Old English Jest-book, edited by W Carew Hazlitt

About this eBook

Editor

Hazlitt, William Carew, 1834-1913

Title

Shakespeare Jest-Books Reprints of the Early and Very Rare Jest-Books Supposed to Have Been Used by Shakespeare

Credits

Produced by David Edwards and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at www.pgdp.net (This book was produced from scanned images of public domain material from the Google Print project.)

Language

English

LoC Class

PR: Language and Literatures: English literature

Subject

Jestbooks, English

Category

Text

eBook-No.

29821

Project Gutenberg

https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/29821

Release Date

August 27, 2009

Copyright

Public domain in the USA.

Contents

1. 1.Old English Jest-Book.
2. 2.VOL. I.
3. 3.II. — Mery Tales and Quicke Answeres, — FROM THE RARE EDITION OF 1567. — BY — W. CAREW HAZLITT, — OF THE INNER TEMPLE, BARRISTER-AT-LAW.
4. 4.¶ A C. mery Talys.
5. 5.The Table.
6. 6.INTRODUCTION.
7. 7.A C. MERY TALYS. — ¶ Of hym that said there were but two commandementes. i. — ¶ Of the wyfe who lay with her prentys and caused him to beate her husbande disguised in her rayment. ii. — ¶ Of John Adroyns in the dyuyls apparell. iii. — ¶ Of the ryche man and his two sonnes. iv. — ¶ Of the cockolde who gained a ring by his iudgment. v. — ¶ Of the scoler that gave his shoes to cloute. vi. — ¶ Of hym that said that a womans tongue was lightest of digestion. vii. — ¶ Of the woman that followed her fourth husbands bere and wept. viii. — ¶ Of the woman that sayd her woer came too late. ix. — ¶ Of the mylner with the golden thombe. [17] x. — ¶ Of the horseman of Irelande that prayde Oconer for to hange up the frere. xi. — ¶ Of the preest that sayd nother corpus meus nor corpus meum. xii. — ¶ Of two freres whereof the one loued nat the ele heed nor the other the tayle. xiii. — ¶ Of the welche man that shroue hym for brekynge of hys faste on the fryday. xiv. — ¶ Of the merchaunte of London that dyd put nobles in his mouthe in hys dethe bedde. xv. — ¶ Of the mylner that stale the nuttes of the tayler that stale a shepe. xvi. — ¶ Of the foure elementes where they shoulde sone be founde. xvii. — ¶ Of the woman that poured the potage in the iudges male. xviii. — ¶ Of the wedded men that came to heuen to clayme theyr herytage. xix. — ¶ Of the merchaunte that charged his sonne to fynde one to synge for hys soule. xx. — ¶ Of the mayde wasshynge clothes that answered the frere. xxi. — ¶ Of the thre wyse men of Gotam. xxii. — ¶ Of the graye frere that answered his penytente. xxiii. — ¶ Of the gentylman that bare the sege borde on hys necke. xxiv. — ¶ Of the merchantes wyfe that sayd she wolde take a nap at sermon. xxv. — ¶ Of the woman that said and she lyued another yere she wolde haue a cockoldes hatte of her owne. xxvi. — ¶ Of the gentylman that wysshed his tothe in the gentylwomans tayle. xxvii. — ¶ Of the Welcheman that confessyd hym howe he had slayne a frere. xxviii. — ¶ Of the Welcheman that coude nat gette but a lytell male. xxix. — ¶ Of the gentyll woman that sayde to a gentyll man: ye haue a berde aboue and none benethe. xxx. — ¶ Of the frere that sayde our Lorde fed fyue M. people with iii. fysshys. xxxi. — ¶ Of the frankelyn that wold haue had the frere gone. xxxii. — ¶ Of the prest that sayd Our Lady was not so curyous a woman. xxxiii. — ¶ Of the good man that sayde to his wyfe he had euyll fare. xxxiv. — ¶ Of the frere that had hys chylde make a laten xxxv. — ¶ Of the gentylman that asked the frere for his beuer. xxxvi. — ¶ Of the thre men that chose the woman. xxxvii. — ¶ Of the gentylman that taught his cooke the medycyne for the tothake. xxxviii. — ¶ Of the gentylman that promysed the scoler of Oxforde a sarcanet typet. xxxix. — ¶ Of mayster Skelton that brought the bysshop of Norwiche ii fesauntes. xl. — ¶ Of the yeman of garde that sayd he wolde bete the carter. xli. — ¶ Of the fole that saide he had leuer go to hell than to heuen. xlii. — ¶ Of the plowmannys sonne that sayde he sawe one make a gose to creke sweetly. xliii. — ¶ Of the maydes answere that was with chylde. xliv. — ¶ Of the seruaunt that rymyd with hys mayster. xlv. — ¶ Of the Welcheman that delyuered the letter to the ape. xlvi. — ¶ Of hym that solde ryght nought. xlvii. — ¶ Of the frere that tolde the thre chyldres fortunes. xlviii. — ¶ Of the boy that bare the frere his masters money. xlix. — ¶ Of Phylyp Spencer the bochers man. l. — ¶ Of the courtear and the carter. li. — ¶ Of the yongman that prayd his felow to teche hym hys paternoster. lii. — ¶ Of the frere that prechyd in ryme expownynge the ave maria. liii. — ¶ Of the curat that prechyd the artycles of the Crede. liv. — ¶ Of the frere that prechyd the x commaundementis. lv. — ¶ Of the wyfe that bad her husbande ete the candell fyrste. lvi. — ¶ Of the man of lawes sonnes answer. lvii. — ¶ Of the frere in the pulpet that bad the woman leue her babelynge. lviii. — ¶ Of the Welchman that cast the Scotte into the see. lix. — ¶ Of the man that had the dome wyfe. lx. — ¶ Of the Proctour of Arches that had the lytel wyfe. lxi. — ¶ Of ii nonnes that were shryuen of one preste. lxii. — ¶ Of the esquyer that sholde have ben made knyght. lxiii. — ¶ Of him that wolde gette the maystrye of his wyfe. lxiv. — ¶ Of the penytent that sayd the shepe of God have mercy upon me. lxv. — ¶ Of the husbande that sayd he was John Daw. lxvi. — ¶ Of the scoler of Oxforde that proued by souestry ii chykens iii. lxvii. — ¶ Of the frere that stale the podynge. [114] lxviii. — ¶ Of the frankelyns sonne that cam to take ordres. lxix. — ¶ Of the husbandman that lodgyd the frere in his own bedde. lxx. — ¶ Of the preste that wolde say two gospels for a grote. lxxi. — ¶ Of the coutear that dyd cast the frere ouer the bote. lxxii. — ¶ Of the frere that prechyd what mennys sowles were. lxxiii. — ¶ Of the husbande that cryed ble under the bed. lxxiv. — ¶ Of the shomaker that asked the colyer what tydynges in hell. [119] lxxv. — ¶ Of Seynt Peter that cryed cause bobe. lxxvi. — ¶ Of hym that aduenturyd body and soule for hys prynce. lxxvii. — ¶ Of the parson that stale the mylners elys. lxxviii. — ¶ Of the Welchman that saw one xls. better than God. lxxix. — ¶ Of the frere that said dyryge for the hoggys soule. lxxx. — ¶ Of the parson that sayde masse of requiem for Crystes soul. lxxxi. — ¶ Of the herdeman that sayde: ryde apace, ye shall haue rayn. lxxxii. — ¶ Of hym that sayde: I shall haue nener a peny. lxxxiii. — ¶ Of the husbande that sayde hys wyfe and he agreed well. lxxxiv. — ¶ Of the prest that sayde Comede episcope. lxxxv. — ¶ Of the woman that stale the pot. lxxxvi. — ¶ Of mayster Whyttynton dreme. [134] lxxxvii. — ¶ Of the prest that killed his horse called modicus. lxxxviii. — ¶ Of the Welcheman that stale the Englysshmans cocke. lxxxix. — ¶ Of hym that brought a botell to a preste. xc. — ¶ Of the endytement of Jesu of Nazareth. xci. — ¶ Of the frere that preched agaynst them that rode on the Sonday. xcii. — ¶ Of the one broder that founde a purs. xciii. — ¶ Of the answere of the mastres to the mayde. xciv. — ¶ Of the northern man that was all harte. xcv. — ¶ Of the burnynge of olde John. xcvi. — ¶ Of the courtear that ete the hot custarde. xcvii. — ¶ Of the thre pointes belonging to a shrewd wyfe. xcix. — ¶ Of the man that paynted the lamb upon his wyfes bely. c.
8. 8.ADDITIONAL NOTES AND ILLUSTRATIONS. — A C. MERY TALYS.
9. 9.¶ Tales, and quicke answers, very mery, and pleasant to rede.
10. 10.Mery Tales, Wittie — Questions — and Quicke Answeres, — Very pleasant to be Readde.
11. 11.The Table. — TALES AND QUICKE ANSWERES. — ¶ Of hym that rode out of London and had his seruaunt folowynge on foote. i. — ¶ Of hym that preched on saynt Chrystophers day. ii. — ¶ Of the frenche man, that stroue with the Janway for his armes. iii. — ¶ Of the curate that sayde our Lorde fedde U. C. persons. iiii. — ¶ Of hym that profered his doughter in mariage. v. — ¶ Of them that came to London to bye a Crucifixe. vi. — ¶ Of hym that folowed his wyfe to buryenge. vii. — ¶ Of hym that felle into the fyre. viii. — ¶ Of him that vsed to cal his servant the kinge of foles. ix. — ¶ Of the yonge woman that sorowed so greatly her husbondes deth. x. — ¶ Of him that kissed the mayd with the longe nose. xi. — ¶ The Uplandisshe mans answere, concerninge the steple and pulpit. xii. — ¶ Of the beggers answere to M. Skelton the poete. xiii. — ¶ Of the chaplen, that sayde our lady matens a bed. xiiii. — ¶ Of him that lost his purse in London. xv. — ¶ Of the marchaunt that lost his bodgette betwene Ware and Lon[don]. xvi. — ¶ Of him that was called cuckolde. xvii. — ¶ Of the iolous man. xviii. — ¶ Of the fatte woman that solde frute. xix. — ¶ Of a poller that begyled a prest. xx. — ¶ Of Papirius pretextatus. xxi. — ¶ Of the corrupte man of lawe. xxii. — ¶ Of kynge Lowes of France, and the husbandman. xxiii. — ¶ Of an other picke-thanke, and the same kinge. xxiiii. — ¶ Of Thales the astronomer that fell in a ditch. xxv. — ¶ Of the astronomer that theues robbed. xxvi. — ¶ Of the plough man that sayde his pater noster. xxvii. — ¶ Of him that dreamed he fonde golde. xxviii. — ¶ Of the crakynge yonge gentyll man, that wold ouerthrowe his enmyes a myle of. xxix. — ¶ Of hym that fell of a tre and brake his rybbe. xxx. — ¶ Of the frier that brayde in his sermon. xxxi. — ¶ The oration of the ambassadour sent to Pope Urban. xxxii. — ¶ Of the ambassadour sent to the prince Agis. xxxiii. — ¶ The answere of Cleomenes to the Samiens ambassadour. xxxiiii. — ¶ Of the wyse man Piso and his seruant. xxxv. — ¶ Of the marchant that made a wager with his lord. xxxvi. — ¶ Of the friere that gaue scrowes agaynst the pestilence. xxxvii. — ¶ Of the phisitian, that vsed to write bylles ouer eue. xxxviii. — ¶ Of hym that wolde confesse hym by writinge. xxxix. — ¶ Of the hermite of Padowe. xl. — ¶ Of the Uplandysshe man, that sawe the kynge. xli. — ¶ Of the courtier that bad the boy holde his horse. xlii. — ¶ Of the deceytfull scriuener. xliii. — ¶ Of hym that saide he beleued his wyfe better than other, that she was chaste. xliiii. — ¶ Of hym that payde his dette with crienge bea. xlv. — ¶ Of the woman that appeled fro kyng Philip to kynge Philippe. xlvi. — ¶ Of the olde woman, that prayde for the welfare of the tyrant Denise. xlvii. — ¶ Of the phisitian Eumonus. xlviii. — ¶ Of Socrates and his scoldinge wyfe. xlix. — ¶ Of the phisitian that bare his paciente on honde, he had eaten an asse. l. — ¶ Of the inholders [222] wyfe and her ii louers. li. — ¶ Of hym that healed franticke men. lii. — ¶ Of hym that sayde he was not worthy to open the gate to the kynge. liii. — ¶ Of mayster Uauasour and Turpin his man. liiii. — ¶ Of hym that sought his wyfe agaynst the streme. lv. — ¶ Of hym that at a skyrmyshe defended him with his feet. lvi. — ¶ Of hym that wolde gyue a songe for his dyner. lvii. — ¶ Of the foole that thought hym selfe deed. lviii. — ¶ Of the olde man and his sonne that brought his asse to the towne to sylle. lix. — ¶ Of him that sought his asse and rode on his backe. lx. — ¶ The answere of Fabius to Liuius. lxi. — ¶ The answere of Poltis, the kynge of Thrace, to the Troyan embassadors. [246] lxii. — ¶ The wyse answere of Hanibal to kynge Antiochus, concerninge his ryche armye. lxiii. — ¶ The wordes of Popilius the Romayn embassadour to Antiochus the kynge. lxiiii. — ¶ Of him that loued the marchants wyfe. lxv. — ¶ Of the woman that couerd her heed and shewed her taile. lxvi. — ¶ Howe Alexander was monysshed to slee the fyrste that he mette. lxvii. — ¶ Howe the cite of Lamsac was saued from destruction. lxviii. — ¶ Howe Demosthenes defended a mayde. lxix. — ¶ Of him that desired to be made a gentilman. lxx. — ¶ Of the gentyll man and his shrewde wyfe. lxxi. — ¶ Of the two yonge men that rode to Walsyngham. [258] lxxii. — ¶ Of the yonge man of Bruges, and his spouse. lxxiii. — ¶ Of hym that made as he hadde ben a chaste lyuer. lxxiiii. — ¶ Of hym that the olde roode fell on. lxxv. — ¶ Of the wydow that wolde nat wedde for bodily pleasure. lxxvi. — ¶ Of the couetous ambassodour, that wolde here no musike. lxxvii. — ¶ How Denise the tirant serued a couetous man. lxxix. — ¶ Of the olde man, that quengered [267] the boy oute of the apletree with stones. lxxx. — ¶ Of the ryche man that wolde not haue a glyster. lxxxi. — ¶ Of hym that feyned hym selfe deed to proue what his wyfe wolde do. lxxxii. — ¶ Of the poure man, into whose house theues brake by nyghte. [270] lxxxiii. — ¶ Of hym that shulde haue ben hanged for his scoffynge. lxxxiiii. — ¶ Of hym that had his goose stole. lxxxv. — ¶ Of the begger that sayd he was kyn to kyng Philip of Macedone. lxxxvi. — ¶ Of Dantes answere to the iester. lxxxvii. — ¶ Of hym that had sore eyes. [274] lxxxviii. — ¶ Of the olde woman that had sore eyes. lxxxix. — ¶ Of hym that had the custodi of a warde. xc. — ¶ Of the excellent paynter, that had foule children. xci. — ¶ Of the scoffer that made a man a south sayer. xcii. — ¶ Of the marchaunt of Florence called Charles. xciii. — ¶ Of the chesshire man called Eulyn. xciiii. — ¶ Of him that desired to be set vpon the pillori. xcv. — ¶ Of the wydowes daughter that was sent to the abbot with a couple of capons. xcvi. — ¶ Of the two men, that dranke a pynte of whyte wyne to gether. xcvii. — ¶ Of the doctour that went with the fouler to catche byrdes. xcviii. — ¶ Of hym that vndertoke to teache an asse to rede. xcix. — ¶ Of the fryer that confessed the woman. [287] c. — ¶ Howe a chaplen of Louen deceyued an vsurer. ci. — ¶ Of the same chaplen and one that spited him. cii. — ¶ Of the olde man that put him selfe in his sonnes handes. ciii. — ¶ Of hym that had a flye peynted in his shilde. ciiii. — ¶ Of th' emperour Augustus and the olde men. cv. — ¶ Phocions oration to the Athen[ian]s. [295] cvi. — ¶ Of Demosthenes and Phocion. cvii. — ¶ Of Phocion that refused Alexanders gyfte. cviii. — ¶ Of Denyse the tyranne and his sonne. cix. — ¶ Of Pomponius the Romayne, that was brought before Mithridates. cx. — ¶ Of Titus and the iester. cxi. — ¶ Of Scipio Nasica and Ennius the poete. [297] cxii. — ¶ Of Fabius Minutius and his sonne. cxiii. — ¶ Of Aurelian, that was displeased, bycause the cite Tyna was closed agaynst hym. cxiiii. — ¶ Of the Nunne forced that durst not crie. cxv. — ¶ Of him that sayde he was the Diuelles man. cxvi. — ¶ Of the vplandishe [303] priest, that preached of Charitie. cxvii. — ¶ Another sayinge of the same preest. cxviii. — ¶ Of the fryer that praysed sainct Frauncis. cxix. — ¶ Of hym that warned his wife of wasshynge her face in foule puddell water. cxx. — ¶ Of the husbandman that caused the iudge to geue sentence agaynst him selfe. cxxi. — ¶ Of the Italian friar that shoulde preach before the B. of Rome and his cardinals. cxxii. — ¶ Of the doctour that sayd, in Erasmus workes were heresies. cxxiii. — ¶ Of the frier that preached at Paules crosse agaynst Erasmus. cxxiv. — ¶ Of an other frier that taxed Erasmus for writyng Germana theologia. cxxv. — ¶ Of an other that inueighed agaynst the same Erasmus. cxxvi. — ¶ Of kyng Richarde the iii, and the Northern man. [315] cxxvii. — ¶ Of the Canon and his man. cxxviii — ¶ Of the same Canon and his sayd man. cxxix. — ¶ Of the gentilman that checked hys seruant for talke of ryngyng. cxxx. — ¶ Of the blynde man and his boye. cxxxi. — ¶ Of him that sold two lodes of hey. cxxxii. — ¶ How a mery man deuised to cal people to a playe. cxxxiii. — ¶ How the image of the dyuell was lost and sought. cxxxiiii. — ¶ Of Tachas, kyng of Aegypt, and Agesilaus. cxxxv. — ¶ Of Corar the Rhetorician, and Tisias hys scoler. cxxxvi. — ¶ Of Augustus and Athenodorus the Phylosopher. cxxxvii. — ¶ Of the frenche kyng and the brome seller. [339] cxxxviii. — ¶ An other tale of the same frenche kyng. [340] cxxxix. — ¶ What an Italyan fryer dyd in his preachyng. cxl.
12. 12.ADDITIONAL NOTES AND ILLUSTRATIONS. — MERY TALES AND QUICK ANSWERES. — FOOTNOTES:

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