IT was a street in Rome—narrow, winding, not over-clean. Two vehicles
meeting there could pass only by grazing the doors and windows on either
side, after the usual excited whip-cracking and shouts which make the
new-comer imagine, for his first day or two, that he is proceeding at a
perilous speed through the sacred city of the soul.
But two vehicles did not often meet in the street of the Hyacinth. It
was not a thoroughfare, not even a convenient connecting link; it
skirted the back of the Pantheon, the old buildings on either side
rising so high against the blue that the sun never came down lower than
the fifth line of windows, and looking up from the pavement was like
looking up from the bottom of a well. There was no foot-walk, of course;
even if there had been one no one would have used it, owing to the easy
custom of throwing from the windows a few ashes and other light trifles
for the city refuse-carts, instead of carrying them down the long stairs
to the door below. They must be in the street at an appointed hour, must
they not? Very well, then—there they were; no one but an unreasonable
foreigner would dream of objecting.
But unreasonable foreigners seldom entered the street of the Hyacinth.
There were, however, two who lived there one winter not long ago, and
upon a certain morning in the January of that winter a third came to see
these two. At least he asked for them, and gave two cards to the Italian
maid who answered his ring; but when, before he had time to even seat
himself, the little curtain over the parlor door was raised again, and
Miss Macks entered, she came alone. Her mother did not appear. The
visitor was not disturbed by being obliged to begin conversation
immediately; he was an old Roman sojourner, and had stopped fully three
minutes at the end of the fourth flight of stairs to re-gain his breath
before he mounted the fifth and last to ring Miss Macks's bell. Her card
was tacked upon the door: "Miss Ettie F. Macks." He surveyed it with
disfavor, while the little, loose-hung bell rang a small but exceedingly
shrill and ill-tempered peal, like the barking of a small cur. "Why in
the world doesn't she put her mother's card here instead of her own?" he
said to himself. "Or, if her own, why not simply 'Miss Macks,' without
that nickname?"
But Miss Macks's mother had never possessed a visiting-card in her life.
Miss Macks was the visiting member of the family; and this was so well
understood at home, that she had forgotten that it might not be the same
abroad. As to the "Ettie," having been called so always, it had not
occurred to her to make a change. Her name was Ethelinda Faith, Mrs.
Macks having thus combined euphony and filial respect—the first title
being her tribute to æsthetics, the second her tribute to the memory of
her mother.
"I am so very glad to see you, Mr. Noel," said Miss Macks, greeting her
visitor with much cordial directness of voice and eyes. "I have been
expecting you. But you have waited so long—three days!"
Raymond Noel, who thought that under the circumstances he had been
unusually courteous and prompt, was rather surprised to find himself
thus put at once upon the defensive.
"We are not always able to carry out our wishes immediately, Miss
Macks," he replied, smiling a little. "I was hampered by several
previously made engagements."
"Yes; but this was a little different, wasn't it? This was something
important—not like an invitation to lunch or dinner, or the usual idle
society talk."
He looked at her; she was quite in earnest.
"I suppose it to be different," he answered. "You must remember how
little you have told me."
"I thought I told you a good deal! However, the atmosphere of a
reception is no place for such subjects, and I can understand that you
did not take it in. That is the reason I asked you to come and see me
here. Shall I begin at once? It seems rather abrupt."
"I enjoy abruptness; I have not heard any for a long time."
"That I can understand, too; I suppose the society here is all finished
off—there are no rough ends."
"There are ends. If not rough, they are often sharp."
But Miss Macks did not stop to analyze this; she was too much occupied
with her own subject.
"I will begin immediately, then," she said. "It will be rather long; but
if you are to understand me you ought, of course, to know the whole."
"My chair is very comfortable," replied Noel, placing his hat and gloves
on the sofa near him, and taking an easy position with his head back.
Miss Macks thought that he ought to have said, "The longer it is, the
more interesting," or something of that sort. She had already described
him to her mother as "not over-polite. Not rude in the least, you
know—as far as possible from that; wonderfully smooth-spoken; but yet,
somehow—awfully indifferent." However, he was Raymond Noel; and that,
not his politeness or impoliteness, was her point.
"To begin with, then, Mr. Noel, a year ago I had never read one word you
have written; I had never even heard of you. I suppose you think it
strange that I should tell you this so frankly; but, in the first place,
it will give you a better idea of my point of view; and, in the second,
I feel a friendly interest in your taking measures to introduce your
writings into the community where I lived. It is a very intelligent
community. Naturally, a writer wants his articles read. What else does
he write them for?"
"Perhaps a little for his own entertainment," suggested her listener.
"Oh no! He would never take so much trouble just for that."
"On the contrary, many would take any amount just for that. Successfully
to entertain one's self—that is one of the great successes of life."
Miss Macks gazed at him; she had a very direct gaze.
"This is just mere talk," she said, not impatiently, but in a
business-like tone. "We shall never get anywhere if you take me up so.
It is not that your remarks are not very cultivated and interesting,
and all that, but simply that I have so much to tell you."
"Perhaps I can be cultivated and interesting dumbly. I will try."
"You are afraid I am going to be diffuse; I see that. So many women are
diffuse! But I shall not be, because I have been thinking for six months
just what I should say to you. It was very lucky that I went with Mrs.
Lawrence to that reception where I met you. But if it had not happened
as it did I should have found you out all the same. I should have looked
for your address at all the bankers', and if it was not there I should
have inquired at all the hotels. But it was delightful luck getting hold
of you in this way almost the very minute I enter Rome!"
She spoke so simply and earnestly that Noel did not say that he was
immensely honored, and so forth, but merely bowed his acknowledgments.
"To go back. I shall give you simply heads," pursued Miss Macks. "If you
want details, ask, and I will fill them in. I come from the West.
Tuscolee Falls is the name of our town. We had a farm there, but we did
not do well with it after Mr. Spurr's death, so we rented it out. That
is how I come to have so much leisure. I have always had a great deal of
ambition; by that I mean that I did not see why things that had once
been done could not be done again. It seemed to me that the point
was—just determination. And then, of course, I always had the talent. I
made pictures when I was a very little girl. Mother has them still, and
I can show them to you. It is just like all the biographies, you know.
They always begin in childhood, and astonish the family. Well, I had my
first lessons from a drawing-teacher who spent a summer in Tuscolee. I
can show you what I did while with him. Then I attended, for four years,
the Young Ladies' Seminary in the county-town, and took lessons while
there. I may as well be perfectly frank and tell the whole, which is
that everybody was astonished at my progress, and that I was myself. All
sorts of things are prophesied out there about my future. You see, the
neighborhood is a very generous-spirited one, and they like to think
they have discovered a genius at their own doors. My telling you all
this sounds, I know, rather conceited, Mr. Noel. But if you could see my
motive, and how entirely without conceit my idea of myself really is,
you would hold me free from that charge. It is only that I want you to
know absolutely the whole."
"I quite understand," answered her visitor.
"Well, I hope you do. I went on at home after that by myself, and I did
a good deal. I work pretty rapidly, you see. Then came my last lessons,
from a third teacher. He was a young man from New York. He had
consumption, poor fellow! and cannot last long. He wasn't of much use to
me in actual work. His ideas were completely different from those of my
other teachers, and, indeed, from my own. He was unreliable, too, and
his temper was uneven. However, I had a good deal of respect for his
opinion, and he told me to get your art-articles and read them. It
wasn't easy. Some of them are scattered about in the magazines and
papers, you know. However, I am pretty determined, and I kept at it
until I got them all. Well, they made a great impression upon me. You
see, they were new." She paused. "But I doubt, Mr. Noel, whether we
should ever entirely agree," she added, looking at him reflectively.
"That is very probable, Miss Macks."
Miss Macks thought this an odd reply. "He is so queer, with all his
smoothness!" she said to her mother afterwards. "He never says what you
think he will say. Now, any one would suppose that he would have
answered that he would try to make me agree, or something like that.
Instead, he just gave it right up without trying! But I expect he sees
how independent I am, and that I don't intend to reflect any one."
"Well, they made a great impression," she resumed. "And as you seemed to
think, Mr. Noel, that no one could do well in painting who had not seen
and studied the old pictures over here, I made up my mind to come over
at any cost, if it was a possible thing to bring it about. It wasn't
easy, but—here we are. In the lives of all—almost all—artists, I have
noticed—haven't you?—that there comes a time when they have to live on
hope and their own pluck more than upon anything tangible that the
present has to offer. They have to take that risk. Well, I have taken
it; I took it when we left America. And now I will tell you what it is I
want from you. I haven't any hesitation in asking, because I am sure
you will feel interested in a case like mine, and because it was your
writings really that brought me here, you know. And so, then, first: I
would like your opinion of all that I have done so far. I have brought
everything with me to show you. Second: I want your advice as to the
best teacher; I suppose there is a great choice in Rome. Third: I should
be glad if you would give a general oversight to all I do for the next
year. And last, if you would be so kind, I should much enjoy making
visits with you to all the galleries and hearing your opinions again by
word of mouth, because that is always so much more vivid, you know, than
the printed page."
"My dear Miss Macks! you altogether over-estimate my powers," said Noel,
astounded by these far-reaching demands, so calmly and confidently made.
"Yes, I know. Of course it strikes you so—strikes you as a great
compliment that I should wish to put myself so entirely in your hands,"
answered Miss Macks, smiling. "But you must give up thinking of me as
the usual young lady; you must not think of me in that way any more than
I shall think of you as the usual young gentleman. You will never meet
me at a reception again; now that I have found you, I shall devote
myself entirely to my work."
"An alarming girl!" said Noel to himself. But, even as he said it, he
knew that, in the ordinary acceptation of the term at least, Miss Macks
was not alarming.
She was twenty-two; in some respects she looked older, in others much
younger, than most girls of that age. She was tall, slender, erect, but
not especially graceful. Her hands were small and finely shaped, but
thin. Her features were well cut; her face oval. Her gray eyes had a
clear directness in their glance, which, combined with the other
expressions of her face, told the experienced observer at once that she
knew little of what is called "the world." For, although calm, it was a
deeply confident glance; it showed that the girl was sure that she could
take care of herself, and even several others also, through any
contingencies that might arise. She had little color; but her smooth
complexion was not pale—it was slightly brown. Her mouth was small, her
teeth small and very white. Her light-brown hair was drawn back smoothly
from her forehead, and drawn up smoothly behind, its thickness braided
in a close knot on the top of her head. This compact coiffure, at a time
when most feminine foreheads in Rome and elsewhere were shaded almost to
the eyebrows by curling locks, and when the arched outline of the head
was left unbroken, the hair being coiled in a low knot behind, made Miss
Macks look somewhat peculiar. But she was not observant of fashion's
changes. That had been the mode in Tuscolee; she had grown accustomed to
it; and, as her mind was full of other things, she had not considered
this one. One or two persons, who noticed her on the voyage over, said
to themselves, "If that girl had more color, and if she was graceful,
and if she was a little more womanly—that is, if she would not look at
everything in such a direct, calm, impartial, impersonal sort of
way—she would be almost pretty."
But Miss Macks continued without color and without grace, and went on
looking at things as impersonally and impartially as ever.
"I shall be most happy, of course, to do anything that I can," Noel had
answered. Then to make a diversion, "Shall I not have the pleasure of
seeing Mrs. Macks?" he asked.
"Mrs. Macks? Oh, you mean mother. My mother's name is Spurr—Mrs. Spurr.
My father died when I was a baby, and some years afterwards she married
Mr. Spurr. She is now again a widow. Her health is not good, and she
sees almost no one, thank you."
"I suppose you are much pleased with the picturesqueness of Roman life,
and—ah—your apartment?" he went on.
"Pleased?" said Miss Macks, looking at him in wonder. "With our
apartment? We get along with it because we must; there seems to be no
other way to live in Rome. The idea of having only a story of a house,
and not a whole house to ourselves, is dreadful to mother; she cannot
get used to it. And with so many families below us—we have a
clock-mender, a dress-maker, an engraver, a print-seller, and a
cobbler—and only one pair of stairs, it does seem to me dreadfully
public."
"You must look upon the stairway as a street," said Noel. "You have
established yourselves in a very short time."
"Oh yes. I got an agent, and looked at thirty places the very first day.
I speak Italian a little, so I can manage the house-keeping; I began to
study it as soon as we thought of coming, and I studied hard. But all
this is of secondary importance; the real thing is to get to work. Will
you look at my paintings now?" she said, rising as if to go for them.
"Thanks; I fear I have hardly time to-day," said Noel. He was thinking
whether it would be better to decline clearly and in so many words the
office she had thrust upon him, or trust to time to effect the same
without an open refusal. He decided upon the latter course; it seemed
the easier, and also the kinder to her.
"Well, another day, then," said Miss Macks, cheerfully, taking her seat
again. "But about a teacher?"
"I hardly know—"
"Oh, Mr. Noel! you must know."
And, in truth, he did know. It came into his mind to give her the name
of a good teacher, and then put all further responsibilities upon him.
Miss Macks wrote down the name in a clear, ornamental handwriting.
"I am glad it isn't a foreigner," she said. "I don't believe I should
get on with a foreigner."
"But it is a foreigner."
"Why, it's an English name, isn't it?—Jackson."
"Yes, he is an Englishman. But isn't an Englishman a foreigner in Rome?"
"Oh, you take that view? Now, to me, America and—well, yes, perhaps
England, too, are the nations. Everything else is foreign."
"The English would be very much obliged to you," said Noel, laughing.
"Yes, I know I am more liberal than most Americans; I really like the
English," said Miss Macks, calmly. "But we keep getting off the track.
Let me see—Oh yes. As I shall go to see this Mr. Jackson this
afternoon, and as it is not likely that he will be ready to begin
to-morrow, will you come then and look at my pictures? Or would you
rather commence with a visit to one of the galleries?"
Raymond Noel was beginning to be amused. If she had shown the faintest
indication of knowing how much she was asking, if she had betrayed the
smallest sign of a desire to secure his attention as Raymond Noel
personally, and not simply the art authority upon whom she had pinned
her faith, his disrelish for various other things about her would have
been heightened into utter dislike, and it is probable that he would
never have entered the street of the Hyacinth again. But she was so
unaware of any intrusion, or any exorbitance in her demands, probably so
ignorant of—certainly so indifferent to—the degree of perfection
(perfection of the most quiet kind, however) visible in the general
appearance and manner of the gentleman before her, that (he said to
himself) he might as well have been one of her own Tuscolee farmers, for
all she knew to the contrary. The whole affair was unusual; and Noel
rather liked the unusual, if it was not loud—and Miss Macks was, at
least, not loud; she was dressed plainly in black, and she had the gift
of a sweet voice, which, although very clear, was low-toned. Noel was an
observer of voices, and he had noticed hers the first time he heard her
speak. While these thoughts were passing through his mind, he was
answering that he feared his engagements for the next day would,
unfortunately, keep him from putting himself at her service.
Her face fell; she looked much disappointed.
"Is it going to be like this all the time?" she asked, anxiously. "Are
you always engaged?"
"In Rome, in the winter, one generally has small leisure. It will be the
same with you, Miss Macks, when you have been here a while longer; you
will see. As to the galleries, Mr. Jackson has a class, I think, and
probably the pupils will visit them all under his charge; you will find
that very satisfactory."
"But I don't want Mr. Jackson for the galleries; I want you," said
Miss Macks. "I have studied your art criticisms until I know them by
heart, and I have a thousand questions to ask about every picture you
have mentioned. Why, Mr. Noel, I came to Europe to see you!"
Raymond Noel was rather at a loss what to answer to this statement, made
by a girl who looked at him so soberly and earnestly with clear gray
eyes. It would be of no avail again to assure her that his opinions
would be of small use to her; as she had said herself, she was very
determined, and she had made up her mind that they would be of great use
instead of small. Her idea must wear itself out by degrees. He would try
to make the degrees easy. He decided that he would have a little private
talk with Jackson, who was a very honest fellow; and, for the present,
he would simply take leave.
"You are very kind," he said, rising. "I appreciate it, I assure you. It
has made me stay an unconscionable time. I hope you will find Rome all
you expected, and I am sure you will; all people of imagination like
Rome. As to the galleries, yes, certainly; a—ah—little later. You must
not forget the various small precautions necessary here as regards the
fever, you know."
"Rome will not be at all what I expected if you desert me," answered
Miss Macks, paying no attention to his other phrases. She had risen,
also, and was now confronting him at a distance of less than two feet;
as she was tall, her eyes were not much below the level of his own.
"How can a man desert when he has never enlisted?" thought Noel,
humorously. But he kept his thought to himself, and merely replied, as
he took his hat: "Probably you will desert me; you will find out how
useless I am. You must not be too hard upon us, Miss Macks; we Americans
lose much of our native energy if we stay long over here."
"Hard?" she answered—"hard? Why, Mr. Noel, I am absolutely at your
feet!"
He looked at her, slightly startled, although his face showed nothing of
it; was she, after all, going to—But no; her sentence had been as
impersonal as those which had preceded it.
"All I said about having contrary opinions, and all that, amounts to
nothing," she went on, thereby relieving him from the necessity of
making reply. "I desire but one thing, and that is to have you guide me.
And I don't believe you are really going to refuse. You haven't an
unkind face, although you have got such a cold way! Why, think of it:
here I have come all this long distance, bringing mother, too, just to
study, and to see you. I shall study hard; I have a good deal of
perseverance. It took a good deal to get here in the first place, for we
are poor. But I don't mind that at all; the only thing I should mind,
the only thing that would take my courage away, would be to have you
desert me. In all the troubles that I thought might happen, I assure
you, I never once thought of that, Mr. Noel. I thought, of course, you
would be interested. Why, in your books you are all interest. Are you
different from your books?"
"I fear, Miss Macks, that writers are seldom good illustrations of their
own doctrines," replied Noel.
"That would make them hypocrites. I don't believe you are a hypocrite. I
expect you have a habit of running yourself down. Many gentlemen do
that, and then they think they will be cried up. I don't believe you are
going to be unkind; you will look at the pictures I have brought with
me, won't you?"
"Mr. Jackson's opinion is worth a hundred of mine, Miss Macks; my
knowledge is not technical. But, of course, if you wish it, I shall take
pleasure in obeying." He added several conventional remarks as
filling-up, and then, leaving his compliments for "your mother"—he
could not recall the name she had given—he went towards the little
curtained door.
She had brightened over his promise.
"You will come Monday, then, to see them, won't you?—as you cannot come
to-morrow," she said, smiling happily.
When she smiled (and she did not smile often), showing her little white,
child-like teeth, she looked very young. He was fairly caught, and
answered, "Yes." But he immediately qualified it with a "That is, if it
is possible."
"Oh, make it possible," she answered, still smiling and going with him
herself to the outer door instead of summoning the maid. The last he saw
of her she was standing in the open doorway, her face bright and
contented, watching him as he went down. He did not go to see her
pictures on the following Monday; he sent a note of excuse.
Some days later he met her.
"Ah, you are taking one of the delightful walks?" he said. "I envy you
your first impressions of Rome."
"I am not taking a walk—that is, for pleasure," she answered. "I am
trying to find some vegetables that mother can eat; the vegetables here
are so foreign! You don't know how disappointed I was, Mr. Noel, when I
got your note. It was such a setback! Why couldn't you come right home
with me now—that is, after I have got the vegetables—and see the
pictures? It wouldn't take you fifteen minutes."
It was only nine o'clock, and a beautiful morning. He thought her such a
novelty, with her urgent invitations, her earnest eyes, and her basket
on her arm, that he felt the impulse to walk beside her a while through
the old streets of Rome; he was very fond of the old streets, and was
curious to see whether she would notice the colors and outlines that
made their picturesqueness. She noticed nothing but the
vegetable-stalls, and talked of nothing but her pictures.
He still went on with her, however, amused by the questions she put to
the vegetable-dealers (questions compiled from the phrase-books), and
the calm contempt with which she surveyed the Roman artichokes they
offered. At last she secured some beans, but of sadly Italian aspect,
and Noel took the basket. He was much entertained by the prospect of
carrying it home. He remarked to himself that of all the various things
he had done in Rome this was the freshest. They reached the street of
the Hyacinth and walked down its dark centre.
"I see you have the sun," he said, looking up.
"Yes; that is the reason we took the top floor. We will go right up.
Everything is ready."
He excused himself.
"Some other time."
They had entered the dusky hallway. She looked at him without replying;
then held out her hand for the basket. He gave it to her.
"I suppose you have seen Mr. Jackson?" he said, before taking leave.
She nodded, but did not speak. Then he saw two tears rise in her eyes.
"My dear young lady, you have been doing too much! You are tired. Don't
you know that that is very dangerous in Rome?"
"It is nothing. Mother has been sick, and I have been up with her two
nights. Then, as she did not like our servant, I dismissed her, and as
we have not got any one else yet, I have had a good deal to do. But I
don't mind that at all, beyond being a little tired; it was only your
refusing to come up, when it seemed so easy. But never mind; you will
come another day." And, repressing the tears, she smiled faintly, and
held out her hand for good-bye.
"I will come now," said Noel. He took the basket again, and went up the
stairs. He was touched by the two tears, but, at the same time, vexed
with himself for being there at all. There was not one chance in five
hundred that her work was worth anything; and, in the four hundred and
ninety-nine, pray what was he to say?
She brought him everything. They were all in the four hundred and
ninety-nine. In his opinion they were all extremely and essentially bad.
It was one of Raymond Noel's beliefs that, where women were concerned, a
certain amount of falsity was sometimes indispensable. There were
occasions when a man could no more tell the bare truth to a woman than
he could strike her; the effect would be the same as a blow. He was an
excellent evader when he chose to exert himself, and he finally got away
from the little high-up apartment without disheartening or offending its
young mistress, and without any very black record of direct
untruth—what is more, without any positive promise as to the exact date
of his next visit. But all this was a good deal of trouble to take for
a girl he did not know or care for.
Soon afterwards he met, at a small party, Mrs. Lawrence.
"Tell me a little, please, about the young lady to whom you presented me
at Mrs. Dudley's reception—Miss Macks," he said, after some
conversation.
"A little is all I can tell," replied Mrs. Lawrence. "She brought a
letter of introduction to me from a far-away cousin of mine, who lives
out West somewhere, and whom I have not seen for twenty years; my home,
you know, is in New Jersey. How they learned I was in Rome I cannot
imagine; but, knowing it, I suppose they thought that Miss Macks and I
would meet, as necessarily as we should if together in their own
village. The letter assures me that the girl is a great genius; that all
she needs is an opportunity. They even take the ground that it will be a
privilege for me to know her! But I am mortally tired of young geniuses;
we have so many here in Rome! So I told her at once that I knew nothing
of modern art—in fact, detested it—but that in any other way I should
be delighted to be of use. And I took her to Mrs. Dudley's omnium
gatherum."
"Then you have not been to see her?"
"No; she came to see me. I sent cards, of course; I seldom call. What
did you think of her?"
"I thought her charming," replied Noel, remembering the night-vigils,
the vegetables, the dismissed servant, and the two tears of the young
stranger—remembering, also, her extremely bad pictures.
"I am glad she has found a friend in you," replied Mrs. Lawrence. "She
was very anxious to meet you; she looks upon you as a great authority.
If she really has talent—of course you would know—you must tell me.
It is not talent I am so tired of, but the pretence of it. She struck
me, although wofully unformed and awkward, of course, as rather
intelligent."
"She is intelligence personified," replied Noel, qualifying it mentally
with "intelligence without cultivation." He perceived that the young
stranger would have no help from Mrs. Lawrence, and he added to himself:
"And totally inexperienced purity alone in Rome." To be sure, there was
the mother; but he had a presentiment that this lady, as guardian, would
not be of much avail.
The next day he went down to Naples for a week with some friends. Upon
his return he stopped at Horace Jackson's studio one afternoon as he
happened to be passing. His time was really much occupied; he was a
favorite in Rome. To his surprise, Jackson seemed to think that Miss
Macks had talent. Her work was very crude, of course; she had been
brutally taught; teachers of that sort should simply be put out of
existence with the bowstring. He had turned her back to the alphabet;
and, in time, in time, they—would see what she could do.
Horace Jackson was English by birth, but he had lived in Italy almost
all his life. He was a man of forty-five—short, muscular, his thick,
rather shaggy, beard and hair mixed with gray; there was a permanent
frown over his keen eyes, and his rugged face had marked lines. He was a
man of strong individuality. He had the reputation of being the most
incorruptibly honest teacher in Rome. Noel had known him a long time,
and liked him, ill-tempered though he was. Jackson, however, had not
shown any especial signs of a liking for Noel in return. Perhaps he
thought that, in the nature of things, there could not be much in common
between a middle-aged, morose teacher, who worked hard, who knew nothing
of society, and did not want to know, and a man like Raymond Noel. True,
Noel was also an artist—that is, a literary one. But he had been highly
successful in his own field, and it was understood, also, that he had an
income of his own by inheritance, which, if not opulence, was yet
sufficiently large to lift him quite above the usual res angusta of
his brethren in the craft. In addition, Jackson considered Noel a
fashionable man; and that would have been a barrier, even if there had
been no other.
As the Englishman seemed to have some belief in Miss Macks, Noel did not
say all he had intended to say; he did, however, mention that the young
lady had a mistaken idea regarding any use he could be to her; he should
be glad if she could be undeceived.
"I think she will be," said Jackson, with a grim smile, giving his guest
a glance of general survey that took him in from head to foot; "she
isn't dull."
Noel understood the glance, and smiled at Jackson's idea of him.
"She is not dull, certainly," he answered. "But she is
rather—inexperienced." He dismissed the subject, went home, dressed,
and went out to dinner.
One morning, a week later, he was strolling through the Doria gallery.
He was in a bad humor. There were many people in the gallery that day,
but he was not noticing them; he detested a crowd. After a while some
one touched his coat-sleeve from behind. He turned, with his calmest
expression upon his face; when he was in an ill-humor he was
impassively calm. It was Miss Macks, her eyes eager, her face flushed
with pleasure.
"Oh, what good luck!" she said. "And to think that I almost went to the
Borghese, and might have missed you! I am so delighted that I don't know
what to do. I am actually trembling." And she was. "I have so longed to
see these pictures with you," she went on. "I have had a real aching
disappointment about it, Mr. Noel."
Again Noel felt himself slightly touched by her earnestness. She looked
prettier than usual, too, on account of the color.
"I always feel a self-reproach when with you, Miss Macks," he
answered—"you so entirely over-estimate me."
"Well, if I do, live up to it," she said, brightly.
"Only an archangel could do that."
"An archangel who knows about Art! I have been looking at the Caraccis;
what do you think of them?"
"Never mind the Caraccis; there are better things to look at here." And
then he made the circuit of the gallery with her slowly, pointing out
the best pictures. During this circuit he talked to her as he would have
talked to an intelligent child who had been put in his charge in order
to learn something of the paintings; he used the simplest terms,
mentioned the marked characteristics, and those only of the different
schools, and spoke a few words of unshaded condemnation here and there.
All he said was in broad, plain outlines. His companion listened
earnestly. She gave him a close attention, almost always a
comprehension, but seldom agreement. Her disagreement she did not
express in words, but he could read it in her eyes. When they had seen
everything—and it took some time—
"Now," he said, "I want you to tell me frankly, and without reference to
anything I have said, your real opinion of several pictures I shall
name—that is, if you can remember?"
"I remember everything. I always remember."
"Very well. What do you think, then, of the Raphael double portrait?"
"I think it very ugly."
"And the portrait of Andrea Doria, by Sebastian del Piombo?"
"Uglier still."
"And the Velasquez?"
"Ugliest of all."
"And the two large Claude Lorraines?"
"Rather pretty; but insipid. There isn't any reality or meaning in
them."
"The Memling?"
"Oh, that is absolutely hideous, Mr. Noel; it hasn't a redeeming
point."
Raymond Noel laughed with real amusement, and almost forgot his
ill-humor.
"When you have found anything you really admire in the galleries here,
Miss Macks, will you tell me?"
"Of course I will. I should wish to do so in any case, because, if you
are to help me, you ought to thoroughly understand me. There is one
thing more I should like to ask," she added, as they turned towards the
door, "and that is that you would not call me Miss Macks. I am not used
to it, and it sounds strangely; no one ever called me that in Tuscolee."
"What did they call you in Tuscolee?"
"They called me Miss Ettie; my name is Ethelinda Faith. But my friends
and older people called me just 'Ettie'; I wish you would, too."
"I am certainly older," replied Noel, gravely (he was thirty-three);
"but I do not like Ettie. With your permission, I will call you Faith."
"Do you like it? It's so old-fashioned! It was my grandmother's name."
"I like it immensely," he answered, leading the way down-stairs.
"You can't think how I've enjoyed it," she said, warmly, at the door.
"Yet you do not agree with my opinions?"
"Not yet. But all the same it was perfectly delightful. Good-bye."
He had signalled for a carriage, as he had, as usual, an engagement. She
preferred to walk. He drove off, and did not see her for ten days.
Then he came upon her again and again in the Doria gallery. He was fond
of the Doria, and often went there, but he had no expectation of meeting
Miss Macks this time; he fancied that she followed a system, going
through her list of galleries in regular order, one by one, and in that
case she would hardly have reached the Doria on a second round. Her list
was a liberal one; it included twenty. Noel had supposed that there were
but nine in Rome.
This time she did not see him; she had some sheets of manuscript in her
hand, and was alternately reading from them and looking at one of the
pictures. She was much absorbed. After a while he went up.
"Good-morning, Miss Macks."
She started; her face changed, and the color rose. She was as delighted
as before. She immediately showed him her manuscript. There he beheld,
written out in her clear handwriting, all he had said of the Doria
pictures, page after page of it; she had actually reproduced from memory
his entire discourse of an hour.
There were two blank spaces left.
"There, I could not exactly remember," said Miss Macks, apologetically.
"If you would tell me, I should be so glad; then it would be quite
complete."
"I shall never speak again. I am frightened," said Noel. He had taken
the manuscript, and was looking it over with inward wonder.
"Oh, please do."
"Why do you care for my opinions, Miss Macks, when you do not agree with
them?" he asked, his eyes still on the pages.
"You said you would call me Faith. Why do I care? Because they are
yours, of course."
"Then you think I know?"
"I am sure you do."
"But it follows, then, that you do not."
"Yes; and there is where my work comes in; I have got to study up to
you. I am afraid it will take a long time, won't it?"
"That depends upon you. It would take very little if you would simply
accept noncombatively."
"Without being convinced? That I could never do."
"You want to be convinced against your will?"
"No; my will itself must be convinced to its lowest depths."
"This manuscript won't help you."
"Indeed, it has helped me greatly already. I have been here twice with
it. I wrote it out the evening after I saw you. I only wish I had one
for each of the galleries! But I feel differently now about asking you
to go."
"I told you you would desert me."
"No, it is not that. But Mr. Jackson says you are much taken up with the
fashionable society here, and that I must not expect you to give me so
much of your time as I had hoped for. He says, too, that your art
articles will do me quite as much good as you yourself, and more;
because you have a way, he says, like all society men, of talking as if
you had no real convictions at all, and that would unsettle me."
"Jackson is an excellent fellow," replied Noel; "I like him extremely.
And when would you like to go to the Borghese?"
"Oh, will you take me?" she said, joyfully. "Any time. To-morrow."
"Perhaps Mrs.—your mother, will go, also," he suggested, still unable
to recall the name; he could think of nothing but "stirrup," and of
course it was not that.
"I don't believe she would care about it," answered the daughter.
"She might. You know we make more of mothers here than we do in
America," he ventured to remark.
"That is impossible," said Miss Macks, calmly. Evidently she thought his
remark frivolous.
He abandoned the subject, and did not take it up again. It was not his
duty to instruct Miss Macks in foreign customs. In addition, she was not
only not "in society," but she was an art student, and art students had,
or took, privileges of their own in Rome.
"At what hour shall I come for you?" he said.
"It will be out of your way to come for me; I will meet you at the
gallery," she answered, radiant at the prospect.
He hesitated, then accepted her arrangement of things. He would take her
way, not his own. The next morning he went to the Borghese Palace ten
minutes before the appointed time. But she was already there.
"Mother thought she would not come out—the galleries tire her so," she
said; "but she was pleased to be remembered."
They spent an hour and a half among the pictures. She listened to all he
said with the same earnest attention.
Within the next five weeks Raymond Noel met Miss Macks at other
galleries. It was always very business-like—they talked of nothing but
the pictures; in truth, her systematic industry kept him strictly down
to the subject in hand. He learned that she made the same manuscript
copies of all he said, and, when he was not with her, she went alone,
armed with these documents, and worked hard. Her memory was remarkable;
she soon knew the names and the order of all the pictures in all the
galleries, and had made herself acquainted with an outline, at least, of
the lives of all the artists who had painted them. During this time she
was, of course, going on with her lessons; but as he had not been again
to see Jackson, or to the street of the Hyacinth, he knew nothing of her
progress. He did not want to know; she was in Jackson's hands, and
Jackson was quite competent to attend to her.
In these five weeks he gave to Miss Macks only the odd hours of his
leisure. He made her no promises; but when he found that he should have
a morning or half-morning unoccupied, he sent a note to the street of
the Hyacinth, naming a gallery and an hour. She was always promptly
there, and so pleased, that there was a sort of fresh aroma floating
through the time he spent with her, after all—but a mild one.
To give the proper position to the place the young art student's light
figure occupied on the canvas of Raymond Noel's winter, it should be
mentioned that he was much interested in a French lady who was spending
some months in Rome. He had known her and admired her for a long time;
but this winter he was seeing more of her, some barriers which had
heretofore stood in the way being down. Madame B—— was a charming
product of the effects of finished cultivation and fashionable life upon
a natural foundation of grace, wit, and beauty of the French kind. She
was not artificial, because she was art itself. Real art is as real as
real nature is natural. Raymond Noel had a highly artistic nature. He
admired art. This did not prevent him from taking up occasionally, as a
contrast to this lady, the society of the young girl he called "Faith."
Most men of imagination, artistic or not, do the same thing once in a
while; it seems a necessity. With Noel it was not the contrast alone.
The French lady led him an uneasy life, and now and then he took an hour
of Faith, as a gentle soothing draught of safe quality. She believed in
him so perfectly! Now Madame appeared to believe in him not at all.
It must be added that, in his conversations with Miss Macks, he had
dropped entirely even the very small amount of conventional gallantry
that he had bestowed upon her in the beginning. He talked to her not as
though she was a boy exactly, or an old woman, but as though he himself
was a relative of mature age—say an uncle of benevolent disposition and
a taste for art.
February gave way to March. And now, owing to a new position of his own
affairs, Noel saw no more of Faith Macks. She had been a contrast, and
he did not now wish for a contrast or a soothing draught, and a soothing
draught was not at present required. He simply forgot all about her.
In April he decided rather suddenly to leave Rome. This was because
Madame B—— had gone to Paris, and had not forbidden her American
suitor to follow her a few days later. He made his preparations for
departure, and these, of course, included farewell calls. Then he
remembered Faith Macks; he had not seen her for six weeks. He drove to
the street of the Hyacinth, and went up the dark stairs. Miss Macks was
at home, and came in without delay; apparently, in her trim neatness,
she was always ready for visitors.
She was very glad to see him; but did not, as he expected, ask why he
had not come before. This he thought a great advance; evidently she was
learning. When she heard that he had come to say good-bye her face fell.
"I am so very sorry; please sit as long as you can, then," she said,
simply. "I suppose it will be six months before I see you again; you
will hardly return to Rome before October." That he would come at that
time she did not question.
"My plans are uncertain," replied Noel. "But probably I shall come back.
One always comes back to Rome. And you—where do you go? To
Switzerland?"
"Why—we go nowhere, of course; we stay here. That is what we came for,
and we are all settled."
He made some allusion to the heat and unhealthiness.
"I am not afraid," replied Miss Macks. "Plenty of people stay; Mr.
Jackson says so. It is only the rich who go away, and we are not rich.
We have been through hot summers in Tuscolee, I can tell you!" Then,
without asking leave this time, as if she was determined to have an
opinion from him before he departed, she took from a portfolio some of
the work she had done under Mr. Jackson's instruction.
Noel saw at once that the Englishman had not kept his word. He had not
put her back upon the alphabet, or, if he had done so, he had soon
released her, and allowed her to pursue her own way again. The original
faults were as marked as ever. In his opinion all was essentially bad.
He looked in silence. But she talked on hopefully, explaining,
comparing, pointing out.
"What does Mr. Jackson think of this?" he said, selecting the one he
thought the worst.
"He admires the idea greatly; he thinks it very original. He says that
my strongest point is originality," she answered, with her confident
frankness.
"He means—ah—originality of subject?"
"Oh yes; my execution is not much yet. But that will come in time. Of
course, the subject, the idea, is the important thing; the execution is
secondary." Here she paused; something seemed to come into her mind. "I
know you do not think so," she added, thoughtfully, "because, you
know, you said"—and here she quoted a page from one of his art
articles with her clear accuracy. "I have never understood what you
meant by that, Mr. Noel; or why you wrote it."
She looked at him questioningly. He did not reply; his eyes were upon
one of the sketches.
"It would be dreadful for me if you were right!" she added, with slow
conviction.
"I thought you believed that I was always right," he said, smiling, as
he placed the sketches on the table.
But she remained very serious.
"You are—in everything but that."
He made some unimportant reply, and turned the conversation. But she
came back to it.
"It would be dreadful," she repeated, earnestly, with the utmost gravity
in her gray eyes.
"I hope the long summer will not tire you," he answered, irrelevantly.
"Shall I not have the pleasure of saying good-bye—although that, of
course, is not a pleasure—to Mrs.—to your mother?"
He should have made the speech in any case, as it was the proper one to
make; but as he sat there he had thought that he really would like to
have a look at the one guardian this young girl was to have during her
long, lonely summer in Rome.
"I will tell her. Perhaps when she hears that you are going away she
will feel like coming in," said Miss Macks.
She came back after some delay, and with her appeared a matron of
noticeable aspect.
"My mother," she said, introducing her (evidently Noel was never to get
the name); "this is Mr. Noel, mother."
"And very glad I am to see you, sir, I'm sure," said Mrs. Spurr,
extending her hand with much cordiality. "I said to Ettie that I'd come
in, seeing as 'twas you, though I don't often see strangers nowadays on
account of poor health for a long time past; rheumatism and asthma. But
I feel beholden to you, Mr. No-ul, because you've been so good to Ettie.
You've been real kind."
Ettie's mother was a very portly matron of fifty-five, with a broad
face, indistinct features, very high color, and a breathless, panting
voice. Her high color—it really was her most noticeable feature—was
surmounted by an imposing cap, adorned with large bows of scarlet
ribbon; a worsted shawl, of the hue known as "solferino," decked her
shoulders; under her low-necked collar reposed a bright blue necktie,
its ends embroidered in red and yellow; and her gown was of a vivid dark
green. But although her colors swore at each other, she seemed amiable.
She was also voluble.
Noel, while shaking hands, was considering, mentally, with some
retrospective amusement, his condition of mind if this lady had accepted
his invitations to visit the galleries.
"You must sit down, mother," said Miss Macks, bringing forward an
easy-chair. "She has not been so well as usual, lately," she said,
explanatorily, to Noel, as she stood for a moment beside her mother's
chair.
"It's this queer Eye-talian air," said Mrs. Spurr. "You see I ain't used
to it. Not but what I ain't glad to be here on Ettie's account—real
glad. It's just what she needs and oughter have."
The girl put her hand on her mother's shoulder with a little caressing
touch. Then she left the room.
"Yes, I do feel beholden to you, Mr. No-ul. But, then, she'll be a
credit to you, to whatever you've done for her," said Mrs. Spurr, when
they were left alone. "Her talunts are very remarkable. She was the head
scholar of the Young Ladies' Seminary through four whole years, and all
the teachers took a lot of pride in her. And then her paintings, too!
I'm sorry you're going off so soon. You see, she sorter depends upon
your opinion."
Noel felt a little stir at the edges of his conscience; he knew
perfectly that his opinion was that Miss Macks, as an artist, would
never do anything worth the materials she used.
"I leave her in good hands," he said.
After all, it was Jackson's responsibility, not his.
"Yes, Mr. Jackson thinks a deal of her. I can see that plain!" answered
Mrs. Spurr, proudly.
Here the daughter returned, bringing a little note-book and pencil.
"Do you know what these are for?" she said. "I want you to write down a
list of the best books for me to read this summer, while you are gone. I
am going to work hard; but if I have books, too, the time won't seem so
long."
Noel considered a moment. In one way her affairs were certainly none of
his business; in another way they were, because she had thrust them upon
him.
"I will not give you a list, Miss Macks; probably you would not be able
to find the books here. But I will send you, from Paris or London, some
things that are rather good, if you will permit me to do so."
She said he was very kind. Her face brightened.
"If she has appreciation enough to comprehend what I send her," he
thought, "perhaps in the end she will have a different opinion about my
'kindness'!"
Soon afterwards he took leave. The next day he went to Paris.
The events of Raymond Noel's life, after he left Rome that spring, were
various. Some were pleasant, some unpleasant; several were quite
unexpected. Their combinations and results kept him from returning to
Italy the following winter, and the winter after that he spent in Egypt.
When he again beheld the dome of St. Peter's he remembered that it
lacked but a month of two full years since he had said good-bye to it;
it was then April, and now it was March. He established himself in some
pleasant rooms, looked about him, and then began to take up, one by one,
the old threads of his Roman life—such, at least, as remained unbroken.
He found a good many. Threads do not break in Rome. He had once said
himself that the air was so soft and historic that nothing broke
there—not even hearts. But this was only one of his little speeches. In
reality he did not believe much in the breaking of hearts; he had seen
them stretch so!
It may be said with truth that Noel had not thought of Miss Macks for
months. This was because he had had other things to think of. He had
sent her the books from Paris, with an accompanying note, a charming
little note—which gave no address for reply. Since then his mind had
been otherwise occupied. But as he never entirely forgot anything that
had once interested him, even although but slightly (this was in
reality a system of his; it gave him many holds on life, and kept
stored up a large supply of resources ready for use when wanted), he
came, after a while, on the canvas of his Roman impressions, to the
figure of Miss Macks. When he came to it he went to see her; that is, he
went to the street of the Hyacinth.
Of course, she might not be there; a hundred things might have happened
to her. He could have hunted up Horace Jackson; but, on the whole, he
rather preferred to see the girl herself first—that is, if she was
there. Mrs. Lawrence, the only person among his acquaintances who had
known her, was not in Rome. Reaching the street of the Hyacinth, he
interrogated the old woman who acted as portress at the lower door,
keeping up at the same time a small commerce in fritters; yes, the
Americans were still on the fourth floor. He ascended the dark stairway.
The confiding little "Ettie" card was no longer upon the door. In its
place was a small framed sign: "Miss Macks' School."
This told a story!
However, he rang. It was the same shrill, ill-tempered little bell, and
when the door opened it was Miss Macks herself who opened it. She was
much changed.
The parlor had been turned into a school-room—at present empty of
pupils. But even as a school-room it was more attractive than it had
been before. He took a seat, and spoke the usual phrases of a renewal of
acquaintance with his accustomed ease and courtesy; Miss Macks responded
briefly. She said that her mother was not very well; she herself quite
well. No, they had not left Italy, nor indeed the neighborhood of Rome;
they had been a while at Albano.
The expression of her face had greatly altered. The old direct, wide
glance was gone; gone also what he had called her over-confidence; she
looked much older. On the other hand, there was more grace in her
bearing, more comprehension of life in her voice and eyes. She was
dressed as plainly as before; but everything, including the arrangement
of her hair, was in the prevalent style.
She did not speak of her school, and therefore he did not. But after a
while he asked how the painting came on. Her face changed a little; but
it was more in the direction of a greater calm than hesitation or
emotion.
"I am not painting now," she answered.
"You have given it up temporarily?"
"Permanently."
"Ah—isn't that rather a pity?"
She looked at him, and a gleam of scorn filtered into the glance.
"You know it is not a pity," she said.
He was a little disgusted at the scorn. Of course, the only ground for
him to take was the ground upon which she stood when he last saw her; at
that time she proposed to pass her life in painting, and it was but good
manners for him to accept her intentions as she had presented them.
"I never assumed to be a judge, you know," he answered. "When I last had
the pleasure of seeing you, painting was, you remember, your cherished
occupation!"
"When you last had the pleasure of seeing me, Mr. Noel," said Miss
Macks, still with unmoved calm, "I was a fool."
Did she wish to go into the subject at length? Or was that merely an
exclamation?
"When I last had the pleasure of seeing you, you were taking lessons of
Mr. Jackson," he said, to give a practical turn to the conversation. "Is
he still here? How is he?"
"He is very well, now. He is dead."
(She was going to be dramatic then, in any case.)
He expressed his regret, and it was a sincere one; he had always liked
and respected the honest, morose Englishman. He asked a question or two.
Miss Macks replied that he had died here in the street of the
Hyacinth—in the next room. He had fallen ill during the autumn
following Noel's departure, and when his illness grew serious, they—her
mother and herself—had persuaded him to come to them. He had lived a
month longer, and died peacefully on Christmas Eve.
"He was one of the most honest men I ever knew," said Noel. Then, as she
did not reply, he ventured this: "That was the reason I recommended him
when you asked me to select a teacher for you."
"Your plan was made useless by an unfortunate circumstance," she
answered, with an evident effort.
"A circumstance?"
"Yes; he fell in love with me. If I did not consider his pure, deep, and
devoted affection the greatest honor of my life I would not mention it.
I tell you because it will explain to you his course."
"Yes, it explains," said Noel. As he spoke there came across him a
realization of the whole of the strength of the love such a man as
Horace Jackson would feel, and the way in which it would influence him.
Of course, he saw to the full the imperfection of her work, the utter
lack of the artist's conception, the artist's eye and touch; but
probably he had loved her from the beginning, and had gone on hoping to
win her love in return. She was not removed from him by any distance;
she was young, but she was also poor, friendless, and alone. When she
was his wife he would tell her the truth, and in the greatness of his
love the revelation would be naught. "He was a good man," he said. "He
was always lonely. I am glad that at last he was with your mother and
you."
"His goodness was simply unbounded. If he had lived he would have
remained always a faithful, kind, and respectful son to my dear mother.
That, of course, would have been everything to me." She said this
quietly, yet her tone seemed to hold intention.
For a moment he thought that perhaps she had married the Englishman, and
was now his widow. The sign on the door bore her maiden name, but that
might have been an earlier venture.
"Had you opened your school at that time?" he asked. "I may speak of it,
since, of course, I saw the sign upon the door."
"Not until two months later; I had the sign made then. But it was of
little use; day-schools do not prosper in Rome; they are not the custom.
I have a small class twice a week, but I live by going out as
day-governess. I have a number of pupils of that kind; I have been very
successful. The old Roman families have a fancy for English-speaking
governesses, you know. Last summer I was with the Princess C——, at
Albano; her children are my pupils."
"Her villa is a delightful one," said Noel; "you must have enjoyed
that."
"I don't know that I enjoyed, but I learned. I have learned a great
deal in many ways since I saw you last, Mr. Noel. I have grown very
old."
"As you were especially young when you saw me last it does not matter
much," he answered, smiling.
"Yes, I was especially young." She looked at him soberly. "I do not feel
bitterly towards you," she continued. "Strange! I thought I should. But
now that I see you in person it comes over me that, probably, you did
not intend to deceive me; that not only you tried to set me right by
selecting Mr. Jackson as my teacher, but again you tried when you sent
me those books. It was not much to do! But knowing the world as I now
know it, I see that it was all that could have been expected. At first,
however, I did not see this. After I went to Mr. Bellot, and, later, to
Mr. Salviati, there were months when I felt very bitterly towards you.
My hopes were false ones, and had been so from the beginning; you knew
that they were, yet you did not set me right."
"I might have done more than I did," answered Noel. "I have a habit of
not assuming responsibility; I suppose I have grown selfish. But if you
went to Bellot, then it was not Jackson who told you?"
"He intimated something when he asked me to marry him; after that his
illness came on, and we did not speak of it again. But I did not believe
him. I was very obstinate. I went to Mr. Bellot the 1st of January; I
wished him to take me as pupil. In answer he told me that I had not a
particle of talent; that all my work was insufferably bad; that I better
throw away my brushes and take in sewing."
"Bellot is always a brute!" said Noel.
"If he told the truth brutally, it was still the truth; and it was the
truth I needed. But even then I was not convinced, and I went to Mr.
Salviati. He was more gentle; he explained to me my lacks; but his
judgment was the same. I came home; it was the 10th of January, a
beautiful Roman winter day. I left my pictures, went over to St.
Peter's, and walked there under its bright mosaics all the afternoon.
The next day I had advertisements of a day-school placed at the bankers'
and in the newspapers. I thought that I could teach better than I could
sew." All this she said with perfect calm.
"I greatly admire your bravery, Miss Macks. Permit me to add that I
admire, even more, the clear, strong, good sense which has carried you
through."
"I had my mother to think of; my—good sense might not have been so
faithful otherwise."
"You do not think of returning to America?"
"Probably not; I doubt if my mother could bear the voyage now. We have
no one to call us back but my brother, and he has not been with us for
years, and would not be if we should return; he lives in California. We
sold the farm, too, before we came. No; for the present, at least, it is
better for us to remain here."
"There is one more question I should like to ask," said Noel, later.
"But I have no possible right to do so."
"I will give you the right. When I remember the things I asked you to do
for me, the demands I made upon your time, I can well answer a few
questions in return. I was a miracle of ignorance."
"I always did you justice in those respects, Miss Macks; all that I
understood at once. My question refers to Horace Jackson: I see you
appreciated his worth—which was rare—yet you would not marry him."
"I did not love him."
"Did any of his relatives come out from England?" he said, after a
moment of silence.
"After his death a cousin came."
"As heir to what was left?"
"Yes."
"He should have left it to you."
"He wished to do so. Of course, I would not accept it."
"I thank you for answering. My curiosity was not an idle one." He
paused. "If you will permit me to express it, your course has been very
brave and true. I greatly admire it."
"You are kind," said Miss Macks.
There was not in her voice any indication of sarcasm. Yet the fact that
he immediately thought of it made him suspect that it was there. He took
leave soon afterwards. He was smarting a little under the sarcasm he had
divined, and, as he was, it was like him to request permission to come
again.
For Raymond Noel lived up with a good deal of determination to his own
standard of what was manly; if his standard was not set on any very fine
elevation of self-sacrifice or heroism, it was at least firmly
established where it did stand, and he kept himself fairly near it. If
Miss Macks was sarcastic, he had been at fault somewhere; he would try
to atone.
He saw her four times during the five weeks of his stay in Rome; upon
three other occasions when he went to the street of the Hyacinth she was
not at home. The third week in April he decided to go to Venice. Before
going he asked if there was not something he could do for her; but she
said there was nothing, and he himself could think of nothing. She was
well established in her new life and occupations, and needed nothing—at
least, nothing that he could bestow.
The next winter he came back to Rome early in the season, before
Christmas. By chance one of the first persons he encountered was Mrs.
Lawrence. She began immediately to tell him a piece of American news, in
which he, as an American, would of course be interested; the news was
that "the brother of the Princess C—— —that is Count L——, you
know—is determined to marry Ettie Macks. You remember her, don't you? I
introduced you to her at the Dudley reception, three years ago."
Noel thought that probably he remembered her better than Mrs. Lawrence
did, seeing that that lady had never troubled herself to enter the
street of the Hyacinth. But he did her injustice. Mrs. Lawrence had
troubled herself—lately.
"It seems that she has been out at Albano for two summers, as governess
to his sister's children; it was there that he saw her. He has announced
his determination to the family, and they are immensely disturbed and
frightened; they had it all arranged for him to marry a second cousin
down at Naples, who is rich—these Italians are so worldly, you know!
But he is very determined, they say, and will do as he pleases in spite
of them. He hasn't much money, but of course it's a great match for
Ettie Macks. She will be a countess, and now, I suppose, more American
girls will come over than ever before! Of course, as soon as I heard of
it, I went to see her. I felt that she would need advice about a hundred
things. In the beginning she brought a letter of introduction to me from
a dear cousin of mine, and, naturally, she would rely upon me as her
chief friend now. She is very much improved. She was rather silent; but,
of course, I shall go again. The count is willing to take the mother,
too, and that, under the circumstances, is not a small matter; she is a
good deal to take. Until the other day I had not seen Mrs. Spurr!
However, I suppose that her deficiencies are not apparent in a language
she cannot speak. If her daughter would only insist upon her dressing in
black! But the old lady told me herself, in the most cheerful way, that
she liked 'a sprinkling of color.' And at the moment, I assure you, she
had on five different shades of red!"
Noel had intended to present himself immediately at the street of the
Hyacinth; but a little attack of illness kept him in for a while, and
ten days had passed before he went up the dark stairway. The maid said
that Miss Macks was at home; presently she came in. They had ten minutes
of conversation upon ordinary topics, and then he took up the especial
one.
"I am told that you are soon to be a countess," he said, "and I have
come to give you my best good wishes. My congratulations I reserve for
Count L——, with whom I have a slight acquaintance; he is, in my
opinion, a very fortunate man."
"Yes, I think he is fortunate; fortunate in my refusal. I shall not
marry Count L——."
"He is not a bad fellow."
"Isn't your praise somewhat faint?" This time the sarcasm was visible.
"Oh, I am by no means his advocate! All I meant was that, as these
modern Romans go, he was not among the worst. Of course I should have
expressed myself very differently if you had said you were to marry
him."
"Yes; you would then have honored me with your finest compliments."
He did not deny this.
"Shall you continue to live in Rome?" he asked.
"Certainly. I shall have more pupils and patronage now than I know what
to do with; the whole family connection is deeply obliged to me."
They talked awhile longer.
"We have always been unusually frank with each other, Miss Macks," he
said, towards the end of his visit. "We have never stopped at
conventionalities. I wonder if you will tell me why you refused him?"
"You are too curious. As to frankness, I have been frank with you; not
you with me. And there was no conventionality, simply because I did not
know what it was."
"I believe you are in love with some one in America," he said, laughing.
"Perhaps I am," answered Miss Macks. She had certainly gained greatly in
self-possession during the past year.
He saw her quite frequently after this. Her life was no longer solitary.
As she had said, she was overwhelmed with pupils and patronage from the
friends of the Princess C——; in addition, the American girl who had
refused a fairly-indorsed and well-appearing count was now something of
a celebrity among the American visitors in Rome. That they knew of her
refusal was not her fault; the relatives of Count L—— had announced
their objections as loud and widely as the count had announced his
determination. Apparently neither side had thought of a non-acceptance.
Cards, not a few, were sent to the street of the Hyacinth; some persons
even climbed the five flights of stairs. Mrs. Spurr saw a good deal of
company—and enjoyed it.
Noel was very fond of riding; when in Rome he always rode on the
Campagna. He had acted as escort to various ladies, and one day he
invited Miss Macks to accompany him—that is, if she were fond of
riding. She had ridden in America, and enjoyed it; she would like to go
once, if he would not be troubled by an improvised habit. They went
once. Then a second time, an interval of three weeks between. Then,
after a while, a third time.
Upon this occasion an accident happened, the first of Noel's life; his
horse became frightened, and, skilled rider though he was, he was
thrown. He was dragged, too, for a short distance. His head came against
some stones, and he lost consciousness. When it came back it did not
come wholly. He seemed to himself to be far away, and the girl who was
weeping and calling his name to be upon the other side of a wide space
like an ocean, over which, without volition of his own, he was being
slowly wafted. As he came nearer, still slowly, he perceived that in
some mysterious way she was holding in her arms something that seemed to
be himself, although he had not yet reached her. Then, gradually, spirit
and body were reunited, he heard what she was saying, and felt her
touch. Even then it was only after several minutes that he was able to
move and unclose his heavy eyes.
When she saw that he was not dead, her wild grief was at once merged in
the thought of saving him. She had jumped from her horse, she knew not
how; but he had not strayed far; a shepherd had seen him, and was now
coming towards them. He signalled to another, and the two carried Noel
to a house which was not far distant. A messenger was sent to the city;
aid came, and before night Noel was in his own rooms at the head of the
Via Sistina, near the Spanish steps.
His injuries proved to be not serious; he had lost consciousness from
the shock, and this, with his pallor and the blood from the cuts made by
the stones, had given him the look of death. The cuts, however, were not
deep; the effect of the shock passed away. He kept his bed for a week
under his physician's advice; he had a good deal of time to think during
that week. Later his friends were admitted. As has been said before,
Noel was a favorite in Rome, and he had friends not a few. Those who
could not come in person sent little notes and baskets of flowers. Among
these Miss Macks was not numbered. But then she was not fashionable.
At the end of two weeks the patient was allowed to go out. He took a
short walk to try his strength, and, finding that it held out well, he
went to the street of the Hyacinth.
Miss Macks was at home. She was "so glad" to see him out again; and was
he "really strong enough;" and he "should be very prudent for a while;"
and so forth and so forth. She talked more than usual, and, for her,
quite rapidly.
He let her go on for a time. Then he took the conversation into his own
hands. With few preliminaries, and with much feeling in his voice and
eyes, he asked her to be his wife.
She was overwhelmed with astonishment; she turned very white, and did
not answer. He thought she was going to burst into tears. But she did
not; she only sat gazing at him, while her lips trembled. He urged his
point; he spoke strongly.
"You are worth a hundred of me," he said. "You are true and sincere; I
am a dilettante in everything. But, dilettante as I am, in one way I
have always appreciated you, and, lately, all other ways have become
merged in that one. I am much in earnest; I know what I am doing; I have
thought of it searchingly and seriously, and I beg you to say yes."
He paused. Still she did not speak.
"Of course I do not ask you to separate yourself from your mother," he
went on, his eyes dropping for the moment to the brim of his hat, which
he held in his hand; "I shall be glad if she will always make her home
with us."
Then she did speak. And as her words came forth, the red rose in her
face until it was deeply colored.
"With what an effort you said that! But you will not be tried. One gray
hair in my mother's head is worth more to me, Mr. Noel, than anything
you can offer."
"I knew before I began that this would be the point of trouble between
us, Faith," he answered. "I can only assure you that she will find in me
always a most respectful son."
"And when you were thinking so searchingly and seriously, it was this
that you thought of—whether you could endure her! Do you suppose that I
do not see the effort? Do you suppose I would ever place my mother in
such a position? Do you suppose that you are of any consequence beside
her, or that anything in this world weighs in my mind for one moment
compared with her happiness?"
"We can make her happy; I suppose that. And I suppose another thing, and
that is that we could be very happy ourselves if we were married."
"The Western girl, the girl from Tuscolee! The girl who thought she
could paint, and could not! The girl who knew so little of social rules
that she made a fool of herself every time she saw you!"
"All this is of no consequence, since it is the girl I love," answered
Noel.
"You do not. It is a lie. Oh, of course, a very unselfish and noble one;
but a lie, all the same. You have thought of it seriously and
searchingly? Yes, but only for the last fourteen days! I understand it
all now. At first I did not, I was confused; but now I see the whole.
You were not unconscious out there on the Campagna; you heard what I
said when I thought you were dying, or dead. And so you come—come very
generously and self-sacrificingly, I acknowledge that—and ask me to be
your wife." She rose; her eyes were brilliant as she faced him. "I might
tell you that it was only the excitement, that I did not know or mean
what I was saying; I might tell you that I did not know that I had said
anything. But I am not afraid. I will not, like you, tell a lie, even
for a good purpose. I did love you; there, you have it! I have loved you
for a long time, to my sorrow and shame. For I do not respect you or
admire you; you have been completely spoiled, and will always remain so.
I shall make it the one purpose of my life from this moment to overcome
the feeling I have had for you; and I shall succeed. Nothing could make
me marry you, though you should ask me a thousand times."
"I shall ask but once," said Noel. He had risen also; and, as he did, he
remembered the time when they had stood in the same place and position,
facing each other, and she had told him that she was at his feet. "I did
hear what you said. And it is of that I have been seriously thinking
during the days of my confinement to the house. It is also true that it
is what you said which has brought me here to-day. But the reason is
that it has become precious to me—this knowledge that you love me. As I
said before, in one way I have always done you justice, and it is that
way which makes me realize to the full now what such a love as yours
would be to me. If it is true that I am spoiled, as you say I am, a love
like yours would make me better, if anything can." He paused. "I have
not said much about my own feelings," he added; "I know you will not
credit me with having any. But I think I have. I think that I love you."
"It is of little moment to me whether you do or not."
"You are making a mistake," he said, after a pause, during which their
eyes had met in silence.
"The mistake would be to consent."
She had now recovered her self-possession. She even smiled a little.
"Imagine Mr. Raymond Noel in the street of the Hyacinth!" she said.
"Ah, I should hardly wish to live here; and my wife would naturally be
with me."
"I hope so. And I hope she will be very charming and obedient and
sweet." Then she dropped her sarcasms, and held out her hand in
farewell. "There is no use in prolonging this, Mr. Noel. Do not think,
however, that I do not appreciate your action; I do appreciate it. I
said that I did not respect you, and I have not until now; but now I do.
You will understand, of course, that I would rather not see you again,
and refrain from seeking me. Go your way, and forget me; you can do so
now with a clear conscience, for you have behaved well."
"It is not very likely that I shall forget you," answered Noel,
"although I go my way. I see you are firmly resolved. For the present,
therefore, all I can do is to go."
They shook hands, and he left her. As he passed through the small hall
on his way to the outer door he met Mrs. Spurr; she was attired as
opulently, in respect to colors, as ever, and she returned his greeting
with much cordiality. He glanced back; Miss Macks had witnessed the
meeting through the parlor door. Her color had faded; she looked sad and
pale.
She kept her word; she did not see him again. If he went to the street
of the Hyacinth, as he did two or three times, the little maid presented
him with the Italian equivalent of "begs to be excused," which was
evidently a standing order. If he wrote to her, as he did more than two
or three times, she returned what he wrote, not unread, but without
answer. He thought perhaps he should meet her, and was at some pains to
find out her various engagements. But all was in vain; the days passed,
and she remained invisible. Towards the last of May he left Rome. After
leaving, he continued to write to her, but he gave no address for
reply; she would now be obliged either to burn his letters or keep them,
since she could no longer send them back. They could not have been
called love-letters; they were friendly epistles, not long—pleasant,
easy, sometimes amusing, like his own conversation. They came once a
week. In addition he sent new books, and occasionally some other small
remembrance.
In early September of that year there came to the street of the Hyacinth
a letter from America. It was from one of Mrs. Spurr's old neighbors at
Tuscolee, and she wrote to say that John Macks had come home—had come
home broken in health and spirits, and, as he himself said, to die. He
did not wish his mother to know; she could not come to him, and it would
only distress her. He had money enough for the short time that was left
him, and when she heard it would be only that he had passed away; he had
passed from her life in reality years before. In this John Macks was
sincere. He had been a ne'er-do-well, a rolling stone; he had not been a
dutiful son. The only good that could be said of him, as far as his
mother was concerned, was contained in the fact that he had not made
demands upon her small purse since the sum he took from her when he
first went away. He had written to her at intervals, briefly. His last
letter had come eight months before.
But the Tuscolee neighbor was a mother herself, and, doing as she would
be done by, she wrote to Rome. When her letter came Mrs. Spurr was
overwhelmed with grief; but she was also stirred to an energy and
determination which she had never shown before. For the first time in
years she took the leadership, put her daughter decisively back into a
subordinate place, and assumed the control. She would go to America. She
must see her boy (the dearest child of the two, as the prodigal always
is) again. But even while she was planning her journey illness seized
her—her old rheumatic troubles, only more serious than before; it was
plain that she could not go. She then required that her daughter should
go in her place—go and bring her boy to Rome; this soft Italian air
would give new life to his lungs. Oh, she should not die! Ettie need not
be afraid of that. She would live for years just to get one look at him!
And so it ended in the daughter's departure, an efficient nurse being
left in charge; the physician said that although Mrs. Spurr would
probably be crippled, she was in no danger otherwise.
Miss Macks left Rome on the 15th of September. On the 2d of December she
again beheld the dome of St. Peter's rising in the blue sky. She saw it
alone. John Macks had lived three weeks after her arrival at Tuscolee,
and those three weeks were the calmest and the happiest of his
unsuccessful—unworthy it may be—but also bitterly unhappy life. His
sister did not judge him. She kissed him good-bye as he lost
consciousness, and soon afterwards closed his eyes tenderly, with tears
in her own. Although he was her brother, she had never known him; he
went away when she was a child. She sat beside him a long time after he
was dead, watching the strange, youthful peace come back to his worn
face.
When she reached the street of the Hyacinth a carriage was before the
door; carriages of that sort were not often required by the dwellers on
the floors below their own, and she was rather surprised. She had heard
from her mother in London, the nurse acting as amanuensis; at that time
Mrs. Spurr was comfortable, although still confined to her bed most of
the day. As she was paying her driver she heard steps on the stairway
within. Then she beheld this: The nurse, carrying a pillow and shawls;
next, her mother, in an invalid-chair, borne by two men; and last,
Raymond Noel.
When Mrs. Spurr saw her daughter she began to cry. She had not expected
her until the next day. Her emotion was so great that the drive was
given up, and she was carried back to her room. Noel did not follow her;
he shook hands with the new-comer, said that he would not detain her,
and then, lifting his hat, he stepped into the carriage which was
waiting and was driven away.
For two days Mrs. Spurr wished for nothing but to hear, over and over
again, every detail of her boy's last hours. Then the excitement and
renewed grief made her dangerously ill. After ten days she began to
improve; but two weeks passed before she came back to the present
sufficiently to describe to her daughter all "Mr. No-ul's kind
attentions." He had returned to Rome the first of October, and had come
at once to the street of the Hyacinth. Learning what had happened, he
had devoted himself to her "most as if he was my real son, Ettie, I do
declare! Of course, he couldn't never be like my own darling boy,"
continued the poor mother, overlooking entirely, with a mother's sublime
forgetfulness, the small amount of devotion her boy had ever bestowed;
"but he's just done everything he could, and there's no denying that."
"He has not been mentioned in your letters, mother."
"Well, child, I just told Mrs. Bowler not to. For he said himself,
frankly, that you might not like it; but that he'd make his peace with
you when you come back. I let him have his way about it, and I have
enjoyed seeing him. He's the only person I've seen but Mrs. Bowler and
the doctor, and I'm mortal tired of both."
During Mrs. Spurr's second illness Noel had not come in person to the
street of the Hyacinth; he had sent to inquire, and fruits and flowers
came in his name. Miss Macks learned that these had come from the
beginning.
When three weeks had passed Mrs. Spurr was back in her former place as
regarded health. One of her first requests was to be taken out to drive;
during her daughter's absence Mr. Noel had taken her five times, and she
had greatly enjoyed the change. It was not so simple a matter for the
daughter as it had been for Mr. Noel; her purse was almost empty; the
long journeys and her mother's illness had exhausted her store. Still
she did it. Mrs. Spurr wished to go to the Pincio. Her daughter thought
the crowd there would be an objection.
"It didn't tire me one bit when Mr. No-ul took me," said Mrs. Spurr, in
an aggrieved tone; "and we went there every single time—just as soon as
he found out that I liked it. What a lot of folks he does know, to be
sure! They kept him a-bowing every minute."
The day after this drive Mr. Noel came to the street of the Hyacinth. He
saw Miss Macks. Her manner was quiet, a little distant; but she thanked
him, with careful acknowledgment of every item, for his kind attentions
to her mother. He said little. After learning that Mrs. Spurr was much
better he spoke of her own health.
"You have had two long, fatiguing journeys, and you have been acting as
nurse; it would be well for you to give yourself entire rest for several
weeks at least."
She replied, coldly, that she was perfectly well, and turned the
conversation to subjects less personal. He did not stay long. As he rose
to take leave, he said:
"You will let me come again, I hope? You will not repeat the 'not at
home' of last spring?"
"I would really much rather not see you, Mr. Noel," she answered, after
hesitating.
"I am sorry. But of course I must submit." Then he went away.
Miss Macks now resumed her burdens. She was obliged to take more pupils
than she had ever accepted before, and to work harder. She had not only
to support their little household, but there were now debts to pay. She
was out almost the whole of every day.
After she had entered upon her winter's work Raymond Noel began to come
again to the street of the Hyacinth. But he did not come to see her; his
visits were to her mother. He came two or three times a week, and always
during the hours when the daughter was absent. He sat and talked to Mrs.
Spurr, or rather listened to her, in a way that greatly cheered that
lady's monotonous days. She told him her whole history; she minutely
described Tuscolee and its society; and, finally, he heard the whole
story of "John." In addition, he sent her various little delicacies,
taking pains to find something she had not had.
Miss Macks would have put an end to this if she had known how. But
certainly Mr. Noel was not troubling her, and Mrs. Spurr resented any
attempt at interference.
"I don't see why you should object, Ettie. He seems to like to come, and
there's but few pleasures left to me, I'm sure! You oughtn't to grudge
them!"
In this way two months passed, Noel continuing his visits, and Miss
Macks continuing her lessons. She was working very hard. She now looked
not only pale, but much worn. Count L——, who had been long absent,
returned to Rome about this time. He saw her one day, although she did
not see him. The result of this vision of her was that he went down to
Naples, and, before long, the desirable second cousin with the fortune
was the sister of the Princess C——.
One afternoon in March Miss Macks was coming home from the broad, new,
tiresome piazza Indipendenza; the distance was long, and she walked with
weariness. As she drew near the dome of the Pantheon she met Raymond
Noel. He stopped, turned, and accompanied her homeward. She had three
books.
"Give them to me," he said, briefly, taking them from her.
"Do you know what I have heard to-day?" he went on. "They are going to
tear down your street of the Hyacinth. The Government has at last
awakened to the shame of allowing all those modern accretions to
disfigure longer the magnificent old Pagan temple. All the streets in
the rear, up to a certain point, are to be destroyed. And the street of
the Hyacinth goes first. You will be driven out."
"I presume we can find another like it."
He went on talking about the Pantheon until they entered the doomed
street; it was as obstinately narrow and dark as ever. Then he dropped
his Pagan temple.
"How much longer are you going to treat me in this way, Faith?" he said.
"You make me very unhappy. You are wearing yourself out, and it troubles
me greatly. If you should fall ill I think that would be the end. I
should then take matters into my own hands, and I don't believe you
would be able to keep me off. But why should we wait for illness? It is
too great a risk."
They were approaching her door. She said nothing, only hastened her
steps.
"I have been doing my best to convince you, without annoying you, that
you were mistaken about me. And the reason I have been doing it is that
I am convinced myself. If I was not entirely sure last spring that I
loved you, I certainly am sure now. I spent the summer thinking of it. I
know now, beyond the possibility of a doubt, that I love you above all
and everything. There is no 'duty' or 'generosity' in this, but simply
my own feelings. I could perfectly well have let the matter drop; you
gave me every opportunity to do so. That I have not done it should show
you—a good deal. For I am not of the stuff of which heroes are made. I
should not be here unless I wanted to; my motive is the selfish one of
my own happiness."
They had entered the dark hallway.
"Do you remember the morning when you stood here, with two tears in your
eyes, saying 'Never mind; you will come another time'?" (Here the
cobbler came down the stairs.) "Why not let the demolition of the street
of the Hyacinth be the crisis of our fate?" he went on, returning the
cobbler's bow. (Here the cobbler departed.) "If you refuse, I shall not
give you up; I shall go on in the same way. But—haven't I been tried
long enough?"
"You have not," she answered. "But, unless you will leave Rome, and—me,
I cannot bear it longer."
It was a great downfall, of course; Noel always maintained that it was.
"But the heights upon which you had placed yourself, my dear, were too
superhuman," he said, excusingly.
The street of the Hyacinth experienced a great downfall, also. During
the summer it was demolished.
Before its demolition Mrs. Lawrence, after three long breaths of
astonishment, had come to offer her congratulations—in a new direction
this time.
"It is the most fortunate thing in the world," she said to everybody,
"that Mrs. Spurr is now confined to her bed for life, and is obliged to
wear mourning."
But Mrs. Spurr is not confined to her bed; she drives out with her
daughter whenever the weather is favorable. She wears black, but is now
beginning to vary it with purple and lavender.