“Beatrice, I believe my words are coming
true, after all. I begin to think you are
getting tired of Trevlyn already.”
It was Monica who spoke thus. She
had surprised Beatrice alone in the boudoir
at dusk one afternoon, sitting in an
attitude of listless dejection, with the
undoubted brightness of unshed tears in
her eyes.
But the girl looked up quickly, trying
to regain all her usual animation, though
the attempt was not a marked success, and
Monica sat down beside her, and laid one
hand upon hers in a sort of mute caress.
“You are not happy with us, Beatrice,
I see it more and more plainly every day.
You have grown pale since you came here,
and your spirits vary every hour, but they
do not improve, and you are often sad. I
think Trevlyn cannot suit you. I think I
shall have to prescribe change of air and
scene, and a meeting later on in some other
place.”
Monica spoke with a sort of grave
gentleness, that indicated a tenderness she
could not well express more clearly. For
answer, Beatrice suddenly flung herself
on her knees before her hostess, burying
her face in her hands.
“Oh, don’t send me away, Monica!
Don’t send me away! I could not bear it—indeed
I could not! I am miserable—I am
wretched company. I don’t wonder you
are tired of me; but ah! don’t send me
away from you, and from Trevlyn. I
think I shall die if you do. Oh, why is the
world such a hard, cruel place?”
Monica was startled at this sudden outburst,
for since the day following her
arrival Beatrice had showed herself unusually
reserved. She had been distraite,
absorbed, fitful in her moods, but never
once expansive; therefore, this unexpected
impulse towards confidence was the more
surprising.
“Beatrice,” she said gently, “I did not
mean to distress you. You know how
very, very welcome you are to stay with
us. But you are unhappy; you are far
more unhappy than when you came.”
Beatrice shook her head vehemently at
this point, but Monica continued in the
same quiet way. “You are unhappy, you
are restless and miserable. Beatrice,
answer me frankly, would you be happy if
Tom Pendrill were not here? He has
already outstayed his original time, and we
could quite easily get rid of him if his
presence is a trouble to you. We never
stand on ceremony with Tom, and
Randolph could manage it in a moment.”
Beatrice lifted a pale, startled face.
“Tom Pendrill?” she repeated, almost
sharply. “What has he got to do with it?
What makes you bring in his name? What
do you know about—about——?” She
stopped suddenly.
“I know nothing except what I see for
myself—nothing but what your face and
his tell me. It is easy to see that you
have known each other before, and under
rather exceptional circumstances, perhaps.
Do you think it escapes me, that feverish
gaiety of yours whenever he is near—gaiety
that is expended in laughing, chatting,
flirting, perhaps, with the other guests,
but is never by any chance directed to
him? Do you think I do not notice how
quickly that affectation of high spirits
evaporates when he is gone; how many
fits of sad musing follow in its wake?
How is it you two never talk to one
another? never exchange anything beyond
the most frigid commonplaces? It is not
your way to be so distant and so cool,
Beatrice. There must be a reason. Tell
me truly, would you not be happier if Tom
Pendrill were to go back to St. Maws?”
But Beatrice shook her head again, and
heaved a long, shuddering sigh.
“Oh, no, no!” she said. “Don’t send
him away. Nothing really matters now;
nothing can do either good or harm. Let
him stay. I think his heart is made of ice.
He does not care; why should I? It is
nothing but my folly and weakness, only it
brings it all back so bitterly—all my pride,
and self-will, and stubbornness. Well, I
have suffered for it now.”
It was plain that a confession was
hovering on Beatrice’s lips; that she was
anxious at last to unburden herself of her
secret. Monica helped her by asking a
direct question.
“Were you engaged to him once?”
“No—no! not quite. I had not got
quite so far as that. I might have
been. He asked me to be his wife, and I—I——”
She paused, and then went on
more coherently.
“I will tell you all about it. It was
years ago, when I was barely eighteen—a
gay, giddy girl, just ‘out,’ full of fun, very
wild and saucy, and thoroughly spoiled by
persistent petting and indulgence. I was
the only daughter of the house, and
believed that Lady Beatrice Wentworth
was a being of vast importance. Well, I
suppose people spoiled us because we were
orphans. We were all more or less spoiled,
and I think it was the ruin of my eldest
brother. He was at Oxford at the time I
am speaking of; and I was taken to Commemoration
by some gay friends of
ours, who had brothers and sons at
Oxford.
“It was there I met Tom Pendrill. He
was the ‘chum’ of one of the undergraduate
sons of my chaperon, and he was
a great man just then. He had distinguished
himself tremendously in the
schools, I know—had taken a double-first,
or something, and other things beside. He
was quite a lion in his own set, and I heard
an immense deal in his praise, and was
tremendously impressed, quite convinced
that there was not such another man in the
world. He was almost always in our
party, and he took a great deal of notice of
me. He gave us breakfast in his rooms,
and I sat next him, and helped to do the
honours of the table. You can’t think how
proud I was at being singled out by him,
how delighted I was to walk by his side,
listening to his words of wisdom, how
elevated I often felt, how taken out of
myself into quite a new world of thought
and feeling.”
Beatrice paused. A smile—half sad,
half bitter—played for a moment over her
face; then she took up the thread of her
narrative.
“I need not go into the subject of my
feelings. I was very young, and all the
glamour of youth and inexperience was
upon me. I had never, in all my life,
come across a man in the least like him—so
clever, so witty, so cultured, and withal with
so strong a personality. He was not silent
and cynical, as he is now, but full of life
and sparkle, of brilliance and humour. I
was dazzled and captivated. I believed
there had never been such a man in
the world before. He was my ideal, my
hero; and he seemed to court me, which
was the most wonderful thing of all.
“You know what young girls are like?
No, perhaps you don’t, and I will avoid
generalities, and speak only of myself.
Just because he captivated me so much—my
fancy, my intellect, my heart—just
because I began to feel his power growing
so strongly upon me, I grew shy,
frightened, restive. I was very wilful and
capricious. I wanted him to admire me,
and I was proud that he seemed to do so;
but I did not in the least want to acknowledge
his power over me. I was
frightened at it. I tried to ignore it—to
keep it off.
“So, in a kind of foolish defiance and
mistrust of myself, I began flirting
tremendously with a silly young marquis,
whom I heartily despised and disliked. I
only favoured him when Tom Pendrill was
present, for I wanted to make him jealous,
and to feel my power over him. Coquetry
is born in some women, I believe; I am
sure it was born in me. I did not mean
any harm. I never cared a bit for the
creature. I cared for no one but the man
I affected now to be tired of. But rumours
got about. I suppose it would have been
a very good match for me. People said I
was going to marry the cub, and I only
laughed when I heard the report. I was
young, vain, and foolish enough to feel
rather flattered than otherwise.”
She paused a moment, with another of
those bitter-sweet smiles, and went on very
quietly:
“Why are girls so badly brought up?
I was not bad at heart; but I was vain and
frivolous. I loved to inflict pain of a kind
upon others, till I played once too often
with edge-tools, and have suffered for it
ever since. Of course, Tom Pendrill heard
these reports, and, of course, they angered
him deeply; for I had given him every
encouragement. He did not know the
complex workings of a woman’s heart, her
wild struggles for supremacy before she can
be content to yield herself up for ever a
willing sacrifice. He did not understand;
how should he? I did not either till it was
too late.
“I saw him once more alone. We were
walking by the river one moonlight night.
He was unlike himself—silent, moody,
imperious. All of a sudden it burst out.
He asked me almost fiercely if I would be
his wife—he almost claimed my promise as
his right—said that I owed him that
reparation for destroying his peace of
mind. How my heart leapt as I heard
those words. A torrent of love seemed to
surge over me. I was terrified at the
depth of feeling he had stirred up.
I struggled with a sort of fury against
being carried away by it, against betraying
myself too unreservedly. I don’t remember
what I said; I was terribly agitated. I
believe in my confusion and bewilderment
I said something disgusting about my rank
and his—the difference between us. Then
he cast that odious marquis in my teeth,
supposed that the report he had heard was
true, that I was going to sell myself for the
reversion of a ducal coronet, since I
thought so much of rank. I was furious;
all the more furious because I had brought
it on myself, though, had he but known it,
it was ungenerous to take me at a disadvantage,
and cast my words back at me
like that—words spoken without the least
consideration or intention. But, right or
wrong, he did it, and I answered back with
more vehemence than before. I don’t
know what I said, but it was enough for
him, at any rate. He turned upon me—I
think he almost cursed me—not in words,
but in the cruel scorn expressed in his face
and in his voice. Ah! it hurts me even
now. Then he left me without another
word, without a sign or sound of farewell—left
me standing alone by that river. I
never saw him again till we met in your
drawing-room that night.”
Beatrice paused; Monica had taken her
hand in token of sympathy, but she did
not speak.
“Of course, at first I thought he would
come back. I never dreamed he would
believe I had really led him on, only
to reject him with contempt, when once he
dared to speak his heart to me. We had
quarrelled; and I was very miserable,
knowing how foolish I had been; but I
never, never believed for a moment that he
would take that quarrel as final.
“Two wretched days of suspense followed.
Then I heard that he had left Oxford
the morning after our interview by the
river, and I knew that all was over between
us. That is the story of my life, Monica;
it does not sound much to tell, but it means
a good deal to me. I have never loved
anyone else—I do not think I ever shall.”
Monica was silent.
“Neither has he.”
Beatrice’s eyes were full of a sort of
wistful sadness and tender regret; but she
only kissed Monica very quietly, and stole
silently from the room.
CHAPTER THE TWENTY-FOURTH. STORM.
“Ah, Randolph! I am glad you are in. It
is going to be such a rough night!”
Monica was sitting by the fire in her own
room, waiting for her husband to join her
there, as he always did immediately upon
coming in from his day’s sport. They had
one or two more guests at Trevlyn now—men,
friends of Randolph’s in days past; but
nothing ever hindered him from devoting
this one hour before dinner to his wife. It
was to Monica the happiest hour of the day.
“I am so glad to have you safe back.
Are you not very wet?”
“No; I was well protected from the
rain; but it has been a disagreeable sort
of day. The other fellows were carried off
to dine at Hartland’s. We came across
their party just outside the park, and he
begged us all to accept his hospitality for
the night, as the weather was getting so
bad. Haddon and I came home to tell
you, but the rest accepted the invitation.
We shall be quite a small party to-night.”
Monica looked up with a smile.
“I think I am glad of that, Randolph.”
He sat down and put his arm about her.
“Tired of our guests already, Monica?”
“I don’t know—I like to have your
friends, and to help to make them enjoy
themselves; but I don’t think there is any
such happiness as having you all to
myself.”
He held her closer to him, and looked
with a proud fond smile into her face.
“You feel that too, Monica?”
“Ah, yes! How could I help it?”
He fancied she spoke sadly, and would
know why.
“I think I have been sad all day,” she
answered; “I am often sad before a storm,
when I hear the wind moaning round the
house. It makes me think of the brave
men at sea, and their wives waiting for
them at home.”
There was a little quiver in her voice as
she spoke the last words. Randolph heard
it, and held her very close to him.
“It is not such a very bad night,
Monica.”
“No; but it makes me think. When
you are away, I cannot help feeling sad,
often. Ah, my husband! how can I tell
you all that you have been to me these
happy, happy months?”
“My sweet wife!” he murmured, softly.
“And other wives love their husbands,”
she went on in the same dreamy way, “and
they see them go away over the dark sea,
never to come back any more,” and she
shivered.
“Let us go to the music-room, Monica,”
said Randolph. “You shall play the hymn
for those at sea.”
He knew the power of music to soothe
her, when these strange moods of sadness
and fear came upon her. They went to
the organ together, and before half-an-hour
had passed Monica was her own calm,
serene self again.
“Monica,” said Randolph, “can you sing
something to me now—now that we are
quite alone together? Do you remember
that little sad, sweet song you sang the
night before I went away to Scotland?
Will you sing it to me now? I have so
often wanted to hear it again.”
Monica gave him one quick glance, and
struck the preliminary chords softly and
dreamily.
Wonderfully rich and sweet her voice
sounded; but low-toned and deep, with a
subtle searching sweetness that spoke
straight to the heart:
“‘And if thou wilt, remember—
And if thou wilt, forget.’”
There was the least little quiver in her
voice as it died into silence. Randolph
bent over her and kissed her on the lips.
“Thank you,” he said. “It is a haunting
little song in its sad sweetness. Somehow,
it seems like you, Monica.”
But she made no answer, for at that
moment a sound reached their ears that
made them both start, listening intently.
Monica’s face grew white to the lips.
The sound was repeated with greater
distinctness.
“A gun!” said Randolph.
“A ship in distress!” whispered Monica.
A ship in distress upon that cruel, iron-bound
coast—a pitch-dark night and a
rising gale!
Randolph looked grave and resolute.
“We must see what can be done,” he
said.
Monica’s face was very pale, but as
resolute as her husband’s.
“I will go with you!” she said.
He glanced at, her, but he did not say
her nay.
In the hall servants were gathering in
visible excitement. Lord Haddon was
there, and Beatrice. The distressing
signals from the doomed vessel were
urging their imperative message upon every
heart. Faces were flushed with excitement.
Every eye was turned upon the
master of the house.
“Haddon,” he said, “there is not a man
on the place that can ride like you, and
you know every inch of the country by
this time. Will you do this?—take the
fastest, surest horse in the stable, and
gallop to the nearest life-boat station.
You know where it is?—Good! Give the
alarm there, and get all in readiness. If
the ship is past our help, and drifts with
the wind, they may be able to save her
crew still.”
Haddon stayed to ask no more. He
was off for the stables almost before the
words had left Randolph’s lips.
Monica was wrapping herself up in her
warm ulster; Beatrice followed her example;
the one was flushed, the other
pale, but both were bent on the same
object—they must go down to the shore
to see what was done. They could not
rest with the sound of those terrible guns
ringing in their ears.
The night was pitchy black, the sky was
obscured by a thick bank of cloud. The
wind blew fierce and strong, what sailors
would call “half a gale.” It was a wild,
“dirty” night, but not nearly so bad a
one as they often knew upon that coast.
The lanterns lighted them down the steep
cliff-path, every foot of which, however,
was well known to Monica. She kept
close beside her husband. He gave her his
hand over every difficult piece of the road,
Beatrice followed a little more slowly.
At last they all stood together upon the
rocky floor of the bay.
Monica looked out to sea. She was
the first to realise what had happened.
“She has struck on the reef!” she said.
“She does not drift. She has struck!”
“And in such a sea she will be dashed
to pieces in a very short time,” said Randolph,
as another signal flashed out from
the doomed vessel.
Other lights were moving about the
shore. It was plain that the whole population
of the little hamlet had gathered at
the water’s edge. Through the gusts of
rain they could see indistinctly moving
figures; they could catch as a faint
murmur the loud, eager tones of their
voices.
“Stay here, Monica,” said Randolph,
“under the shelter of this rock. I must
go and see what is being done. Wait
here for me.”
She had held fast by his arm till now!
but she loosed his clasp as she heard these
words.
“You will come back?” she said, striving
to speak calmly and steadily.
“Yes, as soon as I can. I must see
what can be done. There seems to be a
boat. I must go and see if it cannot be
launched. The sea in the bay is not so
very wild.”
Randolph was gone already. Beatrice
and Monica were left standing in the lee of
a projection of the cliff. They thought
they were quite alone. They did not see
a crouching figure not many paces away,
squeezed into a dark fissure of the rock.
The night was too obscure to see anything,
save where the flashing lights illumined the
gloom. Even the wild beast glitter of a
pair of fierce eyes watching intently passed
unseen and unheeded.
Monica looked out to sea with a strange
fixed yearning in her dark eyes. She was
looking towards the vessel, struck fast
upon the very rock where she had once
stood face to face with death. How well
she remembered that moment and the
strange calmness that possessed her! She
never realised the peril she was in—it had
seemed a small thing to her then whether
she lived or died. She recalled her feelings
so well—was she really the same
Monica who had stood so calmly there
whilst the waves leaped up as if to devour
her? Where was her old, calm indifference
now?—that strange courage prompted
by the want of natural love for life?
A sense of revelation swept over Monica
at that moment. She had never really
feared, because she had never truly loved.
It was not death even now that she
dreaded for herself, or for her husband,
but separation. Danger, even to death,
shared with him, would be almost welcome:
but to think of his facing danger alone—that
was too terrible. She pressed her
hands closely together. It seemed as if
her very soul cried to Heaven to keep
away this dire necessity. Why she suspected
its existence she could not have
explained, but the shadow that had hung
upon her all day seemed wrapping itself
about her like a cloud.
“Monica, how you tremble!” said
Beatrice. “Are you cold? Are you
afraid?”
She was trembling herself, but it was
with excitement and impatience.
Monica did not answer, and Beatrice
moved a little away. She was too restless
to stand still.
Monica did not miss her. A storm was
sweeping over her soul—one of those
storms that only perhaps come once in a
life-time, and that leave indelible traces
behind them. It seemed to her as if all
her life long she had been waiting for this
hour—as if everything in her past life had
been but leading up to it.
Had she not known from her earliest
childhood that some day this beautiful,
terrible, pitiless sea was to do her some
deadly injury—to wreck her life and leave
her desolate? Ay she had known it
always—and now—had the hour come?
Not in articulate words did Monica ask
this question. It came as a sort of voiceless
cry from the depths of her heart. She
did not think, she did not reason—she only
stood quite still, her hands closely clasped,
her white face turned towards the sea, with
a mute, stricken look of pain that yet expressed
but a tithe of the bitter pain at her
heart.
But during those few minutes, that
seemed a life-time to her, the battle had
been fought out and the victory won.
The old calmness had come back to her.
She had not faced this hour all her life to
be a coward now.
She was a Trevlyn—and when had a
Trevlyn ever been known to shrink or falter
before a call of duty?
Beatrice rushed back with the greatest
excitement of manner.
“They have a boat, but nearly all the
men are away—the strong men who could
man it easily. There are a few strong
lads, who are willing and eager to go, and
two fishermen; but there are only six in
all, and they don’t know if it is enough.
Oh, dear! oh, dear! And those poor
people in the ship! Must they all be
drowned?”
“I think not,” answered Monica, quietly.
“I think some means will be found to
save them. Where is Randolph?”
Randolph was beside her next moment.
“Ah, if only I were a man,” Beatrice
was saying, excitedly. “Ah! why are
women so useless, so helpless? To think
of them drowning within sight of land—and
they say the sea does not run so very
high. Oh, what will they do? They
cannot let them drown! Randolph, can
nothing be done?”
“Yes, something can be done,” he answered
steadily and cheerfully. “The boat
is being run down. It will not be difficult
or dangerous to launch her in shelter of the
cliff. There are six men to man it—all
they want is a coxswain. Monica,” he
added, turning to her, and taking both her
hands in his strong clasp, “you have
taught me to navigate the Bay of Trevlyn
so well, that I am equal to take that task
upon myself. There are lives to be saved—the
danger to the rescuing party is small,
they say so, and I believe they speak the
truth. Will you let me go?”
She looked up to him with a mute entreaty
in her eyes.
“There are lives to be saved, my
Monica,” he said, with grave gentleness.
“Are our brothers to go down within
sight of land, without one effort on our
part to save them? Have you not wept
for such scenes before now? Have you no
pity to-night? Monica, in that vessel on
the rocks there are men, perhaps, whose
wives are waiting at home for them, and
praying for their safety. Will you let me
go?”
She spoke at length with manifest effort,
though her manner was quite calm.
“Is there no one else?”
“There is no one else.”
For perhaps ten seconds there was perfect
silence between them.
“Then Randolph, I will let you go.”
He bent his head and kissed her.
“I knew my wife would bid me do my
duty,” he said proudly; “and believe me,
my life, the danger is not great, and
already the wind seems abating. It is
but a small vessel. In all probability one
journey will suffice. We shall not be out
of sight, save for the darkness; we shall
be under the lee of the cliff for the best
part of the way. The boat is sound,
the men know their work. We shall
soon be back in safety, please God,
and then you will be glad that you let
me go.”
She lifted her head and looked at him.
“Take me with you, Randolph.”
“My darling, I cannot. It would not
be right. We must not load the boat needlessly,
even were there no other reason.
Your presence there would take away
half my courage, and perhaps it might
necessitate leaving behind some poor fellow
who otherwise might be saved.”
Monica said no more. She knew that he
spoke the truth.
Her white, still face with its stricken
look, went to his heart. He knew how
strangely nervous she was on wild, windy
nights. He knew it would be hard for her
to let him go, but she had shown herself
his brave, true Monica, as he knew she
would do, and now the kindest thing he
could do was to shorten the parting, and
return to her as quickly as his errand
would allow him.
He held her a moment in his strong
arms.
“Good-bye, my Monica, my own sweet
wife. Keep up a brave heart. Kiss me
once and let me go. Whatever happens,
we are in God’s hands. Remember that
always.”
She lifted her pale face, there was
something strangely pathetic in its haunting
beauty.
“Let me see you smile before I go. Tell
me again that you bid me do my duty.”
Suddenly the old serenity and peace
came back to the upturned face. The
smile he asked for shone in her sweet eyes.
“Good-bye, my Randolph—my husband—good-bye.
Yes, I do bid you do your
duty. May God bless and keep you
always.”
For a moment they stood together, heart
pressed to heart, their lips meeting in one
long, lingering kiss; for one moment a
strange shadow as of farewell seemed to
hang upon them, and they clung together
as if no power on earth could separate
them.
The next moment he was gone, and
Monica, left alone, stretched out her hands
in the darkness.
“Oh, my love! my love!”
It was the one irrepressible cry from
the depths of her heart; the next moment
she repeated dreamily to herself the words
that had lately passed her husband’s lips:
“‘Whatever happens, we are in God’s
hands. Remember that always.’ Randolph,
I will! I will!”
A ringing cheer told her that the boat
was off. Nobody had seen the slim figure
that had slunk after Randolph down to the
beach. No one, in the darkness and
general excitement, had seen that same slim
figure leap lightly and noiselessly into the
boat, and crouch down in the extreme end
of the bow.
Conrad Fitzgerald had witnessed the
parting between husband and wife; he had
heard every word that had passed between
them; and now, as he crouched with a
tiger-like ferocity in the bottom of the boat,
he muttered:
“This time he shall not escape me!”
CHAPTER THE TWENTY-FIFTH. WIDOWED.
The boat launched by the rescuing party
vanished in the darkness. Monica stood
where her husband had left her in the
shelter of the cliff, her pale face turned
seawards, her eyes fixed upon the glimmering
crests of the great waves, as they came
rolling calmly in, in their resistless might
and majesty.
Beatrice had twice come back to her, to
assure her with eager vehemence that the
danger was very slight, that it was lessening
every moment as the wind shifted and
abated in force—dangerous, indeed, for the
poor fellows in the doomed vessel that had
struck upon the fatal reef, but not very
perilous for the willing and eager and
experienced crew that had started off to
rescue them. Beatrice urged this many
times upon Monica; but the latter stood
quite still and spoke not a word; only gazed
out to sea with the same strange yearning
gaze that was like a mute farewell.
Was it only an hour ago that she had
been with her husband at home, telling him
of the dim foreboding of coming woe that
had haunted her all that day? It seemed
to her as if she had all her life been standing
beside the dark margin of this tempest-tossed
sea, waiting the return of him who
made all the happiness of her life—and
waiting in vain.
Beatrice looked at her once or twice, but
did not speak again. Presently she moved
down towards the water’s edge. Surely the
boat would be coming back now!
Suddenly there was a glad shout of
triumph and joy from the fisher-folk, down
by the brink of the sea.
“Here she is!” “Here she comes!”
“Steady, there!” “Ease her a bit!”
“This way now!” “Be ready, lads!”
“Here she comes!” “Now, then, all
together!” “After this wave—NOW!”
Cries, shouts, an eager confusion of
tongues—the grating of a boat’s keel upon
the beach, and then a ringing hearty cheer.
“All safe?”
“All saved—five of them and a lad.”
“Just in time only.” “She wouldn’t have
floated five minutes longer.” “She was
going down like lead.”
What noise and confusion there was—people
crowding round, flitting figures
passing to and fro in the obscurity, every
one talking, all speaking together—such a
hubbub as Beatrice had never witnessed
before. She stood in glad, impatient
expectancy on the outskirts of the little
crowd. Why did not Randolph come away
from them to Monica? Why did she not
hear his voice with the rest? Her heart
gave a sudden throb as of terror.
“Where is Lord Trevlyn?”
Her voice, sharpened by the sudden fear
that had seized her, was heard through all
the eager clamour of those who stood round.
A gleam of moonlight, struggling through
the clouds, lighted up the group for a
moment. The words went round like wildfire:
“Where is Lord Trevlyn?” and men
looked each other in the face, growing pale
with conscious bewilderment. Where, indeed,
was Lord Trevlyn? He was certainly
not amongst them; yet he had
undoubtedly steered the boat to shore.
Where was he now? Men talked in loud,
rapid tones. Women ran hither and
thither, wringing their hands in distressful
excitement, hunting for the missing man
with futile eagerness. What had happened?
Where could he be?
Suddenly a deep silence fell upon all;
for in the brightening moonlight they saw
that Monica stood amongst them—pale, calm
and still, as a spirit from another world.
“Tell me,” she said.
The story was told by one and another.
Monica was used to the people and their
ways. She gathered without difficulty the
substance of the story. The boat had reached,
without over-much difficulty or danger, the
sinking vessel. She was a small coaling ship,
with a crew of seven men and a boy. Two
of the former had already been washed
away, and the vessel was sinking rapidly.
The five survivors were easily rescued; but
the lad was entangled in the rigging, and
was too much exhausted to free himself
and follow. Lord Trevlyn was the first to
realise this, and he sprang out of the boat at
some peril to himself to the lad’s assistance.
Nobody had been able to see in the darkness
what had passed, but all agreed that
the lad had been handed to those in the
boat by a pair of strong arms, and that
after an interval of about three minutes—for
the boat had swung round, and had to
be brought back again, which took a little
time—a man had sprung back into the
boat, had shouted “All right!” had seized
the tiller, and sung out to the crew to
“Give way, and put off!” which they had
done immediately, glad enough to be clear
of the masts of the sinking vessel, which
were in dangerous proximity.
No one had been able in the darkness to
see the face of the steersman; but all agreed
that the voice was “a gentleman’s”; and
most mysterious of all was the fact that the
boat had been steered to shore with a skill
that showed a thorough knowledge of the
coast, and that not a man of those who now
stood round had ever laid a hand upon the
tiller.
A thrill of superstitious awe ran round
as this fact became known, together with
the terrible certainty that Lord Trevlyn
had not returned with them. Was it indeed
a phantom hand that had guided the frail
bark through the wild, tossing waves?
The bravest man there felt a shiver of
awe—the women sobbed, and trembled
unrestrainedly.
The boat was put to sea once more
without a moment’s delay. The wind was
dropping, the tide had turned, and the
danger was well nigh over. But heads
were shaken in mute despair, and old
men shook their heads at the bare idea
of the survival of any swimmer, who had
been left to battle with the waves round
the sunken reef on a stormy winter’s
night.
Monica stood like a statue; she heeded
neither the wailing of the women, the
murmurs of sympathy from the men, nor
the clasp of Beatrice’s hand round her
cold fingers. She saw nothing, heard
nothing, save the tossing, the moaning of
the pitiless sea.
The boat came back at last—came back
in dead, mournful silence. That silence
said all that was needed.
Monica stepped towards the weary,
dejected men, who had just left the boat
for the second time.
“You have done all that you could,”
she said gently. “I thank you from my
heart.”
And then she turned quietly away to
go home—alone.
No one dared follow her too closely;
even Beatrice kept some distance behind,
sick with misery and sympathetic despair.
Monica’s step did not falter. She went
back to the spot where her husband had
left her, and stood still, looking out over
the sea.
“Good-bye, my love—my own dear
love,” she said, very softly and calmly.
“It has come at last, as I knew it would,
when he held me in his arms for the last
time on earth. Did he know it, too? I
think he did just at the last. I saw it in
his brave, tender face as he gave me that
last kiss. But he died doing his duty. I
will bear it for his sake.” Yet with an
irrepressible gesture of anguish she held
out her arms in the darkness, crying out,
not loud, indeed, but from the very depth
of her broken heart, “Ah, Randolph!—husband—my
love! my love!”
That was all; that one passionate cry of
sorrow. After it calmness returned to her
once more. She stepped towards Beatrice,
who stood a little way off, and held out her
hand.
“Come, dear,” she said. “We must go
home.”
Beatrice was more agitated than Monica.
She was convulsed with tearless sobs. She
could only just command herself to
stumble uncertainly up the steep cliff path
that Monica trod with ease and freedom.
The moon was shining clearly now. She
could see the gaze that her companion
turned for one moment over the tossing
waste of waters. She caught the softly-whispered
words, “Good-bye, dear love!
good bye!” and a sudden burst of tears
came to her relief; but Monica’s eyes
were dry.
As they entered the castle hall, they saw
that the ill news had preceded them. Pale-faced
servants, both men and women,
stood awed and trembling, waiting, as
it seemed, for their mistress. A sound
as of hushed weeping greeted them as they
entered.
No one ever forgot the look upon
Monica’s face as she entered her desolated
home. It was far more sad in its unutterable
calm than the wildest expression of
grief could have been. Nobody dared to
speak a word, save the old nurse who had
tended Randolph from childhood. She
stepped forward, the tears streaming down
her wrinkled cheeks.
“Oh, my lady! my lady!” she sobbed.
Monica paused, looked for one moment
at the faithful servant; then bent her head,
and kissed her.
“Dear nurse,” she said gently, “you
always loved him;” and then she passed
quietly on to the music-room—the room
that she and her husband had quitted
together less than three hours before, and
shut herself up there—alone.
Beatrice dared not follow. She let
Wilberforce take her upstairs, and tend
her like a child, whilst they mingled their
tears together over the brave young life
cut short in its manhood’s strength and
prime. Randolph’s nurse was no stranger
to Beatrice, and it was easy for the good
woman to speak with authority to one
whom she had known as a child, force her
to take some nourishment, and exchange
wet garments for dry. She could not be
induced to go to bed, exhausted though she
was, but the wine and soup did her good,
and the hearty burst of weeping had
relieved her overcharged heart. She felt
more like herself when, after an hour’s
time, she went downstairs again; but, oh!
what a different house it was from what it
had been a few hours back!
It was by that time eleven o’clock.
Monica was still shut up in the music-room.
Nothing had been heard of Haddon; she
had hardly even given him a thought. She
went down slowly to the hall, and found
herself face to face with Tom Pendrill. He
wore his hat and great coat. He had evidently
just arrived in haste. As he removed
the former she was startled at the
look upon his face. She had not believed
it capable of expressing so much feeling.
“Beatrice,” he said hoarsely, “is it
true?”
He did not know he had called her by
her Christian name, and she hardly noticed
it at the moment. She only bent her head
and answered:
“Yes, it is true.”
Together they passed into the lighted
drawing-room, and stood on either side the
glowing hearth, looking at each other
fixedly.
“Where is Monica?”
“In the music-room, alone. They were
there together when the guns began. It
will kill her, I am certain it will!”
“No,” answered Tom quietly; “she will
not die. It would be happier for her if
she could.”
Beatrice looked at him with quivering lips.
“Oh!” she said at last. “You understand
her?”
“Yes,” he answered absently, looking
away into the fire. “I understand her.
She will not die.”
Both were very silent for a time. Then
he spoke.
“You were there?”
“Yes.”
“Tell me about it.”
“You have not heard?”
“Only the barest outline. Sit down and
tell me all.”
She did not resent his air of authority.
She sat down, and did his bidding. Tom
listened in deep silence, weighing every
word.
He made no comment on the strange
story; but a very dark shadow rested upon
his sharp featured face.
He was a man of keen observation and
acuteness of perception, and his mind often
leaped to a conclusion that no present
premises seemed to justify. Not for a
moment would he have given utterance
to the question that had suggested itself to
his mind; but there it was, repeating
itself again and again with persistent
iteration.
“Can there have been foul play?”
He spoke not a word, his face told no
tales; but he was musing intently. Where
was that half mad fellow, Fitzgerald; who
some months ago had seemed on the high-road
to drink himself to madness or death?
He had not been heard of for some time
past; but Tom could not get the question
out of his mind.
In the deep silence that reigned in the
room every sound could be heard distinctly.
Beatrice suddenly started, for they were
aware that the door of the music-room had
been opened, and that Monica was coming
towards them. The girl turned pale, and
looked almost frightened. Tom stood up
as his hostess appeared, setting his face like
a flint.
The long hour that had seemed like a
life-time to the wife—the widow—how
could they bring themselves to think of her
as such?—had left no outward traces upon
Monica. Her face was calm and still, and
very pale, but it was not convulsed by
grief, and her eyes did not look as though
they had shed tears, although there was no
hardness in their depths. They shone with
something of star-like brightness, at once
soft and brilliant. The sweet serenity that
had long been the habitual expression of
her face seemed intensified rather than
changed.
“Beatrice,” she said quietly, “where is
your brother?”
“I don’t know.”
“Has he not come in?”
“Not that I know of.”
“We must inquire. He has been so
many hours gone. I am uneasy about
him.”
“Oh, never mind about him,” said
Beatrice, quickly. “He will be all right.”
“We must think of him,” she answered.
“Tom, it was good of you to come back.
What brought you? Did you hear?”
“I heard a rumour. Of course I came
back. Is there anything I can do?” He
spoke abruptly, like a man labouring under
some weight of oppression.
“I wish you would go and inquire for
Lord Haddon. Randolph sent him to the
life-boat station, because he believed
he would ride over faster than anybody
else. I think he should be followed
now, if he has not come back. I cannot
think what can have detained him so
long.”
“I will go and make inquiries,” said
Tom.
“Thank you. I should be much obliged
if you would.”
But as it turned out, there was no need
for him to do this. Even as Monica spoke
they became aware of a slight stir in the
hall. Uncertain, rapid steps crossed the
intervening space, and the next moment
Haddon stood before them in the doorway,
white, drenched, dishevelled, exhausted,
leaning as if for support against the
framework, whilst his eyes sought those of
his sister with a strange look of dazed
horror.
“Beatrice!” he cried, in a strained,
unnatural tone. “Say it is not true!”
Monica had stepped forward, anxious
and startled at his appearance. The look
upon her face must have brought conviction
home to Haddon’s heart, and this
terrible conviction completed the work
begun by previous over-fatigue and
exhaustion. He made two uncertain steps
forward, looked round him in a dazed
bewildered way; then putting his hand to
his head with a sudden gesture as of pain,
called out:
“I say, what is it?—Look out!” and
Tom had only just time to spring forward
and guide his fall as he dropped in a dead
faint upon the couch hard by.
“Poor boy!” said Monica gently; “the
shock has been too much for him.”
CHAPTER THE TWENTY-SIXTH. MONICA.
Lord Haddon was carried upstairs by
Tom’s direction, and put to bed at once,
but it was a very long time before he
recovered consciousness, and the doctor’s
face was grave when he rejoined Monica
and Beatrice an hour later.
Afterwards they learned that he had
reached the life-boat station, only to find
the boat out in another direction, that he
had lost his way in the darkness, and had
been riding for hours over trackless moors,
wet through by driving storms of rain,
obliged often to halt, despite the cold and
wet, to wait for passing gleams of moonlight
to show him his way; and this after
a long day’s shooting and a long fast. He
had reached the castle at last, utterly worn
out and exhausted, only to hear the terrible
news of the death of his best friend. The
strain had been too much, and he had
given way.
He awoke to consciousness only in a
high state of fever, with pain in every
joint; and Beatrice, in answer to Tom’s
question, admitted that her brother had
had a sharp attack of rheumatic fever some
three years before, and had always been
rather susceptible to cold and damp ever
since.
Tom looked gravely at Monica.
“I was afraid he was in for something of
that kind.”
“Poor boy!” she said again, very
gently. “I am so sorry. You will stay
with us, Tom? It will be a comfort to
have you.”
“Of course I will stay,” he answered, in
his abruptest fashion. “I shall sit up with
Haddon to-night. You two must go to bed
at once—I insist upon it.”
“Come, Beatrice,” said Monica, holding
out her hand. “We must obey orders you
see.”
As they went together up the broad
staircase, Beatrice said, with a little sob:
“I cannot bear to think of our giving
you all this trouble—just now.”
But Monica stopped her by a kiss.
“Have you not learned by this time
Beatrice, that the greatest help in bearing
our own sorrows is to help others with
their burdens? I am grieved for you, dear,
that this other trouble should have come;
but Tom is very clever, and we will all
nurse him back to health again. Good-night,
dearest. You must try to sleep, that
you may be strong to-morrow.”
The next day Lord Haddon was very ill—dangerously
ill—the fever ran very high,
other unfavourable symptoms had showed
themselves. Tom’s face was grave and
absorbed, and Raymond, who came over
at his brother’s request, looked even more
anxious. Yet possibly this alarming illness
of a guest beneath her roof was the very
best thing that could have happened, as
far as Monica herself was concerned. But
for his illness, Beatrice and her brother
must have left Trevlyn at once; it was
probable that Monica would have elected
to remain there entirely alone during the
early days of her widowhood, alone in her
own desolation, more heart-breaking to witness
than any wild abandonment of grief,
alone without even those last melancholy
offices to perform, without even the solemn
pageantry of a funeral to give some little
occupation to the mind, or to bring home in
its own incontrovertible way the fact that
a loved being has passed away from the
world for ever.
Randolph had, as it were, vanished from
this life almost as if spirited away. There
was nothing to be done, no obsequies to be
performed. For just a few days a faint
glimmer of hope existed in some minds
that a passing vessel might have picked
him up, that a telegram announcing his
safety might yet arrive; but at the end of
a week every spark of such hope had died
out, and Monica, who had never from the
first allowed herself to be so buoyed up, put
on her heavy widow’s weeds with the steady
unflinching calmness that had characterised
her throughout.
She devoted herself to the task of nursing
Lord Haddon, in which task she showed
untiring care and skill. All agreed that it
was best for her to have her thoughts and
attention occupied in some quiet labour
of love like this, and certainly her skill at
this time was such as to render her
services almost invaluable to the patient.
Haddon lay for weeks in a very critical
state, racked with pain and burning with
fever. Without being always delirious, he
was not in any way master of himself, and
no one could soothe, or quiet, or compose
him, during these long, weary days, except
Monica. She seemed to possess a power
that acted upon him like a charm. He
might not always know her—very often he
did not appear to recognise her, but he
always felt her influence. At her bidding
he would cease the restless tossing and
muttering that exhausted his strength
and gave him much needless pain. He
would take from her hand food that no one
else could persuade him to touch. She
could often soothe him to sleep, simply by
the sound of her voice, or the touch of
her hand upon his burning brow.
“If he pulls through it will be your
doing,” Tom sometimes said to her. And
Monica felt she could not do enough for the
youth, who had suffered all this in carrying
out her husband’s last command, and who
had succumbed when his task was done, in
hearing of the fate that had befallen his friend.
A curious bond seemed established between
those two, the power of which he felt
with a throb of keen joy almost akin to pain,
when at last the fever was subdued, and he
began to know in a feeble, uncertain sort
of fashion, what it was that had happened,
and how life had been going with him
during the past weeks.
It was of Monica he asked the
account of that terrible night, and from
her lips he learned the story to which none
else had dared to allude in her presence.
It was he who talked to her of Randolph,
recalled incidents of the past, talked of
their boyish days and the escapades they
had indulged together, passing on to the
increase of mutual understanding and
affection that had bound them together as
manhood advanced.
Nobody else talked to her like this.
Haddon never could have done so, had
not weakness and illness brought them
into such close communion one with
another. His feelings towards Monica
were those of simple adoration—he
worshipped the very ground she trod on.
He often felt that to die with her hand
upon his head, her eyes looking gently and
kindly into his, was all and more than he
could wish. His intense loving devotion
gave him a sort of insight into her true
nature, and he knew by instinct that
he did not hurt her when he talked to
her of him who was gone. Perhaps from
no other lips could Monica have borne that
name to be spoken just then; but Haddon
in his hours of wandering had talked so
much of Randolph, that she had grown
used to hear him speak of the husband she
had loved and lost, and she knew by the
way in which he had betrayed himself then
how deeply and truly he loved him.
When the fever had gone, and the patient
lay white and weak, hardly able to move
or speak, yet with a mind cleared from the
haunting shadows of delirium, eager to
know the history of all that had passed, it
had not seemed very hard then, in answer
to the wistful look in the big grey eyes,
and the whispered words from the pale lips
to tell him all the truth; and the ice once
broken thus, it had been no effort to talk of
Randolph afterwards, and to let Haddon
talk of him too.
This outlet did her good. She was
not a woman to whom talking was a
necessity, yet it was better for her to speak
sometimes of the sorrow that was weighing
upon her crushed spirit; and it was far, far
easier to do this to a listener like Haddon,
who from his weakness and prostration
could rise to no great heights of sympathy,
could offer no attempt at consolation, could
only look at her with wistful earnestness,
and murmur a broken word from time to
time, than it would have been to those who
would have met her with a burst of tears,
or with those quiet caresses and marks of
sympathy that must surely have broken
down her hardly-won composure and calm.
So this illness of Haddon’s had really
been a boon to her, and perhaps to others
as well; but for a few weeks Monica’s life
seemed passed in a sort of dream, and she
was able to notice but little that passed
around her. She was wrapped in a strange
trance—she lived in the past with her
husband, who sometimes hardly seemed to
have left her. Only when ministering to
the needs of the young earl did she arouse
herself from her waking dream, and even
then it sometimes seemed as if the dream
were the reality, and the reality a dream.
Tom was a great deal at Trevlyn just
now. For a long time Haddon’s condition
was so exceedingly critical that his presence
was almost a necessity, and when the patient
gradually became convalescent, Monica
needed his help in getting through the
business formalities that began to crowd
upon her when all hopes of Randolph’s
rescue became a thing of the past.
Monica was happy at least in this—there
was no need for her to leave her old home—no
new earl to claim Trevlyn, and banish
her from the place she loved best in the
world. The Trevlyns were a dying race,
as it seemed. Randolph and Monica were
the last of their name, and the entail
expired with him. Trevlyn was hers, as
well as all her husband’s property. She
was a rich woman, but in the first instance
it was difficult to understand the position,
and she naturally turned in her perplexity
to Tom Pendrill, who was a thorough man
of business, shrewd and hard-headed, and
who, from his long acquaintance and connection
with Trevlyn, understood more
about the estate than anybody else she
could have selected. He was very good to
her, as she always said. He put himself
entirely at her disposal, and played the
part of a kind and wise brother. His dry,
matter-of-fact manner of dealing with
transfer of property, and such-like matters,
was in itself a comfort. She was never
afraid of talking things over with him.
He kept sentiment studiously and entirely
in the back-ground. Although she knew
perfectly that his sympathy for her was
very great, he never obtruded it upon her
in the least; it was offered and accepted in
perfect silence on both sides.
Mrs. Pendrill, too, was a good deal at
Trevlyn. She yearned over Monica in the
days of her early widowhood, and she had
grown very fond of Beatrice and her brother.
Haddon wanted so very much care and
nursing that Mrs. Pendrill’s presence in the
house was often a help to all. Whilst
Monica was in the sick room, she and
Beatrice spent many long hours together,
and strange intimacy of thought sprang
up between those two who were so far
from each other in age and position.
Haddon, too, was fond of the gentle-faced
old lady, and he loved sometimes to get her
all to herself, and make her talk to him of
Monica.
His illness had left its traces upon
the earl. He had, despite his five-and-twenty
years, seemed but a lad all this
while; but when he left his bed, it was
curious to see how much of boyishness had
passed out of his face, how much quiet,
thoughtful manliness had taken its place.
Nobody quite knew how or why this
change had been so marked. Perhaps the
shock of his friend’s death had had something
to do with it: perhaps the danger he
had himself been in. Very near indeed to
the gates of death had the young man
stood. He had almost trodden the shadowy
valley, even though his steps had been
retraced to the land of the living. Perhaps
it was this knowledge that made him pass
as it were in one bound from boyhood to
manhood—or was there some other cause
at work?
His face wore a look of curious purpose
and resolution, oddly combined with a sort
of mute, determined patience: his pale,
sharpened face, that had changed so much
during the past weeks, was changed in expression
even more than in contour. His
grey eyes, once always full of boyish
merriment and laughter, were grave and
earnest now: the eyes of a man full of
thought, expressive of a hidden yet resolute
purpose. These hollow eyes followed Monica
about with unconscious persistency, and
rested upon her with a sense of perfect
content. When he grew a little stronger,
and could just rise from the sofa and trail
himself across the room, it was strange to
mark how eager he was to render her
those little instinctive attentions that come
naturally from a man to a woman.
Sometimes Monica would accept them
with a smile, oftener she would restrain
him with a gentle commanding gesture, and
bid him keep quiet till he was stronger;
but she accepted his chivalrous admiration
in the spirit in which it was offered, and
let him look upon himself as her especial
knight, as well he might, since to her skill
and care Tom plainly told him he owed his
life.
She let him talk to her of Randolph,
though none of the others dared to breathe
that name. Sometimes she played to him
in the dimness of the music-room—and
even he hardly knew how privileged he
was to be admitted there. She regarded
him in the light of a loved brother, and
felt tenderly towards him, as one who had
done and suffered much in the same cause
that had cost her gallant husband his life.
What he felt towards her would be more
difficult to analyse. At present he simply
worshipped her, with a humble, devout
singleness of purpose that elevated his
whole nature. The vague, fleeting, distant
hope that some day it might be given to
him to comfort her had hardly yet entered
into the region of conscious thought.
CHAPTER THE TWENTY-SEVENTH HAUNTED.
Christmas had come and gone whilst Lord
Haddon lay hovering between life and
death. As the year turned, he began to
regain health and strength; but his
progress was exceedingly slow, and all
idea of leaving Trevlyn was for the
present entirely out of the question. A
journey in mid-winter was not to be
thought of. It would be enough to bring
the whole illness back again; and Monica
would not listen when he sometimes said,
with diffidence and appeal, that he feared
they were encroaching too much upon her
hospitality and goodness. In truth, neither
brother nor sister were in haste to leave
Trevlyn, or to leave Monica alone in her
desolate widowhood; and as Haddon’s state
of health rendered a move out of the
question, the situation was accepted with
the more readiness.
Monica was able now to resume something
of the even tenor of her way, to take
up her daily round of duties, and shape out
her life in accordance with her strangely
altered circumstances.
All the old sense of dread connected with
the sea had now vanished entirely. It never
frowned upon her now. It was her friend
always—the haunting presentiment of
dread had passed away with the actual
certainty. Henceforward nothing could
hold for her any great measure of terror.
She had passed through the very worst
already.
Sometimes Monica had a strange feeling
that she was not alone during her favourite
twilight pacings by the sea. She had a
sense of being watched—followed—and
the uneasiness of the dogs added to
this impression. It troubled her but
little, however. She had no fears for
herself—she knew, too, that she was a
little fanciful, and that it was hardly
likely in reality that her footsteps were
dogged.
But one dim January evening, as she
pursued her way along the margin of the
sea, she was startled by seeing some large
object lying dark upon the pebbly beach.
Her heart beat more fast than was its wont,
for she saw as she approached that it was
the figure of a man, lying face downwards
upon the damp stones.
He did not look like a fisherman, he was
too well dressed, and there seemed something
not altogether unfamiliar in the
aspect of the slight, well-proportioned
figure. For a moment she could not recall
the association, but as the dogs ran up
snuffing and growling, the man started and
sat up, revealing the pale, haggard face of
Conrad Fitzgerald.
Monica recoiled with an instinctive
gesture of aversion. She had not seen
him since those summer days when she had
been haunted by the vision of his vindictive
face and sinister eyes. But how he had
changed since then! She could not help
looking at him, he was so pale, so thin;
his face was lined as if by pain, and his
fiery eyes were set in deep hollows. There
was something rather awful in his appearance,
yet he did not look so wicked, so
repulsive, as he had done many times
before.
A strange look of terror gleamed in his
eyes as they met those of Monica.
“Go away!” he cried wildly. “What
do you come here for? Why do you look
at me like that? Go—in mercy, go!”
Monica was startled at his wild words
and looks. Surely he was mad. But if
so, she must show no fear of him; she
knew enough to be aware of that.
“What are you doing out here in the
dark?” she said. “You ought not to be
lying there this cold night. You had
better go home, or you will lose your
way in the dark.”
He laughed wildly.
“Lose my way in the dark! It is always
dark now—always, since that dark night—ha!
ha!—that night!” His laugh was
terrible in its wild despair. “Why do you
look at me? Why do you speak to me?
You should not! You should not! You
would not if——oh, God! are you a ghost
too?”
Such an awful look of horror shone out
of his eyes that Monica’s blood ran cold.
His gaze was fixed on vacancy. He looked
straight at her, yet as if he did not see
her, but something beyond. The anguish
and despair painted upon that wild, yet
still beautiful, face smote Monica’s heart
with a sense of deep sorrow and pity.
“I am no ghost, Conrad,” she answered
gently, trying if the sound of the old name
would drive that wild madness out of his
eyes. “Why are you afraid? What are
you looking at? There is nothing there.”
For his eyes were still glaring wildly
into the darkness beyond, and as Monica
spoke he lifted his arm, and pointed to
something out at sea.
“Don’t look at me!” he whispered
hoarsely, yet not as if he addressed Monica.
“Don’t speak to me! If you speak, I
shall go mad! I shall go mad, I say!
Why do you haunt me so? Why do you
look always like that? I had a right—all
is fair in love and war—and hate! Why
did you give me the chance? I had a vow—a
vow in heaven—or hell! Ah! ha!
Revenge is sweet, after all!” and he burst
into a wild, discordant laugh, dreadful to
hear.
Monica shuddered, a sense of horror
creeping over her. She did not catch the
whole of his words, lost as that hoarse
whisper was sometimes in the sullen plash
of the advancing waves. The words were
not addressed to her, but to some imaginary
object visible only to the eye of madness.
She attached no meaning to what she
heard. She had no clue by which to
unravel the workings of his disordered
mind. Yet it was terrible to see his terror-stricken
face, and listen to the exclamations
addressed to a phantom foe. She tried to
recall him to himself.
“Conrad, there is no one here but ourselves.
You have been dreaming.”
Conrad turned his wild eyes towards her,
but continued to point wildly over the
sea.
“Can you not see him? There—out
there! His head—his eyes—ah, those
eyes!—as he looked then—then! Ah,
don’t look so at me, I say! You will
kill me!”
He buried his face in his hands and
shuddered from head to foot. Monica,
despite the shiver of horror that crept over
her, felt more strongly than anything else
a deep pity for one whose mind was so
visibly shattered. Much of the past could
be condoned to one whose mental faculties
were so terribly unstrung. She came one
step nearer, and laid her hand upon his
arm.
“You should not be out here alone,” she
said. “You had better go home. It is
growing dark already. If you will come
with me to the lodge, I will see that you
have a lantern; or, if you like, I will send
a servant with a lantern with you.” She
felt, indeed, that he was hardly in a condition
to be out alone. She wished Tom
Pendrill could see him now. But at the
touch of her hand Conrad sprang back as
if she had struck him. His eyes were
full of shrinking horror.
“Go away!” he said fiercely, “your
hand burns me—it burns me, I say! How
can you look at me or touch me? What
have I done that you come here day by
day to torment me? Is it not enough that
he leaves me no peace night or day?—that
he brings me down to this cursed place,
whether I will or no, but you must haunt
me too? Ah, it is too much—it is too
much, I say!”
She could not catch all these rapidly-uttered
words, but she read the hopeless
misery of his face.
“I do not wish to distress you, Conrad.
Will you go home quietly now? You are
not well; you should not be out here alone.
Have you anybody there to take care of
you?”
He laughed again, and flung his arms
above his head with a wild gesture of
despair.
“You say this to me—you! you! It only
wanted this. My God, this is too much!”
He turned from her and sprang away in
the darkness. She heard his steps as he
dashed recklessly up the cliff path—so
recklessly that she half expected to hear
the sound of a slip and a fall—and then as
he reached the summit and turned inland,
they died away into silence.
Monica drew a long breath of relief
when she found herself alone. There was
something expressibly awful in talking
alone to a madman in the dimness of the
dying day, in hearing his wild words
addressed to some phantom shadow seen
only by his disordered vision. She shivered
a little as she turned towards him. She
could stay no longer in that lonely place.
She met Tom looking out for her on her
return. He said something about her
staying out too long in the darkness. She
laid her hand upon his arm, and pacing up
and down the dark avenue, she told him of
her adventure with the madman.
“Tom, I am certain he ought to see a
doctor. Will you not see if you can do
something for him?”
She could not see the expression of Tom’s
face. Had she been able to do so, she
would have been startled. His voice was
very cold as he answered:
“I am not a lunacy commissioner,
Monica.”
She was surprised, and a little hurt.
“You are very hard, Tom. You
saw him once before, why not again?”
“If he, or his friends for him, require
medical advice, I suppose they are capable
of sending for it,” he said, adding with
sudden fierceness, as it seemed to her,
“Monica, Conrad Fitzgerald, ill or well, is
nothing to you. It is not fit you should
waste a single thought upon that scoundrel
again!”
She was surprised at his vehemence; it
was so unlike Tom to speak with heat.
What had there been in her account of
the meeting to discompose him so greatly?
Before she could attempt to frame the
question, he had asked one of her—asked
it abruptly, as it seemed irrelevantly.
“How long has Fitzgerald been in these
parts?”
“I don’t know? I have never seen him
till to-night, nor heard of him at all?”
“Nor I. Go in, Monica. It is too late
for you to be out.”
“And you?”
“I will come presently.”
“And you will think about what I asked
you?”
“I will think about it—yes.”
The tone was enigmatic. She could not
make Tom out at all, but she went in at
his bidding. She knew that he wished to
be alone, that he had something disturbing
upon his mind, though what it was she
could not divine.
Tom, as it turned out, had no choice in
the matter; for his brother sent to him
next day a message to the effect that Fitzgerald’s
servant had been to him with a
very sad account of his master, who
seemed to be suffering under an acute attack
of delirium tremens. Raymond thought
his brother, who had seen him once before,
had better go the next day in a casual
sort of way, and see if he could do anything.
Fitzgerald was furious at the idea
of having a doctor near him; but possibly
he would not regard Tom in that light, and
the servants would do all they could
to obtain for him access to their master.
They were terrified at his ravings, and
half afraid he would do himself or them
an injury if not placed under proper
control.
So Tom, upon the following afternoon,
started for the old dilapidated house,
without saying a word to anyone as to his
destination, and was eagerly admitted by a
haggard-looking servant, who said that his
master was “terrible bad to-day—it was
awful like to hear him go on,” and expressed
it as his opinion that he was almost past
knowing who was near him, he was so wild
and delirious. He had kept his bed for the
past two days, having been very ill since
coming in, wet and exhausted, on the night
Monica had seen him. Between the attacks
of delirium he was as weak as a child; and
with this much of warning and explanation,
Tom was ushered upstairs.
An hour later he left that desolate
house with a quick, firm tread, that broke,
as he turned a corner and was concealed
from view, almost to a run. His face was
very pale; it looked thinner and sharper
than it had done an hour before, and his
eyes were full of an unspeakable horror.
Now and again a sort of shudder ran
through his frame; but no word passed
his tightly-compressed lips. He hurried
through the tangled park as if some
deadly malaria lurked there. He hardly
drew his breath until he had left the
trees and brake behind, and had
plunged into the wild trackless moor;
even then, goaded by his thoughts, he
plunged blindly along for a mile or more,
until at last, breathless and exhausted, he
sank face downwards upon the heather,
trembling in every limb.
How long he lay there he never knew.
He was roused at last by a touch upon his
shoulder, and raising himself with a start,
he looked straight into the startled eyes of
Beatrice Wentworth.
CHAPTER THE TWENTY-EIGHTH. LOVERS.
Tom sprang to his feet, and the two stood
gazing at one another for a moment in
mute surprise.
“You are ill,” said Beatrice; “you
are as white as a sheet. What is the
matter?”
She spoke anxiously. She looked half
frightened at his strange looks; he saw
it, and recovered himself instantly. It
was perhaps the first time he had ever
been taken unawares, and he was not
altogether pleased that it had happened
now.
“What are you doing out here all
alone?” he asked peremptorily.
“What are you doing lying on the
ground on a cold January evening?” she
retorted. “Do you want to get rheumatic
fever, too?”
“Answer my question first. What
are you doing out here, miles away from
home, with the darkness coming on,
too?”
“I lost my way,” she answered carelessly.
“I never can keep my bearings in
these strange, wild places, where everything
looks alike.”
“Then I must take you home,” said Tom
shortly.
“You said you were going to dine at St.
Maws to-night,” she objected.
“I shall take you home first,” he said.
“It will be ever so much out of your
road. Just show me the way. I shall find
it fast enough.”
“I dare say—After having lost it in
broad daylight. You must come with me.
I cannot trust you.”
Beatrice flushed hotly as she turned and
walked beside him. Was more meant than
met the ear?
“There is not the least need you
should,” she said haughtily, and seemed
disposed to say no more.
Tom spoke first, spoke in his abrupt
peremptory fashion. He was absorbed and
distrait. She tried not to feel disappointed
at his words.
“Lady Beatrice, is it true that you knew
Randolph Trevlyn intimately for many
years?”
“Ever since I can remember. He was
almost like a brother to us.”
“Do you know if he ever had an
enemy?”
Beatrice looked up quickly into his pale
face.
“Why do you ask?”
“That is my affair. I do not ask
without a reason. Think before you
answer—if you can.”
“Randolph was always such a favourite,”
she began, but was interrupted by a quick
impatient gesture from Tom.
“Don’t chatter,” he said, almost rudely,
“think!”
Oddly enough this brusque reminder did
not offend her. She saw that Tom’s nerves
were all on edge, that they were strung to
a painful pitch of tension. She began to
catch some of his earnestness and determination.
Beatrice was taken out of herself, and
from that moment her manner changed for
the better. She thought the matter over
in silence.
“I have heard that Sir Conrad Fitzgerald
had an old grudge against him.”
“Ah!” breathed Tom softly.
“But I fancied, perhaps, that Monica’s
influence had made them friends. Randolph
knew some disreputable story
connected with Sir Conrad’s past life—Haddon
knows more about it than I do—and
he always hated him for it.”
“Ah!” said Tom again.
“Why do you ask?” questioned Beatrice
again; but he gave her no answer.
He was wrapped in deep thought. She
looked at him once or twice, but said no
more. He was the first to speak, and the
question was a little significant.
“You were down on the shore with
Monica and Trevlyn that night, were you
not?”
“Yes.”
“Was Fitzgerald there, too?”
She looked at him with startled eyes.
“No; certainly not.”
“Can you be sure of that? Was there
moon enough to show plainly everything
that went on?”
Beatrice put up her hand to her head.
“No,” she answered. “I ought not to
have spoken so positively. It was too
dark to see anything. There might have
been dozens of people there whom I might
never have seen. I was much too anxious
and excited to keep a sharp look-out—why
should I?—and there was not a gleam
of moonlight till many minutes after the
boat got back, and the confusion was very
great all the time. Why do you talk so?
Why do you ask such a question?”
She spoke with subdued excitement and
insistance.
“Somebody was in that boat unknown
to the crew,” he answered significantly.
“Was there?”
“Somebody steered the boat to shore.
You do not share, I presume, in the
popular belief of the phantom coxswain?”
Beatrice stopped short, trembling and
scared.
“You think——?” but she could only
get out those two words; she knew not how
to frame the question.
He bent his head. “I do.”
But she put out her hand with a quick,
passionate gesture, as if fighting with some
hideous phantom.
“Ah! no! no! It could not be. It
would be too unspeakably awful—too
horrible! How do you know? How can
you say such things? What has put such
a hideous thought into your mind?”
“I came from standing by Fitzgerald’s
bed, listening to his words of wandering,
his delirious outbursts. It is plain
enough what phantoms are haunting
him now—what pictures he is seeing,
as he lies in the stupor of drink and
opium. He is trying to drown thought
and remorse, but he has not succeeded
yet.”
Beatrice shuddered strongly, and faltered
a little in her walk. Tom took her hand
and placed it within his arm.
“You are tired, Beatrice?”
“No; but it is so awful. Tom”—calling
him so as unconsciously as he had
called her Beatrice—“must Monica know
this? Oh! it was cruel enough before—but
this——”
“She shall never know,” said Tom
quickly. “To what end should we add this
burden to what she carries now? No one
could prove it—it may be nothing more
than some sick fancy, engendered by the
thought of what might have been. Mind
you, I have no moral doubts myself; but
the man is practically mad, and no confession
or evidence given by him would be
accepted. He has fulfilled his vow—he
has murdered—practically murdered his
foe; but Monica must be spared the knowledge:
she must never know.”
“No, never! never!” cried Beatrice;
and her voice expressed so much feeling,
that Tom turned and looked at her in the
fading light.
“Have you a heart after all, Beatrice?”
he asked.
She made no answer; her heart beat
wildly, answering in its own fashion the
question asked, but not in a way that he
could hear.
“Beatrice,” rather fiercely, “why did
you not marry the marquis?”
“Because I loathed him.”
“You did not always loathe him?”
“I did, I did, always.”
“You flirted with him disgracefully,
then.”
She looked up with something of pleading
in her dark eyes.
“I was but eighteen.”
“Do you never flirt now?”
She looked up again, her eyes flashing
strangely.
“What right have you to ask such a
question?”
“The right of the man who loves you,”
he answered, in the same half-fierce, half-bitter
way—“who loves you with every
fibre of his being; and although he has
proved you vain and frivolous and heartless
once and again, cannot tear your
image from his heart. Do not think I am
complaining. I suppose you have a right
to please yourself; but sometimes I feel
as if no man had ever been treated so
abominably as I have been by you.”
“You by me!” she answered, panting in
her excitement, “when it was you who
left me in a fury, without one word of
farewell.”
“I thought I had had my congé pretty
distinctly.”
“You had had nothing of the kind—nothing
but a few wild confused words
from a mere child, frightened and bewildered
by happiness and nervousness
into the silliest of speeches a silly girl
could make at such a moment. But you
cannot understand—you never will—you
are made of stone, I think.”
He turned upon her quickly.
“I wish I were, sometimes,” he said;
“I wish it when I am near you. You make
me love you—I am powerless in your
hands, and you—you——”
“I love you with all my heart. I have
never loved anybody else, and you
have behaved cruelly, disgracefully to me
always.” The words came all at once in
one vehement burst of passion.
He stopped short, wheeled round, and
stood facing her. He could only just see
her face as they stood thus in the gathering
dusk.
“Beatrice,” he said, slowly, “what did
you say just now? Say it again.”
Defiance shone out of her eyes.
“I will not!” she said, her cheeks
flaming.
He took both her hands in his and held
them hard.
“Yes you will,” he answered. “Say it
again.”
She was panting with a strange mixture
of feeling; the earth and sky seemed
to spin round together.
“Say it again, Beatrice.”
“I said—I loved you; but I don’t—I
will never, never say it again——”
She got no farther, for he held her so
closely in his arms that all speech was impossible
for the moment.
“That will do,” he answered. “I
don’t want you to say it again. Once is
enough.”
“Monica,” said Beatrice in the softest
of whispers as she came into the quiet
room where her brother lay asleep upon
the sofa, and Monica sat dreaming beside
the fire. “Ah, Monica, Monica!” and
then she stopped short, kneeling down,
and turning her quivering face and swimming
eyes towards the face bent tenderly
over her.
Somehow it was never needful to say
much to Monica. She always understood
without many words. She bent her head
now, and kissed Beatrice.
“Is it so, then, dear?” she asked.
“Did you know?”
“I knew what you told me yourself,
and I could see for myself that he had not
forgotten any more than you.”
“I did not see it.”
“Possibly not—neither did he; but
sometimes love is very blind—and very
wilful too.”
Was there a touch of tender reproach
in the tone? Beatrice looked at her
earnestly.
“I know what you mean,” she said.
“We both want to be master; but I
think—I am afraid—he will have the
upper hand now.”
But the smile that quivered over the
upturned face was full of such sweetness
and brightness that Monica kissed her
again.
“You will not find him such a tyrant as
he professes to be. Tom is very generous
and unselfish, despite his affectation of
cynicism. I am so glad you have made
him happy at last. I am so glad that our
paths in life will not lie very widely
apart.”
Beatrice took Monica’s hand and kissed
it.
“I am so happy,” she said simply. “And
I owe it all to you.”
Monica caressed the dark head laid
against her knee, as Beatrice subsided into
her favourite lowly position at Monica’s
feet. Presently she became aware that the
girl’s tears were falling fast.
“Crying, dearest?” she questioned
gently.
A stifled sob was the answer.
“What is the matter, my child?”
“Randolph!” was all that Beatrice
could get out. Somehow the desolation
of Monica’s life had never come home to
her with quite the same sense of realisation
as now, in the hour of her deepest
happiness.
“He would be glad,” answered Monica,
steadily and sweetly. “He loved you
dearly, Beatrice; and he and Tom were
always such friends. It was his hope that
all would come right. If he can see us
now, as I often think he can, he will be
rejoicing in your happiness now. You
must shed no tears to-night, dearest, unless
they are tears of happiness.”
Beatrice suddenly half rose, and hung
her arms round Monica.
“How can you bear it? How can you
bear it? Monica, I think you are an
angel. No one in this wide world was
ever like you. And to think——” she
shuddered strongly and stopped short.
“You are excited and over-wrought,”
said Monica gently. “You must not let
yourself be knocked up, or Tom will scold
me when he comes back. See, Haddon is
waking up. He had such a bad headache,
poor boy; I hope he has slept it off. You
must tell him the news—it will please him
I am sure.”
“You tell him,” whispered Beatrice,
and slipped away to relieve her over-burdened
heart by a burst of tears; for
one strange revelation following upon
another had tried her more than she had
known at the time.
Haddon was quietly pleased at the news.
He liked Tom; he had fancied that he and
Beatrice were not altogether indifferent to
each other, so this conclusion did not
take him altogether by surprise. He was
sorry to think of losing Beatrice, but not
as perplexed as he would have been some
months before. Life looked different to
him now—more serious and earnest. He
began to have aspirations of his own. He
no longer regarded existence as a sort of
pleasant easy game of play.
Certainly it seemed as if the course of
true love as regarded Beatrice and Tom,
after passing its early shoals and quicksands,
were to run quietly and smoothly
enough now. He came back from St.
Maws in time for dinner, and when dessert
was put on the table, he announced his
plans with the hardihood characteristic of
the man.
“Aunt Elizabeth is delighted, Beatrice,
and so is Raymond,” he said. “I have
told them that we will be married almost
at once, within two months, at least—oh,
you needn’t look like that. I think I’ve
waited long enough—pretty well as long as
Jacob——”
“Did for Leah—and didn’t like her in
the end—don’t make that your precedent.”
“Well, don’t interrupt,” proceeded Tom
imperturbably. “We’ve got it all beautifully
arranged. I’m going to take part of
the regular practice, as Raymond has
always been bothering me to do ever since
it increased so much, and we’re to have
half the house for our establishment, and
he and Aunt Elizabeth the other. It was
originally two houses, and lends itself excellently
to that arrangement, though I dare
say practically we shall be all one household,
as you and our aunt have managed to
hit it off so well. Monica, can’t Beatrice
be married from Trevlyn when Haddon is
well enough to give her away? It would
save a lot of bother. I hate flummery, and
I’m sure she does too. Come now, Beatrice,
don’t laugh. Don’t you think that would
be an excellent arrangement? Here we
are; what is the good of getting all split
up again? You’ll be losing your heart to
another marquis if I let you out of my
sight.”
Her eyes were dancing with mischievous
merriment. She was more than ready to
enter the lists.
“Just listen to the tyrant—trying to
keep me a prisoner already! trying to take
everything into his own hands—and not
content without adding insult to injury!”
His eyes too were alight; but his mouth
was grim.
“I have not forgotten how you served
me last time, my lady.”
“At Oxford?”
“At Oxford.”
“Monica, listen. I will tell you how I
served him. I had eyes for no one but
him, silly girl that I was; I was with him
morning, noon and night. Child as I was
at the time, careless and inexperienced,
even I was absolutely ashamed at the open
preference I showed him; I blush even
now to think of the undisguised way in
which I flung myself at a particularly hard
head. And yet he pretends he did not
understand! If that is so, then for real,
downright, hopeless stupidity and obtuseness,
commend me to an Oxford double-first-class-man!”
Beatrice might get the best of it in an
encounter of tongues, but Tom had his own
way in the settlement of their affairs,
possibly because her resistance was but a
pretence. What, indeed, had they to wait
for, when they had been waiting so many
long years for one another?
Nothing clouded the horizon of their
happiness. Even the hideous shadow which
had been in a sense the means of bringing
them together seemed to have vanished
with the sudden disappearance of Conrad
Fitzgerald from the neighbourhood. Upon
the very day following Tom’s visit to him,
he left his house, ill and weak as he was,
to join his sister at Mentone. His servant
accompanied him. The desolate house
was shut up once more, and Tom Pendrill
sincerely hoped that the haunting baleful
influence of that wild and wicked nature
had passed from their lives for ever.
And Beatrice after all was married at
Trevlyn, in the little cliff church that had
seen the hands of Randolph and Monica
joined in wedlock. She resisted a good
while, feeling afraid that it would be
painful to Monica—a second wedding, and
that within a few months of her own
widowhood. But Monica took part with
Tom, and the bride elect gave way,
only too delighted at heart to be with
Monica to the very last.
It was a very quiet wedding—as quiet
as Monica’s own—even the people gathered
together in the little church had hardly
changed. Only one short year had passed
since Monica in her snowy robes had stood
before that little altar, with the marriage
vow upon her lips—only a year ago, and
now?
Yet Monica’s face was very calm and
sweet. She shed no tears, she seemed to
have no sad thoughts for herself, however
others might feel. One pair of grey eyes
seldom wandered from her face as the simple
ceremonies of the day proceeded. One
heart was far more occupied with thoughts
of the pale-faced widow than of the blooming
bride.
Haddon quitted Trevlyn almost immediately
after his sister. The words of
thanks he tried to speak faltered on his
tongue, and would not come.
Monica understood, and answered by
one of her sweetest smiles.
“You were Randolph’s friend; you are
my friend now. You must not try to
thank me. I am so very glad to think of
the link that binds us together. I shall
not lose sight of you whilst Beatrice is
so near. You will come again some
day?”
“Yes, Lady Trevlyn,” he answered
quietly, “I will come again;” and he
raised the hand he held for one moment
very reverently to his lips.
As he drove away he looked back,
and saw Monica still standing upon the
terrace.
“Yes,” he said quietly to himself, “I
will come back—some day.”
CHAPTER THE TWENTY-NINTH. “AS WE FORGIVE.”
A year had passed away since that fatal
night when Randolph had left his wife
standing on the shore—had gone away in
the darkness and had returned no more:
a year had passed, with its chequered lights
and shades, but the anniversary of her
husband’s death found Monica, as he had
left her, at Trevlyn—alone.
Many things had happened during that
year. Beatrice had married and settled
happily in the picturesque red house at
St. Maws as Tom Pendrill’s loving, brilliant
wife. Monica had been to Germany once
again, to assure herself with her own eyes
of the truth of the favourable reports sent to
her. She had had the satisfaction of seeing
how great an improvement had taken
place in Arthur’s condition; that although
the cure was slow—would most likely need
a second, possibly even a third year before
it would be absolutely complete, yet it was
practically certain, if he and those who
held his fate in their hands would but
have patience and perseverance. The boy
was quite happy in the establishment of
which he was a member. He had gone
through the most trying part of the
treatment, and was enthusiastic about the
kindness and skill of his doctor. He had
made many friends, and had quite lost
the home-sickness that had occasionally
troubled him at first. He was delighted
to see Monica again. He was insistant that
she should come to see him often; but he
did not even wish to return to Trevlyn till
he could do so whole and sound, as a man
in good health and strength, instead of a
helpless invalid.
Monica was summoned from Germany
by the news of the dangerous illness of
Lady Diana, who died only a few days
after the arrival of her niece. She had
been talking of making a permanent home
at Trevlyn now that Monica was so utterly
alone, but her death stopped all such
schemes; and so it came about that in
absolute solitude the young widowed
countess took up her abode for the winter
in the great silent castle beside the sea.
The sea still exercised its old fascination
over Monica. Her happiest hours were
spent wandering by its brink or riding
along the breezy cliff. It was a friend indeed
to her in those days, it frowned upon
her no more. It had done its worst already—it
had taken away the light of her life.
Might it not be possible—was there not
something of promise in its eternal music?
Could it be that in some unexpected,
mysterious way it would bring back some
of the light that had been taken away—would
be the means of uniting once again
the hearts that had been so cruelly
sundered? Strange thoughts and fancies
flitted often through her brain, formless
and indistinct, but comforting withal.
Returning to the castle at dusk one
day, after one of these solitary rambles,
she found an unusual bustle and excitement
stirring there. Wilberforce hurried
forward to explain the cause of the unwonted
tumult.
“I hope I have not done wrong, my
lady. You were not here to give orders,
and I could only act as I felt you would
wish. A lad came running in with a
scared face not half an hour back, saying
there was a man lying at the foot of the
cliffs, as if he had fallen over. I scarce
think he can be alive if that be so; but I
told the men that if he was—as there is no
other decent house near—I thought you
would wish——”
“That he should be brought here.
Quite right, Wilberforce. Is there a room
ready? Has Mr. Pendrill been sent for?”
“The groom has gone this twenty
minutes. Living or dead, he must have a
doctor to him. The maids are getting the
east room ready, yet I doubt if he can be
living after such a fall.”
“He may not have fallen over the cliff.
He may have been scaling it, and have
dropped from but a small height. See that
everything likely to be needed is ready.
He may be here almost immediately now.”
She went up to the bed-room herself, to
see if it were ready should there be need.
It was probably only some poor tramp or
fisherman who had met with the accident—no
matter, he should be tended at
Trevlyn, he should lie in its most comfortable
guest-chamber, he should have every
care that wealth could supply. Monica
knew too well the dire results that might
follow a slip down those hard, treacherous
cliffs not to feel peculiarly tender and
solicitous over another victim.
The steady tramp of feet ascending the
stairs and approaching the room where she
stood, roused Monica to the knowledge that
the injured man was not dead, and that
they were bringing him up to be tended
and nursed as she had directed. The door
was pushed open; six men carried in their
burden upon an improvised stretcher, and
laid it just as it was upon the bed. Monica
stepped forward, and then started, growing
a little pale; for she recognised in the
death-like rigid face before her the well-known
countenance of Conrad Fitzgerald.
She could not look without a shudder at
that shattered frame, and Wilberforce
shook her head gravely, marvelling that
he yet breathed. None save professional
hands dared touch him, so distorted and
dislocated was every limb; and yet by one
of those strange coincidences, not altogether
uncommon in cases of accident, the beautiful
face was entirely untouched, not marred
by a scratch or contusion. Death-like
unconsciousness had set its seal upon those
chiselled, marble features, and had wiped
from them every trace of passion or of vice.
Tom Pendrill was amongst them long
before they looked for him. He had met
the messenger not far from Trevlyn, and
had come at once. He turned Monica out
of the room with a stern precipitancy that
perplexed her somewhat, as did also the
expression of his face, which she did not
understand. He shut himself up with his
patient, retaining the services of Wilberforce
and one of the men.
It was two hours before she saw him
again.
Monica wandered up and down the dark
hall, revolving many things in her mind.
What had brought Conrad so suddenly
back at this melancholy time of the year?
She had believed him abroad with his
sister, with whom he seemed to have spent
his time since his disappearance early in
the spring. What had brought him back
now? And why did he so haunt the
frowning, treacherous cliffs of Trevlyn?
Was he mad? But why did his madness
always drive him to this spot? She asked
many such questions of herself, but she
could answer none of them.
At last Tom came down. His face
looked as if carved in flint. She could not
read the meaning of his glance.
“Is he dead?” she asked softly.
“He cannot last long. If he has any
relations near, they should be telegraphed
for.”
“His sister is in Italy, I believe. There
is no one else that I know of.”
“Then there is nothing to be done. He
is sinking fast. He cannot live many hours.
I doubt if he will last the night.”
Monica’s face was pale and grave.
“Poor Conrad!” she said, beneath her
breath.
Tom started, and made a quick movement
as of repulsion.
“No one could wish him to live,” he
began, almost roughly; “he has hardly a
whole bone in his body.”
“Is he conscious?”
“No, nor likely to be. It is not at all
probable he will ever open his eyes again.
He will most likely sink quietly, without a
sound or a sign. I have done all I can for
him. Somebody must be with him to watch
him, I suppose. It can only be a question
of hours now.” A dark cloud hung upon
the doctor’s brow. His thoughts were preoccupied.
Presently he spoke again—a
sort of mutter between his teeth.
“He ought not to be allowed to die here—under
this roof. It is monstrous—hateful
to think of! Nothing can save him.
Yet I suppose it would be murder to move
him now.”
Monica looked up quickly.
“Move him! Tom, what are you thinking
of?”
“I know it cannot be done,” was the
answer, spoken in a stern, dogged tone.
“Yet I repeat what I said before: he ought
not to be under this roof.”
There was a gentle reproach in the look
that Monica bent upon him.
“My husband’s roof and mine will
always be a refuge for any whose need
is as sore as his. Sometimes I think, Tom,
that you are the very hardest man I ever
met. His life, I know, is terribly stained;
yet it is not for us to judge him.”
It seemed as if Tom were agitated. He
gave no outward sign, but his face was
pale, his manner curiously harsh and peremptory.
“You do not know,” he said. “Your
husband——”
She stopped him by a gesture.
“My husband would be the first to bid
me return good for evil. You know Randolph
very little if you do not know that.
Conrad is dying, and death wipes out much.
He is about to answer for his life to a higher
tribunal than ours. Ah! let us not condemn
him harshly. Have we not all our
sins upon our heads? When my turn
comes to answer for mine, let me not have
this one added—that I hardened my heart
against the dying, and denied the help and
succour mutely asked at the last hour.”
“Monica,” said Tom, with one of those
swift changes that marked his manner when
he was deeply moved, “were I worthy, I
would kiss the hem of your garment. As
it is, I can only say farewell. God be with
you!”
He was gone before she could open her
lips again. She stood in a sort of dream,
feeling as if some strange thing were about
to happen to her.
Night fell upon the castle and its inhabitants,
but Monica could not sleep. If ever
she closed her eyes in momentary slumber,
the same vivid dream recurred again and
again, till she was oppressed and exhausted
by the effort to escape from it. It was
Conrad, always Conrad, begging, praying,
beseeching her to come. Sometimes it
seemed as if his shadowy form stood beside
her, wildly praying the same thing—to come
to him—to come before it was too late.
At last she could stand it no longer.
She rose and dressed. The clock in the
tower struck four. She knew she could
sleep no more that night. Why should
she not take the watch beside the unconscious
dying man, and let the faithful
Wilberforce get some rest?
She stole noiselessly to the sick room.
There had been no change in the patient’s
state. He lived, but could hardly live much
longer. Wilberforce would fain have
stayed, but Monica dismissed her quietly
and firmly, preferring to keep her watch
alone.
Profound silence reigned in the great
house—silence only broken from time to
time by the reverberating strokes of the
clock in the tower, or by the sudden sinking
of the coal in the grate and the quiet
fall of the cinders. There was something
inexpressibly solemn in the time, the place,
and the office thus undertaken by Monica.
Conrad lay dying—Conrad, once her
friend and playmate, then her bitterest,
cruellest foe, now?—ah yes, what now?—she
asked that question many times of
herself. What strange, mysterious power
is that of death! How it blots out all
hatred, anger, bitterness, and distrust, and
leaves in its place a sort of tender, mournful
compassion. Who can look upon the
face of the dead, and cherish hard thoughts
of him that is gone?
Not Monica, at least. Conrad had been
to her as the evil genius of one crisis of her
life—of more had she but known it. She
had said in her heart that she could never
forgive him, that she would never voluntarily
look upon his face again, and yet
here he lay dying beneath her roof, and she
was with him. She could not, when it
came to the point, leave him to die alone,
with only a stranger beside him. He might
never know, his eyes would probably never
open to the light of this world again; but she
should know, and in years to come, when
time should, even more than now, have
softened all things to her, she knew that
she should be glad to think she had shown
mercy and compassion towards one in death,
who had shown himself in life her bitterest
foe.
Very solemn thoughts filled her mind as
she sat in that quiet room, in which a strong
young life was quickly ebbing away. Would
the sin-stained soul pass into the shadowy
land of the hereafter in silence and darkness,
without one moment for preparation—perhaps
for repentance? Would some slight
gleam of consciousness be granted? would
it be vouchsafed to him to wake once more
in this world, to give some sign to the
earnest, silent watcher whether he had tried
to make his peace with God before he was
called to his last account?
The lamp burned low—flickered in its
socket. That strange blue film, the first
forerunner of the coming day, stole
solemnly into that quiet room. Suddenly
Monica became aware that Conrad’s eyes
were open, and fixed intently upon her
face. She rose and stood beside him.
“You are here?” he said, in a strange
low voice. “I felt that you would hear
me call—and would come. I knew I
could not—die—till I had told you all.”
She did not know how far he was
conscious. His words were strange, but
his eye was calm and quiet. He took the
stimulant she held to his lips. It gave him
an access of strength.
“Where am I?” he asked.
“At Trevlyn.”
A strange look flitted over his face.
“Ah! I remember now—I fell. And I
have been brought to Trevlyn—to die—and
you, Monica, are with me. It is
well.”
She hardly knew what to say, or how to
answer the awed look in those dying
eyes. He bent a keen glance upon her.
“Will it be soon?” he asked; and she
knew that the “it” meant death. She
could not deceive him. She bent her head
in assent, as she said:
“Very soon, I think.”
His eyes never left her face. His own
face moved not a muscle, but its expression
changed moment by moment in a way she
could not understand.
“There is not much time left, Monica.
Sit down by me where I can see you. I
must make a confession to you before I
die.”
“Not to me, Conrad,” said Monica
gently. “Confess your sins to our Father
in Heaven. He alone can grant forgiveness;
and His mercies are very great.”
“Forgiveness!” the word was spoken
with an intensity of bitterness that startled
Monica. The horror was deepening each
moment in his eyes. She began to feel
that it was reflected in her own. What did
it all mean?
“God is very merciful,” she said gently,
commanding herself so that he should not
see her agitation.
“You do not know,” he interrupted
almost fiercely. “Wait till I have told
you all.”
“Why should you tell me, Conrad? I
know much of your past life. I know that
you have sinned. Ask God’s forgiveness
before it is too late. It is against Him,
not me, that you have sinned.”
“Against Him and you,” he answered
with a grave intensity of manner that
plainly showed him master of his faculties.
“Listen to me, Monica—you shall listen!
I cannot carry the guilty secret to the
grave. Death looks me in the face—he
holds me by the hand, but he will not let
me leave this world till I have told you all.”
A sort of horror fell upon Monica. She
neither spoke nor moved.
“Monica, turn your face this way. I
want to see it. I must see it. You
remember the night, a year ago, when—your
husband—went away?”
She bent her head in silence.
“Did you know that I was there—in the
boat with him?”
She raised her head, and looked at him
speechlessly.
“I was there,” he said, “but nobody
knew, nobody suspected. I was on the
shore before you. I saw you cling to him.
I heard every word that passed. I think
a demon entered into my soul as you kissed
each other that night. ‘Kiss her!’ I said,
‘kiss her—you shall never kiss her again!’
Monica, I think sometimes I am mad—I
was mad, possessed, that night. I had no
will, no power to resist the evil spirit
within me. He went down to the boat. I
followed. In the black darkness nobody
saw me swing myself in. You know the
story the men told when they came back—it
was all true enough. The crew of the
sinking vessel had been rescued. Your
husband left the boat to help the little lad.
I followed him, unknown to all. He had
already handed the boy into the boat when
I came stealthily up to him; the boat had
swung round, and for a moment was lost in
darkness before it could be brought up
again. This was my chance. It was
pitchy dark, and he did not see me, though
I was close beside him. I had the great
boat-hook in my hand; we were both
sinking with the sinking vessel. I steadied
myself, and brought the metal end of the
weapon with all my strength upon his head.
He sank without a cry. I saw his head,
covered with blood, and his glassy eyes
above the water for a moment—the sight
has haunted me ever since—then I sprang
into the boat. ‘All right!’ I shouted, and
the men pulled off with a will, without a
suspicion or a doubt. Almost before the
boat reached the shore I sprang out, and
vanished in the darkness before any one
had seen me. My vow of vengeance was
fulfilled. I murdered your husband Monica—do
you understand?—I murdered him
in cold blood! What have you to say to
me?”
She sat still as a marble statue, her hands
closely locked together. She spoke no
word.
“I thought revenge would be sweet;
but it has been bitter—bitter—bitter! I
have known no peace night or day. I
have been ceaselessly haunted by the sight
of that ghastly face—ah, I see it now!
Every time I lie down to sleep I am
doomed to do that hideous deed again.
I have fled time after time from the scene
of my crime, only to be dragged back by
a power I cannot resist. I knew that a
terrible retribution would come; yet I
could not keep away. And now—yes, it
has come—more terrible than ever I
pictured. I am dying—in his house—and
you—his wife—are watching over me.
Ah, it is frightful! Is there forgiveness
with God for sin like mine? You say His
mercies are great. Can they cover this
hideous deed? Monica, can you forgive?”
He spoke with the wild, passionate
appeal of despair. The anguish and
remorse in his face were terrible to see;
but Monica did not speak. She sat rigid
and still, as pale as death, her eyes glowing
like living fire in the wild conflict of her
feelings. This was terrible—too terrible
to be borne.
“Monica, I am dying—dying! The
shadows are closing round me. Ah, do
not turn away! It is all so dark; if you
desert me I am lost indeed! If you were
dying you would understand. Monica,
you say God is good—merciful. I have
asked His pardon again and again for this
black sin, and even as I pray it seems as if
you—your pale, still face—rises ever
between me and the forgiveness I crave.
I read by this token that to you I must
confess this blackest sin; of you I must
ask pardon too. I have repented. I do
repent. I would give my life to call him
back. Monica, forgive—forgive! Have
mercy upon a dying man. As you will
one day ask pardon at God’s hands even for
your blameless life, give me your pardon
ere I die!”
Who shall estimate the struggle that
raged in Monica’s soul during the brief
moments that followed this appeal—moments
that to her were like hours, years,
for the concentrated passion of feeling that
surged through them? She felt as if she
had grown sensibly older, ere, white and
shaken by the conflict, she won the victory
over herself.
She rose and stood beside him.
“Conrad, I forgive you. May God
forgive you as I do.”
A sudden light flashed into his dim eyes.
The awful, unspeakable horror passed slowly
away. The deep darkness lifted a little—a
very little—and Monica saw that it was so.
“I think—you have—saved me,” he
whispered, whilst the death damp gathered
on his brow. “Monica, you will have your
reward for this—I know it—I feel it. Ah!
is this death? Monica—it is coming—teach
me to pray—I cannot—I have
forgotten—help me!”
“I will help you, Conrad. Say it after
me. ‘Our Father which art in Heaven,
Hallowed be Thy name; Thy kingdom
come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in
Heaven; Give us this day our daily bread;
And forgive us our trespasses; As we
forgive’——”
“‘As we forgive’——” Conrad broke
off suddenly; a strange look of gladness,
of relief, of comprehension, flashing over
the face that had been so full of terror and
anguish. “‘As we forgive’—and you have
forgiven—then it may be that He will forgive
too. I could not believe it before—now
I can—God be merciful to me, a sinner!”
Those were his last words. Already his
eyes were glazing. The hush as of the
shadow of death was filling that dim room.
Monica knelt beside the bed, a sense of
deep awe upon her, praying with all the
strength of her pure soul for the guilty,
erring man—her husband’s murderer—dying
beneath his roof.
And as she thus knelt and prayed, a
sudden sense of her husband’s presence
filled all her soul with an inexpressible,
indescribable thrill of mingled rapture and
awe. She trembled, and her heart beat
thick and fast; whether she were in the
spirit or out of the spirit she did not know.
And then—in deep immeasurable distance,
far, far away, and yet distinctly, sweetly
clear—unmistakable—the sound of a voice—Randolph’s
voice—thrilling through infinity
of space:
“Monica! Monica! My wife!”
She started to her feet, quivering in
every limb. Conrad’s eyes were fixed upon
her with an inexplicable look of joy. Had
he heard it too? What did it mean—that
strange cry from the spirit world in this
hour of death and dawn?
She leant over the dying man.
“Conrad,” she said, in a voice that was
full of an emotion too deep for any but the
simplest of words, “I forgive you—so does
Randolph; and I think God has forgiven
you too.”
The clear radiance of another day was
shining upon the earth as the troubled,
erring spirit was set free, and passed away
into the great hereafter, whose secrets shall
be read in God’s good time, when all but
His Word shall have passed away.
Let us not judge him—for is there not
joy with the angels in heaven over one
sinner that repenteth?
Yes, all was over now: all the weary
warfare of sin and strife; and with a calm
majesty in death, that the beautiful face
had never worn in life, Conrad Fitzgerald
lay dead in Castle Trevlyn.
CHAPTER THE THIRTIETH. LORD HADDON.
“And you forgave him, Monica, you
forgave him? The man who had killed
your husband?”
It was Beatrice who spoke, and she spoke
with a sort of horror in her tone. Tom
stood a little apart in the recess of the
window, a heavy cloud upon his brow.
Lord Haddon was leaning with averted face
upon the high carved mantel-shelf.
They had all come over early to Trevlyn
to hear the fate of the hapless man who
had died in the night. Beatrice felt an
unquenchable longing to know if he had
spoken before he died—if by chance the
terrible secret had escaped in delirium from
his lips; and she had insisted on coming
with her husband. Her brother, who had
arrived unexpectedly the previous evening,
had made one of the party. He was
hungering for another sight of Monica, and
Trevlyn seemed to draw him like a magnet.
Monica’s face had told a tale of its own
when she had first appeared; and the
whispered question on Beatrice’s lips:
“Did he speak, Monica? Did he say
anything?” elicited a reply that led to
explanations on both sides, rendering
further reserve needless; and Monica told
her tale with the quiet calmness of one
who has too lately passed through some
great mental conflict to be easily disturbed
again.
But Beatrice, fiery, impetuous Beatrice,
could not understand this calm. She was
shaken by a tempest of excitement and
wrath.
“You forgave him, Monica? Ah! how
could you? Randolph’s murderer!”
“Yes, I forgave him.”
“You should not! You should not! It
was not—it could not be right! Monica, I
cannot understand you. I think you are
made of stone!”
She said nothing; she smiled. That
smile was only seen by Haddon. It
thrilled him to his heart’s core.
“How came you to be with him at all?”
said Tom, almost sternly. “It was not
your duty to be there. It was no fit place
for you.”
“I think my place is where there is
sorrow and need and loneliness,” answered
Monica, very gently. “He needed me—and
I came to him.”
“He sent for you?”
“I think he did.”
“But you said——”
Monica lifted her hand; she rose to her
feet, passing her hand across her brow.
“You would not understand, dear.
There are some things, Beatrice, that you
are very slow to learn. You know something
of the mysteries of life, but you do
not understand anything of those deeper
mysteries of death. I have forgiven a
dying man, who prayed forgiveness with
his latest breath—and you look at me with
horror.”
Beatrice gazed at Monica, but yet would
not yield her point.
“Mercy can be carried too far——” but
she could not say more, for the look upon
Monica’s face brought a sudden sense of
choking that would have made her voice
falter had she attempted to proceed. Her
brother’s murmured words, therefore, were
now distinctly heard.
“Not in God’s sight, perhaps.”
Monica turned to him with a swift gesture
inexpressibly sweet.
“Ah! you understand,” she said simply.
“I am glad you have come just now,
Haddon. I shall want help. Will you
give it me?”
“I will do anything for you, and esteem
it an honour.”
She looked at him steadily.
“Even if it is for one who—for the one
who lies upstairs now—dead?”
Haddon bent his head.
“Even for him—at your bidding.”
“Thank you,” she said.
“I will take you home now, Beatrice,”
said Tom, curtly. “We are not wanted
here.”
Monica looked questioningly at him, as
she gave him her hand, to see what this
abruptness might signify. He returned
her gaze with equal intensity.
“I believe you are an angel, Monica,”
he said, lifting her hand for a moment to
his lips; “but there are moments when
fallen mortals like ourselves feel the angelic
presence a little overpowering.”
Monica, as she had said, wanted the help
of some man of business, as there was a
good deal to be done in connection with
Conrad’s sudden death: a good many
trying formalities to be gone through, as
well as much correspondence, and in Lord
Haddon she found an able and willing
assistant.
He saw much of Monica in those days.
He was often at Trevlyn—hardly a day
passed without his riding or driving across
on some errand—and she was often at St.
Maws herself, for Beatrice’s momentary
flash of anger had been rapidly quenched
in deep contrition and humility; and both
she and her husband treated Monica with
the sort of reverential tenderness that
seemed to meet her now on all hands.
Lord Haddon watched her day by day,
wondering if ever he should dare to
breathe a word of the hopes that filled
his heart, reading in her calm face and
in the sisterly gentleness and fondness
with which she treated him, how little
conscious she was of the purpose that
possessed his soul. Sometimes he paused
and shrank from troubling the still waters
of their sweet, calm friendship, but then
again the thought of leaving her in her
loneliness and isolation seemed too sad and
mournful, if by any devotion and love he
could lighten the burden of her sorrow,
and bring back something of the lost
happiness into her life. Haddon was very
humble, very self-distrustful; he did not
expect to accomplish much, but he felt that
he would gladly lay down his life, if by
that act he could do anything to comfort
her. To die for her would, however, be
purposeless: the next thing was to try
and live for her.
And so one day, as they paced the lonely
shore together, on a chill cloudy winter’s
afternoon, he put his fate to the touch.
She had noticed his silence—his abstraction:
he had not been quite himself all
day. Presently they reached a sheltered
nook amongst some rocks not far from the
water’s edge, and she sat down, motioning
him to do the same. She looked at him
with gentle, friendly concern.
“Is anything the matter?” she asked.
“Have you something on your mind?”
He turned his head, looked into her eyes,
and answered:
“Yes.”
“Can I help you?” she continued, in
the same sweet way. “You help me so
often, that it is my turn to help you now if
I can.”
He looked with a glance she could not
altogether understand.
“Monica,” he said, “may I speak to
you?—may I tell you something? I have
tried to do so before, and have failed; but
I ought not to go on longer without speaking.
Have I your permission to tell you
what is on my mind?”
He did not often call her by her
Christian name: only in moments of excitement,
when his soul was stirred within
him. The unconscious way in which it
dropped now from his lips told that he was
deeply moved. A sort of vague uneasiness
arose within her, but she looked into his
troubled, resolute face, and answered:
“Tell me if you wish it, Haddon”—although
she shrank, without knowing
why, from the confession she was to hear.
“Monica,” he said, not looking at her,
but out over the sea, and speaking with a
manly resolution and fluency unusual with
him, the outcome of a very earnest purpose,
“I am going to speak to you at last, and
I must ask you beforehand to pardon my
presumption, of which I am as well aware
as you can ever be. Monica, I think that
no woman in the wide world is like you.
I have thought so ever since I saw you
first, in your bridal robes, standing beside
Randolph in that little church over yonder.
When I saw you then—nay, pardon me if
I pain you; I should not have recalled
the memory, and yet I cannot help it—I
said within myself that you were one to
be worshipped with the truest devotion of
a man’s heart; and the more I saw of
you in later life, the deeper did that
feeling sink into my soul. He, your husband,
had been as a brother to me, and to
feel that I was thus brought near to you,
admitted to friendship and to confidence,
was a source of keen pleasure such as I
can ill describe. You did not know your
power over me, Monica. I hardly knew it
myself; but I think I would at any time
have laid down my life either for him or
for you. I know I would that fatal night—but
I must not pain you more. When
I awoke, Monica, from that long fever, to
find you watching beside me, to hear that
he, my friend, was dead, and you left all
alone in your desolation—Monica, Monica,
how can I hope to express to you what I
felt? It is not treachery to his memory—believe
me, it is not. If I could call him
back, ah! how gladly would I do it!—at
the cost of my life if need be—but that
can never, never be! I know I can never
fill his place. I know I am utterly unworthy
of the boon I ask; but if a life-long
devotion, if a love that will never change
nor falter, if the ceaseless care of one, who
is yours wholly and entirely, can ever help
to fill the blank, can in ever so small a
degree make up to you for that one irretrievable
loss, believe me, it will be the
greatest happiness I can ever know.
Monica, need I say more? Have I said
too much? I only ask leave to watch over
you, to comfort you, to love you; I ask
nothing for myself—only the right to do
this. Can you not give it to me? God
helping me, you shall never repent it if
you do.”
A long pause followed this confession—this
appeal. Monica’s face had expressed
many fluctuating feelings as he had proceeded
with his speech. Now it was full
of a sort of divine compassion and tenderness:
a look sometimes seen in a pictured
saint or Madonna drawn by a master
hand.
“You are so good,” she said, very low;
“so very, very good; and it grieves me so
sadly to give you pain.”
He turned his head and looked at her.
His eyes darkened with sudden sorrow.
“I have spoken too soon,” he said, in
the same gentle, self-contained way. “I
have tried to be patient, but seeing you
lonely and sad makes it so hard. I
should have waited longer—it is only a
year now since. Monica, do not think me
hard or callous to say it, but time is a
great softener—a great healer. I do not
mean that you will ever forget; but years
will go by, and you are still quite young,
very young to live your life always alone.
Think of the years that lie before you.
Must they all be spent alone? Monica, do
not answer me yet; but if in time to come—if
you want a friend, a helper—let me—can
you think of me? Ah! how can I
say it? Can I ever be more to you than
I am now? You understand: you have
only to call me, to command me—I will
come.”
He spoke with some agitation now, but
it was quickly subdued. It seemed as if
he would have left her, but she laid her
hand upon his arm and detained him.
“Haddon,” she said, softly, “I am lonely
and I do want a friend. You have been a
friend to me always; I trust and love you
as a brother. May I not do so always?
Can you not be content with that? Must
it end with us, that love and trust? I
should miss it sorely if it were withdrawn.”
Her sweet, pleading face was turned
towards him. There was a sort of struggle
in the young man’s mind: then he answered
quietly:
“It shall be so, if you wish it,” he said.
“My chiefest wish is for your happiness.
But——”
She checked him by a look.
“Haddon, I am Randolph’s wife!”
His eyes gave the reply his tongue would
never have uttered. She answered as if he
had spoken.
“Yes, he is dead. Did you think that
made any difference? Ah, you do not
understand. When I gave myself to Randolph,
I gave myself for ever—not for a
time only but for always. He is my
husband. I am his wife. Nothing can
change that.”
“Not even death?”
The words were a mere whisper; yet
she heard them. It seemed as if a sudden
ray of light shone upon the face she turned
towards him. He was awed; he watched
her in mute silence.
“Ah! no,” she said, very softly, “not
death—death least of all. Death can only
divide us, it cannot touch our love. Ah!
you do not know, you do not understand.
How can I make it clear to you? Love is
like nothing else in the world—it is us, our
very selves. Somewhere——” Monica
clasped her hands together, and stretched
them out before her towards the eternal
ocean, with a gesture more eloquent than
any words, whilst the light upon her face
deepened in intensity every moment as her
eyes fixed themselves upon the far horizon.
“Somewhere he is waiting for me to come
to him—he, my husband, my love; and
though he may not come back to me, I
shall go to him in God’s good time, and
when I join him in the great, eternal home,
I must go to him as he left me—with
nothing between us and our love; and
there will be no parting there, no more
death, and no more sea.”
Her words died away in silence; but her
parted lips, her shining eyes, the light upon
her face, spoke an eloquent language of
their own. Her companion sat and looked
at her in mute, breathless silence, not unmixed
with awe.
He knew his cause was lost. He knew
she could never, never be his; yet, strange
to say, he was not saddened or cast down,
for by this revelation of her innermost
heart he felt himself uplifted and ennobled.
His idol was not shattered. Monica was,
as ever, enshrined in his heart—the one
ideal woman to be worshipped, reverenced,
adored. Even in this supreme hour of his
life, when the airy fabric of his dreams was
crumbling into dust about him, he had a
perception that perhaps even thus it was
best. He never could be worthy of
her, and now he might still call himself
her friend; had she not said so herself?
There was a long, long silence between
them. Then he moved, kneeling on one
knee before her, and taking her hand in
his.
“Monica,” he said, “I understand now.
I shall never trouble you again. You have
judged well, very well; it is like you, and
that is enough. But before I go may I
crave one boon?”
“And that is——?”
“That you forget all that I have said,
all the wild, foolish words that I have
spoken; and let me keep my old place—as
your brother and friend.”
She looked at him with her own gentle
smile.
“I wish for nothing better,” she answered.
“I cannot afford to lose my
friend.”
He pressed her hand for one moment to
his lips, and was gone without another word.
Tears slowly welled up in Monica’s eyes
as she rose at last, and stood looking out over
the vast waste of heaving grey sea—sad,
colourless, troubled.
“Like my life,” she said softly to herself.
And yet she had just put away a
love that might at least have cast a glow
upon it, and gilded its dim edges.
She stretched out her hand with a sort
of mute gesture of entreaty.
“Ah! Randolph, husband, come back
to me! I am so lonely, so desolate!”
Even as she spoke, the setting sun, as it
touched the horizon, broke through the
bank of cloud which had veiled it all
the day, and flooded the sea as with
liquid gold—that cold grey sea that she
had just been likening to her own future
life.
She could not help an involuntary start.
“Is it an omen?” she asked; and
despite the heavy load at her heart, she
went home somewhat comforted.
CHAPTER THE THIRTY-FIRST. CHRISTMAS.
It was Christmas Eve; the light was just
beginning to wane, and Monica’s work was
done at last. She was free now until the
arrival of her guests—the Pendrills and
Lord Haddon—should give her new occupation
in hospitable care for them.
Monica had been too busy for thoughts
of self to intrude often upon her during
these past days. She wished to be busy;
she tried to occupy herself from morning
to night, for she found that the aching
hunger of her heart was more eased by
loving deeds of mercy and kindness than
in any other way—self more fully lost in
ceaseless care for others. But when all
was done, every single thing disposed of,
nothing more left to think of or to accomplish;
then the inevitable reaction set in,
and with a heart aching to pain, almost to
despair, Monica entered the music-room,
and sat down to her organ.
She played with a sort of passionate
appeal that was infinitely pathetic, had any
one been there to hear; she threw all the
yearning sadness of her soul into her
organ, and it seemed to answer her back
with a promise of strong sympathy and
consolation. Insensibly she was soothed
by the sweet sounds she evoked. She fell
into a dreamy mood, playing softly in a
minor key, so softly that through the door
that stood ajar, she became aware of a
slight subdued tumult in the hall without,
to which she gave but a dreamy attention
at first.
The bell had pealed sharply, steps had
crossed the hall, the door had been opened,
and then had followed the tumultuous
sounds expressive of astonishment that
roused Monica from her dreamy reverie.
She supposed the party from St. Maws had
arrived somewhat before the expected
time, and rose, and had made a few steps
forward when she suddenly stopped short
and stood motionless—spell-bound—what
was it she had heard?—only the sound of
a voice—a man’s voice.
“Where is your mistress?”
The words were uttered in a clear,
deep, ringing tone, that seemed to her to
waken every echo in the castle into wild
surging life. The very air throbbed and
palpitated around her—her temples seemed
as if they would burst. What was the
meaning of that sound—that wild tumult
of voices? Why did she stand as if carved
in stone, growing white to the very lips,
whilst thrill upon thrill ran through her
frame, and her heart beat to suffocation?
What did it all portend? Whose was the
voice she had just heard—that voice from
the dead? Who was it that stood in the
hall without?
The door was flung open. A tall, dark
figure stood in the dim light.
“Monica!”
Monica neither spoke nor moved. The
cry of awe and of rapture that rose from her
heart could not find voice in which to utter
itself—but what matter? She was in her
husband’s arms. Her head lay upon his
breast. His lips were pressed to her cold
face in the kisses she had never thought
to feel again. Randolph had come back.
She could not speak. She had no will to
try and frame a single word. He held her
in his arms; he strained her ever closer and
closer. She felt the tumultuous beating of
his heart as she lay in his arms, powerless
to move or think. She heard his murmured
words, broken and hoarse with the
passionate feeling of that supreme moment.
“My wife! Monica! My wife!”
And then for a time she knew no more.
Sight and hearing alike failed her; it
seemed as if a slumber from heaven itself
sealed her eyes and stole away her senses.
When she came to herself she was on a
sofa in her own room, and Randolph was
kneeling beside her. She did not start to
see him there. For a moment it seemed as
if he had never left her. She smiled her
own sweet smile.
“Randolph! Have I been asleep—dreaming?”
He took her hands in his, and bent to
kiss her lips.
“It has been a long dream, my Monica,
and a dark one; but it is over at last.
My darling, my darling! God grant I
may not be dreaming now!”
She smiled like a tired child. She had a
perception that something overpoweringly
strange and sudden had happened, but she
did not want to rouse herself just yet to
think what it must all mean.
Two hours later, in the great drawing-room
ablaze with light, Monica and
Randolph stood together to welcome their
guests. She had laid aside her mournful
widow’s garb, and was arrayed in her
shimmering bridal robes. Ah, how lovely
she was in her husband’s eyes as she stood
beside him now! Perhaps never in all her
life had she looked more exquisitely fair.
Happiness had lighted her beautiful eyes,
and had brought the rose back to her pale
cheeks: she was glorified—transfigured—a
vision of radiant beauty.
He had changed but slightly during his
mysterious year of absence. There were a
few lines upon his face that had not been
there of old: he looked like a man who
had been through some ordeal, whether
mental or physical it would be less easy to
tell; but the same joy and rapture that
emanated, as it were, from Monica was
reflected in his face likewise, and only a
keen eye could read to-night the traces of
pain or of sorrow in that strong, proud,
manly countenance.
Monica looked at him suddenly, the flush
deepening in her cheeks.
“Hush! They are coming!” she said,
and waited breathlessly.
The door opened, admitting Mrs. Pendrill,
Beatrice, and Tom. There was a pause—a
brief, intense silence, during which the fall
of a pin might have been heard, and then,
with one long, low cry, half-sobbing, half-laughing,
Beatrice rushed across the room,
and flung herself upon Randolph.
Monica went straight up to Mrs. Pendrill,
and put her arms about her neck.
“Aunt Elizabeth, he has come home,”
she said, in a voice that shook a little with
the tumult of her happiness. “He has just
come home—this very day—Randolph—my
husband. Help me to believe it. You
must help me to bear this—as you helped
me to bear the other.”
Tom had by this time grasped Randolph
by the hand; but neither trusted his own
voice. They were glad that Beatrice
covered their silence by her incoherent
exclamations of rapture, and by the flow of
questions no one attempted to answer.
It was all too like a dream for anyone to
recollect very clearly what happened.
Raymond and Haddon came in almost
at once, new greetings had to be gone
through. How the dinner passed off that
night no one afterwards remembered.
There was a deep sense of thankfulness and
joy in every heart; yet of words there
were few. But when gathered round the
fire later on in the evening, when they had
grown used to the presence amongst them of
one whom they had mourned as dead for
more than a year, Randolph was called
upon to tell his tale, which was listened to
in breathless silence.
“I will tell you all I can about it; but
there are points yet where my memory
fails me, where I have but little idea what
happened. I have a dim recollection of
the night of the wreck, and of leaving
the boat; but I must have received a
heavy blow on the head, the doctors tell
me, and I suppose I sank, and the men
could not find me. But I was entangled, it
seems, in the rigging of a floating spar,
and must have been carried thus many
miles; for I was picked up by an ocean
steamer bound for Australia, which had
been driven somewhat out of its course by
the gale. It was not supposed that I could
live after so many hours’ exposure. I was
quite unconscious, and remained so for a
very long time. There was nothing upon
me by which I could be identified, and of
course I could give no account of myself.
On board the boat were a kind-hearted
wealthy Australian couple, who had lately
lost an only son, to whom they fancied I
bore some slight resemblance. Perhaps for
this cause, perhaps from true kindness of
heart, they at once took me under their
special care and protection. There was
plenty of space on board the vessel, and
they looked after me as if I had indeed
been their son. They would not hear of
my being left behind in hospital on the
way out. They took me under their protection
until I should be able to give an
account of myself.
“Of course I knew nothing about all
this. I was lying dangerously ill of brain
fever all the while, not knowing where I
was, or what was happening. When we
reached Melbourne at last, and I was conveyed
to their luxurious house on the outskirts
of the town, I was still in the same
state, relapse following relapse, every time
till I gained a little ground, till for months
my life was despaired of. I was either
raving in delirium, or lying in a sort of unconscious
stupor, and without all the skill
and care lavished upon me, I suppose I
must have died. But I did not die. Gradually,
very gradually, the fever abated,
and I began to come to myself: that is to
say, I began to know the faces around me
and to recognise my surroundings; but for
myself, I knew no more who I was, nor
whence I had come, than the infant just
born into the world. My memory had
gone, had been wiped clean away; I
had no idea of my own identity, no
recollection of the past. The very effort
to remember brought on such pain and
distress that I was imperatively commanded
to relinquish the attempt. Gradually
some things came back to my mind:
I could read, write, understand the foreign
tongues I had mastered, and the sciences I
had studied in past days. As my health
slowly improved this kind of knowledge
came back spontaneously and without
effort; but my personal history was as a
blank wall, against which I flung myself in
vain. It would yield to no efforts of mine.
Distressed and confused, I was obliged to
give up, and wait with what patience I
might for the realisation of the hope held
out cheerfully by the clever doctor who
attended me. He maintained that if I
would but have patience, some strong
association of ideas would some day bring
all back in a flash, and meantime all I had
to do was to get strong and well, so as to
be ready for action when that day should
come. I was restless sometimes, but less
so than one would fancy, for the blank was
too complete to be distressing. My good
friends and protectors were unspeakably
kind and good, and did everything in
their power to ensure my mental and
physical well-being; I recovered my
health rapidly, soon my memory was to
come back too.”
Randolph passed his hand across his
eyes. No one spoke, every eye was fixed
upon his face.
“It did so very strangely: it was one
hot afternoon in November—our summer,
you know”—he named the date and the
hour, and Monica heard it with a sudden
thrill. Allowing for the discrepancy of
time, it was during the moments that she
watched by Conrad Fitzgerald’s dying bed
that her husband’s memory was given back
to him.
“I was looking over some old English
newspapers, idly, purposelessly, when I
came upon a detailed account of the wreck,
and of my own supposed death. As I read—I
cannot describe what it was like—my
memory came back to me in a great
flood, like overwhelming waves. It seemed,
Monica, as if my spirit were carried on
wings to Trevlyn, as if I were hovering over
you in some mysterious way impossible to
describe. I called your name aloud. I knew
that I was close to you, at Trevlyn—it is
useless to attempt to define what I felt.
When I came to myself they told me I had
fainted; but that was not so. I had been
on a journey, that is all, and had returned.
My memory was restored from that hour,
clearly and distinctly; the doctor thought
there might be lapses, that I might never
be the same man again as I had been once;
but I have felt no ill effects since. Little
more remains to be told. My first instinct
was to telegraph; but not knowing what
had happened in my absence, knowing I
must long have been given up for lost, I
was afraid to do so, lest hopeless confusion
should result. Instead, I took the first
home-bound steamer, and reached London
late last night. I found out at the house
there where Monica was, and came on here
by the first train. I have come back home
to spend my Christmas with you.”
CHAPTER THE THIRTY-SECOND. THE LAST. — Transcriber's Notes
“Monica, I could not tell you last night—it
was all so sudden, so wonderful—but I
think you know, without any words of
mine, how glad, how thankful, I am.”
It was Haddon who spoke, spoke with a
glad, frank, joyous sincerity, that beamed
in his eye and sounded in every tone of his
voice. Monica gave him both her hands,
looking up into his face with her sweetest
smile.
“I know, Haddon; I know. I am sure of
it. Is he not almost a brother to you?—and
are you not the best of brothers to me?”
“At least I will try to be,” he answered
gladly. “I cannot tell you how happy this
has made me.”
She was glad, too: glad to see him so
happy, so heart-whole. He had loved her
with the loyal love of a devoted chivalrous
knight, had loved her for her sorrow and
her loneliness; but she was comforted
now, and he was able to rejoice with her.
It was all very good—just as she would
have it.
Ah! what a day of joy and thanksgiving
it was! How Monica’s heart beat as she knelt
by her husband’s side that glad Christmas
morning in the little cliff church, when, in
the pause just before the General Thanksgiving,
the grey-headed clergyman, with a
little quiver in his voice, announced that
Randolph Trevlyn desired to return thanks
to Almighty God for preservation from great
perils, and for restoration to his home.
Her voice faltered in the familiar words,
and many suppressed sobs were heard in
the little building, but they were sobs of
joy and gratitude, and tears of healing and
of happiness stole down Monica’s cheeks.
It was like some beautiful dream, and yet
too sweet not to be true.
In the afternoon Monica and Randolph
went out alone together; first into the
whispering pine woods, and then out upon
the breezy cliff, hard beneath their feet with
the winter’s frost.
He let her lead him whither she would.
He had no thought to spare for aught beside
herself. They were together once again.
What more could they need?
But Monica had an object in view; and
as they walked, engrossed in each other, in
sweet communion of soul and interchange
of thought, or the almost sweeter silence of
perfect peace and tranquillity, she led him
once more towards the little cliff church;
though only when she was unlatching the
gate to enter the quiet grave-yard did he
arouse to the sense of their surroundings.
“Why, Monica,” he said, “why have
you brought me here? We are too late
for service.”
“I know,” she answered; “but come. I
want to show you something.”
Her face wore an expression he did not
understand. He followed her in silence to
a secluded corner, where, beneath a dark
yew tree, stood a green mound, at the head
of which a wooden cross had been temporarily
erected.
Randolph read the letters it bore:
“C. F.,” followed by a date, and beneath,
the simple, familiar words—
“Requiescat in pace.”
Strange, perhaps, that Monica should
have cared for this lonely grave, in which
was laid to rest one who had, as she
believed, robbed her life of all its brightness
and joy. Strange that she, in the
absence of friend or kinsman, should
have charged herself with keeping it, and
of erecting there some monument to mark
who lay there low. Strange—yet so it was.
Her husband looked at her questioningly.
“Conrad’s grave—yes,” she answered
quietly. “Randolph, look at the date.”
He did so, and started a little.
“He died at dawn that day, Randolph.
You know what was happening then at the
other side of the world?”
There was a strange look of awe upon
her face as she spoke, which was reflected
in his also. She came and stood close
beside him.
“Randolph, do you know that he was
there—that night?—that he tried to kill
you?”
He had taken off his hat as he stood
beside the grave, with the instinctive reverence
for the dead—even though it be a
dead foe—characteristic of a noble mind.
Now he passed his hand across his brow
and through his thick dark hair.
“I thought that was a delusion of fever—a
sort of hideous vision founded on no
reality. Monica, was it so?”
“It was.”
“How do you know?”
“I had it from his own lips.”
He gazed at her without speaking;
something in her face awed and silenced him.
“Randolph, listen,” she said. “I must
tell you all. Six weeks ago, the evening
before that day, he was brought, shattered
and dying, to Trevlyn; he had fallen from
the cliffs, no skill could serve to prolong
his life. I knew nothing then—he was
profoundly unconscious, yet as the night
wore away some strange intuition came
upon me that he wanted me, that he was
beseeching me to come to him. I went—he
was still unconscious. I sent Wilberforce
away and watched by him myself.
Randolph, at dawn he awoke to consciousness—he
told me all his awful tale—he
said he had murdered you—I believed it
was true. He was dying—dying in darkness
and in dread, and he prayed for my
forgiveness as if his salvation hung upon
it. Randolph, Randolph, how can I tell
you?—I cannot, no I cannot—no one could
understand,” for a moment she pressed her
hand upon her eyes, looking up again in a
few seconds with a calm glance that was
like a smile. “He was dying, Randolph,
and I forgave him—I forgave him freely
and fully—and he died in peace. Stop,
that is not all. Randolph, as I knelt beside
his bed, praying for the sin-stained spirit
then taking its flight, I felt that you were
with me; I had never before felt the strange
overshadowing presence that I did then—you
were there, your own self. I heard
your voice far away, yet absolutely clear,
like a call from some distant, snow-clad
mountain-top, infinitely far—‘Monica!
Monica! My wife!’ I think Conrad
heard it too, for he died with a smile on
his lips. Randolph, I am sure that you
were with me in that strange, awful hour.
I knew it then—I know it better now.
Randolph, I think that love is stronger
than all else—time, space, death itself.
Nothing touched our love. I think it is
like eternity.”
A deep look of awe had stamped itself
upon Randolph’s face. He put his arm
round Monica, and for a very long while
they stood thus, neither attempting to
speak or to move.
At last he woke from his reverie, and
looked down at her with a strange light
shining in his eyes.
“And you forgave him, Monica?”
She looked up and met his gaze unfalteringly.
“I forgave him, Randolph; was I
wrong?”
He stooped and kissed her.
“My wife, I thank God that you did
forgive him. His life was full of sin and
sorrow—but at least its end was peace.
May God pardon him as you did—as I do.”
There was a strange sweet smile in her
eyes as she lifted them to his.
“Ah, Randolph!” she said softly, “I
knew you would understand. Oh, my
husband, my husband!”
He held her in his arms, and she looked
up at him with a sweet, tender smile.
Then her eyes wandered dreamily out over
the wide sea beneath them.
“There is nothing sad there now,
Randolph. It will never separate us
again.”
He looked down at her with a world of
love in his eyes; yet as they turned away
his glance rested for one moment upon the
lonely grave he had been brought to see,
and lifting his hat once more, he murmured
beneath his breath—“Requiescat in
pace.”
Then drawing his wife’s hand within his
arm, he led her homewards to Trevlyn,
whilst the sun set in a blaze of golden
glory over the boundless shining sea.