Said Caeltia:
"When Brien O'Brien died people said
that it did not matter very much because
he would have died young in any case.
He would have been hanged, or his head
would have been split in two halves with a
hatchet, or he would have tumbled down
the cliff when he was drunk and been
smashed into jelly. Something like that
was due to him, and everybody likes to see
a man get what he deserves to get.
"But, as ethical writs cease to run when
a man is dead, the neighbours did not stay
away from his wake. They came, and they
said many mitigating things across the body
with the bandaged jaws and the sly grin,
and they reminded each other of this and
that queer thing which he had done, for
his memory was crusted over with stories
of wild, laughable things, and other things
which were wild but not laughable.
"Meanwhile he was dead, and one was at
liberty to be a trifle sorry for him. Further,
he belonged to the O'Brien nation—a stock
to whom reverence was due. A stock not
easily forgotten. The historic memory
could reconstruct forgotten glories of station
and battle, of terrible villainy and
terrible saintliness, the pitiful, valorous,
slow descent to the degradation which was
not yet wholly victorious. A great stock!
The O'Neills remembered it. The O'Tools
and the Mac Sweeneys had stories by the
hundred of love and hate. The Burkes and
the Geraldines and the new strangers had
memories also.
"His family was left in the poorest way,
but they were used to that, for he had kept
them as poor as he left them, or found them,
for that matter. They had shaken hands
with Charity so often that they no longer
disliked the sallow-faced lady, and so certain
small gifts made by the neighbours were
accepted, not very thankfully, but very
readily. These gifts were almost always in
kind. A few eggs. A bag of potatoes. A
handful of meal. A couple of twists of tea—such
like.
"One of the visitors, however, moved by
an extraordinary dejection, slipped a silver
threepenny-piece into the hand of Brien's
little daughter, Sheila, aged four years,
and later on she did not like to ask for it
back again.
"Little Sheila had been well trained by
her father. She knew exactly what should
be done with money, and so, when nobody
was looking, she tip-toed to the coffin and
slipped the threepenny-piece into Brien's
hand. That hand had never refused money
when it was alive, it did not reject it either
when it was dead.
"They buried him the next day.
"He was called up for judgment the day
after, and made his appearance with a miscellaneous
crowd of wretches, and there he
again received what was due to him. He
was removed, protesting and struggling, to
the place decreed:
"'Down,' said Rhadamanthus, pointing
with his great hand, and down he went.
"In the struggle he dropped the threepenny-piece,
but he was so bustled and
heated that he did not observe his loss. He
went down, far down, out of sight, out of
remembrance, to a howling black gulf with
others of his unseen kind.
"A young seraph, named Cuchulain,
chancing to pass that way shortly afterwards,
saw the threepenny-piece peeping
brightly from the rocks, and he picked it
up.
"He looked at it in astonishment. He
turned it over and over, this way and that
way. Examined it at the stretch of his arm,
and peered minutely at it from two inches
distance.
"'I have never in my life seen anything
so beautifully wrought,' said he, and, having
stowed it in his pouch along with some
other trinkets, he strolled homewards again
through the massy gates.
"It was not long until Brien discovered
his loss, and suddenly, through the black
region, his voice went mounting and brawling.
"'I have been robbed,' he yelled. 'I
have been robbed in heaven!'
"Having begun to yell he did not
stop. Sometimes he was simply angry and
made a noise. Sometimes he became sarcastic
and would send his query swirling
upwards.
"'Who stole the threepenny-bit?' he
roared. He addressed the surrounding
black space:
"'Who stole the last threepenny-bit of a
poor man?'
"Again and again his voice pealed upwards.
The pains of his habitation lost all
their sting for him. His mind had nourishment,
and the heat within him vanquished
the fumes without. He had a grievance,
a righteous cause, he was buoyed and
strengthened, nothing could silence him.
They tried ingenious devices, all kinds of
complicated things, but he paid no heed,
and the tormentors were in despair.
"'I hate these sinners from the kingdom
of Kerry,' said the Chief Tormentor, and he
sat moodily down on his own circular saw;
and that worried him also, for he was clad
only in a loin-cloth.
"'I hate the entire Clann of the Gael,'
said he; 'why cannot they send them somewhere
else?' and then he started practising
again on Brien.
"It was no use. Brien's query still blared
upwards like the sound of the great trump
itself. It wakened and rung the rocky
caverns, screamed through fissure and funnel,
and was battered and slung from pinnacle
to crag and up again. Worse! his
companions in doom became interested and
took up the cry, until at last the uproar
became so appalling that the Master himself
could not stand it.
"'I have not had a wink of sleep for three
nights,' said that harassed one, and he sent
a special embassy to the powers.
"Rhadamanthus was astonished when they
arrived. His elbow was leaning on his vast
knee, and his heavy head rested on a hand
that was acres long, acres wide.
"'What is all this about?' said he.
"'The Master cannot go to sleep,' said
the spokesman of the embassy, and he
grinned as he said it, for it sounded queer
even to himself.
"'It is not necessary that he should sleep,'
said Rhadamanthus. 'I have never slept
since time began, and I will never sleep until
time is over. But the complaint is curious.
What has troubled your master?'
"'Hell is turned upside down and inside
out,' said the fiend. 'The tormentors are
weeping like little children. The principalities
are squatting on their hunkers
doing nothing. The orders are running
here and there fighting each other. The
styles are leaning against walls shrugging
their shoulders, and the damned are shouting
and laughing and have become callous
to torment.'
"'It is not my business,' said the judge.
"'The sinners demand justice,' said the
spokesman.
"'They've got it,' said Rhadamanthus,
'let them stew in it.'
"'They refuse to stew,' replied the spokesman,
wringing his hands.
"Rhadamanthus sat up.
"'It is an axiom in law,' said he, 'that
however complicated an event may be, there
can never be more than one person at the
extreme bottom of it. Who is the person?'
"'It is one Brien of the O'Brien nation,
late of the kingdom of Kerry. A bad one!
He got the maximum punishment a week
ago.'
"For the first time in his life Rhadamanthus
was disturbed. He scratched his head,
and it was the first time he had ever done
that either.
"'You say he got the maximum,' said
Rhadamanthus, 'then it's a fix! I have
damned him for ever, and better or worse
than that cannot be done. It is none of my
business,' said he angrily, and he had the
deputation removed by force.
"But that did not ease the trouble. The
contagion spread until ten million billions of
voices were chanting in unison, and uncountable
multitudes were listening between
their pangs.
"'Who stole the threepenny-bit? Who
stole the threepenny-bit?'
"That was still their cry. Heaven rang
with it as well as hell. Space was filled with
that rhythmic tumult. Chaos and empty
Nox had a new discord added to their
elemental throes. Another memorial was
drafted below, showing that unless the
missing coin was restored to its owner hell
would have to close its doors. There was a
veiled menace in the memorial also, for
Clause 6 hinted that if hell was allowed to
go by the board heaven might find itself
in some jeopardy thereafter.
"The document was despatched and considered.
In consequence a proclamation
was sent through all the wards of Paradise,
calling on whatever person, archangel,
seraph, cherub, or acolyte, had found a
threepenny-piece since mid-day of the tenth
August then instant, that the same person,
archangel, seraph, cherub, or acolyte, should
deliver the said threepenny-piece to Rhadamanthus
at his Court, and should receive in
return a free pardon and a receipt.
"The coin was not delivered.
"The young seraph, Cuchulain, walked
about like a person who was strange to
himself. He was not tormented: he was
angry. He frowned, he cogitated and fumed.
He drew one golden curl through his fingers
until it was lank and drooping; save the end
only, that was still a ripple of gold. He put
the end in his mouth and strode moodily
chewing it. And every day his feet turned
in the same direction—down the long entrance
boulevard, through the mighty gates,
along the strip of carved slabs, to that piled
wilderness where Rhadamanthus sat monumentally.
"Here delicately he went, sometimes with
a hand outstretched to help his foothold,
standing for a space to think ere he jumped
to a farther rock, balancing himself for a
moment ere he leaped again. So he would
come to stand and stare gloomily upon the
judge.
"He would salute gravely, as was meet,
and say, 'God bless the work'; but
Rhadamanthus never replied, save by a
nod, for he was very busy.
"Yet the judge did observe him, and
would sometimes heave ponderous lids to
where he stood, and so, for a few seconds,
they regarded each other in an interval of
that unceasing business.
"Sometimes for a minute or two the
young seraph Cuchulain would look from
the judge to the judged as they crouched
back or strained forward, the good and the
bad all in the same tremble of fear, all unknowing
which way their doom might lead.
They did not look at each other. They
looked at the judge high on his ebon throne,
and they could not look away from him.
There were those who knew, guessed clearly
their doom; abashed and flaccid they sat,
quaking. There were some who were
uncertain—rabbit-eyed these, not less
quaking than the others, biting at their
knuckles as they peeped upwards. There
were those hopeful, yet searching fearfully
backwards in the wilderness of memory,
chasing and weighing their sins; and these
last, even when their bliss was sealed and
their steps set on an easy path, went faltering,
not daring to look around again, their
ears strained to catch a—'Halt, miscreant!
this other is your way!'
"So, day by day, he went to stand near
the judge; and one day Rhadamanthus,
looking on him more intently, lifted his
great hand and pointed:
"'Go you among those to be judged,'
said he.
"For Rhadamanthus knew. It was his
business to look deep into the heart and the
mind, to fish for secrets in the pools of being,
"And the young seraph Cuchulain, still
rolling his golden curl between his lips, went
obediently forward and set down his nodding
plumes between two who whimpered
and stared and quaked.
"When his turn came, Rhadamanthus
eyed him intently for a long time:
"'Well!' said Rhadamanthus.
"The young seraph Cuchulain blew the
curl of gold from his lips:
"'Findings are keepings,' said he loudly,
and he closed his mouth and stared very
impertinently at the judge.
"'It is to be given up,' said the judge.
"'Let them come and take it from me,'
said the seraph Cuchulain. And suddenly
(for these things are at the will of spirits)
around his head the lightnings span, and his
hands were on the necks of thunders.
"For the second time in his life Rhadamanthus
was disturbed, again he scratched
his head:
"'It's a fix,' said he moodily. But in a
moment he called to those whose duty it was:
"'Take him to this side,' he roared.
"And they advanced. But the seraph
Cuchulain swung to meet them, and his
golden hair blazed and shrieked; and the
thunders rolled at his feet, and about him a
bright network that hissed and stung—and
those who advanced turned haltingly backwards
and ran screaming.
"'It's a fix,' said Rhadamanthus; and for
a little time he stared menacingly at the
seraph Cuchulain.
"But only for a little time. Suddenly he
put his hands on the rests of his throne and
heaved upwards his terrific bulk. Never
before had Rhadamanthus stood from his
ordained chair. He strode mightily forward
and in an instant had quelled that rebel.
The thunders and lightnings were but moonbeams
and dew on that stony carcass. He
seized the seraph Cuchulain, lifted him to his
breast as one lifts a sparrow, and tramped
back with him:
"'Fetch me that other,' said he sternly,
and he sat down.
"Those whose duty it was sped swiftly
downwards to find Brien of the O'Brien
nation; and while they were gone, all in
vain the seraph Cuchulain crushed flamy
barbs against that bosom of doom. Now,
indeed, his golden locks were drooping and
his plumes were broken and tossed; but his
fierce eye still glared courageously against
the nipple of Rhadamanthus.
"Soon they brought Brien. He was a
sight of woe—howling, naked as a tree
in winter, black as a tarred wall, carved
and gashed, tattered in all but his throat,
wherewith, until one's ears rebelled, he
bawled his one demand.
"But the sudden light struck him to a
wondering silence, and the sight of the judge
holding the seraph Cuchulain like a limp
flower to his breast held him gaping.
"'Bring him here,' said Rhadamanthus.
"And they brought him to the steps of
the throne.
"'You have lost a medal!' said Rhadamanthus.
'This one has it.'
"Brien looked straitly at the seraph
Cuchulain.
"Rhadamanthus stood again, whirled his
arm in an enormous arc, jerked, and let go,
and the seraph Cuchulain went swirling
through space like a slung stone.
"'Go after him, Kerryman' said Rhadamanthus,
stooping; and he seized Brien by
the leg, whirled him wide and out and far;
dizzy, dizzy as a swooping comet, and down,
and down, and down.
"Rhadamanthus seated himself. He motioned
with his hand.
"'Next,' said he coldly.
"Down went the seraph Cuchulain, swirling
in wide tumbles, scarcely visible for
quickness. Sometimes, with outstretched
hands, he was a cross that dropped plumb.
Anon, head urgently downwards, he dived
steeply. Again, like a living hoop, head
and heels together, he spun giddily. Blind,
deaf, dumb, breathless, mindless; and
behind him Brien of the O'Brien nation
came pelting and whizzing.
"What of that journey? Who could give
it words? Of the suns that appeared and
disappeared like winkling eyes. Comets
that shone for an instant, went black and
vanished. Moons that came, and stood,
and were gone. And around all, including
all, boundless space, boundless silence;
the black unmoving void—the deep, unending
quietude, through which they fell
with Saturn and Orion, and mildly-smiling
Venus, and the fair, stark-naked moon, and
the decent earth wreathed in pearl and blue.
From afar she appeared, the quiet one, all
lonely in the void. As sudden as a fair
face in a crowded street. Beautiful as the
sound of falling waters. Beautiful as the
sound of music in a silence. Like a white
sail on a windy sea. Like a green tree in a
solitary place. Chaste and wonderful she
appeared. Flying afar. Flying aloft like a
joyous bird when the morning breaks on the
darkness and he shrills sweet tidings. She
soared and sang. Gently she sang to timid
pipes and flutes of tender straw and murmuring,
distant strings. A song that grew
and swelled, gathering to a multitudinous,
deep-thundered harmony, until the overburdened
ear failed before the appalling
uproar of her ecstasy, and denounced her.
No longer a star! No longer a bird! A
plumed and horned fury! Gigantic, gigantic,
leaping and shrieking tempestuously,
spouting whirlwinds of lightning, tearing
gluttonously along her path, avid, rampant,
howling with rage and terror she leaped,
dreadfully she leaped and flew....
"Enough! They hit the earth—they were
not smashed, there was that virtue in them.
They hit the ground just outside the village
of Donnybrook where the back road runs to
the hills; and scarcely had they bumped
twice when Brien of the O'Brien nation
had the seraph Cuchulain by the throat.
"'My threepenny-bit,' he roared, with
one fist up.
"But the seraph Cuchulain only laughed:
"'That!' said he. 'Look at me, man.
Your little medal dropped far beyond the
rings of Saturn.'
"And Brien stood back looking at him—He
was as naked as Brien was. He was as
naked as a stone, or an eel, or a pot, or a
new-born babe. He was very naked.
"So Brien of the O'Brien nation strode
across the path and sat down by the side of
a hedge:
"'The first man that passes this way,'
said he, 'will give me his clothes, or I'll
strangle him.'
"The seraph Cuchulain walked over to
him:
"'I will take the clothes of the second
man that passes,' said he, and he sat down."