The log fire burnt cheerily on the
wide hearth, hissing and crackling every now and then, and
sending showers of sparks dancing up the chimney; casting
flickering shadows on the low ceiling, and sportively throwing
little dots and rims of light from one to the other of Betty
Sibley’s cherished treasures of crockery ware. But
Betty herself looked very serious as she sat leaning forward in
her arm-chair, her bony elbows resting on her knees, her pointed
chin supported by her hands, her beady black eyes roving from one
to the other of her two visitors.
They sat on the opposite side of the hearth. One a
portly, middle-aged woman with a white apron much in evidence,
and a little shawl crossed over her shoulders. The strings
of her very flat straw bonnet were untied and thrown back, an
infallible token of perturbation of mind in the class to which
she belonged, her large fat hands tightly clasped together on the
top of her apron, her woebegone face with its lack-lustre eyes and
loosely-dropping lower lip, the very picture of helpless
despondency. Close beside her, on the extreme edge of his
chair, sat a young man sufficiently like her to be recognisable
as her son, but with considerably more intelligence in his
face—intelligence dashed at this moment by a marked
expression of sullenness.
“Well, Aunt Betty, if you can’t help us, I’m
sure I can’t think whatever we be to do. You was
always so clever—they do say down yonder in village there
bain’t nothing as Betty Sibley haven’t got some way
o’ gettin’ round. She can very nigh make the
dead alive again.”
“Nay now, I never went so far as that,” said old
Betty, throwing herself back in her chair. “But
I’ve brought back them as has gone to the New House just
for a minute like to ax a question. Sometimes the end comes
so suddent there bain’t no time for things to get settled
as they should be settled, and as them as is gone ud’ wish
to have them settled—well, then, there’s ways
o’ makin’ them come back.”
“Lor!” ejaculated Kate Hardy under her breath,
looking in awe at her distinguished relative.
“’Ees, my dear, you mid be sure o’
that. D’ye mind when poor Jane Arnold was took off
wi’ an impression on her chest—not so much time as to
say where she’d like to be buried? Well, ye know, her
daughter Mary was terrible upset. She know’d her
mother had a lovely set o’ silver spoons put away safe
somewhere, what was to be hers as she did tell her many a time
when she was livin’, but not so much as one o’ them
could she find; and Tom, the brother—a very rough fellow
was Tom—gived her a week to put all to rights in the house
and to pack up and go. Him and his missus didn’t get
on at all with Mary. So poor Mary did come to I, the tears
a-streaming down her face. ‘Mrs. Sibley,’ says
she, ‘I don’t know what I’ll do without
you’ll help me. I’ve lost my dear
mother,’ she says, a-sobbin’ and a-cryin’ fit
to break her heart, ‘and now it do really seem as if I was
to lose the spoons too.”
“Eh—h—h, dear, dear,” groaned Mrs.
Hardy sympathetically.
“’E—es, my dear, it ’ud ha’
melted a heart o’ stone I do assure ye. So, I gived
her summat and I did tell her what to say—”
Here the young man who had been sitting moodily twirling his
thumbs, only changing his position once or twice to kick the
burning logs with the heel of his hob-nailed boot when the
flames sunk low, looked up suddenly with an expression of
interest.
“What did ’ee give her?” he asked.
“Never you mind, Jim. It bain’t for
nothin’ o’ that kind as you and your mother be come
here this evenin’: ’tis the livin’ as you wants
to deal wi’.”
“Maybe if I had my will it ’ud be the dead,”
said Jim, kicking savagely at the log.
“Sh—sh—sh,” said his mother
reprovingly. “Don’t ’ee take no notice of
him, Aunt Betty; ’tis the best hearted bwoy in the world,
but there, he be druv’ very nigh distracted at the present
time!”
“Well, Kate, my dear, as I was a-sayin’,”
pursued the sibyl, pointedly addressing herself to the elder of
her visitors, “I did give the poor creatur’ summat,
and that very night about twelve o’clock she did set the
charm to work.”
Jim kicked at the log again, a little nervously, and Kate drew
forward her chair with a grating sound on the tiled floor.
“Jist as the clock did strike one,” went on Betty,
in a sepulchral tone, “the flame o’ the candle did
jump up and then drop down again, and Mary did hear her
mother’s step on the floor.”
Murmurs of admiration mingled with trepidation from
Mrs. Hardy, and a sudden rigidity on Jim’s part.
“There she was, jist as she mid ha’ been in life,
in her Sunday dress an’ little brooch an’ all, Mary
said, an’ a nice clean apron, an’ wi’ a
beautiful fresh colour in her cheeks. She looked at Mary so
reproachful like, the very same, Mary did say, as if she was
axin’ her, ‘Why have ye brought me back?’
Poor Mary did go all white and twittery, an’ she did say:
‘Oh, Mother dear, I’d never ha’ brought you
back from your rest, but just to ax ’ee the one thing:
where did ’ee put the spoons?’ Well, the
figure did stand lookin’ at her so solemn, and then all at
once did rise its hand like this.”
Here Betty pointed upwards, and a dramatic pause ensued.
“Ah,” groaned Mrs. Hardy, “meanin’ to
say as now she’d gone up’ards to glory she
couldn’t be expected to be took up wi’ spoons
an’ sich like.”
“’Twas the very thing as Mary did think herself,
Kate my dear,” responded Betty solemnly. “She
come to I next mornin’, an’ she did say them very
words, but I knowed better; I knowed that there charm what I
gived her was one as never failed. ‘Not at all,
Mary,’ says I. ‘Your mother’s sperrit
warn’t a-tellin’ ’ee nought o’ the
kind. It p’inted up’ards, ye say? Well
then, take my advice an’ go straight home and search the
thatch.’”
“Well, to be sure!” ejaculated her listeners; even
the taciturn Jim was constrained to express some interest.
“Did she find ’em?” he asked quickly.
“I should think she did find ’em, Jim. She
did find every one as safe as anything, tied up in an old
stocking, jist in the very spot what her mother had p’inted
out.”
This climax seemed to impress Jim even more than his mother;
he leaned forward, his great red hands twitching as they rested
one on each knee.
“I d’ ’low, Aunt Betty, if ye could do that,
you could do anythin’. Can’t ye gi’ me
summat as ’ll get the better o’ this here
chap?”
“Well, Jim, I could give ’ee a love charm, but as
you do tell I there’s no gettin’ near your young
lady, I don’t see how you be to indooce her to wear
it.”
“That’s true!” put in Jim’s mother
dolefully. “There, I will say it do seem cruel
hard. They were as good friends I do assure ’ee as a
young man and a young lady need be. They’ve a-bin walkin’—how long have
you an’ Chrissy bin a-walkin’, Jim?”
“Fifteen month,” growled Jim gloomily.
“Ah, fifteen month, Aunt Betty. An’ Chrissy
have a nice bit of money laid by, mind ye. Her father was
as pleasant as could be about it, an’ quite friendly,
an’ the mother too. She did say to I not above a
month ago, I d’ ’low,’ says she, ‘we may
be expectin’ to hear banns give out soon,’ she
says. Well, an now this young good-for-nothin’ chap
must come and whip her up from under my Jim’s very
nose. What she can see in him I can’t think, without
it be his korky jacket. Trooper Willcocks, as
he calls himself—I’d troop him if I had my way.
Why didn’t he stay out at the war then, if he be so set up
about it?”
“Ah, he’s a soldier, is he?” commented Aunt
Betty. “A soldier. Ah, my dear, Jim’s
young lady bain’t the first to run after a red
coat.”
“But he han’t got no more a red coat nor you
have—nothin’ but what they do call korky—as
ugly a colour as ever I see. An’ he bain’t
a-goin’ to stop in the army neither. He bain’t
a proper soldier at all—jist a common chap as they picked
up somewhere and clapped on a horse and sent out.”
“He’s in the yeomanry,” explained
Jim. “He don’t even come from these parts;
he’s home on sick leave, an’ is here visitin’
his uncle, along of his own ’ome bein’ in town and
not so healthy. But he’s no more sick than I
am. I’d like to make him a bit sicker, I know.
Couldn’t ’ee give me a charm for that, Aunt
Betty?”
Betty rubbed her shrivelled hands together, and fixed her
beady eyes meditatively on her great-nephew.
“There mid be things as can be done what mid be things a
body midn’t like doin’,” she said
oracularly. “You know the wax image—but there,
I wouldn’t go for to advise such a thing. The power
as is give us is give us for good, that’s what I do
say. There’s a cure for everything in natur’,
if one but knowed how to find it. Now with
herbs—I’ve often found out wonderful things with
herbs—folks as is troubled wi’ warts and corns could
cure them in a minute if they knowed the right thing. The
worst wart as ever was can be cured by a bit o’
milkwort. Pull it up, root an’ all, d’ye see,
and give ’em a bit every day, pounded wi’ a drop
o’ new milk, an’ when the time comes round that the
plant, if it was growin’ outside, ’ud be dyin’
down, the wart ’ull just wither away—that’s my
notion, d’ye see?”
“But the image,” persevered Jim. “Did
you ever try that? It seems a silly kind o’ thing
too,” he added tentatively. “How could a dumb
image do anything good or ill?”
“Hush—sh—sh, my dear, ye don’t know
nothin’ about them things,” put in Mrs. Hardy with
apologetic haste. “But they was known an’ tried
by others afore ye was born. Ye make an image in the
likeness of the person as you know is trying to do you harm, and
ye put it down to roast at a slow fire. Dear yes,
I’ve often heard of it.”
“Well, then ye don’t seem to have heard the rights
on it,” interposed Aunt Betty, indignant at this
encroachment on her peculiar province. “There’s
a deal more to be done than just set it down to roast
same’s a chicken.”
“Then what must ye do?” inquired Kate in
awe-struck tones. “Ah,” seized by a sudden
thought, “I can mind it now. Ye must stick the image
full of pins first.”
“That’s it?” said old Betty, nodding
reluctantly. “But there’s more than that
too. There’s summat as must be
said.”
“I never heerd tell o’ nothin bein’ said,
an’ I can mind my cousin Lizzie castin’ a spell over
her step-mother wi’ an image like that, an’ she were
took wi’ the rheumatiz the next week an’ never looked
up arter.”
“’Twarn’t on account of the spell then if
she didn’t say nothin’,” retorted Betty
contemptuously. “No spell would ever work
wi’out the words. Why, did ye never hear tell
o’ saying the Lard’s Prayer back’ards,
beginnin’ with Amen?”
“Lard no! that I didn’t! An’ it
bain’t what I’d like to be doin’, Aunt
Betty.”
“Neither should I, my dear—’tis just what I
be a-tellin’ ’ee. But charm won’t work
wi’out ye do.”
A pause ensued, after which Kate, rising disconsolately and
crooking her arm into her heavy market-basket, remarked that it
was time to be goin’. Jim rose too, and stood
dismally facing his great-aunt.
“If ye like to come back in a few days I’ll get
that love charm ready,” she remarked compassionately.
“Bain’t there no maid as knows her as ye could get to
sew it somewhere about her clothes?”
“No,” retorted Jim sullenly.
“I’ll not try no love charms. I’ll try my
hand at gettin’ rid o’ him first.”
Mother and son trudged away together in gloomy
silence. The early dusk had closed in upon the autumnal
landscape. In the little town they had left behind, lights
were beginning to gleam forth, but before them there was only the
dim glimmer of the wet road to guide them on their way. Now
and then a van passed them, jogging downwards to the town, or a
heavily-laden waggon with the carter slouching alongside, and
growling out Good-night as he went by.
All at once Jim nudged his mother, and pointed with a
trembling finger.
“It’s him,” he whispered hoarsely.
Against the uncertain grey background of the road a
broad-shouldered young figure came swinging into sight, the
outline of the broad-brimmed cavalier hat which marked the yeoman
being plainly perceptible. As he drew near to the couple he
paused, peering through the dusk.
“Hullo, Jim Hardy!” he cried gaily, “any
message for Chrissy? I’m glad to see you walking with
a lady—I’ll tell her you’ve picked up another
sweetheart.”
“Get out with ’ee, do!” cried Mrs. Hardy,
further relieving her lacerated feelings by making a swoop at him
with the market-basket.
Jim,
however, pushed past her, and making a sudden dart at his
supplanter, endeavoured to knock the picturesque hat from his
head. But the yeoman was too quick for him: stepping
swiftly to one side he allowed his assailant’s blow to
expend itself on the empty air, and then closing with him,
tripped him up and laid him neatly on his back in the miry
road.
“Good trick that, ain’t it?” he inquired
pleasantly over his shoulder as he pursued his way.
“Picked it up from the Lancashires.”
Jim lay half stunned for a moment and then struggled up,
foaming at the mouth. He would have rushed in pursuit of
his adversary, but that before he was fairly on his feet his
mother fell upon him, market-basket and all, and held him firmly
embraced until the tantalising sound of Trooper Willcocks’
cheery whistle died away in the distance.
“Well, I tell you what it is,” grumbled the
hapless lover, when he had at last extricated himself.
“We’ll have a try at that there image to-night, or my
name bain’t Jim Hardy.”
That evening accordingly, when the rheumatic old father had
been hustled off to bed, and the younger members of the family
disposed of for the night, Jim confronted his mother, holding a
large slab of bees’ wax in his hand.
“Where be the pins?” he asked in a fierce
whisper.
“Lard, it do make I go all flittery-twittery—folks
do tell such tales! If ’twarn’t for
sayin’ the words, I wouldn’t so much mind. But
there—the notion do make I go quite cold down the
back.”
Meanwhile Jim, kneeling in front of the fire, had melted the
wax sufficiently to make it malleable, and now began to knead and
mould it.
“Here be his legs,” he muttered to himself,
“and now we must make thiccy hat stick out.”
With a kind of groan his mother went over to a chest of
drawers in a corner of the room, and after fumbling for some time
returned with a paper of pins.
“It be very nigh ready,” whispered Jim working
away. “Ugh! I’d like to smash the cheeky face
of ’en.” And with that he gave a fierce poke at
the small knob which did duty for the gallant yeoman’s
countenance.
The figure being completed Mrs. Hardy bent downwards handing
Jim the pins one by one; her son viciously proceeding to insert
as many as the effigy would hold, and beginning by driving a
particularly large and crooked one into the middle of its
chest. The blazing logs threw large grotesque shadows of
the stooping forms of the mother and son upon walls and ceiling,
and when presently Jim held out the bristling little image at
arm’s length, its fantastic reproduction, naturally much
magnified, did indeed appear to bear some weird resemblance to
the person whom it was meant to represent.
“Now then, Mother, say the words,” ordered Jim, as
he set down the figure on the hearth.
“Lard, I dursn’t!” whimpered Mrs.
Hardy. “Say ’em yourself; I don’t wish
the poor young man no ’arm.”
Her son, after casting on her a withering glance, indicative
of supreme scorn at this despicable attempt to shirk
responsibility, began slowly and resolutely to repeat his impious
incantation. By the time he had finished, the miniature
yeoman had considerably diminished in size, the broad-brimmed hat
had toppled to one side, and several of the pins had dropped
out. Jim straightened himself; his face was quite pale and
his brow was wet.
“Get along to bed, Mother,” he remarked, “I
reckon he’ll do now. I d’ ’low Trooper
Willcocks ’ull not feel so very comfortable in the
morning.”
But
lo and behold! though on the following day nothing was left of
the effigy but a sticky indistinguishable mass of wax and pins,
the very first person whom Jim encountered on his way to work was
Trooper Willcocks, apparently in the best of health and
spirits. Jim was downcast, but not yet doubtful. He
would give him a week, he thought; but at the end of the week
Trooper Willcocks looked better than ever, and what was worse,
was more frequently in Chrissy’s company.
The despairing lover next resolved to try a more orthodox
method of removing his obnoxious rival, and called upon the
Rector, to whom he unfolded his case with some difficulty, and
who listened in evident amusement, but not very great
surprise.
“To tell you the truth, Hardy,” he remarked,
throwing himself back in his chair, “you are not the only
sufferer. I think about six men have already come to me on
the very same errand.”
“Six chaps come to ye about Chrissy Baverstock?”
stammered Jim, purple in the face with anguish.
“Not about Chrissy Baverstock—if I remember aright
each had a complaint to make about a different young woman, but
it was always the same man. He must be a redoubtable
fellow, this yeoman of yours.”
“He bain’t none o’ mine,” retorted
Jim, “an’ I can’t think whatever the maids do
see in him. I didn’t know there was more nor
one,” he added reflectively, while a ray of hope seemed to
illuminate his visage.
“I am very sorry for you, but I’m afraid I
can’t help you. You see Willcocks is no parishioner
of mine. And though I have spoken to some of the girls in
question, my words seem to have no effect. Their heads are
turned, I think, by his tales of battles and dangers and
hairbreadth escapes. They make a hero of him. But
console yourself. After all there is safety in
numbers.”
“’Ees,” agreed Jim meditatively.
“If there’s six of us, we ought to be able to do
summat.”
It was late when he left the rectory, and he bent his steps
immediately to a small hostelry in the town, which he
occasionally patronised, but which the condition of his spirits
had not permitted him to frequent of late, dreading as he did the
facetious remarks of his cronies.
On pushing open the swing door, he found himself at once in
the midst of a party of heated disputants, and the first phrase
which greeted his ears revealed that the subject of the
argument was the very one which occupied his own thoughts.
“I d’ ’low I’d knock that there
blasted, broad-brimmed hat off his head so soon as I’d look
at en—and his head too if it comes to that.”
“Ah!” growled another, “I be pure sorry they
Boers haven’t a-done it for en. I can’t believe
they be such good shots as they do say, or they’d ha’
had it off afore now, wi’ their guns and their
cannons. It be always a poppin’ up where it
bain’t wanted.”
“Haw—haw,” chimed in a third voice, “I
d’ ’low Trooper Willcocks’ head were a deal too
nigh Rosie Adlam’s last night to suit ’ee, Tom.
Ah, ’twas a very tender sight, goin’ along by the top
of the hedge—d’you mind, Billy?”
“An’ poor Chrissy Baverstock standin’ all
alone at the corner of the lane, fit to bu’st wi’
jealousy—why that’s Jim Hardy, bain’t it?
We was just a-talkin’ o’ your girl, Jim; ’tis a
pity you weren’t about last night—ye mid ha’
had a chance, for Trooper Willcocks was givin’ Rosie a
turn.”
Jim breathed a benediction, equally applicable to all the
parties in question, and elbowed his way to the front.
“He’s took up wi’ Rosie now, has he?”
he inquired, “’twon’t last—nay,
’twon’t last, sure. She never were fit to hold
a candle to Chrissy.”
Rosie’s discarded young man was still sufficiently
susceptible where she was concerned to be disposed to take up the
cudgels in her defence, and was opening his mouth to make some
angry rejoinder, when he was prevented by the first speaker, who,
removing a long clay pipe from his mouth, and waving it solemnly
in the air, commanded silence.
“Boys,” he said, “this here bain’t no
time for quarrelling. As we was a-sayin’ afore Jim
Hardy come in, summat must be done. It bain’t only
Chrissy and Rosie—it’s every maid in the whole
countryside. So soon as ever that there chap comes in
sight, in his old yaller coat and breeches, and them there
bandaged legs, and cockin’ his hat so knowin’ over
his eye, the maids goes fair silly. I’ve seen it
myself,” he added feelingly.
“Poor Sam!” cried out a voice from the rear.
“What? ye don’t mean to say as your
Mary—”
“Never you mind my Mary,” interrupted Sam loftily,
“the question’s this. This here man’s a
public noosance, and as such must be removed; now, how be we to
remove en?”
“Parson can’t make en shift,”
murmured Tom dolefully.
“I d’ ’low a witch ’ud not have no
power over he,” said Jim, thinking ruefully of his
unsuccessful attempt with the bees’ wax.
“An’ it don’t seem to answer to go
fightin’ of he, neither,” remarked Tom, who had a
very noticeable black eye.
“I was a-wonderin’,” pursued Sam, “if
we couldn’t someways ha’ the law on him. He mid
be run in for trespassin’ maybe, or for makin’ away
wi’ other folks’ property—meanin’ the
maids’ ’earts, do ’ee see? ha! ha!”
“Lard, what a notion!” cried Jim. “Why
the maids theirselves would take his part, sayin’ they
gived ’em to en willin’. That’s no
use. What I say is, Here be six on us, let’s go at en
all together an’ duck en. That ’ud maybe cool
en a bit.”
A young man who had for some time been standing on the
outskirts of the group silently listening, now came forward,
throwing out his hand to command attention. He was a
sharp-featured youth with cunning little eyes and a sly
smile.
“Beg pardon for interrupting,” he began,
“but if you think of callin’ in the aid of the law, I
shall be ’appy to advise ye.”
“Why, ’tis the lawyer chap,” said
Tom. “He ought to know summat; he’s been
apeggin’ away at a desk long enough.”
Mr. Samuel Cross, who had indeed been clerk to the Branston
lawyer for two or three years, and who was occasionally not
averse to giving a little legal advice on his own account,
unknown to his principal, was hailed on the present occasion with
respectful satisfaction. Seating himself on a corner of the
deal table round which the group had gathered, and swinging his
little legs backwards and forwards, he surveyed the party with
twinkling eyes.
“First an’ foremost,” he began,
“your notion, Jim Hardy, must be dismissed at once.
Duck a man who wears the Queen’s uniform? Why the
whole country would be up in arms? Sam’s idea is
better, but I don’t quite see how we could make it
‘trespass,’ nor yet ‘appropriation of
property’. The young ladies, as Jim truly said, the
young ladies would be against us there. We might do
something in the way of ‘undue influence,’
perhaps,” meditatively, “but the best of all would be
a ‘Breach of Prom.’.”
“What’s that?” cried several voices, while
Tom, scratching his head, remarked, “I don’t quite
take ’ee.”
“Why, look ’ere, this chap’s been
making up to six gals at the same time—or perhaps
they’ve bin a-makin’ up to him—anyhow,
whichever way ye put it, every gal in the place is running after
him. Well, he can’t possibly marry them all,
don’t ye see? The thing ’ud be to induce one of
these here disapp’inted gals to threaten to take an action
against him for Breach of Promise of Marriage. Nothing in
the world frightens a man so much as the notion of an action for
‘Breach’.”
The other Sam slapped his thigh and roared with
laughter. “Well done,” he cried.
“Rabbit me, it do take a lawyer to think of they
things.”
The rest, however, looked dubious. Each one thought of
his own sweetheart, and mentally resolved that she should never
be permitted to sacrifice herself for the public weal.
“’Ees,” said Tom hesitatingly, voicing the
general sentiment after a pause. “It do sound right
enough, but the question is—which maid is it to
be?”
“Oh, that’s easily answered,” returned
Cross, waving his pipe airily. “Which is the staidest
an’ ugliest?”
There was a simultaneous outcry; the maidens of Branston and
the neighbourhood were apparently each and all in the flower of youth and
beauty. Sharp words were exchanged, however. Tom,
while defending Rosie from the imputed cast in her eye, took
occasion to animadvert on Mary’s carroty locks, and the
last-named damsel’s admirer nearly came to blows with Jim
on the subject of Chrissy’s age, he asserting that she was
a staid girl, while her lover stoutly declared that she was not
yet five-and-twenty.
Just as the hubbub was at its height, an elderly man, who had
been smoking in silent amusement in the corner of the room,
remarked that if they were on the look-out for an ill-favoured
sort o’ body, a bit on in years, they couldn’t do
better than see what could be made of Anne Clarke of the
“Roebuck”.
“I seed Trooper Willcocks wi’ his arm round her
waist t’other day,” he added. “Him
an’ a couple more young sparks come in for a
glass—and Willcocks had had a drop too much already.
He’d got into the way o’ love-making, d’ye see,
and she was the only maid handy, so he made up to her,
bein’ too far gone to see the difference. If he
didn’t begin palaverin’, an’ tellin’ her
cock-an’-bull stories about his adventures out there at the
war, and how he longed for faymale love an’ sympathy.
His arm
was round her waist, I tell ’ee, before his first pint was
drunk!”
Samuel Cross jumped off the table, his little eyes dancing in
his head. “The very thing,” he cried
rapturously. “Boys, we’ll make a grand job of
this. It will work up to a lovely case. But
Mum’s the word, remember—the game will be spoilt if a
hint of it gets out. Cheer up, lovers all, you’ll get
your sweethearts back, I promise you. If Trooper Willcocks
doesn’t show a clean pair of heels before long, I’m a
Dutchman.”
The Roebuck Inn was a somewhat dreary-looking little hostelry,
about a mile away from the town of Branston. It was
situated in a kind of fold in the downs, a hollow between two
vast undulating tracts of green. A handful of thatched
cottages flanked it, and the river ran so near that the premises
of the Roebuck were regularly flooded once or twice a year when
“the springs rose”.
The landlord of the little tumble-down place took these
visitations very philosophically: indeed it was noticeable that
his spirits were uplifted in proportion to the rising of the
springs, knowing, as he had reason to do, that this watery rising
habitually produced elevation of another kind among his
customers. For when one’s fields are flooded
and one’s spirits damped, one is all the better able to
appreciate an exhilarating glass, particularly when that glass is
partaken of under peculiar and mirth-producing circumstances.
When Billy Clarke’s lower premises were under water, the
topers were forced to migrate upstairs to the biggest bedroom,
and there with a roaring fire in the tiny grate, packed
themselves side by side upon the ancient four-post bed, and amid
uproarious laughter devised every conceivable pretext for sending
cross-grained Anne creaking down the slippery stairs, and
clicking and sliding about on her pattens on the wet tiles
below. The strife between her cupidity and her ill-temper
was an endless source of amusement to her clients; Anne Clarke
would walk a mile for twopence, it was said, but she took it out
in “language”.
The dusk was gathering when Samuel Cross called upon this
damsel, and, though “the water had been out” a few
days before, it had now partially subsided. The
“barton,” to be sure, was still more like a lake than
a farm-yard, and Billy’s two cows, standing knee-deep in a
dark slimy mess which once had been a manure heap of more than
respectable dimensions, looked very forlorn and wretched.
Anne, still clinking about on her pattens, wore a particularly
forbidding expression on her frosty face as she paused on her way
from the clothes-line, a basket of linen poised on her hip, to
return the visitor’s salutation.
“’Tother way to the tap-room,” she added
ungraciously.
“I beg your pardon, Miss Clarke. I come on a very
different matter—a very delicate matter, and one
which nearly concerns you.”
Anne fixed her most tractable eye upon him and considered;
after a few minutes a light appeared to break in on her, and her
face became almost pleasant.
“I d’ ’low ye be the lawyer feller,
bain’t ye? Have ’ee come to say Father or
me’s come in to a legacy?”
“Not exactly that, Miss Clarke, though I shouldn’t
say there wasn’t money in it. You will find, Miss,
that it will be to your advantage to place entire confidence in
me.”
Anne hitched the basket a little higher up on her hip,
assisting the operation by a jerk of her bony knee, and stared
harder than ever; even the unmanageable eye assuming an
expression of lively interest which was positively uncanny.
“What be to do?” she asked breathlessly.
Samuel came closer, laid one hand on the cold, damp,
red arm which encircled the basket, and whispered
mysteriously.
“It concerns your affections, Miss Clarke. Your
woman’s ’eart, what have been cruelly trifled
with.”
“Get out!” returned Miss Clarke succinctly and
fiercely. “Don’t ’ee think ye can come
a-gammonin’ o’ me. I’m up to ye an’
your tricks. Be off this minute, or
I’ll—”
“Now, now, my good lady, be patient,” cried
Samuel, starting back, well out of reach of the basket, which the
irate damsel had lifted suspiciously high. “I have
come here in your interest, I assure you. I have come to
make a suggestion which is entirely to your advantage, and which
will not only avenge your outraged feelin’s, but put money
in your pocket. But you must listen to me—you must
allow me to explain; moreover you must trust in me.”
Anne hitched up her basket again and jerked her thumb in the
direction of the house.
“Will ’ee come in?” she inquired; and
without waiting for a reply led the way through the yard, over a
kind of wooden dam which had been placed across the doorway, and
finally into the damp and deserted tap-room, where an
evil-smelling paraffin lamp was already burning. Having set
down her burden and closed the door, she turned and faced the
lawyer’s clerk.
“Now then, what is it?”
“Miss Clarke,” began Samuel respectfully and
mysteriously, “a rumour has reached me of the villainous
way in which Trooper Willcocks has trifled with your
feelin’s. Now wait a bit, now wait a
bit—” uplifting one hand as Anne was about to make
some wrathful rejoinder. “You’d be quite in the
right to object to my intrudin’ on so delicate a
matter if there weren’t a business side to it, but
ye see there is a business side and that’s what I’ve
come about. There’s woman’s rights as well as
woman’s feelin’s. Ah, if it wasn’t for
that, Miss Clarke, maybe some of us gay young men would find your
sex even more unresistible than we do already. But
the notion of a Breach of Prom., Miss, is enough to steady the
liveliest of us.” He leered at her out of his cunning
little eyes, and continued emphatically: “Maybe you
didn’t know, Miss Clarke, as when a good-for-nothing young
chap same as Trooper Willcocks comes philandering arter a lady
that lady can have the law on him if he goes too far. Now
there’s a strange report in the town what says Trooper
Willcocks’ arm were round your waist t’other night,
Miss Clarke.”
Anne squinted down sideways at the singularly unattractive
portion of her person just alluded to, as though wondering how
Trooper Willcocks’ arm had ever got there; and indeed such
a proceeding indicated an almost sublime degree of courage on the
part of the gallant yeoman.
“’Twas a very tender act,” pursued Cross,
“but a tender act don’t count for nothin’ by
itself without the words are compromisin’. Now, can
you call to mind anythin’ as Trooper Willcocks said,
Miss Clarke?”
“An’ supposin’ I did I’d maybe have no
fancy for repeatin’ of ’em,” retorted the lady
with a faint increase of colour in her sallow cheeks.
“He’d had a drop too much, Trooper Willcocks had, and
he did give I a lot of impidence. I didn’t
take no notice of ’em—he did make I laugh at the time
I d’ ’low, but—”
Cross pricked up his ears. Anne’s admission
denoted that the impression produced by the warrior had been even
greater than he had supposed, for she was not as a rule given to
seeing the humorous side of things.
“’Tis this way, d’ye see,” he said, insinuatingly. “If we can prove as Trooper
Willcocks went beyond a certain p’int in his lovin’
speeches we can take a action again him.”
“An’ what ’ud be the good o’
that?”
“Wait a bit, Miss, wait a bit!” said Samuel,
sawing the air again with his lean forefinger. “We
can take a action again him, as I say, what will force him either
to lead you to the altar or to pay you a substantial sum of money
as damages.”
A slow smile broke over Anne’s ill-favoured face.
“D’ye mean him an’ me ’ud have to get
married?” she inquired.
“Either that or, supposin’ the villain
wasn’t willin’—an’ he is a
villain, Miss Clarke, a low deceivin’
rascal—he’d have to put his hand in his pocket and
fork out, Miss. Either way, d’ye see,
you’d be the gainer. But all depends upon your
memory. Now, in confidence, Miss Clarke, in strict
confidence to a honourable man, tell me, what did Trooper
Willcocks say to you?”
“He called I a beauty two or three times,”
returned Anne, after cogitating for a moment.
“Ah,” said Cross, “a—a nat’ral
remark of course, but not compromising. He said more than
that, I’m sure, Miss Clarke.”
“He said,” she went on, knitting her brows
in the effort to recall the trooper’s blandishments,
“he said he wondered I’d remained single till
now. The bwoys didn’t know what they was about, he
said.”
“That’s more like it!” cried Samuel,
snapping his fingers joyfully. “Let’s follow up
that tack, Miss Clarke, if you please. Did he chance
to say now as he had better taste? That ’ud be
a very likely remark for him to make, ye know. Don’t
you recollect somethin’ of that sort, now?”
“Nay,” said Anne, shaking her head, “I
can’t call to mind as he did. He said as if my eyes
was a pair there wouldn’t be their match in the
country.”
“Depend upon it you’ve made a mistake there,
Miss,” said Cross, leaning forward and speaking with
increased earnestness. “I dessay, bein’ a bit
flurried at the time, you didn’t take reg’lar notice;
but that ’ud be a silly thing for any one to say. You
might be sure his remark really was somethin’ like this:
‘You an’ I should be a pair, Miss; I’ve come to
make a match in the country.’ You see he has
come down to the country, and what more likely than that
he’s come on purpose to find a wife?”
Anne,
fixing her interlocutor with one of the eyes alluded to in the
gallant speech she had quoted, and rubbing her hands together,
began to think it was very likely.
“He—he kissed you, I s’pose, Miss
Clarke?” went on the inquisitor presently. “He!
he! he! ’Tis most unfair to ax such questions,
but—”
“He went for to do it once, but I did smack his face for
’en an’ he didn’t try no more,” put in
Anne a trifle regretfully. “’Twould ha’
been better, I s’pose, if he had?”
“Well, it would have been more compromising, but the
great thing to go on is what he said. Try and
remember that, Miss. He told you about the war an’
how lonesome he was out there, didn’t he? ‘No
lovin’ faymales there,’ he said; so they tell
me.”
“’E-es,” agreed Anne. “He did
say, ‘Little did I think out there on the veldt as I should
so soon have my arm about a little charmer like
you’.”
“Did he?” said Cross eagerly.
“’E-es. ‘Lucky wound,’ says he,
‘to give I this chance!’ An’ he did say
as if he were sent out again I should have to go too, for he
couldn’t never stand the thought of sayin’ good-bye
to I.”
“That ’ull do!” shouted Samuel,
leaping from his chair and positively crowing with glee.
“Now we’ve got him. He said you must go
too—meanin’, of course, as his bride.
That’s enough. Shake hands, Miss Clarke! We
have got him fairly cornered now. Marriage or
money—one or t’other. If I was you I’d go
in for the money, Miss Clarke.”
Anne turned to him with a simper that sent a cold shiver down
his back. “I’m not so sure o’
that,” she said.
“Good Lord,” muttered Cross to himself, “I
wish she’d smile like that at Willcocks. The job
’ud be done then. It ’ud be enough to rout an
army. Well, you leave the matter in my hands,” he
continued aloud. “I’ll pull it through,
you’ll see. You’ll hear from me before long,
Miss Clarke.”
With that he took his leave, and was presently swallowed up in
the darkness without. As he walked he cogitated:—
“I’ve half a mind to let it come to a action after
all; there really seems to be the makin’s of it, and it
’ud give me a lift with the guv’nor. Lord, the
old gal’s a caution. Trooper Willcocks ’ll
shake in his shoes.”
He grinned to himself at the recollection of Anne’s
face, and mimicked her last speech aloud: “‘I’m not
so sure o’ that’. He! he! . . . It
’ud be the best joke ever known in Branston if it did come
off, and the guv’nor ’d make the most of it.
He’s uncommon tightfisted, the guv’nor is,
though”—here his face clouded over—“none
of the profits ’ud come my way I don’t think; best
see what can be made out o’ the other chaps,
p’r’aps. Come, we’ll work it some
way. Blest if I’m going to have my long walk
an’ my long talk for nothin’.”
A very anxious little group gathered round Mr. Cross when he
entered the bar of the Three Choughs.
“Well?” cried Jim Hardy breathlessly.
“Well,” echoed Cross, wagging his head, “I
think we’ve got our gentleman in a tight place, jest
about! There he’ve been triflin’ with that
tender young creetur yonder at the Roebuck that shameful that
she’s determined to bring him to book. Called her his
little charmer, he did—”
Here there was a roar of laughter.
“And invited her to go back to South Africa with
him,” resumed Samuel. “Yes, she’s got a
good case, no doubt o’ that. But the question is, how
far any o’ you ’ull be the better for it?”
“How’s that?” cried Jim, while the other love-sick
swains nudged each other, and murmured indignantly.
“Why, I think she’s fair bent on taking out that
action,” responded their legal adviser, “and that
o’ course will keep him in the neighbourhood. Poor
chap, it ’ull take your young ladies all their time to
console him, I should think.”
The listeners stared at him in blank dismay; he wagged his
head again, very knowingly, and crossed one leg over the
other. “Yes,” he repeated reflectively,
“Anne Clarke has got about as good a case as ever I heard
on, and I advised her to follow it up.”
“You advised her,” shouted Tom indignantly.
“Come, that’s a pretty thing. I thought you was
on our side, Sam’el Cross.”
“A lawyer,” returned Samuel sententiously,
“a lawyer is on the side what pays best; an’ this
here job ought to be good for a rise for me. ’Twill
be but fair that I should share some of the governor’s
pickings, and he’ll make a good thing out of it, you might
be sure.”
“I wouldn’t say that,” said one of the
lovers dolefully. “He be uncommon near, your boss be,
and it do seem ’ard o’ you, Sam’el, to go
a-desertin’ of we, arter leadin’ us on, so to
speak. You could stop Anne Clarke from takin’ out this here
summons or whatever it be, so soon as look at her, couldn’t
’ee now?”
“I dessay I could,” said Cross calmly.
“And if you was to go and threaten Willcocks with the
notion of it, he’d be off like a shot, that’s easy
seen.”
“So ’tis,” agreed the clerk. “I
reckon he’d skip if I was to tell him all that his little
charmer said to-day. He! He!”
“Well then,” said Jim, and
paused—“that’s how it is,” he added
lamely. “The job ’ud be easy done.”
“Jus’ so,” responded Cross. “The
easiest thing in the world. But I’m not for
undertaking no jobs as are not worth my while. Now I might
get rid o’ Trooper Willcocks for a five-pun’ note,
not less.”
A pause of consternation ensued; then Jim Hardy thumped the
table with his fist. “I think it ’ud be easier
and cheaper to break the feller’s boanes straight
off,” he shouted.
Sam extended a forefinger in his direction, “You look
out, Jim! You should know better nor say such things in the
hearin’ o’ them whose dooty it is to uphold the
law. If any harm comes to Trooper Willcocks, I shall be
bound in conscience to give my evidence. Now, gentlemen,
what be all looking so glum for? Five pound ain’t
such a terror! It needn’t be paid in a note if it
comes to that, nor all at the one time. Half within the
week, say, an’ t’other half at the end o’ the
month. I wouldn’t be hard with you, an’ Trooper
Willcocks would certainly be a good riddance.”
They gathered round him again and after much argument, some
laughter, and a good deal of swearing, came to terms with Samuel,
who carried away with him that night a curious document, signed
by half a dozen names, and drawn up entirely to his own
satisfaction.
Trooper Willcocks was swaggering about just outside the church
door on the following Sunday, when he was accosted by Samuel
Cross.
“I was looking for you,” began the latter, drawing
him aside. “I have a word or two to say to you, Mr.
Willcocks.”
“Won’t another day do?” returned the
yeoman. “The service will be over in a few minutes,
and I’m waitin’ for a young lady.”
“Indeed,” said Sam, “might I make so
bold as to inquire if the lady’s name is Miss Anne
Clarke?”
“Anne Clarke,” repeated the trooper vacantly; the
name awakened no response in his memory.
“Why, don’t you know,” cried Sam,
“your little charmer of the Roebuck Inn—a
regular beauty, Mr. Willcocks. Your beauty,
you know. Why I understood you was a-going to take her to
South Africa wi’ you.”
“What the devil are you at?” cried Willcocks
irritably. “What do you mean by talking all that
rubbish to me?”
“No you don’t,” cried Sam, “I’m
not to be put off like that, Trooper Willcocks. I’m
here on behalf of that very lady—if the matter can be
settled private, so much the better; if not, she’s
determined to take it into court.”
A sudden pallor overspread the yeoman’s visage,
perceptible even beneath its tan; he was a soft young fellow in
spite of all his daring, and the very name of the law-courts
terrified him.
“The fact is,” said Cross jovially, “you
haven’t no very clear rec’lection of it, I
dessay—you’re such a one with the ladies aren’t
you? But sometimes a chap goes too far—an’ when
it comes to making a reg’lar proposal of
marriage—you’ll find you’ll have to stick to
it, or else be let in for more than you bargained for.”
“But really,” said the other, almost piteously,
“I’ve no notion at all o’ what you’re
drivin’ at. Who is Anne Clarke, an’ where
did I meet her?”
Sam drew nearer and button-holed him confidentially.
“You know the Roebuck Inn, over the downs yonder?
You went there last Toosday with one or two
friends—an’ you carried on fearful with the old
man’s daughter—a beauty, I tell ye. You was a
bit on at the time, but you must remember.”
“I remember goin’ there,” admitted
Willcocks, “but I can’t call to mind no young
gal.”
“That’s a pity,” returned Sam.
“She knows all about you, I can tell you, and she have it
settled in her own mind to consult our guv’nor to-morrow,
without you come to some amicable arrangement first.
‘Money or Matrimony,’ says she.”
“Matrimony?” ejaculated Willcocks, his jaw
dropping.
“Ye-es, matrimony,” repeated Sam, darting a
sidelong glance at his victim, and meditatively scratching his
jaw. “I rather think the lady’s fancy is set
that way. You should ha’ seen her smile when we
talked on it.”
“What in the name of fortun’ am I to do?”
inquired the yeoman, with a helpless glance; a mouse
might as profitably have appealed to the cat in whose claws it
found itself.
“The folks are comin’ out o’ church
now,” cried Cross eagerly. “Just you step in
under this here archway, Trooper, an’ look out cautious,
but keep out o’ sight yourself. I shouldn’t
wonder if Miss Clarke was here—I’ll p’int her
out to you.”
The distracted yeoman obeyed, and presently a stream of people
issued from the porch on the opposite side of the road, breaking
up for the most part into little knots of twos and threes, though
a few figures made their way homewards unescorted. While
anxiously on the look out for the mysterious damsel of the
Roebuck, Trooper Willcocks witnessed one or two little episodes
which filled him with rage and mortification. Pretty
Chrissy Baverstock, for instance, after loitering on the steps
for quite five minutes, craning a slender neck and tossing her
fair curls, was accosted by a bluff-looking labouring fellow, Jim
Hardy in fact, who, after a few minutes’ parley, drew her
arm through his, and walked away with her. Rosy-cheeked
Mary Miles went through the same preliminary period of waiting
and head-tossing, but departed alone, her handkerchief to her
eyes. The over-soft heart of Trooper Willcocks
was wrung within him at the sight.
But now Samuel Cross recalled his wandering attention by an
admonitory dig: “That’s her,” he murmured.
Willcocks peered cautiously out and presently drew his head
inwards with a jerk, his face as white as ashes.
“That one,” he gasped. “That old,
skinny, squinting—good Lord, surely I never said anything
in the way o’ sweetheartin’ to her.”
“You only axed her to marry you—before
witnesses,” returned the implacable Samuel.
“There’s no way out of it, man. She’ll
have the law on you without you lead her to the altar.”
“I was awful far gone on Toosday night I
remember,” groaned the luckless yeoman, wiping a clammy
brow. “But a man shouldn’t be held accountable
for what he says when he’s that way.”
“Lor’ bless you,” returned Cross cheerfully,
“the law don’t take no account of such excuses.
You weren’t incapable, you see; you was able to walk about,
an’ put your arm round her waist an’ that.”
“Ugh! I must ha’ been far gone.”
“I don’t know about that. Says you,
‘My beauty,’ says you, ‘my little charmer, you
an’ me must be a pair,’ says you; ‘I’ve
come to the country to look for my match,’ says
you.’”
“I couldn’t have said that,” interrupted
Willcocks. “’Tisn’t true to begin
with. I am going out to the front in a few
weeks.”
“Ah,” commented Sam, “you told her that,
an’ you asked her to go back with you.”
“But hang it, man, the thing’s
impossible—ridiculous.”
“Ridiculous! I should just think it was.
You’ll be the laughin’-stock of the
countryside! What will Chrissy Baverstock
say—an’ Mary an’ Rosie, an’ the rest of
them, and all their fellows when it comes out in court? And
it certainly will, without you marry her.”
“Good Lord,” cried poor Willcocks, now quite
unnerved, “is there no way out of it? Look here, I
know you’re a good chap—I—I’d make it
worth your while. I’ve got a few pounds.
Couldn’t you just—just hush it up?”
Sam pursed up his mouth into whistling form.
“It might be done—but it’s a bit
dangerous,” he said dubiously. “If my governor
was to get on the scent—but there, I’ll try and keep
him off it, and if you’ll hand over them few pounds, I
dessay I could stop old Anne Clarke’s mouth.”
“And what—what must I do?” queried
the trooper, his teeth chattering in his head.
“Cut,” said Sam briefly. “Cut off
home, an’ never let yourself be seen in this part of the
country again—else as sure as I’m alive, Anne Clarke
will have you!”
* *
* * *
There was jubilee and surprise in Branston on the following
day when it became known, through the medium of Mr. Samuel Cross,
that Trooper Willcocks had flown; and many were the surmises
among the uninitiated as to the cause of his sudden
departure. Some opined that he had been ordered again to
the front, others that he was engaged to a young lady at
Capetown. Anne Clarke became a trifle more sour as to face,
and short as to temper than before, but whatever means the
lawyer’s clerk employed for stopping her mouth, it is
certain that Trooper Willcocks’ few pounds never found
their way to her pocket.