BY
W. SCOTT PALMER
(M. E. DOWSON)
45
Michael Fairless was an artist, with
the artist’s longing for creative expression.
But while she was able to move
about among her fellows her imaginative
force, together with such strength of
body as she had and her fine intellectual
endowment, was spent on their
behalf. She gave herself without stint
and, it appeared, without regret for much
that must consequently stand aside.
Men and their miseries, their poverty,
pleasures, joys and pain, seemed to take
the place for her of the artist’s material
in language or clay or colour. The
46material she chose was life, life in all
its crudity or evasiveness, its stubborn
resistance, forbidding weakness, its failures
and faults; and with the far-reaching
promise upon which only faith as
strong as hers can keep a constant hold.
In each man she saw, through disfigurement
and disguise, his proper reflexion
of the divine image, as a sculptor sees
in the block of marble the one beauty
that he is to set free.
There were times when I thought this
passion of hers would always be enough.
I thought the fountain of charity in her
heart would never allow her artistic
longings to be carried into any field but
that of life. When the claims of human
needs and suffering for the moment
slackened, I saw that there was always
the attraction of a perennial love and
carefulness for every creature of the
earth, even the very lowest. From the
blade of grass and the clod on which it
47grew, to every beast and bird, all things
entered her soul to become her own, to
become centres of the active, self-devoted
interest that one gives only to one’s own.
I might well think that she would live
and die without any disturbing recognition
of another longing unfulfilled. Moreover,
her enjoyment of the creative
work of others was never tainted by
self-pity, or by that base alloy of envy
which kills delight in many of us, whose
gifts and executive powers are far inferior
to hers. It seemed reasonable to
think that her love of beauty would
be satisfied with what her indomitable
eagerness and energy enabled her to
absorb from literature, painting and
sculpture, from music and, above all,
from the symbolism of religion in its
poetry of psalm and stately hymn, and
in those lovely myths with which the
childlike heart of man has clothed his
intuitions of divine things. But I was
48wrong. The impulse to create, though
often overborne, was very masterful.
Out of that impulse sprang the crucifix
now in St John Baptist’s church in
London (Pimlico Road). In this she
shewed a promise of what might have
been had she been trained and practised
in a plastic art. But I am sure, nevertheless,
that nothing short of inability
to go out into the highways of life, to
seek and find, or at the least to be sought
and found by, troubled men and women,
would have turned her finally to any
engrossing work other than that which
she could do for them.
Twenty months before she died the
opportunity came—as mortal sickness.
To most of us it would hardly have
been an opportunity. Among our writers
only a few unconquerable spirits, of
whom Robert Louis Stevenson perhaps
is chief, have been able to overcome
49flesh and its hindrances by the governance
of the soul, when the weight of
Death’s heavy hand has been laid upon
them. For men of this rank, life, when
it meets new difficulty in a body nearing
to the grave, rises against that difficulty
in a fresh uplifting of power. The men
themselves are carried beyond the atmosphere
of oppression caused by the
disabilities of mortal sickness; and
we watch them working miracles, as
though these were trifles light as air.
Of that rare company was Michael
Fairless. But she knew when and how
she was beaten; for there is another
thing to be noted of that company—an
illuminated common sense. They work
miracles, it is true; but they are not
often found trying impossibilities. Their
faith is potent, but it is neither superstitious
nor absurd. Behind what looks
to many of us a reckless venture and
a foolish hope it seems that there is, in
50reality, something which takes the place
of a prudent man’s prudent calculation.
It seems that where other men must
calculate they see—yet without knowing
that they see. They know what they
can and what they cannot do; but it is
as though by a concealed interior vision,
not by mere guess, that they make discoveries.
Their decisions are, for the
most part, not to be justified by the
maxims and habits of ordinary usage in
life, yet are very often crowned with
good success and are richly productive
as ordinary ways are not. They have,
as I said, their common sense.
So, when Michael Fairless met defeat,
she laid down her arms, the wonted
weapons of her charity, but took up
others. And with these she made a
way, not only to hearts beyond any
range of hers before, but also for her
artist-soul, frustrate in the years gone
by. We who looked on thought that
51but for the help she could give to
friends able to come to her bedside,
most likely she would do nothing more.
Again we were wrong.
We took her away from London to the
Down country that she loved, hoping
for some recovery—against hope and
against her own conviction. There, in
her ‘cool light room on the garden
level’ with windows opening to the
ground, day after day she looked ‘across
the bright grass—il verde smalto—’
and beyond ‘the promise of coming
lilies,’ to the Gate of her symbolic
fancy:—‘I know now,’ she says in
“The Roadmender,” ‘that whenever and
wherever I die my soul will pass out
through this white gate.’
There, beside the gate, the roadmender
was born. I suppose he was fully grown
in the spirit of her meditation before she
spoke of him. Certainly it was her own
52soul, mind, heart, and life’s experience
that he embodied. He was conceived
of her, bone of her bone, spirit of her
spirit. Who knows him knows her;
in following his life and death we follow
hers. His realized ideal is hers that
was unrealized. But indeed in him
she touched realization. ‘I am a roadmender,’
she said to me, ‘there, by the
white gate.’ As in all true artists, life
passed from her into her creation, virtue
went forth from her, and she with
virtue: she was that roadmender.
I think she would have been content
with giving him life thus, within her
own artistic cognizance, but for another
thing. She wanted to earn money, little
or much; had a hundred uses for it;
saw that perhaps some would come into
her hands this way. So she demanded
of me pencil and paper, and wrote
down (with her left hand, the right being
disabled; and without being lifted up
53in bed) the first chapter of ‘The Roadmender.’
She wrote easily, it appeared,
and as well and clearly, almost as quickly,
as before this last disabling sickness. She
hardly ever paused for thought or word,
and made small correction. To the
best of my present memory the second
chapter was written next day and with
the same swift facility.
Neither of these, nor any that followed,
was thought of by her (or for that matter
by me) as a chapter; each was no more
than a sketch, a little paper telling of
the roadmender she was. Not until
much later, in fact just before the end,
did it occur to either of us that she had
been writing a book.
We sent those sketches, the first and
second, to Mr Lathbury, the editor of
The Pilot, who accepted them with
encouraging, and to her surprising, readiness.
They were published; and from
that time to this their readers, in a fast
54increasing number, have asked for news,
facts, about the writer. Unquestionably
The Roadmender’s appeal, whatever it
was, went home there and then and has
never ceased to find response. But
this is not the place in which that
appeal should be discussed; it shall be
dealt with later. Here I only allude to
it in passing, as a significant piece of
the short history of an all too short
literary life.
For anyone who knew the previous
life of the author, the fitness of her
roadmender to present herself and her
ideals was obvious. ‘After all,’ he says
for her in that opening chapter, ‘what
do we ask of life, here or indeed hereafter,
but leave to serve, to live, to
commune with our fellow-men and
with ourselves; and from the lap of
earth to look up into the face of God?’
That aspiration to service and communion
55had been in her no affair of mere
aspiration; it had been a burning force,
not a quietistic scheme. Yet always her
heart and soul rested gladly in ‘the
lap of earth’; and she turned her face
towards the face of God as she discerned
that vision everywhere, in earth and
earth’s little ones, and in the face of
man. But a new peacefulness came
with the laying down of arms, and she
could picture herself quietly at work on
the common road, serving ‘the footsteps
of her fellows’; indeed joining with
contentment ‘the company of weary old
men who sit on the sunny side of the
workhouse wall and wait for the tender
mercies of God.’
Death it is that in truth she waits
for in the pages of ‘The Roadmender.’
You will find death everywhere, a friend,
a ‘strong angel’ and, as here, ‘the
tender mercies of God.’ The road, too,
although the common road of service
56and of the common labour of man, is the
one that leads into the great silence;
the mysteries of God and man cast
shadows in the sunshine of its ‘white
highway.’ This is the background, or
the chorus if you will, even of the first
part of the book, where she is giving a
picture of the man and herself, and
furnishing his experience from her own
experience in past days. There is the
snake, bringing in Melampus and the
revealing of secrets by the fatal kiss;
there is the old widow, waiting, as she
herself was waiting, for death and a
‘“kind” burial’ in ‘the little churchyard
which has been a cornfield, and
may some day be one again.’ The sea
brings memories of ‘its secret dead in
the caverns of Peace,’ and of ‘the still
and silent Sea of Glass’ and ‘the Voice
as the voice of many waters.’ But
withal there is love, the constant love
of earth’s fair face, and its living adornment;
57the love for which she thanks
God as ‘the Brotherhood of the
Poor’; even the bitter-sweet love
of death itself:—‘Very pleasant art
thou, O Brother Death, thy love
is wonderful, passing the love of
women.’
‘“Surely all men should be roadmenders,”’
the parson says. ‘O wise
parson, so to read the lesson of the
road!’ That is her heart-felt comment.
The first part of the book ended with
the ending of autumn, when we brought
her back to London—to our house,
91 Cheyne Walk. She was borne to the
station on a mattress laid in the bottom
of a covered cart, the tilt thrown open
at the back. As the cart went on, she
watched through this opening, the receding
lane—‘lay as in a blissful dream,’
she says. ‘The looped-back tarpaulin
framed the long vista of my road with
58the downs beyond; and I lay in the
cool dark, caressed by the fresh breeze
in its thoroughfare, soothed by the
strong monotonous tramp of the great
grey team and the music of the jangling
harness.’ ‘It is like Life,’ she goes on,
‘this travelling backwards—that which
has been, alone visible—like Life,
which is, after all, retrospective with a
steady moving on into the Unknown,
Unseen, until Faith is lost in Sight
and experience is no longer the touchstone
of humanity.’
I believe she thought, then, that she
would never come back to her road,
to the green fields she loved so well,
the garden that was ‘an epitome of
peace,’ the sycamore-tree that made a
microcosmic world for her as she lay
beneath it, caressed by the sunlight
scattered through its leaves. She
thought, I believe, that Brother Death
would meet her among the close-set
59houses of the town, while she lay isolated
in the great city. So she said farewell,
not only with the roadmender to roadmending,
but to the country of her
love. Yet she says it with a characteristic
qualifying:—‘It is scarcely a
farewell, for my road is ubiquitous,
eternal; there are green ways in Paradise
and golden streets in the beautiful
City of God. Nevertheless, my heart
is heavy; for, viewed by the light of
the waning year, roadmending seems a
great and wonderful work which I have
poorly conceived of and meanly performed:
yet I have learnt to understand
dimly the truth of three great
paradoxes—the blessing of a curse, the
voice of silence, the companionship
of solitude—and so take my leave of
this stretch of road, and of you who
have fared along the white highway
through the medium of a printed
page.
60‘Farewell! It is a roadmender’s
word; I cry you Godspeed to the next
milestone—and beyond.’ In her mind,
I am sure, these words were the last she
was to write.
The roadmender, however, had become
part of herself, and as her life
went on so he in her went on. But
we cease to watch the moving picture
of a fictitious experience at the roadside
where men and the sacrificial beasts—the
procession of a common life—went
by. We are embarked upon the swiftly
flowing river of her own life, as it
passes to the sea. Henceforth the author
speaks of herself almost undisguised;
she is still the roadmender, but he
lives, moves towards his death, rejoices,
suffers, contemplates, reflects, as she does,
61in the actual process of her being. What
happens happens here and now—this is
a day-book we are reading, very faithful,
very candid, and only the more pathetic
to us when we know it as it really is.
‘The next milestone’ marked for her
the entrance to the valley of the shadow
of death. She knew that still the days
might but slowly drag out their tale,
and she be long, yet, in passing through;
she was assured now, and not only by
her own conviction, that never would
she pass from beneath that shadow until
the gate of earth closed behind her, and
she found herself in some such ‘brave
new world’ as she had seen before in
dream or vision, where the inner world
of spirit, of the joy and light and hope
in which her spirit dwelt while she was
here, would show itself more plainly,
less confused.
‘Out of the Shadow’ the new set of
papers came, and thus they were headed
62when she wrote the first. ‘I am no longer
a roadmender,’ she says; ‘the stretch
of white highway which leads to the
end of the world will know me no more;
the fields and hedgerows, grass and
leaf stiff with the crisp rime of winter’s
breath, lie beyond my horizon; the
ewes in the folding, their mysterious eyes
quick with the consciousness of coming
motherhood, answer another’s voice
and hand; while I lie here, not in the
lonely companionship of my expectations,
but where the shadow is bright
with kindly faces and gentle hands,
until one kinder and gentler still carries
me down the stairway into the larger
room.’
There, in an old house fronting the
Thames, she watched from her bed no
longer the green grass, the meadows and
the white gate with the roadmender’s
road, but the highway of water, ‘the
silent river of my heart’ she calls
63it, ‘with its tale of wonder and
years.’
Her love of roads and of running water
is significant for the understanding of
her character and mind. She is of those
for whom life is movement, and time is
real.
Nothing for her stands still, is fixed—static,
as we say now; the whole
creation moves with the movement and
communicated freedom of the purposes
of God, and with the outpouring of the
divine spirit in the spirits of men. Even
in the flux of earth she sees the flowing
of the great rivers of the heavenly love;
and all earth’s roads and streams are
but ways of that eternal journey of man,
of which his temporal journeys are at
once the cloak and sacrament.
As she looks upon the landscape of the
world it grows transparent for her, and
paradise, with its lucent life and many-coloured
waters, shines through. The
64life of the spirit is more real to her than
any life beside, more real, more powerful,
constraining. When she writes of little
things you see that for her there are no
little things; each touches the eternal
and has its endless depth of meaning
there. And because there is this endless
meaning, this unfathomed background,
this movement of all within the
movement that is carrying all, roads
have magic in her eyes—or rather are
symbols of a more than magical truth.
She watches the multitude travelling
there along the ages in the pilgrimage
of life that every man must share. No
event, no spectacle in earth or heaven
stands alone; she has the mystic’s
sense of wholeness and continuity, as of
the dark impenetrable wonders underlying
everything that can be seen even
by the mystic’s eye. Therefore, that
which is seen signifies, carries with it,
all the rest; every road ‘leads to the
65end of the world,’ every river has ‘its
tale of wonder and years’ and flows
into the sea where its waters shall be
transformed.
She tells us that to meet death in the
town was not what she had desired.
‘I, a shy lover of the fields and woods,
longed always, should a painless passing
be vouchsafed me, to make my bed
on the fragrant pine needles in the
aloneness of a great forest; to lie once
again as I had lain many a time,
bathed in the bitter sweetness of the
sun-blessed pines, lapped in the manifold
silence; my ear attuned to the
wind of Heaven with its call from the
Cities of Peace. In sterner mood, when
Love’s hand held a scourge, I craved
rather the stress of the moorland with
its bleaker mind imperative of sacrifice.
To rest again under the lee of Rippon
Tor, swept by the strong peat-smelling
66breeze; to stare untired at the long
cloud-shadowed reaches, and watch the
mist-wraiths huddle and shrink round
the stones of blood; until my sacrifice
too was accomplished, and my soul had
fled. A wild waste moor; a vast void
sky; and naught between heaven and
earth but man, his sin-glazed eyes
seeking afar the distant light of his
own heart.’
But these moods had passed, and
although the scourge Love held now in
his hand was heavy and the sacrifice long
of its accomplishment, she was, as she
says, content to lie patiently in the great
capital, with its stir of life and death, of
toil and strife and pleasure, which she
had thought ‘an ill place for a sick man
to wait in’; and there find ‘the fulfilment
by antithesis of all desire.’ ‘“It is
not good that the man should be alone,”
said the Lord God.’
Day and night she follows the great
67barges on the waterway, as she followed
in her mind the coming and going on the
road near her white gate. ‘Throughout
the long watches of the night I follow
them; and in the early morning they
slide by, their eyes pale in the twilight;
while the stars flicker and fade, and the
gas lamps die down into a dull yellow
blotch against the glory and glow of a
new day.’ ‘It is like Life,’ she would
have said again had you asked her; but
she tells you nothing of her weariness in
those night-watches nor of her pain.
On the wooden cross that marks her
grave there are these words: ‘Lo, how
I loved thee!’ They are taken from
her last gift to me, Mother Julian’s
‘Revelations of Divine Love.’
In the groaning and travailing of
creation she bore her part, but never
alone; always God was there bearing
his part and the part of every one.
68Across the whole world there lay for her
the light of the glory of divine sacrifice.
Not for her was any picture of a serene
and far-away God without ‘parts or
passions,’ looking on at the world’s
pain; it was the glory of her God to
share all pain. There was nothing, no
weariness of hers or any man’s, no
suffering, even of the beasts, that was
not his. And faith in God gave her also
faith in suffering, in the value of a sacrifice
to be accomplished, of a travail that
should bring forth fruit to all eternity,
of groaning that was the utterance of
slaves working towards their manumission
and the freedom of divine sons.
‘Lo, how I loved thee!’ All men shall
hear this when their own sacrifice is
indeed accomplished, and their ‘sin-glazed
eyes’ open to see who it is that
has sacrificed himself in them. This was
her strength.
Why, then, should she tell us of the
69suffering she bore, as she went through
the valley of the shadow comforted in
the strength of the divine Companion
of her way, the Love that so loved her
and all the world?
It is fitting that she writes here the
story of Gawdine, the organ-grinder whom
it was once her ‘privilege to know’; it
is fitting that I repeat it now.
‘He was a hard swearer, a hard drinker,
a hard liver, and he fortified himself
body and soul against the world: he
even drank alone, which is an evil
sign.’
‘One day to Gawdine sober came a
little dirty child, who clung to his
empty trouser leg—he had lost a limb
years before—with a persistent unintelligible
request. He shook the little
chap off with a blow and a curse; and
the child was trotting dismally away,
when it suddenly turned, ran back,
70and held up a dirty face for a
kiss.
‘Two days later Gawdine fell under a
passing dray which inflicted terrible
internal injuries on him. They patched
him up in hospital, and he went back
to his organ-grinding, taking with him
two friends—a pain which fell suddenly
upon him to rack and rend with an
anguish of crucifixion, and the memory
of a child’s upturned face. Outwardly
he was the same save that he changed
the tunes of his organ, out of long-hoarded
savings, for the jigs and reels
which children hold dear, and stood
patiently playing them in child-crowded
alleys, where pennies are not as plentiful
as elsewhere.
‘He continued to drink; it did not
come within his new code to stop, since
he could “carry his liquor well”;
but he rarely, if ever, swore. He told
me this tale through the throes of his
71anguish as he lay crouched on a mattress
on the floor; and as the grip of the pain
took him he tore and bit at his hands
until they were maimed and bleeding, to
keep the ready curses off his lips.
‘He told the story, but he gave no
reason, offered no explanation: he has
been dead now many a year, and thus
would I write his epitaph:—
‘He saw the face of a little child, and looked on God.’
Love the supreme Sculptor at work on
Gawdine, as on herself in her weariness
and pain, at work too on the welter of
all this world, calling forth from the
rudest marble the divine Beauty that
love is—this she sees. Love, too,
looking from the face of a child and
searching out his own image, his own
response, from behind the battered mask
that hides it from every other eye. And
pain, the friend of sinners, the opportunity
72of love human and divine, love
no less divine in that it has entered into
man—this, too.
The whole philosophy to which
Michael Fairless had attained is written
in the true tale of Gawdine; a living,
vibrant philosophy it was, entering into
herself, her action, her judgements
whether of reflective thought or of
intuitive discovery.
It is not her way to see in an ill-driven
dray the miraculous handiwork of God
or a punishment for sin. “All things,”
she would have told us, as she tells us
here, “work together for good” in those
who do not resist good when it comes.
The dray and the face of the child are
for her instruments and channels of God;
yet neither is constrained, compelled—each
is free according to its measure,
each follows the law of its own being.
So both are sacraments of the universal
sacrament in which our lives are set
73and, according to their different measure,
become mediators of the divine. The
opportunity for both God and man is to
be found everywhere by those who are
willing to receive a gift; in pain or
pleasure, riches or poverty, good hap or
disaster. You have not to go in search
of it; but neither must you turn away,
or deny it even when it comes as the
bitterest drop in the cup that you must
drink. ‘Two friends—an anguish of
crucifixion, and the memory of a child’s
upturned face.’
One thing more this story brings out—a
conviction which establishes for her,
once for all, that without the law there
is no sin. A new law is born in Gawdine
telling him, through the wound he gives
to a little child, that he must ‘keep the
ready curses off his lips.’ But he could
“carry his liquor well,” he was still
guiltless of offence in that, still waiting
74for a new law concerning that. And
his judges must wait too.
This is of her abiding sense of movement
in every man’s life—a movement
that gathers as it goes, and in which the
man changes, not as a dead thing, a
tool, or toy, is changed, but by a free
and living creation, in which nothing is
made actual and real that does not spring
from the creative heart of his own character.
You do not make a character
as you build a house, laying one stone
upon another; nor do you alter it as
you might alter a house, pulling out
these stones, and putting others in. It
grows by inherent power, assimilating,
rejecting, amplifying or transmuting, as
though that which comes to it were food,
which indeed it is—food from heaven or
from hell. And every particle of this
food that is truly incorporated in the
man’s life goes to change character
through and through, may be trusted
75to do it. Therefore, behind laws outworn
and habits that should be outgrown,
the charity that believes all
things and hopes all things discovers
the man as he really is, with promise of
the man that he will be. Therefore, too,
it is a charity that works for men in the
light of knowledge of the men, and works
wonders—as did Michael Fairless by its
means. She says of the thirteenth century
bishop about whom she writes a
little later, that ‘he has known darkness
and light and the minds of many men;
most surely, too, he has known that God
fulfils Himself in strange ways.’ We
may say the same of her, for she never
forgot the ‘strange ways’ of God with
men.
Winter drew towards its end, and she
still lived to enjoy once more winter’s
promise of the spring and the memories
alive in her of springs gone by. ‘On
76Sunday,’ she writes, ‘my little tree’
[the tree outside her window-panes]
‘was limned in white and the sparrows
were craving shelter at my window
from the blizzard. Now the mild thin
air brings a breath of spring in its wake
and the daffodils in the garden wait
the kisses of the sun. Hand-in-hand
with memory I slip away down the
years, and remember a day when I
awoke at earliest dawn, for across my
sleep I had heard the lusty golden-throated
trumpeters heralding the
spring.’
Verily I believe she had heard those
golden-throated trumpeters, for the
blood of the plants ran in her veins, as
did the blood of beasts and birds, and
of all the common life. She was of the
community of earth and nothing could
ever set her apart. ‘The earth called,’
she says, ‘the fields called, the river
called—that pied piper to whose
77music a man cannot stop his ears. It
was with me as with the Canterbury
pilgrims:—
‘“So priketh hem nature in hir corages;
Than longen folk to gon on pilgrimages.”’
In memory she sped on, ‘light of heart
and foot with the new wine of the year,’
until she heard ‘the voice of the stream,’
as with her body’s ears, and as with
her body’s eyes saw spring’s pageant;
‘green pennons waving, dainty maids
curtseying, and a host of joyous yellow
trumpeters proclaiming “Victory” to
an awakened earth.’
Then—so like her—she notes the
solitary flower, one growing apart close
to the old tree’s side. ‘I sat down by
my lonely little sister, blue sky overhead,
green grass at my feet, decked,
like the pastures of the Blessèd, in
glorious sheen; a sea of triumphant
golden heads tossing blithely back as
78the wind swept down to play with them
at his pleasure.’
‘It was all mine,’ she says, from one
of her deepest convictions, ‘to have and
to hold without severing a single slender
stem or harbouring a thought of
covetousness; mine, as the whole
earth was mine, to appropriate to myself
without the burden and bane of
worldly possession.’
‘The river of God is full of water.
The streets of the City are pure gold.
Verily, here also having nothing we
possess all things.’
Thus she comes back to her sick-room
in the dreadful yet beautiful city of
earth, possessing ‘all things.’
The gulls from the river sought the
open sea; ‘the swoop and circle of
silver wings in the sunlight’ was for
her to be no more; and with her heart
79she followed them ‘to the free airs of
their inheritance, to the shadow of sun-swept
cliffs and the curling crest of the
wind-beaten waves.’
The little lime-tree before her window
spoke to her of the green country—was
‘gemmed with buds, shy, immature, but
full of promise.’ With the glory of
that promise her desire went forth, but
upborne by another promise—that of
the greater spring for which her spirit
waited looked and longed from the
valley of the shadow. Of that she
writes in the last chapter of this part,
as the coming of a new life and a new
light.
‘The dawn breaks, but it does not
surprise us, for we have watched from
the valley and seen the pale twilight.
Through the wondrous Sabbath of
faithful souls, the long day of rosemary
and rue, the light brightens in the
East; and we pass on towards it with
80quiet feet and opening eyes, bearing
with us all of the redeemed earth that
we have made our own, until we are
fulfilled in the sunrise of the great
Easter Day, and the peoples come from
north and south and east and west to
the City which lieth foursquare—the
Beatific Vision of God.’
Then her heart sings with one of the
old hymns that she delighted in:—
Vere Ierusalem est illa civitas
Cuius pax iugis et summa ucunditas;
Ubi non prœvenit rem desiderium,
Nec desiderio minus est prœmium.
Great indeed is the reward that could
match with the desire of her soul, with
its need and its capacity; yet having
nothing she possessed all things even
here, and I do not doubt that she does
so still.
81
Spring came, and in May she bade her
last farewell to London. With infinite
difficulty, and at the cost of an unforeseen
agony of pain, we took her once
more into the country, where she could
see the white gate again from her garden
room, and sometimes, on good days—more
rarely than we hoped—be carried
out to lie ‘on a green carpet, powdered
yellow and white with the sun’s own
flowers; overhead a great sycamore
where the bees toil and sing; and sighing
shimmering poplars golden grey
against the blue.’ There, at the White
Gate, she wrote the last chapters of
‘The Roadmender,’ beginning, if I
remember well, in June.
‘A great joy has come to me’; she
says, in the first of those papers, ‘one
of those unexpected gifts which life
82loves to bestow after we have learnt
to loose our grip of her. I am back in
my own place very near my road—the
white gate lies within my distant
vision; near the lean grey Downs
which keep watch and ward between
the country and the sea; very near,
nay, in the lap of Mother Earth.’...
‘The day of Persephone has dawned for
me, and I, set free like Demeter’s child,
gladden my eyes with this foretaste of
coming radiance, and rest my tired
sense with the scent and sound of home.
Away down the meadow I hear the
early scythe song, and the warm air is
fragrant with the fallen grass. It has
its own message for me as I lie here,
I who have obtained yet one more
mercy, and the burden of it is life,
not death.’
Then the roadmender must be himself
again and go a-haymaking in another
reminiscence, one that tells her a secret
83of the ‘rain upon the mown grass’ and
the ‘failure’ of the fallen swathes.
“My ways are not your ways, saith the
Lord.” ‘I remember how I went home
along the damp sweet-scented lanes
through the grey mist of the rain,
thinking of the mown field and Elizabeth
Banks [a sinner blessed through her
very sin], and many, many more; and
that night, when the sky had cleared
and the nightingale sang, I looked out
at the moon riding at anchor, a silver
boat in a still blue sea ablaze with the
headlights of the stars, and the saying
of the herdsman of Tekoa came to me—as
it has come oftentimes since:—
‘“Seek Him that maketh the seven
stars and Orion, and turneth the shadow
of death into the morning, and maketh
the day dark with night; that calleth
for the waters of the sea and poureth
them out upon the face of earth; the
Lord is His name.”’
84She was within a very little of the end,
we thought, even then while it was still
possible to carry her into the garden
and lay her in the shelter of her tree,
where, the last time but one that she
was out, she wrote the second paper of
this part. She thought so herself, as
her meditation shews. ‘I feel not so
much desire for the beauty to come,’
she says, ‘as a great longing to open my
eyes a little wider during the time which
remains to me in this beautiful world
of God’s making, where each moment
tells its own tale of active, progressive
life in which there is no undoing.
Nature knows naught of the web of
Penelope, that acme of anxious pathetic
waiting, but goes steadily on in ever
widening circle towards the fulfilment
of the mystery of God.
‘There are, I take it, two master keys
to the secrets of the universe, viewed
sub specie æternitatis, the Incarnation
85of God, and the Personality of Man;
with these it is true for us as for the
pantheistic little man of contemptible
speech, that “all things are ours,”
yea, even unto the third heaven.
‘I have lost my voracious appetite
for books;’ she goes on, ‘their language
is less plain than scent and song and
the wind in the trees; and for me the
clue to the next world lies in the
wisdom of earth rather than in the
learning of men. “Libera me ab
fuscina Hophni,” prayed the good
Bishop, fearful of religious greed. I
know too much, not too little; it is
realisation that I lack, wherefore I
desire these last days to confirm in
myself the sustaining goodness of God,
the love which is our continuing city,
the New Jerusalem whose length,
breadth, and height are all one.’
The cares of this world, such as they
were for her, and the most part of
86them were other people’s, had slipped
away:—‘It is a time,’ she says, ‘of exceeding
peace. There is a place waiting
for me under the firs in the quiet
churchyard; thanks to my poverty I
have no worldly anxieties or personal
dispositions; and I am rich in friends,
many of them unknown to me, who
lavishly supply my needs and make it
ideal to live on the charity of one’s
fellow-men. I am most gladly in debt
to all the world: and to Earth, my
mother’—she writes, as though having
suddenly turned her eyes to the loveliness
around—‘for her great beauty.’
Then, with a backward reflexion on the
long history of the human spirit in its
groping after the divine, she exclaims:—‘There
is more truth in the believing
cry, “Come from thy white cliffs, O
Pan!” than in the religion that
measures a man’s life by the letter of
the Ten Commandments, and erects
87itself as judge and ruler over him,
instead of throwing open the gate of
the garden where God walks with man
from morning until morning.’
The end of that paper is a breath of
her heart’s longing for rest:—‘As I
write the sun is setting; in the pale
radiance of the sky above his glory
there dawns the evening star; and
earth, like a tired child, turns her face
to the bosom of the night.’
Once more she wrote from beneath the
tree on one of the last days of June:—‘The
poplar has lost its metallic shimmer,
the chestnut its tall white candles; and
the sound of the wind in the fully-leaved
branches is like the sighing of
the sea.’ Summer was coming to fullness;
yet she lingered still. The eyes
of her soul sought day by day a land
whose boundaries begin where those of
this world end:—‘Looking across at the
88white gate I wonder concerning the
quiet pastures and still waters that lie
beyond, even as Brother Ambrose
wondered long years ago in the
monastery by the forest.’ She asked
for the manuscript of her little book,
‘Hilarius,’ not thinking that it would
ever see light in print; and copied what
she had written there of the vision of
Brother Ambrose, monk and painter. In
‘a still night of many stars’ he saw, ‘from
a great and high mountain,’ a radiant
path in the heavens, and between the
stars, as they ‘gathered themselves
together on either side until they stood
as walls of light,’ he beheld ‘the Holy
City with roof and pinnacle aflame,
and walls aglow with such colours as
no earthly limner dreams of, and much
gold;’ until to his great grief, ‘a little
grey cloud came out of the north and
hid the city from his sight.’
The end of that vision is an expression
89on her part of the perennial, universal
sorrow of the artist of every kind.
‘Brother Ambrose fell sick because of
the exceeding great longing he had to
limn the Holy City, and was very sad;
but the Prior bade him thank God,
and remember the infirmity of the
flesh, which, like the little grey cloud,
veiled Jerusalem to his sight.’
Just as she was writing these words
the monastery bell of St Hugh rang out,
and another, yet harmonious, note
sounded in the many-stringed instrument
of her soul:—
‘They still have time for visions
behind those guarding walls,’ she says,
‘but for most of us it is not so. We let
slip the ideal for what we call the real,
and the golden dreams vanish while we
clutch at phantoms: we speed along
life’s pathway, counting to the full the
sixty minutes of every hour, yet the
race is not to the swift nor the battle
90to the strong.... And yet, looking
back to the working days, I know how
much goodness and loving kindness
there is under the froth and foam. If
we do not know ourselves we most certainly
do not know our brethren: that
revelation awaits us, it may be, first in
Heaven. To have faith is to create;
to have hope is to call down blessing,
to have love is to work miracles.’
Then, back to the mystic’s and the
artist’s wide-eyed longing:—‘Above all
let us see visions, visions of colour and
light, of green fields and broad rivers,
of palaces laid with fair colours, and
gardens where a place is found for
rosemary and rue.’
The dominant note in Michael Fairless’s
religion was mystical, as any man may
see; and she had the large freedom of
judgement, the understanding of and
patience with sin, imperfection, failure,
91that are given only by the insight of the
heart.
It is true, no doubt, that in every
religious man an acute realization of one
of the three great elements in religion—the
mystical, the intellectual, and the
institutional—naturally carries with it
some degree of subordination of the rest.
The mystic is apt to undervalue reflective
thought; for his soul opens to
him avenues of vision, which are but
poorly represented by the attempts of
theologians to formulate the poetic utterances
of the prophets and the symbolic
pictures of saints. He is apt, also, to
think too little of the outward sign,
however effectual it may be, simply
because, in an intimate awareness of his
soul, the spiritual grace sweeps it aside.
He may forget, in his wordless communion
with God, the need there is for
utterance—for the language of rite or
word or ceremonial gesture—if men of
92different intellectual and spiritual ranks
or stages in development are to bear
each his proper part in a common
religious life, and to make clear, even to
themselves, the depth and height and
breadth of their emptiness without God.
Even those among us not justly to be
called mystics, in an eminent or distinguishing
sense, rarely attain anything
near an equal balance between what
they apprehend by intellect—by reasoning—and
what the institution gives them,
as it were, ready made; very many so
hold the scales as to let the religion of
the heart—of experience of the real,
which is all men’s mysticism—be outweighed
by one or other of those two,
perhaps by each. In Michael Fairless
heart knowledge and worship, the spirit’s
admiration and pursuit, ruled all the rest.
But from the character of this pursuit
and worship in her, from its intensity
and inclusiveness, sprang her high appreciation
93and glad sharing of the rest.
The love of the brethren, of all brethren,
of all that lives, was as the breath of
her own soul’s life. She knew, by her
hold upon the inner truth for spirit
of a material world, the significance for
spiritual growth awaiting every man in
the least of little things. These material
things, small or great, were hers, of her
flesh and of her spirit; she could no
more give them up, set them aside from
her religion, than she could give up God
or man. Therefore she sought, as the
temple of her worship, a place where
there should be room for all; not only
for angels and archangels, saints and
prophets, but for the sinful and the
foolish among men, and for the common
things of earth close by and the far-away
revealing of the stars. In her Church—by
implication at least and promise—all
the worlds of life and death, of the spirit
and the flesh, should be embraced and
94held together. Pan on his white cliffs—‘we
can never be too Pagan,’ she says,
‘if we are truly Christian’—the ancient
Mysteries, Jewish sacrifice, the ancient
world-wide myths—those ‘eternal truths
held fast in the Church’s net’—for all
these and more there must be hands
held out in a temple of the God whose
witness was everywhere and in all,
whose Spirit fills not only the whole
round world but the spaces of the
spheres.
By implication and promise, in principle
you may say if not in practice, she
found what she sought in the English
Church; although like the rest of us she
had to carry promise forward, by hope
and faith, to a fulfilment she could not
look for now. But she found sacraments
now, bringing to her more than
promise. These, in her institutional life,
she must have—she for whom all life
was sacramental—and especially the
95greatest, ‘the most social sacrament,’
she called it. There in the Church they
were for every one of us, as she demanded
them; with a meaning plain to be read
by men obliged to run; calling aloud
upon the ignorant and the blind; showing
beacon-lights for those who wandered
from the way. There earth and heaven
met and the sinner and the saint; there
the life of man was taken up into the life
and manhood and love of God. The
universe was focussed there; and there
she worshipped in peace, as one at home.
You see how by disinterestedness she
escaped the fate of mystics who lack
that sovran antiseptic against self-corruption.
You see, too, how it was that
she never ceased to value—some might
say to over-value—the institutional
element in religion. But she was far
from thinking that she had discovered,
or ever would discover, a Church as it
ought to be. She knew too well what
96the very promise of catholicity entails
of past and present and long-lasting
imperfection. She could not help but
know and see that an ecclesia, a gathering
in which all nations and generations
should be embraced, and which needed
from every man the gifts of the divine
spirit that were his, must be marred for
want of them. Here was a noble but
ill-shapen body composed of ill-shapen
members whose number reached back
into the dim ages of the life of man,
and would stretch into the yet dimmer
ages of his life to come—a slowly organizing
body, shaping itself and being
shapen always anew, suffering, wounded,
bearing the marks of scars and of disease
that had eaten into its flesh. How
could it be anything but as and what it
was, even though its Head were the
eternal Christ himself, the Humanity of
God sharing that scarred and injured
flesh? She knew something of what all
97this implies of beauty and truth to come
slowly, very slowly; she saw something
of what sin and folly, ignorance and
weakness bring to every work and all
the assemblies of mankind. Seeing
clearly and confessing that in the
greatest religious experiment ever tried
upon this earth these things must be
reckoned with, must qualify judgement,
set a pause upon both complacency and
too ready condemnation, she was content,
nay happy, to remain where promise
opens out an endless way. Can any one
of us do more or better?
So much for her attitude towards the
institution of the Christian Church.
With regard to the intellectual element
in religion—especially the schematic and
scientific interpretation which we call
theology—she was wholly without fear.
She had neither leisure nor taste nor
scholarship for historical or documentary
criticism, but when the results of criticism
98came her way she was, as always,
eager to learn. Serious work of this
kind, she was sure, could do the cause
of religion nothing but good. Theological
interpretation must, of course,
emphatically and above all things make
sense when face to face with the saints
and prophets; an interpretation that
did not must go. But it must also make
sense in face of better knowledge, whether
of history, of science, or of philosophy.
Her mind was as hospitable as her heart;
and with a delicate and rational discrimination,
a power of sifting and rejection,
that over and over again served
her well in her adventurous career of
thought. You wrote in marble, not in
sand, when you corrected her mistakes;
or rather you wrote as though with some
fluent leaven that ran through all the
living stuff of her. You found its traces
everywhere long after, and learnt to
wonder why such vital receptivity was so
99rare. She sought truth and ensued it.
Moreover, her sense of the height and
depth of mystery in man’s life and experience
precluded for her the easy
satisfaction of those superficial dogmatists
who ‘need no repentance.’ ‘The
universe,’ she writes, ‘is full of miracle
and mystery: the darkness and
silence are set for a sign we dare not
despise.’ She was among those for
whom that sign is sacramental, conveying
that which it declares, bearing with
it the ineffable promise embraced for
men within the darknesses and silences
of God. These, for the mystic, are no
barrier, but rather the ocean where his
love finds the immense waters of the love
of God. ‘A sign,’ she says, ‘that we
dare not despise’—one that tells us to
set our hand before our lips, lest we
blaspheme God with our little self-made
rules for him. The one rule to which
she clung was the rule of Love and Faith
100and Hope, the all-sufficing rule of men
who feel the stir of the mighty winds of
that spirit which blows where it listeth
and cannot be stilled.
Summer was going fast when the last
scene of her long act of death opened.
In the early days of August she grew
much worse; after the third she was
unable to take any food—only a few
drops of water now and then. On the
twelfth she told me she must try to keep
a promise she had made to Mr Lathbury
that she would write something more for
him if she could. By this time she was
almost blind, and speech was very difficult
and painful to her. In spite of this
she succeeded in dictating to me, after
nine days of starvation and months of
wasting, the last chapter of ‘The Roadmender.’
It was a deed of heroism.
Her mind travelled from the sound of
rain after drought, outside her window,
101and the roused and eager business of
the little birds she loved, back to the
panorama of past years. She revived
her childhood—‘the scent of the first
cowslip field under the warm side of
the hedge’ where she sang to herself
‘for pure joy of their colour and
fragrance’; bluebells ‘like the backwash
of a southern sea’; Watcombe
Down—‘a stretch of golden gorse and
new-turned blood-red field, the green
of the headland, and beyond, the
sapphire sea.’ Fragrance, music, above
all colour—these surged from out her
distant memories. And as the roll unfolded
and later years revived, it was
still the same. Germany, ‘the warm-scented
breath of the pines,’ ‘the tiny
shifting lamps’ of glow-worms ‘pale
yellow, purely white, green as the
underside of a northern wave,’ and
in Switzerland a solitary blue gentian—her
first—‘what need of another, for
102finding one I had gazed into the
mystery of all.’
Then the past slipped away, giving
place to ‘the uneventful road’ on which
she was travelling now. ‘Each day
questions me as it passes; each day
makes answer for me “not yet.”’
‘Do I travel alone,’ she asks, with a
glance at the passage in the Odyssey,
‘or am I one of a great company?’
The voices of Penelope’s suitors send her
to the chorus of the voices of earth,
the language of worship that ‘lies very
nigh’ to man:—‘What better note can
our frail tongues lisp than the voice of
wind and sea, river and stream,’ those
grateful servants giving all and asking
nothing, the soft whisper of snow and
rain eager to replenish, or the thunder
proclaiming a majesty too great for
utterance? ‘Here, too, stands the
angel with the censer gathering up the
fragrance of teeming earth and forest-tree,
103of flower and fruit, and sweetly
pungent herb distilled by sun and
rain for joyful use. Here, too, come
acolytes lighting the dark with tapers—sun,
moon, and stars—gifts of the Lord
that His sanctuary may stand ever
served.’
She comes back to the earth, this
child of earth, bearing sheaves of the
harvest of heaven. For her there was
no gulf set between these two—was not
the Incarnation of God one of her
‘master-keys’? Heaven and earth were
joined in one for her by the life and
love that men might share, in which all
things are made one. When, at the very
last, earth fills her memory and mind
with its scent and colours and sound, it
is an earth transmuted and transparent.
And beyond earth and even heaven is
greater marvel still, that which she never
forgot—the mystery of the darkness and
silence of God, ‘the silence greater than
104speech, darkness greater than light.’
So, this memory dominating all, she says
her last farewell.
We think, or may well think, of
Rabindra Nath Tagore:—
‘I have got my leave. Bid me farewell,
my brothers. I bow to you all
and take my departure.
‘Here I give back the keys of my
door—and I give up all claims to my
house. I only ask for last kind words
from you.
‘We were neighbours for long, but I
received more than I could give. Now
the day has dawned and the lamp that
lit my dark corner is out. A summons
has come and I am ready for my
journey.’
The after-history of ‘The Roadmender’
is worthy of note. Messrs
Duckworth published it on February
10528th, 1902, in the now familiar green
covers. Six times in that year it was
reprinted; ever since, impression has
followed impression until now, when, in
the last month of 1912, its thirty-first
appears. It had no adventitious aids
when it was sent out into the crowded,
jostling world of books, where so many
good things are lost, crushed by mere
numbers. No ‘log-rolling,’ no powerful
trumpeter of its merits, made a way for
it. Why, then, did it make one for
itself that has widened and gone farther
through eleven years, and seems as
though it would grow wider and go
farther still for many a year to come?
Journalists have learnt to call this little
book a ‘classic’; they use it to condemn
or praise a new man’s style; it has
become for critics a standard in its class.
But the more or less professional literary
judgement is of small importance and
easy to account for. The question that
106is of real value for us who read this book,
without even the desire, much less the
skill, to frame a literary judgement on it,
is why it is our own book, why, as I
heard the traveller of a great publisher
say, ‘it is everybody’s book.’ You may
see workmen reading it in omnibuses and
trams, hear of queens commanding it,
find it ready for you in all the shops for
selling books that are new, waste your
time if you look for copies in those
dusty treasure-houses where they sell
them only second-hand. ‘Everybody’
buys it; nobody throws it away. There
is a hard-headed prince of commerce, I
am told—there may be many another,
for anything I know—who keeps a pile
of those little green volumes of mingled
poetry and religion, that he may give
one to any friend who has unaccountably
passed it by. In the States it is served
out to millionaires on Japanese vellum
or fine hand-made paper, with heaven
107knows what outside glory. Certain reviewers,
at first—before they had learnt
caution or, may be, taken pains—said
that ‘this kind of thing’ had been done
before. Many of them have told us
that it has been all too abundantly done
since. Yet the history of ‘The Roadmender’
is unique among histories of
what people mean by ‘this kind of thing.’
We have to account for that uncontested
fact.
For my part I allow myself to think
that the reviewer’s diagnosis is wrong.
‘The Roadmender’ is not that kind of
thing; it stands by itself, it is a thing
of personal and individual life. That is
one reason why it calls forth so living a
welcome when we handle it, it seems to
breathe in our hands. We learn to love
it as something that accepts us and
responds to us; understands us and finds
out our needs in a way of its own.
Here we touch the bottom of the
108problem, I believe. Nothing, in fact,
is heartily welcomed anywhere unless
either a real or an artificial need exists
for it and, either openly or secretly,
demands it.
I think we may say at once that ‘The
Roadmender’ does not meet artificial
needs, such as those created by idleness
of body or, especially, of soul, or by the
faults and follies of a civilization that
has hardly yet begun to grow up. For
myself—and I believe I represent a
large consensus—I say unhesitatingly
that it meets real needs rooted deeply
in every one of us, so deeply that very
many of us live and die without discovering
that they are there. It is
addressed, in its profound simplicity, to
what is common to man, what is discovered
in all men who are truly men, by
those who have learnt to read secrets
of the heart.
We do not know ourselves; we have
109no suspicion, very many of us, that we
are not only in need of beauty, let us
say, but are craving for it, starved for
want of it, going hungry and empty
while we try to satisfy ourselves with
a thousand worthless mockeries of the
real. It is the same with goodness: we
are satiated but not satisfied with
its substitutes, with imitations and
travesties, or rank blasphemies and
denials; our appetite is tricked and we
are deceived. Even when we have the
good will not the bad, goodness, above
all holiness (especially the Christian sort),
has no charm, we think; it is a mawkish
affair, or a fearful and greedy hypocrisy,
as Nietzsche tells us. But when we meet
it—meet the real thing, noble as well as
sweet—then we discover a new region
of ourselves and find it empty. We too
are able, nay, despite our baser selves,
willing and desiring, to worship reality,
to follow after goodness, beauty, and
110truth—the modes and manners of the
almighty Love that searches out our
secrets. Yet, until some magic touch
releases us from the enchantment of our
slavery to lower things and from a far
too low esteem of our own spiritual
capacity, we do not know it.
So, when the magic touch comes we
are a little stirred; weakly perhaps, but
yet with true response, we thrill in answer
to it. We may go to sleep again, but
nothing can ever be as though we had
not felt that touch; we may be the
worse for it, as they are who shut their
eyes to light, or we may be the better
through all the lives and worlds to come.
‘The Roadmender’ has given and will
give this touch—rousing the real self of
men and women everywhere; or coming
to them with the outstretched and
friendly hand of one who can speak as
like to like and by heart to heart.
This, I think, is why it lives.
111
‘Hilarius’ (as we have always called
the book) was written first as a shorter
story, a mere sketch, and later filled in
and amplified. It was meant to be a
parable, a lesson delicately conveyed to
a young painter of high artistic promise
and sincere religious feeling, but prone
to rigid judgements and the use of an
inflexible and all too simple moral
standard—in fact, Hilarius himself.
So, in her story, Michael Fairless
sends this young man—boy indeed he
was, even in years—forth from an
arranged and sheltered life in the
cloister, and from a benumbing established
scheme of thought and things, to
the rude world, the many-coloured, confused,
112everchanging world of men and
women and children, of transforming
values, of sin that is not sinful and condemnation
that does not condemn—a
real world where God is and works,
joins in the strife of men, treads with
them the dust of the highway, is known
by them who seek him not, and in
fashions very strange to those righteous
who need neither repentance nor redeeming
love.
Tracts (this tale was avowedly written
as a tract) do not always pierce their
mark; but the arrow of a tract is not
often so sharply pointed or feathered
with such grace. I incline to think that
this one has found the joints of many a
man’s armour besides his at which it
was aimed.
Assuming, for the moment, the attitude
of the critic, I am bound to admit—the
writer herself would be the first to admit—that
she is an author of one book, as
113we say; the book of her life and death,
written in a fine disinterestedness and
from the fullness and with the candour
of her heart. But that is the one book
which for any author would either crown
his work or cast everything else into
the shade. Moreover, this author wrote
under disabilities that for most people
would have made writing out of any
question; and these disabilities chiefly
affected work done ‘for a purpose’—not
welling, as it were, from her creative
soul. In a sense, Hilarius is made, not
born like the roadmender; and you will
think the book skilfully or unskilfully
made according to the standard of your
taste. But if you choose you may enjoy
it well and find in it beautiful things—the
singular grace of style its author seemed
to possess as a natural gift; her real
mind; her vision too; and something of
the wit and gaiety in which we who
knew her found continual delight, and for
114which there was no place when she wrote
at the White Gate and from the Valley
of the Shadow.
You will find, too, reminders, echoes,
of ‘The Roadmender.’ When she
speaks of ‘this peace of prayerful
service, where the clang of the blacksmith’s
hammer smote the sound of the
Office bell,’ you have the roadmender
spirit:—‘After all, what do we ask of
life, here or indeed hereafter, but leave
to serve, to live, to commune with our
fellow-men and with ourselves; and
from the lap of earth to look up into
the face of God?’
There is the same rejoicing in ‘fair
colours,’ in music and the fragrant
incense of the earth; the happy knowledge
of little children and their transparency
to God; the eye that sees the
great sacrament of life. And here, as
in ‘The Roadmender,’ the divine
sacrament includes, as life includes, our
115misshapen world and the sinful men and
women in it.
Hilarius is blind; his eyes shall be
opened to the meaning of love and of
the craving needs of men, his good will
roused to new accomplishment, both
head and heart stirred to a widening
range. “Blind eyes!” are the parting
words of the dancer in the forest, who
sows in him the seed of promise, yet is
‘a sight for gods, but not for monks;
above all, not for untutored novices’
like him:—‘“Blind eyes, the very forest
could teach thee these things an thou
would’st learn. Farewell, good novice,
back to thy Saints and thy nursery;
for me the wide wide world; hunger
and love—love—love!”’
Hunger and love will tutor Hilarius,
tell him secrets of the world, of himself,
of those other strange selves, and of
God whom he knows too easily under a
false name. ‘“Hast thou ever loved?”’
116asks the ‘flower incarnate’ when he
found her dancing in the wind of the
woods. Then, answering his shocked
surprise:—‘“Why, boy, the world is
full of love, and not all for the Saints
and the Brethren, and it is good—good—good!
’Tis the devil and the
monks who call it evil. Hast thou
never seen the birds mate in the springtime,
nor heard the nightingale sing?”’
‘“Did’st thou ever hunger, master?”’
the dancer’s brother asks, rebuked by
Hilarius out of the Ten Commandments
for stealing ‘the Convent’s hens.’
Hunger and love in body and soul,
coming to man from earth his mother
and from the earthly creatures who are
all his kin; the nature he shares with
them as the ground of his sin and also
of his holiness—these Hilarius shall
learn. He shall learn that without
knowledge and interior acceptance of a
law of the spirit there is neither holiness
117nor sin. This is to learn of the charity
and justice of God; to learn to see that
only the writing scored by a man on the
roll of his self-created character makes
or mars him. Nature waits in every
man, from the first fathers of us all to
the last of our sons, for the conversion
of spirit. It is as the earth, this unconverted
nature of ours; it is turned
neither one way nor the other, is neither
virtuous nor vile, until we make it so.
But without the ground of nature there
would be no standing for the spirit, no
place from which it could either soar or
sink. Hilarius must learn of nature and
of spirit too. He must learn of the slow
learning of the law and of man’s slow
growth into even a possibility of sin.
But above all he must learn of the infinite
humility of the love of God as he stoops
to find a way into the human heart.
Meanwhile ‘he plucked aside his
skirts and walked in judgement,’
118calling, blind-eyed, on the judgement of
God to ratify his poor decisions. ‘“’Tis
an evil, evil world,” quoth young
Hilarius.’
The judgement of God he finds easily
enough, as when we are blind we do.
‘London, that light-minded city, was a
heap of graves’ filled by the great
reaper of the wrath of God with the
plague-smitten corpses of the judged.
Wherefore Hilarius, ‘having seen much
evil and the justice of the Almighty,’
turns his back on it and will learn to be
a great painter, and then return to his
monastery in peace. He had watched
the falling of a Tower of Siloam that had
crushed the evil-doers and confirmed the
faith of the righteous. And then the
true judgement of God, which is new
light in the soul of him who is judged,
smote him on the way he had chosen;
and he learnt to steal that he might have
food for the child of a woman taken in
119adultery. ‘“See,” said the dancer,
“thou hast learnt to hunger and to
love.”’
Myself, I would have had the story
stop there; where, as my memory
serves, it stopped in the original version,
the painter’s tract. But it would never
have been published if it had; and that,
of course, its author soon discovered.
Mr John Murray kindly hastened on the
preparation of proofs, and they came just
in time for her to read some herself and
have others read to her when she could no
longer see. The book appeared shortly
after her death, some months earlier
than ‘The Roadmender,’ in book form.
Mr Murray has recently added to his
many kindnesses by allowing it to be
produced by Messrs Duckworth uniform
with the rest of her work. He has also
produced it himself in a new and cheaper
edition.
120
For the collection of the stories, poems
and sketches published under this title
I alone am responsible. There is no
need to repeat what I said in the preface
about their previous publication in this
or that magazine or weekly paper. I
had rather, and I think more fitly,
discuss some few of them in relation to
aspects of the author’s character that
they point to or reveal.
In ‘A Song of Low Degree’ she speaks
from the heart of her philosophy, as of
her religion:—
‘Lord, I am small, and yet so great.
The whole world stands to my estate
And in Thine Image I create.’
It is the same note that we hear as the
roadmender chants the glories of the
121daffodil-field, and here too it rouses
deeper harmonies.
‘All, all are mine; and yet so small
Am I, that lo, I needs must call,
Great King, upon the Babe in Thee.’
‘We who are made Kings after His
likeness,’ she wrote in ‘The Roadmender,’
‘possess all things, not after
this world’s fashion but in proportion
to our poverty.’ Only as we are kings,
she saw—masters, not slaves, to the
things that we own—do we in fact own,
instead of being owned by, either the
outer gifts of the world, or the nature
and passions in ourselves. So she tells
us; and it is the burden of every inclusive
mystic’s song.
All these mystics are of one family and
speak the same language. They are
great and small, eloquent or halting in
their speech—everywhere they have one
mind and one tongue, whether they
122stammer, or utter music of the spheres.
You may take, for example, one of the
very great, Rabindra Nath Tagore;
and, turning over the slender volume of
his songs, you will find the fulfilment of
the voice of the soul of Michael Fairless.
Take this, the first in his ‘Gitanjali.’
‘Thou hast made me endless, such is
thy pleasure. This frail vessel thou
emptiest again and again, and fillest
it ever with fresh life.
‘This little flute of a reed thou hast
carried over hills and dales, and hast
breathed through it melodies eternally
new.
‘At the immortal touch of thy hands
my little heart loses its limits in joy
and gives birth to utterance ineffable.
‘Thy infinite gifts come to me only on
these very small hands of mine. Ages
pass, and still thou pourest, and still
there is room to fill.’
Of one family are these, elder and
123younger, little or great; of one family
and—marvellous to record—of the same
family as every one of us. Do we not
know it when their word finds its echo
in us or an answering thrill, however
faint and quickly dying away?
Even when they sing of earth and its
joys, we, who ruin those joys at their
source and are blind to the real earth,
making for it a cloak of thick darkness
of our stupidity and sins, find that our
blood stirs in answer.
‘The same stream of life that runs
through my veins night and day runs
through the world and dances in
rhythmic measures.
‘It is the same life that shoots in joy
through the dust of the earth in numberless
blades of grass and breaks into
tumultuous waves of leaves and flowers.
‘It is the same life that is rocked in
the ocean-cradle of birth and of death,
in ebb and in flow.
124‘I feel my limbs are made glorious by
the touch of this world of life. And
my pride is from the life-throb of ages
dancing in my blood this moment.’
East or West, the voices join in one,
and we are able to listen—that is the
wonder of us and the ground of our hope.
There are charming pieces in ‘The
Grey Brethren,’ notably ‘A German
Christmas Eve,’ and ‘A Christmas
Idyll,’ with the sermon that is Michael
Fairless telling (through the mouth of
the Forest Recluse) news of the Kingdom
of God and Man. ‘My brothers and
sisters,’ she says to us, ‘to-night we
keep the Birth of the Holy Babe, and
to-night you and I stand at the gate
of the Kingdom of Heaven, the gate
which is undone only at the cry of a
little child. “Except ye be converted
and become as little children, ye shall
not enter.”
125‘The Kingdom is a great one, nay, a
limitless one; and many enter in calling
it by another name. It includes your
own hearts and this wonderful forest,
all the wise and beautiful works that
men have ever thought of or done, and
your daily toil; it includes your
nearest and dearest, the outcast, the
prisoner, and the stranger; it holds
your cottage home and the jewelled
City, the New Jerusalem itself. People
are apt to think the Kingdom of
Heaven is like church on Sunday, a
place to enter once a week in one’s best:
whereas it holds every flower, and has
room for the ox and the ass, and the
least of all creatures, as well as for our
prayer and worship and praise.
‘“Except ye become as little children.”
How are we to be born again, simple
children with wondering eyes?
‘We must learn to lie in helpless
dependence, to open our mouth wide
126that it may be filled, to speak with
halting tongue the language we think
we know; we must learn, above all,
our own ignorance, and keep alight
and cherish the flame of innocency in
our hearts.
‘It is a tired world, my brethren, and
we are most of us tired men and women
who live on it, for we seek ever after
some new thing. Let us pass out
through the gate into the Kingdom of
Heaven and not be tired any more,
because there we shall find the new
thing that we seek. Heaven is on
earth, the Kingdom is here and now;
the gate stands wide to-night, for it is
the birthnight of the Eternal Child.
We are none of us too poor, or stupid,
or lowly; it was the simple shepherds
who saw Him first. We are none of us
too great, or learned, or rich; it was
the three wise kings who came next
and offered gifts. We are none of us
127too young; it was little children who
first laid down their lives for Him; or
too old, for Simeon saw and recognised
Him. There is only one thing against
most of us—we are too proud.
‘My brethren, “let us now go even
unto Bethlehem, and see this thing
which is come to pass, which the Lord
hath made known to us.”’
Here is the authentic message of the
mystic and of religion. It is the proclamation
of sovran Love; from which
nothing is shut out, by which nothing
can ever be forgotten or ignored. ‘There
is only one thing against most of us—we
are too proud.’ But for that,—say
Michael Fairless and the whole mystical
chorus,—but for that, we too should be
proclaiming the beauty of the Lord and
of his kingdom within us and without.
Of Michael Fairless, as she is in the
last of the four stories told to children,
128the last thing in the book, I wrote thus
in the original preface:—
‘Some of the many readers who have
found her there will understand me
when I say that the story of her life
and death, and of her life too (as I
believe) after death, is written down
in the little tale of “The Tinkle-Tinkle,”
first told to her best beloved
in the wild garden at Kew, among blue
hyacinths and shining grasses of the
spring that spoke to her of Paradise.’
I have told the story of her life and
death at greater length now and with comments
and comparisons. But I still think
that it is all in ‘The Tinkle-Tinkle,’
and far better told than I can tell it.
There will be some who will not agree
with me; but they have never known
her as I do. They do not see her looking
upon herself and every one in the world,
and saying, ‘I cannot tell you what he
was like, because no man knows, not
129even the Tinkle-Tinkle himself.’ For
anyone who had not watched her
infinite variety, her swift transitions,
her adaptability, the surprises of her,
there would be little enough sense in
being told that her very self is there
when she says:—‘Sometimes he lived
on the ground, sometimes in a tree,
sometimes in the water, sometimes in
a cave; and I can’t tell you what he
lived on, for no man knows, not even
the Tinkle-Tinkle himself.’
We find her, as well as her interpretation
of life, from the beginning of this
little tale to the end. And here in this
refrain of ignorance, ‘no man knows, not
even the Tinkle-Tinkle himself,’ we find
an expression of her always reverent
agnosticism, the agnosticism of the
mystic—of him who sees too deeply to
be able to persuade himself that he sees
all.
It is she, too, who hears ‘a piteous
130weeping’ from the least and lowest of
the lost creatures of the earth, and would
lead each one of them to its own home—
but I cannot tell you how he went, for
no man knows, not even the ‘Tinkle-Tinkle.’
No man really knows the secret
of the irresistible power of love; no man
knows, even when it is at work in him
and is working by him.
Yet man, as the Tinkle-Tinkle knows,
must be ever a seeker; therefore ‘it
was a great grief to the Tinkle-Tinkle
not to know what he was, or how he
lived, or where he was going,’—the
grief of the metaphysician, with his ever-repeated
questions, whence and what?
why? whither?—the grief, too, of every
honest thinker who does not answer himself
with lies. Yet here is the lofty and
special privilege of these two, as Michael
Fairless was aware; and they must hide
both their privilege and their grief:—
‘It often made him depressed, but he
131always concealed it from the dormice,
appearing a most cheerful and contented
creature.’ This is of the tenderness
that guards bruised reeds and
the smoking flax. But of the privilege
and indeed of the grief there comes to
the like of Tinkle-Tinkle an opening of
wonders. ‘Now it happened on a
certain evening that the Tinkle-Tinkle
was travelling over the sea, when
suddenly in the depths he caught sight
of a most beautiful creature. It was
all sorts of colours—white, rosy pink,
and deep crimson, and pale blue fading
into white and gold. It had no face
but a bright light; and it had quantities
of beautiful iridescent wings, like the
rainbow; and the most lovely voice
you ever heard, like the sighing of the
waves in the hollow of the sea.’
(‘Thy sunbeam,’ says the great Indian
poet and seer, ‘comes upon this earth
of mine with arms outstretched, and
132stands at my door the livelong day to
carry back to thy feet clouds made of
my tears and sighs and songs.
‘With fond delight thou wrappest
about thy starry breast that mantle of
misty cloud, turning it into numberless
shapes and folds and colouring it with
hues everchanging.
‘It is so light and so fleeting, tender
and tearful and dark, that is why thou
lovest it, O thou spotless and serene.
And that is why it may cover thy
awful white light with its pathetic
shadows.’)
‘And the beautiful Creature cried out
to him, and its voice made Tinkle-Tinkle
remember a dream he had once
had of sunshine, and forest trees, and
the song of birds; and the Creature
said, “Ah, Tinkle-Tinkle! you are
lonely and perplexed and sad, and you
do not know whence you came nor
133why you are here; but the dormice
know and the green bird knows, and
I know, and we are glad for your
being. Go on, Tinkle-Tinkle, and do
not sorrow, for some day you shall
come back to me, and I will wrap
you in my wings and take you
where you belong, and then you will
understand.”’
Love knows and love shall reveal, and
the beginning of the tale of love makes its
hearer ‘glad with a strange new gladness’;
so that when he returns to ‘his
cave’ he is ‘not alone, for the spirit of
hope’ goes with him.
Not only the metaphysician hidden in
other men as in Michael Fairless speaks
in this child’s tale, but the artist too.
‘The Tinkle-Tinkle had one gift—he
could sing—how, no man knew, not
even the Tinkle-Tinkle himself; and
this is how he discovered his gift.
134‘One day in a secluded spot in the
forest he found a dying stag, and the
Tinkle-Tinkle was moved with great
compassion and yet could do nothing.
‘The great stag’s head drooped lower
and lower till even the sun melted in a
mist of pity, and the trees sighed, and
the breezes hushed their voices. Then
suddenly the Tinkle-Tinkle crept close
and began to sing, why or how he knew
not. As he sang, the birds and the
stream were silenced and the breezes
ceased, and the great stag’s breathing
grew less and less laboured, and his
eyes brightened, and presently he rose
slowly to his feet and paced away to
join the rest of the herd, and the
Tinkle-Tinkle went with him.
‘When the stag’s companions heard
the story, they wept for all that had
befallen their leader, but rejoiced also
and blessed the Tinkle-Tinkle; and he
sang once more for them, and the star-spirits
135leaned out of their bright little
windows to listen, and the night was
glad.’
A dumb poet, a frustrate artist, the
singer of this child’s song was when she
sang it. She could not know that her
swan-song would travel through all the
world of her own people and bring her
blessing; but she knew the artist’s
longing and had felt, too, not a little
of the strength of the power of beauty
in his hands.
The end of the story comes as the
Tinkle-Tinkle began ‘to feel very old
and worn and weary,’ and the spirit of
hope, that went back with him to the
world’s cave when he had seen in a
vision the light of its day, stirred
within his heart. ‘Then he remembered
the promise of the beautiful Creature,
and went slowly over the sea hoping
the time had come for it to be fulfilled,
136and it had. The beautiful Creature
stretched out its lovely rose and purple
wings and wrapped the Tinkle-Tinkle
in their warm soft greatness, and bore
him down and down through the depths
till they came to the Great Gate. At
the beautiful Creature’s voice it swung
slowly back, and they passed down the
Blue Pathway, which is all ice, cut and
carved into lovely pinnacles and spires,
very blue with the blue of the summer
sky and the southern seas. The Tinkle-Tinkle
could just see it from between
the beautiful Creature’s wings, stretching
away in the blue distance, and at
the end one star.
‘Presently—and though the time had
been one thousand years it had not
seemed long to the Tinkle-Tinkle—they
came out into a beautiful place
that was nothing but light, and the
beautiful Creature set the Tinkle-Tinkle
down. He looked around him and saw
137many other Tinkle-Tinkles, and he
knew them for what they were and
loved their beauty; and the Creature
gently swept one of its purple pinions
across him, and the Tinkle-Tinkle took
form. He had many, many little soft,
strong hands and many little white
feet, and long sweeping wings and a
face which shone with something of
the light of the beautiful Creature; and
the Tinkle-Tinkle saw and understood
and sang for joy.’
Vere Ierusalem est illa civitas
Cuius pax iugis et summa iucunditas;
Ubi non prœvenit rem desiderium,
Nec desiderio minus est prœmium.
PRINTED BY
TURNBULL AND SPEARS,
EDINBURGH
- Fixed typos; non-standard spelling and dialect retained.