TO THE SOCIETIES OF SAINT NICHOLAS IN THE NEW NETHERLANDS, COMMONLY CALLED NEW-YORK. — THE AUTHOR'S ADVERTISEMENT,
MOST DEAR AND WORTHY ASSOCIATES,
In obedience to the command of the good saint
who is equally an object of affectionate reverence
to us all, as well as in due deference to the feelings
of brotherhood which attach us irrevocably to those
who honour his name, his virtues, and his country,
I dedicate this work to you all without discrimination
or exception. As descendants, in whole or
in part, from that illustrious people who, after conquering
nature by their industry and perseverance,
achieved liberty by their determined valour, and
learning and science by their intellectual vigour,
I rejoice to see you instituting bonds of union, for
the purpose of preserving the remembrance of such
an honourable lineage, and the ties of a common
origin. While we recollect with honest pride the
industry, the integrity, the enterprise, the love of
liberty, and the heroism of old “_faderland_,” let us
not forget that the truest way to honour worthy ancestors
is to emulate their example.
That you may long live to cherish the memory
of so excellent a saint, and such venerable forefathers
is the earnest wish of
Your associate and friend,
NICHOLAS ÆGIDIUS OUDENARDE.
Nieuw-Amsterdam, July, 1827.
WHICH IS EARNESTLY RECOMMENDED TO THE
ATTENTIVE PERUSAL OF THE JUDICIOUS
READER.
You will please to understand, gentle reader, that
being a true descendant of the adventurous Hollanders
who first discovered the renowned island
of Manhattan—which is every day becoming more
and more worth its weight in paper money—I have
all my life been a sincere and fervent follower of the
right reverend and jolly St. Nicholas, the only tutelary
of this mighty state. I have never, on any
proper occasion, omitted doing honour to his memory
by keeping his birthday with all due observances,
and paying him my respectful devoirs on
Christmas and Newyear's eve.
From my youth upward I have been always
careful to hang up my stocking in the chimney
corner, on both these memorable anniversaries; and
this I hope I may say without any unbecoming ebullition
of vanity, that on no occasion did I ever fail
to receive glorious remembrances of his favour and
countenance, always saving two exceptions. Once
when the good saint signified his displeasure at my
tearing up a Dutch almanac, and again on occasion
of my going to a Presbyterian meeting house with
a certain little Dutch damsel, by filling my stockings
with snow balls, instead savoury oily cookies.
Saving these manifestations of his displeasure, I
can safely boast of having been always a special
favourite of the good St. Nicholas, who hath ever
shown a singular kindness and suavity towards me
in all seasons of my life, wherein he hath at divers
times and seasons of sore perplexity, more than
once vouchsafed to appear to me in dreams and
visions, always giving me sage advice and goodly
admonition. The which never failed of being of
great service to me in my progress through life,
seeing I was not only his namesake, but always
reverently honoured his name to the best of my
poor abilities.
From my youth upward I have, moreover, been
accustomed to call upon him in time of need; and
this I will say for him, that he always came
promptly whenever he was within hearing. I will
not detain the expectant reader with the relation of
these special instances, touching the years of my
juvenility, but straightway proceed to that which is
material to my present purpose.
The reader will please to comprehend that after
I had, with the labour and research of many years,
completed the tales which I now, with an humble
deference, offer to his acceptance, I was all at once
struck dumb, with the unparalleled difficulty of finding
a name for my work, seeing that every title
appertinent to such divertisements hath been applied
over and over again, long and merry agone.
Now, as before intimated to the judicious reader,
whenever I am in sore perplexity of mind, as not
unfrequently happens to such as (as it were) cudgel
their brains for the benefit of their fellow-creatures—I
say, when thus beleaguered, I always shut my
eyes, lean back in my chair, which is furnished
with a goodly stuffed back and arms, and grope for
that which I require in the profound depths of abstraction.
It was thus I comported myself on this trying
occasion, when, lo! and behold! I incontinently fell
asleep, as it were, in the midst of my cogitations,
and while I was fervently praying to the good-hearted
St. Nicholas to inspire me with a proper
and significant name for this my mental offspring.
I cannot with certainty say how long I had remained
in the bonds of abstraction, before I was
favoured with the appearance of a vision, which, at
first sight, I knew to be that of the excellent St.
Nicholas, who scorns to follow the pestilent fashions
of modern times, but ever appears in the ancient
dress of the old patriarchs of Holland. And
here I will describe the good saint, that peradventure
all those to whom he may, in time to come,
vouchsafe his presence, may know him at first
sight, even as they know the father that begot
them.
He is a right fat, jolly, roistering little fellow—
if I may make bold to call him so familiarly—and
had I not known him of old for a veritable saint, I
might, of a truth, have taken him, on this occasion,
for little better than a sinner. He was dressed in a
snuff-coloured coat of goodly conceited dimensions,
having broad skirts, cuffs mighty to behold, and
buttons about the size of a moderate Newyear
cooky. His waistcoat and breeches, of which he
had a proper number, were of the same cloth and
colour; his hose of gray worsted; his shoes high-quartered,
even up to the instep, ornamented with
a pair of silver buckles, exceedingly bright; his hat
was of a low crown and right broad brim, cocked
up on one side; and in the buttonholes of his coat
was ensconced a long delft pipe, almost as black as
ebony. His visage was the picture of good-humoured
benevolence; and by these marks I knew
him as well as I know the nose on my own face.
The good saint, being always in a hurry on errands
of good fellowship, and especially about the
time of the holydays of Paas and Pinxster; and
being withal a person of little ceremony, addressed
me without delay, and with much frankness, which
was all exceedingly proper, as we were such old
friends. He spoke to me in Dutch, which is now
a learned language, understood only by erudite
scholars.
“What aileth thee, my Godson Nicholas?” quoth
he.
I was about to say I was in sore perplexity concerning
the matter aforesaid, when he courteously
interrupted me, saying,
“Be quiet, I know it, and therefore there is no
special occasion for thee to tell me. Thou shalt
call thy work ‘THE BOOK OF ST. NICHOLAS,’ in
honour of thy _patroon_; and here are the materials
of my biography, which I charge thee, on pain of
empty pockets from this time forward, to dilate and
adorn in such a manner, as that, foreseeing, as I do,
thy work will go down to the latest posterity, it
may do honour to my name, and rescue it from that
obscurity in which it hath been enveloped through
the crying ignorance of past generations, who have
been seduced into a veneration for St. George, St.
Dennis, St. David, and other doughty dragon-slaying
saints, who were little better than roistering
bullies. Moreover, I charge thee, as thou valuest
my blessing and protection, to dedicate thy work
unto the worthy and respectable societies of St.
Nicholas in this my stronghold in the New World.
Thou mightst, perhaps, as well have left out that
prank of mine at the carousing of old Baltus, but
verily it matters not. Let the truth be told.”
Saying this, he handed me a roll of ancient vellum,
containing, as I afterwards found, the particulars
which, in conformity with his solemn command,
I have dilated into the only veritable biography
of my patron saint which hath ever been given
to the world. The one hitherto received as orthodox
is, according to the declaration of the saint
himself, little better than a collection of legends,
written under the express inspection of the old lady
of Babylon.
I reverently received the precious deposite, and
faithfully promised obedience to his commands;
whereupon the good St. Nicholas, puffing in my
face a whiff of tobacco smoke more fragrant than
all the spices of the East, blessed me, and departed
in haste, to be present at a wedding in Communipaw.
Hereupon I awoke, and should have thought
all that had passed but a dream, arising out of the
distempered state of my mind, had I not held in my
hand the identical roll of vellum, presented in the
manner just related. On examination, it proved to
contain the matter which is incorporated in the first
story of this collection, under the title of “The
Legend of St. Nicholas,” not only in due obedience
to his command, but in order that henceforward
no one may pretend ignorance concerning
this illustrious and benevolent saint, seeing they
have now a biography under his own hand.
Thus much have I deemed it proper to preface
to the reader, as some excuse for the freedom of
having honoured my poor fictions with the title of
The Book of St. Nicholas, which might otherwise
have been deemed a piece of unchristian presumption.
THE STORY BOOK
OF
SAINT NICHOLAS.
THE LEGEND OF ST. NICHOLAS.
Everybody has heard of St. Nicholas, that
honest Dutch saint, whom I look upon as having
been one of the most liberal, good-natured little
fat fellows in the world. But, strange as it may
seem, though everybody has heard, nobody seems
to know anything about him. The place of his
birth, the history of his life, and the manner in
which he came to be the dispenser of Newyear
cakes, and the patron of good boys, are matters
that have hitherto not been investigated, as they
ought to have been long and long ago. I am about
to supply this deficiency, and pay a debt of honour
which is due to this illustrious and obscure tutelary
genius of the jolly Newyear.
It hath often been justly remarked that the birth,
parentage, and education of the most illustrious
personages of antiquity, are usually enveloped in
the depths of obscurity. And this obscurity, so far
from being injurious to their dignity and fame, has
proved highly beneficial; for as no one could tell
who were their fathers and mothers on earth, they
could the more easily claim kindred with the skies,
and trace their descent from the immortals. Such
was the case with Saturn, Hercules, Bacchus, and
others among the heathens; and of St. George,
St. Dennis, St. Andrew, St. Patrick, and the rest
of the tutelaries, of whom—I speak it with great
respect and reverence—it may justly be said, that
nobody would ever have heard of their progenitors
but for the renown of their descendants. It is,
therefore, no reflection on the respectable St.
Nicholas, that his history has hitherto remained a
secret, and his origin unknown.
In prosecuting this biography, and thus striving
to repay my obligations for divers, and I must say
unmerited favours received from this good saint,
after whom I was christened, I shall refrain from
all invention or hyperbole, seeking the truth industriously,
and telling it simply and without reserve
or embellishment. I scorn to impose on my readers
with cock and bull stories of his killing dragons,
slaughtering giants, or defeating whole armies of
pagans with his single arm. St. Nicholas was a
peaceful, quiet, orderly saint, who, so far as I have
been able to learn, never shed a drop of blood in
his whole life, except, peradventure, it may be possible
he sometimes cut his finger, of which I profess
to know nothing, and, therefore, contrary to
the custom of biographers, shall say nothing.
St. Nicholas was born—and that is all I can tell
of the matter—on the first of January; but in what
year or at what place, are facts which I have not
been able to ascertain, although I have investigated
them with the most scrupulous accuracy. His obscurity
would enable me to give him a king and
queen for his parents, whereby he might be able
to hold up his head with the best of them all; but,
as I before observed, I scorn to impose such doubtful,
to say no worse, legends upon my readers.
Nothing is known of his early youth, except that
it hath come down to us that his mother dreamed,
the night before his birth, that the sun was changed
into a vast Newyear cake and the stars into _oily
cooks_—which she concluded was the reason they
burned so bright. It hath been shrewdly intimated
by certain would-be antiquaries, who doubtless
wanted to appear wiser than they really were, that
because our worthy saint was called Nicholas, that
must of course have been the name of his father.
But I set such conjectures at naught, seeing that if
all the sons were called after their fathers, the distinction
of senior and junior would no longer be
sufficient, and they would be obliged to number
them as they do in the famous island of Nantucket,
where I hear there are thirty-six Isaac Coffins and
sixteen Pelegs.
Now, of the first years of the life of good St.
Nicholas, in like manner, we have been able to
learn nothing until he was apprenticed to a baker
in the famous city of Amsterdam, after which this
metropolis was once called, but which my readers
doubtless know was christened over again when
the English usurped possession, in the teeth of the
great right of discovery derived from the illustrious
navigator, Henricus Hudson, who was no more an
Englishman than I am.
“Whether the youth Nicholas was thus apprenticed
to a baker on account of his mother's dream,
or from his great devotion to Newyear cakes, which
may be inferred from the bias of his after life, it is
impossible to tell at this distant period. It is certain,
however, that he was so apprenticed, and that
is sufficient to satisfy all reasonable readers. As
for those pestilent, curious, prying people, who
want to know the why and wherefore of everything
we refer them to the lives of certain famous persons,
which are so intermingled and confounded
with the lives of their contemporaries, and the
events, great and small, which happened in all
parts of the world during their sojourn on the earth,
that it is utterly impossible to say whose life it is
we are reading. Many people of little experience
take the title page for a guide, not knowing, peradventure,
they might almost as safely rely upon history
for a knowledge of the events of past ages.
Little Nicholas, our hero, was a merry, sweet-tempered
caitiff, which was, doubtless, somewhat
owing to his living almost altogether upon sweet
things. He was marvellously devoted to cakes,
and ate up numberless gingerbread alphabets before
he knew a single letter.
Passing over the intermediate years, of which,
indeed, I know no more than the man in the moon,
I come to the period when, being twenty-four, and
the term of his apprenticeship almost out, he fell
desperately in love with the daughter of his worthy
master, who was a burgomaster of forty years
standing. In those unprecocious times, the boys
did not grow to be men and the girls women, so
soon as they do now. It would have been considered
highly indecent for the former to think of falling
in love before they were out of their time, or
the latter to set up for young women before they
knew how to be anything else. But as soon as
the worthy Nicholas arrived at the age of twenty-four,
being, as I said, within a year of the expiration
of his time, he thought to himself that Katrinchee,
or Catharine, as the English call it, was a
clever, notable little soul, and eminently calculated
to make him a good wife. This was the main
point in the times of which I am speaking, when
people actually married without first running mad
either for love or money.
Katrinchee was the toast of all the young bakers
of Amsterdam, and honest Nicholas had as many
rivals as there were loaves of bread in that renowned
city. But he was as gallant a little Dutchman
as ever smoked his way through the world
pipe foremost, and did not despair of getting the
better of his rivals, especially as he was a great
favourite with the burgomaster, as, indeed, his conduct
merited. Instead of going the vulgar way to
work, and sighing and whining out romance in her
ear, he cunningly, being doubtless inspired by
Cupid himself, proceeded to insinuate his passion,
and make it known by degrees, to the pretty little
Katrinchee, who was as plump as a partridge, and
had eyes of the colour of a clear sky.
First did he bake a cake in the shape of a heart
pierced half through by a toasting fork, the which
he presented her smoking hot, which she received
with a blush and did eat, to the great encouragement
of the worthy Nicholas. A month after, for
he did not wish to alarm the delicacy of the pretty
Katrinchee, he did bake another cake in the shape
of two hearts, entwined prettily with a true lover's
knot. This, too, she received with a blush, and
did eat with marvellous content. After the expiration
of a like period, he did contrive another cake
in the shape of a letter, on which he had ingeniously
engraven the following couplet:—
“Wer diesen glauben wöhlt hat die vernanft verschworen,
Dem denken abgesaght sein eigentham verlohren.”
The meaning of which, if the reader doth not comprehend,
I do hereby earnestly advise him to set
about studying the Dutch language forthwith, that
he may properly appreciate its hidden beauties.
Little Katrinchee read this poesy with a sigh,
and rewarded the good Nicholas with a look which,
as he afterward affirmed, would have heated an
oven.
Thus did the sly youth gradually advance himself
in the good graces of the little damsel, until at
length he ventured a downright declaration, in the
shape of a cake made in the exact likeness of a
little Dutch Cupid. The acceptance of this was
conclusive, and was followed by permission to address
the matter to the decision of the worthy burgomaster,
whose name I regret hath not come
down to the present time.
The good man consulted his pipe, and after six
months' hard smoking, came to the conclusion that
the thing was feasible. Nicholas was a well-behaved,
industrious lad, and the burgomaster justly
concluded that the possession of virtuous and industrious
habits without houses and lands, was
better than houses and lands without them. So he
gave his consent like an honest and ever to be
respected magistrate.
The news of the intended marriage spoiled all
the bread baked in Amsterdam that day. The
young bakers were so put out that they forgot to
put yeast in their bread, and it was all heavy. But
the hearts of the good Nicholas and his bride were
as light as a feather notwithstanding, and when
they were married it was truly said there was not
a handsomer couple in all Amsterdam.
They lived together happily many years, and
nothing was wanting to their felicity but a family
of little chubby boys and girls. But it was ordained
that he never should be blessed with any
offspring, seeing that he was predestined to be the
patron and benefactor of the children of others, not
of his own. In good time, and in the fullness of
years, the burgomaster died, leaving his fortune
and his business to Nicholas, who had ever been a
kind husband to his daughter, and a dutiful son to
himself. Rich and liberal, it was one of the chief
pleasures of the good Nicholas to distribute his
cakes, of which he baked the best in all Amsterdam,
to the children of the neighbourhood, who
came every morning, and sometimes in the evening;
and Nicholas felt his heart warm within his bosom
when he saw how they ate and laughed, and were
as happy, ay, and happier, too, than so many little
kings. The children all loved him, and so did their
fathers and mothers, so that in process of time he
was made a burgomaster, like his father-in-law
before him.
Not only did he entertain the jolly little folk of
the city in the manner heretofore described, but
his home was open to all travellers and sojourners
who had no other home, as well as those who came
recommended from afar off. In particular the
good pilgrims of the church, who went about
preaching and propagating the true faith, by the
which I mean the doctrines of the illustrious reformers
in all time past.
The good Nicholas had, in the latter part of his
life, embraced these doctrines with great peril to
himself, for sore were the persecutions they underwent
in those days who departed from the crying
abominations of the ancient church; and had it not
been for the good name he had established in the
city of Amsterdam, among all classes, high and
low, rich and poor, he might, peradventure, have
suffered at the stake. But he escaped, as it were,
by a miracle, and lived to see the truth triumph at
last even throughout all the land.
But before this came to pass his faithful and
affectionate helpmate had been taken from him by
death, sorely to his grief; and he would have stood
alone in the world had it not been for the little
children, now grown up to be men and women,
who remembered his former kindness, and did all
they could to console him—for such is ever the
reward of kindness to our fellow-creatures.
One night as he was sitting disconsolate at home,
thinking of poor Katrinchee, and wishing that
either she was with him or he with her, he heard a
distant uproar in the street, which seemed approaching
nearer and nearer. He was about to
rise and go to the door to see what was the occasion,
when suddenly it was pushed open with some
violence, and a man rushed past him with very
little ceremony. He seemed in a great hurry, for
he panted for breath, and it was some time before
he could say,
“I beseech thee to shut the door and hide me,
for my life is in danger.”
Nicholas, who never refused to do a good-natured
act, did as he was desired, so far as shutting and
barring the door. He then asked,
“What hath endangered thy life, and who art
thou, friend, that thou art thus afraid?”
“Ask me not now, I beseech thee, Nicholas—”
“Thou knowest my name then?” said the other,
interrupting him.
“I do—everybody knows thee, and thy kindness
of heart. But ask me nothing now—only hide me
for the present, and when the danger is past I will
tell thee all.”
“Thou art no murderer or fugitive from justice?”
“No, on my faith. I am sinned against, but I
never injured but one man, and I was sorry for
that. But hark, I hear them coming—wilt thou
or wilt thou not protect me?”
“I will,” said the good Nicholas, who saw in
the dignified air and open countenance of the stranger
something that inspired both confidence and
awe. Accordingly he hastily led him into a remote
apartment, where he secreted him in a closet,
the door of which could not be distinguished, and
in which he kept his money and valuables, for he
said to himself, I will trust this man, he does not
look as if he would abuse my confidence.
“Take this key and lock thyself in, that thou
mayst be able to get out in case they take me
away.”
Presently there was heard a great hallooing and
banging at the outward door, with a cry of “Open!
open!” and Nicholas went to the door and opened it.
A flood of people rushed in helter-skelter, demanding
the body of an arch heretic, who, they said, had
been seen to take refuge in the house. But with
all their rage and eagerness, they begged his excuse
for this unceremonious proceeding, for Nicholas
was beloved and respected by all, though he
was a heretic himself.
“He's here—we saw him enter!” they cried.
“If he is here, find him,” quoth Nicholas, quietly.
“I will not say he is not here, neither would I betray
him if he were.”
The interlopers then proceeded to search all
parts of the house, except the secret closet, which
escaped their attention. When they had done this,
one of them said.
“We have heard of thy having a secret place in
thy house where thy money and papers are secured.
Open it to us—we swear not to molest or take
away aught that is thine.”
The good Nicholas was confounded at this
demand, and stood for a moment not knowing
what to say or what to do. The stranger in the
closet heard it too; but he was a stout-hearted man,
and trusted in the Lord.
“Where is thy strong closet?” cried one of the
fiercest and most forward of the intruders. “We
must and will find it.”
“Well, then, find it,” quoth Nicholas, quietly.
They inspected the room narrowly, and knocked
against the walls in hopes the hollow sound would
betray the secret of the place. But they were
disappointed, for the door was so thick that it returned
no hollow sound.
They now began to be impatient, and savage
withal, and the ferocious leader exclaimed,
“Let us take this fellow then. One heretic is
as good as another—as bad I mean.”
“Seize him!” cried one.
“Away with him!” cried another.
“To the stake!” cried a third.
They forgot the ancient kindness of the good
man; for bigotry and over-heated zeal remember
not benefits, and pay no respect to the obligations
of gratitude. The good Nicholas was violently
seized, his hands tied behind him, and he was
about to be carried away a sacrifice to the demon
of religious discord, when the door of the closet
flew open, and the stranger came forth with a step
so firm, a look so lofty and inspired, that the rabble
quailed, and were silent before him.
“Unbind this man,” said he, in a voice of authority,
“and bind me in his stead.”
Not a man stirred. They seemed spell bound,
and stood looking at each other in silent embarrassment.
“Unbind this man, I say!”
Still they remained, as it were, petrified with
awe and astonishment.
“Well, then, I shall do it myself,” and he proceeded
to release the good Nicholas from his bonds,
while the interlopers remained silent and motionless.
“Mistaken men!” then said he, looking at them
with pity, mingled with indignation, “you believe
yourselves fulfilling the duties of your faith when
you chase those who differ from you about the
world, as if they were wild beasts, and drag them
to the stake, like malefactors who have committed
the worst crimes against society. You think that
the blood of human victims is the most acceptable
offering to your Maker, and worse than the ignorant
pagans, who made martyrs of the blessed
saints, sacrifice them on the altar of a religion
which is all charity, meekness, and forgiveness.
But I see you are ashamed of yourselves. Go,
and do so no more.”
The spirit of intolerance quailed before the majesty
of truth and genius. The poor deluded men,
whose passions had been stimulated by mistaken
notions of religious duty, bowed their heads and
departed, rebuked and ashamed.
“Who art thou?” asked Nicholas, when they
were gone.
“Thou shalt soon know,” replied the stranger.
“In the mean time listen to me. I must be gone
before the fiend, which I have, perhaps, only laid
for a few moments, again awakens in the bosoms
of these deluded men, or some others like them
get on the scent of their prey, and track their victim
hither. Listen to me, Nicholas, kind and good
Nicholas. Thou wouldst have endangered thy
own life for the safety of a stranger—one who had
no claim on thee save that of hospitality—nay, not
even that, for I was not thy guest by invitation, but
intrusion. Blessed be thee and thine, thy house,
thy memory when thou art dead, and thy lot hereafter.
Thou art worthy to know who I am.”
He then disclosed to him a name with which
the world hath since rung, from clime to clime,
from country to country. A name incorporated inseparably
with the interests of truth and the progress
of learning.
“Tell it not in Gath—proclaim it not in the
streets of Askalon,” continued he, “for it is a name
which carries with it the sentence of death in this
yet benighted city. Interests of the deepest nature—interests
vitally connected with the progress of
truth—the temporal and eternal happiness of millions
living, of millions yet unborn, brought me
hither. The business I came upon is in part performed;
but it is now known to some that I am, or
have been in the city, who will never rest till they
run me down and tear me in pieces. Farewell,
and look for thy reward, if not here, hereafter—for,
sure as thou livest and breathest, a good action,
done with a pure and honest motive, is twice
blessed—once to the doer and once to him to whom
it is done.
The good Nicholas would have knelt to the
mighty genius that stood before him, but he prevented
him.
“I am no graven image, nor art thou an idolater
that thou shouldst kneel to me. Farewell! Let
me have thy prayers, for the prayers of a good man
are indeed blessings.”
Saying this, the illustrious stranger departed in
haste, and Nicholas never saw him more for a long
time. But he said to himself,
“Blessed is my house, for it hath sheltered the
bright light of the universe.”
From that time forward, he devoted himself to
the good cause of the reformation with heart and
soul. His house was ever the refuge of the persecuted;
his purse the never-failing resource of
the distressed; and many were the victims of
bigotry and intolerance whom his influence and
entreaties saved from the stake and the torture.
He lived a blessing to all within the sphere of his
influence, and was blessed in living to see the faith
which he loved and cherished at length triumph
over the efforts of power, the arts of intrigue, and
the fire of bigotry.
Neither did he forget or neglect the customary
offices of kindness and good will to the little children
of the city, who continued still to come and
share his goodly cakes, which he gave with the
smile and the open hand of kind and unaffected
benignity. It must have been delightful to see the
aged patriarch sitting at his door, while the little
boys and girls gathered together from all parts to
share his smiles, to be patted on the head, and
kissed, and laden with his bounties.
Every Newyear's day especially, being his birthday,
as it came round, was a festival, not only to
all the children, but to all that chose to come and
see him. It seemed that he grew younger instead
of older on each return of the season; for he received
every one with smiles, and even his enemies
were welcome to his good cheer. He had
not the heart to hate anybody on the day which
he had consecrated to innocent gayety, liberal hospitality,
and universal benevolence. In process of
time, his example spread among the whole city, and
from thence through the country, until every village
and town, nay, every house, adopted the good
custom of setting apart the first day of the year to
be gay and happy, to exchange visits, and shake
hands with friends and to forgive enemies.
Thus the good Nicholas lived, blessing all and
blessed by all, until he arrived at a happy old age.
When he had reached fourscore years, he was sitting
by himself late in the evening of the first of
January, old style, which is the only true and genuine
era after all—the new style being a pestilent
popish innovation—he was sitting, I say, alone, the
visiters having all departed, laden with gifts and
good wishes. A knock was heard at the door,
which always opened of itself, like the heart of its
owner, not only on Newyear's day, but every day
in the year.
A stately figure entered and sat down by him,
after shaking his hand right heartily. The good
Nicholas was now old, and his eyesight had somewhat
failed him, particularly at night.
“Thou art welcome,” quoth the old man.
“I know it,” replied the other, “every one is
welcome to the house of the good Nicholas, not
only on this, but every other day. I have heard of
thee in my travels.”
“Thou knowest my name—may I not know
thine?”
The stranger whispered a name in his ear, which
made the heart of the good Nicholas leap in his
bosom.
“Dost thou remember the adventure of the
closet?” said the stranger.
“Yea—blessed be the day and the hour,” said
the old man.
And now they had a long conversation, which
pertained to high matters, not according with the
nature of my story, and therefore I pass them by,
more especially as I do not exactly know what
they were.
“I almost fear to ask thee,” at length said Nicholas;
“but thou wilt partake of my cheer, on this
the day of my birth. I shall not live to see another.”
Old people are often prophetic on the duration
of their lives.
“Assuredly,” replied the other, “for it is neither
beneath my character nor calling to share the good
man's feast, and to be happy when I can.”
So they sat down together and talked of old
times, and how much better the new times were
than the old, inasmuch as the truth had triumphed,
and they could now enjoy their consciences in
peace.
The illustrious visiter staid all night; and the
next morning, as he was about to depart, the aged
Nicholas said to him,
“Farewell—I shall never see thee again. Thou
art going a long journey, thou sayst, but I am
about venturing on one yet longer.”
“Well, be it so,” said the other. “But those
who remain behind will bless thy name and thy
memory. The little children will love thee, and
so long as thy countrymen cherish their ancient
customs, thou wilt not be forgotten.”
They parted, and the prediction of the good
Nicholas was fulfilled. He fell asleep in the arms
of death, who called him so softly, and received
him so gently in his embrace, that though his
family knew he slept, they little thought it was for
ever.
When this news went abroad into the city, you
might see the worthy burgomasters and citizens
knocking the ashes out of their pipes, and putting
them quietly by in their buttonholes; and the good
housewives, ever and anon lifting their clean white
aprons to their eyes, that they might see to thread
their needles or find the stitches, as they sat knitting
their stockings. The shops and schools were
all shut the day he was buried; and it was remarked
that the men neglected their usual amusements,
and the little children had no heart to play.
When the whole city had gathered together at
the side of his grave, there suddenly appeared
among them a remarkable and goodly-looking man,
of most reverent demeanour. Every one bowed
their bodies, in respectful devotion, for they knew
the man, and what they owed him. All was silent
as the grave, just about to receive the body of
Nicholas, when he I have just spoken of lifted his
head, and said as follows:—
“The good man just about to enter the narrow
house never defrauded his neighbour, never shut
his door on the stranger, never did an unkind action,
nor ever refused a kind one either to friend or
foe. His heart was all goodness, his faith all purity,
his morals all blameless, yea, all praiseworthy.
Such a man deserves the highest title that can be
bestowed on man. Join me then, my friends, old
and young—men, women, and children, in blessing
his memory as _the good Saint Nicholas_; for I
know no better title to such a distinction than pure
faith, inflexible integrity, and active benevolence.”
Thus spake the great reformer, John Calvin.
The whole assembled multitude, with one voice
and one heart, cried out, “Long live the blessed
memory of the good St. Nicholas!” as they piously
consigned him to the bosom of his mother
earth.
Thus did he come to be called St. Nicholas;
and the people, not content with this, as it were by
a mutual sympathy, and without coming to any
understanding on the subject, have ever since set
apart the birthday of the good man, for the exercise
of hospitality to men, and gifts to little children.
From the Old World they carried the custom
to the New, where their posterity still hold it
in reverence, and where I hope it will long continue
to flourish, in spite of the cold heartless forms, unmeaning
ceremonies, and upstart pretensions of
certain vulgar people, who don't know any better,
and therefore ought to be pitied for their ignorance,
rather than contemned for their presumption.
THE LITTLE DUTCH SENTINEL OF THE MANHADOES.
“How times change in this world, and especially
in this New World!” exclaimed old Aurie Doremus,
as he sat at the door of his domicil—the last
of the little Dutch houses, built of little Dutch
bricks, with gable end turned to the street—on a
sultry summer evening, in the year so many honest
people found out that paper money was not silver
or gold. Half a dozen of his grown-up grandchildren
were gathered about him, on the seats of
the little porch, the top of which was shaped something
like an old revolutionary cocked hat, as the
good patriarch made this sage observation. He
was in fine talking humour, and after a little while,
went on amid frequent pauses, as if taxing his
memory to make up his chronicle.
“It was the twenty-fourth—no, the twenty-fifth
of March, 1609, that Hendrick Hudson sailed from
Amsterdam. On the fourth of September, after
coasting along Newfoundland to Cape Cod, from
Cape Cod to Chesapeake Bay, and thence back
again along the Jersey coast, he came in sight of
the Highlands of Neversink, and anchored in the
evening inside of Sandy Hook. This was in 1609—how
long ago is that, Egbert?” said the good man,
turning to me.
“Two hundred and sixteen years,” replied I,
after sore tribulation, for I never was good at ciphering.
“Two hundred and sixteen years—well, at that
time there was not a single white man, or white
man's habitation, in sight of where we are now sitting,
in the midst of thousands, ten of thousands—I
might almost say hundreds of thousands. Ah!
boys, 'tis a rapid growth, and Heaven grant it may
not afford another proof, that the quick of growth
are quick of decay.” After musing a little he proceeded,
as if speaking to himself rather than to us.
“If it were possible that an Indian, who had
lived on this spot at the time of Hudson's first visit,
could rise from the dead, with all his recollections
of the past about him, what would he think at beholding
the changes that have taken place. Nothing
that he had ever seen, nothing that he had
ever known, would he recognise; for even the face
of the earth has passed away, and the course of the
mighty rivers intruded upon by the labours of the
white strangers. No vestiges, not even the roots
of the woods where he hunted his game—no landmarks
familiar to his early recollections—no ruins
of his ancient habitations—no traces to guide him
to the spot where once reposed the remains of his
fathers—nothing to tell him that his eyes had
opened on the very spot where they closed two
hundred years ago.” Again he paused a few moments,
and then resumed his cogitations.
“And this is not all, its name and destinies, as
well as its nature, are changed. From the Manhadoes
of the ancient proprietors, it passed into the
New-Amsterdam of the Dutch, and the New-York
of the English; and now,” continued he, his eyes
sparkling with exultation—” now it is the possession
of a free and sovereign people. The sandy
barren which formed the projecting point of our
isle, and where a few Indian canoes were hauled up,
is now the resort of thousands of stately ships, coming
from the farthest parts of the earth, and bearing
the rich products of the New World into every
corner of the Old. Their masts bristle around the
city, like the leafless trees of a wintry forest. The
rugged island, to which nature had granted nothing
but its noble situation, and which seemed condemned
to perpetual sterility, is now become a region
of rich gardens and white groups of houses—the
very rocks are turned to beds of flowers, and
the tangled swamps of ivy clinging about the stinted
shrubbery, into smooth lawns, embellishing and
embellished by the sprightly forms of playful lads
and lasses, escaped from the city to enjoy a summer
afternoon of rural happiness. All, all is
changed—and man the most of all. Simplicity has
given place to the ostentatious, vulgar pride of
purse-proud ignorance—the wild Indian to the idle
and effeminate beau—politeness to ceremony—comfort
to splendour—honest mechanics to knavish
brokers—morals to manners—wampum to paper
money—and the fear of ghosts to the horror of
poverty.” Here again the old man paused, and
seemed to retire within himself for a minute or two;
after which I observed him begin to chuckle and
rub his hands, while his mischievous old eye assumed
a new vivacity.
“I wonder what figure our Dutch belles or beaux
of 1700, or thereabout, would make at a rout, or
the Italian opera? I'faith I believe they would be
more out of their element than the Indian I spoke
of just now. They would certainly make rare sport
in a cotillon, and I doubt would never arrive at
that acme of modern refinement, which enables
people to prefer sounds without sense, to sense
without sound—and to expire with ecstasy at sentiments
expressed in a language of which they
don't comprehend a word.”
“But did they believe in ghosts, grandfather?”
asked the youngest little granddaughter, who was
just beginning to dip in the modern wonders of romance,
and had been caught by the word ghost in
the old gentleman's harangue.
“Ay, that they did, and in everything else. Now
people believe in nothing except what they see in
the newspapers—and the only exercise of their
faith appears, not indeed in believing a crust of
bread is a shoulder of mutton, but that a greasy rag
of paper is a guinea. I have heard my grandfather
tell fifty stories of ghosts and witches; but they
have all passed from my memory, except one about
a little Dutch sentinel, which he used to repeat so
often, that I have never forgotten it to this day.”
“Oh, tell us the story,” cried the little romance
reader, who was the old gentleman's prime favourite,
and to whom he never thought of denying anything,
either in or out of reason. “I'll give you
two kisses if you will.”
“A bargain,” cried the good Aurie; “come hither,
baggage.” The little girl presented first one rosy
cheek and then the other, which he kissed affectionately,
and began as follows, while we all gathered
about him, and listened like so many Schahriars.
“Once upon a time, then, to use the words of a
pleasant and instructive historian, the governors of
New-Amsterdam were little kings, and the burgomasters
such great men, that whoever spoke ill of
one of them, had a bridle put into his mouth, rods
under his arms, and a label on his breast recording
his crime. In this trim he was led by the sheriff
and tied to a post, where he remained a spectacle
to the public, and an example to all evil doers—or
rather evil sayers. I wonder how such a custom
would go down nowadays, with the great champions
of the liberty of the press? Then, too, instead
of street inspectors, whose duty it is to take
care of one side of a street and let the other take
care of itself, there were roy meesters to look to
the fences, and keep the cows from trespassing on
their neighbour's pastures—then the houses were
covered with reeds and straw, and the chimneys
were made of wood—then all matrimonial disputes
were settled by ‘a commissary of marriage affairs,’
and no man could eat a loaf of bread, except the
flour had been inspected by the ‘comptroller general
of the company's windmill,’ who could be no
other than the sage Don Quixote himself—then,
the distinction of ranks, instead of being designated
by great and little barons, was signified by great
and little burghers, who danced hipsey-saw and
reels—plucked the goose—rambled on the commons,
now the park, for nuts and strawberries—made
parties of pleasure to enjoy the retired shades
of the Ladies' Valley, since metamorphosed into
Maiden Lane—shot bears in the impenetrable forests
of Harlem Heights—hunted the deer along
the Bloomingdale road—and erected Maypoles on
the first of May, in the great meadow where the
college now stands.”
“In what year of our Lord was that?” asked the
little pet lady.
“Why, in the year 1670, or thereabout, you baggage.”
“I declare I thought it must have been somewhere
about the year one,” said she, laughing.
The old man patted her cheek, and went on.
“About this time the good citizens of New-Amsterdam
were most especially afraid of three things—Indians,
ghosts, and witches. For the first, they
had good reason, for the Indians inhabited the
country around them in all directions, and though
the honest Amsterdamers could beat them at a
bargain, there was another game at which they had
rather the advantage. In regard to ghosts and
witches, I cannot say as much in justification of
their fears. But that is neither here nor there.
Some people that will run like a deer from real
danger, defy ghosts and witches, and all their
works; while the fearless soldier who faces death
without shrinking in a hundred battles, trembles
and flees from a white cow in a churchyard, or a
white sheet on a clothes line, of a moonlight night.
It was thus with honest JAN SOL, the little Dutch
sentinel of the Manhadoes.
“Jan was a short, square-built, bandy-legged,
broad-faced, snub-nosed little fellow, who valued
himself upon being an old soldier; a species of
men that, with the exception of travellers, are the
most given to telling what are called tough stories,
of any people in the world. According to his own
account, he had been in more pitched battles than
Henry the Lion, or Julius Cæsar; and made more
lucky escapes than any knight-errant on record.
The most miraculous one of all, was at some battle—I
forget the name—where he would certainly
have been killed, if he had not very opportunely arrived
just after it was over. But though one of the
most communicative persons in the world, he never
gave any tolerable reason for visiting New-Amsterdam.
He hinted, indeed, that he had been invited
over to discipline the raw provincials; but there was
a counter story abroad, that he was drummed out of
the regiment for walking in his sleep, and emptying
the canteens of the whole mess. Indeed, he
did not positively deny that he was apt to be a
rogue in his sleep; but then he made it up by being
as honest as the day when he was awake.
“However this may be, at the time I speak of,
Jan Sol figured as corporal in the trusty city guard,
whose business it was to watch during the night,
to guard against the inroads of the savages, and to
enforce, in the daytime, the military code established
for the good order and well being of the metropolis.
This code consisted of nineteen articles,
every one of which was a perfect blue law. Bread
and water, boring tongues with a red-hot iron,
hanging, and such like trifles, were the least a man
had to expect in those days. The mildest infliction
of the whole code, was that of riding a wooden
horse, for not appearing on parade at the ringing of
a bell. This town was always famous for bellringing.
Jan had many a ride in this way for nothing.
Among the most rigid of these regulations, was one
which denounced death for going in and out of the
fort, except through the gate; and another, ordaining
a similar punishment for entering or leaving
the city by any other way but the land poort, after
the mayor had gone his rounds in the evening, and
received the keys from the guard.
“The state of society, and the neighbourhood of
the Indians, I suppose, made these severe restrictions
necessary; and we are not, while sitting quietly
at our firesides, out of their reach, to set ourselves
in judgment upon our ancestors, who planted
the seeds of this empire in the midst of dangers.
In the little sketch of New-Amsterdam to which I
have before referred, and which is well worth your
reading, it is stated that the gate was shut in the
evening before dark, and opened at daylight. At
nine o'clock the tattoo was beat, as the signal for
the honest folks to go to sleep as quick as possible,
and it is recorded they all obeyed the summons in
the most exemplary manner. The sentinels were
placed at different points considered the most accessible,
and changed every half hour, that being
the limit of a quiet, orderly Dutchman's capacity
for keeping awake after nine o'clock.
“One bright moonlight night, in the month of
August, it fell to the lot of Jan Sol to mount guard,
not a hundred yards from the great gate, or land
poort, which was situated in Broadway, near where
Trinity Church now stands. Beyond this, between
Liberty and Courtlandt streets, stood the company's
windmill, where nearly all the flour was made
for the consumption of the little metropolis. The
place where he took his rounds was a sand bank,
elevated above the surrounding objects, and whence
he could see the river, the opposite shore of New-Jersey,
then called Pavonia, the capacious bay, and
the distant hills of Staten Island. The night was
calm, and the cloudless sky showed thousands of
wandering glories overhead, whose bright twinklings
danced on the slow undulating surface of the
glassy mirror. All round there was perfect silence
and repose, nothing moved upon the land or the waters,
neither lights were burning nor dogs barking;
these sagacious animals having been taught, by a
most infallible way of appealing to their instincts,
that it was unlawful to disturb the somniferous indulgences
of their masters. It was a scene for poetic
inspiration, but Jan Sol was no poet, although
he often availed himself of the poetic license in his
stories. He was thinking of something else, besides
the beauty of the night and the scene. The
truth is, his nerves were very much out of order at
that moment.
“It was about the time that witches made their
first appearance in the New World, whither they
came, I suppose, to escape the pleasant alternative
of being either drowned or hanged, proffered to
them in those days by the good people of England.
But they got out of the frying pan into the fire, as
history records, particularly to the eastward of the
Manhadoes, where some of them underwent the ordeal
of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. Others
fled to New-Amsterdam, greatly to the discomfort
of the good citizens, who took such umbrage at
broomsticks, that the industrious and cleanly housewife's
vocation of sweeping the parlour twelve times
a day was considered as naught. It is affirmed,
that instead of a broom, they used the broad-brimmed
Sunday hats of their husbands in blowing
away the dust, for fear of being taken for witches.
There was a universal panic, and a universal dust
throughout all the city.
“But this was not the worst of it either. Just
about this time Dominie Egidius Luyck prophesied
the world was coming speedily to an end, as plainly
appeared from the great quantity of toad stools,
which made their appearance in the Ladies' Valley
and Windmill Meadow after a heavy rain. This
prophecy was followed up by the appearance of
the northern lights, falling stars, and mysterious
rattlings of invisible carriages through the streets
at midnight. To crown all, an inspired fanatic had
passed through the Broadway, crying out 'Wo,
wo to the crown of pride, and the drunkards of
Ephraim. Two woes past, and the third coming,
except ye repent—repent—repent.' All these horrors
now encompassed the imagination of Jan Sol,
as he paced the little sand hillock with slow steps,
and from time to time started at his shadow. The
half hour seemed an age, and never did anybody
long so much for the appearance of a corporal's
guard to relieve him.
“He had not been on his watch more than ten
minutes, or so, when, happening to look towards
the opposite shore of Pavonia, he saw something
moving on the waters like a canoe shooting across
the river. Five hundred Indians with tomahawks
and scalping knives all at once stood before the
little sentinel, whose imagination was ready cocked
and primed for the reception of all sorts of horrors.
He had a great mind to fire his gun, and alarm the
garrison, but a little of the fear of his companions'
jokes restrained him for that time. However, he
drew a pistol, and refreshed his courage with a little
of the genuine Schiedam, after which he ventured
to look that way again. But the canoe had
disappeared in a most miraculous manner, and Jan
was satisfied in his own mind, that it was neither
more nor less than the ghost of a canoe. There
was not much consolation in this; but it was better
than the five hundred Indians, with their tomahawks
and scalping knives.
“The night breeze now sprung up with its chilling
dews, and cooled Jan's courage till it nearly
fell down to the freezing point. The wind, or
some other cause, produced a sort of creaking and
moaning in the old crazy windmill, which drew the
eyes of the little sentinel in that direction. At that
moment, Jan saw a head slowly rising and peeping
over the wall, directly in a line with the windmill.
His eyes became riveted to the spot, with
the irresistible fascination of overwhelming terror.
Gradually the head was followed by shoulders,
body and legs, which Jan swore belonged to a giant
at least sixteen ells high. After sitting a moment
upon the wall, the figure, according to Jan's
relation before the governor next morning, put forth
a pair of enormous wings, and whirling itself round
and round in a circle—while its eyes flashed fire,
and its teeth appeared like live coals—actually flew
down from the wall towards the governor's garden,
where it disappeared, or rather sank into the ground,
close by the garden gate. Jan fired his gun, and
one might have supposed he killed himself, for he
fell flat on his face, apparently as dead as a door
nail.
“Here he was found by the relief guard, about
five minutes afterwards, with his face buried in the
sand hill. The moment they touched him, he began
to roar out with awful vociferation, ‘Wo, wo to
the crown of pride, and the drunkards of Ephraim.’
They could make nothing of Jan or his story, and
forthwith carried him to the ‘big house,’ as it was
called, where the governor resided, and who, together
with the whole corporation and city, had
been waked by the discharge of the gun. Such a
thing had not happened within the memory of man.
Jan told his story, and swore to it afterwards; but
all he got by it, was a ride on the wooden horse
the next morning. The story, however, took wind,
and there was more liquor sold that day at the
Stadt Herberg, or city tavern, than for a whole
week before. Coming upon the back of the dominie's
toad stools, the northern lights, the rumbling
of the invisible wheels, and the mysterious
denunciation of the drunkards of Ephraim, it made
a great impression; and many, not to say all, believed
there must be something in it. Several
people went to church the next day, who had not
been there since they were christened.
“Measures were taken the following night, and
for several nights afterwards, to detect this gigantic
spectre, but in vain. Nothing appeared to disturb
the quiet repose of the guard and the city, till the
next Saturday night, when it came to Jan Sol's
turn to take his watch upon the sand hill, about the
same hour as before. They say Jan fortified himself
with a double allowance of Schiedam, and put
a little Dutch Bible in the pocket of one of his
breeches. But all would not do, for many people
were ready to swear afterwards, that his hair stood
on end so sturdily that he could hardly keep his tin
cap upon it. Ghosts, hobgoblins, and all that sort
of thing, have not only a propensity to visit some
one particular person, but are likewise extremely
regular in their habits, as well as in their hours of
appearing. Exactly at the same hour the little
canoe shot from Pavonia—the night breeze sprang
up as before—the old windmill began to creak and
moan—the gigantic spectre peered over the wall
at the same spot as before, and cautiously glaring
round with his fiery eyes, unfurled his mighty
wings, and after turning a few somersets, flew towards
the gate of the governor's garden, where he
disappeared as before. This time Jan was too far
gone to fire his matchlock, but a few minutes after
he was found almost insensible with fright, by the
relief guard, who carried him before the governor
next morning, where he swore to the same story,
and was complimented with another ride on the
wooden horse.
“But the repetition of a miracle is sure to make
it less miraculous; and a wonder twice told is
almost half proved. People began to believe, and
from believing, to be sure there was something out
of the way, at least, in this affair. Miracles, like
misfortunes, never come single; and almost every
one had a wonder of his own to reinforce that of
the little Dutch sentinel. At least fifty of them
happened within less than a week, each more
alarming than the other. Doors opened at midnight,
by invisible hands—strange black cats with
green eyes, and sparks of fire flying out of their
backs, appeared at different times—the old mahogany
chests of drawers made divers strange
noises, and sometimes went off with a report almost
as loud as a pistol—and an old woman coming into
market with cabbages before daylight in the morning,
met a black figure, she could almost swear had
a tail and a cloven foot. A horseman was heard
in the middle of the night galloping furiously towards
the land poort, crying ‘Whoa! whoa!’ with
a hollow voice; and what was very singular,
though several persons got up to look out of the
windows, not one could see the least sign of horse
or horseman. In short, the whole city of New-Amsterdam
was in a panic, and he was a bold man
that did not run away from his own shadow. Even
the ‘big house’ where the governor dwelt, was infected,
insomuch that his excellency doubled his
guards, and slept with loaded pistols at his bedside.
One of these made a voluntary discharge
one night, and the bullet passed right through the
picture of Admiral Van Tromp, which hung up in
the chamber. If it had been the admiral himself
he would have been killed as sure as a gun. This
accident was considered as very remarkable, as
there were no hair triggers in those days, to go off
of themselves.
“There was at that time a public-spirited little
magistrate in office, by the name of DIRCK SMET,
a pipemaker by trade, who was the father of more
laws than all the lawyers before or after him, from
Moses down to the present time. He had the itch
of legislation to a most alarming degree, and like
Titus, considered he had lost a day when he had
not begotten at least one law. A single circumstance
or event, no matter how insignificant, was
enough for him. If a little boy happened to frighten
a sober Dutch horse, which, by-the-way, was no
such easy matter, by flying his kite, the worshipful
Dirck Smet would forthwith call a meeting of
the common council, and, after declaiming a full
hour upon the dangers of kiteflying, get a law
passed, denouncing a penalty upon all wicked parents
who allowed their children to indulge in that
pestilent amusement. If there happened a rumour
of a man, a horse, a cow, or any other animal being
bitten by a mad dog, in some remote part of
New-England, or elsewhere, Dirck Smet would
spout a speech enough to make one's hair stand on
end, about the horrors of hydrophobia, and get a
law passed against all the honest mastiffs of New-Amsterdam,
who had no more idea of running mad
than I have at this moment. Owing to the number
of little creeks intersecting the city, and the
quantity of grass growing in the streets at that time,
there was never a finer city for raising flocks of
geese than New-Amsterdam—in fact, there were as
many geese as inhabitants. Dirck declared war
against these in a speech of three hours, which so
overpowered the council, that they all fell asleep,
and passed a law banishing the geese from the
city; although one of the members, who had the
finest goose pond in the place, talked very learnedly
about the famous goose that saved the capitol.
It is said that Dirck's antipathy to these honest
birds arose from having been attacked and sorely
buffeted by a valiant old gander, whose premises he
had chanced to invade on some occasion. He was,
indeed, the most arrant meddler and busybody of
his day, always poking his nose into holes and corners,
ferreting out nuisances, and seeking pretexts
for new laws; so that if the people had paid any
attention to them they would have been under a
worse tyranny than that of the Turk or the Spaniard.
But they were saved from this by a lucky circumstance—the
council thinking they did enough by
making the laws, let them take care of themselves
afterwards; and honest Dirck Smet was too busy
begetting new laws, to mind what became of the
old ones. Nevertheless, he got the reputation of a
most vigilant magistrate, which means a pestilent
intermeddler with people's domestic sports and occupations,
and a most industrious busybody in attempting
impossibilities.
“As soon as Dirck Smet heard the story of the
inroads of the winged monster, he fell into a fever
of anxiety to do something for the good of the community.
He was on the point of proposing a severe
law against winged monsters, but from this he
was dissuaded by a judicious friend, who represented
the difficulty of catching this sort of delinquents,
and that this was absolutely necessary, before he
could punish them. Baffled in this point, he fumed
about from one place to another, insisting that
something must be done for the quiet and security
of the city, and that a law of some kind or other
was absolutely necessary on the occasion, if it
were only to show their zeal for the public good.
It was his opinion that a bad law was better than no
law at all, and that it would be an inexcusable piece
of negligence to let these interloping monsters fly
over the wall with impunity.
“All this while his excellency the governor of
New-Amsterdam said nothing, but thought a great
deal. He was a little jealous of the popularity of
Dirck Smet, who had got the title of Father of the
City, on account of having saved it from the horrors
of flying kites, mad dogs, and hissing ganders. In
fact, they were two such great men, that the city
was not half large enough for them both, and the
consequence was, that instead of assisting, they
only stood in each other's way, like two carts in a
narrow lane. We can have too much of a good
thing, even as regards laws and rulers. The governor
was determined to do nothing, for no other
reason that could ever be discovered than because
his rival was so busy. The fears of the good citizens,
however, and their increasing clamours
against the negligence of their rulers, at length
roused the activity of the governor, who forthwith
convened his council, to deliberate upon the best
means of saving the city of New-Amsterdam.
“Dirck Smet, who was ex-officio a member, was
in his glory on this occasion, and talked so much
that there was no time for acting. At length, however,
the inward man gave out, and he had not
breath to say anything more. It was then, tradition
says, that a silent old member, who never
made a set speech in his life, proposed, in as few
words as possible, and in a quiet colloquial manner,
that measures should be first taken to ascertain
the truth of the story, after which means might
be found to detect the miracle or the impostor,
whatever it might be. It is affirmed the whole
council was astonished that a man should be able
to say so much in so few words, and that henceforth
the silent member was considered the wisest of
them all. Even Dirck Smet held his tongue for the
rest of the sitting, thus furnishing another striking
proof, my children, that good sense is an overmatch
for the most confirmed garrulity. The same old
gentleman suggested, that as Saturday night seemed
to be the period chosen for his two visits by the
winged monster, it would be advisable to place
some of the most trusty of the city guard in ambush
in the vicinity of the spot where, according
to the testimony of Jan Sol, he had flown over the
wall, to intercept him there, or at least overtake
him in his progress to the governor's garden. Everybody
wondered at the wisdom of this proposal,
which was adopted with only one dissenting voice.
Dirck Smet moved, as an amendment, that the
word ‘progress’ should be changed to ‘flight,’ but
it was negatived, greatly to his mortification, and
therefore he voted against the whole proposition,
declaring it went against his conscience.
“Accordingly, the next Saturday night a party
was got in readiness, of six picked men of the city
guard, under the command of Captain Balthaser
Knyff, of immortal memory, who had faced more
ghosts in his generation than any man living. The
whole band was equipped with an extraordinary
number of nether garments for defence, and fortified
with double allowance of Schiedam, to keep up
their courage in this arduous service. The captain
was considered a person of the greatest weight
in all the city; and in addition to this, he added to
his specific gravity, by stuffing into his pocket all
the leaden weights he could borrow of a neighbouring
grocer, for he did not know but the monster
might fly away with him. His comrades remonstrated
that this additional weight would impede
his pursuit of the foe; but the captain nobly replied,
‘it was beneath a soldier to run, either from
or after an enemy.’ The most perfect secrecy
was preserved in all these arrangements.
“Thus equipped, they took their station, about
eleven o'clock on the Saturday night following the
last appearance of the winged monster, under cover
of one of the neighbouring houses, and there waited
the coming of the mysterious visiter. Twelve
o'clock, the favourite hour of spectres of all sorts,
came and passed, yet no spectre appeared peeping
over the wall. By this time they began to be
wearied with long watching, and it was proposed
that they should take turns, one at a time, while
the others slept off the fatigue of such unheard-of
service. The lot fell upon Jan Sol, who being, as
it were, a sort of old acquaintance of the spectre,
was supposed to be particularly qualified for this
honour. Jan forthwith posted himself at the corner
of the house, upon one leg, to make sure of
keeping awake, as he had whilome seen the New-Amsterdam
geese do, ere they were banished from
the city, by the inflexible patriotism of Dirck Smet,
the great lawgiver.
“The little Dutch sentinel stood for about half
an hour, sometimes on one leg, sometimes on the
other, with his head full of hobgoblins and his
heart full of fears. All was silent as the grave,
save the sonorous music of the captain's vocal nose,
or, as it might be poetically expressed, ‘living lyre,’
which ever and anon snorted a low requiem to the
waning night. The moon was on the swift decrease,
and now exhibited an arch not unlike a
bright Indian bow, suspended in the west, a little
above the distant horizon. Gradually it sank
behind the hills, leaving the world to the guardianship
of the watchmen of the night, the twinkling
stars. Scarcely a minute after, the heart of honest
Jan was sent bumping against his trusty ribs, by
the appearance of something slowly rising above
the indistinct line of the city wall, which I ought
to observe was made of wood. The spectre gradually
mounted higher and higher, and rested on
the very spot where he had seen it twice before.
The teeth of Jan Sol chattered, and his knees
knocked against each other—but he stood his
ground manfully, and either would not or could
not run away. This time the spectre, though he
appeared with two enormous wings projecting from
his shoulders, did not whirl them round, or expand
them in the manner he had done before. After
sitting perched for a few moments on the wall, he
flew down to the ground, and crept cautiously
along, under cover of the wall, in a direction towards
the big house. At this moment, the trusty
Jan with some difficulty roused his companions,
and silently pointed to the spectre gliding along as
before related. Whether it was that it saw or
heard something to alarm it, I cannot say; but
scarcely had the redoubtable Captain Knyff risen,
and shaken from his valiant spirit the fumes of
sleep and Schiedam, when the spirit took as it
were to itself wings, and sped rapidly towards the
gate of the governor's garden. The party pursued,
with the exception of the captain, who carried too
much weight for a race, and arrived within sight
of the gate just in time to see the spectre vanish,
either under, over, or inside of it, they could not
tell which. When they got to the gate, they found
it fast locked, a proof, if any had been wanting,
that it must have been something supernatural.
“In pursuance of their instructions, the guard
roused the governor, his household, and his troops,
with the intention of searching the garden, and, if
necessary, every part of his house, for the purpose
of detecting this mysterious intruder. The garden
was surrounded by a high brick wall, the top of
which bristled with iron spikes and pieces of bottles
set in mortar. It was worth a man's life to
get over it. There was no getting in or out except
by the gate, on the outside of which the governor
stationed two trusty fellows, with orders to stand
a little apart, and perfectly quiet. Now all the
governor's household was wide awake, and in a
rustle of anxiety and trepidation, except one alone,
who did not make her appearance. This was the
governor's only daughter, as pretty a little Dutch
damsel as ever crossed Kissing Bridge, or rambled
over the green fields of the Manhadoes. Compared
to the queer little bodies that figure nowadays
in the Broadway, seemingly composed of
nothing but hats, feathers, and flounces, she was a
composition of real flesh and blood, which is better
than all the gauze, silk, tulle, and gros de Naples
in the world. “A man marries a milliner's shop
instead of a woman nowadays,” said the old gentleman,
glancing a little archly at the fashionable
paraphernalia of his pretty pet granddaughter.
“Her face and form was all unsophisticated
native beauty, and her dress all simplicity and
grace.”
“Is that her picture hanging in the back parlour?”
asked the little girl, in a sly way.”
“Yes; but the picture does not do justice either
to the beauty or the dress of the original.”
“I hope not,” said the other; “for if it does, I
am sure I would not be like her for the world.”
“Pshaw, you baggage,” replied the old gentleman,
“you'll never be fit to hold a candle to her.”
“The search now commenced with great vigour
in the garden, although Jan Sol openly declared it
as his opinion, that they might look themselves
blind before they found the spectre, who could fly
over a wall as easy as a grasshopper. He accordingly
kept aloof from the retired part of the garden,
and stuck close to his noble commander, Captain
Knyff, who by this time had come up with
the pursuers. All search, however, proved vain;
for after a close investigation of more than an hour,
it was unanimously agreed that the intruder, whether
man, monster, or ghost, could not possibly be
hid in the garden. The governor then determined
to have the house searched, and accordingly the
whole party entered for that purpose, with the exception
of the two sentinels without the gate.
Here, while rummaging in closets, peering under
beds, and looking up chimneys in vain, they were
alarmed by a sudden shout from the garden, which
made their hearts quake with exceeding apprehension.
The shout was succeeded by loud talking
and apparent tugging and struggling, as if between
persons engaged in hot contention. At the same
moment the governor's daughter rushed into her
chamber, and throwing herself on the bed with a
loud shriek, remained insensible for some time.
Everybody was sure she had seen the spectre.
“It appears that while the search was going on
in the big house, and the attention of everybody
employed in that direction, the sentinels outside the
gate heard the key cautiously turned inside, then,
after a little pause, slowly open. A face then
peeped out as if to take an observation, and the
owner, apparently satisfied that the coast was
clear, darted forward. The first step, he unluckily
tripped over a rope which these trusty fellows had
drawn across the gate, and fell full length on the
ground. Before he could recover his feet the two
sentinels were upon him, and in spite of his exertions
kept him down, until their shouts drew the
rest of the guard to their assistance. The spectre
was then secured with ropes, and safely lodged in
the cellar under a strong escort, to await his examination
the next morning. Jan Sol was one of the
band, though he insisted it was all nonsense to
mount guard over a spectre.
“The council met betimes at the sound of a bell,
rung by a worthy citizen, who, in addition to his
vocation of bellringer, was crier of the court, messenger
to the governor, sexton, clerk, and gravedigger
to the whole city of New-Amsterdam. It
was something to be a man in those days, before
the invention of steam engines, spinning jennies,
and chessplaying automatons caused such a superfluity
of human beings, that it is much if they
can now earn salt to their porridge. At that time,
men were so scarce, that there were at least half
a dozen offices to one man; now there are half a
dozen men to one office; all which is owing to
machinery. This accumulation of honours in the
person of the bellringer, made him a man of considerable
consequence, insomuch, that the little
boys about Flattenbarrack Hill chalked his name
upon their sleighs, and it is even asserted that he
had an Albany sloop called after him. I could,
therefore, do no less than make honourable mention
of a person of his dignity.
“After the council met, and everything was ready,
the door of the cellar was cautiously opened, and
Jan Sol, at the head, that is to say, in the rear of
a file of soldiers, descended for the purpose of
bringing forth this daring interloper, who had thus,
from time to time, disturbed the sleep of the sober
citizens of New-Amsterdam. Jan offered to bet
a canteen of Schiedam, that they would find nobody
in the cellar; but, contrary to all expectation, they
presently came forth with the body of a comely
youth, apparently about the age of five-and-twenty,
which was considered very young in those days.
Nothing was more customary there, than for a
sturdy mother to bastinado her boys, as she called
them, after they had grown to be six feet high.
They were all the better for it, and made excellent
husbands.
“When the young man came into the presence
of the puissant governor of the New Netherlands,
he appeared a comely person, tall, fair complexioned,
and pleasant of feature. He was asked
whence he came, and not having a lawyer at his
elbow to teach him the noble art of prevarication,
replied without hesitation,
“‘From Pavonia.’
“‘How did you get into the city?’
“‘I climbed the wall, near the company's windmill.’
“‘And how did you get into the governor's
garden?’
“‘The same way I got out.’
“‘How was that?’
“‘Through the gate.’
“‘How did you get through the gate?’
“‘By unlocking it.’
“‘With what?’
“‘With a key.’
“‘Whence came that key?’
“No answer.
“‘Whence came that key?’
“‘I shall not tell.’
“‘What induced you to scale the wall and intrude
into the garden?’
“‘I shall not tell.’
“‘Not if you are hanged for not telling?’
“‘Not if I am hanged for not telling.’
“‘What have you done with the wings with
which, according to the testimony of Jan Sol, you
flew from the wall, and through the street to the
governor's garden?’
“‘I never had any wings, and never flew in the
whole course of my life.’
“Here Jan Sol was called up, and testified positively
to the wings and the flying. There was now
great perplexity in the council, when the keeper of
the windmill demanded to be heard. He stated he
remembered perfectly well, that on the two nights
referred to, he had set his windmill going about the
hour in which Jan Sol saw the spectre whirl round
and fly from the wall. There had been a calm for
several days previous, and the citizens began to be
in want of flour. He had therefore taken advantage
of the rising of the wind at the time, to set his
mill going. A little further inquiry led to the fact,
that the place where the spectre scaled the wall
was exactly in a line with the windmill and the spot
where Jan held his watch. It was thus that the
spectre became identified with the wings of the mill.
This exposition marvellously quieted the fears of
the good people; but there were a number of stern
believers who stuck by the little sentinel, and continued
to believe in the winged monster. As for
poor Jan, he looked ten times more foolish than
when he used to be caught emptying the canteens
of his comrades in his sleep. This elucidation
being over, the examination proceeded.
“‘Did you know of the law making it death for
any one to enter or depart from the city between
sunset and sunrise, except through the gate?’
“‘I did.’
“‘What induced you to violate it?’
“‘I shall not tell.’
“‘Was it plunder?’
“‘I am no thief.’
“‘Was it treason against the state?’
“‘I am no traitor.’
“‘Was it mischief?’
“‘I am not a child.’
“‘Was it to frighten people?’
“‘I am no fool.’
“‘What is your name?’
“'My name is of no consequence—a man can
be hanged without a name.'
“And this was all they could get out of him.
Various cross-questions were put to entrap him.
He replied to them all with perfect freedom and
promptitude, until they came to his name, and his
motives for intruding into the city in violation of a
law so severe, that none as yet had ever been
known to transgress it. Then, as before, he declined
answering.
“In those early days, under the Dutch dynasty,
trial by jury was not in fashion. People were too
busy to serve as jurymen, if they had been wanted;
and the decision of most cases was left either to the
burgomasters, or if of great consequence, to the
governor and council. Justice was severe and
prompt, in proportion to the dangers which surrounded
the early colonists, and the spirit of the
times in which they flourished. They lived in perpetual
apprehension; and fear is the father of cruelty.
The law denouncing death to any person
who should enter the city between sunset and sunrise,
except by the gate, was considered as too essential
to the security of the citizens to be relaxed
in favour of any one, especially of a person who
refused to tell either his name or the motive for
his intrusion. By his own admission, he was
guilty of the offence, and but one course remained
for the council. The young man was sentenced
to be hanged that day week, and sent to the fort
for safe keeping till the period arrived.
“That day the daughter of the governor did not
appear to grace the table of his excellency, nor in
the management of those little household affairs,
that are not beneath the dignity of the daughters of
kings. She was ill with a headache, and kept her
bed. The governor had no child but her, and
though without any great portion of sensibility,
was capable of all the warmth of parental affection.
Indeed, all his affections were centred in this little
blooming offspring, who was the only being in all
the New World that carried a drop of his blood
coursing in her blue veins. He was also proud of
her—so proud, that his pride often got the better of
his affection. She had many admirers—for she
was fair, wealthy, and the daughter of the greatest
governor in the New World, not excepting him of
Virginia. It followed, as a matter of course, that
she was admired, but it was at an awful distance.
The honest Dutch swains, who had not pursued
the female sprite through all the mazes of romance,
and learned how ofttimes highborn ladies stooped
to lads of low degree, gaped at her at church, as if
she had been a sea serpent. They would as soon
have thought of aspiring to the governor's dignity,
as to the governor's daughter. Besides, he was
one of those absurd old blockheads, who consider
nobody good enough for their daughters at home,
and hawk them about Europe, in search of some
needy sprig of nobility, who will exchange his
mighty honours for bags of gold, and a fair, blooming,
virtuous virgin into the bargain. He had sworn
a thousand times, that his Blandina should never
marry anything below a Dutch baron.”
“Was her name Blandina—was she my namesake?”
interrupted the little granddaughter.
“Yes, girl, she was your great great grandmother,
and you were christened after her,” said the old
man, and proceeded.
“This fear on the part of the young fellows of
New-Amsterdam, and this well-known determination
of the governor, kept all admirers at an awful
distance from the young lady, who grew up to the
age of eighteen, loving no one save her father, now
that her mother was no more; and an old black
woman, who had taken care of her ever since she
was a child. The throne of her innocent bosom
had remained till then quite vacant, nor did she
know for certain what it was that made her sometimes
so weary of the world, and so tired of the
length of the livelong sultry summer hours. She
walked into the garden to pluck the flowers, until
she became tired of that. She strolled with her old
nurse into the rural retirement of Ladies' Valley,
and the shady paths which coursed the wood where
the Park is now, until she became tired of these.
In short, she became tired of everything, and so
spiritless, that her father was not a little alarmed
for her health.
“About this time the governor was called by important
political business to the eastern frontier,
and the journey was expected to take up several
days. During his absence, a party was formed to
cross the river, and spend the day in rambling about
the romantic solitudes of Weehawk, then a sort of
frontier between the white man and the Indian.
Blandina was pressed to accompany them, and at
last consented, although against the will, not only
of the governor's deputy, but of the governor himself,
who would certainly have forbidden it, had he
been present; but he was a hundred miles off, and
in the absence of the governor there was nobody
equal to the governor's daughter. The morning
was fine, and the party set out as happy as youthful
spirits and youthful anticipations could make
them. Here they rambled at will and at random,
in groups, in pairs, and alone, just as it suited them;
gathering together to take their refreshments, and
again separating, as chance or will directed them.
“Blandina had separated from the others, and
wandered, almost unconsciously, half a mile from
the landing place by herself. Perhaps when she
set out, she expected some of the beaux to follow,
but they stood in such awe of her, that not one had
the temerity to offer his attendance. Each being
occupied with his own pursuits and reflections, no
one missed the young madam for some time, until
their attention was roused by a shriek at a distance
in the wood. After a momentary pause, the shrieks
were repeated in quick succession, and almost immediately
succeeded by the report of a gun. The
little group of young people was struck with dismay,
and the first impulse was to run to the boats, and
escape into the stream. But to do them justice,
this was but an involuntary selfishness, for the moment
they missed Blandina, the young men prepared
to pursue in the direction of the shrieks and
the gun. At this crisis, a figure darted swiftly
from the wood, bearing the young lady insensible
in his arms, and approaching the group, placed her
with her head in the lap of one of the girls, while
he ran to the river, and returned with some water
in his hat.
“Blandina soon came to herself, and related that
she had been seized by an Indian, and rescued by
the young man, who, all the young damsels presently
discovered, was very handsome. He wore
the dress of a gentleman of that day, which, sooth
to say, would not cut much of a figure just now.
He was accoutred as a sportsman, and had in his
bag sufficient evidence of his skill. It was decided
on all hands that the stranger, having saved the life
of Blandina, or at least rescued her from captivity,
was destined to be her future husband, and that her
time was now come. Such prophecies are very
apt to be fulfilled. The stranger announced himself
as the son of the ancient and honourable Lord
of Pavonia, and was blushingly invited by Blandina
to come and receive the thanks of her father,
when he should return from the eastern frontier.
But he only shook his head, and replied with
a dubious smile, ‘Are you sure I shall be welcome?’
“From this time Blandina became more languid
and thoughtful than ever. When the father returned,
and heard the story of her straying into the woods,
and of her deliverance, he swore he would reward
the gallant young man, like a most liberal and puissant
governor. But when afterwards, on inquiring
his name, he found that he was the son of the Lord
of Pavonia, he retracted his promise, and swore that
the son was no better than the father, who was an
arrant splutterkin. They had quarrelled about
boundaries; his excellency claiming the whole of
the river on the west side, up to the high-water
mark, while the Lord of Pavonia, whose territories
lay exactly opposite the city of New-Amsterdam,
had the temerity to set nets, and catch shad in the
very middle of the stream. The feud was bitter
in proportion to the dignity of the parties and
the importance of the point at issue. The governor
commanded his daughter never to mention
the name of the splutterkin, on pain of his displeasure.
“Rumour, however, says that the young man
found means to renew his acquaintance with Blandina,
and that though she might never mention his
name to her father, she thought of him all day, and
dreamed about him all night. After a while the rumour
died away, and the people began to think and
talk of something else. Some of the young men,
however, who happened to see the culprit that had
dared to leap over the wall against the statute,
thought he had a strong resemblance to the youth
who had rescued Blandina from the Indian. The
young lady, as I said before, continued ill all day,
and for several days after the condemnation of the
spectre youth, who persevered in obstinately refusing
any disclosure of his name, or his motives for
scaling the walls of New-Amsterdam. In the
mean time the period of his execution approached;
only two days of life now remained to him, when
Blandina, with an effort, determined to bring her fate
to a crisis at once. She rose from her bed, pale
and drooping like a lily, and tottering to her father's
study, sank at his feet.
“‘Father,’ said she, ‘will you forgive him and
me?’
“‘Forgive thee, my daughter; I have nothing to
forgive, so that is settled. But who is the other?’
“‘My husband.’
“‘Thy husband!’ exclaimed the puissant governor,
starting up in dismay; ‘and who is he?’
“‘The youth who is sentenced to die the day
after the morrow.’
“'And who is he—in the d—l's name, I had
almost said,' exclaimed his excellency, in wrathful
amazement.
“‘He is the son of the Lord of Pavonia,’ replied
she, hiding her face with her hands.
“‘And thou art married to that splutterkin?’
“‘Yes, father.’
“'Then I shall take care to unmarry thee—the
knot the parson tied the hangman shall untie the
day after the morrow, or I'm no governor. But
who dared to marry thee against my will?'
“‘Dominie Curtenius.’
“'He did—then the dominie shall hang by the
side of the splutterkin. Go to thy chamber, to thy
bed, to thy grave, thou art no daughter of mine.'
“Poor Blandina crawled to her bed, and wept
herself into a temporary forgetfulness. The next
day she was so much worse, that the old nurse
declared she would die before her husband. The
governor kept up a good countenance, but his
heart was sorely beset by pity and forgiveness,
which both clung weeping about him. He went so
far as to sound some of the council about pardoning
the young man; but one of them, who was suspected
of looking up to the fair Blandina, talked so
eloquently about the safety of the city and the public
good, that he was fain to hold his tongue, and
shut himself up, for he could not bear to see his
daughter.
“At length the day arrived, big with the fate of
poor Blandina and her unhappy husband. She
sent to her father for permission to see him before
he died, but the governor, after a sore struggle, denied
her request.
“‘Then, indeed, he is no longer my father,’
cried Blandina, and sinking upon her bed, covered
her head, as if to shut out the world. Presently
the bell tolled the hour of the sacrifice, and its hollow
vibrations penetrated the ears of the mourning
wife. In spite of her weakness, and the endeavours
of the old nurse, she started up, and rushing
towards the door of her chamber, exclaimed, wildly,
'I will see him—I will go and see him die.' But
her strength failed her, and she sank on the floor.
In the mean time a scene, peculiarly interesting to
the fortunes of Blandina, was passing below. The
proud, obdurate, rich old Lord of Pavonia, had
heard of the capture, the condemnation of his only
son. For a while his pride and hatred of the
Governor of New-Amsterdam almost choked the
thought of entreaty or concession to his ancient enemy.
But as the time approached, and he heard
of the situation of his son, and of his unfortunate
wife, who had never offended him, his heart gradually
relented. When the morning arrived, and he
looked across the smooth river, from the long porch
fronting his stately mansion, towards the spot where
his son was about suffering an ignominious death,
he could restrain his feelings no longer.
“Calling for his boatmen and his barge, and
hastily putting on his cocked hat and sword, he
embarked, crossed swiftly over the river, and landing,
proceeded directly to the big house. He demanded
an audience of the governor.
“'The splutterkin is here too—but let him come
in, that I may be satisfied the old dog is as miserable
as myself,' said the governor, with tears in his
eyes.
“The Lord of Pavonia entered with a stately
bow, which was returned in as stately a manner
by the governor.
“‘I come,’ said Pavonia, ‘I come,’ and his
voice became choked, ‘to ask the life of my son
at your hands.’
“‘Thy son has broken the laws, and the laws
have condemned him to death, justly.’
“‘I know it,’ said the other; ‘but what if I pay
the price of his ransom?’
“‘I am no money higgler.’
“‘But if I surrender the right of the river to
high-water mark?’
“‘What!’ said his excellency, pricking up his
ears, ‘wilt thou? And the shad fishery, and the
diabolical gill nets?’
“'Yea—all—all,‘ said the other, 'to save the life
of my only son.’
“‘Wilt thou sign, seal, and deliver?’
“'This instant—so I receive back my boy
alive.'
“‘Stay, then, a moment.’
“The governor then hastily directed his bellringer
to call the council together, and laid the proposition
before them. The concession was irresistible, and
the council decided to pardon the son, on condition
that the father executed the deed of relinquishment.
He did so, and the young man was forthwith set at
liberty. It is time for me to retire,” said our good
grandfather, “so I must cut short my story. The
meeting of the husband and his faithful wife took
place without witnesses, and none was ever able to
describe it. Blandina speedily recovered, and lived
to see her children's children play about the room
by dozens. The Lord of Pavonia and the Governor
of New-Amsterdam continued a sort of grumbling
acquaintance, and dined together once a year,
when they always quarrelled about the fishery and
high-water mark. In process of time, their respective
fortunes became united in the person of the
winged monster, and formed a noble patrimony,
some of which I inherited with your grandmother.
“Jan Sol underwent many a joke, good, bad, and
indifferent, about the winged monster. But he continued
to his dying day to assert his solemn belief,
that the young Lord of Pavonia and the spectre
were two different persons. Many a time and oft
did he frighten his wife and children with the story,
which he improved every time he told it, till he
was at length gathered to his fathers, as his fathers
had been gathered before him. He had enough
people to keep him in countenance, for there were
hundreds of discreet citizens, who treated all doubts
concerning the appearance of the winged monster
with as little toleration as do the good folks of the
town of Salem the wicked unbelievers in the existence
of the great sea serpent.”
COBUS YERKS.
Little Cobus Yerks—his name was Jacob, but
being a Dutchman, if not a double Dutchman, it
was rendered in English Cobus—little Cobus, I
say, lived on the banks of Sawmill River, where it
winds close under the brow of the Raven Rock, an
enormous precipice jutting out of the side of the
famous Buttermilk Hill, of which the reader has
doubtless often heard. It was a rude, romantic
spot, distant from the high road, which, however,
could be seen winding up the hill about three
miles off. His nearest neighbours were at the
same distance, and he seldom saw company except
at night, when the fox and the weasel sometimes
beat up his quarters, and caused a horrible cackling
among the poultry.
One Tuesday, in the month of November, 1793,
Cobus had gone in his wagon to the little market
town on the river, from whence the boats plied
weekly to New-York, with the produce of the
neighbouring farmers. It was then a pestilent
little place for running races, pitching quoits, and
wrestling for gin slings; but I must do it the credit
to say, that it is now a very orderly town, sober
and quiet, save when Parson Mathias, who calls
himself a son of thunder, is praying in secret, so
as to be heard across the river. It so happened,
that of all the days in the year, this was the very
day a rumour had got into town, that I myself—the
veritable writer of this true story—had been
poisoned by a dish of Souchong tea, which was
bought a great bargain of a pedler. There was
not a stroke of work done in the village that day.
The shoemaker abandoned his awl; the tailor his
goose; the hatter his bowstring; and the forge of
the blacksmith was cool from dawn till nightfall.
Silent was the sonorous harmony of the big spinning
wheel; silent the village song, and silent the
fiddle of Master Timothy Canty, who passed his
livelong time in playing tuneful measures, and
catching bugs and butterflies. I must say something
of Tim before I go on with my tale.
Master Timothy was first seen in the village,
one foggy morning, after a drizzling, warm, showery
night, when he was detected in a garret, at the
extremity of the suburbs; and it was the general
supposition that he had rained down in company
with a store of little toads that were seen hopping
about, as is usual after a shower. Around his
garret were disposed a number of unframed pictures,
painted on glass, as in the olden time, representing
the Four Seasons, the old King of Prussia,
and Prince Ferdinand of Brunswick, in their sharp-pointed
cocked hats; the fat, bald-pated Marquis
of Granby, the beautiful Constantia Phillips, and
divers others, not forgetting the renowned Kitty
Fisher, who, I honestly confess, was my favourite
among them all. The whole village poured into
the garret to gaze at these chef d'œuvres; and it is
my confirmed opinion, which I shall carry to the
grave, that neither the gallery of Florence, Dresden,
nor the Louvre, was ever visited by so many
real amateurs. Besides the pictures, there were a
great many other curiosities, at least curiosities to
the simple villagers, who were always sure of being
welcomed by Master Tim with a jest and a tune.
Master Tim, as they came to call him when
they got to be a little acquainted, was a rare
fellow, such as seldom rains down anywhere,
much less on a country village. He was of
“merry England,” as they call it—lucus a non
lucendo—at least so he said and I believe, although
he belied his nativity, by being the merriest rogue
in the world, even when the fog was at the thickest.
In truth, he was ever in a good humour, unless
it might be when a rare bug or gorgeous butterfly,
that he had followed through thick and thin,
escaped his net at last. Then, to be sure, he was
apt to call the recreant all the “vagabonds” he
could think of. He was a middle-sized man, whose
person decreased regularly, from the crown of his
head to the—I was going to say, sole of his foot—but
it was only to the commencement of the
foot, to speak by the card. The top of his head
was broad and flat, and so was his forehead, which
took up at least two thirds of his face, that tapered
off suddenly to a chin, as sharp as the point of a
triangle. His forehead was indeed a large field,
diversified like the country into which he had
rained down, with singular varieties of hill and
dale, meadow and plough land, hedge and ditch,
ravine and watercourse. It had as many points
as a periwinkle. The brow projected exuberantly,
though not heavily, over a pair of rascally little
cross-firing, twinkling eyes, that, as the country
people said, looked at least nine ways from Sunday.
His teeth were white enough, but no two of
them were fellows. But his head would have
turned the brains of a phrenologist, in exploring
the mysteries of its development; it was shaped
somewhat like Stony Point—which everybody
knows as the scene of a gallant exploit of Pennsylvanian
Wayne—and had quite as many abruptnesses
and quizzical protuberances to brag about.
At the upper extremity of his forehead, as he assured
us, he carried his money, in the shape of a
piece of silver, three inches long and two wide,
inserted there in consequence of a fracture he got
by falling down a precipice in hot chase of a “vagabond
of a beetle,” as he was pleased to call him.
Descending towards terra firma, to wit, his feet,
we find his body gradually diminishing to his legs,
which were so thin, everybody wondered how they
could carry the great head. But, like Captain
Wattle, each had a foot at the end of it, full as
large as the Black Dwarf. It is so long ago that
I almost forget his costume. All I recollect is,
that he never wore boots or pantaloons, but exhibited
his spindles in all weathers in worsted stockings,
and his feet in shoes, gorgeously caparisoned
in a pair of square silver buckles, the only pieces
of finery he ever displayed.
In the merry months of spring and summer, and
early in autumn, Master Timothy was most of his
time chasing bugs and butterflies about the fields,
to the utter confusion of the people, who wondered
what he could want with such trumpery. Being
a genius and an idler by profession, I used to
accompany him frequently in these excursions, for
he was fond of me, and called me vagabond oftener
than he did anybody else. He had a little net of
green gauze, so constructed as to open and shut as
occasion required, to entrap the small fry, and a
box with a cork bottom, upon which he impaled
his prisoners with true scientific barbarity, by sticking
a pin in them. Thus equipped, this Don
Quixote of butterfly catchers, with myself his
faithful esquire, would sally out of a morning into
the clovered meadows and flower-dotted fields, over
brook, through tangled copse and briery dell, in
chase of these gentlemen commoners of nature.
Ever and anon, as he came upon some little retired
nook, where nature, like a modest virgin, shrouded
her beauties from the common view—a rocky glen,
romantic cottage, rustic bridge, or brawling stream,
he would take out his little portfolio, and pointing
me to some conspicuous station to animate his
little landscape, sketch it and me together, with a
mingled taste and skill I have never since seen surpassed.
I figure in all his landscapes, although he
often called me a vagabond, because he could not
drill me into picturesque attitudes. But the finest
sport for me, was to watch him creeping slily after
a humming bird, the object of his most intense desires,
half buried in the bliss of the dewy honeysuckle,
and just as he was on the point of covering
it with his net, to see the little vagrant flit away
with a swiftness that made it invisible. It was an
invaluable sight to behold Master Timothy stand
wiping his continent of a forehead, and blessing the
bird for a “little vagabond.” These were happy
times, and at this moment I recall them, I hardly
know why, with a melancholy yet pleasing delight.
During the winter season, Master Timothy was
usually employed in the daytime painting pleasure
sleighs, which, at that period, it was the fashion
among the farmers to have as fine as fiddles. Timothy
was a desperate hand at a true lover's knot, a
cipher, or a wreath of flowers; and as for a blazing
sun! he painted one for the squire, that was seriously
suspected of melting all the snow in ten
leagues round. He would go ten or a dozen miles
to paint a sleigh, and always carried his materials
on a board upon the top of his head—it was before
the invention of high-crowned hats. Destiny had
decreed he should follow this trade, and nature had
provided him a head on purpose. It was as flat
as a pancake. In the long winter evenings it was
his pleasure to sit by the fireside, and tell enormous
stories to groups of horrorstruck listeners.
I never knew a man that had been so often robbed
on Hounslow Heath, or had seen so many ghosts
in his day, as Master Tim Canty. Peace to his
ashes! he is dead, and, if report is to be credited,
is sometimes seen on moonlight nights in the churchyard,
with his little green gauze net, chasing the
ghosts of moths and beetles, as he was wont in
past times.
But it is high time to return to my story; for I
candidly confess I never think of honest Tim that
I don't grow as garrulous as an old lady, talking
about the revolution and the Yagers. In all country
villages I ever saw or heard of, whenever anything
strange, new, horrible, or delightful happens,
or is supposed to have happened, all the male inhabitants,
not to say female, make for the tavern
as fast as possible, to hear the news, or tell the
news, and get at the bottom of the affair. I don't
deny that truth is sometimes to be found at the
bottom of a well; but in these cases she is generally
found at the bottom of the glass. Be this as
it may—when Cobus Yerks looked into the village
inn, just to say How d'ye do to the landlady, he
beheld a party of some ten or a dozen people, discussing
the affair of my being poisoned with Souchong
tea, which by this time had been extended
to the whole family, not one of whom had been
left alive by the bloody-minded damsel, Rumour.
Cobus could not resist the fascination of these
horrors. He edged himself in among them, and
after a little while they were joined by Master
Timothy, who, on hearing of the catastrophe of his
old fellow-labourer in butterfly catching, had strode
over a distance of two miles to our house to ascertain
the truth of the story. He of course found it
was a mistake, and had now returned with a nefarious
design of frightening them all out of their
wits by a story of more than modern horrors. By
this time it was the dusk of the evening, and Cobus
had a long way to travel before he could reach
home. He had been so fascinated with the story,
and the additions every moment furnished by
various new comers, that he forgot the time till it
began to grow quite dark; and then he was so
horrorstruck at what he had heard, that he grew
fast to his chair in the chimney corner, where he
had intrenched himself. It was at this moment
Master Timothy came in with the design aforesaid.
The whole party gathered round him to know if
the story of the poisoning was true. Tim shook
his head, and the shaking of such a head was
awful. “What! all the family?” cried they, with
one voice. “Every soul of them,” cried Tim, in
a hollow tone—“every soul of them, poor creatures;
and not only they, but all the cattle, horses,
pigs, ducks, chickens, cats, dogs, and guinea hens,
are poisoned.” “What! with Souchong tea?”
“No—with coloquintida.” Coloquintida! the very
name was enough to poison a whole generation of
Christian people. “But the black bulldog!” cried
Timothy, in a sepulchral voice, that curdled the
very marrow of their innermost bones. “What
of the black bulldog?” quoth little Cobus. “Why,
they do say that he came to life again after laying
six hours stone dead, and ran away howling like a
d—l incarnate.” “A d—l incarnate!” quoth Cobus,
who knew no more about the meaning of that
fell word than if it had been Greek. He only
knew it was something very terrible. “Yes,” replied
Timothy; “and what's more, I saw where
he jumped over the barnyard gate, and there was
the print of a cloven foot, as plain as the daylight
this blessed minute.” It was as dark as pitch, but
the comparison was considered proof positive. “A
cloven foot!” quoth Cobus, who squeezed himself
almost into the oven, while the thought of going
home all alone in the dark, past the churchyard,
the old grave at the cross roads, and, above all, the
spot where John Ryer was hanged for shooting the
sheriff, smote upon his heart, and beat it into a
jelly—at least it shook like one. What if he
should meet the big black dog, with his cloven
foot, who howled like a d—l incarnate! The
thought was enough to wither the heart of a stone.
Cobus was a little, knock-kneed, broad-faced,
and broad-shouldered Dutchman, who believed all
things, past, present, and to come, concerning
spooks, goblins, and fiends of all sorts and sizes,
from a fairy to a giant. Tim Canty knew him of
old, for he had once painted a sleigh for him, and
frightened Cobus out of six nights' sleep, by the
story of a man that he once saw murdered by a
highwayman on Hounslow Heath. Tim followed
up the story of the black dog with several others,
each more appalling than the first, till he fairly
lifted Cobus's wits off the hinges, aided as he was
by certain huge draughts upon a pewter mug, with
which the little man reinforced his courage at short
intervals. He was a true disciple of the doctrine
that spirit and courage, that is to say, whiskey and
valour were synonymous.
It now began to wax late in the evening, and the
company departed, not one by one, but in pairs, to
their respective homes. The landlady, a bitter
root of a woman, and more than a match for half
the men in the village, began to grow sleepy, as it
was now no longer worth her while to keep awake.
Gradually all became quiet within and without the
house, except now and then the howling of a wandering
cur, and the still more doleful moaning of
the winds, accompanied by the hollow thumpings
of the waves, as they dashed on the rocky shores
of the river that ran hard by. Once, and once
only, the cat mewed in the garret, and almost
caused Cobus to jump out of his skin. The landlady
began to complain that it grew late, and she
was very sleepy; but Cobus would take no hints,
manfully keeping his post in the chimney corner,
till at last the good woman threatened to call up
her two negroes, and have him turned neck and
heels out of doors. For a moment the fear of the
big black dog with the cloven foot was mastered
by the fear of the two stout black men, and the
spirit moved Cobus towards the door, lovingly
hugging the stone jug, which he had taken care to
have plentifully replenished with the creature. He
sallied forth in those graceful curves, which are
affirmed to constitute the true lines of beauty; and
report says that he made a copious libation of the
contents of the stone jug outside the door, ere the
landlady, after assisting to untie his patient team,
had tumbled him into his wagon. This was the
last that was seen of Cobus Yerks.
That night his faithful, though not very obedient
little wife, whom he had wedded at Tappan, on the
famous sea of that name, and who wore a cap
trimmed with pink ribands when she went to
church on Sundays, fell asleep in her chair, as she
sat anxiously watching his return. About midnight
she waked, but she saw not her beloved Cobus,
nor heard his voice calling her to open the
door. But she heard the raven, or something very
like it, screaming from the Raven Rock, the foxes
barking about the house, the wind whistling and
moaning among the rocks and trees of the mountain
side, and a terrible commotion among the poultry,
Cobus having taken the great house dog with
him that day. Again she fell asleep, and waked
not until the day was dawning. She opened the
window, and looked forth upon as beautiful an autumnal
morning as ever blessed this blessed country.
The yellow sun threw a golden lustre over
the many-tinted woods, painted by the cunning
hand of Nature with a thousand varied dies; the
smoke of the neighbouring farmhouses rose straight
upward to heaven in the pure atmosphere, and the
breath of the cattle mingled its warm vapour with
the invisible clearness of the morning air. But
what were all these beauties of delicious nature to
the eye and the heart of the anxious wife, who saw
that Cobus was not there?
She went forth to the neighbours to know if they
had seen him, and they good-naturedly sallied out
to seek him on the road that led from the village to
his home. But no traces of him could be found,
and they were returning with bad news for his anxious
wife, when they bethought themselves of turning
into a byroad that led to a tavern, that used
whilome to attract the affections of honest Cobus,
and where he was sometimes wont to stop and wet
his whistle.
They had not gone far, when they began to perceive
traces of the lost traveller. First his broad-brimmed
hat, which he had inherited through divers
generations, and which he always wore when
he went to the village, lay grovelling in the dirt,
crushed out of all goodly shape by the wheel of his
wagon, which had passed over it. Next, they encountered
the backboard of the wagon, ornamented
with C. Y. in a true lover's knot, painted by Tim
Canty, in his best style—and anon a little farther,
a shoe, that was identified as having belonged to
our hero, by having upward of three hundred hobnails
in the sole, for he was a saving little fellow,
though he would wet his whistle sometimes, in
spite of all his wife and the minister could say.
Proceeding about a hundred rods farther, to a sudden
turn of the road, they encountered the wagon,
or rather the fragments of it, scattered about and
along in the highway, and the horses standing quietly
against a fence, into which they had run the
pole of the wagon.
But what was become of the unfortunate driver,
no one could discover. At length, after searching
some time, they found him lying in a tuft of blackberry
briars, amid the fragments of the stone jug,
lifeless and motionless. His face was turned upward,
and streaked with seams of blood; his clothes
torn, bloody, and disfigured with dirt; and his pipe,
that he carried in the buttonholes of his waistcoat,
shivered all to naught. They made their way to
the body, full of sad forebodings, and shook it, to see
if any life remained. But it was all in vain—there
seemed neither sense nor motion there. “Maybe,
after all,” said one, “he is only in a swound—here
is a little drop of the spirits left in the bottom
of the jug—let us hold it to his nose, it may bring
him to life.”
The experiment was tried, and wonderful to tell,
in a moment or two, Cobus, opening his eyes, and
smacking his lips with peculiar satisfaction, exclaimed,
“Some o' that, boys!” A little shaking
brought him to himself, when being asked to give
an account of the disaster of his wagon and his
stone jug, he at first shook his head mysteriously, and
demurred. Being, however taken to the neighbouring
tavern, and comforted a little with divers refreshments,
he was again pressed for his story,
when, assuming a face of awful mystification, he
began as follows:—
“You must know,” said Cobus, “I started
rather late from town, for I had been kept there by—by
business; and because, you see, I was waiting
for the moon to rise, that I might find my way
home in the dark night. But it grew darker and
darker, until you could not see your hand before
your face, and at last I concluded to set out, considering
I was as sober as a deacon, and my horses
could see their way blindfold. I had not gone quite
round the corner, where John Ryer was hung for
shooting Sheriff Smith, when I heard somebody
coming, pat, pat, pat, close behind my wagon. I
looked back, but I could see nothing, it was so
dark. By-and-by, I heard it again, louder and
louder, and then I confess I began to be a little
afeard. So I whipped up my horses a quarter of a
mile or so, and then let them walk on. I listened,
and pat, pat, pat, went the noise again. I began to
be a good deal frightened, but considering it could
be nothing at all, I thought I might as well take a
small dram, as the night was rather chilly, and I
began to tremble a little with the cold. I took but
a drop, as I am a living sinner, and then went on
quite gayly; but pat, pat, pat, went the footsteps
ten times louder and faster than ever. And then!
then I looked back, and saw a pair of saucer eyes
just at the tail of my wagon, as big and as bright as
the mouths of a fiery furnace, dancing up and down
in the air like two stage lamps in a rough road.
“By gosh, boys, but you may depend I was
scared now! I took another little dram, and then
made the whip fly about the ears of old Pepper and
Billy, who cantered away at a wonderful rate,
considering. Presently, bang! something heavy
jumped into the wagon, as if heaven and earth were
coming together. I looked over my shoulder, and
the great burning eyes were within half a yard of
my back. The creature was so close that I felt its
breath blowing upon me, and it smelled for all one
exactly like brimstone. I should have jumped out
of the wagon, but, somehow or other, I could not
stir, for I was bewitched as sure as you live. All
I could do was to bang away upon Pepper and
Billy, who rattled along at a great rate up hill and
down, over the rough roads, so that if I had not
been bewitched, I must have tumbled out to a certainty.
When I came to the bridge, at old Mangham's,
the black dog, for I could see something
black and shaggy under the goggle eyes, all at once
jumped up, and seated himself close by me on the
bench, snatched the whip and reins out of my hands
like lightning. Then looking me in the face, and
nodding, he whispered something in my ear, and
lashed away upon Pepper and Billy, till they
seemed to fly through the air. From that time I
began to lose my wits by degrees, till at last the
smell of brimstone overpowered me, and I remember
nothing till you found me this morning in the
briars.”
Here little Cobus concluded his story, which he
repeated with several variations and additions to
his wife, when he got home. That good woman,
who, on most occasions, took the liberty of lecturing
her good man, whenever he used to be belated
in his excursions to the village, was so struck with
this adventure, that she omitted her usual exhortation,
and ever afterwards viewed him as one ennobled
by supernatural communication, submitting to
him as her veritable lord and master. Some
people, who pretend to be so wise that they
won't believe the evidence of their senses when it
contradicts their reason, affected to be incredulous,
and hinted that the goggle eyes, and the brimstone
breath, appertained to Cobus Yerks's great house-dog,
which had certainly followed him that day to
the village, and was found quietly reposing by his
master, in the tuft of briars. But Cobus was ever
exceedingly wroth at this suggestion, and being a
sturdy little brusier, had knocked down one or two
of these unbelieving sinners, for venturing to assert
that the contents of the stone jug were at the bottom
of the whole business. After that, everybody
believed it, and it is now for ever incorporated with
the marvellous legends of the renowned Buttermilk
Hill.
A STRANGE BIRD IN NIEUW-AMSTERDAM.
In the year of the building of the city (which
in Latin is called _Anno Urba Conditur_) fifty-five,
to wit, the year of our Lord 1678, there appeared
a phenomenon in the street of Nieuw-Amsterdam
called Garden-street. This was a youthful stranger,
dressed in the outlandish garb of the English
beyond the Varsche river, towards the east, where
those interlopers have grievously trespassed on
the territories of their high mightinesses, the states
general. Now, be it known that this was the first
stranger from foreign parts that ever showed himself
in the streets of Nieuw-Amsterdam, which had
never been before invaded in like manner. Whereat
the good people were strangely perplexed and
confounded, seeing they could by no means divine
his business. The good yffrouws did gaze at him
as he passed along by their stoops, and the idle
boys followed him wheresoever he went, shouting
and hallooing, to the great disturbance of the
peaceable and orderly citizens, of whom it was
once said that the barking of a cur disturbed the
whole city.
But the stranger took not the least heed of the
boys or their hallooings, but passed straight onward,
looking neither to the right nor to the left,
which circumstance seemed exceedingly perplexing
to the good yffrouws, seeing it savoured of
having no curiosity to see or be seen, which to
them appeared altogether out of nature. The
stranger proceeded in a sort of rigmarole way,
seeming little to care whither he went, all along
by the Stadt Huys, the East and West Docks, the
Bendeel or Battery, the Rondeels, and I can't tell
where else. All the while he seemed to take
no notice of anything, which everybody thought
strange, since he appeared as if he had no other
business than to see the city.
In the course of his marvellous peregrinations, he
at length came to the great building, which, being
the only house of public resort, was called, by way
of eminence, the City Tavern. Here he stopped
all of a sudden, so abruptly, that little Brom, son of
Alderman Botherwick, who was close at his heels,
did run right upon his hinder parts, and almost
knocked him down, before he could stop himself.
Whereupon the stranger turned round and gave him
a look, whether of menace or good will, was long
after disputed by divers people that saw him. Be
this as it may, the stranger, on seeing the tavern,
nodded his head, and went straight up the steps
into the bar-room, where he courteously saluted
the landlord, good Mynheer Swighauser, by pulling
off his hat, saying, at the same time, nothing; which
mynheer thought rather mighty particular. He
asked the interloping stranger what he would
please to have; for he was a polite man enough,
except to losel beggars, and that sort of vermin.
The stranger hereupon said nothing, but addressed
Mynheer Swighauser in a figurative style, which
all landlords comprehend. He pulled out a purse,
and showed him the money, at the sight of which
mynheer made him a reverend bow, and ushered
him into the Half Moon, so called from being ornamented
with a gallant picture of the vessel of that
name, in which good Master Hendrick Hudson did
first adventure to the discovery of the Manhadoes.
It was the best room in the house, and always
reserved by Mynheer Swighauser for guests that
carried full purses.
Having so done, mynheer courteously asked the
stranger what he would please to have for dinner,
it being now past eleven o'clock, and the dinner
hour nigh. Whereat the stranger looked hard at
him, and said not a word. Mynheer thereupon
raised his voice so loud, that he frightened divers
tame pigeons, sitting on their coop in the yard, who
rose into the air out of sight, and, it is affirmed,
never returned again. The stranger answered not
a word, as before.
“_Wat donder is dat?_” exclaimed mynheer; “a
man with such a full purse might venture to call
for his dinner, I think.”
However, when Mynheer Swighauser and his
family sat down to their dinner at twelve o'clock,
the stranger, without any ceremony, sat down with
them, taking the chair from time immemorial appropriated
to mynheer's youngest child, who was
thereat so mortally offended, that she set up a great
cry, and refused to eat any dinner. Yffrouw Swighauser
looked hard and angry at the stranger, who
continued to eat as if it were his last, saying nothing
all the while, and paying no more heed to the
little child than he did to the hallooing of the boys
or mynheer's courteous interrogatories.
When he had finished, he took up his hat, and
went forth on a peregrination, from which he did
not return until it was nigh dusk. Mynheer was
in tribulation lest he should lose the price of his
dinner, but the Yffrouw said she did not care if she
never saw such a dumb noddy again. The stranger
ate a huge supper in silence, smoked his pipe,
and went to bed at eight o'clock, at which hour
mynheer always shut up the front of his house,
leaving the back door open to the roistering younkers,
who came there to carouse every night, and
play at all-fours. Soon after the stranger retired,
there was heard a great noise in his room, which
so excited the curiosity of Yffrouw Swighauser,
that she took a landlady's liberty, and went and
listened at the door. It proved only the stranger
playing a concert with Morpheus, on the nasal
trumpet, whereupon the yffrouw went away, exclaiming,
“The splutterkin! he makes noise enough in his
sleep, if he can't when he is awake.”
That night the good city of Nieuw-Amsterdam
was impestered with divers strange noises, grievous
mishaps, and unaccountable appearances. The
noises were such as those who heard them could
not describe, and, for that reason, I hope the courteous
reader will excuse me, if I say nothing more
about them; the mishaps were of certain mysterious
broken heads, black eyes, and sore bruises received,
as was affirmed, from unknown assailants;
and the mysterious appearances consisted in lights
moving about, at midnight, in the Ladies' Valley,
since called Maiden Lane, which might have
passed for lightning bugs, only people that saw
them said they were as big as jack-a-lanterns. Besides
these, there were seen divers stars shooting
about in the sky, and an old yffrouw, being called
out after midnight on a special occasion, did certify
that she saw two stars fighting with each other,
and making the sparks fly at every blow. Other
strange things happened on that memorable night,
which alarmed the good citizens, and excited the
vigilance of the magistrates.
The next night, matters were still worse. The
lights in the Ladies' Valley were larger and more
numerous; the noises waxed more alarming and
unaccountable; and the stranger, while he continued
to act and say nothing all day, snored louder
than ever. At length, Yffrouw Swighauser, being
thereunto, as I suspect, instigated by a stomachful
feeling, on account of the stranger's having got possession
of her favourite's seat, and set her a crying,
did prevail, by divers means, of which, thank Heaven,
I have little experience, being a bachelor, to
have her husband go and make a complaint against
the stranger, as having some diabolical agency in
these matters.
“_Wat donner meen je_, wife?” quoth mynheer;
“what have I to say against the man? He is a
very civil, good sort of a body, and never makes
any disturbance except in his sleep.”
“Ay, there it is,” replied the yffrouw. “I never
heard such a snore in all my life. Why, it's no
more like yours than the grunt of a pig is to the
roar of a lion. It's unnatural.”
Mynheer did not like this comparison, and answered
and said, “By St. Johannes de Dooper,
whoever says I snore like a pig is no better than a
goose.”
The yffrouw had a point to gain, or mynheer
Swighauser would have repented this rejoinder.
“My duck-a-deary,” said she, “whoever says
you don't snore like a fiddle has no more ear for
music than a mole—I mean a squeaking fiddle,”
quoth she, aside.
Without further prosecuting this dialogue, let it
suffice to say that the yffrouw at length wrought
upon mynheer to present the stranger unto Alderman
Schlepevalcker as a mysterious person, who
came from—nobody knew where, for—nobody knew
what; and for aught he knew to the contrary, was
at the bottom of all the disturbances that had beset
the good people of Nieuw-Amsterdam for the last
two nights. Accordingly, the honest man went on his
way to the Stadt Huys, where the excellent magistrate
was taking his turn in presiding over the peace
of the city of Nieuw-Amsterdam, and told all he
knew, together with much more besides.
During this communication, the worthy alderman
exclaimed, from time to time, “Indeedaad!” “Onbegrypelyk!”
“Goeden Hemel!” “Is het mogelyk!”
“Vuur envlammen!” and finally dismissed
Mynheer Swighauser, desiring him to watch the
stranger, and come next day with the result of his
observations. After which he went home to consult
his pillow, which he considered worth all the
law books in the world.
The honest publican returned to the City Tavern,
where he found supper all ready; and the
stranger, sitting down as usual in the old place, ate
a hearty meal without uttering one word. The
yffrouw was out of all patience with him, seeing she
never before had a guest in the house four-and-twenty
hours, without knowing all about him.
The upshot of the interview with the worthy magistrate
being disclosed to the yffrouw, it was
agreed in secret to set old Quashee, the black
hostler, to watch the stranger; though the yffrouw
told her husband he might as well set a wooden
image to do it, for Quashee was the most notorious
sleepyhead in all Nieuw-Amsterdam, not excepting
himself.
“Well, well,” quoth mynheer, “_men weet niet
hoe een koe een haas vangan kan_;” which means,
“There is no saying that a cow won't catch a
hare,” and so the matter was settled.
When the stranger retired to his room after
supper, the old negro was accordingly stationed
outside the door, with strict injunctions to keep
himself awake, on pain of losing his Newyear
present, and being shut up in the stable all Newyear's
day. But it is recorded of Quashee, that
the flesh was too strong for the spirit, though he
had a noggin of genuine Holland to comfort him,
and that he fell into a profound nap, which lasted
till after sunrise next day, when he was found sitting
bolt upright on a three-legged stool, with his
little black stump of a pipe declining from the
dexter corner of his mouth. Mynheer was exceeding
wroth, and did accommodate old Quashee
with such a hearty cuff on the side of his head,
that he fell from the stool, and did incontinently
roll down the stairs and so into the kitchen, where
he was arrested by the great Dutch andirons.
“_Een vervlockte jonge_,” exclaimed Mynheer Swighauser,
“_men weet niet, hoe een dubbeltje rollen
kan_”—in English, “There is no saying which way
a sixpence will roll.”
At breakfast, the stranger was for the first time
missing from his meals, and this excited no small
wonder in the family, which was marvellously aggravated,
when, after knocking some time and
receiving no answer, the door was opened, and the
stranger found wanting.
“_Is het mogelyk!_” exclaimed the yffrouw, and
“_Wat blixen!_” cried mynheer. But their exclamations
were speedily arrested by the arrival of the
reverend schout, Master Roelif, as he was commonly
called, who summoned them both forthwith
to the Stadt Huys, at the command of his worship
Alderman Schlepevalker.
“_Ben je bedonnered?_” cried mynheer; “what
can his worship want of my wife now?”
“Never mind,” replied the good yffrouw, “_het is
goed visschen in troebel water_,” and so they followed
Master Roelif to the Stadt House, according
to the behest of Alderman Schlepevalker, as aforesaid.
When they arrived there, whom should
they see, in the middle of a great crowd in the hall
of justice, but that “_vervlocte hond_,” the stranger,
as the yffrouw was wont to call him, when he
would not answer her questions.
The stranger was standing with his hands tied
behind, and apparently unconscious, or indifferent
to what was going forward around him. It appears
he had been detected very early in the morning in
a remote part of the King's Farm, as it was afterwards
called, but which was then a great forest full
of rabbits and other game, standing over the dead
body of a man, whose name and person were
equally unknown, no one recollecting ever to have
seen him before. On being interrogated on the
subject, he had not only declined answering, but
affected to take not the least heed of what they said
to him. Under these suspicious circumstances he
was brought before the magistrate, charged with
the murder of the unknown person, whose body
was also produced in proof of the fact. No marks
of violence were found on the body, but all agreed
that the man was dead, and that there must have
been some cause for his death. The vulgar are
ever prone to suspicions, and albeit, are so fond of
seeing a man hanged, that they care little to inquire
whether he is guilty or not.
The worthy alderman, after ordering Master
Roelif to call the people to order, proceeded to
interrogate the prisoner as followeth:—
“What is thy name?”
The stranger took not the least notice of him.
“What is thy name, _ben je bedonnered_?” repeated
the worthy magistrate, in a loud voice, and
somewhat of a violent gesture of impatience.
The stranger looked him in the face and nodded
his head.
“_Wat donner is dat?_” cried the magistrate.
The stranger nodded as before.
“_Wat donner meen je?_”
Another nod. The worthy magistrate began, as
it were, to wax wroth, and demanded of the prisoner
whence he came; but he had relapsed into his
usual indifference, and paid not the least attention,
as before. Whereupon the angry alderman committed
him for trial, on the day but one following,
as the witnesses were all on the spot, and the prisoner
contumacious. In the interim, the body of
the dead man had been examined by the only two
doctors of Nieuw-Amsterdam, Mynheer Van Dosum
and Mynheer Vander Cureum, who being rival
practitioners, of course differed entirely on the
matter. Mynheer Van Dosum decided that the
unknown died by the hand of man, and Mynheer
Vander Cureum, by the hand of his Maker.
When the cause came to be tried, the stranger,
as before, replied to all questions, either by taking
not the least notice, or nodding his head. The
worthy magistrate hereupon was sorely puzzled,
whether this ought to be construed into pleading
guilty or not pleading at all. In the former case
his course was quite clear; in the latter, he did not
exactly know which way to steer his doubts. But
fortunately having no lawyers to confound him, he
finally decided, after consulting the ceiling of the
courtroom, that as it was so easy for a man to say
not guilty, the omission or refusal to say it was
tantamount to a confession of guilt. Accordingly
he condemned the prisoner to be hanged, in spite
of the declaration of Doctor Vander Cureum, that
the murdered man died of apoplexy.
The prisoner received the sentence, and was
conducted to prison without saying a word in his
defence, and without discovering the least emotion
on the occasion. He merely looked wistfully, first
on the worthy magistrate, then on his bonds, and
then at Master Roelif, who, according to the custom
of such losel varlets in office, rudely pushed
him out of the court and dragged him to prison.
On the fourteenth day after his condemnation, it
being considered that sufficient time had been
allowed him to repent of his sins, the poor stranger
was brought forth to execution. He was accompanied
by the good dominie, who had prepared his
last dying speech and confession, and certified that
he died a repentant sinner. His face was pale
and sad, and his whole appearance bespoke weakness
and suffering. He still persisted in his obstinate
silence, and seemed unconscious of what was
going forward; whether from indifference or despair,
it was impossible to decide. When placed
on a coffin in the cart, and driven under the gallows,
he seemed for a moment to be aware of his situation,
and the bitter tears coursed one by one down
his pallid cheeks. But he remained silent as before;
and when the rope was tied round his neck,
only looked wistfully with a sort of innocent wonder
in the face of the executioner.
All being now ready, and the gaping crowd on
the tiptoe of expectation, the dominie sang a devout
hymn, and shaking hands for the last time with the
poor stranger, descended from the cart. The bell
tolled the signal for launching him into the illimitable
ocean of eternity, when, all at once, its dismal
moanings were, as it were, hushed into silence by
the piercing shrieks of a female which seemed
approaching from a distance. Anon a voice was
heard crying out, “Stop, stop, for the love of
Heaven stop; he is innocent!”
The crowd opened, and a woman of good appearance,
seemingly about forty-five years old,
rushed forward, and throwing herself at the feet
of the worthy alderman, whose duty it was to preside
at the execution and maintain due order among
the crowd, cried out aloud,
“Spare him, he is my son—he is innocent!“
“_Ben je bedonnered?_” cried the magistrate,
“_he is een verdoemde schurk_, and has confessed
his crime by not denying it.”
“He cannot confess or deny it—he was born
deaf and dumb!”
“_Goeden Hemel!_” exclaimed Alderman Schlepevalcker;
“that accounts for his not pleading guilty
or not guilty. But art thou sure of it, good
woman?”
“Sure of it! Did not I give him birth, and did
I not watch like one hanging over the deathbed of
an only child, year after year, to catch some token
that he could hear what I said? Did I not try and
try, day after day, month after month, year after
year, to teach him only to name the name of mother?
and when at last I lost all hope that I should
ever hear the sound of his voice, did I not still bless
Heaven that I was not childless, though my son
could not call me mother?”
“_Het is jammer!_” exclaimed the worthy magistrate,
wiping his eyes. “But still a dumb man
may kill another, for all this. What have you to
say against that?”
At this moment the poor speechless youth recognised
his mother, and uttering a strange inarticulate
scream, burst away from the executioner,
leaped from the cart, and throwing himself on her
bosom, sobbed as if his heart was breaking. The
mother pressed him to her heart in silent agony,
and the absence of words only added to the deep
pathos of the meeting.
Alderman Schlepevalcker was sorely puzzled as
well as affected on this occasion, and after wiping
his eyes, addressed the weeping mother.
“How came thy son hither?”
“He is accustomed to ramble about the country,
sometimes all day, alone; and one day having
strayed farther than usual, lost his way, and being
unable to ask any information, wandered we knew
not whither, until a neighbour told us a rumour of
a poor youth, who was about to be executed at
Nieuw-Amsterdam for refusing to answer questions.
I thought it might be my son, and came in time, I
hope, to save him.”
“Why did not thy husband come with thee?”
“He is dead.”
“And thy father?”
“He died when I was a child.”
“And thy other relatives?”
“I have none but him,” pointing to the dumb
youth.
“_Het is jammer!_ but how will he get rid of the
charge of this foul murder?”
“I will question him,” said the mother, who now
made various signs, which were replied to by the
youth in the same way.
“What does he say?” asked the worthy magistrate.
“He says that he went forth early in the morning
of the day; he was found standing over the
dead body, as soon as the gate was opened to admit
the country people, where he saw the dead man
lying under a tree, and was seized while thus occupied.
He knows nothing more.”
“_Onbegrypelik!_ how can you understand all
this?”
“Oh, sir, I have been used to study every look
and action of his life since he was a child, and can
comprehend his inmost thoughts.”
“_Goeden Hemel!_ is all this true? but he must
go back to prison, while I wait on the governor to
solicit his pardon. Wilt thou accompany him?”
“Oh yes!—but no. I will go with thee to the
governor. He will not deny the petition of a mother
for the life of her only child.”
Accordingly, the worthy magistrate calling on
Doctor Vander Cureum on his way, proceeded to
the governor's house, accompanied by the mother
of the youth, who repeated what he had told her
by signs. The doctor also again certified, in the
most positive manner, that the supposed murdered
man had died of apoplexy, brought on, as he supposed,
by excessive drinking; and the good governor,
moved by the benevolence of his heart, did
thereupon grant the poor youth an unconditional
pardon. He was rewarded by the tears, the
thanks, and the blessings of the now happy
mother.
“Where dost thou abide?” asked the governor.
“If it is at a distance, I will send some one to
protect thee.”
“My home is beyond the fresh water river.”
“_Wat blikslager!_ thou belongest to the Splutterkins,
who—but no matter, thou shalt have protection
in thy journey home.“ The governor, being
somewhat of a conscientious man, instead of
swearing by the lightning, did piously asseverate
by the tinman.
The young man was forthwith released, to the
unutterable joy of the mother, and the infinite content
of the Yffrouw Swighauser, who, now that she
knew the cause of his silence, forgave him with
all her heart. The next day the mother and son
departed towards home, accompanied by an escort
provided by the good governor, the commander of
which carried a stout defiance to the Yankees;
and the last words of that upright and excellent
magistrate, Alderman Schlepevalcker, as he looked
kindly at the youth, were,
”_Het is jammer_—it is a pity.”
CLAAS SCHLASCHENSCHLINGER.
Thrice blessed St. Nicholas! may thy memory
and thine honours endure for ever and a day! It
is true that certain arch calumniators, such as
Romish priests, and the like, have claimed thee as
a Catholic saint, affirming, with unparalleled insolence,
that ever since the pestilent heresy of the illustrious
John Calvin, there hath not been so much
as a single saint in the Reformed Dutch Church.
But beshrew these keepers of fasts, and other
abominations, the truth is not, never was, nor ever
will be in their mouths, or their hearts! Doth
not everybody know that the blessed St. Nicholas
was of the Reformed Dutch Church, and that the
cunning Romanists did incontinently filch him
from us to keep their own calendar in countenance?
The splutterkins! But I will restrain the outpourings
of my wrath, and contenting myself with having
proved that the good saint was of the true faith,
proceed with my story, which is of undoubted authority,
since I had it from a descendant of Claas
Schlaschenschlinger himself, who lives in great
honour and glory at the Waalboght on Long Island,
and is moreover a justice of the peace and deacon
of the church.
Nicholas, or, according to the true orthography,
Claas Schlaschenschlinger, was of a respectable
parentage, being born at Saardam, in our good
faderland, where his ancestors had been proprietors
of the greatest windmill in all the country round,
ever since the period when that bloody tyrant,
Philip of Spain, was driven from the Low Countries
the invincible valour of the Dutch, under the
good Prince of Orange. It is said in a certain
credible tradition, that one of the family had done
a good turn to the worshipful St. Nicholas, in secreting
him from the persecutions of the Romanists,
who now, forsooth, claim him to themselves! and
that ever afterwards the saint took special interest
and cognizance in their affairs.
While at Saardam, little Claas, who was the
youngest of a goodly family of seventeen children,
was observed to be a great favourite of St. Nicholas,
whose namesake he was, who always brought
him a cake or two extra at his Christmas visits, and
otherwise distinguished him above his brothers and
sisters; whereat they were not a little jealous, and
did sometimes slyly abstract some of the little
rogue's benefactions, converting them to their own
comfort and recreation.
In the process of time, Claas grew to be a stout
lad, and withal a little wild, as he did sometimes
neglect the great windmill, the which he had charge
of in turn with the rest of his brothers, whereby
it more than once came to serious damage. Upon
these occasions, the worthy father, who had a reverend
care of the morals of his children, was accustomed
to give him the bastinado; but as Claas
wore a competent outfit of breeches, he did not
much mind it, not he; only it made him a little angry,
for he was a boy of great spirit. About the
time, I say, that Claas had arrived at the years of
two or three and twenty, and was considered a stout
boy for his age, there was great talk of settling a
colony at the Manhadoes, which the famous Heinrick
Hudson had discovered long years before.
Many people of good name and substance were
preparing to emigrate there, seeing it was described
as a land flowing with milk and honey—that is to
say, abounding in shad and herrings—and affording
mighty bargains of beaver and other skins.
Now Claas began to cherish an earnest longing
to visit these parts, for he was tired of tending the
windmill, and besides he had a natural love for
marshes and creeks, and being a shrewd lad, concluded
that there must be plenty of these where
beavers and such like abounded. But his father
and the Vrouw Schlaschenschlinger did eschew and
anathematize this notion of Claas's, and placed him
apprentice to an eminent shoemaker, to learn that
useful art and mystery. Claas considered it derogatory
to the son of the proprietor of the greatest
windmill in all Saardam to carry the lapstone, and
wanted to be a doctor, a lawyer, or some such
thing. But his father told him in so many words,
that there were more lawyers than clients in the
town already, and that a good cobbler saved more
people from being sick, than all the doctors cured.
So Claas became apprentice to the shoemaking
business, and served out his time, after which he
got to be his own master, and determined to put
in practice his design of visiting the Manhadoes, of
which he had never lost sight.
After much ado, Mynheer Schlaschenschlinger,
and the good vrouw, consented unwillingly to let
him follow the bent of his inclinations, and accordingly
all things were got ready for his departure
for the New World, in company with a party which
was going out under that renowned Lord Michael
Paauw, who was proceeding to settle his domain
of Pavonia, which lieth directly opposite to New-Amsterdam.
Mynheer Schlaschenschlinger fitted
out his son nobly, and becoming the owner of the
largest windmill in all Saardam, equipping him
with awls, and knives, and wax, and thread, together
with a bench, and a goodly lapstone, considering
in his own mind that the great scarcity of
stones in Holland might, peradventure, extend to
the Manhadoes. Now all being prepared, it was
settled that Claas should depart on the next day
but one, the next being St. Nicholas his day, and
a great festival among the people of Holland.
According to custom, ever since the days of the
blessed saint, they had a plentiful supper of waffles
and chocolate—that pestilent beverage tea not
having yet come into fashion—and sat up talking
of Claas, his adventures, and what he would see
and hear in the Manhadoes, till it was almost nine
o'clock. Upon this, mynheer ordered them all to
bed, being scandalized at such unseasonable hours.
In the morning when Claas got up, and went to
put on his stocking, he felt something hard at the
toe, and turning it inside out, there fell on the floor
the bowl of a pipe of the genuine _Meershaum_,
which seemed to have been used beyond memory
since its polish was a thousand times more soft
and delightsome than ivory or tortoise shell, and
its lustre past all price. Would that the blessed
saint would bestow such a one on me!
Claas was delighted; he kissed it as if he had
been an idolatrous Romanist—which, by the blessing
of Saint Nicholas, he was not—and bestowing it
in the bottom of his strong oaken chest, resolved
like unto a prudent Dutchman, never to use it
for fear of accidents. In a few hours afterwards,
he parted from his parents, his family, and his
home; his father gave him a history of the bloody
wars and persecutions of Philip of Spain; a small
purse of guilders, and abundance of advice for the
government of his future life; but his mother gave
him what was more precious than all these—her
tears, her blessing, and a little Dutch Bible with
silver clasps. Bibles were not so plenty then as
they are now, and were considered as the greatest
treasures of the household. His brothers and sisters
took an affectionate farewell of him, and asked
his pardon for stealing his Newyear cookies. So
Claas kissed his mother, promising, if it pleased
Heaven, to send her stores of herrings and beaver
skins, whereat she was marvellously comforted;
and he went on his way, as it were sorrowfully
rejoicing.
I shall pass over the journey, and the voyage to
the Manhadoes, saving the relation of a curious
matter that occurred after the ship had been about
ninety days at sea, and they were supposed to be
well on their way to the port of New-Amsterdam.
It came into the heads of the passengers to while
away the time as they were lying to one day with
the sails all furled, except one or two, which I name
not, for a special reason, contrary to the practice
of most writers—namely, because I am ignorant
thereof—having the sails thus furled, I say, on
account of certain suspicious-looking clouds, the
which the captain, who kept a bright lookout day
and night, had seen hovering overhead, with no
good intentions, it came into the noddles of divers
of the passengers to pass the time by opening their
chests, and comparing their respective outfits, for
they were an honest set of people, and not afraid
of being robbed.
When Claas showed his lapstone, most of the
company, on being told the reasons for bringing it
such a long distance, held up their hands, and admired
the foresight of his father, considering him an
exceeding prudent and wise man to think of such
matters. Some of them wanted to buy it on speculation,
but Claas was too well acquainted with its
value to set a price on it. While they were thus
chaffering, an old sailor, who had accompanied the
renowned Heinrick Hudson as cabin boy, in his
first voyage to the Manhadoes, happening to come
by and hear them, swore a great Dutch oath, and
called Claas a splutterkin for bringing stones all
the way from Holland, saying that there were
enough at the Manhadoes to furnish lapstones for
the whole universe. Whereupon Claas thought to
himself, “What a fine country it must be, where
stones are so plenty.”
In process of time, as all things, and especially
voyagings by sea, have an end, the vessel came in
sight of the highlands of Neversink—vulgarly called
by would-be learned writers, Navesink—and Claas
and the rest, who had never seen such vast mountains
before, did think that it was a wall, built up
from the earth to the sky, and that there was no
world beyond.
Favoured by a fine south wind, whose balmy
freshness had awakened the young spring into
early life and beauty, they shot like an arrow from
a bow through the Narrows, and sailing along the
heights of Staaten Island, came in sight of the illustrious
city of New-Amsterdam, which, though at
that period containing but a few hundred people, I
shall venture to predict, in some future time, may
actually number its tens of thousands.
Truly it was a beautiful city, and a beautiful
sight as might be seen of a spring morning. As
they came through Buttermilk Channel, they beheld
with delighted astonishment the fort, the
church, the governor's house, the great dock jutting
out into the salt river, the Stadt Huys, the rondeel,
and a goodly assemblage of houses, with the gable
ends to the street, as before the villanous introduction
of new fashions, and at the extremity of the
city, the gate and wall, from whence Wall-street
deriveth its name. But what above all gloriously
delighted Claas, was a great windmill, towering in
the air, and spreading its vast wings on the rising
ground along the Broadway, between Liberty and
Courtlandt streets, the which reminded him of home
and his parents. The prospect rejoiced them all
mightily, for they thought to themselves, “We have
come to a little Holland far over the sea.”
So far as I know, it was somewhere about the
year of our Lord one thousand six hundred and
sixty, or thereabout, and in the month of May,
that Claas landed in the New World; but of the
precise day of the month I cannot be certain, seeing
what confusion of dates hath been caused by
that idolatrous device of Pope Gregory, called the
New Style, whereby events that really happened in
one year are falsely put down to another, by which
means history becomes naught. The first thing
he thought of, was to provide himself a home, for
be it known it was not then the fashion to live in
taverns and boarding houses, and the man who thus
demeaned himself was considered no better than
he should be; nobody would trust or employ him,
and he might consider it a special bounty of the
good St. Nicholas, if he escaped a ride on the
wooden horse provided for the punishment of delinquents.
So Claas looked out for a pleasant
place whereon to pitch his tent. As he walked
forth for this end, his bowels yearned exceedingly
for a lot on the Broad-street, through which ran a
delightful creek, crooked like unto a ram's horn,
the sides of which were low, and, as it were, juicy
with the salt water which did sometimes overflow
them at spring tides, and the full of the moon.
More especially the ferry house, with its never to
be forgotten weathercock, did incite him sorely to
come and set himself down thereabout. But he
was deterred by the high price of lots in that favoured
region, seeing they asked him as much as
five guilders for the one at the corner of the Broad
and Wall streets, a most unheard-of price, and not
to be thought of by a prudent man like Claas
Schlaschenschlinger.
So he sought about elsewhere, though he often
looked wistfully at the fair meads of the Broad-street,
and nothing deterred him from ruining himself
by gratifying his longings, but the truly excellent
expedient of counting his money, which I recommend
to all honest people, before they make a
bargain. But though he could not settle in Broad-street,
he resolved in his mind to get as nigh as
possible, and finding a lot with a little puddle of
brackish water in it large enough for a goose pond,
nigh unto the wall and gate of the city, and just at
the head of what hath lately been called Newstreet—then
the region of unsettled lands—he procured
a grant thereof from the schout, scheepens,
and burgomasters, who then ruled the city, for five
stivers, being the amount of fees for writing and
recording the deed by the Geheim Schryver.
Having built himself a comfortable house, with
a little stoop to it, he purchased a pair of geese, or,
to be correct and particular, as becometh a conscientious
historian, a goose and gander, that he might
recreate himself with their gambols in the salt puddle,
and quietly sat himself down to the making and
mending of shoes. In this he prospered at first
indifferently well, and thereafter mightily, when
the people found that he made shoes, some of
which were reported never to wear out; but this
was, as it were, but a sort of figure of speech to express
their excellent qualities.
Every Sunday, after church, in pleasant weather,
Claas, instead of putting off his Sunday suit, as
was the wont of the times, used to go and take a
walk in the Ladies' Valley, since called Maiden
Lane, for everything has changed under those arch
intruders, the English, who, I believe, in their
hearts, are half Papists. This valley was an exceeding
cool, retired, and pleasant place, being bordered
by a wood, in the which was plenty of pinkster
blossoms in the season. Being a likely young fellow,
and dressed in a goodly array of breeches and
what not, he was much noticed, and many a little
damsel cast a sheep's eye upon him as he sat smoking
his pipe of a summer afternoon under the shade
of the trees which grew plentifully in that quarter.
I don't know how it was, but so it happened, that in
process of time he made acquaintance with one of
these, a buxom creature of rare and unmatchable
lineaments and dimensions, insomuch that she was
considered the beauty of New-Amsterdam, and had
refused even the burgomaster, Barendt Roeloffsen,
who was taxed three guilders, being the richest man
of the city. But Aintjie was not to be bought with
gold; she loved Claas because he was a solid young
fellow, who plucked for her the most beautiful pinkster
blossoms, and was the most pleasant companion
in the world, for a ramble in the Ladies'
Valley.
Report says, but I believe there was no great
truth in the story, that they sometimes QUEESTED[1]
together, but of that I profess myself doubtful.
Certain it is, however, that in good time they were
married, to the great content of both, and the great
discontent of the burgomaster, Barendt Roeloffsen.
In those days young people did not marry to set
up a coach, live in fine houses filled with rich furniture,
for which they had no use, and become
bankrupt in a few years. They began in a small
way, and increased their comforts with their means.
It was thus with Claas and his wife, who were
always employed in some useful business, and
never ran into extravagance, except it may be on
holydays. In particular Claas always feasted lustily
on St. Nicholas his day, because, he was his
patron saint, and he remembered his kindness in
faderland.
Thus they went on prospering as folks always do
that are industrious and prudent, every year laying
up money, and every year increasing their family;
for be it known, those who are of the true Dutch
blood, always apportion the number of children to
the means of providing for them. They never are
caught having children for other people to take
care of. But be this as it may, about this time began
the mischievous and oppressive practice of improving
the city, draining the marshes, cutting
down hills, and straightening streets, which hath
since grown to great enormity in this city, insomuch
that a man may be said to be actually impoverished
by his property.
Barendt Roeloffsen, who was at the head of the
reformers, having a great estate in vacant lands,
which he wanted to make productive at the expense
of his neighbours—Barendt Roeloffsen, I
say, bestirred himself lustily to bring about what
he called, in outlandish English, the era of improvement,
and forthwith looked around to see
where he should begin. I have always believed,
and so did the people at that time, that Barendt
singled out Claas his goose pond for the first experiment,
being thereunto impelled by an old grudge
against Claas, on account of his having cut him out
with the damsel he wished to marry, as before related.
But, however, Barendt Roeloffsen, who bore a
great sway among the burgomasters, on account of
his riches, got a law passed, by hook or by crook,
for draining Claas his pond, at his own expense,
making him pay at the same time for the rise in
the value of his property, of which they did not permit
him to be the judge, but took upon themselves
to say what it was. The ancestors of Claas had
fought valiantly against Philip of Spain, in defence
of their religion and liberty, and he had kept up his
detestation of oppression by frequently reading the
account of the cruelties committed in the Low Countries
by the Spaniard, in the book which his father
had given him on his departure from home. Besides,
he had a great admiration, I might almost say
affection, for his goose pond, as is becoming in every
true Dutchman. In it he was accustomed to
see, with singular delight, his geese, now increased
to a goodly flock, sailing about majestically, flapping
their wings, dipping their necks into the water,
and making a noise exceedingly tuneful and
melodious. Here, too, his little children were wont
to paddle in the summer days, up to their knees in
the water, to their great contentment as well as recreation,
thereby strengthening themselves exceedingly.
Such being the case, Claas resisted the
behest of the burgomasters, declaring that he would
appeal to the laws for redress if they persisted in
trespassing on his premises. But what can a man
get by the law at any time, much less when the
defendant, as in this case, was judge as well as a
party in the business? After losing a vast deal of
time, which was as money to him, and spending a
good portion of what he had saved for his children,
Claas was at length cast in his suit, and the downfall
of his goose pond irrevocably decreed.
It was a long time before he recovered this blow,
and when he did, Fortune, as if determined to persevere
in her ill offices, sent a blacksmith from Holland,
who brought over with him the new and diabolical
invention of hobnails, the which he so strenuously
recommended to the foolish people, who are
prone to run after novelties, that they, one and all,
had their shoes stuck full of nails, whereby they
did clatter about the streets like unto a horse newly
shod. As might be expected, the business of shoemaking
decreased mightily upon this, insomuch
that the shoes might be said to last for ever; and I
myself have seen a pair that have descended
through three generations, the nails of which shone
like unto silver sixpences. Some people supposed
this was a plot of Barendt Roeloffsen, to complete the
ruin of poor Claas; but whether it was or not, it is
certain that such was the falling off in his trade, on
account of the pestilent introduction of hobnails,
that, at the end of the year, Claas found that he
had gone down hill at a great rate. The next year
it was still worse, and thus, in the course of a few
more, from bad to worse, he at last found himself
without the means of support for himself, his wife,
and his little children. But what shows the goodness
of Providence, it is worthy of record, that
from this time his family, miraculously as it were,
ceased to increase.
Neither begging nor running in debt without the
prospect of paying was in fashion in those days,
nor were there any societies to invite people to
idleness and improvidence by the certainty of being
relieved from their consequences without the trouble
of asking. Claas tried what labouring day and
night would do, but there was no use in making
shoes when there was nobody to buy them. His
good wife tried the magic of saving; but where
there is nothing left to save, economy is to little
purpose. He tried to get into some other business,
but the wrath of Barendt Roeloffsen was upon
him, and the whole influence of the burgomasters
stood in his way on account of the opposition he
had made to the march of improvement. He then
offered his house and lot for sale; but here again
his old enemy Barendt put a spoke in his wheel,
going about among the people and insinuating that
as Claas had paid nothing for his lot, the title was
good for nothing. So one by one he tried all ways
to keep want from his door; but it came at last,
and one Newyear's eve, in the year of our Lord—I
don't know what, the family was hovering round
a miserable fire, not only without the customary
means of enjoying the festivity of the season, but
destitute of the very necessaries of life.
The evening was cold and raw, and the heavy
moanings of a keen northeast wind announced the
approach of a snow storm. The little children
cowered over the almost expiring embers, shivering
with cold and hunger; the old cat lay half buried
in the ashes to keep herself warm; and the poor
father and mother now looked at the little flock of
ragged—no, not ragged—the mother took care of
that; and industry can always ward off rags and
dirt. But though not ragged or dirty, they were
miserably clad and worse fed; and as the parents
looked first at them and then at each other, the
tears gathered in their eyes until they ran over.
“We must sell the silver clasps of the Bible my
mother gave me, wife,” said Claas, at last.
“The Goodness forbid,” said she; “we should
never prosper after it.”
“We can't prosper worse than we do now,
Aintjie.”
“You had better sell the little book about the
murders of the Spaniards, that you sometimes read
to me.”
“It has no silver clasps, and will bring nothing,”
replied Claas, despondingly, covering his face with
his hand, and seeming to think for a few moments.
All at once he withdrew his hand, and cried,
“The pipe! the meershaum pipe! it is worth a
hundred guilders!” and he ran to the place where
he had kept it so carefully that he never used it
once in the whole time he had it in his possession.
He looked at it wistfully, and it brought to his
mind the time he found it in his stocking. He
thought of his parents, his brothers, his sisters, and
old faderland, and wished he had never parted from
them to visit the New World. His wife saw what
was passing in his heart, and said,
“Never mind, dear Claas, with these hundred
guilders we shall get on again by the blessing of
the good St. Nicholas, whose namesake you are.”
Claas shook his head, and looked at the meershaum,
which he could not bear to part with, because,
somehow or other, he could not help thinking
it was the gift of St. Nicholas. The wind now
freshened, and moaned more loudly than ever, and
the snow began to come in through the crevices of
the door and windows. The cold increased apace,
and the last spark of fire was expiring in the chimney.
There was darkness without and within, for
the candle, the last they had, was just going out.
Claas, without knowing what he was doing,
rubbed the pipe against his sleeve, as it were mechanically.
He had scarcely commenced rubbing, when the
door suddenly opened, and without more ado, a little
man, with a right ruddy good-humoured face, as
round as an apple, and a cocked beaver, white with
snow, walked in, without so much as saying, “By
your leave,” and sitting himself by the side of the
yffrouw, began to blow at the fire, and make as if
he was warming his fingers, though there was no
fire there, for that matter.
Now Claas was a good-natured fellow, and
though he had nothing to give, except a welcome,
which is always in the power of everybody, yet he
wished to himself he had more fire to warm people's
fingers. After a few moments, the little man
rubbed his hands together, and looking around him,
with a good-humoured smile, said,
“Mynheer Schlaschenschlinger, methinks it
might not be amiss to replenish this fire a little;
'tis a bitter cold night, and my fingers are almost
frostbitten.”
“Alack, mynheer,” quoth Claas, “I would, with
all my heart, but I have nothing wherewith to
warm myself and my children, unless I set fire to
my own house. I am sorry I cannot entertain thee
better.”
Upon this the little man broke the cane with
which he walked into two pieces, which he threw
in the chimney, and thereupon the fire began to
blaze so cheerfully that they could see their shadows
on the wall, and the old cat jumped out of the
ashes, with her coat well singed, which made the
little jolly fellow laugh heartily.
The sticks burnt and burnt, without going out,
and they were soon all as warm and comfortable
as could be. Then the little man said,
“Friend Claas, methinks it would not be much
amiss if the good vrouw here would bestir herself
to get something to eat. I have had no dinner to-day,
and come hither on purpose to make merry
with thee. Knowest thou not that this is Newyear's
eve?”
“Alack!” replied Claas, “I know it full well;
but we have not wherewithal to keep away hunger,
much less to make merry with. Thou art welcome
to all we have, and that is nothing.”
“Come, come, Friend Claas, thou art a prudent
man, I know, but I never thought thou wert stingy
before. Bestir thyself, good Aintjie, and see what
thou canst find in that cupboard. I warrant there
is plenty of good fare in it.”
The worthy yffrouw looked rather foolish at this
proposal, for she knew she would find nothing
there if she went; but the little man threatened her,
in a good-humoured way, to break the long pipe he
carried stuck in his cocked hat, over her nightcap,
if she didn't do as he bid her. So she went to the
cupboard, resolved to bring him out the empty pewter
dishes, to show they had nothing to give him.
But when she opened the cupboard, she started
back, and cried out aloud, so that Claas ran to see
what was the matter; and what was his astonishment
to find the cupboard full of all sorts of good
things for a notable jollification.
“Aha!” cried the merry little man, “you're
caught at last. I knew thou hadst plenty to entertain
a stranger withal; but I suppose thou
wantedst to keep it all to thyself. Come, come!
bestir thyself, Aintjie, for I am as hungry as a
schoolboy.”
Aintjie did as she was bid, wondering all the
time who this familiar little man could be; for the
city was not so big, but that she knew by sight
everybody that lived in it, and she was sure she
had never seen him before.
In a short time there was a glorious array of
good things set out before them, and they proceeded
to enjoy themselves right lustily in keeping of
the merry Newyear's eve. The little man cracked
his jokes, patted little Nicholas—Claas, his youngest
son, who was called after his father—on the
head; chucked Aintjie under the chin; said he was
glad she did not wed the splutterkin Barendt Roeloffsen,
and set them so good an example, that they
all got as merry as crickets.
By-and-by the little man inquired of Claas concerning
his affairs, and he gave him an account of
his early prosperity, and how he had declined, in
spite of all he could do, into poverty and want; so
that he had nothing left but his wife, his children,
his Dutch Bible, his history of the Low Country
wars, and his meershaum pipe.
“Aha!” quoth the little man, “you've kept that,
hey! Let me see it.”
Claas gave it to him, while the tears came into
is eyes, although he was so merry, to think that
he must part with it on the morrow. It was the
pride of his heart, and he set too great a value on
it to make any use of it whatever.
The little man took the pipe, and looking at it,
said, as if to himself,
“Yes; here it is! the very identical meershaum
out of which the great Calvin used to smoke. Thou
hast done well, Friend Claas, to preserve it; and
thou must keep it as the apple of thine eye all thy
life, and give it as an inheritance to thy children.”
“Alack!” cried Aintjie, “he must sell it to-morrow,
or we shall want wherewithal for a dinner.”
“Yea,” said Claas, “of a truth it must go to-morrow!”
“Be quiet, splutterkin!” cried the little man,
merrily; “give me some more of that spiced beverage,
for I am as thirsty as a dry sponge. Come,
let us drink to the Newyear, for it will be here in
a few minutes.”
So they drank a cup to the jolly Newyear, and
at that moment the little boys and negroes, who
didn't mind the snow any more than a miller does
flour, began to fire their cannon at a great rate;
whereupon the little man jumped up, and cried
out,
“My time is come! I must be off, for I have a
great many visits to pay before sunrise.”
Then he kissed the yffrouw with a hearty smack,
just as doth the illustrious Rip Van Dam, on the
like occasions; patted little Nicholas on the head,
and gave him his blessing; after which he did incontinently
leap up the chimney and disappear.
Then they knew it was the good St. Nicholas, and
rejoiced mightily in the visit he had paid them,
looking upon it as an earnest that their troubles
were over.
The next morning the prudent housewife, according
to custom, got up before the dawn of day
to put her house in order, and when she came to
sweep the floor, was surprised to hear something
jingle just like money. Then opening the embers,
the sticks which the good saint had thrown upon
the fire again blazed out, and she descried a large
purse, which, on examination, was found filled with
golden ducats. Whereupon she called out to
Claas, and they examined the purse, and found
fastened to it a paper bearing this legend:—
“THE GIFT OF SAINT NICHOLAS.”
While they stood in joyful wonder, they heard a
great knocking and confusion of tongues outside
the door, and the people calling aloud upon Claas
Schlaschenschlinger to come forth; whereupon he
went forth, and, to his great astonishment, found
that his little wooden house had disappeared in
the night, and in its place was standing a gorgeous
and magnificent mansion of Dutch bricks, two stories
high, with three windows in front, all of a different
size; and a door cut right out of the corner,
just as it is seen at this blessed day.
The neighbours wondered much, and it was
whispered among them, that the fiend had helped
Claas to this great domicil, which was one of the
biggest in the city, and almost equal to that of Barendt
Roeloffsen. But when Claas told them of
the visit of St. Nicholas, and showed them the
purse of golden ducats, with the legend upon it,
they thought better of it, and contented themselves
with envying him heartily his good fortune.
I shall not relate how Claas prospered ever afterwards,
in spite of his enemies the burgomasters,
who, at last, were obliged to admit him as one of
their number; or how little Aintjie held up her
head among the highest; or how Claas ever after
eschewed the lapstone, and, like a worshipful magistrate,
took to bettering the condition of mankind,
till at length he died, and was gathered to his forefathers,
full of years and honours.
All I shall say is, that the great house in New street
continued in the family for several generations,
until a degenerate descendant of Claas, being
thereunto incited by the d—l, did sell it to another
degenerate splutterkin, who essayed to pull it
down. But mark what followed. No sooner had
the workmen laid hands on it, than the brickbats
began to fly about at such a rate, that they all came
away faster than they went; some with broke
heads, and others with broken bones, and not one
could ever be persuaded to meddle with it afterwards.
And let this be a warning to any one who shall
attempt to lay their sacrilegious hands on the LAST
OF THE DUTCH HOUSES, the gift of St. Nicholas,
for whoever does so, may calculate, to a certainty
on getting well peppered with brickbats, I can tell
them.
THE REVENGE OF SAINT NICHOLAS. A TALE FOR THE HOLYDAYS.
Everybody knows that in the famous city of
New-York, whose proper name is New-Amsterdam,
the excellent St. Nicholas—who is worth a
dozen St. Georges and dragons to boot, and who,
if every tub stood on its right bottom, would be at
the head of the Seven Champions of christendom—I
say, everybody knows the excellent St. Nicholas,
in holyday times, goes about among the people in
the middle of the night, distributing all sorts of
toothsome and becoming gifts to the good boys
and girls in this his favourite city. Some say that
he comes down the chimneys in a little Jersey
wagon; others, that he wears a pair of Holland
skates, with which he travels like the wind; and
others, who pretend to have seen him, maintain
that he has lately adopted a locomotive, and was
once actually detected on the _Albany_ railroad.
But this last assertion is looked upon to be entirely
fabulous, because St. Nicholas has too much discretion
to trust himself in such a newfangled jarvie;
and so I leave this matter to be settled by whomsoever
will take the trouble. My own opinion is,
that his favourite mode of travelling is on a canal,
the motion and speed of which aptly comport
with the philosophic dignity of his character. But
this is not material, and I will no longer detain my
readers with extraneous and irrelevant matters, as
is too much the fashion with our statesmen, orators,
biographers, and story tellers.
It was in the year one thousand seven hundred
and sixty, or sixty-one, for the most orthodox
chronicles differ in this respect; but it was a very
remarkable year, and it was called _annus mirabilis_
on that account. It was said that several people
were detected in speaking the truth about that
time; that nine staid, sober, and discreet widows,
who had sworn on an anti-masonic almanac never
to enter a second time into the holy state, were
snapped up by young husbands before they knew
what they were about; that six venerable bachelors
wedded as many buxom young belles, and, it is reported,
were afterwards sorry for what they had
done; that many people actually went to church,
from motives of piety; and that a great scholar,
who had written a book in support of certain
opinions, was not only convinced of his error,
but acknowledged it publicly afterwards. No
wonder the year one thousand seven hundred and
sixty, if that was the year, was called _annus mirabilis_!
What contributed to render this year still more
remarkable, was the building of six new three-story
brick houses in the city, and three persons setting
up equipages, who, I cannot find, ever failed in
business afterwards, or compounded with their
creditors at a pistareen in the pound. It is, moreover,
recorded in the annals of the horticultural society
of that day, which were written on a cabbage
leaf, as is said, that a member produced a forked
radish, of such vast dimensions, that being dressed
up in fashionable male attire at the exhibition, it
was actually mistaken for a travelled beau by several
inexperienced young ladies, who pined away
for love of its beautiful complexion, and were
changed into daffadowndillies. Some maintained
it was a mandrake, but it was finally detected by
an inquest of experienced matrons. No wonder
the year seventeen hundred and sixty was called
_annus mirabilis_!
But the most extraordinary thing of all, was the
confident assertion that there was but one _gray
mare_ within the bills of mortality; and, incredible
as it may appear, she was the wife of a responsible
citizen, who, it was affirmed, had grown rich by
weaving velvet purses out of sows' ears. But this
we look upon as being somewhat of the character
of the predictions of almanac makers. Certain
it is, however, that Amos Shuttle possessed the
treasure of a wife who was shrewdly suspected of
having established within doors a system of government
not laid down in Aristotle or the Abbe
Sièyes, who made a constitution for every day in
the year, and two for the first of April.
Amos Shuttle, though a mighty pompous little
man out of doors, was the meekest of human creatures
within. He belonged to that class of people
who pass for great among the little, and little
among the great; and he would certainly have
been master in his own house had it not been for a
woman! We have read somewhere that no wise
woman ever thinks her husband a demigod. If
so, it is a blessing that there are so few wise women
in the world.
Amos had grown rich, Heaven knows how—he
did net know himself; but, what was somewhat extraordinary,
he considered his wealth a signal proof
of his talents and sagacity, and valued himself according
to the infallible standard of pounds, shillings,
and pence. But though he lorded it without, he
was, as we have just said, the most gentle of men
within doors. The moment he stepped inside of
his own house, his spirit cowered down, like that
of a pious man entering a church; he felt as if he
was in the presence of a superior being—to wit,
Mrs. Abigail Shuttle. He was, indeed, the meekest
of beings at home, except Moses; and Sir Andrew
Aguecheek's song, which Sir Toby Belch declared
“would draw nine souls out of one weaver,”
would have failed in drawing half a one out of
Amos. The truth is, his wife, who ought to have
known, affirmed he had no more soul than a monkey;
but he was the only man in the city thus circumstanced
at the time we speak of. No wonder,
therefore, the year one thousand seven hundred and
sixty was called _annus mirabilis_!
Such as he was, Mr. Amos Shuttle waxed richer
and richer every day, insomuch that those who envied
his prosperity were wont to say, “that he had
certainly been born with a dozen silver spoons in
his mouth, or such a great blockhead would never
have got together such a heap of money.” When
he had become worth ten thousand pounds, he
launched his shuttle magnanimously out of the
window, ordered his weaver's beam to be split up
for oven wood, and Mrs. Amos turned his weaver's
shop into a _boudoir_. Fortune followed him faster
than he ran away from her. In a few years the
ten thousand doubled, and in a few more trebled,
quadrupled—in short, Amos could hardly count his
money.
“What shall we do now, my dear?” asked Mrs.
Shuttle, who never sought his opinion, that I can
learn, except for the pleasure of contradicting him.
“Let us go and live in the country, and enjoy
ourselves,” quoth Amos.
“Go into the country! go to—” I could never
satisfy myself what Mrs. Shuttle meant; but she
stopped short, and concluded the sentence with a
withering look of scorn, that would have cowed the
spirits of nineteen weavers.
Amos named all sorts of places, enumerated all
sorts of modes of life he could think of, and every
pleasure that might enter into the imagination of a
man without a soul. His wife despised them all;
she would not hear of them.
“Well, my dear, suppose you suggest something;
do now, Abby,” at length said Amos, in a
coaxing whisper; “will you, my onydoney?”
“Ony fiddlestick! I wonder you repeat such
vulgarisms. But if I must say what I should like,
I should like to travel.”
“Well, let us go and make a tour as far as Jamaica,
or Hackensack, or Spiking-devil. There is
excellent fishing for striped bass there.”
“Spiking-devil!” screamed Mrs. Shuttle; “an't
you ashamed to swear so, you wicked mortal! I
won't go to Jamaica, nor Hackensack among the
Dutch Hottentots, nor to Spiking-devil to catch
striped bass. I'll go to Europe!”
If Amos had possessed a soul it would have
jumped out of its skin at the idea of going beyond
seas. He had once been on the sea-bass banks,
and got a seasoning there; the very thought of which
made him sick. But, as he had no soul, there was
no great harm done.
When Mrs. Shuttle said a thing, it was settled.
They went to Europe, taking their only son with
them; the lady ransacked all the milliners' shops in
Paris, and the gentleman visited all the restaurateurs.
He became such a desperate connoisseur
and gourmand, that he could almost tell an _omelette
au jambon_ from a gammon of bacon. After consummating
the polish, they came home, the lady
with the newest old fashions, and the weaver with
a confirmed preference of _potage à la Turque_ over
pepper-pot. It is said the city trembled, as with an
earthquake, when they landed; but the notion was
probably superstitious.
They arrived near the close of the year, the memorable
year, the _annus mirabilis_, one thousand seven
hundred and sixty. Everybody that had ever known
the Shuttles flocked to see them, or rather to see
what they had brought with them; and such was
the magic of a voyage to Europe, that Mr. and Mrs.
Amos Shuttle, who had been nobodies when they
departed, became somebodies when they returned,
and mounted at once to the summit of _ton_.
“You have come in good time to enjoy the festivities
of the holydays,” said Mrs. Hubblebubble,
an old friend of Amos the weaver and his wife.
“We shall have a merry Christmas and a happy
Newyear,” exclaimed Mrs. Doubletrouble, another
old acquaintance of old times.
“The holydays,” drawled Mrs. Shuttle; “the
holydays? Christmas and Newyear? Pray what
are they?”
It is astonishing to see how people lose their
memories abroad sometimes. They often forget
their old friends, old customs, and occasionally
themselves.
“Why, la! now, who'd have thought it?” cried
Mrs. Doubletrouble; “why, sure you haven't forgot
the oily cooks and the mince pies, the merry meetings
of friends, the sleigh-rides, the Kissing Bridge,
and the family parties?”
“Family parties!” shrieked Mrs. Shuttle, and
held her salts to her nose; “family parties! I never
heard of anything so Gothic in Paris or Rome; and
oily cooks—oh shocking! and mince pies—detestable!
and throwing open one's doors to all one's
old friends, whom one wishes to forget as soon as
possible. Oh! the idea is insupportable!” and again
she held the salts to her nose.
Mrs. Hubblebubble and Mrs. Doubletrouble found
they had exposed themselves sadly, and were quite
ashamed. A real, genteel, well-bred, enlightened
lady of fashion ought to have no rule of conduct—no
conscience, but Paris—whatever is fashionable
there is genteel—whatever is not fashionable is
vulgar. There is no other standard of right, and
no other eternal fitness of things. At least so thought
Mrs. Hubblebubble and Mrs. Doubletrouble.
“But is it possible that all these things are out
of fashion abroad?” asked the latter, beseechingly.
“They never were in,” said Mrs. Amos Shuttle.
“For my part, I mean to close my doors and windows
on Newyear's day—I'm determined.”
“And so am I,” said Mrs. Hubblebubble.
“And so am I,” said Mrs. Doubletrouble.
And it was settled that they should make a combination
among themselves and their friends, to put
down the ancient and good customs of the city, and
abolish the sports and enjoyments of the jolly Newyear.
The conspirators then separated, each to
pursue her diabolical designs against oily cooks,
mince pies, sleigh ridings, sociable visitings, and
family parties.
Now the excellent St. Nicholas, who knows well
what is going on in every house in the city, though,
like a good and honourable saint, he never betrays
any family secrets, overheard these wicked women
plotting against his favourite anniversary, and he
said to himself,
“_Vuur en Vlammen!_ but I'll be even with you,
_mein vrouw_.” So he determined he would play
these conceited and misled women a trick or two
before he had done with them.
It was now the first day of the new year, and
Mrs. Amos Shuttle, and Mrs. Doubletrouble, and
Mrs. Hubblebubble, and all their wicked abetters,
had shut up their doors and windows, so that when
their old friends called they could not get into their
houses. Moreover, they had prepared neither mince
pies, nor oily cooks, nor crullers, nor any of the
good things consecrated to St. Nicholas by his pious
and well-intentioned votaries, and they were mightily
pleased at having been as dull and stupid as
owls, while all the rest of the city were as merry
as crickets, chirping and frisking in the warm chimney
corner. Little did they think what horrible
judgments were impending over them, prepared by
the wrath of the excellent St. Nicholas, who was
resolved to make an example of them for attempting
to introduce their newfangled corruptions in place
of the ancient customs of his favourite city. These
wicked women never had another comfortable sleep
in their lives!
The night was still, clear, and frosty—the earth
was everywhere one carpet of snow, and looked
just like the ghost of a dead world, wrapped in a
white winding sheet; the moon was full, round, and
of a silvery brightness, and by her discreet silence
afforded an example to the rising generation of
young damsels, while the myriads of stars that multiplied
as you gazed at them, seemed as though they
were frozen into icicles, they looked so cold, and
sparkled with such a glorious lustre. The streets
and roads leading from the city were all alive with
sleighs, filled with jovial souls, whose echoing
laughter and cheerful songs, mingled with a thousand
merry bells, that jingled in harmonious dissonance,
giving spirit to the horses and animation to
the scene. In the license of the season, hallowed
by long custom, each of the sleighs saluted the
others in passing with a “Happy Newyear,” a
merry jest, or mischievous gibe, exchanged from
one gay party to another. All was life, motion, and
merriment; and as old frostbitten Winter, aroused
from his trance by the rout and revelry around,
raised his weatherbeaten head to see what was
passing, he felt his icy blood warming and coursing
through his veins, and wished he could only overtake
the laughing buxom Spring, that he might dance
a jig with her, and be as frisky as the best of them.
But as the old rogue could not bring this desirable
matter about, he contented himself with calling for
a jolly bumper of cocktail, and drinking a swinging
draught to the health of the blessed St. Nicholas,
and those who honour the memory of the president
of good fellows.
All this time the wicked women and their abetters
lay under the malediction of the good saint, who
caused them to be bewitched by an old lady from
Salem. Mrs. Amos Shuttle could not sleep, because
something had whispered in her apprehensive
ear, that her son, her only son, whom she had engaged
to the daughter of Count Grenouille, in Paris,
then about three years old, was actually at that moment
crossing Kissing Bridge, in company with little
Susan Varian, and some others besides. Now
Susan was the fairest little lady of all the land; she
had a face and an eye just like the Widow Wadman,
in Leslie's charming picture; a face and an
eye which no reasonable man under Heaven could
resist, except my Uncle Toby—beshrew him and
his fortifications, I say! She was, moreover, a good
little girl, and an accomplished little girl—but, alas!
she had not mounted to the step in Jacob's ladder
of fashion, which qualifies a person for the heaven
of high ton, and Mrs. Shuttle had not been to Europe
for nothing. She would rather have seen her son
wedded to dissipation and profligacy than to Susan
Varian; and the thought of his being out sleigh-riding
with her, was worse than the toothache. It
kept her awake all the livelong night; and the only
consolation she had was scolding poor Amos, because
the sleigh bells made such a noise.
As for Mrs. Hubblebubble and Mrs. Doubletrouble,
they neither of them got a wink of sleep
during a whole week, for thinking of the beautiful
French chairs and damask curtains Mrs. Shuttle had
brought from Europe. They forthwith besieged
their good men, leaving them no rest until they sent
out orders to Paris for just such rich chairs and curtains
as those of the thrice happy Mrs. Shuttle,
from whom they kept the affair a profound secret,
each meaning to treat her to an agreeable surprise.
In the mean while they could not rest for fear the
vessel which was to bring these treasures might be
lost on her passage. Such was the dreadful judgment
inflicted on them by the good St. Nicholas.
The perplexities of Mrs. Shuttle increased daily.
In the first place, do all she could, she could not
make Amos a fine gentleman. This was a metamorphosis
which Ovid would never have dreamed
of. He would be telling the price of everything in
his house, his furniture, his wines, and his dinners,
insomuch that those who envied his prosperity, or,
perhaps, only despised his pretensions, were wont
to say, after eating his venison and drinking his
old Madeira, “that he ought to have been a tavern
keeper, he knew so well how to make out a bill.”
Mrs. Shuttle once overheard a speech of this kind,
and the good St. Nicholas himself, who had brought
it about, almost felt sorry for the mortification she
endured on the occasion.
Scarcely had she got over this, when she was
invited to a ball, by Mrs. Hubblebubble, and the
first thing she saw on entering the drawing room,
was a suit of damask curtains and chairs, as much
like her own as two peas, only the curtains had far
handsomer fringe. Mrs. Shuttle came very near
fainting away, but escaped for that time, determining
to mortify this impudent creature, by taking not
the least notice of her finery. But St. Nicholas
ordered it otherwise, so that she was at last obliged
to acknowledge they were very elegant indeed.
Nay, this was not the worst, for she overheard one
lady whisper to another, that Mrs. Hubblebubble's
curtains were much richer than Mrs. Shuttle's.
“Oh, I dare say,” replied the other—”I dare say
Mrs. Shuttle bought them second hand, for her husband
is as mean as pursley.
This was too much. The unfortunate woman
was taken suddenly ill—called her carriage, and
went home, where it is supposed she would have
died that evening had she not wrought upon Amos
to promise her an entire new suit of French furniture
for her drawing room and parlour to boot, besides
a new carriage. But for all this she could
not close her eyes that night for thinking of the
“second-hand curtains.”
Nor was the wicked Mrs. Doubletrouble a whit
better off, when her friend Mrs. Hubblebubble
treated her to the agreeable surprise of the French
window curtains and chairs. “It is too bad—too
bad, I declare,” said she to herself; “but I'll pay
her off soon.” Accordingly she issued invitations
for a grand ball and supper, at which both Mrs.
Shuttle and Mrs. Hubblebubble were struck dumb
at beholding a suit of curtains and a set of chairs
exactly of the same pattern with theirs. The shock
was terrible, and it is impossible to say what might
have been the consequences, had not the two ladies
all at once thought of uniting in abusing Mrs. Doubletrouble
for her extravagance.
“I pity poor Mr. Doubletrouble,” said Mrs.
Shuttle, shrugging her shoulders significantly, and
glancing at the room.
“And so do I,” said Mrs. Hubblebubble, doing
the same.
Mrs. Doubletrouble had her eye upon them, and
enjoyed their mortification until her pride was
brought to the ground by a dead shot from Mrs.
Shuttle, who was heard to exclaim, in reply to a
lady who observed the chairs and curtains were
very handsome,
“Why, yes; but they have been out of fashion
in Paris a long time; and, besides, really they are
getting so common, that I intend to have mine removed
to the nursery.”
Heavens! what a blow! Poor Mrs. Doubletrouble
hardly survived it. Such a night of misery
as the wicked woman endured almost made the
good St. Nicholas regret the judgment he had
passed upon these mischievous and conceited females.
But he thought to himself he would persevere
until he had made them a sad example to
all innovators upon the ancient customs of our forefathers.
Thus were these wicked and miserable women
spurred on by witchcraft from one piece of extravagance
to another, and a deadly rivalship grew up
between them, which destroyed their own happiness
and that of their husbands. Mrs. Shuttle's
new carriage and drawing-room furniture in due
time were followed by similar extravagances on the
part of the two other wicked women, who had conspired
against the hallowed institutions of St. Nicholas;
and soon their rivalship came to such a height
that neither of them had a moment's rest or comfort
from that time forward. But they still shut
their doors on the jolly anniversary of St. Nicholas,
though the old respectable burghers and their
wives, who had held up their heads time out of
mind, continued the good custom, and laughed at
the presumption of these upstart interlopers, who
were followed only by a few people of silly pretensions,
who had no more soul than Amos Shuttle
himself. The three wicked women grew to be
almost perfect skeletons, on account of the vehemence
with which they strove to outdo each other,
and the terrible exertions necessary to keep up the
appearance of being the best friends in the world.
In short, they became the laughingstock of the
town; and sensible, well-bred folks cut their acquaintance,
except when they sometimes accepted
an invitation to a party, just to make merry with
their folly and conceitedness.
The excellent St. Nicholas, finding they still
persisted in their opposition to his rites and ceremonies,
determined to inflict on them the last and
worst punishment that can befall the sex. He decreed
that they should be deprived of all the delights
springing from the domestic affections, and
all taste for the innocent and virtuous enjoyments
of a happy fireside. Accordingly, they lost all
relish for home; were continually gadding about
from one place to another in search of pleasure,
and worried themselves to death to find happiness
where it is never to be found. Their whole lives
became one long series of disappointed hopes,
galled pride, and gnawing envy. They lost their
health, they lost their time, and their days became
days of harassing impatience, their nights nights
of sleepless, feverish excitement, ending in weariness
and disappointment. The good saint sometimes
felt sorry for them, but their continued obstinacy
determined him to persevere in his plan to
punish the upstart pride of these rebellious females.
Young Shuttle, who had a soul, which I suppose
he inherited from his mother, all this while continued
his attentions to little Susan Varian, which
added to the miseries inflicted on his wicked mother.
Mrs. Shuttle insisted that Amos should
threaten to disinherit his son, unless he gave up
this attachment.
“Lord bless your soul, Abby,” said Amos,
“what's the use of my threatening, the boy knows
as well as I do that I've no will of my own. Why,
bless my soul, Abby—”
“Bless your soul!” interrupted Mrs. Shuttle;
“I wonder who'd take the trouble to bless it but
yourself? However, if you don't I will.”
Accordingly, she threatened the young man
with being disinherited unless he turned his back
on little Susan Varian, which no man ever did
without getting a heartache.
“If my father goes on as he has done lately,”
sighed the youth, “he won't have anything left to
disinherit me of but his affection, I fear. But if he
had millions I would not abandon Susan.”
Are you not ashamed of such a lowlived attachment?
You, that have been to Europe! But,
once for all, remember this, renounce this lowborn
upstart, or quit your father's home for ever.”
“Upstart!” thought young Shuttle; “one of the
oldest families in the city.” He made his mother
a respectful bow, bade Heaven bless her, and left
the house. He was, however, met by his father
at the door, who said to him,
“Johnny, I give my consent; but mind, don't
tell your mother a word of the matter. I'll let her
know I've a soul as well as other people;” and he
tossed his head like a war horse.
The night after this Johnny was married to little
Susan, and the blessing of affection and beauty
lighted upon his pillow. Her old father, who was
in a respectable business, took his son-in-law into
partnership, and they prospered so well that in a
few years Johnny was independent of all the world,
with the prettiest wife and children in the land.
But Mrs. Shuttle was inexorable, while the knowledge
of his prosperity and happiness only worked
her up to a higher pitch of anger, and added to the
pangs of jealousy perpetually inflicted on her by
the rivalry of Mrs. Hubblebubble and Mrs. Doubletrouble,
who suffered under the like infliction from
the wrathful St. Nicholas, who was resolved to
make them an example to all posterity.
No fortune, be it ever so great, can stand the
eternal sapping of wasteful extravagance, engendered
and stimulated by the baleful passion of envy.
In less than ten years from the hatching of the diabolical
conspiracy of these three wicked women
against the supremacy of the excellent St. Nicholas,
their spendthrift rivalship had ruined the fortunes
of their husbands, and entailed upon themselves
misery and remorse. Rich Amos Shuttle
became at last as poor as a church mouse, and,
would have been obliged to take to the loom again
in his old age, had not Johnny, now rich, and a
worshipful magistrate of the city, afforded him and
his better half a generous shelter under his own
happy roof. Mrs. Hubblebubble and Mrs. Doubletrouble
had scarcely time to condole with Mrs.
Shuttle, and congratulate each other, when their
husbands went the way of all flesh, that is to say,
failed for a few tens of thousands, and called their
creditors together to hear the good news. The
two wicked women lived long enough after this to
repent of their offence against St. Nicholas; but
they never imported any more French curtains, and
at last perished miserably in an attempt to set the
fashions in Pennypot alley.
Mrs. Abigail Shuttle might have lived happily
the rest of her life with her children and grandchildren,
who all treated her with reverent courtesy
and affection, now that the wrath of the mighty St.
Nicholas was appeased by her exemplary punishment.
But she could not get over her bad habits
and feelings, or forgive her lovely little daughter-in-law
for treating her so kindly when she so little
deserved it. She gradually pined away; and
though she revived at hearing of the catastrophe of
Mrs. Hubblebubble and Mrs. Doubletrouble, it was
only for a moment. The remainder of the life of
this wicked woman was a series of disappointments
and heartburnings, and when she died, Amos
tried to shed a few tears, but he found it impossible,
I suppose, because, as his wife always said,
“he had no soul.”
Such was the terrible revenge of St. Nicholas,
which ought to be a warning to all who attempt to
set themselves up against the venerable customs
of their ancestors, and backslide from the hallowed
institutions of the blessed saint, to whose good
offices, without doubt, it is owing that this his favourite
city has transcended all others of the universe
in beautiful damsels, valorous young men,
mince pies, and Newyear cookies. The catastrophe
of these three wicked women had a wonderful
influence in the city, insomuch that from this time
forward, no _gray mares_ were ever known, no
French furniture was ever used, and no woman was
hardy enough to set herself up in opposition to the
good customs of St. Nicholas. And so, wishing
many happy Newyears to all my dear countrywomen
and countrymen, saving those who shut their
doors to old friends, high or low, rich or poor, on
that blessed anniversary, which makes more glad
hearts than all others put together—I say, wishing
a thousand happy Newyears to all, with this single
exception, I lay down my pen, with a caution to
all wicked women to beware of the revenge of St.
Nicholas.
THE ORIGIN of THE BAKERS' DOZEN.
Little Brom Boomptie, or Boss Boomptie, as
he was commonly called by his apprentices and
neighbours, was the first man that ever baked Newyear
cakes in the good city of New-Amsterdam.
It is generally supposed that he was the inventor
of those excellent and respectable articles. However
this may be, he lived and prospered in the little
Dutch house in William-street, called, time out
of mind, Knickerbocker Hall, just at the outskirts
of the good town of New-Amsterdam.
Boomptie was a fat comfortable creature, with a
capital pair of oldfashioned legs; a full, round,
good-natured face; a corporation like unto one of
his plump loaves; and as much honesty as a
Turkish baker, who lives in the fear of having his
ears nailed to his own door for retailing bad bread.
He wore a low-crowned, broad-brimmed beaver;
a gray bearskin cloth coat, waistcoat, and breeches,
and gray woollen stockings, summer and winter, all
the year round. The only language he spoke, understood,
or had the least respect for, was Dutch—
and the only books he ever read or owned, were a
Dutch Bible, with silver clasps and hinges, and a
Dutch history of the Duke of Alva's bloody wars
in the Low Countries. Boss Boomptie was a pious
man, of simple habits and simple character; a believer
in “demonology and witchcraft;” and as
much afraid of _spooks_ as the mother that bore him.
It ran in the family to be bewitched, and for three
generations the Boompties had been very much
pestered with supernatural visitations. But for all
this they continued to prosper in the world, insomuch
that Boss Boomptie daily added a piece of
wampum or two to his strong box. He was
blessed with a good wife, who saved the very parings
of her nails, and three plump boys, after whom he
modelled his gingerbread babies, and who were
every Sunday zealously instructed never to pass a
pin without picking it up and bringing it home to
their mother.
It was on Newyear's eve, in the year 1655, and
the good city of New-Amsterdam, then under the
special patronage of the blessed St. Nicholas, was
as jovial and wanton as hot spiced rum and long
abstinence from fun and frolic could make it. It
is worth while to live soberly and mind our business
all the rest of the year, if it be only to enjoy the
holydays at the end with a true zest. St. Nicholas,
thrice blessed soul! was riding up one chimney
and down another like a locomotive engine in his
little one-horse wagon, distributing cakes to the good
boys, and whips to the bad ones; and the laugh of
the good city, which had been pent up all the year,
now burst forth with an explosion that echoed even
unto Breuckelen and Communipaw.
Boss Boomptie, who never forgot the main
chance, and knew from experience that Newyear's
eve was a shrewd time for selling cakes, joined
profit and pleasure on this occasion. He was one
minute in his shop, dealing out cakes to his customers,
and the next laughing, and tippling, and jigging,
and frisking it with his wife and children in
the little back room, the door of which had a pane
of glass that commanded a full view of the shop.
Nobody, that is, no genuine disciple of jolly St.
Nicholas, ever went to bed till twelve o'clock on
Newyear's eve. The Dutch are eminently a sober,
discreet folk; but somehow or other, no people
frolic so like the very dickens, when they are once
let loose, as your very sober and discreet bodies.
By twelve o'clock the spicy beverage, sacred to
holydays at that time, began to mount up into Boss
Boomptie's head, and he was vociferating a Dutch
ditty in praise of St. Nicholas with marvellous discordance,
when just as the old clock in one corner
of the room struck the hour that ushers in the new
year, a loud knock was heard on the counter, which
roused the dormant spirit of trade within his bosom.
He went into the shop, where he found a
little ugly old thing of a woman, with a sharp chin,
resting on a crooked black stick, which had been
burned in the fire and then polished; two high sharp
cheek bones; two sharp black eyes; skinny lips,
and a most diabolical pair of leather spectacles on
a nose ten times sharper than her chin.
“I want a dozen Newyear cookies,” screamed
she, in a voice sharper than her nose.
“Vel, den, you needn't sbeak so loud,” replied
Boss Boomptie, whose ear being just then attuned
to the melody of his own song, was somewhat outraged
by this shrill salutation.
“I want a dozen Newyear cookies,” screamed
she again, ten times louder and shriller than ever.
“Duyvel—I an't teaf den,” grumbled the worthy
man, as he proceeded to count out the cakes, which
the other very deliberately counted after him.
“I want a dozen,” screamed the little woman;
“here is only twelve.”
“Vel, den, and what de duyvel is dwalf but a
dozen?” said Boomptie.
“I tell you I want one more,” screamed she, in a
voice that roused Mrs. Boomptie in the back room,
who came and peeped through the pane of glass,
as she often did when she heard the boss talking to
the ladies.
Boss Boomptie waxed wroth, for he had a reasonable
quantity of hot spiced rum in his noddle,
which predisposes a man to valour.
“Vel, den,” said he, “you may co to de duyvel
and get anoder, for you won't get it here.”
Boomptie was not a stingy man; on the contrary,
he was very generous to the pretty young
damsels who came to buy cakes, and often gave
them two or three extra for a smack, which made
Mrs. Boomptie peevish sometimes, and caused her
to watch at the little pane of glass when she ought
to have been minding her business like an honest
woman.
But this old hag was as ugly as sin, and the little
baker never in his whole life could find in his heart
to be generous to an ugly woman, old or young.
“In my country they always give thirteen to the
dozen,” screamed the ugly woman in the leather
spectacles.
“And where de duyvel is your gountry?” asked
Boomptie.
“It is nobody's business,” screeched the old woman.
“But will you give me another cake, once
for all?”
“Not if it would save me and all my chineration
from peing pewitched and pedemonologized dime
out of mind,” cried he, in a great passion.
What put it into his head to talk in this way I
don't know, but he might better have held his
tongue. The old woman gave him three stivers
for his cakes, and went away, grumbling something
about “living to repent it,” which Boss Boomptie
didn't understand or care a fig about. He was
chock full of Dutch courage, and defied all the ugly
old women in Christendom. He put his three stivers
in the till and shut up his shop, determined to enjoy
the rest of the night without further molestation.
While he was sitting smoking his pipe, and now
and then sipping his beverage, all at once he heard
a terrible jingling of money in his shop, whereupon
he thought some losel caitiff was busy with his little
till. Accordingly, priming himself with another
reinforcement of Dutch courage, he took a pine
knot, for he was too economical to burn candles at
that late hour, and proceeded to investigate. His
money was all safe, and the till appeared not to
have been disturbed.
“Duyvel,” quoth the little baker man, “I pelieve
mine _vrouw_ and I have bote cot a zinging in
our heads.”
He had hardly turned his back when the same
jingling began again, so much to the surprise of
Boss Boomptie, that had it not been for his invincible
Dutch courage, he would, as it were, have
been a little frightened. But he was not in the
least; and again went and unlocked the till, when
what was his astonishment to see the three diabolical
stivers, received from the old woman, dancing,
and kicking up a dust among the coppers and wampum
with wonderful agility.
“_Wat donder is dat!_” exclaimed he, sorely perplexed;
“de old duyvel has cot indo dat old sinner's
stivers, I dink.” He had a great mind to
throw them away, but he thought it a pity to waste
so much money; so he kept them locked up all
night, enjoining them to good behaviour, with a design
to spend them the next day in another jollification.
But the next day they were gone, and so
was the broomstick with which it was the custom
to sweep out the shop every morning. Some of
the neighbours coming home late the night before,
on being informed of the “abduction” of the broomstick,
deposed and said, they had seen an old woman
riding through the air upon just such another,
right over the top of the little bakehouse; whereat
Boss Boomptie, putting these odds and ends together,
did tremble in his heart, and he wished to
himself that he had given the ugly old woman thirteen
to the dozen.
Nothing particular came to pass the next day,
except that now and then the little Boompties complained
of having pins stuck in their backs, and that
their cookies were snatched away by some one unknown.
On examination it was found that no
marks of the pins were to be seen; and as to the
cookies, the old black woman of the kitchen declared
she saw an invisible hand just as one of the
children lost his commodity.
“Den I am pewitched, zure enough!” cried
Boomptie, in despair, for he had had too much of
“demonology and witchcraft” in the family not to
know when he saw them, just as well as he did his
own face in the Collect.
On the second day of the year, the 'prentice boys
all returned to their business, and Boomptie once
more solaced himself with the baking of the staff of
life. The reader must know that it is the custom of
bakers to knead a great batch at a time, in a mighty
bread tray, into which they throw two or three little
apprentice boys to paddle about, like ducks in a
mill pond, whereby it is speedily amalgamated, and
set to rising in due time. When the little caitiffs
began their gambols in this matter they one and all
stuck fast in the dough, as though it had been so
much pitch, and, to the utter dismay of honest
Boomptie, behold the whole batch rose up in a
mighty mass, with the boys sticking fast on the
top of it!
“_Wat blikslager!_” exclaimed little Boomptie,
as he witnessed this catastrophe; “de duyvel ish
cot into de yeast dis dime, I dink.”
The bread continued to rise till it lifted the roof
off the bakehouse, with the little 'prentice boys on
the top, and the bread tray following after. Boss
Boomptie and his wife watched this wonderful rising
of the bread in dismay, and in proof of the
poor woman's being bewitched, it was afterwards
recollected that she uttered not a single word on
this extraordinary occasion. The bread rose and
rose, until it finally disappeared, boys and all, behind
the Jersey hills. If such things had been
known of at that time, it would have been taken
for a balloon; as it was, the people of Bergen and
Communipaw thought that it was a water spout.
Little Boss Boomptie was disconsolate at the
loss of his bread and his 'prentice boys, whom he
never expected to see again. However, he was a
stirring body, and set himself to work to prepare
another batch, seeing his customers must be supplied
in spite of “witchcraft or demonology.” To
guard against such another rebellious rising, he determined
to go through the process down in the cellar,
and turn his bread tray upside down. The
bread, instead of rising, began to sink into the earth
so fast, that Boss Boomptie had just time to jump
off before it entirely disappeared in the ground,
which opened and shut just like a snuffbox.
“Wat blikslager is dat!” exclaimed he, out
of breath; “my pread rises downward dis dime, I
dink. My customers must go widout to-day.”
By-and-by his customers came for hot rolls and
muffins, but some of them had gone up and some
down, as little Boss Boomptie related after the
manner just described. What is very remarkable,
nobody believed him; and doubtless, if there had
been any rival baker in New-Amsterdam, the boss
would have lost all his customers. Among those
that called on this occasion, was the ugly old woman
with the sharp eyes, nose, chin, voice, and
leather spectacles.
“I want a dozen Newyear cookies!” screamed
she, as before.
“Vuur en vlammen!” muttered he, as he counted
out the twelve cakes.
“I want one more!” screamed she.
“Den you may co to de duyvel and kit it, I say,
for not anoder shall you haf here, I dell you.”
So the old woman took her twelve cakes, and
went out grumbling, as before. All the time she
staid, Boomptie's old dog, who followed him wherever
he went, growled and whined, as it were, to
himself, and seemed mightily relieved when she
went away. That very night, as the little baker
was going to see one of his old neighbours at the
_Maiden's Valley_, then a little way out of town
walking, as he always did, with his hands behind
him, every now and then he felt something as cold
as death against them, which he could never account
for, seeing there was not a soul with him but
his old dog. Moreover, Mrs. Boomptie, having
bought half a pound of tea at a grocery store, and
put it into her pocket, did feel a twitching and jerking
of the paper of tea in her pocket, every step she
went. The faster she ran the quicker and stronger
was the twitching and jerking, so that when the
good woman got home she was nigh fainting away.
On her recovery she took courage, and pulled the
tea out of her pocket, and laid it on the table, when
behold it began to move by fits and starts, jumped
off the table, hopped out of doors, all alone by itself,
and jigged away to the place from whence it
came. The grocer brought it back again, but Madam
Boomptie looked upon the whole as a judgment
for her extravagance, in laying out so much money
for tea, and refused to receive it again. The grocer
assured her that the strange capers of the bundle
were owing to his having forgot to cut the twine
with which he had tied it; but the good woman
looked upon this as an ingenious subterfuge, and
would take nothing but her money. When the
husband and wife came to compare notes, they both
agreed they were certainly bewitched. Had there
been any doubt of the matter, subsequent events
would soon have put it to rest.
That very night Mrs. Boomptie was taken after
a strange way. Sometimes she would laugh
about nothing, and then she would cry about nothing;
then she would set to work and talk about
nothing for a whole hour without stopping, in a language
nobody could understand; and then, all at
once, her tongue would cleave to the roof of her
mouth, so that it was impossible to force it away.
When this fit was over she would get up and dance
double trouble, till she tired herself out, when she
fell asleep, and waked up quite rational. It was
particularly noticed that when she talked loudest
and fastest, her lips remained perfectly closed, without
motion, and her mouth wide open, so that the
words seemed to come from down her throat. Her
principal talk was railing against Dominie Laidlie,
the good pastor of Garden-street Church, whence
everybody concluded that she was possessed by a
devil. Sometimes she got hold of a pen, and
though she had never learned to write, would
scratch and scrawl certain mysterious and diabolical
figures, that nobody could understand, and
everybody said must mean something.
As for little Boss Boomptie, he was worse off than
his wife. He was haunted by an invisible hand,
which played him all sorts of scurvy tricks. Standing
one morning at his counter, talking to one of
the neighbours, he received a great box on the ear,
whereat being exceeding wroth, he returned it with
such interest on the cheek of his neighbour, that he
laid him flat on the floor. His friend hereupon
took the law of him, and proved, to the satisfaction
of the court, that he had both hands in his breeches
pockets at the time Boss Boomptie said he gave
him the box on the ear. The magistrate not being
able to come at the truth of the matter, fined them
each twenty-five guilders for the use of the dominie.
A dried codfish was one day thrown at his head,
and the next minute his walking stick fell to beating
him, though nobody seemed to have hold of it
A chair danced about the room, and at last alighted
on the dinner table, and began to eat with such a
good appetite, that had not the children snatched
some of the dinner away, there would have been
none left. The old cow one night jumped over the
moon, and a pewter dish ran fairly off with a horn
spoon, which seized a cat by the tail, and away they
all went together, as merry as crickets. Sometimes,
when Boss Boomptie had money, or cakes,
or perhaps a loaf of bread in his hand, instead of
putting them in their proper places, he would throw
them into the fire, in spite of his teeth, and then
the invisible hand would beat him with a bag of
flour, till he was as white as a miller. As for keeping
his accounts, that was out of the question;
whenever he sat himself down to write his ink horn
was snatched away by the invisible hand, and by-and-by
it would come tumbling down the chimney.
Sometimes an old dishcloth would be pinned to
the skirt of his coat, and then a great diabolical
laugh heard under the floor. At night he had a
pretty time of it. His nightcap was torn off his
head, his hair pulled out by handfuls, his face
scratched, and his ears pinched as if with a red-hot
pincers. If he went out in the yard at night, he
was pelted with brickbats, sticks, stones, and all
sorts of filthy missives; and if he staid at home, the
ashes were blown upon his supper; and old shoes,
instead of plates, seen on the table. One of the
frying pans rang every night of itself for a whole
hour, and a three-pronged fork stuck itself voluntarily
into Boss Boomptie's back, without hurting
him in the least. But what astonished the neighbours
more than all, the little man, all at once, took
to speaking in a barbarous and unknown jargon,
which was afterwards found out to be English.
These matters frightened some of the neighbours
and scandalized others, until at length poor Boomptie's
shop was almost deserted. People were jealous
of eating his bread, for fear of being bewitched.
Nay, more than one little urchin complained grievously
of horrible, out of the way pains in the stomach,
after eating two or three dozen of his Newyear cookies.
Things went on in this way until Newyear's eve
came round again, when Boss Boomptie was sitting
behind his counter, which was wont to be thronged
with customers on this occasion, but was now quite
deserted. While thinking on his present miserable
state and future prospects, all of a sudden the little
ugly old woman, with a sharp nose, sharp chin,
sharp eyes, sharp voice, and leather spectacles,
again stood before him, leaning on her crooked black
cane.
“Ben je bedondered?” exclaimed Boss Boomptie,
“what to you want now?”
“I want a dozen Newyear cookies!” screamed
the old creature.
The little man counted out twelve, as before.
“I want one more!” screamed she, louder than
ever.
“Men weet hoe een koe een haas vangen kan!”
cried the boss, in a rage; “den want will pe your
masder.”
She offered him six stivers, which he indignantly
rejected, saying,
“I want none of your duyvel's stuyvers—begone,
duyvel's huysvrouw!”
The old woman went her way, mumbling and
grumbling as usual.
“By Saint Johannes de Dooper,” quoth Boss
Boomptie, “put she's a peaudy!”
That night, and all the week after, the brickbats
flew about Knickerbocker Hall like hail, insomuch
that Boss Boomptie marvelled where they could
all come from, until one morning, after a terrible
shower of bricks, he found, to his great grief
and dismay, that his oven had disappeared; next
went the top of his chimney; and when that was
gone, these diabolical sinners began at the extreme
point of the gable end, and so went on picking at
the two edges downward, until they looked just
like the teeth of a saw, as may be still seen in some
of our old Dutch houses.
“Onbegrypelik!” cried Boss Boomptie, “put it's
too pad to have my prains peat out wid my own
prickpats.”
About the same time a sober respectable cat,
that for years had done nothing but sit purring in
the chimney corner, all at once got the duyvel in
her, and after scratching the poor man half to death,
jumped out of the chimney and disappeared. A
Whitehall boatman afterwards saw her in Buttermilk
Channel, with nothing but the tail left, swimming
against the tide as easy as kiss your hand.
Poor Mrs. Boomptie had no peace of her life, what
with pinchings, stickings of needles, and talking
without opening her mouth. But the climax of the
malice of the demon which beset her was in at last
tying up her tongue, so that she could not speak at
all, but did nothing but sit crying and wringing her
hands in the chimney corner.
These carryings on brought round Newyear's
eve again, when Boss Boomptie thought he would
have a frolic, “in spite of de duyvel,” as he said,
which saying was, somehow or other, afterwards
applied to the creek at Kingsbridge. So he commanded
his wife to prepare him a swinging mug of
hot spiced rum, to keep up his courage against the
assaults of the brickbats. But what was the dismay
of the little man when he found that every time
he put the beverage to his lips he received a great
box on the ear, the mug was snatched away by an
invisible hand, and every single drop drank out of
it before it came to Boss Boomptie's turn. Then
as if it was an excellent joke, he heard a most diabolical
laugh down in the cellar.
“Goeden Hemel! Is het mogelyk!” exclaimed
the little man in despair. This was attacking
him in the very intrenchments of his heart. It was
worse than the brickbats.
“Saint Nicholas! Saint Nicholas! what will become
of me—what sal ich doon, mynheer?”
Scarcely had he uttered this pathetic appeal,
when there was a sound of horses' hoofs in the
chimney, and presently a light wagon, drawn by a
little, fat, gray 'Sopus pony, came trundling into the
room, loaded with all sorts of knickknacks. It was
driven by a jolly, fat, little rogue of a fellow, with
a round sparkling eye, and a mouth which would
certainly have been laughing had it not been for
a glorious Meershaum pipe, which would have
chanced to fall out in that case. The little rascal
had on a three-cornered cocked hat, decked with old
gold lace; a blue Dutch sort of a short pea jacket,
red waistcoat, breeks of the same colour, yellow
stockings, and honest thick-soled shoes, ornamented
with a pair of skates. Altogether he was a queer
figure—but there was something so irresistibly jolly
and good-natured in his face, that Boss Boomptie
felt his heart incline towards the stranger as soon
as he saw him.
“Orange Boven!” cried the good saint, pulling
off his cocked hat, and making a low bow to
Mrs. Boomptie, who sat tonguetied in the chimney
corner.
“Wat donderdag is dat?” said Boss Boomptie,
speaking for his wife, which made the good woman
very angry, that he should take the words out of her
mouth.
“You called on Saint Nicholas. Here am I,”
quoth the jolly little saint. “In one word—for I
am a saint of few words, and have my hands full
of business to-night—in one word, tell me what
you want.”
“I am pewitched,” quoth Boss Boomptie. “The
duyvel is in me, my house, my wife, my Newyear
cookies, and my children. What shall I do?”
“When you count a dozen you must count thirteen,”
answered the wagon driver, at the same time
cracking his whip, and clattering up the chimney,
more like a little duyvel than a little saint.
“Wat blixum!” muttered Boss Boomptie, “when
you count a dozen you must count dirdeen! je mag
even wel met un stokje in de goot roeron! I never
heard of such counting. By Saint Johannes de
Dooper, put Saint Nicholas is a great plockhead!”
Just as he uttered this blasphemy against the
excellent Saint Nicholas, he saw through the pane
of glass, in the door leading from the spare room to
the shop, the little ugly old woman, with the sharp
eyes, sharp nose, sharp chin, sharp voice, and leather
spectacles, alighting from a broomstick, at the
street door.
“Dere is de duyvel's kint come again,” quoth
he, in one of his cross humours, which was aggravated
by his getting just then a great box on the
ear from the invisible hand. However, he went
grumbling into the shop, for it was part of his religion
never to neglect a customer, let the occasion
be what it might.
“I want a dozen Newyear cookies,” screamed
the old beauty, as usual, and as usual Boss Boomptie
counted out twelve.
“I want another one,” screamed she still louder.
“Aha!” thought Boss Boomptie, doubtless inspired
by the jolly little caitiff, Saint Nicholas—”Aha!
Het is goed visschen in troebel water—when
you count dwalf, you must count dirdeen.
Ha—ha! ho—ho—ho!” And he counted out the
thirteenth cooky like a brave fellow.
The old woman made him a low courtesy, and
laughed till she might have shown her teeth, if she
had had any.
“Friend Boomptie,” said she, in a voice exhibiting
the perfection of a nicely modulated scream—“Friend
Boomptie, I love such generous little fellows
as you, in my heart. I salute you,” and she
advanced to kiss him. Boss Boomptie did not at
all like the proposition; but, doubtless inspired by
Saint Nicholas, he submitted with indescribable
grace.
At that moment, an explosion was heard inside
the little glass pane, and the voice of Mrs. Boomptie
crying out,
“You false-hearted villain, have I found out your
tricks at last!”
“De Philistyner Onweetende!” cried Boss
Boomptie. “She's come to her speech now!”
“The spell is broken!” screamed the old woman
with the sharp eyes, nose, chin, and voice. “The
spell is broken, and henceforward a dozen is thirteen,
and thirteen is a dozen! There shall be thirteen
Newyear cookies to the dozen, as a type of the
thirteen mighty states that are to arise out of the
ruins of the government of faderland!”
Thereupon she took a Newyear cake bearing
the effigy of the blessed St. Nicholas, and caused
Boss Boomptie to swear upon it, that for ever afterwards
twelve should be thirteen, and thirteen should
be twelve. After which, she mounted her broomstick
and disappeared, just as the little old Dutch
clock struck twelve. From that time forward, the
spell that hung over the fortunes of little Boss Boomptie
was broken; and ever after he became illustrious
for baking the most glorious Newyear cookies in
our country. Everything became as before: the
little 'prentice boys returned, mounted on the batch
of bread, and their adventures may, peradventure,
be told some other time. Finally, from that day
forward no baker of New-Amsterdam was ever
bewitched, at least by an ugly old woman, and a
bakers dozen has been always counted as thirteen.
THE GHOST.
Some time in the year 1800 or 1801, I am not
certain which, a man of the name of William Morgan—I
don't mean the person whose “abduction”
has made so much noise in the world—enlisted on
board the United States frigate —— for a three
years' cruise in the Mediterranean. He was an
awful-looking person, six feet four inches high; a
long pale visage deeply furrowed with wrinkles;
sunken eyes far up towards his forehead; black
exuberant hair standing on end as if he was always
frightened at something; a sharp chin of a length
proportioned to his height; teeth white, but very
irregular; and the colour of his eyes what the
writers on supernatural affairs call very singular
and mysterious. Besides this, his voice was hollow
and sepulchral; on his right arm were engraved
certain mysterious devices, surmounted with the letters
E. M.; and his tobacco box was of iron. His
everyday dress was a canvass hat with a black
riband band, a blue jacket, white trousers, and
leather shoes. On Sundays he wore a white
beaver, which, among sailors, bespoke something
extraordinary, and on rainy days a pea jacket too
short by half a yard. It is worthy of remark that
Morgan entered on Friday; that the frigate was
launched on Friday; that the master carpenter who
built her was born on Friday; and that the squadron
went to sea on Friday. All these singular
coincidences, combined with his mysterious appearance,
caused the sailors to look upon Morgan
with some little degree of wonder.
During the voyage to Gibraltar, Morgan's conduct
served to increase the impression his appearance
had made on the crew. He sometimes went
without eating for several days together, at least
no one ever saw him eat; and, if he ever slept at
all, it was without shutting his eyes or lying down,
for his messmates, one and all, swore that, wake at
what time of the night they would, Morgan was seen
sitting upright in his hammock, with his eyes glaring
wide open. When his turn came to take his
watch upon deck, his conduct was equally strange.
He would stand stock still in one place, gazing at
the stars, or the ocean, apparently unconscious of
his situation; and when roused by his companions,
tumble on the deck in a swoon. When he revived,
he would fall to preaching the most strange and
incomprehensible rhapsodies that ever were heard.
In their idle hours upon the forecastle, Morgan
told such stories about himself, and his strange
escapes by sea and land, as caused the sailors' hair
to stand on end, and made the jolly fellows look
upon him as a person gifted with the privilege of
living for ever. He often indeed hinted that he
had as many lives as a cat, and several times
offered to let himself be hanged for the gratification
of his messmates. On more than one occasion,
he was found lying on his back in his hammock,
apparently without life, his eyes fixed and
glassy, his limbs stiff and rigid, his lower jaw sunk
down, and his pulse motionless, at least so his
messmates swore when they went to call the doctor;
though when the latter came he always found
Morgan as well as ever he was in his life, and apparently
unconscious of all that had happened.
As they proceeded on the voyage, which proved
for the most part a succession of calms, the sailors
having little else to do, either imagined or invented
new wonders about Morgan. At one time a little
Welsh foretopman swore that as he was going to
sit down to dinner, his canteen was snatched from
under him by an invisible hand, and he fell plump
on the deck. A second had his allowance of grog
“abducted” in a mysterious manner, although he
was ready to make oath he never had his eyes off
it for a moment. A third had his tobacco box rifled,
though it had never been out of his pocket.
A fourth had a crooked sixpence, with a hole by
which it was suspended from his neck by a riband,
taken away without his ever being the wiser for it.
These things at length reached the ears of Captain
R——, who, the next time Morgan got into one
of his trances, had him confined for four-and-twenty
hours; and otherwise punished him in various
ways on the recurrence of any one of these wonderful
reports. All this produced no effect whatever
either on Morgan or the crew, which at length had
its wonder stretched to the utmost bounds by a singular
adventure of our hero.
One day, the squadron being about halfway
across the Atlantic, and the frigate several leagues
ahead with a fine breeze, there was an alarm of the
magazine being on fire. Morgan was just coming
on deck with a spoon in his hand, for some purpose
or other, when hearing the cry of “magazine on
fire,” he made one spring overboard. The fire was
extinguished by the daring gallantry of an officer,
now living, and standing in the first rank of our
naval heroes. In the confusion and alarm, it was
impossible to make any efforts to save Morgan;
and it was considered a matter of course that he
had perished in the ocean. Two days after, one
of the other vessels of the squadron came alongside
the frigate, and sent a boat on board with Billy
Morgan. Twelve hours from the time of his leaping
overboard, he had been found swimming away
gallantly, with the spoon in his hand. When asked
why he did not let it go, he replied that he kept it
to help himself to salt water when he was dry.
This adventure fixed in the minds of the sailors an
obstinate opinion, that Morgan was either a dead
man come to life again, or one that was not very
easy to be killed.
After this, Morgan continued his mysterious
pranks. The sailors talked and wondered, and
Captain R—— punished him, until the squadron
was within two or three days' sail of Gibraltar, admitting
the wind continued fair as it then was.
Morgan had been punished pretty severely that
morning for stargazing and falling into a swoon on
his watch the night before, and had solemnly assured
his messmates, that he intended to jump overboard
and drown himself the first opportunity. He
made his will, dressed himself in his best, and settled
all his affairs. He also replenished his tobacco
box, put his allowance of biscuit in his pocket,
and filled a small canteen with water, which he
strung about his neck; saying that perhaps he
might take it into his head to live a day or two in
the water, before he finally went to the bottom.
Between twelve and one, the vessel being becalmed,
the night a clear starlight, and the sentinels
pacing their rounds, Morgan was distinctly
seen to come up through the hatchway, walk forward,
climb the bulwark, and let himself drop into
the sea. A midshipman and two seamen testified
to the facts; and Morgan being missing the next
morning, there was no doubt of his having committed
suicide by drowning himself. This affair occasioned
much talk, and various were the opinions
of the ship's crew on the subject. Some swore it
was one Davy Jones who had been playing his
pranks; others that it was no man, but a ghost or a
devil that had got among them; and others were in
daily expectation of seeing him come on board
again, as much alive as ever he was.
In the mean time, the squadron proceeded but
slowly, being detained several days by calms and
head winds, most of which were in some way or
other laid to Billy Morgan by the gallant tars, who
fear nothing but Fridays and men without heads.
His fate, however, gradually ceased to be a subject
of discussion, and the wonder was quickly passing
away, when one night, about a week after his jumping
overboard, the figure of Morgan, all pale and
ghastly, his clothes hanging wet about him—with
eyes more sunken, hair more upright, and face
more thin and cadaverous than ever, was seen by
one of his messmates, who happened to be lying
awake, to emerge slowly from the forepart of the
ship, approach one of the tables where there was a
can of water, from which it took a hearty draught,
and disappear in the direction whence it came.
The sailor told the story next morning, but as yet
very few believed him.
The next night the same figure appeared, and
was seen by a different person from him by whom
it was first observed. It came from the same quarter
again, helped itself to a drink, and disappeared
in the same direction it had done before. The story
of Morgan's ghost, in the course of a day or two,
came to the ears of Captain R——, who caused a
search to be made in that part of the vessel whence
the ghost had come; under the impression that the
jumping overboard of Morgan had been a deception,
and that he was now secreted on board the
ship. The search ended, however, without any discovery.
The calms and head winds still continued,
and not a sailor on board but ascribed them
to Billy Morgan's mysterious influence. The ghost
made its appearance again the following night after
the search, when it was seen, by another of
Morgan's messmates, to empty his tobacco box, and
seize some of the fragments of supper, which had
been accidentally left on a table, with which it again
vanished in the manner before described. The
sailor swore that when the ghost made free with
his tobacco box, he attempted to lay hold of him, but
felt nothing in his hand, except something exactly
like cold water.
Captain R—— was excessively provoked at
these stories, and caused another and still more
thorough search to be made, but without any discovery.
He then directed a young midshipman to
keep watch between decks. That night the ghost
again made its appearance, and the courageous
young officer sallied out upon it; but the figure
darted away with inconceivable velocity, and disappeared.
The midshipman, as directed, immediately
informed Captain R——, who instituted an
immediate search, but with as little success as before.
By this time there was not a sailor on board
that was not afraid of his shadow, and even the officers
began to be infected with a superstitious
dread. At length the squadron arrived at Gibraltar,
and came to in the bay of Algesiras, where the
ships remained some days waiting the arrival of
those they had come to relieve. About the usual
hour that night, the ghost of Billy Morgan again
appeared to one of his messmates, offered him its
hand, and saying “Good-by, Tom,” disappeared
as usual.
It was a fortnight or more before the relief squadron
sailed up the Mediterranean, during which time
the crews of the ships were permitted to take their
turn to go on shore. On one of these occasions,
a messmate of Billy Morgan, named Tom Brown,
was passing through a tolerably dark lane in the
suburbs of Algesiras, when he heard a well-known
voice call out, “Tom, Tom, d—n your eyes,
don't you know your old messmate?” Tom knew
the voice, and looking round, recognised his old
messmate Morgan's ghost. But he had no inclination
to renew the acquaintance; he took to his
heels, and without looking behind him to see if the
ghost followed, ran to the boat where his companions
were waiting, and told the story as soon as he
could find breath for the purpose. This reached
the ear of Captain R——, who, being almost sure
of the existence of Morgan, applied to the governor
of the town, who caused search to be made everywhere
without effect. No one had ever seen such
a person. That very night the ghost made its appearance
on board the frigate, and passed its cold
wet hand over the face of Tom Brown, to whom
Morgan had left his watch and chest of clothes.
The poor fellow bawled out lustily; but before
any pursuit could be made, the ghost had disappeared
in the forward part of the ship as usual.
After this Billy again appeared two or three times
alternately to some one of his old messmates;
sometimes in the town, at others on board the
frigate, but always in the dead of night. He
seemed desirous to say something particular, but
could never succeed in getting any of the sailors
to listen quietly to the communication. The
last time he made his appearance at Algesiras, on
board the frigate, he was heard by one of the sailors
to utter, in a low hollow whisper, “You shall
see me at Malta;” after which he vanished as before.
Caption R—— was excessively perplexed at
these strange and unaccountable visitations, and
instituted every possible inquiry into the circumstances
in the hope of finding some clew to explain
the mystery. He again caused the ship to be examined
with a view to the discovery either of the
place where Morgan secreted himself, or the means
by which he escaped from the vessel. He questioned
every man on board, and threatened the severest
punishment, should he ever discover that
they deceived him in their story, or were accomplices
in the escape of Morgan. He even removed
everything in the forward part of the ship, and rendered
it impossible for any human being to be
there without being detected. The whole resulted
in leaving the affair involved in complete mystery,
and the squadron proceeded up the Mediterranean,
to cruise along the African coast, and rendezvous
at Malta.
It was some weeks before the frigate came to
the latter place, and in the mean time, as nothing
had been seen of the ghost, it was concluded that
the shade of Billy Morgan was appeased, or rather
the whole affair had been gradually forgotten. Two
nights after her arrival, a party of sailors, being
ashore at La Vallette, accidentally entered a small
tavern in a remote part of the suburbs, where they
commenced a frolic, after the manner of those amphibious
bipeds. Among them was the heir of
Billy Morgan, who about three or four in the morning
went to bed, not quite as clear headed as he
might have been. He could not tell how long he
had been asleep, when he was awakened by a
voice whispering in his ear, “Tom, Tom, wake
up!” On opening his eyes, he beheld, by the pale
light of the morning, the ghastly figure of Billy
Morgan leaning over his bed and glaring at him
with eyes like saucers. Tom cried, “Murder!
ghost! Billy Morgan!” as loud as he could bawl,
until he roused the landlord, who came to know
what was the matter. Tom related the whole affair,
and inquired if he had seen anything of the figure
he described. Mine host utterly denied having
seen or ever heard of such a figure as Billy Morgan,
and so did all his family. The report was again
alive on board the frigate, that Billy Morgan's ghost
had taken the field once more. “Heaven and
earth!” cried Captain R——, “is Billy Morgan's
ghost come again? Shall I never get rid of this
infernal spectre, or whatever else it may be?”
Captain R—— immediately ordered his barge,
waited on the governor, explained the situation of
his crew, and begged his assistance in apprehending
the ghost of Billy Morgan, or Billy himself, as
the case might be. That night the governor caused
the strictest search to be made in every hole and
corner of the little town of La Vallette; but in
vain. No one had seen that remarkable being,
corporeal or spiritual; and the landlord of the house
where the spectre appeared, together with all his
family, utterly denied any knowledge of such a
person or thing. It is little to be wondered at, that
the search proved ineffectual, for that very night
Billy took a fancy to appear on board the frigate,
where he again accosted his old friend Tom, to
whom he had bequeathed all his goods and chattels.
But Tom had no mind for a confidential communication
with the ghost, and roared out so lustily, as
usual, that it glided away and disappeared as before,
without being intercepted in the confusion
which followed.
Captain R—— was in despair; never was man
so persecuted by a ghost in this world before. The
ship's crew were in a state of terror and dismay,
insomuch that had an Algerine come across them
they might peradventure have surrendered at discretion.
They signed a round robin, drawn up by
one of Billy Morgan's old messmates, representing
to Captain R—— the propriety of running the ship
ashore, and abandoning her entirely to the ghost,
which now appeared almost every night, sometimes
between decks, at others on the end of the bowsprit,
and at others cutting capers on the yards and topgallant
mast. The story spread into the town of
La Vallette, and nothing was talked of but the ghost
of Billy Morgan, which now began to appear occasionally
to the sentinels of the fort, one of whom
had the courage to fire at it, by which he alarmed
the whole island and made matters ten times worse
than ever.
From Malta the squadron, after making a cruise
of a few weeks, proceeded to Syracuse, with the
intention of remaining some time. They were
obliged to perform a long quarantine; the ships
were strictly examined by the health officers, and
fumigated with brimstone, to the great satisfaction
of the crew of the frigate, who were in great hopes
this would drive away Billy Morgan's ghost. These
hopes were strengthened by their seeing no more
of that troublesome visiter during the whole time
the quarantine continued. The very next night
after the expiration of the quarantine, Billy again
visited his old messmate and heir Tom Brown, lank,
lean, and dripping wet, as usual, and after giving
him a rousing shake, whispered, “Hush, Tom; I
want to speak to you about my watch and chest of
clothes.” But Tom had no inclination to converse
with his old friend, and cried out “Murder” with
all his might; when the ghost vanished as before,
muttering, as Tom swore, “You bloody infernal
lubber.”
The reappearance of the ghost occasioned greater
consternation than ever among the crew of the good
ship, and it required all the influence of severe punishments
to keep them from deserting on every
occasion. Poor Tom Brown, to whom the devoirs
of the spectre seemed most especially directed, left
off swearing and chewing tobacco, and dwindled to
a perfect shadow. He became very serious, and
spent almost all his leisure time in reading chapters
in the Bible or singing psalms. Captain R——
now ordered a constant watch all night between
decks, in hopes of detecting the intruder; but all
in vain, although there was hardly a night passed
without Tom's waking and crying out that the ghost
had just paid him a visit. It was, however, thought
very singular, and to afford additional proof of its
being a ghost, that on all these occasions, except
two, it was invisible to everybody but Tom Brown.
In addition to the vexation arising from this persevering
and diabolical persecution of Billy's ghost,
various other strange and unaccountable things
happened almost every day on board the frigate.
Tobacco boxes were emptied in the most mysterious
manner, and in the dead of the night; sailors
would sometimes be missing a whole day, and return
again without being able to give any account
of themselves; and not a few of them were overtaken
with liquor, without their being ever the wiser
for it, for they all swore they had not drunk a drop
beyond their allowance. Sometimes, on going
ashore on leave for a limited time, the sailors would
be decoyed, as they solemnly assured the captain,
by some unaccountable influence into strange, out
of the way places, where they could not find their
road back, and where they were found by their
officers in a state of mysterious stupefaction, though
not one had tasted a drop of liquor. On these
occasions, they always saw the ghost of Billy Morgan,
either flying through the air, or dancing on the
tops of the steeples, with a fiery tail like a comet.
Wonder grew upon wonder every day, until the
wonder transcended the bounds of human credulity.
At length, Tom Brown, the night after receiving
a visit from Billy Morgan's ghost, disappeared, and
was never heard of afterwards. As the chest of
clothes inherited from his deceased messmate was
found entirely empty, it might have been surmised
that Tom had deserted, had not a sailor, who was
on the watch, solemnly declared that he saw the
ghost of Billy Morgan jump overboard with him in
a flame of fire, and that he hissed like a red-hot
ploughshare in the water. After this bold feat, the
spectre appeared no more. The squadron remained
some time at Syracuse, and various adventures befell
the officers and crews, which those remaining
alive tell of to this day. How Macdonough, then a
madcap midshipman, “licked” the high constable
of the town; how Burroughs quizzed the governor;
what rows they kicked up at masquerades; what
a dust they raised among the antiquities; and
what wonders they whispered in the ear of Dionysius.
From thence, they again sailed on a cruise,
and after teaching the Bey of Tripoli a new way
of paying tribute, and laying the foundation of that
structure of imperishable glory which shall one day
reach the highest heaven, returned home, after an
absence of between two and three years. The
crew of the frigate were paid off and discharged,
and it is on record, as a wonder, that their three
years' pay lasted some of them nearly three days.
But though we believe in the ghost of Billy Morgan,
we can scarcely credit this incredible wonder.
Certain it is, that not a man of them ever doubted
for a moment the reality of the spectre, or would
have hesitated to make oath of having seen it more
than once. Even Captain R—— spoke of it on
his return, as one of those strange, inscrutable
things, which baffle the efforts of human ingenuity,
and seem to justify the most extraordinary relations
of past and present times. His understanding revolted
at the absurdity of a great part of the wonders
ascribed to Billy Morgan's ghost; but some
of the facts were so well attested, that a painful
doubt would often pass over his mind, and dispose
it to the reception of superstitious impressions.
He remained in this state of mixed skepticism
and credulity, when, some years after his return
from the Mediterranean, being on a journey to the
westward, he had occasion to halt at a log house, on
the borders of the Tennessee, for refreshment. A
man came forth to receive him, whom he at once
recognised as his old acquaintance, Billy Morgan.
“Heavens!” thought Captain R——, “here's Monsieur
Tonson come again!” Billy, who had also
found out who his guest was, when too late to retreat,
looked rather sheepish, and invited him in
with little of the frank hospitality characteristic of a
genuine backwoodsman. Captain R—— followed
him into the house, where he found a comely good-natured
dame, and two or three yellow-haired boys
and girls, all in a fluster at the stranger. The
house had an air of comfort, and the mistress, by
her stirring activity, accompanied with smiling looks
withal, seemed pleased at the rare incident of a
stranger's entering their door.
Bill Morgan was at first rather shy and awkward.
But finding Captain R—— treated him
with good-humoured frankness, he, in the course of
the evening, when the children were gone to bed,
and the wife busy in milking the cows, took occasion
to accost his old commander.
“Captain, I hope you don't mean to shoot me
for a deserter?”
“By no means,” said the captain, smiling; “there
would be little use in shooting a ghost, or a man
with as many lives as a cat.”
Billy Morgan smiled rather a melancholy smile.
“Ah! captain, you have not forgot the ghost, I see.
But it is a long time to remember an old score, and
I hope you'll forgive me.”
“On one condition I will,” replied Captain
R——; “that you tell me honestly how you managed
to make all my sailors believe they saw you,
night after night, on board the ship as well as on
shore.”
“They did see me,” replied Billy, in his usual
sepulchral voice.
The captain began to be in some doubt whether
he was talking to Billy Morgan or his ghost.
“You don't pretend to say you were really on
board my vessel all the time?”
“No, not all the time, only at such times as the
sailors saw me—except previous to our arrival at
Gibraltar.”
“Then their seeing you jump overboard was all
a deception.”
“By no means, sir; I did jump overboard—but
then I climbed back again, directly after.”
“The deuse you did—explain.”
“I will, sir, as well as I am able. I was many
years among the Sandwich Islanders, where the vessel
in which I was a cabin boy was wrecked, a
long time ago, and I can pass whole hours, I believe
days, in the water, without being fatigued, except
for want of sleep. I have also got some of
their other habits, such as a great dislike to hard
work, and a liking for going where I will, and doing
just what I please. The discipline of a man-of-war
did not suit me at all, and I grew tired after
a few days. To pass the time, and to make fun
for myself with the sailors, I told them stories of
my adventures, and pretended that I could live in
the water, and had as many lives as a cat. Besides
this, as you know, I played them many other
pranks, partly for amusement, and partly from a
kind of pride I felt in making them believe I was
half a wizard. The punishment you gave me,
though I own I deserved it, put me out of all patience,
and I made up my mind to desert the very
first opportunity. I had an old shipmate with me,
whom I could trust, and we planned the whole
thing together. I knew if I deserted at Gibraltar,
or any of the ports of the Mediterranean, I should
almost certainly be caught, and shot as an example;
and for this reason we settled that I should
jump overboard, return again, and hide myself in a
coil of cable which was stowed away between
decks, close to the bows, where it was dark even in
the daytime. My messmate procured a piece of
old canvass, with which I might cover myself if
necessary. To make my jumping overboard have
a greater effect on the crew, and to provide against
accidents until the ship arrived at Gibraltar, I took
care to fill my tobacco box with tobacco, my pockets
with biscuits, and to sling a canteen of water
round my neck, as I told them perhaps I might
take it into my head not to go to the bottom for two
or three days. I got Tom Brown to write my will,
intending to leave my watch and chest to my messmate,
who was to return them to me at Gibraltar,
the first chance he could get. But Tom played us
a trick, and put his own name in place of my
friend's. Neither he nor I were any great scholars,
and the trick was not found out till afterwards,
when my friend was afraid of discovery, if he
made any rout about the matter.”
“Who was your friend?” asked Captain R——.
“He is still alive, and in service. I had rather
not mention his name.”
“Very well,” replied Captain R——, “go on.”
“That night I jumped overboard.”
“How did you get back into the ship?” asked
the captain, hastily.
“Why, sir, the forward porthole, on the starboard
side, was left open, with a bit of rope fastened
to the gun, and hanging down so that I could catch
it.”
The captain struck his forehead with the palm
of his hand, and said to himself,
“What a set of blockheads we were!”
“Not so great as might have been expected,” said
honest Billy Morgan, intending to compliment the
captain; but it sounded directly the contrary.
“As soon as I had jumped overboard I swam to
the rope, which I held fast, waiting the signal from
my friend to climb up and hide myself in the coil of
cable. In the bustle which followed it was easy
enough to do this, and nobody saw me but my
friend. Here I remained in my wet clothes, rather
uncomfortably, as you may suppose, until my provision
and water were expended, and my tobacco
box empty. I calculated they would last till we
arrived at Gibraltar, when nothing would have been
easier for me than to jump out of the porthole and
swim ashore. But the plaguy head winds and
calms, which I dare say you remember, delayed
the squadron several days longer than I expected,
and left me without supply. I could have gone
without biscuit and water, but it was impossible to
live without tobacco. My friend had promised to
come near enough to hear signals of distress sometimes,
but, as he told me afterwards, he was confined
several days for picking a quarrel with Tom
Brown, whom he longed to flog for forging the
will.
“I remained in this state until I was nearly
starved, when, not being able to stand it any
longer, I one night, when everybody between
decks seemed fast asleep, crept out from my hiding
place, where I was coiled up in the shape of a
cable, and finding a pitcher of water, took a hearty
drink out of it. This was as far as I dared go at
that time, so I went back again as quietly as possible.
But I was too hungry to remain quiet, though
among the Sandwich Islanders I had been used to
go without eating for days at a time. The next
night I crept out again, and was lucky enough to
get a pretty good supply of provisions, which happened
to be left by some accident in the way.
Two or three times I heard search making for me,
and was very much frightened lest I should be found
out in my hole.”
“How was it possible for the blockheads to miss
you?” asked Captain R——.
“Why, sir, they did come to the cable tier
where I was, but I believe they were too much
frightened to look into it, or could not see me in the
dark hole. They did not lift the canvass that
covered me either of the times they came. The
night I found the officer on the watch, I gave myself
up for gone; but as luck would have it, my
friend was now out of limbo, and always took care
to examine the coil of cable so carefully, that nobody
thought of looking into it after him. When
we arrived at the bay of Algesiras, I took an opportunity
to frighten Tom Brown a little, by visiting
him in the night and bidding him good-by,
after which I slipped quietly out of the porthole,
and swam ashore, while my friend pulled up the
rope and shut the port after me as usual.”
“But how did you manage to escape from the
search made by the police at Algesiras?”
“Oh, sir! I was on board the frigate all the time
in my old hiding place.”
“And when the ship was searched directly
after?”
“I was ashore at that time.”
“And how did you manage at Malta?”
“The landlord was my sworn brother, and
wouldn't have blabbed for a thousand pounds.”
“And the capers on the yardarm and topgallant,
the visits paid to Tom Brown at Syracuse,
and the wonderful stories told by the sailors of
being robbed of their tobacco, getting tipsy upon
nothing, and being led astray by nobody? What
do you say to all this, Mr. Ghost?” said the captain,
smiling.
“I never paid but two visits to the ship, so far
is I remember, sir, after she left Malta. One was
the night I wanted to talk with Tom Brown, the
other when he disappeared the night afterwards.
The rest of the stories were all owing to the jokes of
some of the sailors, and the fears of the others.”
“But you are sure you did not jump into the sea
with Tom Brown, in a flame of fire?”
“Yes, sir, as I am an honest man. Tom got
away without any help of mine, and without my
ever knowing how, until a long time afterwards,
when I accidentally met him at Liverpool.”
“Well?”
“He was not to be convinced I was living, but
ran away as hard as he could, and to this day believes
in ghosts as much as he does in his being
alive himself.”
“So far all is clear enough,” said Captain
R——; “but what could possibly induce you to
put yourself in the way of being caught after escaping,
by visiting the ship and letting yourself be
seen?”
“I wanted to see Tom Brown, sir.”
“Why so?”
“I wanted to get back my watch and clothes
from him.”
“Oh! I see it now. But had you no other object?”
“Why, I'll tell you, sir; besides that, I had a
sort of foolish pride, all my life, in frightening people,
and making them wonder at me, by telling
tough stories, or doing strange things. I haven't
got over it to this day, and have been well beaten
two or three times, besides being put in jail, for
playing the ghost hereabout, with the country
people, at court time. I confess too, sir, that I
have once or twice frightened my wife almost into
fits, by way of a frolic; and for all the trouble it
has brought upon me, I believe in my soul I shall
play the ghost till I give up the ghost at last.
Besides this, the truth is, sir, I had a little spite at
you for having put me in the bilboes for some of
these pranks, as I deserved, and had no objection
to pay you off, by breeding trouble in the ship.”
“Truly, you succeeded wonderfully; but what
became of you afterwards?”
“Why, sir, after Tom Brown deserted, and, to
quiet his conscience, left my watch and clothes to
my friend, I had no motive for playing the ghost
any more. I shipped in an American merchantman
for Smyrna—from thence I went to Gibraltar—and
after voyaging a year or two, and saving a
few hundred dollars, came to Boston at last. I did
not dare to stay along shore, for fear of being
known by some of the officers of the squadron, so
I took my money and my bundle and went into
the back country. I am a little of everything, a
jack of all trades, and turned farmer, as sea captains
often do when they are tired of ploughing the
ocean. I get on pretty well now, and hope you
won't have me shot by a court martial.”
“No,” replied Captain R——, “I am out of the
navy now. I have turned farmer too, and you are
quite safe.”
“I hope you prosper well, sir?”
“Not quite as well as you, Billy—I have come
into the backwoods to see if I can do better.”
“Only serve under me,” said Billy,“ and I will
repay all your good offices.”
“What, the floggings, _et cetera_?”
“By God's help, sir, I may,” said Billy. “Try
me, sir.”
“No—I am going on a little farther.”
“You may go farther, and fare worse, sir.”
“Perhaps so—but I believe it is bedtime, and
so good-night, Mr. Ghost.”
Captain R—— retired very quietly to his room,
went to bed, and slept like a top, till the broad sun
shone over the summits of the trees into his face,
as he lay under the window. He breakfasted sumptuously,
and set out gallantly for the prairies of St.
Louis.
“Good-by, captain,” said Billy, leering, and
lengthening his face to a supernatural degree. “I
hope you won't meet any ghosts on your way.”
“Good-by, Billy,” replied Captain R——, a little
nettled at this joke. “I hope you will not get
into the state prison for playing the ghost.”
“I'll take care of that, sir; I've been in the state
prison already, and you won't catch me there again,
I warrant you.”
“What do you mean, Billy?”
“I mean, that there is little or no odds between
a state ship and a state prison,” said Billy, with a
face longer than ever, and a most expressive shrug.
Captain R—— proceeded on his way, reflecting
on the singular story of Billy Morgan, whose pranks
on board the frigate had convinced some hundreds
of men of the existence of ghosts, and thrown the
gloom of superstitious horror over the remainder of
their existence. “Not a sailor,” thought he, “out
of more than five hundred, with the exception of a
single one, but will go to his grave in the full belief
of the appearance of Billy Morgan's ghost.
What an unlucky rencounter this of mine; it has
spoiled one of the best-authenticated ghost stories
of the age.”
THE NYMPH OF THE MOUNTAIN.
In a certain corner of the Bay State there once
stood, and we hope will continue to nourish long
and happily, a snug town, now promoted to be a
city, the name of which is not material to our purpose.
Here in a great shingle palace, which would
have been a very comfortable edifice had it only
been finished, lived a reputable widow, well to do
in the world, and the happy mother of a promising
lad, a wonderful clever boy, as might be expected.
In fact, Shearjashub (that was his name) was no
bad specimen of the country lad. He was hardy,
abstemious, independent, and _cute_ withal; and before
he was a man grown, made a great bargain
once out of a travelling merchant, a Scotchman, who
chanced that way. Besides this, he was a mechanical
genius; and, though far from being lazy,
delighted in the invention of labour-saving machines,
some of which were odd enough. He peeled all
his mother's pumpkins by water, and spun her flax
with a windmill. Nay, it was reported of him,
that he once invented a machine for digging graves
upon speculation, by which he calculated he should
certainly have made his fortune, had not the people
of the village all with one accord taken it into their
heads to live for ever. The name of the family
was Yankee, they having been the first that had
intercourse with the Indians, who called them
Yankee, because they could not say English.
The Widow Yankee was a right pious, meeting-going
woman, who held it to be a great want of
faith not to believe in everything; especially everything
out of the way and impossible. She was
a great amateur of demonology and witchcraft.
Moreover, she was gifted with a reasonable share
of curiosity, though it is recorded that once she
came very near missing to get at the bottom of a
secret. The story ran as follows:—
One day, as she was sitting at her window,
which had a happy aspect for overlooking the
affairs of the village, she saw a mysterious-looking
man, with a stick in his hand and a pipe in his
mouth, walking exactly three feet behind a white
cow. The same thing happened precisely at the
same hour in the same manner the next day, and
so continued for some time. The first week the
widow began to think it rather odd; the second she
began to think it quite strange; the third it became
altogether mysterious; and the fourth the poor
woman took to her bed, of the disease of the man
and the cow.
Doctor Calomel undertook the cure in a new and
original manner, to wit, without the use of medicine.
He wrought upon the mysterious cowdriver
to come to the widow's house, and tell her the
whole secret of the business. When he came into
the room the sick woman raised herself up, and in
a faint voice addressed him as follows:—
“Mysterious man! I conjure thee to tell me what
under the sun makes thee always follow that cow
about every day at the same hour, and at the same
distance from her tail?”
“Because the cow always goes before me!” replied
the mysterious man.
Upon which the widow jumped out of her sick
bed, seized an old shoe, fired it at the mysterious
man's head, and was miraculously cured from that
moment. Doctor Calomel got into great practice
thereupon.
Shearjashub inherited a considerable share of his
mother's inquiring disposition, and was very inquisitive
about the affairs of other people; but, to do
him justice, he took pretty good care to keep his
own to himself, like a discreet lad as he was. Having
invented so many labour-saving machines, Jashub,
as he was usually called by the neighbours,
thought it was great nonsense to work himself; so
he set his machines going, and took to the amusement
of killing time, which, in a country village, is
no such easy matter. It required a considerable
share of ingenuity. His favourite mode of doing
this was taking his gun on his shoulder, and sallying
forth into the fields and woods, followed by a
cur, whose genealogy was perfectly mysterious.
Nobody could tell to what family he belonged;
certain it was, that he was neither “mongrel, puppy,
whelp, nor hound,” but a cur of low degree,
whose delight was to bask in the sun when he was
not out with his young master.
In this way Jashub would pass day after day, in
what he called sporting; that is to say, toiling
through tangled woods and rough bog meadows and
swamps, that quivered like a jelly at every step, and
returning home at night hungry as well as tired.
Report said that he never was known to shoot anything;
and thus far his time was spent innocently, if
not improvingly.
One fast-day, early in the spring of 1776, Jashub
went forth as usual, with his gun on his shoulder,
and little Snap (such was the name of the dog) at his
heels. The early May had put on all her charms;
a thousand little patches of wild violets were peeping
forth with deep blue eyes; a thousand, yea,
tens of thousands of little buds were expanding into
leaves apace; and crowds of chirping birds were
singing a hymn to the jolly laughing spring. Jashub
could not find it in his heart to fire at them; but if
he had, there would have been no danger, except of
frightening the little warblers, and arresting their
song.
Beguiled by the beauties of Nature and her charming
music, Jashub almost unconsciously wandered
on until he came to the opening of a deep glen in
the mountain, which rose at some miles distance,
west of the village. It was formed by the passage
of a pure crystal stream, which, in the course of
ages, or perhaps by a single effort, had divided the
mountain about the space of twenty yards, ten of
which were occupied by the brook, which silently
wound its way along the edge of steep and rocky
precipices several hundred feet high, that formed
the barriers of the glen on either side. These towering
perpendicular masses of gray eternity were
here and there green with the adventurous laurel,
which, fastening its roots in the crevices, nodded
over the mighty steep in fearful dizziness. Here
and there a little spring gushed forth high up among
the graybeard rocks, and trickled down their sides
in silvery brightness. In other places patches of
isinglass appeared, sparkling against the sober
masses, and communicating a singularly lustrous
character to the scene, which had otherwise been
all gloomy solitude.
Jashub gazed a while in apprehensive wonder,
as he stood at the entrance of these everlasting
gates. Curiosity prompted him to enter, and explore
the recesses within, while a certain vague
unwillingness deterred him. At length curiosity,
or perhaps fate, which had decreed that he should
become the instrument of her great designs, prevailed
against all opposition, and he entered the
gates of this majestic palace of nature. He slowly
advanced, sometimes arrested by a certain feeling
of mysterious awe; at others driven on by the
power which had assumed the direction of his conduct,
until he arrived at the centre of the hallowed
solitude. Not a living thing breathed around him,
except his little dog, and his gun trembled in his
hand. All was gloom, silence, solitude, deep and
profound. The brook poured forth no murmurs,
the birds and insects seemed to have shunned the unsunned
region, where everlasting twilight reigned;
and the scream of the hawks, pursuing their way
across the deep chasm, was hushed as they passed.
Jashub was arrested by the melancholy grandeur
of the scene, and his dog looked wistfully in his
face, as if he wanted to go home. As he stood
thus lingering, leaning on his gun, a merry strain
broke forth upon the terrible silence, and echoed
through the glen. The sound made him suddenly
start, in doing which his foot somehow or other
caught in the lock of his gun, which he had forgot
to uncock, as was usual with him, and caused
it to go off. The explosion rang through the recesses
of the glen in a hundred repetitions, which
were answered by the howlings of the little dog.
As the echoes gradually subsided, and the smoke
cleared away, the music again commenced. It was
a careless, lively air, such as suited the taste of the
young man, and he forgot his fears in his love of
music.
As he stood thus entranced he heard a voice,
sweet, yet animating as the clear sound of the trumpet,
exclaim,
“Shearjashub! Shearjashub!”
Jashub's heart bounded into his throat, and prevented
his answering. He loaded his gun, and stood
on the defensive.
In a moment after the same trumpet voice repeated
the same words,
“Shearjashub! Shearjashub!”
“What d'ye want, you tarnal kritter?” at length
the young man answered, with a degree of courage
that afterwards astonished him.
“Listen—and look!”
He listened and looked, but saw nothing, until a
little flourish of the same sprightly tune directed
his attention to the spot whence it came.
High on the summit of the highest perpendicular
cliff, which shone gorgeously with sparkling isinglass,
seated under the shade of a tuft of laurels, he
beheld a female figure, holding a little flageolet,
and playing the sprightly air which he had just
heard. Her height, notwithstanding the distance,
appeared majestic; the flash of her bright beaming
eye illumined the depths of the gloom, and her air
seemed that of a goddess. She was dressed in
simple robes of virgin white, and on her head she
wore a cap, such as has since been consecrated to
Liberty by my gallant countrymen.
Shearjashub looked, trembled, and was silent.
In a few minutes, however, his recollection returned.
“Shearjashub!” exclaimed the lady of the rock,
“listen!”
But Shearjashub had given leg bail. Both he
and his faithful squire, little Snap, had left the
haunted glen as fast as their feet would carry
them.
He told the story when he got home, with some
little exaggeration. Nobody believed him except
the widow, his honoured mother, who had faith to
swallow a camel. All the rest laughed at him, and
the wicked damsels of the village were always
joking about his mountain sweetheart.
At last he got out of patience, and one day demanded
of those who were bantering him what proof
they would have of the truth of his story.
“Why,” said old Deacon Mayhew, “I guess I
should be considerably particular satisfied if you
would bring us hum that same fife you heard the
gal play on so finely.”
“And I,” said another, “will believe the young
squire if he'll play the same tune on it he heard
yonder in the mountain.”
Shearjashub was so pestered and provoked at
last, that he determined to put his courage to the
proof, and see whether it would bear him out in
another visit to the chasm in the mountain. He
thought he might as well be dead as have no comfort
of his life.
“I'll be darned if I don't go,” said he, and away
he went, with no other company than his little dog.
It was on the fourth day of July, 1776, that Shearjashub
wrought himself up to a second visit.
“I'm just come of age this very day,” said he,
“and I'll show the kritters I'm not made a man for
nothing.”
He certainly felt, as he afterwards confessed, a
little skittish on this occasion, and his dog seemed
not much to relish the excursion. Shearjashub had
his gun, but had not the heart to fire at any of the
birds that flitted about, and seemed as if they were
not afraid of coming nigh him. His mind ran upon
other matters entirely. He was a long while getting
to the chasm in the mountain. Sometimes he
would stop to rest, as he said to himself, though he
was not in the least tired; sometimes he found
himself standing still, admiring nothing; and once
or twice actually detected his feet moving on their
way home, instead of towards the mountain.
On arriving at the vast gates that, as it were,
guarded the entrance to the glen, he halted to consider
the matter. All was silence, repose, gloom,
and sublimity. His spirit at first sunk under the
majesty of nature, but at length became gradually inspired
by the scene before him with something of
a kindred dignity. He marched forward with a
vigorous step and firm heart, rendered the more
firm by hearing and seeing nothing of the white
nymph of the rock or her sprightly music. He
hardly knew whether he wished to see her or not,
if she appeared he might be inspired to
run away again; and if she did not, the deacon and
the girls would laugh at him worse than ever.
With these conflicting thoughts he arrived at the
very centre of the gloomy solitude, where he stood
a few moments, expecting to hear the music. All
was loneliness; Repose lay sleeping on his bed of
rocks, and Silence reigned alone in her chosen retreat.
“Is it possible that I was dreaming the other
day, when I was here, as these tarnal kritters twit
me I was?” asked the young man of himself.
He was answered by the voice of the white girl
of the mountain, exclaiming, in the same sweet yet
clear, animating, trumpet tones,
“Shearjashub! Shearjashub! listen.”
Jashub's legs felt some little inclination to run
away; but this time he kept his ground like a brave
fellow.
Again the same sprightly air echoed through the
silence of the deep profound, in strains of animating
yet simple, careless vivacity. Shearjashub
began to feel himself inspired. He bobbed his
head from side to side to suit the air, and was once
or twice on the point of cutting a caper.
He felt his bosom thrill with unwonted energies,
and a new vigour animated his frame as he contemplated
the glorious figure of the mountain nymph,
and listened to her sprightly flageolet.
“Shearjashub!” cried the nymph, after finishing
her strain of music, “listen!”
“Speak—I hear,” said the young man.
“My name is Liberty; dost thou know me?”
“I have heard my father and grandfather speak
of thee, and say they came to the New World to
seek thee.”
“Well, I am found at last. Listen to me.”
“Speak on.”
“Your country has just devoted herself forever
to me and my glory. Your countrymen have this
day pronounced themselves freemen, and they shall
be what they have willed, in spite of fate or fortune.
But my blessings are never thrown away on
cowards; they are to be gained by toil, suffering,
hunger, wounds, and death; by courage and perseverance;
by virtue and patriotism. The wrath
and the mighty energies of the oppressor are now
directed against your people; hunger assails them;
force overmatches them, and their spirits begin to
fail. Take this pipe,” and she flung him the little
flageolet, which he caught in his hand. “Canst
thou play on it? Try.”
He put it to his lips, and to his surprise, produced
the same animating strain he had heard from
the nymph of the mountain.
“Now go forth among the people and their armies,
and inspire them for battle. Wherever thou
goest with thy pipe, and whenever thou playest
that air, I will be with thee and thy countrymen.
Go, fear not; those who deserve me shall always
win me. Farewell—we shall meet again.” So
saying, she vanished behind the tuft of laurels.
Shearjashub marched straight home with his
pipe, and somehow or other felt he did not quite
know how; he felt as if he could eat gunpowder,
and snap his fingers at the deacon.
“What the dickens has got in the kritter?” said
the deacon, when he saw him strutting along like a
captain of militia.
“I declare, Jashub looks like a continental,” exclaimed
the girls.
Just then Shearjashub put his pipe to his mouth,
and played the tune he had learned, as if by magic,
from the mountain nymph; whereat Deacon Mayhew
made for the little white meeting house, whither
all the villagers followed him, and preached a
sermon, calling on the people to rise and fight for
liberty, in such stirring strains that forthwith all the
men, young and old, took their muskets and went
out in defence of their country, under the command
of Shearjashub. Wherever he came he played the
magic tune on his pipe, and the men, like those of
his native village, took to their arms, and went
forth to meet the oppressor, like little David against
Goliath, armed with a sling and a stone.
They joined the army of Liberty, which they
found dispirited with defeat, and weak with suffering
and want. They scarcely dared hope for success
to their cause, and a general gloom depressed
the hearts of all the true friends of freedom. In
this state the enemy attacked them, and threw
them into confusion, when Shearjashub came on at
the head of his troops, playing his inspiring music
with might and main. Wherever he went the
sounds seemed to awaken the spirit of heroism in
every breast. Those who were retreating rallied;
and those who stood their ground maintained it
more stoutly than ever. The victory remained
with the sons of Liberty, and Shearjashub celebrated
it with a tune on his pipe, which echoed through
the whole land, and wakened it to new triumphs.
After a hard and bloody struggle, in which the
pipe of Shearjashub animated the very clods of the
valley wherever he went, the promise of the nymph
of the mountain was fulfilled. The countrymen of
Shearjashub were free and independent. They
were about to repose under the laurels they had
reaped, and to wear what they had so dearly won.
Shearjashub also departed for his native village
with his pipe, which had so materially assisted in
the attainment of the blessings of freedom. His
way lay through the chasm in the mountain, where
he first encountered the nymph with the cap and
snow-white robe. He was anticipating the happiness
of seeing his aged mother, who had lived
through the long war, principally on the excitement
of news, and the still more near and dear happiness
of taking to his bosom the girl of his heart,
Miss Prudence Worthy, as fair a maid as ever
raised a sigh in the bosom of lusty youth.
He had got to the centre of the glen when he was
roused from his sweet anticipations by the well-remembered
voice of the nymph of the mountain,
who sat on the same inaccessible rock, under the
same tuft of laurel, where he had first seen her,
with an eagle at her side.
“Shearjashub!” cried she, in a voice which made
the echoes of the rocks mad with ecstasy—“Shearjashub!
thou hast done well, and deserved nobly of
thy country. The thought of that is, in itself,
a glorious reward for toil, danger, and suffering.
But thou shalt have one as dear, if not dearer than
even this. Look where it comes.”
Shearjashub looked, and beheld afar off a figure
all in white coming towards him, at the entrance of
the glen. It approached nearer, and it was a woman;
nearer yet, and it was a young woman; still
nearer, and Shearjashub rushed towards it, and
kissed its blushing cheek. It was the girl of his
heart, Miss Prudence Worthy.
“This is thy other blessing,” exclaimed the
mountain nymph, the sight of whom made Miss
Prudence a little jealous; “a richer reward for
noble exertions than a virtuous woman I know
not of. Live free, live virtuous, and then thou
wilt be happy. I shall be with thee an invisible
witness, an invisible protector; but, in the mean
while, should the spirit of the people ever flag, and
their hearts fail them in time of peril, go forth among
them as thou didst before, and rouse them with thy
pipe and thy music. Farewell, and be happy!”
The nymph disappeared, and the little jealous
pang felt by Miss Prudence melted away in measureless
confidence and love. The tune of the
mountain nymph was played over and over again at
Shearjashub's wedding, and ever afterwards became
known by the name of YANKEE DOODLE.
THE RIDE OF SAINT NICHOLAS ON NEWYEAR'S EVE.
Of all the cities in this New World, that which
once bore the name of Fort Orange, but now bears
it no more, is the favourite of the good St. Nicholas.
It is there that he hears the sound of his native
language, and sees the honest Dutch pipe in
the mouths of a few portly burghers, who, disdaining
the pestilent innovations of modern times, still
cling with honest obstinacy to the dress, the manners,
and customs of old faderland. It is there, too
that they have instituted a society in honour of
the excellent saint, whose birthday they celebrate
in a manner worthy of all commendation.
True it is, that the city of his affections has from
time to time committed divers great offences
which sorely wounded the feelings of St. Nicholas,
and almost caused him to withdraw his patronage
from its backsliding citizens. First, by adopting
the newfangled style of beginning the year at the
bidding of the old lady of Babylon, whereby the
jolly Newyear was so jostled out of place that the
good saint scarcely knew where to look for it.
Next, they essayed themselves to learn outlandish
tongues, whereby they gradually sophisticated
their own, insomuch that he could hardly understand
them. Thirdly, they did, from time to
time, admit into their churches preachings and singings
in the upstart English language, until by degrees
the ancient worship became adulterated in
such a manner that the indignant St. Nicholas,
when he first witnessed it, did, for the only time in
his life, come near to uttering a great oath, by exclaiming,
“Wat donderdag is dat?” Now be it
known that had he said, “Wat donder is dat,” it
would have been downright swearing; so you see
what a narrow escape he had.
Not content with these backslidings, the burghers
of Fort Orange—a pestilence on all new names!—suffered
themselves by degrees to be corrupted by
various modern innovations, under the mischievous
disguise of improvements. Forgetting the reverence
due to their ancestors, who eschewed all internal
improvement, except that of the mind and
heart, they departed from the venerable customs
of the faderland, and pulling down the old houses
that, scorning all appearance of ostentation, modestly
presented the little end to the street, began
to erect in their places certain indescribable buildings,
with the broadsides as it were turned frontwise,
by which strange contortion the comeliness
of Fort Orange was utterly destroyed. It is on
record that a heavy judgment fell upon the head
of the first man who adventured on this daring innovation.
His money gave out before this monstrous
novelty was completed, and he invented the
pernicious system of borrowing and mortgaging,
before happily unknown among these worthy citizens,
who were utterly confounded, not long afterwards,
at seeing the house change its owner—a
thing that had never happened before in that goodly
community, save when the son entered on the inheritance
of his father.
Becoming gradually more incorrigible in their
backslidings, they were seduced into opening, widening,
and regulating the streets; making the
crooked straight and the narrow wide, thereby causing
sad inroads into the strong boxes of divers of
the honest burghers, who became all at once very
rich, saving that they had no money to go to market.
To cap the climax of their enormities, they
at last committed the egregious sacrilege of pulling
down the ancient and honourable Dutch church,
which stood right in the middle of State-street, or
Staats-street, being so called after the family of
that name, from which I am lineally descended.
At this the good St. Nicholas was exceedingly
grieved; and when, by degrees, his favourite burghers
left off eating sturgeon, being thereto instigated
by divers scurvy jests of certain silly strangers,
that knew not the excellence of that savoury fish,
he cried out in the bitterness of his soul, “Onbegrypelyk!”—“Incredible!”
meaning thereby that he
could scarcely believe his eyes. In the bitterness of
his soul he had resolved to return to faderland, and
leave his beloved city to be swallowed up in the
vortex of improvement. He was making his progress
through the streets, to take his last farewell,
in melancholy mood, when he came to the outlet of
the Grand Canal, just then completed. “Is het mogelyk?”—which
means, is it possible—exclaimed
St. Nicholas; and thereupon he was so delighted
with this proof that his beloved people had not altogether
degenerated from their ancestors, that he
determined not to leave them to strange saints, outlandish
tongues, and modern innovations. He took
a sail on the canal, and returned in such measureless
content, that he blessed the good city of Fort
Orange, as he evermore called it, and resolved to
distribute a more than usual store of his Newyear
cookies, at the Christmas holydays. That jovial
season was now fast approaching. The autumn
frosts had already invested the forests with a mantle
of glory; the farmers were in their fields and
orchards, gathering in the corn and apples, or
making cider, the wholesome beverage of virtuous
simplicity; the robins, blackbirds, and all the annual
emigrants to southern climes, had passed
away in flocks, like the adventurers to the far West;
the bluebird alone lingered last of all to sing his
parting song; and sometimes of a morning, the
river showed a little fretted border of ice, looking
like a fringe of lace on the garment of some decayed
dowager. At length the liquid glass of the
river cooled into a wide, immoveable mirror, glistening
in the sun; the trees, all save the evergreens,
stood bare to the keen cold winds; the fields were
covered with snow, affording no lures to tempt to
rural wanderings; the enjoyments of life gradually
centred themselves at the cheerful fireside—it was
winter, and Newyear's eve was come again!
The night was clear, calm, and cold, and the
bright stars glittered in the heavens in such multitudes,
that every man might have had a star to
himself. The worthy patriarchs of Fort Orange,
having gathered around them their children, and
children's children, even unto the third and fourth
generation, were enjoying themselves in innocent
revelry at the cheerful fireside. All the enjoyments
of life had contracted themselves into the domestic
circle; the streets were as quiet as a churchyard,
and not even the stroke of the watchman was heard
on the curbstone. Gradually it waxed late, and
the city clocks rang, in the silence of night, the
hour which not one of the orderly citizens had
heard, except at midday, since the last anniversary
of the happy Newyear, save peradventure troubled
with a toothache, or some such unseemly irritation.
The doleful warning, which broke upon the
frosty air like the tolling of a funeral bell, roused
the sober devotees of St. Nicholas to a sense of
their trespasses on the waning night, and after one
good, smoking draught of spiced Jamaica to the
patron saint, they, one and all, young and old, hied
them to bed, that he might have a fair opportunity
to bestow his favours without being seen by mortal
eye. For be it known, that St. Nicholas, like
all really heart-whole generous fellows, loves to do
good in secret, and eschews those pompous benefactions
which are duly recorded in the newspapers,
being of opinion they only prove that the vanity
of man is sometimes an overmatch for his avarice.
Having allowed them fifteen minutes, which is
as much as a sober burgher of good morals and
habits requires, to get as fast asleep as a church,
St. Nicholas, having harnessed his pony, and loaded
his little wagon with a store of good things for well-behaved,
diligent children, together with whips and
other mementoes for undutiful varlets, did set forth
gayly on his errand of benevolence.
_Vuur en vlammen!_ how the good saint did hurry
through the streets, up one chimney and down another;
for be it known, they are not such miserable
narrow things as those of other cities, where the
claims of ostentation are so voracious that people
can't afford to keep up good fires, and the chimneys
are so narrow that the little sweeps of seven
years old often get themselves stuck fast, to the
imminent peril of their lives. You may think he
had a good deal of business on hand, being obliged
to visit every house in Fort Orange, between twelve
o'clock and daylight, with the exception of some
few would-be fashionable upstarts, who had mortally
offended him, by turning up their noses at the
simple jollifications and friendly greetings of the
merry Newyear. Accordingly, he rides like the
wind, scarcely touching the ground; and this is the
reason that he is never seen, except by a rare
chance, which is the cause why certain unbelieving
sinners, who scoff at old customs and notions, either
really do, or pretend to doubt, whether the good
things found on Christmas and Newyear mornings
in the stockings of the little varlets of Fort
Orange and New-Amsterdam, are put there by the
jolly St. Nicholas or not. Beshrew them, say I—and
may they never taste the blessing of his bounty!
Goeden Hemel! as if I myself, being a kinsman
of the saint, don't know him as well as a debtor
does his creditor! But people are grown so wise
nowadays, that they believe in nothing but the increased
value of property.
Be this as it may, St. Nicholas went forth blithely
on his goodly errand, without minding the intense
cold, for he was kept right warm by the benevolence
of his heart, and when that failed, he ever and anon
addressed himself to a snug little pottle, the contents
of which did smoke lustily when he pulled
out the stopper, a piece of snow-white corn cob.
It is impossible for me to specify one by one the
visits paid that night by the good saint, or the various
adventures which he encountered. I therefore
content myself, and I trust my worthy and excellent
readers, with dwelling briefly on those which
appear to me most worthy of descending to posterity,
and withal convey excellent moral lessons, without
which history is naught, whether it be true or
false.
After visiting various honest little Dutch houses,
with notched roofs, and the gable ends to the street,
leaving his benedictions, St. Nicholas at length
came to a goodly mansion bearing strong marks of
being sophisticated by modern fantastic innovations.
He would have passed it by in scorn, had he not
remembered that it belonged to a descendant of one
of his favoured votaries, who had passed away to
his long home without being once backslided from
the customs of his ancestors. Respect for the memory
of this worthy man wrought upon his feelings,
and he forthwith dashed down the chimney, where
he stuck fast in the middle, and came nigh being
suffocated with the fumes of anthracite coal, which
this degenerate descendant of a pious ancestor,
who spent thousands in useless and unseemly ostentation,
burned by way of economy.
If the excellent saint had not been enveloped, as
it were, in the odour of sanctity, which in some
measure protected him from the poison of this pestilent
vapour, it might have gone hard with him;
as it was, he was sadly bewildered, when his little
pony, which liked the predicament no better than
his master, made a violent plunge, drew the wagon
through the narrow passage, and down they came
plump into a magnificent bedchamber, filled with
all sorts of finery, such as wardrobes, bedizened
with tawdry ornaments; satin chairs too good to be
looked at or sat upon, and therefore covered with
brown linen; a bedstead of varnished mahogany,
with a canopy over it somewhat like a cocked hat,
with a plume of ostrich feathers instead of orthodox
valances and the like; and a looking-glass large
enough to reflect a Dutch city.
St. Nicholas contemplated the pair who slept
in this newfangled abomination with a mingled
feeling of pity and indignation, though I must say
the wife looked very pretty in her lace nightcap,
with one arm as white as snow partly uncovered.
But he soon turned away, being a devout and self-denying
saint, to seek for the stockings of the little
children, who were innocent of these unseemly innovations.
But what was his horror at finding that,
instead of being hung up in the chimney corner,
they were thrown carelessly on the floor, and that
the little souls, who lay asleep in each other's arms
in another room, lest they should disturb their parents,
were thus deprived of all the pleasant anticipations
accompanying the approaching jolly Newyear.
“Een vervlocte jonge,” said he to himself, for he
never uttered his maledictions aloud, “to rob their
little ones of such wholesome and innocent delights!
But they shall not be disappointed.” So he sought
the cold and distant chamber of the children, who
were virtuous and dutiful, who, when they waked
in the morning, found the bed covered with good
things, and were as happy as the day is long.
When St, Nicholas returned to the splendid chamber,
which, be it known, was furnished with the
spoils of industrious unfortunate people, to whom
the owner lent money, charging them so much the
more in proportion to their necessities. It is true
that he gave some of the wealth he thus got over
the duyvel's back, as it were, to public charities,
and sometimes churches, when he knew it would
get into the newspapers, by which he obtained the
credit of being very pious and charitable. But St.
Nicholas was too sensible and judicious not to know
that the only charitable and pious donations agreeable
to the Giver of good, are those which are
honestly come by. The alms which are got by ill
means can never come to good, and it is better to
give back to those from whom we have taken it
dishonestly even one fourth, yea, one tenth, than to
bestow ten times as much on those who have no
such claim. The true atonement for injuries is
that made to the injured alone. All other is a cheat
in the eye of Heaven. You cannot settle the account
by giving to Peter what you have filched from
Paul.
So thought the good St. Nicholas, as he revolved
in his mind a plan for punishing this degenerate
caitiff, who despised his ordinances and customs,
and was moreover one who, in dealing with borrowers,
not only shaved but skinned them. Remembering
not the perils of the chimney, he was
about departing the same way he came, but the
little pony obstinately refused; and the good saint,
having first taken off the lace nightcap, and put a
foolscap in its place, and given the money lender a
tweak of the nose that made him roar, whipped
instantly through the keyhole to pursue his benevolent
tour through the ancient city of Fort Orange.
Gliding through the streets unheard and unseen,
he at length came to a little winding lane, from
which his quick ear caught the sound of obstreperous
revelry. Stopping his pony, and listening
more attentively,— he distinguished the words, “Ich
ben Liederich,” roared out in a chorus of mingled
voices seemingly issuing from a little low house of
the true orthodox construction, standing on the
right-hand side, at a distance of a hundred yards,
or thereabout.
“Wat donderdag!” exclaimed St. Nicholas, “is
mine old friend, Baltus Van Loon, keeping it up at
this time of the morning? The old rogue! but I'll
punish him for this breach of the good customs of
Fort Orange.” So he halted on the top of Baltus's
chimney, to consider the best way of bringing it
about, and was, all at once, saluted in the nostrils
by such a delectable perfume, arising from a certain
spiced beverage, with which the substantial
burghers were wont to recreate themselves at this
season of the year, that he was sorely tempted to
join a little in the revelry below, and punish the
merry caitiffs afterwards. Presently he heard honest
Baltus propose—“The jolly St. Nicholas,” as a
toast, which was drunk in a full bumper, with great
rejoicing and acclamation.
St. Nicholas could stand it no longer, but descended
forthwith into the little parlour of old Baltus,
thinking, by-the-way, that, just to preserve appearances,
he would lecture the roistering rogues
a little for keeping such late hours, and, provided
Baltus could give a good reason, or indeed any reason
at all, for such an unseemly transgression, he
would then sit down with them, and take some of
the savoury beverage that had regaled his nostrils
while waiting at the top of the chimney.
The roistering rogues were so busy roaring out,
“Ich ben Liederich,” that they did not take note of
the presence of the saint, until he cried out with a
loud and angry voice, “Wat blikslager is dat?”—he
did not say blixem, because that would have been
little better than swearing. “Ben je be dondered,
to be carousing here at this time of night, ye ancient,
and not venerable sinners?”
Old Baltus was not a little startled at the intrusion
of the strangers—for, if the truth must out, he
was a little in for it, and saw double, as is usual
at such times. This caused such a confusion in
his head that he forgot to rise from his seat, and
pay due honour to his visiter, as did the rest of the
company.
“Are you not ashamed of yourselves,” continued
the saint, “to set such a bad example to the neighbourhood,
by carousing at this time of the morning,
contrary to good old customs, known and accepted
by all, except such noisy splutterkins as yourselves?”
“This time of the morning,” replied old Baltus,
who had his full portion of Dutch courage—”this
time of the morning, did you say? Look yonder,
and see with your own eyes whether it is morning
or not.
The cunning rogue, in order to have a good excuse
for transgressing the canons of St. Nicholas,
had so managed it, that the old clock in the corner
had run down, and now pointed to the hour of eleven,
where it remained stationary, like a rusty weathercock.
St. Nicholas knew this as well as old
Baltus himself, and could not help being mightily
tickled at this device. He told Baltus that this
being the case, with permission of his host he
would sit down by the fire and warm himself, till
it was time to set forth again, seeing he had mistaken
the hour.
Baltus, who by this time began to perceive that
there was but one visiter instead of two, now rose
from the table with much ado, and approaching the
stranger, besought him to take a seat among the
jolly revellers, seeing they were there assembled
in honour of St. Nicholas, and not out of any regard
to the lusts of the flesh. In this he was joined
by the rest of the company, so that St. Nicholas,
being a good-natured fellow, at length suffered
himself to be persuaded, whereto he was mightily
incited by the savoury fumes issuing from a huge
pitcher standing smoking in the chimney corner.
So he sat down with old Baltus, and being called on
for a toast, gave them “Old Faderland” in a bumper.
Then they had a high time of it you may be sure.
Old Baltus sang a famous song celebrating the
valour of our Dutch ancestors, and their triumph
over the mighty power of Spain after a struggle of
more than a generation, in which the meads of Holland
smoked, and her canals were red with blood.
Goeden Hemel! but I should like to have been
there, for I hope it would have been nothing unseemly
for one of my cloth to have joined in chorus
with the excellent St. Nicholas. Then they talked
about the good old times when the son who departed
from the customs of his ancestors was considered
little better than misbegotten; lamented over the
interloping of such multitudes of idle flaunting men
and women in their way to and from the springs;
the increase of taverns, the high price of everything,
and the manifold backslidings of the rising generation.
Ever and anon, old Baltus would observe
that sorrow was as dry as a corn cob, and pour out
a full bumper of the smoking beverage, until at last
it came to pass that honest Baltus and his worthy
companions, being not used to such late hours, fell
fast a sleep in their goodly armchairs, and snored
lustily in concert. Whereupon St. Nicholas, feeling
a little waggish, after putting their wigs the
hinder part before, and placing a great China bowl
upside down on the head of old Baltus, who sat
nodding like a mandarin, departed laughing ready
to split his sides. In the morning, when Baltus
and his companions awoke, and saw what a figure
they cut, they laid all the trick to the door of the
stranger, and never knew to the last day of their
lives who it was that caroused with them so lustily
on Newyear's morning.
Pursuing his way in high good humour, being
somewhat exhilarated by the stout carousal with old
Baltus and his roistering companions, St. Nicholas
in good time came into the ancient _Colonie_, which
being, as it were, at the outskirts of Fort Orange,
was inhabited by many people not well to do in
the world. He descended the chimney of an old
weatherworn house that bore evident marks of poverty,
for he is not one of those saints that hanker
after palaces and turn their backs on their friends.
It is his pleasure to seek out and administer to
the innocent gratifications of those who are obliged
to labour all the year round, and can only spare
time to be merry at Christmas and Newyear. He
is indeed the poor man's saint.
On entering the room, he was struck with the
appearance of poverty and desolation that reigned
all around. A number of little children of different
ages, but none more than ten years old, lay huddled
close together on a straw bed, which was
on the floor, their limbs intertwined to keep themselves
warm, for their covering was scant and miserable.
Yet they slept in peace, for they had quiet
countenances, and hunger seeks refuge in the oblivion
of repose. In a corner of the room stood a
miserable bed, on which lay a female, whose
face, as the moonbeams fell upon it through a
window without shutters, many panes of which
were stuffed with old rags to keep out the nipping
air of the winter night, bore evidence of
long and painful suffering. It looked like death
rather than sleep. A little pine table, a few broken
chairs, and a dresser, whose shelves were ill supplied,
constituted the remainder of the furniture
of this mansion of poverty.
As he stood contemplating the scene, his honest
old heart swelled with sorrowful compassion, saying
to himself, “God bewaar ous, but this is pitiful.”
At that moment, a little child on the straw bed cried
out in a weak voice that went to the heart of the
saint, “Mother, mother, give me to eat—I am
hungry.” St. Nicholas went to the child, but she
was fast asleep, and hunger had infected her very
dreams. The mother did not hear, for long-continued
sorrow and suffering sleep sounder than
happiness, as the waters lie stillest when the tempest
is past.
Again the little child cried out, “Mother, mother,
I am freezing—give me some more covering.”
“Be quiet, Blandina,” answered a voice deep and
hoarse, yet not unkind; and St. Nicholas, looking
around to see whence it came, beheld a man sitting
close in the chimney corner, though there was no
fire burning, his arms folded close around him, and
his head drooping on his bosom. He was clad like
one of the children of poverty, and his teeth chattered
with cold. St. Nicholas wiped his eyes, for
he was a good-hearted saint, and coming close up
to the miserable man, said to him kindly, “How
do ye, my good friend?”
“Friend,” said the other, “I have no friend but
God, and he seems to have deserted me.” As he
said this, he raised his saddened eyes to the good
saint, and after looking at him a little while, as if
he was not conscious of his presence, dropped them
again, even without asking who he was, or whence
he came, or what he wanted. Despair had deadened
his faculties, and nothing remained in his
mind but the consciousness of suffering.
“_Het is jammer, het is jammer_—it is a pity, it
is a pity!” quoth the kind-hearted saint, as he
passed his sleeve across his eyes. “But something
must be done, and that quickly too.” So he
shook the poor man somewhat roughly by the
shoulder, and cried out, “Ho! ho! what aileth thee,
son of my good old friend, honest Johannes Garrebrantze?”
This salutation seemed to rouse the poor man,
who arose upon his seat, and essaying to stand upright,
fell into the arms of St. Nicholas, who almost
believed it was a lump of ice, so cold and stiff did
it seem. Now, be it known that Providence, as a
reward for his benevolent disposition, has bestowed
on St. Nicholas the privilege of doing good without
measure to all who are deserving of his
bounty, and that by such means as he thinks proper
to the purpose. It is a power he seldom exerts
to the uttermost, except on pressing occasions,
and this he believed one of them.
Perceiving that the poor man was wellnigh frozen
to death, he called into action the supernatural
faculties which had been committed to him, and
lo! in an instant a rousing fire blazed on the hearth,
towards which the poor man, instinctively as it
were, edged his chair, and stretched out one of his
bony hands, that was as stiff as an icicle. The
light flashed so brightly in the face of the little
ones and their mother, that they awoke, and seeing
the cheerful blaze, arose in their miserable
clothing, which they had worn to aid in keeping
them warm, and hied as fast as they could to bask
in its blessed warmth. So eager were they, that
for a while they were unconscious of the presence
of a stranger, although St. Nicholas had now assumed
his proper person, that he might not be
taken for some one of those diabolical wizards
who, being always in mischief, are ashamed to
show their faces among honest people.
At length the poor man, who was called after his
father Johannes Garrebrantze, being somewhat revived
by the genial warmth of the fire, looked
around, and became aware of the presence of the
stranger, which inspired him with a secret awe, for
which he could not account, insomuch that his
voice trembled, though now he was not cold, when,
after some hesitation, he said,
“Stranger, thou art welcome to this poor house.
I would I were better able to offer thee the hospitalities
of the season, but I will wish thee a happy
Newyear, and that is all I can bestow.” The good
yffrouw, his wife, repeated the wish, and straightway
began to apologize for the untidy state of her
apartment.
“Make no apologies,” replied the excellent saint;
“I come to give, not to receive. To-night I treat,
to-morrow you may return the kindness to others.”
“I?” said Johannes Garrebrantze; “I have nothing
to bestow but good wishes, and nothing to receive
but the scorn and neglect of the world. If I
had anything to give thee to eat or drink, thou
shouldst have it with all my heart. But the newyear,
which brings jollity to the hearts of others,
brings nothing but hunger and despair to me and
mine.”
“Thou hast seen better days, I warrant thee,”
answered the saint; “for thou speakest like a
scholar of Leyden. Tell me thy story, Johannes,
my son, and we shall see whether in good time
thou wilt not hold up thy head as high as a church
steeple.”
“Alas! to what purpose, since man assuredly
has, and Heaven seems to have forsaken me.”
“Hush!” cried St. Nicholas, “Heaven never
forsakes the broken spirit, or turns a deaf ear to the
cries of innocent children. It is for the wicked
never to hope, the virtuous never to despair. I predict
thou shalt live to see better days.”
“I must see them soon then, for neither I, my
wife, nor my children have tasted food since twenty-four
hours past.”
“What! God be with us! is there such lack of
charity in the burghers of the Colonie, that they
will suffer a neighbour to starve under their very
noses? Onbegrypelik—I'll not believe it.”
“They know not my necessities.”
“No? What! hast thou no tongue to speak
them?”
“I am too proud to beg.”
“And too lazy to work,” cried St. Nicholas, in a
severe tone.
“Look you,” answered the other, holding up his
right arm with his left, and showing that the sinews
were stiffened by rheumatism.
“Is it so, my friend? Well, but thou mightst
still have bent thy spirit to ask charity for thy
starving wife and children, though, in truth, begging
is the last thing an honest man ought to stoop to.
But Goeden Hemel! here am I talking while thou
and thine are perishing with hunger.”
Saying which, St. Nicholas straightway bade the
good yffrouw to bring forth the little pine table,
which she did, making divers apologies for the
want of a tablecloth; and when she had done so,
he incontinently spread out upon it such store of
good things from his little cart, as made the hungry
childrens' mouths to water, and smote the hearts
of their parents with joyful thanksgivings. “Eat,
drink, and be merry,” said St. Nicholas, “for to-morrow
thou shalt not die, but live.”
The heart of the good saint expanded, like as the
morning-glory does to the first rays of the sun,
while he sat rubbing his hands at seeing them eat
with such a zest, as made him almost think it was
worth while to be hungry in order to enjoy such
triumphant satisfaction. When they had done, and
returned their pious thanks to Heaven and the
good stranger, St. Nicholas willed the honest man
to expound the causes which had brought him to
his present deplorable condition. “My own folly,”
said he; and the other sagely replied, “I thought
as much. Beshrew me, friend, if in all my experience,
and I have lived long, and seen much, I ever
encountered distress and poverty that could not be
traced to its source in folly or vice. Heaven is too
bountiful to entail misery on its creatures, save
through their own transgressions. But I pray thee,
go on with thy story.”
The good man then went on to relate that his
father, old Johannes Garrebrantze—
“Ah!” quoth St. Nicholas, “I knew him well.
He was an honest man, and that, in these times of
all sorts of improvements, except in mind and morals,
is little less than miraculous. But I interrupt
thee, friend—proceed with thy story, once more.”
The son of Johannes again resumed his story,
and related how his father had left him a competent
estate in the _Colonie_, on which he lived in good
credit, and in the enjoyment of a reasonable competency,
with his wife and children, until within a
few years past, when seeing a vast number of
three-story houses, with folding doors and marble
mantelpieces rising up all around him, he began to
be ashamed of his little one-story house with the
gable end to the street, and—
“Ah! Johannes,” interrupted the pale wife, “do
not spare me. It was I that in the vanity of my
heart put such notions in thy head. It was I that
tempted thee.”
“It was the duyvel,” muttered St.Nicholas, “in
the shape of a pretty wife.”
Johannes gave his helpmate a look of affectionate
forgiveness, and went on to tell St. Nicholas how,
finally egged on by the evil example of his neighbours,
he had at last committed sacrilege against
his household gods, and pulled down the home of
his fathers, commencing a new one on its ruins.
“Donderdag!” quoth the saint to himself; “and
the bricks came from faderland too!”
When Johannes had about half finished his new
house, he discovered one day, to his great astonishment
and dismay, that all his money, which he had
been saving for his children, was gone. His strong
box was empty, and his house but half finished,
although, after estimating the cost, he had allowed
one third more in order to be sure in the business.
Johannes was now at a dead stand. The idea
of borrowing money and running in debt never entered
his head before, and probably would not
now, had it not been suggested to him by a
neighbour, a great speculator, who had lately built a
whole street of houses, not a single brick of which
belonged to him in reality. He had borrowed the
money, mortgaged the property, and expected to
grow rich by a sudden rise. Poor Johannes
may be excused for listening to the seductions of
this losel varlet, seeing he had a house half finished
on his hands; but whether so or not, he did
listen and was betrayed into borrowing money of
a bank just then established in the _Colonie_ on a
capital paid in according to law—that is, not paid at
all—the directors of which were very anxious to
exchange their rags for lands and houses.
Johannes finished his house in glorious style,
and having opened this new mine of wealth, furnished
it still more gloriously; and as it would
have been sheer nonsense not to live gloriously in
such a glorious establishment, spent thrice his income
in order to keep up his respectability. He
was going on swimmingly, when what is called a
reaction took place; which means, as far as I can
understand, that the bank directors, having been
pleased to make money plenty to increase their
dividends, are pleased thereafter to make it scarce
for the same purpose. Instead of lending it in the
name of the bank, it is credibly reported they do
it through certain brokers, who charge lawful interest
and unlawful commission, and thus cheat
the law with a clear conscience. But I thank
Heaven devoutly that I know nothing of their
wicked mysteries, and therefore will say no more
about them.
Be this as it may, Johannes was called upon all
of a sudden to pay his notes to the bank, for the
reaction had commenced, and there was no more
renewals. The directors wanted all the money to
lend out at three per cent. a month. It became
necessary to raise the wind, as they say in Wall-street,
and Johannes, by the advice of his good
friend the speculative genius, went with him to a
certain money lender of his acquaintance, who was
reckoned a good Christian, because he always
charged most usury where there was the greatest
necessity for a loan. To a rich man he would lend
at something like a reasonable interest, but to a man
in great distress for money he showed about as
much mercy as a weazel does to a chicken. He
sucked their blood till there was not a drop left in
their bodies. This he did six days in the week,
and on the seventh went three times to church, to
enable him to begin the next week with a clear conscience.
Beshrew such varlets, I say; they bring
religion itself into disrepute, and add the sin of hypocrisy
to men to that of insult to Heaven.
Suffice it to say, that poor Johannes Garrebrantze
the younger went down hill faster than he ever went
up in his life; and inasmuch as I scorn these details
of petty roguery as unworthy of my cloth and calling,
I shall content myself with merely premising, that
by a process very common nowadays, the poor
man was speedily bereft of all the patrimony left
him by his worthy father in paying commission to
the money lender. He finally became bankrupt;
and inasmuch as he was unacquainted with the
mystery of getting rich by such a manœuvre, was
left without a shilling in the world. He retired
from his fine house, which was forthwith occupied
by his good friend the money lender, whose nose
had been tweaked by St. Nicholas, as heretofore
recorded, and took refuge in the wretched building
where he was found by that benevolent worthy.
Destitute of resources, and entirely unacquainted
with the art of living by his wits or his labours,
though he tried hard both ways, poor Johannes became
gradually steeped in poverty to the very lips,
and being totally disabled by rheumatism, might,
peradventure, with all his family, have perished that
very night, had not Providence mercifully sent the
good St. Nicholas to their relief.
“_Wat donderdag!_” exclaimed the saint, when he
had done—”_wat donderdag!_—was that your house
down yonder, with the fine bedroom, the wardrobes,
the looking-glass as big as the moon, and the bedstead
with a cocked hat and feathers?”
“Even so,” replied the other, hanging down his
head.
“_Is het mogelyk!_” And after considering a little
while, the good saint slapped his hand on the table,
broke forth again—“By donderdag, but I'll soon
settle this business.”
He then began to hum an old Dutch hymn, which
by its soothing and wholesome monotony so operated
upon Johannes and his family, that one and
all fell fast asleep in their chairs.
The good St. Nicholas then lighted his pipe, and
seating himself by the fire, revolved in his mind
the best mode of proceeding on this occasion. At
first he determined to divest the rich money lender
of all his ill-gotten gains, and bestow them on poor
Johannes and his family. But when he considered
that the losel caitiff was already sufficiently punished
in being condemned to the sordid toils of
money making, and in the privation of all those
social and benevolent feelings which, while they
contribute to our own happiness, administer to that
of others; that he was for ever beset with the consuming
cares of avarice, the hope of gain, and the
fear of losses; and that, rich as he was, he suffered
all the gnawing pangs of an insatiable desire for
more—when he considered all this, St. Nicholas
decided to leave him to the certain punishment of
ill-gotten wealth, and the chances of losing it by an
over craving appetite for its increase, which sooner
or later produces all the consequences of reckless
imprudence.
“Let the splutterkin alone,” thought St. Nicholas,
“and he will become the instrument of his
own punishment.”
Then he went on to think what he should do for
poor Johannes and his little children. Though he
had been severely punished for his folly, yet did
the good saint, who in his nightly holyday peregrinations
had seen more of human life and human
passions than the sun ever shone upon, very well
know that sudden wealth, or sudden poverty, is a
sore trial of the heart of man, in like manner as the
sudden transition from light to darkness, or darkness
to light, produces a temporary blindness. It
was true that Johannes had received a severe lesson,
but the great mass of mankind are prone to
forget the chastening rod of experience, as they do
the pangs of sickness when they are past. He
therefore settled in his mind, that the return of Johannes
to competence and prosperity should be by
the salutary process of his own exertions, and that
he should learn their value by the pains it cost to
attain them. “_Het is goed visschen in troebel
water_,” quoth he, “for then a man knows the value
of what he catches.”
It was broad daylight before he had finished his
pipe and his cogitations, and placing his old polished
delft pipe carefully in his buttonhole, the good
saint sallied forth, leaving Johannes and his family
still fast asleep in their chairs. Directly opposite
the miserable abode of Johannes there dwelt a little
fat Dutchman, of a reasonable competency,
who had all his life manfully stemmed the torrent
of modern innovation. He eschewed all sorts of
paper money as an invention of people without
property to get hold of those that had it; abhorred
the practice of widening streets; and despised in
his heart all public improvements except canals,
a sneaking notion for which he inherited from
old faderland. He was honest as the light of the
blessed sun; and though he opened his best parlour
but twice a year to have it cleaned and put
to rights, yet this I will say of him, that the poor
man who wanted a dinner was never turned away
from his table. The worthy burgher was standing
at the street door, which opened in the middle, and
leaning over the lower half, so that the smoke of
his pipe ascended in the clear frosty morning in a
little white column far into the sky before it was
dissipated.
St. Nicholas stopped his wagon right before his
door, and cried out in a clear hearty voice,
“Good-morning, good-morning, mynheer; and a
happy Newyear to you.”
“Good-morning,” cried the hale old burgher,
“and many happy Newyears to _you_. Hast got
any good fat hen turkies to sell?” for he took him
for a countryman coming in to market. St. Nicholas
answered and said that he had been on a different
errand that morning; and the other cordially
invited him to alight, come in, and take a glass
of hot spiced rum, with the which it was his custom
to regale all comers at the jolly Newyear.
The invitation was frankly accepted, for the worthy
St. Nicholas, though no toper, was never a
member of the temperance society. He chose
to be keeper of his own conscience, and was of
opinion that a man who is obliged to sign an obligation
not to drink, will be very likely to break it
the first convenient opportunity.
As they sat cozily together, by a rousing fire of
wholesome and enlivening hickory, the little plump
Dutchman occasionally inveighing stoutly against
paper money, railroads, improving streets, and the
like, the compassionate saint took occasion to utter
a wish that the poor man over the way and his
starving family had some of the good things that
were so rife on Newyear's day, for he had occasion
to know that they were suffering all the evils of
the most abject poverty.
“The splutterkin,” exclaimed the little fat burgher—”he
is as proud as Lucifer himself. I had a
suspicion of this, and sought divers occasions to get
acquainted with him, that I might have some excuse
for prying into his necessities, and take the privilege
of an old neighbour to relieve them. But _vuur en
vlammen_! would you believe it—he avoided me
just as if he owed me money, and couldn't pay.”
St. Nicholas observed that if it was ever excusable
for a man to be proud, it was when he fell into
a state where every one, high and low, worthless
and honourable, looked down upon him with contempt.
Then he related to him the story of poor
Johannes, and taking from his pocket a heavy purse,
he offered it to the worthy old burgher, who swore
he would be dondered if he wanted any of his
money.
“But hearken to me,” said the saint; “yon foolish
lad is the son of an old friend of mine, who did me
many a kindness in his day, for which I am willing
to requite his posterity. Thou shalt take this purse
and bestow a small portion of it, as from thyself,
as a loan from time to time, as thou seest he deserves
it by his exertions. It may happen, as I hope
it will, that in good time he will acquire again the
competency he hath lost by his own folly and inexperience;
and as he began the world a worthy, respectable
citizen, I beseech thee to do this—to be
his friend, and to watch over him and his little ones,
in the name of St. Nicholas.”
The portly Burgher promised that he would,
and they parted with marvellous civility, St. Nicholas
having promised to visit him again should his
life be spared. He then mounted his little wagon,
and the little Dutchman having turned his head for
an instant, when he looked again could see nothing
of the saint or his equipage. “_Is het mogelyk!_”
exclaimed he, and his mind misgave him that there
was something unaccountable in the matter.
My story is already too long, peradventure, else
would I describe the astonishment of Johannes and
his wife when they awoke and found the benevolent
stranger had departed without bidding them farewell.
They would have thought all that had passed
was but a dream, had not the fragments of the good
things on which they regaled during the night bore
testimony to its reality. Neither will I detail how,
step by step, aided by the advice and countenance
of the worthy little Dutchman, and the judicious
manner of his dispensing the bounty of St. Nicholas,
Johannes Garrebrantze, by a course of industry,
economy, and integrity, at length attained once again
the station he had lost by his follies and extravagance.
Suffice it to say, that though he practised
a rational self-denial in all his outlayings, he neither
became a miser, nor did he value money except as
the means of obtaining the comforts of life, and
administering to the happiness of others.
In the mean time, the money lender, not being
content with the wealth he had obtained by taking
undue advantage of the distresses of others, and
becoming every day more greedy, launched out into
mighty speculations. He founded a score of towns
without any houses in them; dealt by hundreds of
thousands in fancy stocks; and finally became the
victim of one of his own speculations, by in time
coming to believe in the very deceptions he had
practised upon others. It is an old saying, that the
greatest rogue in the world, sooner or latter, meets
with his match, and so it happened with the money
lender. He was seduced into the purchase of a
town without any houses in it, at an expense of
millions; was met by one of those reactions that
play the mischief with honest labourers, and thus
finally perished in a bottomless pit of his own digging.
Finding himself sinking, he resorted to forgeries,
and had by this means raised money to such
an amount, that his villany almost approached to
sublimity. His property, as the phrase is, came
under the hammer, and Johannes purchased his
own house at half the price it cost him in building.
The good St. Nicholas trembled at the new ordeal
to which Johannes had subjected himself; but
finding, when he visited him, as he did regularly
every Newyear's eve, that he was cured of his foolish
vanities, and that his wife was one of the best
housekeepers in all Fort Orange, he discarded his
apprehensions, and rejoiced in the prosperity that
was borne so meekly and wisely. The little fat
Dutchman lived a long time in expectation that the
stranger in the one-horse wagon would come for
the payment of his purse of money; but finding that
year after year rolled away without his appearing,
often said to himself, as he sat on his stoop with a
pipe in his mouth,
“I'll be dondered if I don't believe it was the
good St. Nicholas.”
THE END.
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