Not the least delightful of Sir Robert's qualities was his capacity for
enjoying most things that came in his way, and finding some interest in
all. When Mr. Ketchum joined him in the library, where he was jotting
down "the sobriquets of the American States and cities," and told him
of the Niagara plan, his ruddy visage beamed with pleasure.
"A delightful idea. Capital," he said. "I suppose I can read up a bit
about it before we start, and not go there with my eyes shut.
Ni-a-ga-rah,—monstrously soft and pretty name. Isn't there something on
your shelves that would give me the information I want? But we can come
to that presently. Just now I want to find out, if I can, how these
nicknames came to be given. They must have originated in some great
popular movement, eh? I thought I saw my way, as, for example, the
'Empire State' and the 'Crescent City' and some others, but this 'Sucker
State,' now, and 'Buckeye' business,—what may that mean in plain
English?"
Mr. Ketchum shed what light he could on these interesting questions, and
Sir Robert thoughtfully ran his hands through his side-whiskers, while,
with an apologetic "One moment, I beg," or "Very odd, very; that must go
down verbatim," he entered the gist of Mr. Ketchum's queer remarks in
his note-book.
On the following morning he rose with Niagara in his soul. He had more
questions to ask at the breakfast-table than anybody could answer, and
was eager to be off. Mr. Ketchum, who had that week made no less than
fifty thousand dollars by a lucky investment, was in high spirits.
Captain Kendall, who had been allowed to join the party, was vastly
pleased by the prospect of another week in Ethel's society. Mrs. Sykes
was tired of Fairfield, and longed to be "on the move" again, as she
frankly said. So that, altogether, it was a merry company that finally
set off.
The very first view of "the ocean unbound" increased their pleasure to
enthusiasm. Mrs. Sykes, without reservation, admitted that it was "a
grand spot," and felt as though she were giving the place a certificate
when she added, "Quite up to the mark." She was out on the Suspension
Bridge, making a sketch, as soon as she could get there; she took one
from every other spot about the place; and when tired of her pencil, she
stalked about with her hammer, chipping off bits of rock that promised
geological interest. But she found her greatest amusement in the brides
that "infested the place" (to quote from her letter to her sister
Caroline), indulged in much satirical comment on them, and,
choosing one foolish young rustic who was there as her text, wrote in
her diary, "American brides like to go from the altar to some large
hotel, where they can display their finery, wear their wedding-dresses
every evening, and attract as much attention as possible. The national
passion for display makes them delight in anything that renders them
conspicuous, no matter how vulgar that display may be. If one must have
a fools' paradise, generally known as a honeymoon, this is about as
pleasant a place as any other for it; and, as there are several runaway
couples stopping here, and the place is just on the border, this is
doubtless the American Gretna Green, where silly women and
temporarily-infatuated men can marry in haste, to repent at leisure."
Mr. Heathcote gave his camera enough to do, as may be imagined. He and
Sir Robert traced the Niagara River from Lake Erie to Lake Ontario, and
photographed it at every turn, made careful estimates of its length,
breadth, depth, the flow of currents, scale of descent to the mile, wear
of precipice, and time necessary for the river to retire from the falls
business altogether and meander tranquilly along on a level like other
rivers. They arrayed themselves in oil-skin suits and spent an
unconscionable time at the back of the Horseshoe Fall, roaring out
observations about it that were rarely heard, owing to the deafening
din, and had more than one narrow escape from tumbling into the water in
these expeditions. They carefully bottled some of it, which they
afterward carefully sealed with red wax and duly labelled, intending to
add it to a collection of similar phials which Sir Robert had made of
famous waters in many countries. They went over the mills and factories
in the neighborhood, and Sir Robert had long confabs with the managers,
of whom he asked permission to "jot down" the interesting facts
developed in the course of their conversations, surprising them by his
knowledge of mechanics and the subjects in hand.
"Man alive! what do you want with those?" said he to one of them, a
keen-faced young fellow, who was showing him the boiler-fires. He
pointed with his stick as he spoke, and rattled it briskly about the
brick-work by way of accompaniment as he went on: "Such a waste of
force, of money! downright stupidity! You don't want it. You don't need
it, any more than you need an hydraulic machine tacked to the back of
your trains. You have got water enough running past your very door to—"
"I've told that old fool Glass that a thousand times," broke in the
young man; "but if he wants to try and warm and light the world with a
gas-stove when the sun is up I guess it's no business of mine, though it
does rile me to see the power thrown away and good coal wasted. If I had
the capital, here's what I'd do. Here."
Seizing Sir Robert's stick, the enthusiast drew a fondly-loved ideal
mill in the coal-dust at his feet, while Sir Robert looked and listened,
differed, suggested, with keen interest, and Mr. Heathcote gave but
haughty and ignorant attention to the talk that followed.
"Yes, that's the way of it; but Glass has lived all his life with his
head in a bag, and he can't see it. I am surprised to see you take an
interest in it. Ever worked at it?" said the man in conclusion.
"A little," said Sir Robert affably, who could truthfully have said as
much of anything. "Who is this Glass?"
"Oh, he's the man that owns all this; the stupidest owl that ever lived.
I wish he could catch on like you. I'd like very well to work with you,"
was the reply.
"A bumptious fellow, that," commented Mr. Heathcote when they left.
"He'd 'like to work with you,' indeed!"
"A fellow with ideas. I'd like to work with him," replied his uncle;
"though he isn't burdened with respect for his employers."
Miss Noel meanwhile tied on her large straw hat, took her cane, basket,
trowel, tin box, and, followed by Parsons with her
sketching-apparatus, went off to hunt plants or wash in sketches, a most
blissfully occupied and preoccupied old lady.
To Mr. Ketchum's great amusement, Miss Noel, Mrs. Sykes, and Mr.
Heathcote all arrived at a particular spot within a few moments of each
other one morning, all alike prepared and determined to get the view it
commanded.
Miss Noel had said to Job en route, "Do you think that I shall be able
to get a fly and drive about the country a bit? I should so like it. Are
they to be had there?"
And he had replied, "You will have some difficulty in not taking 'a
fly' there, I guess. The hackmen would rather drive your dead body
around town for nothing than let you enjoy the luxury of walking about
unmolested. But I will see to all that."
Accordingly, a carriage had been placed at their disposal, and they had
taken some charming drives, in the course of which Parsons, occupying
the box on one occasion, was seen to be peering very curiously about
her.
"A great pity, is it not, Parsons, that we can't see all this in the
autumn, when the thickets of scarlet and gold are said to be so very
beautiful?" said Miss Noel, addressing her affably.
"Yes, mem," agreed Parsons. "And, if you please, mem, where are the
estates of the gentry, as I 'ave been lookin' for ever since we came
hover?"
"Not in this part," replied Miss Noel. "The red Indians were here not
very long since. You should really get a pin-cushion of their
descendants, those mild, dirty creatures that work in bark and beads.
Buy of one that has been baptized: one shouldn't encourage them to
remain heathens, you know. Your friends in England will like to see
something made by them; and they were once very powerful and spread all
over the country as far as—as—I really forget where; but I know they
were very wild and dreadful, and lived in wigwams, and wore moccasins."
"Oh, indeed, mem!" responded Parsons, impressed by the extent of her
mistress's information.
"A wigwam is three upright poles, such as the gypsies use for their
kettles, thatched with the leaves of the palm and the plantain," Miss
Noel went on. "Dear me! It is very odd! I certainly remember to have
read that; but perhaps I am getting back to the Southern Americans
again, which does so vex Robert. I wonder if one couldn't see a wigwam
for one's self? It can't be plantain, after all: there is none growing
about here."
She asked Mabel about this that evening, and the latter told her husband
how Miss Noel was always mixing up the two continents.
"I don't despair, Mabel. They will find this potato-patch of ours after
a while," he said good-humoredly.
But he was less amiable when Mrs. Sykes said at dinner next day, "I
should like to try your maize. Quite simply boiled, and eaten with
butter and salt, I am told it is quite good, really. I have heard that
the Duke of Slumborough thought it excellent."
"You don't say so! I am so glad to hear it! I shall make it generally
known as far as I can. Such things encourage us to go on trying to make
a nation of ourselves. It would have paralyzed all growth and
development in this country for twenty years if he had thought it
'nasty,'" said Job. "Foreigners can't be too particular how they express
their opinions about us. Over and over again we have come within an ace
of putting up the shutters and confessing that it was no use pretending
that we could go on independently having a country of our own, with
distinct institutions, peculiarities, customs, manners, and even
productions. It would be so much better and easier to turn ourselves
over to a syndicate of distinguished foreigners who would govern us
properly,—stamp out ice-water and hot rolls from the first, as unlawful
and not agreeing with the Constitution, give us cool summers, prevent
children from teething hard, make it a penal offence to talk through the
nose, and put a bunch of Bourbons in the White House, with a
divine right to all the canvas-back ducks in the country. There are so
many kings out of business now that they could easily give us a bankrupt
one to put on our trade dollar, or something really sweet in emperors
who have seen better days. And a standing army of a hundred thousand
men, all drum-majors, in gorgeous uniforms, helmets, feathers, gold
lace, would certainly scare the Mexicans into caniptious and
unconditional surrender. The more I think of it, the more delightful it
seems. It is mere stupid obstinacy our people keeping up this farce of
self-government, when anybody can see that it is a perfect failure, and
that the country has no future whatever."
"Oh, you talk in that way; but I don't think you would really like it,"
said Mrs. Sykes. "Americans seem to think that they know everything:
they are above taking any hints from the Old World, and get as angry as
possible with me when I point out a few of the more glaring defects that
strike me."
"I am surprised at that. Our great complaint is that we can't get any
advice from Europeans. If we only had a little, even, we might in time
loom up as a fifth-rate power. But no: they leave us over here in this
wilderness without one word of counsel or criticism, or so much as a
suggestion, and they ought not to be surprised that we are going to the
dogs. What else can they expect?" said Mr. Ketchum.
"Husband, dear, you were very sharp with my cousin to-day, and it was
not like you to show temper,—at least, not temper exactly, but
vexation," said Mabel to him afterward in mild rebuke. "She has told me
that you quite detest the English, so that she wonders you should have
married me. And I said that you were far too intelligent and just to
cherish wrong feelings toward any people, much less my people."
"Well, if she represented England I should drop England quietly over
the rapids some day when I could no longer stand her infernal
patronizing, impertinent airs, and rid the world of a nuisance," said
Mr. Ketchum, with energy. "Excuse my warmth, but that woman would poison
a prairie for me. Fortunately, I happen to know that she only represents
a class which neither Church nor State there has the authority to shoot,
yet, and I am not going to cry down white wool because there are black
sheep. Look at Sir Robert, and Miss Noel, and all the rest of them, how
different they are."
Captain Kendall certainly found Niagara delightful, for, owing to the
absorption of the party in their different pursuits, he was able to see
more of Ethel than he had ever done. He was so different from the men
she had known that he was a continual study to her. Instead of the
studied indifference, shy avoidance, shy advances, culminating in a
blunt and straightforward declaration of "intentions," which she would
have thought natural in an admirer, followed by transparent, honest
delight in the event of acceptance, or manly submission to the
inevitable in the event of rejection, Captain Kendall had surprised her
by liking her immediately, or at least by showing that he did, and
seeking her persistently, without any pretence of concealment. He talked
to her of politics, of social questions in the broadest sense, of books,
scientific discoveries, his travels, and the travels of others. He read
whole volumes of poetry to her. He discoursed by the hour on the manly
character, its faults, merits, peculiarities, and possibilities, and
then contrasted it with the womanly one, trait for trait, and it seemed
to her that women had never been praised so eloquently,
enthusiastically, copiously. At no time was he in the least choked by
his feelings or at a loss for a fresh word or sentiment. Such romance,
such ideality, such universality, as it were, she had never met. When
his admiration was most unbridled it seemed to be offered to her as the
representative of a sex entirely perfect and lovely. Everything in
heaven and earth, apparently, ministered to his passion and made him
talk all around the beloved subject with a wealth of simile and
suggestion that she had never dreamed of. But, if he gave full
expression to his agitated feelings in these ways, he was extremely
delicate, respectful, reserved, in others. He wrapped up his heart in so
many napkins, indeed, that, being a practical woman not extraordinarily
gifted in the matter of imagination, she frequently lost sight of it
altogether, and she sometimes failed to follow him in a broad road of
sentiment that (like the Western ones which Longfellow has described)
narrowed and narrowed until it disappeared, a mere thread, up a tree. If
he looked long, after one of these flights, at her sweet English face to
see what impression he had made, he was often forced to see that it was
not the one he had meant to make at all.
"Is anything amiss?" she asked once, in her cool, level tone, fixing
upon him her sincerely honest eyes. "Are there blacks on my nose?"
Although she had distinctly refused him at Kalsing, as became a girl
destitute of vanity and coquetry and attached to some one else, she had
not found him the less fluent, omnipresent, persuasive, at Niagara. It
was diverting to see them seated side by side on Goat Island, he waving
his hand toward the blue sky, apostrophizing the water, the foliage, the
clouds, and what not, in prose and verse, quite content if he but got a
quiet glance and assenting word now and then, she listening demurely in
a state of protestant satisfaction, her fair hair very dazzling in the
sunshine, an unvarying apple-blossom tint in her calm face, her fingers
tatting industriously not to waste the time outright. It was very
agreeable in a way, she told herself, but something must really be done
to get rid of the man. And so, one morning when they chanced to be
alone, and he was being unusually ethereal and beautiful in his remarks,
telling her that, as Byron had said, she would be "the morning star of
memory" for him, she broke in squarely, "That is all very nice; very
pretty, I am sure. But I do hope you quite understand that I have not
the least idea of marrying you. There is no use in going on like this,
you know, and you would have a right to reproach me if I kept silent and
led you to think that I was being won over by your fine speeches. You
see, you don't really want a star at all. You want a wife; though
military men, as a rule, are better off single. I do thank you heartily
for liking me for myself, and all that, and I shall always remember the
kind things you have done, and our acquaintance, but you must put me
quite out of your head as a wife. I should not suit you at all. You
would have to leave the American service, and I should hate feeling I
had tied you down, and I couldn't contribute a penny toward the
household expenses, and, altogether, we are much better apart. It would
not answer at all. So, thank you again for the honor you have conferred
upon me, and be—be rather more—like other people, won't you, for the
future? Auntie fancies that I am encouraging you, and is getting very
vexed about it. Perhaps you had better go away? Yes, that would be best,
I think."
Thus solicited, Captain Kendall went away, taking a mournfully-eloquent
farewell of Ethel, which she thought final; but in this she was
mistaken.
Our party did not linger long after this. Sir Robert met a titled
acquaintance, who inflamed his mind so much about Manitoba that he
decided to go to Canada at once, taking Miss Noel, Ethel, and Mr.
Heathcote; Mrs. Sykes had taken up on her first arrival with some New
York people, who asked her to visit them in the central part of the
State,—which disposed of her; Mabel was secretly longing to get back to
her "American child," as Mrs. Sykes called little Jared Ponsonby; and
they separated, with the understanding that they should meet again
before the English guests left the country, and with a warm liking for
each other, the Sykes not being represented in the pleasant covenants of
friendship formed.
"I am glad that we have not to bid Ketchum good-by here," said Sir
Robert. "Such a hearty, genial fellow! And how kind he has been to us!
His hospitality is the true one; not merely so much food and
drink and moneyed outlay for some social or selfish end, but the
entertainment of friends because they are friends, with every possible
care for their pleasure and comfort, and the most unselfish willingness
to do anything that can contribute to either. I am afraid he would not
find many such hosts as himself with us. We entertain more than the
Americans, but I do not think we have as much of the real spirit of
hospitality as a nation. The relation between host and guest is less
personal, there is little sense of obligation, or rather sacredness, on
either side, and the convenience, interest, or amusement of the
Amphitryon is more apt to be considered, as a general thing, than the
pleasure of the guest: at least this has been growing more and more the
case in the last twenty years, as our society has broken away from old
traditions and levelled all its barriers, to the detriment of our social
graces, not to speak of our morals and manners. As for that charmingly
gentle, sweet woman Mrs. Ketchum, it is my opinion that we are not
likely to improve on that type of Englishwoman. A modest, simple,
religious creature, a thorough gentlewoman, and a devoted wife and
mother. My cousin Guy Rathbone is engaged to a specimen of a new
variety,—one of the 'emancipated,' forsooth; a woman who has a
betting-book instead of a Bible and plays cards all day Sunday. He tells
me that she is wonderfully clever, and that it is all he can do to keep
her from running about the kingdom delivering lectures on Agnosticism;
as if one wanted one's wife to be a trapesing, atheistical
Punch-and-Judy! And the fellow seemed actually pleased and flattered. He
told me that she had 'an astonishing grasp of such subjects' and was
'attracting a great deal of attention.' And I told him that if I had a
wife who attracted attention in such ways I would lock her up until she
came to her senses and the public had forgotten her want of modesty and
discretion. This ought to be called the Age of Fireworks. The craze for
notoriety is penetrating our very almshouses, and every toothless old
mumbler of ninety wants to get himself palmed off as a centenarian in
the papers and have a lot of stuff printed about him."
"I see what you mean, Robert," said Miss Noel, "and it certainly cannot
be wholesome for women to thirst for excitement, and one would think a
lady would shrink from being conspicuous in any way; but things are very
much changed, as you say. And I agree with you in your estimate of the
Ketchums. She is a sweet young thing, and I heartily like him. Only
think! his last act was to send a great basket of fine fruits up to my
room, and quite an armful of railway-novels for the journey. Such
beautiful thought for our comfort as they have shown!"
"He is rather a good sort in some ways, but a very ignorant man. I
showed him some of my specimens the other day, and he thought them
granitic, when they were really Silurian mica schist of some kind," put
in Mrs. Sykes, who never could bear unqualified praise. "Still, on the
whole, the Americans are less ignorant than might have been expected."
"I consider Mr. Ketchum a most kind, gentlemanly, sociable, clever
man," said Miss Noel, with an emphatic nod of her head to each
adjective, "geology or no geology. And I must say that it is very
ungrateful of you to speak of him so sneeringly always."
Sir Robert only waited to write the usual batch of letters, including a
last appeal to the editor of the "Columbia Eagle" to know whether he
intended to apologize for and publicly retract a certain article, and
asking "whether it was possible that any considerable or respectable
portion of the Americans could be so arbitrary, illiberal, and exclusive
as to wish to exclude the English from America." This done, he left for
Canada with his relatives. With his stay there we have nothing to do. It
consumed six weeks of exhaustive travel and study of Canadian conditions
and resources, resulting ultimately in the conclusion that
Manitoba was not the place he was looking for. The ladies, who had been
left in Montreal, were then taken for a short tour through the country,
which they all enjoyed, after which Sir Robert asked Miss Noel whether
she would be willing to take Ethel back to Niagara and wait there a
fortnight, or perhaps a little longer, while he and Mr. Heathcote came
back by way of New England and from there went down into Maryland and
Virginia, where, according to "a member of the Canadian Parliament,"
lands were to be had for a song.
"A fortnight? I could spend a twelve-month there," exclaimed she. "Had
it not been that I was ashamed to insist upon being let off this
journey, I should have stopped there as it was."
To Niagara the aunt and niece and Parsons went, as agreed, and there
they found Mr. Bates wandering languidly about the place in chronic
discontent with everything for not being something else. He had burned a
good deal of incense on Ethel's shrine when she was at Kalsing, and now
hailed their advent with some approach to enthusiasm, and attached
himself to their suite, vice Captain Kendall, retired. He liked to be
seen with them, thought the views from the Canadian side were "deucedly
fine," was cruelly affected by the advertisements in the neighborhood,
which he denounced as "dreadfully American," trickled out much feeble
criticism of and acid comment on his surroundings, gave utterance to
fervent wishes that he was "abrard," and in his own unpleasant way gave
Ethel to understand that she might make a fellow-countryman happy by
becoming Mrs. Samuel Bates if she liked to avail herself of a golden
opportunity. "I would live in England, you know. I am really far more at
home there than here," said the expatriated suitor. "I have been taken
for an Englishman as often as three times in one week, do you know.
Curious, isn't it? I ought to be down in Kent now, visiting Lady
Simpson, a great friend of mine, who has asked me there again and again.
You would like her if you knew her. She is quite the great lady down
there."
"A foolish little man, and evidently a great snob, or else rather daft
upon some points," Ethel reported to her aunt. "And such a dull,
discontented creature, with all his money!" Ethel had some trials of her
own just then, and it was no great felicity to listen to Mr. Bates's
endless complaints, nor could she spare much sympathy for the sufferings
of the exile of Tecumseh, with his rose-leaf sensibilities, inanities,
absurdities.
Meanwhile, the young gentleman who was indirectly responsible for many a
sad thought of two charming girls that we know of—and who shall say how
many more?—was enjoying as much happiness as ever fell to any man in
the capacity of ardent sportsman. He had joined the duke and his party
at St. Louis, and from there they had gone "well away from anywhere," as
he said in describing his adventures to Mr. Heathcote. He had at last
reached the ideal spot of all his wildest imaginations and most
cherished hopes,—"the wild part,"—really the great prairies, about two
hundred miles west of the Mississippi and east of the Rockies. The dream
of his life was being fulfilled. He related, in a style not conspicuous
for literary merit, but very well suited to the simple annals of the
rich, how, having first procured guides, tents, ambulances,
camp-equipage, they had pushed on briskly to a military fort, where,
having made friends with "a pleasant, gentlemanly set of fellows," the
commanding officer, "a friendly old buffer," had courteously given them
an escort to protect them from "those dirty, treacherous brutes, the
Indians." Not a joy was wanting in this crowning bliss. The guide was "a
wonderful chap named Big-Foot Williams, so called by the Indians, good
all around from knocking over a rabbit to tackling a grizzly," with an
amazing knowledge of woodcraft, "a nose like a bloodhound, an eye as
cool as a toad's." No special mention was made of his ear; but the first
time he got off his horse and applied it to the earth,
listening for the tramp of distant hoofs in a hushed silence, one bosom
could hardly hold all the rapture that filled Mr. Ramsay's figurative
cup up to the brim. And the tales he told of savageness long drawn out
were as dew to the parched herb, greedily absorbed at every pore. A
portrait of "Black Eagle," a noted chief, was given when they got among
the Indians,—"a great hulking slugger of a savage, awfully interesting,
long, reaching step, magnificent muscles, snake eye, could thrash us all
in turn if he liked. The best of the lot."
Even the noble red man was not insensible to the charms of this
graceful, handsome young athlete who smiled at them perpetually and
said, "Amigo! amigo!" at short intervals,—a phrase suggested by the
redoubtable Williams and varied occasionally by a prefix of his own,
"Muchee amigo!" The way in which he tested the elasticity of their
bows, inspected their guns, the game they had killed, the other natural
objects about them, aroused a certain sympathy, perhaps. At any rate,
they were soon teaching him their mode of using the most picturesquely
murderous of all weapons, and Black Eagle offered, through the
interpreter, to give him a mustang and a fine wolf-skin. The pony was
declined, the skin accepted, a quid pro quo being bestowed on the
chief in the shape of one of Mr. Ramsay's breech-loaders, a gift that
made the snake eyes glitter. But what earthly return can be made for
some friendly offices? Could a thousand guns be considered as an
adequate payment for the delirious thrill that Mr. Ramsay felt when he
shot an arrow straight through the neck of a big buffalo, and, wheeling,
galloped madly away, like the hero of one of his favorite stories? Was
not the duke, who "knew a thing or two about shooting" and had hunted
the noble bison in Lithuania, almost as much delighted as though he had
done it himself? Is it any wonder that these intoxicating pleasures were
all-sufficient for the time to Mr. Ramsay? Perhaps Thekla would have
been forgotten by her Max, and Romeo would never have sighed and died
for love of Juliet, if those interesting lovers had ceased from wooing
and gone a-hunting of the buffalo instead. Not the most deadly and cruel
pangs of the most unfortunate attachment could have taken away all the
zest from such an occupation, provided they had had what the Mexican
journals call the "corazon de los sportsmans." Youth, strength,
courage, skill, exercised in a vagabondage that has all the nomadic
charm without any of its drawbacks, are apt to sponge the old figures
off the slate of life, leaving a teary smear, perhaps, to show where
they have been, and room for fresh problems. At night over the camp-fire
Mr. Ramsay gave a few pensive thoughts to the girl who regularly put two
handkerchiefs under her pillow to receive the tears that welled out
copiously when she was at last alone and unobserved after a day of
virtuous hypocrisy. Poor child! The pain was very real, and the tears
were bitter and salty enough, though they were to be dried in due time.
If he had known of them, perhaps he might have kept awake a little
longer; but when he wasn't sleepy he was hungry, and when he wasn't
hungry he was tired, and when he wasn't tired he was too actively
employed to think of anything but the business in hand. Happily, at
five-and-twenty it is perfectly possible to postpone being miserable
until a more convenient season; and, though he would have denied it
emphatically afterward, he certainly thought only occasionally of Bijou
at this period, and of Ethel not at all.
Miss Noel heard very regularly from Mrs. Sykes all this while; and that
energetic traveller had not been idle. She had made her new friends
"take her about tremendously," she said. She had seen all the large
towns in that part of the country, and thought them "very ugly and
monotonously commonplace, but prosperous-looking,—like the
inhabitants." The scenery she had found "far too uninteresting to repay
the bother of sketching it." But she had made a few pictures of
"the views most cracked up in the White Mountains,"—where she had
been,—"a sort of second-hand Switzerland of a place; really nothing
after the Himalayas, but made a great fuss over by the Americans." She
described with withering scorn a drive she took there.
"We came suddenly one day upon a party in a kind of Cheap-Jack van," she
wrote,—"gayly-dressed people, tricked off in smart finery, and larking
like a lot of Ramsgate tradesmen on the public road. One of the impudent
creatures made a trumpet of his great ugly fist and spelt out the name
of the hotel at which they were stopping, and then put his hand to his
ear, as if to listen for the response. Expecting me to tell them
anything about myself! But I flatter myself that I was a match for them.
I just got out my umbrella and shot it up in their very faces as we
passed, in a way not to be mistaken. And—would you believe it?—the
rude wretches called out, 'The shower is over now! and 'What's the price
of starch?' and roared with laughing." A highly-colored description of "a
visit to a great Dissenting stronghold, Marbury Park," followed: "I was
immensely curious to see one of these characteristic national
exhibitions of hysteria, ignorance, superstition, and immorality, called
a 'camp-meeting.' to which the Americans of all classes flock annually
by the thousands, so I quite insisted upon being taken to one, though my
friends would have got out of it if they could. I fancy they were very
ashamed of it; and they had need to be. I will not attempt to describe
it in detail here,—you will hear what I have said of it in my
diary,—but a more glaringly vulgar, intensely American performance you
can't fancy. I have made a number of sketches of the grounds, the tents
and tent-life, with the people bathing and dressing and all that in the
most exposed manner; of the pavilion, where the roaring and ranting is
done; and of the great revivalist who was holding forth when I got
there, and who had got such a red face and seemed so excited that it is
my belief he was regularly screwed, though my friends denied it, of
course. With such a preacher, you can 'realize,' as they say, what the
people were like. A regular Derby-day crowd having a religious
saturnalia,—that is what it is. It would not be allowed at home, I am
sure. Disgusting! One can't wonder at the state of society in America
when one sees what their religion is. An unpleasant incident occurred to
me while sketching in the pavilion, that shows what I have often pointed
out to you,—the radicalism and odious impertinence of this people. I
was just putting the finishing-touches to my picture of the Rev. (?)
'Galusha Wickers' (the revivalist: such names as these Americans have!),
when I heard a voice behind me saying, 'Lor! Why, that's splendid!
perfectly splendid! Well, I declare, you've got him to a t. Lemmy see.'
And, if you please, a hand was thrust over my shoulder and the sketch
seized, without so much as a 'By your leave.' Can you fancy a more
unwarrantable, insufferable liberty? But they are all alike over here. I
turned about, and saw a woman who was examining the reverend revivalist
with much satisfaction. 'Well, you have got him, to be sure,' she
said, returning my angry glance with one of admiration, and quite
unabashed. 'What'll you take for it? I've sat under him for five years;
and for taking texteses from one end of the Bible to the other, and
leading in prayer, and filling the mourners' bench in five minutes, I
will say he hasn't got his equal in the universe. He's got a towering
intellect, I tell you. I'll give you fifty cents for this, if you'll
color it up nice for me and throw in a frame.' Of course I took the
picture away from the brazen creature and told her what I thought of her
conduct. 'Well, you air techy,' she said, and walked off leisurely."
Before closing her letter, Mrs. Sykes remarked of her hostess, "Quite
good for nothing physically, and absurdly romantic. She has been abroad
a good deal, and bores me dreadfully with her European reminiscences.
She is always talking in a foolish, rapturous sort of way about
'dear Melrose,' or 'noble Tintern Abbey,' or 'enchanting Warwick
Castle;' and she has read simply libraries of books about England, and
puts me through a sort of examination about dozens of places and events,
as though I could carry all England about in my head. I really know less
of it than of most other countries: there is nothing to be got by
running about it. If one knew every foot of it, everybody would think it
a matter of course; but to be able to talk of Siam and the Fiji Islands,
Cambodia and Alaska, and the like, is really an advantage in society.
One gets the name of being a great traveller, and all that, and is asked
about tremendously and taken up to a wonderful extent. I know a man that
didn't wish to go to the trouble and expense of rambling all over the
world, and wanted the reputation of having done it, so he went into
lodgings at intervals near the British Museum and got all the books that
were to be had about a particular country, and, having read them, would
come back to the West End and give out that he had been there. It
answered beautifully for a while, and he was by way of being asked to
become a Fellow of the Royal Geographical, and was thought quite an
authority and wonderfully clever; but somehow he got found out, which
must have been a nuisance and spoiled everything. I can see that these
people consider it quite an honor to have me visit them, all because of
my having been around the world, I dare say. And of course I have let
them see that I know who is who and what is what. They are imploring me
to stay on; but I told them yesterday that it wouldn't suit my book at
all to stay over two weeks longer, when I had seen all there was to see.
That young Ramsay seems to be enjoying himself out there among those
nasty savages; and, as hunting is about the only thing he is fit for, he
had best stay out there altogether."
The unwritten history of Mrs. Sykes's visit to Marbury Park would have
been more interesting than the account she gave. She took with her a
camp-chair, which she placed in any and every spot that suited her or
commanded the pictorial situations which she wished to make her own
permanently. To the horror and surprise of her friends, she plumped it
down immediately in front of Mr. Wickers (after marching past an immense
congregation), and, wholly unembarrassed by her conspicuous position,
settled herself comfortably, took out her block and pencil, and
proceeded to jot down that worthy's features line upon line, as though
he had been a newly-imported animal at the "Zoo" on exhibition, paying
no attention to the precept upon precept he was trying to impress upon
his audience.
She walked all over the place repeatedly, went poking and prying into
such tents as she chanced to find empty, nor considered this an
essential requisite to the conferring of this honor. When less sociably
inclined, she established herself outside, close at hand, and in this
way made those valuable observations and spirited drawings which
subsequently enriched her diary and delighted a discerning British
public. But this is anticipating. When she tired of New York, she wrote
to Sir Robert that she wished to give as much time as possible to the
Mormons, and would leave at once for Salt Lake City, where she would
busy herself in laying bare the domestic system as it really existed,
and hold herself in readiness to join the party again when they should
arrive there en route to the Yosemite.
Sir Robert, being an heroic creature, felt that he could bear this
temporary separation with fortitude, and, being about to start for
Boston when he got the news, forthwith threw himself upon the New
England States in a frenzied search for all the information to be had
about them,—their exact geographical position, by whom discovered, when
settled, climate, productions, population, principal towns and rivers.
He studied three maps of the region as he rattled along in the
south-bound train, and devoted the rest of the time to getting an
outline of its history: so that his nephew found him but an indifferent
companion.
"I suppose there are authorized maps and charts, geographical,
hydrographical, and topographical, issued by the government, and to be
seen at the libraries. I must get a look at them at once. These are
amateur productions, the work of irresponsible men, contradicting each
other in important particulars as to the relative positions of places,
and inaccurate in many respects, as I find by comparison," he said,
emerging from a prolonged study of his authorities. "You don't seem to
take much interest in all this. You should be at the pains to inform
yourself upon every possible point in connection with this country, or
any other in which you may find yourself; else why travel at all?"
Mr. Heathcote, not having his uncle's thirst for information, was
reading a French novel at the time, and did not attempt to defend his
position, knowing it probably to be indefensible.
Before getting to Boston the air turned very chill, and a fine,
penetrating rain set in that for a while disturbed the student of
American history with visions of rheumatism. "God bless my soul! I shall
be laid by the heels here for weeks. Damp is the one thing that I can't
stand up against. And I have not left my coat out!" he exclaimed,
tugging anxiously at his side-whiskers and annoyed to find how dependent
he had grown on his valet. "What shall I do? Ah! I have an idea. Damp.
What resists it and is practically water-proof? Newspapers!" With this
he stood up, seized the "Times" supplement, made a hole in the middle of
the central fold, and put it over his head. "Now I have improvised a
South-American serape" he observed, in a tone that betrayed the
pleasure it gave him to exercise his ingenuity. He then took two other
sheets and successively wrapped them around his legs, after the fashion
in vogue among gardeners intent upon protecting valuable plants from the
rigors of winter. This done, he smoothed down the serape, which showed
a volatile tendency to blow up a good deal, and, with a brief comment to
the effect that "oilskin or india-rubber could not be better," and no
staring about him to observe the effect of his action on the passengers,
replaced his hat, sat down, picked up his book again, readjusted his
eye-glasses, and went on with the episode he had been reading aloud to
his nephew, who, mildly bored by King Philip's war, was mildly amused by
the spectacle the baronet presented, and surprised to see that their
fellow-travellers thought it an excellent joke. A loud "Haw! haw!" and
many convulsive titters testified their appreciation of the absurd
contrast between Sir Robert's highly-respectable head, his grave,
absorbed air, and the remarkable way in which he was finished off below
the ears; but he read on and on, in his round, agreeable voice,
unconscious of the effect he was producing, until the train came to the
final stop, when Mr. Porter and a very dignified, rigid style of friend
came into the car to look for him.
"My dear Porter, I am delighted to see you, and I shall be with you in
one moment. I shall then have ceased to be a grub and have become a most
beautiful butterfly, ready to fly away home with you as soon as ever you
like," he called out in greeting, and in a twinkling had torn off his
wrappers, and stood there a revealed acquaintance, carefully collecting
his "traps," and beaming cheerfully even upon the friend, who had not
come to a pantomime and showed that he disapproved of harlequins in
private life.
Mr. Porter, however, was all cordiality, and very speedily transferred
his guests to his own house in the vicinity of Boston.
The season was not the one for gaining a fair idea of the society of the
city and neighborhood; but if all the people who were away at the
sea-side and the mountains were half as charming as those left behind
and invited by Mr. Porter, to meet his friends, it is certain that Sir
Robert lost a great deal. On the other hand, it is equally certain that
if they had been at home Sir Robert would most likely be there now, and
this chronicle of his travels would end here. As it was, he
found something novel and agreeable at every step, a fresh interest
every hour of his stay. He began at the beginning, and promptly found
out what kind of soil the city was built on, went on to consider such
questions as drainage, elevation, water-supply, wharves, quays, bridges,
and worked up to libraries, museums, public and private collections of
pictures, and what not. He ordered three pictures of Boston
artists,—two autumnal scenes, and an interior, a negro cabin, with an
hilarious sable group variously employed, called "Christmas in the
Quarters." Then the questions of fisheries, maritime traffic, coast and
harbor defences, light-houses, the ship-building interests, life-saving
associations, and railway systems, pressed for investigation, to say
nothing of the mills and manufactories, wages of operatives,
trades-unions, trade problems, and all the pros and cons of free trade
versus protective tariff. Over these he pondered and pored until all
hours every night; and the diary had now to be girt about with two stout
rubber bands to keep it from scattering instructive leaflets about
promiscuously and prematurely. And by day there were sites literary,
historical, or generally interesting to be visited, engagements with
many friends to keep, endless occupations apparently.
There was so much to see and do that the place was delightful to him,
and he certainly made himself vastly agreeable in return to such of its
inhabitants as came in his way.
"I have added to my circle some very valuable acquaintances, whom I
shall hope to retain as friends," he wrote to England, "notably a
medical man who confirms my germ-propagation theory of the 'vomito,'
which is now raging in the Southern part of the States (I had it, you
remember, on the west coast of Africa, and studied it in the
Barbadoes),—an exceptionally clever man, and, like all such men,
inclined to be eccentric. I think I was never more surprised than to
come upon him the other day in a side-street, where he was positively
having his boots polished in public by a ragged gamin who offered to
'shine' me for a 'dime.' He behaved sensibly about it,—betrayed no
embarrassment, though he must have felt excessively annoyed, made no
apologies, and only remarked that he had been out in the country, and
did not wish to be taken for a miller in the town.
"I was led to believe before coming here that I should not be able to
tell that Boston was not an English town. It did not so impress me on a
surface-view, but it was not long before I recognized that the warp and
woof of the social fabric is that of our looms, though the pattern is a
little different,—a good sort of stuff, I think, warranted to wash
and wear. The variation, such as it is, tried by what I call my
differential nationometer, gives to the place its own peculiar,
delightful quality." The rigid gentleman, who was a great deal at the
Porters', was rather inclined to insist upon the great purity and beauty
of his English, to which he repeatedly invited attention, and, as Mr.
Ramsay would have said, "went in for" certain philological refinements
which Sir Robert had never heard before, and thoroughly disliked. But as
there are more Scotchmen in London than in Edinburgh, and better oranges
can be bought for less money in New York than in New Orleans, so it may
be that if you want to find really superior English you must leave
England altogether,—abandon it to its defective but firmly-rooted
patois, and seek in more classic shades for the well—spring of Saxon
undefiled. But Sir Robert was not inclined to do this. There were limits
to his liberality and spirit of investigation. When the rigid gentleman
instanced certain words to which he gave a pronunciation that made them
bear small resemblance to the same words as spoken by any class of
people laboring under the disadvantage of having been born and bred in
England, Sir Robert got impatient, and testily dismissed the subject
with, "Oh, come, now! I can stand a good deal, but I can't stand being
told that we don't know how to speak English in England." Something,
however, must be pardoned to a foreigner. If Sir Robert would
not consent to set Emerson a little higher than the angels, as some
other Bostonians could have wished, and had never so much as heard of
Thoreau and other American celebrities not wholly insignificant, he had
an immense admiration for Longfellow, and could spout "Hiawatha" or
"Evangeline" with the best, associated Hawthorne with something besides
his own hedges in the month of May, and was eager to be taken out to
Beverly Farms, that he might "do himself the honor to call upon" the
wisest, wittiest, least-dreaded, and best-loved of Autocrats. When the
day fixed for his departure came, he was still revelling in what the
Historical Society of Massachusetts had to show him, and actually
stayed over a day that he might see the finest collection of cacti in
the country, and at last tore himself away with much difficulty and
lively regrets, carrying with him a collection of Indian curiosities
given him by Mr. Porter, whom he considered to have behaved "most
handsomely" in making him such a present. "I can't rob you outright, my
dear fellow. I feel a cut-purse, almost, when I think of taking all
these valuable and deeply-interesting objects illustrative of the life
and civilization of the aborigines," he said. "Give me duplicates, if
you will be so generous, but nothing unique, I insist." He finally
accepted one gem in the collection,—a towering structure of feathers
that formed "a most delightful head-dress, quite irresistibly
fascinating," tried it on before a mirror that gave back faithfully the
comical reflection, and incidentally delivered a lecture on the
head-ornaments of many savage and civilized nations of every age, though
not at all in the style of the famous Mr. Barlow.
Mr. Heathcote at least was not sorry to find that they were, as he said.
"booked for Baltimore." The image of the beautiful Miss Bascombe had not
been effaced. Perhaps he had photographed it by some private process on
his heart with the lover's camera, which takes rather idealized but very
charming pictures, some of which never fade. At all events, there it
was, very distinct and very lovely, and always hung on the line in his
mental picture-gallery. It was positively with trepidation that he
presented himself before her very soon after his arrival; and an
undeniable blush "mantled" his cheek—if a blush can be said with any
propriety to mantle the male cheek—- when he marched into the
drawing-room, where she was doing a dainty bit of embroidery, and with
much simplicity and directness said, "You said I might come, you know,
and I have come; and I begged of Ethel to come too, but she could not
leave my aunt," before he had so much as shaken hands. Of course no
well-regulated and well-bred young woman—and Miss Bascombe was
both—ever permits herself to remember any man until she is engaged to
him; but she need not forget one that has impressed her agreeably. Miss
Bascombe had not forgotten the handsome Englishman she had met at Jenny
De Witt's, nor the little lecture she had given him on the duties of
brothers to sisters, and it did not strike her that his inaugural
address was at all eccentric or mysterious. He had been told what he
ought to do; he had tried to do it, as was quite right and proper. He
deserved some reward. And he got it,—though only as an encouragement to
abstract virtue, of course. The young lady was pleased to be friendly,
gracious, charming. Her mother came in presently, was equally friendly
and gracious, and almost as charming. Her father came home to dinner,
and was friendly too, and hearty, and very hospitable. Her brothers were
friendliest of all. He knew quite well that he had no claim on them,
that he had not saved the life of any member of the family or laid them
under any sort of obligation, individually or collectively, and no
reception could have seemed more special and dangerously cordial, yet no
anxieties oppressed, no fears distracted him. The weight of excessive
eligibility suddenly slipped off him, like the albatross from the neck
of the Ancient Mariner, leaving him a thankful and a happy man,
and in a week he had established himself firmly at the Bascombes',
declined to accompany his uncle to Virginia, and definitely settled in
his own mind that he would take the step matrimonial,—the step from the
sublime to—well, not always the ridiculous. With this resolution he
naturally thought that the greatest obstacle to success had been
removed; but he was soon disillusionized. He had already come to see
that American girls were very much in the habit of being gracious to
everybody, and saying pretty and pleasant things, with no thought of an
hereafter; also that they did not live with St. George's, Hanover
Square, or its American equivalent, Trinity Church, New York, stamped on
the mental retina. Miss Bascombe was "very nice" to him, he told
himself, but she was quite as nice to a dozen other men. She was
uniformly kind, courteous, agreeable, to every one who came to the
house. Her cordiality to him meant nothing whatever. Yes, he was quite
free,—free as air; he saw that plainly, and perversely longed to assume
the fetters he had so long and so skilfully avoided. What was the use of
having serious intentions when not the slightest notice was taken of the
most compromising behavior? It was true that he was perfectly at liberty
to see more of Edith than an Englishman ever does of any woman not
related to him, and to say and do a thousand things any one of which at
home would have necessitated a proposal or instant flight. But no
importance whatever seemed to be attached to them here, and he was
utterly at a loss how to make his seriousness felt. Yet it was quite
clear that if there was to be any wooing done, he would have to do
it,—go every step of the way himself, with no assistance from Miss
Bascombe. "How on earth am I to show her that I care for her?" he
thought. "Other men send her dozens of bouquets, and box after box of
expensive sweets, and loads of books, and music without end, and they
come to see her continually, and take her about everywhere, and are
entirely devoted to her. I wonder what fellows over here do when they
are serious? How do they make themselves understood when they go on in
this way habitually? It is a most extraordinary state of affairs! And
neither party seems to feel in the least compromised by it. There is
that fellow Clinch, who fairly lives at the Bascombes', and when I asked
her if she was engaged to him she said, 'Engaged to George Clinch? What
an idea! No. What put that in your head? He is a nice fellow, and I
like him immensely, but there's nothing of that sort between us. What
made you think there was? And when I explained, she said, 'Oh, that's
nothing! He is just as nice to lots of other girls.' And when I
suggested to him that he was attached to her, he said, 'Edith Bascombe?
Oh, no! She is a great friend of mine, and a charming girl, but I have
never thought of that, nor has she. I go there a good deal, but I have
never paid her any marked attention.' No marked attention, indeed!
Nothing seems to mean anything here: it is worse than being in England,
where everything means something. No, it isn't, either. I vow that when
I am at the Clintons' in Surrey I scarcely dare offer the girls so much
as a muffin, and if I ask the carroty one, Beatrice, the simplest
question, she blushes and stammers as if I were proposing out of hand.
But what am I to do? I can't sing and take to serenading Edith on
moonlit nights with a guitar and a blue ribbon around my neck. I can't
push her into the river that I may pull her out again. I dare say there
is nothing for it but to adopt the American method,—enter with about
fifty others for a sort of sentimental steeple-chase, elbow or knock
every other fellow out of the way in the running, work awfully hard to
please the girl, and get in by half a length, if one wins at all. There
is no feeling sure of her until one is coming back from the altar,
evidently."
Some of his conversations with Edith were certainly anything but
encouraging. At other times he felt morally sure that she
shared that derangement of the bivalvular organ technically defined as
"a muscular viscus which is the primary instrument of the blood's
motion," whose worst pains are said to be worth more than the greatest
pleasures. He was very much in earnest, and entirely straightforward,
There were no balancing indecisions now, but the most downright
affirmation of preference. His little speeches were not veiled in rosy
clouds of metaphor and poetry and distant allusions, like Captain
Kendall's, nor did they flow out in an unfailing stream of romantic
eloquence, like that gifted warrior's. They were so honest and so
clumsy, indeed, that Edith could not help laughing at them merrily
sometimes, to his great discomfiture, consisting as they did chiefly of
such statements as, "You know that I am most awfully fond of you. I was
tremendously hard hit from the first. If you don't believe me, you can
ask Ramsay. I told him all about it. You aren't in the least like any
other girl that I have ever known, except Mrs. De Witt a little. I
suppose you know that I would have married her at the dropping of a hat
if I could have done so. But that is all over now. I care an awful lot
for you now, and shall be quite frightfully cut up if you won't have
anything to say to me,—I shall, really. I have got quite wrapped up in
you, upon my word. And I shall be intensely glad and proud if you will
consent to be my wife."
When Edith failed to take such speeches as these seriously, poor Mr.
Heathcote was quite beside himself, and, in reply to her bantering
accusations as to his being "a great flirt" and not "really meaning one
word that he said," opposed either burly negation or a deeply-vexed
silence. They looked at so many things differently that they found a
piquant interest in discussing every subject that came up.
"There go May Dunbar and Fred Beach," she said to him one Sunday as they
were coming home from church. "Isn't he handsome? They have been engaged
three years. Did you ever hear of such constancy?"
"Do you call that constancy? Why, if a fellow can't wait three years for
a lovely girl like that, he must be a poor stick. Why, my uncle
Montgomery was engaged to his wife seventeen years, while he went out to
India and shook the pagoda-tree, after which he came back, paid all his
father's debts, and they married and went into the house they had picked
out before he sailed," said Mr. Heathcote.
"Good gracious! what a time! I hope the poor things were happy at last.
Were they?" asked Edith.
"H-m—pretty well. He is a rather fiery, tyrannical old party. She
doesn't get her own way to hurt," he replied.
"I have heard that Englishwomen give way to the men in everything and
are always, voluntarily or involuntarily, sacrificed to them. It must be
so bad for both," said Edith sweetly.
"Oh, you go in for woman's rights and that sort of thing, I suppose," he
said, in a tone of annoyance.
"Indeed I don't do anything of the kind," replied she, with warmth. "If
I did, I should be aping the men when I wasn't sneering at them. But I
respect your sex most when they most deserve to be respected, and I
don't see anything to admire in a selfish, tyrannical man that is always
imposing his will, opinions, and wishes upon the ladies of his household
and expects to be the first consideration from the cradle to the grave
because he happens to be a man."
"But he is the head of his house. He ought to get his own way, if
anybody does, and, if he is not a coward, he will, too," said Mr.
Heathcote rather hotly. "Would you have a man a molly-coddle, tied to
his wife's apron-string, and not daring to call his soul his own?"
"Not at all," replied Edith. "It is the cowards that are the tyrants.
'The bravest are the tenderest, the loving are the daring,' as our
American poet says. And women have souls of their own, except in the
East. Why shouldn't they be the first consideration and do as they
please, pray? They are the weaker, the more delicate and daintily bred.
If there is any pampering and spoiling to be done, they should
be the objects of it. And as to rights, there is no divine right of way
given to man, that I know of. I don't believe in that sort of thing at
all. Of course no reasonable woman wants or expects everybody to kootoo
before her and everything to give way to her."
"And no gentleman fails to show a proper respect for his wife's wishes
and comfort, not to mention her happiness," said Mr. Heathcote. "But of
course that sort of thing is only to be found in America. Englishmen are
all selfish, and tyrants, and domestic monsters, I know."
"I didn't say anything of the kind," replied Edith quickly, her cheeks
pink with excitement. "I don't know anything about Englishmen or the
domestic system of England, and I never expect to. But, if what I have
heard is true, it is a system that tends to make men mortally selfish;
and selfish people, whether they are men or women, and whether they know
it or not, are all monsters. But I apologize for my remarks, and, as I
am not interested in the subject in the least, we will talk of
something else, if you please."
This very feminine conclusion, delivered loftily and with sudden
reserve, left Mr. Heathcote in anything but an agreeable frame of mind,
and for an hour or two made him doubt the wisdom of international
marriages; but this mood passed away, and he remained a fixture at the
maison Bascombe, where the very postman came to know him and
generously sympathized with the malady from which he was suffering. Nor
was this the only house in which he was made very welcome. Baltimore is
one of many American cities that suffer from the vague but painful
accusation of being "provincial;" but, admitting this dreadful charge,
it has social, gastronomic, and other charms of its own that ought to
compensate for the absence of that doubtful good, cosmopolitanism. Mr.
Heathcote certainly found no fault with it, and did not miss the
population, pauperism, or other institutions of Paris, London, or
Vienna. On the contrary, he took very kindly to the pretty place, and
heartily liked the people. There was nothing oppressive or ostentatious
in the attentions he received, but just the cordiality, grace, and charm
of an old-established society of most refined traditions, perfect
savoir-vivre, and chronic hospitality.
"You are making a Baltimorean of me, you are so awfully kind to me," he
would say, pronouncing the a in Bal as he would have done in sal; but
the truth was that he had become primarily a Bascomite and only very
incidentally a Baltimorean. The city counts hundreds of such converts
every year. He was so happy and entirely content that he would have
quite forgotten what it was to be bored just at this period but for
certain individuals,—a boastful, disagreeable Irishman, who fastened
upon him apparently for no other reason than that he might abuse England
at great length and talk of his own valor, accomplishments, and
"paddygree" (as he very properly called the record that established his
connection with Brian Boroo and Irish kings generally), and a lady who
seemed to take the most astounding, unquenchable interest in the English
nobility, as more than one lady had seemed to him to do, to his great
annoyance.
"I don't know a bit about them, I assure you," he said to her; "but I
have the 'Peerage.' If you would like to see that, I will send it you
with pleasure."
This only diverted her conversation into a different but equally
distasteful channel,—the great distinction and antiquity of her own
family. It really seemed as though she had a dread of Mr. Heathcote's
leaving the country with some wrong impression on this important subject
and was determined that he should be put in possession of all the
information she had or imagined herself to have about it. She talked to
him about it so much that the poor man was at incredible pains to keep
out of her way.
"I don't care a brass copper about her," he complained to
Edith; "and if the family has been producing women like her as long as
she says, and is going on at it, all I can say is that it is a pity they
have lasted this long, and the sooner they die out the better. What do I
care about her family, pray? I never heard as much about family in all
my life, I give you my word, as I have done since I came to America. The
stories told me are something wonderful,—all about the two brothers
that left England, and all that, you know. They seem all to have come
away in pairs, like the animals in the ark. I said to one fellow that
was beginning with those two brothers, 'Couldn't you make it three,
don't you think?' And you'll not believe me, but I speak quite without
exaggeration, when I say that one woman out in Raising assured me
gravely that she was descended from the houses of York and Lancaster!"
"She didn't!" exclaimed Edith. "That is, if she did, she must have
been crazy; and I won't have you going back to England and giving
false impressions of us by repeating such stories. Promise me that you
will never repeat it there."
"Oh, that's all right," he replied soothingly. "It's an extreme case, I
grant, and I'll say no more about it if it vexes you, but it is a true
tale all the same. Howe was her name, I remember; and I felt like
saying,—I'll eat my hand if I understand Howe this can possibly
be,'—that's in the Bab Ballads,—but I didn't."
Sir Robert had small opportunity of making acquaintance with Baltimore.
He was very eager to get down into Virginia, and stayed there but two
days. On the second of these he attended a gentleman's dinner-party, the
annual mile-stone of a military society composed of men who had worn the
gray and marked the well-known tendency of tempus to fugit in this
agreeable fashion. Their ex-enemies of the blue were also there, but not
in the original overwhelming numbers, and the battle was now to one
party, now to the other, the race to the best raconteur, rivers of
champagne flowed instead of brave blood, and the smoke of cannon was
exchanged for that of Havanas. Sir Robert's face beamed more and more
brightly as the evening wore on, and reminiscences, anecdotes, stories,
jests, songs, were fluently and cleverly poured out in rapid succession
by the hilarious company. The fun was at its height, when he suddenly
leaned forward with his body at an insinuating angle and smilingly
addressed an officer opposite: "You must really let me say that I have
been delighted by all that I have heard here to-night, and appreciate
the compliment you have paid me in permitting me to join you. And now I
am going to ask a great favor. Could you, would you, give me some idea
of 'the rebel yell,' as it was called? We heard so much about that. I am
most curious to hear it. It is always spoken of as perfectly terrifying,
almost unearthly."
The gentleman whom he addressed looked down the table and rapped to call
attention to what he had to say: "Boys, this English gentleman is asking
whether we can't give him some idea of what the rebel yell is like. What
do you say? If our Federal friends are afraid, they can get under the
table, where they will be perfectly safe, and a good deal more
comfortable than they used to be behind trees or in baggage-wagons," he
called out.
A hearty laugh followed, and, their blood having got bubbles in it by
this time, a general assenting murmur was heard.
The next instant a shriek, sky-rending, blood-curdling, savage beyond
description, went up,—a truly terrific yell in peace, and enough to
create a panic, one would think, in the Old Guard in time of war.
"Thank you, thank you. I am entirely satisfied" said Sir Robert, in a
comically rueful tone, as soon as he could say anything for the uproar.
"I never imagined anything like it, never. Where did you get it? Who
invented it? Is it an adaptation of some war-cry of the North American
Indians? It sounds like what one would fancy their cries might
be, doesn't it? It has got all the beasts of the forest in it; and I
confess that I for one, would have fled before it and stayed in the
wagons as long as there was the slightest danger of hearing it. By Jove!
it must have been heard in Boston when given in Virginia. It is curious
how very ancient the practice of—"
But the company heard no more of curious practices, for their yell had
been heard, if not in Boston, in a far more remarkable quarter,—namely,
by the police, who now rushed in, prepared to club, arrest, and carry
off any and all disorderly and dreadful disturbers of the peace.
If Sir Robert had been in any danger of being murdered, all experience
goes to show that no policeman could have been found before the
following morning, and then only in the remotest part of the city. As he
was merely being wined, dined, and amused, quite a formidable body of
these devoted but easily-misled guardians of respectability and
innocence poured into the room, where at first they could see nothing
for the smoke. Matters were explained, they were invited to "take
something" before they went, and took it, and, quite placated, filed out
into the passage again, and from thence into the street.
Sir Robert sat up late that night, or rather began early on the
following day, to copy the stories he had most relished into the diary,
and do what justice he could to "the rebel yell," and, having added an
admirably discriminating chapter on "the present political situation in
the States," concluded with, "How striking is the good sense, the good
feeling, that both the conquerors and the conquered have shown, on the
whole! In other countries, how often has a war far less bloody and
protracted left in its wake evils far greater than the original one, in
guerilla warfare, murders, ceaseless revolt, and smouldering hatred
lasting for centuries on one side, and centuries of tyranny, oppression,
executions, confiscations, on the other! A brave and fine race this, not
made of the stuff that goes to keep up vendettas, shoot landlords, blow
up rulers, assassinate enemies. They can fight as well as any, and they
have shown that they can forgive better than most,—taken together, true
manliness. It may be that they are influenced by a consideration which
is said to be always present to an American,—'Will it pay?' and of
course so practical a people as this see that anarchy doesn't pay; but I
would rather attribute their conduct to nobler, more generous motives,
and in doing this seem to myself to be doing them no more than justice."
F.C. BAYLOR.
[TO BE CONCLUDED.]