CONCETTA'S history—or rather Queenie's, for it was by this name that
she begged Sylvia to call her now—had been a mixture of splendor,
misery, and violence during the six years that, almost to a day, had
elapsed since they met for the first time at Granada. She told it in the
creeping light of a wet dawn while the train was passing through a flat,
colorless country, and while in a corner of the compartment Lottie's
snores rose above the noise, told it in the breathless, disjointed style
that was so poignantly familiar to the one who listened. There was
something ghostly for Sylvia in this experience; it was as if she sat
opposite a Galatea of her own creation, a doubleganger from her own
brain, a dream prolonged into the cold reality of the morning. All the
time that she was listening she had a sensation of being told about
events that she ought to know already, as if in a trance she herself had
lived this history through before; and so vivid was the sensation that
when there were unexplained gaps in Queenie's narrative she found
herself puzzling her own brain to fill them in from experience of her
own, the recollection of which had been clouded by some accident.
When Queenie told how she was carried away by Zozo from Mrs.
Gainsborough at the railway station of Granada, she gave the impression
of having yielded to a magical and irresistible influence, and it was
evident that for a long while the personality of the juggler had swayed
her destiny by a hypnotic power that was only broken when he wounded her
with the pistol-shot. Even now, after three years of freedom, his
influence, when she began to talk of him, seemed to regather its volume
and to be about to pour itself once more over her mind. Sylvia perceived
this danger, and forbade her to talk any more about Zozo. This
injunction was evidently a relief to the child—she must be twenty-one
by now, though she seemed still a child—but it was tantalizing to
Sylvia, who could not penetrate beyond her own impression of the juggler
as an incredible figure, incredible because only drawn with a kind of
immature or tired fancy. He passed into the category of the Svengalis,
and became one of a long line of romantic impossibilities with whom
their creators had failed to do much more than can be done by a
practical joker with a turnip, a sheet, and some phosphorus. Zozo had
always been the weakest part of Sylvia's improvisation of Concetta, a
melodramatic climax that for her had spoiled the more simple horror of
the childhood; she determined that later on she would try to extract
from Queenie, bit by bit, enough to complete her performance.
Although Queenie had managed to break away from the man himself, she had
paid in full for his direction of her life, and Sylvia rebelled against
the whim of destiny which at the critical moment in this child's career
had snatched her from herself and handed her over to the possession of a
Zozo. What could have been the intention of fate in pointing a way to
safety and then immediately afterward barring it against her progress?
The old argument of free will could not apply in her case, because it
was the lack of that, and of that alone, which had caused her ruin. What
but a savage and undiscerning fate could be held accountable for this
tale that had for fit background the profitable and ugly fields through
which on this tristful Rumanian day the train was sweeping? Queenie
seemed to have had no lovers apart from the purchasers of youth, and to
be able to look back with pride and pleasure at nothing except the furs
and dresses and jewelry with which she had been purchased. In the rage
that Sylvia felt for this wanton corruption of a soul, she suddenly
remembered how, long ago, she had watched with a hopeless equanimity and
a cynical tolerance the progress of Lily along the same road as Queenie;
and this memory of herself as she once was and felt revived the
torments of self-reproach that had haunted her delirium in Petrograd.
Then, as Queenie's tale went on, there gradually emerged from all the
purposeless confusion of it one clear ambition in the girl's mind, which
was a passion to be English—a passion feverish, intense, absorbing.
When in France Sylvia had first encountered continental music-hall
artistes, she had found among them a universal prejudice against
English girls; later on, when she met in cabarets the expatriated and
cosmopolitan mountebanks that were the slaves rather than the servants
of the public, she had often been envied for her English nationality:
Lottie sleeping over there in the corner was an instance in point. But
she had never found this fleeting envy crystallized to such a passionate
ambition as it was become for Queenie. The circumstances of her birth in
Germany from an Italian father of a Flemish mother, her flight from a
cruel stepmother, her life with the juggler whose nationality seemed as
indeterminate as her own, her speech compounded of English, French,
German, and Italian each spoken with a foreign accent, her absence of
any kind of papers, her lack of any sort of home, had all combined to
give her a positive belief that she was without nationality, which she
coveted as some Undine might covet a soul.
"But why do you want to be English so particularly?" Sylvia asked.
"Don't you know? Why, yes, of course you know. It was you was first
making me to want. You were so sweet, the sweetest person I was ever
meeting, and when I lost you I was always wanting to be English."
So, after all, her own swift passage through Queenie's life had not been
without consequence.
"People were always saying that I looked like an English girl," Queenie
went on. "And I was always talking English. I will never speak other
languages again. I will not know other languages. Until this war came it
was easy; but when they asked me for my passport I had only a billet
de séjour given to me by the Russian police, and after six months I was
expelled. When I was coming to Rumania, there was a merchant on the
train who was kind to me, but he made me promise that if he helped me I
was never to leave him until he was wanting. He was very kind. He gave
me these furs. They are so nice, yes. But I was always going to the
station at Jassy to see if some English girl would be my sister. There
was once in Constantinople an English girl who would be my sister—but
Zozo was jealous. If I was becoming her sister, I would be having a
passport now, and England is so sweet!"
"But you've never been in England," Sylvia observed.
"Oh yes, I was going there with another English girl, and we lived there
three months. I was dancing into a club—a nice club, all the men was
wearing smokings—but she was ill and I wanted to be giving her money,
so I was going to Russia, and then came the war. And now you must be my
sister, because that other sister will be perhaps dead, so ill she was.
Ach yes, so ill, so very ill! When I will have my English passport we
will go to England together and never come away again. Then for the
first time I will be happy."
Sylvia promised that she would do all she could to achieve Queenie's
purpose.
"Tell me, why did you call yourself Queenie Walters?" she asked.
"Because the girl who was my sister in England had once a real little
baby sister who was called Queenie. Oh, dead long ago, long ago! Her
mother, who I was calling my mother, told me about this baby Queenie.
So I was Queenie Walters and my sister was Elsie Walters."
"And your real brother Francesco?" Sylvia asked. "Did you ever see him
again?"
That dreamlike and inexplicable meeting between the brother and the
sister in the streets of Milan had always remained in Sylvia's memory.
"No, never yet again. But I am so sure he is being in England and that
when we go there we will find him. And if he is English, too, what fun
we will have."
Sylvia looked at these two companions who had both assumed English
names. Not even the cold and merciless gray light of the Rumanian
morning could destroy Queenie's unearthly charm, and the longer she
looked at her the more like an Undine she thought her. Her eyes were
ageless, limpid as a child's; and that her experience of evil should
have left no sign of its habitation Sylvia was tempted to ascribe to the
absence of a soul for evil to mar. The only indication that she was six
years older than when they met in Granada was her added gracefulness of
movement, the impulsive gracefulness of a gazelle rather than that
serene gracefulness of a cat which had been Lily's beauty. Her hair, of
a natural pale gold, had not been dimmed by the fumes of cabarets, and
even now, all tangled after a night in the train, it had a look of
hovering in this railway carriage like a wintry sunbeam. In the other
corner sat Lottie, snoring with wide-open mouth, whose body, relaxed in
sleep, seemed fatter than ever. She, too, had suffered, perhaps more
deeply than Queenie, certainly more markedly; and now in dreams what
fierce Bohemian passions were aroused in the vast airs of sleep, what
dark revenges of the spirit for the insults that grotesque body must
always endure?
At this point in Sylvia's contemplation Lottie woke up and prepared for
the arrival of the train at Bucharest by making her toilet.
"Where's the best place to stay?" Sylvia inquired.
"Well, the best place to stay is in some hotel," Lottie replied. "But
the hotels are so horribly expensive. Of course, there are plenty of
pensions d'artistes, and—" she broke off and looked at Sylvia
curiously, who asked her why she did so.
"I was thinking that it's a pity you can't share a room together," she
said after a momentary hesitation.
"So we can," Sylvia answered, sharply.
"Well, in that case I should go to a small hotel," Lottie advised.
"Because all the pensions here are run by old thieves. There's Mère
Valérie—she's French and almost the worst of the lot—and there's one
kept by a Greek who's not so bad, but they say most of her bedrooms have
bugs."
"We'll go to a hotel," Sylvia decided. "Where are you going yourself?"
"Oh, I shall find myself a room somewhere. I don't stand a chance of
being engaged at any first-rate cabaret and I sha'n't have much money to
spend on rooms. Entre nous, je ne dis plus rien aux hommes. Je suis
trop grasse. À quoi sert une jolie chambre?"
Sylvia had a feeling that she ought to ask Lottie to share a room with
Queenie and herself, and after a struggle against the notion of this fat
girl's ungainly presence she keyed herself to the pitch of inviting her.
"No, no," said Lottie. "It wouldn't do for two English girls to live
with an Austrian."
Sylvia could not help being relieved at her refusal; perhaps she showed
it, for Lottie smiled cynically.
"I think you'll feel a little less charitable to everybody," she said,
"before much longer. You've kept out of this war so far, but you won't
be able to keep out of it forever. I've often noticed about English
girls that they begin by thinking such a lot of themselves that they
have quite a store of pity for the poor people who aren't like them; and
then all of a sudden they turn round and become very unpleasant; because
they discover that other people think themselves as good as they are.
Mind you, I'm not saying you'll do that, but I don't want to find myself
de trop after being with you a week. Let's part as friends."
Sylvia, in the flurry of arrival, did not pay much attention to Lottie's
prophecies, and she was glad to be alone again with Queenie. They
discovered a small hotel kept by Italians, which seemed clean and, if
they obtained a reasonable salary at the Petit Maxim, not too
expensive. When they had dressed themselves up to impress the manager
of the cabaret and were starting out to seek an engagement, the wife of
the proprietor called Sylvia aside.
"You mustn't bring gentlemen back to the hotel except in the afternoon."
"We don't want to bring anybody back at any time," said Sylvia,
indignantly.
The woman shrugged her shoulders and muttered a skeptical apology.
The interview with the manager of the cabaret was rather humiliating for
Sylvia, though she laughed at it when it was all over. He was quite
ready to engage Queenie both to dance en scène and afterward, but he
declared he had nothing to offer Sylvia; she proposed to sing him one of
her songs, but he scarcely listened to her, and when she had finished
repeated that he had nothing to offer her. Whereupon Queenie announced
that unless her sister was engaged the Petit Maxim would have to forgo
her own performance. The manager argued for a time, but he was evidently
much impressed by Queenie's attraction as a typical English girl, and
finally, rather than lose her, he agreed to engage Sylvia as well.
"It's a pity you look so unlike an English girl," he said to Sylvia in
an aggrieved voice. "The public will be disappointed. They expect an
English girl to look English. You'll have to sing at the beginning of
the evening, and I can't pay you more than three hundred lei—three
hundred francs, that is."
"I was getting eight hundred in Russia," Sylvia objected.
"I dare say you were, but girls are scarcer there. We've got thousands
of them in Bucharest."
Sylvia was furious at being offered so little, but Queenie promptly
asked six hundred, and when the manager objected, suggested that he
might engage them both for twelve hundred: it was strange to find
Queenie so sharp at business. In the end Sylvia was offered three
hundred and fifty lei and Queenie seven hundred and fifty, which they
accepted.
"You can have a band rehearsal to-morrow," he said, "and open on Monday
week."
Sylvia explained about the loss of her music; and the manager began to
curse, demanding how she expected an orchestra to accompany her without
band parts.
"I'll accompany myself," she answered.
"Oh, well," he agreed, "being the first item on the program, it doesn't
really matter what you do."
It was impossible for the moment not feel the sting of this when Sylvia
remembered herself a year ago, fresh from her success at the Pierian and
inclined to wonder if she were not dimming her effulgence as a
moderately large star by appearing at English music-halls. Now here she
was being engaged for the sake of another girl and allowed on sufferance
to entertain the meager, listless audience at the beginning of a cabaret
performance—for the sake of another girl who owed to her the fare to
Bucharest and whom all the way in the train she had been pitying while
she made plans to rescue her from a degrading existence. There was a
brief moment of bitterness and jealousy; but it passed almost at once,
and she began to laugh at herself.
"There's no doubt you'll have to establish your English nationality,"
she told Queenie, as they left the manager's office. "I really believe
he thought it was I who was pretending."
"It's what I was saying you," Queenie answered. "They was all thinking
that I was English."
"Well, now we must decide about our relationship. Of course, you don't
look the least like my sister, but I think the best way will be for you
to pass as my sister. My name isn't really Sylvia Scarlett, but Sylvia
Snow; so what I suggest is that you shall go on calling yourself Queenie
Walters on the stage, though when we try to get your passport you must
be Queenie Snow. Trust me to get round the English authorities here, if
it's necessary. We can always go back to England through Bulgaria and
Greece, but we must save up enough money, and it 'll that might befall
her more acutely than she would have feared for herself.
"Which must she be given first?" Sylvia asked herself. "A soul or a
nationality? The ultimate reason of nationality is civilization, and the
object of civilization is the progress and safety of the state. The more
progressive and secure is the state the more utterly is the individual
soul destroyed, because the state compels the individual to commit
crimes for which as an individual he would be execrated. Hence the crime
of war, to which the individual is lured by a virtue created by
appealing to mankind's sense of property, a virtue called patriotism
that somehow or other I'm perfectly sure must be anti-divine, though
it's a virtue for which I have a great respect. What shall it profit a
man if he shall gain the whole world and lose his own soul? That's
surely the answer to civilization, which, after all, has no object
except the physical comfort of humanity. I suppose one might call the
civilization that is of the spirit and not of the flesh 'salvation.' I
wonder what the Germans mean by Kultur—really I suppose the aggregate
soul of the German people. I think Kultur in their sense must be a
hybrid virtue like patriotism. I think it's their own ascription of a
divine origin to a civilization which has been as rapid and as poisonous
and as ugly as a toadstool. We other civilized nations revile the
Germans as barbarians, particularly we English, because in England,
thank Heaven, we've always had an uncomfortable feeling that man is a
greater thing than men, and we perceive in war a sacrifice of the
individual that no state has the right to demand. I wonder why the
Russians went to war. I can't understand a country that has produced
Tolstoi and Dostoievski going to war. If I had not met that soldier in
Kieff I might have been skeptical about Russian idealism after my
adventures in Petrograd, after that filthy cinema, and the scene in the
station at Ungheny; but, having met him, I know that Tolstoi and
Dostoievski are Russia.
"All of which has taken me a long way from Queenie, who is neither ready
for civilization nor for salvation. It's a most extraordinary thing, but
I've suddenly got an idea that she has never been baptized. If she has
not, I shall persuade her to be baptized. Baptism—the key to salvation!
A passport—the key to civilization! The antithesis is not so ludicrous
nor so extravagant as it sounds at first. Without a passport Queenie has
no nationality and does not possess elementary civic rights. She is
liable to be expelled from any country at any moment, and there is no
certainty that any other country will receive her. In that case she will
spend the rest of her life on earth in a kind of Limbo comparable to the
Limbo which I believe is reserved for the souls of those unbaptized
through no fault of their own. I shall be able to procure her a passport
and introduce her to the glories of nationality by perjuring myself, but
I can't give her a soul by perjuring myself, and I've got so strongly
this intuition that she was never baptized that I shall dig out a priest
and talk to him about it. And yet why am I bothering whether she was
baptized or not? What have I to do with churches and their ceremonies?
No doubt I was baptized, confirmed, and made my communion; yet for more
than twenty years I have never entered a church except as an onlooker.
Is this anxiety about Queenie's soul only another way of expressing an
anxiety about my own soul? Yes, I believe it is. I believe that by a
process of sheer intellectual exhaustion I am being driven into
Christianity. Oh, I wish I could talk it all out! It's a damned
dishonest way of satisfying my own conscience, to go to a priest and ask
questions about Queenie. Why can't I go and ask him straight out about
myself? But she is just as important as I am. I think that was brought
home to me rather well, when the manager engaged me because he wanted
her. There was I in a condition of odious pride because I had been
given the chance of helping her by paying the beggarly fare to
Bucharest, and, boomph! as dear Gainsborough used to say, there was she
given the chance of paying me back a hundredfold within twenty-four
hours."
Queenie was out, and Sylvia was lying down with a headache which was not
improved by the procession of these vagrant speculations round and round
her brain. She got up presently to look for some aspirin, and, opening
the drawer of the table between the two beds, she found a bundle of
pictures—little colored lithographs of old masters. She was turning
them over idly when Queenie came back.
"Ach, you was looking at my pictures. They are so nice, yes? See, this
is the one I love the best."
It was the "Primavera," and Sylvia was astonished for a moment that
Queenie's childlike and undeveloped taste should care for something so
remote from the crudities that usually appealed to such a mind. Then she
remembered that Botticelli as a painter must have appealed to
contemporaries who by modern standards were equally childlike and
undeveloped; and also that Queenie, whose nationality by the standards
of civilization did not exist, had an Italian father, the inheritor
perhaps of Botticelli's blood. Queenie sat on the bed and looked at her
pictures with the rapt expression of a child poring over her simple
treasures. From time to time she would hold one up for Sylvia's
admiration.
"See how sweet," she would say, kissing the grave little Madonna or
diminished landscape that was drawing her out of Bucharest into another
world.
"I've got a book somewhere about pictures," Sylvia said. "You must read
it."
Queenie hid her face in her arms; when she looked up again she was
crimson as a carnation.
"I can't read," she whispered.
"Not read?" Sylvia echoed.
"I can't read or write," she went on. "Ach! Now you hate me, yes?
Because I was being so stupid."
"But when you went to the school in Dantzig, didn't they teach you
anything?"
"They taught me ballet dancing and acrobatic dancing and step dancing.
Now I must go to have my hair washed, yes?"
Queenie got off the bed and hurried away, leaving Sylvia in a state of
bewilderment before the magnitude of the responsibility that she
represented.
"It's like giving birth to a grown-up baby," she said to herself; on a
sudden irresistible impulse, she knelt down upon the floor and began to
pray, with that most intense prayer of which a human being is capable,
that prayer which transcends all words, all space, all time, all
thought, that prayer which substitutes itself for the poor creature who
makes it. The moment of prayer passed, and Sylvia, rising from her
knees, dressed herself and went in search of a priest.
When she reached the door of the little Catholic mission church to which
the proprietor of the hotel had directed her, she paused upon the inner
threshold before a baize door and asked herself if she were not acting
in a dream. She had not been long enough in Bucharest for the city to be
reassuringly familiar; by letting her fancy play around the unreality of
her present state of mind she was easily able to transform Bucharest to
a city dimly apprehended in a tranced voyage of the spirit and to
imagine all the passers-by as the fantastic denizens of another world.
She stood upon the threshold and yielded a moment to what seemed like a
fainting of reason, while all natural existence swayed round her mind
and while the baize door stuck thick with pious notices, funereal
objurgations, and the petty gossip, as it were, of a new habitation at
which she was looking with strange eyes, seemed to attend her next step
with a conscious expectancy. She pushed it open and entered the church;
a bearded priest, escaping the importunities of an aged parishioner
with a voluble grievance, was coming toward her; perceiving that Sylvia
was looking round in bewilderment, he took the occasion to get rid of
the old woman by asking her in French if he could do anything to help.
"I want to see a priest," she replied.
Although she knew that he was a priest, in an attempt to cheat the force
that was impelling her she snatched at his lack of resemblance to the
conventional priestly figure of her memory and deluded herself with vain
hesitations.
"Do you want to make your confession?" he asked.
Sylvia nodded, and looked over her shoulder in affright; it seemed that
the voice of a wraith had whispered "Yes." The priest pointed to the
confessional, and Sylvia, with a final effort to postpone her surrender,
asked, with a glance at the old woman, if he were not too busy now. He
shook his head quickly and spoke sharply in Italian to the parishioner,
who retired, grumbling; Sylvia smiled to see with what an ostentation of
injured dignity she took the holy water and crossed herself before
passing out through the baize door. The old woman's challenging humanity
restored to Sylvia her sense of reality; emotion died away like a
falling gale at eve, and she walked to the confessional imbued with an
intention as practical as if she had been walking up-stairs to tidy her
hair. The priest composed himself into a non-committal attitude and
waited for Sylvia, who, now that she was kneeling, felt as if she were
going to play an unrehearsed part.
"I ought to say before I begin that, though I was brought up a Catholic,
I've not been inside a church for any religious duties since I was nine
years old. I'm now thirty-one. I know that there is some set form of
words, but I've forgotten it."
Sylvia half expected that he would tell her to go away and come back
when she had learned how to behave in the confessional; now that she was
here, she felt that this would be a pity, and she was relieved when he
began the Confiteor in an impersonal voice, waiting for her to repeat
every sentence after him. His patience seemed to her almost miraculous
in the way it smoothed her difficulties.
"I shall have to give you a short history of my life," Sylvia began. "I
can't just say baldly that I've done this or not done that, because
nearly all the sins I've committed weren't committed in their usual
classification."
As she said this, she had a moment of acute self-consciousness and
wondered if the priest were smiling, but he merely said in that
far-away, impersonal voice:
"I am listening, my daughter."
"I was brought up a Catholic. I was baptized and confirmed and I made my
first communion. It was the only communion I ever made, because somehow
or other at home there was always work to be done in the house instead
of going to Mass. My mother was French and she married an Englishman
much younger than herself. Of this marriage I was the only child. My
mother had six other daughters, two by a lover who died, and four by her
first husband, who was a Frenchman. My mother was illegitimate; her
father was also an Englishman. I only knew this after she died. The man
who married my grandmother always acknowledged her as his own daughter.
My mother was very strict and, though she was not at all religious, she
was very good. I don't want to give the idea that she was responsible
for anything I did. The only thing is, perhaps, that, being passionately
in love with my father, she was very demonstrative in front of me, which
made the idea of passion shocking to me when I was still young.
Therefore, for whatever sins of the flesh I have committed I cannot
plead a natural propensity. I don't know whether this would be
considered to make them worse or not. My father was a weak man; when my
mother died, he robbed his employers and had to leave France, taking me
with him. I was twelve at the time. I suppose if I wanted to justify
myself, I could say that no child could have spent a more demoralizing
childhood from that moment. But though, when I look back at it now and
realize some of the horrible actions that my father and a friend of his
who lived with us committed, I can't think that at the time they
influenced me toward evil. I suppose that any kind of moral callousness
is a bad example, and certainly I had no conception that swindling
people out of money was anything but a perfectly right and normal
procedure for anybody who was without money. My mother was angry with me
once because by accident I spent some money of hers, but she was angry
with me because it was a serious loss to the household accounts: there
was no suggestion of my having spent money that did not belong to me.
Other things that my father and his friend did I never understood at the
time, and so I can't pretend that they set me a bad example. My father
took a woman to live with him, and I was angry because it upset what had
hitherto seemed a comfortable existence, but the revelation of the
passionate side of it disgusted me still more with the flesh. I was a
mixture of precocity and innocence. Looking back at myself as a child, I
am amazed at the amount I knew and the little I understood—the amount I
understood and the little I knew. I read all sorts of books and accepted
everything I read as the truth; I read dozens of novels, for instance,
before I understood the meaning of fiction. I should say that no child
was ever exposed so naturally to the full tide of human existence, and
why or how I managed to escape degradation and damnation I've never been
able to explain until now. As a matter of fact, it's not true really to
say that I did escape degradation, but I will come to that presently.
"Well, my father killed himself on account of this woman, and I was left
with his friend when I was fifteen. Once I happened to be left
altogether alone when this man was away turning a dishonest penny
somewhere, and I suppose I fell mildly in love with a youth two years
older than myself. This made my father's friend jealous, and one night
he tried to make love to me. I was as much disgusted by this as if I had
really been the innocent child I might have been. I ran away with the
youth, and nothing happened. I ran away from him and lived with a young
Jew, but nothing happened. I met the woman who had lived with my father,
and—which shows how utterly unmoral I was—I made great friends with
her and even went to live with her. She used to have all sorts of men,
and I just accepted her behavior as a personal taste of her own which I
could neither understand nor share. Then I met a gentleman, a man
fifteen years older than myself, who was attracted by my unusualness and
sent me to school with the idea of marrying me. Well, I married him, and
I think that was the first sin I committed. I was seventeen at the time.
I think if my husband had understood how stunted my emotional
development was in proportion to my mental acquisitiveness he would have
behaved differently. But he was fascinated by my capacity for cynicism
and encouraged me to think as I liked, with himself for audience; at the
same time he tried to make me for outsiders' eyes a conventional young
miss whom he had rather apologetically married. He demanded from me the
emotional wisdom to sustain this part, and of course I could see nothing
in his solicitude but a sort of snobbish egotism. He was delighted by my
complete indifference to any kind of religion, supernatural or natural,
and when I made friends with an English priest—not a Catholic—but half
a Catholic—it's impossible to explain to a foreigner—I don't think
anybody would understand the Church of England out of England, and very
few people can there—he was afraid of my turning religious. I don't
know—perhaps I might have done; but somebody sent an anonymous letter
to my husband suggesting that this priest and I were having a
love-affair, and my husband forbade me to see him again. So I ran away.
I suppose my running away was the direct result of my bringing up,
because whenever I had been brought face to face with a difficult
situation I ran away. However, this time I was determined from some
perverted pride to make myself more utterly myself than I had ever done.
It's hard to explain how my mind worked. You must remember I was only
nineteen, and already at thirty-one I am as far from understanding all
my motives then as if I were trying to understand somebody who was not
myself at all. Anyhow, I simply went on the streets. For three months I
mortified my flesh by being a harlot. Can you understand that? Can you
possibly understand the deliberate infliction of such a discipline, not
to humiliate one's pride, but to exalt it? Can you understand that I
emerged from that three months of incredible horror with a complete
personality? I was defiled: I was degraded: I was embittered: I hated
mankind: I vowed to revenge myself on the world: I scoffed at love: and
yet now, when I feel that I have at last brushed from myself the last
speck of mud that was still clinging to me, I feel that somehow all that
mud has preserved me against a more destructive corruption. This does
not mean that I do not repent of what I did, but can you understand how
without a pride that could lead me to such depths I could not have come
through humility to a sight of God?"
Sylvia did not wait for the priest to answer this question, partly
because she did not want to be disillusioned by finding so soon that he
had not comprehended anything of her emotions or actions, partly because
there seemed more important revelations of herself still to be made.
"I stayed a common harlot until I was offered by chance an opportunity
to rescue myself by going on the stage. Then I sent my husband as much
money as I had saved and the evidences of my infidelity, so that he
might divorce me, which he did. Now comes an important event in my life.
I met a girl—a very beautiful girl doomed from the creation of the
universe to be a plaything of man."
The priest held up his hand to protest.
"Ah, I know you'll say that no one can possibly be so foredoomed, and
indeed I know the same myself now, or rather I'm trying hard to believe
it, because predestination without free will seems to me a doctrine of
devils. At the time, however, I could see nothing that would save this
girl, and with a perverted idealism I determined that she should step
gracefully downhill. I think the hardest thing to do is to go downhill
gracefully. We can climb uphill, and a certain awkwardness is
immaterial, because the visible effort lends a dignity to our progress,
and the air of success blows freshly at the summit. We can walk along
the level road of mediocrity with an acquired gracefulness that is
taught us by our masters of the golden mean—particularly in England,
where it's particularly easy to walk gracefully along the flat. Very
well, instead of using my influence to prevent this girl descending at
all, I was entirely occupied with the esthetic aspects of her descent.
I'm not going to pretend that I could have stopped her—a better person
than I tried and failed—but that doesn't excuse my attitude. And
there's worse to my account. When this other person wanted to marry her,
I did all I could to stop the marriage at first, and it was not until
the engagement between them was broken off that I discovered that my
true reasons for hating it sprang entirely from my own jealousy. I felt
that if this man had loved me, I could have regained myself, the self
that was myself before those three months of prostitution. I should say
here that I had nothing to do directly with the destruction of the other
marriage, but I hold myself to blame ultimately, because, if from the
beginning I had bent my whole will to its being carried through, it
would have been carried through. Looking back at the business now, I
am convinced that what happened happened for the best, and that such a
marriage would have been fatal to the happiness of the man and useless
to the girl, but that does not excuse my own share in the smash.
"Well, the man left this girl in my charge, and finally she threw me
over and married a foreigner, since when I have never heard that she
even still lives. I had the good fortune to be given enough money by
somebody to enable me to be independent, and for two or three years I
looked at life from the outside. I had nothing to do with men, and as a
result I began to be afraid that youth would pass without my ever
knowing what it was to love. Friends of mine married and were happy.
Only I seemed fated to be always alone.
"I wonder sometimes if when we judge the behavior of others we pay
enough attention to this loneliness that haunts the lives of so many men
and women. You will say that no one can be lonely with God;
unfortunately, thousands of lonely souls are destitute of the sense of
God from birth to death, and these lonely souls are far more exposed to
temptation than the rest. Faith they have not: hope has died in their
hearts: love slowly withers. All the vices of self-destruction surround
their path. Pride flourishes in such soil, and jealousy and envy. I
believe their only compensation is the fact that lies and self-deception
find small nourishment in such spiritual wastes. I'm sure that if the
pride of such people could be pierced, there would gush forth a cry of
despair that ascribed everything in this life to a feeling of
loneliness. In my own case, in addition to the inevitable loneliness
fostered by such a childhood as mine—the natural loneliness caused by
living with two men who were perpetually on the verge of
imprisonment—there was the loneliness of my own temperament. I know
that every human being claims for himself the right to be misunderstood
and unappreciated; it's not that kind of loneliness of which I speak.
Mine was the loneliness of some one who is so masculine and so feminine
simultaneously that reason is sapped by emotion and emotion is
sterilized by reason. The only chance for such a temperament is
self-expression either in love, art, or religion. I tried vaguely to
express myself in art, but without success at first; and I was too proud
and not vain enough to persevere. I then fell back on love. I let
myself get into a condition of wanting to be in love, and at this
moment of emotional collapse I met by accident the youth—now a man of
thirty—with whom I had effected one of my childish elopements. With
this man I lived for a year. I can't pretend that I did not take
pleasure in the passionate relationship, though I always felt it was a
temporary surrender to the most feminine side of me that I despised. I
think I can best explain my emotions by saying that all the time I was
with him I was like a person under the influence of a sedative drug.
"Now there are people who pass from drug to drug with increase of
pleasure, but there are others to whom the notion of being drugged
becomes suddenly obnoxious and in whom the reaction creates an abnormal
activity. Quite suddenly I abandoned my pleasure and became ambitious to
express myself in art. I succeeded. I was, for one who begins so late in
life, exceptionally successful, and then behold, my very success took on
the aspect of yielding to another sedative drug. It never seemed
anything but a temporary expedient to defeat the claims of existence.
Just as love had seemed a surrender to the exclusively feminine side of
me, so art seemed a surrender to the exclusively masculine side. There
was always an unsatisfied, unexpressed part of me that girded at the
satisfied part. As a result of this, I made up my mind that a happy
marriage with children and a household to look after was a better thing
than artistic success. Here was obviously another experiment for the
benefit of the feminine side. I knew perfectly well that if I had
carried out my intention I should not have remained content when the
sedative action of the new drug began to cease, and I am grateful now
that circumstances interfered. I was jilted by the man who was going to
marry me, and the fact that I had already lived with him and refused to
marry him dozens of times made the injury to my pride intolerable. In a
fit of rage I flung behind me everything—success, love, marriage,
friends—and left England to take up again at the age of thirty-one a
life I had forsaken for several years. And now I found that even the
mere externals of such a life were horrible. I could not bear the idea
of being for sale; while I had no intention of ever giving myself to a
man again, I had to drink for my living and dance with drunkards for my
cab fare, which, though it may not be a technical prostitution, differs
only in degree from the complete sale of the body.
"Scarcely a month had passed when I became seriously ill, and in the
dreadful delirium of my fever I imagined that I was damned. I do not
think that anybody has the right to accept seriously the mental
revelations that are made to a mind beside itself; I think, indeed, it
would be a blasphemy to accuse God of taking such a method to rouse a
soul to a sense of its being, its duties, and its dangers; and I dread
to claim for myself any supernatural intervention at such a time, partly
because my reason shies at such a thought and partly because I think it
is presumptuous to suppose that God should interest Himself so
peculiarly in an individual. It seems to me almost vulgarly
anthropomorphic."
"Are not five sparrows sold for two farthings, and not one of them is
forgotten before God?" the priest murmured.
"Yes, yes," Sylvia agreed. "I have expressed myself badly, and of course
when I think of it I have been driven ever since the delirium really to
accept just that. You can understand, can't you, the dread of
presumption in my revolt against pride?
"But by insisting upon what seemed to happen in my delirium I am giving
you a wrong impression. It was when I came to myself again in the
hospital that I felt changed. I longed then for knowledge of God, but I
was afraid that my feeling was simply the natural result of weakness
after a severe illness. I almost rejected God in my fear of supposing
myself hysterical and egotistical. However, I did try hard to put myself
into a state of resignation, and when I came out of the hospital I felt
curiously awake to the sense of God and simultaneously an utter
indifference to anything in my old life that might interrupt my quest by
restoring me to what I was before this illness. While I was ill war had
broken out, and I found myself utterly alone. Ordinarily I am sure that
such a discovery would have terrified me; now I rejoiced in such
loneliness. I deliberately turned my back on England and waited for
something from my new life to fill this loneliness. I felt like some one
who has swept and garnished a room that he may receive guests. My chief
emotion was a tremendous love of the whole world and an illimitable
desire to make up for all my cynicism in the past by the depth of this
love. I went back to the pension where I had lived before I was ill,
and it seemed to me a coincidence that the woman who kept it should be a
spiritualist and that for two months my mind should be continuously
occupied by what I might call the magic side of things. The result was
that, though I was often puzzled by inexplicable happenings, I conceived
a distaste for all this meddling with the unknowable, this kind of
keyhole peeping at infinity: it seemed to me vulgar and unpleasant.
Nevertheless, I was driven back all the time in my meditations on the
only satisfactory revelation of God, the only rational manifestation,
which was Jesus Christ. Every other explanation crumbled away in my
brain except that one fact. Then, although I believe it was only some
fortune-telling with cards that first put the notion into my head, I was
obsessed with the idea that I must go south. On my way I met a soldier
at Kieff who bought me a golden bag for no other reason than because it
seemed to him that to give pleasure to somebody else was a better way of
spending his money than in gambling or self-indulgence. In the state of
mind I was in I accepted this as a sign that I was right to go south. So
you see that I had really arrived at the point of view of accepting the
theory of a divine intervention in my favor.
"After three months at Odessa—where I read Tolstoi and Dostoievski and
found in them, ah, such profundities of the human soul lighted
up—against my instinct I went north again; the Germans were advancing
upon Warsaw, and circumstances brought me here. On the way, at Jassy, an
extraordinary thing happened. I met a girl whom I had tried to adopt six
years ago at Granada, but who was taken from me by a blackguard and who
since then has what people call sunk very low. It seemed to me that in
finding this child again, for she is still really a child, I was being
given an opportunity of doing what I had failed to do for that first
girl of whom I told you. Then suddenly I conceived the idea that she had
never been baptized; when I began to think about her soul, I was driven
by an unknown force to this church. When I came in I did not know what
to do, and when you asked me if I wanted to make my confession the force
seemed to say 'Yes.'"
Sylvia was silent, and the priest finished the Confiteor, which she
repeated after him.
"My daughter," he said, "it is the grace of God. I do not feel that in
this solemn moment—a moment that fills me as a priest with humility at
being allowed to regard such a wonderful manifestation of God's infinite
mercy—any poor words of mine can add anything. It is the grace of God:
let that suffice. But, wonderful as has been God's mercy to a soul that
was deaf so long to His voice, do not forget that your greatest danger,
your greatest temptation, may be to rely too much upon yourself. Do not
forget at this solemn moment that you can only enjoy this divine grace
through the Sacraments. Do not forget that only in the Church can you
preserve the new sense of security that you now feel. One who has been
granted such mercy must expect harder struggles than less fortunate
souls. Do not, by falling back into indifference and neglect of your
religious duties, succumb to the sin of pride. By the height of your
uplifting will be measured the depth of your fall, if in your pride you
think to stand alone."
When the priest had given her absolution, Sylvia asked him about
Queenie; and when he seemed a little doubtful of Queenie's willingness
to be a catechumen, she wondered if he were deliberately trying to
discourage her in order to mortify that pride he had seemed to fear so
much.
"But if she wants to be baptized?" Sylvia persisted.
"Of course I will baptize her."
"You think that I'm too much occupied with her when I have still so much
to learn myself?" she challenged.
They were walking down the church toward the door, and Sylvia felt
rather like the importunate parishioner whom she had interrupted by her
entrance.
"No, no, I think you are quite right. But I fear that you will expect
miracles of God's grace all round you," said the priest. "What has
happened to you may not happen to her."
"But it must," Sylvia declared. "It shall."
The priest shook his head, and there was a smile at the back of his
eyes.
"If you fail?"
"I sha'n't fail."
"Is God already put on one side?"
"I shall pray," said Sylvia.
"Yes, I think that is almost better than relying too much upon the human
will."
Two things struck Sylvia when she had left the church and was walking
back to the hotel: the first was that the priest had really said very
little in response to that long outpouring of her history, and the
second was that here in this street it did not seem nearly as easy to
solve the problem of Queenie's soul as it had seemed in the church. Yet,
when she came to think over the priest's words, she could not imagine
how he could have spoken differently.
"I suppose I expected to be congratulated as one is congratulated upon
a successful performance," she said to herself. "That's the worst of a
histrionic career like mine: one can't get rid of the footlights even in
the confessional. As a matter of fact, I ought to be grateful that he
accepted the spirit of my confession without haggling over the form, as
from his point of view he might have done most justifiably. Perhaps he
was tired and didn't want to start an argument. And yet no, I don't
think it was that. He came down like a hammer on the main objection to
me—my pride. He was really wonderfully unecclesiastical. It's a funny
thing, but I seem to be much less spiritually exalted than I ought to be
after such a reconciliation. I seem to have lost for the moment that
first fine careless rapture of conversion. Does that mean that the whole
business was an emotional blunder and that I'm feeling disappointed? No,
I don't feel disappointed: I feel practical. I suppose my friend the
priest wouldn't accept the comparison, but it reminds me of how I felt
when, after I had first conceived the idea of my Improvisations, I had
to set about doing them. Everything has its drudgery: love produces
household cares; art, endless work; religion, religious duties. The
moment of attraction, the moment of inspiration, the moment of
conversion—if they could only endure! Perhaps heaven is the infinite
prolongation of such moments.
"And then there's Queenie. It's not much use my leading her to the font
as one leads a horse to water, because, though I should regard it as
Infant Baptism, the priest would not. Yet I don't see why he shouldn't
instruct her like a child. Poor priest! He could hardly have expected
such problems as myself and Queenie when he was so anxious to get rid of
that old woman who was pestering him. I think I won't bother about
Queenie for a bit, until I have practised a little subordination of
myself first. She's got to acquire a soul of her own; it's no use my
presenting her with a piece of mine."
Queenie had been back from the hairdresser's for a long time when
Sylvia reached the hotel, and was wondering what had become of her
friend.
"You've been out alone," she said, reproachfully. "Your headache is
better, I think. Yes?"
"My headache?" Sylvia repeated. "Yes, it's much better. I've been
indulging in spiritual aspirin."
"I'm glad it's better, because it is our first night at the Petit Maxim
to-night. I wonder if I will be having much applause."
"So it is," Sylvia said. "I'd forgotten my approaching triumph with the
waiters; it's not likely that there'll be any audience when I appear. At
nine P.M. sharp the program of the Petit Maxim opened with Miss Sylvia
Scarlett's three songs. The gifted young lady—I've reached the age when
it's a greater compliment to be called young than beautiful—played and
sang with much verve. Several waiters ceased from dusting the empty
tables to listen, and at the close her exit was hailed by a loud
flourish of serviettes. The solitary visitor who clapped his hands
explained afterward that he was trying to secure some attention to
himself, and that thirst, not enthusiasm, had dictated his action."
"How you were always going on, Sylvia," said Queenie. "Nobody was ever
going to understand you when you talk so quick as that."
"Miss Sylvia Scarlett's first song was an old English ballad set to the
music of Handel's 'Dead March.'"
"If we were ever going to have any dinner, we must go and eat now,"
Queenie interrupted.
"Yes, I don't want to miss the sunset with my last song."
"But what does it matter, if you are paid to sing, if you sing first or
last?"
"The brightest star, my dear, cannot shine by daylight."
"But you are stupid, Sylvia. It is no more daylight at nine o'clock."
"Yes, I am very stupid," Sylvia agreed, and, catching hold of Queenie's
arms, she looked deep into her eyes. "Believe me, you little fairy
thing, that I should be much more angry if you were put first on a
program than because I am."
The cabaret Petit Maxim aimed at expressing in miniature the essence of
all the best cabarets in Paris, just as Bucharest aimed at expressing in
miniature the essence of Paris. The result, though pleasant and
comfortable enough, was in either case as little like Paris as a scene
from one of its own light operas is like Vienna. What Bucharest and the
Petit Maxim did both manage to effect, however, was an excellent
resemblance to one of those light operas. Sylvia in the course of her
wanderings had once classified the capitals she had visited as
metropolitan, cosmopolitan, and neapolitan. Bucharest belonged very
definitely to the last group; it stood up like a substantially built
exhibition in the middle of a ring of industrial suburbs which by their
real squalor heightened the illusion of its unreality. The cupolas of
shining bronze and the tiled domes shimmering in the sun like peacocks'
tails dazzled the onlooker with an illusion of barbaric splendor; but
the city never escaped from the self-consciousness of an exhibition,
which was heightened by the pale blue and silver uniforms of the
officers, the splendid equipages for hire, and the policemen dressed in
chocolate like commissionnaires, and accentuated by the inhabitants'
pride in the expensiveness and "naughtiness" of their side-shows, of
which not the least expensive and "naughty" were the hotels. One might
conceive the promoter of the exhibition taking one aside and asking if
one did not think he had been successful in giving Paris to the Balkans,
and one might conceive his disappointment on being told that,
magnificent though it all looked, it was no more Paris than Offenbach
was Molière.
At the time when Sylvia visited Bucharest the sense of being one of the
chorus in a light opera was intensified by the dramatic plot that was
provided by the European war. Factions always grew more picturesque with
every mile away from England, the mother of parliaments, where they
ceased to be picturesque three hundred years ago when the chief
Punchinello's head tumbled into the basket at Whitehall. The comedy of
kingship had been prolonged for another century and a half in France,
and in France they were a century and a half nearer to the picturesque
and already two or three hundred miles away from England. In Italy the
picturesqueness grew still more striking with such anachronisms as the
Camorra and the Mafia. But it was not until the Balkans that factions
could be said to be vital in the good old way. Serbia had shown not so
long ago what could still be done with a thoroughly theatrical regal
murder; and now here was Rumania jigging to the manipulation of the
French faction and the German faction, with just enough possibility of
all the plots and counterplots ending seriously by plunging the country
into war on one side or the other to give a background of real drama to
the operatic form.
At the Petit Maxim the Montagues and Capulets came to blows nightly.
Everything here was either Ententophile or Germanophile: there were
pro-German waiters, pro-German tables, pro-German tunes, for the benefit
of the Germans and pro-Germans who occupied one half of the cabaret and
applauded the Austrian performers. Equally there was the Ententist
complement. If the first violin was pro-French and played sharp for an
Austrian singer, the cornet was pro-German ready to break time to
disconcert a French dancer. On the whole, as was natural in what is
called "a center of amusement," the pro-French element predominated,
and, though it was possible to sing the "Marseillaise" at the cost of
a few broken glasses, the solitary occasion when "Deutschland über
Alles" was attempted ended in several broken heads, a smashed
chandelier, and six weeks in bed for an Austrian contralto whose face
was scratched with a comb by a French artiste under the influence of
ether and patriotism.
Nor was this atmosphere of plot and faction confined to general
demonstrations of friendliness or hostility. Bucharest was too small a
city to allow deep ramifications to either party; the gossip of the
court on the day before became the gossip of the cabaret on the evening
after; scarcely one successful conveyance of war material from Germany
to Turkey but was openly discussed at the Petit Maxim. Intrigues and
flirtations with the great powers increased the self-esteem of Rumania,
who took on the air of a coquettish school-girl that finds herself
surrounded by the admiration of half a dozen elderly rakes. Her dowry
and good looks seemed both so secure that any little looseness of
behavior would always be overlooked by the man she chose to marry in the
end.
Sylvia could not help teasing some of the young officers that frequented
the Petit Maxim. They changed their exquisite operatic uniforms so many
times in the day: they accepted with such sublime effrontery the salute
of the goose step from a squad of magnificent peasants dressed up as
soldiers; they painted and powdered their faces, wore pink velvet bands
round their képis under nodding panaches; and not one but could
display upon his breast the ribbon of the bloodless campaign against
Bulgaria of two years before. When they came jangling into the cabaret,
one felt that the destinies of Europe were attached to their
sword-belts, as comfort hangs upon the tinkling of a housekeeper's
châtelaine.
"If Italy declares war, we shall declare war; for we are more Roman than
they are. If Italy remains neutral, we shall remain neutral, because the
Latin races must hold together," the patrons of the Entente avowed.
"Italy will not declare war, and we shall have to fight the Russians. We
won Plevna for them and lost Bessarabia as a reward. As soon as Austria
realizes that she must give us Transylvania we shall declare war," said
the patrons of the Central Powers.
"We shall remain neutral. Our neutrality is precious to both sides,"
murmured a third set.
And, after all, Sylvia thought, the last was probably the wisest view,
for it would be a shame to spoil the pretty uniforms of the officers and
a crime to maim the bodies of the nobler peasants they commanded.
In such an atmosphere Sylvia had to postpone any solution of the
spiritual side of Queenie's problem and concentrate upon keeping her out
of immediate mischief. The manager of the Petit Maxim had judged the
tastes of his clients accurately, and Queenie had not been dancing at
the cabaret for a fortnight when one read on the programs, QUEENIE, LA
JEUNE DANSEUSE ANGLAISE ET L'ENFANT GÂTÉE DE BUCURESTI. Chocolates and
flowers were showered upon her, and her faintest smile would uncork a
bottle of champagne. But every morning at three o'clock, when the
cabaret closed, Sylvia snatched her away from all the suitors and took
her home as quickly as possible to their hotel. She used to dread
nightly the arrival of the moment when Queenie would refuse to go with
her, but the moment did not come; and the child never once grumbled at
Sylvia's sigh of relief to find themselves back in their own bedroom. In
order as much as possible to distract her from the importunities of
hopeful lovers, Sylvia would always aim at surrounding herself and
Queenie with the political schemers, so that the evening might pass away
in speculation upon the future of the war and the imminence of Rumanian
intervention. She impressed upon Queenie the necessity of seeming
interested in the fate of the country of which she was supposed to be a
native. They were the only English girls in the cabaret; in fact, the
only English actresses apparently anywhere in Bucharest. Sylvia, finding
that man is much more of a political animal in the Balkans than
elsewhere, took advantage of the general curiosity about England's
personality to get as many bottles of champagne opened for information
from her own lips as out of admiration and desire for Queenie's.
From general political discussions it was a short way to the more
intimate discussions of faction's intrigue; and Sylvia became an expert
on the ways and means of the swarm of German agents who corrupted
Bucharest as blue-bottles taint fresh meat. She sometimes wondered if
she ought not to convey some of the knowledge thus acquired to the
British Legation; but she supposed, on second thoughts, that she was
unlikely to know anything that the authorities therein did not already
know much better, and, being averse from seeming to put herself forward
for personal advantage, she did not move in the matter.
One of the chief frequenters of their company was a young lieutenant of
the cavalry, called Philidor, with whom Sylvia made friends. He was an
enthusiast for the cause of the Entente, and she learned from him a
great deal about the point of view of a Balkan state, so that when she
had known him for a time she was able to judge both Rumania as a whole
and the individual extravagances and vanities of Rumanians more
generously.
"I don't think you quite understand," he once said to her, "the fearful
responsibility that will rest upon the Balkan statesman who decides the
policy of his country in this crisis. Whatever happens, England will
remain England, France will remain France, Germany will remain Germany;
but in Rumania, although our sympathies are with you, our geographical
position makes us the natural allies of the Germans. Suppose we march
with you and something goes wrong. Nothing can prevent us from being
Germanized for the rest of our history. You mustn't pay too much
attention to the talk you hear about the great power of Rumania and the
influence we shall have upon the course of the war. Such talk springs
from a half-expressed nervousness at the position in which we find
ourselves. We are trying to bolster ourselves up with the sense of our
own importance in the hope that we shall have the wisdom to direct our
policy rightly. We are not a great power; we are a little power; and our
only chance of becoming a great power would be that Austria should break
up, that Russia should crumble away, and that the whole vile country of
Bulgaria should be obliterated from the surface of the earth. It is
certain that Bulgaria will march with Germany; nothing can stop that
except the defeat of Germany this year. Possibly Italy may come in on
your side this spring, but tied as we are to her by blood, we are
separated from her by miles of alien populations, and Italy cannot help
us. Greece is in the same plight as we are—not quite, perhaps, because
she can depend for succor upon the sea: we can't. Ah, if you could only
open the Dardanelles! If you only had a statesman to see that there lies
the key to certain victory in this war. But statesmen no longer exist
among you great powers. You've become too big for statesmen and can only
produce politicians. The only statesmen in Europe nowadays are to be
found in the Balkans, because since every man here is a politician it
requires a statesman to rise above the ruck. Paradox though it may seem,
statesmen create states; they are not created by them. We have all our
history before us in the Balkans, if we can only survive being swallowed
up in this cataclysm; but I doubt if we can. To you this country of mine
is like a comic opera, but to me, one of the players, it is as tragic as
'Pagliacci.'
"You are right in a way to mock at our aristocracy, though much of that
aristocracy is not truly Rumanian, but bastard Greek; yet we have such a
wonderful peasantry, and an idealist like myself dreads the effect of
this war. All our plans of emancipation, all our schemes for destroying
the power of the great landowners," and in a whisper he added, "all our
hopes of a republic are doomed to failure. I tell you, my dear, it's
tragic opera, not comic opera."
"But if you are a republican, why do you wear the uniform of a crack
cavalry regiment?" Sylvia asked.
"Oh, I've thought that out," Philidor replied. "I belong to a good
family. If I proclaimed my opinions openly, I should merely be put on
one side. Aristocratic rule is more powerful in Rumania than anywhere in
Europe except Prussia. The aristocrats have literally all the capital of
the country in their hands; our peasants are serfs. As an avowed
republican I could do nothing to spread the opinions that I believe to
be the salvation of my country and the preservation of her true
independence; we are a young state—not a state at all, in fact, but a
limited liability company with a director imported from the chief
European firm of king-exporters—and we have still to realize our soul
as by fire."
"The soul of a country," Sylvia murmured. "It's only the aggregate of
the human souls that make it, but each soul could be the microcosm of
the universe."
"True, true," Philidor agreed. "And the soul of Rumania is the soul of a
girl who's just out, or of a boy in his first year at college. Hence all
the prettiness and all the complacent naughtiness and all the imitation
of older and more worldly people and all the tyranny and contempt for
the rights of the poor, the want of consideration for servants really.
Though I must be young like the rest and dress myself up and lead the
life of my friends, I am always hoping to influence them gradually, very
gradually. Perhaps if I were truly a great soul I should fling over all
this pretense; but I know my own limitations, and all I pray is that
when the man arises who is worthy to lead Rumania toward liberty and
justice I shall have the wit to recognize him and the courage to follow
his lead."
"But you said just now," Sylvia reminded him, "that all the European
statesmen were to be found in the Balkans."
"I still say that, but our statesmen—we have only two—dare not in the
presence of this war think of anything except the safety of the
country. Republicanism would be of little use to a Rumania absorbed
either into the Dual Monarchy or into the Czardom of Russia or ravaged
by the hellish Bulgarians. I tell you that we see precipices before our
steps whichever way we turn for the path; but because we are young we
dress ourselves up and gamble and sing and dance and swagger and boast;
we are young, my dear girl—very, very young, perhaps not old enough for
our death to be anything but pathetic."
"You're in a very pessimistic mood to-night," Sylvia said.
"Who could be anything but gloomy when he looks round a room like this?
A crowd of French, Rumanian, and Austrian cocottes dancing to
'Tipperary' in this infernal tinkling din—forgive my frankness, but you
know I don't include you in the galère—while over there I see a
cousin of my own, a member of one of our greatest families, haggling
with a dirty German agent over the price of sending another six
aeroplanes to Turkey disguised as agricultural implements; and over
there I see a man, who I had always hoped was an honest editor, selling
his pen to the fat little German baron that will substitute poison for
ink and bank-notes for honest opinions; and over there are three brother
officers with three girls on their knees singing the words of
'Tipperary' with as much intelligence as apes, while they brag to their
companions of how in six weeks they will be marching to save France."
"They don't miss much by not understanding the words," Sylvia said, with
a smile.
"I don't understand how a woman like you can tolerate or endure this
life," Philidor exclaimed, fanatically. "Why don't you take that pretty
little sister of yours out of it and back to England? I don't understand
how you can stay here with your country at war."
"That's too long a story to tell you now," Sylvia said. "But between
ourselves she's not really my sister."
"I never supposed she was," Philidor answered. "She's not English,
either, is she?"
Sylvia looked at him sharply.
"Have you heard any one else say that?" she asked.
"Nobody else here knows English as well as I do."
The dance stopped, and Queenie, leaving her partner, came up to their
table with a smile.
"You're happy, anyway," said Philidor.
"Oh yes. I'm so happy. She is so sweet to me," Queenie cried, embracing
Sylvia impulsively.
A French girl sitting at the next table laughed and murmured an epithet
in argot. Sylvia's cheeks flamed; she was about to spring up and make a
quarrel, but Philidor restrained her.
"Do you wonder that I protest against your exposing yourself to that
sort of thing?" he said. "What are you going to do? It wouldn't be quite
you, would it, to hit her over the head with a champagne-bottle? Let the
vile tongue say what it pleases."
"Yes, but it's so outrageous, it's so—ah, I've no words for the
beastliness of people," Sylvia exclaimed.
"May I dance this dance?" Queenie interrupted, timidly.
"Good heavens! Why do you ask me, girl? What has it to do with me? Dance
with the devil if you like."
Queenie looked bewildered by Sylvia's emphasis and went off again in
silence.
"And now you see the only person that's really hurt is your little
friend," Philidor observed. "You're much too sure of yourself to care
about a sneer like that, and she didn't hear what the woman called you,
or perhaps understand it if she heard."
Sylvia was silent; she was thinking of once long ago when Lily had asked
her if she could dance with Michael; now she blushed after nine years
lest he might have thought for a moment what that woman had said.
"You're quite right," she agreed with Philidor. "This is a damnable
life. Would you like to hear Queenie's story?"
"There's no need for you to defend yourself to me," he laughed.
"Ah, don't laugh about it. You mustn't laugh about certain things.
You'll make me think less of you."
"I was only being gauche," he apologized. "Yes, tell me her story."
So Sylvia told him the sad history, and when she had finished asked his
advice about Queenie.
"You were talking just now about your country as if she were a child,"
she said, eagerly. "You were imagining her individuality and
independence destroyed. I feel the same about this girl. I want to make
her really English. Do you think that I shall be able to get her a
passport? We're saving up our money now to go to England."
Philidor said he did not know much about English regulations, but that
he could not imagine that any consul would refuse to help when he heard
the story.
"And the sooner you leave Rumania the better. Look here. I'll lend you
the money to get home."
Sylvia shook her head.
"No, because that would interfere with my part of the story. I've got to
get back without help. I have a strong belief that if I accept help I
shall miss my destiny. It's no good trying to argue me out of a
superstition, for I've tried to argue myself out of it a dozen times and
failed. No, if you want to help me, come and talk to me every night and
open a bottle or two of champagne to keep the manager in a good temper;
and stand by me if there's ever a row. I won't answer for myself if I'm
alone and I hear things said like what was said to-night."
Philidor promised he would do that for her as long as he was quartered
in Bucharest, and presently Queenie came back.
"Don't look so frightened. I'm sorry I was cross to you just now."
"You were being so savage," said Queenie, with wide-open, wondering
eyes. "What was happening?"
"Something stung me."
"Where?"
"Over the heart," Sylvia answered.
When they were back in their room Queenie returned to the subject of
Sylvia's ill-temper.
"I could not be thinking it was you," she murmured. "I could not be
thinking it."
"It was something that passed as quickly as it came," Sylvia said.
"Forget about it, child."
"Were you angry because I was being too much with that boy? If you like,
I shall say to him to-morrow that I cannot dance with him longer."
"Please, Queenie, forget about it. Somebody said something that made me
angry, and I vented my anger on you. It was of no importance."
Queenie looked only half convinced, and when she was in bed she turned
for consolation to the little chromolithographs that were always at
hand. She had the custom of wearing a lace nightcap, and, sitting up
thus in bed while her rapt gaze sought in those fairy landscapes the
reflection of her own visions, she was remote and impersonal as a
painted figure in some adoring angelic company. Sylvia felt that the
moment was come to raise the question of the spiritual mood with which
Queenie's outward appearance seemed in harmony, and that it was her duty
to suggest a way of positively capturing and forever enshrining the
half-revealed wonders of which these pictures spoke to her. Sylvia
fancied that Queenie's development had now only reached as far as her
own at about fifteen, and, looking back to herself at that age, she
thought how much it might have meant to her if somebody could have given
expression to her capacity for wonder then. Moreover, it was improbable
that Queenie would grow much older mentally, and it was impossible for
Queenie to reach her own present point of view by her own long process
of rejecting every other point of view in turn. Queenie would never
reject anything of her own accord, and it seemed urgent to fortify her
with the simple and in some eyes childish externals of religion, which
precisely, on account of such souls, have managed to endure.
"The great argument in favor of the Church seems to me," Sylvia thought,
"that it measures humanity by the weakest and not by the strongest link,
which of course means that it never overestimates its power and survives
assaults that shatter more ambitious and progressive organizations of
human belief. Well, Queenie is a weak enough link, and I sha'n't feel
happy until I have secured her incorporation first into the Church, and,
secondly—I suppose into the state. Yet why should I want to give her
nationality? What is the aim of a state? Material comfort,
really—nothing else. I'm tempted to give her to the Church, but deny
her to the state. Alas! it's a material world, and it's not going to be
spiritualized by me. The devil was sick, etc. No doubt at present
everything promises well for a spiritual revival after this orgy of
insane destructiveness. But history with its mania for repetition isn't
encouraging about the results of war. As a matter of fact, I've got no
right to talk about the war at present. I choked and spluttered for a
while in some of its vile back-wash, and Bucharest hasn't managed to get
the taste out of my mouth. Queenie," she said, aloud, "you know that
during these last weeks I've been going to church regularly?"
Queenie extricated herself from whatever path she was following in her
pictures and looked at Sylvia with blue eyes that were intensely willing
to believe anything her friend told her.
"I knew you were always going out," she said. "But I thought it was to
see a boy."
"Great heavens! child, do you seriously think that I should so much
object to men's getting hold of you if I were doing the same thing
myself in secret? Haven't you yet realized that I can't do things in
secret?"
"Don't be cross with me again. I think you are cross, yes?"
Sylvia shook her head. "What I want to know is: did you ever go to
church in your life, and if you did do you ever think about wanting to
go again?"
"I was going to church with my mother when I was four; my stepmother was
never going to church, and so I was never going myself until two years
ago at Christmas. There was a girl who asked me to go with her, and it
was so sweet. We looked at all the dolls, and there was a cow, but some
woman said, quite loudly: 'Well, if this is the sort of women we was
meeting on Christmas night, I'm glad Christmas only comes once in the
year.' My friend with me was very maquillée. Too much paint she was
having, really, and she said to this woman such rude things, and a man
came and was asking us to move along farther. And then outside my friend
sat down on the steps and cried and cried. Ach, it was dreadful! She
was making a scene. So I was not going more to church, because I was
always remembering this and being unhappy."
On the next day Sylvia took Queenie to the mission church and introduced
her to the priest; afterward they often went to Mass together. It was
like taking a child; Queenie asked the reason of every ceremony, and
Sylvia, who had never bothered her head with ceremonies, began to wish
she had never exposed herself to so many unanswerable questions. It
seemed to her that she had given Queenie nothing except another shadowy
land in which her vague mind would wander without direction; but the
priest was more hopeful, and undertook to give her instruction so that
she might be confirmed presently. When the question was gone into, there
was no doubt that she had been baptized, for by some freak of memory she
was able to show that she understood the reason of her being called
Concetta from being born on the 8th of December. However, the revelation
of her true name to the priest gave Queenie a horror of his company, and
nothing would induce her to go near him again, or even to enter the
church.
"This was going to bring me bad luck," she told Sylvia. "That name! that
name! How was you so unkind to tell him that name?"
Sylvia was distressed by the thought of the fear she had roused and
explained the circumstances to the priest, who, rather to her
irritation, seemed inclined to resort placidly to prayer.
"But I can only pray when I am in the mood to pray," she protested; and
though she was aware of the weakness of such a habit of mind, she was
anxious to shake the priest out of what she considered his undue
resignation to her failure with Queenie.
The fact was that the atmosphere of the Petit Maxim was getting on
Sylvia's nerves. Apart from the physical revolt that it was impossible
not to feel against the fumes of tobacco and wine, the scent of Eau de
Chypre and Quelques Fleurs, the raucous chatter of conversation and the
jangle of fidgety tunes, there was the perpetual inner resentment
against the gossip about herself and Queenie. Sylvia did not lose any of
her own joy at being able to rest in the high airs of Christian thought
away from all this by reading the books of doctrine and ecclesiastical
history that the priest lent her; but she was disappointed at her
inability to provide any alternative for Queenie except absolute
dependence upon herself. She was quite prepared to accept the final
responsibility of guardianship, and she made it clear to the child that
her ambition to have a permanent sister might be considered achieved.
What she was not prepared to do was to invoke exterior aid to get them
both back to England. She reproached herself sometimes with an
unreasonable egotism; yet when it came to the point of accepting
Philidor's offer to lend her enough money to return home, she always
drew back. Life with Queenie at Mulberry Cottage shone steadily upon the
horizon of her hopes, but she had no belief in the value of that life
unless she could reach it unaided and offer its freedom as the fruit of
her own perseverance and indomitableness. She was annoyed by Queenie's
forebodings over the revelation of her name, and her annoyance was not
any the less because she had to admit that her own behavior in holding
out against accepting the means of escape from Rumania was based upon
nothing more secure than a superstitious fancy.
The Petit Maxim closed at Easter; at the beginning of May the whole
company was re-engaged for an open-air theater called the Petit Trianon.
Sylvia and Queenie were still many francs short of their fares to
England and were forced to re-engage themselves for the summer. The new
place was an improvement on the cabaret because, at any rate during the
first half of May, it was too cold for the public to enjoy sitting about
in a garden and drinking sweet champagne. After a month, however, all
Sylvia's friends went away, some to Sinaia, whither the court had moved;
others, and among them Philidor, were sent to the Austrian frontier; the
expedition to the Dardanelles and the intervention of Italy had brought
Rumania much nearer to the prospect of entering the war. Meanwhile in
Bucharest the German agents worked more assiduously than ever to promote
neutrality and secure the passage of arms and munitions to Turkey.
At the end of May the manager of the Petit Trianon, observing that
Sylvia had for some time failed to take advantage of the warmer weather
by gathering to her table a proper number of champagne-drinkers, and
having received complaints from some of his clients that she made it
impossible to cultivate Queenie's company to the extent they would have
liked, announced to her that she was no longer wanted. Her songs at the
beginning of the evening were no attraction to the thin audience
scattered about under the trees, and he could get a cheaper first
number. This happened to be Lottie, who was engaged to thump on the
piano for half an hour at two hundred francs a month.
"I never knew that I was cutting you out," Lottie explained. "But I've
been playing for nearly four months at a dancing-hall in a low part of
the town and I only asked two hundred in desperation. He'll probably
engage you again if you'll take less."
Sylvia forced herself to ask the manager if he would not change his
mind. She hinted as a final threat that she would make Queenie leave if
he did not, and he agreed at last to engage her again at three hundred
francs instead of three hundred and fifty, which meant that she could
not save a sou toward her going home. At the same time the manager
dismissed Lottie, and everybody said that Sylvia had played a mean
trick. She would not have minded so much if she had not felt really sad
about the fat girl, who was driven back to play in a low dancing-saloon
at less than she had earned before; but she felt that there was no time
to be lost in getting Queenie away from this life, and if it were a
question of sacrificing Queenie or Lottie, it was certainly the fat girl
who must go under.
Since the manager's complaint of the way she kept admirers away from her
friend, Sylvia had for both their sakes to relax some of her
discouraging stiffness of demeanor. One young man was hopeful enough of
ultimate success to send Queenie a bunch of carnations wrapped up in a
thousand-franc note. Normally, Sylvia would have compelled her to refuse
such a large earnest of future liberality; but these months upon the
verge of penury had hardened her, and she bade Queenie keep the money,
or rather she kept it for her to prevent its being frittered away in
petty extravagance. Queenie could not hold her tongue about the
offering; and the young man, when he found that the thousand francs had
brought him no nearer to his goal than a bottle of champagne would have
done, was loud in his advertisement of the way Sylvia had let Queenie
take the money and give nothing in return. Everybody at the Petit
Trianon was positive that Sylvia was living upon her friend, and much
unpleasant gossip was brought back to them by people who of course did
not believe it themselves, but thought it right that they should know
what all the world was saying.
This malicious talk had no effect upon Queenie's devotion, but it added
greatly to Sylvia's disgust for the tawdry existence they were both
leading, and she began to play with the idea of using the thousand
francs to escape from it and get back to England. She was still some way
from bringing herself to the point of such a surrender as would be
involved by temporarily using this money, but each time that she argued
out the point with herself the necessity of doing so presented itself
more insistently. In the middle of July something occurred which swept
on one side every consideration but immediate flight.
All day long a warm and melancholy fog had suffused the suburbs of
Bucharest, from which occasional scarves of mist detached themselves to
float through the high center of the town, dislustering the air as they
went, like steam upon a shining metal. Sylvia had been intending for
some time to visit Lottie and explain to her the circumstances in which
she had been supplanted by herself; such a day as this accorded well
with such an errand. As with all cities of its class, a few minutes
after one left the main streets of Bucharest to go downhill one was
aware of the artificiality of its metropolitan claims. Within five
hundred yards of the sumptuous Calea Victoriei the side-turnings were
full of children playing in the gutter, of untidy women gossiping to one
another from untidy windows, and of small rubbish heaps along the
pavement: and a little farther on were signs of the unquiet newness of
the city in the number of half-constructed streets and half-built
houses.
Lottie lived in one of these unfinished streets in a tumble-down house
that had survived the fields by which not long ago it had been
surrounded. A creeper-covered doorway opened into a paved triangular
courtyard shaded by an unwieldy tree, along one side of which, at an
elevation of about two feet, ran Lottie's room. As Sylvia crossed the
courtyard she could see indistinct forms moving about within, and she
stopped for a moment listening to the drip of the fog above the murmur
of human voices. She did not wish to talk to Lottie in front of
strangers and turned to go back; but the fat girl had already observed
her approach and was standing on the rotten threshold to receive her.
"You're busy," Sylvia suggested.
"No, no. Come in. One of my friends is an English girl."
"But I wanted to talk to you alone. I wanted to explain that I couldn't
refuse to sing again at the Trianon; I've been worrying about you all
this time."
"Oh, that's all right," Lottie said, cheerfully. "I never expected
anything else."
"But the other girls—"
"Oh, the other girls," she repeated, with a contemptuous laugh. "Don't
worry about the other girls. People can always afford to be generous in
this world if it doesn't hurt themselves and does hurt somebody else.
One or two of them came here to condole with me, and I'm sure they got
more pleasure out of seeing my wretched lodging than I got out of their
sympathy. Come in and forget all about them."
Sylvia squeezed her pudgy hand gratefully; it was a relief to find that
the object of so much commiseration had grasped the shallowness of it.
"Who are your friends?" she whispered.
"The man's a juggler who wants an engagement at the Trianon. He's a
Swiss called Krebs. The girl's an English dancer and singer called Maud.
You'll see them both up there to-night for certain. You may as well come
in. What a dreary day, isn't it?"
Sylvia agreed and was aware of ascribing to the weather the faint
malaise that she experienced on following Lottie into her room, which
smelled of stale wall-paper and musty wood, and which, on account of the
overhanging tree and the dirty French windows, was dark and miserable
enough.
"Excuse me getting up to shake hands," said Krebs, in excellent English.
"But this furniture is too luxurious."
He was lying back, smoking a cigarette in an armchair all the legs of
which were missing and the rest of it covered with exudations of
flocculence that resembled dingy cauliflowers. Sylvia saw that he was a
large man with a large undefined face of dark complexion. He offered a
huge hand, brutal and clumsy in appearance, an inappropriate hand for a
juggler, she thought, vaguely. His companion, crudely colored and
shapeless as a quilt, sprawled on another chair. Everything about this
woman was defiant; her harsh accent, the feathers in her hat, her loose
mouth, her magenta cheeks, her white boa, and her white boots affronted
the world like an angry housemaid.
"This is a fine hole, this Rumania," she shrilled. "Gawd! I went to the
English consul at Galantza, expecting to be treated with a little
consideration, and the —— pushed me out of his office. Yes, we read a
great deal about England nowadays, but I've been better treated by
everybody than what I have by the English. Stuck-up la-di-da set of ——,
that's what they are, and anybody as likes can hear me say so."
She raised her voice for the benefit of the listeners without that might
be waiting anxiously upon her words.
"Don't kick up such a row," Krebs commanded; but Maud paid no attention
to him and went on.
"England! Yes, I left England ten years ago, and if it wasn't for my
poor old mother I'd never go back. Treat you as dirt, that's what the
English do. That consul threw me out of his office the same as a
commissionnaire might throw any old two-and-four out of the Empire.
Yes, they talk a lot about patriotism and all pulling one way, but when
you ask a consul to lend you the price of your fare to Bucharest, you
don't hear no more about patriotism. As I said to him, 'I suppose you
don't think I'm English?' and he sat there grinning for answer. Yes, I
reckon when they christened that talking chimpanzee at the Hippodrome
'Consul' it was done by somebody who'd had a bit of consul in his time.
What's a consul for? That's what I'm asking. As I said to him, 'What are
you for? Are you paid,' I said, 'to sit there smoking cigarettes for the
good of your country?' 'This ain't a workhouse,' he answered, very
snotty. 'You're right,' I said. 'No fear about any one ever making that
mistake. Why, I reckon it's a bloody sleeping-car, I do.' And with that
I slung my hook out of it. Yes, I could have been very rude to him; only
it was beneath me, the uneducated la-di-da savage! Well, all he's done
is to put me against my own country. That's his war work."
The tirade exhausted itself, and Sylvia, unwilling to be Maud's sponsor
at the Petit Trianon that evening, made some excuse to leave. While she
was walking across the courtyard with Lottie, she heard:
"And who's she? I'll have to tell her off, that's very plain. Did you
see the way she looked down her nose at me? Nice thing if any one can't
say what they think of a consul without being stared at like a mummy by
her."
Sylvia asked Lottie if she had known this couple long.
"I've known him a year or two, but she's new. I met them coming up from
the railway station this morning. The girl was stranded without any
money at Galantza, and Krebs brought her on here. He's a fine juggler
and conjurer. Zozo he calls himself on the stage."
Sylvia's heart throbbed as she climbed the streets that led toward the
high center of the city away from the hot mists below: it was imperative
to get Queenie out of Rumania at once, and while she walked along she
began to wonder if she could not procure an English passport, the
delight of possessing which would counterbalance for Queenie the shock
of hearing that the dreaded Zozo was in Bucharest.
"It's such a ridiculous name for a bogy," Sylvia thought. "And the man
himself was not a bit as I pictured him. I'd always imagined some one
lithe and subtle. I wonder what his object was in helping that painted
hussy he was with. Queer, rather."
She reached the British Consulate, but was told rather severely to
direct herself to the special office that occupied itself with
passports.
"Do you want a visa for England?" the clerk inquired.
"Yes, and I also want to inquire about a new passport for my sister,
who's lost hers."
"Lost her passport?" the clerk echoed; he shuddered at the information.
"It seems to upset you," Sylvia said.
"Well, it's a pretty serious matter in war-time," he explained.
"However, we have nothing to do with passports at the Consulate."
The clerk washed his hands of Sylvia's past and future, and she left the
Consulate to discover the other office. By the time she arrived it was
nearly five o'clock, and the clerk looked hurt at receiving a visitor so
late.
"Do you want a visa for England?" he asked.
She nodded, and he pointed to a printed notice that hung above his desk.
"The morning is the time to make such applications," he told her,
fretfully.
"Then why are you open in the afternoon?" Sylvia asked.
"If the application is favorably entertained, the recommendation is
granted in the afternoon. You must then take your passport to the
Consulate for the consular visa, which can only be done in the morning
between twelve and one."
It was like the eternal competition between the tube-lifts and the
tube-trains, she thought.
"But they told me at the Consulate that they have nothing to do with
passports."
"The Consulate has nothing to do with passports until the applicant
for a visa has been approved here."
"Then I must come again to-morrow morning?" Sylvia asked.
"To-morrow morning," the clerk repeated, bending over with intrepid
fervor to the responsible task upon which he was engaged. Sylvia
wondered what it was: the whole traffic of Europe might hang upon these
few minutes.
"I'm sorry to interrupt you again," she said. "But in addition to
requiring a visa, my sister wants a new passport."
She decided not to say anything about a lost passport, the revelation of
which had so much shocked the man at the Consulate.
"Miss Johnstone," the clerk called in a weary voice to somebody in an
inner office, "kindly bring Form AQ—application for renewal of expired
passport."
A vague-looking young woman, who seemed to have been collecting native
jewelry since her arrival in Bucharest, tinkled into the office.
"There aren't any AQ forms left, Mr. Mathers," she said, plaiting, as
she spoke, a necklace of coins into another of what looked like broken
pieces of mosaic.
"It really is too bad that the forms are not given out more regularly,"
Mr. Mathers cried, in exasperation. "How am I to finish transferring
these Greeks beginning with C to K? You know how anxious Mr. Iredale
is to get the index in order, and the F's haven't been checked with
the Ph's yet."
"Well, it's Miss Henson's day off," said Miss Johnstone, "so it's not my
fault, is it? I'm sure I hate the forms! They're always a bother. Won't
an AP one do for this lady? We've a lot of them left, and there's only a
difference in one question."
"Excuse me," Sylvia asked. "Did you mention a Mr. Iredale?"
"Mr. Iredale is the O.C.P.T.N.C. for Bucharest," said Mr. Mathers.
"Not Mr. Philip Iredale, by chance?" she went on.
That transposition of Greek initials had sounded uncommonly like Philip.
"That's right," the clerk replied.
"Oh well, I know him. I should like to see him personally."
"See Mr. Iredale? But he's the O.C.P.T.N.C."
"Does that confer invisibility?" she asked. "I tell you I'm a friend of
his. If you send up my card I'm sure he'll see me."
"But he never sees anybody," Mr. Mathers objected. "I'm afraid you
didn't understand that he's the Officer Controlling Passenger Traffic
from Neutral Countries in Bucharest. If he was to see everybody that
came to this office, he wouldn't be able to control himself, let alone
passenger traffic. No, really, joking apart, madam, Mr. Iredale is very
busy and by no means well."
"He's worn out," put in Miss Johnstone, who, having by now plaited four
necklaces into a single coil, was swinging the result round and round
like a skipping-rope. "His nerves are worn out. But if you like, I'll
take up your card."
"You might ask him at the same time if he wants all the Greek names
entered under Y transferred to G, will you?" said Mr. Mathers. "Oh,
and Miss Johnstone," he called after her, "there seems to be some
confusion between Tch and Ts. Ask him if he's got any preference.
Awful names the people in this part of Europe get hold of," he added to
Sylvia. "Even Mr. Iredale can't transpose the Russians, and of course
the War Office likes accuracy. There was rather a strafe the other day
because a man traveling from here to Spain got arrested three times on
the way, owing to his name being rather like a suspect spelled
differently by us, the French, and the Italians. As a matter of fact,
the original suspect's dead, but his name was spelled a fourth way in
the notification that was sent around, and so it's not realized yet."
"It must be rather like that whispering game," Sylvia said. "You know,
where somebody at one end of the room starts a sentence and it comes out
quite differently at the other."
Sylvia could not make out why she did not feel more nervous when she was
following Miss Johnstone up-stairs to meet Philip for the first time
since she had run away from him, thirteen years ago. The fact was that
her anxiety to escape from Rumania with Queenie outweighed everything
else, and she was so glad to find somebody she knew in a position of
authority who would be able to help her in the matter of Queenie's
passport that any awkwardness was quenched in relief. The discovery of
Philip was such an encouraging answer by destiny to the reappearance of
Zozo.
He came forward to greet her from behind a large roll-top desk, and she
saw that he looked tired and ill, yet, except for his baldness, not
really much older.
"Would you have recognized me, Philip?" she asked.
He was far more nervous than she was, and he stumbled a good deal over
Mr. Mathers's questions.
"I'll tell him you're too busy now to answer," said Miss Johnstone at
last in a cheerful voice.
This was a happy solution of the problem of Ts and Tch, and Philip
gratefully accepted it.
"And I dare say I might find time to help him with the transpositions,
if you're very anxious to get them done."
"Oh, will you? Yes, thank you, that would be excellent."
Miss Johnstone turned to leave the room; one of her necklaces broke
under the strain of continuous plaiting, and a number of tiny green
shells peppered the floor.
"There, that's the third time it's done that to-day," she exclaimed.
"I'm so sorry."
Sylvia, Philip, and she gathered up as many as were not trodden upon in
the search, and at last Miss Johnstone managed to get out of the room.
"No wonder you're worn out," said Sylvia, with a smile. It seemed quite
natural to comment rather intimately like this upon Philip's health.
"But you haven't answered my question. Would you have recognized me?"
"Oh yes, I should have recognized you. I only saw you last year at the
Pierian Hall."
"Did you go to see me there?" she exclaimed, touched by his having
wanted to see her act without letting her know anything about his visit.
"Yes, I enjoyed the performance; it was excellent. I wonder why you're
in Bucharest. Wouldn't you be better in England in war-time?"
"I think it's much more surprising to find you here," she said.
"Oh, I was sent out here to look after passports."
"But, Philip, why were you chosen as an expert on human nature?"
She could not resist the little stab; and he smiled sadly.
"I knew the country," he explained. "I'd done some excavating here, so
the War Office made me an honorary captain and sent me out."
"Are you a captain? What fun! Do you remember when I wanted you to
enlist for the South African War and you were so annoyed? But I suppose
you're shocked by my reviving old memories like this. Are you shocked,
Philip?"
"No, no, I'm not shocked. I'm still rather overcome by the suddenness of
your visit. What are you doing here?"
"I'm singing at the Trianon. All the winter I was at the Petit Maxim."
"Those places," he said, with a look of distaste.
"It would take too long to explain to you why," she went on. "But you
can't disapprove of my being there more than I do myself; and it's for
that very reason that I want a visa for England."
"Of course you shall have one immediately. You're much better at home in
these detestable times."
"But I also want something else. I want a passport for a friend—an
English girl."
"Hasn't she got a passport? Does she want hers renewed?"
"I'd better tell you the whole story. I expect that since you've become
the U.V.W.X.Y.Z. of Bucharest you've listened to plenty of sad stories,
but you must pay special attention to this one for my sake. I don't know
why I say 'for my sake'—it's rather an improper remark for a divorced
wife. Philip, do you remember in my show at the Pierian an Improvisation
about a girl who had been horribly ill treated as a child and was
supposed to be lost in a great city?"
"Yes, I think I do; in fact, I'm sure I do. I remember that at the time
I was reminded of our first meeting in Brompton Cemetery." He blinked
once or twice very quickly, and coughed in his old embarrassed way.
"Well, that's the girl for whom I want a passport."
Sylvia told him Queenie's story in detail from the time she met her
first in Granada to the present moment under the shadow of Zozo's
return.
"But, my dear Sylvia, I can't possibly procure an English passport for
her. She's not English."
"I want her to be my sister," Sylvia pursued. "I'm prepared to adopt her
and to be responsible for her. Any difference in the name she has been
generally known by can easily be put down to the needs of the stage. I
myself want to take once more my own name, Sylvia Snow, and I thought
you could issue two passports, one to Sylvia Snow, professionally known
as Sylvia Scarlett, and the other to Queenie Snow, known professionally
as Queenie Walters. Surely you won't let mere pedantry interfere with a
deed of charity?"
"It's not a question of pedantry. This is war-time. I should render
myself liable to—to—a court martial for doing a thing like that.
Besides, the principle of the thing is all wrong."
"But you don't seem to understand."
"Indeed I understand perfectly," Philip interrupted. "This girl was born
in Germany."
"Of an Italian father."
"What papers has she?" he asked.
"None at all. That's the whole point. She couldn't get even a German
passport if she wanted to. But she doesn't want one. She longs to be
English. It's the solitary clear ambition that she has. She was living
in England before war broke out, and she only came away to help this
girl who was kind to her. Surely the most rigid rule can be unbent to
fit a special case?"
"I could not possibly assume the responsibility," Philip declared.
"Then you mean to say you'll condemn this child to damnation—for that's
what you're doing with your infernal rules and regulations? You're
afraid of what will happen to you."
"Excuse me, even if I were certain that nothing could possibly be known
about the circumstances in which this passport was issued, I should
still refuse the application. Everybody suffers in this war; I suffer
myself in a minor degree by having to abandon my own work and masquerade
in this country as what you well call a U.V.W.X.Y.Z."
"But even if we grant that in some cases suffering is inevitable,"
Sylvia urged, eagerly, "here's a case where it is not. Here's a case
where, by applying a touch of humanity, you can save a soul. But I won't
put it that way, because I know you have no use for souls. Here's a case
where you can save a body for civilization, for that fetish on whose
account you find yourself in Bucharest and half Europe is slaughtering
the other half. You are not appealing to any divine law when you refuse
to grant this passport: you are appealing to a human law. Very well,
then. You are in your own way at this moment fighting for England; yet
when somebody longs to be English you refuse her. If there is any
reality behind your patriotism, if it is not merely the basest
truckling to a name, a low and cowardly imitation of your next-door
neighbor whose opinion of yourself you fear as much as he fears your
opinion of him, if your patriotism is not just this, you'll be glad to
give this child the freedom of your country. Philip, you and I made a
mess of things. I was to blame for half the mess; but when you married
me, though you married me primarily to please yourself, there was
another motive behind—the desire to give a lonely little girl a chance
to deal with the life that was surging round her more and more
dangerously every day. Now you have another opportunity of doing the
same thing, and this time without any personal gratification. It isn't
as if I were asking you to do something that could possibly hurt
England. I tell you I will be responsible for her. If the worst came to
the worst and anything were found out, I could always take the blame and
you could never be even censured for accepting my word in such a case."
Sylvia could see by Philip's face that her arguments were doing nothing
to convince him, yet she went on, desperately:
"And if you refuse this, you don't merely condemn her, you condemn me,
too. Nothing will induce me to abandon her to that man. By your bowing
down to the letter of the regulation you expose me for the second time
to the life that you drove me to before."
Philip made a gesture of protest.
"Very well, then I won't accuse you of being responsible on the first
occasion, certainly not wantonly. But this time, if I'm driven to the
same life, it will be your fault and your fault alone. I'm not going
to bother about my body if I think that by destroying it I can save a
soul. I shall stick at nothing to preserve Queenie—at nothing, do you
hear? You have the chance to send us both safely back to England.
Philip, you won't refuse!"
"I'm sorry. It's terribly painful for me to say 'no.' But it's
impossible. Only quite recently the Foreign Office sent round a warning
that we were to be specially careful in this part of the world. No
papers of naturalization are issued in time of war. Why, I'm sent here
to Bucharest for the express purpose of preventing people like your
friend obtaining fraudulent passports."
"The Foreign Office!" Sylvia scoffed. "How can you expect people not to
be Christians? It was just to redeem mankind from the sin that creates
Foreign Offices and War Offices and bureaucrats and shoddy kings and
lawyers and politicians that Christ died. Oh, you can sneer! but your
belief is condemned out of your own mouth. You puny little U.V.W.X.Y.Z.
with your nose buried in your own waste-paper basket, with a red
tapeworm gnawing at your vitals, with some damned fool of a
narrow-headed general for an idol, you have the impertinence to sneer at
Christianity. Do you think that after this war people are going to be
content with the kind of criminal state that you represent? Life is not
a series of rules, but a set of exceptions. Philip, forgive me if I have
been rude, and let this girl have a passport, please, please!"
"You must not think," Philip answered, "that because I plead the
necessities of war in defense of what strikes you as mere bureaucratic
obscurantism that therefore I am defending war itself; I loathe war from
the bottom of my heart. But just as painful operations are often
necessary in accidents which might easily have been avoided, yet which
having happened must be cured in the swiftest way, so in war-time for
the good of the majority the wrongs of the nation must take precedence
over the wrongs of the individual. I sympathize profoundly with the
indignation that you feel on account of this girl, but the authorities
in England, after due consideration of the danger likely to accrue to
the state from the abuse of British nationality by aliens, have decided
to enforce with the greatest strictness the rules about the granting of
passports."
"Oh, don't explain the reasons to me as if I were a baby," Sylvia burst
in. "The proposition of the Foreign Office is self-evident in its
general application. My point is with you personally. You are not a
professional bureaucrat who depends for his living on his capacity for
dehumanizing himself. In this case you have a special reason to exercise
your rights and your duties as an amateur. You are as positive as you
can ever hope to be positive about anything, even your absurd positivist
creed, that while no harm can result to your country, a great mercy will
be conferred upon an individual as the result of enlightened action."
"It is precisely this introduction of the personal element," Philip
said, "that confirms me in refusing your request. You are taking
advantage of—our—of knowing me to gain your point. As a stranger you
would not stand the least chance of doing this, and you have no business
to make the matter a personal one. You don't seem to realize what such a
proceeding would involve. It is not merely a question of issuing a
passport as passports used to be issued before the war on the
applicant's bare word. A whole set of searching questions has to be
answered in writing, and you ask me to put my name to a tissue of lies.
Go back to England yourself. You have done your best for this girl, and
you must bow before circumstances. She has reached Rumania, and if she
does not try to leave it, she will be perfectly all right."
"But have you appreciated what I told you about this man who has just
arrived? He's a German-Swiss, and if he's not a spy, he has all the
makings of one. Suppose he gets hold of Queenie again? Can't you see
that on the lowest ground of material advantage you are justified—more
than justified, you owe it to your country to avoid the risk of creating
another enemy?"
"My dear Sylvia," said Philip, more impatiently than he had spoken yet,
"it is none of my business to interfere with potential agents of the
enemy. I have quite enough to do to keep pace with the complete
article. If your little friend is in danger of being turned into a spy,
it seems to me that you have stated the final argument against granting
your request."
"If she were with me, she could never become a spy; but if I were to
leave her helpless here, anything might happen. I am struggling for this
child's soul, Philip, more bitterly than I ever struggled for my own.
Your mind is occupied with the murder of human bodies: my mind is
obsessed with the destruction of human souls."
"Well, if I accept your own definition of your attitude," Philip
answered, "perhaps you will admit that logically a passport occupies
itself with the body, and that Christians do not consider nationality
necessary to salvation. I can't make out your exalted frame of mind. You
used to be rather sensible on this subject. But if, as I gather, you
have taken refuge in that common weakness of humanity—religion—let me
recommend you to find therein the remedy for your friend's future."
"Yes, I suppose logically you've scored," Sylvia said, slowly.
"But please don't think I want to score," Philip went on in a distressed
voice. "Please understand that for me to refuse is torture. I've often
wondered about a judge's emotions when he puts on the black cap; but
since I've faded out of real life into this paper world I've worn myself
out with worrying over private griefs and miseries. It's only because I
feel that, if every one on our side does not martyr himself for a year
or so, the future of the world will be handed over to this kind of
thing; and that is an unbearable thought."
"You're very optimistic about the effect upon your own side," Sylvia
said. "Have you such faith in humanity as to suppose that this war will
cure it more radically than all the wars that have gone before? I doubt
it. When I listened to our arguments this afternoon, I began to wonder
if either side is fighting for anything but a sterile nominalism. I
can't argue any more. It's not your fault, Philip. You lack the creative
instinct. I'll fight out this Queenie business by myself without
invoking state aid. I am rather ashamed of myself, really. I feel as if
I'd been compelled to ask a policeman the way. Perhaps I've got
everything out of proportion. Women usually manage to do that, somehow.
There must be something very satisfying about personal conflict—bayonet
to bayonet, I mean: but even in the trenches I suppose men get taken out
and shot for cowardice. Even there you wouldn't escape from the grim
abstract heartlessness that hangs like a fog over a generalized
humanity—generalized is doubly appropriate in this connection. What a
wretched thing man is in the mass and how rare and wonderful in the
individual! The mass creates that arch-bureaucrat, God, and the
individual seeks the heart of Christ. Good-by, Philip, I'm sorry you
look so ill. I'm afraid I've tired you. No, no," she added, seeing that
he was bracing himself up to talk about themselves. "This wasn't really
the personal intrusion you accuse me of making. We were never very near
to one another, and we are more remote than ever now."
"But what about your own visa?" he asked.
"It's no use to me at present. When I want it, I'll apply in the morning
to Mr. Mathers and come for it in the afternoon, most correctly. I
promise to attempt no more breaches in the formality of your office. By
the way, one favor I would ask: please don't come to the Trianon. You
wouldn't understand the argot in my songs, and if you did you wouldn't
understand my being able to sing them. Get better."
"Yes, I'm taking Sanatogen," Philip said, hopefully. At this moment Miss
Johnstone entered with a cup on a small tray, which, just escaping being
lassoed by one of her chains, was set down on his desk.
"I'm afraid I haven't got it quite so smooth as Miss Henson does," said
Miss Johnstone.
"Oh, never mind, please. It was so kind of you to remember."
"Well, I didn't think you ought to miss it on Miss Henson's day off."
Sylvia waved her hand and left him with Miss Johnstone; he seemed to be
hesitating between the injury to her feelings if he did not take the
lumpy mixture and the harm to his digestion if he did.
"Even offices are subject to the clash of temperament on temperament,"
said Sylvia to herself. "A curious thing really that Philip should be
prepared to choke himself over a cup of badly mixed Sanatogen rather
than wound that young woman's feelings, and yet that he should be able
to refuse me what I asked him to do this afternoon."
She nodded to Mr. Mathers as she passed through the outer office, who
jumped up and opened the door for her. He had evidently been impressed
by the length of her interview with the O.C.P.T.N.C. in Bucharest.
"I believe I've had the pleasure of hearing you sing," he murmured. "Are
you staying long at the Trianon?"
"I hope not," she answered.
"Quite, quite," he murmured, nodding his head with an air of deep
comprehension, while he bowed her forth with marked courtesy.
The fog had cleared away when Sylvia started to walk back to her hotel,
and though it was still very hot, there was a sparkle in the air that
made it seem fresher than it really was. The argument with Philip had
braced her point of view to accord with the lightening of the weather;
it had thrown her so entirely back upon her own resources that the
notion of ever having supposed for an instant that he could help her in
the fight for Queenie now appeared ludicrous. Although her arguments had
been unavailing, and although at the end Philip had actually defeated
her by the very logic on which she prided herself, she nevertheless felt
wonderfully elated at the prospect of a struggle with Zozo and no
longer in the least sensible of that foreboding dejection which was
lying so heavily upon her heart when she left Lottie's house three hours
ago.
Poor Philip! He had spoken of his own sufferings in a minor degree from
the war. Yet to be rooted up at his age—he was nearly fifty, after
all—and to be set down in Rumania to dig for human motives, he who had
no instinct to dig for anything but dry bones and ancient pottery, it
was surely for him suffering in a major degree. He had been so
pathetically proud of being a captain, and at the same time so obviously
conscious of the radical absurdity of himself in such a position; it was
like a prematurely old child playing with soldiers to gratify his
parents. And here in a neutral country he was even debarred from
dressing up in uniform. When she first saw him she had been surprised to
find that he did not appear much older than thirteen years ago; now,
looking back at him in his office, he seemed to her a very old man. Poor
Philip, he did not belong to the type that is rejuvenated in war-time by
a sense of his official importance. Sylvia had seen illustrations in
English newspapers of beaming old gentlemen "doing," as it was called,
"their bit," proud of the nuisance they must be making of themselves,
incorrigible optimists about the tonic effects of war because they had
succeeded in making their belts meet round their fat paunches,
pantaloons that should have buried themselves out of sight instead of
pirouetting while young men were being killed in a war for which they
and their accursed Victorianism were responsible by licking the boots of
Prussia for fifty years.
Sylvia found Queenie in a state of agitation at her long absence; she
did not tell her anything about Zozo at once, in the hope that he would
not come to the Trianon on the first night of his arrival. She did think
it advisable, however, to tell Queenie of her failure to secure the
passport.
"Then we can't be going to England?" Queenie asked.
"Well, not directly from here," Sylvia answered. "But we'll move on as
soon as we can into Bulgaria. We can get down to the Piræus from
Dedeagatch. I don't think these neutral countries are very strict about
passports. We'll manage somehow to get away from here."
"But if we cannot be going to England why must we be going from
Bucharest? Better to stay, I think. Yes?"
"We might want to go," Sylvia said. "We might get tired of the Trianon.
It wouldn't be difficult."
"I shall never be going to England now," said Queenie, in a toneless
voice. "Never shall I be going! I shall learn a new song and a new
dance, yes?"
Sylvia felt tired after her long afternoon and thought she would rest
for an hour before getting ready for the evening's work. The mist
gathered again at sunset, and the gardens of the theater, though they
were unusually full, lacked any kind of gaiety. When they were walking
down the narrow laurel-bordered path that screened the actors from the
people sitting at their tables under the trees, Sylvia was sure that
Zozo would be standing by the stage door at the end of it; but he was
nowhere to be seen. After the performance, however, when they came out,
as the custom was, to take their seats in the audience, the juggler made
a dramatic appearance from behind a tree; Queenie seemed to lose all her
fairy charm and become a terrified little animal.
"I don't think there's room at our table for you," Sylvia said.
"There are plenty of chairs," Maud insisted, stridently; she had
followed the juggler into the lamplight round the table.
"I'm quite sure there's no room for you," said Sylvia, sharply; and,
taking advantage of Queenie's complete limpness, she dragged her away by
the wrist and explained quickly to the manager, who was walking up and
down by the entrance gate, that Queenie was ill and must go home at
once.
"Ill!" he exclaimed, skeptically. "Well, I shall have to fine you both
your evening's salary. Why, it's only half past eleven!"
Sylvia did not wait to argue with him, but hurried Queenie to a
carriage, in which they drove back immediately to their hotel.
"I said to you that it was going to bring me bad luck when you said to
that priest my real name. Ach! what shall I be doing? What shall I be
doing now?" Queenie wailed.
"You must pay no attention to him," Sylvia told her; but she found that
Queenie did not recover herself as she usually did at the tone of
command. "What can he do to you while you're with me?" she continued.
"You don't know him," Queenie moaned. "He's very strong. Look at the
mark on my leg where he was shooting me. Ach, if we could be going to
England, but we cannot. We are here and he is here. You are not strong
like he was, Sylvia."
"If you're going to give way like this before he has touched you and
frighten yourself to death in advance, of course he'll do what he likes,
because I can do nothing without support from you. But if you'll try to
be a little bit brave and remember that I can protect you, everything
will be all right and we'll get away from Rumania at the first
opportunity."
"Ach, you have papers. You are English. Nobody will protect me. Any
one was being able to do what they was liking to do with me."
Sylvia tried to argue courage into her until early morning; but Queenie
adopted an attitude of despair, and it was impossible to convince her
that Zozo could not at whatever moment he chose take her away, and, if
he wished, murder her without any one's interfering or being able to
interfere. In the end Sylvia fell asleep exhausted, resolving that if
Queenie was not in a more courageous frame of mind next day she should
not move from the hotel. When Sylvia woke up she found that Queenie was
already dressed to go out, and for an instant she feared that the
juggler's power over her was strong enough to will her to go back to him
by the mere sense of his being near at hand. She asked her almost
angrily why she had dressed herself so quietly and where she was going.
"To the hairdresser's," Queenie answered, in a normal voice.
Sylvia was puzzled what to do. She did not like to put the idea into
Queenie's head of the juggler's being able to mesmerize her into
following him apparently of her own accord, and if she really intended
to go to the hairdresser's, it might imply that the terror of the night
before had burned itself out. Certainly she did not seem very nervous
this morning. It was taking a risk, but probably the only way out of the
situation was by taking risks, and in the end she decided not to oppose
her going out by herself.
Two hours passed; when Queenie had not returned to the hotel Sylvia went
out and made inquiries at the hairdresser's. Yes, she had been there
earlier that morning and had bought several bottles of scent. Sylvia
made a gesture of disapproval; scent was an extravagance of Queenie's,
and she was strictly rationed in this regard on account of the urgency
of saving all the money they could for their journey. She returned to
the hotel; Queenie was still absent, and she opened her bag to look for
the address of a girl whom Queenie occasionally visited; she found the
card, but the thousand-franc note that she was guarding for her had
vanished. Queenie must have joined that infernal Swiss, after all, and
the old instinct of propitiating him with money had been too strong for
her.
"Fool that I was to let her go this morning," Sylvia cried. As she
spoke, Queenie came in, her cheeks flushed with excitement, her arms
full of packages.
"Where have you been and what have you been doing?" she demanded.
"Oh, you must pardon me for taking the money from your bag," Queenie
cried. "I was taking it to buy presents for all the girls."
"Presents for the girls?" Sylvia echoed, in amazement.
"Yes, yes, it was the only way to make them on my side against him.
To-night in the dressing-room I shall give these beautiful presents. I
was spending all of my thousand francs. It was no use any longer,
because we cannot be going to England. Better that I was buying these
presents to make all the girls be on my side."
Sylvia was between laughter and tears, but she could not bring herself
to be angry with the child; at least her action showed that she was
taking her own part against the juggler. Queenie spent the rest of the
day quite happily, arranging how the presents were to be allotted. Those
that were small enough she put into chocolate-boxes that she had bought
for this purpose; the larger ones were tied up with additional pink and
blue silk ribbons to compensate for the lack of a box. To each
present—there were fifteen of them—a picture post-card was tied, on
which Sylvia had to write the name of the girl for whom it was intended
with heaps of love and kisses from Queenie; it was like a child
preparing for her Christmas party.
They went down to the Trianon earlier than usual in order that Queenie
might get ready in time to sit at the entrance of the dressing-room and
hand each girl her present as she came in. Sylvia tried to look as
cheerful as possible under the ordeal, for she did not want to confirm
the tale that she was living on Queenie's earnings by seeming to grudge
her display of generosity. The girls were naturally eager to know the
reason of the unexpected entertainment. When Queenie took each of them
aside in turn and whispered a long confidence in her ear, Sylvia
supposed that she was explaining about the advent of Zozo; but it turned
out Queenie was explaining that, having no longer any need for the
money since she could not get a passport for England, she was doing now
what she had wanted to do before, but had been unable to do on account
of saving up for the journey. Sylvia remonstrated with her for this
indiscretion, and she said:
"I think it was you that was being silly, not me, yes? If I say to these
girls, 'Here is a silver brush, help me against Zozo,' they was thinking
that I was buying them to help me. But when he tries to take me, I shall
call out to them and they will be loving me for these presents and will
be fighting against him, I think, yes?"
Sylvia had her doubts, but she had not the heart to discourage such
trust in the grateful appreciation of her companions.
Neither Zozo nor Maud came to the Trianon that evening; nevertheless,
outside on the playbill was an announcement that next Sunday would
appear Zozo: LE MEILLEUR PRESTIDIGITATEUR DU MONDE.
"It was always so that he was writing himself," said Queenie, when
Sylvia read her the announcement; she spoke in a voice of awe as if the
playbill had been inscribed by a warning fate. In due course the juggler
made a successful first appearance, dressed in green, with a snake of
shimmering tinsel wound round him. They watched the performance from the
wings; when he came off he asked Queenie with a laugh if she would stand
for his dagger act, as in the old days she had stood.
"You've got Maud for that," Sylvia interposed quickly.
"Maud!" he scoffed.
Earlier in the evening she had thundered about the stage in what was
described as the world-famous step-dance of the world-famous American
cowgirl Maud Moffat, to the authentic and original native melody, which
happened this year to be "On the Mississippi," and might just as easily
have been "A Life on the Ocean Wave."
Sylvia was puzzled by the relationship between Zozo and Maud, for there
was evidently nothing even in the nature of affection between them, and
as far as she could make out they had never met until the day he paid
her fare from Galantza to Bucharest. Her first idea had been that he was
a German agent and intended to use Maud in that capacity, her
patriotism, judging by her loud denunciations of England and everything
English, not being very deep. But Sylvia had already outlived the habit
of explaining as a spy every one in war-time that is not immediately and
blatantly obvious. She could imagine nobody less fitted to be a spy than
Maud, who was attractive neither to her compatriots nor to foreigners,
and who, even had she possessed attraction, would have had no brains to
take advantage of it. Yet she came back to the theory that Zozo was a
German agent when she saw with whom he consorted in Bucharest, and she
decided that when he had brought Maud here he had done so in the hope of
having found a useful recruit, but that on discovering her dull
coarseness he had come to the conclusion that her hostility to England
was counterbalanced by England's hostility to her. Sylvia decided that
if her surmises were at all near to being correct she must be
particularly on her guard against any attempt on the part of the Swiss
to corrupt Queenie. She had supposed at first that she should only have
to contend with his lust or with his desire of personal domination; now
it seemed that the argument she had used with Philip to procure Queenie
a passport had really been a sound argument. Superficially Queenie might
not strike anybody as a valuable agent; knowing her charm for men, her
complete malleableness, and her almost painful simplicity, Sylvia could
imagine that she might be a practical weapon in the hands of an
unscrupulous adventurer like the Swiss, who was finding, like so many
other rascals of his type, that in war natural dishonesty is a lucrative
asset. She wondered to what extent her ideas about his intentions were
based upon his behavior at Granada, and whether, after all, she was not
attributing to him all sorts of schemes of which he was entirely
innocent. Really he had always been for her a symbol of evil that she
was inclined to turn into a crude personification. It was strange the
way that one was apt, in changing one's mode of life, to abandon
simultaneously the experience one had gathered formerly. Most probably
she was giving this juggler with an absurd name an importance quite
beyond his power, simply because she herself was giving her present
surroundings a permanence far more durable and extensive than they
actually possessed. After all, could one but realize it, the way from
the Petit Trianon to Mulberry Cottage did exist as a material fact:
there was no impassable gulf of space or time between them.
After Zozo had been juggling for about a fortnight in Bucharest without
having given the least sign of wanting to interfere with Queenie, Sylvia
began to think that she had worked herself up for nothing, though the
problem of his relationship to Maud, with whom he remained on terms of
contemptuous intimacy, still puzzled her. She thought of making a report
on the queer association to Philip, but she was afraid he might think it
was an excuse to meet him again; and since Philip himself had made no
effort to follow up their interview, she gave up speculating upon Zozo
and Maud and took to speculating instead upon Philip's want of
curiosity, as she called it. Unreasonable as she admitted to herself
that the emotion was, she could not help being piqued by his
indifference, and she resented now the compassion she had felt for him
when she left the office that afternoon. She could not understand any
man, however badly a woman had treated him—and she had not treated
Philip badly—being able to contemplate so calmly that woman's existence
as a cabaret singer without wanting to know what had brought her to it
so short a time after her success. No, certainly she should not trouble
Philip with her suspicions of Zozo and Maud; it was inviting a rebuff.
Just when Sylvia was beginning to feel reassured about Queenie and not
to worry about anything except the waste of that thousand francs and the
continuous difficulties in the way of saving any money, the girls at the
Trianon began to whisper among themselves. Queenie's presents had given
her a brief popularity that began to fade when it was evident that no
more presents were coming; her attempt to secure the friendship of her
companions, inasmuch as it seemed a token of weakness, reacted against
her and made her in the end less popular than before. The story about
the refusal of a passport by the British authorities was soon magnified
into a demand for her expulsion from Rumania as a German agent
masquerading as an English girl. Hence the whispers. The French girls
were naturally the most venomous; but the Austrian girls were nearly as
bad, because, having lived for months under the perpetual taunt of being
spies, they were anxious to re-establish their own virtue at Queenie's
expense. Zozo commiserated with her on the unfairness of the whispers,
and one evening, to Sylvia's dismay, Queenie told her that he had
offered to secure her a passport and take her with him when he left
Bucharest.
"He was really being very nice to me," Queenie said. "Oh, Sylvia, what
shall I do? I cannot be staying here with these girls who are so unkind
to me."
The following evening Sylvia asked Zozo straight out about the kind of
passport he proposed to find for Queenie and where he proposed to take
her.
The juggler sneered.
"That's my business, I think. What can you do for her? If the kid's
anything, she's German. What the hell's the good of you trying to make
her English? Why don't you let her alone instead of stopping her from
earning good money?"
Sylvia kept her temper with a great effort and contented herself with
denying that Queenie was German and with asking who had first made the
assertion. The juggler spat on the floor and walked away without
replying.
After the performance that night, a hot, thunderous night in August,
Zozo, with Maud and two well-known pro-German natives, took the next
table to Sylvia and Queenie. Maud was drinking heavily and presently she
began to talk in a loud voice:
"Well, I may have spoken against England once or twice, but, thank Gawd,
I'm not a bloody little yellow-haired German pretending to be English. I
never went and tried to pass off a dirty little German as my sister the
same as what some people who's proud of being English does. Yes, I earn
my living honestly. I've never heard any one call me a spy, and any ——
as did wouldn't do it twice. My name's Maud Moffat, born and bred a
cockney, and proud I am when I see some people who think theirselves
superior and all the time is dirty German spies betraying their country.
Does any one presume to say I'm not English?" she shouted, rising
unsteadily to her feet. "And if he does, where is he so as I can show
him he's a bloody liar by breaking his head open?"
Her companions made a pretense of restraining her, but it was plain that
they were enjoying the scene, and Maud continued to hold forth.
"German! And calls herself English. Goes round giving presents to honest
working-girls so as she can carry on her dirty work of spying. Goes
round trying to get a girl's boy away from her by low, dirty, mean
tricks as she's learnt from the bloody Germans who she belongs to. Yes,
it's you I'm talking to," she shrieked at Queenie.
White as paper, she sprang up from her seat and began to answer Maud,
notwithstanding Sylvia's efforts to silence her.
"You was being a bad wicked girl," she panted. "You dare to say I was
being German! I hate the Germans! I am English. I am English. You
dare to say I was being German!"
Upon this an Austrian girl at another table began to revile Queenie from
her point of view for abusing the Germans; before ten seconds had
passed the gardens were in an uproar.
A fat French Jewess stood on a table and shouted:
"Oh, les sales boches! Oh, les sales boches!"
Whereupon an Austrian girl pushed her from behind, and she crashed down
into a party of Francophile young Rumanians who instantly began to throw
everything within reach at a party of Germanophile young Rumanians.
Glasses were shivered; fairy lamps were pulled out of the trees and
hurtled through the air like Roman candles; somebody snatched a violin
from the orchestra and broke it on the head of his assailant; somebody
else climbed on the stage and made a speech in Rumanian, calling upon
the country to intervene on behalf of the Entente, until two pro-Germans
seized him and flung him down on top of the melancholy dotard who played
the double-bass; the manager and the waiters rushed into the street to
find the police; everybody argued with everybody else.
"Tu dis que je suis boche, moi? M—e pour toi!"
"La ferme! La ferme! Espionne! Type infecte!"
"Moi, je suis roumaine. Si tu dis que je suis hongroise, je dis que
t'es une salope. Tu m'entends?"
"Oh, la vache! Elle m'a piquée!"
"Elle a bien fait! Elle a bien fait!"
Some French girls began to sing:
"Les voyez-vous?
Les hussards! Les dragons! La gar-rrde!
Glorieux fous...."
and a very shrill little soprano who was probably a German, but declared
she was a Dane, sang:
"It's a larway to Tipperary,
It's a larway to go,
It's a larway to Tipperary,
It's a la-a-way to go!
Gooba, Piccadilli,
Farwa lar-sa sca-aa!
It's a lar-lar-way to Tipperary
Ba-ma-ha's ra-tha."
After which somebody hit her on the nose with a vanilla ice: then the
police came in and quieted the uproar by arresting several people on the
outskirts of the riot.
The next evening, when Sylvia and Queenie presented themselves for the
performance, the manager told them that they were dismissed: he could
not afford to let the Petit Trianon gain a disorderly reputation. Sylvia
was glad that the decision of taking a definite step had been settled
over her head. As they were passing out, they met Lottie looking very
happy.
"I've been engaged for three hundred francs to play the piano in the
orchestra. The accompanist broke his wrist last night in the row," she
told them. "So they sent for me in a hurry."
"We've been sacked," Sylvia said.
"Oh, I am sorry!" the fat girl exclaimed, trying to curb her own
pleasure. "What will you do?"
Sylvia shrugged her shoulders.
"Why don't you go to Galantza and Bralatz and Avereshti? You ought to be
able to get engagements there in the summer-time—especially at
Avereshti."
Sylvia nodded thoughtfully. "Yes, that's rather an idea. But, Lottie,
don't tell Zozo where we've gone. Good-by! Good luck! I'm glad you've
got an engagement."
"Yes, I shall leave that room now. It smells, rather, as the summer gets
on."
The next morning Sylvia and Queenie left Bucharest for Galantza.