It was high carnival in Gratz city. In the evenings,
a mad thronging in the streets, a well-nigh deafening
rattling of carriages, a yelling and shouting, a flaring
and glaring from the shops and stalls and from the
hundreds of lamps and numberless transparencies in the
windows. Gold and silver, silks and damasks gleamed in
the shop-fronts. Masks of every hue and shape grinned
beside them. Ha, what a mad thing life can be!
I hurried through the crowd. The clock on the castle
hill struck six: six strokes so clear that they outrang all
the din and re-echoed from the tall, light-pierced walls of
the houses. The summons of the clock is a stern admonisher:
let man play as childishly as he will with
tinsel pleasures and light dalliance, it counts the hours
out to him and gives him not a minute's grace.
I went home to my quiet room and was soon in bed.
Next morning, the winter sun lay shining on the snow-clad
roofs; and I was jotting down the fairy-tale of the
Lost Child, when someone knocked at my door. A man
entered and handed me a telegram:
"Dear son, yesterday evening, at six o'clock, our dear
mother passed away. Come home, we are expecting you
in the greatest affliction. Your father."
Last evening it had happened, in the poor cottage,
while I was striding through the worldly turmoil. And
at six o'clock!
Early next morning, I was in the parish village. I
entered on the road alone, over hills glittering with snow
and through long woods, far into the lonely mountain
valley. I had walked that road endless times before,
had always delighted in the glistening snow, in the sparkling
icicles, in the snowy mantles of the boughs, or, if
it was summer, in the green leaves and the blossoms and
the fragrance, in the song of the birds, in the drops of light
that trickled through the branches, in the profound
peace and loneliness. How often had I gone that way
with mother, when she was still well and in her prime,
and, later, when, crippled through illness, she tottered
along on my arm! And, on this forest road, I thought of
my parents' life.
He had come to the forest farm a young man.
People called him Lenz, not because he was young
and blooming and joyful as the Lenz, or spring, but
because his name was Lorenz.
His father had been severely wounded in a brawl, lain
ill for but a little while and died an early death.
So now Lenz was the owner of the forest farm. To
recover in a measure from his sadness for his father's
sake, he did a capital thing: he looked about him
for a wife. He took almost the poorest and the most
disregarded that the forest valley contained: a girl
who was frightfully black all through the week, but had
quite a nice little white face on Sundays. She was the
daughter of a charcoal-burning woman and worked for
her aged mother, but had never seen her father.
One year after the wedding, in the summer, the young
woodman's wife presented her Lenz with a first-born.
He received the name of Peter and now runs all over the
world with it, an everlasting child.
Her life was so peculiar, her life was so good, her life
had a crown of thorns.
Our farm was no small one and its days were well-ordered;
but my mother did not play the grand farmer's
wife: she was housewife and servant-maid in one.
My mother was an educated woman: she could
"read print"; she had learnt that from a charcoal-burner.
She knew the story of the Bible by heart; and she had
no end of legends, fairy-tales and songs from her mother.
Moreover, she was always ready with help in word and
deed and never lost her head in any mishap and always
knew the right thing to do.
"That's how my mother used to do, that's what my
mother used to say," she was constantly remarking;
and this continued her rule and precept, long after her
mother was laid to rest in the churchyard.
No doubt, there was at times a little bigotry, what we
call "charcoal-burner's faith," mixed up with it, yet in
such a way that it did no harm, but rather spread a gentle
poetry over the poor life in the houses in the wood.
The poor knew my mother from far and wide: none
knocked at her door in vain; none was sent hungry away.
To him whom she considered really poor and who asked
her for a piece of bread she gave half a loaf; and, if he
begged for a gill of flour, she handed him a lump of lard
with it. And "God bless you!" she said, in addition:
that she always said.
"What will be the end of us, if you give everything away
wholesale?" my father often said to her, almost angrily.
"Heaven, perhaps," she answered. "My mother
often used to say that the angels register every 'God
reward you' of the poor before God's holy throne. How
glad we shall be one day, when we have the poor to intercede
for us with Our Lord!"
My father believed in fasting on Saturdays and often did
not take a morsel of food before the shadows began to
lengthen. He did this in honour of the Blessed Virgin.[20]
"I tell you, Lenz, that sort of fasting serves no useful
purpose!" my mother would sometimes say, in protest.
"What you go without to-day, you simply eat to-morrow.
My mother always used to say, 'What you have through
fasting left, give to the poor so sore bereft.' I somehow
think it does no good otherwise."
My father used to pray in the evenings, especially at
"rosary-time," and on Saturdays prayed long and loud,
but often did odd jobs at the same time, such as nailing
his shoes, patching his trousers or even shaving himself.
In so doing, he not seldom lost the thread of his prayers,
until my mother would snatch the things from his hands
and cry:
"Heavens alive, what manner of praying is this!
Kneeling beside the table and saying three Our Fathers
with application is better than three rosaries during
which the evil one steals away your good thoughts while
you're playing about!"
At times of hard work, my mother was fond of a good
table:
"Who works with a will may eat with a will," she
said. "My mother used always to say, 'Who dares
not risk to lose a tittle, dares not either win a little.'"
My father was content with scanty fare; he was always
fearing that the home would be ruined.
These were the only differences in their married life;
and even those did not go deep. They uttered them
only to each other: when father talked to strangers,
he praised mother; when mother talked to strangers,
she praised father.
They were of one mind as regarded the bringing-up
of children. Work and prayer, thrift and honesty, were
our main precepts.
I only once received a proper thrashing. In front of
the house was a young copse of larch—and fir-trees, which
gradually grew up so high that it shut out the view of the
mountains on that side. Now I loved this view and I
thought that father would be sure to thank me if I—who
was an enterprising lad in those days—cut down the
little trees. And, true enough, one afternoon, when everyone
was in the fields, I stole into the little wood with an
axe and began to cut down young trees. Before long,
my father appeared upon the scene; but the thanks
which he gave me had a very queer look.
"Lend me the hatchet, boy!" he said, quietly.
I thought, "Now he'll tackle to himself: so much the
better"; and I passed him the axe.
He used it to chop off a birch-switch and flattened it
across my back.
"Wait a bit!" he cried. "Do you want to do for
the young wood? It has more rods for you, where this
came from!"
I had a thrashing just once from my mother too.
I liked sitting by the hearth when mother was cooking;
and, one day, I knocked over the stock-pot full of soup,
half putting out the fire and nearly burning my little
bare feet. My mother was not there at the moment;
and, when she came running in at the sound of the mighty
hissing, I cried out, crimson in the face:
"The cat, the cat has upset the stock-pot!"
"Yes, that same cat has two legs and tells lies!"
mother retorted.
And she took me and thrashed me for a long time with
the rod.
"If ever you tell me a lie again," she cried, when she
had done, "I'll cut you to pieces with the flue-rake!"
A serious threat! Thank goodness, it never had to be
fulfilled.
On the other hand, when I was good and obedient,
I was rewarded. My reward took the form of songs
which she sang to me, tales which she told me, when we
walked through the forest together or when she sat by
my bedside in the evening. All that is best in me I have
from her. She had a worldful of poetry within her.
When my brothers and sisters came one after the other,
mother loved us all alike and favoured none. Afterwards,
when two died in their childhood, I saw mother for the
first time crying. We others cried with her and thenceforth
always cried whenever we saw mother shedding
tears.
And this was quite often, from that time onwards.
Father lay sick for two years on end. We had ill-luck
in the farm and in the fields; hail and murrain
came; our corn-mill was burnt down.
Then mother wept in secret, lest we children should
see her. And she worked without ceasing, fretted, and
ended by falling ill. The doctors of the whole neighbourhood
around were called in to advise: they could do
nothing but charge fat fees; only one of them said:
"I won't take payment from such poor people."
Yes, in spite of all our jollity, we had become poor
people. The goods and chattels were all gone; of the
once big property nothing remained to us but the taxes.
My father now resolved to sell the encumbered farm
as well as he could. But mother would not have it:
she worked on, ill as she was, with trouble and zeal, and
never gave up hope. She could not bear to think of
giving up her home, the house where her children were
born. She denied her illness, said that she had never felt
better in her life and that she would work for three.
My brothers and sisters also considered that they
could not leave the homestead; besides, none of them
had one good pair of shoes left to put on. And mother,
when, once in a way, she wished to go to the parish
church, had to borrow a jacket free from patches from
some journeyman-woodman's wife or other. And the
greatest pain of all was people's arrogance and their scorn
if ever they did lend any assistance. They had forgotten
the kindnesses which my mother had once shown to one
and all according to her power. At that time, she was
the most honoured farmer's wife in all the houses in the
forest. But—misfortune destroys friendship! As, indeed,
her mother, the charcoal-burner, had often said.
I will relate an experience of that sad time, when my
mother was ailing. It begins with a bright and sunny
Whitsuntide.
That bright and sunny Whit Monday was her thirty-ninth
birthday. It was a gladsome day. The crops were
green in the fields; and the herds grazed in the high
meadow: true, they did not belong to us, but to our
neighbour; and yet we delighted in them, because they
were fat and jolly. My father had already paid last
year's taxes; the financial position, which had been
disturbed during father's long illness, seemed gradually
coming to rights; and consequently we were once more
rising in people's opinions. On this day, we walked
through the meadows together; and the little ones picked
flowers and the grown-ups praised God's works with a
cheerful word or a song. Then mother sat down on a
stone and was like to die.
We dragged her home, we put her to bed, where she
lay for long: weeks long, months long. All the neighbours
came and brought their well-meant sympathy; all the
doctors from near and far came and brought their well-meant
medicine. The patient, as they admitted behind
her back, had had a stroke; she was languishing. But,
when the cool autumn came, she grew better: she now
no longer lay in bed by day, but sat on the bench by the
fire or at the table, where the children played, or by the
hearth, where she instructed clumsy father in the art of
cooking. She was not cheerful, nor was she cast down;
she took things as they came and did not complain:
only, between whiles, when she was alone, she heaved a
deep sigh. Thus winter passed. The delightful Whitsuntide
came again and mother was ill.
At this festival, the old woman from the Riegelberg
came to see us and brought a few rolls with her. She
suggested all sorts of household remedies and reckoned
up a number of hale and hearty people who had become
hale and hearty through taking the aforesaid remedies.
And at last she asked, hadn't we been to Stegthomerl—Tom
of the Footpath—yet?
No, we confessed, we had not been to him as yet.
Then how could we have been so remiss and however
could we have neglected to go to Tom of the Footpath?
He was the very first to whom one ought to send in that
sort of illness!
But it was such a distance to get there, father objected.
"And, if it was a three days' journey, it is not too
far for health's sake."
"That's very true, I grant you: it would not be too
far for health," said father. "And think you, Riegelbergerin,
that he could cure her?"
"Curing, my dear woodman, is in God's hands,"
answered the woman from the Riegelberg, with her
wonted superiority. "Even the best doctors cannot
work miracles. But he knows, does Tom of the Footpath,
and he'll tell you whether a cure is still possible or not."
The very next day, a messenger was sent over the
mountains to the valley where Tom of the Footpath
lived. He went off early and he came home late and he
brought the answer that Tom of the Footpath had said
he could say nothing at all as long as he did not see the
invalid for himself.
The next day, another messenger went off (for the first
had gone lame on the long road) to fetch Tom of the Footpath.
He came back late at night alone and brought the
news that Tom of the Footpath didn't visit patients:
Thomas himself was not as young as he had been; also he
did not wish to be locked up again because the qualified
doctors suffered from an infernal professional jealousy
and wanted to bury everybody themselves. If the sick
woodman's wife cared to come to him, there might be
something to be done. But he did not go running after
sick people.
This was manfully spoken, after all, and we all of us
understood that a man who knows his own value does
not exactly care to make himself cheap. But now came
a great embarrassment. The weather, to be sure, was
fine and warm; the days were long, and mother was
quite ready to go. But how were we to carry her on that
many-hours' road to Tom of the Footpath? It was
impossible. Drive? We had no cart; and the last pair
of draught-oxen had been taken from us by the creditors
to whom we had had to apply once more during mother's
illness. The neighbours were using their oxen just now
for ploughing the fields. The jobbing farmer had two
horses: he was willing to let them out to us, but his
charge for the day—father struck his hands together at
the thought—was five florins and their oats.
And, as we were all sitting in deep distress around our
sick mother, seeking for a way out of the difficulty and
finding none, the door opened and the lad from the road-side
tavern walked in.
"What do you want, my boy?" asked my father.
The boy stood dangling his arms.
"Ay," he said, "it's this way: Samersteffel sends
word to say that, if the woodman likes to have his horse
and cart, he can have them."
Samersteffel was what Stephen, the local carrier, was
called.
"Where is Carrier Steve?"
"He's with us and he's put up his horse and cart at
our place."
My father thought over what he had better say; then
he said:
"Steve is sure to want a good price; tell him from
me, no, but I'm obliged to him."
The boy went away; and, in an hour's time, Carrier
Steve came round in person. He was a little fat man,
who, in the old days, before the road was made, used to
carry all sorts of things over the mountain-path with a
pack-horse. Now that the road was there, he had set up
a little light cart, in which he conveyed corn, salt, cider
and so on, but all for money, of course, as that was what
he lived by; and not only that, but he wanted to get
rich, so as to build a big inn on the new road. To be an
innkeeper was the dream of his life; and he had the
making of one in him, for he was always in a good temper
and would certainly know how to entertain his visitors.
But to-day, when he walked into our parlour, he was
in anything but a good temper.
"You're making a lot of useless trouble for one of us,"
he said, and sat down puffing and panting on the bench
against the wall. "Have you ever heard, woodman, that
I have pressed myself on anyone for the sake of gain?
You can't have heard such a thing said about me, for,
thank God, I don't need it. Once I myself propose to
carry anything, I carry it gratis. I heard that your
wife wanted to go to Tom of the Footpath and that she
had no trap of any kind. My mother, God rest her soul,
was also ill for a long time; I know what it means: it's a
misery. If you like, woodman, I'll drive your wife over
to Tom of the Footpath to-morrow."
Then we all felt really glad. We did not give a further
thought to the question whether the long drive would do
good or harm, or whether the new physic would take
effect, or how the illness would turn out afterwards. To
Tom of the Footpath, just to Tom of the Footpath:
that would put everything right.
I was awakened early next day, when the morning
star peeped through the great black ash-trees. Father
had to stay behind to look after the farm; and I, the
thirteen-year-old lad, must go with mother to see that
nothing happened to her. Mother was already at her
breakfast and did as if she thoroughly relished the milk-porridge.
Carrier Steve and I ate a bowl of curds and
whey and then we drove off. Steve sat on the little
driver's seat and talked out loud to his nag, telling it to
be a good horse and trot over the mountains briskly
"so that we can bring woodman's wife home again before
the day is out." My mother sat, wrapped up in all her
clothes, and my father's storm-cloak into the bargain, on
a leather cushion, with straw at her feet and a heavy
blanket over all, allowing only a part of her head to show
above it. I sat beside this sick-bed and was heavy at
heart.
It was still chilly night; the sky began to turn a little
pale over the Wechselberg. The road led across the
meadows. Now the birds woke; now the glory of the
dawn commenced; now the great sun rose in the heavens.
My mother drew back the blanket a little and gazed up
at the sun:
"I feel full of hope," she whispered and felt for my
hand, "if only the summer helps a bit and Tom of the
Footpath too. After all, I'm not so old yet. What do
you think, my child? Shall I be able to look at the world
again a hale woman?"
I was as confident as she; I felt quite relieved. The
morning sun! The dear warm morning sun!
Mother became chatty.
"It's silly, when you come to think of it," she said,
suddenly, and laughed almost aloud, "how fond a body
is of being in the world. Of course, I should be sorry to
leave my folk. And it would be a pity for my Lenzel,
your father, to be left all alone; the children are so
small yet."
"But I'm getting pretty big now," I protested.
Then mother turned her face right round to me and
said:
"It's just you, my Peter, it's just you about whom I'm
most anxious. You see, you appear to me quite different
from other boys of your age. You've no real mind for
work, that is to say, you have the mind, perhaps, but you
take no honest pleasure in it. Yes, yes, deny it as you
may, I know you, you don't care about farming, you
hang around and you want something else, you yourself
don't know what. You see, that's really the worst of it.
And so I should like to pray to God and ask Him to leave
me with you, so that I can keep a hold on you until I
know what's to become of you."
"Will you be a carrier? How would that suit you,
boy?" cried Steve, over his shoulder, to us in the cart.
"A good carrier, who takes poor people driving: I
wouldn't mind that," remarked my mother, whereupon
Steve gave a little smirk.
The road led straight up and became stony; Steve and
I got down and walked beside the creaking cart. The
sun had become hot. It was a tiring drive and we only
got on slowly.
When we were up at the top and driving along through
the almost level, but dark woods of the Fischbacheralpe,
we no longer heard the cart-wheels, for the ground was
thickly strewn with pine-needles, save that, every now
and again, the wheels struck against a root. The birds
had become silent, for the hot day lay over the tree-tops.
My mother had fallen asleep. I looked at her pale face
and thought:
"Tom of the Footpath is sure to know of something
that will do her good; it's a lucky thing that we were
able to drive to Tom of the Footpath."
"Like a bit of bread, Peter?" asked Steve.
"I should be glad of a bit."
And, when I got my piece of bread, there was a piece
of bacon on it; and now my distress began. I held the
thing in my hand for ever so long and looked at it and
looked up at my mother: she was asleep. I did not want
to offend Steve, who meant so well by us. As, however, I
could not leave the thing as it was, lying in my hand, I at
last began, first quite softly, but gradually louder, to call
out:
"Steve!"
"What do you want?" he asked, at last.
"I should only like to beg as a favour," I said, quite
despondently, "just as a favour, that I need not eat the
bacon. For indeed I don't like bacon."
"You don't know what's good," said the driver,
laughing, and relieved me of my difficulty.
At last, we began to go downhill; and now the cart
jolted over the burning stones and shook the invalid out
of her sleep; and the sun burnt into her marrow; and
she felt chilled all the same.
Steve muttered:
"Tom of the Footpath must be the devil of a good
doctor to make a drive like this worth while. Hold up,
Sorrel: we've not much further to go."
It was late in the afternoon when we reached the valley
and stopped at the little house where Tom of the Footpath
lived.
We carried mother into the musty, stuffy parlour, in
which all the little windows were tight shut. There we
let her down on the bench and asked for Tom.
A grumpy old woman answered that Tom was not there.
"We can see that," said Steve, "but might we ask
where he is?"
"Can't say."
"When's he coming in?"
"Maybe he won't stay out long, maybe he won't be
back till night, maybe he's gone to the ale-house."
The old woman left the room; and there we sat. My
mother drew a deep breath.
Steve went after the old woman and asked her for a
spoonful of hot soup for the invalid.
"Where should I get hot soup from at this time of
day? The fire's been out on the hearth this long since."
That was the answer. Thereupon the driver himself
set to and lit the fire, looked for milk and boiled it.
Mother ate only a little of the soup and pushed the bowl
to us, so that we should have some warm food too.
When that was done, Steve gave the woman a silver ten-kreuzer
for the milk and for the hay which the sorrel
ate.
After a time, during which it turned quite dark in the
parlour, once or twice, because clouds were passing in
front of the sun outside, Tom of the Footpath walked
into the room. He was a short, spindle-shanked man, but
had a big head, broad shoulders, a very high chest and a
great hump on his back. And his head was sunk into his
shoulders, so that the mannikin had to turn right round,
with his whole body, whenever he wanted to turn his
head. I can see him plainly to this day, as he stepped
in through the door and looked at us, first sharply and
then smilingly, with his wandering, vacant face.
My mother at once became fidgety and tried to rise
from her seat, in order to put her request to him in a
respectful fashion.
Tom made a sign with his hand that she need not
trouble and presently said, in a rather sing-song voice:
"I know, I know, you're the woodman's wife from
the Alpel; you had a stroke a year ago."
"I had a stroke?" asked the invalid, in dismay.
"You've been doctoring all round the place, far and
wide; and now, because no one else can do you any good,
you come to me. They're all alike: they come to me when
they're dying; and if, after that, Tom of the Footpath's
physic doesn't work a miracle and the patient goes the
way of all flesh, then they say that Tom of the Footpath
has been the cause of his death."
These words were terrible to listen to, in themselves,
but still they were bearable because they were spoken
with a smiling face and because Tom went on to add:
"Hope it'll prove an exception in your case, woodman's
wife. I'll just examine you now."
First of all, of course, he felt her pulse:
"It hops," he muttered, "it hops."
Then, with his broad fingers, he pushed her eyebrows
apart and looked into the whites—and said nothing.
Next, she had to bare her neck and he put his ear to it—and
said nothing. Furthermore, he attentively studied
the lines of her hand, then asked after the sick woman's
actual state of health and went on to examine the arteries
and the respiration, so that I at once conceived a high
opinion of the man's conscientiousness.
And, when he had finished his examination, he sat
down on a chair opposite my mother, who was slowly
wrapping herself up again in her clothes, spread out his
legs, sank his chin into his body and, with his arms crossed
over his chest, said:
"Yes, my dear woodman's wife, you've got to die."
My mother gave a light start, I sprang to my feet.
Steve, however, remained sitting quite calmly in his seat,
looked hard at Tom of the Footpath for a while and then
said, suddenly:
"And you haven't, I suppose? No, you old camel,
your day's coming too, God damn it all!"
It was now high time to go. We hurriedly packed up
and drove off homeward.
It was sultry and shady; the sky was covered with
clouds; there was not a living thing in sight; not a tree-top
stirred; our cart rattled heavily along. My mother
lay silently in her corner and gazed at the darkling world
with her great, black eyes.
Steve sat fuming on his box, but gradually became
quieter; and he now grunted:
"To think of a man being as drunk as all that!"
"Who?" I asked.
"Such a drunken bout is really worth making a day's
journey to go and have a look at," Steve continued.
"True enough, I'd heard tell that the old camel was
seldom sober; and he'd come straight from the ale-house
to-day."
"I dare say it was just as well," my mother said.
"If he had been sober, perhaps he would not have told
me the truth."
And so we drove away in great sadness. The thunder
rolled over the mountains, quite hoarse and dull; the
Fischbach storm-bell rang in the distance. Then my
mother sat upright and said:
"You must do something to please me, Peter; and
I'll ask Steve as well: it's no use telling father, my
husband, what Tom of the Footpath said."
"Indeed, it would never do to repeat such fool's talk,"
cried the driver, very loudly, "but I'm going to the
magistrate! I shall inform against him! That's what
I shall do!"
"I beg of you, Steve, let it be," my mother asked. "You
mustn't think that I take it so much to heart. I myself
have often thought that the thing will end with me as it
ends with all ailing people. What can Tom of the Footpath
do against that! We did not go to him to get him to
tell us lies. I'm only sorry that we never once asked
what we owed him for his straightforwardness."
Now Steve burst out laughing and sent the whip
whizzing once or twice through the air, notwithstanding
that the horse was doing its best.
When we drove along over the heights, the threatening
storm had dispersed entirely; the setting sun shone with
a faint golden gleam over the wide landscape, over wood
and meadows; and a cool breeze blew in our faces.
A bright tear lay on my mother's pale cheeks.
As, silent and tired, we drove through our home
meadows, the stars appeared in the sky. On every side,
the song of the crickets purled and chirped in the grass.
By the fence, where our hillside began, stood a black
figure that accosted us and asked if it was we.
It was my father, who had come to meet us. My
mother called him by name; her voice was weak and
trembling.
Father took us indoors, without asking a question.
Not until we were in the parlour and the rushlight
was burning did he ask how we had fared.
"Not badly," said Steve, "not at all badly: we have
been very cheerful."
"And Tom of the Footpath: what did he say?"
"He said that, like other people, woodman's wife
wouldn't live for ever, but that she has plenty of time
before her, oh, plenty of time. Only you're to take care:
give her lots of good air in the summer, not too much
work and no excitement, good food and drink and no
physic, no physic at all, he said. And then she'll get all
right again."
A time elapsed after that. My father tried to nurse
mother according to Steve's dictum, which he believed
to be Tom of the Footpath's dictum; and, when winter
came, she sat at the spinning-wheel and span. The mouse
had not bitten the thread in two.
That same winter brought the news that Tom of the
Footpath had been found frozen to death in the snow,
not far from the ale-house on the Fischbacheralpe. We
said an Our Father for his soul.
Carrier Steve, who came to see us now and then and
always remained the good, cheerful man he was, had also
forgiven Thomas: true, it was wholly and solely because
he had proved wrong that time.
I failed—to return to our other circumstances—to
take any pleasure in the peasant's life and also I
really lacked the strength for it. I then took up a trade,
but was not able to help my parents; I wanted to pay
my father for my Sunday board, which I had at home,
but he would take nothing from me, said that I was just
as much his child as before, only I must not burn so many
rushes when I was home on Saturday nights.
"Oh, goodness me, let him have that pleasure: he
hasn't so many!" my mother would say and intercede
for me.
Then things altered with me. I went into the world.
It was hard parting with my mother; but, in a short
time, she was able to see that my life had become happier.
And, now that happiness had come, envy soon came
hobbling along—or was it stupidity? A rumour passed
through the forest hills:
"So far, it's all right with Peter; but, as always
happens in town, he is sure to fall away from the Christian
faith."
And soon the talk grew:
"A nice story that! All of a sudden, he finds honest
work too hard for him and righteous fare not good enough,
goes to town and eats flesh-meat on Our Lady's day
and falls away from the faith."
My mother laughed at first, when she heard that,
for she knew her child. But then the thought came to
her: suppose it were true after all! Suppose her dear
child were forgetting God and going astray!
She knew no peace. She went and borrowed clothes
from blind Julia and borrowed three florins from a good-natured
huckstress and travelled—sick and infirm as she
was, leaning with either hand on a stick—to the capital.
She wanted to see for herself what was true in people's
talk. She found her child a poor student in a black coat,
which he had had given him, and with his hair combed
off his forehead. None of this pleased her greatly, it is
true; it succeeded, however, in appeasing her. But, in
the two days of her stay in town, she saw the mad,
frivolous doings on every side, saw the neglect of old
customs which she revered and the mocking of things that
were sacred to her, and she said to me:
"You will never be able to stay among people like
those, child; they would drag you down with them and
ruin your soul."
"No, mother," I answered, "a man can think as he
wishes; and people can't take away good thoughts."
She said no more. But, when she returned to the forest
hills and heard the talk again, she was more dejected
than ever.
It was all up now with the homestead. House and
farm were sold, made over to the creditors; my brothers
and sisters engaged as servants with strange farmers.
The destitute parents were given a cottage that, until
then, had belonged to the property. My youngest brother,
who was not yet able to earn his bread, and one sister
remained with them and nursed poor mother. Father
kept on going over the mountains to the doctors', and
all but promised them his own life, if they could save the
life of his wife.
In the cottage, things looked very wretched. The ailing
woman suffered in silence. The light of her eyes threatened
to fail her, her mental faculties appeared to fade. Death
knocked at her heart with repeated strokes. She often
seemed to endure severe pain, but said nothing; she
no longer took any interest in the world, asked only
after her husband, after her children. And she lay years
a-dying.
I often came to see her during that time. She hardly
knew me, when I stood by her bedside; but then again
she would say, as in a dream:
"Is that you, Peterl? Praise and thanks be to God
that you are here again!"
During midsummer, we would carry her, once in a way,
with bed and all, out of the stuffy room into the air,
so that she might see the sunshine once more. I do not
know if she saw it: she kept her eyes open and looked
up at the sun; her optic nerves seemed dead.
Then, suddenly, days came when she was different.
She was cheerful and longed to go out into the open.
"Do get quite well again, Maria," said her husband,
"and we shall remain together a long while yet."
"Yes," she answered.
I thought of all this on my way through the forest—and
now it was all over with this poor rich life.
When, at last, after walking for hours through the woods
along the mountain-path, I saw the thatched cottage
on the hill-side, then it was as though a misty shadow
covered woods and plains and all; and yet the sunlight
hung over it. A puff of grey smoke rose from the little
chimney. Does she suspect my coming? thought I.
Is she cooking my favourite dish? No, strangers are
preparing a funeral feast.
You stood long, Peterl, outside the half-open door;
and your hand trembled when at last it touched the latch.
The door opened, you walked in, it was dark in the narrow
passage, with only a dim little oil-lamp flickering in a
glass, and yet you saw it clearly: against the wall, under
the smoky stairs, on a plank lay the bier, covered entirely
with a big white cloth. At the head stood a crucifix
and the holy-water stoup, with a sprig of fir in it….
You fell upon your knees…. And the tears came
at last. The tears which the mother's heart once gave us
to take with us into this world for our relief in sorrow
and for our only consolation in the hour when no other
comfort reaches the soul, when strangers cannot understand
us and when the mother's heart has ceased to beat.
Hail, O rich and eternal legacy!
Now the door of the parlour opened softly and Maria,
the younger sister, stepped out. The girl at once began
to cry when she saw the brother of whom they had all
spoken so often, for whom mother's last glance had
asked and who was far away when she closed her eyes.
Now he lay there on his knees and cried over the memory
of her life.
Even her children here at home had slept through the
night of the death. Not till the glow of early morning
lit up the little windows did father go to the girls in the
bedroom and say:
"Open your eyes and look out. The sun is already
rising over the Wechsel; and the Blessed Virgin is sitting
on the mountain-top, with the Child Jesus on her knee;
and your mother is sitting on the stool at her feet, with
a spinning-wheel before her, weaving her heavenly
garment."
Then they knew at once that mother was dead.
"Would you like to look at her?" my sister now
asked.
And she went to the head of the bier and slowly raised
the shroud.
I saw my mother. Heaven's bliss still lay on the
stiff, stark visage. The load was gone from my heart,
relieved and comforted; I looked upon the dear features
as though I were contemplating a white flower. It was
no longer the poor, sick, weary woman that lay before
me: it was the face lit up with a ray from the youthful
days long past. She lay there slumbering and was strong
and well. She was young again and white and gentle;
she wore a little smile, as she often did when she looked
at the merry little fellow playing about with his toys at
her feet. The dark and glossy hair (she had no grey hairs
yet) was carefully braided and peeped out a little at the
temples from under the brown kerchief, the one which
she loved best to wear upon her head when she went to
church on holidays. She held her hands folded over
her breast, with the rosary and the wax candle between
them. She lay there just as though she had fallen asleep
in church on Whit Sunday, during the solemn High Mass;
and thus, even in death, she comforted her child. But
the rough hands clearly showed that the slumberer had
led a hard and toilful life.
And so you stood before this sacred image, nearly as
still and motionless as the sleeper.
At last, you whispered to your little sister, who stood
softly weeping by your side:
"Who closed her eyes?"
A sound of hammering came from the parlour. The
carpenter was knocking together the last dwelling-house.
After a while, Maria drew the shroud over the head
again, as softly and carefully as when she used to cover
up our little mother, hundreds and hundreds of times, in
the long period of sickness.
Then I went into the small, warm parlour. Father,
my elder sister, my two brothers, of whom the younger
was still a boy, came up to me with mournful looks.
They hardly spoke a word, they gave me their hands,
all but the little fellow, who hid himself in the chimney-corner,
where we could hear his sobbing.
Joseph the carpenter was calmly planing away at the
coffin, which he had now finished joining, and smoked his
pipe as he did so.
Later, when the afternoon shadows had lengthened
outside, far over the glittering snow-clad meadow-land,
when, in the parlour, Joseph was painting the black cross
on the coffin-lid, father sat down beside it and said,
softly:
"Please God, after all, she has a house of her own
again."
On the first day after mother's death, no fire had been
lit on the cottage-hearth. One and all had forgotten
that a mortal man wants a basin of hot soup in the
morning and at mid-day. On the other hand, a blazing
fire had been kindled on the field behind the little house,
to burn the straw bedding on which she had died, even
as, long ago, the forefathers had fanned their Odin fires,
commending the beloved dead to the Goddess Hella, the
great concealer.[21]
I had sat down on the bench and lifted my little brother
up to me. The little man glanced at me quite fearsomely:
I had a black coat on and a white scarf round my neck
and I looked very grand in his eyes. I held his little
hand, which already had horny blisters on it, in mine.
Then I asked father to tell us something of mother's
life.
"Wait a little," answered father and looked on at the
drawing of the cross, as in a dream.
At last, he heaved a deep sigh and said:
"So it's finished now. Her cross and suffering lasted
long, that's true; but her life was short. Children,
I tell you, not everyone has a mother like yours. For
you, Peter, she nearly gave up her life, when you came
into the world. And so they followed one after the other:
joys and sorrows, care and want, poverty and wretchedness!
And, when I was sick unto death and the doctors
agreed that I must go the way of all flesh, that there
was no remedy for it, my wife never gave up hope, never
abandoned me. Day and night she stayed by my side,
forgetting to sleep, forgetting to eat a bit of bread. She
almost poured life back into me with her own breath—my
dear, good wife."
His voice seemed about to break; he wiped the moisture
from his eyes with his coat-sleeve.
"No one would believe what good nursing can do,"
he continued. "I became quite hale again. We lived on,
faithfully and fondly; and that you, Peter, found
success and happiness away from home, that was your
mother's greatest joy. You yourselves know how she
lay sick and dying for seven years and more, how they
turned us out of house and home, how spitefully people
talked and how, nevertheless, we had the greatest trust
in you children. For fully thirty years, we lived together
in wedlock. I always prayed that God might take me
first; now He has chosen rather to take her. You
mustn't cry like that, children: you were always a help
and a comfort to your mother."
He said no more.
When the carpentering of the coffin was done, father
put shavings inside it as a pillow. He had always had
the habit, when he had done his work, of going to his
wife and saying:
"I've finished now."
And so, when he had put the shavings straight and made
the other preparations, he went out to the bier in the
passage and said:
"I've finished now."
Late in the evening, when the crescent moon stood in
the dark, clear sky and shed its twilight over the woods
and gleaming, snow-clad meadows and over the little
house in the forest on the hill-side, the snow creaked
continually on the roads and people came up from
farmsteads and distant cottages. Even though they had
carried on loud and cheerful conversations with one
another on the paths by which they had come, they
became silent now that they were nearing the cottage and
we heard only the crackling of their footsteps on the snow.
In the small front passage, which was dimly lit by the
little lamp, everyone knelt on the cold clay floor and
prayed silently before the bier and then sprinkled it with
holy water. After that, he went into the parlour to the
others, who sat round the table and the fireplace, singing
hymns and uttering pious reflections. They were all
there to accompany the poor woman of the house to her
last resting-place.
I would have kept on standing by the bier, if the people
had not been there, so that I might look at my mother.
I read my childhood and my youth in her features.
I thought that the bright eyes must open once more and
smile to me, that the word must once more come from
those lips which, in her loving-kindness, had been so
soft and tender. But, though I was her dear son and
however long I might stand beside her—she now slept
the eternal sleep.
I went into the low-ceilinged kitchen, where the neighbours'
wives were cooking the funeral meal; I looked
round in the smoke for my brothers and sisters, that I
might comfort them.
Inside, in the parlour, all were now as still as mice
and in great tension. Mathias, the old chamois-hunter,
who wore a brown shirt and a white beard, sat at the
table and told a story:
"There was once a farmer," he began, "who had a
wife, just a poor sick wife. And, one day, one holy
Easter morning, the wife died. The soul departed
from her body and stood there all alone in dark Eternity.
No angel was willing to come and lead her and show
her in to the heavenly Paradise. 'They are celebrating
Christ's resurrection in Heaven'—so the story ran—'and,
at such times, no saint or angel has time to show
a poor soul the way.' But the poor soul was in inexpressible
fear and terror, for she reflected that, because of
her illness, it was long since she had been to church. And
she already heard the devil whining and whimpering and
whistling and she thought that she was lost. 'O my holy
guardian angel and patron saint!' she cried. 'Come to
my help in this my need, or I must depart into hell-fire!'
But they were all in Heaven together, celebrating Our
Lord's resurrection. Thereupon the poor woman was
nigh to fainting away, without comfort or support;
but suddenly Our Lady stood by her side, draped in a
snow-white garment with a wreath of roses as a beautiful
ornament in her hand. 'Hail to thee and comfort, thou
poor woman!' she said, gently, to the departed soul.
'Thou hast been a pious sufferer all thy life long and
every Saturday thou hast fasted, for my sake, and what
thou hadst left over through the fasting thou hast given
to the poor, for my sake. This I will never forget to
thee; and, though my dear Son is commemorating His
glorious resurrection this day, yet will I think of thee
and carry thee to His golden throne and to thy joyful
place in the rose-garden by the angels, which I have
prepared for thy sake and where thou canst wait for
thy husband and thy children.' And then Our Lady
took the poor woman by the hand and carried her up
to Heaven. That is why I say that fasting and alms-giving
in honour of Our Lady are a right good work."
So spake Mathias in his brown shirt.
"Our dear woodman's wife, whom we are burying
to-morrow, was also fond of fasting," said one little
woman, "and very fond of giving."
Father sobbed for emotion. The thought that his wife
was now in Heaven lit a very welcome light in his sad
heart.
The hands of the old soot-browned clock upon the wall—the
same which had faithfully told the hours, the joyful
hours and the sorrowful, since the woodman's glad
wedding-day; which pointed to the hour of one, early on
Sunday morning, when the little boy was born; which,
after many years, showed the hour of six, when the
delivering angel passed through the room and pressed
his kiss on the sufferer's forehead—the hands now met at
twelve o'clock.
And, when that departed life was thus measured, like
a single day, from sunrise to sunset, my father said:
"Boy, go outside to the cow-shed and lie down for a
while in the straw and rest a bit. I will wake you when
the time comes."
I went outside, took a last look at the bier in the passage
and then stepped out into the free, cold, starry night.
The sickle of the moon had sunk behind the woods;
it had sent its last beam gliding through the crevice of
the door on the shroud that covered the bier: to-morrow,
when it rose again, the poor creature would be lying in
the dark earth.
So now I lay in the shed on the straw, where my two
brothers generally slept. The three chained oxen stood
or lay beside me, grinding their teeth as they chewed
the cud. It was warm and damp in the stable; and the
moisture trickled from the half-rotten ceiling down on
my straw couch.
There was once a time—ay, the drops came quivering
down as now—the dew-drops from the trees, when mother
was taking you to make your first communion. I see you
now, Peterl. You have a new jacket on, with a sprig of
rosemary in your hat. Your little snow-white shirt
shows round your neck above the waistcoat; and your
cheeks are rosy red with scrubbing. Mother is wearing a
bright-coloured dress, a brown apron and a black, tight-fitting
jacket. Her broad neckerchief is of red silk and
shines like fire and flame. A white-and-green spray of
flowers sticks out of her bosom. On her head, she wears
a high and costly golden cap, as was the fashion thenadays
throughout the country; and the curls peep out on either
side of the forehead, gleaming black like the two great
pupils of her eyes and soft and dainty like the lashes on
her lids. Her cheeks are tinged with the pink of the dawn;
her chin is white and daintily curved. Her red lips wear
a little smile and, at the same time, scold you, my little
man, because you are skipping so pertly over the stones
and roots and knocking the nails out of your shoes. No
child alive has ever seen his mother in the full flower of
her beauty; and yet how splendid it is, boy, even now!
All's aglow in the wood and alight in the young larches;
and the blooms are fragrant and the birds singing in
every tree-top.
Ah, child-time is May-time!
A dull, heavy knocking roused me from my dream;
I started up. Now they are laying my mother in the
coffin; now they are nailing down the lid.
I rushed out of the shed and into the house. There,
in the passage, stood the narrow, white, closed coffin;
and the dimly-flickering oil-lamp now lit up only the
empty, desolate plank on which the bier had stood.
I should have liked to see her once more….
The people were preparing the litter. Father knelt
behind the door and prayed; the sisters wept in their
pinafores; and my little brother sobbed terribly. The
poor little fellow tried to keep in his tears, for he had
heard that all was for the best with mother and that she
was now enjoying peace in Heaven: he had smiled a
little at that; but now, when the people were making
ready to carry mother away for good and all, there was
no comfort left in his sorely-afflicted little heart.
I took little brother by the hand and we went into
the furthermost dark corner of the room, where no one
else was and where only our sick mother had cared to sit.
There we sat down on the bench. And there we sat while
everything was being prepared outside, while the people
sat down to table and shared the funeral repast.
They had come to show us sympathy; now they were
eating, now they were laughing and then again they acted
as was customary; and they actually rejoiced that one
more person had died and, in so doing, brought variety
into their everyday lives.
Suddenly, loud words were heard outside:
"Where is the Überthan? We can't find the Überthan."
The Überthan is a thin linen pall which is wrapped round
the coffin like a veil and, in the popular belief, serves
him or her who has risen from the dead as a garment
on the Day of Judgment.
Father was roused from his prayers by the shouting;
he now staggered around and looked for the linen sheet in
his press, on the shelves and in every nook and corner.
Why, he had brought it home only yesterday; and now
it was nowhere to be found! He had really lost his head:
he had to see that all got something to eat; he had to
change into his Sunday clothes to go to church; he had
to comfort his children; he had to fetch a new candle,
because the old one was burnt down to its socket and the
people were like to find themselves in the dark; he had
to go to the shed and give the cattle fodder enough to
last them all day, for there would be no one at home;
and now he was expected to say where he had put the
pall yesterday, in his confusion. And, in the next few
minutes, they would be carrying his wife out of the
house!
It was one great excitement.
"So the old man has no pall!" they grumbled. "Such
a thing has never been known: carrying out a dead person
all naked and bare. But it must be true with the poor
woodman's wife: a pauper she lived and a pauper she
died!"
My two sisters began to hunt in their turn; and Maria
exclaimed, plaintively:
"Dear Jesus, my mother mustn't be buried without
a pall; she would do better than that to stay at home
here; and I will give my christening-money and buy her
her last dress. Who was it put away the linen sheet?
O God, they want to deny her the last thing of all, as
well as all the rest!"
I tried to calm the girl and said we should be sure to
get a linen sheet out in the village and, if not, then she
must rest in peace under the bare deal boards.
"How can you speak like that!" she cried. "Didn't
mother in her time buy your clothes for you out of her
hard-saved kreuzers? And now you want her to rise
on the Day of Judgment in her shabby clothes, when all
the others are wearing a white garment!"
She burst into loud crying and leant her glowing forehead
against the wall.
But, soon after, the people breathed again: they had
found the pall.
And, when they had eaten—we others did not take
a bite—and everything was ready, they opened the
door of the front passage and knelt down before the
coffin and prayed aloud, saying Our Lord's Five Wounds.
Then four men placed the coffin on the litter and lifted
it up and carried it out of the poor dwelling into the wood
and thence over the commons and fields and through
mountain forests.
And round about was the winter night and over all
hung the starry sky.
One more look at the empty bier-plank and then I
quickly drew my little brother out with me; and father
and sisters also hurried after; and the elder brother
locked the door; and then the cottage in the wood lay
there in the dark and in the deepest stillness. Life had
left it—and death had left it: there is no greater loneliness
possible.
We heard the hum of the praying funeral procession,
we saw the flicker of the two or three lanterns among the
trunks of the trees. The bearers walked at a quick pace;
those who followed and prayed could hardly keep up with
them on the rough, snow-covered paths. I was a long
way behind with my little brother: the boy could not
walk so fast. Mother would never have left us behind
like that, when living: she would have waited, laughing
a little and chiding a little, and led the child by the hand.
Now, however, she only longed for rest.
Outside the parish village stands a tall cross, with a life-size
figure of the Saviour. Here, after a many-hours'
progress up and down hill, they set the coffin on the ground
and waited for the doctor, who came from the village
to view the corpse and give the death-certificate. But,
by the time that we two, who had lagged behind, came
up, the coffin-lid was hammered down again. And so I
was never able to see you again on earth, my mother!
They entered the parish church in the morning twilight.
The clear bells rang out together. A great catafalque
was set up in the middle of the dark church; many
candles gleamed; and a solemn funeral service began.
The parish priest, an old, blind man, with snow-white
hair, a venerable figure, intoned the requiem, surrounded
by priests in rich vestments. His voice was clear and
solemn; a choir chanted the responses; and trumpets
and sackbuts echoed through the church.
I looked at father and he at me; we knew not who had
ordered all this so. To-day I know that it was my friends
at Krieglach who gave us this beautiful token of their
love.
When the funeral service was over, the catafalque was
removed, all the festal candles on the high-altar were
lit and three priests, no longer clad in the hue of mourning,
but in red, gold-stitched chasubles, climbed the steps
of the altar and a grand High Mass was celebrated, with
gay bell-ringing and joyous music.
"That is because she is released from her suffering,"
said I to the boy.
At last, the coffin, richly decked with flowers, swayed
out of the parish church, where, in the old days, the
woodman's wife had been baptised and married, on its
way to the cemetery. The priests and the choir sang the
loud, clear requiem, the bells tolled over the village far
out into the woods and the candles flickered in the sunlight.
A long train of men and women passed through the
broad village street. We walked behind the coffin,
carrying lighted candles in our hands and praying as
we went.
The cemetery lies outside the village, on a gentle
eminence, between fields and meadows. It is far from
small, for the parish stretches to a great distance over hill
and dale. It is enclosed with a plank fence and contains
many crosses of wood and rusty iron; and in the middle
rises the image of Christ crucified.
Before this image, on the right, was the deep grave,
at the exact spot where, years ago, they had buried
our mother's two children who had died. A mound of
freshly-dug earth lay on either side of the grave.
Here the bearers let the coffin down to the ground and
stripped it of all its finery; and it slid down into the
pit as poor as it had left the cottage in the wood.
"Thou to-day, I to-morrow; and so I am content,"
murmured father.
And the priest said:
"May she rest in the Lord!"
Then they cast clods of earth into the grave and went
away, went to the inn, tasted bread and wine and talked
of everyday things. When it was twelve o'clock and,
according to custom, the bells began to toll once more,
as a last farewell to the departed, the men and women
of the forest set out to return to their mountain valley.
We who belonged to one another sat together for a
while longer and spoke sadly of the time that must
now come and how to arrange for it. Then we took leave
of one another: my father and brothers and sisters
went home to the cottage in the wood, to live and die
where mother had lived and died.
THE END