Mr. Punch's After-Dinner Stories

About this eBook

Editor

Hammerton, J. A. (John Alexander), 1871-1949

Credits

Produced by Neville Allen, Chris Curnow and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images generously made available by The Internet Archive)

Language

English

LoC Class

PN: Language and Literatures: Literature: General, Criticism, Collections

Subject

Dinners and dining -- Humor

Category

Text

eBook-No.

33824

Project Gutenberg

https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/33824

Release Date

October 1, 2010

Copyright

Public domain in the USA.

Contents

1. 1.TRANSCRIBER'S NOTE. — PUNCH LIBRARY OF HUMOUR — MR. PUNCH'S AFTER-DINNER STORIES — MR. PUNCH'S AFTER-DINNER STORIES — WITH 155 ILLUSTRATIONS — BY — THE PROPRIETORS OF "PUNCH" — THE EDUCATIONAL BOOK CO. LTD. — The Punch Library of Humour
2. 2.POST-PRANDIAL WIT
3. 3.MR. PUNCH'S AFTER-DINNER STORIES
4. 4.RICE AND PRUNES — Never Speak in a Hurry — "WHO PAYS THE PIPER CALLS THE TUNE" — EFFECT OF GOOD CHEER ON OPPOSITE TEMPERAMENTS — At the Celestial Restaurant
5. 5.THE VERB TO DINE — Present Tense — Imperfect Tense — Future Tense — Perfect Tense — Subjunctive Present — Subjunctive Imperfect — Imperative — Infinitive — DISCUSSING AN ABSENT FRIEND — "IN CONFIDENCE"
6. 6.SPECIMENS OF MR. PUNCH'S SIGNATURES! — A SALVE FOR THE CONSCIENCE — FELICITOUS QUOTATION — PRICE FOR AGE — FLUNKEIANA — CONCLUSIVE
7. 7.RAMBLING RONDEAUX — Sufficient Excuse — CANDID! — Guests to be Avoided — Sectarian — "TO PUT IT BROADLY" — THINGS ONE WOULD RATHER HAVE LEFT UNSAID — A DILEMMA — THINGS ONE WOULD RATHER HAVE LEFT UNSAID — THE RULING PASSION STRONG AT DINNER
8. 8.CAUSE AND EFFECT
9. 9.A LITTLE DINNER OF THE FUTURE — A BIG ORDER — THINGS ONE WOULD RATHER HAVE EXPRESSED OTHERWISE
10. 10.PROVERBS FOR BALL AND DINNER GIVERS
11. 11.THE SIGH OF THE SEASON
12. 12.DINNER PLATITUDES
13. 13.ODE TO A DINNER-GONG — A PIOUS FRAUD! — IN THE DAYS OF THE CRINOLINE—DINING UNDER DIFFICULTIES — INNOCENTS IN THE CITY
14. 14.DINNERS AND DINERS — II. — The Business of Pleasure — SYMPATHETIC — TRIUMPHS OF THE FUNNY MAN — OVERHEARD AT A CITY RESTAURANT — IRRESISTIBLE — SONGS AND THEIR SINGERS — SONGS AND THEIR SINGERS — SONGS AND THEIR SINGERS — SONGS AND THEIR SINGERS — SONGS AND THEIR SINGERS — SONGS AND THEIR SINGERS — SONGS AND THEIR SINGERS
15. 15.AFTER-DINNER SPEECHES — SCENE—CHOP-HOUSE — At the Cric-Crac Restaurant — An Oversight! — A REBUKE — CAUTION — A BORN ORATOR (IN THE EAST)
16. 16.THE DINNER CHAIRMAN'S VADE MECUM — REASSURING — BREAKING THE ICE — THE WAY WE LIVE NOW — THE FIRST ASPARAGUS OF THE SEASON — THE GENIAL SEASON
17. 17.A WAITER'S WARNING — THINGS ONE WOULD RATHER HAVE LEFT UNSAID — THINGS ONE WOULD RATHER HAVE LEFT UNSAID — FREAKS OF NATURE — A NEW DISH — ALARMING SYMPTOMS AFTER EATING BOILED BEEF AND GOOSEBERRY PIE — BROWN AND JONES OVER THEIR WINE — HEAVY — HORRIBLE SUSPICION — SELF-EXAMINATION — "MELTING!" — "PLEASE TO REMEMBER THE WAITER"
18. 18.DRINKING SCENE OF THE FUTURE — A PERSONAL GRIEVANCE — STUDIES IN ANIMAL LIFE
19. 19.DINING AL FRESCO
20. 20.THE MENU A LA MODE — SMALL SOCIAL AGONIES
21. 21.THE DIRGE OF THE DINER
22. 22.THE ECONOMICS OF SMOKING — BY JOSEPH FUME.
23. 23.PROVERBS FOR TABLE — THINGS ONE WOULD RATHER HAVE LEFT UNSAID
24. 24.SPRING-CLEANING. — GRAND BURNS' FESTIVAL—BROWN ENTERTAINS HIS FRIEND WI' A HAGGIS! — DISCLAIMER BY A DINER-OUT — Sympathy — "CRAMMING" — SEASONABLE LUXURY — COMING OUT AS A CONVERSATIONALIST — AN AFFECTIONATE HUSBAND — AN AWFUL CRAMMER — THE BETTING EVIL. — NOT VERY LIKELY — FIGURATIVE — BEWILDERING — "ON THE FACE OF IT" — "ALL THE DIFFERENCE" — THE NICE LITTLE DINNER — TOO LITERAL BY HALF — SAFEST WAY OF TAKING A LADY DOWN TO DINNER — SAT UPON — IN DESPERATE STRAITS — THINGS ONE WOULD RATHER HAVE LEFT UNSAID — "NOT QUITE THE CHEESE!" — THE END

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