January was clearly a significant month in the life of Ivor Pelham
Marlay.
In the first month of the year 1919, when the world, released at last
from the epidemic of flags, was racked by the epidemic of influenza
(then the most present of the many plagues of peace), Ivor Marlay was
living in a small house by the River Kennet in Berkshire, which he had
bought furnished towards the end of the previous year. The house was a
little beyond the straggling village of Nasyngton, and a little over two
miles from Hungerford Station: a Queen Anne house of sweet reserve and
severity, with an orchard behind that wandered up a slight incline
towards the main road: and, in front, a twisting little drive to the
wooden gates by the bridge, and a wide lawn, not at all immaculate,
which breasted the quiet waters of the Kennet. To the right of the house
and lawn rose the wide stone bridge of Nasyngton, and a mighty bridge it
looked in that quiet and small place, a seared and ancient bridge of
strength and dignity; and over this bridge passed the traffic of the
London-Bath Road, as well it might and as it had done ever since the
days when Bath was the splendid corollary of the metropolis and both as
one beneath the light step of Beau Nash.... Relieved of the bridge, the
main road swept widely to the right, and, skirting the back of Ivor’s
domain, so through the village of Nasyngton towards its immense destiny.
But even this wide road, so arrogantly unrolling its Tarmac through the
quiet places of Berkshire, could be humbled by things greater than
itself; by things not eternal, but magnificently temporal. For how
furtively this London-Bath road swept by the great iron gates of Lady
Hall, two miles Londonwards from the village, the seat of the Earls of
Kare! How meek and shrunken did that haughty Tarmac become as it slunk
by the wide circle of asphalt of the yellow sort, that was loosely
strewn before the great iron gates of Lady Hall as a forerunner of the
consideration that awaited the guests of Rupert, Earl of Kare, whose
fortunes had lately been revived by a Chilian marriage.
His small house by Nasyngton suited Ivor very well. He had bought it
from two spinster sisters, the Misses Cloister-Smiths, and not only
because of its pleasant situation but because its interior and its
simple appointments had instantly pleased his taste. And, keeping his
flat in Upper Brook Street, there he had settled since November: adding
to its comforts only his cook-housekeeper, Mrs. Hope, his man Turner,
and as many books as he had thought to require.
Ivor’s nature, while not at all of a solitary bent in itself, was the
direct cause of his solitude; for though he had surprisingly little of
that self-consciousness which so often gets between a sensitive man and
his power to entertain or be entertained, he was definitely a “rather
difficult person”: in that he was neither easily amusing nor easily
amused—an irritating lack of accommodation which was growing on him
every year, every month almost. People thought him superior. He was,
however, a very concentrated person in his intimacies; and to his
friendships he had always applied himself with steady and undiminished
pleasure, he intensely enjoyed the practices of intimate friendship.
“Let there be restraint, but no secrecy!” Where was secrecy, there Ivor
was not; which was silly of him, for thus he was to a great degree cut
off from that amiable pastime which is called friendship in cities,
those manly and uninquiring companionships that have lasted for years
(since we were boys together, say) and will last till death do us part,
and were among the most charming of the many charming ties that bound
together our public life and body politic until the recent advent of
rude adventurers from the Board schools.
Rodney West, since Trevor’s death, had become Ivor’s most intimate male
friend; but Sir Rodney, as he by now inevitably was, was as a rule too
busy being a foremost K.C. and a rather bad-tempered M.P. of the
outmoded Liberal persuasion, which he and a few other bitter-reasonables
had just succeeded in dragging through the Hang-the-Kaiser Elections of
1918. No one but a half-wit or a non-combatant ever thought the Kaiser
would be hanged, but at the time there was a premium on half-wits, and
Rodney West made himself rather unpopular in the House by pointing that
out at every opportunity. “But some one’s got to do it,” said Rodney
West; and he could afford to, with his income.
As for Magdalen, she had been away from England for the last year, and
maybe she would never return. Magdalen had gone with her husband—to
Peru! Tristram Gray, a keen and gray man of more than fifty (who had
never in his life compromised about anything but his wife, which his
friends considered rather interesting of him, as an instance of the
queer effects love can have on a reasonable man), had surprised Magdalen
and every one else, on being invalided out in 1917, by an absurdly grim
determination to set out on his travels again. Modern England, it
seemed, did not at all please that hardened and decisive gentleman: it
was too confused and too confusing, he pleaded. He was going to Peru,
where he had years ago acquired, in an adventurous way, a kind of minor
castle in the mountains of the interior. “A splendid home,” Colonel Gray
described it, “and, let’s hope, an imposing sepulchre. Mountains, you
know, all over the place, and not toy ones. Things you can get hold of.
You’d better come with me, Magdalen.” That is all he said, and never
before had said as much. And Magdalen, surprising woman, had
straightway answered, “I will!” And had gravely gone with him—to Peru!
Rodney West and Ivor had accompanied them up to Liverpool to see them
off, and there had been a last dinner at the Midland Adelphi Hotel.
Those three men and Magdalen—those two men of more than middle years
(for West was five-and-fifty) and Ivor, just thirty, equalised all in a
quite amazing friendship. A good friendship it was, with a kind of
chivalry about it which was not the less real because it was rather
odd—very odd, some might think. But Magdalen had a way of melting
things and men, a Renaissance way she had of bringing the godlessness
out of a man so that it seemed to him he was a god. She was romantic to
the end, this Magdalen, in her shadowy way, saying to the youngest of
her three friends: “Perhaps one day you will come out to join us, Ivor.
But not until you are very tired, remember, for I hear it’s no place for
a striving person, and you are a striving person, you know. No, you
mustn’t come until you are certain that you don’t want to come back here
again—and oh! I hope that won’t happen! But I don’t think it will, for
you’re not stationary and still absurdly young, and maybe soon the
lovely thing you want will happen to you. And please promise me, Ivor,
never to believe those tiresome people who will tell you with a
plausible air of impatience that there are more important things in this
world than love or who will tell you to stick to one woman and be done
with it. Such people lie in wait for young men with crusading eyes, but
don’t you believe them—go on until you find a woman worth living for
and dying with, for love fills a man’s life while ‘more important
things’ can only occupy it. And that’s the truth I’m telling you,
Ivor....”
Magdalen had looked her age the night of that last dinner, she had
seemed a little strange, a little remote, a little tired, as though she
had already arrived in Peru and the journey had tired her.
During this last year his solitude had, as it were, forced Ivor to an
ambition; for it is in his solitary moments that a man conquers men. He
was reading now, for the first time in his life, with a set and serious
purpose; and as he read he thought, and when he had thought he made
notes, any amount of them; for he was not going to waste what knowledge
he purposed to acquire, he quite definitely wanted to talk and write
about it—especially to talk. There were two things this maddened world
of to-day plainly wanted, special knowledge and fine endeavour; and Ivor
Marlay was trying to discipline himself....
In the wake of many older and wiser men of Europe and America—that
surge of disenchantment, in 1919!—Ivor was realising that “though the
war was over nothing else was over;” and that the world was still
sliding to a queer hell. It wasn’t enough to say that the world was in
an infernal mess and showed no likelihood of getting out of it, the good
old world of progress and respectability. It was in more than the
infernal mess through which it had so often safely plunged: it was
deeply dirtied and befouled with every lawless idiocy of which angry
peoples seem increasingly capable. France was still livid with the
passions of nationality. France had learnt a cruel lesson, and was
intent to profit by it. France was angry, France was patriotic, France
was pathetic, France was sensitive, France was determined not to open
any windows to let the air in. Frenchmen set their shoulders, they had
ceased to shrug their shoulders: other people shrugged their shoulders
at them. La France, la France.... The mess of Reparations and
Reconstruction was already foreshadowed; and Mr. Maynard Keynes was
sharpening his pen. Wise men saw, even then, whither the passions of
nationality would lead Europe in the next few years; and while some said
the aggressive instinct of nationality was a fine thing, others pointed
to the mess. Wise men saw, but wise men can do nothing. Wise men cannot
deliver, they can only hail a deliverer.
It was obvious that if ever there was a time to be up and doing things,
in a quite heroic sense, this was the time—this changing, transitional
time! Here, now, was chance for fine endeavour. Whosoever was articulate
could now be heard, ... which was very strange in the life politic, a
quite new departure; for once on a time the Commons held only gentlemen,
but now they let in quite clever fellows—if such could be persuaded to
enter it; so that anything might happen, anything—in this transitional
time! And it was the business of English youth to make things happen, in
the finest way. But the basis of every endeavour must be work and
knowledge; and it was the impulse to the one and the desire for the
other that were now so plainly lacking in the “young men of
opportunity”; which was a favourite phrase of Ivor’s in many talks with
Magdalen and Rodney West.
All men who thought and wrote were at this time thinking and writing
about the conflicting aims and principles of labour and capital. The
calamity of Europe’s tumbling credit did not yet obsess people to the
degree that it very soon did—indeed it had not yet crashed to anywhere
near its lowest depth; but it was crashing. It seemed, then, that
everything would come out smooth and straight if only a sensible
accommodation could be found between the wage-earners and the employers
in each country; but in each country angry men never tired of
passionately crying in capital letters that there can be no
accommodation between Principles of Living, that each must have its
day—“or night!” dramatically thought sober men with their eyes on
Russia. For sober men were as like the men in Mr. Beresford’s
Revolution as a fish in the sea is like a fish in an aquarium, and in
them was a growing fear of the spectre of anarchy.
“The best way to beat a real revolution is to lead it; the next best way
is to talk to it; and the worst way of all is to fight it. Just because
some ancient idiot—probably the same Roman idiot who wrote si vis
pacem, para bellum, so that other idiots throughout history could take
it for gospel truth simply because it was in Latin—just because some
idiot once said that there’s no use talking to an angry man, no one has
ever tried it until knocking the angry man down has failed. There’s no
use doing anything else but talk to an angry man; and the idea that an
angry man must temporarily be a fool is one of the misconceptions on
which civilisation has been based ever since Saint Peter lost his temper
with the ear of the law....
“You cannot fight and beat revolutions as you can fight and beat
nations. You can kill a man, but you simply can’t kill a rebel. For a
proper rebel has an Ideal of living, while your only ideal is to kill
him so that you may preserve yourself. And the reason why no real
revolution, or religion, has ever been beaten is that rebels die for
something worth dying for, the future, but their enemies die only to
preserve the past: and makers of history are always stronger than the
makers of Empire. It is foolish to fight a revolutionary machine-gun
with a loyalist machine-gun, gun for gun, or a Soviet machine-gun with
a bourgeois machine-gun, gun for gun. You can only fight and beat them
with an Idea, a clean and fearless Idea. And there is only one such
Idea, the oldest in the world, the most blooded in the world, the
aristocratic idea: which really means that you can only keep and
strengthen your own freedom by acknowledging other peoples’. Mainly, it
must mean that....”
Ivor Marlay made notes. He was trying to get somewhere: as, one day much
later, he finally did. But a solitary man becomes very theoretical;
which, maybe, is why all revolutions have been born of solitary men and
all religions have come from the East.
He was interrupted.
One very cold and overcast afternoon towards the end of that January, he
was walking up one of the lanes that skirted the parkland of the Kare
estate. The lane led gently up the hill for a long and twisting way, and
the hill led gently down to the Thames valley. Ivor was walking
bareheaded, for his thick dark hair was covering enough on the bitterest
day; and his remaining arm was deep in his trouser pocket. He looked a
curiously still figure, walking thus: walking swiftly but nowhither,
taking thought and air, taking very deep thought: a lonely and defiant
man of affairs. How Aunt Percy would have chuckled to see him now!...
And then a sudden crash to break his thoughts, a rustling crash of angry
leaves and broken boughs, the wintry crash of a raped hedge! Three yards
in front, almost on top of him, a horse pirouetted in the little lane;
it pawed the air and ground, it made gestures towards equilibrium after
its sudden dash through the barrier of Kare Park on to a strolling man.
A sleek and quivering picture, drawn with a fine point against a dour
background. The horse snorted, it quivered, it eyed the astonished Ivor,
and then it pawed the ground with an arrogant air. And a woman laughed.
“Oh, Ivor Marlay!” the woman cried.
Thus Virginia happened—she who had been Virginia Tracy, then Mrs.
Sardon, now Lady Tarlyon. But the years that had passed sat as lightly
on her as pearls about her throat, her years decorated Virginia; and yet
where was the young poet among the many young poets she knew, to take
folly by the horns and sing of her complexion, crying that white samite
was black beside its sheen?
They grinned at each other, she above and he below. Fairly caught they
both were.
“I say, Virginia!” he cried with amazed pleasure.
“That’s me!” she laughed at him. The horse doubtfully came to rest, and
it breathed contemptuously into Ivor’s face.
“After all these years, these long years!” she exclaimed wonderingly,
staring down at him. Her eyes were clear, blue lights in the gloom. “Did
I frighten you, Ivor Marlay?”
“You nearly killed me, that’s all. But I would have died happily,
Virginia, saluting you with my pleasure at seeing you again....”
“You see,” he explained, “I had no idea you were so lovely. Someone
should have told me....”
“Oh, you’ve changed, Ivor Marlay!” Virginia mocked him deftly. “You are
being nice to Virginia. You are not despising Virginia....” That
slightly hoarse, breathless voice of hers—so pregnant somehow!
His happy gesture answered her. They were very pleased with each other.
“So I please you now, do I?” Lady Tarlyon gravely asked him.
She was so fair and straight and cleanly drawn; and there was gallantry
in her poise and in the way she dared his eyes. Was this the sharp,
antagonistic Virginia, this woman ...?
“I simply can’t tell you,” he said, from her stirrup, “how pleased I am
to see you, Virginia. And it’s a heartfelt truth dragged out of me by my
surprise at seeing you, by my pleasure at being nearly killed by
you....”
“That’s all very well, my friend, but it’s up to me to say that kind of
thing to you.” She swayed, and waved an intimidating gauntlet across his
eyes. “I’ll say them too, but later. People talk about you here and
there....”
He was beside her, beneath her. The horse and the lady, a warm picture.
She swayed above him in her saddle, she was exquisite. And there was
that clearness over her small face, that clear, dry sheen of chill air;
and the taut lips, bitten dry by the winter air, hard riding.... The
same Virginia, but how different! The same little white face, so white
and firm-featured, so proudly set and lightly carried; the same tiny
little flesh spot in the furrow of the chin—an inconsiderable little
chin it was, you remember?—the same wide blue eyes, so lazy in look, so
quick to retort, so light and dark, so kind and mocking, so hard and
soft: a soldier’s eyes they were really, but a soldier of fortune. And
“Swan and Edgar,” there they were! Ivor laughed to see them, he asked
after their unruly health—those twin Virginian curls, tumbling down
each cheek in golden-gay cascades from the wide-brimmed, so very rakish,
black felt hat! And how it became her in her severe habit, that wide
anarchist hat set gallantly about her golden hair!
This sudden meeting of the two former antagonists seemed to bring all
the sweetness out of each. It was in their eyes as they smiled at each
other in the January gloom of that little lane, with darkening Kare Park
on their right, on their left the wintry rolling land of Berkshire, and
all about them the pungent smell of sodden earth.
“Do you realise, Ivor, that we’re people of thirty now? Thirty, Ivor!”
“I’m glad enough for you,” he said. She understood. She charmed him by
her quick little smile of understanding. He admired her frankly....
“I say, Virginia,” he said eagerly, “we must talk a good deal. I want to
hear all about your life since we last spoke together at the Hallidays’
that night. I’ve seen you often in the distance since then, but we’ve
somehow never come to grips, it’s just not happened. And whenever I go
to the Mont Agel, M. Stutz always tells me that you were there the
evening before or that you will not be there for a long time for you
are abroad. M. Stutz worships you, Virginia, and quite right he is. But
he never tells me anything about you—and now I’ve found you I want an
official account of your life, for the rumours about you are so
conflicting....” He seemed to plead; and he was really pleading for her
to intrude upon his loneliness.
“You haven’t believed the nasty things, have you, Ivor?” she asked him
very suddenly. Her eyes were very serious on him. Hard eyes they were,
sometimes. Lady Tarlyon knew a lot.
“Oh, stuff!” he smiled at her. “Didn’t we make a pledge, Virginia, the
very last time we met? We’ll be friends, we said. Those were our exact
words. Well then!”
She pointed a finger dramatically down at him. “That pledge,” she said,
“is going to be redeemed. See if it isn’t!”
“I always thought,” he mocked, “that a man and a woman didn’t meet in a
lonely place for nothing.”
And then she thought to ask him how he came to be there anyway, in
that little lane. He told her of his house by the bridge, and of the
Misses Cloister-Smiths, remembering how in the old days Virginia had
been amused by the oddities of names. And as she listened, her first
gaiety at seeing him seemed somehow to leave her, she grew very quiet
and silent, as though a cloud from the bleak sky had sombrely caressed
her; and her eyes, so clear and merry but a moment before, wandered
about the bleak countryside, beyond his shoulder. Virginia’s eyes were
like sentinels, put there to beguile you while Virginia was far away, in
some curious unknown place. Only once she swayed to a sudden step of her
horse: she was quite immobile, a little sad. He watched her.
Then she told him what he had already guessed, that she and her husband
were staying with Rupert Kare for a week or so. No one in the place, she
remarked, had said a word about his living round above.
“I doubt if they know,” Ivor said. “I’m living a frightfully private
life.”
“So you never go up there, then?” she wondered curiously. “Though I seem
to remember your knowing Rupert quite well once upon a time.”
“Oh, yes!” But he might just as well have said, “Oh, no!” for all the
real answer he gave. But he knew that Virginia was peculiarly able to
understand people’s dislikes and distempers, and that she allowed for
them; it used commonly to be her own feeling about a good many people.
Yes, she understood.
“But it isn’t so easy for me—to outlaw myself like that,” she told him
gravely. “For there I am, you see, still in it. Same men, same women,
same places, same baubles. And only dress and dancing changes.... And so
I insisted on escaping this afternoon for an hour or so.”
“You are very wise, Ivor,” she suddenly said, “to have left all that as
suddenly as you did, so long ago. You annoyed us, but then you wanted to
annoy us, and you were wise. And do you know, I’ve always said that you
are very wise. Whenever your name is mentioned, whether it’s about a
book or a woman, I always say I knew you once and that you are very
wise. He knew us all once, I add, but now he is very wise and exclusive.
He is indiscriminately exclusive, I say....”
“It’s only that I’m trying to work,” he earnestly explained, looking up
at her. And she stared down at him, and under the shadow of her hat her
mouth seemed twisted into a queer little smile which puzzled him.
It was darkening; and it was as she was about to leave him that he
suddenly asked her:—
“I say, Virginia, do you remember being made to copy out in your first
copy-book as a child that marvellous sentence: ‘When gentlefolk meet,
compliments are exchanged’? Do you remember, Virginia?”
“That’s us to-day,” he explained.
Her eyes contracted just a little, quizzically. And with her head a
little sideways, she examined him. She was curiously detached, this
Virginia, yet curiously warm....
“Yes, but that’s not me, Ivor. It’s not my nature.” And it was as
though she wanted to tell him an ulterior something; but there was no
time, it was quickly darkening; the horse stamped eagerly, and she swung
away with it. “I’m not like that at all, really, Ivor,” she said
swiftly. “It’s you who draw it out of one ... maybe.”
“That’s your particular quality, Ivor,” she cried to him, a woman on a
horse, going away. Strangely come, strangely gone! He stared after her
through the hedge, a swaying figure through the darkening parkland. A
shadow astride a horse ... so fair and gallant! She turned and waved a
hand to him, she cried a word, but he didn’t hear it, it was a lost
word. A sable wraith she was in the parkland, fading away into the
dolorous crypt of winter. She was a symbol for something....
And Ivor thought: “O mystic and sombre Virginia....”
And he wondered if he would see her again. He wondered.... And he didn’t
know. He knew nothing about this Virginia—whom he had thought he had
judged so well! And as he strode homewards through the chill gloom he
mocked the judgments of his early “twenties” a little viciously.
“Christ, how they must have loathed me!” he thought.
He sat a while over his port that night. He contemplated Virginia. A
strange woman she is, he thought. Every woman has a legend, there is a
legend to every woman, but what is Virginia’s? She’s so pitiful—yet
why? You see, he explained to himself, she seems to have made a fool of
herself in a deep, secret way. People don’t understand her, and she
despises people, and because she despises people she thinks she despises
life....
Her name and face were familiar—too familiar—to that increasing part
of England that must read its daily and weekly lot of gossip in the
papers. The Romans had gladiators to amuse the mob, Ivor thought, but
England can do it quite cheaply, for the mob has learned to read....
Yet, somehow, Virginia had licensed this interest; maybe she had
licensed it by so whole-heartedly despising it, for there are ways and
ways of despising things. No one could deny that there was a glamour
about her, certainly there was a glamour. But there was a rottenness in
that glamour—now where did that come from? And why? Quite decent men
took faint licence with her name, while lewd men who had never met
Virginia, could never have met her, said that they had touched her, they
chuckled at the mention of her name....
Glamour! Now this glamour is a very remarkable thing, a strange and
indefinable thing, and very rare: for it does not fall on women because
they have many lovers, it does not fall on women because they are
wonderfully constant to one lover, and it certainly does not fall on
women who Do Things. Sometimes it happens on a courtesan, sometimes on
a great lady; but this glamour is no snob, it cares nothing for the
claims of fashion, for it may quite well happen on a dairymaid, so that
a whole countryside grows aware of her and a whole country sorrows for
her death. Philosophers have spun and metaphysicians toiled, yet this
stuff of glamour still evades the mortal coils of definition. And whence
it comes, no one can tell; nor why it comes—nor whither it goes! though
poets do say that they can smell the faint, musty smell of tragedy in
its destiny, and historians can never resist ascribing it to luckless
men and women of high degree. And sometimes you may love a woman
mightily, yet try as you will you cannot find glamour in her, you simply
cannot; she is just a woman, yours to love but not to dream about. Yes,
this glamour is a wayward thing, it just comes and touches a lovely
woman in each generation, and because of it her youth is long remembered
and her middle-age forgiven, if she live so long. It carries something
fey with it, this glamour. It is a mysterious and uncommon thing.
Poetry is written about it, and it is as wan as the poetry that is
written about it....
Virginia’s marriage to the American in 1913 had turned out a sorry
business. He was never known but as “the American”—but how unlike Henry
James’s it only appeared later!—and it was only by an effort of memory
that Ivor remembered his name had been Hector Sardon. He was dead. Ivor
had never met him, but had heard of him as a small, very feverish man,
and handsome of his kind, which was deep-eyed and sardonic; he was said
to speak with charming and vivid gestures of the hands. It had been a
love-match between him and Virginia, people said. Later, it was
whispered that “the American” had turned bad. The fever of his deep-set
eyes and nervous gestures was now explained. Cocaine. But all this
leaked very gradually out, for Virginia was secret, she never confided.
Virginia was always with him, they were silent companions, exquisite
dancers together; other people might whirl round a ballroom—for
exercise?—but Virginia and “the American” danced slowly, softly, in
exquisite certainty of movement. In life they might fumble, but not in
dancing.... And then, in the awful winter of 1915, Hector Sardon died
suddenly.
He died so suddenly that there had to be an inquest; and the question of
drugs was for some time uppermost in the minds of the public, the press,
and the coroner—so intimate did they become with it, indeed, that it
was never called but by its christian name of “dope.” The coroner, Mr.
Odleby Ingle, was inclined to be critical, though of course always just.
The press was also critical. And in warlike minds the question of
“drugs” was found to be inseparable from the question of “aliens.” It
was suggested that this kind of thing was un-English; and the “Huns” got
somehow mixed up with the death by cocaine of an American gentleman. The
Daily Mail, in quest of honour, Mr. Asquith’s head, two-million
circulation and as yet uninterned Germans, jousted once again with The
Hidden Hand of the Hun. Fierce gentlemen in Parliament were moved to
denunciation of England’s levity in its treatment of “aliens”; and Mr.
Pemberton Billing got the whole thing frightfully mixed up with the
inadequacy of London’s Air Defences.... The war-fever was at its highest
in 1915. The only person who kept his head, besides the soldiers who
were too busy fighting, was Mr. Bernard Shaw: which was why every one
wanted to punch it for him. It was generally conceded that England was
altogether too kind to aliens. (Before the war only foreigners without
money were called “aliens”; during the war all foreigners were called
aliens. Bella, horrida bella!) It was suggested that the march of
civilisation had taken us past the point when gentlemen need be
gentlemen in war-time. “Remember we are at war!” you could say, and at
once forget everything else. Only the police exempted themselves from
this remembering business in their treatment of aliens; for the English
police are the most courtly and the most incorruptible police in the
world—which was why every one said they were inefficient about the
“alien menace.” Soldiers laughed, but among civilians the alien-fever
ran brave and high, and ever braver and higher. “We cannot fight in
Flanders, but we will do our duty here!” cried fierce, and otherwise
quite pleasant, old gentlemen in clubs and trains.
The French civilian, imagined by the English civilian to be so
excitable, managed these things differently; the French civilian, in
fact, did not manage them at all; the French civilian said “Nous sommes
trahis!” at least once every day, and then, carelessly leaving the
“alien menace” to the police, set about the bloodshot business of life
in war-time. But the English civilian was made of sterner stuff; and
while young men were dying in the sky and on the land, on the sea and
under the sea, old men waxed worthy of the sons and nephews they had
“given” to England. “We are all pacifists at heart,” they said grimly,
“but war is the test of manhood.”
(It has become the fashion to slang old men in general. It is not a bad
fashion. Superior people despise all fashions; they smile. But it is a
pity that superior women despise all fashions.)
The inquest on Hector Sardon, conducted though it was with every tact
and discretion by Mr. Odleby Ingle, gave the alien agitation yet another
impetus. All this “dope” mess was due to aliens, it was said. No
Englishman took dope, unless he was lured to it by an alien’s fiendish
charm. (The fiendish charm of aliens in war-time, male and female, is of
course notorious. Ladies of title were supposed to fall to it every day,
and policemen had to harden their hearts like anything. Every one had to
harden his or her heart.) Nor did our allies take “dope.” Neither
France, Italy, Belgium, Portugal, Serbia, Roumania, Czecho-Slovakia,
Japan, Montenegro, Siam, nor the Hedjaz—only neutrals and “alien
enemies.” And it was suspected (shrewdly) that an American citizen would
not so readily have died of “dope” if America had been fighting with us;
the death by cocaine of Hector Sardon was considered to serve President
Wilson jolly well right for being “too proud to fight.”
The inquest was, of course, a very sad business for Virginia. Many
people carried away from the inquest an “indelible” picture of a hard,
white face with tired, defensive eyes; and the illustrated papers had to
pay through the nose for her likenesses from the photographers who had
always made Virginia’s life a burden by clamours for a “sitting.” The
traffic in “dope” was noticeably on the overworked police’s nerves that
year; and common-or-garden policemen were discovering an acute nose for
opium—“It makes you sick, the first pipe,” said people who had friends
who knew—all the way from Dover Street to Chinatown. (Poor little
Chinatown! what a boon thou hast been to Mr. Burke, and what little
profit hast thou had from him!) The dead American, that quiet and
feverish gentleman of the nervous gestures, was made the scapegoat of
the public’s interest and the press’s violence. An overdose of cocaine
was found to be the direct cause of Hector Sardon’s death. And the just
but severe inquisition of Mr. Odleby Ingle, “in probing this matter to
its very core,” unearthed some nasty details about Hector Sardon’s even
more private life. It was a bad look-out for certain gentlemen of his
acquaintance, it seemed. People began to read Petronius. It was only too
evident that Hector Sardon had gone the limit in more ways than one; and
Mr. Bottomley was furious about it, crying: “What shall be done with
these Pests? Shall England never be clean?” A nasty business! Virginia
suffered her ordeal intelligently, but in cold contempt. What had she to
do with this? There was no one but sympathised with her, and even Mr.
Odleby Ingle was noticeably considerate, though just, towards innocence
in so sorry a plight. Every one sympathised with Virginia; it was an
awful shame for her, they said. And yet, somehow, there was in their
voices a suggestion, ever so faint, that it was rather the kind of thing
which just might happen to Virginia rather than to any other woman....
“The American” had left her all his money, and Virginia was thus a very
rich woman, for her mother, a Colter from Yorkshire, had already left
her a considerable income. (Lady Carnal had adored her only child. As
Virginia, before her first marriage, would come in late from a party,
her mother would dart out at her from her bedroom and peck at her.
Virginia hated being pecked at, especially at that time of night, and
her face was a mask. “Pouf! you’ve been drinking!” would cry Lady Carnal
in desperation, and dart back into her bedroom again.) A year after the
American’s death Virginia married George Tarlyon—George Almeric St.
George, sixth Viscount Tarlyon. It was commonly admitted that you
couldn’t do better than marry George Tarlyon, for he was the perfect
thing of his kind. The war lost him nothing, had gained him everything
in an extraordinary degree—Major the Viscount Tarlyon, D.S.O., M.C.,
etc. Foreign countries contributed magnificently to the et ceteras,
while Virginia contributed herself and her fortune; for George Tarlyon,
at thirty-four, had spent everything he had ever had, except his place
in Galway, which was as unsaleable as it was uninhabitable—by him,
anyway. It was said to be a love-match. They had been seen together now
and then during Hector Sardon’s last year, and after his death they were
always together. Natural enough that she should try to forget that
unpleasantness in such gay and gallant and clean companionship. But
their marriage had not been thought quite inevitable, for nothing was
quite inevitable in dealing with people like Virginia and George Almeric
St. George—especially George Almeric St. George. Virginia, for all her
wits and beauty, might not hold Lord Tarlyon, poor though he was. It was
commonly said, and easily believed, that many women had loved him.
They were married in 1916. And there they were, Lord and Lady Tarlyon, a
notable couple everywhere. The only thing George Tarlyon had ever lacked
was money, and now he had as much as he wanted, for Virginia was
indifferent about money, she was generous. They spent magnificently
during his “leaves.” And their lives were open for the world to see, a
straight pair of English people: a gallant pair of the same colour, the
same quality, and the same hazardous blue eyes. Tarlyon’s eyes were of a
slightly frozen blue, a little mocking, very charming. He was an
extraordinarily fair man: weathered brick-dust face generally smiling,
just a little: an easy man to get on with, a very easy man. A remarkably
amusing man, Tarlyon. It was said that he and Virginia were very good
companions for each other.
And pleasant it was to see them together, fair to fair, height to
height, English to English, most perfectly and elegantly paired. A
charming sight for foreigners to see, walking together of a morning from
their house in Belgrave Square: George Tarlyon in the long gray coat of
the Brigade, that extravagant, high-waisted, red-lined gray coat, tall
and straight and with a swing in his walk: and Virginia, his lady,
enwrapped in furs—not, like so many women, smothered in them, for
Virginia was always mistress of what she wore—or better still, on an
autumn morning, in a high-collared black coat lined with green, which
very gallantly became her tall, slim person and imperious head. They
looked what they were, perfectly, people of degree—and how rare that is
nowadays, people said.
Yet Virginia did not lose her glamour, nor did her glamour lose that
queer rot; it was always there, about her, something musty in something
fine. Her father’s friends wondered a little about it. She had always
something in reserve, a vague something, and people took vague licence
with that vague something. That is a way people have. Virginia seemed
not to be quite of the society which she graced so brilliantly; she
seemed to despise it, she passed people swiftly. A queer provocative
indifference there was about her.... Take a drawing-room full of people
at any hour of night, and watch Virginia there, an ornament in the most
brilliant company. Watch now! Watch the pretty lady, the lovely, the
remote, the queerly ungracious Virginia! Suddenly, swiftly, silently,
she leaves the room. She waits for no man. She leaves the house. Just
like that, she leaves it. Maybe this departure offends—Virginia doesn’t
care! And if she cares, she will be forgiven. Now, whither does this
swift and secret passage take her? Sometimes to her house in Belgrave
Square, a mausoleum of a house which Virginia bitterly hates: sometimes
to meet some one in some place: more often to the Mont Agel.
She would enter the Mont Agel at any hour of night by the hotel
entrance, having rung the bell; and she would sit in the deserted and
shuttered restaurant, in the light of a candle stuck in its own grease
on a saucer—it was war-time then, you understand. There she would sit,
with the polite and amiable M. Stutz hovering about, for that urbane
gentleman never went to bed, never. Sometimes M. Stutz would be
encouraged to sit at the table and discuss a glass of Vichy Water with
Lady Tarlyon, for she seldom drank anything but Vichy Water, which just
shows how little mothers know about their daughters. But more often he
would leave her alone, guessing that it was for solitude she had come
hither, this lady of high fashion in all her finery: not hard, nor
brazen, but queerly childish and infinitely remote.
She would write letters, sitting there, and every now and then she would
sip her Vichy Water. Half a glass of Vichy Water would last Virginia a
long time; but cigarettes would fade before her contemplation, a box of
ten cigarettes would fade away. Her doctor would have something to say
about that soon. She never wrote her letters but in pencil, a scrawling
hand. And she would write, maybe, to Mr. Kerrison, in his
semi-demi-quasi-social part of Hampstead, telling him in an ironic way
of what she had done that night, and of the people she had seen; she
would comment on the people she had seen and talked to that evening,
ironically. It wasn’t that she liked Mr. Kerrison, in fact she thought
of him as a very absurd man indeed, but she had somehow got into this
habit of writing letters to him in a particular spirit; and when people
protested about Mr. Kerrison, or any other of her friends, saying that
some of them were really too awful, she would give her slight, hoarse
little laugh, and answer that they were quite inevitable in her life,
quite inevitable; and, having said that, she would laugh a little again,
and the subject of Mr. Kerrison or any one else would be closed for the
time being.... Or she would write letters to a young artist whose work,
person, or “mentality” (oh, useful word!) had made some call on her
sympathy. Her letters from the Mont Agel, addressed in that pencilled
scrawl, would suddenly drop on studios in all parts of London, sometimes
on very poor studios indeed, asking them what they were doing and if
they were working well these days, and if they would care to come to
luncheon with her one day, and naming a day for that luncheon, either at
the Mont Agel, the Café Royal, or Belgrave Square. And sometimes, if it
was a very poor little artist she was writing to, there would be a
cheque tucked away in the letter. But no poor little artist ever
received a cheque twice who was tactless enough to thank her, no matter
how elegantly.
And then, in the early hours of the morning, she would leave the Mont
Agel. Swiftly she would penetrate the black solitudes of Soho in
war-time: a rich and fragile figure braving all the dangers of the city
by night, an almost fearful figure to arise suddenly in an honest man’s
homeward path: so tall and golden and proud of carriage, so marvellously
indifferent to his astonished stare! Sometimes she would have to walk a
long way before she could find a taxi—through Soho to Shaftesbury
Avenue, and up that to Piccadilly Circus. Sometimes men would murmur in
passing, sometimes they would say the coarsest things, and once or twice
a man caught at her arm as she swiftly passed him; and Virginia looked
at him straightly, for a swift second, as though secretly understanding
his desire and mocking it; and then she went on her way as though her
way had been uninterrupted ... homewards to Belgrave Square.
Virginia often capped the most conventional evenings with this swift and
solitary vagabondage of the early hours, homewards from the Mont Agel.
“Virginia has a mind like a cathedral,” said her father, gay Lord Carnal
of the Gardenia.
“Of course every cathedral has its gargoyles,” added my Lord Carnal
wistfully.
Lord Carnal was the ninth baron. It will be remembered by students of
Court history that the first Lord Carnal[D] was so created by the
exceeding love of that charming Stuart king who, however, later again
lost his head about his Grace of Buckingham—the more justly, Puritans
have said, to be deprived of it by Oliver Cromwell. Since when the
Carnals have come to be known for many things, not the least among which
is their quality of sociability and their talent for longevity. “No
Carnal ever dies—but, my God, how well they live!” some one is reported
to have said sometime. And of the baron of the day, whose portrait by
Gainsborough is one of the treasures of Carnal Towers in Hampshire, Lord
George Hell found breath to exclaim: “There’s no fight but a Carnal’s in
it, no bed but a Carnal’s on it, no table but a Carnal’s under it—no
Carnal has ever been seen alone, sir!”
The ninth baron, who never said a careless thing and never condemned a
correct one, looked not at all likely to break the record of the
previous eight’s longevity. There was only one day in the year when Lord
Carnal did not wear a gardenia, and that was on Alexandra Rose Day, when
he wore a carnation.
That and Virginia are the only remarkable things the ninth baron ever
did.
Late in the afternoon of the day following the meeting in the little
lane, as Ivor sat reading over the fire in the sitting-room, Turner
announced: “Lady Tarlyon, sir.” And there was a note akin to surprise in
Turner’s voice.
“’E seemed pleased enough!” Turner said to Mrs. Hope in the kitchen.
“And I should think so indeed!” cried Mrs. Hope indignantly. “After all
this time alone....”
“My movements,” said Virginia, in her slightly hoarse, low voice, “are
cloaked in mystery. I’ve come to see you, Ivor.”
He was delighted to see her....
Virginia swiftly surveyed the comfort of the low-ceilinged room, and
with a sigh of relief threw herself into one of the two deep arm-chairs
on each side of the fire.
“A long and cold and lonely walk it was,” she complained. He gave her a
cigarette.
Her hat, that so black and anarchichal hat, made a loose black stain on
the polished table; and her golden-tawny hair shone bright between the
firelight and the lamp. Lithe and long and slack this Virginia looked,
deliciously at rest in the deep expanse of her chair. And her bright,
yellow silk jumper coloured the room with a sudden luxury and meaning.
Fantasy has come into the room, thought Ivor.
“I’m finding,” he told her, “that this room is not the complete room I
had thought. I have liked the decoration of this room until this
moment——”
“Thank you!” said Virginia.
“—— but now I see that the decoration it really needs, Virginia, is
that yellow silk jumper—how nice it would be if you left it behind with
me, so that I could hang it up on the wall! and every time I saw it I
would think: ‘Virginia came to see me once!’”
Her face was laid sideways against her palm, and her eyes smiled faintly
into the fire; and she held up a very little foot to the fire.
“I walked three miles on a winter day,” she said, “to hear you talk.
That was my great idea for to-day, Ivor. I myself have not been doing
very much talking of late—and, you know, I’m very tired of being with
people whose main purpose in conversation is to massacre syntax and
evade sense.”
“But it’s not quite fair to come to talk to a man who has been alone for
weeks! Maybe you will be washed away in the raw stuff—and there will be
headlines in the papers: Disappearance of famous beauty—thought to have
been washed away in the froth of a hermit’s sudden speech.’ ...”
But she was silent, provoking him. She was yielding up her interest in
him to him, to do as he liked with—on a January afternoon! And in the
nervous stress of that moment he jumped up from his chair and stood by
the fire, and bent to it to light a spill for his cigarette; and he
stared into it, his face sideways to her.
Virginia watched him curiously.
“You told me yesterday that you were working, Ivor. Now I would like to
hear about that—may I? Are you writing a new novel?”
He stood above her on the hearth, she sprawled lazily in the chair
beneath him.
“I’m not writing anything, Virginia—I’m trying to learn how to play a
game. It’s called a ‘game’ anyway—that one which it used to be the
fashion for you and me and all cleverish young people to despise—the
game of trying to understand the country we live in so that we might
help in the working of it. It sounds a pompous business, and so we
despised it.”
“Oh!” And Virginia made a little face, as though a little puzzled and a
little bored. “Do you seriously mean to tell me that you are going to
stand on that hearth and talk politics to me? Oh, Ivor, must you do
that!” She put such pathos into her words that they laughed together.
“Yes, Ivor?” she asked gently.
“But I’m very serious about it, Virginia, so it’s no good your saying,
“Yes, Ivor” at me as though I needed humouring. I’ve got a frightfully
English feeling about me these days,” he explained, “and I can’t bear to
think of the way we’ve all slacked—all we young and youngish people.
Just utterly slacked!”
“But what about losing lives and legs and arms?” she put to him. “How
did you manage to do all that and slack as well?”
“People are getting fat on that remark,” he told her darkly, “and are
going to get still fatter—until one day something pricks them and then
they’ll be all thin and miserable. I beg you not to play the fool with
your lovely slim figure, Virginia. But I’m sure you said that as a way
of sympathising about my arm, which is nice of you, but not an
argument....”
“I’m not arguing,” Virginia said. “I’m being treated like a public
institution. Very queenly I feel....”
He wanted her to understand.
“But you do know, don’t you, that it’s as easy to fight for a country as
for a woman, particularly if they are yours? And that it’s much easier
to fight for a country or a woman than to understand either—or even
want to, for the matter of that! Why, Virginia, they said the war was
going to teach us things, they’ve actually got the cheek to say now that
the war has taught us things, fine things. Well, I’m damned if I see
what the war has taught us except that it’s pretty easy for every sort
of man to die—and now the peace is mobilising to teach us that it’s
jolly difficult for every sort of man to live. That’s a platitude, of
course, but that doesn’t make it less true.” He seemed to be angry about
it.
Virginia nodded. It wasn’t difficult for her to live, if having money is
living, but she understood. This was fairly good sense, anyway, for
politics. Virginia had always thought that politics were only
interesting from a bad-tempered point of view.
“That’s what I meant,” he went on, “when I said all the youngish people
are slacking. They are taking no hand in the work of the country, they
are doing nothing about it and thinking nothing about it. At least our
fathers tried to use what energy and intelligence they had left over
from riding horses and talking about them; they tried to do something as
a matter of course, even if they had to sandwich that something between
a salmon and a grouse, and a pretty fine mess they made of it—but we
don’t even make a mess, we sit and watch other people making a mess for
us.”
The light of argument peeped faintly out of Virginia’s eyes.
“You don’t seem to realise,” she said, “that England expects every young
man not to get in the way of other people doing their duty. So our young
men have simply had to stand aside—or go into the Foreign Office, which
is the same thing—for it’s been so dunned into them that they’re no use
for anything that now they jolly well aren’t. You can’t tell the
public-schools for years and years that they produce nothing but
fatheads and then expect them to turn out geniuses....”
“It’s been made very difficult for us not to slack,” she said.
Ivor made an impatient gesture. He had heard that before.
“It’s got something to do with the will to enjoy,” she went on. “I heard
some one say that....”
“And we did enjoy, too,” she added oddly, “just before the war and
during the war—we and our lovely dead and dying men!”
And that is about the last word Virginia said. For Ivor
talked—tremendously. Talk was seething darkly within him, and it had to
come out—and this woman had asked for it! And so out came the “Ivory”
intolerances and prejudices which Magdalen had used to tease and Rodney
West to encourage, thinking that no man was good for anything if he
wasn’t fierce about something. Here, in this animus of Ivor’s against
the “young men of opportunity,” in that they strove to be so little
worthy of it, spoke the Aunt Moira in him: “Whatever you do, you must do
Something! For Heaven’s sake, Ivor, don’t be slack, don’t be shoddy,
don’t be sodden! You must think Something, do Something!” That Aunt
Moira who, ever mightily contradicting herself, had so efficiently
helped that fine gentleman of promise, her younger brother, to do
nothing at all, nothing but love....
And Ivor made a joke. The occasion, Virginia suggested, called for a
little imagination on his part, so he had better imagine something. So
Ivor imagined a revolution for her—oh, a very imaginary revolution!
There was blood, of course. He told her how one day, with a crash and a
bang and a mighty cry, the people of England rose in one body and hurled
themselves at Whitehall. Of course there was a reason for this, as they
tried to explain to Whitehall. They had come from factories and mills
and mines and all the other places that rebels come from, all with the
one mighty cry, “We’ll larn ’em to be gentlemen!” For this revolution
was one of the people at last utterly sick of government by feeble
gentlemen. A young man from Owens College headed the revolution, but he
died soon after. And at that time the charming but sinister M. Caillaux
was President of France....
“We are the New Gentlemen,” the rebels cried. Men of the lower sort had
everywhere raised their heads, and behold! they had seen England as one
vast knighthood, but what knights were those! Whereupon men made a great
cry that the land of England was being sloppily governed and that
something must be done about it. And of course there was no lack of
agitators to point out, with plausible arguments, that the war had
helped the British Lion to find out the British Ass—which last, the
agitators insisted, was an immaculate man, hitherto known as a
gentleman, with red tabs and gold braid about him, a long tradition
behind him, and a bloody fine mess all round him. “It is up to you,” the
agitators cried, “to put the lid on all that.” Which thing was done, so
that traditions were instantly withered into offal, the mad dream of
Master Jack Cade came true at last, and the hapless middle-class had
more reason than ever to wail, “What shall we do with our sons?” for no
one cared what they did with them so long as they made them work. And
Chivalry, most shy and most beautiful of all the birds that grace the
aviary of human virtues, was found at last with broken wings in the
gutters of Fleet Street, was tenderly nursed back to life and on a
memorable holy-day was released from Hyde Park Corner—a lovely thing to
entrance the eye and stir the heart of Britain, from Cornwall to
Aberdeen and even farther. The king was escorted in exceeding splendid
state to Windsor, the route thither being lined by such a vast concourse
of cheering people as had never before been seen gathered together but
at a football match. And there was instantly begun the building of a
National Opera House, in which Sir Thomas Beecham could conduct for
evermore without breaking his heart or his purse. And there was
organised a massacre of maîtres d’hôtel, who have gone so far in
making English youth obsequious. Many of the old order were tried for
their lives before an extraordinary tribunal especially got together to
try people for their lives on the capital charge of whether they had or
had not been gentlemen: of course there was the usual controversy as to
the exact definition of a gentleman, and many suggestions were put
forward, among which that “a gentleman is one who is never
unintentionally rude to any one,” was accorded the most favour; but in
the end Mr. Bernard Shaw’s definition was unanimously adopted, as being
both brief and practical, that “a gentleman is a man who puts more into
life than he takes out.” Good old Shaw, people cried. Mr. Churchill and
some few others were finally acquitted on their disarming plea, that
they belonged to a different age from this, a feudal age, and were
therefore not responsible for their actions in this; it was further
pleaded on behalf of Mr. Churchill that he had been educated without
heed to cost, in that England had spent more than a hundred million
sterling in giving him a thorough working knowledge of geography alone,
particularly as regards Gallipoli, Antwerp, Mesopotamia, and Russia; and
that England could not afford to waste, but must rather reserve for the
highest office, one to whom she had given the most expensive
public-school education obtainable. But there were many who did not
discover so much ingenuity, and were never heard of again. While there
were some who proved their worth by banding themselves together with
warlike cries, to the effect that though they might not have put more
into life than they had taken out, they had taken out of their banks a
good deal more than they had put in, and so did not mind dying. And
these straightway entrenched themselves within Devonshire House and the
Ritz, the last a very stout and solid building in the manner of the old
Bastille, originally conceived, no doubt, with a fearful eye on
class-prejudice. Devonshire House was stormed through a breach on the
Stratton Street side, and many were killed but none taken, but the siege
of the Ritz was long and bloody, as of course it would be. Both sides
were fertile in invention, and Piccadilly was a shambles from Bond
Street to Clarges Street; but both in bravery and invention the
besieged had something of the advantage, for they were led by the men of
White’s, the most gallant of all those who asserted their right to be
gentlemen when and how they pleased: and were, moreover, greatly
assisted by their exact knowledge of every corner of the building, which
was of course known to the New Gentlemen only from passing buses or from
the Green Park on Sunday afternoons. But one night Wimborne House, which
lies behind the Ritz and was valiantly held by my lord Viscount Wimborne
and his men, all veterans of his Irish vice-royalty, was betrayed by a
Hebrew gentleman lately black-balled from the Royal Automobile Club: the
New Gentlemen poured through the breach, and the defenders of the old
order were slain to the last man—and he a gay and handsome man of
stuttering speech and many parlour-tricks, now at last dying formidably
on the steps of the foyer with a great laugh and a cry, “For King and
Cocktail!” And when again the old order raised its head it was only to
be finally crushed at the rout of Kensington, where the flower of Oxford
and Cambridge, marching to the relief of London, was surprised and
overthrown while awaiting the issue of a dog-fight at the corner of
Church Street....
“At what time will you dine, sir?” Turner asked patiently from the door.
“Lord, it’s half-past eight!” Virginia cried.
“Do you think,” she asked shyly, “that I could share your homely kipper!
‘Now I’m here’ sort of thing, you know....”
“Turner,” cried Ivor to the man at the door, “you heard that? What are
you going to do about it?... You see,” he explained, when Turner had
gone out, “you are my first guest in this house.”
“Well, you are an odd man, I do think!” Virginia suddenly attacked him.
“Do you mean to say that you aren’t in the least curious to know what my
host, friends, and husband will think at my not turning up to dinner?”
“But, Virginia, they wouldn’t be your host, friends, and husband if they
were very surprised at a little thing like that, would they? Of course
we can send a message,” he added. “I’ve got a kind of car somewhere
about the house. It’s an American car——”
“Oh, no! To send a man three miles to say I’m not turning up for a
dinner which they’ll have eaten by then—oh, no! They’ll just think I’m
lost, that’s all.”
“And so I am!” she added, with a sudden smile.
She touched her hair, she jumped up and looked into the mirror, and she
made a face at what she saw.
“If you will show me to your bedroom, Ivor,” she turned to him to say,
“I will somehow or other put the fear of God into ‘Swan and Edgar’....”
It was after eleven when they heard the rustle of a car on the little
gravel drive. The rustle stopped.
Ivor grandly waved a hand towards the curtained windows: “Here come the
messengers of Kare and Tarlyon to demand a very fair lady.”
Virginia, again in the depths of her chair after dinner, looked mildly
surprised; but just a little more than mildly when her husband came in
almost on top of Turner. George Tarlyon stood grinning at Virginia from
the doorway, and at Ivor. And Ivor couldn’t help smiling back at the
“clever fellow” expression on the handsome face.
“Here we are, you see!” Tarlyon cried; and the grin was all over his
face, a gay, mocking grin.
“Well, I’m very pleased,” Ivor met him in the middle of the room. They
were of a height, dark and fair, but Tarlyon was much the stronger set
of the two. His extraordinarily fair hair was crisply curly from his
wide, reddish forehead; he looked clean and scrubbed and
weathered—always as though the salt of the sea had just whipped his
face. And so gay, with that attractive smile that never left the
slightly frozen blue eyes....
Virginia vaguely introduced the two men. And she examined her husband,
rather severely.
“This is very odd, I do think,” she said.
Lord Tarlyon turned very frankly to Ivor, appealing to him:—
“I say, you know, I’m awfully sorry to have rushed in on you like this.
But, don’t you see——”
“Will you have a drink?” asked Ivor.
“Certainly. Used to hear about you, you know, from a man in my mess
called Transome. Thought no end of you, he did. I was sorry he went....”
He turned to Virginia, still appealing: “What I mean to say is, my dear,
that I knew you’d be grateful for a lift home in the car, so I brought
the blessed thing along....” He took the glass from Ivor. “Damned good
husband I am, I do think,” he teased Virginia. Splendid he was, standing
there by the table between the two, simply glowing with the pleasure of
the moment, laughing at them, teasing Virginia with that sideways little
grin under his fair, clipped moustache. He mocked Virginia. He toasted
Virginia....
“Yes, but how did you find out I was here?” Virginia asked. “For I left
no word as to where I would be, and my footprints are too small to be
visible to the human eye....”
“Easy, my dear, dead easy! On your not turning up for dinner, with every
excuse, I must say”—he bowed to Ivor—“Kare put inquiries through the
butler to the servants’ hall to find out whether anything had been heard
of any dark, handsome strangers of superior mentality in the
neighbourhood. On the name Marlay being mentioned we all naturally stood
to attention at once. That’s our man, we cried with one voice. Anyway, I
cried and they echoed. And so here I am! Easy, Virginia, dead easy!”
“But it won’t be so easy to get home,” Virginia remarked, “if you have
another drink....”
George Tarlyon leaned against the edge of the table: enjoying himself
immensely, it seemed. So gay, so slack.... Ivor was immensely amused by
him; anyway, he thought he was. He gave him another drink.
But Virginia looked tired, staring into the bright fire. She seemed
suddenly to have lost all interest in the two men in the room.
“I say, I liked that book of yours,” Tarlyon said comfortably to Ivor.
He stretched his legs out a little, towards the fire. “You know, that
one called—something about a courtesan....”
“The Legend of the Last Courtesan,” Virginia said into the fire.
“That’s it, Virginia! Splendid book, I thought. I don’t have time to
read as a rule, but I finished that—Virginia saying she knew you once,
you know, and that you were clever.... Just the kind of book I’d like to
write myself if I wasn’t a half-wit....”
“Which half?” asked Virginia softly. “So that I’ll know....”
“There you are, Marlay!” Tarlyon cried; and he laughed with his head
thrown back and his eyes wrinkled up. “Virginia thinks I’m a most
consummate ass, but when I do try talking the clever stuff for which
I’ve a natural aptitude she quickly puts the lid on me.... But,
seriously, Marlay, I did like that book of yours. You got the eighteenth
century uncommonly well, I thought. And I think that word ‘courtesan’ is
a considerate word—what I mean is that it was very decent of you to
trouble to write a long word like ‘courtesan’ time over again, when you
could have used a couple of short but septic ones just as well.
Virginia, are you with me in this?... She yawns at me! Marlay, my wife
yawns at me! All women yawn at the men they love—did Oscar Wilde say
that, Marlay, or have I said a marvellous thing?”
“A marvellous thing, I think,” Ivor just managed to say. “Wilde said
something like ‘All men kill the thing they love....’”
“Oh, that’s just a quibble—they come to the same thing. The man loves,
the woman yawns, and then the man kills her! So I have said a marvellous
thing after all! Are you listening, Virginia?”
Virginia looked very tired indeed. She smiled at him sleepily. George
always made her smile in the end.
“I feel myself getting more brilliant every moment,” Tarlyon said
comfortably. “It’s this room, Marlay, that’s having a witty effect on
me, I think. And I also think it’s pretty clever of you to have a quiet
little house like this, where you can receive the lovely ladies who get
bored with our conversation at Rupert Kare’s....”
“But their husbands can come too,” Ivor pointed out, “if they behave
themselves.”
“Oh, I say!” Tarlyon stared, and laughed.
Virginia suddenly jumped up. In desperation, it seemed. And with a
gesture the black anarchical hat crowned her head, her coat was to hand,
and she was ready to go; and she was gone. Tarlyon followed reluctantly.
As he started off the car, she said to Ivor, in the front doorway:
“We’ve had a lovely talk, Ivor—I’ve loved my evening with you. I’ll try
to come again, only we are due off to the South any day——”
“Come on, Virginia!” came Tarlyon’s voice from the glistening shape of
the car—charming young Charles Rolls’s legacy to England.
“Good-night, Ivor,” she said, and went swiftly.
“Good-night, Marlay, good-night,” came the gay waving voice of George
Tarlyon, as the car curved softly round the drive and away to the London
road. Ivor heard his laugh in the distance. An amusing man. Those two,
out there....
Virginia came only once again. Four nights later, a little after ten
o’clock. Ivor, his book laid aside, was pacing the room in the suddenly
restless way which was growing on him, when he heard the soft rustle of
the car on the drive. He stood very still. And then an apparition came
into the room. The apparition came towards him. He smiled at it, but the
apparition was grave of face. Its face looked bleak.
“Oh, Ivor, I’ve come to tell you we are going to the south of France
to-morrow. I just thought I’d tell you.” It said that shyly.
She had come alone, driving the open car. Virginia hated closed cars,
she loved air, bitter, chill air; it made her feel ill, for she was very
delicate, but she loved bitter, chill air. And now her face looked
blanched with it, her blue eyes bitten bright with it; and a strand or
two of golden hair played loose about her forehead, for her head had
been uncovered but for that transparent stuff now on the table. She
smiled vaguely, there was no light in her.
“Oh, Ivor, I’ve come to tell you we are going to the south of France
to-morrow. I just thought I’d tell you....”
It was a queer moment for him, an upside-down kind of moment. He was
still smiling at the amazing fact of seeing her—amazing because he had
so wanted to!—when those words, intruding at the same moment, quite
upset the equilibrium of his pleased gesture. He felt vividly that he
didn’t want her to go away, but not at all. She stood close by him, in
front of the fire. The little white face.... And all he could say was
plaintively, absurdly: “But I hate your going away, Virginia—suddenly,
like this!”
“It’s the only way to go away,” she said softly to the fire.
She had slipped off her fur-coat on to a chair, and now stood revealed
in her evening-dress: a dress too rich for the ordinary occasion, a
Venetian kind of dress, a deplorably beautiful dress of the kind which,
women said dispassionately, only Virginia could “carry off.” What
Madeleine Vionnet had created as a beautiful joke, Virginia made into a
magnificent illusion. Throat and arms and shoulders exceeding white, her
bosom tight in deep red silk of taffeta—but lo! this deep colour ended
shortly, its coloured richness was but to tease your senses and ensnare
your eyes! For suddenly there billowed from it a filmy white skirt,
filmy and intangible, white upon white subtly flecked with golden-dust:
a wide and waving whiteness which swayed as she walked, which swayed as
she stood, gently, as though it lived a delicious life of its own: and
from the deep red bodice there fell baubles on to the wide white skirt
for a short way, short golden baubles of golden rope in arabesques—the
curious fancy of a crafty designer who surely never thought his dress
would be worn so inconsequently, taken three miles on a chilly night to
a lonely house by a tiny English river....
“Suddenly—like this!” he repeated darkly.
“Well?” she asked, opening her eyes very wide at him; and then she gave
a sharp little laugh at his darkling brows—as though, good Heavens, he
were offended!
“And what’s more,” she added, “we won’t be meeting again for some time.
Maybe we will never meet again, Ivor! For I’m sure you won’t take any
steps about it—just like all these years you have known me and never
tried to see me, never once!”
“You are very exclusive, I do think,” she said wistfully.
There she stood, a head below him, white face up at him, eyes wide and
very grave, amazing and somehow unearthly! and the breasts under that
tight red bodice, little full breasts. And suddenly his one arm took
Virginia bodily, and pressed her to him and her face up to him. He
kissed her lips: and her little tight breasts were hot against him. For
a long time, a long time utterly lost to time in the violent softness of
Virginia’s lips, his arm pressing her to him. So thin she was, tall and
thin and breakable. And she shivered a little, her eyes tight closed,
and her face a white mask: startling white between those twin gold
curls, gay “Swan and Edgar!” She swayed a little, and her skirt rustled,
and when his arm loosed her she seemed to fall right down into the wide
chair behind her. Helpless white mask, carnival dead of carnival! She
opened her eyes and stared up at him, the man darkly up there. But a
crypt was not darker than Virginia’s blue eyes....
“I didn’t mean you to do that,” she whispered.
He fumbled.
“I’m sorry ...” he fumbled. It killed all assurance, that look of hers.
He took a cigarette from the box on the table.
“I didn’t mean to, either,” he said coldly. Then why had he done it? He
loathed fumbling. And suddenly he got furious. What was all this
about, anyway?... “You shouldn’t have come here,” he said bitterly.
And somehow, as she lay there like a broken Venetian toy, his eyes fixed
on her mouth. He had never seen it before, Virginia’s mouth, but now his
eyes desperately found it. A queer mouth it was somehow, queer lips for
a lovely woman to have: there was nothing soft, nothing yielding about
them: beautiful but somehow unwomanly lips, so taut, so dry: the lips of
a woman who liked the wind in her face.... He had never seen Virginia’s
mouth before. And now the touch of it was on his own, hot and dry.
Nothing moist about Virginia. He smiled at her helplessly....
“I didn’t come here for you to do that—I didn’t, Ivor!” she cried up
at him, and her eyes glittered with tears—Virginia in tears!
He wanted to laugh and brush it aside. As though Virginia had never been
kissed before—Virginia! “Forget it,” he wanted to say coarsely. She was
too serious.... But, somehow, he was serious, too. He stood above her in
her chair, a long way above her. He murmured something....
“But you do know that, don’t you? I didn’t come here for you to do
that—that particular kiss....” And she leant back her head and closed
her eyes against him. Ivor played nervously with a match for his
cigarette—one arm makes striking safety-matches rather difficult,
sometimes. He swore a little at the match.
“You see,” whispered the lips of the closed eyes, “your kiss means
something. I knew it would ... I knew years and years ago.”
And she jumped up and faced him pitifully. “That’s why I’m making such a
fuss about it, don’t you see—Ivor, you fool! For your kiss means all
the things I haven’t got left, the lovely things! Oh, I’m not just
trying to make a scene, I want you to understand.... I haven’t got one
left, my dear, not one....”
He couldn’t deny that—he didn’t know anything about it. She was too
serious—but, somehow, nothing light would come from him.
Again she closed her eyes, and her eyebrows contracted, as though with
pain; and she gave her head a sudden shake, backwards.... You are a
pet, he thought.
“That’s why I so wanted you not to make love to me—you, Ivor! Deep down
in my heart I didn’t want you to. For we simply can’t be lovers, you and
I. I thought that years ago. I hated you....”
All this ... talk! Why, he wondered, does a woman always pretend to a
deep and mysterious knowledge of anything to do with love? He knew,
quite clearly, that she had expected him to kiss her—but he also knew,
just as clearly, that she was miserably sincere in not having wanted
him to kiss her—once he had done it! She made him feel a vulgar beast.
Her eyes were searching his face....
“Poor Ivor!” she cried softly, “I am irritating you, aren’t I?”
“Thoroughly,” he admitted; he smiled a little, self-consciously; he
hadn’t wanted to admit it.
“But it’s just as well you should know.” She didn’t heed his gesture.
“It’s just as well you should know that it’s easy for men to make love
to me—‘easy, my dear, dead easy’! Why, Ivor, making love to me has
become a recognised institution, it was the only careless game that the
war didn’t make more expensive. I assure you. And not so very careless
with some, either, for I’m still beautiful. D’you notice, Ivor, that I’m
being funny, so that you can laugh? Poor Ivor.... Didn’t you know, dear,
that Virginia at thirty-one is a perfect mess? You ought to have known,
clever Ivor, you ought indeed—you who write so bravely about women, not
to say courtesans!”
She had said just the things to make him angry. But he only lit another
cigarette; he held the safety-match to the fire this time.
And she stamped her foot at him in a sudden fever. “Don’t you see, you
fool, that I’ve never yet met a man in whom I haven’t brought out the
beastliness? Never once—it’s my fault, I bring it out. Somehow....”
He was quite cold now.
“Virginia,” he said, “you’ve got nerves. And I’m not a cad—I don’t
think so, anyway.” It was her scene entirely—he implied that. And he
wanted to show that the whole thing rather bored him—her attitude.
“I know.” She nodded her head. “That’s why all this. For we wouldn’t
suit each other at all, you and I. I’m no use to you, Ivor....”
And the sudden words on his lips were broken by her peculiar laugh.
“For where you are so wrong is,” she went on reasonably, “that you
think I’m like you. But I’m nothing like you at all. I’m just a little
cad....”
“My telling you all this,” she gravely assured him, “is entirely on your
own head. You shouldn’t have kissed me—like that! It wasn’t fair, Ivor.
And very upsetting.... Oh!...”
“You see, Ivor, I misbehave,” she explained. It was her air of being
reasonable that irritated him most. “Yes, I do! I misbehave frightfully.
People will tell you.... And where you are so wrong is that you think
I’ve been natural when with you, whereas I’ve really been on my very
best behaviour with you—all the time. Even now....”
If she had set herself to anger him to silence she could not have
succeeded more completely.
“Good-bye,” she said abruptly.
He held her furs for her. And she went so swiftly that he could only
follow her to the door. The large shape of the car swallowed her up; and
the car twisted softly round the little drive and away to the London
road. Minutes later he heard its Klaxon, just one sharp keen, like the
harsh cry of a sea-bird....
Now two weeks later Ivor received this telegram from Cimiez: “Please
come to stay with us here if possible. Trains packed, and sleeping cars
unobtainable. Will order car to meet you Ritz, Paris, noon Saturday, to
bring you down. Please wire.”
He fingered it, and he thoughtfully stared out of the window. A February
prospect is not the best prospect to stare at thoughtfully. It provokes
comparisons. The world outside his window was bleak and desolate. The
world within his window was bleak and desolate. He wired, and went.
Virginia was certainly right about the trains from Paris to the south
being packed: there was not a sleeping-car to be had for months to come,
and for an ordinary seat one had to fight; so that the capacity of
French railway officials for being rude and being bribed was being
exercised to the utmost. The douaniers were also charming, and people
remarked on the genial smiles with which the passport officials at the
ports greeted them.... The dawn of peace, the new year of 1919! What
wonder that those who could rushed quickly away from the homes they had
so long and vigorously protected, to the bright Mediterranean coast! The
Sketch and the Tatler said that the Riviera had “at one bound”
regained its pre-war glories of rank, fashion, and riches, and published
photographs in proof of same. Carelessness was upon the world again—in
1919—and life glittered as of old, or even brighter. And what
wonder—in 1919! Spectres there still were, but solaces abounded....
The hill of Cimiez, as all the world knows, adorns the background of the
town of Nice; and the hill of Cimiez, as all the world knows, was
adorned by Queen Victoria, who stayed there for a period, or two
periods, upon its very crest. That crest is now distinguished by a
statue of her person and a monument to her name—which is no less than
the Hotel Victoria Regina, a very large and white hotel indeed, from
whose windows the prospect of the Mediterranean seems but a little
thing. A huge white palace it is, reigning on the hill of Cimiez, and
quite dominating the smaller white palaces which are scattered about the
slope of the hill, one here and the other there, on each side of the
winding road that takes adventurous quality down to Nice, the pleasaunce
of the mob. The presence of the great queen has left a deep impress on
Cimiez, for what streets are not named directly after her despise any
but the nomenclature of English majesty: whence come the rue Edward
VII., the Avenue de Prince des Galles, the Place Regina, and recently
the Avenue George V. Of course there are no shops on Cimiez. Those white
patches of elegant shape that you see as your car climbs the winding
road from Nice, are villas; and in the villas are rich Greeks from
Egypt, India, and Smyrna; Jews from Egypt, India, Smyrna, and England;
Englishmen from Lancashire; Americans and Grand Dukes from Paris; and
Lord and Lady Tarlyon. And these last in the whitest and most elegant
villa of all (the property of Mr. James Michaelson of Lancaster Gate) at
the far end of the rue Edward (not Edouard) VII.
This villa was long and low and white, and severe after its manner: for
upon and about it were none of those playful ebullitions of taste, such
as conical towers, domed roofs, embattlements, statues, coloured tiles
and crenellations, such as are dear to architects of villas all the
world over. Lady Tarlyon’s chauffeur, sent long in advance of her to
choose a villa not too utterly offensive, for she considered him a man
of discernment, had been instantly pleased by its air of quiet dignity
qualified by a certain bravado: its air of frankly yet discreetly
compromising between a Georgian mansion and a Texas ranch, with both of
which Lady Tarlyon’s chauffeur was familiar. One of its main
attractions, and perhaps the one mainly indicative of Texan influences,
was a verandah that ran the length of the house on its front and
southern side. Now this was a real verandah, not one of your merely
decorative ones, a verandah about which men could pace and smoke cigars
and women drop fans to break strained silences: a verandah with a wide
prospect over the distant Mediterranean, for that brilliant blue sheet
was cut short some way without the coast by the trees that cover the
flanks of Cimiez and make Nice invisible to those who would rather live
out of it. It was, in fact, a verandah of chairs and gossip and silence,
to seduce each to the indulgence of his own nature, whether it most
pleased him to look upon his companion or over the sea: to dream, maybe,
of nothing but what lies in that wanton sea, for ever so tenacious of
men’s homage and for ever so reckless of their honour.
On an afternoon that February, Lady Tarlyon’s house-party were sitting
in an uneven group on the verandah. From the verandah were imposing
marble steps—the chauffeur had apologised for those steps—to lead
leisured feet down to a considerable lawn; but the gardeners of Mr.
James Michaelson of Lancaster Gate had rather neglected the lawn during
the war, and it looked a little odd, as a lawn. However, no one needed
to look at it twice, for there was always the Mediterranean, which is a
tidy sea during the season.
George Tarlyon (blue serge jacket, white trousers, a Brigade tie, and
brown-and-white shoes) was there, also a brandy-and-ginger-ale. Virginia
was there. Major Cypress was there—Hugo Cypress, the last of the beaux
sabreurs, bless him! Lois was there, and her husband, the companionable
little Earl. And Mrs. Chester was very evidently there, in a chair
beside Tarlyon.
Ann Chester, quiet and soft-moving as was her elegant habit, was always
very evidently everywhere; you couldn’t help but notice her, you
understand, as she came into a room, a restaurant, or a theatre. She was
a woman of thirty-five: which is not very old for a woman nowadays—and
is, as a matter of fact, considered a proper age for a lovely woman, if
only she can stay at it: Mrs. Chester could. She was of a tall and
slightly full figure—only slightly full—and she wore clothes so that
Frenchwomen looked like Englishwomen beside her. Mrs. Chester was
American originally. It was said that she sprang from the F.F.V.,[E] but
it was also said that she had sprung so far that she wouldn’t be able to
get back. Mr. Chester was nonexistent, in that no one had ever met him
or heard of him until the death was reported of an American gentleman,
Mr. Beale Chester, during a week of misunderstandings in Odessa. Ann’s
accent was just faintly American enough to be very attractive—she would
say, “I’m going to Paris, France, to-morrow”—and she was, indubitably,
a lady. She was really very lovely, in quite a classical way, of
feature, complexion, and hair: and always softly smiling, softly. Her
eyes were gray and understanding—the eyes of a dear! which, you know,
she was. The stage had missed a great beauty when Ann Chester had
decided on life as a career: which is such a banal witticism to make
about women that it is sometimes true about a few of them. She attracted
by sheer womanliness of body and mind, and sheer stupidity. And hers was
that mature and exquisitely soignée womanliness which, they say,
drives sensible Jews and newly-created peers to madness and bankruptcy.
If a precious young man were essaying a precious study of her in a
precious magazine, all of which might quite easily happen, he would say,
“Even her soul was manicured,” and he would be utterly wrong—for,
mysterious Mrs. Chester, she could fall in love! It had been remarked
about her, she could fall in love! and not only within the commonplace
limits of a béguin either, which are the only limits that nice women
allow to the passions of women not so nice. She had been known to
sacrifice things, even jewellery. Now a man beloved of Ann Chester
appalled the imagination of other men—of what stuff was he made, what
queer virtue was his? For imagine Ann clinging, clinging, moved at last
out of her softly smiling acquiescence into a fullness of surrender,
beseeching your sincerity in return for hers, that hair of cosmopolitan
gold at last malsoignée with abandon—imagine it!—our Ann clinging in
desire! Oh, it was inconceivable!
The hour of four-thirty is not a lively hour in Southern Europe. Lady
Tarlyon’s guests sat on the terrace lazily, in white becushioned wicker
arm-chairs, talking just enough. Later on they would dress and motor
eastwards, along the higher Route de la Corniche, to Monte Carlo: there
to dine at the Paris and gamble at the inevitable Sporting Club. The
house-party of the villa at the far end of the rue Edward VII. despised
Nice and all its works, but one and a half kilometres below them; they
did not like Nice, it bored them; and so far they had done nothing at
all about Nice except to motor through it.
Lord Tarlyon had a theory about Nice.
“Nice,” said Lord Tarlyon, “is just like Blackpool——”
Lois lodged a complaint.
“He once knew a man who had some picture-postcards of it,” Mrs. Chester
explained. “Yes, George?” and her gray eyes enfolded him, and he grinned
sideways at her. Virginia’s lips were smiling, just a little, at the
sea. George often made her smile.
“Nice,” he said, “is just like Blackpool, except that the air is cleaner
at Blackpool. We are thus led to the unpatriotic conclusion that if
Blackpool were as far from England as Nice is, we would at this very
moment be in Blackpool.”
“I wouldn’t,” Virginia said. She turned in her chair to stare definitely
at her husband. She would sometimes turn that sudden and definite stare
on to a man she knew well, as though recasting a theory about him.
Virginia never uttered her theories about people, so one could never
tell if they were silly or not. He gave her a cigarette.
The flank of the hill of Cimiez, as has been described, did homage to
their prejudice, for the white town of Nice was not visible below them,
there was but the sea and the bending coast towards Cannes. Far on the
right lay the little town of Antibes, a wan little cluster of luxury in
the sunlight: and the hills that hid Grasse waved gently back into the
distance of more serious (and less expensive) France. The sun owned the
day and the sea, and to the sun belonged all that was on the land. The
awning over the terrace was bright in its bravery of red and white
stripes, and through it the sunlight was subtly diffused over their
faces, it was as though the awning extracted the scent from the sun and
sprinkled it over the company below. Good-looking people....
George Tarlyon, at the side of Mrs. Chester, who was lazy in deliciously
silver crêpe de Chine, said nothing which couldn’t be sufficiently
answered by her smile. Lois was vaguely reading the Daily Mail
(continental edition), which fully reported arrival of self and husband
at Lady Tarlyon’s villa in Cimiez, and threw in a photograph of Virginia
out of sheer exuberance. The companionable little Earl was asleep. Hugo
Cypress was talking to Virginia about, of all things, Forestry! And
maybe Virginia was gaining much knowledge about Forestry, and maybe she
was not, for she seemed to listen with every now and then a quick smile
of understanding, but her eyes wandered vaguely about the horizon, and
they looked like eyes that suffered from expectation.
The villas in the rue Edward VII., so luxurious in every other respect,
do not have carriage drives through their gardens to their doors. Cars
stop without the little white wooden gates, and the company must needs
walk to further luxury, which was a nuisance when it rained, but then it
didn’t often rain. A large and dusty car stopped before Lady Tarlyon’s
gate this February afternoon; there was luggage behind it, a chauffeur
driving it, and a dark man in it—all very dusty. The dark man stepped
out, stretched himself, smiled at the driver, and passed through the
white wooden gate. It was a quite considerable walk from the gate to the
villa, up the narrow path that divided the neglected lawn. And as he was
rather cramped from his very long drive, he walked lazily.
He could not see the people on the terrace, under that awning, but they
saw him; they stared at him. He had taken the alternative path from the
gate, not towards the marble steps, but to the left of the villa, where
he could see a door and open French windows.
“Here comes a dark stranger!” cried Mrs. Chester softly.
Lois screwed up her eyes at the figure coming up the path. Lois always
screwed up her eyes like that when looking at a distance, because she
saw more that way.
“But he’s not such a stranger as all that, either!” she cried. How many
years was it since she had seen Ivor Marlay? And Virginia had told no
one he was coming to the villa—typical of Virginia, that!
“Please, someone, who is he?” begged Mrs. Chester. “He’s so very tall
and black....”
“Marlay, novelist,” explained Hugo Cypress. “But comes of quite good
people—on one side. Missed an earldom by an heir’s breath....”
“Clever,” snapped Lois.
“Only by contrast, dear....”
“Well, I never!” sighed Mrs. Chester. “And is that what makes him so
bad-tempered looking? Tell me, George....” Ivor was bareheaded and
looked rather tousled, that’s all.
Tarlyon grinned at Virginia, but addressed Mrs. Chester. He waved his
hand towards the figure.
“We don’t know yet,” he said. “He is one of our leading authorities on
courtesans.”
“In that case,” Lois turned sharply on him, “he’ll talk less about them
than you do, George.”
“Oh, pretty!” said Hugo Cypress. And lashed out with his foot at the
companionable little Earl—Johnny was his name—who thus woke up just in
time to miss the pleasure of his wife’s wit. Lois could be sharp, very.
But Tarlyon never minded her.
“Hallo, they’re off!” he cried now. For the company on the terrace was
decreased by one. Suddenly, swiftly, silently, Virginia had left them.
Down the steps went her feet, and the others stared after her as she
walked across the grass towards her guest: who, seeing her, stepped from
the path towards her. They met. The lady had no parasol, and the sun
made festival of her hair. The sun shone furiously down on them,
revealing the gold of a woman’s hair and the mystery of a man’s smile,
for all smiles are mysterious from a distance; and Virginia had her back
to the terrace, they could see only Ivor Marlay’s smile of greeting. And
Lois thought: “That same rather courtly smile—how it used to annoy
Virginia years ago! Well, well, even Virginia grows up....”
Virginia said to Ivor with a quick smile:—
“I’m so glad you’ve come, Ivor. I didn’t think you would, really.”
He laughed shyly. Occasions made him shy, not people. He quibbled.
“Yours is a nice car,” he said, “but it’s got no ambition on the hills.
We were delayed a little.” That was their greeting.
They walked towards the house. The chauffeur, a suitcase dependent from
each hand, passed them and went ahead. There was a silence; and then
Virginia said suddenly:—
“You mustn’t mind what George says. My husband, I mean. He’s a child and
adores to annoy—and he’s terribly pleased if he succeeds. You won’t let
him succeed, will you, Ivor?”
He had realised now the battery of eyes from the terrace; it was a
curious feeling, after that long and solitary journey from a solitary
place in answer to a telegram; and he suddenly felt very hot and
bothered.
“My dear, I won’t mind what any one says if you will let me have the
loan of your bathrooms for half an hour or so. I’ve got more than two
days’ worth of French dust sticking to me, and feel monstrous.”
“Septic, George would say,” Virginia laughed.
They were almost at one of the open French windows.
“You will find,” she said, “as many bathrooms as you’ll need, scattered
about the first floor. And then tea on the terrace.... It was nice of
you to come, I do think,” she added in a quick breath.
He went indoors swiftly, without looking at her. Shy, she thought. It
pleased her that he was shy, for he had seemed rather inhuman ... long
ago.
She lingered on her way back to her guests. She took a cigarette from
her little case, which to-day was of lapis lazuli. Virginia had many
cigarette-cases, small ones, they had somehow come her way: of gold, of
platinum, of jade, of tortoise-shell, of crystal, of onyx, and little
boxes of worked silver that had once been snuff-boxes, but she nearly
always used this one of lapis lazuli, for she liked lapis lazuli. She
confined herself to five cigarettes a day, but to-day, somehow, she was
smoking more.
“What have you done with the dark young man?” Ann Chester asked her as
she rejoined them.
“He’s preparing himself for you, Ann,” Virginia answered rather shortly.
Lois glanced at her. A servant came out, wheeling a tea-table through
one of the windows.
“You are a divine hostess, Virginia,” said Johnny suddenly. He had not
said anything for a long time. “You are the only hostess I know who ever
gives one tea at tea-time. They generally offer you a wretched little
cup at about a quarter to six, when it tastes like a warm cocktail....
Would you like me to go on about this, Lois, or shall I shut up now?”
When people said that Lois and Johnny were very happy together, other
people exclaimed, “Well, who couldn’t be happy with Johnny?”
At the last moment only George Tarlyon, Mrs. Chester, and Hugo Cypress
motored to Monte Carlo. Major Cypress, authority on Forestry as he was,
was even more of an authority on all varieties of “dicing”—under which
name, in this particular set, went every game of hazard—and could
always be counted on to go towards a Casino. He was the author of an
unwritten play called Limejuice Nights, an unwritten romance called
The Profligacy of a Pork Butcher, and of that splendid marching song
of the Grenadine Guards, which begins:—
“There’s no vice in
A bit of dicin’ ...”
but never ends. “For,” said Major Cypress, “it needs genius to finish a
poem like that, and I’m frightfully afraid I’ve only got talent.” And
then he would give that funny, gurgling little chuckle of his, a deep
“cluck, cluck, cluck.” Hugo Cypress was a very useful man in a battle or
a house-party; sometimes he would get drunk before a battle, “just to
appal the enemy,” and sometimes at a house-party, “just to amuse your
guests,” he would explain to his hostess, who generally adored Hugo, the
last of the beaux sabreurs. He was an uncommonly agreeable companion
for any man or woman—or for a man and woman.
Virginia and her three remaining guests dined very pleasantly; and
Johnny remarked how glad he was that they hadn’t gone to that “beastly
Monte Carlo, where they shoot pigeons all day and pluck them all
night.”
“Give me home,” said Johnny, “a little conversation, and a
nice-glass-of-wine....”
The conversation, however, was not very “little.” For Lois, his wife,
had charge of it, and Lois had a reputation to keep up. Lois’s
conversation—which, people and papers said, was witty—consisted in
asking rather sharp questions about a given subject, listening
impatiently to your replies, and then saying that that wasn’t what she
had meant and asking another question, beginning: “But don’t you think,
now....” To-night she was talking, or rather asking witty questions
about, publishing. Mr. Worth Butterthorn, the publisher, had recently
offered her five thousand pounds for her memoirs, and so Lois was rather
interested in publishing; so had Mr. Worth Butterthorn been, when Lois
had capped his offer by saying that she would be charmed to write her
memoirs for him or any one else for seven thousand pounds; and Mr.
Butterthorn was thinking about that, probably at that very moment. Lois
was clever about money....
They discussed publishing. Ivor was naturally expected to know something
about it, but didn’t. And as for Johnny, he of course never knew
anything about anything, let alone publishing.
“Who pays who?” he asked. “And why?” (The silliest part of Johnny’s
silly questions was that no one could ever answer them.)
“What I want to know is,” Lois dangerously put to the table, “if, say,
30,000 copies of my memoirs are sold at 18s. 6d. per memoir, and if my
royalty is, say, 22 per cent. per cost price per memoir, will I make
more or less than by selling my rights outright to Mr. Butterthorn for
£7000?”
“What about,” Johnny suggested, “a nice little monograph instead, on
Artists I Have Sat To, Off and On?”
Virginia was then delivered of an idea.
“My idea is,” she said briskly, “that Mr. Ivor Pelham Marlay should tell
us a story on a given theme. We will give him the theme, and he will
tell us the story.... Now won’t that be nice for you, Ivor?” she sweetly
asked him.
“Charming,” he said viciously.
“I know!” cried Lois. “The theme must be the most fatuous theme ever put
to a man. It must be a motto, a moral, or an Oscar Wilde epigram—but it
must be fatuous!” She turned to her husband. “Johnny dear, you’ve said
so many fatuous things in your life, can’t you think of one someone else
has said—just for once, dear?”
“Familiarity Breeds Contempt,” said Johnny modestly.
“Well,” snapped Ivor, “without a little familiarity you can’t breed
anything, can you?”
Johnny sighed, and tried again:—
“Every Good Action Brings Its Own Reward.”
“Oh, splendid, Johnny!” cried Virginia.
But Ivor shook his head helplessly.
“But you must, Ivor!” Virginia insisted seriously. “I shall count up to
five, and if by then you can’t tell us a tale to prove that Every Good
Action Brings Its Own Reward, your reputation will be for ever
blasted—not only as an author, Ivor, but as an
officer-and-a-gentleman.”
“Yes, rather,” Johnny agreed.
Virginia counted steadily: “One ... two ... three ... fo——”
“All right!” Ivor stopped her with a grin. He addressed them all: “Now
this is a story about a comb——”
“Oh, you’ve cribbed O. Henry’s!” cried Lois.
“That’s done it,” sighed Ivor. “I won’t play any more. Let Johnny try.”
“Oh!” said Virginia.
“That’s all right,” said Johnny. “I am not an author, I am a man of
ideas. Watch me. Now this is a story about a comb——”
“You’ve cribbed Ivor’s!” cried Virginia.
“No, but he’ll crib mine,” snapped Johnny.
“Whistler said that,” remarked Ivor.
“This story,” snarled Johnny, “is not only about a comb but about a Mr.
Jones and a Mrs. Jones as well. If you guess that they were man and wife
you will not be wrong. And what’s more, Mr. Jones loved his wife very
dearly, even though he hadn’t enough money to do it with from every
angle. For of all the things Mrs. Jones passionately wanted, besides of
course Mr. Jones, was a tortoise-shell comb; which, she thought, would
become her very well, for her hair was of the colour of a landscape at
sunset, streaked with ochre. So at last Mr. Jones secretly managed to
scrape together as much money as he could find lying about in his
employer’s offices, and bought her a very adequate tortoise-shell
comb——”
“You have cribbed O. Henry’s!” cried Lois.
“—— comb. Mrs. Jones adored it and adored him, and every one was
happy. Now I ask you, how were they to know that the shopkeeper had seen
Mr. Jones coming and had sold him a celluloid imitation comb instead of
a tortoise-shell one? And so one evening, as Mrs. Jones was doing her
hair for Mr. Jones’s arrival, celluloid being very inflammable, it
caught fire, and the fire caught her hair, and Mrs. Jones was utterly
burnt up when Mr. Jones arrived for dinner....”
“And a very good story, too,” said Ivor pleasantly. “I liked the sting
at the end....”
“Johnny,” cried Lois. “Explain yourself.”
“Well, my dear,” said little Johnny humbly, “I’m frightfully sorry, but,
don’t you see, Mr. Jones drew the insurance-money for his wife’s
death....”
They had dined late, and it was nearly midnight when Ivor and Virginia
were at last comfortably stretched on two of the wicker arm-chairs on
the verandah: for, of course, it was perfectly clear from the moment of
his arrival that they must in the next few hours be sitting together on
that verandah. The air was chilly with the chill of a Riviera night in
February, and Virginia, lying deep in her chair, had wrapped her
moleskin coat well about her: for in the year 1919 the moleskin coat was
at its ascendant, whence it has since been driven by barbarians, led by
one Mr. Kolinsky....
There was no moon, only stars set brilliantly in the soft black onyx of
the sky: a black night, and very silent on Cimiez; and a black and
silent prospect from the verandah, intensified rather than broken by the
distant reflection below of the lights of Nice on the velvet void which
was a sea by day.
The hill of Cimiez is always of a silent habit at night, for its world
is either in bed or the Casino, and the rattle of the tram-cars up and
down the hill ceases by ten o’clock. Ivor and Virginia seemed to have
borrowed something of the silence of the Cimiez midnight, for they sat
silent for a long time, for what seemed a long time. And the light from
the long windows opening out on the terrace fell brilliantly on them.
Lois’s voice suddenly called to them from the room behind:—
“I’m going to bed, Virginia. Shall I turn these lights out?”
“Yes, if you like. Good-night, dear.”
Now it was quite dark. Ivor could barely make out her face, a yard away
from him: a dim, white thing above the soft darkness of her coat. It had
not the remotest likeness to flesh, that face. It was made of some thin,
white stuff....
Virginia said suddenly, into the night:—
“Let’s talk about beasts, Ivor.”
“Yes, why not?” he agreed out of his surprise.
“But I wonder if you will understand,” she murmured.
His chair creaked as he moved a leg.
“Have you ever had a beast in your life, Ivor?” And the dim, white
thing grew bigger as she turned her face towards him. “A beast in your
life, right in it, Ivor?” she insisted. “Have you? Think, my dear, for
it’s most important....”
“When I was much younger,” he seriously told her, “I had a beast. I’ve
almost got over it now. The beast in my life was Other People. I
resented them....”
She looked, in the darkness, like a figure made of furs and thought.
“I meant,” she said at last, “a personal beast. A beast, you know, with
a face and arms and legs. A face that’s always there, in one’s life....”
“I suppose,” she said, “that you’ve loved sanely ... knowing more or
less what and why you were loving. Or probably you haven’t loved, you’ve
just liked people very much.”
He didn’t answer that. There was no special answer to make, except that
he hadn’t loved or liked often; and then one would have to qualify
that....
“That’s why, maybe, you have never had a beast in your inner life, Ivor.
You are lucky, I do think....”
Her voice was making no appeal; it was just her voice of daylight
undressed by the virtue in the night. But the way of her words was
intensely pathetic, and he intensely felt the pathos of her in that
moment, a dark moment. That pitifulness again! He seemed to understand
things about this Virginia.... And she went on softly:—
“I’d like to draw a beast for you, Ivor, so that you could understand.
But it’s difficult, so entirely a thing of feelings. You know? It’s just
hell in the fourth dimension, and how can one explain that?”
“I know,” he said.
“But one loved the beast, Ivor! Oh, yes, frightfully! That’s why he’s
so real, so awfully there....” He saw the white of her hand as she made
a sudden gesture. “He’s so fine, don’t you see? In a conventional way,
if you like, but still.... The blond beast of devilish philosophies
maybe, Ivor! And he entered one’s life and swept one up, so airily! If
only Ouida had been alive to see his type! He came, you see, as
something quite strange—a man among the weaklings of my life with
Hector Sardon. Oh, I seem to have known so many weaklings! Poor, poor
Hector! Ah, you never saw me all that time, Ivor. It was a terrible
time, terrible—and so rotten! But you probably guess.... And the
beast came during the worst of it, when I couldn’t hold out against it
all any more, not alone.... A lovely man the beast was, Ivor, and not at
all the fool he mockingly pretends to be. Oh, no, not a fool at all! And
so fresh and weathered and solid.... With him I felt the earth under my
feet again, good old English earth in all its immense and lovely
solidity. I thought I felt that, anyway, for it was only an illusion
that he gaily mocked into me....”
“They mock one,” Ivor said, “and then one hates oneself. It’s
beastly....”
“Mockery!” There was a soft and remote meaning in the way it dropped
from Virginia’s lips. “Mockery! that soft and sweet mockery of a man in
first love—oh, Ivor, it’s the finest thing—at first.” Her wicker chair
creaked loudly as she suddenly turned towards him, and his accustomed
eyes could see hers through the darkness, wide eyes fashioned out of the
mystery of the night, eyes sombre with query. “Have you ever felt that
in a woman for you, Ivor?”
“Yes,” he said. And he nodded gravely: “but mine wasn’t only at
first—it meant nice things all the time.”
There was a long silence. And then Virginia said:—
“I’d like to be dramatic in my speech just for once—please may I, Ivor?
Though I’ve already been frightfully dramatic with you once, haven’t I?
It’s most unusual in me, I assure you, Ivor.”
“I live alone,” Ivor said grimly, “so I do it quite a lot.”
“Well,” Virginia confessed sweetly, “I feel that there’s nothing so
terrifyingly masculine and magnetic as the feline male. For that’s what
he is, my beast! The perfect thing of his kind.... So very
representative, Ivor, that he’s exceptional! In the dirt of cities,
round about Shaftesbury Avenue maybe, it must be that kind of man, I
suppose, that makes women do queer things for them, walk the streets and
the like. They have a queer effect on women, my kind of beast. My
particular one has made me put up with some odd things, I can tell you,
Ivor! Standing aside and watching him make love. It was awful, awful, at
first.... And then he sort of magnetises one by his perverse
understanding of oneself, he forces one to treat him as he treats
oneself. He judges people by his own beastliness, you see—and he’s so
often right, Ivor! He’s so often been right about me....”
“And then,” she said, “he has queer, soft moments. He sometimes smiles
at me from across a crowded room, in a most sweet and understanding way.
And he seems to say: ‘Only you and I know what you and I are really
like, and we’ll never tell any one—will we, Virginia’?”
“But I am telling someone now,” she said.
“I’m glad,” Ivor murmured.
And her wicker chair broke out in fantastic chorus as her whole body
seemed to turn to him.
“Are you?” she cried comically.
From behind them the noise of a piano suddenly burst on their silence.
It lashed out into the darkness in a furious medley, then softened down
to classical sobriety—then again a furious medley, then a jingling
step, then to something very softly played.
“That’s little Johnny,” Virginia explained.
They listened. For Johnny had the art of seducing attention while he
played; he played perversely, his touch had a delicate and impish
genius, and he mixed up fugues and fox-trots with almost passionate
cheek; he played like a tired genius, and they listened. He stopped
soon....
“He always does that for five minutes before going to bed,” Virginia
told him, “drunk or sober. So if you pass any house anywhere in the
night and hear that noise, you will know that Johnny is about to go to
bed. He says it’s his swan song, and that he likes to repeat his swan
song every night so that he won’t feel it so much on his last on earth.
Nice Johnny....”
Suddenly she stretched out a hand and touched Ivor’s arm, so
unexpectedly that it startled him. There are women who appear incapable
of touching one, and when they do, no matter how lightly, their touch
seems to have a fabulous meaning. He had not looked at her for a long
time, he had been staring into the darkness, but now she startled him
into staring at her.
“You may be thinking,” she said wistfully, “that it’s rather indecent of
me to speak so plainly to you about George. Please don’t think that,
Ivor, for I’m not used to confiding in people; in fact, I’ve never done
it before, and I shall be so easily frightened off.”
“I wanted to tell you,” she said. “And that’s why I wired to you to come
down here. I’m generally supposed to be a secret kind of person, you
know. ‘She never tells,’ people say. But I wired to you because I felt I
couldn’t bear the burden of things alone for another second. It seems
silly....”
“And I thought,” she said shyly, “that telling you all this might
explain a bit of that terrible last night in England....”
Her shyness disturbed him....
“You needn’t explain that,” he said quickly. “One’s always afraid,
somehow....”
He nervously waited for her to speak; and he was puzzled, faintly
irritated, by her silence, for he wanted her just to tell him that she
didn’t now want him to believe that she was a “perfect little cad.” But,
after a while, she only said, dimly:—
“Now that I’ve told you why I asked you to come, I’d like you to tell me
why you did come, please. It’s a very leading question, isn’t it?”
“Well ...” he said, and he stirred in his chair.
“I was lonely,” he said. “And I thought that maybe you were lonely too.
I just thought it. And, Virginia,” he earnestly leaned towards her a
little, “I’m so glad you’ve told me about your personal beast, indeed I
am! But are you quite, quite sure that it’s such a personal beast as all
that—that it isn’t just your, well, distaste of your present life that
you have somehow personified?”
“Oh, no!” It was a cry.
“Anyway,” he went on, “I thought we might help each other somehow....
One has these brilliant ideas....”
“Was it an impertinence to come in that spirit, I wonder?” he asked
suddenly.
She stared at him; and faint memories stirred in her of those very young
days round about Mont Agel and the Hallidays, when she had been so
impatient of this man’s “rightness,” his bursts of defensive formality.
She stared at him. And realised with a start that he was speaking.
“You’ve asked me a question, Virginia, and now I will ask you one—a
baby question. What is it you most want in the world?”
“But, Ivor, remember that I’m thirty!”
“Well?”
“Then there’s only one answer, and that is in one word—understanding!
Just that—understanding! The second childhood of a woman’s dreams lies
in the word, Ivor....”
The night was so dark and still, yet somehow noisy with their
personalities, that Ivor had a feeling that she and he were children....
“We’re like children playing in the dark, Virginia—I feel, do you know,
that nothing we say this moment matters at all! It simply doesn’t
matter, it just belongs to this childish moment....”
“Then I will ask you your question back,” she took him swiftly up. “What
is it you most want in the world, Ivor? Remember,” she added, “you
have said this is a childish moment, so you can be sincere.”
His chair creaked passionately as he sat up to look closely at her.
“I want,” he said firmly, “the loveliness in people. No less. You’ll say
that’s pretty arrogant, and I suppose it is. But I want it all the
same....”
“I’ve had a bit,” he explained, “so I know it’s good—oh, wonderfully
worth having, Virginia! But one can’t keep it—anyway, I couldn’t keep
my little bit. Wasn’t worthy, I suppose. But if you’ve got to wait
quietly until you are worthy of a thing you might wait till the Last
Trump and still not get it. Better to snatch than get left, I think....
One’s best moments draw that loveliness out of people, and then one
loses it. Little demons of prejudice and resentment make one lose
it—that shining loveliness in people, Virginia! And when that’s in them
they have clean eyes—amazing, isn’t it?—but later on their eyes are
not so clean, and one’s own are mirrored in theirs. People say that’s
‘life.’ Everything that gets dirty is called ‘life,’ Virginia.
Everything that dies is called ‘life.’ ...”
He stared towards the sea, over it. The Mediterranean slept profoundly;
and then it seemed to him that the Mediterranean was not asleep, only
pretending; it was a prowling beast, ever prowling about the shores of
Europe and Africa....
“I’d much rather go to Africa now than to bed,” she said suddenly.
A car stopped outside the gates; they saw its lights, and they heard
voices.
“Good-night, Ivor,” Virginia said—rather severely—and was gone.
Thus it was on the first night.
George Tarlyon entered his wife’s bedroom fairly early the next morning.
There was a door connecting their rooms, but he came in by the ordinary
door; for when they had entered into occupation of the villa the
servants had somehow forgotten to unbolt the door between their master’s
and mistress’s rooms, and no one had thought of doing it since. Lord
Tarlyon was no slacker, and could do with as little sleep as any man;
for no matter at what hour he went to bed, he was generally up and about
by ten: as now, entering his wife’s bedroom, gently, as fresh and clear
of eye as though Casino smoke was balm to his health. Virginia lay very
still, her golden head sideways and deep in the hollow of her pillow,
and he was about to withdraw when she opened her eyes. She looked tired.
“I wasn’t asleep,” she said. And she stared at him as he smiled at her
from the foot of the bed; and through the half-open door she heard the
noisy filling of a bath. She wondered if it was Ivor’s or Hugo’s. Johnny
believed in daylight sleeping.
“Will you draw the blinds, please, George?” she asked him.
He let the sun into the room with a mighty rattle of curtain rings; and
the sunshine kissed Virginia’s hair—especially “Swan and Edgar,” so
unruly in the early hours!—but her eyes would have none of it. She
shaded them with her palm.
“I slept so badly,” she complained softly: but not to him, to the
space about her.
Tarlyon loitered at the foot of the bed, splendid in the light, his
hands in his pockets, frankly admiring her.
“I hope you won’t mind, Virginia, but we brought Julie Gabriel back here
with us last night.”
She looked at him absent-mindedly.
“Oh, dear!” she sighed.
“Couldn’t really help it, in a sort of way,” Tarlyon explained. “She had
quarrelled with her young man, it seemed, and she really looked in
rather a mess, so I asked her down here for a few days—until she gets
over it, you know. Oh, come, Virginia,” he teased her, “have you no
heart?”
Virginia imagined Julie Gabriel “getting over it!” What, on this earth,
had ever “got over” Miss Gabriel?
“I’m sure you’ll quite like her,” Tarlyon assured her. “She’s quite a
nice little thing, really....”
“Yes,” Virginia agreed softly, “at some one else’s table in a
restaurant.” Virginia hated all restaurants—except, of course, the Mont
Agel.
Miss Julie Gabriel had made her name as an actress in the year before
the war, by showing her naked back to the audiences of a London theatre
for ten minutes every night for six months. It was a charming back,
people said. However, she had since retired from the stage, finding, no
doubt, that she could make her fortune more swiftly and with less public
exposure. She had a house in Curzon Street and a palace on the river,
and young Royalty was supposed to have supped with her. People liked
her—she’s common, but so full of life, they said. It was also said that
George Tarlyon was the only man she had ever loved, and it was believed.
“George St. George,” a little voice said from the depths of a pillow to
the ceiling, “you do know some low people, I do think....”
He was at once very considerate; he sat on the edge of the bed; he
appealed to her as a friend.
“Virginia, you don’t really mind, do you? Because, of course, if you do
we can have her thrown away at once....”
Virginia imagined Miss Gabriel being “thrown away” by milord’s orders.
“Oh, no! Now she’s here....”
“Besides,” she said, “haven’t I always said that you could ask any one
you liked?”
And then Virginia had a grim thought about Mrs. Chester. Poor Ann! But
she said:—
“Lois may mind, you know.”
Tarlyon threw back his head and laughed his laugh.
“Oh, our Lois! I’ll fix her all right—besides, it will come in handy
for her Memoirs! She won’t mind.” And he got up from the bed with a
lazy swing.
“Before you go, you might give me the hairbrush and small mirror from
the table,” Virginia asked him.
Virginia and her husband never talked of any subject for more than five
minutes; and never referred to a subject again. That is called “getting
on” with a person.
But Lois did mind. She had a reputation to keep up. But when Lois
minded, she minded secretly. For when George Tarlyon, raiding her
bedroom with little ceremony, told her of the addition to the party, she
instantly cried, “Oh, splendid!” And that very moment decided that the
Riviera was perhaps seen to best advantage from Cannes, to which she and
Johnny would repair that very afternoon. Johnny was informed.
She mentioned their departure to Ivor, without, of course, giving the
reason for it, as they walked about the garden before luncheon. Virginia
had not yet come down. Lois said:—
“Well, Ivor Marlay, I’m glad to have seen you again, if only for a
passing moment. Try not to be a beast, my dear, and come to see me in
London——”
“Why, are you going to-day?” The surprise in his question seemed to her
a little out of proportion to the fact. She glanced at him as they
walked.
“Yes, but not to London direct. Johnny and I are moving to Cannes this
afternoon.”
Ivor stopped in his walk, and looked seriously at her.
“I’m going to ask you such an impertinent question,” he said, “that I
must first light a cigarette. If you will strike a match for me....” His
one arm made striking safety-matches just a bit of business; he traded
on it sometimes.
She struck one, laughing at him.
“You aren’t surely going to ask me not to go, Ivor Marlay! That wouldn’t
come very well from a man who has simply refused to come near me
for—how many years? Seven or eight, I think.”
“That’s exactly what I am going to ask you, Lois,” he said earnestly.
“I’m hoping you will understand. Can’t I really tempt you to stay a few
days longer?” The question was light, but the manner earnest enough. But
that Lois appreciated its earnestness was evident only in her glance,
for she laughed—the laugh with which she turned things away, a gay
laugh, the Lois laugh. (All these people had each their own particular
laugh; thus, it was fun to imitate each other’s.) She understood very
well why the question was “impertinent.” She knew he was asking her what
Virginia, however much she wanted her to stay on, would never ask
her—he was asking her not to leave Virginia stranded. It was certainly
“impertinent.”
As Lois had said she was going, Ivor had had a sudden vision of Virginia
stranded in that galère, Virginia deserted by her friend rather
shamefully. But, with these people, where did friendship begin and where
end?
“No, really. I’m so afraid I can’t,” she said sincerely; and added:
“Johnny would be ever so disappointed at putting it off now!”
“Virginia will be disappointed the other way,” Ivor just pointed out,
bluntly.
They continued their leisurely walk in silence. Then Lois turned her
head to him.
“Virginia, you know, makes everything all right by not noticing things.
And she has no need of friends—I assure you, Ivor Marlay! She works
things out for herself and by herself.”
Does she? Ivor grimly wondered to himself.
“And I don’t think,” Lois added secretly, “that she will be altogether
sorry at our going. Not so sorry as all that, I mean....”
Then they talked of other things, and Lord and Lady Lamorna left for
Cannes immediately after lunch, in Virginia’s car. They were great
car-borrowers, Lois and Johnny.
Virginia and Ivor were not alone that day, but he didn’t gather from her
expression that she was in the least put out by her friend’s sudden
departure. She seemed to enjoy her guests that day, and Ivor not less
and not more than the others. And the day and evening passed in a crowd,
to which the voice and person of Miss Gabriel were certainly vivid
additions. Virginia was charming to her, and gayer than Ivor had ever
seen her, except perhaps during those first moments of their sudden
meeting in the lane by Lady Hall. It was a little difficult to imagine
this easy and social Virginia, inattentive to anything for more than a
minute, as the faint and wistful figure of the dark terrace a few hours
before. Not that she glittered in the Lois way, but she was gaily
promiscuous of her attention, she was a woman without preferences....
Tarlyon and Miss Gabriel disappeared for the latter part of the
afternoon in the other car; and Ivor and Virginia spent the hour or so
between Lois’s and Johnny’s departure and tea in walking with Mrs.
Chester, who was rather silent, and Hugo Cypress, who thank God wasn’t,
about the winding lanes that lead about the crest of Cimiez—what part
of that crest is left uncovered by the mammoth luxury of the Hotel
Regina.
The “dicers” stayed at home that evening—Tarlyon and Cypress had both
won a packet at chemin de fer the night before, which was nice for
them. Mrs. Chester did not dice, saying she had no unusual
parlour-tricks. Dinner was therefore something of a festival. And later
on they somehow fell to dancing to the gramophone in the wide
drawing-room: which was apt for that purpose, for it had been fitted
with a parquet floor by the luxurious forethought of Mr. James
Michaelson of Lancaster Gate. A rather strange thing for Lady Tarlyon
and her guests to do, thus to dance, for nowadays they only danced when
they had to, considering that they had already danced enough to last
them their lifetimes. (They adored Fancy Dress Balls, however—oh, let
there be carnival, lovely carnival!) Tarlyon danced with Julie Gabriel,
Major Cypress with Ann, Ivor with Virginia.
It was the first time Ivor had been alone with her that day; but when he
looked down at her face while they danced it was masked by a smile. He
noticed her mouth again, the taut mouth that looked as though it liked
to be whipped by the wind.
“Well, Ivor?” she smiled at his look. They were dancing a very slow
step—“Oh, very patrician,” cried, in passing, George Tarlyon, whose own
dancing was not remarkable.
Ivor suddenly had a desire to force the smile from her face. He would
have liked to take the smile from her face with a sweep of his hand, and
put it in his breast-pocket, and suddenly give it back to her some other
time. He liked her gravity, it was real, but he suddenly felt that this
smile was unreal; she had worn it all day, with its variations, and he
felt now that she had been unreal all day. Didn’t she know that she
needn’t be unreal with him? She had seemed to know last night....
So he suddenly asked her:—
“Did you mind Lois going away—like that?”
She stared up at him, funnily, with lifted eyebrows. “Is this man mad?”
they seemed to ask, those lifted eyebrows.
“Mind!” she echoed, under them. “Oh, no! Why would I?”
“Baby!” he thought. She added, as though they had been discussing the
subject for hours and she was weary of it:—
“She did quite right, you know. Quite right....”
So she kept her smile. They danced a lot more that night.
Thus it was on the second night.
And on the third night it was more or less thus.
On the fourth night Ivor and Virginia were in Avignon.
On that fourth morning, towards noon, Ivor was taking the air on the
rather unkempt lawn. No one else seemed to be about that morning, no one
had as yet come out of the long, low, white villa; though every now and
then, as he passed near an open bedroom window, he heard voices: Julie
Gabriel’s voice, Tarlyon’s laugh, and once the Cypress “cluck, cluck.”
Ivor was taking a little thought about what exactly he was doing as
Virginia’s guest; and as he had very carefully not thought about it
before, he now tried to put it to himself as bluntly as he could. How
long was he going to stay, and what for, anyway? They didn’t wildly
amuse him, these people, nor he them. Oh, yes, of course, Virginia was
the reason, he admitted that. But he didn’t admit anything else; there
was nothing else to admit. (There never is when one is thinking out a
thing “bluntly.”) Virginia had been distant from him these last two
days. He hadn’t felt in the least hurt about that—he didn’t expect
anything. But he could not be rid of an idea that she was just letting
things drift, in a rather helpless but defiant way: but perhaps she was
always letting things drift in a rather helpless but defiant way: just
letting things drift until something happened. Did she expect something
to happen from him?... And he suddenly realised that he wasn’t in the
least treating her as he might some one else. But he wasn’t treating her
in any way at all! He was behaving like a polite old man....
Ivor loathed “fumbling about”—“messing about”; trying, he thought
impatiently, to get at uncertain things uncertainly. There was an
uncleanness in “fumbling about.” ... He wondered what, in particular,
it was that Virginia liked in a man. One generally knew that with women.
They generally told one. It was generally about the first thing a woman
let one know about her, the kind of man she liked; and it was always
interesting to know the kind of man a woman liked. But one couldn’t tell
with Virginia: her men contradicted each other.... And then the figure
of George Tarlyon came into his mind. He had barely spoken a direct word
to Tarlyon since his coming—it hadn’t, he fancied, been expected of
him. Tarlyon didn’t like him, it seemed. “There’s only one thing George
hates in this world,” Virginia had said, “and that is to be disliked. It
doesn’t happen often. But he feels you don’t like him, Ivor.” Well, that
was a pity, because he had wanted to like him. He couldn’t help it. They
always thought the worst, that kind of man; they thought it rather
clever of them to think the worst, and other people thought it rather
clever of them, too. He would never, about anything in the world, have
any explanations to offer George Tarlyon, Ivor thought; he could go on
thinking the worst until he burst. Good God, he had probably thought the
worst that night he came to fetch Virginia at Nasyngton!
And then he thought of Virginia being attracted by Tarlyon, and loving
him, adoring him perhaps, and being held by him even when she had found
him out—odd, that, however attractive the man was! The things women
create in men, for their own hurt generally! Even Virginia, an
intelligent woman! Take a——
“Ivor!”
He spun round, tremendously interrupted. Virginia was ten yards away,
walking towards him with her swift, easy stride. It occurred to him that
this was the first morning he had seen her before luncheon.... Had he
wanted gravity on Virginia’s face? Here was enough now, it was more
evident about her than the golden sheen of the hair that framed it!
Grave indeed Virginia looked, as she came to him. Her calling of his
name from a distance was her only greeting, there was no smile to bear
it company. Virginia looked her age this morning, for the first time.
She came right to him.
“I am going away to-day,” she said quickly, “to Paris, I think. Are you
coming with me, or will you stay here?”
“Of course I won’t stay,” he replied abruptly. “About time I went,
anyway.”
And then she stamped her foot! Her eyes were dark, and she trembled a
little.
“My God, have I always got to be asking you questions!” she cried.
“First I had to ask you to come here, and now I’ve had to ask you to
come away—don’t your lips form questions or what is it, Ivor Marlay?”
“At what time do you intend to go?” he asked her.
She turned her face away from him. The bright sun, on that open lawn
with the windows of the villas glittering full at them, was cruel to her
young face at this moment; it probed its pallor and revealed its
weariness. Her lips were trembling. She said, away from him, very
quietly:—
“Before luncheon, in less than an hour, if possible. By car.”
She turned her face to him again, controlled now.
“When I woke up this morning I decided I couldn’t bear all this another
minute. But are you sure you would like to come?” She asked it as though
they were going to a tiresome function which would weary them both.
“Yes, very much,” he said gravely. He wondered what on earth she had
expected him to say—be enthusiastic? She wasn’t enthusiastic....
“I’d better go and tell some one to pack my things,” he said, but made
no movement.
“I’ve told them,” she said in her suddenly absent way. Where on earth
did Virginia get to when her eyes looked like that? Those sentinels....
He felt flat.
And then she gave a little laugh, and with it something of her manner
returned.
“On the other hand,” she said, “I’d better go and supervise my own
packing. It’s a bit complicated, this hot to-day and cold to-morrow....”
And then she left him, walking quickly towards the villa; but she
wheeled round from a short distance—and he was suddenly amazed by her
smile, a gay smile it was, and it made her face look all golden. She
called to him softly:—
“You’ll be ready then, in less than an hour?”
“I’m ready now,” he cried back to that glorious smile. And standing
there, he watched her all the way to the house, the tall, the fearless,
the mysterious Virginia....
It was the lesser and more comfortable drawing-room; in which, before
lunch or dinner, was always a cocktail for any one who cared to mix one,
or sherry and the like for those with more “old world” tastes. George
Tarlyon was being “old world” this morning, sprawling in a large
arm-chair with a glass of sherry to hand. George Tarlyon’s
white-flannelled legs were stuck straight out, and his blue, slightly
frozen blue eyes were mocking the brown tips of his white shoes with an
almost serious expression; and George Tarlyon’s crisp fair hair shone
with the water of his bath. Handsome, careless, reckless George
Tarlyon.... A Viking, thought Ivor, as he came in at the window. And
George Tarlyon awoke lazily from his contemplation.
“Hallo!” he said quite genially. “Have you been thinking out another
book on courtesans, pacing up and down like that? God, I wish I could
think!...”
“Ah!” said Ivor absently, and took a cigarette from a box on the table.
Tarlyon at once struck a match and held it out to him from his chair.
“Must make striking these awful French matches awkward sometimes,”
Tarlyon referred sympathetically to his arm.
“Not so awkward,” Ivor said, “as it makes a good many other things. As
you can imagine——”
“I’ve no imagination,” Tarlyon complained frankly. “Have a glass-of-wine
instead?” (One referred even to a tankard of ale as “a-glass-of-wine.”)
“Well—perhaps a little later,” Ivor said, leaning against the edge of
the table. “I’m not the man I was at daylight drinking.”
Tarlyon suddenly grinned.
“I don’t know what you mean by a little later,” he said, “for I hear you
are leaving us before lunch.” And he grinned, just a little, directly up
at Ivor. Trying to confuse one, Ivor thought. Well, he wasn’t going to
be confused....
“Yes, that’s it,” he told him. “Lunch at Antibes, I suppose.”
Tarlyon lazily stretched out his hand and took another cigarette: he lit
it.
“And you’ll dine, I suppose, at Avignon,” he suggested. “Romantic old
place, Avignon....” And then he added, first to the brown tips of his
shoes, then directly at him: “By the way, Marlay, there aren’t any other
women you’d like to take away with you from my house, are there?”
Silence....
“That,” said Ivor at last, “was a damn silly insult.”
“I wasn’t trying to be clever, you know,” Tarlyon pointed out. “We can’t
all try....”
“Well,” said Ivor, “if that insult was a sample of your wit, you’d have
to try pretty hard.”
“Ah,” said Tarlyon.
“What I mean is,” said Tarlyon, “that you can’t expect to be patted on
the back when you are trying to play the fool with a man’s wife....”
Silence....
“That, of course,” said Ivor thoughtfully, “is a sound point of view. In
fact it is the only point of view. But it seems to come strangely from
you, Lord Tarlyon.”
“My life is my own business, Marlay.”
“Of course.”
Silence....
“Then why the hell,” asked Lord Tarlyon, “are you mixing yourself up in
it?”
The slightly frozen blue eyes were looking very steadily, very
mockingly, at Ivor. And Ivor suddenly blazed away at them: “I haven’t
given a thought to your life, Tarlyon. And I am so little thinking of
playing the fool with your wife, as you call it, that you are the last
person in the world with whom I would discuss your wife!”
Tarlyon leapt up as though a bullet had ripped his skin——
And then——
“Hallo, Virginia! Ready already!”
And Ivor, whose back was to the door as he half-sat against the edge of
the table, screwed his head round....
“I’ve been ready for some time,” Virginia strangely told her husband,
not coming into the room. Ivor turned his head away.
“It would be nice of you,” she added, in that way she had of saying
things as though she wasn’t there, “to give the man a hand with the
luggage across the garden to the car. I seem to have rather a lot of
luggage. Would you, please?”
“I can do it,” Ivor said quickly: but a hand fell lightly on his maimed
shoulder.
“Don’t you worry, Marlay. I’m the backbone of Pimlico, I am.” And
Tarlyon lounged by Ivor without a glance, an immensely unperturbed man.
Virginia stood aside and let him pass through the doorway, and, without
glancing after him, came swiftly across the room to Ivor, whose back was
still to her. In his slack position against the table her eyes were
level with his.
“You shouldn’t have asked him to do that,” he said furiously.
“I heard,” she told him.
“Well, you shouldn’t have heard,” Ivor said sharply.
She stared thoughtfully at the white face and the furious black eyes....
“Ivor, don’t be too angry,” she pleaded gently. “It’s so unimportant,
that kind of thing!”
She was getting on his nerves, and it was a tremendous effort not to
tell her so. She shouldn’t have heard, she shouldn’t have come in.
Tarlyon and he might have got the thing more or less right, a bit
cleaner anyway. He felt foul, foul. Like a thing from a pest-house. God,
how queerly Virginia chose her men!
“Do you know,” she was saying, “I could have reminded him from the
doorway—I was just outside, by the stairs—that it wasn’t his house,
and that he was my guest, just like you. But I thought that would be
common—wouldn’t it have been, Ivor?”
“Very,” he agreed shortly.
“So I thought I’d punish him by sending him to help with the luggage
instead. I had to end it somehow, don’t you see? That was also common, I
know, but less common—wasn’t it, Ivor?”
She simply made him smile, she was like a schoolgirl. And as he
unwillingly smiled, she began to laugh, right into his sombre eyes, a
long and low laugh of pleasure. He protested with nerves:—
“Look here, Virginia, if you can’t leave a man in peace to be angry with
another man, what will you let him do?”
But she laughed, standing there almost against him, her face close to
his: she laughed right into his sombre eyes....
“Oh, Ivor, you are a funny man, I do think!” she cried softly. “Though
that isn’t why I’m laughing—in fact, I don’t know why! But maybe I’m
laughing because I feel there simply must be something to laugh at in
all this—and your very angry face, Ivor! There’s always something to
laugh at in everything, dear, and if one can’t quite put a finger on
what that something is, one must just pretend. So I’m pretending—and
frightfully well, I do think! Don’t you? Answer me, Ivor?...”
And she laughed at him.
“And also answer me this,” she whispered. “When George was beastly to
you and about me, and you were beastly to him back, weren’t you awfully
glad that you hadn’t made love to me down here? Now weren’t you?... Oh,
Ivor, what fun it must be to be a gentleman whose lawlessness is all
according to rule, precept, and precedence!”
And she laughed at him.
“You are making a butt of me, Virginia,” he complained edgily.
“Indeed I’m not, dear!” She was contrite. “It was George who tried to do
that, and whether he thinks it did or didn’t come off we won’t now have
time to find out....”
“You see, Ivor,” she explained, “George made a small mistake. He has
always laughed at my men—and so have I, for the matter of that!—and he
thought he would have a go at laughing at you. He’s generally found it
very effective. But when he found it didn’t come off with you he got
angry and gave himself away.... It’s really entirely your fault, Ivor,
for not being a laughing matter. You are a damn bad-tempered man, that’s
what’s the matter with you, dear. Whereas all men should on certain
occasions be laughing matters, or else other men will hate them.”
“So he hates me then, does he?” Ivor rather naïvely asked. “Is that, do
you think, because of you or because he just happens to hate me,
anyway?”
“Maybe he thinks you’re dangerous,” Virginia told him seriously. “Or
maybe it’s because he’s not sure of the kind of man you are. George
hates not being sure of people. He also hates not being sure of the
income my trustees allow him as my relation-by-marriage—and a charming
income it is, too, I do think! Anyway it won the First Prize at the
Islington Income Show....”
You could never tell with Virginia in this mood: one moment she was
quite serious, and the next she would say silly things like that.
“And has he any idea,” Ivor began sharply, but he never finished that
question for she did the most surprising thing in the world: she drew a
cross on his forehead with her finger: and she was not smiling.
“I think he has an idea,” she whispered, “that I may be going away for
good....”
“And I have an idea,” she whispered, “that I probably am.”
They went. And as they went no one was visible—except dear Hugo in his
shirt-sleeves at his bedroom window; and he cheerfully waved to them and
they threw farewell gestures to him, for Hugo was really very, very
nice—and always so very aloof from everything! His friends might
quarrel with each other, but they could never quarrel with Hugo Cypress,
the last of the beaux sabreurs.
The large touring-car, with chauffeur and maid (known as “the Smith,”
because her name was Mdlle. Louise Madeleine Dupont) in front, and Ivor
and Virginia behind, swiftly approached Antibes, on the road to Cannes.
And it passed Antibes.
“I’m damned if we’ll lunch at Antibes!” Ivor suddenly said: but gave no
reason to Virginia’s, “Is this man mad?” eyebrow-look.
They did dine, however, seven hours later, within the blond ramparts of
Avignon. “Romantic old place, Avignon!”
No car, not even such a one as Lady Tarlyon’s, can reach Paris from the
south within a day, or even within two days without particular
preparation; and besides, it is a chilly kind of nuisance to motor at
night over some of the worst roads known to man—especially when one can
stay so very comfortably at that ancient hostelry of modern comforts,
the Hôtel des Cardinaux, just within the blond ramparts of Avignon, as
you enter Avignon through the village of Villeneuve-les-Avignon and
across the broad sweep of the Rhone. The Hôtel des Cardinaux, four
square and stout sides enclosing what the hasty traveller may remember
as a labyrinth of courtyards—in which loiter the queenly ilex-trees and
upon which seems to open every window in the place, a multitude of
small-paned windows—is also blond, a seared and dirty blond reminiscent
of a century when fine ladies did not mind a little dirt so only their
lovers were laced and perfumed. In fact, the only thing in Avignon that
seems not to be of that dirty and delightful blond is the crucifix on
the hill which rises above the centre of that ancient town—that gray
symbol of a great idea, which even the vast and glowing Castle of the
Popes cannot mortify. Stare one way—if you can find any altitude from
which to stare, for this is a stuffy and enclosed town, a town of
crooked side-streets and cramped movements, a town of bustling
commerçants—stare one way, and you will see this crucifix upon its
hill; stare another, over the crenellated ramparts that now look so
amazingly useless, and you will see the broad sweep of the Rhone over
which you blissfully hurried into Avignon; and when you have looked at
the Rhone for a few minutes, you will say that it looks a hard and
heartless river, a river of steel. The land of Provence is green and
light in spring, but the Rhone beside Avignon is always of steel, and
the reflection of the sun upon its smooth waters is but an illusion to
placate the romantic stranger. And over it the mistral hurls itself at
you as you stand, say, at your open bedroom window at the Hôtel des
Cardinaux, so that you cry, “My God, I thought it was warm in Provence!”
and you close the window very quickly, and you draw up a chair to the
ugly fireplace in which a fire is struggling smokily with the mistral in
the chimney. And you say gloomily to yourself that Avignon is not a
place in which to be happy in this century: in some past century, maybe
Mr. George Moore’s century, but not in this. For, though you are in the
land of lovers and troubadours, your thoughts are not of romance:
certainly not until you have dined.
Ivor and Virginia dined in a private sitting-room upstairs. Obsequiously
was the door opened for them upon a dark and cumbersome room with high
walls of faded red damask: and so long deprived of youth and light that,
as the light crept in with Ivor and Virginia, the mirrors stirred
sleepily with reflections of ancient candelabras and musty golden
patches of Empire luxury on the background of red damask. They dined
almost in silence: very companionably, but almost in silence.
The day seemed to have tired Virginia, as well it might; and, excusing
her silences, she complained, ever so little, of a pain. It baffled
Virginia to describe this pain but as a sick little pain, something
between a tummy-ache and an ear-ache, and very disturbing in its
frequent comings and goings. And she mocked her pain, saying it was a
busy little pain—and very mysterious too, or else French and English
doctors had been very unintelligent about it. And to deal with it
Virginia always carried about with her some clear, white-looking stuff
in a little bottle—“it’s got opium and mint in it,” she said—and she
would take a drop or two of this in a thimbleful of water, and it would
presently soothe away the sick little pain inside her. And sometimes she
would make her friends try a little of the stuff in which there was
opium and mint, just to see what it was like, and they generally said it
was pretty foul. That is what Ivor sympathetically said to-night, as
they sat after dinner in two frightfully uncomfortable arm-chairs in
front of the smoky fire. There they sat and talked of nothing in
particular, nothing personal. And, quite soon, Virginia said she was
tired and wouldn’t mind going to bed; and Ivor said he was also tired,
and yawned a splendid yawn to prove it.
They had to walk across the corridor from the sitting-room to their
bedrooms, two doors side by side. Virginia let herself into her room;
and swiftly she stretched out her hand and took his, and smiled very
sweetly at him.
“Good-night, dear,” she said.
Once in his room Ivor found he was indeed tired. And when he was tired
his mutilated shoulder hurt him: it often hurt him devilishly, but he
was almost getting used to it. It tired one a good deal more, he
thought, to be driven in a car a long distance than to drive one. He
would ask Virginia to let him drive to-morrow, he had driven quite a lot
with his one arm, and after all there was young David Harley, who drove
splendidly with only one arm and a wooden leg. Then he stopped and
stared at something, quite intently; and as he stared at it he was very
still, scarcely breathing. Of course, he had seen it before, while he
was dressing for dinner, but he had only seen it out of the corner of
his eyes; he hadn’t touched it, he hadn’t the faintest idea if it was
bolted or not.... Then, suddenly, he felt very weary in mind and body;
quickly undressed, and went to bed. It was a wide, low, and very
comfortable bed, with no antique nonsense about it. His shoulder hurt
like hell.
Ivor slept, and had a dream. He dreamed of golden hair falling about his
face and body, creepers of golden hair entwining him. And then a strange
turn happened, strange even in a dream about golden hair, for he was
made to see his mind as a column of marble. And a very tall and shapely
column it looked, too! standing on nothing, directed nowhither, just an
Attic column looking very beautiful with the rare beauty of an
indestructible thing. That column was his mind, in the dream. And he
looked at it for a long time, he was made to examine it very carefully.
“Look, look!” someone seemed to keep on crying in his ear, rather
impatiently, Ivor thought. And then at last he saw what he was intended
to see—there it was, oh so high up on the column! There it was, a naked
creature, a woman, a slight and naked thing, and so dazzling white! She
held on there in a marvellous abandon of fulfilment, white arms and legs
deliciously entwining the column, golden hair wanton about her
shoulders, and lips destroying the marble column with kisses. Ivor
stared at it for a long time, a very long time, and as he stared the
column seemed to come nearer and nearer to him, until he could hear what
the golden woman was whispering as her lips destroyed the column. But
although he could distinctly hear what she was whispering, his mind
couldn’t form what he heard into words, simply couldn’t; and he
miserably racked his brain about it, thinking that it was very important
indeed for him to form her whisperings into words. And when at last he
opened his eyes to the dark room he could still hear the whispering, but
now he could form what the whispering voice was saying; it was saying:
“Oh, Ivor! dear Ivor....” And she wasn’t kissing a silly marble column
at all, that golden woman, she was kissing his lips, and her hair was
falling about his face, tickling just a little. Oh, she wasn’t real, of
course! she was only a legend, a legend of a night in Avignon! And,
stretching out his hand, he touched her body lying across the bed, and
her body under the very thin nightdress was icy cold to his hand.
“You’ll catch a most awful cold,” he murmured to the amazing lips.
“You are so vain, so vain, ...” she whispered.
Naturally, they did not now hurry to Paris: or hurry anywhither, for the
matter of that. They had no plans, there was no hurry, the weather was
perfect; and the world was far too busy enjoying the lack of
killing—the spring of 1919!—to notice or care what two people were
doing. Ivor and Virginia had too much to talk about to discuss such
banalities as destinations. “We are going towards Paris? Very well then,
let’s go towards Paris.” Thus they motored gently towards Paris, staying
at places. Nach Paris is the vaguest and most uncertain destiny in
history, as all men know; and the route these two adventurers took would
have broken the heart of a motoring-map, if they had consulted one. They
somehow got to Chartres, among other places. Chartres has about as much
relation to Paris from Avignon as Canterbury, and they got to it only by
the divine accident of seeing, one evening, the two towers of its
magnificent cathedral from the far distance. Ivor and Virginia never
forgot the catch in their hearts at the sudden beauty of the great
cathedral high against the evening sky. “Oh, it’s somehow like a great
horse!” Virginia whispered in the silence of their wonder at that great
shape high against the sky: for the cathedral of Chartres is built upon
an eminence in the town, and from anywhere on the straight roads that
lead out of Chartres to the four corners of the world you will see its
lofty genius against the sky.... From Chartres to Paris is but a three
hours’ drive at most, but it took them a week: part of which time they
spent at a hotel in the forest of Fontainbleau. A lovely and
indescribable fortnight, this from Avignon to Paris....
Virginia always stayed at the Ritz in Paris: it was just a habit: but
the habit was confined to the rue Cambon side of it, saying it was
quieter there. Ivor, who also stayed on the rue Cambon side, pointed out
that as a matter of fact it was much noisier than the Place Vendôme
side, but that as all hotels were beastly, it didn’t very much matter.
There are certain gentlemen of mean and truculent appearance, who, in
the early hours of every morning, enter the central streets of Paris,
and bang large tin cans against the walls on the thin pretence of
clearing out the dustbins.
Virginia had found a letter awaiting her at the bureau: and she had
looked at the envelope with that vague, far-away look. But when Ivor,
dressed for dinner, came into her room to see if she was ready, which of
course she was not, she gave him the letter with a mischievous laugh:
saying that it was a masterpiece of Tarlyonry, and an instructive essay
for any man on the perfect way to treat a vanished wife and a possibly
vanishing income. “Which, though, he wouldn’t think very much about,”
she conceded, “for no Tarlyon was ever quite penniless.”
“Am I, or am I not, going to like this letter?” Ivor asked her frankly.
“Because if not, I would much rather read it after dinner, if I’ve got
to read it at all....”
Virginia was before her mirror, subduing “Swan and Edgar”; and she
turned to him in her chair, with her face sideways, holding that small
iron toy to Swan. She made a little face at him.
“It’s just an ordinary kind of letter,” she said.
It was addressed from Monte Carlo, and dated five days back. Ivor sat on
the edge of the bed and read:—
“Dear Virginia,—I hope you won’t mind the liberty I’ve taken with
the villa. I’ve closed it up and scattered the menials, as I
gathered that you won’t be returning to this part of the country
for some time, and being solitary host of a villa like a
wedding-cake isn’t my strongest suit. Hugo and I moved on here, and
haven’t enjoyed it as much as if you’d been here too. The ‘dicing’
hasn’t been going so well as it was—poor old Hugo came a crash the
other night, and has gone clucking back for to be a toy soldier at
Aldershot, saying that ‘dicing’ isn’t what it was in the early
seventies and that he’s going to fight the Bolsheviks instead, for
the only person who took his money with even a pretence of sympathy
was a Grand Duke, who probably needed it himself. I’m leaving for
London to-morrow, but as I’m only passing through Paris, where I
suppose you are—you might have written to me, I do think!—I
shan’t have time to look in on you. I shall stay at Belgrave
Square, and look at London for a period, and then go down to Rupert
Kare’s. In the meanwhile, should you suddenly feel the call of
England in your blood and want to come home, be a dear and send me
a wire to White’s, so that I can meet you with a couple of plovers’
eggs on a plate, it being the season for plovers’ eggs and you
adoring same. Virginia, don’t tell me that you and I aren’t going
to break an egg together at the Mont Agel this year! Remember that
you would never have married me if I hadn’t drugged you with
plovers’ eggs—and will so drug you again, Virginia, or my name
isn’t George St. George, ever your lord but never my own master.”
Ivor folded up the letter, rather slowly and clumsily, with his one
hand. Virginia was ready, radiant with the peculiar glitter of a very
fair woman in a sleeveless black dress, and looking at him with that
mischievous smile of hers. It put him rather on his guard, that smile.
“Odd man!” Ivor said thoughtfully. “Might have been written by a Dago,
parts of that letter—and yet he’s the most gallant man in England.”
“Don’t you see that that is the way of his pride?” she pointed out. “He
has a great deal of pride, and common sense too, but they’ve both
somehow got motheaten in him. And so he writes in that casual and
bantering way, as though nothing in particular had happened——”
“Well, it has,” Ivor said sharply.
“Now don’t be snappy, Ivor,” she begged him mischievously. “You and I
know something most particular has happened, and so does George
really, but he wouldn’t give that away, even to himself, not he! He
thinks and writes about it in that unimportant way just so as to make it
seem unimportant, something not at all serious. You see, he’s always
been quite sure of his hold on me, and he can’t get out of that
conceited habit all at once. Some Englishmen never think their wives can
be unfaithful to them, not because they think so well of their wives but
because they think so well of themselves. And so George simply can’t
help thinking that I am only playing—we must give him a little time to
realise that I’m not playing, Ivor,” she added gently.
“For him to realise that, or for you to realise that?” he asked, and put
the light out of her eyes.
“You’ve got no right to say that!” Virginia cried.
He had meant to hurt, on a sudden impulse to lance a grievance that had
risen within him; and now was shamed by her sincere anger, and would
have pleaded his reason and begged her forgiveness, but she turned her
head from him, and her face was set. And he told her unlistening face
how he had noticed during the last two weeks, and divine weeks they had
been, that she had avoided the subject of what they were going to do,
the definite thing which was essential to people who weren’t babies.
“Every time I wanted to talk about it,” he told her, “you somehow
stopgapped me, and sometimes so cleverly that I forgot what I wanted to
say in admiring you—but all the time I couldn’t help wondering why you
avoided the subject, and feeling you must have some reason for that, a
reason so weak that you didn’t dare let it out, for fear I might just
laugh at you.” He smiled a little. “It’s been an uncomfortable feeling,”
he explained. “Like a cold hot-water bottle.”
But there was no response in her set face. She had sat down with her
back to him, on the chair by the toilet-table, and was playing with the
lid of a little ivory box. Never before had she looked like this; for
the face he saw in the mirror was set in an inexplicable anger, a deep
and almost venomous anger which amazed him; and he had a curious feeling
that this Virginia’s spine was made of steel, it would bend and bend and
bend until one day it snapped up straight and stayed straight, rigid and
unyielding. He felt, as it were psychically that there were wastes in
this Virginia unexplored by man, wastes where she roamed in utter
disregard of human laws, wastes where she could wander untrammelled by
human emotions. Give her an inch of excuse, and she would become a
snake, to swish away with implacable and unfathomable face. American
women were said to get like that when angered, hard. He knew, quite
dearly, that she wasn’t now angry at what he had said, but that her
whole nature had been given a twist to anger at some hidden aspect of
him.
“Well?” he asked softly, from behind her. She had humoured him often,
after all....
She turned her head and looked directly at him.
“I’ve got nothing to say,” she said steadily. “You say that I haven’t
wanted to discuss what we are going to do. Having discovered that I
don’t want to, I’m merely wondering why you are insisting on it—that’s
all.”
He laughed a little at that.
“Don’t try to bully me, Virginia, and I’ll not try to bully you,” he
warned her. “You see, dear, I think we ought to discuss it, whether you
want to or not. It’s really rather important—and you can’t just get out
of it by looking like an angry queen and saying, ‘I have nothing to
say.’ I’m in love with you, Virginia, and not with love, so I want us
to be sane about it. There’s a great deal more pleasure in sanity than
people think—for, you know, one doesn’t have to be mad because one is
in love....” And then, from behind, he bent down and gently tilted up
her chin with his hand and kissed her lips; and, surprisingly, they held
to his lips!
“Is that the way sanity takes you?” she asked.
“It was a proposal of marriage,” he said gravely. It was the first time
that word had occurred between them; but it had occurred within them for
now two weeks. Virginia stared at him seriously, and her hand gently
brushed his forehead, a very fond gesture. The curious anger in her had
died as suddenly as it had come.
“That’s what I was being angry about,” she explained. “And that’s why
I’ve made you avoid the subject these glorious two weeks, these lovers’
weeks. I don’t think I want to marry you, Ivor. In fact, I don’t think
any woman has ever wanted to marry you.”
“I’ve only asked one,” he told her darkly. “But I’m afraid you will have
to marry me, Virginia. Things seem to point that way. I am not
philandering with you, I’d have you know. I have finished with
philandering. It doesn’t matter a button to me if we are married or not,
and I’ve no one in the world to consider but you—but marriage seems to
be indicated, for several weighty reasons which I will explain to you if
you’ll cease laughing at me.”
“I was trying to look like a woman yearning for dinner, that’s all.”
“You must yearn,” he said firmly. “We can always dine, but we can’t
always talk sense——”
“Not even now,” she interrupted with a great weariness. “As far as I can
make out you are trying to make an honest woman of me. Well, you can’t
do it. No one can do it. And I want my dinner, please.”
“Damn dinner! It’s no good being funny about this, Virginia, because I’m
frightfully serious. I will not have us slopping about Europe in this
hole-and-corner way. You are too fine and I am too old.”
“So this is ‘slopping about,’ is it?” she asked, ever so quietly.
“Don’t, please, drive me into being disloyal to all this——” he was
begging her impatiently, when she swiftly interrupted him with a
gesture.
“Oh, got you!” she cried, laughing into his astonished eyes. “Don’t you
see, you poor Ivor? No possible or prospective husband could have said
that—only a lover could have said it, in just that particularly idiotic
way! Oh, Ivor, you are too sweet! And that’s why it’s perfectly absurd,
all this talk about our marrying. You simply don’t look or think or talk
like any possible husband; it’s perfectly obvious to the meanest
intelligence that you are a lover and always will be. You simply aren’t
casual enough to be anything else, Ivor. I assure you, dear. You will
never make any woman feel, deep down in her, that you could be anything
so casual as her husband. Anyway, you can’t be mine—oh, please don’t
insist!” she pathetically begged him. “For I will give way, and then we
will look so silly as husband and wife—or rather, feel silly. Oh, my
dear, it’s ever such an impossible relation for Ivor and Virginia!...”
But he insisted that they must be reasonable and responsible people, not
vague drifters on the scum of life.
“It’s just a matter of orderliness,” he explained earnestly, “our
getting married. You are quite right, it is an effort to see myself as
your husband and you as my wife—but we needn’t make the effort once
we’ve committed the fact. When I said that you were too fine and I was
too old to slop about Europe in a hole-and-corner way, I meant that this
disorderly kind of life is unworthy of you, and that I’m not young
enough any more to enjoy doing no work all the time. For, you know,
one never can do any real work unless there’s some stability in the way
of life—one simply must be a responsible person, even a lover must be a
responsible person, if he is ever to get any work done. And the idea
that a man and a woman of your position can live together and say, ‘the
devil take the world’ is bosh, there’s never any conviction about that
‘devil take the world’ remark. I know you don’t care anything about
social position, I know you quite sincerely don’t ever want to do social
things again—but, Virginia, there’s something displeasing and slack,
like two people being in dressing-gowns all day long, in a state about
which people can make remarks—and in which you can get mocking letters
from Tarlyon! I’m talking sense, Virginia, so don’t argue with me
because I want my dinner as much as you do and it’s my turn to be angry
next....”
Her silence was serious, her eyes wide with thought. He waited, close
beside her, staring at her with a crooked little smile. Then, suddenly,
she nodded, just once.
“All right,” she said, almost absently. “George will let me divorce
him—yes, we can manage that. He’s got a lot of common sense hidden away
somewhere....” She got up from her chair with a sudden little shake.
“That’s settled then, Ivor. No more talk about it, please—oh, please!”
she suddenly pleaded in her breathless little voice. “Let’s have our
summer, and then in the autumn we can get down to this business of
arrangement and divorce—down from our mountains, Ivor, right down!” Her
eyes seemed clouded, he had a queer idea that she was going to cry; but
she didn’t, she picked up a tube of lip-salve from the toilet-table and
took it to her lips, and then on a sudden thought held it away again.
“Will you kiss me before or after?” she asked.
And he did whatever it was suitable for him to do.
The corridors of a hotel at the hour of nine-fifteen at night are
consecrated to the activities of valets de chambre: it is at that
mysterious hour, when the quality are at dinner or the play, that the
white-aproned valets raid their bedrooms and rudely snatch away their
clothes; and, with jackets and trousers screwed deftly under their arms,
go searching the most noisome holes of the hotel for boot-brushes and
oily rags with which to dust and clean them.
But to-night the last of messieurs et mesdames were late in their
descent. And it was as the valets were waiting in a little group about
a bedroom door, in final gossip before the raid, that there passed them
down the corridor two silent dandies: a very fair lady—“Ah, ce type
anglais!”—and a very tall, beak-nosed, clean-shaven man with one arm
and a white flower brave on the silk lapel of his smoking. The
white-aproned group stared after monsieur et milady; they saw the hand
of the fair lady suddenly laid upon the sleeve of the tall gentleman,
and the way she raised her head to him and spoke words which, they saw,
the dark profile was quite helpless to answer.
“Elle l’aime, vous savez,” said the doyen of the valets, a wise
man.
“Elle s’amuse, mon vieux,” sneered a young Italian with a broken nose;
but his heart had been broken too, several times.
Now these were the sudden words of the fair lady, which her companion
was quite helpless to answer.
“I want a baby,” she said. “I need a son—frightfully!”
“And I think,” she said, “that there’s somewhere a son of yours who
needs me—frightfully!”
“Comedia!” whispered the young Italian with the broken nose, as the
lift swallowed up the silence of monsieur et milady.
The pact was made, then: there was to be no talk of “arrangements” until
the autumn, it was to be a clear summer of—“unreason,” Virginia teased
him. So they had no thought of returning to England that spring or
summer, and did not—except for one reckless night in April, to a masque
at the Albert Hall. Carnival, lovely carnival! And they were so weirdly
and completely disguised—for Virginia was an adept at the art of masque
and fancy-dress—that not one of her thousand acquaintances recognised
her, or him; and they had much fun to watch the cheerful passages of
Lois and many another, including Tarlyon and Hugo Cypress, who had both
adopted the same fancy-dress in the form of an Assyrian beard each: with
which Tarlyon looked quite magnificent and royal, and Hugo quite too
comical. And once, as she passed him, Hugo caught her and insisted on
her complaisance for the dance; but as she danced, she didn’t, of
course, dare utter a word, lest he should recognise her and “cluck” the
news to every one; though even so he might have perceived her had he not
been so tipsy—“entirely to amuse the guests, lovely lady,” he earnestly
assured her choking silence. And then, in the early morning, swift
bathing and changing in Ivor’s flat in Upper Brook Street, and so back
to France by the eight o’clock train. “Unreason,” indeed!...
What had they to do with England, those two, and what had England to do
with them, during those months? They would outlaw themselves until the
autumn....
They were violently happy in each other. They were great lovers, Ivor
and Virginia. And sometimes it was a consuming love, and then again it
would be very gentle: silent now and bubbling then, gay and grave in
changing moods, and sometimes it would be passing sombre—and then again
the thing would burst upon them. “Like a flash of very white teeth,”
Virginia said. But she said many strange things in nearness, for she was
very shameless with him, which was strange in her. (Gerald Trevor used
to say that it was the business of a good mistress to be shameless, and
the business of a good lover to appreciate it. Men can’t afford to be
shameless, they get nasty, he said. Prejudice, of course. Dear Gerald!)
One day she wondered about her shamelessness with him, saying that she
had never been like that before.
“But never, Ivor! Men have wanted me to say things, of course, but one
just wasn’t able to, even if one liked them very much. One just
couldn’t. But now! Oh, you lovely beast, Ivor!...”
Now when Virginia said she had “never” done a thing before, there was no
question of not believing her (the word “never” is really frightfully
difficult to believe), for the amazing thing about Virginia was that she
never told a lie. She had never been known to so far, anyway. And Ivor
accused her of never telling a lie, saying that it was inhuman, and that
he felt rather out of it, having told a-many.
“But that’s where I’m beastly,” she pointed out vividly. “I go silent,
you see. I just sit still and say nothing. It’s much worse than lying,
and much crueller, to be silent—and I’m known, you know, as a very
silent woman. Of course I get a bit chatty with you ...” she suddenly
giggled at his expression. That was how things generally ended with
those two....
One day Virginia cried. Looking up from the page of a book, Ivor saw her
eyes dimmed with tears.
“Oh!” she cried, at his look.
“Well!” he exclaimed, in utter surprise.
She smiled a little, in sudden confusion. And she spitefully dabbed her
eyes with a handkerchief.
“I must be growing up,” she said.
“But, darling, not yet to second childhood!”
Oh, how sad she looked! like a fairy in a sad tale about Midsummer
Night.
“I’m realising, you see, that I haven’t deserved a bit of this—oh, not
a bit of it!” she cried miserably. “Ivor, I’ve deserved it much less
than other people might deserve it. I am too lucky, Ivor, and I’m
afraid....”
“I’ve been such a beastly person,” she said. “You don’t know....”
Vividly the scene of his first kiss that January night in Nasyngton came
back to him. He remembered it against her.
“Don’t, please, Virginia!” he begged her. “I do hate your thinking of
all that....”
She stared at him miserably. There were no tears in her eyes now, they
were intent beyond his shoulder.
“I’m sorry,” she said plaintively. “Only I see men. Suddenly, sitting
here—I see men. You and I are so happy, you think such fine things
about me, and you make me fine—but sometimes I see men! Men who wanted
to be happy with me, you know. I was so easy, Ivor ... and then I was so
cruel.... Some haven’t forgiven me yet. There are a few men in the world
this minute who hate me for a beastly woman, and they are right, for
they’ve never seen me with you. I’ve been awful vicious, Ivor....”
And he remembered the feeling she had once given him of the “wastes”
within her, the lawless wastes where Virginia’s soul wandered in
lawlessness, the bleak wastes of angry indifference; and how he had
seen her, felt her, dropping thither from his love, and how he had
somehow clutched her back, he never knew how—this soft and tender
Virginia, pitiful and so full of pity!
“You are thinking lovely things about me!” she cried in distress. “I see
by your eyes, Ivor.”
And her arm swept round the wide and dim studio in an impotent gesture.
“Why don’t you see that I don’t deserve all this?” she cried.
For all these things came to pass in a studio in the Place du Tertre,
which is a small square lying flat on top of the Butte above Montmartre,
in the white shadow and beneath the white cupolas of the queer church of
Sacré Cœur.
This studio lay behind a shabby little house in the Place du Tertre, and
was built low and wide and elegant to the caprice of an adventurous
artist, one Kay Benson; and with it was a garden of flowers by day and
lanterns by night, a little garden replete with the secret of all lovely
gardens, for a man and a woman could sit in it: thence to stare down at
the mists of the busy city and the thin and lively riband of the Seine,
at the whole pageant and the confusion of mighty Paris, from the Mont
Valérien to the grim old Lion de Belfort.
It was by devious ways and for various reasons that, on that first of
May, Ivor and Virginia climbed from the luxury of the Place Vendôme to
the solitude of the Butte, to the studio over against the queer church
of Sacré Cœur; for is it not queer that men should have climbed so high
and laboured so long to build so ugly a church as Sacré Cœur? which is
thus a fitting ambition for the silly revellers of Montmartre to reach
by dawn, for it is an ugly church even in the dawn and only distance can
make it beautiful.
Their pact was to outlaw themselves from England and all men, from the
March day when they arrived in Paris until October. But one cannot be
undisturbed in the heart of Paris: which must, of course, be only a
figure of speech, for surely the heart of Paris must lie otherwhere than
about the rue de la Paix, else men would not so easily die for it. And,
too, it was now the chattering Paris of departing armies and approaching
Conference, when Lady Tarlyon could not take a step without being
recognised and hailed: and Ivor had to be continually standing aside and
trying to look as though himself had met her by chance only a moment
before.
So they had left Paris, very shortly after their first arrival, and
again by car. The world was before them, but they had not a wide choice
of direction. Northwards were still soldiers and ruins, westwards were
armaments going to rest, eastwards was never but rather dull—so they
went towards the Pyrenees, staying where they happened. They went to
Hendaye and to St. Jean de Luz—but not to Biarritz!
“Oh no, not Biarritz! We are not feeling at all smart these days!”
Virginia cried in his ear, and jolly nearly bit it; which was a sudden
habit of hers that caused words between them, for she seemed to like
doing it, but it hurt him. “Who has more right to bite your ear than I?”
Virginia cried, and because he remarked that she should have said “me”
instead of “I,” she punished him. “Oh, you beast, Ivor! you like it, you
know you do! And besides your own grammar in your books is rotten....”
But no god known to man can be so absurdly and unreservedly kind to two
people; and so there travelled in the car with Ivor and Virginia, the
chauffeur and the maid (the amiable “Smith”), an invisible but impish
little traveller—none other than that “sick little pain”! It plagued
Virginia increasingly, that sick little pain inside her; and soon its
mark was laid softly upon her face, always clear-white as a white
camellia; but lately it was as though the deity of her father’s
button-hole was becoming the deity of Virginia’s complexion, for a
gardenia was not more wan nor peculiar-white than the disturbing pallor
of her face. Her lips Virginia coloured, but never a touch of rouge
touched her cheek, for she said that many Carnal generations had
established her complexion, and who was she to risk breaking the entail
of so precious a property? And Ivor agreed with her, saying that she was
quite right to have the courage of her own complexion....
Now one day it came to pass that the stuff in the little white bottle,
in which there was opium and mint, lost all its soothing properties; and
the bravery of Virginia—it was only a very little pain, after all!—was
of no avail against the solicitude of Ivor, so that Paris saw them again
on an afternoon in April.
“I know of a doctor Lois had once,” Virginia said. But when she came out
of that doctor’s consulting room, Ivor saw that she was impatient.
“The man’s a fool,” Virginia said; and when they were well outside, she
said: “He has the indigestion theory on the brain. He shook his head
over me—such a nasty little man, Ivor! And he said that it might be due
to too many cocktails and irregular habits—me! And so I didn’t even
trouble to tell him that I hadn’t touched anything but Vichy for years,
and not much of that.... Now what are we going to do, Ivor?”
“We are going to find a better doctor,” Ivor said; and found a famous
one the very next day. “This sick little pain,” Ivor said, “has had a
long enough run....”
Le docteur David was a very tall and bearded old gentleman who lived in
a very small and stuffy apartement in the rue Ponthieu, a narrow
street off the Champs Elysées: a famous specialist and a kind and genial
man of the world, with a perfect command of many languages and without a
trace of that aggressive optimism which makes so many Gallic doctors
quite unbearable to their victims. Virginia liked him, saying that he
was a most superior man and that the word indigestion had not dominated
their conversation, but that Dr. David had suggested that X-ray
photographs would be interesting. She was not very communicative about
it, Ivor thought.
They went again to the rue Ponthieu after the X-ray photographs had been
taken. And the first sight Ivor had of le docteur David was when, pacing
up and down the stuffy and overfurnished waiting-room in his
restlessness, a wide double-door opened and there appeared the back of
Virginia and the heavily bearded face of the specialist. Virginia was
saying:—
“Then it will be all right until October? Oh, please say ‘yes,’ doctor!”
“Yes,” smiled the tall, old gentleman. They came into the room, and Ivor
fully saw him as a very courtly, very bearded, and very wise-looking man
of the world. Virginia introduced them, and said quickly to Ivor:—
“It’s a long story. Dr. David says I must be operated on, but that I can
wait until October....”
“So long as you keep quiet,” said Dr. David.
“Oh yes, I will keep quiet!” Virginia breathed softly.
“But when I say quiet, madame, I mean very, very quiet,” Dr. David
insisted gravely; and his eyes smiled gravely down on her, so that she
should understand him well.
“And you say,” Virginia went quickly on, “that it will be quite all
right for me to be cut into little bits in London? For I was once in a
French maison de santé for a few days, and though the nurses were very
kind they were dreadfully inefficient, and looked as though they were or
might be nuns. It was most depressing....”
The old man chuckled in his beard. Unlike most Frenchmen, he stood on
his own and not on France’s dignity.
“But yes, London is easily managed! I have often worked with Ian
Black—but you know him, probably? Who in London does not know Ian
Black?”
“Yes, I know him,” Ivor said, and Dr. David smiled across at him. Ivor
had often met the surgeon, Ian Black, at Rodney West’s house....
“You must come to see me once a week for a while,” the specialist told
Virginia, “to let me know how you are. Thus we will cure you.”
“I will come twice a week,” Virginia cried gaily, liking the old
gentleman more every moment.
“Well, then, once as a patient and once as a friend,” Dr. David smiled
gallantly. “But remember, Lady Tarlyon,” he added gravely, “you must
keep very quiet. I warn you that it will be much, much more comfortable
for you....”
As Virginia passed out he detained Ivor for a moment. He looked
thoughtfully at Ivor.
“If you are a great friend of Lady Tarlyon’s,” said le docteur David,
“you will persuade her to keep quiet for the next few months. You will
help her to keep quiet, perhaps? These things are very difficult, I
know....” And Ivor silently agreed that these things were very difficult
indeed.
“You see,” Virginia began, as the car swallowed up the Champs Elysées
towards the Ritz, “when I first went to see him, he patted me about here
and there, and then he asked me the questions which even the nicest
doctors must ask women. He didn’t seem any more satisfied with my
answers than I am with the facts—for I do get so unnecessarily weak,
sometimes, Ivor! And then he asked if I had ever had a motor accident or
a fall from a horse, and I remembered a fall I had had in the second
year of the war, over a ditch. Not a really bad fall, you know, but just
bad enough to shake me up and keep me in bed for a day or two. And then,
after the X-rays had been taken, he said I was a bit wrenched about
inside—it’s all very technical, dear—and that he could fix it good and
proper with an operation. Not a very serious operation, he said, but not
so very minor either. So that’s why I must keep quiet until October—oh
yes, I insisted on October, so that we can have our summer out!—for
he’s afraid of ever so little a hæmorrhage or something. It would be
very bad for me, he said, Ivor,” she added, in a funny little way.
“We must leave the Ritz at once,” Ivor firmly capped a silence.
“Please!” she agreed. “But where shall we go to, Ivor? I couldn’t bear
one of those dazzling flats in the Avenue Victor Hugo or round about the
Parc Monceau, even if we could find one; and the Latin Quarter is now an
annexe of New York—where can we go, Ivor?”
The car swung round the vast Place de la Concorde....
“I’m thinking,” said Ivor.
He thought and acted to such good advantage that—with the help of wires
to Turner to hunt up old addresses—within twenty-four hours he had
routed up Kay Benson in his studio on the Butte. Ivor had known Kay
Benson in the feverish months of new acquaintance succeeding on his
meeting with Otto and Fitz in 1910: had lent him money—which Kay had
repaid—and had never entirely lost touch with him. Now Ivor liked the
studio at sight, dirty and unkempt as it was; for Kay Benson, having
built and decorated it in a suddenly rich period before the war, had
since fallen from that high estate, and was become again the
impoverished and earnest Kay of old. His absence during the war had not
improved the general ensemble of the place—but still, thought Ivor, a
few days, a few stuffs, a little furniture, and Virginia would put it
splendidly right. And the garden over Paris was a marvellous accident, a
miracle to happen to a lover....
Kay Benson was eager—the poorer he was the more eager he was about
everything, poor Kay!—to go to Tripoli: “and leave this bloody Europe
for good and all,” he said furiously. So the matter of letting the
studio to Ivor, from that very day if Ivor liked, was easily arranged.
But when Virginia saw it in the candle-light of that same night—Kay was
adventuring, earnestly of course, and had given Ivor the key—she cried
out that she simply must have it for her own: it was so divine with its
wide yet dim roominess, its little stairs up to a little gallery at the
end, and its little rooms leading from the little gallery.
“Smith can take care of us and cook for us here,” Virginia cried,
quickly planning. “And there’s a sweet little room for her. And a bigger
little room for Ivor. And the biggest room of all for Virginia, who
will sleep on a bed in the corner of the studio, which bed will be a
lovely divan by day....”
“But will he sell the lease?” she asked anxiously, and Ivor said Kay
Benson would sell anything.
“But I will buy it,” Ivor said. “I found it, and I’m going to buy
it. Yah!”
“You might let me, I do think!” Virginia made plaint.
Ivor softened, magnificently:
“Well, we will both buy it—between us!”
“Oh, Ivor, our eyrie! Over Paris, out of ken—our eyrie, Ivor!” And
Virginia’s eyes were brighter than a room of a thousand candles....
Thus it was, then, that Ivor and Virginia came to be in a studio on the
Butte, on the first day of May, 1919; and intended to stay there, until
the business of life should take them to London in October.
But the “sick little pain” was not to be tamed into regularity so easily
as all that, and it cared nothing for pacts. Virginia’s body was
rebellious of Virginia’s heart. And London saw them long before October;
it saw them approaching from the sky in a wide-winged, colourless thing
which many men had died to make so convenient for Ivor and Virginia.
Maybe Virginia had not been quiet enough. Although she very seldom left
the studio and its little garden over Paris, maybe she had not been
quiet enough. Le docteur David, on every one of her weekly visits,
reminded her—and sometimes Ivor, when he accompanied her—of his urgent
command. But, as Dr. David himself had said, these things are very
difficult. And Ivor and Virginia were in love.
Everything seemed to be going very well until a certain morning in July.
Ivor was leisurely dressing—with one arm one dresses either very
leisurely or very frantically—in his little room off the gallery, when
the Smith came in. She would often come in thus, of a morning or
evening, to help him with his tie or suchlike; for though Ivor was now
very expert in managing his clothes, he was not averse from a little
help from the amiable Smith. But she looked concerned this morning.
“Milady is not well to-day,” she said.
“Why, what’s the matter, Smith?”
“Milady is too pale,” Smith said mysteriously.
And indeed, when in a few minutes he came down into the studio, Virginia
was “too pale.” She lay propped up in the bed—that which was “a lovely
divan by day”—and her face was whiter than the pillows behind her head.
“This bed is not going to be a divan to-day,” she turned her head to him
to say, as he came down the little stairway. And she smiled at his
concern through the loose mass of her hair, for she was brushing it.
Whenever Virginia felt tired and lazy in bed she would brush her hair
for a long time, with a very special and hard brush; and as she brushed
it she would incline her head a little this and that way, peering at you
the while through the golden mesh, which shone gloriously with the
brushing.
“But, Virginia!” he cried, beside her bed: “are you very ill?”
“Not awfully,” said Virginia.
As he stood, his hand gently held aside the spilled golden hair that
almost hid her face.
“But you’ve got no right to look as white as this, my dear! You’ve given
Smith an awful fright.”
“Oh, Smith!” she smiled up at him. “She ought to know better, I do
think—that ever-anxious little Smith!”
“It’s really quite all right,” she assured him. “I’m apt to get like
this now and then—more or less. I’ll just lie about in bed to-day, and
to-morrow I’ll be as well as anything. Especially if you’ll read me out
that new Shaw play Smith brought up from Brentano’s yesterday. But don’t
read the preface, please, for he always gets so angry in his prefaces,
and I couldn’t bear any one to be angry with me to-day.”
Ivor sat down on the edge of the bed. He took her hand, and looked very
miserable.
“I feel a beast,” he said.
Virginia rapped his knuckles sharply with her brush. Virginia was angry.
“Don’t be silly, Ivor! What on earth has it to do with you?” And she
opened her eyes very wide at him, and raised her eyebrows with the “Is
this man mad?” look.
Then Smith came in with breakfast, which they had from a little table
beside the bed. Virginia always took a large glass of milk at breakfast:
to make her strong and fat, she said.
It was half-past nine by Ivor’s watch. He rose. “I will now dash down to
Paris,” he told her sternly, “to have a little speech with Dr. David.
And then Dr. David will dash up here to have a little speech with you.”
Virginia made a quick noise, but Ivor would have none of that.
“You might go in the afternoon!” she pleaded.
“Now you are being silly,” he only said to that; and put on his hat, a
soft gray thing which he was quite unable to wear straight.
“Well, go, then!” Virginia cried with feverish venom. She had asked
him to read her a Shaw play, and he was going to fetch a doctor! “Oh,
the fool!” Virginia wildly thought, in the impatient surge of her
weakness.
Ivor paced about the garden while the doctor was within the studio: and
he had no eyes for the glory of the July morning over Paris, they
worried the ground and distance with dark absence.
At last Dr. David came out, and Ivor walked with him to his car: through
a small green door, up a narrow passage between two dingy houses, and
through a wide door on to the pavement of the Place.
“The operation must be next week,” Dr. David told him, as they walked.
“Oh!” said Ivor; then turned frankly to the old man. “Tell me, doctor,
is this operation really serious or not?”
“Well, it is not negligible,” the old man answered. “But it isn’t really
serious—particularly in the hands of Ian Black. It will be painful for
her, you understand—I am afraid Lady Tarlyon will consider that part
of it extremely serious. But I should say as little as possible to her
about the pain, if I were you. I daresay you know all there is to know
about pain....”
“I am writing to Ian Black to-day,” he went on, “to make arrangements
for next Thursday. So you will please cross next Tuesday, a week from
to-day, for she must be well rested.”
Dr. David made a sudden gesture with his hand.
“It is a small nuisance,” he said, “that Lady Tarlyon must have it done
in London, for the jolting in trains and on the boat will do her no
good, you understand. Particularly as everything is so crowded now. Even
an aeroplane would be better, if she had ever been up in one.”
“Oh, but she has—several times, I think!” Ivor cried; and smiled to
remember the press photographs of Virginia Tracy “going up, gone up,
come down and out” in 1913. “And I should think we could easily manage
an aeroplane for next week.” The idea took hold of him. “Oh, yes, why
not?”
“In that case you had better ‘manage’ it with your friends in England,”
said Dr. David, “for the service here is not yet organised, and they
might make difficulties. The Embassy might help, of course....”
“We won’t ask them,” Ivor said quickly. “We can manage one from England,
I’m sure. Lady Tarlyon has aerial connections.” He laughed gaily. “Oh,
splendid, doctor! She will be awfully pleased about that.”
They were now on the dingy pavement of the Place du Tertre, and Dr.
David had his hand on the door of his limousine; but with the other he
suddenly touched Ivor’s shoulder, a charmingly intimate gesture.
“Let me know,” he said, “what you have arranged. I shall be pleased to
hear that Lady Tarlyon is going to have a little pleasure before the
pain. For only thus is life bearable—whether the pleasure comes before
or after the pain. But it generally comes before, I understand....”
Charming old man, who contrived such courtesy out of commonplace!
Merriment and gravity were but the width of an eyelash apart in
Virginia: which was well proved that same night, after dinner, as she
lay in bed and smoked a cigarette. It was understood that Virginia
smoked but four cigarettes a day now—which, of course, it was remarked
by Ivor, always made the fifth so much more enjoyable. He was sitting
now in an arm-chair near her, and hanging from his hand over the arm was
the book of Shaw plays, from which he had been reading to her.
“I suppose you know,” Virginia breathed suddenly into her smoke, “that
I’m not to have my baby after all.”
“I don’t mean,” she explained, “that this operation affects that. It
might and it mightn’t—oh, the beastly mess that women’s bodies are, and
the lovely way that Swinburne wrote of them! Has a doctor ever written a
great poem, I wonder, Ivor? I can’t imagine it.... Dr. David told me
when I first went to see him that I’m not built the way of a
child-bearing woman, and that if I ever had one it would be the kind of
miracle that happens on the last page of a book. And you can’t imagine
how sweetly the old man turned it into a compliment, the way he said:
‘You are the childless woman of the ages, madame.’ Oh, compliments are
divine when they are quite meaningless, which may be why women like
those men who are always thinking of something else. It’s almost worth
while being ill to have met Dr. David....” She took a deep breath of her
cigarette, then crushed it into the ash-tray by her pillow.
“Come near,” she begged him, “and I will tell you something ever so
interesting.”
He sat at the side of the bed, and took her hand and played with it.
“You have made me tell you many stories,” he reminded her. “And now you
tell me one....”
“Ah, but your stories have sharp endings—the way your life will end,
maybe! You tell cruel stories, Ivor. I sometimes think you have a very
cruel mind. And that leads me to think, I don’t know why, that you will
die with a hard collar on, Ivor! But the story I’m going to tell has no
ending at all—the point of my story, dear, is that it has no ending!
Unless you say that a ‘dead-end’ is a proper ending....”
“I’m not going to say anything,” he said. “I am here to listen.”
“Yes, listen,” she begged him. “Years ago, when first you met me, I was
running amok. Lois was, too, and so we ran amok together; and made quite
a pretty little tradition of it, you remember? And every one seemed
awfully pleased about it: the more we ran amok the more most people
admired us and photographed us and said of us the kind of beastly things
that make a woman certain she’s beautiful—except just a few severely
romantic people like you, dear, who brushed us aside for the shoddy
people we were. People said we were newer than any new generation had
ever been before, which was quite true of some of us, but the rest of us
were all the dear old generations wrapped up together and gone rotten.
For, you see, Lois and I were ladies gone rotten—that’s exactly what we
were, Ivor, rotten ladies. The only time Lois has ever lost her temper
was when a man once called her a rotten lady. He was a nice man....
And so running amok was great fun for us, and great fun for our men
too—though I do think that if the finest of them hadn’t died they would
have sickened of us pretty soon; and perhaps they wouldn’t have been so
eager for ‘fun’ if they hadn’t vaguely known that they weren’t long for
this world—which must sound nonsense, I suppose. But perhaps they were
fey, Ivor! But the few stern people who cursed us were on the wrong
tack, for they said we were young fools trying to be mighty clever and
thinking ourselves no end of fine people; whereas the one thing we were
all very clear about in our minds was that we were nothing at all in
England, that we didn’t matter one way or the other, that we didn’t
represent anything in particular and had been somehow left behind in a
valley or pushed on ahead into a kind of bog. Quite a nice bog it was,
we thought, but still it was a bog, and we were stranded in it. Yes, it
was just as though people had got together and said to us: ‘Look here,
you dashing young people, push on ahead and see what it’s like out
there’—and ‘out there’ we had found a bog with purple and yellow
funguses all over it, and slimy pools of queer colours, and it looked so
strange and lovely that we stepped right into it; and then people
pointed to us, saying: ‘Just look how depraved they are! They are
covered with verdigris, but they call it wet-white!’ But we weren’t all
that, you know, we were just silly and rather cruel. And all that time I
didn’t like what I was doing a bit. I liked it so little that I used to
write letters to Kerrison about how fatuous life was, and death was, and
love was, and I was, and of course he was. He understood things, you
know, even though you couldn’t bear him. But somehow I went on, there
seemed nothing else to do—and something shoddy and inevitable seemed to
be pushing one on from behind, always and always. Rather like those poor
wretches in Tchekov’s plays, you remember, who go on and on doing things
in a kind of frantic boredom and despair, and talk cleverly about
meaningless things.... Lois was different, she was always more decided
than me; and she did a thing because she liked it and as long as she
liked it, and she stopped when she was bored with it. In her heart Lois
was always ambitious, she wanted to use the ‘Lady Lois’ legend as well
as she could; she wanted to be ‘the famous beauty who is representative
of the best artistic and intellectual qualities of the British
patrician’—though there was never anything patrician about Lois except
her lovely face, for her soul is an innkeeper’s soul; like those of all
patricians who succeed in life, I think, for the real patrician
tradition seems to be carried on in people’s hearts by those who fail,
like Coriolanus—which, maybe, is at the root of snobbery, something
fine at the root of something silly, a kind of spiritual respect for
fine people who fail.... And so she married nice little Johnny, and now
she lets Cabinet ministers and artists make love to her or get drunk and
disorderly in her house so that she can influence their Work, and when
she dies she will be as famous and as respected as Lady Ripon, but not
nearly so nice inside.... But I went on. Or other people went on and
left me behind. I don’t know. I did as I liked, and that’s a lonely
business, for doing as one likes means always to be leaving one thing
and going to another, it means that there are tags and ends of things
and people sticking out all over one’s past life. I slopped about with
such a determined face, Ivor! And all the time I felt I was going to a
‘dead-end,’ that there was a ‘dead-end’ at the end of my life. I
couldn’t think round that ‘dead-end,’ my mind went to a cul-de-sac
when I thought about it. And I was right, you know, for a woman of
thirty-one was making for her ‘dead-end’—her ‘dead-end’ was in sight,
it just was, as her horse cleared the hedge into that dark little lane
by Lady Hall—and, behold! you were there, Ivor! Do you remember how gay
I was at seeing you! Oh, I knew, you see, that something marvellous had
happened! I knew that my ‘dead-end’ was beaten as it came—you were
there, Ivor! And then I was a little sad, you remember, wondering
whether you were still the same defensive and antagonistic person you
had been years ago, and hoping you weren’t; for you were the man who had
got in the way of my ‘dead-end,’ and I wanted you....”
And then her lover comforted Virginia, saying that there would be no
“dead-end” for them now. And from some corner of his memory there leapt
out Aunt Moira’s lines from a poem by Meredith, but he did not quote the
lines, he just said: “We will be rapid falcons, Virginia, and we won’t
be caught in any snare, but fly together to very high places. And, oddly
enough, I know what I’m talking about....”
But some fantasy had come to Virginia, for suddenly she sat up in bed in
almost frantic disorder.
“But why don’t you work, Ivor? Why are you so happy with me—why don’t
you work?” That is what she cried; and her eyes glittered piteously with
the perverse fear that comes to people in a fever.
“You are choking me with your happiness—in a lovely way, but you are
choking me, I can’t explain. And you are choking yourself, too. Oh, I
know! You are a striving person, Ivor, but now you are too happy, you
are soaking yourself in happiness. It’s my fault.... This is unnatural
for you, this life of ours, you want to work and strive and think things
as well as to love—and here you are, being softened and choked! Why
don’t I see you miserable, Ivor, why aren’t you wretched at all this
waste? You are losing yourself in love, and as you lose yourself I will
lose you. Oh, yes, it’s like that with us....” She had overtaxed her
strength, and as she lay back she looked as though she might faint, if a
wraith can faint.
And he laughed at her and reminded her of their pact, and of the things
they had said that first evening in Paris....
“Oh, that!” she cried. And his face was so near to her that he kissed
her lips, those taut, dry lips—burning dry now.
“Yes,” she whispered, “it’s been divine—it is divine. But now it’s
ending, Ivor! We are flying back to London next week—you are taking me
back to London! And I’ve got the feeling of the ‘dead-end’ on me again,
for the first time since I met you in that lane—it’s stolen back! For
you’ve become like me, you know, this love has been stronger than you,
and you are going soft and rotten with it—you are drifting with me, my
sweet, instead of my striving with you! That is what’s called being
lovers, and it’s very bad for people. I told you, don’t you remember,
that we shouldn’t be lovers, you and I. Oh, I am so wise sometimes!” ...
“When we are married,” he mocked her, “a slight difference will be
perceptible in our relations. We will be busy lovers, then. There are so
many stars in the sky, Virginia, that there’s no reason for us to stay
on one....”
“Oh, when we are married!” she echoed his mockery very queerly; and she
held up his chin with her hand and looked deep into his eyes. And she
mocked his bewilderment at her mood, whispering, “Poor child!” so that
he was uncomfortable. She was very wise sometimes, she had said.
“How can you say that, Ivor, when you know I may die next week? How do
you know I won’t die—and I wouldn’t care but for you! I’ve got like
that. But what I am thinking now is that maybe it would be better for
you if I did die, much better maybe. You could strive all you wanted
then!” she breathed with a sudden catch, and feverishly pushed his face
from her. “How do you know anything, Ivor, to talk so glibly about our
marrying? You are very arrogant, I do think.... There was a lot of
destiny in Greek plays, and how do you know there isn’t some left for
us—for unanchored people like you and me? Destiny for the undecided....
Perhaps it’s fated that you take me to my death as Iphigenia was taken
to sacrifice. Perhaps you are taking Virginia to sacrifice to the god of
your life, so that the voyage of your life will be helped with
favourable winds! Oh, Ivor, don’t protest, for how can you know
anything? These things are very secret from us....”
“Women have moods,” Magdalen had said. “They can’t help it, and no one
can help them....”
But Virginia didn’t die. Ian Black saw to that. But he told Ivor,
downstairs in the waiting-room of the Wimpole Street nursing-home where
Ivor spent many distressed hours, that his patient wasn’t “resisting”
very, very much.
“I don’t mean that she’s giving way,” Ian Black said, “or that she seems
to want to collapse. But she’s too busy analysing the pain—and
herself—and me, too! Of course the pain is terrible, terrible....”
Ian Black was a chubby little man of very neat appearance and a round,
boyish face, on which an expression of pleased or anxious surprise was
always dominant. But he was the most restful man in the world to be
with, for he had no gestures and made no little fusses with the things
of his body, hands and eyebrows and hair and feet and the like, while he
talked. He stood before you and stared up at you—he always had to look
“up” to every one except when he was operating on them—with round eyes,
his hands clasped on his funny little belly, and said what he had to say
very gently, very gently and convincingly. To see him, it was too
difficult to imagine that he was the most famous surgeon in London: to
listen to him, it was easy.
“I think you might see her for just a minute this morning,” Black
suggested. “Buck her up a bit....”
This was the third morning after the operation, and Ivor had not yet
seen her. He had not asked to. She was in great pain, he was told. She
had asked to see him several times, but it had been thought it might
upset her as yet.
Now, at ten o’clock in the morning, he went into her room. Very dark and
dim it was with its curtains drawn, and about it was that aggressively
clean smell of a very serious sick room. Virginia’s eyes were closed.
The nurse whispered to Ivor that she would go out for a moment, leaving
the door a little ajar....
Ivor stood by the bed, stealthily, wondering what to do. He felt
ashamed, somehow.... Virginia wasn’t asleep, she was in pain. In great
pain. Her face was thin and gray and it was somehow screwed up, and her
eyes were tightly screwed up. Then she opened them and stared at him,
and he saw that her eyes were wet. His were, too. She moistened her lips
with her tongue, staring at him with terribly hurt eyes. He murmured
something.
“It hurts,” she whispered. “Frightful....”
Her forehead, where his lips touched her, was damp and hot. So damp....
And when she tried to speak again she sobbed a little.
“Don’t try,” he begged. “Poor Virginia——”
“I can speak,” she almost boasted. “It’s this pain....”
“There’s things inside me,” she said, with a sob. “Steel things....
They’ve left them in there ... holding things together.... Oh, it hurts,
Ivor....”
She tried to explain how it hurt. She wanted to explain.
“Look,” she whispered, with screwed-up eyes. She tried to lift up the
covering to show him something. He had to help her. “Look,” she said
pitifully. And she lifted up her hands under the clothes, and he saw
that they were tied together with a handkerchief. “That’s to stop me
tearing the things out and killing myself,” she explained with amazing
clarity. “There’s things sticking in underneath....”
“I can’t bear it,” she sobbed dryly. “All the time ... like being
ploughed up inside, Ivor—with a plough.... All the time.... I can’t
bear it.”
And Ivor couldn’t bear it. He had to go out. Oh, my God, how awful!...
He lingered on the way down the stairs, for his eyes were wet and he
didn’t want to look a fool. Ian Black was still in the waiting-room,
drawing on his gloves. He had waited for him, it seemed.
“Well, what d’you think?” Black asked casually. Amazing man! he asked it
as though he could possibly care a damn what Ivor thought about it. But
it was reassuring, that casual question.
“She tried to tell me about her pain,” Ivor said.
“Ah, yes!” Black said thoughtfully. “It interests her....”
“It hurts her,” said Ivor. “Can’t you do anything about it, Black?”
“We do,” Black assured him. “We give her a piqure now and then, and
she sleeps all right. But we can’t give her piqures all the time.” He
stood so still while he talked, like a chubby little image.
“But how long does this pain last?” Ivor asked impatiently. “These
things that she says are sticking inside her?... It seems awful.”
“It is,” Black agreed. “It lasts three more days. Then everything will
be all right. Assure you. 65 per cent. chance now. Only 10 per cent.
chance yesterday. You didn’t know....”
“Well, must be going now,” Black said briskly. “Don’t worry,
Marlay—everything all right except the pain, and that will be. If she
was only delirious, it would help her forget it a bit. But her mind’s
amazingly clear—too clear—she’s got a strong mind, you know. I asked
her this morning if the doctor pulling faces at her would make her
delirious, and she asked me how I could ‘bear my life, inflicting pain
on people?’ I said I preferred golf, and that life was pretty rotten all
ways, now. Can I drop you anywhere? I’m going to St. George’s....”
“I think I’ll walk, you know.... Thanks, Black.”
As they were taking their hats in the hall Ian Black said:—
“Rodney West’s coming to dine to-night. You might come, if you like.
Eight-thirty. He’s getting rather Germanophile in reaction to the
French, and we might drive it out of him. No good reacting from idiocy
to idiocy. And I’ll have some more news for you by then, probably....”
So of course Ivor dined in New Cavendish Street.
He did not see Virginia again for a week. For even when “the things”
were finally out she was in frightful pain. Naturally, for a little
while, the matron said. (Ivor did not like the matron at all: she was a
brisk matron.) The “dressings” were the worst ordeals—which Ian Black
and the doctor paid her the compliment of doing themselves, every
morning at some time between ten and eleven. Ivor knew about
“dressings,” and shuddered. And he felt he couldn’t bear to see her, nor
she him really, and that he could do no good anyway. But he was there
first thing every morning, in the waiting-room, and Ian Black would come
down after the “dressing” and say a word or two. The way Black could get
from his patient to politics and back again was continually amazing
Ivor. “Practice,” Black explained.
Ivor would return in the evening, with flowers or whatever little thing
Virginia had required of the nurse; for he had begged the nurse to
telephone him instantly whatever, no matter how slight or even absurd,
the patient might want, so that it could be produced at once. And
Virginia asked for a special cold-cream, a bright green silk
handkerchief, a bottle of Chablis (which she was allowed to sip), some
grapefruit, a paper fan, another kind of cold-cream, some real Eau de
Cologne (not English stuff), and some coffee-ice-cream; which, Ian
Black and the doctor said, wouldn’t do her any harm, just a very little.
She kept on asking for it, the nurse said.
The operation was to have taken place in great secrecy, for Virginia
didn’t want any one to know. So she had gone straight to the
nursing-home on her arrival at the Croydon landing-station, and had
written to no one. She would have written or telephoned to her father,
only she said he couldn’t help talking and every one would know in a
minute.
But every one did know, in almost a minute. The brisk matron had seen to
that. And what are gossip-columns for, but to report the living, the
dying, and the dead? One cheerful gossip reported Virginia as good as
dead (with photograph), but another quickly brought her to life again
(with photograph). They had ever detail pat, and of course gave the
address of the nursing-home. They commented on Ian Black, what a good
surgeon he was and how popular he was; they spoke of his distinguished
services during the war, wondered about a K.B.E., and made guesses at
his income. They reminded their readers of Virginia’s beauty, her
painting, her aeroplane-trips, the sudden death of her charming mother,
and the extremely sudden death of her first husband. They referred to
her second husband, the gallant and handsome Viscount Tarlyon, said he
had two bars to the D.S.O. and sympathised with him in his anxiety. They
mentioned her recreations (dogs and travelling), and reminded their
readers that her father always wore a gardenia and that he was the last
of a splendid type of Englishman....
So, as the season was not quite over, every one called. Lois, Kerrison,
Euphemia Halliday, Rupert Kare, Pretty Leyton, Hugo Cypress.... Every
one called to leave messages and flowers. The polite and amiable M.
Stutz called and said he would call again; and, having asked whether
Lady Tarlyon needed anything, and having heard that she did not, he sent
her a superb fruit-salad. And of course Lord Carnal called, almost the
first, and more than once. Ivor saw him one morning, from the window of
the waiting-room, as he was emerging from a car, a huge bunch of white
roses under one arm and a small bunch of orchids in his hand: a very
elegant and clean-shaven old gentleman, with nothing at all “old world”
about his clothes, and looking exactly as George Alexander always wanted
to look but never quite could. And of course George Tarlyon called,
several times.
Ivor kept well out of the way when the rush began; when he called at the
home he was, after the first day or two, shown into a secondary and
smaller waiting-room at Ian Black’s request to the matron who, being a
brisk matron, had an objection ready for everything; but, in spite of
her, there Ivor would wait every morning until Virginia was a little
better, for his “word or two” with the doctor or Black....
Now on the morning when the last of “the things” were to be taken out of
Virginia, the maid who answered the door—by one of those criminal
aberrations peculiar to maids and classed by them as “mistakes,” whereas
they are generally catastrophes—ushered into that secondary and most
private waiting-room, George Tarlyon.
“Oh, hallo!” said Tarlyon, rather surprised.
“Hallo!” said Ivor; and thought crossly: something’s very wrong with
that maid, for she’s gone and left the door open now.... There was a
short silence. Tarlyon, with his hands in his pockets, stared absently
out of the window.
“Can one smoke here, I wonder?” he asked.
“I do,” said Ivor: taking out his cigarette-case....
“Rotten business, isn’t it?” Tarlyon said shortly. “Poor child.... Awful
pain, I suppose?”
“Awful.”
“Seen her at all?” Tarlyon turned frankly to him.
“Just once. She was feeling it a bit. Beastly to watch and feel quite
well....”
“A doctor chap once told me,” Tarlyon said thoughtfully, “that women can
bear pain much better than men. He said that there’s scarcely a man
alive who would go through the pain of child-bearing twice, or even
once, while look at women....”
They looked at women for a while, in silence; which was broken by a very
faint cry from somewhere.
“Yes, I suppose so,” Ivor said vaguely. He wanted to close the door, but
somehow didn’t. And he couldn’t help intently listening ... that cry
again, almost a shriek, then a sob, and a jumble of faint, broken
words....
“Lord, man, what’s up!” cried Tarlyon. Ivor’s face was white, then
green.
“That’s Virginia,” he said, with an effort. “Makes me feel sick....
Sorry.... For God’s sake shut that door, Tarlyon!”
Tarlyon closed the door softly. He was very quiet and concerned.
“I say—poor child!” he murmured; and he looked at Ivor puffing a
cigarette with a green face. “I don’t wonder ... didn’t realise myself.”
“Some fool of a nurse must have left her door open for a second,” Ivor
said angrily. He pointed vaguely to his mutilated shoulder. “I’ve had
some, and so I know,” he tried to apologise for his weakness.
“I bet you do ...” Tarlyon softly agreed.
Ian Black came in soon.
“Hallo, Marlay! Ah, Lord Tarlyon!... Well, things are looking up now,
quite all right.” His hands folded across his little port, he stared up
at Ivor with round, surprised eyes. “I say, Marlay, you do look green!
Want brandy?”
“The maid left this door open,” Ivor said darkly, “and you went one
better by leaving your patient’s door open. What do you expect? And I
don’t want brandy....”
“That must have been the nurse coming in and out with the things,” Ian
Black gently explained, and turned to Tarlyon. “Worst part’s over, Lord
Tarlyon. A few days now, and she’ll be out of pain. Fairly long
convalescence, though....”
“Main thing’s to get better,” Tarlyon said; and he lounged briskly
towards the door. “Well, good-bye, Marlay—see you here again, probably.
Good-bye, Mr. Black—take care of my wife, won’t you? Not many lovely
women like that....”
Ivor was by the window, staring sombrely at Wimpole Street. There was a
car just outside: it was a closed car, and the driver sat facing him.
Some one in the back of the car smiled at his face at the window—a
woman—and Ivor vaguely smiled back. Of course, Ann Chester, “pretty
Ann.” ... Good God, what a man!
“Seems a good fellow, Tarlyon,” Black said from behind, “in spite of his
popularity.”
Ivor turned round to him.
“Oh, yes,” he said vaguely. “Charming....”
“You can see her for a moment now, if you like,” Black told him. “Just a
quick moment....”
Ivor appealed to him with a wretched smile.
“I’d rather not, you know. Much rather. And she would talk about the
pain, too——”
“Naturally,” Black murmured absently. “It interests her....”
But, it later appeared, that was not all that had interested her. “Oh,
one’s been thinking such a lot!” she told Ivor weakly, when he saw her a
few afternoons later.
“Well, such as?” Ivor smiled. The commonplace of treating an ill person
like a child occurred to him vividly. One couldn’t help it.
“About people,” Virginia explained vaguely. “And about clouds....”
“We had a nice lot of clouds downstairs, too,” Ivor told her.
“Poor Ivor,” she said softly.
“My clouds,” she said, “were different. They rolled off people, and I
saw people clearly. They’ll be rolling back again soon, I daresay....”
“Where did I come in?” he asked. And he wanted to know, too. He loved
Virginia.
“You didn’t, Ivor.” She turned her head on her pillow and stared at him
very seriously. How gray and wan she was! “There haven’t been any clouds
on you for ages—we pushed them off together, don’t you remember? We
insisted on that.... You did, anyway. You are the nice man of my life,
Ivor.... I kept on telling myself that I would mention that to the
higher authorities when I was dead.”
“This dying business,” Ivor said almost frantically, “has got on our
nerves, Virginia.”
“I was only telling you,” she said. “But about people—I saw them very
clearly, Ivor. I saw George....”
“So did I. He’s been here several times.”
“I know.” He followed her eyes to the mantelpiece, and there, in a
basket like a nest, were plovers’ eggs cushioned on a pile of the stuff
that plovers’ nests are made of.
“But it’s not the season,” he protested. He felt rather hurt.
“They’re made of sweet stuff,” Virginia explained. “Mr. Selfridge makes
them, and they’re supposed to be eatable....”
“George,” she said, “is an inventive man. He is also an inevitable man.
I mean, he’s always there, somewhere about, and one can’t get rid of
him. One can’t get rid of him, Ivor, because he won’t be got rid of—he
simply won’t take one seriously, don’t you see? And how can one get rid
of a man who doesn’t take one seriously?”
“Men like that,” she said softly, “want nothing. So unlike you,
dear....”
Ivor’s eyes had darkened. So! But she had him at a disadvantage, she was
so gray and wan! So he only said, “Pouf!” and tried to say it easily,
but her little, amused smile penetrated him.
“Oh, Ivor!” she teased him, “I didn’t mean what you thought I meant. You
are so suspicious, Ivor! I didn’t mean that I was going to let George
come back into my life....”
“I was only talking, dear,” she said weakly.
Virginia got stronger very gradually: too gradually, the doctor said,
but still, she got stronger. She did not seem to wish to get strong in
any way but gradually, saying that there was no hurry. “The month of
August,” she said, “demands to be spent in bed. I’ve always thought
so....”
Ivor, however, was not so sure about there being “no hurry”; there was a
great deal to be done, and the sooner the better, now that they were
back in England. That divorce business, now.... But even when Virginia
was much stronger and could sit up in bed and take human meals again, he
was shy of pressing her on that point. It was so inevitable, after all,
so why worry himself about it? Ivor had learnt to be afraid of his
impatience.
Ivor was now very definite about his feelings for Virginia. He had been
definite about them for some months, but from some time before her
illness until now that definiteness had been growing into, and had now
become, the amazing fact of his life; and as such it went about with
him, it was his companion—he didn’t tread on air, he wasn’t that kind
of man any more, but he trod on solid earth with the determination of a
man who has a good tale in his heart. For it wasn’t that that amazing
fact made everything else—the things of life and living, of strife and
thinking—look insignificant, or that everything else was entirely at
its beck and call. It was merely that nothing else was worth while to
him without the company of that amazing fact. With that fact in his life
everything else seemed tremendously worth living for. And there was a
great freedom about it, too, for he didn’t feel he had to be worthy of
it or strive for it or earn money for it; that fact was just part of him
and he was part of it, and work was inconceivable without it; for the
real and jolly thing about love is not when nothing else matters but
love—but when everything else matters because of love. The last is
love, but the first is waste of time. Ivor had always thought that....
More than anything else in the world, he hated being “messed about.” It
was something deep and fundamental in his character, a birth-mark, a
creed, a principle—he hated being “messed about.” A great number of
nuisances went into that phrase, it was a useful phrase: even to think
of being “messed about” made him hot; and it was growing on him.
Until she was fairly strong Virginia was not allowed to see
people—except, of course, Ivor, who sat with her for a while in the
afternoons, and sometimes in the evenings. But when she was allowed to
see people, few came. For was it not the August of 1919, when money was
plentiful and London “empty”! Here and there some one called and left in
a rush and a clatter, on his or her way to France or Scotland. Ivor, of
course, had no intention of going away; and neither, it appeared, had
George Tarlyon.
When Virginia was stronger Tarlyon called every day at any hour that
happened, often when Ivor was there, and sat with her for a few minutes;
or rather, he lounged about in his splendid way and made a few remarks
about things in general. He pointed out, to Ivor and Virginia, that
August was the month in which to stay in London. “It’s amusing,” he
said, “because as every one thinks every one else has gone away, a good
many every ones stay behind to amuse themselves in the wilderness. There
were eight couples at Claridge’s for lunch to-day, and I’ll swear each
couple had thought the other was at Deauville or Scotland....”
“Funny ...” said Virginia vaguely.
It was curious, Ivor thought, the way Virginia changed when Tarlyon was
about. She became at once more thoughtful, more retired, more secret;
and, watching her one day when Tarlyon was there, he realised with
almost a shock that Virginia’s face wore exactly the same expression as
on that evening when she had sat in his room at Nasyngton and Tarlyon
had come to fetch her: a little tired, a little bored, a little
secret.... But Tarlyon seemed to amuse her, in a rather hidden kind of
way. The idea of him seemed to amuse her. She would laugh a little when
he had gone, vaguely.
“George is getting very considerate,” she said one day as he had just
gone. “I can’t believe he is staying in London just to come and see his
sick and ailing wife—and yet what on earth can he find to do in London
in August?”
“God knows!” shrugged Ivor. Having seen Ann Chester that morning in Bond
Street, he thought God wouldn’t have to be very clever to know.
“Naturally,” Virginia said, “there’s always ‘pretty Ann.’ He can do what
he likes with ‘pretty Ann.’”
Ivor suddenly decided that Tarlyon was bad for Virginia. He fumbled in
his mind as to, exactly, in what way, but didn’t quite get it....
“I was thinking,” he said, “that I like Tarlyon less and less.”
“But why less and less?” Virginia opened her eyes very wide to ask. “You
couldn’t like him less than you’ve always done....” Now that was not
quite fair of Virginia to say that; and she herself had once discovered
a theory that George and Ivor might have been great friends—might have.
“You’d have laughed together,” she said. “You are both braggarts, in an
internal, headachy way....”
“He’s bad for you,” Ivor vaguely but firmly explained.
“What, me! Oh, Ivor, tell me how?” she begged him childishly. “You are
subtle to-day, I do think!”
“He’s got a queer effect on you,” Ivor tried to explain, prowling about
at the foot of the bed. “You somehow go hard, different. I don’t
know....”
“I’m sure I don’t,” said Virginia.
He prowled about; and then he stood by the window, with his back to her.
“Do you remember,” her voice came dimly to him, “one night ages ago when
I told you that I wasn’t really natural with you, that I was always on
my best behaviour with you? And I scarcely knew you then....”
He came darkly beside her.
“The point is,” he said, “that you are only natural with me, and
unnatural with the others. Exactly....”
“Maybe,” she said—and smiled up at him mischievously. And he smiled
too, but the gloom was deep in him to-day. He sat on a chair at the foot
of the bed.
“Virginia,” he appealed, “I don’t like all this.... It’s rotten.”
“What’s rotten?”
“Now don’t be silly, dear! This Tarlyon and Marlay business, of
course—husband and lover—and you in between—and Ann Chester in Bond
Street....”
“Nasty four-sided triangle,” he said.
“But I’m not in between, silly!” she cried sharply. “I’m with you. What
has come over you to-day—you’re getting quite gaga, Ivor!”
But he jumped up from his chair with an impatient gesture of his one
arm. He prowled about. Never had Virginia seen him like this! So
dark.... Propped high up on the bed she stared at him wondering; then
she screwed up her eyes a little, examining him.... He turned to her,
trying to look very reasonable.
“What I mean to say is,” he said, “that we ought to settle this once and
for all. I can’t bear these vague positions—his coming to see you, and
me here—both of us hanging round you—and both of us hating each other.
It’s common, Virginia!”
“You are very arrogant, Ivor,” she told him rather mysteriously.
He brushed that away. “It’s common,” he insisted.
“It is, the way you put it,” she remarked. She was very tranquil. “But
the fact is that George only comes out of cussedness and a desire to
annoy. And he seems to be succeeding, with you anyway....”
“Personally,” she said thoughtfully, “I don’t get annoyed with George
nowadays. He never wants anything....”
“You’ve said that before,” he said savagely, “and I didn’t like it then.
What does it mean, Virginia?
“Well, you want things, don’t you, Ivor?” she put to him, very softly.
She looked up into his face. “You want everything—don’t you, Ivor?”
Her softness humbled him. He turned away from her and prowled about. And
her voice followed him about the room like a weary little bird.
“And I’ve given you everything, haven’t I, Ivor? I’ve given you more
than I’ve given any man. Ivor, I’ve given you more than I thought I
could give any man ... or god....”
Her eyes were very wide and steady on him, as he stood above her; they
were sentinels put there to delude mankind, while Virginia’s soul was
somewhere else, in some funny, unknown place; dolorous eyes, it occurred
to him. So steady and blue and deep.... And he felt himself sinking into
those eyes, right into her, he felt things snapping in his head, and he
felt that if he lost himself in those eyes now he would be drowned for
ever, he would be lost—and she too! He hardened; he pretended to.
“Have you told Tarlyon about the divorce?”
Still they looked up into his face, those sentinels. And when at last
she closed her eyes he suffered a queer feeling that a great chance had
gone from him, a great chance full of light and blessedness. She pressed
her head back against her pillow, in a very tired way, and her lips
smiled a little. She shook her head very gently.
“But I will,” she whispered; and her lips smiled a little.
He prowled about the room for a long time.
They often played picquet: Virginia in bed, Ivor in a chair by the
bed, and between them the back of a copy of Vogue, on which they
played. Enormous sums of money were won and lost on that polished and
uncertain surface. Sometimes Ivor would win as much as £5000 at a
sitting, and the next day maybe he would lose all that and some besides.
Slips of paper were exchanged and treasured.
“If,” Virginia said, “you were to look at that slip of paper every
morning and say to yourself it was worth £5000, it soon would be. It’s a
matter of imagination....”
“I shouldn’t wonder,” said Ivor.
They were merry afternoons, those of her convalescence in August.
Virginia had to stay in bed, very quietly, until her wounds were quite
healed. She was allowed to lie on a sofa in the room for a very few
minutes every day, and that’s all.
“I don’t see much sense in it,” Virginia said to the doctor and Ian
Black, “being moved from a bed to a sofa—and a nursing-home sofa at
that! Why can’t I sit up in a chair?”
“Taking no risks,” said Ian Black, who was going to Scotland that
afternoon. The doctor nodded.
“You are being beastly to me,” Virginia told Ian Black steadily,
“because you have a reputation to keep up. What would have happened to
me, I’d like to know, if I hadn’t happened to be a rich woman and been
able to afford all this care? Suppose I’d been very poor?”
“You’d have died,” said Ian Black. The doctor looked thoughtful.
August rained. It rained, in London, from its beginning until its
middle, and then it hesitated a while. It was during that while that
Virginia was moved to her house in Belgrave Square—“the mausoleum”
which she so hated. But, at the nursing-home, they were glad of the
August rain. “One always really knows,” Virginia said, “that one isn’t
missing anything by not going away. But one likes to be certain.”
The gloom had passed off Ivor quickly. “Nerves,” he had explained to
Virginia, and neither had referred to it since; each secretly feeling
that they had walked into, and a little way up, a strange by-path, and
had then come running out again. But now, as often as not, Virginia told
her nurse to say she was asleep when Tarlyon called.
One day she told Ivor that she was to be moved to the “mausoleum” the
day after next.
“I’m to be allowed to drive for an hour or so every day,” she told him.
“But I mustn’t go out at night just yet, the doctor said, especially as
it’s so damp. We have, however, our own ideas about that....”
“Having stayed in the mausoleum for ten days,” she said, “we will have a
tremendous dinner at the Mont Agel. And then we will go away somewhere
to get fat and strong. At least I will get all that and you will watch
me.”
“And where, Virginia?” Places simply didn’t matter to Ivor: people were
important.
“Well, not at my place, that’s quite certain. Besides, I’ve lent it to
Lois and Johnny. I’d like to go to Galway, Ivor ... but maybe the
journey will be too long for me. We’ll think about it....”
“And then,” she said, “maybe we’ll go back to Paris. Or Morocco—or just
anywhere? What do you think, Ivor?”
“We’ll go back to Paris,” Ivor said, “or just anywhere, while you’re
waiting for your decree nisi, Virginia. Or else the King’s Proctor
will be unkind to us. And we ought to get the thing moving before we go
for this present holiday—we’ll begin while you’re at the mausoleum,
shall we? For it’s a long and boring business, this divorcing of
husbands, with or without collusion. You’ve got to write that usual
whining letter asking him to come back ‘and make a home for you,’ and
then he’s got to write to you saying he jolly well won’t, and so on, for
a long time.... It would be much easier, of course, if Tarlyon were
divorcing you. The placards would say, ‘Viscount Divorces Wife,’ and
there you are.”
Virginia laughed.
“He’d never do it, Ivor! And besides, he couldn’t bring it off, for the
King’s Proctor would be on him in a minute, George is so careless. No,
dear, we had better stick to the first scheme, which I’m sure he will
agree to quite comfortably....”
And she suddenly shook her head a little, just a little shake. And she
brightened.
“Oh, Ivor!” she cried. “I am looking forward to our dinner at the Mont
Agel! Are you? We’ll have the room upstairs, and dear Monsieur Stutz
will come and make us drink a very rare wine, saying with impressement
and his fingers bunched to his lips: ‘You will hear the angels singing,
Mr. Marlay....’”
“And we will, Virginia, we will!”
“Naturally,” she said.
On the morning of the day on which they were to dine at the Mont
Agel—Virginia having said that she would risk it, muffled there and
back in the car—Ivor in Upper Brook Street received a letter by hand.
The letter was addressed in pencil, a pencilled scrawl, and Ivor
fingered it with a smile. He had never before received a letter from
Virginia—what occasion had there been, indeed! And what occasion was
there now? for he had left Virginia at the mausoleum but the night
before, indeed only a very few hours ago. Thoughtfully he weighed the
letter in his hand, and it was a heavy letter. The Smith had brought it,
Turner told him.
Yes, it was a long letter, several sheets scrawled over on both sides,
in Virginia’s careless way. To read it he sat, in his dressing-gown, on
a chair by the window. September was carrying on August’s tradition; it
rained dispassionately.
“I’m writing to you, Ivor, because I can’t talk to you sometimes. I
mean, dear, that I can’t talk of certain things without you getting
very, very dark; and then, you see, I get frightened for us both, of
what will happen—to you and me, Ivor, in those dark moments! You prowl
about so, you know! And so I’m sitting up in bed now, just after you
have left me, to write to you about a most important and tiresome
matter—what the papers so rightly call ‘that much vexed question of
divorce.’ Keep your eyebrows straight, Ivor! Don’t bring your eyebrows
down into the darkness! Keep your eyebrows straight, my darling, and
listen to Virginia. For although you are intelligent and I am not, I am
very wise, Ivor. Sometimes. And this is what I know——”
“Breakfast on the table, sir,” Turner reminded him. Ivor looked up and
stared at Turner for several seconds. “Yes, yes,” he said at last.
“Ever since we spoke of marrying, that first night in Paris, I’ve known
somewhere deep down that I should sometime have to write this letter.
But that doesn’t make it any easier, dear, for you can be very
difficult. Ivor, I can’t marry you. I won’t. And I’ve known that all the
time—and haven’t you known it too? I could have stopped you thinking of
it right at the beginning, by saying that George wouldn’t dream of
divorcing me or letting me divorce him, but I can’t tell little lies,
Ivor, so I told you a big lie. I’ve been pretending, Ivor. Darling, tell
me that you knew I was pretending, just so that we could be happy—and
that it doesn’t now come as a shock to you? I told you, that night, that
I didn’t think any woman would, or could marry you. I don’t know now....
Maybe there is such a woman. Maybe your mother, as you’ve described her
to me, was such a woman. But I don’t think so, for she let your father
quite lose himself in her, she changed him from a man into a lover, and
he was so lost to the world that he might just as well have died ten
years before he did. But you, Ivor, want things both ways, and that’s
why I can’t marry you. We would choke each other. Don’t you see? I’m not
strong enough and you simply aren’t casual enough—you aren’t casual at
all! I’m not trying to make any music-hall comparisons between husbands
and lovers, but there must be some capacity for casualness in a husband,
else people would go mad. I don’t mean that I’d go mad with you—it’s
you who would go mad. I love you. Too much, maybe—oh, yes, Ivor, too
much! And I’ve never loved any one before, except George, and that was a
defiant kind of thing: I’ve just let men touch me, because they so
wanted to. I’m thinking of you in all this, much more than of myself. I
know I’m not strong enough to marry you. You want to do things, you
will not be happy unless you are doing things and writing things. You
think you want to do things, anyway. And in your mind you are never
really at rest, you are always striving about something, sometimes quite
unimportant things. And you say to yourself that you will be able to
strive tremendously when we are married, but I say you will not, and I’m
very wise about some things. For, I tell you, I’m not strong enough
inside to cope with your love and the burden of mine, I just sink under
them and you sink with me—you are not casual enough, Ivor! You don’t
push one back, ever! Why, among your many impatiences, haven’t you got
that of sometimes pushing one away? And if we many we will sink, and you
will never do the work you want to do—have you had a thought about it
all this time, you who despise slackers so much? Just loving a
woman—even me!—isn’t enough for you. You only think it is, dear. Dear
Ivor, I can see you prowling about my life with a smile nailed on your
face, wondering why it is that you can’t do or write anything
‘nowadays.’ Your father must have been a different man to you, I think,
for he just damned everything and lost himself in love and Italy, quite
lost to the world that had hoped such things from him. You are stronger
than your father, and you want to master the world and mould it to your
desire—and me too! and you almost have, but not quite. And that’s why
our marrying can only make us unhappy in the end, for under your
strength lies your father’s weakness of loving too completely—your
ambitions are just added to you, poor Ivor, to make you unhappy! I am
your mistress, and you are my lover. I am your woman and you are my man.
Oh, Ivor, let’s go on like that, let’s go on as we’ve done, free to come
and go, free to love and work—let me be free, Ivor, to keep your love
for me by letting you be free—isn’t that how you once described the
‘patrician idea,’ dear? Well, it’s hitting you back now.... I get weak
in your arms, and so I am writing this to you. I will not marry you,
Ivor. And you will be glad, sometime. But I shall be sorry if you are
angry now.”
Turner had lied about the breakfast, for it was not on the table; he had
kept it warm, but that availed the breakfast not at all, for it was not
eaten.
It had been arranged that Ivor should lunch at Belgrave Square that day;
but he told Turner to ring up and say that he would be unable to lunch,
but would call in the afternoon if he might. Not casual enough, he
thought grimly.... He did not want to go to lunch, not because he was
angry, but because he wanted to think. He wanted to do any amount of
thinking. And he prowled about his flat all the morning, thinking.
September still rained.
One of the greatest mistakes Ivor ever made in his life was not to go to
luncheon with Virginia that day, so that he could “think.” It was, in
fact, the great mistake of his life. For a man of his impatient temper
does not, at certain times, think. He broods. And how far that brooding
can take a man from the reality of a thing! How venomously it colours a
thing or a woman, so that they would be unrecognisable to a clear eye!
What beastliness it unfolds, what lies it verifies, what disloyalties it
makes bitterly reasonable!...
To be “messed about” by Virginia! by, of all the people in the world,
Virginia! “Let’s go on as we have done,” she had written. “But how the
devil can we?” he tried in his mind to answer reasonably. “We can’t go
on, we grown-up people, playing a game of loving in corners, beastly
corners—oh, you want to make this thing a liaison, Virginia! and that
I won’t have. I’d rather——” What would he rather? he pulled himself up
to wonder. And because he couldn’t face the words that might come after
that “rather” he suddenly became furious with himself, with Virginia,
with everything. He was being bullied, somehow....
He went out, at last, in the afternoon. He hadn’t, in his flat, noticed
the closeness of the day, but as soon as he was out it met him very
uncomfortably. “Damn!” he said. September had ceased to rain, but soon
would again, it was so close and gray. He walked into Park Lane and down
Hamilton Place. There weren’t many people about, somehow.... The
Bachelor’s, at the corner, was closed for cleaning, and it looked
frightfully closed. And then, at Hyde Park Corner, he had a vision. The
vision held him up as he was about to cross to St. George’s and thus to
Belgrave Square, it held him on the curb staring at the navvies tearing
up the road. The vision was of another young man on another gray
afternoon, but wintry gray. That other afternoon, that other walk, that
other young man! Was it like that again? There the buses were by the
Park Gates, and the people crowding into them; then there had been a
young girl with a very white and serious face, and maybe there was one
now; and it had been raining then, and it had been raining now.... Was
the only difference between that young man and himself that the young
man had had two arms whereas he had only one? Oh, ass.... Whereat he
smiled, and crossed Hyde Park Corner. He felt suddenly quite gay. Oh, it
was so different! He had admired Magdalen, he had admired her with his
heart, as he still did. But he loved Virginia. And he would talk to her
now—dear Virginia!—and make her take it all less, well, dramatically.
That’s just what was wrong, they were both taking it too dramatically.
Lovers are idiots, he thought. He would point out that it was fearful
rot about his ever growing to hate her because she made him slack—“Why,
my dear,” he’d say, “it’s only with you I can conceive doing anything at
all!” And he would tell her again how impossible it was for them to go
on as they had been doing, that they had so far only been on holiday,
and that holidays must end. And then they would easily arrange
something.... And then, to-night, they would dine at the Mont Agel, in
the upstairs room. And how surprised M. Stutz would be to see them
together again, for he hadn’t seen them together since 1912, and then
only in crowds....
“The Smith is rather odd,” Ivor thought. He saw her on the stairs of
“the mausoleum,” as he climbed to the upstairs drawing-room where
Virginia would be. The Smith was on her way out, it seemed. “To the
cleaners, I’ll bet,” thought Ivor, seeing the parcel under her arm.
“Good-afternoon, Smith,” he smiled in passing.
“Milady vous attend, monsieur,” she told him seriously; and left him
almost gaping at her as she toddled quickly down the wide stone
stairway.
Milady was playing the piano. She played very seldom, and not at all
well. As she sat at the piano, at the far corner of the room, her back
was to him; she was in a loose, low-cut, crimson gown, not the appalling
crimson of velvet but the soft, enchanting crimson of georgette, and on
its loose folds were strewn large golden squares of cabbalistic import;
and the whiteness of her slender neck above the crimson gown was a more
than human whiteness, it was the legendary whiteness of those Greek boys
who lead Greece astray; and her hair, which had been waved that morning,
was more golden than gold, even on such a dull September day. And his
feet lingered with his eyes, while she played absent-mindedly, as one
who knew she did not play well....
“Oh, Virginia!” he cried from behind her, softly, gaily. Everything
suddenly seemed so easy.... Her fingers hung absently on the notes, they
loitered, they fell; and she turned on the stool, not quickly. She
looked up at him, standing happily there.
“How quietly you came in,” she said. And he was amazed at her looks.
Virginia was startling white to-day—not ill particularly, but just
white, so that her red mouth looked wanton and peculiar, a carmine,
flaunting mouth. It looked quite strange to him, her mouth: she had put
on too much lip-salve, being ill. And her eyes were dark, dead blue,
like inland seas in sultry weather.
“I didn’t come to lunch, dear, because——”
“Oh, yes, yes!” she abruptly stopped him; and abruptly got up from the
stool. She took a cigarette from a box on a little table.
“And I don’t want to hear about that,” she said sharply, right at him.
“So don’t, please, go on about it....”
“But I say, Virginia——” he began out of his surprise, and then had to
stop because of it. He stared at the white face a yard away from him,
and at the eyes. Good God, they were quite livid—with something! He
tried to smile. This was too silly....
“We’ll make it quite all right about that—that letter, you know,” he
assured her, rather lamely. “We’ll find a way out, somehow....”
“Oh, for pity’s sake don’t go on about it!” she cried bitterly. “You’re
always pestering and pestering, Ivor. You never let a thing alone—but
never! You get on my nerves....” Her voice was sharp, and it hurt, like
a silken thread ripped across a finger.
“I’m bored with the whole subject,” she added wearily, turning away.
“And if you’ve read my letter there’s no more to say.”
And then she turned back to him with a queer, strained look. Maybe she
was trying to appear reasonable—in spite of him!
“Now please let us talk of something else, Ivor.”
He wondered at his own calmness. He didn’t feel in the least angry—but
he knew that somewhere in him there was a lot of anger. And he tried,
consciously, to level away even the possibility of anger within him.
“This is where sense comes in,” he thought. He was so surprised—at this
Virginia! She seemed to want to insult. Her whole manner.... Queer! So
she had been thinking, too—and away from him! She hadn’t given him a
chance—writing that letter, and then, because he’d stopped away to
think.... He hadn’t dreamt that her eyes could look at him like this, so
curiously livid. But, of course, she was still weak—after that awful
pain. And she had thought herself into a feverish state. He “got on her
nerves.” ...
Virginia, standing by a little table, was cutting the pages of a French
novel. Often, when her mind was absent, Virginia would cut the pages of
a French novel....
“I believe you buy them only for that purpose,” Ivor suddenly said.
Virginia smiled a little, dimly.
“George rang up,” she said, “to say he would come in for a few minutes
about five.”
“Ah,” said Ivor. It was nearly five now, he saw. He almost said that
this wasn’t perhaps the most opportune moment for Tarlyon to call, but
that would only make things worse.
He didn’t know what to say. Dinner at the Mont Agel, or going away to
Galway, as they had finally arranged, were about the only things he
could talk about now, and they would seem a little forced, he thought.
Nothing would fit this stupid moment.... He didn’t want to make things
worse; and he didn’t want to let her make him angry, certainly not that!
If both of them.... He didn’t understand this Virginia. There’s a queer
caddishness about her that I can’t understand, he thought. He felt
terribly flat.... He stood by the open window and stared out at the
wide, rain-soaked square and the thick plesaunce of trees that shone and
smelled of rain. The leaves looked delicious, in a rich and rather
beastly way, like green velvet shot with bronze. Nice to bury one’s face
in wet leaves.... It was awfully close, and spitting again. He held the
French windows as far open as they would go. The square was very still,
expecting thunder maybe.... She’s thinking away from me, he thought. And
I can’t stop her, somehow. She won’t let me. But I must.... He, no
matter how angry he might be with her, was always thinking towards her.
“Why don’t you ever push one back?” Well, why should he? He knew what he
wanted ... one must live cleanly.... And suddenly he swung round into
the room. She was not looking at him.
“But this is absurd!” he said violently to the bent head, to the golden
hair. He passionately wanted to put this silly thing right—it was so
silly! What right had she to write him that letter and then look queer
just because he hadn’t run to agree with her!
As she stood at the little table, her face was bent to it, to the book
her paper-knife was absently cutting; and as she stood, she raised her
face to his cry, and looked at him; she just looked, and her eyes were
quite expressionless, as though she was not there. Oh, that unearthly
look! But he didn’t care: he had suddenly felt his strength.
“This is absurd,” he repeated firmly, but almost gaily; and he took
quick strides towards her. He didn’t know what he was going to do, how
he would force her. But he felt his strength.
And George Tarlyon came in. Ivor stopped in his stride. Virginia turned
her face to the door.
“Hallo!” Tarlyon said, so airily! And he came towards them.
“Better, my dear?” Tarlyon asked, taking Virginia’s hand; and to Ivor:
“Septic weather, Marlay....”
Ivor somehow agreed that it was.
“Will you have tea, George?” Virginia asked, “or does this septic
weather call for a brandy-and-soda?”
“It calls, Virginia. With a lump of ice in it, too.”
Virginia pressed a bell. And she asked him:—
“Are you doing anything this evening?”
Tarlyon laughed, as though she had made a joke.
“Nothing that I couldn’t do just as well some other eveni——”
“Then perhaps you’ll dine with me here?” Virginia cut sharply in. “I
don’t want to go out, and——”
The door slammed to with a crash, and startled Virginia’s hand to her
heart. Tarlyon stared, and then he laughed. He had an eighteenth-century
kind of laugh; and he threw back his head a little, and his eyes
wrinkled up, as he laughed. It really was rather funny, that sudden
exit.... Far below them in the great house, like a cry in the bowels of
the earth, a door slammed massively.
When, very soon after, Turner received his master’s command to pack
“things,” he did not delay; for though he had seen his master darkly
furious before now, he did not remember ever to have seen him so very
darkly furious.
“We go to Nasyngton by the next train,” Ivor told him shortly.
“It won’t be very tidy, sir,” Turner murmured.
“No matter,” said his master.
“And for how long, sir—for the packing?”
“Oh, for a few days, man! I don’t know....” Ivor impatiently drove him
from the room; then called to him: “Tell Mrs. Hope she needn’t come
down. We can manage.”
Ivor had lost his temper. He wanted now but one thing, and that
violently—to get out of London, out of “all this”! What he would do
then, he had not the faintest idea. He had no other thoughts, there was
a furious jumble in his mind. Now and then he would see a white face, a
very white little face with livid blue eyes. Caddish eyes.... He would
think later, out of London! And his impatience dragged him and Turner to
Paddington a good half-hour before a train was due to leave for Reading,
Newbury, and Hungerford; and when at last it was in, it was passionately
mobbed by the crowds going riverwards in the heat—but who stood a
chance against the tall, one-armed young man with the straight eyebrows
and the defiant nose? Turner breathlessly squeezed in after him,
travelling “first” with a “third” ticket. “Get there somehow,” Turner
muttered.
And thus to Nasyngton village, by The Swan’s Neck dog-cart from
Hungerford: to the house of the Misses Cloister-Smiths beside the
ancient bridge over the River Kennet, towards eight o’clock on a damp
and sultry September evening. Turner had bought some eggs in Hungerford:
having understood that his master had indicated eggs as the only
possible food in such weather.
“Scramble them,” said Ivor, as they reached the house.
Of course, it was a little thing. Just a tiff.... His mind accused
Virginia, but not resentfully: reasonably. Quite reasonably. And he
thought of how he had first been angry when she had said to him, “You
get on my nerves!” Good God, he thought, are there ever two people who
don’t get on each other’s nerves sometimes! It’s an abominable thing,
but it happens—but it’s ever so much more abominable when it’s
expressed, in words! She’s got on my nerves before now, but I haven’t
said anything; one doesn’t. It’s one’s own fault when some one gets on
one’s nerves, and one must just let it pass in silence. One doesn’t tell
the person—it’s one of those commonplace insults that are still the
deepest. No restraint, Virginia dear, no restraint! Nor me, either,
banging the door on you like that!... But that made him angry again,
when he thought of what had driven him to that furious exit. That was
such a grotesque insult.... He had been trying so hard to put the thing
right! And then, suddenly, without a word to him, to turn to Tarlyon and
ask him to dine with her! Of course the dinner didn’t matter, what was a
dinner more or less? But to use Tarlyon as a weapon of her sudden
displeasure with him! Oh, it was childish, grotesque, caddish! Ivor
wanted to laugh when he thought of it, but his slamming of that door on
them got into his ears, and he couldn’t help retasting the fury of that
moment. He tried to tell himself that the situation required a sense of
humour....
The only trace of temper that Turner could find in Ivor in the morning
was a little grimness added to his ordinary manner. Turner had scrambled
eggs again for breakfast, and Ivor pointed out that he hadn’t meant him
to go on doing it all the time.... There was the soft light of a
hesitating sun over the morning.
“This morning,” he said, “we will fish, Turner. We will cast for trout
so that we may catch grayling.” Ivor had acquired more than a mile of
fishing rights with the house; he was not at all a good fisherman, but
one must do something; one generally, however, banged a ball with a
squash-racket against a wall.
“They’re rising pretty well, sir,” said Turner enthusiastically. He
liked going out fishing with his master, for it meant that after a few
impossible casts and a few poor ones his master would mutter something
about arms and say he would try again later: and would spend the rest of
the time prowling up and down while Turner cast for trout—which nearly
always turned out to be grayling. His master’s capacity for pacing up
and down anywhere and everywhere had never ceased to astonish Turner.
Carpet or wet grass, all the same to ’im, thought Turner.
“Must walk miles!” he would tell Mrs. Hope. “Potterin’ up and down like
that, one cigarette after another. And what ’e can find to think about
all that time beats me.”
“Beats ’im too, I s’d think,” said Mrs. Hope sympathetically. “Pore
lamb, the worried way ’is eyebrows get fixed!”
But Ivor was not doing very much thinking this morning as he paced up
and down, just far enough behind the river-bank not to offend the
fishes’ sensitive nerves. Get on their nerves perhaps, he thought. He
had come to a conclusion by the time he had fallen asleep last night;
and his awakening had confirmed it. One quarrels, he thought, almost
naturally, being human; and then, being human, one makes it up. But in a
few days, not straight away! I know what I want in this thing—and
Virginia must get to know what she wants, or else we’re in a blind
alley. There’s no sense in being nasty and then falling on each other’s
necks without having got rid of all the nastiness. She simply must not
be able to look at me like that in that horrible way. Caddish eyes....
And there was something so, well, blasphemous about those “caddish eyes”
that he had to force his mind away from them, else the thought of them
would make him angry again. There are rotten mysteries in us all....
The morning was not very eventful as to fishing. Perhaps there was too
much light, Ivor vaguely suggested. The afternoon, however, very quickly
put that all right, for the hesitating sun was quite obscured by three
o’clock, and a little later it began to spit; and by four it was raining
steadily, a wet and steady drizzle. They had passed to the farther side
of the bridge, where Turner had seen “them rising”; and it was there
that a telegraph boy, a very wet and sulky little boy who might have
been any kind of boy but for the coloured envelope in his hand, found
them. He had tried the house, he said sulkily. Turner quickly tore open
the envelope and handed the wire to Ivor.
“Seen anything?” the boy cheekily asked Turner.
Turner looked sharply at him and then down at the basket. The boy
thoughtfully examined the three grayling in the basket and remarked that
they would be getting wet in the rain.
“No answer,” a voice told him; and the little boy ploughed sulkily back
through the sodden grass to his bicycle against the bridge.
“Getting too wet now,” Ivor remarked; and long strides took him towards
the bridge and the house. Turner followed slowly; he would have liked
another cast or two, but Turner never fished alone, for the unwritten
law of Turner’s fishing was that his master was going to have “another
go in a minute.”
Within the house Ivor had another look at the wire. “Come back.” That’s
all! Dear Virginia! She must have rung up his flat and heard where he
was from Mrs. Hope.
But one either does a thing or one doesn’t. One can’t go dashing about
the country because of whims and wires. It’s no good our being babies
about this, Virginia, he thought. We must get sensible, somehow—find
out what we want and then not mess about with it like this. “Come back.”
Of course he would go back, he had never intended otherwise. But in a
day or two—say the day after to-morrow, when our minds are rested from
the folly of the thing and we’ll never need to speak of it again. Of
course he didn’t want to attach too much importance to childishness—but
still ... those eyes! He couldn’t entirely forgive those strangely livid
eyes, they had startled and hurt him frightfully, and they kept on
coming into his mind. Caddish.... The day after to-morrow, he thought
firmly. Not going back until I’ve forgotten that look.
After dinner he read the Life of Disraeli, the third volume. And once,
when he looked up, he caught a vivid glimpse of a lovely grave face
between golden “Swan and Edgar.” And at that very moment he almost went
to London, to run to the heart of that “mausoleum.”
Now Ivor was not fool enough to confound his weakness with his
principles: not entirely. And he had never had any principles in love
but love. And so the next afternoon, as he was prowling about the
river-bank in preparation for “another go in a minute,” he reasoned
between his desire to go to Virginia there and then and the hitch that
kept him back. Firstly and mainly, he candidly thought, it’s hurt pride.
In fact, it’s only that. But it’s not resentment against her that keeps
me from going until to-morrow—it’s just that I want to wipe away all
trace of that hurt pride, so that I can meet her clean. Yes, clean.... I
can’t go with a nasty secret in my heart. And although I want so much to
see her to-day, I shall want to see her so much more to-morrow that the
whole thing, hurt pride included, will bubble away in the rush. Oh, yes,
oh, yes....
For all that, he spilled his after-dinner coffee. He spilled it by
jumping up from his chair as Turner was at his elbow with it. And the
cup broke on the table.
“Oh!” said Turner.
“Going to London to-night, Turner!” Ivor cried gaily. What was a
coffee-cup?
“But there’s no train now, sir!”
And, having looked at the local guide, there was not.
“What about the car?” Ivor asked.
Turner looked very doubtful about the car.
“Well, we might look anyway,” Ivor said briskly. “Get the key and candle
and come along....”
The Misses Cloister-Smiths had not kept a car, but there was a small
shed to the right of the house in which such a “car” as Ivor’s could
quite well be kept. It was a poor looking car, and it gained rather than
lost in the light of the candle that Turner held to it. It was an
American car. After the splendid two-seater, the “dear old Camelot car,”
had been stolen—that epidemic of car stealing!—Ivor had bought this
“off a man”: it was the kind of car that one does buy “off a man.” But
Ivor didn’t care what it looked like, so long as it could “get about”
and was easily driven with one arm. “It’ll do,” he had said with a grin,
when he had first seen it. And it had done, so long as he used it
constantly; but once out of commission for any length of time it seemed
to retire within itself, and then to show a great disinclination ever
to move again. It had now been in the shed for nearly six months, and
looked it.
“Bit damp for it here,” said Turner. They looked at the car. Turner knew
a “bit” about cars, but he hadn’t troubled to know much about this one.
Turner despised this car—compared to that shining two-seater!
“Petrol,” said Ivor. And while Turner emptied a green tin, Ivor fiddled
about with the switchboard—there wasn’t much to fiddle about with on
that switchboard!—and then threw up the bonnet and pressed things
thoughtfully.
Turner thought of the rain outside, and he looked at the car. Won’t get
to London in this, he thought disgustedly.
“Come on, man!” cried Ivor! “It won’t start by staring at it. Give it a
twist.”
Turner gave it several twists, for the American’s starting-handle was
not one of those fierce ones that object to being twisted. Turner
twisted furiously, but only the thinnest of gurgles resulted.
“It’s not going to-night,” Turner said. He was glad.
Ivor pressed the carburettor until it was wet with petrol.
“Let me,” he said; and he twisted furiously.
“There’s something wrong, sir,” said Turner. He was very glad.
And Ivor suddenly laughed. He had suddenly seen a picture of Turner and
himself battling with that absurd and dirty old car in a ramshackle
shed, trying to get to London and Virginia, and he laughed.
“All right,” he comforted Turner. “I’ll go up to-morrow morning by the
nine-fifteen. You can come up later with the things. I won’t be coming
back here for some time, I expect. Not for a long time.”
“I shall walk to Hungerford,” he said, “so call me early....”
But, of course, Turner did not need to call him; and Ivor was striding
along the road to Hungerford by eight o’clock. He had plenty of time in
which to do the just over two miles before the train was due to leave,
but his impatience needed swift movement.
Ivor never could loiter: not even on a fine morning in Berkshire; and
even in his pacings up and down he would sometimes go at a furious rate
and find himself perspiring—about nothing at all! Ivor didn’t,
couldn’t, notice the country when there was anything on his mind: it was
an inability, like that of those tiresome people who can not
appreciate poetry unless it’s read to them by some one they like. A
mountain would have to be an enormous mountain before Ivor, with
anything on his mind, could become aware of it; and even then he would
be more aware of it if there was a man on top of it. A landscape would
have to be an amazing landscape before Ivor, with anything on his mind,
could become aware of it; and even then he would feel it more acutely if
there was a figure against the landscape. People were important to Ivor;
that is why he was a solitary, and that is why men become solitaries,
because people are important to them. People could make places beautiful
or ugly for Ivor.... And now he simply tore along the road to Hungerford
as though it had been a street in a slum, and through the fine September
mist as though he hated cigarette smoke. And as he strode along his mind
was gay on life and Virginia, and his hat swung from his hand, and his
thick hair shone black and brown with the water of its brushing.
It was about a mile from Hungerford that, as he turned the corner which
led to a path across the fields directly to the station, he almost
collided with the little telegraph-boy on his bicycle. The boy jumped
off sulkily, and tugged at his pocket.
“Tel’gram,” said the boy.
Ivor read: “Please come back.—Virginia.” And he saw that it had been
sent off at 5.45 the day before.
“Why didn’t I get this last night?” he asked sharply.
“Office closes 6.30,” the boy explained. “Can’t deliver tel’grams
Nasyngton after 6.”
“Ought to live in Hungerford,” the boy said cheekily.
The tall, dark man looked suddenly ferocious.
“If——” he began, and then, to the boy’s amazement, he started to run
away.
Ivor pulled himself up with a kind of fierce laugh. No good running to
catch a train before it’s in a station, he thought. It was the “Please”
in the wire that had set him running—suddenly, the idea of it!
“Please!” One was always hearing and saying that word, and yet it had
that amazing and potent meaning! The pity of it, and the generosity in
it! “Please,” she had written. It stabbed his heart, that word. He saw
her lips saying it, those taut and dry and beautiful lips that liked the
rush of a chill wind—he heard them saying it in his ears: “Please,
Ivor!” And all his gaiety was lost in regret for his folly of
yesterday—his folly of “wisdom” in not having gone to her before. He
had let her write “please” to him! God, Virginia and her beastly men!
It was beyond his power to prevent himself walking quickly; and he had a
long wait at Hungerford Station, up and down the far end of the London
platform—it seemed like hours—before any one but a porter or two was
visible. But at last motors began to twist round the slope from
Hungerford and down to the station, and soon the platform was dotted
with people and suitcases. Then the train from London bustled in at the
opposite platform, and soon a boy came round with papers.
Ivor bought The Times, and, as an afterthought, The Daily Mirror:
thinking to while away the minutes before his train came in, and one arm
not being sufficient to cope with The Times in the open. With that
pressed under his arm he held up the picture-paper at an angle: and
then, with a frown, he held it up straight: as he did so, dropping The
Times from under his arm. He didn’t pick it up: he stared at one of the
several pictures on the front page—a face he knew, looking so strange!
so odd, just there! And he knew the photograph too, it was an old one
and often reproduced, for it was a “stock” photograph and used on the
smallest provocation. They had often laughed at it together, calling it
“Virginia arrogant.” ... It was a little blurred.... But why there?
And though he saw the large type above it, though his eyes read it, and
then read it again, he simply could not take it in. Oh, absurd! “Death
of the Viscountess Tarlyon.” Oh, but rot! His hand trembled ever so
little as he held the paper higher to read the small type below
“Virginia arrogant.”
“We regret to announce the sudden death of the beautiful Viscountess
Tarlyon at her house in Belgrave Square towards eight o’clock last
night——” Ivor very consciously, very determinedly, closed his eyes and
then he opened them again. Yes, there was “Virginia arrogant” in front
of him. Then he looked about the platform—it seemed suddenly to be
crowded with people, and they all seemed to be yelling about something.
He turned to the small type again: “Lady Tarlyon, who will perhaps be
better remembered as the Hon. Virginia Tracy and later as Mrs. Hector
Sardon, underwent a serious operation some weeks ago, from which it was
thought she had quite...” he skipped a few words “ ..presumably went
out too soon, walking in the rain of the day before yesterday, and
contracted a chill which, in her weak state of health, only too soon....
Every one will regr—— Viscount Tarly——” He simply couldn’t see any
more of the type, his eyes wouldn’t take it in; and there was a
frightful noise in his ears, every one seemed to be yelling right at
him. People shouting, people pushing, porters.... “London train! Stop at
Newbury and Reading! London Train!” bang into his ear. Doors slammed to,
and then the train seemed to move across his eyes, kept on moving....
“Come on, sir, come on!” a voice cried impatiently. Ivor shook his
head at the voice and bent down to pick up The Times at his feet.
Someone had trodden on it.
He left the station very slowly: the way he had come, through the
turnstile into the fields, clutching the papers. Oh, rot.... “In the
rain of the day before yesterday,” it said. He stopped and looked at the
paper again; and, somehow dropping them both on to the path, left them
both there.... But that was the day she had sent him the first wire! How
then?... He couldn’t understand it at all, he couldn’t make head or tail
of the thing. Why, damn it, she’d sent him a wire only yesterday
evening—5.45! And then, quite clearly, he knew that Virginia hadn’t
written that wire herself—she had told little Smith to write it!
Virginia wouldn’t have signed the wire “Virginia”—she would never have
signed a wire to him—she hadn’t signed the wire that had taken him to
Cimiez—she hadn’t signed the first wire. “In the rain of the day before
yesterday.” ... Oh, my God!
He must have been walking at a furious pace, for he had to stop to wipe
his face with his handkerchief. His face was wet, dripping wet.... That
wire, that first wire! “Come back!” He saw it now, all of it,
everything. His thoughts tore round that first wire in a kind of fierce
circle, a clear circle, round and round it, round and round every detail
of it. “In the rain of the day before yesterday!” He saw and heard
Virginia, very white of face. As though he was there now, he saw
Virginia on that day. Just after luncheon. Virginia always called it
luncheon, never lunch. “And where shall we luncheon to-day?” she’d
say.... Drizzling outside. He heard her voice, rather sharp and hard.
“I’m going out, Smith.”
“Oh, mais il pleut, milady!” That anxious little Smith! so fearful of
and for her mistress!
“I am going out, Smith. To send a wire.”
And he saw the sharp and dangerous gesture with which Virginia cut short
poor little Smith’s cry that she could send the wire. “Mais il pleut,
milady!”
“But I wish to send it myself! No more now. You can come with me if
you like.... No, I can’t wait for the car. And I want to walk. Good God,
why shouldn’t I walk just for once!” The sudden and sweeping impatience!
“Oh, milady, milady!”
And he saw Virginia walking. Long swift strides through the drizzle
towards the Post Office in Knightsbridge. She wanted to send it herself!
It was an idea.... Oh, he knew, he knew! He saw everything—he saw
Virginia’s heart! She wanted to send that wire herself! Ivor would
know....
And the anxious little Smith trotting along just behind her,
breathlessly. “Oh, milady, milady!” Holding up an umbrella in front of
her, trying to cover Virginia with it, panting a little after those
swift Virginian strides. Never in her life had Virginia walked under an
umbrella, you couldn’t conceive it! Always she had been just ahead of an
umbrella, just outside it, and someone panting, laughing, crying behind
her. Not an umbrella-woman, Virginia.... Striding towards Knightsbridge
with set white face, so determined, heroically set. But she was heroic!
Eyes straight ahead—a soldier’s eyes, fearless eyes! Those curious eyes
that could make molehills out of mountains—Ah, why had he never thought
of that before? And agonised little Smith in her blue waterproof,
panting behind with her umbrella inclined forwards. “Oh, milady,
milady!”
And then she had sent that first wire. Those two words: “Come back.”
Everything was in those two words—imperious and humble, ashamed and
forgiving—and so generous! Everything of Virginia and of love was in
those two quick words—and he hadn’t seen it! He hadn’t seen Virginia’s
heart, that lovely and mysterious heart! He had been like a swine before
the two pearls in that wire. He just hadn’t seen! And then she had gone
back home, maybe not so swiftly; and happily—oh, yes, happily! He could
see the light in her eyes as she walked back home, not so swiftly: the
merry light in Virginia’s eyes—trusting Ivor! He would come back
quickly. And little Smith had been glad.... But he hadn’t gone. And when
she had got back to the “mausoleum,” she had shivered a little from the
damp, and was soon in bed with a chill: quite slight at first, “Oh, very
minor!” but quick to feed on Virginia’s so weak health, terribly quick
and wanton in its fierceness: and to her lungs, easily.... And he had
not gone. My God, he had not gone!
And then that second wire—5.45 yesterday! Virginia had waited all day,
growing worse all day. She had waited for him. And at last—at 5.30,
say!—she had commanded Smith to send that wire: “Please....” And she
had commanded Smith on pain of death to say nothing of her being ill.
“Just write ‘Please come back.’” Weaker and weaker every minute, the
chill in her lungs—poor Virginia, brave Virginia! “Oh, milady,
milady!” Pitiful at last! Dying ... maybe she knew she was dying when
she told Smith to send that wire, maybe she was at last seeing the
“dead-end” of her fears—and no Ivor in the “dead-end” this time! Ah,
she was fey, this Virginia. He had always known.... And how he had
started to run this morning—ages ago! He had known something. “Please,”
she had said. And now in his ears.... And he had wanted everything! He!
“And haven’t I given you everything, Ivor?” she softly asked. He heard
her.... How she would say, “Ivor!” telling him that the name pleased her
heart.... Funny Virginia, she was so mysterious.... Every woman has a
legend, there is a legend to every woman.... His was a terrible crime.
From a silly, trivial thing this crime had been born, but it was a
terrible crime. He had killed Virginia, ... he had closed the reckless
light in Virginia’s eyes. The brave and hazardous eyes ... of white
Virginia! But why did he see her, think of her, as white? And his mind
searched furiously, and at last his mind found a dream in which was a
column of marble.... Oh, yes, that funny dream! and the naked white
figure clinging to that column, so white she looked up there, clinging
to it with white arms and legs, and destroying it with kisses.... That
dream had given him Virginia and him to Virginia. And as he walked
headlong up the roads of Berkshire he dreamed that dream again.
The first shock Turner received that day was on seeing a tall figure
approaching from Hungerford. “Well!” he thought. Turner and luggage were
in the Nasyngton grocer’s cart on their way to the station.
“’Ere, pull up!” he said to the man. “’E’s coming the wrong way.”
“Coming quick, whichever way!” murmured the Nasyngton grocer.
And the figure was coming quick! As he approached them, drawn up at the
side of the road, Turner cried, “I say, sir!” But though he cried “I
say, sir!” twice more, the figure passed them without stopping. The
figure certainly glanced at them, but seemed to see or hear nothing.
“Balmy,” said the Nasyngton grocer. And the figure strode on, his hat
swinging furiously from his one hand. Turner took off his Derby and
scratched his head.
“Right about turn,” he said at last, patiently.
The old nag wheeled slowly round, and ambled after the figure with the
waving right arm.
“’E looks dark,” commented the Nasyngton grocer.
Turner was perturbed.
“Like the Wandering Jew,” he said softly. “No less....” And Turner
whistled softly, patiently.
The Nasyngton grocer’s horse was old and unused to hurrying: it did not
hurry now; and the striding figure of his master was soon lost to
Turner’s solicitous eye round a bend.
But when he reached the house he was offended to find no one there.
“Well!” Turner muttered. Whereupon the Nasyngton grocer thought fit to
ask a question.
“Oh, go ’ome!’ said Turner sharply. Then he waited for a long time. And
he got bored to death; for there was nothing for him to do about the
house, he didn’t know whether they were to stay or go to London.
“’Anging about!” he muttered. Turner, like his master, liked to know
where he was; and now he wasn’t anywhere, unless being between
Nasyngton and London and going without lunch was being somewhere.
He waited for hours; it was after two o’clock, and he was hungry; and,
examining the kitchen, he found half a loaf of bread and one egg.
“Scramble it!” he mimicked viciously. He boiled it.... And then Turner
had a curious feeling: he felt that he didn’t belong to this Nasyngton
house to-day, he belonged to Upper Brook Street, where he would have
been this moment but for having said “Right about turn.” And so, having
that curious feeling, Turner stood on the front door steps and smoked a
cigarette. He stared at the Kennet. It was still, placid. “Nothing
rising.” ...
And then he had to throw his cigarette away—for round the corner of the
drive strode a dark figure. Right at him.... Turner was shocked. “Talk
about sweat!” he said later to Mrs. Hope. His master’s face glistened
with it, it dripped from him; if he had been wearing a hard collar it
would have melted; his dark hair was all over the place, and there was a
dry, red rim around his eyes as though he had been in a great wind.
Turner pulled himself together and took a letter out of his pocket. It
was addressed in pencil, and he had great hopes of that letter.
“Letter, sir,” he muttered. “Came just after you left this——”
The dark figure was gone into the house.
In the sitting-room Ivor looked at the letter. That pencilled scrawl, so
careless always—so much more careless on this envelope, so faint! But
how? He stared at it.... Dear God, she had written it in bed yesterday,
just in case he might not come! Fearing.... Forgiving him, humbling
herself. And then, for the first time, he gave a sob. He knew everything
that was in that letter, every word. Her lips were by his ear, telling
him the words of that letter. “I’m sorry to have been a beast, Ivor, I’m
so sorry. Everything is all right, Ivor, everything. I’m so sorry I hurt
you ... only, you see, you aren’t casual enough.... Keep your eyebrows
straight for me, my darling, don’t bring them down into the darkness. Be
a little more casual, Ivor....” Oh! he not casual enough!... And it
was impossible for him to open that thin envelope crushed in his hand.
Turner tiptoed to the door of the sitting-room. He had heard that sob,
and was amazed and afraid. And then Turner saw a strange thing. He saw a
one-armed man without resource in his mind trying to tear across an
unopened envelope. The one-armed man had his knee up to and pressed
against the edge of the table, and under the knee was half the envelope,
and his fingers were childishly tearing at the other half; and at last
the other half came away in his fingers.... Then eyes looked at Turner
at the door; and Turner ran away.
“Like a lot of mad babies crying in a man’s inside,” he tried to explain
that look to Mrs. Hope.