The Book Of Anecdotes

About this eBook

Author

Various

Title

The Book of Anecdotes and Budget of Fun; containing a collection of over one thousand of the most laughable sayings and jokes of celebrated wits and humorists.

Credits

Produced by Chuck Greif, Patricia Ann Doyle Saumell and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at www.pgdp.net

Language

English

LoC Class

PN: Language and Literatures: Literature: General, Criticism, Collections

Subject

Anecdotes

Category

Text

eBook-No.

29419

Project Gutenberg

https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/29419

Release Date

July 15, 2009

Copyright

Public domain in the USA.

Contents

1. 1.BOOK OF ANECDOTES, — BUDGET OF FUN;
2. 2.ONE THOUSAND — PREFACE. — BOOK OF ANECDOTES, — BUDGET OF FUN — LORD MANSFIELD AND HIS COACHMAN. — A DISCLAIMER. — A CONSIDERATE DARKIE. — OCULAR DEMONSTRATION. — A SUFFICIENT REASON. — INCONSIDERATE CLEANLINESS. — YANKEE THRIFT. — SAFE MAN. — A PAIR OF HUSBANDS. — ART CRITICISM. — CUTTING A SWELL. — TALLEYRAND. — THAT'S NOTHING. — LARGE POCKET-BOOK. — DEGRADATION. — DEAF TO HIS OWN CALL. — DR. PARR. — GOOD. — I'LL VOTE FOR THE OTHER MAN. — THE HEIGHT OF IMPUDENCE. — DECLINING AN OFFICE. — GOOD WITNESSES. — TALLEYRAND'S WIT. — A FIGHTING FOWL. — ELEPHANT. — "THE LAST WAR." — KISSES. — AMERICAN WONDERS. — NO HARM. — TAKEN DOWN A PEG. — DUTCH MARRIAGE. — SAVE THE MATERIAL. — BE DISCREET. — TRAVELER'S TALE. — AN OPINION. — GARRICK. — JONATHAN'S LAST. — METAPHYSICS. — FORENSIC ELOQUENCE. — A DEFINITION IN POLITICAL ECONOMY. — COULDN'T UNDERSTAND. — GREAT CALF. — GO IN AND WIN. — NOT HERE. — GENTLEMEN AND THEIR DEBTS. — CHARLES JAMES FOX AND HIS FRIEND. — MINISTERIAL DRINKING. — PARR AND ERSKINE. — SENATORIAL PECULIARITY. — FAMILY FLEAS. — PULPIT PLEASANTRY. — AFFECTIONATE HUSBAND. — BRUMMELL. — BATHOS. — DANGEROUS VISITS. — NONSENSE. — CONCEIT. — KISSING BY PROXY. — A BARGAIN. — CONUNDRUMS. — READY REPLY. — A YANKEE PRAYER. — CHIEF JUSTICE BUSHE. — PRESENCE OF MIND. — GLORY WITHOUT DANGER. — LORD CHESTERFIELD. — UNANIMITY. — SIMPLICITY. — PATRIOTISM AND LIBERALITY. — SHERIDAN. — THE WAY TO WIN A KISS. — A BUTCHER'S COMPLIMENT. — DRUNKENNESS. — CAN'T BE BEAT. — MRS. RAMSBOTTOM'S LETTER FROM PARIS.[ * ] — VERY BUSY. — JOHN BULL. — YANKEE INGENUITY. — COMFORTABLE. — HORNE TOOKE. — LAMB AND ERSKINE. — THE TRUTH TOLD BY MISTAKE. — TALLEYRAND'S WIT. — BUSSING. — WANTED. — NATIONAL SCHOOL SCENES. — MRS. PARTINGTON. — AN HIBERNIAN M. P. — MODESTY. — AMERICAN TOAST. — PASSING A COUNTERFEIT. — LORD CHESTERFIELD. — A PENNY. — JOHNSON. — CLEVER LAMPOON. — IN HIS SHIRT SLEEVES. — A MORMON PREACHER. — JOHN KEMBLE. — A SURPRISE. — QUEER DUEL. — LAWYERS. — A FRENCHMAN PUZZLED WITH THE WORD "BOX." — ABSURDITIES. — GOOD REASON. — PUTTING DOWN A LADY. — WOMAN'S RIGHTS. — A COMPROMISE. — ELECTION MORALS. — A QUANDARY. — ELEGANT EXTRACT. — EVIDENCE OF A JOCKEY. — THE CAPE COD YANKEE. — JOSEPH AND POTIPHAR'S WIFE. — SHE DIDN'T TAKE ANY. — DEFINITIONS. — CHANCERY. — SMART UNS. — MRS. PARTINGTON. — TO THOSE ABOUT TO GO TO LAW. — ERROR CORRECTED. — A QUERY. — BACKGAMMON. — TALLEYRAND AGAIN. — AN EVENING PARTY. — SAM SLICK HOOKING LUCY'S GOWN. — A GREAT CALF. — TAXATION. — AN ITINERANT MARTYR. — SEE—SAW. — FELLOW-FEELING. — MISAPPLICATION OF WORDS BY FOREIGNERS. — WHAT IS A SPOON? — A CERTIFICATE OF MARRIAGE. — UNFAIR ADVANTAGE. — TWO-FOLD ILLUSTRATION. — A YANKEE STORY. — ANCIENT DESCENT. — BAD'S THE BEST. — QUEER DUELS. — PROVOKING. — TEACHING A FOREIGNER TO SPEAK ENGLISH. — PHILOSOPHY. — INGENIOUS ADVERTISEMENT. — CURIOUS CONVEYANCE. — SMOKING MANNERS. — LANDSEER AND SIDNEY SMITH. — SPECKLED BUTTER. — A LOGICAL BAGGAGE MASTER. — A PHYSICIAN'S LIFE. — A CONSTELLATION. — INTEREST. — FLATFOOTED COURTSHIP. — AMUSING INCIDENT IN COURT. — BAD DINNER. — PRINTER AND DUTCHMAN. — TRUTH STRANGER THAN FICTION. — TELLING ONE'S AGE. — ALL FLESH IS DUST. — TALLEYRAND. — KITCHINER AND COLMAN. — CREDIT. — SWIFT. — ALL CORNED. — THE SEWING MACHINE. — POLITENESS. — GEORGE SELWYN. — CHANCERY PUN. — KILTS. — LORD ELLENBOROUGH. — EVIDENCE. — AN UP AND DOWN REPLY. — SNORING. — TANNING. — A PRINTER IN COURT. — TAKING THE PAPER. — IMPRESSIVE DISCOURSE. — HOW "GEORGE" BECAME A TEETOTALER. — BISHOP BURNET. — ANA FROM "MOORE'S LIFE." — CATCHUP QUESTION. — A REBUKE. — A GENTLEMAN. — MODESTY. — NATIONAL PARADOXES. — A DUTCH JURY. — A YELLOW FEVER JOKE. — LET OFF. — COMPLIMENTARY. — KEEN RETORT. — THE AUCTIONEER AT HOME. — SACKS AND BAGS. — ITERATION. — QUID PRO QUO. — HARD SQUEEZING. — PAT'S RESPONSE. — WANTED SATISFACTION. — MEAN vs. MEANS. — WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR HOUSE. — GENEROUS CHILD. — ALL THE RECIPROCATING ON ONE SIDE. — HOW HE MEANT TO DO BETTER. — DUTCH SOLILOQUY. — JUST ALIKE. — STORY OF A WIG. — A SINGULAR FORGIVENESS. — CABBAGE AND DITTO. — FLAG AT HALF-MAST. — LONGFELLOW. — A SORREL SHEEP. — EDITORIALS. — COMPENSATION. — JUST RIGHT. — FUNNY MISTAKE. — FILIAL AFFECTION. — DEFINITE INFORMATION. — FRENCHMEN'S ENGLISH. — ADMIRAL DUNCAN. — TOM DIBDIN'S TOAST. — KICKING A YANKEE. — DANCING THEIR RAGS OFF. — DISINTERESTED ADVICE. — AN EDITOR DREAMING ON WEDDING CAKE. — PAT QUERY. — FRIENDLY VISITS. — REMOTE. — A CAT STORY. — CONUNDRUMS. — LOVE. — THE THIEF AND THE DUKE. — LOSS OF TIME. — UNEXPECTED REPLY. — GENEROUS. — FRIENDLY BANTER. — TAKING A RECEIPT. — KIND FATHER. — DESTROYING THE ROMANCE. — DOING A YANKEE. — DROVERS vs. FOPS. — STORY OF AN ALMANAC MAKER. — HOW TO BOARD AND LODGE IN NEW YORK. — NEVER SAY DIE. — HOW TO BECOME A CONNOISSEUR. — BOOTS. — SOUR KROUT. — CONFESSION. — A HAY FIELD ANECDOTE. — WHY BROTHER DICKSON LEFT THE CHURCH. — FORESIGHT. — VICE VERSA. — HUMAN NATURE. — JOHN KEMBLE. — CONFESSION. — A SLEEPY DEACON. — LOST IN A FOG. — NO MISTAKE. — RESPECT FOR APPEARANCES. — MAKING THE RESPONSES. — PERSONAL IDENTITY. — IKE PARTINGTON AND PUGILISM. — GEORGE SELWYN. — PROMPT REPLY. — DIVISION OF TIME. — A GROOM. — IN A QUIVER. — SATISFACTORY ANSWERS. — BARON ROTHSCHILD. — MRS. CAUDLE'S UMBRELLA. — FOLLOW YOUR NOSE. — LORENZO DOW. — SMART WAITER. — COULDN'T FIND IT OUT. — CAUGHT ON A JURY. — A CURE BY LAUGHTER. — GOOD PRAYER. — NON SUM QUALIS ERAM. — ONE SWALLOW DOES NOT MAKE A SUMMER. — CLASSICAL BULL. MILTON. — GIVE THE DEVIL HIS DUE. — A SOUND REASON. — MODERN IMPROVEMENTS. — A HOOSIER AT THE ASTOR. — ECONOMY. — QUAKER vs. QUAKER. — HEM vs. HAW. — POETRY DONE TO ORDER. — THE RIVAL CANDIDATES. — PARLIAMENTARY ORATORY. — A BROAD HINT. — PARLIAMENTARY ORATORY. — A SEVERE REPROOF. — CANINE LEARNING. — A STRATAGEM. — A NECESSARY HINT. — A REASON. — CAPITAL JOKES. — RAPID TRAVELING. — A MISAPPELLATION. — CONNUBIAL BLISS. — QUICK FIRING. — THE HARDSHIPS OF LIFE. — SYMPTOMS OF CIVILIZATION. — AN IMPROVEMENT. — A SENTIMENTAL FOSSIL. — AN INSCRIPTION. — PUN ALPHABETICAL. — SHAKSPEAREAN COOKERY. — A REPROOF. — A REASONABLE BILL. — A PARTNERSHIP. — LIFE INSURANCE. — AN IRISH NOTICE. — MOUTHS AND MEAT. — THE BENEFIT OF LYING. — A BROAD HINT. — PREFERMENT. — SHOES MISUSED. — A SUPPOSITION. — A CHARACTER SUPPORTED. — AN ESPECIAL FAVOR. — A CHARM. — SHORT DIALOGUE. — A BLUNT WITNESS. — QUESTION SOLVED. — SCOTTISH THEATRICALS. — THE CUNNING FOOL. — THE DEAN INSTRUCTED. — ADVICE. — MIRACLE OF MIRACLES. — CREDAT JUDÆUS APELLA, NON EGO. — WARNING. — IRISH RECRUITING. — SCENE IN A POLICE OFFICE. — CHEAP TRAVELING. — NAUTICAL POLEMICS. — THE BEST CUSTOMERS. — A WEST INDIA LEGISLATOR. — THY OWN MOUTH SHALL CONDEMN THEE. — AVOID ALL OFFENCE. — A LIBERAL PRICE. — A PRECEDENT. — A CONVENIENT NAP. — LITERARY CORRESPONDENCE. — A PROPER ADDRESS. — A DEBT OF HONOR. — A RELIC. — STUPIDITY PERSONIFIED. — THE DIFFICULTY SURMOUNTED. — HUMOROUS MISTAKES. — SLEEPING IN CHURCH. — ECONOMY. — A CONSTELLATION OF BULLS. — THE LOGICIAN REWARDED. — DOUBLE PUNISHMENT. — REASON AND A PROVERB EXPLAINED. — A GENERAL COMPLAINT. — COOLNESS IN ACTION. — A CAUTION. — IMPROVEMENT. — AN AMENDMENT. — THE LEARNED DOG. — CAUSE OF BULLS. — MOT-MALIN. — AS THE FOOL THINKS THE BELL CLINKS. — A DOUBLE ENTENDRE. — REASON ON BOTH SIDES. — SELF TAUGHT GENIUS. — AN ARTFUL REQUEST. — A FELONY. — CONVINCING EVIDENCE. — TOO BAD. — PARLIAMENTARY BULL. — ANOTHER. — CLASSICAL BULL. MILTON. — ANOTHER. SHAKSPEARE. — ANOTHER. DR. JOHNSON. — CLASSICAL BULL. DR. JOHNSON. — ANOTHER. Ibid. — ANOTHER. Ibid. — ANOTHER. Ibid. — ANOTHER. DRYDEN. — ANOTHER. POPE. — DEPRAVITY OF THE AGE. — THE SIGNAL. — A LONG BOW. — GOOD HUMOR RESTORED. — THE REVERSE. — STERLING COMPOSITION. — A CARD PUN. — A WHIMSICAL IDEA. — AN IRISH SOLDIER'S QUARTERS. — THAT'S SO. — A MARSHAL HUMBLED. — A COURTLY COMPLIMENT. — A CONGRATULATION. — ALGERINE WIT. — A ROYAL DECISION. — FELLOW FEELING. — UNREASONABLE FASTING. — A WHIMSICAL IDEA. — THE BREECHES-MAKER CAPTAIN. — TIT FOR TAT. — SOUND ARGUMENT. — INGRATITUDE. — REASONS FOR DRAM-DRINKING. — SMUGGLING. — A MIS-UNDER-STANDING. — THE DOUBLE BULL. — IRISH DREAMING. — THE PROVIDENT WIFE. — THE COCKNEY'S BAGGAGE. — EQUIVOQUE. — THE LOST FOUND. — A FILLIP TO A KING. — A MERITED REWARD. — COCKNEYISM. — A STORY APPLIED. — AMOR PATRIÆ. — A QUAKER JOKE. — A ROYAL PHYSICIAN. — A SELFISH PUN. — SYMPATHY. — MATERNAL ADVICE. — PROVERBS APPLIED. — PROOF OF YORKSHIRE. — SCOTCH WEATHER. — AN OBSERVATION EXEMPLIFIED. — TIT FOR TAT. — THE REGRET. — NOT TO BE TWICE DECEIVED. — MURDER AND SUICIDE. — A CHALLENGE. — A QUALIFICATION. — QUICK WORK. — NON COMMITTAL. — GRIEF. — JUDICIOUS REMARK. — A KNOTTY PUN. — RETORT FROM A CHILD. — AN APT SCHOLAR. — CLASSICAL BULL. POPE. — ANOTHER. HOME. — A ROWLAND FOR AN OLIVER. — SLANG. — SCIENTIFIC DISTINCTIONS. — CORPORAL PUNISHMENT. — AN APOLOGY. — BLINDNESS vs. SIGHT. — A RETORT. — A CHRISTIAN PRECEPT. — VANITY HUMBLED. — A LESSON. — A LEGISLATOR. — DEAR WINE. — A GOOD HIT. — SPENDING TIME. — THE LESSON PROFITED BY. — BLACK WORK WELL PAID. — PROOF OF IDENTITY. — NO LOSS FOR AN EXCUSE. — THE GENERAL CHALLENGED. — A QUESTION ANSWERED. — A COUNSELLOR. — AN HIBERNIAN CAPTURE. — A BON BOUCHE. — CAN'T BE WORSE. — VIRTUE CHEAP. — THOROUGH WORK. — NOT TO BE DONE BROWN. — FITNESS OF THINGS. — LETTING ON. — AN INFALLIBLE RECEIPT. — AN APT SCHOLAR. — PROPENSITIES. — UNCONSCIONABLE EXPECTATION. — A CASE OF ALARM. — INDIAN FINESSE. — ECONOMICAL. — GOOD TOAST. — NEW CAUSE OF IMPRISONMENT. — THE BISHOP ANSWERED. — SIMPLICITY vs. WIT. — AN ELIGIBLE CORPS. — AN INVITATION. — AN ARCH QUESTION. — IF THE CAP FITS. — A PRIVILEGED PLACE. — ADVANTAGE OF SPECTACLES. — A RARE BIT. — SHAKSPEARE QUOTED. — CAUTION TO GAMESTERS. — AT THE BAR. — HOCK. — DORIC WIT. — FAMILY LIKENESS. — ACTUAL EXPERIMENT. — A TREMENDOUS THREAT. — INQUISITIVE. — GRAFTING. — IN ORDERS. — NO STRANGER. — BOTH ONE. — PRESS AND SQUEEZE. — TOO MUCH OF A GOOD THING. — LONG NOSE. — RIDING DOUBLE. — BEGIN RIGHT. — INTERVIEW BETWEEN THE EDITOR AND PHŒNIX. — INCREDULITY. — A SECOND METHUSELAH. — A SCHOOL TEACHER. — POSTHUMOUS HONOR. — THE ANTIGALLICAN. — SWEET DEFINITION. — COULDN'T AFFORD IT. — PULL DEVIL—PULL BAKER. — PROVOKING. — WHEN PRESIDENTS DINE. — COOK'S STRIKE. — BAD STATE. — PRESENCE OF MIND. — EXTRAVAGANCE. — SOMEWHERE. — GOOD SHOT. — ORIENTAL WIT. — BAD LIGHTS. — PAIR OF SPECTACLES. — SMART GIRL. — CROOKED STICK. — A CLINCHER. — A MISCONCEPTION. — SQUIBOB'S ANTIDOTE FOR FLEAS. — THE OBSEQUIOUS CARPENTER. — A DOUBLE ENTENDRE. — A REPROOF. — A GOOD TURN. — A DISTINCTION. — CONSOLATION. — RESULT OF KISSING THE BUTCHER. — NOT YOU BUT I. — MY BROTHER'S HUNTING-LODGE. — A PARTNERSHIP. — A WIT FOR LADIES. — A BRAGGADOCIO REPROVED. — MRS. MUNCHAUSEN. — OLD BABES. — A SELL. — A SELL. — PRACTICAL JOKING. — SOLITUDE. — SPEAKING OUT IN DREAMS. — GOODBYE. — MELANCHOLY ACCIDENT.—DEATH OF A YOUNG MAN. — CASUISTICAL ARITHMETIC. — JOHNSONIAN ADVICE. — BLUNDERS OF SIR BOYLE ROCHE. — A PLACEMAN. — LET US START FAIR. — DEGREES OF COMPARISON. — A MISUNDERSTANDING. — A STORY TELLER. — A RETORT. — A LOUD LETTER. — GO THE WHOLE. — SHARP BOY. — HIGH FAMILY. — SETTLING. — CAUSE OF REGRET. — THE PROPER PERSON. — AN AWKWARD SITUATION. — CALL AGAIN TO-MORROW. — JOKE FROM HARPER'S DRAWER. — ARMOND. — MRS. PARTINGTON'S VERY LAST. — ADORATION. — NAUGHTY CHARLES LAMB. — TOO GREEN. — HIGH COMPANY. — EMPHASIS. — A FORGETFUL MAN. — AN ACUTE HINT. — COCKNEY NARRATIVE. — SINCERE REGRET. — HARD CASE. — BIG WORDS. — LACONIC AND DECISIVE. — THEATRICAL CRITICISM. — A MISTAKE. — CONSOLATION. — SEVERAL NEGATIVES. — DIFFERENT LINES. — NEGRO WIT. — THEATRICAL BON-MOT. — CONCISENESS. — ALLIES WILL FALL OUT. — CATCHING A TARTAR. — ANTIGALLICAN. — IMPRACTICABILITY. — A DIALOGUE. — AN UNLUCKY COMPLIMENT. — A COMMAND ANTICIPATED. — A SMALL MISTAKE. — A HOME TRUTH. — SHINING WIT. — A FATAL STEP PREVENTED. — A COMMON ERROR CORRECTED. — A YANKEE JUDGE AND A KENTUCKY LAWYER. — JUDGE PETERS. — WITTY APOLOGY. — BENEVOLENCE. — MRS. PARTINGTON ON EDUCATION. — OBEYING ORDERS. — A REASON. — CANVASSING. — WIT OF AN IRISH JARVEY. — A CONSEQUENCE. — A SEA CHAPLAIN. — THE MODEST BARRISTER. — A DISTINCTION. — CONSEQUENCE. — PROOF OF CIVILIZATION. — MAN AND BEAST. — SATISFACTORY PROOF. — LANGUAGES CHARACTERIZED. — CON. OF THE SILVER FORK SCHOOL. — DOG-FANCYING; OR INJURED INNOCENCE. — A SCOTCHMAN'S CONSOLATION. — THE COALHEAVER AND THE FINE ARTS. — RETORT COURTEOUS. — TEACH YOUR GRANDMOTHER TO SUCK AN EGG. — ACCOMMODATING BOARDER. — ACCOMMODATING COOK. — GOOD SHOT. — BILLINGSGATE RHETORIC. — HANG TOGETHER OR HANG SEPARATELY. — WEBSTER MATCHED BY A WOMAN. — A TEMPERANCE LECTURE. — A DARNED SUBJECT. — GO IT. — TAPPING. — DIAMOND CUT DIAMOND. — A HIGH AUTHORITY. — MISTAKEN THIS TIME. — ONE OF THE BOYS. — BOY ALL OVER. — PREPARATION FOR DINING. — POETRY AND PRIGGING. — NAUTICAL SERMON. — BREVET MAJOR. — ADVERTIZING HIGH. — COULDN'T BELIEVE IT. — LARGE SNAKE. — DANGERS OF DUSTING; OR, MORE BEAUTIES OF MODERN LEGISLATION. — ARBOREAL. — EXPLICIT. — BAD COUGH. — JUSTICE. — POSTHUMOUS. — AN INSTANCE OF REMARKABLE COOLNESS. — LIBERALITY. — PEDANTRY REPROVED. — BON MOT. — CAUSE OF GRIEF. — WHERE YOU OUGHT TO HAVE BEEN. — COUNSEL AND WITNESS. — WORKING A PASSAGE. — TIMOTHY DEXTER. — TELEGRAPH. — CONUNDRUMS. — NEAT REPLY. — ON THE STUMP. — LITERARY HUSBAND. — ECONOMY. — A TRICK. — QUICK TIME. — STRONG AFFECTION. — VERY AFFECTING. — HARD SHAVE. — COULDN'T TELL HIS FATHER. — A SAUCY DOCTOR. — EXPOSING A PARSON. — NATURAL HISTORY.

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