Richard Clay & Sons, Limited,
BREAD STREET HILL, E.C., AND
BUNGAY, SUFFOLK.
INTRODUCTION
Since the days of Latin, to how few authors has it
been given to obtain an European reputation!
We English seem exceptionally slow in making ourselves
acquainted with the works of foreigners. Dante
and Cervantes, Goethe and Dumas, are perhaps no
worse known among us than they are in their homes;
but we seldom find out a modern writer till he has been
the round of all the other countries. We are opinionated
in England. We think other folk barbarians, even
if we don't call them so; we visit them for the making
of comparisons, generally in our own favour; of trying
their manners and customs, arts and morals, not by
their standard but by ours. We never forget that on
the map of Europe there is the big continent, and away
in a corner, by themselves, extraneous, cut off, and
"very superior," physically and morally isolated and
self-contained, are our two not over enormous islands.
We don't regret that sea-voyage, literal and metaphorical,
which is necessary to transport us to the lands
of the barbarians; and though we travel a great deal, I
declare I think we all (and especially newspaper correspondents)
go about enclosed in a little bubble of our
own foggy atmosphere, seeing only the things we intend
to see, hearing the things we mean to hear, and already
believe. We are poor linguists moreover, and when we
talk with the barbarians we only catch half they say
and omit all attention to what they hint; we frighten
them by our abruptness, our unintentional hortatoriness
and unconscious conceit, so that they don't say to us
what they mean, nor tell what they suppose to be true.
We come home swollen with false report and evil
surmise, and at once commit ourselves to criticism and
laudation equally beside the mark. I wonder now do
we really understand the errors of Abdul Hamed and
Nicholas II as thoroughly as we think we do? and in
our long glibness about the Dreyfus case has it never
occurred to us we may have been partly deluded?—as
the barbarians were deluded when they chattered of us
in the time of the Boer War!
Well, we can't help our position in the far-away
corner of the map; but perhaps we should become less
odd and more sympathetic if we read the barbarian's
books a little oftener; books in which he is talking to
his brother barbarians, and has not been questioned by
an island catechist; books, superior or inferior to our
own it matters little, which at least are written from
another standpoint, and which by their mere perusal
must extend our knowledge, and remind us that "it
takes all sorts to make a world."
The best way, of course, is to read foreign books in
their original language. Don Quixote was right when
he said translation was a bad job at its best. But life
is short and the gift of tongues is miraculous; some of
us are too busy with our Dante and our Schopenhauer
to waste time on a railway novel, and more are
lazy and can't be bothered to look out words in a
dictionary. The humble translator has his function.
If he can succeed in giving any of his author's spirit,
he may interest his reader enough to send him to the
original itself next time;—in which case the translator
will have done a worthy deed, and the author will
perhaps forgive a certain mangling of his ideas, spoiling
of his best passages and general rubbing of the bloom
from his peach, inevitable in a process scarce easier than
changing the skin of an Ethiopian or repainting the
spots of a leopard.
Grazia Deledda, the new writer, for not so many years
have passed since the publication of her first book, has
already conquered not only her fellow-countrymen but
many more distant peoples. Several of her novels have
been put into French for the Revue des Deux Mondes
and have appeared in Germany in various magazines
and journals. One at least has been published in
America, and this particular book, Nostalgie, is in
process of translation into German, Spanish, Russian,
Dutch, Swedish, and French. In England alone—poor,
isolated, ignorant England—is the author's name almost
unknown.
She is a Sardinian, and most of her books have been
about her native island, the simple folk, and quiet
histories of a forgotten corner where the tourist has
hardly penetrated. But Signora Deledda now lives
in Rome, and true to her method she observes and describes
the things and places about her, the people
among whom her lot is cast. The scene of Nostalgie is
therefore laid in the capital, but with constant allusion
to a district in the north of Italy evidently familiar—her
husband's country—which she tells us is dear to her as
a second home, and from which she has dated her preface.
As a writer she prides herself on her Realism—strange,
ill-comprehended, often misapplied word! The
realism of the highly imaginative may easily seem
romance to the prosaic; and Signora Deledda will
pardon us if we say that if only in her pictures of
scenery, in her intimate knowledge of the influence of
Nature on the heart and the mind of her votaries,
there is something very superior to realism—at least in
the common acceptation of the term. Grazia Deledda
sees her figures set in a landscape, belonging to it, born
of it. Half the tragedy of this book arises from the
fact that the heroine having lived alone with Nature is
suddenly transplanted to a city where she imagines herself
bereaved of the mighty mother. Years have to go
over before she realises that the mighty mother never
really deserts her children, and that the "still sad music
of Humanity" is as much a part of Nature as the sough
of the wind, the rustling of the leaves in the poplar-trees,
and the unending roll of the river waters.
The form of Signora Deledda's novels is almost autobiographical.
There is one principal character, hero or
heroine as the case may be, and the story develops from
his or her point of view. In the book before us, we
know all about Regina, we are, as it were, inside her;
but the other personages are known to us only in so far
as she knows them. We are never admitted to a scene
from which she is absent, nor is anything explained to
us but in so far as she understood or guessed it herself.
The minor characters are little more than sketched;
figures in a crowd of which Regina saw the outside and
occasionally touched the soul. One feels the gracious
influence of her mother as she felt it, but we are told
little about her and practically never see her in action.
The plot is slight, but it hangs together perfectly with
unity and focus, never giving a feeling of strain. It is
all very un-English; neither the life nor the actors are
like ours, nor at all like what is described in our novels.
The history and romance of Rome are sternly omitted.
History and romance are already the property of the
foreigners "who come down on Rome like a swarm of
locusts," who wear "dress fasteners" and "impossible
hats," who "resemble a nation of inquisitive children
amusing themselves in the desecration of a stupendous
sepulchre."
Yet even for the foreigner the supreme interest of
Rome must be that it is no mere museum, but a living
city still. Busy with churches and temples, statues and
paintings, inscriptions and sites, we are apt to overlook
the contemporary Romans whom we have not come
forth to see. To themselves they must necessarily be
the most important part of the Eternal City; and the
greater number of them are not princes and dukes
with historic names, nor even renowned churchmen, or
patriots and kingdom builders, but good, simple, workaday,
middle-class persons such as are the backbone of
all countries and of all societies.
It is among such unnoticed folk that Grazia Deledda
has taken us in Nostalgie; and it is not too much to say
that her pages have a distinction and a force which
recalls, at least in a measure, the style qui rugit of the
author of Madame Bovary.
Helen Hester Colvill.
AUTHOR'S PREFACE
To my Husband—
Do you remember a young and attractive lady
who called on us one day in the course of our first
year's residence in Rome? Her visit was surprising;
for I did not know the coronet-surmounted name on
her card, and at that time few outside our small circle
of intimates had discovered our nest in Via Modena, or
had courage to climb a century of steps in pursuit of
two useless persons unpractised in giving letters of
introduction or inditing dedicatory epistles. The lady,
whom I will call Regina, explained, however, that she
came from your native province and was the bearer of
messages from your friends. We talked a long time of
that vicinity, dear to me as a second home; then she
asked if I did not yearn after my native Sardinia, whose
children are reputed always great sufferers from homesickness.
"Not so much," I replied. "I love Rome with all
my heart; besides, I am so busy with my work that I
have no time for the indulgence of idle phantasies."
"You work so hard? Happy you!" sighed the
young lady; and added, "But, no! no! Homesickness
is not mere phantasy; nor is it a disease, as so many
call it! It is a passion; and, like other passions, can
drive one mad if ungratified. During my first months
in Rome I suffered from acute and morbid nostalgia;
but now I have been home for a while and have come
back almost cured."
"I don't know——," I said; "such nostalgia as I have
felt has been quite harmless."
"Then there must be several kinds, some harmless,
some dangerous," conceded the young lady with a
smile; and she continued rather shyly: "but our whole
existence is one long chain of nostalgia—don't you
think so? The nostalgia of yesterday, the nostalgia
of to-morrow; the longing for what is lost, the yearning
for what can never be attained——"
After this first visit we saw Regina several times. I
liked her, she was so clever and original; but to you she
proved unsympathetic. "I can't see clearly into her
life," you complained to me more than once.
This much we learned about her. Her husband was
far from rich and she had brought him but a slender
dowry, yet they rented a handsome Apartment and
lived almost luxuriously. We, on the other hand, who
worked hard and between us made an income the
double of theirs, were content with the modest life of
poor artists; gladdened indeed—like the careless existence
of the birds building in the laurel below our
windows—by the songs of love and the mere joy of
living and struggling on in good hope of victory.
Remembering, as I minutely do, the whole simple
romance of our early married life—on this day when
we have attained to almost all our hopes (a little by
my good-will, chiefly by your intelligence and activity,
never by stooping to any transaction disapproved by our
conscience)—to you, dear comrade of my work and of
my life, I dedicate this tale. In it the reader will not
find one of those stale themes for which my romances
have been unjustly blamed. It is a simple narrative, a
transcript from life, from this our modern life, so multiform,
so interesting, sometimes so joyous, oftener so
sad; beautiful always as an autumn tree laden with
fruit—some of it rotten,—and with leaves—many of
them already dead.
A simple narrative, I say; so simple that criticism
deeming it a test of my literary powers, hitherto
devoted only to the passions and sorrows of a primitive
society, may deem that I have failed. But such judgment
will not disturb me. This novel has not been
written as a test; and criticism resembles the Exchequer
which almost always taxes us on capital greater than
what we really possess.
Alas! that we cannot contest its terrible authority!
nor make it understand that our patrimony, though
small, is at least our own! If we forced ourselves to
give all it has the audacity to demand, we should not
only ruin ourselves, but to the last remain unsuccessful
in appeasing our creditor.
The November moon illuminated the Campagna—an
immense mother-o'-pearl moon, clear and sad. The
violence of the express train was met by the violence
of a raging wind.
Regina dozed and was dreaming herself still at
home; the rumble of the train seemed the clatter of
the mill upon the Po. Suddenly Antonio's hand
pressed hers and she awoke with a start.
"We are near arriving," said the young husband.
Regina sat up, leaned towards the closed window and
looked out. The glass reflected the interior of the
compartment—the lamp, her own figure wrapped in a
long, light-coloured cloak, her face wan with weariness.
She half-closed her large, short-sighted eyes, and in the
misty moonlight, against the grey background caused
by the reflection of her cloak, she made out the landscape—bluish
undulations fleeting by, a mysterious
pathway, a tree with silver leaves lashed by the wind,
and in the distance a long line of aqueducts, the arches
of which disappeared into the moonlight and seemed
like a row of immense inhospitable doors. This of the
aqueducts was no doubt optical illusion; but Regina,
who had little confidence in her eyes yet was obstinate
in refusing spectacles, felt none the less excited by the
sublime visions she believed herself seeing in the dimness
of the wind-swept window-pane. Rome! she was
filled with childish joy at the mere thought that Rome
was near. Rome! the long-dreamed-of wonder city,
the world's metropolis, the home of all splendours, all
delight—Rome, which was now to become her own!
She forgot everything else; fatigue, mourning for the
dear things lost, trepidation as to her future, fear of
the strangers awaiting her, the embarrassments of the
first days of marriage, all sadness, disappointment,
delusion—all disappeared in the realisation of her long
dream so ardently indulged.
Antonio got up and joined her at the window, which
reflected his fine person—tall, fair, easy in attitude,
dominant in manner. Regina saw—still in the glass—his
long grey eyes looking at her caressingly, his well-shaped
mouth smiling and suggesting a kiss, and she
felt happy, happy, happy!
"Think!" said Antonio, bending over her as if to
confide a secret; "think, my queen! We are at
Rome!"
She did not reply. "Are you thinking of it?" he
insisted.
"Of course I am!"
"Does your heart beat?"
Regina smiled, a trifle contemptuously, not choosing
to let him see all her excitement and delight.
Antonio looked at his watch.
"A quarter of an hour more. If there wasn't such
a wind, I'd make you look out."
"I will. Put down the glass."
"I tell you there's too much wind."
"I'll look out all the same," she said, with the
obstinacy of a spoilt child.
Antonio tried to open the window, but the wind was
really too strong, and Regina changed her mind.
"Shut it up! Shut it up!" she cried.
He obeyed.
"But think! think!" he repeated, "you are at Rome!
They will be just starting for the station," he observed
gravely, and advised her to put on her hat and get
herself ready. "Settle your hair," he said; "and
where have you put the powder?"
"Am I very hideous?" asked Regina, passing her
hand over her face.
She sat down, opened her dressing-bag, smoothed her
hair, powdered her face; then again put on the grey
cloak which Antonio held for her, and buttoned it up.
Her little face emerged from its sable collar as from
a cup. It was pale and tired, all lips and eyes, reminding
one of the pretty little face of a kitten.
"That's all right!" said Antonio, surveying her
adoringly.
Again she rose and leaned against the door. A
long wall was fleeting past the train; then came houses,
hedges, gardens, canes bending under the wind, now
and then lamps flaring yellow in the great whiteness
of the autumn moon.
"San Paolo! The Tiber!" said Antonio, still at
Regina's side.
San Paolo! The Tiber! Regina just perceived the
sheen of the river and her heart beat strongly. Yet,
as often happened to her, after the first moment's wild
delight, a shadow of melancholy diffidence stole over
her soul.
"Yes!" she thought, "Rome! the capital, the wonder
city; where there is no fog, which is full of sunshine
and flowers! But what is there in store for me there?
Young, happy, loved, I have come to throw myself
into the arms of Rome as I have thrown myself into
the arms of Antonio. What will Rome be able to give
me? We are not rich, and the great city is like—like
people, who give little to and care little for those who
are not rich. But we aren't poor either!" she concluded,
comforting herself.
The engine whistled, and Regina started involuntarily.
Behind a wind-blown hedge, straight before
her in the moonlight and the glare of the lamps which
now had multiplied in number, a small house started
into sight for a moment, and vanished as if by magic.
"It might be my home!" she told herself sadly,
remembering the dear maternal nest, planted pleasantly
on the high bank of the Po.
The train shrieked again, beginning to slacken speed.
"Here we are!" said Antonio; and Regina's recollections
dissolved as the apparition of the house had
dissolved a moment before.
After this, notwithstanding her resolution not to be
upset, not to be surprised, but to make calm study of
her own impressions, she became hopelessly bewildered
and saw everything as through a veil.
Antonio was pulling the light luggage down from the
rack; he overturned the bonnet-box containing the
bride's beautiful white hat; she stooped to pick it up,
flushed with dismay, then returned to the window and
rearranged her cloak and fur collar. Lines of monstrous
houses, orange against the velvety blue of the
sky, fleeted by rapidly; the wind abated, the lamps
became innumerable, golden, white, violet—their crude
rays vanquishing the melancholy moonlight. The
glare grew and grew, became magnificent, pervaded an
enclosure into which the train rushed with deafening
roar.
Rome!
Hundreds of intent egotistic faces, illuminated by
the violet brilliance of the electric light, passed before
Regina's agitated gaze. Here and there she distinguished
a few figures, a lady with red hair, a man in a check
suit, a pale girl with a picture hat, a bald gentleman, a
raised stick, a fluttering handkerchief—but she saw
nothing distinctly; she had a strange fancy that this
unnamed alien crowd was a deputation sent to welcome
her—not over-kindly—by the great city to which she
was giving herself.
The carriage doors were thrown violently open, a
babel of human voices resounded above the whistles
and the throbbing of the engines; on the platform
people were running about and jostling each other.
"Roma—a—a!"
"Porter—r—r!"
Antonio was collecting the hand luggage, but Regina
stood gazing at the scene. Many smiling, curious,
anxious persons were still standing in groups before the
carriage doors; others had already escaped and were
disappearing out of the station exit.
"There's no one for us, Antonio," said Regina, a little
surprised; but she had no sooner spoken than she perceived
a knot of persons returning along the platform,
and understood that these were they. She jumped
out and looked harder. Yes, it was they—three men,
one in a light-coloured overcoat; two women, one short
and stout, the other very tall, very thin, her face hidden
in the shadow of her great black hat. The thin lady
held a bouquet of flowers, and her strange figure, tightly
compressed in a long coat of which the mother-o'-pearl
buttons could be seen a mile off, struck Regina at once.
This must be Arduina, her sister-in-law, editress of
a Woman's Rights paper, who had written her two or
three extraordinary letters.
"Mother!" cried Antonio, flinging himself from the
carriage.
Regina found herself on the fat lady's panting bosom;
then she felt the pressure of the buttons she had seen
from afar; in one hand she was holding the bouquet, the
other was clasped by a plump, soft, masculine hand.
The slightly amused voice of Antonio was introducing—
"My brother Mario, clerk in the Board of Control;
my brother Gaspare, clerk at the War Office; my brother
Massimo, junior clerk at the War Office——"
"That's enough," said the last, bowing graciously.
All smiled, but Antonio went on—
"And this is Arduina, the crazy one——"
"Joking as usual!" cried the latter.
"Well, here is Regina, my wife! Here she is! How
are you, Gaspare?"
"Pretty fit. And you? Hungry?"
"Are you very tired, my dear?" asked the trembling
voice of the old lady, her face close to Regina's.
Notwithstanding the scent of the flowers, Regina
could have wished her mother-in-law's lips further off,
and she shuddered involuntarily. In that strange place,
at that late hour, under that metallic, unpleasantly
glaring, electric splendour, all these people, pressed
upon the bride, speaking in an unfamiliar accent and
staring at her with ill-concealed curiosity. She conceived
a dislike to them all. Even Antonio, who at
that moment was more taken up with them than with
his wife, seemed unlike himself, a stranger, a man of
a different race from hers. She felt completely alone,
lost, confused; had presently the sensation of being
carried away, borne along in a wave of the crowd.
Outside she saw a mountain of enormous vehicles
drawn up in line on the shining wood pavement; it
seemed to her made of blue tiles, and on the damp air
she fancied the scent of a forest. The electric light
blinded her short-sighted eyes; she thought she saw
the forest in the distance, a line of trees black against
the steely sky; and the violet globes of the lamps
suggested in the heart of those black trees some sort of
miraculous burning fruit. There was magic in the late
hour, in the vastness of the enclosure bounded by the
imaginary wood; the people silently lost themselves and
disappeared as into a wet and shining morass.
"Let's walk—it's quite close," said Antonio, taking
her arm. "Well! it's pretty big, isn't it, this station
yard?"
"It is big!" she responded, genuinely astonished;
"but it's been raining here, hasn't it? How lovely it
all is!"
Regina felt happy again, at Antonio's side, squeezed
up against him by the large and panting person of her
mother-in-law. Yes, certainly! Rome was the dream-city,
full of gardens, fountains, sublime buildings; a
city great and splendid by day and by night! She felt
joyous as if she had drunk wine; she chattered with
feverish animation. Never afterwards did she succeed
in remembering what she said in that first hour of
arrival; she did remember that her pleasure was marred
by the panting and sighing of her mother-in-law, by
Arduina's silly laughter, by the talk of the brothers who
stepped just behind her, arguing about trifles.
Antonio had requested his family not to announce
his arrival to the more distant relations; however, no
sooner had they got to Via Torino and the great palace
in which the Venutellis lived on the fourth and fifth
floors, than the panting old lady confessed—
"Clara and her girl are here. They came in to spend
the evening, and we couldn't get rid of them. They
guessed, you see."
"The deuce!" said Antonio; "never mind, I'll soon
pack them off for you!"
The gas was lighted, and Regina was impressed by
the grand entrance hall and the marble staircase, which
seemed continuation of the splendours she had found in
piazza and street.
"Courage, my queen!" said Antonio; "this is a
veritable Jacob's ladder! Go on in front, you fellows!"
The three men and Arduina pressed forward with the
nimbleness of habit; Regina herself tried to run, but
she soon got tired and out of breath.
"These stairs are the death of me!" sighed the
mother-in-law; "ah! my dear child, I did not always
live on a fourth floor!"
Regina was not listening. Cries, laughter, exclamations,
a merry uproar, rang from the top of the stair;—then
came a whirlwind, a rustle, a whiff of scent, a vision
of flounces, chains, lace, yellow hair, which overwhelmed
and nearly overturned the bride, the bridegroom, and
the old lady.
"Mind you don't break your neck, Claretta, my dear!"
cried Antonio.
The lovely being clasped Regina tight in her fragrant
arms, covering her with impassioned kisses.
"Dearest! Welcome! Welcome, dearest! A thousand
good wishes and congratulations! Mamma is up there
waiting for you!"
"Pray reserve some kisses for me!" said Antonio,
dryly.
Claretta, without ado, kissed him rapidly on the
cheek; then again seized Regina's hand, and drew her
up and up, shouting and laughing, tall, rustling, fragrant,
elegant. Regina followed, a little envious, even jealous,
but childishly bewitched by so much easy loveliness.
Claretta, filling the whole stair with her cries and peals
of laughter, almost carried the bride, brought her into
the drawing-room, threw her on the soft bosom of fat
Aunt Clara, and then herself dragged her through the
whole Apartment on a tour of inspection. The rooms
were lighted by gas, and all the furniture was polished
and smelly with paraffin: space everywhere was narrow
and choked up with furniture, coarse draperies, jute
carpets, crochet work, great cushions embroidered in
wool, Japanese fans and umbrellas. In some of the
rooms it was impossible to move. Regina's throat was
caught by a feeling of suffocation. The remembrance
of her beautiful country home, of its large rooms, so
sunny and so simple, assailed her with an anguish of
tenderness. To comfort herself she had to say to
Claretta—
"We shall only stay here till we've found a nice
Apartment for ourselves. That'll be easy, won't
it?"
"Not so very easy. The foreigners come down on
Rome like a swarm of locusts."
This was the discouraging reply of the cousin, who
stopped before every mirror to admire herself, bending
this way and that, and talking loud that the young men
in the dining-room might hear her.
"Here! this is your own room, your nid d'amour, you
birds of passage!" she said, taking Regina into a corner
room, where they found Antonio, his mother, Arduina,
the maid-servant, and the portmanteaux.
The room was large, but had an oppressively low
ceiling, painted grey with vulgar blue arabesques; three
windows, one close to the foot of the bed, were smothered
in heavy draperies, and the massive bed itself was
burdened with huge pillows and counterpanes. The
bridal trunks and portmanteaux completed the barricade,
and Regina's sense of asphyxia perceptibly increased.
Silent and sad she surveyed the ugly room; she seemed
lost in some painful dream, in some strange prison
where everything fettered and mortally oppressed her.
Oh dear! all these people! These women, who surrounded,
crushed, smothered her! Tired and sleepy,
her physical irritability made itself almost morbidly felt
at the touch of all these unknown, inquisitive, cruel
people. She was yearning for solitude and repose; at
any rate she wanted to wash, dress, rearrange her hair.
They did not leave her a moment alone. Claretta had
no notion of forsaking the looking-glass; Arduina, on
the look out for copy, catechised her about her impressions;
the mother-in-law never stopped staring
with lachrymose eyes.
Regina took off her hat and cloak; her little face,
all eyes and lips, seemed pale and frightened under the
waves of her hair, black, abundant and curly. Antonio
was paying no heed to his bride; he arranged the
luggage, and asked his mother news of this one and
that. The old lady puffed and sighed, and answered
his questions, but never took her eyes off the new
daughter-in-law.
"Where shall I wash my hands?" asked Regina.
Her warm brown eyes, generally velvety and sweet,
were now drooping with fatigue, and in expression
almost wild.
"Here!" cried Arduina, precipitating herself on the
washstand, "you'll find everything here, dear! soap,
powder, comb—What sort of soap do you like?"
Regina did not answer. Mechanically she washed
herself, accepting the towel which her sister-in-law
presented, and smoothed her hair, stooping to look in
the low looking-glass.
"Sit down," said Arduina, setting a chair, "you can't
see like that."
"No, I can't see sitting; I'm short-sighted," said
Regina, with increasing irritation.
This piece of news plunged the ladies into consternation.
Claretta actually turned her back on the glass;
Signora Anna, who was examining the lining of Regina's
cloak, looked up almost in tears; Arduina studied her
sister-in-law's beautiful orbs with astonishment.
"Short-sighted? With such lovely eyes! and so
young!" exclaimed the old lady.
"Have you eye-glasses?" asked Claretta.
"Yes, but they're no good. I hate them."
"They're very chic though," said Arduina. "My
dear, do loosen your hair at your temples—it's too
dragged. What splendid hair you have! I'll do it for
you to-morrow. Wait a moment—" and she raised her
hand; but the bride's little head, which seemed so small
and insignificant, shook itself fiercely.
"No, no. It will do well enough," she said.
Her tone admitted of no reply; and the authoress
understood that Regina was a commanding creature
of a superior race. For this reason she looked at her
with pitying tenderness and compassionate admiration.
Struck by this look, Regina for the first time noticed
her sister-in-law, whom Antonio had described as a fool.
Arduina was tall, with a narrow chest and a countenance
of yellowish wood. She had small, colourless, frightened
eyes, thin lips with discoloured teeth, and three curls of
pale hair. She was singularly plain, and now Regina
perceived further that she was melancholy and enslaved.
But this produced no pity in the bride, rather a sense
of malicious consolation. In this odious world into
which she had stepped through the door of the Apartment,
there were victims like Arduina, in comparison
with whom she was an empress! All this passed
through her mind during the few minutes in which she
was settling her hair in the presence of the three staring
women.
Antonio at last noticed his bride's annoyance, and
sent the ladies away, pushing his cousins out familiarly.
"Be so kind as to take yourselves off. I don't
require your assistance at my toilette. Go away.
Make haste. We want rest."
"You can sleep all to-morrow. It's going to rain,"
said his mother.
"Let us hope not."
"I expect it will."
"Bother the weather prophets!" said Regina.
At last the women were gone; and in an instant
Antonio was by Regina's side, kissing her, leaning his
face against her troubled one, and saying in his caressing
voice—
"Cheer up; don't be so depressed! You shall just
eat a mouthful and then get at once to bed. To-morrow
we'll escape—we'll go out by ourselves. We won't let
them bore us. Cheer up!"
He put his arm round her and drew her to the dining-room,
humming a merry tune—
"Mousey doesn't care for cream,
Mousey wants to marry the Queen;
If the King won't let her go,
Mousey'll break his bones, you know."
But Regina had no smiles left.
Scarcely was she seated on one of the comfortless
Vienna chairs which surrounded the overburdened table
than she felt her back broken and her eyelids weighed
down by the whole fatigue of the journey. Again she
seemed in a bad dream, looking through a veil at a
picture of vulgar figures. Yes, vulgar the face of her
mother-in-law—fat, red, puffy, outlined by the hard line
of hair, over-shiny and over-black for nature; vulgar
that of Mario, which was much like his mother's, with
the same small blue eyes, the same mouth hanging
half-open as he breathed slowly and noisily; vulgar,
again, the face of Gaspare—rosy all over, hairless below
the shining line of his bald forehead; and that of
Massimo, who was dandified but decadent, something
like Antonio, but with long, reddish, oily hair and bold
grey eyes. Claretta herself was vulgar; the very type
of a bourgeois beauty. Without understanding why,
Regina remembered the crowds half-seen at the passing
stations and on the Roman platform; the faces now
surrounding her stood out from the confusion of those
unnoticed ones, but themselves belonged to the crowd,
and were no better than the crowd. A whole world
separated her from them.
Notwithstanding the hour and Antonio's promise of
dispatch, the supper lasted an immense time. It was
served by a strapping, fair-haired girl in a pink blouse,
who never took her astonished eyes from the bride's
face, and every moment tripped and stumbled, as if
determined to break something.
This figure which came and went seemed the
principal one of the picture. Every one watched the
girl and talked to her. Signora Anna started every
time she opened the door.
Even Antonio addressed her.
"Well, Marina, and how are all the sweethearts?" he
asked; and added, indicating Regina, "are you satisfied?
Which is the prettier, she or Signora Arduina?"
Marina blushed, giggled, ran away, and did not
return.
Presently Gaspare rose gravely, threw his napkin
over his shoulder, and went in search of her. An
altercation was heard in the kitchen. Then Gaspare
returned, wrathful and very red.
"Mother, the mutton is burnt!" he announced
tragically; "you must go and see after it."
The old lady groaned, got up, went out, came back—and
did not stay quiet for another moment!
"Mother!" implored Antonio, "do sit down!"
"Mother!" urged Gaspare, still wrathful, "go and
look after her!"
"Oh, these servants!" said the mother-in-law,
turning to Regina, "one shouldn't mention them, I
know, but they're the ruin of families. I'll tell you
afterwards——"
"It's one of the gravest of social problems," said
Massimo, sarcastically, looking straight before him.
"But one can't live without servants," cried Gaspare.
"Yet the servants are the death of you?"
"Oh, I'll be the death of them if they don't do their
business," said Gaspare, and they all laughed.
Notwithstanding the old lady's irruptions into the
kitchen the courses were a long time coming. Talk
grew animated. Massimo chattered with the cousin;
Signora Anna expatiated to Signora Clara on the
delinquencies of the maid.
"How are you getting on with your Gigione?"
Antonio asked Gaspare; and his brother replied, abusing
his chief as he had abused Marina.
"Did you get my last letter?" Arduina demanded of
Regina, under cover of the general noise.
"Which?"
"The one in which I asked information about the
state of private benevolence in Mantua."
"Oh, pray leave her in peace," interrupted Antonio
testily.
Regina thought of her old home, of the beautiful
picture seen through the window of the great dining-parlour,
the woods, the silver river sparkling in the
summer sunshine—all lost! The actual picture of the
woods, and the painted picture above the chimneypiece,
a river scene by Baratta, showing the green banks of
the Parma, and white boats against a violet sky—all
vanished—vanished for ever! Seated on this back-breaking
chair, among all these people who chattered of
vulgar things, dismay again invaded her soul, the dismay
felt by the condemned at the thought of association
with his fellow-prisoners. Antonio paid her little
attention; he was sucked into the current of his
brothers' talk and had become a stranger to her.
Again he made some jest at Arduina's expense; the
maid looked at the ladies and laughed. Indeed, they
all laughed. Why did they laugh? Was happiness
making Antonio cruel? His brother Mario—a man no
longer young, who seldom spoke, but always reddened
when he heard his thought expressed by somebody
else—detested, as they all knew, his wife's scribbling
mania. So Antonio persisted in questioning his sister-in-law
about her newspaper, The Future of Woman.
"It has reached a circulation of three copies," said
Massimo, "and it's clearly anxious to provoke quarrels,
for it has printed a sonnet from a Calabrian paper
without leave."
"My goodness! how witty you are!" cried Arduina,
laughing, but her whole face expressed a vague terror.
Sor Mario, his eyes on his plate, grunted and munched
like an angry bullock. There followed a perfect explosion
of childish cruelty towards the poor creature, who,
even to Regina, suggested a caricature.
"I've never succeeded in discovering the office of her
paper," said Claretta; "one ought to be able to go
there if only to find the editor."
"There are plenty of editors in the street," answered
Arduina; "a girl like you could find one anywhere."
"I don't see the sense of that!" cried Gaspare.
"We never expect you to see the sense of anything."
"Come, show sense yourself!" interposed her husband,
threatening her with his fork.
"Are you in the Woman Movement, Regina?"
some one asked.
"I? No!" answered the bride, as if starting from
a dream. Then, wishing to defend her sister-in-law,
less out of pity for her than out of dislike to the
brothers, she added, "Perhaps Arduina will convert
me."
"Antonio! get out your stick!" cried Gaspare, and
again they all laughed.
The topic changed. They discussed a certain Madame
Makuline, a Russian princess long resident in
Rome, to whom Antonio had been introduced by
Arduina, and who occasionally employed him in the
administration of her affairs.
"She should give a wedding present to Regina," said
the authoress; "I expect her to dinner to-morrow; will
you two come?"
This intelligence somewhat restored Arduina's prestige,
and Regina breathed more freely. The conversation
ran on countesses and duchesses; Claretta cried, turning
to Massimo—
"Oh, now I remember! You were seen yesterday——"
"Wasn't I seen to-day?"
"——running after Donna Maria del Carro's carriage.
It was raining, and you had no umbrella."
"That's why I ran," he said, flattered and pleased.
"No, my dear boy; you ran after the carriage."
"Why?" asked the innocent Regina.
"How sweet you are!" said the cousin. "He ran to
be seen, of course! The Marchesa del Carro likes
handsome young men, even when she doesn't know
them."
"Thank you very much," said Massimo, making a
bow.
Then they all got excited and talked of innumerable
titled persons of their acquaintance, telling their "lives
and miracles." Signora Clara, not to be left out, was
insistent in describing the reception costume of a
countess.
Regina listened. She did not confess it to herself,
but she was certainly pleased that her new relations
had friends among the aristocracy.
At last they arrived at the coffee, and Signora Anna
turned to Regina intending to say something pleasant.
"I expect you miss your Mamma," she began;
"you can't get accustomed to the idea of a second
mother."
But she was interrupted by Gaspare, who came from
a second inspection of the kitchen.
"My dear mother, just come and look. Come!" he
insisted, flicking the corner of his napkin, "there's a
flood in the kitchen. She has left the tap running."
The old lady had to get up; panting and puffing she
followed her son to the kitchen. Presently Marina was
heard sobbing.
"The man's unbearable!" said Arduina; "is that
poor girl a slave? From the point of view of——"
"From the social point of view—" suggested Massimo.
"Pardon me," observed Aunt Clara, "she left the tap
running."
"If ever I marry a man who meddles in the kitchen,"
said Claretta, tightening her sash at the looking-glass,
"I'll give him—from the social point of view—such a
hiding——"
"I too!" agreed the authoress.
Sor Mario, who was picking his teeth ferociously,
uttered a grunt.
Signora Anna came back followed by Marina, her
eyes red, her lips quivering.
"Pooh! don't cry!" said Massimo, "it makes a fright
of you. If the pastrycook saw you now——"
"What, is it a pastrycook this time?" joked Antonio.
"Yes; his name's Stanislao."
"But when I went away it was a penny-a-liner!"
"I got rid of him. For more than three months I
had no one," declared Marina, all smiles again.
"Brava!" said Claretta, "that's the best plan.
Have you had a great many?"
"Four. No—five, counting the first. He was
Peppino. He was an official."
"Good gracious! Where?"
"At Campo Verano."
"Oh! Did he perhaps dig there?"
"Yes," said the girl, simply.
They all burst out laughing, and again Regina felt
choked.
Were they always like this in this house? Even
Antonio, her Antonio, who was always gay, but with
her never had shown himself vulgar—even he appeared
in a new light.
Suddenly, however, while Signora Clara was repeating
her description of the countess's dress, Regina saw her
husband looking at her with distressed eyes, and she
knew that her brows must have been contracted in a
frown. He got up, came over, and stroked her hair.
"It's time for bed now. You're tired, aren't you?"
he whispered, his voice almost supplicating.
Regina rose. Arduina and Claretta thought it
necessary to run after her, embracing and kissing her.
When they had conducted her to the bedroom, they
kissed her again.
Now she was alone with Antonio, and great was her
relief. But alas! the door opened immediately, and in
came the mother-in-law.
"What is it?" asked Regina, dismayed; and she
threw herself on one of the immense, encumbering
arm-chairs, and closed her eyes.
Signora Anna, sighing as usual, advanced to the bed.
"Oh!" she exclaimed, in accents of tragedy, "these
maids, now-a-days, know nothing of their business!
They have no heads. Forgive me, my dearest child——"
"What on earth has happened?" asked Antonio,
half undressed.
"She hasn't turned down the bed!" cried the poor
lady, attacking the pillows with her fat and trembling
arms.
She fussed about, altered all the blankets, tidied the
dressing-table, examined the jugs. Regina was waiting
to undress; but as the old lady would not go away, she
leaned back in the arm-chair, her eyes still closed, her
hands folded in her lap. She listened to her mother-in-law's
uncertain step and panting breath; and she
thought with anguish of to-morrow.
"And the morrow of that, and the next day, and for
ever and ever, I shall have to put up with these people!
It's awful!"
"Where are your things?" asked Antonio, in his
pyjamas.
Regina opened her eyes, got up hastily, and searched
her portmanteau. Lo! behind her the heavy panting
of the old lady!
"Let me, dear child! You go and undress. I'll find
everything for you."
"No, no!" said Regina, vexed, "I'll do it myself."
"Leave it all to me. Go and undress."
"No!"
"There's nothing for me but to dance!" said Antonio,
cutting capers; he was well made, and agile as a clown.
"My dear daughter! what are you thinking of?
That's a petticoat, not a night-dress! This? Surely
that's one of Antonio's flannel shirts? Ah! a flannel
night-dress! Dear me! doesn't it tickle you? But I
believe it's very cold in your part of the country. It's
cold here, too, when the tramontana blows. The
tramontana blows for three days at a time. Dear!
what lovely embroidery! Did you do it yourself?
Listen——"
But Regina could listen no longer. Rage possessed
her, while the old lady rummaged in the portmanteau,
examining everything with the greatest curiosity.
Antonio was waltzing round the arm-chair; he suddenly
seized Regina, and whirled her away with him.
"Oh!" she exclaimed, with a cry of suffering protest,
"it's time now to leave me in peace!"
The hint was lost upon the old lady. She put
everything straight in the portmanteau, then came to
Regina and embraced her lengthily.
At last she did take herself off, and at last Regina
was really alone with her husband, but it was too late
for her to feel great comfort in the fact. She undressed
and got into bed; into the huge, solid bed, hard, and
wide and cold as the bed of a river! She felt shipwrecked;
around her floated gaping trunks, boxes,
curtains, unpleasing furniture; above beetled the grey
ceiling, overwhelming as a rainy sky. Confused noises,
vibrations in the silence of night, penetrated from the
distance, from some unknown and mysterious place.
Arduina's foolish laughter, Claretta's hysterical shrieks,
echoed on in the next room. And above these, above
all voices far and near, sounded a melancholy whistle,
the sibilant lament of some nocturnal train, which
seemed to Regina a voice out of other times from a
distant place, a cry which called, invited, implored her
to—what? She did not know, did not remember; but
she was sure she knew that cry, that it had once told
her something wonderful, that it was sounding now
only for her, having sought her out in the night of the
vast, unknown city;—that it was repeating to her
things wild, sweet, lacerating——
"At last!" said Antonio, embracing her. "This bed
is a limitless desert! Where are you? Oh, what little
cold hands! You're trembling! Are you cold?"
"No."
"Then why do you tremble?" he asked, in another
tone; "are you not happy, Regina?"
She made no answer.
"Are you not happy?"
"I'm tired," she said, her eyes shut; "I still feel the
shake of the train. Do you hear that whistle?"
"Ah!" she went on, as if speaking in a dream, "I
know it now! It's the whistle of the little steamer on
the Po! Ah! let us start!"
"We have hardly arrived, and already you want to
go?" he said, his voice half jesting, half bitter.
She made no response. He thought she slept, and
kept motionless for fear of waking her. But presently
he heard her laugh and felt quite cheered.
"What's the matter?" he asked, fondling her hand,
which was beginning to grow warm.
"That official—was a gravedigger!" she murmured,
still dreaming; "if my sister Toscana had been here
how she would have laughed!"
"She's still in that old home of hers!" thought
Antonio jealously.
Long afterwards he confided to Regina that that
night he had been unable to sleep. He wanted to ask
how she liked his mother and the rest, but dared not
put the question, guessing intuitively that she would
not answer him sincerely.
He, too, heard the whistle which had reached the
half-slumbering Regina, and had lulled her in memories
and hope.
"Go? Is she already dreaming of going?" he
thought, bitterly; and remembered, not without resentment,
her cold, sad, now and then contemptuous
manner during those first hours of communion with her
new relatives. Yet he could not but feel the measureless
distance which divided those relatives from the
thoughtful, delicate creature of a superior race whom
he had dared to marry.
"But she knew all about it!" he reflected; "I had
told her everything. I said to her: We're a family of
working people, descended from working people. My
mother is just the housewife, my sister-in-law is a
harmless lunatic. She said she did not care—she loved
me, and that was enough. Then what more does she
want?"
He had a foolish desire to push her away, to distance
her from himself in that great, limitless bed; but she
was so fragile, so slight, so cold, lying like a dead thing
on his warm, pulsing breast!
"I've been wrong in bringing her here! I ought to
have prepared our own nest, and taken her there at
once. She's like an uprooted flower which must be
planted at once in an adapted soil."
He looked at her with profound tenderness, and
remained motionless, lest he should disturb the slumber
which had descended on her homesickness and fatigue.
CHAPTER II
On waking next morning Regina found herself alone
in the big hard bed.
It was raining; the room was oppressed by a grey,
melancholy twilight which seemed thrown from the
ceiling. Vehicles were already rolling in the street;
screaming trams passed by; there was continued howling
of tempestuous wind, the whole making on Regina
an impression of unutterable dreariness. The luminous
city of her dreams seemed pervaded by this howling
wind through which resounded a thousand other voices;
a ceaseless booming of toilsome life, dismal under
eternal rain.
Presently she looked at the room, screwing up her
eyes to distinguish the various objects. The grey ceiling,
the three grey windows, especially that one at
the foot of the bed, were positively funereal; the
rough linen of the sheets and pillow-case, the coarse
embroidery of their adornment filled her with horror.
And Antonio, where was he? In her ill-humour
Regina resented his having risen silently so as not to
wake her, his having left her alone in the immensity of
that strange bed; but almost immediately the door was
gently pushed open and Antonio looked in.
"There they are, her big eyes!" he said gaily, and
came over hurriedly to kiss her lips; "so you've come
to, little one, have you? Are you awake?"
"I think so," she murmured rather hoarsely, and
threw her arm round his neck. "Is it raining?"
"Yes; it's raining needlessly hard!" he said, heaving
an exaggerated sigh, "but it will soon leave off."
"Let us hope so! Open the shutters!"
He moved to obey. "This is Sunday; don't you
know that in Rome it always rains on Sunday?—result
of the Papal curse! Never mind. It will leave off. I
assure you it will! Stay in bed a little longer. I'll ring
for your coffee."
"No, no!" she cried, terrified lest the summons
should bring her mother-in-law; "I'll get up at once!
I'm anxious to write home."
"We'll go out the moment the rain stops," said Antonio.
"If you don't mind we'll take Gaspare with us. He
knows all about archæology. We'll go to the Forum."
"To the Forum!" she echoed, her eyes sparkling
with revival of joy.
"Yes, my dear—to the Forum. Think of that! To
the Forum! Have you realised where you are?"
She smiled at him without answering. He had
changed his costume, was wearing a shining collar, a
beautiful green tie, had curled his moustache. He was
fresh, fragrant, very handsome. Light had come in
with him, love, joy. Regina pulled him down to her,
kissed his hair, which she said smelt of "burnt flowers,"
pretended to whisper something in his ear, and made
instead a childish shout. He jumped in feigned terror,
threatened her and shook her. They laughed, they
played, they forgot everything but their own felicity.
"Where have you awaked, levrottin?" (leveret), he
asked, using one of the pretty pet names he had learned
in her country, where he had been for three months on
a Royal Commission; "where are you? This time
yesterday we were at Parma; to-day we are here.
Think, what a distance! And three months ago we
didn't so much as know each other! Do you remember
the first day we made friends on the river-bank? And
that great crimson sun behind the woods? The Master
kept looking at us and smiling; he knew we'd have to
get married!"
"'Here is the Signor Antonio Venutelli, junior clerk at
the Treasury, and here is the noble Signorina Regina
Tagliamari,'" continued Antonio, imitating the nasal
voice of the school-master who had arranged their introduction;
"'she is a real queen of goodness and of genius,
fit to reign in the Eternal City, in unequalled Rome.'"
"Poor old man!" said Regina, more gravely. "Yes,
we certainly owe our meeting to him."
"And what do you suppose they'd say in your home,
now? They'd say, 'Regina is in Rome, and she's still in
bed, the little sluggard, and she hasn't even been to Mass,
the little heathen! Fancy being in Rome and not going
to Mass!'"
"But look here!" she began, clapping her hands and
imitating her husband's mock-heroic tone. However
she was no longer merry. A sweet vision had melted
her heart. She saw her mother—her dear, delicate
mother, her pretty sister, her youngest brother, her
darling, all starting for the nine o'clock Mass. The
house on the river-bank was deserted. It stood among
poplar-trees veiled in mist, like a fancy house in the
background of a stage picture. Inside a fire burned on
the great hearth, the black cat sat contemplating the
flames, the Baratta painting was illuminated with
grey and rosy tints which gave it a suggestive relief.
The sound of a bell, singularly pure in tone, was dying
on the still air in metallic vibrations; the northern
landscape, with the great river winding along like an
immense blue vein in the whiteness of that snowy plain,
was spread out under the vaporous heaven. Silence—mysterious
immensity—the mist of dream!
But this nostalgic vision, which gave her a melancholy
pleasure seen thus under the caresses of him for whom
she had abandoned all, was snatched from her by the
entrance of Signora Anna. The old lady, round and
enormous in her red flannel dressing-gown, her hair
already dressed, and blacker and oilier than yesterday,
advanced with circumspection, puffing and panting as
was her wont. Regina blushed, removed her arms from
Antonio's neck, and covered herself hastily.
"Why so?" said the young man, taking the coverlet
away, "show your lovely little arms at once! Look,
mother! see how white my Regina is!"
"No, no! let me alone!" said the girl, hiding under
the sheet. But the old lady came nearer, helped
Antonio to unbutton the wrist of Regina's jacket, and
passed an approving finger over the bride's white and
child-like arm.
"Upon my word!" she exclaimed, "you are really
lovely!"
"Oh, dear me! Do please let me alone!" said
Regina, flattered all the same.
"Isn't she lovely? Isn't she?" insisted Antonio,
kissing the fair arms.
"Lovely! Very well made indeed! Brava!" said
the mother-in-law, almost as if Regina had made
herself. "And indeed I was white and shapely enough
myself once," she went on; "now I'm an old woman,
but in my day I was very much admired, I assure
you!"
"Well really!" thought Regina, looking at her
mother-in-law's thick hands, brown, chapped, smelling
of garlic, and very unlike the blue-veined whiteness of
her own delicate members.
"Won't you have some coffee? Do you take it with
milk? I'll go and get the coffee and the milk—a little
scalded cream—whipped eggs?"
"Get up! Get up!" said Antonio, "the rain's
stopping. Let's go out!"
"You're not going to take her out in this weather!"
protested the mother-in-law. "You're insane! She
shall stay in bed. When I was a girl" (she turned to
Regina), "I always stayed in bed the whole morning.
But those days were different. The servants then were
faithful, sensible, active, and the mistress could do the
lady even if she wasn't one—thank heaven, I could."
"So you can now. What's to hinder you?" said
Regina politely.
"Goodness me! What! with such maids as we
get now? Dishonest, untruthful, ungrateful hussies!
They're the torment of one's existence. There was
a time when I loved my servants just as if they were
members of the family; now I don't love them at all.
They don't deserve it. This girl I have now makes
me sick with the worries she causes me."
"Get up! Get up!" repeated Antonio.
But Regina would not stir till she was left alone.
Then she jumped out of bed, and, clad in her long
white nightgown, stood disconsolately looking at the
chaos of objects in the room and at the grey light
which penetrated by the three doleful windows. She
made also the sad discovery that at Rome it was colder
than in her own north country! She washed, dressed,
and did her hair awkwardly. Everything was inconvenient
from the washstand to the looking-glass, the
latter a panel in the wardrobe draped with a heavy
curtain. Having tucked this up she saw herself in the
glass; pale, worn out, ugly. Her depression reasserted
itself.
She was long in appearing, and at last Antonio came
to look for her. She had peevishly pulled up all the
blinds, tucked away all the curtains, and was engaged
settling the things in her trunk.
"What on earth are you about?" he asked a little
impatiently; and, taking her hand, led her to the dining-room,
where Signora Anna was waiting at a table laid
for two, but groaning under food sufficient for ten.
"I only want a drop of black coffee," said Regina.
"Only black coffee? My dear, you are crazy—so to
speak—I don't mean any offence. But, you know, one
must eat at Rome! Here is the black coffee. A little
brandy in it?"
"No, thanks. It doesn't agree with me."
"Just try. You'll like it, I'm sure."
"No, no!"
"Yes, yes! If you don't mean to vex me——"
She had to take the brandy in the coffee, and then
café au lait; and cream, and bread and butter, and
biscuits, and the whipped eggs. At last tears rose in
her eyes, so overwhelmed was she by her mother-in-law's
insistence. By way of comfort Signora Anna at
once offered a basin of broth and the wing of a roast
chicken.
"But you're trying to kill me!" cried the girl,
jesting, though desperate. Antonio laughed, and ate
heartily.
Fortunately an alarming noise was heard in the
kitchen, and the Signora ran, much agitated and tripping
over her red dressing-gown. Regina seized the
opportunity and fled to her room.
She put on a beautiful white scarf and a black hat
with a pink ribbon, which she thought very smart;
powdered herself carefully, and imagined every one was
going to admire her as they did at home.
"Behold how lovely my Regina is!" said Antonio,
half serious, half amused; "and just you look at her
hat!"
Gaspare, buttoned up in his new great-coat, fat,
heavy, rosy and pompous, was waiting at the dining-room
door. He looked at Regina out of the corner of
his eye, then saluted her and said gravely—
"Your hat is like a swallow's nest."
"I'd like to hear what you know about hats, when you
know nothing about women," said Antonio.
"I shall never marry," declared Gaspare; "but if I
should be overtaken by such unhappiness, at least my
wife shall not make herself ridiculous."
"Ridiculous?" retorted Regina. "Who? the unhappy
one?"
Gaspare deigned no reply. They started.
Regina never forgave her husband for taking Gaspare
with them on this their first walk through Rome.
"We'll go down Via Cavour to the Forum, and come
back by Piazza Venezia and Via Nazionale," proposed
Antonio, consulting his watch; "it's late already."
The weather had cleared. Great drops of shining
water fell from the trees in the Via Torino gardens.
Santa Maria Maggiore, rose-coloured and grey against
the blue sky, towered like a mountain above her broad
flight of rain-washed steps. Gaspare pointed to the
church with his umbrella and named it. Regina
looked indifferently; the edifice seemed to her ugly.
They went down Via Cavour. The wood pavement
was drying rapidly, and Regina naïvely remarked that
it wasn't polished as she had supposed last night.
"I should hope not!" said Gaspare, who dropped
behind now and then to hawk and spit. "What extraordinary
things women do suppose! The very opposite
of the facts!"
"Men too," retorted Regina.
"Men oftener than women," added Antonio, gallantly.
"Eh! Possibly. Sometimes," said Gaspare, with a
disagreeable smile.
Gaspare's rude manners offended Regina, though she
had been warned he was "quite a character." Presently,
however, she forgot him, and became absorbed in contemplation
of the new things she was seeing.
People passed rapidly along the pavements, umbrellas
under their arms; vivid light poured from the blue sky
still furrowed by metallic clouds; through the bright
moist air strayed the smell of roasted chestnuts. Yes!
this wide, brilliant street was really fine! In a shop
window were exhibited five astonishing hats, which
Regina admired more than Santa Maria Maggiore.
But presently the brothers made her deviate into a
lane, dismal with old houses and old gardens hanging
under high bastion-like walls, which went up and down,
where there were no pavements, no shops, only a dirty
crowd of hawkers, herb-sellers, street arabs. They
walked on and on, but this melancholy street seemed
endless. Regina grew tired; she leaned on Antonio's
arm, and began again to feel a dull weight of sadness.
Was this Rome?
The brothers made the blunder of supposing that
Regina could walk as far as they. They dragged her
on to the Forum, where, her eyes blinded by fatigue,
she saw no more than a field of drenched ruins, a
sorrow-stricken place, a cemetery over which the
metallic clouds brooded, hiding the blue heaven and
wrapping arches and columns in veils of doleful shade.
Gaspare discoursed learnedly, but she did not listen.
The tragic solitude of the vast graveyard was profaned
by a great number of persons with eye-glasses and
English gowns girded up with pins and dress-fasteners.
The columns and the glorious fragments, still soaked
with rain, seemed to Regina gigantic marble bones,
exhumed by a nation of inquisitive children who
amused themselves desecrating this stupendous sepulchre
of a dead civilisation.
From the Forum they moved homewards towards
Piazza Venezia. It was almost noon; the crowds took
the trams by assault; a broad river of smartly-dressed
women came down Via Nazionale, spread over the
Piazza, and went up the Corso. A confused noise of
trams, motors, carriages, human voices, sounded on the
air which was still damp, but illuminated by changing
light from between the clouds. Regina felt a kind of
vertigo. She, who could see little that was distant,
began to see even the near things confusedly. The
incessant rumble of a thousand noises, among which the
motors emitted roars like rampant wild beasts, gave her
a vague sensation of terror. She fixed her wide eyes
on the crowd, fascinated by the coming and going as by
the flowing of a stream. She looked up and saw a network
of telephone wires hiding the sky, which renewed
her feeling of oppression; and yet, though tired and
overwhelmed, she would not admit herself wondering
or surprised. The elegance of the women certainly
struck her. She felt envious, but also displeased. It
was impossible there could be so many shapely and
handsome women! They must be painted and padded!
Oh, she knew very well! She knew how much corruption,
falsity, hidden misery, that crowd carried within
itself, the first contact with which on that uncertain
autumn morning under the network of metallic threads
awoke in her a mysterious sentiment of aversion and
pity. Antonio fixed enamoured eyes on his bride's
face; but those enamoured eyes failed to perceive the
apathy of fatigue which was showing more and more
plainly on the beloved features.
"Let's take a carriage," he suggested.
"Why not the tram?" asked Gaspare.
Antonio said the carriage would be quicker, but really
he wanted at least for the first day to treat his Regina
royally. Gaspare argued for the tram.
"Let's walk," said Regina.
"Walk? When we can't get you along?" exclaimed
the brother-in-law.
"Then we'll have the carriage," said Regina to spite
him.
"Oh, I see! We've become aristocrats!" said the
misogynist.
They found a carriage and drove up Via Nazionale,
now beginning to empty and a little somnolent. It
appeared immense under the white light of a heaven
which had become all silver. In the distant and
vaporous background of Piazza Termini, the fountains
looked like huge crystal flowers. The great street was
a thing of exquisite beauty at that hour, under that
tender and melancholy sky, with that grand yet delicate
background. Antonio looked at his wife, hoping at last
to find a ray of admiration in her bewildered eyes.
But the great eyes, shadowed and full of weariness,
were only following the floating flags, and did not notice
the grandeur and beauty of the splendid street. At
Via Napoli he said—
"Let's throw a glance into those cross-streets. We'll
perhaps find our street, Regianotta!"
"It would take me three months to recognise it. I
don't know what to look out for."
"But you aren't observing!"
"Very likely not. What's the good of observing?"
"What's the good of having eyes?" put in Gaspare.
"Yes, what's the good? One generally blunders
with them."
Gaspare did not appear to understand. He merely
spat, and reflected that women are all either fools or
flirts.
From that day out, he classed Regina with what he
called the "avalanche" of fool-women. She was like
Arduina, like Marina the maid, like other women of his
acquaintance. Supreme and reciprocal contempt
reigned for their whole life between this brother and
sister-in-law.
They came in, and Signora Anna declared the lunch
"Ready, ready!" yet kept them waiting for half-an-hour.
Regina had to give minute descriptions of
everything she had seen. The three brothers argued
about politics, their ideas being widely apart. Gaspare
was a "forcaiuolo"[1] of the first water, uncompromising
and cruel; Massimo was a Tolstoyan Socialist, as much
against war as his brother was against liberty; Antonio
was Liberal and a little opportunist. Signora Anna
made excursions into her sons' conversation in a
manner peculiar to herself. No matter what public
character was named, she knew the history of his
marriage and could give the name of his mistress.
On all such matters she appeared singularly well
informed.
After lunch Regina retired to her room, lay down,
and slept. When she awoke her ears told her it was
again raining, and very heavily. Finding herself once
more in the big, hard bed under that detestable ceiling,
in the gloom of the chilly room, her depression became
almost desperation. She jumped up, and resolved to
write her letter home. Antonio established her at the
bureau in Signora Anna's room, and she began—
"It's pouring. I am in the lowest spirits."
But come! this was idiotic. Why distress her
Mamma with useless lamentations?
"Is it not my own doing?" she thought, tearing the
note-paper. "Who forced me to change my state, to
leave my family, and my home? For the future I am
alone. Alone! Even if I were to explain, no one
would ever understand!"
Leaning against the desk, she philosophised bitterly.
"Have I the smallest right to complain? No.
And there's no sense in complaining when the cause of
discomfort is in oneself. My soul is sick; it's a plant
torn from the place where it sprang; every little shock
withers it. Why should I lament? It's useless.
Nothing can cure me, not even Antonio's love. The
rain will stop, the fine days will come, I shall have my
own house, and needn't be bothered with any one's
company; but shall I even then be happy? Who can
tell? Yet, after all, what does it matter? One must
just accept life as it is, and resign oneself, and try
to live to oneself. I don't understand the mania for
company. Isn't it possible to live alone? Isn't it
better? What company so good as one's own? And,"
she concluded, "it won't last for ever. We've all got
to die."
She took this for resignation, and decided to write a
letter full of pious lies. But, searching the pigeon-holes
for an envelope, she came upon Antonio's letters
to his mother during the three months he had served
on the Commission at C——e.
Curiosity prompted her to look into them.
In the beginning of the correspondence Antonio
described the place with rapid touches, and praised the
inhabitants, whom he found energetic, lively, quick-witted.
"I have established myself," he wrote, "in an
excellent family, thoroughly honest and sensible. The
father is school-master in a neighbouring village, but
lives here that his own children may attend secondary
schools. The boy Gabriele is smart, active, and
ambitious. Gabriella, the girl, is very clever, and
intends to be an authoress. The school-master (nick-named
the guendol [spindle], because he's never quiet
for a single moment) is an excellent fellow. He discourses
of Raphael and Michaelangelo, making highly
original criticisms. For instance, speaking of Raphael
(whose surname he never omits), he says 'the painter
of La Madonna delle Seggiole (plural), etc.'"
In a postscript to this letter Antonio added—
"The Master has suggested a marriage to me—a
young lady of noble family, once very wealthy, now
come down in the world—twenty-three—neither pretty
nor ugly—clever—fortune, 30,000 lire."
In another letter Antonio boasted of tender regards
from several young ladies in the neighbourhood, but said
the Master still held to his idea.
"The Tagliamari are one of the best families in this
part. They still have 200,000 lire to be divided into
four parts. At present the elder daughter has
30,000. The Signora T—— is most distinguished
widow of a noble who in his day ran through half-a-million.
The Master paints the young lady as a model
of wisdom and goodness. 'È fine, sa,' he says to me,
'fine, fine, fine!'[2] She has been educated at Parma in
a school for ladies of rank. 'You ought to take her
away from this,' he says, 'to Rome—that's her place.'"
"Poor old man," commented Antonio. "He
imagines that I am a prince—I with my small berth at
the Treasury!—fit to marry and carry off a young
lady who is fine, fine, fine!"
"To be sure," he wrote in his letter of September
2nd, "30,000 lire are not to be despised; but I must
first see the lady."
The next letter described the meeting with Regina
on the banks of the Po, near her home.
"She is not beautiful. She has a muzzle like a
cat; but she is very attractive, cultured, particularly
intelligent. The Master must have talked to her of me,
for she got red and looked at me in a shy sort of way.
She asked if I was really private secretary to a princess.
Evidently she would think that much more interesting
than to be merely a junior clerk in the Treasury
office!
"Yesterday I went to the Tagliamaris' villa. The
mother is the most charming of women, a genuine great
lady. She told me the whole story of her life, perhaps
with intention, but in the most delicate way. She
belongs herself to a distinguished family. Her husband
was wealthy, but what she calls unlucky speculations,
the floods of —80, and other misfortunes, completely
ruined him——"
"What are you about, Regina?" asked Antonio,
appearing at the door.
"Oh!" she cried, looking up, "I've discovered some
most curious human documents!"
And she held up the letters. He flushed, and sprang
to put them back in their pigeon-holes, then changed
his mind and began to read them himself.
"Aren't you ashamed?" she said; "a 'signorina fine,
fine, fine!' '30,000 lire not to be despised,' 'Private
secretary to a princess more interesting in her eyes, etc.,
etc., etc.' You were horrid!"
"Read here! Read here!" said Antonio. "See
what I say afterwards!"
But she got up and looked at herself in the glass.
"I declare it's true! I am like a cat!"
"Read here!" repeated Antonio, pursuing her, a
letter in his hand.
"We'll read it later. Now I'm going to write home,"
she said, reseating herself at the bureau.
Antonio took all the letters and set himself to read
them over, buried in a corner of the ottoman. Every
now and then, while Regina wrote rapidly, he burst
into exclamations and little laughs, then suddenly
became serious, as if in the lively recollection of the
last days passed at C——e he were living his happiness
over again.
Later the pair presented themselves at Arduina's
Apartment, where they were to dine. The authoress
lived on the top floor of the palace in a small suite of
rooms furnished in rather strange taste and pervaded by
what seemed to Regina affected disorder.
Arduina came to meet her guests screaming with
delight. She was dressed in a long white overall, her
sleeves tucked up and displaying lean, yellow arms.
"Come in!" she said, hiding her hands behind her
back; "give me a kiss, Regina!"
Regina kissed her without enthusiasm, and Antonio
said—
"I've explained that to get time for writing you
prepare dinner at 5 a.m. God only knows what sort of
meal you'll give us!"
"Here's what will reassure you!" said Arduina,
revealing floury hands. "I write easily, you know,"
she went on, "at any hour and in any place; so it's
true, sometimes, when the inspiration comes I do sit
down with a pen at a corner of the kitchen table. And
I get so wrapped up in what I'm doing that the meat's
apt to get burned. But what does it matter?" she
added, laughing with her rather silly but apparently
conceited laugh; "roast meat is no more than roast
meat, and art is art. But come in; sit down; amuse
yourself with these papers, dear. I'll be with you in a
moment, and then you'll give me that information
about female benevolence in Mantua."
"Leave her in peace," said Antonio, as before.
"Don't you interfere with me! There's no one cares
for your wife so much as I do. Why, I adore her! Do
you hear," she repeated, turning to Regina, "I adore
you. It seems as if I'd known you for years. If for no
other reason I love you because of your queenly name.
By the way, have you seen the queen yet?"
"Of course! in my dreams last night."
"True; you only arrived last night. Still, you've
had time. Where did you go this morning? To the
Colosseum? Ah! I adore the Colosseum! I'd like
to live in it! Have you read Quo Vadis? What! you
have not?—and it's the finest of all modern books! I'll
make you read it. I'll make you read all sorts of books.
I'll introduce you to ever so many authors. I'll take
you to intellectual circles, artistic gatherings, to lectures,
to wherever one may live not by bread alone——"
"Are we to have bread alone here?" asked Antonio,
in feigned alarm; "well, whatever you do, you're not to
make Regina write for your paper."
"Why not?"
"I'd kill you—have you taken up!"
Regina laughed, and Arduina disappeared again into
the kitchen.
When they were alone Antonio pulled Regina to the
looking-glass. "We mayn't be beautiful," he said,
kissing her, "but we make a good group. Look, my
queen, and laugh; laugh as you used! You don't know
what dumps I fall into when I see you displeased."
"I'm not displeased," she said, putting her hands on
his breast.
"But neither are you pleased. You aren't my Regina
of the river-side. Your face is long, your eyes are far
away. You don't seem to care that you're in Rome—Rome
of your dreams."
"It's the weather—the weather," she said in a dull
voice.
"The weather will clear up," said Antonio, taking her
to the window. "You'll see how beautiful Rome is in
fine weather! It's almost always fine, and never cold.
Just see all the gardens! Even here in Via Torino
there's so much green. Shall we look out a bit? It's
not raining now."
He opened the French window. Regina stepped out
among the flower-pots—filled with consumptive little
plants, on whose sparse leaves the melancholy of the
grey sky was reflected. She looked down on the wet
and deserted street.
Taking shelter under a doorway was a little old
woman, dressed in black, and with a meagre basket of
lemons by her side. She was hurriedly wringing out
her stockings, and she was pale, huddled up, shaking
with cold.
Regina had noticed her in the morning, and now,
instead of admiring the palaces and gardens—squeezing
up her eyes to see distinctly from this altitude of fifth
storey—she looked again at the little old woman with
the withered lemons.
Antonio pointed out the Costanzi Theatre, and tried
to cheer her by saying that Bellincioni was expected at
Carnival time.
"Just think, little one! You shall hear Bellincioni!"
But Regina was looking at the muddy pavement,
presided over by that little black figure, whose whole
fortune consisted in those seven miserable lemons. It
seemed as if she had no right to rejoice in the pleasures
offered by a great city, when in that same city, at a
street corner, while it rained, that little old woman was
to be seen tired and shaking with cold. Her soul must
have turned sour and sad like the lemons which made
up her ridiculous fortune, all her subsistence, the total
of her long life of labour and sorrow.
"To be poor and old!" murmured Regina, trying to
express her idea to her husband.
"What is it you've got in your head?" he returned;
"do you imagine the old crone is suffering? Not she!
She's used to that sort of life. If you altered her
habits, even if you offered her a more comfortable
existence, she'd be perfectly wretched."
Regina remembered her own case, and questioned
whether Antonio were not right. Her thoughts flew to
her old home, where the firelight would be just
beginning to gild the semi-obscurity of the great
parlour. The recollection was enough to make her
feel sadder still, here in this cold and untidy little
city drawing-room.
She was roused from her homesickness by Arduina,
who brought tidings.
"The Princess is coming after all! She had promised,
but I feared she'd never turn out a day like this.
She is so kind! and so clever. I adore her. I must
go and dress. Mario!" she cried, running to her
husband, who was entering, "Mario, make haste! Put
on at least your——"
Sor Mario entered, very grave, very fat, much out
of breath. He pressed Regina's hand, gasped, and
in compliance with his wife's insistence went away
to dress. Regina could not make out if he were
pleased or not that the Princess was honouring his
board. As for herself she was curious, even anxious,
to meet a lady of authentic rank, or, at any rate, of
wealth, however little flattering her portrait as
drawn by Antonio. It did not occur to her that the
Princess in question could not be a very exalted
personage if she deigned to sup with Arduina!
"She's old and deaf," Antonio had said; "she sets
up to be a critic, and patronises, or at least receives
visits from, the worst scribblers in Rome. But oh!
these authors! They penetrate everywhere like flies.
It's a fine thing, genius!—worth even more than
money."
"Certainly," Regina had answered, "genius can buy
even money; or, at any rate, can despise it!"
"I think we'd better dress, too," said Antonio
thoughtfully, and added hastily, "not, of course, for her
sake—for our own."
They descended the stair again, and Regina put on
her prettiest silk, her lace scarf, her jewelled brooch,
her rings. She powdered herself, and, following
Antonio's suggestion, puffed her hair a little at the
temples.
"That's it," he said approvingly, "you look another
girl."
He changed his own attire, and curled his moustache.
"A perfect fop!" laughed Regina; "you intend to
captivate the lady with that moustache!"
"Surely you don't imagine any one could fall in love
with me?—not even that 'vecchia corna' (scarecrow)!"
"I fell in love with you!"
He caught her and kissed her.
"But is it true you were in love? I don't believe
it!"
"It was you who didn't fall in love! A 'signorina
fine, fine, fine.' '30,000 lire not to be despised,' 'a
muzzle like——'"
"Yes; a muzzle, a muzzle, a muzzle!" he said, like
a child persisting in some innocent insult.
As they were going forth the second time Signora
Anna ran to see Regina's finery. She examined the
stuff of her dress, and looked if it were lined with silk,
while deep and painful sighs swelled her capacious
bosom. In the kitchen Gaspare was heard scolding
Marina.
Regina felt acute pleasure in the thought that
Gaspare and the mother-in-law were not coming to
Arduina's dinner. However, she was no sooner back
in the squeezy drawing-room, where they sat awaiting
"Madame," than her low spirits returned.
Evening fell rapidly; the shadows deepened like
black impalpable clouds. Arduina was busy with final
preparations. Sor Mario grunted benevolently, sunk in
an arm-chair, his trousers drawn very tight over the
knee. Antonio was thoughtful and silent. No one
remembered to light the lamps.
Regina felt a weight of sadness upon her soul. What
was it? The gloom, the oppression of twilight in
this remote and unknown place to which destiny had
carried her, or was it the mere reflection of Antonio's
unwonted seriousness? She walked to the window,
and again looked for the little old woman with the black
raiment; lamps white and yellow pierced the cloudy
twilight; the pavement glistened; an infinite sadness,
a mystery of fearful shadow fell blacker and blacker
from the heavens.
The bell rang. In rushed the servant and lighted
the gas, barely in time for the great lady's entrance.
With eyes dazzled by this suddenly kindled light,
Regina first saw the Princess, and was at once disillusioned.
The tall, stout, flat-chested form, the felt
hat, fastened by an elastic under the black chignon
stuck at the nape of the neck—suggested something
masculine. Thick, colourless lips, a small nose slightly
awry, small metallic eyes of yellowish-green, marked
the pale heavy face. The whole made up a figure
which, once seen, was not likely to be forgotten.
"Bon soir," she said, in a soft, harmonious voice,
oddly in contrast with her stout and malformed person.
She talked on in French while Arduina hurried to
relieve her of her hat and handbag. "I am pleased to
see you back, Monsieur Venutelli. I received your
letter. This is your bride? She is charming!"
Antonio bowed, and Regina looked at her with
wondering eyes, saying shyly—
"You are very kind, Signora."
"Beg pardon?" said Madame, turning her left ear to
Regina, who nearly laughed, remembering Antonio's
mimicry of the deaf Princess.
But Signora Makuline had taken her hand, and was
slipping a sapphire ring on one of its fingers, saying—
"You will allow me? With a thousand good wishes!"
"Oh, thank you! You are really too good!" cried
Regina, delighted, and Antonio also looked at the ring
and expressed thanks. Then they all sat down; the
Princess removed her dirty white gloves, and, to Regina's
surprise, displayed hands small as a child's, and covered
with flashing rings.
"What shocking weather," said Madame, her small
feline eyes not looking at any one. "I've been many
years in Rome, but never remember an autumn like
this. It's not manners to talk of the weather; but
when it becomes a matter of health, the weather has
certainly more influence over us than even the most
important events of our lives!"
"Monsieur Antonio, this abominable storm will spoil
your honeymoon," said Arduina, trying to joke; but
Regina, rather offended, muttered some words of
protest.
"Beg pardon?" said the Princess.
"Arduina is right," said Antonio; "my wife is, in
point of fact, in the very worst of humours."
"N'est ce pas? In the worst possible humour!"
"It's not true!" protested Regina, "quite the
contrary; I am extremely cheerful."
However, Madame was tiresome enough to observe
that during dinner Regina spoke very little.
"I like to be silent! I like listening," explained the
bride, rather shortly.
"Well," said the Princess, "there's a certain cachet
about a young woman who doesn't talk. A woman's
silence suggests something mysterious, something
occult; even something charming. Georges Sand
spoke little. One of my uncles was her intimate
friend, and he told me Georges was designedly silent."
"Perhaps you yourself knew Georges Sand?" said
Massimo ungallantly.
"No," replied Madame, unmoved.
"Her mother, perhaps?" murmured Antonio.
"Beg pardon?"
"I've been reading an article on Georges Sand's
mother," said Antonio louder. "Most interesting!
She was a woman of fiery genius, and of fiery heart, too,
whose adventures no doubt influenced her daughter's
imagination."
"Where did you see that article?" cried Arduina;
"we'll reproduce it!"
Sor Mario, bending low over his plate, shook his head,
and emitted a perhaps unintentional grunt.
Tedious talk followed of the adventures and romances
of Georges Sand. Arduina declared that the novels
were uninteresting. She liked modern books, and Quo
Vadis? above all others.
"Dio Mio!" said Antonio, "do stop about Quo Vadis?
And really, you know, it's not precisely modern!"
Regina listened and held her peace. The talk was
entirely of books, theatres, authors. The Princess told
some story of Tolstoy, whom she knew personally.
Towards the close of the repast, violent discussion
arose between Massimo and Arduina about a great
contemporary Italian poet and novelist—not only about
his works, but about his private life. Arduina spoke
against the master, hatred darting from her eyes, venom
from her lips. She reproached him even for having
grown old, bald, and ugly before his time. Massimo,
red with fury, withered his sister-in-law with looks of
supreme contempt.
"Worms!" he cried, forgetting he sat at her table.
"See what you writers are! Merely to blacken the
greatest and purest glory of Italy you stoop to absolute
nonsense, and don't even know what it is you are
saying!"
"Peace! peace!" laughed Antonio.
But now a most extraordinary thing happened. Sor
Mario spoke. He had not read one line of the poet's,
nor had any scandal to tell of him, but he related:—
"I saw him once at Anzio; he was riding along the
shore got up entirely in white; white coat, white hat,
white gloves, on a white horse——"
"White gloves on a horse?" queried Massimo,
laughing foolishly.
Regina asked the Princess her opinion of the author
in question, and the lady replied—
"To tell the truth, I'm not one of his blind admirers;
but his prose is certainly lovely—bewitching, like
music——"
"True," said Antonio; "but one very quickly forgets
what he says."
"That's just my impression," said Regina; "it's music
without any echo."
Massimo shook his head; his long hair stood on end
like that of an infuriated baby.
"People were coming down to bathe," continued Sor
Mario, "and they stared at him and laughed. Some
were in hopes the poet would tumble off his white
horse——"
About nine, while Arduina was pouring out coffee,
the Princess's lady companion arrived; a queer-looking
little creature with dark, malignant countenance, a
long, pointed chin, and minute, glittering eyes. Small,
shrivelled, dressed in grey, this curious person seemed
half-animal to Regina, a kind of human rodent. And,
really, no sooner had she entered than the room was
pervaded and animated by what seemed the scratching
and running about of a rat; little cries and exclamations;
hand-claspings and kisses which suggested bites,
questions, remarks, and, above all, looks which seemed
to Regina inquisitive, anxious, mocking, and impudent.
"Take a cup of coffee if you care for it, Marianna,"
said Arduina, while the companion felt the Princess's
forehead with both her hands.
"Why, your head's burning!" she said; "have you
been eating a great deal? What have you eaten?
Whatever have you made her eat?" she went on, turning
to Arduina. "Oh, yes, I'll have some coffee, though
I know very well it won't be good! What wretched
cups! They're as small as I am!"
Antonio had hinted to his wife that Marianna was
commonly supposed to be the Princess's daughter; and
Regina, watching her, thought—
"It's clearly the case of the mountain and the
mouse."
Apparently, Marianna read her thought, for she
turned her little head with the alertness of a mouse,
surprised by some slight sound; then came and sat beside
the bride, balancing her cup on the palm of her
hand, and saying maliciously—
"That husband of yours is a villain; keep your eye
on him if you don't want him in every sort of mischief."
"I think you're the villain this time," said Antonio;
"what are you insinuating suspicions into my wife
for?"
"Because I pity her."
"And pray why?" asked Regina.
"Why? Just because you're married! Here comes
another villain," continued Marianna, pointing to Massimo,
who had drawn nearer; "for that matter they're
all villains, the men! And the good ones are worse
than the bad. The good ones are stupid. I don't care
if men are bad, terrible even, so long as they have some
genius and will-power."
"If I had at least these attributes—" began Massimo,
looking at her with his insolent eyes.
"You can't have them," she interrupted; "geniuses
never oil their hair as you do." "It's oiled, signora,
isn't it?"
"I—don't know," said Regina, "I think not."
"Ah, poor dear! you haven't found it out! You'll
never find anything out."
"How silly she is!" thought Regina.
And again she fancied that the young lady read her
thoughts.
"Oh, you're thinking me a fool!" she said; "but
listen here. I've forgotten to tell you something I
always tell people when I meet them first."
"We know what it is," interjected Massimo and
Antonio; but Marianna went on—
"Once, seven years ago, at Odessa, the house I was
living in went on fire. I was in a top room, all hemmed
in by flames—impossible to get me out. The smoke
was already blinding and stifling me, and I heard the
roar of the flames quite close. I believed in God no
more then than now; however, I did feel the need of
recourse to some supernatural being, some occult or
omnipotent power. So I made a vow. I promised if I
were saved, I would henceforth always speak the truth.
At that moment the floor fell in. I lost my senses; and
when I came to, I found myself safe and sound in the
arms of a most hideous fireman. 'How have you
managed it?' I asked. 'Like this,' he answered, and
told how he had rescued me at great peril of his
life. 'Oh, very well,' I said, 'I suspect you're exaggerating;
but I'm grateful, all the same, and I'll always
remember you; the more vividly that your ugliness is
quite unforgettable.'"
Regina laughed. "I seem to be reading a Russian
story," she said.
"But is that little tale true?" asked Massimo; and
Antonio added—
"You gave me a slightly different version."
"Now you're trying to be witty," said Marianna,
"but it's no use. You can't be witty, except for women
you wish to please, and you don't in the least wish to
please me."
"Oh, yes, I wish to please you," said Massimo; "it's
the sole object of my life."
"Well, I don't appreciate your jokes. There are
plenty of women very inferior to me, and you won't
succeed in pleasing even them."
"I shall succeed with the superior ones, perhaps."
"I don't think there are many women superior to me;
if there are, you'll never get within a stone's throw of
them."
"Then I suppose I'm one of the inferiors?" said
Regina, for the sake of saying something.
"Yes, because you're married. A superior woman
never marries. Or if in some spell of unconsciousness
she does take a husband, she repents at once. If I
wished to pay you a compliment, I should say I believe
you are repenting."
"By Jove!" said Antonio, "that's not a matter of
joke."
"Do you always tell the Princess the truth?" asked
Regina.
"Of course she keeps me only for that purpose,"
said Marianna, looking, not without affection, at the
Princess. Madame was telling Arduina a story of her
aunt.
"—the handsomest and smartest woman in Paris,"
she said. "I've told you of her marriage, haven't I?
They married her at fifteen to the lover of a lady who
remained her friend for ten years, her friend, her
confidante, her guide. For ten years she never
guessed——"
Sor Mario, buried in his arm-chair, was listening,
fighting with sleepiness and the desire to pick his
teeth.
Marianna began to abuse Nietzsche and his opinion
of women, but Regina's attention wandered to the
Princess's stories, scraps of which reached her across
the screaming and the audacities of the younger lady.
"If women understood him, they'd agree," said
Massimo; "they don't approve because they don't
understand."
"They do better than approve, they refute him,"
said Marianna.
"If Gaspare were here," said Antonio, "he'd soon
settle the question."
Regina's soul shivered at the mere recollection of
Gaspare, and his mother, and the servant.
"Her second husband was a Spaniard," narrated
the Princess, "the handsomest man you could see,
and acquainted with all the literary personages of his
time. But his conduct——"
"The education of women has not even begun,"
said Marianna, turning to Regina; "women will never
have any sense till men begin to tell them the truth."
"But what is the truth?" asked Massimo; "truth
between man and woman only comes out when they
quarrel."
"That's true up to a certain point. I'm always
wondering why truth is so disagreeable to everybody.
They tell me I'm cracked because I never tell lies.
Nobody cares, because my words don't really interest
the person I'm talking to. But let's suppose this
lady were to tell her husband all she was thinking, her
real impressions, her real idea of him, his family, his
friends. I'm certain Signor Antonio would fall quite
sick——"
"Regina!" cried Antonio, in feigned alarm, "can
this be true?"
Regina laughed, but a shudder as of great cold
interrupted her false merriment. The Princess was
continuing her story.
"'Jeanne!' said my aunt, hammering at the door
of the room where he was with the lady's maid,
'hand me the Figaro, if you please.' My aunt was
discreet. That was all she said."
"And what did they reply?" asked Sor Mario,
sitting up straight, his toothpick in his fingers.
"My dear!" said Arduina, "what a stupid question!"
Before leaving, the Princess invited Regina to her
Friday receptions. Regina promised to go; but that
night, when she was comfortably in bed, lulled in the
quiet and warmth of the first half-slumber, she said—
"Antonio, do you know what? I've taken a great
dislike to that Princess!"
"Why? She's all right."
"Yes, but—you see——"
"What?"
She paused—then went on, her voice rather sleepy:
"Do you remember that female lion-tamer we saw at
Parma? She looked at women in such a strange way.
I couldn't think whom the Princess reminded me of,
and I thought, and thought——Her eyes are just
like that lion-tamer's! Didn't you see how she stared
at me?"
"Well? She liked you. Who knows but she'll
leave you something in her will!"
"Is she really rich?"
"The deuce she is! A millionaire."
"Her gloves were so dirty."
"Did you see her rings?"
"What do I care for rings if the gloves are dirty?"
Regina relapsed into silence; then she laughed softly,
and presently fell into a light sleep. She dreamt she
was in a wood on the banks of the Po towards Viadana.
The shining waters were churned by a mill, but the mill
was a castle with vast rooms hung with red, and the
castle belonged to Madame Makuline. The Princess
was dead, but her soul had climbed up a poplar-tree,
through the silver leaves of which shone the river,
a crystalline blue. The mill wheel roared like thunder,
and Regina, seated on the entrance stair of the castle,
was washing her feet in a runnel of greenish water which
overflowed the steps. A white duck came to peck at
the little toe of her right foot, and laughed. Regina
laughed herself. She was vaguely aware she was
dreaming, for she was analysing her sentiments, and
knew that a mill is a mill, that ducks can't laugh,
and souls can't climb poplar-trees. None the less,
she was oppressed by mysterious fear, by a sense of
intolerable repugnance and distress.
Antonio heard her laugh, that vague, strange laugh
from the profundity of dream which is like a voice from
the depths of a well.
"She's having pleasant visions—she is happy, my
little queen!" he thought, much moved.
That winter was cold in Rome, and the rain seemed
endless. Even days which began fine grew suddenly
dark; the wind rose, and down came a deluge. Luckily,
the showers did not last. Soon the pavements dried, the
clouds blew away, the sky became blue, as if smiling at
an accomplished jest. The people, however, came home
with their clothes drenched, their boots soaking, their
chests racked with coughs and their bosoms with evil
temper.
"Your famous Roman sky seems to me a lunatic
asylum without any warders," said Regina to her
husband; "a bedlam where the raging clouds do
whatever they like."
And that rainy winter proved one of the saddest in
the young wife's whole life. True, she loved Antonio;
the first day he left her to resume his work she felt
a profound emptiness, and knew herself henceforth
attached to him as firmly as the bark to the tree. But
existence in the Casa Venutelli, association with her
mother-in-law, the presence of Sor Gaspare, the gloomy
bedroom with those immense arm-chairs, heavy as vulgar
destiny, proved altogether unbearable.
And Rome was horrible under the continuous rain,
which had something malicious and mocking about it.
People hurried through the streets, their faces livid;
the women showed petticoat-edges pasted with mud;
the heaven itself was soiled; and Regina's soul made
shipwreck amid this ocean of mud and water. She
would come in drenched and exasperated; within-doors
it was cold; there was no fire, and there was continual
annoyance. She was uncomfortable at the table in those
high round chairs, opposite the sarcastic countenance of
Massimo, Sor Gaspare's red visage, the enormous panting
bosom of Signora Anna. At night she was worse off
still on that lumpy mattress, in the cold air which was
pervaded by the rumble of the trams, and the melancholy
rolling of purposeless carriages.
Was this the life of Rome? Nay, was this Rome?
What! This the famous Corso—this narrow, smelly,
mud-splashed street, with its carriage loads of old
and hideous women, its foot-passengers squashing and
treading upon each other like flocks of stupid sheep?
And was this St. Peter's? Regina had expected it
larger. That the Pincio? It was not beautiful. The
Colosseum? She had supposed it more sublime. Where
were the grandeur and magnificence? She could discover
neither; everything appeared melancholy and hollow.
She felt no astonishment at anything except her own
impressions, and found a dreary pleasure in the thought
that among all the provincials who came to Rome to be
overwhelmed, she alone saw things in their true light.
Sometimes she made exaggerated display of her own
superiority; but self-examination convinced her it was
tainted by personal rancour, and she felt sadder than ever.
What was it she wanted? What did she expect? She
felt sick of some deep wound. In vain she told herself
the winter would pass, she would soon leave this
distasteful house where everything seemed to freeze and
suffocate her. Alas! her own sweet home was never,
never, to be found again!
After hurried visits to monuments and museums, and
a promise of more leisurely re-inspection—promise made
by all who fix their dwelling in Rome, and seldom
fulfilled under months and years—Regina and Antonio
began the (more interesting) round of appartamenti to
be let.
Between the salary of the one and the dowry of the
other, they counted on a fixed income of 3,000 lire.
Antonio received a small addition from the Princess,
who had, however, other advisers, and only consulted
him in certain affairs which brought her into collision
with the Treasury. The means of the young couple
would not therefore allow them more than a small
Apartment at fifty or sixty lire a month. They began
their search in Via Massimo d'Azeglio, where a possibly
suitable suite of rooms was to fall vacant in January.
Regina, oppressed with doubts, entered a lordly entrance
hall, from which led a principal staircase of fine marble.
The second stair was perfectly dark at the bottom, but
got brighter and brighter as it went up. Regina began
to count its steps.
"Eleven, twenty-two, thirty-three, forty-four, fifty-five,
sixty-three—you don't tell me there are more?"
She stopped, her heart beating violently. Antonio
smiled indulgently; he took his little queen by the
arm and helped her up; the higher they went the
steeper the steps became.
"Eighty-eight; ninety-nine. Goodness! more?"
"Courage!"
"A hundred and ten!"
By the grace of God they had arrived; but before the
door was opened, the trembling and panting wife had
said bitterly to herself, "Is this where Regina is to live?
Never! never!"
The Apartment was suitable and pretty; a real nest
in the heart of the city's great forest of stone. Two
windows looked out on a garden; the rest on a court
none too clean.
Regina declared at once that there was no air and
no light, and, in fact, that the rooms would not do
at all.
"No air?" repeated Antonio; "no light? I should
have said just the opposite! Look! there's a garden
down there! And it's so close to my work and in the
very centre of the town!"
"No. I want windows on the street."
"Well, then, we'll look for windows on the street;
but, mind you, we shan't find a more comfortable little
place for our rent."
"You think not?" she said, unbelievingly.
Soon she was obliged to believe. They spent a
fortnight in weary pilgrimage, revolving at first about
the Esquiline, the Quirinal, and the Villa Ludovisi;
and Regina, half vexed, half amused, sang smilingly,
Senza tetto e senza cuna (With neither roof-tree nor
home). Then she became taciturn and very tired,
dragging herself along with an air of desperation. They
consulted a house-agent, who proved a delusion and a
snare. He gave them a score of addresses, and they
gradually went up the Corso exploring all the adjacent
streets, as a traveller ascends a river seeking an unknown
land and an undiscoverable source. Antonio
would have put up with a long walk to his office if he
could thus have contented Regina; but Regina would
not be contented. All the suites were either too large
and costly, or so cramped and cold that a single glance
froze and tightened the heart. Regina saw one mezzanino
(entresol) of four immense, perfectly dark rooms,
inhabited by what seemed an infinite number of smartly
attired young ladies. It suggested a tomb for the
living, and she fled horrified. It was shocking! And
this was Rome! These were the habitations which
Rome offered to those who had long dreamed of her!
Tombs for the living, obscure caverns, dens for slaves!
A thousand times preferable the poorest cabins of the
villages on the Po, full of liberty and light!
And still it rained; and Regina, unused to walking,
got more and more tired as she wandered about, seeking
a nest in which to fold her wounded wings. She had
lost her looks, and was thin and pale; as the days
passed on she became irritable. Sometimes she looked
at Antonio with mocking commiseration. Was there
anything more ridiculous than a fine young man
dragged round by an ugly little wife, on the search for
lodgings at fifty lire a month? What a wretched
business was civilisation! She gazed enviously at the
passers by, thinking feverishly—
"They know where to go! They have houses even
if they are dens, and needn't traipse about the streets,
like us, looking for a refuge. We are stray dogs, unable
to find a hole to die in!"
And she looked yearningly at inaccessible country
houses, thinking bitterly—
"I, too, had a home—a home full of poetry and light.
I shut myself out with my own hands, and never, never
will it be mine again!"
At this thought tears welled into her eyes. Weary
and silent she stepped along at her husband's side, and
Antonio looked at her with pity, guessing the cause of
her discontent. There were times, however, when he
also felt irritated. Why had she refused the Apartment
in the Via d'Azeglio? What more, what better did she
want?
They came in, worn out, both of them, and cross.
Regina shrank away into remote regions of the big, cold
bed, and Antonio sometimes heard smothered sobs
which, instead of moving, vexed him all the more. What
was the matter with her? Well, really now, what was
it? What was the matter? Surely a sensible girl like
her couldn't be crying because rooms to her fancy were
not discoverable at the first go off?
"No," he told her later, "I thought you didn't love
me any longer; I thought you repented having married
me. I felt humiliated and wretched like a whipped
child."
Regina, far away from him in the great cold bed, had
a hopeless feeling of abandonment. She seemed to
have lost herself in a boundless, frozen plain; the
screaming breath of the tram reproduced the drive of
the rain, the roar of the wet wind. All around was
cloud, and only far, far, far away shone the crimson of a
lighted hearth, glimmered the silver of a river——
"Why did I leave my home?" she asked herself,
dully; "I've let myself be rooted up like a poplar; and
now, like the poplar-wood, I've been carted here to
make part of this odious construction which is called a
great city. I also shall warp and rot—get worm-eaten,
fall——"
Then she asked herself did she really love Antonio?
There were moments when she answered "No;" other
moments when she melted at the thought of him.
"I shall make him miserable! He told me what to
expect in Rome; a modest life, a middle-class family.
Did I not accept it? Well—well! we shall all die!
We must be resigned to our destiny. Every hour will
come, and the hour of death is the most certain of all.
To die! To have no more suffering from homesickness—never
again to see my mother-in-law, Arduina,
Sor Gaspare, that maid Marina; to wander no further
in the rain seeking an Apartment! No—I don't want
to torment Antonio any more. Is it his fault that all
the miseries of civilisation interfere between him and
me? He didn't know it, and neither did I know it.
But we shall all die at last! We must be resigned, and
go and live in Via d'Azeglio. The days will pass there
as they pass everywhere."
She slept, pleased with her philosophy; and, of
course, she dreamed of the distant home, the woods, the
blazing logs, the windows radiant in the sunset, the
kitten on the window-sill contemplating the stem of
the poplar-tree. Next morning daylight met her in the
detestable Venutelli room; she lay under the incubus of
the grey ceiling; she must get up, endure the cold, the
rain, the company of Signora Anna! Resignation? It
was very well in theory; in practice her nerves revolted
fiercely against the reality.
At last, after a month of vain search, more in the end
from weariness than from good-will, Regina consented to
the suite in the Via d'Azeglio for one year. Yet on
the very day of signing the agreement she repented,
abandoning all self-control.
"Was it worth while leaving my home and coming to
Rome to live in a box? I shall be suffocated! I shall
die!" she cried.
Nor could Antonio longer contain himself.
"Can't you say what it is you want?" he exclaimed
in a fury. "Did you imagine you were marrying a
prince? You knew all I had to offer! You told me a
hundred times you hadn't corrupted your soul with vain
ambitions; you said you were robust and unselfish;
you said you didn't ask impossible things of life! Why
don't you look back instead of always looking ahead?
Didn't you say you were a bit of a Socialist? Well,
then, why don't you compare your condition with that
of millions and millions of other women?"
She wept, leaning her forehead against the window-pane.
Of course it was raining, and it seemed to her
that the heavens wept with her. She knew Antonio
was right, although he looked at the matter merely on
its material side, and did not understand the real causes
of her discontent.
However, she laughed through her tears, laughed
proudly and ironically.
"If you speak like that, we are done for," she said.
He moderated his voice. "I speak crossly," he said,
"but I mean well. I am tired of seeing you so dissatisfied,
Regina. What do you want me to do? What
can I give you beyond what I have—that is, all my
work, all my love, a good position, a morrow without
cares?"
"He doesn't understand," she thought; "I shall
suffer, but no one shall perceive it, he least of all. I
shall be always solitary. Well! I don't need any one,
do I? I'm strong, am I not? Are you proposing to
let your heart be seen, Regina, by all these odious little
people?" And she shook her wings like a little bird
which has tumbled into dirty water.
Antonio came nearer, and they made it up.
"You know," he said, stroking her hair, "the agreement
is only for a year. Who knows what mayn't
happen in a year? I shall apply for a rise, get a step;
then we shall have our house rent free. I'll try to get
extra work; perhaps Madame will put her whole affairs
into my hands. Our position will improve. We'll take
a larger flat—with a shorter stair. You'll get used to
the stair. Some day you'll laugh at having cried for
such trifles. Now wash your face. How ugly you are
with those red eyes!"
"Ugly or pretty, I'm always myself!" she said, plunging
her face into cold water; then she scrubbed it with
the rough towel, powdered herself, put on the lace scarf,
and consented to go up and visit Arduina.
They found that lady's door open, and from the
vestibule her voice was heard in the drawing-room.
"Who's there?" asked Regina.
There was no one.
"What are you doing? Talking to yourself?" asked
Antonio.
The authoress coloured, laughed, screamed, and confessed
she was rehearsing a speech for his Excellency the
Minister of Public Instruction, whom she was going
to ask for a subscription for her paper.
"Does Mario know? I'll ask him what he thinks of
it," said Antonio.
"For pity's sake, don't!" she cried.
"Doesn't it make you shy asking for money?" asked
Regina, astonished.
"Why should I be shy? Every one does it. It's not
for myself I ask—it's for the journal, which is doing
terribly badly. I've asked for a subscription and an
audience of the Queen. And to-morrow I must go to
my uncle the Senator and learn——"
"I'd sooner die than beg from anybody!" said
Regina.
"But why?" asked the other, astounded. "What
harm does it do? If you were a literary woman, and
ran a paper and had an idea to sustain and to make
triumphant——"
"Spare us—my dear goose!" interrupted Antonio.
"And hold my tongue, I suppose? So you never ask
for money? Nor take advantage of anything useful
which comes in your way? Why do you stare, Regina?
It's all a question of getting used to it."
"Getting used to it? That's another matter."
Regina felt a flood of contemptuous words rise to her
lips, but she kept silence, thinking she would not deign
even to reply. She walked to the window and saw the
little black-dressed woman with the seven lemons, in the
corner by the shut door; but she no longer felt the
melancholy this sight had waked in her on her first
coming to Rome. She had got used to it.
"The Princess often asks for you," said Arduina,
"won't you come to her next reception? Now you've
found a house and are getting settled, you can begin to
return visits and make acquaintances."
"What good are acquaintances to me?"
"What good are they to others? Don't be posing as
an oddity," said Antonio, a little sharply.
"Shall I have enough drawing-room to receive them
in?" returned Regina in that cold voice of hers which
froze her husband's heart.
He was dismayed and silent. Arduina, however, did
not understand.
"Your drawing-room will be small," she said, "that
means you can't have a large circle. But you'd
better come to the Princess's. It's in your husband's
interest."
"No. I don't know what to make of your princesses,"
said Regina; but immediately she repented, remembering
her vows of a few minutes before. She laughed, joked,
turned everything upside down in the little drawing-room,
and promised to go with Arduina to see the
Senator uncle.
"I'll tell him I'm a poetess, and ask him to get me
an audience of the Queen," she said gaily.
"My dear child, capital!" cried Arduina in ecstasy.
"Yes! yes! we'll go together!"
But Regina made a roguish gesture, moving her hand
like a fan with her thumb on the point of her nose; and
the other laughed, more than ever sure that her sister-in-law
was half imbecile.
Next day they went together to the distinguished
uncle, who turned out only a second cousin of Arduina's
mother. The authoress had dressed herself up. She
wore a black dress much wrinkled on the shoulders, a
yellow straw hat trimmed with poppies; a feather boa
so thin and worn that people turned their heads to look
at it. Regina, also in black, with her inevitable lace
scarf, seemed beside her almost a beauty.
The Senator lived in Via Sistina on a fourth floor.
That comforted Regina greatly. If a senator could
exist on a fourth floor she might get accustomed to a
fifth. Still more was she comforted when she saw the
Senator's Apartment. It was very dark, and furnished
with a meagreness nearer to discomfort than to simplicity.
A few aspidistras, whose large leaves glistened feebly in
the chiaroscuro, adorned the ante-room and the two
dreary reception-rooms through which the ladies were
conducted by an elderly chambermaid. There was a portrait
in oils of an old man, lean and red, with protruding
blue eyes and beautiful white hair (suggestive, however,
of a wig), who smiled sarcastically out of his yellow
background. The portrait was reflected in a cracked
mirror; and the vast, dreary, dark room seemed
animated by the two figures—immobile against the
yellow background of the picture and the mirror—looking
at each other, smiling sarcastically, sharing some
half mocking, half melancholy thought.
Regina glanced at herself in the glass, and fancied
that the two figures, the one in front and the one
behind, had fixed their mocking eyes upon herself;
then she turned suddenly, for she saw advancing
silently against the yellow background of the room a
third figure exactly like the other two. It was the
Senator.
"Oh, brava!" he said briskly, turning to Arduina
and looking at Regina.
"Let me introduce my sister-in-law," said Arduina;
"she has been married one month."
"How stupid she is!" thought Regina, but had herself
nothing to say when the old man congratulated her on
having been married a month.
"Oh, brava! brava!" he repeated; and Arduina
quickly explained the occasion of her visit.
The old Senator again said "Brava! brava!" but
Regina understood perfectly that he was out of
sympathy with the entire affair.
"Oh, brava! brava! It's your paper, to be sure;
and devoted to the woman question?"
"No, no! Still—yes! to women's questions, properly
understood."
"I see!—women's questions properly understood.
Well, teach the women to work. Habituate them to the
idea of work, of earning their living, of independence.
When I go abroad, especially when I go to England, I
am immensely struck by the 'moral physiognomy' of
the women—so different from our women at home—from
you——"
"But I do work!" protested Arduina.
"Your work is not sufficiently profitable if you require
subscriptions!" cried Regina.
"Oh, brava! brava! And you, I suppose, write too?"
"Oh, no! I don't do anything!"
The Senator looked at her with his mocking and
melancholy blue eyes; and she blushed, remembering
she had never worked in her life.
"I want subscriptions," said Arduina, "because in
Italy work is not yet remunerative. But in the future—the
generations we shall educate——," etc., etc., etc.
She made a long speech about the future generations,
and returned to her starting point: the urgent need for
a subscription.
"Bless the girl! She shall have the subscription!"
said the Senator, who was still looking at Regina.
"And the audience also?"
He promised the audience. At that moment he was
smiling just as he smiled in the portrait and in the
mirror; and Regina perceived that he pitied the poor
Italian journalist and was thinking of the moral
physiognomy of the working Englishwomen.
"But why the audience?" asked Regina, emboldened
and imitating the Senator's smile; "subscriptions are all
very well—up to a certain point—but the audience——"
"It's a moral support. With reference to my
principles——"
"Yes, yes; a moral support," interrupted the Senator,
still smiling.
Regina felt rebellious. This man who found the
moral physiognomy of the women abroad so different
from the moral physiognomy of the incapable, enslaved
Italians—why did he not make Arduina understand the
errors of her method?
"But," she cried, almost angrily, "if you can't do
without assistance, moral or material, it's better—to do
nothing at all! We are always despoilers; and it's all
one if we despoil fathers, husbands, lovers, or royalty
and the Government!
"My dear, you don't understand!" said Arduina, who,
had not taken in Regina's meaning; "you talk like that
because you've never felt the need——"
"You are from Lombardy?" asked the Senator, who,
with his hands folded on his breast, amused himself
twiddling his thumbs.
"I'm an incapable and useless Italian," she replied,
very contemptuous of herself.
"But you are young. Why don't you write?"
"What's the use of writing," she asked, meeting his
eye mockingly, "if it's only to ask for subscriptions and
audiences?"
The old man, still twiddling his thumbs, rose and
took a step towards the young lady.
"What's your impression of Rome?"
"Bad! It bores me! Town life is so wretched and
gloomy. Besides, it does nothing but rain," said Regina,
and laughed.
"What makes him stare so?" she thought; "can I
possibly have the moral physiognomy of the English
ladies?"
The old man stood in front of her, his back to
Arduina, whose presence he seemed to have forgotten.
"Town life is wretched," he said, "because it's empty.
Our women are full of useless aspirations, and, as you
say, despoil their men, who deteriorate working too
hard for their families. In those societies where the
woman works also, the man has a free margin for the
development of his abilities. In England——"
"But what can we do," repeated Regina, "if we
haven't been brought up to work?"
The Senator did not appear to hear her. He drew a
picture of English society where the whole middle class,
the professional and the working sections alike kept
themselves up in literature, art, politics, and promoted
free discussion on all subjects; where the women were
not bored, because they worked.
"They have hundreds of authoresses, translators,
newspaper correspondents, who make more than 10,000
lire every year, some a great deal more. Mrs. H. W.—do
you know how much she gets for each of her
books?"
Regina did not know.
"More than seven or eight thousand pounds."
Arduina hastily made the calculation.
"More than 200,000 lire?" she said, awe-struck.
"Dear me! I shouldn't like to make all that!"
"Why not?"
"Because I should go off my head!"
"But in Italy——" began Regina.
"In Italy, too, a woman may earn a great deal.
Work! work! there's the secret."
Regina left the old Senator's dark and melancholy
house with a new ray of light in her mind. Work!
work! Yes, she also wanted work! She would begin
to write. If she was no good for anything else, at least
she might make some money. She wanted work; she
wanted money; above all she wanted to live.
"I'll escape from this narrow circle which is strangling
me. I'll look life in the face. I'll lose myself in
the great streets of Rome, feel the soul of the crowd,
write descriptions of the lives of the poor, of those
who are bored, of those who seem happy and are not—life
as it is——"
When she got home she looked round with pitying
eyes. Yes! Signora Anna and the maid, Arduina and
the brothers-in-law, the whole environment and the
souls set in it, all moved her to pity. And this pity
gave her a feeling of soft sweet warmth, of profound
well-being.
Antonio had not come in, and Regina stayed in her
room. She took a book and sat by the closed window.
Evening came on. Little by little the warmth which
had been the result of the expedition died out. The
light failed. Great impalpable veils fell down round
her, slowly, one after the other. The book she held in
her hand was so futile that she had not been able to read
two pages. She shut it up and looked at the sky. But
the line of sky above the ugly opposite façade was so
ashen and heavy that it gave her the impression of a
sheet of metal. Only one little red cloud, a wandering
flame, illuminated the ashes of this dead heaven.
Suddenly Regina felt a great emptiness, a great cold
within herself. That little cloud had reminded her of
the distant hearth fire in her home; of all the little,
simple, voiceless things which yet were greater and
brighter than all glory, all riches. She thought—
"Work! Money-making! Even if it were possible
it couldn't give me back my home, my past, my
atmosphere! One little reality is worth more than the
greatest of ideals."
"What is the Ideal?" she thought further, still
watching the slow passing of the cloud; and she copied
the old Senator's smile, remembering how he also
imagined he had such lofty ideals!
CHAPTER IV
On Christmas Eve Regina went early to bed, complaining
of an indisposition which made Signora Anna
thoughtful, but was not suggestive to Antonio. He
knew, or thought he knew, the subtle malady which
was consuming his wife. He knew its name: Nostalgia;
and he left to time the responsibility of its cure.
Regina was no sooner in bed than she began to
remember and to meditate. Christmas in Rome! She
saw over again the carts of live fowls being drawn
through the streets; the ladies passing quickly along
with parcels in their hands; the fat pork-butchers
looking out from their nauseating shops with the
importance of Roman emperors; his Excellency an
Under-Secretary of State standing in front of Dagnino's
window with a visage of terrible perplexity.
She reflected upon the quarrel which had broken out
among Signora Anna, Gaspare and the maid about
wax candles. Marina had gone up and down the stair
at least twenty times, each time coming back with
parcels, but each time forgetting something. During
the whole of lunch and the whole of dinner the
brothers, their mother and the girl had discussed
the supplies of food.
Well! it had all produced in Regina a sort of
spiritual indigestion. Alone in the great bed, shivering,
crumpled up, she was conscious of an unspeakable
depression. She felt like a little snail which hears the
rain pattering on its shell. And she thought continually
of the distant hearth, the grey night illumined by the
snow. Behind the voices and the laughter which
vibrated from the dining-room, behind the painful
screech of the trams, behind the buzz of the merry-making
city, she heard the whistling of trains in the
station. Some of the whistles laughed, some wept;
one, faint and tender, seemed the voice of a questioning
child; one was like a zigzag on a black sky; one
mocked at Regina. "Are you ready to go? Not you!
not you! It's your own fault. Here you've come, and
here you stay! Good-bye! Good-bye!"
She worked herself into a passion. She was angry
even with his Excellency, who had looked in at Dagnino's
window, fixing his gold eye-glasses. She asked,
exasperated, who were all those strange people laughing
and joking in the dining-room?
Antonio soon joined her. She pretended to sleep.
He was solicitous and touched her gently. Feeling her
very cold, he drew nearer to warm her. She was moved,
but did not open her eyes.
The hours passed. The city became silent. It slept,
like a greedy child to whom dainties are promised.
Regina could not sleep, but she was not insensible to
the kindness and the warmth. The little snail had
looked out from the window of its shell and seen the
sun shining on the grass. Melodious sound of bells
trembled and oscillated on the quiet night. One
seemed to come from beyond a river, grave, sonorous,
nostalgic. To her surprise Regina found herself
repeating certain lines of Prati's, which she was not
conscious of having known before. Whence did they
arise? Perhaps from the depths of her subconsciousness,
evoked by the nostalgic song of the bells on that
first Christmas of exile.
"Dreaming of home and of the country ways,
The village feastings and the green spring days."
She repeated the lines many times to herself with
sing-song monotony, which ended by putting her asleep.
She dreamed she was at home. Her young sister
played "Stefánia" on her mandoline. Regina saw the
mandoline distinctly and its inlaid picture of a troubadour
with a mandola. The little black cat was listening,
rather bored, and yawning ostentatiously. Outside fell
the evening, violet-grey, velvety, silent. Suddenly a
perplexed visage with gold-rimmed eye-glasses started
up behind the window-panes. Regina laughed so loud
that she woke her husband.
"Whatever is it?" he asked in alarm.
"His Excellency," she murmured, still dreaming.
Next morning, on awakening, Antonio found Regina
in tears.
"You were laughing last night—now you cry," he
said, with slight impatience. "Can't you explain what
on earth's the matter with you?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing! You're crying! What are you crying
about? I can't bear it any longer! Why do you
torment me like this?"
She took his hand and passed it over her eyes. He
repented.
"What is it? What is it? Tell me—only tell me,
Regina, Regina!" he urged, tenderly and anxiously.
"It has nothing to do with you," she said, hiding her
face on his breast, "it's all my own fault. I don't know
why, but I can't conquer the past—the homesickness—and
I'm afraid of the future."
He also felt a mysterious fear.
"Why are you afraid of the future?"
"Because—I suppose because we are poor. Rome is
so horrid for the poor."
"But, Regina, we aren't poor!" he exclaimed with
increasing alarm, "and, anyhow, don't we love each
other?"
"To love—to vegetate—it's not enough—not
enough," she murmured.
"But you knew all about it, Regina!"
"I knew and I know. I'm furious with myself that
I can't overcome my aversion to this bourgeois life."
"But after all—down there at your home—what sort
of life were you leading?"
"Oh, Antonio! I had dreams!"
Antonio understood the anguish in that cry, and
tried to lull her sorrow for the time being, administering
as to a sick person an innocuous soothing mixture.
"Listen," he said, "it's just that you're a bit homesick.
You'll find that in a little time you'll get used
to it all. I admit our life is rather cramped, but do you
suppose the rich people are happy?"
"It's not riches I want!"
"What is it then? I'm not vulgar, am I? or stupid?
After all, it's with me you've got to live. Be reasonable.
You shall make your own surroundings just as
you like them. Meantime, to cure you of your
homesickness
you can go home to your own country
whenever you like."
The soothing mixture produced the desired effect.
Regina raised a radiant face.
"In the spring?" she cried impetuously, "in the
spring?"
"Whenever you wish. And you'll see that in course
of time——"
But the course of time only augmented Regina's
trouble.
The night of San Stefano Antonio took her to the
Costanzi Theatre, to the Sedie.[3] She put on her
smartest frock, her best trinkets, and went to the
theatre, resolved to be astonished at nothing, for had
she not already been to the theatre at Parma? The
Costanzi was magnificent; an enormous casket where
the most beautiful pearls in the capital shone on
feminine shoulders resplendent with "Crema Venus."
Even the pit was splendid, a field of great flowers
sprinkled with the dew of gems and gold. And in
spite of her experience at the Parma theatre, Regina
felt sufficiently bewildered. Her short-sighted eyes,
dazzled by the brilliant light, were half shut; and it
was much the same with the eyes of her soul. She
raised her opera glass and looked at one of the boxes.
The lady there was plain in feature, but extremely
fashionable; Regina thought her painted, decked with
false hair, her eyes artificially darkened. None the less,
she envied her.
She looked round. Little by little her envy swelled,
overflowed, became hateful. She would have liked the
theatre burned down. Then she perceived that a lady
near her was looking at the boxes just as she was,
perhaps with the same criminal envy in her heart.
She felt ashamed of herself, put down the glass, and
after this did not look at the seats above her again.
But on her own level, in the furthest row of the
Poltrone,[4] she saw a long row of smartly dressed men
and women who always and only stared at the boxes.
No one looked at the Sedie. The people there were an
inferior race, or actually non-existent for the ladies and
gentlemen in the Poltrone.
"We are nothing! We are the microbes which fill
the void," thought Regina.
Then she perceived another strange fact, that she
herself felt for the Sedie and the gallery the very same
contempt which was felt by the people of the boxes and
the stalls.
Antonio thought she was enjoying the music and the
spectacle as he was himself; now and then he touched
her hand and made some pleasant remark.
"You look a real queen with that necklace!" he
said, for instance.
"An exiled queen!" returned Regina under her
breath.
Later, when she thought over that first year of
marriage, Regina divided it into many little chapters.
Amongst them she attached importance to the chapter
of her first visit to the Princess Makuline.
It took place on a warm, cloudy evening at the
beginning of January. Antonio was missing, having
been detained at the Department till nine, doing extra
work; but Arduina and Regina waited in the Piazza
dell' Indipendenza for Massimo, who was to escort
them. The Piazza, almost deserted, was illumined by
the pale gold rays of the veiled moon. The bare trees
were scarce visible in the vaporous air, the small,
motionless flames of the street lamps seemed far away.
Regina, standing in the middle of the great square, was
pleasantly conscious of silence, solitude, immensity.
For the first time since she had been in Rome she
caught herself admiring something.
"Come along!" said Massimo, arriving hurriedly, and
brandishing a pair of new gloves; "three-fifty they cost
me! Woe to Madame if she doesn't pay me with some
hope!"
"I believe you'd be capable of marrying her," said
Regina, with a gesture of disgust.
"She'd like it," said Arduina.
"Shut up! The point is—should I like it?" said the
young man. "I'm not for sale."
Passing the Princess's little garden gate, Massimo
said, "This is the entrance for Madame's lovers!"
But they walked on and rang at the hall door of the
villa, or rather of the villas, for there were two; small
but handsome houses, joined by an aërial terrace or
hanging garden.
"Like two little brothers holding each other's hands,"
said Regina, with a sigh.
A servant in plain clothes opened the polished door,
and disclosed two great wolves, apparently alive, lying
in ambush on the red rugs of the entrance hall.
The rooms were much overheated. Thick carpets,
skins of bears spread before large low divans, themselves
covered with furs, exhaled what seemed the hot
breath of wild beasts sleeping in the sun—an atmosphere
wild, voluptuous, noxious. Huge waving branches
of red-berried wild plants rose from tall metal vases.
The Princess, richly but clumsily dressed in black velvet
and white lace, was discoursing in French to two
elderly ladies, telling them the adventures of her aunt,
wife of the man who had known Georges Sand.
"At that time," she was saying, "my aunt was the
best dressed woman in Paris. Georges Sand described
one of her costumes in the Marquis de Villemer...."
Beyond the two elderly ladies, an old gentleman,
shaven and bald, his head shining like a bowl of pink
china, lolled in an arm-chair and listened sleepily.
Marianna, in a low pink dress, ran to the new-comers
with her little rat-like steps, and surveyed Regina
inquisitively.
"You look very well, Madame," she said; "is there
no news?"
"What news do you expect?" asked Regina.
Marianna giggled, her little eyes shining unnaturally.
Regina could not resist the suspicion that the rat was
excited with wine, and she felt a resurgence of the
curious physical disgust with which the Princess and
this girl inspired her.
Madame at first paid scant attention to the Venutellis.
Other guests were arriving, the greater number
elderly foreign ladies in dresses of questionable freshness
and fashion. Arduina soon got into conversation
with an unattractive gentleman whose round eyes and
flat nose surmounted an exaggerated jowl. Massimo
followed in the wake of Marianna, who came and went,
running about, frisking and shrieking. Regina was
stranded between a stout lady who made a few
observations without looking at her, and the bald old
gentleman who said nothing at all. She soon grew
bored, finding herself neglected and forgotten, lost
among all these fat superannuated people, these old
silk gowns which had outlived their rustle. How
tedious! Was this the world of the rich, the enchanted
realm for which she had pined?
"Regina shall not be seen here again," she told
herself.
Presently she saw Arduina smiling and beckoning to
her from the distance; but just then the Princess came
over, and put her small refulgent hand in Regina's with
an affectionate and familiar gesture.
"Won't you come and take a cup of tea?" she said.
Regina started to her feet overwhelmed by so much
attention.
"How is your husband?" said the Princess, leading
her to the supper-room.
"Very well, thank you," said Regina, in a low voice;
"he hasn't been able to come to-night because——"
"Beg pardon?" said the Princess.
All the elderly ladies and gentlemen followed the
hostess, and seated themselves round the room, in which
a sumptuous table was laid. Marianna ran hither and
thither, distributing the tea.
"Could you help?" she asked, passing Regina;
"you seem like a girl. Come with me."
Regina followed her to the table, but did not know
what to do; she upset a jug and blushed painfully.
"Here!" said Marianna, giving her a plate, "take
that to the man like a dog."
"Which man? Speak low!"
"The man beside your sister-in-law. He's an
author."
Regina crossed the room shyly, carrying the plate,
and imagining every one was looking at her. There
was consolation in the thought that she was about to
offer a slice of tart to an author.
"Oh, Signorina!" he exclaimed, with a deprecating
bow.
"Signora, if you please!" said Arduina, "she's my
sister-in-law."
"My compliments and my condolences," said the
man, insolently; he rolled his great eyes round the
room and added, "In this company you seem a
child."
"Why condolences?" asked Arduina.
"Because she's your sister-in-law," replied he.
Regina perceived that the author was very impudent,
and she retreated to the table. Not finding Marianna
she timidly possessed herself of another plate and took
it to Massimo, who, also neglected and forgotten, was
standing near the door.
"Oh, you're doing hostess, are you?" he said.
"Look here! bring me a glass of that wine in the tall,
gold-necked bottle at the corner of the table. Drink
some yourself."
Regina went for it, but found the Princess herself
pouring wine at that moment from the bottle with the
golden neck.
"Massimo would like a glass of that," she murmured
ingenuously.
"Beg pardon?" said the Princess, who fortunately
had not heard.
Regina, however, found a wine-glass ready filled, and
carried it to her brother-in-law; exquisite bouquet rose
from the glass as perfume from a flower.
"It's port, you know," said Massimo, with genuine
gratitude; "thanks, little sister-in-law! You're my
salvation! 'Tis the wine of the modern gods."
"You are facetious to-night."
"Hush! I'm bored to death. Let's go. We'll leave
Arduina. Who's that baboon-faced person she's got
hold of?"
"That's an author."
"Connais pas," said the other, eating and drinking.
"What a rabble! No one but rabble."
"Just so," said Regina, "and we belong to it."
"On the contrary, we'll snap our fingers at it. No!
we are young and may some day be rich. Those folk are
rich, but they'll never be young, my dear!"
"Take care! I think you are right though."
"Then bring me another glass of port!" said
Massimo, imploringly.
"Certainly not!"
The old ladies and gentlemen, mildly excited by the
wines and the tea, raised their voices, moved about,
clustered in knots and circles. In the confusion Regina
again found herself beside the hostess.
"But you've had positively nothing!" said Madame;
"come with me. Have a glass of port? How's your
husband?"
"The second time!" thought Regina; and she
shouted, "Very well indeed, thank you."
"Have you moved yet? How do you like your
house? Come, drink this! Have some sweets? The
pastry's pretty good to-day. Oh, Monsieur Massimo!
won't you have another cup of tea? No? A glass of
port, then? Tell me, are you also at the Treasury?"
"No, Madame; in the War Office."
Marianna no sooner observed that the Princess was
talking to the Venutellis than she thrust her restless
face behind Regina's shoulder; and it struck the latter
that this girl watched her patroness over much.
"I've a bothersome affair on hand," said Madame,
slowly; "some money due in Milan which I want paid
to me in Rome. I'm told I must have a warrant from
the Treasury, Monsieur Antonio must come and speak
to me to-morrow."
"I'll tell him the moment I get in," cried Regina.
Marianna said something in Russian, turning to
Madame with an air almost of command. The Princess
replied with her usual calm, but quickly afterwards she
moved away.
"Now I must pay for the help you gave me," said
Marianna to Regina, pouring out a glass of a white
liqueur. "Drink this."
"No, thanks."
"It's vodka. The Russian ladies get tipsy with this.
See how I drink it! I'm half tipsy already," she went
on, raising the glass and looking through it; "I don't
mind! It has the opposite effect on me to what it has
on every one else. After drinking, I no longer speak
the truth."
"I don't observe it," said Massimo, dryly. "So this
is vodka, is it? It's nasty."
"Oh, I've had none to speak of to-day!" said
Marianna. She laughed and sipped; then held the
glass to Regina's lips and made her drink too.
"Now we'll go and interrupt the idyll of the dog and
the cat," said Marianna, leading the way to the next
room where Arduina and the author were still tête-à-tête
under the branches of the red-berried plant.
Regina and Marianna sat down opposite to them on a
divan of furs, and Massimo remained standing. In the
next room one of the old ladies was playing "Se a te, O
cara!"
Regina now felt an inexplicable content; the gentle
yet impassioned music, the warmth of the divan whose
soft furriness suggested a pussy cat to be stroked; the
indefinable perfume with which the hot air was charged,
the vodka, too, which still pulsed in her throat—all
gave her the initial feelings of a pleasant intoxication.
Arduina also seemed excited. She spoke loud, in the
tones which Regina had noted in the flirtatious cousin,
Claretta. She seemed no longer to recognise her
relations.
"What's the matter with the silly thing?" Regina
asked herself, and Marianna must have guessed her
thought, for she said slyly, "They're love-making."
Regina laughed unthinkingly. Then suddenly she
felt shocked.
"Is it possible!" she murmured.
"Anything is possible," said the rat. "You are
such a child as yet; but in time you'll see—anything is
possible."
CHAPTER VI
Next day Antonio went to the Princess about the
collection of her rents. She invited him and his wife
to dinner on Sunday, and this invitation was followed
by others. Regina accepted them all, but unwillingly.
The dinners were magnificent, served by pompous men
servants, whose solemnity, said Antonio, spoiled his
digestion. Regina found the entertainments dull, and
came away out of temper. The guests were elderly
foreigners or obscure Italian poets and artists; their
conversation might have been interesting, for it touched
on letters, art, the theatre, matters of palpitating contemporary
life, but only stale commonplaces were
uttered, and Regina heard nothing at all correspondent
to the ideas sparkling in her own mind.
She was bored; yet no sooner was she back in the
atmosphere of Casa Venutelli than she thought enviously
of the Princess's saloons, where the servants passed and
waited, silent and automatic as machines, where all was
beauty, luxury, splendour, and the light itself seemed
to shine by enchantment.
At last the day came when Antonio and his wife
chose the furniture for their own Apartment in Via
Massimo d'Azeglio.
"We'll go on Sunday and settle how to arrange it,"
said Antonio, and Regina thought dolefully of all the
fatigue and worry awaiting her.
"Fancy coping with a servant!" she reflected, panic-struck.
On Sunday morning they went to their little habitation.
It was late in January, a pure, soft morning with
whiffs of spring in the air. Regina ran up the hundred-odd
steps, and when, panting and perspiring, she arrived
at her hall door she amused herself by ringing the
bell.
"Tinkle, tinkle, tinkle! Who is there? Mr. Nobody!
What fun going to visit Mr. Nobody!"
Antonio opened with a certain air of mystery and
marched in first. Then he turned and made Regina
a low bow. She looked round astonished, and exclaimed,
with faint irony, "But I thought this kind of
thing only happened in romances!"
The Apartment was all in complete order. Curtains
veiled the half-open windows. The large white bed
stood between strips of carpet, upon which were depicted
yellow dogs running with partridges in their
mouths. Even in the kitchen nothing was missing or
awry.
Antonio stood at the window, leaving Regina time to
get over her surprise. She hated herself because somehow
she did not feel all the pleasurable emotion which
her husband might justly expect of her. However, she
understood quite well what she must do. She thought—
"I must kiss him and say, 'How good you are!'"
So she did kiss him, and said "How good you are!"
quite cheerfully. His eyes filled with boyish delight,
and at sight of this she felt touched in earnest.
"Antonio," she cried, "you really are good, and I am
very wicked. But I'm going to improve, I really, really
am!"
And for a week or a fortnight she was good; docile
and even merry. She was very busy settling her
treasures in the cabinets, her clothes in the wardrobes,
altering this table and that picture; never in her whole
life had she worked so hard! The first night she slept
in the soft new bed, between the fine linen sheets of
her trousseau, she felt as if delivered from an incubus,
and about to begin a new life, with all the happiness,
all the renewed energy of a convalescent. By this
time fine weather had come. The Roman sky was
cloudless; springtime fragrance filled the air; the city
noises reached Regina's rooms like the sound of a
distant waterfall, subdued and sweet. In the sun-dappled
garden below, a thin curl of water was flung
by a tiny fountain into a tiny vase, dotted with tiny
goldfish; monthly roses bloomed; and a couple of white
kittens chased each other along the paths. The little
garden seemed made expressly for the two graceful
little beasts.
Regina passed several happy days. But when all
the things were safely installed in the wardrobes and
cabinets she found she had nothing more to do. The
servant, of whom she had thought with so much dread,
looked after everything, was well behaved and prettily
mannered. She was an expense, but worth it. Regina's
only worry was making out the account for the maid's
daily purchases. She got used even to this; and again
began to be bored. She stood before her glass for long
hours, brushing, washing and dressing her hair, polishing
her nails and teeth. She looked at herself in
profile, from this side and that, powdered her face, took
to using "Crema Venus," laced herself very tight. But
afterwards, or indeed at the moment, she asked with
impatient and disgusted self-reproach, "Are you a fool,
Regina? What's all this for? What on earth is the
good of it?"
Of her few visitors, almost all were tiresome relations;
among them Aunt Clara and Claretta. Aunt Clara,
jealous of Arduina's aristocratic acquaintances, had
much to relate of banquets and receptions at which
she had assisted.
"And Claretta, as I need not say——"
Claretta admired herself in all the mirrors, ransacked
Regina's toilet-table, passed through the little Apartment
like the wind, upsetting everything. Regina
hated the mother, hated the daughter, hated the whole
connection, including Arduina, who nevertheless took
her about, introducing her to countesses and duchesses
at whose houses she met others of like rank.
"It's appalling the number of countesses in Rome,"
said Regina to her husband.
She was partly amused, partly wearied; she was not
offended when the grand ladies failed to return her
visits; and she no longer wondered at the shocking
things said in almost all the drawing-rooms about the
people most distinguished in the literary, the political,
and even in the private world.
"Anything is possible," said Marianna, "and what is
most possible of all is that the things they say are
calumnies."
In the early spring Regina had a recrudescence of
nostalgia and discontent. The little Apartment began
to be hot. She stood for hours at the window with the
nervous unquiet of a bird not yet used to its cage.
From the "Pussies' Garden" rose a smell of damp grass
which induced in her spasms of homesickness. Sometimes
she looked down through her eye-glass, and saw
a certain short and plump, pale and bald young man,
strolling round and round the little vase into which the
fountain wept tears of tedium. Life was tedious also
for that young man. Regina remembered seeing him
on the evening of San Stefano in a box at the Costanzi,
his face bloated and yellow as an unripe apricot; and
she had included him in her incendiary hatred. Now
he, too, was bored. Was he bored because he had come
down into the garden, or had he come down into the
garden because he was bored? Sometimes he stood
and teased the goldfish; then he yawned and battered
the flowers with his stick, the wistaria on the walls, the
monthly roses, the innocent daisies.
"He must beat something," thought Regina, and
remembered that she herself was itching to torment
any one or anything. On rainy days—frequent and
tedious—she became depressed, even to hypochondria.
Only one thought comforted her—that of the return to
her home. She counted the days and the hours.
Strange, childish recollections, distant fancies, passed
through her mind like clouds across a sad sky. Details
of her past life waked in her melting tenderness;
she remembered vividly even the humblest persons of
the place, the most secret nooks in the house or in the
wood; with strange insistence she thought of certain
little things which never before had greatly struck her.
For instance, there was an old millstone, belonging to
a ruined mill, which lay in the grass by the river-side.
The remembrance of that old grey millstone, resting
after its labour beside the very stream with which it
had so long wrestled, moved Regina almost to tears.
Often she tried to analyse her nostalgia, asking herself
why she thought of the millstone, of the old blind
chimney sweep, of the portiner (ferryman), who had
enormous hairy hands and was getting on for a hundred;
of the clean-limbed children by the green ditch,
intent on making straw ropes; of the little snails
crawling among the leaves of the plane-trees.
"I am an idiot!" she thought; yet with the thought
came a sudden rush of joy at the idea of soon again
seeing the millstone, the ferryman, the children, the
green ditches, and the little snails.
And outside it rained and rained. Rome was drowned
in mire and gloom. Regina raged like a furious child,
wishing that upon Rome a rain of mud might fall for
evermore, forcing all the inhabitants to emigrate and go
away. Then, then she would return to her birth-place,
to the wide horizons, the pure flowing river of her home;
she would be born anew, she would be Regina once
more, a bird alive and free!
Antonio went out and came in, and always found her
wrapped in her homesick stupor, indifferent to everything
about her.
"Let's take a walk, Regina!"
"Oh, no!"
"It would do you good."
"I am quite well."
"You can't be well. You are so dull. You don't care
for me, that's what it is!"
"Oh, yes, I do! And if I don't, how can I help it?"
Sometimes, indeed, she included even Antonio in the
collective hatred which she nourished against everything
representative of the city. At those moments he seemed
an inferior person, bloodless and half alive, one among
all the other useless phantasms scarce visible in the
rain, through which she alone in her egotism and her
pride loomed gigantic.
But the warm and luminous spring came at last,
and troops of men, women and flower-laden children
spread themselves through the streets, in the depths of
which Regina's short-sighted eyes fancied silvery lakes.
In the fragrant evenings, bathed it would seem in
golden dust, companies of women, fresh as flowers in
their new spring frocks, came down by Via Nazionale,
by the Corso, by Via del Tritone. Carriages passed
heaped up with roses, red motor-cars flew by, bellowing
like young monsters drunk with light, and even they
were garlanded with flowers.
Regina walked and walked, on Antonio's arm, or
sometimes alone; alone among the crowd, alone in the
wave of all those joyous women, whose thoughtlessness
she both envied and despised; alone among the smiling
parties of sisters, companions, friends, by not one of
whom, however, would she have been accompanied for
anything in the world! One day, as she was going up
Piazza Termini, she saw Arduina in the famous black
silk dress with wrinkles on the shoulders. Regina would
have avoided her sister-in-law, but did not set about it
soon enough.
"I've been to your house," said Arduina; "why are you
never at home? it's impossible to catch you. What are
you always doing? Where have you been? Even our
mother complains of you. Why don't you have a baby?"
"Why don't you? And where are you going?"
said Regina, with sarcasm.
"I'm going to the Grand Hotel, to see a very rich
English 'miss.' You can come too, if you like. She's
worth it!"
Regina went, so anxious was she for something to do.
The sunset tinged the Terme and the trees with orange-red.
From the gardens came the cry of children and
twitterings like the rustling of water from innumerable
birds. Higher than all else, above the transparent
vastness of the Piazza, above the fountain, which clear,
luminous, pearly, seemed an immense Murano vase,
towered the Grand Hotel, its gold-lettered name
sparkling on its front like an epigraph on the façade
of a temple.
There was a confusion of carriages before the columns
of the entrance, of servants in livery, of gentlemen in
tall hats, of fashionably attired ladies. A royal carriage
with glossy, jet-black horses, was conspicuous among
the others.
"It must be the Queen," said Arduina. "I'd like to
wait!"
"Good-bye to you, then," returned her sister-in-law,
"where there is one Regina there's no room for another!"
"Good heavens! what presumption!" laughed the
other. "Well, then, come on."
Arduina led the way through the carriages and
through the smart crowd which animated the hall; then
humbly inquired of a waiter if Miss Harris were at home.
The waiter bent his head and listened, but without
looking at the two ladies.
"Miss Harris? I think she's at home. Take a seat,"
he replied absently, his eyes on the distance.
Regina remembered Madame Makuline's awe-inspiring
servants; this man provoked not only awe, but a
sort of terror. They went into the conservatory, and
Arduina looked about with respectful admiration. The
younger lady was silent, lost in the dream world she
saw before her.
Apparently they had intruded into a fête. A strange
light of ruddy gold streamed from the glass roof;
among the palm-trees, treading on rich carpets, was a
phantasmagoria of ladies dressed in silks and satins,
with long rustling trains, their heads, ears, necks,
brilliant with jewels. Bursts of laughter and the buzz
of foreign voices mixed with the rattle of silver and
the ring of china cups. It was a palace of crystal; a
world of joy, of fairy creatures unacquainted with the
realities of life, dwelling in the enchantment of groves
of palms, rosy in the light of dream!
"The realities of life!" thought Regina, "but is not
this the reality of life? It's the life of us mean little
people which is the ugly dream!"
Just then a splendid creature, robed in yellow satin,
who, as she passed, left behind her the effulgence of a
comet, crossed the conservatory, and stopped to speak
to two ladies in black.
"It's Miss Harris!" whispered Arduina; "she's
coming!"
Regina had never imagined there could exist a being
so beautiful and luminous. She watched her with
dilated eyes, while from the far end of the conservatory
breathed slow and voluptuous music overpowering
the voices, the laughter, the rattle of the cups. Miss
Harris drew nearer. Regina's eyes grew wild, she was
overpowered by almost physical torture, by burning
sadness. The rosy sunset light brooding over the palms
as in an Oriental landscape, the warmth, the scent, the
music, the dazzling aspect of the wealthy foreigner, all
produced in her a kind of nostalgia, the atavic recollection
of some wondrous world, where all life was pleasure and
from which she had been exiled. Ah! at that moment
she realised quite clearly what was the ill disease
gnawing at her vitals! Ah! it was not the regret, the
nostalgia for her early home, for her childish past; it
was the death of the dreams which had filled that past,
dreams which had perfumed the air she had breathed,
the paths she had trod, the place where she had dwelt:
dreams which were no fault of her own because born
with her, transmitted in her blood, the blood of a once
dominant race.
Miss Harris approached the corner where sat the
two little bourgeois ladies, trailing her long shining
train, her whole elegant slimness suggesting something
feline. The two foreign ladies accompanied her talking
in incomprehensible French. Arduina had to get up
and smile very humbly before the Englishwoman
recognised her, shook her hand, and spoke with
condescending affability. Then Miss Harris sat down,
her long tail wound round her legs like that of a
reposing cat, and began to talk. She was tired and
bored; she had been for a drive in a motor, had had a
private audience of the Pope, and in half-an-hour was
due at some great lady's reception. She did not look
at Regina at all. After a minute she appeared to forget
Arduina; a little later, the two foreign ladies also. She
seemed talking for her own ears; in her beauty and
splendour she was self-sufficient, like a star which
scintillates for itself alone. From far and near everybody
watched her.
Regina trembled with humiliation. In her modest
short frock she felt herself disappearing; she was
ashamed of her lace scarf; when Miss Harris offered
her a cup of tea she repulsed it with an inimical gesture.
She felt again that sense of puerile hatred which
had assaulted her at the Costanzi on the evening of
San Stefano.
As they left the hotel she said to her sister-in-law,
"I can't think what you came for! Why are you so
mean-spirited? Why did you listen so slavishly to that
woman who hardly noticed your presence?"
"But weren't you listening quite humbly, too?"
"I? I'd like to have seized and throttled you all!
Good God, what fools you women are!"
"My dear Regina," said the other, confounded, "I
don't understand you!"
"I know you don't. What do you understand? Why
do you go to such places? What have you to do with
people like that? Don't you take in that they are the
lords of the earth and we the slaves?"
"But we're the intelligent ones! We are the lords
of the future! Don't you hear the clatter of our wooden
shoes going up and of their satin slippers coming down?"
"We? What, you?" said Regina, contemptuously.
"Mind that carriage!" cried Arduina, pulling her
back.
"You see? They drive over us! What's the good
of intelligence? What is intelligence compared with a
satin train?"
"Oh, I see! You're jealous of the satin train," said
the other, laughing good-humouredly.
"Oh, you're a fool!" cried Regina, beside herself.
"Thanks!" said Arduina, unoffended.
Returned home, Regina threw herself on the ottoman
in the ante-room, and remained there nearly an hour,
beating the devil's tattoo with her foot in time to the
ticking of the clock, which seemed the heart of the little
room. Her own heart was overflown by a wave of
humiliating distress. Ah! even the ridiculous Arduina
had guessed what ailed her.
Daylight was dying in the adjacent room, and the
dining-room, which looked out on the courtyard, was
already overwhelmed in heavy shadow. The open door
made a band of feeble light across the passage of the
ante-room, while in its angles the penumbra continually
darkened. Watching it, Regina reflected.
"The penumbra! What a horrid thing is the
penumbra! Horrid? No, it's worse! It's noxious—soul-stifling!
Better a thousand times the full shadow,
complete darkness. In the shadow there is grief,
desperation, rebellion—all that is life; but in this half-light
it's all tedium, want, agony. It's better to be a
beggar than a little bourgeois. The beggar can yell,
can spit in the face of the prosperous. The little bourgeois
is silent; he's a dead soul, he neither can nor
ought to speak. What does he want? Hasn't he got
the competence already, which some day every one is to
have? His share is already given to him. If he asks
for more he's called ambitious, egotistic, envious. Even
the idiots call him so! Satin trains—green and shining
halls like gardens spread out in the sun—motors like
flying dragons! And the gardens, the beautiful gardens
'half seen through little gates,' country houses hidden
among pines, like rosy women under green lace parasols!
That should be the heritage of the future, of the to-morrow,
promised us though not yet come. But no!
all that is to disappear! The world is small and can't
be divided into more than two parts, the day and the
night, the light and the shade. But some day it's to be
all penumbra! Every one's to be like us, every one's to
live in a little dark Apartment with interminable stairs;
all the streets are to be dusty, overrun by smelly trams,
by troops of middle-class women who will go about on
foot, dressed with sham elegance, wearing mock jewellery,
carrying paper fans; joyous with a pitiable joy.
The whole world will be tedium and destitution. The
beggars won't have attained to the dreams which made
them happy; the children of the rich will live on nostalgia,
remembering the dream which was once reality
to them. What will be the good of living then? Why
am I living now?"
Then suddenly she remembered three figures, all
exactly alike; three figures of an old man in a dreary
room, who smiled and looked at each other with humorous
sympathy, like three friends who understand without
need of words. Work! Work! There's the secret of
life!
The voice of the old Senator resounded still in Regina's
soul. Since seeing him she had learned his story; his
wife, a beautiful woman, brilliant and young, had killed
herself, for what reason none could say. Work!
Work! That was the secret! Perhaps the old Senator,
panegyrising the working woman, had been thinking of
his wife who had never worked.
Work! This was the secret of the world's future.
All would eventually be happy because all would work.
"No! I don't represent the future as I have fondly
fancied. I belong to the present—very much to the
present! I am the parasite par excellence. I eat the
labour of my husband, and I devour his moral life as
well, because he loves me—loves me too much. I don't
even make him happy. Why do I live? What's the
good of me? What use am I? I'm good for nothing
but to bear children; and, in point of fact, I don't want
any children! I shouldn't know how to bring them up!
Besides, what's the good of bringing children into the
world? Wouldn't it be better I had never been born?
What's the good of life?"
Surely her soul had become involved in the shadow
darkening round her! Everything in her seemed dead.
And then suddenly she thought of the luminous evenings
on the shores of her great river at home; and saw
again the wide horizons, the sky all violet and geranium
colour, the infinite depths of the waters, the woods, the
plain. She passed along the banks, the subdued splendour
of all things reflected in her eyes, the water of rosy
lilac, the heavens which flamed behind the wood, the
warm grass which clothed the banks. Young willow-trees
stretched out to drink the shining water, and they
drank, they drank, consumed by an inextinguishable
thirst. She passed on, and as the little willows drank,
so she also drank in dreams from the burning river.
What limitless horizons! What deeps of water! What
tender distant voices carried by the waves, dying on the
night! Was it a call out of a far world? Was it the
crying of birds from the wood? Was it the woodpecker
tapping on the poplar-tree?
Alas, no! it was her own foot beating the devil's
tattoo; it was the clock ticking away indifferently in
the penumbra of the little room; it was the caged
canary moaning for nostalgia in the window opposite,
above the lurid abyss of the courtyard.
Regina jumped to her feet; she was rebellious and
desperate, suffocated by a sense of rage.
"I'll tell him the moment he comes in," she thought;
"I'll cry, 'Why did you take me from there? Why
have you brought me to this place? What can I do
here? I must go away. I require air. I require
light. You can't give me light, you can't give me air,
and you never told me! How was I to know the world
was like this? Away with all these gimcracks, all this
lumber! I don't want it. I only want air! air! air! I
am suffocating! I hate you all! I curse the city and
the men who built it, and the fate which robs us even
of the sight of heaven!'"
She went to her room, and automatically looked in
the glass. By the last glimmer of day she saw her
beautiful shining hair, her shining teeth, her shining
nails, her fine skin which (softened by a light stratum
of "Crema Venus") had almost the transparent delicacy
of Miss Harris's. Her resentment grew. She went to her
dressing-table, snatched up the bottle of "Crema" and
dashed it against the wall. The bottle bounded off on
the bed without breaking. She picked it up and
replaced it on the table.
"No! no! no!" she sobbed, throwing herself on the
pillow, "I will not bear it! I'll say to him, 'Do you see
what I'm becoming? Do you see what you're making
me? To-day a soiling of the face, to-morrow soiling of
the soul! I will go away—I will go away—away! I
will go back home. You are nothing to me!' Yes, I
will tell him the moment he comes in!"
When he came in he found her seated quietly at the
table, busy with the list of purchases for the following
day. It was late, the lamps were lit, the table was laid,
the servant was preparing supper. The whole of the
little dwelling was pervaded by the contemptible yet
merry hissing of the frying-pan and the smell of fried
artichokes. From the window, open towards the garden,
penetrated the contrasting fragrance of laurels and of
grass.
lire. cent.
Milk
0.20
Bread
0.20
Wine
1.10
Meat
1.00
Flour
0.50
Eggs
0.50
Salad
0.05
Butter
0.60
Asparagus
0.50
——
L. 4.65
Antonio came over to the table, bent down, and looked
at the paper on which Regina was writing.
"I was here at six, and couldn't find you," he said.
"I was out."
"Listen. The Princess sent a note to the office asking
me to go to her at half-past six; so I went."
"What did she want?"
"Well—she's beginning to be a nuisance, you know—she
wants me to keep an eye on the man who speculates
for her on the Stock Exchange."
Regina looked up and saw that Antonio's face was
pale and damp.
"On the Stock Exchange? What does that mean?"
"What it means? I'll explain some time. But—well,
really, that woman is becoming a plague!"
"But if she pays you?" said Regina; "and are you
good at speculating?"
"I only wish I had the opportunity!" he exclaimed,
tossing his hat to the sofa; "I wish I had a little of
Madame's superfluous money! But this isn't a case of
speculating. I'm to study the state of the money-market
and audit the operations carried out by Cavaliere
R—— on the Princess's account; take note of the
details of daily transactions; get information from the
brokers; in short, exercise rigorous control over all the
fellow does."
"But," insisted Regina, "she'll pay you well, won't
she?"
"Beg pardon?" he said, mimicking the Princess.
"How much will she pay you?" shouted Regina.
"A hundred lire or so. She's a skinflint, you know."
"Supper's on the table, Signora," announced the
servant with her accustomed elegant decorum.
During the meal Antonio expounded the operations
on 'Change, and other financial matters, talking with a
certain enthusiasm. She appeared interested in what
he told her; yet while she listened her eyes shone with
the vague light of a thought very far away from what
Antonio was saying. That thought was straying in a
dark and empty distance; like a blind man feeling his
way in a strange place, it sought and sought something
to be a point of rest, a support, or at least a
sign.
Suddenly, however, Regina's eyes sparkled and
returned to the world about her.
"Why shouldn't you be Madame's confidential
agent?" she said; "her secretary? I remember what
I dreamed the first night I saw her at Arduina's—that
she was dead and had left us her money!"
"It would be easy enough," said Antonio.
"To get the money?"
"No—the administration of her affairs. True, one
would have to flatter and cringe, and take people in,
especially as she employs two or three others in addition
to the Cavaliere. One would have to intrigue against
them all. I don't care for that sort of business."
"Nor I," said Regina, stiffening.
She rose and moved to the window which overlooked
the garden. Antonio followed her. The night was
warm and voluptuous. The scent of laurel rose ever
sweeter and stronger; patches of yellow light were
spread over the little garden paths like a carpet. Regina
looked down, then raised her eyes towards the darkened
blue of the heavens and sighed, stifling the sigh in a
yawn.
"After all," said Antonio, pursuing his own line of
thought, "are we not happy? What do we lack?"
"Nothing and everything!"
"What is lacking to us, I say?" repeated Antonio,
questioning himself rather than his wife; "what do you
mean by your 'everything'?"
"Do you see the Bear?" she asked, looking up, and
pretending not to have heard this question. He looked
also.
"No, I don't——"
"Then we do lack something! We can't see the
stars."
"What do you want with the stars? Leave them
where they are, for they're quite useless! If there
were anything you really wanted you wouldn't be
crying for the stars."
"Then you think I am lacking in——?" She
touched her forehead.
"So it seems!"
"Perhaps the deficiency is in you," she said quickly.
"Now you're insulting me, and I'll take you and
pitch you out of the window!" he jested, seizing her
waist. "If my wits are deficient, it's because you're
making me lose them with your folly!"
CHAPTER VII
She was not guilty of folly in action, but certainly
her words became stranger and stranger. Antonio
sometimes found them amusing; more often they distressed
him. Though seemingly calm, Regina could
not hide that she was under the dominion of a fixed
idea. What was she thinking about? Even when he
held her in his arms, wrapped in his tenderest embrace,
Antonio felt her far, immeasurably far, away from him.
In the brilliant yet drowsy spring mornings while the
young pair still lay in the big white bed, Antonio
would repeat his questions to himself: "What do we
lack! Are we not happy?"
Through the half-shut windows soft light stole in and
gilded the walls. Infinite beatitude seemed to reign
in the room veiled by that mist of gold, fragrant with
scent, lulled to a repose unshaken by the noises of the
distant world. In the profound sweetness of the
nuptial chamber Regina felt herself at moments conquered
by that somnolent beatitude. Antonio's searching
question had its echo in her soul also. What was it that
they lacked? They were both of them young and strong;
Antonio loved her ardently, blindly. He lived in her.
And he was so handsome! His soft hands, his passionate
eyes, had a magic which often succeeded in intoxicating
her. And yet in those delicious mornings, at the
moments when she seemed happiest, while Antonio
caressed her hair, pulling it down and studying it like
some precious thing, her face would suddenly cloud,
and she would re-commence her extravagant speeches.
"What are we doing with our life?"
Antonio was not alarmed.
"What are we doing? We are living; we love, we
work, eat, sleep, take our walks, and when we can we
go to the play!"
"But that isn't living! Or, at least, it's a useless
life, and I'm sick of it!"
"Then what do you want to be doing?"
"I don't know. I'd like to fly! I don't mean sentimentally,
I mean really. To fly out of the window, in
at the window! I'd like to invent the way!"
"I've thought of it myself sometimes."
"You know nothing about it!" she said, rather
piqued. "No, no! I want to do something you couldn't
understand one bit; which, for that matter, I don't
understand myself!"
"That's very fine!"
"It's like thirsting for an unfindable drink with a
thirst nothing else can assuage. If you had once
felt it——"
"Oh, yes, I have felt it."
"No, you can't have felt it! You know nothing
about it."
"You must explain more clearly."
"Oh, never mind! You don't understand, and that's
enough. Let my hair alone, please."
"I say, what a lot of split hairs you have! You
ought to have them cut, I was telling you——"
"What do I care about hair? It's a perfectly useless
thing."
"Well," he said, after pretending to seek and to find
a happy thought, "why don't you become a tram-conductor?"
and he imitated the rumble of the tram
and the gestures of the conductor.
"I won't demean myself by a reply," she said, and
moved away from him; but presently repented and said—
"Do the little bird!"
"I don't know how to do the little bird!"
"Yes, you do. Go on, like a dear!"
"You're making a fool of me. I understand that
much."
"You don't understand a bit! You do the little bird
so well that I like to see you!"
He drew in his lips, puffed them out, opened and
shut them like the beak of a callow bird. She laughed,
and he laughed for the pleasure of seeing her laugh,
then said—
"What babes we are! If they put that on the stage—good
Lord, think of the hisses!"
"Oh, the stage! That's false if you like! And the
novel. If you wrote a novel in which life was shown as
it really is, every one would cry 'How unnatural!' I do
wish I could write!—could describe life as I understand
it, as it truly is, with its great littlenesses and its mean
greatness! I'd write a book or a play which would
astonish Europe!"
He looked at her, pretending to be so overwhelmed
that he had no words, and again she felt irritated.
"You don't understand anything! You laugh at me!
Yet if I could——"
In spite of himself Antonio became serious.
"Well, why can't you?"
"Because first I should have to——No, I won't
tell you. You can't understand! Besides, I can't
write; I don't know how to express myself. My
thoughts are fine, but I haven't the words. That's the
way with so many! What do you suppose great men,
the so-called great thinkers, are? Fortunate folk who
know how to express themselves! Nietzsche, for instance.
Don't you think I and a hundred others have all
Nietzsche's ideas, without ever having read them?
Only he knew how to set them down, and we don't. I
say Nietzsche, but I might just as well say the author of
the Imitation."
"You should have married an author," said Antonio,
secretly jealous of the man whom Regina had perhaps
dreamed of but never met.
Again she felt vexed. "It's quite useless! You
don't understand me. I can't get on with authors a
bit. Let me alone now. I told you not to fiddle with
my hair!"
"Stop! Don't go away! Let's talk more of your
great thoughts. You think me an idiot. But listen, I
want to say one thing; don't laugh. You want to do
something wonderful. Well, an American author—Emerson,
I think—said to his wife, that the greatest
miracle a woman could perform is——"
"Oh, I know! To have a baby!" she replied, with a
forced smile. "But you see, I think humanity useless,
life not worth living. Still, I don't commit suicide, so
I suppose I do accept life. I admit that a son would be
a fine piece of work. I'd enter on it with enthusiasm,
with pride, if I were sure my son wouldn't turn out just
a little bourgeois like us!"
"He might make a fortune and be a useful member
of society."
"Nonsense! Dreams of a little bourgeois!" she said
bitterly; "he would be just as unhappy as we are!"
"But I am happy!" protested Antonio.
"If you are happy it shows you don't understand anything
about it, and so you are doubly unhappy," she
said vehemently, her eyes darkening disquietingly.
"My dear, you're growing as crazy as your great
writers."
"There you are! the little bourgeois who doesn't
know what he is talking about!"
And so they went on, till Antonio looked at the clock
and jumped up with a start.
"It's past the time! My love, if you had to go down
to the office every day I assure you these notions would
never come into your head."
He hurried to wash; and still busy with the towel,
damp and fresh with the cold water, he came back to
kiss her.
"You're as pink as a strawberry ice!" she said
admiringly, and so they made peace.
With the coming on of the hot days Regina's nostalgia,
nervousness and melancholy increased. At night she
tossed and turned, and sometimes groaned softly. At
last she confessed to Antonio that her heart troubled
her.
"Palpitations for hours at a time till I can hardly
breathe! It feels as if my chest would burst and let
my heart escape. It must be the stairs. I never used
to have palpitations!"
Much alarmed, her husband wished to take her to a
specialist, but this she opposed.
"It will go off the moment I get away," she said.
They decided she must go at the end of June. Antonio
would take his holiday in August and join her, remaining
at her mother's for a fortnight.
"After that, if we've any money left, we'll spend a
few days at Viareggio."
Regina said neither yea nor nay. After the first
seven months the young couple had only 200 lire in
hand. This was barely enough for the journey; Antonio,
however, hoped to put by a little while his wife was
away.
The days passed on; Rome was becoming depopulated,
though the first brief spell of heat had been followed by
renewal of incessant and tiresome rain.
Antonio counted the days.
"Another ten—another eight—and you'll be gone.
What's to become of me all alone for a month?"
Such expressions irritated her. She wished neither
to speak nor to think of her departure.
"Alone? Why need you be alone? You've got
your mother and your brothers!"
"A wife is more than brothers, more than a mother."
"But if I were to die? Suppose I fell ill and the
doctors prescribed a long stay in my home?"
"That's impossible."
"You talk like a child. Why is it impossible? It's
very possible indeed!" she said, still vexed; "whatever I
say you think it nonsense—a thing which can't happen.
Why can't it happen? It's enough to mention some
things——"
"But, Regina," he exclaimed, astonished, "what
makes you so cross?"
"Well, you just explain to me why it's impossible I
should get ill? Am I made of iron? The doctor
might forbid me to climb stairs for a while, and might
tell me to live in the open air, in the country. If he
took that line where would you have me go unless to
my home? Would you forbid me to go there?"
"On the contrary, I should be the first to recommend
it. But it's not the state of affairs at present. Oh!
your palpitation? that will go off. We must see about
an Apartment on a lower floor—though, to say truth,
I've got to regard this little nest of ours with the
greatest affection. We're so cosy here!" he said,
looking round lovingly.
She did not reply, but stepped to the window and
looked out. Her brow clouded. What was the matter
with her? Detestation of the little dwelling where she
felt more and more smothered? or irritation at her
husband's sentimentality?
"This is Friday," she said presently; "I suppose I
ought to go and bid your Princess good-bye. When is
she going away?"
"Middle of July, I think. She's going to Carlsbad."
"Well, let her go to the devil, and all the smart
people with her!"
"That's wicked! Aren't you going to the country
yourself? Think of all the folk who have to stay in the
burning city, workmen in factories, bakers at their
ovens——"
"Precisely what made me swear!" said Regina.
Later she dressed and went to Madame Makuline's;
not because she wanted to see her, but in order to occupy
the interminable summer afternoon.
She pinched her waist very tight, and put on a new
blue dress with many flounces and a long train; she
knew she looked well in it and far more fashionable than
on her first arrival in Rome, but the thought gave her
little satisfaction.
As she was passing the Costanzi she saw the yellow-faced
gentleman who strolled in the "Pussies' Garden."
He was talking to a friend, plump as himself with round,
dull blue eyes, a restless little red dog under his arm.
Regina knew this personage also. He was an actor who
played important parts at the Costanzi. Regina fancied
the two men looked at her admiringly, and she coloured
with satisfaction; then suddenly conceived something
blameworthy in her pleasure, and felt angry with herself,
as a few hours earlier she had been angry with Antonio
for "talking like a child." She arrived at the Princess's
in an aggressive humour, and came in with her head
very high. She did not speak to the servant nor even
look at him, remembering that he always received her
husband and herself with a familiarity not exactly
disrespectful, but somehow humiliating.
Madame Makuline's drawing-room, though its furs
and its carpets had been removed, was still very hot.
Branches of lilac in the great metal vases diffused an intense,
pungent, almost poisonous fragrance. Only two
ladies had called; one of them was abusing Rome to
Marianna, and the girl, unusually ugly, in an absurd, low
red dress, was protesting ferociously and threatening to
bite the slanderer. The Princess listened, pale, cold, her
heavy face immobile. Regina came in, and at once
Marianna rushed to meet her, crying—
"If you are going to say horrid things, too, I shall go
mad!"
Regina sat down, elegantly, winding her train round
her feet as she had seen Miss Harris do; and, having
learned the subject in dispute, said with a malicious
smile—
"Most certainly Rome is odious."
"I'll have to scratch you!" cried Marianna; "and it
will be a thousand pities, for you're quite lovely to-day!
Now you're blushing and you look better still! Your
hat's just like one I saw at Buda-Pesth on a grand
duchess."
"Rome odious?" said the Princess, turning to
Regina, who was still smiling sarcastically; "that's not
what you said a few days ago."
"It's easy to change one's opinion."
"Beg pardon?"
"It's easy to change one's opinion," shouted Regina,
irritated; "besides, I said the other day that Rome was
delightful for the rich. It's altogether abominable for the
poor. The poor man, at Rome, is like a beggar before
the shut door of a palace, a beggar gnawing a bone——"
"Which is occasionally snapped up by the rich man's
dog," put in Marianna.
The other laughed nervously.
"Just so!" she said.
The Princess raised her little yellow eyes to Regina's
face and studied it for a moment, then turned to the lady
at her side and talked to her in German. Regina
fancied Madame had meant her to understand something
by that look, something distressing, disagreeable,
humiliating; and her laughter ceased.
"June 28, 1900.
"Antonio,—
"You will read this letter after I am gone, while
you are still sad. You will perhaps think it dictated
by a passing caprice. If you could only know how
many days, how many weeks, how many months even, I
have thought it over, examined it, tortured myself with
it! If you knew how many and many times I have
tried to express in words what I am now going to write
to you! I have never found it possible to speak; some
tyrannous force has always prevented me from opening
my heart to you. I felt that by word of mouth we
should never arrive at understanding each other. Who
knows whether, even now, you can or will understand
me! I fancied it would be easy to explain in a letter;
but now—now I feel how painful and difficult it must
be. I should have liked to wait till I was there, at
home, to write this letter to you; but I don't want to
put it off any longer, and above all I don't wish you
to think that outside influences, or the wishes of others,
have pushed me to this step. No, my best, dearest
Antonio! we two by ourselves, far from every strange
and molesting voice, we two, alone, shall decide our
destiny. Hear me! I am going to try and explain to
you my whole thought as best I can. Listen, Antonio!
A few days ago I said, 'Suppose I were to fall ill and
the doctors were to order me to return to my native air
and to stay for a short time in my own country, would
you forbid me to obey?' And you ended by confessing
you would be the first to counsel obedience. Well,
I am really ill, of a moral sickness which consumes me
worse than any physical disorder; and I do need to
return to my own country and to remain there for some
time. Oh, Antonio! my adored, my friend, my brother,
force yourself to understand me; to read deep into
these lines as if you were reading my very soul! I love
you. I married you for love; for that unspeakable
love born of dreams and enchantments which is felt
but once in a life. More than ever at this moment
I feel that I love you, and that I am united to you
for my whole life and for what is beyond. When you
appeared to me there, on the green river-banks, the
line of which had cut like a knife through the horizon
of all my dreams, I saw in you something radiant;
I saw in you the very incarnation of my most beautiful
visions. How many years had I not dreamed of you,
waited for you! This delicious expectation was already
beginning to be shrouded in fear and sadness, was
beginning to seem altogether vague when you appeared!
You were to me the whole unknown world, the wondrous
world which books, dreams—heredity also—had
created within me. You were the burning, the fragrant,
the intoxicating whirlwind of life; you were everything
my youth, my instinct, my soul, had yearned for of
maddest and sweetest. Even if you had been ugly,
fat, poorer than you are, I should have loved you. You
had come from Rome, you were returning to Rome—that
was enough! No one, neither you nor any one
not born and bred in provincial remoteness, can conceive
what the most paltry official from the capital—dropped
by chance into that remoteness—represents to an
ignorant visionary girl. How often here in Rome have
I not watched the crowds in Via Nazionale, and laughed
bitterly while I thought that if the lowest of those
little citizens walking there, the meanest, the most
anæmic, the most contemptible of those little clerks,
one with an incomplete soul, dropped like an unripe
fruit, one of those who now move me only to pity, had
passed by on that river-bank before our house—he
might have been able to awaken in me an overwhelming
passion! My whole soul revolts at the mere
thought. But do not you take offence, Antonio! You
are not one of those; you were and you are for me something
altogether different. And now, though the
enchantment of my vain dreams has dissolved, you
are for me something entirely beyond even those
dreams. You were and you are for me, the one man,
the good loyal man, the lover, young and dear, whom
the girl places in the centre of all her dreams—which
he completes and adorns, dominating them as a statue
dominates a garden of flowers.
"But our garden, Antonio, our garden is arid and
melancholy. We were as yet too poor to come together
and to make a garden. My eyes were blindfolded when
I married you and came with you to Rome; I fancied
that in Rome our two little incomes would represent
as much as they represented in my country. I have
perceived, too late, that instead they are hardly
sufficient for our daily bread. And on bread alone
one cannot live. It means death, or at least grave
sickness for any one unused to such a diet. And love,
no matter how great, is not enough to cure the sick
one!
"Alas! as I repeat, I am sick! The shock of reality,
the hardness of that daily bread, has produced in me a
sort of moral anæmia; and the disease has become so
acute that I can't get on any longer. For me this life
in Rome is a martyrdom. It is absolute necessity that
I should flee from it for a time, retire into my den, as
they say sick animals do, and get cured—above all, get
used to the thought, to the duty, of spending my life
like this.
"Antonio! my Antonio! force yourself to understand
me, even if I don't succeed in expressing myself as I
wish. Let me go back to my nest, to my mother!
I will tell her I am really ill and in need of my native
air. Leave me with her for a year, or perhaps two.
Let us do what we ought to have done in the first
instance, let us wait. Let us wait as a betrothed couple
waits for the hour of union. I will accustom myself to
the idea of a life different from what I had dreamed.
Meanwhile your position (and perhaps mine, too, who
knows?) will improve. Are there not many who do
this? Why, my own cousin did it! Her husband was
a professor in the Gymnasium at Milan. Together they
could not have managed. But she went back home, and
he studied and tried for a better berth, and presently
became professor at the Lyceum in another town.
Then they were re-united, and now they're as happy as
can be.
"'But,' you will say, 'we can live together. We
have no lack of anything.'
"'True,' I repeat, 'we don't lack for bread; but
one cannot live by bread alone,' Do you remember
the evening when I asked you whether from our
habitation you could see the Great Bear? You laughed
at me and said I was crazy; and who knows! perhaps
I am really mad! But I know my madness is of a
kind which can be cured; and that is all I want,
just to be cured—to be cured before the disease grows
worse.
"Listen, Antonio! You also, unintentionally I know,
but certainly, have been in the wrong. You did not
mean it; it's Fate which has been playing with us!
In the sweet evenings of our engagement, when I
talked to you of Rome with a tremble in my voice, you
ought to have seen I was the dupe of foolish fancies.
You ought to have discerned my vain and splendid
dream through my words, as one discerns the moon
through the evening mist. But instead you fed my
dream; you talked of princesses, drawing-rooms,
receptions! And when we arrived in Rome, you
should have taken me at once to our own little home;
you shouldn't have put between us for weeks and months
persons dear, of course, to you, but total strangers to me.
They were kind to me, I know, and are so still; I did
my best to love them, but it was impossible to have
communion of spirit with them all at once. Above all,
you ought to have kept me away from that world of
the rich of which I had dreamed, which is not and
never will be mine.
"Do you see? It's as if I had touched the fire and
something had been burned in me. Is it my fault?
If I am in fault it's because I am not able to pretend.
Another woman in my place, feeling as I feel, would
pretend, would apparently accept the reality, would
remain with you; but—would poison your whole
existence! Even I, you remember, I in the first
months worried you with my sadness, my complaints,
my contempt. I knew how wrong I was, I was
ashamed and remorseful. If we had gone on like that,
if the idea which I am broaching now had not flashed into
my mind, we should have ended as so many end;
bickering to-day, scandal to-morrow; crime, perhaps, in
the end. I felt a vortex round me. It is not that I am
romantic; I am sceptical rather than romantic; but
everything small, sordid, vulgar, wounds my soul. I
am like a sick person, who at the least annoyance
becomes selfish, loses all conscience, and is capable of
any bad action. Again I say, is it my fault? I was
born like that and I can't re-make myself. There are
many women like me, some of them worse because
weaker. They don't know how to stop in time, on the
edge of the precipice; they neither see, nor study how
to avoid it. And yet, Antonio, I do care for you! I
love you more, much more than when we were betrothed.
I love you most passionately. It is chiefly
on this account that I make the sacrifice of exiling
myself from you for a while. I don't want to cause
you unhappiness! Tears are bathing my face, my
whole heart bleeds. But it is necessary, it is fate,
that we separate! It kills me thinking of it, but
it's necessary, necessary! Dear, dear, dear Antonio!
understand me. Beloved Antonio, read and re-read my
words, and don't give them a different signification
from what is given by my heart. Above
all, hear me as if I were lying on your breast, weeping
there all my tears. Hear and understand as
sometimes you have heard and understood. Do you
remember Christmas morning? I was crying, and I
fancied I saw your eyes clouded too: it was at that
moment I realised that I loved you above everything
in all the world, and I decided then to make some
sacrifice for you. This is the sacrifice; to leave you
for a while in the endeavour to get cured and to come
back to you restored and content. Then in my little
home I will live for you; and I will work; yes, I
also will bring my stone to the edifice of our future
well-being. We are young, still too young; we can
do a great deal if we really wish it. Neither of
us have any doubts of the other; you are sure of
me; I also am sure of you. I know how you love
me, and that you love me just because I am what
I am.
"Listen; after two or three weeks you shall come to
my mother's as we have arranged. You must pretend
to find me still so unwell that you decide to leave me
till I am better. Then you shall return to Rome and
live thinking of me. You shall study, compete for some
better post. The months will pass, we will write to
each other every day, we will economise—or, what is
better, accumulate treasures—of love and of money.
Our position will improve, and when we come
together again we shall begin a new honeymoon, very
different from the first, and it shall last for the whole of
our life."
Having reached this point in her letter, Regina
felt quite frozen up, as if a blast of icy wind had struck
her shoulders. This she was writing—was it not
all illusion? all a lie? Words! Words! Who could
know how the future would be made? The word made
came spontaneously into her thought, and she was
struck by it. Who makes the future? No one. We
make it ourselves by our present.
"I shall make my future with this letter, only not
even I can know what future I shall make."
Regina felt afraid of this obscure work; then
suddenly she cheered, remembering that all she had
written in the letter was really there in her heart.
Illusion it might be, but for her it was truth. Then,
come what might, why should she be afraid? Life is
for those who have the courage to carry out their own
ideas!
It seemed needless to prolong the letter. She had
already said too many useless things, perhaps without
succeeding in the expression of what was really
whirling in her soul. She rapidly set down a few
concluding lines.
"Write to me at once when you have read this—no,
not at once! let a few hours pass first. There is much
more I should like to say, but I cannot, my heart is too
full, I am in too great suffering. Forgive me, Antonio,
if I cause you pain at the moment in which you read
this; out of that pain there will be born great joy.
Reassure me by telling me you understand and approve
my idea. Far away there I shall recover all we have
lost in the wretched experience of these last months.
I will await your letter as one awaits a sentence; then
I will write to you again. I will tell you, or try to tell
you, all which now swells my heart to bursting. Good-bye—till
we meet again. See! I am already crying
at the thought of the kiss which I shall give you
before I go. God only knows the anguish, the love,
the promise, the hope, which that kiss will contain.
"Whatever you shall think of me, Antonio, at least do
not accuse me of lightness. Remember that I am
your own Regina; your sick, your strange, but not your
disloyal and wicked.
"Regina."
The letter ended, she folded and shut it hurriedly
without reading it over. Then she felt qualms; some
little word might have escaped her; some little particle
which might change the whole sense of a phrase. She
reopened the envelope, read with apprehension and
distaste, but corrected nothing, added nothing. Her
grief was agonising. Ah! how cold, how badly
expressed, was that letter! Into its lifeless pages had
passed nothing of all which was seething in her heart!
"And I was imagining I could write a novel—a
play! I, who am incapable of writing even a letter!
But he will understand," she thought, shutting the
letter a second time, "I am quite sure he will understand!
Now where am I to put it? Suppose he were
to find it before I am off? Whatever would happen?
He would laugh; but if he finds it afterwards—he
will perhaps cry. Ah! that's it, I'll lay it on his
little table just before I go."
With these and other trivial thoughts, with little
hesitations which she had already considered and
resolved, she tried to banish the sadness and anxiety
which were agitating her.
She pulled out her trunks, for she was to start next
morning by the nine o'clock express, and she had not
yet packed a thing. The whole long afternoon had
gone by while she was writing.
"What will he do?" she kept thinking; "will he
keep on the Apartment? And the maid? Will he
betray me? No, he won't betray me. I'm sure of that.
I'll suggest he should go back to his mother and
brothers. So long as they don't poison his mind
against me! Perhaps he'll let the rooms furnished.
How much would he get for them? 100 lire? But
no! he's sentimental about them. He wouldn't
like strangers, vulgar creatures perhaps, to come and
profane our nest, as he calls it. And shouldn't
I hate it myself? Folly! Nonsense! I have suffered
so much here that the furniture, these two carpets
with the yellow dogs on them, are odious to me.
I never wish to see any of the things again! And
yet——Come, Regina! you're a fool, a fool, a fool!
But what will he do with my trousseau things? Will he
take them to his mother's? Well, what do I care?
Let him settle it as he likes."
Every now and again she was assailed by a thought
that had often worried her before. If he were not
to forgive? In that case how was their story going
to end? But no! Nonsense! It was impossible he
should not forgive! At the worst he would come after
her to persuade or force her to return. She would
resist and convince him. Already she imagined that
scene, lived through it. Already she felt the pain of
the second parting. Meanwhile she had filled her
trunk, but was not at all satisfied with her work.
What a horrid, idiotic thing life was! Farewells, and
always farewells, until the final farewell of death.
"Death! Since we all have to die," she thought,
emptying the trunk and rearranging it, "why do we
subject ourselves to so much needless annoyance?
Why, for instance, am I going away? Well, the time
will pass all the same. It's just because one has to die
that one must spend one's life as well as one can. A
year or two will soon go over, but thirty or forty years
are very long. And in two years——Well," she
continued, folding and refolding a dress which would
not lie flat in the tray, "is it true that in two years
our circumstances will have improved? Shall I be
happier? Shall I not begin this same life over again—will
it not go on for ever and ever to the very end?
To die—to go away——Well, for that journey I
shan't anyhow have the bother of doing up this
detestable portmanteau; There!" (and she snatched
up the dress in a fury and flung it away), "why won't
even you get yourself folded the way I want? Come,
what's the good of taking you at all? There won't be
any one to dress for there!"
She threw herself on the bed and burst into tears.
She realised for the moment the absurdity, the naughtiness
of her caprice. She repeated that it was all a lie;
what she wanted was just to annoy her husband, out of
natural malice, out of a childish desire for revenge.
But after a minute she got up, dried her eyes, and
soberly refolded the dress.
When Antonio came in he found her still busy with
the luggage.
"Help me to shut it," said Regina, and while he
bent over the lock, which was a little out of order,
she added—
"Suppose there's a railway accident, and I get
killed?"
"Let's hope not," he replied absently.
"Or suppose I am awfully hurt? Suppose I am
taken to some hospital and have to remain there a
long time?"
This time he made no reply at all.
"Do say something! What would you do?"
"Why on earth are you always thinking of such
things? If you have these fancies why are you going
away? There! It's locked. Where are the straps?"
he asked, getting up.
She looked at him as he stood before her, so tall, so
handsome, so upright, his eyes brilliant in the rosy
sunset light.
"To-morrow we shall be far apart!" she cried, flinging
herself on his neck and kissing him deliriously;
"you will be true to me! Say you will be true to me!
Oh, God! if we should never see each other again!"
"You do love me, then?"
"So much—so much——"
He saw her turn pale and tremble, and he pressed
her to him, losing all consciousness of himself, overwhelmed
by the pleasure and the passion which intoxicated
him each time Regina showed him any
tenderness.
They kissed each other, and their kisses had a
warmth, a bitterness, an occult savour of anguish,
which produced a sense of ineffable voluptuousness.
Regina wept; Antonio said senseless things and
implored her not to leave him.
Then they both laughed.
"After all you aren't going to the North Pole," said
Antonio. "I declare you are really crying! Pooh! a
month will soon pass. And I'll come very soon. At
this hour we'll go out together in a boat, when the Po
is all rosy——"
"If there isn't a railway accident!" she said bitterly.
"Well! here are the straps. Pull them as tight as you
can."
PART II
CHAPTER I
The crazy little carriage belonging to Petrin il Gliglo
rattled along by the river-side towards Viadana. Regina
was seated, not particularly comfortably, between her
brother and sister, who had come to meet her at Casalmaggiore
station. She laughed and talked, but now
and then fell silent, absent-minded, and sad. Then
Toscana and Gigino, being slightly in awe of her,
became also silent and embarrassed.
The night was hot; the sky opaque blue, furrowed by
long grey clouds. The big red moon, just risen above
the horizon, illumined the river and the motionless
woods with a splendour suggestive of far-off fire. The
immense silence was now and then broken by distant
voices from across the Po; a sharp damp odour of grass
flooded the air, waking in Regina a train of melancholy
associations.
Now she had arrived, now she was in the place of her
nostalgia, in the dreamed-of harbour of refuge, it was
strange that her soul was still lost to her. Just as at
one time she had seemed to herself to have taken
only her outward person to Rome, leaving her soul like
a wandering firefly on the banks of the Po, so now it
was only her suffering and tired body which she had
brought back to the river-side. Her soul had escaped—flown
back to Rome. What was Antonio doing at this
hour? Was he very miserable? Was he conscious of
his wife's soul pressing him tighter than ever her arms
had pressed him? Had he written to her? Antonio!
Antonio! Burning tears filled her eyes, and she suddenly
fell silent, her thoughts wandering and lost in a
sorrowful far-away.
She had already repented her letter, or at least of
having written it so soon. She could have sent it quite
well from here! He would have felt it less—so she
told herself, trying to disguise her remorse.
"And the Master? And Gabri and Gabrie?" she
asked aloud, as they passed Fossa Caprara, whose little
white church, flushed by the moon, stood up clearly
against the blackness of the meadow-side plane-trees.
At the other side of the road was a row of silver
willows, and between them the river glistened like
antique, lightly oxidised glass. The whole scene suggested
a picture by Baratta.
Toscana and Gigi both broke into stifled laughter.
"What's the matter?" queried Regina.
The boy controlled himself, but Toscana laughed
louder.
"Whatever is it? Is the Master going to be
married?"
"Lu el vorres, se, ma li doni li nal veul mia, corpu dla
madosca (He'd be willing enough, but the women
won't have him)," said Petrin, turning a little and
joining in the "children's" talk.
"They want to go to—to Rome! Gabri and Gabrie!"
said Toscana at last, and her brother again burst out
laughing.
"Why do they want to go to Rome?"
"Gabri wants to get a place and to help Gabrie in her
studies, as she intends to be a Professor——"
"Ah! Ah! Ah!"
Then they laughed, all four, and Regina forgot her
troubles. The boy and girl thought of going to Rome,
as they thought of going to Viadana, without help and
without money! It was amusing.
"And what does the Master say?"
"He's mad!" interrupted Petrin, turning his face,
which was round and red like the moon. "El diss, chi
vaga magari a pe: i dventarà na gran roba (He says
let them go if it's even on foot! they'll turn out
great!)."
Then Gigi mimicked Gabri, who talked through his
nose:—
"We could go to Milan, of course, but there's no
university there which admits women, like the universities
of Florence and Rome. Rome is the capital of
Italy; we'll go there. I'll be a printer, and Gabrie
shall study."
And Toscana mimicked Gabrie:—
"My brother shall print all my books."
"My dear children, I think you are jealous," said
Regina.
"Oh!" they cried, cut to the quick, for Gigi
did verily want to go to Rome for his college
course, and Toscana, who had a pretty mezzo-soprano
voice, had a plan of living at her sister's to learn
singing.
Regina became thoughtful, guessing their own and
their friends' dreams, and remembering her own earlier
illusions. She vainly sought to shake off the sadness,
the remorse, the presentiment of evil, which was
weighing her down.
"And you, Petrin, I suppose you want to go to Rome
too? Couldn't you bring Gabri and Gabrie in this
chaise?"
"I'm going to Paris," the man answered, stolidly.
"To be sure! I remember you thought of it last
year. You said you had enough money."
"So I have still. I can't spend it here, and my uncle
in Paris keeps writing 'Come! Come!'"
Regina was not listening. She was caught up in a
pleasure, expected indeed, which yet took her by surprise,
soothing her sick heart as a balsam soothes a
wound. For there, in the hollow behind the row of
black trees bordering the viassolin (lane), was the little
white house, a lamp shining from its window! Already
she heard the scraping voice of the frogs, which croaked
in the ditch beside the lane. Shadows of two persons
were spread across the road, and a soprano voice resounded
in a prolonged call, like the shout of a would-be
passenger to the ferryman on the opposite bank of
the river—
"Regina—a—a——"
"It's that fool Adamo," said Gigi; "he's always
calling you like that. He says you ought to hear him
in Rome. She shouts, too," he added, pinching Toscana's
knee.
"And so do you," said Toscana.
The voice rang out again, sent back by the water,
echoing to the farther shore. Regina jumped from the
carriage, and ran towards the two dear shadows. One
of them separated itself from the other and rushed
madly. It was the boy, and he fell upon Regina like
a thunderbolt, hugging her, squeezing her tightly, even
pretending to roll her into the river.
"Adamo! Are you gone mad?" she cried, resisting
him. "Do you want to break my bones?"
Then Adamo, whose great dark eyes were brilliant in
the moonlight, remembered Regina had written something
about being ill, and he too became suddenly shy
of her.
"How you've grown!" she exclaimed. "Why, you're
two inches taller than I am!"
"Ill weeds grow apace," said Gigino. Then Adamo,
who for fifteen was really a giant, gave Toscana a push
en passant, and sprang upon his brother, trying to roll
him down the bank. Shouts of laughter, exclamations,
a perfect explosion of fun and childish thoughtlessness
filled the perfumed silence. Regina left the children
to forget her in this rough amusement, and hurried on
to her mother.
They embraced without a word; then Signora
Tagliamari asked for Antonio.
"I thought he would have come to take care
of you!" she said. "Frankly now, how are you
getting on together? You haven't had any little
difference——"
"Oh dear no!" cried Regina. "I told you he couldn't
get away just now. I've been bothered with a lot of
palpitation—we've more than a hundred steps, you
know. Fancy having to climb a hundred steps three
or four times every day! Antonio got anxious and took
me to a specialist—an extortioner—who demanded ten
lire for just putting a little black cup against my chest!
'Native air,' he said; 'a few months of her native air!'
But now I'm all right again. It's almost gone off. I'll
stay for a month, or two months at the outside. Then
Antonio will come for me——"
Mother and daughter talked in dialect, and looked
each other fixedly in the face. The moon, white now
and high in the heavens from which the clouds had
cleared, illumined their brows. Signora Caterina, not
yet forty-five years of age, was so like Regina that she
seemed her elder sister. Her complexion was even
fresher, and she had great innocent eyes, more peaceful
than her daughter's. Regina, however, thought her
much aged, and her black dress with sleeves puffed on
the shoulders, which a year ago she had believed very
smart, now seemed absurdly antiquated.
"He's coming to fetch you?" repeated the mother;
"that's all right."
Regina's heart tightened. Would Antonio really
come? Suppose he were mortally offended and refused
to come? But no—no—she would not even fancy it!
Before traversing the short footpath which led
between hedges to the villa, she stood to contemplate
the beautiful river landscape bathed in moonlight. A
veil seemed to have been lifted. Everything now was
clear and pure; the air had become fresh and transparent
as crystal. The dark green of the grass contrasted
with the grey-green of the willows; the ditches
reflected the moon and the light trunks of the poplar-trees,
whose silver leaves were like lace on the velvet
background of the sky. The house, small to her who
was returning from the city of enormous buildings, was
white against the green of the meadows. Round it
the vines festooned from tree to tree, following each
other, interlacing with each other, as in some silent nocturnal
dance. The great landscape, surrounding and
encompassing like the high seas seen from a moving ship,
the wide river, familiar from her childhood, with its
little fantastic islands, shut in by the solemn outline of
the woods, by the far-reaching background, where a few
white towers gleamed faintly through the lunar mist,
relieved and expanded Regina's soul by pure immensity.
Swarms of fireflies flashed like little shooting stars;
the mills made pleasant music; the freshness and sweetness
of running water vivified the air; all was peace,
transparence, purity. Yet Regina felt some subtle
change even in the serenity of the great landscape, as
she felt it in the countenance of her mother, in the
manners of her brothers and sister. No, the landscape
was no longer that; the dear people were no longer
those. Who, what had changed them thus? She
descended the little path, and the frogs redoubled their
croaks as if saluting her passage. She remembered the
damp and foggy morning in which she had gone away
with Antonio. Then all around was cloud, but a great
light shone in her soul; now all was brilliant—the
heaven, the stream, the fireflies, the blades of grass, the
water in the ditches—but the gloom was dark within
herself.
Another minute, and she was inside the house. Alas!
it also was changed! The rooms were naked and
unadorned. Dear! how small and shabby was Baratta's
picture over the chimneypiece in the dining-parlour!
It was no longer that one!
They sat down to supper, which was lively and noisy
enough. Then Regina went out again, and, in spite of
the fatigue which stiffened her limbs, she walked a
long way by the river-side. Adamo and her sister
were with her, but she felt alone, quite alone and very
sad. He was far away, and his presence was wanted to
fill the wondrous solitude of that pure and luminous
night. What was he doing? Even in Rome at the
end of June the nights are sweet and suggestive.
Regina thought of the evening walks with Antonio,
through wide and lonely streets near the Villa Ludovisi.
The moon would be rising above the tree tops, and sometimes
Antonio would take his inattentive wife in by
saying—
"How high up that electric light is!"
The fragrance of the gardens mixed with the scent of
hay carted in from the Campagna, and the tinkle of a
mandoline, moved the heart of the homesick Regina.
Yes; even at Rome the nights had been delicious before
the great heat had come, when already many of the
people had gone away. Now she too had gone, and
who could know if she would return? Who could tell if
Antonio would want her ever again! Lost in this
gnawing fear, she suddenly started and checked her
steps. There, on the edge of the bank, abandoned in the
lush grass, was that despised old millstone, which so often
had stood before her eyes in her attacks of Nostalgia.
Now she saw it in reality, and she noticed for the first
time that it lay just exactly where a little track started,
leading to the river through a grove of young willows
and acacias. One evening, last autumn, standing on
that little sandy path in the rosy shadow of the thicket,
Antonio had sung her the song "The Pearl Fishers," and
presently they had exchanged their first kiss. Now
still she heard his voice vibrating in her soul.
"Mi par d'udire ancora."
(Still meseems I hear thee.)
And now she understood why she had always remembered
the old stone. It would have meant nothing to
her if it had not lain exactly at that spot, on that little
tree-shadowed pathway, which was full of memories of
him.
She stepped down it, standing for a minute among
the willows, which had grown immensely, then approaching
the water, now all bluish-white, gleaming
under the moon. But the Po had made a new island,
as soft and frothy as a chocolate cream, and even the
river-side seemed to her changed.
Adamo and Toscana descended also to the water's
edge, and the girl began to sing. Her voice trembled
in the moonlit silence like the gurgle of a nightingale.
Why she knew not, but Regina remembered the first
evening at the Princess's and the voice of the elderly
lady who had sung
"A te, cara."
How far off was that world! So far that perhaps she
might never—never enter it again!
Ah! well! that mattered nothing! In this moonlight
hour, in face of the purity of the river and of
her native landscape, she seemed to have awakened
from some pernicious intoxicating dream. Yet she was
tormented by the doubt, the fear, that never again
would she see the personages of her fevered dream, because
never would Antonio come to lead her back into
that far-off world. The days would pass, the months, the
years. He would never come. Never! not after the
three years of her suggesting, nor after ten, nor after
twenty! How was it she had not thought of this when
she had secretly planned her flight, even as a bird
schemes to leave its cage without considering the perils
to which it must expose itself? How could she help
it? Which of us knows what we shall think or feel
to-morrow? She had been dreaming; she was dreaming
still. Even her increased terror, her fear that
Antonio would forget her, was perhaps no more than a
dreadful dream. But—if her dread should prove
reality——
"What would become of me?" she thought, seemingly
fascinated by the splendour of the running water.
"There is no longer any place for me here. Everything
is changed; everything seems to mistrust me.
I have been a traitor to my old world, and now it
pushes me from it! And I—I did not foresee
that!"
"Come! Let us go!" she said, shaking herself and
returning to the main path. She walked along, her
head drooping, thinking she was surely mistaken. Her
old world could not betray her! It was too old to be
guilty of any such crime!
"Life is certainly quite different here, but I'll
get used to it again. To-morrow, by daylight, when
I am rested, I shall see everything in its old sweet
aspect!"
For the present she dared not raise her eyes, lest she
should see the willow which had protected their first
kiss. She hurried past, fearful of an unforgettable
spectre.
Toscana followed her singing, while Adamo, whose
figure showed like a black spot on the glistening enamel
of the water, amused himself shouting—
"Antonio—o—o. Antonio—o—o."
The sonorous tones echoed back from the river, and
Regina hastened her steps lest her sister should see her
scalding tears.
Ah! He made no response. Never again would he
answer, never again!
But the next morning's sun dispersed Regina's childish
fears, her anxiety, and her remorse.
"I shall hear from him to-day or to-morrow," she
thought, waking in her old room, the window of which
gave on the river. A swallow, which was used to come
in and roost on the blind rod, flew round the room and
pecked at the shut window. Regina jumped out of
bed and opened it. The sight of the swallow had
filled her heart with sudden joy, which increased at
sight of the smiling landscape. Irresistibly impelled,
she left the house and wandered through the fields,
refreshing her spirit in the intoxicating bath of greenness
and morning sun and lingering dew. She followed
little grassy paths, at the entrance to which tall poplars
reared their white stems like gigantic columns, their
tops blending into one shimmering roof. She passed
along the ditches populated by families of peaceful
ducks; the little snails crept along, leaving their silvery
tracks upon the grass; woodpeckers concealed in the
poplars marked time with their beaks in the serenity
of space and solitude.
As in the moonlit evening, so now in the sunshine,
every blade of grass, every leaf, every little stone,
sparkled and shone. The river rolled on its majestic
course, furrowed by paths of gold, flecked here and
there by pearly whirlpools. The islands, covered with
evanescent vegetation, with the lace of trembling
foliage, divided the splendours of the water and of the
sky. Spring was still luxuriant over the immensity of
the plain—spring strong as a giantess, kissed by her
lover the river, decked by the thousand hands of the
husbandmen, her slaves.
But when she was tired Regina threw herself upon
the clover, still wet with dewdrops, and at once her
thoughts flew far away. In the afternoon she began
again to feel anxious and sad.
That very day visits began from inquisitive, tiresome,
interested people—relations, friends, persons who wanted
favours. They all imagined Regina influential to obtain
anything, just because she lived in Rome. She was
amused at first, but presently she wearied. All these
people who came to greet and to flatter her seemed to
have changed, to have grown older, simpler, less significant,
than she had left them.
The Master himself came, with Gabriella, a small
fair-haired creature, with pale, round face, and steely
eyes, very bright, very deep, very observant.
"And so here is our Regina!" said the Master,
buttoning his coat across his narrow chest. "Oh,
bravissima! I got the postcard with the picture of
the Colosseum. That really is a monument! Oh, brava,
our Regina! I suppose you have visited all the monuments,
both pagan and Christian? And seen the works
of Michaelangelo Buonarotti? Oh, Rome! Rome!
Yes, I wish my two children could get to the eternal
Rome."
"Papa!" said Gabrie, watching Regina to see if she
were laughing at him.
But Regina was merely cold and indifferent—an
attitude which relieved but slightly intimidated the
future lady-professor. A little later came a young lady
of a titled family from Sabbioneta. She had a lovely
slender figure, and was very pale, with black hair
dressed à la Botticelli; she was smart also, wearing
white gloves and tan shoes with very high heels.
Toscana, Gabrie and this young lady were all the
same age—about eighteen—clever and unripe, like all
school-girls. They were nominally friends. Regina,
however, saw they envied and nearly hated each
other. The aristocratic damsel gave herself airs, and
spoke impertinences with much grace.
"Good gracious! What heels!" said Gabrie, whom
nothing escaped. "But they're quite out of fashion!"
"They're always in fashion among the nobility,"
explained the other, condescendingly. Then they talked
of a little scandal which had arisen the day before, in
consequence of two Sabbioneta ladies having quarrelled
in the street.
"Wives of clerks!" said the Signorina, contemptuously.
"Women of the upper aristocracy would never
behave like that!"
"But," said Regina, "where have you known any
women of the upper aristocracy?"
"Oh! one meets them everywhere!"
"Look here, my dear; if you were to find yourself
beside a lady of the upper aristocracy, and if she
deigned to look at you at all, you would be frozen with
humiliation and alarm."
The other girls giggled, and the Master asked
eagerly—
"Regina, I wonder do you know the Duchess
Colonna of San Pietro?"
"Chi lo sa? There are no end of duchesses in
Rome!"
"We have an introduction to that great lady from a
friend of ours at Parma."
"Papa!" cried Gabrie, red with indignation and
pride, "I don't require any introductions! I snap my
fingers at great ladies one and all! What could they
possibly do for me?"
"My dear child," began Regina, pitying and sarcastic,
"great ladies rule the world; and so——"
She stopped and turned pale, for there was a loud
knock at the door. She fancied it the bicycling postman,
who brought telegrams to the villages between
Casalmaggiore and Viadana. But no; it was not
he.
Evening fell—red and splendid as a conflagration.
The three girls went out, and Regina lingered at the
window, scrutinising the distance and looking for the
telegraph messenger's bicycle.
The Master and Signora Tagliamari sat on a blue
Louis XV sofa at the end of the room, and talked
quietly. Now and then they threw a glance at Regina,
who scarcely tried to conceal her sadness and disquiet.
The Master, hoping she was listening, talked of the
dreams and ambitions of his children.
"Well, as they wish it, we must let them work and
conquer the world. What can they do here? Be
a school-master? A school-mistress? No, thank
you!"
"But if they go away, won't you miss them very
much?"
"That's not the question, Signora Caterina! It's
like a tearing out of the vitals when the young ones
leave the parents. But the parents have brought them
into the world to see them live, not vegetate. Ah, my
children!" said the Master, stretching out his arms
with great emotion, "the nest will remain empty and
the old father will end his days in sorrow as, in truth,
he began them; but in his heart, Signora Caterina, in
his heart he will say with great joy, 'I have done my
duty. I have taught my little ones to fly!' Oh, that
my parents had done as much for me. Ah!"
Regina still looked out. She heard the Master's
babble; she heard the fresh voices and the laughter of
the three young girls who were strolling along the
river; she watched the sky grow pale, diaphanous,
tender green like some delicate crystal, flecked with
little wandering clouds like a flight of violet-grey birds.
She began to feel irritated. She knew not why. Perhaps
because the girls made too much noise, or the
Master was talking nonsense, or the postman did not
appear out of the lonely distance.
The Master pulled a note-book from his pocket, and,
interrupting himself now and then to explain that he
did it without his daughter's knowledge, began to read
aloud some of Gabrie's sketches.
"Listen to this! See how cleverly she observes
people! It's a character for a future novel. My Gabrie
is always on the look-out. She sees a character,
observes, sets it all down. She's like those careful
housewives who preserve everything in case it may
come in useful. Listen to this!"
And he read: "'A young lady of eighteen, of titled
but worn-out family, anæmic, insincere, vain, envious,
ambitious; knows how to hide her faults under a cold
sweetness which appears natural. She is always talking
of the aristocracy. Some one once told her she
resembled a Virgin of Botticelli's, and ever since she has
adopted a pose of sentiment and ecstasy.' Isn't it
excellent, Signora Caterina?"
"Yes, indeed; quite excellent!" said the lady, with
gentle acquiescence. "Regina, come and listen. Hear
how Gabrie is going to write her novel. It's quite
excellent."
Regina remembered the novel she also had wished to
write, with which she was quite out of tune to-day.
Her irritation increased. She had recognised the
signorina from Sabbioneta in Gabrie's sketch, and
resented the pretensions, the ambitions, the dreams of
the Master's little daughter. The simple father's
delusions were pitiable. Better tear them away and
bid him teach his child to make herself a real life,
refusing to send her forth into the world where the poor
are swallowed up like straws in the pearly whirlpools of
the river.
But in the faded eyes of the humble school-master
she saw such glow of tenderness, of regret, of dream,
that she had not the heart to rob him of his only wealth—Illusion.
"It's so dreadful to have no more illusions," she said
to herself, and added that to-day there would come no
telegram from Antonio.
As evening came on she again fell a prey to puerile
terrors and unwholesome thoughts. She was wrapped
in frozen shadows—a mysterious wind drove her towards
a glacial atmosphere, where all was dizziness and grief.
She seemed suspended thus in a twilight heaven, wafted
towards an unknown land, like the little wandering
clouds, the violet-grey birds, migrating without hope of
rest. The old world to which she had returned had
become small, melancholy, tiresome. She was no longer
at her ease in it. But at last she was driven to confess
a melancholy thing. It was not her old world which
had changed; oh no! it was herself.
CHAPTER II
That night she dreamed she was standing on the
river-bank in the company of Marianna, Madame
Makuline's companion, who had come to hurry her back
to Rome.
"Monsieur Antonio is in an awful rage," she said.
"He came to Madame and told her all about it, and has
borrowed 10,000 lire to set up a finer house. Then he
sent me to bring you back."
In her dream Regina shook with shame and anger.
She set off with rapid steps to Viadana, intending to
send Antonio a thundering telegram.
"If he has still got the money," she sobbed, "I wish
him to give it all back this very moment. I don't want
a finer house. I don't want anything! I'll come home
at once. I'd come back, even if we had grown poorer,
even if we had to live in a garret!"
And she walked and walked, as one walks in dreams,
vainly trying to run, crushed by unspeakable grief.
Night fell; the mist covered the river. Viadana
seemed farther and farther. Marianna ran behind
Regina, telling her that the day before in Via Tritone
she had met the ugly fireman who had rescued her at
Odessa.
"He had turned into a priest, if you please; but
coquettish, and under his cassock he had a silk petticoat
with three flounces, which made a frou-frou."
And she laughed.
Her unpleasant expression exasperated Regina almost
to fits. She was not laughing at the fireman, but at
something else, unknown, mysterious and terrible.
Suddenly Regina turned and tried to strike her, but
the signorina started backwards and Regina tumbled
down.
The shock of this fall wakened the dreamer, whose
first conscious thought was of the fireman priest with
the silk flounces. In the dream this detail had disgusted
her horribly, and the disgust remained for long
hours. Sleep had deserted her. It was still night, but
already across the deep silence which precedes the
dawn came the earliest sounds of the quiet country life—a
tinkling of tiny bells trembling on the banks of the
streams, going always farther and farther away. The
silvery, insistent, childish note seemed to Regina
the voice of infinite melancholy.
A thousand memories started up in her mind,
insistent, puerile, melancholy, like that little silvery
tinkling.
"My whole life has been useless," she thought, "and
now, now, just when I might have found an object, I
have flung it away like a rag! But what object could
I have had?" she asked herself presently. "Well,
family life is supposed to be an object. Everything is
relative. The good wife who makes a good family
contributes no less than the worker or the moralist to
the perfection of society. I have never made anything
but dreams. I remember the dream I had the second
night after our arrival. I thought Madame Makuline
had given me a castle."
Just then she heard a faint rustle, and something like
a scarce perceptible but tender groan emitted by some
minute dreaming creature.
"It's the swallow! Does it also dream? Do birds
think and dream? I expect they do. Why, I wonder,
is this one all alone? And he!"
She felt a sudden movement of joy, thinking
that this day the letter from Antonio would surely
come!
The hours passed. Post hour came, but there was
no post. Regina went out of doors to hide her agitation,
to forget, to flee from the extravagant fears
which assailed her. As on the preceding day, she
wandered in the woods and lanes, by the river-side, upon
which beat the full rays of the sun. Everywhere fear
followed her like her shadow.
"He has not forgiven me. He will not write. In
his place I would do the same. He wants to punish
me by his silence, or he is coming to take me back by
force. A wife has to follow her husband, otherwise he
can demand a legal separation. What would become
of me if he did that?"
Pride would not allow her to confess that if Antonio
insisted on her return she would go to him at once
merely to be forgiven. But as the slow hours rolled on
her pride weakened. Memory assailed her with consuming
tenderness. She sickened at the thought of
passing her life's best years deprived of love.
"Oh, why didn't I think of all this before?" she
asked herself. And she remembered she had thought
of it, but so vaguely, so lightly, that her faint fears had
not held her back from folly. In an opposing sense she
reasoned thus.
"It's my character made up of discontent and contradiction
which tosses me hither and thither like a wave
of the sea. Why have I changed so soon? If I go back
to Rome I shall be sorry immediately that I didn't
carry out my project, which is perhaps better than I
am now thinking it. Perhaps after all he thinks it
reasonable, and is delaying to write that I may see he
accepts it. Oh! there's a bit of four-leaved clover!
Yes; that's what it is. He accepts my plan."
She stooped, but did not pick the four-leaved clover.
What luck could it bring to her?
She felt hurt and saddened by the idea that Antonio
was not broken-hearted; that he would not try by all
means in his power to get her back; would not reproach,
punish, coax her, move her to agonies of despair and
love.
"He has not written. He isn't going to write," she
said again. "He will come himself to-morrow, or the
next day, at the first moment he can. What shall I say
when I see him?"
And in the joy of renewed confidence she forgot
everything else.
He neither wrote nor came. The days went by; the
slow, cruel hours passed in a waiting increasingly apprehensive.
Regina wondered at the presentiment she had
felt from the very moment of her arrival—the presentiment
that her husband would write to her no more.
Yet still she waited.
She perceived that her mother, observant of Antonio's
silence, was watching her with those beautiful serene
eyes now disturbed and unquiet. So one morning she
feigned to have met the postman and brought back a
letter. She came into the house, an envelope in her
hand, crying—
"He's not well! He's laid up with fever!"
The mother was opening a silvery fish from the Po,
and she looked at her daughter, scarcely raising her eyes
from her work. Regina saw that her mother was not
deceived, and that wistful maternal glance agitated her
to the very depths of her soul. And the silver fish, in
whose inside was discovered another little black fish,
reminded her of Antonio's promise—
"We will go out together in a boat. We will fish
together in the beautiful red evenings——" and of all
the torturing tenderness of that last afternoon they had
spent together.
She went to her room and wrote him a letter. Pride
would not let her set down her real thoughts; but
between the lines he might read all her stinging
anxiety, her fear, her penitence. He did not reply.
Suppose he were really ill? Regina thought of
writing to Arduina, but quickly felt ashamed of the
idea. No. All those people whom Antonio's unfortunate
notion had thrust between her and him on the first
days of her arrival—all those people, the prime cause,
perhaps, of their present misery, were repugnant to
her, positively hateful.
But what was he doing? Had he shut up the Apartment
in Via d'Azeglio and gone back to his family?
The mere recollection of the marble stair which led to
that place of suffering, to that low, grey room where a
mysterious incubus had weighed down her soul, was
enough to darken her countenance.
She wrote again. Antonio did not reply.
Then Regina felt something rebound violently within
her, like a rod which straightens itself with a whirr
after breaking the fetters which have tied it down. It
was her pride. She thought Antonio must have guessed
her unspoken drama of grief, lament, tenderness and
remorse, and that he was passing the bounds of
just punishment.
"He is taking advantage of me," she thought, "but
we will see which is the stronger!"
"Antonio," she wrote to him, "I have been here for a
whole fortnight of patience and suffering. What is the
meaning of your silence? If you have neither understood
nor pardoned the letter I left for you, surely you
must have written to tell me so? If you have understood,
and have forgiven, or, better still, if you have consented to
what I ask, equally in that case you must have written.
You cannot be ill, or one of your people would certainly
have informed me. Your conduct is so strange that
now I am more offended than grieved by it. Am I a
child that you punish me in this childish way?
Perhaps it has been a caprice on my part; but, mind,
it is not the freak of a child! It is one of those caprices
which, punished too severely, may end fatally. Antonio,
don't suppose your silence will bring me back to your
side like a whipped and famished hound. If you think
you can take advantage of my love for you, you are
altogether mistaken. I will never go back unless you
call me; and whether this return is to be soon or not
for a long time, that is what we must decide together.
Either write or come to me at once. If within eight
days you have not replied, I shall not write again—not
until you have written yourself. But don't imagine
that my answer then could be what it would be now.
After all, Antonio, we are husband and wife; we are
not mere lovers who can allow themselves jesting and
nonsense, because their passion is perhaps destined to
come to nothing and to remain for them only a memory.
You and I are united by duty, and by more serious,
stronger, more tragic fetters than passion. If I have
been—let us admit it—thoughtless, romantic, even
childish, this is no reason why you should be the same.
And if you wish to be like that, I, at any rate, don't wish
it any longer. This is why I am writing to-day. This
is why I still wait. I repeat—write to me or come.
We will decide together. And now it all depends upon
you whether the fault is to be all mine or all yours, or
to belong partly to us both. I am waiting.
"Regina."
Two days later Antonio replied with a telegram:—
"Starting to-morrow. Meet me at Casalmaggiore.
Love and kisses!"
Love and kisses! Then he forgave! He was coming!
He would forget—had already forgotten! Regina felt
as if she had awakened from an evil dream. Ever
afterwards she remembered the immense joy—melancholy
perhaps, but on this very account soothing and
delicious—which she experienced that day. She seemed
to have come off victorious in the family battle. It
was she who, just to save appearances, had recalled her
husband. He was apparently defeated. But in reality
it was she, it was she! And by her own wish and
without repentance. Still, by this first victory she had
tested her hidden strength and had found it great.
Henceforth she could rely upon it as a safeguard in all
the dangers of life.
"Life belongs to the strong," she thought, "and who
knows, who knows but that I too may succeed in
achieving fortune? From this out I am a different
person. What has changed me I do not know!"
she exclaimed, wandering along by the river as if
lovelorn.
"How full of strange incoherence and contradiction
is the human soul! Who is it says that inconsistency
is the true characteristic of man? Certainly the
greater part of our disasters come from punctiliousness,
from pride, as to letting ourselves be inconsistent. We
often ought to be, we often wish to be, inconsistent.
Well!" she continued, increasingly surprised at herself,
"it's very strange! A month, a fortnight ago, I was
another person! Why, how have I changed like this?
Here I am ready, without the smallest complaint, to
leave this world which held me so tight. Here I am
ready to follow my husband and to take up again the
modest monotonous life which I did detest, but which
now I do not mind in the least. Is it because I love
Antonio? Yes; certainly; but there is some other
reason as well—something which I can't make out. I
don't want to make it out. I won't torment myself
any more. I will understand only that happiness lies
in love, in domestic peace, in the picture which life
makes, not in the picture's frame. But how wonderfully
changed I am!" she repeated, in astonishment.
"Such a strange, sudden metamorphosis would seem
unnatural in a novel. Yet it is true! the soul—what a
strange thing it is! Well, I won't think any more!
He is coming, and that is all the world!"
She walked on and on, analysing, and, at the same
time, enjoying her happiness. Rays of pleasure flashed
across her spirit as she remembered Antonio's eyes, lips,
hands. Hers! Hers! Hers, this young man! his
love, his soul, his body! She had never before rightly
realised this great, this only happiness!
She walked and walked. The sunset hour came.
Though it was mid-July, the country was still fresh.
Now and then a transparent cloud veiled the sun. A
gabbia[5] passed her. The driver, fair complexioned and
careless as a child, was singing to himself. The wheels
seemed mere diaphanous clouds of dust, rosy lilac in the
sunset. Quietly the great river rolled in from the
horizon; quietly it vanished to the horizon, passing
along, calm, luminous, solemn. In its omnipotent force
the river also appeared beneficent and happy, bringer
of peace to its fertile shores. In the very depths of her
soul Regina was stirred by the peace of the wide-stretched
valley, by the far-reaching beauty of the
horizon, by the sublime, health-giving tranquillity of
the fields, the woods, the shores, by all the emanations
of grace from what she fancied a god transformed into a
stream. She had renewed her youth. Everything
within, everything around her was poetic, beautiful,
stainless. Sorrow and evil had fled far off, carried
away by the river, vanished below the meeting line of
earth and heaven. The western sky had become all one
soft yet burning rose colour; the Po grew ever redder
and more resplendent; the woods were drawn out in
long black lines against the flaming background; the
pungent perfume of grass hung on the air. Regina,
vaguely watching a laden boat as it descended the sunlit
water from Cicognara, became pensive and even sad.
She asked herself whether all the enchantment of this
peace did not hide something insidious, whether it were
not like those mock islands covered with evanescent
verdure, amorously encircled by the river which yet
reserved the right of swallowing them at the first flood;
enchanted islets for the eye, unstable and engulfing for
the unwary foot.
There were three mills on the river close to where
Regina was standing. She had often admired the most
ancient one, the lower walls of which were rudely
decorated with prehistoric pictures, red and blue scrawls
representing the Madonna and St. James, a bush, and
a boat. The mill was surrounded by silvery-green
water, which dashed against the shining wheel. Boats
came and went laden with white sacks. On the platform
stood the white figure of the miller, a young
woman sometimes by his side.
Regina had often seen those two figures. The man
was elderly but still erect, his face shaven, lean and
sallow, his cynical green eyes half shut. The young
woman also had half-shut, light eyes. She was tall and
lithe, pretty, in spite of too rosy a face, and hair dishevelled
and over red. She must be the miller's
daughter, Regina had supposed, probably in love with
the mill servant. Life at the mill must be happy as in
a fairy tale.
But later she had heard that the girl was the miller's
wife, that he drank, that he was jealous, and kept his
wife imprisoned with him in the mill. Evidently
a tragedy was being played in the interior of this prehistoric
habitation! The running water, the turning
wheel, were reciting the eternal tale of human grief—were
singing of the jealous, tipsy, disagreeable old man,
and of the girl, fiery as her curls, brooding continually
over rebellious and sinful thoughts.
The boat, laden with workmen, touched the shore,
and Regina recognised one or two whom she knew.
They invited her to go with them to the mill, to eat
gnocchi.[6]
She agreed.
The Po was becoming more and more splendid,
reflecting the whole west, the great golden clouds, the
reversed woods. An enchanted land seemed to be submerged
there in the water. Regina admired and was
silent, listening to the lively chatter of her companions.
They were talking of ghosts. Old Joachin, the rich
miller—big, purple-faced, goggle-eyed—one night, when
he was passing along the bank in his cart, saw a huge
white dog, which jumped out of a bush and silently
and obstinately followed him. Who could believe this
dog a dog? It was a spirit.
And one moonshiny night Petrin the boatman had
seen from the river a most strange, glistening creature
flying along the shore.
"A bicycle," pronounced old Joachin, beating his
empty pipe against the palm of his hand.
"Oh, very well! Then your white dog was just
a white dog!"
Presently the party arrived at the mill. The miller
came forward, all smiles, and stretched out his hand to
Regina.
"Ma benissimo! This is an honour, Signora Regina!
I know you well; and here is my wife, who knows you
quite well too!"
The ruddy young woman hung back shyly.
"How do you do?" said Regina, looking at her
curiously. She noticed that the miller was not quite
so old nor the woman so young as they had seemed
from the distance.
The inside of the mill was very clean. A fire was
burning at the foot of the plank bed. Pots and pans of
red earthenware were arranged on the dresser. The
mechanism of the mill was of the most primitive
pattern. Two large, round stones of a bluish hue
were revolving one upon the other, moved by the
wheel. The flour slipped out slowly, falling into a
sack.
And the wheel turned and turned, pursued, battered,
lashed by the noisy water. Wheel and water seemed
to be whirling in a fight, merry in appearance, pitiless
and cruel in reality.
Old Joachin took his wife by the shoulder and shook
her.
"Go and make the gnocchi, woman! Make them as
fat as your fingers!"
She giggled, looking at her hands, which were
enormous, then took flour and kneaded it with river
water.
Regina, finding her presence embarrassed the woman,
went to the platform and sat down on a sack of flour.
She lost herself in contemplation of the wonderful
sunset. Already the sun was touching the river, making
a great column of gold. The water came burning down
from that magic spot, but upon reaching the mill its fire
began to go out, and it disappeared into the east, pallid
as mother-o'-pearl.
Regina saw the whirlpools all luminous like immense
shells; the mill wheel flapped in the golden water like
a huge metallic fan; the falling drops, in which the
slant rays of the sun were refracted, showed all the
rainbow colours.
The miller drew near Regina and bent towards her.
His feet were bare, his thin legs and arms naked. His
little green eyes smiled cynically.
"If I may, I'll speak two words with you," he
murmured, respectfully.
"Yes?" said Regina.
Instead of two words, he told her a great number of
interesting things. For instance, that he had all his
teeth; that he paid 100 lire tax on his richezze
mobili; that the wheel could be stopped with a rope;
that his wife was timid and diffident, and always wanted
to be tied to her husband's coat tails. Regina listened,
half-disappointed that her tragedy had been wholly
imaginary.
"You know," said the miller, who, while he talked,
never stopped rubbing his arms and scratching one foot
with the other, "I wish to goodness she'd go away for
a fortnight or a month."
"Why?" asked Regina, ingenuously.
"Why, Signora Regina——" said the man, embarrassed,
and scratching with all his might—"well,
you have no baby either, have you? And you want
one, I suppose? You'll be certain to have one now,
after being away for a month. Well, if you'll come with
me, I'll show you how we stop the wheel," he said,
alarmed lest he had offended her.
Regina followed him. The old man stopped the
wheel with the rope and asked his guest to examine
the flour, the sack, the mill stones. In the sudden
silence of the wheel he laughed without any reason.
A dense cloud involved everything. The miller's wife,
quite confounded by Regina's presence, turned scarlet
as she fried the gnocchi. The figures on the platform
were silhouetted against the golden background.
The miller looked at Regina and laughed, and
suddenly, without knowing why, she laughed herself.
FOOTNOTES: — CHAPTER III
[5]Gabbia. A special cart used in the Mantuan district for
carrying wheat, maize, etc.
Again the crazy little carriage belonging to Petrin il
Gliglo rolled along the river-bank. The night was hot,
dark, and damp. After a few sentences on indifferent
matters, Antonio and Regina had fallen silent, as if
overcome by the quiet of the country and the night.
They were silent, but Regina spoke within herself, as
was her habit, and made note of a sad discovery.
Antonio was changed! No; this time it really was not
fancy! He was changed.
"He kissed me almost in a frenzy the moment he got
out of the train—as if he had feared he would never see
me again. Then all of a sudden his expression changed.
Something gloomy, something deprecating, came into
his eyes. Has he lost his faith in me? Is there something
between us now? Well! of course it's like this
at first. To-morrow the constraint will have passed
off."
To drive away all vestige of fear she spoke to him
again; but her heart was thumping uncomfortably, and
when she pressed his hand and found it inert and cold,
unexplained anxiety again took possession of her. It
was almost as bad as her terror during those days
when she had been vainly expecting a letter from
him.
"Oh, what is it?" she thought. "Has he not
forgiven me?"
"Feel!" she said, putting Antonio's hand against
her side. The hand became suddenly animated.
"Is your heart still bad?" he asked, as if bethinking
himself.
"No! It's beating for joy!" she replied, and talked
on very fast. "Yesterday I went to the old painted
mill, to eat gnocchi. It was such fun! There was
a splendid sunset. What a character that old miller
is!"
She told the miller's prophecy, then went on to
describe a visit to the Master and his family.
"He's a character too! But he's really quite mad.
He wants to send the children to Rome—the boy to
make his fortune, the girl to become famous. He
says——" and she mimicked the Master's speeches and
voice.
Antonio laughed, but his laugh was cold and contemptuous,
and seemed far away.
"Oh, what is it?" thought Regina, overwhelmed by
unexpected sadness. That scoffing laugh was new in
Antonio. He was scornful. Was it of herself?
Fancies! Folly!
"As soon as we're alone, I'll take him by the
shoulders, shake him and cry, 'What on earth's the
matter with you? Haven't you forgiven me? Don't
let us have any more nonsense, please! There has been
more than enough!'"
They were silent again. The chaise rolled on through
the dark warm night, through the pungent perfume of
the motionless vegetation. The young trees along the
river were black in the darkness, blacker even than the
darkness. Everything was silent, everything exhaled
sweet odours. From the hot ground, from the damp
wayside weeds, from the paths bathed in dew, rose an
intoxicating scent, a silent breath, dreamy and voluptuous.
Beside every bush seemed to stand a woman
waiting for her lover, her desire and her joy filling the
emptiness of the hot, rich night.
"To-morrow we'll go out by moonlight," said Regina,
who could not keep quite silent. "The night I
arrived there was a beautiful moon, wasn't there,
Petrin?"
The driver made no reply.
"He's asleep. We shall be upset," said Antonio.
"Oh, no! The old horse is quite used to it," returned
Regina, and sure now that Petrin was not
listening, she added, softly, "How wretched I was
that evening!"
"Were you?" said Antonio, as if remembering
nothing of what had passed.
Regina turned round, astonished and trembling. She
had no strength left.
"Antonio," she whispered, her arm round his neck,
"Why are you like this? What is it? What's the
matter?"
"Do you ask?" he murmured, not looking at her.
His voice was hardly a breath, but a breath in which
Regina felt the raging of a storm of resentment. Again
she was afraid.
"You don't mean to forgive me!" she said,
separating herself from him. But already he had
turned and pressed her to him, his lips seeking hers
with a fervour which seemed rather of despair than
of passion.
Adamo's voice rang out from the bank.
"Antonio—o! Regina—a!"
Then Petrin's broad back swayed from right to left,
and his whip cracked.
"Quel ragass m'ha fatto ciappar pagura (That boy
made me jump)," said the man, as if talking in his sleep.
Antonio and Regina moved apart, and she blushed in the
darkness as if new to love.
Her heart was beating strongly, but between its
strokes of joy were shudders of sickening grief.
After supper, as on the night of Regina's arrival, they
all went out, except Signora Caterina. Toscana and her
brothers ran about as usual, leaving their sister and her
husband far behind.
"Yes," said Regina; "my mother is right. You look
ill! Surely you've been having fever!"
He did not answer at once. He was thinking. He
seemed seeking an appropriate beginning for a speech
and unsuccessful in finding it.
"Your mother herself looks out of sorts," he said at
last. "What distress you must have caused her,
Regina!"
"I? But I never told her a word!"
"Didn't you?"
"Don't you believe me? To explain your silence, I
said you were ill."
"Oh, did you?" he repeated, still incredulous. "Well,
I was imagining it was her advice had made you
less—unkind."
"Unkind? What do you mean?" she asked,
coldly.
Antonio was perhaps frightened in his turn. Had he
deceived himself, thinking Regina penitent and ready to
come home? He became animated, and found that
beginning of speech which he had sought. The hour of
explanation had come.
Regina asked nothing better; but to her surprise she
did not feel the commotion, the joy, the tenderness,
which she had anticipated. She was distressed.
Antonio had forgiven her; he had suffered; he had
come, resolved to take her back at all costs; he loved
her more than ever, with true passion; he was united to
her by all the strong ties of his heart and his senses.
But she was not content; she was not properly stirred.
Something was standing between her husband and
herself—something inexorable. They walked as of
old, their arms round each other, their fingers interlaced;
but there was a whole gulf between them, a
whole immense river of cold, colourless water, perfidiously
silent, like that river down there below the road,
scarce visible between the black trees in the black
night.
Regina was certainly the clearer-sighted of the two,
and she now saw a mysterious thing. Once it was her
soul which had escaped Antonio, hiding itself behind a
world of littlenesses, of vanity, of vain desires and
ambitions; now, on the contrary, it was his soul
which some occult and violent force was trying to
wrest away from her. She attempted to fathom this
mystery.
"What is it? He loves me; he has forgiven me!
But he mistrusts, is afraid of me. Why is this?"
"Regina," said Antonio, "you must explain to me
what you are intending to do."
"You know already."
"I don't. I don't understand. Your last letter was
even worse and uglier than the first. I am not going to
reproach you—as you say, it would be useless; but
another man in my place—well, never mind! You have
told me more than a hundred times that I don't understand
you. Now, to show you at least my good-will, I
ask you to explain."
"But didn't I write it?" she cried, half humble, half
pettish. "I wrote, 'It all depends upon you.'"
"Do you mean you will come back with me to
Rome?"
"Yes."
"Oh, very well. I am quite ready to forget
all that has taken place. But now I must know
one thing more. Why have you given up your
idea so soon? I say idea, not caprice, because it
has seemed to me, and seems still, a very serious
matter."
"How can I tell? Are we able to explain our ideas
or caprices, or whatever you choose to call them?
Have you never contradicted yourself? One thinks
one way to-day, another to-morrow. Are we masters
of ourselves? You said a minute ago, 'If I were
another man.' I understood what you meant; that
if you had been another man you would have ill-treated,
insulted me. But, on the contrary, you are
very kind—perhaps kinder than before. Can you
explain to yourself why, instead of hating me for the
trick I have played you, you care for me perhaps more
than before?"
She spoke not entirely of conviction; but she wished
to suggest to Antonio the line he had better take. She
believed she had succeeded, for he became thoughtful
as if repeating her questions to himself, and presently
said with a slight smile—
"Well, I dare say you are right!"
"Don't let us say any more about it," cried Regina,
imitating the Master again. "It has been a freak—a
folly of youth. Let us draw a veil over the
past."
"You know you have humiliated me," urged
Antonio; "it was a blow in my face—a betrayal—and
besides——"
"Oh, don't we all make mistakes? What about all
the other women? Those who really betray their
husbands?"
"Yes," he answered her, quickly, "and the husbands
who betray their wives! Generally it's the bad
husband who makes the bad wife. But I never
gave you any cause, Regina! What had you to
complain of in me? True enough I am not a lord,
but you knew that from the first. Had I promised
you more than I could give? Well, you should have
had patience—confidence. Our circumstances may
improve any day. I shall never be rich, but, of
course, in a little time my position must alter to a
certain extent——"
"Oh, that'll do! That's enough," protested Regina.
"You did not guess that my fancy would pass away so
soon?"
"Did you think it yourself when you wrote? My
dear, things seriously done have serious effects. Well,
we will cancel the past, as the Master says. I've got
one thing to tell you, however. Your letter has done
us some good after all. I saw at once that in one sense
you were right. Everybody has to try to get on, to
push, to solicit, to intrigue, 'Out with you, sir, in with
me!' and all that. 'Come,' I said to myself, 'isn't it
just possible I might do something?' Well, I began
my solicitations. I set Arduina to work. I had
her running about the town all day. I sent her to
the Senator, the Princess, to her journalists and
deputies——"
"Of course you didn't tell her——" interrupted
Regina.
"I told her no more than this: 'I want to be
secretary to some Minister. Find me a berth, and I'll
get you six subscribers to your paper among my colleagues.'
She laughed and went to work, and I set
others in motion too. But it was all no good; there
wasn't a vacant post anywhere. Then Arduina gave
me an idea. You remember how the Princess sent for
me one day to ask information about the Stock
Exchange, and how I saw she was beginning to be
suspicious of Cavaliere R——? Well, Arduina, who is
no fool at bottom, sounded Marianna. She found out it
was just as I thought. She wanted to put some one to
look over his shoulder. 'Why shouldn't you become her
confidential agent?' said Arduina. So I went to the
Princess and offered my services. I said the office of a
spy did not seem to me very delicate, but that I would
accept it, as it was a case of urgent necessity. She
convinced me that the indelicacy was on the Cavaliere's
part, and said that if I succeeded in being useful
she would be most grateful. That was on the 5th.
Four days later I proved that the Cavaliere R—— was
speculating with her money more for himself than for
her."
"How did you manage it?" asked Regina, vaguely
uneasy at Antonio's relation.
"I will explain. You must know that Madame, for all
her riches, is as ignorant as a child about money affairs.
She doesn't understand a thing about banking, stocks,
shares, book-keeping, and so forth, and naturally has to
put herself entirely into the hands of some person who
acts for her, and to accept all propositions and all results
of operations without any control. The Cavaliere R——
has been serving her in this way for many years, and
no doubt at first he was perfectly scrupulous in his
operations and in the statement of accounts. But
presently, aware that she knew nothing whatever about
these affairs and accepted with her eyes shut whatever
he chose to say, he thought he might profit without
even risk of being found out. Marianna, however, has
been observing for some time that the proceeds of the
speculations have kept continually diminishing, which
the Cavaliere accounted for by the special conditions of
the money market, by monetary crises, by the rupture
of commercial contracts, by the war, etc. At her instigation,
Madame made me the proposition I told you of.
Well, as she pressed me, I accepted the job, and told
her to put me in full possession of some recent transaction
that I might verify it. Next morning Madame
sent me one of his statements, on which I read, among
other things—
"'Exchange of 10000.00 marks, at 123.20 lire; acquired
8 shares of Acqua Marcia at 1465.00 lire.'
"I consulted at the office the prices on the Exchange
reported in the Gazzetta Ufficiale and found it was
different from what he had put down. Not satisfied
with this, at lunch-time I went to the Chamber of
Commerce and got a list of the Exchanges of the
preceding day, and made certain of the difference I
had already made out: the Berlin Exchange was at
123.37 lire, and the shares of Acqua Marcia were
quoted at 1460.00 lire. Consequently, Cavaliere R——
had put 57 lire into his own pocket. Then I made
Madame give me all his statements up to the end of
June, which she had kept mixed up with her private
letters and newspapers. By the help of the bulletins
of the Exchange and other publications which I got
through a stock-broker I know, I proved that in these
operations alone the man had made a profit of 137.45
lire."
"And then?"
"Oh, then Madame thanked me very warmly and
said she'd take the opportunity of her going away to
relieve the Cavaliere of his services, and on her return
would ask me to undertake the speculating. She left
home on the 12th, and has given me a whole lot of
matters to disentangle before her return. I must look
up my German a bit, for she has no end of business
with Germany."
Instinctively, Regina took her hand away from
Antonio's, and said—
"Well?"
"Well?" repeated Antonio.
"How much is she to pay you?"
"For the present, a hundred lire a month; but a
little later, you see, I'm to become her factotum. I
must grind at the German," he repeated, seeming
much pre-occupied with this question of the language.
He talked on about it, but Regina was no longer
listening.
"Let's go back!" she said, turning suddenly. "You
must be tired! Toscana! Gigi! Shall we go in?
Here they come! Antonio, it's a funny thing, but, do
you know, I dreamt something very like this the first
night I was here."
She told her dream of the ten thousand lire, Marianna,
and the fireman.
"There's no doubt at all that dreams are very queer
things!"
He made no reply.
"And why," asked Regina, after a moment of hesitation,
"why didn't you write to me?"
"What was I to write to you? You had settled
the question for yourself. I wished to settle it in
another manner, and a discussion by letter seemed
useless. Besides, I had decided to come to you
here."
Antonio's explanation was rather lame, but Regina
did not insist. He went on to describe his plans for the
future.
"Next year I'll go up for the examination and pass
at latest in October. Meantime, we can count on 325
lire the month, net and certain. You see, our position
is already a little better. I have sub-let the Apartment,
and I've seen a capital mezzanino, in Via Balbo,
for 80 lire. Three first-rate rooms looking on the
street, and one, a large one, on the courtyard; all
very light and sunny. We can have two drawing-rooms."
Regina listened, but she felt something which was
not joy. Antonio's news was not altogether cheering,
and his voice seemed entirely changed. It was
the monotonous, distant voice of one not the merry
and happy Antonio of old. It moved her to positive
pity.
Two drawing-rooms! Yes, she understood his pre-occupation.
He wanted to give her something of what
in her infatuation she had dreamed, in her foolishness
had asked. He wanted to give her at least the illusion
that she was a fine lady, prosperous and fashionable.
And he made his offer quite humbly, as if he were the
guilty one, ready for any weakness, if only he might be
forgiven! She would have preferred a tragedy of
reproaches, and then the sweetness of pardon; a storm
which would leave their domestic heaven clearer than
before.
On the other hand, she realised that Antonio's love
was blinder, more abject, than she had imagined; in
this, at least, there was some satisfaction.
They walked towards the house, so absorbed in
their prosy talk that they no longer noticed the
mystery of the hot, sweet night brooding over the
colourless river, the dark sky, the motionless black
woods, like the profile of a forest sculptured on a
bronze bas-relief.
From time to time flashed the violet gleam of a
bicycle lamp, which went silently by, preceded by a big
butterfly of shadow. At intervals a few voices vibrated
in the silence and immobility of the sleeping world.
The magic of dream floated in the warm, soft air. But
the young pair no longer felt the magic. Antonio was
hot about his plans; Regina overcome by pity for the
man whom her folly had so miserably and so profoundly
changed.
CHAPTER IV
They returned to Rome about the middle of August,
and changed their dwelling. The mezzanino was really
charming, but one of the rooms remained almost empty
for lack of furniture.
"We might let it," suggested Regina.
"Fie! Who's the little bourgeoise now?" cried
Antonio, indignant.
"Oh, one changes as life goes on," she said, not
without bitterness; "one gets older, gets whipped, ends
by adapting oneself to anything."
She did in fact adapt herself—without knowing why.
In herself and in her surroundings, in the quiet life
which she and Antonio had resumed, she was sometimes
conscious of an emptiness like that in the new Apartment,
but she no longer rebelled.
After dinner they would go out arm in arm in the
good bourgeois fashion, stifling the gentle tedium of
their existence at the Café Aragno or in Piazza
Colonna, oftener in the streets and avenues round Piazza
della Stazione. The little tables in front of the Café
Gambrinus or Café Morteo were always surrounded by
people who at any rate seemed very lively. Crowds
tramped the broad streets, bright with electricity and
moonlight. Beyond the great white square, where the
twin lights of the trams shone like drops of water, the
station carriages looked like files of monstrous sleeping
insects.
After the long silences and solemn solitudes of the
Po, back now in the crowd, in the cold, sharp splendour
of the electric lights hidden like little moons among the
black ilices, Regina felt herself in a dream. The cafés
were overflown with light. Livid reflections came from
some empty table. Vestiges of lunar rays made their
way through the green shadows, the strange semi-darkness
of the trees. The crowd rolled past and looked
into the café, merry with a second crowd reflected and
multiplied by mirrors. Now and then, in the smoke-wreathed
background of the Morteo, hovered the moving
and screaming figure of a singer, whose coarse notes
were mixed with the melancholy scraping of violins and
the buzz of the people. A hundred faces, derisive but
brutally pleased, looked at the swaying, strident figure.
Regina found a curious interest in watching the crowd,
the faces, the light dresses of the women, the physiognomy
of the men who ogled the singer, the pitiable
arms of this pitiable creature.
One evening a little girl with thick hair falling in a
red plait over thin shoulders, with a green hat and a
short green dress, which left half-bare her meagre legs
and big feet cased in yellow shoes, reminded her of a
water bird. Then suddenly, under those trees blackened
and burnt up by the heat of a thousand burning
breaths, she thought of her great river, of the poplars
rising at this hour like candles lighted by the moon, of
the white line of the river-banks cleaving the immense
circle of the plain; and she marvelled that she no
longer felt the nostalgia which she had known of old.
Antonio proposed to sit down at the café, but Regina
preferred moving round with the crowd, going as far as
Via Volturno, where the voices of the melon-sellers
crossed, followed, answered each other jealously, like the
crowing of cocks.
"Favorischino, Signori! Favorischino!"
On the black, damp tables, cut melons showed rosy
in the trembling lamp-light, and diffused a fresh and
agreeable odour like great red flowers. Children, workmen,
a pair of students, a woman or two, bent over the
pink flesh of the juicy slices.
"Favorischino, Signori! Behold what beauties!
Real blood! Will you buy one, lady?"
There was a stall at the corner of the street against
the wall, and the vendor looked condescendingly at the
people clustered round his banks of melons; but if
any one noticed his money-box, he turned anxiously and
put on an air of preternatural solemnity.
"Do you intend to buy, madam?"
And from an ambulant gramaphone, whose red
trumpet rose in the shadow like a coral cup, issued a
strange, hoarse music, a metallic and rapid laughter, now
near, now far, which streamed forth from an unknown
and alarming profundity, expressing a false joy, a cry of
misery, grief, derision, of wickedness and roguery, of
pity and sadness—a voice at once mocking and imploring,
empty and portentous, unconscious, and supremely
melancholy.
To Regina it seemed the voice of the surrounding
crowd. Yes! the voice of the pale young daughter of
joy, with the auburn hair under the great black hat,
seated alone and thoughtful before one of the tables at
the Morteo; the voice of the child like the water bird
of the famished singer, of the rough melon-seller, of the
bright-eyed old man in the pink shirt, of the gentleman
with the thick lips and brutal looks, of the melancholy
fat man, of the lady in the red dress lifted to show a
trim ankle, of the wet-nurse with the Jewish profile, of
the yellow infant which she held in her arms, of the
little woman in black with floating veil who ran after
the tram, of the pair of lovers leaning romantically
against the garden gate.
"And it's my voice too, and Antonio's!" thought
Regina, and sometimes the crowd still disgusted her,
but her disgust was tempered by compassion. Returning
home, she still saw the melon-seller, the fat misanthrope,
the nurse, and the girl with the red frock; but
above all the thin singing woman, who was probably
hungry, and the daughter of joy with the thoughtful,
the pure face. She fancied that Antonio had glanced
at the latter with a certain interest, and she thought:
"Can they have known each other once?" But she
felt no resentment, only great compassion for the lost
girl, for Antonio, for herself, and for all the unconscious
ones, the rich or the wretched, for all the sadness and
the weariness of men, which gurgled forth from the
blood-coloured cup of the ambulating gramaphone.
Sometimes Antonio and Regina sat on a bench at
the bottom of the avenue in the shadow. He seemed
overcome by depression and fatigue. She watched
dreamily the great coloured eyes of the tram, the
course of the newspaper carts, carrying to the station
their load of glory and of gossip, the going and coming
of the people, the shadows of the trees, the clouds
which rose up from the silver depths of the horizon.
White and tender the moon looked down from heaven.
Music of mandolines and violins throbbed and vibrated,
a neighbouring bell tolled, a distant trumpet sounded.
"They all make music!" observed Regina. "The
whole world seems holiday-making and merry."
"On the contrary, according to you it's sad," said
Antonio, not without irony.
"No; it's worse than sad! It's miserable, and I am
very sorry for it!"
He made no reply. Since their re-union he did not
controvert the melancholy speeches of his wife on those
occasions, infrequent now, when she allowed herself to
be depressed.
In September Regina perceived that the old miller's
prophecy had come true. She was to be a mother.
The fact was not particularly agitating, certainly
not displeasing, either to her or to her husband. It
occasioned, however, a small dispute between them, for
Antonio declared at once that the child must have a
nurse, while Regina was for bringing it up herself.
"Too much worry," he said, almost roughly.
"Well, have we the means to pay for a nurse?"
"We have," he affirmed, shortly.
The year passed. Nothing extraordinary happened.
During the winter Regina went out little and scarcely
saw any one. She did not visit her mother-in-law,
finding an excuse in the stairs. When Arduina came
to look for her, she bade the maid say she was not at
home. She was aware of her own ingratitude, since after
all it was Arduina who had got Antonio his post with
the Princess; but she could not overcome her antipathy
to her husband's whole family.
Before the child's birth she fell into a sort of moral
lethargy. In spite of the physical disturbances her
prospects did not displease her; on the other hand, the
idea of motherhood woke in her little enthusiasm.
During the winter she devoured an immense number of
novels, which her husband brought from the library.
Hour after hour she sat over the fire, which Antonio
had arranged in one of the drawing-rooms—quite alone
and very quiet.
Antonio went out in the morning often while she
was still asleep. He ran in for lunch, went out again,
came back towards evening after an extra hour or two
in the office, studying or dispatching business for the
Princess. Regina had got used to solitude.
All was going on well; perhaps too well. In
addition to his two salaries, Antonio said he had made
a little by extra work in the Department. Then one
evening towards the middle of April, when the birth
of the baby was imminent, he told Regina a somewhat
curious story.
"If you won't scold," he began, "I'll confess my sins
to you."
"I needn't scold if you have upbraided yourself and
repented."
"Repented? No; the serious thing is, I haven't
repented! Look here. The day you ran away last
year I got dragged by a friend of mine into a gambling-house——"
"Ah——!" cried Regina.
"Don't be frightened. It was the one only time. I
was irritated, naturally; infuriated—almost desperate.
But, you know (I never spoke of it, but I want to tell
you now once and for all) I was far angrier with myself
than with you. You were perfectly right. I had been
imprudent, improvident. I hadn't properly forewarned
you of all the little annoyances of middle-class life in a
big town. We needn't go over it. It's enough that I
was furious with myself for not having the sense to find
some way out of my subordinate position. Well, I
went with the fellow, and I played. You remember I
had 100 lire? I put them all on the green table. I saw
I was still a great baby, fancying I understood others
and myself, while, on the contrary—why, I saw two or
three of my colleagues there, and I even observed one
of them cheating! Another had that day gone
down from our Department into that of the Intendance,
and the man who superseded him had paid him
2000 lire. He (my colleague) had three children and
another coming. His wife hadn't been out for two
months because she hadn't a decent frock. He had
made the exchange because he wanted to get away from
Rome, pay his debts, provide for his wife's confinement.
That night he had his 2000 lire in his pocket,
and, would you believe it, he lost them all! As for me,
I began by winning. I got up to 1800 lire; then I
lost till I was down to 50. I won and lost again.
That's how it always is. Towards morning I had made
about 2000 lire. I was worn out, sleepy, nauseated. I
thought of you. I thought: 'If Regina only knew!'
All at once a quarrel burst out between one of the
players and my colleague, who had been cheating.
They came to blows. The manager of the house intervened.
There was pandemonium! I got up and
came away with my fine 2000 lire."
Regina listened, seated by the window, against which
Antonio was leaning. It was almost night. From the
beautiful hushed street, where the lamps shone pale in
the last rosiness of the long twilight, from the gardens
of the opposite houses, from near, from far, came that
warm and grateful perfume of the spring evenings in
Rome. The new moon, pale green like a slice of
unripe orange, was going down in a violet-pink sky,
above the already darkened houses in the far part of
the street. Regina remembered the night when she
had leaned against the window of their first Apartment
and complained that she could not see the stars. What
changes within and around her! That night she had
formulated to herself the plan of flight and separation.
Now—now all that seemed a dream. Why does life
change one in this way? And neither was Antonio
what he had been that evening. He confessed it himself.
He said, "I was a great baby and did not know
it."
Now—now he was telling her a story, and Regina
was listening, but with an inexplicable conviction that it
was not true. Why should he say what was not true?
She did not know, did not try to explain her incredulity.
She just felt that the story Antonio was telling her was
an invention. She was vaguely distressed. She would
much rather have thought Antonio had really been
gambling, had lost or won—it mattered little which—so
long as he were not telling her lies.
He went on—
"Now hear the best of it. When I found myself
with the 2000 lire I formed at least two thousand
projects. I thought of going to you. I thought of
gambling again. What I did was to hand the money
over to Arduina and tell her to get me a post as
secretary. Then came the days in which I was going to
the Exchange about the Princess's matter, and presently
I purchased five shares in the Carburo Italiano
Company. They were at 300 lire just then. Do you
know what they are worth now? Do you know,
Regina?"
In spite of herself, Regina was excited. Antonio
was bending over her, and though his voice was calm,
almost indifferent, she felt in him some unaccustomed
agitation.
She forgot the doubts which had assailed her. No;
Antonio was no longer lying. The expression of his
eyes, brilliant in the light of the window, was truly a
sincere expression, on fire with audacity. His eyes,
once so soft, so amorous, were now those of a man
intent on making a fortune at all costs.
"Do you know?" he repeated.
"How should I know?"
"Guess."
"500 lire?" she hazarded.
"More."
"600?"
"More—more."
"1000?" she suggested, timidly.
"More still."
"Then we are rich!" she exclaimed, with forced
irony, angry at her own excitement.
"We are not rich yet, but we can be. It's the first
step, which is everything, my dear! Our five shares are
each worth 1200 lire. They may go up even higher, but
I intend to sell out to-morrow. Half the money I shall
give to you; with the other half I'll make another
venture. Fortune, it seems, is only a matter of will.
But you mustn't be frightened!" he ended, for Regina
had turned pale.
"Why did you never tell me about it?"
"What was the use? Suppose the shares had gone
down?"
As on that former evening, which rose obstinately
before Regina's memory, the maid interrupted by
announcing dinner, and the young pair went into
the next room. By the lamp-light Antonio again
noticed Regina's pallor, but he jested.
"Don't fly away on the wings of Pegasus!"
They talked a little of the morality and the opportunities
of speculation, of risks and lotteries.
"Nonsense!" said Antonio. "All life is a lottery.
We must risk something or die. And now we'll go out
for our walk."
Next day he sold the shares, after having shown
them to Regina, and gave her 3000 lire. She put
2000 in the savings bank; with the rest she bought
furniture, and provided for the birth and christening of
her baby.
"Perhaps I shall die," she said, in the last days of
waiting. "You'll see that now, just when we've got a
little luck, I shall die."
"Don't talk nonsense," said Antonio, almost angry.
She did not die, but she gave to the light a miserable
little being, its life hanging by a thread, a baby like a
kitten, ill-formed, ill-coloured, with an enormous head.
When she first saw this little misery she wept with
disappointment and repugnance.
"If it would only die!" she mourned, cruelly. "Why
oh! why have I given it life!"
"Young lady," she was answered by the nurse, a
peasant woman, like a statue, with a bronze face in an
aureole formed by a turquoise head ornament, "leave
the infant to me. You have brought her into the
world, and now you have no more to do. Leave her to
me, Signurì."
Regina appeared to have little confidence, so the big
woman was offended. She sulked, she quarrelled with
the servant, who insisted the baby was dying. Next
day she fell out with Marianna, who had come to
inquire for Regina, and made the remark that the child
seemed a kitten.
"Just let her grow a bit," cried the indignant peasant,
"and she'll be clawing at you! Little Miss Catharine
may be like a kitten, but you're for all the world like a
rat!"
By the middle of May Regina had recovered; she
had regained her beauty and felt strong and happy.
The nurse kept her promise; her rich country milk
gave life and vigour to the poor little city infant. The
distorted black little face cleared and acquired a profile;
the immense heavy eyes began to be human. Sometimes
the baby smiled, and her whole little face became
animated. Then Regina felt certain her daughter was
beautiful; but presently she laughed and thought she
must be deluded—a victim of that mania which attacks
all mothers.
However, she was happy, happy in her freedom, her
health, her life. After the few first delicious walks on
Antonio's arm she began to go with the nurse and the
baby. The mornings were splendid; breaths of perfumed
wind gave stimulating sweetness to the air;
bands of shining silver furrowed the luminous heights
of the heaven.
How different from the spring of a year ago! Now
Regina felt impulses of tenderness for everything and
everybody. The warm surging of that breeze which
came from the summer of the southern plains and
passed on to her northern home still stung by the
sharpness of winter, ravished her soul, sending it forth
in flight like a bird drunk with light and space.
One day she sallied forth quite alone. She felt like
that hero of Dostoievsky's, who, unexpectedly obliged
to cross the principal streets of the great city in which
he had long lived without attention, seemed to himself
born again to a new life. Roaming in the immensity
of Via Nazionale, Regina looked about her with childish
curiosity. For the first time she perceived that the
Hotel Quirinale was a soft grey, while to her it had
always seemed mustard colour; she saw the tower of the
American Church striped and elegant like a lady's
dress; she admired the fine perspective of Via
Quattro Fontane; she stood on the sunlit carpet
which covered regally the steps of the Exhibition. A
red-faced cabman raised two fingers, thinking her a
foreigner seeking a carriage; a Moor in European
dress passed near her and stared; a flower-girl offered
her roses. It was all interesting; but a year ago she
would have been annoyed.
She descended Via dei Serpenti, and as she advanced
saw the arches of the Colosseum open to the deep sky,
and she fancied them huge blue eyes looking at her
and full of eternal dream. She found herself alone
before the great dead sphinx; only a boy—fair-haired,
rosy, dressed in green—was watching the entrance from
between two baskets of oranges. The broken columns
lying in the sun showed metallic reflections; the
voluptuous wind brought whiffs of country fragrance;
cries of love-making birds came from the trees of the
Palatine; the outline of the trees was soft against the
feathery silver clouds which veiled the sky.
Regina descended, almost running. She penetrated
under an archway and paused, checked by a sudden
chill. A priest passed close to her, black and fluttering,
like a melancholy bird. She moved on, opened her guide-book,
but did not read. Play of sun and shade painted
the background of the Colosseum's immense emptiness.
The walls, dotted with wild plants and yellow flowers,
suggested a mountain-side; shady corners, green with
moss, seemed little damp pastures; mysterious caverns
opened great black mouths. Hoarse cawing of rooks
came from behind the huge blue eyes which the great
sphinx fixed on its own ruin. From the hopeless profundity
of heaven rained a dream of solitude and death.
"I have never cared for history," thought Regina.
"There are persons who come miles to gush about a
stone on which possibly some Roman warrior set his
dirty foot! That seems silly to me. Why? A stone
is for me only a stone! Nothing speaks to me by its
past, but by its present significance. The past is death;
the present is life. Here am I, and here once laboured
twelve thousand slaves—or how many was it?"
(Again she opened the guide-book, but did not read.)
"Here the lions devoured the Christians, and cruel
eyes of emperors, women, plebeians, with less conscience
than the lions, enjoyed the horrid spectacle. But all that
is past, and it doesn't move me a bit. Oh, dear! Here
come the foreigners, bursting into this dream of death,
chattering like ducks in a stagnant pond! Let me
escape!"
She went away. The Palatine trees trembled in the
breeze against a sky ever brighter and brighter. The
campanile of Santa Francesca Romana was clear-cut,
bright, and dark. The Arch of Constantine framed the
bright picture of the roadway with its background of
silvery cloud. Regina followed the road and seated
herself on the highest step of the stair of San Gregorio.
Everything she could see in front of her, from the pine-trees,
noisy with birds, to the rosy vision of the city's
edge, all was light, life, joy; behind her, in the damp
cloister, green with moss, in the portico guarded by
tombs, in the abandoned garden, all was silence, sadness,
death. Always the great contrast! Vibrating
with life, she nevertheless entered into that place of
death and allowed herself to be taken round by a
friar, who seemed a skeleton wrapped in a yellow tunic.
They visited the chapels, in whose silence the beautiful
figures of Domenichino and Guido grow pale, like
persons condemned to solitude. Regina crossed the
desolate garden and watched the friar, with profound
pity, wondering he could still walk, though he was
dead to life.
She thought of her baby, the little Caterina. Ah!
she should be taught to appreciate, to enjoy, to adore
life!
"How many dead people there are in the world!"
she thought. "I myself was dead till a few months
ago. Now I have revived a little, but I am not so
much alive as my baby shall be! I am only a
resuscitated person with the memory of the grave still
in my soul."
As she went out she put a small coin in the friar's
yellow palm, and, from the manner in which he thrust
the money into his pocket and looked at the donor, she
perceived that he had still some life in him, this
little yellow skeleton of a friar!
Then she went out, hurrying from the sepulchre-guarded
portico, thirsting for the sun, for noise, and
for immensity.
PART III
CHAPTER I
On Christmas Eve (Old Style) Regina and Antonio
went to the Princess's reception. They were accompanied
by a little blonde lady, modestly attired in black.
It was Gabrie, the Master's daughter, who had realised
her dream of finishing her studies in Rome at the
Scuola di Magistero. For two months, courageously and
quietly, she had lived on study and privation in a
garret of Via San Lorenzo, in the family of a strolling
musician, who had once been an organist near her
home. The Venutellis had offered her hospitality, but
she had refused it, contenting herself with visiting at
their house and allowing them occasionally to take her
to the theatre. To-night, chiefly out of curiosity, she
had condescended to go with them to Madame Makuline's.
She wanted to see a rich lady close, that she
might excite the envy of her puffed-up young friend at
Sabbioneta.
Innocently, or sarcastically (Regina had not yet
made out if Gabrie were innocent or malicious), she
said—
"I've been sending her picture cards of the fox hunt,
the meet, the motors, the smart people. That young
woman has no ideas beyond all that." (She said that
young woman in accents of profound contempt.)
"Nor have many others," muttered Antonio.
He was stepping a little in advance of the ladies, and
seemed lost in thought, very erect and fashionable,
however, in his dark, smooth overcoat.
"Do you mean that for me?" said Gabrie, after a
pause. Then, without waiting for a reply, almost as if
penitent, she added, "Dear me, Signor Antonio, aren't
you crushed by that coat? The history professor has
one like it, and the girls say whenever he goes out
he has to come home and lie down—he's so worn out
by it."
"Indeed!" said Antonio, absently.
They arrived at the Villa. The night was warm and
still; the blue splendour of the moon eclipsed the
lamps. The street was empty. Regina remembered
the first night she had come to this house, and she
sighed and smiled. She did not know why she sighed
nor why she smiled, but she rapidly recalled how
unhappy she had been then, while now she was so
extremely happy, with a husband who loved her so
much and worked for her so hard, with her pretty baby,
her home, her heart-felt peace and assured prosperity;
and yet——And yet? Oh, nothing! A mere cloud,
the shadow of a cloud, passing over the depths of her
soul!
The great doors opened. The servant did not smile,
but his pale, impassive face lighted up amiably at sight
of the new-comers.
"Are there many people?" asked Antonio, as the
servant took Regina's cloak.
"A few," replied the big youth, in a bass voice.
Regina looked at Gabrie, who, after a rapid glance at
the wolves in the porch, was covertly scrutinising the
servant. He carried the wraps into an adjacent
room, and Antonio familiarly opened the door to the
right.
"Wait one moment," said Regina, who was smoothing
her hair. It was beautifully arranged. She was rosy,
and a little plumper than she had been a year
or two ago. Her light dress with its neck garniture
of foamy white was becoming. She looked young
and almost a beauty. Indeed, she thought so herself,
and entered the Princess's drawing-room quite
satisfied.
"How's the little one?" asked Madame.
"Quite well, thank you. May I introduce my
friend?"
Gabrie bowed to the hostess, who scarcely noticed
her. Then she sat down in the corner of a sofa
and stayed there the whole evening, shy, quiet and
silent.
The usual old ladies and old gentlemen filled the
rooms, which, as usual, were overheated.
The only person at all young was a lady dressed
childishly in blue, with big blue eyes and long, downcast
golden lashes. She sat near the hostess, in a circle
of two old ladies and three old men, amongst whom was
he of the pink-china bald head.
Madame was silent, listening to a German traveller
who was giving an account of his recent tour in India.
Fatter than ever, paler, more dowdy in her clumsy
black velvet gown, the Princess looked like one of the
many old women of remoter ages whose ugliness has
been immortalised by the painters of their day. Her
eyes alone seemed alive in her swollen, corpse-like
face.
The lady in blue asked the German if he had read
Loti's article on India (without the English) in the
Revue des Deux Mondes.
"Oh, he exaggerates, as usual. To read Loti, you'd
suppose the burial in the Ganges a poem. On the
contrary, it's a great——"
"——a great saleté," said Marianna, sitting near
Gabrie, and whispering so as not to be overheard by
Madame, who often reproved her for her coarse
language.
Gabrie, who had understood from her Sabbioneta
friend that great ladies never said ugly words, stared at
Marianna, then dropped her eyes and remained quiet in
her corner.
"Whatever Loti says is false," continued the German.
"I once heard Madame Ciansahma, a Japanese authoress,
say that when she wanted a laugh she read a book of
Loti's."
"And don't we laugh when Madame Ciansahma takes
us off, and tries to look like an European?" asked the
lady in blue.
"How can she know what Madame Ciansahma looks
like?" whispered Marianna, leaning forward.
Regina also leaned forward and indicated the blue
lady.
"She's blind, isn't she?"
"Stone blind. For that matter," added Marianna,
"the blind sometimes see more than those with
eyes."
Gabrie, mute and stiff, wedged in between the two
young ladies, looked and listened. Every one was
talking except herself—her small, colourless self in her
little black frock. The blind lady, moving and talking
as if she could see perfectly, became the special object
of her attention.
The Princess was talking. Antonio also, very handsome
but preternaturally grave, was talking to an
elderly young lady who had stuck a golden fringe
on top of her scanty red hair. Scraps of phrases,
laughter, isolated words in the midst of the general
hubbub, reached the corner where sat Regina, Gabrie
and Marianna.
"Do you know that lady's history?" asked Marianna.
"Blind as she is, she tried to murder her husband, who
was the cause of her calamity."
"How was that?"
"I'll tell you afterwards. Now I must talk to those
people over there."
She moved off with a great rustling of her petticoats.
But suddenly she stopped and said, looking back to
Regina—
"I met your baby out with that demon of a nurse.
I put the woman in a fury telling her we were going to
have an earthquake."
"I know," said Regina laughing; "you frightened
her to death."
"Frightened her? Won't that poison the baby?
But it's quite true about the earthquake. I read it
in print."
"Really? What fun!" said Gabrie.
Marianna seemed to see her for the first time.
"Is this a relation of yours?" she asked Regina.
"More or less," said Regina.
"I observe a likeness. But bless me! I'm forgetting
my duties."
She started again, but again turned back.
"Oh! I've been wanting to tell you something,
Signora. Come with me. How grand you are to-night!
It must be because——"
"What do you want to tell me?"
"Come with me," said Marianna, taking her hand.
"Gabrie, you come too," said Regina.
Gabrie rose, but, bethinking her that Marianna probably
wished to speak to her friend alone, she begged to
be allowed to remain where she was.
"You won't be lonely?"
"No, no. I like this corner. Go."
Regina went, but soon came back and took Gabrie to
the supper-room. The table was laden with plate, and
the company stood round it eating and drinking.
Marianna, seated at the Samovar, was pouring tea into
Japanese cups, delicate and transparent as flowers.
Antonio was carrying them to the guests. He gave
one to Gabrie, who smiled at him quietly.
"Are you enjoying yourself?" asked Antonio.
"Yes, very much. Only I can't understand all they
say. Even Regina talks French. She speaks very
well."
Antonio looked at his wife, so fair, delicate, graceful.
She drew nearer and said—
"What are you staring at me for?"
"Am I not allowed to look at my wife? Why are
you pale? You were quite rosy when we came.
What's the matter?"
"The matter? Nothing. Am I pale, Gabrie?"
"A little. But it's very becoming," said Gabrie,
tasting the tea.
"Thank you, dear!"
"You're much the prettiest here. Isn't she, Signor
Antonio?"
"The prettiest and the best dressed."
"You're overwhelming me, you two," said Regina;
"you're a pair of flatterers, that's what you are!"
"She's grown fatter, hasn't she," said Antonio to
Gabrie. "Do you remember how thin she was? By
Jove, she was a fright!"
"Thank you, my dear!" said Regina.
"No, she wasn't a fright. She was thin, certainly.
But when she came home last year she was thin then.
And quite green, she was! And always in a bad
humour! She was afraid you had run away from her,
Signor Antonio, and was always watching for the postman——"
"Who told you that?" asked Regina, astonished.
"I saw it. But the moment Signor Antonio
arrived——"
"Upon my word, if you fail as a novelist it won't be
for want of observation, my dear!"
They were standing all together at a short distance
from their hostess. The latter suddenly turned and
came towards them. In her small be-gemmed hands
she held a plate and a silver fork. She was eating
slowly, munching at a slice of tart, and she had smeared
her mouth with chocolate. Never had she looked more
hideous.
"Is your friend from Viadana?" she asked Antonio,
pointing to Gabrie with her fork.
"From the country—from my home!" cried Regina,
looking affectionately at the girl.
It seemed to her that Gabrie's little face wore a look
of ineffable disgust.
The days and the months rolled on.
A morning came when Regina woke to see a thread
of gold coming through the closed shutters and falling
on the blue wall across the corner of her room. It was
the sun beating on the window. Spring had come, and
Regina felt a profound gladness. Time had run on,
and she had not noticed it, so happy she thought
herself. Sometimes she felt quite afraid of her happiness,
and even this morning, after her quick joy at
sight of the sunshine, she looked at the sleeping
Antonio and thought—
"Suppose he were to die! Any one of us, I, or he,
or baby, might die at any moment! This great light
which shines in my soul might be put out in one
instant."
She raised herself on her elbow and surveyed her
husband. His fine head, motionless on the pillow,
illuminated by the gold ray from the window, had the
severe beauty of a statue. Blue veins showed on his
closed eyelids. His whole aspect was of suavity and
gentleness.
Last night he had come home late, later than usual,
even though most nights he was late. Regina was not
jealous. He worked hard all day. Every hour was
absorbed by feverish activity. Only in the evening
could he amuse himself, walk, do what he liked. His
wife knew this and asked for no account of these hours.
Besides, did he not always tell her where he had been?
There were days in which husband and wife hardly saw
each other, except in the morning when they first
woke; and sometimes, if he woke late, Antonio had to
jump out of bed, dress in a hurry, bolt his breakfast,
and run to the office.
For all that, perhaps because of that, their life went
on smooth and tranquil as a limpid and quiet stream.
Nurse (always relating how she had lived with a pair
who used to beat each other even in bed—"and when
I wanted to make peace between them I took a stick
too!") used to say—
"We can't go on like this, Mistress! Do quarrel with
Master a little, or you'll see we shall get some bad luck."
"I defy the prophecy!" said Regina.
"Well, I hope I'll get through bringing up the little
angel first! See what a beauty she is! See!"
Antonio woke, and before opening his eyes felt that
Regina was looking at him, and he smiled.
"It must be very late!" he exclaimed, seeing the
ray of sunshine.
"No; it's the sun which is earlier. It's a quarter to
eight. Shall I ring for baby?"
"Wait one minute! Give me a kiss! We hardly
ever see each other!"
He took her in his arms and kissed her, hugging her
like a child. She kissed his smooth brow, his hair,
and, feeling him all her own, so loving, so young, so
handsome, so trusting, her heart throbbed with a
tenderness that was almost pain. Thus for several
minutes they remained embraced, in the silence, in the
luminous penumbra of the warm, blue room.
Outside the street was becoming animated; but the
noises vibrated softly, as if blended in the deep serenity
of the air.
"I feel as if we were lying in a wood," said Antonio.
"I'm still half asleep, and I'd like to sleep on like this
to the end of time."
"It's the spring!" said Regina. "I also see the
wood, and through the wood the river, and, oh, so many
flowers!"
"Are you going to the Pincio to-day?"
"No; I'm going to see Gabrie. She has been three
days in bed, poor child."
Antonio made no remark. He did not require his
wife to account for her time, just as she did not demand
it of him.
Regina wanted to go and see her mother in June,
and he asked, suddenly, "When is the exam.?"
"What exam.? Gabrie's? July, I think."
"Then you aren't going back together, as she said
the other day?"
"No."
They were silent. So much time had passed, so
many things had changed—Regina had left home
twice, and twice she had come back—that the caprice
of her first going away now seemed a mere childishness,
far off, obscured by subsequent events. Still,
every time they spoke of parting, even if, as to-day, it
were at one of the sweetest and most intimate moments
of their life, they felt embarrassed, separated, torn
asunder by some extraneous force. But this did not
last. To-day spring was beating at the window. It was
the time not of clouds, but of sun. Young, at ease,
in love with each other, Regina and Antonio forgot the
winter with the birds, and with them sung their hymn
of joy.
He called her his little queen, and squandered on her
a thousand extravagant pet names. She admired him—meaning
it, too—and told him he was the most
beautiful husband in the whole world. From the wall
the sun's eye watched them, pleased and peaceful.
Regina went with the nurse and baby to the station
gardens, then set off to visit Gabrie. She was taking
her a book, a bunch of violets, and a packet of biscuits;
and she walked along lightly and briskly, imagining
herself engaged in a work of charity. She glanced at
the station clock and saw it was ten. Not a leaf
fluttered, and the motionless air was perfumed by
narcissus and young grass. In the distance the mountains
were the colour of flax-blossom, and scarce visible,
as if seen through the transparence of water. A bird-seller
stepped just in front of Regina, and so intense, so
insistent was the joy of spring, that even the little
half-fledged sparrows, the redbreasts stained with blood,
the canaries yellow as daffodils, twittered with delight
in the two swinging cages carried by the melancholy
man. Regina thought of buying a baby sparrow for
Caterina; but what would Caterina make of it? She
would choke it without even amusement. No; Regina
would not accustom her little one to senseless pleasures
and cruel caprices.
"But," she reflected, "if I buy the bird I shall give
one moment of pleasure to this sorrowful seller, who
probably hasn't taken a penny to-day. Yet why should
I suppose the man sorrowful? He may be quite happy.
We are always imagining the griefs of others, and
probably they don't exist. Once I thought everybody
was unhappy; now—now—I see I was wrong."
Spring penetrated even into the big house where
Gabrie lived. Regina had always seen the stairs damp,
greasy and muddy; but to-day they were quite dry,
the landings washed; an open door revealed a passage
with polished floor. From the first storey, which represented
the luxury of a book-keeper, to the fourth, inhabited
by the ex-organist, the inhabitants had cleaned
up the house to receive the Easter warmth—enemy of
that great enemy of the poor, winter. Regina had an
undefined feeling of pensive pleasure as she heard her
green silk petticoat rustling up the silence of the stairs.
She was not consciously thinking of her silk petticoat,
nor of the comfort of her life, the short, well-lighted
stair of her own dwelling, her two drawing-rooms, her
Savings-bank book, her subscription to the Costanzi;
but the certainty of all these possessions illumined her
heart, and made her a little sentimental. She felt
herself a person of consequence, sun-warmed like Easter,
violets in her hand, bringing the breath of spring up
that stair of poverty, of workers, students, failures. She
would have liked to leave a violet on the threshold of
every Apartment. She remembered an anæmic young
student whom she had once seen coming out of N. 8,
his lips blue, his eyes pale as faded hyacinths, buttoned
up in a threadbare though clean overcoat; and she
wished she might meet him to-day to greet him and
make him understand that she loved the poor, whom
once she had despised.
But the young man did not come out, and she climbed
on till she had reached a door where a card, fixed with
four wafers, informed the visitor that this Apartment
had the good fortune to shelter.
Mario Ennio Colorni, Ex-Organist and
Professor of the Violin.
It was not impressive to Regina, as she had seen it
already. She had visited Gabrie several times. In the
first instance the Master had written praying her to
"scrutinise whether the environment were dangerous or
doubtful, as all the houses in the San Lorenzo quarter
were reputed to be."
Signora Colorni opened the door, a little woman with
a black cap and blue spectacles. She did not immediately
recognise the visitor, and hesitated childishly
about allowing her to enter. Regina made her smell
the violets, and said, in the Mantuan dialect—
"Don't you know me? How is Gabrie?"
The little woman, whom typhus fever had left bald,
dumb, and nearly blind, smiled gently. Her little face
was the face of a child who has put on Grandmother's
cap and spectacles for fun. Regina walked on into the
Apartment, crossed the passage, which was very clean
and in which was a great smell of cooking, went into
the little parlour, the half-shut window of which was
veiled by a curtain of yellowish muslin. Through the
open door she saw that Gabrie's room, in process of
arranging by Signora Colorni, was empty.
She turned. The dumb woman smiled, and waved
her hand to the window.
"What? Out? But she wrote to me she was ill
in bed!"
The little woman shook her head, coughed, and
touched her forehead to signify that Gabrie had certainly
been ill. Then she smiled again, pointed to the window,
took a chair, for they had come into the little room, and
placed it before Regina.
"Will she soon be back? Where is she gone?"
The woman took an envelope from Gabrie's table and
held it to the wall.
"Gone to post a letter, is that it? Well, I'll wait
a few minutes, as I am tired. And how's Signor
Ennio?"
Again the woman smiled, made the gesture of violin-playing,
then opened her arms very wide, perhaps to
intimate that he had gone a long way, and that his
instrument was speaking tenderly and humbly to some
German bride and bridegroom in that hour of sun, in
the poetry of some suburban inn, lively with chickens
and pink with peach-blossom.
Regina sat down, and the little woman went away.
For some minutes profound silence reigned in the
clean little Apartment, full of peace and the odour of
baked meats. Gabrie's tiny room, with its pink-flowered
yellow paper, its narrow white bed, its little table littered
with books and copy-books, its window open on a sky
of pearl-strewn azure, gave Regina the idea of a nest on
the top of a poplar-tree. Yes! life was lovely even for
the poor! Everything was relative. This strolling
fiddler, who at night brought two, three, sometimes even
five lire home to his little hard-working, dumb wife, and
found his little home clean, a good piece of abbacchio
(kid) in the oven, and a soft bed waiting for him, was
happier than many a millionaire. And Gabrie, with
her pluck and her dreams, who saw her life before her
long but luminous, like that depth of sky behind her
window—who could say how happy she must be!
"Happiness is not in our surroundings, but in ourselves,"
thought Regina. "I declare I once thought myself
wretched because I lived on a fifth floor in a house
which was in quite a good quarter. Now I believe I
could be happy even here—in this house of poor
people, in the outskirts of the kingdom of the most
miserable!"
Still Gabrie did not come in. So much the better,
if it meant she was cured. Regina looked at her tiny
clock; it was half-past ten. She could wait a little
longer. She got up and walked to the window. On
the right, on the left, overhead, that dazzling sky;
down below the railway, the tall houses tanned by the
sun; bits of green, the vague breathing of life and of
spring, the immense palpitation of a distant steam
engine. All, all was beautiful.
Still no Gabrie. Regina left the window and
approached the table to set down the violets which she
still held in her hand. Her silk petticoat made a great
rustling in the silence of the tiny room.
Yes; everything was beautiful; not least that little
table covered with foolscap and note-books which represented
the dream, the essence, the finger-marks of a
soul clear and deep as a mirror. Regina took up an
open note-book.
She remembered the time when she, too, had thought
of becoming an authoress. She had never succeeded in
writing the first line of her first chapter. How far
would Gabrie get? Further, it was to be hoped, than
Arduina! Regina's thoughts wandered to her husband's
relations. They had disappeared, or at least faded from
her life, like personages in the opening chapters of a
novel who find no opportunity of coming in again.
Regina often sent nurse and baby to visit the grand-mother,
and she listened to Antonio when he talked of
his family. Herself, however, she hardly ever saw any
of them, and though now she regarded them as neither
more nor less agreeable than a thousand others, she
could not resist a feeling of resentment whenever she
found herself in their society.
But why should she think of them now when she
was turning the leaves of Gabrie's note-book? She
sought the sequence of ideas. This was it. Confusedly
she was thinking that if Antonio, instead of taking her
to his relations in that odious Apartment, choked up
with lumber and horrible figures like an ugly and ill-painted
picture, had brought her to a little, silent,
sunny home as humble as even this of the ex-organist,
she would not have suffered so acutely during her
honeymoon.
She put down that note-book and picked up another.
Her thoughts now changed their shape like clouds urged
by the wind.
"No; I should probably have suffered more. I had
to suffer, to pass through a crisis. I suppose all wives
of any intelligence have to go through it. And now,
now it's easy for me to think everything beautiful,
because I am happy, because my life has become easy.
Ah! What's this?
"A young lady of seventeen, of noble though fallen
family, anæmic, insincere, vain, envious, ambitious;
knows how to conceal her faults under a cold sweetness
which seems natural. She is always talking of the
upper aristocracy. Some one told her she was like a
Virgin of Botticelli's, and ever since she has assumed
an air of ecstasy and sentiment. This does not prevent
her from being ignobly enamoured of a sign-painter."
Regina recalled the enthusiasm with which the Master
had read part of this extract to Signora Caterina. She
saw again the big Louis XV room, flooded with the
burning twilight, the clouds travelling like violet-grey
birds over the greenish sky, over the greenish
river.
"See what a spirit of observation! It's a character
for a future story, Signora Caterina. My Gabrie picks
up, picks up. She sees a character, observes it, sets it
down. She is like a good housewife who keeps everything
in case it may come in useful——"
The Master talked, and Regina pitied him. The
Master read, and Regina recognised in the figure drawn
with photographic minuteness the young lady from
Sabbioneta.
Gabrie's note-book was almost filled with these little
figures. Regina turned the leaves without scruple, and
in the later pages she found characters of professors,
students, that of Claretta (a flirt, hysterical, corrupt),
whom Gabrie had met in Regina's drawing-room a few
days before.
She was terrible, this future novelist; not a looking-glass,
but a Röntgen apparatus!
Regina, impelled by curiosity, continued to turn the
leaves and to read, standing by the little table.
"A young wife, short-sighted, dark, all eyes and
mouth, clever, rather original, a little enigmatical. Of
noble but fallen family; imagines she doesn't value her
blue blood, and, perhaps, does not think about it; but
her blood is blue, and she feels it, and would like to be
aristocratic. She is fond of luxury and of rich people.
She is married to a poor man, but has succeeded in
making him largely increase his income."
"Good gracious! This is myself!" thought Regina,
amused but slightly offended. "She doesn't treat me
very kindly, this girl! What does she mean by that
last phrase?"
Suddenly she remembered that Gabrie had once told
her certain stories she has got from her fellow-students.
"But it's a fire of calumny, that college of yours!"
Regina had protested, and Gabrie had answered—
"A fire? It's a furnace!"
She read on—
"An authoress: tall, thin, yellow, with little, milky
eyes, small mouth, black teeth, yellow hair, hooked nose.
Moves pity by the mere sight of her. When she's with
men she also tries to flirt."
"That's Arduina, slain in three lines," thought
Regina.
Then she found Massimo, Marianna—("short, with
malicious olive face, little black eyes, pretends always to
speak the truth, but a sculptor would entitle her,
'Statuette in bronze representing Malignant Folly'"),
the blind lady, other persons who frequented the
Princess's receptions, to which Regina had taken Gabrie
several times. At last—
"A foreigner: very rich, tall, and stout; very black
hair (dyed), lips too thick, pale, almost livid. Eyes
small and sharp; mysterious as those of a wicked cat.
Never laughs. Impossible to guess her age. Deaf.
Always talking of an uncle who knew Georges Sand.
Type of the sensual woman. Has a young lover——"
And immediately after—
"Government clerk: private secretary to an old
Princess. Young. Fair. Very handsome. Tall,
athletic; long, fascinating eyes; good mouth; fresh
complexion. Lively. Good-hearted. Deeply in love
with his young wife. Nevertheless, he is the Princess's
lover."
CHAPTER II
Regina had once dreamed of an eclipse of the sun.
Reading Gabrie's page, she remembered that dream,
because there was reproduced in her the same feeling
of fearful darkness, of portentous silence and terrible
expectation.
For a moment. When the moment had passed she
again saw the light of the sun, felt again the vibration
of life, perceived that everything in the outer world had
retained its proper aspect and position, and that nothing
was changed. But she was no longer the same. Around
her, far and near, the light had returned; within her
darkness remained.
She laid the note-book on the table, took up the
violets, the biscuits, the book, and she went. Later she
saw she had fled from the vulgar temptation to question
Gabrie, to force her, even by violence, to tell how she
had guessed, whom she had heard speak of the hideous
secret. As always, she was sustained by pride, stiff and
cold as the iron which sustains the clay of the statue.
The dumb woman ran after the visitor as she
departed, and made signs which Regina did not understand.
That little figure, like a disguised child, woke in
her a kind of ferocious repulsion. Why did such beings
exist? Why did not nature or society suppress all
maimed, useless, weak persons?
For the rest of her life Regina remembered that
quiet little Apartment of the strolling musician, the
uneven stair, the equivocal landings, the dusty hall of
the big house in Via San Lorenzo; but it was with
profound disgust, as if she had there come in contact
with all the most foul and miserable things of life. She
never returned to it.
Again she traversed the sunny street, the Piazza, the
avenues, without noticing any one or anything, though
she forced herself to remain calm and not to believe that
nonsense which she had read. She would speak of it to
Antonio. They would laugh at it together!
However, she was aware that agitation was gaining
upon her, and, instead of going back to the garden
where nurse and baby were waiting, she sat down on
the first bench of the avenue on the right, opposite the
Terme.
Why did she not go back to the garden? Why not
call the nurse, that they might return home together?
She could not.
Suddenly she seemed to hear a distant rumble like
that of the immense palpitation of a train passing on
some remote and invisible path.
"My God, what is it?"
A lady, with a great roll of red hair twisted at the
nape of her neck, passed, looking at her curiously and
turning her head as she went by. Regina drew a hand
over her face, and understood that she was pale and
visibly upset. The distant rumble, the breathless palpitation,
came from her interior world, from her own
agitated heart.
Then she shook herself all over like a bird just
awakened, and tried to return to reality. The violets,
the packet and the book were still on her lap. Why
had she brought these away? Well, yes; by an
instinctive vendetta against Gabrie, who had thrust this
thorn into her heart.
"How small I am!" she thought. "What fault is it
of hers if that is true? But can it be true? And why?
And why did I not ask that at once, that Why?"
Ah! because it was useless to ask!
She knew the answer to this terrible Why. Even
before the useless question had shaped itself on her lips
the reason Why had sounded in her blood from vein to
vein, out of the echoing abysses of her heart.
He had sold himself. Regina did not doubt it for a
single instant, nor did the absurd thought pass for a
single instant through her mind, that before his marriage
he could have been the disinterested lover of that rich
old woman.
He had sold himself. He had sold himself for her,
for Regina, precisely as women sell themselves, to get
money, to get a fine house, light and air, bits of silk,
gewgaws, gloves, silk petticoats—all the things she had
asked, all the things for lack of which she had reproached
him.
"Oh, wretched, stupid boy! to be so weak, so vile. I
will come home, I will take you and punish you as one
punishes a wicked child! You ought to have understood
me—you ought to have understood me!"
But while in her heart she sobbed out these and other
recriminations, she felt them vain. Words of a very
different truth were resounding in her soul, turning it
into a threatening whirlwind.
It was she who had been weak and vile; she who had
not understood the seriousness and fatality of life; and
now life was punishing her like the wicked child which
she had been.
Her head burned and throbbed as if she had literally
been beaten. How long had she been sitting on this
bench? People passed and stared at her. Young men
turned their heads. One of them smiled after a glance
of admiration at her green shoes and the edge of her
green silk petticoat showing under the flounces of her
dress.
She remembered that nurse was waiting in the
gardens, but she could not move. Through the veil of
her anguish she saw the people passing, the trees, the
ruins in their spring clothing of weeds. There was a
yellow awning among the ruins, and two doves with
grey plumage were kissing in the ivy. The telegraph
wires engraved the vivid azure of the heavens. She
saw the advertisements on a corner of the Terme, a
hunting scene, notice of a sale. She read senseless
words, "Odol! Odol! Odol!" which afterwards remained
strangely impressed on her memory. Builders
were at work in the Piazza, and never afterwards could
she forget the earthy red colour of their shirts. She
followed with her gaze the scintillations of the wheels of
the vehicles.
The simple scene, familiar after having been seen a
hundred times, woke in her a profound disquiet,
attracted, absorbed her. Then she suddenly realised
that she herself was creating this curious interest in it,
as an excuse for not moving from the bench, not going
back to the gardens, delaying the hour for returning
home.
She feared the return home to the house, the thought
of which roused in her a sense of horror. All in it was
lurid! All! all! all!
She would have liked to strip herself, to strip her
baby—to tear from the little soft body, pure as a rosebud,
the robes of shame, of prostitution, and take her
thus naked on her naked breast, and fly with her, fly,
fly——!
Fly! The old idea came back; but this time Regina
would have wished to fly to some spot far distant from
her native province, away beyond the river which never,
never, would she cross again!
CHAPTER III
For more than half-an-hour Regina remained sitting
on the bench. People passed, hurrying homewards.
The children had come away from the gardens; even
Caterina and her nurse must have left. The scent of
grass became oppressive; a hot and enervating breath
passed through the air. Like plaintive music, that
odour of grass, that voluptuous warmth which undulated
in the perfumed air, sharpened Regina's memories
and emotions. Thoughts, stinging and ungovernable,
rolled in waves through her perturbed mind. Only one
recollection was insistent; it disappeared and returned,
more definite than the others, burning, portentous. It,
and it alone, was a revelation, for the other memories,
however she might call them up, try to fix and interrogate
them, did not suggest to her that which she
desired and feared to know.
How, she asked herself, could Gabrie have penetrated
to the secret? The intuition of an observant mind was
not enough, nor the keen vision of two sane and cruel
eyes. What manifest sign had appeared to Gabrie?
Where had she found out the secret? On Madame's
impassive face? Antonio's? Marianna's? Or was it
a thing already public? Yet Regina had never even
suspected it, nor did she remember the smallest revealing
sign. True, a few words, a few phrases, now returned
to her memory, taking a significance, which, even in
her agitation, she thought must be exaggerated.
"Anything is possible," Marianna had once said to
her with her bad smile. "The blind see more than
those with eyes." Who had said that? She did not
remember, but she had certainly heard it in the Princess's
drawing-room. Even the blind—could they, did they
see? Who could tell? She had not seen, perhaps
because, in her foolish confidence, she had never looked.
Now she remembered the almost physical disgust which
Madame Makuline had caused her the very first time
they had met. She remembered Arduina's untidy,
depressing little drawing-room, the wet sky, the melancholy
night; the little old woman dressed in black,
sheltering under a doorway, with her meagre basket of
unripe lemons. In the shadow, dense as the blackness
of pitch, Antonio's face had become suddenly sad, overcast,
mysterious. The Princess's pallid, expressionless
face, with its thick, colourless lips, appeared in that depth
of shade like a dismal moon floating among the clouds
of dream. Who could guess how long the evil woman,
the outworn body of a dead star, had been attracting
into her fatal orbit, her turbid atmosphere, the winged
bird, instinct with life and love, which was unconsciously
fluttering round her?
Unconsciously? No. Antonio had become sombre
that evening when he saw the woman. As yet she
disgusted him. But an abominable day had come
later. His wife had left him, reproaching him for his
poverty; and he, blind, humiliated, and defeated, had
sold himself!
And the most insistent of Regina's recollections, the
one which came as a revelation of the accomplished
fact, was just that arrival of Antonio at Casalmaggiore,
that drive along the river-bank, that strange impression
she had received at sight of her husband. Now all was
clear. This was why he was changed; this was why
his kisses had seemed despairing, almost cruel. He
had returned to her contaminated, shuddering with
anguish. He had kissed her like that for love and for
revenge, that he might make her share in the infamy
to which she had driven him, that he might forget that
infamy, that he might purify himself in her purity, and
gain his own forgiveness.
Afterwards—well, afterwards he had got used to it.
One gets used to everything. She herself had got
used——Would she get used to this?
A whip would have stung her less than this idea. She
leaped to her feet, hurried down the Viale, and entered
the garden. It was deserted; already somnolent,
scarcely shadowed by the delicate veil of the renascent
trees. The nurse had gone.
Automatically Regina went out by the other gate,
and paused under the ilices, all sprinkled with the pale
gold of their new leaves. It was nearly noon. Was
she to go back home? Was not this the just moment,
the just occasion for serious flight? She would not
re-enter the contaminated house! She would call
Antonio to another place and say to him: "Since
the fault belongs to us both, let us pardon each other;
but in any case let us begin our life over again."
Folly! Stuff of romance! In real life such things
cannot happen, or do not happen at the just moment.
Regina had once childishly run away, leaving her nest
merely because it was narrow. Her flight had been a
ridiculous caprice, and for that reason she had succeeded
in carrying it out. Now, on the other hand, now that
her dignity and her honour bade her remove her foot
from the house which was soiled by the basest shame,
now it was impossible for her to repeat that action!
She hastens her step; her silk flounces rustle. She
feels a slight irritation in hearing that sighing of silk
which surrounds and follows her. Her thoughts, however,
are clearing themselves. As she descends Via
Viminale, she seems returning to perfect calm. She
must wait, observe, investigate. The world is malicious.
People live on calumny, or at least on evil speaking.
A man is not to be condemned because a silly school-girl
has written down in her note-book a prurient malignity.
It is abject nonsense!
And yet——
The biggest tree has grown from a tiny seed——
Though she seems to have recovered her calm, Regina
now and then stops as if overcome by physical pain. She
cannot go on; something is pulling her back. But
presently the fascination, the attraction of home draws
her on, forces her to hasten. She walks on and on almost
instinctively, like the horse who feels the place where
rest and fodder are awaiting him.
At the corner where Via Viminale is crossed by Via
Principe Amedeo, she stops as usual to look at the hats
in the milliner's window. She wants a mid-season hat.
There is the very one! Of silvery-green straw, trimmed
with delicate pale thistles—a perfect poem of spring!
But a dark shadow falls over her eyes the moment she
perceives she has stopped. For hats, for silk petticoats,
for all such miserable things, splendid and putrescent
like the slough of a serpent, for these things he——
But the thought interrupts itself. No! no! Not a
word of it is true! One should have proof before
uttering such calumnies! Walk on Regina! Hurry!
It is noon. He must have come back. Luncheon is
ready!
And if none of it is true? Will he not notice her
agitation? Can she possibly hide it? And if none of
it is true? He will suffer. Again she will make him
suffer for no reason. Here she is, pitying him! Guilty
or not, he is worthy of pity. Instinctively she pities
him, because the guilt has come home to herself.
Via Torino, Via Balbo, crooked, deserted, flecked with
shadows from the trees in a little bird-haunted garden;
a picture of distant houses against the blue, blue background;
a rosy-grey cloud, fragment of mother-o'-pearl,
sailing across the height of heaven—how sweet is all
that! Regina descends the street swiftly, goes swiftly
up the stair, her heart beats, her skirts rustle; but she
no longer cares. Antonio has not come in. Baby is
asleep. Regina goes to her bedroom, all blue, large and
fresh in the penumbra of the closed shutters. She is
hot, and as she undresses her heart beats strongly, but no
longer with grief. At last she has awaked from a bad
dream! or she has been suffering some acute bodily
pain, which is now over.
There is Antonio's step upon the stair! She hears it
as usual with joy. Now the familiar sound of his latch-key!
Now the occult breath of life and joy which
animates the whole house when he enters it!
"You've come in? What a lovely day! And
Caterina?"
"She's asleep."
He takes off his hat and light overcoat, and flings them
on the bed. Regina lifts her skirts from the floor,
and is hanging them up, when she feels Antonio pass
quite close and touch her with that breath of life, of
youth and beauty, which he always sheds around him.
"Good God! I have had a hideous dream!" she
thinks, bathing her burning face before joining him at
the repast.
Antonio went out the moment he had finished lunch.
He said he had an appointment at the Exchange.
And the moment he had gone Regina went to the
window, goaded by an obscure doubt, by a blind and
unreasoning instinct. She saw her husband walking
with his active step towards Via Depretis. Then she
started back sharply, struck not by the absurdity of her
doubt, but by the doubt itself.
No; at this hour he would not be going to that
other. Besides, if he were he would have said so.
But now doubt was running riot in Regina's blood,
and she felt her soul crushed by a dark oppression, a
thousand times more painful, because more intelligent,
than the oppression which she had felt up to an hour
ago.
She repented that she had not detained Antonio
and told him all.
"But what would have been the good?" she reflected
at once. "He would lie. Of course, he wouldn't admit it
to me! Oh, God! what must I do? What must I do?"
She sat down on the little arm-chair at the foot of
her bed, and tried to think, to calculate coldly.
The cause of her doubt was certainly puerile—the
guess of a heartless child. But truth sometimes finds
amusement in revealing herself just in that way—by
means of a heartless jest. The occult law which guides
human destiny has strange and incomprehensible
ordinances. At that moment Regina felt no wish to
philosophise, but in her own despite she turned over
certain questions. Why was all this happening which
was happening? Why had she one day rebelled
against her good destiny and let herself be carried
away by a caprice? And why had this caprice, this
feminine lightness, into which she had drifted almost
unconsciously, brought about a tragedy? "Because
we must have suffering," she answered herself. "Because
sorrow is the normal state of man. But I am not
resigned to suffering. I wish to rebel. Above all, I
wish to overcome this suspicion which is poisoning me.
I wish to know the truth. And when I know it—what
shall I do?"
She reasoned, and was conscious of reasoning. This
comforted her somewhat, or at least made her hope she
would not commit further follies. But at moments she
asked herself, was not the very suspicion itself a
folly?
"We were, we are, so happy! But I'm always
obliged to torment myself. I imagine I am reasoning,
while to have the doubt at all is imbecility!"
But was she not saying this to convince herself there
was no truth in it all, while she felt, she felt, that it
was entirely true? She was afraid of losing her
happiness, that's what it was! She wanted to keep
her happiness at all costs, even at the cost of a vile
selling of her conscience.
Ah! this thought robbed her of her reason! In that
case she would be like the most abject of all the
women who had ever been in her circumstances! She
reasoned no further.
A nervous tremor shook her. Her arm contracted,
forcing her to shut her fists.
"Anything! Anything! Misery, grief, scandal!
Anything, even the abandonment of Antonio—but not
infamy!"
She flung her arms over the bed, hid her face, bit,
gnawed the coverlet, and wept.
She wept and she remembered. Once before she
had flung herself on her bed and had wept with rage
and grief. But Antonio had come, and she had kissed
him with treason in her heart. It was she who had
made infamous this weak and loving man, the conquest,
the prey, of her superior force.
He had degraded himself for her, and now she was
lowering him still more, suspecting that he would
hesitate a single moment if she were to say to him,
"I don't want all this you are giving me! Let us rise
up out of the mud; let us re-make our life."
"If he lies, it will be for me, because he will not
wish to destroy me. Oh! he is a rotten fruit! But
I—I am the worm which is consuming him!"
But if, after all, she were deceiving herself? If it
were not true? At moments this ray of joy flashed
across her mind; then all the former darkness returned.
To know! to know! that was the first thing! Why
cause him useless distress? The first thing was to
make certain, and then——she would see!
The tears did her good. They were like a summer
shower, clearing and refreshing her mind. She got up,
washed her eyes, sat down to read the newspaper. She
had to do something. But the first words which struck
her and claimed her attention were these—
"Arrest of a foreign priest."
She read no further, for the words reminded her of
something distant and oppressive, a matter now forgotten,
which yet in some way belonged to the drama
evolving in her mind.
What was it? When? How?
Here it was. The dream she had had, that night in
her old home, after her running away.
Shutting her eyes, she again saw Marianna's little
figure running at her side along the foggy river-bank,
while she told how Antonio had borrowed money from
Madame "to set up a fine Apartment."
Profound anguish, rage and shame goaded Regina,
forced her to sob, to run, to try and escape somehow
from Marianna; but Marianna still ran along by her
side, telling of her encounter with the fireman.
"He had become a priest; but coquettish——"
She laughed, not thinking of the priest, thinking of
some mysterious, fearful thing.
Regina opened her eyes, passed her hands over her
face, still tear-stained, and she felt her mind grow yet
darker. At that moment the memory of her dream
had for her a solemn signification. From the depths
of the unconscious rose up clearly the anguished
impression of that distant hour. What had happened
then? Under the influence of what pathological phenomenon,
presentiment, or suggestion, had she fallen?
Perhaps the very hour of her dream had been the hour
of the abominable deed.
She remembered to have read instances of that sort
of thing—telepathy—clairvoyance——
Doubtless Antonio had thought of her while he was
making love to the rich old woman; his disgust, shame,
rancour, had been so violent as to project themselves to
her, across space, in the very depths of her subconsciousness.
Out of that same depth now rose the
memory; and the inductions which accompanied it
were some sort of comfort to Regina.
But what miserable comfort! Suppose he had sold
himself with disgust, shame, rancour? Still he had
sold himself. Suppose it had been for love of herself?
Still he had sold himself; he had been capable of that!
Regina pitied him, because she saw the pitiable side.
But she felt that henceforth in her heart there was
room for no other kindly sentiment.
All was ruined; and among the grey vestiges trembled
only the yellow flowers of pity—too frail to survive
among ruins.
But if not a word of it was true? In dark hours the
strongest soul becomes the prey of superstition. The
dream had been only a dream. In any case, it had
knitted itself strangely to reality by the 10,000 lire, the
beautiful Apartment, Marianna's laugh.
Marianna! Ah! She at any rate would know!
For a space Regina thought of summoning her.
"I will make her speak—by violence if necessary!
I will send the nurse and the maid out of the house!
I'm stronger than Marianna!"
She closed her fist and looked at it to assure herself
of her strength.
"If she won't speak, I'll crush her. I'll cry: 'Oh,
you who always speak the truth, speak it now!'"
Already she heard her voice, echoing through the
warm silence of her drawing-room.
What would Marianna reply? She would probably
laugh.
And suppose none of it were true?
Pride pierced Regina's soul and destroyed the half-formed,
indecorous, senseless project.
"Neither Marianna nor any one. I will find out
myself."
But after a few moments the turmoil in her thoughts
recommenced, and she formed other romantic and
irrational projects.
She would follow Antonio.
Some fine night he would go out, and, after strolling
hither and thither for an hour, he would open the iron
gate leading to Madame's garden, the gate of which
Massimo had said, "Here is the entrance for her
lovers."
Antonio would go in. Regina would wait outside in
the deserted street, in the shadow of the corner.
Some one would pass and look at her with brutal eyes,
imagining her a night wanderer; but she would take
no offence. Why should she take offence? Was she
not lower than the lowest of night wanderers? Were
not her very clothes woven of shame?
Hours of silent torture would pass.
Antonio was in there, in the oppressive heat of that
house decked with furs—voluptuous, feline, like the
lair of a tigress. It was all so horrible that, even
in her insensate dream, Regina could not think of it.
Only she saw the Princess dressed in black velvet, her
thick neck roped with pearls, her hands small and
sparkling. And the small, sparkling hands were caressing
Antonio's beautiful head. And he was silent; he
had got used to these caresses.
This idea sufficed to produce in Regina an explosion
of grief, which quickly brought on reaction.
She awoke from her delirium; thought she saw
all the folly of her doubt. None of it was true;
none! Such things only happened in novels. It was
impossible that Antonio should penetrate furtively
into the old woman's house; impossible that his wife
should wait outside in the shadow of the corner,
to make him a comedy-scene when he came out.
Ridiculous!
So the slow day wore on in what seemed physical
anguish, more or less acute according to moments,
which often completely disappeared, but left the
memory of pain and the dread of its return.
Outside the feast of the sun continued, of the
blue sky, of happy birds. Now and then a passing
carriage broke the silence of the street with a torrent
of noise. Then all was quiet again, save that in the
distance the continuous rumble of the city ebbed and
flowed like the swelling of the sea in an immense
shell.
About two Caterina woke up and began to cry.
Regina heard this tearless, causeless weeping, and went
to the nursery. It was papered with white, and,
against this shining background, the bronzed and heavy
figure of the nurse with the baby, naked and pink
in her hands, woke a new feeling in Regina. She
seemed looking at a picture which signified something.
But now everything had acquired for her a signification
of reproach. That figure of a peasant mother, dark,
rough, sweet, like a primitive Madonna, reminded her
of what she ought to have been herself. She didn't
even know how to be a mother like the meanest of
peasants! She was nothing. A parasite—nothing
but a parasite!
The nurse was dressing the child and talking to her
in a "little language." "Pecchè quetto pianto? (What's
all this crying about?) What's the matter? Is
little madam cold? Well, we'll put on her lovely
little shift, and then her lovely little socks, and then
her lovely little shoosies. Look! Look! What
lovely little shoosies! Go in, little foot! What?
little foot won't go in? Oho, Mr. Foot, that's all very
fine, but in you go!"
Caterina, in her chemise, rosy and fat, with her hair
ruffled, cried still; but she looked with interest at her
white shoes and stuck out her foot.
"There's one gone in! Now the other. Let's see if
this Mr. Foot is as naughty as the other Mr. Foot. Up
with him! No, this is good Mr. Foot, and we'll give
him a big kiss. Up!"
Caterina laughed. Her eyes, with their bluish
whites, her whole face, her whole little figure, seemed
illuminated. Regina took her in her arms, danced her
up and down, pressed her to her heart, made her play,
played and laughed with her. "My little, little one!
My scagarottina."[7]
"Bah!" said the nurse, very cross. "What's the
sense of calling her that? Give her to me. She's
cold."
"You had better take her to the Pincio," said Regina,
returning the babe to her arms; but Caterina held tight
on to her mother, and frowned at the nurse.
"It's too windy on the Pincio," said the peasant, still
crosser. "And so, Miss Baby, you don't love me any
more, don't you?"
But Regina did not mind the nurse's jealousy. She
had so often herself been jealous of the nurse!
When the woman and the baby were gone, Regina
wandered a little hither and thither through the silent
Apartment. What could she do with herself? What
could she do? She did not know what to do. She
ought to have gone to visit a lady she had met at
Madame Makuline's; but the bare idea of dressing
herself to go to a drawing-room, where a pack of women
would be sitting in a circle, discussing gravely and at
length the alarming shape of the sleeves in the latest
fashion-book, filled her with melancholy.
What was she to do? What was she to do? Boredom,
or at least a feeling which she told herself was
boredom, began to oppress her. She could not remember
what, up till yesterday, she had been in the
habit of doing to exorcise boredom. But she did
remember how in the first year of her marriage she
used to get bored just like this.
Well, how had she got through that period?
What grateful occupation had made her forget the
passing of life?
None; she had just been happy.
"What? Am I unhappy now? All because of a
piece of nonsense?" she asked herself, sitting down by
the window of her bedroom and taking up a little
petticoat she was sewing for Baby. "But at that
time, too, I was making myself miserable about
nothing."
She stitched for five or six minutes. The silence of
the room, the quiet, rather melancholy afternoon light,
that same distant rumbling of the great shell, which
reached her through the warm air, gave her something
of the vague and soothing sweetness of dream.
The trouble seemed laid.
More minutes passed.
But suddenly the door-bell sounded, and she sprang
to her feet, shaken by the electric vibration which
infected her nerves.
"Not at home!" she said, running to the maid, who
was on her way to open.
Regina returned to her room and shut the door.
She didn't even want to know who was seeking her.
At that moment, on that day, she hated and despised
the whole human kind.
But when the maid told her through the door that
the visitor was Signorina Gabrie, Regina rushed to
the window and called to the girl, who was just
issuing from the house. Gabrie came back. Regina at
once repented that she had recalled her. She saw
she had been moved to do so by an impulse of
despairing curiosity. The student, finding her note-books
in disorder, probably suspected Regina had
read them; now she had perhaps come in alarm to
make excuses for the horrors she had written. A few
questions would be enough——
But Regina quickly recovered her proud dignity.
No, never! Neither of Gabrie nor of any one would
she ask that which it concerned her to know.
Gabrie came in, colourless in her loose black jacket.
She was not well; she coughed. Her eyes, however,
had kept their cruel brilliance, sharp and shining like
needles.
Regina felt afraid of this terrible girl. The future
authoress seemed already mistress of a power of
divination superior to every other human faculty. She
would read her friend's thoughts through her forehead!
But the fear only lasted a moment. Gabrie was
nothing! Just a little tattler—despicable!
"I was dressing to go out; that's why I said 'Not at
home.' Are you cured? I went to see you this
morning."
"I know, thanks. Yes, I am better. Go on dressing.
I won't sit down. How's Caterina?"
"She's gone out," said Regina, smoothing her hair at
the wardrobe mirror.
"Go on dressing," repeated Gabrie. "I'm sorry to
be delaying you."
Regina began to dress. She did not know where she
was going, but she would certainly go out just to get
rid of Gabrie.
"Shall I help?" asked the girl.
"Yes, please. Hook the collar. Oh, these collars!
What a torment they are! One wants a maid just for
these precious collars!"
"Haven't you got one?" said Gabrie, dryly, fastening
the collar.
"That girl? She's a mere scrub."
"Patience! Hold still a moment! How on earth
can you wear such a collar? Well, really, women are
the victims of fashion!"
Regina felt Gabrie's slim, cold fingers on her neck.
The gold-embroidered collar, which reached to her very
ears, choked her. She turned round, flushed and angry.
Was she angry with Gabrie or with the collar? She
did not know, but she flew out at Gabrie.
"Women! Aren't you a woman yourself, pray?
Be so kind as to drop that tone. I can't endure
it!"
"I know you can't," said the other meekly. "But is
that my fault?"
Regina looked at her while she held her breath,
fastening the overtight bodice. What did Gabrie mean?
Had her words some occult signification?
"How old are you?"
"Why do you ask? I'm twenty. Why?"
"Really?"
"Really. Why should I hide it? As I shan't find
a husband——"
"Don't be pathetic. I can't stand that, either."
"I know you can't. Is it my fault?"
"When's your first novel coming out?"
"Sooner than you think," said Gabrie, brightening,
but coughing violently.
"Will you put me into it?" said Regina, powdering
herself spitefully. The white powder clouded even the
looking-glass, and Regina thought—
"Gabrie must find me changed, and she'll be guessing
the reason."
She knew she was cross, and felt vexed that she
could not command herself. But Gabrie coughed on
and made no reply. They went out together.
"Where are you going?" asked Regina.
"Home to my studies."
"Come with me. There'll be matter for an authoress's
study. Imagine a room, with ten ladies, all mortal
enemies, because each one is afraid she isn't so well
dressed as the others!"
"In my books, if ever I write any, there'll be
nothing so banal. It's useless for you to take me
'in giro.'"[8]
They both laughed at the pun, but Regina felt that
the laugh rang false. She could not make out whether
Gabrie suspected her of reading the note-book.
"Good-bye," they said, without shaking hands. The
girl went off towards Via Torino and Regina turned in
the direction of Via Depretis, holding her smart dress
very high. In the silence of the deserted pavement
her silk petticoat rustled like the dead leaves of autumn.
She was thinking of Gabrie, who had flown to her garret
like a bee to its hive, and who had an object in this
stupid life. She walked on, but did not know whither
she was going.
She went a long way, aimlessly; down and up Via
Nazionale; then, scarcely noticing it, she found herself
in Via Sistina, going towards the Pincio. Her troubled
thoughts followed her like the rustle of her skirts.
On the Pincio she found the nurse with Caterina,
and they sat together on one of the terrace benches.
There was no music, but the fine day had attracted
a crowd of foreigners and carriages. From the bench
(while the baby bent from the arms of the stooping
nurse, picked up stones, examined them gravely, then
still more gravely offered them to another baby,) Regina
watched the circling carriages. Slowly she passed under
something of a spell as she gazed at the too luminous,
too tranquil, too beautiful picture—the pearly sky, the
flowery trees among the green trees, the charmingly
attired idle figures, the faces like paintings upon china.
As in the background of a stage picture, the beautiful
shining horses, the carriages full of fair women, passed
and re-passed in a kind of rhythmical course, which
fascinated with a sleepy fascination like that of running
water.
Once Regina's envy of those fine ladies in their
carriages had swollen even to sinful hatred. Now, from
the depths of the stupor which overwhelmed her, she
felt sorry for them, for the tedium of their existence,
their uselessness, their rhythmical course—always the
same, always equal, as on the park roads, so also in
their lives.
"Let us go. It's turning cold," said the nurse.
Regina started. The sun had gone down, clear in
a clear sky, scarce tinted by faint green and rose; an
ashen light, gently sad-coloured, fell over the picture.
Regina rose docilely and followed the big woman
whose bronze countenance was framed by the aureole
of a wet-nurse's head-dress.
They walked and walked. Caterina slept on the
nurse's powerful shoulder, and the ashy-rose twilight
threw its haze over Via Sistina. The portly nurse
swayed as she moved like a laden bark. Regina, slender
and rustling as a young poplar, followed automatically
as if towed by the big woman. When the latter
stopped—and she stopped before all the shop windows
which showed necklaces and rings—Regina also stopped,
her looks veiled and vague.
The long torment of excitement had been succeeded
by indefinable torpor. She was walking in a dream.
Years and years must have rolled by since she had
passed along Via San Lorenzo following the bird-seller.
Of all her emotions, now only a vague sadness remained.
She seemed no longer in doubt, but finally convinced of
the monstrous folly of her suspicion. Only she was
unable to recover her accustomed serenity.
Three lame musicians, standing before a gloomy
house, sobbed out of their old instruments a lament of
supreme melancholy. The pavement was crowded with
elderly foreign ladies in hats of impossible ugliness.
From every cross-street sounded the warnings of motors.
Regina, being short-sighted, was always afraid of the
motors, especially in the twilight, when the last light
of day was confused in perilous dazzle with the uncertain
brightness of the lamps. To-night she was more
nervous than usual. She felt as if monsters were
rampant through the city, howling to announce their
passage. Some fine day one of these monsters would
overwhelm her and the baby and the portly nurse,
grinding them like grains of barley.
In Piazza Barberini, an old gentleman, stooping
slightly, and wearing an overcoat of forgotten fashion
buttoned up tightly though the evening was almost hot,
passed close to Regina. She recognised the Senator,
Arduina's relation, and turned to speak to him; but his
ironical though kindly eyes were looking straight before
him, and he saw no one.
She had met him several times—once he had even
come to visit her—and each time he had talked about
England and the English laws, and the English women,
repeating the refrain of his old song—"Work, work,
work! That is the secret of a good life."
Regina had ended by finding him tiresome, like any
other old monomaniac. One could get along very well,
even without work; of course one could! But to-night
she watched the small, bent figure tripping along,
melting into the misty distance of the street, and she
thought it even more ridiculous than usual. Nevertheless,
it seemed to her that this little gnome-like figure
had appeared, as in a fable, to point the moral of her
unhappy history.
Ah, well!—to talk like the Master—all life, if one
considered it, was an unhappy history. Was it not
a most discomfortable sign of the times that a girl of
twenty, who had left the green river-banks of her birth-place
for the first time, should deliberately set down in
her note-book the most hideous things of life, which,
moreover, were only calumny?
Antonio came home about seven. As on an evening
long ago, the laid table awaited him, and the passage
was fragrant with the smell of fried artichokes. Regina,
not long returned from her walk, was making out the
housekeeping list for the morrow.
Caterina was awake, and Antonio took her at once
on his arm and sat down by the window. The lamp-light
always excited Caterina and made her even merrier
than usual.
"Like the kittens," said the nurse.
The baby, who appeared to cherish a great admiration
for her father, sat staring at him for a long time, then
gravely showed him one little foot with its sock on and
a new shoe.
Antonio understood her.
"Aha! A coquette already! We've got some
beautiful shoes, and we want them admired, eh?" he
said, nodding his head and taking the little foot in his
hand.
But Caterina's face darkened. She frowned horribly,
and made a great effort to liberate her foot. She
succeeded, but the shoe came off and fell on the floor.
Then the young father stooped and, not without
difficulty, put the little, hot, pulsing foot back in the
shoe, addressing the baby in phrases which, according
to Balzac, are ridiculous to read, but in the mouth of
a father are sublime.
Caterina replied in her own fashion.
The mother drew nearer, but Antonio and the baby
continued their interesting conversation. The young
man's eyes were clear and joyous, and once again
Regina convinced herself that she had dreamed a hideous
dream.
And day after day followed, almost exactly similar to
this one.
FOOTNOTES: — CHAPTER IV
[7]
The smallest, the last hatched, the favourite of the nestlings.
[8]Prendere in giro. To take round with one. To make fun of.
An unusually hot April was burning up the city.
Towards evening the heavens flamed like incandescent
metal. The scent of summer, of dust, of withered grass,
made the air almost suffocating.
One evening Regina was visiting the Princess, who
two days later was going to Albano.
"Shall you be there long?" asked the pink-china-headed
old gentleman, in French, making a great effort
to speak.
But, as he did not speak at all loud, Madame's big,
yellow face revolved slowly till her good ear was turned
in the old gentleman's direction.
"Beg pardon?"
"Will you stay long at Albano?"
"Three weeks."
"Where will you go afterwards?" continued the other,
with a seriousness almost tragic.
"To Viareggio, Monsieur. And you?"
"I don't know yet. I am still undecided. Perhaps
to Vichy. You will remain in Italy?"
"Probably this year. I am not over well, and I don't
wish to do anything fatiguing. How dreadfully hot
it is already! One can't sleep. I ought to have got
out the hair mattresses."
Madame sighed. Monsieur sighed louder. They
both seemed extremely unhappy, she on account of
the heat, he because he didn't know what to do with
himself for the summer.
"I'm sure there's going to be an earthquake," said
Marianna, by way of comfort, as she brought them their
tea.
The old gentleman, who for some time had been
casting tender looks at Marianna, fixed his little blue
eyes on her and said—
"How many cups, Mademoiselle, have you distributed
in your life? When I see you without one in your
hand your little figure seems to me incomplete."
But Mademoiselle was out of humour, and would
neither talk nonsense nor listen to it. Even she was
oppressed by the heat. Passing near Regina, she said, in
a stage whisper—
"For every cup of tea I have handed he has lost a
lock of his hair!"
But Regina also was cross, and did not listen.
The heat made everybody cross and stupid. Regina,
moreover, felt at the end of her forces; her pride and
her dignity were bending like leaves scorched by the
sun. She was anxiously expecting to be joined by
Antonio. Perhaps to-day she would really be given a
sign; what sort of sign she did not know, but she
waited. She waited; ashamed of being in this house,
of facing that old woman, who was as impassive as a
deaf sphinx; yet ashamed also of being ashamed.
While she waited her memory was busy. The very
smallest sign would be sufficient now she had gone over
the past, and called up with clearness and intensity
each act, each word, which might have an equivocal
signification. To-day the bitter-sweet perfume of lilac
which pervaded the room reminded her of another
occasion two years ago; of words, bitter as the perfume,
spoken by herself, and of Marianna's terrible reply.
"To be poor in Rome is to be like a beggar gnawing a
bone at the shut door of a palace."
"Just so; and presently the rich man's dog comes by
and snatches from the beggar's hand even the bone!"
Ah! Mademoiselle knew the world! While Regina
was recalling the distressed and ironical look which the
Princess had given her that day, just before her flight,
Marianna brought her some tea and began to tell the
misdeeds of a very elegant gentleman who frequented
Madame's receptions.
"They say he has really lived on the creatures," she
said, "and when they can't do any more for him, he
flings them away like sucked lemons."
"So much the worse for them," said Regina. "After
all, he's the strongest and——"
"Ah! I forgot you were a super-woman!" said
Marianna, in a low voice. Then she laughed. "Will
you have some more tea?"
Swift and terrible as the thunderbolt came the
thought to Regina—
"Marianna knows the secret, and believes that I know
it, too, and consent!"
A flame burned her face. Never did she forget the
shame which this flush caused her. It lasted a
moment. Then she looked contemptuously at Marianna,
and remembered that the girl might have spoken without
intention; merely one of her usual insolent follies.
Still, all her pulses had been set throbbing.
"At all costs I must get rid of this incubus," she
thought, not for the first, the second, the hundredth
time. To-day she felt that her trouble, real or
imaginary, had come to the crisis, and must be resolved,
either by deliverance or by death.
The old ladies and gentlemen were all gathered round
their hostess, who, whitewashed and wan, seemed in
that sparkling circle like a decaying pearl in a broken
setting. They were talking of the suicide of a Russian
personage, a Mæcenas known to all Europe.
One of the speakers, himself a Russian, told of a
dinner he had attended a few days before in Paris,
given by artists and noblemen to the rich suicide, and
of all the intrigues and evil diplomacy connected with
that symposium, and the bonds, more or less shameful,
by which its guests were united among themselves.
Regina listened and remembered that she had listened
to similar conversations a hundred times. What struck
her was the simplicity with which the Russian talked,
and the eagerness with which the others listened. No
one was abashed; some even gave signs of approbation,
and seemed delighted at hearing a scandal, which, for
the most part, they already knew. It was the way of
the world! And was she to be surprised if one of these
wrongs, which, it appeared, were habitual with all the
men and women of this earth, had come home to herself?
For a moment she asked, was she not a fool to
be so disturbed? Then the question horrified her.
She felt herself stifled. The heat of the room, here
and there still decked with furs, gave her really a
feeling of oppression and suffocation. Surely the feline
creatures were becoming alive! Their skins were filling
out; they were moving, approaching her! puffing hot
breath in her face, musky and voluptuous scent! They
fascinated her with their glassy eyes, raised their padded
paws, slowly, softly; hugged her, smothered her! Air!
air! To free herself, or else to die! Another moment,
and she, Regina—erring, perhaps, but not impure, who,
on the banks of her native river, had dreamed of all in
life which is worthy to support life—another moment,
and she would die of asphyxia!
Instinctively she got up and made her way to the
marble terrace, whence a stair led to the garden. A
man was working at a round plot like a tart, edged with
velvet grass and patterned with bedding plants. Everything
was soft and artificial in the little green and
flowery garden, strewn with wistaria petals. The sunset
light flushed the garland of white roses which hung
from the laurel above the little gate. At this hour the
little gate was shut.
The hot, over-scented air of the garden had not yet
brought Regina any relief, when she saw the gate open
and admit her husband. A sanguinous veil clouded her
eyes. For a moment she could not see the figure
advancing towards her. Antonio mounted the stair
quite quietly, stopped at her side, and asked—
"What are you doing here?"
He was smart as usual, but not in visiting costume.
"Why are you dressed like this?" said Regina,
touching his sleeve. "There is such a crowd of people,
and it's so hot. Don't go in! They haven't seen you,
and I am just going!"
"Wait one moment," he returned, tranquilly. "Why
are you going?"
"At least don't enter this way, Antonio!" she cried,
excitedly.
"But why not?" he repeated, opening the glass door.
Regina remained on the terrace, looking at the
gardener without seeing him. Her suspicion was
monstrous folly! A guilty man would not act as at
this moment Antonio had acted. Yet no! Immediately
she reflected that if he were guilty he would
naturally behave just as he had behaved—pretending
not to understand, even if he did understand, what was
passing in her soul. But no! Again, no! If he were
guilty he would have pretended better. He would not
have come in familiarly by the garden gate. He would
not have allowed himself the liberty, knowing his wife
here, in the other woman's house. Yet she was aware
that the most astute delinquents pretend sometimes to
forget, and commit imprudences just in order to mislead
suspicion.
But what startled her at the moment was the
perception that now she held Antonio not only guilty,
but aware of her suspicion, and resolved to continue
the deception.
She went back into the drawing-room, where the
discussion of the foreigner's suicide was still going on.
It seemed to her tiresome, provincial gossip.
Marianna gave Antonio tea, and while he nibbled a
yellow biscuit with teeth even as a child's, he also gave
his opinion of the tragedy. Madame bent forward to
listen, and fanned herself with a little Japanese fan,
which seemed made of polished glass. The rings on
her tiny hands sparkled in the light, which grew ever
fainter and rosier.
Nothing occurred. There was still no sign, no revelation
of the secret. Antonio did not take much notice
of Madame, and she, more drooping and impassive than
usual, turned her good ear to every one who spoke, now
and then replying politely. But in her metallic eyes
shone the vague and languid splendour of thoughts far
away in matters of her own.
After a while Regina rose. Antonio followed her.
They took leave and went away. Marianna ran after
them to the ante-room, and kissed Regina on both
cheeks.
"Me also?" said Antonio, offering his cheek.
"You to-morrow," she replied, carrying on the jest.
Then she said, seriously, "Come about seven, as we've
got to go out first. Ah!" she continued, following them
to the door, "that man has been back. He offers 300
lire or a new fur. But Madame is firm in demanding
her own; she says he'll have to be summoned."
"Well, we'll have him summoned," said Antonio.
"But was the old fur a good one?"
"Why, it cost 900 lire!"
"We'll see about it. Au revoir!"
"Good-bye. Are you coming to Albano, Regina?"
"If Madame invites us," said Antonio, and they went
out.
Regina has said neither yes nor no. They walked
as far as Piazza dell' Indipendenza in silence. Then
Regina raised her head and asked—
"What was that about a fur?"
"Oh, good Lord! don't speak of it! For a whole
month I've heard of nothing else. She sent a skin to
the furrier to be repaired, and it seems to have got
changed or something——"
"Are you going to Albano?"
"If she invites us—some Sunday."
"I'm not going," said Regina, stoutly.
"Why not?"
"Because—it's too hot," she said, dropping her voice.
"It won't be hot there. She has taken a villa on
the edge of the lake. Such roses on the terrace!
When they drop they fall straight into the water."
Regina knew all about it, for he had chosen the villa
himself, and had described it to his wife a few days ago.
They walked on without speaking further. The street
lamps burned yellow and dismal in the rosy twilight,
and their dull flame increased Regina's melancholy.
Her foolish project of spying upon Antonio in the night
recurred to her. She saw herself a flitting shadow
under that yellow and dismal light, shadowed herself
by some night prowler in search of adventure. But
suddenly she raised her head proudly, saying to herself—
"No, never again! This is the last time I shall go
to that house; and neither shall he go there again. It
is time to bring it all to an end!"
When she had reached her room, she took off her
silk jacket and flung it on the bed.
"Well! it is hot! What a summer we are going to
have! Oh, how horrid Rome is in the summer! And
they are already going away. Quite right, the poor
delicate things! But we—yes, gnawing our bones—if
they're left to us——"
"What's that you're muttering?" asked Antonio,
but went on, without waiting for an answer, "Hasn't
Caterina come in yet?"
Regina undressed, flinging down her things and inveighing
against the rich, great people, who abandon
Rome at its first heat.
Antonio stood looking out of the window. An angry
thought flashed through her mind, the worst of the
perverse thoughts which had destroyed her peace.
"He's no longer displeased when I am cross. He's
afraid of provoking me to a burst of rage. He guesses
that I know, and believes that I'll bear it—up to a
certain point."
"Shut the window!" she said, irritated.
He shut the window, patiently.
"I'm going for the Avanti,"[9] he said, moving away;
"make haste! it's half-past seven."
Left alone, Regina experienced a sort of crisis, as on
the evening two years ago when she had been to the
Grand Hotel.
"Ah!" she thought, putting on her home evening
dress; "The moment he comes in I'll say to him, 'It's
time to end this business! I am moving away—in reality
this time! I don't wish you to visit her at Albano. I
don't wish you ever again to go to her house. I will
never go to it myself. End it, Antonio! End it! end
it! Don't you see I am gnawing my heart out? Or
is it that you do see and don't care? Why don't you
care? At least tell me why! Why do you act like this?
I don't know how to bear all these superfluities, these
silk petticoats, chiffons, which you have bought me
with that money. There! I fling them all from me—all!
all! A garret is enough for me, a sack to dress
myself in, black bread—but honour, Antonio, honour,
honour!' Ah, they rob us even of our honour, even of
that one gnawed bone! But you'll have to reckon with
me, Madame! old viscous moon, blind and asthmatic
personification of nocturnal vampires! Wrapped in
your furs, isn't it enough that you've had an easy life,
a soft life, which has corrupted you, body and soul, but
you want pleasure also in your old age? You and your
old, rich friends, taking advantage of the poor, of the
poor and the young, who have been made tender by
tears, by weariness and grief, just as you have been
made soft by idleness and satiety!"
"All this rhetoric is very fine," she thought, presently,
putting her clothes in order, "but the world belongs to
the strong, and I—I am one of the weak. I am weak
because I reason too much, while those people don't
reason at all; they only enjoy. That deaf old witch
has never thought. She has stolen my Antonio, and
I—I have been torturing myself for a whole month
thinking whether it is delicate to say to my husband,
'End it! End it!' But I will speak to-night! And
he will retort, saying it was all done for me—to give
me those things I demanded; and then—then what
will happen? No; he won't reproach me at all! He
isn't capable of it. We shall forgive each other. And
then—what will happen? Is it true we can begin a
new life? Yes; even a ruined house can be rebuilt.
But it isn't the same house, and one can't live in it
without constantly thinking of the horror of the
ruin."
Antonio delayed in returning. The nurse also
delayed. She was out of temper at present and inclined
to take liberties, because she was soon to be
dismissed. It was almost night. Regina gazed from
the window, vaguely anxious about her child. Twilight
still lingered in the lonely street, grass-grown like the
streets of a deserted city. The gardens were odoriferous
with roses. A few stars twinkled on the still
blood-stained veil of the heavens.
And, notwithstanding her proud resolve, Regina was
overcome with grief at the thought of abandoning that
poetic street, every blade of whose grass had known the
illusion of her happiness.
But she kept silence on this evening also. How could
she help it? Caterina would not go to bed; she wanted
to stay with her papa, whose golden moustache, beautiful
eyes, beautiful scented hair, she admired prodigiously.
Did Caterina see that her papa was beautiful? That
cannot be known. But certainly she looked at his
attractive countenance with great pleasure, and seemed
to find special delight in touching the shaven face of
Il Papaino with her little peach-blossom cheek. Antonio
sang his favourite rhyme—
"Mousey doesn't care for cream,
Mousey wants to marry the Queen;
If the King won't let her go,
Mousey'll break his bones, you know."
Each time he repeated those lines Regina remembered,
as in a troubled dream, the evening of her arrival in
Rome. But to-night Caterina laughed and screamed
with mad delight, and admired her papa more than
ever; and then they talked together of so many things,
of such secret things, comprehensible only to themselves!
What could Regina do? Deprive Antonio,
who had been working all day, of the pleasure of talking
to his baby, wrest the little one from him, and send her
away? She was not so cruel. When at last Caterina's
big eyes became languid with sleep, and all her little
body relaxed and sank, heavy and sweet like a ripe
fruit, Antonio said—
"Now I am going out for a little."
What could Regina do? Say to him—
"No; stay. I wish to tell you the horrible things I
am thinking of you——?"
It was impossible. He had every right to go out for
a little, at least in the evening, after a whole day of
fatigue.
He went out, and Regina sat down and read the
terrible column of the Avanti called "What goes on
in the world."
Madame Makuline left Rome two days later, but
Antonio still went daily to the villa to see after the
letters and dispatch certain affairs.
On Sunday he showed Regina the key, and told her
the old servant left in charge of the house had asked
leave of absence.
"At last we are proprietors of a villa," he said, joking.
Then Regina was assailed by a temptation. In vain,
for some minutes, she tried to put it from her.
"Let us go to the villa," she proposed.
Antonio not only accepted, but seemed delighted.
Could he be so cynical?
She put on a soft, white dress, with big, flopping
sleeves, in which she looked very young and beautiful
with the modern beauty which lies less in line than in
expression. The dress was new, and Antonio admired
it to her satisfaction. Notwithstanding the internal
current of suspicion and resentment which continually
fretted her soul, she could not do without pretty frocks.
Sometimes she even felt a morbid pleasure in spending
that money on objects of ornament and superfluity. She
had resumed minute care of her complexion, her hair,
her nails. She wasted half-hours in rubbing her face
with oil of almonds, in dressing her hair to the fashion.
What did she mean by it? To please Antonio, or to
please others? She did not know, but, perceiving she
was no longer angry with herself for her vain refinements,
she questioned whether her moral sense were
not growing daily weaker and weaker.
Scarcely had they started for the villa when a puff of
contemptuous wind ruffled her hair and blew the
powder from her face. It was a burning afternoon;
the trees trembled at the breath of the hot wind; the
Piazza, dazzling in the sunshine, seemed vaster even
than usual. A veil of dust obscured the distance of the
streets. The east wind was raging, its hot breath
pregnant with malign suggestions.
Their heads bent, holding on their hats, Antonio and
Regina took their way, and they laughed a little and
squabbled a little. Arrived in front of the villa, they
looked round like thieves. The street was deserted,
swept by the wind; leaves of roses and geraniums
fluttered to the pavement; a hot perfume of lilies rose
from the garden. They seemed in an enchanted city,
new, unknown, not yet inhabited.
When Antonio unlocked the polished door, Regina
felt as if entering her own house, long dreamed of,
attained by magic. Stepping into the vestibule, cool
as the bed of the river, seemed like stepping into a
bath. The wolves were covered with cloths, as if they
had disguised themselves for fun in their mistress's
absence. A small marble head, pallid behind a motionless
palm-tree, faced the intruders with smiling lips.
Regina walked softly by force of habit, and removed her
hat before the veiled mirror. Then she remembered
they were alone, and put the hat on the marble head
with a laugh.
"Hush!" whispered her husband. "Don't make so
much noise."
"Who is there to hear us?"
He opened a door. She followed him. They crossed
the saloons and entered the dining-room. Antonio
walked on tip-toe with a certain diffidence. He would
not let Regina laugh.
"Aren't we here to play at being proprietors?" she
asked. "Let's see if we can make some tea!"
"No, no," said Antonio. "I don't want the caretaker
to find out we've been here. But stop—there should
be some Madeira in the sideboard. Aha!"
They found the bottle and tasted it. Then they put
everything back in its place. They were like children.
Antonio became merry, and, without making a noise,
began also to amuse himself. They returned to the
drawing-room, and Regina partly opened the shutters.
A green light illuminated one corner. Regina pretended
to be holding a reception, mimicked the voice of
the pretty blind lady, then lolled on Madame's favourite
sofa. It was covered with grey fur, and suggested an
immense sleeping cat.
In her soft dress, her hair falling loose on her
forehead, her eyes burning, and it seemed artificially
darkened, she looked, in the green penumbra,
a real, great lady, blasée, lost in an unwholesome
dream.
Antonio meantime tried to open the door which led
to the terrace and the garden.
"Wait a bit," said Regina. "Let's look round
up-stairs first. Have you ever been up-stairs?"
"I? Never."
"Well, come now. Leave that door locked. Come
here. I want to tell you something!" she said,
childishly.
"What is it? I'm looking for the key."
As if guessing her idea, he did not come to the lure.
Then she felt blaze up the wicked doubt which persecuted
her. Yes, in this room, perhaps on this very
divan, Antonio had stained his lips with hateful kisses!
She bit her lips to repress a shudder, then rose and
hastened to the next room.
"Let's go in there. Never mind that door."
He crossed the room and joined her. Cat-like,
Regina threw herself on his breast and kissed him.
Illusion of the light? It seemed to her that
Antonio's face became green, and she believed she had
intuition of the drama evolving in his soul. Yes! he
must at this moment be remembering something
nauseous! an embrace, a kiss, which had stained his
soul with infamy! Here, in this place to kiss the lips
of his wife must be castigation for him!
Her delirium was increasing.
"Kiss me!" she imposed upon her husband, fixing
on him eyes of tragic flame, and drawing him towards
the divan. He certainly resisted; but he kissed her,
his lips still scented with the wine. Then Regina, on
fire with the madness of her doubt, believed the
moment had come for tearing the vile secret from
those lips, whose kisses gave her mortal anguish in
this place where every object must remind Antonio
of his miserable error.
But she was unable to formulate her horrible
demand.
Afterwards they penetrated into the study and the
library, where Antonio was accustomed to spend what
he called his hours of service. It was a real library,
with a thousand volumes artistically bound. Madame
had shown Regina some ancient books, an illuminated
codex, Ariosto's autograph, said to be genuine, some
letters from celebrated authors, amongst them three
signed Georges Sand. In spite of her pre-occupation,
Regina amused herself looking through the glass of
the bookshelves, as the street boys peer into the shop
windows. Meantime Antonio glanced at the letters
laid on the writing-table at which he was accustomed
to dispatch the Princess's correspondence.
Regina presently made her way into the little
adjoining room, a boudoir where Madame sometimes
dined. Antonio followed. They opened the door and
found themselves in a wide ante-chamber, which communicated
with the garden. A back staircase led to
the first floor. But all doors were locked except that
of the bath-room. A little water, blue with soap, had
been left in the bath.
Regina was watching Antonio, but he moved with
hesitation, and she thought him unfamiliar with the
house.
"I want to cross that bridge which connects the two
parts of the villa," said Regina, shaking the lobby doors.
But everything was locked, so they descended again
and went to the kitchen. Tufts of verdure almost
blocked the barred window. Still, the golden afternoon
light penetrated at the top. A background of flower-garden
was discernible, and rose petals had fallen on the
shining pavement. A marble table was splendid in the
centre of the kitchen.
"It's like a church!" said Antonio, merry again.
"Suppose we dance a little?"
"It's finer than our drawing-room," sighed Regina.
"Oh! do be quiet!"
But he whirled her away with him round the table.
A magnificent black cat, asleep on the dresser, raised
his great, round head, opened his orange eyes, and
looked at the two liberty-taking people without moving.
Regina shuddered, however.
"How silly we are!" she said. "Suppose the man
were to come in and find us here? I declare I hear
steps in the garden! Let us escape!"
But Antonio put on the cook's apron, pretended to
cook, and, servant-fashion, spoke against the mistress.
He suggested that she was a spy of the Russian Government.
Regina listened and laughed, but reflected that
in this kitchen was perhaps known and discussed that
other secret of which she had not been able to rend
the unclean veil.
She resented Antonio's gaiety, and an accident
increased her ill-humour. The cat was still watching,
now and then giving an ostentatious yawn. She tried
to stroke him, stretching her hand over the dresser.
But the cat sprang to a ledge higher up, and upset a
flask. Big drops of oil, thick and yellow, rained on her
white raiment, spotting it irreparably. She nearly cried
with annoyance; foolish words came unconsciously from
her mouth.
"Even my dress gets stained in this horrible house!"
Antonio listened, but seemed not to understand. He
found a bottle of benzine, and helped Regina to clean
her dress, then put everything back in its place, threw
his arm round her waist, and made her run with him
up the stair, careless of her stumbles, deaf to all
protests and reproaches.
Thus they entered the garden, and Regina recovered
her calm. The sinking sun gilded half the expanse,
leaving the rest in deep shadow. The wind passed
high up over the tops of the laurels, which were
garlanded with white roses. From time to time a rain
of rose-leaves, of lime-blossom, of wistaria, circled down
through the hot air and fell on the paths. Regina and
her husband sat in a green corner close to a hermes, on
which was an archaic head. Black, hard, epicene, it
had a complacent and sarcastic smile.
"He thinks us a pair of lovers," said Regina, remarking
the expression. "No, my dear fellow, I assure you
we are enemies!"
"And why?" asked Antonio, coldly.
Then a recollection shot through Regina's mind.
"Do you remember that day in the woods, two
years ago, when you—had come for me? There
were so many blue butterflies, just like these wistaria
blossoms——"
She laughed meaningly. Did he remember? And
the remembrance of that hour of pleasure passed in the
mystery of the damp, hot woods the day after his
coming to Regina's home, after her flight and their
reconciliation, seemed to reawaken him to passion.
The childish gaiety which had animated him a few
minutes before passed into a nervous tenderness, and
this time it was he who sought the lips of his wife in a
kiss, which reminded her of his kisses then.
And her doubts tormented her more than ever.
At sunset-time they went back into the house, but
they did not yet go away. They wandered through the
rooms abandoning themselves to childish extravagances.
They ran about in the dark, and Regina, wailing over
her dress, amused herself spitefully moving the furniture
which Antonio put back into order.
Now and then they renewed their lover-like caresses.
The warmth of the spring sunset came through the
closed shutters and set Antonio's blood on fire. Regina
found a perverse pleasure in enjoying the tenderness of
her young husband there where she suspected he had
stained the purity of his love.
Turbid poison was boiling in her soul. When Antonio
kissed her, and trembled under her unaccustomed kisses,
she fixed wild eyes on the dark corners, on the opaque
brilliance of the veiled mirrors, trying to penetrate into
the secrets of their vanished reflections. It seemed
to her that the phantasm of "the old moon," of the
purchaser of kisses, was there in the depth of some
looking-glass, gnawing herself with jealousy and rage
at the sight of Antonio giving his wife caresses, a single
one of which all her millions was not sufficient to buy.
Thus Regina thought to take her revenge, but a flood
of disgust rose more and more bitter from the depths of
her heart. Disgust at herself and disgust at Antonio!
How cynical must he be if he could thus disport himself
in this place which knew his sin! or, if he were
innocent, how contemptible if, with the passivity of
a weak man, he could thus violate the house of
his benefactress merely to amuse the ill-regulated,
hysterical woman, who that day was concealing herself
under the white dress and fashionable coiffure of
Regina, his wife.
At the bottom of her soul, however, well at the
bottom, beyond all consciousness, in its darkest, most
mysterious depths, Regina cherished a bitter satisfaction
in recognising how utterly this man belonged to herself.
Always and everywhere, even in error, it was she who
dominated him. And, because of this, notwithstanding
all resentment, all disgust, even when she felt she no
longer loved her husband, even when she despised
herself, thinking her soul stained like her dress,
corrupted in the soft air, the half-light, the poisoned
fragrance of that house, where, it seemed, "anything
might happen," she felt infinite pity for Antonio. And
on this pity she lived.
At the end of the week a telegram came from
Madame, asking Antonio to go to Albano.
"She can't live without him," thought Regina, assailed
by a spasm of real jealousy. "I feel scruples at having
merely gone into her house in her absence, but she has
no scruples, none! I won't allow him to go!"
She was unreasonable, and she knew it; but the
delirium, the quiet madness of doubt, had become
habitual with her.
As usual, however, she was unsuccessful in carrying
out her proud intention. When Antonio suggested she
should accompany him to Albano, she said "Yes."
She said "Yes" up to the last moment, but on
Sunday morning changed her mind.
"Don't you go either," she said. "If Madame wants
you, why can't she come to Rome? Are you her
slave?"
"Regina!" he said, reprovingly.
"I am not Regina, not a queen—not even a princess!
I'm sick to death of this life we are leading! All
through the week we see each other only for a minute
at a time, and now you are going away even on
Sunday!"
"Just for once. Why won't you come too?"
"I won't, because I don't want to. I am nobody's
toady, and it's time you gave up the office yourself! Is
there any more necessity for it? If it's true our affairs
are so prosperous," she went on, with open sarcasm,
"then why——"
"There's no good discussing it with you," he interrupted,
firing up. "You're always unreasonable!"
He set out at noon. In the afternoon Regina went
for one of her rare visits to her mother-in-law. She
stayed for dinner, and once more made part of the picture
she had so detested, but now she had very different
feelings from those of old. Thinking it over, she asked
herself why that picture had appeared to her so vulgar.
Merely as types of character the personages were
interesting, or at least seemed so now.
Arduina and Massimo discussed celebrated authors—she
with real animus, he with contempt for her.
Gaspare told the conjugal misfortunes of one of his
colleagues. Signor Mario picked his teeth, and Signora
Anna lamented the terrible conduct of her servant. It
was amusing—for once in a way. The dinner was good;
they drank and laughed. Claretta admired herself in
the glass, flirted with Massimo and even with Gaspare.
In fact, nothing in the environment had changed;
yet Regina was no longer disgusted. Claretta was less
elegant than herself, and Signora Anna took quite
maternal satisfaction in pointing this out. She asked
her niece why she didn't do her hair like Regina's.
"This suits me better," drawled the young lady,
putting her hand to her head and settling the lace
butterfly which decked her locks; "besides, it's the
fashion."
"Excuse me," said Massimo, "the women of the
aristocracy do their hair like Regina."
"Madame Makuline, perhaps?" said Claretta,
ironically.
Regina glanced at her. Did she mean anything, the
pretty cousin? Did she know anything?
When the others sat down to cards Regina went into
the bedroom which once had seemed to her a haunt of
incubi. It was open to the balcony, and the moon
illuminated the curtains, projecting a silver dazzle
across the interior. The great bed was a white square
in the centre of the room, corners of chairs and tables
caught the light, a scent of pinks perfumed the silence
and the peace of that great matrimonial chamber,
nest of humdrum bourgeois felicity. Regina thought
if Antonio had brought her to Rome on a night like
this, and had introduced her into that room shining
thus, wrapped in the dreams of mid-May, nothing would
have happened that had happened.
She leaned from the balcony; pinks were at her
feet; over a sweet heaven of velvety blue passed
the moon distant and melancholy, distant and pure,
like a sail lost in the immensity of the ocean of
dream.
Naturally Regina's thoughts flew to the terrace on
the shore of the Albano lake, where rose-leaves fell like
butterflies on the iridescent mother-o'-pearl of the
moonlit water.
What was Antonio doing? Was it possible that the
monstrous dream which crushed her could have any
reality? Under the infinite purity of the heavens
could such wickedness be wrought on earth?
But when she had returned home, the incubus settled
down on her again, victor once more in that strife which
too often proved her the weaker.
She expected Antonio by the last train. He did not
come, neither did he send an explanatory telegram.
Regina waited till midnight, then went to bed, but
passed an agitated night, perhaps because for the first
time she was alone.
Very early she had Caterina brought to her. The
baby, in her little night-dress, sat on the pillow and
seemed uneasy at her father's absence.
"Papa?" she asked.
"Papa isn't here. He'll come very soon, very soon,
very soon! Go to sleep. Lie down. Give me little
foot—my little foot. That other one is Papa's? Very
well, you can give it to him when he comes," said
Regina, drawing the baby down. Caterina was in the
habit of giving one foot to Mamma and the other to
Papa. Regina took both the little feet, but Caterina
wished to keep Papa's free. Then she touched the lace
on Regina's night-dress with her rosy finger.
"Ti è to?" she asked.
"Questo è tuo?—Is this yours?" translated Regina.
"Yes, it's mine. And little Caterina, whose is she?
Mine, isn't she? all mine! And a little bit Papa's;
but very, very little, because Papa is naughty, and
doesn't come home, and leaves poor little Mamma all
alone!"
She relieved her mind thus, talking in baby language
to the rosy little creature; and while she made Caterina
give her wee, wee, wee, dear, dear little kisses, and felt
there could be no greater pleasure, she still thought of
the monstrous visions which had agitated her all
night. Doubtless Antonio had slept at the villa on
the shore of the lake, in a room of which the window
was a wondrous picture of the landscape and the sky.
And in the silence of the night, while outside the
woods, the waters, the heaven, were a poem of
beauty and purity, an odious idyl was taking place
within.
"My little, little Caterina, my pet, put your arms
round me! Let us sleep together," said Regina, laying
the baby's hand on her face, and closing her eyes, as if
to exclude the evil sights. "There! shut the little
peepers! that's the way!"
The child obeyed for a moment, but suddenly became
cross, struggled, and with her little open hand gave her
mother a slap on the face.
"Oh, how naughty!" said Regina. "I'll tell Papa,
you know! You are not to hit your Mamma! Ask
my forgiveness at once; love me at once, like this!
Say, 'Dear, dear Mamma, forgive Baby! Baby will
never do it again.'"
But Caterina struck her a second time, and Regina
became really angry.
"You are very, very naughty," she exclaimed, taking
the little hand and administering pandies. "Go away;
I don't want Baby any more. Baby isn't my little,
little one any more. I don't love her. She also has
grown wicked!"
Caterina began to cry—real tears, and this consciousness
of grief, so rare in a child, struck the young mother
profoundly.
"No, no! My baby at least shall not suffer! It is
too soon!" she thought, and again gathered the little
one in her arms, smoothed her hair, and kissed her little
trembling head.
"Come here, then! Hush! hush! hush! She won't
be naughty any more. Hush! Mamma does love her!
That's my own pet! There, there! Listen! Here
comes Papa!"
At this suggestion Caterina calmed herself by magic.
Then to Regina a thing she had already suspected was
clearly revealed, and she marvelled that she had ever
doubted it. Caterina loved her father more than she
loved her mother! With that wondrous instinct of a
babe, Caterina felt that he was the kinder, the weaker,
the more affectionate of the two; that he loved her
more blindly, more passionately, than her mother loved
her. Consequently, she preferred him.
Regina was not jealous, nor did she question if
this proved her too much or too little a mother. But
that morning, in the whirl of sad and ugly things
which veiled her soul, she felt an unexpected light,
she felt that supreme sentiment of pity, which in
the dissolving of all her dreams sustained her like
a powerful wing, spread, not over herself, not over
Antonio, but over their child. They two were already
dead to life, corrupted by their own errors; but
Caterina was the future, the living seed which had
had its birth among withered leaves. The soil
around it must be cleared. And for the first time
she thought that, not for herself in a last vanity of
sacrifice, not for him whose soul was eternally
stained, but for the child, she must draw Antonio
out of the mire.
He came back by the 7.20 train, and had scarcely
time to dress, swallow his coffee, and run to the
office.
At the midday meal he told of the wonders of Albano,
of the villa, of the night on the lake.
"Such flowers! such roses! Marvellous! I lost the
last train because I had meant to take it at Castel
Gandolfo, and Madame and Marianna insisted on leaving
the carriage and walking part of the way. You can't
imagine the splendour—the moonlight. I was thinking
of you the whole time! I didn't wire, because it was
too late."
"Is any one blaming you?" asked Regina,
absently.
"You were angry, Regina?"
"I? Why?"
Antonio must have seen that some distress was
clouding her spirit, for he began to talk volubly, trying
to distract her. He complained of the Princess.
"What a nuisance she is! She made me take this
journey all for the sake of that old fur. 'Beg pardon?'"
he went on, mimicking her. "'It's not for its money
value, but because it's a precious remembrance——'
Perhaps Georges Sand gave it to her! She talked of
nothing else. Even Marianna couldn't stand it, and
proposed to skin the furrier if he didn't send it back at
once."
"Did you sleep at the villa?" asked Regina, who was
not listening.
"Well, she couldn't well send me anywhere
else!"
"Oh, of course not!" said Regina, with evident
sarcasm. And, without raising her eyes from her plate,
she went on, "Is Madame a Russian?"
"Why, yes—didn't you know it?" answered Antonio,
quickly.
He said no more, but his voice had shaken with a
scarce perceptible vibration, which Regina did not fail
to observe.
Without a look, without a sign, at that moment they
understood each other, and each knew it. Regina
thought Antonio's face darkened, but she did not dare
to look at him. She went on eating, and only after a
minute raised her head and laughed. Why at that
moment she laughed she never knew.
"I was awake all night," she said; "I felt just like a
widow."
"Well, wouldn't you like to be a widow? I know
quite well you don't love me any longer," he answered,
half fun, whole earnest.
"Oh, zielo!" said Regina, light and cruel, imitating
the cry of heartless jest which she had heard from a
spectator at a popular theatre, "what a tragedy of a
honeymoon gone wrong!" Then changing her voice,
but still satirical, "On the contrary, my dear, it's you
who want to be a widower."
"I don't see it."
"It's true."
"How do you make it out?"
"Why, what would happen if you were a widower?
You'd marry again at once. You're one of the men
who can't enjoy life alone—who are no good living
alone. I'm sorry for those men."
"You are sorry for me?"
"I pity you heartily."
"Why? Because I am your husband?"
"Yes, because you're my husband. Take away!" said
Regina to the maid, pushing her plate aside contemptuously.
When they were again alone, she added,
"Next time don't be so stupid as to marry a poor
woman."
He looked at her, and she thought his eyes were
illuminated by a flash of anger, cold, metallic, such as
she had never seen in him.
"I shouldn't know what to do with riches," he
answered quietly.
The servant reappeared at the door, and Regina
was silent, struck with a sense of chill. It appeared
to her that Antonio's words had an intention of dogged
defence, a sharp and crushing reproach like a blow.
She felt herself mortally wounded.
The strife was beginning then? For to-day they
said no more. On the contrary, after their meal they
went together to their room and took their siesta in
company, and before going out Antonio kissed his wife
with his accustomed slightly languid but affectionate
tenderness.
But from henceforth Regina fancied he would be
on guard ready to defend himself at all points.
After this they bickered continually. She found
annoyance in nothings, criticising all his little defects,
and accusing him veiledly in a manner that he ought
to understand if he were guilty. Antonio defended
himself, but without too much heat, too much offence.
She could not avoid the thought that he feared to
drive her to extremities, and great sadness overwhelmed
her. Why were they each so cowardly? Why did she
not dare to confront him openly, though all within her,
all her thoughts, recollections, instincts, rose up against
him and accused him? Well, at last she confessed it
to herself. She was afraid; afraid of the truth. Above
all, she was afraid of herself. She believed that
nothing kept her generous, enabled her to contemplate
pardon, but the hope she was deceived. If it were
certainly true, would she pardon? Sometimes she
feared she would not.
Most of all her own weaknesses saddened her—the
contradictions and phantasms of her sick spirit. Day
by day her soul was revealed to her. She had thought
herself superior, delicate, understanding; instead, she
found she was cowardly and weak. She was like a
tree never brought under cultivation, which might
have borne good fruit, but, with its tangle of barren
branches, only succeeded in throwing a pestiferous
shadow. Was it her own fault?
However, in measure as she learned to know herself,
she tried to improve. Instinct, too, would not suffer
her to persevere in a small strife, in vulgar and inconclusive
affronts. The bickering ceased and a truce
followed, the result of anguished incertitude and vain
hope.
She compared herself to a sick person, who ought to
submit to a dangerous operation, and has decided to
do so, in hope of regaining health, but who for the
present prefers to suffer, and postpones the fateful
moment.
Meanwhile the outward existence of this pair followed
its equable course, apparently tranquil, all compounded
of sweet and monotonous habits. May died, having
again become pure, blue, chilly. The sky, after a
few days' rain, had taken an almost autumnal tint,
beautiful and suggestive.
Like a vein of milk in a poisoned flood, nostalgia for her
distant home mingled with Regina's sorrow. Memory
absorbed her, penetrated to her blood with the scent of
the new leaves which perfumed the shining evenings
in Via Balbo. During some walk to Ponte Nomentano
or in Trastevere, it sufficed for the splendour of silvery
green on the Aniene, or the yellow vision of the Tiber,
in the depths of the green, velvety, monotonous Campagna—like
the harmonies of a primitive music—to
give her attacks of almost tragic homesickness. But
now-a-days she knew the nature of this malady—it
was the vain longing for a land of dreams lost to her
for ever.
She liked these little expeditions, which once she
had despised, calling them the silly pleasures of little
bourgeois resigned to their gilded mediocrity.
Sometimes Antonio proposed a walk beyond the Trastevere
Station for the long, luminous afternoon; and
she would meet him at the Exchange. More often they
went to Ponte Nomentano, taking the baby with them,
carried on the servant's arm. Antonio would amuse
himself pretending to pursue Caterina; the maid
would run and the baby contort herself with joy,
screaming like the swifts, pink with the fearful delight
of being hunted and not caught. Then Regina would
linger behind, looking at the vermilion sky, the rosy
lawns, the tranquil distance, all that grand country of
aspect monotonous and solemn; like the life of a poet
who has sung immortal songs without ever having had
an adventure or committed a crime.
And, watching Antonio running after his child,
quivering himself with innocent joy, she once again
believed herself deluded in her mistrust of him.
CHAPTER VI
One evening, however, they were walking alone together
towards Acqua Acetosa. Making a short cut to
the Viale della Regina, they crossed certain narrow lanes
beyond Porta Salaria, and Regina suddenly stopped
before an osteria (tavern).
A bright interior was visible through an open
doorway. At the far end of the room was a glass
window coloured by the declining sun, and against this
luminous background passed and re-passed, light-footed
and black, a couple of dancers, dancing to the strains
of a husky concertina. A girl, pale and thin, but
bright-eyed, was seated by the door, her arm on the
corner of a table, her fair hair mixing in with the
shining background. She was something like Gabrie,
and dressed like her in a pink blouse. For a moment
Regina thought it was she.
"Why, look! there's Gabrie!"
"So it is," replied Antonio.
They drew nearer. The girl got up, thinking them
customers. She was half-a-foot taller than Gabrie.
The couple went on dancing, black and light against
the orange brilliance of the window, and Regina and
Antonio passed on. They were speaking of Gabrie.
From that instant Regina felt a vague perturbation;
but she had no idea of beginning a hateful discussion.
She said, almost involuntarily—
"One of these days I mean to bring that poor girl
with us. I hardly ever see her, but I do so pity her.
She coughs incessantly."
"She is a poor thing; consumptive, I fancy," said
Antonio. "You shouldn't let her kiss Caterina. But
why is it you don't see her?"
"Because she's ill-natured. She does nothing but
observe people and take away their characters."
By force of old habit, Antonio held Regina's hand in
his as they walked. Before them spread the Viale.
Visions of depths of the Campagna, vivid in its pure
spring green, appeared in the distance to right and
left through the motionless plane-trees, against a pearl-grey
sky shot with colours from the sinking sun. The
gardens were overrun with roses and lilies, whose
fragrance mingled with the scent of herbs and of
strawberries. Now and then a carriage went by and
vanished into the distance of the deserted Viale.
"Who was it told me the same thing of Gabrie?"
asked Antonio.
"Marianna, perhaps?" suggested Regina, sharply.
"I believe it was."
"She's just the same herself. One's no better than
the other; that's what makes them friends."
"Oh, there's no one like Marianna," said Antonio,
and looked away into the distance.
Then, in one second, flashing and following each
other like lightning, a succession of ideas started up in
Regina's mind. She would have snatched her hand
from Antonio, but fancied he might guess her thoughts
from the action, and she stiffened herself to endure the
contact. She stiffened in appearance, but her heart
was beating violently, two, three, ten, many strokes;—the
hour had come!
It seemed to her that some one, some mysterious
being, black in the sunset brilliance, had passed by
smiting her heart with a hammer. And her heart
awaked from the evil stupor of the long oppression.
Now she could arise, shake herself, walk; walk,
breathe, cry aloud; live, and make a supreme effort to
rid herself of the shadow, of the weight of the incubus—or
else she must fall again under that weight, under
that black shadow, and must die.
From day to day Regina had expected this hour of
conflict, yet from day to day she had put it from her
like a bitter cup.
Now it had come, and she felt a mysterious fear.
Again she would have wished to put it off; but
a strange impulse, what seemed an instinct of self-preservation
superior to her will, clutched her and
forced her to speak.
She remembered none of the words prepared for
weeks and months; only Antonio's sentence about
Marianna gave her a thread to which she clung desperately,
as to a thread which would guide her out of the
dark labyrinth.
She had turned and turned in the maze of the
evil dream, but she had come back to the precise
point where she had stood on the day of the
catastrophe.
"No," she began, in a toneless voice; "you cannot
guess how malignant Gabrie is. Oh, much more than
Marianna! Marianna sees, and sometimes at least says
nothing. But Gabrie——If you can bear it, I will
tell you something, Antonio."
He turned round and looked at her. She looked at
him. It seemed as if for that moment they understood
each other without more words. However, she went
on.
"You will be patient?"
He looked straight before him, indifferent, too indifferent.
"Go on."
"Gabrie says you are Madame Makuline's lover."
He reddened. Anger deformed his face. He dropped
Regina's hand and flung it from him, opening his lips
with gestures of astonishment and wrath.
"She said that to you?" he cried.
His voice resounded in the silence of the road.
"She told me, yes."
He stood still. Regina stood still. Her heart beat.
His hands, hanging down, groped as if trying to lay
hold of something. The gesture is customary with
actors at the dramatic moments of their part. Regina
feared that Antonio acted his part too well. Then she
thought, forcing herself to be just—
"If he is innocent, it's natural he should be upset."
"And you, you——" he burst out, "did not strike
her? You actually thought of bringing her with us
to-day!"
"Antonio," exclaimed Regina, looking at him with
feigned surprise, "you promised to be patient!"
"But it's abominable!" he said, lifting his hands.
"How do you suppose I can be patient? If you are
joking let me tell you it's a hideous joke. If what you
tell me is serious, I am astounded at your calm."
His face paled rapidly as it had flushed, but it paled
too much; it became almost grey.
Regina did not move an eyelash, so narrowly she was
watching him. She saw that his agitation was real,
but she did not know, could not find out, its precise
cause. For some moments, however, the strong desire
that Antonio should not belie his indignation induced
in her a wave of joy. She abandoned herself to it. It
was not mere desire, it was certainty of having been
deceived! Yet—an inexplicable thing happened; the
hope of having been deceived did not restore her
kindness. She became cynical—cruel.
"Come!" she said, with bitter gaiety, "why should I
be angry? why should I strike Gabrie? Suppose she
had told me the truth? Let's walk on," she added,
trying to take his arm again.
But he repulsed her, and remained standing.
"Let me alone! What do you mean by the truth?"
"The fact that every one believes it, without daring
to tell me, as she dared——"
"Every one believes it? But—Regina, do you believe
it?"
"I also!"
"Listen to me," he said, indignant again, but with an
indignation different from the first—deeper, more
scornful—"listen to me! Are you not ashamed of
yourself?"
"Walk on," she said moving, but not trying to take
his arm this time; "don't let us make a scene in the
middle of the street."
And she walked on, blind, all involved again in the
fearful shadow from which she had thought herself freed.
The momentary hope was over. Why? She did not
know. Can one know why the sky becomes suddenly
covered with cloud?
Antonio's attitude was that of a man who is offended.
He followed her scarcely a step behind, and repeated,
mechanically—
"You ought to be ashamed——"
She was no longer able to abandon herself to her
ardent desire of believing him innocent. She could
not!—could not!
"Every one believes it?" repeated Antonio, walking
by her side, but not touching her. "And you tell me
in this way, in the street, suddenly, as if it were a joke!
And you, you believe it yourself! And you speak of it
like this!"
"How would you have me speak of it?"
"At least you should have spoken sooner."
"Perhaps I heard it to-day, a little while ago, for the
first time."
"That's impossible! You were too calm a little
while ago!"
"One can pretend," she said, with a forced smile,
which furrowed her cheek like a sign of pain.
"A little while ago?" he repeated, closing his hand
and shaking it on a level with her face. "Then why do
you say every one believes it? Have you just learned
that too? Did you hear it from that—that—I don't know
what to call her—there is no word——And you—you
aren't ashamed to demean yourself to such scandal-mongering
with a creature like that, a degenerate——You——"
he continued, forcing himself to scorn, "you,
the superior woman, the exceptional fastidious woman,
the great lady—the great lady!" he repeated, raising
and coarsening his voice.
Then Regina fired up. Sombre redness made her
face from forehead to chin a circle of fire; in their turn
her hands were agitated in tragic gesticulation.
"Antonio, hush!" she said, not looking at him.
"What do you expect? Life is like that—stupid and
vulgar. The most horrible things are revealed by the
gossip of silly women, and whole dramas are played on
the high road in the course of an evening walk. It
wouldn't do if that happened in a novel! The author
would be accused of vulgarity, if not of nonsense. In
real life, on the contrary, see what happens. The grand
lady goes to a garret in Via San Lorenzo to discover the
cause of her unhappiness; the superior woman comes
out into the street to——"
"Regina, have done! have done!" cried Antonio.
"You reason too much and too coldly for you to believe
what you are saying. No, it is not true! You do not
believe it! Tell me you don't believe it!"
And he tried to take her arm, but this time it was
she who repulsed him.
"Let me alone! That is what you men are! If I
had been another woman, another sort of wife, I should
have lain in wait for you at home, like a tigress in her lair.
I should have made a scene, one of those scenes called
strong, which are so pleasing at the theatre or in a novel.
Whereas, I have spoken to you quite quietly. I repeat
a thing which every one is saying, and I ask nothing
better than that we should laugh at it together. But
you—you begin with noisy words, 'aren't you ashamed,'
and 'scandal-mongering,' and 'the great lady.' Yes,
certainly, I am a lady; more of a lady than those other
women. It is just that I don't value conventionalities;
that is the calamity."
"Then would you prefer me to be silent? Is that it?
Don't torment me like this, Regina! In my opinion it
would have been better to have this scene at home.
Well, your jealousy is the last straw——"
Regina laughed. Her laugh was genuine but
strident, hoarse, as if proceeding out of rusty iron.
"My dear, you are raving! Jealousy! Come, not
that!"
"Why did you say you believed it?"
"Did I say so? Surely not."
"I tell you, you did say it."
"I said I believed people believed it."
"I don't think so," he protested. "Well, 'people'
are always malicious."
"That, at any rate, is true. People are malicious.
You see, our position has changed; we are living comfortably
in spite of our slender income, so at once people
hatch a scandal. The very excuse you make that you
have become a speculator just now, when you might
have been one all along——"
"That is absurd!" interrupted Antonio. "I was a
bachelor before, and had more money than I knew what
to do with. Besides, you are supposed to have money
of your own. No one knows that I began speculating
by a mere chance——"
"What has all this to do with it? The world has no
need to know our affairs. Chance!" she repeated, her
face darkening as she remembered the "chance" in
which she had so childishly believed, while instinct had
warned her of fiction, fiction clever but thin, like the
invention in a novelette.
"What do you mean?" she went on, reassailed by a
stifling wave of rage and suspicion. "The world is
malicious just because every day, every hour, these
strange chances are happening. You know the background
of life better than I do. Shame upon
shame! How often have you not yourself pointed
out to me smart young men who are living on their
mistresses?"
Antonio made no answer, and she continued—
"So I said to myself, 'The appearance itself that we
are not living merely on our fixed income, the excuse
that you play, and have capital at your disposal in
result of a game where, as at every game, one sometimes
wins but sometimes loses, or the excuse that you
are that woman's agent—confidential servant—all that
has given rise to suspicion.' What do you expect?"
she repeated for the third time. "The world is
malicious. We—you—are seen for ever going to that
house. Everything is seen, commented on, suspected.
Your own relations—do you think your own relations
have no doubts, make no allusions? Why, a few days
ago Claretta——"
Having reached this point Regina became alarmed
and silent. She felt herself saying things untrue, giving
form to the phantasms of her suspicions. She had no
wish to deceive. She wanted the truth. Was she to
seek it with lies? No; the truth must be sought with
truth. This was her desire, but she was unequal to
achieving it. As during their nocturnal walk along the
Po, that evening of Antonio's arrival, so now she felt a
veil suspended between them. They saw, but could not
touch each other—so near were they, yet so far, separated
by the black veil of lies. Why continue this
conversation woven of deceits? Words, words! Cold,
vain, vulgar words! The truth was in silence, or at
least in those words which the lying lips were unable to
shape. Regina reflected—
"If I dare not speak my real thought, I who have
nothing shameful to conceal, how can he speak his? It
is useless to insist. He will not confess. None the
less, we may come to an understanding. I will say to
him, 'Let us go back to living modestly as we did at
first. Let us break off all relation with that woman,
and it will shut people's mouths.' He will understand.
He will return to me purified by my silent pardon, by
my delicacy. And it will be all over. How is it I
never had this happy thought before?"
But she had no sooner formulated the "happy
thought" than it seemed to her just one of her usual
romantic ideas—a phantasy on a pleasant walk at sundown,
along the paths of a spring landscape. Life was
a different matter! Reality, naked and ugly, but at
least sincere, was a different matter!—like an ugly
woman who makes no effort to deceive any one. Away,
away with every veil! away with each stained garment!
They must listen to each other; they must rend every
disguise, even if it were generous and of the ideal.
While she was hurriedly weighing these thoughts in
her mind, Antonio interrupted—
"And you knew all this and said nothing? Why
did you say nothing? I can't make it out. Certain
things have become clear—your ill-humour, your hints
and insinuations, your obstinacy in not coming to
Albano. But I cannot comprehend your silence. Ah!
how hideous all this is! Hideous! Hideous!
Certainly the world is malicious; its malice would be
monstrous if it weren't ridiculous! We needn't pay
attention to it! You are right; in a city like Rome,
where anything seems possible, and nobody believes
what is said——"
"No, we must pay attention to it," said Regina;
"just because in a city like Rome anything seems
possible. It mayn't matter so much to me, but suppose
the calumny should reach the ears of my mother, down
there in that corner of a province, where the smallest
things seem gigantic! My mother has had great
sorrows, but none of them could equal this."
"And do you suppose my mother wouldn't care just
as much?" interrupted Antonio, piqued.
"No doubt she would. But it's for you to consider
your mother, I mine! However, it shows you that even
at Rome one must heed the clatter of tongues. If it
were only you and I in face of that clawing animal, the
world, I'd laugh at it. But, my dear, we aren't alone!
Caterina will grow up. And if she were to know——"
At this he gave a cry almost wild.
"If she were to know! But has it been my fault?"
Again Regina felt as if a stone had struck her full in
the face. Yes; if there was fault, it came home to
herself! She was the mother of the evil which was
stifling them. Antonio's cry was one not of defence,
but of accusation.
She rebelled against it.
"I admit," she said, "the fault is not entirely yours.
But neither is it all mine."
"Who's saying the fault is yours?"
"I have said it to myself a thousand times. Antonio,
there is no reproach that I have not made to myself.
How often have I not groaned, 'If I had not
been guilty of that lightness of which I was guilty,
Antonio would not have forced himself to change our
position. He would not have become that woman's
servant, not——'"
"You said it to yourself a thousand times?" he
interrupted. "Do you mean you have been thinking
of this for a long while? Why did you not first speak
to me? Why? Why? That's what I require to
know!"
"Oh, don't get angry again!" prayed Regina.
"Why didn't I tell you? Because I didn't believe it."
"Do you mean you do believe it now? And that
you waited to tell me till exactly now, to-day, at this
moment?"
"I waited for an opportunity——"
"Nonsense! There was no lack of opportunities—worse
ones even than this!"
"I repeat I don't study conventionality. Another
woman would have made a scene, conjured you sentimentally
to swear the truth on the head of our child.
I don't do such things. Once only I was betrayed into
a piece of dramatic nonsense. Once was enough!"
"What has this to do with it?" he said, angrily.
"You could have spoken just as you are speaking now.
Well, speak on. Say again what you said a minute
ago. You said that you reproached yourself a thousand
times as having been the cause of this—calumny.
What did you mean?"
"You aren't listening. I reproached myself for
having involuntarily given birth to this calumny, by
constraining you to become that woman's slave. It was
natural people should be suspicious. They are
suspicious also of men much richer and much less
attractive than you. Madame got rid of the others,
Cavaliere R—— and Signor S——, to make a place
for you. Naturally, those men spoke ill of you.
Probably they started it. However," she continued,
returning to her first point, "remember, Antonio, that
I repented of my caprice. Remember well. I gave up
all my pretensions and follies and came home to you
because I had at last understood that your love was all
I required for happiness."
"You said so, I know. But I didn't believe you.
You said it because you pitied me. I didn't want your
pity, Regina!" he went on, drawing a deep breath, as if
struggling with a sob. "Now it is I who am playing
the sentimental part, saying that you had humiliated
me overmuch because I—had not tried to content you.
Shall I follow your lead and say I am not like other
men? Better or worse—who knows? I don't set up
to be superior, as you do" (his voice shook with angry
grief). "I'll call myself inferior, yes—a little bourgeois!
How often have you not thrown that in my teeth!
But for that very reason——What was I saying?"
Regina, overwhelmed herself by a strange mingling
of grief and contempt, replied ironically—
"You were saying that we are two beings unlike the
rest of the world, a hero and heroine of romance, in fact.
Perhaps some day Gabrie will pick us up, as one picks
mushrooms!"
"At this moment, with your scornful superiority, you
are a poisonous mushroom!"
Regina had been staring straight before her, with
eyes lost in the luminous distance. Now she turned to
look at him, ready to make a bitter reply. But she saw
his face so grey and miserable she did not venture to
speak. What, moreover, could she say? Why continue
vainly to beat about the bush, talking of the
edifice of their error, without daring to penetrate
within it?
Antonio went on—
"Yes, you had humiliated me overmuch! I must
say it to you once straight out. After reading your
letter I would have committed any crime only to free
myself from the insulting weight of your reproaches.
It was driving me mad. It was a degrading accusation
which you had brought against me! And I wanted to
get you back—as much out of pride as passion! To
get you back, not by force, not by love, but by money.
That was my obsession. Money—money at all costs!
So I went and gambled. And I took the post which
I did not particularly admire. I offered myself to
Madame. That was my crime, because now I recognise
that Cavaliere R—— was only doing precisely what
I did myself a little later."
Regina listened and was silent, but she shook her
head. He was lying, still lying. He was accusing
himself of venial errors to make her believe him
innocent of his real sin. Lies—always lies; and
yet——
"I thought you had perhaps repented and would
come home; but by this time I knew you! Your letter,
your manner, had revealed your character. You would
come home to live with me, perhaps resigned, perhaps
not, but certainly unhappy. And I was ready to give
my blood to prevent that! I wanted you happy. I
loved you, Regina, just for your pretensions, which
proved you the delicate, fastidious creature, above me
by birth and by breeding. Who, you say, can know the
dark secrets of his own heart? In a few days I had
become another man. I dared to improve my position.
I succeeded. And now you blame me for what I have
done for you—only for you!"
Regina made no answer. He also kept silence,
perhaps thinking her convinced. They went on a little
way. A light-haired man, dressed like a Protestant
minister, had come up with them, and walked by their
side. Carts, laden with bottles, passed, and carriages
going to Acqua Acetosa.
Regina thought—
"He doesn't want my pity. He was driven mad by
humiliation! I see. Perhaps he thought I should
come home only to torment him, and that presently
I should desert him again. And I am still trying to
persuade myself he is innocent, while he doesn't even
know how to keep up the lie! Yet he has been lying
for two years, every day, every hour, every minute.
How, how has he been able to do it? Well, and wasn't
I brooding over my project of flight secretly for days
and for months? Was not that also treason? And
are we not both lying now? Why all these vain words,
these sous-entendus, if we are not each in turn trying to
deceive the other? What is he thinking at this
moment? What do I know of his soul, or he of mine?
We have always mistaken each other, and we mistake
more than ever at this moment. No, we do not know
each other. We are more of strangers to one another
than to that man passing along at our side. We have
shared our bed and our board, we have a child, part of
ourselves, and yet we are strangers! We are enemies—we
offend each other; each in our turn, we hide that
we may wound deeper!"
"Shall we go back by Ponte Molle, or by the way we
went the last day?" asked Antonio.
"There might be a carriage down there, perhaps?"
said Regina.
"To go back!" she thought, in profound desolation.
"To take up our life of deception and shame! No,
I will not! I will not! It must not go on!"
And at last she felt the courage to bring in the end
that very day.
Her resolution calmed her. She seemed to lift her
head, to open her eyes, to see again round her the
beauties of Nature, the purifier. Just here the road
broadened out. Never had she seen the Campagna so
beautiful, so splendidly and magically coloured. It
seemed a picture by a luminist painter—a green landscape
with detached pines waving against the dazzling
background of crimson and gold, an exaggeration of
light, in whose intensity the figures of the passers-by,
the half-naked vendors of the spa water, the mounted
soldiers, the beggars lying in wait at the cross roads,
stood out like bronze statues.
Regina had taken her resolution, but at the cross
roads it sufficed her to note the angry movement with
which Antonio flung a coin to the beggars to understand
that her husband was still offended, and to revive her
forlorn hope of his innocence.
They took the short cut. Up and down, up and
down by a little path, dark, fragrant, part warm grass,
part sand. The Protestant pastor, who seemed uncertain
of the way, followed them.
The sun was sinking, silver on the gold horizon; over
the flushed grass, the shadows of the pines grew long;
the eastern sky took opaque tones—the ashy violet of
a pastel. For a moment Regina could have believed
herself in the mountains. She could see no more than
the path mounting through grass to the low summit,
all green against the luminous void. Up and up! The
free breath of spring restored the natural colour to
Antonio's face. Spring is intolerant of ugly people.
The countenance of the fair young minister became like
a pink peony, scarcely opened.
But here they were at the low summit, and from it
appeared the azure vision of the real mountains.
That day the picture of the Acqua Acetosa had
a character almost biblical. Men were sleeping on the
grass beside their carts, in which the load of flasks
sparkled in the sun; women, children, many dogs,
a little black donkey, were all so still as to seem painted
on the green background of the Tiber; a line of scarce
distinguishable sheep were coming down to the river to
drink; boats rocked softly among the bushes of the
bank. A soft breeze diffused the perfume of the
flowering elders.
While Antonio and Regina were descending the steps
cut out on the hillside, a carriage arrived laden with
five foreign ladies wearing the usual impossible little
hats made of one ear of corn, a poppy, and a bunch of
gauze. The lady who got out last began a dispute with
the driver.
"Everywhere these horrible foreigners!" said Regina,
nervously, and let Antonio go down to the fountain by
himself.
She made her way to the river-bank, far up beyond
the excise official's hut. He was walking about before
the tavern, and the point to which Regina advanced
remained completely solitary. Low noises reached her,
overpowered by the song of the larks and the music of
a streamlet gurgling at the bottom of a cleft near by.
In the hedge leaves rustled like the frou-frou of silk,
and the elder-flowers, already over-blown but still sweet
and rosy in the sun, leaned forward as if to listen to the
gurgle of the water. Beyond the cleft a mass of greyish
flowers covered the declivity; below the Tiber rolled
on, clear, calm, imperial. The reflection of the setting
sun crossed an angle of the river, making an enormous,
trembling, fiery serpent across the water, which seemed
brought to a halt on its incandescent back. Sparkles
of gold caught fire, went out, and lighted up again,
swiftly, irrepressibly, where the reflection of the sun
terminated. Everything suggested the illusion of a
fight between the water and the raging fire in the
river's depths. Far off, where the sky grew pale, the
water had conquered and was already spreading the
solemn sadness of its ashy calm.
Of course Regina thought of her own distant river.
She sat on the rough grass of the declivity and waited.
Never had she felt quieter and stronger than at that
hour. As over the river so over her soul, ashy calm was
advancing, subduing the vain fire of passion. An old
thought started afresh into her mind.
"Every hour will come. This one has come, and
others, and others are on their way, and at last the hour
of death. Why do we torment ourselves? My life and
Antonio's from henceforth will be like a faded garment;
yes, like this——!" she said, drawing round her feet
the edge of her white but soiled dress. "Well? that
means that we shall wear it more contemptuously, but
also more comfortably, without considering it so much—thus!"
she cried aloud, casting her skirt's hem away
from her, over the rough, sand-covered grass.
She looked if Antonio were coming. For some
moments he had been speaking with the owners of the
five little hats. Then Regina saw him take them down,
down, as far as to one of the boats moored at the bank.
The boatman ran up, spoke with Antonio, and presently
the boat laden with the five little hats was on her way
to Ponte Molle.
Then Antonio looked round for his wife and came to
her with his swift, light step.
"I put them in the boat partly that we might get
their carriage," he said, throwing himself on the grass
at her side. "I hope I haven't made you jealous,
Regina, now you've begun at it!"
His voice was gay; too gay.
"On the contrary, I hope I have done with it," she
said coldly. "If you have no objection, we will speak
further and end the matter."
"Oh, I knew we'd have to go on! Well, speak!"
he said, kicking at a branch of elder. "To begin with,
tell me what were the allusions, the insinuations made
by my cousin—by my relations—by every one, in fact—as
a treat——"
Regina watched the nervous movement of Antonio's
hand. Her eyes had again become sweet, soft, child-like,
but with the sweetness of childish eyes when they
are sad.
"Listen, dear," she began, and her voice also was
sweet but sad; "don't let us fall into scandal-mongering.
If the thing isn't true, what does it matter? If it is
true——"
"If it were true——" he interrupted, raising his
head, while his hand still shook. Regina was silent not
looking up. "What would you do? Would you leave
me again?"
She shrugged her shoulders disdainfully.
"If it is true. Then you are still supposing it! Ah,
that's what I cannot endure, Regina! It means you
don't believe me. It means the malicious words of
some stranger have more value for you than mine!"
She was tempted to reply, "And are not you a
stranger to me?" but dared not yet.
"Yes, yes! I see that's what it is!" he went on,
despairingly. "Now this suspicion has got into your
head, now, now you believe me no longer! But I hope
to cure you, see! I hope. Begin by telling me everything.
You ought to tell me, you ought, do you hear?
It concerns your honour—everybody's honour. Tell
me! tell me!"
She shook her head.
"What is the use?"
"Tell me all," he commanded. "There's a limit to
my patience also!"
"Don't raise your voice, Antonio! The excise officer
is there. Don't be so small!"
"Have done with your own smallness! I am small;
yes, I'm small, and that's just the reason why I want to
know! You see, you are driving me mad! Tell me!
I insist."
Regina turned and looked at him. Her eyes, large
and melancholy, sparkled in the reflection of the sunset.
Never had Antonio seen them more beautiful, sweeter,
deeper. At that moment he was overpowered by some
sort of fascination and could not turn away from those
eyes, burning and sad like the dying sun. Regina
said—
"And when I shall have told you everything you
want to know, what will you do? How will you know,
how do I know, if the things I have heard are or are
not real illusions, evil surmises? or whether the doubt
has not come of my own instinct?"
"But a few minutes ago you said you didn't believe
it! I don't understand you, Regina!"
"And I, do I understand you? Can we understand
each other? Think, Antonio, think. Have we ever
understood each other? How do I know you speak
the truth? How do you know I speak the truth?
Look," she said, stretching her hand towards the
Tiber; "we seem near to each other, while, on the contrary,
we are distant as the banks of this river, which
for ever gaze at each other, but will never come into
touch!"
"For pity's sake, finish it!" he said, bitterly, but
supplicatingly and humbly. "Be merciful, my dear,
and don't torment me. Don't say these horrible things.
It's very possible I don't understand you, but you, you
ought to understand me. Let us discuss, let us see
together what is to be done. I—I will do whatever
you wish. Haven't I always done so? Am I not good
to you? Do you say I am not good to you? Tell me
what I am to do, but don't doubt me! It's the last
straw. If we lose our peace, our concord, what is there
left for us?"
He spoke softly, humbly, almost sweetly, but with
that sweetness one employs towards a sick and fractious
child. He took her hand and laid it on his knee, and
on it he laid his own. Regina felt his hand pulsing and
vibrating, but its fondness no longer had power to stir
her blood.
Yes, it was undeniable. He had always done her
will. He was the weak one, and this was at once his
crime and his defence. Yes, he was kind, too kind.
He had given her in sacrifice not his spirit only, but his
body; this miserable mortal flesh he had sold for her.
He had given her all; he would still give her all. In a
moment, if she demanded it of him, he would confess
his shame. How could she have doubted it? Then
she told him the whole story.
"Listen. One day I went to see Gabrie, who had
been ill——"
CHAPTER VII
She told him all with brief, quiet words. She spoke
softly, her eyes, her fingers, resting on the embroidery of
her dress. She seemed the guilty one, but dignified in
her error, ready to be punished. She told of her doubts,
how they had swelled and flamed. She repeated the
reproaches she had made to herself, described her visions,
her delirious cruelty, her suspicions, the dream, the
presentiment, her intention of pardon.
Meanwhile the sun went down. The golden serpent
withdrew to the shore, following the sparkling veil of
victorious water. The river was divided into two zones—one
of tender violet under the pale heaven of the east,
the other blood-stained beneath the burning west.
But in water and sky the conflict was ended between
the colours and the lights. All was unified and confounded
into one supreme harmony of peace. The
light had re-entered into the shadow; the shadow still
sought the light. The pale water floated into the luminous
zone, and the glowing waves retreated slowly towards
a mysterious distance, beyond the horizon, whither
the human gaze could not follow.
The crowd of grey flowers slept on, motionless on the
declivity. The leaves were silent; everything had
become drowsy, lulled by the simple song of the trickle
in the depth of the miniature abyss.
And in all this harmonious silence, Regina, as she
ended her tale, felt the solemn indifference of nature for
man and for his paltry fortunes.
"We are alone," she concluded, taking suggestion
from this impression of solitude and abandonment; "alone
in the world of our sins, if there is really such a thing
as sin. Let us pity, each in our turn, and renew our
existence. If we are at war, who will help us? Our relations,
our friends, might die for us without their death
bringing our suffering one moment of relief. I once
read of a husband who wished to kill his wife. At the
moment he tried to wound her she—bewildered—flung
herself on his breast, instinctively seeking his protection
against the murderer. How often have not I, in those
days of doubt, while—to my shame—I was spying upon
you, while I was wrestling with the idea of turning to
strangers that I might know—know—how often have I
not felt the impulse to come to you, to pray you to
speak, to save, to protect me! See! Nature herself is
indifferent to us at this moment, while, perhaps, our
whole future is being decided. Every atom, every
sparkle, every wave, runs to its own destiny without
attending to us. We are alone; alone and lost. If we
separate, where shall we go? and, moreover, if we did
wrong, was it not precisely that we might not be
separated?"
"But," said Antonio, with one last attempt at defence,
"you once wished——"
And Regina felt a final touch of impatience. She
was speaking as he ought to have spoken, and was he
still resisting? What did he want?
"There's no good in beginning all over again!" she
cried. "This is enough. It seems to me that already
I am reasoning too much for you to understand that
between you and me there is no longer room for
reproaches."
"Yes, Regina," he sighed; "you reason too much,
and that is what terrifies me!"
His eyes sank. He looked at his hand, raised it, and
let it fall heavily on Regina's, which he had retained
all this while on his knee.
"Why do I reason too much? Why are you terrified?"
"Because if you really believed in my guilt you
would not speak as you are speaking. You speak like
this because you do not believe it—yet——"
She felt her heart beat. He was right! But she
summoned her forces and overcame herself.
"Look at me!" she commanded.
Antonio looked at her. His eyes were veiled in tears.
Then it was true.
Regina had never seen her husband weep, nor had she
ever imagined he could weep.
At that moment, when everything darkened within
her, not in swift passing eclipse, but in unending twilight,
a confused recollection came to her of something
far off—so far off that for years and years it had not
returned to her mind. She saw again a man seated
before a burning hearth. This man crouched, his elbows
on his knees, his face on his hands, and he wept; while
a woman bent over him, her hand laid on his bald head.
The man was her father, the spendthrift; the woman
her patient mother.
Was it a dream? or a reality of her unconscious
infancy, far away, forgotten? She did not know; but
at that moment in the shadow of her soul a light
appeared, rose-red like the reflection of the burning
hearth in that distant picture of human error and of
human pity.
She did not think of laying her hand on her husband's
head as her mother had laid hers on the head of that
father who, perhaps, had been more guilty than Antonio;
but she remembered the serene and beautiful life of
that woman who had fulfilled her cycle as all good
women must fulfil theirs, mid the love of her children
and for their sake. Never had the widow made those
sad memories to weigh upon her children. If they
suffered, as by law of nature all born of woman must
suffer, the memory of her did not add to their grief, but
softened it.
"And I, too," thought Regina, "must fulfil my cycle.
Our child must never know that we have suffered and
have erred."
So she must pardon; more than ever she must pardon!
Like the waters of the river, she must pass silently
towards the light of an horizon beyond the earth,
towards the sea of infinite charity, where the greatest
of human errors is no more than the remembrance of
an extinguished spark.
They came home in the carriage left by the five
foreigners. A tender and transparent twilight had
fallen around and within them. Resigned to the Nostalgia
of a light lost for ever, not joyous nor very sad,
like husband and wife re-united after a long separation,
they clasped each other by the hand, silently promising
to help each other as one helps the blind.
Thus they returned into the circle of the city and of
the past.
It seemed to Regina that a long time, a whole period
of life, had passed since she and her husband had stopped
before the wayside tavern. But, returning, as their
driver pulled up at the same place to light his lamps,
she saw the girl in the pink blouse still sitting by the
inside door, and the couple, light-footed and black
against the background of golden glass, were at their
dancing still.
THE END
Richard Clay & Sons, Limited,
BREAD STREET HILL, E.C., AND
BUNGAY, SUFFOLK.
CHAPMAN AND HALL'S NEW BOOKS
ALFRED RUSSEL WALLACE'S AUTOBIOGRAPHY
MY LIFE: A RECORD OF EVENTS AND OPINIONS. By Alfred Russel Wallace, Author of 'Man's Place in
the Universe,' 'Darwinism,' 'Geographical Distribution of Animals,'
'Natural Selection and Tropical Nature,' 'The Malay Archipelago.'
With numerous Portraits, Illustrations, Facsimile Letters, etc. Two
Vols. Demy 8vo, 25s. net.
It is anticipated that this work will be one of the most important publications
of the autumn season. Besides giving full and extremely interesting details of the
great scientist's early life and education, his first inclination and attraction
towards science, and an anecdotal narrative of his travels on the Amazon and in
the Malay Archipelago, it relates the historic incidents connected with his
association with Darwin, gives full accounts of all the people he met, and a very
particular history of his investigation of Spiritualism and the various controversies
involved by his theories. The book is written in a fascinatingly open and
candid style, and is sure to be widely read.
THE LATEST TRIUMPH OF SCIENCE
THE ORIGIN OF LIFE: Its Physical Basis and
Definition. By J. Butler Burke. With Photographs, Diagrams,
etc. Demy 8vo, 16s. net.
While experimenting at the Cavendish Laboratory, Cambridge, to determine
the effect of radium on sterilised bouillon, Mr. Burke recently found that he
could secure the apparently spontaneous generation of growths, resembling
bacteria, but which were neither bacteria nor crystals. They were termed
"Radiobes." These bodies have since been examined by many eminent men of
science, to whom they appear to be in a critical state between the vegetable and
mineral kingdoms.
This discovery has since been the subject of extensive comment in the
publications of practically every civilised country. It is believed to be of such
importance that by many it is acclaimed to be one of the great scientific
achievements of the age, and no doubt will rank as one of the few supremely
important discoveries for all time.
Mr. Burke has put the results of his investigations and discovery into a book,
and there is little doubt that it will be eagerly looked forward to by the whole
of the scientific world, and its importance cannot be easily estimated.
A NEW WORK BY W. H. MALLOCK
THE RECONSTRUCTION OF BELIEF. By W. H.
Mallock, Author of 'Religion as a Credible Doctrine.' Demy 8vo,
12s. net.
Mr. Mallock's book will appeal to all thinking men and women who are
interested in the subject of Religious Belief, and who care for scholarly discussion
set out in a distinguished style. In his preface he says: "In two volumes
which I have published during the last four years, I have in different ways
attempted the same two things—firstly, to show the futility of the methods
employed by the religious thinkers of to-day, in their attempt to liberate
religion from the negative conclusions of science; and secondly, to point out,
or rather suggest the outlines of a method which, for this purpose, is likely to
prove more profitable. In Religion as a Credible Doctrine, the treatment was
purely argumentative. In The Veil of the Temple the questions dealt with were
exhibited in their relation to the life of every day, and the interests and characters
of people who are anything but professed thinkers: but in both of the volumes
the negative position was dealt with at greater length than the positive. In
the present volume these proportions are reversed. It begins, indeed, with a
short summary which exhibits the strength of the negative arguments, but the
larger part is occupied with the attempted work of construction."
A FASCINATING HISTORICAL MONOGRAPH
WILHELMINA, MARGRAVINE OF BAIREUTH. By
Edith E. Cuthell. With numerous Portraits. Two Vols. Demy
8vo, 21s. net.
This is a romantic story from real history, dealing with a highly talented
woman of the eighteenth century who moved in Continental Courts and founded
the fortunes of the town of Baireuth. It is constructed entirely from fresh
material gathered from documents hitherto unknown, and gives a bright and
spirited picture of Court life on the Continent one hundred years ago.
AN ILLUSTRATED HISTORY OF JAVA
JAVA: FACTS AND FANCIES. By Augusta de Witt.
With 160 Illustrations. Demy 8vo, 14s. net.
A splendidly illustrated volume dealing with all phases of Javanese life,
history, and character. The author adopts a narrative style, avoiding the stolid,
dry-as-dust particulars, and attempts to give a picturesque account of the daily
round of life of the people of Java—their domestic life, manners and customs,
religious beliefs and marriage rites, their sports and amusements, including
their primitive efforts at drama; the book deals fully with the Flora and Fauna
of the country, and the wonderful scenery is charmingly described; whilst the
agricultural and commercial value of the island are adequately insisted upon.
The illustrations are plentiful and attractive, and add immeasurably to the
book's value.
A CHARMING AND STANDARD BOOK ON LACE
THE LACE BOOK. By N. Hudson Moore, Author of 'The
Old China Book,' 'The Old Furniture Book,' etc. With Seventy
Engravings, showing specimens of Lace, or its wear in famous Portraits,
with Border by C. E. Cartwright, and Decorations after
Bodoni. 4to, 21s. net.
This is a handsomely illustrated history of lace from the earliest times. It is
divided into five parts, dealing respectively with the Growth of Lace, Italian
Lace, French and Spanish Laces, and English and Irish Lace. In the introductory
part, the author traces the whole history of lace manufacture in all
countries in an exhaustive manner and gives full details of the different styles
of lace of the various periods.
The illustrations are an important feature in the book. Besides reproductions
of every imaginable style of lace work, there are many illustrations of notable
personages of history wearing robes and garments which exhibit some remarkable
lace of their period.
A REVISED AND ENLARGED EDITION
RUSSIA IN REVOLUTION. By G. H. Perris. With
numerous Illustrations. Demy 8vo, 10s. 6d.
This is a revised edition containing an additional chapter bringing the history of
the tragic events in Russia up to the present date. The book is a valuable and
indispensable one for all who desire to know the position of affairs in Russia, and
how and why they have reached the present crisis. "A plain unvarnished tale,"
says the Standard; "the substantial accuracy of the terrible facts and statistics
marshalled in these pages cannot be seriously challenged."
AN IMPORTANT NEW WORK ON HEREDITY
THE PRINCIPLES OF HEREDITY. By G. Archdall
Reid, Author of 'The Present Evolution of Man,' 'Alcoholism: its
Cause and Cure,' etc. Demy 8vo, 12s. 6d. net.
"A work distinguished alike for incisiveness of diction, originality of thought,
and cogency of argument. It is difficult to controvert any of the main conclusions,
and every medical man should study it carefully."—The Lancet.
"This is a book which no intelligent student of human affairs, whether he be
a biologist or no, can possibly afford to ignore. In knowledge, in style, in
method, in purpose, in logical power, in every necessary or desirable character, it
is a model of what such a treatise should be."—The Outlook.
A NEW BOOK BY THE AUTHOR OF 'HONORIA'S
PATCHWORK'
A COAT OF MANY COLOURS. Woven from Honoria's
Letters to the Best Friend, and Patched with Pieces from a Certain
Note-Book. By the Author of 'Honoria's Patchwork.' With
numerous Illustrations. Crown 8vo, 6s.
Those who admired Honoria's Patchwork, published last year, will be glad
to be again in her delightful company, surrounded by her friends, to be
interested again in her household duties, her cultured conversation and views on
books, pictures, and kindred subjects, and to once more sojourn for a time in her
charming Homemead. A Coat of Many Colours will be found to be as fresh, as
sincere, and as intimately personal as the Patchwork, and will be fully illustrated
by reproductions from charming photographs.
AN EDITION DE LUXE, WITH COLOURED PLATES, OF
THE FIELDS OF FRANCE. By Madame Mary Duclaux
(A. Mary F. Robinson). With Twenty Illustrations in Colour by
W. B. MacDougall. Crown 4to, 21s. net.
It may be justly said that Madame Duclaux's book on rural France has
become a classic. Its interest and value was in no way ephemeral, for in it
Madame Duclaux gives the sense of that wonderful world of out-of-doors which
seems fading from the horizon of the modern town-dweller. "The little book,"
said the Daily Telegraph, "presents a perfect gallery of pictures, a sort of literary
complement to Corot and Millet."
It is a book eminently suited for illustration, and Mr. MacDougall spent a
long period in the districts dealt with in the volume in making a series of artistic
paintings which are reproduced by the best colour process. Unlike many such
books, the paintings were done to illustrate the text and not the text written to
the pictures.
THE WIT AND WISDOM OF DICKENS
THE BOZ BIRTHDAY BOOK. Compiled by J. W. T. Ley,
Secretary of the Dickens Fellowship. Containing an Index to Subjects
and a Portrait of Dickens. Crown 8vo, 3s. 6d. net, cloth; in
leather, 5s. net.
In compiling this Dickens Birthday Book, Mr. Ley's aim has been to combine
usefulness with ornament. That is to say, every quotation expresses some
sentiment on some phase of life, on men or things, and with the aid of the
Subject Index appended, the volume forms a useful reference book of Dickens
quotations. The source is invariably given, and when the sentiment is given
expression to by a character, the name of that character is added. Two quotations
are given for every day in the year, and the book is a compendium of Dickens's
wit, humour, and pathos.
ANDREW LANG ON 'EDWIN DROOD'
THE PUZZLE OF DICKENS'S LAST PLOT. By
Andrew Lang. With Illustrations by Luke Fildes, R.A. Crown
8vo, 2s. 6d. net.
In this book Mr. Andrew Lang attempts to discover the intention of Dickens
as to the "mystery of Edwin Drood," left unsolved by the death of the author. The
question is, was Edwin Drood slain by his uncle, John Jasper, as Jasper himself
certainly believed; and, if Edwin escaped, how did he escape, and how would
Jasper be unaware of his own failure to murder his nephew? There are other
subsidiary puzzles of which solutions are offered.
The original cover of Edwin Drood, with two of Luke Fildes's original
illustrations, are reproduced for the purpose of identifying the portraits and
costumes of the persons in the romance.
NEW 6s. NOVELS BY POPULAR AUTHORS
BY THE AUTHOR OF 'JEMINA,' 'THE OTHER SON,' etc.
OXENDALE. By Ella MacMahon, Author of 'A New
Note,' etc., etc. Crown 8vo, 6s.
BY THE AUTHOR OF 'THE SILVER KEY'
BEGGARS' LUCK. By Nellie K. Blissett, Author of
'Bindweed,' etc. Crown 8vo, 6s.
A FAMOUS ITALIAN NOVEL
NOSTALGIA. By Grazia Deledda, Author of 'Cenere,' etc.
Translated by Helen Hester Colvill.
BY THE AUTHOR OF 'LOVE THE ATONEMENT'
SPIRITUAL ADVENTURES. By Frances Campbell,
Author of 'Two Queenslanders and their Friends.'
BY THE AUTHOR OF 'JOHN WESTACOTT'
THE INSEPARABLES. By James Baker, Author of
'The Gleaming Dawn,' 'Mark Tillotson,' etc.
LONDON: CHAPMAN AND HALL, Ltd.
Transcriber's Notes:
A number of words in this book have both hyphenated and
non-hyphenated variants. For those words, the variant more frequently
used was retained. The book also contains vernacular conversation in
Italian.
Obvious punctuation errors were fixed. Other printing errors,
which were not detected during the revision of the printing process
of the original book, have been corrected.
A Table of Content was added after the author's preface.
The book title was added to the book cover by the transcriber.
The book cover was put in the public domain.