Parodies of the Works of English and American Authors, Vol. One

About this eBook

Compiler

Hamilton, Walter, 1844-1899

Title

Parodies of the works of English & American authors, vol. I

Credits

Produced by Chris Curnow, Jane Robins and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images generously made available by The Internet Archive)

Language

English

LoC Class

PN: Language and Literatures: Literature: General, Criticism, Collections

Subject

Parodies

Category

Text

Project Gutenberg

eBook-No. 62396

Release Date

June 14, 2020

Copyright

Public domain in the USA.

Contents

1. 1.PARODIES OF THE WORKS OF ENGLISH & AMERICAN AUTHORS ,
2. 2.PREFACE.
3. 3.INDEX.
4. 4.PARODIES OF THE WORKS OF ENGLISH & AMERICAN AUTHORS ,
5. 5.INTRODUCTION.
6. 6.Alfred Tennyson. — T IMBUCTOO. —P ART I. — O RIANA. — M ARIANA. — T HE W EDDING D RESS . — C AROLINE. — T HE L AUREATE . — T HE M ERMAID . — T HE P OET ( OF THE P ERIOD ). — M ATRIMONIAL E XPEDIENCY . — M AUD. — T HE W HITEBAIT -E ATERS . — C HORIC S ONG. — A D REAM OF F AIR W OMEN . — An Extract from the original M ARGARET . — M ARY A NN . — T HE B ITER B IT . — T HE M AY Q UEEN C ORRECTED —May, 1879. — C ARTED A WAY. — T HE M AY OF THE Q UEEN . — T HE P LAY K ING . — A M EDLEY FOR M ONDAY . — V OYAGE DE G UILLAUME .—A F RAGMENT . — T HE M ODERN L ADY G ODIVA . — B REAK , B REAK , B REAK . — T O M Y S COUT . — T HE B ATHER'S D IRGE . — T HE M USICAL P ITCH . — T ENNYSON AT B ILLINGSGATE IN 1882. — B ACCHANALIAN D REAMINGS. — T HE N EW Œ NONE .—A N E PIC F RAGMENT . — T HE B OW S TREET G RANGE . — T HE B ALLAD OF B OREÄNA . — T ENNYSON'S The Palace of Art , commences thus:— — T HE P ALACE OF A RT . — THE QUEEN OF THE FÊTE. — E LECTIONS ' E VE ! — A D REAM OF F AIR W OMEN . — T HE L AY OF THE L OVE L ORN . — V AUXHALL. — A C HARACTER. — R ICHMOND , 1856. — M AUD IN THE G ARDEN . — A NTI -M AUD .
7. 7.T HE L AST P EER . — B ARON A LFRED V ERE DE V ERE . — H OME THEY B ROUGHT . — T HE R ECOGNITION . — I N I MMEMORIAM. — A F AREWELL. — A F AREWELL. — O DE TO A LDGATE P UMP . — T HE U NDERGRAD . — T HE T INKER . — T HE R INKER — C HARGE OF THE L IGHT (I RISH ) B RIGADE . — L INES SENT TO THE LATE C HARLES B UXTON , M.P., WITH MY FAVOURITE HUNTER , W HITE -M IST. — I N THE S CHOOLS AT O XFORD . TO AN EXAMINER . — A W ELCOME TO A LEXANDRA . — B RITANNIA'S W ELCOME TO THE I LLUSTRIOUS S TRANGER . — T HE I NSTITUTION OF M ECHANICAL E NGINEERS . — T HE T WO H UNDRED . — "T HE H ALF H UNDRED " ( OF C OALS ). — T HE D OCTOR'S H EAVY B RIGADE . — L'E NVOY. — T HE C HARGE OF THE B LACK B RIGADE . [3] — A T THE M AGDALEN G ROUND . — C HARGE OF THE F AIR B RIGADE . — T HE C HARGE OF THE "B USTLE ." — O UR B OYS . — T HE C HARGE OF THE "R AD. " B RIGADE. — A L AY OF THE L AW C OURTS . — T HE L ATEST C HARGE . — T HE R EVENGE . — R ETRIBUTION —A XIX TH C ENTURY B ALLAD OF THE S LOE . — SLOPS ALL ROUND! — D RINKS ALL R OUND . — T HE L AUREATE'S L AST L YRIC ; OR , N ORTHAMPTON ' F REEMEN . — S IR E GGNOGG . — T HE P LAYERS . — 1865-1866. — A P ARODY , — "T HE V ICTIM ." — T HE T HREE C OURSES OF A CHILLES . — UNFORTUNATE MISS BAILEY. — In Memoriam. — P UNCH TO S ALISBURY . — T HE R INKER'S S OLACE . — B EHIND T IME. — A L AUREATE'S L OG . — C OUSIN A MY'S V IEW .
8. 8.SPECIMENS OF MODERN POETS. — T HE H EPTALOGIA; OR , T HE S EVEN AGAINST S ENSE . A C AP WITH S EVEN B ELLS . — T HE C HARGE OF THE L IGHT B RIGADE . — T HE C HARGE OF THE G OWNSMEN . — "T HE C HARGE OF THE L IGHT B ALLET ." — T RAGIC E PISODE IN AN O MNIBUS . — T HE L AUREATE IN P ARLIAMENT . — A D REAM OF Q UEER W OMEN . — A D REAM OF F AIR W OMEN AND O THERS . — A D REAM OF F AIR W OMEN . — T HE L AY OF THE S EVENTH T OURNAMENT . — T HE B ACHELOR'S R ETURN . — T IT FOR T AT . — T HE C LERK . — T HE B UGLE S ONG . — S ONG OF THE I RWELL . — THE BAGGAGE MAN. — H ARD T IMES . — THE SPITEFUL LETTER. — F ROM A..... N S...... E . — F ROM W.. T W.. TM .. N . — S ONG OF THE U NSUCCESSFUL S TOCK E XCHANGE S PECULATOR — T HE L AWYER'S S OLILOQUY . — A T ENNYSONIAN L YRIC . — T HE E XCURSION T RAIN . — T HE M INISTERS AT G REENWICH . — T HE A MIABLE D UN . — M R . C HARLES S TEWART C ALVERLEY .
9. 9.H. W. Longfellow. — A P SALM OF L IFE A SSURANCE . — T HE P SALM OF F ICTION . — M ISS M. TO M R . G REEN . — B ACHELOR'S L IFE. — T HE M AIDEN'S D REAM OF L IFE . — O N C AMPBELL'S " Lives of the Chancellors ." — THE MONTHLY PARODIES. — L ONGFELLOW. — A N OBLE A MBITION . — T HE L IBERAL P SALM OF L IFE . — A P SALM OF L IFE AT S IXTY . — T O M Y S COUT AT B REAKFAST . — A F RAGMENT. — B EWARE ! — "T AKE C ARE ." — B EWARE ! — B EWARE ! — T HE V ILLAGE B LACKSMITH . — T HE V ILLAGE B LACKSMITH AS HE IS . — T HE N IGHT P OLICEMAN . — T HE V ILLAGE G ROG S HOP . — T HE E NGLISH J UDGE . — T HE V ILLAGE B EAUTY . — T HE B RITISH M. P. — T HE V ILLAGE P AX . — T HE V ILLAGE W OODMAN . — H IAWATHA. — A POLOGY FOR THERE BEING NO P REFACE . — THE SONG OF DROP O' WATHER. — I. D ROP O ' W ATHER'S C HILDHOOD . — II. D ROP O ' W ATHER AND P UDGY -W HEEZY . — XIII. D ROP O ' W ATHER'S D EPARTURE . — S ONG OF I N - THE -W ATER . — S ONG OF L OWER -W ATER . — T HE W ALLFLOWERS . — T HE S ONG OF N ICOTINE . — T HE B UMP S UPPER . — T HE L EGEND OF K EN-E-LI . — T HE S ONG OF THE B EETLE . — T HE H UNTING OF C ETEWAYO . — H IAWATHA'S P HOTOGRAPHING . — T HE L AWN -T ENNIS P ARTY AT P EPPERHANGER . — T HE S ONG OF H IAWATHA . — S HORTFELLOW SUMS UP L ONGFELLOW . — T HE W AGNER F ESTIVAL. — E XCELSIOR. — E XCELSIOR IN "P IDGIN E NGLISH ." — T OPSIDE G ALAH ! — E XEXOLOR. — T HE T HEATRE . — E XCELSIOR. — "C LEAN Y OUR D OOR-STEP , M ARM ?" — Y E M AYDEN AND Y E E GGE . — T HOSE H ORRID S CHOOLS . — T HAT T HIRTY-FOUR . — TOBACCO SMOKE! — "O BSTRUCTIONISTS. " — E NDYMION. — A "C OMMON " G RIEVANCE ; OR , O UR O PEN S PACES AND O UR Æ DILES . — 13, C ROSS C HEAPING . — P ILOSAGINE. — O ZOKERIT. — C URFEW. — C LOSE OF THE S EASON. — T HE E ND . — T HE B RIDGE . — T HE B RIDGE (By Longus Socius .) — T HE R INK . — T HE W HITEFRIARGATE B RIDGE. — S UNSET. — T HE S LAVE'S D REAM . — T HE S WELL'S D REAM ; OR , W HAT HIS H EIR WOULD LIKE TO BRING ABOUT . — S ONG OF THE S ILENT L AND . — S ONG OF THE I RISH L AND ! — T HE N ORMAN B ARON . — T HE R EPENTANT B ARON . — O DE TO T OBACCO. — T HE D ERBY W EEK . — Q UEEN S IGRID THE H AUGHTY . — T HE S AGA OF THE S KATERMAN . — N AUVOO. — T HE S EWING -M ACHINE . — THE SONG OF BIG BEN. — T HE L ORDS . — T HE C OMMONS . — T HE S ONG OF P AHTAHQUAHONG . — P IAMATER. — A P LUMBER. — T HE P OETS ON THE M ARRIAGE WITH A D ECEASED W IFE'S S ISTER B ILL . — D YSPEPSIA. — T HE F ATE OF THE W INTER R IDER . — T HE S ETTLER'S VERSION OF E XCELSIOR . — W HAT IS IN AN A IM . — P ICNIC-ALINE. — T OWN AND G OWN . — A V OICE FROM THE F AR W EST , — S ISTER B EATRICE ( A.D. uncertain).
10. 10.Charles Wolfe. — T HE B URIAL OF S IR J OHN M OORE . — L ES F UNÉRAILLES DE B EAUMANOIR . — O DE ON THE D EATH AND B URIAL OF THE C ONSTITUTION. — LINES, ( AFTER WOLFE ) — "GRAVE SENTIT ARATRUM." — P ARODY ON "T HE B URIAL OF S IR J OHN M OORE ." — T HE F LIGHT OF O'N EILL, THE I NVADER OF C ANADA . — "R UNNING HIM IN ." — T HE M URDER OF "M ACBETH ." — T HE B URIAL OF THE T ITLE , "Q UEEN ." — T HE B URIAL OF THE M ASHER . — N EVER J OHN M OORE ; OR, THE R EJECTED S UITOR . — A F UNERAL AFTER S IR J OHN M OORE'S , F URNISHED BY AN U NDERTAKER .
11. 11.Thomas Hood. — T RIALS AND T ROUBLES OF A T OURIST . — T HE S ONG OF THE S PURT . — T HE D RIPPING S HEET . — S ONG OF THE S HEET . — T HE S ONG OF THE S TREET . — T HE S ONG OF THE S TUMP . — T HE S ONG OF THE F LIRT . — T HE S ONG OF THE W IRE . — T HE S ONG OF L OVE . — T HE S ONG OF THE C RAM . — T HE S LAVE OF THE P EN . — T HE S ONG OF THE S WORD . — T HE S ONG OF A S OT . — T HE S ONG OF "T HE C ASE ." — T HE S ONG OF THE T URK IN 1877. — T HE S ONG OF THE F LIRT . — T HE J ANITOR'S S ONG . — T HE S ONG OF THE S HIRK . — T HE B ROOD ON THE B EARD . — "T HE S ONG OF THE D IRT ." — T HE W AIL OF A P ROOF-READER . — T HE B ITTER C RY ! — I R EMEMBER , I R EMEMBER . — N URSERY R EMINISCENCES . — A R EMINISCENCE. — I R EMEMBER , I R EMEMBER . — T HE B RIDGE OF S IGHS . — O NE M ORE U NFORTUNATE . — T HE H AIR OF THE D EAD . — T HE R INK OF S IGHS . — T HE L AST A PPEAL , 1878. — B OOTS OF S IZE . — T HE S ONG OF THE L INES . — T HE S ONG OF THE D RUNKARD . — T HE S ONG OF "T HE P RICKLY H EAT ." — A BOUT THE W EATHER. — T HE D REAM OF E UGENE A RAM . — T HE F ALL OF THE E MINENT I. — F IRST P RIZE . — S ECOND P RIZE . — A N ICE Y OUNG M AN FOR A S MALL P ARTY . — A F EW W ORDS ON P OETS IN G ENERAL , AND ONE IN P ARTICULAR. — T HE H AUNTED L IMBO .
12. 12.Bret Harte. — P LAIN L ANGUAGE FROM T RUTHFUL J AMES . — T HE H EATHEN P ASS-EE . — A K ISS IN THE D ARK . — T HAT G ERMANY J EW — S T . D ENYS OF F RANCE ( A.D. 272). — T HAT I NFIDEL E ARL ! — F URTHER L ANGUAGE FROM T RUTHFUL J AMES . — R EMARKS ABOUT O THELLO . — T RUTHFUL J AMES'S S ONG OF THE S HIRT . — T HE B LOOMIN ' F LOWER OF R ORTY G ULCH .
13. 13.C. Wolfe's Ode. — A M OONLIGHT F LIT . — T HE B URIAL OF P ANTOMIME . — T HE B URIAL OF P HILIP V AN A RTEVELDE . — T HE B URIAL OF THE B ILLS . — A T ALE OF A T UB .
14. 14.Alfred, Lord Tennyson. — T HE H AYMARKET T HEATRE ON THE O CCASION OF THE R EVIVAL OF A D ULL O LD F IVE-ACT P LAY . — T HE E XILED L ONDONER . — L ORD T OMNODDY IN THE F INAL S CHOOLS . — A F RAGMENT. — AUGUST THE TWELFTH. — M ALA -F IDE T RAVELLERS. — A F RAGMENT —C OMPOSED IN A D REAM . — T HE M.P. ON THE R AILWAY C OMMITTEE . — C IRCUMSTANCE . — C IRCUMSTANCE. — T HE P ALACE OF A RT . — T HE P ALACE OF A RT . — T HE W AR . — I NTO THEM G OWN . [10] — C APTAIN F ALCON OF THE G UARDS . — T HE R USSIAN C ZAR . — L ADY C LARA V ERE DE V ERE ; — L ADY C LARA IN THE S OUTH . — A M AY D REAM OF THE F EMALE E XAMINATION . — M RS . H ENRY F AWCETT ON THE U NIVERSITY E DUCATION OF W OMEN , A PRIL , 1884. — T HE D RAY Q UEEN . — T HE D RAY Q UEEN . — T HE M AY Q UEEN . — T HE S IGHT -S EEING E MPEROR . — T HE P ENGE M YSTERY T RIAL . — T HE W ELSHER'S L AMENT . — T HE M ODERN M AY Q UEEN . — T HE M AY E XAM . — N EW -Y EAR'S E VE . — C ONCLUSION. — T HE P REMIER'S L AMENT . — T HE N EW L ORD M AYOR . — T HE L ORD M AYOR TO THE L ADY M AYORESS . — T HE L AST L ORD M AYOR TO HIS F AVOURITE B EADLE . — T HE E VE OF THE G ENERAL E LECTION . — T ORY L ORD TO D ITTO D ITTO ON THE E VE OF THE I NTRODUCTION OF THE F RANCHISE B ILL INTO THE U PPER H OUSE . — O N THE E VE OF A D EBATE ON THE F RANCHISE B ILL . — T HE P REMIER TO M RS . G LADSTONE . — T HE P ROMISE OF M AY !
15. 15.THE GLOBE THEATRE. — "THE PROMISE OF MAY." — N EITHER R HYME NOR R EASON ; — T HE L AUREATE'S L ATEST . — A D REAM OF G REAT P LAYERS . — T HE L ORD OF B URLEIGH . — T HE F AITHLESS P EELER . — T HE L ORD OF B URLEIGH . — A B URLINGTON H OUSE B ALLAD. — T HE M AY Q UEEN OF 1879, AS SHE MIGHT HAVE BEEN . — T HE N EW U MBRELLA . — P AM U PON THE H EIGHTS . — L ORD B EACONSFIELD AS T ITHONUS . — W HAT L OCKSLEY H ALL S AID B EFORE HE P ASSED HIS O XFORD R ESPONSIONS , — B ATTUE S HOOTING. — G ODIVA. — T HE V OYAGE . — T HE L AY OF THE D RENCHED O NE . — R HYME FOR R OGERS .
16. 16.ENOCH ARDEN, — E NOCH A RDEN — ENOCH'S "HARD 'UN." — A FTER T ENNYSON'S "G RANDMOTHER ." — K EEPING T ERM A FTER C OMMEMORATION . — T HE M AIDEN'S L AMENT . — O UR R IVER (A T ENNYSONIAN I DYLL ). O LD F ATHER T HAMES , loq. — T HE (N ORTH ) B ROOK . — P EERS , I DLE P EERS . — T O AN I MPORTUNATE H OST . — S ONG. — S ONG. — T HE "L IGHT " C AVALIER'S C HARGE . — T HE C HARGE OF THE C OURT B RIGADE . — T HE B ATTLE OF B ARTLEMY'S . — C HARGE OF THE L IGHT B RIGADE . (No. 2.) — O N THE R INK . — H OW A H UNDRED G UESTS M ET T HEIR D EATH . — A W ELCOME TO A LEXANDRA. — O ZOKERIT. — I N M EMORIAM T ECHNICAM . — A N EW C HRISTMAS S ONG . — A N EW R ING. — T HE C OMING M ANNIKIN . — T HE P OET'S B IRTH : A M YSTERY. By the P—t L—te. — M AUD , AND OTHER P OEMS. — Midsummer Madness, — A N E XTRACT ( NOT ) FROM T ENNYSON'S "M AUD ." — G RANNY'S H OUSE . — T HE S QUATTER'S 'B ACCY F AMINE . — T HE V OICE AND THE P IQUE . — T HE P LAINT OF THE P LUMBER AND B UILDER . — S OLO BY THE P LUMBER . — L IBERAL L YRICS . — A L ONG W AY AFTER L ORD T ENNYSON'S "B ROOK ." — T HE T RAIN . — S ONG S UPPOSED TO BE S UNG BY M R . B URNE -J ONES . — C OME INTO "T HE G ARDEN ," M AUD ! — A NGLING IN THE R YE . — A P ARODY. — T EARS , I DLE T EARS . — A N I DYLL OF P HATTE AND L EENE. — T HE P ASSING OF M 'ARTHUR . — G ARNET. — J ACK S PRATT . — T HE L AST H AT L EFT . — T HE C ITY M ONTENEGRO . — R IZPAH , 1883. — D ISGUST : A D RAMATIC M ONOLOGUE . — T HE P OETASTERS : A D RAMATIC C ANTATA .
17. 17.The Reverend Charles Wolfe.
18. 18.PARODIES OF "THE BURIAL OF SIR JOHN MOORE." — T HE D EATH OF THE "C HILDERSES ." — T HE B URIAL OF THE S EASON . — T HE B URIAL OF MY F ELLOW L ODGER'S B ANJO . — T HE F ATE OF G ENERAL G ORDON. — T HE F UNERAL OF O NE M ORE V ICTIM AT M ONTE C ARLO . — T HE B URIAL OF THE D UKE OF W ELLINGTON . — T HE B URIAL OF THE B ACHELOR . — T HE M ARRIAGE OF S IR F REDERICK B OORE . — A V ISIT OF W ORKING M EN TO THE H EALTH E XHIBITION . — T HE R EMOVAL OF THE H OUSE OF L ORDS . — T HE S PINSTER H OUSEHOLDER M ARTYR , OR THE M AN IN P OSSESSION . — T HE M URDER OF A B EETHOVEN S ONATA . — T HE B URIAL OF THE P AUPER . — A M EMBER OF A D EFEATED C RICKET E LEVEN loq. — T HE M ARRIAGE OF S IR J OHN S MITH .
19. 19.Thomas Hood. — T HE S ONG OF THE H ORSE . — T HE S ONG OF THE P OST . — T HE S ONG OF THE D ANCE . — T HE S ONG OF THE S OLDIER'S S HIRT . — T HE S ONG OF THE P EN . — FOOTNOTES:

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