EDWARD BLACKTHORNE TO BEVERLEY SANDS
King Alfred's Wood,
Warwickshire, England,
May 1, 1910.
MY DEAR MR. SANDS:
I have just read to the end of your latest
novel and under the outdoor influence of that
Kentucky story have sat here at my windows
with my eyes on the English landscape of the
first of May: on as much of the landscape, at
least, as lies within the grey, ivy-tumbled,
rose-besprinkled wall of a companionable old
Warwickshire garden.
You may or you may not know that I, too,
am a novelist. The fact, however negligible
otherwise, may help to disarm you of some
very natural hostility at the approach of this
letter from a stranger; for you probably agree
with me that the writing of novels—not, of
course, the mere odious manufacture of
novels—results in the making of friendly, brotherly
men across the barriers of nations, and that
we may often do as fellow-craftsmen what we
could do less well or not do at all as
fellow-creatures.
I shall not loiter at the threshold of this
letter to fatigue your ear with particulars
regarding the several parts of your story most
enjoyed, though I do pause there long enough
to say that no admirable human being has
ever yet succeeded in wearying my own ears
by any such desirable procedure. In
England, and I presume in the United States,
novelists have long noses for incense [poets,
too, though of course only in their inferior
way]. I repeat that we English novelists are
a species of greyhound for running down on
the most distant horizon any scampering,
half-terrified rabbit of a compliment. But I
freely confess that nature loaded me beyond
the tendency of being a mere greyhound. I
am a veritable elephant in the matter, being
marvelously equipped with a huge, flexible
proboscis which is not only adapted to admit
praise but is quite capable of actively
reaching around in every direction to procure it.
Even the greyhound cannot run forever; but
an elephant, if he once possess it, will wave
such a proboscis till he dies.
There are likely to be in any very readable
book a few pages which the reader feels
tempted to tear out for the contrary reason,
perhaps, that he cannot tear them out of his
tenderness. Some haunting picture of the
book-gallery that he would cut from the frame.
Should you be displeased by the discrimination,
I shall trust that you may be pleased
nevertheless by the avowal that there is a
scene in your novel which has peculiarly
ensnared my affections.
At this point I think I can see you throw
down my letter with more insight into human
nature than patience with its foibles. You
toss it aside and exclaim: "What does this
Englishman drive at? Why does he not at
once say what he wants?" You are right.
My letter is perhaps no better than strangers'
letters commonly are: coins, one side of which
is stamped with your image and the other
side with their image, especially theirs.
I might as well, therefore, present to you
my side of the coin with the selfish image.
Or, in terms of your blue-grass country life,
you are the horse in an open pasture and I
am the stableman who schemes to catch you:
to do this, I approach, calling to you
affectionately and shaking a bundle of oats behind
which is coiled a halter. You are thinking
that if I once clutch you by the mane you
will get no oats. But, my dear sir, you have
from the very first word of this letter already
been nibbling the oats. And now you are my
animal!
There is, then, in your novel a remarkable
description of a noonday woodland scene
somewhere on your enchanted Kentucky
uplands—a cool, moist forest spot. Into this
scene you introduced some rare, beautiful
Kentucky ferns. I can see the ferns! I can
see the sunlight striking through the waving
treetops down upon them! Now, as it
happens, in the old garden under my windows,
loving the shade and moisture of its trees
and its wall, I have a bank of ferns. They are
a marvelous company, in their way as good
as Wordsworth's flock of daffodils; for they
have been collected out of England's best
and from other countries.
Here, then, is literally the root of this letter:
Will you send me the root-stocks of some of
those Kentucky ferns to grow and wave on
my Warwickshire fern bank?
Do not suppose that my garden is on a
small scale a public park or exhibition, made
as we have created Kensington Gardens.
Everything in it is, on the contrary, enriched
with some personal association. I began it
when a young man in the following way:
At that period I was much under the
influence of the Barbizon painters, and I
sometimes entertained myself in the forests where
masters of that school had worked by hunting
up what I supposed were the scenes of
some of Corot's masterpieces.
Corot, if my eyes tell me the truth, painted
trees as though he were looking at enormous
ferns. His ferns spring out of the soil and
some rise higher than others as trees; his trees
descend through the air and are lost lower
down as ferns. One day I dug up some Corot
ferns for my good Warwickshire loam. Another
winter Christine Nilsson was singing at
Covent Garden. I spent several evenings
with her. When I bade her good-bye, I asked
her to send me some ferns from Norway in
memory of Balzac and Seraphita. Yet
another winter, being still a young man and he,
alas! a much older one, I passed an evening
in Paris with Turgenieff. I would persist in
talking about his novels and I remember
quoting these lines from one of them: "It
was a splendid clear morning; tiny mottled
cloudlets hung like snipe in the clear pale
azure; a fine dew was sprinkled on the leaves
and grass and glistened like silver on the
spiders' webs; the moist dark earth seemed
still to retain the rosy traces of the dawn; the
songs of larks showered down from all over
the sky."
He sat looking at me in surprised, touched
silence.
"But you left out something!" I suggested,
with the bumptiousness of a beginner in
letters. He laughed slightly to himself—and
perhaps more at me—as he replied: "I must
have left out a great deal"—he, fiction's
greatest master of compression. After a
moment he inquired with a kind of vast patient
condescension: "What is it that you definitely
missed?" "Ferns," I replied. "Ferns
were growing thereabouts." He smiled
reminiscently. "So there were," he replied, smiling
reminiscently. "If I knew where the spot
was," I said, "I should travel to it for some
ferns." A mystical look came into his eyes as
he muttered rather to himself than for my
ear: "That spot! Where is that spot? That
spot is all Russia!" In his exile, the whole of
Russia was to him one scene, one fatherland,
one pain, one passion. Sometime afterwards
there reached me at home a hamper of Russian
fern-roots with Turgenieff's card.
I tell you all this as I make the request,
which is the body of this letter and, I hope,
its wings, in order that you may intimately
understand. I desire the ferns not only
because you have interested me in your
Kentucky by making it a living, lovely reality,
but because I have become interested in your
art and in you. While I read your book I
believed that I saw the hand of youth joyously
at work, creating where no hand had created
before; or if on its chosen scene it found a
ruin, then joyously trying to re-create reality
from that ruin. But to create where no hand
has created before, or to create them again
where human things lie in decay—that to me
is the true energy of literature.
I should not omit to tell you that some of
our most tight-islanded, hard-headed
reviewers have been praising your work as of
the best that reaches us from America. It
was one such reviewer that first guided me to
your latest book. Now I myself have written
to some of our critics and have thrown my
influence in favour of your fresh, beautiful art,
which can only come from a fresh, beautiful
nature.
Should you decide to bestow any notice
upon this rather amazing letter, you will bear
in mind of course that there will be pounds
sterling for plants. Whatever character my
deed or misdeed may later assume, it must
first and at least have the nature of a
transaction of the market-place.
So, turn out as it may, or not turn out at all,
I am,
Gratefully yours,
EDWARD BLACKTHORNE.
BEVERLEY SANDS TO EDWARD BLACKTHORNE
Cathedral Heights, New York,
May 12, 1910.
MY DEAR MR. BLACKTHORNE:
Your letter is as unreal to me as if I had,
in some modern Æsop's Fables, read how a
whale, at ease in the depths of the sea, had
taken the trouble to turn entirely round to
encourage a puffing young porpoise; or of
how a black oak, majestic dome of a forest,
had on some fine spring day looked down and
complimented a small dogwood tree upon its
size and the purity of its blossoms. And yet,
while thus unreal, your letter is in its way the
most encouragingly real thing that has ever
come into my life. Before I go further I
should like to say that I have read every book
you have written and have bought your books
and given them away with such zeal and zest
that your American publishers should feel
more interest in me than can possibly be felt
by the gentlemen who publish mine.
It is too late to tell you this now. Too late,
in bad taste. A man's praise of another may
not follow upon that man's praise of him.
Our virtues have their hour. If they do not
act then, they are not like clocks which may
be set forward but resemble fruits which lose
their flavour when they pass into ripeness.
Still, what I have said is honest. You may
remember that I am yet moving amid life's
uncertainties as a beginner, while you walk
in quietness the world's highway of a great
career. My praise could have borne little to
you; yours brings everything to me. And
you must reflect also that it is just a little
easier for any Englishman to write to an
American in this way. The American could
but fear that his letter might seriously disturb
the repose of a gentleman who was reclining
with his head in Shakespeare's bosom; and
Shakespeare's entire bosom in this regard, as
you know, Mr. Blackthorne, does stay in
England.
It will give me genuine pleasure to arrange
for the shipment of the ferns. A good many
years have passed since I lived in Kentucky
and I am no longer in close touch with people
and things down there. But without doubt
the matter can be managed through
correspondence and all that I await from you
now is express instructions. The ferns
described in my book are not known to me by
name. I have procured and have mailed to
you along with this, lest you may not have
any, some illustrated catalogues of American
ferns, Kentucky ferns included. You have
but to send me a list of those you want. With
that in hand I shall know exactly how to
proceed.
You cannot possibly understand how happy
I am that my work has the approval of the
English reviews, which still remain the best
in the world. To know that my Kentucky
stories are liked in England—England which,
remaining true to so many great traditions,
holds fast to the classic tradition in her
literature.
The putting forth of your own personal
influence in my behalf is a source of joy and
pride; and your wish to have Kentucky ferns
growing in your garden in token of me is the
most inspiring event yet to mark my life.
I am,
Sincerely yours,
BEVERLEY SANDS.
EDWARD BLACKTHORNE TO BEVERLEY SANDS
King Alfred's Wood,
Warwickshire, England,
May 22, 1910.
MY DEAR SANDS:
Your letter was brought out to me as I was
hanging an old gate in a clover-field canopied
with skylarks. When I cannot make headway
against some obstruction in the development
of a story, for instance, putting the hinges of
the narrative where the reader will not see
any hinges, I let the book alone and go out
and do some piece of work, surrounded by
the creatures which succeed in all they
undertake through zest and joy. By the time I get
back, the hinges of the book have usually
hung themselves without my knowing when
or how. Hence the paradox: we achieve the
impossible by doing the possible; we climb
our mountain of troubles by walking away
from it.
It is splendid news that I am to get the
Kentucky ferns. Thank you for the
catalogues. A list of those I most covet is
enclosed. The cost, shipping expenses included,
will not, I fear, exceed five pounds. Of course
it would be a pleasure to pay fifty guineas, but
I suppose I must restrict myself to the
despicable market price. Shamefully cheap many
of the dearest things in this world are; and
what exorbitant prices we pay for the worthless!
A draft will be forwarded in advance upon
receipt of the American shipper's address.
Or I could send it forthwith to you.
Meantime from now on I shall be remembering
with impatience how many miles it is across
the Atlantic Ocean and at what a snail's pace
American ferns travel. These will be awaited
like guests whom one goes to the gate to meet.
You do not know the names of those you
describe so wonderfully! I am glad. I abhor
the names of my own. Of course, as they are
bought, memoranda must be depended upon
by which to buy them. These data, verified
by catalogue, are inked on little wooden slabs
as fern headstones. When each fern is planted,
into the soil beside it is stuck its headstone,
which, like that for a human being, tells the
name, not the nature, of what it memorialises.
Hodge is the fellow who knows the ferns
according to the slabs. It is time you should
know Hodge by his slab. No such being can
yet be found in the United States: your
civilisation is too young. Hodge is my
British-Empire gardener; and as he now looks out
for every birthday much as for any total
solar eclipse of the year—with a kind of
growing solicitude lest the sun or the birthday
should finally, as it passes, bowl him over for
good—he announced to me with visible relief
the other day that he had successfully passed
another total natal eclipse; that he was
fifty-eight. But Hodge is not fifty-eight years
old. The battle of Hastings was fought in
1066 and Hodge without knowing it was
beginning to be a well-grown lout then. For
Hodge is English landscape gardening in
human shape. He is the benevolent spirit of
the English turf, a malign spirit to English
weeds. He is wall ivy, a root, a bulb, a rake,
a wheelbarrow of spring manure, a pile of
autumn leaves, a crocus. In a distant future
mythology of our English rural life he will
perhaps rank where he belongs—as a
luminary next in importance to the sun: a
two-legged god be-earthed in old clothes, with a
stiff back, a stiff temper, the jaw of the
mastiff and the eye of a prophet.
It is Hodge who does the slabs. He would
not allow anything to come into the garden
without mastering that thing. For the sake
of his own authority he must subdue as much
of the Latin language as invades his territory
along with the ferns. But I think nothing
comparable to such a struggle against
overwhelming odds—Hodge's brain pitted against
the Latin names of the ferns—nothing
comparable to the dull fury of that onset is to be
found in the history of man unless it be
England's war on Napoleon for twenty years.
England did conquer Napoleon and finally
shut him up in a desolate, rocky place; and
Hodge has finally conquered the names of
the ferns and shut them up in a desolate,
rocky place—his skull, his personal promontory.
Nowadays you should see him meet me in
a garden path when I come down early some
morning. You should see him plant himself
before me and, taking off his cap and scratching
the back of his neck with the back of his
muddy thumb, make this announcement:
"The Asplenium filix-faemina put up two new
shoots last night, sir. Bishop's crooks, I
believe you calls 'em, sir." As though I were a
farmer and my shepherd should notify me
that one of the ewes had dropped twin lambs
at three A.M. Hodge's tone implies more yet:
the honour of the shoots—a questionable
honour—goes to Hodge as their botanical sire!
When I receive visitors by reason of my
books—and strangers do sometimes make
pilgrimages to me on account of my grove of
"Black Oaks"—if the day is pleasant, we
have tea in the garden. While the strangers
drink tea, I begin to wave the well-known
proboscis over the company for any praise
they may have brought along. Should this
seem adequate, I later reward them with a
stroll. That is Hodge's hour and opportunity.
Unexpectedly, as it would appear, but
invariably, he steps out from some bush and
takes his place behind me as we move.
When we reach the fern bank, the visitors
regularly begin to inquire: "What is the
name of this fern?" I turn helplessly to
Hodge much as a drum-major, if asked by a
by-stander what the music was that the band
had just been playing, might wheel in dismay
to the nearest horn. Hodge steps forward:
now comes the reward of all his toil. "That
is the Polydactulum cruciato-cristatum,
sir." "And what is this one?" "That is the
Polypodium elegantissimum, mum." Then you
would understand what it sometimes means
to attain scholarship without Oxford or
Cambridge; what upon occasion it is to be a Roman
orator and a garden ass.
You will be wondering why I am telling
you this about Hodge. For the very particular
reason that Hodge will play a part, I know
not what part, in the pleasant business that
has come up between us. He looms as the
danger between me and the American ferns
after the ferns shall have arrived here. It is
a fact that very few foreign ferns have ever
done well in my garden, watch over them as
closely as I may: especially those planted in
more recent years. Could you believe it
possible of human nature to refuse to water a
fern, to deny a little earth to the root of a
fern? Actually to scrape the soil away from
it when there was nobody near to observe the
deed, to jab at it with a sharp trowel? I shall
not press the matter further, for I instinctively
turn away from it. Perhaps each of us has
within himself some incomprehensible little
terrible spot and I feel that this is Hodge's
spot. It is murder; Hodge is an assassin: he
will kill what he hates, if he dares. I have
been so aroused to defend his faithful
character that I have devised two pleadings:
first, Hodge is the essence of British
parliaments, the sum total of British institutions;
therefore he patriotically believes that things
British should be good enough for the British—of
course, their own ferns. At other times
I am rather inclined to surmise that his
malice and murderous resentment are due to
his inability to take on any more Latin, least
of all imported Latin. Hodge without doubt
now defends himself against any more Latin
as a man with his back to the wall fights for
his life: the personal promontory will hold no
more.
You have written me an irresistible letter,
though frankly I made no effort to resist it.
Your praise of my books instantly endeared
you to me.
Since a first plunge into ferns, then, has
already brought results so agreeable and
surprising, I am resolved to be bolder and to
plunge a second time and more deeply.
Is there—how could there help being!—a
Mrs. Beverley Sands? Mrs. Blackthorne
wishes to know. I read your letter to
Mrs. Blackthorne. Mrs. Blackthorne was charmed
with it. Mrs. Blackthorne is charmed with
you. Mr. Blackthorne is charmed with you.
And Mr. and Mrs. Blackthorne would like to
know whether there is a Mrs. Beverley Sands
and, if so, whether she and you will not some
time follow the ferns and come and take
possession for a while of our English garden.
You and I can go off to ourselves and
discuss our "dogwoods" and "black oaks";
and Mrs. Sands and Mrs. Blackthorne, at
their tea across the garden, can exchange
copies of their highly illuminated and
privately circulated little masterpieces about
their husbands. (The husbands should always
edit the masterpieces!)
Both of you, will you come?
Finally, as to your generous propaganda
in behalf of my books and as to the favourable
reports which my publishers send me from
time to time in the guise of New World
royalties, you may think of the proboscis as
now being leveled straight and rigid like a
gun-barrel toward the shores of the United
States, whence blow gales scented with so
glorious a fragrance. I begin to feel that
Columbus was not mistaken: America is
turning out to be a place worth while.
Your deeply interested,
EDWARD BLACKTHORNE.
BEVERLEY SANDS TO TILLY SNOWDEN
June 3.
DEAR TILLY:
Crown me with some kind of chaplet—nothing
classic, nothing sentimental, but something
American and practical—say with twigs
of Kentucky sassafras or, better, with the
leaves of that forest favourite which in
boyhood so fascinated me and lubricated me with
its inner bark—entwine me, O Tilly, with a
garland of slippery elm for the virtue of
always making haste to share with you my
slippery pleasures! I write at full speed now
to empty into your lap, a wonderfully receptive
lap, tidings of the fittest joy that has
ever come to me as your favourite author—and
favourite young husband to be.
The great English novelist Blackthorne,
many of whose books we have read together
(whenever you listened), recently stumbled
over one of my obstructive tales; one of my
awkwardly placed literary hurdles on the
world's race-course of readers. As a result of
his fall he got up, dusted himself thoroughly
of his surprise, and actually despatched to me
an acknowledgment of his thanks for the
happy accident. I replied with a volley of
my own thanks, with salvos of praise for him.
Now he has written again, throwing wide
open his house and his heart, both of which
appear to be large and admirably suited to
entertain suitable guests.
At this crisis place your careful hands over
your careful heart—can you find where it
is?—and draw "a deep, quivering breath," the
novelist's conventional breath for the excited
heroine. Mr. Blackthorne wishes to know
whether there is a Mrs. Beverley Sands. If
there is, and he feels sure there must be,
far-sighted man!—he invites her, invites us,
Mrs. Blackthorne invites us, should we sometime
be in England, to visit them at their beautiful,
far-famed country-house in Warwickshire.
If, then, our often postponed marriage, our
despairingly postponed marriage, should be
arranged to madden me and gladden the rest
of mankind before next summer, we could,
with our arms around one another's necks, be
conveyed by steam and electricity on our
wedding journey to the Blackthorne entrance
and be there deposited, still oblivious of
everything but ourselves.
Think what it would mean to you to be
launched upon the rosy sea of English social
life amid the orisons and benisons of such
illustrious literary personages. Think of those
lovely English lawns, raked and rolled for
centuries, and of many-coloured fêtes on them;
of the national tea and the national sandwiches;
of national strawberries and clotted
cream and clotted crumpets; of Thackeray's
flunkies still flunkying and Queen Anne's
fads yet fadding; of week-ends without
end—as Mrs. Beverley Sands. Behold yourself
growing more and more a celebrity, as the
English mutton-chop or sirloined reviewers
gradually brought into public appreciation
the vague potentialities, not necessarily the
bare actualities, of modest young Sands
himself. Eventually, no doubt, there would be a
day for you at Sandringham with the royal
ladies. They would drive you over—I have
not the least idea how great the distance
is—to drink tea at Stonehenge. Imagine
yourself, it having naturally turned into a rainy
English afternoon, imagine yourself seated
under a heavy black-silk English umbrella on
a bare cromlech, the oldest throne in England,
tearing at an Anglo-Saxon muffin of purest
strain and surrounded by male and female
admirers, all under heavy black-silk
umbrellas—Spitalsfield, I suppose—as Mrs. Beverley
Sands.
Remember, madam, or miss, that this foreign
triumph, this career of glory, comes
to you strictly from me. To you, of yourself,
it is inaccessible. Look upon it as in
part the property that I am to settle upon
you at the time of our union—my honours.
You have already understood from me that
my entire estate, both my real estate and my
unreal estate, consists of future honours.
Those I have just described are an early
payment on the marriage contract—foreign
exchange!
What reply, then, in your behalf am I to
send to the lofty and benevolent
Blackthornes? As matters halt between us—he
also loves who only writes and waits—I can
merely inform Mr. Blackthorne that there is
a Mrs. Beverley Sands, but that she persists
in remaining a Miss Snowden. With this
realisation of what you will lose as Miss
Snowden and will gain as Mrs. Sands, do you
not think it wise—and wise you are, Tilly—any
longer to persist in your persistence?
You once, in a moment of weakness, confessed
to me—think of your having a moment of
weakness!—you once confessed to me, though
you may deny it now (Balzac defines woman
as the angel or devil who denies everything
when it suits her), you once confessed to me
that you feared your life would be taken up
with two protracted pleasures, each of which
curtailed the other: the pleasure of being
engaged to me a long time and the pleasure of
being married to me a long time. Nerve
yourself to shortening the first in order to
enter upon the compensations of the second.
Yet remorse racks me even at the prospect
of obliterating from the world one whom I
first knew and loved in it as Tilly Snowden.
Where will Tilly Snowden be when only
Mrs. Beverley Sands is left? Where will be that
wild rose in a snow bank—the rose which was
truly wild, the snow bank which was not cold
(or was it?)? I think I should easily become
reconciled to your being known, say, as
Madame Snowden, so that you might still
stand out in your own right and wild-rose
individuality. We could visit England as the
rising American author, Beverley Sands, and
his lovely risen wife, Madame Snowden.
Everybody would then be asking who the
mysterious Madame Snowden was, and I
should relate that she was a retired opera
singer—having retired before she advanced.
By the way, you confided to me some time
ago that you were not very well. You always
look well, mighty well to me, Tilly. Perfectly
well to me. Can your indisposition be
imaginary? Or is it merely fashionable?
Or—is it something else? What of late has
sickened me is an idea of yours that you
might sometime consult Doctor G. M. Tilly!
Tilly! If you knew the pains that rack me
when I think of that charlatan's door being
closed behind you as a patient of his!
Tell me it isn't true, and answer about the
beautiful Blackthornes!
Your easy and your uneasy
BEVERLEY.
TILLY SNOWDEN TO BEVERLEY SANDS
"Slippery Elm" Apartments,
June 4.
I am perfectly willing, Beverley, to crown
you with slippery elm—you seem to think I
keep it on hand, dwell in a bower of it—if it
is the leaf you sigh for. But please do not
try to crown me with a wig of your creative
hair; that is, with your literary honours.
How wonderfully the impressions of childhood
disappear from memory like breaths on
a warm mirror, but long afterwards return to
their shapes if the glass be coldly breathed
upon! As I read your letter, at least as I read
the very chilly Blackthorne parts of your
letter, I remembered, probably for the first
time in years, a friend of my mother's.
She had been inveigled to become the wife,
that is, the legally installed life-assistant, of
an exceedingly popular minister; and when I
was a little girl, but not too little to
understand—was I ever too little to understand?—she
used to slip across the street to our house
and in confidence to my mother pour out her
sense of humour at the part assigned her by
the hired wedding march and evangelical
housekeeping. I recall one of those half-whispered,
always half-whispered, confidences—for
how often in life one feels guilty when
telling the truth and innocent when lying!
On this particular morning she and my
mother laughed till they were weary, while I
danced round them with delight at the idea
of having even the tip of my small but very
active finger in any pie that savoured of mischief.
She had been telling my mother that if, some
Sunday, her husband accidentally preached a
sermon which brought people into the church,
she felt sure of soon receiving a turkey. If he
made a rousing plea for foreign missions, she
might possibly look out for a pair of ducks.
Her destiny, as she viewed it, was to be
merely a strip of worthless territory lying
alongside the land of Canaan; people simply
walked over her, tramped across her, on their
way to Canaan, carrying all sorts of bountiful
things to Canaan, her husband.
That childish nonsense comes back to me
strangely, and yet not strangely as I think of
your funny letter, your very, very funny
letter, about the Blackthornes' invitation to
me because I am not myself but am possibly
a Mrs.—well, some Mrs. Sands. The English
scenes you describe I see but too vividly: it
is Canaan and his strip all over again—there
on the English lawns; a great many heavy
English people are tramping heavily over me
on their way to Canaan. The fabulous tea at
Sandringham would be Canaan's cup, and at
Stonehenge it would be Canaan's muffin that
at last choked to death the ill-fated Tilly
Snowden.
In order to escape such a fate, Tilly Snowden,
then, begs that you will thank the Blackthornes,
Mr. and Mrs., as best you can for
their invitation; as best she can she thanks
you; but for the present, and for how much of
the future she does not know, she prefers to
remain what is very necessary to her
independence and therefore to her happiness; and
also what is quite pleasing to her ear—the
wild rose in the snow bank (cold or not cold,
according to the sun).
In other words, my dear Beverley, it is true
that I have more than once postponed the
date of our marriage. I have never said why;
perhaps I myself have never known just why.
But at least do not expect me to shorten the
engagement in order that I may secure some
share of your literary honours. As a little
girl I always despised queens who were
crowned with their husbands. It seemed to
me that the queen was crowned with what
was left over and was merely allowed to sit
on the corner of the throne as the poor
connection.
P.S.—Still, I would like to go to England.
I mean, of course, I wish we could go on our
wedding journey! If I got ready, could I
rely upon you? I have always wished to visit
England without being debarred from its
social life. Seriously, the invitation of the
Blackthornes looks to me like an opportunity
and an advantage not to be thrown away.
Wisdom never wastes, and you say I am
wise!
It is true that I have not been feeling very
well. And it is true that I have consulted
Dr. Marigold and am now a patient of his.
That dreaded door has closed behind me! I
have been alone with him! The diagnosis at
least was delightful. He made it appear like
opening a golden door upon a charming
landscape. I had but to step outdoors and look
around with a pleasant smile and say: "Why,
Health, my former friend, how do you do!
Why did you go back on me?" He tells me
my trouble is a mild form of auto-intoxication.
I said to him that must be the disease;
namely, that it was mild. Never in my life
had I had anything that was mild! Disease
from my birth up had attacked me only in its
most virulent form: so had health. I had
always enjoyed—and suffered from—virulent
health. I am going to take the Bulgar bacillus.
Why do you dislike Dr. Marigold? Popular
physicians are naturally hated by unpopular
physicians. But how does he run against or
run over you?
Which of your books was it the condescending
Englishman liked? Suppose you
send me a copy. Why not send me a copy of
each of your books? Those you gave me as
they came out seem to have disappeared.
The wild rose is now going to pour down
her graceful stalk a tubeful of the Balkan
bacillus.
More trouble with the Balkans!
TILLY
(auto-intoxicated, not otherwise
intoxicated! Thank Heaven at least
for that!).
BEVERLEY SANDS TO BEN DOOLITTLE
June 3.
DEAR BEN:
A bolt of divine lightning has struck me
out of the smiling blue, a benign fulmination
from an Olympian.
To descend the long slope of Olympus to
you. A few days ago I received a letter from
the great English novelist, Edward Blackthorne,
in praise of my work. The great
Edward reads my books and the great Ben
Doolittle doesn't—score heavily for the
aforesaid illustrious Eddy.
Of course I have for years known that you
do not cast your legal or illegal eyes on fiction,
though not long ago I heard you admit that
you had read "Ten Thousand a Year." On
the ground, that it is a lawyer's novel: which is
no ground at all, a mere mental bog. My
own opinion of why you read it is that you
were in search of information how to make
the ten thousand! As a literary performance
your reading "Ten Thousand a Year" may
be likened to the movement of a land-turtle
which has crossed to the opposite side of his
dusty road to bite off a new kind of weed,
waddling along his slow way under the
impenetrable roof of his own back.
For, my dear Ben, whom I love and trust
as I love and trust no other human being in
this world, do you know what I think of you
as most truly being? The very finest possible
specimen of the highest order of human
land-turtle. A land-turtle is a creature that lives
under a shovel turned upside down over it,
called its back; and a human land-turtle is a
fellow who thrives under the roof of the five
senses and the practical. Never does a turtle
get from under his carapace, and never does
the man-turtle get beyond the shovel of his
five senses. Of course you realise that not
during our friendship have I paid you so
extravagant a compliment. For the human race
has to be largely made up of millions of
land-turtles. They cause the world to go slowly,
and it is the admirable stability of their lives
neither to soar nor to sink. You are a
land-turtle, Benjamin Doolittle, Esquire; you live
under the shell of the practical; that is, you
have no imagination; that is, you do not read
fiction; that is, you do not read Me!
Therefore I harbour no grievance against you, but
cherish all the confidence and love in the
world for you. But, mind you, only as an
unparalleled creeping thing.
To get on with the business of this letter:
the English novelist laid aside his enthusiasm
for my work long enough to make a request:
he asked me to send him some Kentucky
ferns for his garden. Owing to my long
absence from Kentucky I am no longer in touch
with people and things down there. But you
left that better land only a few years ago. I
recollect that of old you manifested a
weakness for sending flowers to womankind—another
evidence, by the way, of lack of
imagination. Such conduct shows a mere
botanical estimate of the grand passion. The
only true lovers, the only real lovers, that
women ever have are men of imagination.
Why should these men send a common
florist's flowers! They grow and offer their
own—the roses of Elysium!
To pass on, you must still have clinging to
your memory, like bats to a darkened, disused
wall, the addresses of various Louisville
florists who, by daylight or candlelight and no
light at all, were the former emissaries of your
folly and your fickleness. Will you send me
at once the address of a firm in whose hands
I could safely entrust this very high-minded
international piece of business?
Inasmuch as you are now a New York
lawyer and inasmuch as New York lawyers
charge for everything—concentration of mind,
if they have any mind, tax on memory and
tax on income, their powers of locomotion and
of prevarication, club dues and death dues,
time and tumult, strikes and strokes, and all
other items of haste and waste, you are
authorised to regard this letter a professional
demand and to let me have a reasonable bill
at a not too early date. Charge for whatever
you will, but, I charge you, charge me not for
your friendship. "Naught that makes life
most worth while can be had for gold." (Rather
elegant extract from one of my
novels which you disdain to read!)
I shall be greatly obliged if you will let me
have an immediate reply.
BEVERLEY.
How is the fair Polly Boles? Still pretending
to quarrel? And do you still keep up the
pretence?
Predestined magpies!
BEN DOOLITTLE TO BEVERLEY SANDS
150 Broad Street,
June 5.
DEAR BEVERLEY:
Your highly complimentary and
philosophical missive is before my eyes.
You understand French, not I. But I have
accumulated a few quotations which I
sometimes venture to use in writing, never in
my proud oral delivery. If I pronounced to
the French the French with which I am
familiar, the French themselves would drive
their own vernacular out of their land—over
into Germany! Here is one of those fond
inaudible phrases:
A chaque oiseau
Son nid est beau.
That is to say, in Greek, every Diogenes
prefers his own tub.
The lines are a trophy captured at a college-club
dinner the other night. One of the
speakers launched the linguistic marvel on the
blue cloud of smoke and it went bumping
around the heads of the guests without
finding any head to enter, like a cork bobbing
about the edges of a pond, trying in vain to
strike a place to land. But everybody
cheered uproariously, made happy by the
discovery that someone actually could say
something at a New York dinner that nobody
had heard before. One man next to the
speaker (of course coached beforehand) passed
a translation to his elbow neighbour. It made
its way down the table to me at the other end
and I, in the New York way, laid it up for
future use at a dinner in some other city.
Meantime I use it now on you.
It is true that I arrived in New York from
Kentucky some years ago. It is likewise
undeniable that for some years previous thereto
I had dealings with Louisville florists. But I
affirm now, and all these variegated
gentlemen, if they are gentlemen, would gladly
come on to New York as my witnesses and
bear me out in the joyful affidavit, that
whatever folly or recklessness or madness marked
my behaviour, never once did I commit the
futility, the imbecility, of trafficking in ferns.
A great English novelist—ferns! A rising
young American novelist—ferns! Frogstools,
mushrooms, fungi! Man alive, why don't you
ship him a dray-load of Kentucky spiderwebs?
Or if they should be too gross for his delicate
soul, a birdcage containing a pair of warbling
young bluegrass moonbeams?
I am a land-turtle, am I? If it be so, thank
God! If I have no imagination, thank God!
If I live and move and have my being under
the shovel of the five senses and of the
practical, thank God! But, my good fellow, whom
I love and trust as I love and trust no other
man, if I am a turtle, do you know what I
think of you as most truly being?
A poor, harmless tinker.
You, with your pastime of fabricating
novels, dwell in a little workshop of the
imagination; you tinker with what you are
pleased to call human lives, reality, truth.
On your shop door should hang a sign to
catch the eye: "Tinkering done here. Noble,
splendid tinkering. No matter who you are,
what your past career or present extremity,
come in and let the owner of this shop make
your acquaintance and he will work you over
into something finer than you have ever been
or in this world will ever be. For he will make
you into an unfallen original or into a
perfected final. If you have never had a chance
to do your best in life, he will give you that
chance in a story. All unfortunates, all the
broken-down, especially welcome. Everybody
made over to be as everybody should be by
Beverley Sands."
But, brother, the sole thing with which you,
the tinker, do business is the sole thing with
which I, the turtle, do not do business. I, as
a lawyer, cannot tamper with human life,
actuality, truth. During the years that I
have been an attorney never have I had a
case in court without first of all things looking
for the element of imagination in it and trying
to stamp that element out of the case and kick
it out of the courtroom: that lurking scoundrel,
that indefatigable mischief-maker, your
beautiful and beloved patron power—imagination.
Going on to testify out of my experience as
a land-turtle, I depose the following, having
kissed the Bible, to wit: that during the
turtle's travels he sooner or later crosses the
tracks of most of the other animal creatures
and gets to know them and their ways. But
there is one path of one creature marked for
unique renown among nose-bearing men:
that of a graceful, agile, little black-and-white
piece of soft-furred nocturnal innocence—surnamed
the polecat.
Now the imagination, as long as it is favourably
disposed, may in your profession be the
harmless bird of paradise or whatever winged
thing you will that soars innocently toward
bright skies; but, once unkindly disposed, it
is in my profession, and in every other, the
polecat of the human faculties. When it has
testified against you, it vanishes from the
scene, but the whole atmosphere reeks with
its testimony.
Hence it is that I go gunning first for this
same little animal whose common den is the
lawsuit. His abode is everywhere, though
you never seem to have encountered him in
your work and walks. If you should do so, if
you should ever run into the polecat of a hostile
imagination, oh, then, my dear fellow, may
the land-turtle be able to crawl to you and
stand by you in that hour!
But—the tinker to his work, the turtle to
his! A chaque oiseau! Diogenes, your tub!
As to the fern business, I'll inquire of Polly.
I paid for the flowers, she got them. Anybody
can receive money for blossoms, but only a
statesman and a Christian, I suppose, can
fill an order for flowers with equity and fresh
buds. Go ahead and try Phillips & Faulds.
You could reasonably rely upon them to fill
any order that you might place in their hands,
however nonsensical-comical, billy-goatian-satirical
it may be. They'd send your Englishman
an opossum with a pouch full of
blooming hyacinths if that would quiet his
longing and make him happy. I should think
it might.
We are, sir, your obliged counsel and turtle,
BENJAMIN DOOLITTLE.
How is the fair Tilly Snowden? Still cooing?
Are you still cooing?
Uncertain doves!
BEN DOOLITTLE TO POLLY BOLES
150 Broad Street,
June 5.
DEAR POLLY:
I send you some red roses to go with your
black hair and your black eyes, never so
black as when black with temper. When
may I come to see you? Why not to-morrow
night?
Another matter, not so vital but still
important: a few years before we left Louisville
to seek our fortunes (and misfortunes) in New
York, I at different times employed divers
common carriers known as florists to convey
to you inflammatory symbols of those emotions
that could not be depicted in writing
fluid. In other words, I hired those
mercenaries to impress my infatuation upon you in
terms of their costliest, most sensational
merchandise. You should be prepared to say
which of these florists struck you as the best
business agent.
Would you send me the address of that man
or of that firm? Immediately you will want
to know why. Always suspicious! Let the
suspicions be quieted; it is not I, it is Beverley.
Some foggy-headed Englishman has besought
him to ship him (the foggy one) some
Kentucky vegetation all the way across the
broad Atlantic to his wet domain—interlocking
literary idiots! Beverley appeals to
me, I to you, the highest court in everything.
Are you still enjoying the umbrageous
society of that giraffe-headed jackass, Doctor
Claude Mullen? Can you still tolerate his
unimpassioned propinquity and futile gyrations?
He a nerve specialist! The only nerve
in his practice is his nerve. Doesn't my
love satisfy you? Isn't there enough of it?
Isn't it the right kind? Will it ever give
out?
Your reply, then, will cover four points:
to thank me for the red roses; to say when I
may come to see you; to send me the address
of the Louisville florist who became most
favourably known to you through a reckless
devotion; and to explain your patience with
that unhappy fool.
Thy sworn and thy swain,
BEN DOOLITTLE.
POLLY BOLES TO BEN DOOLITTLE
The Franklin Flats,
June 6.
MY DEAR BEN:
Your writing to me for the name of a Louisville
florist is one of your flimsiest subterfuges.
What you wished to receive from me was a
letter of reassurance. You were disagreeable
on your last visit and you have since been
concerned as to how I felt about it afterwards.
Now you try to conciliate me by invoking my
aid as indispensable. That is like you men!
If one of you can but make a woman forget,
if he can but lead her to forgive him, by
flattering her with the idea that she is
indispensable! And that is like woman! I see her
figure standing on the long road of time:
dumbly, patiently standing there, waiting for
some male to pass along and permit her to
accompany him as his indispensable
fellow-traveller. I am now to be put in a good
humour by being honoured with your request
that I supply you with the name of a florist.
Well, you poor, uninformed Ben, I'll supply
you. All the Louisville florists, as I thought
at the time, carried out their instructions
faithfully; that is, from each I occasionally
received flowers not fresh. Did it occur to
me to blame the florists? Never! I did what
a woman always does: she thinks less of—well,
she doesn't think less of the florist!
Be this as it may, Beverley might try
Phillips & Faulds for whatever he is to export.
As nearly as I now remember they sent the
biggest boxes of whatever you ordered!
I have an appointment for to-morrow night,
but I think I can arrange to divide the evening,
giving you the later half. It shall be for
you to say whether the best half was yours.
That will depend upon you.
I still enjoy the "umbrageous society" of
Dr. Claude Mullen because he loves me and
I do not love him. The fascination of his
presence lies in my indifference. Perhaps
women are so seldom safe with the men who
love them, that any one of us feels herself
entitled to make the most of a rare chance!
I am not only safe, I am entertained. As I
go down into the parlour, I almost feel that
I ought to buy a ticket to a performance in
my own private theatre.
Ben, dear, are you going to commit the
folly of being jealous? If I had to marry him,
do you know what my first wifely present
would be? A liberal transfusion of my own
blood! As soon as I enter the room, what
fascinates me are his lower eyelids, which
hold little cupfuls of sentimental fluid. I am
always expecting the little pools to run over:
then there would be tears. The night he goes
for good—perhaps they will be tears that
night.
If you ask me how can I, if I feel thus about
him, still encourage his visits, I have simply
to say that I don't know. When it comes to
what a woman will "receive" in such cases,
the ground she walks on is very uncertain to
her own feet. It may be that the one thing
she forever craves and forever fears not to
get is absolute certainty, certainty that some
day love for her will not be over, everything be
not ended she knows not why. Dr. Mullen's
love is pitiful, and as long as a man's love is
pitiful at least a woman can be sure of it.
Therefore he is irresistible—as my guest!
The roses are glorious. I bury my face in
them down to the thorns. And then I come
over and sign my name as the indispensable
POLLY BOLES.
POLLY BOLES TO TILLY SNOWDEN
June 6.
DEAR TILLY:
I have had a note from Beverley, asking
whether he could come this evening. I have
written that I have an appointment, but I did
not enlighten him as to the appointment being
with you. Why not let him suffer awhile? I
will explain afterwards. I told him that I
could perhaps arrange to divide the evening;
would you mind? And would you mind coming
early? I will do as much for you some
time, and I suspect I couldn't do more!
P.S.—Rather than come for the first half
of the evening perhaps you would prefer to
postpone your visit altogether. It would
suit me just as well; better in fact. There
really was something very particular, Tilly
dear, that I wanted to talk to Ben about
to-night.
I shall not look for you at all this evening,
best of friends.
POLLY BOLES.
TILLY SNOWDEN TO POLLY BOLES
June 6.
DEAR POLLY:
The very particular something to talk to
Ben about to-night is the identical something
for every other night. And nothing could be
more characteristic of you, as soon as you
heard that my visit would clash with one of
his, than your eagerness to push me partly
out of the house in a hurried letter and then
push me completely out in a quiet postscript.
Being a woman, I understand your temptation
and your tactics. I fully sympathise
with you.
Continue in ease of mind, my most trusted
intimate. I shall not drop in to interrupt you
and Ben—both not so young as you once were
and both getting stout—heavy Polly, heavy
Ben—as you sit side by side in your little
Franklin Flat parlour. That parlour always
suggests to me an enormous turnip hollowed
out square: with no windows; with a hole on
one side to come in and a hole on the other
side to go out; upholstered in enormous
bunches of beets and horse-radish, and lighted
with a wilted electric sunflower. There you
two will sit to-night, heavy Polly, heavy Ben,
suffocating for fresh air and murmuring to
each other as you have murmured for years:
"I do! I do!"
"I do! I do!"
One sentence in your letter, Polly dear,
takes your photograph like a camera; the result
is a striking likeness. That sentence is this:
"Why not let him suffer awhile? I will
explain afterwards."
That is exactly what you will do, what you
would always do: explain afterwards. In
other words, you plot to make Ben jealous
but fear to make him too jealous lest he desert
you. If on the evening of this visit you should
forget "to explain," and if during the night
you should remember, you would, if need
were, walk barefoot through the streets in
your nightgown and tap on his window-shutter,
if you could reach it, and say: "Ben,
that appointment wasn't with any other man;
it was with Tilly. I could not sleep until I
had told you!"
That is, you have already disposed of
yourself, breath and soul, to Ben; and while you
are waiting for the marriage ceremony, you
have espoused in his behalf what you consider
your best and strongest trait—loyalty. Under
the goadings of this vampire trait you will, a
few years after marriage, have devoured all
there is of Ben alive and will have taken your
seat beside what are virtually his bones. As
the years pass, the more ravenously you will
preside over the bones. Never shall the world
say that Polly Boles was disloyal to whatever
was left of her dear Ben Doolittle!
Your loyalty! I believe the first I saw of it
was years ago one night in Louisville when
you and I were planning to come to New York
to live. Naturally we were much concerned
by the difficulties of choosing our respective
New York residences and we had written on
and had received thumb-nailed libraries of
romance about different places. As you
looked over the recommendations of each, you
came upon one called The Franklin Flats.
The circular contained appropriate
quotations from Poor Richard's Almanac. I
remember how your face brightened as you
said: "This ought to be the very thing." One
of the quotations on the circular ran
somewhat thus: "Beware of meat twice
boiled"; and you said in consequence: "So
they must have a good restaurant!"
In other words, you believed that a house
named after Franklin could but resemble
Franklin. A building put up in New York
by a Tammany contractor, if named after
Benjamin Franklin and advertised with
quotations from Franklin's works, would embody
the traits of that remote national hero! To
your mind—not to your imagination, for you
haven't any—to your mind, and you have a
great deal of mind, the bell-boys, the
superintendent, the scrub woman, the chambermaids,
the flunkied knave who stands at the
front door—all these were loyally congregated
as about a beloved mausoleum. You are still
in the Franklin Flats! I know what you have
long suffered there; but move away! Not
Polly Boles. She will be loyal to the building
as long as the building stands by the
contractor and the contractor stands by profits
and losses.
While on the subject of loyalty, not your
loyalty but woman's loyalty, I mean to
finish with it. And I shall go on to say that
occasionally I have sat behind a plate-glass
window in some Fifth Avenue shop and have
studied woman's organised loyalty, unionised
loyalty, standardised loyalty. This takes
effect in those processions that now and
then sweep up the Avenue as though they
were Crusaders to the Holy Sepulchre. The
marchers try first not to look self-conscious;
all try, secondly, to look devoted to "the
cause." But beneath all other expressions
and differences of expression I have always
seen one reigning look as plainly as though it
were printed in enormous letters on a banner
flying over their heads:
"Strictly Monogamous Women."
At such times I have felt a wild desire, when
I should hear of the next parade, to organise
a company of unenthralled young girls who
with unfettered natures and unfettered
features should tramp up the Avenue under their
own colours. If the women before them—those
loyal ones—would actually carry, as
they should, a banner with the legend I have
described, then my company of girls should
unfurl to the breeze their flag with the truth
blazoned on it:
"Not Necessarily Monogamous!"
The honest human crowd, watching and
applauding us, would pack the Avenue from
sidewalks to roofs.
Between you and me everything seems to
be summed up in one difference: all my life
I have wanted to go barefoot and all your life,
no matter what the weather, you have been
solicitous to put on goloshes.
My very nature is rooted in rebellion that
in a world alive and running over with
irresistible people, a woman must be doomed to
find her chief happiness in just one! The
heart going out to so many in succession, and
the hand held by one; year after year your
hand held by the first man who impulsively
got possession of it. Every instinct of my
nature would be to jerk my hand away and
be free! To give it again and again.
This subject weighs crushingly on me as I
struggle with this letter because I have
tidings for you about myself. I am to write
words which I have long doubted I should
ever write, life's most iron-bound words.
Polly, I suppose I am going to be married at
last. Of course it is Beverley. Not without
waverings, not without misgivings. But I'd
feel those, be the man whoever he might.
Why I feel thus I do not know, but I know I
feel. I tell you this first because it was you
who brought Beverley and me together, who
have always believed in his career. (Though
I think that of late you have believed more
in him and less in me.) I, too, am beginning
to believe in his career. He has lately
ascertained that his work is making a splendid
impression in England. If he succeeds in
England, he will succeed in this country. He has
received an invitation to visit some delightful
and very influential people in England and
"to bring me along!" Think of anybody
bringing me along! If we should be
entertained by these people [they are the
Blackthornes], such is English social life, that we
should also get to know the white Thornes
and the red Thornes—the whole social forest.
The iron rule of my childhood was economy;
and the influence of that iron rule over me is
inexorable still: I cannot even contemplate
such prodigal wastage in life as not to accept
this invitation and gather in its wealth of
consequences.
More news of me, very, very important: at
last I have made the acquaintance of George
Marigold. I have become one of his patients.
Beverley is furious. I enclose a letter from
him. You need not return it. I shall not
answer it. I shall leave things to his imagination
and his imagination will give him no rest.
If Ben hurled at you a jealous letter about
Dr. Mullen, you would immediately write to
remove his jealousy. You would even ridicule
Dr. Mullen to win greater favour in Ben's
eyes. That is, you would do an abominable
thing, never doubting that Ben would admire
you the more. And you would be right; for
as Ben observed you tear Dr. Mullen to
pieces to feed his vanity, he would lean back
in his chair and chuckle within himself:
"Glorious, staunch old Polly!"
And what you would do in this instance you
will do all your life: you will practise disloyalty
to every other human being, as in this letter
you have practised it with me, for the sake
of loyalty to Ben: your most pronounced,
most horrible trait.
TILLY SNOWDEN.
POLLY BOLES TO TILLY SNOWDEN
June 7.
DEAR TILLY:
I return Beverley's letter. Without comment,
since I did not read it. You know how
I love Beverley, respect him, believe in him.
I have a feeling for him unlike that for any
other human being, not even Ben; I look upon
him as set apart and sacred because he has
genius and belongs to the world.
As for his faults, those that I have not
already noticed I prefer to find out for
myself. I have never cared to discover any
human being's failings through a third person.
Instead of getting acquainted with the
pardonable traits of the abused, I might really
be introduced to the abominable traits of the
abuser.
Once more, you think you are going to marry
Beverley! I shall reserve my congratulations
for the event itself.
Thank you for surrendering your claim on
my friendship and society last night. Ben
and I had a most satisfactory evening, and
when not suffocating we murmured "I do"
to our hearts' content.
Next time, should your visits clash, I'll
push him out. Yet I feel in honour bound to
say that this is only my present state of mind.
I might weaken at the last moment—even in
the Franklin Flats.
As to some things in your letter, I have long
since learned not to bestow too much
attention upon anything you say. You court a
kind of irresponsibility in language. With
your inborn and over-indulged willfulness you
love to break through the actual and to revel
in the imaginary. I have become rather used
to this as one of your growing traits and I am
therefore not surprised that in this letter you
say things which, if seriously spoken, would
insult your sex and would make them recoil
from you—or make them wish to burn you at
the stake. When you march up Fifth Avenue
with your company of girls in that kind of
procession, there will not be any Fifth Avenue:
you will be tramping through the slums where
you belong.
All this, I repeat, is merely your way—to
take things out in talking. But we can make
words our playthings in life's shallows until
words wreck us as their playthings in life's
deeps.
Still, in return for your compliments to me,
which, of course, you really mean, I paid you
one the other night when thinking of you
quite by myself. It was this: nature seems
to leave something out of each of us, but we
presently discover that she perversely put it
where it does not belong.
What she left out of you, my dear, was the
domestic tea-kettle. There isn't even any
place for one. But she made up for lack of
the kettle by rather overdoing the stove!
Your discreet friend,
POLLY BOLES.
BEVERLEY SANDS TO PHILLIPS & FAULDS
Cathedral Heights, New York,
June 7, 1900.
GENTLEMEN:
A former customer of yours, Mr. Benjamin
Doolittle, has suggested your firm as reliable
agents to carry out an important commission,
which I herewith describe:
I enclose a list of Kentucky ferns. I desire
you to make a collection of these ferns and to
ship them, expenses prepaid, to Edward
Blackthorne, Esquire, King Alfred's Wood,
Warwickshire, England. The cost is not to
exceed twenty-five dollars. To furnish you
the needed guarantee, as well as to avoid
unnecessary correspondence, I herewith enclose,
payable to your order, my check for that
amount.
Will you let me have a prompt reply, stating
whether you will undertake this commission
and see it through?
Very truly yours,
BEVERLEY SANDS.
PHILLIPS & FAULDS TO BEVERLEY SANDS
Louisville, Ky.,
June 10, 1900.
DEAR SIR:
Your valued letter with check for $25
received. We handle most of the ferns on the
list, and know the others and can easily get
them.
You may rely upon your valued order
receiving the best attention. Thanking you for
the same,
Yours very truly,
PHILLIPS & FAULDS.
BEVERLEY SANDS TO EDWARD BLACKTHORNE
Cathedral Heights, New York,
June 15, 1910.
MY DEAR MR. BLACKTHORNE:
Your second letter came into the port of
my life like an argosy from a rich land. I
think you must have sent it with some
remembrance of your own youth, or out of your
mature knowledge of youth itself; how too
often it walks the shore of its rocky world,
cutting its bare feet on sharp stones, as it
strains its eyes toward things far beyond its
horizon but not beyond its faith and hope.
Some day its ship comes in and it sets sail
toward the distant ideal. How much the opening
of the door of your friendship, of your life,
means to me! A new consecration envelops
the world that I am to be the guest of a great
man. If words do not say more, it is because
words say so little.
Delay has been unavoidable in any mere
formal acknowledgment of your letter. You
spoke in it of the hinges of a book. My
silence has been due to the arrangement of
hinges for the shipment of the ferns. I
wished to insure their safe transoceanic
passage and some inquiries had to be made in
Kentucky.
You may rely upon it that the matter will
receive the best attention. In good time the
ferns, having reached the end of their journey,
will find themselves put down in your garden
as helpless immigrants. From what outlook
I can obtain upon the scene of their reception,
they should lack only hands to reach
confidingly to you and lack only feet to run with
all their might away from Hodge.
I acknowledge—with the utmost thanks—the
unusual and beautiful courtesy of
Mrs. Blackthorne's and your invitation to my wife,
if I have one, and to me. It is the dilemma
of my life, at the age of twenty-seven, to be
obliged to say that such a being as Mrs. Sands
exists, but that nevertheless there is no
such person.
Can you imagine a man's stretching out his
hand to pluck a peach and just before he
touched the peach, finding only the bough of
the tree? Then, as from disappointment he
was about to break off the offensive bough,
seeing again the dangling peach? Can you
imagine this situation to be of long
continuance, during which he could neither take
hold of the peach nor let go of the tree—nor
go away? If you can, you will understand
what I mean when I say that my bride
persists in remaining unwed and I persist in
wooing. I do not know why; she protests
that she does not know; but we do know that
life is short, love shorter, that time flies, and
we are not husband and wife.
If she remains undecided when Summer
returns, I hope Mrs. Blackthorne and you will
let me come alone.
Thus I can thank you with certainty for
one with the hope that I may yet thank you
for two.
I am,
Sincerely yours,
BEVERLEY SANDS.
P.S.—Can you pardon the informality of
a postscript?
As far as I can see clearly into a cloudy
situation, marriage is denied me on account
of the whole unhappy history of
woman—which is pretty hard. But a good many
American ladies—the one I woo among them—are
indignant just now that they are being
crowded out of their destinies by husbands—or
even possibly by bachelors. These ladies
deliver lectures to one another with discontented
eloquence and rouse their auditresses
to feministic frenzy by reminding them that
for ages woman has walked in the shadow of
man and that the time has come for the worm
[the woman] to turn on the shadow or to
crawl out of it.
My dear Mr. Blackthorne, I need hardly
say that the only two shadows I could ever
think of casting on the woman I married
would be that of my umbrella whenever it
rained, and that of her parasol whenever the
sun shone. But I do maintain that if there
is not enough sunshine for the men and women
in the world, if there has to be some casting
of shadows in the competition and the crowding,
I do maintain that the casting of the
shadow would better be left to the man. He
has had long training, terrific experience, in
this mortal business of casting the shadow,
has learned how to moderate it and to hold
it steady! The woman at least knows where
it is to be found, should she wish to avail
herself of it. But what would be the state of a
man in his need of his spouse's penumbra?
He would be out of breath with running to
keep up with the penumbra or to find where
it was for the time being!
I have seen some of these husbands who
live—or have gradually died out—in the
shadow of their wives; they are nature's
subdued farewell to men and gentlemen.
DIARY OF BEVERLEY SANDS
June 16.
A remarkable thing has lately happened to
me.
One of my Kentucky novels, upon being
republished in London some months ago,
fell into the hands of a sympathetic reviewer.
This critic's praise later made its way to the
stately library of Edward Blackthorne. What
especially induced the latter to read the book,
I infer, were lines quoted by the reviewer
from my description of a woodland scene with
ferns in it: the mighty novelist, as it happens,
is himself interested in ferns. He consequently
wrote to some other English authors
and critics, calling attention to my work, and
he sent a letter to me, asking for some ferns
for his garden.
This recognition in England hilariously
affected my friends over here. Tilly, whose
mind suggests to me a delicately poised pair
of golden balances for weighing delight against
delight (always her most vital affair), when
this honour for me fell into the scales, found
them inclined in my favour. If it be true, as
I have often thought, that she has long been
holding on to me merely until she could take
sure hold of someone else of more splendid
worldly consequence, she suddenly at least
tightened her temporary grasp. Polly, good,
solid Polly, wholesome and dependable as a
well-browned whole-wheat baker's loaf
weighing a hundred and sixty pounds, when she
heard of it, gave me a Bohemian supper in
her Franklin Flat parlour, inviting only a
few undersized people, inasmuch as she and
Ben, the chief personages of the entertainment,
took up most of the room. We were
so packed in, that literally it was a night in
Bohemia aux sardines.
Since the good news from England came
over, Ben, with his big, round, clean-shaven,
ruddy face and short, reddish curly hair,
which makes him look like a thirty-five-year-old
Bacchus who had never drunk a drop—even
Ben has beamed on me like a mellower
orb. He is as ashamed as ever of my books,
but is beginning to feel proud that so many
more people are being fooled by them.
Several times lately I have caught his eyes
resting on me with an expression of affectionate
doubt as to whether after all he might be
mistaken in not having thought more of me.
But he dies hard. My publisher, who is a
human refrigerator containing a mental
thermometer, which rises or falls toward like or
dislike over a background for book-sales, got
wind of the matter and promptly invited me
to one of his thermometric club-lunches—always
an occasion for acute gastritis.
Rumour of my fame has permeated my club,
where, of course, the leading English reviews
are kept on file. Some of the members must
have seen the favourable criticisms. One
night I became aware as I passed through the
rooms that club heroes seated here and there
threw glances of fresh interest toward me and
exchanged auspicious words. The president—who
for so long a time has styled himself the
Nestor of the club that he now believes it is
the members who do this, the garrulous old
president, whose weaknesses have made holes
in him through which his virtues sometimes
leak out and get away, met me under the
main chandelier and congratulated me in
tones so intentionally audible that they
violated the rules but were not punishable under
his personal privileges.
There was a sinister incident: two members
whom Ben and I wish to kick because they
have had the audacity to make the acquaintance
of Tilly and Polly, and whom we despise
also because they are fashionable charlatans
in their profession—these two with dark looks
saw the president congratulate me.
More good fortune yet to come! The ferns
which I am sending Mr. Blackthorne will
soon be growing in his garden. The illustrious
man has many visitors; he leads them,
if he likes, to his fern bank. "These," he will
some day say, "came from Christine Nilsson.
These are from Barbizon in memory of Corot.
These were sent me by Turgenieff. And
these," he will add, turning to his guests,
"these came from a young American novelist,
a Kentuckian, whose work I greatly respect:
you must read his books." The guests
separate to their homes to pursue the subject.
Spreading fame—may it spread! Last of all,
the stirring effect of this on me, who now run
toward glory as Anacreon said Cupid ran
toward Venus—with both feet and wings.
The ironic fact about all this commotion
affecting so many solid, substantial people—the
ironic fact is this:
There was no woodland scene and there were
no ferns.
Here I reach the curious part of my
story.
When I was a country lad of some seventeen
years in Kentucky, one August afternoon
I was on my way home from a tramp of
several miles. My course lay through patches
of woods—last scant vestiges of the primeval
forest—and through fields garnered of summer
grain or green with the crops of coming
autumn. Now and then I climbed a fence
and crossed an old woods-pasture where stock
grazed.
The August sky was clear and the sun beat
down with terrific heat. I had been walking
for hours and parching thirst came upon me.
This led me to remember how once these
rich uplands had been the vast rolling forest
that stretched from far-off eastern mountains
to far-off western rivers, and how under its
shade, out of the rock, everywhere bubbled
crystal springs. A land of swift forest streams
diamond bright, drinking places of the bold
game.
The sun beat down on me in the treeless
open field. My feet struck into a path. It,
too, became a reminder: it had once been a
trail of the wild animals of that verdurous
wilderness. I followed its windings—a sort of
gully—down a long, gentle slope. The
windings had no meaning now: the path could
better have been straight; it was devious
because the feet that first marked it off had
threaded their way crookedly hither and
thither past the thick-set trees.
I reached the spring—a dry spot under the
hot sun; no tree overshadowing it, no vegetation
around it, not a blade of grass; only dust
in which were footprints of the stock which
could not break the habit of coming to it but
quenched their thirst elsewhere. The bulged
front of some limestone rock showed where
the ancient mouth of the spring had been.
Enough moisture still trickled forth to wet a
few clods. Hovering over these, rising and
sinking, a little quivering jet of gold, a flock
of butterflies. The grey stalk of a single dead
weed projected across the choked orifice of
the fountain and one long, brown grasshopper—spirit
of summer dryness—had crawled out
to the edge and sat motionless.
A few yards away a young sycamore had
sprung up from some wind-carried seed. Its
grey-green leaves threw a thin scarred shadow
on the dry grass and I went over and lay
down under it to rest—my eyes fixed on the
forest ruin.
Years followed with their changes. I being
in New York with my heart set on building
whatever share I could of American literature
upon Kentucky foundations, I at work on a
novel, remembered that hot August afternoon,
the dry spring, and in imagination restored
the scene as it had been in the Kentucky
of the pioneers.
I now await with eagerness all further
felicities that may originate in a woodland
scene that did not exist. What else will grow
for me out of ferns that never grew?
EDWARD BLACKTHORNE TO BEVERLEY SANDS
King Alfred's Wood,
Warwickshire, England,
May 1, 1911.
DEAR SIR:
It is the first of the faithful leafy May
again. I sit at my windows as on this day a
year ago and look out with thankfulness upon
what a man may call the honour of the
vegetable world.
A year ago to-day I, misled by a book of
yours or by some books—for I believe I read
more than one of them—I, betrayed by the
phrase that when we touch a book we touch
a man, overstepped the boundaries of caution
as to having any dealings with glib, plausible
strangers and wrote you a letter. I made a
request of you in that letter. I thought the
request bore with it a suitable reward: that
I should be grateful if you would undertake
to have some ferns sent to me for my collection.
Your sleek reply led me still further astray
and I wrote again. I drew my English cloak
from my shoulders and spread it on the ground
for you to step on. I threw open to you the
doors of my hospitality, good-fellowship.
That was last May. Now it is May again.
And now I know to a certainty what for
months I have been coming to realise always
with deeper shame: that you gave me your
word and did not keep your word; doubtless
never meant to keep it.
Why, then, write you about this act of
dishonour now? How justify a letter to a man
I feel obliged to describe as I describe you?
The reason is this, if you can appreciate
such a reason. My nature refuses to let go a
half-done deed. I remain annoyed by an
abandoned, a violated, bond. Once in a wood
I came upon a partly chopped-down tree, and
I must needs go far and fetch an axe and
finish the job. What I have begun to build I
must build at till the pattern is wrought out.
Otherwise I should weaken, soften, lose the
stamina of resolution. The upright moral
skeleton within me would decay and crumble and
I should sink down and flop like a human frog.
Since, then, you dropped the matter in
your way—without so much as a thought of
a man's obligation to himself—I dismiss it in
my way—with the few words necessary to
enable me to rid my mind of it and of such a
character.
I wish merely to say, then, that I despise
as I despise nothing else the ragged edge of a
man's behaviour. I put your conduct before
you in this way: do you happen to know of a
common cabbage in anybody's truck patch?
Observe that not even a common cabbage
starts out to do a thing and fails to do it if it
can. You must have some kind of perception
of an oak tree. Think what would become of
human beings in houses if builders were
deceived as to the trusty fibre of sound oak?
Do you ever see a grape-vine? Consider how
it takes hold and will not be shaken loose by
the capricious compelling winds. In your
country have you the plover? Think what
would be the plover's fate, if it did not steer
straight through time and space to a distant
shore. Why, some day pick up merely a
piece of common quartz. Study its powers
of crystallisation. And reflect that a man
ranks high or low in the scale of character
according to his possession or his lack of the
powers of crystallisation. If the forces of his
mind can assume fixity around an idea, if
they can adjust themselves unalterably about
a plan, expect something of him. If they run
through his hours like water, if memory is
a millstream, if remembrance floats forever
away, expect nothing.
Simple, primitive folk long ago interpreted
for themselves the characters of familiar
plants about them. Do you know what to
them the fern stood for? The fern stood for
Fidelity. Those true, constant souls would
have said that you had been unfaithful even
with nature's emblems of Fidelity.
The English sky is clear to-day. The sunlight
falls in a white radiance on my plants.
I sit at my windows with my grateful eyes on
honest out-of-doors. There is a shadow on a
certain spot in the garden; I dislike to look
at it. There is a shadow on the place where
your books once stood on my library shelves.
Your specious books!—your cleverly
manufactured books!—but there are successful
scamps in every profession.
I am,
Very truly yours,
EDWARD BLACKTHORNE.
BEVERLEY SANDS TO EDWARD BLACKTHORNE
Cathedral Heights,
May 10, 1911.
DEAR SIR:
I wish to inform you that I have just
received from you a letter in which you attack
my character. I wish in reply further to
inform you that I have never felt called upon
to defend my character. Nor will I, even
with this letter of yours as evidence, attack
your character.
I am,
Very truly yours,
BEVERLEY SANDS.
BEVERLEY SANDS TO BEN DOOLITTLE
May 13, 1911.
DEAR BEN:
I ask your attention to the enclosed letter
from Mr. Edward Blackthorne. By way of
contrast and also of reminder, lest you may
have forgotten, I send you two other letters
received from him last year. I shared with
you at the time the agreeable purport of these
earlier letters. This last letter came three
days ago and for three days I have been
trying to quiet down sufficiently even to write
to you about it. At last I am able to do so.
You will see that Mr. Blackthorne has
never received the ferns. Then where have
they been all this time? I took it for granted
that they had been shipped. The order was
last spring placed with the Louisville firm
recommended by you. They guaranteed the
execution of the order. I forwarded to them
my cheque. They cashed my cheque. The
voucher was duly returned to me cancelled
through my bank. I could not suppose they
would take my cheque unless they had
shipped the plants. They even wrote me
again in the Autumn of their own accord,
stating that the ferns were about to be sent
on—Autumn being the most favourable season.
Then where are the ferns?
I felt so sure of their having reached
Mr. Blackthorne that I harboured a certain
grievance and confess that I tried to make generous
allowance for him as a genius in his never
having acknowledged their arrival.
I have demanded of Phillips & Faulds an
immediate explanation. As soon as they reply
I shall let you hear further. The fault may
be with them; in the slipshod Southern way
they may have been negligent. My cheque
may even have gone as a bridal present to
some junior member of the firm or to help
pay the funeral expenses of the senior member.
There is trouble somewhere behind and I
think there is trouble ahead.
Premonitions are for nervous or over-sanguine
ladies; but if some lady will kindly
lend me one of her premonitions, I shall admit
that I have it and on the strength of it—or
the weakness—declare my belief that the
mystery of the ferns is going to uncover some
curious and funny things.
As to the rest of Mr. Blackthorne's letter:
after these days of turbulence, I have come to
see my way clear to interpret it thus: a great
man, holding a great place in the world,
offered his best to a stranger and the stranger,
as the great man believes, turned his back on
it. That is the grievance, the insult. If
anything could be worse, it is my seeming
discourtesy to Mrs. Blackthorne, since the
invitation came also from her. In a word, here
is a genius who strove to advance my work
and me, and he feels himself outraged in his
kindness, his hospitality, his friendship and
his family—in all his best.
But of course that is the hardest of all
human things to stand. Men who have
treated each other but fairly well or even
badly in ordinary matters often in time
become friends. But who of us ever forgives
the person that slights our best? Out of a
rebuff like that arises such life-long
unforgiveness, estrangement, hatred, that Holy Writ
itself doubtless for this very reason took pains
to issue its warning—no pearls before swine!
And perhaps of all known pearls a great native
British pearl is the most prized by its British
possessor!
The reaction, then, from Mr. Blackthorne's
best has been his worst: if I did not merit his
best, I deserve his worst; hence his last letter.
God have mercy on the man who deserved
that letter! You will have observed that his
leading trait as revealed in all his letters is
enormous self-love. That's because he is a
genius. Genius has to have enormous
self-love. Beware the person who has none!
Without self-love no one ever wins any other's
love.
Thus the mighty English archer with his
mighty bow shot his mighty arrow—but at
an innocent person.
Still the arrow of this letter, though it
misses me, kills my plans. The first trouble
will be Tilly. Our marriage had been finally
fixed for June, and our plans embraced a
wedding journey to England and the acceptance
of the invitation of the Blackthornes.
The prospect of this wonderful English
summer—I might as well admit it—was one thing
that finally steadied all her wavering as to
marriage.
Now the disappointment: no Blackthornes,
no English celebrities to greet us as American
celebrities, no courtesies from critics, no lawns,
no tea nor toast nor being toasted. Merely
two unknown, impoverished young Yankee
tourists, trying to get out of chilly England
what can be gotten by anybody with a few,
a very few, dollars.
But Tilly dreads disappointment as she
dreads disease. To her disappointment is a
disease in the character of the person who
inflicts the disappointment. Once I tried to
get you to read one of Balzac's masterpieces,
The Magic Skin. I told you enough about it
to enable you to understand what I now say:
that ever since I became engaged to Tilly I
have been to her as a magic skin which, as
she cautiously watches it, has always shrunk
a little whenever I have encountered a defeat
or brought her a disappointment. No later
success, on the contrary, ever re-expands the
shrunken skin: it remains shrunken where
each latest disappointment has left it.
Now when I tell her of my downfall and the
collapse of the gorgeous summer plans!
BEVERLEY
(the Expanding Scamp and the
Shrinking Skin).
BEN DOOLITTLE TO BEVERLEY SANDS
May 14th.
DEAR BEVERLEY:
I have duly pondered the letters you send.
"Fie, fee, fo, fum,
I smell the blood of an Englishman!"
If you do not mind, I shall keep these documents
from him in my possession. And suppose
you send me all later letters, whether
from him or from anyone else, that bear on
this matter. It begins to grow interesting
and I believe it will bear watching. Make me,
then, as your lawyer, the custodian of all
pertinent and impertinent papers. They can go
into the locker where I keep your immortal
but impecunious Will. Some day I might
have to appear in court, I with my shovel and
five senses and no imagination, to plead une
cause célèbre (a little more of my scant
intimate French).
The explanation I give of this gratuitously
insulting letter is that at last you have run
into a hostile human imagination in the
person of an old literary polecat, an aged
book-skunk. Of course if I could decorate my style
after the manner of your highly creative
gentlemen, I might say that you had unwarily
crossed the nocturnal path of his touchy
moonlit mephitic highness.
I am not surprised, of course, that this
letter has caused you to think still more
highly of its writer. I tell you that is your
profession—to tinker—to turn reality into
something better than reality.
Some day I expect to see you emerge from
your shop with a fish story. Intending buyers
will find that you have entered deeply into
the ideals and difficulties of the man-eating
shark: how he could not swim freely for
whales in his track and could not breathe
freely for minnows in his mouth; how he got
pinched from behind by the malice of the
lobster and got shocked on each side by the
eccentricities of the eel. The other fish did
not appreciate him and he grew embittered—and
then only began to bite. You will make
over the actual shark and exhibit him to your
reader as the ideal shark—a kind of beloved
disciple of the sea, the St. John of fish.
Anything imaginative that you might make
out of a shark would be a minor achievement
compared with what you have done for this
Englishman. Might the day come, the
avenging day, when Benjamin Doolittle could get
a chance to write him just one letter! May
the god of battles somehow bring about a
meeting between the middle-aged land-turtle
and the aged skunk! On that field of Mars
somebody's fur will have to fly and it will
not be the turtle's, for he hasn't any.
You speak of a trouble that looms up in
your love affair: let it loom. The nearer it
looms, the better for you. I have repeatedly
warned you that you have bound your life
and happiness to the wrong person, and the
person is constantly becoming worse.
Detach your apparatus of dreams at last from
her. Take off your glorious rainbow world-goggles
and see the truth before it is too late.
Do not fail, unless you object, to send me
all letters incoming about the ferns—those
now celebrated bushes.
BENJAMIN DOOLITTLE.
PHILLIPS & FAULDS TO BEVERLEY SANDS
May 13, 1911.
DEAR SIR:
We acknowledge receipt of your letter of
May 10 relative to an order for ferns.
It is decidedly rough. The senior member
of our firm who formerly had charge of this
branch of our business has been seriously ill
for several months, and it was only after we
had communicated with him at home in bed
that we were able to extract from him
anything at all concerning your esteemed order.
He informs us that he turned the order
over to Messrs. Burns & Bruce, native fern
collectors of Dunkirk, Tenn., who wrote that
they would gather the ferns and forward them
to the designated address. He likewise
informs us that inasmuch as the firm of Burns
& Bruce, as we know only too well, has long
been indebted to this firm for a considerable
amount, he calculated that they would willingly
ship the ferns in partial liquidation of
our old claims.
It seems, as he tells us, that they did
actually gather the ferns and get them ready
for shipment, but at the last minute changed
their mind and called on our firm for
payment. There the matter was unexpectedly
dropped owing to the sudden illness of the
aforesaid member of our house, and we knew
nothing at all of what had transpired until
your letter led us to obtain from him at his
bedside the statements above detailed.
An additional embarrassment to the unusually
prosperous course of our business was
occasioned by the marriage of a junior member
of the firm and his consequent absence for a
considerable time, which resulted in an
augmentation of the expenses of our establishment
and an unfortunate diminution of our
profits.
In view of the illness of the senior member
of our house and in view of the marriage of a
junior member and in view of the losses and
expenses consequent thereon, and in view of
the subsequent withdrawal of both from
active participation in the conduct of the
affairs of our firm, and in view also of a
disagreement which arose between both members
and the other members as to the financial
basis of a settlement on which the withdrawal
could take place, our affairs have of necessity
been thrown into court in litigation and are
still in litigation up to this date.
Regretting that you should have been
seemingly inconvenienced in the slightest
degree by the apparent neglect of a former
member of our firm, we desire to add that as
soon as matters can be taken out of court our
firm will be reorganised and that we shall
continue to give, as heretofore, the most
scrupulous attention to all orders received.
But we repeat that your letter is pretty
rough.
Very truly yours,
PHILLIPS & FAULDS.
BURNS & BRUCE TO BEVERLEY SANDS
Dunkirk, Tenn.,
May 20, 1911.
DEAR SIR:
Your letter to hand. Phillips & Faulds
gave us the order for the ferns. Owing to
extreme drought last Fall the ferns withered
earlier than usual and it was unsafe to ship
at that time; in the Winter the weather was
so severe that even in February we were
unable to make any digging, as the frost had
not disappeared. When at last we got the
ferns ready, we called on them for payment
and they wouldn't pay. Phillips & Faulds
are not good paying bills and we could not
put ourselves to expense filling their new
order for ferns, not wishing to take more
risk. old, old accounts against them unpaid,
and could not afford to ship more. proved
very unsatisfactory and had to drop them
entirely.
Are already out of pocket the cost of the
ferns, worthless to us when Phillips & Faulds
dodged and wouldn't pay, pretending we
owed them because they won't pay their bills.
If you do not wish to have any further
dealings with them you might write to Noah
Chamberlain at Seminole, North Carolina,
just over the state line, not far from here, an
authority on American ferns. We have
sometimes collected rare ferns for him to
ship to England and other European
countries. Vouch for him as an honest man.
Always paid his bills, old accounts against
Phillips & Faulds unpaid; dropped them
entirely.
Very truly yours,
BURNS & BRUCE.
BEVERLEY SANDS TO BEN DOOLITTLE
May 24.
DEAR BEN:
You requested me to send you for possible
future reference all incoming letters upon the
subject of the ferns. Here are two more that
have just fluttered down from the blue
heaven of the unexpected or been thrust up
from the lower regions through a crack in
the earth's surface.
Spare a few minutes to admire the rippling
eloquence of Messrs. Phillips & Faulds. When
the eloquence has ceased to ripple and settles
down to stay, their letter has the cold purity
of a whitewashed rotten Kentucky fence.
They and another firm of florists have a
law-suit as to which owes the other, and they
meantime compel me, an innocent bystander,
to deliver to them my pocketbook.
Will you please immediately bring suit
against Phillips & Faulds on behalf of my
valuable twenty-five dollars and invaluable
indignation? Bring suit against and bring
your boot against them if you can. My
ducats! Have my ducats out of them or
their peace by day and night.
The other letter seems of an unhewn
probity that wins my confidence. That is to
say, Burns & Bruce, whoever they are, assure
me that I ought to believe, and with all my
heart I do now believe, in the existence, just
over the Tennessee state line, of a florist of
good character and a business head. Thus I
now press on over the Tennessee state line
into North Carolina.
For the ferns must be sent to Mr. Blackthorne;
more than ever they must go to him
now. Not the entire British army drawn up
on the white cliffs of Dover could keep me
from landing them on the British Isle. Even
if I had to cross over to England, travel to
his home, put the ferns down before him or
throw them at his head and walk out of his
house without a word.
I told you I had a borrowed premonition
that there would be trouble ahead: now it is
not a premonition, it is my belief and terror.
I have grown to stand in dread of all florists,
and I approach this third one with my hat in
my hand (also with my other hand on my
pocketbook).
BEVERLEY.
BEVERLEY SANDS TO NOAH CHAMBERLAIN
Cathedral Heights, New York,
May 25, 1911.
DEAR SIR:
You have been recommended to me by
Messrs. Burns & Bruce, of Dunkirk,
Tennessee, as a nurseryman who can be relied
upon to keep his word and to carry out his
business obligations.
Accepting at its face value their high
testimonial as to your trustworthiness, I desire
to place with you the following order:
Messrs. Burns & Bruce, acting upon my
request, have forwarded to you a list of rare
Kentucky ferns. I desire you to collect these
ferns and to ship them to Mr. Edward Blackthorne,
Esq., King Alfred's Wood, Warwickshire,
England. As a guaranty of good faith
on my part, I enclose in payment my check
for twenty-five dollars. Will you have the
kindness to let me know at once whether you
will undertake this commission and give it
the strictest attention?
Very truly yours,
BEVERLEY SANDS.
NOAH CHAMBERLAIN TO BEVERLEY SANDS
Seminole, North Carolina,
May 29.
SIR:
I have received your letter with your check
in it.
You are the first person that ever offered
me money as a florist. I am not a florist, if
I must take time to inform you. I had
supposed it to be generally known throughout
the United States and in Europe that I am
professor of botany in this college, and have
been for the past fifteen years. If Burns &
Bruce really told you I am a florist—and I
doubt it—they must be greater ignoramuses
than I took them to be. I always knew that
they did not have much sense, but I thought
they had a little. It is true that they have
at different times gathered specimens of ferns
for me, and more than once have shipped
them to Europe. But I never imagined they
were fools enough to think this made me a
florist. My collection of ferns embraces dried
specimens for study in my classrooms and
specimens growing on the college grounds.
The ferns I have shipped to Europe have
been sent to friends and correspondents. The
President of the Royal Botanical Society of
Great Britain is an old friend of mine. I
have sent him some and I have also sent some
to friends in Norway and Sweden and to
other scientific students of botany.
It only shows that your next-door neighbour
may know nothing about you, especially
if you are a little over your neighbour's head.
My daughter, who is my secretary, will
return your check, but I thought I had better
write and tell you myself that I am not a
florist.
Yours truly,
NOAH CHAMBERLAIN, A.M., B.S., Litt.D.
CLARA LOUISE CHAMBERLAIN TO BEVERLEY SANDS
Seminole, North Carolina,
May 29.
SIR:
I can but express my intense indignation,
as Professor Chamberlain's only daughter,
that you should send a sum of money to my
distinguished father to hire his services as a
nurseryman. I had supposed that my father
was known to the entire intelligent American
public as an eminent scientist, to be ranked
with such men as Dana and Gray and
Alexander von Humboldt.
People of our means and social position in
the South do not peddle bulbs. We do not
reside at the entrance to a cemetery and earn
our bread by making funeral wreaths and
crosses.
You must be some kind of nonentity.
Your cheque is pinned to this letter.
CLARA LOUISE CHAMBERLAIN.
BEVERLEY SANDS TO NOAH CHAMBERLAIN
June 3.
DEAR SIR:
I am deeply mortified at having believed
Messrs. Burns & Bruce to be well-informed
and truthful Southern gentlemen. I find that
it is no longer safe for me to believe
anybody—not about nurserymen. I am not sure now
that I should believe you. You say you are a
famous botanist, but you may be merely a
famous liar, known as such to various learned
bodies in Europe. Proof to the contrary is
necessary, and you must admit that your
letter does not furnish me with that proof.
Still I am going to believe you and I renew
the assurance of my mortification that I have
innocently caused you the chagrin of
discovering that you are not so well known, at
least in this country, as you supposed. I
suffer from the same chagrin: many of us do;
it is the tie that binds: blest be the tie.
I shall be extremely obliged if you will
have the kindness to return to me the list of
ferns forwarded to you by Messrs. Burns &
Bruce, and for that purpose you will please
to find enclosed an envelope addressed and
stamped.
I acknowledge the return of my cheque,
which occasions me some surprise and not a
little pleasure.
Allow me once more to regret that through
my incurable habit of believing strangers,
believing everybody, I was misled into taking
the lower view of you as a florist instead of
the higher view as a botanist. But you must
admit that I was right in classification and
wrong only in elevation.
Very truly yours,
BEVERLEY SANDS, A.B. (merely).
NOAH CHAMBERLAIN TO BEVERLEY SANDS
June 8.
SIR:
I know nothing about any list of ferns.
Stop writing to me.
NOAH CHAMBERLAIN.
CLARA LOUISE CHAMBERLAIN TO BEVERLEY SANDS
June 8.
SIR:
It is excruciating the way you continue to
persecute my great father. What is wrong
with you? What started you to begin on us
in this way? We never heard of you. Would
you let my dear father alone?
He is a very deep student and it is intolerable
for me to see his priceless attention
drawn from his work at critical moments
when he might be on the point of making
profound discoveries. My father is a very
absent-minded man, as great scholars usually
are, and when he is interrupted he may even
forget what he has just been thinking about.
Your letter was a very serious shock to
him, and after reading it he could not even
drink his tea at supper or enjoy his cold ham.
Time and again he put his cup down and said
to me in a trembling voice: "Think of his
calling me a famous liar!" Then he got up
from the table without eating anything and
left the room. He turned at the door and
said to me, with a confused expression: "I
may, once in my life—but he didn't know
anything about that."
He shut his door and stayed in his library
all evening, thinking without nourishment.
What a viper you are to call my great father
a liar.
CLARA LOUISE CHAMBERLAIN.
BEVERLEY SANDS TO BEN DOOLITTLE
June 12.
DEAR BEN:
I knew I was in for it! I send another
installment of incredible letters from
unbelievable people.
In my wanderings over the earth after the
ferns I have innocently brought my foot
against an ant-hill of Chamberlains. I called
the head of the hill a florist and he is a botanist,
and the whole hill is frantic with fury.
As far as heard from, there are only two ants
in the hill, but the two make a lively many
in their letters. It's a Southern vendetta
and my end may draw nigh.
Now, too, the inevitable quarrel with Tilly
is at hand. She has been out of town for a
house-party somewhere and is to return
to-morrow. When Tilly came to New York a
few years ago she had not an acquaintance;
now I marvel at the world of people she knows.
It is the result of her never declining an
invitation. Once I derided her about this, and
with her almost terrifying honesty she avowed
the reason: that no one ever knew what an
acquaintanceship might lead to. This
principle, or lack of principle, has led her far.
And wherever she goes, she is welcomed afterwards.
It is her mystery, her charm. I often
ask myself what is her charm. At least her
charm, as all charm, is victory. You are
defeated by her, chained and dragged along.
Of course, I expect all this to be reversed
after Tilly marries me. Then I am to have
my turn—she is to be led around, dragged
helpless by my charm. Magnificent outlook!
To-morrow she is to return, and I shall
have to tell her that it is all over—our
wonderful summer in England. It is gone, the
whole vision drifts away like a gorgeous cloud,
carrying with it the bright raindrops of her
hopes.
I have never, by the way, mentioned to
Tilly this matter of the ferns. My first idea
was to surprise her: as some day we strolled
through the Blackthorne garden he would
point to the Kentucky specimens flourishing
there in honour of me. I have always observed
that any unexpected pleasure flushes
her face with a new light, with an effulgence
of fresh beauty, just as every disappointment
makes her suddenly look old and rather ugly.
This was the first reason. Now I do not
intend to tell her at all. Disappointment will
bring out her demand to know why she is
disappointed—naturally. But how am I to tell
on the threshold of marriage that it is all due
to a misunderstanding about a handful of
ferns! It would be ridiculous. She would
never believe me—naturally. She would
infer that I was keeping back the real reason,
as being too serious to be told.
Here, then, I am. But where am I?
BEVERLEY (complete and final
disappearance of the Magic Skin).
BEN DOOLITTLE TO BEVERLEY SANDS
June 13.
DEAR BEVERLEY:
You are perfectly right not to tell Tilly
about the ferns. Here I come in: there must
always be things that a man must refuse to
tell a woman. As soon as he tells her everything,
she puts her foot on his neck. I have
always refused even to tell Polly some things,
not that they might not be told, but that
Polly must not be told them; not for the
things' sake, but for Polly's good—and for a
man's peaceful control of his own life.
For whatever else a woman marries in a
man, one thing in him she must marry: a rock.
Times will come when she will storm and rage
around that rock; but the storms cannot last
forever, and when they are over, the rock will
be there. By degrees there will be less storm.
Polly's very loyalty to me inspires her to take
possession of my whole life; to enter into all
my affairs. I am to her a house, no closet of
which must remain locked. Thus there are
certain closets which she repeatedly tries to
open. I can tell by her very expression when
she is going to try once more. Were they
opened, she would not find much; but it is
much to be guarded that she shall not open
them.
The matter is too trivial to explain to Tilly
as fact and too important as principle.
Harbour no fear that Polly knows from me
anything about the ferns! When I am with
Polly, my thoughts are not on the grass of
the fields.
Let me hear at once how the trouble turns
out with Tilly.
I must not close without making a profound
obeisance to your new acquaintances—the
Chamberlains.
BEN.
TILLY SNOWDEN TO POLLY BOLES
June 15.
DEAR POLLY:
Something extremely disagreeable has come
up between Beverley and me. He tells me
we're not to go to England on our wedding
journey as anyone's guests: we travel as
ordinary American tourists unknown to all
England.
You can well understand what this means
to me: you have watched all along how I have
pinched on my small income to get ready for
this beautiful summer. There has been a
quarrel of some kind between Mr. Blackthorne
and Beverley. Beverley refuses to tell me
the nature of the quarrel. I insisted that it
was my right to know and he insisted that it
is a man's affair with another man and not
any woman's business. Think of a woman
marrying a man who lays it down as a law
that his affairs are none of her business!
I gave Beverley to understand that our
marriage was deferred for the summer. He
broke off the engagement.
I had not meant to tell you anything, since
I am coming to-night. I have merely wished
you to understand how truly anxious I am to
see you, even forgetting your last letter—no,
not forgetting it, but overlooking it. Remember
you then broke an appointment with me;
this time keep your appointment—being loyal!
The messenger will wait for your reply, stating
whether the way is clear for me to come.
TILLY.
POLLY BOLES TO TILLY SNOWDEN
June 15.
DEAR TILLY:
Dr. Mullen had an appointment with me
for to-night, but I have written to excuse
myself, and I shall be waiting most
impatiently. The coast will be clear and I hope
the night will be.
"The turnip," as you call it, will be empty;
"the horse-radish" and "the beets" will be
still the same; "the wilted sunflower" will
shed its usual ray on our heads. No breeze
will disturb us, for there will be no fresh air.
We shall have the long evening to ourselves,
and you can tell me just how it is that you
two, not heavy Tilly, not heavy Beverley,
sat on opposite sides of the room and
declared to each other:
"I will not."
"I will not."
Since I have broken an engagement for
you, be sure not to let any later temptation
elsewhere keep you away.
POLLY.
[Later in the day]
BEN DOOLITTLE TO POLLY BOLES
June 13.
DEAR POLLY:
Beverley and Tilly have had the long-expected
final flare-up. Yesterday he wrote,
asking me to come up as soon as I was through
with business. I spent last night with him.
We drew our chairs up to his opened window,
turned out the lights, got our cigars, and
with our feet on the window-sills and our
eyes on the stars across the sky talked the
long, quiet hours through.
He talked, not I. Little could I have said
to him about the woman who has played fast
and loose with him while using him for her
convenience. He made it known at the
outset that not a word was to be spoken against
her.
He just lay back in his big easy chair,
with his feet on his window-sill and his eyes
on the stars, and built up his defence of Tilly.
All night he worked to repair wreckage.
As the grey of morning crept over the city
his work was well done: Tilly was restored to
more than she had ever been. Silence fell
upon him as he sat there with his eyes on the
reddening east; and it may be that he saw
her—now about to leave him at last—as some
white, angelic shape growing fainter and
fainter as it vanished in the flush of a new
day.
You know what I think of this Tilly-angel.
If there were any wings anywhere around, it
was those of an aeroplane leaving its hangar
with an early start to bring down some other
victim: the angel-aeroplane out after more
prey. I think we both know who the prey
will be.
The solemn influence of the night has
rested on me. Were it possible, I should feel
even a higher respect for Beverley; there is
something in him that fills me with awe. He
suffers. He could mend Tilly but he cannot
mend himself: in a way she has wrecked him.
Their quarrel brings me with an aching
heart closer to you. I must come to-night.
The messenger will wait for a word that I
may. And a sudden strange chill of desolation
as to life's brittle ties frightens me into
sending you some roses.
Your lover through many close and constant years,
BENJAMIN DOOLITTLE.
[Still later in the day]
POLLY BOLES TO TILLY SNOWDEN
June 15.
DEAR, DEAR, DEAR TILLY:
An incredible thing has happened. Ben
has just written that he wishes to see me
to-night. Will you, after all, wait until
to-morrow evening? My dear, I have to ask this
of you because there is something very
particular that Ben desires to talk to me about.
To-morrow night, then, without fail, you
and I!
POLLY BOLES.
POLLY BOLES AND BENJAMIN DOOLITTLE TO
BEVERLEY SANDS
[Late at night of the same day]
June 15.
DEAR BEVERLEY:
We have talked the matter over and send
you our conjoined congratulations that your
engagement is broken off and your immediate
peril ended. But our immediate caution is
that the end of the betrothal will not
necessarily mean the end of entanglement: the
tempter will at once turn away from you in
pursuit of another man. She will begin to
weave her web about him. But if possible
she will still hold you to that web by a single
thread. Now, more than ever, you will need
to be on your guard, if such a thing is possible
to such a nature as yours.
Not until obliged will she ever let you go
completely. She hath a devil—perhaps the
most famous devil in all the world—the love
devil. And all devils, famous or not famous,
are poor quitters.
(Signed)
POLLY BOLES for Ben Doolittle.
BEN DOOLITTLE for Polly Boles.
(His handwriting; her ideas
and language.)
TILLY SNOWDEN TO DR. MARIGOLD
MY DEAR DR. MARIGOLD:
This is the third time within the past
several months that I have requested you to
let me have your bill for professional services.
I shall not suppose that you have relied upon
my willingness to remain under an obligation
of this kind; nor do I like to think I have
counted for so little among your many
patients that you have not cared whether I
paid you or not. If your motive has been
kindness, I must plainly tell you that I do
not desire such kindness; and if there has
been no motive at all, but simply indifference,
I must remind you that this indifference means
disrespect and that I resent it.
The things you have indirectly done for
me in other ways—the songs, the books and
magazines, the flowers—these I accept with
warm responsive hands and a lavish mind.
And with words not yet uttered, perhaps
never to be uttered.
Yours sincerely,
TILLY SNOWDEN.
June the Seventeenth.
TILLY SNOWDEN TO DR. MARIGOLD
MY DEAR DR. MARIGOLD:
I have your bill and I make the due
remittance with all due thanks.
Your note pleasantly reassures me how
greatly you are obliged that I could put you
in correspondence with some Kentucky cousins
about the purchase of a Kentucky saddle-horse.
It was a pleasure; in fact, a matter of
some pride to do this, and I am delighted that
they could furnish you a horse you approve.
While taking my customary walk in the
Park yesterday morning, I had a chance to
see you and your new mount making
acquaintance with one another. I can pay you no
higher compliment than to say that you ride
like a Kentuckian.
Unconsciously, I suppose, it has become a
habit of mine to choose the footways through
the Park which skirt the bridle path, drawn
to them by my childhood habit and girlish
love of riding. Even to see from day to day
what one once had but no longer has is to
keep alive hope that one may some day have
it again.
You should some time go to Kentucky and
ride there. My cousins will look to that.
Yours sincerely,
TILLY SNOWDEN.
June the Eighteenth.
TILLY SNOWDEN TO DR. MARIGOLD
MY DEAR DR. MARIGOLD:
I was passing this morning and witnessed
the accident, and I must express my
condolences for what might have been and
congratulations upon what was.
You certainly fell well—not unlike a
Kentuckian!
I feel sure that my cousins could not have
known the horse was tricky. Any horse is
tricky to the end of his days and the end of
his road. He may not show any tricks at
home, but becomes tricky in new places.
(Can this be the reason that he is called the
most human of beasts?)
You buying a Kentucky horse brings freshly
to my mind that of late you have expressed
growing interest in Kentucky. More than
once, also (since you have begun to visit me),
you have asked me to tell you about my life
there. Frankly, this is because I am something
of a mystery and you would like to
have the mystery cleared up. You wish to
find out, without letting me know you are
finding out, whether there is not something
wrong about me, some risk for you in visiting
me. That is because you have never known
anybody like me. I frighten you because I
am not afraid of people, not afraid of life.
You are used to people who are afraid,
especially to women who are afraid. You
yourself are horribly afraid of nearly
everything.
Suppose I do tell you a little about my life,
though it may not greatly explain why I am
without fear; still, the land and the people
might mean something; they ought to mean
much.
I was born of not very poor and immensely
respectable parents in a poor and not very
respectable county of Kentucky. The first
thing I remember about life, my first social
consciousness, was the discovery that I was
entangled in a series of sisters: there were six
of us. I was as nearly as possible at the
middle of the procession—with three older
and two younger, so that I was crowded both
by what was before and by what was behind.
I early learned to fight for the present—against
both the past and the future—learned
to seize what I could, lest it be seized either
by hands reaching backward or by hands
reaching forward. Literally, I opened my
eyes upon life's insatiate competition and I
began to practise at home the game of the
world.
Why my mother bore only daughters will
have to be referred to the new science which
takes as its field the forces and the mysteries
that are sovereign between the nuptials and
the cradle. But the reason, as openly laughed
about in the family when the family grew old
enough to laugh, as laughed about in the
neighbourhood, was this:
Even before marriage my father and my
mother had waged a violent discussion about
woman's suffrage. You may not know that
in Kentucky from the first the cause of female
suffrage has been upheld by a strong minority
of strong women, a true pioneer movement
toward the nation's future now near. It
seems that my father, who was a brilliant
lawyer, always browbeat my mother in
argument, overwhelmed her, crushed her.
Unconvinced, in resentful silence, she quietly
rocked on her side of the fireplace and looked
deep into the coals. But regularly when the
time came she replied to all his arguments by
presenting him with another suffragette!
Throughout her life she declined even to
bear him a son to continue the argument!
Her six daughters—she would gladly have had
twelve if she could—were her triumphant
squad for the armies of the great rebellion.
Does this help to explain me to you?
What next I relate about my early life is
something that you perhaps have never given
a thought to—children's pets and playthings:
it explains a great deal. Have you ever
thought of a vital difference between country
children and town children? Country children
more quickly throw away their dolls, if they
have them, and attach their sympathies to
living objects. A child's love of a doll is at
best a sham: a little master-drama of the
child's imagination trying to fill two roles—its
own and the role of something which cannot
respond. But a child's love of a living
creature, which it chooses as the object of its
love and play and protection, is stimulating,
healthful and kicking with reality: because
it is vitalised by reciprocity in the playmate,
now affectionate and now hostile, but always
representing something intensely alive—which
is the whole main thing.
We are just beginning to find out that the
dramas of childhood are the playgrounds of
life's battlefields. The ones prepare for the
others. A nature that will cling to a rag doll
without any return, will cling to a rag husband
without any return. A child's loyalty to an
automaton prepares a woman for endurance
of an automaton. Dolls have been the
undoing and the death of many wives.
A multitude of dolls would have been needed
to supply the six destructive little girls of my
mother's household. We soon broke our
china tea sets or, more gladly, smashed one
another's. For whatever reason, all lifeless
pets, all shams, were quickly swept out of the
house and the little scattering herd of us
turned our restless and insatiate natures loose
upon life itself. Sooner or later we petted
nearly everything on the farm. My father
was a director of the County Fair, and I
remember that one autumn, about fair-time, we
roped off a corner of the yard and held a prize
exhibition of our favourites that year. They
comprised a kitten, a duck, a pullet, a calf, a
lamb and a puppy.
Sooner or later our living playthings
outgrew us or died or were sold or made their
sacrificial way to the kitchen. Were we
disconsolate? Not a bit. Did we go down to
the branch and gather there under an old
weeping willow? Quite the contrary. Our
hearts thrived on death and destruction,
annihilation released us from old ties, change
gave us another chance, and we provided
substitutes and continued our devotion.
And I think this explains a good deal.
And these two experiences of my childhood,
taken together, explain me better than
anything else I know. Competition first taught
me to seize what I wanted before anyone else
could seize it. Natural changes next taught
me to be prepared at any moment to give
that up without vain regret and to seize
something else. Thus I seemed to learn
life's lesson as I learned to walk: that what
you love will not last long, and that long
love is possible only when you love often.
So many women know this; how few admit
it!
Sincerely yours,
TILLY SNOWDEN.
June the Nineteenth.
TILLY SNOWDEN TO DR. MARIGOLD
MY DEAR DR. MARIGOLD:
You sail to-morrow. And to-morrow I go
away for the summer: first to some friends,
then further away to other friends, then still
further away to other friends: a summer
pageant of brilliant changes.
There is no reason why I should write to
you. Your stateroom will be filled with
flowers; you will have letters and telegrams;
friends will wave to you from the pier. My
letter may be lost among the others, but at
least it will have been written, and writing it
is its pleasure to me.
I was to go to England this summer, was
to go as a bride. A few nights since I
decided not to go because I did not approve of
the bridegroom.
We marvel at life's coincidences: one
evening, not long ago, while speaking of your
expected summer in England, you mentioned
that you planned to make a pilgrimage to see
Edward Blackthorne. You were to join some
American friends over there and take them
with you. That is the coincidence: I was to
visit the Blackthornes this very summer, not
as a stranger pilgrim, but as an invited
guest—with the groom whom I have rejected.
It is like scattering words before the
obvious to say that I wish you a pleasant summer.
Not a forgetful one. To aid memory, as you,
some night on the passage across, lean far
over and look down at the phosphorescent
couch of the sea for its recumbent Venus of
the deep, remember that the Venus of modern
life is the American woman.
Am I to see you when autumn, if nothing
else, brings you home—see you not at all or
seldom or often?
At least this will remind you that I merely
say au revoir.
Adrift for the summer rather than be an
unwilling bride.
TILLY SNOWDEN.
June twenty-first.
TILLY SNOWDEN TO BEVERLEY SANDS
June 21.
DEAR BEVERLEY:
Since life separated us the other night I
have not heard from you. I have not
expected a letter, nor do you expect one from
me. But I am going away to-morrow for the
summer and my heart has a few words for
you which must be spoken.
It was not disappointment about the summer
in England, not even your refusal to
explain why you disappointed me, that held the
main reason of my drawing back. I am in the
mood to-night to tell you some things very
frankly:
Twice before I knew you, I was engaged to
be married and twice as the wedding drew
near I drew away from it. It is an old, old
feeling of mine, though I am so young, that
if married I should not long be happy. Of
course I should be happy for a while. But
afterwards! The interminable, intolerable
afterwards! The same person year in and
year out—I should be stifled. Each of the
men to whom I was engaged had given me
before marriage all that he had to give: the
rest I did not care for; after marriage with
either I foresaw only staleness, his limitations,
monotony.
Believe this, then: there are things in you
that I cling to, other things in you that do
not draw me at all. And I cling more to life
than to you, more than to any one person.
How can any one person ever be all to me, all
that I am meant for, and I will live!
Why should we women be forced to spend
our lives beside the first spring where one
happened to fill one's cup at life's dawn!
Why be doomed to die in old age at the same
spring! With all my soul I believe that the
world which has slowly thrown off so many
tyrannies is about to throw off other tyrannies.
It has been so harsh toward happiness,
so compassionate toward misery and wrong.
Yet happiness is life's finest victory: for ages
we have been trying to defeat our one best
victory—our natural happiness!
A brief cup of joy filled at life's morning—then
to go thirsty for the rest of the long,
hot, weary day! Why not goblet after goblet
at spring after spring—there are so many
springs! And thirst is so eager for them!
Come to see me in the autumn. For I will
not, cannot, give you up. And when you
come, do not seek to renew the engagement.
Let that go whither it has gone. But come
to see me.
For I love you.
TILLY.
TILLY SNOWDEN TO POLLY BOLES
June 21.
POLLY BOLES:
This is good-bye to you for the summer
and, better than that, it is good-bye to you
for life. Why not, in parting, face the truth
that we have long hated each other and have
used our acquaintanceship and our letters to
express our hatred? How could there ever
have been any friendship between you and me?
Let me tell you of the detestable little
signs that I have noticed in you for years.
Are you aware that all the time you have
occupied your apartment, you have never
changed the arrangement of your furniture?
As soon as your guests are gone, you push
every chair where it was before. For years
your one seat has been the same end of the
same frayed sofa. Many a time I have noted
your disquietude if any guest happened to
sit there and forced you to sit elsewhere.
For years you have worn the same breast-pin,
though you have several. The idea of your
being inconstant to a breast-pin! You pride
yourself in such externals of faithfulness.
You soul of perfidy!
I leave you undisturbed to innumerable
appointments with Ben, and with the same
particular something to talk about, falsest
woman I have ever known.
Have you confided to Ben Doolittle the
fact that you are secretly receiving almost
constant attentions from Dr. Mullen? Will
you tell him? Or shall I?
TILLY SNOWDEN.
POLLY BOLES TO BEN DOOLITTLE
June 23rd.
DEAR BEN:
I am worried.
I begin to feel doubtful as to what course
I should pursue with Dr. Claude Mullen.
Of late he has been coming too often. He
has been writing to me too often. He appears
to be losing control of himself. Things cannot
go on as they are and they must not get worse.
What I could not foresee is his determination
to hold me responsible for his being in love
with me! He insists that I encouraged him
and am now unfair—me unfair! Of course I
have never encouraged his visits; out of simple
goodness of heart I have tolerated them. Now
the reward of my kindness is that he holds me
responsible and guilty. He is trying, in other
words, to take advantage of my sympathy for
him. I do feel sorry for him!
I have not been cruel enough to dismiss
him. His last letter is enclosed: it will give
you some idea——!
Can you advise me what to do? I have
always relied upon your judgment in everything.
Faithfully yours,
POLLY.
BEN DOOLITTLE TO POLLY BOLES
[Penciled in Court Room]
June 24th.
DEAR POLLY:
Certainly I can advise you. My advice is:
tell him to take a cab and drive straight to
the nearest institution for the weak-minded,
engage a room, lock himself in and pray God
to give him some sense. Tell him to stay
secluded there until that prayer is answered.
The Almighty himself couldn't answer his
prayer until after his death, and by that time
he'd be out of the way anyhow and you
wouldn't mind.
I return his funeral oration unread, since I
did not wish to attract attention to myself
as moved to tears in open court.
BEN.
BEN DOOLITTLE TO POLLY BOLES
[Evening of the same day]
POLLY, DEAREST, MOST FAITHFUL OF WOMEN:
This is a night I have long waited for and
worked for.
You have understood why during these
years I have never asked you to set a day
for our marriage. It has been a long, hard
struggle, for me coming here poor, to make a
living and a practice and a name. You know
I have had as my goal not a living for one
but a living for two—and for more than
two—for our little ones. When I married you, I
meant to rescue you from the Franklin Flats,
all flats.
But with these two hands of mine I have
laid hold of the affairs of this world and
shaken them until they have heeded me and
my strength. I have won, I am independent,
I am my own man and my own master, and
I am ready to be your husband as through it
all I have been your lover.
Name the day when I can be both.
Yet the day must be distant: I am to leave
this firm and establish my own and I want
that done first. Some months must yet pass.
Any day of next Spring, then—so far away
but nearer than any other Spring during these
impatient years.
Polly, constant one, I am your constant
lover,
BEN DOOLITTLE.
Roses to you.
POLLY BOLES TO BEN DOOLITTLE
June 24.
Oh, BEN, BEN, BEN!
My heart answers you. It leaps forward
to the day. I have set the day in my heart
and sealed it on my lips. Come and break
that seal. To-night I shall tear two of the
rosebuds apart and mingle their petals on my
pillow.
POLLY.
BEN DOOLITTLE TO POLLY BOLES
June 26.
It occurs to me that our engagement might
furnish you the means of getting rid of your
prostrated nerve specialist. Write him to
come to see you: tell him you have some joyful
news that must be imparted at once. When
he arrives announce to him that you have
named the day of your marriage to me. To
me, tell him! Then let him take himself off.
You say he complains that all this is getting
on his nerves. Anything that could sit on
his nerves would be a mighty small animal.
BEN.
POLLY BOLES TO BEN DOOLITTLE
June 27.
Our engagement has only made him more
determined. He persists in visiting me. His
loyalty is touching. Suppose the next time
he comes I arrange for you to come. Your
meeting him here might have the desired
effect.
POLLY BOLES.
BEN DOOLITTLE TO POLLY BOLES
June 28.
It would certainly have the desired effect,
but perhaps not exactly the effect he desires.
Madam, would you wish to see the nerve
filaments of your fond specialist scattered
over your carpet as his life's deplorable
arcana? No, Polly, not that!
Make this suggestion to him: that in order
to give him a chance to be near you—but not
too near—you do offer him for the first year
after our marriage—only one year, mind you—you
do offer him, with my consent and at a
good salary, the position of our furnace-man,
since he so loves to warm himself with our
fires. It would enable him to keep up his
habit of getting down on his knees and puffing
for you.
BEN.
BEN DOOLITTLE TO POLLY BOLES
July 14.
DEAR POLLY:
It occurs to me just at the moment that
not for some days have I heard you speak of
your racked—or wrecked—nerve specialist.
Has he learned to control his microscopic
attachment? Has he found an antidote for
the bacillus of his anaemic love?
Polly, my woman, if he is still bothering
you, let me know at once. It has been my
joy hitherto to share your troubles; henceforth
it is my privilege to take them on two
uncrushable shoulders.
At the drop of your hat I'll even meet him
in your flat any night you say, and we'll all
compete for the consequences.
I. s. y. s. r. r. (You have long since learned
what that means.)
Your man,
BEN D.
POLLY BOLES TO BEN DOOLITTLE
July 15.
DEAREST BEN:
You need not give another thought to
Dr. Mullen. He does not annoy me any
more. He can drop finally out of our
correspondence.
Not an hour these days but my thoughts
hover about you. Never so vividly as now
does there rise before me the whole picture
of our past—of all these years together. And
I am ever thinking of the day to which we
both look forward as the one on which our
paths promise to blend and our lives are
pledged to meet.
Your devoted
POLLY.
BEVERLEY SANDS TO JUDD & JUDD
July 16.
DEAR SIRS:
Yesterday while walking along the street
I found my attention most favourably drawn
to the appearance of your business establishment:
to the tubs of plants at the entrance,
the vines and flowers in the windows, and
the classic Italian statuary properly
mildewed. Therefore I venture to write.
Do you know anything about ferns,
especially Kentucky ferns? Do you ever collect
them and ship them? I wish to place an order
for some Kentucky ferns to be sent to England.
I had a list of those I desired, but this
has been mislaid, and I should have to rely
upon the shipper to make, out of his knowledge,
a collection that would represent the
best of the Kentucky flora. Could you do
this?
One more question, and you will please
reply clearly and honestly. I notice that
your firm speak of themselves as landscape
architects. This leads me to inquire whether
you have ever had any connection with
Botany. You may not understand the question
and you are not required to understand
it: I simply request you to answer it.
Very truly yours,
BEVERLEY SANDS.
JUDD & JUDD TO BEVERLEY SANDS
July 17.
DEAR SIR:
Your esteemed favour to hand. We gather
and ship ferns and other plants, subject to
order, to any address, native or foreign, with
the least possible delay, and we shall be
pleased to execute any commission which
you may entrust to us.
With reference to your other inquiry, we
ask leave to state that we have never had
the slightest connection with any other
concern doing business in the city under the
firm-name of Botany. We do not even find them
in the telephone directory.
Awaiting your courteous order, we are
Very truly yours,
JUDD & JUDD.
Per Q.
BEVERLEY SANDS TO "JUDD & JUDD, PER Q."
July 18.
DEAR SIRS:
I am greatly pleased to hear that you have
no connection with any other house doing
business under the firm-name of Botany, and I
accordingly feel willing to risk giving you the
following order: That you will make a
collection of the most highly prized varieties
of Kentucky ferns and ship them, expenses
prepaid, to this address, namely: Mr. Edward
Blackthorne, King Alfred's Wood, Warwickshire,
England.
As a guaranty of good faith and as the
means to simplify matters without further
correspondence, I take pleasure in enclosing
my cheque for $25.
You will please advise me when the ferns
are ready to be shipped, as I wish to come
down and see to it myself that they actually
do get off.
Very truly yours,
BEVERLEY SANDS.
CLARA LOUISE CHAMBERLAIN TO BEVERLEY SANDS
Seminole, North Carolina,
July 18.
DEAR SIR:
I met with the melancholy misfortune a
few weeks ago of losing my great father.
Since his death I have been slowly going over
his papers. He left a large mass of them in
disorder, for his was too active a mind to
pause long enough to put things in order.
In a bundle of notes I have come across a
letter to him from Burns & Bruce with the
list of ferns in it that they sent him and that
had been misplaced. My dear father was a
very absent-minded scholar, as is natural.
He had penciled a query regarding one of the
ferns on the list, and I suppose, while looking
up the doubtful point, he had laid the list
down to pursue some other idea that suddenly
attracted him and then forgot what he had
been doing. My father worked over many
ideas and moved with perfect ease from one
to another, being equally at home with
everything great—a mental giant.
I send the list back to you that it may
remind you what a trouble and affliction you
have been. Do not acknowledge the receipt
of it, for I do not wish to hear from you.
CLARA LOUISE CHAMBERLAIN.
BEVERLEY SANDS TO JUDD & JUDD
July 21.
DEAR SIRS:
I wish to take up immediately my commission
placed a few days ago. I referred in
my first letter to a mislaid list of ferns. This
has just turned up and is herewith enclosed,
and I now wish you to make a collection of
the ferns called for on this list.
Please advise me at once whether you will
do this.
Very truly yours,
BEVERLEY SANDS.
JUDD & JUDD TO BEVERLEY SANDS
July 22.
DEAR SIR:
Your letter to hand, with the list of ferns
enclosed. We shall be pleased to cancel the
original order, part of which we advise you
had already been filled. It does not comprise
the plants called for on the list.
This will involve some slight additional
expense, and if agreeable, we shall be pleased
to have you enclose your cheque for the
slight extra amount as per enclosed bill.
Very truly yours,
JUDD & JUDD.
BEVERLEY SANDS TO JUDD & JUDD
July 23.
DEAR SIRS:
I have your letter and I take the greatest
possible pleasure in enclosing my cheque to
cover the additional expense, as you kindly
suggest.
Very truly yours,
BEVERLEY SANDS.
BEVERLEY SANDS TO BEN DOOLITTLE
October 30.
DEAR BEN:
They are gone! They're off! They have
weighed anchor! They have sailed; they have
departed!
I went down and watched the steamer out
of sight. Packed around me at the end of
the pier were people, waving hats and
handkerchiefs, some laughing, some with tears on
their cheeks, some with farewells quivering on
their dumb mouths. But everybody forgot
his joy or his trouble to look at me: I
out-waved, out-shouted them all. An old New
York Harbour gull, which is the last creature
in the world to be surprised at anything,
flew up and glanced at me with a jaded eye.
I have felt ever since as if the steamer's
anchor had been taken from around my neck.
I have become as human cork which no
storm, no leaden weight, could ever sink.
Come what will to me now from Nature's
unkinder powers! Let my next pair of shoes
be made of briers, my next waistcoat of rag
weed! Fasten every morning around my
neck a collar of the scaly-bark hickory! See
to it that my undershirts be made of the
honey-locust! For olives serve me green
persimmons; if I must be poulticed, swab
me in poultices of pawpaws! But for the rest
of my days may the Maker of the world in
His occasional benevolence save me from the
things on it that look frail and harmless like
ferns.
Come up to dinner! Come, all there is of
you! We'll open the friendly door of some
friendly place and I'll dine you on everything
commensurate with your simplicity. I'll open
a magnum or a magnissimum. I'll open a
new subway and roll down into it for joy.
They are gone to him, his emblems of
fidelity. I don't care what he does with them.
They will for the rest of his days admonish
him that in his letter to me he sinned against
the highest law of his own gloriously endowed
nature:
Le Génie Oblige
Accept this phrase, framed by me for your
pilgrim's script of wayside French sayings.
Accept it and translate it to mean that he
who has genius, no matter what the world
may do to him, no matter what ruin Nature
may work in him, that he who has genius,
is under obligation so long as he lives to do
nothing mean and to do nothing meanly.
BEVERLEY.
ANNE RAEBURN TO EDWARD BLACKTHORNE IN ITALY
King Alfred's Wood,
Warwickshire, England,
November 30.
MY DEAR MR. BLACKTHORNE:
I continue my chronicles of an English
country-place during the absence of its master,
with the hope that the reading of the chronicles
may cause him to hasten his return.
An amusing, perhaps a rather grave, matter
passed under my observation yesterday.
The afternoon was clear and mild and I had
taken my work out into the garden. From
where I sat I could see Hodge at work with
his spade some distance away. Quite
unconsciously, I suppose, I lifted my eyes at
intervals to look toward him, for by degrees I
became aware that Hodge at intervals was
looking toward me. I noticed that he was
red in the face, which is always a sign of his
anger; apparently he wavered as to whether
he should or should not do a debatable thing.
Finally lifting his spade high and bringing
it down with such force that he sent it deep
into the mould where it stood upright, he
started toward me.
You know how, as he approaches anyone,
he loosens his cap from his forehead and
scrapes the back of his neck with the back
of his thumb. As he stood before me he did
this now. Then he made the following
announcement in the voice of an aggrieved bully:
"The Scolopendium vulgare put up two new
shoots after he went away, mum. Bishop's
crooks he calls 'em, mum."
I replied that I was glad to hear the ferns
were thrifty. He, jerking his thumb toward
the fern bank, added still more resentfully:
"The Adiantum nigrum put up some, mum."
I replied that I should announce to you the
good news.
Plainly this was not what he had come to
tell me, for he stood embarrassed but not
budging, his eyes blazing with a kind of stupid
fury. At last he brought out his trouble.
It seems that one day last week a hamper
of ferns arrived for you from New York, with
only the names of the shippers, charges
prepaid. I was not at home, having that day
gone to the Vicar's with some marmalade;
so Hodge took it upon himself to receive the
hamper. By his confession he unwrapped
the package and discovering the contents to
be a collection of fern-roots, with the list of
the Latin names attached, he re-wrapped them
and re-shipped them to the forwarding
agents—charges to be collected in New York.
This is now Hodge's plight: he is uncertain
whether the plants were some you had ordered,
or were a gift to you from some friend, or
merely a gratuitous advertisement by an
American nurseryman. Whether yours or
another's, of much value to you or none, he
resolved that they should not enter the
garden. There was no place for them in the
garden without there being a place for their
Latin names in his head, and his head would
hold no more. At least his temper is the same
that has incited all English rebellion: human
nature need not stand for it!
The skies are wistful some days with blue
that is always brushed over by clouds:
England's same still blue beyond her changing
vapours. The evenings are cosy with lamps
and November fires and with new books that
no hand opens. A few late flowers still bloom,
loyal to youth in a world that asks of them
now only their old age. The birds sit silent
with ruffled feathers and look sturdy and
established on the bare shrubs: liberals in
spring, conservatives in autumn, wise in
season. The larger trees strip their summer
flippancies from them garment by garment
and stand in their noble nakedness, a challenge
to the cold.
The dogs began to wait for you the day
you left. They wait still, resolved at any cost
to show that they can be patient; that is,
well-bred. The one of them who has the higher
intelligence! The other evening I filled and
lighted your pipe and held it out to him as
I have often seen you do. He struck the
floor softly with the tip of his tail and smiled
with his eyes very tenderly at me, as saying:
"You want to see whether I remember that
he did that; of course I remember." Then,
with a sudden suspicion that he was possibly
being very stupid, with quick, gruff bark he
ran out of the room to make sure. Back he
came, his face in broad silent laughter at
himself and his eyes announcing to me—"Not yet."
Do not all these things touch you with
homesickness amid the desolation of the
Grand Canal—with the shallow Venetian
songs that patter upon the ear but do not
reach down into strong Northern English
hearts?
I have already written this morning to
Mrs. Blackthorne. As each of you hands my
letters to the other, these petty chronicles,
sent out divided here in England, become
united in a foreign land.
I am, dear Mr. Blackthorne,
Respectfully yours,
ANNE RAEBURN.
JUDD & JUDD TO BEVERLEY SANDS
December 27.
DEAR SIR:
We have to report that the ferns recently
shipped to a designated address in England
in accordance with your instructions have
been returned with charges for return shipment
to be collected at our office. We enclose
our bill for these charges and ask your
attention to it at your early convenience. The
ferns are ruined and worthless to us.
Very truly yours,
JUDD & JUDD.
BEVERLEY SANDS TO JUDD & JUDD
December 30.
DEAR SIRS:
I am very much obliged to you for your
letter and I take the greatest pleasure
imaginable in enclosing my cheque to cover the
charges of the return shipment.
Very truly yours,
BEVERLEY SANDS.
BEVERLEY SANDS TO BEN DOOLITTLE
December 28.
DEAR BEN:
The ferns have come back to me from England!
BEVERLEY.
BEN DOOLITTLE TO BEVERLEY SANDS
December 29.
DEAR BEVERLEY:
I am with you, brother, to the last root.
But don't send any more ferns to anybody—don't
try to, for God's sake! I'm with you!
J'y suis, J'y reste. (French forever! Boutez
en avant, mon French!)
By the way, our advice is that you drop
the suit against Phillips & Faulds. They are
engaged in a lawsuit and as we look over the
distant Louisville battlefield, we can see only
the wounded and the dying—and the poor.
Would you squeeze a druggist's sponge for
live tadpoles? Whatever you got, you
wouldn't get tadpoles, not live ones.
Our fee is $50; hadn't you better stop at
$50 and think yourself lucky? Monsieur a
bien tombé.
Any more fern letters? Don't forget them.
BEN DOOLITTLE.
BEVERLEY SANDS TO BEN DOOLITTLE
December 30.
DEAR BEN:
I take your advice, of course, about dropping
the suit against Phillips & Faulds, and
I take pleasure in enclosing you my cheque
for $50—damn them. That's $75—damn
them. And if anybody else anywhere around
hasn't received a cheque from me for nothing,
let him or her rise, and him or her will get one.
No more letters yet. But I feel a disturbance
in the marrow of my bones and doubtless
others are on the way, as one more spell
of bad weather—another storm for me.
BEVERLEY.
CLARA LOUISE CHAMBERLAIN TO BEVERLEY SANDS
Seminole, North Carolina,
December 25.
SIR:
This is Christmas Day, when every one is
thinking of peace and good will on earth.
It makes me think of you. I cannot forget
you, my feeling is too bitter for oblivion, for
it was you who were instrumental in bringing
about my father's death. One damp night
I heard him get up and then I heard him fall,
and rushing to him to see what was the
matter, I found that he had stumbled down the
three steps which led from his bedroom to his
library, and had rolled over on the floor, with
his candle burning on the carpet beside him.
I lifted him up and asked him what he was
doing out of bed and he said he had some kind
of recollection about a list of ferns; it worried
him and he could not sleep.
The fall was a great shock to his nervous
system and to mine, and a few days after that
he contracted pneumonia from the cold, being
already troubled with lumbago.
My father's life-work, which will never be
finished now, was to be called "Approximations
to Consciousness in Plants." He believed
that bushes knew a great deal of what
is going on around them, and that trees
sometimes have queer notions which cause them
to grow crooked, and that ferns are most
intelligent beings. It was while thus engaged,
in a weakened condition with this work on
"Consciousness in Plants," that he suddenly
lost consciousness himself and did not
afterwards regain it as an earthly creature.
I shall always remember you for having
been instrumental in his death. This is the
kind of Christmas Day you have presented
to me.
CLARA LOUISE CHAMBERLAIN.
CLARA LOUISE CHAMBERLAIN TO BEVERLEY SANDS
Seminole, North Carolina,
January 7.
DEAR SIR:
Necessity knows no law, and I have become
a sad victim of necessity, hence this
appeal to you.
My wonderful father left me in our proud
social position without means. I was thrown
by his death upon my own resources, and I
have none but my natural faculties and my
wonderful experience as his secretary.
With these I had to make my way to a
livelihood and deep as was the humiliation
of a proud, sensitive daughter of the South
and of such a father, I have been forced to
come down to a position I never expected to
occupy. I have accepted a menial engagement
in a small florist establishment of young
Mr. Andy Peters, of this place.
Mr. Andy Peters was one of my father's
students of Botany. He sometimes stayed
to supper, though, of course, my father did
not look upon him as our social equal, and
cautioned me against receiving his attentions,
not that I needed the caution, for I repeatedly
watched them sitting together and they were
most uncongenial. My father's acquaintance
with him made it easier for me to enter his
establishment. I am to be his secretary and
aid him with my knowledge of plants and
especially to bring the influence of my social
position to bear on his business.
Since you were the instrument of my father's
death, you should be willing to aid me in my
efforts to improve my condition in life. I
write to say that it would be as little as you
could do to place your future commissions
for ferns with Mr. Andy Peters. He has just
gone into the florist's business and these would
help him and be a recommendation to me for
bringing in custom. He might raise my
salary, which is so small that it is galling.
While father remained on earth and roved
the campus, he filled my life completely. I
have nothing to fill me now but orders for
Mr. Andy Peters.
Hoping for an early reply,
A proud daughter of the Southland,
CLARA LOUISE CHAMBERLAIN.
BEVERLEY SANDS TO BEN DOOLITTLE
January 10.
DEAR BEN:
The tumult in my bones was a well-advised
monitor. More fern letters were on the way:
I enclose them.
You will discover from the earlier of these
two documents that during a late unconscious
scrimmage in North Carolina I murdered an
aged botanist of international reputation.
At least one wish of my life is gratified: that
if I ever had to kill anybody, it would be some
one who was great. You will gather from
this letter that, all unaware of what I was
doing, I tripped him up, rolled him downstairs,
knocked his candle out of his hand and,
as he lay on his back all learned and amazed,
I attacked him with pneumonia, while
lumbago undid him from below.
You will likewise observe that his daughter
seems to be an American relative of Hamlet—she
has a "harp" in her head: she harps on
the father.
One thing I cannot get out of my head:
have you noticed anything wrong at the Club?
Two or three evenings, as we have gone in to
dinner, have you noticed anything wrong?
Those two charlatans put their heads
together last night: their two heads put together
do not make one complete head—that may
be the trouble; beware of less than one good
full-weight head. Something is wrong and I
believe they are the dark forces: have you
observed anything?
BEVERLEY.
BEN DOOLITTLE TO BEVERLEY SANDS
January 11.
DEAR BEVERLEY:
The letters are filed away with their
predecessors.
If I am any judge of human nature, you
will receive others from this daughter of the
South in the same strain.
If her great father (local meaning, old dad)
is really dead, he probably sawed his head off
against a tight clothes-line in the back-yard
some dark night, while on his way to their
gooseberry bushes to see if they had any
sense.
More likely he hurled himself headlong
into eternity to get rid of her—rolled down
the steps with sheer delight and reached for
pneumonia with a glad hand to escape his
own offspring and her endless society.
The most terrifying thing to me about this
new Clara is her Great Desert dryness; no
drop of humour ever bedewed her mind. I
believe those eminent gentlemen who call
themselves biologists have recently discovered
that the human system, if deprived of water,
will convert part of its dry food into water.
I wish these gentlemen would study the
contrariwise case of Clara: she would convert
a drink of water into a mouthful of sawdust.
Humour has long been codified by me as one
of nature's most solemn gifts. I divide all
witnesses into two classes: those who, while
giving testimony or being examined or
cross-examined, cause laughter in the courtroom at
others. The second class turn all laughter
against themselves. That is why the gift of
humour is so grave—it keeps us from making
ourselves ridiculous. A Frenchman (still my
French) has recently pointed out that the
reason we laugh is to drive things out of the
world, to jolly them out of existence and have
a good time as we do it. Therefore not to
be laughed at is to survive.
Beware of this new Clara! War breeds two
kinds of people: heroes and shams—the heroic
and the mock heroic. You and I know the
Civil War bred two kinds of burlesque
Southerner: the post-bellum Colonel and the
spurious proud daughter of the Southland.
Proud, sensitive Southern people do not go
around proclaiming that they are proud and
sensitive. And that word—Southland! Hang
the word and shoot the man who made it.
There are no proud daughters of the Westland
or of the Northland. Beware of this new
Clara! This breath of the Desert!
Yes, I have noticed something wrong in the
Club. I have hesitated about speaking to you
of it. I do not know what it means, but my
suspicions lie where yours lie—with those two
wallpaper doctors.
BEN.
RUFUS KENT TO BEVERLEY SANDS
The Great Dipper,
January 12.
MY DEAR MR. SANDS:
I have been President of this Club so long—they
have refused to have any other president
during my lifetime and call me its Nestor—that
whenever I am present my visits are
apt to consist of interruptions. To-night it
is raining and not many members are scattered
through the rooms. I shall be at leisure
to answer your very grave letter. (I see,
however, that I am going to be interrupted.) ...
My dear Mr. Sands, you are a comparatively
new member and much allowance must
be made for your lack of experience with the
traditions of this Club. You ask: "What is
this gossip about? Who started it; what did
he start it with?"
My dear Mr. Sands, there is no gossip in
this Club. It would not be tolerated. We
have here only the criticism of life. This
Club is The Great Dipper. The origin of the
name has now become obscure. It may first
have been adopted to mean that the members
would constitute a star-system—a human
constellation; it may be otherwise interpreted as
the wit of some one of the founders who
wished to declare in advance that the Club
would be a big, long-handled spoon; with
which any member could dip into the ocean
of human affairs and ladle out what he
required for an evening's conversation.
No gossip here, then. The criticism of life
only. What is said in the Club would
embrace many volumes. In fact I myself have
perhaps discoursed to the vast extent of whole
shelves full. Probably had the Club undertaken
to bind its conversation, the clubhouse
would not hold the books. But not a word
of gossip.
I now come to the subject of your letter,
and this is what I have ascertained:
During the past summer one of the members
of the Club (no name, of course, can be
called) was travelling in England. Three or
four American tourists joined him at one
place or another, and these, finding
themselves in one of those enchanted regions of
England to which nearly all tourists go and
which in our time is made more famous by
the novels of Edward Blackthorne—whom I
met in England and many of whose works
are read here in the Club by admirers of his
genius—this group of American tourists
naturally went to call on him at his home. They
were very hospitably received; there was a
great deal of praise of him and praise everywhere
in the world is hospitably received, so
I hear. It was a pleasant afternoon; the
American visitors had tea with Mr. and
Mrs. Blackthorne in their garden. Afterwards
Mr. Blackthorne took them for a stroll.
There had been some discussion, as it
seems, of English and of American fiction, of
the younger men coming on in the two literatures.
One of the visitors innocently inquired
of Mr. Blackthorne whether he knew
of your work. Instantly all noticed a change
in his manner: plainly the subject was
distasteful, and he put it away from him with
some vague rejoinder in a curt undertone.
At once some one of the visitors conceived
the idea of getting at the reason for
Mr. Blackthorne's unaccountable hostility. But
his evident resolve was not to be drawn out.
As they strolled through the garden, they
paused to admire his collection of ferns, and
he impulsively turned to the American who
had been questioning him and pointed to a
little spot.
"That," he said, "was once reserved for
some ferns which your young American
novelist promised to send me."
The whole company gathered curiously
about the spot and all naturally asked, "But
where are the ferns?"
Mr. Blackthorne without a word and with
an air of regret that even so little had escaped
him, led the party further away.
That is all. Perhaps that is what you hear
in the Club: the hum of the hive that a
member should have acted in some disagreeable,
unaccountable way toward a very great man
whose work so many of us revere. You have
merely run into the universal instinct of
human nature to think evil of human nature.
Emerson had about as good an opinion of it as
any man that ever lived, and he called it a
scoundrel. It is one of the greatest of mysteries
that we are born with a poor opinion of one
another and begin to show it as babies. If
you do not think that babies despise one
another, put a lot of them together for a few
hours and see how much good opinion is left.
I feel bound to say that your letter is most
unbridled. There cannot be many things
with which the people of Kentucky are more
familiar than the bridle, yet they always
impress outsiders as the most unbridled of
Americans. I will add, however, that
patrician blood, ancestral blood, is always
unbridled. Otherwise I might not now be styled
the Nestor of this Club. Only some kind of
youthful Hector in this world ever makes one
of its aged Nestors. I am interrupted
again....
I must conclude my letter rather abruptly.
My advice to you is not to pay the slightest
attention to all this miserable gossip in the
Club. I am too used to that sort of thing
here to notice it myself. And will you not
at an early date give me the pleasure of your
company at dinner?
Faithfully yours,
RUFUS KENT.