STORIES OF YOUTH — A JOKE — AFTER THE THEATRE — VOLODIA — A NAUGHTY BOY — BLISS — TWO BEAUTIFUL GIRLS — I — II
77
79
It was noon of a bright winter’s day. The air was
crisp with frost, and Nadia, who was walking beside
me, found her curls and the delicate down on her
upper lip silvered with her own breath. We stood at
the summit of a high hill. The ground fell away at
our feet in a steep incline which reflected the sun’s
rays like a mirror. Near us lay a little sled brightly
upholstered with red.
“Let us coast down, Nadia!” I begged. “Just once!
I promise you nothing will happen.”
But Nadia was timid. The long slope, from where
her little overshoes were planted to the foot of the ice-clad
hill, looked to her like the wall of a terrible, yawning
chasm. Her heart stopped beating, and she held
her breath as she gazed into that abyss while I urged
her to take her seat on the sled. What might not
happen were she to risk a flight over that precipice!
She would die, she would go mad!
“Come, I implore you!” I urged her again. “Don’t
be afraid! It is cowardly to fear, to be timid.”
At last Nadia consented to go, but I could see from
her face that she did so, she thought, at the peril of
80her life. I seated her, all pale and trembling, in the
little sled, put my arm around her, and together we
plunged into the abyss.
The sled flew like a shot out of a gun. The riven
wind lashed our faces; it howled and whistled in our
ears, and plucked furiously at us, trying to wrench our
heads from our shoulders; its pressure stifled us; we
felt as if the devil himself had seized us in his talons,
and were snatching us with a shriek down into the infernal
regions. The objects on either hand melted into
a long and madly flying streak. Another second, and
it seemed we must be lost!
“I love you, Nadia!” I whispered.
And now the sled began to slacken its pace, the
howling of the wind and the swish of the runners
sounded less terrible, we breathed again, and found
ourselves at the foot of the mountain at last. Nadia,
more dead than alive, was breathless and pale. I
helped her to her feet.
“Not for anything in the world would I do that
again!” she said, gazing at me with wide, terror-stricken
eyes. “Not for anything on earth. I nearly
died!”
In a few minutes, however, she was herself again,
and already her inquiring eyes were asking the question
of mine:
“Had I really uttered those four words, or had she
only fancied she heard them in the tumult of the
wind?”
81I stood beside her smoking a cigarette and looking
attentively at my glove.
She took my arm and we strolled about for a long
time at the foot of the hill. It was obvious that the
riddle gave her no peace. Had I spoken those words
or not? It was for her a question of pride, of honour,
of happiness, of life itself, a very important question,
the most important one in the whole world. Nadia
looked at me now impatiently, now sorrowfully, now
searchingly; she answered my questions at random
and waited for me to speak. Oh, what a pretty play
of expression flitted across her sweet face! I saw that
she was struggling with herself; she longed to say
something, to ask some question, but the words would
not come; she was terrified and embarrassed and
happy.
“Let me tell you something,” she said, without
looking at me.
“What?” I asked.
“Let us—let us slide down the hill again!”
We mounted the steps that led to the top of the hill.
Once more I seated Nadia, pale and trembling, in the
little sled, once more we plunged into that terrible
abyss; once more the wind howled, and the runners
hissed, and once more, at the wildest and most tumultuous
moment of our descent, I whispered:
“I love you, Nadia!”
When the sleigh had come to a standstill, Nadia
threw a backward look at the hill down which we had
82just sped, and then gazed for a long time into my face,
listening to the calm, even tones of my voice. Every
inch of her, even her muff and her hood, every line of
her little frame expressed the utmost uncertainty. On
her face was written the question:
“What can it have been? Who spoke those words?
Was it he, or was it only my fancy?”
The uncertainty of it was troubling her, and her
patience was becoming exhausted. The poor girl had
stopped answering my questions, she was pouting and
ready to cry.
“Had we not better go home?” I asked.
“I—I love coasting!” she answered with a blush.
“Shall we not slide down once more?”
She “loved” coasting, and yet, as she took her seat
on the sled, she was as trembling and pale as before and
scarcely could breathe for terror!
We coasted down for the third time and I saw her
watching my face and following the movements of my
lips with her eyes. But I put my handkerchief to my
mouth and coughed, and when we were half-way down
I managed to say:
“I love you, Nadia!”
So the riddle remained unsolved! Nadia was left
pensive and silent. I escorted her home, and as she
walked she shortened her steps and tried to go slowly,
waiting for me to say those words. I was aware of the
struggle going on in her breast, and of how she was
forcing herself not to exclaim:
83“The wind could not have said those words! I
don’t want to think that it said them!”
Next day I received the following note:
“If you are going coasting, to-day, call for me. N.”
Thenceforth Nadia and I went coasting every day,
and each time that we sped down the hill on our little
sled I whispered the words:
“I love you, Nadia!”
Nadia soon grew to crave this phrase as some people
crave morphine or wine. She could no longer live
without hearing it! Though to fly down the hill was
as terrible to her as ever, danger and fear lent a
strange fascination to those words of love, words which
remained a riddle to torture her heart. Both the wind
and I were suspected; which of us two was confessing
our love for her now seemed not to matter; let the
draught but be hers, and she cared not for the goblet
that held it!
One day, at noon, I went to our hill alone. There
I perceived Nadia. She approached the hill, seeking
me with her eyes, and at last I saw her timidly mounting
the steps that led to the summit. Oh, how fearful,
how terrifying she found it to make that journey
alone! Her face was as white as the snow, and she
shook as if she were going to her doom, but up she
climbed, firmly, without one backward look. Clearly
she had determined to discover once for all whether
those wondrously sweet words would reach her ears if
I were not there. I saw her seat herself on the sled
84with a pale face and lips parted with horror, saw her
shut her eyes and push off, bidding farewell for ever
to this world. “zzzzzzz!” hissed the runners. What
did she hear? I know not—I only saw her rise tired
and trembling from the sled, and it was clear from her
expression that she could not herself have said what
she had heard; on her downward rush terror had
robbed her of the power of distinguishing the sounds
that came to her ears.
And now, with March, came the spring. The sun’s
rays grew warmer and brighter. Our snowy hillside
grew darker and duller, and the ice crust finally melted
away. Our coasting came to an end.
Nowhere could poor Nadia now hear the beautiful
words, for there was no one to say them; the wind was
silent and I was preparing to go to St. Petersburg for a
long time, perhaps for ever.
One evening, two days before my departure, I sat
in the twilight in a little garden separated from the
garden where Nadia lived by a high fence surmounted
by iron spikes. It was cold and the snow was still on
the ground, the trees were lifeless, but the scent of
spring was in the air, and the rooks were cawing noisily
as they settled themselves for the night. I approached
the fence, and for a long time peered through a chink
in the boards. I saw Nadia come out of the house
and stand on the door-step, gazing with anguish and
longing at the sky. The spring wind was blowing
directly into her pale, sorrowful face. It reminded
85her of the wind that had howled for us on the hillside
when she had heard those four words, and with that
recollection her face grew very sad indeed, and the
tears rolled down her cheeks. The poor child held
out her arms as if to implore the wind to bring those
words to her ears once more. And I, waiting for a
gust to carry them to her, said softly:
“I love you, Nadia!”
Heavens, what an effect my words had on Nadia!
She cried out and stretched forth her arms to the wind,
blissful, radiant, beautiful....
And I went to pack up my things. All this happened
a long time ago. Nadia married, whether for
love or not matters little. Her husband is an official
of the nobility, and she now has three children. But
she has not forgotten how we coasted together and
how the wind whispered to her:
“I love you, Nadia!”
That memory is for her the happiest, the most
touching, the most beautiful one of her life.
But as for me, now that I have grown older, I can
no longer understand why I said those words and why
I jested with Nadia.
86
When Nadia Zelenia came home with her mother
from the theatre, where they had been to see
“Evgeni Onegin,” and found herself in her own room
once more, she took off her dress, loosened her hair, and
hastened to sit down at her desk in her petticoat
and little white bodice, to write a letter in the style of
Tatiana.
“I love you,” she wrote, “but you do not, no, you
do not love me!”
As she wrote this she began to laugh.
She was only sixteen and had never been in love in
her life. She knew that the officer Gorni and the student
Gruzdieff both loved her, but now, after seeing the
opera, she did not want to believe it. How attractive
it would be to be wretched and spurned! It was, somehow,
so poetical, so beautiful and touching, when one
loved while the other remained cold and indifferent!
Onegin was arresting because he did not love Tatiana,
but Tatiana was enchanting because she loved so ardently.
Had they both loved one another equally well
and been happy, might not both have been uninteresting?
“No longer think that you love me,” Nadia continued,
thinking of Gorni. “I cannot believe it. You
87are clever and serious and wise; you are a very talented
man, and may have a brilliant future before you.
I am a stupid, frivolous girl and you know yourself that
I should only hinder you in your life. You were attracted
to me, it is true; you thought you had found
your ideal in me, but that was a mistake. Already you
are asking yourself: why did I ever meet that girl?
Only your kindness prevents you from acknowledging
this.”
Nadia began to feel very sorry for herself, she burst
into tears and continued:
“If it were not so hard to leave mamma and my
brother, I should take the veil and go away to the
ends of the earth. Then you would be free to love
some one else.”
Nadia’s tears now prevented her from seeing what
she was writing; little rainbows were trembling across
the table, the floor, and the ceiling, and it seemed to
her as though she were looking through a prism. To
go on writing was impossible, so she threw herself back
in her chair and began thinking of Gorni.
Goodness, how attractive, how fascinating men
were! Nadia remembered the beautiful expression
that came over Gorni’s face when he was talking of
music. How humble, how engaging, how gentle he
then looked, and what efforts he made not to let his
voice betray the passion he felt! Emotion must be
concealed in society where haughtiness and chilly indifference
are the marks of good breeding and a good
88education, so he would try to hide his feelings, but in
vain. Every one knew that he loved music madly.
Endless arguments about music and the bold criticisms
of Philistines kept his nerves constantly on edge,
so that he appeared to be timid and silent. He played
the piano beautifully, and if he had not been an officer
he would certainly have become a musician.
The tears dried on Nadia’s cheeks. She remembered
that Gorni had proposed to her at a symphony
concert and had later repeated his proposal down-stairs
by the coat rack, where they were standing in
a strong draught.
“I am very glad that you have at last come to
know Gruzdieff,” she went on. “He is a very clever
man and you are sure to be friends. He came to see
us yesterday evening and stayed until two. We were
all in raptures over him, and I was sorry that you had
not come, too. He talked wonderfully.”
Nadia laid her arms on the table and rested her
head upon them, and her hair fell over the letter. She
remembered that Gruzdieff was in love with her, too,
and that he had as much right to her letter as Gorni
had. On second thoughts, would it not be better to
send it to him? A causeless happiness stirred in her
breast; at first it was tiny, and rolled gently about
there like a small rubber ball; then it grew larger and
fuller, and at last gushed up like a fountain. Nadia
forgot Gorni and Gruzdieff, and her thoughts grew
confused, but her rapture rose and rose, until it flowed
89from her breast into her hands and feet, and a fresh,
gentle breeze seemed to be fanning her head and stirring
her hair. Her shoulders shook with soft laughter;
the table shook, the lamp-chimney trembled, and
tears gushed from her eyes over the letter. She was
powerless to control her laughter, so she hastened to
think of something funny to prove that her mirth was
not groundless.
“Oh, what a ridiculous poodle!” she cried, feeling
a little faint from laughing. “What a ridiculous
poodle!”
She remembered that Gruzdieff had romped with
their poodle Maxim yesterday after tea, and had told
her a story of a very intelligent poodle, who chased a
jackdaw around a garden. The jackdaw had turned
round while the poodle was chasing him, and said:
“You scoundrel, you!”
Not knowing that it was a trained bird, the poodle
had been dreadfully dismayed; he had slunk away in
perplexity and had afterward begun to howl.
“Yes, I think I shall have to love Gruzdieff,” Nadia
decided, and she tore up the letter.
So she began to muse on the student, and on his love
and hers, but her thoughts were soon rambling, and she
found herself thinking of many things: of her mother,
of the street, of the pencil, and of the piano....
She thought of all this with pleasure, and everything
seemed to her to be beautiful and good, but her happiness
told her that this was not all, there was a great
90deal more to come in a little while, which would be
much better even than this. Spring would soon be
here, and then summer would come, and she would go
with her mother to Gorbiki, and there Gorni would
come on his holidays, and would take her walking in
the garden and make love to her.
Gruzdieff would come, too; he would play croquet
and bowls with her, and tell her funny and thrilling
stories. She longed for the garden, the darkness, the
clear sky, and the stars. Once more her shoulders
shook with laughter; the room seemed to her to be
filled with the scent of lavender, and a twig tapped
against the window-pane.
She went across to the bed, sat down, and, not
knowing what to do because of the great happiness
that filled her heart, she fixed her eyes on the little
icon that hung at the head of her bed, and murmured:
“Oh! Lord! Lord! Lord!”
91
One Sunday evening in spring Volodia, a plain,
shy, sickly lad of seventeen, was sitting, a prey
to melancholy, in a summer-house on the country place
of the Shumikins. His gloomy reflections flowed in
three different channels. In the first place, to-morrow,
Monday, he would have to take an examination in
mathematics. He knew that if he did not pass he
would be expelled from school, as he had already been
two years in the sixth grade. In the second place, his
pride suffered constant agony during his visits to the
Shumikins, who were rich people with aristocratic
pretensions. He imagined that Madame Shumikin
and her nieces looked down upon his mother and himself
as poor relations and dependents, and that they
made fun of his mother and did not respect her. He
had once overheard Madame Shumikin saying on the
terrace to her cousin Anna Feodorovna that she was
still pretending to be young, and that she never paid
her debts and had a great hankering after other people’s
shoes and cigarettes. Every day Volodia would implore
his mother not to go to the Shumikins’ again.
He painted for her the humiliating rôle which she
played among these people, he entreated her and spoke
92rudely to her, but the spoiled, frivolous woman, who
had wasted two fortunes in her day, her own and her
husband’s, yearned for high life and refused to understand
him, so that twice every week Volodia was
obliged to accompany her to the hated house.
In the third place, the lad could not free himself for
a moment from a certain strange, unpleasant feeling
that was entirely new to him. He imagined himself to
be in love with Anna Feodorovna, the cousin and guest
of Madame Shumikin. Anna Feodorovna was a talkative,
lively, laughing little lady of thirty; healthy,
rosy, and strong, with plump shoulders, a plump chin,
and an eternal smile on her thin lips. She was neither
pretty nor young. Volodia knew this perfectly well,
and for that very reason he was unable to refrain from
thinking of her, from watching her as she bent her
plump shoulders over her croquet mallet, or, as she,
after much laughter and running up and down-stairs,
sank all out of breath into a chair, and with half-closed
eyes pretended that she felt a tightness and strangling
across the chest. She was married, and her husband
was a staid architect who came down into the country
once a week, had a long sleep, and then returned to the
city. This feeling on Volodia’s part began with an
unreasoning hatred of the architect, and a sensation
of joy whenever he returned to the city.
And now, as he sat in the summer-house thinking
about to-morrow’s examination and his mother, whom
every one laughed at, he felt a great longing to see
93Nyuta, as the Shumikins called Anna Feodorovna,
and to hear her laughter and the rustling of her dress.
This longing did not resemble the pure, poetic love of
which he had read in novels, and of which he dreamed
every night as he went to bed. It was a strange and
incomprehensible thing, and he was ashamed and
afraid of it as of something wicked and wrong which
he hardly dared to acknowledge even to himself.
“This is not love,” he thought. “One does not fall
in love with a woman of thirty. It is simply a little
intrigue; yes, it is a little intrigue.”
Thinking about intrigues, he remembered his invincible
shyness, his lack of a moustache, his freckles,
his little eyes, and pictured himself standing beside
Nyuta. The contrast was impossible. So he hastened
to imagine himself handsome and bold and witty,
dressed in the latest fashion....
In the very heat of his imaginings, as he sat huddled
in a dark corner of the summer-house with his eyes
fixed on the ground, he heard light footsteps approaching.
Some one was hurrying down the garden
path. The footsteps ceased and a figure clad in white
gleamed in the doorway.
“Is any one there?” asked a woman’s voice.
Volodia recognised the voice and raised his head in
alarm.
“Who is there?” asked Nyuta, stepping into the
summer-house. “Ah, is it you, Volodia? What are
you doing in there? Brooding? How can you always
94be brooding and brooding? It’s enough to drive you
crazy!”
Volodia rose and looked at Nyuta in confusion.
She was on her way back from the bath-house; a
Turkish towel hung across her shoulders, and a few
damp locks of hair had escaped from under her white
silk kerchief and were clinging to her forehead. She
exhaled the cool, damp odour of the river, and the
scent of almond soap. The upper button of her blouse
was undone, so that her neck and throat were visible
to the lad.
“Why don’t you say something?” asked Nyuta,
looking Volodia up and down. “It is rude not to
answer when a lady speaks to you. What a stick-in-the-mud
you are, Volodia, always sitting and thinking
like some stodgy old philosopher, and never opening
your mouth! You have no vim in you, no fire! You
are horrid, really! A boy of your age ought to live,
and frisk, and chatter, and fall in love, and make love
to the ladies.”
Volodia stared at the towel which she was holding
in her plump, white hand and pondered.
“He won’t answer!” cried Nyuta in surprise. “This
is too strange, really! Listen to me, be a man! At
least smile! Bah! What a horrid dry-as-dust you
are!” she laughed. “Volodia, do you know what makes
you such a boor? It’s because you never make love.
Why don’t you do it? There are no girls here, I know,
but what is to prevent you from making love to a
95woman? Why don’t you make love to me, for instance?”
Volodia listened to her and rubbed his forehead in
intense, painful irresolution.
“It is only proud people who never speak and like
to be alone,” Nyuta continued, pulling his hand down
from his forehead. “You are proud, Volodia. Why
do you squint at me like that? Look me in the eye,
if you please. Now then, stick-in-the-mud!”
Volodia made up his mind to speak. In an effort to
smile he stuck out his lower lip, blinked his eyes, and
his hand again went to his head.
“I—I love you!” he exclaimed.
Nyuta raised her eyebrows in astonishment and
burst out laughing.
“What is this I hear?” she chanted as singers do
in an opera when they hear a terrible piece of news.
“What? What did you say? Say it again! Say it
again!”
“I—I love you!” Volodia repeated.
And involuntarily, without premeditation and not
realising what he was doing, he took a step toward
Nyuta and seized her arm above the wrist. Tears
started into his eyes, and the whole world seemed to
turn into a huge Turkish towel smelling of the river.
“Bravo, bravo!” he heard a laughing voice cry approvingly.
“Why don’t you say something? I want
to hear you speak! Now, then!”
Seeing that he was permitted to hold her arm,
96Volodia looked into Nyuta’s laughing face and awkwardly,
uneasily, put both arms around her waist,
bringing his wrists together behind her back. As he
held her thus, she put her hands behind her head showing
the dimples in her elbows, and, arranging her hair
under her kerchief, she said in a quiet voice:
“I want you to become bright and agreeable and
charming, Volodia, and this you can only accomplish
through the influence of women. Why, what a horrid
cross face you have! You ought to laugh and talk.
Honestly, Volodia, don’t be a stick! You are young
yet; you will have plenty of time for philosophising
later on. And now, let me go. I’m in a hurry to get
back. Let me go, I tell you!”
She freed herself without effort, and went out of the
summer-house singing a snatch of song. Volodia was
left alone. He smoothed his hair, smiled, and walked
three times round the summer-house. Then he sat
down and smiled again. He felt an unbearable sense
of mortification, and even marvelled that human shame
could reach such a point of keenness and intensity.
The feeling made him smile again and wring his
hands and whisper a few incoherent phrases.
He felt humiliated because he had just been treated
like a little boy, and because he was so shy, but chiefly
because he had dared to put his arms around the waist
of a respectable married woman, when neither his age
nor, as he thought, his social position, nor his appearance
warranted such an act.
97He jumped up and, without so much as a glance
behind him, hurried away into the depths of the garden,
as far away from the house as he could go.
“Oh, if we could only get away from here at once!”
he thought, seizing his head in his hands. “Oh,
quickly, quickly!”
The train on which Volodia and his mother were to
go back to town left at eight-forty. There still remained
three hours before train time, and he would
have liked to have gone to the station at once without
waiting for his mother.
At eight o’clock he turned toward the house. His
whole figure expressed determination and seemed to
be proclaiming: “Come what may, I am prepared for
anything!” He had made up his mind to go in boldly,
to look every one straight in the face, and to speak
loudly no matter what happened.
He crossed the terrace, passed through the drawing-room
and the living-room, and stopped in the hall to
catch his breath. He could hear the family at tea in
the adjoining dining-room; Madame Shumikin, his
mother, and Nyuta were discussing something with
laughter.
Volodia listened.
“I assure you I could scarcely believe my eyes!”
Nyuta cried. “I hardly recognised him when he began
to make love to me, and actually—will you believe
it?—put his arms around my waist! He has
quite a way with him! When he told me that he loved
98me, he had the look of a wild animal, like a Circassian.”
“You don’t say so!” cried his mother, rocking with
long shrieks of laughter. “You don’t say so! How
like his father he is!”
Volodia jumped back, and rushed out into the fresh
air.
“How can they all talk about it?” he groaned,
throwing up his arms and staring with horror at the
sky. “Aloud, and in cold blood, too! And mother
laughed! Mother! Oh, God, why did you give me
such a mother? Oh, why?”
But enter the house he must, happen what might.
He walked three times round the garden, and then,
feeling more composed, he went in.
“Why didn’t you come in to tea on time?” asked
Madame Shumikin sternly.
“Excuse me, it—it is time for me to go—” Volodia
stammered, without raising his eyes. “Mother, it is
eight o’clock!”
“Go along by yourself, dear,” answered his mother
languidly. “I am spending the night here with Lily.
Good-by, my boy, come, let me kiss you.”
She kissed her son and said in French:
“He reminds one a little of Lermontov, doesn’t he?”
Volodia managed to take leave of the company
somehow without looking any one in the face, and ten
minutes later he was striding along the road to the
station, glad to be off at last. He now no longer felt
99frightened or ashamed, and could breathe deeply and
freely once more.
Half a mile from the station he sat down on a stone
by the wayside and began looking at the sun, which
was now half hidden behind the horizon. A few small
lights were already gleaming here and there near the
station, and a dim green ray shone out, but the train
had not yet appeared. It was pleasant to sit there
quietly, watching the night slowly creeping across the
fields. The dim summer-house, Nyuta’s light footsteps,
the smell of the bath-house, her laughter, and
her waist—all these things rose up before Volodia’s
fancy with startling vividness, and now no longer
seemed terrible and significant to him as they had a
few hours before.
“What nonsense! She did not pull her hand away;
she laughed when I put my arm around her waist,”
he thought. “Therefore she must have enjoyed it. If
she had not liked it she would have been angry——”
Volodia was vexed now at not having been bolder.
He regretted that he was stupidly running away, and
was convinced that, were the same circumstances to
occur again, he would be more manly and look at the
thing more simply——
But it would not be hard to bring those circumstances
about. The Shumikins always strolled about
the garden for a long time after supper. If Volodia
were to go walking with Nyuta in the dark—there
would be the chance to re-enact the same scene!
100“I’ll go back and leave on an early train to-morrow
morning,” he decided. “I’ll tell them I missed this
train.”
So he went back. Madame Shumikin, his mother,
Nyuta, and one of the nieces were sitting on the terrace
playing cards. When Volodia told them his story
about having missed the train they were uneasy lest
he should be late for his examination, and advised him
to get up early next morning. Volodia sat down at
a little distance from the card-players, and during the
whole game kept his eyes fixed on Nyuta. He had already
determined on a plan. He would go up to
Nyuta in the dark, take her hand, and kiss her. It
would not be necessary for either to speak; they
would understand one another without words.
But the ladies did not go walking after supper; they
continued their game instead. They played until one
o’clock, and then all separated for the night.
“How stupid this is!” thought Volodia, with annoyance.
“But never mind, I’ll wait until to-morrow.
To-morrow in the summer-house—never mind!”
He made no effort to go to sleep, but sat on the edge
of his bed with his arms around his knees and thought.
The idea of the examination was odious to him. He
had already made up his mind that he was going to
be expelled, and that there was nothing terrible about
that. On the contrary, it was a good thing, a very
good thing. To-morrow he would be as free as a
bird. He would leave off his schoolboy’s uniform for
101civilian clothes, smoke in public, and come over here
to make love to Nyuta whenever he liked. He would
be a young man. As for what people called his career
and his future, that was perfectly clear. Volodia
would not enter the government service, but would
become a telegraph operator or have a drug store, and
become a pharmaceutist. Were there not plenty of
careers open to a young man? An hour passed, two
hours passed, and he was still sitting on the edge of
his bed and thinking——
At three o’clock, when it was already light, his door
was cautiously pushed open and his mother came into
the room.
“Aren’t you asleep yet?” she asked with a yawn.
“Go to sleep, go to sleep. I’ve just come in for a
moment to get a bottle of medicine.”
“For whom?”
“Poor Lily is ill again. Go to sleep, child, you have
an examination to-morrow.”
She took a little bottle out of the closet, held it to
the window, read the label, and went out.
“Oh, Maria, that isn’t it!” he heard a woman’s voice
exclaim. “That is Eau de Cologne, and Lily wants
morphine. Is your son awake? Do ask him to find
it!”
The voice was Nyuta’s. Volodia’s heart stopped
beating. He hastily put on his trousers and coat and
went to the door.
“Do you understand? I want morphine!” explained
102Nyuta in a whisper. “It is probably written
in Latin. Wake Volodia, he will be able to find it!”
Volodia’s mother opened the door, and he caught
sight of Nyuta. She was wearing the same blouse
she had worn when she came from the bath-house.
Her hair was hanging loose, and her face looked sleepy
and dusky in the dim light.
“There, Volodia is awake!” she exclaimed. “Volodia,
do get me the morphine out of the closet, there’s
a good boy. What a nuisance Lily is! She always
has something the matter with her.”
The mother murmured something, yawned, and
went away.
“Come, find it!” cried Nyuta. “What are you
standing there for?”
Volodia went to the closet, knelt down, and began
searching among the bottles of medicine and pill-boxes
there. His hands were trembling and cold chills
were running down his chest and back. He aimlessly
seized bottles of ether, carbolic acid, and various boxes
of herbs in his shaking hands, spilling and scattering
the contents. The smell overpowered him and made
his head swim.
“Mother has gone—” he thought. “That’s good—good.”
“Hurry!” cried Nyuta.
“Just a moment—there, this must be it!” said
Volodia having deciphered the letters “morph—” on
one of the labels. “Here it is!”
103Nyuta was standing in the doorway with one foot
in the hall and one in Volodia’s room. She was twisting
up her hair—which was no easy matter, for it was
long and thick—and was looking vacantly at Volodia.
In the dim radiance shed by the white, early
morning sky, with her full blouse and her flowing hair,
she looked to him superb and entrancing. Fascinated,
trembling from head to foot, and remembering with
delight how he had embraced her in the summer-house,
he handed her the bottle and said:
“You are——”
“What?” she asked smiling.
He said nothing; he looked at her, and then, as he
had done in the summer-house, he seized her hand.
“I love you—” he whispered.
Volodia felt as if the room and Nyuta, and the
dawn, and he himself had suddenly rushed together
into a keen, unknown feeling of happiness for which he
was ready to give his whole life and lose his soul for
ever, but half a minute later it all suddenly vanished.
“Well, I must go—” said Nyuta, looking contemptuously
at Volodia. “What a pitiful, plain boy
you are—Bah, you ugly duckling!”
How hideous her long hair, her full blouse, her footsteps
and her voice now seemed to him!
“Ugly duckling!” he thought. “Yes, I am indeed
ugly—everything is ugly.”
The sun rose; the birds broke into song; the sound
of the gardener’s footsteps and the creaking of his
104wheelbarrow rose from the garden. The cows lowed
and the notes of a shepherd’s pipe trembled in the air.
The sunlight and all these manifold sounds proclaimed
that somewhere in the world there could be found a
life that was pure, and gracious, and poetic. Where
was it? Neither Volodia’s mother, nor any one of the
people who surrounded the boy had ever spoken of
it to him.
When the man servant came to call him for the
morning train, he pretended to be asleep.
“Oh, to thunder with it all!” he thought.
He got up at eleven. As he brushed his hair before
the mirror he looked at his plain face, so pale after his
sleepless night, and thought:
“She is quite right. I really am an ugly duckling.”
When his mother saw him and seemed horrified at
his not having gone to take his examination, Volodia
said:
“I overslept, mamma, but don’t worry; I can give
them a certificate from the doctor.”
Madame Shumikin and Nyuta woke at one o’clock.
Volodia heard the former throw open her window
with a bang, and heard Nyuta’s ringing laugh answer
her rough voice. He saw the dining-room door
flung open and the nieces and dependents, among
whom was his mother, troop in to lunch. He saw
Nyuta’s freshly washed face, and beside it the black
eyebrows and beard of the architect, who had just
come.
105Nyuta was in Little Russian costume, and this was
not becoming to her and made her look clumsy. The
architect made some vulgar, insipid jests, and Volodia
thought that there were a terrible lot of onions in the
stew that day. He also thought that Nyuta was
laughing loudly and looking in his direction on purpose
to let him understand that the memory of last
night did not worry her in the least, and that she
scarcely noticed the presence at table of the ugly
duckling.
At four o’clock Volodia and his mother drove to
the station. The lad’s sordid memories, his sleepless
night, and the pangs of his conscience aroused in him
a feeling of painful and gloomy anger. He looked at
his mother’s thin profile, at her little nose, and at the
rain-coat that had been a gift to her from Nyuta,
and muttered:
“Why do you powder your face? It does not become
you at all! You try to look pretty, but you
don’t pay your debts, and you smoke cigarettes that
aren’t yours! It’s disgusting! I don’t like you, no,
I don’t, I don’t!”
So he insulted her, but she only rolled her eyes in
terror and, throwing up her hands, said in a horrified
whisper:
“What are you saying? Heavens, the coachman
will hear you! Do hush, he can hear everything!”
“I don’t like you! I don’t like you!” he went on,
struggling for breath. “You are without morals or
106heart. Don’t dare to wear that rain-coat again, do
you hear me? If you do, I’ll tear it to shreds!”
“Control yourself, child!” wept his mother. “The
coachman will hear you!”
“Where is my father’s fortune? Where is your own?
You have squandered them both. I am not ashamed
of my poverty, but I am ashamed of my mother. I
blush whenever the boys at school ask me about you.”
The village was two stations from town. During
the whole journey Volodia stood on the platform of
the car, trembling from head to foot, not wanting to
go inside because his mother, whom he hated, was sitting
there. He hated himself, and the conductor, and
the smoke of the engine, and the cold to which he
ascribed the shivering fit that had seized him. The
heavier his heart grew, the more convinced he became
that somewhere in the world there must be people
who lived a pure, noble, warm-hearted, gracious life,
full of love, and tenderness, and merriment, and freedom.
He felt this and suffered so keenly from the
thought that one of the passengers looked intently at
him, and said:
“You must have a toothache!”
Volodia and his mother lived with a widow who
rented a large apartment and let rooms to lodgers.
His mother had two rooms, one with windows where her
own bed stood, and another adjoining it, which was
small and dark, where Volodia lived. A sofa, on which
he slept, was the only furniture of this little room; all
107the available space was taken up by trunks full of
dresses, and by hat-boxes and piles of rubbish which
his mother had seen fit to collect. Volodia studied his
lessons in his mother’s room, or in the “parlour,”
as the large room was called, where the lodgers assembled
before dinner and in the evening.
On reaching home, Volodia threw himself down on
his sofa and covered himself with a blanket, hoping
to cure his shivering fit. The hat-boxes, the trunks,
and the rubbish, all proclaimed to him that he had
no room of his own, no corner in which he could take
refuge from his mother, her guests, and the voices
that now assailed his ears from the parlour. His
school satchel and the books that lay scattered about
the floor reminded him of the examination he had
missed. Quite unexpectedly there rose before his
eyes a vision of Mentone, where he had lived with his
father when he was seven years old. He recalled
Biarritz, and two little English girls with whom he had
played on the beach. He vainly tried to remember the
colour of the sky, and the ocean, and the height of the
waves, and how he had then felt; the little English
girls flashed across his vision with all the vividness of
life, but the rest of the picture was confused and
gradually faded away.
“It is too cold here,” Volodia thought. He got up,
put on his overcoat, and went into the parlour.
The inmates of the house were assembled there at
tea. His mother, an old maid music teacher with
108horn spectacles, and Monsieur Augustin, a fat Frenchman,
who worked in a perfume factory, were sitting
near the samovar.
“I haven’t had dinner to-day,” his mother was
saying. “I must send the maid for some bread.”
“Duniash!” shouted the Frenchman.
It appeared that the maid had been sent on an
errand by her mistress.
“Oh, no matter!” said the Frenchman, smiling
broadly. “I go for the bread myself! Oh, no matter!”
He laid down his strong, reeking cigar in a conspicuous
place, put on his hat, and went out.
When he had gone, Volodia’s mother began telling
the music teacher of her visit to Madame Shumikin’s,
and of the enthusiastic reception she had had there.
“Lily Shumikin is a relative of mine, you know,”
she said. “Her husband, General Shumikin, was a
cousin of my husband’s. She was the Baroness Kolb
before her marriage.”
“Mother, that isn’t true!” cried Volodia exasperated.
“Why do you lie so?”
Now he knew that his mother was not lying, and
that in her account of General Shumikin and Baroness
Kolb there was not a word of untruth, but he felt none
the less as if she were lying. The tone of her voice,
the expression of her face, her glance—all were false.
“It’s a lie!” Volodia repeated, bringing his fist down
on the table with such a bang that the cups and
saucers rattled and mamma spilled her tea. “What
109makes you talk about generals and baronesses? It’s
all a lie!”
The music teacher was embarrassed and coughed
behind her handkerchief, as if she had swallowed a
crumb. Mamma burst into tears.
“How can I get away from here?” thought Volodia.
He was ashamed to go to the house of any of his
school friends. Once more he unexpectedly remembered
the two little English girls. He walked across the
parlour and into Monsieur Augustin’s room. There
the air smelled strongly of volatile oils and glycerine
soap. Quantities of little bottles full of liquids of
various colours cluttered the table, the window-sills,
and even the chairs. Volodia took up a paper and
read the heading: “Le Figaro.” The paper exhaled
a strong and pleasant fragrance. He picked up a
revolver that lay on the table.
“There, there, don’t mind what he says!” the music
teacher was consoling his mother in the next room.
“He is still young, and young men always do foolish
things. We must make up our minds to that.”
“No, Miss Eugenia, he has been spoiled,” moaned
his mother. “There is no one who has any authority
over him, and I am too weak to do anything. Oh, I
am very unhappy.”
Volodia put the barrel of the revolver into his
mouth, felt something which he thought was the
trigger, and pulled—Then he found another little
hook and pulled again. He took the revolver out of
110his mouth and examined the lock. He had never held
a firearm in his hands in his life.
“I suppose this thing ought to be raised,” he
thought. “Yes, I think that is right.”
Monsieur Augustin entered the parlour laughing
and began to recount some adventure he had had on
the way. Volodia once more put the barrel into his
mouth, seized it between his teeth, and pulled a little
hook he felt with his fingers. A shot rang out—something
hit him with tremendous force in the back
of the neck, and he fell forward upon the table with
his face among the bottles and glasses. He saw his
father wearing a high hat with a wide silk band,
because he was wearing mourning for some lady in
Mentone, and felt himself suddenly seized in his arms
and fall with him into a very deep, black abyss.
Then everything grew confused and faded away.
111
Ivan Lapkin, a youth of pleasing exterior, and
Anna Zamblitskaya, a girl with a tip-tilted nose,
descended the steep river bank and took their seats
on a bench at its foot. The bench stood at the water’s
edge in a thicket of young willows. It was a lovely
spot. Sitting there, one was hidden from all the
world and observed only by fish and the daddy-longlegs
that skimmed like lightning across the surface of
the water. The young people were armed with fishing-rods,
nets, cans containing worms, and other fishing
appurtenances. They sat down on the bench and immediately
began to fish.
“I am glad that we are alone at last,” began Lapkin
glancing behind him. “I have a great deal to say to
you, Miss Anna, a very great deal. When first I saw
you—you’ve got a bite!—I realized at last the reason
for my existence. I knew that you were the idol at
whose feet I was to lay the whole of an honourable
and industrious life—that’s a big one biting! On seeing
you I fell in love for the first time in my life. I
fell madly in love!—Don’t pull yet, let it bite a little
longer!—Tell me, dearest, I beg you, if I may aspire,
not to a return of my affection—no, I am not worthy of
that, I dare not even dream of it—but tell me if I may
112aspire to—pull!” With a shriek, Anna jerked the arm
that held the fishing-rod into the air; a little silvery-green
fish dangled glistening in the sunlight.
“Goodness gracious, it’s a perch! Oh, oh, be quick,
it’s coming off!”
The perch fell off the hook, flopped across the grass
toward its native element, and splashed into the water.
Somehow, while pursuing it, Lapkin accidentally
seized Anna’s hand instead of the fish and accidentally
pressed it to his lips. Anna pulled it away, but it was
too late, their lips accidentally met in a kiss. It all
happened accidentally. A second kiss succeeded the
first, and then followed vows and the plighting of troth.
Happy moments! But perfect bliss does not exist on
earth, it often bears a poison in itself, or else is poisoned
by some outside circumstances. So it was in this case.
When the young people had exchanged kisses they
heard a sudden burst of laughter. They looked at the
river in stupefaction; before them, up to his waist in
water, stood a naked boy: it was Kolia, Anna’s schoolboy
brother! He stood there smiling maliciously with
his eyes fixed on the young people.
“Aha! You’re kissing one another, are you? All
right, I’ll tell mamma!”
“I hope that, as an honourable boy—” faltered
Lapkin, blushing. “To spy on us is mean, but to
sneak is low, base, vile. I am sure that, as a good and
honourable boy, you——”
“Give me a rouble and I won’t say anything!”
113answered the honourable boy. “If you don’t, I’ll tell
on you——”
Lapkin took a rouble from his pocket and gave it to
Kolia. The boy seized it in his wet hand, whistled,
and swam away. The young couple exchanged no
more kisses on that occasion.
Next day Lapkin brought Kolia a box of paints from
town and a ball; his sister gave him all her old pill-boxes.
They next had to present him with a set of
studs with little dogs’ heads on them. The bad boy
obviously relished the game and began spying on them
so as to get more presents. Wherever Lapkin and
Anna went, there he went too. He never left them to
themselves for a moment.
“The little wretch!” muttered Lapkin grinding his
teeth. “So young and yet so great a rascal! What
will become of us?”
All through the month of June Kolia tormented the
unhappy lovers. He threatened them with betrayal, he
spied on them, and then demanded presents; he could
not get enough, and at last began talking of a watch.
The watch was given him.
Once during dinner, while the waffles were on the
table, he burst out laughing, winked, and said to
Lapkin:
“Shall I tell them, eh?”
Lapkin blushed furiously and put his napkin into
his mouth instead of a waffle. Anna jumped up from
the table and ran into another room.
114The young people remained in this situation until
the end of August when the day at last came on which
Lapkin proposed for Anna’s hand. Oh, what a joyful
day it was! No sooner had he spoken with his sweetheart’s
parents and obtained their consent to his suit,
than Lapkin rushed into the garden in search of Kolia.
He nearly wept with exultation on finding him, and
caught the wicked boy by the ear. Anna came running
up, too, looking for Kolia, and seized him by the other
ear. The pleasure depicted on the faces of the lovers
when Kolia wept and begged for mercy was well worth
seeing.
“Dear, good, sweet angels, I won’t do it again!
Ouch, ouch! Forgive me!” Kolia implored them.
They confessed afterward that during all their courtship
they had never once experienced such bliss, such
thrilling rapture, as they did during those few moments
when they were pulling the ears of that wicked boy.
115
It was midnight. Suddenly Mitia Kuldaroff burst
into his parents’ house, dishevelled and excited,
and went flying through all the rooms. His father
and mother had already gone to rest; his sister was in
bed finishing the last pages of a novel, and his schoolboy
brothers were fast asleep.
“What brings you here?” cried his astonished parents.
“What is the matter?”
“Oh, don’t ask me! I never expected anything
like this! No, no, I never expected it! It is—it is
absolutely incredible!”
Mitia burst out laughing and dropped into a chair,
unable to stand on his feet from happiness.
“It is incredible! You can’t imagine what it is!
Look here!”
His sister jumped out of bed, threw a blanket over
her shoulders, and went to her brother. The schoolboys
woke up——
“What’s the matter with you? You look like a
ghost.”
“It’s because I’m so happy, mother. I am known
all over Russia now. Until to-day, you were the only
people who knew that such a person as Dimitri Kuldaroff
116existed, but now all Russia knows it! Oh,
mother! Oh, heavens!”
Mitia jumped up, ran through all the rooms, and
dropped back into a chair.
“But what has happened? Talk sense!”
“You live like wild animals, you don’t read the
news, the press is nothing to you, and yet there are so
many wonderful things in the papers! Everything
that happens becomes known at once, nothing remains
hidden! Oh, how happy I am! Oh, heavens!
The newspapers only write about famous people, and
now there is something in them about me!”
“What do you mean? Where is it?”
Papa turned pale. Mamma glanced at the icon
and crossed herself. The schoolboys jumped out of
bed and ran to their brother in their short nightshirts.
“Yes, sir! There is something about me in the
paper! The whole of Russia knows it now. Oh,
mother, keep this number as a souvenir; we can
read it from time to time. Look!”
Mitia pulled a newspaper out of his pocket and
handed it to his father, pointing to an item marked
with a blue pencil.
“Read that!”
His father put on his glasses.
“Come on, read it!”
Mamma glanced at the icon once more, and crossed
herself. Papa cleared his throat, and began:
117“At 11 P. M., on December 27, a young man by
the name of Dimitri Kuldaroff——”
“See? See? Go on!”
“A young man by the name of Dimitri Kuldaroff,
coming out of a tavern on Little Armourer Street, and
being in an intoxicated condition——”
“That’s it, I was with Simion Petrovitch! Every
detail is correct. Go on! Listen!”
“—being in an intoxicated condition, slipped and
fell under the feet of a horse belonging to the cabman
Ivan Drotoff, a peasant from the village of Durinka
in the province of Yuknofski. The frightened horse
jumped across Kuldaroff’s prostrate body, pulling the
sleigh after him. In the sleigh sat Stepan Lukoff, a
merchant of the Second Moscow Guild of Merchants.
The horse galloped down the street, but was finally
stopped by some house porters. For a few moments
Kuldaroff was stunned. He was conveyed to the police
station and examined by a doctor. The blow which
he had sustained on the back of the neck——”
“That was from the shaft, papa. Go on! Read
the rest!”
“—the blow which he had sustained on the back of
the neck was pronounced to be slight. The victim
was given medical assistance.”
“They put cold-water bandages round my neck.
Do you believe me now? What do you think? Isn’t
it great? It has gone all over Russia by now! Give
me the paper!”
118Mitia seized the paper, folded it, and put it into his
pocket, exclaiming:
“I must run to the Makaroffs, and show it to them!
And the Ivanoffs must see it, too, and Natalia, and
Anasim—I must run there at once! Good-bye!”
Mitia crammed on his cap and ran blissfully and
triumphantly out into the street.
119
When I was a schoolboy in the fifth or sixth
grade, I remember driving with my grandfather
from the little village where we lived to Rostoff-on-Don.
It was a sultry, long, weary August day.
Our eyes were dazzled, and our throats were parched
by the heat, and the dry, burning wind kept whirling
clouds of dust in our faces. We desired only not to
open our eyes or to speak, and when the sleepy Little
Russian driver Karpo flicked my cap, as he brandished
his whip over his horse, I neither protested nor uttered
a sound, but, waking from a half-doze, I looked meekly
and listlessly into the distance, hoping to descry a
village through the dust. We stopped to feed the
horse at the house of a rich Armenian whom my grandfather
knew in the large Armenian village of Baktchi-Salak.
Never in my life have I seen anything more of
a caricature, than our Armenian host. Picture to
yourself a tiny, clean-shaven head, thick, overhanging
eyebrows, a beak-like nose, a long, grey moustache, and
a large mouth, out of which a long chibouk of cherry-wood
is hanging. This head was clumsily stuck on
120a stooping little body clothed in a fantastic costume
consisting of a bob tailed red jacket and wide, bright
blue breeches. The little man walked shuffling his
slippers, with his feet far apart. He did not remove
his pipe from his mouth when he spoke, and carried
himself with true Armenian dignity, staring-eyed and
unsmiling, doing his best to ignore his guests as much
as possible.
Although there was neither wind nor dust in the
Armenian’s house, it was as uncomfortable and stifling
and dreary in there as it had been on the road across
the steppe. Dusty and heavy with the heat, I sat
down on a green trunk in a corner. The wooden walls,
the furniture, and the floor painted with yellow ochre
smelled of dry wood blistering in the sun. Wherever
the eye fell, were flies, flies, flies—My grandfather
and the Armenian talked together in low voices of
pasturage and fertilising and sheep. I knew that it
would be an hour before the samovar would be brought,
and that grandfather would then drink tea for at least
an hour longer, after which he would lie down for a
two or three hours’ nap. A quarter of the day would
thus be spent by me in waiting, after which we would
resume the dust, the swelter, and the jolting of the
road. I heard the two voices murmuring together, and
began to feel as if I had been looking for ever at the
Armenian, the china closet, the flies, and the windows
through which the hot sun was pouring, and that I
should only cease to look at them in the distant future.
121I was seized with hatred of the steppe, the sun, and
the flies.
A Little Russian woman, with a kerchief on her head,
brought in first a tray of dishes, and then the samovar.
The Armenian went without haste to the hall door,
and called:
“Mashia! Come and pour the tea! Where are
you, Mashia?”
We heard hurried footfalls, and a girl of sixteen in
a plain cotton dress, with a white kerchief on her head,
entered the room. Her back was turned toward me
as she stood arranging the tea-things and pouring the
tea, and all I could see was that she was slender and
barefooted, and that her little toes were almost hidden
by her long, full trousers.
Our host invited me to sit down at the table, and
when I was seated, I looked into the girl’s face as she
handed me my glass. As I looked, I suddenly felt as
if a wind had swept over my soul, blowing away all
the impressions of the day with its tedium and dust.
I beheld there the enchanting features of the most
lovely face I had ever seen, waking or in my dreams.
Before me stood a very beautiful girl; I recognised
that at a glance, as one recognises a flash of lightning.
I am ready to swear that Masha—or, as her father
called her, Mashia—was really beautiful, but I cannot
prove it. Sometimes, in the evening, the clouds lie
piled high on the horizon, and the sun, hidden behind
them, stains them and the sky with a hundred colours,
122crimson, orange, gold, violet, and rosy pink. One
cloud resembles a monk; another, a fish; a third, a
turbaned Turk. The glow embraces one-third of the
sky, flashing from the cross on the church, and the
windows of the manor-house, lighting up the river
and the meadows, and trembling upon the tree tops.
Far, far away against the sunset a flock of wild ducks
is winging its way to its night’s resting-place. And
the little cowherd with his cows, and the surveyor
driving along the river dyke in his cart, and the inmates
of the manor-house strolling in the evening air,
all gaze at the sunset, and to each one it is supremely
beautiful, but no one can say just where its beauty
lies.
Not I alone found the young Armenian beautiful.
My grandfather, an octogenarian, stern and indifferent
to women and to the beauties of Nature, looked
gently at Masha for a whole minute, and then asked:
“Is that your daughter, Avet Nazaritch?”
“Yes, that is my daughter,” answered our host.
“She is a fine girl,” the old man said heartily.
An artist would have called the Armenian’s beauty
classic and severe. It was the type of beauty in whose
presence you feel that here are features of perfect
regularity; that the hair, the eyes, the nose, the mouth,
the chin, the neck, the breast, and every movement
of the young body are merged into a perfect and
harmonious chord, in which Nature has not sounded
one false note. You somehow feel that a woman of
123ideal beauty should have just such a nose as Masha’s,
slender, with the slightest aquiline curve; just such
large, dark eyes and long lashes; just such a languorous
glance; that her dusky, curly hair and her black eyebrows
match the delicate, tender white tint of her
forehead and cheeks as green reeds match the waters
of a quiet river. Masha’s white throat and young
breast were scarcely developed, and yet it seemed as
if to chisel them one would have had to possess the
highest creative genius. You looked at her, and little
by little the longing seized you to say something wonderfully
kind to her; something beautiful and true;
something as beautiful as the girl herself.
I was hurt and humiliated at first that Masha should
keep her eyes fixed on the ground as she did and fail
to notice me. I felt as if a strange atmosphere of happiness
and pride were blowing between us, sighing
jealously at every glance of mine.
“It is because I am all sunburned and dusty,” I
thought. “And because I am still a boy.”
But later I gradually forgot my feelings, and abandoned
myself to her beauty heart and soul. I no
longer remembered the dust and tedium of the steppe,
nor heard the buzzing of the flies; I did not taste the
tea, and only felt that there, across the table, stood
that lovely girl.
Her beauty had a strange effect upon me. I experienced
neither desire, nor rapture, nor pleasure, but
a sweet, oppressive sadness, as vague and undefinable
124as a dream. I was sorry for myself, and for my grandfather,
and for the Armenian, and for the girl herself,
and felt as if each one of us had lost something significant
and essential to our lives, which we could never
find again. Grandfather, too, grew sad and no longer
talked of sheep and pasturage, but sat in silence, his
eyes resting pensively on Masha.
When tea was over, grandfather lay down to take
his nap, and I went out and sat on the little porch at
the front door. Like all the other houses in Baktchi-Salak,
this one stood in the blazing sun; neither trees
nor eaves threw any shade about it. The great courtyard,
all overgrown with dock and nettles, was full of
life and gaiety in spite of the intense heat. Wheat was
being threshed behind one of the low wattle fences that
intersected it in various places, and twelve horses were
trotting round and round a post that had been driven
into the middle of the threshing-floor. A Little Russian
in a long, sleeveless coat, and wide breeches, was walking
beside the horses cracking his whip over them, and
shouting as if to excite them, and at the same time to
vaunt his mastery over them.
“Ah—ah—ah—you little devils! Ah—ah, the cholera
take you! Are you not afraid of me?”
Not knowing why they were being forced to trot
round in a circle, trampling wheat straw under their
feet, the horses—bay, white and piebald—moved unwillingly
and wearily, angrily switching their tails.
The wind raised clouds of golden chaff under their
125hoofs, and blew it away across the fence. Women with
rakes were swarming among the tall stacks of fresh
straw, tip-carts were hurrying to and fro, and behind
the stacks in an adjoining courtyard another dozen
horses were trotting around a post, and another Little
Russian was cracking his whip and making merry over
them.
The steps on which I was sitting were fiery hot, the
heat had drawn drops of resin from the slender porch
railing and the window-sills, and swarms of ruddy
little beetles were crowded together in the strips of
shade under the blinds and steps. The sun’s rays
were beating on my head, and breast, and back, but I
was unconscious of them, and only felt that there, behind
me, those bare feet were pattering about on the
deal floor. Having cleared away the tea-things, Masha
ran down the steps, a little gust sweeping me as she
passed, and flew like a bird into a small, smoky
building that was no doubt the kitchen, from which
issued a smell of roasting mutton and the angry
tones of an Armenian voice. She vanished into the
dark doorway, and in her stead there appeared on the
threshold an old, humpbacked Armenian crone, in
green trousers. The old woman was in a rage, and was
scolding some one. Masha soon came out on the
threshold again, flushed with the heat of the kitchen,
bearing a huge loaf of black bread on her shoulder.
Bending gracefully under its weight, she ran across the
court in the direction of the threshing-floor, leaped
126over the fence, and plunged into the clouds of golden
chaff. The Little Russian driver lowered his whip,
stopped his cries, and gazed after her for a moment;
then, when the girl appeared again beside the horses,
and jumped back over the fence, he followed her once
more with his eyes, and cried to his horses in a tone
of affliction:
“Ah—ah—the Evil One fly away with you!”
From then on I sat and listened to the unceasing
fall of her bare feet, and watched her whisking about
the courtyard, with her face so serious and intent.
Now she would run up the steps, fanning me with a
whirl of wind; now dart into the kitchen; now across
the threshing-floor; now out through the front gate,
and all so fast that I could barely turn my head quickly
enough to follow her with my eyes.
And the oftener she flashed across my vision with
her beauty, the more profound my sadness grew. I
pitied myself, and her, and the Little Russian sadly
following her with his eyes each time that she ran
through the cloud of chaff and past the straw-stacks.
Was I envious of her beauty? Did I regret that this
girl was not and never could be mine, and that I
must for ever remain a stranger to her? Did I dimly
realise that her rare loveliness was a freak of nature,
vain, perishable like everything else on earth? Or
did my sadness spring from a feeling peculiar to every
heart at the sight of perfect beauty? Who shall say?
The three hours of waiting passed before I was
127aware. It seemed to me that I had scarcely had a
chance to look at Masha, before Karpo rode down to
the river to wash off his horse, and began to harness
up. The wet animal whinnied with delight, and struck
the shafts with his hoofs. Karpo shouted “Ba—ack!”
Grandfather woke up. Masha threw open the creaking
gates; we climbed into our carriage and drove out
of the courtyard. We travelled in silence, as if there
had been a quarrel between us.
Three hours later, when we could already see Rostoff
in the distance, Karpo, who had not spoken since we
left the Armenian village, looked round swiftly and said:
“That Armenian has a pretty daughter!”
And as he said this he lashed his horse.
Once again, when I was a student in college, I was
on my way south by train. It was May. At one of
the stations between Byelogorod and Kharkoff, I think
it was, I got out of the train to walk up and down the
platform.
The evening shadows were already lying on the little
garden, the platform, and the distant fields. The
sunlight had faded from the station, but by the rosy
glow that shone on the highest puffs of steam from our
engine we could tell that the sun had not yet sunk beneath
the horizon.
As I strolled along the platform I noticed that most
128of the passengers had gathered round one of the second-class
carriages as if there were some well-known person
inside. In that inquisitive crowd I found my travelling
companion, a bright young artillery officer, warm-hearted
and sympathetic as people are with whom one
strikes up a chance acquaintanceship for a few hours
on a journey.
“What are you looking at?” I asked.
He did not answer, but motioned me with his eyes
toward a female figure standing alongside the train.
She was a young girl of seventeen or eighteen, dressed
in Russian costume, bareheaded, with a kerchief
thrown carelessly over one shoulder. She was not a
passenger on the train, but probably the daughter or
the sister of the station superintendent. She was chatting
at a window with an elderly woman. Before I
could realise exactly what I was looking at, I was suddenly
overwhelmed by the same sensation that I had
experienced in the Armenian village.
The girl was extraordinarily beautiful, of this
neither I nor any one of those who were looking at her
could have the slightest doubt.
Were I to describe her lineaments in detail, as the
custom is, the only really beautiful point I could
ascribe to her would be her thick, curly, blond hair,
caught up with a black ribbon. Her other features
were either irregular or frankly commonplace. Whether
from coquetry or short-sightedness, she kept her eyes
half-closed; her nose was vaguely tip-tilted; her mouth
129was small; her profile was weak and ill-defined; her
shoulders were too narrow for her years. Nevertheless,
the girl gave one the impression of being a great
beauty, and as I looked at her I grew convinced that
the Russian physiognomy does not demand severe regularity
of feature to be beautiful; on the contrary, it
seemed to me that, had this girl’s nose been straight
and classic as the Armenian’s was, her face would have
lost all its comeliness.
As she stood at the window chatting and shrinking
from the evening chill, the girl now glanced back at us,
now stuck her arms akimbo, now raised her hands to
catch up a stray lock of hair, and, as she laughed and
talked, the expression on her face varied between surprise
and mimic horror. I do not remember one
second when her features and body were at rest. The
very mystery and magic of her loveliness lay in those
indescribably graceful little motions of hers; in her
smile; in the play of her features; in her swift glances
at us; in the union of delicate grace, youth, freshness,
and purity that rang in her voice and laughter. The
charm of her was the frailty which we love in children,
birds, fawns, and slender saplings.
Hers was the beauty of the butterfly that accords
so well with waltzes, with flutterings about a garden,
with laughter, and the merriment that admits neither
thought, nor sadness, nor repose. It seemed that,
should a strong gust of wind blow along the platform,
or a shower of rain fall, this fragile figure must crumple
130to nothing, and this wayward beauty dissolve like the
pollen of a flower.
“Well, well, well!” murmured the officer, sighing as
we walked toward our compartment after the second
starting-bell had rung.
What he meant by that “Well, well, well,” I shall
not attempt to decide.
Perhaps he was sad at leaving the lovely girl and
the spring evening, and returning to the stuffy train,
or perhaps he was sorry, as I was, for her, and for himself,
and for me, and for all the passengers that were
languidly and unwillingly creeping toward their several
compartments. As we walked past a window at which
a pale, red-haired telegraph operator was sitting over
his instrument, the officer, seeing his pompadour curls,
and his faded, bony face, sighed again, and said:
“I’ll bet you that operator is in love with the little
beauty. To live among these lonely fields, under the
same roof with that lovely little creature, and not to
fall in love with her would be superhuman. And, oh,
my friend, what a misfortune, what a mockery, to be
a round-shouldered, threadbare, colourless, earnest,
sensible man and to fall in love with that beautiful,
foolish child, who is not worth a thought from any one!
Or, worse still, supposing this operator is in love with
her, and at the same time married to a woman as round-shouldered,
and threadbare, and colourless, and sensible
as himself! What misery!”
Near our compartment the train conductor was
131leaning against the platform railing, gazing in the direction
of the beautiful girl. His flabby, dissipated,
wrinkled face, haggard with the weariness of sleepless
nights and the motion of the train, wore an expression
of profoundest melancholy, as if in this girl he saw the
spectre of his youth, his happiness, his sober ways, his
wife, and his children. His heart was full of repentance,
and he felt with his whole being that this girl was not
for him and that, with his premature old age, his
awkwardness, and his bloated face, every day, human
happiness was as far beyond his reach as was the sky.
The third bell clanged, the whistle blew, and the
train moved slowly away. Past our windows flashed
the conductor, the station superintendent, the garden,
and at last the beautiful girl herself with her sweet,
childishly cunning smile.
By leaning out of the window and looking back, I
could see her walking up and down the platform in
front of the window where the telegraph operator was
sitting, watching the train and pinning up a stray
lock of hair. Then she ran into the garden. The
station was no longer kindled by the western light;
though the fields were level and bare, the sun’s rays
had faded from them, and the smoke from our engine
lay in black, rolling masses upon the green velvet of
the winter wheat. A sense of sadness pervaded the
spring air, the darkling sky, and the railway-carriage.
Our friend the conductor came into our compartment
and lit the lamp.
LIGHT AND SHADOW — THE CHORUS GIRL — THE FATHER OF A FAMILY — THE ORATOR — IONITCH — II — III — IV — V — AT CHRISTMAS TIME — II — IN THE COACH HOUSE — LADY N——’S STORY — A JOURNEY BY CART — THE PRIVY COUNCILLOR — ROTHSCHILD’S FIDDLE — A HORSEY NAME — THE PETCHENEG [1] — THE BISHOP — II — III — IV
133
135
One day while she was still pretty and young and
her voice was sweet, Nikolai Kolpakoff, an admirer
of hers, was sitting in a room on the second floor
of her cottage. The afternoon was unbearably sultry
and hot. Kolpakoff, who had just dined and drunk a
whole bottle of vile port, felt thoroughly ill and out
of sorts. Both he and she were bored, and were waiting
for the heat to abate so that they might go for a
stroll.
Suddenly a bell rang in the hall. Kolpakoff, who
was sitting in his slippers without a coat, jumped up
and looked at Pasha with a question in his eyes.
“It is probably the postman or one of the girls,”
said the singer.
Kolpakoff was not afraid of the postman or of Pasha’s
girl friends, but nevertheless he snatched up his coat
and disappeared into the next room while Pasha ran to
open the door. What was her astonishment when she
saw on the threshold, not the postman nor a girl friend,
but an unknown woman, beautiful and young! Her
dress was distinguished and she was evidently a lady.
The stranger was pale and was breathing heavily
as if she were out of breath from climbing the stairs.
136“What can I do for you?” Pasha inquired.
The lady did not reply at once. She took a step forward,
looked slowly around the room, and sank into
a chair as if her legs had collapsed under her from
faintness or fatigue. Her pale lips moved silently,
trying to utter words which would not come.
“Is my husband here?” she asked at last, raising
her large eyes with their red and swollen lids to Pasha’s
face.
“What husband do you mean?” Pasha whispered,
suddenly taking such violent fright that her hands and
feet grew as cold as ice. “What husband?” she repeated
beginning to tremble.
“My husband—Nikolai Kolpakoff.”
“N-no, my lady. I don’t know your husband.”
A minute passed in silence. The stranger drew her
handkerchief several times across her pale lips, and
held her breath in an effort to subdue an inward trembling,
while Pasha stood before her as motionless as a
statue, gazing at her full of uncertainty and fear.
“So you say he is not here?” asked the lady. Her
voice was firm now and a strange smile had twisted
her lips.
“I—I—don’t know whom you mean!”
“You are a revolting, filthy, vile creature!” muttered
the stranger looking at Pasha with hatred and
disgust. “Yes, yes, you are revolting. I am glad
indeed that an opportunity has come at last for me
to tell you this!”
137Pasha felt that she was producing the effect of
something indecent and foul on this lady in black, with
the angry eyes and the long, slender fingers, and she
was ashamed of her fat, red cheeks, the pock-mark on
her nose, and the lock of hair on her forehead that
would never stay up. She thought that if she were
thin and her face were not powdered, and she had not
that curl on her forehead, she would not feel so afraid
and ashamed standing there before this mysterious,
unknown lady.
“Where is my husband?” the lady went on. “However
it makes no difference to me whether he is here or
not, I only want you to know that he has been caught
embezzling funds intrusted to him, and that the police
are looking for him. He is going to be arrested. Now
see what you have done!”
The lady rose and began to walk up and down in
violent agitation. Pasha stared at her; fear rendered
her uncomprehending.
“He will be found to-day and arrested,” the lady
repeated with a sob full of bitterness and rage. “I
know who has brought this horror upon him! Disgusting,
abominable woman! Horrible, bought creature!
(Here the lady’s lips curled and her nose wrinkled
with aversion.) I am impotent. Listen to me, you
low woman. I am impotent and you are stronger
than I, but there is One who will avenge me and my
children. God’s eyes see all things. He is just. He
will call you to account for every tear I have shed,
138every sleepless night I have passed. The time will
come when you will remember me!”
Once more silence fell. The lady walked to and fro
wringing her hands. Pasha continued to watch her
dully, uncomprehendingly, dazed with doubt, waiting
for her to do something terrible.
“I don’t know what you mean, my lady!” she suddenly
cried, and burst into tears.
“That’s a lie!” screamed the lady, her eyes flashing
with anger. “I know all about it! I have known
about you for a long time. I know that he has been
coming here every day for the last month.”
“Yes—and what if he has? Is it my fault? I have
a great many visitors, but I don’t force any one to
come. They are free to do as they please.”
“I tell you he is accused of embezzlement! He has
taken money that didn’t belong to him, and for the
sake of a woman like you—for your sake, he has
brought himself to commit a crime! Listen to me,”
the lady said sternly, halting before Pasha. “You
are an unprincipled woman, I know. You exist to
bring misfortune to men, that is the object of your
life, but I cannot believe that you have fallen so low
as not to have one spark of humanity left in your
breast. He has a wife, he has children, oh, remember
that! There is one means of saving us from poverty
and shame; if I can find nine hundred roubles to-day
he will be left in peace. Only nine hundred
roubles!”
139“What nine hundred roubles?” asked Pasha feebly.
“I—I don’t know—I didn’t take——”
“I am not asking you to give me nine hundred
roubles, you have no money, and I don’t want anything
that belongs to you. It is something else that
I ask. Men generally give presents of jewellery to
women like you. All I ask is that you should give me
back the things that my husband has given you.”
“My lady, he has never given me anything!” wailed
Pasha beginning to understand.
“Then where is the money he has wasted? He has
squandered in some way his own fortune, and mine,
and the fortunes of others. Where has the money
gone? Listen, I implore you! I was excited just now
and said some unpleasant things, but I ask you to
forgive me! I know you must hate me, but if pity
exists for you, oh, put yourself in my place! I implore
you to give me the jewellery!”
“H’m—” said Pasha shrugging her shoulders. “I
should do it with pleasure, only I swear before God
he never gave me a thing. He didn’t, indeed. But,
no, you are right,” the singer suddenly stammered in
confusion. “He did give me two little things. Wait
a minute, I’ll fetch them for you if you want them.”
Pasha pulled out one of the drawers of her bureau,
and took from it a bracelet of hollow gold, and a narrow
ring set with a ruby.
“Here they are!” she said, handing them to her
visitor.
140The lady grew angry and a spasm passed over her
features. She felt that she was being insulted.
“What is this you are giving me?” she cried. “I’m
not asking for alms, but for the things that do not
belong to you, for the things that you have extracted
from my weak and unhappy husband by your position.
When I saw you on the wharf with him on
Thursday you were wearing costly brooches and bracelets.
Do you think you can play the innocent baby
with me? I ask you for the last time: will you give
me those presents or not?”
“You are strange, I declare,” Pasha exclaimed, beginning
to take offence. “I swear to you that I have
never had a thing from your Nikolai, except this
bracelet and ring. He has never given me anything,
but these and some little cakes.”
“Little cakes!” the stranger laughed suddenly.
“His children are starving at home, and he brings
you little cakes! So you won’t give up the things?”
Receiving no answer, the lady sat down, her eyes
grew fixed, and she seemed to be debating something.
“What shall I do?” she murmured. “If I can’t get
nine hundred roubles he will be ruined as well as the
children and myself. Shall I kill this creature, or shall
I go down on my knees to her?”
The lady pressed her handkerchief to her eyes and
burst into tears.
“Oh, I beseech you!” she sobbed. “It is you who
have disgraced and ruined my husband; now save him!
141You can have no pity for him, I know; but the children,
remember the children! What have they done
to deserve this?”
Pasha imagined his little children standing on the
street corner weeping with hunger, and she, too, burst
into tears.
“What can I do, my lady?” she cried. “You say
I am a wicked creature who has ruined your husband,
but I swear to you before God I have never had the
least benefit from him! Mota is the only girl in our
chorus who has a rich friend, the rest of us all live
on bread and water. Your husband is an educated,
pleasant gentleman, that’s why I received him. We
can’t pick and choose.”
“I want the jewellery; give me the jewellery! I
am weeping, I am humiliating myself; see, I shall fall
on my knees before you!”
Pasha screamed with terror and waved her arms.
She felt that this pale, beautiful lady, who spoke the
same refined language that people did in plays, might
really fall on her knees before her, and for the very
reason that she was so proud and high-bred, she would
exalt herself by doing this, and degrade the little
singer.
“Yes, yes, I’ll give you the jewellery!” Pasha cried
hastily, wiping her eyes. “Take it, but it did not
come from your husband! I got it from other visitors.
But take it, if you want it!”
Pasha pulled out an upper drawer of the bureau,
142and took from it a diamond brooch, a string of corals,
two or three rings, and a bracelet. These she handed
to the lady.
“Here is the jewellery, but I tell you again your husband
never gave me a thing. Take it, and may you
be the richer for having it!” Pasha went on, offended
by the lady’s threat that she would go down on her
knees. “You are a lady and his lawful wife—keep
him at home then! The idea of it! As if I had
asked him to come here! He came because he wanted
to!”
The lady looked through her tears at the jewellery
that Pasha had handed her and said:
“This isn’t all. There is scarcely five hundred
roubles’ worth here.”
Pasha violently snatched a gold watch, a cigarette-case,
and a set of studs out of the drawer and flung up
her arms, exclaiming:
“Now I am cleaned out! Look for yourself!”
Her visitor sighed. With trembling hands she
wrapped the trinkets in her handkerchief, and went
out without a word, without even a nod.
The door of the adjoining room opened and Kolpakoff
came out. His face was pale and his head was
shaking nervously, as if he had just swallowed a very
bitter draught. His eyes were full of tears.
“I’d like to know what you ever gave me!” Pasha
attacked him vehemently. “When did you ever give
me the smallest present?”
143“Presents—they are a detail, presents!” Kolpakoff
cried, his head still shaking. “Oh, my God, she wept
before you, she abased herself!”
“I ask you again: what have you ever given me?”
screamed Pasha.
“My God, she—a respectable, a proud woman, was
actually ready to fall on her knees before—before
this—wench! And I have brought her to this! I
allowed it!”
He seized his head in his hands.
“No,” he groaned out, “I shall never forgive myself
for this—never! Get away from me, wretch!”
he cried, backing away from Pasha with horror, and
keeping her off with outstretched, trembling hands.
“She was ready to go down on her knees, and before
whom?—Before you! Oh, my God!”
He threw on his coat and, pushing Pasha contemptuously
aside, strode to the door and went out.
Pasha flung herself down on the sofa and burst into
loud wails. She already regretted the things she had
given away so impulsively, and her feelings were hurt.
She remembered that a merchant had beaten her three
years ago for nothing, yes, absolutely for nothing, and
at that thought she wept louder than ever.
144
This is what generally follows a grand loss at cards
or a drinking-bout, when his indigestion begins to
make itself felt. Stepan Jilin wakes up in an uncommonly
gloomy frame of mind. He looks sour, ruffled,
and peevish, and his grey face wears an expression
partly discontented, partly offended, and partly sneering.
He dresses deliberately, slowly drinks his vichy
water, and begins roaming about the house.
“I wish to goodness I knew what br-rute goes through
here leaving all the doors open!” he growls angrily,
wrapping his dressing-gown about him and noisily
clearing his throat. “Take this paper away! What is
it lying here for? Though we keep twenty servants,
this house is more untidy than a hovel! Who rang
the bell? Who’s there?”
“Aunty Anfisa, who nursed our Fedia,” answers his
wife.
“Yes, loafing about, eating the bread of idleness!”
“I don’t understand you, Stepan; you invited her
here yourself and now you are abusing her!”
“I’m not abusing her. I’m talking! And you ought
to find something to do, too, good woman, instead of
sitting there with your hands folded, picking quarrels
145with your husband! I don’t understand a woman like
you, upon my word I don’t! How can you let day
after day go by without working? Here’s your husband
toiling and moiling like an ox, like a beast of burden,
and there you are, his wife, his life’s companion, sitting
about like a doll without ever turning your hand
to a thing, so bored that you must seize every opportunity
of quarrelling with him. It’s high time for you
to drop those schoolgirlish airs, madam! You’re not
a child nor a young miss any longer. You’re a woman,
a mother! You turn away, eh? Aha! You don’t
like disagreeable truths, do you?”
“It’s odd you only speak disagreeable truths when
you have indigestion!”
“That’s right, let’s have a scene; go ahead!”
“Did you go to town yesterday or did you play
cards somewhere?”
“Well, and what if I did? Whose business is it?
Am I accountable to any one? Don’t I lose my own
money? All that I spend and all that is spent in this
house is mine, do you hear that? Mine!”
And so he persists in the same strain. But Jilin is
never so crotchety, so stern, so bristling with virtue
and justice, as he is when sitting at dinner with his
household gathered about him. It generally begins
with the soup. Having swallowed his first spoonful,
Jilin suddenly scowls and stops eating.
“What the devil—” he mutters. “So I’ll have to
go to the café for lunch——”
146“What is it?” asks his anxious wife. “Isn’t the
soup good?”
“I can’t conceive the swinish tastes a person must
have to swallow this mess! It is too salty, it smells of
rags, it is flavoured with bugs and not onions! Anfisa
Pavlovna!” he cries to his guest. “It is shocking! I
give them oceans of money every day to buy food
with, I deny myself everything, and this is what they
give me to eat! No doubt they would like me to retire
from business into the kitchen and do the cooking
myself!”
“The soup is good to-day,” the governess timidly
ventures.
“Is it? Do you find it so?” inquires Jilin scowling
angrily at her. “Every one to his taste, but I must
confess that yours and mine differ widely, Varvara
Vasilievna. You, for instance, admire the behavior
of that child there (Jilin points a tragic forefinger at
his son). You are in ecstasies over him, but I—I am
shocked! Yes, I am!”
Fedia, a boy of seven with a delicate, pale face,
stops eating and lowers his eyes. His cheeks grow
paler than ever.
“Yes, you are in ecstasies, and I am shocked. I
don’t know which of us is right, but I venture to think
that I, as his father, know my own son better than
you do. Look at the way he is sitting! Is that how
well-behaved children should hold themselves? Sit
up!”
147Fedia raises his chin and sticks out his neck and
thinks he is sitting up straighter. His eyes are filling
with tears.
“Eat your dinner! Hold your spoon properly!
Don’t dare to snuffle! Look me in the face!”
Fedia tries to look at him, but his lips are quivering
and the tears are trickling down his cheeks.
“Aha, so you’re crying? You’re naughty and that
makes you cry, eh? Leave the table and go and
stand in the corner, puppy!”
“But—do let him finish his dinner first!” his wife
intercedes for the boy.
“No—no dinner! Such a—such a naughty brat has
no right to eat dinner!”
Fedia makes a wry face, slides down from his chair,
and takes his stand in a corner.
“That’s the way to treat him,” his father continues.
“If no one else will take charge of his education
I must do it myself. I won’t have you being
naughty and crying at dinner, sir! Spoiled brat! You
ought to work, do you hear me? Your father works,
and you must work, too! No one may sponge on
others. Be a man, a M-A-N!”
“For Heaven’s sake, hush!” his wife beseeches him
in French. “At least don’t bite our heads off in public!
The old lady is listening to every word, and the whole
town will know of this, thanks to her.”
“I’m not afraid of the public!” retorts Jilin in
Russian. “Anfisa Pavlovna can see for herself that
148I’m speaking the truth. What, do you think I ought
to be satisfied with that youngster there? Do you
know how much he costs me? Do you know, you
worthless boy, how much you cost me? Or do you
think I can create money and that it falls into my lap
of its own accord? Stop bawling! Shut up! Do
you hear me or not? Do you want me to thrash you,
little wretch?”
Fedia breaks into piercing wails and begins sobbing.
“Oh, this is absolutely unbearable!” exclaims his
mother, throwing down her napkin and getting up
from the table. “He never lets us have our dinner in
peace. That’s where that bread of yours sticks!”
She points to her throat and, putting her handkerchief
to her eyes, leaves the dining-room.
“Her feelings are hurt,” mutters Jilin, forcing a
smile. “She has been too gently handled, Anfisa
Pavlovna, and that’s why she doesn’t like to hear the
truth. We are to blame!”
Several minutes elapse in silence. Jilin catches sight
of the dinner-plates and notices that the soup has not
been touched. He sighs deeply and glares at the
flushed and agitated face of the governess.
“Why don’t you eat your dinner, Varvara Vasilievna?”
he demands. “You’re offended, too, are
you? I see, you don’t like the truth either. Forgive
me, but it is my nature never to be hypocritical. I
always hit straight from the shoulder. (A sigh.) I
see, though, that my company is distasteful to you.
149No one can speak or eat in my presence. You ought
to have told me that sooner so that I could have left
you to yourselves. I am going now.”
Jilin rises and walks with dignity toward the door.
He stops as he passes the weeping Fedia.
“After what has happened just now you are fr-ee!”
he says to him with a lofty toss of the head. “I shall
no longer concern myself with your education. I
wash my hands of it. Forgive me if, out of sincere
fatherly solicitude for your welfare, I interfered with
you and your preceptresses. At the same time, I
renounce forever all responsibility for your future.”
Fedia wails and sobs more loudly than ever. Jilin
turns toward the door with a stately air and walks off
into his bedroom.
After his noonday nap Jilin is tormented by the
pangs of conscience. He is ashamed of his behaviour
to his wife, his son, and Anfisa Pavlovna, and feels
extremely uncomfortable on remembering what happened
at dinner. But his egotism is too strong for
him and he is not man enough to be truthful, so he
continues to grumble and sulk.
When he wakes up the following morning he feels
in the gayest of moods and whistles merrily at his
ablutions. On entering the dining-room for breakfast
he finds Fedia. The boy rises at the sight of his father
and gazes at him with troubled eyes.
“Well, how goes it, young man?” Jilin asks cheerfully
as he sits down to table. “What’s the news, old
150fellow? Are you all right, eh? Come here, you little
roly-poly, and give papa a kiss.”
Fedia approaches his father with a pale, serious face
and brushes his cheek with trembling lips. Then he
silently retreats and resumes his place at the table.
151
One Sunday morning they were burying the Collegiate
Assessor Kiril Ivanovitch, who had died
from the two ailments so common amongst us: drink and
a scolding wife. While the funeral procession was crawling
from the church to the cemetery, a certain Poplavski,
a colleague of the defunct civil servant, jumped
into a cab, and galloped off to fetch his friend Gregory
Zapoikin, a young but already popular man. As many
of my readers know, Zapoikin was the possessor of a
remarkable talent for making impromptu orations at
weddings, jubilee celebrations, and funerals. Whether
he was half-asleep, or fasting, or dead drunk, or in
a fever, he was always ready to make a speech. His
words always flowed from his lips as smoothly and
evenly and abundantly as water out of a rain-pipe, and
there were more heartrending expressions in his oratorical
vocabulary than there are black beetles in an
inn. His speeches were always eloquent and long, so
long that sometimes, especially at the weddings of
merchants, the aid of the police had to be summoned
to put a stop to them.
“I have come to carry you off with me, old chap,”
began Poplavski. “Put on your things this minute
and come along. One of our colleagues has kicked
152the bucket and we are about to despatch him into
the next world. We must have some sort of folderol
to see him off with, you know! All our hopes are
centred on you! If one of our little fellows had died,
we shouldn’t have troubled you; but, after all, this
one was an Assessor, a pillar of the state, one might
say. It wouldn’t do to bury a big fish like him without
some kind of an oration!”
“Ah, the Assessor is it?” yawned Zapoikin. “What,
that old soak?”
“Yes, that old soak! There will be pancakes and
caviar, you know, and you will get your cab-fare paid.
Come along, old man! Spout some of your Ciceronian
hyperboles over his grave and you’ll see the thanks
you’ll get from us all!”
Zapoikin consented to go with alacrity. He ruffled
his hair, veiled his features in gloom, and stepped out
with Poplavski into the street.
“I know that Assessor of yours!” he said, as he took
his seat in the cab. “He was a rare brute of a rascal,
God bless his soul!”
“Come, let dead men alone, Grisha!”
“Oh, of course, de mortuis nil nisi bonum, but that
doesn’t make him any less a rascal!”
The friends overtook the funeral cortège. It was
travelling so slowly that before it reached its destination
they had time to dash into a café three times to
drink a drop to the peace of the dead man’s soul.
At the cemetery the litany had already been sung.
153The mother-in-law, the wife, and the sister-in-law of
the departed were weeping in torrents. The wife even
shrieked as the coffin was lowered into the grave:
“Oh, let me go with him!” But she did not follow
her husband, probably because she remembered his
pension in time. Zapoikin waited until every sound
had ceased and then stepped forward, embraced the
whole crowd at a glance and began:
“Can we believe our eyes and our ears? Is this
not a terrible dream? What is this grave here? What
are these tear-stained faces, these sobs, these groans?
Alas, they are not a dream! He whom, but a short
time since we saw before us so valiant and brave,
endowed still with all the freshness of youth; he whom,
before our eyes, like the untiring bee, we saw carrying
his burden of honey to the universal hive of the
sovereign good, he whom—this man has now become
dust, a mirage! Pitiless death has laid his bony hand
upon him at a time when, notwithstanding the weight
of his years, he was still in the very bloom of his powers,
and radiant with hope. We have many a good servant
of the state here, but Prokofi Osipitch stood alone
among them all. He was devoted body and soul to
the accomplishment of his honourable duties; he
spared not his strength, and it may well be said of
him that he was always without fear and without
reproach. Ah, how he despised those who desired to
buy his soul at the expense of the public good; those
who, with the seductive blessings of earth, would fain
154have enticed him into a betrayal of the trusts confided
to him! Yea, before our very eyes we could see Prokofi
Osipitch giving his mite, his all, to comrades poorer
than himself, and you have heard for yourselves, but
a few moments since, the cries of the widows and
orphans who lived by the kindness of his great heart.
Engrossed in the duties of his post and in deeds of
charity, he knew no joy in this world. Yea, he even
forswore the happiness of family life. You know that
he remained a bachelor to the end of his days.
Who will take the place of this comrade of ours? I
can see at this moment his gentle, clean-shaven face
turned toward us with a benevolent smile. I seem to
hear the soft, friendly tones of his voice. Eternal
repose be to your soul, Prokofi Osipitch! Rest in peace,
noble, honourable toiler of ours!”
Zapoikin continued his oration, but his audience
had begun to whisper among themselves. The speech
pleased every one and called forth numerous tears,
but it seemed a little strange to many who heard it.
In the first place, they could not understand why the
speaker had referred to the dead man as “Prokofi Osipitch”
when his real name had been Kiril Ivanovitch.
In the second place, they all knew that the departed
and his wife had fought like cat and dog, and that
therefore he could hardly have been called a bachelor.
In the third place, he had worn a thick red beard,
and had never shaved in his life, therefore they could
not make out why their Demosthenes had spoken
155of him as being clean-shaven. They wondered and
looked at one another and shrugged their shoulders.
“Prokofi Osipitch!” the speaker continued with a
rapt look at the grave. “Prokofi Osipitch! You were
ugly of face, it is true, yea, you were almost uncouth;
you were gloomy and stern, but well we knew that
beneath that deceitful exterior of yours there beat a
warm and affectionate heart!”
The crowd was now beginning to notice something
queer about the orator himself. He was glaring intently
at some object near him and was shifting his
position uneasily. At last he suddenly stopped, his
jaw dropped with amazement, and he turned to Poplavski.
“Look here, that man’s alive!” he cried, his eyes
starting out of his head with horror.
“Who’s alive?”
“Why, Prokofi Osipitch! There he is now, standing
by that monument!”
“Of course he is! It was Kiril Ivanovitch that died,
not he!”
“But you said yourself it was the Assessor!”
“I know! And wasn’t Kiril Ivanovitch the Assessor?
Oh, you moon-calf! You have got them mixed up!
Of course Prokofi Osipitch used to be the Assessor, but
that was two years ago. He has been chief of a table
in chancery now for two years!”
“It’s simply the devil to keep up with all you
chaps!”
156“What are you stopping for? Go on! This is
getting too awkward!”
Zapoikin turned toward the grave, and continued
his oration with all his former eloquence. Yes, and
there near the monument stood Prokofi Osipitch, an
old civil servant with a clean-shaven face, frowning
and glaring furiously at the speaker.
“How in the world did you manage to do that?”
laughed the officials as they and Zapoikin drove home
from the cemetery together. “Ha! Ha! Ha! A
funeral oration for a live man!”
“You made a great mistake, young man!” growled
Prokofi Osipitch. “Your speech may have been appropriate
enough for a dead man, but for a live one it
was—it was simply a joke. Allow me to ask you,
what was it you said? ‘Without fear and without
reproach; he never took a bribe!’ Why, you couldn’t
say a thing like that about a live man unless you were
joking! And no one asked you to dwell upon my
personal appearance, young gentleman! ‘Ugly and
uncouth,’ eh! That may be quite true, but why did
you drag it in before every one in the city? I call it
an insult!”
157
If newcomers to the little provincial city of S. complained
that life there was monotonous and dull,
its inhabitants would answer that, on the contrary,
S. was a very amusing place, indeed, that it had a
library and a club, that balls were given there, and
finally, that very pleasant families lived there with
whom one might become acquainted. And they
always pointed to the Turkins as the most accomplished
and most enlightened family of all.
These Turkins lived in a house of their own, on
Main Street, next door to the governor. Ivan Turkin,
the father, was a stout, handsome, dark man with side-whiskers.
He often organized amateur theatricals for
charity, playing the parts of the old generals in them
and coughing most amusingly. He knew a lot of
funny stories, riddles, and proverbs, and loved to joke
and pun with, all the while, such a quaint expression
on his face that no one ever knew whether he was
serious or jesting. His wife Vera was a thin, rather
pretty woman who wore glasses and wrote stories and
novels which she liked to read aloud to her guests.
Katherine, the daughter, played the piano. In short,
each member of the family had his or her special
158talent. The Turkins always welcomed their guests
cordially and showed off their accomplishments to
them with cheerful and genial simplicity. The interior
of their large stone house was spacious, and, in
summer, delightfully cool. Half of its windows looked
out upon a shady old garden where, on spring evenings,
the nightingales sang. Whenever there were
guests in the house a mighty chopping would always
begin in the kitchen, and a smell of fried onions
would pervade the courtyard. These signs always
foretold a sumptuous and appetising supper.
So it came to pass that when Dimitri Ionitch Startseff
received his appointment as government doctor, and
went to live in Dialij, six miles from S., he too, as an
intelligent man, was told that he must not fail to make
the Turkins’ acquaintance. Turkin was presented to
him on the street one winter’s day; they talked of
the weather and the theatre and the cholera, and an
invitation from Turkin followed. Next spring, on
Ascension Day, after he had received his patients,
Startseff went into town for a little holiday, and to
make some purchases. He strolled along at a leisurely
pace (he had no horse of his own yet), and as he walked
he sang to himself:
“Before I had drunk those tears from Life’s cup——”
After dining in town he sauntered through the public
gardens, and the memory of Turkin’s invitation somehow
came into his mind. He decided to go to their
159house and see for himself what sort of people they
were.
“Be welcome, if you please!” cried Turkin, meeting
him on the front steps. “I am delighted, delighted
to see such a welcome guest! Come, let me introduce
you to the missus. I told him, Vera,” he continued,
presenting the doctor to his wife, “I told him that
no law of the Medes and Persians allows him to shut
himself up in his hospital as he does. He ought to
give society the benefit of his leisure hours, oughtn’t
he, dearest?”
“Sit down here,” said Madame Turkin, beckoning
him to a seat at her side. “You may flirt with me, if
you like. My husband is jealous, a regular Othello,
but we’ll try to behave so that he shan’t notice anything.”
“Oh, you little wretch, you!” murmured Turkin,
tenderly kissing her forehead. “You have come at a
very opportune moment,” he went on, addressing his
guest. “My missus has just written a splendiferous
novel and is going to read it aloud to-day.”
“Jean,” said Madame Turkin to her husband.
“Dites que l’on nous donne du thé.”
Startseff next made the acquaintance of Miss
Katherine, an eighteen-year old girl who much resembled
her mother. Like her, she was pretty and
slender; her expression was childlike still, and her
figure delicate and supple, but her full, girlish chest
spoke of spring and of the loveliness of spring. They
160drank tea with jam, honey, and sweetmeats and ate
delicious cakes that melted in the mouth. When
evening came other guests began to arrive, and Turkin
turned his laughing eyes on each one in turn exclaiming:
“Be welcome, if you please!”
When all had assembled, they took their seats in
the drawing-room, and Madame Turkin read her novel
aloud. The story began with the words: “The frost
was tightening its grasp.” The windows were open
wide, and sounds of chopping could be heard in the
kitchen, while the smell of fried onions came floating
through the air. Every one felt very peaceful sitting
there in those deep, soft armchairs, while the friendly
lamplight played tenderly among the shadows of
the drawing-room. On that evening of summer, with
the sound of voices and laughter floating up from the
street, and the scent of lilacs blowing in through the
open windows, it was hard to imagine the frost tightening
its grasp, and the setting sun illuminating with
its bleak rays a snowy plain and a solitary wayfarer
journeying across it. Madame Turkin read of how a
beautiful princess had built a school, and hospital, and
library in the village where she lived, and had fallen in
love with a strolling artist. She read of things that had
never happened in this world, and yet it was delightfully
comfortable to sit there and listen to her, while
such pleasant and peaceful dreams floated through
one’s fancy that one wished never to move again.
161“Not baddish!” said Turkin softly. And one of
the guests, who had allowed his thoughts to roam far,
far afield, said almost inaudibly:
“Yes—it is indeed!”
One hour passed, two hours passed. The town band
began playing in the public gardens, and a chorus of
singers struck up “The Little Torch.” After Madame
Turkin had folded her manuscript, every one sat silent
for five minutes, listening to the old folk-song telling of
things that happen in life and not in story-books.
“Do you have your stories published in the magazines?”
asked Startseff.
“No,” she answered. “I have never had anything
published. I put all my manuscripts away in a closet.
Why should I publish them?” she added by way of
explanation. “We don’t need the money.”
And for some reason every one sighed.
“And now, Kitty, play us something,” said Turkin
to his daughter.
Some one raised the top of the piano, and opened
the music which was already lying at hand. Katherine
struck the keys with both hands. Then she struck
them again with all her might, and then again and again.
Her chest and shoulders quivered, and she obstinately
hammered the same place, so that it seemed as if she
were determined not to stop playing until she had
beaten the keyboard into the piano. The drawing-room
was filled with thunder; the floor, the ceiling,
the furniture, everything rumbled. Katherine played
162a long, monotonous piece, interesting only for its intricacy,
and as Startseff listened, he imagined he saw
endless rocks rolling down a high mountainside. He
wanted them to stop rolling as quickly as possible, and
at the same time Katherine pleased him immensely,
she looked so energetic and strong, all rosy from her
exertions, with a lock of hair hanging down over her
forehead. After his winter spent among sick people
and peasants in Dialij, it was a new and agreeable sensation
to be sitting in a drawing-room watching that
graceful, pure young girl and listening to those noisy,
monotonous but cultured sounds.
“Well, Kitty, you played better than ever to-day!”
exclaimed Turkin, with tears in his eyes when his
daughter had finished and risen from the piano-stool.
“Last the best, you know!”
The guests all surrounded her exclaiming, congratulating,
and declaring that they had not heard such
music for ages. Kitty listened in silence, smiling a
little, and triumph was written all over her face.
“Wonderful! Beautiful!”
“Beautiful!” exclaimed Startseff, abandoning himself
to the general enthusiasm. “Where did you study
music? At the conservatory?” he asked Katherine.
“No, I haven’t been to the conservatory, but I am
going there very soon. So far I have only had lessons
here from Madame Zakivska.”
“Did you go to the high-school?”
“Oh, dear no!” the mother answered for her daughter.
163“We had teachers come to the house for her. She
might have come under bad influences at school, you
know. While a girl is growing up she should be under
her mother’s influence only.”
“I’m going to the conservatory all the same!” declared
Katherine.
“No, Kitty loves her mamma too much for that;
Kitty would not grieve her mamma and papa!”
“Yes, I am going!” Katherine insisted, playfully
and wilfully stamping her little foot.
At supper it was Turkin who showed off his accomplishments.
With laughing eyes, but with a serious
face he told funny stories, and made jokes, and asked
ridiculous riddles which he answered himself. He
spoke a language all his own, full of laboured, acrobatic
feats of wit, in the shape of such words as “splendiferous,”
“not baddish,” “I thank you blindly,” which
had clearly long since become a habit with him.
But this was not the end of the entertainment.
When the well-fed, well-satisfied guests had trooped
into the front hall to sort out their hats and canes they
found Pava the footman, a shaven-headed boy of
fourteen, bustling about among them.
“Come now, Pava! Do your act!” cried Turkin
to the lad.
Pava struck an attitude, raised one hand, and said
in a tragic voice:
“Die, unhappy woman!”
At which every one laughed.
164“Quite amusing!” thought Startseff, as he stepped
out into the street.
He went to a restaurant and had a glass of beer, and
then started off on foot for his home in Dialij. As he
walked he sang to himself:
“Your voice so languorous and soft——”
He felt no trace of fatigue after his six-mile walk,
and as he went to bed he thought that, on the contrary,
he would gladly have walked another fifteen
miles.
“Not baddish!” he remembered as he fell asleep,
and laughed aloud at the recollection.
After that Startseff was always meaning to go to
the Turkins’ again, but he was kept very busy in the
hospital, and for the life of him could not win an hour’s
leisure for himself. More than a year of solitude and
toil thus went by, until one day a letter in a blue envelope
was brought to him from the city.
Madame Turkin had long been a sufferer from headaches,
but since Kitty had begun to frighten her every
day by threatening to go away to the conservatory
her attacks had become more frequent. All the doctors
in the city had treated her and now, at last, it was the
country doctor’s turn. Madame Turkin wrote him a
165moving appeal in which she implored him to come,
and relieve her sufferings. Startseff went, and after
that he began to visit the Turkins often, very often.
The fact was, he did help Madame Turkin a little, and
she hastened to tell all her guests what a wonderful
and unusual physician he was, but it was not Madame
Turkin’s headaches that took Startseff to the house.
One evening, on a holiday, when Katherine had
finished her long, wearisome exercises on the piano,
they all went into the dining-room and had sat there
a long time drinking tea while Turkin told some
of those funny stories of his. Suddenly a bell rang.
Some one had to go to the front door to meet a newly
come guest, and Startseff took advantage of the momentary
confusion to whisper into Katherine’s ear
with intense agitation:
“For heaven’s sake come into the garden with me,
I beseech you! Don’t torment me!”
She shrugged her shoulders as if in doubt as to
what he wanted of her, but rose, nevertheless, and
went out with him.
“You play for three or four hours a day on the
piano, and then go and sit with your mother, and I
never have the slightest chance to talk to you. Give
me just one quarter of an hour, I implore you!”
Autumn was approaching, and the old garden, its
paths strewn with fallen leaves, was quiet and melancholy.
The early twilight was falling.
“I have not seen you for one whole week,” Startseff
166went on. “If you only knew what agony that has
been for me! Let us sit down. Listen to me!”
The favourite haunt of both was a bench under an
old spreading maple-tree. On this they took their seats.
“What is it you want?” asked Katherine in a hard,
practical voice.
“I have not seen you for one whole week. I have
not heard you speak for such a long time! I long
madly for the sound of your voice. I hunger for it!
Speak to me now!”
He was carried away by her freshness and the candid
expression of her eyes and cheeks. He even saw
in the fit of her dress something extraordinarily touching
and sweet in its simplicity and artless grace. And
at the same time, with all her innocence, she seemed
to him wonderfully clever and precocious for her years.
He could talk to her of literature or art or anything
he pleased and could pour out his complaints to her
about the life he led and the people he met, even if
she did sometimes laugh for no reason when he was
talking seriously, or jump up and run into the house.
Like all the young ladies in S., she read a great deal.
Most people there read very little, and, indeed, it was
said in the library that if it were not for the girls, and
the young Jews, the building might as well be closed.
This reading of Katherine’s was an endless source of
pleasure to Startseff. Each time he met her he would
ask her with emotion what she had been reading, and
would listen enchanted as she told him.
167“What have you read this week since we last saw
one another?” he now asked. “Tell me, I beg you.”
“I have been reading Pisemski.”
“What have you been reading of Pisemski’s?”
“‘The Thousand Souls,’” answered Kitty. “What
a funny name Pisemski had: Alexei Theofilaktitch!”
“Where are you going?” cried Startseff in terror as
she suddenly jumped up and started toward the house.
“I absolutely must speak to you. I want to tell you
something! Stay with me, if only for five minutes, I
implore you!”
She stopped as if she meant to answer him, and then
awkwardly slipped a note into his hand and ran away
into the house where she took her seat at the piano
once more.
“Meet me in the cemetery at Demetti’s grave to-night
at eleven,” Startseff read.
“How absurd!” he thought, when he had recovered
himself a little. “Why in the cemetery? What is
the sense of that?”
The answer was clear: Kitty was fooling. Who
would think seriously of making a tryst at night in a
cemetery far outside the city when it would have been
so easy to meet in the street or in the public gardens?
Was it becoming for him, a government doctor and a
serious-minded person, to sigh and receive notes and
wander about a cemetery, and do silly things that even
schoolboys made fun of? How would this little adventure
end? What would his friends say if they
168knew of it? These were Startseff’s reflections, as he
wandered about among the tables at the club that
evening, but at half past ten he suddenly changed his
mind and drove to the cemetery.
He had his own carriage and pair now, and a coachman
named Panteleimon in a long velvet coat. The
moon was shining. The night was still and mellow,
but with an autumnal softness. The dogs barked at
him as he drove through the suburbs and out through
the city gates. Startseff stopped his carriage in an
alley on the edge of the town and continued his way
to the cemetery on foot.
“Every one has his freaks,” he reflected. “Kitty
is freakish, too, and, who knows, perhaps she was not
joking and may come after all.”
He abandoned himself to this faint, groundless hope,
and it intoxicated him.
He crossed the fields for half a mile. The dark
band of trees in the cemetery appeared in the distance
like a wood or a large garden, then a white stone wall
loomed up before him, and soon, by the light of the
moon, Startseff was able to read the inscription over
the gate: “Thy hour also approacheth—” He went
in through a little side gate, and his eye was struck
first by the white crosses and monuments on either side
of a wide avenue, and by their black shadows and the
shadows of the tall poplars that bordered the walk.
Around him, on all sides, he could see the same
checkering of white and black, with the sleeping trees
169brooding over the white tombstones. The night did not
seem so dark as it had appeared in the fields. The
fallen leaves of the maples, like tiny hands, lay sharply
defined upon the sandy walks and marble slabs, and
the inscriptions on the tombstones were clearly legible.
Startseff was struck with the reflection that he now
saw for the first and perhaps the last time a world unlike
any other, a world that seemed to be the very cradle
of the soft moonlight, where there was no life, no, not a
breath of it; and yet, in every dark poplar, in every
grave he felt the presence of a great mystery promising
life, calm, beautiful, and eternal. Peace and sadness
and mercy rose with the scent of autumn from the
graves, the leaves, and the faded flowers.
Profoundest silence lay over all; the stars looked
down from heaven with deep humility. Startseff’s
footsteps sounded jarring and out of place. It was
only when the church-bells began to ring the hour, and
he imagined himself lying dead under the ground for
ever, that some one seemed to be watching him, and
he thought suddenly that here were not silence and
peace, but stifling despair and the dull anguish of nonexistence.
Demetti’s grave was a little chapel surmounted by
an angel. An Italian opera troupe had once come to
S., and one of its members had died there. She had
been buried here, and this monument had been erected
to her memory. No one in the city any longer remembered
her, but the shrine lamp hanging in the
170doorway sparkled in the moon’s rays and seemed to
be alight.
No one was at the grave, and who should come there
at midnight? Startseff waited, and the moonlight kindled
all the passion in him. He ardently painted in his
imagination the longed-for kiss and the embrace. He
sat down beside the monument for half an hour, and
then walked up and down the paths with his hat in
his hand, waiting and thinking. How many girls, how
many women, were lying here under these stones who
had been beautiful and enchanting, and who had loved
and glowed with passion in the night under the caresses
of their lovers! How cruelly does Mother Nature jest
with mankind! How bitter to acknowledge it! So
thought Startseff and longed to scream aloud that he
did not want to be jested with, that he wanted love at
any price. Around him gleamed not white blocks of
marble, but beautiful human forms timidly hiding
among the shadows of the trees. He felt keen anguish.
Then, as if a curtain had been drawn across the
scene, the moon vanished behind a cloud and darkness
fell about him. Startseff found the gate with difficulty
in the obscurity of the autumn night, and then
wandered about for more than an hour in search of
the alley where he had left his carriage.
“I am so tired, I am ready to drop,” he said to
Panteleimon.
And, as he sank blissfully into his seat, he thought:
“Oh dear, I must not get fat!”
171
On the evening of the following day Startseff drove
to the Turkins’ to make his proposal. But he proved
to have come at an unfortunate time, as Katherine
was in her room having her hair dressed by a coiffeur
before going to a dance at the club.
Once more Startseff was obliged to sit in the dining-room
for an age drinking tea. Seeing that his guest
was pensive and bored, Turkin took a scrap of paper
out of his waistcoat pocket, and read aloud a droll
letter from his German manager telling how “all the
disavowals on the estate had been spoiled and all
the modesty had been shaken down.”
“They will probably give her a good dowry,” thought
Startseff, listening vacantly to what was being read.
After his sleepless night he felt almost stunned, as
if he had drunk some sweet but poisonous sleeping
potion. His mind was hazy but warm and cheerful,
though at the same time a cold, hard fragment of his
brain kept reasoning with him and saying:
“Stop before it is too late! Is she the woman for
you? She is wilful and spoiled; she sleeps until two
every day, and you are a government doctor and a
poor deacon’s son.”
“Well, what does that matter?” he thought. “What
if I am?”
“And what is more,” that cold fragment continued.
172“If you marry her her family will make you give up
your government position, and live in town.”
“And what of that?” he thought. “I’ll live in
town then! She will have a dowry. We will keep
house.”
At last Katherine appeared, looking pretty and immaculate
in her low-necked ball dress, and the moment
Startseff saw her he fell into such transports that he
could not utter a word and could only stare at her
and laugh.
She began to say good-bye, and as there was nothing
to keep him here now that she was going, he, too, rose,
saying that it was time for him to be off to attend to
his patients in Dialij.
“If you must go now,” said Turkin, “you can take
Kitty to the club; it is on your way.”
A light drizzle was falling and it was very dark, so
that only by the help of Panteleimon’s cough could
they tell where the carriage was. The hood of the
victoria was raised.
“Roll away!” cried Turkin, seating his daughter in
the carriage. “Rolling stones gather no moss! God
speed you, if you please!”
They drove away.
“I went to the cemetery last night,” Startseff began.
“How heartless and unkind of you——”
“You went to the cemetery?”
“Yes, I did, and waited there for you until nearly
two o’clock. I was very unhappy.”
173“Then be unhappy if you can’t understand a
joke!”
Delighted to have caught her lover so cleverly, and
to see him so much in love, Katherine burst out laughing,
and then suddenly screamed as the carriage tipped
and turned sharply in at the club gates. Startseff
put his arm around her waist, and in her fright the
girl pressed closer to him. At that he could contain
himself no longer, and passionately kissed her on the
lips and on the chin, holding her tighter than ever.
“That will do!” she said drily.
And a moment later she was no longer in the carriage,
and the policeman standing near the lighted
entrance to the club was shouting to Panteleimon in
a harsh voice:
“Move on, you old crow! What are you standing
there for?”
Startseff drove home, but only to return at once
arrayed in a borrowed dress suit and a stiff collar that
was always trying to climb up off the collar-band.
At midnight he was sitting in the reception-room of
the club, saying passionately to Katherine:
“Oh, how ignorant people are who have never
loved! No one, I think, has ever truly described love,
and it would scarcely be possible to depict this
tender, blissful, agonising feeling. He who has once
felt it would never be able to put it into words. Do
I need introductions and descriptions? Do I need
oratory to tell me what it is? My love is unspeakable—I
174beg you, I implore you to be my wife!” cried
Startseff at last.
“Dimitri Ionitch,” said Katherine, assuming a very
serious, thoughtful expression. “Dimitri Ionitch, I
am very grateful to you for the honour you do me. I
esteem you, but—” here she rose and stood before him.
“But, forgive me, I cannot be your wife. Let us be
serious. You know, Dimitri Ionitch, that I love art
more than anything else in the world. I am passionately
fond of, I adore, music, and if I could I would consecrate
my whole life to it. I want to be a musician. I long
for fame and success and freedom and you ask me to
go on living in this town, and to continue this empty,
useless existence which has become unbearable to me!
You want me to marry? Ah no, that cannot be! One
should strive for a higher and brighter ideal, and
family life would tie me down for ever. Dimitri Ionitch—”
(she smiled a little as she said these words,
remembering Alexei Theofilaktitch) “Dimitri Ionitch,
you are kind and noble and clever, you are the nicest
man I know” (her eyes filled with tears). “I sympathise
with you with all my heart, but—but you
must understand——”
She turned away and left the room, unable to restrain
her tears.
Startseff’s heart ceased beating madly. His first
action on reaching the street was to tear off his stiff
collar and draw a long, deep breath. He felt a little
humiliated, and his pride was stung, for he had not expected
175a refusal, and could not believe that all his
hopes and pangs and dreams had come to such a
silly ending; he might as well have been the hero of
a playlet at a performance of amateur theatricals!
He regretted his lost love and emotion, regretted it so
keenly that he could have sobbed aloud or given
Panteleimon’s broad back a good, sound blow with
his umbrella.
For three days after that evening his business went
to ruin, and he could neither eat nor sleep, but when
he heard a rumour that Katherine had gone to Moscow
to enter the conservatory he grew calmer, and once
more gathered up the lost threads of his life.
Later, when he remembered how he had wandered
about the cemetery and rushed all over town looking
for a dress suit, he would yawn lazily and say:
“What a business that was!”
Four years went by. Startseff now had a large practice
in the city. He hastily prescribed for his sick
people every morning at Dialij, and then drove to
town to see his patients there, returning late at night.
He had grown stouter and heavier, and would not
walk, if he could help it, suffering as he did from
asthma. Panteleimon, too, had become stouter, and
the more he grew in width the more bitterly he sighed
and lamented his hard lot: he was so tired of driving!
176Startseff was now an occasional guest at several
houses, but he had made close friends with no one. The
conversation, the point of view, and even the looks of
the inhabitants of S. bored him. Experience had taught
him that as long as he played cards, or dined with them,
they were peaceful, good-natured, and even fairly intelligent
folk, but he had only to speak of anything
that was not edible, he had only to mention politics
or science to them, for them to become utterly nonplussed,
or else to talk such foolish and mischievous
nonsense that there was nothing to be done but to
shrug one’s shoulders and leave them. If Startseff
tried to say to even the most liberal of them that, for
instance, mankind was fortunately progressing, and
that in time we should no longer suffer under a system
of passports and capital punishment, they would look at
him askance, and say mistrustfully: “Then one will be
able to kill any one one wants to on the street, will one?”
Or if at supper, in talking about work, Startseff said
that labour was a good thing, and every one should
work, each person present would take it as a personal
affront and begin an angry and tiresome argument.
As they never did anything and were not interested
in anything, and as Startseff could never for the life of
him think of anything to say to them, he avoided all
conversation and confined himself to eating and playing
cards. If there was a family fête at one of the
houses and he was asked to dinner, he would eat in
silence with his eyes fixed on his plate, listening to all
177the uninteresting, false, stupid things that were being
said around him and feeling irritated and bored. But
he would remain silent, and because he always sternly
held his tongue and never raised his eyes from his
plate, he was known as “the puffed-up Pole,” although
he was no more of a Pole than you or I. He shunned
amusements, such as theatres and concerts, but he
played cards with enjoyment for two or three hours
every evening. There was one other pleasure to which
he had unconsciously, little by little, become addicted,
and that was to empty his pockets every evening of
the little bills he had received in his practice during
the day. Sometimes he would find them scattered
through all his pockets, seventy roubles’ worth of them,
yellow ones and green ones, smelling of scent, and
vinegar, and incense, and kerosene. When he had
collected a hundred or more he would take them to
the Mutual Loan Society, and have them put to his
account.
In all the four years following Katherine’s departure,
he had only been to the Turkins’ twice, each time at
the request of Madame Turkin, who was still suffering
from headaches. Katherine came back every summer
to visit her parents, but he did not see her once;
chance, somehow, willed otherwise.
And so four years had gone by. One warm, still
morning a letter was brought to him at the hospital.
Madame Turkin wrote that she missed Dimitri Ionitch
very much and begged him to come without fail and
178relieve her sufferings, especially as it happened to be
her birthday that day. At the end of the letter was
a postscript: “I join my entreaties to those of my
mother. K.”
Startseff reflected a moment, and in the evening he
drove to the Turkins’.
“Ah, be welcome, if you please!” Turkin cried with
smiling eyes. “Bonjour to you!”
Madame Turkin, who had aged greatly and whose
hair was now white, pressed his hand and sighed
affectedly, saying:
“You don’t want to flirt with me I see, doctor, you
never come to see me. I am too old for you, but here
is a young thing, perhaps she may be more lucky than
I am!”
And Kitty? She had grown thinner and paler and
was handsomer and more graceful than before, but
she was Miss Katherine now, and Kitty no longer.
Her freshness, and her artless, childish expression were
gone; there was something new in her glance and
manner, something timid and apologetic, as if she no
longer felt at home here, in the house of the Turkins.
“How many summers, how many winters have
gone by!” she said, giving her hand to Startseff, and
one could see that her heart was beating anxiously.
She looked curiously and intently into his face, and
continued: “How stout you have grown! You look
browner and more manly, but otherwise you haven’t
changed much.”
179She pleased him now as she had pleased him before,
she pleased him very much, but something seemed to
be wanting in her—or was it that there was something
about her which would better have been lacking? He
could not say, but he was prevented, somehow, from
feeling toward her as he had felt in the past. He did
not like her pallor, the new expression in her face, her
weak smile, her voice, and, in a little while, he did
not like her dress and the chair she was sitting in, and
something displeased him about the past in which he
had nearly married her. He remembered his love and
the dreams and hopes that had thrilled him four years
ago, and at the recollection he felt awkward.
They drank tea and ate cake. Then Madame Turkin
read a story aloud, read of things that had never
happened in this world, while Startseff sat looking at
her handsome grey head, waiting for her to finish.
“It is not the people who can’t write novels who are
stupid,” he thought. “But the people who write them
and can’t conceal it.”
“Not baddish!” said Turkin.
Then Katherine played a long, loud piece on the
piano, and when she had finished every one went into
raptures and overwhelmed her with prolonged expressions
of gratitude.
“It’s a good thing I didn’t marry her!” thought
Startseff.
She looked at him, evidently expecting him to invite
her to go into the garden, but he remained silent.
180“Do let us have a talk!” she said going up to him.
“How are you? What are you doing? Tell me about
it all! I have been thinking about you for three days,”
she added nervously. “I wanted to write you a letter,
I wanted to go to see you myself at Dialij, and then
changed my mind. I have no idea how you will treat
me now. I was so excited waiting for you to-day. Do
let us go into the garden!”
They went out and took their seats under the old
maple-tree, where they had sat four years before.
Night was falling.
“Well, and what have you been doing?” asked
Katherine.
“Nothing much; just living somehow,” answered
Startseff.
And that was all he could think of saying. They
were silent.
“I am so excited!” said Katherine, covering her
face with her hands. “But don’t pay any attention
to me. I am so glad to be at home, I am so glad to
see every one again that I cannot get used to it. How
many memories we have between us! I thought you
and I would talk without stopping until morning!”
He saw her face and her shining eyes more closely
now, and she looked younger to him than she had in
the house. Even her childish expression seemed to
have returned. She was gazing at him with naïve
curiosity, as if she wanted to see and understand more
clearly this man who had once loved her so tenderly
181and so unhappily. Her eyes thanked him for his love.
And he remembered all that had passed between them
down to the smallest detail, remembered how he had
wandered about the cemetery and had gone home exhausted
at dawn. He grew suddenly sad and felt sorry
to think that the past had vanished for ever. A little
flame sprang up in his heart.
“Do you remember how I took you to the club that
evening?” he asked. “It was raining and dark——”
The little flame was burning more brightly, and
now he wanted to talk and to lament his dull life.
“Alas!” he sighed. “You ask what I have been
doing! What do we all do here? Nothing! We grow
older and fatter and more sluggish. Day in, day out our
colourless life passes by without impressions, without
thoughts. It is money by day and the club by night,
in the company of gamblers and inebriates whom I
cannot endure. What is there in that?”
“But you have your work, your noble end in life.
You used to like so much to talk about your hospital.
I was a queer girl then, I thought I was a great pianist.
All girls play the piano these days, and I played, too;
there was nothing remarkable about me. I am as
much of a pianist as mamma is an author. Of course
I didn’t understand you then, but later, in Moscow,
I often thought of you. I thought only of you. Oh,
what a joy it must be to be a country doctor, to help
the sick and to serve the people! Oh, what a joy!”
Katherine repeated with exaltation. “When I thought
182of you while I was in Moscow you seemed to me to be
so lofty and ideal——”
Startseff remembered the little bills which he took
out of his pockets every evening with such pleasure,
and the little flame went out.
He rose to go into the house. She took his arm.
“You are the nicest person I have ever known in
my life,” she continued. “We shall see one another
and talk together often, shan’t we? Promise me that!
I am not a pianist, I cherish no more illusions about
myself, and shall not play to you or talk music to you
any more.”
When they had entered the house, and, in the evening
light, Startseff saw her face and her melancholy
eyes turned on him full of gratitude and suffering, he
felt uneasy and thought again:
“It’s a good thing I didn’t marry her!”
He began to take his leave.
“No law of the Medes and Persians allows you to
go away before supper!” cried Turkin, accompanying
him to the door. “It is extremely peripatetic on your
part. Come, do your act!” he cried to Pava as they
reached the front hall.
Pava, no longer a boy, but a young fellow with a
moustache, struck an attitude, raised one hand, and
said in a tragic voice:
“Die, unhappy woman!”
All this irritated Startseff, and as he took his seat
in his carriage and looked at the house and the dark
183garden that had once been so dear to him, he was
overwhelmed by the recollection of Madame Turkin’s
novels and Kitty’s noisy playing and Turkin’s witticisms
and Pava’s tragic pose, and, as he recalled
them, he thought:
“If the cleverest people in town are as stupid as
that, what a deadly town this must be!”
Three days later Pava brought the doctor a letter
from Katherine.
“You don’t come to see us; why?” she wrote. “I
am afraid your feeling for us has changed, and the
very thought of that terrifies me. Calm my fears;
come and tell me that all is well! I absolutely must
see you.
He read the letter, reflected a moment, and said to
Pava:
“Tell them I can’t get away to-day, my boy. Tell
them I’ll go to see them in three days’ time.”
But three days went by, a week went by, and still
he did not go. Every time that he drove past the
Turkins’ house he remembered that he ought to drop
in there for a few minutes; he remembered it and—did
not go.
He never went to the Turkins’ again.
184
Several years have passed since then. Startseff is
stouter than ever now, he is even fat. He breathes
heavily and walks with his head thrown back. The
picture he now makes, as he drives by with his troika
and his jingling carriage-bells, is impressive. He is
round and red, and Panteleimon, round and red, with
a brawny neck, sits on the box with his arms stuck
straight out in front of him like pieces of wood, shouting
to every one he meets: “Turn to the right!” It is
more like the passage of a heathen god than of a man.
He has an immense practice in the city, there is no
time for repining now. He already owns an estate
in the country and two houses in town, and is thinking
of buying a third which will be even more remunerative
than the others. If, at the Mutual Loan Society,
he hears of a house for sale he goes straight to it, enters
it without more ado, and walks through all the rooms
not paying the slightest heed to any women or children
who may be dressing there, though they look
at him with doubt and fear. He taps all the doors
with his cane and asks:
“Is this the library? Is this a bedroom? And what
is this?”
And he breathes heavily as he says it and wipes the
perspiration from his forehead.
Although he has so much business on his hands, he
185still keeps his position of government doctor at Dialij.
His acquisitiveness is too strong, and he wants to find
time for everything. He is simply called “Ionitch”
now, both in Dialij and in the city. “Where is Ionitch
going?” the people ask, or “Shall we call in Ionitch
to the consultation?”
His voice has changed and has become squeaky and
harsh, probably because his throat is obstructed with
fat. His character, too, has changed and he has
grown irascible and crusty. He generally loses his temper
with his patients and irritably thumps the floor
with his stick, exclaiming in his unpleasant voice:
“Be good enough to confine yourself to answering
my questions! No conversation!”
He is lonely, he is bored, and nothing interests
him.
During all his life in Dialij his love for Kitty had
been his only happiness, and will probably be his last.
In the evening he plays cards in the club, and then
sits alone at a large table and has supper. Ivan, the
oldest and most respectable of the waiters, waits upon
him and pours out his glass of Lafitte No. 17. Every
one at the club, the officers and the chef and the
waiters, all know what he likes and what he doesn’t
like and strive with might and main to please him,
for if they don’t he will suddenly grow angry and
begin thumping the floor with his cane.
After supper he occasionally relents and takes part
in a conversation.
186“What were you saying? What? Whom did you
say?”
And if the conversation at a neighbouring table
turns on the Turkins, he asks:
“Which Turkins do you mean? The ones whose
daughter plays the piano?”
That is all that can be said of Startseff.
And the Turkins? The father has not grown old,
and has not changed in any way. He still makes
jokes and tells funny stories. The mother still reads
her novels aloud to her guests, with as much pleasure
and genial simplicity as ever. Kitty practises the
piano for four hours every day. She has grown conspicuously
older, is delicate, and goes to the Crimea
every autumn with her mother. As he bids them
farewell at the station, Turkin wipes his eyes and
cries as the train moves away:
“God speed you, if you please!”
And he waves his handkerchief after them.
187
“What shall I write?” asked Yegor, dipping
his pen in the ink.
Vasilissa had not seen her daughter for four years.
Efimia had gone away to St. Petersburg with her
husband after her wedding, had written two letters,
and then had vanished as if the earth had engulfed
her, not a word nor a sound had come from her since.
So now, whether the aged mother was milking the
cow at daybreak, or lighting the stove, or dozing at
night, the tenor of her thoughts was always the same:
“How is Efimia? Is she alive and well?” She wanted
to send her a letter, but the old father could not write,
and there was no one whom they could ask to write
it for them.
But now Christmas had come, and Vasilissa could
endure the silence no longer. She went to the tavern
to see Yegor, the innkeeper’s wife’s brother, who had
done nothing but sit idly at home in the tavern since
he had come back from military service, but of whom
people said that he wrote the most beautiful letters, if
only one paid him enough. Vasilissa talked with the
cook at the tavern, and with the innkeeper’s wife, and
finally with Yegor himself, and at last they agreed on
a price of fifteen copecks.
188So now, on the second day of the Christmas festival,
Yegor was sitting at a table in the inn kitchen with
a pen in his hand. Vasilissa was standing in front of
him, plunged in thought, with a look of care and sorrow
on her face. Her husband, Peter, a tall, gaunt old
man with a bald, brown head, had accompanied her.
He was staring steadily in front of him like a blind
man; a pan of pork that was frying on the stove was
sizzling and puffing, and seeming to say: “Hush, hush,
hush!” The kitchen was hot and close.
“What shall I write?” Yegor asked again.
“What’s that?” asked Vasilissa, looking at him
angrily and suspiciously. “Don’t hurry me! You
are writing this letter for money, not for love! Now
then, begin. To our esteemed son-in-law, Andrei
Khrisanfitch, and our only and beloved daughter
Efimia, we send greetings and love, and the everlasting
blessing of their parents.”
“All right, fire away!”
“We wish them a happy Christmas. We are alive
and well, and we wish the same for you in the
name of God, our Father in heaven—our Father
in heaven——”
Vasilissa stopped to think, and exchanged glances
with the old man.
“We wish the same for you in the name of God,
our Father in Heaven—” she repeated and burst into
tears.
That was all she could say. Yet she had thought,
189as she had lain awake thinking night after night, that
ten letters could not contain all she wanted to say.
Much water had flowed into the sea since their daughter
had gone away with her husband, and the old people
had been as lonely as orphans, sighing sadly in the
night hours, as if they had buried their child. How
many things had happened in the village in all these
years! How many people had married, how many
had died! How long the winters had been, and how
long the nights!
“My, but it’s hot!” exclaimed Yegor, unbuttoning
his waistcoat. “The temperature must be seventy!
Well, what next?” he asked.
The old people answered nothing.
“What is your son-in-law’s profession?”
“He used to be a soldier, brother; you know that,”
replied the old man in a feeble voice. “He went into
military service at the same time you did. He used
to be a soldier, but now he is in a hospital where a
doctor treats sick people with water. He is the doorkeeper
there.”
“You can see it written here,” said the old woman,
taking a letter out of her handkerchief. “We got this
from Efimia a long, long time ago. She may not be
alive now.”
Yegor reflected a moment, and then began to write
swiftly.
“Fate has ordained you for the military profession,”
he wrote, “therefore we recommend you to look into
190the articles on disciplinary punishment and penal laws
of the war department, and to find there the laws of
civilisation for members of that department.”
When this was written he read it aloud whilst Vasilissa
thought of how she would like to write that there
had been a famine last year, and that their flour had
not even lasted until Christmas, so that they had been
obliged to sell their cow; that the old man was often
ill, and must soon surrender his soul to God; that
they needed money—but how could she put all this
into words? What should she say first and what last?
“Turn your attention to the fifth volume of military
definitions,” Yegor wrote. “The word soldier is a
general appellation, a distinguishing term. Both the
commander-in-chief of an army and the last infantryman
in the ranks are alike called soldiers——”
The old man’s lips moved and he said in a low voice:
“I should like to see my little grandchildren!”
“What grandchildren?” asked the old woman
crossly. “Perhaps there are no grandchildren.”
“No grandchildren? But perhaps there are! Who
knows?”
“And from this you may deduce,” Yegor hurried
on, “which is an internal, and which is a foreign enemy.
Our greatest internal enemy is Bacchus——”
The pen scraped and scratched, and drew long, curly
lines like fish-hooks across the paper. Yegor wrote at
full speed and underlined each sentence two or three
times. He was sitting on a stool with his legs stretched
191far apart under the table, a fat, lusty creature with a
fiery nape and the face of a bulldog. He was the very
essence of coarse, arrogant, stiff-necked vulgarity,
proud to have been born and bred in a pot-house, and
Vasilissa well knew how vulgar he was, but could not
find words to express it, and could only glare angrily
and suspiciously at him. Her head ached from the
sound of his voice and his unintelligible words, and
from the oppressive heat of the room, and her mind
was confused. She could neither think nor speak, and
could only stand and wait for Yegor’s pen to stop
scratching. But the old man was looking at the writer
with unbounded confidence in his eyes. He trusted
his old woman who had brought him here, he trusted
Yegor, and, when he had spoken of the hydropathic
establishment just now, his face had shown that he
trusted that, and the healing power of its waters.
When the letter was written, Yegor got up and read
it aloud from beginning to end. The old man understood
not a word, but he nodded his head confidingly,
and said:
“Very good. It runs smoothly. Thank you kindly,
it is very good.”
They laid three five-copeck pieces on the table and
went out. The old man walked away staring straight
ahead of him like a blind man, and a look of utmost
confidence lay in his eyes, but Vasilissa, as she left
the tavern, struck at a dog in her path and exclaimed
angrily:
192“Ugh—the plague!”
All that night the old woman lay awake full of restless
thoughts, and at dawn she rose, said her prayers,
and walked eleven miles to the station to post the
letter.
Doctor Moselweiser’s hydropathic establishment was
open on New Year’s Day as usual; the only difference
was that Andrei Khrisanfitch, the doorkeeper, was
wearing unusually shiny boots and a uniform trimmed
with new gold braid, and that he wished every one
who came in a happy New Year.
It was morning. Andrei was standing at the door
reading a paper. At ten o’clock precisely an old general
came in who was one of the regular visitors of
the establishment. Behind him came the postman.
Andrei took the general’s cloak, and said:
“A happy New Year to your Excellency!”
“Thank you, friend, the same to you!”
And as he mounted the stairs the general nodded
toward a closed door and asked, as he did every day,
always forgetting the answer:
“And what is there in there?”
“A room for massage, your Excellency.”
When the general’s footsteps had died away, Andrei
looked over the letters and found one addressed to
him. He opened it, read a few lines, and then, still
looking at his newspaper, sauntered toward the little
193room down-stairs at the end of a passage where he and
his family lived. His wife Efimia was sitting on the
bed feeding a baby, her oldest boy was standing at
her knee with his curly head in her lap, and a third
child was lying asleep on the bed.
Andrei entered their little room, and handed the
letter to his wife, saying:
“This must be from the village.”
Then he went out again, without raising his eyes
from his newspaper, and stopped in the passage not
far from the door. He heard Efimia read the first
lines in a trembling voice. She could go no farther,
but these were enough. Tears streamed from her eyes
and she threw her arms round her eldest child and
began talking to him and covering him with kisses.
It was hard to tell whether she was laughing or crying.
“This is from granny and granddaddy,” she cried—“from
the village—oh, Queen of Heaven!—Oh! holy
saints! The roofs are piled with snow there now—and
the trees are white, oh, so white! The little children
are out coasting on their dear little sleddies—and granddaddy
darling, with his dear bald head is sitting by the
big, old, warm stove, and the little brown doggie—oh,
my precious chickabiddies——”
Andrei remembered as he listened to her that his
wife had given him letters at three or four different
times, and had asked him to send them to the village,
but important business had always interfered, and the
letters had remained lying about unposted.
194“And the little white hares are skipping about in
the fields now—” sobbed Efimia, embracing her boy
with streaming eyes. “Granddaddy dear is so kind and
good, and granny is so kind and so full of pity. People’s
hearts are soft and warm in the village.—There
is a little church there, and the men sing in the choir.
Oh, take us away from here, Queen of Heaven! Intercede
for us, merciful mother!”
Andrei returned to his room to smoke until the
next patient should come in, and Efimia suddenly
grew still and wiped her eyes; only her lips quivered.
She was afraid of him, oh, so afraid! She quaked and
shuddered at every look and every footstep of his, and
never dared to open her mouth in his presence.
Andrei lit a cigarette, but at that moment a bell
rang up-stairs. He put out his cigarette, and assuming
a very solemn expression, hurried to the front door.
The old general, rosy and fresh from his bath, was
descending the stairs.
“And what is there in there?” he asked, pointing
to a closed door.
Andrei drew himself up at attention, and answered
in a loud voice:
“The hot douche, your Excellency.”
195
It was ten o’clock at night. Stepan, the coachman,
Mikailo, the house porter, Aliosha the coachman’s
grandson who was visiting his grandfather, and the
old herring-vender Nikander who came peddling his
wares every evening were assembled around a lantern
in the large coach house playing cards. The door stood
open and commanded a view of the whole courtyard
with the wide double gates, the manor-house, the ice
and vegetable cellars, and the servants’ quarters. The
scene was wrapped in the darkness of night, only four
brilliantly lighted windows blazed in the wing of the
house, which had been rented to tenants. The carriages
and sleighs, with their shafts raised in the air,
threw from the walls to the door long, tremulous
shadows which mingled with those cast by the players
around the lantern. In the stables beyond stood the
horses, separated from the coach house by a light
railing. The scent of hay hung in the air, and Nikander
exhaled an unpleasant odour of herring.
They were playing “Kings.”
“I am king!” cried the porter, assuming a pose
which he thought befittingly regal, and blowing his
nose loudly with a red and white checked handkerchief.
196“Come on! Who wants to have his head cut
off?”
Aliosha, a boy of eight with a rough shock of blond
hair, who had lacked but two tricks of being a king
himself, now cast eyes of resentment and envy at the
porter. He pouted and frowned.
“I’m going to lead up to you, grandpa,” he said,
pondering over his cards. “I know you must have
the queen of hearts.”
“Come, little stupid, stop thinking and play!”
Aliosha irresolutely led the knave of hearts. At
that moment a bell rang in the courtyard.
“Oh, the devil—” muttered the porter rising. “The
king must go and open the gate.”
When he returned a few moments later Aliosha was
already a prince, the herring-man was a soldier, and
the coachman was a peasant.
“It’s a bad business in there,” said the porter resuming
his seat. “I have just seen the doctor off.
They didn’t get it out.”
“Huh! How could they? All they did, I’ll be bound,
was to make a hole in his head. When a man has
a bullet in his brain it’s no use to bother with doctors!”
“He is lying unconscious,” continued the porter.
“He will surely die. Aliosha, don’t look at my cards,
lambkin, or you’ll get your ears boxed. Yes, it was
out with the doctor, and in with his father and mother;
they have just come. The Lord forbid such a crying
197and moaning as they are carrying on! They keep
saying that he was their only son. It’s a pity!”
All, except Aliosha who was engrossed in the game,
glanced up at the lighted windows.
“We have all got to go to the police station to-morrow,”
said the porter. “There is going to be an
inquest. But what do I know about it? Did I see
what happened? All I know is that he called me
this morning, and gave me a letter and said: ‘Drop
this in the letter-box.’ And his eyes were all red with
crying. His wife and children were away; they had
gone for a walk. So while I was taking his letter to
the mail he shot himself in the forehead with a revolver.
When I came back his cook was already shrieking at
the top of her lungs.”
“He committed a great sin!” said the herring-man
in a hoarse voice, wagging his head. “A great
sin.”
“He went crazy from knowing too much,” said the
porter, picking up a trick. “He used to sit up at night
writing papers—play, peasant! But he was a kind
gentleman, and so pale and tall and black-eyed! He
was a good tenant.”
“They say there was a woman at the bottom of
it,” said the coachman, slapping a ten of trumps on
a king of hearts. “They say he was in love with another
man’s wife, and had got to dislike his own. That
happens sometimes.”
“I crown myself king!” exclaimed the porter.
198The bell in the courtyard rang again. The victorious
monarch spat angrily and left the coach house.
Shadows like those of dancing couples were flitting to
and fro across the windows of the wing. Frightened
voices and hurrying footsteps were heard.
“The doctor must have come back,” said the coachman.
“Our Mikailo is running.”
A strange, wild scream suddenly rent the air.
Aliosha looked nervously first at his grandfather,
and then at the windows, and said:
“He patted me on the head yesterday, and asked
me where I was from. Grandfather, who was that
howling just now?”
His grandfather said nothing, and turned up the
flame of the lantern.
“A man has died,” he said with a yawn. “His soul
is lost and his children are lost. This will be a disgrace
to them for the rest of their lives.”
The porter returned, and sat down near the lantern.
“He is dead!” he said. “The old women from the
almshouse have been sent for.”
“Eternal peace and the kingdom of heaven be his!”
whispered the coachman crossing himself.
Aliosha also crossed himself with his eyes on his
grandfather.
“You mustn’t pray for souls like his,” the herring-man
said.
“Why not?”
“Because it’s a sin.”
199“That’s the truth,” the porter agreed. “His soul
has gone straight to the Evil One in hell.”
“It’s a sin,” repeated the herring-man. “Men like
him are neither shriven nor buried in church, but
shovelled away like carrion.”
The old man got up, and slung his sack across his
shoulder.
“It happened that way with our general’s lady,”
he said, adjusting the pack on his back. “We were
still serfs at that time, and her youngest son shot himself
in the head just as this one did, from knowing too
much. The law says that such people must be buried
outside the churchyard without a priest or a requiem.
But to avoid the disgrace, our mistress greased the
palms of the doctors and the police, and they gave her
a paper saying that her son had done it by accident
when he was crazy with fever. Money can do anything.
So he was given a fine funeral with priests and
music, and laid away under the church that his father
had built with his own money, where the rest of the
family were. Well, friends, one month passed, and
another month passed, and nothing happened. But
during the third month our mistress was told that the
church watchmen wanted to see her. ‘What do they
want?’ she asked. The watchmen were brought to her,
and they fell down at her feet. ‘Your ladyship!’ they
cried. ‘We can’t watch there any longer. You must
find some other watchmen, and let us go!’ ‘Why?’
she asked. ‘No!’ they said. ‘We can’t possibly
200stay. Your young gentleman howls under the church
all night long.’”
Aliosha trembled and buried his face in his grandfather’s
back so as not to see those shining windows.
“At first our mistress wouldn’t listen to their complaints,”
the old man went on. “She told them they
were silly to be afraid of ghosts, and that a dead man
couldn’t possibly howl. But in a few days the watchmen
came back, and the deacon came with them. He, too,
had heard the corpse howling. Our mistress saw that
the business was bad, so she shut herself up in her
room with the watchmen and said to them: ‘Here are
twenty-five roubles for you, my friends. Go into the
church quietly at night when no one can hear you,
and dig up my unhappy son, and bury him outside
the churchyard.’ And she probably gave each man
a glass of something to drink. So the watchmen did
as she told them. The tombstone with its inscription
lies under the church to-day, but the general’s son is
buried outside the churchyard. Oh, Lord, forgive us
poor sinners!” sighed the herring-man. “There is
only one day a year on which one can pray for such
souls as his, and that is on the Saturday before Trinity
Sunday. It’s a sin to give food to beggars in their
name, but one may feed the birds for the peace of
their souls. The general’s widow used to go out to
the crossroads every three days, and feed the birds.
One day a black dog suddenly appeared at the crossroads,
gobbled up the bread, and took to his heels.
201She knew who it was! For three days after that our
mistress was like a mad woman; she refused to take
food or drink, and every now and then she would suddenly
fall down on her knees in the garden, and pray.
But I’ll say good night now, my friends. God and
the Queen of Heaven be with you! Come Mikailo,
open the gate for me.”
The herring-man and the porter went out, and the
coachman and Aliosha followed them so as not to be
left alone in the coach house.
“The man was living and now he is dead,” the coachman
reflected, gazing at the windows across which the
shadows were still flitting. “This morning he was
walking about the courtyard, and now he is lying there
lifeless.”
“Our time will come, too,” said the porter as he
walked away with the herring-man and was lost with
him in the darkness.
The coachman, followed by Aliosha, timidly approached
the house and looked in. A very pale woman,
her large eyes red with tears, and a handsome
grey-haired man were moving two card-tables into
the middle of the room; some figures scribbled in
chalk on their green baize tops were still visible. The
cook, who had shrieked so loudly that morning was
now standing on tiptoe on a table trying to cover a
mirror with a sheet.
“What are they doing, grandpa?” Aliosha asked
in a whisper.
202“They are going to lay him on those tables soon,”
answered the old man. “Come, child, it’s time to go
to sleep.”
The coachman and Aliosha returned to the coach
house. They said their prayers and took off their
boots. Stepan stretched himself on the floor in a
corner, and Aliosha climbed into a sleigh. The doors
had been shut, and the newly extinguished lantern
filled the air with a strong smell of smoking oil. In a
few minutes Aliosha raised his head, and stared about
him; the light from those four windows was shining
through the cracks of the door.
“Grandpa, I’m frightened!” he said.
“There, there, go to sleep!”
“But I tell you I’m frightened!”
“What are you afraid of, you spoiled baby?”
Both were silent.
Suddenly Aliosha jumped out of the sleigh, burst
into tears, and rushed to his grandfather weeping
loudly.
“What is it? What’s the matter?” cried the startled
coachman, jumping up, too.
“He’s howling!”
“Who’s howling?”
“I’m frightened, grandpa! Can’t you hear him?”
“That is some one crying,” his grandfather answered.
“Go back to sleep, little silly. They are sad
and so they are crying.”
“I want to go home!” the boy persisted, sobbing
203and trembling like a leaf. “Grandpa, do let us go
home to mamma. Let us go, dear grandpa! God
will give you the kingdom of heaven if you will take
me home!”
“What a little idiot it is! There, there, be still,
be still. Hush, I’ll light the lantern, silly!”
The coachman felt for the matches, and lit the
lantern, but the light did not calm Aliosha.
“Grandpa, let’s go home!” he implored, weeping.
“I’m so frightened here! Oh, oh, I’m so frightened!
Why did you send for me to come here, you hateful
man?”
“Who is a hateful man? Are you calling your own
grandfather names? I’ll beat you for that!”
“Beat me, grandpa, beat me like Sidorov’s goat,
only take me back to mamma! Oh, do! do!...”
“There, there, child, hush!” the coachman whispered
tenderly. “No one is going to hurt you, don’t
be afraid. Why, I’m getting frightened myself! Say
a prayer to God!”
The door creaked and the porter thrust his head
into the coach house.
“Aren’t you asleep yet, Stepan?” he asked. “I
can’t get any sleep to-night, opening and shutting the
gate every minute. Why, Aliosha, what are you crying
about?”
“I’m frightened,” answered the coachman’s grandson.
Again that wailing voice rang out. The porter said:
204“They are crying. His mother can’t believe her
eyes. She is carrying on terribly.”
“Is the father there, too?”
“Yes, he’s there, but he’s quiet. He’s sitting in a
corner, and not saying a word. The children have
been sent to their relatives. Well, Stepan, shall we
have another game?”
“Come on!” the coachman assented. “Go and
lie down, Aliosha, and go to sleep. Why you’re old
enough to think of getting married, you young rascal,
and there you are bawling! Run along, child, run
along!”
The porter’s presence calmed Aliosha; he went
timidly to his sleigh and lay down. As he fell asleep
he heard a whispering:
“I take the trick,” his grandfather murmured.
“I take the trick,” the porter repeated.
The bell rang in the courtyard, the door creaked
and seemed to say:
“I take the trick!”
When Aliosha saw the dead master in his dreams,
and jumped up weeping for fear of his eyes, it was
already morning. His grandfather was snoring, and
the coach house no longer seemed full of terror.
205
One late afternoon, ten years ago, the examining
magistrate, Peter Sergeitch, and I rode to the
station together at hay-making time to fetch the mail.
The weather was superb, but as we were riding
home we heard thunder growling, and saw an angry
black cloud coming straight toward us. The storm
was approaching and we were riding into its very
teeth. Our house and the village church were gleaming
white upon its breast, and the tall, silvery poplars
were glistening against it. The scent of rain and of
new-mown hay hung in the air. My companion was in
high spirits, laughing and talking the wildest nonsense.
“How splendid it would be,” he cried, “if we
should suddenly come upon some antique castle of
the Middle Ages with towers battlemented, moss-grown,
and owl-haunted, where we could take refuge
from the storm and where a bolt of lightning would
end by striking us!”
But at that moment the first wave swept across the
rye and oat fields, the wind moaned, and whirling dust
filled the air. Peter Sergeitch laughed and spurred his
horse.
“How glorious!” he cried. “How glorious!”
His gay mood was infectious. I, too, laughed to
206think that in another moment we should be wet to the
skin, and perhaps struck by lightning.
The blast and the swift pace thrilled us, and set our
blood racing; we caught our breath against the gale
and felt like flying birds.
The wind had fallen when we rode into our courtyard,
and heavy drops of rain were drumming on the
roof and lawn. The stable was deserted.
Peter Sergeitch himself unsaddled the horses, and led
them into their stalls. I stood at the stable door
waiting for him, watching the descent of the slanting
sheets of rain. The sickly sweet scent of hay was
even stronger here than it had been in the fields. The
air was dark with thunder-clouds and rain.
“What a flash!” cried Peter Sergeitch coming to my
side after an especially loud, rolling thunderclap that,
it seemed, must have cleft the sky in two. “Well?”
He stood on the threshold beside me breathing
deeply after our swift ride, with his eyes fixed on my
face. I saw that his glance was full of admiration.
“Oh, Natalia!” he cried. “I would give anything
on earth to be able to stand here for ever looking at
you. You are glorious to-day.”
His look was both rapturous and beseeching, his
face was pale, and drops of rain were glistening on his
beard and moustache; these, too, seemed to be looking
lovingly at me.
“I love you!” he cried. “I love you and I am happy
because I can see you. I know that you cannot be
207my wife, but I ask nothing, I desire nothing; only
know that I love you. Don’t answer me, don’t notice
me, only believe that you are very dear to me, and
suffer me to look at you.”
His ecstasy communicated itself to me. I saw his
rapt look, I heard the tones of his voice mingling with
the noise of the rain, and stood rooted to the spot as
if bewitched. I longed to look at those radiant eyes
and listen to those words for ever.
“You are silent! Good!” said Peter Sergeitch.
“Do not speak!”
I was very happy. I laughed with pleasure, and
ran through the pouring rain into the house. He
laughed too, and ran after me.
We burst in wet and panting and tramped noisily
up-stairs like two children. My father and brother,
unaccustomed to seeing me laughing and gay, looked
at me in surprise and began to laugh with us.
The storm blew over, the thunder grew silent, but
the rain-drops still glistened on Peter Sergeitch’s beard.
He sang and whistled and romped noisily with the dog
all the evening, chasing him through the house and
nearly knocking the butler carrying the samovar off his
feet. He ate a huge supper, talking all kinds of nonsense
the while, swearing that if you eat fresh cucumbers
in winter you can smell the spring in your nostrils.
When I went to my room I lit the candle and threw
the casement wide open. A vague sensation took hold
of me. I remembered that I was free and healthy,
208well-born and rich, and that I was beloved, but chiefly
that I was well-born and rich—well-born and rich!
Goodness, how delightful that was! Later, shrinking
into bed to escape the chill that came stealing in from
the garden with the dew, I lay and tried to decide
whether I loved Peter Sergeitch or not. Not being
able to make head or tail of the question, I went to
sleep.
Next morning when I awoke and saw the shadows
of the lindens and the trembling patches of sunlight
that played across my bed, the events of yesterday rose
vividly before me. Life seemed rich, and varied, and
full of beauty. I dressed quickly and ran singing into
the garden.
And then, what happened? Nothing! When winter
came and we moved to the city, Peter Sergeitch
seldom came to see us. Country acquaintances are
only attractive in the country. In town, in the winter,
they lose half their charm. When they come to call
they look as if they were wearing borrowed clothes,
and they stir their tea much too long. Peter Sergeitch
sometimes spoke of love, but his words did not sound
as enchanting as they had in the country. Here we felt
more keenly the barrier between us. I was titled and
rich; he was poor and was not even a noble, but an
examining magistrate, the son of a deacon. Both of
us—I because I was very young, and he, heaven
knows why—considered this barrier very great and
very high. He smiled affectedly when he was with us
209in town and criticised high society; if any one beside
himself was in the drawing-room he remained morosely
silent. There is no barrier so high but that it
may be surmounted, but, from what I have known
of him, the modern hero of romance is too timid, too
indolent and lazy, too finical and ready to accept the
idea that he is a failure cheated by life, to make the
struggle. Instead, he carps at the world, and calls it
vile, forgetting that his own criticism at last becomes
vile in itself.
I was beloved; happiness was near, seemed almost
to be walking at my side; my path was strewn with
roses, and I lived without trying to understand myself,
not knowing what I was expecting nor what I
demanded from life. And so time went on and on—Men
with their love passed near me; bright days and
warm nights flew by; the nightingales sang; the air
was sweet with new-mown hay—all these things, so
dear, so touching to remember, flashed by me swiftly,
unheeded, as they do by every one, leaving no trace
behind them, until they vanished like mist. Where is
it all now?
My father died; I grew older. All that had been so
enchanting, so gracious, so hope-inspiring; the sound
of rain, the rolling of thunder, dreams of happiness,
and words of love, all these grew to be a memory
alone. I now see before me a level, deserted plain,
bounded by a dark and terrible horizon, without a
living soul upon it.
210A bell rang. It was Peter Sergeitch. When I see the
winter trees, remembering how they decked themselves
in green for me in summer time, I whisper:
“Oh, you darling things!”
And when I see the people with whom I passed my
own springtime, my heart grows warm and sad, and
I whisper the same words.
Peter Sergeitch had moved to the city long ago
through the influence of my father. He was a little
elderly now, and a little stooping. It was long since
he had spoken any words of love, he talked no nonsense
now, and was dissatisfied with his occupation.
He was a little ailing, and a little disillusioned; he
snapped his fingers at life, and would have been glad
to have had it over. He took his seat in the chimney-corner
and looked silently into the fire. Not knowing
what to say, I asked:
“Well, what news have you?”
“None at all.”
Silence fell once more. The ruddy firelight played
across his melancholy features.
I remembered our past, and suddenly my shoulders
shook; I bent my head and wept bitterly. I felt unbearably
sorry for myself and for this man, and I
longed passionately for those things which had gone
by, and which life now denied us. I no longer cared
for my riches or my title.
I sobbed aloud with my head in my hands murmuring:
“My God, my God, our lives are ruined!”
211He sat silent and did not tell me not to weep. He
knew that tears must be shed, and that the time for
them had come. I read his pity for me in his eyes, and
I, too, pitied him and was vexed with this timid failure
who had not been able to mould his life or mine
aright.
As I bade him farewell in the hall he seemed purposely
to linger there, putting on his coat. He kissed
my hand in silence twice, and looked long into my
tear-stained face. I was sure that he was remembering
that thunder-storm, those sheets of rain, our laughter,
and my face as it had then been. He tried to say
something; he would have done so gladly, but nothing
came. He only shook his head and pressed my
hand—God bless him!
When he had gone, I went back into the study and
sat down on the carpet before the fire. Grey ashes
were beginning to creep over the dying embers. The
wintry blast was beating against the windows more
angrily than ever and chanting some tale in the
chimney.
The maid servant came in and called my name,
thinking that I had fallen asleep.
212
They left the city at half past eight.
The highway was dry and a splendid April sun
was beating fiercely down, but the snow still lay in
the woods and wayside ditches. The long, dark, cruel
winter was only just over, spring had come in a breath,
but to Maria Vasilievna driving along the road in a
cart there was nothing either new or attractive in the
warmth, or the listless, misty woods flushed with the
first heat of spring, or in the flocks of crows flying far
away across the wide, flooded meadows, or in the marvellous,
unfathomable sky into which one felt one could
sail away with such infinite pleasure. Maria Vasilievna
had been a school teacher for thirty years, and
it would have been impossible for her to count the
number of times she had driven to town for her salary,
and returned home as she was doing now. It mattered
not to her whether the season were spring, as now,
or winter, or autumn with darkness and rain; she invariably
longed for one thing and one thing only: a
speedy end to her journey.
She felt as if she had lived in this part of the world
for a long, long time, even a hundred years or more,
and it seemed to her that she knew every stone and
213every tree along the roadside between her school and
the city. Here lay her past and her present as well,
and she could not conceive of a future beyond her
school and the road and the city, and then the road
and her school again, and then once more the road
and the city.
Of her past before she had been a school teacher she
had long since ceased to think—she had almost forgotten
it. She had had a father and mother once,
and had lived with them in a large apartment near
the Red Gate in Moscow, but her recollection of that
life was as vague and shadowy as a dream. Her
father had died when she was ten years old, and her
mother had soon followed him. She had had a brother,
an officer, with whom she had corresponded at first, but
he had lost the habit of writing to her after a while,
and had stopped answering her letters. Of her former
belongings her mother’s photograph was now her only
possession, and this had been so faded by the dampness
of the school that her mother’s features had all
disappeared except the eyebrows and hair.
When they had gone three miles on their way old
daddy Simon, who was driving the cart, turned round
and said:
“They have caught one of the town officials and
have shipped him away. They say he killed the mayor
of Moscow with the help of some Germans.”
“Who told you that?”
“Ivan Ionoff read it in the paper at the inn.”
214For a long time neither spoke. Maria Vasilievna
was thinking of her school, and the coming examinations
for which she was preparing four boys and one
girl. And just as her mind was full of these examinations,
a landholder named Khanoff drove up with
a four-in-hand harnessed to an open carriage. It was
he who had held the examination in her school the
year before. As he drove up alongside her cart he
recognised her, bowed, and exclaimed:
“Good morning! Are you on your way home, may
I ask?”
Khanoff was a man of forty or thereabouts. His
expression was listless and blasé, and he had already
begun to age perceptibly, but he was handsome still
and admired by women. He lived alone on a large
estate; he had no business anywhere, and it was said
of him that he never did anything at home but walk
about and whistle, or else play chess with his old man
servant. It was also rumoured that he was a hard
drinker. Maria Vasilievna remembered that, as a
matter of fact, at the last examination even the papers
that he had brought with him had smelled of scent
and wine. Everything he had had on that day had
been new, and Maria Vasilievna had liked him very
much, and had even felt shy sitting there beside
him. She was used to receiving the visits of cold,
critical examiners, but this one did not remember a
single prayer, and did not know what questions he
ought to ask. He had been extremely considerate and
215polite, and had given all the children full marks for
everything.
“I am on my way to visit Bakvist” he now continued
to Maria Vasilievna. “Is it true that he is
away from home?”
They turned from the highway into a lane,
Khanoff in the lead, Simon following him. The four
horses proceeded at a foot-pace, straining to drag the
heavy carriage through the mud. Simon tacked
hither and thither across the road, first driving round
a bump, then round a puddle, and jumping down from
his seat every minute or so to give his horse a helpful
push. Maria Vasilievna continued to think about the
school, and whether the questions at the examinations
would be difficult or easy. She felt annoyed with the
board of the zemstvo, for she had been there yesterday,
and had found no one in. How badly it was managed!
Here it was two years since she had been asking to
have the school watchman discharged for loafing and
being rude to her and beating her scholars, and yet no
one had paid any heed to her request. The president
of the board was hardly ever in his office, and when he
was, would vow with tears in his eyes that he hadn’t
time to attend to her now. The school inspector came
only three times a year, and knew nothing about his
business anyway, as he had formerly been an exciseman,
and had obtained the office of inspector through
favour. The school board seldom met, and no one
ever knew where their meetings were held. The warden
216was an illiterate peasant who owned a tannery, a
rough and stupid man and a close friend of the watchman’s.
In fact, the Lord only knew whom one could
turn to to have complaints remedied and wrongs put
right!
“He really is handsome!” thought the schoolteacher
glancing at Khanoff.
The road grew worse and worse. They entered a
wood. There was no possibility of turning out of the
track here, the ruts were deep and full of gurgling,
running water. Prickly twigs beat against their
faces.
“What a road, eh?” cried Khanoff laughing.
The school teacher looked at him and marvelled that
this queer fellow should be living here.
“What good do his wealth, his handsome face, and
his fine culture do him in this God-forsaken mud and
solitude?” she thought. “He has abandoned any advantage
that fate may have given him, and is enduring
the same hardships as Simon, tramping with him along
this impossible road. Why does any one live here who
could live in St. Petersburg or abroad?”
And it seemed to her that it would be worth this
rich man’s while to make a good road out of this bad
one, so that he might not have to struggle with the
mud, and be forced to see the despair written on the
faces of Simon and his coachman. But he only laughed,
and was obviously absolutely indifferent to it all, asking
for no better life than this.
217“He is kind and gentle and unsophisticated,” Maria
Vasilievna thought again. “He does not understand
the hardships of life any more than he knew the suitable
prayers to say at the examination. He gives
globes to the school and sincerely thinks himself a
useful man and a conspicuous benefactor of popular
education. Much they need his globes in this wilderness!”
“Sit tight, Vasilievna!” shouted Simon.
The cart tipped violently to one side and seemed to
be falling over. Something heavy rolled down on
Maria Vasilievna’s feet, it proved to be the purchases
she had made in the city. They were crawling up a
steep, clayey hill now. Torrents of water were rushing
noisily down on either side of the track, and seemed to
have eaten away the road bed. Surely it would be
impossible to get by! The horses began to snort.
Khanoff jumped out of his carriage and walked along
the edge of the road in his long overcoat. He felt hot.
“What a road!” he laughed again. “My carriage
will soon be smashed to bits at this rate!”
“And who asked you to go driving in weather like
this?” asked Simon sternly. “Why don’t you stay at
home?”
“It is tiresome staying at home, daddy. I don’t
like it.”
He looked gallant and tall walking beside old Simon,
but in spite of his grace there was an almost imperceptible
something about his walk that betrayed a
218being already rotten at the core, weak, and nearing
his downfall. And the air in the woods suddenly
seemed to carry an odour of wine. Maria Vasilievna
shuddered, and began to feel sorry for this man who
for some unknown reason was going to his ruin. She
thought that if she were his wife or his sister she would
gladly give up her whole life to rescuing him from disaster.
His wife? Alas! He lived alone on his great
estate, and she lived alone in a forlorn little village,
and yet the very idea that they might one day become
intimate and equal seemed to her impossible and absurd.
Life was like that! And, at bottom, all human
relationships and all life were so incomprehensible
that if you thought about them at all dread would
overwhelm you and your heart would stop beating.
“And how incomprehensible it is, too,” she thought,
“that God should give such beauty and charm and
such kind, melancholy eyes to weak, unhappy, useless
people, and make every one like them so!”
“I turn off to the right here,” Khanoff said, getting
into his carriage. “Farewell! A pleasant journey to
you!”
And once more Maria Vasilievna’s thoughts turned
to her scholars, and the coming examinations, and the
watchman, and the school board, until a gust of wind
from the right bringing her the rumbling of the departing
carriage, other reveries mingled with these
thoughts, and she longed to dream of handsome eyes
and love and the happiness that would never be hers.
219She, a wife! Alas, how cold her little room was
early in the morning! No one ever lit her stove, because
the watchman was always away somewhere. Her
pupils came at daybreak, with a great noise, bringing in
with them mud and snow, and everything was so bleak
and so uncomfortable in her little quarters of one
small bedroom which also served as a kitchen! Her
head ached every day when school was over. She
was obliged to collect money from her scholars to buy
wood and pay the watchman, and then to give it to
that fat, insolent peasant, the warden, and beg him for
mercy’s sake to send her a load of wood. And at night
she would dream of examinations and peasants and
snow drifts. This life had aged and hardened her, and
she had grown plain and angular and awkward, as if
lead had been emptied into her veins. She was afraid
of everything, and never dared to sit down in the
presence of the warden or a member of the school
board. If she mentioned any one of them in his absence,
she always spoke of him respectfully as “his
Honour.” No one found her attractive; her life was
spent without love, without friendship, without acquaintances
who interested her. What a terrible calamity
it would be were she, in her situation, to fall
in love!
“Sit tight, Vasilievna!”
Once more they were crawling up a steep hill.
She had felt no call to be a teacher; want had forced
her to be one. She never thought about her mission
220in life or the value of education; the most important
things to her were, not her scholars nor their instruction,
but the examinations. And how could she think
of a mission, and of the value of education? School
teachers, and poor doctors, and apothecaries, struggling
with their heavy labours, have not even the consolation
of thinking that they are advancing an ideal,
and helping mankind. Their heads are too full of
thoughts of their daily crust of bread, their wood,
the bad roads, and their sicknesses for that. Their life
is tedious and hard. Only those stand it for any
length of time who are silent beasts of burden, like
Maria Vasilievna. Those who are sensitive and impetuous
and nervous, and who talk of their mission in
life and of advancing a great ideal, soon become exhausted
and give up the fight.
To find a dryer, shorter road, Simon sometimes
struck across a meadow or drove through a back-yard,
but in some places the peasants would not let him
pass, in others the land belonged to a priest; here the
road was blocked, there Ivan Ionoff had bought a
piece of land from his master and surrounded it with
a ditch. In such cases they had to turn back.
They arrived at Nijni Gorodishe. In the snowy,
grimy yard around the tavern stood rows of wagons
laden with huge flasks of oil of vitriol. A great crowd
of carriers had assembled in the tavern, and the air
reeked of vodka, tobacco, and sheepskin coats. Loud
talk filled the room, and the door with its weight and
pulley banged incessantly. In the tap room behind
221a partition some one was playing on the concertina
without a moment’s pause. Maria Vasilievna sat
down to her tea, while at a near-by table a group of
peasants saturated with tea and the heat of the room
were drinking vodka and beer.
A confused babel filled the room.
“Did you hear that, Kuzma? Ha! Ha! What’s
that? By God! Ivan Dementitch, you’ll catch it for
that! Look, brother!”
A small, black-bearded, pock-marked peasant, who
had been drunk for a long time, gave an exclamation
of surprise and swore an ugly oath.
“What do you mean by swearing, you!” shouted
Simon angrily from where he sat, far away at the
other end of the room. “Can’t you see there’s a lady
here?”
“A lady!” mocked some one from another corner.
“You pig, you!”
“I didn’t mean to do it—” faltered the little peasant
with embarrassment. “Excuse me! My money is as
good here as hers. How do you do?”
“How do you do?” answered the school teacher.
“Very well, thank you kindly.”
Maria Vasilievna enjoyed her tea, and grew as
flushed as the peasants. Her thoughts were once
more running on the watchman and the wood.
“Look there, brother!” she heard a voice at the
next table cry. “There’s the schoolmarm from Viasovia!
I know her! She’s a nice lady.”
“Yes, she’s a nice lady.”
222The door banged, men came and went. Maria Vasilievna
sat absorbed in the same thoughts that had occupied
her before, and the concertina behind the
partition never ceased making music for an instant.
Patches of sunlight that had lain on the floor when
she had come in had moved up to the counter, then
to the walls, and now had finally disappeared. So it
was afternoon. The carriers at the table next to hers
rose and prepared to leave. The little peasant went
up to Maria Vasilievna swaying slightly, and held out
his hand. The others followed him; all shook hands
with the school teacher, and went out one by one.
The door banged and whined nine times.
“Get ready, Vasilievna!” Simon cried.
They started again, still at a walk.
“A little school was built here in Nijni Gorodishe,
not long ago,” said Simon, looking back. “Some of
the people sinned greatly.”
“In what way?”
“It seems the president of the school board grabbed
one thousand roubles, and the warden another thousand,
and the teacher five hundred.”
“A school always costs several thousand roubles.
It is very wrong to repeat scandal, daddy. What you
have just told me is nonsense.”
“I don’t know anything about it. I only tell you
what people say.”
It was clear, however, that Simon did not believe
the school teacher. None of the peasants believed her.
223They all thought that her salary was too large (she
got twenty roubles a month, and they thought that
five would have been plenty), and they also believed
that most of the money which she collected from the
children for wood she pocketed herself. The warden
thought as all the other peasants did, and made a
little out of the wood himself, besides receiving secret
pay from the peasants unknown to the authorities.
But now, thank goodness, they had finally passed
through the last of the woods, and from here on their
road would lie through flat fields all the way to Viasovia.
Only a few miles more to go, and then they
would cross the river, and then the railway track, and
then they would be at home.
“Where are you going, Simon?” asked Maria Vasilievna.
“Take the right-hand road across the bridge!”
“What’s that? We can cross here. It isn’t very
deep.”
“Don’t let the horse drown!”
“What’s that?”
“There is Khanoff crossing the bridge!” cried Maria
Vasilievna, catching sight of a carriage and four in the
distance at their right. “Isn’t that he?”
“That’s him all right. He must have found Bakvist
away. My goodness, what a donkey to drive all the
way round when this road is two miles shorter!”
They plunged into the river. In summer time it was
a tiny stream, in late spring it dwindled rapidly to a
fordable river after the freshets, and by August it was
224generally dry, but during flood time it was a torrent of
swift, cold, turbid water some fifty feet wide. Fresh
wheel tracks were visible now on the bank leading
down to the water’s edge; some one, then, must have
crossed here.
“Get up!” cried Simon, madly jerking the reins
and flapping his arms like a pair of wings. “Get up!”
The horse waded into the stream up to his belly,
stopped, and then plunged on again, throwing his whole
weight into the collar. Maria Vasilievna felt a sharp
wave of cold water lap her feet.
“Go on!” she cried, rising in her seat. “Go on!”
They drove out on the opposite bank.
“Well, of all things! My goodness!” muttered
Simon. “What a worthless lot those zemstvo people
are——”
Maria Vasilievna’s goloshes and shoes were full of
water, and the bottom of her dress and coat and one
of her sleeves were soaked and dripping. Her sugar
and flour were wet through, and this was harder to
bear than all the rest. In her despair she could only
wave her arms, and cry:
“Oh, Simon, Simon! How stupid you are,
really——”
The gate was down when they reached the railway
crossing, an express train was leaving the station.
They stood and waited for the train to go by, and
Maria Vasilievna shivered with cold from head to
foot.
225Viasovia was already in sight; there was the school
with its green roof, and there stood the church with its
blazing crosses reflecting the rays of the setting sun.
The windows of the station were flashing, too, and a
cloud of rosy steam was rising from the engine. Everything
seemed to the school teacher to be shivering with
cold.
At last the train appeared. Its windows were blazing
like the crosses on the church, and their brilliance
was dazzling. A lady was standing on the platform
of one of the first-class carriages. One glance at her
as she slipped past, and Maria Vasilievna thought:
“My mother!” What a resemblance there was!
There was her mother’s thick and luxuriant hair;
there were her forehead and the poise of her head.
For the first time in all these thirty years Maria Vasilievna
saw in imagination her mother, her father, and
her brother in their apartment in Moscow, saw everything
down to the least detail, even to the globe of
goldfish in the sitting-room. She heard the strains of
a piano, and the sound of her father’s voice, and saw
herself young and pretty and gaily dressed, in a warm,
brightly lighted room with her family about her. Great
joy and happiness suddenly welled up in her heart,
and she pressed her hands to her temples in rapture,
crying softly with a note of deep entreaty in her voice:
“Mother!”
Then she wept, she could not have said why. At
that moment Khanoff drove up with his four-in-hand,
226and when she saw him she smiled and nodded to him
as if he and she were near and dear to each other,
for she was conjuring up in her fancy a felicity that
could never be hers. The sky, the trees, and the windows
of the houses seemed to be reflecting her happiness
and rejoicing with her. No! Her mother and father
had not died; she had never been a school teacher; all
that had been a long, strange, painful dream, and now
she was awake.
“Vasilievna! Sit down!”
And in a breath everything vanished. The gate
slowly rose. Shivering and numb with cold Maria
Vasilievna sat down in the cart again. The four-in-hand
crossed the track and Simon followed. The
watchman at the crossing took off his cap as they
drove by.
“Here is Viasovia! The journey is over!”
227
Early in April in the year 1870, my mother, Klavdia
Arhipovna, the widow of a lieutenant, received
a letter from her brother Ivan, a privy councillor in
St. Petersburg. Among other things the letter said:
“An affection of the liver obliges me to spend every
summer abroad, but as I have no funds this year with
which to go to Marienbad, it is very probable that I
may spend the coming summer with you at Kotchneffka,
dear sister——”
My mother turned pale and trembled from head to
foot as she perused this epistle, and an expression both
smiling and tearful came into her face. She began to
weep and to laugh. This conflict between laughter and
tears always reminds me of the glitter and shimmer
that follow when water is spilled on a brightly burning
candle. Having read the letter through twice, my
mother summoned her whole household together, and
in a voice quivering with excitement began explaining
to them that there had been four brothers in the
Gundasoff family; one had died when he was a baby; a
second had been a soldier, and had also died; a third,
she meant no offence to him in saying it, had become
an actor, and a fourth——
228“The fourth brother is not of our world,” sobbed
my mother. “He is my own brother, we grew up together,
and yet I am trembling all over at the thought
of him. He is a privy councillor, a general! How
can I meet my darling? What can a poor, uneducated
woman like me find to talk to him about? It is fifteen
years since I saw him last. Andrusha, darling!” cried
my mother turning to me. “Rejoice little stupid, it is
for your sake that God is sending him here!”
When we had all heard the history of the Gundasoff
family down to the smallest detail, there arose an uproar
on the farm such as I had not been accustomed
to hearing except before weddings. Only the vault of
heaven, and the water in the river escaped; everything
else was subjected to a process of cleaning, scrubbing,
and painting. If the sky had been smaller and lower,
and the river had not been so swift, they too would
have been scalded with boiling water and polished with
cloths. The walls were white as snow already, but they
were whitewashed again. The floors shone and
glistened, but they were scrubbed every day. Bobtail,
the cat (so-called because I had chopped off a good
portion of his tail with a carving-knife when I was a
baby), was taken from the house into the kitchen and
put in charge of Anfisa. Fedia was told that if the
dogs came anywhere near the front porch, “God would
punish him.” But nothing caught it so cruelly as did
the unfortunate sofas and carpets and chairs! Never
before had they been so unmercifully beaten with sticks
229as they now were in expectation of our guest’s arrival.
Hearing the blows, my doves fluttered anxiously about,
and at last flew away straight up into the very sky.
From Novostroevka came Spiridon, the only tailor
in the district who ventured to sew for the gentry.
He was a sober, hard-working, intelligent man, not
without some imagination and feeling for the plastic
arts, but he sewed abominably nevertheless. His
doubts always spoiled everything, for the idea that
his clothes were not fashionable enough made him cut
everything over five times at least. He used to go all
the way to the city on foot on purpose to see how the
young dandies were dressed, and then decked us in
costumes that even a caricaturist would have called
an exaggeration and a joke. We sported impossibly
tight trousers, and coats so short that we always felt
embarrassed whenever any young ladies were present.
Spiridon slowly took my measurements. He measured
me lengthways and crossways as if he were going
to fit me with barrel hoops, then wrote at length upon
a sheet of paper with a very thick pencil, and at last
marked his yardstick from end to end with little
triangular notches. Having finished with me, he began
upon my tutor Gregory Pobedimski. This unforgettable
tutor of mine was just at the age when men
anxiously watch the growth of their moustaches, and
are critical about their attire, so that you may imagine
with what holy terror Spiridon approached his person!
Pobedimski was made to throw his head back, and
230spread himself apart like a V upside down, now raising,
now lowering his arms. Spiridon measured him
several times, circling about him as a love-sick pigeon
circles about his mate; then he fell down on one knee,
and bent himself into the form of a hook. My mother,
weary and worn with all this bustle and faint from the
heat of her irons in the laundry, said as she watched
all these endless proceedings:
“Take care, Spiridon, God will call you to account
if you spoil the cloth! And you will be an unlucky
man if you don’t hit the mark this time!”
My mother’s words first threw Spiridon into a
sweat and then into a fever, for he was very sure that
he would not hit the mark. He asked one rouble and
twenty copecks for making my suit, and two roubles
for making my tutor’s. The cloth, the buttons, and
the linings were supplied by us. This cannot but
seem cheap enough, especially when you consider that
Novostroevka was six miles away, and that he came
to try on the clothes four different times. At these
fittings, as we pulled on our tight trousers and coats
all streaked with white basting threads, my mother
would look at our clothes, knit her brows with dissatisfaction
and exclaim:
“Goodness knows we have queer fashions these
days! I am almost ashamed to look at you! If my
brother did not live in St. Petersburg I declare I
wouldn’t have you dressed in the fashion!”
Spiridon, delighted that the fashions and not he
231were catching the blame, would shrug his shoulders,
and sigh, as much as to say:
“There is nothing to be done about it; it is the
spirit of the times!”
The trepidation with which we awaited the arrival
of our guest can only be compared to the excitement
that prevails among spiritualists when they are awaiting
the appearance of a spirit. My mother had a
headache, and burst into tears every minute. I lost my
appetite and my sleep, and did not study my lessons.
Even in my dreams I was devoured by my longing to
see a general, a man with epaulettes, an embroidered
collar reaching to his ears, and a naked sword in his
hand; in short, a person exactly like the general I saw
hanging over the sofa in our drawing-room glaring so
balefully with his terrible black eyes at any one who
ventured to look at him. Pobedimski alone felt at
ease. He neither trembled nor rejoiced, and all he said
as he listened to my mother’s stories of the Gundasoff
family was:
“Yes, it will be pleasant to talk with somebody new.”
My tutor was considered a very exceptional person
on our farm. He was a young man of twenty or thereabouts,
pimply, ragged, with a low forehead, and an
uncommonly long nose. In fact, this nose of his was
so long that if he wanted to look at anything closely
he had to put his head on one side like a bird. He had
gone through the six grades of the high-school, and
had then entered the Veterinary College, from which
232he had been expelled in less than six months. By
carefully concealing the reason of his expulsion, my
tutor gave every one who wished it an opportunity for
considering him a much-enduring and rather mysterious
person. He talked little, and when he did it was
always on learned subjects; he ate meat on fast-days,
and looked upon the life about him in a high and
mighty, contemptuous fashion, which, however, did
not prevent him from accepting presents from my
mother in the shape of suits of clothes, or from painting
funny faces with red teeth on my kites. My mother
did not like him on account of his “pride,” but she
had a deep respect for his learning.
We had not long to wait for our guest. Early in
May two wagons piled with huge trunks arrived from
the station. These trunks looked so majestic that the
coachman unconsciously took off his hat as he unloaded
them from the wagons.
“They must be full of uniforms and gunpowder!”
thought I.
Why gunpowder? Probably because in my mind
the idea of a general was closely connected with powder
and cannon.
When my nurse woke me on the morning of the
tenth of May, she announced in a whisper that my
“uncle had come!” I dressed hastily, washing anyhow
and forgetting my prayers, and scampered out
of my room. In the hall I ran straight into a tall,
stout gentleman with fashionable side-whiskers and
233an elegant overcoat. Swooning with horror, I drew
myself up before him, and remembering the ceremonial
taught me by my mother, I bowed deeply and attempted
to kiss his hand. But the gentleman would
not give me his hand to kiss, and stated that he was
not my uncle, but only Peter, my uncle’s valet. The
sight of this Peter, dressed a great deal better than
Pobedimski and myself, filled me with the profoundest
astonishment which, to tell the truth, has not left me
to this day. Is it possible that such grave, respectable
men as he, with such stern, intelligent faces can be
servants? Why should they be?
Peter told me that my uncle and mother were in
the garden, and I rushed thither as fast as my legs
could carry me.
Not knowing the history of the Gundasoff family
and my uncle’s rank, Nature felt a great deal freer and
less constrained than I did. There was an activity
in the garden such as one only sees at a country
fair. Countless magpies were cleaving the air and
hopping along the garden paths, chasing the mayflies
with noisy cries. A flock of crows was swarming in
the lilac bushes that thrust their delicate, fragrant
blossoms into my very face. From all sides came the
songs of orioles and the pipings of finches and blackbirds.
At any other time I should have darted off
after the grasshoppers or thrown stones at a crow that
was sitting on a low haycock under a wasp’s nest turning
its blunt bill from side to side. But this was no
234time for play. My heart was hammering and shivers
were running up and down my back. I was about to
see a man with epaulettes, a naked sword, and terrible
eyes!
Imagine, then, my disappointment! A slender little
dandy in a white silk shirt and a white military
cap was walking through the garden at my mother’s
side. Every now and then he would run on ahead
and, with his hands in his pockets and his head
thrown back, he looked like quite a young man.
There was so much life and vivacity in his whole
figure that the treachery of old age only became apparent
to me as I approached from behind, and, peeping
under his cap, saw the white hairs glistening beneath
the brim. Instead of a stolid, autocratic gravity
I saw in him an almost boyish nimbleness, and instead
of a collar to the ears he wore an ordinary light blue
necktie. My mother and uncle were walking up and
down the path, chatting together. I crept up softly
from behind and waited for one of them to turn round
and see me.
“What an enchanting place you have here, Klavdia!”
my uncle exclaimed. “How sweet and lovely
it all is! If I had known how beautiful it was nothing
could have taken me abroad all these years!”
My uncle stooped abruptly, and put his nose to a
tulip. Everything he saw was a source of curiosity
and delight to him, as if he had never seen a garden,
or a sunny day before in his life. The strange little
235man moved as if on springs and chattered incessantly,
not giving my mother a chance to put in a word. All
at once Pobedimski stepped out from behind an elder
bush at a turn of the path. His appearance was so
unexpected that my uncle started and fell back a step.
My tutor was dressed in his gala overcoat with a cape,
in which he looked exactly like a windmill, especially
from behind. His mien was majestic and triumphant.
With his hat held close to his chest in Spanish fashion
he took a step toward my uncle, and bowed forward
and slightly sideways like a marquis in a melodrama.
“I have the honour to present myself to your worshipful
highness,” he said in a loud voice. “I am a
pedagogue, the instructor of your nephew, and a former
student at the Veterinary College. My name is
Gregory Pobedimski, Esquire.”
My tutor’s beautiful manners pleased my mother
immensely. She smiled and fluttered with the sweet
expectation of his next brilliant sally, but my tutor
was waiting for my uncle to respond to his lofty bearing
with something equally lofty, and thought that
two fingers would be offered him with a “h’m—” befitting
a general. In consequence, he lost all his presence
of mind and was completely embarrassed when my
uncle smiled cordially and heartily pressed his hand.
Murmuring some incoherent phrases, my tutor coughed
and retired.
“Ha! Ha! Isn’t that beautiful?” laughed my
uncle. “Look at him. He has put on his wings, and
236is thinking what a clever fellow he is! I like that,
upon my word and honour, I do! What youthful
aplomb, what life there is in those silly wings! And
who is this boy?” he asked, suddenly turning round
and catching sight of me.
“This is my little Andrusha,” said my mother
blushing. “The comfort of my life.”
I put my foot behind me and bowed deeply.
“A fine little fellow, a fine little fellow!” murmured
my uncle taking his hand away from my lips,
and patting my head. “So your name is Andrusha?
Well, well—yes—upon my word and honour. Do you
go to school?”
My mother began to enumerate my triumphs of
learning and behaviour, adding to them and exaggerating
as all mothers do, while I walked at my uncle’s
side and did not cease from bowing deeply according
to the ceremonial we had agreed upon. When my
mother began hinting that with my remarkable attainments
it would not be amiss for me to enter the
military academy at the expense of the state, and
when, according to our plan, I should have burst into
tears and implored the patronage of my uncle, that
relative suddenly stopped short and threw up his
hands in astonishment.
“Heavens and earth, who is that?” he exclaimed.
Down the garden path came Tatiana, the wife of
our manager, Theodore Petrovitch. She was carrying
a white starched skirt and a long ironing board, and
237as she passed us she blushed and glanced shyly at our
guest from under her long lashes.
“Worse and worse!” said my uncle under his breath,
looking tenderly after her. “Why, sister, one can’t
take a step here without encountering some surprise,
upon my word and honour!”
Not every one would have called Tatiana beautiful.
She was a small, plump woman of twenty, graceful,
black-eyed, and always rosy and sweet, but in all her
face and figure there was not one strong feature, not
one bold line for the eye to rest upon. It was as if
in making her Nature had lacked confidence and inspiration.
Tatiana was shy and timid and well behaved.
She glided quietly along, saying little, seldom
laughing; her life was as even and smooth as her face
and her neatly brushed hair. My uncle half-closed
his eyes and smiled as he watched her. My mother
looked intently at his smiling face and grew serious.
“Oh, brother, why have you never married?” she
sighed.
“I have never married because——”
“Why not?” asked my mother softly.
“What shall I say? Because things did not turn
out that way. When I was young I worked too hard
to have time for enjoying life, and then, when I wanted
to live—behold! I had put fifty years behind me!
I was too slow. However, this is a tedious subject
for conversation!”
My mother and uncle sighed simultaneously, and
238walked on together while I stayed behind, and ran
to find my tutor in order to share my impressions
with him. Pobedimski was standing in the middle of
the courtyard gazing majestically at the sky.
“He is obviously an enlightened man,” he said,
wagging his head. “I hope we shall become friends.”
An hour later my mother came to us.
“Oh, boys, I’m in terrible trouble!” she began with
a sigh. “My brother has brought a valet with him,
you know, and he is not the sort of man, heaven help
him, whom one can put in the hall or the kitchen, he
absolutely must have a room of his own. Look here,
my children, couldn’t you move into the wing with
Theodore and give the valet your room?”
We answered that we should be delighted to do so,
for, we thought, life in the wing would be much freer
than in the house under the eyes of my mother.
“Yes, I’m terribly worried!” my mother continued.
“My brother says he doesn’t want to have his dinner
at noon, but at seven as they do in the city. I am
almost distracted. Why, by seven the dinner in the
stove will be burned to a crisp. The truth is men know
nothing about housekeeping, even if they are very
clever. Oh, misery me, I shall have to have two dinners
cooked every day! You must have yours at
noon as you always do, children, and let the old lady
wait until seven for her brother.”
My mother breathed a profound sigh, told me to
please my uncle whom God had brought here especially
239for my benefit, and ran into the kitchen. Pobedimski
and I moved into the wing that very same day.
We were put in a passage between the hall and the
manager’s bedroom.
In spite of my uncle’s arrival and our change of
quarters, our days continued to trickle by in their
usual way, more drowsily and monotonously than we
had expected. We were excused from our lessons “because
of our guest.” Pobedimski, who never read or
did anything, now spent most of his time sitting on his
bed absorbed in thought, with his long nose in the air.
Every now and then he would get up, try on his new
suit, sit down again, and continue his meditations.
One thing only disturbed him, and that was the flies,
whom he slapped unmercifully with the palms of his
hands. After dinner he would generally “rest,”
causing keen anguish to the whole household by his
snores. I played in the garden from morning till night,
or else sat in my room making kites. During the first
two or three weeks we saw little of my uncle. He
stayed in his room and worked for days on end, heeding
neither the flies nor the heat.
His extraordinary power of sitting as if glued to
his desk appeared to us something in the nature of an
inexplicable trick. To lazybones like ourselves, who
did not know the meaning of systematic work, his industry
appeared positively miraculous. Getting up
at nine, he would sit down at his desk, and not move
until dinner time. After dinner he would go to work
240once more, and work until late at night. Whenever
I peeped into his room through the keyhole I invariably
saw the same scene. My uncle would be
sitting at his desk and working. His work consisted
of writing with one hand while turning over the pages
of a book with the other, and strange as it may seem,
he constantly wriggled all over, swinging one foot like
a pendulum, whistling and nodding his head in time
to the music he made. His appearance at these times
was extraordinarily frivolous and careless, more as if
he were playing at naughts and crosses than working.
Each time I looked in I saw him wearing a dashing
little coat and a dandified necktie, and each time, even
through the keyhole, I could smell a sweet feminine
perfume. He emerged from his room only to dine, and
then ate scarcely anything.
“I can’t understand my brother,” my mother complained.
“Every day I have a turkey or some pigeons
killed especially for him, and stew some fruits for him
myself, and yet he drinks a little bouillon and eats a
piece of meat no larger than my finger, after which he
leaves the table at once. If I beg him to eat more he
comes back and drinks a little milk. What is there
in milk? It is slop, nothing more! He will die of
eating that kind of food! If I try to persuade him to
change his ways, he only laughs and makes a joke of
it! No, children, our fare doesn’t suit him!”
Our evenings passed much more pleasantly than
our days. As a rule the setting sun and the long
241shadows falling across the courtyard found Tatiana,
Pobedimski, and me seated on the porch of our wing.
We did not speak until darkness fell—what could we
talk about when everything had already been said?
There had been one novelty, my uncle’s arrival, but
that theme had soon become exhausted as well as the
others. My tutor constantly kept his eyes fixed on
Tatiana’s face and fetched one deep sigh after another.
At that time I did not understand the meaning of those
sighs, and did not seek to inquire into their cause, but
they explain much to me now.
When the shadows had merged into thick, black
darkness Theodore would come home from the hunt
or the field. This Theodore seemed to me to be a wild
and even fearsome man. He was the son of a Russianised
gipsy, and was swarthy and dark with large black
eyes and a tangled curly beard, and he was never spoken
of by our peasants as anything but “the demon.”
There was a great deal of the gipsy in him beside his
appearance. For instance, he never could stay at
home, and would vanish for days at a time, hunting in
the forest or roaming in the fields. He was gloomy,
passionate, taciturn, and fearless, and could never be
brought to acknowledge the authority of any one. He
spoke gruffly to my mother, addressed me familiarly
as “thou,” and treated Pobedimski’s learning with
contempt, but we forgave him everything, because
we considered that he had a morbidly excitable nature.
My mother liked him in spite of his gipsy ways, for
242he was ideally honest and hard working. He loved
his Tatiana passionately, in gipsy style, but his love
was a thing of gloom, almost of suffering. He never
caressed her in our presence, and only stared at her
fiercely with his mouth all awry.
On coming back from the fields he would furiously
slam down his gun on the floor of his room, and come
out on the porch to take his seat beside his wife.
When he had rested a while he would ask her a few
questions about the housekeeping, and then relapse
into silence.
“Let’s sing!” I used to suggest.
My tutor would tune his guitar, and in a thick,
deaconly voice would drone: “In Level Valleys.” We
would all chime in. My tutor sang bass, Theodore an
almost inaudible tenor, and I contralto in tune with
Tatiana.
When all the sky was strewn with stars, and the
frogs’ voices were hushed, our supper would be brought
to us from the kitchen, and we would go into the house
and fall to. My tutor and the gipsy ate ravenously,
munching so loudly that it was hard to tell whether
the noise came from the bones they were crunching or
the cracking of their jaws. Tatiana and I, on the
contrary, could scarcely manage to finish our portions.
After supper our wing of the house would sink
into deep slumber.
One evening at the end of May we were sitting on
the porch waiting for our supper. Suddenly a shadow
243flitted toward us, and Gundasoff appeared as if he had
sprung from the ground. He stared at us for a long
time, and then waved his hands and laughed gaily.
“How idyllic!” he cried. “Singing and dreaming
under the moon! It is beautiful, upon my word and
honour! May I sit here and dream with you?”
We silently looked at one another. My uncle sat
down on the lowest step, yawned, and gazed at the
sky. Pobedimski, who had long been intending to
have a conversation with this “new person,” was delighted
at the opportunity that now presented itself,
and was the first to break the silence. He had only
one subject for learned discussions, and that was the
epizooty. It sometimes happens that, out of a crowd
of thousands of persons with whom one is thrown, one
face alone remains fixed in the memory, and so it was
with Pobedimski. Out of all he had learned at the
Veterinary College he remembered only one sentence:
“Epizooty is the cause of much loss to the peasant
farmers. Every community should join hands with
the state in fighting this disease.”
Before saying this to Gundasoff, my tutor cleared
his throat three times, and excitedly wrapped his cape
around him. When my uncle had been informed concerning
the epizooty, he made a noise in his nose that
sounded like a laugh.
“How charming, upon my word and honour!” he
said under his breath, staring at us as if we were maniacs.
244“This is indeed life! This is real nature! Why
don’t you say something, Pelagia?” he asked of Tatiana.
Tatiana grew confused and coughed.
“Go on talking, friends! Sing! Play! Don’t waste
a moment! That rascal time goes fast and waits for
no man. Upon my word and honour, old age will be
upon you before you know it. It will be too late to
enjoy life then; so come, Pelagia, don’t sit there and
say nothing!”
At this point our supper was brought from the
kitchen. My uncle went into the house with us, and
ate five curd fritters and a duck’s wing for company.
He kept his eyes fixed on us while he despatched his
supper; we all filled his heart with enthusiasm and
emotion. Whatever silliness that unforgettable tutor
of mine was guilty of, whatever Tatiana did, was lovely
and charming in his eyes. When Tatiana quietly took
her knitting into a corner after supper, his eyes never
left her little fingers, and he babbled without a moment’s
pause.
“Friends, you must hurry and begin to enjoy life as
fast as you can!” he said. “For heaven’s sake, don’t
sacrifice the present to the future! You have youth
and health and passion now, and the future is deceitful—a
vapour! As soon as your twentieth year knocks
at the door, then begin to live!”
Tatiana dropped a needle. My uncle jumped up,
picked it up, and handed it to her with a bow, at which
I realised for the first time that there was some one
245in the world with manners more polished than Pobedimski’s.
“Yes,” my uncle continued. “Fall in love! Marry!
Be silly! Silliness is much more healthy and natural
than our toiling and striving to be sensible.”
My uncle talked much and long, and I sat on a
trunk in a corner listening to him and dozing. I felt
hurt because he had never once paid the least attention
to me. He left our wing of the house at two
o’clock that night, when I had given up the battle, and
sunk into profound slumber.
From that time on my uncle came to us every evening.
He sang with us and sat with us each night until
two o’clock, chatting without end always of the same
thing. He ceased his evening and nocturnal labours,
and by the end of July, when the privy councillor had
learned to eat my mother’s turkeys and stewed fruits,
his daytime toil was also abandoned. My uncle had
torn himself away from his desk and had entered into
“real life.” By day he walked about the garden whistling
and keeping the workmen from their work by
making them tell him stories. If he caught sight of
Tatiana he would run up to her, and, if she were carrying
anything, would offer to carry it for her, which
always embarrassed her dreadfully.
The farther summer advanced toward autumn the
more absent-minded and frivolous and lively my
uncle became. Pobedimski lost all his illusions about
him.
246“He is too one-sided,” he used to say. “Nothing
about him shows that he stands on the highest rung of
the official hierarchic ladder. He can’t even talk
properly. He says ‘upon my word and honour’ after
every word. No, I don’t like him!”
A distinct change came over my tutor and Theodore
from the time that my uncle began to visit us in our
wing. Theodore stopped hunting and began to come
home early. He grew more silent and stared more
ferociously than ever at his wife. My tutor stopped
talking of the epizooty in my uncle’s presence, and
now frowned and even smiled derisively at sight of
him.
“Here comes our little hop o’my thumb!” he once
growled, seeing my uncle coming toward our part of
the house.
This change in the behaviour of both men I explained
by the theory that Gundasoff had hurt their
feelings. My absent-minded uncle always confused
their names, and on the day of his departure had
not learned which was my tutor, and which was Tatiana’s
husband. Tatiana herself he sometimes called
Nastasia, sometimes Pelagia, sometimes Evdokia. Full
of affectionate enthusiasm as he was for us all, he
laughed at us and treated us as if we had been children.
All this, of course, might easily have offended the
young men. But, as I now see, this was not a question
of lacerated feelings; sentiments much more delicate
were involved.
247One night, I remember, I was sitting on the trunk
contending with my longing for sleep. A heavy glue
seemed to have fallen on my eyelids, and my body was
drooping sideways, exhausted by a long day’s playing,
but I tried to conquer my sleepiness, for I wanted to see
what was going on. It was nearly midnight. Gentle,
rosy, and meek as ever, Tatiana was sitting at a little
table sewing a shirt for her husband. From one corner
of the room Theodore was staring sternly and gloomily
at her, in another corner sat Pobedimski snorting
angrily, his head half buried in his high coat collar.
My uncle was walking up and down plunged in thought.
Silence reigned, broken only by the rustling of the linen
in Tatiana’s hands. Suddenly my uncle stopped in
front of Tatiana, and said:
“Oh, you are all so young and fresh and good, and
you live so peacefully in this quiet place that I envy
you! I have grown so fond of this life of yours that,
upon my honour, my heart aches when I remember
that some day I shall have to leave it all.”
Sleep closed my eyes and I heard no more. I was
awakened by a bang, and saw my uncle standing in
front of Tatiana, looking at her with emotion. His
cheeks were burning.
“My life is over and I have not lived,” he was saying.
“Your young face reminds me of my lost youth,
and I should be happy to sit here looking at you until
I died. I should like to take you with me to St. Petersburg.”
248“Why?” demanded Theodore in a hoarse voice.
“I should like to put you under a glass case on my
desk; I should delight in contemplating you, and showing
you to my friends. Do you know, Pelagia, that
we don’t have people like you where I live? We have
wealth and fame and sometimes beauty, but we have
none of this natural life and this wholesome peacefulness——”
My uncle sat down in front of Tatiana and took
her hand.
“So you won’t come with me to St. Petersburg?”
he laughed. “Then at least let me take this hand away
with me, this lovely little hand! You won’t? Very
well then, little miser, at least allow me to kiss it!”
I heard a chair crack. Theodore sprang to his feet
and strode toward his wife with a heavy, measured
tread. His face was ashy grey and quivering. He
raised his arm and brought his fist down on the table
with all his might, saying in a muffled voice:
“I won’t allow it!”
At the same moment Pobedimski jumped out of
his chair, and with a face as pale and angry as the
other’s, he also advanced toward Tatiana and banged
the table with his fist.
“I—I won’t allow it!” he cried.
“What? What’s the matter,” asked my uncle in
astonishment.
“I won’t allow it!” Theodore repeated, with another
blow on the table.
249My uncle jumped up and abjectly blinked his eyes.
He wanted to say something, but surprise and fright
held him tongue-tied. He gave an embarrassed smile
and pattered out of the room with short, senile steps,
leaving his hat behind him. When my startled mother
came into the room a few moments later, Theodore
and Pobedimski were still banging the table with
their fists like blacksmiths hammering an anvil, and
shouting:
“I won’t allow it!”
“What has happened here?” demanded my mother.
“Why has my brother fainted? What is the matter?”
When she saw the frightened Tatiana and her angry
husband, my mother must have guessed what had been
going on, for she sighed and shook her head.
“Come, come, stop thumping the table!” she commanded.
“Stop, Theodore! And what are you hammering
for, Gregory Pobedimski? What business is
this of yours?”
Pobedimski recollected himself and blushed. Theodore
glared intently first at him and then at his wife,
and began striding up and down the room. After my
mother had gone, I saw something that for a long time
after I took to be a dream. I saw Theodore seize
my tutor, raise him in the air, and fling him out of
the door.
When I awoke next morning my tutor’s bed was
empty. To my inquiries, my nurse replied in a whisper
250that he had been taken to the hospital early that
morning, to be treated for a broken arm. Saddened by
this news, and recalling yesterday’s scandal, I went
out into the courtyard. The day was overcast. The
sky was covered with storm-clouds, and a strong wind
was blowing across the earth, whirling before it dust,
feathers, and scraps of paper. One could feel the approaching
rain, and bad humour was obvious in both
men and beasts. When I went back to the house I
was told to walk lightly, and not to make a noise because
my mother was ill in bed with a headache.
What could I do? I went out of the front gate, and,
sitting down on a bench, tried to make out the meaning
of what I had seen the night before. The road
from our gate wound past a blacksmith’s shop and
around a damp meadow, turning at last into the main
highway. I sat and looked at the telegraph poles
around which the dust was whirling, and at the sleepy
birds sitting on the wires until, suddenly, such ennui
overwhelmed me that I burst into tears.
A dusty char-à-banc came along the highway filled
with townspeople who were probably on a pilgrimage
to some shrine. The char-à-banc was scarcely out of
sight before a light victoria drawn by a pair of horses
appeared. Standing up in the carriage and holding
on to the coachman’s belt was the rural policeman.
To my intense surprise the victoria turned into our
road and rolled past me through the gate. While I
was still seeking an answer to the riddle of the policeman’s
251appearance at our farm, a troika trotted up harnessed
to a landau, and in the landau sat the captain
of police pointing out our gate to his coachman.
“What does this mean?” I asked myself. “Pobedimski
must have complained to them about Theodore,
and they have come to fetch him away to prison.”
But the problem was not so easily solved. The policeman
and the police captain were evidently but the
forerunners of some one more important still, for five
minutes had scarcely elapsed before a coach drove
into our gate. It flashed by me so quickly that, as I
glanced in at the window, I could only catch a glimpse
of a red beard.
Lost in conjectures and foreseeing some disaster, I
ran into the house. The first person I met in the hall
was my mother. Her face was pale, and she was staring
with horror at a door from behind which came the
sound of men’s voices. Some guests had arrived unexpectedly
and at the very height of her headache.
“Who is here, mamma?” I asked.
“Sister!” we heard my uncle call. “Do give the
governor and the rest of us a bite to eat!”
“That’s easier said than done!” whispered my
mother, collapsing with horror. “What can I give
them at such short notice? I shall be disgraced in my
declining years!”
My mother clasped her head with her hands and
hurried into the kitchen. The unexpected arrival of
the governor had turned the whole farm upside down.
252A cruel holocaust immediately began to take place.
Ten hens were killed and five turkeys and eight ducks,
and in the hurly-burly the old gander was beheaded,
the ancestor of all our flock and the favourite of my
mother. The coachman and the cook seemed to
have gone mad, and frantically slaughtered every
bird they could lay hands upon without regard to its
age or breed. A pair of my precious turtle doves, as
dear to me as the gander was to my mother, were
sacrified to make a gravy. It was long before I forgave
the governor their death.
That evening, when the governor and his suite had
dined until they could eat no more, and had climbed
into their carriages and driven away, I went into the
house to look at the remains of the feast. Glancing
into the drawing-room from the hall, I saw my mother
there with my uncle. My uncle was shrugging his
shoulders, and nervously pacing round and round the
room with his hands behind his back. My mother
looked exhausted and very much thinner. She was
sitting on the sofa following my uncle’s movements
with eyes of suffering.
“I beg your pardon, sister, but one cannot behave
like that! I introduced the governor to you, and you
did not even shake hands with him! You quite embarrassed
the poor man. Yes, it was most unseemly.
Simplicity is all very pretty, but even simplicity must
not be carried too far, upon my word and honour——And
then that dinner! How could you serve a dinner
253like that? What was that dish-rag you gave us for
the fourth course?”
“That was duck with apple sauce,” answered my
mother faintly.
“Duck! Forgive me, sister, but—but—I have an
attack of indigestion! I’m ill!”
My uncle pulled a sour, tearful face and continued.
“The devil the governor had to come here to see me!
Much I wanted a visit from him! Ouch—oh, my indigestion!
I—I can’t work and I can’t sleep. I’m
completely run down. I don’t see how in the world
you can exist here in this wilderness without anything
to do! There now, the pain is commencing in the pit
of my stomach!”
My uncle knit his brows and walked up and down
more swiftly than ever.
“Brother,” asked my mother softly. “How much
does it cost to go abroad?”
“Three thousand roubles at least!” wailed my uncle.
“I should certainly go, but where can I get the money?
I haven’t a copeck! Ouch, what a pain!”
My uncle stopped in his walk and gazed with anguish
through the window at the grey, cloudy sky.
Silence fell. My mother fixed her eyes for a long
time on the icon as if she were debating something,
and then burst into tears and exclaimed:
“I’ll let you have three thousand, brother!”
Three days later the majestic trunks were sent to
the station, and behind them rolled the carriage containing
254the privy councillor. He had wept as he bade
farewell to my mother, and had held her hand to his
lips for a long time. As he climbed into the carriage
his face had shone with childish joy. Radiant and
happy, he had settled himself more comfortably in his
seat, kissed his hand to my weeping mother, and suddenly
and unexpectedly turned his regard to me. The
utmost astonishment had appeared on his features——
“What boy is this?” he had asked.
As my mother had always assured me that God had
sent my uncle to us for my especial benefit, this question
gave her quite a turn. But I was not thinking
about the question. As I looked at my uncle’s happy
face I felt, for some reason, very sorry for him. I could
not endure it, and jumped up into the carriage to embrace
this man, so frivolous, so weak, and so human.
As I looked into his eyes I wanted to say something
pleasant, so I asked him:
“Uncle, were you ever in a battle?”
“Oh, my precious boy!” laughed my uncle kissing
me. “My precious boy, upon my word and honour!
How natural and true to life it all is, upon my word
and honour!”
The carriage moved away. I followed it with my
eyes, and long after it had disappeared I still heard
ringing in my ears that farewell, “Upon my word and
honour!”
255
It was a tiny town, worse than a village, inhabited
chiefly by old people who so seldom died that it
was really vexatious. Very few coffins were needed
for the hospital and the jail; in a word, business was
bad. If Jacob Ivanoff had been a maker of coffins
in the county town, he would probably have owned a
house of his own by now, and would have been called
Mr. Ivanoff, but here in this little place he was
simply called Jacob, and for some reason his nickname
was Bronze. He lived as poorly as any common
peasant in a little old hut of one room, in which he
and Martha, and the stove, and a double bed, and the
coffins, and his joiner’s bench, and all the necessities of
housekeeping were stowed away.
The coffins made by Jacob were serviceable and
strong. For the peasants and townsfolk he made them
to fit himself and never went wrong, for, although he
was seventy years old, there was no man, not even in
the prison, any taller or stouter than he was. For the
gentry and for women he made them to measure,
using an iron yardstick for the purpose. He was always
very reluctant to take orders for children’s coffins,
and made them contemptuously without taking
256any measurements at all, always saying when he was
paid for them:
“The fact is, I don’t like to be bothered with
trifles.”
Beside what he received for his work as a joiner,
he added a little to his income by playing the violin.
There was a Jewish orchestra in the town that played
for weddings, led by the tinsmith Moses Shakess, who
took more than half of its earnings for himself. As
Jacob played the fiddle extremely well, especially
Russian songs, Shakess used sometimes to invite him
to play in his orchestra for the sum of fifty copecks a
day, not including the presents he might receive from
the guests. Whenever Bronze took his seat in the
orchestra, the first thing that happened to him was
that his face grew red, and the perspiration streamed
from it, for the air was always hot, and reeking of garlic
to the point of suffocation. Then his fiddle would begin
to moan, and a double bass would croak hoarsely into
his right ear, and a flute would weep into his left. This
flute was played by a gaunt, red-bearded Jew with a
network of red and blue veins on his face, who bore
the name of a famous rich man, Rothschild. This confounded
Jew always contrived to play even the merriest
tunes sadly. For no obvious reason Jacob little
by little began to conceive a feeling of hatred and
contempt for all Jews, and especially for Rothschild.
He quarrelled with him and abused him in ugly language,
and once even tried to beat him, but Rothschild
257took offence at this, and cried with a fierce look:
“If I had not always respected you for your music,
I should have thrown you out of the window long
ago!”
Then he burst into tears. So after that Bronze was
not often invited to play in the orchestra, and was
only called upon in cases of dire necessity, when one
of the Jews was missing.
Jacob was never in a good humour, because he always
had to endure the most terrible losses. For instance,
it was a sin to work on a Sunday or a holiday,
and Monday was always a bad day, so in that way
there were about two hundred days a year on which
he was compelled to sit with his hands folded in his lap.
That was a great loss to him. If any one in town had a
wedding without music, or if Shakess did not ask him
to play, there was another loss. The police inspector
had lain ill with consumption for two years while
Jacob impatiently waited for him to die, and then
had gone to take a cure in the city and had died there,
which of course had meant another loss of at least
ten roubles, as the coffin would have been an expensive
one lined with brocade.
The thought of his losses worried Jacob at night
more than at any other time, so he used to lay his
fiddle at his side on the bed, and when those worries
came trooping into his brain he would touch the
strings, and the fiddle would give out a sound in the
darkness, and Jacob’s heart would feel lighter.
258Last year on the sixth of May, Martha suddenly fell
ill. The old woman breathed with difficulty, staggered
in her walk, and felt terribly thirsty. Nevertheless,
she got up that morning, lit the stove, and even went
for the water. When evening came she went to bed.
Jacob played his fiddle all day. When it grew quite
dark, because he had nothing better to do, he took
the book in which he kept an account of his losses, and
began adding up the total for the year. They amounted
to more than a thousand roubles. He was so shaken
by this discovery, that he threw the counting board on
the floor and trampled it under foot. Then he picked
it up again and rattled it once more for a long time,
heaving as he did so sighs both deep and long. His
face grew purple, and perspiration dripped from his
brow. He was thinking that if those thousand roubles
he had lost had been in the bank then, he would have
had at least forty roubles interest by the end of the
year. So those forty roubles were still another loss!
In a word, wherever he turned he found losses and
nothing but losses.
“Jacob!” cried Martha unexpectedly, “I am going
to die!”
He looked round at his wife. Her face was flushed
with fever and looked unusually joyful and bright.
Bronze was troubled, for he had been accustomed to
seeing her pale and timid and unhappy. It seemed
to him that she was actually dead, and glad to have left
this hut, and the coffins, and Jacob at last. She was
259staring at the ceiling, with her lips moving as if she
saw her deliverer Death approaching and were whispering
with him.
The dawn was just breaking and the eastern sky
was glowing with a faint radiance. As he stared at
the old woman it somehow seemed to Jacob that he
had never once spoken a tender word to her or pitied
her; that he had never thought of buying her a kerchief
or of bringing her back some sweetmeats from a
wedding. On the contrary, he had shouted at her
and abused her for his losses, and had shaken his fist
at her. It was true he had never beaten her, but he
had frightened her no less, and she had been paralysed
with fear every time he had scolded her. Yes, and he
had not allowed her to drink tea because his losses were
heavy enough as it was, so she had had to be content
with hot water. Now he understood why her face
looked so strangely happy, and horror overwhelmed
him.
As soon as it was light he borrowed a horse from a
neighbour and took Martha to the hospital. As there
were not many patients, he had not to wait very long—only
about three hours. To his great satisfaction it
was not the doctor who was receiving the sick that
day, but his assistant, Maksim Nicolaitch, an old man
of whom it was said that although he quarrelled and
drank, he knew more than the doctor did.
“Good morning, your Honour,” said Jacob leading
his old woman into the office. “Excuse us for intruding
260upon you with our trifling affairs. As you
see, this subject has fallen ill. My life’s friend, if you
will allow me to use the expression——”
Knitting his grey eyebrows and stroking his whiskers,
the doctor’s assistant fixed his eyes on the old woman.
She was sitting all in a heap on a low stool, and with
her thin, long-nosed face and her open mouth, she
looked like a thirsty bird.
“Well, well—yes—” said the doctor slowly, heaving
a sigh. “This is a case of influenza and possibly
fever; there is typhoid in town. What’s to be done?
The old woman has lived her span of years, thank God.
How old is she?”
“She lacks one year of being seventy, your Honour.”
“Well, well, she has lived long. There must come
an end to everything.”
“You are certainly right, your Honour,” said Jacob,
smiling out of politeness. “And we thank you sincerely
for your kindness, but allow me to suggest to
you that even an insect dislikes to die!”
“Never mind if it does!” answered the doctor, as if
the life or death of the old woman lay in his hands.
“I’ll tell you what you must do, my good man. Put
a cold bandage around her head, and give her two
of these powders a day. Now then, good-by! Bon
jour!”
Jacob saw by the expression on the doctor’s face
that it was too late now for powders. He realised
clearly that Martha must die very soon, if not to-day,
261then to-morrow. He touched the doctor’s elbow
gently, blinked, and whispered:
“She ought to be cupped, doctor!”
“I haven’t time, I haven’t time, my good man.
Take your old woman, and go in God’s name. Good-by.”
“Please, please, cup her, doctor!” begged Jacob.
“You know yourself that if she had a pain in her
stomach, powders and drops would do her good, but
she has a cold! The first thing to do when one catches
cold is to let some blood, doctor!”
But the doctor had already sent for the next patient,
and a woman leading a little boy came into the
room.
“Go along, go along!” he cried to Jacob, frowning.
“It’s no use making a fuss!”
“Then at least put some leeches on her! Let me
pray to God for you for the rest of my life!”
The doctor’s temper flared up and he shouted:
“Don’t say another word to me, blockhead!”
Jacob lost his temper, too, and flushed hotly, but he
said nothing and, silently taking Martha’s arm, led
her out of the office. Only when they were once more
seated in their wagon did he look fiercely and mockingly
at the hospital and say:
“They’re a pretty lot in there, they are! That doctor
would have cupped a rich man, but he even begrudged
a poor one a leech. The pig!”
When they returned to the hut, Martha stood for
262nearly ten minutes supporting herself by the stove.
She felt that if she lay down Jacob would begin to talk
to her about his losses, and would scold her for lying
down and not wanting to work. Jacob contemplated
her sadly, thinking that to-morrow was St. John the
Baptist’s day, and day after to-morrow was St. Nicholas
the Wonder Worker’s day, and that the following day
would be Sunday, and the day after that would be
Monday, a bad day for work. So he would not be
able to work for four days, and as Martha would
probably die on one of these days, the coffin would
have to be made at once. He took his iron yardstick
in hand, went up to the old woman, and measured
her. Then she lay down, and he crossed himself and
went to work on the coffin.
When the task was completed Bronze put on his
spectacles and wrote in his book:
“To 1 coffin for Martha Ivanoff—2 roubles, 40 copecks.”
He sighed. All day the old woman lay silent with
closed eyes, but toward evening, when the daylight
began to fade, she suddenly called the old man to her
side.
“Do you remember, Jacob?” she asked. “Do you
remember how fifty years ago God gave us a little
baby with curly golden hair? Do you remember how
you and I used to sit on the bank of the river and
sing songs under the willow tree?” Then with a
bitter smile she added: “The baby died.”
263Jacob racked his brains, but for the life of him he
could not recall the child or the willow tree.
“You are dreaming,” he said.
The priest came and administered the Sacrament
and Extreme Unction. Then Martha began muttering
unintelligibly, and toward morning she died.
The neighbouring old women washed her and
dressed her, and laid her in her coffin. To avoid paying
the deacon, Jacob read the psalms over her himself,
and her grave cost him nothing, as the watchman
of the cemetery was his cousin. Four peasants carried
the coffin to the grave, not for money but for love.
The old women, the beggars, and two village idiots
followed the body, and the people whom they passed
on the way crossed themselves devoutly. Jacob was
very glad that everything had passed off so nicely
and decently and cheaply, without giving offence
to any one. As he said farewell to Martha for the
last time he touched the coffin with his hand and
thought:
“That’s a fine job!”
But walking homeward from the cemetery he was
seized with great distress. He felt ill, his breath was
burning hot, his legs grew weak, and he longed for a
drink. Beside this, a thousand thoughts came crowding
into his head. He remembered again that he had
never once pitied Martha or said a tender word to her.
The fifty years of their life together lay stretched far,
far behind him, and somehow, during all that time,
264he had never once thought about her at all or noticed
her more than if she had been a dog or a cat. And
yet she had lit the stove every day, and had cooked
and baked and fetched water and chopped wood, and
when he had come home drunk from a wedding she
had hung his fiddle reverently on a nail each time, and
had silently put him to bed with a timid, anxious look
on her face.
But here came Rothschild toward him, bowing and
scraping and smiling.
“I have been looking for you, uncle!” he said.
“Moses Shakess presents his compliments and wants
you to go to him at once.”
Jacob did not feel in a mood to do anything. He
wanted to cry.
“Leave me alone!” he exclaimed, and walked on.
“Oh, how can you say that?” cried Rothschild,
running beside him in alarm. “Moses will be very
angry. He wants you to come at once!”
Jacob was disgusted by the panting of the Jew,
by his blinking eyes, and by the quantities of reddish
freckles on his face. He looked with aversion at his
long green coat and at the whole of his frail, delicate
figure.
“What do you mean by pestering me, garlic?” he
shouted. “Get away!”
The Jew grew angry and shouted back:
“Don’t yell at me like that or I’ll send you flying
over that fence!”
265“Get out of my sight!” bellowed Jacob, shaking his
fist at him. “There’s no living in the same town with
swine like you!”
Rothschild was petrified with terror. He sank to
the ground and waved his hands over his head as if
to protect himself from falling blows; then he jumped
up and ran away as fast as his legs could carry him.
As he ran he leaped and waved his arms, and his long,
gaunt back could be seen quivering. The little boys
were delighted at what had happened, and ran after
him screaming: “Sheeny! Sheeny!” The dogs also
joined barking in the chase. Somebody laughed and
then whistled, at which the dogs barked louder and
more vigorously than ever.
Then one of them must have bitten Rothschild, for
a piteous, despairing scream rent the air.
Jacob walked across the common to the edge of
the town without knowing where he was going, and
the little boys shouted after him. “There goes old
man Bronze! There goes old man Bronze!” He
found himself by the river where the snipe were darting
about with shrill cries, and the ducks were quacking
and swimming to and fro. The sun was shining
fiercely and the water was sparkling so brightly that
it was painful to look at. Jacob struck into a path
that led along the river bank. He came to a stout,
red-cheeked woman just leaving a bath-house. “Aha,
you otter, you!” he thought. Not far from the bath-house
some little boys were fishing for crabs with
266pieces of meat. When they saw Jacob they shouted
mischievously: “Old man Bronze! Old man Bronze!”
But there before him stood an ancient, spreading
willow tree with a massive trunk, and a crow’s nest
among its branches. Suddenly there flashed across
Jacob’s memory with all the vividness of life a little
child with golden curls, and the willow of which Martha
had spoken. Yes, this was the same tree, so green
and peaceful and sad. How old it had grown, poor
thing!
He sat down at its foot and thought of the past.
On the opposite shore, where that meadow now was,
there had stood in those days a wood of tall birch-trees,
and that bare hill on the horizon yonder had
been covered with the blue bloom of an ancient pine
forest. And sailboats had plied the river then, but
now all lay smooth and still, and only one little birch-tree
was left on the opposite bank, a graceful young
thing, like a girl, while on the river there swam only
ducks and geese. It was hard to believe that boats
had once sailed there. It even seemed to him that
there were fewer geese now than there had been.
Jacob shut his eyes, and one by one white geese came
flying toward him, an endless flock.
He was puzzled to know why he had never
once been down to the river during the last forty or
fifty years of his life, or, if he had been there, why he
had never paid any attention to it. The stream was
fine and large; he might have fished in it and sold the
267fish to the merchants and the government officials and
the restaurant keeper at the station, and put the
money in the bank. He might have rowed in a boat
from farm to farm and played on his fiddle. People
of every rank would have paid him money to hear him.
He might have tried to run a boat on the river, that
would have been better than making coffins. Finally,
he might have raised geese, and killed them, and sent
them to Moscow in the winter. Why, the down alone
would have brought him ten roubles a year! But he
had missed all these chances and had done nothing.
What losses were here! Ah, what terrible losses! And,
oh, if he had only done all these things at the same
time! If he had only fished, and played the fiddle,
and sailed a boat, and raised geese, what capital he
would have had by now! But he had not even
dreamed of doing all this; his life had gone by without
profit or pleasure. It had been lost for a song.
Nothing was left ahead; behind lay only losses, and
such terrible losses that he shuddered to think of them.
But why shouldn’t men live so as to avoid all this waste
and these losses? Why, oh, why, should those birch
and pine forests have been felled? Why should those
meadows be lying so deserted? Why did people always
do exactly what they ought not to do? Why had
Jacob scolded and growled and clenched his fists and
hurt his wife’s feelings all his life? Why, oh why,
had he frightened and insulted that Jew just now?
Why did people in general always interfere with one
268another? What losses resulted from this! What
terrible losses! If it were not for envy and anger
they would get great profit from one another.
All that evening and night Jacob dreamed of the
child, of the willow tree, of the fish and the geese,
of Martha with her profile like a thirsty bird, and of
Rothschild’s pale, piteous mien. Queer faces seemed
to be moving toward him from all sides, muttering
to him about his losses. He tossed from side to side,
and got up five times during the night to play his
fiddle.
He rose with difficulty next morning, and walked to
the hospital. The same doctor’s assistant ordered him
to put cold bandages on his head, and gave him little
powders to take; by his expression and the tone of his
voice Jacob knew that the state of affairs was bad, and
that no powders could save him now. As he walked
home he reflected that one good thing would result
from his death: he would no longer have to eat and
drink and pay taxes, neither would he offend people
any more, and, as a man lies in his grave for hundreds
of thousands of years, the sum of his profits would be
immense. So, life to a man was a loss—death, a gain.
Of course this reasoning was correct, but it was also
distressingly sad. Why should the world be so strangely
arranged that a man’s life which was only given to him
once must pass without profit?
He was not sorry then that he was going to die, but
when he reached home, and saw his fiddle, his heart
269ached, and he regretted it deeply. He would not be
able to take his fiddle with him into the grave, and
now it would be left an orphan, and its fate would be
that of the birch grove and the pine forest. Everything
in the world had been lost, and would always
be lost for ever. Jacob went out and sat on the
threshold of his hut, clasping his fiddle to his breast.
And as he thought of his life so full of waste and losses
he began playing without knowing how piteous and
touching his music was, and the tears streamed down
his cheeks. And the more he thought the more
sorrowfully sang his violin.
The latch clicked and Rothschild came in through
the garden-gate, and walked boldly half-way across the
garden. Then he suddenly stopped, crouched down,
and, probably from fear, began making signs with his
hands as if he were trying to show on his fingers
what time it was.
“Come on, don’t be afraid!” said Jacob gently,
beckoning him to advance. “Come on!”
With many mistrustful and fearful glances Rothschild
went slowly up to Jacob, and stopped about two
yards away.
“Please don’t beat me!” he said with a ducking
bow. “Moses Shakess has sent me to you again.
‘Don’t be afraid,’ he said, ‘go to Jacob,’ says he, ‘and
say that we can’t possibly manage without him.’
There is a wedding next Thursday. Ye-es, sir. Mr.
Shapovaloff is marrying his daughter to a very fine
270man. It will be an expensive wedding, ai, ai!” added
the Jew with a wink.
“I can’t go” said Jacob breathing hard. “I’m ill,
brother.”
And he began to play again, and the tears gushed
out of his eyes over his fiddle. Rothschild listened
intently with his head turned away and his arms
folded on his breast. The startled, irresolute look on
his face gradually gave way to one of suffering and
grief. He cast up his eyes as if in an ecstasy of agony
and murmured: “Ou—ouch!” And the tears began
to trickle slowly down his cheeks, and to drip over his
green coat.
All day Jacob lay and suffered. When the priest
came in the evening to administer the Sacrament he
asked him if he could not think of any particular sin.
Struggling with his fading memories, Jacob recalled
once more Martha’s sad face, and the despairing cry
of the Jew when the dog had bitten him. He murmured
almost inaudibly:
“Give my fiddle to Rothschild.”
“It shall be done,” answered the priest.
So it happened that every one in the little town began
asking:
“Where did Rothschild get that good fiddle? Did
he buy it or steal it or get it out of a pawnshop?”
Rothschild has long since abandoned his flute, and
now only plays on the violin. The same mournful
notes flow from under his bow that used to come
271from his flute, and when he tries to repeat what
Jacob played as he sat on the threshold of his hut,
the result is an air so plaintive and sad that every one
who hears him weeps, and he himself at last raises his
eyes and murmurs: “Ou—ouch!” And this new
song has so delighted the town that the merchants
and government officials vie with each other in getting
Rothschild to come to their houses, and sometimes
make him play it ten times in succession.
272
Major-General Buldeeff was suffering
from toothache. He had rinsed his mouth with
vodka and cognac; applied tobacco ashes, opium, turpentine,
and kerosene to the aching tooth; rubbed his
cheek with iodine, and put cotton wool soaked with
alcohol into his ears, but all these remedies had either
failed to relieve him or else had made him sick. The
dentist was sent for. He picked at his tooth and prescribed
quinine, but this did not help the general.
Buldeeff met the suggestion that the tooth should be
pulled with refusal. Every one in the house, his wife,
his children, the servants, even Petka, the scullery boy,
suggested some remedy. Among others his steward,
Ivan Evceitch came to him, and advised him to try a
conjuror.
“Your Excellency,” said he, “ten years ago an exciseman
lived in this county whose name was Jacob.
He was a first-class conjuror for the toothache. He
used simply to turn toward the window and spit, and
the pain would go in a minute. That was his gift.”
“Where is he now?”
“After he was dismissed from the revenue service,
he went to live in Saratoff with his mother-in-law.
He makes his living off nothing but teeth now. If
273any one has a toothache, he sends for him to cure it.
The Saratoff people have him come to their houses,
but he cures people in other cities by telegraph. Send
him a telegram, your Excellency, say: ‘I, God’s servant
Alexei, have the toothache. I want you to cure me.’
You can send him his fee by mail.”
“Stuff and nonsense! Humbug!”
“Just try it, your Excellency! He is fond of vodka,
it is true, and is living with some German woman instead
of his wife, and he uses terrible language, but he
is a remarkable wonder worker.”
“Do send him a telegram, Alexei!” begged the
general’s wife. “You don’t believe in conjuring, I
know, but I have tried it. Why not send him the message,
even if you don’t believe it will do you any
good? It can’t kill you!”
“Very well, then,” Buldeeff consented. “I would
willingly send a telegram to the devil, let alone to an
exciseman. Ouch! I can’t stand this! Come, where
does your conjuror live? What is his name?”
The general sat down at his desk, and took up a pen.
“He is known to every dog in Saratoff,” said the
steward. “Just address the telegram to Mr. Jacob—Jacob——”
“Well?”
“Jacob—Jacob—what? I can’t remember his surname.
Jacob—darn it, what is his surname? I thought
of it as I was coming along. Wait a minute!”
Ivan raised his eyes to the ceiling, and moved his
274lips. Buldeeff and his wife waited impatiently for him
to remember the name.
“Well then, what is it? Think harder.”
“Just a minute! Jacob—Jacob—I can’t remember
it! It’s a common name too, something to do with a
horse. Is it Mayres? No it isn’t Mayres—Wait a
bit, is it Colt? No, it isn’t Colt. I know perfectly
well it’s a horsey name, but it has absolutely gone
out of my head!”
“It isn’t Filley?”
“No, no—wait a jiffy. Maresfield, Maresden—Farrier—Harrier——”
“That’s a doggy name, not a horsey one. Is it
Foley?”
“No, no, it isn’t Foley. Just a second—Horseman—Horsey—Hackney.
No, it isn’t any of those.”
“Then how am I to send that telegram? Think a
little harder!”
“One moment! Carter—Coltsford—Shafter——”
“Shaftsbury?” suggested the general’s wife.
“No, no—Wheeler—no, that isn’t it! I’ve forgotten
it!”
“Then why on earth did you come pestering me
with your advice, if you couldn’t remember the man’s
name?” stormed the general. “Get out of here!”
Ivan went slowly out, and the general clutched his
cheek, and went rushing through the house.
“Ouch! Oh Lord!” he howled. “Oh, mother!
Ouch! I’m as blind as a bat!”
275The steward went into the garden, and, raising his
eyes to heaven, tried to remember the exciseman’s
name.
“Hunt—Hunter—Huntley. No, that’s wrong!
Cobb—Cobden—Dobbins—Maresly——”
Shortly afterward, the steward was again summoned
by his master.
“Well, have you thought of it?” asked the general.
“No, not yet, your Excellency!”
“Is it Barnes?” asked the general. “Is it Palfrey,
by any chance?”
Every one in the house began madly to invent
names. Horses of every possible age, breed, and sex
were considered; their names, hoofs, and harness were
all thought of. People were frantically walking up
and down in the house, garden, servants’ quarters, and
kitchen, all scratching their heads, and searching for
the right name.
Suddenly the steward was sent for again.
“Is it Herder?” they asked him. “Hocker? Hyde?
Groome?”
“No, no, no,” answered Ivan, and, casting up his
eyes, he went on thinking aloud.
“Steed—Charger—Horsely—Harness——”
“Papa!” cried a voice from the nursery. “Tracey!
Bitter!”
The whole farm was now in an uproar. The impatient,
agonised general promised five roubles to
276any one who would think of the right name, and a
perfect mob began to follow Ivan Evceitch about.
“Bayley!” They cried to him. “Trotter!
Hackett!”
Evening came at last, and still the name had not
been found. The household went to bed without
sending the telegram.
The general did not sleep a wink, but walked, groaning,
up and down his room. At three o’clock in the
morning he went out into the yard and tapped at the
steward’s window.
“It isn’t Gelder, is it?” he asked almost in tears.
“No, not Gelder, your Excellency,” answered Ivan,
sighing apologetically.
“Perhaps it isn’t a horsey name at all? Perhaps
it is something entirely different?”
“No, no, upon my word, it’s a horsey name, your
Excellency, I remember that perfectly.”
“What an abominable memory you have, brother!
That name is worth more than anything on earth to
me now! I’m in agony!”
Next morning the general sent for the dentist again.
“I’ll have it out!” he cried. “I can’t stand this
any longer!”
The dentist came and pulled out the aching tooth.
The pain at once subsided, and the general grew
quieter. Having done his work and received his fee,
the dentist climbed into his gig, and drove away. In
the field outside the front gate he met Ivan. The
277steward was standing by the roadside plunged in
thought, with his eyes fixed on the ground at his feet.
Judging from the deep wrinkles that furrowed his
brow, he was painfully racking his brains over something,
and was muttering to himself:
“Dunn—Sadler—Buckle—Coachman——”
“Hello, Ivan!” cried the doctor driving up. “Won’t
you sell me a load of hay? I have been buying mine
from the peasants lately, but it’s no good.”
Ivan glared dully at the doctor, smiled vaguely,
and without answering a word threw up his arms,
and rushed toward the house as if a mad dog were
after him.
“I’ve thought of the name, your Excellency!” he
shrieked with delight, bursting into the general’s study.
“I’ve thought of it, thanks to the doctor. Hayes!
Hayes is the exciseman’s name! Hayes, your Honour!
Send a telegram to Hayes!”
“Slow-coach!” said the general contemptuously,
snapping his fingers at him. “I don’t need your
horsey name now! Slow-coach!”
278
One hot summer’s day Ivan Jmukin was returning
from town to his farm in southern Russia.
Jmukin was a retired old Cossack officer, who had
served in the Caucasus, and had once been lusty and
strong, but he was an old man now, shrivelled and
bent, with bushy eyebrows and a long, greenish-grey
moustache. He had been fasting in town, and had
made his will, for it was only two weeks since he had
had a slight stroke of paralysis, and now, sitting in
the train, he was full of deep, gloomy thoughts of his
approaching death, of the vanity of life, and of the
transient quality of all earthly things. At Provalye,
one of the stations on the Don railway, a fair-haired,
middle-aged man, carrying a worn portfolio under his
arm, entered the compartment and sat down opposite
the old Cossack. They began talking together.
“No,” said Jmukin gazing pensively out of the
window. “It is never too late to marry. I myself
was forty-eight when I married, and every one said
it was too late, but it has turned out to be neither too
late nor too early. Still, it is better never to marry
at all. Every one soon gets tired of a wife, though
279not every one will tell you the truth, because, you
know, people are ashamed of their family troubles,
and try to conceal them. It is often ‘Manya, dear
Manya,’ with a man when, if he had his way, he
would put that Manya of his into a sack, and throw
her into the river. A wife is a nuisance and a bore,
and children are no better, I can assure you. I have
two scoundrels myself. There is nowhere they can go
to school on the steppe, and I can’t afford to send them
to Novotcherkask, so they are growing up here like
young wolf cubs. At any moment they may murder
some one on the highway.”
The fair-haired man listened attentively, and answered
all questions addressed to him briefly, in a
low voice. He was evidently gentle and unassuming.
He told his companion that he was an attorney, on
his way to the village of Duevka on business.
“Why, for heaven’s sake, that’s only nine miles
from where I live!” cried Jmukin, as if some one had
been disputing it. “You won’t be able to get any
horses at the station this evening. In my opinion the
best thing for you to do is to come home with me, you
know, and spend the night at my house, you know,
and let me send you on to-morrow with my horses.”
After a moment’s reflection the attorney accepted
the invitation.
The sun was hanging low over the steppe when
they arrived at the station. The two men remained
silent as they drove from the railway to the farm, for
280the jolting that the road gave them forbade conversation.
The tarantass[2] bounded and whined and seemed
to be sobbing, as if its leaps caused it the keenest pain,
and the attorney, who found his seat very uncomfortable,
gazed with anguish before him, hoping to descry
the farm in the distance. After they had driven eight
miles a low house surrounded by a dark wattle fence
came into view. The roof was painted green, the stucco
on the walls was peeling off, and the little windows
looked like puckered eyes. The farmhouse stood exposed
to all the ardour of the sun; neither trees nor
water were visible anywhere near it. The neighbouring
landowners and peasants called it “Petcheneg Grange.”
Many years ago a passing surveyor, who was spending
the night at the farm, had talked with Jmukin
all night, and had gone away in the morning much
displeased, saying sternly as he left: “Sir, you are
nothing but a Petcheneg!” So the name “Petcheneg
Grange” had been given to the farm, and had stuck
to it all the more closely as Jmukin’s boys began to
grow up, and to perpetrate raids on the neighbouring
gardens and melon fields. Jmukin himself was known
as “old man you know,” because he talked so much,
and used the words “you know” so often.
Jmukin’s two sons were standing in the courtyard,
near the stables, as the tarantass drove up. One was
about nineteen, the other was a hobbledehoy of a few
years younger; both were barefoot and hatless. As
281the carriage went by the younger boy threw a hen high
up over his head. It described an arc in the air, and
fluttered cackling down till the elder fired a shot from
his gun, and the dead bird fell to earth with a thud.
“Those are my boys learning to shoot birds on the
wing,” Jmukin said.
The travellers were met in the front entry by a
woman, a thin, pale-faced little creature, still pretty
and young, who, from her dress, might have been
taken for a servant.
“This,” said Jmukin, “is the mother of those sons
of guns of mine. Come on, Lyuboff!” he cried to his
wife. “Hustle, now, mother, and help entertain our
guest. Bring us some supper! Quick!”
The house consisted of two wings. On one side
were the “drawing-room” and, adjoining it, the old
man’s bedchamber; close, stuffy apartments both,
with low ceilings, infested by thousands of flies. On
the other side was the kitchen, where the cooking and
washing were done and the workmen were fed. Here,
under benches, geese and turkeys were sitting on their
nests, and here stood the beds of Lyuboff and her two
sons. The furniture in the drawing-room was unpainted
and had evidently been made by a country
joiner. On the walls hung guns, game bags, and
whips, all of which old trash was rusty and grey with
dust. Not a picture was on the walls, only a dark,
painted board that had once been an icon hung in
one corner of the room.
282A young peasant woman set the table and brought
in ham and borstch.[3] Jmukin’s guest declined vodka,
and confined himself to eating cucumbers and bread.
“And what about the ham?” Jmukin asked.
“No, thank you, I don’t eat ham,” answered his
guest. “I don’t eat meat of any kind.”
“Why not?”
“I’m a vegetarian. It’s against my principles to
kill animals.”
Jmukin was silent for a moment, and then said
slowly, with a sigh:
“I see—yes. I saw a man in town who didn’t eat
meat either. It is a new religion people have. And
why shouldn’t they have it? It’s a good thing. One
can’t always be killing and shooting; one must take
a rest sometimes and let the animals have a little
peace. Of course it’s a sin to kill, there’s no doubt
about that. Sometimes, when you shoot a hare, and
hit him in the leg he will scream like a baby. So it
hurts him!”
“Of course it hurts him! Animals suffer pain just
as much as we do.”
“That’s a fact!” Jmukin agreed. “I see that
perfectly,” he added pensively. “Only there is one
thing that I must say I can’t quite understand. Suppose,
for instance, you know, every one were to stop
eating meat, what would become of all our barnyard
fowls, like chickens and geese?”
283“Chickens and geese would go free just like all
other birds.”
“Ah! Now I understand. Of course. Crows and
magpies get on without us all right. Yes. And
chickens and geese and rabbits and sheep would all
be free and happy, you know, and would praise God,
and not be afraid of us any more. So peace and quiet
would reign upon earth. Only one thing I can’t understand,
you know,” Jmukin continued, with a glance at
the ham. “Where would all the pigs go to? What
would become of them?”
“The same thing that would become of all the
other animals, they would go free.”
“I see—yes. But, listen, if they were not killed,
they would multiply, you know, and then it would
be good-by to our meadows and vegetable gardens!
Why, if a pig is turned loose and not watched, it will
ruin everything for you in a day! A pig is a pig, and
hasn’t been called one for nothing!”
They finished their supper. Jmukin rose from the
table, and walked up and down the room for a long
time, talking interminably. He loved to think of and
discuss deep and serious subjects, and was longing to
discover some theory that would sustain him in his
old age, so that he might find peace of mind, and not
think it so terrible to die. He desired for himself the
same gentleness and self-confidence and peace of mind
which he saw in this guest of his, who had just eaten his
fill of cucumbers and bread, and was a better man for it,
284sitting there on a bench so healthy and fat, patiently
bored, looking like a huge heathen idol that nothing
could move from his seat.
“If a man can only find some idea to hold to in
life, he will be happy,” Jmukin thought.
The old Cossack went out on the front steps, and
the attorney could hear him sighing and repeating to
himself:
“Yes—I see——”
Night was falling, and the stars were shining out
one by one. The lamps in the house had not been lit.
Some one came creeping toward the drawing-room as
silently as a shadow, and stopped in the doorway. It
was Lyuboff, Jmukin’s wife.
“Have you come from the city?” she asked timidly,
without looking at her guest.
“Yes, I live in the city.”
“Maybe you know about schools, master, and can
tell us what to do if you will be so kind. We need
advice.”
“What do you want?”
“We have two sons, kind master, and they should
have been sent to school long ago, but nobody ever
comes here and we have no one to tell us anything. I
myself know nothing. If they don’t go to school, they
will be taken into the army as common Cossacks. That
is hard, master. They can’t read or write, they are
worse off than peasants, and their father himself despises
them, and won’t let them come into the house.
285Is it their fault? If only the younger one, at least,
could be sent to school! It’s a pity to see them so!”
she wailed, and her voice trembled. It seemed incredible
that a woman so little and young could already have
grown-up children. “Ah, it is such a pity!” she said
again.
“You know nothing about it, mother, and it’s none
of your business,” said Jmukin, appearing in the doorway.
“Don’t pester our guest with your wild talk.
Go away, mother!”
Lyuboff went out, repeating once more in a high
little voice as she reached the hall:
“Ah, it is such a pity!”
A bed was made up for the attorney on a sofa in
the drawing-room, and Jmukin lit the little shrine
lamp, so that he might not be left in the dark. Then
he lay down in his own bedroom. Lying there he
thought of many things: his soul, his old age, and his
recent stroke which had given him such a fright and
had so sharply reminded him of his approaching death.
He liked to philosophise when he was alone in the dark,
and at these times he imagined himself to be a very
deep and serious person indeed, whose attention only
questions of importance could engage. He now kept
thinking that he would like to get hold of some one
idea unlike any other idea he had ever had, something
significant that would be the lodestar of his
life. He wanted to think of some law for himself,
that would make his life as serious and deep as he
286himself personally was. And here was an idea! He
could go without meat now, and deprive himself of
everything that was superfluous to his existence! The
time would surely come when people would no longer
kill animals or one another, it could not but come, and
he pictured this future in his mind’s eye, and distinctly
saw himself living at peace with all the animal world.
Then he remembered the pigs again, and his brain began
to reel.
“What a muddle it all is!” he muttered, heaving a
deep sigh.
“Are you asleep?” he asked.
“No.”
Jmukin rose from his bed, and stood on the threshold
of the door in his nightshirt, exposing to his guest’s
view his thin, sinewy legs, as straight as posts.
“Just look, now,” he began. “Here is all this telegraph
and telephone business, in a word, all these
marvels, you know, and yet people are no more virtuous
than they used to be. It is said that when I was
young, thirty or forty years ago, people were rougher
and crueller than they are now, but aren’t they just
the same to-day? Of course, they were less ceremonious
when I was a youngster. I remember how
once, when we had been stationed on the bank of a
river in the Caucasus for four months without anything
to do, quite a little romance took place. On
the very bank of the river, you know, where our regiment
was encamped, we had buried a prince whom we
287had killed not long before. So at night, you know, his
princess used to come down to the grave and cry. She
screamed and screamed, and groaned and groaned until
we got into such a state that we couldn’t sleep a wink.
We didn’t sleep for nights. We grew tired of it. And
honestly, why should we be kept awake by that devil
of a voice? Excuse the expression! So we took that
princess and gave her a good thrashing, and she stopped
coming to the grave. There you are! Nowadays,
of course, men of that category don’t exist any more.
People don’t thrash one another, and they live more
cleanly and learn more lessons than they used to, but
their hearts haven’t changed one bit, you know. Listen
to this, for instance. There is a landlord near here
who owns a coal mine, you know. He has all sorts
of vagabonds and men without passports working for
him, men who have nowhere else to go. When Saturday
comes round the workmen have to be paid, and their
employer never wants to do that, he is too fond of his
money. So he has picked out a foreman, a vagabond,
too, though he wears a hat, and he says to him: ‘Don’t
pay them a thing,’ says our gentleman, ‘not even a
penny. They will beat you, but you must stand it.
If you do, I’ll give you ten roubles every Saturday.’
So every week, regularly, when Saturday evening
comes round the workmen come for their wages, and
the foreman says: ‘There aren’t any wages!’ Well,
words follow, and then come abuse, and a drubbing.
They beat him and kick him, for the men are wild with
288hunger, you know; they beat him until he is unconscious,
and then go off to the four winds of heaven.
The owner of the mine orders cold water to be thrown
over his foreman, and pitches him ten roubles. The
man takes the money, and is thankful, for the fact is
he would agree to wear a noose round his neck for a
penny! Yes, and on Monday a new gang of workmen
arrives. They come because they have nowhere else
to go. On Saturday there is the same old story over
again.”
The attorney rolled over, with his face toward the
back of the sofa, and mumbled something incoherent.
“Take another example, for instance,” Jmukin
went on. “When we had the Siberian cattle plague
here, you know, the cattle died like flies, I can tell
you. The veterinary surgeons came, and strictly
ordered all infected stock that died to be buried as far
away from the farm as possible, and to be covered
with lime and so on, according to the laws of science.
Well, one of my horses died. I buried it with the
greatest care, and shovelled at least ten poods[4] of lime
on top of it, but what do you think? That pair of
young jackanapes of mine dug up the horse one night,
and sold the skin for three roubles! There now, what
do you think of that?”
Flashes of lightning were gleaming through the
cracks of the shutters on one side of the room. The
air was sultry before the approaching storm, and the
289mosquitoes had begun to bite. Jmukin groaned and
sighed, as he lay meditating in his bed, and kept repeating
to himself:
“Yes—I see——”
Sleep was impossible. Somewhere in the distance
thunder was growling.
“Are you awake?”
“Yes,” answered his guest.
Jmukin rose and walked with shuffling slippers
through the drawing-room, and hall, and into the
kitchen to get a drink of water.
“The worst thing in the world is stupidity,” he
said, as he returned a few minutes later with a dipper
in his hand. “That Lyuboff of mine gets down on
her knees and prays to God every night. She flops
down on the floor and prays that the boys may be
sent to school, you know. She is afraid they will be
drafted into the army as common Cossacks, and have
their backs tickled with sabres. But it would take
money to send them to school, and where can I get it?
What you haven’t got you haven’t got, and it’s no
use crying for the moon! Another reason she prays
is because, like all women, you know, she thinks
she is the most unhappy creature in the world. I
am an outspoken man, and I won’t hide anything
from you. She comes of a poor priest’s family—of
church-bell stock, one might say—and I married her
when she was seventeen. They gave her to me chiefly
because times were hard, and her family were in want
290and had nothing to eat, and when all is said and done
I do own some land, as you see, and I am an officer
of sorts. She felt flattered at the idea of being my
wife, you know. But she began to cry on the day of
our wedding, and has cried every day since for twenty
years; her eyes must be made of water! She does
nothing but sit and think. What does she think
about, I ask you? What can a woman think about?
Nothing! The fact is, I don’t consider women human
beings.”
The attorney jumped up impetuously, and sat up
in bed.
“Excuse me, I feel a little faint,” he said. “I am
going out-of-doors.”
Jmukin, still talking about women, drew back the
bolts of the hall door, and both men went out together.
A full moon was floating over the grange.
The house and stables looked whiter than they had
by day, and shimmering white bands of light lay
among the shadows on the lawn. To the right lay the
steppe, with the stars glowing softly over it; as one
gazed into its depths, it looked mysterious and infinitely
distant, like some bottomless abyss. To the
left, heavy thunder-clouds lay piled one upon another.
Their margins were lit by the rays of the moon, and
they resembled dark forests, seas, and mountains with
snowy summits. Flashes of lightning were playing
about their peaks, and soft thunder was growling in
their depths; a battle seemed to be raging among them.
291Quite near the house a little screech owl was crying
monotonously:
“Whew! Whew!”
“What time is it?” asked the attorney.
“Nearly two o’clock.”
“What a long time yet until dawn!”
They re-entered the house and lay down. It was
time to go to sleep, and sleep is usually so sound before
a storm, but the old man was pining for grave,
weighty meditations, and he not only wanted to think,
he wanted to talk as well. So he babbled on of what a
fine thing it would be if, for the sake of his soul, a
man could shake off this idleness that was imperceptibly
and uselessly devouring his days and years one
after another. He said he would like to think of
some feat of strength to perform, such as making a
long journey on foot or giving up meat, as this young
man had done. And once more he pictured the future
when men would no longer kill animals; he pictured
it as clearly and precisely as if he himself had lived
at that time, but suddenly his thoughts grew confused,
and again he understood nothing.
The thunder-storm rolled by, but one corner of the
cloud passed over the grange, and the rain began to
drum on the roof. Jmukin got up, sighing with age
and stretching his limbs, and peered into the drawing-room.
Seeing that his guest was still awake, he said:
“When we were in the Caucasus, you know, we had
a colonel who was a vegetarian as you are. He never
292ate meat and never hunted or allowed his men to fish.
I can understand that, of course. Every animal has
a right to enjoy its life and its freedom. But I can’t
understand how pigs could be allowed to roam wherever
they pleased without being watched——”
His guest sat up in bed; his pale, haggard face was
stamped with vexation and fatigue. It was plain that
he was suffering agonies, and that only a kind and
considerate heart forbade him to put his irritation
into words.
“It is already light,” he said briefly. “Please let
me have a horse now.”
“What do you mean? Wait until the rain stops!”
“No, please!” begged the guest in a panic. “I
really must be going at once!”
And he began to dress quickly.
The sun was already rising when a horse and carriage
were brought to the door. The rain had stopped,
the clouds were skimming across the sky, and the
rifts of blue were growing wider and wider between
them. The first rays of the sun were timidly lighting
up the meadows below. The attorney passed through
the front entry with his portfolio under his arm, while
Jmukin’s wife, with red eyes, and a face even paler
than it had been the evening before, stood gazing
fixedly at him with the innocent look of a little girl.
Her sorrowful face showed how much she envied
her guest his liberty. Ah, with what joy she,
too, would have left this place! Her eyes spoke of
293something she longed to say to him, perhaps some
advice she wanted to ask him about her boys. How
pitiful she was! She was not a wife, she was not the
mistress of the house, she was not even a servant, but
a miserable dependent, a poor relation, a nonentity
wanted by no one. Her husband bustled about near
his guest, not ceasing his talk for an instant, and at
last ran ahead to see him into the carriage, while she
stood shrinking timidly and guiltily against the wall,
still waiting for the moment to come that would give
her an opportunity to speak.
“Come again! Come again!” the old man repeated
over and over again. “Everything we have
is at your service, you know!”
His guest hastily climbed into the tarantass, obviously
with infinite pleasure, looking as if he were
afraid every second of being detained. The tarantass
bounded and whined as it had done the day before,
and a bucket tied on behind clattered madly. The
attorney looked round at Jmukin with a peculiar expression
in his eyes. He seemed to be wanting to call
him a Petcheneg, or something of the sort, as the surveyor
had done, but his kindness triumphed. He controlled
himself, and the words remained unsaid. As
he reached the gate, however, he suddenly felt that he
could no longer contain himself; he rose in his seat, and
cried out in a loud, angry voice:
“You bore me to death!”
And with these words he vanished through the gate.
294Jmukin’s two sons were standing in front of the
stable. The older was holding a gun, the younger had
in his arms a grey cock with a bright red comb. The
younger tossed the cock into the air with all his might;
the bird shot up higher than the roof of the house, and
turned over in the air. The elder boy shot, and it
fell to the ground like a stone.
The old man stood nonplussed, and unable to comprehend
his guest’s unexpected exclamation. At last he
turned and slowly went into the house. Sitting down
to his breakfast, he fell into a long reverie about the
present tendency of thought, about the universal
wickedness of the present generation, about the telegraph
and the telephone and bicycles, and about how
unnecessary it all was. But he grew calmer little by
little as he slowly ate his meal. He drank five glasses
of tea, and lay down to take a nap.
295
It was on the eve of Palm Sunday; vespers were
being sung in the Staro-Petrovski Convent. The
hour was nearly ten when the palm leaves were distributed,
and the little shrine lamps were growing dim;
their wicks had burnt low, and a soft haze hung in the
chapel. As the worshippers surged forward in the
twilight like the waves of the sea, it seemed to his
Reverence Peter, who had been feeling ill for three
days, that the people who came to him for palm leaves
all looked alike, and, men or women, old or young,
all had the same expression in their eyes. He could
not see the doors through the haze; the endless procession
rolled toward him, and seemed as if it must go
on rolling for ever. A choir of women’s voices was
singing and a nun was reading the canon.
How hot and close the air was, and how long the
prayers! His Reverence was tired. His dry, parching
breath was coming quickly and painfully, his shoulders
were aching, and his legs were trembling. The
occasional cries of an idiot in the gallery annoyed him.
And now, as a climax, his Reverence saw, as in a
delirium, his own mother whom he had not seen for
nine years coming toward him in the crowd. She, or
an old woman exactly like her, took a palm leaf from
296his hands, and moved away looking at him all the
while with a glad, sweet smile, until she was lost in
the crowd. And for some reason the tears began to
course down his cheeks. His heart was happy and
peaceful, but his eyes were fixed on a distant part of the
chapel where the prayers were being read, and where
no human being could be distinguished among the
shadows. The tears glistened on his cheeks and beard.
Then some one who was standing near him began to
weep, too, and then another, and then another, until
little by little the chapel was filled with a low sound of
weeping. Then the convent choir began to sing, the
weeping stopped, and everything went on as before.
Soon afterward the service ended. The fine, jubilant
notes of the heavy chapel-bells were throbbing through
the moonlit garden as the bishop stepped into his coach
and drove away. The white walls, the crosses on the
graves, the silvery birches, and the far-away moon
hanging directly over the monastery, all seemed to be
living a life of their own, incomprehensible, but very
near to mankind. It was early in April, and a chilly
night had succeeded a warm spring day. A light frost
was falling, but the breath of spring could be felt in
the soft, cool air. The road from the monastery was
sandy, the horses were obliged to proceed at a walk,
and, bathed in the bright, tranquil moonlight, a stream
of pilgrims was crawling along on either side of the
coach. All were thoughtful, no one spoke. Everything
around them, the trees, the sky, and even the
297moon, looked so young and intimate and friendly that
they were reluctant to break the spell which they
hoped might last for ever.
Finally the coach entered the city, and rolled down
the main street. All the stores were closed but that of
Erakin, the millionaire merchant. He was trying his
electric lights for the first time, and they were flashing
so violently that a crowd had collected in front of the
store. Then came wide, dark streets in endless succession,
and then the highway, and fields, and the
smell of pines. Suddenly a white crenelated wall
loomed before him, and beyond it rose a tall belfry
flanked by five flashing golden cupolas, all bathed
in moonlight. This was the Pankratievski Monastery
where his Reverence Peter lived. Here, too, the
calm, brooding moon was floating directly above
the monastery. The coach drove through the gate,
its wheels crunching on the sand. Here and there
the dark forms of monks started out into the moonlight
and footsteps rang along the flagstone paths.
“Your mother has been here while you were away,
your Reverence,” a lay brother told the bishop as he
entered his room.
“My mother? When did she come?”
“Before vespers. She first found out where you
were, and then drove to the convent.”
“Then it was she whom I saw just now in the
chapel! Oh, Father in heaven!”
And his Reverence laughed for joy.
298“She told me to tell you, your Reverence,” the lay
brother continued, “that she would come back to-morrow.
She had a little girl with her, a grandchild,
I think. She is stopping at Ovsianikoff’s inn.”
“What time is it now?”
“It is after eleven.”
“What a nuisance!”
His Reverence sat down irresolutely in his sitting-room,
unwilling to believe that it was already so late.
His arms and legs were racked with pain, the back of
his neck was aching, and he felt uncomfortable and
hot. When he had rested a few moments he went into
his bedroom and there, too, he sat down, and dreamed
of his mother. He heard the lay brother walking away
and Father Sisoi the priest coughing in the next room.
The monastery clock struck the quarter.
His Reverence undressed and began his prayers. He
spoke the old, familiar words with scrupulous attention,
and at the same time he thought of his mother.
She had nine children, and about forty grandchildren.
She had lived from the age of seventeen to the age of
sixty with her husband the deacon in a little village.
His Reverence remembered her from the days of his
earliest childhood, and, ah, how he had loved her! Oh,
that dear, precious, unforgettable childhood of his!
Why did those years that had vanished for ever seem
so much brighter and richer and gayer than they
really had been? How tender and kind his mother
had been when he was ill in his childhood and youth!
299His prayers mingled with the memories that burned
ever brighter and brighter in his heart like a flame,
but they did not hinder his thoughts of his mother.
When he had prayed he lay down, and as soon as
he found himself in the dark there rose before his eyes
the vision of his dead father, his mother, and Lyesopolye,
his native village. The creaking of wagon wheels,
the bleating of sheep, the sound of church-bells on a
clear summer morning, ah, how pleasant it was to
think of these things! He remembered Father Simeon,
the old priest at Lyesopolye, a kind, gentle, good-natured
old man. He himself had been small, and the
priest’s son had been a huge strapping novice with a
terrible bass voice. He remembered how this young
priest had scolded the cook once, and had shouted:
“Ah, you she-ass of Jehovah!” And Father Simeon
had said nothing, and had only been mortified because
he could not for the life of him remember reading of an
ass of that name in the Bible!
Father Simeon had been succeeded by Father
Demian, a hard drinker who sometimes even went so
far as to see green snakes. He had actually borne the
nickname of “Demian the Snake-Seer” in the village.
Matvei Nikolaitch had been the schoolmaster, a kind,
intelligent man, but a hard drinker, too. He never
thrashed his scholars, but for some reason he kept a little
bundle of birch twigs hanging on his wall, under
which was a tablet bearing the absolutely unintelligible
inscription: “Betula Kinderbalsamica Secuta.”
300He had had a woolly black dog whom he called
“Syntax.”
The bishop laughed. Eight miles from Lyesopolye
lay the village of Obnino possessing a miraculous
icon. A procession started from Obnino every summer
bearing the wonder-working icon and making the
round of all the neighbouring villages. The church-bells
would ring all day long first in one village, then
in another, and to Little Paul (his Reverence was called
Little Paul then) the air itself seemed tremulous with
rapture. Barefoot, hatless, and infinitely happy, he
followed the icon with a naïve smile on his lips and
naïve faith in his heart.
Until the age of fifteen Little Paul had been so slow
at his lessons that his parents had even thought of
taking him out of the ecclesiastical school and putting
him to work in the village store.
The bishop turned over so as to break the train of
his thoughts, and tried to go to sleep.
“My mother has come!” he remembered, and
laughed.
The moon was shining in through the window, and
the floor was lit by its rays while he lay in shadow. A
cricket was chirping. Father Sisoi was snoring in the
next room, and there was a forlorn, friendless, even a
vagrant note in the old man’s cadences.
Sisoi had once been the steward of a diocesan bishop
and was known as “Father Former Steward.” He
was seventy years old, and lived sometimes in a
301monastery sixteen miles away, sometimes in the city,
sometimes wherever he happened to be. Three days
ago he had turned up at the Pankratievski Monastery,
and the bishop had kept him here in order to discuss
with him at his leisure the affairs of the monastery.
The bell for matins rang at half past one. Father
Sisoi coughed, growled something, and got up.
“Father Sisoi!” called the bishop.
Sisoi came in dressed in a white cassock, carrying a
candle in his hand.
“I can’t go to sleep,” his Reverence said. “I must
be ill. I don’t know what the matter is; I have fever.”
“You have caught cold, your Lordship. I must rub
you with tallow.”
Father Sisoi stood looking at him for a while and
yawned: “Ah-h—the Lord have mercy on us!”
“Erakin has electricity in his store now—I hate
it!” he continued.
Father Sisoi was aged, and round-shouldered, and
gaunt. He was always displeased with something or
other, and his eyes, which protruded like those of a
crab, always wore an angry expression.
“I don’t like it at all,” he repeated—“I hate it.”
Next day, on Palm Sunday, his Reverence officiated
at the cathedral in the city. Then he went to the
diocesan bishop’s, then to see a general’s wife who was
302very ill, and at last he drove home. At two o’clock
two beloved guests were having dinner with him, his
aged mother, and his little niece Kitty, a child of eight.
The spring sun was peeping cheerily in through the
windows as they sat at their meal, and was shining
merrily on the white tablecloth, and on Kitty’s red
hair. Through the double panes they heard the rooks
cawing, and the magpies chattering in the garden.
“It is nine years since I saw you last,” said the old
mother, “and yet when I caught sight of you in the
convent chapel yesterday I thought to myself: God
bless me, he has not changed a bit! Only perhaps you
are a little thinner than you were, and your beard has
grown longer. Oh, holy Mother, Queen of Heaven!
Everybody was crying yesterday. As soon as I saw
you, I began to cry myself, I don’t know why. His
holy will be done!”
In spite of the tenderness with which she said this,
it was clear that she was not at her ease. It was as if
she did not know whether to address the bishop by
the familiar “thee” or the formal “you,” and whether
she ought to laugh or not. She seemed to feel herself
more of a poor deacon’s wife than a mother in his
presence. Meanwhile Kitty was sitting with her eyes
glued to the face of her uncle the bishop as if she were
trying to make out what manner of man this was.
Her hair had escaped from her comb and her bow of
velvet ribbon, and was standing straight up around
her head like a halo. Her eyes were foxy and bright.
303She had broken a glass before sitting down, and now,
as she talked, her grandmother kept moving first a
glass, and then a wine glass out of her reach. As the
bishop sat listening to his mother, he remembered how,
many, many years ago, she had sometimes taken him
and his brothers and sisters to visit relatives whom
they considered rich. She had been busy with her own
children in those days, and now she was busy with her
grandchildren, and had come to visit him with Kitty
here.
“Your sister Varenka has four children”—she was
telling him—“Kitty is the oldest. God knows why,
her father fell ill and died three days before Assumption.
So my Varenka has been thrown out into
the cold world.”
“And how is my brother Nikanor?” the bishop asked.
“He is well, thank the Lord. He is pretty well,
praise be to God. But his son Nikolasha wouldn’t go
into the church, and is at college instead learning to
be a doctor. He thinks it is best, but who knows?
However, God’s will be done!”
“Nikolasha cuts up dead people!” said Kitty, spilling
some water into her lap.
“Sit still child!” her grandmother said, quietly
taking the glass out of her hands.
“How long it is since we have seen one another!”
exclaimed his Reverence, tenderly stroking his mother’s
shoulder and hand. “I missed you when I was abroad,
I missed you dreadfully.”
304“Thank you very much!”
“I used to sit by my window in the evening listening
to the band playing, and feeling lonely and forlorn.
Sometimes I would suddenly grow so homesick that
I used to think I would gladly give everything I had
in the world for a glimpse of you and home.”
His mother smiled and beamed, and then immediately
drew a long face and said stiffly:
“Thank you very much!”
The bishop’s mood changed. He looked at his
mother, and could not understand where she had acquired
that deferential, humble expression of face and
voice, and what the meaning of it might be. He
hardly recognised her, and felt sorrowful and vexed.
Besides, his head was still aching, and his legs were
racked with pain. The fish he was eating tasted insipid
and he was very thirsty.
After dinner two wealthy lady landowners visited
him, and sat for an hour and a half with faces a mile
long, never uttering a word. Then an archimandrite,
a gloomy, taciturn man, came on business. Then
the bells rang for vespers, the sun set behind the
woods, and the day was done. As soon as he got back
from church the bishop said his prayers, and went to
bed, drawing the covers up closely about his ears. The
moonlight troubled him, and soon the sound of voices
came to his ears. Father Sisoi was talking politics
with his mother in the next room.
“There is a war in Japan now,” he was saying.
305“The Japanese belong to the same race as the Montenegrins.
They fell under the Turkish yoke at the
same time.”
And then the bishop heard his mother’s voice say:
“And so, you see, when we had said our prayers, and
had our tea, we went to Father Yegor——”
She kept saying over and over again that they “had
tea,” as if all she knew of life was tea-drinking.
The memory of his seminary and college life slowly
and mistily took shape in the bishop’s mind. He had
been a teacher of Greek for three years, until he could
no longer read without glasses, and then he had taken
the vows, and had been made an inspector. When he
was thirty-two he had been made the rector of a seminary,
and then an archimandrite. At that time his
life had been so easy and pleasant, and had seemed
to stretch so far, far into the future that he could see
absolutely no end to it. But his health had failed, and
he had nearly lost his eyesight. His doctors had advised
him to give up his work and go abroad.
“And what did you do next?” asked Father Sisoi
in the adjoining room.
“And then we had tea,” answered his mother.
“Why, Father, your beard is green!” exclaimed Kitty
suddenly. And she burst out laughing.
The bishop remembered that the colour of Father
Sisoi’s beard really did verge on green, and he, too,
laughed.
“My goodness! What a plague that child is!”
306cried Father Sisoi in a loud voice, for he was growing
angry. “You’re a spoiled baby you are! Sit still!”
The bishop recalled the new white church in which
he had officiated when he was abroad, and the sound
of a warm sea. Eight years had slipped by while he
was there; then he had been recalled to Russia, and
now he was already a bishop, and the past had faded
away into mist as if it had been but a dream.
Father Sisoi came into his room with a candle in
his hand.
“Well, well!” he exclaimed, surprised. “Asleep
already, your Reverence?”
“Why not?”
“It’s early yet, only ten o’clock! I bought a candle
this evening and wanted to rub you with tallow.”
“I have a fever,” the bishop said, sitting up. “I
suppose something ought to be done. My head feels
so queer.”
Sisoi began to rub the bishop’s chest and back with
tallow.
“There—there—” he said. “Oh, Lord God Almighty!
There! I went to town to-day, and saw
that—what do you call him?—that archpresbyter
Sidonski. I had tea with him. I hate him! Oh,
Lord God Almighty! There! I hate him!”
307
The diocesan bishop was very old and very fat, and
had been ill in bed with gout for a month. So his
Reverence Peter had been visiting him almost every
day, and had received his suppliants for him. And
now that he was ill he was appalled to think of the
futilities and trifles they asked for and wept over. He
felt annoyed at their ignorance and cowardice. The
very number of all those useless trivialities oppressed
him, and he felt as if he could understand the
diocesan bishop who had written “Lessons in Free
Will” when he was young, and now seemed so
absorbed in details that the memory of everything
else, even of God, had forsaken him. Peter must
have grown out of touch with Russian life while he
was abroad, for it was hard for him to grow used to it
now. The people seemed rough, the women stupid
and tiresome, the novices and their teachers uneducated
and often disorderly. And then the documents
that passed through his hands by the hundreds
of thousands! The provosts gave all the priests in
the diocese, young and old, and their wives and children
marks for good behaviour, and he was obliged
to talk about all this, and read about it, and write
serious articles on it. His Reverence never had
a moment which he could call his own; all day his
nerves were on edge, and he only grew calm when he
found himself in church.
308He could not grow accustomed to the terror which
he involuntarily inspired in every breast in spite of
his quiet and modest ways. Every one in the district
seemed to shrivel and quake and apologise as soon
as he looked at them. Every one trembled in his
presence; even the old archpresbyters fell down at
his feet, and not long ago one suppliant, the old wife
of a village priest, had been prevented by terror from
uttering a word, and had gone away without asking
for anything. And he, who had never been able to
say a harsh word in his sermons, and who never blamed
people because he pitied them so, would grow exasperated
with these suppliants, and hurl their petitions
to the ground. Not a soul had spoken sincerely and
naturally to him since he had been here; even his old
mother had changed, yes, she had changed very
much! Why did she talk so freely to Sisoi when all the
while she was so serious and ill at ease with him, her
own son? It was not like her at all! The only person
who behaved naturally in his presence, and who said
whatever came into his head was old man Sisoi, who
had lived with bishops all his life, and had outlasted
eleven of them. And therefore his Reverence felt at
ease with Sisoi, even though he was, without doubt, a
rough and quarrelsome person.
After morning prayers on Tuesday the bishop received
his suppliants, and lost his temper with them.
He felt ill, as usual, and longed to go to bed, but he
had hardly entered his room before he was told that
309the young merchant Erakin, a benefactor of the
monastery, had called on very important business.
The bishop was obliged to receive him. Erakin stayed
about an hour talking in a very loud voice, and it was
hard to understand what he was trying to say.
After he had gone there came an abbess from a
distant convent, and by the time she had gone the
bells were tolling for vespers; it was time for the bishop
to go to church.
The monks sang melodiously and rapturously that
evening; a young, black-bearded priest officiated. His
Reverence listened as they sang of the Bridegroom and
of the chamber swept and garnished, and felt neither
repentance nor sorrow, but only a deep peace of mind.
He sat by the altar where the shadows were deepest,
and was swept in imagination back into the days of
his childhood and youth, when he had first heard these
words sung. The tears trickled down his cheeks, and
he meditated on how he had attained everything in
life that it was possible for a man in his position to
attain; his faith was unsullied, and yet all was not
clear to him; something was lacking, and he did not
want to die. It still seemed to him that he was leaving
unfound the most important thing of all. Something of
which he had dimly dreamed in the past, hopes that
had thrilled his heart as a child, a schoolboy, and a
traveller in foreign lands, troubled him still.
“How beautifully they are singing to-day!” he
thought. “Oh, how beautifully!”
310
On Thursday he held a service in the cathedral. It
was the festival of the Washing of Feet. When the
service was over, and the people had gone to their
several homes, the sun was shining brightly and
cheerily, and the air was warm. The gutters were
streaming with bubbling water, and the tender songs
of larks came floating in from the fields beyond
the city, bringing peace to his heart. The trees were
already awake, and over them brooded the blue, unfathomable
sky.
His Reverence went to bed as soon as he reached
home, and told the lay brother to close his shutters.
The room grew dark. Oh, how tired he was!
As on the day before, the sound of voices and the
tinkling of glasses came to him from the next room.
His mother was gaily recounting some tale to Father
Sisoi, with many a quaint word and saying, and the
old man was listening gloomily, and answering in a
gruff voice:
“Well, I never! Did they, indeed? What do you
think of that!”
And once more the bishop felt annoyed, and then
hurt that the old lady should be so natural and simple
with strangers, and so silent and awkward with her
own son. It even seemed to him that she always tried
to find some pretext for standing in his presence, as if
311she felt uneasy sitting down. And his father? If he
had been alive, he would probably not have been able
to utter a word when the bishop was there.
Something in the next room fell to the floor with a
crash. Kitty had evidently broken a cup or a saucer,
for Father Sisoi suddenly snorted, and cried angrily:
“What a terrible plague this child is! Merciful
heavens! No one could keep her supplied with china!”
Then silence fell. When he opened his eyes again,
the bishop saw Kitty standing by his bedside staring
at him, her red hair standing up around her head like
a halo, as usual.
“Is that you, Kitty?” he asked. “Who is that
opening and shutting doors down there?”
“I don’t hear anything.”
He stroked her head.
“So your cousin Nikolasha cuts up dead people,
does he?” he asked, after a pause.
“Yes, he is learning to.”
“Is he nice?”
“Yes, very, only he drinks a lot.”
“What did your father die of?”
“Papa grew weaker and weaker, and thinner and
thinner, and then came his sore throat. And I was
ill, too, and so was my brother Fedia. We all had
sore throats. Papa died, Uncle, but we got well.”
Her chin quivered, her eyes filled with tears.
“Oh, your Reverence!” she cried in a shrill voice,
beginning to weep bitterly. “Dear Uncle, mother and
312all of us are so unhappy! Do give us a little money!
Help us, Uncle darling!”
He also shed tears, and for a moment could not
speak for emotion. He stroked her hair, and touched
her shoulder, and said:
“All right, all right, little child. Wait until Easter
comes, then we will talk about it. I’ll help you.”
His mother came quietly and timidly into the room,
and said a prayer before the icon. When she saw that
he was awake, she asked:
“Would you like a little soup?”
“No, thanks,” he answered. “I’m not hungry.”
“I don’t believe you are well—I can see that you
are not well. You really mustn’t fall ill! You have
to be on your feet all day long. My goodness, it makes
one tired to see you! Never mind, Easter is no
longer over the hills and far away. When Easter
comes you will rest. God will give us time for a little
talk then, but now I’m not going to worry you any
more with my silly chatter. Come, Kitty, let his
Lordship have another forty winks——”
And the bishop remembered that, when he was a
boy, she had used exactly the same half playful, half
respectful tone to all high dignitaries of the church.
Only by her strangely tender eyes, and by the anxious
look which she gave him as she left the room could
any one have guessed that she was his mother. He
shut his eyes, and seemed to be asleep, but he heard
the clock strike twice, and Father Sisoi coughing next
313door. His mother came in again, and looked shyly at
him. Suddenly there came a bang, and a door
slammed; a vehicle of some kind drove up to the front
steps. The lay brother came into the bishop’s room,
and called:
“Your Reverence!”
“What is it?”
“Here is the coach! It is time to go to our Lord’s
Passion——”
“What time is it?”
“Quarter to eight.”
The bishop dressed, and drove to the cathedral.
He had to stand motionless in the centre of the church
while the twelve gospels were being read, and the first
and longest and most beautiful of them all he read
himself. A strong, valiant mood took hold of him.
He knew this gospel, beginning “The Son of Man is
risen to-day—,” by heart, and as he repeated it, he
raised his eyes, and saw a sea of little lights about
him. He heard the sputtering of candles, but the
people had disappeared. He felt surrounded by those
whom he had known in his youth; he felt that they
would always be here until—God knew when!
His father had been a deacon, his grandfather had
been a priest, and his great grandfather a deacon.
He sprang from a race that had belonged to the church
since Christianity first came to Russia, and his love
for the ritual of the church, the clergy, and the sound
of church-bells was inborn in him, deeply, irradicably
314implanted in his heart. When he was in church, especially
when he was taking part in the service himself,
he felt active and valorous and happy. And so it was
with him now. Only, after the eighth gospel had been
read, he felt that his voice was becoming so feeble that
even his cough was inaudible; his head was aching, and
he began to fear that he might collapse. His legs
were growing numb; in a little while he ceased to
have any sensation in them at all, and could not
imagine what he was standing on, and why he did
not fall down.
It was quarter to twelve when the service ended.
The bishop went to bed as soon as he reached home,
without even saying his prayers. As he pulled his
blanket up over him, he suddenly wished that he were
abroad; he passionately wished it. He would give
his life, he thought, to cease from seeing these cheap,
wooden walls and that low ceiling, to cease from
smelling the stale scent of the monastery.
If there were only some one with whom he could
talk, some one to whom he could unburden his heart!
He heard steps in the adjoining room, and tried to
recall who it might be. At last the door opened, and
Father Sisoi came in with a candle in one hand, and a
teacup in the other.
“In bed already, your Reverence?” he asked. “I
have come to rub your chest with vinegar and vodka.
It is a fine thing, if rubbed in good and hard. Oh,
Lord God Almighty! There—there—I have just come
315from our monastery. I hate it. I am going away from
here to-morrow, my Lord. Oh, Lord, God Almighty—there——”
Sisoi never could stay long in one place, and he now
felt as if he had been in this monastery for a year. It
was hard to tell from what he said where his home was,
whether there was any one or anything in the world
that he loved, and whether he believed in God or not.
He himself never could make out why he had become
a monk, but then, he never gave it any thought, and
the time when he had taken the vows had long since
faded from his memory. He thought he must have
been born a monk.
“Yes, I am going away to-morrow. Bother this
place!”
“I want to have a talk with you—I never seem to
have the time—” whispered the bishop, making a
great effort to speak. “You see, I don’t know any
one—or anything—here——”
“Very well then, I shall stay until Sunday, but no
longer! Bother this place!”
“What sort of a bishop am I?” his Reverence went
on, in a faint voice. “I ought to have been a village
priest, or a deacon, or a plain monk. All this is choking
me—it is choking me——”
“What’s that? Oh, Lord God Almighty! There—go
to sleep now, your Reverence. What do you mean?
What’s all this you are saying? Good night!”
All night long the bishop lay awake, and in the
316morning he grew very ill. The lay brother took fright
and ran first to the archimandrite, and then for the
monastery doctor who lived in the city. The doctor,
a stout, elderly man, with a long, grey beard, looked
intently at his Reverence, shook his head, knit his
brows, and finally said:
“I’ll tell you what, your Reverence; you have
typhoid.”
The bishop grew very thin and pale in the next
hour, his eyes grew larger, his face became covered
with wrinkles, and he looked quite small and old. He
felt as if he were the thinnest, weakest, puniest man
in the whole world, and as if everything that had occurred
before this had been left far, far behind, and
would never happen again.
“How glad I am of that!” he thought. “Oh, how
glad!”
His aged mother came into the room. When she
saw his wrinkled face and his great eyes, she was
seized with fear, and, falling down on her knees by his
bedside, she began kissing his face, his shoulders, and
his hands. He seemed to her to be the thinnest,
weakest, puniest man in the world, and she forgot
that he was a bishop, and kissed him as if he had been
a little child whom she dearly, dearly loved.
“Little Paul, my dearie!” she cried. “My little
son, why do you look like this? Little Paul, oh, answer
me!”
Kitty, pale and severe, stood near them, and could
317not understand what was the matter with her uncle,
and why granny wore such a look of suffering on her
face, and spoke such heartrending words. And he, he
was speechless, and knew nothing of what was going
on around him. He was dreaming that he was an
ordinary man once more, striding swiftly and merrily
through the open country, a staff in his hand, bathed
in sunshine, with the wide sky above him, as free as
a bird to go wherever his fancy led him.
“My little son! My little Paul! Answer me!”
begged his mother.
“Don’t bother his Lordship,” said Sisoi. “Let him
sleep. What’s the matter?”
Three doctors came, consulted together, and drove
away. The day seemed long, incredibly long, and
then came the long, long night. Just before dawn on
Saturday morning the lay brother went to the old
mother who was lying on a sofa in the sitting-room,
and asked her to come into the bedroom; his Reverence
had gone to eternal peace.
Next day was Easter. There were forty-two churches
in the city, and two monasteries, and the deep, joyous
notes of their bells pealed out over the town from
morning until night. The birds were carolling, the
bright sun was shining. The big market place was
full of noise; barrel organs were droning, concertinas
were squealing, and drunken voices were ringing
through the air. Trotting races were held in the main
street that afternoon; in a word, all was merry and
318gay, as had been the year before and as, doubtless, it
would be the year to come.
A month later a new bishop was appointed, and
every one forgot his Reverence Peter. Only the dead
man’s mother, who is living now in a little country
town with her son the deacon, when she goes out at
sunset to meet her cow, and joins the other women
on the way, tells them about her children and grandchildren,
and her boy who became a bishop.
And when she mentions him she looks at them shyly,
for she is afraid they will not believe her.
And, as a matter of fact, not all of them do.
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