Reuben did not go back to Cheat Land for several weeks. Those five
minutes had been too much for him. He would never again risk putting
himself in the power of things he did not understand. Besides, he felt
vaguely that after what had happened Alice would not want to see him.
She had humiliated herself, or rather he had humiliated her—for she had
put out in one swift dark minute all the powers of her nature to bind
him, and she had failed. He remembered her voice when she whispered,
"But not too late," and her eyes afterwards, smouldering in shadow, and
her little hands held out to him.... There had been nothing definite,
obvious, or masterful, yet in those few words and actions her whole self
had pleaded on its knees—and he had turned away.
But sometimes what kept him from her more than the thought of her
humiliation was the thought of his own. For sometimes it seemed almost
as if she had humbled him more than he had humbled her. He could not
tell whether this sick feeling of shame which occasionally swamped him
was due to the fact that he had so nearly surrendered to her or to the
fact that he had not quite done so. Sometimes he thought it was the
latter. The whole thing was ridiculous and perplexing, a lesson to him
not to adventure into subtleties but to keep in communion with the broad
plain things of earth.
Early in May he found a visit to Cheat Land forced upon him. Jury
wanted to buy a cow of his, but one of the sudden chills to which he was
liable kept him indoors. Reuben was anxious to sell the animal, and,
there being one or two weak points about her, would trust nobody but
himself with the negotiations. However, the visit would be quite safe,
for he was not likely to see Alice alone, indeed it was probable that he
might not see her at all.
On reaching the farm he heard several voices in the kitchen, and found
the invalid in an arm-chair by the fire, talking to an oldish man and a
rather plump pretty girl of about twenty. Jury was an intellectual,
incompetent-looking fellow, who seemed elderly, but at the same time
gave one the impression that this was due to his health. His grey hair
straggled over temples where the skin was stretched tight and yellow as
parchment, his cheeks were hollow, his eyes astonishingly like his
daughter's. He was one of the arguments against the marriage.
Alice had let Reuben in. She looked a little tired, but otherwise quite
cheerful, and she welcomed him simply and naturally.
"This is Miss Lardner," she said, introducing him to the girl, "and Mr.
Lardner of Starvecrow."
"I heard as how Starvecrow had been bought at last," said Reuben; "not a
bad farm, Muster, if you're fur green crops mostly."
"Potatoes," said Lardner, "potatoes—if farmers 'ud only grow potatoes
and not think so much of grain and rootses, we shudn't hear of so many
of 'em going bust."
The conversation became agricultural, but in spite of the interest such
a topic always had for him, Reuben could not help watching the two
girls. Miss Lardner, whom Alice called Rose, was a fine creature, so
different from the other as to make the contrast almost laughable. She
was tall and strapping—in later life she might become over stout, but
at present her figure was splendid, superbly moulded and erect. She
looked like a young goddess as she sat there, one leg crossed over the
other, showing her white stocking almost to the knee. There was
something arrogant in her attitude, as if she was aware of the splendour
of her body, and gloried in it. Her face too was beautiful—though less
classically so—rather broad, with high flat cheek-bones, and a wide
full-lipped mouth which would have given it almost a Creole look, if it
had not been for her short delicate nose and her fair ruddiness. Her
hair seemed to hesitate between gold and brown—her eyes between
boldness and languor.
Reuben found himself glancing at her continually, and though she seldom
met his eyes, he knew that she was aware of his scrutiny. He sometimes
felt that Alice was aware of it too.
As the conversation wore on, and became more general, Lardner said
something about going over to Snailham and taking Rose home on the way.
"Oh, no, Uncle—I don't want to go. Alice has asked me to stay to
supper."
"But you can't go home alone, and I can't wait wud you, surelye."
"I'll take Miss Lardner home," said Reuben.
Directly he had said the words, he looked over at Rose to see how she
would receive them. Her eyelashes lay black and curly against her cheek,
then they lifted slowly, and her eyes looked out from under the
half-raised lids with a kind of demure roguishness. At the same time her
lower lip seemed to quiver and plump out, while the corners of her mouth
rose and curled. He suddenly felt a desire to plant a kiss fairly on
that wet red mouth, which from away across the room seemed to pout
towards him.
Supper was a quiet meal. Old Jury and his invalid wife sat at each end
of the table, while Alice did most of the helping and waiting. They
seemed a sorry three to Reuben, pale, washed out, and weakly, their eyes
bright as birds' with the factitious light of their enthusiasms for
things that did not matter. They ate without much appetite, picking
daintily at their food, their knives never in their mouths. Reuben found
himself despising them as he despised the Bardons.
Rose did not talk much, but she ate heartily—she must be as healthy as
she looked. Once or twice during the meal Reuben caught himself staring
at her lips—they were extraordinarily red, and at the end of the meal
the juice of her pudding had stained them purple.
She said that she must leave directly after supper. Alice fetched her
hat, which was not the kind that Reuben had ever seen on country girls,
being of the fashionable pork-pie shape. All her clothes were obviously
town-made; she wore a blue stuff dress, tight-fitting round her bust and
shoulders, full and flounced in the skirt—afterwards he heard that Rose
had spent some years with relations in London before coming to live at
Starvecrow.
He gave her his arm, said good-bye to Alice in the doorway, and went
through the little garden where flowers crowded out vegetables in a very
unbusiness-like way, into the lane which wound past Cheat Land and round
the hanger of Boarzell, to the farms of the Brede Valley.
Rose, a little to his surprise, began to chatter volubly. She talked
very much like a child, with naïve comments, about simple things. She
asked trivial questions, and screamed with delight when some
dusk-blinded bird flew against her breast and dashed down heavily into
the ruts. She exclaimed at the crimson moon which rose behind the hedge
like a hot penny—she laughed at the slightest provocation; and yet all
the while he was conscious of an underlayer of shrewdness, he had an
extraordinary conviction of experience.
Besides, while she laughed and babbled like a child, her eyes
continually rose towards his with a woman's calculated boldness. They
spoke something quite different from her lips—the combination was
maddening; and those lips, too, in their rare silences, were so unlike
the words they uttered that he scarcely knew whether he wanted most to
silence them completely or never let them be silent.
"I don't like Alice Jury," she prattled, "she says just the opposite of
what you say. She never lets herself agree with anyone. She's a
contradictious female."
Then suddenly she was silent—and Reuben kissed her.
He crooked his arm round her and held her close to him, standing there
in the lane. Her lips slowly parted under his, then suddenly she threw
her head back in a kind of ecstasy, giving him the white expanse of her
neck, which he kissed, giddy with a soft fragrance that rose from her
clothes, reminding him a little of clover.
She was so obviously and naïvely delighted, that when he drew himself
up, his idea of her was again one of extreme childishness. And yet it
was evident that she was used to kisses, and that he had kissed her at
her own unspoken invitation.
They walked on down the lane. Rose's chatter had ceased, and a complete
silence dropped between the hedges. The moon had risen higher, and the
western hazels were bloomed with light. The moon was no longer crimson
in the dark sky, but had burnt down to copper, casting a copper glow
into the mists, staining all the blues that melted into one another
along the hills. Only the middle of the lane was black—like a well.
Reuben and Rose could see each other's faces in a kind of rusty
glimmer, but their feet stumbled in the darkness, and her hand lay
clutching and heavy on his arm.
At last they came to Castweasel—three old cottages and a ruined one,
leaning together in a hollow like mushrooms. Beside the ruined cottage a
tree-trunk was lying, and Rose suddenly stretched herself with a little
sigh.
"I'm tired—let's sit down and rest a bit."
They sat down on the log, and she immediately crept close to him like a
child. He put his arm round her, and once again she thrilled him with
her own delight—she stole her arms round his neck, holding his head in
the crook of her elbows, and laughed with her mouth against his. Then
her hands crept into his hair, and rumpled it, while she whispered like
a child finding some new virtue in its toy—"How thick! how thick!" At
last she drew his head down to her breast, holding it there with both
hands while she dipped her kisses on his eyes....
Reuben was in ecstasy by this time. It was years since he had caressed a
woman, except casually, for he considered that women interfered with his
work. Rose's eagerness could not cheapen her, for it was so childlike,
and she continued to give him that sense of deep experience which robbed
her attitude of insipidity. Her delight in his kisses was somehow made
sweeter to him by the conviction that she could compare them with other
men's.
She began to laugh—she became gay and mettlesome. Her whole nature
seemed changed, and he found it hard to think of her as the beautiful
yet rather lumpish girl who had sat in the silence of a good appetite at
the Cheat Land supper-table. Behind them the ruin of the old cottage
sent out bitter-sweet scents of decay—its crumbling plaster and rotting
lath perfumed the night. Fragrances strove in the air—the scent of
Rose's clothes, and of her big curls tumbling on his shoulder, the
scent of still water, of dew-drenched leaves, and damp, teeming
soil—sweet vagabond scents of bluebells, puffed on sudden breezes....
Reuben was growing drunken with it all—he strained Rose to him; she was
part of the night. Just as her scents mingled with its scents, so he and
she both mingled with the hush of the lightless, sorrowless fields, the
blots of trees, the woods that whispered voicelessly.... Above the
hedges, stars winked and flashed, dancing in the crystalline air. Right
overhead the Sign of Cancer jigged to its image in Castweasel Pool.
Reuben looked up, and through a gate he saw Boarzell rearing like a
shaggy beast towards him. He suddenly became more aware of Boarzell than
of anything in the night, than of the flowers or the water or the stars,
or even Rose, drowsing against his shoulder with parted lips. Boarzell
filled the night. The breeze became suddenly laden with scents of
it—the faint bitterness of its dew-drenched turf where the
bracken-crosiers were beginning to uncurl, of its noon-smelling gorse,
of its heather-tangle, half budding, half dead, of its fir-needles and
its fir-cones, rotting and sprouting. All seemed to blend together into
a strong, heady, ammoniacal smell ... the great beast of Boarzell
dominated the night, pawed Reuben, roared over him, made him suddenly
mad, clutching Rose till she cried out with pain, kissing her till she
broke free, and stood before him pale and dishevelled, with anger in her
eyes.
He sprang to his feet, the mood had passed—the beast of Boarzell had
ceased to worry him.
"I'm sorry," he said sheepishly.
"And well you may be," said Rose, "you've torn my gown."
They walked on down the lane; she pouted and swung her hat. Reuben,
anxious to propitiate, picked primroses under the hedge and gave them to
her.
She looked pleased at once, and began to eat them.
"Wot," said Reuben, "you eat flowers?"
"Yes," she answered, "I love eating primroses—pick me some more."
So for the rest of the walk to Starvecrow, he picked primroses, and she
nibbled them with her white teeth, which were small and even, except for
the two canines, which were pointed like a little animal's.
During the next day or two Reuben thought a great deal about Rose
Lardner. He made covert enquiries about her in the neighbourhood. He
found out that she was an orphan and old Lardner's only surviving
relative. He was an extremely prosperous man, and at his death Rose
would have all his money. Moreover, rumour gave him a cancer which would
carry him off before very long.
Reuben turned over these facts in his mind. He realised what a fine
thing it would be for Odiam if he married Rose. Here was the very wife
he wanted—of good standing in the neighbourhood, and something of an
heiress, young and healthy, and likely to give him stout boys, and also
exceedingly attractive in herself.
Under the circumstances he hardly knew what held him back, what made the
whole idea vaguely repugnant to him. Surely it could not be his feeling
for Alice Jury. The terrible thought suggested itself that his love for
Alice would survive all the outward signs of its demolition, that though
beaten and killed and destroyed it would haunt him disembodied. That was
the secret of its power—its utter lack of corporiety, its independence
of the material things a strong man could bend to his will, so that, as
it were, one could never lay hands on it, but chased it for ever like a
ghost.
Nevertheless, he called at Starvecrow and renewed his impressions of
Rose. They did not want much adjustment; he found her as he had found
her that first evening—childlike in all things save love, indolent,
languorous, and yet with gay bursts of spirit which made her charming.
He noticed too how well dressed she was—he admired her stuff gown and
neat buttoned boots, so different from what he was accustomed to see on
the feet of his womenfolk; he admired the crinkle and gloss of her hair,
so beautifully waved and brushed, and scented with some lotion—her
hands, too, well kept and white with shining pink nails, her trim muslin
collar, the clover scent of her garments ... it was all new, and gave
him somehow a vague feeling of self-respect.
When they were alone she was as eager as ever for his love. He had a
precious ten minutes with her in the parlour at Starvecrow, at the end
of which in came old Lardner, with talk of crops and beasts. Reuben
considered that he had some knowledge of farming—which was a long way
for him to go—and took him into confidence about some of Odiam's
affairs. The farm was still causing him anxiety, and he felt in need of
ready money. He wanted to establish a milk round, with a dairy shop in
Rye, but he could not spare the capital.
That visit was the first of several others. Starvecrow took the place of
Cheat Land—indeed, he seldom went near Cheat Land now. Rose gave him
all the refuge he wanted from the vexings and thwartings of his daily
life. She was not, like Alice, a counter-irritant, but a sweet drowse of
tenderness and beauty in which he forgot his disappointment, thinking of
nothing but the lovely woman he caressed.
She gave him sympathy, too, in a childlike way. She did not like it if
he interrupted his love-making to tell her about his plans for Boarzell,
but at other moments she seemed to enjoy hearing him talk of his
ambition; and often, when the jar and failure of things depressed him,
she would take him in her arms, and soothe him like a baby with—"Of
course you'll have Boarzell, my Reuben; of course it will be
yours—you're so strong and masterful, you're bound to get all you
want."
Her delight in him never seemed to fail. Sometimes it seemed to him
strange that the difference in their ages did not affect her more. She
never gave him a hint that she thought him too old for her. He once told
her that he was nearly fifty, but she had answered with a happy laugh
that she did not like boys.
As a matter of fact, Reuben at fifty was a lover of whom any girl might
still be proud. If a little grey had come into his hair, it had merely
been to give it the gleam of polished iron, and contrast it more
effectively with the swarthiness of his skin. His teeth were as white
and even as when he was twenty, for he had never risked spoiling them by
too much tobacco—his eyes, dark and bright, were like a boy's; his
broad back was straight, and his powerful arms could lift even the plump
Rose to his shoulder. He once carried her on his shoulder all the way
from Tide Barn to the beginning of Starvecrow lane.
Towards the end of August, Reuben asked Rose to marry him.
The request was not so much the outcome of passion as might have been
imagined from the form it took. It was true that he was deeply enamoured
of her, but it was also true that for three months he had endured the
intoxication of her presence without definitely, or even indefinitely,
claiming her for his own. He had held himself back till he had
thoroughly weighed and pondered her in relation to his schemes—he was
not going to renounce Alice for a wife who would be herself a drawback
in another way.
However, though he had never deceived himself that Rose's sympathetic
tendernesses meant any real sharing of his ambition, he was soon
convinced that to marry her would be materially to help himself in the
battle which was now dragging a little on his side. He wanted ready
money—her settlements would provide that; and her heirship of Lardner
held out dazzling hopes for the future. He wanted children—where could
he find a healthier mother? He wanted to raise the dignity of Odiam, and
could hardly have thought of a better means than marriage with the niece
of one of the wealthiest and most important farmers in the parish. To
crown all, he gave himself an adorable woman, young, lovely, tender, and
gay. This consideration could not have dragged him contrary to his
ambition, but combined with it, it could give to an otherwise very
practical and material plan all the heats of passion and the glories of
romance.
The only disappointment was Rose's reception of his offer. At first she
was unaffectedly surprised. She had looked upon the whole affair as a
flirtation, of which she had had several, and had never expected it to
take such a serious turn.
Even when she had recovered from her surprise, she refused to give him
an answer. He became suddenly alarmed lest she thought him too old, and
pressing her for her reasons, found that the real matter was that she
did not want to sacrifice her freedom.
"Wot do you mean, sweetheart? Döan't you love me?"
"Of course I love you—but it doesn't follow I want to belong to you.
Can't we go on as we are?"
"You queer me, Rose. How can we go on as we are?—it's like walking on a
road that never leads nowhere."
"Well, that's very nice—I don't always want to go somewhere every time
I take a walk, I much prefer just wandering."
"I döan't."
"Because you're so practical and business-like, and I'm afraid you'd try
and make me practical and business-like too. That's why I said I wanted
to be free."
"You shall be free, Rose—I promise you. You shall do wotsumdever you
please."
"Absolutely 'wotsumdever'?"
"Yes—wudin reason, of course."
"Ah, that's it. Your reason mightn't be my reason."
"You wudn't find me unreasonable, dear."
"Well, I shall have to think it over."
She thought it over for two months, during which Reuben suffered all the
torments of his lot. She soon came to realise and appreciate her powers;
she dangled hopes and fears with equal zest before his eyes, she used
his anxieties to stoke the furnaces of his passion, till she had
betrayed him into blazes and explosions which he looked on afterwards
with uneasy shame.
Once in sick amazement at himself he took refuge at Cheat Land, and sat
for an hour in Alice Jury's kitchen, watching her sew. But the springs
of his confidence were dried, he could not tell Alice what he felt about
Rose. She knew, of course. All the neighbourhood knew he was in love
with Rose Lardner, and watched the progress of his courtship with covert
smiles.
Rose used often to come to Odiam, where she was at first rather shy of
Reuben's children, all of whom were older than herself. In time,
however, she outgrew her shyness, and became of an exceedingly mad and
romping disposition. She ran about the house like a wild thing, she
dropped blackberries into Caro's cream, she tickled Pete's neck with
wisps of hay, she danced in the yard with Jemmy. Reuben grew
desperate—he felt the hopelessness of capturing this baby who played
games with his children; and yet Rose was in some ways so much older
than they—she loved to say risky things in front of the innocent Caro,
and howled with laughter when she could not understand—she loved to
prod and baffle the two boys, who in this respect were nearly as
inexperienced as their sister. Then, on the walk home with Reuben, over
Boarzell, she would retail these feats of hers with gusto, she would
invite his kisses, sting up his passion—she tormented him with her
extraordinary combinations of childishness and experience, shyness and
abandonment, innocence and corruption.
In time the state of his own mind reduced Reuben to silence about his
longings. He somehow lost the power of picturing himself married to this
turbulent, bewildering creature, half-woman, half-child. He clung to her
in silent kisses; leading her home over Boarzell, he would suddenly turn
and smother her in his arms, while his breast heaved with griefs and
sighings he had not known in the earlier weeks of his courtship.
Rose noticed this difference, and it piqued her. She began to miss his
continual protestations. Sometimes she tried to stir them up again, but
her bafflings had reacted on herself; she handled him clumsily, he was
too mazed to respond to her flicks. Then she became sulky, irritable,
slightly tyrannous—even stinting her kisses.
One night early in October he was taking her home. They had crossed
Boarzell, and were walking through the lanes that tangle the valley
north of Udimore. She walked with her arm conventionally resting on his,
her profile demure in the starlight. He felt tired, not in his body, but
in his mind—somehow life seemed very aimless and gloomy; he despised
himself because he craved for her arms, for her light thoughtless
sympathy.
"Why döan't you speak to me, Rose?"
"I was thinking."
"Wot about?"
"Oh, clothes and things."
He stopped suddenly in their walk, as he had often done, and seized her
in his arms, swinging her off her feet, burying his face in her wraps to
kiss her neck. She kicked and fought him like a wild cat, and at last he
dropped her.
"Why wöan't you let me kiss you?"
"Because I won't."
She walked quickly, almost running, and he had to stride to keep up with
her.
"You're justabout cruel," he said furiously.
"And so are you."
"Wot have I done?"
"You've changed your mind about wanting to marry me."
He stared at her with his mouth open.
"Rose...."
"Well, don't gape at me. You know you have."
"I justabout haven't. It's you——"
"It isn't me. I only asked for a little time to think it over, and then
you go and cool off."
"I—cool off! My dear, I dudn't ever. I never understood—you're such a
tedious liddle wild thing."
"Well, do you want to marry me?"
"Rose!"
"And you'll let me do as I like?"
"Rose, marry me."
"Very well—I will. But it's funny I should want to."
Then suddenly her expression changed. Her eyes half closed, her lips
parted, and she held out her arms to him with a laugh like a sob.
Reuben and Rose were married in the January of '70. It was the earliest
date compatible with the stocking of her wardrobe, a business which
immediately absorbed her to the exclusion of everything else.
Meantime Reuben, having repapered the parlour and given a new coat of
whitewash to the best bedroom ceiling, discussed settlements with old
Lardner. These did not turn out as large as he had hoped—the old man
was close, and attempts on his generosity only resulted in embarrassing
doubts as to the disinterestedness of his son-in-law's affections.
Reuben comforted himself with the thought that Lardner most certainly
had a cancer.
At the wedding Rose fairly dazed the onlookers. She wore a dress of
heavy white satin, with a white lace veil—and a bustle. It was the
first bustle that had ever been seen in Peasmarsh, or even in Rye. In
itself it was devastating enough, but it soon acquired a prophetic and
metaphorical significance which made it even more impressive. Spectators
saw in it the forecast of Odiam's downfall—"He can't stand that," said
Brazier, the new man at Totease, "she's a Jezebubble."—"Only it äun't
her head as she's tired this time," said Ticehurst.—"She shud have worn
it in front of her, and then we shud have bin interested," said Cooper
of Kitchenhour.
Alice Jury and her father were in church. Reuben saw them as he marched
up the aisle with an enormous flower in his buttonhole, accompanied by
Ginner of Socknersh as his best man. It struck him that she looked more
pretty and animated than usual, in a woolly red dress and a little fur
cap under which her eyes were bright as a robin's. Even then he felt a
little offended and perplexed by her behaviour—she should have
drooped—it would have been more becoming if she had drooped.
The remnants of his family were in a front pew—Pete with an elaborately
curled forelock, Jemmy casting the scent of cheap hair oil into the
prevalent miasma of camphor and moth-killer, and between the two boys,
Caro in an unbecoming hat which she wore at a wrong angle, while her
dark restless eyes devoured Rose's creamy smartness, from her satin
shoes to the wave of curling-irons in her hair. Harry had been left at
home—he was in an impossible mood, tormented by some dark current of
memory, wandering from room to room as he muttered—"Another
wedding—another wedding—we're always having weddings in this house."
After the ceremony nearly a hundred guests were fed at Starvecrow. All
the most important farmers of the neighbourhood were there, except of
course Realf of Grandturzel. Rose was like her name-flower, flushed and
scented. Very different from his earlier bride, she sat beside Reuben
with head erect and smiling lips—she drank with everyone, and the wine
deepened the colour of her cheeks and made her eyes like stars. She
talked, she laughed, she ate, she was so happy that her glances, full of
bold languor, swept round the table, resting on all present as well as
the chosen man—she was a gay wife.
Dancing at weddings was dying out as a local fashion, so when the
breakfast was over the guests melted away, having eaten and drunk
themselves into a desire for sleep. Reuben's family went home. He and
Rose lingered a little with her uncle, then as the January night came
crisping into the sky and fields, he drove her to Odiam in his gig, as
long ago he had driven Naomi. She leaned against his shoulder, for he
wanted both hands for his horse, and her hair tickled his neck. She was
silent for about the first time that day, and as eager for the kisses he
could give her while he drove as Naomi had been shy of them. Above in
the cold black sky a hundred pricks of fire shuddered like sparks—the
lump of Boarzell was blocked against a powder of stars.
At Odiam Rose shook off her seriousness. Supper was ready, and undaunted
by the huge meal she had already eaten, she sat down to it with a hearty
appetite. Her step-children stared at her curiously—Rose had a gust of
affection for them. Poor things!—their lives had been so crude and dull
and innocent. She must give them a little brightness now, soften the
yoke of Reuben's tyranny—that girl Caro, for instance, she must give
her some pretty clothes and show her how to arrange her hair becomingly.
Supper was a very gay meal—the gayest there had ever been at Odiam.
Rose laughed and talked, as at Starvecrow, and soon her husband and the
boys were laughing with her. Some of the things she said were rather
daring, and Caro had only a dim idea of what she meant, but Rose's eyes
rolling mischievously under the long lashes, and the tip of her tongue
showing between her lips, gave her words a devilish bite even if only
half understood. Somehow the whole atmosphere of the Odiam kitchen was
changed—it was like the lifting of a curtain, the glimpsing of a life
where all was gay, where love and ambition and all solemn things were
the stuff of laughter.
The boys beat the handles of their knives on the table and rolled in
their chairs with wide-open mouths as if they would burst; Reuben leaned
back with a great pride and softening in his eyes, round which many hard
lines had traced themselves of late; Caro's lips were parted and she
seemed half enchanted, half bewildered by the other woman's careless
merriment. Only Harry took no interest and looked dissatisfied—"Another
wedding," he mumbled as he dribbled his food unnoticed over the
cloth—"we're always having weddings in this house."
It was strange that during this gay meal the strongest link was forged
between Rose and Caro. Two natures more utterly unlike it would be hard
to find—Caro's starved ignorance of love and aged familiarity with
dustier matters made her the antithesis of Rose, a child in all things
save those of the affections; but the two women's hearts met in their
laughter. It was Rose who invited, Caro who responded, for Rose in spite
of her years and inexperience had the one advantage which made her the
older of the two. She was drawn to Caro partly from essential kindness,
partly because she appreciated the luxury of pitying her—Caro
responded with all the shy devotion of a warped nature going out towards
one who enjoys that for which it unconsciously pines. Rose's beauty,
jollity, and happiness made her a goddess to the less fortunate girl.
After supper Rose turned towards her.
"Will you come up and help me unpack?"
Caro flushed with pleasure—a light had kindled in her grey life, and
she found herself looking forward to days of basking.
They went up together to the huge low-raftered bedroom, which struck
horribly cold.
"Ugh!" said Rose—"no fire!"
"But it's a bedroom."
"That's no reason for not having a fire. I shall freeze. Let's have the
servant up to light one."
"Oh, no. I'll light it; Mary's busy clearing the table. But I reckon as
fäather wöan't be pleased."
"I'll make him pleased. You leave father to me for the future."
Caro fetched some wood and turf and laid the fire, to which Rose applied
a match, feeling that by this she had done her share of the work. Then
they began to unpack. There were two trunks full of clothes, and Rose
complicated matters by refusing to take things out as they came but
diving after various articles she particularly wanted.
"I want my blue negleegy—I must show you my blue negleegy," she panted,
up to her elbows in underlinen.
"Oh, here it is! what do you think of it?"
"It's silk!" said Caro in a hoarse whisper.
"Of course it is—and the very best silk too. I'll put it on. Please
undo my dress."
Caro helped her off with her wedding-dress, and after having recovered
her breath, which she lost completely at the sight of the lace on her
chemise, she helped her arrange the "negleegy," and watched her
open-mouthed as she posed in it before the fragment of looking-glass.
"Isn't it chick?" said Rose, "I got it in Hastings—they say it is
copied from a Paris model. Now let's go on with the unpacking."
They went on—that is to say Rose leaned back in her chair and directed
Caro as she took the things out of the trunks. The girl was fairly
bewildered by what she saw—the laced chemises, the flounced petticoats,
the dainty nightgowns with transparent necks. "But you'll show through,"
she said in tones of horror as she displayed one of these, and could not
understand why Rose rolled in her chair with laughter.
There were little pots of cream and bottles of hair-lotion, there were
ebony-backed brushes, patent leather shoes, kid gloves, all sorts of
marvels which Caro had seen nowhere but in shops. As she unpacked she
felt a kind of soreness in her heart. Why should Rose have all these
beautiful things, these laces, these perfumes, these silks and ribbons,
while Caro wore nothing but stuff and calico or smelt of anything
sweeter than milk? As she glanced at Rose, leaning back in the most
comfortable chair to be found in that uncomfortable room—the firelight
dancing on the silken ripples of her gown, her neck and arms gleaming
through clouds of lace—the soreness woke into a pain. Rose had
something more even than silks and laces. She had love. It was love that
made her hold her chin so proudly, it was love that made her cheeks
flush and her eyes glow. And no one had ever loved Caro—she had never
heard a man's voice in tenderness, or felt even so much as a man's hand
fondle hers....
"Caro, would you mind brushing my hair?"
Rose was taking out the pins, and curls and tendrils of hair began to
fall on her shoulders. Caro took the brush, and swept it over the soft
mass, gleaming like spun glass. A subtle perfume rose from it, the rub
of it on her hand was like silk. Rose's eyes closed as the brush
stroked her, and her lips parted slowly into a smile.
Then suddenly, without warning, all this love and happiness and
possession became too much for Caro—she dropped the brush and the
scented hair, and burst into passionate tears.
Reuben at once laid out his wife's money to the best advantage. He
bought twenty cows, good milkers, and started a dairy business in Rye. A
shop was opened near the Landgate, which sold milk, butter, cream, and
eggs from Odiam. He also tried to establish a milk-round in Rye, sending
circulars to inns and private houses. He engaged a young woman to serve
in the shop, and boys to drive his milk-carts. This meant a big
expenditure, and almost all Rose's money was swallowed up by it.
Reuben was surprised at Lardner's attitude. The old man refused to look
upon this spending of his niece's dowry as an excellent investment,
which would soon bring in returns a hundredfold—he would have preferred
to see her money lying safe and useless in Lewes Old Bank, and accused
Backfield of greed and recklessness. Reuben in his turn was disgusted
with Lardner's parsimony, and would have quarrelled with him had he not
been afraid of an estrangement. The farmer of Starvecrow could not speak
without all sorts of dreadful roars and clearings in his throat, and
Reuben hopefully observed the progress of the cancer.
Rose herself did not much care how her money was spent as long as she
had the things she wanted. First of these at present was Reuben's love,
and that she had in plenty. She was a perpetual source of delight to
him; her beauty, her astounding mixture of fire and innocence, her good
humour, and her gaiety were even more intoxicating than before marriage.
He felt that he had found the ideal wife. As a woman she was perfect,
so perfect that in her arms he could forget her short comings as a
comrade. After all, what did it matter if she failed to plumb the depths
of his desire for things outside herself, as long as she herself was an
undying source of enchantment?—smoothing away the wrinkles of his day
with her caresses, giving him love where she could not give him
understanding, her heart where she could not give her brain. During the
hours of work and fret he would long for her, for the quiet warm
evenings, and the comfort which the wordless contact of her brought. She
made him forget his heaviness, and gather strength to meet his
difficulties, giving him draughts of refreshment for to-morrow's journey
in the desert.
His times were still anxious. Even if the milk-round turned out a
success, it was bound to be a loss to him during the first year. A
multiplication of servants also meant for a man like Reuben a
multiplication of trials. He would have liked to do all the work
himself, and could trust no one to do it properly for him. His
underlings, with their detached attitude towards the farm, were a
perpetual source of anxiety and contempt. His heart sickened for those
stalwart sons he had dreamed of in the days of his first marriage—a
dream which mocked him daily with its pitiful materialisation in the
shred of family that still worked for Odiam. Reuben longed for Rose to
have a child, but the months passed, and she had no favourable answer to
his repeated questionings, which struck her at first as amusing, later
as irritating, and at last—at the suggestion of one or two female
friends—as indelicate.
She herself had no wish for motherhood, and expressed this so openly
that in time Reuben began to entertain dark doubts of her, and to feel
that she would avoid it if she could. Yet she in herself was so utterly
sweet that he could not find it in his heart to be angry, or use
anything but tender remonstrance when she vexed him with her attitude
towards life in general and marriage in particular.
She gulped at pleasure, and she gave him so much that he could not deny
her what she craved for, though the mere decorativeness of her tastes
amazed and sometimes appalled him. She coaxed him to buy her new
curtains and chair-covers for the parlour, and to turn it into a room
which could be used, where she could lounge in her pretty frocks, and
entertain her women-friends—of whom she had a startling number—to
afternoon tea, with cream, and little cakes that cost an amount of money
altogether disproportionate to the space that they filled in one's
inside. She demanded other entertainments too—visits to Rye, and even
to Hastings, and jaunts to fairs other than the sanctioned one on
Boarzell.
Reuben was delighted with her fashionable clothes, the dainty things
with which she managed to surround herself, her fastidious care for her
person, her pomadings, her soapings, her scentings—but he sometimes had
vague doubts of this beautiful, extravagant, irresponsible creature. He
was like a man stirring in a happy dream, realising in the midst of it
that he dreams, and must some day awake.
The year '71 was on the whole a bad one. The summer was parched, the
autumn sodden, and the winter frozen. Reuben's oats after some excellent
promises failed him abruptly, as was the way with crops on Boarzell. His
wheat was better in quality but poor in quantity, his mangolds had the
rot, and his hops, except for the old field by the lane, were brown and
ragged with blight.
This would have been bad enough in any year, but in times when he bore
the burden of his yet profitless milk-round it was only a little short
of catastrophe. Making every allowance for a first year, that milk-round
had disappointed him. He found private custom hard to win, and even the
ceasing of French dairy supplies, owing to the Franco-Prussian war, did
not bring him the relief he had hoped. One or two small farms on the
borders of Rye catered in dairy stuff for its inhabitants, and he found
them hard to outbid or outwit. Also, owing to the scarcity of grass
feed, it was a bad milk year, and poor supplies were put down by
consumers to the new milkman, and in more than one case custom was
withdrawn.
Reuben faced his adversity with set teeth and a dogged countenance. He
had not been farming thirty odd years to be beaten casually by the
weather. Scorching heat and blighting cold, the still blanker doom of
the trickling, pouring rain—the wind that seeded his corn, and beat
down his hay, and flung his hop-bines together in muddled heaps—the
pests that Nature breeds by the ten million out of her own putrefyings
and misbegettings—all things in life from the lowest maggot to the
fiercest storm—he was out to fight them. In challenging Boarzell he had
challenged them all.
In time his struggle began to modify his relations with Rose. At first
he had told himself that her uselessness was only apparent. Though she
herself did no fighting, she gave such rest and refreshment to the
soldier that he went forth strengthened to the war. He had almost begun
to attribute to her his daily renewed courage, and had once or twice
been moved to show his gratitude by acts of expensive indulgence.
Now slowly he began to see that this gratitude was misleading—better
receive no comfort from Rose than pay for it too dear. He must make her
understand that he could not afford to keep a useless and extravagant
wife, however charming she might be. Rose must do her share, as Naomi
had done, as his mother had done, as his children had done.
Sometimes he would expostulate with her, and when she met his
expostulations with blandishments, he would feel himself yielding, and
grow so furious that he would turn upon her in rage and indignation.
Rose was not like Naomi; in her own words "she gave as good as she got,"
and once or twice, for the first time in his life, Reuben found himself
in loud and vulgar altercation with a female. He had never before had a
woman stand up to him, and the experience was humiliating.
He had used to turn from Boarzell to her for rest, and now he found
himself turning from her to Boarzell. It was part of the baffling
paradox that the thing he fought should also be the thing he loved, and
the battlefield his refuge. Out on the Moor, with the south-west wind
rolling over him like the waves of some huge earth-scented sea, he drank
in the spirit of conflict, he was swept back into the cleanness and
singleness of his warfare. It was then that Boarzell nerved him for its
own subduing, stripped his heart of softness, cleansed it of domestic
fret. Rose and her love and sweetness were all very well, but he was out
for something greater than Rose—he must keep in mind that she was only
a part of things. Why, he himself was only a part of things, and in his
cravings and softenings must be conquered and brushed aside even as
Rose. In challenging Boarzell he had challenged the secret forces of his
own body, all the riot of hope and weakness and desire that go to make a
man. The battle was not to be won except over the heaped bodies of the
slain, and on the summit of the heap would lie his own.
The last piece of land had been exceptionally tough even for Boarzell.
It was a high strip, running right across the Moor from the edge of the
twenty-acre piece acquired in '67, over the high-road, to the borders of
Doozes. The soil was amazingly various—it started in the low grounds
almost as clay, with runnels of red water in the irrigation ditches,
then passing through a stratum of marl it became limish, grey and
brittle, powdering under the spade. Reuben's ploughs tore over it,
turning up earth of almost every consistency and colour, till the new
ground looked like a smeared palette. Towards Doozes it became clay
again, and here oats would grow, sedge-leaved and tulip-rooted, with
puffy awns. On the crest was rubble, poor stuff where even the heather
seemed to fight for existence.
Reuben struggled untiringly—he tried manure as in his first
enterprising days, and a horrible stink of guano told traffic on the
road it was passing through Odiam territory. Spades and ploughshares and
harrows scored and pulped the earth. Sometimes with breaking back and
aching head, the sweat streaming over his skin, he would lift himself
stiffly from the plough-handles, and shake his fist at the desert round
him. He had never had such a tussle before, and put it down to the fact
that he was now for the first time on the high ground, on the hard and
sterile scab of the marl, where it seemed as if only gorse would grow.
He felt as if now for the first time he was fighting against odds, his
earlier struggles were tame compared with this.
Often in the evenings, when the exhausting work of the day was done, he
would wander out on the Moor, seeking as usual rest on the field of his
labours. The tuft of firs would grow black and featureless against the
dimming sky, and stars would hang pale lamps above the fog, which smoked
round Boarzell, veiling the fields, till it seemed as if he stood alone
on some desert island, in the midst of a shoreless sea. All sounds would
be muffled, lights and shadows would blur, and he would be alone with
the fir-clump and the stars and the strong smells of his land.
He would wait there till the dew hung in pearls on his clothes and hair,
and the damp chills of the night were in his bones. Then he would creep
down from the Moor, and go back into the warmth and love of the
house—yet with this difference now, that he never quite forgot.
He would wake during the night after cruel dreams of Boarzell stripped
of its tilth, relapsed into wildness; for a few agonised moments he
would wonder if the dream were true, and if he had not indeed failed.
Sometimes he had to get out of bed and steal to the window, to reassure
himself with the sight of his diggings and fencings. Then a horrible
thought would attack him, that though he had not yet actually failed, he
was bound to fail soon, that his task was too much for him, and only one
end possible. He would creep back into bed, and lie awake till dawn and
the restarting of the wheel.
One comfort was that these evil summers had blighted Grandturzel too.
Realf's fruit and grain had both done badly, and he had been unfortunate
with his cows, two of which had died of garget. It was now that the
characters of the two rivals were contrasted. Realf submitted at once to
adversity, cut down his expenses, and practically withdrew from the
fight. Ambitious and enterprising when times were good, he was not the
man to be still ambitious and enterprising when they were bad. The
greatness of his farm was not so much to him as the comfort of his
family. He now had a little son, and was anxious that neither he nor
Tilly should suffer from bad speculations. He despised Reuben for
putting Odiam before his wife and children, and defying adversity at the
expense of his household.
"He'll do fur himself," he said to Tilly, as he watched her bath the
baby before the fire, "and where'll his old farm be then?"
"He's more likely to do fur someone else," said Tilly, who knew her
father.
"Wot about this gal he's married?"
"I'm sorry fur her."
"But she döan't look as if she wanted it, surelye. I never see anything
so smart and well-set-up as she wur in church last Sunday."
"Still, I'm sorry fur her—I'm sorry fur any woman as he takes up with.
Now, Henry, you can't kiss baby while I'm bathing him."
It sometimes grieved Tilly that she could not do more for her brothers
and sister. Pete did not want her help, being quite happy in his work on
the farm. But Jemmy and Caro hated their bondage, and she wished she
could set them free. Reuben had sternly forbidden his children to have
anything to do with the recreant sister, but they occasionally met on
the road, or on the footpath across Boarzell. Once Caro had stolen a
visit to Grandturzel, and held the baby in her arms, and watched her
sister put him to bed; but she was far too frightened of Reuben to come
again.
On Reuben's marriage Tilly had hoped that Rose might do something for
Caro, and indeed the girl had lately seemed to have a few more treats
and pleasures in her life; but from what she had heard and from what she
saw, the younger sister was afraid that Rose's good offices were not
likely to make for Caro's ultimate happiness. Then comfortable little
Tilly would sigh in the midst of her own, and wish that everyone could
have what she had been given.
Benjamin occasionally stole afternoons in Rye—if he was discovered
there would be furious scenes with Reuben, but he had learned cunning,
and also, being of a sporting nature, was willing to take risks. Some
friends of his were building a ship down at the Camber. Week by week he
watched her grow, watched the good timber fill in her ribs, watched her
decks spread themselves, watched her masts rise, and at last smelt the
good smell of her tarring. She was a three-masted schooner, and her
first voyage was to be to the Canaries. Her builders drank many a toast
with Backfield's truant son, who gladly risked his father's blows to be
with them in their work and hearty boozing. He forgot the farmyard
smells he hated in the shipyard smells he loved, and his slavery in
oaths and rum—with buckets of tar and coils of rope, and rousing
chanties and stories of strange ships.
Next spring the news came to Odiam that Benjamin had run away to sea.
It was Rose who had to tell Reuben.
Benjamin had given no one the faintest hint of his plans; indeed for the
last two or three weeks his behaviour had been unusually good. Then one
morning, when Reuben was at Robertsbridge market, he
disappeared—Handshut could not find him to take his place in the
lambing shed. Rose was angry, for she had wanted young Handshut to hang
some curtains for her—one cause of disagreement between her and Reuben
was her habit of coaxing the farm-hands to do odd jobs about the house.
That same evening, before her husband was back, a letter came for Rose.
It was from Benjamin at Rye, announcing that he was sailing that night
in the Rother Lady for Las Palmas. He was sick of the farm, and could
not stand it any longer. Would Rose tell his father?
Rose was not sorry to see the last of Benjamin, whom she had always
despised as a coarse lumpkinish youth, whose clothes smelt strongly
either of pitch or manure. But she dreaded breaking the news to Reuben.
She disliked her husband's rages, and now she would have to let one
loose. Then suddenly she thought of something, and a little smile
dimpled the corners of her mouth.
Reuben came in tired after a day's prodding and bargaining in
Robertsbridge market-place. Rose, like a wise woman, gave him his
supper, and then, still wise, came and sat on his knee.
"Ben ..."
"Well, liddle Rose."
"I've some bad news for you."
"Wot?"
"Jemmy's gone for a sailor."
He suddenly thrust her from him, and the lines which had begun to soften
on his face as he held her, reappeared in their old harshness and
weariness.
"Gone!"
"Yes. I had a letter from him this evening. He couldn't stand Odiam any
longer, so he ran away. He's sailed for a place called Palma."
Reuben did not speak. His hands were clenched on the arms of his chair,
and for the first time Rose noticed that he looked old. A faint feeling
of disgust came over her. She shivered, and took a step backwards as if
she would leave him. Then her warm good nature and her gratitude to the
man who had made her so happy, drove away the unnatural mood. She came
close, and slipped her soft arms round his neck, pressing her lips to
his.
He groaned.
"You mustn't fret, Reuben."
"How can I help it?—they're all gone now save one ... my boys...."
"Perhaps there'll be others."
She had slid back to his knee, and the weight and warmth of her
comforted him a little. He lifted his head quickly at her words.
"Others?"
"Yes, why not?"
Her bold sweet eyes were looking into his and her mouth was curved like
a heart.
"Rose, Rose—my dear, my liddle dear—you döan't mean——"
"Of course I mean. You needn't look so surprised. Such a thing has been
known to happen."
"Döan't go laughing at me, but tell me—when?"
"In October."
"Oh, God! oh, God!"
His rapture and excitement alarmed her. His eyes blazed—he threw back
his head and laughed in ecstasy. Then he seized her, and crumpled her to
him, covering her face, her neck, her hair, her ears, with kisses,
murmuring broken phrases of adoration and gratitude.
Rose was definitely frightened, and broke free with some violence.
"Oh, stop it, Ben! can't you see you're spoiling my dress? Why should
you get in such a taking? You've had children before, and they've all
been failures—I expect this one will only be like the rest."
Rose's child was born towards the end of October. Once more Reuben had a
son, and as he looked down on the little red hairless thing all his
hopes and dreams were built anew. He had always lived too near the earth
to let experience thump him into cynicism. He raised as glorious dreams
over this baby as he had raised over the others, and seen crumble into
ashes. Indeed, the fact that his earlier hopes had failed made him warm
himself more gratefully at this rekindling. He saw himself at last
raised out of the pit of difficulty—he would not lose this boy as he
had lost the others, he would perhaps be softer and more indulgent, he
would at all events be wiser, and the child should indeed be a son to
him and to Odiam. "Unto Us—Reuben and Odiam—a child is born; unto Us a
son is given."
He was soon confirmed in his idea that the birth had brought him luck.
Before little David was a week old, the welcome news came that Lardner
had died. For some time he had been able to swallow only milk food, and
his speech had been reduced to a confused roaring, but his death at this
juncture seemed to Reuben a happy coincidence, an omen of good fortune
for himself and his son.
He was so pleased that he forgot to veil his pleasure before Rose, whose
grief reminded him of the fact that Lardner was a near and dear
relation, whose death must be looked upon as a chastisement from heaven.
In a fit of compunction for his behaviour, he ordered a complete suit of
mourning, in which he attended the funeral. He was soft and benign to
all men now, and soothed Rose's ruffled spirit by showing himself to her
in all the glory of a top-hat with crape weepers before setting out for
Starvecrow.
He himself had helped plan the obsequies, which were carried out with
all possible pomp by a Rye undertaker. After the ceremony there was a
funeral meal at Starvecrow, where sedate joints and solemn whiskies were
partaken of in the right spirit by the dozen or so men and women who
were privileged to hear old Lardner's will. This was read by the
deceased's lawyer, and one or two pleased malicious glances were darted
at Reuben from under decorously lowered lids. He sat with his fists
doubled upon his knees, hearing as if in a nightmare:
"I bequeath the farm of Starvecrow, with all lands, stock, and
tools pertaining thereto, also the house and fixtures, together
with seven thousand pounds to Henry Robert Crick of Lone Mills,
Ontario, Canada, my dear son by Marion Crick.... My household
furniture and fifty pounds free of legacy duty I bequeath to my
niece, Rose Backfield, wife of Reuben Backfield of Odiam."
Reuben felt dazed and sick, the solemn faces of the mourners seemed to
leer at him, he was seized by a contemptuous hatred of his kind. There
was some confused buzzing talk, but he did not join in it. He shook
hands deliriously with the lawyer, muttered something about having to
get back, and elbowed his way out of the room. Pete had driven over to
fetch him in his gig, as befitted the dignity of a yeoman farmer and
nephew-by-marriage of the deceased, but Reuben angrily bade him go home
alone. He could not sit still, he must walk, stride off his fury, the
frenzy of rage and disgust and disappointment that consumed him.
What business had old Lardner to have a natural son? Never had the laws
of morality seemed to Reuben so august and necessary as then, or their
infringement more contemptible. He was filled with a righteous loathing
of this crapulous libertine who perpetuated the vileness of some low
intrigue by bequeathing his worldly goods to his bastard. Meantime his
virtuously married niece was put off with fifty pounds and some trashy
furniture. Reuben fairly grovelled before the seventh commandment that
afternoon.
He staggered blindly along the road. His head swam with rage, and also,
it must be confessed, with something else—for he was not used to
drinking whisky, which some obscure local tradition considered the only
decent beverage at funerals. His face was flushed, and every now and
then something would be whirled round by the wind and whip his cheeks
and blind him momentarily in a black cloud. At first he was too confused
to grapple with it, but when two long black arms suddenly wound
themselves about his neck, nearly choking him, he remembered his hat
with the crape weepers, and his rage from red-hot became white-hot and
cinerating. He tore off the hat with its long black tails, and flung it
into the ditch with a volley of those emasculate oaths which are all the
swearing of a Sussex man.
Afterwards he felt better, but he was still fuming when he came to
Odiam, and dashed up straight to Rose's bedroom, where she lay with the
ten-days-old David and a female friend from Rye, who had come in to hear
details about her confinement. Both, not to say all three, were startled
by Reuben's sudden entrance, crimson and hatless, his collar flying, the
dust all over him.
"Here! Wot d'you think?" he shouted; "if that old man äun't left all his
money to a bastard."
"Don't be so excited, Ben," said Rose; "you've no business to come
bursting in here like this."
"Remember your wife's delicate," said the lady friend.
"Well, wot I want to know is why you dudn't tell me all this afore."
"How could I? I didn't know how uncle was going to leave his money."
"You might have found out, and not let me in fur all this. Here I've bin
and gone and spent all your settlements on a milk-round, which I'd never
have done if I hadn't thought summat more 'ud be coming in later."
"Well, I can't help it. I expect that as uncle knew I was well provided
for, married and settled and all that, he thought he'd rather leave his
stuff to someone who wasn't."
"I like that—and you the most expensive woman to keep as ever was.
"Hold your tongue, Ben. I'm surprised at you."
"I justabout will speak. A purty mess you've got me into. You ought to
have told me before we married as he had a son out in Canada."
"I didn't know. This is the first I've heard of it. Anyhow, you surely
don't mean to say you married me for my money."
"Well, I wouldn't have married you if you hadn't got none."
"For Shame!" said the lady friend.
Rose burst into tears, and young David, interrupted in the midst of an
excellent meal, sent up a piercing wail.
"You'd better go downstairs till you know how to speak to your wife
properly," said the female from Rye.
"My wife's deceived me!" shouted Reuben. "I made sure as she'd come in
fur thousands of pounds when old Lardner died, and all she's got out of
him is fifty pounds and his lousy furniture."
"Furniture?" said Rose, brisking up; "why from what you said I thought
there was nothing. I could do with some furniture. I want a bedstead
with brass knobs."
"Well, you shan't have it. I'll justabout sell the whole lot. You can't
prevent me."
Rose's sobs burst forth afresh. Her friend ran up to her and took her in
her arms, badly squeezing poor David, who became purple and entirely
animal in his remonstrances.
Then the two women fairly stormed at Reuben. They told him he was a
money-grubber, an unnatural father, that he had been drinking, that he
ought to be ashamed of himself, that he had only got what he deserved.
Reuben tried to stand up to them, but Rose had an amazing power of
invective, and her friend, who was a spinster, but sometimes forgot it,
filled in the few available pauses so effectively that in the end the
wretched husband was driven from the room, feeling that the world held
even worse things than wealthy and perfidious libertines.
Of course there was a reconciliation. Such things had begun to loom
rather large in Reuben's married life. He had never had reconciliations
with Naomi—the storms had not been fierce enough to warrant a special
celebration of the calms. But he and Rose were always being reconciled.
At first he had looked upon these episodes as sweets of matrimony, more
blessed than any amount of honeymoon, but now he had gone a stage
further and saw them merely as part of the domestic ritual—that very
evening when he held Rose and the baby together in his big embrace he
knew that in a day or two he would be staling the ceremony by another
repetition.
He now began to crave for her active interest in his concerns. Hitherto
he had not much missed it, it had been enough for him if when he came in
tired and dispirited from his day's work, she had kissed him and rumpled
back the hair from his forehead and called him her "poor old man." Her
caresses and sympathy had filled the gap left by her help and
understanding. But now he began to want something more. He saw the
hollowness of her endearments, for she did nothing to make his burden
lighter. She refused to realise the seriousness of his position—left
stranded with an under taking which he would never have started if he
had not been certain of increased capital in the near future. She was
still extravagant and fond of pleasure, she either could not or would
not master the principles of economy; she saw the fat lands of Odiam
round her, and laughed at her husband when he told her that he was
crippled with expenses, and in spite of crops and beasts and barns must
live as if he were a poor man.
Of course, he had been rash—he saw now that he had been a fool to
speculate with the future. But who could have foretold that heir of
Lardner's?—no one had ever heard of him in Peasmarsh, and most people
were as astonished as Reuben though not so disgusted. Sometimes he had
an uneasy feeling that Lardner himself had not thought much about his
distant son till a year or two ago. He remembered how the old man had
disapproved of the way Rose's settlements were spent, and horrible
conjectures would assail him that some earlier will had been revoked,
and Rose disinherited because her uncle did not wish to put more money
into her husband's pocket.
After all, fifty pounds and some furniture was very little to leave his
only niece, who had lived with him, and had been married from his house.
It was nonsense to plead the excuse that she was comfortably settled and
provided for—the old man knew that Backfield had made a desperate
plunge and could not recoup himself properly without ready money. He
must have drawn up his will in the spirit of malice—Reuben could
imagine him grinning away in his grave. "Well, Ben Backfield, I've
justabout sold you nicely, haven't I?—next to no capital, tedious heavy
expenses, and a wife who döan't know the difference between a shilling
and a soverun. You thought you'd done yourself unaccountable well, old
feller, I reckon. Now you've found out your mistake. And you can't git
even wud me where I am. He! He!"
Reuben would imagine the corpse saying all sorts of insulting things to
him, and he had horrible nightmares of its gibes and mockery. One night
Rose woke in the dubious comfort of the new brass bed—which she had
wheedled Reuben into sparing from the auction—to find her husband
kneeling on his pillow and pinning some imaginary object against the
wall while he shouted—"I've got you, you old grinning ghosty—now we'll
see who's sold!"
She thought this immensely funny, and retailed it with glee to her
female friends who continued to invade the place. The multitude of these
increased as time went by, for Rose had the knack of attaching women to
herself by easy bonds. She was extremely confidential on intimate
subjects, and she was interested in clothes—indeed in that matter she
was even practical, and a vast amount of dressmaking was done on the
kitchen table, much to the disorganisation of Caro's cooking.
Sometimes there would be males too, and Reuben found that he could be
jealous on occasion. It annoyed him to see a young counter-jumper from
Rye sitting in the parlour with an unmanly tea-cup, and he would glare
on such aristocracy as a bank-clerk or embryo civil servant, whose
visits Rose considered lent a glamour to Odiam. Like a wise woman she
used her husband's jealousy to her own advantage. She soon grew
extremely skilful in manipulating it, and by its means wrung a good deal
out of him which would not otherwise have been hers.
It was true that her young men were not always on the spot when she
wanted them most, but on these occasions she used the drover Handshut, a
comely, well-set-up young fellow, of independent manners. Reuben more
than once had to drive him out of the kitchen.
"I wöan't have my lads fooling it in the house," he said to his wife,
when he found her winding a skein of wool off Handshut's huge brown
paws—"they've work enough to do outside wudout spannelling after you
women."
Rose smiled to herself, and when she next had occasion to punish Reuben,
invited his drover to a cup of tea.
Then there was an angry scene, stormings and tears, regrets, taunts, and
abuse—and another reconciliation.
In time, as these battles became more usual, the family were forced to
take sides. Peter supported Reuben, Caro supported Rose. There had been
an odd kind of friendship between the downtrodden daughter and the gay
wife ever since they had unpacked the latter's trunks together on her
wedding night and Caro had cried because Rose had what she might never
have.
Rose approved of this attitude—she liked to be envied; also Caro was
useful to her in many ways, helping her in the house, taking the burden
of many irksome duties off her shoulders, leaving her free to entertain
her friends or mix complexion washes. Moreover, there was something in
Caro which appealed in itself, a certain heavy innocence which tickled
the humour of the younger, more-experienced woman. Once her stepdaughter
had asked her what it felt like to be kissed, which had sent Rose into
rockings of laughter and a carnival of reminiscence. She liked to dazzle
this elderly child with her "affairs," she liked to shock her a little
too. She soon discovered that Caro was deeply scandalised at the thought
of a married woman having men friends to visit her, so she encouraged
the counter-jumpers and the clerks for Caro's benefit as well as
Reuben's.
It never occurred to her to throw these young people together, and give
the girl a chance of fighting her father and satisfying the vague
longings for adventure and romance which had begun to put torment into
her late twenties. She often told her it was a scandal that she had
never been allowed to know men, but her own were too few and useful to
be sacrificed to the forlorn. Besides, Caro had an odd shy way with men
which sometimes made them laugh at her. She had little charm, and though
not bad-looking in a heavy black-browed style, she had no feminine arts,
and always appeared to the very worst advantage.
Those were not very good times for Caro. She envied Rose, and at the
same time she loved her, as women will so often love those they envy.
Rose's attitude was one of occasional enthusiasm and occasional neglect.
Sometimes she would give her unexpected treats, make her presents of
clothes, or take her to a fair or to see the shops; at others she would
seem to forget all about her. She thought Caro a poor thing for not
standing up to Reuben, and despised her for her lack of feminine wiles.
At the same time she would often be extremely confidential, she would
pour out stories of love and kisses by moonlight, of ardent words, of
worship, of ecstasy, and send Caro wandering over strange paths, asking
strange questions of herself and fate, and sometimes—to the other's
delight—of Rose.
"Wot do you do to make a man kiss you?"
"Oh, I dunno. I just look at him like this with my eyes half shut. Then
if that isn't enough I part my lips—so."
The two women had been bathing. It was one of Rose's complaints that
Odiam did not make enough provision for personal cleanliness in the way
of baths and tubs. Reuben objected if she made the servant run up and
downstairs ten times or so with jugs of hot water to fill a wash-tub in
her bedroom—they had once had a battle royal about it, during which
Rose had said some humorous things about her man's washing—so in summer
she relieved the tension by bathing in the Glotten brook, where it ran
temporarily limpid and reclused at the foot of the old hop-garden. She
had persuaded Caro to join her in this adventure—according to her ideas
it was not becoming for a woman to bathe alone; so Caro had conquered
her objections to undressing behind a bush, and tasted for the first
time the luxury of a daily, or all but daily, bath.
Now they were dry and dressed once more, all except their stockings, for
Rose loved to splash her bare feet in the water—she adored the caress
of water on her skin. It was a hot day, the sun blinked through the
heavy green of the sallows, dabbling the stream with spots and ripples
of light. June had come, with a thick swarthiness in the fields, and the
scent of hayseed scorching into ripeness.
Rose leaned back against a trunk, a froth of fine linen round her knees.
She splashed and kicked her feet in the stream.
"Yes—I've only to look at a man like this ... and he always does it."
"But not now!" cried Caro.
"What do you mean by 'not now'?"
"Now you're married."
"Oh, no—I'm talking of before. All the same...."
"Wot!"
"Nothing. You'd be shocked."
Caro looked gloomily at the water. She did not like being told she would
be shocked, though she knew she would be.
At that moment there was a sound of "git back" and "woa" beyond the
hedge. The next minute two horses stepped into the Glotten just by the
bend.
"That must be Handshut," said Rose.
It was. He came knee-deep into the water with the horses, and, not
seeing the women, plunged his head into the cool reed-sweetened stickle.
"Take care—he'll see us!"—and Caro sharply gathered up her legs under
her blue and red striped petticoat. Rose continued to dabble hers in the
water, even after Handshut had lifted his head and looked in her
direction.
"Rose!" cried Caro.
"Well, why shouldn't he see my legs? They're unaccountable nice ones."
"All the more reason——"
"Not at all, Miss Prude."
Caro went crimson to the roots of her hair, and began pulling on her
stockings. Rose continued to splash her feet in the water, glancing
sidelong at Handshut.
"He's a nice lad, ain't he?"
Caro vouchsafed no reply.
"Reuben knows he's a nice lad, and he knows I know he's a nice lad.
Hasn't he got a lovely brown skin?"
"Hush."
But Rose was in a devilish mood.
"Look here," she said suddenly, "I'm going to prove the truth of what I
told you just now. I'm going to make that boy kiss me."
"Indeed you äun't."
"Yes I am. I'll go down and talk to him at the bend, and you can creep
along and watch us through the hedge; and I'll shut my eyes and maybe
part my lips, and he'll kiss me, you see if he don't."
"I won't see anything of the kind. I'm ashamed of you."
"Nonsense—it's only fun—we'll make a bet on it. If I fail, I'll give
you my new white petticoat with the lace edging. And I'll allow myself
ten minutes to do it in; that's quite fair, for it usually takes me
longer."
"And what am I to give you if you succeed?"
"Nothing—the kiss'll be enough for me. I've been wanting to know what
he was like to kiss for many a long day."
"Well, I'm justabout ashamed of you, and I wöan't have anything to do
with it."
"You can keep out then."
"Wot if I tell fäather?"
"You wouldn't tell him—you wouldn't be such a sneak. After all, what's
a man for, if it isn't to have a bit of fun with? I don't mean anything
serious—it's just a joke."
"What'll Handshut think it?"
"Just a joke too. You're so glum, Caro—you take everything so
seriously. There's nothing really serious in a kiss."
"Oh, äun't there!"
"No—it's just something one enjoys, same as cakes and bull's-eyes. I've
kissed dozens of people in my time and meant nothing by it, nor they
either. It's because you've no experience of these things that you think
such a lot of 'em. They're quite unimportant really, and it's silly to
make a fuss."
For some obscure reason Caro did not like to see herself credited with
the harshness of inexperience. She did her best to assume an air of
worldly toleration.
"Well, of course if it's only fun.... But fäather wudn't think it that."
"No, and I shouldn't like him to. You are funny, Caro. Don't watch me
if you're shocked—you can know nothing about it, and then you won't be
to blame. But I'm going to have my lark in spite of you."
"Put on your stockings first," said Caro sternly.
Rose made a face at her, but pulled on a pair of gauzy stockings,
securing them with garters of pale blue ribbon. Then she scrambled to
her feet and edged her way through the reeds and bushes to where young
Handshut stood at the bend.
He was not visible from where Caro sat, for he had come out of the
water, and for a minute or two she vowed that she would have nothing to
do with Rose's disgraceful spree. But after a time her curiosity got the
better of her. Would Rose be able to do as she said—persuade her
husband's drover to kiss her, simply by looking at him through
half-closed eyes? Of course Handshut was very forward, Caro told
herself, she had often disliked his attitude towards his mistress—he
would not want much encouragement. All the same she wanted to see if
Rose succeeded, and if she succeeded—how. She craned her neck, but
could see nothing till she had crept a few yards through the reeds. Then
she saw Rose and Handshut sitting just beyond the hedge, by the water's
rim.
The horses were drowsing in the stream, flicking at the flies with their
tails. Rose's dress made a brave blue splash against the green, and the
gold-flecked chestnut of her hair was very close to Handshut's brown
curls. Caro could dimly hear their voices, though she could not
distinguish what they said. Five minutes had passed, and still, though
close, there was a decent space between them. Then there was a little
lull in the flow of talk. They were looking at each other. Caro crept
nearer, something like a hot cinder in her heart.
They were still looking at each other. Then Handshut began to speak in a
lower voice than usual; he stopped—and suddenly their heads stooped
together, the gold and the brown touched, mingled, lingered, then drew
slowly apart.
Caro sprang to her feet. The couple in the field had risen too, but they
did not see her through the hedge. Her heart beat fiercely with an
uncontrollable anger. She could have shouted, screamed at them—at her
rather, this gay, comfortable, plump, spoilt wife, who had so many
kisses that she could look upon one more or less as fun.
Rose's merry, rather strident laugh rang out on the hushed noon.
Handshut stood facing her with his head held down; then she turned away
from him and laughed again. Her laugh rose, fluttered—then suddenly
broke.
It snapped like a broken knife. She turned back towards Handshut, and
they faced each other once more. Then Caro saw a strange and rather
terrible thing. She saw those two who had kissed for fun stumble
together in an embrace which was not for fun at all, and kiss with
kisses that were closer to tears than laughter.
There was a convention of silence between Caro and Rose. From that day
forward neither made any allusion to the escapade which had ended so
unexpectedly. At the same time it was from the other's silence that each
learned most; for Caro knew that if her eyes had deceived her and that
last kiss been like the first, for fun, Rose would have spoken of
it—while Rose knew that Caro had seen the transmutation of her joke
into earnest, because if she had not she would have been full of
comments, questions, and scoldings.
Sometimes Caro in her innocence would think that she ought to speak to
Rose, warn her, and plead with her to go carefully. But a vague fright
sealed her lips, and she was held at a distance by the reserve in which
the merry communicative Rose had suddenly wrapped herself. Those few
minutes by the brookside had changed her, though it would be hard to say
exactly in what the change lay. Caro was both repelled and baffled by
it. A more skilled observer would say that Rose had become suddenly
adult in her outlook as well as her emotions. For the first time she had
seen in its sorrowful reality the force which she had played with for so
many years. The shock disorganised her, drove her into a strange
silence. Love and she had always been hail-fellow-well-met, they had
romped and rollicked together through life; she had never thought that
her good comrade could change, or rather—more unimaginable still—that
she should suddenly discover that she had never really known him.
She was sobered. Her attitude towards things insensibly altered—to her
husband, her child, her servants she was different, and yet in such a
manner that none could possibly lay hands on the difference. Reuben's
jealousies and suspicions were increased. She avoided Handshut, and she
flourished the shopmen and clerks but feebly, yet he mistrusted her in a
way he had never done when her enthusiasms were flagrant. This was not
due to any psychological deduction, rather to a vague kind of guess, an
intuition, an uneasiness that communicated itself from her to him.
Rose had begun to question her attitude towards her husband. She had
hitherto never doubted for a moment that she loved him—of course she
loved him! But now she asked herself—"If I love him, how is it that our
most tender moments have never meant so much to me as that second kiss
of Handshut's?" None of Reuben's kisses stood out in her memory as that
kiss, he had never made the thrill of life go through her, he had never
filled her heart to bursting with joy so infinite that it was sorrow,
and sorrow so exquisite that it was joy. She would observe Reuben, and
she would see him—old. He was fifty-four, and his hair was grey; there
were crow's-feet at the corners of his eyes, and straight lines between
his brows, where he had furrowed them as the pitiless sun beat down upon
his face. There were other lines too, seamed and scored by hard
struggles. He was strong as an ox, but she told herself he was beginning
to move a bit stiffly. He had exposed himself so ruthlessly to the wet
and cold that his joints had become rheumatic. It was nothing very much,
but he liked to have her rub them occasionally, and up till then she had
liked it too. Now she suddenly saw something dreary and preposterous in
it—here she was married to a man thirty years older than herself, his
chattel, his slave. She did not really love him—how could she, with all
those years between them? She was fond of him, that was all—and he was
getting older, and horribly cantankerous; and she was young—oh, God!
she had never known till then how young.
Then suddenly it all changed. One day she found herself alone with
Handshut—and nothing happened. His manner was quite that of the
respectful servant towards his mistress, he made no allusion to the
scene by the brook, spoke entirely of indifferent things. And she, she
herself—that was the biggest, best surprise of all—did not feel the
slightest embarrassment, or the slightest pang. On the contrary, all the
passion which had scorched and withered her heart since the day of the
kiss, seemed to die away, leaving her the old Rose, gay, confident, and
at peace with all men.
She had been a fool—she had brooded over a little trivial incident till
it had assumed unwarranted proportions and frightened her. Nothing
whatever had happened to her and Handshut—they had shared a joke, that
was all. She did not love him, she loved her husband, and she was a fool
to have thought anything else. Love was not a drama or a tragedy, but a
game and a lark, or at times a comfortable emotion towards one's lawful
husband, who was the best and finest man in the world.
The joy of this discovery quite restored Rose, and she flirted with
Handshut so outrageously in front of Reuben, that afterwards they had
one of the biggest quarrels of their lives.
'Seventy-four was another bad year for Odiam, and it was more hopeless
than its predecessors, for Reuben had now no expectations to sustain
him. His position was really becoming serious. In '68 he had bought more
land than he could afford, for fear that Grandturzel would buy it if he
did not, and in '71 he had started his accursed milk-round, which had
proved nothing but an expense and a failure. He still clung to it, for
the shop by the Landgate gave him prestige, and he had always hoped that
affairs would mend, but he was gradually coming to realise that prestige
can be bought too dear, and that his affairs were too heavily clogged to
improve of their own accord.
He must take steps, he must make some sacrifice. He resolved to sell the
milk-round. It was either that or a mortgage, and a mortgage was far the
greater ignominy. After all he had not had the round more than two or
three years, it had never flourished, and the parting wrench would not
be a bad one. Of course his reputation would suffer, but hard cash was
at the present moment more valuable than reputation.
Unfortunately it was also more difficult to get. Those years had been
bad for everybody, and none of the surrounding farmers seemed disposed
to add to his burdens by so uncertain a deal. If the thing had not
thriven with Backfield it was not likely to thrive with anyone else. For
the first time Reuben cursed his own renown.
However, he hoped better things from the next spring. If lambing was
good and the season promising, farmers would not be so cautious.
Meantime he would keep Odiam in chains, he would save every penny, skim,
pare, retrench, and learn the lesson of his lean years.
Unfortunately he had reckoned without Rose—Rose saw no need for such
drastic measures. Because her man had been venturesome and stupid, made
rash speculations, and counted on a quite unwarranted legacy, that was
no reason for her to go without her new spring gown or new covers for
her parlour chairs. She was once more expecting motherhood, and
considered that as a reward for such self-sacrifice the most expensive
luxuries were inadequate.
At the same time, feeling quite at ease about herself and Handshut, she
led Reuben a freakish dance of jealousy, going to extravagant lengths in
the hope of breaking down his resistance and goading him into
compliance. But she did not find jealousy such a good weapon as it had
used to be. Reuben would grow furious, thundery and abusive, but she
never caught him, as formerly, in the softness of reaction, nor did the
fear of a rival stimulate any more profitable emotion than rage.
The truth was that Reuben had now become desperate. He could not give in
to Rose. If he sacrificed his farm to her in the smallest degree he ran
the risk of ruin. He was torn in two by the most powerful forces of his
life. On one side stood Odiam, trembling on the verge of catastrophe,
needing every effort, every sacrifice of his, every drop of his sweat,
every drop of his blood. On the other stood Rose, the dearest human
thing, who demanded that for her sake he should forget his farm and the
hopes bound up in it. He would not do so—and at the same time he would
not lose Rose. Though her love no longer gave him the gift of peace, he
still clung to it; her presence, her voice, her touch, still fired and
exalted him. He would not let her go—and he would not let Odiam go.
The struggle was terrible; it wore him out. He fought it desperately—to
neither side would he surrender an inch. Sometimes with Rose's arms
about him, her soft cheek against his and her perfidy forgotten, he
would be on the brink of giving her the pretty costly thing, whatever it
was, that she wanted at the expense of Odiam. At others, out in his
fields, or on the slope of Boarzell—half wild, half tamed—with all
those unconquered regions swelling above him, he would feel that he
could almost gladly lose Rose altogether, if to keep her meant the
sacrifice of one jot of his ambition, one tittle of his hope. Then he
would go home, and find her ogling Handshut through the window, or
giving tea in her most seductive manner to some young idiot with clean
hands—and round would go the wheel again—round and round....
As a matter of fact he had never been so secure of Rose as then; the
very shamelessness of her flirtations was a proof of it—a whoop of joy,
so to speak, at finding herself free of what she had feared would be a
devastating passion. But who could expect Reuben to guess that? He saw
only the freak of a treacherous nature, turning from him to men younger
and more compliant than himself. Jealousy, from a fit, became a habit.
He grew restless and miserable—he would run in suddenly from his work
to see what his wife was doing, he would cross-examine Caro, he would
even ask Pete to keep an eye on her. Sometimes he thought of dismissing
Handshut, but the lad was an excellent drover, and Reuben had bursts of
sanity in which he saw the foolishness of such a sacrifice. Rose flirted
nowadays with every man she met—she was, he told himself furiously, a
thoroughly light and good-for-nothing girl—she was not worth the loss
of a fellow like Handshut.
Thus the days dragged on wretchedly for everyone except Rose, and in
time they grew wretched for her too. She began to tire of the cracklings
of the flame she had kindled, of Reuben's continued distrust and
suspicion, of Caro's goggle-eyed disapproval, of Peter's spying
contempt. The time of her lying-in drew nearer, she had to give up her
gay doings, and felt frightened and alone. Everyone was against her,
everyone disapproved of her. She began to wish that she had not found
her love for Handshut to be an illusion, to wish that the kiss beside
the Glotten brook had been in reality what she had dreamed it.... After
all, is it not better to embrace the god and die than to go through the
unhappy days in darkness?
One evening when Reuben was out inspecting a sick cow, Rose lay on the
sofa languidly shelling peas. Once more it was June, and a rusty heat
was outside blurring the orchard. Her fingers often lay idle in the bowl
of peas, for though her task relieved the sweltering boredom which had
weighed on her all day, every now and then a great lassitude would sweep
over her, slacking her muscles, slacking her thoughts, till she drooped
into a vague stagnation of sorrow.
She felt horribly, uselessly tired, her gay spirits had trickled from
her in sheer physical discomfort, and in her heart an insistent question
writhed like a little flame.
Two tears formed slowly in the corners of her eyes, welled at last over
the silky, spidery lashes, and rolled down her cheeks. In themselves
they were portents—for Rose hardly ever cried. More wonderful still,
she did not know that she was crying, she merely became stupidly
conscious of a smudging of those motionless trees beyond the garden, and
a washing of the hard, copper-coloured sky.
She feebly put up her hand and brushed the veil away—already something
strange had loomed through it, whipping her curiosity. A man was at the
window, his head and shoulders dark against the sunset.
"Handshut!"
"Yes, ma'am."
She frowned, for she seemed to catch a ring of mockery in the respectful
words. She wondered if it had always been there.
"Where's master?"
"In the shed with Brindle."
"And how is she?"
"I dunno—we've sent for the veterinary."
There was silence. Outside the flowers rustled in the slow hot breeze.
The background of trees was growing dim, a web of shadow at the foot of
the garden.
Handshut still leaned on the sill, and she realised that if his words
were decorous, his attitude was not. Surely he had something better to
do than hang in at her window. Half his face was in shadow, half was
reddened by the smouldering sky—it was the face of a young gipsy,
brown, sullen, and mocking. She suddenly pulled herself into a sitting
posture.
"What are you staying for?—I reckon the master wants you."
"No—it's you that wants me, surelye."
The blood ebbed from her lips. She felt afraid, and yet glad. Then
suddenly she realised what was happening and dragged herself back into
dignity and anger.
"I don't want you."
"Yes you do."
"Kindly go at once, or I shall call someone."
"Rose!"
Once more she fell back into her state of terror and delight. His
coolness seemed to paralyse her—she could not act. She could only lie
and watch him, trembling. Why had he changed so?—he, who had never
faltered in his attitude of stiff respect under her most outrageous and
flirtatious digs.
"Rose," he said again, and his voice quivered as he said it, "you do
want me a liddle bit now."
"What—what makes you think so?"
He shrugged his shoulders—there must have been some foreign streak in
his yokel's blood.
"I döan't think it—I know. A year agone you dudn't want me, so I kipt
back, I wurn't a-going to mäake you suffer. You wur frightened of that
kiss...."
He had spoken it—her terror. "Don't!" she cried.
"You wur frightened, so I saw you wurn't ready, and I tried to mäake you
feel as naun had happened."
"Yes, I thought you were a gentleman," she said with a sudden rap of
anger.
"I äun't that. I'm just a poor labouring man, wot loves you, and wot you
love."
She tried to speak, but the words burnt up in her mouth.
"And a labouring man you love's worth more than a mäaster you döan't
love, I reckon."
She shrank back on the sofa, folding her arms over her breast and
gripping her shoulders.
"You needn't look so frightened. I'm only saying it. It wöan't mäake no
difference—unless you want it to."
"How dare you speak to me like this?"
"Because I see you're justabout miserable, and I thought I'd say as how
I'm beside you—only that."
"How—how d'you know I'm miserable?"
"Plain enough."
The sky had faded behind him and a crimson moon looked over his
shoulder.
"Plain enough," he repeated, "but you needn't be scared. I'll do naun
you döan't want; I'll come no nearer you than I am now—unless you call
me."
She burst into tears.
He did not move. His head and shoulders were now nothing but a dark
block against the purple and blue of the sky. The moon hung just above
him like a copper dish.
"Döan't cry," he said slowly—"I'm only looking in at the window."
She struggled to her feet, sobs shaking and tearing her, and stumbled
through the darkness to the door. Still sobbing she dragged herself
upstairs, clinging to the rail, and every now and then stopping and
bending double. Her loud sobs rang through the house, and soon the
womenfolk were about her, questioning her, soothing her, and in the end
putting her, still weeping, to bed. While outside in the barn Reuben
watched in agony beside a sick cow.
When late the next morning a woman ran out of the house into the
cow-stable, and told Reuben that his wife had given him a fine boy, he
merely groaned and shook his head.
He sat on a stool at the foot of Brindle's stall, and watched her as she
lay there, slobbering her straw. His face was grim and furrowed, lines
scored it from nose to mouth and across the forehead; his hair was damp
and rough on his temples, his eyes were dull with sleeplessness.
"Wöan't yer have summat t'eat, mäaster?" asked Beatup, looking in.
All Reuben said was:
"Has the Inspector come?"
"No, mäaster—I'll bring him räound soon as he does. Wöan't you have a
bite o' cheese if I fetch it?"
Reuben shook his head.
"Mäaster——" continued the man after a pause.
"Well?"
"I hear as how it's a liddle son...."
Reuben mumbled something inarticulate, and Beatup took himself off. His
master's head fell between his clenched hands, and as the cow gave a
sudden slavering cough in the straw, a shudder passed over his skin, and
he hunched himself more despairingly.
Odiam had triumphed at last. Just when Reuben's unsettled allegiance
should have been given entirely to the wife who had borne him a son, his
farm had suddenly snatched from him all his thought, all his care, his
love, and his anxiety, all that should have been hers. It seemed almost
as if some malignant spirit had controlled events, and for Rose's stroke
prepared a counter-stroke that should effectually drive her off the
field. The same evening that Rose had gone weeping and shuddering
upstairs, Reuben had interviewed the vet. from Rye and heard him say
"excema epizootica." This had not conveyed much, so the vet. had
translated brutally:
"Foot-and-mouth disease."
The most awful of a farmer's dooms had fallen on Reuben. The new
Contagious Diseases of Animals Act made it more than probable that all
his herd would have to be slaughtered. Of course, there would be a
certain amount of compensation, but government compensation was never
adequate, and with the multitudinous expenses of disinfecting and
cleansing he was likely to sustain some crippling losses, just when
every penny was vital to Odiam. He knew of a man who had been ruined by
an outbreak of pleuro-pneumonia, of another who had been forced by
swine-fever to sell half his farm. Besides, any hope of a deal over his
milk-round was now at an end. His dairy business, whether in town or
country, was destroyed, and his reputation would be probably as
unjustly damaged, so that he would not be able to adventure on that road
for years—perhaps never again.
Small wonder, then, that the birth of a son brought no joy. The child
was born to an inheritance of shame, the heir of disaster. Reuben's head
bowed nearly to his knees. He felt old and broken. He began to see that
it was indeed dreadfully possible that he had thriven all these years,
conquered waste lands, and enriched fat lands, only to be overthrown at
last by a mere arbitrary piece of ill-luck. How the disease had broken
out he could not tell—he had bought no foreign cattle, indeed recently
he had bought no cattle at all. He could not blame himself in the
smallest degree; it was just a malignant capricious thrust—as if fate
had wanted to show him that what had taken him years of labour and
battle and sacrifice to build up, could be destroyed in as many days.
A little hope sustained him till the Inspector's visit—the vet. might
have been mistaken, the Inspector might not order a wholesale
destruction. But these faint sparks were soon extinguished. The loathed
epidemic had undoubtedly lifted up its head at Odiam, and Reuben's
entire herd of Jersey, Welsh, and Sussex cattle was doomed to slaughter.
The next few days were like a horrible jumbled nightmare, something
malignant, preposterous, outside experience. Three men came over from
the slaughterhouse at Rye, and plied their dreadful work till evening.
The grey and dun-coloured Jerseys with their mild, protruding eyes, the
sturdy Welsh with their little lumpy horns, the Sussex all coloured like
a home-county landscape in reds and greys and browns—bowed their meek
heads under the ox-killer, and became mere masses of meat and horn and
hide. Profitless masses, too, for all the carcases were ordered to be
burned.
The nightmare had its appropriate ending. Sixty dead beasts were burned
in lime. Boarzell became Hinnom—it was the most convenient open space,
so Reuben's herd was burned on it. From a dozen different pyres
streamers of white smoke flew along the wind, and a strange terrible
smell and tickling of the nostrils troubled the labourer on the westward
lands by Flightshot or Moor's Cottage.
The neighbourhood sat up in thrilled dismay, and watched Odiam pass
through its hour. The farm was shut off from civilisation by a barrier
of lime—along every road that flanked it, outside every gate that
opened on it, the stuff of fiery purification was spread. The fields
with their ripening oats and delicately browned wheat, the orchards
where apples trailed the boughs into the grass, the snug red house, and
red and brown barns, the black, turrets of the oasts, all cried
"Unclean! Unclean!"
Odiam was a leper. None might leave it without rubbing his boots in
lime, no beasts could be driven beyond its hedges. More, the curse
afflicted the guiltless—the markets at Rye and Battle were forbidden,
the movements of cattle were restricted, and Coalbran once indignantly
showed Reuben a certificate which he found he must have ready to produce
every time he moved his single cow across the lane from the hedge
pasture to the stream fallow.
Public opinion was against Backfield, and blamed him surlily for the
local inconvenience.
"Döan't tell me," said Coalbran in the bar, "as it wurn't his fault.
Foot-and-mouth can't just drop from heaven. He must have bought some
furriners, and they've carried it wud 'em, surelye."
"Serve un right," said Ticehurst.
"Still, I'm sorry for him," said Realf of Grandturzel—"he's the only
man hereabouts wot's really made a serious business of farming, and it's
a shame he should get busted."
"He äun't busted yet," said Coalbran.
"But you mark my words, he will be," said Ticehurst; "anyways I shud lik
him to be, fur he's a high-stomached man, and only deserves to be put
down."
"He's down enough now, surelye! I saw him only yesterday by the Glotten
meadows, and there was a look in his eye as I'll never forget."
"And yit he's as proud as the Old Un himself. I met him on Thursday, and
I told him how unaccountable sorry we all wur fur him, and he jest
spat."
"I offered to help him wud his burning," said Realf, "and he said as
he'd see me and my lousy farm burnt first."
"He's a tedious contradictious old feller—he desarves all he's got.
Let's git up a subscription fur him—that ud cut him to the heart, and
he wudn't täake it, so it ud cost us naun, nuther."
The rest of the bar seemed to think, however, that Reuben might take the
money out of spite, so Coalbran's charitable suggestion collapsed for
lack of support.
Meantime, so fast bound in the iron of his misery that he scarcely felt
the prick of tongues, Reuben lived through the final stages of his
nightmare—those final stages of shock and upheaval when the fiery
torment of the dream dies down into the ashes of waking. He wandered
over his land in his lime-caked boots, scarcely talking to those at work
on it, directing with mere mechanical activity the labour which now
seemed to him nothing but the writhings of a crushed beetle. Everyone
felt a little afraid of him, everyone avoided him as much as
possible—he was alone.
His nostrils were always full of the smart of lime, and the stench of
those horrible furnaces belching away on the slopes of the Moor. Would
that burning never be done? For days the yellowy white pennons of
destruction had flown on Boarzell, and that acrid reek polluted the
harvest wind. Boarzell was nothing but a huge funeral pyre, a smoking
hell.... "And the smoke of her went up for ever and ever."
An atmosphere of gloom lay over Odiam; Reuben brought it with him
wherever he went, and fogged the house with it as well as the barns.
Even Rose felt an aching pity for her strong man, something quite
different from the easy gushes of condolence which had used to be all
she could muster in the way of sympathy.
But Reuben did not take much notice of Rose, nor even of his little son.
Now and then he would look at them together, sigh impatiently, then go
out of the room.
Sometimes he would be more interested, and, in a fit of reaction from
his proud loneliness, turn to her as of old for comfort. But those were
the bitterest hours of all, for in them he would glimpse a difference,
an aloofness. She had been much quieter since the birth of the second
boy, she had not recovered her health so rapidly, and her eyes were big
in the midst of bistred rings. She had given up flirting with Handshut,
or with the young men from Rye, but she did not turn from them to her
husband. Though he could see she was sorry for him, he felt—vaguely,
uncertainly, yet tormentingly—that she was not all his, as she had been
in brighter months. Sometimes he did not much care—sometimes a dreadful
passion would consume him, and once he caught her to his breast and
bruised her in his arms, crying—"I wöan't lose you—I wöan't lose you
too."
Rose could not read his mood; one day she would feel her husband had
been alienated from her by his sorrow, another that his need of her was
greater than ever. She herself carried a heavy heart, and in her mind a
picture of the man who was "only looking in at the window." She seemed
to see him standing there, with the moon rising over his shoulder,
while from behind him something in the garden, in the night, called ...
and called.
She could still hear that call, muted, tender, wild—the voice of her
youth and of her love, calling to her out of the velvet night, bidding
her leave the house where the hearth was piled with ashes, and feel the
rain and the south wind on her lips. There was no escape in sleep, for
her dreams showed her that window framing a sky soft and dark as a
grape, with the blackness of her lover's bulk against it, while the moon
rose over his shoulder, red, like a fiery pan....
She felt afraid, and did not know where to turn. She avoided Handshut,
who stood remote; and though her husband sometimes overwhelmed her with
miserable hungry love, he often scarcely seemed to notice her or her
children, and she knew that she counted far less than his farm. He was
terribly harsh with her now, frowning by the hour over her
account-books, forbidding this or that, and in his gloom scarcely
noticing her submission.
July passed. Odiam was no longer cut off from the rest of the world by
lime. Reuben with the courage of despair began to organise his shattered
strength. He discharged Piper—now that his cows were gone he could
easily do with a hand less. He sometimes wondered why he had not
discharged Handshut, but the answer was always ready—Handshut was far
the better workman, and Odiam now came easily before Rose. Not that
Reuben's jealousies had left him—they still persisted, though in a
different form. The difference lay in the fact that now he would not
sacrifice to them the smallest scrap of Odiam's welfare.
He sometimes asked himself why he was still jealous. Rose no longer gave
him provocation, she was much quieter than she had used to be, and
seemed busy with her children and straitened house-keeping. It was once
more a case of instinct, of a certain vague sensing of her aloofness.
Often he did not trouble about it, but sometimes it seared through him
like a hot bar.
One evening he came home particularly depressed. He had just finished
the most degrading transaction of his life—the raising of a mortgage on
the Flightshot side of his land. It was horrible, but it was
unavoidable. He could not now sell his milk-round, and yet he absolutely
must have ready money if he was to stand up against circumstances. The
mortgagee was a wealthy Rye butcher, and Reuben had hopes that the
disgraceful affair might be kept secret, but also an uneasy suspicion
that it was at that moment being discussed in every public-house.
He went straight to find Rose, for that mood was upon him. The due of
loneliness which his shame demanded had been paid during the drive home
from Rye, and now he quite simply and childishly wanted his wife. She
was in the kitchen, stooping over some child's garment, the little
frills of which she was pleating in her fingers. She lifted her head
with a start as he came in, and he saw that her face was patched with
tearstains.
"Wot've you bin crying for?" he asked as he slid a chair close to hers.
He wondered if the humiliation of Odiam had at last come to mean to her
a little of what it meant to him.
"I haven't been crying."
"But your face ..."
"That's the heat."
He drew back from her a little. Why should she lie to him about her
tears?
"Oh, well, if you döan't choose to tell me ... But I've eyes in my
head."
She seemed anxious to propitiate him.
"How did it go off? Have you settled with Apps?"
He nodded.
"It's all over now—I've touched bottom."
"Nonsense, Ben. You mustn't say that. After all there's nothing
extraordinary about a mortgage—uncle had one for years on a bit of his
farm at Rowfant. Besides, think of all you've got left."
He laughed bitterly. "I äun't got much left."
Then suddenly he turned towards her as she sat there by him, her head
bowed over her work—her delicate, rather impertinent nose outlined
against the firelight, her cheek and neck bewitched with running
shadows.
"But I've got you."
A great tenderness transported him, a great melting. He put his arm
round her waist, and made as if to pull her close.
She drew back from him with a shudder.
It was only for a moment—the next she yielded. But he had seen her
reluctance, felt the shiver of repulsion go through her limbs. He rose,
and pushed back his chair.
"I'm sorry," he said in a low thick voice—"I'm sorry I interrupted
your—crying."
Then he went out, and gave Handshut a week's notice.
Rose was intensely relieved. She felt that at last and for ever the
tormenting mystery would have gone from her life. Once Handshut was
away, she told herself, she would slip back into the old groove—a
little soberer and softer perhaps, but definitely free of that Reality
which had been so terribly different from its toy-counterfeit.
Once Handshut was gone, her heart would not pursue him. It was his
continual presence that tormented. True, he never sought her out, or
persecuted her, or even spoke to her without her speaking first—he only
looked in at the window.... But a woman soon learns what it means to
have a man's face between her and the simplicities of life in her
garden, between her and the divinities of the stars and moon.
Rose did not find in her love a sweetness to justify the bitterness of
its circumstances. The fact that it had been awakened by a man who was
her inferior in the social-agricultural scale, who could give her
nothing of the material prosperity she so greatly prized, instead of
inspiring her with its beauty, merely convinced her of its folly. She
saw herself a woman crazed, obsessed, bewitched, and she looked eagerly
forward to the day when the spell should be removed and she should go
back chastened to the common, comfortable things of life.
But meantime a strange restlessness consumed her, tinctured by a
horrible boldness. There were moments when she no longer was afraid of
Handshut, when she felt herself impelled to seek him out, and make the
most of the short time they had together. There could be no danger, for
he was going so soon ... so few more words, so few more glances.... Thus
her mind worked.
She was generally able to control these impulses, but as the days
slipped by they grew too strong for her untrained resistance. She felt
that she must make the most of her chances because they were so
limited—before he went for ever she must have one more memory of his
voice, his look—his touch ... oh, no! her thoughts had carried her
further than she had intended.
She found herself beginning to haunt the places where she would be
likely to meet him—the edge of the horse-pond or the Glotten brook, the
door of the huge, desolate cow-stable, where six cheap Suffolks
emphasised the empty stalls. Reuben did not seem to take any notice of
her, he had relieved his feelings by dismissing Handshut, and his farm
had swallowed him up again. Rose felt defiant and forlorn. Both her
husband and her lover seemed to avoid her. She would lean against the
great wooden posts of the door, in the listless weary attitude of a
woman's despair.
Then two days before the end he came. As she was standing by the barn
door he appeared at the horse-pond, and crossed over to her at once. He
had seen that she was waiting for him—perhaps he had seen it on half a
dozen other occasions when she had not seen him.
Rose could calm the silly jumps of her heart only by telling herself
that this was quite an accidental meeting. She made an effort to be
commonplace.
"How's Topsy's foal?"
"Doing valiant. Will you come out wud me to-morrow evenun to see the
toll-burning?"
She flushed at his audacity.
"No!—how can I?"
"You can quite easy, surelye. Mäaster's going to Cranbrook Fair, and
wöan't be home till läate. It's the last night, remember."
She made a gallant effort to be the old Rose.
"What's that to me?—you've got some cheek!"
"I'm only not pretending as much as you are. Why shud you pretend?
Pretending 'ull give you naun sweet to remember when I'm gone."
"What tolls are they going to burn?"
"The gëates up at Leasan and Mockbeggar, and then over the marsh to
Thornsdale. It 'ud be a shame fur you to miss it, and mäaster can't
täake you, since he's going to Cranbrook."
"It would never do if people saw us."
"Why? Since your husband can't go, wot's more likely than he shud send
his man to täake you?"
Rose shuddered. "I'm not coming."
Handshut turned on his heel.
Already the turnpike gates had disappeared from the greater part of
Sussex, but they still lingered in the Rye district, for various
reasons, not always bearing close inspection. There had been an
anti-toll party both before and after the famous Scott's Float gate had
catastrophically ended Reuben's political career—and at last this had
carried the day. All the gates were to come down except those on the
Military Road, and the neighbourhood was to celebrate their abolition by
burning them in tar.
Reuben, still proud and sore, stood aloof from local jollities—besides,
he had heard that there were to be some cheap milkers for sale at
Cranbrook Fair, and he was anxious to add a little to his dairy stock.
Though a large milk-round was out of the question, the compensation
money he had received from Government would allow him to carry on a
small dairy business, as in humbler days. Of course, the fact that he
had lost over sixty cows from foot-and-mouth disease would materially
damage his prospects even in a limited sphere, but a farm which let its
dairy rot was doomed to failure, and Reuben was still untamed by
experience, and hoped much from small beginnings.
So early that morning he drove off in his gig, accompanied by Pete, who
had a good eye for cattle, and had moreover challenged the Canterbury
Kid for a purse of five guineas. Rose watched them go, and waved
good-bye unnoticed to her man, as he leaned forward over the reins,
thinking only of how much he could spare for a yearling. She went back
into the house, and stoned plums. After dinner she mended the children's
clothes, with a little grimace for the faded ribbons and tattered frills
which Reuben would not allow her to renew. Then she took the baby and
little David for an airing in the orchard—Handshut, raking
unromantically in the midden, saw her sitting, a splash of faded violet
under an apple tree—then she bathed them and put them to bed.
All this was a propitiatory offering to the god of the hearth, who,
however, did not take the slightest notice, or stay as he so easily
might (so the scripture saith) that hunger for her beloved which was
gnawing at the young wife's heart. Instead, it seemed to grow in its
devouring pain—her domesticity stimulated rather than deadened it, and
by the time her day's tasks were over it had eaten up her poor heart
like a dainty, and she was its unresisting prey.
After the children were in bed she changed her dress, putting on the
best she had—a washing silk with pansies sewn over it, one of her
wedding gowns. She frowned at it as she had frowned at the babies'
dresses—it was so old-fashioned, and worn in places. She suddenly found
herself wishing that she loved Reuben so much as not to mind wearing old
clothes for his sake. For the first time she could visualise such a
state of affairs, for she had met the man for whom she would have worn
rags. If only that man had been Reuben, her lawful husband, instead of
another! "But I'll be true to him! I'll be true to him!" she murmured,
and found comfort in the words till she realised that it was the first
time that she had ever glimpsed the possibility of not being true.
She went down into the kitchen, where Caro was baking suet.
"Caro, I'm going out to see the gates burned. I expect I'll be back
before Ben is, but if I'm not, tell him where I'm gone."
"You can't go by yourself—he wudn't like it."
"I'm not going by myself—Handshut's taking me."
Caro's suety hands fell to her sides.
"Rose—you know—how can you?—that's worse than alone, surelye!"
"Nonsense! What's more natural that one of my servants should come with
me, since my husband can't?"
"Your servant...."
"Yes, my servant."
Caro, regardless of the suet on her hands, hid her face in them.
"Oh, Rose, I can't tell him—I daren't. Why, he turned away Handshut
because of you."
"He did not, miss—you're impudent!"
"Well, why shud fäather git shut of the best drover he ever had on his
farm, if it äun't——"
"Be quiet! I won't hear such stuff. I'm not going to be a prisoner, and
miss my fun just because you and Ben are jealous fools."
"But I daren't tell him where you've agone."
"I dare say you won't have to—I'm not staying out all night."
She laughed one of her coarse screaming laughs, with the additional
drawback of mirthlessness; then she went out of the room, leaving Caro
sobbing into suety palms.
Outside in the yard, Handshut stood by the pump, apparently absorbed in
studying the first lights of Triangulum as they kindled one by one in
the darkening sky.
Rose pattered up to him in the shabby white kid shoes that had been so
trim and smart five years ago.
"I've changed my mind."
"Then you äun't coming."
"Yes, I am."
"Then you haven't changed it."
The roads outside Rye were dark with people. A procession was forming up
at Rye Foreign, and another at the foot of Cadborough Hill. Outside the
railway station a massed band played something rather like the
Marseillaise, while the grass-grown, brine-smelling streets were spotted
with stragglers, hurrying up from all quarters, some carrying torches
that flung shifting gleams on windows and gable-ends.
Immense barrels of tar had been loaded on four waggons, to which four of
the most prosperous farmers of the district had harnessed teams. Odiam
was of course not represented, nor was Grandturzel, but three
bell-ringing sorrels had come all the way from Kitchenhour, while the
marsh farms of Leasan, the Loose, and Becket's House, accounted for the
rest.
The crowd surged round the waggons, cheered, joked, sang. The whole of
Rye was there—prosperous tradesmen from the High Street or Station
Road, innkeepers, farmers, shop-assistants, chains of fishermen in high
boots, jerseys, and gold ear-rings, coast-guards from the Camber, and
one or two scared-looking women clinging to stalwart arms.
Rose shrank close to Handshut, though she did not take his arm.
Sometimes the crowd would fling them together, so that they were close
as in an embrace, at others they would stand almost apart, linked only
by sidelong glances. The flare of a torch would suddenly slide over
Handshut's face, showing her its dark gipsy profile, and she would turn
away her eyes as from something too bright to bear.
Every now and then the crowd would start singing inanely:
"Soles, plaice, and dabs,
Rate, skate, and crabs.
God save the Queen!"
It was like a muddled dream—people seemed to have no reason for what
they did or shouted; they just ebbed and flowed, jostled and jambed, ran
hither and thither, sang and laughed and swore. Rose looked round her to
see if she could recognise anyone; now and then a face glowed on her in
the torch-light, then died away, once she thought she saw the back of a
tradesman's daughter whom she knew—but her chief feeling was of an
utter isolation with her loved one, as if he and she stood alone on some
sea-pounded island against which the tides of the world roared in vain.
At last the crowd began to move. The band had crushed through to the
front of it, and was braying Rule Britannia up Playden Hill; then came
the waggons, then the stout champions of freedom, singing at the pitch
of their lungs:
"Soles, plaice, and dabs,
Rate, skate, and crabs.
God save the Queen!"
The stars winked on the black zenith, while troubled winds sped and
throbbed over the fields that huddled in mystery and silence on either
side of the road—where noise and skirmish and darting lights, with the
odours of warm human bodies, and the thudding and scrabbling of a
thousand feet, proclaimed the People's holiday.
They flowed through Playden like a torrent through an open sluice,
sweeping up and carrying on all sorts of flotsam—villagers from cottage
doors, ploughboys from the farms down by the Military Canal, gipsies
from Iden Wood ... a mixed multitude, which the central mass absorbed,
till all was one steaming and shouting blackness.
The first gate was at Mockbeggar, where the road to Iden joins that
which crosses the Marsh by Corkwood and Baron's Grange. In a minute it
was off its hinges, and swealing in tar, while lusty arms pulled twigs,
branches, even whole bushes out of the hedges to build its pyre.
Rose shrank close to Handshut, so close that the clover scents of her
laces were drowned in the smell of the cowhouse that came from his
clothes. She found herself liking it, drinking in that soft, mixed,
milky odour ... till a cloud of stifling tar-smoke swept suddenly over
them, and she reeled against him suffocating, while all round them
people choked and gasped and sneezed.
The fire was lighted, a great crimson tongue screamed up in front of
two motionless poplars, leaped as high as their tops, then spread
fan-shaped, roaring. Men and women joined hands and danced round the
blaze—in the distance, above the surging pack of heads, Rose could see
them jumping and capering, with snatches of song that became screams
every minute.
The fire roared like a storm, and the wood crackled with sudden yelping
reports. The dancing girls' hats flew off, their hair streamed wide,
their skirts belled and swirled ... there was laughter and obscene
remarks from the onlookers. Many from the rear pressed forward to join
the dance, and those who were trampled on screamed or cursed, while one
or two women fainted. Rose felt as if she would faint in the heat and
reek of it all. She leaned heavily against Handshut and closed her eyes
... then she realised that his arm was round her. He held her against
him, supporting her, while either she heard or thought she heard him
say—"Döan't be scared, liddle Rose—I'm wud you. I wöan't let you
fall."
She opened her eyes. The people were moving. The Mockbeggar gate had
been accounted for, and they rolled on towards Thornsdale. The jamb was
not so alarming, for a good many revellers had been left behind, dancing
round the remains of the bonfire, crowding into the public-house, or
scattering in couples over the fields.
But though the jostling was no longer dangerous, Handshut still kept his
arm about Rose, and held her close to his side. Now and then she made a
feeble effort as if to free herself, but he held her fast, and she never
put out her full strength. They walked as if in a dream, they two
together, not speaking to anyone, not speaking to each other. Rose saw
as if in a dream the Sign of Virgo hanging above Stone. The dipping of
the lane showed the Kentish marshes down in the valley, with the hills
of Kent beyond them, twinkling with lights. The band lifted the strains
of Hearts of Oak and Cheer, Boys, Cheer above the thud of marching feet,
or occasionally drifted into sentiment with Love's Pilgrim—while every
now and then, regardless of what was being played, two hundred throats
would bray:
"Soles, plaice, and dabs,
Rate, skate, and crabs.
God save the Queen!"
It was about nine o'clock when they came to Thornsdale, down on the
Rother levels; the moon had risen and the marsh was smeethed in white.
The air was thick with a strong-scented miasma, and beside the dykes
long lines of willows faded into the mist. Here another orgy was
started, in grotesque contrast with the pallid sleep of water. The gate
that barred the Kent road was torn down, the bonfire prepared, the dance
begun.
The mists became patched with leaping shadows, and a dull crimson wove
itself into the prevailing whiteness. Flaming twigs and sparks hissed
into the dykes, rolls of acrid tar-smoke spread like a pall over the
river and the Highnock Sewer, under which their waters were spotted with
fire. The ground was soon pulped and poached with the jigging feet, and
mud and water spurted into the dancers' faces.
It was all rather ugly and ridiculous, and as before at Mockbeggar, the
crowd began to straggle. This time there was no public-house to swallow
up strays, but the marsh spread far and wide, a Land of Promise for
lovers, who began to slink off two by two into the mists. Some who were
not lovers formed themselves into noisy groups, and bumped about the
lanes—waking the farmers' wives from Bosney to Marsh Quarter.
Rose felt Handshut's arm clinging more tenderly about her, and she knew
that he wanted to lead her away from the noise and glare, to the
coolness and loneliness of the waterside. She wanted to go—her head
ached, her nostrils tingled, and her eyes were sore with the fumes of
tar, her ears wearied with the din.
"Let's go home," she said faintly—"it's getting late."
"We can go back by Corkwood across the marshes. It'll be quicker, and we
shan't have no crowd spanneling round."
They elbowed their way into the open, and soon the noise had died into a
subdued roar, not so loud as the sigh of the reeds, while the bonfire
showed only as a crimson stain on the eastward piling fogs.
In time the contrast of silence grew quite painful. It ached. Only the
sough of the wind in the reeds troubled it—the feet of Rose and
Handshut were noiseless on the grass, they breathed inaudibly, only the
breath of the watching night was heard.
They skirted the Corkwood dyke, from which rose the stupefying, sodden,
almost flavorous, smell of dying reeds—a waterfowl suddenly croaked
among them, and another answered her with a wail from beyond Ethnam. The
willows were shimmering silver dreams, bathed in the light of the moon
which hung above the Fivewatering and had washed nearly all the stars
out of the sky—only Sirius hung like a dim lamp over Great Knell, while
Lyra was faint above Reedbed in the north.
Rose walked half leaning against Handshut. She felt a very little feeble
thing in the power of that great amorous night. The warm breath of the
wind in her hair, the caress of moonlight on her eyes, the throbbing,
miasmic, night-sweet scents of water and grass, the hush, the great
sleep ... all tore at her heart, all weakened her with their huge soft
strength, all crushed with their languors the poor resistance of her
will.
The tears began to roll down her cheeks, they shone on her face in the
moonlight—they fell quite fast as she walked on gripped against her
lover's heart. She was leaning more and more heavily against him, for
her strength was ebbing fast—oh, if he would only speak!—she could not
walk much further, and yet she dared not rest beside him on that haunted
ground.
At last they came to where the high land rose out of the levels like a
shore out of the sea, with a lick of road on it, winding up to
Peasmarsh. It was here that Rose's uncertain strength failed her, she
lurched against Handshut, and still encircled by his arms slid to the
grass.
They were in a huge meadow, sloping upwards to mysterious, night-wrapped
hedges. The moonlight still trembled over the marsh, kindling sudden
streaks of water, steeping fogs, silvering pollards and reeds. One could
distinctly see the little houses on the Kent side of the Rother, Ethnam,
and Lossenham, and Lambstand, some with lights blinking from them,
others just black patches on the moon-grey country. Rose looked out
towards them, and tried to picture in each a hearth beside which a
husband and wife sat united ... then suddenly they were blotted out, as
Handshut's face loomed dark between her and them, and his lips slowly
fastened on her own.
For a moment she yielded to the kiss, then suddenly tore herself away.
"Rose ..."
"Let me go—I can't."
"Rose, why shud you pretend? You döan't love the mäaster, and you do
love me. Why shudn't we be happy together?"
"We—I can't."
"Why?—I love you, and you love me. Come away wud me—you shan't have a
hard life——"
"—It's not that."
"Wot is it then?"
"It's—oh, I can't—I'm his wife."
She pushed him from her as he tried to take her in his arms again, and
stumbled to her feet.
"It's late—I—I must go home."
"Rose, you queer me."
He had risen too, and stood before her in mingled pain and surprise. He
thought her resistance mere coyness, and suddenly flung his arms round
her as she stood.
She began to cry.
"No, no—don't be so cruel! Let me go!—I'm his wife."
The walk home was dreary, for Rose and Handshut misunderstood each
other, and yet loved each other too. She was silent, almost shamefaced,
and he was a little disgusted with her—he felt that she had misled him,
and in his soreness added "willingly."
They scarcely spoke, and the night spread round them its web of
pondering silence. Aldebaran guttered above Kent, and the blurred patch
of the Pleiades hung over the curded fogs that hid the Rother. There was
no wind, but every now and then the grass rippled and the leaves
fluttered, while a low hissing sound went through the trees. Sometimes
from the distance came the shouts of some revellers still at large,
echoing weirdly over the moon-steeped fields, and divinely purged by
space and night.
Sobs were still thick in Rose's throat, when they came to Handshut's
cottage, a little tumble-down place, shaped like a rabbit's head. She
stopped.
"Don't come any further."
"Why?"
"It would be better if I wasn't seen with you."
He looked at her white face.
"You're frighted."
"No."
"Yes—and I'm coming wud you, surelye."
"I should be frightened if you came."
She managed to persuade him to go his different way—though the actual
moment of their parting was always a blur in her memory. Afterwards she
could not remember if they had kissed, touched hands, or parted without
a word. Her throat was still full of sobs when she came to Odiam; she
was panting, too, for she had run all the way—she did not know why.
The house was swimming in the light of the western moon. Its strange
curves and bulges, its kiln-shaped ends, and great waving sprawl of roof
all shone in a white glassy brilliance, which was somehow akin to peace.
There was a soft flutter of wind in the orchard and in the sentinel
poplars, while now and then came that distant night-purged scrap of
song:
"Soles, plaice, and dabs,
Rate, skate, and crabs.
God save the Queen!"
Rose wondered uneasily what time it was. Surely it could not be very
late, and yet the house was shut up and the windows dark.
She gently rattled the door-handle. There was no denying it—the house
was locked up. It must be later than she thought—that walk on the
Rother levels must have been longer than it had seemed to her thirsty
love. A thrill of fear went through her. She hoped Reuben would not be
angry. She was his dutiful wife.
She stood hesitating on the doorstep. Should she knock? Then a terrible
thought struck her. Reuben must have meant to lock her out. Otherwise he
would have sat up for her, however late she had been. She started
trembling all over, and felt her skin grow damp.
She began to knock, first softly, then more desperately. She must get
in. Nothing was to be heard except her own despairing din—the house
seemed plunged in sleep. Rose's fear grew, spread black bat's wings,
and darkened all her thoughts—for she knew that someone must have heard
her, she could not make all this racket quite unheard.
What could she do? Caro slept at the back of the house, and it struck
her that she had better go round, and throw up some earth at her window.
Perhaps Caro would let her in. She stepped back from the door, and was
just turning the corner of the house when a window suddenly shot open
above her, and Reuben's tousled head looked out.
"There's no use your trying to git in."
Rose gave a faint scream. In the moonlight her husband's face looked
distorted, while his voice came thick and unnatural.
"Ben!"
"Go away. Go away to where you've come from. I shan't let you in."
"You can't keep me out here. It isn't my fault I'm late—and I'm not so
very late, either."
"It's one o'clock o' the marnun."
She felt her heart grow sick. If she had been happy for four hours, why,
in God's name, had they not passed like four hours instead of like four
minutes?
"Ben, I swear I didn't know. I was up to no harm, I promise you. Please,
please—oh please let me in!"
"Not I—at one o'clock o' the marnun—after you've bin all night wud
a——"
"Ben, I swear I'm your true wife."
She fell against the wall, and her hair, disordered by embraces,
suddenly streamed over her shoulders. The sight of it made Reuben wild.
"Git off—before I täake my gun and shoot you."
"Oh, Ben!..."
"Höald your false tongue. You're no wife o' mine from this day forrard.
I wöan't be cuckolded in my own house."
His face was swollen, his eyes rolled—he looked almost as if he had
been drinking.
"Ben, don't drive me away. I've been true to you, indeed I have, and
Handshut's going to-morrow. Let me in—please let me in. I swear I've
been true."
"I want none o' your lying swears—at one o'clock o' the marnun. Go back
to the man you've come from—he'll believe you easier nor I."
"Ben, I'm your wife."
"I tell you, you're no wife of mine. I'm shut of you—you false, fair,
lying, scarlet woman. You needn't cry and weep, nuther—none 'ull say as
Ben Backfield wur a soft man fur woman's tears."
He shut the window with a slam. For some moments Rose stood leaning
against the wall, her sobs shaking her. Then, still sobbing, she turned
and walked away.
She walked slowly down the drive till she came to the little path that
led across the fields to Handshut's cottage. A light gleamed from the
window, and she crept towards it through tall moon-smudged grass—while
from the distance came for the last time:
"Soles, plaice, and dabs,
Rate, skate, and crabs.
God save the Queen!"
A glassy yellow broke into the sky like a curse. It shone on Reuben's
eyes, and he opened them. They were pink and puffed round the rims, and
the whites were shot with little blood-vessels. His cheeks were yellow,
and round his mouth was an odd greyish tinge. He had lain dressed on his
bed, and was surprised to find that he had slept. But the sleep had
brought no refreshment—there was a bad taste in his mouth, and his
tongue felt rough and thick.
He sat up on the tumbled bed and looked round him. Rose's nightgown was
folded on her pillow, and over a chair lay a pair of the thin useless
stockings he had often scolded her for wearing. A drawer was open, and
from it came the soft perfume that adhered to everything she put on. He
suddenly sprang out of bed and shut it with a kick.
"Durn her!" he said, and then two sobs tore their way painfully up his
throat, shaking his whole body.
An hour later he went down. He had washed and tidied himself, none the
less he disconcerted the household. Caro had lain awake all night,
partly from misery, partly because of the baby, which she had been
obliged to take charge of in the mother's absence. She had brought it
down into the kitchen with her, and it had lain kicking in its cradle
while she prepared the breakfast. She was worn out already after her
sleepless night, and could not prevent the tears from trickling down her
face as she cut bread for the meal.
"Stop that!" said Reuben roughly.
Except for this, he did not speak—nor after a few attempts on the
former's part did Pete and Caro. They sat and gulped down their food in
silence. Even Harry seemed to realise the general unrest. He would not
sit at table, but wandered aimlessly up and down the room, murmuring, as
was now his habit in times of domestic upheaval, "Another wedding—deary
me! We're always having weddings in this house."
Then the baby began to howl because it was hungry. Rose had nursed it
herself, and its wants had not occurred to the unhappy Caro or her
father. There was delay and confusion while a bottle was fetched and
milk prepared, and then—to crown all—cow's milk upset it, and it was
sick. But Reuben escaped this final tragedy—he had left the room after
a few mouthfuls, and gone to Handshut's cottage.
He could not restrain himself any longer. He must see Rose, and vent on
her all the miserable rage with which his heart was seething. He longed
to strike her—he longed to beat her, for the wanton that she was. And
he longed to clasp her in his arms and weep on her breast and caress
her, for the woman that she was.
But the cottage was shut. With its red-rotting roof between two tall
chimneys it looked exactly like a rabbit's head between its ears; the
windows were blind, though it was past seven o'clock, and though Reuben
knocked at the door loudly, there was no one to be seen. He prowled once
or twice round the house, fumbling handles and window-latches, but there
was no way of getting in. He listened, but he could not hear a sound. He
pictured Rose and Handshut in each other's arms, laughing at him in his
wretchedness and their bliss—and all the time he wanted the woman's
blood more than the man's.
At last he wandered desperately away, treading the furrows of his new
ground on Boarzell, reckless that he trod the young seed harrowed into
them. In that black moment even his winter crops were nothing to him. He
saw, thought of, realised only one thing—and that was Rose, the false,
the gay, the wanton, and the beautiful—oh the beautiful!—laughing at
him from another man's arms. He could see her laughing, see just how her
lips parted, just how her teeth shone—those little teeth, so regular
except for the pointed canines—just how the dimples came at the corners
of her mouth, those dear little hollows which he had dug with his
kisses....
He ground his heel into the soft harrowed earth, and it cast up its
smell into his nostrils unheeded. But the day of Boarzell was
coming—its rival had been cleared out of the field, and the great hump
with its knob of firs seemed to be lying in wait, till the man had
pulled himself out of the pit of a false woman's love and given himself
back to it, the strong, the faithful enemy.
About an hour later Reuben was down again at Handshut's cottage, but
this time a change had worked itself. The door hung wide open—and the
place was empty. He went through the two miserable little rooms, but
there was no one, and nowhere for anybody to hide. The remains of a meal
of bread and tea were on the table, and a fire of sticks was dying on
the hearth. The lovers had flown—to laugh at him from a safe distance.
All the rest of the day he prowled aimlessly about his land. His men
were afraid, for it was the first time they had seen him spend a day
without work. He touched neither spade nor pitchfork, he gave no orders,
just wandered restlessly about the fields and barns. He ate no supper,
but locked himself into his room, while the baby's thin wail rose
through the beams of the kitchen ceiling, and little David cried
fractiously for "mother."
The next day Caro, haggard after another night made sleepless by her
charges, knocked at his door. He had not come down to breakfast, and at
eight o'clock the postman had brought a letter.
"It's from Rose," said Caro timidly.
"To me?"
"No, to me."
"Read it."
Caro read it. Rose was in London, but left that day for Liverpool.
Handshut had saved a little money, and they were going to Canada. "I
don't ask Ben to forgive me, for I know he never will."
"She's right there," said Reuben grimly.
Caro stood before him, creasing the letter nervously. Her father's wrath
broke upon her, for want of his proper victim.
"Git out, can't yer—wot are you dawdling here for? You women are all
the same—you'd be as bad as her if you cud only git a man."
Caro shrank from the jibe as if from a blow, and Reuben laughed
brutally. He had made one woman suffer anyway.
Of course the neighbourhood gloated; and the rustic convention was set
aside in Rose's favour, and all the shame of her elopement heaped on
Reuben.
"No wäonder as she cudn't stick to him—hard, queer chap as he be."
"And thirty year older nor she, besides."
"Young Handshut wur a präaper lad, and valiant. I äun't surprised as
she'd rather have un wudout a penny than old Ben wud all his gold."
"And he äun't got much o' that now, nuther. They say as he'll be bust by
next fall."
Heads were shaken in triumphant commiseration, and the stones which
according to all decent tradition should have been flung at Rose,
hurtled round her husband instead.
Far away at Cheat Land, Alice Jury watched them fall—Alice Jury five
years older than when she had struggled with Boarzell for Reuben before
he married Rose. Her parents thought he had treated her badly, even
though they did not know of the evening when she had humbled herself to
plead for her happiness and his. She remembered that moment uneasily—it
hurt her pride. But she could not regret having used her most desperate
effort to win him, and she felt sure that he had understood her motive
and realised that it was for him as well as for her that she had spoken.
Now, when she heard of his catastrophe, she wondered if he would come
back. Did men come back?—and if they did, was she the type of woman
they came back to? Perhaps she was too quick, too antagonistic. She told
herself miserably that a softer woman could have saved Reuben, and yet,
paradoxically, a softer woman would not have wished to do so.
She had seen very little of him or of Rose since their marriage. Rose
and she had never been friends, and Reuben she knew was shy of her. He
had been angry with her too, because she had not carried her aching
heart on her sleeve. Outwardly she had worn no badge of sorrow—she was
just as quick, just as combative, just as vivaciously intellectual as
she had always been. Though she knew that she had lost him through these
very characteristics, with which she had also attracted him, she made no
effort to force herself into a different mould. She refused to regret
anything, to be ashamed of anything, to change anything. If he came back
he should find the same woman as he had left.
She felt that he would come—he would return to her in the reaction that
swung him from Rose. But would she be able to keep him? She did not feel
so sure of that—for that did not depend on her or on him, but on that
mysterious force outside themselves with which they had both already
struggled in vain.
Reuben scarcely knew what brought him to Cheat Land. It was about a week
after the blow fell that he found himself treading the once familiar
lane, lifting the latch of the garden gate, and knocking at the green
house-door. Nothing had changed, except to fade a little and show some
signs of wear and tear. Alice herself had not changed, nor had she
faded, though her cheeks might have fallen in a trifle and a few lines
traced themselves round her mouth.
"Welcome," she said, and laughed.
He took her hand, and forgot to be angry because she had laughed.
"Come in, and we'll have a talk. Father's out, and mother's upstairs."
She led the way into the queer little kitchen, which was also unchanged
except for the fading of the curtains, and the introduction of one or
two new books on the shelves. Alice pulled forward his old chair, and
sat down opposite him on the settle. She wore one of her long
wrapper-pinafores, this time of a warm clay-colour, which seemed to put
a glow into her cheeks.
"Well, Alice," he said huskily.
"Well, Reuben, I'm glad to see you."
"You've heard?"
She nodded. Then she said gently:
"Poor Rose."
Reuben flushed.
"One o' my victims, eh?"
"Well, I knew you'd rather I said that than 'poor Reuben.'"
"Reckon I would. I remember as how you wur always trying to make out as
my lazy good-fur-naun sons wur my victims, and as how I'd sacrificed
them all to my farm; now I reckon you're trying to do the same wud
Rose."
"Where is she?"
"I dunno. Somewheres between here and Canada. May she rot there lik a
sheep on its back, and her man too. Now say 'poor Rose.'"
He turned on her almost fiercely, his lips curled back from his teeth in
a sneer.
"If you speak like that I'll say 'poor Reuben.'"
"Well, say it—you wöan't be far wrong. Wot sort o' chap am I to have
pride? My farm's ruined, my wife's run away, my children have left
me—wot right have I to be proud?"
"Because, though all those things have happened, you're holding your
head up still."
"But I äun't—yesterday I wur fair crying and sobbing in front of all
the children. In the kitchen, it wur—after supper—I put down my head
on the table, and——"
"Hush, I don't want to hear any more. I can guess what you must have
suffered. I expect you miss Rose."
"I do—justabout."
"So should I in your place."
"She wur a beautiful woman, Alice."
Alice nodded.
"Oh, and her liddle dentical ways!"
Alice nodded again.
"You döan't mind me talking to you of her?"
"No, of course not."
"She wur the beautifullest I've known, and gay, and sweet, and a woman
to love. But she deceived me. I married her expecting money, and there
wur none—I married her fur her body, and she's given it to another."
"Well, you're not a hypocrite, anyway. You don't pretend you married her
for any but the lowest motives."
"Wot should I have married her fur, then?"
"Some people marry for love."
"Love I—no. I've loved but one woman."
"Me!"
They had both said more than they intended, and suddenly realised it.
Though the self-betrayal meant most to Alice, she was the first to
recover a steady voice.
"But that does not matter now," she said calmly.
He leaned suddenly forward and took her hand.
"Alice."
Her hand lay in his, a very small thing, and her head bent towards it.
She did not want him to see her cheeks flush and her eyes fill at this
his first caress.
"Alice—how did you know?"
"I'm not a fool."
"I guessed too."
"Of course you did. I—I gave myself away. I pleaded with you."
He raised her hand slowly to his lips.
"I forgot you all the time I wur wud Rose," he remarked naively.
"You needn't tell me that."
"But now I—well, it's too late anyhow. I'm a married man, no matter
that my wife's in Canada. Of course, I could git a divorce—but I
wöan't."
"No—it would cost money."
"More than I could spare."
Alice laughed.
"I never looked upon Rose as my rival—I always knew my real rival was
your farm, and though now Rose is out of the way, that still stands
between us."
Reuben was silent. He sat leaning forward in his chair, holding Alice's
hand. Then he abruptly rose to his feet.
"Well, I must be going. It's done me good, our talk. Not that you've
said anything particular comforting, but then you never did. It's good
anyway to sit wud a woman wot's not lik a fat stroked cat—not a thin
kicked one, nuther," he added viciously, remembering Caro. "You're lik a
liddle tit-bird, Alice. I love you. But I'm not sorry I didn't marry
you, for you'd have busted me same as Rose, only in a different way."
"Most likely."
She laughed again. He stooped forward and kissed her forehead, and the
laugh died on her lips.
The rest of that day Reuben was a little happier. He felt comforted and
stimulated, life was not so leaden. In the evening he worked a little in
the hop-gardens. They were almost cleared now, and the smoke of the
drying furnaces was streaming through the cowls of the oasts, shedding
into the dusk a drowsy, malt-sweetened perfume. When the moon hung like
a yellow splinter above Iden Wood, the pickers went home, and Reuben
turned in to his supper, which for the first time since Rose's flight he
ate with hearty pleasure.
He could not tell exactly what it was that had invigorated him, and
jerked him out of his despair. It would seem as if Alice's presence
alone had tonic qualities. Perhaps the secret lay in her
unchangeableness. He had gone back to her after an absence of five
years, and found her just the same, still loving him, still fighting
him, the old Alice. Everything else had changed—his farm which in the
former days had been the thriving envy of the countryside was now little
better than a ruin, his home life had been turned inside out, but in the
woman over at Cheat Land nothing had altered, love and strength and
faithfulness still flourished in her. It was as if a man stumbling in
darkness should suddenly hear a loved, familiar voice say "Here I am."
The situation summed itself up in three words—She was there; and his
heart added—"for me to take if I choose."
In spite of his revived spirits he could not sleep, but he went up early
to his room, for he wanted to think. During the evening the idea had
gained on him that he could still have Alice if he wanted her, and with
the idea had grown the sensation that he wanted her with all his heart.
His return had been complete. All that she had ever had and lost of
empire had re-established itself during that hour at Cheat Land. He
wanted her as he had wanted her before he met Rose, but with a renewed
intensity, for he was no longer mystified by his desire. He no longer
asked himself how he could possibly love "a liddle stick of a woman like
her," for he saw how utterly love-worthy she was and had always been.
For the first time he saw as his, if only he would take it, a great
woman's faithful love. This love of Alice Jury's had nothing akin to
Naomi's poor little fluttering passion, or to Rose's fascination, half
appetite, half game. Someone loved him truly, strongly, purely, deeply,
with a fire that could be extinguished only by death or—he realised in
a dim way—her own will. The question was, should he pay the price this
love demanded, take it to himself at the cost of the ambitions that had
fed his life for forty years?
He sat down by the open window, leaning his elbow on the sill. The night
was as soft as honey, and dark as a bowl of wine. The stars were
scattered and dim, the moon had dipped into a belt of fogs, the fields
were bloomed with darkness and sleep. The ridge of Boarzell was just
visible under the Dog Star—the lump of firs stood motionless, for the
wind had dropped, and not even a whisper from the orchard proclaimed its
sleeping place.
Reuben's eyes swept the dim outlines of his farm—the yard, the barns,
the oasts, the fields beyond, up to where his boundaries scarred the
waste. It was all blurred and blanketed in the darkness, but his mind
could see it in every detail. He saw the cow-stable empty except for the
six cheap Suffolks which just supplied his household and one or two
gentry with milk; he saw doors split and unhinged that he could not
afford to mend, gaping roofs that he could not afford to retile, while
the martins stole his thatch for their autumn broods; he saw his
oat-harvest mostly straw, his hop-harvest gathered at a loss, his hay
spoiled with sorrel; he saw himself short of labour, one man turned off,
another run away; and he saw all the flints and shards and lime of
Boarzell breaking his plough, choking his winter wheat, while on the
lower ground runnels of clay made his corn sedgy, and everywhere the
tough, wiry fibres of the gorse drank all the little there was of
goodness out of the ground and scattered it from its blossoms in useless
fragrance.
This was what his forty years of struggle had brought him to. He saw
himself in the midst of a huge ambitious ruin. He had failed, his hopes
were blighted—what could he expect to pull out of this wreck. It would
be far better and wiser if he gave up the dreary uncertain battle, and
took the sure rest at hand. If he sold some of the more fruitful part of
his land he would be able to divorce Rose, then he could marry Alice and
live with her a quiet, shorn, unambitious life. No one would buy the new
ground on Boarzell, but he could easily sell the low fields by the
Glotten brook; that would leave him with twenty or thirty acres of
fairly good land round the farm, and all his useless encroachments on
Boarzell which he would allow to relapse into their former state. He
would have enough to live upon, to support his children and his delicate
wife—he would be able to take no risks and make no ventures, but he
would be comfortable.
His old father's words came back to him—"I've no ambitions, so I'm a
happy man. I döan't want nothing I haven't got, so I haven't got nothing
I döan't want." Perhaps his father had been right. After all, what had
he, Reuben, got by being ambitious? Comfort, peace, home-life, wife,
children, were all so many bitter words to him, and his great plans
themselves had crumbled into failure—he had lost everything to gain
nothing.
Far better give up the struggle while there was the chance of an
honourable retreat. He realised that he was at the turning point—a step
further along his old course and he would lose Alice, a step along the
road she pointed, and he would lose Boarzell. After all he had not won
Boarzell, most likely never would win it—if he persisted on his old
ways they would probably only lead him to ruin, and later there might be
no Alice to turn to. If he renounced her now, he would be definitely
pledging himself to Boarzell and all his soaring, tottering schemes—he
would not be able to "come back" a second time.
If he lost Alice now he might be losing her for a dream, a bubble, a
will-o'-the-wisp. Surely he would be wise to pull what he could out of
the wreck, take her, and forget all else. Only a fool would turn away
from her now, and press forward. In the old days it had been different,
he had been successful then—now he was a failure, and saw his chance to
fail honourably. Better take it before it was too late.
His mind painted him a picture it had never dared paint before—the
comfortable red house basking in sunshine, with a garden full of
flowers, a cow or two at pasture in the meadow, the little hop-field his
only tilth—his dear frail wife sitting in the porch, his children
playing at her feet or reading at her knee—perhaps they were hers too,
perhaps they were not. He saw himself contented, growing stout, wanting
nothing he hadn't got, so having nothing he didn't want ... he was
leaning over her chair, and gazing away into the southern distance where
Boarzell lay against the sky, all patched with heather and thorns, all
golden with gorse, unirrigated, uncultivated, without furrow or
fence....
... A shudder passed through Reuben, a long shudder of his flesh, for in
at the open window had drifted the scent of the gorse on Boarzell. It
came on no wind, the night was windless as before. It just seemed to
creep to him over the fields, to hang on the air like a reproach. It was
the scent of peaches and apricots, of sunshine caught and distilled. He
leaned forward out of the window, and thought he could see the glimmer
of the gorse-clumps under the stars.
The edge of Boarzell was outlined black against the faintly paler
sky—he traced it from the woods in which it rose, up to its crest of
firs, then down into the woods again. Once more it lay between him and
the soft desires of his weakness; as long ago at Cheat Land, it called
him back to his allegiance like a love forsaken. In the black quiet it
lay hullish like some beast—but it was more than a beast to-night. It
was like the gorse on its heights, delicate perfume as well as
murderous fibre, sweetness as well as ferocity. The scent, impregnating
the motionless air, seemed to remind him that Boarzell was his love as
well as his enemy—more, far more to him than Alice.
His ambition flared up like a damped furnace, and he suddenly saw
himself a coward ever to have thought of rest. Boarzell was more to him
than any woman in the world. For the sake of one weak woman he was not
going to sacrifice all his hopes and dreams and enterprises, the great
love of his life.
Boarzell, not Alice, should be his. He muttered the words aloud as he
strained his eyes into the darkness, tracing the beloved outline. He
despised himself for having wavered even in thought. Through blood and
tears—others' and his own—he would wade to Boarzell, and conquer it at
last. From that night all would be changed, the past should be thrust
behind him, he would pull himself together, make himself a man. Alice
must go where everything else had gone—mother, wife, children, friends,
and love. Thank God! Boarzell was worth more to him than all these.
Leaning out of the window, he breathed in the scent of his slumbering
land. His lips parted, his eyes brightened, the lines of care and age
grew softer on his face. With his darling ambition, he seemed to recover
his youth—once more he felt the blood glowing in his veins, while zeal
and adventure throbbed together in his heart. He had conquered the
softer mood, and banished the sweet unworthy, dreams for ever.
Alice—who had nearly vanquished him—should go the way of all enemies.
And the last enemy to be destroyed is Love.