them; he felt as one feels on reading
an exciting book.
One day when he was in Cleve he walked the streets at night
all alone. He noticed a man and a woman and five children, all
poorly dressed, standing near a church. Lying before them on the
pavement were several bundles containing their earthly possessions.
A man came up after a while and addressed them in a stern,
domineering tone; they picked up their bundles and followed him:
it was a mournful procession. They were emigrants; the man had
told them about their ship.
Daniel felt as if a cord in his soul had been made taut and
were vibrating without making a sound. The steps of the eight
people, as they died away in the distance, developed gradually into
a rhythmical, musical movement. What had been confused became
ordered; what had been dark shone forth in light. Weighed down
with heaviness of soul, he went on, his eyes fixed on the ground
as if he were looking for something. He no longer saw, nor
could he hear. Nor did he know what time it was.
After a year and a half of congealed torpidity, the March wind
once more began to blow in his soul.
But it was like a disease; he was being consumed with impatience.
His immediate goal was the cloister of Œsede at Osnabrück, and
from there he wanted to go to Berlin. He could not bear to sit
in the railway carriages: in Wesel he placed his trunk on a freight
train, and went from there on foot, his top-coat hung over his
arm, his knapsack strapped across his back. Despite the inclement
weather he walked from eight to ten hours every day. It was
towards the end of October, the mornings and evenings were
chilly, the roads were muddy, the inns were wretched. This did
not deter him from going on: he walked and walked, sought and
sought, often until late at night, passionately absorbed in himself.
When he came to the coal and iron district, he raised his head
more and more frequently. The houses were black, the earth and
the air were black, blackened men met him on the road. Copper
wires hummed in the fog and mist, hammers clinked, wheels
hummed, chimneys smoked, whistles blew—it was like a dream
vision, like the landscape of an unknown and accursed star.
One evening he left a little inn which he had entered to get
something to eat and drink. It was eight miles to Dortmund, where
he planned to stay over night. He had left the main road, when
all of a sudden the fire from the blast-furnaces leaped up, giving
the mist the appearance of a blood-red sea. Miners were coming
in to the village; in the light of the furnaces their tired, blackened
faces looked like so many demoniac caricatures. Far or near, it
was impossible to say, a horse could be seen drawing a car over
shining rails. On it stood a man flourishing his whip. Beast, man,
and car all seemed to be of colossal size; the “gee” and “haw”
of the driver sounded like the mad cries of a spectre; the iron
sounds from the forges resembled the bellowing of tormented
creatures.
Daniel had found what he had been looking for: he had found
the mournful melody that had driven him away the day Eleanore
died. He had, to be sure, put it on the paper then and there,
but it had remained without consequence: it had been buried in
the grave with Eleanore.
Now it had arisen, and its soul—its consequence—had arisen
with it; it was expanded into a wonderful arch, arranged and
limbed like a body, and filled as the world is full.
Music had been born to him again from the machine, from
the world of machinery.
Jason Philip Schimmelweis had been obliged to give up his
house by the museum bridge. He could not pay the rent; his
business was ruined. By a mere coincident it came about that the
house on the Corn Market had a cheap apartment that was vacant,
and he took it. It was the same house in which he lived when he
made so much money twenty years ago.
Was Jason Philip no longer in touch with modern business
methods? Had he become too old and infirm to make the public
hungry for literary nourishment? Were his advertisements without
allurement, his baits without scent? No one felt inclined to
buy expensive lexicons and editions de luxe on the instalment plan.
The rich old fellows with a nose for dubious reading matter never
came around any more. Jason Philip had become a dilatory
debtor; the publishers no longer gave him books on approval; he
was placed on the black list.
He took to abusing modern writers, contending that it was no
wonder that the writing of books was left exclusively to good-for-nothing
subjects of the Empire, for the whole nation was suffering
from cerebral atrophy.
But his reasoning was of no avail; his business collapse was imminent;
in a jiffy it was a hard reality. A man by the name of
Rindskopf bought his stock and furnishings at brokers’ prices, and
the firm of Jason Philip Schimmelweis had ceased to exist.
In his distress Jason Philip appealed to the Liberal party. He
boasted of his friendship with the former leader of the party,
Baron von Auffenberg, but this only made matters worse: one
renegade was depending upon the support of another. This was
natural: birds of a feather flock together.
Then he went to the Masons, and began to feel around for their
help; he tried to be made a member of one of the better lodges.
He was given to understand that there was some doubt as to the
loyalty of his convictions, with the result that the Masons would
have none of him.
For some time he found actual difficulty in earning his daily
bread. He had resigned his position with the Prudentia Insurance
Company long ago. Ever since a certain interpellation in
the Reichstag and a long lawsuit in which the Prudentia became
involved, and which was decided in favour of its opponents, the
standing of the company had suffered irreparably.
Jason Philip had no other choice: he had to go back to bookbinding;
he had to return to pasting, cutting, and folding. He
returned in the evening of his life, downcast, impoverished, and
embittered, to the position from which he had started as an ambitious,
resourceful, stout-hearted, and self-assured man years ago.
His eloquence had proved of no avail, his cunning had not helped
him, nor his change of political conviction, nor his familiarity
with the favourable turns of the market, nor his speculations. He
had never believed that the order of things in the world about
him was just and righteous, neither as a Socialist nor as a Liberal.
And now he was convinced that it was impossible to write a
motto on the basis of business principles that would be fit material
for a copy book in a kindergarten.
Willibald was still the same efficient clerk. Markus had got a
job in a furniture store, where he spent his leisure hours studying
Volapük, convinced as he was that all the nations of the earth
would soon be using this great fraternal tongue.
Theresa moved into the house on the Corn Market with as much
peace and placidity as if she had been anticipating such a change
for years. There was a bay window in the house, and by this she
sat when her work in the kitchen was done, knitting socks for her
sons. At times she would scratch her grey head with her knitting
needle, at times she would reach over and take a sip of cold,
unsugared coffee, a small pot of which she always kept by her side.
Hers was the most depressed face then known to the human family;
hers were the horniest, wrinkliest peasant hands that formed part
of any citizen of the City of Nuremberg.
She thought without ceasing of all that nice money that had
passed through her hands during the two decades she had stood
behind the counter of the establishment in the Plobenhof Street.
She tried to imagine where all the money had gone, who was
using it now, and who was being tormented by it. For she was
rid of it, and in the bottom of her heart she was glad that she
no longer had it.
One day Jason Philip came rushing from his workshop into her
room. He had a newspaper in his hand; his face was radiant with
joy. “At last, my dear, at last! I have been avenged. Jason
Philip Schimmelweis was after all a good prophet. Well, what
do you say?” he continued, as Theresa looked at him without any
noticeable display of curiosity, “what do you say? I’ll bet you
can’t guess. No, you will never be able to guess what’s happened;
it’s too much for a woman’s brain.” He mounted a chair, held
the paper in his hand as if it were the flag of his country, waved
it, and shouted: “Bismarck is done for! He’s got to go. The
Kaiser hates him! Now let come what may, I have not lived in
vain.”
Jason Philip had the feeling that it was due to his efforts that
the reins of government had been snatched from the hands of
the Iron Chancellor. His satisfaction found expression in blatancy
and in actions that were thoroughly at odds with a man of his age.
He held up his acquaintances on the street, and demanded that they
offer him their congratulations. He went to his favourite café,
and ordered a barrel of beer for the rejuvenation of his friends.
He delivered an oration, spiced with all the forms of sarcasm
known to the art of cheap politics and embellished with innumerable
popular phrases, explaining why he regarded this as the happiest
day of his eventful life.
He said: “If fate were to do me the favour of allowing me to
stand face to face with this menace to public institutions, this
unscrupulous tyrant, I would not, believe me, mince matters in the
slightest: I would tell him things no mortal man has thus far
dared say to him.”
Several months passed by. Bismarck, then staying at his country
place in Sachsenwald and quarrelling with his lot, decided to visit
Munich. There was tremendous excitement in Nuremberg when it
was learned that he would pass through the city at such and such
an hour.
Everybody wanted to see him, young and old, aristocrats and
humble folk. Early in the morning the whole city seemed to be
on its feet, making its way in dense crowds out through the
King’s Gate.
This was a drama in which Jason Philip had to play his part:
without him it would be incomplete. “To look into the eyes of
a tiger whose claws have been chopped off and whose teeth have
been knocked out is a pleasure and a satisfaction that my mother’s
son dare not forego,” said he.
His elbows stood him in good stead. When the train pulled
into the station, our rebel was standing in the front row, having
pushed his way through the seemingly impenetrable mass of
humanity.
The train stopped for a few minutes. The Iron Chancellor
left his carriage amid deafening hurrahs from the assembled multitude.
He shook hands with the Mayor and a few high-ranking
army officers.
Jason Philip never budged. It never occurred to him to shout
his own hurrah. An acidulous smile played around his mouth, his
white beard quivered when he dropped the corners of his lips in
satanic glee. It never occurred to him to take off his hat, despite
the threatening protests all too audible round about him. “I am
consistent, my dear Bismarck, I am incorruptible,” he thought to
himself.
And yet—the satisfaction which we have described as satanic
seemed somehow or other to be ill founded: it was in such marked
contrast to the general enthusiasm. What had possessed this imbecile
pack? Why was it raging? It saw the enemy, the hangman,
right there before it, immune to the law, dressed in civilian
clothes, and yet it was acting as though the Messiah had come to
town on an extra train!
Jason Philip had the feeling that Bismarck was looking straight
at him. He fancied that the fearfully tall man with the unusually
small head and the enormously blue eyes had taken offence at
his silence. He feared some one had told him all about his political
beliefs.
The scornful smile died away. Jason Philip detected a lukewarm
impotency creeping over his body. The sweat of solicitude
trickled down across his forehead. Involuntarily he kneed his way
closer to the edge of the platform, threw out his chest, jerked his
hat from his head, opened his mouth, and cried: “Hurrah!”
He cried hurrah. The Prince turned his face from him, and
looked in another direction.
But Jason Philip had cried hurrah.
He sneaked home shaking with shame. He drew his slippers,
“For the tired Man—Consolation,” on his feet. They had become
quite worn in the course of his tempestuous life. He lay down on
the sofa with his face to the wall, his back to the window and
against the world.
Daniel had been in Berlin for weeks. He had been living a
lonely life on the east side of the gigantic city. One of the
managers of Philander and Sons came to see him. He returned
the call, and in the course of two hours he was surrounded, contrary
to his own will, by a veritable swarm of composers, directors,
virtuosos, and musical critics.
Some had heard of him; to them he appeared to be a remarkable
man. They threw out their nets to catch him, but he slipped
through the meshes. Unprepared, however, as he was for their
schemes, he could not help being caught in time. He had to give
an account of himself, to unveil himself. He found himself under
obligations, interested, and so forth, but in the end they could
not prevail against him: he simply passed through them.
They laughed at his dialect and his rudeness. What drew them
to him was his self-respect; what annoyed them was his secretiveness;
what they found odd about him was the fact that, try as
they might to associate with him, he would disappear entirely
from them for months at a time.
A divorced young woman, a Jewess by the name of Regina
Sussmann, fell in love with him. She recognised in Daniel an
elemental nature. The more he avoided her the more persistent
she became. At times it made him feel good to come once again
into intimate association with a woman, to hear her bright voice,
her step more delicate, her breathing more ardent than that of men.
But he could not trust Regina Sussmann; she seemed to know too
much. There was nothing of the plant-like about her, and without
that characteristic any woman appealed to him as being unformed
and uncultured.
One winter day she came to see him in his barren hall room in
Greifswald Street. She sat down at the piano and began to
improvise. At first it was all like a haze to him. Suddenly he
was struck by her playing. What he heard made a half disagreeable,
half painful impression on him. He seemed to be familiar
with the piece. She was playing motifs from his quartette, his
“Eleanore Quartette” as he had called it. It came out that
Regina Sussmann had been present at the concert given in Leipzig
three years ago when the quartette was performed.
After a painful pause Regina began to ask some questions that
cut him to the very heart. She wanted to know what relation,
if any, the composition bore to actual life. She was trying to lift
the veil from his unknown fate. He thrust her from him. Then
he felt sorry for her: he began to speak, with some hesitation, of
his symphony. There was something bewitching, enchanting in
the woman’s passionate silence and sympathy. He lost himself,
forgot himself, disclosed his heart. He built up the work in words
before her, pictured the seven movements like seven stairs in the
tower of a temple, a glorious promenade in the upper spheres, a
tragic storm with tragically cheerful pauses of memory and meditation,
all accompanied by laughing genii that adorned and crowned
the pillars of the structure of his dreams.
He went to the piano, began playing the melancholy leading
motif and the two subsidiary themes, counterpointed them, ran
into lofty crescendos, introduced variations, modulated and sang at
the same time. The pupils of his eyes became distended until
they shone behind his glasses like seas of green fire. Regina
Sussmann fell on her knees by the piano. It may be that she was
so affected by his playing that she could not act otherwise; and
it may be that she wished thereby to give him visible proof of her
respect and adoration. All of a sudden the woman became repulsive
to him. The unleashed longing of her eyes filled him with
disgust. Her kneeling position appealed to him as a gesture of
mockery and ridicule: a memory had been desecrated. He sprang
to his feet and rushed out of the room, leaving her behind and
quite alone. He never said a word; he merely bit his lips in
anger and left. When he came back home late that night, he
was afraid he might meet her again; but she was not there. Only
a letter lay on the table by the lamp.
She wrote that she had understood him; that she understood he
had been living in the past as if in an impregnable fortress, surrounded
by shadows that were not to be dispelled or disturbed
by the presumption of any living human being. She remarked
that she had neither intention nor desire to encroach upon his
peace of mind, that she was merely concerned for his future, and
was wondering how he would fight down his hunger of body
and soul.
“Shameless wretch,” cried Daniel, “a spy and a woman!”
She remarked, with almost perverse humility, that she had recognised
his greatness, that he was the genius she had been waiting for,
and that her one desire was to serve him. That is, she wished
to serve him at a distance, seeing that he could not endure her
presence. She implored him to grant her this poor privilege, not
merely for his own sake, but for the sake of humanity as well.
Daniel threw the letter in the stove. In the night he woke
up with a burning desire for delicate contact with an untouched
woman. He dreamed of a smile on the face of a seventeen-year-old
girl innocently playing around him—and shuddered at himself
and the thought of himself.
Shortly after this he went to Dresden, where he had some
work to do in the Royal library.
People came to him anxious to place themselves at his service.
Many signs told him that Regina Sussmann was making fervent
propaganda for him.
One day he received a letter from a musical society in Magdeburg,
asking him to give a concert there. He hesitated for a long
while, and then agreed to accede to their wish. Outwardly it
could not be called an unusually successful evening, but his auditors
felt his power. People with the thinnest smattering of music
forgot themselves and became infatuated with his arms and his
eyes. An uncertain, undetermined happiness which he brought to
the hearts of real musicians carried him further along on his
career. For two successive winters he directed concerts in the
provincial towns of North Germany. He was the first to accustom
the people to strictly classical programmes. It is rare that the
first in any enterprise of this kind reaps the gratitude of those
who pay to hear him. Had he not desisted with such Puritanical
severity from feeding the people on popular songs, opera selections,
and favourite melodies, his activity would have been much better
rewarded. As it was, his name was mentioned with respect, but he
passed through the streets unacclaimed.
Regina Sussmann was always on hand when he gave a concert.
He knew it, even if he did not see her. At times he caught sight
of her sitting in the front row. She never approached him.
Articles redolent with adulation appeared in the papers about him:
it was manifest that she had been influential in having them
written. Once he met her on the steps of a hotel. She stopped
and cast her eyes to the ground; she was pale. He passed by her.
Again he was filled with longing to come into intimate contact
with an untouched woman. Was his heart already hungry, as she
had predicted? He bit his lips, and worked throughout the whole
night. He felt that he was being fearfully endangered by the
prosy insipidity of the age and the world he was living in. But
could he not escape the terrors of such without having recourse to
a woman? The shadows receded, enveloped in sorrow, Gertrude
and Eleanore, wrapped in the embrace of sisters.
“Don’t!” they cried. He saw at once that his provincial concerts
were leading him to false goals, enflaming false ambitions,
robbing him of his strength. He no longer found it possible to
endure the sight of brilliantly lighted halls, and the over-dressed
people who came empty and left untransformed. It all seemed
to him like a lie. He desisted; he threw it all overboard just
as the temptation was strongest, just as the Berlin Philharmonic
invited him to give a concert of his own works in its hall.
He had suddenly disappeared. In less than three months his
name had become a saga.
He spent the summer, autumn, and winter of 1893 wandering
around. Now he was in a remote Thuringian village, now in some
town in the Rhön region, now in the mountains of Saxony, now
in a fishing village on the Baltic. Throughout the day he worked
on his manuscripts, in the evening he composed. No one except
the members of the firm of Philander and Sons knew where he
was. He did not dare hide himself from the people who were
sending him the cheque at the end of the month.
He gradually became so unaccustomed to talking that it was
only with difficulty that he could ask a hotel-keeper about the price
of his room. This unrelieved silence chiselled his lips into
ghastly sharpness.
He never heard from his mother or his children. He seemed
to have forgotten that there were human beings living who thought
of him with affection and anxiety.
The only messages he received from the world were letters that
were forwarded to him at intervals of from four to five weeks
by the musical firm in Mayence. These letters were written by
Regina Sussmann, though they were not signed in her name: the
signature at the close of each one was “The Swallow.” She
addressed Daniel by the familiar Du, and not by the more conventional
and polite Sie.
She told him of her life, wrote of the books she had read, the
people she had met, and gave him her views on music. Her
communications became in time indispensable to him; he was
touched by her fidelity; he was pleased that she did not use her
own name. She had a remarkable finesse and power of expression,
and however ungenuine and artificial she may have appealed to
him in personal association, everything she wrote seemed to him
to be natural and convincing. She never expressed a wish that
he do something impossible and never uttered a complaint. On
the other hand, there was a passion of the intelligence about her
that was quite new to him; she was unlike the women he had
known. And there was a fervour and certainty in her appreciation
of his being before which he bowed as at the sound of a
higher voice.
Though he never answered her letters, he looked forward to
receiving them, and became impatient if one were overdue. He
often thought of the swallow when he would step to the window
on a dark night. He thought of her as an all-seeing spirit that
hovered in the air. The swallow—that was fraught with meaning—the
restless, delicate, swift-flying swallow. And in his mind’s
eye he saw the swallow that hovered over Ægydius Place when
Eberhard came to take him up to the room with the withered
flowers.
He wrote to Philippina: “Decorate my graves. Buy two wreaths,
and lay them on the graves.”
“You must mount to the clouds, Daniel, otherwise you are
lost,” was one passage in one of the letters from the Swallow.
Another, much longer, ran: “As soon as you feel one loneliness
creeping over you, you must hasten into another, an unknown one.
If your path seems blocked, you must storm the hedges before
you. If an arm surrounds you, you must tear yourself loose, even
though it cost blood and tears. You must leave men behind and
move above them; you dare not become a citizen; you dare not
allow yourself to be taken up with things that are dear to you;
you must have no companion, neither man nor maid. Time must
hover over you cold and quiet. Let your heart be encased in
bronze, for music is a flame that breaks through and consumes all
there is in the man who created it, except the stuff the gods have
forged about their chosen son.”
Why should the picture of this red-haired Jewess, from whom
Daniel had fled in terror, not have vanished? There was a Muse
such as poets dream of! “Jewess, wonderful Jewess,” thought
Daniel, and this word—Jewess—took on for him a meaning, a
power, and a prophetic flight all its own.
“The work, Daniel Nothafft, the work,” wrote this second Rahel
in another letter, “the rape of Prometheus, when are you going to
lay it at the feet of impoverished humanity? The age is like
wine that tastes of the earth; your work must be the filter. The
age is like an epileptic body convulsed with agonies; your work
must be the healing hand that one lays on the diseased brow.
When will you finally give, O parsimonious mortal? when ripen,
tree? when flood the valley, stream?”
But the tree was in no hurry to cast off the ripened fruit; the
stream found that the way to the sea was long and tortuous; it
had to break through mountains and wash away the rocks. Oh,
those nights of torment when an existing form crashed and fell
to the earth in pieces! Oh, those hundreds of laborious nights in
which there was no sleep, nothing but the excited raging of many
voices! Those grey mornings on which the sun shone on tattered
leaves and a distorted face, a face full of suffering that was always
old and yet new! And those moonlight nights, when some one
moved along singing, not as one sings with joy, but as the heretics
who sat on the martyr benches of the Inquisition! Then there
were the rainy nights, the stormy nights, the nights when it
snowed, and when he chased after the phantom of a melody that
was already half his own, and half an incorporeal thing wandering
around in boundless space under the stars.
Each landscape became a pale vision: bush and grass and flower,
like spun yarn seen in a fever, the people who passed by, and
the clouds fibrillated above the forests were of one and the same
constituency. Nothing was tangible; the palate lost its sense of
taste, the finger its sense of touch. Bad weather was welcome; it
subdued the noises, made men quieter. Cursed be the mill that
clappers, the carpenter who drives the nails, the teamster who calls
to his jaded pair, the laughter of children, the croaking of frogs,
the twittering of birds! An insensate man looks down upon the
scene, one who is deaf and dumb, one who would snatch all clothing
and decorations from the world, to the end that neither colour
nor splendour of any description may divert his eye, one who
mounts to heaven at night to steal the eternal fire, and who burrows
in the graves of the dead by day—an outcast.
In the beginning of spring, he started on the third movement,
an andante with variations. It expressed the gruesome peace that
hovered over Eleanore’s slumbering face one night before her
death. The springs within him were all suddenly dried up; he
could not tell why his hand was paralysed, his fancy immobile.
One evening he returned from a long journey to Arnstein, a
little place in Lower Franconia, where he had then pitched his
tent. He was living in the house of a seamstress, a poor widow,
and as he came into the room he noticed her ten-year-old daughter
standing by the open box in which he had kept the mask of
Zingarella. Out of a perfectly harmless curiosity the child had
removed the lid, and was standing bewitched at the unexpected
sight.
When Daniel’s eyes fell on her, she was frightened; her body
shook with fear; she tried to run away. “No, no, stay!” cried
Daniel. He felt the emaciated body, the timidly quivering figure,
and a distant memory sunk its claws deep into his breast. The
mouth of the mask seemed to speak; the cheeks and forehead shone
with a brilliant whiteness. And as he turned his eyes away there
was a little elf dancing over him; and this little elf aroused a
guilty unrest in his heart.
Philippina would not permit little Agnes to play with other
children.
One day the child went out on to the square, and stood and
watched some other children playing a game known as “Tailor,
lend me the scissors.” She was much pleased at the sight of them,
as they ran from tree to tree and laughed. She would have been
only too happy to join them, but no one thought of asking the
pale, shy little creature to take part. Philippina, seeing her, rushed
out like a fury, and cried in her very meanest voice: “You come
back here in the house, or I’ll maul you until your teeth will
rattle in your mouth for three days to come!”
Philippina also disliked to have Jordan pay any attention to
Agnes. If he did not notice that he was making her angry by
talking with the child, she would begin to sing, first gently, and
then more and more loudly. If this did not drive the old man
away, she would unload some terrific abuse on him, and keep at
it until he would get up, sigh, and leave. He did not dare
antagonise her, for if he did, she would penalise him by giving
him poor food and reduced portions. And he suffered greatly
from hunger. He was making only a few pennies a week, and had
to save every bit of it, if possible, so as to defray the expenses
he was incurring while working on his invention.
He had unbounded faith in his invention; his credulity became
stronger and stronger as the months rolled by. He could not be
discouraged by seeming failure. He was convinced, on the contrary,
that each failure merely brought him so much nearer the
desired goal.
He said to Philippina: “Why is it that you object to my playing
once in a while with my little grand-daughter? It gives me so
much pleasure; it diverts me; it takes my mind off of my troubles.”
“Crazy nonsense,” replied Philippina. “Agnes has had trouble
enough with her father. Her grandfather? whew! That beats me!”
Another time the old man said: “Suppose we make an agreement:
let me have the child a half-hour each day, and in return
for that I’ll run your errands down town.”
Philippina: “I’ll run my own errands. Agnes belongs to me.
That settles it.”
And yet Philippina was in an especially good humour about
this time. Benjamin Dorn, like Herr Zittel, had left the Prudentia,
and obtained a position with the Excelsior. He was taking
unusual interest in Philippina. In a dark hour, Philippina had
told her friend, Frau Hadebusch, that she had saved a good deal
of money, and, equipped with this bit of earthly wisdom, Frau
Hadebusch had gone to the Methodist, told him all about it, and
put very serious matrimonial ideas in his head.
Benjamin Dorn took infinite pains to gain Philippina’s good
graces. He was, to be sure, somewhat dismayed at having her
blasphemous system of theology dinned into his ears. He shook
his head wearily when she called him a sky-pilot and declared
right out that all this sanctimonious stuff was damned rot, and that
the main thing was to have a fat wallet. In this philosophy Frau
Hadebusch was with her to the last exclamation point. She had
told Benjamin Dorn that a doughtier, bonnier, more capable
person than Fräulein Schimmelweis was not to be found on this
earth, and that the two were as much made for each other as oil
and vinegar for a salad. She said: “You simply ought to see the
dresses the girl has and how she can fix herself up when she wants
to go out. Moreover, she comes of a good family. In short,
any man who could get her would be a subject for real congratulations.”
To Philippina Frau Hadebusch said: “Dorn—he can write as
no one else on this earth. Oh, you ought to see him swing a pen!
He limps a little, but what of it? Just think how many people
go around on two sound legs, but have their heads all full of
rubbish! But Dorn! He’s whole cloth and a yard wide! He’s
as soft as prune juice. Why, when a dog barks at him, he gives
the beast a lump of sugar. That’s the kind of a man he is.”
In October Benjamin Dorn and Philippina went to the church
fair, and naturally took Agnes along. Benjamin Dorn knew what
was expected of him. He had Philippina take two rides on the
merry-go-round, paid her way into the cabinet of wax figures, and
took a chance on the lottery. It was a blank. He then explained
to Philippina that it was immoral to have anything to do with
lotteries, and bought her a bag of ginger snaps; and that was solid
pleasure.
Philippina acted very nicely. She laughed when nothing amusing
had taken place, rolled her eyes, spoke with puckered lips,
shook her hips when she walked, and never lost a chance to show
her learning. As they were coming home on the train, she said
she felt she would like to ride in a chaise, but there would have
to be two horses and a coachman with a tile hat. Benjamin Dorn
replied that that was not an impossible wish, suggesting at the same
time in his best brand of juvenile roguishness that there was a
certain solemn ceremony that he would not think of celebrating
without having a vehicle such as she had described. Philippina
giggled, and said: “Oi, oi, you’re all right.” Whereupon Benjamin
Dorn, grinning with embarrassment, looked down.
Then they took leave of each other, for Agnes had fallen asleep
in Philippina’s arms.
How Philippina actually felt about the attention he was showing
her would be extremely difficult to tell, though she acted as
if she felt honoured and flattered. Benjamin Dorn was by no
means certain of himself. Frau Hadebusch did all she could to
bring Philippina around, but every time she made a fresh onslaught
Philippina put her off.
But Philippina had never sung as she had been singing recently,
nor had she ever been so light and nimble of foot. Every day
she put on her Sunday dress and trimmed it with her choicest
ribbons. She washed her hands with almond soap, and combed
her hair before the mirror. Bangs had gone out of fashion, so
she built her hair up into a tower and looked like a Chinese.
She visited Herr Carovius occasionally, and always found him
alone, for Dorothea Döderlein had been sent by her father to
Munich to perfect herself in her art. In broken words, with
blinking eyes, from a grinning mouth and out of a dumb soul, she
told Herr Carovius all about her affair with Benjamin Dorn, evidently
believing that he was all fire and flame to know how she
was getting along and what she had in petto. Herr Carovius had
long since grown sick and tired of her, though he did not show
her the door. He had reached the point where he heaved a sigh
of relief when he heard a human voice, where he began to dread
the stillness that ruled supreme within his four walls. No one
came to see him, no one spoke to him, and he in turn no longer
had the courage to speak to any one. His arrogance of former
days had died a difficult death, and now he saw no way of making
friends. If he went to the café, there was no one there whom
he knew. The brethren of the Vale of Tears had been scattered
to the four corners of the earth; a new generation was having its
fling; new customs were being introduced, new topics discussed,
and he was old.
He found it hard to get along without Dorothea. He counted
the days, waiting for her to return. He never opened the piano,
because all music, and especially the music he loved, caused a
melancholy depression to arise that filled the room with miasma.
The Nero of our day was suffering from Cæsar sadness. The
private citizen had sunk to the very bottom of the ditch which
he himself had dug with the idea of burying all that was new
and joyful, and all winged creatures in it.
The worst of it all was that he had nothing to do, and no
brain racking could devise a position he could fill. The world
went on its way, progress was made, and, strangely enough, it was
made without his criticism, his adulation, his opinions, or his crepe-hanging.
Philippina was annoyed at the grudging squints cast at her by
the old stay-at-home; her visits became rarer and rarer. She did
not feel like opening her heart to Frau Hadebusch, for she did
not appeal to her as a disinterested party. This completed her list
of friends; she was obliged to restrain her impatience and excitement.
It was Christmas. On Christmas Eve they had bought a tree
for Agnes, trimmed it, and lighted it with candles. Agnes’s
Christmas gifts were placed under the tree: a big piece of ginger-bread,
a basket with apples and nuts, and a cheap doll. For Old
Jordan she had bought a pair of boots which he badly needed. He
had been going around on his uppers since autumn.
Jordan was sitting by the door holding his boots on his knees.
Agnes looked at the doll with unhappy eyes; she did not dare
touch it. After gazing for a while into the light of the fluttering
candles, Jordan said: “I thank you, Philippina, I thank you. You
are a real benefactress. I also thank you for remembering the
child. It is a paltry makeshift you have bought there at the
bazaar, but any one who gives gifts to children deserves the reward
of Heaven, and in such giving we do not weigh the value or count
the cost.”
“Don’t whine all the time so!” shrieked Philippina. She was
chewing her finger nails, hardly able to conceal her embarrassment.
Frau Hadebusch had told her that Benjamin Dorn was coming
around that evening to make a formal proposal of marriage.
“Just wait, Agnes, just wait!” continued old Jordan, “you’ll
soon get to see a wonder of a doll. A few short years, and the
world will be astonished. You are going to be the first to see it
when it is finished. You’ll be the first, little Agnes, just wait.
What have we got to eat on this holy evening?” asked Jordan,
turning with fear and trembling to Philippina.
“Cold hash and broiled meal-beetles,” said Philippina scornfully.
“And ... and ... no letter from Daniel?” he asked in a
sad voice, “nothing, nothing at all?”
Philippina shrugged her shoulders. The old man got up and
tottered to his room.
A little later Philippina heard some one stumbling around in
the hall, and then the bell rang. “Open the door,” she said to
Agnes, who did as she was told and returned with Benjamin Dorn.
The Methodist wore a black suit, and in his hand he had a black
felt hat that was as flat as a pancake. He bowed to Philippina,
and asked if he was disturbing any one. Philippina pushed a chair
over to him. He sat down quite circumstantially, and laughed a
hollow laugh. As Philippina was as silent as the tomb and looked
at him so tensely, he began to speak.
First he expatiated on the general advantages of a married life,
and then remarked that what he personally wished first of all was
to be able to take a good, true woman into his own life as his
wife. He said that he had gone through a long struggle over the
matter, but God had finally shown him the light and pointed the
way. He no longer hesitated, after this illumination from above,
to offer Fräulein Schimmelweis his heart and his hand forever
and a day, insist though he must that she give the matter due
consideration, in the proper Christian spirit, before taking the
all-important step.
Philippina was restless; she rocked back and forth, first on one
foot and then on another—and then burst out laughing. She
bent over and laughed violently. “No, you poor simpleton, what
you want is my money, hey? Be honest! Out with it! You
want my money, don’t you?”
Her anger grew as Benjamin Dorn sat and looked on, his asinine
embarrassment increasing with each second of silence. “Listen!
You’d like to git your fingers on it, wouldn’t you? Money—it
would taste good, wouldn’t it? You think I’m crazy? Scrape a
few coppers together and lose my mind and marry some poor fool,
and let him loaf around and live on me. Nothing doin’! They
ain’t no man livin’ what can catch Philippina Schimmelweis so
easy as all that. She knows a thing or two about men, she does.
D’ye hear me! Get out!” She sawed the air with her arms like
a mad woman, and showed him the door.
Benjamin Dorn rose to his feet, stuttered something unintelligible,
moved backwards toward the door, reached it, and left the
place with such pronounced speed that Philippina once again broke
out in a shrill, piercing laughter. “Come here, Agnes,” she said,
sat down on the step in the corner, and took the child on her lap.
She was silent for a long while; the child was afraid to speak.
Both looked at the lights on the Christmas tree. “Let us sing
something,” said Philippina. She began with a hoarse, bass voice,
“Stille Nacht, heilige Nacht,” and Agnes joined in with her high,
spiritless notes.
Another pause followed after they had finished singing.
“Where is my father?” asked Agnes suddenly, without looking
at Philippina. It sounded as if she had waited for years for an
opportunity to ask this question.
Philippina’s face turned ashen pale; she gritted her teeth.
“Your father, he’s loafing around somewhere in the country,”
replied Philippina, and blew out one of the candles that had
burned down and was ready to set the twig on fire. “He’s done
with women, it seems, but you can’t tell. He strums the music
box and smears good white paper full of crow-feet and pot-hooks.
A person can rot, and little does he worry.” Whereat she set the
child on the floor, hastened over to the window, opened it, and
put her head out as if she were on the point of choking with
the heat.
She leaned out over the snow-covered window sill.
“I’m getting cold,” said Agnes; but Philippina never heard her.
Daniel wrote to Eberhard and Sylvia asking them if he might
visit them. He thought: “There are friends; perhaps I need
friends again.”
He received a note in a strange, secretarial hand informing him
that the Baroness was indeed very sorry but she could not receive
him at Siegmundshof: she was in child-bed. She sent her best
greetings, and told him that the newest born was getting along
splendidly, as well as his brother who was now three years old.
“Everywhere I turn, children are growing up,” thought Daniel,
and packed his trunk and started south as slowly as he could go,
so slowly indeed that it seemed as if he were approaching a goal
he was afraid to reach and yet had to.
He arrived in Nuremberg one evening in April. As he entered
the room, Philippina struck her hands together with a loud bang,
and stood as if rooted to the floor.
Agnes looked at her father shyly. She had grown slim and
tall far beyond her age.
Old Jordan came down. “You don’t look well, Daniel,” he said,
and seemed never to let go of his hand. “Let us hope that you
are going to stay home now.”
“I don’t know,” replied Daniel, staring absent-mindedly around
the walls. “I don’t know.”
On the third day he was seized with a quite unusual sense of
fear and anxiety. He felt that he had made a mistake; that he
had lost his way; that something was driving him to another place.
He went into the kitchen. Philippina was cooking potato noodles
in lard; they smelt good.
“I am going to Eschenbach,” he said, to his own astonishment,
for the decision to do so had come with the assertion.
Philippina jerked the pan from the stove; the flames leaped up.
“You can go to Hell, so far as I’m concerned,” she said in a furious
rage. With the light from the fire flaring up through the open
top of the stove and reflected in her face, she looked like a veritable
witch.
Daniel gazed at her questioningly. “What is the matter with
Agnes?” he asked after a while. “The child seems to try to
avoid me.”
“You’ll find out what’s the matter with her,” said Philippina
spitefully, and placed the pan on the stove again. “She don’t
swallow people whole.”
Daniel left the kitchen.
“He is going over to see his bastard, the damned scoundrel,”
murmured Philippina. She crouched down on the kitchen stool,
and gazed into space.
The potato noodles burned up.
Daniel entered his mother’s little house in Eschenbach late at
night. As soon as he saw her, he knew that some misfortune had
taken place.
Eva was gone. She had disappeared one evening four weeks
ago. A troupe of rope dancers had given an exhibition in the
city, and it was generally suspected that they had abducted the
child. The people of Eschenbach were still convinced of their
suspicion after the police had rounded up the dancers without
finding a trace of the child.
A general alarm had been sent out, and investigations were being
made even at the time of Daniel’s arrival. But they were in vain;
it was impossible to find the slightest clue. To the authorities,
indeed to every one, the case was a hopeless riddle.
They made a thorough search of the forests; the canals were
drained; vagabonds were cross-questioned. It was all in vain; Eva
had apparently been spirited away in some mysterious fashion.
Then the Mayor received an anonymous letter that read as follows:
“The child you are looking for is in safe keeping. She was not
forced to do what she has done; of her own free will and out of
love for her art she went off with the people with whom she is
at present. She sends her grandmother the tenderest of greetings,
and hopes to see her some time again, after she has attained to
what she now has in mind.”
To this Eva had added in a handwriting which Marian Nothafft
could be reasonably certain was her own: “This is true. Good-bye,
grandmother!”
The people who mourned with Marian the loss of the child
were convinced that if Eva had really written these words herself,
she had been forced to do it by the kidnappers.
The letter bore the postmark of a city in the Rhenish Palatinate.
A telegram brought the reply that a company of jugglers had
been there a short while ago, but that they had already gone. It
was impossible to say in what direction, but it was most likely
that they had gone to France.
Marian was completely broken up. She no longer had any
interest in life. She did not even manifest joy or pleasure at
seeing Daniel.
Daniel in turn felt that the brightest star had fallen from his
heaven. As soon as he had really grasped the full meaning of the
tragedy, he went quietly into the attic room, threw himself across
the bed of his lost daughter, and wept. “Man, man, are you
weeping at last?” a voice seemed to call out to him.
Of evenings he would sit with his mother, and they would both
brood over the loss. Once Marian began to speak; she talked
of Eva. She had always been made uneasy by the child’s love for
mimicry and shows of any kind. Long ago, she said, when Eva was
only eight years old, a company of comedians had come to the
village, and Eva had taken a passionate interest in them. She
would run around the tent in which they played, from early in
the morning until late in the evening. She had made the acquaintance
of some of them at the time, and one of them took her along
to a performance. Whenever the circus came to town, it was impossible
to keep her in the house. “At times I thought to myself,
there must be gipsy blood in her veins,” said Marian sadly, “but
she was such a good and obedient child.”
Another time she told the following story. One Sunday in
spring she took a walk with Eva. It had grown late, night had
come on, and on the return journey they had to go through the
forest. Marian became tired, and sat down on the stump of a
tree to rest. The moon was shining, and there was a clearing in
the forest where they had stopped. All of a sudden Eva sprang up
and began to dance. “It was marvellous the way she danced,” said
Marian, at the close of her story. “The girl’s slender, delicate
little figure seemed to glide around on the moss in the moonlight
of its own accord. It was marvellous, but my heart grew heavy,
and I thought to myself at the time, she is not going to be with me
much longer.”
Daniel was silent. “Oh, enchanting and enchanted creature!”
he thought, “heredity and destiny!”
He remained with his mother for three weeks. Then he began
to feel cramped and uneasy. The house and the town both seemed
so small to him. He left and went to Vienna, where the custodian
of the Imperial Institute had some invaluable manuscripts for
him.
Six weeks later he received a letter that had followed him all
over south Europe informing him of the death of his mother.
The school teacher at Eschenbach had written the letter, saying,
among other things, that the aged woman had died during the
night, suddenly and peacefully.
A second letter followed, requesting him to state what disposition
should be made of his mother’s property. He was asked
whether the house was to be put on the market. A neighbour, the
green-grocer, had expressed his willingness to look after Daniel’s
interests.
Daniel wrote in reply that they should do whatever seemed best.
There was a heavy mortgage on the house, and the amount that
could reasonably be asked for it was not large.
He retired to a desolate and waste place.
While living in little towns and villages on the Danube, Daniel
completed the third movement of the Promethean symphony.
When he awoke as if from a delirious fever, it was autumn.
One morning in October he heard a saint playing the organ. It
was in the Church of St. Florian near Enns. The great artist
had lived in former years in the monastery, and now had the habit
of coming back once in a while to hold communion with his God.
In his rapture, Daniel felt as if his own crowned brother were at
the organ. He sat in a corner and listened, meekly and with overwhelming
delight. Then when a man passed by him, a stooped,
haggard, odd-looking old fellow with a wrinkled face and dressed
in shabby clothes, he was terror-stricken at the reality, the corporeality
of genius: he wondered whether he himself were not a
ghost.
The Swallow wrote: “There is only one who can redeem us:
the musician. The day of founders of religion, builders of states,
military heroes, and discoverers is gone. The poets have only
words, and our ears have grown tired of words, words, words. They
have only pictures and figures, and our eyes are tired beholding.
The soul’s last consolation is to be found in music; of this I am
certain. If there is any one thing that can make restitution for
the lost illusions of religious faith, provide us with wings, transform
us, and save us from the abyss to which we are rushing with
savage senses, it is music. Where are you, O redeemer? You are
wandering about over the earth, the poorest, the most abandoned,
the guiltiest of men. When are you going to pay your debts,
Daniel Nothafft?”
Daniel spent seven months in Ravenna, Ferrara, Florence, and
Pisa. He was looking for some manuscripts by Frescobaldi,
Borghesi, and Ercole Pasquini. Having found the most important
ones he could regard his collection as complete.
Men seemed to him like puppets, landscapes like paintings on
glass. He longed for forests; his dreams became disordered.
From Genoa he wandered on foot through Lombardy and across
the Alps. He slept on hard beds in order to keep his hot blood
in check, and lived on bread and cheese. His attacks of weakness,
sometimes of complete exhaustion, did not worry him at first; he
paid no attention to them. But in Augsburg he swooned, falling
headlong on the street. He was taken to a hospital, where he lay
for three months with typhus. From his window he could see
the tall chimneys of factories and an endless procession of wandering
clouds. It had become winter; the ground was covered with
snow.
Two years after his last visit he again entered the house on
Ægydius Place. When Philippina saw him, so pale and emaciated,
she uttered a cry of horror.
Agnes had grown still taller, thinner, and more serious. At
times when she looked at her father he felt like crying out to
her in anger: “What do you mean by your everlasting questions?”
But he never said a word of this kind to her.
When Philippina saw that Daniel had returned as lonesome and
uncommunicative as he was when he went away, she took it upon
herself to display a great deal of gentleness, kindness, sympathy
in his presence. Old Jordan was living the same life he had been
living for years. Everything in fact was just the same; it seemed
that the household was run according to a prescribed routine. It
seemed as if Daniel had been away, not six years, but six days.
He did not feel strong yet, but he worked day and night. The
fourth movement of the symphony gave promise of being a miracle
of polyphony. Daniel felt primeval existence, the original of all
longing, the basic grief of the world urging and pulsing in him,
and this he was translating into the symphony. The eternal
wanderer had arrived at the gates of Heaven and was not admitted.
Supernal harmonies had borne him aloft. Muffled drum beats
symbolised his beseeching raps on closed doors. Within resounded
the terrible “no” of the trumpets. The pleading of the violins
was in vain; in vain the intercession of the one angel standing at
the right, leaning on a harp without strings; in vain the melodious
chants of the other angel at the left, crowned with flowers and
all together lovely; in vain the elfin chorus of the upper voices,
in vain the foaming lament of the voices below. No path here
for him, and no space!
One evening Daniel noticed a strange girl at his window. She
was beautiful. Struck by her charms, he got up to go to her. She
had vanished. It was an hallucination. He became afraid of himself,
left the house, and wandered through the streets as in days
of long ago.
It was Carnival Week, and the people had resumed their wonted
gaiety. Masked boys and girls paraded the streets, making merry
wherever they went.
As Daniel was passing through The Füll he was startled: the
windows in the Benda house were lighted. He suddenly recalled
that Herr Seelenfromm had told him that Frau Benda had returned
from Worms some time ago, and was living with her niece; she
had become totally blind.
He went up the steps and rang the bell. A grey-haired, distressed-looking
woman came to the door. He thought she must
be the niece. He told her his name; she said she had heard
of him.
“You probably know that Friedrich has disappeared,” she said
in a sleepy, sing-song voice. “It is eight years since we have heard
from him. The last letter was from the interior of Africa. We
have given up all hope. Not even the newspapers say anything
more about him.”
“I have read nothing about it,” murmured Daniel. “But
Friedrich cannot be dead,” he continued, shaking his head, “I will
never believe it, never.” Partly in distraction and partly in anxiety,
he riveted his eyes on the woman, who stared at his glasses as if held
by a charm.
“We have done everything that was humanly possible,” she said.
“We have written to the consulates, we have inquired of the military
outposts and missionary stations, and all to no purpose.” After
a pause she said with a little more vivacity: “You do not wish me
to ask you in, I hope. It is so painful to my aunt to hear a strange
voice, and I cannot think of letting you talk to her. If I did, it
would merely open her old wounds, and she has a hard enough
time of it as it is.”
Daniel nodded and went on his way. A coarse laugh could be
heard down in the entrance hall; it was painfully out of harmony
with the depressed atmosphere of the Benda apartment. He felt
his heart grow faint; he felt a burning desire for something,
though he was unable to say precisely what, something sweet and
radiant.
On the last landing he stopped, and looked with utter amazement
into the hall below.
Herr Carovius was dancing like a Merry-Andrew around the
door of his residence. He had a crown of silver paper on his head,
and was trying to ward off the importunate advances of a young
girl. His smiles were tender but senile. The girl wore a carnival
costume. Her dark blue velvet dress, covered with threads of
silver, made her robust figure look slenderer than it actually was.
A black veil-like cloth hung from her shoulders to the ground, and
then draped along behind her for about three paces. It was sprinkled
with glittering tinsel. In her hand she held a hideous wax
mask of the face of an old sot with a red nose. She was trying to
fit the mask to Herr Carovius’s face.
She was working hard to make him yield; she said she was not
going to leave until she had put the mask on his face. Herr
Carovius shook the door, which in the meantime had closed,
fumbled about in his pockets for the key, but the girl gave him
no peace.
“Come now, Teddy,” she kept crying, “come, Uncle, don’t be
such an old bore.” She kept getting closer and closer to him.
“You wait, I’ll show you how to make a fool of respectable
people,” croaked Herr Carovius in well-meaning anger. He
resembled an old dog, hopping about and getting ready to make
the plunge when his master throws his walking stick into the
water. In his zeal, however, to prevent the girl from offending
his dignity, he had forgotten the paper crown on his head. It
wabbled and shook so when he hopped around, that the girl nearly
split her sides laughing.
A maid came in just then with an apronful of snow. The girl
with the sweeping train ran up to her, got some of the snow, and
threatened to pelt Herr Carovius with it. He begged for mercy;
and rather than undergo a bombardment with this cold stuff, he
ceased offering resistance, whereupon the girl walked up to him
and placed the mask on his face. Then, exhausted from laughter,
she laid her head on his shoulder. The maid—it was Döderlein’s
maid—was delighted at the comedy, and made a noise that resembled
the cackling of a hen.
The scene was dimly lighted by a lamp attached to the adjacent
wall, and had on this account, quite apart from the sight of Herr
Carovius with the paper crown and the toper’s mask, something
fantastic about it.
Daniel did not know that the girl was Dorothea Döderlein,
though he half suspected as much. But whoever she was, he was
impressed by her jollity, her actual lust for laughter, her complete
lack of restraint. He had never known that sort of mirthful
hilarity; and if he had known it, he could not recall it. Her
youthful features, her bright eyes, her white teeth, her agile gestures
filled him with deferential respect; his eyes swam with
emotion. He felt so old, so foreign; he felt that where he was
the sun was not shining, the flowers were not budding. He felt
that life had appeared to him all of a sudden and quite unexpectedly
in a new, kindly, bewitching light.
He came slowly down the steps.
“Is it possible!” cried Herr Carovius, tearing the mask from his
face. “Can I trust my own eyes? It is our maestro! Or is it
his ghost?”
“It is both he and his ghost,” replied Daniel drily.
“This is no place for ghosts,” cried Dorothea, and threw a
snow ball, hitting him square on the shoulder.
Daniel looked at her; she blushed, and looked at Herr Carovius
questioningly. “Don’t you know our Daniel Nothafft, you little
ignoramus?” said Herr Carovius. “You know nothing of our
coryphæus? Hail to the Master! Welcome home! He is here,
covered with fame!”
At any other time Herr Carovius’s biliary sarcasm would have
aroused Daniel’s whole stock-in-trade of aversion and indignation.
To-day he was unimpressed by it. “How young she is,” he thought,
as he feasted his eyes on the embarrassed, laughing Dorothea, “how
gloriously young!”
Dorothea was angry because she did not have on the red dress
she had had made in Munich.
“Dorothea!” called a strong voice from the first floor.
“Oh, there’s father!” whispered Dorothea. She was frightened.
She ran up the steps on her tiptoes, dragging her long veil after
her. The maid followed her.
“A devil, a regular little devil, Maestro,” said Herr Carovius
turning to Daniel. “You must come in some time and hear how
she can draw the bow. She’s a regular little devil, I say.”
Daniel bade Herr Carovius adieu, and went walking down the
street with bowed head.
In the province, Dorothea Döderlein, fresh from the Bavarian
capital, was a phenomenon that attracted general attention. Her
conduct seemed, to be sure, a bit liberal, but then she was an
artist, and her name appeared in the newspapers every now and
then, so it was only natural to make allowances for her. When
she gave her first concert, Adler Hall was almost completely
sold out.
The musical critic of the Herold was captivated by her capricious
playing. He called her an extraordinary talent, and predicted a
brilliant future for her. Andreas Döderlein accepted the congratulations
in the spirit of a seasoned patron of the arts; Herr
Carovius was in the seventh heaven of joy. He who had formerly
been so captious never uttered a critical word. He had taken to
worshipping the Dorothea cult, and this had made him quite
indiscriminating.
At first Dorothea never suffered from want of invitations to all
manner of clubs, dances, and family gatherings. She was much
adored by the young men, so much so that other daughters of the
city of matrimonial age could not sleep from envy. In a short
while, however, the youth of more sterling character, warned
while there was yet time by their mothers, sisters, cousins, and
aunts, withdrew in fear.
Dorothea reaped the disapproval of her acquaintances by walking
with her admirers in public, unchaperoned. Moreover she
could frequently be seen in the company of officers in the Eisenbeiss
pastry shop, drinking chocolate and having a good time generally.
Once she had been seen in the society of a big blonde Swede from
Schuckert’s factory coming out of the Music Hall. The rumour
was spread that she had lived an irregular life in Munich, had
gadded about the streets at night, contracted a number of bad
debts, and flirted with all kinds of men.
Yet there were a few serious wooers who, duped by Andreas
Döderlein’s diplomacy, fell into the habit of coming around on
Sunday evenings and taking dinner with father and daughter.
Dorothea, however, always managed to play off one against the
other; and as they were all serious and provincial, they did not
know precisely what to make of it. In order to instil patience
into them, Döderlein took to delivering them lectures on the
intricate complications of the artistic temperament, or he made
mysterious allusions to the handsome legacy to which Dorothea
would one day fall heir.
It was this very fact, however, that made him exercise caution
with regard to Dorothea. Knowing her spirit of defiance, and
appreciating her youthful lack of judgment, he was afraid she
might make some faux pas that would offend that old fool of a
Carovius. He was already giving her a little spending money,
and the Döderleins found this a highly advantageous arrangement.
The state of Döderlein’s own finances was hopeless. It was
with the greatest difficulty that he kept up the appearance of a
well-to-do man. The chief cause of his pecuniary embarrassment
was his relation of long standing with a woman by whom he
had had three children. To support this second family, of whose
existence not a soul in his immediate surroundings knew a thing,
burdened him with a care that made it hard for him to preserve
his cheerful, Jove-like disposition.
He had been leading a double life for fourteen years. His
regular visits to the woman he loved—she lived very quietly out
in the remote suburbs of the city—had to be made without attracting
attention. To conceal his connection with her from the
vigilant eyes of his fellow citizens made constant dissimulation,
discretion, and shrewdness a necessary part of his character. But
to practise these traits year in and year out and suffer at the same
time from economic pressure filled him with suppressed anger
and fear.
He was afraid of Dorothea. There were moments when he
would have liked to maul her; and yet he saw himself obliged
to hold her in check with kind words. He could not see through
her. But she was always around, always adding to his troubles with
her plans, wishes, engagements and intrigues. He thought he had
her under control, only to discover that she was a tyrant, lording
it over him. Now she would burst out crying because of some
bagatelle, now she was laughing as though nothing had ever happened.
The roses her serious and moneyed admirers brought her
she picked to pieces in their very presence, and threw the pieces
in the waste-paper basket. Döderlein would lecture her in the
kindest and most intelligent way on good morals and gentle manners,
and she would listen as though she were a saint. Five minutes
later she would be hanging out of the window, flirting with the
barber’s boy across the street.
“I am an unfortunate father,” said Andreas Döderlein to himself,
when, apart from all his other multifarious worries, he began
to be sceptical about Dorothea’s artistic ability. Shortly after her
success in Nuremberg, she gave a concert in Frankfort, but everything
was pretty quiet. Then she toured the small towns of central
Germany, and was received everywhere with the greatest
enthusiasm. But what of it? How much critical acumen is to be
found in such places?
One evening she was at the home of a certain Frau Feistelmann,
a woman whose past had some connection with nearly every scandal
of the city. While there she met an actor by the name of
Edmund Hahn. Herr Hahn had soft, blonde hair and a pale,
bloated face. He was rather tall and had long legs. Dorothea
raved about long legs. There was a thoroughly sensual atmosphere
about the man; he devoured Dorothea with his impudent eyes.
His build, his bearing, his half blasé, half emphatic way of speaking
made an impression on Dorothea. He sat next to her at the
table, and began to rub his feet against hers. Finally he succeeded
in getting his left foot on her slipper. She tried to pull her foot
back, but the more she tried the harder he bore down on it. She
looked at him in amazement; but he smiled cynically, and in a few
minutes they were desperately intimate. After dinner they withdrew
to a hidden corner, and you could hear Dorothea giggling.
They arranged to meet each other on a certain street corner
in the dark. He sent her free tickets to “Maria Stuart” and “Die
Räuber.” He played the rôles of Mortimer and Kosinsky; he
roared till you thought the roof would fall in. He introduced
Dorothea to a number of his friends, and these brought their girl
friends along, and they all sat in the Nassau Cellar till break of
day. Among them was a certain Samuelsky, an employé of the
Reutlinger Bank. He had the manners of a man about town,
drank champagne, and went mad over Dorothea. She submitted
to his attention, welcomed it in fact, and accepted presents from
him, though, as it seemed, not until she had received the permission
from Edmund Hahn. Once he tried to kiss her: she gave him a
ringing box on the ears. He wiped his cheek, and called her a
siren.
She liked the expression. At times she would stand before the
mirror, and whisper: “Siren.”
When Andreas Döderlein heard of what was going on, he had
an attack of mad rage. “I will put you out of the house,” he
exclaimed, “I will beat you until you are a helpless, despicable
cripple.” But in his eyes there was again the trace of that suppressed
fear that gave the lie to his seeming berserker rage.
“An artist does not need to adapt her morals to the code of the
Philistine,” remarked Dorothea, with complete imperturbability.
“Those are all nice people with whom I am going. Every one
of them is a gentleman.”
A gentleman: that was an argument against which it was futile
to enter a caveat. In her eyes that man was a gentleman who ran
risks, impressed waiters and coachmen, and wore creased trousers.
“No one dares come too close to me,” she said with much pride.
That was the truth; no one had thus far awakened her deepest
curiosity, and she had determined to put a high price on herself.
Edmund Hahn was the only one who had any influence on her;
and this was true of him because he was absolutely devoid of feeling,
and had a type of shamelessness that completely disarmed and
terrified her.
Andreas Döderlein had to let her have her way. If he had
any consolation at all, it lay in the belief on his part that a real
Döderlein would never voluntarily come to grief. If Dorothea
was a genuine Döderlein, she would march straight to her objective,
and take by storm the good and useful things of life. If she
failed, it would be proof that there was a flaw somewhere in her
birth. This was his logic; and having applied it, theoretically, he
enshrouded himself in the clouds of his Olympus.
Dorothea gave her uncle Carovius, however, detailed accounts
of how she was making her suitors, young and old, walk the war-path.
They all had to do it, the actor and the banker, the candle
manufacturer and the engineer. She said she was leading the
whole pack of them around by the nose. Herr Carovius’s face
beamed with joy when he heard her say this. He called her his
little jackanapes, and said she was the fortune of his old age. To
himself he said that she was a genuine Carovius destined to great
deeds.
“You don’t have to get married,” he said with the urge of a
zealot of old, and rubbed his hands. “Oh, of course, if a Count
comes along with a few millions and a castle in the background,
why, you might think it over. But just let some greasy comedian
get it into his head that he is going to steal you away from me!
Or let some wabbly-hipped office-boy imagine for a minute that
he is going to drag you into his circle along with his other unwashed
acquaintances! If this ever happens, Dorothea, give it to ’em hot
and heavy! Show the wanton satyrs what kind of blood you have
in you.”
“Ah, Uncle,” said Dorothea, “I know you mean well by me.
You are the only one who does. But if I were only not so poor!
Look at me! Look at this dress I have on! It’s a sight!” And
she put her head in her uplifted arm and sobbed.
Herr Carovius pulled at his moustaches, moved his eyebrows up
and down, went to his writing desk, opened his strong box, took
out a hundred-mark bill, and gave it to her with turned head, as
if he were afraid of the wrath of the protecting spirit of the
money chest.
This was the state of affairs when Daniel met the youthful
Dorothea in Herr Carovius’s home, and went away with an unforgettable,
unextinguishable picture of her in his soul.
Daniel’s approaching fortieth birthday seemed like a sombre
portal leading to the realm of spent ambition. “Seize what
remains to be seized,” a voice within him cried. “Grass is growing
on the graves.”
His senses were at war with his intellect and his heart. He had
never looked on women as he was looking on them now.
One day he went out to Siegmundshof. Eberhard was not at
home. Sylvia’s face showed traces of subdued sadness. She had
three children, each one more beautiful than the other, but when
her eyes rested on them her heart was filled with grief. Women
whose married life is unhappy have dull, lifeless features; their
hands are transparent and yellow.
Daniel took leave more quickly than he had wished or intended.
He felt an egoistic aversion to the joyless sons of man.
He went to see Herr Carovius. The laughing one whom he
sought was not at home.
Herr Carovius looked at him at times distrustfully. The face
of his former foe set him to thinking. It was furrowed like a
field under cultivation and burnt like a hearthstone. It was the
face of a criminal, crabbed, enervated, tense, and breathed upon,
it seemed, by threatening clouds. Herr Carovius was a connoisseur
of faces.
In order to avoid the discomfort of fatuous conversation, Daniel
played a number of old motetts for Herr Carovius. Herr Carovius
was so pleased that he ran into his pantry, and got a half dozen
Boxdorf apples and put them in Daniel’s pockets. He bought
these apples every autumn by the peck, and cherished them as so
many priceless treasures.
“At the sound of such music it would not be difficult to become
a real Christian,” he said.
“There is spring in them,” said Daniel, “they are art that is
as innocent as new seed in the soil. But your piano needs
tuning.”
“Symbolic, symbolic, my dear friend,” cried Herr Carovius, and
puffed out his cheeks. “But you come back another time, and you
will find it in the pink of condition. Come frequently, please.
You will reap the reward of Heaven if you do.”
Herr Carovius begging for company; it was touching. Daniel
promised to bring some of the manuscripts he had been collecting
along with him. When he returned a few days later, Dorothea
was there; and from then on she was always there. His visits
became longer and longer. When Herr Carovius noticed that
Dorothea was coming to see him more frequently now, he moved
heaven and earth to persuade Daniel to come more frequently.
He rained reproach and abuse on him if he failed to come; if he
was late, he greeted him with a sour face and put indiscreet questions
to him. When he was alone of an afternoon, time stood
still. He was like a drinker tantalised by seeing his accustomed
portion of brandy on the table but just beyond his reach. The
company of these two people, Daniel and Dorothea, had become as
indispensable to his happiness as in former years the reading of
the newspapers, the brethren of the Vale of Tears, the troubles
of Eberhard and the funerals were indispensable if he were to feel
at ease. It is the way of the small citizen: each of his customs
becomes a passion.
When Daniel played the old chorals, Dorothea listened quietly,
though it could not be said that she was perfect at concealing
her tedium.
One time they began talking about Dorothea’s violin playing.
Herr Carovius asked her to play something. She declined without
the slightest display of affectation. Daniel said nothing to encourage
her; he found that this modesty was becoming to her; he
believed that he detected wisdom and resignation in her behaviour;
he smiled at her graciously.
“Tell us a story, Daniel,” she said, “that would be better.”
It eventually came out that that was what she had wanted all along.
“I am a poor raconteur,” said Daniel. “I have a thick tongue.”
She begged him, however, with stammering words and beseeching
gestures. Herr Carovius tittered. Daniel took off his glasses,
polished them, and looked at the young girl with squinting eyes.
It seemed as if the glasses had made it difficult for him to see
Dorothea distinctly, or as if he preferred to see her indistinctly.
“I really don’t know what I could tell in the way of a story,” he
replied, shaking his head.
“Tell us everything, anything,” cried Dorothea, seized with a
veritable fit of eagerness to hear him talk. She stretched out her
hands toward him: that seemed to him to be so like a child. He
had never told stories to a child; he had never in truth told stories
to any one. Gertrude and Eleanore had, to be sure, forced a confession
or a complaint from him at times, but that was all, and all
that was necessary or appropriate.
Suddenly he was drawn on by the word in which his fate would
be quietly reflected; by the fiery young eye in the brilliancy of
which the complex became simple, the dark bright; by the wicked
old man to whom the whole world, as seen from his mire, had
become a poisonous food.
And with his brittle, staccato voice he told of the countries
through which he had journeyed; of the sea and the cities by the
sea; of the Alps and the Alpine lakes; of cathedrals, palaces, and
marvellous monasteries; of the queer people he had met, of his
work and his loneliness. It was all incoherent, arid, and loveless.
Though sorely tempted, he desisted from mentioning things that
came close to his soul; things that moved his heart, fired his brain.
When he told of the Jewess, the Swallow, he did not even finish
the sentence. He made a long pause, and then shifted to the
account of his visit to Eschenbach. Here he stopped again before
he was through.
But Dorothea began to ask questions. It was all too general and
therefore unsatisfactory. “What was there in Eschenbach? Why
did you go there?” she asked boldly.
He was in error concerning the hot desire that burned in her
eyes to know about Eschenbach. Her question made him feel
good; he believed that he was on the scent of warm-heartedness;
he thought he had found a soul that was eager to help through
knowledge. He was seized with the desire of the mature man to
fashion an untouched soul in harmony with the picture of his
dreams. “My mother used to live there,” he replied hesitatingly,
“she has died.”
“Yes—and?” breathed Dorothea. She saw that that was not all.
He felt that this uncompromising reticence was not right; he
felt a sense of guilt. With still greater hesitation—and immediate
repentance—he added: “A child of mine also lived there; she was
eleven years old. She has disappeared; no one knows where she is.”
Dorothea folded her hands, “A child? And disappeared? Simply
vanished?” she whispered excitedly.
Herr Carovius looked like a man sitting on a hot iron. “Eleven
years old?” he asked, hungry for sensation, “why—that was, then—before
the time ...”
“Yes, it was before the time,” said Daniel gloomily and by way
of confirmation. He had betrayed himself, and was angry at himself
for having done so. He became silent; it was impossible to
get him to say another word.
Herr Carovius noticed how Dorothea hung on Daniel’s eyes.
A tormenting suspicion arose in him. “Yesterday out on St.
Joseph’s Place, I was talking with one of your admirers, the fellow
who shatters the wings of the stage with his ranting,” he began
with malice aforethought. “The blade had the nerve to say to me:
‘You’d better hurry up and get Dorothea Döderlein a husband, or
people will talk their tongues loose in their throats.’”
“That is not true,” cried Dorothea indignantly, blushing to the
roots of her hair. “He didn’t say that.”
Herr Carovius laughed malevolently. “Well, if it is not true,
it is pretty well put together,” he said with his usual bleat.
When Daniel left, Dorothea accompanied him to the outside
door.
“It’s a pity,” murmured Daniel, “a pity!”
“Why a pity? I am free. There isn’t a soul in the world
who has any claim on me.” She looked at him with the courage
of a real woman.
“There are remarks that are just like grease spots,” he replied.
“Well, who can keep from the dirt these days?” she asked, almost
wild with excitement.
Daniel let his eyes rest on her as though she were some material
object. He said slowly and seriously: “Keep your hands and your
eyes off of me, Dorothea. I will bring you no happiness.”
Her lips opened, thirsty. “I should like to take a walk with you
some time,” she whispered, and her features trembled with an
ecstasy which he was dupe enough to believe was meant for him;
in reality Dorothea was thinking of the adventurer and the disclosure
of the secret.
“Many years ago,” said Daniel, “you will scarcely recall it, I
protected you here in this very same gateway from a big dog. Do
you remember?”
“No! Or do I? Wait a minute! Yes, I remember, that is,
quite indistinctly. You did that?” Dorothea seized his hands
with gratitude.
“Fine! Then we will go walking to-morrow morning. Where?
Oh, it doesn’t make much difference,” said Daniel.
“But you must tell me everything, you hear? everything.”
Dorothea was as insistent as she had been in the room a short while
ago; and she was more impetuous and impatient.
They agreed upon the place where they would meet.
At first they took short walks in remote parts of the city; then
they took longer ones. On Mid-Summer Day they strolled out to
Kraftshof and the grove of the Pegnitz shepherds. Daniel made
unconscious effort to avoid the places where he had once walked
with Eleanore.
There came moments when Dorothea’s exuberance made him
pensive and sad; he felt the weight of his forty years; they were
inclined to make him hypochondriacal. Was it the vengeance of
fate that made him slow up when they came to a hill, while
Dorothea ran on ahead and waited for him, laughing?
She did not see the flowers, the trees, the animals, or the clouds.
But when she saw people a change came over her: she would
become more active; or she would mobilise her resources; or she
seemed to strike up a spiritual liaison with them. It might be
only a peasant boy on an errand or a vagabond going nowhere;
she would shake her hips and laugh one note higher.
“Her youth has gone to her head, like wine,” Daniel thought to
himself.
Once she took a box of chocolate bon-bons along. Having had
enough of them herself and seeing that Daniel did not care for
them, she threw what was left away. Daniel reproached her for
her wastefulness. “Why drag it along?” she asked with perfect
lack of embarrassment, “when you have enough of a thing you
throw it away.” She showed her white teeth, and took in one
deep breath of fresh air after another.
Daniel studied her. “She is invulnerable,” he said to himself;
“her power to wish is invincible, her fulness of life complete.”
He felt that she bore a certain resemblance to his Eva; that she
was one of those elves of light in whose cheerfulness there is occasionally
a touch of the terrible. He decided then and there not to
let mischievous chance have its own way: he was going to put out
his hand when he felt it was advisable.
“When are you going to begin to tell me the stories?” she asked:
“I must, I must know all about you,” she added with much warmth
of expression. “There are days and nights when I cannot rest.
Tell me! Tell me!”
That was the truth. In order to penetrate his life history, which
she pictured to herself as full of passionate, checkered events, she
had done everything that he had demanded of her.
Daniel refused; he was silent; he was afraid he would darken
the girl’s pure mind, jeopardise her unsuspecting innocence. He
was afraid to conjure up the shadows.
One day she was talking along in her easy way, and while so
doing she tripped herself up. She had begun to tell him about
the men she had been going with; and before she knew what she
was doing, she had fallen into the tone she used when she talked
with her Uncle Carovius. Becoming suddenly aware of her indiscretion,
she stopped, embarrassed. Daniel’s serious questions caused
her to make some confessions she would otherwise never have
thought of making. She told a goodly number of rather murky
and ugly stories, and it was very hard for her to act as though she
were innocent or the victim of circumstances. At last, unable
longer to escape from the net she had woven, she made a clean
breast of her whole life, painted it all in the gaudiest colours, and
then waited in breathless—but agreeable—suspense to see what
effect it would have on Daniel.
Daniel was silent for a while; then he made a motion with his
outstretched hand as if he were cutting something in two: “Away
from them, Dorothea, or away from me!”
Dorothea bowed her head, and then looked at him timidly from
head to foot. The decisiveness with which he spoke was something
new to her, though it was by no means offensive. A voluptuous
shudder ran through her limbs. “Yes,” she whispered girlishly,
“I am going to put an end to it. I never realised what it all
meant. But don’t be angry, will you? No, you won’t, will you?”
She came closer to him; her eyes were filled with tears. “Don’t
be angry at me,” she said again, “poor Dorothea can’t help it. She
is not responsible for it.”
“But how did you come to do it?” asked Daniel. “I can’t see
how it was possible. Weren’t you disgusted to the very bottom
of your soul? How could you go about under God’s free heavens
with such hyenas? Why, girl, the very thought of it fills me with
scepticism about everything.”
“What should I have done, Daniel?” she said, calling him by his
baptismal name for the first time. She spoke with a felicitous
mixture of submissiveness and boldness that touched and at the
same time enchanted him. “What should I have done? They
come and talk to you, and spin their nets about you; and at home
it is so dreary and lonely, and your heart is so empty and Father
is so mean, you haven’t got anybody else in the world to talk to.”
Such was her defence, effective even if more voluble than coherent.
They walked on. They were passing through a valley in the
forest. On either side were tall pine trees, the crowns of which
were lighted by the evening sun.
“You can’t play with Fate, Dorothea,” said Daniel. “It does
not permit smudging or muddling, if we are to stand the test. It
keeps a faultless ledger; the entries it makes on both sides are the
embodiment of accuracy. Debts that we contract must always be
paid, somehow, somewhere.”
Dorothea felt that he was getting started; that the great, good
story was about to come. She stopped, spread her shawl on the
ground, and took a graceful position on it, all eyes and ears. Daniel
threw himself on the moss beside her.
And he told his story—into the moss where little insects were
creeping around. He never raised either his eye or his voice.
At times Dorothea had to bend over to hear him.
He told about Gertrude, her torpor, her awakening, her love,
her resignation. He told about Eleanore; told how he had loved
her without knowing it. He told how Eleanore, out of an excess
of passion and suffering, became his, how Gertrude wandered about
dazed, unhappy, lost, until she finally took her life: “Then we went
up to the attic, and found it on fire and her lifeless body hanging
from the rafter.”
He told how Gertrude had lived on as a shadow by the side of
Eleanore, and how Eleanore became a flower girl, and how Philippina
the inexplicable, and still inexplicable, had come into his
family, and how Gertrude’s child lived there like an unfed foundling,
and how the other child, the child he had had by the maid,
had found such a warm spot in his heart.
He told of his meeting the two sisters, their speaking and their
remaining silent, his seeing them in secret trysts, the moving about
from house to house and room to room, the singing of songs, his
experiences with the Dörmaul opera company, the light thrown
on his drab life by a mask, his friend and the help he had received
from him, his separation from him, the brush-maker’s house on
St. James’s Place, the three queer old maids in the Long Row, the
days he spent at Castle Erfft, the old father of the two sisters
and his strange doings—all of this he described in the tone of a
man awakening from a deep sleep. There was a confidence in what
he said and the way he said it that mayhap terrified the hovering
spirits of the evening, though it did not fill Dorothea’s eyes, then
glistening like polished metal, with a more intimate or cordial
light.
When he looked up he felt he saw two sombre figures standing
on the edge of the forest; he felt he saw the two sisters, and that
they were casting mournful, reproachful glances at him.
He got up. “And all that,” he concluded, “all that has been
drunk up, like rain by the parched earth, by a work on which I
have been labouring for the past seven years. For seven years.
Two more years, and I will give it to the world, provided this
unsteady globe has not fallen into the sun by that time.”
Dorothea had a confused, haphazard idea as to the type of
man that was standing before her. She was seized with a prickling
desire for him such as she had thus far never experienced. She
began to love him, in her way. Something impelled her to seek
shelter by him, near him, somewhat as a bird flies under the crown
of a tree at the approach of a storm. Daniel interpreted the
timidity with which she put her arm in his as a sign of gratitude.
And in this mood he took her back to the city.
It was in this pulsing, urging, joyful mood that Daniel worked
at and completed the fifth movement of his symphony, a scherzo
of grand proportions, beginning with a clarinet figure that symbolised
laughing sans-souci. All the possibilities of joy developed
from this simple motif. Nor was retrospection or consolation lacking.
If the main themes, mindful of their former pre-eminence,
seemed inclined to widen the bed of their stream, they were
appeased and forced back into their original channel by artistic
and capriciously alternating means. Once all three themes flowed
along together, gaining strength apparently through their union,
rose to a wonderful fugue, and seemed to be just on the point of
gaining the victory when the whole orchestra, above the chord in
D sevenths, was seized by the waltz melody, those melancholy sister-strains
were taken up by the violins, and fled, dirge-like, to their
unknown abodes. Just before the jubilant crescendo of the finale,
a bassoon solo held one of them fast on its distant, grief-stricken
heights.
Daniel sketched the sixth movement in the following fourteen
nights.
He was fully aware of the fact that he had never been able to
work this way before. When a man accomplishes the extraordinary,
he knows it. It seizes him like a disease, and fills him like a profound
dream.
At times he felt as though he must tell some one about it, even
if it were only Herr Carovius. But once the flame had died
down, he could not help but laugh at the temptation to which he
had felt himself subjected. “Patience,” he thought, feeling more
assured than ever, “patience, patience!”
Since his work on the manuscripts was completed and his connection
with the firm of Philander and Sons dissolved, he began to
look around for another position. He had saved in the course of
the last few years four thousand marks, but he wished to keep
this sum intact.
He learned that the position of organist at the Church of St.
Ægydius was vacant; he went to the pastor, who recommended him
to his superiors. It was decided that he should play something
before the church consistory. This he did one morning in October.
The trial proved eminently successful to his exacting auditors.
He was appointed organist at St. Ægydius’s at a salary of twelve
hundred marks a year. When he played on Sundays and holidays,
the people came into the church just to hear him.
Among the suitors for the hand of Dorothea on whom Andreas
Döderlein looked with special favour was the mill owner, a man
by the name of Weisskopf. Herr Weisskopf was passionately fond
of music. He had greatly admired Dorothea when she gave her
concert, and had sent her a laurel wreath.
One day Herr Weisskopf came in and took dinner with the
Döderleins. When he left, Döderlein said to his daughter: “My
dear Dorothea, from this day on you may consider yourself betrothed.
This admirable man desires to have you as his lawfully
wedded wife. It is a great good fortune; the man is as rich as
Crœsus.”
Instead of making a reply, Dorothea laughed heartily. But she
knew that the time had come when something had to be done.
Her mobile face twitched with scorn, fear, and desire.
“Think it over; sleep on it. I have promised Herr Weisskopf to
let him know to-morrow,” said Döderlein, black-browed.
A week before this, Andreas Döderlein, confidently expecting
that Herr Weisskopf would ask for the hand of his daughter, had
borrowed a thousand marks from him. The miller had loaned
him the money believing that he was thereby securing a promissory
note on Dorothea. Döderlein had placed himself under obligations,
and was consequently determined to carry out his plans with
regard to the marriage of his daughter.
But Dorothea’s behaviour made it safe to predict that objections
would be raised on her part. Döderlein was in trouble; he sought
distraction. Sixteen years ago he had begun an opus entitled “All
Souls: a Symphonic Picture.” Five pages of the score had been
written, and since then he had never undertaken creative work.
He rummaged around in his desk, found the score, went to the
piano, and tried to take up the thread where he had lost it sixteen
years ago. He tried to imagine the intervening time merely as a
pause, an afternoon siesta.
It would not go. He sighed. He sat before the instrument,
and stared at the paper like a schoolboy who has a problem to solve
but has forgotten the rule. He seemed to lament the loss of his
artistic ability. He felt so hollow. The notes grinned at him;
they mocked him. His thoughts turned involuntarily to the miller.
He improvised for a while. Dorothea stuck her head in the door
and sang: “Rhinegold, Rhinegold, pu-re gold.”
He was enraged; he got up, slammed the lid of the piano, took
his hat and top coat, left the house, and went out to see his friend
in the suburbs.
When he returned that night, he saw Dorothea standing in the
door with a man. It was the actor, Edmund Hahn. They were
carrying on a heated conversation in whispers. The man was holding
Dorothea by the arm, but when Döderlein became visible from
the unlighted street, he uttered an ugly oath and quickly disappeared.
Dorothea looked her father straight, and impudently, in the face,
and followed him into the dark house.
When they were upstairs and had lighted the lamp, Döderlein
turned to her, and asked her threateningly: “What do you mean
by these immodest associations? Tell me! I want an answer!”
“I don’t want to marry your flour sack. That’s my answer,” said
Dorothea, with a defiant toss of her head.
“Well, we’ll see,” said Döderlein, pale with rage and ploughing
through his hair with his fingers, “we’ll see. Get out of here!
I have no desire to lose my well-earned sleep on account of such
an ungrateful hussy. We’ll take up the subject again to-morrow
morning.”
The next morning Dorothea hastened to Herr Carovius. “Uncle,”
she stammered, “he wants to marry me to that flour sack.”
“Yes? Well, I suppose I’ll have to visit that second-rate musician
in his studio again and give him a piece of my mind. In the
meantime be calm, my child, be calm,” said he, stroking her brown
hair, “Old Carovius is still alive.”
Dorothea nestled up to him, and smiled: “What would you say,
Uncle,” she began with a knavish and at the same time unusually
attentive expression in her face, “if I were to marry Daniel
Nothafft? You like him,” she continued in a flattering tone, and
held him fast by the shoulder when he started back, “you like him,
I know you do. I must marry somebody; for I do not wish to be
an old maid, and I can’t stand Father any longer.”
Herr Carovius tore himself loose from her. “To the insane
asylum with you!” he cried. “I would rather see you go to bed
with that meal sack. Is the Devil in you, you prostitute? If your
skin itches, scratch it, so far as I am concerned, but take a stable
boy to do it, as Empress Katherine of blessed memory did. Buy
fine dresses, bedizen yourself with tom-foolery of all shades and
colours, go to dances and lap up champagne, make music or throw
your damn fiddle on the dung heap, do anything you want to do,
I’ll pay for it; but that green-eyed phantast, that lunk-headed rat-catcher,
that woman-eater and music-box bird, no, no! Never!
Send him humping down the stairs and out the front door! For
God’s sake and the sake of all the saints, don’t marry him! Don’t,
I say. If you do, it’s all off between you and me.”
There was such a look of hate and fear in Herr Carovius’s face
that Dorothea was almost frightened. His hair was as towsled as
the twigs of an abandoned bird’s nest; water was dripping from the
corners of his mouth; his eyes were inflamed; his glasses were on
the tip of his nose.
Nothing could have made Dorothea more pleased with the story
Daniel had told her than Herr Carovius’s ravings. Her eyes were
opened wide, her mouth was thirsty. If she had hesitated at times
before, she did so no more. She loved money; greed was a part
of her make-up from the hour she was born. But if Herr Carovius
had laid the whole of his treasures at her feet, and said to her,
“You may have them if you will renounce Daniel Nothafft,” she
would have replied, “Your money, my Daniel.”
Something terribly strange and strong drew her to the man she
had just heard so volubly cursed. That sensual prickling was of
a more dangerous violence and warmth in his presence than in that
of any other man she had ever known; and she had known a
number. To her he was a riddle and a mystery; she wanted to
solve the one and clear up the other. He had possessed so many
women, indubitably more than he had confessed to her; and she
wished now to possess him. He was so quiet, so clever, so resolute:
she wanted his quietness, his cleverness, his resoluteness. She
wanted everything he had, his charm, his magic, his power over
men, all that he displayed and all that he concealed.
She thought of him constantly; she thought in truth of no one
else, and nothing else. Her thoughts fluttered about his picture,
shyly, greedily, and as playfully as a kitten. He had managed to
bring will power and unity into her senses. She wanted to have
him.
The rain beat against the window. Terrified at Dorothea’s
thoughtfulness, Herr Carovius pressed his hands to his cheeks. “I
see, I see, you want to leave me all alone,” he said in a tone that
sounded like the howling of a dog in the middle of the night.
“You want to deceive me, to surrender me to the enemy, to leave
me nothing, nothing but the privilege of sitting here and staring
at my four walls. I see, I see.”
“Be still, Uncle, nothing is going to happen. It is all a huge
joke,” said Dorothea with feigned good humour and kind intentions.
She walked to the door slowly, looking back every now and
then with a smile on her face.
It was early in the morning when Dorothea rang Daniel’s bell.
Philippina opened the door, but she did not wish to let Dorothea
in. She forced an entrance, however, and, standing in the door,
she inspected Philippina with the eye of arrogance, always a clear-sighted
organ.
“Look out, Philippin’, there’s something rotten here,” murmured
Philippina to herself.
Daniel was at work. He got up and looked at Dorothea, who
carefully closed the door.
“Here I am, Daniel,” she said, and breathed a sigh of relief,
like a swimmer who has just reached the land.
“What is it all about?” asked Daniel, seemingly ill inclined to
become excited.
“I have done what you wanted me to do, Daniel: I have broken
away from them. I cannot tolerate Father a minute longer. Where
should I go if not to you?”
Daniel went up to her, and laid his hands on her shoulders.
“Girl, girl!” he said as if to warn her. He felt uneasy.
They looked into each other’s eyes for what seemed like an
eternity. Daniel was apparently trying to peer into the innermost
recesses of her soul. Dorothea’s eyes sparkled with daring;
she did not lower her lids. Suddenly, as if moved from within,
Daniel bent over and kissed her on the forehead.
“You know who I am,” he said, and walked back and forth in
the room. “You know how I have lived and how I am living at
present. I am a guilty man, and a lonely man. My nature
craves tenderness, but is unable to give tenderness in return. My
lot is a hard one, and whoever decides to share it with me must
be able to bear her part of this hardness. I am frequently my own
enemy and the enemy of those who mean well by me. I am not
a humourist, and make a poor impression in society. I can be
gruff, offensive, spiteful, irreconcilable, and revengeful. I am
ugly, poor, and no longer young. Are you not afraid of your
twenty-three years, Dorothea?”
Dorothea shook her head vigorously.
“Test yourself, Dorothea, examine yourself,” he continued
urgently, “don’t be too inexact, too careless with me, nor with
yourself. Study the situation from all sides, so that we may make
no false calculations. Fate, you know, is fate. Love can get
control of me more than I can get control of myself, and when
this takes place I will do everything in my power. But I must
have confidence, unlimited confidence. If I were to lose confidence,
I should be like a mortal proscribed to Hell, an outcast, an
evil spirit. Examine yourself, Dorothea. You must know what
you are doing; it is your affair, and it is a sacred one.”
“I cannot do otherwise, Daniel!” cried Dorothea, and threw
herself on his bosom.
“Then God be merciful to us,” said Daniel.
Daniel took Dorothea over to Sylvia von Erfft’s at Siegmundshof.
He had written to her, given her all the details, explained the
entire situation, and begged her to take Dorothea in and entertain
her until the day of the wedding. Sylvia had shown herself most
obliging in the matter; she met his requests with unaffected cordiality.
Dorothea had spent two nights at home, during which she had
succeeded in evading all explanations with her father. She did
this by having him agree to give her three days to think it over.
On the morning of the third day, after her father had gone to
the conservatory, she packed up her belongings and left the house.
Andreas Döderlein found the following letter from her: “Dear
Father: Abandon all your hopes with regard to my marrying Herr
Weisskopf. I am of age and can marry whomsoever I wish. I
have already made my choice. The man who is going to lead me
to the altar is called Daniel Nothafft. He loves me perhaps even
more than I deserve, and I will make him a good wife. This is
my unalterable decision, and you yourself will certainly come to
see that it is nobler to obey the impulses of one’s own heart than
to allow one’s self to be led on and blinded by material considerations.
Your loving daughter, Dorothea.”
Andreas Döderlein had a sinking spell. The letter slipped from
his fingers and fell to the floor. Trembling in his whole body,
he walked up to the covered table, took a glass and hurled it against
the wall. The glass broke into a thousand pieces. “I will choke
you, you impious toad!” he panted, shook his clenched fist, went to
Dorothea’s room, and, seized with boundless wrath, upset the chairs
and the little dressing table.
The maid, terrified, ran into the living room. She saw Dorothea’s
letter lying on the floor, picked it up, and read it. When
she heard her mad master returning, she ran down stairs to the
ground floor, rang Herr Carovius’s bell, and showed him the letter.
His face turned yellow as he read it. The maid uttered a shrill,
piercing cry, snatched the letter from Herr Carovius’s hands, and
ran out into the court, for she heard Andreas Döderlein stumbling
down the steps. He wanted to call the police and have them
lock up the abductor of his daughter. Catching sight of Herr
Carovius in the hall, he stopped and fixed his eyes on him. In
them there was a sea of anger; and yet it was obvious that Andreas
Döderlein was eager to ask a question or two. It seemed indeed
that just one conciliatory statement, even a single gesture on the
part of the man whom he had scrupulously avoided for years,
would make bye-gones be bye-gones and convert two implacable
foes into friends, colleagues indeed in the business of revenge and
punishment.
But Herr Carovius was done with the world. His face was
distorted; grimaces of unrelieved meanness furrowed his brow; his
contempt knew no bounds. He turned about and slammed the
door leading into his apartment with a bang that showed his intention
of shutting himself up in his own stronghold.
Andreas Döderlein got as far as the entrance to the Town Hall.
There he was suddenly seized with grave doubts. He stared at
the pavement for a while, sad and sinister, and then started back
home. His steps were not half so impetuous as they had been
on the way over; they gave evidence of weakened will and fading
energy.
Hardly had he reached home when Daniel was announced.
“You have the boldness, Sir,” he cried out to Daniel on his entering.
“You have the boldness to appear in my sight? By the
gods above, you are going far!”
“I will accept any challenge you make,” said Daniel, with the
chilly dignity that was characteristic of him in such circumstances
and that never failed to have a sobering effect on his potential
antagonist. “I have nothing to fear. I should like to live in
peace with the father of my wife, and for this reason I have come
to you.”
“Do you know what you are doing to me? You have stolen my
daughter, man!” cried Döderlein with pathos. “But just wait.
I will checkmate your plans. I will make you feel the full measure
of my power.”
Daniel smiled contemptuously. “I am certain of that,” he
replied. “I will feel your power as long as I live; I have always
felt it. But I have never submitted to it, and up to the present I
have always been able to break it. Think it over! Recall my past
history! And devote a few of your meditative moments to your
child. Adieu!” With that Daniel left.
Andreas Döderlein was ill at ease. The man’s smile followed
him wherever he went. What could the desperado be planning?
A bad conscience paralyses evil determinations. For more than a
week, Döderlein waged perpetual war with his pride. And then?
Daniel did not allow himself to be seen; he received no news
of any kind from Dorothea; and, climax of it all, Herr Weisskopf
notified him that his note for one thousand marks, with interest,
was due. Döderlein saw that there was nothing to be done about
it all except to recognise the dénouement as a fact and not as a
stage scene. And one day he hobbled up the steps of the house
on Ægydius Place.
“I am glad to see you,” said Daniel as he reached out his hand
to his visitor.
Andreas Döderlein spoke of a father’s bleeding heart, of the
crushing of proud hopes, of the impiety of youth, and the lonesomeness
of old age. And then, rather disconnectedly, beating a
tattoo with the fingers of his big hand on the top of the table, he
spoke of the constraint in which he found himself with reference
to the opulent owner of the mill. He told Daniel he had gone
on a man’s note, had been suddenly obliged to redeem the note, and
not having so much ready money at his disposal, had accepted a
loan from the rich aspirant for Dorothea’s hand.
Daniel was forced to admit that his troubles were humiliating
and that the money would have to be raised. Döderlein said it
amounted to fifteen hundred marks. He was surprised himself
when he mentioned the sum which assured him a clear gain of
fifty per cent. It had been a clever idea, serving as it did to put
the generosity of his future son-in-law to test. At the bottom of
his heart he felt that his action was dishonourable, and was consequently
touched when Daniel, giving this inroad on his savings
but a moment’s thought, promised to send him the money the
following day.
“You make me feel ashamed of myself, Daniel, really you do.
Let us bury the hatchet! We are after all colleagues in Apollo.
Or aren’t we? Call me Father, and I will call you Son! Address
me with Du, and I will follow your example.”
Daniel gave him his hand without saying a word.
Döderlein asked about Dorothea; and when Daniel told him
where she was, he seemed quite contented. “Tell her my house
and my arms are open to her; tell her of the change in the constellation,”
he said softly. “We have both done each other injustice
and have both repented.”
Daniel replied quite conventionally that he thought it better
to leave Dorothea with Sylvia von Auffenberg.
“As you wish, my son,” said Andreas Döderlein, “I bow to the
claims of your young happiness. Now we should have a bottle
of Malvoisie or Moselle, so that I can drink to the health of my
dear, unruly daughter. Or don’t you care to?”
Daniel went to send Philippina to the Golden Posthorn. But
Philippina had gone out with Agnes. He saw one of the maids
from one of the other apartments standing on the steps, and got
her to run the errand. It was a long while before she returned,
and when the wine was finally poured out, Döderlein had not time
to drink: he was scheduled to give a lecture in the conservatory at
seven. He drank about half of his glass, and then took hasty leave
of Daniel, shaking his hand with unwonted fervour.
Daniel sat for a while thinking it all over. There was a knock
at the door, and old Jordan came in. “May I?” he asked.
Daniel nodded. Jordan took a seat on the chair Döderlein had
been sitting on. He looked into Daniel’s face quizzically. “Is it
true, Daniel, that you are going to get married again? That you
are going to marry the Döderlein girl?”
“Yes, Father, it is true,” replied Daniel. He got a fresh glass,
filled it, and pushed it over to the old man. “Drink, Father!” he
said.
The old man sipped the wine with an air of adoration. “It
must be nine or ten years since I have had any wine,” he said more
or less to himself.
“You have not had a happy life,” replied Daniel.
“I will not complain, Daniel. I bear it because I have to. And
who knows? Perhaps there is still a measure of joy in store for
me. Perhaps; who knows?”
The two men sat in silence and drank. It was so still that you
could hear the fluttering of the light in the lamp.
“Where can Philippina be?” asked Daniel.
“Yes, Philippina. I had forgot to tell you,” began old Jordan
sorrowfully. “She came to me this afternoon, and told me she
was going over to Frau Hadebusch’s with Agnes and was going
to stay there until after the wedding. But she spoke in such a
confused way that I couldn’t make out just what she planned to do.
It sounded in fact as though she were thinking of leaving the
house for good and all. I wonder whether the girl isn’t a little
off in her head? Day before yesterday I heard an awful racket
in the kitchen; and when I went down, I saw at least six plates
lying on the floor all smashed to pieces. And as if this was not
enough, she threatened to throw the dishwater on me. She was
swearing like a trooper. Now tell me: how is this? Can she go
over to Frau Hadebusch’s, and take Agnes with her without getting
any one’s consent?”
Daniel made no reply. The thought of Philippina filled him
with anguish; he feared some misfortune. He felt that he would
have to let her have her way.
In the night Daniel became very much excited. He left the
house, and, despite the darkness and the snow storm, wandered
out to the country quite unmindful of the cold and snow and
the wind.
He listened to the whisperings of his soul; he took council
with himself. He looked up at the great black vaulted arch of
heaven as though he were beseeching the powers above to send
him the light he felt he needed. The morning of the approaching
day seemed bleaker, blacker to him than the night that was
passing. He was lost in anxiety: he went over to his graves.
He did not stop to think until well on his way that the gate
to the cemetery would be closed; but he kept on going. He
looked around for a place in the wall where he might climb over.
Finally he found one, climbed up, scratched his hands painfully,
leaped down into some snow-covered hedges, and then wandered
around with his burden of grief over the stormy, desolate field of
the dead. As he stood before Gertrude’s grave he was overwhelmed
with the feeling of the hour: there were voices in the storm; he
felt that the horror and the memory of it all would hurl him to
the ground. But when he stood by the grave of Eleanore, he felt
his peace return. The clouds suddenly opened on the distant
horizon, and a moonbeam danced about him.
It was almost morning when he reached home.
A week later he went over to Siegmundshof and got Dorothea.
Sylvia and Dorothea came down through a snow-covered alley
to meet him. They were walking arm in arm, and Sylvia was
laughing at Dorothea’s easy-flowing conversation. They seemed to
be getting along perfectly together: there could be no mistaking
the picture he saw before him. Sylvia told Daniel when she was
alone with him that she had taken a great liking to Dorothea. She
remarked that her cheerfulness was irresistible and contagious, and
that when she was with children she became a child herself.
Yet, despite all this, Sylvia studied Daniel. And when Dorothea
was present she studied her too: she cast fleeting, searching, unassured
glances at them—at Daniel and at Dorothea.
Daniel and Dorothea were married on a sunny day in December.