September 19, 1904.—Because they can so little
afford to be ill, it is habitual among the very poor
to neglect an illness long after other people would
be seriously alarmed at it; and the habit had been
confirmed in Bettesworth with regard to his wife's
maladies, by her having so many times recovered
from them without help. It was almost a matter
of course to him, when about the middle of September,
and less than a month after his return from
the hospital, she became once more exceedingly
unwell. So she had often done: it was not worth
mentioning, and was not mentioned, to me. I knew
of no trouble. If I had been asked about his welfare
at that time, I should have said that the old man
was rather unusually happy. I should have said
so especially one Monday morning (it was the 19th
of September); because on that day we were picking
apples, and his conversation was so delightfully
in harmony with the sunshine glinting among the
apple-boughs. He told of cider and cider-making;
and then of shepherds he had known on the Sussex
Downs, and of their dogs, and their solitary pastimes
upon the hills. Hearing him, no one, I am
sure, could have supposed that at home his wife
had been dangerously ill for nearly a week, and
that consequently his own comfort there had for
the time ceased to exist.
Later on that Monday his wife's condition (not
his own) was somehow made known to me. I suppose
Bettesworth consulted me on the step he was
contemplating, of going to the relieving officer to-morrow
to get an order for medical attendance for
old Lucy. At any rate, by Monday night that is
what he had resolved to do, and I knew it and
approved, remembering what the policeman had
said to me. It seemed a wise precaution to take,
but evidently it could not be urgent. Bettesworth
was choosing Tuesday, because on Tuesday mornings
the relieving officer is in attendance in the
parish, and the order could therefore be got without
a five-mile walk for it.
From various circumstances it may be inferred
that the early part of Tuesday was an unhappy
time for Bettesworth: a time of fretful watching
for the dawn, perhaps after a wakeful night; of impatience
to come and begin his day's work, and then
of impatience for eleven o'clock to arrive, and of
brooding obstinate thoughts, until at eleven he
might go and get the miserable interview over.
For it made him miserable to have to sue in the
form of a pauper, and he was prepared, as poor
folk generally are, to find in the relieving officer a
bully if not a brute. I may say at once that he
was agreeably deceived, and said as much afterwards—he
was treated humanely and with appreciation;
but the relieving officer's account of the interview
sufficiently proves that the old man went to
it in but a surly temper. I imagine him standing
up as straight as his crooked old limbs would let
him, rolling his head back defiantly, with tightened
lips and suspicious eyes, and answering as uncivilly
as he dared. A compliment was offered him, on
his haste to get away from the infirmary in the
spring. "I en't no workhouse man!" he answered
brusquely. And he did his best to persuade the
relieving officer that he would never want relief for
himself, asserting that he belonged to a club, and
concealing the fact that he was a superannuated
member of it, no longer entitled to benefit from
the club funds.
And then, the interview over, and the order
obtained, his cheerfulness for the rest of the day
is suggestive of an ordeal successfully passed.
True, I have lost record of how he pottered through
the afternoon—it was, of course, useless to go to
the parish doctor at that time of day—but he seemed
to have suddenly lost the weakness still lingering
from the operation in the hospital; and being short
of money, he proposed an extra job for the evening.
He wanted to clear out a cesspit in my garden. I
urged that he had better rest, and take care of himself
as well as of his wife. "I be gettin' bonny!"
he said happily.
He carried his point, too. As if he had no wife
ill at home, at about eight o'clock, which was
usually his bed-time, he came back and began his
self-imposed task, with a young labourer to help.
And he must have been in merry spirits, for he
kept his mate amused, so that from the house I
could hear the man laughing, in frequent bleating
outbursts of hilarity, at some facetious saying or
other. One of these sayings I heard, on going out
to see how the work was progressing. "He must
be a greedy feller as wants more 'n one or two
whiffs o' this," Bettesworth remarked; and his
companion let out another good-tempered laugh.
From the old man's manner I argued that his wife
must be doing well; but probably it indicated only
a reaction from the moody temper of the morning.
The job was finished at about half-past nine, and
conscious of a good day's work done, Bettesworth
once more crept over the hill and across the valley,
home.
But not to go to bed, or to sleep. While he was
at work in the moonlight and making his friend
laugh, I did not know, but he did, what was in
store for him. Having no spare bed, he began his
night downstairs and dozed for a while in an easy-chair;
then roused and went out into the moonlight
to smoke a pipe; and so he got through the
night. Tobacco was his solace. He smoked, he
told me, a full ounce in the ensuing twenty-four
hours. At seven in the morning—his usual hour—he
was here beginning work: at nine he left off, to go
into the town and present his order at the doctor's.
That journey on the Wednesday morning proved
the beginning of a period of intenser wretchedness
for the old man. He set out in apparent equanimity;
but the fatigue of the night was upon him, the glow
of yesterday's contentment had died out, and his
nerves must have been all on edge to take as he
did a remark of the doctor's—"What do you want
of an order? You're in constant work, aren't you?"
It seemed to him that he was being insulted for
coming as a pauper, and it was all he could do to
refrain from a rejoinder that would have resulted
in his being summarily ejected from the doctor's
presence. And was he as submissive as he fancied?
It is more likely that the ungraciousness of his
manner was to blame for what he regarded as pure
heartlessness in the other. That he must be at
home to meet the doctor was self-evident; but it
was important to him not to lose a whole day from
his work, and he desired to know whether the
visit would be made before his dinner-time or after
it? I hazard a guess that he stated the case in
tones of defiant bargaining; at any rate, he could
get no answer but that the doctor would call during
the day. With that he returned here—a quivering
mass of resentment; and in that temper, to which
nothing is so repugnant as waiting, by my persuasion
rather than by his goodwill he left his work and
went home to wait.
With what increasing bitterness he wore through
the day, with what fretfulness and final despair as
of a man despised and forgotten, must be left to
conjecture. For the doctor did not come, after all.
Conjecture, too, must picture if it can the night
that followed—the attempts to sleep in the chair,
the restless wanderings into the garden to smoke,
the repetition, in fact, of the preceding night's
misery, but with a great addition of weariness and
distress. Bettesworth, when he came round the
next morning to tell me how he was situated, did
not so much as mention all this; he only let fall one
pitiful detail. Some time in the night he had given
his wife a little brandy; and about daybreak he
went out to draw fresh water into the kettle "so's
not to have it no-ways stale," for making her a
cup of tea. But, partaking of a cup himself at
the same time, he "hadn't had it above five minutes
afore he was out in the garden" to let the tea come
back again. After that, he appears to have abandoned
the attempt to get sustenance elsewhere than
from tobacco. It was a dismal story to hear: but
there was nothing to be done; and having heard it,
I sent him home again to go on waiting. This was
Thursday, two days after he obtained the relieving
officer's order for medical assistance, and by now
the state of his wife was causing him grave fears.
But why had the doctor not been near? To
Bettesworth's wounded feelings the explanation
needed no seeking: he was being made to wait for
richer people, because he was poor and unimportant.
Meanwhile, happening to meet with the relieving
officer, I laid the case before him, and heard that a
call to a distance had obliged the doctor to leave
his work for a day or two in the hands of a locum
tenens, who must have blundered. And this proved
to be the fact. On Thursday afternoon a doctor
who was a stranger at last found his way to Bettesworth's
cottage, and the unhappy old man's long
suspense was so far over. At once all his bitterness
died out. The doctor "was as nice a gentleman
as ever I talked to," he affirmed. "He said she
was very bad. She wasn't to have nothing but only
milk an' beef-tea an' brandy, an' she wasn't to be
left alone." Bettesworth therefore did not leave
home again that day. He got his niece, whose
young family prevented her from giving much help,
to go to the town and bring home the medicine,
and so he settled down for another night like those
that had gone before.
It was on the next morning (Friday) that he told
me these few particulars, and how his wife seemed
a trifle—only a trifle—better; how, too, he had
"washed her as well as he could," and, being asked,
how he had not been to bed himself. And now he
was on his way to the town to buy a few necessaries.
Who was with his wife meanwhile? That was a
question I dared not ask, because I knew that the
distressful old woman was a by-word for sluttishness
among the neighbours, so much that they would
hardly go near her; and I knew that Bettesworth,
though silent on the subject, was sore about it.
Without doubt the old woman was quite alone,
whenever circumstances compelled him to leave
her.
The "necessaries" he was going to buy included
beef-tea "and some cakes," he said. At the
mention of cakes I exclaimed, but he protested
reproachfully, "Well, but she en't had nothin' to
eat!" Clearly he did not regard milk as food, or
indeed anything else that was not solid. In the
matter of beef-tea, "I can't make it myself," he
said, "but you can buy it, can't ye, in jars?"
He was perhaps thinking of Bovril, or something of
the kind. Fortunately there were those at hand
who knew how to make beef-tea, and undertook at
once to relieve the old man of this burden.
Taking him apart then, I asked if he needed a
shilling or two. He almost groaned in deprecation,
"I owes you such a lot now, and keeps on gettin'
into debt. I'd sooner rub along with jest as little
as ever I possibly can." It was of his rent he was
thinking, which of course was payable for those
weeks of his own illnesses, as well as for his absence
from work now, when he was not earning any wages
from which the rent could be deducted. Perhaps
he was unaware that I had no account of the debt;
in any case, it seemed to be preying upon his mind.
I did not press the point, therefore, and he started
off for the town without aid from me.
In another way, too, the old man's reluctance
to be a burden manifested itself. What he had
told me so far was told because I wished to hear it,
and he wished me to understand. He made no
long tale: he was brief, unaffected, and as for
seeking compassion, it was far from his intention.
Of one thing only did he complain: a near relative's
indifference. "He was over by our place twice
o' Sunday," Bettesworth said scornfully, "and
couldn't look in to see how the poor old gal was.
He was ready enough to send to me when he had
his mishap" (falling from a rick, and finding himself
in agony at night), "and I run off an' went all down
to the town for 'n, late at night. But now I wants
help—no: he won't come anear. That's the sort
o' feller he is." So Bettesworth, uttering his sole
complaint. But he did not demand from others
the sympathy he looked for from a relation, or seek
to inflict them with the tale of troubles which, after
all, he would have to bear by himself.
At this point, if the actual course of this over-crowded
Friday were to be followed strictly, the
narrative would suffer a strange interruption. For,
having business of my own in the town, I set off
at the same time with Bettesworth, expecting little
cheerfulness from him on the way. But I had
failed to appreciate the man's stoicism, or the strong
grip he had over his feelings. For several nights
he had not rested on a bed; he had taken during
the same period next to no food; he had been
harassed by suspense, worn by indignation, baffled
constantly by the obstacles which his poverty set
in his way; and it would have been pardonable if
he had proved himself but a gloomy companion for
a walk. Yet from the moment of our setting out
he put aside all his difficulties, and not only did he
not distress me, but for the half-hour before we
separated he kept me interested in his sensible
conversation on local topics, or charmed by the
pleasant rustic flavour of some of his reminiscences.
Here, therefore, would be the natural place for
inserting some fragments of this talk, which I wrote
down in the evening. It happened, however, that
in writing I gave precedence to an important
change which by then had come over the situation
at Bettesworth's home; and as I propose to take
the account of this development and the issue of
it straight from my note-book, the bits of gossip
too had better come in just as they stand there.
It appears, then, to have been at about six o'clock
in the afternoon that I was writing, as follows:
Bettesworth has just been over (from his home)
to consult me, and perhaps to have a chat and relieve
his overburdened soul. When he got back from the
town this morning, he found the doctor paying
another visit, who was "wonderful nice," and
offered to give him a certificate for admitting the
old woman to the infirmary, if he would care to
have it and would call for it at the surgery. Bettesworth
only wanted my encouragement. He is
going down this evening for the certificate, and
hopes to get his wife removed to-morrow.
It will be none too soon. The watching is wearing
him out. Last night he had left her and gone
downstairs, and sat dozing in the chair, when she
tried to get out of bed, and fell heavily on the floor.
He ran up—and forgot to take the candle back with
him, thereby adding to his difficulties—and somehow
managed to get her back into bed again and
covered up, without aid. But now, says he, "I
said to Dave Harding as I come up the road, 'What
I should like to do 'd be to crawl up into the fir-woods
where nobody couldn't see me, and lay
down an' get three or four hours' sleep.' 'You
couldn't do it,' he says; ''t'd be on your mind all
the time. You might get off for ten minutes,
p'raps, an' then you'd be up an' off again.' But
that's what I sims as if I should like, more 'n anything:
jest to crawl away somewhere, where nobody
wouldn't come, for a good sleep. Then wake up and
'ave a floush—'t'd freshen me up."
Certainly he is overdone. Upon my renewing
offers of a little help, he became tearful, almost
sobbing: "You be the only friend I got.... I bin
all over the country," and have faced all sorts of
things, "but I be hammer-hacked about, now,
no mistake." His grief consists in being able to
do so little for his wife. He has given her since
his dinner-time her medicine, then a sip of brandy
"to take the taste out of her mouth.... And then
I said, 'Now here's a cake I bought for ye in the
town; have a bit o' that.' So she nibbled a bit,
and I says, 'Eat 'n up.' No, she didn't want no
more. 'But you got to 'ave it,' I says. I a'most
forced it down her throat. I do's the best I can
for her; but I en't got nobody to tell me what
to do."
And he is galled by turns, by turns amused, at
her behaviour towards himself. "I can't do
nothink right for her. She's more stubborn to me
than to anybody else: keeps on findin' fault. Last
night, in the night, she roused up an' accused me
o' goin' away. 'You bin away somewheres,' she
says. 'Oh yes, you 'ave; I heared ye come creepin'
back up the road.' And I'd bin sittin' there all the
time."
This and much more he told. I tried to get away
(we were in the garden), for I was busy; but he
followed me, to talk still, and wandered off into
recollections of his experiences at Guildford
Hospital.
7.30 p.m. Bettesworth has called once more,
coming from the town, to show me the doctor's
certificate (gastritis, it says), and to let me know
that to-morrow morning he will not be here at his
usual time. He proposes going to the relieving
officer to obtain his order for a conveyance to
move the old woman. "I shall be over there by
seven o'clock," he says. The cumbersomeness of
all these formalities is sickening. Having got the
order, he will probably need to go right back to the
town to arrange about the conveyance.
He was very tired, and rather wet, the night
having set in with showers coming up on the east
wind. So I got him a chair in the scullery, for the
wet was making his old corduroys smell badly,
and gave him a small glass of brandy-and-water.
He refused a biscuit; "I couldn't swaller it," he
said. "I can't eat, for thinkin' o' she."
He is not without a kind of pitiful consolation.
"Seven or eight," he says, have professed their
willingness to receive him into their homes, if need
should be. One, even now, on the road from the
town, has said, "Don't you trouble about yerself,
Freddy; you can have a home with me, if you
should want one." But the idea associated with
this, of parting from his wife, breaks him down.
The doctor who granted the certificate—the right
doctor, this time—was sympathetic. "He come
out to me because he see I was touched, and says,
'You no call to be oneasy, old gentleman; she'll be
looked after up there. Everything 'll be done for
her as can be done.'"
But these nights, in which he does not go to bed!
His ankles and calves get the cramp, for he seems
not to have thought, so little practice has he had in
making himself comfortable, of resting his feet on
another chair, while he is lying back in the easy-chair
downstairs.... He has gone home now, to
make up a fire and get what rest he may. "But
then," he says, "she'll holler out, an' I got to run."
He told me again how she "fell out o' bed flump"
last night, and he stormed upstairs and found her
on the floor, for "she didn't know how to get in
again, not no more'n a cuckoo."
The group of cottages where he lives stands high
above the road, which is reached by steps roughly
cut into the steep bank. On one of these recent
nights, having gone down the steps meaning to buy
his wife sixpennyworth of brandy, Bettesworth
felt in his trousers pocket for the shilling he had
put there, and—it was gone. "Oh, I was in a
way! I went back, an' crawled all up they steps,
feelin' for it," the hour being eight o'clock, and
moonlight. "As I went past old Kiddy's, I called
out to 'n, 'Kid!', 'cause I wanted to tell 'n what
trouble I was in, and I knowed he'd ha' come and
helped me to find 'n, if he'd bin about. But he was
gone to bed, 'cause he starts off so early in the
mornin'." Thus the old man got back home, disconsolate,
without the necessary brandy for his
wife; and, calling upstairs to her, "Lou, I've lost
that shillin'," he began to prepare for his night in
the easy-chair. But, first feeling in his pocket once
more, he discovered there (fruits of his wife's
incapacity) "a hole," he said, "I could put my
finger through."
He pulled up his trouser legs to the knee, "because
I always ties my garters up above the knee," and,
with his foot on "the little stool I always puts 'n
on to lace up my boots—I've had 'n ever since my
boy was born—I thought I felt somethin' in the heel
o' my shoe, and as soon as I pulled 'n off it rattled
on the floor. Wa'n't that a miracle? My hair
stood bolt upright! I gropsed an' picked 'n up,
and hollered up the stairs, 'I've found 'n!' 'Oh,
have ye?' she says. 'I thought you'd bin an' spent
'n.'" Quickly he was off again to the public-house—Tom
Durrant's—and "I says, 'I lost that
shillin' once. I'll take good care I don't lose 'n
again!' And I chucked 'n up on the counter.
Durrant says, 'Oh, did ye lose 'n?' So then I
come back 'ome with my sixpenn'oth o' brandy.
But wa'n't it a miracle? My hair stood reg'lar
bolt upright, and I was that contented!"
There was much, very much, that I am missing;
but I must not quite pass over the old man's talk
on the way to the town this morning. He did not
once mention his trouble. All the way it was his
ordinary chatter—the chatter of a most vigorous
mind, which had never learnt to think of things in
groups, but was intensely interested in details.
It began at once, with reference to a cottage—a
sort of "week-end" cottage—we were passing, into
which, Bettesworth said, new tenants were coming.
"How they keep changing!" said I; and he, "Well
enough they may, at the price." "What is it,
then?" "Four pound a month. Furnished, o'
course; but there en't much there. And," he added,
"I can't see payin' a pound a week for a place to
lay down in."
Next—but what came next had better be omitted
now. It related to the family affairs of a certain
coal-carter, and so led up to discourse of other
carter men who lived in the village. From them,
the transition to the employer of two of them was
easy. He "got the two best carters in the neighbourhood
now," said Bettesworth; but as for horses,
"he en't got a hoss fit to put in a cart, 'cause he
en't never had anybody before as understood anything
about 'em. Somebody ought to put the
cruelty inspector on to him, to go to his place and
see. He did go, once; but he" (the horse-owner)
"got wind of it and," as far as could be gathered
from Bettesworth's talk, is suspected of having
"squared" the inspector. But "there's a lot
talkin' about the condition of the hosses down
there," and, indeed, things "down there" seem to
be generally mismanaged. The premises are "a
reg'lar destructive old place": the carts, "he won't
never have 'em only botched up, an' they be all to
pieces;" and the harness is treated no better.
"The saddles, they says, the flock 's all in lumps:
sure a hoss's back an' shoulders 'd get sore. That's
where they do's all the work, poor things. When I
had hosses to look after, as soon as I got 'em in I
always looked to their back an' shoulders first.
I'd get a sponge, or a cloth...."
One of the two good carters above mentioned
"can trace up a hoss's tail, you know, with straw.
There en't one in ten knows how to do that. I've
earnt many a shillin' at it." But Bettesworth had
known one man who used to earn as much as thirty
shillings in a day at this work, at horse-fairs. Him
Bettesworth has occasionally helped, I understand;
and also, "Old Bill Baldwin—I've sometimes bin
down an' done it for him."
Now, I had thought Bill Baldwin knew all that
was worth knowing about horses and horse management;
so I asked, surprisedly, "What, can't he do
it?"
"He can do the tracin', in a straight run; but he
can't tie up. I could do it all: the tails, and the
manes too—you've see it. I'd get a bit o' live"
(lithe?) "straw ... 't was when I was a boy-chap,
a little bigger 'n that 'n" (whom at the moment
we were meeting) "down at Penstead at Farmer
Barnes's. I used to be such a one for the hosses;
and I could do it, because my fingers was so lissom."
(Poor old stubbed, stiff, bent fingers! to think of
it!) "And then, I took such a delight in it. And
Mrs. Barnes—she was a Burton—she was as proud
o' them hosses! Used to get up at four o'clock
in the mornin', purpose to see 'em start off. And
the harness was all as clean—the brass used to
shine as bright as ever any gold is, and she was
proud. Twenty thousand pound, was the last
legacy she had. She was just such another woman
to look at as old Miss Keen, what used to live
down in the town; and a better woman never was.
"That's where I got all my scholarship....
Well, I could read—a little—but not to understand
it. But she—she give me shirts, an' trousers—'cause
we wore smock-frocks then—but she give
me shirts an' trousers to go to night-school in.
Course, I couldn't have had proper clothes without.
'Cause 'twas only thirty shillin's a year besides grub
an' lodgin'.... And 't wan't no use to talk about
runnin' away. I hadn't got no home. Besides,
we was hired from Michaelmas to Michaelmas."
We spoke again of various neighbours, and thus
drifting on (I am omitting vast quantities) Bettesworth
presently told of a recent attempt at starting
a village football club, or rather, of the subsequent
discussion of the affair at the public-house. An
enthusiast there wished to get "as many members
as ever they could." "But how be ye goin' to
pick 'em for play?" asked another. "Oh, pick
the best." Bettesworth tells me this, adding, "I
don't call that fair do's at all. I can't see no
justice in that, that one should pay to be a member
of a club, purpose for somebody else to have all the
play. That's the way they breaks up a club. Break
up any club, that would."
September 24.—Word was brought this afternoon
(Saturday) that Bettesworth was at the kitchen
door, wishing to see me. Of course he has not been
to work to-day. I found him standing outside,
patient and quiet, until, being asked how things
were going, he began to cry, and shook his head, so
that I feared something had miscarried and asked,
"Why, haven't you got your wife away?"
"Yes, we got her away, but she was purty near
dead when we got her there. The matron shook
her head, and said, 'You'll never see her home again
alive.'"
There were repetitions and variations of this;
but I, reiterating my assurances that "she had
got a lot of strength," and that in fine the old wife
would yet live to come home again, quite forgot to
observe exactly what Bettesworth said. His distress
was too afflicting.
It would take long, too, to tell of his morning in
his own words, beginning with the early walk to
Moorways for the relieving officer's order, and telling
how old chums starting off to work were astonished
to see him thus unwontedly on the road, and what
they said as he passed them by as if with a renewal
of vigour, and how one was "puffed, tryin' to keep
up." The long waiting at the office door (the officer
had been out in his garden getting up potatoes),
and Bettesworth's meditations, "I wish he'd
come," and the instructions furnished him as to
how to go on—they were all narrated simply, because
they happened; but the touch of grey morning mist
which somehow pervaded the talk while I was
hearing it could not be reproduced with its words.
The old man was back here soon after eight o'clock,
on his way to the town to order the fly which should
take his wife to the infirmary. He had had no
breakfast. I gave him tea and bread and butter;
but he left the bread and butter—couldn't swallow
it, he said. He had had a glass of beer at the
Moorways Inn.
He went into the town, and I met him on the
road, returning. The fly proprietor had recognized
him and behaved kindly. "Got a bit o' trouble
then, old gentleman?" Yes, the fly should be
there to the minute.
At noon, to the minute, it arrived, the driver of
it being a son of an old neighbour of Bettesworth's.
Meanwhile, Bettesworth's niece, "Liz," and a
neighbour's wife—a Mrs. Eggar—whom he spoke
of as "Kate," were there trying to dress the old
woman—and failing. They got her stockings on,
but no boots; a petticoat or so, but no bodice with
sleeves; and for that much they had to struggle,
even calling on Bettesworth to come upstairs and
help them. Then the fly came, "and all she kep'
sayin' was, 'Leave me to die at home. I wants to
die at home'" and she fought and would not be
moved.
To get her downstairs the help of two men besides
the driver was enlisted, Kate's husband being one
of them. By a kindly policy, Bettesworth himself
was sent to hold the horse ("'cause he wanted to
start off"), in order that the sight of her husband
might not increase the poor old woman's reluctance;
and so they carried her downstairs, "bodily," he
said, meaning, I suppose, that she did not support
herself at all.
The doctor had advised, and the neighbours too,
that Bettesworth himself should not accompany his
wife. But now the niece Liz, being unwell, was
afraid to be alone with what looked a dying woman,
and at the last moment Bettesworth jumped into
the cab. As it started, the old woman's head fell
back, her mouth dropped open. A pause was made
at the public-house, to get brandy for her, which,
however, she could not, or would not, take. Gin
was tried, and she just touched it. Liz took the
brandy; Bettesworth and the driver shared a pint
of beer; then they drove off again. Once, on the
way, Liz said, "Uncle, she's gone! Hadn't ye
better stop the fly?" But he put his head down
against her cheek, and found that she was still
living; and so they came to the outer entrance of
the infirmary. Further than that Bettesworth was
dissuaded from going: it was not well that his wife
should be agitated by the sight of him at the very
gates; and accordingly he came away.
So he is alone in his cottage, and may rest if he
can. He is to have meals at his niece's, but will
sleep at home. The kindness is touching to him,
not alone of the nephew and niece, but of his neighbours
generally. "Kate said she'd ha' went down
in the fly, if I'd ha' let her know in time. An' she'd
wash for me—if I'd take anything I wanted along
to her Monday or Tuesday, she'd wash it. I says
to her, 'You be the first friend I got, Kate.' Well,
Liz had told me she couldn't undertake it. She
was forced to get somebody to do her own, and the
doctor come to see her one day expectin' to find
her in bed, and she was gettin' the dinner. There's
Jack" (her husband) "and four boys.... So
Kate's goin' to do the washin' for me, and she and
her daughter's goin' one day to give the place a scrub
out. More'n that she can't do—with eight little
'uns, and then look at the washin'!" For Mrs. Eggar
takes in washing, to eke out her husband's fifteen
or sixteen shillings a week.
Besides these friends, there are those who are
willing to find the old man a home, "if anything
should happen to the old gal." "'Tis a sort o'
comfortin'," he says, "to think what good neighbours
I got;" but he hopes not to break up his home
yet. In an unconscious symbolism of his affection
for all the home things he bought this afternoon
a pennyworth of milk for the cat, who came running
to meet him on his return to the lonely cottage, and
then ran upstairs "to see if the old gal was there."
He will keep his home together if he may, with
warm feelings towards his neighbours. "But as
for these up here," and he points contemptuously
in the direction of the old woman's relatives,
"I dunno if they knows she's gone, and I shan't
trouble to tell 'em."
[So I wrote on the Saturday evening. Four clear
days pass, without any note about Bettesworth;
then on the following Thursday the narrative is
reopened. It is given here, unaltered.]
September 29.—Bettesworth's wife died at the
workhouse infirmary, about midnight of the 27th.
She had been unconscious since her admission,
and spoke only twice. Once she said, "Bring my
little box upstairs off the dresser, Fred;" the other
time it was, "Fred, have ye wound up the clock?"
These things were reported to him by the nurse,
when he reached the infirmary on Tuesday afternoon—the
usual afternoon for the admission of
visitors.
He had gone down then, with his niece Liz, to
see the old lady. And of course I heard the details
of the expedition when he came back. Stopping
at a greengrocer's in the town, he bought two ripe
pears, at three halfpence each. "Did ye ever
hear tell o' such a price for a pear? What 'd that
be for a bushel? Why, 't'd come to a pound!
But I said, 'I'll ha' the best.' Then I bought her
some sponge-cakes at the confectioner's;" and with
these delicacies he went to her.
She could not touch them. She lay with her
eyes open, but unconscious even of the flies, which
he, sitting beside, kept fanning from her face.
There was no recognition of him; so he asked which
was "her locker," proposing to leave the pears and
sponge-cakes there for her, on the chance of her
being able to enjoy them later. "Poor old lady,
she'll never want 'em," the nurse said; and he
replied, "Now I've brought 'em here I shan't take
'em back. Give 'em to some other poor soul that
can fancy 'em."
They gave him permission to stay as long as he
liked; but, said he, "I bid there an hour an' a
quarter, an' then I couldn't bide no longer. What
was the use, sir? She didn't know me." So at
last he came away, provided with a free pass, "to
go in at any hour o' the day or night he mind to."
Yesterday (Wednesday) morning he was about
his work here when a letter was brought to him.
It contained only a formal notice that "Lucy
Bettesworth was lying dangerously ill, and desired
to see him." Probably the notice was mercifully
designed to prepare him for the worse news it might
have told, but of course he did not know it, even if
that was the case. He left here at once, to go and
see his wife.
Between two and three hours afterwards he was
back again. "How is it?" I asked, guessing how
it was. "She's gone, sir"—and then he broke
down, sobbing, but only for a minute. He had
already ordered the coffin—"a nice box," he called
it. The remainder of the day was spent in getting
the death certificate and observing other formalities.
He had the knell rung, too. Nothing
would he neglect that would testify to his respect
for the partner he had lost; and I think in all this
he was partly animated by a savage resentment
towards her relatives, who had ignored her, and by
a resolved opposition to those who had contemned
his wife while she lived. "Everybody always bin
very good, to me," he has said, with significant
emphasis on the last word.
In the evening he had the corpse brought away
to his nephew Jack's. He also slept at Jack's, and
in numerous ways Jack is behaving well to him.
To spare the old man's weariness he spent the evening
in going to see about the insurance money; and
to-day it is Jack who is getting six other men to
carry the coffin at the funeral on Saturday.
This morning Bettesworth went to the Vicar to
arrange about the funeral. "He spoke very nice
to me," he said. Thence he was sent to the sexton,
near at hand; and soon he came to me to borrow a
two-foot rule, because the sexton wanted to know
the exact measurements of the coffin before digging
the grave; "and don't let's have any mistakes!"
he had said, for there had been a mistake not so
long ago, a grave having been dug too small for
the coffin.
Knowing Bettesworth's fumbling blindness, and
seeing him nervous, "Can you manage it?" I asked,
"or would you like me to go over and measure it
for you?" There was no hesitation: "It would
be a kindness, if you don't mind, sir...." I have
but just now returned.
I think I will not record particulars of that visit.
If I had not previously known it, I should have
known then that Bettesworth is—but there are no
fit epithets. Nothing sensational happened, nothing
extravagantly emotional. But all that he did and
said, so simple and unaffected and necessary, was
done as if it were an act of worship. No woman
could have been tenderer or more delicate than he,
when he drew the sheet back from the dead face,
to show me.... The coffin itself (because he is
so poor and so lonely)—a decent elm coffin—is a
kind of symbol, and so a comfort to him, enabling
him to testify to his unspoken feelings towards his
dead wife.
October 1.—I went to the funeral of Bettesworth's
wife this Saturday afternoon. In his decent black
clothes and with his grey hair the old man looked
very dignified, showing a quiet, unaffected patience.
There were but few people present: four or five
relatives besides the bearers and the undertaker
and sexton; while a young woman (Mrs. Porter)
with her little boy Tim stood in the background,
she carrying a wreath she had made. She is a near
neighbour to us, and a very impoverished one, to
whom the old man has shown what kindness has
been in his power; while she on many mornings has
called him into her cottage at breakfast time, to give
him a cup of hot tea.