“There was a time,—
And pity ’tis so good a time had wings
To fly away,—when reverence was paid
To a grey head; ’twas held a sacrilege
Not expiable, to deny respect
To one, sir, of your years and gravity.”
Randolph.
Mr. Martindale, as we have said in the
preceding chapter, left his company, and walked
up to the Abbey to ascertain, if possible, from
some of the servants the cause of their master’s
sudden journey. The old gentleman was not
in the habit usually of entering the house by
the grand entrance; but on the present occasion,
seeing the great doors partly open, he directed
his steps that way; and as he approached, he
heard voices with which he had not been familiar,
and when he opened the door, he saw
two vulgar-looking fellows gaping about in
broad astonishment at the splendid decorations
of the great hall, interspersing their profound
remarks with unseemly puffings of tobacco-smoke
from two pipes with which they were regaling
themselves. It was not on trifling occasions
that Mr. Martindale was struck dumb with
astonishment; but at the sight which he then
saw, he was so far thunderstruck that he did
not instantaneously commence the pouring forth
of his interrogatory eloquence. He gazed for
a moment or more on the two men, and they
gazed as long at him; but their looks were not
so full of astonishment as his were: at length
he spoke in very hurried tones.
“Who are you? What do you want here?
What do you mean by smoking your filthy
pipes in this place? Have the goodness to
walk out directly.”
To this speech one of the men calmly replied,
“We have as much right here, sir, as you
have, and perhaps more; for I guess you are
only one of the upper servants, and we are
sheriffs’ officers.”
“Sheriffs’ devils!” foamed forth the old gentleman;
“and who sent you here, I pray? I
will have no sheriffs’ officers here, I can tell
you.”
This language was not respectful to the men
of office, and therefore it was more sharply
taken up by the speaker, who, laying aside his
composure, very loudly answered:
“Come, old fellow, let us have none of your
insolence, or I shall soon let you know who is
master.”
Furiously again Mr. Martindale was beginning
to reply, by repeating the word “Master!
master! master!” when the noise brought
the butler to the scene of contention. This
butler was more properly a spy over the actions
of the Hon. Philip Martindale than a servant of
his: he was the immediate pensioner of the old
gentleman; but he was also somewhat attached
to his nominal master, and he therefore acted
the part of a traitor rather treacherously. He
knew, but had not communicated to Mr. Martindale,
the intention of the young gentleman
to make a journey to London, and he knew
also the business on which he had gone; and
he had also, on previous occasions, known more
than he had thought fit to communicate to his
employer. When this trusty domestic made
his appearance, Mr. Martindale addressed him
very impetuously:
“Oliver! what does all this mean? Here
are two insolent dirty fellows calling themselves
sheriffs’ officers, and strutting about as if the
house was their own. Where do they come
from? What do they want here? And pray,
where is your master? I must insist upon
knowing the meaning of all this.”
Mr. Oliver looked foolish and confused, and
while he was beating his brains for a plausible
lie, one of the officers began to save him all
further trouble of invention by saying:
“Why, if you must know the meaning of
all this, I will tell you. The Hon. Philip Martindale
is—”
“Is gone out shooting,” interrupted the
trusty Oliver: “he went out early this morning,
sir.”
“Shooting with a long bow,” muttered the
officer. “Shooting at this time of year, you
rascal!” exclaimed Mr. Martindale: “why, you
puppy, this is only the beginning of August.”
“I don’t mean shooting game, sir, but shooting
with bow and arrow. He—he—is gone to—an
archery meeting.”
“What! is he gone to an archery meeting
in London? But pray, Mr. Oliver, can you
tell me why he has been so careful of his own
carriage as to take a hired chaise?”
“He was afraid, sir, that the journey might
be rather too long for his own horses.”
“Yes,” interrupted the officer, “it would
have been too far for his own horses to travel.”
“Hold your tongue, you puppy!” was the
only acknowledgment which the speaker received
for this corroboration of the trusty
Oliver’s speech: then turning again to Oliver,
Mr. Martindale continued:
“So your master is grown mightily merciful
to his horses all on a sudden; and was he also
afraid that his travelling chariot would be tired
of the long journey? Was it too far for the
carriage to travel?”
“I guess it was rather too far for his carriage
to go from home,” replied the officer.
“Fellow!” cried Mr. Martindale, “I want
none of your fool’s prate.”
“Perhaps not,” replied the man; “you seem
to have enough of your own.”
“Silence, you puppy! do you know who you
are speaking to? I will not put up with this
insolence in my own house. This is my own
house; I built it: every article in it is mine.”
“I beg your pardon, sir,” replied the officer,
“I did not know you: but I will immediately
explain.…”
“If you will have the goodness, sir, to step
this way,” interrupted Oliver, “perhaps my
master may be returned by this time. I will
tell you all the particulars.”
Mr. Martindale had kept this fellow a long
while in his employment, and had estimated
his fidelity by his treachery, forgetting that
they who have a double game to play make
a double profit upon it; for while the old
gentleman had been bribing him to betray the
young one, the young one had been paying
him to deceive the old one: so that by this
double diplomacy Oliver had become, to use
a phrase of Dr. Johnson’s, “a very pretty
rascal.” By deceiving both parties he had injured
both; but they had only themselves to
thank for it. Had they been simple enough
to follow the old maxim, that honesty is the best
policy, they would both have gained their ends
more effectually: the elder Martindale would
have experienced from the younger greater
deference and confidence, and the younger
Martindale would have experienced from the
elder a greater degree of liberality.
On the present occasion, it never for a
moment entered the mind of the old gentleman
that the sheriffs’ officers could be at Brigland
Abbey on any serious professional engagement.
It may indeed be asked, if he did not think
that, what was he thinking of? What, indeed!
That is a question which he himself could not
answer. Having however no suspicion of what
was really the case, he was the more easily
drawn away by the crafty Oliver from the
impending explanation which was threatened
by the officer.
Having thus drawn Mr. Martindale away
from the immediate explanation which was just
coming upon him, Oliver’s next concern was
to construct something of a plausible story
to account not only for the presence of the
officers at the Abbey, but for their rude behaviour,
which to his mind appeared totally insoluble
on any other theory than that of their
being in possession by virtue of their office.
To acknowledge this truth appeared to him
as the most effectual means to bring ruin on
himself and his master. As soon, therefore, as
he had conducted the old gentleman into the
library, he began to apologise for the presence
and rudeness of these men; and Mr. Martindale
being removed from the sight of those
who had excited his anger, began to grow a
little more cool, and was better prepared to
hear explanation. Fortunately for Oliver and
his master, the curiosity of the old gentleman
was not so strongly excited by the presence
of the officers as by the absence of the Hon.
Philip Martindale. He therefore very easily
believed the story which the trusty butler invented,
that these officers had been on a visit
to one of the servants, and that they were
rather intoxicated; but the difficulty to be
solved was the absence of the master of the
house, and his travelling with post-horses and
a hired chaise. Now Mr. Oliver would have
been utterly unworthy of his place and occupation
as a professional tell-tale and a hired
spy, had he been unable to invent, or unready
to utter, a most wilful, deliberate, and glorious
lie. Having therefore disposed of the difficulty
of the presence of the officers, he went on very
deliberately to say:
“Did not my master call at the cottage this
morning? I am sure he intended to do so;
but perhaps he was too early. I think he
must have called, but perhaps you were not
stirring, sir.”
“Not stirring, you dog; why I was at the
mineral spring by five o’clock, or very little
after.”
“Oh! then that accounts for your not seeing
my master before he went, for he set out just
after the turret-clock struck five; and very
likely he saw you walking across the meadow,
and knew it would be useless to call at the
cottage.”
“But I wonder why he did not tell me of
his engagement yesterday; for he must have
known it then, if he set out so early this morning.”
“I believe, sir,” replied the trusty one, “that
I am to blame for that; for a note was brought
here yesterday morning, and I forgot to deliver
it till just as my master was going to bed.
The note was from Sir Andrew Featherstone,
to say that the archery-meeting was fixed for
this day instead of next Wednesday, in order to
accommodate the young ladies from Hollywick
Priory, because they must accompany their
uncle to Cheltenham on Monday at the latest;
and so, sir, my master was forced to go in a
hurry; and as he had taken the carriage-horses
to the assizes yesterday, and as the other horses
had not been much used to the chariot, so he
ordered me to go down to the Red Lion to
bespeak a pair of chaise-horses, and I by mistake
ordered chaise and horses; and as it was
very late when I returned, my master would
not make any alteration, and he took them as
I had ordered.”
“Well,” replied Mr. Martindale, “but Parson
Denver told me that your master was gone
to London; now Sir Andrew Featherstone
has not an archery-meeting at his townhouse.”
“That must be a mistake of Mr. Denver’s;
for I am sure that my master is not gone to
London. I can show you, sir, the very letter
which my master received from Sir Andrew
Featherstone.”
Thereupon the trusty Oliver left the worthy
old gentleman for a few minutes to his own
meditations; and as he knew that it would be
in vain to look for a letter which had no existence
but in his own imagination, he used
this interval in properly tutoring the sheriffs’
officers in case they should again meet Mr.
Martindale.
“It is very unfortunate, sir,” exclaimed the
butler, when he returned to the library, “but
I believe my master must have carried the
letter with him; for I saw it on his dressing-table
this morning, and I read it when his
back was turned; but I think he went into the
room again before he left home, and he has,
no doubt, taken the letter with him.”
“Ay, ay, never mind; I don’t want to see
any of Sir Andrew Featherstone’s foolish letters.
Archery, forsooth! and for young women
to make such an exhibition of themselves!
It is absolutely indecent. I am sorry that
Philip should lend himself to encourage any
such ridiculous foolery. What crotchet will
seize the fashionable world next, I wonder. I
suppose we shall have the tread-mill converted
into a machine for the amusement of elegant
females. It will be a pretty species of gymnastic
exercise. Now, Oliver, I beg you will
not say a word to your master of my having
made inquiries after him, and see that these
drunken officers are sent away as soon as possible.
It is quite disreputable for the servants
to keep such company.”
Mr. Oliver made all the professions and
promises which were required of him, and was
not sorry to get so easily rid of his difficulties.
The old gentleman then recollecting that he
had left his guests to entertain each other at
the cottage, prepared to return home, but in
his way he met old Richard Smith, whom
indeed he did not personally know; but as the
poor man knew Mr. Martindale, he pulled off
his hat, and made a very humble obeisance to
the rich man. There was something very
striking in the appearance of Richard Smith,
especially when his head was uncovered. His
hair was of a silvery whiteness, and it hung
about his neck in full and graceful ringlets;
his forehead was bold and high, and almost
without a wrinkle; and his fine eyes, but little
dimmed with age, presented the appearance
of strength and vigour contending with time.
His figure was tall, and but just beginning to
bend under the weight of years. The manner
in which he made his obeisance was also impressive;
there was dignity in his humility, and
his bow was neither slavishly obsequious nor
vulgarly insolent. There was in his whole
appearance a manifestation of that indelible
nobility with which nature endows some individuals
of the human species in every rank
and condition of life, and which all the drilling
and tutoring of artificial society can neither
imitate nor improve. The venerable look and
the graceful demeanour of the old man induced
Mr. Martindale to take especial notice of him,
and ask his name, and place of abode, and
employment.
“My name, sir,” replied the old man, “is
Richard Smith; my abode is at Brigland; and
I am past labour.”
“Eh! what! Smith! Richard Smith!—Are
you the person that my graceless cub of a
cousin had the insolence to knock down and
send to jail as a poacher? I hope he has
paid you the amount of damages awarded to
you.”
“It was only yesterday, sir, that the verdict
was given, and I have no desire to hurry the
gentleman for payment: I wish him to make it
convenient to himself.”
“What are you talking about, my good
man? Do you think it can make any difference
to my cousin when he pays such a sum as one
hundred pounds. You fancy you are talking
about a shopkeeper.”
“I beg pardon, sir; I do not mean to speak
disparagingly of the Hon. Philip Martindale, but
lawyer Flint told me this morning, that when
he applied to lawyer Price about the settlement
of the damages and costs, he was informed that
they would be paid in a few days, but it was
not quite convenient at present.”
“Nonsense, the lawyers want to cheat you;
Philip has money enough to pay you, and I
will take care that you shall be paid. I will
see Price to-morrow, and he shall settle the business
at once. I am afraid the young man is
not quite so steady as he ought to be. I don’t
at all approve of his behaviour to you and your
niece, and I shall tell him my mind pretty
plainly.”
The old man shook his head and sighed. Mr.
Martindale observed his emotion, and interrogated
him more closely concerning the behaviour
of Philip, assuring him that, instead of
being offended, he should be thankful for any
information concerning the conduct of his
young relative, in order that he might use his
influence to correct it.
“I am not thinking, sir,” replied Richard
Smith, with great solemnity of tone, “only of
your honourable relative, but of the numbers
in his rank of life who make the miseries of the
poor their amusement and sport. I am thinking,
sir, that it is a sad mockery of the seriousness
of legislation, that profligate and ignorant lads
should sit as lawgivers.” Mr. Martindale
frowned, for he had bought a borough for his
hopeful relative; but as he stood in the attitude
of listening, the old man went on: “I
think it a sad disgrace to the country, that ignominious
and painful punishments are denounced
against those offences only which the
legislators have no temptation to commit.”
“Well done, old gentleman,” replied Mr.
Martindale, “you talk like a philosopher. I
am quite of your way of thinking. So you
don’t think that it is enough to make young
gentlemen pay for their frolics; you would
have them sent to work at the tread-mill, or
give them a public whipping now and then by
way of example.”
“And do not you think,” said the old man
more sternly, “that such inflictions as these
would be more effectual in checking the vices
of the higher orders, than a mere fine which is
paid and forgotten, or which places vice in
the same scale as a luxury?”
“Why, my good friend, you are a severe
legislator; you seem to be angry with my
young spark. But now, if your system should
be adopted, the injured party would gain no redress;
whereas now the wound is healed by
heavy damages; and surely it is much better to
receive a pecuniary compensation, than merely
to have the satisfaction of knowing that the offender
is personally punished.”
“Excuse me, sir, but you are not speaking
according to your own judgment. You must
know that the professed end of the law is security
from injury. Substitute a pecuniary compensation
for the punishment now denounced
against murder, and whose life is safe?”
“You are angry, my friend, you are angry.
You should not bear malice; I will take care
and see you righted; my cousin shall not have it
said of him that he oppresses the poor.”
“Then, perhaps, sir, you will so far befriend
me as that I may not be turned out of my cottage;
for lawyer Price told me that I should be
sent off as soon as the damages were paid.”
At this request of the poor man, or rather at
the occasion for the request, Mr. Martindale
was really vexed and angry. He had tolerated
many of his cousin’s vices under the name of
youthful follies; but when he found him guilty
of the meanness of so despicable a species of
revenge, he was deeply mortified, and with
great emotion replied: “The very day that
you are driven out of the cottage, Philip shall
leave the Abbey.”
Having said this, he hurried home to his
guests in no enviable frame of mind. Mr.
Denver was accustomed to the old gentleman’s
peculiarities; but Horatio Markham, who had
never known, and who scarcely apprehended
what it was to be dependent on another’s caprices,
felt uneasy and constrained, and was
beginning to wish that he could, consistently
with common politeness, reduce his visit to a
day, instead of a week or ten days. He was
however soon relieved from his temporary
uneasiness, by the return of good humour
to the tone and countenance of his host, who
proposed that, before visiting the Abbey, they
should call at old Richard’s cottage, and inquire
into his circumstances.