The same decoration as in the first act. The lamp is lit. The dim
light of a hanging lamp illuminates the passage.
HASSENREUTER is giving his three pupils, SPITTA, DR. KEGEL and
KAeFERSTEIN instruction in the art of acting. He himself is seated at
the table, uninterruptedly opening letters and beating time to the
rhythm of the verses with a paper cutter. In front of him stand,
facing each other, KEGEL and KAeFERSTEIN on one side, SPITTA on the
other, thus representing the two choruses in Schiller's "Bride of
Messina." The young men stand in the midst of a diagram drawn with
chalk on the floor and separated, like a chess-board, into sixty-four
rectangles. On the high stool in front of the office desk WALBURGA is
sitting. Waiting in the background stands the house steward QUAQUARO,
who might be the manager of a wandering circus and, in the capacity
of athlete, its main attraction. His speech is uttered in a guttural
tenor. He wears bedroom slippers. His breeches are held up by an
embroidered belt. An open shirt, fairly clean, a light jacket, a cap
now held in his hand, complete his attire.
DR. KEGEL AND KAeFERSTEIN
[Mouthing the verses sonorously and with exaggerated dignity.]
"Thee salute I with reverence,
Lordliest chamber,
Thee, my high rulers'
Princeliest cradle,
Column-supported, magnificent roof.
Deep in its scabbard …"
HASSENREUTER
[Cries in a rage.] Pause! Period! Period! Pause! Period! You're not
turning the crank of a hurdy-gurdy! The chorus in the "Bride of Messina"
is no hand-organ tune! "Thee salute I with reverence!" Start over again
from the beginning, gentleman! "Thee salute I with reverence, Lordliest
chamber!" Something like that, gentlemen! "Deep in its scabbard let the
sword rest." Period! "Magnificent roof." I meant to say: Period! But you
may go on if you want to.
DR. KEGEL AND KAeFERSTEIN
"Deep in its scabbard
Let the sword rest,
Fettered fast by your gateway
Moveless may lie Strife's snaky-locked monster.
For …"
HASSENREUTER
[As before.] Hold on! Don't you know the meaning of a full stop,
gentlemen? Haven't you any knowledge of the elements? "Snaky-haired
monster." Period! Imagine that a pile is driven there! You've got to
stop, to pause. There must be silence like the silence of the dead!
You've got to imagine yourself wiped out of existence for the moment,
Kaeferstein. And then—out with your best trumpeting chest-notes! Hold on!
Don't lisp, for God's sake. "For …" Go on now! Start!
DR. KEGEL AND KAeFERSTEIN
"For this hospitable house's
Inviolable threshold
Guardeth an oath, the Furies' child…."
HASSENREUTER
[Jumps up, runs about and roars.] Oath, oath, oath, oath!!! Don't you
know what an oath is, Kaeferstein? "Guardeth an oath!!—the Furies'
child." This oath is said to be the child of the Furies, Dr. Kegel!
You've got to use your voice! The audience, to the last usher, has got to
be one vast quivering gooseflesh when you say that! One shiver must run
through every bone in the house! Listen to me: "For this house's …
threshold Guardeth an oath!!! The Furies' child, The fearfullest of the
infernal deities!"—Go ahead! Don't repeat these verses. But you can stop
long enough to observe that an oath and a Munich beer radish are, after
all, two different things.
SPITTA
[Declaims.]
"Ireful my heart in my bosom burneth…."
HASSENREUTER
Hold on! [He runs up to SPITTA and pushes and nudges the latter's arms
and legs in order to produce the desired tragic pose.]—First of all,
you lack the requisite statuesqueness of posture, my dear Spitta. The
dignity of a tragic character is in nowise expressed in you. Then you did
not, as I expressly desired you to do, advance your right foot from the
field marked ID into that marked IIC! Finally, Mr. Quaquaro is waiting;
so let us interrupt ourselves for a moment. So; now I'm at your service,
Mr. Quaquaro. That is to say, I asked you to come up because, in making
my inventory, it became clear that several cases and boxes cannot be
found or, in other words, have been stolen. Now, before lodging
information with the authorities which, of course, I am determined to do,
I wanted first to get your advice. I wanted to do that all the more
because, in place of the lost cases, there was found, in a corner of the
attic, a very peculiar mess—a find that could appropriately be sent to
Dr. Virchow. First there was a blue feather-duster, truly prehistoric,
and an inexpressible vessel, the use of which, quite harmless in itself,
is equally inexpressible.
QUAQUARO
Well, sir, I can climb up there if you want me to.
HASSENREUTER
Suppose you do that. Up there you'll meet Mrs. John, whom the find in
question has disquieted even more than it has me. These three gentlemen,
who are my pupils, won't be persuaded that something very like a murder
didn't take place up there. But, if you please, let's not cause a
scandal!
KAeFERSTEIN
When something got lost in my mother's shop in Schneidemuehl, it was
always said that the rats had eaten it. And really, when you consider the
number of rats and mice in this house—I very nearly stepped on one on
the stairs a while ago—why shouldn't we suppose that the cases of
costumes were devoured in the same way. Silk is said to be sweet.
HASSENREUTER
Very excellent! Very good! You're relieved from the necessity of
indulging in any more notion-shopkeepers' fancies, my good Kaeferstein!
Ha, ha, ha! It only remains for you to dish up for us the story of the
cavalry man Sorgenfrei, who, according to your assertion, when this house
was still a cavalry barracks, hanged himself—spurred and armed—in my
loft. And then the last straw would be for you to direct our suspicions
toward him.
KAeFERSTEIN
You can still see the very nail he used.
QUAQUARO
There ain't a soul in the house what don't know the story of the soldier
Sorgenfrei who put an end to hisself with a rope somewhere under the
rooftree.
KAeFERSTEIN
The carpenter's wife downstairs and a seamstress in the second story have
repeatedly seen him by broad daylight nodding out of the attic window and
bowing down with military demeanour.
QUAQUARO
A corporal, they says, called the soldier Sorgenfrei a windbag an' gave
him a blow outa spite. An' the idjit took that to heart.
HASSENREUTER
Ha, ha, ha! Military brutalities and ghost stories! That mixture is
original, but hardly to our purpose. I assume that the theft, or whatever
it was, took place during those eleven or twelve days that I spent on
business in Alsace. So look the matter over and have the goodness, later,
to report to me.
HASSENREUTER turns to his pupils. QUAQUARO mounts the stairs to the
loft and disappears behind the trap-door.
HASSENREUTER
All right, my good Spitta: Fire away!
SPITTA recites simply according to the sense and without any tragic
bombast.
"Ireful my heart in my bosom burneth,
My hand is ready for sword or lance,
For unto me the Gorgon turneth
My foeman's hateful countenance.
Scarce I master the rage that assails me.
Shall I salute him with fair speech?
Better, perchance, my ire avails me?
Only the Fury me affrighteth,
Protectress of all within her reach,
And God's truce which all foes uniteth."
HASSENREUTER
[Who has sat down, supports his head on his hand and listens resignedly.
Not until SPITTA has ceased speaking for some moments does he look up, as
if coming to himself.] Are you quite through, Spitta? If so, I'm much
obliged!—You see, my dear fellow, I've really gotten into a deuce of a
situation as far as you are concerned: either I tell you impudently to
your face that I consider your method of elocution excellent—and in that
case I'd be guilty of a lie of the most contemptible kind: or else I tell
you that I consider it abominable and then we'd get into another beastly
row.
SPITTA
[Turning pale.] Yes, all this stilted, rhetorical stuff is quite
foreign to my nature. That's the very reason why I abandoned theology.
The preacher's tone is repulsive to me.
HASSENREUTER
And so you would like to reel off these tragic choruses as a clerk of
court mumbles a document or a waiter a bill of fare?
SPITTA
I don't care for the whole sonorous bombast of the "Bride of Messina."
HASSENREUTER
I wish you'd repeat that charming opinion.
SPITTA
There's nothing to be done about it, sir. Our conceptions of dramatic art
diverge utterly, in some respects.
HASSENREUTER
Man alive, at this particular moment your face is a veritable monogram of
megalomania and impudence! I beg your pardon, but you're my pupil now and
no longer the tutor of my children. Your views and mine! You ridiculous
tyro! You and Schiller! Friedrich Schiller! I've told you a hundred times
that your puerile little views of art are nothing but an innate striving
toward imbecility!
SPITTA
You would have to prove that to me, after all.
HASSENREUTER
You prove it yourself every time you open your mouth! You deny the whole
art of elocution, the value of the voice in acting! You want to
substitute for both the art of toneless squeaking! Further you deny the
importance of action in the drama and assert it to be a worthless
accident, a sop for the groundlings! You deny the validity of poetic
justice, of guilt and its necessary expiation. You call all that a vulgar
invention—an assertion by means of which the whole moral order of the
world is abrogated by the learned and crooked understanding of your
single magnificent self! Of the heights of humanity you know nothing! You
asserted the other day that, in certain circumstances, a barber or a
scrubwoman might as fittingly be the protagonist of a tragedy as Lady
Macbeth or King Lear!
SPITTA
[Still pale, polishing his spectacles.] Before art as before the law
all men are equal, sir.
HASSENREUTER
Aha? Is that so? Where did you pick up that banality?
SPITTA
[Without permitting himself to be disconcerted.] The truth of that
saying has become my second nature. In believing it I probably find
myself at variance with Schiller and Gustav Freytag, but not at all with
Lessing and Diderot. I have spent the past two semesters in the study of
these two great dramaturgic critics, and the whole stilted French
pseudo-classicism is, as far as I'm concerned, utterly destroyed—not
only in creative art itself but in such manifestations as the boundless
folly of the directions for acting which Goethe prescribed in his old
age. These are mere superannuated nonsense.
HASSENREUTER
You don't mean it?
SPITTA
And if the German stage is ever to recuperate it must go back to the
young Schiller, the young Goethe—the author of "Goetz"—and ever again to
Gotthold Ephraim Lessing! There you will find set down principles of
dramatic art which are adapted to the rich complexity of life in all its
fullness, and which are potent to cope with Nature itself!
HASSENREUTER
Walburga! I'm afraid Mr. Spitta is taking us for each other. Mr. Spitta,
you're about to give a lesson! Walburga, you and your teacher are free to
retire to the library.—If human arrogance and especially that of very
young people could be crystallised into one formation—humanity would be
buried under that rock like an ant under the granite masses of an
antediluvian mountain range!
SPITTA
But I wouldn't in any wise be refuted thereby.
HASSENREUTER
Man, I tell you that I've not only passed through two semesters of formal
study, but I have grown grey in the practice of the actor's art! And I
tell you that Goethe's catechism for actors is the alpha and the omega of
my artistic convictions! If you don't like that—get another teacher!
SPITTA
[Pursuing his argument calmly.] According to my opinion, Goethe with
his senile regulations for actors denied, in the pettiest way, himself
and his whole original nature. What is one to say of his ruling that
every actor, irrespective of the quality of the character represented by
him, must—these are his very words—show an ogre-like expression of
countenance in order that the spectator be at once reminded of the nature
of lofty tragedy. Actually, these are his very words!
KAeFERSTEIN and KEGEL make an effort to assume ogre-like
expressions.
HASSENREUTER
Get out your note-book, most excellent Spitta, and record your opinion,
please, that Manager Hassenreuter is an ass, that Schiller is an ass,
Goethe an ass, Aristotle, too, of course—[he begins suddenly to laugh
like mad]—and, ha, ha, ha! a certain Spitta a—night watchman!
SPITTA
I'm glad to see, sir, that, at least, you've recovered your good humour.
HASSENREUTER
The devil! I haven't recovered it at all! You're a symptom. So you
needn't think yourself very important.—You are a rat, so to speak. One
of those rats who are beginning, in the field of politics, to undermine
our glorious and recently united German Empire! They are trying to cheat
us of the reward of our labours! And in the garden of German art these
rats are gnawing at the roots of the tree of idealism. They are
determined to drag its crown into the mire!—Down, down, down into the
dust with you!
KAeFERSTEIN and KEGEL try to preserve their gravity but soon break
out into loud laughter, which HASSENREUTER is impelled to join.
WALBURGA looks on in wide-eyed astonishment. SPITTA remains serious.
MRS. JOHN is now seen descending the stairs of the loft. After a
little while QUAQUARO follows her.
HASSENREUTER
[Perceives MRS. JOHN and points her out to SPITTA with violent
gesticulations as if he had just made an important discovery.] There
comes your tragic Muse!
MRS. JOHN
[Approaches, abashed by the laughter of HASSENREUTER, KEGEL and
KAeFERSTEIN.] Why, what d'you see about me?
HASSENREUTER
Nothing but what is good and beautiful, Mrs. John! You may thank God that
your quiet, withdrawn and peaceful life unfits you for the part of a
tragic heroine.—But tell me, have you, by any chance, had an interview
with ghosts?
MRS. JOHN
[Unnaturally pale.] Why do you ax that?
HASSENREUTER
Perhaps you even saw the famous soldier Sorgenfrei who closed his career
above as a deserter into a better world?
MRS. JOHN
If it was a livin' soul, maybe you might be right. But I ain't scared o'
no dead ghosts.
HASSENREUTER
Well, Mr. Quaquaro, how did it look under the roof there?
QUAQUARO
[Who has brought down with him a Swedish riding-boot.] Well, I took a
pretty good look aroun' an' I came to the conclusion that, at least, some
shelterless ragamuffins has passed the night there; though how they got
in I ain't sayin'. An' then I found this here boot.—
[Out of the boot he draws an infant's bottle, topped by a rubber
nipple and half filled with milk.
MRS. JOHN
That's easily explained. I was up there settin' things to rights an' I
had little Adelbert along with me. But I don' know nothin' about the
rest.
HASSENREUTER
Nobody has undertaken to assert that you do, Mrs. John.
MRS. JOHN
When you considers how my little Adelbert came into the world … an'
when you considers how he died … nobody c'n come an' tell me nothin'
about bein' a reel mother … But I gotta leave now, sir … I can't be
comin' up here for two three days. Good-bye! I has to go to my
sister-in-law an' let Adelbert enjoy the country air a little.
[She trots off through the door to the outer hall.
HASSENREUTER
Can you make anything of her wild talk?
QUAQUARO
There's been a screw loose there ever since her first baby came, an' all
the more after it took an' died. Now since she's got the second one,
there's two screws what's wobbly. Howsoever, she c'n count—that's a
fac'. She's got a good bit o' money loaned out at interest on pawned
goods.
HASSENREUTER
Well, but what is the injured party—namely, myself—to do?
QUAQUARO
That depends on where the suspicion falls.
HASSENREUTER
In this house?—You'll admit yourself, Mr. Quaquaro …
QUAQUARO
That's true all right. But it won't be long before we'll have a little
cleanin' up aroun' here! The widow Knobbe with all her crowd is goin' to
be put out! An' then there's a gang in wing B, where there's some tough
customers by what Policeman Schierke tells me. Well, they're goin' to
come from headquarters pretty soon and blow up that crowd.
HASSENREUTER
There must be a glee club somewhere in the house. At least I hear
excellent male voices singing from time to time things like "Germany, our
highest glory," and "Who has built thee, noble wood," and "In a cool
galley turneth."
QUAQUARO
Them's the very fellers! That's right! An' they do sing fine! The sayin'
is that bad men has no songs, but I wouldn't advise no one to fool with
them! I wouldn't go into that company my own self without Prince.
That's my bull dog. You just go an' lay information against 'em an' you
won't be doin' no harm, sir.
[QUAQUARO exit.
HASSENREUTER
[Referring to QUAQUARO.] The gleam in his eye demands security. His
lips demand cash. His fist portends immediate warning. He's a lucky
creature who doesn't dream of him at the end of the month. And whoever
dreams of him roars for help. A horrible, greasy fellow. But without him
the people who rent this old shell would get no money and the
army-treasurer could strike the income of these rentals from his
books.—[The door bell rings.]—That Is Miss Alice Ruetterbusch, the
young soubrette with whom, unfortunately, I haven't been able to make a
hard and fast contract yet on account of the way the aldermen of
Strassburg shilly shally about their final decision. After my
appointment, which I will secure by God's help, her engagement will be my
first managerial act.—Walburga and Spitta, march up into the loft! Count
the contents of the six boxes marked "Journalists" in order that we may
complete our inventory at the proper time.—[To KAeFERSTEIN and DR.
KEGEL.] You may withdraw into the library in the meantime….
[He steps forward in order to open the door.
WALBURGA and SPITTA disappear swiftly and very willingly into the
loft; KAeFERSTEIN and KEGEL retire into the library.
HASSENREUTER
[In the background.] If you please, step right in, my dear lady! I
beg your pardon, sir! I was expecting a lady … I was expecting a
young lady … But, please, come in.
HASSENREUTER comes forward accompanied by PASTOR SPITTA. The latter
is sixty years old. A village parson, somewhat countrified. One might
equally well take him to be a surveyor or a landowner in a small way.
He is of vigorous appearance—short-necked, well-nourished, with a
squat, broad face like Luther's. He wears a slouch-hat, spectacles
and carries a cane and a coat of waterproof cloth over his arm. His
clumsy boots and the state of his other garments show that they have
long been accustomed to wind and weather.
PASTOR SPITTA
Do you know who I am, Mr. Hassenreuter?
HASSENREUTER
Not quite exactly, but I would hazard …
PASTOR SPITTA
You may, you may! You needn't hesitate to call me Pastor Spitta from
Schwoiz in Uckermark, whose son Erich—yes, that's it—has been employed
in your family as private tutor or something like that. Erich Spitta:
that's my son. And I'm obliged to say that with deep sorrow.
HASSENREUTER
First of all, I'm very glad, to have the privilege of your acquaintance.
I hasten at once to beg you, however, dear Pastor, not to be too much
worried, not to be too sorrowful concerning the little escapade in which
your son is indulging.
PASTOR SPITTA
Oh, but I am greatly troubled, I am deeply grieved. [Sitting down on a
chair he surveys the strange place in which he finds himself with
considerable interest.] It is hard to say; it is extremely difficult to
communicate to any one the real depth of anxiety. But forgive me a
question, sir: I was in the trophy-chamber.—[He touches one of the
armored dummies with his cane.] What kind of armor is this?
HASSENREUTER
These figures are to represent the cuirassiers in Schiller's
"Wallenstein."
PASTOR SPITTA
Ah, ah, my idea of Schiller was so very different! [Collecting
himself.] Oh, this city of Berlin! It confuses me utterly. You see a man
before you, sir, who is not only grieved, whom this Sodom of a city has
not only stirred to his very depths, but who is actually broken-hearted
by the deed of his son.
HASSENREUTER
A deed? What deed?
PASTOR SPITTA
Is there any need to ask? The son of an honest man desiring to become an
… an … an actor!
HASSENREUTER
[Drawing himself up. With the utmost dignity.] My dear sir, I do not
approve of your son's determination. But I am myself—honi soit qui mal
y pense—the son of an honest man and myself, I trust, a man of honour.
And I, whom you see before you, have been an actor, too. No longer than
six weeks ago I took part in the Luther celebration—for I am no less an
apostle of culture in the broadest sense—not only as manager but by
ascending the boards on which the world is shadowed forth as an actor!
From my point of view, therefore, your son's determination is scarcely
open to objection on the score of his social standing or his honourable
character. But it is a difficult calling and demands, above all, a high
degree of talent. I am also willing to admit that it is a calling not
without peculiar dangers to weak characters. And finally I have myself
proved the unspeakable hardships of my profession so thoroughly that I
would like to guard anyone else from entering it. That is the reason why
I box my daughters' ears if the slightest notion of going on the stage
seizes them, and why I would rather tie stones about their necks and
drown them where the sea is deepest than see them marry actors.
PASTOR SPITTA
I didn't mean to wound any one's feelings. I admit, too, that a simple
country parson like myself can't very well have much of a conception of
such things. But consider a father now—just such a poor country
parson—who has saved and hoarded his pennies in order that his son might
have a career at the university. Now consider, further, that this son is
just about to take his final examinations and that his father and his
mother—I have a sick wife at home—are looking forward with anxiety and
with longing, whichever you call it, toward the moment in which their son
will mount the pulpit and deliver the trial sermon before the
congregation of his choice. And then comes this letter. Why, the boy is
mad!
The emotion of the Pastor is not exactly consciously directed; it is
controlled. The trembling of the hand with which he searches for the
letter in his inner pocket and hands it to the manager is not quite
convincing.
HASSENREUTER
Young men search after various aims. We mustn't be too much taken by
surprise if, once in a while, a crisis of this kind is not to be avoided
in a young man's life.
PASTOR SPITTA
Well, this crisis was avoidable. It will not be difficult for you to
see from this letter who is responsible for this destructive change in
the soul of a young, an excellent, and hitherto thoroughly obedient
youth. I should never have sent him to Berlin. Yes, it is this so-called
scientific theology, this theology that flirts with all the pagan
philosophers, that would change the Lord our God into empty smoke and
sublimate our blessed Saviour into thin air—it is this that I hold
responsible for the grievous mistake of my child. And to this may be
added other temptations. I tell you, sir, I have seen things which it is
impossible for me to speak of! I have circulars in every pocket—"Ball of
the Elite! Smart waitresses!" and so on! I was quietly walking, at half
past twelve one night, through the arcade that connects Friedrich street
with the Linden, and a disgusting fellow sidles up to me, wretched,
undergrown, and asks me with a kind of greasy, shifty impudence: Doesn't
the gentleman want something real fetching? And these show windows in
which, right by the pictures of noble and exalted personages, naked
actresses, dancers, in short the most shocking nudities are displayed!
And finally this Corso—oh, this Corso! Where painted and bedizened vice
jostles respectable women from the sidewalk! It's simply the end of the
world!
HASSENREUTER
Ah, my dear Pastor, the world doesn't so easily come to an end—nor,
surely, will it do so on account of the nudities that offend or of the
vice which slinks through the streets at night. The world will probably
outlive me and the whole scurrilous interlude of humanity.
PASTOR SPITTA
What turns these young people aside from the right path is evil example
and easy opportunity.
HASSENREUTER
I beg your pardon, Pastor, but I have not observed in your son the
slightest inclination toward leading a frivolous life. He is simply
attracted to literature, and he isn't the first clergyman's son—remember
merely Lessing and Herder—who has taken the road of literary study and
creative art. Very likely be has manuscript plays in his desk even now.
To be sure, I am bound to admit that the opinions which your son defends
in the field of literature frighten even me at times!
PASTOR SPITTA
But that's horrible! That's frightful! That far exceeds my worst fears!
And so my eyes have been opened.—My dear sir, I have had eight children,
of whom Erich seemed our fairest hope and his next-oldest sister our
heaviest trial. And now, it seems, the same accursed city has demanded
them both as its victims. The girl developed prematurely, she was
beautiful … and … But I must mention another circumstance now, I
have, been in Berlin for three days and I haven't seen Erich yet. When I
tried to see him to-day, he was not at home in his rooms. I waited for a
while and naturally looked about me in my son's dwelling. And now: look
at this picture, sir!
[Replacing ERICH'S letter in his pocket he extracts therefrom a
small photograph and holds it immediately under HASSENREUTER'S eyes.
HASSENREUTER
[Takes the picture and holds it at varying distances from him. He is
disconcerted.] Why should I look at this?
PASTOR SPITTA
The silly little face is of no importance. But pray look at the
inscription.
HASSENREUTER
Where?
PASTOR SPITTA
[Reads.] "From Walburga to her only sweetheart."
HASSENREUTER
Permit me!—- What's the meaning of this?
PASTOR SPITTA
It simply means some seamstress if not, what is worse, some shady
waitress!
HASSENREUTER
H-m. [He slips the picture into his pocket.] I shall keep this
photograph.
PASTOR SPITTA
It is in such filth that my son wallows. And consider the situation in
which it puts me: with what feelings, with what front shall I
henceforward face my congregation from the pulpit …?
HASSENREUTER
Confound it, what business is that of mine? What have I to do with your
offspring, with your lost sons and daughters? [He pulls out the
photograph again.] And furthermore, as far as this excellent and
sound-hearted young lady is concerned, you're quite mistaken in your
ideas about waitresses and such like. I'll say nothing more. All other
matters will adjust themselves. Good-bye.
PASTOR SPITTA
I confess frankly, I don't understand you. Probably this tone is the
usual one in your circles, I will go and not annoy you any longer. But as
a father I have the right before God, to demand of you that henceforth
you refuse to my deluded son this so-called dramatic instruction. I hope
I shall not have to look for further ways and means of enforcing this
demand.
HASSENREUTER
I won't only do that, but I'll actually put him out of doors.
[He accompanies the PASTOR to the door, slams it behind him and
returns alone.
HASSENREUTER
[Waving his arms through the air.] All that one can say here is: Plain
parson! [He rushes halfway up the stairs to the loft.] Spitta!
Walburga! Come down here, will you?
WALBURGA and SPITTA come down.
HASSENREUTER
[To WALBURGA, who looks at him questioningly.] Go to your high stool
over there and sit down on the humorous part of your anatomy! Well, and
you, my dear Spitta, what do you want?
SPITTA
You called us both, sir.
HASSENREUTER
Exactly. Now look me in the eye!
SPITTA Certainly.
[He looks straight at HASSENREUTER.
HASSENREUTER
You two want to make an ass of me. But you won't succeed! Silence! Not a
word! I would have expected something very different from you! This is a
striking proof of ingratitude. Keep still! Furthermore, a gentleman was
here just now! That gentleman is afraid in Berlin! March! Follow him!
Take him down into the street and try to make it clear to him that I'm
neither your bootblack nor his.
[SPITTA shrugs his shoulders, takes his hat and goes.
HASSENREUTER
[Strides up to WALBURGA energetically and tweaks her ear.] And as for
you, my dear, you'll have your ears soundly boxed if ever again without
my permission you exchange two words with this rascal of a theologian
gone to smash!
WALBURGA
Ouch, papa, ouch!
HASSENREUTER
This fellow who is fond of making such an innocent face as if he couldn't
harm a fly and whom I was careless enough to admit to my house is,
unfortunately, a man behind whose mask the most shameless impudence lies
in wait. I and my house are in the service of true propriety. Do you want
to besmirch the escutcheon of oar honour as the sister of this fellow
seems to have done—a girl who disgraced, her parents by coming to an end
in the street and the gutter?
WALBURGA
I don't share your opinion about Erich, papa.
HASSENREUTER
What's that? Well, at least you know my opinion. Either you give him his
walking papers or else you can look out for yourself and find out what it
is to get along, away from your parental roof, in a way of life
regardless of honour, duty and decency! In that case you can go! I have
no use for daughters of that kind!
WALBURGA
[Pale and sombre.] You are always saying, papa, that you too had to
make your way independently and without your parents.
HASSENREUTER
You're not a man.
WALBURGA
Certainly not. But think, for instance, of Alice Ruetterbusch.
[Father and daughter look firmly into each other's eyes.
HASSENREUTER
Why should I? Have you a fever, eh? Or have you gone mad? [He drops the
whole discussion, noticeably put out of countenance, and taps at the
library door.] Where did we leave off? Begin at the proper place.
KEGEL and KAeFERSTEIN appear.
KEGEL and KAeFERSTEIN
[Declaim:]
"A wiser temper
Beseemeth age.
I, being reasonable,
Salute him first."
Led and directed by SPITTA appear PAULINE PIPERCARCKA in street
dress and MRS. KIELBACKE, who carries an infant on a pillow.
HASSENREUTER
What do you want here? What kind of women are you bringing here to annoy
me?
SPITTA
It isn't my fault, sir. The women insisted on coming to you.
MRS. KIELBACKE
No; all we wants is to see Mrs. John.
PAULINE
An' Mrs. John she's always up here with you!
HASSENREUTER
True. But I'm beginning to regret the fact, and I must insist, at all
events, that she hold her private receptions in her own rooms and not
here. Otherwise I'll soon equip the door here with patent locks and
mantraps.—What's the matter with you, my good Spitta? I suppose you'll
have to have the goodness to show these ladies the place they really want
to go to.
PAULINE
But Mrs. John ain't to be found in her rooms downstairs.
HASSENREUTER
Well, she's not to be found up here either.
MRS. KIELBACKE
The reason is because this here young lady has her little son boardin'
with Mrs. John.
HASSENREUTER
Glad to hear it! Please march now without further delay! Save me,
Kaeferstein!
MRS. KIELBACKE
An' now a gentleman's come from the city, from the office of the
government guardian office to see how the child is an' if it's well taken
care of an' in good condition. An' then he went into Mrs. John's room an'
we went with him. An' there was the child an' a note pinned to it what
said that Mrs. John was workin' for you up here.
HASSENREUTER
Where was the child boarding?
MRS. KIELBACKE
With Mrs. John.
HASSENREUTER
[Impatiently.] That's simply a piece of imbecility. You are quite
wrong.—Spitta, you would have been much better employed accompanying the
old gentleman after whom I sent you than aiding these ladies to come
here.
SPITTA
I looked for the gentleman you speak of but he was already gone.
HASSENREUTER
These ladies don't seem to believe me. Will you kindly inform them,
gentlemen, that Mrs. John has no child in board, and that they are quite
obviously mistaken in the name.
KAeFERSTEIN
I am asked to tell you that you are probably mistaken in the name.
PAULINE
[Vehemently and tearfully.] She has got my baby! She had my baby
boardin' with her. An' the gentleman came from the city an' he said that
the child wasn't in no good hands an' that it was neglected. She went an'
ruined my baby's health.
HASSENREUTER
There is no doubt but what you have mistaken the name of the woman of
whom you speak, Mrs. John has no child in board.
PAULINE
She had my baby in her claws, that's what! An' she let it starve an' get
sick! I gotta see her! I gotta tell her right out! She's gotta make my
little baby well again! I gotta go to court. The gentleman says as how I
gotta go to court an' give notice.
HASSENREUTER
I beg of you not to get excited. The fact is that you are mistaken! How
did you ever hit on the idea that Mrs. John has a child in board?
PAULINE
Because I gave it to her myself.
HASSENREUTER
But Mrs. John has her own child and it just occurs to me that she has
taken it along with her on a visit to her sister-in-law.
PAULINE
She ain't got no child. No, Mrs. John ain't got none! She cheats an' she
lies. She ain't got none. She took my little Alois an' she ruined him.
HASSENREUTER
By heaven, ladies, you are mistaken!
PAULINE
Nobody won't believe me that I had a baby. My intended he wrote me a
letter an' he says it ain't true an' that I'm a liar an' a low creature.
[She touches the pillow on which the infant is resting.] It's mine an'
I'll prove it in court! I c'n swear it by the holy Mother o' God.
HASSENREUTER
Do uncover the child. [It is done and HASSENREUTER observes the infant
attentively.]—H-m, the matter will not remain long in obscurity. In the
first place … I know Mrs. John. If she had had this child in board it
could never look as it does. And that is true quite simply because, where
it is a question of children, Mrs. John has her heart in the right place.
PAULINE
I want to see Mrs. John. That's all I says. I don't has to tell my
business to everybody in the world. I c'n tell everythin' in court, down
to the least thing—the day an' the hour an' jus' exackly the place where
it was born! People is goin' to open their eyes; you c'n believe me.
HASSENREUTER
What you assert, then, if I understand you rightly, is that Mrs. John has
no baby of her own at all, and that the one which passes as such is in
reality yours.
PAULINE
God strike me dead if that ain't the truth!
HASSENREUTER
And this is the child in question? I trust that God won't take you at
your word this time.—You must know that I, who stand before you, am
manager Hassenreuter and I have personally had in my own hands the child
of Mrs. John, my charwoman, on three or four occasions. I even weighed it
on the scales and found it to weigh over eight pounds. This poor little
creature doesn't weigh over four pounds. And on the basis of this fact I
can assure you that this child is not, at least, the child of Mrs. John.
You may be right in asserting that it is yours. I am in no position to
throw doubt on that. But I know Mrs. John's child and I am quite sure
that it is, in no wise, identical with this.
MRS. KIELBACKE
[Respectfully.] No, no; that's right enough. It ain't identical.
PAULINE
This baby here is identical enough all right, even if it's a bit underfed
an' weakly. This business with the child is all straight enough! I'll
take an oath that it's identical all right.
HASSENREUTER
I am simply speechless. [To his pupils.] Our lesson is ruled by an evil
star to-day, my dear boys. I don't know why, but the error which these
ladies are making engrosses me. [To the women.] You may have entered
the wrong door.
MRS. KIELBACKE
No, me an' the gentleman from the guardian's office an' the young lady
went an' fetched this here child outa the room what has the name plate o'
Mrs. John on it, an' took it out into the hall. Mrs. John wasn't there
an' her husband the mason is absent in Hamburg.
POLICEMAN SCHIERKE comes in, fat and good-natured.
HASSENREUTER
Ah, there's Mr. Schierke! What do you want here?
SCHIERKE
I understand, sir, that two women fled up here to you.
MRS. KIELBACKE
We ain't fled at all.
HASSENREUTER
They were inquiring for Mrs. John.
SCHIERKE
May I be permitted to ax somethin' too?
HASSENREUTER
If you please.
PAULINE
Jus' let him ax. We don't has to worry.
SCHIERKE
[To MRS. KIELBACKE.] What's your name?
MRS. KIELBACKE
I'm Mrs. Kielbacke.
SCHIERKE
You're connected with the society for raisin' children, eh? Where do you
live?
MRS. KIELBACKE
Linien street number nine.
SCHIERKE
Is that your child that you have there?
MRS. KIELBACKE
That's Miss Pipercarcka her child.
SCHIERKE
[To PAULINE.] An' your name?
PAULINE
Paula Pipercarcka from Skorzenin.
SCHIERKE
This woman asserts that the child is yours. Do you assert that too?
PAULINE
Sergeant, I has to ax for your protection because suspicions is cast on
me an' I'm innercent. The gentleman from the city did come to me. An' I
did get my child outa the room o' Mrs. John what I had it in board with
…
SCHIERKE
[With a searching look.] Yes? Maybe it was the door across the way
where the restaurant keeper's widow Knobbe lives. Nobody knows what
you're up to with that child nor who sent you an' bribed you. You ain't
got a good conscience! You took the child an' slipped up here with it
while its rightful mother, the widow Knobbe, what it's been stolen from,
is huntin' all over the stairs an' halls for it an' while a detective is
standin' acrost the way.
PAULINE
I don't care about no detective. I'm …
HASSENREUTER
You are refuted, my good girl. Can't you comprehend that? First you say
that Mrs. John has no child. Next you say—kindly attend to me—that you
had taken your child, which has been passing for Mrs. John's, out of the
latter's room. However; all of us here happen to know Mrs. John's child
and the one you have here is another. Is that clear to you? Hence your
assertion cannot, in any circumstances, be a correct one!—And now,
Schierke, you would do me a favour if you would conduct these ladies out
so that I can continue giving my lesson.
SCHIERKE
All right, but if I does that we'll get into that Knobbe crowd. Because
her child has been stolen.
PAULINE
It ain't me that done it; it's Mrs. John.
SCHIERKE
That's all right. [Continuing his account to HASSENREUTER.] And they
says that the child has blue blood in it on its father's side. So Mrs.
Knobbe thinks as how it's a plot of enemies 'cause they grudges her the
alimony in some quarters an' a gentleman's eddication for the kid.
[Someone is beating at the door with fists.] That's the Knobbe woman.
There she comes now!
HASSENREUTER
Mr. Schierke, you are responsible to me. If these people trespass on my
premises and I suffer any damages thereby, I'll complain to the chief of
police. I know Mr. Maddei very well. Don't be afraid, my dear boys. You
are my witnesses.
SCHIERKE
[At the door.] You stay out there! You don't get in here!
A small mob howls outside of the door.
PAULINE
They c'n holler all they wants to but they can't get my child.
HASSENREUTER
Perhaps this is the better way. You go into the library for the present.
[He escorts PAULINE, MRS. KIELBACKE and the child into the library.]
And now, Mr. Schierke, we might risk letting that fury enter in here.
SCHIERKE
[Opening the door slightly.] All right. But only Mrs. Knobbe! Come in
here a minute.
MRS. SIDONIE KNOBBE appears. She is tall and emaciated and dressed
in a badly worn but fashionable summer gown. Her face bears the
stigma, of a dissolute life but gives evidence of a not ungentle
origin. Her air is curiously like that of a gentlewoman. She talks
affectedly and her eyes show addiction to alcohol and morphine.
MRS. KNOBBE
[Sailing in.] There is no cause for any anxiety, Mr. Hassenreuter.
Those without are principally little boys and girls who have come with me
because I am fond of children. Pray pardon me if I intrude. One of the
children told me that two women had sneaked up here with my little boy. I
am looking for my little son, named Helfgott Gundofried, who has actually
disappeared from my dwelling. At the same time I do not wish to incommode
you.
SCHIERKE
An' you better not do that if I has any say about it.
MRS. KNOBBE
[Disregarding these words except by a proud toss of the head.] To my
great regret I caused a certain amount of disturbance in the yard. From
the yard as a place of vantage it is possible to command every window and
I made inquiries of the poor cigar maker in the second story and of the
consumptive little seamstress in the third as to whether my Selma and my
little son were with either of them. But nothing is farther from my
intention than to create a scandal. I want you to know—- for I am quite
conscious of being in the presence of a distinguished, indeed, of a
famous man—you are to know that where Helfgott Gundofried is concerned I
am obliged to be strictly on my guard! [With quivering voice and an
occasional application of her handkerchief to her eyes.] I am an
unfortunate woman who is pursued by fate, who has sunk low but who has
seen better days. I do not care to bore you with my troubles. But I am
being pursued and there are those who would rob me of my last hope.
SCHIERKE
Aw, hurry up an' say what you has to!
MRS. KNOBBE
[As before.] It is not enough that I was forced to lay aside my honest
name. Later I lived in Paris and then married a brutal person, a south
German inn-keeper, because I had the foolish thought that my affairs
might be bettered thereby. O these scoundrels of men!
SCHIERKE
This don't lead to nothin'! You cut it short, I tell you.
MRS. KNOBBE
But I am glad of the opportunity of standing, once more, face to face
with a man of culture and intellect. I could a tale unfold … Popularly
I am known here as "the countess" and God is my witness that in my
earlier youth I was not far removed from that estate! For a time I was an
actress, too. What did I say! I could unfold a tale from my life, from my
past, which would have the advantage of not being invented!
SCHIERKE
Maybe not. Nobody c'n tell.
MRS. KNOBBE
[With renewed emphasis.] My wretchedness is not invented, although it
may seem so when I relate how, one night, sunk in the deepest abysses of
my shame, I met on the street a cousin—the playmate of my youth—who is
now captain in the horse-guards. He lives in the world: I live in the
underworld ever since my father from pride of rank and race disowned me
because in my earliest youth I had made a mistake. Oh, you have no
conception of the dullness, the coarseness, the essential vulgarity that
obtains in those circles. I am a trodden worm, sir, and yet not for a
moment do I yearn to be there, in that glittering wretchedness….
SCHIERKE
Maybe you don't mind comin' to the point now!
HASSENREUTER
If you please, Mr. Schierke, all that interests me. So suppose you don't
interrupt the lady for a while. [To MRS. KNOBBE.] You were speaking of
your cousin. Didn't you say that he is a captain in the horse-guards?
MRS. KNOBBE
He was in plain clothes. He is, however, a captain in the horse-guards.
He recognised me at once and we dedicated some blessed though painful
hours to memories. Accompanying him there was—I will not call his
name—a very young lieutenant, a fair, sweet boy, delicate and brooding.
Mr. Hassenreuter, I have forgotten what shame is! Was I not even, the
other day, turned out of church? Why should a down-trodden, dishonoured,
deserted creature, more than once punished by the laws—why should such
an one hesitate to confess that he became the father of Helfgott
Gundofried?
HASSENREUTER
Of this baby that's been stolen from you?
MRS. KNOBBE
Yes, stolen! At least it is so asserted! It may be! But though my enemies
are mighty and have every means at their command, I am not yet wholly
convinced of it. And yet it may be a plot concocted by the parents of the
child's father whose name you would be astonished to hear, for they
represent one of the oldest and most illustrious families. Farewell!
Whatever you may hear of me, sir, do not think that my better feelings
have been wholly extinguished in the mire into which I am forced to cast
myself. I need this mire in which I am on terms of equality with the
dregs of mankind. Here, look! [She thrusts forward her naked arm.]
Forgetfulness! Insensibility! I achieve it by means of chloral, of opium.
Or I find it in the abysses of human life. And why not? To whom am I
responsible?—There was a time when my dear mama was scolded by my father
on my account! The maid had convulsions because of me! Mademoiselle and
an English governess tore each other's chignons from their heads
because each asserted that I loved her best—! Now …
SCHIERKE
Aw, I tell you to shut it now! We can't take up people's time an' lock
'em up. [He opens the library door.] Now tell us if this here is your
kid?
PAULINE, staring at MRS. KNOBBE with eyes full of hatred, comes out
first. MRS. KIELBACKE, carrying the child, comes next. SCHIERKE
removes the shawl, that has been thrown over the child.
PAULINE
What d'you want o' me? Why d'you come chasin' me? I ain' no gypsy! I don'
go in people's houses stealin' their children! Eh? You're crazy, I
wouldn't do no such thing. I ain't hardly got enough to eat for myself
an' my own child. D'you s'pose I'm goin' to steal strange children an'
feed 'em till they're grown when the one I got is trouble an' worry
enough!
MRS. KNOBBE stares about her inquiringly and as if seeking help.
Rapidly she draws a little flask from her pocket and pours its
contents upon a handkerchief. The latter she carries swiftly to her
mouth and nose, inhaling the fragrance of the perfume to keep her
from fainting.
HASSENREUTER
Well, why don't you speak, Mrs. Knobbe? This girl asserts that she is the
mother of the child—not you.
MRS. KNOBBE lifts her umbrella in order to strike out with it. She
is restrained by those present.
SCHIERKE
That won't do! You can't practice no discipline like that here! You c'n
do that when you're alone in your nursery downstairs.—The main thing is:
who does here kid belong to? An' so—now—Mrs. Knobbe, you just take care
an' think so's to tell nothin' but the truth here! Well! Is it yours or
is it her'n?
MRS. KNOBBE
[Bursts out] I swear by the holy Mother of God, by Jesus Christ,
Father, Son and Holy Ghost that I am the mother of this child.
PAULINE
An' I swears by the Holy Mother o' God …
HASSENREUTER
You'd better not if you want to save your soul! We may have a case here
in which the circumstances are complicated in the extreme! It is
possible, therefore, that you were about to swear in perfectly good
faith. But you will have to admit that, though each of you may well be
the mother of twins—two mothers for one child is unthinkable!
WALBURGA
[Who, like MRS. KNOBBE, has been staring steadily at the child.] Papa,
papa, do look at the child a moment first!
MRS. KIELBACKE
[Tearfully and horrified.] Yes, the poor little crittur's been a-dyin',
I believe, ever since I was in the other room there!
SCHIERKE
What?
HASSENREUTER
How? [Energetically he strides forward, and now regards the child
carefully too.] The child is dead. There's no question about that! It
seems that invisible to us, one has been in our midst who has delivered
judgment, truly according to the manner of Solomon, concerning the poor
little passive object of all this strife.
PAULINE
[Who has not understood.] What's the matter?
SCHIERKE
Keep still!—You come along with me.
MRS. KNOBBE seems to have lost the power of speech. She puts her
handkerchief into her mouth. A moaning sob is heard deep in her
chest. SCHIERKE, MRS. KIELBACKE with the dead child, followed by MRS.
KNOBBE and PAULINE PIPERCARCKA, leave the room. A dull murmur is
heard from the outer hall. HASSENREUTER returns to the foreground
after he has locked the door behind those who have left.
HASSENREUTER
Sic eunt fata hominum. Invent something like that, if you can, my good
Spitta.