LORD CHESTERFIELD’S LETTERS, SENTENCES, AND MAXIMS. — MAXIMS. 56 — POLITICAL MAXIMS FROM CARDINAL DE RETZ. 57 — LORD CHESTERFIELD’S REMARKS UPON THE FOREGOING MAXIMS.
Travel in Holland.—On me dit, Monsieur! que vous vous
disposez à voyager, et que vous débutez par la Hollande. De sorte
j’ai crû de mon devoir, de vous souhaiter un bon voyage, et des vents
favorables. Vous aurez la bonté, j’espère, de me faire part de votre
arrivée à la Haye; et si après cela, dans le cours de vos voyages,
vous faites quelques remarques curieuses, vous voudrez bien me les
communiquer.
La Hollande, où vous allez, est de beaucoup la plus belle, et la
plus riche des Sept Provinces-Unies, qui, toutes ensemble, forment
la République. Les autres sont celles de Gueldres, Zélande, Frise,
Utrecht, Groningue, et Over-Yssel. Les Sept Provinces composent, ce
qu’on appelle les Etats Généraux des Provinces-Unies, et font une
République très-puissante, et très-considérable.16
Translation.—I am informed, sir, that you are about to travel,
and that you will start with Holland. Therefore I have thought it my
duty to wish you a pleasant journey and favorable winds. You will, I am
sure, be so good as to acquaint me with your arrival at The Hague; and
afterward, if in your travels you should observe anything curious, will
you let me know?
Holland, where you are going, is by far the finest and richest of the
seven united provinces, which together form the Republic. The other
provinces are Guelderland, Zealand, Friesland, Utrecht, Groningen, and
Overyssel; these seven provinces form what is called the States-General
of the United Provinces, etc.17
True Decency.—One of the most important points of life
is decency; which is to do what is proper, and where it is proper;
for many things are proper at one time, and in one place, that are
extremely improper in another; for example, it is very proper and
decent that you should play some part of the day; but you must feel
that it would be very improper and indecent if you were to fly your
kite, or play at nine-pins while you are with Mr. Maittaire.18 It is
very proper and decent to dance well; but then you must dance only at
balls and places of entertainment; for you would be reckoned a fool if
you were to dance at church or at a funeral. I hope, by these examples,
you understand the meaning of the word decency, which in French
is bienséance; in Latin, decorum; and in Greek, πρέπον.
Cicero says of it, Sic hoc decorum quod elucet in vitâ,
movet approbationem earum quibuscum vivatur, ordine et constantiâ, et
moderatione dictorum omnium atque factorum: by which you see how
necessary decency is to gain the approbation of mankind. And, as I am
sure you desire to gain Mr. Maittaire’s approbation, without which you
will never have mine, I dare say you will mind and give attention to
whatever he says to you, and behave yourself seriously and decently
while you are with him; afterward play, run, and jump as much as ever
you please. [July 24, 1739.]
The Art of Speaking.—You cannot but be convinced that a
man who speaks and writes with elegance and grace; who makes choice
of good words, and adorns and embellishes the subject upon which he
either speaks or writes, will persuade better, and succeed more easily
in obtaining what he wishes, than a man who does not explain himself
clearly; speaks his language ill; or makes use of low and vulgar
expressions; and who has neither grace nor elegance in anything that
he says. Now it is by rhetoric that the art of speaking eloquently is
taught; and, though I cannot think of grounding you in it as yet, I
would wish, however, to give you an idea of it suitable to your age.19
The first thing you should attend to is, to speak whatever language
you do speak, in its greatest purity, and according to the rules of
grammar; for we must never offend against grammar, nor make use of
words which are not really words. This is not all; for not to speak
ill, is not sufficient; we must speak well; and the best method of
attaining to that, is to read the best authors with attention; and to
observe how people of fashion speak, and those who express themselves
best; for shopkeepers, common people, footmen, and maid-servants all
speak ill. [Bath, Oct. 17, 1739.]
Oratory.—The business of oratory is to persuade people; and
you easily feel that to please people is a great step toward persuading
them. You must, then, consequently, be sensible how advantageous it
is for a man, who speaks in public, whether it be in Parliament, in
the pulpit, or at the bar (that is, in the courts of law), to please
his hearers so much as to gain their attention: which he can never do
without the help of oratory. It is not enough to speak the language he
speaks in its utmost purity, and according to the rules of grammar; but
he must speak it elegantly; that is, he must choose the best and most
expressive words, and put them in the best order. He should likewise
adorn what he says by proper metaphors, similes, and other figures of
rhetoric; and he should enliven it, if he can, by quick and sprightly
turns of wit. [November, 1739.]
The Folly of Ignorance.—An ignorant man is insignificant and
contemptible; nobody cares for his company, and he can just be said to
live, and that is all. There is a very pretty French epigram upon the
death of such an ignorant, insignificant fellow, the sting of which is,
that all that can be said of him is, that he was once alive, and that
he is now dead. This is the epigram, which you may get by heart:
“Colas est mort de maladie,
Tu veux que j’en pleure le sort,
Que diable veux-tu que j’en dis?
Colas vivoit. Colas est mort.”
Take care not to deserve the name of Colas,20 which I
shall certainly give you, if you do not learn well. [No date.]
Philippus Chesterfield parvulo suo Philippo Stanhope, S. P. D.
Pergrata mihi fuit epistola tua, quam nuper accepi, eleganter enim
scripta erat, et polliceris te summam operam daturum, ut veras laudes
meritò adipisci possis. Sed ut planè dicam; valde suspicor te, in ea
scribenda, optimum et eruditissimum adjutorem habuisse; quo duce et
auspice, nec elegantia, nec doctrina, nec quicquid prorsus est dignum
sapiente bonoque, unquam tibi deesse poterit. Illum ergo ut quam
diligenter colas, te etiam atque etiam rogo; et quo magis eum omni
officio, amore, et obsequio persequeris, eo magis te me studiosum, et
observantem existimabo.21
A Study in Verse.—To use your ear a little to English verse,
and to make you attend to the sense, too, I have transposed the words
of the following lines; which I would have you put in their proper
order, and send me in your next:
“Life consider cheat a when ’tis all I
Hope the fool’d deceit men yet with favor
Repay will to-morrow trust on think and
Falser former day to-morrow’s than the
Worse lies blest be shall when and we says it
Hope new some possess’d cuts off with we what.”
[This is curious, and truly no bad way of teaching a child the
structure of verse. The citation, a fine one, is from Dryden:
“When I consider life, ’tis all a cheat,
Yet fool’d with hope men favor the deceit.”
The reader may puzzle out the rest.]
Virtue Discouraged.—If six hundred citizens of Athens gave
in the name of any one Athenian, written upon an oyster-shell (from
whence it is called ostracism), that man was banished Athens for ten
years. On one hand, it is certain, that a free people cannot be too
careful or jealous of their liberty; and it is certain, too, that
the love and applause of mankind will always attend a man of eminent
and distinguished virtue; and, consequently, they are more likely to
give up their liberties to such-a-one than to another of less merit.
But then, on the other hand, it seems extraordinary to discourage
virtue upon any account; since it is only by virtue that any society
can flourish, and be considerable. There are many more arguments, on
each side of this question, which will naturally occur to you; and
when you have considered them well, I desire you will write me your
opinion, whether the ostracism was a right or a wrong thing, and your
reasons for being of that opinion. Let nobody help you, and give me
exactly your own sentiments and your own reasons, whatever they are.
[October, 1740.]
Ambition.—Everybody has ambition of some kind or other, and
is vexed when that ambition is disappointed; the difference is, that
the ambition of silly people is a silly and mistaken ambition; and
the ambition of people of sense is a right and commendable one. For
instance, the ambition of a silly boy, of your age, would be to have
fine clothes, and money to throw away in idle follies; which, you
plainly see, would be no proofs of merit in him, but only of folly in
his parents, in dressing him out like a jackanapes, and giving him
money to play the fool with. Whereas a boy of good sense places his
ambition in excelling other boys of his own age, and even older, in
virtue and knowledge. His glory is in being known always to speak the
truth, in showing good nature and compassion, in learning quicker,
and applying himself more than other boys. These are real proofs of
merit in him, and consequently proper objects of ambition; and will
acquire him a solid reputation and character. This holds true in men
as well as in boys; the ambition of a silly fellow will be to have a
fine equipage, a fine house, and fine clothes; things which anybody,
that has as much money, may have as well as he; for they are all
to be bought; but the ambition of a man of sense and honor is to
be distinguished by a character and reputation of knowledge, truth,
and virtue—things which are not to be bought, and that can only be
acquired by a good head and a good heart. [Not dated.]
Humanity.—It is certain that humanity is the particular
characteristic of a great mind; little, vicious minds are full
of anger and revenge, and are incapable of feeling the exalted
pleasure of forgiving their enemies, and of bestowing marks of favor
and generosity upon those of whom they have gotten the better.
Adieu!22
Novels and Romances.—A novel is a kind of abbreviation of a
romance; for a romance generally consists of twelve volumes, all filled
with insipid love nonsense, and most incredible adventures. The subject
of a romance is sometimes a story entirely fictitious, that is to say,
quite invented; at other times a true story, but generally so changed
and altered that one cannot know it. For example: in “Grand Cyrus,”
“Clelia,” and “Cleopatra,” three celebrated romances, there is some
true history; but so blended with falsities and silly love adventures,
that they confuse and corrupt the mind, instead of forming and
instructing it. The greatest heroes of antiquity are there represented
in woods and forests, whining insipid love tales to their inhuman fair
one; who answers them in the same style. In short, the reading of
romances is a most frivolous occupation, and time merely thrown away.
[The little boy was then reading the historical novel of “Don Carlos,”
by the Abbé de St. Real. (Not dated.)]
Virtue.—Virtue is a subject that deserves your and every
man’s attention; and suppose I were to bid you make some verses, or
give me your thoughts in prose, upon the subject of virtue, how would
you go about it? Why, you would first consider what virtue is, and then
what are the effects and marks of it, both with regard to others and
one’s self. You would find, then, that virtue consists in doing good,
and in speaking truth; and that the effects of it are advantageous to
all mankind, and to one’s self in particular. Virtue makes us pity
and relieve the misfortunes of mankind; it makes us promote justice
and good order in society; and, in general, contributes to whatever
tends to the real good of mankind. To ourselves it gives an inward
comfort and satisfaction which nothing else can do, and which nothing
can rob us of. All other advantages depend upon others, as much as
upon ourselves. Riches, power, and greatness may be taken away from
us by the violence and injustice of others or inevitable accidents,
but virtue depends only on ourselves and nobody can take it away.
[Headed only Sunday.]
The Reward of Virtue.—If a virtuous man be ever so poor or
unfortunate in the world, still his virtue is his own reward and will
comfort him under his afflictions. The quiet and satisfaction of his
conscience make him cheerful by day and sleep sound of nights; he can
be alone with pleasure and is not afraid of his own thoughts. Besides
this, he is esteemed and respected; for even the most wicked people
themselves cannot help admiring and respecting virtue in others. A poet
says:
“Ipsa quidem virtus, sibimet pulcherrima merces.”
23
Politeness a Necessity.—Know, then, that as learning,
honor, and virtue are absolutely necessary to gain you the esteem
and admiration of mankind; politeness and good breeding are equally
necessary, to make you welcome and agreeable in conversation and common
life. Great talents, such as honor, virtue, learning, and parts, are
above the generality of the world; who neither possess them themselves,
nor judge of them rightly in others; but all people are judges of
the lesser talents, such as civility, affability, and an obliging,
agreeable address and manner; because they feel the good effects of
them, as making society easy and pleasing.
Good Breeding and Good Sense.—Good sense must, in many cases,
determine good breeding; because the same thing that would be civil
at one time, and to one person, may be quite otherwise at another
time, and to another person; but there are some general rules of good
breeding, that hold always true, and in all cases. [About February,
1741.]
Rudeness and Civility.—I dare say I need not tell you how
rude it is, to take the best place in a room, or to seize immediately
upon what you like at table, without offering first to help others;
as if you consider nobody but yourself. On the contrary, you should
always endeavor to procure all the conveniences you can to the people
you are with. Besides being civil, which is absolutely necessary,
the perfection of good breeding is, to be civil with ease, and in a
gentlemanlike manner. For this, you should observe the French people;
who excel in it, and whose politeness seems as easy and natural as any
other part of their conversation. Whereas the English are often awkward
in their civilities, and, when they mean to be civil, are too much
ashamed to get it out.
Mauvaise Honte.—Pray, do you remember never to be ashamed
of doing what is right; you would have a great deal of reason to be
ashamed, if you were not civil; but what reason can you have to be
ashamed of being civil? And why not say a civil and an obliging thing,
as easily and as naturally, as you would ask what o’clock it is? This
kind of bashfulness, which is justly called, by the French, mauvaise
honte, is the distinguishing character of an English booby; who is
frightened out of his wits when people of fashion speak to him; and
when he is to answer them, blushes, stammers, can hardly get out what
he would say, and becomes really ridiculous, from a groundless fear of
being laughed at; whereas a well bred man would speak to all the kings
in the world with as little concern and as much ease as he would speak
to you.
Youthful Emulation.—This is the last letter I shall write
to you as to a little boy; for, to-morrow, if I am not mistaken, you
will attain your ninth year; so that for the future I shall treat you
as a youth. You must now commence a different course of life,
a different course of studies. No more levity; childish toys and
playthings must be thrown aside, and your mind directed to serious
objects. What was not unbecoming of a child would be disgraceful
to a youth. Wherefore, endeavor, with all your might, to show a
suitable change; and, by learning, good manners, politeness, and other
accomplishments, to surpass those youths of your own age, whom hitherto
you have surpassed when boys.24 May the Almighty preserve you and
bestow on you his choicest blessings.
True Respect.—The strictest and most scrupulous honor and
virtue can alone make you esteemed and valued by mankind; [remember]
that parts and learning can alone make you admired and celebrated by
them; but that the possession of lesser talents is most absolutely
necessary, toward making you liked, beloved, and sought after in
private life. Of these lesser talents, good breeding is the principal
and most necessary one, not only as it is very important itself; but as
it adds great lustre to the more solid advantages both of the heart and
the mind.
Manner.—An easy manner and carriage must be wholly free from
those odd tricks, ill habits, and awkwardnesses, which even very worthy
and sensible people have in their behavior. [May, 1741.]
Manner—Absence—Awkwardness—Attention.—However trifling
a genteel manner may sound, it is of very great consequence towards
pleasing in private life, especially the women; which (sic), one
time or other, you will think worth pleasing; and I have known many a
man, from his awkwardness, give people such a dislike of him at first,
that all his merit could not get the better of it afterwards. Whereas
a genteel manner prepossesses people in your favor, bends them towards
you and makes them wish to like you. Awkwardness can proceed but from
two causes: either from not having kept good company, or from not
having attended to it. As for your keeping good company, I will take
care of that; do you take care to observe their ways and manners, and
to form your own upon them. Attention is absolutely necessary for this,
as, indeed, it is for everything else; and a man without attention is
not fit to live in the world. When an awkward fellow first comes into
a room it is highly probable that his sword gets between his legs, and
throws him down, or makes him stumble at least; when he has recovered
this accident, he goes and places himself in the very place of the
whole room where he should not; there he soon lets his hat fall down,
and, in taking it up again, throws down his cane; in recovering his
cane, his hat falls a second time; so that he is a quarter of an hour
before he is in order again. If he drinks tea or coffee, he certainly
scalds his mouth, and lets either the cup or the saucer fall, and
spills the tea or coffee in his breeches. At dinner his awkwardness
distinguishes itself particularly, as he has more to do; there he
holds his knife, fork, and spoon differently from other people; eats
with his knife to the great danger of his mouth, picks his teeth with
his fork, and puts his spoon, which has been in his throat twenty
times, into the dishes again. If he is to carve, he can never hit the
joint; but, in his vain efforts to cut through the bone, scatters the
sauce in everybody’s face. He generally daubs himself with soup and
grease, though his napkin is commonly stuck through a buttonhole, and
tickles his chin. When he drinks, he infallibly coughs in his glass
and besprinkles the company. Besides all this, he has strange tricks
and gestures; such as snuffing up his nose, making faces, putting
his fingers in his nose, or blowing it and looking afterward in his
handkerchief, so as to make the company sick. His hands are troublesome
to him when he has not something in them, and he does not know where to
put them; but they are in perpetual motion between his bosom and his
breeches; he does not wear his clothes, and, in short, does nothing
like other people. All this, I own, is not in any degree criminal; but
it is highly disagreeable and ridiculous in company, and ought most
carefully to be avoided by whoever desires to please.
From this account of what you should not do, you may easily judge what
you should do; and a due attention to the manners of people of fashion,
and who have seen the world, will make it habitual and familiar to you.
There is, likewise, an awkwardness of expression and words, most
carefully to be avoided; such as false English, bad pronunciation, old
sayings, and common proverbs; which are so many proofs of having kept
bad and low company. For example: if, instead of saying that tastes
are different, and that every man has his own peculiar one, you should
let off a proverb, and say, “What is one man’s meat is another man’s
poison”; or else, “Every one as they like, as the good man said when he
kissed his cow”; everybody would be persuaded that you had never kept
company with anybody above footmen and housemaids.
Attention will do all this; and without attention nothing is to be
done; want of attention, which is really want of thought, is either
folly or madness. You should not only have attention to everything, but
a quickness of attention, so as to observe, at once, all the people
in the room; their motions, their looks, and their words; and yet
without staring at them, and seeming to be an observer. This quick and
unobserved observation is of infinite advantage in life, and is to be
acquired with care; and, on the contrary, what is called absence, which
is a thoughtlessness and want of attention about what is doing, makes
a man so like either a fool or a madman, that, for my part, I see no
real difference. A fool never has thought, a madman has lost it; and an
absent man is, for the time, without it.25 [Dated Spa, July 25, N.
S. 1741.]
True Praise.—Laudari a viro laudato was always a
commendable ambition; encourage that ambition and continue to deserve
the praises of the praiseworthy. While you do so you shall have
everything you will from me; and when you cease to do so you shall have
nothing.
An Awkward Mind.—I have warned you against odd motions,
strange postures, and ungenteel carriage. But there is likewise an
awkwardness of the mind that ought to be, and with care may be,
avoided; as, for instance, to mistake or forget names; to speak of
Mr. What-d’ye-call-him, or Mrs. Thingum, or How-d’ye-call-her, is
excessively awkward and ordinary. To call people by improper titles and
appellations is so, too; as my Lord for sir; and sir for my Lord. To
begin a story or narration, when you are not perfect in it, and cannot
go through with it, but are forced, possibly, to say in the middle of
it, “I have forgot the rest,” is very unpleasant and bungling. One
must be extremely exact, clear, and perspicuous in everything one
says, otherwise, instead of entertaining or informing others, one only
tires and puzzles them. The voice and manner of speaking, too, are
not to be neglected; some people almost shut their mouths when they
speak, and mutter so, that they are not to be understood; others speak
so fast and sputter so, that they are not to be understood neither;
some always speak as loud as if they were talking to deaf people; and
others so low that one cannot hear them. All these habits are awkward
and disagreeable; and are to be avoided by attention; they are the
distinguishing marks of the ordinary people, who have had no care taken
of their education. You cannot imagine how necessary it is to mind all
these little things; for I have seen many people with great talents
ill received, for want of having these talents, too; and others well
received only from their little talents, and who had no great ones.
Oratory and Hard Work.—Demosthenes, the celebrated Greek
orator, thought it so absolutely necessary to speak well, that though
he naturally stuttered, and had weak lungs, he resolved, by application
and care, to get the better of those disadvantages. Accordingly, he
cured his stammering by putting small pebbles into his mouth; and
strengthened his lungs gradually, by using himself every day to speak
aloud and distinctly for a considerable time. He likewise went often
to the seashore, in stormy weather, when the sea made most noise, and
there spoke as loud as he could, in order to use himself to the noise
and murmurs of the popular assemblies of the Athenians, before whom he
was to speak. By such care, joined to the constant study of the best
authors, he became at last the greatest orator of his own or any other
age or country, though he was born without any one natural talent for
it. Adieu! Copy Demosthenes. [(?) August, 1741.]
Keep your Word.—I am sure you know that breaking of your word
is a folly, a dishonor, and a crime. It is a folly, because nobody will
trust you afterward; and it is both a dishonor and a crime, truth being
the first duty of religion and morality; and whoever has not truth
cannot be supposed to have any one good quality, and must become the
detestation of God and man. Therefore I expect, from your truth and
your honor, that you will do that, which independently of your promise,
your own interest and ambition ought to incline you to do; that is, to
excel in everything you undertake. When I was of your age, I should
have been ashamed if any boy of that age had learned his book better,
or played at any play better than I did; and I would not have rested a
moment till I had got before him. Julius Cæsar, who had a noble thirst
of glory, used to say that he would rather be the first in a village
than the second in Rome; and he even cried when he saw the statue
of Alexander the Great, with the reflection of how much more glory
Alexander had acquired, at thirty years old, than he at a much more
advanced age. These are the sentiments to make people considerable;
and those who have them not will pass their lives in obscurity and
contempt; whereas those who endeavor to excel all, are at least sure of
excelling a great many. [June, 1742.]
Good Breeding.—Though I need not tell one of your age,26
experience, and knowledge of the world, how necessary good breeding
is, to recommend one to mankind; yet, as your various occupations
of Greek and cricket, Latin and pitch-farthing, may possibly divert
your attention from this object, I take the liberty of reminding you
of it, and desiring you to be very well bred at Lord Orrery’s. It is
good breeding alone that can prepossess people in your favor at first
sight; more time being necessary to discover greater talents. This good
breeding, you know, does not consist in low bows and formal ceremony;
but in an easy, civil, and respectful behavior. You will therefore take
care to answer with complaisance, when you are spoken to; to place
yourself at the lower end of the table, unless bid to go higher; to
drink first to the lady of the house, and next to the master; not to
eat awkwardly or dirtily; not to sit when others stand; and to do all
this with an air of complaisance, and not with a grave, sour look, as
if you did it at all unwillingly. [No date, Letter 70.]
Letter Writing.—Let your letter be written as accurately
as you are able—I mean with regard to language, grammar, and stops;
for as to the matter of it the less trouble you give yourself
the better it will be. Letters should be easy and natural, and convey
to the persons to whom we send them, just what we should say to the
persons if we were with them. [No date, Letter 72.]
The Results of Carelessness.—To this oscitancy we owe
so many mistakes, hiatus’s (sic), lacunæ, etc., in ancient
manuscripts. It may be here necessary to explain to you the meaning of
the oscitantes librarii; which I believe you will easily take.
These persons (before printing was invented) transcribed the works of
authors, sometimes for their own profit, but oftener (as they were
generally slaves) for the profit of their masters. In the first case,
dispatch, more than accuracy, was their object; for the faster they
wrote the more they got; in the latter case (observe this), as it was
a task imposed on them, which they did not dare to refuse, they were
idle, careless, and incorrect; not giving themselves the trouble
to read over what they had written. The celebrated Atticus kept a
great number of these transcribing slaves, and got great sums of money
by their labors. [November, 1745.]
Greek Epigrams.—I hope you will keep company with Horace and
Cicero among the Romans; and Homer and Xenophon among the Greeks, and
that you have got out of the worst company in the world, the Greek
epigrams. Martial has wit and is worth your looking into sometimes, but
I recommend the Greek epigrams to your supreme contempt. Good-night to
you. [Same date.]
Dancing Trifling.—Dancing is in itself a very trifling, silly
thing; but it is one of those established follies to which people of
sense are sometimes obliged to conform; and then they should be able
to do it well. And, though I would not have you a dancer, yet, when
you do dance, I would have you dance well, as I would have you do
everything you do, well. There is no one thing so trifling, but which
(if it is to be done at all) ought to be done well. And I have often
told you that I wished you even played at pitch and cricket better than
any boy at Westminster. For instance: dress is a very foolish thing;
and yet it is a very foolish thing for a man not to be well dressed,
according to his rank and way of life; and it is so far from being a
disparagement to any man’s understanding, that it is rather a proof of
it, to be as well dressed as those whom he lives with. The difference
in this case between a man of sense and a fop is, that the fop values
himself upon his dress; and the man of sense laughs at it, at the same
time that he knows he must not neglect it. There are a thousand foolish
customs of this kind, which not being criminal must be complied with,
and even cheerfully, by men of sense. Diogenes the cynic was a wise
man for despising them, but a fool for showing it. Be wiser than other
people if you can, but do not tell them so. [Dublin Castle, Nov. 19,
1745.27]
The Passions.—Whenever you would persuade or prevail, address
yourself to the passions; it is by them that mankind is to be taken.
Cæsar bade his soldiers, at the battle of Pharsalia, aim at the faces
of Pompey’s men; they did so, and prevailed. I bid you strike at the
passions; and if you do, you, too, will prevail. If you can once engage
people’s pride, love, pity, ambition (or whichever is their prevailing
passion) on your side, you need not fear what their reason can do
against you. [Same date.]
My Dear Boy:—
“Sunt quibus in Satirâ videar nimis acer.”
I find, sir, you are one of those; though I cannot imagine
why you think so, unless something that I have said, very innocently,
has happened to be very applicable to somebody or other of your
acquaintance. He makes the satire, who applies it, qui capit ille
facit. I hope you do not think I meant you, by anything I have
said; because, if you do, it seems to imply a consciousness of some
guilt, which I dare not presume to suppose, in your case. I know my
duty too well, to express, and your merit too well to entertain, such
a suspicion. I have not lately read the satirical authors you mention,
having very little time here to read. [Dublin, February, 1746.]
Inattention.—There is no surer sign in the world of a little,
weak mind, than inattention. Whatever is worth doing at all is worth
doing well; and nothing can be done well without attention. It is the
sure answer of a fool, when you ask him about anything that was said
or done where he was present, that “truly he did not mind it.” And why
did not the fool mind it? What had he else to do there, but to mind
what was doing? A man of sense sees, hears, and retains everything
that passes where he is. I desire I may never hear you talk of not
minding, nor complain, as most fools do, of a treacherous memory. Mind,
not only what people say, but how they say it; and, if you have any
sagacity, you may discover more truth by your eyes than by your ears.
People can say what they will, but they cannot look what they will,
and their looks frequently discover what their words are calculated to
conceal. The most material knowledge of all—I mean the knowledge of
the world—is not to be acquired without great attention. [Feb. 26,
1746.]
Women—Classes of Men—Judgment.—Before it is very long, I am
of opinion that you will both think and speak more favorably of women
than you do now. You seem to think, that, from Eve downward, they have
done a great deal of mischief. As for that lady, I give her up to you;
but, since her time, history will inform you that men have done much
more mischief in the world than women; and, to say the truth, I would
not advise you to trust either more than is absolutely necessary. But
this I will advise you to, which is, never to attack whole bodies of
any kind; for, besides that all general rules have their exceptions,
you unnecessarily make yourself a great number of enemies, by attacking
a corps collectively. Among women, as among men, there are good
as well as bad, and it may be full as many, or more, good than among
men. This rule holds as to lawyers, soldiers, parsons, courtiers,
citizens, etc. They are all men, subject to the same passions and
sentiments, differing only in the manner, according to their several
educations; and it would be as imprudent as unjust to attack any
of them by the lump. Individuals forgive sometimes; but bodies and
societies never do. Many young people think it very genteel and witty
to abuse the clergy; in which they are extremely mistaken; since, in
my opinion, parsons are very like other men, and neither the better
nor the worse for wearing a black gown. All general reflections, upon
nations and societies, are the trite, threadbare jokes of those who set
up for wit without having any, and so have recourse to commonplace.
Judge of individuals from your own knowledge of them, and not from
their sex, profession, or denomination. [April, 1746.]
How to Travel.—I am very well pleased to find that you inform
yourself of the particulars of the several places you go through. You
do mighty right to see the curiosities in those several places; such
as the golden Bull at Frankfort, the tun at Heidelberg, etc.
Other travellers see them and talk of them; it is very proper to see
them, too; but remember, that seeing is the least material object
of, travelling; hearing and knowing are the essential points.28
[September, 1746. From Bath.]
False Delicacy.—As for the mauvaise honte, I hope you
are above it; your figure is like other people’s, I hope you will take
care that your dress is so, too. Why, then, should you be ashamed? Why
not go into mixed company with as little concern as you would into your
own room? [Bath, September.]
The Well Bred Man.—Feels himself firm and easy in all
companies; is modest without being bashful, and steady without being
impudent; if he is a stranger, he observes, with care, the manners and
ways of the people the most esteemed at that place, and conforms to
them with complaisance. Instead of finding fault with the customs of
that place, and telling the people that the English ones are a thousand
times better (as my countrymen are very apt to do), he commends their
table, their dress, their houses, and their manners, a little more,
it may be, than he really thinks they deserve. But this degree of
complaisance is neither criminal nor abject; and is but a small price
to pay for the good-will and affection of the people you converse with.
As the generality of people are weak enough to be pleased with these
little things, those who refuse to please them, so cheaply, are, in my
mind, weaker than they. [Same month, O. S., 1746.]
“L’Art de Plaire.”—There is a very pretty little French book
written by L’Abbé de Bellegarde, entitled “L’Art de Plaire dans la
Conversation”29; and, though I confess that it is impossible to
reduce the art of pleasing to a system, yet this principle I will lay
down, that the desire of pleasing is at least half the art of doing it;
the rest depends only upon the manner, which attention, observation,
and frequenting good company will teach. But if you are lazy, careless,
and indifferent whether you please or not, depend upon it you never
will please. [Same date.]
Chesterfield’s Intention.—Do not think I mean to dictate as a
parent; I only mean to advise as a friend, and an indulgent one, too;
and do not apprehend that I mean to check your pleasures; of which, on
the contrary, I only desire to be the guide, not the censor. Let my
experience supply your want of it and clear your way in the progress of
your youth of those thorns and briers which scratched and disfigured
me in the course of mine. [Bath, Oct. 4, 1746.]
His Son’s Utter Dependence.—I do not, therefore, so much as
hint to you how absolutely dependent you are on me—that you neither
have nor can have a shilling in the world but from me; and that as I
have no womanish weakness for your person, your merit must, and will,
be the only measure of my kindness—I say, I do not hint these things
to you because I am convinced that you will act right, upon more noble
and generous principles; I mean for the sake of doing right, and out of
affection and gratitude to me. [Same date.]
No Smattering.—Mr. Pope says, very truly,
“A little knowledge is a dangerous thing;
Drink deep, or taste not the Castalian spring.”
And what is called a smattering of everything
infallibly constitutes a coxcomb. I have often, of late, reflected what
an unhappy man I must now have been, if I had not acquired in my youth
some fund and taste of learning. What could I have done with myself,
at this age, without them? I must, as many ignorant people do, have
destroyed my health and faculties by setting away the evenings; or, by
wasting them frivolously in the tattle of women’s company, must have
exposed myself to the ridicule and contempt of those very women; or,
lastly, I must have hanged myself, as a man once did, for weariness
of putting on and pulling off his shoes and stockings every day. My
books, and only my books, are now left me, and I daily find what Cicero
says of learning to be true: “Hæc studia” (says he) “adolescentiam
alunt, senectutem oblectant, secundas res ornant, adversis perfugium,
ac solatium præbent, delectant domi, non impediunt foris, pernoctant
nobiscum, peregrinantur, rusticantur.” [October, 1746.]
Foolish Talk.—The conversation of the ignorant is no
conversation, and gives even them no pleasure; they tire of their own
sterility, and have not matter enough to furnish them with words to
keep up a conversation. [Same date.]
World Knowledge.—Do not imagine that the knowledge, which
I so much recommend to you, is confined to books, pleasing, useful,
and necessary as that knowledge is; but I comprehend in it the great
knowledge of the world, still more necessary than that of books. In
truth, they assist one another reciprocally; and no man will have
either perfectly, who has not both. The knowledge of the world is
only to be acquired in the world, and not in a closet. Books alone
will never teach it you; but they will suggest many things to
your observation, which might otherwise escape you; and your own
observations upon mankind, when compared with those which you will find
in books, will help you to fix the true point. [November, 1746.]
Old Fools.—To know mankind well requires full as much
attention and application as to know books, and, it may be, more
sagacity and discernment. I am, at this time, acquainted with many
elderly people, who have all passed their whole lives in the great
world, but with such levity and inattention, that they know no more of
it now than they did at fifteen. [Same date.]
Introspection.—You must look into people, as well as at
them. Almost all people are born with all the passions, to a certain
degree; but almost every man has a prevailing one, to which the others
are subordinate. Search every one for that ruling passion; pry into
the recesses of his heart, and observe the different workings of the
same passion in different people. And, when you have found out the
prevailing passion of any man, remember never to trust him, where that
passion is concerned. Work upon him by it, if you please; but be upon
your guard yourself against it, whatever professions he may make you.
[Same date.]
Young Stanhope’s Character.—In the strict scrutiny which I
have made into you, I have (thank God) hitherto not discovered any
vice of the heart, or any peculiar weakness of the head: but I have
discovered laziness, inattention, and indifference; faults which are
only pardonable in old men, who, in the decline of life, when health
and spirits fail, have a kind of claim to that sort of tranquillity.
But a young man should be ambitious to shine, and excel; alert, active,
and indefatigable in the means of doing it; and, like Cæsar, “Nil
actum reputans, si quid superesset agendum.” You seem to want that
“vivida vis animi,” which spurs and excites most young men to please,
to shine, to excel. Without the desire and the pains necessary to be
considerable, depend upon it, you never can be so; as, without the
desire and attention necessary to please, you never can please. “Nullum
numen abest, si sit prudentia,” is unquestionably true, with regard to
everything except poetry. [November, 1746.]
How to Dress.—Take great care always to be dressed like the
reasonable people of your own age, in the place where you are; whose
dress is never spoken of one way or another, as either too negligent or
too much studied. [Same date.]
Absent People.—What is commonly called an absent man, is
commonly either a very weak or a very affected man; but be he which he
will, he is, I am sure, a very disagreeable man in company. He fails in
all the common offices of civility; he seems not to know those people
to-day, with whom yesterday he appeared to live in intimacy. He takes
no part in the general conversation; but, on the contrary, breaks into
it from time to time, with some start of his own, as if he waked from a
dream. This (as I said before) is a sure indication, either of a mind
so weak that it is not able to bear above one object at a time; or so
affected, that it would be supposed to be wholly engrossed by, and
directed to, some very great and important objects. Sir Isaac Newton,
Mr. Locke, and (it may be) five or six more, since the creation of the
world, may have had a right to absence, from that intense thought which
the things they were investigating required. But if a young man, and a
man of the world, who has no such avocations to plead, will claim and
exercise that right of absence in company, his pretended right should,
in my mind, be turned into an involuntary absence, by his perpetual
exclusion out of company. [Same date.]
Insult and Injury.—However frivolous a company may be, still,
while you are among them, do not show them by your inattention that
you think them so; but rather take their tone, and conform in some
degree to their weakness, instead of manifesting your contempt for
them. There is nothing that people bear more impatiently, or forgive
less, than contempt; and an injury is much sooner forgotten than an
insult. [Same date.]
Flattery.—Most people (I might say all people) have their
weaknesses; they have their aversions and their likings to such and
such things; so that, if you were to laugh at a man for his aversion to
a cat, or cheese (which are common antipathies), or, by inattention and
negligence, to let them come in his way where you could prevent it, he
would, in the first case, think himself insulted, and, in the second,
slighted; and would remember both. Whereas your care to procure for him
what he likes, and to remove from him what he hates, shows him that he
is at least an object of your attention, flatters his vanity, and makes
him possibly more your friend than a more important service would have
done. With regard to women, attentions still below these are necessary,
and, by the custom of the world, in some measure due, according to the
laws of good breeding.
His Letters.—My long and frequent letters, which I send you,
in great doubt of their success, put me in mind of certain papers,
which you have very lately, and I formerly, sent up to kites, along
the string, which we called messengers; some of them the wind used to
blow away, others were torn by the string, and but few of them got up
and stuck to the kite. But I will content myself now, as I did then, if
some of my present messages do but stick to you.
Employment of Time.—I hope you employ your whole time, which
few people do; and that you put every moment to profit of some kind or
other. I call company, walking, riding, etc., employing one’s time,
and, upon proper occasions, very usefully; but what I cannot forgive
in anybody is sauntering, and doing nothing at all with a thing so
precious as time, and so irrecoverable when lost. [Dec. 9, O. S.,
1746.30]
Vulgar Pleasures.—Many young people adopt pleasures for which
they have not the least taste, only because they are called by that
name. They often mistake so totally as to imagine that debauchery is
pleasure. You must allow that drunkenness, which is equally destructive
to body and mind, is a fine pleasure. Gaming, that draws you into a
thousand scrapes, leaves you penniless, and gives you the air and
manners of an outrageous madman, is another most exquisite pleasure, is
it not? As to running after women, the consequences of that vice are
only the loss of one’s nose, the total destruction of health, and, not
unfrequently, the being run through the body. [March, 1747.]
A Gentleman’s Pleasures.—The true pleasures of a gentleman
are, those of the table, but within the bounds of moderation; good
company, that is to say, people of merit; moderate play, which amuses
without any interested views; and sprightly, gallant conversations with
women of fashion and sense.
These are the real pleasures of a gentleman: which occasion neither
sickness, shame, nor repentance. Whatever exceeds them becomes low
vice, brutal passion, debauchery, and insanity of mind; all of which,
far from giving satisfaction, bring on dishonor and disgrace. Adieu.
[Same date.]
Virtue and Gold.—Virtue and learning, like gold, have their
intrinsic value; but if they are not polished they certainly lose a
great deal of their lustre; and even polished brass will pass upon
more people than rough gold. What a number of sins does the cheerful,
easy, good breeding of the French frequently cover? Many of them want
common sense, many more common learning; but, in general, they make
up so much by their manner for those defects, that frequently they
pass undiscovered. I have often said, and do think, that a Frenchman,
who, with a fund of virtue, learning, and good sense, has the manners
and good breeding of his country, is the perfection of human nature.
[Same date.]
Pleasure.—Do not think that I mean to snarl at pleasure like
a stoic, or to preach against it like a parson; no, I mean to point it
out, and recommend it like an epicurean; I wish you a great deal, and
my only view is to hinder you from mistaking it. [March 6, 1747.]
Goodness.—You know what virtue is; you may have it if you
will; it is in every man’s power, and miserable is the man who has it
not. [Same date.]
The Man of Pleasure.—The character which most young men first
aim at is that of a man of pleasure; but they generally take it upon
trust; and, instead of consulting their own taste and inclinations,
they blindly adopt whatever those with whom they chiefly converse are
pleased to call by the name of pleasure; and a man of pleasure,
in the vulgar acceptation of that phrase, means only a beastly
drunkard, an abandoned whoremaster, and a profligate swearer and
curser. As it may be of use to you, I am not unwilling, though at
the same time ashamed, to own that the vices of my youth proceeded
much more from my silly resolution of being what I heard called a
man of pleasure, than from my own inclinations. I always naturally
hated drinking; and yet I have often drunk, with disgust at the time,
attended by great sickness the next day, only because I then considered
drinking as a necessary qualification for a fine gentleman and a man of
pleasure. [March 27, 1747.]
Gambling.—The same as to gaming. I did not want money, and
consequently had no occasion to play for it; but I thought play another
necessary ingredient in the composition of a man of pleasure, and
accordingly I plunged into it, without desire at first; sacrificed a
thousand real pleasures to it; and made myself solidly uneasy by it for
thirty the best years of my life.
I was even absurd enough, for a little while, to swear, by way of
adorning and completing the shining character which I affected; but
this folly I soon laid aside upon finding both the guilt and the
indecency of it.
Thus seduced by fashion, and blindly adopting nominal pleasures, I
lost real ones; and my fortune impaired, and my constitution shattered,
are, I must confess, the just punishment of my errors.
Take warning then by them; choose your pleasures for yourself, and
do not let them be imposed upon you. Follow nature, and not fashion;
weigh the present enjoyment of your pleasures against the necessary
consequences of them, and then let your own common-sense determine your
choice. [Same date.]
A Life of Real Pleasure.—Were I to begin the world again,
with the experience which I now have of it, I would lead a life of
real, not of imaginary pleasure. I would enjoy the pleasures of the
table and of wine; but stop short of the pains inseparably annexed
to an excess in either. I would not, at twenty years, be a preaching
missionary of abstemiousness and sobriety; and I should let other
people do as they would, without formally and sententiously rebuking
them for it; but I would be most firmly resolved not to destroy my own
faculties and constitution, in complaisance to those who have no regard
to their own. I would play to give me pleasure, but not to give me
pain; that is, I would play for trifles, in mixed companies, to amuse
myself, and conform to custom; but I would take care not to venture
for sums which, if I won, I should not be the better for; but which, if
I lost, I should deeply regret. [Same date.]
Coarse and Vulgar Pleasures.—Does good company care to have
a man reeling drunk among them? Or to see another tearing his hair and
blaspheming, for having lost at play more than he is able to pay? Or
a whoremaster with half a nose, and crippled by coarse and infamous
debauchery? No; those who practise, and much more those who brag of
them, make no part of good company; and are most unwillingly, if ever,
admitted into it.
Fashionable Vices.—A real man of fashion and pleasure
observes decency; at least, neither borrows nor affects vices; and, if
he unfortunately has any, he gratifies them with choice, delicacy, and
secrecy. I have not mentioned the pleasures of the mind (which are the
solid and permanent ones), because they do not come under the head of
what people commonly call pleasures; which they seem to confine to the
senses. The pleasure of virtue, of charity, and of learning is true and
lasting pleasure; which I hope you will be well and long acquainted
with. Adieu! [March, 1747.]
A Fine Edition.—If I am rightly informed, I am now writing
to a fine gentleman, in a scarlet coat laced with gold, a brocade
waistcoat, and all other suitable ornaments. The natural partiality of
every author for his own works, makes me very glad to hear that Mr.
Harte has thought this last edition of mine worth so fine a binding;
and, as he has bound it in red, and gilt it upon the back, I hope
he will take care that it shall be lettered too. A showish
binding attracts the eyes, and engages the attention of everybody; but
with this difference, that women, and men who are like women, mind
the binding more than the book, whereas men of sense and learning
immediately examine the inside, and, if they find that it does not
answer the finery on the outside, they throw it by with the greater
indignation and contempt. I hope that when this edition of my works
shall be opened and read, the best judges will find connection,
consistency, solidity, and spirit in it. Mr. Harte may recensere
and emendare as much as he pleases; but it will be to little
purpose if you do not co-operate with him. The work will be imperfect.
[April 3, O. S., 1747.]
Two Kinds of Salt.—Swiss salt is, I dare say, very good, yet
I am apt to suspect it falls a little short of the true Attic salt,
in which there was a peculiar quickness and delicacy. The same Attic
salt seasoned all Greece; a great deal of it was exported afterwards
to Rome, where it was counterfeited by a composition called urbanity,
which, in some time, was brought to very near the perfection of the
original Attic salt. The more you are powdered with these two kinds
of salt the better you will keep, and the more you will be relished.
[April, 1747.]
One Thing at a Time.—If at a ball, a supper, or a party of
pleasure, a man were to be solving, in his own mind, a problem in
Euclid, he would be a very bad companion, and make a very poor figure
in that company; or if, in studying a problem in his closet, he were to
think of a minuet, I am apt to believe that he would make a very poor
mathematician. There is time enough for everything in the course of the
day, if you do but one thing at once; but there is not time enough in
the year, if you will do two things at a time. [Same date.]
Letter Writing.—The best models31 that you can form
yourself upon, are Cicero, Cardinal d’Ossat, Madame Sevigné, and Comte
Bussy Rabutin. Cicero’s epistles to Atticus and to his familiar friends
are the best examples that you can imitate, in the friendly and the
familiar style. The simplicity and clearness of Cardinal d’Ossat’s
letters show how letters of business ought to be written; no affected
turns, no attempt at wit, obscure or perplex his matter; which is
always plainly and clearly stated, as business always should be. For
gay and amusing letters, for enjouement and badinage,
there are none that equal Comte Bussy’s and Madame Sevigné’s. They are
so natural, they seem to be the extempore conversations of two people
of wit, rather than letters; which are commonly studied, though they
ought not to be so. I would advise you to let that book be one in your
itinerant library. [July 20, 1747.]
Personal Cleanliness.—As you must attend to your manners, so
you must not neglect your person; but take care to be very clean, well
dressed, and genteel; to have no disagreeable attitudes, nor awkward
tricks; which many people use themselves to, and then cannot leave them
off. Do you take care to keep your teeth very clean, by washing them
constantly every morning, and after every meal? This is very necessary,
both to preserve your teeth a great while, and to save you a great deal
of pain. Mine have plagued me long, and are now falling out, merely
for want of care when I was of your age. Do you dress well, and not
too well? Do you consider your air and manner of presenting yourself
enough, and not too much? neither negligent nor stiff. All these
things deserve a degree of care, a second-rate attention; they give an
additional lustre to real merit. My Lord Bacon says that a pleasing
figure is a perpetual letter of recommendation. It is certainly an
agreeable forerunner of merit and smooths the way for it. [July 30,
1747.]
Truth.—Every man seeks for truth; but God only knows who has
found it. It is, therefore, as unjust to persecute as it is absurd
to ridicule people for those several opinions which they cannot help
entertaining upon the conviction of their reason. [Same date.]
Lying.—I really know nothing more criminal, more mean, and
more ridiculous than lying. It is the production either of malice,
cowardice, or vanity; and generally misses of its aim in every one of
these views; for lies are always detected, sooner or later. If I tell
a malicious lie, in order to affect any man’s fortune or character,
I may indeed injure him for some time; but I shall be sure to be the
greatest sufferer myself at last; for as soon as ever I am detected
(and detected I most certainly shall be), I am blasted for the infamous
attempt; and whatever is said afterward, to the disadvantage of that
person, however true, passes for calumny. If I lie, or equivocate,
for it is the same thing, in order to excuse myself for something
that I have said or done, and to avoid the danger or the shame that I
apprehend from it, I discover at once my fear, as well as my falsehood;
and only increase instead of avoiding the danger and the shame; I show
myself to be the lowest and the meanest of mankind, and am sure to be
always treated as such. Fear, instead of avoiding, invites danger;
for concealed cowards will insult known ones. If one has had the
misfortune to be in the wrong, there is something noble in frankly
owning it; it is the only way of atoning for it, and the only way of
being forgiven. Equivocating, evading, shuffling, in order to remove a
present danger or inconveniency, is something so mean, and betrays so
much fear, that whoever practises them always deserves to be, and often
will be, kicked. There is another sort of lies, inoffensive enough
in themselves, but wonderfully ridiculous; I mean those lies which a
mistaken vanity suggests, that defeat the very end for which they are
calculated, and terminate in the humiliation and confusion of their
author, who is sure to be detected. These are chiefly narrative and
historical lies, all intended to do infinite honor to their author. He
is always the hero of his own romances; he has been in dangers from
which nobody but himself ever escaped; he has seen with his own eyes
whatever other people have heard or read of; he has had more bonnes
fortunes than ever he knew women; and has ridden more miles post,
in one day, than ever courier went in two. He is soon discovered,
and as soon becomes the object of universal contempt and ridicule.
Remember, then, as long as you live, that nothing but strict truth can
carry you through the world, with either your conscience or your honor
unwounded. It is not only your duty, but your interest; as a proof of
which you may always observe that the greatest fools are the greatest
liars. For my own part, I judge of every man’s truth by his degree of
understanding. [Sept. 21, 1747.]
Perception of Character.—Search, therefore, with the greatest
care into the characters of all those whom you converse with; endeavor
to discover their predominant passions, their prevailing weaknesses,
their vanities, their follies, and their humors; with all the right
and wrong, wise and silly springs of human actions, which make such
inconsistent and whimsical beings of us rational creatures. A moderate
share of penetration, with great attention, will infallibly make these
necessary discoveries. This is the true knowledge of the world; and
the world is a country which nobody ever yet knew by description;
one must travel through it one’s self to be acquainted with it. The
scholar, who in the dust of his closet talks or writes of the world,
knows no more of it than that orator did of war, who judiciously
endeavored to instruct Hannibal in it. Courts and camps are the only
places to learn the world in. [Oct. 2, 1747.]
Good Breeding.—Civility, which is a disposition to
accommodate and oblige others, is essentially the same in every
country; but good breeding, as it is called, which is the manner of
exerting that disposition, is different in almost every country, and
merely local; and every man of sense imitates and conforms to that
local good breeding of the place which he is at. A conformity and
flexibility of manners is necessary in the course of the world; that
is, with regard to all things which are not wrong in themselves. The
versatile ingenium is the most useful of all. It can turn itself
instantly from one object to another, assuming the proper manner for
each. It can be serious with the grave, cheerful with the gay, and
trifling with the frivolous. Endeavor, by all means, to accommodate
this talent, for it is a very great one. [Same date.]
Self-Love.—Do not let your vanity and self-love make you
suppose that people become your friends at first sight, or even upon a
short acquaintance. Real friendship is a slow grower, and never thrives
unless ingrafted upon a stock of known and reciprocal merit. There is
another kind of nominal friendship, among young people, which is warm
for the time, but, by good luck, of short duration. This friendship
is hastily produced, by their being accidentally thrown together, and
pursuing the same course of riot and debauchery. A fine friendship,
truly! and well cemented by drunkenness and lewdness. It should rather
be called a conspiracy against morals and good manners, and be punished
as such by the civil magistrate. The next thing to the choice of your
friends is the choice of your company. Endeavor, as much as you can, to
keep company with people above you. There you rise as much as you sink
with people below you; for, as I mentioned before, you are whatever
the company you keep is. Do not mistake, when I say company above you,
and think that I mean with regard to their birth; that is the least
consideration; but I mean with regard to their merit, and the light in
which the world considers them. [Oct. 9, 1747.]
Good Company.—There are two sorts of good company; one,
which is called the beau monde, and consists of those people
who have the lead in courts, and in the gay part of life; the other
consists of those who are distinguished by some peculiar merit, or who
excel in some particular and valuable art or science. For my own part,
I used to think myself in company as much above me, when I was with Mr.
Addison and Mr. Pope, as if I had been with all the princes in Europe.
What I mean by low company, which should by all means be avoided, is
the company of those, who, absolutely insignificant and contemptible in
themselves, think they are honored by being in your company, and who
flatter every vice and every folly you have, in order to engage you to
converse with them. The pride of being the first of the company is but
too common; but it is very silly, and very prejudicial. Nothing in the
world lets down a character more than that wrong turn.
You may possibly ask me, whether a man has it always in his power to
get into the best company? and how? I say, yes, he has, by deserving
it; provided he is but in circumstances which enable him to appear upon
the footing of a gentleman. Merit and good breeding will make their way
everywhere. Knowledge will introduce him, and good breeding will endear
him to the best companies; for, as I have often told you, politeness
and good breeding are absolutely necessary to adorn any, or all other
good qualities or talents. Without them, no knowledge, no perfection
whatsoever, is seen in its best light. The scholar, without good
breeding, is a pedant; the philosopher, a cynic; the soldier, a brute;
and every man disagreeable. [Same date.]
Local Propriety.—Remember that there is a local propriety
to be observed in all companies; and that what is extremely proper in
one company may be, and often is, highly improper in another. [Same
date.]
The jokes, the bon mots, the little adventures, which may do
very well in one company, will seem flat and tedious, when related in
another. The particular characters, the habits, the cant of one company
may give merit to a word, or a gesture, which would have none at all if
divested of those accidental circumstances. Here people very commonly
err; and, fond of something that has entertained them in one company,
and in certain circumstances, repeat it with emphasis in another, where
it is either insipid, or, it may be, offensive, by being ill-timed or
misplaced.
Women have, in general, but one object, which is their beauty; upon
which, scarce any flattery is too gross for them to follow. Nature
has hardly formed a woman ugly enough, to be insensible to flattery
upon her person; if her face is so shocking that she must, in some
degree, be conscious of it, her figure and her air, she trusts, make
ample amends for it. If her figure is deformed, her face, she thinks,
counterbalances it. If they are both bad, she comforts herself that
she has graces; a certain manner; a je ne sçais quoi, still
more engaging than beauty. This truth is evident, from the studied
and elaborate dress of the ugliest women in the world. An undoubted,
uncontested, conscious beauty is, of all women, the least sensible of
flattery upon that head; she knows it is her due, and is therefore
obliged to nobody for giving it her. She must be flattered upon her
understanding; which, though she may possibly not doubt of herself, yet
she suspects that men may distrust. [Oct. 16, 1747.]
There are a great many people, who think themselves employed all day,
and who, if they were to cast up their accounts at night, would find
that they had done just nothing. They have read two or three hours,
mechanically, without attending to what they read, and, consequently,
without either retaining it, or reasoning upon it. From thence they
saunter into company, without taking any part in it, and without
observing the characters of the persons, or the subjects of the
conversation; but are either thinking of some trifle, foreign to
the present purpose, or, often, not thinking at all; which silly
and idle suspension of thought they would dignify with the name of
absence and distraction. They go afterwards, it may be,
to the play, where they gape at the company and the lights; but without
minding the very thing they went to, the play. [Oct. 30, 1747.]
Action! Action!—Remember the hoc age; do what you are
about, be that what it will; it is either worth doing well, or not at
all. Wherever you are, have (as the low, vulgar expression is) your
ears and eyes about you. Listen to everything that is said, and see
everything that is done. Observe the looks and countenances of those
who speak, which is often a surer way of discovering the truth, than
from what they say. [Same date.]
Value of Time.—I knew, once, a very covetous, sordid fellow,
who used frequently to say: “Take care of the pence, for the pounds
will take care of themselves.” This was a just and sensible reflection
in a miser. I recommend to you to take care of the minutes; for hours
will take care of themselves. I am very sure that many people lose
two or three hours every day, by not taking care of the minutes.
Never think any portion of time, whatsoever, too short to be employed;
something or other may always be done in it. [Nov. 6, 1747.]
Young People.—The young leading the young is like the blind
leading the blind; “they will both fall into the ditch.” The only sure
guide is he who has often gone the road which you want to go. Let me
be that guide; who have gone all roads; and who can consequently point
out to you the best. If you ask me why I went any of the bad roads
myself? I will answer you, very truly, that it was for want of a good
guide; ill example invited me one way, and a good guide was wanting,
to show me a better. But if anybody, capable of advising me, had taken
the same pains with me, which I have taken, and will continue to take
with you, I should have avoided many follies and inconveniences, which
undirected youth ran me into. My father was neither desirous nor able
to advise me; which is what, I hope, you cannot say of yours. [Nov.
24, 1747.]
From Home.—I send you, by a person who sets out this day
for Leipsic, a small packet from your mamma, containing some valuable
things which you left behind; to which I have added, by way of New
Year’s gift, a very pretty toothpick case; and, by the way, pray
take great care of your teeth, and keep them extremely clean. I have
likewise sent you the Greek roots, lately translated into English from
the French of the Port Royal. Inform yourself what the Port Royal is.
To conclude with a quibble: I hope you will not only feed upon these
Greek roots, but likewise digest them perfectly. Adieu. [Same
date.]
Time.—There is nothing which I more wish that you should
know, and which fewer people do know, than the true use and value of
time. It is in everybody’s mouth; but in few people’s practice. Every
fool, who slatterns away his whole time in nothings, utters, however,
some trite commonplace sentence, of which there are millions, to prove,
at once, the value and the fleetness of time. The sundials, likewise,
all over Europe, have some ingenious inscription to that effect; so
that nobody squanders away their time without hearing and seeing,
daily, how necessary it is to employ it well, and how irrecoverable it
is if lost. But all these admonitions are useless, where there is not
a fund of good sense and reason to suggest them, rather than receive
them. By the manner in which you now tell me that you employ your
time, I flatter myself that you have that fund: that is the fund which
will make you rich indeed. I do not, therefore, mean to give you a
critical essay upon the use and abuse of time; I will only give you
some hints, with regards to the use of one particular period of that
long time which, I hope, you have before you; I mean, the next two
years. Remember then, that whatever knowledge you do not solidly lay
the foundation of before you are eighteen, you will never be master of
while you breathe. [Dec. 11, 1747.]
Knowledge.—Knowledge is a comfortable and necessary retreat
and shelter for us in an advanced age; and if we do not plant it while
young, it will give us no shade when we grow old. [Same date.]
A Classical Student.—I knew a gentleman who was so good a
manager of his time that he would not even lose that small portion
of it which the calls of nature obliged him to pass in the necessary
house; but gradually went through all the Latin poets in those moments.
He bought, for example, a common edition of Horace, of which he tore
off gradually a couple of pages, read them first, and then sent them
down a sacrifice to Cloacina; this was so much time fairly gained.
[Same date.]
Young Stanhope.—Hitherto I have discovered nothing wrong in
your heart, or your head; on the contrary, I think I see sense in the
one, and sentiments in the other. This persuasion is the only motive of
my present affection; which will either increase or diminish, according
to your merit or demerit. If you have the knowledge, the honor, and the
probity which you may have, the marks and warmth of my affection shall
amply reward them. [Dec. 18, 1747.]
Fashionable Ladies.—The company of women of fashion will
improve your manners, though not your understanding; and that
complaisance and politeness, which are so useful in men’s company, can
only be acquired in women’s. [Dec. 29, 1747.]
Talent and Breeding.—Remember always, what I have told you
a thousand times, that all the talents in the world will want all
their lustre, and some part of their use too, if they are not adorned
with that easy good breeding, that engaging manner, and those graces
which seduce and prepossess people in your favor at first sight. A
proper care of your person is by no means to be neglected; always
extremely clean; upon proper occasions, fine. Your carriage genteel,
and your motions graceful. Take particular care of your manner and
address, when you present yourself in company. Let them be respectful
without meanness, easy without too much familiarity, genteel without
affectation, and insinuating without any seeming art or design.
[Same date.]
Polish.—Now, though I would not recommend to you to go into
woman’s company in search of solid knowledge or judgment, yet it has
its use in other respects; for it certainly polishes the manners, and
gives une certaine tournure, which is very necessary in the
course of the world; and which Englishmen have generally less of than
any people in the world. [Jan. 2, 1748.]
A Good Supper.—I cannot say that your suppers are luxurious,
but you must own they are solid; and a quart of soup, and two pounds of
potatoes, will enable you to pass the night without great impatience
for your breakfast next morning. One part of your supper (the potatoes)
is the constant diet of my old friends and countrymen, the Irish,
who are the healthiest and the strongest men that I know in Europe.
[Same date.]
A Greek Professor.—Since you do not care to be an assessor
of the Imperial Chamber, and desire an establishment in England; what
do you think of being Greek professor at one of our universities? It
is a very pretty sinecure, and requires very little knowledge (much
less than, I hope, you have already) of that language. [Jan. 15,
1748.]
A Politician.—Mr. Harte tells me that you set up for a
πολιτικὸς ανὴρ; if so, I presume it is in the view of succeeding me
in my office; which I will very willingly resign to you, whenever you
shall call upon me for it. But, if you intend to be the πολιτικὸς
ανὴρ, or the βεληφόρος ανὴρ, there are some trifling circumstances,
upon which you should previously take your resolution. The first of
which is, to be fit for it; and then, in order to be so, make yourself
master of ancient and modern history and languages. To know perfectly
the constitution, and form of government of every nation; the growth
and decline of ancient and modern empires; and to trace out and reflect
upon the causes of both. To know the strength, the riches, and the
commerce of every country. These little things, trifling as they may
seem, are yet very necessary for a politician to know; and which
therefore, I presume, you will condescend to apply yourself to. There
are some additional qualifications necessary, in the practical part of
business, which may deserve some consideration in your leisure moments;
such as an absolute command of your temper, so as not to be provoked to
passion, upon any account: patience, to hear frivolous, impertinent,
and unreasonable applications: with address enough to refuse, without
offending; or, by your manner of granting, to double the obligation:
dexterity enough to conceal a truth, without telling a lie: sagacity
enough to read other people’s countenances: and serenity enough not to
let them discover anything by yours; a seeming frankness, with a real
reserve. These are the rudiments of a politician; the world must be
your grammar.
Three mails are now due from Holland, so that I have no letters from
you to acknowledge. I therefore conclude with recommending myself to
your favor and protection when you succeed. [Same date.]
Congealed Speech.—I find by Mr. Harte’s last letter, that
many of my letters to you and him have been frozen up in their way to
Leipsic; the thaw has, I suppose, by this time set them at liberty to
pursue their journey to you, and you will receive a glut of them at
once. Hudibras alludes, in this verse,
“Like words congeal’d in northern air,”
to a vulgar notion, that in Greenland words were frozen in their
utterance, and that upon a thaw a very mixed conversation was heard in
the air of all those words set at liberty. [Jan. 29, 1748.]
Political Ignorance of the English.—We are in general in
England ignorant of foreign affairs and of the interests, views,
pretensions, and policy of other courts. That part of knowledge never
enters into our thoughts, nor makes part of our education; for which
reason we have fewer proper subjects for foreign commissions than any
other country in Europe; and, when foreign affairs happen to be debated
in Parliament, it is incredible with how much ignorance. The harvest of
foreign affairs being then so great, and the laborers so few, if you
make yourself master of them, you will make yourself necessary: first
as a foreign, and then as a domestic minister for that department.
[Feb. 9, 1748.]
My Lord’s Dislike of Valets.—I would neither have your new
man nor him whom you have already, put out of livery, which makes them
both impertinent and useless. I am sure that as soon as you shall have
taken the other servant, your present man will press extremely to be
out of livery, and valet de chambre, which is as much as to say, that
he will curl your hair and shave you, but not condescend to do anything
else. Therefore I advise you never to have a servant out of livery;
and though you may not always think proper to carry the servant who
dresses you abroad in the rain and dirt behind a coach or before a
chair, you keep it in your power to do so, if you please, by keeping
him in livery. [Feb. 13, 1748.]
Learned Leisure.—The first use that I made of my liberty was
to come hither [Bath], where I arrived yesterday. My health, though not
fundamentally bad, yet, for want of proper attention of late, wanted
some repairs, which these waters never fail giving it. I shall drink
them a month, and return to London, there to enjoy the comforts of
social life, instead of groaning under the load of business. I have
given the description of the life that I propose to lead for the future
in this motto, which I have put up in the frize (sic) of my
library in my new house:
“Nunc veterum libris, nunc somno, et inertibus horis
Ducere sollicitæ jucunda oblivia vitæ.”
I must observe to you upon this occasion, that the uninterrupted
satisfaction which I expect to find in that library will be chiefly
owing to my having employed some part of my life well at your age.
I wish I had employed it better, and my satisfaction would now be
complete. [Feb. 16, 1748.]
Waste of Time.—I, who have been behind the scenes, both of
pleasure and business, and have seen all the springs and pulleys of
those decorations which astonish and dazzle the audience, retire, not
only without regret, but with contentment and satisfaction. But what I
do, and ever shall, regret, is the time which, while young, I lost in
mere idleness, and in doing nothing. This is the common effect of the
inconsideracy of youth, against which I beg you will be most carefully
upon your guard. The value of moments, when cast up, is immense, if
well employed; if thrown away, their loss is irrecoverable. Every
moment may be put to some use, and that with much more pleasure than
if unemployed. Do not imagine that by the employment of time I mean an
uninterrupted application to serious studies. No; pleasures are, at
proper times, both as necessary and as useful; they fashion and form
you for the world; they teach you characters, and show you the human
heart in its unguarded minutes. But then remember to make that use
of them. I have known many people, from laziness of mind, go through
both pleasure and business with equal inattention; neither enjoying
the one, nor doing the other; thinking themselves men of pleasure
because they were mingled with those who were, and men of business,
because they had business to do, though they did not do it. Whatever
you do, do it to the purpose; do it thoroughly, not superficially.
Approfondissez; go to the bottom of things. Anything half
done, or half known, is, in my mind, neither done nor known at all.
Nay worse, for it often misleads. There is hardly any place, or any
company, where you may not gain knowledge, if you please; almost
everybody knows some one thing, and is glad to talk upon that one
thing. [Same date.]
Proper Inquisitiveness.—Seek, and you will find, in this
world as well as in the next. See everything, inquire into everything;
and you may excuse your curiosity and the questions you ask, which
otherwise might be thought impertinent by your manner of asking them;
for most things depend a great deal upon the manner. As, for example,
I am afraid that I am very troublesome with my questions; but nobody
can inform me so well as you; or something of that kind. [Same
date.]
Religion to be Respected.—But when you frequent places of
public worship, as I would have you go to all the different ones you
meet with, remember that, however erroneous, they are none of them
objects of laughter and ridicule. Honest error is to be pitied, not
ridiculed. The object of all the public worships in the world is the
same; it is that great eternal Being who created everything. The
different manners of worship are by no means subjects of ridicule.
Each sect thinks its own the best; and I know no infallible judge, in
this world, to decide which is the best. [Same date.]
Use a Note-Book.—Make the same inquiries, wherever you are,
concerning the revenues, the military establishment, the trade, the
commerce, and the police of every country. And you would do well to
keep a blank paper book, which the Germans call an album; and
there, instead of desiring, as they do, every fool they meet with to
scribble something, write down all these things, as soon as they come
to your knowledge from good authorities. [Same date.]
Lord Chesterfield’s Care.—I have now but one anxiety left,
which is concerning you. I would have you be, what I know nobody is,
perfect. As that is impossible, I would have you as near perfection
as possible. I know nobody in a fairer way toward it than yourself,
if you please. Never were so much pains taken for anybody’s education
as for yours; and never had anybody those opportunities of knowledge
and improvement which you have had, and still have. I hope, I wish, I
doubt, and I fear alternately. This only I am sure of, that you will
prove either the greatest pain, or the greatest pleasure of, yours
always truly. [Same date.]
Pedants.—Others, to show their learning, or often from the
prejudices of a school education, where they hear of nothing else, are
always talking of the ancients, as something more than men, and of the
moderns as something less. They are never without a classic or two in
their pockets; they stick to the old good sense; they read none of
the modern trash; and will show you plainly that no improvement has
been made, in any one art or science, these last seventeen hundred
years. I would by no means have you disown your acquaintance with the
ancients; but still less would I have you brag of an exclusive intimacy
with them. Speak of the moderns without contempt, and of the ancients
without idolatry; judge them all by their merits, but not by their
ages; and if you happen to have an Elzevir classic in your pocket,
neither show it nor mention it. [Bath, Feb. 22, 1748.]
Blindness to Heroism.—Take into your consideration, if you
please, cases seemingly analogous; but take them as helps only, not
as guides. We are really so prejudiced by our educations that, as the
ancients deified their heroes, we deify their madmen; of which, with
all due regard to antiquity, I take Leonidas and Curtius to have been
two distinguished ones. And yet a solid pedant would, in a speech
in Parliament, relative to a tax of twopence in the pound, upon some
commodity or other, quote those two heroes as examples of what we ought
to do and suffer for our country. [Same date.]
Injudicious Learning.—I have known these absurdities carried
so far by people of injudicious learning, that I should not be
surprised if some of them were to propose, while we were at war with
the Gauls, that a number of geese should be kept in the Tower, upon
account of the infinite advantage which Rome received, in a parallel
case, from a certain number of geese in the Capitol. This way of
reasoning and this way of speaking will always form a poor politician
and a puerile declaimer. [Same date.]
How “to Wear” Learning.—Wear your learning like your watch,
in a private pocket; and do not pull it out and strike it, merely to
show that you have one. If you are asked what o’clock it is, tell it,
but do not proclaim it hourly and unasked, like the watchman. [Same
date.]
The Graces.—A thousand little things, not separately to be
defined, conspire to form these graces, this je ne sais quoi
that always pleases. A pretty person, genteel motions, a proper degree
of dress, an harmonious voice, something open and cheerful in the
countenance, but without laughing; a distinct and properly varied
manner of speaking; all these things, and many others, are necessary
ingredients in the composition of the pleasing je ne sais quoi,
which everybody feels, though nobody can describe. Observe carefully,
then, what displeases or pleases you, in others, and be persuaded,
that, in general, the same things will please or displease others, in
you. Having mentioned laughing, I must particularly warn you against
it; and I could heartily wish that you may often be seen to smile, but
never heard to laugh while you live. Frequent and loud laughter is the
characteristic of folly and ill-manners; it is the manner in which the
mob express their silly joy at silly things; and they call it being
merry. In my mind, there is nothing so illiberal and so ill-bred as
audible laughter. [March 9, 1748.]
The Folly of Laughter.—True wit or sense never yet made
anybody laugh; they are above it; they please the mind and give a
cheerfulness to the countenance. But it is low buffoonery or silly
accidents that always excite laughter; and that is what people of
sense and breeding should show themselves above. A man’s going to sit
down, in the supposition that he has a chair behind him, and falling
down upon his breech for want of one, sets a whole company a-laughing,
when all the wit in the world would not do it; a plain proof, in my
mind, how low and unbecoming a thing laughter is. Not to mention the
disagreeable noise that it makes, and the shocking distortion of
the face that it occasions. Laughter is easily restrained by a very
little reflection; but as it is generally connected with the idea of
gaiety, people do not enough attend to its absurdity. I am neither of a
melancholy nor a cynical disposition; and am as willing and as apt to
be pleased as anybody; but I am sure that, since I have had the full
use of my reason, nobody has ever heard me laugh. [Same date.]
The Mind.—It requires, also, a great deal of exercise, to
bring it to a state of health and vigor. Observe the difference there
is between minds cultivated and minds uncultivated, and you will, I am
sure, think that you cannot take too much pains, nor employ too much
of your time in the culture of your own. A drayman is probably born
with as good organs as Milton, Locke, or Newton; but, by culture, they
are much more above him than he is above his horse. Sometimes, indeed,
extraordinary geniuses have broken out by the force of nature, without
the assistance of education; but those instances are too rare for
anybody to trust to; and even they would make a much greater figure
if they had the advantage of education into the bargain. [April 1,
1748.]
See all Things.—At least, see everything that you can see,
and know everything that you can know of it, by asking questions.
See likewise everything at the fair, from operas and plays down to
the Savoyards’ rareeshows. Everything is worth seeing once; and the
more one sees, the less one either wonders or admires. [April 15,
1748.]
Falsehood Universal.—Falsehood and dissimulation are
certainly to be found at courts; but where are they not to be found?
Cottages have them as well as courts; only with worse manners. A couple
of neighboring farmers, in a village, will contrive and practice as
many tricks to overreach each other at the next market, or to supplant
each other in the favor of the squire, as any two courtiers can do
to supplant each other in the favor of their prince. Whatever poets
may write, or fools believe, of rural innocence and truth, and of the
perfidy of courts, this is most undoubtedly true—that shepherds and
ministers are both men; their nature and passions the same, the modes
of them only different. [May 10, 1748.]
Vulgar Scoffers.—Religion is one of their favorite topics;
it is all priestcraft; and an invention contrived and carried on by
priests, of all religions, for their own power and profit; from this
absurd and false principle flow the commonplace, insipid jokes and
insults upon the clergy. With these people, every priest, of every
religion, is either a public or a concealed unbeliever, drunkard, and
whoremaster; whereas I conceive that priests are extremely like other
men, and neither the better nor the worse for wearing a gown or a
surplice; but, if they are different from other people, probably it is
rather on the side of religion and morality, or at least decency, from
their education and manner of life. [Same date.]
Wit—False and Vulgar.—Another common topic for false wit
and cold raillery is matrimony. Every man and his wife hate each other
cordially, whatever they may pretend, in public, to the contrary. The
husband certainly wishes his wife at the devil, and the wife certainly
cuckolds her husband. Whereas I presume that men and their wives
neither love nor hate each other the more upon account of the form of
matrimony which has been said over them. The cohabitation, indeed,
which is the consequence of matrimony, makes them either love or hate
more, accordingly as they respectively deserve it; but that would be
exactly the same, between any man and woman, who lived together without
being married. [Same date.]
Snubbing a “Wit.”—I always put these pert jackanapeses out
of countenance, by looking extremely grave, when they expect that I
should laugh at their pleasantries; and by saying Well, and so;
as if they had not done, and that the sting were still to come. This
disconcerts them, as they have no resources in themselves, and have but
one set of jokes to live upon. [Same date.]
Method and Manner.—The manner of doing things is often more
important than the things themselves; and the very same thing may
become either pleasing or offensive, by the manner of saying or doing
it. Materiam superabat opus is often said of works of sculpture,
where though the materials were valuable, as silver, gold, etc., the
workmanship was still more so. [Same date.]
Chesterfield’s Proposed Aim.—The end which I propose by your
education, and which (if you please) I shall certainly attain, is to
unite in you the knowledge of a scholar with the manners of a courtier;
and to join, what is seldom joined in any of my countrymen, books and
the world. They are commonly twenty years old before they have spoken
to anybody above their schoolmaster and the fellows of their college.
If they happen to have learning, it is only Greek and Latin; but not
one word of modern history or modern languages. Thus prepared, they
go abroad, as they call it; but, in truth, they stay at home all that
while; for being very awkward, confoundedly ashamed, and not speaking
the languages, they go into no foreign company, at least none good;
but dine and sup with one another only, at the tavern. Such examples,
I am sure, you will not imitate, but even carefully avoid. [Same
date.]
Good Company.—You will always take care to keep the
best company in the place where you are, which is the only use of
travelling; and (by the way) the pleasures of a gentleman are only to
be found in the best company; for that riot which low company, most
falsely and impudently, call pleasure, is only the sensuality of a
swine. [Same date.]
Manly Deference to Rank.—People of a low, obscure education
cannot stand the rays of greatness; they are frightened out of their
wits when kings and great men speak to them; they are awkward, ashamed,
and do not know what nor how to answer, whereas: les honnêtes
gens are not dazzled by superior rank; they know and pay all the
respect that is due to it; but they do it without being disconcerted;
and can converse just as easily with a king as with any one of his
subjects. That is the great advantage of being introduced young into
good company, and being used early to converse with one’s superiors.
How many men have I seen here, who, after having had the full benefit
of an English education, first at school and then at the university,
when they have been presented to the king, did not know whether they
stood upon their heads or their heels. [May 17, 1748.]
Vulgarity and Good Breeding at Court.—If the king spoke
to them, they were annihilated; they trembled, endeavored to put
their hands in their pockets and missed them, let their hats fall,
and were ashamed to take them up; and, in short, put themselves in
every attitude but the right, that is, the easy and natural one. The
characteristic of a well-bred man is, to converse with his inferiors
without insolence, and with his superiors with respect and with ease.
He talks to kings without concern; he trifles with women of the first
condition, with familiarity, gaiety, but respect; and converses with
his equals, whether he is acquainted with them or not, upon general,
common topics, that are not, however, quite frivolous, without the
least concern of mind or awkwardness of body; neither of which can
appear to advantage, but when they are perfectly easy. [Same
date.]
Filial Love to the Mother.—You owe her not only duty,
but likewise great obligations, for her care and tenderness; and
consequently cannot take too many opportunities of showing your
gratitude.32 [Same date.]
Consider your own Situation.—You have not the advantage of
rank and fortune to bear you up; I shall, very probably, be out of the
world before you can properly be said to be in it. What then will you
have to rely on but your own merit? That alone must raise you, and
that alone will raise you, if you have but enough of it. I have often
heard and read of oppressed and unrewarded merit, but I have oftener
(I might say always) seen great merit make its way, and meet with its
reward, to a certain degree at least, in spite of all difficulties.
By merit I mean the moral virtues, knowledge, and manners; as to the
moral virtues, I say nothing to you; they speak best for themselves;
nor can I suspect that they want any recommendation with you; I will,
therefore, only assure you that, without them you will be most unhappy.
[May 27, 1748.]
Diplomatic Education.—You must absolutely speak all the
modern languages, as purely and correctly as the natives of the
respective countries; for whoever does not speak a language perfectly
and easily, will never appear to advantage in conversation, nor treat
with others in it upon equal terms. As for French, you have it very
well already; and must necessarily, from the universal usage of that
language, know it better and better every day; so that I am in no pain
about that. German, I suppose, you know pretty well by this time, and
will be quite master of it before you leave Leipsic; at least I am sure
you may. Italian and Spanish will come in their turns; and, indeed,
they are both so easy, to one who knows Latin and French, that neither
of them will cost you much time or trouble. [Same date.]
Advantages of Manners.—Manners, though the last, and it may
be the least ingredient of real merit, are, however, very far from
being useless in its composition; they adorn, and give an additional
force and lustre to both virtue and knowledge. They prepare and smooth
the way for the progress of both; and are, I fear, with the bulk of
mankind, more engaging than either. Remember, then, the infinite
advantage of manners; cultivate and improve your own to the utmost;
good sense will suggest the great rules to you, good company will do
the rest. [Same date.]
Foreign Ministers.—You are the only one I ever knew, of this
country, whose education was, from the beginning, calculated for the
department of foreign affairs; in consequence of which, if you will
invariably pursue, and diligently qualify yourself for that object,
you may make yourself absolutely necessary to the government; and,
after having received orders as a minister abroad, send orders, in your
turn, as Secretary of State at home. Most of our ministers abroad have
taken up that department occasionally, without having ever thought of
foreign affairs before—many of them, without speaking any one foreign
language; and all of them without the manners which are absolutely
necessary towards being well received and making a figure at foreign
courts. [Same date.]
How to be Considerable.—Upon the whole, if you have a mind
to be considerable, and to shine hereafter, you must labor hard now.
No quickness of parts, no vivacity, will do long, or go far, without a
solid fund of knowledge; and that fund of knowledge will amply repay
all the pains that you can take in acquiring it. Reflect seriously,
within yourself, upon all this, and ask yourself, whether I can have
any view, but your interest, in all that I recommend to you. [Same
date.]
The Pope’s Power.—Indulgences stood instead of armies, in
the times of ignorance and bigotry; but now that mankind is better
informed, the spiritual authority of the Pope is not only less
regarded, but even despised, by the Catholic princes themselves; and
his holiness is actually little more than Bishop of Rome. [May 31,
1748.]
Papal Virtues.—Alexander VI., together with his natural son,
Cæsar Borgia, was famous for his wickedness, in which he, and his
son too, surpassed all imagination. Their lives are well worth your
reading. They were poisoned themselves by the poisoned wine which they
had prepared for others; the father died of it, but Cæsar recovered.
Sixtus V. was the son of a swineherd, and raised himself to the popedom
by his abilities; he was a great knave, but an able and a singular one.
Here is history enough for to-day. [Same date.]
Awkward Speech.—Good God! if this ungraceful and disagreeable
manner of speaking had, either by your negligence or mine, become
habitual to you, as in a couple of years more it would have been, what
a figure would you have made in company, or in a public assembly? Who
would have liked you in the one, or have attended to you in the other?
Read what Cicero and Quintilian say of enunciation, and see what a
stress they lay upon the gracefulness of it; nay, Cicero goes further,
and even maintains that a good figure is necessary for an orator; and,
particularly, that he must not be vastus; that is, overgrown and
clumsy. He shows by it that he knew mankind well, and knew the powers
of an agreeable figure and a graceful manner. [June 21, 1748.]
Enunciation—Eloquence.—Your figure is a good one; you
have no natural defect in the organs of speech; your address may be
engaging, and your manner of speaking graceful, if you will; so that,
if they are not so, neither I nor the world can ascribe it to any thing
but your want of parts. What is the constant and just observation
as to all actors upon the stage? Is it not, that those who have the
best sense always speak the best, though they may happen not to have
the best voices? They will speak plainly, distinctly, and with the
proper emphasis, be their voices ever so bad. Had Roscius spoken
quick, thick, and ungracefully, I will answer for
it that Cicero would not have thought him worth the oration which he
made in his favor. Words were given us to communicate our ideas by; and
there must be something inconceivably absurd in uttering them in such a
manner as that either people cannot understand them, or will not desire
to understand them. I tell you truly and sincerely that I shall judge
of your parts by your speaking gracefully or ungracefully. If you have
parts, you will never be at rest till you have brought yourself to a
habit of speaking most gracefully; for I aver that it is in your power.
[Same date.]
Articulation.—You will take care to open your teeth when you
speak; to articulate every word distinctly; and to beg of Mr. Harte,
Mr. Eliot, or whomever you speak to, to remind and stop you, if ever
you fall into the rapid and unintelligible mutter. You will even read
aloud to yourself, and tune your utterance to your own ear; and read at
first much slower than you need to do, in order to correct yourself of
that shameful trick of speaking faster than you ought.
Proper Carriage.—Next to graceful speaking, a genteel
carriage and a graceful manner of presenting yourself are extremely
necessary, for they are extremely engaging; and carelessness in these
points is much more unpardonable in a young fellow than affectation. It
shows an offensive indifference about pleasing. I am told by one here,
who has seen you lately, that you are awkward in your motions, and
negligent of your person. I am sorry for both; and so will you, when it
will be too late, if you continue so some time longer. Awkwardness of
carriage is very alienating, and a total negligence of dress and air is
an impertinent insult upon custom and fashion. [Same date.]
Desert and Reward.—Deserve a great deal, and you shall have
a great deal; deserve little, and you shall have but a little; and be
good for nothing at all, and I assure you, you shall have nothing at
all.
Solid knowledge, as I have often told you, is the first and great
foundation of your future fortune and character; for I never mention
to you the two much greater points of religion and morality, because I
cannot possibly suspect you as to either of them. [July 1, 1748.]
No One Contemptible.—Be convinced that there are no persons
so insignificant and inconsiderable, but may some time or other, and in
something or other, have it in their power to be of use to you; which
they certainly will not, if you have once shown them contempt. [Same
date.]
The Folly of Contempt.—Wrongs are often given, but contempt
never is. Our pride remembers it forever. It implies a discovery of
weaknesses, which we are much more careful to conceal than crimes. Many
a man will confess his crimes to a common friend, but I never knew a
man who would tell his silly weaknesses to his most intimate one. As
many a friend will tell us our faults without reserve, who will not
so much as hint at our follies; that discovery is too mortifying to
our self-love, either to tell another, or to be told of, one’s self.
You must, therefore, never expect to hear of your weaknesses, or your
follies, from anybody but me; those I will take pains to discover, and
whenever I do, I shall tell you of them. [Same date.]
Good Nature.—Your school-fellow, Lord Pulteney, set out last
week for Holland, and will, I believe, be at Leipsic soon after this
letter. You will take care to be extremely civil to him, and to do him
any service that you can, while you stay there; let him know that I
wrote you to do so. As being older, he should know more than you; in
that case, take pains to get up to him; but if he does not, take care
not to let him feel his inferiority. He will find it out of himself,
without your endeavors; and that cannot be helped; but nothing is more
insulting, more mortifying, and less forgiven, than avowedly to take
pains to make a man feel a mortifying inferiority in knowledge, rank,
fortune, etc. In the two last articles it is unjust, they not being in
his power; and in the first it is both ill-bred and ill-natured. Good
breeding and good nature do incline us rather to help and raise people
up to ourselves, than to mortify and depress them, and, in truth, our
own private interest concurs in it, as it is making ourselves so many
friends, instead of so many enemies. [July 6, 1748.]
Les Attentions.—The constant practice of what the French
call les attentions is a most necessary ingredient in the
art of pleasing; they flatter the self-love of those to whom they
are shown; they engage, they captivate, more than things of much
greater importance. The duties of social life every man is obliged
to discharge; but these attentions are voluntary acts, the free-will
offerings of good breeding and good nature; they are received,
remembered, and returned as such. Women, particularly, have a right
to them; and any omission in that respect is downright ill breeding.
[Same date.]
An Educational Test.—Tell me what Greek and Latin books you
can now read with ease. Can you open Demosthenes at a venture, and
understand him? Can you get through an oration of Cicero, or a satire
of Horace, without difficulty? What German book do you read to make
yourself master of that language? And what French books do you read
for your amusement? Pray give me a particular and true account of all
this; for I am not indifferent as to any one thing that relates to you.
[Same date.]
Lazy Minds.—There are two sorts of understandings; one
of which hinders a man from ever being considerable, and the other
commonly makes him ridiculous; I mean the lazy mind, and the trifling,
frivolous mind. Yours, I hope, is neither. The lazy mind will not take
the trouble of going to the bottom of anything; but, discouraged by
the difficulties (and everything worth knowing or having is attended
with some), stops short, contents itself with easy and, consequently,
superficial knowledge, and prefers a great degree of ignorance to
a small degree of trouble. These people either think or represent
most things as impossible; whereas few things are so to industry and
activity. [July 26, 1748.]
Resolution.—But difficulties seem to them (lazy people)
impossibilities, or at least they pretend to think them so, by way of
excuse for their laziness. An hour’s attention to the same object is
too laborious for them; they take everything in the light in which it
first presents itself, never considering it in all its different views;
and, in short, never think it thorough. The consequence of this is,
that when they come to speak upon these subjects before people who have
considered them with attention, they only discover their own ignorance
and laziness, and lay themselves open to answers that put them in
confusion. Do not then be discouraged by the first difficulties,
but contra audentior ito; and resolve to go to the bottom of
all those things which every gentleman ought to know well. [Same
date.]
Conversation.—When you are in company, bring the conversation
to some useful subject, but à portée of that company. Points of
history, matters of literature, the customs of particular countries,
the several orders of knighthood, as Teutonic, Maltese, etc., are
surely better subjects of conversation than the weather, dress, or
fiddle-faddle stories, that carry no information along with them.
The characters of kings and great men are only to be learned in
conversation; for they are never fairly written during their lives.
[Same date.]
Always Ask.—Never be ashamed nor afraid of asking questions;
for if they lead to information, and if you accompany them with some
excuse, you will never be reckoned an impertinent or rude questioner.
All those things, in the common course of life, depend entirely upon
the manner; and in that respect the vulgar saying is true, “That one
man may better steal a horse, than another look over the hedge.”
[Same date.]
Two Heads.—I am very glad that Mr. Lyttelton approves of my
new house, and particularly of my Canonical33 pillars. My bust
of Cicero is a very fine one, and well preserved; it will have the best
place in my library, unless, at your return, you bring me over as good
a modern head of your own, which I should like still better. I can tell
you that I shall examine it as attentively as ever antiquary did an old
one. [Same date.]
A Picture.—Duval, the jeweler, is arrived, and was with me
three or four days ago. You will easily imagine that I asked him a
few questions concerning you; and I will give you the satisfaction
of knowing that, upon the whole, I was very well pleased with the
account he gave me. But, though he seemed to be much in your interest,
yet he fairly owned to me that your utterance was rapid, thick, and
ungraceful. I can add nothing to what I have already said upon this
subject; but I can and do repeat the absolute necessity of speaking
distinctly and gracefully.34 [Aug. 2, 1748.]
Diet.—He tells me that you are pretty fat for one of your
age; this you should attend to in a proper way; for if, while very
young, you should grow fat, it would be troublesome, unwholesome, and
ungraceful; you should therefore, when you have time, take very strong
exercise, and in your diet avoid fattening things. All malt liquors
fatten, or at least bloat; and I hope you do not deal much in them.
[Same date.]
Be Natural.—I have this moment received your letter of the
4th, N. S., and have only time to tell you, that I can by no means
agree to your cutting off your hair. I am very sure that your headaches
cannot proceed from thence. And as for the pimples upon your head, they
are only owing to the heat of the season; and consequently will not
last long. But your own hair is, at your age, such an ornament, and a
wig, however well made, such a disguise, that I will upon no account
whatsoever have you cut off your hair. Nature did not give it you for
nothing, still less to cause you the headache. Mr. Eliot’s hair grew so
ill and bushy, that he was in the right to cut it off; but you have not
the same reason. [Same date.]
Buying Books.—Mr. Harte wrote me word some time ago, and
Mr. Eliot confirms it now, that you employ your pin-money in a very
different manner from that in which pin-money35 is commonly lavished.
Not in gewgaws and baubles, but in buying good and useful books. This
is an excellent symptom, and gives me very good hopes. Go on thus, my
dear boy, but for these two next years, and I ask no more. You must
then make such a figure, and such a fortune in the world, as I wish
you, and as I have taken all these pains to enable you to do. After
that time, I allow you to be as idle as ever you please; because I am
sure that you will not then please to be so at all. The ignorant and
the weak only are idle; but those, who have once acquired a good stock
of knowledge, always desire to increase it. Knowledge is like power, in
this respect, that those who have the most, are most desirous of having
more. It does not clog, by possession, but increases desires; which is
the case of very few pleasures. [Aug. 23, 1748.]
Gratitude to a Tutor.—Upon receiving this congratulatory
letter, and reading your own praises, I am sure that it must naturally
occur to you, how great a share of them you owe to Mr. Harte’s care
and attention; and, consequently, that your regard and affection for
him must increase, if there be room for it, in proportion as you reap,
which you do daily, the fruits of his labors. [Same date.]
Historical Faith.—Take nothing for granted, upon the bare
authority of the author; but weigh and consider, in your own mind, the
probability of the facts, and the justness of the reflections. Consult
different authors upon the same facts, and form your opinion upon the
greater or lesser degree of probability arising from the whole, which,
in my mind, is the utmost stretch of historical faith, certainty (I
fear) not being to be found. [Aug. 30, 1748.]
Good and Bad Mixed.—The best have something bad, and
something little; the worst have something good, and sometimes
something great; for I do not believe what Valleius Paterculus (for
the sake of saying a pretty thing) says of Scipio, “Qui nihil non
laudandum aut fecit, aut dixit, aut sensit.” [Same date.]
The Ruling Passion.—Seek for their particular merit, their
predominant passion, or their prevailing weakness, and you will then
know what to bait your hook with, to catch them. Man is a composition
of so many and such various ingredients, that it requires both time and
care to analyze him: for though we have, all, the same ingredients in
our general composition, as reason, will, passions, and appetites, yet
the different proportions and combinations of them, in each individual,
produce that infinite variety of characters, which, in some particular
or other, distinguishes every individual from another. Reason ought to
direct the whole, but seldom does. [Sept. 5, 1748.]
Bruyère and Rochefoucault.—I will recommend to your attentive
perusal, now you are going into the world, two books, which will
let you as much into the characters of men as books can do. I mean
“Les Réflexions Morales de Monsieur de la Rochefoucault,” and “Les
Caractères de la Bruyère”: but remember, at the same time, that I only
recommend them to you as the best general maps, to assist you in your
journey, and not as marking out every particular turning and winding
that you will meet with. There, your own sagacity and observation
must come to their aid. La Rochefoucault is, I know, blamed, but I
think without reason, for deriving all our actions from the source of
self-love. For my own part, I see a great deal of truth, and no harm at
all, in that opinion.
The reflection which is the most censured in Monsieur de la
Rochefoucault’s book, as a very ill-natured one, is this: “On trouve
dans le malheur de son meilleur ami, quelque chose qui ne déplaît pas.”
And why not? Why may I not feel a very tender and real concern for
the misfortune of my friend, and yet at the same time feel a pleasing
consciousness at having discharged my duty to him, by comforting and
assisting him to the utmost of my power in that misfortune? Give me but
virtuous actions, and I will not quibble and chicane about the motives.
And I will give anybody their choice of these two truths, which amount
to the same thing: He who loves himself best is the honestest man; or,
The honestest man loves himself best. [Same date.]
Woman.—As women are a considerable, or at least a pretty
numerous part of company, and as their suffrages go a great way toward
establishing a man’s character, in the fashionable part of the world
(which is of great importance to the fortune and figure he proposes
to make in it), it is necessary to please them. I will, therefore,
upon this subject, let you into certain arcana that will be
very useful for you to know, but which you must, with the utmost
care, conceal; and never seem to know. Women, then, are only children
of a larger growth; they have an entertaining tattle, and sometimes
wit; but for solid, reasoning good sense, I never in my life knew one
that had it, or who reasoned or acted consequentially for four-and-twenty
hours together. Some little passion or humor always breaks in
upon their best resolutions. Their beauty neglected or controverted,
their age increased, or their supposed understandings depreciated,
instantly kindles their little passions, and overturns any system of
consequential conduct, that in their most reasonable moments they might
have been capable of forming. A man of sense only trifles with them,
plays with them, humors and flatters them, as he does with a sprightly,
forward child; but he neither consults them about, nor trusts them
with, serious matters; though he often makes them believe that he does
both, which is the thing in the world that they are proud of, for they
love mightily to be dabbling in business (which, by the way, they
always spoil); and being justly distrustful, that men in general look
upon them in a trifling light, they almost adore that man who talks
more seriously to them, and who seems to consult and trust them—I say,
who seems—for weak men really do, but wise ones only seem to do it.
No flattery is either too high or too low for them. They will greedily
swallow the highest, and gracefully accept of the lowest; and you may
safely flatter any woman, from her understanding down to the exquisite
taste of her fan. Women, who are either indisputably beautiful
or indisputably ugly, are best flattered upon the score of their
understandings; but those who are in a state of mediocrity are best
flattered upon their beauty, or at least their graces, for every woman
who is not absolutely ugly thinks herself handsome, but not hearing
often that she is so, is the more grateful and the more obliged to the
few who tell her so; whereas a decided and conscious beauty looks upon
every tribute paid to her beauty only as her due, but wants to shine,
and to be considered on the side of her understanding; and a woman,
who is ugly enough to know that she is so, knows that she has nothing
left for it but her understanding, which is consequently, (and probably
in more senses than one) her weak side. But these are secrets which
you must keep inviolably, if you would not, like Orpheus, be torn to
pieces by the whole sex. On the contrary, a man who thinks of living
in the great world must be gallant, polite, and attentive to please the
women. They have from the weakness of men, more or less influence in
all courts; they absolutely stamp every man’s character in the beau
monde, and make it either current, or cry it down, and stop it in
payments. It is, therefore, absolutely necessary to manage, please, and
flatter them; and never to discover the least marks of contempt, which
is what they never forgive; but in this they are not singular, for it
is the same with men; who will much sooner forgive an injustice than an
insult. [Same date.]
Contempt.—Every man is not ambitious, or covetous, or
passionate; but every man has pride enough in his composition to feel
and resent the least slight and contempt. Remember, therefore, most
carefully to conceal your contempt, however just, wherever you would
not make an implacable enemy. Men are much more unwilling to have their
weaknesses and their imperfections known, than their crimes; and, if
you hint to a man that you think him silly, ignorant or even ill-bred
or awkward, he will hate you more and longer than if you tell him,
plainly, that you think him a rogue. Never yield to that temptation,
which, to most young men, is very strong, of exposing other people’s
weaknesses and infirmities, for the sake either of diverting the
company, or of showing your own superiority. You may get the laugh on
your side by it, for the present; but you will make enemies by it for
ever; and even those who laugh with you then, will, upon reflection,
fear, and consequently hate you; besides that, it is ill-natured; and
a good heart desires rather to conceal, than expose, other people’s
weaknesses or misfortunes. If you have wit, use it to please, and not
to hurt; you may shine, like the sun in the temperate zones, without
scorching. Here it is wished for; under the line it is dreaded.
[Same date.]
Caligula.—Another very just observation of the Cardinal’s36
is, that the things which happen in our own times, and which we see
ourselves, do not surprise us near so much as the things which we read
of in times past, though not in the least more extraordinary; and adds
that he is persuaded that, when Caligula made his horse a consul, the
people of Rome at that time were not greatly surprised at it, having
necessarily been in some degree prepared for it, by an insensible
gradation of extravagancies from the same quarter. [Sept. 13,
1748.]
Antiquity is Strange.—We read every day, with astonishment,
things which we see every day without surprise. We wonder at the
intrepidity of a Leonidas, a Codrus, and a Curtius; and are not the
least surprised to hear of a sea captain who has blown up his ship,
his crew, and himself, that they might not fall into the hands of the
enemies of his country. I cannot help reading of Porsenna and Regulus
with surprise and reverence; and yet I remember that I saw, without
either, the execution of Shepherd, a boy of eighteen years old, who
intended to shoot the late king, and who would have been pardoned if he
would have expressed the least sorrow for his intended crime; but, on
the contrary, he declared, that, if he was pardoned, he would attempt
it again; that he thought it a duty which he owed his country; and
that he died with pleasure for having endeavored to perform it. Reason
equals Shepherd to Regulus; but prejudice, and the recency of the
fact, make Shepherd a common malefactor, and Regulus a hero. [Same
date.]
Secrets.—The last observation that I shall now mention of the
Cardinal’s is, “That a secret is more easily kept by a good many people
than one commonly imagines.” By this he means a secret of importance
among people interested in the keeping of it. And it is certain that
people of business know the importance of secrecy, and will observe
it where they are concerned in the event. To go and tell any friend,
wife, or mistress, any secret with which they have nothing to do, is
discovering to them such an unretentive weakness as must convince them
that you will tell it to twenty others, and consequently that they may
reveal it without the risk of being discovered. But a secret properly
communicated only to those who are to be concerned in the thing in
question, will probably be kept by them, though they should be a good
many. Little secrets are commonly told again, but great ones generally
kept. Adieu. [Same date.]
Trifles.—How trifling soever these things may seem, or
really be, in themselves, they are no longer so, when above half the
world thinks them otherwise. And, as I would have you omnibus
ornatum—excellere rebus, I think nothing above or below my
pointing out to you, or your excelling in. You have the means of doing
it, and time before you to make use of them. Take my word for it, I ask
nothing now but what you will, twenty years hence, most heartily wish
that you had done. [Sept. 20, 1748.]
The Pedant and the Scholar.—A gentleman has, probably, read
no other Latin than that of the Augustan age; and therefore can write
no other; whereas the pedant has read much more bad Latin than good;
and consequently writes so too. He looks upon the best classical books
as books for schoolboys, and consequently below him, but pores over
fragments of obscure authors, treasures up the obsolete words which he
meets with there, and uses them upon all occasions, to show his reading
at the expense of his judgment. Plautus is his favorite author, not
for the sake of the wit and the vis comica of his comedies; but
upon account of the many obsolete words and the cant of low characters,
which are to be met with nowhere else. He will rather use olli
than illi, optumè than optimè, and any bad word,
rather than any good one, provided he can but prove that, strictly
speaking, it is Latin; that is, that it was written by a Roman.
[Sept. 27, 1748.]
A Detestable Doctrine.—I must now say something as to the
matter of the lecture; in which I confess there is one doctrine laid
down that surprises me; it is this: “Quum vero hostis sit lenta citave
morte omnia dira nobis minitans quocunque bellantibus negotium est,
parum sane interfuerit quo modo eum obruere et interficere satagamus
si ferociam exuere cunctetur. Ergo veneno quoque uti fas est,” etc.,
whereas I cannot conceive that the use of poison can, upon any
account, come within the lawful means of self-defence. Force may,
without doubt, be justly repelled by force; but not by treachery and
fraud; for I do not call the stratagems of war, such as ambuscades,
masked batteries, false attacks, etc., frauds or treachery; they are
mutually to be expected and guarded against; but poisoned arrows,
poisoned waters, or poison administered to your enemy (which can only
be done by treachery), I have always heard, read, and thought to be
unlawful and infamous means of defence, be your danger ever so great;
but, si ferociam exuere cunctetur; must I rather die than poison
this enemy? Yes, certainly, much rather die than do a base or criminal
action; nor can I be sure, beforehand, that this enemy may not in the
last moment ferociam exuere. But the public lawyers now seem to
me rather to warp the law, in order to authorize than to check those
unlawful proceedings of princes and states; which, by being become
common, appear less criminal; though custom can never alter the nature
of good and ill.
Pray let no quibbles of lawyers, no refinements of casuists break into
the plain notions of right and wrong which every man’s right reason and
plain common sense suggest to him. To do as you would be done by is
the plain, sure, and undisputed rule of morality and justice. Stick
to that; and be convinced that whatever breaks into it, in any degree,
however speciously it may be turned, and however puzzling it may be to
answer it, is, notwithstanding, false in itself, unjust, and criminal.
I do not know a crime in the world which is not, by the casuists among
the Jesuits (especially the twenty-four collected, I think, by Escobar)
allowed in some, or many cases, not to be criminal. The principles
first laid down by them are often specious, the reasonings plausible;
but the conclusion always a lie; for it is contrary to that evident
and undeniable rule of justice which I have mentioned above, of not
doing to any one what you would not have him do to you. But, however,
these refined pieces of casuistry and sophistry being very convenient
and welcome to people’s passions and appetites, they gladly accept the
indulgence without desiring to detect the fallacy of the reasoning;
and indeed many, I might say most people, are not able to do it; which
makes the publication of such quibblings and refinements the more
pernicious. I am no skilful casuist nor subtle disputant; and yet I
would undertake to justify and qualify the profession of a highwayman
step by step, and so plausibly as to make many ignorant people embrace
the profession as an innocent, if not even a laudable one; and to
puzzle people of some degree of knowledge to answer me point by point.
I have seen a book entitled “Quidlibet ex Quolibet,” or the art of
making any thing out of any thing; which is not so difficult as it
would seem, if once one quits certain plain truths, obvious in growth
to every understanding, in order to run after the ingenious refinements
of warm imaginations and speculative reasonings. Doctor Berkeley,
Bishop of Cloyne, a very worthy, ingenious, and learned man, has
written a book to prove that there is no such thing as matter, and that
nothing exists but in idea; that you and I only fancy ourselves eating,
drinking, and sleeping; you at Leipsic, and I at London; that we think
we have flesh and blood, legs, arms, etc., but that we are only spirit.
His arguments are, strictly speaking, unanswerable; but yet I am so far
from being convinced by them that I am determined to go on to eat and
drink, and walk and ride, in order to keep that matter, which
I so mistakenly imagine my body at present to consist of, in as good
plight as possible. Common sense (which, in truth, is very uncommon)
is the best sense I know of; abide by it; it will counsel you best.
Read and hear for your amusement, ingenious systems, nice questions,
subtlely agitated, with all the refinements that warm imaginations
suggest; but consider them only as exercitations for the mind, and
return always to settle with common sense. [Same date.]
Letters.—Your letters, except when upon a given subject, are
exceedingly laconic, and neither answer my desires, nor the purpose
of letters; which should be familiar conversations, between absent
friends. As I desire to live with you upon the footing of an intimate
friend, and not of a parent, I could wish that your letters gave me
more particular accounts of yourself, and of your lesser transactions.
When you write to me, suppose yourself conversing freely with me, by
the fireside. In that case, you would naturally mention the incidents
of the day; as where you had been, whom you had seen, what you thought
of them, etc. Do this in your letters; acquaint me sometimes with your
studies, sometimes with your diversions; tell me of any new persons and
characters that you meet with in company, and add your own observations
upon them; in short, let me see more of you, in your letters. [Same
date.]
Good Company.—To keep good company, especially at your first
setting out, is the way to receive good impressions. If you ask me
what I mean by good company, I will confess to you that it is pretty
difficult to define; but I will endeavor to make you understand it as
well as I can.
Good company is not what respective sets of company are pleased
either to call or think themselves; but it is that company which all
the people of the place call, and acknowledge to be good company,
notwithstanding some objections which they may form to some of the
individuals who compose it. It consists chiefly (but by no means
without exception) of people of considerable birth, rank, and
character: for people of neither birth nor rank are frequently and
very justly admitted into it, if distinguished by any peculiar merit,
or eminency in any liberal art or science. Nay, so motley a thing is
good company, that many people without birth, rank, or merit, intrude
into it by their own forwardness; and others slide into it by the
protection of some considerable person; and some even of indifferent
characters and morals make part of it. But, in the main, the good part
preponderates, and people of infamous and blasted characters are never
admitted. In this fashionable good company the best manners and the
best language of the place are most unquestionably to be learnt; for
they establish and give the tone to both, which are therefore called
the language and manners of good company; there being no legal tribunal
to ascertain either.
A company consisting wholly of people of the first quality cannot,
for that reason, be called good company, in the common acceptation of
the phrase, unless they are, into the bargain, the fashionable and
accredited company of the place; for people of the very first quality
can be as silly, as ill-bred, and as worthless, as people of the
meanest degree. On the other hand, a company consisting entirely of
people of very low condition, whatever their merits or parts may be,
can never be called good company; and consequently, should not be much
frequented, though by no means despised.
A company wholly composed of men of learning, though greatly to be
valued and respected, is not meant by the words good company:
they cannot have the easy manners and tournure of the world,
as they do not live in it. If you can bear your part well in such a
company, it is extremely right to be in it sometimes, and you will be
but more esteemed, in other companies, for having a place in that.
But then do not let it engross you; for if you do, you will be only
considered as one of the litterati by profession; which is not
the way either to shine or rise in the world.
The company of professed wits and poets is extremely inviting to most
young men; who, if they have wit themselves, are pleased with it, and
if they have none, are sillily proud of being one of it: but it should
be frequented with moderation and judgment, and you should by no means
give yourself up to it. A wit is a very unpopular denomination, as it
carries terror along with it; and people in general are as much afraid
of a live wit, in company, as a woman is of a gun, which she thinks
may go off of itself, and do her a mischief. Their acquaintance is,
however, worth seeking, and their company worth frequenting; but not
exclusively of others, nor to such a degree as to be considered only as
one of that particular set.
But the company, which of all others you should most carefully avoid,
is that low company, which in every sense of the word, is low indeed;
low in rank, low in parts, low in manners, and low in merit [Oct.
12, 1748.]
Associates.—There is good sense in the Spanish saying, “Tell
me whom you live with, and I will tell you who you are.” Make it
therefore your business, wherever you are, to get into that company
which everybody of the place allows to be the best company, next to
their own: which is the best definition that I can give you of good
company. But here, too, one caution is very necessary; for want of
which many young men have been ruined, even in good company. Good
company (as I have before observed) is composed of a great variety of
fashionable people, whose characters and morals are very different,
though their manners are pretty much the same. When a young man, now in
the world, first gets into that company, he very rightly determines to
conform to and imitate it. But then he too often, and fatally, mistakes
the objects of his imitation. He has often heard that absurd term of
genteel and fashionable vices. [Same date.]
Behavior.—Imitate, then, with discernment and judgment, the
real perfections of the good company into which you may get; copy their
politeness, their carriage, their address, and the easy and well-bred
turn of their conversation; but remember that, let them shine ever so
bright, their vices, if they have any, are so many spots which you
would no more imitate than you would make an artificial wart upon your
face, because some very handsome man had the misfortune to have a
natural one upon his; but, on the contrary, think how much handsomer he
would have been without it. [Same date.]
Talking.—Talk often, but never long; in that case, if you do
not please, at least you are sure not to tire your hearers. Pay your
own reckoning, but do not treat the whole company; this being one of
the very few cases in which people do not care to be treated, every one
being fully convinced that he has wherewithal to pay.
Tell stories seldom, and absolutely never but where they are very apt
and very short. Omit every circumstance that is not material, and
beware of digressions. To have frequent recourse to narrative betrays
great want of imagination.
Never hold anybody by the button or the hand, in order to be heard out;
for if people are not willing to hear you, you had much better hold
your tongue than them.
Most long talkers single out some one unfortunate man in company
(commonly him whom they observe to be the most silent, or their next
neighbor) to whisper, or at least, in a half voice, to convey a
continuity of words to. This is excessively ill-bred, and, in some
degree, a fraud; conversation stock being a joint and common property.
But, on the other hand, if one of these unmerciful talkers lays hold
of you, hear him with patience (and at least seeming attention) if he
is worth obliging; for nothing will oblige him more than a patient
hearing, as nothing would hurt him more than either to leave him in
the midst of his discourse or to discover your impatience under your
affliction.
Take rather than give the tone of the company you are in. If you have
parts you will show them more or less upon every subject; and if you
have not, you had better talk sillily upon a subject of other people’s
than of your own choosing.
Avoid as much as you can in mixed companies, argumentative, polemical
conversations; which, though they should not, yet certainly do,
indispose, for a time, the contending parties towards each other; and
if the controversy grows warm and noisy, endeavor to put an end to it
by some genteel levity or joke. I quieted such a conversation hubbub
once by presenting to them that, though I was persuaded none there
present would repeat out of company what passed in it, yet I could not
answer for the discretion of the passengers in the street, who must
necessarily hear all that was said.
Above all things, and upon all occasions, avoid speaking of yourself if
it be possible. Such is the natural pride and vanity of our hearts that
it perpetually breaks out, even in people of the best parts, in all the
various modes and figures of the egotism. [Oct. 19, 1748.]
Silly Vanity.—This principle of vanity and pride is so strong
in human nature that it descends even to the lowest objects; and one
often sees people angling for praise, where, admitting all they say
to be true (which, by the way, it seldom is), no just praise is to be
caught. One man affirms that he has rode post a hundred miles in six
hours; probably it is a lie; but supposing it to be true, what then?
Why, he is a very good postboy, that is all. Another asserts, and
probably not without oaths, that he has drunk six or eight bottles of
wine at a sitting; out of charity I will believe him a liar; for if I
do not, I must think him a beast. [Same date.]
Yourself.—The only sure way of avoiding these evils is never
to speak of yourself at all. But when historically you are obliged
to mention yourself, take care not to drop one single word that can
directly or indirectly be construed as fishing for applause. Be your
character what it will, it will be known; and nobody will take it
upon your own word. Never imagine that anything you can say yourself
will varnish your defects or add lustre to your perfections; but on
the contrary, it may, and nine times in ten will, make the former
more glaring and the latter obscure. If you are silent upon your own
subject, neither envy, indignation, nor ridicule will obstruct or allay
the applause which you may really deserve; but if you publish your own
panegyric upon any occasion or in any shape whatsoever, and however
artfully dressed or disguised, they will all conspire against you, and
you will be disappointed of the very end you aim at. [Same date.]
Scandal—Mimicry—Swearing—Laughter.—Neither retail nor
receive scandal willingly; for though the defamation of others may
for the present gratify the malignity of the pride of our hearts,
cool reflection will draw very disadvantageous conclusions from such
a disposition; and in the case of scandal, as in that of robbery, the
receiver is always thought as bad as the thief.
Mimicry, which is the common and favorite amusement of little, low
minds, is in the utmost contempt with great ones. It is the lowest
and most illiberal of all buffoonery. Pray neither practise it
yourself, nor applaud it in others. Besides that, the person mimicked
is insulted; and as I have often observed to you before, an insult is
never forgiven.
I need not (I believe) advise you to adapt your conversation to the
people you are conversing with; for I suppose you would not, without
this caution, have talked upon the same subject and in the same manner
to a minister of state, a bishop, a philosopher, a captain, and a
woman. A man of the world must, like the chameleon (sic), be
able to take every different hue; which is by no means a criminal or
abject, but a necessary complaisance, for it relates only to manners,
and not to morals.
One word only as to swearing; and that I hope and believe is more
than is necessary. You may sometimes hear some people in good company
interlard their discourse with oaths by way of embellishment, as they
think; but you must observe, too, that those who do so are never those
who contribute in any degree to give that company the denomination of
good company. They are always subalterns or people of low education;
for that practice, besides that it has no one temptation to plead, is
as silly and as illiberal as it is wicked.
Loud laughter is the mirth of the mob, who are only pleased with silly
things; for true wit or good sense never excited a laugh since the
creation of the world. A man of parts and fashion is therefore only
seen to smile, but never heard to laugh.
But to conclude this long letter; all the above-mentioned rules,
however carefully you may observe them, will lose half their effect if
unaccompanied by the Graces. Whatever you say, if you say it with a
supercilious, cynical face, or an embarrassed countenance, or a silly,
disconcerted grin, will be ill received. If, into the bargain, you
mutter it, or utter it indistinctly and ungracefully, it will be
still worse received. If your air and address are vulgar, awkward, and
gauche, you may be esteemed indeed, if you have great intrinsic
merit; but you will never please, and, without pleasing, you will rise
but heavily. Venus, among the ancients, was synonymous with the Graces,
who were always supposed to accompany her; and Horace tells us that
even Youth and Mercury, the god of arts and eloquence, would not do
without her.
“—Parùm comis sine te Juventas,
Mercuriusque.”
They are not inexorable ladies, and may be had if properly and
diligently pursued. Adieu. [Same date.]
The Duty of a Mentor.—I have long since done mentioning
your great religious and moral duties; because I could not make your
understanding so bad a compliment, as to suppose that you wanted,
or could receive, any new instructions upon those two important
points. Mr. Harte, I am sure, has not neglected them; besides, they
are so obvious to common sense and reason, that commentators may (as
they often do) perplex, but cannot make them clearer. My province,
therefore, is to supply, by my experience, your, hitherto, inevitable
inexperience in the ways of the world. People at your age are in a
state of natural ebriety; and want rails, and gardefous,
wherever they go, to hinder them from breaking their necks. This
drunkenness of youth is not only tolerated, but even pleases, if kept
within certain bounds of discretion and decency. Those bounds are the
point which it is difficult for the drunken man himself to find out;
and there it is that the experience of a friend may not only serve but
save him.
Carry with you, and welcome, into company, all the gaiety and spirits,
but as little of the giddiness, of youth as you can. The former will
charm; but the latter will often, though innocently, implacably offend.
Inform yourself of the characters and situations of the company, before
you give way to what your imagination may prompt you to say. There are,
in all companies, more wrong heads than right ones, and many more who
deserve than who like censure. [Oct. 29, 1748.]
Egotism.—Cautiously avoid talking of either your own or other
people’s domestic affairs.37 Yours are nothing to them, but tedious;
theirs are nothing to you. The subject is a tender one; and it is odds
but you touch somebody or other’s sore place; for, in this case, there
is no trusting to specious appearances; which may be, and often are, so
contrary to the real situation of things, between men and their wives,
parents and their children, seeming friends, etc., that, with the best
intentions in the world, one often blunders disagreeably.
Remember, that the wit, humor, and jokes of most mixed companies are
local. They thrive in that particular soil, but will not often bear
transplanting. Every company is differently circumstanced, has its
particular cant, and jargon; which may give occasion to wit and mirth,
within that circle, but would seem flat and insipid in any other, and
therefore will not bear repeating. [Same date.]
Good Fellows.—You will find, in most good company, some
people who only keep their place there by a contemptible title enough;
these are what we call very good-natured fellows, and the French
bons diables. The truth is, they are people without any parts or
fancy, and who, having no will of their own, readily assent to, concur
in, and applaud, whatever is said or done in the company; and adopt,
with the same alacrity, the most virtuous or the most criminal, the
wisest or the silliest scheme, that happens to be entertained by the
majority of the company. This foolish, and often criminal, complaisance
flows from a foolish cause; the want of any other merit. I hope you
will hold your place in company by a nobler tenure, and that you will
hold it (you can bear a quibble, I believe, yet) in capite.
Have a will and an opinion of your own, and adhere to them steadily;
but then do it with good humor, good breeding, and (if you have it)
with urbanity; for you have not yet beard enough either to preach or
censure. [Same date.]
The Fine Gentleman.—What the French justly call les
manières nobles, are only to be acquired in the very best
companies. They are the distinguishing characteristics of men of
fashion: people of low education never wear them so close, but that
some part or other of the original vulgarism appears. Les manières
nobles equally forbid insolent contempt, or low envy and jealousy.
Low people, in good circumstances, fine clothes, and equipage, will
insolently show contempt for all those who cannot afford as fine
clothes, as good an equipage, and who have not (as they term it) as
much money in their pockets: on the other hand, they are gnawed with
envy, and cannot help discovering it, of those who surpass them in any
of these articles; which are far from being sure criterions of merit.
They are, likewise, jealous of being slighted; and, consequently,
suspicious and captious: they are eager and hot about trifles; because
trifles were, at first, their affairs of consequence. Les manières
nobles imply exactly the reverse of all this. Study them early; you
cannot make them too habitual and familiar to you. [Same date.]
I like the description of your pic-nic;38 where, I take it for
granted, that your cards are only to break the formality of a circle,
and your symposium intended more to promote conversation than drinking.
Such an amicable collision, as Lord Shaftesbury very prettily
calls it, rubs off and smooths those rough corners, which mere nature
has given to the smoothest of us. I hope some part, at least, of the
conversation is in German. [Same date.]
The Graces.—I send you Mr. Locke’s book upon education,
in which you will find the stress he lays upon the graces, which he
calls (and very truly) good breeding. I have marked all the parts of
that book which are worth your attention; for as he begins with the
child, almost from its birth, the parts relative to its infancy would
be useless to you. Germany is, still less than England, the seat of
the graces; however you had as good not to say so while you are there.
[Nov. 18, 1748.]
The Duke of Marlborough.—Of all the men that ever I knew in
my life (and I knew him extremely well), the late Duke of Marlborough
possessed the graces in the highest degree, not to say engrossed them;
and indeed he got the most by them; for I will venture (contrary to
the custom of profound historians, who always assign deep causes for
great events) to ascribe the better half of the Duke of Marlborough’s
greatness and riches to those graces. He was eminently illiterate;
wrote bad English, and spelled it still worse. He had no share of
what is commonly called parts; that is, he had no brightness,
nothing shining in his genius. He had, most undoubtedly, an excellent
good plain understanding, with sound judgment. But these alone would
probably have raised him but something higher than they found him;
which was page to King James the Second’s Queen. There the graces
protected and promoted him; for, while he was an ensign of the Guards,
the Duchess of Cleveland, then favorite mistress to King Charles the
Second, struck by those very graces, gave him five thousand pounds,
with which he immediately bought an annuity for his life, of five
hundred pounds a year, of my grandfather, Halifax, which was the
foundation of his subsequent fortune. His figure was beautiful, but
his manner was irresistible, to either man or woman. It was by this
engaging, graceful manner that he was enabled, during all his war,
to connect the various and jarring powers of the Grand Alliance, and
to carry them on to the main object of the war, notwithstanding their
private and separate views, jealousies, and wrongheadedness. Whatever
court he went to (and he was often obliged to go himself to some testy
and refractory ones), he as constantly prevailed, and brought them
into his measures. The Pensionary Heinsius, a venerable old minister,
grown gray in business, and who had governed the Republic of the
United Provinces for more than forty years, was absolutely governed
by the Duke of Marlborough, as that republic feels to this day. He
was always cool; and nobody ever observed the least variation in his
countenance; he could refuse more gracefully than other people could
grant; and those who went away from him the most dissatisfied, as to
the substance of their business, were yet personally charmed with him,
and, in some degree, comforted by his manner. With all his gentleness
and gracefulness, no man living was more conscious of his situation,
nor maintained his dignity better. [Same date.]
A Father’s Anxiety.—This subject is inexhaustible, as it
extends to everything that is to be said or done; but I will leave it
for the present, as this letter is already pretty long. Such is my
desire, my anxiety for your perfection, that I never think I have said
enough, though you may possibly think I have said too much; and though,
in truth, if your own good sense is not sufficient to direct you, in
many of these plain points, all that I or anybody else can say will be
insufficient. But, where you are concerned, I am the insatiable man in
Horace, who covets still a little corner more, to complete the figure
of his field. I dread every little corner that may deform mine, in
which I would have (if possible) no one defect. [Same date.]
Mourning.—I am at present under very great concern for the
loss of a most affectionate brother, with whom I had always lived in
the closest friendship. My brother John died last Friday night, of a
fit of the gout, which he had had for about a month in his hands and
feet, and which fell at last upon his stomach and head. As he grew,
towards the last, lethargic, his end was not painful to himself. At the
distance which you are from hence, you need not go into mourning upon
this occasion, as the time of your mourning would be near over before
you could put it on. [Dec. 6, 1748.]
Frivolity.—Little minds mistake little objects for great
ones, and lavish away upon the former that time and attention which
only the latter deserve. To such mistakes we owe the numerous and
frivolous tribe of insect-mongers, shell-mongers, and pursuers and
driers of butterflies, etc. The strong mind distinguishes, not only
between the useful and the useless, but likewise between the useful and
the curious. He applies himself intensely to the former; he only amuses
himself with the latter. Of this little sort of knowledge, which I
have just hinted at, you will find, at least, as much as you need wish
to know, in a superficial but pretty French book, entitled “Spectacle
de la Nature,” which will amuse you while you read it, and give you a
sufficient notion of the various parts of nature; I would advise you to
read it at leisure hours. [Same date.]
Astronomy.—But that part of nature which, Mr. Harte tells
me, you have begun to study, with the Rector magnificus, is
of much greater importance, and deserves much more attention; I mean
astronomy. The vast and immense planetary system, the astonishing
order and regularity of those innumerable worlds, will open a scene to
you which not only deserves your attention as a matter of curiosity,
or rather astonishment; but, still more, as it will give you greater
and consequently juster ideas of that eternal and omnipotent Being,
who contrived, made, and still preserves that universe, than all the
contemplation of this, comparatively, very little orb, which we at
present inhabit, could possibly give you. Upon this subject, Monsieur
Fontenelle’s “Pluralité des Mondes,” which you may read in two hours’
time, will both inform and please you. God bless you! Yours. [Same
date.]
The whole morning, if diligently and attentively devoted to solid
studies, will go a great way at the year’s end; and the evenings spent
in the pleasures of good company will go as far in teaching you a
knowledge not much less necessary than the other—I mean the knowledge
of the world. Between these two necessary studies, that of books in
the morning, and that of the world in the evening, you see that you
will not have one minute to squander or slattern away. Nobody ever
lent themselves more than I did, when I was young, to the pleasures
and dissipation of good company; I even did it too much. But then,
I can assure you that I always found time for serious studies; and
when I could find it no other way, I took it out of my sleep, for I
resolved always to rise early in the morning, however late I went to
bed at night; and this resolution I have kept so sacred that, unless
when I have been confined to my bed by illness, I have not for more
than forty years ever been in bed at nine o’clock in the morning, but
commonly up before eight. [Dec. 13, 1748.]
Writing.—Why do you not form your Roman characters better?
for I maintain that it is in every man’s power to write what hand he
pleases; and consequently that he ought to write a good one. You form,
particularly, your ee and your ll in zigzag, instead of making them
straight, as thus, ee, ll; a fault very easily mended.
You will not, I believe, be angry with this little criticism, when I
tell you that, by all the accounts I have had of late, from Mr. Harte
and others, this is the only criticism that you give me occasion to
make. [Dec. 20, 1748.]
A Portrait.—Consider what lustre and éclat it will
give you when you return here, to be allowed to be the best scholar,
of a gentleman, in England; not to mention the real pleasure and solid
comfort which such knowledge will give you throughout your whole life.
Mr. Harte tells me another thing which, I own, I did not expect; it
is that, when you read aloud, or repeat part of plays, you speak very
properly and distinctly. This relieves me from great uneasiness, which
I was under upon account of your former bad enunciation. Go on, and
attend most diligently to this important article. It is, of all the
graces (and they are all necessary), the most necessary one. [Same
date.]
The Desire of Praise.—But here let me, as an old stager upon
the theatre of the world, suggest one consideration to you, which
is, to extend your desire of praise a little beyond the strictly
praiseworthy; or else you may be apt to discover too much contempt for
at least three parts in the five of the world, who will never forgive
it you. In the mass of mankind, I fear, there is too great a majority
of fools and knaves; who, singly from their number, must to a certain
degree be respected, though they are by no means respectable. And a
man, who will show every knave or fool that he thinks him such, will
engage in a most ruinous war, against numbers much superior to those
that he and his allies can bring into the field. Abhor a knave, and
pity a fool in your heart, but let neither of them, unnecessarily, see
that you do so. Some complaisance and attention to fools is prudent,
and not mean; as a silent abhorrence of individual knaves is often
necessary, and not criminal. [Same date.]
A Compliment.—Lady Chesterfield bids me tell you that she
decides entirely in your favor,39 against Mr. Grevenkop, and even
against herself; for she does not think that she could, at this time,
write either so good a character, or so good German. Pray write her
a German letter upon that subject; in which you may tell her that,
like the rest of the world, you approve of her judgment, because it
is in your favor; and that you true Germans cannot allow Danes to be
competent judges of your language, etc. [Same date.]
Affectation.—Any affectation whatsoever in dress implies,
in my mind, a flaw in the understanding. Most of our young fellows
here display some character or other by their dress: some affect the
tremendous, and wear a great and fiercely cocked hat, an enormous
sword, a short waistcoat, and a black cravat; these I should be almost
tempted to swear the peace against, in my own defence, if I were not
convinced that they are but meek asses in lions’ skins. Others go in
brown frocks, leather breeches, great oaken cudgels in their hands,
their hats uncocked, and their hair unpowdered; and imitate grooms,
stage-coachmen, and country bumpkins, so well in their outsides, that I
do not make the least doubt of their resembling them equally in their
insides. A man of sense carefully avoids any particular character in
his dress; he is accurately clean for his own sake; but all the rest
is for other people’s. He dresses as well, and in the same manner, as
the people of sense and fashion of the place where he is. If he dresses
better, as he thinks, that is, more than they, he is a fop; if he
dresses worse, he is unpardonably negligent; but, of the two, I would
rather have a young fellow too much than too little dressed; the excess
on that side will wear off, with a little age and reflection; but if
he is negligent at twenty, he will be a sloven at forty, and stink at
fifty years old. Dress yourself fine, where others are fine; and plain,
where others are plain; but take care, always, that your clothes are
well made and fit you, for otherwise they will give you a very awkward
air. When you are once well dressed for the day, think no more of it
afterwards; and, without any stiffness for fear of discomposing that
dress, let all your motions be as easy and natural as if you had no
clothes on at all. So much for dress, which I maintain to be a thing of
consequence in the polite world. [Dec. 30, 1748.]
A Happy New Year.—I send you, my dear child (and you will
not doubt), very sincerely, the wishes of the season. May you deserve
a great number of happy new years; and, if you deserve, may you have
them! Many new years, indeed, you may see, but happy ones you cannot
see without deserving them. These, virtue, honor, and knowledge, alone
can merit, alone can procure. “Dii tibi dent annos de te nam cætera
sumes,” was a pretty piece of poetical flattery, where it was said; I
hope that in time it may be no flattery when said to you. But, I assure
you, that, whenever I cannot apply the latter part of the line to you
with truth, I shall neither say, think, nor wish the former. Adieu.
[Same date.]
Rational Pleasures.—Now that you are going a little more into
the world, I will take this occasion to explain my intentions as to
your future expenses, that you may know what you have to expect from
me, and make your plan accordingly. I shall neither deny nor grudge
you any money that may be necessary for either your improvement or
your pleasures; I mean, the pleasures of a rational being. Under the
head of improvement, I mean the best books, and the best masters,
cost what they will; I also mean all the expense of lodgings, coach,
dress, servants, etc., which, according to the several places where
you may be, shall be respectively necessary, to enable you to keep
the best company. Under the head of rational pleasures, I comprehend,
first, proper charities, to real and compassionate objects of it;
secondly, proper presents, to those to whom you are obliged, or whom
you desire to oblige; thirdly, a conformity of expense to that of the
company which you keep—as in public spectacles, your share of little
entertainments, a few pistoles at games of mere commerce, and other
incidental calls of good company. The only two articles which I will
never supply, are the profusion of low riot and the idle lavishness
of negligence and laziness. A fool squanders away, without credit or
advantage to himself, more than a man of sense spends with both. The
latter employs his money as he does his time, and neither spends a
shilling of the one, nor a minute of the other, but in something that
is either useful or rationally pleasing to himself or others. The
former buys whatever he does not want, and does not pay for what he
does want. He cannot withstand the charms of a toy-shop; snuff-boxes,
watches, heads of canes, etc., are his destruction. His servants and
tradesmen conspire with his own indolence, to cheat him; and, in a
little time, he is astonished, in the midst of all the ridiculous
superfluities, to find himself in want of all the real comforts and
necessaries of life. Without care and method the largest fortune will
not, and with them, almost the smallest will, supply all necessary
expenses. As far as you can possibly, pay ready money for everything
you buy, and avoid bills. Pay that money too, yourself, and not
through the hands of any servant, who always either stipulates
poundage, or requires a present for his good word, as they call it.
Where you must have bills (as for meat and drink, clothes, etc.) pay
them regularly every month, and with your own hand. Never, from a
mistaken economy, buy a thing you do not want, because it is cheap; or,
from a silly pride, because it is dear. Keep an account, in a book, of
all that you receive, and of all that you pay; for no man, who knows
what he receives, and what he pays, ever runs out. I do not mean that
you should keep an account of the shillings and half-crowns which you
may spend in chair-hire, operas, etc., they are unworthy of the time,
and of the ink, that they would consume; leave such minutiæ to
dull, pennywise fellows; but remember, in economy, as well as in every
other part of life, to have the proper attention to proper objects, and
the proper contempt for little ones. A strong mind sees things in their
true proportions: a weak one views them through a magnifying medium;
which, like the microscope, makes an elephant of a flea; magnifies
all little objects, but cannot receive great ones. I have known many
a man pass for a miser, by saving a penny, and wrangling for two
pence, who was undoing himself, at the same time, by living above his
income, and not attending to essential articles, which were above his
portée. The sure characteristic of a sound and strong mind is,
to find, in everything, those certain bounds, quos ultra citrave
nequit consistere rectum. These boundaries are marked out by a very
fine line, which only good sense and attention can discover; it is
much too fine for vulgar eyes. In manners, this line is good breeding;
beyond it, is troublesome ceremony; short of it, is unbecoming
negligence and inattention. In morals, it divides ostentatious
Puritanism from criminal relaxation; in religion, superstition from
impiety; and, in short, every virtue from its kindred vice or weakness.
I think you have sense enough to discover the line; keep it always
in your eye, and learn to walk upon it; rest upon Mr. Harte, and he
will poise you till you are able to go alone. By the way, there are
fewer people who walk well upon that line, than upon the slack rope;
and therefore a good performer shines so much the more. [Jan. 10,
1749.]
Dancing.—Remember to take the best dancing master at Berlin,
more to teach you to sit, stand, and walk gracefully, than to dance
finely. The Graces, the Graces; remember the Graces! Adieu. [Same
date.]
The Classics—their Value.—My first prejudice (for I do
not mention the prejudices of boys and women, such as hobgoblins,
ghosts, dreams, spilling salt, etc.) was my classical enthusiasm,
which I received from the books I read, and the masters who explained
them to me. I was convinced there had been no common sense nor common
honesty in the world for these last fifteen hundred years; but that
they were totally extinguished with the ancient Greek and Roman
governments. Homer and Virgil could have no faults, because they were
ancient; Milton and Tasso could have no merit, because they were
modern. And I could almost have said, with regard to the ancients,
what Cicero, very absurdly and unbecomingly for a philosopher, says
with regard to Plato, “Cum quo errare malim; quam cum aliis rectè
sentire.” Whereas now, without any extraordinary effort of genius,
I have discovered that nature was the same three thousand years ago
as it is at present; that men were but men then as well as now; that
modes and customs vary often, but that human nature is always the same.
And I can no more suppose, that men were better, braver, or wiser,
fifteen hundred or three thousand years ago, than I can suppose that
the animals or vegetables were better then than they are now. I dare
assert too, in defiance of the favorers of the ancients, that Homer’s
hero, Achilles, was both a brute and a scoundrel, and consequently
an improper character for the hero of an epic poem; he had so little
regard for his country, that he would not act in defence of it, because
he had quarrelled with Agamemnon about a w——e; and then afterward,
animated by private resentment only, he went about killing people
basely, I will call it, because he knew himself invulnerable; and yet,
invulnerable as he was, he wore the strongest armor in the world;
which I humbly apprehend to be a blunder; for a horseshoe clapped to
his vulnerable heel would have been sufficient. On the other hand,
with submission to the favorers of the moderns, I assert with Mr.
Dryden, that the Devil is in truth the hero of Milton’s poem: his plan,
which he lays, pursues, and at last executes, being the subject of
the poem. From all which considerations, I impartially conclude, that
the ancients had their excellencies and their defects, their virtues
and their vices, just like the moderns: pedantry and affectation of
learning decide clearly in favor of the former; vanity and ignorance,
as peremptorily, in favor of the latter. Religious prejudices kept
pace with my classical ones; and there was a time when I thought it
impossible for the honestest man in the world to be saved, out of
the pale of the Church of England: not considering that matters of
opinion do not depend upon the will; and that it is as natural, and
as allowable, that another man should differ in opinion from me, as
that I should differ from him; and that, if we are both sincere, we are
both blameless: and should consequently have mutual indulgence for each
other. [Feb. 7, 1749.]
Reflection—its Use.—Use and assert your own reason; reflect,
examine, and analyze everything, in order to form a sound and mature
judgment; let no ουτος ἔφα impose upon your understanding,
mislead your actions, or dictate your conversation. Be early, what, if
you are not, you will, when too late, wish you had been. Consult your
reason betimes: I do not say that it will always prove an unerring
guide; for human reason is not infallible: but it will prove the least
erring guide that you can follow. Books and conversation may assist it;
but adopt neither, blindly and implicitly; try both by that best rule
which God has given to direct us, Reason. Of all the troubles do not
decline, as many people do, that of thinking. The herd of mankind can
hardly be said to think; their notions are almost all adoptive; and, in
general, I believe it is better that it should be so; as such common
prejudices contribute more to order and quiet, than their own separate
reasonings would do, uncultivated and unimproved as they are. We have
many of those useful prejudices in this country, which I should be very
sorry to see removed. The good Protestant conviction, that the Pope
is both Antichrist, and the Whore of Babylon, is a more effectual
preservative, in this country, against popery, than all the solid and
unanswerable arguments of Chillingworth.
The idle story of the Pretender’s having been introduced in a
warming-pan, into the queen’s bed, though as destitute of all
probability as of all foundation, has been much more prejudicial to
the cause of Jacobitism, than all that Mr. Locke and others have
written, to show the unreasonableness and absurdity of the doctrines
of indefeasible hereditary right and unlimited passive obedience. And
that silly, sanguine notion, which is firmly entertained here, that
one Englishman can beat three Frenchmen, encourages, and has sometimes
enabled one Englishman, in reality, to beat two. [Same date.]
Liberty of the Press.—Can an author with reason complain
that he is cramped and shackled if he is not at liberty to publish
blasphemy, bawdry, or sedition? all which are equally prohibited in
the freest governments, if they are wise and well regulated ones. This
is the present general complaint of the French authors; but, indeed,
chiefly of the bad ones. No wonder, say they, that England produces so
many great geniuses; people there may think as they please, and publish
what they think. Very true, but who hinders them from thinking as they
please? If, indeed, they think in a manner destructive of all religion,
morality, or good manners, or to the disturbance of the state; an
absolute government will certainly more effectually prohibit them from,
or punish them for publishing such thoughts, than a free one could do.
But how does that cramp the genius of an epic, dramatic, or lyric poet?
Or how does it corrupt the eloquence of an orator, in the pulpit or at
the bar? [Same date.]
Graceful Behavior.—There is another object that must keep
pace with and accompany knowledge; I mean, manners, politeness, and the
graces; in which Sir Charles Williams, though very much your friend,
owns you are very deficient. The manners of Leipsic must be shook off;
and in that respect you must put on the new man. No scrambling at
your meals, as at a German ordinary; no awkward overturns of glasses,
plates, and salt-cellars; no horse-play. On the contrary, a gentleness
of manners, a graceful carriage, and an insinuating address, must take
their place. I repeat, and shall never cease repeating to you, the
Graces, the Graces. [April 12, 1749.]
A Gentleman’s Pleasures.—Dear Boy: This letter
will, I believe, still find you at Venice, in all the dissipation of
masquerades, ridottos, operas, etc.: with all my heart; they are decent
evening amusements, and very properly succeed that serious application
to which I am sure you devote your mornings. There are liberal and
illiberal pleasures, as well as liberal and illiberal arts. There are
some pleasures, that degrade a gentleman, as much as some trades could
do. Sottish drinking, indiscriminate gluttony, driving coaches, rustic
sports, such as fox-chases, horse-races, etc., are, in my opinion,
infinitely below the honest and industrious professions of a tailor,
and a shoemaker, which are said to déroger. [April 19,
1749.]
Music—Fiddling.—I cannot help cautioning you against giving
into those (I will call them illiberal) pleasures (though music is
commonly reckoned one of the liberal arts) to the degree that most
of your countrymen do when they travel in Italy. If you love music,
hear it; go to operas, concerts, and pay fiddlers to play to you; but
I insist upon your neither piping nor fiddling yourself. It puts a
gentleman in a very frivolous, contemptible light; brings him into a
great deal of bad company; and takes up a great deal of time, which
might be much better employed. Few things would mortify me more than to
see you bearing a part in a concert, with a fiddle under your chin, or
a pipe in your mouth. [Same date.]
Manières.—By manières, I do not mean bare common
civility; everybody must have that, who would not be kicked out
of company; but I mean engaging, insinuating, shining manners; a
distinguished politeness, an almost irresistible address; a superior
gracefulness in all you say and do. It is this alone that can give all
your other talents their full lustre and value; and consequently, it
is this which should now be the principal object of your attention.
Observe minutely, wherever you go, the allowed and established morals
of good breeding, and form yourself upon them. Whatever pleases you
most, in others, will infallibly please others, in you. I have often
repeated this to you; now is your time of putting it in practice.
[Same date.]
Little Princes.—In general, I believe that little princes
are more likely to be great men than those whose more extensive
dominions, and superior strength, flatter them with security; which
commonly produces negligence and indolence. A little prince, in the
neighborhood of great ones, must be alert, and look out sharp, if he
would secure his own dominions; much more still, if he would enlarge
them. He must watch for conjunctures, or endeavor to make them. No
princes have ever possessed this art better than those of the House of
Savoy, who have enlarged their dominions prodigiously within a century,
by profiting of conjunctures. [Same date.]
Attentions.—A young man should never be wanting in these
attentions; they cost little and bring in a great deal, by getting
you people’s good word and affection. They gain the heart, to which I
have always advised you to apply yourself particularly; it guides ten
thousand for one that reason influences.
I cannot end this letter, or (I believe) any other, without repeating
my recommendation of the Graces. They are to be met with at
Turin; for God’s sake, sacrifice to them, and they will be propitious.
People mistake grossly, to imagine that the least awkwardness, in
either matter or manner, mind or body, is an indifferent thing, and
not worthy of attention. It may possibly be a weakness in me (but in
short we are all so made). I confess to you fairly, that when you shall
come home, and that I first see you, if I find you ungraceful in your
address, and awkward in your person and dress, it will be impossible
for me to love you half so well as I should otherwise do, let your
intrinsic merit and knowledge be ever so great. [Same date.]
English Abroad.—I am informed there are now many English at
the Academy at Turin, and I fear those are just so many dangers for you
to encounter. Who they are, I do not know; but I well know the general
ill conduct, the indecent behavior, and the illiberal views of my young
countrymen abroad; especially wherever they are in numbers together.
Ill example is of itself dangerous enough; but those who give it seldom
stop there; they add their infamous exhortations and invitations; and,
if these fail, they have recourse to ridicule, which is harder for one
of your age and inexperience to withstand than either of the former.
Be upon your guard, therefore, against these batteries, which will all
be played upon you. You are not sent abroad to converse with your own
countrymen; among them, in general, you will get little knowledge, no
languages, and, I am sure, no manners. I desire that you will form no
connections, nor (what they impudently call) friendships, with these
people; which are, in truth, only combinations and conspiracies
against good morals and good manners. [May 15, 1749.]
Vices should be Original.—If people had no vices but their
own, few would have so many as they have. For my own part, I would
sooner wear other people’s clothes than their vices; and they would sit
upon me just as well. I hope you will have none; but, if ever you have,
I beg, at least, they may be all your own. Vices of adoption are, of
all others, the most disgraceful and unpardonable. There are degrees in
vices, as well as in virtues; and I must do my countrymen the justice
to say, they generally take their vices in the lowest degree. Their
gallantry is the infamous mean debauchery of stews, justly attended and
rewarded by the loss of their health as well as their character. Their
pleasures of the table end in beastly drunkenness, low riot, broken
windows, and very often (as they well deserve) broken bones. They game
for the sake of the vice, not of the amusement; and therefore carry it
to excess; undo, or are undone by, their companions. By such conduct,
and in such company abroad, they come home the unimproved, illiberal,
and ungentlemanlike creatures that one daily sees them; that is, in the
park, and in the streets, for one never meets them in good company;
where they have neither manners to present themselves, nor merit to
be received. But, with the manners of footmen and grooms, they assume
their dress too; for you must have observed them in the streets here,
in dirty blue frocks, with oaken sticks in their hands, and their hair
greasy and unpowdered, tucked up under their hats of an enormous size.
Thus finished and adorned by their travels, they become the disturbers
of playhouses; they break the windows, and commonly the landlords,
of the taverns where they drink; and are at once the support, the
terror, and the victims of the bawdy-houses they frequent. These poor
mistaken people think they shine, and so they do indeed; but it is as
putrefaction shines, in the dark.
I am not now preaching to you, like an old fellow, upon either
religious or moral texts; I am persuaded you do not want the best
instructions of that kind; but I am advising you as a man, as a friend
of the world, as one who would not have you old while you are young,
but would have you take all the pleasures that reason points out, and
that decency warrants. [Same date.]
Foolish Sayings.—There are some expressions, both in French
and English, and some characters, both in those two and in other
countries, which have, I dare say, misled many young men to their
ruin. Une honnête débauche, une jolie débauche: an agreeable rake,
a man of pleasure. Do not think that this means debauchery and
profligacy; nothing like it. It means, at most, the accidental and
unfrequent irregularities of youth and vivacity, in opposition to
dulness, formality, and want of spirit. [Same date.]
How to Please.—You must not neglect your dress neither, but
take care to be bien mis. Pray send for the best operator for
the teeth at Turin, where I suppose there is some famous one, and let
him put yours in perfect order; and then take care to keep them so
afterwards yourself. You had very good teeth, and I hope they are so
still; but even those who have bad ones should keep them clean; for
a dirty mouth is, to my mind, ill-manners. In short, neglect nothing
that can possibly please. A thousand nameless little things, which
nobody can describe but which everybody feels, conspire to form that
whole of pleasing; as the several pieces of a mosaic work,
though separately of little beauty or value, when properly joined form
those beautiful figures which please everybody. A look, a gesture, an
attitude, a tone of voice, all bear their parts in the great work of
pleasing. The art of pleasing is more particularly necessary in your
intended profession than perhaps in any other; it is, in truth, the
first half of your business; for if you do not please the court you are
sent to, you will be of very little use to the court you are sent from.
Please the eyes and the ears, they will introduce you to the heart;
and, nine times in ten, the heart governs the understanding.
Make your court particularly, and show distinguished attentions, to
such men and women as are best at court, highest in the fashion and
in the opinion of the public; speak advantageously of them behind
their backs, in companies who you have reason to believe will tell
them again. Express your admiration of the many great men that the
house of Savoy has produced; observe, that nature, instead of being
exhausted by those efforts, seems to have redoubled them in the persons
of the present king, and the Duke of Savoy; wonder at this rate where
it will end, and conclude that it will end in the government of all
Europe. Say this, likewise, where it will probably be repeated;
but say it unaffectedly, and the last, especially, with a kind of
enjouement. These little arts are very allowable, and must be
made use of in the course of the world; they are pleasing to one party,
useful to the other, and injurious to nobody. [Same date.]
Flattery.—I recommended to you, in my last, an innocent piece
of art; that of flattering people behind their backs, in presence of
those who, to make their own court, much more than for your sake, will
not fail to repeat, and even amplify the praise to the party concerned.
This is of all flattery the most pleasing, and consequently the most
effectual. There are other, and many other inoffensive arts of this
kind, which are necessary in the course of the world, and which he who
practises the earliest, will please the most, and rise the soonest.
[May 22, 1749.]
Temper.—The principal of these things, is the mastery of
one’s temper, and that coolness of mind, and serenity of countenance,
which hinders us from discovering, by words, actions, or even looks,
those passions or sentiments, by which we are inwardly moved or
agitated; and the discovery of which, gives cooler and abler people
such infinite advantages over us, not only in business, but in all the
most common occurrences of life. A man who does not possess himself
enough to hear disagreeable things, without visible marks of anger and
change of countenance, or agreeable ones without sudden bursts of joy
and expansion of countenance, is at the mercy of every artful knave,
or pert coxcomb; the former will provoke or please you by design, to
catch unguarded words or looks, by which he will easily decipher the
secrets of your heart, of which you should keep the key yourself, and
trust it with no man living. [Same date.]
Immobility.—Determine, too, to keep your countenance as
unmoved and unembarrassed as possible which steadiness you may get
a habit of, by constant attention. I should desire nothing better,
in any negotiation, than to have to do with one of these men of
warm, quick passions; which I would take care to set in motion. By
artful provocations, I would extort rash and unguarded expressions;
and, by hinting at all the several things that I could suspect,
infallibly discover the true one, by the alteration it occasioned
in the countenance of the person. Vólto sciolto con pensieri
stretti,40 is a most useful maxim in business. [Same date.]
Dissimulation.—It may be objected, that I am now recommending
dissimulation to you; I both own and justify it. It has been long said:
Qui nescit dissimulare nescit regnare: I go still farther,
and say, that without some dissimulation, no business can be carried
on at all. It is simulation that is false, mean and criminal;
that is the cunning which Lord Bacon calls crooked or left-handed
wisdom, and which is never made use of but by those who have not true
wisdom. And the same great man says, that dissimulation is only to
hide our own cards; whereas simulation is put on in order to look into
other people’s. Lord Bolingbroke in his “Idea of a Patriot King,”
which he has lately published, and which I will send you by the first
opportunity, says, very justly, that simulation is a stiletto;
not only an unjust but an unlawful weapon, and the use of it very
rarely to be excused, never justified. Whereas dissimulation is a
shield, as secrecy is armor; and it is no more possible to preserve
secrecy in business, without some degree of dissimulation, than it is
to succeed in business without secrecy. [Same date.]
The Face.—Make yourself absolute master, therefore, of your
temper, and your countenance, so far, at least, as that no visible
change do appear in either, whatever you may feel inwardly. This may
be difficult, but it is by no means impossible; and, as a man of sense
never attempts impossibilities on one hand, on the other he is never
discouraged by difficulties. [Same date.]
The Easy Moment.—Some people are to be reasoned, some
flattered, some intimidated, and some teased into a thing; but, in
general, all are to be brought into it at last, if skilfully applied
to, properly managed, and indefatigably attacked in their several weak
places. The time should likewise be judiciously chosen: every man has
his mollia tempora, but that is far from being all day long;
and you would choose your time very ill, if you applied to a man about
one business, when his head was full of another, or when his heart was
full of grief, anger, or any other disagreeable sentiments. [Same
date.]
Judge of Others by Yourself.—In order to judge of the inside
of others, study your own; for men in general are very much alike; and
though one has one prevailing passion, and another has another, yet
their operations are much the same; and whatever engages or disgusts,
pleases or offends you, in others, will, mutatis mutandis,
engage, disgust, please, or offend others, in you. [Same date.]
Smart Sayings.—The temptation of saying a smart and witty
thing, or bon mot, and the malicious applause with which it
is commonly received, have made people who can say them, and, still
oftener, people who think they can, but cannot and yet try, more
enemies, and implacable ones too, than any one other thing that I
know of. When such things, then, shall happen to be said at your
expense (as sometimes they certainly will) reflect seriously upon the
sentiments of uneasiness, anger, and resentment, which they excite in
you; and consider whether it can be prudent, by the same means, to
excite the same sentiments in others against you. It is a decided folly
to lose a friend for a jest; but, in my mind, it is not a much less
degree of folly, to make an enemy of an indifferent and neutral person
for the sake of a bon mot. When things of this kind happen to be
said of you the most prudent way is to seem not to suppose that they
are meant at you, but to dissemble and conceal whatever degree of anger
you may feel inwardly; and should they be so plain that you cannot be
supposed ignorant of their meaning, to join in the laugh of the company
against yourself; acknowledge the hit to be a fair one, and the jest a
good one, and play off the whole thing in seeming good humor; but by
no means reply in the same way; which only shows that you are hurt,
and publishes the victory which you might have concealed. Should the
thing said, indeed, injure your honor, or moral character, there is but
one proper reply; which I hope you will never have occasion to make.
[Same date.]
Women of Fashion.—They are a numerous and loquacious body;
their hatred would be more prejudicial than their friendship can be
advantageous to you. A general complaisance and attention to that
sex is, therefore, established by custom, and certainly necessary.
But where you would particularly please any one, whose situation,
interest, or connections can be of use to you, you must show particular
preference. The least attentions please, the greatest charm them.
The innocent but pleasing flattery of their persons, however gross,
is greedily swallowed, and kindly digested, but a seeming regard for
their understandings, a seeming desire of, and deference for, their
advice, together with a seeming confidence in their moral virtues,
turns their head entirely in your favor. Nothing shocks them so much as
the least appearance of that contempt, which they are apt to suspect
men of entertaining of their capacities; and you may be very sure of
gaining their friendship, if you seem to think it worth gaining. Here
dissimulation is very often necessary, and even simulation sometimes
allowable; which, as it pleases them, may be useful to you and is
injurious to nobody. [Same date.]
Venetian Art.—The time you will probably pass at Venice will
allow you to make yourself master of that intricate and singular form
of government, which few of our travellers know anything of. Read,
ask, and see everything that is relative to it. There are, likewise,
many valuable remains of the remotest antiquity, and many fine pieces
of the antico moderno, all which deserve a different sort of
attention from that which your countrymen commonly give them. They go
to see them as they go to see the lions, and kings on horseback, at the
Tower here, only to say that they have seen them. You will, I am sure,
view them in another light; you will consider them as you would a poem,
to which indeed they are akin. You will observe whether the sculptor
has animated his stone, or the painter his canvas, into the just
expression of those sentiments and passions which should characterize
and mark their several figures. [June 22, 1749.]
Sculpture and Painting.—You will examine, likewise, whether,
in their groups there be a unity of action or proper relation; a truth
of dress and manners. Sculpture and painting are very justly called
liberal arts; a lively and strong imagination, together with a just
observation being absolutely necessary to excel in either, which, in
my opinion, is by no means the case of music, though called a liberal
art, and now in Italy placed even above the other two—a proof of the
decline of that country. A taste of sculpture and painting is, in
my mind, as becoming as a taste of fiddling and piping is unbecoming
a man of fashion. The former is connected with history and poetry;
the latter, with nothing that I know of, but bad company. [Same
date.]
Amiability.—There is a certain concurrence of various little
circumstances, which compose what the French call l’amiable;
and which, now you are entering into the world, you ought to make it
your particular study to acquire. Without them, your learning will be
pedantry, your conversation often improper, always unpleasant, and
your figure, however good in itself, awkward and unengaging. A diamond
while rough has indeed its intrinsic value; but till polished is of
no use, and would neither be sought for nor worn. Its great lustre,
it is true, proceeds from its solidity and strong cohesion of parts;
but without the last polish, it would remain forever a dirty, rough
mineral in the cabinets of some few curious collectors. You have, I
hope, that solidity and cohesion of parts; take now as much pains to
get the lustre. Good company, if you make the right use of it, will cut
you into shape, and give you the true brilliant polish. Apropos
of diamonds, I have sent you, by Sir James Gray, the king’s minister,
who will be at Venice about the middle of September, my own diamond
buckles, which are fitter for your young feet than for my old ones;
they will properly adorn you; they would only expose me. [Same
date.]
Trifles.—Great merit or great failings will make you
respected or despised; but trifles, little attentions, mere nothings,
either done or neglected, will make you either liked or disliked, in
the general run of the world. Examine yourself, why you like such and
such people, and dislike such and such others; and you will find that
those different sentiments proceed from very slight causes. Moral
virtues are the foundation of society in general, and of friendship
in particular; but attentions, manners, and graces both adorn and
strengthen them. [July 20, 1749.]
Youth Armed by Experience.—Your youth and talents, armed
with my experience, may go a great way; and that armor is very much
at your service, if you please to wear it. I premise that it is not
my imagination, but my memory, that gives you these rules; I am not
writing pretty, useful reflections. A man of sense soon discovers,
because he carefully observes where and how long he is welcome; and
takes care to leave the company, at least, as soon as he is wished out
of it. Fools never perceive whether they are ill-timed or ill-placed.
[Same date.]
Idleness.—But indeed I do not suspect you of one single
moment’s idleness in the whole day. Idleness is only the refuge of weak
minds, and the holiday of fools. I do not call good company and liberal
pleasures idleness; far from it; I recommend to you a good share of
both. [Same date.]
Bathing.—I am very glad that my letter, with Dr. Shaw’s
opinion, has lessened your bathing; for, since I was born, I never
heard of bathing four hours a day, which would surely be too much,
even in Medea’s kettle, if you wanted (as you do not yet) new boiling.
[July 30, 1749.]
Architecture—A Simile.—To carry on the metaphor of building,
I would wish you to be a Corinthian edifice, upon a Tuscan foundation;
the latter having the utmost strength and solidity to support, and the
former all possible ornaments to decorate. The Tuscan column is coarse,
clumsy, and unpleasant; nobody looks at it twice: the Corinthian fluted
column is beautiful and attractive; but without a solid foundation,
can hardly be seen twice, because it must soon tumble down. Yours
affectionately. [Same date.]
Earn your Pleasures.—No man tastes pleasures truly who does
not earn them by previous business; and few people do business well
who do nothing else. Remember, that when I speak of pleasures I always
mean the elegant pleasures of a rational being, and not the brutal ones
of a swine. I mean la bonne chere, short of gluttony; wine,
infinitely short of drunkenness; play, without the least gaming; and
gallantry, without debauchery. There is a line in all these things
which men of sense, for greater security, take care to keep a good
deal on the right side of; for sickness, pain, contempt, and infamy
lie immediately on the other side of it. Men of sense and merit in all
other respects may have had some of these failings; but then those
few examples, instead of inviting us to imitation, should only put us
the more upon our guard against such weaknesses. Whoever thinks them
fashionable will not be so himself. I have often known a fashionable
man to have some one vice, but I never, in my life, knew a vicious man
a fashionable man. Vice is as degrading as it is criminal. God bless
you, my dear child! [Aug. 7, 1749.]
Dignity of Manners.—There is a certain dignity of manners
absolutely necessary, to make even the most valuable character either
respected or respectable. Horse-play, romping, frequent and loud fits
of laughter, jokes, waggery, and indiscriminate familiarity, will sink
both merit and knowledge into a degree of contempt. They compose at
most a merry fellow; and a merry fellow was never yet a respectable
man. Indiscriminate familiarity either offends your superiors, or else
dubs you their dependent, and led captain. It gives your inferiors just
but troublesome and improper claims of equality. A joker is near akin
to a buffoon; and neither of them is the least related to wit. Whoever
is admitted or sought for in company upon any account than that of his
merit and manners, is never respected there, but only made use of. We
will have such-a-one, for he sings prettily; we will invite such-a-one
to a ball, for he dances well; we will have such-a-one at supper, for
he is always joking and laughing; we will ask another, because he
plays deep at all games, or because he can drink a great deal. These
are vilifying distinctions, mortifying preferences, and exclude all
ideas of esteem and regard. Whoever is had (as it is called) in
company, for the sake of any one thing singly, is singly that thing,
and will never be considered in any other light, consequently never
respected, let his merits be what they will. [Aug. 10, 1749.]
Fools and their Flattery.—Abject flattery and indiscriminate
assentation degrade, as much as indiscriminate contradiction and noisy
debate disgust. But a modest assertion of one’s own opinion, and a
complaisant acquiescence in other people’s, preserve dignity.
Vulgar, low expressions, awkward motions and address, vilify, as
they imply either a very low turn of mind, or low education, and low
company. [Same date.]
A Trifler.—Cardinal de Retz, very sagaciously marked out
Cardinal Chigi for a little mind, from the moment that he told him he
had wrote (sic) three years with the same pen, and that it was
an excellent good one still.
A certain degree of exterior seriousness, in looks and motions, gives
dignity, without excluding wit and decent cheerfulness, which are
always serious themselves. A constant smirk upon the face, and a
whiffling activity of the body, are strong indications of futility.
Whoever is in a hurry shows that the thing he is about is too big for
him. Haste and hurry are very different things. [Same date.]
The Pretender—Political Caution.—You will, in many parts
of Italy, meet with numbers of the Pretender’s people (English,
Scotch, and Irish fugitives) especially at Rome; and probably the
Pretender himself. It is none of your business to declare war on these
people; as little as it is your interest, or, I hope, your inclination
to connect yourself with them: and therefore I recommend to you a
perfect neutrality. Avoid them as much as you can with decency and
good manners; but, when you cannot avoid any political conversation
or debates with them, tell them that you do not concern yourself with
political matters; that you are neither a maker nor a deposer of kings;
that, when you left England, you left a king in it, and have not since
heard either of his death, or of any revolution that has happened,
and that you take kings and kingdoms as you find them; but enter no
farther into matters with them, which can be of no use, and might
bring on heat and quarrels. When you speak of the old Pretender you
will call him only, the Chevalier de St. George; but mention him as
seldom as possible. Should he chance to speak to you at any assembly
(as, I am told, he sometimes does to the English) be sure that you
seem not to know him; and answer him civilly, but always either in
French or in Italian; and give him, in the former, the appellation of
Monsieur, and in the latter of Signore. Should you meet
with the Cardinal of York, you will be under no difficulty, for he has,
as Cardinal, an undoubted right to Eminenza. Upon the whole, see
any of those people as little as possible; when you do see them be
civil to them, upon the footing of strangers; but never be drawn into
any altercations with them about the imaginary right of their king, as
they call him.
It is to no sort of purpose to talk to those people of the natural
rights of mankind and particular constitution of this country. Blinded
by prejudices, soured by misfortunes, and tempted by their necessities,
they are as incapable of reasoning rightly, as they have hitherto been
of acting wisely. The late Lord Pembroke never would know anything
that he had not a mind to know; and, in this case, I advise you to
follow his example. Never know either the father or the two sons, any
otherwise than as foreigners; and so not knowing their pretensions you
have no occasion to dispute them. [Sept. 5, 1749.]
A Father’s Anxiety.—It seems extraordinary, but it is very
true, that my anxiety for you increases in proportion to the good
accounts which I receive of you from all hands. I promise myself so
much from you, that I dread the least disappointment. You are now so
near the port, which I have so long wished and labored to bring you
safe into, that my concern would be doubled, should you be shipwrecked
within sight of it. The object, therefore, of this letter is (laying
aside all the authority of the parent), to conjure you as a friend,
by the affection you have for me (and surely you have reason to have
some), and by the regard you have for yourself, to go on with assiduity
and attention, to complete that work, which, of late, you have carried
on so well, and which is now so near being finished. My wishes, and my
plan, were to make you shine, and distinguish yourself equally in the
learned and the polite world. Few have been able to do it. [Sept.
12, 1749.]
The Student of Life and the Trifler: A Dialogue.—I will
suppose you at Rome, studying six hours uninterruptedly with Mr. Harte,
every morning, and passing your evenings with the best company of Rome,
observing their manners and forming your own; and I will suppose a
number of idle, sauntering, illiterate English, as there commonly is
there, living entirely with one another, supping, drinking, and sitting
up late at each other’s lodgings; commonly in riots and scrapes when
drunk, and never in good company when sober. I will take one of these
pretty fellows, and give you the dialogue between him and yourself;
such as I dare say it will be on his side, and such as I hope it will
be on yours.
Englishman. Will you come and breakfast with me to-morrow; there
will be four or five of our countrymen; we have provided chaises, and
we will drive somewhere out of town after breakfast?
Stanhope. I am very sorry I cannot; but I am obliged to be at
home all the morning.
Englishman. Why then we will come and breakfast with you.
Stanhope. I can’t do that neither, I am engaged.
Englishman. Well, then, let it be the next day.
Stanhope. To tell you the truth, it can be no day in the
morning; for I neither go out, nor see anybody at home before twelve.
Englishman. And what the devil do you do with yourself till
twelve o’clock?
Stanhope. I am not by myself, I am with Mr. Harte.
Englishman. Then what the devil do you do with him?
Stanhope. We study different things; we read, we converse.
Englishman. Very pretty amusement indeed! Are you to take orders
then?
Stanhope. Yes, my father’s orders, I believe, I must take.
Englishman. Why, hast thou no more spirit than to mind an old
fellow a thousand miles off?
Stanhope. If I don’t mind his orders he won’t mind my draughts.
Englishman. What, does the old prig threaten, then? Threatened
folks live long; never mind threats.
Stanhope. No, I can’t say that he has ever threatened me in his
life; but I believe I had best not provoke him.
Englishman. Pooh! you would have one angry letter from the old
fellow, and there would be an end of it.
Stanhope. You mistake him mightily; he always does more than
he says. He has never been angry with me yet, that I remember, in his
life; but if I were to provoke him, I am sure he would never forgive
me; he would be coolly immovable, and I might beg and pray, and write
my heart out to no purpose.
Englishman. Why then, he is an old dog, that’s all I can say:
and pray, are you to obey your dry-nurse too, this same what’s his
name—Mr. Harte?
Stanhope. Yes.
Englishman. So he stuffs you all morning with Greek, and Latin,
and logic, and all that. Egad, I have a dry-nurse too, but I never
looked into a book with him in my life; I have not so much as seen the
face of him this week, and don’t care a louse if I never see it again.
Stanhope. My dry-nurse never desires anything of me that is not
reasonable, and for my own good; and therefore I like to be with him.
Englishman. Very sententious and edifying, upon my word! at this
rate you will be reckoned a very good young man.
Stanhope. Why, that will do me no harm.
Englishman. Will you be with us to-morrow in the evening, then?
We shall be ten with you; and I have got some excellent good wine; and
we’ll be very merry.
Stanhope. I am very much obliged to you but I am engaged for all
the evening, to-morrow; first at Cardinal Albani’s; and then to sup at
the Venetian Embassadress’s.
Englishman. How the devil can you like being always with these
foreigners? I never go amongst them, with all their formalities and
ceremonies. I am never easy in company with them, and I don’t know why,
but I am ashamed.
Stanhope. I am neither ashamed nor afraid; I am very easy with
them; they are very easy with me; I get the language, and I see their
characters, by conversing with them; and that is what we are sent
abroad for. Is it not?
Englishman. I hate your modest women’s company; your women of
fashion, as they call ’em. I don’t know what to say to them, for my
part.
Stanhope. Have you ever conversed with them?
Englishman. No, I never conversed with them; but I have been
sometimes in their company, though much against my will.
Stanhope. But at least they have done you no hurt; which is,
probably, more than you can say of the women you do converse with.
Englishman. That’s true, I own; but for all that, I would rather
keep company with my surgeon half the year, than with your women of
fashion the year round.
Stanhope. Tastes are different, you know, and every man follows
his own.
Englishman. That’s true; but thine’s a devilish odd one,
Stanhope. All morning with thy dry-nurse; all the evening in formal
fine company; and all day long afraid of old Daddy in England. Thou art
a queer fellow, and I am afraid there’s nothing to be made of thee.
Stanhope. I am afraid so, too.
Englishman. Well, then, good-night to you; you have no
objection, I hope, to my being drunk to-night, which I certainly will
be?
Stanhope. Not in the least; nor to your being sick to-morrow,
which you as certainly will be; and so good-night too.
You will observe, that I have not put into your mouth those good
arguments, which upon such an occasion would, I am sure, occur to you;
as piety and affection towards me; regard and friendship for Mr. Harte;
respect for your own moral character, and for all the relative duties
of man, son, pupil and citizen. Such solid arguments would be thrown
away upon such shallow puppies. Leave them to their ignorance, and to
their dirty, disgraceful vices. They will severely feel the effects
of them, when it will be too late. Without the comfortable refuge of
learning, and with all the sickness and pains of a ruined stomach,
and a rotten carcass, if they happen to arrive at old age, it is an
uneasy and ignominious one. The ridicule which such fellows endeavor to
throw upon those who are not like them is, in the opinion of all men
of sense, the most authentic panegyric. Go on, then, my dear child,
in the way you are in, only for a year and a half more; that is all I
ask of you. After that, I promise that you shall be your own master,
and that I will pretend to no other title than that of your best and
truest friend. You shall receive advice, but no orders, from me; and in
truth you will want no other advice, but such as youth and inexperience
must necessarily require. You shall certainly want nothing that is
requisite, not only for your conveniency, but also for your pleasures,
which I always desire should be gratified. You will suppose that I mean
the pleasures d’un honnête homme. [Same date.]
A Panegyrist.—If I had faith in philters and love potions,
I should suspect that you had given Sir Charles Williams some, by the
manner in which he speaks of you, not only to me, but to everybody
else. I will not repeat to you what he says of the extent and
correctness of your knowledge, as it might either make you vain, or
persuade you that you had already enough of what nobody can have too
much. You will easily imagine how many questions I asked, and how
narrowly I sifted him upon your subject; he answered me, and I dare say
with truth, just as I could have wished. [Sept. 22, 1749.]
Necessity of Attention.—Sir Charles Williams told me
then, that in company you were frequently most provokingly
inattentive, absent, and distrait. That you came into a room and
presented yourself very awkwardly; that at table you constantly threw
down knives, forks, napkins, bread, etc., and that you neglected your
person and dress to a degree unpardonable at any age, and much more so
at yours.
Distraction and Inattention.—I know no one thing more
offensive to a company than that inattention and distraction.
It is showing them the utmost contempt; and people never forgive
contempt. No man is distrait with the man he fears or the woman
he loves; which is a proof that every man can get the better of that
distraction, when he thinks it worth his while to do so; and,
take my word for it, it is always worth his while. For my own part, I
would rather be in company with a dead man than with an absent one; for
if the dead man gives me no pleasure, at least he shows me no contempt;
whereas the absent man, silently indeed, but very plainly, tells me
that he does not think me worth his attention. Besides, can an absent
man make any observations upon the characters, customs, and manners of
the company? No. He may be in the best companies all his lifetime (if
they will admit him, which, if I were they, I would not), and never be
one jot the wiser. I never will converse with an absent man; one may
as well talk to a deaf one. It is, in truth, a practical blunder to
address ourselves to a man who, we see plainly, neither hears, minds,
nor understands us. Moreover, I aver that no man is, in any degree, fit
for either business or conversation who cannot and does not direct and
command his attention to the present object, be that what it will. You
know, by experience, that I grudge no expense in your education, but
I will positively not keep you a flapper. You may read, in Dr. Swift,
the description of these flappers, and the use they were of to their
friends.
Dancing.—Learn to dance, not so much for the sake of dancing,
as for coming into a room, and presenting yourself genteelly and
gracefully. Women, whom you ought to endeavor to please, cannot forgive
a vulgar and awkward air and gesture; il leur faut du brillant.
The generality of men are pretty like them, and are equally taken by
the same exterior graces. [Same date.]
Finery Unfit for the Old.—I am very glad that you have
received the diamond buckles safe: all I desire in return for them
is, that they may be buckled upon your feet, and that your stockings
may not hide them. I should be sorry you were an egregious fop; but I
protest that, of the two, I would rather have you a fop than a sloven.
I think negligence in my own dress, even at my age, when certainly I
expect no advantages from my dress, would be indecent with regard to
others. I have done with fine clothes; but I will have my plain clothes
fit me, and made like other people’s. In the evenings I recommend to
you the company of women of fashion, who have a right to attention, and
will be paid it. Their company will smooth your manners, and give you
a habit of attention and respect; of which you will find the advantage
among men.
My plan for you, from the beginning, has been to make you shine equally
in the learned and in the polite world; the former part is almost
completed to my wishes, and will, I am persuaded, in a little time more
be quite so. The latter part is still in your power to complete; and I
flatter myself that you will do it, or else the former part will avail
you very little; especially in your department, where the exterior
address and graces do half the business; they must be the harbingers of
your merit, or your merit will be very coldly received: all can and do
judge of the former, few of the latter.
Mr. Harte tells me that you have grown very much since your illness;
if you get up to five feet ten, or even nine inches, your figure will,
probably, be a good one. [Same date.]
Mis-sent Letters.—Our letters go, at best, so irregularly,
and so often miscarry totally, that, for greater security, I repeat the
same things. So, though I acknowledge by last post Mr. Harte’s letter
of the 8th September, N. S., I acknowledge it again by this to you.41
[Same date.]
Bend to Ceremony.—Apropos of the Pope, remember to be
presented to him before you leave Rome, and go through the necessary
ceremonies for it, whether of kissing his slipper or his breech;
for I would never deprive myself of anything that I wanted to do or
see by refusing to comply with an established custom. When I was in
Catholic countries, I never declined kneeling in their churches at the
elevation, nor elsewhere, when the host went by. It is a complaisance
due to the custom of the place, and by no means, as some silly people
have imagined, an implied approbation of their doctrine. Bodily
attitudes and situations are things so very indifferent in themselves,
that I would quarrel with nobody about them. It may, indeed, be
improper for Mr. Harte to pay that tribute of complaisance, upon
account of his character. [Same date.]
The Vulgar Man—Trifles—Vulgarism.—A vulgar man is captious
and jealous; eager and impetuous about trifles. He suspects himself
to be slighted, thinks everything that is said meant at him; if the
company happens to laugh, he is persuaded they laugh at him; he grows
angry and testy, says something very impertinent, and draws himself
into a scrape, by showing what he calls a proper spirit, and asserting
himself. A man of fashion does not suppose himself to be either the
sole or principal object of the thoughts, looks, or words of the
company; and never suspects that he is either slighted or laughed at,
unless he is conscious that he deserves it. And if (which very seldom
happens) the company is absurd or ill-bred enough to do either, he
does not care twopence, unless the insult be so gross and plain as to
require satisfaction of another kind. As he is above trifles, he is
never vehement and eager about them; and, wherever they are concerned,
rather acquiesces than wrangles. A vulgar man’s conversation always
savors strongly of the lowness of his education and company. It turns
chiefly upon his domestic affairs, his servants, the excellent order he
keeps in his own family, and the little anecdotes of the neighborhood;
all which he relates with emphasis, as interesting matters. He is a man
gossip.
Vulgarism in language is the next and distinguishing characteristic of
bad company and a bad education. A man of fashion avoids nothing with
more care than that. Proverbial expressions, and trite sayings, are the
flowers of the rhetoric of a vulgar man. Would he say, that men differ
in their tastes, he both supports and adorns that opinion, by the good
old saying, as he respectfully calls it, that what is one man’s meat
is another man’s poison. If anybody attempts being smart,
as he calls it, upon him, he gives them tit for tat, ay, that
he does. He has always some favorite word for the time being, which,
for the sake of using often, he commonly abuses. Such as vastly
angry, vastly kind, vastly handsome, and vastly
ugly. Even his pronunciation of proper words carries the mark of
the beast along with it. He calls the earth yearth; he is
obleiged42 not obliged to you. He goes to wards,
and not towards such a place. He sometimes affects hard words, by
way of ornament, which he always mangles like a learned woman. A man
of fashion never has recourse to proverbs and vulgar aphorisms: uses
neither favorite words nor hard words, but takes great care to speak
very correctly and grammatically, and to pronounce properly; that is,
according to the usage of the best companies. [Sept. 27, 1749.]
Left-handedness.—An awkward address, ungraceful attitudes
and actions, and a certain left-handedness (if I may use that word)
loudly proclaim low education and low company; for it is impossible
to suppose that a man can have frequented good company without having
catched something, at least, of their air and motions. A new-raised
man is distinguished in a regiment by his awkwardness; but he must be
impenetrably dull if, in a month or two’s time, he cannot perform at
least the common manual exercise, and look like a soldier. The very
accoutrements of a man of fashion are grievous incumbrances to a vulgar
man. He is at a loss what to do with his hat, when it is not upon his
head; his cane (if unfortunately he wears one) is at perpetual war with
every cup of tea or coffee he drinks; destroys them first, and then
accompanies them in their fall.
A Noble Ease and Grace.—Do not imagine that these
accomplishments are only useful with women; they are much more so with
men. In a public assembly, what an advantage has a graceful speaker,
with genteel motions, a handsome figure, and a liberal air, over one,
who shall speak full as much sense, but destitute of these ornaments!
In business, how prevalent are the graces, how detrimental is the want
of them! By the help of these I have known some men refuse favors
less offensively than others granted them. The utility of them in
courts and negotiations is inconceivable. You gain the hearts, and
consequently the secrets, of nine in ten that you have to do with, in
spite even of their prudence; which will, nine times in ten, be the
dupe of their hearts and of their senses. Consider the importance of
these things as they deserve, and you will not lose one moment in the
pursuit of them. [Same date.]
The Fribble and the Virtuoso.—No piping nor fiddling,
I beseech you; no days lost in poring upon almost imperceptible
intaglios and cameos: and do not become a virtuoso of
small wares. Form a taste of painting, sculpture, and architecture,
if you please, by a careful examination of the works of the best
ancient and modern artists; those are liberal arts, and a real taste
and knowledge of them become a man of fashion very well. But, beyond
certain bounds, the man of taste ends, and the frivolous virtuoso
begins.
Your friend Mendes, the good Samaritan, dined with me yesterday. He
has more good nature and generosity, than parts. However, I will show
him all the civilities that his kindness to you so justly deserves;
he tells me that you are taller than I am, which I am very glad of.
I desire you may excel me in everything else too; and, far from
repining, I shall rejoice at your superiority. [Same date.]
Frequent Letters.—Indeed the irregularity and negligence of
the post provoke me, as they break the thread of the accounts I want to
receive from you, and of the instructions and orders which I send you
almost every post. Of these last twenty posts, I am sure that I have
wrote eighteen, either to you or to Mr. Harte, and it does not appear,
by your letter, that all, or even any of my letters have been received.
I desire, for the future, that both you and Mr. Harte will constantly,
in your letters, mention the dates of mine. [Oct. 2, 1749.]
Proper Expenses to be Paid.—As to the expense which you
mention, I do not regard it in the least; from your infancy to this
day, I never grudged any expense in your education, and still less do
it now, that it is become more important and decisive. I attend to the
objects of your expenses, but not to the sums. I will certainly not pay
one shilling for your losing your nose, your money, or your reason;
that is, I will not contribute to women, gaming, and drinking. But I
will most cheerfully supply, not only every necessary, but every decent
expense you can make. I do not care what the best masters cost. I would
have you as well dressed, lodged, and attended, as any reasonable man
of fashion in his travels. I would have you have that pocket-money
that should enable you to make the proper expense, d’un honnête
homme. In short, I bar no expense, that has neither vice nor folly
for its object; and under those two reasonable restrictions, draw and
welcome. [Same date.]
A Portrait.—So many of my letters have miscarried, and I know
so little which, that I am forced to repeat the same thing over and
over again eventually. This is one. I have wrote twice to Mr. Harte,
to have your picture drawn in miniature, while you were at Venice, and
to send it me in a letter: it is all one to me, whether in enamel or
in water-colors, provided it is but very like you. I would have you
drawn exactly as you are, and in no whimsical dress. I lay more stress
upon the likeness of the picture, than upon the taste and skill of the
painter. If this be not already done, I desire that you will have it
done forthwith, before you leave Venice; and enclose it in a letter
to me; which letter, for greater security, I would have you desire
Sir James Gray to enclose in his packet to the office; as I, for the
same reason, send this under his cover. If the picture be done upon
vellum, it will be the most portable. Send me, at the same time, a
thread or silk of your own length, exactly. I am solicitous about your
figure; convinced, by a thousand instances, that a good one is a real
advantage. Mens sana in corpore sano, is the first and greatest
blessing. I would add, et pulchro, to complete it. May you have
that, and every other! Adieu. [Same date.]
A Century Ago.—The papal power, founded originally upon
the ignorance and superstition of mankind, extended by the weakness
of some princes, and the ambition of others; is declining of late,
in proportion as knowledge has increased; and owing its present
precarious security not to the religion, the affection, or the fear,
of the temporal powers, but to their jealousy of each other. The
Pope’s excommunications are no longer dreaded; his indulgences little
solicited, and sell very cheap; and his territories, formidable to
no power, are coveted by many, and will, most undoubtedly, within a
century, be scantled out among the great powers, who have now a footing
in Italy; whenever they can agree upon the division of the bear’s skin.
[Oct. 9, 1749.]
The Jesuits.—They have, by turns, been banished, and with
infamy, almost every country in Europe; and have always found means to
be restored, even with triumph. In short, I know no government in the
world that is carried on upon such deep principles of policy, I will
not add morality. Converse with them, frequent them, court them; but
know them.
Inform yourself too of that infernal court, the inquisition; which,
though not so considerable at Rome as in Spain and Portugal, will,
however, be a good sample to you of what the villainy of some men can
contrive, the folly of others receive, and both together establish; in
spite of the first natural principles of reason, justice, and equity.
[Same date.]
Military Study.—Go with some engineer or old officer, and
view, with care, the real fortifications of some strong place; and you
will get a clearer idea of bastions, half-moons, horn-works, ravelins,
glacis, etc., than all the masters in the world could give you upon
paper. And thus much I would, by all means, have you know of both civil
and military architecture. [Oct. 17, 1749.]
A Father’s Object.—Dear Boy: From the time that you
have had life, it has been the principal and favorite object of mine,
to make you as perfect as the imperfections of human nature will allow;
in this view I have grudged no pains nor expense in your education;
convinced that education, more than nature, is the cause of that great
difference which we see in the characters of men. While you, were a
child, I endeavored to form your heart habitually to virtue and honor,
before your understanding was capable of showing you their beauty and
utility. Those principles, which you then got like your grammar rules,
only by rote, are now, I am persuaded, fixed and confirmed by reason.
And indeed they are so plain and clear, that they require but a very
moderate degree of understanding, either to comprehend or practice
them. Lord Shaftesbury says, very prettily, that he would be virtuous
for his own sake, though nobody were to know it; as he would be clean
for his own sake, though nobody were to see him. I have therefore,
since you have had the use of your reason, never written to you upon
those subjects; they speak best for themselves; and I should, now, just
as soon think of warning you gravely not to fall into the dirt or the
fire, as into dishonor or vice. [Nov. 5, 1749.]
Good Breeding.—A friend of yours and mine has very justly
defined good breeding to be the result of much good sense, some
good nature, and a little self-denial for the sake of others, and with
a view to obtain the same indulgence from them. Taking this for
granted (as I think it cannot be disputed), it is astonishing to me,
that anybody, who has good sense and good nature (and I believe you
have both), can essentially fail in good breeding. As to the modes of
it, indeed, they vary according to persons, places, and circumstances;
and are only to be acquired by observation and experience; but the
substance of it is everywhere and eternally the same. Good-manners
are, to particular societies, what good morals are to society in
general—their cement and their security. And as laws are enacted to
enforce good morals, or at least to prevent the ill-effects of bad
ones, so there are certain rules of civility, universally implied
and received, to enforce good manners, and punish bad ones. And
indeed there seems to be less difference, both between the crimes
and punishments, than at first one would imagine. The immoral man,
who invades another’s property, is justly hanged for it; and the
ill-bred man, who, by his ill-manners, invades and disturbs the quiet
comforts of private life, is by common consent as justly banished from
society. Mutual complaisances, attentions, and sacrifices of little
conveniences, are as natural an implied compact between civilized
people, as protection and obedience are between kings and subjects;
whoever, in either case, violates that compact, justly forfeits all
advantages arising from it. For my own part, I really think that, next
to the consciousness of doing a good action, that of doing a civil
one is the most pleasing; and the epithet which I should covet the
most, next to that of Aristides, would be that of well-bred. [Same
date.]
Mixed Company—Learning—Pedants.—In mixed companies, whoever
is admitted to make part of them is, for the time at least, supposed
to be upon a footing of equality with the rest; and, consequently, as
there is no one principal object of awe and respect, people are apt to
take a greater latitude in their behavior, and to be less upon their
guard; and so they may, provided it be within certain bounds, which
are upon no occasion to be transgressed. But, upon these occasions,
though no one is entitled to distinguished marks of respect, every one
claims, and very justly, every mark of civility and good breeding. Ease
is allowed, but carelessness and negligence are strictly forbidden. If
a man accosts you, and talks to you ever so dully or frivolously, it
is worse than rudeness, it is brutality, to show him, by a manifest
inattention to what he says, that you think him a fool or a blockhead,
and not worth hearing. It is much more so with regard to women; who, of
whatever rank they are, are entitled, in consideration of their sex,
not only to an attentive, but an officious good breeding from men.
Not too much Familiarity.—The most familiar and intimate
habitudes, connections, and friendships require a degree of
good breeding both to preserve and cement them. If ever a man and
his wife, or a man and his mistress, who pass nights as well as days
together, absolutely lay aside all good breeding, their intimacy will
soon degenerate into a coarse familiarity, infallibly productive of
contempt or disgust. The best of us have our bad sides; and it is as
imprudent, as it is ill-bred, to exhibit them. I shall certainly not
use ceremony with you; it would be misplaced between us: but I shall
certainly observe that degree of good breeding with you, which is, in
the first place, decent, and which, I am sure, is absolutely necessary
to make us like one another’s company long.
The deepest learning, without good breeding, is unwelcome and
tiresome pedantry, and of use nowhere but in a man’s own closet; and
consequently of little or no use at all.
A man, who is not perfectly well-bred, is unfit for good company, and
unwelcome in it; will consequently dislike it soon, afterward renounce
it; and be reduced to solitude, or, what is worse, low and bad company.
A man, who is not well-bred, is full as unfit for business as for
company.
Make then, my dear child, I conjure you, good breeding the great object
of your thoughts and actions at least half the day. Observe carefully
the behavior and manners of those who are distinguished by their
good breeding; imitate, nay, endeavor to excel, that you may at least
reach them; and be convinced that good breeding is, to all worldly
qualifications, what charity is to all Christian virtues. Observe how
it adorns merit, and how often it covers the want of it. May you wear
it to adorn, and not to cover you! Adieu. [Same date.]
Personal Graces.—These personal graces are of very great
consequence. They anticipate the sentiments, before merit can engage
the understanding; they captivate the heart, and gave rise, I believe,
to the extravagant notions of charms and philters. Their efforts were
so surprising, that they were reckoned supernatural. The most graceful
and best-bred men, and the handsomest and genteelest women, give the
most philters; and, as I verily believe, without the least assistance
of the Devil. Pray be not only well dressed, but shining in your
dress; let it have du brillant: I do not mean by a clumsy load
of gold and silver, but by the taste and fashion of it. Women like
and require it; they think it an attention due to them. [Nov. 14,
1749.]
Dancing Youth.—You danced pretty well here, and ought to
dance very well before you come home; for what one is obliged to do
sometimes, one ought to be able to do well. Besides, la belle
danse donne du brillant à un jeune homme. And you should endeavor
to shine. A calm serenity, negative merit and graces, do not become
your age. You should be alerte, adroit, vif; be
wanted, talked of, impatiently expected, and unwillingly parted with in
company. I should be glad to hear half a dozen women of fashion say:
“Où est donc le petit Stanhope? Que ne vient-il? Il faut avouer
qu’il est aimable.” All this I do not mean singly with regard to
women as the principal object; but with regard to men, and with a view
of your making yourself considerable. For, with very small variations,
the same things that please women please men. [Same date.]
Ill Breeding.—My last was upon the subject of good breeding;
but, I think, it rather set before you the unfitness and disadvantages
of ill breeding, than the utility and necessity of good; it was rather
negative than positive. This, therefore, shall go further, and explain
to you the necessity, which you, of all people living, lie under,
not only of being positively and actively well-bred, but of shining
and distinguishing yourself by your good breeding. Consider your own
situation in every particular, and judge whether it is not essentially
your interest, by your own good breeding to others, to secure theirs
to you; and that, let me assure you, is the only way of doing it; for
people will repay, and with interest too, inattention with inattention,
neglect with neglect, and ill-manners with worse; which may engage
you in very disagreeable affairs. In the next place your profession
requires, more than any other, the nicest and most distinguished
good breeding. You will negotiate with very little success, if you do
not, previously, by your manners, conciliate and engage the affections
of those with whom you are to negotiate. Can you ever get into the
confidence and the secrets of the courts where you may happen to
reside, if you have not those pleasing, insinuating manners, which
alone can procure them? Upon my word, I do not say too much, when I
say that superior good breeding, insinuating manners, and genteel
address are half your business. Your knowledge will have but very
little influence upon the mind, if your manners prejudice the heart
against you; but, on the other hand, how easily will you dupe
the understanding, where you have first engaged the heart? and hearts
are, by no means, to be gained by that mere common civility which
everybody practises. Bowing again to those who bow to you, answering
dryly those who speak to you, and saying nothing offensive to anybody,
is such negative good breeding that it is only not being a brute; as it
would be but a very poor commendation of any man’s cleanliness to say
that he did not stink. It is an active, cheerful, officious, seducing
good breeding that must gain you the good-will and first sentiments
of the men, and the affections of the women. You must carefully watch
and attend to their passions, their tastes, their little humors
and weaknesses, and aller au devant. You must do it, at the
same time, with alacrity and empressement, and not as if you
graciously condescended to humor their weaknesses.
For instance; suppose you invited anybody to dine or sup with you,
you ought to recollect if you had observed that they had any favorite
dish, and take care to provide it for them: and, when it came, you
should say: “You seemed to me, at such and such a place, to give
this dish a preference, and therefore I ordered it. This is the wine
that I observed you liked, and therefore I procured some.” The
more trifling these things are, the more they prove your attention
for the person, and are consequently the more engaging. Consult your
own breast, and recollect how these little attentions, when shown you
by others, flatter that degree of self-love and vanity, from which no
man living, is free. Reflect how they incline and attract you to that
person, and how you are propitiated afterward to all which that person
says or does. The same causes will have the same effects in your favor.
Attentions to Ladies.—Women, in a great degree, establish or
destroy every man’s reputation of good breeding; you must, therefore,
in a manner, overwhelm them with the attentions of which I have spoken;
they are used to them, they expect them; and, to do them justice,
they commonly requite them. You must be sedulous, and rather over
officious than under, in procuring them their coaches, their chairs,
their conveniences in public places; not see what you should not
see; and rather assist, where you cannot help seeing. Opportunities
of showing these attentions present themselves perpetually; but if
they do not, make them. As Ovid advises his lover, when he sits in
the circus near his mistress, to wipe the dust off her neck,
even if there be none. Si nullus, tamen excute nullum. Your
conversation with women should always be respectful; but, at the same
time, enjoué, and always addressed to their vanity. Everything
you say or do should convince them of the regard you have (whether you
have it or not) for their beauty, their wit, or their merit. Men have
possibly as much vanity as women, though of another kind; and both
art and good breeding require that, instead of mortifying, you should
please and flatter it, by words and looks of approbation. Suppose
(which is by no means improbable) that, at your return to England, I
should place you near the person of some one of the royal family; in
that situation, good breeding, engaging address, adorned with all the
graces that dwell at courts, would very probably make you a favorite,
and from a favorite, a minister; but all the knowledge and learning in
the world, without them, never would. The penetration of princes seldom
goes deeper than the surface. It is the exterior that always engages
their hearts; and I would never advise you to give yourself much
trouble about their understandings. Princes in general (I mean those
Porphyrogenets who are born and bred in purple) are about the
pitch of women; bred up like them, and are to be addressed and gained
in the same manner. They always see, they seldom weigh. Your lustre,
not your solidity, must take them; your inside will afterward support
and secure what your outside has acquired. With weak people (and
they undoubtedly are three parts in four of mankind) good breeding,
address, and manners are everything; they can go no deeper; but let
me assure you that they are a great deal, even with people of the
best understandings. Where the eyes are not pleased, the heart is not
flattered, the mind will be apt to stand out. Be this right or wrong,
I confess I am so made myself. Awkwardness and ill breeding shock me,
to that degree, that where I meet with them, I cannot find in my heart
to inquire into the intrinsic merit of that person; I hastily decide
in myself that he can have none; and am not sure I should not even be
sorry to know that he had any. I often paint you in my imagination,
in your present lontananza; and, while I view you in the light
of ancient and modern learning, useful and ornamental knowledge, I
am charmed with the prospect; but when I view you in another light,
and represent you awkward, ungraceful, ill-bred, with vulgar air and
manners, shambling towards me with inattention and distractions,
I shall not pretend to describe to you what I feel; but will do as a
skilful painter did formerly, draw a veil before the countenance of the
father.
I dare say you know already enough of architecture, to know that the
Tuscan is the strongest and most solid of all the orders; but, at the
same time, it is the coarsest and clumsiest of them. Its solidity does
extremely well for the foundation and base floor of a great edifice;
but, if the whole building be Tuscan, it will attract no eyes, it will
stop no passengers, it will invite no interior examination; people
will take it for granted that the finishing and furnishing cannot
be worth seeing, where the front is so unadorned and clumsy. But
if, upon the solid Tuscan foundation, the Doric, the Ionic, and the
Corinthian orders, rise gradually with all their beauty, proportions,
and ornaments, the fabric seizes the most incurious eye, and stops the
most careless passenger; who solicits admission as a favor, nay, often
purchases it. Just so will it fare with your little fabric, which, at
present, I fear, has more of the Tuscan than the Corinthian order.
You must absolutely change the whole front, or nobody will knock at
the door. The several parts, which must compose this new front, are
elegant, easy, natural, superior good breeding; an engaging address;
genteel motions; an insinuating softness in your looks, words, and
actions; a spruce, lively air, and fashionable dress; and all the
glitter that a young fellow should have. [No date.]
Learning and Politeness.—I have often asserted, that the
profoundest learning, and the politest manners, were by no means
incompatible, though so seldom found united in the same person; and
I have engaged myself to exhibit you, as a proof of the truth of
this assertion. Should you, instead of that, happen to disprove me,
the concern indeed will be mine, but the loss will be yours. Lord
Bolingbroke is a strong instance on my side of the question; he joins,
to the deepest erudition, the most elegant politeness and good breeding
that ever any courtier and man of the world was adorned with. And
Pope very justly called him All Accomplished St. John, with regard to
his knowledge and his manners. He had, it is true, his faults; which
proceeded from unbounded ambition and impetuous passions; but they have
now subsided by age and experience; and I can wish you nothing better
than to be, what he is now, without being what he has been formerly.
His address pre-engages, his eloquence persuades, and his knowledge
informs all who approach him. Upon the whole, I do desire, and insist,
that, from after dinner till you go to bed, you make good breeding,
address, and manners your serious object and your only care. Without
them, you will be nobody; with them, you may be anything. [No
date.]
Proper Distinction.—Every rational being (I take it for
granted) proposes to himself some object more important than mere
respiration and obscure animal existence. He desires to distinguish
himself among his fellow-creatures; and alicui negotio intentus,
præclari facinoris, aut artis bonæ, famam quærit. Cæsar, when
embarking, in a storm, said, that it was not necessary he should live;
but that it was absolutely necessary he should get to the place to
which he was going. And Pliny leaves mankind this only alternative;
either of doing what deserves to be written, or of writing what
deserves to be read. As for those who do neither, eorum vitam
mortemque juxta æstumo; quoniam de utraque siletur. You have, I am
convinced, one or both of these objects in view; but you must know, and
use the necessary means, or your pursuit will be vain and frivolous.
In either case, capere est principium et fons; but it is by
no means all. That knowledge must be adorned, it must have lustre as
well as weight, or it will be oftener taken for lead than for gold.
Knowledge you have, and will have; I am easy upon that article. But
my business, as your friend, is not to compliment you upon what you
have, but to tell you with freedom what you want; and I must tell you
plainly, that I fear you want everything but knowledge. [Nov. 24,
1749.]
Style.—It is not every understanding that can judge of
matter; but every ear can and does judge, more or less, of style; and
were I either to speak or write to the public, I should prefer moderate
matter, adorned with all the beauties and elegancies of style, to the
strongest matter in the world, ill worded and ill delivered. Your
business is, negotiation abroad, and oratory in the House of Commons
at home. What figure can you make in either case, if your style be
inelegant, I do not say bad? Imagine yourself writing an office-letter
to a secretary of state, which letter is to be read by the whole
cabinet council, and very possibly afterward, laid before parliament;
any one barbarism, solecism, or vulgarism in it would, in a very
few days, circulate through the whole kingdom, to your disgrace and
ridicule. For instance; I will suppose you had written the following
letter from The Hague to the secretary of state at London, and leave
you to suppose the consequences of it:
“My Lord,—I had, last night, the honor of your
lordship’s letter, of the 24th; and will set about doing the
orders contained therein; and if so be that I can get
that affair done by the next post, I will not fail for to give
your lordship an account of it by next post. I have told the
French minister as how, that if that affair be not soon
concluded, your lordship would think it all long of him; and
that he must have neglected for to have wrote to his court
about it. I must beg leave to put your lordship in mind, as how,
that I am now full three quarters in arrear; and if so be that I
do not very soon receive at least one half year, I shall cut a very
bad figure; for this here place is very dear. I shall be
vastly beholden to your lordship for that there mark of
your favor; and so I rest, or remain, Yours,” etc.
You will tell me, possibly, that this is a caricatura of an
illiberal and inelegant style; I will admit it; but assure you, at the
same time, that a dispatch with less than half these faults would blow
you up forever. It is by no means sufficient to be free from faults
in speaking and writing; you must do both correctly and elegantly.
[Same date.]
Mispronunciation and Misuse of Words.—A person of the House
of Commons, speaking two years ago upon naval affairs, asserted, that
we had then the finest navy upon the face of the yearth. This
happy mixture of blunder and vulgarism, you may easily imagine, was
matter of immediate ridicule; but I can assure you that it continues so
still, and will be remembered as long as he lives and speaks. Another,
speaking in defence of a gentleman, upon whom a censure was moved,
happily said that he thought that gentleman was more liable
to be thanked and rewarded, than censured. You know, I presume, that
liable can never be used in a good sense. [Same date.]
Books for Oratory.—You have read Quintilian—the best book in
the world to form an orator; pray read Cicero, de Oratore—the
best book in the world to finish one. Translate and retranslate, from
and to Latin, Greek, and English; make yourself a pure and elegant
English style: it requires nothing but application. I do not find that
God has made you a poet; and I am very glad that he has not; therefore,
for God’s sake, make yourself an orator, which you may do. Though I
still call you a boy, I consider you no longer as such; and when I
reflect upon the prodigious quantity of manure that has been laid upon
you, I expect you should produce more at eighteen, than uncultivated
soils do at eight and twenty. [Same date.]
Chesterfield a Censor-Critic.—While the Roman republic
flourished, while glory was pursued and virtue practised, and while
even little irregularities and indecencies, not cognizable by law,
were, however, not thought below the public care, censors were
established, discretionally to supply, in particular cases, the
inevitable defects of the law, which must, and can only be general.
This employment I assume to myself, with regard to your little
republic, leaving the legislative power entirely to Mr. Harte; I hope,
and believe, that he will seldom, or rather never, have occasion to
exert his supreme authority; and I do by no means suspect you of any
faults that may require that interposition. But, to tell you the plain
truth, I am of opinion, that my censorial power will not be useless
to you, nor a sinecure to me. The sooner you make it both,
the better for us both. I can now exercise this employment only upon
hearsay, or, at most, written evidence; and therefore shall exercise
it with great lenity, and some diffidence; but when we meet, and that
I can form my judgment upon ocular and auricular evidence, I shall
no more let the least impropriety, indecorum, or irregularity pass
uncensured, than my predecessor Cato did. I shall read you with the
attention of a critic, not with the partiality of an author: different
in this respect, indeed, from most critics, that I shall seek for
faults only to correct, and not to expose them. [Nov. 26, 1749.]
Nicknames.—The little defects in manners, elocution, address,
and air (and even of figure, though very unjustly), are the objects of
ridicule, and the causes of nicknames. You cannot imagine the grief
it would give me, and the prejudice it would do you, if, by way of
distinguishing you from others of your name, you should happen to be
called Muttering Stanhope, Absent Stanhope, Ill-bred Stanhope, or
Awkward, Left-legged Stanhope; therefore, take great care to put it out
of the power of ridicule itself to give you any of these ridiculous
epithets; for, if you get one, it will stick to you like the envenomed
shirt. The very first day that I see you, I shall be able to tell you,
and certainly shall tell you, what degree of danger you are in; and I
hope that my admonitions, as censor, may prevent the censures of the
public. [Same date.]
Young Stanhope’s Portrait.—I send you here a portrait, drawn
by a lady at Venice, by my orders: “In compliance to your orders, I
have examined young Stanhope carefully, and think I have penetrated
into his character. This is his portrait, which I take to be a faithful
one. His face is pleasing, his countenance sensible, and his look
clever. His figure is at present rather too square; but if he shoots
up, which he has matter and years for, he will then be of a good size.
He has, undoubtedly, a great fund of acquired knowledge; I am assured
that he is master of the learned languages. As for French, I know he
speaks it perfectly, and I am told German, as well. The questions he
asks are judicious, and denote a thirst after knowledge. I cannot
say that he appears equally desirous of pleasing, for he seems to
neglect attentions and the graces. He does not come into a room well,
nor has he that easy, noble carriage, which would be proper for him.
It is true, he is as yet young and inexperienced; one may therefore
reasonably hope that his exercises, which he has not yet gone through,
and good company, in which he is still a novice, will polish, and give
all that is wanting to complete him. What seems necessary for that
purpose, would be an attachment to some woman of fashion, and who knows
the world. Some Madame de L’Ursay would be the proper person. In short,
I can assure you that he has everything which Lord Chesterfield can
wish him, excepting that carriage, those graces, and the style used
in the best company; which he will certainly acquire in time, and by
frequenting the polite world. If he should not, it would be great pity,
since he so well deserves to possess them. You know their importance.
My lord, his father, knows it too, he being master of them all. To
conclude, if little Stanhope acquires the graces, I promise you he will
make his way; if not, he will be stopped in a course, the goal of which
he might attain with honor.”43
Man Unrational, yet all Men the same in Feeling.—Those
who suppose that men in general act rationally, because they are
called rational creatures, know very little of the world; and if
they act themselves upon that supposition, will, nine times in ten,
find themselves grossly mistaken. That man is, animal bipes,
implume, risibile, I entirely agree; but for the
rationale, I can only allow it him in actu primo (to
talk logic), and seldom in actu secundo. Thus, the speculative,
cloistered pedant, in his solitary cell, forms systems of things, as
they should be, not as they are; and writes as decisively and absurdly
upon war, politics, manners, and characters, as that pedant talked,
who was so kind as to instruct Hannibal in the art of war. Such closet
politicians never fail to assign the deepest motives for the most
trifling actions; instead of often ascribing the greatest actions
to the most trifling causes, in which they would be much seldomer
mistaken. They read and write of kings, heroes, and statesmen, as never
do anything but upon the deepest principles of sound policy. But those
who see and observe kings, heroes, and statesmen, discover that they
have headaches, indigestions, humors, and passions, just like other
people; every one of which, in their turns, determine their wills, in
defiance of their reason. [Dec. 5, 1749.]
Charm of Manner.—The late Lord Townshend always spoke
materially, with argument and knowledge, but never pleased. Why? His
diction was not only inelegant, but frequently ungrammatical, always
vulgar; his cadences false, his voice unharmonious, and his action
ungraceful. Nobody heard him with patience; and the young fellows
used to joke upon him, and repeat his inaccuracies. The late Duke of
Argyle, though the weakest reasoner, was the most pleasing speaker I
ever knew in my life. He charmed, he warmed, he forcibly ravished the
audience; not by his matter certainly, but by his manner of delivering
it. A most genteel figure, a graceful, noble air, an harmonious voice,
an elegancy of style, and a strength of emphasis, conspired to make
him the most affecting, persuasive, and applauded speaker I ever
saw. I was captivated like others; but when I came home, and coolly
considered what he had said, stripped of all those ornaments in which
he had dressed it, I often found the matter flimsy, the arguments weak,
and I was convinced of the power of those adventitious concurring
circumstances, which ignorance of mankind only, calls trifling ones.
[Same date.]
Tickling Follies.—If you will please people, you must please
them in their own way; and, as you cannot make them what they should
be, you must take them as they are. I repeat it again, they are only
to be taken by agrémens, and by what flatters their senses
and their hearts. Rabelais first wrote a most excellent book, which
nobody liked; then, determined to conform to the public taste, he wrote
“Gargantua and Pantagruel,” which everybody liked, extravagant as it
was. Adieu. [Same date.]
True Elocution.—What then does all this mighty heart and
mystery of speaking in Parliament amount to? Why, no more than this,
that the man who speaks in the House of Commons, speaks in that house,
and to four hundred people, that opinion, upon a given subject, which
he would make no difficulty of speaking in any house in England, round
the fire, or at table, to any fourteen people whatsoever; better
judges, perhaps, and severer critics of what he says, than any fourteen
gentlemen of the House of Commons.
I have spoken frequently in Parliament, and not always without some
applause; and therefore I can assure you, from my experience, that
there is very little in it. The elegancy of the style, and the turn of
the periods, make the chief impression upon the hearers. Give them but
one or two round and harmonious periods in a speech, which they will
retain and repeat, and they will go home as well satisfied, as people
do from an opera, humming all the way one or two favorite tunes that
have struck their ears and were easily caught. Most people have ears,
but few have judgment; tickle those ears, and, depend upon it, you will
catch their judgments, such as they are. [Dec. 9, 1749.]
Hampden a Lesson.—Lord Clarendon, in his history, says of Mr.
John Hampden, that he had a head to contrive, a tongue to persuade,
and a hand to execute, any mischief. I shall not now enter into
the justness of this character of Mr. Hampden, to whose brave stand
against the illegal demand of ship-money, we owe our present liberties;
but I mention it to you as the character, which, with the alteration
of one single word, good, instead of mischief, I would
have you aspire to, and use your utmost endeavors to deserve. The head
to contrive, God must to a certain degree have given you; but it is
in your own power greatly to improve it, by study, observation, and
reflection. As for the tongue to persuade, it wholly depends
upon yourself; and without it the best head will contrive to very
little purpose. The hand to execute depends, likewise, in my opinion,
in a great measure upon yourself. Serious reflection will always give
courage in a good cause; and the courage arising from reflection is of
a much superior nature to the animal and constitutional courage of a
foot-soldier. The former is steady and unshaken, where the nodus
is dignus vindice; the latter is oftener improperly than
properly exerted, but always brutally. [Dec. 12, 1749.]
Things of Consequence—Bolingbroke.—He thought all these
things of consequence, and he thought right; pray do you think so too?
It is of the utmost consequence to you to be of that opinion. If you
have the least defect in your elocution, take the utmost care and pains
to correct it. Do not neglect your style, whatever language you speak
in, or whomever you speak to, were it your footman. Seek always for the
best words and the happiest expressions you can find. Do not content
yourself with being barely understood; but adorn your thoughts, and
dress them as you would your person; which, however well proportioned
it might be, it would be very improper and indecent to exhibit naked,
or even worse dressed than people of your sort are.
I have sent you, in a packet which your Leipsic acquaintance, Duval,
sends to his correspondent at Rome, Lord Bolingbroke’s book,44 which
he published about a year ago. I desire that you will read it over
and over again, with particular attention to the style, and to all
those beauties of oratory with which it is adorned. Till I read that
book, I confess I did not know all the extent and powers of the English
language. Lord Bolingbroke has both a tongue and a pen to persuade.
[Same date.]
Complicated Machines.—I have often told you (and it is
most true) that, with regard to mankind, we must not draw general
conclusions from certain particular principles, though, in the main,
true ones. We must not suppose that, because a man is a rational
animal, he will, therefore, always act rationally; or, because he has
such or such a predominant passion, that he will act invariably and
consequentially in the pursuit of it. No, we are complicated machines;
and though we have one main spring that gives motion to the whole,
we have an infinity of little wheels, which, in their turns, retard,
precipitate, and sometimes stop that motion. [Dec. 19, 1749.]
Ambition and Avarice.—There are two inconsistent passions,
which, however, frequently accompany each other, like man and wife;
and which, like man and wife too, are commonly clogs upon each other.
I mean ambition and avarice: the latter is often the true cause of
the former; and then is the predominant passion. It seems to have
been so in Cardinal Mazarin; who did anything, submitted to anything,
and forgave anything, for the sake of plunder. He loved and courted
power like a usurer; because it carried profit along with it. Whoever
should have formed his opinion, or taken his measures, singly, from
the ambitious part of Cardinal Mazarin’s character, would have found
himself often mistaken. Some, who had found this out, made their
fortunes by letting him cheat them at play. On the contrary, Cardinal
Richelieu’s prevailing passion seems to have been ambition, and
his immense riches, only the natural consequences of that ambition
gratified; and yet, I make no doubt but that ambition had now and then
its turn with the former, and avarice with the latter. Richelieu (by
the way) is so strong a proof of the inconsistency of human nature,
that I cannot help observing to you that, while he absolutely governed
both his king and his country, and was, in a great degree, the arbiter
of the fate of all Europe, he was more jealous of the great reputation
of Corneille, than of the power of Spain; and more flattered with being
thought (what he was not) the best poet, than with being thought (what
he certainly was) the greatest statesman in Europe; and affairs stood
still, while he was concerting the criticism upon the Cid.
Could one think this possible, if one did not know it to be true?
[Same date.]
Women, Vanity, and Love.—Women are much more like each other
than men; they have, in truth, but two passions, vanity and love: these
are their universal characteristics. An Agrippina may sacrifice them
to ambition, or a Messalina to lust; but such instances are rare; and,
in general, all they say, and all they do, tends to the gratification
of their vanity, or their love. He who flatters them most pleases them
best; and they are most in love with him who they think is the most
in love with them. No adulation is too strong for them; no assiduity
too great; no simulation of passion too gross; as, on the other
hand, the least word or action, that can possibly be construed into
a slight or contempt, is unpardonable, and never forgotten. Men are,
in this respect, tender, too, and will sooner forgive an injury than
an insult. Some men are more captious than others; some are always
wrongheaded; but every man living has such a share of vanity, as to be
hurt by marks of slight and contempt. Every man does not pretend to
be a poet, a mathematician, or a statesman, and considered as such;
but every man pretends to common-sense, and to fill his place in the
world with common decency; and, consequently, does not easily forgive
those negligencies, inattentions, and slights, which seem to call
in question, or utterly deny him, both these pretensions. [Same
date.]
Too Ready Friends.—Be upon your guard against those who,
upon very slight acquaintance, obtrude their unasked and unmerited
friendship and confidence upon you; for they probably cram you with
them only for their own eating; but, at the same time, do not roughly
reject them upon that general supposition. Examine further, and see
whether those unexpected offers flow from a warm heart and a silly
head, or a designing head and a cold heart; for knavery and folly have
often the same symptoms. In the first case, there is no danger in
accepting them, valeant quantum valere possunt. In the latter
case, it may be useful to seem to accept them, and artfully to turn the
battery upon him who raised it.
There is an incontinency of friendship among young fellows, who are
associated by their mutual pleasures only; which has, very frequently,
bad consequences. A parcel of warm hearts, and unexperienced heads,
heated by convivial mirth, and possibly a little too much wine, vow,
and really mean at the time, eternal friendships to each other, and
indiscreetly pour out their whole souls in common, and without the
least reserve. These confidences are as indiscreetly repealed, as they
were made; for new pleasures, and new places, soon dissolve this ill
cemented connection; and then very ill uses are made of these rash
confidences. Bear your part, however, in young companies; nay, excel,
if you can, in all the social and convivial joy and festivity that
become youth. Trust them with your love tales, if you please; but keep
your serious views secret. [Same date.]
The Gentler Virtues.—Cæsar had all the great vices, and
Cato all the great virtues, that men could have. But Cæsar had the
leniores virtutes, which Cato wanted; and which made him
beloved, even by his enemies, and gained him the hearts of mankind, in
spite of their reason; while Cato was not even beloved by his friends,
notwithstanding the esteem and respect which they could not refuse to
his virtues; and I am apt to think that if Cæsar had wanted, and Cato
possessed, those leniores virtutes, the former would not have
attempted (at least with success), and the latter could have protected,
the liberties of Rome. Mr. Addison, in his Cato, says of Cæsar (and I
believe with truth):
“Curse on his virtues, they’ve undone his country.”
Pride and Pedantry.—The costive liberality of a purse-proud
man insults the distresses it sometimes relieves; he takes care to
make you feel your own misfortunes, and the difference between your
situation and his; both which he insinuates to be justly merited:
yours, by your folly; his, by his wisdom. The arrogant pedant does not
communicate, but promulgates his knowledge. He does not give it to
you, but he inflicts it upon you; and is (if possible) more desirous
to show you your own ignorance, than his own learning. Such manners as
these, not only in the particular instances which I have mentioned, but
likewise in all others, shock and revolt that little pride and vanity,
which every man has in his heart; and obliterate in us the obligation
for the favor conferred, by reminding us of the motive which produced
and the manner which accompanied it. [No date.]
Greetings and Good Wishes.—The New Year is the season in
which custom seems more particularly to authorize civil and harmless
lies, under the name of compliments. People reciprocally profess
wishes, which they seldom form; and concern, which they seldom feel.
That is not the case between you and me, where truth leaves no room for
compliments.
Dii tibi dent annos, de te nam cætera sumes, was said formerly
to one, by a man who certainly did not think it. With the variation of
one word only, I will with great truth say it to you. I will make the
first part conditional, by changing, in the second, the nam into
si. May you live, as long as you are fit to live, but no longer!
or, may you rather die, before you cease to be fit to live, than after!
My true tenderness for you makes me think more of the manner than of
the length of your life, and forbids me to wish it prolonged, by a
single day, that should bring guilt, reproach, and shame upon you. I
have not malice enough in my nature to wish that to my greatest enemy.
You are the principal object of all my cares, the only object of all
my hopes: I have now reason to believe, that you will reward the
former, and answer the latter; in that case, may you live long, for
you must live happy; de te nam cætera sumes. Conscious virtue
is the only solid foundation of all happiness; for riches, power,
rank, or whatever, in the common acceptation of the word, is supposed
to constitute happiness, will never quiet, much less cure, the inward
pangs of guilt. To that main wish I will add those of the good old
nurse of Horace, in his Epistle to Tibullus: Sapere, you have
it in a good degree already. Et fari ut possit quæ sentiat.
Have you that? More, much more, is meant by it, than common speech,
or mere articulation. I fear that still remains to be wished for, and
I earnestly wish it you. Gratia and fama will inevitably
accompany the above-mentioned qualifications. The valetudo is
the only one that is not in your own power, Heaven alone can grant
it you, and may it do so abundantly! As for the mundus victus,
non deficiente crumenâ, do you deserve, and I will provide them.
[Dec. 26, 1749.]
Poets and Orators.—A man who is not born with a poetical
genius can never be a poet, or, at best, an extreme bad one: but every
man, who can speak at all, can speak elegantly and correctly, if he
pleases, by attending to the best authors and orators; and, indeed, I
would advise those who do not speak elegantly, not to speak at all;
for, I am sure, they will get more by their silence than by their
speech. As for politeness; whoever keeps good company, and is not
polite, must have formed a resolution, and taken some pains not to be
so; otherwise he would naturally and insensibly acquire the air, the
address, and the tone of those he converses with. [Same date.]
Method of Study—the World and Books.—Your first morning
hours, I would have you devote to your graver studies with Mr. Harte;
the middle part of the day, I would have employed in seeing things;
and the evenings, in seeing people. You are not, I hope, of a lazy,
inactive turn, in either body or mind; and, in that case, the day is
full long enough for everything; especially at Rome, where it is not
the fashion, as it is here and at Paris, to embezzle at least half of
it at table. But if, by accident, two or three hours are sometimes
wanting for some useful purpose, borrow them from your sleep. Six,
or at most seven hours’ sleep is, for a constancy, as much as you
or anybody can want: more is only laziness and dozing; and is, I
am persuaded, both unwholesome and stupefying. If, by chance, your
business, or your pleasures, should keep you up till four or five
o’clock in the morning, I would advise you, however, to rise exactly
at your usual time, that you may not lose the precious morning hours;
and that the want of sleep may force you to go to bed earlier the next
night. This is what I was advised to do when very young, by a very wise
man; and what, I assure you, I always did in the most dissipated part
of my life. I have very often gone to bed at six in the morning, and
rose, notwithstanding, at eight; by which means I got many hours, in
the morning, that my companions lost; and the want of sleep obliged
me to keep good hours the next, or at least the third night. To this
method I owe the greatest part of my reading; for, from twenty to
forty, I should certainly have read very little, if I had not been
up while my acquaintances were in bed. Know the true value of time;
snatch, seize, and enjoy every moment of it. No idleness, no laziness,
no procrastination: never put off till to-morrow what you can do
to-day. That was the rule of the famous and unfortunate pensionary De
Witt; who, by strictly following it, found time, not only to do the
whole business of the republic, but to pass his evenings at assemblies
and suppers, as if he had nothing else to do or think of. [Same
date.]
Religion, why Silent on.—I have seldom or never written to
you upon the subject of religion and morality: your own reason, I am
persuaded, has given you true notions of both; they speak best for
themselves; but, if they wanted assistance, you have Mr. Harte at
hand, both for precept and example: to your own reason, therefore,
and to Mr. Harte, shall I refer you, for the reality of both; and
confine myself, in this letter, to the decency, the utility, and the
necessity of scrupulously preserving the appearances of both. When I
say the appearances of religion, I do not mean that you should act or
talk like a missionary, or an enthusiast, nor that you should take up
a controversial cudgel against whoever attacks the sect you are of;
this would be both useless and unbecoming your age; but I mean that
you should by no means seem to approve, encourage, or applaud those
libertine notions, which strike at religions equally, and which are
the poor, threadbare topics of half wits and minute philosophers. Even
those who are silly enough to laugh at their jokes are still wise
enough to distrust and detest their characters; for, putting moral
virtues at the highest, and religion at the lowest, religion must still
be allowed to be a collateral security, at least, to virtue; and every
prudent man will sooner trust to two securities than to one. Whenever,
therefore, you happen to be in company with those pretended esprits
forts, or with thoughtless libertines, who laugh at all religion,
to show their wit, or disclaim it, to complete their riot, let no word
or look of yours indicate the least approbation; on the contrary, let
a silent gravity express your dislike: but enter not into the subject,
and decline such unprofitable and indecent controversies. Depend upon
this truth, that every man is the worse looked upon, and the less
trusted, for being thought to have no religion; in, spite of all the
pompous and specious epithets he may assume of esprit fort
free-thinker, or moral philosopher; and a wise atheist (if such a thing
there is) would, for his own interest and character in this world,
pretend to some religion. [Jan. 8, 1750.]
Moral Character.—Your moral character must be not only pure,
but, like Cæsar’s wife, unsuspected. The least speck or blemish upon
it is fatal. Nothing degrades and vilifies more, for it excites and
unites detestation and contempt. There are, however, wretches in the
world profligate enough to explode all notions of moral good and evil;
to maintain that they are merely local, and depend entirely upon the
customs and fashions of different countries: nay, there are still,
if possible, more unaccountable wretches; I mean, those who affect
to preach and propagate such absurd and infamous notions, without
believing them themselves. These are the Devil’s hypocrites. Avoid, as
much as possible, the company of such people; who reflect a degree of
discredit and infamy upon all who converse with them. But as you may,
sometimes, by accident, fall into such company, take great care that no
complaisance, no good humor, no warmth of festal mirth, ever make you
seem even to acquiesce, much less to approve or applaud, such infamous
doctrines. On the other hand, do not debate, nor enter into serious
argument, upon a subject so much below it: but content yourself with
telling these apostles, that you know they are not serious,
that you have a much better opinion of them than they would have you
have, and that you are very sure they would not practise the doctrine
they preach. But put your private mark upon them, and shun them for
ever afterwards. [Same date.]
Value of Character.—Show yourself, upon all occasions,
the advocate, the friend, but not the bully, of virtue. Colonel
Chartres,45 whom you have certainly heard of (who was, I believe,
the most notorious blasted rascal in the world, and who had, by all
sorts of crimes, amassed immense wealth), was so sensible of the
disadvantage of a bad character that I heard him once say, in his
impudent, profligate manner, that though he would not give one farthing
for virtue, he would give ten thousand pounds for
a character, because he should get a hundred thousand pounds by it;
whereas he was so blasted that he had no longer an opportunity of
cheating people. Is it possible, then, that an honest man can neglect
what a wise rogue would purchase so dear? [Same date.]
A Nice Distinction—Exaggeration.—Lord Bacon, very justly,
makes a distinction between simulation and dissimulation, and allows
the latter rather than the former; but still observes that they are
the weaker sort of politicians who have recourse to either. A man who
has strength of mind and strength of parts wants neither of them.
“Certainly,” says he, “the ablest men that ever were have all had
an openness and frankness of dealing, and a name of certainty and
veracity; but then they were like horses well managed, for they could
tell, passing well, when to stop or turn; and at such times, when they
thought the case indeed required some dissimulation, if then they used
it, it came to pass that the former opinion spread abroad, of their
good faith and clearness of dealing, made them almost invisible.”
There are people who indulge themselves in a sort of lying, which they
reckon innocent, and which in one sense is so; for it hurts nobody but
themselves. This sort of lying is the spurious offspring of vanity,
begotten upon folly. These people deal in the marvellous; they have
seen some things that never existed: they have seen other things which
they never really saw, though they did exist, only because they were
thought worth seeing. Has anything remarkable been said or done in
any place, or in any company? they immediately present and declare
themselves eye or ear witnesses of it. They have done feats themselves,
unattempted, or at least unperformed by others. They are always the
heroes of their own fables, and think that they gain consideration, or
at least present attention, by it. Whereas, in truth, all they get is
ridicule and contempt, not without a good degree of distrust: for one
must naturally conclude that he who will tell any lie from idle vanity
will not scruple telling a greater for interest. [Same date.]
The Novice in Society.—I remember that when, with all the
awkwardness and rust of Cambridge about me, I was first introduced
into good company, I was frightened out of my wits. I was determined
to be what I thought civil; I made fine low bows, and placed myself
below everybody; but when I was spoken to, or attempted to speak
myself, obstupui, steteruntque comæ et vox faucibus hæsit. If
I saw people whisper, I was sure it was at me; and I thought myself
the sole object of either the ridicule or the censure of the whole
company, who, God knows, did not trouble their heads about me. In
this way I suffered, for some time, like a criminal at the bar; and
should certainly have renounced all polite company forever, if I had
not been so convinced of the absolute necessity of forming my manners
upon those of the best companies, that I determined to persevere, and
suffer anything, or everything, rather than not compass that point.
Insensibly it grew easier to me; and I began not to bow so ridiculously
low, and to answer questions without great hesitation or stammering;
if, now and then, some charitable people, seeing my embarrassment, and
being désœuvré themselves, came and spoke to me, I considered
them as angels sent to comfort me; and that gave me a little courage.
I got more soon afterward, and was intrepid enough to go up to a fine
woman, and tell her that I thought it a warm day; she answered me, very
civilly, that she thought so too; upon which the conversation ceased,
on my part, for some time, till she, good-naturedly resuming it, spoke
to me thus: “I see your embarrassment, and I am sure that the few words
you said to me cost you a great deal; but do not be discouraged for
that reason, and avoid good company. We see that you desire to please,
and that is the main point; you want only the manner, and you think
that you want it still more than you do. You must go through your
noviciate before you can profess good breeding; and, if you will be my
novice, I will present you to my acquaintance as such.” [Jan. 11,
1750.]
The Chaperone.—There is a sort of veteran women (sic)
of condition, who, having lived always in the grand monde, and
having possibly had some gallantries, together with the experience of
five and twenty or thirty years, form a young fellow better than all
the rules that can be given him. These women, being past their bloom,
are extremely flattered by the least attention from a young fellow; and
they will point out to him those manners and attentions that
pleased and engaged them, when they were in the pride of their youth
and beauty. Wherever you go, make some of those women your friends,
which a very little matter will do. Ask their advice, tell them your
doubts or difficulties as to your behavior; but take great care not
to drop one word of their experience; for experience implies age, and
the suspicion of age, no woman, let her be ever so old, ever forgives.
[Same date.]
Necessary Accomplishments.—I here subjoin a list of all those
necessary, ornamental accomplishments (without which no man living can
either please or rise in the world), which hitherto I fear you want,
and which only require your care and attention to possess.
To speak elegantly whatever language you speak in; without which nobody
will hear you with pleasure, and, consequently, you will speak to very
little purpose.
An agreeable and distinct elocution; without which nobody will hear
you with patience; this everybody may acquire who is not born with
some imperfection in the organs of speech. You are not; and therefore
it is wholly in your power. You need take much less pains for it than
Demosthenes did.
A distinguished politeness of manners and address; which common-sense,
observation, good company, and imitation will infallibly give you, if
you will accept of it.
A genteel carriage, and graceful motions, with the air of a man of
fashion. A good dancing master, with some care on your part, and some
imitation of those who excel, will soon bring this about.
To be extremely clean in your person, and perfectly well dressed,
according to the fashion, be that what it will. Your negligence of
dress, while you were a schoolboy, was pardonable, but would not be so
now.
Upon the whole, take it for granted, that, without these
accomplishments, all you know, and all you can do, will avail you very
little. Adieu. [Jan. 18, 1750.]
Time—its Value.—Very few people are good economists of their
fortune, and still fewer of their time; and yet, of the two, the latter
is the most precious. I heartily wish you to be a good economist of
both; and you are now of an age to begin to think seriously of these
two important articles. Young people are apt to think they have so much
time before them, that they may squander what they please of it, and
yet have enough left; as very great fortunes have frequently seduced
people to a ruinous profusion. Fatal mistakes, always repented of, but
always too late! Old Mr. Lowndes, the famous Secretary of the Treasury,
in the reigns of King William, Queen Anne, and King George the First,
used to say, “Take care of the pence, and the pounds will take care
of themselves.” To this maxim, which he not only preached, but
practised, his two grandsons, at this time, owe the very considerable
fortunes that he left them. [Feb. 5, 1750.]
Lazy People—Dispatch—How to Read.—Many people lose a great
deal of their time by laziness; they loll and yawn in a great chair,
tell themselves that they have not time to begin anything then, and
that it will do as well another time. This is a most unfortunate
disposition, and the greatest obstruction to both knowledge and
business. At your age, you have no right nor claim to laziness; I have,
if I please, being emeritus. You are but just listed in the
world, and must be active, diligent, indefatigable. If ever you propose
commanding with dignity, you must serve up to it with diligence. Never
put off till to-morrow what you can do to-day.
Dispatch is the soul of business; and nothing contributes more to
dispatch than method. Lay down a method for everything, and stick to it
inviolably, as far as unexpected incidents may allow. Fix one certain
hour and day in the week for your accompts, and keep them together
in their proper order; by which means they will require very little
time, and you can never be much cheated. Whatever letters and papers
you keep, docket and tie them up in their respective classes, so that
you may instantly have recourse to any one. Lay down a method also for
your reading, for which you allot a certain share of your mornings;
let it be in a consistent and consecutive course, and not in that
desultory and immethodical manner, in which many people read scraps of
different authors, upon different subjects. Keep a useful and short
commonplace book of what you read, to help your memory only, and not
for pedantic quotations. Never read history without having maps, and a
chronological book, or tables, lying by you, and constantly recurred
to; without which history is only a confused heap of facts. One method
more I recommend to you, by which I have found great benefit, even in
the most dissipated part of my life; that is, to rise early, and at
the same hour every morning, how late soever you may have sat up the
night before. This secures you an hour or two, at least, of reading and
reflection, before the common interruptions of the morning begin; and
it will save your constitution, by forcing you to go to bed early, at
least one night in three. [Feb. 5, 1750.]
Dignity in Pleasure.—There is a certain dignity to be kept up
in pleasures, as well as in business. In love, a man may lose his heart
with dignity; but if he loses his nose, he loses his character into the
bargain. At table, a man may with decency have a distinguishing palate;
but indiscriminate voraciousness degrades him to a glutton. A man may
play with decency; but if he games, he is disgraced. Vivacity and wit
make a man shine in company; but trite jokes and loud laughter reduce
him to a buffoon. Every virtue, they say, has its kindred vice; every
pleasure, I am sure, has its neighboring disgrace. Mark carefully,
therefore, the line that separates them, and carefully stop a yard
short, than step an inch beyond it.
I wish to God that you had as much pleasure in following my advice, as
I have in giving it you; and you may the easier have it, as I give you
none that is inconsistent with your pleasure. [Same date.]
False Wit.—To do justice to the best English and French
authors; they have not given in to that false taste; they allow no
thoughts to be good, that are not just, and founded upon truth. The
age of Louis XIV. was very like the Augustan; Boileau, Molière, La
Fontaine, Racine, etc., established the true, and exposed the false
taste. The reign of King Charles II. (meritorious in no other respect)
banished false tastes out of England, and proscribed puns, quibbles,
acrostics, etc. Since that, false wit has renewed its attacks, and
endeavored to recover its lost empire, both in England and France,
but without success; though, I must say, with more success in France
than in England: Addison, Pope and Swift, having vigorously defended
the rights of good-sense, which is more than can be said of their
contemporary French authors, who have of late had a great tendency to
le faux brillant, le ranfiement, et l’entortillement. And Lord
Roscommon would be more in the right now, than he was then, in saying,
that
“The English bullion of one sterling line,
Drawn to French wire, would through whole pages shine.”
[Same date.]
No Stoic.—I confess, the pleasures of high life are not
always strictly philosophical; and I believe a stoic would blame my
indulgence; but I am yet no stoic, though turned of five-and-fifty;
and I am apt to think that you are rather less so, at eighteen. The
pleasures of the table, among people of the first fashion, may, indeed,
sometimes, by accident, run into excesses; but they will never sink
into a continued course of gluttony and drunkenness. The gallantry
of high life, though not strictly justifiable, carries, at least, no
external marks of infamy about it. [March 8, 1750.]
Etiquette.—I did not think that the present Pope46 was a
sort of man to build seven modern little chapels at the expense of so
respectable a piece of antiquity as the Coliseum. However, let
his holiness’ taste of vertu be ever so bad, pray get somebody
to present you to him, before you leave Rome; and without hesitation
kiss his slipper, or whatever else the etiquette of that court
requires. I would have you see all those ceremonies; and I presume that
you are, by this time, ready enough at Italian to understand and answer
il Santo Padre in that language. [March 19, 1750.]
Bibliomania.—When you return here, I am apt to think that
you will find something better to do than to run to Mr. Osborne’s at
Gray’s-Inn, to pick up scarce books. Buy good books, and read them;
the best books are the commonest, and the last editions are always
the best, if the editors are not blockheads; for they may profit of
the former. But take care not to understand editions and title-pages
too well. It always smells of pedantry, and not always of learning.
What curious books I have, they are indeed but few, shall be at your
service. I have some of the Old Collana, and the Macchiavel of 1550.
Beware of the Bibliomanie. [Same date.]
Constitutional Monarchy.—England is now the only monarchy in
the world that can properly be said to have a constitution; for the
people’s rights and liberties are secured by laws. I cannot reckon
Sweden and Poland to be monarchies. [March 29, 1750.]
Aim High.—Aim at perfection in everything, though in most
things it is unattainable; however, they who aim at it, and persevere,
will come much nearer it than those whose laziness and despondency,
make them give it up as unattainable. Magnis tamen excidit ausis
is a degree of praise which will always attend a noble and shining
temerity, and a much better sign in a young fellow, than serpere
humi, tutus nimium timidusque procellæ, for men, as well as women.
[May 24, 1750.]
A Due Return.—I heard with great satisfaction the other day,
from one who has been lately at Rome, that nobody was better received
in the best companies than yourself. The same thing, I dare say,
will happen to you at Paris, where they are particularly kind to all
strangers who will be civil to them and show a desire of pleasing. But
they must be flattered a little, not only by words, but by a seeming
preference given to their country, their manners, and their customs;
which is but a small price to pay for a very good reception. Were I in
Africa, I would pay it to a negro for his good-will. Adieu. [June 5,
1750.]
Use of Oratory.—Your trade is to speak well, both in public
and in private. The manner of your speaking is full as important as the
matter, as more people have ears to be tickled than understandings
to judge. Be your productions ever so good, they will be of no use if
you stifle and strangle them in their birth. The best compositions
of Corelli, if ill executed, and played out of tune, instead of
touching, as they do when well performed, would only excite the
indignation of the hearers, when murdered by an unskilful performer.
But to murder your own productions, and that coram populo, is
a Medean cruelty, which Horace absolutely forbids. Remember
of what importance Demosthenes, and one of the Gracchi, thought
enunciation; read what stress Cicero and Quintilian lay upon it;
even the herb-women at Athens were correct judges of it. Oratory with
all its graces, that of enunciation in particular, is full as necessary
in our government, as it ever was in Greece or Rome. No man can make
a fortune or a figure in this country, without speaking, and speaking
well in public. [July 9, 1750.]
Speak Well.—Recite pieces of eloquence, declaim scenes of
tragedies to Mr. Harte, as if he were a numerous audience. If there is
any particular consonant which you have a difficulty in articulating,
as I think you had with the R, utter it millions and millions
of times, till you have uttered it right. Never speak quick, till
you have first learned to speak well. In short, lay aside every book
and every thought, that does not directly tend to this great object,
absolutely decisive of your future fortune and figure. [Same
date.]
A Truth.—Pleasure is necessarily reciprocal; no one feels who
does not at the same time give it. To be pleased, one must please. What
pleases you in others, will in general please them in you. [Same
date.]
Learned Ignorance.—A man of the best parts, and the greatest
learning, if he does not know the world by his own experience and
observation, will be very absurd, and consequently very unwelcome
in company. He may say very good things; but they will probably be
so ill-timed, misplaced, or improperly addressed, that he had much
better hold his tongue. Full of his own matter, and uninformed of, or
inattentive to, the particular circumstances and situations of the
company, he vents it indiscriminately; he puts some people out of
countenance; he shocks others; and frightens all, who dread what may
come out next. The most general rule that I can give you for the world,
and which your experience will convince you of the truth of, is: Never
to give the tone to the company, but to take it from them; and to
labor more to put them in conceit with themselves, than to make them
admire you. Those whom you can make like themselves better, will, I
promise you, like you very well. [Aug. 6, 1750.]
A Portrait.—It is Lady Hervey,47 whom I directed you to
call upon at Dijon; but who, to my great joy, because to your great
advantage, passes all this winter at Paris. She has been bred all her
life at courts; of which she has acquired all the easy good breeding
and politeness, without the frivolousness. She has all the reading
that a woman should have: and more than any woman need have; for she
understands Latin perfectly well, though she wisely conceals it. As
she will look upon you as her son, I desire that you will look upon
her as my delegate: trust, consult, and apply to her without reserve.
No woman ever had, more than she has, le ton de la parfaitement
bonne compagnie, les manières engageantes et le je ne sais quoi qui
plaît. Desire her to reprove and correct any, and every, the least
error and inaccuracy in your manners, air, addresses, etc. No woman in
Europe can do it so well; none will do it more willingly, or in a more
proper and obliging manner. [Oct. 22, 1750.]
History.—While you are in France, I could wish that the
hours you allot for historical amusement should be entirely devoted
to the history of France. One always reads history to most advantage
in that country to which it is relative, not only books but persons
being ever at hand to solve the doubts and clear up difficulties. I do
by no means advise you to throw away your time in ransacking, like a
dull antiquarian, the minute and important parts of remote and fabulous
times. Let blockheads read what blockheads wrote. A general notion of
the history of France, from the conquest of that country by the Franks,
to the reign of Lewis the Eleventh, is sufficient for use, consequently
sufficient for you. There are, however, in those remote times, some
remarkable eras, that deserve more particular attention; I mean those
in which some notable alterations happened in the constitution and form
of government. [Nov. 1, 1750.]
Small Talk.—I am far from meaning by this, that you should
always be talking wisely, in company, of books, history, and matters of
knowledge. There are many companies which you will and ought to keep,
where such conversations would be misplaced and ill-timed; your own
good sense must distinguish the company, and the time. You must trifle
with triflers, and be serious only with the serious, but dance to those
who pipe. Cur in theatrum Cato severe venisti? was justly said
to an old man; how much more so would it be to one of your age? From
the moment that you are dressed, and go out, pocket all your knowledge
with your watch, and never pull it out in company unless desired: the
producing of the one unasked implies that you are weary of the company;
and the producing of the other unrequired will make the company weary
of you. Company is a republic too jealous of its liberties to suffer
a dictator even for a quarter of an hour; and yet in that, as in all
republics, there are some who really govern, but then it is by seeming
to disclaim, instead of attempting to usurp, the power; that is the
occasion in which manners, dexterity, address, and the undefinable
je ne sais quoi triumph; if properly exerted, their conquest is
sure, and the more lasting for not being perceived. Remember, that this
is not only your first and greatest, but ought to be almost your only
object, while you are in France. [Same date.]
A Rake.—Having mentioned the word rake, I must say a word or
two more upon that subject, because young people too frequently, and
always fatally, are apt to mistake that character for that of a man
of pleasure; whereas, there are not in the world two characters more
different. A rake is a composition of all the lowest, most ignoble,
degrading, and shameful vices; they all conspire to disgrace his
character, and to ruin his fortune; while wine and disease contend
which shall soonest and most effectually destroy his constitution. A
dissolute, flagitious footman, or porter, makes full as good a rake as
a man of the first quality. By the by, let me tell you, that in the
wildest part of my youth I never was a rake, but, on the contrary,
always detested and despised the character.48 [Nov. 8, 1750.]
Keep the Peace.—Keep carefully out of all scrapes and
quarrels. They lower a character extremely; and are particularly
dangerous in France; where a man is dishonored by not resenting an
affront, and utterly ruined by resenting it. The young Frenchmen are
hasty, giddy, and petulant; extremely national, and avantageux.
Forbear from any national jokes or reflections, which are always
improper, and commonly unjust. The colder northern nations generally
look upon France as a whistling, singing, dancing, frivolous nation;
this notion is very far from being a true one, though many petits
maîtres by their behavior seem to justify it; but those very
petits maîtres, when mellowed by age and experience, very often
turn out very able men. The number of great generals and statesmen, as
well as excellent authors, that France has produced, is an undeniable
proof, that it is not that frivolous, unthinking, empty nation that the
northern prejudices suppose it. [No date.]
A New Constitution.—This epigram in Martial:
“Non amo te, Sabidi, nec possum dicere quare,
Hoc tantum possum dicere, non amo te”—
49
has puzzled a great many people; who cannot conceive how it is possible
not to love anybody, and yet not to know the reason why. I think I
conceive Martial’s meaning very clearly, though the nature of epigram,
which is to be short, would not allow him to explain it more fully; and
I take it to be this: “O Sabidis, you are a very worthy, deserving man;
you have a thousand good qualities, you have a great deal of learning;
I esteem, I respect, but for the soul of me, I cannot love you, though
I cannot particularly say why. You are not amiable; you have not those
engaging manners, those pleasing attentions, those graces, and that
address, which are absolutely necessary to please, though impossible to
define. I cannot say it is this or that particular thing which hinders
me from loving you, it is the whole together; and upon the whole you
are not agreeable.” How often have I, in the course of my life, found
myself in this situation, with regard to many of my acquaintance, whom
I have honored and respected, without being able to love? I did not
know why, because, when one is young, one does not take the trouble,
nor allow one’s self the time, to analyze one’s sentiments, and to
trace them up to their source. [Feb. 28, 1751.]
Carriage of the Body.—It sounds ridiculously to bid you study
with your dancing master; and yet I do. The bodily carriage and graces
are of infinite consequence to everybody, and more particularly to you.
Adieu for this time, my dear child. Yours tenderly. [No date.]
How to Please.—An air, a tone of voice, a composure of
countenance to mildness and softness, which are all easily acquired, do
the business; and without further examination, and possibly with the
contrary qualities, that man is reckoned the gentlest, the modestest,
and the best-natured man alive. Happy the man who, with a certain fund
of parts and knowledge, gets acquainted with the world early enough to
make it his bubble, at an age when most people are the bubbles of the
world! for that is the common case of youth. They grow wiser when it
is too late; and, ashamed and vexed at having been bubbles so long,
too often turn knaves at last. Do not, therefore, trust to appearances
and outside yourself, but pay other people with them, because you may
be sure that nine in ten of mankind do, and ever will, trust to them.
This is by no means a criminal or blamable simulation, if not used
with an ill intention. I am by no means blamable in desiring to have
other people’s good word, good-will, and affection, if I do not mean to
abuse them. Your heart, I know, is good, your sense is sound, and your
knowledge extensive. [May 6, 1751.]
Pictures.—I received yesterday, at the same time, your
letters of the 4th and the 11th, N. S., and being much more careful of
my commissions than you are of yours, I do not delay one moment sending
you my final instructions concerning the pictures. The man, you allow
to be a Titian, and in good preservation; the woman is an indifferent
and a damaged picture; but, as I want them for furniture for a
particular room, companions are necessary; and therefore I am willing
to take the woman, for better for worse, upon account of the man; and
if she is not too much damaged, I can have her tolerably repaired, as
many a fine woman is, by a skilful hand here; but then I expect the
lady should be, in a manner, thrown into the bargain with the man; and
in this state of affairs, the woman being worth little or nothing, I
will not go above fourscore louis for the two together. As for the
Rembrandt you mention, though it is very cheap, if good, I do not care
for it. I love la belle nature; Rembrandt paints caricatures.
Now for your own commissions, which you seem to have forgotten. [May
10, 1751.]
Dancing and Deportment.—Lady Hervey, who is your puff and
panegyrist, writes me word, that she saw you lately dance at a ball,
and that you dance very genteelly. I am extremely glad to hear it; for
(by the maxim that omne majus continet in se minus) if you dance
genteelly, I presume you walk, sit, and stand genteelly too; things
which are much more easy, though much more necessary, than dancing
well. I have known many very genteel people, who could not dance well;
but I never knew anybody dance very well, who was not genteel in other
things. You will probably often have occasion to stand in circles, at
the levees of princes and ministers, when it is very necessary, de
payer de sa personne, et d’être bien planté, with your feet not too
near nor too distant from each other. More people stand and walk, than
sit genteelly. Awkward, ill-bred people, being ashamed, commonly sit up
bolt upright and stiff; others, too negligent and easy, se vautrent
dans leur fauteuil, which is ungraceful and ill-bred, unless where
the familiarity is extreme. [June 10, 1751.]
Little Nothings.—I know a man, and so do you, who, without
a grain of merit, knowledge, or talents, has raised himself millions
of degrees above his level, simply by a good air and engaging manners;
insomuch that the very prince, who raised him so high, calls him,
mon aimable vaurien50: but of this do not open your lips,
pour cause. I give you this secret, as the strongest proof
imaginable, of the efficacy of air, address, tournure, et tous ces
petits riens. [Same date.]
Ease of Manner.—Les bienséances51 are a most
necessary part of the knowledge of the world. They consist in the
relations of persons, things, time, and place; good sense points them
out, good company perfects them (supposing always an attention and a
desire to please), and good policy recommends them.
Were you to converse with a king, you ought to be as easy and
unembarrassed as with your own valet de chambre; but yet every look,
word, and action should imply the utmost respect. What would be proper
and well-bred with others much your superiors, would be absurd and
ill-bred with one so very much so. You must wait till you are spoken
to; you must receive, not give, the subject of conversation, and you
must even take care that the given subject of such conversation do not
lead you into any impropriety. [June 13, 1751.]
Social Respect.—In mixed companies with your equals (for
in mixed companies all people are to a certain degree equal) greater
ease and liberty are allowed; but they too have their bounds within
bienséance. There is a social respect necessary; you may
start your own subject of conversation with modesty, taking great
care, however, de ne jamais parler de cordes dans la maison d’un
pendu. Your words, gestures, and attitudes have a greater degree
of latitude, though by no means an unbounded one. You may have your
hands in your pockets, take snuff, sit, stand, or occasionally walk, as
you like; but I believe you would not think it very bienséant
to whistle, put on your hat, loosen your garters or your buckles, lie
down upon a couch, or go to bed, and welter in an easy chair. These
are negligences and freedoms which one can only take when quite alone;
they are injurious to superiors, shocking and offensive to equals,
brutal and insulting to inferiors. That easiness of carriage and
behavior, which is exceedingly engaging, widely differs from negligence
and inattention, and by no means implies that one may do whatever one
pleases. [Same date.]
Respect due to Woman.—To women you should always address
yourself with great outward respect and attention, whatever you feel
inwardly; their sex is by long prescription entitled to it; and it
is among the duties of bienséance; at the same time that
respect is very properly, and very agreeably, mixed with a degree of
enjouement, if you have it; but then, that badinage must
either directly or indirectly tend to their praise, and even not be
liable to a malicious construction to their disadvantage. But here,
too, great attention must be had to the difference of age, rank, and
situation. A maréchale of fifty must not be played with like a
young coquette of fifteen; respect and serious enjouement, if
I may couple those two words, must be used with the former, and mere
badinage, zesté même d’un peu de polissonerie, is pardonable
with the latter. [Same date.]
Horse-Laughter.—Loud laughter is extremely inconsistent
with les bienséances, as it is only the illiberal and noisy
testimony of the joy of the mob, at some very silly thing. A gentleman
is often seen, but very seldom heard, to laugh. Nothing is more
contrary to les bienséances than horse-play, or jeux de
main of any kind whatever, and has often very serious, sometimes
very fatal consequences. Romping, struggling, throwing things at one
another’s head, are the becoming pleasantries of the mob, but degrade
a gentleman; giuoco di mano, giuoco di villano, is a very true
saying, among the few true sayings of the Italians.
There is a bienséance also with regard to people of the lowest
degree; a gentleman observes it with his footman, even with the beggar
in the street. He considers them as objects of compassion, not of
insult; he speaks to neither d’un ton brusque, but corrects
the one coolly, and refuses the other with humanity. There is no one
occasion in the world in which le ton brusque is becoming a
gentleman. In short, les bienséances are another word for
manners. [Same date.]
The Two Ages.—Now that all tumultuous passions and quick
sensations have subsided with me, and that I have no tormenting
cares nor boisterous pleasures to agitate me, my greatest joy is
to consider the fair prospect you have before you, and to hope and
believe you will enjoy it. You are already in the world, at an age when
others have hardly heard of it. Your character is hitherto not only
unblemished in its moral part, but even unsullied by any low, dirty,
and ungentlemanlike vice; and will, I hope, continue so. Your knowledge
is sound, extensive, and avowed, especially in everything relative to
your destination. With such materials to begin, what then is wanting?
Not fortune, as you have found by experience. You have had, and shall
have, fortune sufficient to assist your merit and your industry; and,
if I can help it, you never shall have enough to make you negligent of
either. You have, too, mens sana in corpore sano, the greatest
blessing of all. All, therefore, that you want is as much in your power
to acquire, as to eat your breakfast when set before you; it is only
that knowledge of the world, that elegancy of manners, that universal
politeness, and those graces, which keeping good company, and seeing
variety of places and characters, must inevitably, with the least
attention on your part, give you. Your foreign destination leads to
the greatest things, and your parliamentary situation will facilitate
your progress; consider then this pleasing prospect as attentively for
yourself, as I consider it for you. Labor on your part to realize it,
as I will on mine to assist and enable you to do it. Nullum numen
abest, si sit prudentia. [Same date.]
A Reference at Court.—I would wish you to be able to talk
upon all these things, better and with more knowledge than other
people; insomuch that, upon those occasions, you should be applied to,
and that people should say, I dare say Mr. Stanhope can tell us.
Second-rate knowledge, and middling talents, carry a man farther at
courts, and in the busy part of the world, than superior knowledge and
shining parts. Tacitus very justly accounts for a man’s having always
kept in favor, and enjoyed the best employments, under the tyrannical
reigns of three or four of the very worst emperors, by saying that it
was not propter aliquam eximiam artem, sed quia par negotiis neque
supra erat. Discretion is the great article; all those things are
to be learned and only learned by keeping a great deal of the best
company. Frequent those good houses where you have already a footing,
and wriggle yourself somehow or other into every other. Haunt the
courts particularly, in order to get that routine. [June 20,
1751.]
French and English Hunting.—Our abbé writes me word that you
were gone to Compiègne; I am very glad of it; other courts must form
you for your own. He tells me, too, that you have left off riding at
the manège; I have no objection to that, it takes up a great
deal of the morning; and if you have got a genteel and firm seat on
horseback, it is enough for you, now that tilts and tournaments are
laid aside. I suppose you have hunted at Compiègne. The king’s hunting
there, I am told, is a fine sight. The French manner of hunting is
gentlemanlike; ours is only for bumpkins and boobies. The poor beasts
here are pursued and run down by much greater beasts than themselves;
and the true British fox-hunter is most undoubtedly a species
appropriated and peculiar to this country, which no other part of the
globe produces. [June 30, 1751.]
Polite Affection.—Remember to bring your mother some little
presents; they need not be of value, but only marks of your affection
and duty for one who has always been tenderly fond of you. You may
bring Lady Chesterfield a little Martin snuff-box, of about five louis;
and you need bring over no other presents; you and I not wanting les
petits présens pour entretenir l’amitié. [July 8, 1751.]
Inattention.—Laziness of mind, or inattention, are as
great enemies to knowledge, as incapacity; for, in truth, what
difference is there between a man who will not, and a man who cannot,
be informed? This difference only, that the former is justly to be
blamed, and the latter to be pitied. And yet how many are there, very
capable of receiving knowledge, who, from laziness, inattention, and
incuriousness, will not so much as ask for it, much less take the least
pains to acquire it.
Our young English travellers generally distinguish themselves by a
voluntary privation of all that useful knowledge for which they are
sent abroad; and yet, at that age, the most useful knowledge is the
most easy to be acquired; conversation being the book, and the best
book, in which it is contained. [Jan. 2, 1752.]
The Drama.—I could wish there were a treaty made between
the French and the English theatres, in which both parties should
make considerable concessions. The English ought to give up their
notorious violations of all the unities; and all their massacres,
racks, dead bodies, and mangled carcasses, which they so frequently
exhibit upon their stage. The French should engage to have more action,
and less declamation; and not to cram and crowd things together to
almost a degree of impossibility, from a too scrupulous adherence
to the unities. The English should restrain the licentiousness of
their poets, and the French enlarge the liberty of theirs: their
poets are the greatest slaves in their country, and that is a bold
word; ours are the most tumultuous subjects in England, and that is
saying a good deal. Under such regulations, one might hope to see a
play, in which one should not be lulled to sleep by the length of a
monotonical declamation, nor frightened and shocked by the barbarity of
the action. The unity of time extended occasionally to three or four
days, and the unity of place broke into, as far as the same street, or
sometimes the same town; both which, I will affirm, are as probable, as
four-and-twenty hours, and the same room.
More indulgence, too, in my mind, should be shown, than the French are
willing to allow, to bright thoughts, and to shining images; for though
I confess, it is not very natural for a hero or a princess to say fine
things, in all the violence of grief, love, rage, etc., yet I can as
well suppose that, as I can that they should talk to themselves for
half an hour; which they must necessarily do, or no tragedy could be
carried on, unless they had recourse to a much greater absurdity, the
choruses of the ancients. Tragedy is of a nature, that one must see it
with a degree of self-deception; we must lend ourselves, a little, to
the delusion; and I am very willing to carry that complaisance a little
further than the French do.
Tragedy must be something bigger than life, or it would not affect us.
In nature the most violent passions are silent; in tragedy they must
speak, and speak with dignity, too. Hence the necessity of their being
written in verse, and, unfortunately for the French, from the weakness
of their language, in rhymes. And for the same reason, Cato, the Stoic,
expiring at Utica, rhymes masculine and feminine,52 at Paris; and
fetches his last breath at London, in most harmonious and correct blank
verse.
It is quite otherwise with comedy, which should be mere common life,
and not one jot bigger. Every character should speak upon the stage,
not only what it would utter in the situation there represented, but
in the same manner in which it would express it. For which reason, I
cannot allow rhymes in comedy, unless they were put into the mouth and
came out of the mouth of a mad poet. But it is impossible to deceive
one’s self enough (nor is it the least necessary in comedy) to suppose
a dull rogue of a usurer cheating, or gros Jean blundering, in
the finest rhymes in the world.
As for operas, they are essentially too absurd and extravagant to
mention: I look upon them as a magic scene, contrived to please the
eyes and the ears, at the expense of the understanding; and I consider
singing, rhyming, and chiming heroes, and princesses, and philosophers,
as I do the hills, the trees, the birds, and the beasts, who amicably
joined in one common country dance, to the irresistible tune of
Orpheus’s lyre. Whenever I go to an opera, I leave my sense and reason
at the door with my half guinea, and deliver myself up to my eyes and
my ears. [Jan. 23, 1752.]
Ridicule.—It is commonly said, and more particularly by Lord
Shaftesbury, that ridicule is the best test of truth; for that it will
not stick where it is not just. I deny it.53 A truth learned in a
certain light, and attacked in certain words by men of wit and humor,
may, and often doth, become ridiculous, at least so far, that the
truth is only remembered and repeated for the sake of the ridicule. The
overturn of Mary of Medicis into a river, where she was half drowned,
would never have been remembered, if Madame de Vernueil, who saw it,
had not said la Reine boit. Pleasure or malignity often gives
ridicule a weight, which it does not deserve. [Same date.]
Comedies.—I chiefly mind dialogue and character in comedies.
Let dull critics feed the carcasses of plays; give me the taste and the
dressing. [Feb. 6, 1752.]
The Weight of Low People.—In courts a universal gentleness
and douceur dans les manières is most absolutely necessary:
an offended fool, or a slighted valet de chambre, may, very
possibly, do more hurt at court, than ten men of merit can do you good.
Fools, and low people, are always jealous of their dignity; and never
forget nor forgive what they reckon a slight. [Same date.]
At Court.—There is a court garment, as well as a wedding
garment, without which you will not be received. That garment is the
volto sciolto: an imposing air, an elegant politeness, easy and
engaging manners, universal attention, an insinuating gentleness,
and all those je ne sais quoi that compose the grâces.
[Same date.]
Perfection.—In all systems whatsoever, whether of
religion, government, morals, etc., perfection is the object always
proposed, though possibly unattainable; hitherto, at least, certainly
unattained. However, those who aim carefully at the mark itself,
will unquestionably come nearer to it than those who, from despair,
negligence, or indolence, leave to chance the work of skill. This maxim
holds equally true in common life; those who aim at perfection will
come infinitely nearer it than those desponding or indolent spirits,
who foolishly say to themselves, nobody is perfect; perfection is
unattainable; to attempt it is chimerical; I shall do as well as
others; why then should I give myself trouble to be what I never can,
and what, according to the common course of things, I need not be,
perfect? [Feb. 20, 1752.]
Omnis Homo.—I would have him have lustre as well as weight.
Did you ever know anybody that reunited all these talents? Yes, I did;
Lord Bolingbroke joined all the politeness, the manners, and the graces
of a courtier, to the solidity of a statesman, and to the learning of
a pedant. He was omnis homo; and pray what should hinder my
boy of doing so too, if he hath, as I think he hath, all the other
qualifications that you allow him? [Same date.]
Knowledge of Literature.—A gentleman should know those which
I call classical works, in every language: such as Boileau, Corneille,
Racine, Molière, etc., in French; Milton, Dryden, Pope, Swift, etc., in
English; and the three authors above mentioned54 in Italian: whether
you have any such in German I am not quite sure, nor, indeed, am I
inquisitive. These sort of books adorn the mind, improve the fancy, are
frequently alluded to by, and are often the subjects of conversations
of, the best companies. As you have languages to read, and memory to
retain them, the knowledge of them is very well worth the little pains
it will cost you, and will enable you to shine in company. It is not
pedantic to quote and allude to them, which it would be with regard to
the ancients. [March 2, 1752.]
Nothing by Halves.—Whatever business you have, do it
the first moment you can; never by halves, but finish it without
interruption, if possible. Business must not be sauntered and trifled
with; and you must not say to it, as Felix did to Paul, “at a more
convenient season I will speak to thee.” The most convenient season
for business is the first; but study and business, in some measure,
point out their own times to a man of sense; time is much oftener
squandered away in the wrong choice and improper methods of amusement
and pleasures. [March 5, 1752.]
Formation of Manners.—Nothing forms a young man so much as
being used to keep respectable and superior company, where a constant
regard and attention is necessary. It is true, this is at first a
disagreeable state of restraint; but it soon grows habitual, and
consequently easy; and you are amply paid for it, by the improvement
you make, and the credit it gives you. [Same date.]
The Best School.—Company, various company, is the only school
for this knowledge. You ought to be, by this time, at least in the
third form of that school, from whence the rise to the uppermost is
easy and quick; but then you must have application and vivacity, you
must not only bear with, but even seek, restraint in some companies,
instead of stagnating in one or two only, where indolence and love of
ease may be indulged. [March 16, 1752.]
Chesterfield’s Prophecy.—I do not know what the Lord’s
anointed, His vicegerent upon earth, divinely appointed by Him, and
accountable to none but Him for his actions, will either think or do,
upon these symptoms of reason and good sense, which seem to be breaking
out all over France; but this I foresee, that before the end of this
century, the trade of both king and priest will not be half so good
a one as it has been. Du Clos, in his reflections, hath observed,
and very truly, qu’il y a un germe de raison qui commence à se
développer en France. A développement that must prove fatal
to regal and papal pretensions. Prudence may, in many cases, recommend
an occasional submission to either; but when that ignorance, upon which
an implicit faith in both could only be founded, is once removed, God’s
vicegerent, and Christ’s vicar, will only be obeyed and believed, as
far as what the one orders, and the other says, is conformable to
reason and to truth. [April 13, 1752.]
Small Change.—In common life, one much oftener wants small
money, and silver, than gold. Give me a man who has ready cash about
him for present expenses, shillings, half-crowns, and crowns, which
circulate easily; but a man who has only an ingot of gold about him
is much above common purposes, and his riches are not handy nor
convenient. Have as much gold as you please in one pocket, but take
care always to keep change in the other; for you will much oftener have
occasion for a shilling than for a guinea. [Sept, 19, 1752.]
Maxims.—My dear friend,—I never think my time so well
employed, as when I think it employed to your advantage. In that view,
I have thrown together, for your use, the enclosed maxims55; or,
to speak more properly, observations of men and things; for I have
no merit as to the invention; I am no system-monger; and, instead
of giving way to my imagination, I have only consulted my memory;
and my conclusions are all drawn from facts, not from fancy. Most
maxim-mongers have preferred the prettiness to the justness of a
thought, and the turn to the truth; but I have refused myself to
everything that my own experience did not justify and confirm. [Jan.
15, 1753.]
A Wet Summer.—There never was so wet a summer as this has
been, in the memory of man; we have not had one single day, since
March, without some rain; but most days a great deal. I hope that
does not affect your health, as great cold does; for, with all these
inundations, it has not been cold. God bless you! [Aug. 1, 1766.]
The Last Greeting.—Poor Harte is in a miserable condition, is
paralyzed in his left side, and can hardly speak intelligibly. I was
with him yesterday. He inquired after you with great affection, and was
in the utmost concern when I showed him your letter.
My own health is, as it has been ever since I was here last year. I
am neither well nor ill, but unwell. I have, in a manner, lost
the use of my legs; for though I can make a shift to crawl upon even
ground for a quarter of an hour, I cannot go up or down stairs, unless
supported by a servant.
God bless and grant you a speedy recovery! [Oct. 17, 1768.]
Here end the letters to Mr. Stanhope, as he died the 16th of
November following.
To Mrs. Stanhope, then at Paris.
Madam:—A troublesome and painful inflammation in my eyes
obliges me to use another hand than my own to acknowledge the receipt
of your letter from Avignon, of the 27th past.
I am extremely surprised that Mrs. du Bouchet should have any objection
to the manner in which your late husband desired to be buried, and
which you, very properly, complied with. All I desire for my own burial
is not to be buried alive; but how or where, I think, must be entirely
indifferent to every rational creature.
I have no commission to trouble you with during your stay at Paris,
from whence I wish you and the boys a good journey home, where I shall
be very glad to see you all, and assure you of my being, with great
truth, your faithful, humble servant, Chesterfield. [March
16, 1769.]
To the same, at London.
Madam:—The last time I had the pleasure of seeing you I
was so taken up in playing with the boys that I forgot their more
important affairs. How soon would you have them placed at school? When
I know your pleasure as to that, I will send to Monsieur Perny to
prepare everything for their reception. In the meantime, I beg that
you will equip them thoroughly with clothes, linen, etc., all good,
but plain, and give me the account, which I will pay, for I do not
intend that from this time forward, the two boys should cost you one
shilling. I am, with great truth, madam, your faithful, humble servant,
Chesterfield. [Wednesday.]
Stanhope’s Children.—Charles will be a scholar, if you
please, but our little Philip, without being one, will be something
or other as good, though I do not yet guess what. I am not of the
opinion generally entertained in this country, that man lives by Greek
and Latin alone; that is, by knowing a great many words of two dead
languages, which nobody living knows perfectly, and which are of no use
in the common intercourse of life. Useful knowledge, in my opinion,
consists of modern languages, history, and geography; some Latin may
be thrown into the bargain, in compliance with custom, and for closet
amusement.
You are by this time certainly tired with this long letter, which I
could prove to you from Horace’s own words (for I am a scholar)
to be a bad one; he says that water drinkers can write nothing good, so
I am, with real truth and esteem, your most faithful, humble servant,
Chesterfield. [Nov. 4, 1770.]
To Charles and Philip Stanhope.
The Last Letter.—I received, a few days ago, two, the
best-written letters that I ever saw in my life: the one signed Charles
Stanhope, the other Philip Stanhope. As for you, Charles, I do not
wonder at it; for you will take pains, and are a lover of letters: but
you idle rogue, you Phil, how came you to write so well, that one can
almost say of you two, et cantare pares et respondere parati?
Charles will explain this Latin to you.
I am told, Phil, that you have got a nickname at school, from your
intimacy with Master Strangeways; and that they call you Master
Strangerways; for, to be sure, you are a strange boy. Is this true?
Tell me what you would have me bring you both from hence, and I will
bring it to you when I come to town. In the meantime, God bless you
both!—Chesterfield. [Bath, Oct. 27, 1771.]
A proper secrecy is the only mystery of able men; mystery is the only
secrecy of weak and cunning ones.
A man who tells nothing, or who tells all, will equally have nothing
told him.
If a fool knows a secret, he tells it because he is a fool; if a knave
knows one, he tells it wherever it is his interest to tell it. But
women and young men are very apt to tell what secrets they know, from
the vanity of having been trusted. Trust none of these, whenever you
can help it.
Inattention to the present business, be it what it will; the doing one
thing, and thinking at the same time of another, or the attempting
to do two things at once, are the never-failing signs of a little,
frivolous mind.
A man who cannot command his temper, his attention, and his
countenance, should not think of being a man of business. The weakest
man in the world can avail himself of the passion of the wisest. The
inattentive man cannot know the business, and consequently cannot do
it. And he who cannot command his countenance, may e’en as well tell
his thoughts as show them.
Distrust all those who love you extremely upon a very slight
acquaintance, and without any visible reason. Be upon your guard, too,
against those, who confess, as their weaknesses, all the cardinal
virtues.
In your friendships, and in your enmities, let your confidence and your
hostilities have certain bounds: make not the former dangerous, nor the
latter irreconcilable. There are strange vicissitudes in business!
Smooth your way to the head, through the heart. The way of reason is a
good one; but it is commonly something longer, and perhaps not so sure.
Spirit is now a very fashionable word: to act with spirit, to speak
with spirit, means only, to act rashly, and to talk indiscreetly. An
able man shows his spirit by gentle words and resolute actions: he is
neither hot nor timid.
When a man of sense happens to be in that disagreeable situation, in
which he is obliged to ask himself more than once, What shall I
do? he will answer himself, Nothing. When his reason points out
to him no good way, or at least no one way less bad than another, he
will stop short, and wait for light. A little busy mind runs on at
all events, must be doing; and, like a blind horse, fears no dangers
because he sees none. Il faut savoir s’ennuyer.
Patience is a most necessary qualification for business; many a man
would rather you heard his story than granted his request. One must
seem to hear the unreasonable demands of the petulant, unmoved, and the
tedious details of the dull, untired. That is the least price a man
must pay for a high station.
It is always right to detect a fraud, and to perceive a folly; but it
is often very wrong to expose either. A man of business should always
have his eyes open; but must often seem to have them shut.
In courts, nobody should be below your management and attention: the
links that form the court-chain are innumerable and inconceivable.
You must hear with patience the dull grievances of a gentleman
usher, or a page of the back-stairs; who, very probably, lies with
some near relation of the favorite maid, of the favorite mistress,
of the favorite minister, or perhaps of the king himself; and who,
consequently, may do you more dark or indirect good, or harm, than the
first man of quality.
One good patron at court may be sufficient, provided you have no
personal enemies; and, in order to have none, you must sacrifice (as
the Indians do to the Devil) most of your passions, and much of your
time, to the numberless evil beings that infest it; in order to prevent
and avert the mischiefs they can do you.
A young man, be his merit what it will, can never raise himself; but
must, like the ivy round the oak, twine himself round some man of
great power and interest. You must belong to a minister some time,
before anybody will belong to you. And an inviolable fidelity to that
minister, even in his disgrace, will be meritorious, and recommend
you to the next. Ministers love a personal, much more than a party
attachment.
As kings are begotten and born like other men, it is to be presumed
that they are of the human species; and perhaps, had they the same
education, they might prove like other men. But, flattered from their
cradles, their hearts are corrupted, and their heads are turned, so
that they seem to be a species by themselves. No king ever said to
himself: Homo sum, nihil humani a me alienum puto.
Flattery cannot be too strong for them; drunk with it from their
infancy, like old drinkers, they require drams.
They prefer a personal attachment to a public service, and reward it
better. They are vain and weak enough to look upon it as a free-will
offering to their merit, and not as a burnt sacrifice to their power.
If you would be a favorite of your king, address yourself to his
weaknesses. An application to his reason will seldom prove very
successful.
In courts, bashfulness and timidity are as prejudicial on one hand,
as impudence and rashness are on the other. A steady assurance, and a
cool intrepidity, with an exterior modesty, are the true and necessary
medium.
Never apply for what you see very little probability of obtaining;
for you will, by asking improper and unattainable things, accustom
the ministers to refuse you so often, that they will find it easy to
refuse you the properest and most reasonable ones. It is a common but
a most mistaken rule at court, to ask for everything, in order to get
something: you do get something by it, it is true; but that something
is refusals and ridicule.
There is a court jargon, a chit-chat, a small talk, which turns singly
upon trifles; and which, in a great many words, says little or nothing.
It stands fools instead of what they cannot say, and men of sense
instead of what they should not say. It is the proper language of
levees, drawing-rooms, and ante-chambers; it is necessary to know it.
Whatever a man is at court, he must be genteel and well-bred; that
cloak covers as many follies, as that of charity does sins. I knew a
man of great quality, and in a great station at court, considered and
respected, whose highest character was, that he was humbly proud, and
genteelly dull.
It is hard to say which is the greatest fool; he who tells the whole
truth, or he who tells no truth at all. Character is as necessary in
business as in trade. No man can deceive often in either.
At court, people embrace without acquaintance, serve one another
without friendship, and injure one another without hatred. Interest,
not sentiment, is the growth of that soil.
A difference of opinion, though in the merest trifles, alienates
little minds, especially of high rank. It is full as easy to commend as
to blame a great man’s cook, or his tailor; it is shorter, too; and the
objects are no more worth disputing about, than the people are worth
disputing with. It is impossible to inform, but very easy to displease
them.
A cheerful, easy countenance and behavior are very useful at court;
they make fools think you are a good-natured man; and they make
designing men think you are an undesigning one.
There are some occasions in which a man must tell half his secret,
in order to conceal the rest; but there is seldom one in which a man
should tell it all. Great skill is necessary to know how far to go, and
where to stop.
Ceremony is necessary in courts, as the outwork and defence of manners.
Flattery, though a base coin, is the necessary pocket-money at court;
where, by custom and consent, it has obtained such a currency, that it
is no longer a fraudulent, but a legal payment.
If a minister refuses you a reasonable request, and either slights or
injures you, if you have not the power to gratify your resentment, have
the wisdom to conceal and dissemble it. Seeming good humor on your part
may prevent rancor on his, and perhaps bring things aright again: but
if you have the power to hurt, hint modestly that, if provoked, you
may possibly have the will too. Fear, when real, and well founded, is
perhaps a more prevailing motive at courts than love.
At court, many more people can hurt, than can help you; please the
former, but engage the latter.
Awkwardness is a more real disadvantage than it is generally thought to
be; it often occasions ridicule, it always lessens dignity.
A man’s own good breeding is his best security against other people’s
ill-manners.
Good breeding carries along with it a dignity, that is respected by
the most petulant. Ill breeding invites and authorizes the familiarity
of the most timid. No man ever said a pert thing to the Duke of
Marlborough. No man ever said a civil one (though many a flattering
one) to Sir Robert Walpole.
When the old clipped money was called in for a new coinage in King
William’s time, to prevent the like for the future, they stamped on the
edges of the crown pieces these words, et decus et tutamen. That
is exactly the case of good breeding.
Knowledge may give weight, but accomplishments only give lustre; and
many more people see than weigh.
Most arts require long study and application; but the most useful art
of all, that of pleasing, requires only the desire.
It is to be presumed that a man of common-sense, who does not desire
to please, desires nothing at all, since he must know that he cannot
obtain anything without it.
A skilful negotiator will most carefully distinguish between the little
and the great objects of his business, and will be as frank and open in
the former as he will be secret and pertinacious in the latter.
He will, by his manners and address, endeavor, at least, to make his
public adversaries his personal friends. He will flatter and engage the
man, while he counterworks the minister; and he will never alienate
people’s minds from him, by wrangling for points, either absolutely
unattainable, or not worth attaining. He will make even a merit of
giving up what he could not or would not carry, and sell a trifle for a
thousand times its value.
A foreign minister, who is concerned in great affairs, must necessarily
have spies in his pay; but he must not too easily credit their
informations, which are never exactly true, often very false. His
best spies will always be those whom he does not pay, but whom he has
engaged in his service by his dexterity and address, and who think
themselves nothing less than spies.
There is a certain jargon which in French I should call un
persiflage d’affaires, that a foreign minister ought to be
perfectly master of, and may use very advantageously at great
entertainments in mixed companies, and in all occasions where he
must speak and should say nothing. Well turned and well spoken, it
seems to mean something, though in truth it means nothing. It is
a kind of political badinage, which prevents or removes a
thousand difficulties to which a foreign minister is exposed in mixed
conversations.
If ever the volto sciolto and the pensieri stretti are
necessary, they are so in these affairs. A grave, dark, reserved, and
mysterious air has fœnum in cornu. An even, easy, unembarrassed
one invites confidence, and leaves no room for guesses and conjectures.
Both stimulation and dissimulation are absolutely necessary for a
foreign minister; and yet they must stop short of falsehood and
perfidy: that middle point is the difficult one: there ability
consists. He must often seem pleased, when he is vexed; and grave,
when he is pleased; but he must never say either: that would be
falsehood—an indelible stain to character.
A foreign minister should be a most exact economist. An expense
proportioned to his appointments and fortune is necessary; but, on the
other hand, debt is inevitable ruin to him. It sinks him into disgrace
at the court where he resides, and into the most servile and abject
dependence on the court that sent him. As he cannot resent ill usage,
he is sure to have enough of it.
The Duc de Sully observes very justly, in his Memoirs, that nothing
contributed more to his rise, than that prudent economy which he had
observed from his youth, and by which he had always a sum of money
beforehand, in case of emergencies.
It is very difficult to fix the particular point of economy; the best
error of the two is on the parsimonious side. That may be corrected;
the other cannot.
The reputation of generosity is to be purchased pretty cheap; it does
not depend so much upon a man’s general expense, as it does upon
his giving handsomely where it is proper to give at all. A man, for
instance, who should give a servant four shillings would pass for
covetous, while he who gave him a crown would be reckoned generous; so
that the difference of those two opposite characters turns upon one
shilling. A man’s character, in that particular, depends a great deal
upon the report of his own servants; a mere trifle above common wages
makes their report favorable.
Take care always to form your establishment so much within your income
as to leave a sufficient fund for unexpected contingencies and a
prudent liberality. There is hardly a year, in any man’s life, in which
a small sum of ready money may not be employed to great advantage.
It is often madness to engage in a conspiracy; but nothing is so
effectual to bring people afterward to their senses, at least for a
time. As in such undertakings, the danger subsists, even after the
business is over; this obliges to be prudent and circumspect in the
succeeding moments.
2. A middling understanding, being susceptible of unjust suspicions, is
consequently, of all characters, the least fit to head a faction; as
the most indispensable qualification in such a chief is to suppress,
in many occasions, and to conceal in all, even the best grounded
suspicions.
3. Nothing animates and gives strength to a commotion so much as the
ridicule of him against whom it is raised.
4. Among people used to affairs of moment, secrecy is much less
uncommon than is generally believed.
5. Descending to the little is the surest way of attaining to an
equality with the great.
6. Fashion, though powerful in all things, is not more so in any, than
in being well or ill at court. There are times when disgrace is a kind
of fire, that purifies all bad qualities, and illuminates every good
one. There are others, in which the being out of favor is unbecoming a
man of character.
7. Sufferings, in people of the first rank, supply the want of virtue.
8. There is a confused kind of jumble, which practice sometimes
teaches; but it is never to be understood by speculation.
9. The greatest powers cannot injure a man’s character, whose
reputation is unblemished among his party.
10. We are as often duped by diffidence, as by confidence.
11. The greatest evils are not arrived at their utmost period until
those who are in power have lost all sense of shame. At such a time
those who should obey shake off all respect and subordination. Then is
lethargic indolence roused; but roused by convulsions.
12. A veil ought always to be drawn over whatever may be said or
thought concerning the rights of the people, or of kings; which agree
best when least mentioned.58
13. There are, at times, situations so very unfortunate, that whatever
is undertaken must be wrong. Chance, alone, never throws people into
such dilemmas; and they happen only to those who bring them upon
themselves.
14. It is more unbecoming a minister to say, than to do, silly things.
15. The advice given to a minister, by an obnoxious person, is always
thought bad.
16. It is as dangerous, and almost as criminal, with princes, to have
the power of doing good, as the will of doing evil.
17. Timorous minds are much more inclined to deliberate than to resolve.
18. It appears ridiculous to assert, but it is not the less true, that
at Paris, during the popular commotions, the most violent will not quit
their homes past a stated hour.
19. Flexibility is the most requisite qualification for the management
of great affairs.
20. It is more difficult for the member of a faction to live with those
of his own party, than to act against those who oppose it.
21. The greatest dangers have their allurements, if the want of success
is likely to be attended with a degree of glory. Middling dangers are
horrid, when the loss of reputation is the inevitable consequence of
ill success.
22. Violent measures are always dangerous, but when necessary, may
then be looked upon as wise. They have, however, the advantage of
never being matter of indifferency; and, when well concerted, must be
decisive.
23. There may be circumstances, in which even prudence directs us to
trust entirely to chance.
24. Everything in this world has its critical moment, and the height of
good conduct consists in knowing and seizing it.
25. Profligacy, joined to ridicule, forms the most abominable and most
dangerous of all characters.
26. Weak minds never yield when they ought.
27. Variety of sights have the greatest effect upon the mob, and also
upon numerous assemblies, who, in many respects, resemble mobs.
28. Examples taken from past times have infinitely more power over the
minds of men, than any of the age in which they live. Whatever we see,
grows familiar; and perhaps the consulship of Caligula’s horse might
not have astonished us so much as we are apt to imagine.
29. Weak minds are commonly overpowered by clamor.
30. We ought never to contend for what we are not likely to obtain.
31. The instant in which we receive the most favorable accounts, is
just that wherein we ought to redouble our vigilance, even in regard to
the most trifling circumstances.
32. It is dangerous to have a known influence over people; as thereby
we become responsible even for what is done against our will.
33. One of the greatest difficulties in civil war is, that more art is
required to know what should be concealed from our friends, than what
ought to be done against our enemies.
34. Nothing lowers a great man so much, as not seizing the decisive
moment of raising his reputation. This is seldom neglected, but with a
view to fortune; by which mistake, it is not unusual to miss both.
35. The possibility of remedying imprudent actions is commonly an
inducement to commit them.
36. Every numerous assembly is a mob; consequently everything there
depends upon instantaneous turns.
37. Whatever measure seems hazardous, and is in reality not so, is
generally a wise one.
38. Irresolute minds always adopt with facility whatever measure can
admit of different issues, and consequently do not require an absolute
decision.
39. In momentous affairs, no step is indifferent.
40. There are times in which certain people are always in the right.
41. Nothing convinces persons of a weak understanding so effectually as
what they do not comprehend.
42. When factions are only upon the defensive, they ought never to
do that which may be delayed. Upon such occasions, nothing is so
troublesome as the restlessness of subalterns; who think a state of
inaction total destruction.
43. Those who head factions have no way of maintaining their authority,
but by preventing or quieting discontent.
44. A certain degree of fear produces the same effects as rashness.
45. In affairs of importance, the choice of words is of as much
consequence, as it would be superfluous in those of little moment.
46. During those calms which immediately succeed violent storms,
nothing is more difficult for ministers than to act properly; because,
while flattery increases, suspicions are not yet subsided.
47. The faults of our friends ought never to anger us so far as to give
an advantage to our enemies.
48. The talent of insinuation is more useful than that of persuasion,
as everybody is open to insinuation, but scarce any to persuasion.
49. In matters of a delicate nature, all unnecessary alterations are
dangerous, because odious.
50. The best way to compel weak-minded people to adopt our opinion, is
to frighten them from all others, by magnifying their danger.
51. We must run all hazards, where we think ourselves in a situation to
reap some advantage, even from the want of success.
52. Irresolute men are diffident in resolving upon the means, even when
they are determined upon the end.
53. It is almost a sure game, with crafty men, to make them believe we
intend to deceive those whom we mean to serve.
54. One of the greatest difficulties with princes is in the being often
obliged, in order to serve them, to give advice, the true reasons of
which we dare not mention.
55. The saying things which we foresee will not be pleasing, can only
be softened by the greatest appearance of sincerity.
56. We ought never to trifle with favor. If real, we should hastily
seize the advantage; if pretended, avoid the allurement.
57. It is very inconsequent to enter into engagements upon suppositions
we think impossible, and yet it is very usual.
58. The generality of mankind pay less attention to arguments urged
against their opinion, than to such as may engage the disputant to
adopt their own.
59. In times of faction and intrigue, whatever appears inert is
reckoned mysterious by those who are not accustomed to affairs of
moment.
60. It is never allowable in an inferior to equal himself in words to a
superior, although he may rival him in actions.
61. Every man whom chance alone has, by some accident, made a public
character, hardly ever fails of becoming, in a short time, a ridiculous
private one.
62. The greatest imperfection of men is the complacency with which they
are willing to think others not free from faults, of which they are
themselves conscious.
63. Experience only can teach men not to prefer what strikes them for
the present moment, to what will have much greater weight with them
hereafter.
64. In the management of important business, all turn to raillery must
be more carefully avoided than in any other.
65. In momentous transactions, words cannot be sufficiently weighed.
66. The permanency of most friendships depends upon the continuity of
good fortune.
67. Whoever assembles the multitude will raise commotions.
I have taken the trouble of extracting and collecting, for your
use, the foregoing Political Maxims of the Cardinal de Retz, in his
Memoirs. They are not aphorisms of his invention, but the true and just
observations of his own experience, in the course of great business.
My own experience attests the truth of them all. Read them over with
attention as here above, and then read with the same attention, and
tout de suite, the Memoirs, where you will find the facts and
characters from whence those observations are drawn, or to which they
are applied; and they will reciprocally help to fix each other in your
mind. I hardly know any book so necessary for a young man to read and
remember. You will there find how great business is really carried on;
very differently from what people, who have never been concerned in it,
imagine. You will there see what courts and courtiers really are, and
observe that they are neither so good as they should be, nor so bad
as they are thought by most people. The court poet, and the sullen,
cloistered pedant, are equally mistaken in their notions, or at least
in the accounts they give us of them. You will observe the coolness
in general, the perfidy in some cases, and the truth in a very few,
of court friendships. This will teach you the prudence of a general
distrust, and the imprudence of making no exception to that rule, upon
good and tried grounds. You will see the utility of good breeding
toward one’s greatest enemies, and the high imprudence and folly of
either insulting or injurious expressions.