Fever.
For more than two uneventful years Madelon remained in the
convent; but early in the third spring after her arrival, a
low fever broke out, which for the time completely disturbed
the peaceful, even current of existence there, and, by its
results, altered, as it happened, the whole course of her own
life.
She was between twelve and thirteen then, and had grown into a
slim little maiden, rather tall for her age, with a little
pale face as in old days, but with her wavy brown hair all
braided now, and fastened in long plaits round her head. In
these two years she has become somewhat reconciled to her
convent life; not, indeed, as a permanent arrangement—it never
occurred to her to regard it in that light—but as something
that must be endured till a new future should open out before
her. She learns her lessons, sings in the chapel, knows
something of compote-making, and can embroider with skilful
little fingers almost after Soeur Lucie's own heart. She still
holds aloof from her companions, turning to Soeur Lucie for
society, though rather with the feeling of the simple-hearted
little nun being bon camarade, than with any deeper sentiment
of friendship or respect. She is rarely en penitence now; the
vehement little spirit seems laid; and if something of her old
spring and energy have gone with it, if she is sometimes sad,
and almost always quiet, there is no one to note it much, or
to heed the change that has apparently come over her. And yet
Madelon was in truth little altered, and was scarcely less of
a child than when Graham had brought her to the convent. She
had learned a variety of things, it is true; she could have
named all the principal cities in Europe now; and though she
still stumbled over the kings of France, her multiplication-
table was unexceptionable; but her education had been one of
acquisition rather than of development. Her mind had not yet
had time to assimilate itself with those around her, nor to
become reconciled to the life that was so at variance with all
her old traditions; and she maintained a nucleus, as it were,
of independent thought, which no mere extraneous influences or
knowledge could affect. In the total silence imposed upon
herself, and those around her, concerning her past life, there
had been no possibility of modifying her ideas on that
subject, and they were still at the same point as when she
entered the convent. She still clung to her father's memory,
with all the passionate love of which her ardent little soul
was capable; she still believed in his perfection, and held to
her recollections of the old days with a strength and tenacity
only enhanced by the contrast which her present life daily
forced upon her. The past lived in her memory as a bright,
changeful dream, varying from one pleasure to another, with an
ever-shifting background of fair, foreign towns and cities,
Kursaals, palaces, salons, gardens, mountains, and lakes, and
quiet green nooks of country—all, as it seemed to her, with
the power of generalization that seizes on the most salient
points, and takes them as types of the whole, shining in
sunlight that never clouded, under clear blue skies that never
darkened. Madelon knew that that time had gone by for ever;
and yet, in all her dreams for the future, her imagination
never went beyond a repetition of it all—only for her father
she, perhaps, substituted Monsieur Horace: for Monsieur
Horace, we may be sure, was not forgotten, any more than her
promise to him; though, indeed, this last had been so long in
abeyance that she had ceased to think of it as likely to be
speedily fulfilled. She had almost come to regard it as one of
the many things referred to that somewhat vague period when
she should be grown up, and when, in some way—how she did not
know—she would be released from the convent and from Aunt
Therese, and be at liberty to come and go as she pleased. In
the meantime she had almost given up hoping for Monsieur
Horace's return. The time when she had last seen him and heard
from him already seemed so remote to her childish memory. No
one ever spoke to her about him, and he never wrote to her.
She did not for a moment think he had forgotten her; she had
too much confidence in him for that; but by degrees a notion,
vague at first, but gradually becoming a fixed idea destined
to have results, established itself in foolish little
Madelon's head, that he was waiting till he should hear from
her that his fortune was made before he would come back to
her. Madelon would get quite unhappy when she thought of this—
he must think her so faithless and forgetful, yet how could
she help it? That the promise had made as deep an impression
upon him as upon her she never doubted for a moment; and was
it not most possible, and even probable, that he was expecting
to hear of the result, perhaps even in want of this wonderful
fortune, on which he must be counting? It was a sad thought,
this, to our Madelon, but gradually it became a confirmed one
in her mind.
How long this state of things would have lasted—whether, with
the fading of childish impressions, present abiding influences
might have taken possession of her, whether, some few years
hence, some sudden development of her devotional tendencies
might have roused her latent powers of enthusiasm, and turned
them in a new direction just at the moment when youthful
ardour is most readily kindled, and tender, fervent hearts
most easily touched—whether, in such a case, our little
Madelon, inspired with new beliefs, would have renounced her
old life in the fervour of her acceptance of the new, and,
after all, have taken the nun's vows, and been content to
allow her native energy and earnestness to find scope in the
loftiest aspirations of a convent life—all this can never now
be known. Something there was in her character which, under
certain conditions, might have developed in such a direction.
The time might, indeed, surely would have come, had she
remained in the convent, when a sudden need and hunger for
sympathy, and perhaps excitement, would have risen in her
soul, too keen and imperative to be satisfied with past
memories; and when, in the absence of all support and
friendship in the outer world, she might have seized on
whatever she could find in the narrow circle in which she
moved, to still that imperious craving. Not in vain, then,
might have appeared those old dreams and visions in Florence
long ago. Madelon might have learnt to find in them a new and
deep significance, an interpretation in accordance with her
latest teaching, and through the dim years they might have
come back to her—prophetic warnings, as she might have been
taught to consider them—linking themselves with present
influences, to urge her on to one course. Her father's last
command, her own promises, sacred as she held them now, might
have availed nothing then, against what she might have been
taught to consider a voice from on high, a call of more than
earthly authority.
Such, we say, might have been the turn things would have taken
with Madelon, had the uninterrupted, monotonous convent life
continued to be hers. But long before her mind was prepared
for any such influences, early in the third year after her
father's death, certain events occurred, which brought this
period of her history to an abrupt close.
How, or why the fever broke out—whether it was the result of a
damp, unhealthy winter, or through infection brought by one of
the school-children, or from any other obvious cause, we need
not inquire here. It first showed itself about the middle of
February, and within a fortnight half the nuns had taken it,
the school was broken up, and the whole convent turned into a
hospital for the sick and dying.
Two of the sisters died within the first week or two; one was
very old, so old, indeed, that the fever seemed to be only the
decisive touch needed to extinguish the feeble life, that had
been uncertainly wavering for months previously; the other was
younger, and much beloved. And then came a sense as of some
general great calamity, a sort of awe-struck mourning, with
which real grief had, perhaps, little to do. The Superior
herself had been struck with the fever, and in three days she
was dead. Her vigils, her fastings, the wearying abnegations
of her stern, hard life had left her little strength for
struggling against the disease when it laid hold of her at
last, and so she too died in her cell one cold, bleak March
morning, with a hushed sisterhood gathered round her death-
bed, and gazing on it, as on that of a departing saint. Little
beloved, but much revered, Therese Linders also had got that
she had laboured for, and was now gone to prove the worth of
it; that which she had valued most in her narrow world had
been awarded her to the full—much honour, but small affection;
much glorification to her memory as to one of surpassing
sanctity, few tears of tender or regretful recollection. She
had had a strange, loveless life, with a certain pathos in it
too, as in the life of every human being, if looked at aright.
Not always, one may imagine, had such cold, relentless
pietism, such harsh indifference possessed her. She lies there
now, still and silent for evermore on earth, a crucifix
between her hands, tapers burning at her head and feet, with
the hard lines fixed on her cold grey face; and yet she also
had been a little, soft, round child, with yearnings too, like
other children, for a mother's kisses and a mother's love. "Go
away, Adolphe, you are very naughty, and I do not love you;
mamma always kisses you, and she never, never kisses me!" This
little speech, uttered by our poor saintly Superior when she
was but eight years old, may perhaps give the key to much in
her after life; and if we cannot, with an admiring sisterhood,
henceforth count this unhappy, soured woman in our catalogue
of saints, we will at least grant her a place amongst the
great company of "might-have-beens," most inscrutable problems
in this puzzling life of ours, and so bid her a not unkindly
farewell.
Madelon, meanwhile, knew nothing of these things; she had
taken the fever also, and while death was busy in other parts
of the convent, she lay unconscious in her little cell,
tossing in delirium, or lying in feverish stupor, with Soeur
Lucie coming softly in and out. In this desolated overworked
household, the child had come to be considered as only another
item of trouble, hardly of anxiety; for her life or death just
then was felt to be of the very smallest consequence to any
one. The one tie that had bound her to the convent had been
snapped by her aunt's death; if she lives, think the nuns—if
indeed they find time to think of her at all—she is a burthen
on our hands; if she dies, well then, one more coffin and
another grave. This is perhaps the ebb-tide of Madelon's
importance in the world; never before has been, never again
will be, we may trust, her existence of so little moment to
any human being—that existence which, meanwhile, in spite of
all such indifference, in perfect unconsciousness of it
indeed, is beginning to assert itself again. For though the
Superior had died amidst lamentations, and the places of Soeurs
Eulalie and Marguerite will know them no more, our little
Madelon, over whom there are none to lament or rejoice, will
live.
One afternoon she awoke, as from a long sleep. The low sun was
shining into the cell, lighting up the wooden crucifix on the
white-washed wall; Soeur Lucie, in her strait coif and long
black veil, was sitting by the bedside reading her book of
hours; through the window could be seen a strip of blue sky
crossed by some budding tree in the convent garden, little
birds were beginning to chirp and twitter amongst the
branches. The spring had come in these last days whilst
Madelon had been lying there, and in the midst of the glad
resurrection of all nature, she too was stirring and awakening
to consciousness, and a new life.
Madelon overhears a Conversation.
Amidst the springing flowers, the twitter of pairing birds,
and the bursting of green leaves through the brown, downy
husks, in the bounteous April weather, Madelon began to
recover rapidly. She was nursed with kindness and care, if not
exactly with tenderness, by Soeur Lucie; but tenderness our
little black sheep had long since learnt not to expect in the
convent, and she hardly missed it now. It was in the first
days of her convalescence that she heard of the death of her
aunt Therese, through some chance remark of one of the Sisters
who came into her cell. Had it not been for this, they would
have kept it from her longer; but the news scarcely affected
her at all. Her aunt had shown her no affection in these last
two years that they had lived under the same roof, and, on the
few occasions on which Madelon had come in contact with her,
the pale, cold face, and severe manner of the nun had inspired
her niece with a dread, which only lacked opportunity to
become a more active dislike. She heard the news then with
apathy, and was still too languid and weak to think of the
loss in reference to herself, or to realise that, so far as
she knew, she had now no relation in the world. Nor did such
realization come at once, even when she grew stronger; her
aunt had counted for so little in her present mode of life,
that it did not occur to her that her death might bring any
possible change into it; indeed, as we have said, she had
ceased to look for any immediate change. Monsieur Horace had
brought her to the convent, and Soeur Lucie took care of her
there, and so she supposed matters would go on for the
present.
If, however, the news of her aunt's death affected her but
little, it was quite otherwise with another conversation that
she overheard a few days later, and which, indeed, was not
meant for her ears either. She had awakened one evening from a
long, sound sleep, and was lying quietly in the dusk, dreamily
wondering how soon she should make up her mind to arouse
herself and take the medicine that she knew awaited her as
soon as she should declare herself awake, when Soeur Ursule
entered the room. She had come with some message to Soeur
Lucie, and when it was delivered, stood chatting a few minutes
by the window where Soeur Lucie sat knitting. She was a gaunt,
brisk, elderly woman, who had been governess in a large
school, before an opportune legacy had enabled her to fulfil
her dearest wish and enter the convent, where, with fresh zeal
and energy, she resumed the duties most congenial to her, as
teacher and superintendent of the school. Thoroughly devout
and conscientious, and with a kind heart au fond, she
nevertheless brought with her into her new sphere all the
habits and modes of thought acquired during a long struggle
with a very hard, secular world—a practical turn of mind,
verging on hardness, a dictatorial manner, a certain opinion-
activeness, which still showed itself now and then in oddest
contrast with the habitual submission demanded of a nun.
"She looks better this evening," she said now, nodding towards
the bed where Madelon lay with her eyes still closed.
"Yes, yes, she is getting on; I shall have her up to-morrow, I
hope," answered Soeur Lucie, with some natural pride in this
specimen of successful nursing.
"Ah, well—she could have been better spared though, than some
that are gone," answered the other; "but no doubt it is all
for the best. Not but that I am glad that the child is
recovering—still we shall certainly find her a great burthen
on our hands."
"It is true, then," cried Soeur Lucie, "what I heard Soeur Marie
saying—that our sainted mother had bequeathed her to the care
of the convent, and left directions that she is to take the
veil as soon as she is old enough."
"Yes, it is true enough, and, as I was saying, all is no doubt
for the best; otherwise it is really a great charge for us to
have a child of that age on our hands to bring up."
"But that was just my case," replied Soeur Lucie simply. "I
have not been out of the convent for more than six months
since I was ten years old, as you know, Soeur Ursule."
"You, ma Soeur! That was quite a different matter; every one
knows what a marked vocation you had even in your childhood,
and how willingly you devoted your fortune, and resigned all
worldly hopes—whereas this little one has always been the most
tiresome child in the class, and, moreover, will have to live
at the expense of the convent."
"That is true," said Soeur Lucie reflecting; "I never heard
that she had any money, and of course people cannot live for
nothing."
"She has not a sou—you may depend upon it," said Soeur Ursule
emphatically; "she brought nothing with her when she came."
"Nothing!" cried Soeur Lucie.
"Or so little, that it must all be gone by this time. I really
do not see how it can be arranged—Soeurs Marie and Catherine
settled it with our late sainted Superior, and I think even
they are beginning to repent a little, for they were talking
only this morning of all the expense we have had lately."
"Poor child," murmured Soeur Lucie, who had no unkindly
feelings towards her little charge, "there is surely enough
for one more."
"That is all very well, ma Soeur, but an extra person is an
extra person, as we all know. We might keep the child for a
time out of charity, but when there is a question of her
taking the vows, and living here always, it is another matter
altogether. It has not been the custom in our house to receive
sisters without dots, and it will never do—never; but of
course our sainted mother knew best, and my opinion was not
asked, though it might have been as well worth having as that
of some others."
"Poor child," said good little Soeur Lucie again, looking
towards the bed; "and she has improved very much lately, don't
you think so, ma Soeur?"
"Oh, yes, she has improved, no doubt; it would be astonishing
if she had not, after being here more than two years; but that
is not the question. However, I must be going," she added, "I
have a hundred things to do before vespers. And the border for
that altar-cloth will be ready by the end of the month, you
think?"
"I hope so," answered Soeur Lucie. "Madelon shall help me as
soon as she is strong enough again; she can embroider quite
nicely now."
"So much the better; she will have to do plenty by-and-by, and
make herself useful if she is to stay here."
Soeur Ursule left the room as she spoke, and Soeur Lucie, with
her knitting in her lap, sat meditating in the darkness.
Presently a restless movement in the bed roused her. "Are you
awake, Madelon?" she said softly.
No answer, only another toss, and a sort of long sigh. Soeur
Lucie rose, lighted a candle, measured out some medicine, and
then with the glass in one hand, and the light in the other,
she came to the bedside. Madelon was lying with her back
towards her, her arms flung over her head, her face buried in
the pillow. She did not move, and Soeur Lucie touched her
gently.
"It is time to take your medicine, mon enfant," she said.
Madelon turned round then, and taking the glass, drank off the
contents without a word; as she gave it back to the nun,
something in her face or expression, fairly startled the
little sister.
"Why, whatever is the matter, mon enfant?" she cried, "you
must have been dreaming, I think."
"No, I have not been dreaming," answered Madelon; and then, as
the nun turned away to put the glass and candle on the table,
she caught hold of her gown with all the strength of which her
feeble fingers were capable.
"Don't go, please don't go, Soeur Lucie," she said, "I want to
speak to you."
"In a moment; I am not going," answered the sister. "Well,
what is it, ma petite?" she added, coming back to the bedside.
"What—what was it Soeur Ursule was saying to you just now?"
asks Madelon.
"Just now!" cried Soeur Lucie, taken aback; "why, I thought you
were asleep."
"No, I was not asleep," Madelon answered, "I only had my eyes
shut."
"But that is very naughty, mon enfant, to pretend to be asleep
when you are awake."
"I didn't pretend," said Madelon aggrieved, "only I hadn't
opened my eyes, and I could not help hearing what you said."
"Ah well, if you heard, there is no use in my telling you,"
says Soeur Lucie, who was not at all above using that
imperfect, but irrefragable, logic familiar to us from our
nurseries; "so you had better go to sleep again, for I cannot
stop here any longer. Let me smoothe your pillow."
"No," said Madelon, escaping from her hands with an impatient
toss. "Ah, don't go away yet," she added piteously. "Was it
true what Soeur Ursule said about me?"
"About you, mon enfant?"
"Yes, about me—that I was to become a nun."
"Ah!" said Soeur Lucie, with the air of being suddenly
enlightened, "yes—yes, I suppose so, since she said it. Now I
must go, and do you go to sleep."
"No, no," cried Madelon, raising herself in the bed and
stretching out both arms after Soeur Lucie's retreating figure.
"Ah, Soeur Lucie, don't leave me. I can't be a nun; don't let
them make me a nun!"
There was something so pitiful and beseeching in her accent,
something so frail-looking in the little, white, imploring
hands, that Soeur Lucie's heart was touched. She came back
again.
"Ecoute, Madelon," she said, "you will be ill again to-morrow
if you talk so much; lie down now, and tell me what it is you
want. No one is going to make you a nun now, you know."
"No, not now, but by-and-by. Is it true that Aunt Therese said
I was to be made one?"
"Yes, that is true enough, I believe; but there is nothing to
be unhappy about in that," answered Soeur Lucie, who naturally
looked at things from a different point of view than
Madelon's. "There are many girls who would be glad of such a
chance; for you see, mon enfant, it is only because nothing
could be refused to our late sainted Superior, that it has
been arranged at all."
"Soeur Ursule said I should be a burthen," answered Madelon. "I
don't want to be a burthen; I only want to go away. Ah! why do
you keep me? I am miserable here; I always have been, and I
always shall be—always."
"But that is foolish," replied Soeur Lucie, "for you will be
very happy—far happier than you could ever be out in the
world, ma petite; it is full of snares, and temptations, and
wickedness, that never can come near us here. Look at me; I
was no older than you when I first came here, and never has
girl been happier, I believe. No, no, Madelon," she went on,
with a good-natured wish to make things pleasant, "you will
stay with us, and be our child, and we will take care of you."
"I don't want you to take care of me!" cries Madelon, the
burning tears starting painfully to her eyes. "I hate
convents, and I hate nuns, and it is wicked and cruel to keep
me here!"
"Am I cruel and wicked? Do you hate me?" said Soeur Lucie,
rather aggrieved in her turn.
"No, no," cried Madelon, with compunction, and throwing her
arms round Soeur Lucie's neck; "you are very kind, Soeur Lucie,
and you won't let them make me a nun, will you? You will tell
them all that I should be miserable—ah! I should die, I know I
should!"
"Well, well, we will not talk about it any more to-night. As
for me, I have nothing to do with it—nothing; but I cannot
have you make yourself ill with chattering; so now let me put
your pillow straight, and then you must go to sleep as fast as
you can."
With a final shake of the pillow and arrangement of the bed-
clothes, Soeur Lucie went away, leaving Madelon, not to sleep,
but to lie broad awake, framing the most dismal little
pictures of the future. And was this to be the end of it all,
then?—the end of her vague dreams, her undefined hopes, which,
leaping over a dim space of intervening years, had rested on a
future of indefinite brightness lying somewhere outside these
convent walls? Ah, was all indeed at an end? Never to pass
these dull walls again, never to see anything but these dreary
rooms,—all her life to be one unvarying, relentless routine,
day after day, year after year—to be forced to teach stupid
children, like Soeur Ursule, or to make jam and embroider
alter-cloths, like Soeur Lucie, to say such long prayers, and
to wear such ugly dresses, thinks poor Madelon, with a queer
jumble of the duties and obligations of a nun's life. Ah! what
would be the use of getting well and strong again, if that
were all that life had in store for her? "Why did I not die?"
thinks the poor child, tossing restlessly from side to side.
"I wish I was dead! Ah! why did I not die? I wish I had never
been born!" To her, as to all inexperienced minds, life
appeared as a series of arbitrary events, rather than as a
chain of dependent circumstances ceaselessly modifying each
other, and she could not conceive the possibility of any
gradual change of position being brought about in the slow
course of years. The long succession of grey, weary days,
which she had lately taught herself to consider as a path that
must be traversed, but which would still lead ultimately to a
future of most supreme happiness, suddenly seemed to terminate
in a grave black as death itself, from which there could be no
escape. "If papa were here," thinks Madelon, "he would never
allow it; he would never leave me in this horrible place, he
would take me away. Oh! papa, papa, why did you die?" And
burying her face in the pillow, she began to sob and cry in
her weakness and despair.
But this last thought of her father had suggested a new set of
ideas and memories to Madelon, and by-and-by she stopped
crying, and began to think again, confusedly at first, but
presently with a more definite purpose gradually forming
itself in the darkness of her bewildered thoughts. Has she not
promised her father never to become a nun? Perhaps he had
thought of something like this happening, and that was why he
had made her promise, and of course she must keep her word.
But how is she to do that? wonders Madelon. If Monsieur Horace
were here, indeed, he might help her. Ah, if Monsieur Horace
was but here! Should she write to him, and tell him how
unhappy she was, and ask him to come and take her away? He had
given her his English address, and told her to be sure and let
him know, if she were in any trouble, or wanted any help. "But
then," thinks our foolish little Madelon, with the most
quixotic notions busy in her tired little brain, "I have not
done what I said I would, and he will think, perhaps, I want
to break my word." Alas, must that grand surprise that was to
have been prepared for him, all those fine schemes, and plans,
and projects, must they all fall to the ground? Was she never,
never to show him how much she loved him? And yet, if they
made her a nun, how could she do it all? He would never have
his fortune made then, though she had promised to do it, and
he would think she had forgotten him, and cared nothing about
him. So wearily did Madelon's mind revolve, dwelling most of
all on that promise made so long ago; and as she realized the
possibility of her never being able to fulfil it at all, she
became possessed with a feverish desire to get up that very
moment and set about it. If—if—ah, supposing she were to run
away—Aunt Therese is not here now, and she would not be afraid
of the other nuns finding her, she would hide herself too well
for that—supposing she were to run away, go to Spa, make the
fortune, and then write to Monsieur Horace? Would not that be
an idea?
When Soeur Lucie came in an hour later, to look after Madelon,
she found her fast asleep; the traces of tears were still on
her cheeks, and the pillow and bedclothes were all disarranged
and tossed about again, but she was lying quite quietly now.
Soeur Lucie stood for a moment, looking down upon the child's
white face, that had grown so small and thin. Her hair had
been all cut off during her illness, and curled in soft brown
rings all over her head, as when she was a little child, and
indeed there was something most childlike in the peaceful
little face, which had a look of repose that it seldom wore
when the wistful brown eyes were open, with their expression
of always longing and seeking for something beyond their ken.
Somehow Soeur Lucie was touched with a sudden feeling of
unwonted tenderness for her little charge. "Pauvre petite,"
she murmured, gently raising one hand that hung over the side
of the bed, and smoothing back a stray lock of hair. Madelon
opened her eyes for a moment; "Monsieur Horace," she said, "I
have not forgotten, I—I will——" and then she turned away and
fell sound asleep again.
The Red Silk Purse.
It was about three weeks later, that Madelon was sitting one
evening at her bed-room window; it was open, and the breeze
blew in pleasantly, bringing with it the faint scent of early
roses and lingering violets. In the garden below, lengthening
shadows fell across the cherished centre square of grass, the
trees were all golden-green in the western sunlight; black-
veiled Sisters were walking about breaking the stillness with
their voices and laughter; along the convent wall the vines
were shooting and spreading their long tender sprays, and on
the opposite side a great westeria was shedding showers of
lilac blossoms with every breath of wind amongst the shrubs
and evergreens below.
Madelon, sitting forward on her chair, her chin propped on her
hands, her embroidery lying in her lap, saw and heeded none of
these things; her eyes were fixed dreamily on the sky, but her
thoughts were by no means dreamy, very intent rather upon one
idea which she was endeavouring to rescue from the region of
dreams and vagueness, and set before her with a distinctness
that should ensure a practical result. This idea, which indeed
was no new one, but simply that of running away from the
convent, which had first occurred to her three weeks before,
had presented itself with more assurance to her mind during
every day of her convalescence; and now that she was nearly
well again, it was fast becoming an unalterable resolution.
There were difficulties in the way—she was considering them
now—but she knew she should be able to overcome them; we say
advisedly; she knew it, for the child already recognized in
herself an unwavering strength of mind and purpose, which
assured her that no foreseen obstacles could stand between her
and any fixed end that she proposed to herself; as for
unforeseen ones—our small-experienced Madelon did not take
them into account at all.
It was not that she was a prodigy compounded of nothing but
firmness, and resolution, and obstinacy, this little slender
girl, who sat there in the evening sunlight, puzzling out her
plan; there were plenty of weak points in her character, which
would perhaps make themselves sufficiently apparent in years
to come. But these at least she possessed—a persistency of
purpose in whatever she undertook, on which she could
confidently rely, and a certain courage and independence that
promised to carry her successfully through all difficulties;
and these things are, I think, as the charmed cakes that the
Princess carried to the enchanted castle, and wherewith she
tamed the great lions that tried to oppose her entrance.
Madelon sees before her a very fair enchanted castle, lying
outside these convent walls—even something like a Prince to
rescue—and she will not fail to provide herself with such
charms as lie within her reach, to appease any possible
menagerie that may be lying between her and it.
She had already sketched out a little scheme whereby she might
redeem the two promises which, lying latent in her mind for
these two years past, had suddenly sprung into such abnormal
activity, and, in the limited circle of her small past,
present and future, monopolized at once her memories, and
energies, and hopes. She must get out of the convent—that was
evidently the first thing to be done; and this safely
accomplished, the path of action seemed tolerably clear. She
would make her way to Spa, which, as she well knew, was not
far off, and go to an hotel there, which her father had
frequented a good deal, and where there was a good-natured
landlady, who had always petted and made much of the little
lonely child, once at Spa— but here Madelon's plans assumed a
bright and dazzling aspect, which, undimmed by any prophetic
mist, unshaded by any foreboding cloud, almost deprived them
of that distinctness so requisite for their calm and impartial
consideration. All the difficulties seemed to lie on the road
between the convent and the Redoute at Spa; once there, there
could be no doubt but that this fortune, which she was pledged
in her poor little foolish idea to obtain, would be made in no
time at all. She could perfectly figure to herself the piles
of notes and gold that would flow in upon her; and how she
would then write to Monsieur Horace at the address he had
given her; and then Madelon had in her own mind a distinct
little picture of herself, pouring out a bag of gold at
Monsieur Horace's feet, with a little discourse, which there
was still time enough to compose!
But it could not be denied that there were two formidable
obstacles standing between her and this so brilliant
consummation; first, that she was not yet out of the convent,
and that there was no perfectly obvious means of getting out;
secondly, that she had no money. The former of these
objections did not, however, appear absolutely insurmountable.
Just beneath her window the wall was covered with a tangle of
vines, and jessamine, and climbing roses; to a slim active
child, with an unalterable purpose, the descent of even twenty
feet of wall with so much friendly assistance might have
seemed not unfeasible; but, in fact, Madelon's window was
raised hardly ten feet above the flower-bed below. Once in the
garden, there was, as in most old garden walls, a corner where
certain displaced bricks would afford a sufficient footing,
aided by the wide-spreading branches of the great westeria,
and the tough shoots of clinging ivy. The wall was not high;
what might be its aspect on the other side she was not
certain, though she had an unpleasant haunting memory of a
smooth, white-washed surface; but once on the top, it would be
hard indeed if she could not get down; and then, as she knew,
there was only a field to be crossed, and she would find
herself in the highroad leading from Liege to Chaudfontaine,
and so through Pepinster to Spa. No, getting out of the
convent was not the difficulty. It would be easier, certainly,
if one could walk out at the front door; but this being a
possibility not to be calculated upon, two walls should not
stand in the way. The real problem, of which even Madelon's
sanguine mind saw no present solution, was how to get on
without money, or rather how to procure any. She had none, not
even a centime, and she was well aware that her fortune could
in no wise be procured without some small invested capital:
and besides, how was she to get to Spa at all without money?
Could she walk there? Her ideas of the actual distance were
too vague for her to make such a plan with any certainty; and
besides, the chances of her discovery and capture by the nuns
(chances too horribly unpleasing, and involving too many
unknown consequences for Madelon to contemplate them with
anything but a shudder), would be multiplied indefinitely by
so slow a method of proceeding. Certainly this question of
money was a serious one, and it was this that Madelon was
revolving, as she sat gazing at the golden sunset sky, when
she was startled by a sudden rumbling and tumbling in the
corridor; in another moment the door was burst open, and Soeur
Lucie and another sister appeared, dragging between them a
corded trunk, of the most secular appearance, which had
apparently seen many places, for it was pasted all over with
half-effaced addresses and illustrated hotel advertisements.
Madelon gave a little cry and sprang forward; she knew the box
well, and had brought it with her to Liege, but had never seen
it since then till to-day. It was like a little bit of her
former life suddenly revived, and rescued from the past years
with which so much was buried.
"This is yours apparently, Madeleine," said Soeur Lucie, her
broad, good-humoured face illumined with a smile at the
child's eagerness; "the sight of it has done you good, I
think; it is long since you have looked so gay."
"Yes, it is mine," cried Madelon; "where had it been all this
time, Soeur Lucie?"
"Soeur Marie and I were clearing out a room downstairs, and we
found it pushed away in a corner, so we thought we had better
bring it up for you to see what was in it."
"I know," said Madelon, "it was a trunk of mamma's; there are
some things of hers put away in it, I think. I never saw them,
for we did not take it about with us everywhere; but I brought
it with me from Paris, and I suppose Aunt Therese put it
away."
"Our sainted Superior doubtless knew best," said Soeur Lucie,
with a ready faith, which was capable, however, of adjusting
itself to meet altered circumstances, "but we are clearing out
that room below, which we think of turning into another store-
room; we have not half space enough for our confitures as it
is, and another large order has arrived to-day. And so,
Madeleine, we had better see of there is anything in the box
you wish to keep, and then it can be sent away. We shall
perhaps find some clothes that can be altered for you."
"Yes," said Madelon, on whom, in spite of her new schemes and
resolutions, that little sentence about sending the box away
had a chilling effect; it was like cutting off another link
between her and the world. Soeur Lucie went down on her knees
and began to uncord the trunk.
"Here is the key tied to it," she said; "now we shall see."
She raised the lid as she spoke, but at that moment a bell
began to ring.
"That is for vespers," she cried, "we must go; Madeleine, in a
few days you will be able to come to the chapel again; to-
night you can stay and take out these things. Ah, just as I
thought—there are clothes," she added, taking a hurried peep,
and then followed Soeur Marie out of the room.
Madelon approached the box with a certain awe mixed with her
curiosity. It was quite true that she had never seen what it
contained; she only knew that it had been her mother's, and
that various articles belonging to her had been put away in it
after her death. It had never been opened since, to her
knowledge; her father had once told her that she might have
the contents one day when she was a big girl, but that was all
she knew about it.
Madelon had no very keen emotion respecting the mother she had
never known; her father had spoken of her so seldom, and
everything in connection with her had so completely dropped
out of sight, that there had been no scope for the
imaginative, shadowy adoration with which children who have
early lost their mother are wont to regard her memory; her
father had been everything to her, and of her mother's brother
she had none but unpleasant recollections. But now, for the
first time, she was brought face to face with something that
had actually been her mother's, and it was with a sort of
instinctive reverence that she went up to the box and took out
one thing after another. There was some faint scent pervading
them all, which ever afterwards associated itself in Madelon's
mind with that hour in the narrow room and gathering twilight.
There was nothing apparently of the smallest value in the
trunk. Any trinkets that Madame Linders might once have
possessed had been parted with long before her death; and
anything else that seemed likely to produce money had been
sold afterwards. Here were nothing but linen clothes, which,
as Soeur Lucie had hinted, might be made available for Madelon;
a shawl, and a cloak of an old-fashioned pattern, a few worn
English books, with the name "Magdalen Moore" written on the
fly-leaf, at which Madelon looked curiously; a half-empty
workbox, and two or three gowns. Amongst these was a well-worn
black silk, lying almost at the bottom of the trunk; and
Madelon, taking it out, unfolded it with some satisfaction at
the thought of seeing it transformed into a garment for
herself. As she did so, she perceived that some things had
been left in the pocket. It had probably been the last gown
worn by Madame Linders, and after her death, in the hurry and
confusion that had attended the packing away of her things,
under Monsieur Linders' superintendence, it had been put away
with the rest without examination.
A cambric handkerchief was the first thing Madelon pulled out,
and, as she did so, a folded paper fluttered on to the ground.
She picked it up, and took it to the window to examine it. It
was the fragment of a half-burned letter, a half sheet of
foreign paper closely written in a small, clear hand; but only
a fragment, for there was neither beginning nor ending. It was
in English, but Madelon remembered enough of the language to
make out the meaning, and this was what she read in the fading
light.
It began abruptly thus:—
"… cannot come to me, and that I must not come to you, that it
would do no good, and that M. Linders would not like it. Well,
I must admit, I suppose, but if you could imagine, Magdalen,
how I long to see your face, to hear your voice again! It is
hard to be parted for so long, and I weary, oh, how I weary
for you sometimes. To think that you are unhappy, and that I
cannot comfort you; that you also sometimes wish for me, and
that I cannot come to you—all this seems at times very hard to
bear. I think sometimes that to die for those we love would be
too easy a thing; to suffer for them and with them—would not
that be better? And I do suffer with you in my heart—do you
not believe it? But of what good is it? it cannot remove one
pang or lighten your burthen for a single moment. This is
folly, you will say; well, perhaps it is; you know I like to
be sentimental sometimes, and I am in just such a mood to-
night. Is it folly too to say, that after all the years since
we parted, I still miss you? and yet so it is. Sometimes
sitting by the fire of an evening, or looking out at the
twilight garden, I seem to hear a voice and a step, and half
expect to see my pretty Maud—you tell me you are altered, but
I cannot realize it, and yet, of course, you must be; we are
both growing old women now—we two girls will never meet again.
Don't laugh at me if I tell you a dream I had last night; I
dreamt that…" Below these words the page had been destroyed,
but there was more written on the other side, and Madelon read
on:
"… no doubt tired of all this about my love and regrets and
sympathy, and you have heard it all before, have you not? Only
believe it, Magdalen, for it comes from my heart. I think
sometimes from your letters that you doubt it, that you doubt
me; never do that—trust me when I say that my love for you is
a part of myself, that can only end with life and
consciousness. Well, let us talk of something else. I am so
glad to hear that your baby thrives; it was good of you to
wish to give it my name, but your husband was quite right in
saying it should be called Madeleine after you, and I shall
love it all the better. I already feel as if I had a
possession in it, and if big Maud will not come to me, why
then I shall have to put up with little Maud, and insist on
her coming to pay me a visit some day. But you must come too,
Magdalen; your room is all ready for you, it has been prepared
ever since I came into this house, and if I could see your
baby in the little empty bed in my nursery I think it would
take away some of the heartache that looking at it gives me. I
am writing a dismal letter instead of a cheery one, such as I
ought to send you in your solitude; but the rain it is
raining, and the wind it is blowing, and when all looks so
gray and forlorn outside, one is apt to be haunted by the
sound of small feet and chattering voices; you also, do you
not know what that is? I am alone too, to-day, for Hor…"
Here the sentence broke off abruptly; the edges of the paper
were all charred and brown; one could fancy that the letter
had been condemned to the flames, and then that this page had
been rescued, as if the possessor could not bear to part with
all the loving words.
It was like a sigh from the past. Still holding the paper in
her hand, Madelon leant her head against the window-frame and
looked out. The sun had set, the trees were blowing about,
black against the clear pale yellow of the evening sky,
overhead stars were shining faintly here and there, the wind
was sighing and scattering the faint-scented petals of the
over-blown roses. Half unconsciously, Madelon felt that the
scene, the hour, were in harmony with the pathos of the brown,
faded words, like a chord struck in unison with the key-note
of a mournful song. As she gazed, the tears began to gather in
her eyes; she tried to read the letter again, and the big
drops fell on the paper, already stained with other tears that
had been dried ever so many years ago. But it was already too
dark, she could hardly see the words; she laid the paper down
and began to cry.
It was not the first part of the letter that moved her so
much, though there was something in her that responded to the
devoted, loving words; but she had not the key to their
meaning. She knew nothing of her mother's life, nor of her
causes for unhappiness; and for the moment she did not draw
the inferences that to an older and more experienced person
would have been at once obvious. It was the allusion to
herself that was making Madelon cry with a tender little self-
pity. The child was so weary of the convent, was feeling so
friendless and so homeless just then, that this mention of the
little empty bed that sometime and somewhere had been prepared
and waiting to receive her, awoke in her quite a new longing,
such as she had never had before, for a home and a mother, and
kind protection and care, like other children. When at last
she folded the letter up, it was to put it carefully away in
the little box that contained her few treasures. It belonged
to a life in which she somehow felt she had some part, though
it lay below the horizon of her own memories and
consciousness.
Only then, as Madelon prepared to put back the things that she
had taken out of the trunk, did it occur to her to look if
anything else remained in the pocket of the black silk gown.
There was not much—only a half-used pencil, a small key, and a
faded red silk netted purse. There was money in this last—at
one end a few sous and about six francs in silver, at the
other twenty francs in gold.
Out of the Convent.
"I think you might very well come down to vespers to-night,
mon enfant," said Soeur Lucie one evening about a week later.
"To-night!" said Madelon, starting.
"Yes; why not? You are quite well and strong enough now, and
we must set to work again. I think you have been idle long
enough, and we can't begin better than by your coming to
chapel this evening."
Madelon was silent and dismayed. Ever since she had found the
money her project of flight had become a question of time
only, and it was precisely this hour of vespers she had fixed
on as the only one possible for her escape: the nuns would all
be in the chapel, and, once outside the convent, the
increasing darkness would favour her.
"Ah, not to-night, Soeur Lucie, please," she said, in a
faltering voice; "I—I am tired—I have been in the garden all
the afternoon;—that is, I am not tired; but I don't want to
come down to-night."
"Well, I will let you off this one evening," said Soeur Lucie,
good-naturedly; "though you used to be fond of coming to
vespers, and certainly I don't think you can be very tired
with sitting in the garden. However, we must begin work
regularly to-morrow; so you had better go to bed at once, and
get well rested. Good night, ma petite."
"Good-night," said Madelon; and then, as Soeur Lucie turned to
leave the room, she felt a sudden pang of self-reproach. She
was deceiving the good-humoured, simple little sister, who had
been kind to her after her own fashion; and she was going
away, and would never see her any more. She thought she would
like to have one more kind word from her, as she could not
wish her good-bye.
"Do you love me, Soeur Lucie?" she said, flinging her arms
round her neck.
"To be sure, mon enfant," answers Soeur Lucie, with some
astonishment; then, hastening to add the qualifying clause by
which so many worthy people take care to proclaim that their
love is human, and not divine, "that is, when you are good,
you know, and do what you are told."
"Ah," said Madeleine, relaxing her hold, "then if I were to do
something you thought very naughty, you would not love me any
more?"
"Indeed, I don't know. You are not going to be naughty, I
hope?" answered the nun; "but I can't wait any longer now.
Make haste, and go to bed quietly."
She hurried out of the room as she spoke. Madelon listened
till the sound of her footsteps died away; and then, without a
moment's further pause or hesitation, began pulling together a
few things into a small bundle. She had no time to waste in
vain regrets: what she had to do must be done quickly, or not
at all. A dozen windows overlooked the garden, and presently
the nuns would be returning to their cells, and her chances
would be over. Even now it was possible that one or another
might have been detained from the chapel, but that she must
risk; better that, she thought, than to wait till later, when
a prolonged vigil or a wakeful sister might be the cause of
frustrating all her hopes and plans. She had no fear of her
flight being discovered before the morning. Since her illness
she had always gone to bed early, and Soeur Lucie never did
anything more than put her head in at the door, on her way to
her own room, which was in a different part of the building,
to see that all was dark and quiet; and if Madelon did not
speak, would go away at once, satisfied that she was asleep.
The chapel bell was still ringing as she went swiftly about
her few preparations, but it had ceased by the time the small
bundle was made up, and Madelon, in her hat and cloak, stood
ready to depart. She had laid all her plans in her own mind,
and knew exactly what she meant to do. She had decided that
she would walk to Chaudfontaine; she knew that she had only to
follow the highroad to get there, and the distance she thought
could not be very great, for she remembered having once walked
it with her father years ago. To be sure she had been very
tired, but she had been only a little girl then, and could do
much better now; and it appeared to her this would be simpler
and better than going into Liege to find the railway-station,
of whose situation she had no very distinct idea, and where
she might have to wait all night for a train, thus doubling
her chances of detection. She would rather walk the five or
six miles to Chaudfontaine during the night, and take the
first morning train to Pepinster and Spa; once there, there
could of course be no further difficulties.
She stood at the window now, ready to take the first step. She
had on the old black silk gown, in which Soeur Lucie's skilful
fingers had already made the necessary alterations, a black
cloth cloak, and a little round hat and veil. She had grown a
good deal during her illness, and the idea of height was aided
by the straight black skirt, which, reaching to her ankles,
gave her a quaint, old-fashioned air. She had her bundle on
her arm, but there was still a moment of irresolution, as she
looked for the last time round the little whitewashed room. It
appeared to her that she was going to do something so
dreadfully naughty. Our Madelon had not lived so long in a
convent atmosphere, without imbibing some of the convent ideas
and opinions, and she was aware that in the eyes of the nuns
there were few offences so heinous as that which she was going
to commit. "But I am not a nun yet," thinks the poor child,
clasping and unclasping her hands in her perplexity, and
struggling with the conscience-stricken sense of naughtiness,
which threatened at this last moment to overpower all her
foregone conclusions, and disconcert her in spite of herself—
"I am not a nun yet, so it cannot be so very wrong in me; and
then there is Monsieur Horace——" and with the thought of him
all Madelon's courage returned. The rush of associations
linking his name with a hundred aspirations, hopes, plans,
which had become a habit of mind with her, revived in full
force, and with these came a sudden realization of the
imminent nature of the present opportunity, which, if lost,
might never return.
The next moment she had dropped her bundle on the flower-bed
below, and was scrambling out of the low window, clinging to
the window-sill, catching hold of tough stems and pliant
branches, crashing down through twigs, and leaves, and
flowers, on to the ground beneath. Could these convent-trained
vines and roses have known what daring little culprit was
amongst them, would they have cried aloud for aid, I wonder,
stretching out thorny sprays, and twining tendrils, to catch
and detain her prisoner?—or would they not rather, in their
sweet liberty of air, and dew, and sunshine, have done their
best to help forward this poor little captive in her flight,
aiding her in her descent, and shielding her from all prying
eyes with their leafy branches, their interlacing sprays of
red buds, and soft, faint flowers?
But they paid no heed one way or the other, and Madelon, with
not a few scratches on her hands, and more that one rent in
her frock, was safely on the ground. It was all the work of a
moment; in another she had caught up her bundle, and was
darting over the lawn, across the twilit garden, as if the
whole sisterhood were in pursuit. Hardly knowing how she did
it, she clambered up the wall, through the big westeria,
reached the top, and slipping, sliding, found herself in the
pathway running round the outside, scratched, bruised, and
breathless, but without the walls, and so far free, at any
rate. Months afterwards she found some withered lilac-blossoms
lodged amongst the ribbons of her hat; how they recalled to
her the moment of that desperate rush and clamber, the faint,
dewy scent of the flowers, which she noticed even then, the
rustle and crash of the branches, which startled her as with
the sound of pursuing footsteps.
Once outside, she paused for a moment to take breath, and be
certain that no one was following her. All was quiet, and in
the stillness she could hear, as once before, the voices of
the nuns singing in the chapel. Picking up her bundle again,
she walked quickly away, along the little weed-grown path at
the back of the building, down the slope of the ploughed
field, up which she had come with Horace Graham two years and
a half ago. In thinking over her journey beforehand, she had
decided that it would be unwise to be walking along the
highroad whilst there was still any daylight left, and that
she would hide herself somewhere till it should be quite dark,
before setting out on her walk to Chaudfontaine. So, as soon
as she had reached the bottom of the unsheltered slope, she
looked about for a place of refuge. She found it in a clump of
trees and bushes growing by the roadside; and creeping in
amongst them, our Madelon's slim little figure was very well
concealed amongst the shadows from any passer-by. Eight
o'clock had struck as she left the convent. "I will wait till
nine," she resolved. "An hour will not be very long, and it
will be quite dark by that time." And so she did wait, with
the most determined impatient patience, through an hour that
seemed as if it would never end, whilst the darkness fell, and
passing footsteps became more and more rare. At last she heard
the shrill-toned convent clock strike nine, and coming out of
her place of concealment, she began her journey in earnest.
It was a dark, still, cloudy night. Above was the black mass
of the convent dimly defined against the sullen sky; she took
one glance at it before she bade it farewell; all was silent,
not a light shone from its windows, not a tree waved above the
surrounding walls. Behind her hung the great cloud of smoke
that ever darkens over the city of Liege. Here and there a
sudden glare illuminated the gloom of the surrounding hills;
it came from the furnaces of the great iron-foundries; before
her stretched the dusky road, between hedges and trees and
scattered houses, soon lost in the obscurity beyond. Not a
footstep could be heard, not a leaf rustled as Madelon and her
bundle emerged from their hiding-place; but the child felt no
alarm at the silence and solitude—the darkness and loneliness
of the road could not frighten her. Indeed she was naturally
of so courageous a temperament, and just then, through joy and
hope, of so brave a spirit, that it would have been only a
very real and present danger that could have alarmed her, and
she did not even dream if imaginary ones. She almost danced as
she went along, she felt so free and happy. "How glad I am to
have quitted the convent," she thought to herself; "how triste
it was, how dismal! How can people exist who always, always
live there? They do not live, I think, they seem half dead
already. Aunt Therese, how mournful and cold she always
looked; she never smiled, she hardly ever spoke; she was not
alive as other people are. Soeur Lucie told me that she would
be a glorious saint in Heaven, and ten thousand times more
happy than if she had not lived in the convent; how does Soeur
Lucie know, I wonder? If so, she must have been glad to die—it
was, perhaps, for that, that she made herself so miserable,
that she might not dread death when it came; but that seems to
me a very foolish way of spending one's life. And if to be
like Aunt Therese was to be a saint, I am sure all the nuns
were not so. How they used to chatter and quarrel sometimes;
Soeur Marie would hardly speak to Soeur Lucie for a week, I
remember, because she said Soeur Lucie had made Aunt Therese
give her the best piece of embroidery to do, after it had been
promised to her. I do not believe that; I love Soeur Lucie, she
was always kind to me, and never quarrelled with any one. Oh!
even if I had not made that promise to papa, I could never,
never, have been a nun; I have done well in running away."
She walked on for a long time, her thoughts running on the
scenes she had left behind, on the last two years of her life;
she had no remorse now, no regrets at their having come to an
end. To our lively, independent, excitable Madelon, they had,
as we know, been years of restraint, of penance, of utter
weariness; and never, perhaps, had she felt them to be so more
keenly than in these first moments of her release. But she
would have found them harder still without the memory of
Monsieur Horace, and her promise to him, to fill her heart and
imagination, and her thoughts reverted to him now; how, when
she had made his fortune, she would take it all to him; how he
would look, what he would say. This was a little picture the
child was never weary of imagining to herself. She filled it
in with a hundred different backgrounds, to suit the fancy of
the moment; she tinted it with the brightest colours. Out in
the vague future, into which no one can venture to look
without some point on which to rest the mind, this little
scene had gradually become at once the end of her present
hopes, the beginning of another life, of which, indeed, she
knew nothing, but that it lay in a sort of luminous haze of
success and happiness. She never doubted she would attain it;
it was not an affair of the imagination only, it was to be a
most certain reality; she had arranged it all in those long
weeks gone by, and now that the beginning was actually made,
she was ready to look at it from the most practical point of
view. Taking out her little purse, she began to count her
money for at least the fiftieth time, as she walked along in
the darkness.
"I have here twenty-six francs," she said to herself; "out of
these, I must pay my journey to Spa. Why should I not go to
Spa on foot? It cannot be a very long way; I remember that
papa sometimes went backwards and forwards twice in the day
from Chaudfontaine. I have already come a great way, and I am
not in the lest fatigued. If I could do that, I should save a
great deal of money—not that I am afraid I shall not have
plenty without that; ten francs would be sufficient, but it
will be perhaps safer if I can keep fifteen. Let me see; I
must pay for my room at Spa. I wonder whether Madame Bertrand
is still the landlady at the Hotel de Madrid. Also I must have
some breakfast and some dinner; all this, however, will not
cost me ten francs. I imagine I could still take the train
from Chaudfontaine to Spa. Ah, I am getting very tired; I
wonder if I have much further to go. I think I must rest a
little while."
Madelon, in fact, but lately recovered from her fever, and for
many months unused to much exercise, was in no sort of
condition for a six or seven miles' walk. She had started with
great courage, but it seemed to her that she had already been
on her journey quite an indefinite length of time, and that
she must be near the end, whilst in fact she had only
accomplished half the distance. She would sit down for a short
time, she thought, and then the rest would soon be
accomplished, and she looked about for a seat of some kind.
The road hitherto could hardly have been called lonely, for
houses had been scattered on either side, and part of the way
had led through a large village, where, from some uncurtained
window, from some cafe or restaurant, long gleams of light had
shot across the road, revealing for an instant the little
figure passing swiftly along, glad to hide again in the
obscurity beyond. But all this was left behind now, and as far
as she could make out, she was quite in the open country,
though in the darkness she could hardly distinguish objects
three yards off. She found a big stone however, before long,
and sitting down on it, leaning her head against a tree, in
five minutes the child was soundly asleep.
How long she slept she never knew. Tired out, her repose was
at first profound and unconscious; but presently it began to
be haunted by confused dreams, in which past, present, and
future were mingled together. She dreamt that she was
wandering in some immense vaulted hall, where she had never
been before, and which yet resembled the refectory of the
convent; for long tables were spread as for the evening meal,
and in the twilight, black-robed nuns whose faces she could
never see, were gliding to and fro. And then, how or why she
did not know, they were no longer the deal tables of the
convent, with their coarse white cloths and earthenware
plates, but the long green tables of the Kursaal, with Aunt
Therese as croupier, and all the nuns pushing and raking the
piles of money backwards and forwards. She was amongst them,
and it seemed to her she had just won a great heap of gold;
but when she tried to get it, Aunt Therese, in the character
of croupier, refused to let her touch it. "It is mine; is it
not, papa?" she cried to somebody standing at her side; and
then looking up, saw it was Monsieur Horace; he did not speak,
but gazing at her for a moment, shook his head, and moved away
slowly into the gloom. And then the nuns and Aunt Therese also
seemed to vanish, and she was left alone with the tables and
the money, in the midst of which lay a long figure covered
with a sheet, as she had seen her father the night that he had
died. She did not think of that, however, but ran eagerly up
to the table to take her winnings, when the figure moved, a
hand was put out to seize the gold, and the sheet falling off,
Madelon recognized her dead father's face.
With a shriek she awoke, and sprang up, shivering and
trembling with cold and fright—all the terrors of the night
suddenly come upon her. She looked round; all was as it had
been when she went to sleep; the lonely road, the dark fields,
the trees and hedges; but a breeze had sprung up before the
dawn, and was rustling the leaves and branches; overhead a
star or two was shining in dark rifts, and in the east a
melancholy waning moon was slowly rising, half obscured by
scattered clouds. With a sudden impulse, born of an urgent
sense of utter loneliness and helplessness, the child fell on
her knees and repeated an Ave Maria; the clouds drifted away,
and the low moon shone out between the trees with a pale glow,
that to our convent-taught Madelon seemed suddenly to
irradiate and transfigure the night with a glory not of earth.
Never in after years did she, in church or picture-gallery,
come across glorified Madonna, or saint floating in ethereal
spaces, without the memory returning to her of a silent road,
dark, rustling trees, a midnight sky swept with clouds; and
then a vision, as it were, of light and hope, giving new
strength and courage to one little terrified heart.
Madelon started on her journey with renewed energy, but she
hardly knew how she got through the miles that remained. The
moon rose higher and higher, the road bordered with poplar-
trees seemed to stretch before and behind into a never-ending
length, as in some wearying nightmare. Madelon, in her
straight, old-fashioned silk frock, her bundle on her arm,
marching steadily on, looked nothing but a queer little black
speck, casting a long narrow shadow, as she passed from one
moon-lit space to another. Ever afterwards, when she looked
back upon that night, the whole seemed like some perplexed,
struggling dream, of which the waking reality appeared less
vivid than the visions that had haunted her sleep. Perhaps she
would have broken down altogether but for the friendly hints
of the coming day that presently began to show themselves.
There came a moment when the night grew more silent, and the
breeze more chilly, and the surrounding world more dim and
fantastic in the uncertain moonlight; and then the shadows
began to waver and grow confused, long streaks of light showed
themselves in the east, the moon grew fainter in the
brightening sky, the birds began to chirp and twitter in every
tree and bush. The night had vanished, and the horizon was all
aglow with the ruddy light of a new day, when Madelon turned
the last bend of the road, and saw before her the white
cottages, the big hotel, the stream and hills of
Chaudfontaine.
The Countess G——.
No one was yet stirring in the little village, which, scarcely
emerged from the early twilight, lay still and silent, except
for the ceaseless, monotonous clang of the forges. Madelon was
tired out; she knew it was too early for any train to start
for Spa, and nothing better occurred to her than to sit down
and rest once more in a sheltered corner amongst some bushes
under a big hawthorn-tree growing on the bank of the river;
and in a few minutes she was again sound asleep, whilst the
mass of snowy blossoms above her head grew rosy in the
sunlight.
It was broad daylight when she awoke again, and sat up rubbing
her eyes, and feeling very chilly, and stiff, and sleepy, but
with a quickly succeeding delight in the bright May morning, a
joyous sense of escape and freedom, of all that she had
accomplished already, and was going to accomplish on this day
to which she had looked forward so long. Everything looked
gold and blue in the early sunlight; the river danced and
sparkled, the poplar-trees were now green, now silvery-grey,
as they waved about in the breeze; the country people were
passing along the road, laughing and chattering gaily in their
queer patois. The dark night seemed to have vanished into
indefinite remoteness, like some incongruous dream, which, on
waking, one recalls with difficulty and wonder, in the midst
of bright familiar surroundings. The two years of convent
life, too, seemed to be slipping out of little Madelon's
existence, as if they had never been; she could almost fancy
she had been sleeping all these months, and had awakened to
find all the same—ah! no, not quite the same. Madelon had a
sharp little pang of grief as she thought of her father, and
then a glad throb of joy as she thought of Monsieur Horace—and
then she suddenly discovered that she was horribly hungry,
and, jumping up, she began to walk towards the village.
Not fifty yards from where she had been sleeping stood the
hotel where she had so often stayed, and where she had first
met Horace Graham. There, too, everything was stirring and
awakening into activity—shutters being thrown back, windows
opened, the sunny courtyard swept out. Madelon stood still for
a moment looking on. She wondered whether her old friend,
Mademoiselle Cecile, was still there; she thought it would be
very pleasant to go in and see her, and have some breakfast in
the big salle-a-manger, with the pink and yellow paper roses,
and long rows of windows looking out into the courtyard and
garden. But then, she further reflected, breakfasting at an
hotel might probably cost a great deal of money, and she had
so little money to spare; so that on the whole it might be
better to see what she could find in a shop, and she walked
quickly up the village street. Chaudfontaine contains none of
the luxuries, and as few as possible of the necessaries of
life, which are for the most part supplied from Liege; but
sour bread is not unknown there, and Madelon having procured a
great, dark tough hunch for her sous, turned back towards the
hotel. She stood outside the iron railing, eating her bread,
and watching what was going on inside; the stir and small
bustle had a positive fascination for her, after her months of
seclusion in the convent. It brought back her old life with
the strangest vividness, joining on the present with the past
which had been so happy; it was as if she had been suddenly
brought back into air and light after long years of darkness
and silence. Through the open door of the hotel she could see
the shadowy green of the garden beyond. Was the swing in which
she had so often sat for hours still there? The windows of the
salon were open too, and there were the old pictures on the
wall, the piano just where it used to stand, and a short,
stout figure, in skirt and camisole, moving about, who might
be Mademoiselle Cecile herself. Presently some children came
running out into the courtyard, with shining hair and faces,
and clean white pinafores, fresh out of the nurse's hands.
Madelon looked at them with a sudden sense of having grown
much older than she used to be—almost grown up, compared to
these small things. She had been no bigger than that when she
had first seen Monsieur Horace. She tried to recall their
first meeting, but in truth she could not remember much about
it; it was so long ago, and succeeding visits had so nearly
effaced the remembrance of that early time, that it was rather
the shadowy memory of a memory, than the reality itself, that
came back to her mind.
Madelon had long finished her breakfast, but, busy with these
recollections, was still lingering outside the courtyard, when
a gentleman and lady came out of the hotel and walked down
towards the gate. The gentleman was stout, black-haired, red-
faced, and good-humoured-looking; the lady elderly, thin, and
freckled, with a much tumbled silk gown, and frizzy, sandy
hair, under a black net bonnet, adorned with many artificial
flowers. In all our Madelon's reminiscences of the past, these
two figures assuredly had no place, and yet this was by no
means the first time they had met at this very hotel. The lady
was the Countess G——, with whom one memorable evening Madelon
had had a grand fight over a roulette board; the gentleman was
Horace Graham's quondam fellow-traveller, the Countess's old
admirer, and now her husband.
They were talking as they came together down the courtyard,
and Madelon caught the last words of their conversation.
"Adieu, mon ami," cried the lady, as they approached the gate;
"I shall rejoin you this afternoon at Liege."
"And by the earliest train possible, I beg of you," answered
the other. "I may find it necessary to go on to Brussels this
evening."
"By the earliest train possible, mon ami. Adieu, then,—au
revoir."
"Au revoir, ma cherie," answered the gentleman, turning back
to the hotel, but pausing before he had taken a dozen steps.
"Ma cherie, you will not forget my business at Madame
Bertrand's?"
"But no, mon ami, it shall be attended to without fail."
"Ma cherie——"
"Mon ami——"
"You must hasten, or you will miss the train."
"I go, I go," cried the Countess, waving her parasol in token
of farewell, and hurrying out of the gateway. These last words
aroused Madelon also. In hearing strange voices talking what
seemed some familiar, half-forgotten tongue, she had almost
forgotten the train; but she started up now from where she had
been half standing, half leaning, and followed the Countess
across the bridge into the railway station. Indeed she had
only just time to take her ticket, before the train for Spa
came rushing up with slackening speed into the station. There
were few passengers either coming or going at this early hour,
but Madelon's heart gave a great jump as she saw two black-
robed figures get out of one of the carriages and come towards
her. In another moment she saw they were Soeurs de Charite,
with a dress quite different from that worn by the nuns; but
the imaginary alarm suggested very real causes of fear, which
somehow had almost slipped from her mind since the first hours
of her escape from the convent. In her new, glad sense of
freedom, she had quite forgotten that the hour had long since
arrived when her flight must most certainly be discovered, and
that there were, after all, still only six miles of road
between her and her old life; and it was with quite a newly
awakened dread that even now unfriendly eyes might be watching
her from some one of the carriage-windows, that she jumped
hastily into the nearest compartment she could find. It was
not empty, however, for the Countess, who had preceded her
across the bridge had already taken her place, and was
arranging her flounces in one corner. She looked up, astounded
at Madelon's somewhat precipitate entrance; and as the train
moved off, she treated her small companion to a most
unceremonious stare, which took in every detail of her
personal appearance.
"Are you travelling alone?" she asked, at length, abruptly.
"Yes, madame," said Madelon, getting rather red. She had
resented the stare, and did not want to be talked to; her one
idea now was to get to Spa unnoticed. But she had ill-chosen
her travelling companion—the Countess was a lady whose
impertinent curiosity was rarely baffled.
"What! quite alone? Is there nobody at all with you?"
"No, madame."
"But that is very extraordinary, and not at all the thing for
a young person of your age. What makes you go about all by
yourself?"
"I—I have no one to go with me," faltered Madelon, getting
more and more hot and uncomfortable.
"But that is very strange, and, as one may say, very improper;
have you no friends?"
"Yes,—no," began Madelon; but at that moment, with a shriek,
the train entered a tunnel, and the sudden noise and darkness
put a stop to the conversation for a time. The Countess began
again presently, however, as they went speeding across the
next valley.
"Do you live at Chaudfontaine?" was her next inquiry.
"No," says poor Madelon, looking around despairingly, as for
some means of escape; but that was hopeless, and she could
only shrink further into her corner.
"And where are you going now, then?"
"I am going to Spa."
"To Spa? Ah, indeed—and what are you going to do there?
Perhaps," said the Countess, more graciously, and with another
glance at the shabby frock and poor little bundle, "perhaps
you are going into some situation there?"
"Situation?" repeated Madelon, bewildered.
"Yes—you would make a very nice little nursery-maid, I dare
say," said the Countess, with much condescension; "and,
indeed, if you should be wanting any assistance in that way,
you have only to apply to me; and if you can produce good
credentials, I shall be most happy to assist you. I am always
ready to help deserving young people."
Madelon grew red as fire. "I am not a nursery-maid," she said,
with much indignation; "I don't know what you mean, and you
have no right to ask me so many questions—I will not answer
any more."
Another shriek and another tunnel; when they once more emerged
into daylight, Madelon had retreated into that corner of the
carriage remotest from the Countess, who, for her part, showed
some wisdom, perhaps, in making no attempt to resume the
conversation.
At Pepinster, they changed trains; and here Madelon found an
empty carriage, where, without disturbance, she might sit and
congratulate herself on having accomplished this first step in
her journey. Indeed, this seemed to her so great a success,
that she felt nothing but hope as she sat curled up in a
corner, only wishing vaguely, from time to time, that her head
would not ache so much, and that she did not feel so very,
very tired. She had a great confidence in the swiftness of the
train, which was every moment increasing the distance between
herself and Liege, and so, as she thought, lessening the
chances of her being discovered in case of pursuit; and yet,
when it stopped at length at the well-remembered Spa station,
she lingered a moment in the carriage, feeling as if it were a
friendly place of refuge she was leaving, to face unknown
dangers in the outer world.
No one noticed her, however, as she slowly alighted and looked
about her. There were, as we have said, but few passengers at
this early hour, and the platform was already nearly deserted.
At a little distance she could see Madame la Comtesse and her
flounces walking briskly away; on one side was an English
family of the received type, wrangling with porters and
omnibus-drivers in the midst of their luggage; on the other,
an invalid Russian wrapped to the nose in furs, leaning on his
valet's arm; in the foreground, a party of gay Liegeois, come
over for a day's amusement. No one looked at our poor little
Madelon, as, half-bewildered, she stood for a moment on the
platform, her bundle on her arm, her veil pulled down over her
face; one after the other they vanished, and then she too
followed, out into the tree-bordered road, with the familiar
hills on either side, sheltering the little gay white town.
The day had changed within the last hour, the sunshine was
gone, and in its place was a grey, lowering sky. Madelon
shivered as she walked along; her head ached more and more;
she wondered what it was that made her feel so tired and weak,
and then she remembered that she had been ill for a long time,
and that she had been up all night. "I will ask Madame
Bertrand to let me lie down and go to sleep," she thought,
"before I go to the Redoute, and then I shall be all right."
She walked on as fast as she could, so as to arrive sooner at
the hotel; she remembered its situation perfectly, in the
Place Royale, not far from the stand where the band used to
play every evening; and there its was at last, all unchanged
since she had last seen it three years ago, and with "Hotel de
Madrid" shining in big gold letters above the door.
Every one who knows Spa, knows the Place Royale, with its
broad walks and rows of trees, leading from the shady avenues
of the Promenade a Sept Heures at the one end, to the winding
street with its gay shops at the other. The Hotel de Madrid
was situated about half-way down the Place, and, as compared
with the great hotels of Spa, it was small, mean, and third-
rate, little frequented therefore by the better class of
visitors, and with no particular recommendation beyond its
situation on the Place Royale, its cheap terms, and its
excellent landlady. M. Linders, whose means did not always
admit of reckless expenditure, and whose credit was not wholly
unlimited, had gone there two or three times, when visiting
Spa to retrieve fallen fortunes; and the first time he had
taken Madelon with him, she and Madame Bertrand had become
such fast friends, that, for his child's sake, he never
afterwards went anywhere else. Madelon had the most lively,
pleasant recollections of the stout motherly landlady, whose
store of bonbons and confitures had been absolutely endless.
Of all her friends in this class, Madame Bertrand had been the
one to whom she had most attached herself, and now it was
almost with the feeling of finding herself at home that she
saw the hotel before her.
The door stood open, and she went into the small hall, or
rather passage, which ran through the house, ending in another
door, which, also open, afforded a green view of many currant
and gooseberry bushes in Madame Bertrand's garden. To the
right was the staircase, to the left the salle-a-manger, a low
room with two windows looking on to the Place, and furnished
with half-a-dozen small round tables, for the hotel was of too
unpretentious a nature to aspire to a table d'hote; the floor
lacked polish, and the furniture was shabby, yet the room had
a friendly look to our homeless Madelon, as a frequent
resting-place in such wanderings to and fro as had been hers
in former years. She went in. A man was sitting at one of the
tables, a tall bottle of red wine at his side, and a dish of
cutlets before him, eating his late dejeuner, and reading a
newspaper; whilst a waiter moved about, arranging knives and
forks, table-napkins, and pistolets, with occasional pauses
for such glimpses of the outer world as could be obtained
through the muslin curtains hanging before the somewhat dingy
windows.
"Is Madame Bertrand at home?" asked Madelon, coming up to him.
The man stared down at the shabbily dressed little figure
before him, glanced at the bundle hanging on her arm, and then
answered civilly enough that Madame Bertrand was not at home.
Did Mademoiselle want anything?
"I wanted to speak to Madame Bertrand," answered Madelon
rather piteously; "will she be back soon, do you think? When
can I see her?"
"Eh, je n'en sais rien," said the man. "If Mademoiselle wants
to see her, she had better call again—or she can leave a
message," and he went on laying the tables.
Madelon sat down despondingly on a chair near the door, hardly
knowing what to do next. It was the first check in the
carrying out of her little programme, a programme so neatly
arranged, but with this defect, mainly arising from
inexperience, that it had made no sort of allowance for
unforeseen circumstances—and yet of such so many were likely
to arise. She had quite settled in her own mind what she was
going to say to Madame Bertrand, and also what Madame Bertrand
would say to her, but she had not provided for this other
contingency of not finding her at all. She sat and considered
for a minute. Two or three men came in laughing and talking,
and stared in her face as they passed by and called for what
they wanted. She began to feel uncomfortable; she could not
stay there till Madame Bertrand returned; what if she were to
go to the Redoute first, and then return to the hotel? Yes,
that would be the best plan; if only she had not felt so very
tired, with such aching limbs and head; the sight and smell of
the meat and wine made her feel almost faint. However, that
could not be helped, she must do the best she could. She went
up to the waiter again. "I must go now," she said, "but I will
come back presently to see Madame Bertrand; may I leave these
things here?" and she held up her bundle.
"Mademoiselle wants a room—or is it something for Madame?"
said the man, perplexed at this strange little visitor, who
was wholly out of the range of his experience.
"No, no, it is mine," said Madelon; "if I might leave it here——"
The waiter set down the tray he was holding, and left the room
followed by Madelon. "Mademoiselle Henriette!" he cried.
"Mademoiselle Henriette is in the garden," answered a shrill
voice from above; and at the same moment a trim little figure
appeared from amongst the currant and gooseberry bushes, and
came in at the open door leading into the passage.
"Does any one want me?" she cried.
"Pardon, Madame," said Madelon, coming forward to tell her
little story, whilst the waiter returned to his plates and
dishes, "I wanted to see Madame Bertrand, but they say she is
out, and that I must return later; might I leave my things
here for a little while till I come back?"
"Do you want a room, Mademoiselle?" said the other; "I regret
to say that the hotel is quite full; we have not a single bed
at your disposal."
"Ah, what shall I do? what do you think would be best?" said
poor Madelon, piteously, suddenly breaking down in the grown-
up part she had been half unconsciously acting, and ready to
burst into tears. Things were not turning out at all as she
had wished or intended. "I did want a room, but I thought I
should have found Madame Bertrand, and she would have helped
me; I don't know what to do now."
"Do you know my aunt? I am Madame Bertrand's niece," says
Mademoiselle Henriette in explanation. "She will not be in
just yet, but if you like to wait in here a little while, you
can do so, or you can return by-and-by."
She opened the door of a small parlour as she spoke, and stood
aside for Madelon to enter. A little faded room, with a high
desk standing in the window, gaudy ornaments on the
mantelpiece, a worn Utrecht velvet sofa, and a semicircle of
worsted-work chairs—not much in it all to awaken enthusiasm,
one would think, and yet, as Madelon came in, she forgot
disappointment, and fatigue, and everything else for a moment,
in a glad recognition of well-remembered objects.
"It is not a bit altered," she cried, quite joyfully, turning
to Mademoiselle Henriette as she spoke.
"You have been here before then," says Mademoiselle, looking
curiously at the child, and seeing for the first time, in the
clearer light of the room, what a child she was.
"Yes," answered Madelon, "I used to come here very often; we
liked coming, because Madame Bertrand was so kind. I know she
will be glad to see me again—ah!" she cried, breaking off in
the middle of her sentence, "there is the little china dog I
used to play with, and the bonbonniere with the flowers
painted on the top—ah, and my little glass—do you know, Madame
used always let me drink out of that glass when I had supper
with her—but you were not here, then, Mademoiselle."
"That is true, I have only been with my aunt about six months;
she is growing old, and wants some one to help her," answered
Mademoiselle Henriette, a most brisk, capable-looking little
personage, "but I daresay she will recollect you. Are you all
alone? Have you come far to-day?"
"Not very far," said Madelon, colouring up, and suddenly
recalled to the present. "I think, please, I will leave my
things here now, and come back presently."
"I think you had better stay here quietly and rest; you look
very tired," said Mademoiselle kindly; and indeed as the glow
faded from her cheeks, Madelon showed a most colourless little
face, with heavy eyelids, that seemed as if they could hardly
open.
"No, I would rather go out now," she answered; "I can rest
afterwards."
Indeed, tired as she felt, she had changed her mind, thinking
that if she stayed now, it would be hard to set off again by-
and-by, and she was determined to get her business done to-
day—she had a morbid dread, too, of questions from strangers,
after her experience with the Countess.
"I must go out," she repeated; "but I will come back again,
and then perhaps Madame Bertrand will have come in, and will
tell me where I can sleep to-night."
Mademoiselle Henriette had neither time nor sufficient
interest in the child to contest the point further; and
Madelon, having safely deposited her bundle in a corner of the
sofa, departed on her errand.
What Madelon did at the Redoute.
And so more than half Madelon's troubles are over, and she is
really approaching the moment so looked and longed for, for
which so much has been dared and risked! Ah, is it so that our
dearest hopes get fulfilled? In after years Madelon always
looked back upon the remainder of that day, as upon the
previous night, as a sort of horrible nightmare, through which
she struggled more and more painfully—to what awakening we
shall presently see. The golden morning had faded into a grey
drizzle; the mist hung upon the hills, hiding their tops, and
there were low heavy clouds, presaging an afternoon of more
decided rain. The golden hope, too, that had so sustained and
cheered our Madelon, seemed to have suddenly faded also; and
in its place was that ever-increasing sense of utter weariness
and aching limbs, which seemed as if it would overpower her
before she had gone a dozen yards from the house. She went on
bravely, however, trying to brace herself with the
consciousness of a great purpose, very near its fulfilment
now; but somehow she seemed almost to have forgotten what it
was, or why she had ever formed it. Her keenest feeling at
that moment was, perhaps, that expressed by the quick, furtive
glance with which she looked round from time to time, as some
following footstep made itself heard behind her. The sudden
alarm at Chaudfontaine had given rise to a haunting dread,
which she was unable to shake off, though even that was rather
a vague sensation than a well-defined, reasonable fear.
Still she kept on her way, strong in the strength of a
resolution that had so taken possession of all the deepest
feelings and affections of a most ardent little nature, that
nothing but absolute physical inability could have held her
back from keeping to it now. It was perhaps well for her,
however, that with her childish pleasure in planning every
detail, she had arranged everything beforehand with such
minuteness, that she had no need to reflect now as to what she
had to do. She had only to go on mechanically, and indeed she
seemed to have no power of reflection left in her at all, as
she walked slowly up the street, past the gay shops, where, a
happy, chattering little girl, she had so often lingered with
her father, to choose some pretty trifle. Almost without
thinking, so familiar was the road, did she enter the Redoute,
and ascend the wide staircase; and then at last she feels a
thrill as she sees before her the big salons that she has so
often re-visited in her dreams, with their gilding, and
mirrors, and velvet, that she loves so well, and with which
some of her happiest hours are associated—sees, too, the long
green tables, where Monsieur Horace's fortune is to be made,
and Madelon's promise redeemed at last.
Nothing seemed so strange to our inexperienced Madelon, as
that everything should be unchanged; only yesterday she had
been sitting quietly in the convent garden, with long years
separating her from the old life—and now it seemed but
yesterday that she had been here. She went straight up to the
rouge-et-noir table. She was familiar with both it and
roulette, but of the two games rouge-et-noir was that which M.
Linders had always most affected; and without thinking much
about it, Madelon had fixed upon it as the one at which she
would try her fortune. It was still early, and the tables had
not long been opened, yet there was already a crowd two or
three deep round them; and Madelon, hovering on the outside,
had to wait some time for an opening that would enable her to
approach near enough to lay down her money. It seemed so
natural to be standing there watching the play—the expectant
silence, the clink of the coin, the monotonous drone of the
croupier, were all so familiar, that for a minute she quite
forgot that she had any special object in view; and then, with
one of those starts of realization with which from time to
time she seemed to waken up out of some confused dream, she
remembered why she was there, and what she had to do. It was
only then, that on taking out her purse with its cherished
contents, so as to be ready when her turn should come, it
flashed across her mind that she had intended to ask Madame
Bertrand to change the two ten-franc pieces that formed her
capital, into pieces of five francs, which would have given
her two chances more. Well—it could not be helped now, and,
after all, had she not more than enough? "Dix francs, et je
ferai fortune—dix francs, et je ferai fortune—" The old words
seemed to set themselves to a tune in Madelon's head, chiming
in with the croupier's perpetual "Rouge gagne et la couleur,"
"Rouge perd et la couleur," whilst the two precious coins grew
warm in the little hand that was clasped so tightly over them.
She had half relapsed into her dreamy state, when a woman who
had been standing in front of her came pushing through the
crowd. Madelon instinctively stepped forward to take her
place, and roused up on finding that she was near enough to
the table to lay down her money. The croupier was counting out
the cards for the next stakes. Madelon waited till that turn
was over, and then, leaning across the back of the chair
before her, threw one of her little gold pieces on the table.
It was on the red she had staked. There was a pause as the
other players made their game; Madelon's languid pulses began
to flutter with a sudden interest, increasing to breathless
excitement as the croupier began to deal out the cards. "Rouge
perd et la couleur," and the poor little piece was swept away.
Madelon's heart sank with a sudden pang, and then it beat
faster, and her cheeks flushed, as, with a quick impulse,
without a moment's hesitation, she threw her remaining ten
francs on to the same spot. Another pause—another deal. "Rouge
perd et la couleur!" She had lost again, and her last chance
was gone.
Surely at the gambling-tables of Spa that day there was no
more pitiful little tragedy played out than that represented
by these two warm little gold coins, raked away by an
indifferent croupier into a great careless heap, and carrying
with them how many hopes, and ambitions, and longings—all
crushed and scattered in one brief moment. Madelon half
uttered a stifled cry, half made an involuntary movement
forward; then, recollecting herself, shrank back, disengaging
herself from the crowd. The gap was immediately filled up; no
one remarked, or cared for, the poor, despairing child. The
brave little spirit almost gave way, as Madelon, with a sudden
sick feeling of faintness and giddiness, was obliged to sit
down on the nearest sofa—but not quite even then. All was
lost—nothing now remained for her to do in those salons, and
she must not stay there, she knew; so in a minute she got up
again, and made her way out of the room and down the
staircase, clinging to the balustrade, blindly groping her
way, as it were, till she was once more in the street.
Here the fresh air revived her a little, and she was able to
consider what she should do next. Ah! what, indeed, was she to
do, with a programme so rudely disarranged, with all her
little plans and projects so shattered to fragments, that to
restore them to anything like their former shape seemed
hopeless? Madelon could think of nothing better to do than to
go back to the hotel from which she had come. She had left all
her small possessions there, and perhaps Madame Bertrand would
have come in, and would be able to help her. In all the world
our despairing Madelon could turn her thoughts nowhere at this
crisis but to the good, unconscious Madame Bertrand, the one
friend to whom she could apply, and who might perhaps be
willing to assist her.
It seemed a long time before she found herself at the hotel
again, and yet, in fact, it was scarcely more than half an
hour since she had left it. Through the open door to the left
she might have seen the waiter still busy over his plates and
glasses, while the gentleman who had been breakfasting had
only just finished his newspaper. But Madelon never thought of
them, nor looked in that direction, indeed; with dazed eyes
she was making her way along the semi-darkness of the passage
to the parlour at the end, when she ran right up against some
one who was coming towards her—a stout old lady, with grey
hair, and a little grey moustache, a very gay shawl, and a
large bonnet, with primrose-coloured ribbons. Madelon
recognised her in an instant. "Oh! Madame Bertrand!" she
cried, flinging her arms round her, "don't you know me? I am
Madeleine Linders."
Madame Bertrand stepped back, a little overwhelmed by this
vehement salutation, and then,—
"Madeleine Linders?" she cried. "What! little Mademoiselle
Madelon, who used to come here so often with her papa?"
"Yes, I am little Madelon," she answered; and indeed the sight
of the kind old face, the sound of the cheery, familiar voice,
made her feel quite a small Madelon again. "You have not
forgotten me, have you, Madame Bertrand?"
"Indeed I have not, though you have grown into such a tall
young lady. But why have you not been here for such a long
time? Where is your papa?"
"Ah! Madame," says Madelon, her sense of utter discouragement
gaining ground again, as the first flush of pleasure at the
sight of her old friend died away, "I am very unhappy. Papa
died nearly three years ago, and I have been in a convent ever
since, with Aunt Therese; but Aunt Therese is dead too; and
they said that I was to be a nun, so I ran away."
"To be a nun!—a child like you? How could they think of such a
thing?" cried the good old woman. "And you look tired out.
Come in here and tell me all about it."
She drew her into the little parlour as she spoke.
Mademoiselle Henriette was sitting at the high desk in the
window looking on the garden, and some one else was there too,
fanning herself in one of the worsted-work chairs. It was
Madame la Comtesse, who had come there to settle her husband's
business with Madame Bertrand. Both looked up as the landlady
came into the room, half carrying, half dragging Madelon.
"Pauvre petite! pauvre petite!" she kept on saying, shaking
and nodding her kind old head the while.
She made the child lie down on the sofa, pulled a cushion
under her head, and then introduced her generally with "They
wanted to make her a nun, and so she has run away from the
convent."
"Run away!" cried Mademoiselle Henriette, turning quite round.
"Well, I thought there was something very queer——"
"Run away!" cried the Countess. "Dear me, but that is very
naughty!"
These little speeches, coming in the midst of Madame
Bertrand's effusive benevolence, seemed quite irrelevant to
the matter in hand, but nevertheless imparted a sudden chill.
"Not at all naughty," said Madame, at last, rallying, and
still busy about the sofa, where Madelon had passively and
wearily laid back her aching little head. "It was the very
best thing she could do. Nun, indeed! I have no great opinion
of convents, nor nuns either, myself; an idle pack—the best of
them only say more prayers than their neighbours, and there is
nothing very clever in that. I could do it myself, if I had
the time."
"But it is very singular," said the Countess, getting up.
"That is certainly the same little girl I travelled with from
Chaudfontaine this morning. I thought there was something odd
about her; she would not answer any of my questions. But there
is no convent at Chaudfontaine. Are you sure she is telling
you the truth?"
"Of course she is, Madame—I have known her since—since she was
that high," replied Madame Bertrand, with some indignation; a
reply so conclusive to herself, that its want of apparent
logic may be pardoned. "Tell me, mon enfant, where is your
convent that you speak of."
"At Liege," said Madelon, rousing and trying to sit up. "Aunt
Therese was the Superior, but she is dead. I walked to
Chaudfontaine in the night—and—oh, Madame Bertrand, don't let
them come and take me back!" She gave a terrified glance round
the room, and caught hold of Madame Bertrand.
"No one shall take you away; don't be afraid, chere petite;
but tell us all bout it. Walked to Chaudfontaine in the night!
Why, you must be half dead, poor little one! And what have you
come to Spa for—have you any friends here?"
"No," said Madelon, "I thought you would help me, and let me
stay here for a little while."
"And so you shall—for as long as you like," said Madame; "but
what have you come here for? Have you no friends to go to?"
"Yes—I—I—ah, I forgot!" cried Madelon, burying her face in her
hands. All of a sudden she remembered how she had intended
writing to Monsieur Horace, all that she had meant to say to
him, and how she would have asked him to come and help her—and
now all that was at an end. As to telling Madame Bertrand or
any one else of her cherished plans—never; that was her own
secret, which she would never, never part with, except to
Monsieur Horace himself. "I forgot," she cried, "I have no
one—ah? what shall I do, what shall I do?"
"Do!" said the Countess, interposing with much prompt energy,
"it is not difficult to know what you must do; you must go
back to the convent, of course. I never heard of anything so
improper as your running away."
"No, no, no," cried Madelon; "I cannot go back there—never;
they would kill me." She flung herself down on the sofa again,
while old Madame Bertrand tried to comfort her. No one should
make her go back; she was her chere petite, she would take
care of her—and was she not very hungry? would she like some
soup, or some cakes, or some bread and confiture?
Meanwhile the Countess was saying to Mademoiselle Henriette,
"This is a most extraordinary affair. If we do not take care,
your excellent aunt will be imposed upon; but I am going back
to Liege in an hour, and can perfectly well take the little
girl with me, and leave her at the convent."
"Indeed, Madame, we should be much indebted to you," said
mademoiselle Henriette, briskly; "it is evident that she has
no friends, and has come to my aunt simply because she was in
some way acquainted with her formerly. As you say, if we do
not take care we shall certainly have her on our hands; my
aunt is quite capable of it."
"Then that is easily settled," said the Countess; "I will take
charge of her. No thanks, Mademoiselle, I am only doing my
duty. I really do not know what young people of the present
day will come to. Does any one know what her name is, or
anything about her?"
Madame Bertrand, who had been vainly endeavouring to extract
from our desponding little Madelon any decided expression of
opinion on the subject of cakes or confitures, overheard this
last question. "Poor little one, I know her very well," she
said, lowering her voice confidentially, "her name is Linders;
her father was Monsieur Linders, a famous gambler—it was long
before you came here, Henriette, and Madame will not have
heard of him probably; but here in Spa he was well known, and
he used often to come to our hotel."
"Linders!" cried the Countess—"M. Linders—yes, certainly I
remember him perfectly, and the little girl too. M. Linders?—
of course, every one knew him."
"Ah! Madame, did you know my father?" said Madelon, raising
her head at these last words, and clasping her hands
imploringly; "be good to me then, I entreat of you; do not
speak of sending me back to the convent. I cannot go!"
There was something pitiful in the child's voice and gesture,
something pathetic in the little appeal to her father's
memory, that might have touched any one less animated by a
stern sense of duty than the Countess. As it was, she was not
in the least affected.
"On the contrary, mon enfant," she answered, "I shall be doing
you the greatest kindness, and no more than my duty, in taking
you back there; and we have agreed that you shall return with
me at once."
"I will not go!" cried Madelon, wildly; "I cannot, I will
not!—I will not! Do you hear? What right have you to take me?
I am not your child!—I will not go with you!"
She got up as she spoke, confronting the Countess, and trying
to throw all the energy of which she was capable into her
vehement words. But even in her own ears her voice sounded
shrill and weak, and seemed to die away as if she were talking
in her sleep; the very strength of her emotion appeared
unreal, and failing her when she most needed it: her words
seemed to have no meaning, and as she finished speaking, she
dropped down on her seat again with a little sob, feeling that
she was conquered, for she had no power of resistance left in
her.
So she lay upon the sofa in a sot of doze, while a tribunal of
three sat upon, condemned, and sentenced this poor little
criminal, who knew nothing of what they were saying after she
had made her own ineffectual little protest. Madame Bertrand,
indeed, good old soul, with the softest and kindest of hearts,
would not at first hear of her being sent away; she was fond
of the child, she said; she had known her for years, and felt
sure there was something in her story that they did not yet
understand. But Madame Bertrand was old—moreover, she was not
a little in awe of the niece whom she had called in to assist
her failing powers; moreover, she had perhaps a lurking idea
that they might after all be right, and that there was
something exceptionally heinous in running away from a
convent; so she was soon overruled by the other two, who
settled the matter in a very summary way—Madelon must return
to the convent with Madame la Comtesse that very day.
She was roused up presently, and made to drink some wine by
Madame Bertrand, who was in despair because she could eat none
of the good things she had provided, and felt nothing but and
old traitress, as Madelon stood up at last, looking about her
with dazed eyes; and then, without further opposition,
submissively put on her hat, took up her bundle, and prepared
to follow the Countess. Indeed, had Madame Bertrand known how
recently the child had recovered from a long illness, nothing,
I think, would have induced her to let her go; but she only
supposed she was over-tired with her strange night journey;
and, in fact, the wine and the rest together had so far
revived Madelon that she appeared quite capable of walking
down to the station with the Countess. Madame Bertrand gave
her great hug as she wished her good-bye, and was perhaps a
little aggrieved at the passive way in which Madelon received
it.
"If ever you want help, come back to me—will you not, mon
enfant?—and I will help you, if I can."
"Yes," said Madelon; "but they will not let me run away again;
will they?"
"Let you run away, ma petite?"
"Yes—Aunt Therese, you know. She won't let me do it again."
"Your aunt? You told me she was dead;" cried Madame.
"Yes, so she is," said Madelon. "I was forgetting, I think.
Good-bye, Madame Bertrand. You will let me stay next time,
will you not? But I must go now?" And she followed the
Countess out of the house without another word.
Madame la Comtesse, having got her own way, was kind enough to
the child who had so unwittingly strayed across her path. When
they reached the station she gave her her ticket, made her sit
down in the waiting-room, and even offered her refreshment in
the interval before the train started. Indeed, we should err
if we attributed to the Countess, whom this little episode in
our Madelon's history has brought for the second, and we may
trust for the last, time before us—we should err, I say, in
attributing to her any feeling of ill-will towards Madelon, or
any special interest in her conduct or fate. Neither need it
be imagined that she was actuated by any large views of duty
towards the world in general: she was not at all benevolent,
but neither was she particularly ill-natured; she was merely a
shallow-minded, frivolous woman, who, having long since
lowered her standard of perfection to suit her own
attainments, saw fit to measure every one else by her own
narrow ideal, and to set them right where they proved
themselves wanting—a convenient process, which enabled her to
satisfy her vague sense of duty, and right and wrong, without
any reference to her own possible shortcomings. In capturing
our little stray Madelon, and taking her back to the convent,
she felt she was doing a deed that would afford her matter for
self-congratulation for days to come; and she was gracious and
affable accordingly, speaking to Madelon in a tone of
condescending good-nature, which was quite lost upon the
child, who was beyond caring for kindness or unkindness just
then. She was only conscious of some terrible burden, which
she could not define nor reason upon, but which seemed to
oppress and weigh her down, making her incapable of thought,
or speech, or motion. When they got into the railway-carriage
she could only lean back in the corner, with a general sense
that something dreadful had happened, or was going to happen;
but that her head ached too much, and felt too confused, for
her to remember what it was all about.
They changed carriages at Pepinster, and, still in the same
dream of misery, Madelon followed the Countess from one train
to another. They set off again, but presently, as the
slackening speed showed that they were approaching another
station, she suddenly woke up to the keenest perception of her
situation, with a quickening of her numbed senses to the most
vivid realization of all she had lost, of all she might have
to endure. Ah! it was all true, and no dream—she had run away
from the convent to make Monsieur Horace's fortune; and she
had not done it, and now all was over, and she was being taken
back to the convent—and there would be no more chance of
escape for her—never more. In the agony of this thought she
turned towards the Countess, with a half-formed intention of
throwing herself at her feet, and imploring, in such voice and
accents as should admit of no refusal, to be allowed to go
away—anyhow, anywhere, only as far as possible from Liege. But
she checked herself as she saw that the Countess, with a
handkerchief thrown over her face, had comfortably composed
herself to sleep in one corner, and a new idea suggested
itself as the train stopped at a little village station. The
child glanced towards the woman; she still slept, or appeared
to do so, and the next moment Madelon had opened the door,
and, taking up her bundle, had slid swiftly and silently out
of the carriage.
The train moved on, and a drowsy Countess might presently
awake to find with astonishment that she was alone in the
compartment; but our little Madelon, left standing on the
platform, had slipped out of her sight and knowledge for ever.
The Restaurant at Le Trooz.
The train disappeared, and our forlorn little Madelon remained
standing alone on the platform. Forlorn, indeed! It was
raining hard now, a thick, persistent drizzle, through which
everything looked dim and blurred, and which was almost as
dense as the low-hanging mists that hid the tops of the hills.
Madelon stood still and shivered for a minute, clutching her
little bundle under her cloak, and trying to collect her
ideas.
Not a hundred yards off was the village, lying between the
hills in the next valley to Chaudfontaine, and not more than
three miles from that place, but shut out from it by a barrier
of rocky, wooded hill, round which there was only just space
for the road and stream to wind; an amphibious little village,
half in and half out of the water apparently, for it stood
just where the stream spread out in wide shallows, round low
islands, on and amongst which the houses were clustered and
scattered. Madelon instinctively turned towards it; she had
the very vaguest idea in her poor, bewildered little brain as
to where she was, or what she was going to do, only one thing
obvious in the surrounding uncertainties—that she could not
remain standing on the platform in the pouring rain. She gave
up her ticket mechanically, passed through the gate, and
followed the muddy road leading to the cottages. She was very
tired, she had never felt quite so tired before, and her knees
trembled as they had done that day when the fever came on at
the convent; she was so dizzy too, that she had to stop now
and then, to grasp the one fact of her being where she was and
not somewhere else altogether; her single idea was to go on
walking until—until when? That was a question she could not
have answered, only somewhere she must go, where she would be
out of the way of countess or nuns, or any other enemy who
might be lying in wait to pounce upon her. This was all she
thought about as she passed along the village street, which
was dull and deserted-looking enough on this wet, grey
afternoon, till the sight of a church with an open door,
suggested something quite different, and which was a positive
relief after that nightmare motion of walking perpetually with
failing limbs, and a sense of pursuit behind. She would go in
there, and sit down and rest for a little while. By-and-by,
when the giddiness and trembling had gone off, she would be
better able to think of what she should do; she would be out
of the rain, too, there—the cold rain, which had already
drenched her cloak and skirt.
She went in; it was a village church of the simplest
description, very small, with plain wooden benches and
confessionals, and a high altar with inexpensive decorations,
in nowise remarkable. But hardly was Madelon inside the door,
when she stood suddenly motionless, transfixed by a horrible
terror that, weak and exhausted as she was, wholly seized and
gained possession of her; for, raised in the middle of the
aisle, covered with a black velvet pall and with a row of tall
candles on either side, stood a coffin, with white embroidery
of death's heads on the pall, and little banners with painted
death's heads decorating every candle. To the terrified,
speechless child, the skulls seemed to become animated—to
grin; they seemed to move; the whole air was suddenly full of
them, chattering, dancing, swarming round her; she tried to
scream, but could not; she turned to fly from the dreadful,
haunted spot, but with the first step she made, strength and
consciousness gave way altogether, and she sank senseless to
the ground.
Ten minutes later, a woman of the village, coming in to see
the preparations for the funeral of Monsieur N——, lately one
of the great proprietors of the neighbourhood, nearly stumbled
over Madelon's prostrate form. She started back, half uttering
an exclamation of surprise and alarm; then, seeing that it was
a child who was lying so still upon the stone floor, she knelt
down by her, laid her head in her lap, and began rubbing her
hands. Madelon was not quite unconscious, apparently, for she
moved her head uneasily, and uttered a low moan. "She is not
dead, at any rate," muttered the woman, still chafing the cold
little hands, while she studied the small white face, the
short rings of hair just appearing under the hat all crushed
in her fall, the bundle lying at her side, and the worn frock
and cloak soaked with rain. "I wonder if she is alone?" added
the woman to herself. She glances round the empty church, then
gently laying Madelon on the floor again, with a cushion to
support her head, she went to the door, and peered out into
the rain for a few moments; then, returning, without calling
for help, or summoning any one, she stooped down, took Madelon
in her arms—which, indeed, she was well able to do, for she
was a tall, strong woman, between thirty and forty, and the
child was very slight and thin after her recent illness—and
carried her out of the church, down the street, towards the
end of the village. No one was stirring in the pouring rain,
or seemed to notice her, except one or two boys, who ran after
her shouting and singing—"Eh, Jeanne-Marie, Jeanne-Marie—what
have you got to-day, Jeanne-Marie?" And to them she gave no
sort of heed, walking steadily and swiftly on, without even
turning her head, till she paused before a low, white-washed
cottage, standing a little apart from the village, between the
poplars that bordered the road. In front was a bench, and on
one side a vine, all dripping and forlorn, was trained over a
trellis that sloped from the roof, and, with wooden supports,
made a shelter for a row of bee-hives placed on a plank
beneath; under the front gable was a wicker contrivance for
pigeons, and below it, in large gold letters on a blue board,
the words, "Cafe et Restaurant." The door opened at once into
the little public room of the humblest pretentions, furnished
with a cupboard containing a store of bottles and glasses, a
stove in one corner, above it some bright copper tea-kettles,
a dozen chairs, and a deal table pushed near the one small
window that looked out on the road and the stream beyond, and
then across fields, and meadows, and trees, to the hills. A
man, with a heavy, loutish face and figure, was sitting with
his arms on the table, twirling a glass about in his fingers,
a bottle half full of vine before him. He turned round as
Jeanne-Marie entered with Madelon in her arms, and rising
slowly went towards them.
"Eh, Jeanne-Marie, what have you got there?" he said.
"Does that concern you?" answered the woman sharply enough;
"drink your wine, Jacques Monnier, and do not trouble yourself
with other people's affairs."
"Est-elle morte, la petite?" asked Jacques, recoiling at the
sight of Madelon's white face.
"Est-elle morte?" repeated Jeanne-Marie, "and with her eyes as
wide open as yours! Allons, mon enfant, du courage," she
added, as Madelon opened her eyes for a moment; but she closed
them again, and the woman looking round, said, "There will be
no peace here, with you men coming in and out. Open that door
for me, Jacques," pointing to one nearly opposite the
entrance.
The man obeyed. It opened at the bottom of the ladder-like
staircase, a gleam of light from above, showing where another
door at the top step led into a small bed-room. Jeanne-Marie
carried Madelon upstairs like a baby, took off her hat and
damp cloak, laid her on the bed, and then ran downstairs again
for a glass of cordial.
Madelon, however, was already reviving, and when Jeanne-Marie
went up to her again, she raised herself on the bed, resting
on one elbow, and fixed her large eyes upon the woman, first
with a look of blank unconsciousness, and then with a sudden
light of terror in them, as of some wild hunted thing just
caught by its pursuers.
"Don't take me back to the convent!" she cried in sharp,
piteous accents; "don't take me back; I can't go, I can't—no,
no, no!"
"No one shall take you back," said Jeanne-Marie, trying to
soothe her. But she paid no heed.
"Indeed I can't go. Ah, Madame, you said you knew papa; have
pity upon me! I promised him I would never be a nun. He died,
you know, and sent me to the convent at Liege to be with Aunt
Therese; but he made me promise before he died. I can't go
back—I should die too. Ah, Madame, have pity on me!"
She was kneeling on the bed now, her hands clasped with her
pitiful little imploring gesture. Jeanne-Marie came close to
her, and smoothed back her hair caressingly with her rough
work-a-day fingers.
"Soyez tranquille, mon enfant," she said, "you shall not be
taken back to the convent, and no one shall make you a nun."
"You promise?" said Madelon, catching hold of her arm, and
looking into her face with eager, suspicious eyes; "you
promise not to take me back?"
"Yes, I promise," said the woman; "fear nothing, ma petite."
"And you won't tell Aunt Therese that I ran away? For she
would be so angry, you know; she wanted to make me a nun like
herself; you won't tell her—you won't, you won't?"
"No, no," said Jeanne-Marie. "I will tell nothing, you are
quite safe here; now lie down and be quiet, and I will give
you something nice to drink."
But Madelon's eyes wandered; the terrified look came again,
and she clung tighter and tighter to Jeanne-Marie.
"Please ask Aunt Therese to go away!" she cried; "she is
standing there in the corner of the room, staring at me; she
will not move—there—there she is, don't you see? Oh, tell her
to go away—she stares at me so, and oh! there is a coffin at
her side, it is all over death's heads; Aunt Therese has a
death's head—oh! take me away, take me away!"
With a shriek of terror the child threw herself back on the
bed, covering her eyes with her hands, burying her face in the
pillow.
Jeanne-Marie went to the top of the stairs and called "Jacques
Monnier!"
"Hein?" said the man, coming slowly to the door below, and
standing with his broad figure framed in it.
"Jacques," said Jeanne-Marie, "go at once for the doctor, and
tell him to come here, for some one is very ill."
"Hein?" said Jacques again, "does that concern me? I must
attend to my own affairs, and finish my wine, Jeanne-Marie."
"If you do not go this moment," said the woman, with a little
stamp of her foot, "you shall never taste my wine again, with
or without payment, Jacques, et je tiens parole, moi!"
"There is other wine to be had in Le Trooz," answered the man
sulkily, but moving nevertheless towards the entrance, when
she was recalled by Jeanne-Marie.
"Jacques," she said, coming two or three steps down the
stairs, "if Monsieur le Docteur inquires who is ill, you will
say it is my niece."
"But she is then your niece, la petite," said Jacques,
scratching his head as an outward expression of some inward
perplexity.
"You will tell Monsieur le Docteur what I say," repeated
Jeanne-Marie imperiously, "and make haste;" and she went
upstairs again, and closed the bed-room with a certain
emphasis, as though to prevent further discussion.
Madelon was still lying on the bed, with her face buried in
the pillow; a violent shivering of cold or of fear had seized
her, but she resisted Jeanne-Marie's efforts to raise her with
the obstinacy of a strong will acted on by intense physical
alarm. But at length the woman's persuasive words appeared to
have a soothing effect, though she seemed scarcely to take in
their meaning, for she allowed herself to be undressed and put
into bed, and after taking some warm drink, fell into a
restless, starting sleep.
Jeanne-Marie drew a curtain across the small window, so as to
shut out the slanting sunbeams, which were pouring into the
room, on to the patchwork quilt and white pillow where the
little feverish head lay so uneasily; then, taking up her
knitting, she sat down by the bedside, and as she mechanically
added row after row to the blue worsted stocking, she
reflected. From Madelon's few distracted words, she imagined
that she knew the state of the case very well; it was one not
unprecedented, and presented no difficulties to either
comprehension of belief. "They wanted to bring her up as a
nun, and so she ran away. Well, thou hast done wisely, little
one; I also know something of convents and nuns, and if it
depends on me to protect thee, they shall not touch thee, mon
enfant." This was her final resolution as she sat knitting and
reflecting, with a great sympathy with, and tenderness for,
the poor little terrified, hunted girl, lying there at her
mercy.
Such tenderness, and power of sympathy with distress, were
indeed amongst Jeanne-Marie's strongest characteristics,
hidden though they were under a harsh, imperious manner and
exterior. For she too had had a strange, sad, troublous life,
with tragedy and sorrow enough in it, which it does not
concern us to relate here, and which were yet of no small
concern to our little Madelon, as she lay there, dependent on
this one woman for freedom, shelter, and even existence. For
if, as is surely the case, in our life of to-day lies a whole
prophecy of our life in the future, if in our most trivial
actions is hidden the germ of our greatest deeds, then our
most momentous decision in some sudden emergency, is but the
sure consummation and fruition of each unnoticed detail, our
action of to-day but the inevitable result of a whole precious
lifetime of preparation for some unforeseen crisis. So, too,
from a present habit of thought, much may be surmised as to
what has been done and suffered in the past; and though little
was known about Jeanne-Marie, some inferences might have been
drawn concerning her former life, had any of her neighbours
been skilled in the inductive method, or been sufficiently
interested in the woman to study her character closely. But in
fact they cared very little about her. It is true that when
she had first come into the village, there had been many
conjectures about her set afloat. She did not belong to that
part of the country, she could not even speak the Liege
patois, and never took the trouble to learn it, invariably
using the French language. She had no belongings, and never
spoke of her former life; so that it was not long before a
vague, open-mouthed curiosity, seizing upon a thousand
untested hints and rumours to satisfy itself withal, led the
villagers to whisper among themselves that some strange
history was attached to her; and woe to that woman who, in a
small village, is accredited with a strange history that no
one knows anything about! But Jeanne-Marie had outlived all
this; her secrets, if she had any, were never revealed either
then or later, and in time people had ceased to trouble
themselves about her. She led a silent, solitary life,
resenting perhaps the suspicion with which she had at first
been received, and holding aloof from her neighbours as they
held aloof from her. Her restaurant was well attended, for she
gave the best wine in the village, was liberal, and of an
honesty above suspicion; but even the men who were her most
constant customers did not like her, and were half afraid of
her. She held imperious rule among them, issuing imperative
commands which she expected to be obeyed, and enforcing strict
order and regularity in her house. To the women of the village
her manners were cold, abrupt, and reserved; she never stopped
to gossip or chatter; she would come and go about her business
without an unnecessary word, and the women, looking after her,
had ceased to do more than shrug their shoulders, and resume
the flow of talk her silent presence had checked.
But it was, after all, only the gay, and prosperous, and happy
that she shunned. The poor, the friendless, the erring, the
rejected of this world, were certain to find in Jeanne-Marie a
friend who never failed, one who looked out for the sorrowful
and broken-hearted, and never passed by on the other side.
Even the village children knew to whom to run when hurt, or
unhappy, or in disgrace, sure of getting consolation and
sugar-plums from the sad, lonely woman, though equally sure of
being sent away as soon as their tears were dried, and their
troubles forgotten. If the poor, abused Ugly Duckling of Hans
Andersen's tale had strayed on a wintry day to her door, she
would have taken it in, and nourished, and cherished it all
through the cold, dark weather; but when the summer was come,
and the duckling grown into a swan, spread its broad white
wings against the blue sky, she would have watched it fly away
without word or sign to detain it; she would have had nothing
in common with it then.
So to Jeanne-Marie it seemed the simplest thing in the world,
that, having found Madelon in need of help, she should help
her at the cost of any trouble to herself; that she should
take in, and cherish this poor little stray girl without
inquiry, without hope, or thought of reward. At Madelon,
happy, successful, contented, Jeanne-Marie would not have
looked a second time; but for Madelon, forsaken, shelterless,
dependent on her, she would have been ready almost to lay down
her life.
In about half an hour, Jacques Monnier returned with the
doctor. He knew Jeanne-Marie well, as he knew everyone in the
village, and went at once upstairs to the little bedroom where
Madelon was lying.
"Your niece, I think Jacques Monnier told me?" he said, after
watching Madelon for a minute as she lay in her uneasy sleep.
"Yes," said Jeanne-Marie with a certain sullenness of manner,
which she was apt to display towards her superiors in station.
"Has she been here long?" said the doctor, feeling Madelon's
pulse, but looking steadily at the woman; "when was she taken
ill? How is it you have not called me in before?"
"Look here, Monsieur le Docteur," answered Jeanne-Marie with a
sort of stolid defiance, "I called you in to tell me what to
do for the child, not to put me through a catechism. She
fainted away this morning, and when she came to herself again,
she began to rave and talk nonsense, so I sent for you. Now
tell me what is to be done."
Just then Madelon opened her eyes.
"Do you not know me, Madame?" she said. "I am Madeleine
Linders, and papa is dead; he sent me to be with Aunt Therese,
but she is dead too—Oh, save me, save me!" she cried,
springing up with all the old terror upon her; "don't let them
take me, papa, you made me promise that I would not stay
there. Tell Aunt Therese to go away, papa; papa, save me!" and
she clung to the doctor's arm. "Besides, you know," she went
on, speaking fast and eagerly, "I promised him—Monsieur
Horace, you know—and I must keep it, I must keep my promise to
Monsieur Horace,—I must, I must!"
"You hear?" said Jeanne-Marie, as Madelon fell back on the
pillow again muttering to herself.
"I hear," answered the doctor, "and I see that she is in a
high fever, and it may go hard with her, poor child! It is
fortunate she is with you, Jeanne-Marie," he went on, kindly,
"for you are a capital nurse, I know; but I am afraid it will
be a long business."
"That is no matter," she answered.
"If you would like to have her removed to the hospital at
Liege," continued the doctor, doubtfully, "it might still be
done. It may injure your business to have her here. Still, as
you say she is your niece——"
"As I say she is my niece," returned Jeanne-Marie, abruptly,
"it is not likely I should turn her out of the house, and that
is enough. My business will take care of itself. And now tell
me what I am to do, doctor?"
He prescribed for Madelon, said he would call again, and left
the house, pondering on the woman who kept so apart from her
neighbours, and on her small visitor, who he knew well enough
was not her niece, for had not Jacques Monnier told him how
Jeanne-Marie had suddenly come in out of the rain, carrying
the girl in her arms, and had taken her upstairs without a
word of explanation?
"There is a mystery somewhere," thought the doctor; "but it is
no concern of mine." And so he went his way to visit his next
patient.
Jeanne-Marie had no fears concerning the doctor's discretion;
he was a man too busy in his scattered district to have much
time or inclination for gossip. But she had far less
confidence in Jacques Monnier's wisdom, and thought it not
inexpedient to go downstairs, after the doctor's departure,
and give her customer a word of exhortation. He was seated at
the table as before, twirling the glass in his fingers, and
gazing vacantly out of window.
"Well, Jacques," said Jeanne-Marie, "and what did you tell the
doctor?"
"I told him what you told me," said the man, in a surly voice.
"What was that?"
"That your niece was ill, and that he was to come and see
her."
"Was that all?"
No answer.
"Was that all?" repeated Jeanne-Marie. "Allons, Jacques, don't
keep me waiting. I will know what you said to the doctor."
Jacques, who under other circumstances might have met this
imperative mode of questioning by dogged silence, or an
evasive answer, was too uncertain as to what the doctor
himself might have repeated to Jeanne-Marie, to attempt
equivocation.
"I told him," he said, slowly and reluctantly, "that it was a
queer thing you should have picked up your niece in the
street, and that I didn't believe she was your niece at all;
and no more I do, Jeanne-Marie," he added, gaining courage as
he spoke.
"Ah! you told him that?" said the woman. "Well, look you,
Jacques, if I find you saying any such thing again, this is
the very last time you cross my door-step, and that account of
yours will have to be paid in full next week. You understand?"
"Oh! yes, I understand well enough," he answered sulkily; "but
if I hold my tongue the neighbours will talk; I am not the
only person who saw you come through the street, I will answer
for it."
"Who said I came through the village at all? And what does it
matter to you what the neighbours say?" retorted Jeanne-Marie,
"attend to what I say—that is enough for you, Jacques—and if
you do hear anyone say anything about the child upstairs, tell
them it is my niece come on a visit, and not a word more;
otherwise you understand——"
"Oh! yes, I understand," he repeated grumbling, "but what do I
care? Yours is not the only wine to be had in Le Trooz——"
"Bah!" was Jeanne-Marie's only answer, as she left the room.
She knew her customer too well to be in the least afraid of
his carrying his implied threat into execution. Indeed,
Jacques Monnier, who had no mind to be ousted from the
convenient little restaurant, where he got good wine and long
credit, acted upon the hints he had received, and stuck
manfully to Jeanne-Marie's version of her adventure. And so it
happened, that although for a day or two a few rumours were
afloat in the village, they soon died away; and it was
received as an established fact by those who cared to interest
themselves in Jeanne-Marie's affairs, that it was her niece
whom the doctor went to see so regularly. And so much apart
did Jeanne-Marie keep from her neighbours, that the subject
was soon half-forgotten, and Madelon's very existence seemed
problematic, as she lay in the little upstairs room, and the
woman who sheltered her, appeared to come and go about her
business much the same as usual.
As for Jeanne-Marie, as soon as the house was quiet, on the
evening of that day so eventful for our little Madelon, she
sat down and wrote two letters: one she put into a large
envelope, which she directed to a street in Paris; the other,
inclosed in the first, was addressed to the Superior of the
Convent at Liege, and the letters, with their Paris direction,
were put into the post that very night.
Madelon's Convalescence.
Madelon, if she had but known it, had small reason to
apprehend any very vigorous pursuit on the part of the nuns.
There was, it is true, no small commotion in the convent, when
Soeur Lucie, entering Madelon's cell the morning after her
flight, found the empty room, the unslept-on bed. She did not
indeed realize at first that the child had run away; but when,
after inquiry and search through the whole convent, she found
that nothing had been seen or heard of her, since she herself
had quitted the cell the previous evening, then the whole
truth became apparent, and a general sense of consternation
pervaded the sisterhood. It was the enormity of the offence
that struck them aghast, the boldness of the attempt, and its
complete success. It was altogether a new idea to them that
any one should wish to escape from those walls; an appalling
one that any one should make such an attempt, and succeed.
Soeur Lucie, held responsible for Madelon, was summoned before
the Superior, questioned, cross-questioned, and, amid tears
and sobs, could only repeat that she had left her charge as
usual, the evening before; and that, in the morning, going to
her cell, had discovered that she had vanished; how, or when,
or whither, she could not imagine. How she had escaped was
indeed at first a mystery, which could not fail to rouse an
eager curiosity in the sisters, and a not unpleasing
excitement succeeded the first indignation, as, with one
accord, they ran to examine Madelon's room. The window stood
wide open, the branches of the climbing rose-trees were broken
here and there, small footsteps could be traced on the flower-
bed below. It was all that was needed to make their
supposition a certainty—Madelon had run away.
This point settled, a calmer feeling began to prevail, and, as
their first consternation subsided, the nuns began to reflect
that after all worse things might have happened. If it had
been one of themselves indeed, that would have been a very
different matter; such a sin, such a scandal could not even be
thought of without horror. But this little stray girl, who
belonged to nobody, whom nobody had cared for, who had been a
trouble ever since she had come, and who had been left a
burthen and a responsibility on their hands—why should they
concern themselves so much about her flight? No doubt she had
made her escape to some friends she had known before she was
brought to the convent, from no one knew where, two or three
years ago. The nuns were not more averse than other people to
the drawing of convenient conclusions from insufficient
premises, and this theory of Madelon's having run away to her
friends once started, every one was ready to add their mite of
evidence in aid of its confirmation. Some thought she had
possibly started for England—it was an Englishman who had
brought her to the convent; others that she had friends in
Paris—it certainly was from Paris she had come; one suggested
one thing, and one another, and in the meantime, though
inquiries were made, the search was neither very energetic nor
very determined. When the evening came, it was generally felt
to be rather a relief than otherwise that nothing had been
heard of the small runaway. What could they do with her if she
came back? No one felt disposed to put in a claim for her—
least of all Soeur Lucie, whom she had brought into terrible
disgrace, and who had yet been really fond of the child, and
who for months after had a pang in her kind little heart
whenever she thought of her wayward charge. And so, when, two
days later, a letter, with neither date nor signature, but
bearing a Paris post-mark, arrived for the Superior,
announcing that Mademoiselle Madeleine Linders was with
friends, and that it was useless for any one to attempt to
find her or reclaim her, for they had her in safe keeping, and
would never consent to part with her, every one felt that the
matter was arranged in the most satisfactory manner possible,
and troubled themselves no more.
As for the Countess G——, there had been a flatness about the
termination of her share in Madelon's adventures that
effectually put a stop to any desire on her part to pursue the
matter further; and finding, on her arrival at Liege, that her
husband was obliged to start for Brussels that very afternoon,
she found it convenient altogether to dismiss the subject from
her mind. With her departure from Liege, we also gladly
dismiss her from these pages for ever.
So Madelon, tossing and moaning on her bed of sickness, is
once more all alone in the world, except for Jeanne-Marie, to
whom, before two days were over, she had somehow become the
one absorbing interest in life. The lonely woman, whose
sympathies and affections had, as one might guess, been all
bruised, and warped, and crushed in some desperate struggle,
or in some long agony, found a new channel for them in an
indescribable, yearning love for the little pale girl whom she
had rescued, and by whose side she sat hour after hour,
wondering, as she listened to her wild broken talk about her
father and Monsieur Horace, Aunt Therese, and Soeur Lucie, what
the child's past life could have been, and by what strange
chances she had come to be in such evil straits. A new world
of hopes and fears, of interests and anxieties, seemed to have
suddenly opened for Jeanne-Marie, as she sat in the little
upper chamber; whilst in the public room downstairs the rough
men, in obedience to her word, sat silently drinking and
smoking, or talking in subdued voices, so that no disturbing
sound might reach the sick child above.
Madelon's second attack of fever was far worse than the first.
Weakened as she was by her former illness, it was an almost
hopeless fight with death that was carried on for days; and
when the crisis came at last, the doctor himself declared that
it was scarcely possible that she should rally, and be
restored to life and reason. But the crisis passed, and
Madelon was once more safe. She awoke about midnight to the
confused consciousness of a strange room, perplexing her with
unfamiliar surroundings. A dim light burned before the
coloured picture of a saint that hung on the rough white-
washed wall, and by its uncertain gleams she could distinguish
the rude furniture, the patchwork quilt, the heavy rafters
that crossed above her head. The window stood wide open,
letting in the night scents of the flowers in the garden
below; she could see a space of dark, star-lit sky; and hear
the rustling of the trees, the whispering of the breeze among
the vine-leaves that clustered about the window. Her eyes
wandered round with vague bewilderment, the flickering light
and long shadows only seeming to confuse her more, as she
tried to reconcile her broken, shadowy memories with the
present realities, which seemed more dreamlike still.
The door opened, and Jeanne-Marie came in, holding another
candle, which she shaded with her hand, as she stood by the
bed for a moment, looking down upon Madelon.
"You are better," she said at last, setting down the candle on
the table behind her, and smoothing the pillow and coverlet.
Her voice was like her face, harsh and melancholy, but with a
tender, pathetic ring in it at times.
"Am I?" said Madelon. "Have I been ill again? Where is Soeur
Lucie? This is not the convent—where am I?"
"You are not at the convent now," answered Jeanne-Marie. "I am
taking care of you, and you must lie very still, and go to
sleep again when you have taken this."
Madelon drank off her medicine, but she was not satisfied, and
in a moment her brain was at work again.
"I can't make out where I am," she said, looking up at Jeanne-
Marie with the old wistful look in her eyes—"is it in an
hotel? —is papa coming? I thought I was at the convent with
Aunt Therese. Ah! do help me!"
"I will tell you nothing unless you lie still," said Jeanne-
Marie, as Madelon made a most futile attempt to raise herself
in bed. She considered a moment, and then said—"Don't you
remember, ma petite? Your papa is dead, and you are not at the
convent any more, and need not go back there unless you like.
You are with me, Jeanne-Marie, at Le Trooz, and I will take
care of you till you are well. Now you are not to talk any
more."
Madelon lay silent for a minute. "Yes, I remember," she said
at last, slowly. "Papa is dead, and Monsieur Horace—he is not
here?" she cried, with startling eagerness.
"No, no," said Jeanne-Marie, "no one is here but me."
"Because you know," Madelon went on, "I cannot see him yet—I
cannot—it would not do to see him, you know, till—till—ah! you
do not know about that——" She stopped suddenly, and Jeanne-
Marie smoothed the pillow again with her rough, kindly hands.
"I know that you must go to sleep now, and that I shall not
say a word more to you to-night," she said; and then, without
heeding Madelon's further questions, she put out the light,
and sat silently by the bedside till the child was once more
asleep.
Madelon did not recover readily from this second attack. Even
when she was pronounced wholly out of danger, there were the
weariest days to be passed, relapses, weakness, languor.
Flowers bloomed and faded in the garden below, the scent of
the roses perfumed the air, the red-tipped vine-shoots growing
upwards narrowed the space of blue sky seen through the little
window, till the sun shone in softened by a screen of glowing
green leaves; and all through these lengthening summer days
our pale little Madelon lay on her sick bed, very still, and
patient, and uncomplaining, and so gentle and grateful to
Jeanne-Marie, who nursed and watched her unceasingly with her
harsh tenderness, that a passionate affection seized the hard,
lonely woman, for the forlorn little stranger who was so
dependent upon her, and who owed everything to her compassion
and care.
It was not long before a recollection of the past came back to
Madelon, sufficiently clear, until the moment of her jumping
out of the train at Le Trooz; after that she could remember
nothing distinctly, only a general sense of misery, and pain,
and terror. She asked Jeanne-Marie numberless questions, as to
how and where she had found her, and what she had said.
"How did you know that I had run away from the convent?" she
asked.
"You said so," answered Jeanne-Marie. "You were afraid that
your aunt would come and take you back."
"Aunt Therese is dead," said Madelon. "I remember it all very
well now. Did I tell you that? And did I tell you about papa,
too? How strange that I should not remember having said so
many things," she added, as the woman replied in the
affirmative.
"Not at all strange," replied Jeanne-Marie. "People often talk
like that when ill, and recollect nothing of it afterwards."
"Still, it is very odd," said Madelon, musing; and then she
added, suddenly, "Did I talk of any one else?"
"Of plenty of people," replied Jeanne-Marie. "Soeur Lucie, and
Soeur Francoise, and numbers of others."
"Ah! yes; but I don't mean in the convent!—any one out of the
convent, I mean? Did I talk of—Monsieur Horace?"
"Sometimes," said Jeanne-Marie, counting her stitches
composedly.
"What did I say about him?" asked Madelon, anxiously. "Please
will you tell me? I can't remember, you know."
Jeanne-Marie looked at her for a moment, and then said, rather
bluntly,—
"Nothing that anybody could understand. You called to him, and
then you told him not to come; that was all, and not common
sense either."
"Ah, that is all right," said Madelon, satisfied; her secret
at least was safe, and never, never, should it be revealed
till she had accomplished her task. As she once more mentally
recorded this little vow, she looked at Jeanne-Marie, who was
still sitting by her bedside knitting.
"Jeanne-Marie," she said in her tired, feeble little voice,
and putting out one of her small thin hands, "you are very,
very good to me; I can't think how any one can be so kind as
you are; I shall love you all my life. What would have become
of me if you had not found me and taken such care of me?"
"What will become of you if you don't leave off talking, and
do as the doctor bids you?" said Jeanne-Marie, stopping her
little speech; "he said you were to be quite quiet, and here
have you been chattering this half-hour; now I am going to get
your dinner."
As she became stronger, Madelon would sometimes have long
conversations with Jeanne-Marie—in which she would tell her
much about her past life, of her father, of how happy she had
been as a little child, of how miserable she had been in the
convent, and of how she had hated the life there. But more
often she would lie still for hours, almost perfectly silent,
thinking, brooding over something—Jeanne-Marie would wonder
what. Madelon never told her; she had begun to love and cling
to the woman, almost the only friend she had in the world, but
not even in her would she confide; she had made the resolution
to tell no one of her plans and hopes, to trust no one, lest
her purpose should in any way be frustrated; and she kept to
it, though at the cost of some pain and trouble, so natural is
it to seek for help and sympathy.
Madelon's fixed idea had returned to her with redoubled force
since her illness. Her one failure had only added intensity to
her purpose since her first sense of discouragement had passed
away; there was something in the child's nature that refused
to acknowledge defeat as such, and she was only eager to begin
again. Our poor little Madelon, with her strange experiences
and inexperiences, her untutored faiths and instincts, shaking
off all rule, ignorant of all conventionalities, only bent,
amidst difficulties, and obstacles, and delays, on steadily
working towards one fixed and well-defined end—surely, tried
by any of the received laws of polite society, concerning
correct, well-educated young ladies of thirteen, she would be
found sadly wanting. Shall we blame her? or shall we not
rather, with a kindly compassion, try for a while to
understand from what point of view she had learnt to look at
life, and to arrive at some comprehension of, and sympathy
with her.
In the meantime, though it was evident she could do nothing
till she was well again, an old perplexity was beginning to
trouble Madelon; what was she to do without money? Once, a
strange chance—which, with a touch of convent superstition
that had been grafted on her mind, she was half disposed to
look upon as miraculous—had provided the requisite sum, but
the most sanguine hopes could hardly point to the repetition
of such a miracle or chance, and during long hours, when
Jeanne-Marie was attending to her customers below, or sitting
at her side, knitting, Madelon's brain was for ever working on
this old problem that had proved so hard before, when she sat
thinking it out in the convent cell. But at any rate she was
free here; she might come and go without scaling walls, or
fear of pursuing nuns; and then could she not earn some money?
The thought was an inspiration to Madelon—yes, when she was
strong and well enough, she would work day and night till she
had gained it. If she were only well.
It was about this time that Jeanne-Marie perceived a change in
her patient, hitherto so still and resigned, a certain uneasy
restlessness and longing to be up and about again.
"Jeanne-Marie, do you think I shall soon be well?" she would
ask again and again; "do you think the doctor will soon let me
get up?"
"You will never be well if you toss about like that," Jeanne-
Marie said grimly, one evening; "lie still, and I will tell
you some stories."
She sat down by her, and, as she knitted, told her one story
after another, fairy-tales for the most part, old stories that
Madelon knew by heart from her early studies in the German
picture-books and similar works. But Jeanne-Marie told them
well, and somehow they seemed invested with a new interest for
Madelon, as she half unconsciously contrasted her own
experiences with those of the heroes and heroines, and found
in their adventures some far-fetched parallel to her own. But
then their experiences were so much wider and more varied in
that old charmed, sunny, fairy life; the knot of their
difficulties was so readily cut, by a simple reference to some
Fortunatus' purse, or the arrival in the very nick of time of
some friendly fairy. Madelon did not draw the parallel quite
far enough, or it might have occurred to her that benevolence
did not become wholly extinct with the disappearance of
fairies, and that friendly interference is not quite unknown
even in these more prosaic days. The Fortunatus' purse, it is
true, might awake a sense of comparison, but who could have
looked at Jeanne-Marie's homely features, and have dreamed of
her in connexion with a fairy? In truth, it requires a larger
and deeper experience than any that Madelon could have
acquired, or reasoned out, to recognise how much of the charm
of these tales of our childhood can be traced to the eternal
truths that lie hidden in them, or to perceive that the
shining fairy concealed beneath the frequent guise of some
crabbed old woman, is no mere freak of fancy, but the symbol
of a reality, less exceptional perhaps amongst us poor
mortals, than amongst the fairies themselves, who, finding
their presence no longer needed, vanished from our earth so
many centuries ago.
It was the next morning, that, after the doctor's visit was
over, Jeanne-Marie returned to the bedroom, with the air of
having tidings to impart.
"You will be satisfied now, I hope," she said, as she met the
gaze of the restless brown eyes. "M. le Docteur says you may
get up for an hour this afternoon."
"Does he?" cried Madelon, eagerly; "then he thinks I am
better—that I shall soon be well."
"Of course you are better," said Jeanne-Marie—"you are getting
stronger every day; you will soon be quite well again."
"And how soon shall I be able to go out?—to go on a journey,
for instance?"
"You are, then, very anxious to get away?" asked Jeanne-Marie.
"But yes," said Madelon naively, "I must go as soon as
possible."
"Ah, well," said the woman, stifling a sigh, "that is only
natural; but there is no hurry, you will not be able to go
yet."
"No," said Madelon, sadly, "I shall not be able to go yet."
She did not remark Jeanne-Marie's sad voice, nor the unwonted
tears that filled her eyes; the woman felt half heart-broken
at what she imagined to be her charge's indifference. Madelon
was not indifferent or ungrateful, but her mind was filled
just then with her one idea, and she had no room for any
other; it wrought in her what seemed a supreme selfishness,
and yet she had no thought of self in the matter.
She lay quite still for a few minutes, her pale little face
glowing with her renewed hopes. Then she said,—
"Jeanne-Marie, would you mind putting out my things where I
can see them?—my frock and all. Then I shall believe I am to
get up."
Jeanne-Marie acquiesced silently. Madelon's scanty wardrobe
had all been mended and put in order, and now it was spread
out before her; but somehow the sight of the old black silk
frock brought a sudden chill with it; the very last time she
had put it on had been on the morning of the day she had
escaped from the convent. Since then what had she not gone
through! what disappointment, terror, sickness nearly to
death! Might she not indeed have been dead by this time, or a
prisoner for ever within the convent walls, had it not been
for Jeanne-Marie? Her eyes filled with tears at the thought.
She longed to tell Jeanne-Marie once more how much she loved
her; but the woman had left the room, and Madelon could only
lie patiently, and think of all she was going to do, when she
should be well again.
A Summer with Jeanne-Marie.
At the back of Jeanne-Marie's house lay the garden, sheltered
by the steep rocky hill that rose just beyond. All through the
long summer evenings the voices of the men, as they sat
smoking and drinking in its vine-covered arbours, might be
heard; but during the day it was comparatively deserted, and
Jeanne-Marie had no difficulty in finding a quiet, shady
corner where Madelon might sit as long as she pleased without
being disturbed. An outside wooden staircase led from her room
to the garden below, so that she could come and go without
passing through the lower rooms of the house; and we may be
sure that it was considered a golden day by both her and
Jeanne-Marie, when she first made this little expedition. The
child, still almost too weak to stand or walk, was carried by
her strong, kind hostess down the flight of steps, and once
more found herself under the blue heavens, with a world of
sweet summer sights and sounds around her, as she lay on her
little improvised couch amongst the flowers and sweet-smelling
herbs.
"There," said Jeanne-Marie, contemplating her with much
satisfaction, "now you have nothing to do but to get well
again as fast as you can."
"Ah, I shall soon be well now!" cried Madelon, joyfully. The
colour came into her pale cheeks, her eyes shone with a new
light. Mists, and rain, and darkness seemed to have fled from
her life, and in their place a full tide of summer sunshine,
in which the birds sang gladly, and the flowers seemed to
spring up and open unconsciously, was crowning and glorifying
the day.
That she had nothing to do but to get well, was not at all
Madelon's idea, however. A few evenings later, as she lay
awake in her bed, watching Jeanne-Marie moving about in the
twilight, arranging things for the night, she said,—
"Jeanne-Marie, I want to earn some money."
"Some money, little one! What is that for?"
"Ah, that I cannot tell you; but I want some, very much—thirty
francs at least. See here, I have been thinking—I can
embroider—Soeur Lucie said I could do it almost as well as she
could; do you think you could get me some to do? Ah, please
help me. I should like to earn some money."
Two days afterwards, Jeanne-Marie produced two strips of
cloth, such as are used for purposes of church decoration,
with patterns and materials for embroidery.
"Is that the sort of thing?" she said. "If you could do these,
you would get thirty francs for them, I daresay; I will see
that they are disposed of."
"I will try," said Madelon. "Jeanne-Marie, how good you are to
me!—whatever I want, you do for me!"
"That is nothing," said the woman, and went abruptly away to
attend to her customers.
So, all the long summer days, Madelon sat through hot
noontides in the shady garden below, through golden sunsets at
the open window of her room above, stitching with silks and
gold and silver thread, till her weak little fingers ached,
and the task seemed as if it would never be done. Down in the
homely neglected little garden, all a sweet tangle of flowers
and weeds, she would seat herself; the birds would twitter
overhead, the bees would come humming round her amongst the
unpruned vines and roses that clambered everywhere, while the
embroidery pattern slowly grew beneath her fingers. She worked
steadily and well, but she could not work very fast; and she
wearied, oh! how she wearied of it sometimes; but she never
wavered in her purpose. "It is for Monsieur Horace," she would
say, and begin again with fresh zeal. Through the open window
of the little kitchen, which looked upon the garden, she could
see Jeanne-Marie coming and going, chopping herbs, shelling
peas and beans; and sometimes, when Madelon was too tired of
her work, she would gladly throw it down, that she might help
in these employments. "May I make an omelette, Jeanne-Marie?"
she would say; "I know how to do it, if you will let me try."
And the sight of Madelon flitting about the kitchen, busy
among the pots and pans, seemed to stir some long-forgotten
emotion in Jeanne-Marie's sad heart—too long-forgotten to be
learnt anew without pain, for her eyes would fill with tears
as she watched her. The child never went into the village, or,
indeed, stirred beyond the garden; that was all the world to
her just now, peopled by Jeanne-Marie, her hopes, and her
embroidery.
Is it most strange or most natural, one wonders, that there
are times when one small nook of earth shuts out, as it were,
the whole universe from our eyes, when one personal interest
occupies us to the exclusion of the whole world of action, and
progress, and speculation, and thought? Thrones may topple
over, nationalities be effaced, revolutions in politics, in
religion, in science be effected, and all pass unheeded while
we sit counting our own private loss and gain in love or
friendship, in grief or joy. Whilst Madelon has been wearying
out her little heart and brain in the pursuit of her self-
imposed task, the world has not been, and is not, standing
still, we may be sure, and her small wheel of life is somehow
kept in motion by the great revolving circle of events,
however little she may think of, or heed them. Sebastopol has
fallen in these last months, the Crimean war is at an end, and
all the world that was discussing battles and sieges when
Horace Graham last parted with Madelon one September
afternoon, is talking of treaties and peace now, as the allied
armies move homewards from the East. And—which indeed would
have had more interest for Madelon could she have known it—
Graham himself, after more than two years' hard work, had been
wounded in one of the last skirmishes; and with this wound,
and the accompanying fever, had lain for weeks very near to
death in the Scutari hospital, to be sent home at last,
invalided to England. While Madelon had been slowly recovering
from her fever in her little out-of-the-world refuge at Le
Trooz, Graham had been gaining health and strength in a
pleasant English home, with a sister to nurse and pet him,
nephews and nieces to make much of him, and the rosiest cheeks
and bluest eyes in the world to fall in love with, as he lay
idly on the lawn through the summer days. It was at the house
of his sister, who was married to a country doctor in Kent,
that this double process of love-making and convalescence went
on, with the greatest success and satisfaction to all parties;
and it was Miss Maria Leslie, the ward of his brother-in-law,
Dr. Vavasour, who was the owner of those bluest eyes and
rosiest cheeks.
Meanwhile Madelon, stitching, stitching away at her work,
thought vaguely of Monsieur Horace as being still in that far-
off country from which he had last written to her, and
wondered a little how soon a letter written to the English
address he had given her would reach him. What would he say
and think when he received it? And when, ah! when would she be
able to write it? She worked on steadily, and yet it was
already September when the last stitch was put in, and she
could give the work to Jeanne-Marie. A few days afterwards the
woman put thirty francs into her hands.
"There is your money," she said; "now what are you going to do
with it?"
"I am going away," answered Madelon.
"Yes?" said Jeanne-Marie, without any apparent emotion, "and
where are you going?"
"I am going to Spa. Ah! Jeanne-Marie, do not ask me what I am
going to do; it is my secret, I cannot tell any one, but you
shall know some day."
Jeanne-Marie was silent for a moment, then, "Look here, ma
petite," she said; "I don't want to know what you are going to
do; it is no concern of mine, and I cannot keep you if you
want to go away; but who are you going to in Spa? I cannot let
you go off without knowing where you are, and whether you are
safe. You might have the fever again, or some one might try to
take you back to the convent, and I should know nothing about
it. Where are you going? Have you any friends at Spa?"
"There is only Madame Bertrand at the Hotel de Madrid,"
replied Madelon, rather disconsolately; "I would not mind
going to her again, she is so kind; she wanted me to stay with
her the last time I was there—but then there is Mademoiselle
Henriette—it was she who wished to send me back to the
convent; if she were not there, I should not be afraid."
"And is there no other hotel you could go to?"
"I should not like to go to another," said Madelon, "they
would be all strange; I would rather go to Madame Bertrand,
and I should not have to stay there long."
"And then what are you going to do?"
"I don't know—I am not sure," answered Madelon, rather
embarrassed. "I shall write to a friend I have—Monsieur
Horace, you know—and he will tell me what to do."
"And why do you not write to him at once, mon enfant?"
"I cannot," was all Madelon's answer, nor could Jeanne-Marie
ever extract any further explanation on that point. The next
day Jeanne-Marie was missing from the restaurant for some
hours; but she reappeared in the afternoon, and presently came
out into the garden, where Madelon, seated in her favourite
corner, was nursing a big cat, and sorting out herbs for
drying.
"What a long time you have been away!" she said, as Jeanne-
Marie came up to her. "See, I have done all these; I think
there are enough to last you all the winter."
"Not quite," answered the woman; "bur never mind them now. Do
you want to know where I have been? I have been to Spa, and
seen Madame Bertrand."
"Have you?" cried Madelon; "did you tell her about me? Was
Mademoiselle Henriette there?"
"Mademoiselle Henriette is gone; she and her aunt had a grand
quarrel, and she left, and so Madame Bertrand is alone again.
I told her all about you: she said she was glad you had not
gone back to the convent, and that you could go to her
whenever you wished, for she would take care of you. So as
your work is done," Jeanne-Marie added with a sigh, "there is
nothing to keep you, and you may go as soon as you like."
"May I" cried Madelon; "to-morrow, next day? Ah! Jeanne-Marie,
how happy you have made me; you will know why, you will
understand some day—tell me when I shall go."
"We will say the day after to-morrow. I will get your things
ready," answered Jeanne-Marie. She stood gazing at the child
for a moment, as if she would have said something more, then
turned away quickly and entered the house.
Madelon never thought of connecting Jeanne-Marie's sad looks
and ways with her own departure; and indeed, hardly noticed
them, in her joy at having accomplished her task, and earned
the longed-for thirty francs. She did not understand nor
suspect the woman's passionate longing for her affection; no
child can comprehend that strange, pathetic yearning that
older people have for a child's love—a love so pure, and
fresh, and ingenuous, that when it is freely and frankly
given, it is surely the most flattering and precious in the
world. Madelon gave Jeanne-Marie all the love she had to
bestow, but the first place in her heart was already taken;
and perhaps the woman had discovered that it was so, and was
half jealous of this unknown Monsieur Horace, whom she divined
to be at the bottom of all Madelon's plans and ideas. But if
it were so, she never spoke of it, nor of any of the half-
formed hopes and projects she may have had; and Madelon never
could have guessed them, as her kind, sad hostess silently
made up her small wardrobe into a bundle, and patched the old
black silk frock once more, sighing over it the while. And had
Madelon then no regrets at leaving the little cottage, where
she had been tended with such motherly care? Some, perhaps;
for as she sat that last evening watching Jeanne-Marie at her
work, she, too, sighed a little; and at last, clasping her
arms round the woman's neck, she cried, "Jeanne-Marie, I will
love you always—always!—I will never forget you!"
"That is as may be," says melancholy Jeanne-Marie, disengaging
herself.
"Ah! you will not believe me," said Madelon; "but I tell you I
never forget, and you have been so good, so kind to me!
Sometimes I think I should like to stay with you always—would
you let me?"
"Would I let you?" said Jeanne-Marie, dropping her work
suddenly, and looking at the child. "No, I would not let you,"
she said, after a moment's pause, "unless you had nowhere else
to go; but you have other friends, it appears, and it is well
for you. No, I would not let you, for it would be as bad a
thing for you as could be. Ask any of the neighbours what they
would think of it—ask them if they think you would get good or
bad from me, and see what they would say!" She gave a little
scornful laugh.
"I don't know what you mean," said Madelon, fixing her great
eyes on her with a puzzled look—"I don't care what they would
say. You are one of the best people I ever knew, and I love
you with all my heart; but I must go away."
"Why must you?" asks Jeanne-Marie, stitching away at the black
frock.
"That is what I cannot tell you," said Madelon. "No, I will
not tell any one, though I should like to tell you, too,"
added the poor child, gazing wistfully at almost the only
friend she had in the world.
"Well, well," said Jeanne-Marie, "I do not want to hear your
secrets, as you know, unless you like to tell them; but I am
not going to lose sight of you altogether till I hear you are
safe with your friends. You must write me a letter from Spa,
and if I do not hear or see anything of you in a week's time,
I shall come and look after you."
"Yes, I will write," said Madelon; "and I wish—I wish I was
not going away; I have been so happy here." And then she hid
her face on Jeanne-Marie's shoulder, while the sky was all
rosy with the sunset of the last of these peaceful summer days
that our Madelon was to spend at Le Trooz.
Jeanne-Marie could not spare time to go again to Spa the next
day, but she went with Madelon to the station, and waited till
the train that bore her away was out of sight, and then, all
lonely, she walked back to her empty house.
How Madelon kept her Promise.
Madelon was standing in a little upper bedroom of the Hotel de
Madrid, a room so high up that from the window one looked over
the tops of the trees in the Place Royale below, to the
opposite hills. It was already dusk, but there was sufficient
light to enable her to count over the little piles of gold
that lay on the table before her, and which, as she counted,
she put into a small canvas bag. It was the third evening
after her arrival in Spa; she was preparing for her third
visit to the Redoute, and this was what her capital of thirty
francs had already produced.
The last ten-franc piece disappeared within the bag, and
Madelon, taking her hat and cloak, began to put them on
slowly, pausing as she did so to reflect.
"If I have the same luck this evening," she thinks, "to-morrow
I shall be able to write to Monsieur Horace—if only I have—and
why not? I have scarcely lost once these last two nights.
Certainly it is better to play in the evening than in the
daytime. I remember now that papa once said so, and to-night I
feel certain—yes, I feel certain that I shall win—and then to-
morrow——"
She clasped her hands in ecstasy; she looked up at the evening
sky. It was a raw, grey September evening, with gusts of wind
and showers of rain at intervals. But Madelon cared nothing
for the weather; her heart was all glowing with hope, and joy,
and exultation. She put on her hat and veil, took up her
money, and locking her door after her, ran downstairs. She
hung the key up in Madame Bertrand's room, but Madame Bertrand
was not there. On Madelon's arrival at the hotel she had found
the excellent old woman ill, and unable to leave her room, and
it was in her bed that she had given the child the warmest of
welcomes, and from thence that she had issued various orders
for her comfort and welfare. Her attack still kept her
confined to her room, and thus it happened that our Madelon,
quite independent, found herself at liberty to come and go
just as she pleased.
She hung up her key, in the deserted little parlour, and,
unchallenged, left the hotel, and went out into the tree-
planted Place, where the band was playing, and people walking
up and down under the chill grey skies. She felt very hopeful
and joyous, so different from the first time she had started
on the same errand, and the fact inspired her with ever-
increasing confidence. She had failed then, and yet here she
was, successful in her last attempts, ready to make another
crowning trial, and with how many more chances in her favour!
Surely she could not fail now!—and yet if she should! She was
turning towards the Redoute, when an idea suddenly occurred to
her—an idea most natural, arising, as it did, from that
instinctive cry for more than human help, that awakes in every
heart on great emergencies, and appealing, moreover, to that
particular class of religious sentiment which in our little
orphaned Madelon had most readily responded to convent
teaching. What if it had been the Holy Virgin Mother who had
been her protector in all these troubles, who had raised her
up friends, and had brought her from death, as it were, to
life again, to fulfil her promise? And if it were so,—which
seemed most probable to Madelon,—would it not be well to
invite her further protection, and even by some small offering
to give emphasis to her prayers? Madelon's notions, it will be
perceived, were not in strict accordance with convent
orthodoxy, which would scarcely have been willing to recognize
the Virgin's help in a successful escape from the convent
itself; but orthodox notions were the last things with which
it was to be expected our Madelon would trouble herself.
Without other thought than that here might be another and sure
way of furthering her one object, she made her way into a
church, and expending two sous in a lighted taper, carried it
to a little side chapel, where, above a flower-decorated
altar, a beneficent Madonna seemed to welcome all sad orphans
in the world to her all-protecting embrace.
To me there is something infinitely touching in these shrines
to the Virgin, with all their associations of suffering and
prayer, in their little ex-voto pictures, and flowers, and
lighted tapers. I do not envy those who can see in them
nothing but the expression of a pitiable superstition; to my
mind they appeal to far wider sympathies, as one thinks of the
sick and weary hearts who have come there to seek consolation
and help. Everywhere one comes across these shrines—in the
gloom of some great Cathedral, in some homely village church,
in some humble wayside chapel, where, amidst sunny fields and
pastures, amidst mountains, streams, and lakes, one reads the
little heart-broken scrawls affixed to the grating, praying an
Ave-Maria or Paternoster from the passer-by, for a sick
person, for a mother watching beside her dying child, for a
woman forsaken of the world. A whole atmosphere of consecrated
suffering seems to float round these spots sacred to sorrow,
the sorrow that humbly appeals, as it best knows how, to the
love, wide enough to embrace and comfort all desolate, and
yearning, and heavy-laden souls.
One can fancy Madelon as she walks along the dim church; one
or two lights twinkle here and there in the darkness, the
taper she holds shines on her little pale face, and her brown
eyes are lighted up with a sudden glow of enthusiasm,
devotion, supplication, as she kneels for a moment before the
Virgin's altar, with an Ave-Maria on her lips, and an unspoken
prayer in her heart.
Half an hour later, Madelon, in the midst of the blaze of
light in the big gambling salon of the Redoute, is thinking of
nothing in the world but rouge-et-noir and the chances of the
game before her. For the first time she has ventured to push
her way through the crowd and take a seat at the table; and
for the moment she has forgotten her object, forgotten why she
is there even, in the excitement of watching whether black or
red will win. It matters little, it seems; whatever she stakes
on, comes up; her small capital is being doubled an trebled.
She had taken off her veil, which hitherto she had carefully
kept down, and the little flushed face, with the eager eyes
that sparkle with impatience at every pause in the game, is
noticed by several people round the table. Her invariable
luck, too, is remarked upon. "Stake for me, mon enfant,"
whispered a voice in her ear, and a little pile of five-franc
pieces was put in front of her. Madelon, hardly thinking of
what she did, staked the stranger's money along with her own
on the red. It won. "Thank you, my child; it is the first time
I have won to-night," said the voice again, as a long hand
covered with rings swept up the money. Madelon turned round
quickly: behind her stood a woman with rouged cheeks, a low
evening dress half concealed by a black lace shawl, beads and
bracelets on her neck and arms—a common figure enough—there
were half-a-dozen more such in the room—and she took no more
notice of Madelon, but went on pricking her card without
speaking to her again. But to the child there came a quick
revulsion of feeling, that she could not have explained, as
she shrank away from her gaudily-attired neighbour. All at
once the game seemed somehow to have lost its interest and
excitement; the crowds, the heat, the light, suddenly
oppressed her; for the first time her heart gave way. She felt
scared, friendless, lonely. There came to her mind a thought
of the peaceful faces of the black-robed sisters, a sound as
of the tinkling bell ringing above the old cabbage-ground, a
breath sweet with the scent of fresh roses in Jeanne-Marie's
little garden; she had a momentary impulse to go, to fly
somewhere, anywhere—ah! but whither? Whither in all the wide
world could she go? Back to the convent to be made a nun? Back
to Jeanne-Marie with her promise unfulfilled? "I will keep my
promise, I will not be frightened," thinks the poor child,
bravely; "I will fancy that papa is in the room, and that he
will take care of me." And all these thoughts pass through he
head while the croupier is crying, "Faites votre jeu,
Messieurs, faites votre jeu!" and in, and on she goes again.
And while she is intent on making Monsieur Horace's fortune,
Monsieur Horace himself, not five hundred yards off, is
walking up and down the Place Royale, listening to the band,
and troubling his head not at all about fortune-making, but
very much about Madelon. On his recovery from his illness, he
had come to Spa to drink the waters, and had been there nearly
a month, during which time he had twice been over to Liege to
make inquiries about Madelon. His dismay had been great, when,
on his first visit to the convent, he had learnt that
Mademoiselle Linders was dead, that her little niece had
disappeared three or four months before, and that nothing had
been heard of her since, with the exception of the vague,
anonymous letter from Paris. He wrote off at once to Madame
Lavaux, the only person with whom he could imagine Madeleine
to have taken refuge; but, as we know, Madame Lavaux had
neither seen her nor heard anything about her. He had then, in
his perplexity, written to her old friends in Florence,
thinking it just possible they might be able to give him some
information, but with no more success. He received an answer
from the American artist, in which he mentioned the death of
the old violinist, lamented Madelon's disappearance, but, as
may be supposed, gave no news of her.
Graham was greatly annoyed and perplexed. What could have
become of the child? To whom could she have gone? She had had
no friend but himself when he had last parted from her, and
she could hardly, he imagined, have made any outside the
convent walls. And why had she run away? Had she been unkindly
treated? Why had she not written to him if she were in
trouble? These and a hundred other questions he asked himself,
reproaching himself the while for not having kept up some kind
of communication with her, or with Mademoiselle Linders. He
had a real interest in, and affection for, the child, whom he
had befriended in her hour of need; and held himself besides
in some sort responsible for her welfare, after the promise he
had made to her father on his death-bed. What was he to do if
all traces of her were indeed lost? This very day he had again
been over to Liege, had paid a second visit to the convent,
and had made inquiries of every person who probably or
improbably might have had news of her, but with no more result
than before; and now, as he walked up and down the Place
Royale, he was debating in his own mind whether he could take
any further steps in the matter, or whether it must not rather
now be left to time and chance to discover her hiding-place.
A shower of rain came on, dispersing the few people who had
cared to linger in the open air in this raw, chilly evening;
and Horace, leaving the Place, went up the street, which, with
its lights and shops, looked cheerfully by comparison, and,
like the rest of the world, turned into the Redoute, more than
usually full, for it was the race-week, and numbers of
strangers had come into the town. The ball-room, where dancing
was going on, was crowded; and Graham, who, attracted by the
music, had looked in, had soon had enough of the heat and
noise. In a few minutes he had made his way into the gambling
salon, and had joined one of the silent groups standing round
the tables.
Meanwhile, Madelon, once more absorbed in the game, is
meditating her grand coup. Hitherto she has been playing
cautiously, her capital accumulating gradually, but surely,
till she has quite a heap of gold and notes before her. It is
already a fortune in her eyes, and she thinks, if she could
only double this all at once, then indeed would the great task
be accomplished; she might go then, she might write to
Monsieur Horace, she would see him again—ah! what joy, what
happiness! Should she venture? Surely it would be very rash to
risk all that at once—and yet if she were to win—and she has
been so lucky this evening— her heart leaps up again—she
hesitates a moment, then pushes the whole on to the black,
reserving only one ten-franc piece, and sits pale, breathless,
incapable of moving, during what seemed to her the longest
minute in her life. It was only a minute—the croupier dealt
the cards—"Rouge perd, et couleur," he cried, paid the smaller
stakes, and then, counting out gold and notes, pushed over to
her what was, in fact, a sufficiently large sum, and which, to
her inexperienced eyes, seemed enormous. "Who is she?" asked
one or two of the bystanders of each other. "She has been
winning all the evening." They shrugged their shoulders;
nobody knew. As for Madelon, she heard none of their remarks—
she had won, she might go now, go and find Monsieur Horace;
and as this thought crossed her mind, she gathered up her
winnings, thrust them into her bag, and rose to depart. As she
turned round, she faced Monsieur Horace himself, who had been
standing behind her chair, little dreaming whose play it was
he had been watching.
She recognised him in a moment, though he had grown thinner
and browner since she had last seen him. "Monsieur Horace!—
Monsieur Horace!" she cried.
He was still watching the game, but turned at the sound of her
voice, and looked down on the excited little face before him.
"Madelon!" he exclaimed—"Madelon here!—no, impossible!
Madelon!"
"Yes, yes," she said, half laughing, half crying at the same
time, "I am Madelon. Ah! come this way—let me show you. I have
something to show you this time—you will see, you will see!"
She seized both his hands as she spoke, and pulled him through
the crowd into the adjoining reading-room. It was all lighted
up, the table strewn with books and papers; but no one was
there. Madelon was in a state of wild excitement and triumph.
"Look here," she cried; "I promised to make your fortune, did
I not, Monsieur Horace?—and I have done it! Ah! you will be
rich now—see here!" she poured the contents of her bag on the
table before him. "Are you glad?" she said.
"Glad!—what on earth are you talking about? Where did you get
this money, Madelon?"
"Where?—why, there, at the tables, to be sure—where else?" she
answered, getting frightened at his manner.
"But—gracious powers! are you out of your senses, child?"
cried Graham. "Whatever possessed you to come here? What
business have you in a place like this? Are you alone?"
"Yes, I am alone. I came to make your fortune," answered
Madelon, dismayed.
"My fortune!" he repeated. "What can have put such a notion
into your head? As for that money, the sooner you get rid of
it the better. What the devil—good heavens! a baby like you!—
here, give it to me!"
"What are you going to do?" cried Madelon, struck with sudden
fear, as he swept it up in his hand.
"Take it back, of course," he answered, striding into the next
room.
"Ah! you shall not!" she cried passionately, running after
him, and seizing his hand; "it is mine, it is mine, you shall
not have it!"
"Hush, Madelon," he said, turning round sharply, "don't make a
disturbance here."
She made no answer, but clung with her whole weight to his arm
as he approached the table. She dragged his hand back, she
held it tight between hers; her face was quite pale, her teeth
set in her childish passion.
"Madelon, let go!" said Graham; "do you hear what I say? Let
go!"
"Give me my money back!" she cried, in a passionate whisper;
"you have no right to take it; it is my own."
"Let go," he repeated, freeing his hand as he spoke. She
seized it again, but it was too late; he had placed the money
on the table, and with the other hand pushed it into the
middle. A horrible pause, while Madelon clung tighter and
tighter, watching breathlessly till she saw the croupier rake
in the whole. All was lost, then; she flung Horace's hand
away, and rushed out of the room. "Madelon!" he cried, and
followed her. Down the lighted staircase, out into the lighted
street, he could see the swift little figure darting along the
Place Royale, where he had been walking not half an hour ago,
all quiet and dark now; the music gone, the people dispersed,
the rain falling heavily. Still she ran on, into the avenue of
the Promenade a Sept Heures. It was darker still there, only a
rare lamp slanting here and there a long gleam of light across
the wet path. Horace began to be afraid that he should lose
her altogether, but she suddenly stumbled and fell, and when
he came up to her, she was sitting all in a heap on the ground
at the foot of a tree, her face buried in her hands, her frame
shaking with sobs.
"Madelon," said Horace, stooping down, and trying to take her
hands; "my little Madelon, my poor little child!"
She jumped up when she heard his voice, and started away from
him.
"Ne me touchez pas, je vous le defends," she cried, "ne me
touchez pas, je vous deteste—vous etes un cruel—un perfide!"
She began to sob again, and dropped down once more upon the
ground, crouched upon the damp earth, strewn with dead fallen
leaves. Her hat had fallen off, and the rain came down upon
her uncovered head, wetting the short hair as it was blown
about by the wind, drenching her thin little cloak and old
black silk frock. A very pitiful sight as she sat there, a
desolate, homeless child, on this dark, wet autumn night, deaf
in her excess of childish rage to Horace's words, shaking him
off with wilful, passionate gestures whenever he touched her—a
very perplexing sight to the young man, who stood and watched
her, uncertain what to say or do next.
At last she grew a little quieter, and then he spoke to her in
a tone of authority:—
"You must get up, Madelon; you will get quite wet if you stay
here."
He took hold of her hand, and held it firmly when she tried to
loosen it, and at last she got up slowly. As she rose, she
became conscious of the wet and cold, and was completely
sobered as she stood shivering at Horace's side.
"My poor little Madelon!" he said, in the kind voice she
remembered from old times. "You are quite wet and so cold, we
must not stay here; tell me where you are going?"
"I don't know," said Madelon, beginning to cry again. Only an
hour ago she had been so full of joy and hope, with such a
bright future before her; and now the rain and wind were
beating in her face, above her the black sky, darkness all
around; where indeed was she going?
"But you have some friends here?" said Horace—"you are not
staying here all alone?"
"Yes, I am all alone," said Madelon, sobbing. "Oh! what shall
I do?—what shall I do?"
"Don't cry so, Madelon," said Graham, "my poor child, don't be
frightened. I will take care of you, but I want you to tell me
all about this. Do you mean you are all alone in Spa?"
"Yes, I am all alone; I came here three days ago. I had been
ill at Le Trooz, and a woman there—Jeanne-Marie—took care of
me; but as soon as I was well and had money enough, I came to
Spa, and went to the Hotel de Madrid. Papa and I used to go
there, and I knew Madame Bertrand who keeps it."
"So you slept there last night," said Horace, not a little
mystified at the story, but trying to elucidate some fact
sufficiently plain to act upon.
"Yes, last light, and before. I left my things there, and
meant to have gone back to-night, but I have no money now.
What is to be done?" That grand question of money, so
incomprehensible to children to whom all things seem to come
by nature, had long ago been faced by Madelon, but had never
before, perhaps, presented itself as a problem so incapable of
solution—as a question to be asked of such a very dreary,
black, voiceless world, from which no answer could reasonably
be expected. But, in truth, the answer was not far off.
"I will take care of all that," said Horace; "so now, come
with me. Stay, here is your hat; we must not go without that."
He arranged her disordered hair and crushed hat, and then,
taking her hand, led her back towards the town, Madelon very
subdued, and miserable, and cold, Horace greatly perplexed as
to the meaning of it all, but quite resolved not to lose sight
of his charge any more.
Arrived at the Hotel de Madrid, he left Madelon for a moment
in the shabby little coffee-room, while he asked to speak to
Madame Bertrand. Madame Bertrand, as we know, was ill and in
bed, but the maid brought down Madelon's bundle of things.
Graham asked her a few questions, but the girl evidently knew
nothing about the child. "Madame knew—she had dined in
Madame's private room the last two days," but she could not
tell anything more about her, and did not even know her name.
When Graham came back to the room, he found Madelon standing
listlessly as he had left her; she had not moved. "Well," he
said cheerily, "that is settled; now you are my property for
the present; you shall sleep at my hotel to-night."
"At your hotel?" she said, looking up at him.
"Yes, where I am staying. Your friend here is not well. I
think I shall look after you better. You do not mind coming
with me?"
"No, no!" she cried, beginning to cling to him in her old way—
"I will go anywhere with you. Indeed I did not mean what I
said, but I am very unhappy."
"You are tired and wet," answered Graham, "but we will soon
set that to rights; you will see to-morrow, you will not be
unhappy at all. Old friends like you and me, Madelon, should
not cry at seeing each other again; should they?"
Talking to her in his kind, cheerful way, they walked briskly
along till they arrived at the hotel. Madelon was tired out,
and he at once ordered a room, fire, and supper for her, and
handed her over to the care of a good-natured chambermaid.
"Good night, Madelon. I will come and see after you to-morrow
morning," he said smiling, as he left her.
She looked up at him for a moment with a most pitiful, eager
longing in her eyes; then suddenly seizing his hands in her
wild excited way—"Oh, Monsieur Horace, Monsieur Horace, if I
could only tell you!" she cried; and then, as he left the
room, and closed the door, she flung herself upon the floor in
quite another passion of tears than that she had given way to
in the Promenade a Sept Heures.
The old Letter.
When Horace went to see after Madelon the next morning, he
found her already up and dressed. She opened her bedroom door
in answer to his knock, and stood before him, her eyes cast
down, her wavy hair all smooth and shining, even the old black
silk frock arranged and neat—a very different little Madelon
from the passionate, despairing, weeping child of the evening
before.
"Good morning, Madelon," said Graham, taking her hand and
looking at her with a smile and a gleam in his kind eyes; "how
are you to-day? Did you sleep well?"
"I am very well, Monsieur," says Madelon, with her downcast
eyes. "I have been up a long time. I have been thinking of
what I shall do; I do not know, will you help me?"
"We will talk of that presently," said Graham, "but first we
must have some breakfast; come downstairs with me now."
"Monsieur Horace," said Madelon, drawing back, "please I
wanted to tell you, I know I was very naughty last night, and
I am very sorry;" and she looked up with her eyes full of
tears.
"I don't think we either of us quite knew what we were doing
last night," said Graham, squeezing her little hand in his;
"let us agree to forget it, for the present at all events; I
want you to come with me now; there is a lady downstairs who
very much wishes to see you."
"To see me?" said Madelon, shrinking back again.
"Yes, don't be frightened, it is only my aunt. She wants to
know you, and I think will be very fond of you. Will you come
with me?" And then, as they went along the passage and
downstairs, he explained to her that he was not alone at the
hotel, but that his aunt, Mrs. Treherne, was also there, and
that he had been telling her what old friends he and Madelon
were, and how unexpectedly they had met last night.
He opened the door of a sitting-room on the premier; a wood-
fire was crackling, breakfast was on the table, and before the
coffee-pot stood a lady dressed in black.
"Here is Madelon, Aunt Barbara," said Graham; and Mrs.
Treherne came forward, a tall, gracious, fair woman, with
stately manners, and a beautiful sad face.
"My dear," she said, taking Madelon's hand, "Horace has been
telling me about you, and from what he says, I think you and I
must become better acquainted. He tells me your name is
Madeleine Linders."
"Yes, Madame," says Madelon, rather shyly, and glancing up at
the beautiful face, which, with blue eyes and golden hair
still undimmed, might have been that of some fair saint or
Madonna, but for a certain chilling expression of cold
sadness.
"I knew something of a Monsieur Linders once," said Mrs.
Treherne, "and I think he must have been your father, my dear.
Your mother was English, was she not? Can you tell me what her
name was before she married?"
"I—I don't know," said Madelon; "she died when I was quite a
baby."
"Nearly thirteen years ago, that would be? Yes, that is as I
thought; but have you never heard her English name, never seen
it written? Have you nothing that once belonged to her?"
"Yes, Madame," answered Madelon; "there is a box at the
convent that was full of things, clothes, and some books.
There was a name written in them—ah! I cannot remember it—it
was English."
"Moore?" asked Mrs. Treherne. "Stay, I will write it. Magdalen
Moore—was that it?"
"Yes," said Madelon; "I think it was—yes, I know it was. I
remember the letters now. But I have something of hers here,
too," she added—"a letter, that I found in the pocket of this
dress—this was mamma's once, and it was in the trunk. Shall I
fetch it?—it is upstairs."
"Yes, I should like to see it, my dear. You will wonder at all
these questions, but, if I am not mistaken, your mother was a
very dear friend of mine."
Madelon left the room, and Mrs. Treherne, sitting down at the
table, began to arrange her breakfast-cups. Horace was
standing with one arm on the mantel-piece, gazing into the
fire; he had been silent during this short interview, but as
Madelon disappeared,—
"Is she at all like her mother?" he inquired.
"She is like—yes, certainly she is like; her eyes remind me of
Magdalen's—and yet she is unlike, too."
"You must be prepared," said Horace, after a moment's pause,
"to find her devoted to her father's memory; and not without
reason, I must say, for he was devoted to her, after his own
fashion. She thinks him absolute perfection; and, in fact, I
believe this escapade of hers to have been entirely founded on
precedents furnished by him."
"I think it is the most dreadful thing I ever heard of," said
Mrs. Treherne—"a child of that age alone in such a place!"
"Well, I really don't know," answered Graham, half laughing.
"I don't suppose it has done her much mischief; and of this I
am quite sure, that she had no idea of there being any more
harm in going to a gambling-table than in going for a walk."
"That appears to me the worst part of it, that a child should
have been brought up in such ignorance of right and wrong.
However, she can be taught differently."
"Certainly; but don't you think the teaching had better come
gradually?—it would break her heart, to begin with, to be told
her father was not everything she imagines—if indeed she could
be made to understand it just yet, which I doubt."
"Of course it would be cruel to shake a child's faith in her
father," answered Mrs. Treherne; "but she must learn it in
time. Monsieur Linders was one of the most worthless men that
ever lived, and Charles Moore was as bad, if not worse. I
wonder—good heavens, Horace, how one wonders at such things!—I
wonder what Magdalen had done that she should be left to the
mercy of two such men as those."
"Well, it is no fault of Madelon's, at any rate," Horace
began; and then stopped, as the door opened, and Madelon came
in. In her hand she carried a queer little bundle of
treasures, that she had brought away with her from the
convent—the old German's letter, the two that Horace had sent
her, and one or two other things, all tied together with a
silk thread.
"This is the letter," she said, selecting one from the packet,
and giving it to Mrs. Treherne. It was the one she had read in
the evening twilight in her convent cell last May. "I am
afraid there is no name on it, for there is no beginning nor
ending. I think it must have been burnt."
"Why, that is your writing, Aunt Barbara!" said Graham, who
had come forward to inspect these relics.
"Yes, it is mine," said Mrs. Treherne. "It was written by me
many years ago."
She glanced at the letter as she spoke, then crushed it up
quickly in her hand, and with a sudden flush on her pale cheek
turned to Madelon.
"My dear," she said, putting one arm round the child's waist,
and caressing her hair with the other hand, "I knew you mother
very well; she was my cousin, and the very dearest friend I
ever had. I think you must come and live with me, and be my
child, as there is no one else who has any claim on you."
"Did you know mamma, Madame?" said Madelon. "And papa—did you
know him?"
"No, my dear, I never knew your father," said Mrs. Treherne,
with a change in her voice, and relaxing her hold of the
child.
"You forget, Madelon," said Graham, coming to the rescue,
"your father never went to England, so he did not make
acquaintance with your mother's friends. But that is not the
question now; my aunt wants to know if you will not come and
live with her in England, and be her little girl? That would
be pleasanter than the convent, would it not?"
"Yes, thank you. I should like to go and live in England very
much," said Madelon, her eyes wandering wistfully from Mrs.
Treherne to Graham. "And with you too, Monsieur Horace?" she
added, quickly.
"Not with me, exactly," he answered, taking her hand in his;
"for I am going off to America in a month or two; and you know
we agreed that you and I could not go about the world
together; but I shall often hear of you, and from you, and be
quite sure that you are happy; and that will be a great thing,
will it not?"
"Yes, thank you," she said again. Her eyes filled with sudden
tears, but they did not fall. It was a very puzzling world in
which she found herself, and events, which only yesterday she
had thought to guide after her own fashion, had escaped quite
beyond the control of her small hand.
Perhaps Mrs. Treherne saw how bewildered she was, for she drew
her towards her again, and kissed her, and told her that she
was her child now, and that she would take care of her, and
love her for her mother's sake.
"Now let us have some breakfast," she said. "After that we
will see what we have to do, for I am going to leave Spa to-
morrow."
Late in the afternoon of the same day, Horace, who had been
out since the morning, coming into the sitting-room, found
Madelon there alone. It was growing dark, and she was sitting
in a big arm-chair by the fire, her eyes fixed on the
crackling wood, her hands lying listlessly in her lap. She
hardly looked up, or stirred as Graham came in, and drew a
chair to her side.
"Well, Madelon," he said, cheerfully, "so we start for England
to-morrow?"
"Yes," she said; but there was no animation in her manner.
"Has my aunt told you?" he went on. "We are going to sleep at
Liege, so that she may go to the convent, and settle matters
there finally, and let the nuns know they are not to expect
you back again."
"Yes, I know," said Madelon. "Monsieur Horace, do you think we
might stop for just a little while—for half-an-hour—at Le
Trooz, to see Jeanne-Marie? She would not like me to go away
without wishing her good-bye."
"Of course we will. It was Jeanne-Marie who took care of you
when you were ill, was it not? Tell me the whole story,
Madelon. What made you run away from Liege?"
"There was a fever in the convent; I caught it, and Aunt
Therese died; and when I was getting well I heard the nuns
talking about it, and saying I was to live in the convent
always, and be made a nun—and I could not, oh! I could not—
papa said I was never to be a nun, and it would have been so
dreadful; and I could not have kept my promise to you,
either."
"What was this promise, Madelon? I can't remember your making
me one, or anything about it."
"Yes, don't you know? That evening at Liege, the night before
I went into the convent, when we were taking a walk. You said
you wanted to make your fortune, and I said I would do it for
you. I knew how, and I thought you did not. I meant to do it
at once, but I could not, and I was afraid you would think I
had forgotten my promise, and would want the money, so I got
out of the window and came to Spa. But I lost all my money the
first time I went to the tables, and there was a lady who
wanted to take me back to the convent; but she went to sleep
in the train, and I got out at Le Trooz. I don't remember much
after that, for the fever came on again; but Jeanne-Marie, who
keeps a restaurant in the village, found me in the church, she
says, and took me home, and nursed me till I was well."
"And how long ago was all this?"
"It was last May that I ran away from the convent, and I was
with Jeanne-Marie all the summer; but as soon as I was well
again, and had enough money, I came back here—that was four
days ago; and last night I had the money, and to-day I should
have written to you to tell you that I had kept my promise,
and made your fortune."
"And so it was all for me," said Graham, with a sudden pang of
tenderness and remorse. "My poor little Madelon, you must have
thought me very cruel and unkind last night."
"Never mind," she answered, "you did not understand; I thought
you knew I had promised;" but she turned away her head as she
spoke, and Graham saw that she was crying.
"Indeed I don't remember anything about it," he said; "why, my
poor child, I should never have thought of such a thing. Well,
never mind, Madelon, you shall come to England with us. Do you
know you are a sort of cousin of mine?"
"Am I?" she answered, "did you know mamma as well as Mrs. ——
as Madame votre Tante?"
"Well, no; the fact is, I never even heard her married name,
though I knew we had some relations named Moore, for she was
my mother's cousin, also. But she went abroad and married when
I was quite a child, and died a few years afterwards, and that
is how it happened that I never heard of, or saw her."
"Ah! well, you knew papa," said Madelon; and then there was
silence between them for a minute, till a flame leaping up
showed Madelon's face all tearful and woe-begone.
"You are not happy, Madelon," said Graham. "What is it? Can I
help you in any way? Is there anything I can do for you?"
She fairly burst into sobs as he spoke.
"Monsieur Horace," she answered, "I—I wanted to make your
fortune; I had looked forward to it for such a long time, and
I was so happy when I had done it, and I thought you would be
so pleased and glad, too, and now it is all at an end——"
How was Graham to console her? How explain it all to her?
"Listen to me, Madelon," he said at last; "I think you were a
dear little girl to have such a kind thought for me, and I
don't know how to thank you enough for it; but it was all a
mistake, and you must not fret about it now. I don't think I
care so very much about having a fortune; and anyhow, I like
working hard and getting money that way for myself."
"But mine is the best and quickest way," said Madelon,
unconvinced; "it was what papa always did."
"Yes, but you know everybody does not set to work the same
way, and I think I like mine best for myself."
"Do you?" she said, looking at him wistfully; "and may I not
go and try again, then?"
"No, no," he answered kindly; "that would not do at all,
Madelon; it does not do for little girls to run about the
world making fortunes. Your father used to take you to those
rooms, but he would not have liked to have seen you there
alone last night, and you must never go again."
He tried to speak lightly, but the words aroused some new
consciousness in the child, and she coloured scarlet.
"I—I did not know—" she began; and then stopped suddenly, and
never again spoke of making Monsieur Horace's fortune.
Partings.
So it was something like the end of a fairy tale after all;
for a carriage stopped before the restaurant at Le Trooz, and
out of it came a gentleman, and a lady beautiful enough to be
a fairy godmother, and the little wandering Princess herself,
no other than our Madelon, who ran up to Jeanne-Marie as she
came to the door, and clasping her round the neck, clung to
her more tightly than she had ever clung before, till the
woman, disengaging herself, turned to speak to her other
visitors. Mrs. Treherne came into the little public room,
which happened to be empty just then, and siting down on one
of the wooden chairs, began to talk to Jeanne-Marie; whilst
Madelon, escaping, made her way to the garden at the back,
where she had spent so many peaceful hours. It was not a week
since she had been there and it looked all unchanged; the sun
was shining again after the last few days, and filling the air
with summer heat and radiance; the grapes were ripening on the
wall; the bees humming among the flowers; Jeanne-Marie's pots
and pans stood in the kitchen window. How quiet, and sunny,
and familiar it looked! Madelon half expected to find her
chair set in the old shady corner, to see Jeanne-Marie's face
appearing through the screen of vine-leaves at the open
window, to hear her voice calling to her to leave her work,
and come and help her make the soup! Ah no, it was not all
unchanged; was there indeed anything the same as in the old
days that already seemed such ages distant, the old time gone
for ever? With a sudden pang, Madelon turned away, and went
quickly up the outside staircase, all overgrown with unpruned
sprays and tendrils, into the room she had occupied for so
many weeks. How happy she had been there! what dreams she had
dreamed! what hopes she had cherished! what visions she had
indulged in! Where were they all now? Where was that golden
future to which she had so confidently looked forward, for
which she had worked, and striven, and ventured all? She knelt
down by the bed, flinging her arms out over the coarse blue
counterpane. Ah, if she had but died there, died while she was
all unconscious, before this cruel grief and disappointment
had come upon her!
And meanwhile, Jeanne-Marie, in the room below, had been
hardening her heart against the child after her own fashion.
She had answered Mrs. Treherne's questions curtly, rejected
the faintest suggestion of money as an insult, and stood
eyeing Graham defiantly while the talk went on. "Madelon has
grand new friends now," she was thinking all the time very
likely, "and will go away and be happy, and forget all about
me; well, let her go—what does it matter?" And then presently,
going upstairs to look for this happy, triumphant Madelon, she
found her crouching on the floor, trying to stifle the sound
of her despairing sobs.
"Oh, Jeanne-Marie, Jeanne-Marie!" she cried, as soon as she
could speak, "I wish I might stay with you, I wish I had never
gone away; what was the use of it all? I thought I was going
to be so happy, and now I am to go to England, and Monsieur
Horace is to go to America, and I shall never, never, be happy
again!"
"What was the use of what?" says Jeanne-Marie, taking the
child into her kind arms; "why will you never be happy again?
Are they unkind to you? Is that gentleman downstairs Monsieur
Horace that you used to talk about?"
"Yes, that is Monsieur Horace. Ah, no, he is not unkind, he is
kinder than any one—you do not understand, Jeanne-Marie, and I
cannot tell you, but I am very unhappy." She put her arms
round the woman's neck, and hid her face on her shoulder. In
truth, Jeanne-Marie did not understand what all this terrible
grief and despair were about. Madelon, as we know, had never
confided her hopes, and plans, and wishes to her; but she knew
that the child whom she loved better than all the world was in
trouble, and that she must send her away without being able to
say a word to comfort her, and that seemed hard to bear.
So they sat silent for awhile; and then Jeanne-Marie got up.
"You must go, ma petite," she said; "Madame is waiting, and I
came to fetch you." She walked to the door, and then turned
round suddenly. "Ecoutez, mon enfant," she said, placing her
two hands on Madelon's shoulders, and looking down into her
face, "you will not forget me? I—I should not like to think
you will go away, and forget me."
"Never!" cried Madelon; "how could I? I will never forget you,
Jeanne-Marie, and some day, if I can, I will come back and see
you."
So they parted, and, of the two, it was the brave, faithful
heart of the woman that suffered the sharper pang, though she
went about her daily work without saying a word or shedding a
tear.
Mrs. Treherne had large estates in Cornwall, on which, since
her husband's death, she had almost constantly resided; and
thither, with Madelon, she proceeded, a few days after their
arrival in London. Graham did not go with them. He had been
appointed to accompany a government exploring party into
Central America, and his time was fully occupied with business
to settle, arrangements to make, outfit to purchase, and,
moreover, with running down to his sister's house in the
country as often as possible, so as to devote every spare hour
to Miss Leslie. The summer love-making had ended in an
engagement before he started for Spa—an engagement which—
neither he nor Miss Leslie having any money to speak of—
promised to be of quite indefinite length. In the midst of all
his bustle, however, Graham contrived to take Madelon to as
many sights as could be crowded into the three or four days
that they stayed at the London hotel; and in a thousand kind
ways tried to encourage and cheer the child, who never said a
word about her grief, but drooped more and more as the moment
for separation drew near. Graham went to see her and his aunt
off at the Great Western terminus, and it was amidst all the
noise, and hurry, and confusion of a railway-station that they
parted at last. It was all over in a minute, and as Graham
stood on the platform, watching the train move slowly out of
the station, a little white face appeared at a carriage-
window, two brown eyes gazed wistfully after him, a little
hand waved one more farewell. It was his last glimpse of our
small Madelon.
Letters.
For five years Horace Graham was a wanderer on the other side
of the Atlantic. He had left England with the intention of
remaining abroad for two years only; but at the end of that
time, when the exploring party to which he belonged was
returning home, he did not find it difficult to make excuses
for remaining behind. He had only begun to see the country, he
said in his letters to England; he knew two men who were going
further south, to Paraguay, to La Plata, to Patagonia,
perhaps; and he meant to accompany them, and see what was to
be seen; time enough to think of coming home afterwards; of
what use would it be for him to return just then? "We are both
young," he wrote to his future wife, Maria Leslie, "and can
well afford to wait a year or two before settling down into
sober married life. You, my dear Maria, who so often said this
to me when, in the first days of our engagement, I urged a
speedy marriage, will, I know, agree with me. I see now that
in those days you were right and I was wrong. We are not rich
enough to marry. I should do wrong to make you submit to all
the trials and hardships which struggling poverty entails;
though indeed, in all the world, I know of no one so well
fitted to meet them as my dearest Molly. How often we used to
picture to ourselves some little snuggery where you could knit
and darn stockings, and I could smoke my pipe! Is not that the
correct division of labour between man and woman? Well, some
day we will have some such dear little hole, and I will smoke
my pipe; but you shall not be condemned to stitching—you shall
do—let me see—what shall you do?—anything in the world you
like best, my dear girl; for I mean to be a rich man in those
days, which I often picture to myself as the good time coming,
to which some of us are looking forward. When I hear of an
opening in England, I shall return—perhaps sooner, if it is
very long in coming; unless, indeed, you would like to join me
out here. What do you think of that proposal? We could settle
down comfortably in Peru or Mexico, and you could make friends
among the Spanish ladies, and learn from them to sleep all day
and dance all night, unless you would prefer to accompany my
pipe with your cigarette; for, of course, you too would smoke,
like every one else. And from time to time we could go on long
expeditions—such as I am making now—day and night in an open
boat, on some river flowing through trackless forests, great
trees dipping down into the water, strange flowers blooming
overhead, strange beasts that one never saw before, hopping
and rushing about; and mosquitoes, of which one has seen
plenty, eating one up alive at every opportunity. My poor
Molly! I can see your face of dismay. No, don't be afraid; you
shall not be asked to leave your own comfortable home till I
can return and take you to as good a one; and then I mean to
write a book about my adventures, and you shall do nothing
worse than shudder over them at your leisure at our own
fireside."
To which Maria replied:—"I think, my dear Horace, you are
quite right not to hurry home. As you say, we are both young,
and have life before us; and do not trouble yourself about me,
for as long as I hear that you are well and happy, I can and
ought to desire nothing further. The idea of coming out to you
made me shiver indeed; you will say I am very unenterprising,
but I don't think I should ever care about leaving England;
one is so happy here, what more can one desire? What can I
tell you in return for your long letter? Georgie will have
given you all the village news, no doubt; has she told you
that we have a new curate—Mr. Morris? He preached last Sunday,
and is a great improvement on Mr. Saunders, who was the
dullest man I ever heard. The school gets on nicely; I have
two more pupils, and receive many compliments, I assure you,
on the way in which I manage my class. I sometimes wonder if
it could not be arranged some day, that you should enter into
partnership with Dr. Vavasour, who is growing old, and gets
tired with his day's work? I often think of this, and of how
pleasant it would be, but, as you may suppose, have never even
hinted at it to your sister. Is it such a very wild castle in
the air? It is a very pleasant one, and I sometimes sit and
think it all over. We should never have to leave Ashurst then;
there is a pretty little house lately built at the end of the
village, which would just suit us, I think; you could write
your book, and when it was done, read it to me, as you know I
do not much care about reading. You should smoke your pipe as
much as you please, and I would sit and work, for there is
nothing I like doing better, and I should find it very
uncomfortable to sit with my hands before me. Do you think I
mean to grow idle in my old age? No, not if we have a hundred
thousand a-year, for I am sure there must be always something
for every one to do," and so on; a little moral sentiment
closed the letter.
When Graham received it, he read it over twice, and sighed a
little as he folded it up, and put it away. He was relieved
that Maria should take such a calm view of the subject, for he
had felt his own letter to be somewhat egotistical, and yet—
well, right or wrong, he could not help it; he could not give
up his travels and researches just then. The spirit of
adventure was upon him, driving him, as it has driven many a
man before, further and further into the wilderness, heedless
of danger, and hardships, and discomfort; almost heedless,
too, of home, and friends, and love—all that, he would have
time to think of at some future day, when he should find
himself obliged to return to England. Maria's suggestion of
the country partnership as the goal of his ambition and his
hopes, her picture of the new house at the end of the village,
rose before his mind, but in no such tempting light as before
hers. "She is a dear, good girl," he thought, "but she does
not understand. Well, I suppose it will come to that, or
something like that, at least; what better can one look
forward to? one cannot roam about the world for ever—at least,
I cannot, bound as I am; not that I repent that;" and then it
was that he sighed. Nevertheless he did roam about for three
years longer; and then his health giving way, he was obliged
to return to England, and arrived at his sister's house, a
bronzed, meagre, bearded traveller, with his youth gone for
ever, and years of life, and adventure, and toil separating
him from the lad who had first seen little Madelon at
Chaudfontaine.
He had not forgotten her; it would have been strange indeed if
he had, for Mrs. Treherne's letters, which followed him in his
wanderings with tolerable regularity, were apt to be full of
Madeleine; and in them would often be enclosed a sheet, on
which, in her cramped foreign handwriting, Madelon would have
recorded, for Monsieur Horace's benefit, the small experiences
of her every-day life.
"I am learning very hard," so these little effusions would
run; "and Aunt Barbara says that I advance in my studies, but
that I shall do better when I go to London, for I will have
masters then, and go to classes. I like Cornwall very much; I
have a garden of my own, but the flowers will not grow very
well—the gardener says the wind from the sea will kill them.
It seems to me there is always a wind here, and last week
there was a great storm, and many ships were wrecked. Aunt
Barbara said she was glad you were the other side of the
ocean, and so indeed was I. I never thought the wind and sea
could make so much noise; it is not here as at Nice with the
Mediterranean, which was almost always calm, and tranquil, and
blue like the sky. Here the sea is grey like the sky—that
makes a great difference. Will you soon write to me once more?
I read your letter to me over and over again. I like to hear
all about the strange countries you are in, and I should like
to see them too. We have a book of travels which tells us all
about South America, and I read it very often. I send you one
little primrose that I gathered to-day in my garden."
Again, nearly a year later.
"I do not know how people can like to live always in one
place, when there is so much that is beautiful to see in the
world. Aunt Barbara says that she would be content always to
live in Cornwall; and it is very kind of her to come to
London, for it is that I may have masters, she says; but I
cannot help being glad, for I was so tired of the rocks, and
the sea always the same. We arrived last week, and Aunt
Barbara says we shall stay the whole winter, and come back
every year, very likely. I like our house very much; it is in
Westminster, not far from the Abbey, where I went with you;
one side looks on to the street, that is rather dull; but the
other looks on to St. James's Park, where I go to walk with
Aunt Barbara. We went to the Abbey last Sunday; it reminded me
of the churches abroad, and the singing was so beautiful. In
Cornwall there was only a fiddle and a cracked flute, and
everybody sang out of tune; I did not like going to church
there at all. Please write to me soon, Monsieur Horace, and
tell me where you are, and what you are doing; I fancy it all
to myself—the big forests, and the rivers, and the flowers,
and everything."
Accompanying these would be Mrs. Treherne's reports:
"Madeleine improves every day, I think. She is much grown, and
resembles her mother more and more, though she will never be
so beautiful, to my mind; she has not, and never will have,
Magdalen's English air and complexion. She gets on well with
her London masters and classes, and has great advantages in
many ways over girls of her own age, especially in her
knowledge of foreign languages. I trust that by degrees the
memory of her disastrous past may fade away; we never speak of
it, and she is so constantly employed, and seems to take so
much interest in her occupation and studies, that I hope she
is ceasing to think of old days, and will grow up the quiet,
English girl I could wish to see Magdalen's daughter. Indeed
she is almost too quiet and wanting in the gaiety and
animation natural to girls of her age; but otherwise I have
not a fault to find with her. She is fond of reading, and gets
hold of every book of travels she can hear of, that will give
her any idea of the country you are exploring. We share your
letters, my dear Horace, and follow you in all your
wanderings, with the greatest interest."
One more letter.
"March 1st, 186—.
"My dear Monsieur Horace,
"Aunt Barbara bids me write and welcome you back to England.
We look forward to seeing you very much; but she says, if you
can remain with your sister a week longer, it will be better
than coming down to Cornwall now, as we shall be in London on
Monday next, at the latest. We should have come up to town for
Christmas as usual, if Aunt Barbara had not been so unwell;
and now that she is strong again, she wishes to be there as
soon as possible. It would not be worth while, therefore, for
you to make so long a journey just now. I hope you will come
and see us soon; it seems a long, long time since you went
away—more than five years.
"Ever your affectionate
"Madeleine Linders."
It was at the end of a dull March day that Horace Graham, just
arrived from Kent, made his way to his aunt's house in
Westminster. He thought more of Madelon than of Mrs. Treherne,
very likely, as the cab rattled along from the station. There
had never been much affection or sympathy between him and his
aunt, although he had always been grateful to her, for her
kindness to him as a boy; but she was not a person who
inspired much warmth of feeling, and his sister's little house
in the village where he had been born, had always appeared to
him more home-like than the great Cornwall house, where, as a
lad, he had been expected to spend the greater part of his
holidays. But he was pleased with the idea of seeing his
little Madelon again. He had not needed letters to remind him
of her during all these years; he had often thought of the
child whom he had twice rescued in moments of desolation and
peril, and who had been the heroine of such a romantic little
episode—thought of her and her doings with a sort of wonder
sometimes, at her daring, her independence, her devotion—and
all for him! When Graham thought of this, he felt very tender
towards his foolish, rash, loving little Madelon; he felt so
now, as he drove along to Westminster; he would not realize
how much she must be altered; she came before him always as
the little pale-faced girl, with short curly hair, in a shabby
black silk frock. It was a picture that, somehow, had made
itself a sure resting-place in Graham's heart.
"We did not expect you till the late train, sir; it is close
upon dinner-time, and the ladies are upstairs in the drawing-
room, I believe," said the old butler who opened the door.
"Upstairs? in the drawing-room?" said Graham; "stop, I will
find my way, Burchett, if you will look after my things."
He ran upstairs; the house was strange to him, but a door
stood open on the first landing, and going in, he found
himself in a drawing-room, where the firelight glowed and
flickered on picture-lined walls, and chintz-covered easy-
chairs and sofas, on an open piano, on flower-stands filled
with hyacinths and crocuses, on the windows looking out on the
dark March night, and the leafless trees in the Park. No one
was there—he saw that at a glance, as he looked round on the
warm, firelit scene; but even as he ascertained the fact, some
one appeared, coming through the curtains that hung over the
folding-doors between the two drawing-rooms—some one who gave
a great start when she saw him, and then came forward blushing
and confused. "My aunt is upstairs,"—she began, then stopped
suddenly, glancing up at this stranger with the lean brown
face, and long rough beard. "Monsieur Horace!" she cried,
springing forward. He saw a tall, slim girl, all in soft
flowing white, he saw two hands stretched out in joyous
welcome, he saw two brown eyes shining with eager gladness and
surprise; and all at once the old picture vanished from his
mind, and he knew that this was Madelon.
Sehnsucht.
Graham had numberless engagements in London, and except at
breakfast, or at lunch perhaps, little was seen of him at his
aunt's house during the first days after his arrival in town.
One evening, however, coming home earlier than usual, he found
the two ladies still in the drawing-room, and joining them at
the fireside, he first made Madelon sing to him, and then,
beginning to talk, the conversation went on till long after
midnight, as he sat relating his travels and adventures.
Presently he brought out his journal, and read extracts from
it, filling up the brief, hurried notes with fuller details as
he went on, and describing to them the plan of his book, some
chapters of which were already written, and which he hoped to
bring out before the season was over. Mrs. Treherne was a
perfect listener; she was sufficiently well informed to make
it worth while to tell her more, and she knew how to put
intelligent questions just at the right moment. As for
Madelon, she had been busily engaged on some piece of
embroidery when he first began talking, but gradually her
hands had dropped into her lap, and with her eyes fixed on him
in the frankest unconsciousness, she had become utterly
absorbed in what he was saying. Graham's whole heart was in
his work, past and present, and this rapt naive interest on
the part of the girl at once flattered and encouraged him.
"I can trust you two," he said, putting away his papers at
last, "and I am not forestalling my public too much in letting
you hear all this; but you are my first auditors, and my first
critics. You won't betray me, Madelon?" he added, turning to
her with a smile.
She shook her head, smiling back at him without speaking; and
then, rising, began to fold up her work, while Mrs. Treherne
said,—
"I should have thought you would have found your first
audience at Ashurst."
"I did try it one evening," he said, "but one of the children
began to scream, and Georgie had to go and attend to it; and
the Doctor went to sleep, and Maria, who had been all the
afternoon in a stuffy school-room, looking after a school-
feast or something of the sort, told me not to mind her, and
presently went to sleep too; so I gave it up, after that."
"It was certainly not encouraging," said Mrs. Treherne; "but
you must surely have fallen upon an unfortunate moment; they
do not go to sleep every evening, I presume?"
He did not answer; he was looking at Madelon, his eyes
following her as she moved here and there about the room,
putting away her work, closing the piano, setting things in
order for the night. It was a habit he had taken up, this of
watching her whenever they were in the room together,
wondering perhaps how his little Madelon had grown into one of
the most beautiful women he had ever seen. Indeed she was
little Madelon no longer—and yet not wholly altered after all.
She was tall now, above the middle height, and her hair was a
shade darker, and fastened up in long plaits at the back of
her head; but her cheeks were pale as in old days, and a
slight accent, an occasional idiom, something exceptional in
style, and gesture, and manner, showed at once and
unmistakably, her foreign birth and breeding. As Mrs. Treherne
had once said, she had not, and never would have, an English
air and complexion; but her beauty was not the less refined
and rare that the clear, fair cheeks were without a tinge of
colour, that one had to seek it in the pure red lips, the soft
brown hair, the slight eyebrows and dark lashes, the lovely
eyes that had learnt to express the thought they had once only
suggested, but still retained something of the old, childish,
wistful look. And yet Graham watched her with a vague sense of
disappointment.
"What do you think of Madeleine?" Mrs. Treherne said to him
the following afternoon; he had come in early, and they were
together alone in the drawing-room. "Do you not find her grown
and improved? Do you think her pretty? She is perhaps rather
pale, but——"
"She has certainly grown, Aunt Barbara, but this is not
astonishing—young ladies generally do grow between the ages of
thirteen and eighteen: and I think her the prettiest girl I
ever saw—not at all too pale. As for being improved—well—I
suppose she is. She wears very nice dresses, I observe, and
holds herself straight, and I daresay knows more geography and
history than when we last parted."
"You are disappointed in her," said Mrs. Treherne. "Do you
know I suspected as much, Horace, from the way in which you
look at her and speak to her. Tell me in what way—why you are
not satisfied?"
"But I am satisfied," cried Graham; "why should I not be?
Madelon appears to me to have every accomplishment a young
lady should have; she sings to perfection, I daresay, dances
equally well, and I have no doubt that on examination she
would prove equally proficient in all the ologies. I am
perfectly satisfied, so far as it is any concern of mine, but
I don't see what right I have to be sitting in judgment one
way or the other."
"You have every right, Horace; I have always looked upon you
as the child's guardian in a way, and in all my plans
concerning her education I have considered myself, to a
certain extent, responsible to you."
"It was very good of you, Aunt Barbara, to consider me in the
matter. I thought my responsibility had ceased from the moment
you took charge of her; but for her father's sake—does Madelon
ever speak of him, by-the-by?"
"Never."
"Never alludes to her past life?"
"Never—we never speak of it; I have carefully avoided doing
so, in the hope that with time, and a settled home, and new
interests, she could cease to think of it altogether; and I
trust I have succeeded. The memory of it can only be painful
to her now, poor child, for, though I have never referred to
the subject in any way, I feel convinced she must have learnt
by this time to see her father's character in its true light."
"It is possible," said Graham. "Well, as I was saying; Aunt
Barbara, for the sake of the promise I made her father on his
death-bed, if for no other reason, I shall and must always
take an interest in Madelon."
"And I for her mother's sake," replied Mrs. Treherne, stiffly.
"If you have no other interest in Madelon than——however, it is
useless to discuss that. I want to know how we have
disappointed you—Madelon and I—for you are disappointed; tell
me, Horace—I am really anxious to know."
"Dear Aunt Barbara, I am not at all disappointed; or, if I am,
it is not your fault or hers—quite the reverse. Nothing but
the perversity of human nature. Shall I own the truth? All
these years I have kept in my mind a dear little girl in a
shabby old frock which she had outgrown—a dear, affectionate
little soul, with so few ideas on people and things, that she
actually took me for one of the best and wisest of human
beings. See how much vanity there is in it all! I come back,
and find a demure, well-drilled, fashionable young lady. I
might have known how it would be, but it gave me a sort of
shock, I own—my little wild Madelon gone for ever and a day,
and this proper young lady in her place."
"You are unreasonable, Horace," said Mrs. Treherne, half
laughing, half vexed; "and ungrateful too, when Madeleine has
been working so hard, with the hope, I know, of pleasing and
astonishing you with her doings."
"But I am pleased," said Graham. "Astonished? No, I cannot be
astonished that Madelon, with you to help her, should
accomplish anything; but I am delighted, charmed. What more
shall I say? So much so, Aunt Barbara, that when I am married—
as I mean to be shortly, and set up a house of my own—you and
Madelon will have to pay me visits of any length. I shall
always feel that I have a sort of property in her, through
early associations."
"Are you going to be married shortly?" said Mrs. Treherne;
"have you anything definite to do? Where are you going to
settle?"
"Do you not know?" he answered. "Dr. Vavasour has offered me a
partnership."
"And you have accepted it?"
"Not yet. He has given me six months to think it over; so I
need not hurry my decision; and, in the meantime, I have
plenty to do with my book. In fact, I need the rest."
"It seems a pity—" began Mrs. Treherne.
"What seems a pity, Aunt Barbara?"
"That with your talents you should settle down for life in a
country village. You could surely do something better."
"I don't know," he answered with a sigh. "There is nothing
else very obvious at present, and I cannot be a rover all my
life. For one thing, my health would not allow of my taking up
that sort of thing again just at present; and then there is
Maria to be considered. She hates the idea of leaving Ashurst,
and it has been her dream for years that this partnership
should be offered me, and that I should accept it. I owe it to
her to settle down into steady married life before long."
He rose, as he said these last words, and walked to the
window. Mrs. Treherne was called away at the same moment, and
he stood gazing out at the strip of garden before the house,
the Birdcage Walk beyond, the trees in the Park blowing about
against the dull sky. His thoughts were not there; they had
wandered away to the tropics, to the glowing skies, the
strange lands, the wild, free life in which his soul
delighted. He was glad to find himself in England once more,
amongst kindred and friends, but he loathed the thought of
being henceforth tied down to a life from which all freedom
would be banished, which must be spent in the dull routine of
a country parish. Graham was not now the lad who had once
looked on the world as lying at his feet, on all possibilities
as being within his grasp; he had long ceased to be a hero in
his own eyes; he had learnt one of life's sternest lessons, he
had touched the limits of his own powers. But in thus gaining
the knowledge of what he could not do, he had also proved what
he could be—he had recognised the bent of his genius, and he
knew that of all the mistakes of his life he had committed
none more grievous than that of binding himself to a woman who
neither sympathised nor pretended to sympathise with him and
his pursuits; and in compliance with whose wishes he was
preparing to take up the life for which, of all others within
the limits of his profession, he felt himself the least
suited. And she? Did she care for him?—did she love him enough
to make it worth the sacrifice?—was there the least chance of
their ever being happy together? Ah! what lovers' meeting had
that been that had passed between them at his sister's house!
What half-concealed indifference on her side, what
embarrassment on his, what silence falling between them, what
vain efforts to shake off an ever-increasing coldness and
constraint! It was five years since they had parted—was it
only years and distance that had estranged them, or had they
been unsuited to each other from the beginning? Not even now
would Graham acknowledge to himself that it was so, but it was
a conviction he had been struggling against for years.
"Will you take some tea, Monsieur Horace?" said a voice behind
him. He turned round. The grey daylight was fading into grey
dusk, afternoon tea had been brought in, and Madelon was
standing by him with a cup in her hand. "Aunt Barbara has gone
out, and will not be home till dinner-time," she added, as she
returned to the tea-table and fireside.
"Then you and I will drink tea together, Madelon," said
Graham, seating himself in an arm-chair opposite to her.
"Where have you been all this afternoon? Have you been out
too?"
"I have been to a singing-class. I generally go twice a-week
when we are in town."
"And do you like it?"
"Yes, I like it very much."
So much they said, and then a silence ensued. Madelon drank
her tea, and Graham sat looking at her. Yes, a change had
certainly come over her—this Madelon, who came and went so
quietly, with a certain harmonious grace in every movement—
this Madelon, who sometimes smiled, but rarely laughed, who
spoke little, and then with an air of vague weariness and
indifference—this was not the little impetuous, warm-hearted
Madelon he remembered, who had clung to him in her childish
sorrow, who had turned from him in her childish anger, who in
her very wilfulness, in her very abandonment to the passion of
the moment, had been so winning and loveable. It was not
merely that she was not gay—gaiety was an idea that he had
never associated with Madelon; it had always been a sad little
face that had come before him when he had thought of her; but
in all her sadness, there had been an animation and spring, an
eagerness and effusion in the child, that seemed wholly
wanting in the girl. It was as if a subtle shadow had crept
over her, toning down every characteristic light to its own
grey monotonous tint.
Madelon had not the smallest suspicion of what was passing in
her companion's mind. During all these years, in whatever
other respects she might have altered, the attitude of her
heart towards him had never changed. What he had always been
to her, he was now; the time that had elapsed since they
parted had but intensified and deepened her old feeling
towards him—that was all. He had been in her thoughts day and
night; in a thousand ways she had worked, she had striven,
that he might find her improved when he came home, less
ignorant, less unworthy, than the little girl he had parted
with. His return had been the one point to which all her hopes
had been directed; and, poor child, with a little unconscious
egotism, she took it for granted that just then she occupied
almost as large a share in Graham's mind as he did in hers. He
had always been so good, so kind to her, he must surely be
glad to see her again, almost as glad as she was to see him.
She, on her side, was ready to go on just where they had left
off; and yet now, when for the first time they were alone
together, a sort of shyness had taken possession of her.
She was the first to break the silence, however. "Why do you
look at me so?" she said, setting her tea-cup down, and
turning to Horace with a sudden smile and blush.
"I am trying to adjust my ideas," he answered, smiling too; "I
am trying to reconcile the little Madelon I used to know with
this grand young lady I have found here."
"Ah, you will never see that little Madelon again," said the
girl, shaking her head rather sorrowfully; "she is gone for
ever."
"How is that?" said Graham. "You have grown tall, you wear
long gowns, and plait up your hair, I see; but is that a
reason——"
"Ah, how can one survive one's old life?" said Madelon,
plaintively; "one ought not, ought one? All is so changed with
me, things are so different, the old days are so utterly gone—
I try not to think of them any more; that is the best; and my
old self is gone with them, I sometimes think—and that is best
too."
She sat leaning forward, staring at the dull red coals; and
Graham was silent for a moment.
"Then you have forgotten the old days altogether?" he said at
last.
"I never speak of them," she answered slowly; "no, I have not
forgotten—it is not in me to forget, I think—but I do not
speak of them; of what use? It is like a dream now, that old
time, and no one cares for one's dreams but oneself."
"Am I part of the dream too, Madelon? For I think I belong
more to that old time you talk about, which is not so very
remote, after all, than to the present. I had a little friend
Madelon once, but I feel quite a stranger with this
fashionable Miss Linders before me."
"You are laughing at me," said Madelon, opening her eyes wide.
"I am not at all fashionable, I think. I don't know what you
mean; what should make you think such a thing, Monsieur
Horace?"
"Well, your general appearance," he answered. "It suggests
balls, fetes, concerts, operas——"
Madelon shook her head, laughing.
"That is a very deceptive appearance," she said. "Aunt Barbara
and I never go anywhere but to classes, and masters, and to a
small tea-party occasionally, and to see pictures sometimes."
"But how is that?—does Aunt Barbara not approve of society?"
"Oh, yes, but she thinks I am not old enough," answered
Madelon, demurely. "So I am not out yet, and I have not been
to a ball since I was ten years old."
"And do you like that sort of thing? It does not sound at all
lively," said Graham.
"It is rather dull," replied Madelon, "simply; but then I think
everything in England is—is triste—I beg your pardon," she
added, quickly, colouring, "I did not mean to complain."
"No, no, I understand. You need not mind what you say to me,
Madelon; I want to know what you are doing, what sort of life
you are leading, how you get on. So you find England triste?
In what way?"
"I don't know—not in one way or another—it is everything.
There is no life, no movement, no colour, or sunshine—yes, the
sun shines, of course, but it is different. Ah, Monsieur
Horace, you who have just come back to it, do you not
understand what I mean?"
"I think I do in a way; but then, you know, coming to England
is coming home to me, Madelon, and that makes a great
difference."
"Yes, that makes a great difference; England can never be home
to me, I think. I will tell you, Monsieur Horace—yesterday at
that Exhibition I went to with Aunt Barbara, you know, I saw a
picture; it was an Italian scene, quite small, only a white
wall with a vine growing over the top, and a bit of blue sky,
and a beggar-boy asleep in the shade. One has seen the same
thing a hundred times before, but this one looked so bright,
so hot, so sunny, it gave me such a longing—such a longing——"
She started up, and walked once or twice up and down the room.
In a moment she came back, and went on hurriedly:—
"You ask me if I have forgotten the past, Monsieur Horace. I
think of it always—always. I cannot like England, and English
life. Aunt Barbara will not let me speak of it, and I try to
forget it when she is by, but I cannot. Aunt Barbara is very
kind—kinder than you can imagine—it is not that; but I am
weary of it all so. When we walk in the Park, or sit here in
the evening, reading, I am thinking of all the beautiful
places there are in the world; of all the great things to be
done, of all that people are seeing, and doing, and enjoying.
I wish I could get away; I wish I could go anywhere—if I could
run away—I have a voice, I could sing, I could make money
enough to live upon. I think I should have done so, Monsieur
Horace, if I had not known you were coming home. Yes, if I
could run away somewhere, where I could breathe—be free——"
"You must never do that," cried Graham hastily—he was standing
opposite to her now, with his back to the fire; "you don't
know what you are saying, Madelon. Promise me that you will
not think of it even."
"I was talking nonsense, I don't suppose I meant it really,"
she answered; "I could not do it, you know; but I promise all
the same, as you wish it."
"And you always keep your promises, I know," said Graham,
smiling at her.
"Ah, do not," she cried, suddenly covering her face with her
hands, "don't speak of that, Monsieur Horace—I know now—ah,
yes, I understand what you must have thought—but I did not
then; indeed I was only a child then, I did not know what I
was doing."
"I don't think you are much more than a child now," said
Graham, taking one of her hands in his; "you are not much
altered, after all, Madelon."
"Am I not?" she said. "But I have tried to improve; I have
worked very hard, I thought it would please you, and that you
would be glad to find me different—and I am different," she
added, with a sudden pathetic change in her voice. "I
understand a great deal now that I never thought of before; I
think of the old life, but it is not all with pleasure, and I
know why Aunt Barbara—and yet I do love it so much, and you
are a part of it, Monsieur Horace—when you speak your vice
seems to bring it back; and you call me Madelon—no one else
calls me Madelon—" Her voice broke down.
"You are not happy, my dear little girl," said Graham, in his
old kind way, and trying to laugh off her emotion. "I shall
have to prescribe for you. What shall it be?—a course of balls
and theatres? What should Aunt Barbara say to that?"
"She would not employ you for a doctor again, I think," said
Madelon, smiling. "No, I am not unhappy, Monsieur Horace—only
dull sometimes; and Aunt Barbara would say, that is on account
of my foreign education. I know she thinks all foreigners
frivolous and ill educated; I have heard her say so."
When Madelon went to her room that night, she sat long over
her fire, pondering, girl-fashion, on her talk with Horace
Graham. The tones of his voice were still ringing in her ears;
she seemed still to see his kind look, to feel the friendly
grasp of his hand; and as she thought of him, her familiar
little bed-room, with its white curtained bed, and pictured
walls, and well-filled bookshelves, seemed to vanish, and she
saw herself again, a desolate child, sitting at the window of
the Paris hotel that hot August night her father died, weeping
behind the convent grating, crouched on the damp earth in the
dark avenues of the Promenade a Sept Heures. He had not
changed in all these years, she thought; he had come back kind
and good as ever, to be her friend and protector, as he had
always been; and he had said she was not altered much either,
and yet she was—ah! so altered from the unconscious,
unthinking, ignorant child he had left. She began to pace up
and down the room, where indeed she had spent many a wakeful
night before now, thinking, reflecting, reasoning, trying to
make out the clue to her old life—striving to reconcile it
with the new life around her—not too successfully on the
whole. How was it she had first discovered the want of harmony
between them? How was it she had first learnt to appreciate
the gulf that separated the experiences of her first years,
from the pure, peaceful life she was leading now? She could
hardly have told; no one had revealed it to her, no one had
spoken of it; but in a thousand unconsidered ways—in talk, in
books, in the unconscious influences of her every-day
surroundings, she had come to understand the true meaning of
her father's life, and to know that the memory of these early
days, that she had found so bright and happy, was something
never to be spoken of, to be hidden away—a disgrace to her,
even, perhaps. Aunt Barbara never would let her talk of them,
would have blotted them out, if possible; she had wondered why
at first—she understood well enough now, and resented the
enforced silence. She only cherished the thought of them, and
of her father the more; she only clung to her old love for him
the more desperately, because it must be in secret; and she
longed at times, with a sad, inexpressible yearning, for
something of the old brightness that had died out one mournful
night nearly eight years ago, when she had talked with her
father for the last time.
"I think I must be a hundred years old," the girl would say to
herself sometimes, after returning from one of those little
parties of which she had spoken to Graham, where she had spent
the evening in the company of a dozen other young ladies of
her own age, all white muslin and sash-ribbons. "These girls,
how tiresome they all are!—how they chatter and laugh, and
what silly jokes they make! How can it amuse them? But they
are still in the school-room, as Aunt Barbara is always
telling me; and before that, they were all in the nursery, I
suppose; they do not know anything about life; their only
experiences concern nurses and governesses; whilst I—I—ah! is
it possible I am no older than they are?"
She would lean her arms on the window-sill, and look out on
the midnight sky; the Abbey chimes would ring out over the
great city, overhead the stars would be shining perhaps, but
down below, between the trees in the Park, a great glare would
show where a million lamps were keeping watch till dawn. Shall
we blame our Madelon, if she sometimes looked away from the
stars, and down upon the glare that brightened far up into the
dark sky? All the young blood was throbbing and stirring in
her veins with such energy and vigour; the world was so wide,
so wide, the circle around her so narrow, and in that bright,
misty past, which, after all, she only half understood, were
to be found so many precedents for possibilities that might
still be hidden in the future. Shall we blame her, if, in her
youthful belief in happiness as the chief good, her youthful
impatience of peace, and calm, and rest, she longed with a
great longing for movement, change, excitement? Outside, as it
seemed to her, in her vague young imagination, such a free,
glorious life was going on—and she had no part in it! As she
stood at her window, the distant, ceaseless roar of the street
traffic would sound to her, in the stillness of the night,
like the beat of the great waves of life that for ever broke
and receded, before they could touch the weary spot where she
stood spell-bound in isolation. And through it all she said to
herself, "When Monsieur Horace comes home,"—and now Monsieur
Horace had come, would he do anything to help her?
Graham, indeed, was willing enough to do what he could do for
her; and before he went to bed that night he wrote the
following letter to his sister, Mrs. Vavasour:
"My dear Georgie,
"The butter and eggs arrived in safety, and Aunt Barbara
declared herself much pleased with your hamper of country
produce; but you will, no doubt, have heard from her before
this. She is looking wonderfully well, and not a day older
than when I left England. As for Madeleine Linders, I hardly
recognised her, she is so grown and so much improved. I find I
have at least a fortnight's business in London, and then I
will run down to you for another visit, if I may. Would it put
you out very much if I brought Madeleine with me for a time? I
should like you and her to know each other, and a change would
do her good. Aunt Barbara seems to have been giving her a
high-pressure education, with no fun to counterbalance it, and
the poor child finds it horribly dull work; and no wonder—I
know I should be sorry to go through it myself. A few weeks
with you and the children would brighten her up, and do her
all the good in the world. Let me know what you think of it.
"Ever yours,
"Horace Graham."
At Ashurst.
It was two days after Graham's talk with Madelon, that some
people of whom mention has once or twice been made in this
little history, were sitting chatting together as they drank
their afternoon tea in Mrs. Vavasour's drawing room at
Ashurst, a low, dark-panelled, chintz-furnished room, with an
ever-pervading scent of dried rose-leaves, and fresh flowers,
and with long windows opening on to the little lawn, all shut
in with trees and shrubberies. Mrs. Vavasour, who sat by the
fire knitting, was a calm, silent, gentle-looking woman, with
smooth, fair hair under her lace cap, and those pathetic lines
we sometimes see in the faces of those who through
circumstances, or natural temperament, have achieved
contentment through the disappointments of life, rather than
through its fulfilled hopes. She was the mother of many
children, of whom the elder half was already dispersed—one was
married, one dead, one in India, and one at sea; of those
still at home, the eldest, Madge, an honest, sturdy, square-
faced child of eleven or twelve, was in the room now, handing
about tea-cups and bread-and-butter. Dr. Vavasour was a big,
white-haired man, many years older than his wife, who had
married him when she was only seventeen; he was a clever man,
and a popular doctor, and having just come in from a twenty
miles' drive through March winds and rain, was standing with
his back to the mantelpiece, with an air of having thoroughly
earned warmth and repose. He was discussing parish matters
with Mr. Morris the curate, who was sitting at the small round
table where Maria Leslie, a tall, rosy, good-humoured-looking
young woman of five or six-and-twenty, was pouring out the
tea.
"If the Rector is on your side, Morris," said the Doctor, "of
course I can say nothing; only I can tell you this, you will
lose me. I will have nothing to do with your new-fangled
notions; I have said my prayers after the same fashion for the
last sixty years, and as sure as you begin to sing-song them,
instead of reading them, I give up my pew, and go off to
church at C——, with my wife and family."
"Not with Miss Leslie, I trust, Doctor," said the Curate; "we
could not get on without Miss Leslie, to lead the singing."
"Miss Leslie does as she likes, and if she prefers sham
singing to honest reading, that's her concern, not mine. But I
tell you plainly, sir, I am an old-fashioned man, and have no
patience with all these changes. I have a great mind to see if
I can't get made churchwarden, and try the effect of a little
counter-irritation. Madge, my child, bring me a cup of tea."
"I hope you do not hold these opinions, Miss Leslie," said the
Curate, in an under tone to Maria Leslie; "we could not afford
to lose you from amongst us; you must not desert us."
"Oh, no, I could not give up my Ashurst Sundays," answers
Maria, fidgeting amongst her cups and saucers; "I have too
many interests here, the schools, and the church—and the
preaching—not that the Rector's sermons are always very
lively; and then I like chanting and intoning."
"And can you not convert the Doctor?"
"I think that would be impossible; Dr. Vavasour always held to
his own opinions. Will you have some more tea?"
"No more, thank you. I should have thought, Miss Leslie, you
might have converted any one; I cannot fancy any arguments you
might use being other than irresistible."
"Mr. Morris," said Mrs. Vavasour, breaking in upon this little
tete-a-tete, "have you seen those curious spiders that my
brother brought home from South America? You might fetch Uncle
Horace's case, Madge, and show them to Mr. Morris; they are
worth looking at, I assure you."
An hour later this little party had dispersed. Mr. Morris had
taken leave, Maria had gone to dress for dinner, Madge to her
school-room; Dr. Vavasour and his wife were left alone.
"I had a letter from Horace this afternoon," she said, taking
it out of her pocket, and giving it to the Doctor to read.
"What do you say to our having Miss Linders here for a time? I
have often thought of asking her, and this will be a good
opportunity. Do you object?"
"Not in the least, my dear; she is some sort of a cousin of
yours; is she not?"
"A remote one," said Mrs. Vavasour, smiling. "However, I am
very willing to make her acquaintance, especially if the poor
girl wants a change. I agree with Horace, that a too prolonged
course of Aunt Barbara must be trying."
"Why, I thought Mrs. Treherne was everything that was perfect
and admirable; she has never troubled us much with her
society, but I am sure I understood from you——"
"So she is," said his wife, interrupting him; "that is just
it—Aunt Barbara is quite perfect, a kind of ideal gentlewoman
in cultivation, and refinement, and piety, and everything
else; but she is, without exception, the most alarming person
I know."
"Well, let Miss Linders come by all means," repeated the
Doctor. "Isn't it nearly dinner-time? I am starving. I have
been twenty miles round the country to-day, and when I come in
I find that long-legged fellow Morris philandering away, and
have to listen to his vacuous nonsense for an hour. Whatever
brings him here so often? He ought to have something better to
do with his time than to be idling it away over afternoon tea.
Is he looking after Madge?"
"Poor little Madge!" answered Mrs. Vavasour, laughing. "No, I
wish I could think Mr. Morris had nothing more serious on
hand: but it is much more likely to be Maria."
"Maria!" cried the doctor; "is that what the man is up to? But
surely he knows she is engaged to Horace."
"Indeed I much doubt it," Mrs. Vavasour answered; "the
engagement was to be a secret, and I am not aware that any one
knows of it but ourselves, and Aunt Barbara—and Miss Linders
probably—and if Maria will not enlighten Mr. Morris as to how
matters stand, I do not see what any one else can do."
"Then Molly is very much to blame; and I have a great mind to
tell her so."
"I think you had better let things take their own course,"
said Mrs. Vavasour. "Maria is quite old enough to know what
she is about, and Horace will be down here in a few days to
look after his own interests."
"Well, but—bless my soul!" cried the doctor, "I can't make it
out at all. Do you mean that Maria is allowing this fellow
Morris's attention? I thought she and Graham were devoted to
each other, and had been for the last five years?"
"I think they thought they were, five years ago, when Horace,
fresh home from the Crimea, was all the heroes in the world in
Molly's eyes; and he was just in the mood to fall in love with
the first pretty bright girl he saw. But all that was over
long ago, and in these five years they have grown utterly
apart."
"Then the sooner they grow together again the better," said
the Doctor.
"I don't believe it is possible," answered his wife. "I don't
see how they can ever pull together; they have different
tastes, different aims, different ideas on every conceivable
subject. I am very fond of Molly; she is an excellent, good
girl in her way, but it is not the way that will fit her to
become Horace's wife. She will weary him, and he will—not
neglect her, he would never be unkind to a woman—but he will
not be the husband she deserves to have. For my part, I think
it will be a thousand pities if a mistaken sense of honour
makes them hold to their engagement."
"That may be all very well for Horace," said the Doctor; "but
what about Molly? When a girl has been looking forward to
marrying and having a house of her own, it is not so pleasant
for her to have all her prospects destroyed."
"Then she can marry Mr. Norris, if she pleases."
"Indeed! Well, if Maria's mistaken sense of honour does not
stand in the way of a flirtation with Morris, I shall be much
astonished if Horace's does not make itself felt one way or
another. However, it is no concern of mine; manage it your own
way."
"Indeed I have no intention of interfering," said Mrs.
Vavasour. "I can imagine nothing more useless, especially as
Horace will be here in less than a fortnight. But I will write
to-night to Aunt Barbara about Miss Linders."
"Oh, yes, ask Miss Linders down here, by all means; and if
Morris would only fall in love with her, that might settle all
difficulties; but I suppose there is not much chance of that."
And so saying, the Doctor went to dress for dinner.
It was a new world, this, in which our Madelon found herself,
after the still leisure of her home in Cornwall, with its
outlook on rocks, and sea, and sky, after the unbroken
regularity of her London life, with its ever-recurring round
of fixed employments—a new world, this sheltered English
village, lying amongst woods, and fields, and pastures,
divided by trim brown hedges, whose every twig was studded
with red March buds, and beneath which late March primroses
were blowing—and a new world, too, the varied life of this
bright, cheerful house, where people were for ever coming and
going, and where children's footsteps were pattering, and
children's voices and laughter ringing, all day long.
It was with the children especially that Madelon made friends
in the early days of her visit. From Mrs. Vavasour she had the
kindliest welcome; but the mistress of this busy household had
a thousand things to attend to, that left her but little time
to bestow on her guest. She had deputed Maria Leslie to
entertain Madelon; but Maria also had her own business—school-
teaching, cottage-visiting in the village; nor, in truth, even
when the two were in each other's society, did they find much
to say to each other. It had never been a secret to Madelon
that Graham was engaged to Maria Leslie, and the girl had
looked forward, perhaps, to making friends with the woman who
was accounted worthy of the honour of being Monsieur Horace's
wife; but the very first day she had turned away disappointed.
There was, both instinctively felt, no common ground on which
they could meet and speak a common language intelligible to
both; memories, interests, tastes, all lay too wide apart; and
as for those larger human sympathies which, wider and deeper
than language can express, make themselves felt and understood
without its medium, something forbade their touching upon them
at all. There was, from the first, a certain coolness and
absence of friendliness in Maria's manner, which was quite at
variance with her usual good-humoured amiability, and which
Madelon felt, but did not understand. She could not guess that
it was the expression of a vague jealousy in Maria's mind,
excited by Madelon's beauty and graciousness of air and
manner, and by a knowledge of her past relations with Horace
Graham; Maria would hardly have acknowledge it to herself, but
it raised an impassable barrier between these two.
As for Graham, no one saw much of him. He was shut up all day
in his brother-in-law's study, writing, copying notes, sorting
and arranging specimens, preparing the book that was to come
out in the course of the next season; and, when he did appear,
at breakfast or dinner, he was apt to be silent and moody,
rarely exchanging more than a few words with any one. Madelon
wondered sometimes at this taciturn Monsieur Horace, so
different from the one she had always known; though, indeed,
in speaking to her the old kindly light would always come back
to his eyes, the old friendly tones to his voice. But, like
every one else, she saw but little of him; and, in fact,
Graham in these days, a grim, melancholy, silent man, brooding
over his own thoughts, his own hopes, plans, disappointments
perhaps, was no very lively addition to a family party.
There was one small person, however, whom our Madelon at once
inspired with a quite unbounded admiration for her. A few
evenings after her arrival, some one knocked at her bedroom
door as she was dressing for dinner; she opened it, and there
stood Madge in the passage, her hands full of red and white
daisies.
"I have brought you some flowers, Cousin Madelon," said the
child shyly.
"They are beautiful," said Madelon, taking them from her;
"won't you come in? I will put some of them in my hair."
She sat down before the looking-glass, and began arranging
them in her hair, whilst Madge stood and watched her with
wide-open eyes.
"They are out of my own garden," she said presently.
"I might have guessed that, they are so pretty," said Madelon,
turning round and smiling at her; it was in the girl's nature
to make these little gracious speeches, which came to her more
readily than ordinary words of thanks. "I like them very
much," she went on; "they remind me of some that grew in the
convent garden."
"Were you ever in a convent?" asked Madge, with a certain awe.
"Yes, for two years, when I was about as old as you are."
"And were there any nuns there?" asked Madge, whose ideas were
not enlarged, and who looked upon a nun as the embodiment of
much romance.
"To be sure," answered Madelon, rather amused; "they were all
nuns, except some little girls who came every day to be taught
by them."
"Then you were at school there?" said Madge.
"Not exactly; my aunt was the—what do you call it?—Lady
Superior of the convent; that was why I went there."
"And did you like it?" inquired Madge, who was apparently of
opinion that such an opportunity for gaining exceptional
information should not be wasted.
"I don't know," answered Madelon; "I don't think I did at the
time; I used to find it very dull, and I often longed to be
away. But the nuns were very kind to me; and it is pleasant to
look back upon, so quiet and peaceful. I think we don't always
know when and where we are happy," she added, with a little
sigh.
She sat leaning against the table, her head resting on her
hand, thinking over the past—as she was for ever thinking of
the past now, poor child! How sad, how weary they had been,
those years in the convent—yes, she knew that she had found
them so—and yet how peaceful, how innocent, how sheltered!
Reading her past life in the new light that every day made its
shadows darker, she knew that those years were the only ones
of her childhood which she could look back upon, without the
sudden pang that would come with the memory of those others
which she had found so happy then, but which she knew now
were—what? Ah, something so different from what she had once
imagined! But as for those days at the convent, they came back
to her, softened by the kindly haze of time, with the
strangest sense of restfulness and security, utterly at
variance, one would say, with the restless longing with which
she looked out on the world of action—and yet not wholly
inconsistent with it perhaps, after all. Did she indeed know
when and where she would be happy?
Madge, meanwhile, stood and looked at her. She had fairly
fallen in love with this new cousin of hers; her beauty, and
gracious ways, her foreign accent, and now her experiences of
nuns and convents had come like a revelation to the little
English girl in her downright, everyday life. With a comical
incongruity, she could compare her in her own mind to nothing
but an enchanted princess in some fairy tale; and she stood
gazing first at her and then at the glass, where soft wavy
brown hair and red and white daisies were reflected.
"What are you thinking of?" said Madelon, looking up suddenly.
"I—I don't know," replied Madge, quite taken aback, colouring
and stammering; and then, as if she could not help it—"Oh!
Cousin Madelon, you are so pretty."
"It is very pretty of you to say so," said Madelon, laughing
and blushing too a little; then holding out both hands she
drew Madge towards her, and kissed her on her two cheeks. "I
think you and I will be great friends; will we not?" she said.
"Yes," says unresponsive Madge shortly, looking down and
twisting her fingers in her awkward English fashion.
"I would like you to be fond of me," continued Madelon, "for I
think I shall love you very much; and I like you to call me
Madelon—nobody else calls me so—except—except your Uncle
Horace."
"It was Uncle Horace told me to," cried Madge. "I asked him
what I should call you, and he said he thought Cousin Madelon
would do."
"I think it will do very well," said Madelon, rising. "To-
morrow will you take me to your garden? I should like to see
your daisies growing."
After this Madge and Madelon became great friends; and when
the former was at her lessons, there was a nurseryfull of
younger children to pet and play with, if Madelon felt so
disposed. Sometimes in the morning, when she was sitting alone
in the drawing-room, little feet would go scampering along the
floor upstairs, shrill little voices would make themselves
heard from above, and then Madelon, throwing down book or
work, would run up to the big nursery, where, whilst the two
elder children were in the school-room with their mother,
three round, rosy children kept up a perpetual uproar. It was
quite a new sensation to our lonely Madelon to have these
small things to caress, and romp with, and fondle, and she
felt that it was a moment of triumph when they had learnt to
greet her entrance with a shout of joy. Down on the floor she
would go, and be surrounded in a moment with petitions for a
game, a story, a ride.
Graham came up one day in the midst of a most uproarious romp.
"Nurse," he said, putting his head in at the door, "I do wish
you would keep these children quiet—" and stopped as suddenly
as the noise had stopped at his appearance. Madelon, all
blushing and confused, was standing with the youngest boy
riding on her back, whilst the little girls, Lina and Kate,
were holding on to her skirts behind; they had pulled down all
her hair, and it was hanging in loose waves over her
shoulders.
"I beg your pardon, Madelon," said Graham, coming in, and
smiling at her confusion. "I had no idea that you were here,
and the instigator of all this uproar; where is nurse? I shall
have to ask her to keep you all in order together."
"Nurse has gone downstairs to do some ironing," says Lina.
"Oh, Uncle Horace, we were having such fun with Cousin
Madelon."
"Uncle Horace, will you give me a ride? You give better rides
than Cousin Madelon," cries Jack, slipping down on to the
ground.
"Uncle Horace, Cousin Madelon has been telling us about South
America, and we have been hunting buffaloes."
"I am sorry," says Madelon; "I quite forgot how busy you are,
Monsieur Horace, and that you could hear all our noise. We
will be quieter for the future, and not hunt buffaloes just
over your head."
He looked at her without answering; there was a flush on her
pale cheeks under the shadow of the heavy waves of hair, a
smile in her eyes as she looked at him with one of her old,
shy, childish glances, as if not quite sure how he would take
her apology. He could not help smiling in answer, then laughed
outright, and turned away abruptly.
"Come here, then Jack, and I will give you a ride," he said,
lifting the boy on to his shoulder. "This is the way we hunt
buffaloes."
Half-an-hour later, Maria, just come in from the village,
looked into the nursery, attracted by the shouts and laughter.
"It is really very odd," she said afterwards to Mrs. Vavasour,
in a somewhat aggrieved tone, "that when Horace always
declares he cannot find time to walk with me, or even to talk
to me, he should spend half his morning romping with the
children in the nursery." And Mrs. Vavasour, who had also gone
upstairs with Madge and Harry when they had finished their
lessons, had not much to say in answer.
Ich kann nicht hin!
One day, Madelon said to Mrs. Vavasour, "Please let me have
all the children for a walk this afternoon."
"What, all! my dear girl," said Mrs. Vavasour; "you don't know
what you are undertaking."
"Oh, yes, I do," Madelon answered, smiling; "they will be very
good, I know, and Madge will help me."
So they all set out for their walk, through the garden, and
out at the gate that led at once into the fields which
stretched beyond. They walked one by one along the narrow
track between the springing corn, a little flock of brown-
holland children, and Madelon last of all, in her fresh grey
spring dress. Harry had a drum, and marched on in front,
drubbing with all his might; and Jack followed, brandishing a
sword, and blowing a tin trumpet. Madge would have stopped
this horrible din, which indeed scared away the birds to right
and left, but Madelon only laughed and said she liked it.
Graham, coming across the fields in another direction, saw the
little procession advancing towards him, and waited on the
other side of a stile till it should come up. The children
tumbled joyfully over into Uncle Horace's arms, and were at
once ready with a hundred plans for profiting by the unwonted
pleasure of having him for a companion in their walk; but he
distinctly declined all their propositions, and sending them
on in front with Madge, walked along at Madelon's side.
"Why do you plague yourself with all these children," he said,
"instead of taking a peaceable walk in peaceable society?"
"I like the children," she answered, "and I should have found
no society but my own this afternoon, for Mrs. Vavasour was
going to pay visits, she said, and Maria went out directly
after lunch."
"And you think your own society would have been less peaceable
than that of these noisy little ruffians?"
"I don't know," she answered; "I like walking by myself very
much sometimes, but I like the children, too, and Madge and I
are great friends."
"I think Madge shows her sense—she and I are great friends,
too," said Graham, laughing.
"Madge thinks there is no one in the world like Uncle Horace—
she is always talking about you," said Madelon, shyly.
"That is strange—to me she is always talking about you—she
looks upon you as a sort of fairy princess, I believe, who has
lived in a charmed world as strange to her as any she reads
about in story-books. Madge's experiences are limited, and it
does not take much to set her little brain working. If Maria
and I are abroad next winter, I think I must get Georgie to
spare her to me for a time."
"Are you going abroad again?" said Madelon; and as she asked
the question, a chill shadow seemed to fall upon the bright
spring landscape.
"It is possible— I have heard of an opening."
He paused for a moment, and then went on,—
"I don't know why I should not tell you all about it, Madelon,
though I have said nothing about it to any one yet—but it will
be no secret. I had a letter this morning telling me that
there is an opening for a physician at L——, that small place
on the Mediterranean, you know, that has come so much into
fashion lately as a winter place for invalids. Dr. B——, an old
friend of mine, who is there now, is going to leave it, and he
has written to give me the first offer of being his
successor."
"And shall you go?" asked Madelon.
"Well, I should like it well enough for a good many reasons,
for the next two or three years, at any rate. It is a lovely
place, a good climate, and I should not feel myself tied down
if anything else turned up that suited me better; but there
are other considerations—in fact, I cannot decide without
thinking it well over."
"But at any rate, you would not go there till next winter,
would you?" said Madelon, with a tremor in her voice which she
vainly tried to conceal.
"Not to stop; but if I accept this offer, I should go out
immediately for a week or two, so as to get introduced to B——
's patients before they leave. A good many will be returning
next winter probably, and it would be as well for me, as a
matter of business, to make their acquaintance; you
understand?"
"Yes, I understand—but then you would have to go at once,
Monsieur Horace, for it is already April, and the weather is
so warm that people will be coming away. I remember how they
used to fly from Nice and Florence—every one that we knew as
soon as it began to get hot."
"Yes, I have not much time to lose, and if I decide to go at
all, I shall start at once. But it is very doubtful."
They had reached the end of the field whilst talking; a heavy
gate separated it from a lane beyond, and the children, unable
to open it, had dispersed here and there along the bank,
hunting for primroses.
"Shall we go on?" said Graham, "or would you like to turn back
now? You look tired."
Madelon did not answer; what was the use of going on? What did
it matter? Everything came to the same end at last—a sense of
utter discouragement and weariness had seized her, and she
stood leaning against the gate, staring blankly down the road
before her. There were about twenty yards of shady, grassy
lane, and then it was divided by a cross-road, with a cottage
standing at one of the angles. Graham, who was looking at
Madelon, saw her face change suddenly.
"Why, there are——" she began, and then stopped abruptly,
colouring with confusion.
Graham looked; two figures had just appeared from one of the
cross-roads, and walking slowly forward, had paused in front
of the cottage; they were Mr. Morris the curate and Maria
Leslie. The clergyman stood with his back to Graham and
Madelon, but they could see Maria with her handkerchief to her
eyes, apparently weeping bitterly. The curate was holding one
of her hands in both his, and so they stood together for a
moment, till he raised it to his lips. Then she pulled it away
vehemently, and burying her face completely in her
handkerchief, hurried off in a direction opposite to that by
which she had come. Mr. Morris stood gazing after her for a
moment, and then he also disappeared within the cottage.
This little scene passed so rapidly, that the two looking on
had hardly time to realize that they were looking on, before
it was all over. There was a sort of pause. Madelon gave one
glance to Graham, and turned away—then the children came
running up with their primroses. "Here are some for you, Uncle
Horace; Cousin Madelon, please may I put some in your hat?"
Madelon took off her hat, and stooped down to help Madge
arrange the flowers; she would not try to understand the
meaning of what they had just witnessed, nor to interpret
Monsieur Horace's look.
"You are going home," said Graham, unfastening the gate
without looking at her; "then we part company here; I have to
go further." And without another word he strode off, leaving
the children disconcerted and rebellious at this abrupt
termination of their walk.
"Madge," said Madelon, caressing the little square perplexed
face, "you won't mind having a short walk to-day, will you?
Let us go home now, and we will play in the garden till your
tea-time;" and wise little Madge agreed without further demur.
It was on the evening of the same day that Madelon, coming in
from the garden where she had been wandering alone in the
twilight, found Horace discussing his plans with Mrs.
Vavasour, who was making tea. She would have gone away again,
but Graham called her back, and went on talking to his sister.
"I must send an answer as soon as possible," he was saying; "I
can't keep B—— waiting for a month while I am making up my
mind; I will speak to Maria this evening."
"It would be as well," answered Mrs. Vavasour; "she ought to
be told at once. But must an answer be sent immediately? I
think you will see that it will be useless to hurry Maria for
a decision; she will want time for consideration."
"She shall have any reasonable time," he replied shortly; "but
that is why I shall speak at once—she can think it over."
"And if you have in a measure made up your mind," continued
her sister, "she will be better pleased, I am sure; she will
wish in some sort to be guided by your wishes."
"That is just what I am anxious to avoid," he answered
impatiently. "I do not desire to influence her in any way; I
would not for the world that she should make any sacrifice on
my account, and then be miserable for ever after."
"My dear Horace, you do not suppose Maria——"
"My dear Georgie, I know what Maria is, and you must allow me
to take my own way."
He began to stride up and down the room with his hands in his
pockets, Madelon watching him in silence. Presently he began
again:—
"I know what Molly is; if she imagined that I wanted to go to
this place, she would say 'Go,' without thinking of herself
for a moment; but ten to one, when we got there, she would be
for ever regretting England, and hating the society, and the
mode of life, and everything, and everybody; and it would be
very natural—she has never been abroad, and knows nothing of
foreign life and manners."
"Then you do not mean to go?" said Mrs. Vavasour.
"I have not said so," he answered—"I shall put the matter
calmly before Maria; tell her what I think are the reasons for
and against, and leave her to decide. I suppose she cannot
complain of that."
"I do not imagine for a moment she will complain," replied
Mrs. Vavasour; "but I think she will want your judgment to
help her."
He only muttered something in answer to this; and Madelon
asked in a low voice, "Is it about going abroad that Monsieur
Horace is doubting?"
"Yes, he told you about it, did he not?" said Mrs. Vavasour.
"I hope he may decide to go—it would be the very thing for
him."
"Do you think so?" said Graham, who had overheard this last
remark; and turning to Madelon with rather a melancholy smile,
"Listen to the description, Madelon, and tell me what you
think of it—a little town on the shores of the Mediterranean,
sheltered on every side by hills, so that all the winter is
spring, and flowers bloom all the year round. The gardens are
full of pomegranate and orange trees, and the hills are
terraced with vineyards, and covered with olives and chestnuts
everywhere else. Do you think that that sounds inviting?"
"A great deal too good to be true," said Mrs. Vavasour,
laughing. "I never believe thoroughly in these earthly
paradises." But Madelon did not laugh; her eyes lighted up,
her cheeks glowed.
"Ah!" she cried, "I can imagine all that. I believe in such
places; they exist somewhere in the world, but one cannot get
to them."
"One can sometimes," said Graham; "for perhaps Maria and I are
going to this one, and then you had better become an invalid
as fast as possible, Madelon, that Aunt Barbara may bring you
there too."
"And you are really going?" she asked, with a sad sick feeling
at her heart.
"Perhaps," he said, "we shall see what Maria says. I am afraid
she may not take the same view of it all that you do;" and
Maria coming in at that moment, the conversation dropped.
After tea they were all sitting, as usual, in the drawing-
room; a wood fire burnt and crackled on the low hearth, but
the evening was warm, and the long windows were open to the
lawn, where Graham was walking up and down, smoking a pipe.
Dr. Vavasour was dozing in an arm-chair, Mrs. Vavasour sat a
the table stitching, Maria in the shade knitting cotton socks,
and Madelon was leaning back in her chair, the lamplight
falling on her brown hair and white dress, a piece of
embroidery between her fingers, but her hands lying in her
lap, and such sad thoughts in her poor little weary head. So
this was the end of it all? Monsieur Horace was going to be
married, and then live abroad—yes, she was certain he would
live abroad—who would stay in England if they could help it?—
and she would never, never see him again! The one thought
revolved in her brain with a sort of dull weariness, which
prevented her seizing more than half its meaning, but which
only required a touch to startle it into acutest pain. No one
spoke or moved, and this oppressive silence of a room full of
people seemed to perplex her as with a sense of unreality, and
was more distracting for the moment than would have been the
confusion of a dozen tongues around her.
Presently, however, Graham came in from the garden, and walked
straight up to her.
"Will you not sing something?" he said.
She rose at once without speaking or raising her eyes, and
went to the piano.
"What shall I sing?" she said then, turning over her music.
"Anything—it does not matter," said Graham, who had followed
her; "never mind your music—sing the first thing that comes
into your head."
She considered a moment, and then began.
When Madelon sang, her hearers could not choose but listen; in
other matters she had very sufficient abilities, but in
singing she rose to genius. Gifted by nature with a superb
voice, an exceptional musical talent, these had been carefully
cultivated during the last two or three years, and the result
was an art that was no art, a noble and simple style, which
gave an added intensity to her natural powers of expression,
and forbade every suspicion of affectation. As she sang now,
the Doctor roused up from his doze, and Mrs. Vavasour dropped
her work; only Maria Leslie, sitting in the shadow of the
window-curtain, knitted on with increased assiduity.
It was a German song, Schumann's "Sehnsucht," that she was
singing; it was the first that had come to her mind at
Graham's bidding, and, still preoccupied, she began it almost
without thought of the words and sentiment; but she had not
sung two lines, when some hidden emotion made itself felt in
her face with a quite irresistible enthusiasm and pathos.
These were the words:—
"Ich blick' im mein Herz, und ich blick' in die Welt,
Bis vom schwimmenden Auge die Thraene mir faellt:
Wohl leuchtet die Ferne mit goldenem Licht,
Doch haelt mich der Nord, ich erreiche sie nicht.
O die Schranken so eng, und die Welt so weit!
Und so fluechtig die Zeit, und so fluechtig die Zeit.
Ich weiss ein Land, wo aus sonnigem Gruen
Um versunkene Temple die Trauben bluehn,
Wo die purpurne Woge das Ufer besauemt,
Und von kommenden Saengern der Lorbeer traeumt;
Fern lockt es und winkt dem verlangenden Sinn,
Und ich kann nicht hin—kann nicht hin!"
As Madelon sang these last words she looked up, and her eyes
met Graham's, as he stood leaning against the piano, gazing at
her face. She blushed scarlet, and stopped suddenly.
"I—I don't think I can sing any more," she said, letting her
hands fall from the keys into her lap. She turned round, and
saw Maria looking at her also, watching her and Graham
perhaps. "How hot it is!" she cried, pushing the hair off her
forehead with a little impatient gesture. "J'etouffe ici!" And
she jumped up quickly and ran out of the room.
Out of the atmosphere of love, and suspicion, and jealousy
that was stifling her, into the hall, up the shallow staircase
to the long matted passage which ran the length of the house,
the bed-rooms opening on to it on either side. Madelon paced
it rapidly for some minutes, then opened a door at the end,
and entered the nursery. Nothing stifling here; a large, cool,
airy room, with white blinds drawn down, subduing the full
moonlight to a soft gloom, in which one could discern two
little beds, each with its small occupant, whose regular
breathing told that they had done, for ever, with the cares
and sorrows of at least that day.
Madelon stood looking at them, the excitement that had made
her cheeks burn, and her pulses throb, subsiding gradually in
presence of this subdued, unconscious life. She smoothed the
sheets and counterpane of one little sleeper, who, with bare
limbs tossed about, was lying right across the bed, all the
careful tuckings-up wofully disarranged; and then, passing on,
went into an inner room, that opened out of the larger
nursery. The window was open here to the cool, grey sky, the
moonlight shining in on the white curtains, the little white
bed at the further end.
"Is that you, Cousin Madelon?" says Madge, raising a brown,
shaggy head as Madelon softly opened the door. "Won't you come
in, please? I am not asleep."
Madelon came in, and went to the window. It looked down upon
the lawn, with the still tree-shadows lying across it, and
some other shadows that were not still—those of two people
walking up and down, talking earnestly. She could distinguish
Monsieur Horace's voice, and then Maria's in answer, and then
Monsieur Horace again, and a sudden pang seemed to seize the
poor child's heart, and hold it tight in its grasp. How happy
they were, those two, talking together down there, whilst she
was all alone up her, looking on!
"Do come here, Cousin Madelon," said Madge's impatient voice
from the bed. "I want you to tuck me up, and give me a kiss."
Madelon went up to the bed, and kneeling down by it, laid her
cheek wearily by Madge's on the pillow. The child passed her
arm round her neck, and hugged her tight, and the innocent,
loving caress soothed the girl's sore heart, for the moment,
more than anything else could have done.
"Little Madge," she said, drawing the child closer to her, as
if the pressure of the little, soft, warm limbs had power to
stop the aching at her heart. "Oh! Madge, I wish I were no
bigger and no older than you. One is happier so."
"Do you?" said Madge, wondering. "I should like to be grown-
up, as tall and beautiful as you are, and to sing like you.
You were singing just now downstairs; I opened the window, and
could hear you quite plainly. Why did you stop so soon?"
"It was hot," said Madelon, her face flushing up again at the
recollection; "and one is not always in the mood for singing,
you know, Madge."
"Ah, but do sing me just one song, now, Cousin Madelon—just
here, before I go to sleep."
Still kneeling, with Madge's head nestling on her shoulder,
Madelon began to sing a little half-gay, half-melancholy
French romance of many verses. The tune seemed to grow more
and more plaintive as it went on, a pathetic, monotonous
chant, rising and falling. Before it was ended, Madge's hold
had relaxed, her eyes were closed—she was sound asleep for the
night. Madelon rose gently, kissed the honest, rosy, freckled
face; and then, as if drawn by some invincible attraction,
went back to the window.
Yes; they were still there, those two, not walking up and down
now, but standing under the big tree at the end of the lawn
still talking, as she could see by their gestures. "Ah, how
happy they are!" thinks our Madelon again, forgetting the
scene of the afternoon, her doubts, her half-formed
suspicions—how happy they must be, Monsieur Horace, who loves
Maria, Maria who is loved by Monsieur Horace, whilst she—why,
it is she who loves Monsieur Horace, who has loved him since
he rescued her, a little child, from loneliness and despair—
she, who for all these years has had but one thought, Monsieur
Horace, one object, Monsieur Horace, and who sees herself now
shut out from such a bright, gleaming paradise, into such
shivering outer darkness. Ah, she loved him—she loved him—she
owned it to herself now, with a sudden burst of passion—and he
was going away; he had no thought of her; his path in life lay
along one road, and hers along another—a road how blank, how
dreary, wrapped in what grey, unswerving mists.
"Ah, why must I live? Oh! that I could die—if I could only
die!" cries the poor child passionately in her thoughts,
stretching out her hands in her young impatience of life and
suffering. "I love him—is it wrong? How can I help it? I loved
him before I knew what it meant, I never knew till——"
She stopped suddenly, with a blush that seemed to set her
cheeks all a-flame—she had never known till half-an-hour ago,
when she had looked up and met his eyes for that one moment.
Ah! why had he looked at her so? And she—oh, merciful heavens!
had she betrayed herself? At the very thought Madelon started
as if she had been stung. She turned from the window, she
covered her face with her hands, and escaping swiftly, she
fled to her own room, and throwing herself on the bed, buried
her face in the pillow, to wrestle through her poor little
tragedy of love, and self-consciousness, and despair.
And while Madelon is crying her heart out upstairs, this is
what has been going on below. There had been an uncomfortable
pause in the sitting-room after her swift retreat; Mrs.
Vavasour neither moved nor spoke, Maria knitted diligently,
and Graham stood gloomily staring down on the music-stool
where Madelon had sat and sung, and looked up at him with that
sudden gleam in her eyes, till, rousing himself, he walked
through the open window, into the garden, across the lawn, to
the shrubbery. He stood leaning over the little gate at the
end of the path, looking over the broad moonlit field, where
the scattered bushes cast strange fantastic shadows, and for
the first time he admitted to himself that he had made a
great, a terrible mistake in life, and he hated himself for
the admission. What indeed were faith, and loyalty, and honour
worth, if they could not keep him true to the girl whose love
he had won five years ago, and to whom he was a thousand times
pledged by every loving promise, every word of affection that
had once passed between them? And yet, was this Maria to whom
he had come back, this Maria so cold and indifferent, so alien
from him in tastes, ideas, sympathies, was she indeed the very
woman who had once won his heart, whom he had chosen as his
life-long companion? How had it all been? He looked back into
the past, to the first days after his return from the Crimea,
when, wounded and helpless, worn out with toil and fever, he
had come back to be tended by Englishwomen in an English home.
A vision rose before him of a blooming girl with blue ribbons
that matched blue eyes, who came and went about him softly
through the long spring and summer days, arranging his
cushions, fetching his books, and reading to him by the hour
in gentle, unvarying tones. Yes, he understood well enough how
it had all come to pass; but those days had gone by, and the
Maria who had brightened them, was not she gone also? or
rather, had she ever existed except in the eyes that had
invested the kind girl-nurse with every perfection? And now
what remained? Graham groaned as he bowed his head upon his
crossed arms, and suddenly another vision flitted before him—a
pale face, a slender form, a pair of brown eyes that seemed to
grow out of the twilight, and look at him with a child's
affection, a woman's passion—Graham was no boy, to be tossed
about on the tempestuous waves of a first love; he had long
held that there were things in life, to which love and
courtship, marrying and giving in marriage, might be looked
upon as quite subordinate—and yet he felt, at that moment, as
if life itself would be a cheap exchange for one touch of the
small hand that had clung so confidingly to his, years ago,
for one more look into the eyes that had met his, scarcely ten
minutes since.
Such a mood could not long endure in a man of Graham's stamp
and habit of mind; and in a moment he had roused himself, and
begun to walk slowly back towards the house. What he might
feel could have no practical bearing on the matter one way or
another, and feeling might therefore as well be put out of
sight. He was bound to Maria by every tie of honour, and he
was no man to break those ties—if she were disposed to hold by
them. But was she indeed? Graham had not been blind to what
had been going on round him during the last few weeks, and he
felt that some explanation with Maria was due. Well, there
should be an explanation, and if he found that she was still
willing to hold to their engagement—why, then they would be
married.
He went up to Maria, sitting at the window.
"It is very warm in-doors," he said; "suppose you come and
take a turn in the garden."
"As you like," she answered; "I don't find it particularly
warm;" but she laid down her work at once, and joined him in
the garden.
They took two or three turns up and down the lawn in silence,
till at last Graham, trying to speak cheerfully, said, "I had
a letter this morning, Maria, that I want to consult you
about, as it concerns you as well as me."
"Does it?" she said indifferently. "Well?"
"There is an opening for a physician at that winter place for
invalids on the Mediterranean," said Graham, explaining, "and
I have the offer of it; it would suit me very well, for the
next year or two at any rate, and would enable us to marry at
once; but my doubt, Maria, is, whether you would not object to
leaving England."
"I don't see what that has to do with it," answered Maria,
shortly and coldly. "Of course you will do what you think
best."
"What I might think best in the abstract, Maria, is not the
point; what I want to ascertain are your wishes in the
matter."
"I should have thought you might have known already," she
replied; "you are very well aware that, for years, it has been
my wish that you should have this partnership with Dr.
Vavasour."
"I am aware of it," he said, and paused. "Listen to me,
Maria," he continued in a moment, "let me put the case fairly
before you. If I accept Dr. Vavasour's offer, it closes, so to
speak, my career. I shall be bound down to this country
practice for life probably, for years at any rate, since,
after making the arrangement, I could not feel justified in
altering it again during Dr. Vavasour's lifetime. If, on the
other hand, I go to L——, I shall be bound to no one, and free
to take anything else that might suit me better."
"Go, then!" cried Maria, hastily, "I will not stand in your
way. I should have thought, Horace, that after all these
years, you would have been glad to look forward to a quiet
home and a settled life; but I see it is different, so go to
L——, and never mind me. If it becomes a question between me
and your career, I should think your choice would not be a
difficult one."
Her voice began to tremble, but she went on vehemently: "Why
do you ask my opinion at all? It can make no difference to
you; you have gone your own way these five years past without
much regard for my wishes, one way or another; and since your
return home, you have hardly spoken to me, much less consulted
me——"
It was at that moment that Madelon, kneeling at Madge's
bedside, began to sing, and the sound of her voice ringing
through the open window of her little upper room, Graham
involuntarily stopped, and lost the thread of Maria's speech.
She perceived it at once.
"Ah! yes, that is it," she cried passionately, hardly knowing
what she said. "Do you think I do not see, that I cannot
understand? Do I not know who it is you care to listen to now,
to talk to, to consult? Ask her what she thinks, ask
Madeleine's advice——"
"Be silent!" cried Horace, with sudden anger, "I will not have
Madeleine's name mentioned between us in that way. Forgive me,
Maria," he went on, more calmly, "but this sort of talk is
useless; though, if I cared to recriminate, I might perhaps
ask you, how it happens that Mr. Morris comes here so
frequently."
"Mr. Morris!" faltered Maria; "who told you——"
Her momentary indignation melted into tears and sobs; she
turned, and put out her hand to Graham, as they stood together
under the big plane-tree.
"Oh, Horace," she said, "I am very unhappy, and if you blame
me, I cannot help it—I daresay I deserve it."
"My poor Molly," he answered, taking her hand in his. "Why
should I blame you? and why are you unhappy? Let me help you—
unless, indeed, I am altogether the cause of it all."
Meanwhile, Mrs. Vavasour, left all alone in the sitting-room,
stitched away in the lamplight, looking out from time to time
into the dewy garden, where the two figures were pacing up and
down. The murmur of their voices reached her, and presently
she also heard Madelon singing up above, and then the two went
away out of hearing, and she could distinguish nothing in the
silence but the rustling of her own work and the soft,
inarticulate sounds of the early night. She could guess pretty
well what the result of that talk would be. That very
afternoon, going to Maria's room on her return home, she had
found the girl in an agony of weeping, and had learnt from her
that Mr. Morris had just made her an offer, and that she had
been obliged to tell him that she was already engaged—and 'Oh!
what could Mr. Morris think of her, and what would Horace
think?' cried poor Maria, filled with remorse. And Mr. Morris
cared for her so much; he had been so miserable when she had
told him they must part, and said she was the only woman he
had seen that he could care for; and that was the only
reproach he had uttered, though she had treated him so badly.
And Horace did not care for her one bit now—she could see it,
she knew it, he was tired of her, and she was not clever
enough for him, and would never make him a good wife. All this
our little-reticent Maria had sobbed out in answer to Mrs.
Vavasour's sympathising questions, with many entreaties to
know what she had better do next. Mrs. Vavasour could only
advise her to say to Horace just what she had said to her, and
she had sufficient confidence in Maria's courage and good
sense to trust that she would do so now, when matters had
evidently come to a crisis. But it was with the keenest
interest she awaited the end of their conversation.
She had not to wait very long. In a few minutes she saw Maria
coming quickly across the lawn; she passed through the window
and the room without looking up or speaking, and, with a
little sob, disappeared. Graham followed more slowly, and
sitting down by the table, moodily watched his sister's
fingers moving rapidly to and fro.
"That is all over," he said at last.
"What is all over?" inquired Mrs. Vavasour.
"Everything between Maria and me. We have agreed upon one
thing at last, at any rate."
"I am sure it is for the best, Horace," said Mrs. Vavasour,
looking at him with her kind, gentle eyes.
"I don't see how anything should be for the best when one has
behaved like a brute, and knows it," he answered, getting up,
and beginning to walk up and down the room.
"Is it you who have been behaving like a brute, Horace? I
cannot fancy that."
"I don't know why not," he answered gloomily; then, pausing in
his walk, "No one knew of our engagement except ourselves and
Aunt Barbara?" he asked.
"No one else was told."
"Well, then, no great harm is done, so far as gossip goes. You
had better write to Aunt Barbara. I shall go abroad at once."
"To this town on the Mediterranean?"
"Yes, I shall write to-night to B——; and I will start by the
seven o'clock train to-morrow morning for London. No one need
get up; I will tell Jane to let me have some breakfast."
"We shall hear from you?"
"Yes, I will write when I am across the water. Good-bye."
He stooped down and kissed her as he spoke. She laid her hand
on his arm, and detained him for a moment.
"Horace," she said, "you must not vex yourself to much about
this; you and Maria have only discovered in time what numbers
of people discover when it is too late—that you are not suited
to each other. Believe me, it is far better to find it out
before marriage than after."
"I daresay you are right," he said. "Don't be afraid, Georgie,
I shall not vex myself too much, but at present the whole
thing appears hateful to me, as far as I am concerned."
The next morning he was gone before any one of the family was
stirring.
Er, der Herrlischste von Allen.
"Ashurst, July, 186—,
"Dear Uncle Horace,—Mamma has a bad headache, and says I am to
write and ask you whether you have quite forgotten us, and if
you are never coming to see us again. She says, cannot you
come next week, because Lady Lorrimer's great ball is on the
31st. She and cousin Madelon are going, and she would be very
glad if you could escort them, as papa says he will not go.
Cousin Madelon is here still, and Aunt Barbara is coming on
Monday to stay with us for a little while before she goes back
with her to Cornwall. Cousin Madelon has been reading French
with me, and giving me music-lessons. We had a pic-nic in the
woods last week, and my holidays begin to-morrow. I wish you
would come back, Uncle Horace, and then we could have some fun
before Cousin Madelon goes away. I wish she would never go,
but stay here always, as Maria used. I have been reading some
of your book; mamma said I might, and I like it very much.
Mamma sends her love, and I am
"Your affectionate niece,
"Madge Vavasour."
"Mamma says that she received yesterday the note that I
enclose, and that she sends it to you to read."
The note was from Maria Leslie, and was dated from a country-
town whither she had gone to stay with some friends, shortly
after Graham's departure from Ashurst.
"Dearest Georgie,
"I feel that you are the first person to whom I should write
the news that I am engaged to be married to Mr. Norris. He has
just had the offer of a living in the north, and lost no time
in coming to tell me of his prospects, and to invite me to
share them. To you, who know him so well, I need say nothing
of my own great happiness. I only fear that, after all that
has passed, you may think I have been a little precipitate;
but I could not but feel that something was due to Mr. Morris,
and that it would be wrong to keep him in suspense. Send me
you good wishes and congratulations, dear Georgie, for I
cannot feel that my happiness is complete without them.
"Ever your affectionate,
"Maria Leslie."
Graham arrived by the last available train on the evening of
the 31st, and was told by Madge, who came running into the
hall to meet him, that Mamma and Cousin Madelon were dressing,
and would Uncle Horace have some dinner, or go and dress too?
Uncle Horace said he had dined already, and would dress at
once, and so disappeared upstairs with his portmanteau.
When he came down to the drawing-room, he found Mrs. Treherne
sitting alone in the summer twilight at the open window.
"Is that you, Horace?" she said, putting out her hand; "you
are quite a stranger here, I understand. Georgie says she has
been jealous of my seeing so much of you in London."
"I think Georgie has no right to complain of me," he answered;
"if there is a thing on earth I hate it's a ball—are you
going, too, Aunt Barbara?"
"Indeed, no—I think you will have enough to do with two
ladies; here comes one of them."
A tall, slender figure, moving through the dusk with her soft
trailing draperies, and water-lilies in her brown hair. Graham
had not seen her since that evening, more than three months
ago, when she had looked up at him, and escaped in the midst
of her unfinished song. They took each other's hands in
silence now; a sudden consciousness and embarrassment seemed
to oppress them both, and make the utterance of a word
impossible.
Madelon was the first to speak; she went up to Mrs. Treherne.
"Can you see my flowers, Aunt Barbara?" she said; "are they
not pretty? Madge walked three miles to-day to the sedge
ponds, on purpose to get them for me."
"Is Madge still your devoted friend?" Horace asked.
"Oh! yes, Madge and I are always great friends. I must not
expect all her attentions though, now that you are come back,
Monsieur Horace."
The old childish name seemed to break the spell, and to bring
back the old familiarity.
"And so you are going to a ball at last, Madelon," Graham
said. "For the first time in my life I am sorry I cannot
dance, for I shall be deprived of the pleasure of having you
for a partner."
"Thank you," she said, "I should have liked to have danced
with you very much; but, after all, it is in the intention
that is the greatest compliment, so I will not mind too much.
I think I will be very happy even if I do not dance at all."
She looked up at him for the first time, and even in the dusk
he seemed to see the light in her eyes, the smile on her lips,
the colour flushing in her cheeks. It was not of the ball she
was thinking—it was of him; she had felt the grasp of his kind
hand, his voice was sounding in her hears, he has come back at
last—at last.
"You have been away a long time, Monsieur Horace," she said
softly, "but we have heard of you often; we have read your
book, and the critiques upon it; it has been a great success,
has it not? And then we have seen your name in the papers—at
dinners, at scientific meetings——"
"Yes," said Graham, "I have been doing plenty of hard work
lately; but I have come down into the country to be idle, and
have some fun, as Madge would say. We will take our holidays
together, will we not, Madge?" he added, as the child,
followed by her mother, came into the room.
Lady Lorrimer's ball was the culminating point of a series of
festivities given in honour of the coming of age of an eldest
son. To ordinary eyes, I suppose, it was very like any other
ball, to insure whose success no accessory is wanting that
wealth and good taste can supply; but to our Madelon there was
something almost bewildering in this scene at once familiar
and so strange; in these big, lighted, crowded rooms; in this
music, whose every beat seemed to rouse a thousand memories
and associations, liking the present with the so remote past.
As for Madelon herself, she made a success, ideal almost, as
if she had indeed been the enchanted Princess of little
Madge's fairy tale. Something rare in the style of her beauty—
something in her foreign air and appearance, distinguished her
at once in the crowd of girls; she was sought after from the
moment she entered the room, and the biggest personages
present begged for an introduction to Miss Linders. The girl
was not insensible to her triumphs; her cheeks flushed, her
eyes brightened with excitement and pleasure. Once, in a pause
of the waltz, she was standing with her partner close to where
Graham was leaning against a wall. He had an air of being
horribly bored, as indeed he was; but Madelon's eye caught
his, and he was obliged to smile in answer to her look of
radiant pleasure.
"You are enjoying yourself, I see, Madelon," he said.
"I never was so happy!" she cried. "Ah! if you knew how I love
dancing!—and it is so many years since I have had a waltz!"
Later on in the evening, Lady Lorrimer, the fashionable, gay,
kind-hearted hostess, came up to her.
"Miss Linders," she said, "I have a favour to ask of you. My
aunt, Lady Adelaide Spencer, is passionately fond of music,
and Mrs. Vavasour has been telling us how beautifully you
sing. Would it be too much to ask you for one song? It is not
fair, I know, in the midst of a ball, but the next dance is
only a quadrille, I see——"
"I shall be most happy," says Madelon, blushing up, and
following Lady Lorrimer down a long corridor into a music-
room. There were not above a dozen people present when she
began to sing, but the room was quite full before she rose
from the piano. She sang one song after another, as it was
asked for—French, German, English. The excitement of the
moment, the sense of triumph and success, seemed to fill her
with a sort of exaltation; never had her voice been so true
and powerful, her accent so pure, her expression so grand and
pathetic; she sang as if inspired by the very genius of song.
"We must not be unconscionable, and deprive Miss Linders of
all her dancing," said Lady Lorrimer at last—"you would like
to go back to the ball-room now, would you not? But first let
me introduce you to my aunt; she will thank you better than I
can for your singing."
Lady Adelaide Spencer, the great lady of the neighbourhood, a
short, stout, good-natured old woman in black velvet, and a
grizzled front, gave Madelon a most flattering reception.
"Sit down and talk to me a little," she said. "I want to thank
you again for your lovely voice and singing. It is not every
young lady who would give up her dancing just for an old
woman's caprice."
"Indeed I like singing as much as dancing," says Madelon.
"And you do both equally well, my dear; you may believe me
when I tell you so, for I know what good dancing is, and I
have been watching you all the evening. You must come and see
me and sing to me again. You live with your aunt, Mrs.
Treherne, Mrs. Vavasour tells me."
"Yes," replied Madelon.
"I knew Mrs. Treherne well years ago; tell her from me when
you go home, that an old woman has fallen in love with her
pretty niece, and ask her to bring you to see me. She is
staying at Ashurst, I believe?"
"Yes," said Madelon, "we are both at Dr. Vavasour's house. I
have been there all the spring and summer, and Aunt Barbara
has come for a few weeks before we go home to Cornwall."
"Do you live always in Cornwall?" asked Lady Adelaide. "Have
you never been abroad? Your French and German in singing were
quite perfect, but you seem to me to speak English with a
foreign accent, and a very pretty one too."
"I was born abroad," answered Madelon—"I spent all the first
part of my life on the Continent. I have been in England only
five years."
"Ah, that accounts for it all, then. What part of the
Continent do you come from?"
"I was born in Paris," says unthinking Madelon, "but we—I
travelled about a great deal; one winter I was in Florence,
and another in Nice, but I know Germany and Belgium best. I
was often at Wiesbaden, and Homburg, and Spa."
"Very pretty places, all of them," said Lady Adelaide, "but so
shockingly wicked! It is dreadful to think of the company one
meets there. Did you ever see the gambling tables, my dear?
But I dare say not; you would of course be too young to be
taken into such places."
"Yes, I have seen them," said Madelon, suddenly scarlet.
"My health obliges me to go to these baths from time to time,"
continued the old lady; "but the thought of what goes on in
those Kursaals quite takes away any pleasure I might otherwise
have; and the people who frequent the tables—the women and the
men who go there night after night! I assure you my blood has
run cold sometimes when one of those notorious gamblers has
been pointed out to me, and I think of the young lives he may
have ruined, the young souls he may have tempted to
destruction. I myself have known some sad cases—I am sure you
sympathise with me, Miss Linders?"
"Lady Adelaide," said a portly gentleman, coming up, "will you
allow me to take you into supper?"
"You will not forget to come and see me, my dear," cried Lady
Adelaide, with a parting wave of her fan as she moved away,
leaving the girl sitting there, silent and motionless. People
brushed by her as they left the room, but she paid no heed.
Mrs. Vavasour spoke to her as she passed on her way to supper,
but Madelon did not answer. All at once she sprang up, looking
round as if longing to escape; as she did so, her eyes met
Graham's; he was standing close to her, behind her chair, and
something in his expression, something of sympathy, of
compassion perhaps, made her cheeks flame, and her eyes fill
with sudden tears of resentment and humiliation. He had heard
them, he had heard every word that had been said, and he was
pitying her! What right had he, what did she want with his
compassion? She met his glance with one of defiance, and then
turned her back upon him; she must remain where she was, she
could not go out of the room alone, but, at any rate, he
should not have the opportunity of letting her see that he
pitied her.
Horace, however, who had in fact heard every word of the
conversation, and perhaps understood Madelon's looks well
enough, came up to her, as she stood alone, watching the
people stream by her out of the room.
"There is supper going on somewhere," he said; "will you come
and have some, or shall I bring you an ice here?"
"Neither," she answered, quickly. "I—I don't want anything,
and I would rather stay here."
"Perhaps you are right," he said. "We shall have the room to
ourselves in a minute, and then it will be cooler."
In fact, the room was nearly deserted—almost every one had
gone away to supper. Madelon stood leaning against the window,
half hidden by the curtain; the sudden gleam of defiance, of
resentment against Horace, had faded; it had vanished at the
sound of his kind voice, which she loved better than any other
in the world. But there were tears of passion still in her
eyes; her little moment of joyousness and triumph had been so
cruelly dashed from her; she felt hurt, humiliated, almost
exasperated.
"How hot it is!" she said, glancing round impatiently. "Where
is every one gone? Cannot we go too? No, not in to supper.
What is going on in that little room? I have not been there."
"It leads into the garden, I think," answered Graham. "Shall
we see? Wait a moment. I will fetch you a shawl, and then, if
you like, we can go out."
He strode off quickly. There was vexation and perplexity in
his kind heart too. He understood well enough how the girl had
been wounded—his little Madelon, for whom it would have seemed
a small thing to give his right hand, could such a sacrifice
have availed her aught. And he could do nothing. His
compassion insulted her, his interference she would have
resented; no, he could do nothing to protect his little girl.
So he thought as he made his way into the cloak-room to
extract a shawl. He was going his way in the world, and she
hers, and she might be suffering, lonely, unprotected, for
aught that he could do, unless—unless——
"Those cloaks belong to Lady Adelaide's party," cried the
maid, as Graham recklessly seized hold of one in a bundle.
"You must not take those, sir; Lady Adelaide will be going
immediately."
"Confound the cloaks, and Lady Adelaide too!" cried Graham,
impatiently. "Here, give me something—anything. Where is Miss
Linders' shawl? Which are Mrs. Vavasour's things?"
Madelon had stood still for a moment after Horace had left
her, and then, as he did not immediately return, she left her
station behind the window-curtain, and began walking up and
down the room. "How tired I am!" she thought wearily. "Will
this evening never end? Oh! I wish I have never come. I wish I
were going away somewhere, anywhere, so that I should never
see or hear again of anybody, that knows anything about me.
Why cannot we go home? It must be very late. I wonder what
time it is? Perhaps there is a clock in here."
The door of the room which Graham had said led into the garden
stood ajar; she pushed it open, and went in. It was a small
room, with a glass door at the further end, and on this
evening had been arranged for cards, so that Madelon, on
entering, suddenly found herself in the midst of green-baize-
covered tables, lighted candles, packs of cards, and a dozen
or so of silent, absorbed gentlemen, intent upon the trumps
and honours, points and odd tricks. The girl, already excited,
and morbidly susceptible, stopped short at this spectacle, as
one struck with a sudden blow. Not for years, not since that
evening the memory of which ever came upon her with a sudden
sting, when she had met Monsieur Horace at the gambling-tables
of Spa, had Madelon seen a card; Mrs. Treherne never had them
in her house; in those little parties of which mention has
been made as her only dissipation, they had formed no part of
the entertainment, and the sight of them now roused a thousand
tumultuous emotions of pain and pleasure. A thousand
associations attached themselves to those little bits of
pasteboard, whose black and red figures seemed to dance before
her eyes—recollections of those early years with their for-
ever-gone happiness, of her father, of happy evenings that
she, an innocent, unconscious child, had passed at his side,
building houses with old packs of cards, or spinning the
little gold pieces that passed backwards and forwards so
freely. She was happy then, happier than she could ever be
again, she thought despairingly, now that she had been taught
so sore a knowledge of good and evil. The last evening of her
father's life came suddenly before her; she seemed to hear
again his last words to herself, to see the scene with Legros,
the cards tumbling in a heap on the floor, his dying face. A
kind of terror seized her, and she stood gazing as though
fascinated at the dozen respectable gentlemen dealing their
cards and marking their games, till Graham's step and voice
aroused her.
"Here is your shawl, Madelon," he said, putting it round her
shoulders; "did you think I was ever coming? That woman——"
He stopped short in his speech; she turned round and looked at
him with her white, scared face, her wide-open, brown eyes, as
if she had seen a ghost. Ghosts enough, indeed, our poor
Madelon had seen during these last five minutes; but they were
not visible to Graham, who stood sufficiently astonished and
alarmed, as she turned abruptly away again, and disappeared
through the glass door into the garden.
"Stay, Madelon!" he cried and followed her out into the night.
It was raining, he found, as soon as he got outside. The
garden had been prettily illuminated with coloured lamps hung
along the verandah, and amongst the trees and shrubs, but they
were nearly all extinguished now. It was a bleak mournful
night, summer time though it was, the wind moaning and
sighing, the rain falling steadily. Graham, as he passed
quickly along the sodden path, had a curious sensation of
having been through all this before; another sad, rainy night
came to his mind, a lighted street, a dark avenue, and a
little passionate figure flying before him, instead of the
tall, white one who moved swiftly on now, and finally
disappeared beneath the long shoots of climbing plants that
overhung a sort of summer-house at the end of a walk. The
lamps were not all extinguished here; the wet leaves glistened
as the wind swept the branches to and fro, and Horace, as he
entered, could see Madelon sitting by the little table,
trembling and shivering, her hair all blown about and shining
in the uncertain light. What had suddenly come over her?
Graham was fairly perplexed.
"Madelon," he said, going up to her, "what is the matter? has
anything happened, or any one vexed you?"
"Non, non," she cried, jumping up impatiently, and speaking in
French as she sometimes did when excited, "je n'ai rien—rien du
tout; leave me, Monsieur Horace, I beg of you! How you weary
me with your questions! I was rather hot, and came here for a
little fresh air. That was all."
"You are cooler now," said graham, as she stood drawing her
shawl round her, her teeth chattering.
"Yes," she said, with a little shiver, "it is rather cold
here, and damp; it is raining, is it not? Let us go back and
dance. I adore dancing; it was papa who first taught it to me;
do you know, Monsieur Horace? He taught me a great many
things."
"You had better not dance any more," said Graham, taking her
little burning hand in his. "You are overheated already, and
will catch cold."
She snatched away her hand impatiently.
"Ah! do not touch me!" she cried. "Let us go—why do we stay
here? I do not want your prescriptions, Monsieur Horace. I
will go and dance."
"Wait a minute," said Graham; "let me wrap your shawl closer
round you, or you will be wet through: it is pouring with
rain."
The friendly voice and action went to her heart, and seemed to
reproach her for her harsh, careless words. They walked back
in silence to the house; but when they reached the empty
music-room again, she put both hands on his arm with an
imploring gesture, as if to detain him.
"Don't go—don't leave me!" she said; "I am very wicked,
Monsieur Horace, but—"
And then she dropped down on to a seat in the deep recess
formed by the window.
The sight of her unhappiness touched Graham's heart with a
sharper pang than anything else had power to do. He loved her
so—this poor child—he would have warded off all unhappiness,
all trouble from her life; and there she sat miserable before
him, and it seemed to him he could not raise a finger to help
her.
"You are not happy, Madelon," he said, at length. "Can I do
nothing to help you?"
She raised her head and looked at him.
"Nothing, nothing!" she cried. "Ah, forgive me, Monsieur
Horace, for speaking so to you; but you do not know, you
cannot understand how unhappy I am."
"Buy why, Madelon? What is it? Has any one spoken unkindly to
you?"
"No, no, it is not that. You do not understand. Why do you
come to me here? Why am I here at all? If people knew who and
what I am, would they talk to me as they do? Supposing I had
told Lady Adelaide just now—yes, you heard every word of that
conversation—she would have despised me, as you pitied me,
Monsieur Horace. Yes, you pitied me; I saw it in your eyes."
"My pity is not such as you need resent, Madelon," said
Graham, with a sigh.
"I do not resent it," she answered hastily. "You are kind, you
are good; you do well to pity me. What al I? The daughter of
a—a—yes, I know well enough now—I did not once, but I do now—
and I am here in your society, amongst you all, on
sufferance."
"You are wrong," answered Graham quickly, scarcely thinking of
what he said. "In the first place, it can make no difference
to any one that knows you who your father was; and then you
are here as Mrs. Treherne's niece——"
"I am my father's daughter!" cried Madelon, blazing up, "and I
must not own it. Yes, yes, I understand it all. As Mrs.
Treherne's niece I may be received; but not as—— Oh, papa,
papa!" her voice suddenly breaking down, "why did you die? why
did you leave me all alone?"
Graham stood silent. He felt so keenly for her; he had so
dreaded for her the time when this knowledge of her father's
true character must come home to her. In his wide sympathy
with everything connected with her, he had regrets of that
poor father also, dead years ago, who in his last hours had so
plainly foreseen some such moment as this, and yet not quite,
either.
"Monsieur Horace," Madelon went on wildly, "I did so love
papa, and he loved me—ah, you cannot imagine how much! When I
think of it now, when I see other fathers with their children,
how little they seem to care for them in comparison, I wonder
at his love for me. He nursed me, he played with me, he took
such care of me, he made me so happy. I think sometimes if I
could only hear his voice once more, and see him smiling at me
as he used to smile—and I must not speak of him, I must not
even mention him. It is unjust, it is cruel. I do not want to
live with people who will not let me think of my father."
"You may speak of him to me, Madelon——"
"To you?" she said, interrupting him; "ah, you knew him—you
know how he loved me. But Aunt Barbara—she will not let me
even mention his name."
"Then she is very wrong and very foolish," Graham answered
hastily. "Listen to me, Madelon. You are making yourself
miserable for nothing. To begin with, if everybody in the room
to-night knew who your father was, and all about him, I don't
suppose it would make the least difference; and as for the
rest, you have no occasion to concern or distress yourself
about anything in your father's life, except what relates to
yourself. Whatever he may have been to others, he was the
kindest and most loving of fathers to you, and that is all you
need think about."
"But Aunt Barbara——"
"Never mind Aunt Barbara. If she chooses to do what you and I
think foolish we will not follow her example. You may talk to
me, Madelon, as much as ever you please. I should like to hear
about your father, for I know how often you think of him. Now,
will you go back to the ball-room? I give you leave to dance
now," he added, smiling.
She did not move nor answer, but she looked up at him with a
sudden change in her face, and he saw that she was trembling.
"What is it now, Madelon?" he said.
"You are so good," she said. "When I am unhappy, you always
comfort me—it has always been so——"
"Do I comfort you?" said Graham—"why, that is good news,
Madelon."
"Ah! yes," she cried, in her impulsive way, "you have always
been good to me—how can I forget it? That night when papa
died, and I was so unhappy all alone—and since then, how
often—"
Graham turned away, and walked twice up and down the room.
There was a distant sound of music, and footsteps, and voices,
but people had drifted away into the ball-room again, and they
were alone. He came back to where Madelon was sitting.
"If you think so, indeed, Madelon," he said, "will you not let
it be so always? Do you think you can trust me enough to let
me always take care of you? I can ask for nothing dearer in
life."
"What do you mean?" she cried, glancing up at him startled.
"Do you not understand?" he said, looking at her, and taking
one her little hands in his—"do you not understand that one
may have a secret hidden away for years, and never suspected
even by oneself, perhaps, till all at once one discovers it? I
think I must have had some such secret, Madelon, and that I
never guessed at it till a few months since, when I found a
little girl that I knew years ago, grown up into somebody that
I love better than all the world——"
"Ah! stop!" she cried, jumping up, and pulling her hand away.
"You are good and kind, but it is not possible that you—ah!
Monsieur Horace, I am not worthy!"
"Not worthy! Good heavens, Madelon, you not worthy!" He paused
for a moment. "What is not possible?" he went on. "Perhaps I
am asking too much. I am but a battered old fellow in these
days, I know, and if, indeed, you cannot care enough for me——"
He held out his hand again with a very kind smile. She looked
up at him.
"Monsieur Horace," she said, "I—I do—"
And then she put both hands into his with her old, childish
gesture, and I daresay the little weary spirit thought it had
found its rest at last.
Mrs. Treherne's Forgiveness.
Mrs. Treherne was sitting in the drawing-room of her London
house. The window was open to the hot dusty street, long
shadows lay upon the deserted pavement, the opposite houses
were all closed, and no sound disturbed the stillness of the
September evening but the shouts of the children, as they
played up and down the steps, and under the porticoes of the
houses, and the bells of the Westminster clocks chiming one
quarter after another. Through the half-drawn curtains that
hung between the two drawing-rooms she could see Graham and
Madelon sitting together, looking out upon the Park, as they
talked in low tones, and a sudden sadness filled her heart.
They were to be married next week, and go abroad at once,
whilst she returned to Cornwall; and the even current of a
lonely life, that had been stirred and altered in its course
five years ago, would return to its original channel, to be
disturbed, perhaps, no more.
It was of these five years that Mrs. Treherne was thinking
now, and of others, perhaps, beyond them again, when she too
had been young, and beloved, and happy. There are some lives
which, in their even tenour of mild happiness, seem to glide
smoothly from one scattered sorrow to another, so that to the
very end some of the hopefulness and buoyancy of youth are
retained; but there are others in which are concentrated in
one brief space those keen joys and keener sorrows that no one
quite survives, which, in passing over us take from us our
strongest vitality, our young capacity for happiness and
suffering alike. Such a life had been Mrs. Treherne's. She had
been a woman of deep affections and passions, and they all lay
buried in those early years that had taken from her husband,
and children, and friend, and it was only a dim shadow of her
former self that moved, and spoke, and lived in these latter
days.
It was an old story with her now, however. She did not envy
these two happy people who were talking together in the next
room. It was of Madelon she was thinking most, thinking sadly
enough that in all these years she had not been able to win
the girl's heart. When she had first seen the child of the
friend who in all the world had been most dear to her, she had
promised herself that, for Magdalen's sake, she would take her
home and bring her up as her own daughter; and she had kept
her promise, but she had failed in making her happy. She knew
it now, when she contrasted the Madelon of to-day, going about
with the light in her eyes, and the glad ring in her voice,
with the Madelon of six months ago. She had not been able to
make her happy, and she would leave her without a regret; and
the thought gave Mrs. Treherne a sharper pang than she had
felt for many a day.
And meanwhile this was what Madelon was saying,—
"In another month, Madelon," Graham had said to her, "we shall
be at L——, and you will be looking out on the blue skies that
you have so often longed for."
"Yes," she replied, "and then perhaps I shall be thinking of
the grey ones I have left behind; I shall be sorry to leave
England after all. I will pay your country so much of a
compliment as that, Monsieur Horace, or rather I shall be
sorry to leave some of the English people—Aunt Barbara, I do
not like to think of her alone; she will miss me, she says."
"I should not wonder if she did, Madelon."
"I do not know why she should; I think I have been ungrateful
to her; she has been so good, so kind to me, why have I not
been able to love her more? Where should I have been if she
had not taken care of me? and such care! If I lived to be a
hundred I could never repay all she has done, and now I am
going away to be happy, and she will be lonely and sad."
"We will ask her to come and see us, some day, at L——. I saw a
house when I was there, that would suit us exactly, and it has
a room, which shall be sometimes for Aunt Barbara, sometimes
for Madge. It has an open gallery, and an outside staircase
leading down to the garden, which will delight Madge's small
mind."
"Like my room at Le Trooz," cried Madelon. "Ah! how glad I am
that you can go there first, and that I shall see Jeanne-Marie
again; if only we do not find her ill—it is so long since I
have heard from her, and she used to write so regularly."
"For my part," said Graham, "I wish to see the hotel at
Chaudfontaine, where I first met a small person who was very
rude to me, I remember."
"And your wish will not be gratified, sir, for the season will
be over by next month and the hotel closed for the winter. I
am sorry for that, but I wonder you can wish to see a place
where any one was rude to you—now with me of course it is
different."
"In what way, Madelon?"
"Ah! that I will not tell you—but we will go to the convent at
Liege, Monsieur Horace; I would like to see Soeur Lucie again.
Poor Soeur Lucie—but it is sad to think that she is always
there making her confitures—there are so many other things to
be done in the world."
"For example?"
"Joining a marching regiment," she said, looking at him half-
laughing, half-shyly. "Monsieur Horace, where will you go when
you are tired of L——? You will be tired of it some day, I
know, and so shall I. Where will you go next?"
"I don't know," he answered; "you see, Madelon, in taking a
wife, I undertake a certain responsibility; I can't go
marching about the world as if I were a single man."
"You don't mean that!" she cried, "if I thought you meant
that, I—I—ah, why do you tease me?" she added, as Graham could
not help laughing, "you know you promised me I should go with
you everywhere. I am very strong, I love travelling, I want to
see the world. Where will you go? To America again? I will
adopt the customs and manners of any country; I will dress in
furs with a seal-skin cap, and eat blubber like an Esquimau,
or turn myself into an Indian squaw; would you like to have me
for a squaw, Monsieur Horace? I would lean all their duties; I
believe they carry their husband's game, and never speak till
they are spoken to. My ideas are very vague. But I would
learn—ah, yes, I could learn anything."
Mrs. Treherne was still sitting, thinking her sad thoughts
when she felt an arm passed round her neck, and turning round,
saw Madelon kneeling at her side. "Horace has gone out," she
said; "we have been talking over our plans, Aunt Barbara; we
have settled quite now that we will first go to Liege and Le
Trooz, and see Jeanne-Marie, and then go on to the south. It
is good of Monsieur Horace to go to Liege, for it is all to
please me, and it is quite out of his way."
"And you go on to L—— afterwards? You will be glad to find
yourself abroad again, Madeleine."
"Yes," she said, hesitating; "but I shall be sorry to leave
you, Aunt Barbara."
"Will you, my dear? I am afraid, Madeleine, that I have not
made you very happy, though I have only found it out in these
last few weeks."
"Aunt Barbara, how can you say such a thing?" cried Madelon.
"What have you not done for me? Why, I could never, never
thank you for it all; it is for that—because it is so much—
that I cannot say more. One cannot use the same words that one
does for ordinary things."
"I know, my dear," said Mrs. Treherne, smoothing the girl's
hair, "but nevertheless I have not made you happy, and I now
know the reason why. Yes, I have been talking to Horace, and I
understand your feeling; and if it were all to come again,
perhaps I might act differently; but it is too late now, and
it matters little, since you are happy at last."
"Aunt Barbara, I have been happy——"
"You see, Madeleine, your mother was my very dearest friend;
all your love has been for your father, and that is only
natural; but some day, perhaps, you will understand what a
mother might have been to you, and then, my dear, you will
care for me also a little, knowing how dearly I loved yours."
"I know," said Madelon, "and I do love you, Aunt Barbara, but
I must always care for papa most of all."
"I know, my dear; it is only natural, and from what Horace
tells me, he must have deserved your love." And with those
words, Mrs. Treherne in some sort forgave the man who had been
the one hatred of her life, and won the heart of the girl
beside her.
"Aunt Barbara," she cried again, "I do love you." And this
time Mrs. Treherne believed her.
Conclusion.
The hotel at Chaudfontaine was closed for the winter. Every
window in the big white building was shuttered, every door
barred; the courtyard was empty; not a footstep, nor a voice
was resounded. Nevertheless, an open carriage from Liege
stopped in front of the gate, and two people getting out,
proceeded to look through the iron bars of the railing.
"Was I not right?" said Madelon. "I told you, Horace, it would
be closed for the winter, and so it is."
"I don't care in the least," he replied. "If it affords me any
gratification, Madelon, to look through the railings into that
courtyard, I don't see why I should not have it."
"Oh! by all means," she answered; "but it is just a little
tame, is it not?—for a sentimental visit, to be looking
through these iron bars."
"That is the very place where I sat," said Graham, not heeding
her, "and took you on my knee."
"I don't remember anything about it, Monsieur Horace——"
"Nothing, Madelon?"
"Well, perhaps—you gave me a fish, I remember—it was the fish
that won my heart; and I have it still, you see."
"Oh! then, your heart was won?"
"A little," she answered, glancing up at him for a moment; and
then, moving on, she said, "See here, Horace, this is the
hawthorn bush under which I slept that morning after I had run
away from the convent. How happy I was to have escaped! I
remember standing at this gate afterwards eating my bread, and
that dreadful woman came out of the hotel."
"Is there no way of getting in?" said Graham, shaking the
gate.
"None, I am afraid," Madelon answered. "Stay, there used to be
a path that led round at the back across a little bridge into
the garden. Perhaps we might get in that way."
They were again disappointed; they found the path, and the
wooden bridge that crossed the stream, but another closed gate
prevented their entering the garden.
"This, however, becomes more and more interesting," said
Graham, after looking at the spot attentively. "Yes, this is
the very place, Madelon, where I first saw you with a doll in
your arms."
"Really!" she said.
"Yes, really; and then some one—your father, I think—called
you away."
They were silent for a minute, looking at the trees, the
shrubs, the grass growing all rough and tangled in the
deserted garden.
"We must go," Graham said at last; "it is getting late,
Madelon, and we have to drive back to Liege, remember, after
we have seen Jeanne-Marie."
They got into the carriage again, and drove on towards Le
Trooz, along the valley under the hills, all red and brown
with October woods, beside the river, gleaming between green
pastures in the low afternoon sun. They had arrived at Liege
the day before, and that morning was to have been devoted to
visiting the convent; but the convent was gone. On inquiry,
they learnt that the nuns had removed to another house ten
miles distant from Liege, and on the hills where the old farm-
house, the white, low-roofed convent had once stood so
peacefully, a great iron-foundry was smoking and spouting fire
day and night, covering field and garden with heaps of black
smouldering ashes.
"How places and things change!" said Madelon, as they drove
along; "we have had two disappointments to-day—shall we have a
third, I wonder? Supposing Jeanne-Marie should have gone to
live in another house? Ah! how glad I shall be to see her
again!—and she will be pleased to see me, I know."
As she spoke, the scattered houses, the church, the white
cottages of Le Trooz came in sight. Madelon checked the driver
as they approached the little restaurant, the first house in
the village, and she and Graham got out of the carriage. The
bench still stood before the door, the pigeons were flying
about, and the bee-hives were on their stand, but the blue
board was gone from the white wall, and the place had a
deserted look.
"It is strange," said Madelon. She pushed open the door that
stood ajar, and went into the little public room; it was
empty; the table shoved away into one corner, the chairs
placed against the wall—no signs of the old life and
occupation.
"Can Jeanne-Marie have gone away, do you think?" said Madelon,
almost piteously. "I am sure she cannot be here."
"I will inquire," said Graham.
He went out into the road, and stopped a little girl of ten or
twelve years, who was walking towards the village with a
pitcher of water.
"Do you know whether the woman who lived in this house has
left?" he asked. "Jeanne-Marie she was called, I think?"
The child stared up at the strange gentleman with the foreign
accent:
"Jeanne-Marie that used to live here?" she said. "She is
dead."
"Dead?" cried Madelon. The tears came rushing into her eyes.
"Ah! why did I not know? I would have come if I had known.
When did she die?"
"More than a month ago," the girl answered; "she died here in
this house."
"And who lives here now?" inquired Graham.
"Jacques Monnier—he that works at the factory now. He is out
all day; but his wife should be here."
And in fact, at the sound of the voices, the door leading into
the kitchen opened, and a young woman appeared.
"Pardon," said Madelon, going forward; "we came here to
inquire for Jeanne-Marie; but she—she is dead, we hear."
"Yes, she is dead," the woman replied; then, in answer to
further questions, told how Jeanne-Marie, when she was taken
ill, had refused to let any one be written to, or sent for;
and had died alone at last with no one near her but a hired
nurse. "She left enough money for her burial, and to have a
wooden cross put on her grave," said the woman, "and asked M.
le Cure to see that all her things were sold, and the money
given to the poor."
"Is she buried here?" said Madelon. "Horace, I should like to
see her grave."
"Louise, there, can show it to you," says Madame Monnier,
pointing to the child; "run home with your water, ma petite,
and then come back and show Monsieur and Madame the road to
the churchyard."
"And I have a favour to beg," said Madelon, turning to the
woman again. "I knew Jeanne-Marie well; she was very kind to
me at one time. Might I see the room in which she died? It is
upstairs, is it not, with the window opening on to the steps
leading into the garden?"
The woman consented civilly enough, concealing any
astonishment she might feel at this tall, beautiful lady, who
had come to inquire after Jeanne-Marie; and Madelon left
Graham below, and went up alone to the little bed-room, where
she had spent so many hours. It was hardly altered. The bed
stood in the old place; the vines clustered round the window.
Madelon's heart was full of sorrow; she had loved Jeanne-Marie
so much, and more and more perhaps, as years went on, and she
had learnt to understand better all that the woman had done
for her—and she had died alone—she who had saved her life.
When she came down again Louise had reappeared, and was
waiting to conduct them to the churchyard. The child went on
in front, and they followed her in silence down the village
street. It was already evening, the sun had sunk behind the
hills; the men were returning from their work; the children
were playing and shouting, and the women stood gossiping
before their doors. All was life and animation in the little
village, where a strange, silent woman had once passed to and
fro, with deeds and words of kindness for the suffering and
sorrowful, but who would be seen there no more.
"There is the grave," says Louise, pointing it out to them. It
was in a corner of the little graveyard; the earth was still
fresh over it, and the black cross at its head was one of the
newest amongst the hundred similar ones round about. Graham
dismissed the child with a gratuity, and he and Madelon went
up to the grave. There was no name, only the initials J. M. R.
painted on the cross beneath the three white tears, and the
customary "Priez pour elle!" Some one had hung up a wreath of
immortelles, and a rose-tree, twined round a neighbouring
cross, had shed its petals above Jeanne-Marie's head.
Madelon knelt down and began to pull out some weeds that had
sprung up, whilst Graham stood looking on. Long afterwards,
one might fancy, would that hour still live in his memory—the
peaceful stillness brooding over the little graveyard, the
sunset sky, the sheltering hills, the scent of the falling
roses, and Madelon, in her dark dress, kneeling by the grave.
Her task was soon accomplished, but she knelt on motionless.
Who shall say of what she was thinking? Something perhaps of
the real meaning of life, of its great underlying sadness,
ennobled by patient suffering, by unselfish devotion, for
presently she turned round to Graham.
"Oh, Horace," she said, "help me to be good; I am not, you
know, but I would like to be——and you will help me."
"My little Madelon!" he raised her up, he took her in his
arms. "We will both try to be good, with God's help. The world
is all before us, to work in, and do our best—we will do what
we can; with God's help, I say, we will do what we can."
They drove swiftly back towards Liege; the air blew freshly in
their faces, the sunset colours faded, the stars came out one
by one. As they vanish from our sight, they seem to fade into
the mysterious twilight land. For them, as for us, other suns
will rise, other days will dawn, but we shall have no part in
them; between them and us falls the darkness of eternal
separation.