TWO HEARTS.
THE gathering at St. Clare Towers on the occasion of the house-warming
was a large one.
Philip Venn, entering the brilliantly-lighted rooms, was quite dazzled
with the scene. Everyone in the county was there. The St. Clares had
always been popular, and the absence of the young squire during the
past few years had been deeply regretted, though none were aware of the
cause.
"So glad that Mrs. St. Clare has come to her right senses," said a lady
to Philip presently. "My husband and I were afraid she would persuade
Mr. St. Clare to live abroad altogether. It is such a pity when these
country places remain closed nearly all the year round. Of course, I
know in this case Miss St. Clare had held the reins, but naturally she
has done no entertaining. Do you think that Mrs. St. Clare will be
induced to settle down to country life? She does not look restless by
nature."
"I think they have returned with the full intention of making this
their home," said Philip gravely.
His eyes rested on Norah, who in her white satin and diamonds looked
very queenly and sweet. She proved an admirable hostess; her husband's
eyes followed her with pride and pleasure wherever she went.
"I hear," Philip's companion went on, "that Miss St. Clare is going to
set up house for herself in this neighbourhood. People say it will be a
terrible wrench to her, but she does not seem to mind it. She spoke of
it to me just now with perfect indifference. I don't think I could do
it if I were she! After all these years! And such a beautiful old place
as it is. But I suppose she prefers to be her own mistress. I always
wonder she had never married. She used to be so good-looking."
Philip made no reply. His gaze wandered to where Mildred was seated.
She was in a blue-grey velvet gown, and had no ornaments save a
single row of pearls round her shapely white throat. She was talking
in her pleasant easy fashion to some of her old friends. "Used to be
good-looking!" To Philip's eyes there was no one in the room that could
compare with her!
He rose in a few minutes and made his way over to her.
She greeted him with a smile.
"But Mildred," a girl was saying, "you will be buried alive at Hawk's
Nest. It is such a poky little place. I know it well, for I so often
pass it out riding."
"Then I shall stand a chance of seeing you sometimes," replied Mildred.
"Will 'you' give a house-warming, Miss St. Clare?" asked a young man.
"Do, and invite me. I am dying to see this lonely spot."
"You won't be able to get six people comfortably into your
drawing-room," grumbled the girl. "I have been inside, so I know."
Philip marvelled at Mildred's cheerfulness and self-control. He knew
better than any other what a trial this evening gathering was to her.
Yet her spirits never flagged. Save for the tired lines about her eyes,
she was apparently enjoying herself quite as much as the youngest
amongst the party. Even when allusion was made to the beauty of the
hostess and her diamonds, she responded with pleasure, even warmth.
Towards the latter part of the evening, Philip found her at a window
alone.
"I came to wish you good-night," he said. "How well the evening has
passed off!"
"Yes."
She added after a moment's silence, "You did not expect to see me here?"
"You said you would not be."
"That was before Christmas. I thought better of it."
"I am glad for Percy's sake."
"Yes, I am glad too; but oh! I am thankful it is over. This will be my
last public appearance for many a long day, I hope."
"I do not see why it should be."
She smiled.
"I shall not be able to return hospitality. Perhaps you will say that
ought not to make any difference. But it does. You men are not troubled
with all the ins and outs of a woman's pride."
"When do you leave this?"
"In about a week's time."
"Then the next time I see you, you will be in your own cottage, I
expect. I am going up to London for a couple of weeks on business."
He bade her good-night.
And when left to herself, Mildred, looking up to the starry sky,
murmured under her breath, "The worst is over. After this night, all
will seem easy."
She had much to do and think of during the immediate days that
followed, and she was glad not to have much time for thought. If she
had any spare moments, they were generally spent in the nursery. Fluffy
was a never-ending source of amusement and interest to her aunt.
Norah left her to herself. The sisters-in-law were no longer on stiff,
formal terms with each other, but their intercourse was not quite free
from restraint. Mildred could never open her heart to any one. The
deeper she felt on any subject, the more silent she became when it
was touched upon. And those last days—the choosing out of her special
treasures and bits of china and furniture that had been her mother's,
the constant reference to her brother and his wife as to what she
might take and what she might not—were very trying ones to her. Norah
understood better than her husband how she felt, and she wisely kept
herself as much as possible in the background.
Mildred was again pacing the terrace walk. It was her last leave-taking
of her old home. She knew she would see it again; she would very often
be over, but it would be as a guest or visitor, never again as an
inmate. It was about four o'clock; the wintry sun was sending a few
golden gleams across the deer park, and even venturing to touch the old
lichen-covered wall in front of her. Mildred leant upon it with clasped
hands. Christmas had come and gone, but it had fulfilled its mission
to her. It had erased the lines of pride and self-will; it had brought
chastened sweetness to the face of the lonely woman.
"I think I am resigned," she was saying to herself, "almost content. If
I do leave a bit of my life behind in this dear old place, I can but do
the best with what I have. I suppose no cross is ever made too heavy
for the shoulders that have to bear it. If I feel the pressure of it at
first, I may get more used to it by-and-by."
She heard the carriage that was to take her away drive round to the
door, and laying her head for one moment against the grey stone
buttress near, a deep sob escaped her. Then, pulling down her veil, she
walked hastily indoors, and none but the grey stones knew of the tears
that had fallen on them.
"Good-bye, dear," said Norah cheerfully, as she with her husband stood
in the hall. "Here is Fluffy coming to see you off. Tell auntie we will
come over and see her very soon."
"And Fluffy will have a nice little bed to herself in Auntie Milly's
house," put in the little maiden, as she was taken into her auntie's
arms. "Fluffy will go and live with Auntie Milly when Nanna is cross."
"And what will father and mother do?" said Norah with a smile.
"Come too," lisped the child.
"I wish you would let me come with you, Mildred," said Percy, as he
helped his sister into the brougham and drew up the thick fur rug over
her feet.
She shook her head, kissed her brother affectionately, waved a farewell
to the graceful young wife with the child in her arms, and then sank
back in her cushioned seat in silence.
The carriage drove on through the village, past the little ivy-covered
church, and along the dusky country lanes.
Two sturdy tramps passed it on their way to the nearest town.
"It is such folks as those," said one bitterly, "that make all the
poverty in the world. Why should she have such comfort and happiness,
and we poor creatures none at all?"
"Ah, well, their reckonin' will come in another world," was the
response of his companion. "Then we shall be in our carriages enjoyin'
of ourselves to the full, and they be made to taste what trouble is!"
That drive seemed the longest to Mildred that she had ever taken. Her
thoughts were hardly good company, but there was no bitterness in them,
only the inevitable sadness that must come when one has been uprooted
from a soil so dear to one. When she crossed the threshold of her new
home, she faced it frankly and cheerfully.
She had determined to adapt herself to her altered circumstances, and
let no regret or longing for the past spoil her present happiness.
And the Hawk's Nest looked very cheerful that night. An elderly maid
who had long been in the family had come with her mistress. A village
boy, one of Mildred's Sunday-school scholars, was installed as gardener
and general help. The little dining-room, with its blazing fire and
table ready laid for dinner, with the finest damask, choice old silver,
and beautiful hothouse flowers, was a cosy picture for the eyes to rest
on.
Upstairs, her bedroom, though small, had every appearance of comfort.
A bright fire, chintz-covered couch, pretty writing table, and all her
own belongings could not fail to please her. Mildred wandered in and
out, feeling the restfulness of it all, and trying to believe that the
time would come when it would be like home to her.
As the days passed, she saw several of her old friends, and, being a
woman of many resources, she was astonished to find how little lonely
she felt. Her brother came over about a week after she had settled in,
and surprised her by presenting her with a small trap and pony. She
took it, thankfully from him, and was able in consequence to visit all
the villagers as of old.
She had her days of depression and gloom, but she fought bravely
against them. Occupation was her recipe for banishing sad thoughts, and
if she were restless and too energetic at times, her old servant would
mutter to herself:
"Better wear herself a bit than sit mourning, doing nothing."
It was a wild, wet afternoon in March.
Mildred was in her drawing-room in one of these restless moods of hers.
She had taken up a book for half an hour, and had thrown it down in
a fit of disgust; she had rearranged her flowers, finished a pair of
socks she was knitting for a cripple child, gone out in the wind and
rain for a short constitutional, and now was back again pacing her tiny
room as she had been wont to do the terrace walk at home.
Her windows faced south, over a bit of wild moor and upland, with
blue lines of hills on the horizon. The yellow gorse on the moor was
a delight to her eyes. She knew that later on purple heather would
mingle with it, and great patches of green bracken. Now it was almost
enveloped in a driving mist. The landscape was dreary.
"I must do something," she said to herself. "I think I shall take to
letter-writing as a solace."
She was turning to her davenport when a knock at the door startled her.
A moment after, Philip Venn was in the room.
"What a day for you to be out!" she said, giving him her hand. "You
must be wet through."
"I have sent my horse to the stable, and given my mackintosh into
Janet's hands. I am accustomed to being out in wild weather."
He sat down and looked about him. It was his first visit since she had
settled in; for his stay in London was longer than he anticipated, and
though he had called twice, each time she had been out.
"You couldn't have chosen a better day, as far as I am concerned,"
Mildred said pleasantly. "I was feeling the burden of my own
personality. Do you ever long to get away from yourself, and all your
feelings and fancies?"
"I think I have had that experience," he replied, a far-away look
coming into his eyes. "The only cure for it is work and interest in
others. How are you getting on here? You look very comfortable."
"So I am. I feel a little cramped at times, but I shall get accustomed
to it."
A light came into his face as he looked at her.
"I knew you could adapt yourself to any surroundings," he said.
She looked up at him with rather a sad expression. "I find it very
difficult."
"But you are not regretting the step you have taken?"
"Oh no. I dare say I shall find one day that it was the very best thing
for me."
Phil got up from his seat and walked to the window. Then he came back
to the fireplace.
"I have come here with a purpose to-day," he announced. "I was glad
that it was so stormy, for I did not want to miss you again; and I have
something I want to tell you."
"Something is troubling you I can see," said Mildred with the
privileged assurance of an old friend. "Take me into your confidence. I
may be able to advise you."
"May I tell you my trouble? It is a very, very old one."
Something in his tone brought a wondering look into Mildred's eyes.
He sat down in a chair opposite her, by the side of the bright little
fire that was burning. He gazed into the red-hot coals, and spoke in
slow, even tones, as if he wished to weigh every sentence he uttered.
"Long years ago I gave my heart's love to a girl. I did not realise
then that there would be any obstacles in the way of our union, except
perhaps that of youth. I waited, and then when everything seemed most
propitious, and I was about to put my fate to the touch, something
happened which put an end to it for ever."
"She would not listen to you?" questioned Mildred sympathetically, and
she wondered who this nameless girl was. She knew now why he had never
married.
"I never spoke to her," Philip went on quickly, "and I was glad
afterwards that I did not. I could not have offered her what she
required, and so I tried to erase her image from my heart."
"And then, I suppose, she married someone else?"
"No; she lived her life, and I lived mine. My feelings never altered,
but I gradually became reconciled to the gulf of separation between us.
I was content to see her and speak to her as friend to friend."
A slow, deep colour was rising in Mildred's cheeks. Her pulses
quickened, and her hands trembled slightly as they lay crossed in her
lap.
Philip never raised his eyes from the fire. He did not see the glowing
light and colour creeping into the woman's face opposite him.
"And then," he continued, "one day there was another upheaval, and
this time it was the one I loved that was experiencing it. And a wild
hope sprang up in my breast that perhaps now after these long years of
waiting and silence I might speak."
There was a pause. Neither moved.
"I long to take her and shield her from loneliness and grief. But who
am I that I should dare to think my love will compensate for all that
she has lost? Shall I, can I tell her of my love?"
Another long silence.
Then Mildred spoke; her voice was low and broken.
"Do money, luxury, and comfort ever bring ease to an empty, aching
heart?"
Philip's eyes were no longer on the fire; they were fixed with eager
expectancy on the one face in all the world to him.
In another moment, his strong arm was round her.
"Oh, Mildred! Will my love content you? My heart has been yours for
nearly twenty years. I should never have spoken as long as you had your
home, but now I cannot help hoping you will come to me."
"I would have come to you," she whispered, "twenty years ago."
Then a little later she said:
"Let me tell you of the girl's side, Philip. How bitter her heartache
was when she felt that she had given her young love to one who could
not return it! How long the years were, how hard the way, till she,
like he, had learnt to be content with her single lot, and to count
herself happy to have his friendship still!"
The March winds still blew, the rain dashed against the windows, and
outside the scene was still wild and dreary. But love had coloured two
grey lives, and brought warmth and unspeakable gladness into two lonely
souls. And adversity was the hand that had linked the two together.
Philip went, and Mildred with a full heart sat musing by her fire.
"My cross that I thought so heavy," she murmured, "has brought me
heavenly peace and earthly blessing."
Still she sat on dreaming, then suddenly rose and went to her bookcase
to look for a book. She brought it to the fireside, and, turning over
the leaves, found what she wanted.
"A gloomy cross stood on the path I trod;
I needs must lift it, would I onward go.
On it was written clear, 'The Will of God,'
Gazing I wept and trembled, bending low.
"For much I dreaded what might be behind,
Till Faith came forward with her words of cheer:
'Why weepest thou, O thou of doubtful mind?
Arise and take thy cross! What dost thou fear?'
"She raised me up and pointed, when behold
The cross that terrified had passed away;
And there, with 'Love' inscribed in burnished gold,
Another stood, which shone resplendently.
"Awhile I carried it; with wondering awe
Its glory shone, a light upon my road;
Till, looking at the other side, I saw
The words which I had feared—'The Will of God.'
"I looked at Faith; she smiled—'I did but move
The cross around and show the other name.
Behind the Will there always lies the Love;
The Will and Love with God are but the same.'"
MISS ELIZA'S GREAT-COAT.