LILIAN ASTONISHED—SO AM I.
IN spite of the doubts and fears which had disturbed
me, I was delighted with the English
basement house and already in anticipation I
enjoyed the surprise of Lilian, when I should tell
her that the beautiful home was her own. I
asked her to walk with me, but she was a little
fretful that day; somehow she seemed more like
“dear ma” than I had ever seen her before.
“I don’t want to walk to-day, Paley. I’m
tired,” she replied, with a languid air.
“I only wish to go a little way,” I added.
“Not to-day, Paley.”
“I want to show you a house, Lilian.”
“A house!” she exclaimed with something like
an abused expression on her beautiful face, as
though she half suspected the treason towards
“dear ma” which I was meditating.
“I saw a little English basement house in
Needham street, which I would like to have you
look at, just as a curiosity, you know,” I continued,
with as much indifference as I could
assume.
“Why do you wish me to see it, Paley?” she
asked, exhibiting more interest and apparently
forgetting that she was tired.
“Well, because I saw it, and liked the looks of
it. There can be no harm in seeing it.”
“I don’t know, Paley,” she answered, doubtfully;
but whatever suspicions she cherished, she
could have no idea of the truth, “We will go
some other day.”
“But we may not have the opportunity another
day. I happen to know that the house is open
to-day.”
What do you mean, Paley? You look just
as though you were planning something.”
“So I am. I am planning a little walk that
will not take half an hour of your time.”
“Something worse than that,” she added, shaking
her head.
“I was thinking that, some time or other, we
might possibly go to housekeeping.”
“Well, I suppose we shall, some time or other,”
she answered, languidly. “But I hope you are
not thinking of doing it yet awhile. I can’t bear
the thought of leaving dear ma; we are so pleasantly
situated here.”
To use a vulgar expression, “I did not see it.”
I was not wicked enough to attempt to prejudice
my darling against “dear ma,” and I felt obliged
to manage the matter with care. But, as the
shock could not long be deferred, I might as well
make some approaches.
“Of course we are situated pleasantly enough
here; but you know, Lilian, that you said we
must go to housekeeping.”
“Certainly, we must go to housekeeping in time,
but not yet.”
“But you know that your mother was kind
enough to take us to board only till we could
complete our arrangements. She is very obliging,
and I am very grateful to her for the favor; but
I don’t think it would be right for us to impose
ourselves upon her any longer than is absolutely
necessary.”
“O—well—of course not; but it will be very
hard for me to go away from home.”
“We need not go far; indeed, not so far but
that you can call upon her every day. My conscience
reproaches me when I think of the trouble
we are giving her.”
“She does not complain.”
“She will not complain, but at the same time
it is not right for us to remain here, under the
circumstances, any longer than we are compelled
to do so. You know she said she should not
think of taking any body else to board; and after
she has been so kind to us, we ought to be considerate
enough not to trespass upon her goodness.”
“I will speak to her about the matter; and if
she really does not wish to keep us, why, we’ll
leave,” added Lilian.
“But, my dear, you must not forget that she is
your mother, and that she will make any sacrifice
for your sake, even to her own great injury. It
is a matter of conscience with me; and I do not
feel like asking her to make this sacrifice of comfort
any longer than necessary. Our coming here
was only a temporary arrangement, you know,
and whatever she may say, our being here will
give her a great deal of trouble and anxiety.
Come, Lilian, dearest, put on your bonnet. It
will do no harm to look at the house. It is already
rented to a young couple who are just
going to housekeeping,” I continued; but I did
not think it necessary to say who the young
couple were, and she did not seem to care enough
about it to ask me.
“If the house is let, why do you wish me to
see it?” she inquired.
“I want to get at your ideas in regard to a
house,” I replied, ingeniously.
She looked at me, and seemed to have some
doubts, but she probably reasoned that the house
was already rented, and there could be no treason
against “dear ma” in merely looking at it. She
put on her bonnet and shawl. When my hand
was on the door the ever watchful Mrs. Oliphant
appeared, and wished to know whether we should
be back to tea.
We should; but this was not enough. Lilian
was not very well, and she must not walk too
far. We were only going around to Needham
street, and should return in half an hour. If
Lilian was going to call on the Trescotts, why
had she not told her mother, for both owed them
a call? We did not intend to call on the Trescotts;
we were only going out for a little walk.
If we were going to walk, why were we particular
in saying that we were going through Needham
street? There was some treason in Needham
street, and Lilian was forced to say that we desired
to see a house which was already leased to a
young couple who were going to housekeeping.
“Dear ma” looked uneasy, but she permitted
us to depart. I was afraid she would insist upon
accompanying us, as I think she would, had she
not been satisfied by the assurance that the
house was already leased. We walked to Needham
street. I was full of hope. Lilian would like
the English basement house—she could not help
liking it, and what a rapturous moment would it
be when I told her that it was all her own!
Even the anticipated battle with “dear ma”
seemed to be farther removed and of much
less consequence than before. We approached the
house, and my heart beat high with transports of
delight. In a few days, perhaps the very next
day, I should see the idol of my soul enthroned
within its walls!
With Lilian leaning lovingly on my arm, I
halted at No. 21. On the door, to my intense
confusion and disgust, glittered a new silver plate
whereon was inscribed the name,”P. Glasswood,”
not in Old English, German text, or any
other letter which he who runs may not often
read, but in plain script! I had told the maker
not to put it on the door for a week; but he had
misunderstood me, or had taken it upon himself to
defeat my plan.
“P. Glasswood!”—exclaimed dear Lilian, stunned
and horrified, so that the shock she had thrilled
my whole frame.
“Certainly; P. Glasswood,” I interposed, promptly.
“You know Pierce—don’t you, Lilian? I think
you saw him when we were at Springhaven. He
is only a second cousin of mine, but he is a good
fellow.”
“I didn’t know you had a cousin of that
name,” she replied, much comforted.
As I did not know it myself, I did not blame her
for not being aware of the circumstance. I opened
the door, and we went in, for I had already provided
myself with a night key—that gross metallic
sin against a wife. Of course the house and furniture
were at their best estate. Every thing
was new, nice and elegant. The hall gave the
first cheerful impression of the house, and Lilian
was delighted with it. The little sitting-room was
so cosy and snug that my wife actually cried out
with pleasure.
The parlors and the chambers were equally satisfactory,
and Lilian thought my cousin would be
very happy with his bride in this new house. We
proceeded to the kitchen, where the Biddy in
charge smiled benignantly upon her new “missus,”
though, she did not betray the secret she had been
instructed to keep. My wife was not so much
interested in the kitchen as in the parlor and sitting-room,
but she was kind enough to say that
every thing was neat and convenient, though I
am afraid she was hardly a judge on the latter
point. We returned to the sitting-room, and my
wife seated herself in the low rocking-chair which
had been selected for her use.
“How do you like it on the whole, Lilian?” I
asked, dropping into the arm-chair, in which I
intended to read the Transcript every evening.
“I think it is real nice,” she replied, with a
degree of enthusiasm which fully rewarded me for
all the pains I had taken, and the anxiety I had
suffered.
“I’m glad you like it, Lilian. I like it exceedingly,
and I am glad to find our tastes are one
and the same.”
“I don’t mean to say that, if I were going to
housekeeping, I wouldn’t have some things different,”
she added.
“But you think you could contrive to exist in
a house like this?”
“Why, yes; I like it very much indeed.”
“Then it is yours Lilian!” I added, rising from
my arm-chair, as I precipitated the climax upon
her.
“What do you mean, Paley?” she asked, bewildered
by my words.
“This house and all that it contains are ours,
dearest Lilian.”
“I thought you said it was your cousin’s.”
“So I did, Lilian; but that was only a little
fiction to aid me in giving you a delightful surprise.
This house is yours, my dear, and all that
it contains, including myself, and Biddy in the
kitchen.”
“Is it possible? Do you mean so, Paley?”
“I do; every word, syllable, letter and point,
including the crossing of the t’s and the dotting
of the i’s, of what I say is true. The house and
all that it contains are ours.”
“I don’t understand it.”
“Well, dearest, it is plain enough. Not only
to give you a pleasant surprise, but to save you
all trouble and anxiety, I have hired the house
and furnished it.”
“You have, Paley?”
“I have, dearest Lilian! How happy we shall
be in our new home.”
“I don’t think so!”
Certainly Lilian had been duly and properly
astonished. It was my turn now, and I was, if
possible, more astonished than she had been. She
did not think so! What an unwarrantable conclusion!
“You don’t think so, Lilian?” I added, interrogatively.
“No, I don’t! If you begin in this way we
can never be happy.”
“Why not?”
“In the first place, I don’t want to go to housekeeping
yet.”
“But I thought you did. The plan has been
from the beginning, since we could not get board
at the Revere or in Beacon Street, to go to housekeeping,”
I replied, with rather more sharpness
than I had ever before found it necessary to use
to dear Lilian.
She was evidently angry, and her eyes glowed
like diamonds in the sunlight. But she never
looked so pretty as she did at that moment when
her face was rouged with natural roses, and her
eyes appeared like a living soul.
“Do you think, Paley, that I want to go to
housekeeping in a little, narrow contracted box
like this?” she added.
“I thought you liked the house, dearest Lilian.”
“I like it very well for Mrs. Pierce Glasswood,
but not for Mrs. Paley Glasswood.”
“I am sorry you don’t like it, for it is too
late now to recede,” I replied, gasping for breath.
“I was sure it would please you.”
“It don’t!”
“What possible fault can you find with it?”
“It don’t suit me. How could you do such a
thing, Paley, as to hire a house and furnish it,
without saying a word to me?”
By this time I had come to the conclusion that
it was very stupid in me to do it.
“I wanted to surprise you.”
“Well, you have surprised me,” she snapped,
with such a sweet expression of contempt that I
was almost annihilated. “Do you think a lady
has no will of her own? No taste, no judgment,
no fancy? How could you be so ridiculous as to
furnish a house without asking my advice? Could
you have found a homelier carpet in Boston, if you
had looked for one, than this very carpet under
our feet?”
“Buckleton said it was the handsomest one in
the city, and the neatest pattern.”
“Then Buckleton has no taste. No one can
select a carpet for a woman. What did you put
that cold oil-cloth on the entry for? I should
think you imported it from the polar regions on
purpose to give me a chill every time I see it!
The figure in the parlor carpet is large enough
for a room a hundred feet square. That great
blundering tete-a-tete is fit for a bar-room, but
not for a parlor. There is no end to the absurdities
in this house.”
“Now, really, dearest Lilian, I was sure you
would be pleased with every thing,” I pleaded.
“You are a stupid, Paley Glasswood.”
I agreed with her.
“I am very sorry, Lilian; but I did everything
with the hope of pleasing you.”
“Now here’s a pretty kettle of fish!” exclaimed
my indignant bride. “What can we do?”
“I can’t alter the house, my dear, but I can
change the furniture so as to suit you, though
doing so will be very expensive,” I continued,
meekly, as I endeavored to conciliate her.
We had been married only about four months,
and the present occasion looked very much like a
quarrel. I had not had the remotest suspicion that
she was so spunky. It did occur to me that she
was slightly unreasonable, if one so beautiful
could be unreasonable. Her father was as poor
as a church mouse. His house, as I have hinted,
was meanly furnished, and certainly neither the
house nor the furniture was worthy to be compared
with the one I had provided for my little
wife. She had no reason for putting on airs, and
being so fiercely critical about the carpets and the
chairs. They were vastly better than she had
ever had at home.
“Do you think I will live in this house, Paley
Glasswood?” said she, with her lips compressed
and her eyes snapping with indignation.
“Why, I hope so,” I replied, more astonished
than she had been at any time during the visit to
the new house.
“You are mistaken, Paley Glasswood. I am
your wife, but not your slave; I am not to be
dragged from my home when and where you
please. You ought to have told me what you
intended to do in the beginning.”
“I know it now; and I confess that I was
wrong,” I replied, with due humility, and, I may
add, with perfect sincerity. “I hope you will
forgive me, this time Lilian, and I will never be
guilty of such an offence again.”
“I should hope not. But here we are! What’s
to be done with this house and furniture?”
“Why, my dear, won’t you go to housekeeping
with me?”
“Certainly not, in this house,” she answered,
with a flourish.
This announcement was very startling to me.
It was appalling to think that I had expended
fifteen hundred in preparing a cage which the
bird refused to occupy. Intensely as I loved,
adored Lilian, I could not help seeing that she
was developing a trait of character which I did
not like. But I was a politic man, and seeing
how useless it was to attempt to argue the matter
while she was in her present frame of mind,
I had to keep still. We left the house and
walked home. For the first time since we were
married she declined to take my arm, and I began
to be very miserable. Somehow it seemed to me
that the meeker I was, and the more I deprecated
her wrath, the greater became her objection to
the house.
“What shall I say to dear ma?” demanded
Lilian, after she had thrown off her things.
“My dear, you need not say a word to her. I
will do all this unpleasant business myself,” I
replied. “You can lay all the blame upon me.
I will tell her that we are going to our new house
to-morrow.”
“You needn’t tell her any such thing, for I
am not.”
Before we had proceeded any farther with the
discussion Mrs. Oliphant entered the room. The
battle was imminent.