María fixed her eyes on Paoletti’s face with a softened
gaze. The circumstances were so solemn that
even the good little priest, accustomed as he was to
melancholy and emotional scenes, was deeply moved.
Controlling himself however, he went up to the bed, and
taking the fevered white hand that she held out to him,
said with mystical enthusiasm:
“We are alone, my beloved daughter—my sister
and friend, whom I love most truly; alone with our
spiritual thoughts and sacred fervour. Fear has no place
here; joy reigns alone. Arise, pure conscience, fear not;
appear in all your brightness, rejoice in your own
beauty, and instead of dreading the hour of release look
forward to it eagerly. Oh Triumph! do not disguise
thyself under a false semblance of defeat.”
María, less eager than usual to swallow the sweet
droppings of this mystical honeycomb, was thinking, in
fact, of something else. It was with bitterness as well
as sadness that she said:
“I have been deceived.”
“With a pious purpose,” replied Paoletti promptly.
“The alarming state of your health required the concealment
of the painful truth. Forgive me if I too lent
myself to the deception which was, as I repeat, a deed of
Christian charity. I saw how necessary it was to second
your husband’s beneficent plan....”
“And he has kept me, and is keeping me, under
that woman’s roof,” she exclaimed, half-choking.
“It was through no fault of his. There was no
other house within reach where you could have the
requisite medical attendance and be properly taken care
of. I entirely approve of your having been brought
here. A life in imminent peril is not a thing to be lifted
and carried about like a sack. The best thing that could
happen to you was to be here.”
“And I dreamed it—and when I woke they denied
it.” She was too weak to speak more than a few words
at a time, and it is impossible to give any idea of the
feeble, extinct, quavering tones of her voice. It was
like that of a forsaken child, wearied out with calling
and crying for its mother.
“And my husband and that woman,” she went on,
“will meet hour after hour in this house to embrace and
to count ...” again her voice failed her, and Paoletti
himself felt a lump rising in his throat.
“To count the minutes I have left to live—as I
count the beads of my rosary.”
There was a pause, during which the confessor tried
to regain his composure.
“My dearest friend in the Lord,” he began, “this is
really a monstrous invention of your fancy. Listen to
me while I tell you the exact facts, the truth to which I
bear witness as a servant of God. The truth can do
no harm to a noble soul like yours; a conscience so
brave and so blameless will not be unhinged by a
revelation of human weakness which cannot in any
way affect it, any more than the dust blown up from
the highway can affect the purity and whiteness of the
clouds in the sky. You shall hear the whole truth, with
nothing kept back and nothing added. Don Leon, it
is true, loves this lady; he himself owned as much to
me; and as he did not tell me under the seal of confession,
I may and ought to tell you. But at the same
time, I solemnly declare to you that the lady is not
now at Suertebella, but that your husband himself begged
and desired her to leave. Decency I may say required
it, which is the outward sign of the grace of
modesty. Your unhappy husband is, of course, incapable
of any moral feeling; but, thanks to a cultivated
mind, he has the religion of appearances, and can always
assume that superficial guise of virtue which we
term chivalry.”
María made no reply. Her white hand, which had
not, during her brief illness, had time to grow thin and
retained its delicate roundness, was playing with the
fringe of the counterpane. Not far from this restless
hand was the small bullet-head of the Italian; his face
pale and lifeless when he sat with his eyes cast down,
though, when he looked up, they glittered with a flash
that suggested the sparkling of fireworks.
“I cannot believe,” said the priest fixing María with
the fascination of that glance, “that a spirit so fortified
by divine love as yours is, can allow these facts to disturb
it. I know you well, and I cannot imagine that
beautiful soul fettered and dragged down by trivial anxieties
like any ordinary woman, or detaching its thoughts
from the sublime ideal spheres to wander through the
murky paths of worldly disputations, like idle minds
that find time too long. Am I right my beloved
daughter? Am I mistaken in thinking that those eyes,
accustomed to the splendours of Heaven, can no
longer deign to look down on the feebler lights of
earth?”
“I am jealous,” said María the tone in which we
state a pathetic truth. And just as the centurion gave
the Redeemer a sponge dipped in vinegar for refreshment
when he was athirst, the priest poured honey and
vinegar into María’s parched soul.
“Jealous!” he said. “Jealous, when you have fired
your heart with the love that is never unrequited! Unless
I have failed to enter into the feelings of my illustrious
penitent, she must have fortitude, and grace, and
a sense of divine love which will raise her above such
base anxieties. Jealous—of whom? Of another
woman, and for the sake of a man; jealous, of nothing
in a creature who is nothing and who is worth nothing!—Some
radical change must have taken place in your
mind, my dear daughter. What has occasioned it?”
“Jealousy,” murmured María from the depths of
her anguish.
Then, by slow degrees, frequently pausing to rest,
María related all that had happened since Pilar de San
Salomó had told her of Leon’s infidelities, until she lost
consciousness. She told the priest everything, omitting
nothing of importance, nor any interesting detail.
“Excepting your outbursts of indignation, your
sacrifice to worldly prejudice in the matter of dress,
and your overhasty action, there is nothing reprehensible
in your conduct,” said Paoletti as he sat with his
head resting on his hand and his eyes cast down on the
floor—like a weapon laid by in its sheath, listening to
her story, word by word, drop by drop like an extract
distilled from an alembic. María breathed a sigh of
relief.
“I thought I had sinned heavily,” she said.
“You have sinned no doubt, in the way I have said;
but it is no mortal sin. I see in your visit nothing more
than a woman’s natural impulse to prevent the rupture of
a sacred tie. I have told you already, many times, that
your pure desire to cultivate the spiritual life, and his
deep contempt for the faith cannot exempt either of
you from the duties of married life. So long as you
both live, you are bound together by the sacrament of
marriage, and when one strove to burst the bonds it was
only natural and right that the other should fly to prevent
it; nay to tighten the tie if that were possible.
Ah! my most precious daughter, how often have we
talked it over!”
María nodded affirmatively and fixed her eyes on
the ceiling.
“When my object was to give a fixed purpose to
your beautiful life, I have often said this,” continued
Paoletti, not lifting his gaze from the ground, but staring
at the carpet, as if he did not know where to look.
“Many times as you know, I have quieted your mind
on this point when you were disturbed by scruples.
‘No,’ I have said, ‘God cannot require a married
woman to close her mind to every consideration of
what she owes to her husband.’ He, even though he
may have erred in spiritual things, has a right which
cannot be abrogated even though his ideas and principles
may be in direct opposition to those of his wife.
Although, seeing his contumacious incredulity it is impossible
that you should give him an atom—I say an
atom since I must perforce use a material image—an
atom, I say, of your exquisite spirit, of those graces
which are claimed by their Creator; although you cannot
have any single idea in common, nor that confidence
which might fill him with vain hopes that he could ever
turn his wife out of the path of perfection in which she
is walking—still, all that is not of the spirit is his; all
that is essentially of the flesh and world. You have
confided to me all your most intimate thoughts, all the
tender secrets of your soul—all your husband’s expressions
and opinions; I have fully appreciated him
and on my knowledge of the facts I laid down for you
a scheme of life to which you have perfectly conformed
until now, when I find you distraught and wandering
from the path. But remember all we have said about
it, and my arguments which will set everything in its
right light; and never confuse spiritual things with
what is merely human, or that which is of God with
the things of the flesh.”
María said nothing, but turned herself wearily on
her pillow.
“Speak to me, my dear and precious lamb.”
“My husband said a great deal....” she murmured.
“Yes; and you know that in our delightful discussions
I was always able to confute his sophistical arguments;
you always saw I was right—you were always
convinced.”
“But then I was not jealous—and jealousy—I
know it now as surely as I know God—jealousy is my
way of loving.”
“Yes, you loved him!” said Paoletti a good deal
confused, as he glanced up for a moment and then
looked down again, “because you took an interest in
him, and did not wish him to suffer; and in this I supported
you—always supported you.”
“But still, he said a great deal,” repeated María in
the same weary tone of an unhappy child. “He said
that you....”
“Well, that I?”
“That you, by constantly pruning my affections to
concentrate them on God, by pruning my ideas, from a
terror of atheism, by robbing him of my heart and
leaving nothing but duty, had left him nothing of his
wife but the slave of his desires.”
“Oh! woman, woman!” exclaimed Paoletti eagerly
and not without some dignity. “How often have I refuted
this argument, which is terrible only in appearance,
and left you soothed and reassured!”
“But can you refute the fact....”
“What fact?”
“That I am jealous, envious; that now I long for
what is no longer mine.”
The worthy priest looked up and raised his head:
nay, not content with this, but wishing, it would seem,
to let the light of his eyes shine forth like a beacon to
guide the wandering seaman, he rose to his feet and
stood looking down on his penitent. He was in fact
uncomfortable, ill at ease, and, if the truth must be
told, not entirely pleased with himself.
“My dear lady,” he went on, piercing her with his
glance as an angel might pierce with his sword, “I
shall be compelled to speak to you with a severity
which ill accords with the friendship—Friendship, do
I say?—respect, veneration, which I feel for you; for
indeed your many and great perfections have made me
cease to regard you as a penitent or even as a friend in
the Lord; I have learnt to think of you as a saint, as a
pure and exquisite creature, far above myself in every
respect. And now...!”
There was a pause. María, moved by this appeal,
folded her white hands and exclaimed fervently:
“O Lord! and my precious brother! come both of
you and help me!”
“Call upon them with a heart purified from all
baser affections, which are, as I may say, the rust of the
soul,” said Paoletti, feeling the fount of his eloquence
unsealed. “If you call upon them so, they will respond.
A fervent spiritual impulsion, my sweet friend,” and he
pressed his hand to his heart as though he were clutching
it. “A deep yearning from the soul, an afflatus
arising from two aspirations: the desire to cast off this
foul body and the craving to fly up and away to the
radiant and serene realm above, never to return. Courage,
beautiful soul—on whose wings we may already
see the pearly reflections of the glorious day of Paradise—courage!
and let not your wings droop. You
are near the goal. Gaze upwards,” and he suited the
action to the word, “do not look down; that will make
you giddy—look up, and you will see the loveliness
and splendour that lies before you, infinitely beyond
anything that your fancy can dream of in its most rapturous
flights. There you will hear celestial strains, and
feel that exquisite and joyful ease which will wrap you
in ecstasy, in a robe of ravishment, and in heavenly
contemplation. Do not look back, seraphic soul, I entreat
you; for your own sake and for ours who look on
you as an example, for the Glory of God who made
you so perfect as His crowning work, for His own
pleasure and glory; on my knees I beseech you—I a
humble priest of no worth, of no account, but that it
has been my privilege to lead you in the path to eternal
joys, oh beatific soul! Thus winning some small merit
which is as nothing by the side of yours.”
There was a silence. Paoletti was a man of entire
good faith and meant all he said; he knelt down and
clasped his hands.
“You—on your knees,” murmured María. “No
no—not that. I will do as you desire me. But how
am I to escape from the feelings that possess me?”
“Feel something different,” said the Italian rising.
“You must know it well; you who have schooled your
heart and mind with the care and watchfulness of a
saint. Do you experience any diminution in the fervour
or depth of your love to God, in your pious zeal?”
María waved her hand in negation. Then, turning
her head towards Paoletti that he might hear her better,
she said:
“And if I do not cast out—what you bid me cast
out, will it delay my salvation?”
“Nay, angel of goodness! Never for an instant
have I doubted of your salvation. What, can a soul so
full of merits be lost? Never.—There is no need for
you to tell me that these feelings which have come to
agitate you are untainted by rancour, and will not prevent
your full forgiveness of those by whom offences
have come. Am I wrong?”
María shook her head.
“Then your salvation is sure. If I try to eradicate
this insignificant weed it is only because I long to see
so lovely a soul absolutely spotless—because I cannot
be satisfied with a victory, but crave a triumph and long
to see you wear the crown, not merely of virtue but of
sanctity. What I desire,” he added enthusiastically, “is
that you should rise to Heaven bathed in light and
glory, hailed by rejoicing angels and that you should
not look back from the everlasting threshold of star-sown
sapphire, even to cast a glance of contempt at
this world. What I desire to see in you, is absolute
purity, the celestial essence of love!”
“All this I can have without being able to free myself
from earthly griefs. If I can be saved as I am,
God may take me as I am.”
Paoletti was silent; suddenly he said:
“My dear daughter, do you, with all your heart,
forgive those who have sinned against you?”
A pause.
“Yes,” said María, when the priest had given up all
hope of a reply. “I forgive my husband whose infidelity
has killed me.” And as she spoke the tears
flowed down her cheeks.
“And her, too—the woman who has robbed you
of your husband’s affection.—Do you forgive her?”
Paoletti stood waiting with his eyes fixed on the dying
woman’s face. María closed hers in deep abstraction.
The priest thought it was the end; he bent over
her in great alarm. But presently he heard a sob
which said: “Yes—her, too.”
“Then my beloved and noble daughter, if you forgive—which
is the only way to expel the evil leaven
from your soul, you will enter the gates of Heaven in
triumph,” said the Padre in a voice of dramatic solemnity.
There could be no doubt that he held the key of
those gates. Suddenly, inspired as it seemed by the
supernatural influence the priest exercised over her,
María rallied her strength and particularly her powers
of voice. Even her pale cheeks recovered a tinge of
colour which gave fresh brilliancy and eagerness to her
eyes.
“Your words have given me new life!” she said,
without difficulty. “I had a cloud, a veil before my
eyes, and it has vanished; I see clearly—so clearly
that I can only marvel at the mercies the Lord has
vouchsafed to me in shedding this light on my soul,
and know not how to thank Him. He has shown me
the path by which I may go to Him, and called me with
the voice of His loving kindness. I will follow—I
come, I come, my God, Father and Redeemer, I clasp
thy cross!”
“This, this is what I longed for, my beloved penitent
and friend,” exclaimed the enraptured priest, while
tears started to his eyes and ran down his cheeks.
“Soon your spirit will dwell in the realms of eternal
bliss. How blessed is it, my daughter, to have no fear
of death, but, on the contrary, to look forward with joy
to the moment when the last spark of this miserable existence
is lost in the first radiance of a life of endless
glory! Sweetest soul, purified by prayer, by unfailing
piety, by heroic mortification of the evil within, by incessant
absorption into the divine idea—spread your
wings, whiter than sunlit clouds—fear not, soar upwards,
fix your eyes on the goal, open your ears to the
hymn that greets you, inhale the ineffable fragrance of
Paradise, be bold to enter the fatherly presence of the
Creator of the sun and stars—who will welcome you
with the smile which gave birth to light itself, and receive
you as a martyr and a saint.”
“Yes—” said María folding her hands calmly
across her bosom. “I feel myself float upwards, and I
can find no words to express my happiness. I feel as
if I had already forgotten the language of this world
and could not speak it. My last words still shall be
that I forgive with all my heart, those who have sinned
against me.”
There was a pause during which the priest murmured
a prayer.
“Father,” said María letting her hand fall on the
bed to rouse him from the mystic trance into which he
seemed to have fallen: “It strikes me that I ought to
tell my husband that I forgive him.”
“It is unnecessary, but you can do so.”
“Who knows but that a few words spoken in such
a solemn moment may not have an awakening effect on
his perishing soul.”
“Yes, indeed; it is an idea worthy of your lovely
character.—We will tell him.”
“At such a moment,” added María recurring to the
ideas which Paoletti regarded as beneath her, and talking
with nervous eagerness, “he cannot contradict me.
Ah! he is so ready with his answers when I accuse
him that he sometimes confounds me. Once....”
She paused a minute and then went on. “Once he
came to me very melancholy and weary. It was a
very wet night—and the poor fellow, having lent his
carriage to a friend who was ill, was wet to the skin.
The same day a friend had died, to whom he was very
much attached, a well-known atheist, who, as you
know, had constantly shared my poor Leon’s studies
and opinions. Yes—he was very sad.—I pitied him
as I saw him come in, but I was at my prayers, and I
could not interrupt them. He changed his clothes, but
he shivered just as much in his dry things as in his wet
ones; he was trembling with fever. I ordered the servants
to prepare some warm tea for him, and then went
on with my prayers, beseeching God that He would
touch his heart—but He never heard me!—Suddenly
Leon came and sat down by me on a low stool almost
at my feet, and took my hand and kissed it; his lips
were burning: ‘I want to love and to be loved,’ he
said. ‘Living like this, we are like two thistles growing
each by itself in a field.’ It was all I could do not to
listen to him. I was obliged to put down my prayer-book,
but I went on praying without it, and kept my
eyes fixed and my mind concentrated on holy things,
so as to keep out all other thoughts. That very day
you and I had talked together for a long time about
the tactics employed by an infidel mind to entrap the
godly. I fortified myself by recalling your words and
let the electric current of affection that came from me
to him pass by. I remained a perfect statue; I knew
that I ought to be angry, so I was, and I flung his
atheism in his teeth. He shivered with his chill and
said: ‘Well, as my home is empty for me, I will go to
some asylum.’ What things he said! ‘I want to love
and to be loved,’—he said that again and again. He
would laugh and pay me compliments like a boy; then
he would talk about the house, and the children we
never had.—But I was firm and as cold as ice, for if
I had shown him the least tenderness, how elated he
would have been, and I utterly humiliated!—And I
should have felt that my humiliation was the abasement
of the Christian Faith and Church. My plan was
traced out for me—and how wisely! I rose from my
knees: ‘Be converted and then I will listen to you,’ I
said, and I left him alone.—How well I remember
that night. I remember that as I went into my own
room, I was quite grieved to see him so cold, and I
took a cloak down from the door. I had begun my
prayers again in my room when I heard him say:
‘Curses on those who made you what you are!’”
“But my beloved daughter,” said Paoletti, “you
are agitating yourself unduly with these reminiscences.”
“I think I can see him now!” she went on with
an ecstatic fire in her eye. “He was so pale, and his
eyes were full of a desolate melancholy—he looked
like a hungry child that puts out its arms to seek its
mother’s breast and finds a stone.—I fancy I can still
feel the rough touch of his beard on the back of my
hand, and the weight of his weary head on my knees.
I did not let it rest there, but I looked at him, asking
myself why God had allowed materialism and disbelief
to find a place in such a handsome head. And there
is something fascinating in his black eyes—the grasp
of his hand is so firm and manly—he has a combination
of gravity and brightness—strength that does not
detract from the beauty....”
“Friend of my soul,” interrupted Paoletti, “I conclude
that when you dwell at length on his perfections,
it is only to wonder how the Omnipotent in his supreme
wisdom could join them to a blind soul, spiritually
dead.”
“Just so, just so.—But these memories crowd upon
me and I cannot shake them off. They are too strong
for me.—I remember one day, after several days of
disagreement, he came into the room quite furious. It
was the first time I ever saw him in a passion, and it
frightened me excessively. He spoke very violently,
took my hand and shook it as if he wanted to wrench
it off. I fell on my knees.—I fancy I can feel his hand
now with a grip like a vice; oh! if I really felt it I believe
it would make me wish to live!—He said cruel
things to me, but even though he was so angry, he
could not be brutal. This sudden fit of rage was in fact
a joy to me, for it showed me how much he loved me;
but as I had no doubts of his fidelity I did not choose
to make any show of affection. I knew very well that
he would not hurt me, so I said to him: ‘You
may kill me if you like, I do not care; but give me an
hour—I am dividing my clothes among the poor.’
That was the truth; above a hundred poor wretches were
waiting at the door. I was so proud of my charitable
action that I could afford to despise the tyrant.—And
he said: ‘It is horrible to have a wound aching in one’s
soul and not to be able to return blow for blow, to take
the smallest revenge, to kill or even to punish....’ But
ah! he was splendid in his wrath.”
“Enough of this,” said the priest with sudden decision
“I cannot allow another word of these memories
which imperil your soul. You, who could then
struggle to keep your spirit pure, will surely not succumb
now.”
“No, I will not succumb”—said María, but there
was a look of anguish in her white face which betrayed
what it cost her to break the mysterious chains that
held her even in this supreme hour. “I have mortified
myself indeed, and fought many battles to divest my
mind of the sense of his attractions, and see the bare and
hideous skeleton of the man. It was you who advised
me to think of him as a skeleton—and it has been my
salvation.—For my soul would inevitably have been
lost.—Father, would it not?—if I had yielded to his
persuasions. It would have led me into sin—Father,
would it not?—He would have triumphed over me spiritually
speaking and have led my soul astray—Father,
would he not?” And at each question, betraying her
doubts and inward struggle, the priest replied by an emphatic
sign of assent. “I said to him: ‘I am yours in
all indifferent matters, but my spirit you shall never
subdue.’—Sometimes I forced myself to pass weeks
without saying a word to him—I was right, was I not?”
“My poor unfortunate friend,” said Paoletti with a
sigh, “you are asking me things you have asked a
thousand times before. Let us turn over this gloomy
page which we have amply discussed already, and discourse
of God and of forgiveness....”
“Of forgiveness!” said María raising her head without
moving her body. “Of what forgiveness?”
Her eyes had the wild glare that prognosticates delirium;
she suddenly sat up in bed and clasping her
hands to her head, exclaimed:
“I do not forgive, I do not forgive—I cannot—my
husband only—I forgive him. Leon I will forgive you
if you will return to me.—Not her, not her....” She
could say no more; she threw up her arms and fell back
as if she were dying.
Paoletti gazed at her in horror; María kept her eyes
fixed on his with a crazy glare. The priest felt the cold
sweat start on his brow, and his heart beat as though it
would burst his ribs. Presently María closed her eyes;
the crisis wore itself out in exhaustion, sighs, and sobs.
Paoletti said in tones which he meant to be awful:
“Thou Soul! that I believed to be victorious, and
that art yet yielding to the Foe: God will not forgive
those who show no forgiveness!” And falling on his
knees, he took the crucifix between his hands and prayed
in silence. He was in truth in deep distress—a shepherd
striving to save his favourite lamb. For some time
María neither spoke nor moved. At length, with a deep
sigh, she said in accents of despair: “I am a miserable
sinner and cannot hope to be saved.”
The hapless tortured soul was struggling like a shipwrecked
wretch, one hand stretched up to Heaven and
the other feeling for earth.
“I am overwhelmed with grief,” said Paoletti looking
up, and his face was wet with sincere tears. “The
soul that I believed I had won to fill a glorious throne
in Heaven, has suddenly fallen into the abyss....”
“Into the abyss,” echoed María with a heart-breaking
sob.
“And still I beseech the Lord that he will save it—that
he will save this most precious soul; that he will
not condemn it, that he will have mercy upon it.—Oh!
Merciful Saviour I have seen her Thine, wholly Thine,
and to see her now, given over to Satan!—Is she not
a pearl of great price? How canst Thou bear that
she should fall into the pit of everlasting punishment?
Hast Thou not purified and tried her as a jewel to be
worn by Thee throughout eternity? Hapless soul,” he
went on, turning to María, “listen to my last appeal if
you hope not to see the robe of purity and beatitude
turned into one of agonizing flames. Return to a better
mind; to that sweet and elect state which affords
greater delights than the most exquisite perfumes, the
most delicious food, and the loveliest sights on earth.
Save thyself yet, if not from this world, at least from
Hell!”
This vigorous allocution produced its effect; the
reverend orator continued to pour out his poetical eloquence,
not without feeling though somewhat theatrical
and full of figurative rhetoric; and lavishly adorned
with “celestial splendour, seraphic choirs, divine love,
and white-robed spirits.” When he had ended, María,
kissing the crucifix that her pastor put into her hands,
shed a few bitter tears as she said:
“I resign all to Thee, blessed Redeemer—there is
no leaven in my soul of baser affections. I resign them
all with my life and cast them into the fire. Still, one
thing remains; but you, Father, who can do everything,
can pluck out this last thorn from my heart.”
“What is that?”
“Prove to me that Pepa’s child is not my husband’s.”
“How can I prove that, unfortunate woman?” cried
Paoletti thunderstruck. “How should I know the
secrets of hearts? It may be so, my child—and it
may not.” And then the worthy man, knowing only
the surface of human nature and not the depths of the
heart, added in perfect good faith: “She is a pretty
little girl.”
This was seizing a spear to pierce the heart and
shorten the agony. María writhed in her bed.
“Noble and beautiful soul,” exclaimed Paoletti rising
to his feet with glowing looks and an uplifted hand:
“Throw off this last earthly anxiety, cast away these
dregs of life, and keep the vessel pure to receive the
precious water of eternal glory.”
“I want to be saved,” murmured María, who now
looked more dead than alive.
“Then free yourself, purge your soul completely,
and forgive.”
“I do—I will—I forgive....” The words sounded
like the faint mysterious whisper of a soul escaping,
and dying on the lips of the speaker.
“Forgive, and your salvation is assured.” The
priest seemed to grow taller with his solemn and mystical
enthusiasm. María’s was mingled with a superstitious
terror which made her hair stand on end, and
hang dishevelled like grass swept down by the swift
rush of a passing train.
“Kiss this sacred image,” said Paoletti, “and forget
the world—totally, absolutely.”
“I do,” murmured María from the depths of the
gulf of self-mortification into which she had fallen.
“That there is such a thing as a man or woman in it.”
“I do,” said the voice, more softly, as though from
a lower depth.
“Let it be quite indifferent to you whether your
body is at Suertebella or in your own house. Mortify
your self-love to a conviction that the temporal triumphs
of the wicked cannot affect you. Divest yourself
of every feeling of aversion for this house, and remember
that the chapel here is dedicated to St. Luis
Gonzaga, whose very image and portrait our beloved
Luis was.”
This reminiscence seemed to rouse María.
“Yes—I am reconciled to the place. The mere
sound of your name, my most blessed brother, fills me
with joy. May your glorified spirit come to succour
mine.”
“Amen, amen!” María kissed the crucifix.
“I wish all I possess—if I possess anything—to
be given to the poor. You and my husband will agree
about that. I wish to be buried by my brother’s side,
and let Masses be said over my body at the altar of the
saint I most venerate: St. Luis Gonzaga.”
“Yes, my beloved daughter. It cannot matter to
so noble a soul that the altar is at Suertebella.”
“Nothing matters, I forgive with all my heart.—I
am reconciled to my Saviour and can hope!”
Paoletti with outstretched hands and half-closed
eyes solemnly, slowly pronounced absolution.
“Now that you are reconciled to God,” he said
with some emotion, “you can receive the Holy Sacrament.”