New England Joke Lore

About this eBook

Author

Crandall, Arthur G. (Arthur George), 1858-1935

Title

New England Joke Lore: The Tonic of Yankee Humor

Credits

Produced by Anita Hammond, Wayne Hammond and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images generously made available by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.)

Language

English

LoC Class

PN: Language and Literatures: Literature: General, Criticism, Collections

Subject

New England -- Social life and customs -- Humor

Category

Text

Project Gutenberg

eBook-No. 54409

Release Date

March 21, 2017

Copyright

Public domain in the USA.

Contents

1. 1.New England Joke Lore The Tonic of Yankee Humor BY ARTHUR G. CRANDALL Author of “Optimistic Medicine” PHILADELPHIA F.A. DAVIS COMPANY, Publishers 1922
2. 2.FOREWORD
3. 3.CONTENTS
4. 4.CHAPTER I Showing Some General Characteristics — Overlooked by Tourists — “Year Before Last Winter’s Snow” — The School Master and His Snow Grave — Drifted Roads and the Right of Way — The Post Holes in the Ice — The Man Who Took Comfort at Funerals — The Story of the Field of Oats — The Kitchen Dance “Up the Branch” — The New Maple Sugar Tub — A Yankee Philanthropist — The Butcher Who Was Too Generous
5. 5.CHAPTER II Relating to Certain Conjugal Infelicities — Why Dave Left Home — The Discouraging Matrimonial Experiences of Bill Jordan — Another Tale of a Confiding Husband — “Purty Bur-r-ds” — “Seven Wives and Seven Prisons” — The French-Canadian Who Wanted a “War for the Womens”
6. 6.CHAPTER III Legends of the Eccentric — “You Don’t Have to Yell at Me” — The Story of the Stolen Bundle of Hay — The Raid on Jim Green’s Pork Barrel — How Lote Platt Beat the Thunder Shower — The Tale of the Old-Fashioned “Settle” — The Lost Harrow Teeth — The Story of the Salt Shake — “Better Give Them to Some Poor Boy”
7. 7.CHAPTER IV Family Characteristics and Small Town Life — The Young Man Who Had “Speerit” — The Lady Who Secured a Wardrobe — The Story of “Lafe” and the Livery Stable Man — The Man Who Wanted to Fight a Year Afterward — A Rural “Trademark” — An Early Example of Camouflage — “Noah Built the Ark”
8. 8.CHAPTER V The Yankee Trading Instinct and Some Amusing Examples — The Story of the Eccentric Cow — The Remarkable Incident of the Cart Wheels — The Thrilling Experiences of a Mountain “Doctress” — The Expedient of the Cow Buyer — The History of a Milk Sled
9. 9.CHAPTER VI Domestic Animals and Their Part in Legendary Humor — The Story of a Wandering Sheep — The Young and “Self-Centered” Ram — The Sudden Enlightenment of the Young Pup — A Hen Heroine — The Story of the “Lolling” Horse — The Farmer Who Borrowed the Blind Horse — The Lame Horse That Was Suddenly Cured — The Bird Policeman — The Evicted Swallows — The Proprietary Attitude of the Robins — The Haunted Cat
10. 10.CHAPTER VII Legends of Rural Spooks — The Ghost in the Milk Dairy — The Spook Story of the Runaway Horse — Table Tipping and a Victim — The Story of the Ouija Board — The Unreal Arrival of Uncle Mark — The Locked Door Which Swung Open — The Joke Played on the Hotel Porter — The Pedlar Who Disappeared — The Sudden Discontinuance of the “Spirit Raps” — The Supernatural Illumination
11. 11.CHAPTER VIII Tales of Rural Lawyers and the Courts — The Litigating Horse Dealer — The Attorney Who Scorned Divorce Business — The Murderer Who Was Not There That Day — A Celebrated Arson Case — The Attorney Who Justified “Assault and Battery” — The Lawyer Who Was Going to “Get Over It” — The Story of the Wily Bank Robber — The Legend of the Pine Tree — The Man Who Wanted to be “Sociable”
12. 12.CHAPTER IX Some Experiences of the Yankee Traveling Salesman — The Hopeful Young Beginner — The Sick Engineer in the Next Room — What Happened in the Hotel Barber Shop — The Salesman Who Was Given a “Warm Room” — Story of the Itemized Expense Account — “Two Barrels” — The Old Man Who Was Inveigled Into a Poker Game
13. 13.CHAPTER X Traditions of the Rural Church — The Story of the “Raised” Biscuits — The Small Boy Who Scandalized the Congregation — The “Driveling Idiot” — The Love-Cracked Suicide — “There is a Lion in the Way” — The Man Who Borrowed “Arabian Nights” from a Christian Woman — The Woman Who Was Not Going to be a Pack Horse — The Enterprising Deacon Who Proposed at the Grave
14. 14.CHAPTER XI Tales of Rural Thrift — The Old Friend and the Load of Hay — The Man Who Worked a Confidence Game on His Cows — “Stew ’Er Down” — “Never Mind, I Can Cut It” — The Empty Flour Barrel — The Town Pauper Who Made an Epigram — The Conscientious Neighbor Who Ran An Account — The Thrifty Man Who “Swore Off” Using Tobacco
15. 15.CHAPTER XII Cheerful Tales of Neighborly Intercourse — “Am I Ben Jackson, or Am I Not?” — “The Farther You Go the Better They Are” — “Say, Put the Doctor Ahead” — The Scrambled Eggs in the Highway — The Story of the Rebellious Horse — What Happened to the Junk Man — What Happened to Another Junk Dealer — The Inquisitive Man by the Roadside — The Misfortunes of Mr. Foley
16. 16.CHAPTER XIII Sad Tales of Pre-Prohibition Days. — The Return of a War Hero — The Motorist Who Was Good to Antoine — The Tale of a Rescued Keg of Whiskey — The Prohibition Whale Oil — The Righteous Wrath of “Marm” Hooker — “Poor Kelly Took the Rest”
17. 17.CHAPTER XIV Tales of the Farm Hired Man — The Hand Mowers at Murray’s — The Sporting Venture of the Country Editor — “I’ve Found the Spring” — The Expert Who Repaired the Fences — The Man Who “Arrived In a Great Hurry” — “Where’s Hadlock?” — A French-Canadian Version of Employers’ Liability Insurance

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