Once upon a time, many years before this
story begins, a certain lady said, and indeed
swore with an oath, that Lord Mapledurham
had promised to marry her, and claimed ten
thousand pounds as damages for the breach
of that promise. Lord Mapledurham said his
memory was treacherous about such things,
and he never contradicted a lady on a question
of fact: but the amount which his society
was worth seemed fairly open to difference
of opinion, and he asked a jury of his
countrymen to value it. This cause célèbre,
for such it was in its day, did not improve
Lord Mapledurham’s reputation, but, on the
other hand, it made Mr. Blodwell’s. That
gentleman reduced the damages to one
thousand, and Lord Mapledurham said that
his cross-examination of the plaintiff was
quite worth the money. Since then, the
two had been friends, and Mr. Blodwell
prided himself greatly on his intimacy with
such an exclusive person as the Marquis.
George enjoyed his surprise at the announcement
that they would meet that evening at
the dinner-party.
“Why the dickens does he ask you?”
“Upon my honour, I don’t know.”
“It will destroy the last of your reputation.”
“Oh, not if you are there, sir.”
When George arrived at Lord Mapledurham’s,
he found nobody except his host
and Mr. Blodwell.
“I must apologize for having nobody to
meet you, Mr. Neston, except an old friend.
I asked young Vane—whose insolence amuses
me,—and Fitzderham, but they couldn’t
come.”
“Three’s a good number,” said Mr. Blodwell.
“If they’re three men. But two men and
a woman, or two women and a man—awful!”
“Well, we are men, though George is a
young one.”
“I don’t feel very young,” said George,
smiling, as they sat down.
“I am fifty-five,” said the Marquis, “and I
feel younger every day,—not in body, you
know, for I’m chockful of ailments; but in
mind. I am growing out of all the responsibilities
of this world.”
“And of the next?” asked Blodwell.
“In the next everything is arranged for
us, pleasantly or otherwise. As to this one,
no one expects anything more of me—no
work, no good deeds, no career, no nothing.
It’s a delicious freedom.”
“You never felt your bonds much.”
“No; but they were there, and every now
and then they dragged on my feet.”
“Your view of old age is comforting,”
said George.
“Only, George, if you want to realize it,
you must not marry,” said Mr. Blodwell.
“No, no,” said the Marquis. “By the
way, Blodwell, why did you never marry?”
“Too poor, till too late,” said Mr. Blodwell,
briefly.
The Marquis raised his glass, and seemed
to drink a respectful toast to a dead
romance.
“And you, Lord Mapledurham?” George
ventured to ask.
“Ay, ask him!” said Mr. Blodwell.
“Perhaps his reason will be less sadly
commonplace.”
“I don’t know,” said the Marquis, pondering.
“Some of them expected it, and that
disgusted me. And some of them didn’t,
and that disgusted me too.”
“You put the other sex into rather a
difficult position,” remarked George, laughing.
“Nothing to what they’ve put me into.
Eh, Blodwell?”
“Now, tell me, Mapledurham,” said Mr.
Blodwell, who was in a serious mood to-night.
“On the whole, have you enjoyed your
life?”
“I have wasted opportunities, talents,
substance—everything: and enjoyed it confoundedly.
I am no use even as a
warning.”
“Ask a parson,” said Mr. Blodwell,
dryly.
“I remember,” the Marquis went on,
dreamily, “an old ruffian—another old ruffian—saying
just the same sort of thing one
night. I was at Liverpool for the Cup. Well,
in the evening, I got tired of the other fellows,
and went out for a turn; and down a back
street, I found an old chap sitting on a
doorstep,—a dirty old fellow, but uncommonly
picturesque, with a long grey beard. As I
came by, he was just trying to get up, but he
staggered and fell back again.”
“Drunk?” asked Mr. Blodwell.
The Marquis nodded. “I gave him a
hand, and asked if I could do anything for
him. ‘Yes, give me a drink,’ says he. I
told him he was drunk already, but he said
that made no odds, so I helped him to the
nearest gin-palace.”
“Behold this cynic’s unacknowledged
kindnesses!” said Mr. Blodwell.
“Sat him down in a chair, and gave him
liquor.
“‘Do you enjoy getting drunk?’ I asked
him, just as you asked me if I had enjoyed
life.
“His drink didn’t interfere with his tongue,
it only seemed to take him in the legs. He
put down his glass, and made me a little
speech.
“‘Liquor,’ says he, ‘has been my curse;
it’s broken up my home, spoilt my work,
destroyed my character, sent me and mine
to gaol and shame. God bless liquor!
say I.’
“I told him he was an old beast, much as
you, Blodwell, told me I was, in a politer way.
He only grinned, and said, ‘If you’re a gentleman,
you’ll see me home. Lying in the
gutter costs five shillings, next morning,
and I haven’t got it.’
“‘All right,’ said I; and after another
glass we started out. He knew the way,
and led me through a lot of filthy places to
one of the meanest dens I ever saw. A red-faced,
red-armed, red-voiced (you know what
I mean) woman opened the door, and let fly a
cloud of Billingsgate at him. The old chap
treated her with lofty courtesy.
“‘Quite true, Mrs. Bort,’ says he; ‘you’re
always right: I have ruined myself.’
“‘And yer darter!’ shrieked the woman.
“‘And my daughter. And I am drunk
now, and hope to be drunk to-morrow.’
“‘Ah! you old beast!’ said she, just as I
had, shaking her fist.
“He turned round to me, and said, ‘I am
obliged to you, sir. I don’t know your
name.’
“‘You wouldn’t be better off if you did,’
says I. ‘You couldn’t drink it.’
“‘Will you give me a sovereign?’ he
asked. ‘A week’s joy, sir,—a week’s joy and
life.’
“‘Give it me,’ said the woman, ‘then me
and she’ll get something to eat, to keep us
alive.’
“I’m a benevolent man at bottom, Mr.
Neston, as Blodwell remarks. I said,
“‘Here’s a sovereign for you and her’ (I
supposed she meant the daughter) ‘to help in
keeping you alive; and here’s a sovereign
for you, sir, to help in killing you—and the
sooner the better, say I.’
“‘You’re right,’ said he. ‘The liquor’s
beginning to lose its taste. And when that’s
gone, Luke Gale’s gone!’”
“Luke who?” burst from the two
men.
Lord Mapledurham looked up. “What’s
the matter? Gale, I think. I found out
afterwards that the old animal had painted
water-colours—the only thing he had to do
with water.”
“The Lord hath delivered her into your
hand,” said Mr. Blodwell to George.
“Are you drunk too, Blodwell?” asked
the Marquis.
“No; but——”
“What was the woman’s name?” asked
George, taking out a note-book.
“Bort. Going to tell me?”
“Well, if you don’t mind——”
“Not a bit. Tell me later on, if it’s
amusing. There are so precious few amusing
things.”
“You didn’t see the daughter, did you?”
“Oh, of course it’s the daughter! No.”
“Did you ever know a man named Witt?”
“Never; but, Mr. Neston, I have heard of
a Mrs. Witt. Now, Blodwell, either out with
it, or shut up and let’s talk of something
else.”
“The latter, please,” said Mr. Blodwell,
urbanely.
And the Marquis, who had out-grown
the vanity of desiring to know everything,
made no effort to recur to the subject.
Only, as George took his leave, he received
a piece of advice, together with a cordial
invitation to come again.
“Excuse me, Mr. Neston,” said the Marquis.
“I fancy I have given you some
involuntary assistance to-night.”
“I hope so. I shall know in a day or
two.”
“To like to be right, Mr. Neston, is the
last weakness of a wise man; to like to be
thought right is the inveterate prejudice of
fools.”
“That last is a hard saying, my lord,”
said George, with a laugh.
“It really depends mostly on your income,”
answered the Marquis. “Good-night, Mr.
Neston.”
George said good-night, and walked off,
shrugging his shoulders at the thought that
even so acute a man as Lord Mapledurham
seemed unable to appreciate his position.
“They all want me to drop it,” he mused.
“Well, I will, unless——! But to-morrow
I’ll go to Liverpool.”
He was restless and excited. Home and
bed seemed unacceptable, and he turned into
the Themis Club, whence the machinations of
the enemy had not yet ejected him. There,
extended on a sofa and smoking a cigar, he
found Sidmouth Vane.
“Why didn’t you come to Lord Mapledurham’s,
Vane?” asked George.
“Oh, have you been there? I was dining
with my chief. I didn’t know you knew
Mapledurham.”
“I met him yesterday for the first time.”
“He’s a queer old sinner,” said Vane.
“But have you heard the news?”
“No. Is there any?”
“Tommy Myles has got engaged.”
George started. He had a presentiment
of the name of the lady.
“Pull yourself together, my dear boy,”
continued Vane. “Bear it like a man.”
“Don’t be an ass, Vane. I suppose it’s
Miss Bourne?”
Vane nodded. “It would really be amusing,”
he said, “if you’d tell me honestly how
you feel. But, of course, you won’t. You’ve
begun already to look as if you’d never heard
of Miss Bourne.”
“Bosh!” said George.
“Now, I always wonder why fellows do
that. When I’ve been refused by a girl,
and——”
“I beg your pardon,” said George. “I
haven’t been refused by Miss Bourne.”
“Well, you would have been, you know.
It comes to the same thing.”
George laughed. “I dare say I should;
but I never meant to expose myself to such
a fate.”
“George, my friend, do you think you’re
speaking the truth?”
“I am speaking the truth.”
“Not a bit of it,” responded Vane, calmly.
“A couple of months ago you meant to ask
her; and, what’s more, she’d have had
you.”
George was dimly conscious that this might
be so.
“It isn’t my moral,” Vane went on.
“Your moral?”
“No. I took it from the Bull’s-eye.”
George groaned.
“They announce the marriage to-night,
and add that they have reason to believe
that the engagement has come about largely
through the joint interest of the parties in
l’affaire Neston.”
“I should say they are unusually accurate.”
“Meaning thereby, to those who have
eyes, that she’s jilted you because of your
goings-on, and taken up with Tommy. In
consequence, you are to-night ‘pointing a
moral and adorning a tale.’”
“The devil!”
“Yes, not very soothing, is it? But so it
is. I looked in at Mrs. Pocklington’s, and
they were all talking about it.”
“The Pocklingtons were?”
“Yes. And they asked me——”
“Who asked you?”
“Oh, Violet Fitzderham and Laura
Pocklington,—if it was the fact that you
were in love with Miss Bourne.”
“And what did you say?”
“I said it was matter of notoriety.”
“Confound your gossip! There’s not a
word of truth in it.”
“I didn’t say there was. I said it was a
matter of notoriety. So it was.”
“And did they believe it?”
“Did who believe it?” asked Vane, smiling
slightly.
“Oh, Miss Pocklington, and—and the
other girl.”
“Yes, Miss Pocklington and the other
girl, I think, believed it.”
“What did they say?”
“The other girl said it served you right.”
“And——?”
“And Miss Pocklington said it was time
for some music.”
“Upon my soul, it’s too bad!”
“My dear fellow, you know you were in
love with her—in your fishlike kind of way.
Only you’ve forgotten it. One does forget
it when——”
“Well?” asked George.
“When one’s in love with another girl.
Ah, George, you can’t escape my eagle eye!
I saw your game, and I did you a kindness.”
George thought it no use trying to keep
his secret. “That’s your idea of a kindness,
is it?”
“Certainly. I’ve made her jealous.”
“Really,” said George, haughtily, “I think
this discussion of ladies’ feelings is hardly in
good taste.”
“Quite right, old man,” answered Vane,
imperturbably. “It’s lucky that didn’t strike
you before you’d heard all you wanted to.”
“I say, Vane,” said George, leaning forward,
“did she seem——”
“Miss Pocklington, or the other girl?”
“Oh, damn the other girl! Did she,
Vane, old boy?”
“Yes, she did, a little, George, old boy.”
“I’m a fool,” said George.
“Oh, I don’t know,” said Vane, tolerantly.
“I’m always a fool myself about these
things.”
“I must go and see them to-morrow. No,
I can’t go to-morrow; I have to go out of
town.”
“Ah! where?”
“Liverpool, on business.”
“Liverpool, on business! Dear me! I’ll
tell you another odd thing, George,—a
coincidence.”
“Well?”
“You’re going to Liverpool to-morrow on
business. Well, to-day, Mrs. Witt went to
Liverpool on business.”
“The devil!” said George, for the second
time.