I joined the detective branch of the Victorian police in 1853, having
just turned twenty-five at the time, standing five feet ten inches in my
stockings, and without an ounce of superfluous flesh on my bones.
Looking back, from a less height now, across the gulf of years, which
has swallowed up many near and dear to me, I mentally see myself the
beau-ideal of what a detective should be.
Our superintendent took stock of me, in his mind's eye, when he saw me
first, and at once gave me some rough-and-tumble work to do (what I call
rough-cast and rubble, having had some knowledge of the building trade);
but when I tumbled I usually came out on the top, with a hard grip of
the fellow below, who was only allowed to get up when I had decorated
him with cuts and a pair of bracelets.
For some months I didn't get a word of praise from the superintendent.
He expected a good deal from me, and I suppose got it. I had worked in
Melbourne and in the country, on foot and on horseback, but I had still
my spurs to win. My chance came through Governor La Trobe, who was a
man, every inch of him.
There was a bushranger at this time who had been painting the country
with blood, and who was more like the devil incarnate than any man I
ever heard of. He was nicknamed "Thunder-and-Lightning"; why I never
knew, but, I suppose, because there was a flash and roar from his Colt's
revolver and his victim lay dead on the ground.
This man, or devil, had committed many murders with tigerish ferocity.
He was the terror of more than one goldfield. Blood-curdling stories
were told of him by the camp fire when the work of the day was done. He
was execrated, and a reward of £500 was offered for his capture. The
regular police did their best, I admit, but any man who was wanted gave
them a wide berth when he saw their rig. They were a uniform failure.
When they were about "Thunder-and-Lightning" took a holiday, and played
round the mountain-tops. Sometimes a splash or crack was seen or heard,
when he was shooting in some almost inaccessible place, where rocks,
trees, and scrub, in about equal proportions, hid him like a needle in a
haystack.
When the police were as sick of him as the whale was of Jonah, they gave
him up.
It was then the Governor took the matter in hand. He was a man who tried
to manage all the Government departments with his own head and ten
fingers, and did it well. Sir Charles heard of me, and said to our
superintendent, when they were talking over the "Thunder-and-Lightning"
case, "Try Wallace."
Now, my name happens to be Wallace, and I was christened William, after
William Wallace the hero of Scotland; a long way after, I grant you, but
there's something in a name, although we fought in different fields.
Next morning the superintendent rang his bell, and told the messenger he
wanted me.
"Shure ye're wanted," said Pat Kineen, the messenger.
"What for?" says I.
"Maybe for robbing a church, or stalin' a purse, or worse, ye thafe o'
the wurrld!"
"Do you know why there are no thieves in your country, Pat?"
"Faith it's becase ye're not there, Mister Wallace."
"No! it's because there's nothing to steal."
"Well!" said Pat, "I'll tell yees what the super wants yees for."
"What?"
"To go afther the biggest thafe of the wurrld. Set a thafe to catch a
thafe. There's a glimmer o' sinse in the ould boy."
I hadn't an answer ready at the moment. I knew I was no match for Pat
with the tongue, for his wit flashed out like summer lightning, and cut
like a Damascus blade. I did not wait for anything further, but knocked
at the superintendent's door and went in.
He took me by storm at once with his hook nose and eagle eyes, and
expected me to quake in my shoes and turn white; but I raked him across
the bows with my two black eyeballs, and he was glad to pull down his
sky-scrapers pretty quick.
"His Excellency the Governor wants to see you, detective, at a quarter
to eleven sharp. Good morning!"
This nearly took the wind out of my sails, but I managed to steady
myself, and said, "Any complaint, sir?"
"No! a great compliment."
I shut the door very softly, and sailed away, feeling rather important,
and never once looking at Pat, who was ready to open fire on me.
When I was outside I glanced at my watch, and found I had five minutes
to spare, so I walked leisurely to the Government offices, which were
then in William Street. Just as I reached the gate the Union Jack was
hoisted, to show that the Governor had arrived.
I told the orderly that I had an appointment with His Excellency, and
gave my name. I was ushered in at once. No red tape to speak of in those
days, only in retail quantities, not wholesale, as now.
His Excellency received me very kindly, and, I believe, would have
shaken hands with me if the aide-de-camp hadn't fixed his glass eye
on him, as much as to say, "It isn't etiquette, you know."
Well, Sir Charles said he had been keeping his eye on me for some time,
had made up his mind that I was the man for Galway, and that he wanted
to entrust me with the most important case that had ever sprung up
during his term of office.
I felt about six feet six for the moment, and expected him to say that
he wanted me to carry secret despatches to Downing Street.
However, I soon learned the kind of despatches he meant. He wanted me to
despatch "Thunder-and-Lightning" to Queer Street, or be despatched
myself to the Golden Street of the New Jerusalem. It did not seem to me
that he cared very much whether we were both despatched, so long as he
made sure of "Thunder-and-Lightning."
I braced myself up when I had taken bearings, and looked steadily at the
Governor. I declare, I thought I saw in one eye Nelson's motto, "England
expects every man to do his duty," and in the other eye the words of
Burns' song, "Scots wha hae wi' Wallace bled."
I felt equal to anything then, and said, "Your Excellency, I pledge you
my solemn word I'll produce the body of 'Thunder-and-Lightning,' dead or
alive, within three months."
"I am glad to hear you say so, detective," he said; "and what is more, I
believe you."
He pulled out of his pocket a sheet of foolscap, which gave a full
description, in his own writing, of the bushranger, his friends and
haunts. Then he showed me the drawing of a house in Collingwood, which
had been sent to him, with the information that it was the exact outline
of a place "Thunder-and-Lightning" was coming to, out of bravado, in a
few days.
I looked at the drawing believing I would recognise it, for I prided
myself on knowing every house frequented by disreputable characters in
Melbourne, and I had daguerreotyped them on my brain.
"I know this house!" I said.
"I see my confidence in you is not misplaced; good morning. The
watchword is 'Down.'"
I saw I was dismissed, so I said, "Good morning, your Excellency," and
went away.
I felt much elated thus to be singled out for such an important duty,
and determined to do or die.
There was a rumour in the air that "Thunder-and-Lightning" was coming to
Melbourne, in his dare-devil way, to give the citizens a taste of his
quality. He had an overweening conceit of himself, and thought he was a
match for all the police in the country.
I went down to the office and reported to the superintendent the duty I
was entrusted with. He gave me carte-blanche; then I went home to
efface myself, which I effectually did by putting on a false beard,
staining my eyebrows, and dressing myself like a digger.
When I had completed my disguise to my entire satisfaction, I felt my
face flush like the red stripe in the French flag, then white like the
next stripe, then I looked very blue indeed. I was a regular chameleon,
and never felt like this before. The cause of all this was the sudden
remembrance of the last words the Governor said to me, "The watchword is
'Down.'" It was a conundrum. I gave it up.
I happened to be lodging in the house of Mrs. Smith, an old widow, whom
I had known in Scotland. I came and went just as I liked, having a key
of the front door. I managed to keep my occupation very dark. When I was
new to the trade I thought of telling the landlady who I was, for she
was a discreet body; but I remembered just in time that women's tongues
are hung on so fine a balance they cannot help wagging and flopping out
any secret—being anxious to unload and take in fresh cargo. If they
have no better listeners, they will whisper to a bird of the air, or the
four winds. I come from too far north to trust a woman with a secret, so
I did not tell Mrs. Smith I was a detective. There is only one woman I
tell secrets to, and that is my wife. If I did not tell her, she would
get them out of me, so I make a virtue of necessity. Confession is good
for the soul.
It began to rain cats and dogs, or more like elephants and rhinoceroses,
for it came down heavy. The street gutters ran like rivers, and joined
each other in the middle of the road, shaking hands, bobbing,
courtesying, and carrying all the floatable rubbish to the Yarra. The
only living things I saw were half a dozen fowls of some sort, splashing
themselves and ducking in the water. The windows were so blurred I could
not make out what they were till I heard them say "Quack!" "A fine day,"
I said to myself, "for ducks, geese, and detectives." The wetter the day
the surer you are of your game. It lies close on such days, and one may
expect a feast of contentment when one knows it is spitted with a broad
arrow on back, hip, or thigh, simmering in the jug—I mean gaol. Jugged
hare, shall we say?
I determined to go out, so I put on an india-rubber coat and boots. I
had never seen a detective with an umbrella, therefore I took one with
me as an extra disguise and crept down stairs. The maid-of-all-work had
stopped halfway, and had a pail in her hand when I came upon her
unawares. She took a hasty glance at me, then fled two steps at a jump,
dropping the pail at the bottom. Then she threw her apron over her head,
and played blindman's-buff, till she lumbered into the kitchen and fell
all of a heap.
I heard Mrs. Smith say, in a voice of alarm, "What is the matter, Mary Ann?"
There was a dead silence; Mary Ann had fainted.
I took steps—down the rest of the stairs—to make myself scarce before
Mary Ann came to, so I shut the door quietly, and marched rapidly up the
street, with my head buried in the umbrella. The wind nearly carried my
beard away, but I held fast, and tacked to the lee side, where I made
good progress. Then I walked up La Trobe Street, and made my way, across
the open space, towards Collingwood.
In a quarter of an hour I was in the neighbourhood of the house I was
looking for, so I called a council of war with myself, and came to a
unanimous decision as to what I should do. I ran a parallel up to the
place, took a flying survey through a little hole in the umbrella, and
passed on; then I twirled the hole round, and took a squint at the other
side of the street. Nearly opposite the house I had looked at was one
with a bill in the window, on which was "House to Let." Just as
Wellington took possession of the house of La Haye Sainte on the Field
of Waterloo, so would I take possession of this empty domicile for
strategic purposes. Two great minds may hit upon the same idea.
I turned into another street, and went down a right-of-way to the back
of the empty house. Fortunately I found the gate open, so I went into
the yard. It was a squalid place, full of water, dreary and wretched in
the extreme. The door was locked, and the windows were latched. Should I
get in at the door or window? As I usually travel by the shortest road,
I thrust my hand through the glass, pulled the catch back, threw the
sash up, put my leg over the sill, then jumped into the room, which was
about twelve feet square. The floor was blotched and greasy, the walls
damp and frowsy, with great strips of paper hanging down at the
ceiling. I shut the window, but left it unfastened, then unlocked the
door, and opened it a few inches to leave a way of retreat in case of
need. If worsted by the enemy (which may happen to the best general),
retreat in good order, like Sir John Moore at Corunna, who was covered
with glory, a mantle, and Westminster Abbey; or if not by the latter, he
ought to have been.
I explored the four rooms, baton in hand—there was not a soul in the
place; then I stood at one of the front windows, a little way back, and
reconnoitred. The rain had ceased. Black masses of cloud were hurrying
up from the south, and clawing at the chimney-pots. The wind howled in
the lum, and whistled through the keyhole. The weatherboard walls
creaked and groaned like a ship's timbers in a gale. The front gate
swung on its one hinge, and grated on the gravel path. Rank weeds filled
the strip of garden, and the paling fence clattered like castanets,
without tune, rhyme, or reason.
I had barely noted what I have set down, when the door of the opposite
house was opened a few inches, and a black eye, like a search-light,
flashed to right and left. Evidently the coast was clear, and the sweep
satisfactory, for the other eye hove in sight, accompanied by a face in
perfect drawing and colouring, such as Sir John Millais or Marcus Stone
loves to paint.
"Sold again!" I said to myself; "this is a lady and no mistake!" I was
just about to beat a retreat, cover up my tracks, destroy my bridges,
burn my boats, or whatever is the appropriate expression, under my
crushing defeat. I ground my teeth with chagrin and hunger. It was
nearly six o'clock, and in another hour it would be dark. I had no
stomach for such work under the unforeseen circumstances that had
developed.
The lady had a basket on her arm, which gave my thoughts a new
direction. She must be on a charitable mission to the reprobate sweep
who lived there, trying to whitewash him with tracts, and sweeten his
life with sugar and tea. "This is the solution of the situation, no
doubt," I thought. I must not desert my post, but watch. Putting my
theory into practice, I glued my eyes on the lady to see what was her
next move. She came out on the step, and furtively peered up and down
the street with an anxious face. First impressions are not always best.
I did not like her looks half so well as I did. She did not improve on
closer inspection. However, everything suffers on a wet day. Beauty does
not count for much, and classical features are nowhere muffled in a hood
and dripping umbrella. Helen of Troy and Cleopatra did not show
themselves on a rainy day.
She pulled a shawl over her head, and hid her face as well as she could,
then shut the door, and walked up the street, glancing over her shoulder
every second or two.
"You are no better than you ought to be," I thought. "Like a fair apple
without, but with rottenness at the heart—a whited sepulchre, with
foulness within. There is some secret here!"
I had changed my mind about her. She was better than her surroundings;
her dress was costlier than the neighbourhood could buy. She was a false
coin, which would not stand the test of a ring.
When she turned the corner of the street I let myself out by the front
door, and followed her, my umbrella acting as a screen. When I reached
the corner of the street she had vanished. There was a public-house a
hundred yards away, into which she might have gone, so I went to it, and
glanced into the bar over the frosted half of the window. A man was
sitting on a barrel, playing on an asthmatical accordion, so wheezy and
broken-winded it could not get through more than three bars of a tune
without a rest. Three men, with pewter pots before them, were thumping
some knotty arguments into a table. The lady wasn't there, evidently, so
I went on, but seeing the private door ajar, I pushed it open a few
inches. A jar suggests a pot of something. I was about to go in when I
pulled myself up, just in time, for the lady was at a little square hole
in the wall which communicated with the bar, and at that moment was
slipping a bottle into her basket. On second thoughts, after watching
for an opportunity, I went into the passage, and then into the parlour
as if I were walking between eggs. The plot was developing. It was
hatching.
In a few minutes the lady had bought what she wanted and went away,
with me at her heels. I nearly trod on her skirt, so eager was I to keep
her in sight. She did not go in the direction of the house she had first
left, but went farther from it, probably to make more purchases. When
she was at a safe distance I followed. There she turned into a shop,
which I knew was a grocer's when I saw some soap boxes on the pavement,
and a swinging sign with a big T and a teapot on it, so that the
lettered might read and the unlettered might see what was sold within. A
grocer's shop is like a salmon basket, having only one way out. Not like
a public-house, whose ways in and out are many and crooked. The lady
must come out sometime, so I could wait. I went into a right-of-way, and
showed about a hair-breadth of my right eye in the direction of the
shop.
When my patience was nearly all jettisoned I heard the sharp ting of a
bell, and the lady came out of the shop. She was coming my way. I
suddenly became absorbed in searching for an imaginary copper, which any
one might suppose I was groping for in the gutter; my back toward the
mouth of the right-of-way, my big body sticking in its gullet, my head
nearly touching the water, while my telescopic eyes watched between my
ankles for the transit of Venus.
When the blood had all run to my head, and my heart was throbbing like a
water-lifter, the lady made her appearance, and gave a start when she
saw me in this extraordinary attitude. She stared and better stared, and
would have looked me out of countenance if there had been more of it
visible. I was in a downright dilemma. When she had satisfied her
curiosity she went on, and I slowly became an upright detective, or as
nearly so as the business will allow.
I reached the end of the right-of-way as quickly as I could, and looked
down the street, expecting to see the woman (I drop the term lady, for I
was beginning to take her down a peg), but did not see her. She could
not have reached the corner at a walking pace. She must have run like
the wind. Perhaps she thought I was a madman, and would chase her.
"All right," I said, "I can run as fast as you," so I stretched myself,
like a piece of india-rubber, and bounded along till I drew myself in at
the corner. She was nowhere to be seen. There wasn't a figure in the
landscape. She was rubbed out of the drawing—erased, by Jove!
I was done! Given away! Sold by a woman!
There was nothing for it now. If I were to stand here gazing about,
perhaps she would be gloating over my defeat from some friendly window,
so I walked away, passing the house I had been watching, and scanning
each window closely. No living thing was visible. I did not stop a
second, did not hesitate, but went straight to the back of the house I
had entered so unceremoniously a short time before. I walked in, feeling
metaphorically like a whipped hound, with ears down and tail between his
legs. The house was now as gloomy as I was. I groped my way to the front
window, and looked across the street.
Just at that moment a flash of lightning leaped out, and fell like a
flaming sword; then a peal of thunder tore the clouds, with a deafening
crash, as if they were made of sheet-iron. The fiend incarnate, in the
shape of the woman who had slipped through my fingers, stood at the door
of the opposite house, with a simper on her mouth, as if butterine
wouldn't melt in it.
I had a big oath ready, and it nearly hissed out on the hob, hot and
strong; but, as I had been brought up on porridge and the Shorter
Catechism, I did not give rein to profanity, so just pulled up in time
to prevent a moral smash. Besides, an oath to be effective must have two
or three witnesses.
I believe that—blank woman knew I was looking at her, for she simpered
and smiled like one o'clock on Christmas Day. I only saw her for a
second, but the sight burned into my brain. If there is ever a post
mortem on me, the scar will be found. After the sudden flash the
blackness of darkness swallowed up house, woman, and everything. I never
saw night put up the shutters so early for the time of year.
"'Thunder-and-Lightning' has been warned," said a voice close to my
left shoulder.
"Angels and ministers of grace defend us!" I said under my breath.
"Who's there?" I called in my loudest and boldest manner.
"Down," said the voice.
This was the watchword the Governor gave me. I had forgotten it. It
seemed years since I heard it.
"Who speaks, and what is your news?" I said, feeling sure a friend was near.
"I am the Lieutenant-Governor. I came to tell you that
'Thunder-and-Lightning' has been warned, and that his movements are
known. He is in Melbourne, but will shun the house as if it had the
plague. The woman you saw just now is at the bottom of it all. I am
afraid she has found out something."
I was never so much astonished in all my life. You might have knocked me
down with a humming-bird's feather; but I quickly recovered possession
of myself, and struck a match, which I held up in the face of the
speaker. I did not know it. The match went out.
"Hold this dark-lantern for a moment, and look at me," said the man.
"Now flash it on me."
He was the quintessence of conscientiousness. He had got some
information, through an underground channel, and he had come in search
of me. He had seen me when I ran after the woman, and had followed me
cautiously. It was done in a masterly way, for I did not see a soul in
the road. He was a born detective, which is the highest praise I could
give. The Queen never had a better representative. Perhaps he tried to
do too much. He wanted to bat, bowl, field, and keep wickets in every
game. If he had been captain of a ship, he would have tried to do duty
also as first, second, and third mate, steward, cook, carpenter, and
able-bodied seaman.
When I had looked at him steadily for a minute, I dropped the lantern,
and said, "I'm blowed!" The wind was taken out of my sails and no
mistake! When I recovered myself a bit, I waited for His Excellency to
speak, but he did not say a word. Feeling the silence awkward I spoke again.
"Has your Excellency anything further to say?"
There was no reply. I ventured to put out my hand to where he had been
standing, and grasped a handful of air. I spoke again, and groped about,
then held up the lantern. He wasn't in any of the rooms. He had gone as
noiselessly as he had come. Chingahgook could not have vanished more
silently. I was left to my own resources.
I wasn't going to stay any longer in this mouldy, rat-riddled,
mouse-eaten house. I couldn't breathe or think, so I went into the open
air, turned down the right-of-way, and into the street where the
suspected house stood. As I passed it I flashed the lantern on the door,
and saw a chalk mark like a streak of forked lightning. I perceived at a
glance that this was a preconcerted sign for "Thunder-and-Lightning" to
give the house a wide berth and vanish.
I thought I heard a laugh behind the window as I passed, but I suppose
it was all imagination. The laugh was against me, of course. I was in no
laughing mood. I went on, and hadn't reached the corner of the street,
when I determined to have another look at the place. I had got half-way
to it, when a moving mass of women's clothes passed me, and a voice came
out of the bundle.
"Wallace, does your mother know you're out?"
This stung me to madness. I made a grab at the millinery, but it was
gone. I heard a silvery laugh somewhere. It might have come from the
middle of the road, an upstairs window, the top of a chimney, or other
unlikely place, for anything I knew in the state of frenzy I was in. I
made a dash down the road, but might as well have looked for a needle in
a haystack. I found a big D—— between my teeth, but I swallowed the
other three letters with a gulp, and cursed inwardly.
My mother didn't know I was out; but I did, and was sick of the
business. I had been too confident. There was nothing more to be done
that night, for the game had got wind of me somehow.
I slipped my baton up my sleeve, and turned to go home. The streets were
deserted and dark, save for a faint patch of light under an oil-lamp,
which flickered and glistened on the wet ground. In a short time I had
left the houses behind, and walked across the open space between
Collingwood and the gaol, striking into a narrow path which many feet
had trodden hard; it wound here and there between pools of water. There
was just width enough for two persons to walk abreast, and there was
only sufficient light for me to see the grey strip of solid ground
stretching in front. I had arrived a little to the west of the gaol
walls, when the moon began to show herself in the rifts of the driving
clouds.
A figure loomed up ahead of me, about a hundred feet away. It came
nearer and nearer, when I saw it was a man. I prepared to go to the
right so as to let him pass, when he suddenly presented a pistol at my
head, and said, in a blood-red whisper, "Your money or your life!" I
brought up my right hand, with the forefinger thrust out like the barrel
of a pistol, while my other fingers were doubled up, and shouted, "I'll
shoot you, you scoundrel!" At the same time I knocked the fellow's
pistol-hand up with a rapid blow. A deafening report followed, and a
ball grazed the top of my head. The moon shone out full on the man's
face. He had blazing black eyes, a broken nose, and the scar of an old
cut down his left cheek. As soon as he fired, he darted off with the
speed of a deer at right angles to the path, and I heard him
floundering in the water. I was in pursuit in a moment, although I
thought my head was ploughed with the ball, and had got a top-dressing
of bone dust, which would bring up a crop of troubles.
The moon withdrew herself. The landscape was a blank once more. I was to
draw no prizes to-night apparently. The would-be murderer was swallowed
up in the darkness. I went hither and thither searching for him, but
soon found I had lost my bearings; so I retraced my steps as well as I
could, till I struck La Trobe Street, then went to my lodgings, let
myself in, and crept up to my room.
When I lit the candle a thought flashed into my brain with electric
speed. I stood dazed; then brought my right hand down on the
dressing-table with such terrific force as to ruin the whole
box-and-dice in a moment; the legs snapped; there was a crash, and the
looking-glass was smashed into a hundred pieces.
The man who fired at me was no other than "Thunder-and-Lightning." The
Governor had described him exactly in the paper he had given me.
In another minute I was in the street, and running like a madman.
Before midnight I had visited every police station in Melbourne, and had
given a description of the man. At daylight fifty eyes were watching for
him on the main exits from the town.
Next morning the Argus reported that a man had been found dead on a
vacant piece of ground near the gaol; that several robberies had been
effected by an armed man; and that money, to a large amount, had been
stolen. A description of the man was given, which proved to me that he
was no other than "Thunder-and-Lightning." There was much excitement in
the city; but the climax was reached when it became known, soon after
ten o'clock, that the manager of a suburban bank had been found on the
premises, gagged, and bound hand and foot. He told an extraordinary
story. He had been awakened in the middle of the night by a man, who
held a pistol to his ear, and told him that he would be instantly shot
if he made the slightest noise. The manager discovered that his arms
were already bound by a stout rope, and that he was powerless to
resist. Another man came and gagged him, then tied his legs.
The robbers found the key to the safe, and effected an entrance. To
their intense disgust they only got about £200 in notes (chiefly tens),
£25 in gold, and a little silver. Seeing there was no more money, one of
the men gave the manager a blow with the butt end of a pistol, which
stunned him. When he recovered the men had decamped. He gave me a
description of them, and "Thunder-and-Lightning" was one, without doubt.
I felt very small, for the scoundrel had been within my grasp, and I had
let him slip. I made a vow that I would hunt him down and take his life,
or lose my own in the attempt.
I obtained a search-warrant, and proceeded to the house I had been
watching the night before, picking up three policemen in plain clothes
at the local office, and directing two of them to go to the back of the
house, while I, with the other man, went to the front. I knocked several
times, but got no answer. Then I tried the door; it gave to my touch and
flew open. When I let the men in at the back, we searched the place,
and found the bird had flown. Looking out of a window, I saw there was a
lane running from the public-house I had visited the previous night to
the place where I was. Some incidents of yesterday were unravelling.
Leaving the three men, I went out by the front way, and walked to the
public-house open and above-board, as bold as brass. I strolled into the
parlour, and rang the bell. A frowsy little boy of about twelve years
answered my call. He had a pasty face, snub nose, big mouth, greenish
eyes, and red hair. I knew a face the very image of it, but I could not
remember where I had seen it.
"Did you ring, mate?" the boy said.
"Yes, I'll take a glass of colonial ale."
"All right," he replied, and went away to get it.
Now he had not been gone a minute, when I suddenly remembered whose face
he was the image of. He was as like Pat Kineen, our messenger, as two
split peas are like each other. I heard him coming back.
"Your name might be Kineen?" I said.
"It is that same, shure!"
"And the other name may be Patsy?"
"Shure, you've hit the bull's-eye! It is."
I had made a bold guess. I said, "I've come from your father. He and I
are chums."
"An' what may you want wid me?"
"I want you to take me to a man who is staying here. I know his name,
but I was to ask for a man with a big scar on his face."
"I wasn't to tell anybody who didn't give the word."
"Ah, ah! I see. 'Mum' is the word."
"Faith, ye've got it! 'Mum' is the word an' no mistake."
I had stumbled on the right word. The combination had opened the lock.
"Well, take me to him as quick as you can."
"It isn't a him: it's a she. He's gone, he has, this morning."
"Well, take me to her, then. I'm a friend."
I slipped a shilling into his hand, and he led the way, muttering,
"You're a gintleman."
He went to the top of the stair, I following, ready to grab him if he
tried to bolt. He stopped at a door in a dark passage, and knocked three
times, then whispered, "Mum."
The door opened at once. I grasped two hands, and said, "How are you?"
then slipped a pair of handcuffs over a woman's wrists.
I went inside and locked the door. I was in a regular trap, for I felt
convinced there were some desperate characters in the house who would
not stick at a trifle. There was not a moment to lose, so I dragged the
woman to the window, threw the sash open, and whistled three times. My
men popped their heads out of the door of the house I had left them in,
saw me, and came up the lane at a rapid run.
In the meantime the woman screamed and alarmed the house. The door was
burst open; a man rushed in and threw himself upon me. Just then,
however, my three men ran forward and secured him in a trice.
I had made a haul. The net result was I had caught two fish that were
worth catching. I am actually trying to make a pun, which is excusable,
as my success was great. For the last twenty-four hours I had been as
hard-faced as a dissenting chapel. There hadn't been a smile in me. The
game was whist. There wasn't a "joker" in the pack. It was my deal now.
I had turned up an honour, and had some good trumps in my hand.
The woman was the one I had followed the night before, and the man was
the accomplice of "Thunder-and-Lightning" in the bank robbery. Notes
were found in their possession, which were proved by the numbers to have
been some of the stolen ones.
The prisoners were lodged in the nearest police station, much to my
satisfaction. I walked away on the tips of my toes, and with my head
held high. There was exhilaration in the air, and I felt as if I had
swallowed a "pick-me-up."
As I returned to the office the conversation I had with Pat Kineen came
fresh into my memory. How did he know I was "to go afther the biggest
thafe of the wurrld" I should like to know? and why was his son acting
as potboy in the hotel? Then Patsy's unguarded admissions pointed to
something not yet cleared up. Pat had been got at. I had a bone to pick
with him, and I would get into the marrow, so I gnawed away at it,
ruminated over it, and digested it.
When I arrived at the office I saw that Pat had had some information of
what had taken place. He was trying to hide something. His face looked
scared and his hands shook.
"It's a beautiful day, Pat."
"Illigant indade, Misther Wallace," he said, with a curious shake in his
voice.
I knocked at the chief's door, went in and shut it, then said in a
whisper, "I suspect Pat Kineen of a crime, and wish to arrest him."
"Good heavens! what's the matter?"
"I believe he is at the keyhole now."
I went on tiptoe and put my eye to the hole. A pupil, with anxious
inquiry, was trying to solve a problem on the other side. I opened the
door and pulled it with all my force. As I expected, Pat fell sprawling
into the room.
"What is all this?" said the chief, starting up in a rage.
"This," said I, as cool as a water-melon at four in the morning, "is Pat
Kineen, the companion of thieves and a sharer of the plunder."
"Och!" said Pat. "Oi was just clanin' the door-handle whin Misther
Wallace pulled me into the room as I was hangin' on to it."
"You'll hang higher than that, Pat, if you don't take care," I said.
"Go away, Pat," said the chief, "and don't hang on to door-handles and
get so suspiciously near keyholes again."
"Oh no!" I said; "I arrest him in the Queen's name for being a companion
of thieves, and assisting 'Thunder-and-Lightning' to escape."
"Be careful what you are doing, Wallace!" said the chief.
"Oh, I am very careful!" I said; "I've got a tight grip of him."
"The divil take him!" yelled Pat. "If I'd a blackthorn I'd shplit his
head wid it."
"Would you kindly see what Pat was hiding in his drawer?" I said to the
chief.
He went at once, Pat and I following.
"In that corner," said I, pointing to the left-hand side.
"Here is a £10 note," said the chief.
"What is the number?"
"21,105."
"Whist!" said Pat to me; "don't tell an' I'll give you fifty pounds."
I paid no heed to him, but said, "That is one of the notes stolen from
the bank."
"Me mother's first cousin's sister's son," said Pat, stammering wildly,
"giv' me that for change av a sovereign this marnin'!"
"You'll get your change in your sovereign's gaol for three years, note
that!" I said. I can't help making a pun or two when I'm in high
spirits, even if they are bad ones. I was elated with my success, and no
mistake. This is the only excuse I have.
I may as well say here that the woman was found guilty of receiving some
of the stolen notes. The man I arrested in the hotel was found guilty of
robbing the bank. It was proved that Pat had warned
"Thunder-and-Lightning," and had been rewarded by getting a share of the
stolen money. Heavy sentences were passed upon them, with hard labour.
This was my first big case. I was complimented on all sides, and got
promotion with a good salary tagged on.
Well, "Thunder-and-Lightning" was too quick for us. He had flashed on
the town, shot his bolt, and disappeared. For two months the criminal
outlook was clear. I had nothing to do but take a survey of the horizon
in the morning, and an observation at noon. There were no outbursts of
murder or robbery. "Thunder-and-Lightning" was lying low. I knew he
would break out some day.
One morning I received secret intelligence that he had been seen in the
Puzzle ranges, near the Strathbogie country. This was enough for me. I
scented the battle afar off. I happened to be reading at the time, but I
threw down my book at once, and got instructions to go to the front
without delay. In about two hours I had rigged myself up as a digger. A
digger's signboard at that time was made up of a pair of moleskin
trousers, a blue "jumper," a pair of heavy boots, and a slouch hat. With
a swag over my shoulder, I made my way to the coach office about five
o'clock in the afternoon. The coach by which I proposed to go was just
driving up.
"Hullo, old fellow!" said an acquaintance of mine. "Off to the
diggings?"
"Yes, I'm going to have a try."
"So long then; wish you luck."
Having bought a ticket, I took an inside seat, not caring to advertise
myself in big letters on the front page. I might as well be under the
gaze of the hundred eyes of the Argus as sit and be conned like a book
by every passer-by. When a coach trundles along any one who runs, or
walks, may read.
I pulled my hat over my eyes, and settled myself as if I meant to take a
sleep. This attitude disarms criticism, and provokes contempt. A good
imitation of a snore decides the business. The sleeper is either a fool
or drunk.
The coach went down the street as far as the post-office, and stopped to
take the mails. In a few minutes we were round the corner, and bowling
up Elizabeth Street at the rate of ten miles an hour, going into a rut
occasionally, like diving into the trough of the sea, for the roads were
uncommonly bad in those days. The passengers bumped about, and cannoned
off each other like bowls on a green, amid much laughing. It was lively!
I smiled between the snores. We soon got used to the motion, and timed
ourselves, as a rider does on a trotting horse.
About every fifteen miles, as I judged, we changed horses, and went on
with a fresh spurt. Sometimes the coach would travel on one wheel for a
second or two, or on one side, then on the other. Then we travelled, for
an hour or more, on level ground, and would suddenly skid, with the
break on, down a steep hill, in and out among the rocks, to the bottom,
and then slowly labour up the next rise.
About ten o'clock we stopped at a wayside inn. Some one called out,
"Supper." There was no need to announce it. It announced itself with a
nasal effect. The nose had the news first. The air was full of it,
shouting "onions."
Everybody but myself went to supper. I wouldn't show myself in the
fierce glare of the kerosene lamps; so I sat where I was, pulled out my
sandwich case, and had a square meal then washed it down with a swig of
brandy and water.
In half an hour the passengers clambered to their seats, the driver
shouted, "All aboard!" cracked his whip, and we were off. It was black
as pitch, the road was sticky, the air clammy, and the coachman looked
like the Wild Huntsman careering to the bottomless pit. I had had enough
make-believe sleep, and was very wide awake. I peered through the
curtain and looked out. It was a blindman's holiday. We came to a steep
pinch, and the horses stopped. All the men were ordered to get down and
walk. It was a relief to stretch one's legs, so I went ahead, and the
rest of the passengers lumbered behind. Some of them were soon blown in
trying to keep pace with the horses. When the band begins to march you
must keep up with it, or you'll lose the music. When the coach stopped
at the top of the hill three men were missing, but they soon came up,
and we went on again. The dreary night died by inches; I thought the day
would never dawn. When it came, dancing over the mountains, I retired
behind my hat.
About noon we arrived at the town of Benalla. This was as far as I was
going by coach, so I got down at the hotel where the horses were
changed. Here I got a wash and a good dinner.
I went into the town, with my swag on my back, and steered a southerly
course towards the mountains. A young woman, who had lost nearly all her
teeth, and hadn't sense enough to keep her mouth shut, showed me the
Mansfield road, and told me that some rich diggings had been discovered
near Pepper Hill. I promised to give them a try.
The road was as intricate as a railway guide. Branch tracks switched off
here and there, and wandered about till they were bogged or "bushed."
Noble red gum-trees scented the air. A pastoral symphony was performed
by an orchestra of magpies, laughing jackasses, and cockatoos.
Kingfishers flashed like jewels; parrots, clad in rainbows, chattered;
the whip-bird cracked his thong, and made the forest ring; native bears
placidly stared; bees and honey-suckers were competing for cargo in the
same line.
It was a peaceful scene. I was quite enchanted, and would willingly have
abandoned the enterprise for the life of the simple farmer, whistling at
the plough or calling the cattle home. Should I return in peace with the
trophies of war, or leave my bones to bleach in the sun and wind until
the last trump shall echo among the mountains?
I had been walking for some hours, when I saw, away to the left, a long,
low house nestling among trees. I jumped over a bush-fence, and took a
straight aim for a chimney that blew a wreath of smoke out of its pipe.
The sun was going down. The birds were settling themselves in bed, and
tucking their heads among the feathers.
When I at last scrambled down to the broad flat that stretched away to
the Broken River, I suddenly found myself among a number of cows and big
calves, which skipped about on the smallest number of legs there is any
record of. The economy of nature is surprising. A little goes a long
way. A dog on three legs is nothing to what I saw. I was rather scared
when they came round me to stare. Like country folks, they were
inquisitive, and wanted to know what I was fooling around for.
Just then a man, with a limp in his left leg, and a crooked stick in his
right hand, came up. This was old Sailor Tom, as I found out afterwards,
who was driving the cattle home to milk. I gave him a civil "Good
evening."
"Good evening, mate," said Tom. "D'ye come from the new diggin's? Some
says as there's lumps o' goold there as big as me 'ead; other some it's
a 'shicer.'"
"No," I said; "but I'm goin' there. D'ye think ye'r boss would gi'e me a
bed?"
"Oh yes," said Tom, "he'll find ye a bed if ye can find the sleep,
that's fair. Ye see the strangers' hut has had the kangaroo dogs in it,
so the population's lively an' aboundin'. The fleas is in possession of
the field after the last bloody battle wi' a 'sundowner,' when he went
to bed an' board there. I found 'im in the mornin', like a waterlogged
ship, sinkin' fast, wi' the whole crew workin' hard at the pumps, and
suckin' away for bare life."
"An' what became o' the man?" I said.
"Oh! we just towed 'im away, an' patched 'im up. 'Ee vowed 'ee wouldn't
cruise on this station no more; says 'ee, 'This 'ere station's too
'eavily stocked, an' the breed too lively to my fancy.'"
I determined to give the strangers' hut a wide berth, for one flea in
bed is one too many for me.
Sailor Tom began to laugh when he saw my glum looks, and said, "Ye can
spread ye'r blankets in the spare bunk in my hut. That's it," pointing
to a low slab building with a bark roof. "Jist go up there; I'll be wi'
ye in a jiffy when I've done milkin'. Get up, Polly!"
I went to the hut, and finding a rough bench at the door, sat down to
rest after my long walk. Tom proved a kindly soul; he brought me a big
pannikin of tea, a chop, and a piece of bread. After a good meal I
turned into the bunk, and was soon fast asleep.
Somewhere about two in the morning I awoke with a start. The clattering
of a horse's hoofs was heard passing close to the hut, and a wild
halloo rattled the loose window-pane, and echoed from the hill. To my
astonishment, another halloo burst out from powerful lungs close to my
ear.
"Dang it!" said Sailor Tom, "ain't that a stretcher for the windpipe.
'Ope 'ee 'eard it."
"Who?" I said.
"I'm blest! then you don't belong to them parts? That's
'Thunder-an'-Lightnin's' signal to me w'en 'ee goes by across our ford;
an' I answers 'im."
"An' what for?" says I.
"As much as to say there's no bobbies aroun'; do you twig?"
"I twig," said I. "'An where's he off to now?"
"To the Dead Horse diggin's for sarten. I can 'ear 'is 'orse's 'oofs
clatterin' up the track."
"Wish he hadn't wakened me out o' a sound sleep."
"I tell ye there's music in 'is voice, an' money too; beats the
Hightalian Hopera to fits!"
"Do you say so?" says I. "D'ye think he's in want o' a volunteer?"
"I think," said Tom, "'ee can make a vacancy for a likely lad o' your
stamp. Maybe I'll enlist ye!"
I turned over on my side, and grunted, "Good night." I didn't sleep
another wink. I had not come up here for nothing. The Lord had delivered
Goliath into my hand.
I rose with the sun, and dressed myself in haste. While I was making my
preparations, I saw Sailor Tom looking at me with one eye.
"I'm off," I said—"want to travel before the sun gets hot."
"I see," said Tom, "as the blind man said who couldn't see at all. Then
ye won't 'ave breakfast?"
"No; but many thanks for all your kindness. By-the-by, which is the
track to the Dead Horse dig-gin's?"
"W'en ye get out o' the 'ome paddock you'll see a blasted red-gum; go up
to it an' cross the road; then you'll come on a blazed track; follow
that up, an' you'll strike Dead Horse in twenty-five miles. An' a word
in ye'r ear! If you meet 'Thunder-an'-Lightnin',' tell 'im you're a
friend o' mine, an' ye want to jine the troop. Say I recommend ye. Show
'im this." He took a copper token out of his trousers' pocket, and
handed it to me. I looked at it carefully, and saw a rude representation
of forked lightning. "Show 'im this," he repeated, "an' tell 'im Sailor
Tom enlisted ye. Jist whisper 'mum,' for that's the watchword. 'E'll
know that I've enlisted ye. Now remember! 'mum's' the word."
"I'll remember. Good-bye, and thanks; I'll look him up." I lifted the
latch and walked away, through the home paddock, up to the blasted tree,
across the road, where I found the blazed track, and went joyfully on my
way.
I was in no hurry, for I did not wish to arrive at the diggings till
night was setting in. I had food in my swag when I wanted it. My pistols
were in my belt. I felt right as a trivet, and was very confident. About
dusk I came to Pepper Hill, a quarter of a mile from the track, and took
a seat on the outcrop of a quartz reef that trended north and south. In
the valley I could see tents, and smoke rising from the fires. I ate
some bread and cake, and felt refreshed. Just then I heard the crack of
a rifle away to the east. When you are after game, look for tracks; when
after bush-rangers, listen for the crack of firearms. I located the
exact spot where the shot came from, for I saw a puff of smoke rise
behind a bush. I walked quickly down the hill in that direction. It was
now dark.
I stole along on the soft, short grass till I judged I was near the
spot. A low sobbing sound caught my ear. Instinctively I cocked one of
my pistols, and held it in my right hand, creeping nearer and nearer, on
hands and feet, till I came to something white, from which the sobbing
came.
"I'm a friend," I said. "What's the matter?"
"I'm shot. Oh, what shall I do? what shall I do?" And a torrent of
hysterical moaning followed from a woman's voice.
"My good woman," I said, "what has happened? Tell me quick!"
After a short time she was sufficiently calm to say, "My man has been
murdered in that tent down there. When I was running away to give the
alarm I was shot through the leg."
"Where is the man who did it?"
"In the tent. You can see it lighted up from where you stand."
"I will come back with help for you in a short time. Make no noise, as
you value your life."
I went away like a shadow on tiptoe—a shade could not make less
noise—and was soon at the back of the tent. It was lit by a candle.
Through the thin canvas I could see a man with a fiddle on his knee. He
took it up and tuned it. "Ha! ha!" he laughed, "I haven't played a tune
for five years; but I'll have one now, in spite of all the fiends in
hell." He struck a note or two, and glided into the tune of "Donnybrook
Fair." "That's something like," he said. "Now for 'Rafferty's Wake!'
That's the ticket! If I had a gallon of brandy I'd give him such a wake
as has never been seen on Dead Horse, and make every man-jack on the
place dance while I covered them with my pistol. Curse him! I wish I had
never seen him. Only got ten ounces, and I was told he had made as much
as five hundred." Then he played "Rafferty's Wake" again, but slid into
the gloomy strains of "The Last Man."
He banged the fiddle on the table in a rage, then took it up and patted
it. Putting it under his chin once more, he played the most mournful
air I ever heard, which made my flesh creep and my hair stand on end.
Then he played "The Last Man."
"Curse the tune!" he roared. "If this is the last man I'm going to shoot
I'll give him decent burial. Dead men tell no tales, and buried ones
show no sign."
While all this was going on my eyes were not idle. On the rude bed lay
the ghastly figure of a man—a hole in his forehead, and his face
covered with blood. A rifle and a pistol lay on the table beside the
murderer, also a chamois leather bag; and a small pile of gold dust was
scattered near it. A brandy bottle and a pannikin, from which he had
evidently been imbibing freely, stood at his elbow. I could easily have
shot him, but that wasn't my game. "A living dog is better than a dead
lion." I would watch and wait.
Then he went to a corner of the tent and took up a pick and shovel, with
which he walked out and strode down the gulley, evidently with the
intention of digging a hole into which to put the body. He hummed a
lively tune for a few bars, dropping into a minor key, and ending with
a snatch from "The Last Man," as if he couldn't help it. This annoyed
him. He swore a round oath, and clattered the pick and shovel together.
I thought he was going to throw them down and come back, but he went on.
I was after him like a weasel on a rabbit's track.
The moon came out grey and ghostly, so I easily kept him in sight. I
felt sure he was "Thunder-and-Lightning." Something in his gait told me
he was the man. He turned from side to side, apparently looking for a
digger's trial-hole that would suit his purpose. When he had found one
he threw down the pick and shovel, and peered into the excavation. It
seemed to satisfy him, for he jumped into it and began to make it
deeper.
I thought this was the proper moment to introduce myself, so I went
softly to the edge of the hole and whispered, "Mum." He gave a start,
for I had stolen so noiselessly he was taken aback, and stopped to look
at me.
"Good evening, captain," I said; "I come from Sailor Tom. He enlisted me
in your troop if you'll have me. Here is the proof." Then I showed him
the token I had received from Tom. He took it and examined it by the
pale light, then felt it with his forefinger.
Before I knew what he was doing he had pulled a pistol from his belt and
pointed it at me. I felt Death's scythe swishing at my heart. My life
wasn't worth a minute's purchase, but I did not flinch or wink an eye.
"Say the oath after me."
"All right, captain; I'm ready."
Then he said, "I enlist as one of Captain 'Thunder-and-Lightning's'
men."
I repeated, "I enlist as one of Captain 'Thunder-and-Lightning's' men."
"I swear I will obey him even to death."
"I swear I will obey him even to death."
"And shed my last drop of blood at his command."
"And shed my last drop of blood at his command."
"That's all," he said, lowering the pistol. "You are one of my men now,
and as likely a young fellow as there is under my command. Give me your
hand."
I put it out, and he gave it such a vice-like grip I was very glad when
he let go; but I think I gave him as good a squeeze as I got.
"You're of the right sort!" he said, after he released me. "Now, the
first command I have to give you is to carry a dead man and bury him
here. I always try the nerve of a new recruit."
"You'll find, captain, that I have plenty of nerve, and more in the bank
to draw from."
"Come along then, and go before me to that tent you see up there."
I was actually driven, like a dumb beast, to the tent where the murdered
man lay, and was told to go in.
"Blast him!" said "Thunder-and-Lightning." "Look at him! See his ghastly
eye! Did you ever see a dead man stare like that? I never felt like this
before. I'm going mad! No! No! it's only my nerves that have given way."
He seized the brandy bottle, poured about half a pint into the pannikin,
and drank it to the last drop.
"Ha! that is better! now I'll play a tune. Shall it be 'Rafferty's
Wake?' D—— it, man, why don't you speak?"
"Yes," I said, "'Rafferty's Wake.' Ha! ha! well spoken, captain! You go
before, and I'll follow with the body. We'll give him an illegant
funeral."
"D—— you! You're a man after my own heart. You've got the nerve of
twenty men! Just like me."
The brandy was working. He strutted about with the fiddle, and ran the
bow up and down the strings. I followed him with the dead man in my
arms, who was a little fellow and light.
The murdering ruffian marched before me playing "Rafferty's Wake,"
making the strings squeal and skirl, while he shouted, "That's something
like! go it!" He arrived at the brink of the intended grave, and I was
just behind him, when I gave a sudden lunge and struck him on the back
with the dead man, which sent him sprawling, head foremost, into the
hole. The murdered digger seemed to clutch him round the neck, and fell
in with him. I sprang on top of them in a moment.
I forced "Thunder-and-Lightning's" right hand behind his back and held
it there, while I slipped a pair of handcuffs out of my pocket and
secured it; then I wrenched the left hand in the same manner and
handcuffed it.
I was so elated I could not contain myself any longer. I shouted
"hurrah," and laughed loud and long. I suppose my nerves had been strung
to such a pitch I had to let them down a little.
"Thunder-and-Lightning" lay quite still. At first I thought he was dead,
as he had fallen upon his head. Perhaps his skull was broken; but, as I
never knew an Irishman to be killed by a fall on his head, I soon felt
pretty easy in my mind that he was all right. Hard knocks with
shillelahs, for thousands of years, have developed a thickening of the
bone; or is it a survival of the fittest?
I slipped his pistols into my belt, then coo-ed for ten minutes, and
fired a shot. To my great delight I heard a cautious, "What's the
matter? Where are you?"
"I'm here! I want help!" I shouted. Three men and six dogs soon made
their appearance.
"Wha may you be, my fine fallow, an' what's the maiter?" said an old
man, who was holding a bull-dog by a chain, and saying to him, "Doun,
Nero, doun!"
I told them in few words that the digger who had lived up the hill had
been murdered, that his wife had been shot in the leg, that she was
lying a short distance beyond, and that I had captured the murderer.
"Jist let ma doug Nero hand 'im by the cauf o's leg, an' he winna get
awa," said the old man.
"Poor Tom, and poor Lizzie," said the men, who were decent fellows, and
very sympathetic. Two of them went away to attend to the woman; one of
them stayed with me. In a short time Lizzie was carried to a tent, and
given into the care of some women. The police were informed of what had
taken place, and two of them came. We marched the murderer to the
lock-up, then I called for a lantern, and flashed it in his face. He was
"Thunder-and-Lightning"; no mistake about that—broken nose, black eyes,
and scar.
There is not much more to tell. I took charge of the scoundrel, and
hardly lost sight of him, till he was safely lodged in Her Majesty's
gaol in Melbourne. He was tried, found guilty of murder, and hanged by
the neck till he was dead. His Excellency the Governor thanked me
warmly, and a large money reward with immediate promotion came very
opportunely.
THE END